#i have my exam tomorrow but if i dont feel okay I'm not going bc I can't study like this

[wolfchans]

I've been feeling awful since yesterday lmao 😭 it's like my body decided to give up on me and gave me the most awful migraines known to man

[doukeshi-kun]

a promise is a promise

daddy's home 😘

🌃-anon here ^^ hooray!!

okay okay phew it's been so long i forgot how to write anon ask but, a comeback is desperately needed to save the day. I'm here to talk about professor!nikolai agenda. your girl started uni and i need to cope.

while collegestudent!nikolai has been eating my brain like crazy, professor!nikolai is as needed. i might hit you up with college student nikolai someday tho cuz my classmates are all weird and i need that daily dose of delusion that someday, i'll meet a student as awesome and as fun as nikolai is in my head

little disclaimer to anyone reading this: dark content ahead. we dont do any of that irl it's just fiction, so if you're sensitive to prof x student shit keep scrolling. i say reader is 20-ish and papi nikolai is pushing 30 😁

random prof!nikolai headcanons ahead 🗣️

prof kolya is definitely one of the cool teachers on campus yk? the type that's loved by all of the students because of how laid back he is and how much he doesn't give a shit yk??? like "prof we didn't study for the test tomorrow can we postpone it?" "we will. i havent put the text either" 💀 that type you know?

BUT simultaneously, he can also be really strict depending on the context yk? while he's chill, he can't tolerate disrespect like, not at all. he jokes around with his students but with limits and boundaries.

clothes-wise i feel like he dresses super well 🤔 as opposed to headcanons I've seen, i dont think he dresses weird or in an eccentric way like canon nikolai is, he wears casual clothes :3 fashionable? yes. but nothing weird. he's tall, broad with really unique features (i imagine nikolai with one of them typical european noses and plump looking lips. this part is totally up to you tho)

prof kolya was a really unproblematic physics professor (yk in canon he has teleportation abilities so uh) that is until y/n took a course with him,

we're met with two cases: y/n is calm and quiet in class, y/n puts herself out there. now let's be for real, teachers love good students so the higher the grades the better the sex more you'll get attention from him (god imagine nikolai praising you😮‍💨)

now if you're quiet- OMG since he gets along well with students i feel like he'll openly joke around with students except for you (if you're quiet) he'll just talk with you in a low voice (btw i imagine classes like, small classes not amphitheaters or any of that) let me elaborate: you're in class yk he's explaining quantum physics or some shit and occasionally interacting with his students. his gaze falls on you once he's standing right in front of your desk and lets a small question slide like "is it ok?" "do you get it?" or flashing you a small smile or so 🤭 he's not mocking you or anything he's being genuine (for once) bc you're openly his favorite

and by that, and as someone who's a favorite for nearly all my professors so far the privileges i get isnt anything like grades or whatever but more like validation? im a good student i dont need their crusty dusty extra credits. one of the privileges i get is for example, during exams, the prof tells me "so, [name], we're scoring an A+ in this test too?" yk and it's genuine so nikolai i that type too.

(i leave anything sexual or suggestive for you to develop bc im really bad and awkward at that)

conclusion: he shamelessly favorites you in front of other students.

though you two would become a thing faster if reader is on the more loud type in his class: always participating, asking questions, joking around maybe.... i feel like when you have a question thats a little long to explain, he'd ask u to come to his office and what happens there is up to your imagination dear bean

will quickly become your number one emotional support throughout college 🥱 imagine not doing well in the exam and you go to his office to talk to him about it and he comforts you by [redacted]

anyways i could go on and ramble forever. i'd love to hear your dirty thoughts on this nikolai au :3 what i wrote is hella long and messy but we're mere disciples beanie, you're the writer here hehe

as usual, have a good/day night!!

I REALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH *sloppily kissing slop slop*

first of all, yeeee goodluck with college and don't die bcs i almost did 😎👉 and secondly, no let's NOT get nikolai pushing 30s. HE IS 35 ATLEAST IDC HAHAHA im gonna reply to each one headcanon bcs you deserve it girlie 💋✨

yes! he totally gives me the vibe to be laid-back at his work. he's so gonna do something like that lmao. also, despite his laid-back persona and he's always like “ehh~ just answer this easy ass quiz and i'll take it as your assignment mark”, i do think he does his job greatly. there's a time where he needs to get things done and while it doesn't seem like he's doing shit, he actually GETS. SHIT. DONE. that's why he isn't fucking fired 💀

strict prof. nikolai.... ugh *spreads legs*😝 i agree. he does have limit and i feel like he wouldn't scold people or raise his voice but certainly when he's being colder and quieter, oooh you fucked up big time

i do think he wears classic style to go to classes! i'm thinking... dark academia. and yes, he's tall and broad and so big✨ i feel like it also depends on the subject. if prof nikolai is teaching theatre or drama... those kind of things, he will wear something maximalist, if that makes sense? imagine a mad hatter-themed suit but formal. unfortunately, i can't draw for life.

physics professor hmmmm why don't he come here and expand the space of my quantum pussy😏😏

i can imagine raaaaaaa :barkbarkbark: him praising you in front of the whole class because you got quite high marks for physics ahakss😝

HMMMMMMM SOFTY :feral: i can't fucking breathe😩 yes he'd totally be loud to those who are loud with him but if you're quiet and serene, he'll be soft as fuck rrrrrrrrr imagine him noticing you not understanding something and he takes the initiative to come to your desk, teach you with the softest (yet deep) voice ever. NOT MOCKING ME TOO? woah what a green flag 💚

lmfao i can totally relate with you😭 honestly, validation is too pressuring, stressing and overwhelming for me. i hate when teachers are like “so, elie, you can score A for this right?” bih i just barely got the B-grade fym (burnt-out gifted kid be like;). anyway, i'm half-half on this. but i do think if he makes such comments, and he notices you aren't uncomfortable, he wouldn't go put his way to directly say that. maybe he just makes comment that implies he does have certain expectations on you

(i'll develop the sexual things myself *takes off his pants and develop his wood*)

conclusion: he becomes my favourite subject😝❤️

i'm honestly thinking that he prefers it if you are an active student. idk, for me, nikolai (in general) likes challenges and fun. so if you're actively questioning this or that, he'd take interest in you really quick. also, i will invite myself into his office tyvm

definitely get emotional. lmao imagine ranting about other professors with him and he just supports you

well my dirty thought is that he becomes my private tutor. HA HOW BOUT THAT HUHHH but in all honesty, i love the thought of him riling and teasing you instead of yk, playing favourite and get you alone in his office. he likes edging people and he'd surely likes it if you tease him back too ayy papi😝

[live-love-laugh-lesbian]

HIII this is probably gonna be the last ask i send as your swiftie exchange anon haha! also i dont know what timezone you are but ive scheduled it for 6am gmt for tomorrow if i remember correct skdkekdfk (but also you said quid which means pounds i think so im taking a wild guess that you are somewhat the same timezone as me haha)

yep im in uni! honestly kinda harsh kakdkekxfj ive got tests on the first week back but i suppose that's to ne expected haha! it is quite stressful but like c'est la vie yk? good luck on your exams!!

oh also im so glad youre feeling better!! i hope you feel awesome soon!

oh yeahh that makes complete sense! you dont have to show them to me if you dont want to btw but once i reveal myself and you are okay w it you can dm me! (only if you want tho no pressure at all!!)

yeahh thats so real actually! people always want what they dont have and that makes me kinda sad but also im one of those people so ajdeksjd i cant really say anything abt it akfkekdjf

yeahh hypocrisy is so linked like to everyday stuff!! and what you said makes more sense than what i ever couldve ajdjejsjfn and inflation is HORRIBLE ive witnessed price of stuff like cheese go up by so much and it appals me! and that is a ridiculous difference from your phone bill!

oohh i wish i was you id love to meet my online friends!!

yeah!! like the main problem with fast fashion isnt the cheap quality (i mean perhaps it is) but also the PEOPLEEEE WHO BARELY GET PAIDD!!

thats such a thought out and good answer!! climate change and the way politicians handle shit is so real like it NEEDSS to be addressed!! and i hope you get to see your doctors!!

and same im such a pushover like i wish i could not be but alas it is but a dreamm!! i think for me what you said is basically my answer and like people being assholes and thinking theyre funny? lile people who think its okay to make offensive jokes or say a slur bc they think theyre funny annoys me soo bad!!!!! and also people who manipulate other people like ewwww and just like horrible people in general. also thats horrible!! why does anyone think its okay to do that???

hmm... honestly rename strawberries fluffleberries and making bananas rainbow sounds like an awesome idea sjdjekdn hmm this is hard kakdkdskf maybe i would replace car honks with goose honks hehe i feel like thats such a silly answer but tbf i am but a silly goose!! what about you?

and my question to you: what are some things you are grateful for (see i say things not people bc i feel like people is a very general question ajfjrjdjf but you can tell me people too if you want!!)

thank youu!! i had an awesone time chatting with you you're lovely <3

have an awesome day!!!

-swiftie spring exchange anonnnnn

Hello! My country change timezones slightly I think based on clocks, but I think we're currently BST? I can never remember, a bit embarrassing imo XD It's cool that we might be close in time zones!!

Ah I have no exams cause I'm not in uni, but I am tutoring kids for exams so does that count? XD I hope your tests go well!!

Cheap quality sucks, but it'd improve if companies were willing to give up just a teeny tiny bit of their profits...I've become so increasingly anti company over the last like 5 years I think XD And thank you!! Honestly the "offensive is funny" type is SO annoying. I've met a few that were like "uhhh it's dark humour" and I've been like. You do not have dark humour, you just want to be rude.

I did however get a cookie once from a guy who realised that I had been upset by his stupid joke (I can't remember what exactly it was, but I think it was like...either homophobic or misogynistic. The apology was nice to get because it was unexpected. Alas at the time I was unable to eat gluten so the cookie part was awkward.) And manipulation just sucks?? I feel like people get away with it a lot because it's not obviously awful until you realise what's going on.

Silly answers are encouraged for that one!! (And always tbh) XD And honestly I would get rid of sparkling water. I feel like it's like marmite - people love it or hate it. And I hate sparkling water, I literally cannot handle the texture. And one time I accidentally got some instead of regular water. The memory haunts me. So yeah I'd wind up half the world by getting rid of it altogether and just watch the chaos XD

My final answer (also I know who you are now cause of when I logged on BUT I'm gonna answer this anyways on here) would be my cats (haha not people so they slip through...not things either but not people), the way life has turned out (it's not perfect, but I'm in a much better position than I ever expected even just like 2 years ago), and my art abilities (because I like that I can draw, and draw pretty decently, it's a fun and usually relaxing hobby!)

I had the time of my life answering questions with you, and I look forwards to hopefully talking more with you!!

[with-love-anu]

okay hellooo i'm this anon.

you said i could talk so here i am... you know, i will not talk about my hyperfixations because i think you'll understand who i am (hint: i'm a mutual of yours) and i think i dont want you to know, at least not right now. i have been wanting to send you an ask like this since a few days but it keeps slipping out my mind. i jad a pretty shitty evening today plus ihave a ptm tomorrow where i'll get to know my marks for the first school exams of 11th grade. i dont think i am very nervous (maybe bc i have convinced myself that i'm going to get horrible marks). i just cant seem to fall asleep. the past few weeks have been hard, not in the sense that they are problematic (like intrusive thoughts and the like), but that i just wanna sleep all day, i dont feel like working or attending classes i usually loved. things just seem bland. a freind of mine who was suicidal hasn't responded in about 24 hours and i'm... worried to say the least. i just hope she's alright.

but, enough about me. are you alright? do you feel okay, good even? when do you go to bed? frankly, i feel jealous of the 💀 anon ciz they are soo good at conversations. ofc it isn't my place to feel jealous but okay. i.. have been thinking about it, and can i call you my friend? it... feels kinda forward and i hope you're not offended. tell me if you feel triggered by anything I've mentioned and I'll stop. thanks for being there <3.

~ 🌔

hiiii!

it's alright with whatever you're comfortable with- i'm glad you sent this ask in ;D

I think you're dealing with a lot rn. Grade 11 is hard as it is and I cannot comprehend what it must be like to take online classes for it (or even if they're offline rn, I don't think things must be same as school before all this covid shit). Just,, take a deep breath and remember it's going to be okay. Even if you fail at certain subjects- it's alright it's normal, trust me- even tho it hurts like a bitch and parents are never the ones to understand.

I think what might help you rn is to create a study group. Maybe even of 3-4 people. If the schools are still online- make a whole discord chat room (whatever you're comfortable with) and just hold maybe voice/video study session calls. Or if it's offline, maybe you can stay for some time after school- (our school allowed that.) The more you interact with people who are going through the same thing as you, the better you'll feel. Discuss questions and stuff, what all of you are struggling with.

Another thing that helped me were yt video lectures (I listened to them at 0.5-1.5x speed to keep myself concentrated). Listen to someone that actually makes you like those subjects again- one of the major reasons (except being alone) that makes you lose interest are shitty teachers. Maybe this list would help as well.

She would be alright I'm sure :( Maybe call to check up if it becomes too much?

I'm alright yes! Just constantly in and out- since I'm free, I try to find out any and all stuff I can do. Been trying to write but somehow reader insert is not making me happy as it used to? Dk, my emotions are a mess and I think it shows in my works. givufnubuhgvijn you're great at conversing dw🤗 nah nope you my friend now🔫

I'm not triggered at all rn! take care okay? i hope you have a better day than you expected!!

[tartagliaxx]

thank you, lei. your reply rlly helped me a lot. the part where you said that you were proud of me and loved me made me cry. i haven't heard anyone say that they loved me or were proud of me since i was like 7 or 8. it never rlly bothered me bc well, fanfiction is a thing, but having a real breathing person say that was way different from a 2d character, so i just wanna say thank you, honestly. it's gonna be smth i save and look back on when i need it.

i was a 'golden child' when i was younger, i didn't have to study for anything but as i grow older, there's more stuff i don't understand, more responsibilities that i didn't have. everybody expected me to be the same kid but even as a kid, i disliked myself. i had issues with myself as a child and now that i'm 16, the problems with me just keep growing bigger and bigger until well, what was going to happen, happened.

life just sucks rn. i'm staying with my mom so i'm just trying be my usual self ig. it was even hard eating, like ik i have to eat, i can even feel my stomach rumbling but i just have no appetite and even if i do get some food in me, i just feel nauseous. it's honestly just ridiculous how i feel like i'm acting rn.

at this point, i just wanna get diagnosed with whatever problems i already know i have and get some pills to stabilise my mood bc just abt anything and everything just sets me on edge. i have legit no idea how long this period of mine is gonna go on for, and i have a 2 hour test for calculus tmr. why. literally why. there's a 50% chance i will break down and cry at the exam hall, i swear to god.

—sincerely, a vv grateful and guilty r. anon

p.s. sorry for my late (is it late? i have no concept of time rn) response, once again, thank you <33

i’m happy that i helped even if its just a little :)) i meant what i said then. i think you’re a very lovely person and i say this with confidence. i understand what you’re going through because that is literally me too. im just very lucky to have very kind professors now who acc help me whenever i stumble. i hope you’ll find people like that soon too. people who would understand and help you in trying times. i’m not sure how to comfort you bc well, i dont even comfort myself but it sucks that you’re feeling unwell and i wish time would flow faster for you. i believe in you darling so take it easy. good luck on your exams tho! i’m rooting for you but know that no matter what happens tomorrow, it’s okay. prioritize your health over it. you deserve at least that much <33

[moonlit-jeno]

(1/?) i'm sorry for the random rant (and long, idk if you'll even get all the asks, but you dont have to answer them if you don't want to. i just need to rant) ok so i'm 23 and i have no boobs, like i'm 100% flat and that never really bothered me until i was around 19, bc my mom started talking shit EVERYDAY. she kept saying "you'll look so good when you get breast implants, your boobs need to be bigger, you'll be able to wear this and that when you get bigger boobs"

(2/?) so naturally, i started to feel insecure about my body and thought i needed bigger boobs to look good. i accepted the fact that i was going to get surgery someday, but i never got the courage to actually do it, i just kept postponing it just because. then this year i just kind of... don't care anymore? like yeah, my boobs might be pretty much nonexistant and people might not think i'm "sexy" because of that, but i like them. they don't bother me anymore, i'm kind of okay with them.(3/?) now i'm going to take 2 weeks off from work and apparently my mom set everything up for this surgery WITHOUT MY CONSENT? she asked me multiple times if i wanted to get it done, and every time i said no. she still scheduled exams for tomorrow morning. she scheduled the surgery itself for next week. and i was so mad. i started crying and i made it clear this time i'm not doing anything. not the exams, not the surgery. and now she's mad at me and won't talk to me anymore.(4/?) and idk, i'm just sad. and disappointed. i'm an adult and she can't seem to accept my decisions for my own body. not only can breast implants result in a bunch of complications in the future, but i just DONT WANT IT. i only ever got insecure with myself because she started talking shit about my body. now i'm crying because of this whole situtation, i'm starting to reconsider if i should really not get anything done and i'm sad because she won't talk to me anymore. and idk what to do. 5/5) bc in the end of the day, the idea of bigger (any, actually, because mine are really, really flat) boobs still attracts me. i would love to have actual boobs lol but i hate the thought of going under anesthesia (i feel like crying just thinking about it). so yeah... i'm just really lost, can't stop crying and can't think about anything else now lmao you don't need to answer if you don't want to. and sorry again for all of this, but i just needed to get this out of my mind, i guess...

no need to apologize hun, sometimes we just need to vent and get things off of our chest! i’m so, so sorry that you’re mom has done all of those things and made you feel insecure about your body. your body is your own, and i know you said this but i wanted to say it again, but boobs of all size are great! they’re apart of you and honestly, the size of your breasts don’t equate to beauty or sex appeal. people are going to be attracted to you with or without boobs. it’s honestly horrible of her to body shame you, and scheduling a surgery without your consent, when you said no multiple times, is absolutely beyond awful in my opinion. i know it’s hard because she’s your mom, but if she’s not talking to you because you won’t get a surgery to change the body that you’re comfortable in and love, then that’s on her. give her some time, maybe try calling her in a day or two, and if she doesn’t pick up, leave a voicemail and tell her to call you when she’s ready. you’re not the one in the wrong here, and you absolutely should not have to get a surgery that you don’t want to get. im so beyond sorry that you’re going through this, sending all my love and hugs xx

[heartfucksmouth]

is life really this chaotic for everyone or is it really just the fuckin path I chose to be born into?

I think I know the answer and I just choose to pretend I dont.

hey tumblr. its Wednesday. I have a lot of phone calls to make again because my medical shit can never go smoothly. still havent heard about an MRI, so I guess I'll be calling tomorrow after therapy. have to schedule an eye exam too bc uuhhhh my right eye is getting really fucked up and I'm a little freaked out.

I scheduled my blood draw for the HEDGE study. that's kind of weird.

oh and I have a new car now. yeah. it's my nana's and it's a long story and I dont like to talk about it bc I dont enjoy "taking handouts" or receiving 'gifts' of this nature bc I dont think I'm deserving of it, even though her and my parents all agreed I should have it bc it's in better shape than my car and has better features for my comfort and I'm probably never going to be able to afford a new car again when they all die haha, idk. what's good is my insurance wont change much bc it's only one year newer than my car but has a bunch less miles on it. sigh, yeah talking about it literally makes me want to throw up bc I literally feel like I dont deserve it hahahahha this is awful to experience and um the future feels like it's starting to not exist again as much as I want it to.

anyways, my friends dog got attacked again by an unleashed dog for the second time in two months while she was "walking" it down a road in her neighborhood. I say walking bc the dog was walking but she uses an electric wheelchair for distances. I'm really fucking upset by this situation bc both times no one would help her or her dog. So my friend's dog was still on leash scared and defending herself and had turned and bit the unleashed dog on the chest bc the unleashed dog had jumped on her back. the owner of the unleashed dog actually came over and started BEATING my friend's dog with a stick and then the owner's sister joined in, screaming at my friend to get HER dog off their dog. when the dogs finally separate, they screamed at my friend for letting her dog hurt their dog.

hello.

hello. hello? HELLO?!

do any smart dog owners exist anymore? do any smart people exist anymore?

you berate a motherfucking woman in a wheelchair who is walking her damn leashed dog down a public road bc your shit ass cant CLOSE YOUR GATE or train your dog with commands?! bruh.

I will throw so many hands. I will grow more hands JUST to throw them at your face. fuck you, you dont deserve that fucking dog.

thankfully my friend's dog is okay. we video chatted and she looked much better after a bath and was in good spirits. better than the last time this happened.

anyways.... other stuff happened, like the baby bunnies that zaiyah found are still safe and growing. they should be big enough in 3 weeks to leave the nest, I guess. she is obsessed and wants to be their mom and it almost breaks my heart. she watches the nest every chance she gets.

its baby snapper season as well, I guess, which seems off to me but I'll double check. we found one and helped it make its journey towards the pond. it buried itself in the mud right near the edge which is a good hiding spot, I'd say. there were geese and other creatures hanging around. hope it has a nice and long life ahead.

this post is already all over the place so I'm just gonna end it here. I feel very exasperated about life overall and I'd like to just. not.

[futurewriter2000]

Hello Love💜 it's been a hot minute lel...how are you? I've been hella busy the past few days. Had 3 exams in one week, had to prepare for my last class trip to Rome that starts on Wednesday and I went to my friend's house and got super wasted... I didnt have school today and I dont wanna go to school tomorrow either🙄😴 now tell me about your past week. Do you have like fall holiday? Cuz I do and I'm gonna work the entire time yay. Love u bby💜💜💜

Hi 💜

Well, I'm okay and sweaty bc its so sunny here and I wore all black and walked home on foot. I'm really anxious as well bc I have so much school work to do and this friend is pressuring me to go out with her and I don't want to bc I have loads of stuff to do but if I don't go, she'll do this guilt trip on me which I hate.

Also I feel you on the exam thing bc I have loads coming up next week and the week after that. Shit is crazy tbh.

And I cant believe youre going to Rome. Thats close to my country! Its actually right next to my country but ok. I always wanted to visit Rome and one day I will. I fucking will.

My past week has been like kind of a wack. I havent done much. I went out with my best friend, I went to visit my cousins for the weekend. I had school. I finished a book. OMG YESTERDAY I BOUGHT LIKE 5 BOOKS FOR 15€! LIKE YES!

My Autumn holidays start next month last week of October and fun fact. We don't call them fall holidays-I mean we do but we also call them *drum roll please* POTATO HOLIDAYS. Why? Well thats a great question. Its actually germanic origing. Back in the good ol days kids took that week of holidays off so they could harvest the potatoes back on their farm. Theres more to the the story but you know in a nutshell it's that.

Anyways, hope you have fun on your trip to Rome. I'll wave at you from my Slovenian window.

All the love 💜 - T

[otterplusharchive]

Today is one of those days where I just feel sad. I dont have a valid reason for it, my life is pretty good actually, but I cant shake this gloomy feeling. I feel like I've been cold to my friends bc I simply cant smile and be my usual bubbly self, I feel frustrated bc I actually have an exam to study for tomorrow.. but I cant bring myself .. to enjoy things or be happy .. I'll get better, but I'm feeling down rn :(

i love you im sorry that im replying late i just got out of class but i know what you mean and its okay to feel like this... you arent a bad friend or a bad person for having a hard time.. please dont beat yourself up over feeling sad okay? sometimes we feel bad for no definable reason and its okay to express how youre feeling and to need time to rest and to recharge. i want to encourage you to reach out to your friends and talk about how youre feeling like youve reached out to me.. i believe in you and i hope that things are going to get easier for you soon, please be kind and gentle with yourself ok?

[365-betterdays]

aug 31, 2022 7:24pm

i'm tired cos i've done a lot this week !! let's assess how things have been!

we're finally done with some exams last and this week whoopie congrats me!! ^^ i actually had mid scores (which is BIG for me honestly!) i passed, so that's amazing! next week we'll have more so yeah.

i may or may not be getting a tutor. that's new to me. do i feel like it'll help? yes. will it be a really good advantage and possibly a turning point of being "mid" to excellent? definitely. we'll see!! it def depends. i can manage now but i also want to ace 'em tests!

i talked to a couple of my classmates and hanged out w them a bit more, it's nice to have em around. i got to know them a bit better this week, than i've known them the past weeks. they're all super kind! my heart feels happy :)

they've invited us to drink this weekend so woahhh!! IDK IF THIS IS A GOOD THING COS I REALLY SAID I WOULD NEVER TOUCH ALCOHOL IN MY LIFE AGAIN!! but then again, i'm still..only.. just 18. i think that's too young to be saying "no" esp that i haven't drank with people i can actually call my friends now D:

i've told someone already about my past illness so yeah. that sucks, but also, i'm proud that i'm now comfy and content enough that i can tell people about it!! and that i'm okay now, no lies included ofc

WE ACED THE FREAKIN BUWAN NG WIKA SHIT!! BROOO legit like i didn't expect us to do so well. gerah and the rest of the choreographers did great teaching us given the limited time we had <3

tomorrow i'll be joining the sack race thing. bro. i will for sure die. but it'll also be fun so tangina bahala na HAHAHAHA

i found some peeps as weird as me (heart is happy)

i finally- FINALLY- got to cabuyao for the first time in like forever. i spent a lot more money than i should have bc nag gala aq pero tangina, worth it yung peace of mind. i'm ready to let all of it goo :)

i noticed that most of my panic attacks & sadness is really bc i think too much- parang when i don't think, that's when i'm the happiest talaga. ig i should just go with the flow and think parin but not too much lang talaga.

i am skinnier now. pero kulang pa talaga!! hay!!! i lost 15kg pero i need 20 moree!! manifesting!! i will workout within the weekend (hopefully) i'll let the week days pass muna cos i still have sum physical activities to attend to *mixed emotions*

slr, wow akala mo may kachat HAHAHA i walk like a lot more na!! april to december 2020 > 427 steps. aug to december 2021 > 1,127 steps. jan to june 2022 > 1,097 steps. july to august > 2,044 steps. PROGRESS BITCH!!

me, rus, thalia and jen ran into the rain today. talk abt feeling ALIVE DHFGKDSFJDJKFW I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY MAKE ME HAPPY

i still have to review for exams next week so yeah!! BUT I GOT THIS DONT WORRY!!! aaa pwede nga pala me magpuyat today cos duh 12pm pasok hehehe yay!!

well, that's pretty much all i can say for now. i have a lot honestly but i got lazy na hehe, days have been good! god IS GOOD! thank u, G!

[letterstotheflre]

tina !!! i am so sorry but please dont get too discouraged, this same thing happened to me twice last year when i had my oral finals (i got 1/10 and 3/10) and i also got really nervous and couldn't talk, just so you know this happens to everyone and we are all very proud of u still !!! u will have many more opportunities lovely <3 🫀

hi lovely, this is very sweet. even though a part of me is okay with it bc i knew how it would go, the other is still a bit ashamed and sad </3 like yes i'm making some jokes about it and all that but i'm still sad about it (like, i'm crying as i type this after complaining and making jokes about the experience w my mom yk?) anyway, i'm giving myself today to feel the disappointment and be sad bc tomorrow i have to start preparing for 2 more exams 0.0

[sebyuns]

I'm sorry that you fought with your mum💞 )): my day was okay!! i was ill this morning bc i was drinking at my friend's house yesterday but i've been watching got7 n monsta x videos for most of the day n now i'm trying to finish writing a chapter of my fanfic ahshsj. i have a college taster day tomorrow n i'm also applying for a job but i can already feel myself getting anxious about both of them ahhhhh!!1!1! but yes, my exams finished a week ago tomorrow!! I get the results on august 24th👀👀

ah dont worry its alright now :c (i didnt see this ask?? asndka im sorry bby) iM GLAD UR EXAMS R OVER !!! also ? what job r u applying for 👀👀👀 

ALSo talking of monsta x iLL PROBABLY GO TO THEIR CONCERT (whn i get tickets rip) IN BERLIN AND IM EXCITED

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Hello! I'm going to start answering the old ask first and then the one about the show, okay? Last week was busy? Because of Mother's Day? Or something else? I dont know if i have to cheer you up saying "dont worry, this week everything is going to go back to normal", or if i shouldnt because that will mean you'll get bored at work🙊 Did you brought the ballons finally? (1)

HIIII LOVE!!!! Ufffff, I didn’t realized Mother’s Day meant May was starting,jajajaja. May is our August. We have A LOT of places to go to make candy bars, do you know what it is? Well, we put it on communions, weddings… and we have a couple every weekend. So we make the things we put on the bar during the week. It’s a lot of work for all of us, but it’s the month we make the most money,jajajaja, so 🤷🏻‍♀️.I FORGOT the balloons 🤦🏻‍♀️😔. I totally did. I didn’t think about them till a bit before the show started, lol. It would have been so cool, but I totally forgot.  

U didnt go to a lot of concerts? Dont say that! I’ve only gone to 2/3 shows. Not much. & much less this days, with so many festivals. Oh, yeah. Ed came some years ago, but i was too young. Uh, i feel u, the sale of the tickets was crazy. Like, we were supposed to go to see him in Mdd, and we ended up in Bcn, & with another kind of ticket, not the one we had agreed to buy. But totally worth it!! I know he has a reputation for being tedious and repetitive, but his sound live is not like that. (2)

Oh, there are so many concert and festivals these days. I guess I never was a kid to ask my parents for a lot of things, and I never really had someone who I liked enough to ask to go concerts,so 🤷🏻‍♀️. But I love concerts. The ambient… well, I already told you,jajaja. It feels like you’re around your people, or at least to me, bc I don’t know anyone in real life who likes the same music as I. And I loved it the time in the line,jajja. It was like we were camping. I don’t know, jajaja, it felt right. Ed has that reputation? I dididnt know about it. I’ve see a couple of videos, and I found it so difficult what he does,jajja, with the guitar and the pedal he uses to record his voice and all that.

HAHAHAHA. I am laughing because now you have not only managed to find a Larrie at Harrys’s show, but also at Niall’s!! Either there’s many of us, or you are a Larrie Magnet😂 How can i do the same?? Show me. She keeps up because i have tumble, and her bffs also have tumblr and twitter and they share the news on the groupchat. I mean, she doesnt know everything (no one does) but we tell her the important things.(3)

Jajajajajja, I think I’m s larrie-magnet,🤣🤣🤣. Hey, you have your own larrie-pal at home, what more do you need??? Jajaja. (I have my own anti at home, so…). You tell her important things??? I hope you’ve tell her about Louis last night!!  Jajajja mymy, did you see him??? I missed him so much. He looked so good. And he’s so good. Ay, I could cry,bc he deserves a lot better from everyone, from life… You know “hay gente que nace con estrella, y gente que nace estrellada”? Well, I always think that about Louis. He never gets it right. But I really hope the future holds only good things for him. :/Well, your sister and her friends sound more organized than me, jajajajjaja. I’m now in a group chat, ajajaja, we’ll see how that works, or if I have Togo out bc they talk too much,jajajaja (I’m old, my phone ringing too much, makes me cranky🤣🤣🤣🤣👵🏻)

Yes, men suits tend to be more boring. Harry need to do something, but at the same time, dont. Harry + red carpets + cool suits + HQ pictures = my dead. Oh wow. You really are half-witch. JAJAJAJAA. Me as your sister trying to take profit of your hability. Isnt she smart?😂😂 did you really guess the birth of the little girl? How? (Can you guess the end of BG too? Pls end it). Oh! Okay, i get it now. He sounds pretty special then. (4)

Jajjaja jajajja, that’s true (I sometimes say things that louis (mostly) has said, jajaja, and that’s true is his response to Harry’s “the wind make nice waves”, jajajja, so read it with Louis’ voice😝). See?i almost had a heart attack yesterday when I saw Louis in a suit,jajajja.Well, she’s always looking at ways to make money of everything,jajja (no she doesn’t, but she does it more than me). I don’t know how,jajaja, we were making a “porra” and I thought that+and that+and that… it was more a guess, than a prediction, jejejeje. And I can’t control my predictions, they usually happen in my dreams. I wish I could end it. I’ve been wishing for it to end blowing my birthday candles for years, jajaja (and I can’t believe it’s been years 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Gay parade? JAJAJAJA. Listen, but why? Why would u take a cake to a parade? Do ppl usually do that? I’ve never seen it. Uuuh. Yes. Of course we are queer because its trendy, thats what we, dumb&young people do. Of couse. Being hated because of that is so cool!! I hate that logic. Uh. Not all changes are bad, and just bcs you dont see LGTB+ people doesnt mean they dont exist. I’m so sorry you had to stand that while you couldnt even yell at him! And you cake didnt deserve that insult either. (5)

Yeah, I don’t know his logic, but I guess he doesn’t use logic that much when he says things like that. And yeah, I mean, if you’ve never been hated for something like that, it can be hard to imagine. But also, I hate people who doesn’t care about their surroundings, y'know. I might never felt hated because my color skin (I’m white), but I know dark-skinned people suffer for it. So I’ll attend at whatever they say. And if I can make something to alleviate their pain or help them, I try to do it, y'know. But I can’t with people who only knows their own reality and doesn’t care to learn about the rest. (I don’t know if I’m making any sense bc I’ve been writing this sentence for a couple of hours,lol)

Oh no. She wasnt kind. It was meant to show me that she thinks i am to annoying and political, but i dont mind. It is what it is. What i found sad is that it wasnt even a boy who said that but a girl, but well. Whatever. Oh nono. Dont worry. I was just complaining because thats what i live for. I enjoy learning, but not this way. Anyway, it’s just one month and then summer!! I dont know if i will be working or not, but either way, it’s a great perspective. (6)

I feel like I have to say hi again, lol. I started writing yesterday (Tuesday) in the morning and now is Wednesday night 😒. May is so busy at the shop. And to add to that, today at 8am my cousin’s mom called me because he had woke up at 5am. He has a sleeping disorder, and sometimes he wakes up at 4-5am and he doesn’t go back to sleep. And I’m there for those days (bc the parents has to go to work, obviously). Anyway, I have to answer you now bc tomorrow will be busy too. I have to go to the shop to help my sister, bc we have TOO much to do.

Well, she doesn’t sound very kind. And I don’t know how good of a friend she can be if she says those things to you. And yes, I agree. I don’t like when people thinks like that, but when is a woman… I can’t. It’s like when some women say that “I’m sure she provoked him” when a girl is abused or raped. 😡😡😡.i, than am all for women solidarity, can’t comprehend how women can be “machista” (I can’t find the world in English?).And yeah, I’m the same. I love learning things, but I don’t like to be graded,jajajja. And, a free summer to go on vacation, or just rest, sounds amazing. But also, the money you can make working, sounds amazing, too,jajajjaja. Some people work for a month, and then enjoy the rest 🤷🏻‍♀️.

YEES. I SAW THE PICS. HE WAS SO CUUYTE. AND SMILING. Tought i feel bad because there was a lot of people around him and i dont like it. It gaves me the impression that people treat them as shiw monkeys :(. But anyway, i saw him!! 😍😍😍 Yep. I saw that theories too. Idk anything, but if that’s what he is doing, then i’ll wait. Of course i will. Did fhey really put For You in Pasapalabra? JAJAJAJA. He is trudly successing in life😂 Que nivel! (I sound ironic but I’m really happy internally). (7)

Awwwww, did you see him at that award show??? He is such a good person?? I hate that media doesn’t focus on that side of him. He’s kind, lovely, good amazing hugs, did you see how he kept rubbing her shoulder to keep her calm???? OMG! And,yeah, I hate that there’s always the same people around him, like he was a zoo animal.Yeah, I don’t watch Pasapalabra, but I got to watch it for a moment one day, and they have like this musical minute? And they played For You. I told my brother, and he told me that they play the same song every day for a week or more. So, I’m glad for Liam. He has a very good team behind him.

Surgery? Okay okay. Then i’m not asking, but i’m sending you luck and hugs!!! 🍀💕 I just saw that you did tell me about your irish nails. I must have not read that that day. Ups, sorry. I have finals, yes. I start tomorrow and i finish (if i pass everything at first try) around the 10th of June. I just have to suffer for a few weeks more.🤷 Thanks for asking!! (8)

Thanks love. I haven’t told anyone. Not even my friends know about it yet.

Ohhhhh, you’re in the middle of your exams. I really really wish you the best. That everything goes well, and you stay calm. And I hope you pass everything at your first try, so your summer is a bit longer. 😚😚