#i have multiple reasons for this agenda and i will not be letting them go
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Danny laid across his throne, legs planted across the left arm of the ornate chair and back pressed uncomfortably against the right.
"Listen," Danny started, letting his head flop to the side as he glared at a hovering Observant. "This meeting has wasted enough of my time. You all have been arguing for hours and that's without Clockwork slowing things down."
"Your Majesty, this is a matter of great importance. Belial means to overthrow and rule my-our world!"
"I am distinctly aware aware of that," Ancients, Danny couldn't wait to go home and rid himself of the formal speech he'd had to adopt in order to be taken seriously. Well, as seriously as he cared to be taken when sprawled across his throne instead of sitting on it intimidatingly or something. He slowly placed his gaze on the suddenly still demon sitting across from him. "Yet you've proposed fifteen different plans that were all unviable for whatever reasons you've cooked up. Your conclusion is that I must step in. Does your world not have heroes to take care of it?"
The demon- another lord of hell from this Belial’s universe- fell silent.
“Ah. But if they do, they would also take care of you.”
“No- no, that’s not-”
Danny allowed his voice to drop to the artic freeze he knew his core was capable of. "I opened these these doors to allow all of you to present me with reasonable concerns regarding your own universes and realms. What is not on the table for discussion is your petty politics. Do you think I am unaware of your intentions in tattling to me? That I do not know you are trying to use me to further your own position?"
"Your Majesty, I-" The demon growled out, fear slowly coating its expression.
"It no longer amuses me. You think that I am young and easy to manipulate." Danny froze the demon to its chair. It tried to break free, but Danny isn't the High King of the Infinite Realms for nothing. "Bring to me a miserable problem like this ever again, one that could be easily solved if you used even a smidgen of your intelligence, and you will find exactly how I tore Pariah Dark from his throne."
Not that Danny knew how he did it either, he just did it.
"Yes, Your Majesty. My-my apologies."
The room is dead (Danny patted himself on the back for the pun) silent. Some of the Ancients looked bored, like Clockwork who knew Danny would never hurt them, but everyone else looked close to crying. He held eye contact with the demon until it looked away.
When Danny settled back into the throne and allowed his ice to dissipate, the room let out a collective sigh of relief.
"The next item on the agenda is another demon, by the name of Trigon." Clockwork announced, the large piece of paper comically huge next to his currently toddler-like body.
"Another?"
He flicked an amused look at the previous demon, who kept his trap firmly shut.
"He is attempting to take over multiple worlds in an attempt to conquer the universe. I had thought you would be interested in this one, Your Majesty, as he plans to begin with Earth 135."
Danny stilled. That was his Earth. His haunt.
"Does he know of the Realms?"
"Vaguely, I believe."
"Then he should know the rules. I will wait to see if my Earth's heroes are capable to step to the task."
Danny would be a hypocrite if he doesn’t let the heroes of his Earth try first, even if he is one of those heroes.
"Of course," Clockwork grinned at him, fully aware of the shit Danny's about to stir back home. Ah, the wonders of being able to influence the time stream. Perhaps the young Ghost King will finally get some friends, and maybe get those pesky speedsters to stop making his jobs so hard. Cujo yipped at Danny as the King begrudgingly moved onto the next topic.
——
Raven shuddered as she watched the footage of her "brothers" laughing while steering their human "meatbags" around. She turned back to the giant circle of donated blood and herb filled candles.
“This is a nuclear option, don’t you think?” Green Arrow mumbled, clearly not against it by the half hearted way he’d said it. The Star City billionaire nursed his cracked ribs.
“No,” she floated over to where Zatanna and Constantine kneeled, trying to see if they needed help with the inscriptions. “Trigon is coming soon, and my brothers will no doubt find their way here in a moment. We are out of time.”
“Yeah. Plus, we don’t want Raven to be turned into a portal.” Garfield piped up, switching animal forms rapidly.
“No one dies.” Red Robin muttered. His wrist computer was open, monitoring the surroundings of the open field they found themselves uneasily occupying. Batman grunted in affirmation, eyeing the tree line. Every hero except the magical ones were on look out, preparing themselves for one more battle against the two demons that were trying to take Raven and force her into becoming a portal.
“Hey guys, we might want to hurrythisupbecausethey’re kind of close!” Impulse slammed into the room.
“Done.” Zatanna got up, motioning for everyone to step back. In Superman’s case, he floated back.
“Too bad you won’t get to use it,” a voice drawled, dripping with malice and the screams of a thousand souls.
“Come now, little sister. Why fight fate? Be grateful father has deigned to spare you. If not for your dirty blood being useful, you would be dead, little sister. Give up, before our patience runs out alongside the lives of your little pets.” Another, mocking, voice gleefully rumbled.
Raven would rather gouge out her own heart than to claim these two as any type of family.
“You won’t touch them.” Raven snarled, powers rising even as the marks on her body burned a painful red.
“Buy us some time!”
With that, the group of beaten and battered heroes rose to clash against just two demons, for a chance to save their world.
——
The Circle crackled. Danny felt a tug on his core. He followed the thread of the summoning. Oh. It was his haunt. Earth 135. Hm. It tasted of blood. Desperation? A hint of anticipation. Oh, an overload of fear. Could use some more hope, but Danny understood that it was rather hard to season these kinds of summonings with hope.
“Stop.” Danny commanded, straightening in his chair.
“Sire, we have more-”
“There is an issue with my haunt,” with that, he followed the summons.
——
“Ugh,” was the first thing everybody on the frozen battlefield heard. The demons had smacked away many of the heroes, but they all turned as one when the circle lit up a bright green. “Why do you people always use blood? I’m dead, I don’t need any more iron!”
A boy
Raven’s eldest brother let out a hideous rumble. “You fools tried to summon the king, and you got a dead boy. And now, you’ve doomed another.”
Constantine looked resigned, and regretful. “I am so, so sorry,” he whispered. It was just a kid. John might be a lot of things, but even he found summoning dead kids for demons to devour was just a step too far. “Shite, we got the wrong fucking-”
“Hey, man, that’s rude,” the boy snapped back, waving John off.
“Brother, kill the whelp.”
“I vote on not killing the whelp. Not killing at all, really,” the boy stepped out of the massive blood circle, wrinkling his nose at the drying stains.
“This is not one of your pesky democracies, fool.”
In response, the demons lunged at him, ignoring the screams of the surrounding heroes as they shoved their human arms through the boy’s stomach.
“So,” the boy continues, “I heard your dad was after my haunt?”
“Your haunt, whelp? This earth shall be his! And through him, ours!” Raven slammed against the demons with her power, shadows enlarging and tossing them away from the unharmed… ghost boy?
“Is it?”
——
Wow, these demons are so rude. Normally, it’d be a breath of fresh air compared to the stuffy halls of his throne room. But since they’re attacking his haunt…
“Thanks. You’re… Raven, right?”
Raven nodded, arms outstretched in concentration as she held her brothers back.
“You have to go. We’re- we’re sorry you got pulled into this, but it’s not safe here.”
“Eh. It’s cool. You don’t have to do that anymore, by the way.” Danny stepped forward once more, green skin shifting and gliding as everything about him sharpened. He flew at the demons piloting the human shells, catching them around the necks and dragging the demons out of their stolen bodies. The threw them even further away as he floated in the air, a beacon of green and white. Raven thought it looked like hope.
“My name is Phantom, the High King of the Infinite Realms,” let it be known that Danny always had an eye for dramatic entrances. He shifted into something more off, more eldritch, more kingly. The crown flared to life above his head. “You have invaded my haunt. You have challenged me. What do you plead?”
“You’re not-” they said.
“Wrong answer,” Danny flew at them once more, body contorting into something undeniably terrorizing, his maw unhinging and crunching down on the demons with a sound that made the present heroes cringe.
“Ugh,” Danny grunted, turning back and floating peacefully to the group of heroes- Tucker and Sam would be so stoked he met Wonder Woman and Batman!- and chewed rapidly. He shifted back into his normal form. “Eating demons always leaves me with indigestion. And their bones get everywhere up in my teeth!” Danny pulled out a giant femur looking bone from his mouth, despite it not logically fitting in there.
“Right. No eating demons, solid life advice.” Red Robin said.
“Right? So, you’re Raven! It’s nice to meet you! Think you can summon your dear ol’ dad for me?”
“But we summoned you to stop Trigon, not help him come here.” Superman said, frowning.
“One! That summoning circle is wack. Those things you piled up as offerings? Mid. Also, if you thought you could control me with those terribly written spells, you’re dead wrong. And yes, I am making puns about death.” Danny jabs an aggressive finger towards the shabby circle.
“Have you considered that maybe not every being that can be summoned wants a shit ton of useless blood? Like what if I wanted food? And two, how am I supposed to beat up Trigon if he’s still stuck in the prison realm?”
“I have a cup of coffee,” Nightwing offered. “Kid Flash could probably get you food, right?”
“Yep, surethinganythingyouwantyourMajesty.”
“You wouldn’t catch me alive accepting food from a speedster. You people fuck up the timelines so much,” Danny grumbled, crunching on the last of Raven’s brothers. Raven thought she should probably sit down.
“But you’re dead.” Batman said, something about his voice catching the sharp attention of his protégés who all started making cutting motions at him.
“Fair,” Danny pointed at him, grinning. “I’ll take two pizza and Nightwing’s coffee as payment for taking care of your little demon overlord problem. Raven, summon your dad.”
——
Didn’t much like the characterization of this piece but it’s been in my drafts for a while and I needed it out
#ghost king danny#danny fenton#danny phantom#batman#bruce wayne#justice league#summoning ritual#gone right#dcxdp#dpxdc#Batman’s instant adoption tendencies#I wanted to write more heroes but tbh they’re a lot of work#red Robin#raven teen titans#nightwing#tim drake#dick grayson#bamf danny phantom#dc impulse#kid flash#tbh I have trouble with the speedsters#I love them#but they mess up the timelines like crazy#clockwork#this was written listening to the original teen titans theme song#bc it was my goddamn childhood ok#beast boy#garfield something something
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ᝰ. RIIZE and their favorite body part to kiss !
PAIRING: riize x reader
GENRE: fluff, suggestive (?)
WARNINGS: maybe a lil suggestive if u squint and tilt ur head a lil to the side
ᡣ𐭩 SHOTARO — NOSE
— shotaro has thought it through many times but he can't seem to find an answer. he doesn't know why he loves kissing your nose so much. yet he can't help but find himself always leaning forward to quickly planting a kiss on your nose. maybe it's the way you immediately scrunch up your nose. or maybe it's the way you giggle at the feeling of his lips softly kissing your nose. or maybe it's the way you stare back up at him with complete love and admiration before planting a small kiss on his lips. but one thing for certain is he’s not going to stop himself from planting random kisses on your nose any time soon.
ᡣ𐭩 EUNSEOK — SHOULDERS
— eunseok, god eunseok is obessed with your shoulders. it doesn't matter if you're wearing a t-shirt covering them or if the shirt your wearing is sleeveless; he will, throughout the day, lean down at least once to place a quick kiss on one of your shoulders. his personal favorite though is when you're wearing one of his shirts. he especially loves when the collar of his shirt falls slightly since it fits a little big on you and exposes one of your shoulders. he can't help but pull you in for a hug and bend down to pepper your shoulder with small kisses. sometimes, if he's in a playful mood, he'll lightly bite your shoulder and soon laugh afterwards when he feels you squirm in his hold while trying to push him away from you.
ᡣ𐭩 SUNGCHAN — FOREHEAD
— sungchan LOVES kissing your forehead. sungchan won't admit it but loves the fact that he's taller than you because it causes you to have to look up at him. for some reason alone that really has him go crazy. it doesn't matter what y'all are doing, sungchan will kiss your forehead; not once, not twice, but multiple times throughout the day. you could be asking him a simple question, he'll answer and right after he'll bend down to place a kiss on your forehead. you two could be arguing and he would stop mid argument, sigh and place a kiss on your forehead before apologizing to you and taking the fault. his reasoning? that you simply look too precious from his angle and he just HAS to kiss your forehead.
ᡣ𐭩 WONBIN — NECK
— wonbin always ends up resting his head on your shoulders. especially at the end of his days. he just has to end his day in your arms so he can rest his head on your shoulder and kiss your neck. it's his favorite thing to do, he often finds himself even counting down the hours before he can go home and immediately pull you in a tight hug. he will immediately start relaxing in your arms before letting out a small sigh in satisfaction. and with his head resting on your shoulders, he tends to swiftly lean forward a little to place a small kiss on your neck. yes, often times he gets carried away and ends up sucking on your skin a little more than he should but he tells himself and you that that's a problem for tomorrow.
ᡣ𐭩 SEUNGHAN — CHEEKS
— i don't care. i'm not going to hear it! i'm on the seunghan is whipped agenda and nobody can stop me. seunghan loves kissing your cheek. ESPECIALLY when you're not looking at him. when you’re looking away from him, distracted, doing something else that’s when he kisses your cheek. he just stares from the side in couple awe, admiring your features before he softly smiles and leans forward to give your cheek a small peck. his cheek kisses always catch you off guard and seunghan knows this too and because of that, he loves giving your cheeks kisses even more. he especially loves seeing you get all shy and avoid eye contact to try and calm yourself down. your reaction causes him to let out a small laugh before placing another kiss on your other cheek to watch you grow even more flustered.
ᡣ𐭩 SOHEE — LIPS
— sohee is a complete sucker for your lips. he hates to admit it but every time you talk to him, his eyes slowly start drifting to your lips. you could be ranting, simply talking to him or asking him a question and he will be eyeing your mouth the whole time. he tries being discreet about it sometimes but other times he really can't help it. like yes, he's 100% listening to you because he loves you and what you're saying is important to him but god he wants to kiss you so bad. it's even worse when you pout at him. that's when he can't hold himself back and he WILL kiss your lips. his excuse is always that he's just trying to kiss your pout away but in reality he just wanted to feel your lips against his.
ᡣ𐭩 ANTON — HANDS / KNUCKLES
—one thing about anton, he's always holding your hand. he loves holding your hand and caressing it with his thumb. it doesn't matter if you two are walking around or inside watching a movie; your hands will be interlocked. they have to be. he doesn't know when exactly it started but because of his obsession with wanting to hold your hand, he found himself wanting to kiss it. one day the intrusive thoughts won and without giving it a second thought, he brought your hand to his lips and placed a small gentle kiss on the back of your hand. ever since then, he gives your hand small kisses all the time. sometimes when he's feeling a little bit more romantic, he finds himself placing small delicate kisses on each of your knuckles before smiling fondly at you and leaning forward to kiss your lips.
#riize fluff#riize imagine#riize headcanons#riize scenario#riize imagines#riize scenarios#shotaro imagines#riize x reader#riize reaction#sungchan imagine#anton imagine#sohee imagine#seunghan imagine#shotaro imagine#wonbin imagine#eunseok imagine#riize
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🚨🚨AWFUL HORRIFIC NEWS🚨🚨
Hey everyone, some news update and a call to action :( Yes, KOSA is most likely going to be moving again possibly. Please read the entire message and take action.
WHAT TO DO?:
(YES YOU CAN CALL IF YOURE A MINOR)
1) Call House leadership everyday.
Steve Scalise (R), Mike Johnson (R), and Hakeem Jeffries (D). House leadership (GOP) sounds like they're somewhat in disapproval. Use their reasonings. There is a tailored call script SPECIFICALLY FOR REPUBLICANS in our call script here:
2) Call House Energy and Commerce Committee.
Click their names here:
and their phone numbers should be present. Split amongst yourselves which ones to call because there's a lot of members. If you have time, call all. If not, pick a few and call.
More noise = better.
⭐ See end for extra resources and tips.
1) Movement in the House. There will be a full committee markup next Wednesday at 10 am. The list of bills they will markup hasn't been finalized but KOSA is most likely to show up.
SOURCE:
2) 42 State Attorney Generals signed a letter in support of action on social media harms, including passing KOSA
SOURCE:
3) Schumer has been pushing for a vote on this all last week
⭐ Pretend you are a member of the GOP when calling them. Use their concerns. They are worried about pro-life, christian messages being censored off the internet. Pretend you are concerned about this as well. Say things like "this will give Biden a win and then they will use this bill to push their LGBT agenda on the rest of us!"
CALL SCRIPT FOR GOP:
I am urging you to VOTE NO on KOSA, the Kid’s Online Safety Act. This is a dangerous bill that will harm children. Many news organizations have reported that this bill actively harms kids by exposing their private data to strangers under the guise of protecting them. We need to hold Big Tech accountable, but KOSA is not the solution.
The bill let any state attorney general and the FTC to sue any website for “harmful” content. Do we really want blue state lawyers deciding what can and can’t be allowed online? Big Tech is already censoring us. That’s why they support KOSA. This is massive government overreach. We need a bill that actually protects children by creating better security measures instead of bringing about more censorship.
Multiple experts agree this bill pushes age verification, even with the new language. KOSA hands more private data of children to third party companies, which would put them in further danger. How is this protecting children’s privacy? What parent would want their child’s private data in the hands of strangers like this? KOSA is actively putting kids in danger. Do NOT support this bill. Thank you.
CALL SCRIPT FOR DEMS:
I am urging you to VOTE NO on KOSA. Nearly 200 human rights and LGBT organizations total came out in an open letter opposing it. The ACLU is against it. Hundreds of thousands of Gen Z, who actually live online, are against it. We know the harms of social media, and we know this is not the solution. The new language does NOT meet any concerns brought up, in fact many organizations were ignored. Major news have reported that this bill actively harms kids. We do not want this.
The rewritten bill would still allow any state attorney general, and now the FTC, to sue any website for “harmful” content. When you have Republicans calling anything LGBT “sexual exploitation” or anything about race “CRT” to successfully ban books and teachers, then they will use any justification to censor the internet. The Missouri attorney general used “mental health” successfully to ban gender-affirming care with backed up research. Suicide rates will skyrocket for marginalized youth with this bill restricting content.
Multiple experts agree this bill pushes age verification, even with the new language. KOSA hands more private data of children to third party companies. Furthermore, updated language threatens encryption the same way the Earn It Act does. How is this protecting children’s privacy? KOSA actively harms kids. Do NOT support this bill. Thank you.

friendly reminder!! ⬆️
#kosa#stop kosa#fuck kosa#trump vs kamala#anti censorship#gravity falls#art#aesthetic#vocaloid#kaito shion#oc#catgirl#gay rights#black lgbt#lgbtq rights#lgbtqia#trans rights#gay#trans#transgender#pansexual#bisexual#luka megurine#hastune miku#brazilian miku
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Down Bad 💜 PJM (Part 1)
Kissing you was not on the agenda, and it threw him off. How the fuck was he supposed to let go of you now?
PAIRING: Vampire!Jimin x human(f)reader
SUMMARY: You find the cure to your clumsiness in becoming Jimin’s dance partner. But twirling in his arms risks more than just your heart, especially after he bites you.
WORD COUNT: 18.7k (Total: 31.5 k)
GENRE: Soulmates AU, angst, smut
RATING: R (explicit)
WARNINGS: typical vampire-related warnings (blood, biting, scents, feral moments), arguing, fighting, graphic depictions of cuts, bites, and wounds (including blood), angst, multiple smut scenes (unprotected sex), including praise kink, oral (f rec), penetrative sex, pleading, bit of a dom!Jimin
A.N. Here we have it, my Christmas gift this year. For some reason, I've been... unexpectedly insecure about my writing, so this story was somewhat... more difficult to perfect than usual. I'd like to thank @downbad4yoongi, @pars-ley, @colormepurplex2 and @hisunshiine for working through it with me and helping me reach this final version - by far the most fleshed-out and intriguing, even if it became huge. Also thank you to @itaeewon for the beautiful banner! This is my entry in the upcoming @bangtanwritershq 4th Quarter Writing Event: Monster Mash!
Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad | Scroll my stories on Tumblr | Schedule and WIPs
“Hey! Good to see you!”
You smiled at Jung Hoseok and adjusted the strap of your gym bag on your shoulder with a small smile. His pearly whites showed a gorgeous smile that once wouldn’t have had you wondering how he hid his nature so well.
“He’s already here in the backroom with a few other contestants,” Hoseok continued as he circled the reception counter of his gym to reach you. “Do you need help with anything? Need to change?”
“Changed at home,” you replied quietly, motioning the hands still inside the pockets of your closed coat. It was freezing outside due to the snow, and you still didn’t have the guts to open it up. Your toes were blueish from the chill, and you wiggled them a little; maybe you shouldn’t have put on your open-toed heels before coming.
“Alright, good.” He nodded affably before raising his hand in the direction of the corridor you knew so well. Still, he walked side by side with you, intending to escort you. “How was your Christmas?”
You told him about your grandmother’s wailing, entirely compensated by her delicious cooking, and how you helped your sister with your baby nephew. “He just looks at me with such wide eyes, and I instantly feel like a fraud, you know?”
You huffed, a bit discouraged, as Hoseok laughed and pushed the door open.
“There she is.” Taehyung grinned, skipping in your direction. He was the image of tall perfection, hiding a soft teddy bear personality underneath his dazzling eyes and handsome features. Some were just born like this, and you doubted his nature was the only reason for it. “I thought you might get cold feet.”
“My feet are pretty cold,” you mumbled, looking down, and he chuckled, eying Hoseok, who was smiling too.
“Are you ready?”
Taehyung towered over you as he stood by your side and waved Hoseok away, and the strain on your neck from looking up reminded you of how this was supposed to be different. How you had been excited about this moment for a year; trained, planned, dreamt of it… Only for it to turn out so different.
Only for that uncomfortable strain to make you grimace slightly and press your fingers into the back of your neck. “Yeah, let’s warm up.”
You let him guide you across the room, then put your bag down and draped your coat over a chair, revealing your red, sparkling dress that ended just above your knee. You had to rub your arms for some warmth, and Taehyung waited for you without touching you, and you appreciated him for it. You knew he wouldn’t do anything inappropriate, but…
You sighed and raised your arms, signaling you were ready, and he grabbed your hand. He spun you a few times to loosen you up, then pulled you closer to start what you instinctively assumed were a few of your Cha-cha-cha choreography moves.
It wasn’t enough to pull your thoughts away from the pit they invariably fell back into. Taehyung wasn’t the problem; he had always been respectful and treated you with utmost care. Jimin picked him after everything that happened, and you trusted his judgement. After all, Jimin—
You were twirled across the dance floor, spinning beautifully with your delicate arms floating at your sides as you were supposed to, but then you gasped. Your heels didn't find purchase on the floating wood floor; you were spinning too fast. You couldn’t discern Taehyung in the blur around you nor call out to him, overwhelmed as you were. Your arms flailed, further taking you off course, and suddenly, a smear of a reflection caught your eye right before your right side collided with an immovable object. Whatever you smashed into sent you sprawling on the floor in an unceremonious heap.
You groaned and closed your eyes to avoid the wave of nausea that threatened to sweep over you, then felt a few shattered glass pieces falling from above you like a short drizzle. For a second, you were too dazed to comprehend what just happened. But then you winced and sat up, feeling countless prickling sensations all over your leg, arm, shoulder, and even your cheek.
You winced as something sharp dug into your skin, and you turned your palm up. Dusting off whatever debris and mirror glass had bothered you there made you aware of the big glass shard nestled into your arm's soft flesh.
Someone kneeled beside you, but you didn’t hear them. Your first instinct was to remove the foreign body from your arm, and as the glass clinked on the floor, you gasped.
“Shit!” You were surprised, pressing your palm to your arm to stop the torrent of dark crimson blood.
It dripped between your fingers, and you looked up, searching for help, but what you found cooled you to the bone. Taehyung had shifted back, still on his knees, and one look into his eyes told you everything you needed to know before your eyes drifted across the other contestants. Some were the same as him, hence why they were frozen, unnaturally static as they observed you.
Your eyes turned back to Taehyung; he winced, and that was good enough for you.
You jumped to your feet with as much speed as you could muster, regardless of pain, and stormed out of there without bothering to look back. Sounds of struggle still reached your ears before the heavy doors closed behind you, but you kept running down the hallway. People would stop to look at you; some were frozen inside their classes or in the machines room, and so you kept running with fear gripping your heart. You couldn’t tell how they were looking at you, seeing that there were one-way mirrors between you. No one should know you were on this side, running, and yet there they were, with their eyes fixed on your rushing form. It made your stomach twist, and suddenly, it felt as though everyone was the predator, with only you left as the prey.
You rushed for the exit but quickly realized by the looks of the people you crossed along the way that you’d never make it. You knew what the sting of a bite felt like, but at that time you were elated, in love; this would be different. You were safe with Jimin, no matter what he said, but he wasn't here. He left you, and those were different.
This would be the death of you.
So, in a last-ditch effort, you swerved left and disappeared behind a door that said, Staff Only. You raced down the stairs and reached the basement, where a boiler room lay quietly under the purr of plenty of machines. You didn’t care how dark and damp it was; you used your whole strength and body weight to push the old, stuck metal door closed, then pulled the lever into place so the door would be locked.
Your heart raced inside your chest louder than the machines, and as your breathing calmed, you considered if maybe your reaction was disproportionate.
But then a smack to the door, what sounded like someone trying to push it open, startled you into jumping away from it. You could swear you heard hisses and growls, though who knew over the noise? Still, you backed away to the opposite corner and sat on the floor, curling your knees to your chest, and fought the tears as you pressed your wound again.
You had no idea how to get yourself out of this one. Maybe a friendly vampire would come to get you out.
14 months earlier
“Take my hand.”
Jiyu’s voice from above made you sniffle and look around. The waiter you collided harshly with was already sitting up and apologizing profusely while he stayed on his knees to collect the glass and porcelain shards all over the floor. A few colleagues of his were helping him and while the manager tried apologizing to you, and Jiyu smiled and reassured her, you kept your eyes low.
The entrance bell chimed with the old lady you had dodged leaving the café slowly, and your eyes fell on the treacherous step responsible for the whole ordeal.
“Hey,” Jiyu called your name, drawing your attention to her hand. You finally took it and allowed her to pull you to stand. “Are you burned?”
You looked down; besides the brown stains and whipped cream on your white blouse, you were fine.
“I’m not, it’s fine.”
She nodded, a sigh of relief crossing her lips quietly, before she ran a hand through her long, black hair. “This can't continue. I mean it,” she insisted when you scoffed playfully. This was your daily life; you were too clumsy to take two steps without tripping. “I don't think you'll survive me moving out.”
“I’ll be fine,” you retorted automatically.
You knew of her worries about you, but it was becoming silly. Sure, you were the type to collide with waiters, almost get run over by bikes, and constantly have things go wrong. But that didn’t mean Jiyu should not move in with her fiancé just to stay by your side.
After a million apologies from both the waiter and you, Jiyu finally opened the door for you to exit into the early evening ahead of her. The bell chimed above her head, and she said, “You know what? You’re coming with me.”
“Where?” you asked curiously.
“My Zumba class,” she revealed as she laced her arm with yours.
You were effectively dragged with her. “No, I’m— I’m not good at it and— I’m not sporty like you and—”
“Maybe that’s the problem!”
Her humor didn’t resonate with you as you both crossed the street to make your way to your apartment. “But I have nothing to wear!”
She snorted, “But I do.” She could feel your shoulders squaring as you walked stiffly beside her, and she poked you with her elbow. “Come on, it will be fun! I promise!”
When two hours later your ass met the floor for the fourth time that day, you groaned and knew it would be blue and sore in the morning. You were confused, not about sitting on the floor, but by the turn of events. Exercising was supposed to help you, but you couldn’t follow the instructor’s directions while moving and making sure to stay in your assigned spot. Jiyu was next to you and tried helping, but you stumbled over your own feet. Not even she could save you from yourself.
And her worried eyes as she reached out to check on you only made you feel worse.
“Maybe you should rest a bit.”
You accepted the instructor's hand to get back on your feet and left the room, hearing them resume class as you grabbed your things and wandered off to the reception to wait for Jiyu.
“Hey!”
You turned to look at the tall, gentle-smiled man at the reception. Jiyu had called him Hoseok, and he was very nice — he owned the place and let you try the class for free.
“Shouldn’t you be in class? It’s not eight yet.” He checked the clock on the wall behind him before turning back to you with raised eyebrows above inquisitive eyes. “What’s the matter?”
“I just… I’m no use,” you confessed with tearing eyes and a quivering chin. You were tired and sad, and Jiyu was probably disappointed besides worried.
“What? Nonsense! How about coffee? Come with me.”
You normally wouldn’t have gone, but you were feeling so low that it was easy to drag your feet behind him into a new hallway. He was cheerful and comforted you the whole time as he took you to the staff break room, even taking your arm to pull you out of the way of a door that abruptly opened across the hall.
He sat down with you after pouring you both coffees, and as you explained your plight to him, he listened attentively.
“Hmmm,” he mused. “Jiyu had the right idea, but to start by attending an advanced Zumba class was not the right move. But dancing is definitely the way to go — it will strengthen your core muscles and help you with your coordination. How about private classes?”
You looked down at your half-drunk coffee and sulked further. “I don’t know.” You remembered the look on the waiter’s face, and your shoulders slumped. “How can I do that to them?”
“Who? The dance instructor?” Hoseok burst out laughing before giving you a gorgeous grin. “Don’t worry. He’s perfectly equipped to handle it. In fact, I know just the one. He can do miracles.”
He kept selling this trainer to you, mentioning the many dance competitions he had won and how he was the gentlest, most patient soul, having worked so hard to be such a good dancer, and eventually, you nodded. Your sad eyes raised to meet his, and you gritted your teeth in determination; you could do it. He was a professional, after all, and you wanted to fix this annoying trait about yourself.
A week after your first encounter with Hoseok, you were back at the gym for your first class and you were a bit nervous. Jiyu advised you to take comfortable clothes and sneakers, and you even picked an oversized jumper just so you could hide your hands in the sleeves in case you started picking at your nails or the skin surrounding them.
Hoseok walked you to the dance room and kept it casual, reassuring you that this would be great for you, and while you wanted to listen to him, you couldn’t. The most stunningly handsome man had just entered the room with the gentlest smile as he neared you both, and you forgot how to breathe. He talked about something with Hoseok, and you kept blinking up at him, mesmerized. He raked his fingers through dark, lush strands of hair to pull them out of equally dark eyes of such an intensity that your heart skipped a beat. And yet, while his eyes and beauty were off the charts, his smile was dazzling, gentle, and warm. Everything about him glowed grace and delicateness, especially as his soft hair fell over his eyes as he crouched, searching for something inside a duffel bag nearby. You couldn’t stop looking at him and wondered if you’d be so lucky to have him.
“Oh, this is Jimin,” Hoseok said apologetically, probably noticing you were lost. “He’ll be your instructor this evening.”
Jimin glanced at you and smiled, and your stomach did cartwheels, hitching your breath. Something warm made you flush as you shuddered from head to toe with a single thought in your head — him close, eyes closed, kissing you and nuzzling you like you were his whole world.
He got up, giving something to Hoseok, and you blinked, rubbing your cheeks in an effort to ground yourself. Those thoughts were completely inappropriate and—
“What’s your name?”
You peered up at him and stammered your name out.
He simply smiled again and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
You grabbed his hand with your eyes transfixed on his, and Hoseok raised an eyebrow beside you, shaking his head softly.
“You’re set, have an amazing time! And don’t be hard on yourself. You’re only just starting.”
Those last words as the door closed behind him broke your trance away and made you swallow dryly. Even then, you didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself in front of Jimin.
“He’s right.” Jimin smiled to put you at ease, but his next words made your stomach twist with nervousness. “I’ve heard you’re a bit clumsy.”
“That’s an understatement,” you mumbled instantly, and he smirked.
“Let’s see, shall we? I’ll turn the music on.”
You bit the inside of your lip as you tried to focus on his instructions, but it was hard. The fear of messing up was too great; you felt like a kid on the first day of school.
You should have known your clumsiness would have flared even harder in the presence of an instructor; you were as good as cursed. Tripping on your suddenly untied shoelaces after not even ten steps into the warm-up routine was just devastating.
At least until Jimin laughed and picked you up from the floor by pulling your hands. “Oh, I see. This is going to be fun.”
Your big eyes looked up at him in wonder, but then he kneeled, turning his gaze down so he could tie your shoes for you. Your cheeks flushed even more as you stammered quiet thank yous, and in a flash, he was done.
He smiled contentedly at you. “Ready?”
You hurried to get back in position by his side, and everything got back on track. That was possibly the first time you didn’t feel embarrassed or apologetic for tumbling down. On the contrary, you wanted to laugh it out, too.
When the class ended, you felt quite good about yourself. You were tired and sweaty, but your smile was as big as his. You couldn’t recall his words of encouragement throughout, or the amount of times you tripped or stumbled, only that you were dead set on feeling like that again. Especially by his side.
Hoseok entered the room not long after the music stopped. He found Jimin toweling his face as you drank water and seemed pleased. “So?”
Jimin looked at you, giving you a subtle nod to share your thoughts, and you tried not sounding as eager as you felt, “I liked it…”
Hoseok nodded as though he expected more information, and glancing at Jimin, he caught the hint of a hidden smile disappearing under the towel. “Alright… so, second class?”
“Sounds good,” Jimin agreed, putting the towel over his shoulders and hanging onto it. “In two days?”
You nodded as unenthusiastically as you could and, after settling a few details, left the two men to go home.
*****
Hoseok turned to Jimin as soon as you walked out the door and asked again, “How was it?”
Jimin’s eyes were still on the door. His silence made Hoseok tilt his head, intrigued by the weird turn of events. Your reaction to Jimin wasn’t entirely implausible — Jimin was undeniably charming; it was only natural to stare and drool. But Jimin’s reaction to you was odd. Why would he ask your name when Hoseok had already told him? Not to mention, Jimin was not the type to get close to his students. He was not touchy with them and was usually distanced and professional — so why would he choose to take your hand rather than just to bow? The way he lingered with that connection while looking at you was all the weirder, but it continued even now that you had left, with his eyes fixed on the door as though he could still see you walking away behind it.
Jimin finally licked his lips and grabbed his bag. “She’s…”
Jimin seemed distracted while he searched for words and Hoseok tried helping, “Clumsy—”
“A ray of—”
Hoseok’s eyebrows twitched in surprise. “What?”
Jimin began walking away, and it seemed to Hoseok like he wanted to escape that conversation.
So he followed him. “Hey, if you’re uncomfortable because she’s—”
“No,” Jimin’s reply was instant as he stopped to face his hyung. “She’s just… the clumsiest ray of sunshine I’ve ever seen.”
Hoseok nodded slowly. “It’s not often we get to see that…”
Jimin’s jaw twitched, but he said nothing else, and Hoseok let him go. Both knew he was not just talking about the sun, but whatever else was happening, Jimin preferred to stay quiet.
12 months earlier
So you started your tri-weekly meet-ups. You appreciated Jimin agreeing always to have the class at the same time after dinner, which made it easier for you with work. No matter how many times you tripped on your feet or lost your balance from a simple side step, you didn’t give up. His hand catching you every time before you could get hurt was surely a reason for you to not hold back, but even as it became less necessary, you found he was always there, supporting you however you needed.
It started fun and cheeky, back when he still needed to catch you multiple times per lesson. Two months later, he still occasionally teased you about your stiff Hip Hop moves but never made you feel bad about yourself. On the contrary, he smirked every time you needed him and eyed you in this way that always warmed your cheeks, especially when an arm circled your waist or a hand wrapped around your wrist.
“I’m going back to my hometown to visit my family for Christmas, so this is our last lesson of the year.” You smiled just as he stopped the music.
He returned to you with a gentle nod. “That sounds fun.”
You scoffed playfully, “Hardly. My older sister is pregnant, so I have no drinking buddy for New Year's Eve.”
He smirked as you put everything inside your duffel bag and got out a thin jacket. “Maybe you need a new one.” You put the jacket on despite still feeling so hot, and increasingly so; was he offering? “How about dancing with somebody new?”
You physically recoiled but disguised it as just adjusting the jacket before you grabbed your thick winter coat. “And risk stepping on their feet? No, thanks.”
“What if they want you to?”
You looked at him quizzically, and he raised his hands, beckoning you closer.
Your heartbeat still quickened whenever he’d look at you with that playful smile dancing on his lips, and as usual, you took his hand, letting him have his way.
He pulled you closer, causing you to lose your balance and step on his foot. You gasped, about to apologize and pull back, but he grinned and pulled your hand to force your balance to shift. Your foot pressed into his harder as your other foot raised from the floor, and he pulled you flush to his chest. Your other hand pressed to his firm chest, making you huff and look up. All that awaited you was a gentle smile and sparkling eyes. Then his eyebrows raised playfully, and you gasped.
You were floating. No, you were hovering. Your feet rested on his, lulling you to a mimicry of a slow dance. His arms stayed around your waist, supporting your back gently, and you looked up at him again with stars in your eyes. That was the first time you danced with someone.
The holidays came and went, as did the stroke of midnight, without a dance or a kiss in sight, but you didn’t want them. Jimin just chuckled when you revealed the lack of a dancing partner on those occasions, hence no reason to dance, but you had sheepishly shrugged. You didn’t want to dance with anyone else.
You realized you harbored feelings for your dance instructor. Almost three months into your classes, it was hard not to. Your sister noticed something was up; you were at ease with her and uninterested in partying, and she tried poking you, but you had nothing to say. Jiyu had suspicions, and once you told her the truth of the matter, she had just sighed. She had moved out with a clear conscience since you were at significantly less risk of injuring yourself, but now she was worried about something else.
“It’s harmless, innocent, I promise,” you told her when you visited her to see her new place.
“I just don’t like the power dynamic… You pay him to teach you, and he has a role of authority.”
“So… you’re saying he’d never look at me twice if he wasn’t paid to and that he has power over me because he can dance better than me?”
She huffed in frustration, “You know exactly what I mean.”
You shrugged. “You may be right on the first part—”
“That’s not what I—”
“— but it doesn’t change anything. I’m not paying him to go on dates with me. Nothing is ever going to happen, I know that.”
It hurt you a little bit to admit that, but you were at peace with it. You thought there was no harm in your crush until you realized that every week of improvement brought the inevitable end to your classes. Of course, he would have better things to do than spend three hours a week with you. After all, being less clumsy did not make you a worthy dance partner for such a fantastic professional.
But to your surprise, he suggested something else once you could do Zumba, Hip Hop, and Cize.
“I want us to try this,” he suggested with his bottom lip between his teeth as he showed you a colorful poster. It featured a couple entwined in a dance, and reading it, you gasped.
“What?”
“It’s a regional competition of Latin dance styles. I’d like us to participate.”
You widened your eyes at him. “I can’t do that!”
“Would I have suggested it if I didn’t know you could?”
His intense dark eyes felt like a caress down your neck, and you sighed. “If you think so…”
“I know so.” He put down the poster, and you shrugged.
“I guess we can try—”
He grabbed your hands and pulled you closer. “We can do it. We have the whole year to train.”
Your heart was beating so fast, flushed to his chest again while looking up at him. Naively, you thought maybe he also didn’t want the lessons to end. He surely didn’t have to be so enthusiastic about it, telling you all about his ideas for the competition. He had so many ideas, he had already taken notes of some choreography moves he wanted to train with you and the styles he thought would suit you best. Jimin was excited about spending the next year training with you, and it made you smile.
10 months earlier
“Ugh, it’s just no use!”
You pushed yourself off Jimin and turned away with annoyance gritting your teeth. Your dress swooshed around you as the taps that always accompanied your steps made you cringe, and even Jimin's soft voice didn’t make it go away.
“Stop worrying about it.”
“I can’t!”
You couldn’t even face him; you didn’t want him to see your tears of frustration.
“Why not?”
He respected your need for space, staying exactly where you left him, and you bit your tongue.
One of Jimin’s worst ideas was for you to wear heels to every class from the moment you agreed to the competition. He said it was necessary, otherwise you’d have different mindsets attached to different shoes, and you believed him, but damn. You struggled to get used to it; you felt the looming threat of falling more sharply than ever before, even months later.
He caught you every time, of course, but you kept stepping on him like just now and it just unnerved you. You weren’t good enough to dance by his side, to be by his side, to—
A sob shook you silently, and you looked at the ceiling so you wouldn’t cry. “I’ll just embarrass you.”
His chuckle from behind you shook you more than his touch on your arm as he spun you around.
“You won’t. You’ll be perfect.” His smile was dazzling as his hands settled back on your waist, and heat emerged on your cheeks instantly.
You couldn’t help it, no matter how many times he had pulled you close to him like that in the last couple of months. It was part of the routine, of course, but your silly, palpitating heart didn’t know better.
He tapped your temple with a fingertip. “You’re so much better than you think you are.”
You stared at him with stars in your eyes and thought for the hundredth time how it was impossible not to have a crush on him.
“Let’s go again, come on. Ready?” He smiled softly like he always did before resuming the lesson, and you nodded, also accepting it was all it would ever be. A silly crush on your dance instructor turned dance partner.
As you let him twirl you around as he pleased with every new step of the choreography you were training, trusting him wholeheartedly, you considered that he didn’t make it any easier for you. He didn’t have to tease you about the perks of wearing heels — you could finally reach his chin — or about how you spun so beautifully into his arms. He made a point of saying it, praising you every time you twirled and landed softly back into his arms, and you had to remind yourself constantly that he was just doing his job.
Jimin always held you and spun you like the world was that room, making you feel confident and beautiful, at least until your thoughts got in the way.
You almost tripped with the last step, but he pulled on your hand harder, making sure you landed safely against his chest. He kept you in his arms, both of you winded as you recovered.
He pulled away and brushed your sweaty hair out of your face, trying to look at you, and whispered, “Are you okay?”
You closed your eyes and nodded, always appreciating that contact and closeness more than you probably should. You never said anything about it, even now that he took longer and longer to let you go.
“Let’s repeat that last set,” he finally said as he gently let go of you.
You agreed and glued your eyes to the floor, trying to purge your thoughts so you could focus properly.
He restarted the music a bit before the set he was talking about, then returned to you. “Ready?”
His attentive eyes always made sure you were, and you nodded and raised your hand. He took it, restarting the dance on the right beat after a short countdown.
You were focused, concentrated not only on your feet or the choreography, but also on your balance. Yet, that last move was tricky; you tripped.
He caught you at the last second, his firm grip the only thing between you and the wood floor. Then, he held you to him again, only this time, he fitted your legs around him like a koala bear in his arms.
“You okay?” he asked, brushing your hair away so he could look at you.
You nodded, not once worried or hurt despite his strength, and rubbed your cheek against his, appreciating his closeness yet again. Suddenly, though, it was gone. A set of plump lips gently brushed your skin instead, tracing your flushed, sweaty cheek, covering you in goosebumps until his lips found yours.
You trembled in his arms, barely believing that feather-like touch was gracing your mouth, but it was as sure as his firm hold on you. It wasn’t an accident or a mishap because he kept going; he brushed your hair aside and kissed your lips softly as though he had wanted to do that for a long time.
You’d never forget the look in his eyes when you pulled away, needing to breathe but, most of all, to believe that it was really happening. His eyes had a fierceness to them, making you wonder about his thoughts: what did he make of this?
A surge of emotions whirled through you as he carried you across the room. He sat down and simply held you on his lap, and that class ended like that — with you both letting that closeness sink in.
7 months earlier
Jimin should never have kissed you, he knew that. Once he did, the truth was out, and it could never be ignored again — his feelings weren’t platonic.
For as long as he held you in that firm embrace afterward, his mind was ravished by thoughts of inevitability and fate.
At first, he didn’t believe it. He didn’t even know it could happen. He had heard the stories about his kind finding their muses, those special humans one would find in a lifetime whose spirit spoke to a vampire uniquely, but he figured them to be rumors. Dreams ushered by the elders to keep the younglings from going too crazy, in case they happened to touch one such human and make their matching vampire mad.
But then he met you, and certain things just made sense to him. He could never get tired of your stumbles, your scent awoke his senses, and when you moved near him, he just answered in tandem. But what made him certain, despite his initial denial, was that when you smiled, he saw light. Not concrete light, but a glimmer that he had never seen before and that he couldn’t help longing to see again.
He was inspired; he convinced himself the days spent planning your classes and how he could make you shine even more and brighter were due to your improvement, not his need to think about you incessantly. The competition was an excuse to keep working together, and he had given it so much thought and planning, he had most of the choreography figured out before you even said yes.
But then he kissed you, even when he promised himself he didn’t need that, and that he’d stay away for your sake. Of course, beautiful stories about the eternal love between a muse and a vampire were still told, but so were the cautionary tales. Sometimes, things went wrong, be it because of jealousy, unbridled fascination, or tragedy. Undoubtedly, there was always hurt — for the human, whose life would never be the same again, and for the vampire, whose existence would forever spin around one single axis. Once, he thought that was ludicrous. Who’d want that? But now he had met you, and he didn’t want anyone else. The very thought seemed senseless.
But he vowed to stay away from you for your sake — if you never got involved, you’d never have to suffer through such things. You’d never fully step into his world, and you’d be able to live your human life to its full extent.
Kissing you was not on the agenda, and it threw him off. How the fuck was he supposed to let go of you now?
He tried, though. You kept coming to class and, while he was perhaps a bit more attentive than before, he kept the space between you. He focused hard on the choreography, wanting to make sure you’d shine as brightly as he knew you could. It did sadden him that you never mentioned the kiss, but he would never bring it up and make you uncomfortable — seeing you smile as you twirled around was all he needed.
He thought that was all you needed, too, but then you showed him it wasn’t so. In the third class after he had first tasted you, you twirled into his arms as part of the choreography, but then you grabbed his cheeks and crashed your mouths together.
Your kiss was hot and hungry as your hips swiveled together with his, and he lost his mind. He grabbed you closer and groaned into your mouth, desperately drinking every drop of your taste. Even with his eyes closed, he could see light in the darkness, no matter how faint, and the enticement was powerful. The more you kissed him, the more his heart gave in, quickly promising you everything you could ever desire, even if rationally he knew he shouldn’t.
I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t.
That day, as you smiled up at him, he convinced himself that a middle ground was possible — he could just give.
The intimacy of what you were doing was undeniable, he could recognize that. Dancing like you two did, touching and breathing closely, brought you close. But as he took you on that learning journey with each new step in your routine, he figured he could give you whatever you’d ask and keep himself in check. That way, he’d keep you safe and free and content, and he wouldn’t break his promise.
He started with the Cha-cha-cha choreography as the first dance of the competition. The dance was playful and flirtatious, and you focused very hard on each distinct step so you could claim an unspoken reward — stolen kisses.
Then came the Rumba, with smooth, flowing movements that had your heart beating intensely inside your chest; he could hear it. Every time he pulled you closer and guided your hips close to his, he noticed your blood rushing to your cheeks and who knew where else, deepening your breath. Often, he glued his nose to your cheek or touched your foreheads together as he moved your waist in movements that made his imagination fly, despite his self-castigation. The kisses that followed became fiery hot in time, and although he felt the urge to dive deeper into you every time, he always held back.
Surprisingly, Tango was the hardest for you. After seeing how you excelled at the others, he thought it would have been easier. Even though he insisted it was all about trust and letting go, the intricate footwork and required precision drove you insane. You had to worry about your feet all the time, and it just didn’t work. You confessed you were a bit overwhelmed, but he wouldn’t give it up. That just meant more training and more time to be close to you.
“Stop worrying,” he said, swinging your bodies around with your chests glued together. “You’ll always land on your feet, or I’ll catch you.”
You swallowed and nodded.
“Keep your back arched, and I’ll spin us.”
With your heart racing, you did before he pulled you firmly back into his arms.
“Raise your leg.” He raised your knee to his waist. “When I pull your hand up like this, it’s your cue to bend back. Our feet are locked, and I’ll grab this leg.” He tapped on your knee around him, “and arm as you reach back to the floor. I have you,” he promised, and you let go slowly.
You didn’t dare bend too far back, but he caught you just as if you had, swaying you for a second before giving you the cue to step away and mirror him.
“Good.” He smiled. “Now close.”
You knew you were supposed to raise your hand and bring it slowly behind his head, gluing your foreheads, and you did, but then you stopped. He did the same, with his eyes focused on yours, not half as winded as you.
He kept you close and connected, eyes fixed on every line of your face. “That’s it, you’re perfect.”
You couldn’t blush any more than you already had, but you could try and pretend it was just the exertion.
“We’ll get there,” he assured you. “Soon, you’ll be ready for me to raise you high and spin you around.”
You raised your wide eyes. “I can’t do that!”
He smiled. “You can.”
“No!”
“How else am I supposed to show you off?” Your lips parted in shock as he brushed your flushed cheek with all the sweetness in the world. “This is all about you and letting you shine. No one will be able to take their eyes off of you.”
“But I’m not the experienced dancer here,” you whined, confused.
“No, but you are exquisite.” He pressed you harder against him; that close embrace wasn’t enough. “Irresistible, delectable even, and you’ll show it with every move of your hips,” his words were slow, pausing to guide you with a deliberate, deep hip swivel. “Every time your heel touches the floor.” He leaned you back ever the slightest, and the tap echoed loudly in your heart. “And every time you hold your breath, making them all wait…”
He smiled and you blinked, dazzled. Your body was moving, responding to his every push, pull, and subtle shift in weight and pressure. You could be coordinated and sharp if you didn’t think about it. Letting him direct you into raising your leg around him and falling backward, arching your back to the max with tension stretching you from head to toe.
He smiled, pulling you back, and you fell into his arms, his lips finding yours.
You kissed him as passionately, reveling in the way he had sought your kiss for the first time in a while. You didn’t doubt he liked it when you touched him, but you had felt discouraged about being the one always searching for him. After a while, it made you hesitate, wondering if you were stepping over the line and making him uncomfortable, and so that untamed kiss washed away your worries.
Not only that, but it gave you the green light to feel more. You didn’t just want his company, his attention and affection; you wanted to fulfill that tension, that unspoken promise. He wasn’t just showing you that you could dance. He showed you that you could do it — you could dance by his side and be, too.
Your mouths never parted, with tongues sharing desires and heavy breaths never quite deeply enough. You couldn’t care less about breathing, though; you were burning up, gripping his shirt over his shoulders as you ground your hips still pressed to his.
Your back hit the mirror, making you gasp in surprise, yet as he kissed down your jawline and neck, you smiled. It was as though he had finally stopped resisting and touched you like flames licking at your silhouette. One of your legs surrounded him, welcoming his excitement rubbing your core deliciously, and you moaned, ready to ignite.
Only he pulled away and tried to breathe despite your lips on his cheek lowering to his neck.
“I can't.”
He sounded tortured and your blood froze. Your head fell back to the mirror to face him, not hiding the fear taking hold of you at his words. Why couldn’t he—
“No, it’s not that,” he reassured you, whispering as he cupped your cheek. “I just—” He was breathless and lost, and looking into your sparkling eyes, he finally gave in, “Not here. Not like this. It— It wouldn't be right.”
“Come home with me, then.”
Your whisper had him looking into your eyes with a glint of anxiety. “If you’re sure.”
You smiled. “I am.”
*****
That night, you took Jimin home. He hesitated to pass the threshold of your apartment, and you just grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. That simple gesture was enough for him to settle his hands on your waist and his lips on yours.
You weren’t just kissing or stripping as your lips and tongue tasted, your skin rampant with goosebumps and your core wet with need. You were connected; every press of his fingers guided you, while every brush of his plump lips over your exposed skin conveyed secrets. Elation made your heart sing. Your senses were heightened; every whisper shook you, and every graze set you alight.
He let you touch him and explore however you liked, even when your fingers first traced down his neck and onto his shoulders, gripping his muscles through his shirt. His response was instant, pulling you closer, deepening your kiss, urging you with sweet whispers to keep going, and you didn’t hesitate. You pulled every article of clothing from his body greedily, entertaining his kisses while you waited. Anticipation made your heart thrum faster until the last barrier disappeared.
The white tee shirt fell on your carpeted floor with a muffled sound, contrasting your silent focus. His body was firm, his skin flawless under your gentle touch. You don’t think you had ever felt the urge to touch and know someone like this before, and you blamed it on his perfect body. Why was his chest so smooth, with round dark nipples, while his stomach was delineated with taut muscles on a delicate frame?
You shook your head and quickly dragged your fingers up his chest to his shoulders to pull him close, falling into a passionate kiss as you placed his hands on the hem of your shirt. He felt slightly cold to the touch, and you wanted to heat him up. Luckily, with the way he followed your kiss, you doubted it would take long. You guided him to your bedroom between kisses, leaving your clothes and inhibitions behind, and parted your lips from his only when you sat on the bed.
You moved back on your elbows with your eyes on his, offering yourself clearly to him despite the way you were trembling. His eyes drank you up silently, tracing every line and curve of yours so intensely you could feel his scorching gaze. Your nipples perked as your chest heaved under his gaze, aching for him before his eyes trailed lower, below your navel. You weren’t shy about opening your legs more, letting him see how dripping wet you were for him, and that was when you noticed his fists beside his hips, and a raging boner matching the tension on his features.
You raised your hand, ready to coax him to come closer when he seemingly relaxed. He kneeled on the bed and traced down your legs as he settled between them.
“Jimin,” you pleaded, needing him closer.
Yet he simply nuzzled down your inner thigh. “Not yet, little light. This is all about you.”
You whimpered, needing his touch all over you, and as he pecked your delicate skin, you trembled from head to toe in anticipation.
“Slowly,” he whispered, and you squirmed a little. He looked up, only to find your hands taking your breasts in full, squeezing them, and his eyes darkened. “That’s it. Touch them, make yourself feel good.” He traced the back of your thighs with his fingers until he squeezed your ass, making your legs open limply. “So perfect,” he murmured, tracing kisses just a little closer to where you wanted him, but not yet. “I wish I could squeeze all of you at the same time,” he sighed, and looking up, hummed. “Do that again, little light.”
You squeezed your breasts again, and a sensual moan fell from your lips.
“That’s it, so good… pinch them. Come on.” He smiled, grazing his teeth on the junction between your thigh and sex. You trembled and did as he said, pressing your nipples between your fingers, only to hump your hips toward him. He laughed darkly against your skin, sprinkling your mound with kisses. “Good, so good… I want you as wet as can be. What do you think? Should I check?”
You whimpered incoherently as he dragged his lips to your lower ones and parted them with his tongue, letting your slick coat it. His short growl was enough to make you flush, but the way he gripped your ass to pin you down under him made you clench.
You felt his sigh deep inside your core as he lapped his tongue in circles, taking every single drop of sweetness.
“All for me, little light.”
You contained your moans, feeling your face and chest so hot, you thought your very sweat would evaporate. You only noticed the way you were curling into yourself, lost, when he grabbed your hand in his hair to loosen your grip.
“Let me take care of you,” he coaxed, kissing your fingertips before leaning to nuzzle your clit. “I’m not going anywhere.”
It made your heart skip, and you finally laid back down. He placed your hand back on his head with a mischievous smile before diving in again, and you bit your lip, knowing you were melting, just giving him more of what he wanted. You didn’t know why, but the way he reassured you made it so you could relax and forget yourself, focusing simply on the pleasure. His tongue was restless, but his nose on your clit was gentle, almost a tease, as though poking a reaction out of you. You weren’t shy about sighing, moaning, or grazing his scalp gently now, but when he gave your clit a few circular rubs, you started shaking and let out a deep moan.
He kept his touches so light, his kisses so feather-like that you couldn’t help but moan and combust with each new lap. His dark eyes stayed on yours while his pink tongue leaped over you with utmost gentleness and led you down a path where, in the end, you felt like a supernova — a star about to burst and be set free.
Your climax made you moan and shake; you would have forgotten who you were if not for that single point of contact. You searched for him, and he grabbed your hands, instantly giving you the direction you needed. But while he coaxed you gently down to earth, you became anxious.
“I want you,” you breathed, looking down at him, still kissing your inner thighs as if he didn’t intend on leaving that spot.
“You have me, little light.”
“I need you,” you insisted.
“I know, and I'll give you everything you want.”
His tone was losing its lightness, but you were not sated. “Then give me… you,” you sobbed when his lips skimmed your folds, shaking you with a shiver. “Jimin, please.”
He squeezed your hands before latching his lips more firmly to your core, grunting and fluttering his eyes closed, but it wasn’t enough for you. You whimpered his name, pulling his hands to you, and he chuckled, “I’m trying, but—”
“No, you. I need to feel you inside me,” you pleaded, trying your best to describe the urge unsettling you from the inside out. “I'm so empty, I need you, please!”
You only noticed you had managed to pull him over you like a heated blanket when his face was hovering above yours. He cupped your cheeks with a line of worry between his eyebrows. “This is about you.”
“This is about us,” you instantly corrected, also cradling his lovely cheeks. “Please.”
His eyes peered at your features, and his hesitation hurt you. It hurt him, too. You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, and he wished he could be truthful with you. You were everything he had ever wanted or ever would; his reluctance to continue was not out of uncertainty of his feelings or lack of desire for you. It was because he didn’t know if he’d be able to control himself with you. He knew what drinking someone drunk on lust tasted like, but they weren’t you. He couldn’t help his curiosity, but he could never endanger you like that. Not without you knowing the risks. On top of it, what if he marked you? Claimed you? He could feel his selfish, untamable urge to do so, to link you to him forever.
But how could he do that without telling you about him? Without changing your life forever? Without revealing that he had been lying to you? That the person you were lying with, who he was, was not what you thought?
“Jimin,” your quiet voice brought him back, and his heart made the decision. He just wanted to erase that deep sadness from your features and show you that with him, you’d never find anything but love.
He kissed you, vowing to himself for the hundredth time that he’d give you everything he could, and never hold you back or hurt you. To seal those promises, he dragged his lips and tongue down your jaw and neck. A whiff of your scent there as your jugular thrummed against his lips made him groan, but he trailed lower to your sternum, promising right to your heart.
You squeezed your breasts around his face and he smiled, obliging your desires. He grabbed them over your hands and nipped at a nipple, appreciating how you writhed under him. Your legs squeezed around his waist, humping your hips as though you could align yourself with him, and it was sweet. It was wild, untempered, and the thought that perhaps you felt as strongly about him as he did about you almost made him adjust so he could join your bodies as one.
But he groaned into your chest as he teased you and reminded himself that this was about you. So he pulled away and lay next to you.
A wave of cold invaded you, making you look at him with worry again. Did he really not want to—
“Get on top of me, little light,” he instructed, extending his hand to you. You eyed it, and he gave you a dazzling smile. “Come on, I want to see you.”
You pressed your lips and took his hand, letting him guide you as he had countless times before. You straddled him just like he asked you, and when his eyes moved down your body, you stayed put. A part of you feared you weren’t to his liking, but the way he drank your every detail, tracing his palms up and down your curves, soothed you quickly. Instead, you let the way he touched you relax you into lowering yourself down his chest.
He kissed you instantly, wanting you to get lost in him. You were easily overwhelmed, shuddering with his curious fingertips tracing your every line. Meanwhile, his lips pecked your cheek and jawline whenever you dared breathe, only to steal your breath away seconds later by kissing you again. This intimate rhythm distracted you enough to let him gently push and pull your waist over him. You found yourself moving in a steady sway, noticing only how it was making you burn and lose yourself when a moan pushed out of your lips.
You broke away from the kiss, noticing under your lowered eyelids how his lips chased yours.
“Good?” he asked, lips peppering every inch of skin they could find as he covered you with hot breaths. “Do you like it, little light?”
You would have smacked his shoulder out of embarrassment, but his hands pressed your hips down the slightest, and your clit on his hard shaft made you moan breathlessly. Your cheeks flushed as you hid in his neck, unable to stop your hips.
He suckled your exposed neck, feeling you exude heat as pleasure overtook your senses. “You’re doing so well,” he cooed, gently brushing your hair away. “You sound about to cum again—”
You froze and pushed away to face him. Despite the heat clouding your judgment, you realized what you were doing — just humping him, using him for your pleasure selfishly. When, in fact, you wanted so much more at that moment.
“Why did you stop?”
He caressed your cheek, and you whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” His tone was ever so gentle, even as his brow furrowed.
You nodded, “I got carried away.”
He smiled, “That’s good.”
You shook your head shyly. “No. I want to feel you, please,” you whispered to his lips, reminding him of what you had requested earlier.
He sighed and pecked your lips once, cupping your cheeks. “You can do whatever you want, little light. I want to feel you, too.”
You pressed a kiss to his lips before rising to your knees and looking down. You could barely process the perfect body underneath you or the starry eyes looking up at you. Jimin was so perfect, with his smooth muscles matching astonishing features, not to mention his perfect hard cock glistening under you. You rolled your hips, grinding your slit on him just a bit more, and the friction drew a moan out of you as you sank your teeth into your bottom lip.
You grabbed his dick and gave him a few flicks of your wrist, but he was already as hard as can be. He was also the image of pure sin, gripping the sheets as he fought to keep his eyes from rolling back.
“Do you like it? This is what you do to me,” he managed to say with a low groan, and you bit your lip.
“Me?”
“You.”
His eyes opened to set on yours, and you could instinctively read the hunger behind them. It could have intimidated you, but instead, you brought his cock closer to your entrance as though you finally understood each other. You couldn’t phrase it, but that desire you saw in his eyes was a reflection of your own. You wanted to feel him deep inside you, parting you open to fit with you in ways no one else could, and he wanted the same. You could feel it and know it as you sank on him.
He groaned and pushed himself further inside you, letting your tight walls squeeze a dream-like haze over him. You both moaned with the connection, and he had to hold back from biting you and drawing blood as he hid in the crook of your neck. Not even because he wanted your blood, but just because he couldn’t control the way he needed to become a part of you.
You moved your hips, and he groaned again, needing to still you seconds later. That unique, euphoric sensation lacing every wave of pleasure brought tears to his eyes, even more so when you pecked his forehead. Every time you moved, he saw sparks of white. It was beautiful and heavenly, and he knew he’d want it for the rest of his days.
You restarted your hips, moving in a way that his cock bottomed out, and he tensed again, unable to stop you and overwhelmed by everything you gave him.
He could only breathe when you stopped again, moaning for him with your lip tucked between your teeth as you swiveled your hips to grind your clit on him. “I won’t last.”
He kissed your shoulder with closed eyes and knew you felt his hard dick throb inside you. No matter what, he’d let you have your way. He just couldn’t say no to you.
Your moans echoed across the room as you rolled your hips harder, making good use of his slicked length inside you, but it was only when he joined in, fucking you hard and fast, that you lost sight of yourself. You closed your eyes and let him take you, your desperate moans the only hint he could have to how close you were.
Until you sobbed his name, crashing down around him in waves of frenzied bliss. He fucked you slower, cupping your cheeks to keep you looking at him the whole time, and you almost cursed him. You had never felt so connected and complete, all while you trembled and cried your pleasure, staring directly into his gorgeous dark eyes.
His strangled name out of your lips as you peaked made everything come cascading down for Jimin. That single moment rewrote him and changed him, because as you came, and your body and blood sang to him, he swore he saw light. It made him cling to you, the only ray of light in his darkness, and the pleasure that washed over him as he joined you washed him clean. He wasn’t just Jimin, and he wasn’t just a vampire, he was yours. Undoubtedly, for the rest of his days, regardless if he ever claimed you.
You let your forehead fall to his as your hushed breaths filled the room, and he hugged you closer.
“I was made for you,” he whispered, then pressed his lips to yours before he’d confess more of the turmoil inside him.
“So was I.”
6 months earlier
“You always let me eat the whole popcorn tub,” you giggled as you dragged him outside the cinema and into the night as your dress twirled around you. The temperatures were rising, and Jimin liked seeing you in dresses.
“I know you like sweet things.” He shrugged as he followed you, ignoring the few people leaving the late-night session alongside the two of you.
“Still, not even one? You make me feel bad for letting you pay half.”
You were grinning, so he didn’t take it too seriously. At first, comments like those made him freeze and think of excuses, but a month was enough to know that you didn’t really care.
“Buy my ticket next time,” he suggested, pulling you closer to cross the park hand in hand. He knew you thought it was for safety, but it was just for the pleasure of it. No one would dare come close to you two, and if someone tried, he’d avoid it before you even realized the situation.
You walked side by side and raised your eyebrows, “Are you saying you want to do this again?”
He squeezed your hand, “You know I do.”
You chuckled and stayed quiet, turning your head up to observe the breeze move the tree canopies above your heads as you walked the city park. Lately, you had been there so many times that he knew the way back to your place like the back of his hand. He couldn’t help his smile as you observed the night sky with a light purse of your lips.
“How about we go see the stars next time?” you asked, turning to him.
“So you don’t buy me a ticket?”
“What?” You chuckled and shook your head once you realized his tease. “Of course, I’ll get you a ticket. But on another day, we could go see the stars. We can’t really see them from here.”
You stopped to look at the sky, and he mimicked you, though your wonder was far more interesting.
“There’s this place outside the city…” he suggested. “It’s a bit of a drive, but it will be beautiful on a summer night.”
Your lips curved playfully. “Sounds like a good idea. Should we make it a weekend?”
He pursed his lips. “No, I can… drive us back.”
You nodded and looked down, taking one step to resume your walk, when he pulled you back to him.
“I’m not saying no to a weekend away with you,” he clarified, looking intently into your eyes. “We can plan something better than just star gazing.”
You hummed in thought, though you didn’t move away, letting your hands rest on his chest. “I’m sure it would involve cuddles at some point.”
“Cuddles?” It was his turn to hum, exaggerating as he swayed you in his embrace. “You’re right; that does make it much better.” You smiled cheekily, and he pinched your pink cheek. “We’ll plan something.”
You smiled, getting on your toes to kiss him when your phone rang. You pulled it out of your handbag and picked up the call in one swift movement that made Jimin sigh.
“Don’t tell me you’re still out?” you asked Jiyu in disbelief, knowing it was about three-thirty in the morning.
He raised an eyebrow, though he tried not to give away how much he could hear of the conversation.
“Yeah, we’re still out! And you are too, so get your ass here!”
“We’re just out of the cinema,” you started, glancing at him.
“So you’re already out of the house! And bring Jimin. It’s high time he hears some truths!”
“Are you drunk?” you asked gently, and the roll of high-pitched grumbles that followed confirmed it.
“You just never go out anymore! It’s all his fault! I never see you anymore, and it’s not because I moved out! Would I even see you if we still lived together?! You’re just out on dates every night or whatever!”
“We also watch movies at home and snuggle—”
“I don’t care!” There was a sniffle. “I don't know if I like him! I trust Hoseok, but ever since you started dating, I just don't see you! You're busy every night!”
“We are…” you started, looking at him before glancing away, “getting to know each other.”
Her voice sounded strangled, “Just get your ass here, or I’ll never forgive you!”
Jimin could hear the others’ awwws and don’t be like that, and knew Jiyu was crying. You looked at Jimin again and bit your lip; so you knew it, too. “Where are you? Okay, I know where it is.” You turned, looking around to situate yourself. “I’m fifteen minutes out. See you soon.”
Jimin had a light frown on his face as you put your phone away.
“Jiyu is at Club Gabbia,” you told him with a bit of a shy smile. “I haven’t seen her in a while, or the others, so I’ll join them before I go home.”
He pursed his lips, wondering why you weren’t inviting him to come along when it was clear Jiyu needed reassurance. “It’s not safe for you to go alone…”
You smiled while you shook your head. “Jiyu is with the girls, and they’ve had a bit to drink… I’m sure you’d be annoyed.”
“Not as long as I’m with you.” The words flew out before he could stop them, and he raked his fingers through his hair. “I just wouldn’t be at ease knowing you were by yourself.”
You nodded slowly. “I should tell you that… if they see you, they won't let you get away. Only Jiyu knows you, and they’re… curious,” you settled on a word, and he nodded. “And they’re also drunk, so they might be a bit too much.”
“Are you trying to convince me not to meet them?”
His tone had amusement, and you sighed. “Just telling you what to expect…”
He grabbed your hand and turned down another path, “Club Gabbia… I think I remember where that is.”
He led you calmly down the stone path, asking you things about your friends so you’d relax. He preferred to hear you talk than to worry about his problems — like the fact that Jiyu already noticed how close you were to Jimin. Only one month had passed, and you spent every night together, either out on a date or home snuggling — getting to know each other, as you said.
Some would say that meeting your friends would complicate everything, but he couldn’t let you go alone or create even more friction with Jiyu. After all, you would always gravitate towards him; that was inevitable, but you were not bonded. He had made sure to keep that side of him in check precisely so you wouldn’t change or sacrifice your life to be with him. So you could walk away one day. Perhaps pretending to be a normal guy would help you with this.
You reached the club and entered quickly, and Jimin’s hand tightened around yours as you guided him upstairs. The whole structure was black metal, an industrial concept that made it seem like the building was still under construction. He tried focusing on the floor, but the flashing lights almost made his sensitive eyes cry. On top of this, the open concept meant that the booming noise from the dance floor echoed up, making him grit his teeth. Clubs were too much for creatures like him.
“I don’t believe it!”
A couple of shrieks and shouts ahead told him which table had your friends before you headed that way. Jiyu was sitting in the middle and didn’t get up like the others to greet you two. Instead, her eyes lingered on him while you greeted everyone and told them about being nearby.
“So you never go out clubbing?” Jiyu asked, raising her voice so he’d know she was talking to him.
“Not my thing,” he replied with a tense smile. “I prefer the bars downtown,” he added with a shout, making a point. “Easier to have a conversation.”
Jiyu pursed her lips, and you raised your hand to her, inviting her to get up and hug you, which she did. She was pouting, drunk, and Jimin only smiled to himself—he understood the feeling; he would also get jealous if he were in her shoes.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” A friend of yours smiled boldly, and you let go of Jiyu, who you were talking to by speaking in each other’s ears as you hugged.
“Girls, this is Jimin.”
They started giggling and teasing, and he found them amusing. You looked flustered as they asked if he was your boyfriend, and your reply was bashful. “We’re getting to know each other.”
He didn’t correct you, and a playful smile rested on his lips when he pulled you to sit next to him. He didn’t think you were downplaying what you two were doing; you were likely just afraid of saying something that he wouldn’t agree with. It was funny to him because you were so beyond “girlfriend” or any other human designation, and you didn’t even know it. Little did he know, however, that his smile was interpreted the wrong way.
Your friends were keen on getting to know him, asking him a myriad of unexpected questions. Fortunately, his handling of humans as a dance instructor meant he had a well-rehearsed story and was totally unfazed. Jiyu had the hardest questions, interrupting only when there was an opportunity to dig a little deeper. How many siblings did he have? Were his grandparents still alive? Did he own his apartment?
He didn’t take it personally and answered everything according to the fictional story Hoseok had drafted for him back when he started at the gym. It wasn’t enough, he thought. Jiyu kept analyzing him, scrutinizing his worth. Even you realized this, grabbing her hand and leaning into her ear to tell her to take it easy.
It didn’t help that he refused drinks vehemently and couldn’t hide how uncomfortable he was. Jiyu perceived it as disliking her questions, but it was really the nauseating flashing lights.
Your friends got on the bandwagon and joined the questioning, though their questions were more playful. Had he ever dated seriously, or did he prefer dating around? When was his last long-term relationship? Was he available to teach them to dance, too?
He wasn’t ready for those, and it didn’t feel right to answer them when you had never touched such topics just the two of you. Fortunately, that was the moment you decided to leave.
“It’s almost five, and I’d like not to be a zombie tomorrow.”
Jiyu agreed, and so did Jimin. “I’ll take you home.”
He was eager to leave before the sun showed and made it uncomfortable for him. Not that he’d instantly combust, but he hated the sun-induced rash even after just a few minutes of exposure.
Your other friends tried their best, but you were out quickly, taking Jiyu to a taxi where she eyed Jimin one last time with a small head bow.
“I don’t think she likes me,” Jimin told you when the taxi moved away.
“She’s just looking out for me,” you replied, letting him guide you by the hand out of the crowd. When you got to a side street, it was easier to walk side by side and talk. “I’m sorry about the others, though.”
“Hmm? Why?”
“They were… kind of intrusive, no? And that last question…”
His thumb brushed circles on your hand as he tried recalling. “About being available for more classes?”
You huffed and looked away. “Said like that, it sounds innocent, but… it was not an innocent question, and I…”
He looked at you, and you instantly stiffened.
“I mean, of course, you’re free to give anyone classes. I just…”
He stopped and pulled you close to make sure you looked at him. “It bothers you?”
You took a deep breath and nodded. “Their insinuation? Yes.”
“I see,” he hummed as he grabbed your other hand. “I’m not teaching anyone else one-on-one, but even if I were, this,” he squeezed your hands, “wouldn’t happen. We might have met through dancing, but we’re much more than that. You’re special to me.”
You blushed, looking up at him with stars in your eyes, and he chuckled when you got on your tiptoes to kiss him.
5 months earlier
“Well done, everyone.” Jimin smiled as he stopped the music and clapped along with everyone in the class. “Have a safe trip back home!”
The sweaty attendees of his class bowed and expressed their appreciation before starting to disperse, and Jimin turned his back to grab his things.
“We’re going out for a drink, Jimin-ssi.”
He turned to face one of the usuals smiling at him with a flushed, cheeky smile. He couldn’t recall her name.
She pointed behind her at a group of seven or so people from that same class. “Want to join us?”
He nodded at them in acknowledgment but instantly shook his head. “No, I got somewhere to be.”
“Come on, Eun-Yeong,” one of them called. “Can’t you see Jimin-ssi is going home to his girlfriend?”
Her scowl was instant as she turned to glare at the guy, and Jimin chuckled, “Well…”
“Oh,” Eun-Yeong suddenly said as realization spread over her features. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you— I’m sorry.” She bowed deeply, and Jimin grabbed his things.
“No worries. You enjoy yourselves and get home safely.” He gave them all light head bows before heading straight to the exit into the warm night.
The days were longer now, which meant not as much time to be with you. While he was inside the gym, it was fine, but he couldn’t stay so long in the morning, which annoyed him greatly.
He walked to your place on autopilot, wondering about what his students had said. Girlfriend. Would you have said yes if you were asked? He hoped so, considering. Though he knew there was a chance you wouldn’t, and he’d understand.
It was his fault. He knew that for humans, dating and seeing each other every day meant being serious, and he was serious about you — he just didn’t want you to know.
Yes, he was yours, body and soul, but no, he had never told you that. He never revealed much about himself other than the made-up human story, and so it felt wrong to even touch on establishing a relationship. Because it would have been based on lies, and he didn’t want that, even though it had to stay that way.
With time, he became certain that he wouldn’t hurt you, even when lust-crazed. He would know, you spared no efforts trying to get him there. Whether you edged him for hours or begged him to fuck you while you two were dancing, you had understood two things about him: he’d never say no to you, and you were safe in his embrace.
This made it even more cruel that he never expressed how he felt about you, nor did he let you do it. You would look into his eyes with such endearment, and he’d kiss you to shut you both up, or you would cry his name as you came and while he chanted his love for you a thousand times in his head, he prayed that you wouldn’t say it. Even though he knew you felt it, and even though you never defined what you two were.
You had never expressed that being an issue for you, and he didn’t need to define it because he knew what you were to him. If anything, he knew you loved him because your blood told him so.
Not that he had ever tasted you like that, of course. He had grown confident that he could control that aspect of his nature and keep you safe and blissfully ignorant. Your blood still sang to him, though, but that was not an issue. It called to him, but it wasn’t what shot him up to the sky, letting him float among the stars under the glow of the moon. That elation that accompanied touching you, making his heart sing, had nothing to do with the prospect of sinking his teeth into you. It was just quite simply the way you were together; it was just you. He couldn’t get enough of your taste, be it your fruity slick, your flowery-scented skin, or your ambrosia-like kisses. He was so in love with you, that spending his nights by your side was all that mattered, blissfully ignoring the elephant in the room.
At least until that conversation reminded him of all this, only for your sweet smile to make him forget all about it as soon as you opened the door for him.
“There you are,” you quipped, throwing your arms around his shoulders.
He held you and gave you a quick peck before coming inside.
“I always ask, but,” you started, already in the kitchen while he took off his shoes. “You’ve eaten?”
“As always, I have.”
You shrugged and grabbed a Twinkie. “I blame your schedule for my midnight snacks.”
He agreed and joined you on the couch. “I’ll take responsibility and make you burn the calories.”
He winked, and you chuckled with your mouth full; it was adorable. You hugged a pillow and put your feet on his lap, and he took them to press the balls of your feet. It was almost routine by now — you trained in high heels, and he massaged your feet.
“How was your day?”
You swallowed hurriedly to answer him, “I met Jiyu to hash out the last details of our summer trip.” You reached for the cup of iced tea you had left on the coffee table to push the cake down, waving your hand as though much had been said, but you weren’t going into details. “She insisted again that it wasn’t normal for you to not come along, and she went on this super paranoid tangent,” you laughed, putting the cup down. “She says that you act like a married man, always leaving, not introducing me to your family, never joining us on our trips, and I just had to laugh because she’s so dramatic.”
You were laughing with it but he couldn’t match you. He only pursed his lips for a moment, “It’s silly.”
“Right? I mean, we’re too young to get married, and we’ve only been together for like five months, and…” You paused, seeing that a light demeanor similar to yours could not be found on the other side of the couch. Jimin looked rigid, staring at your feet without ever stopping his digits digging into the sole of your foot. “Just because she is marrying her high school sweetheart, it doesn’t mean others have to do the same as her.”
You pulled your foot from his touch and he gritted his teeth, but kept his eyes low.
“Then she was going on about how it could be fun to go on double dates and so on, but don’t worry, I shot her down. You don’t have time for that type of thing.”
“I work at night.”
“She suggested during the day, but I told her you were a night owl type of guy.”
You got up from the couch, taking the cup with you to pour the tea down the drain and rinse it, and he stayed behind. He couldn’t think of anything to say; he didn’t want to admit he’d been lying, but he didn’t want you to think he didn’t care. He cared, so he couldn’t make it serious. He couldn’t go on trips with your friends or meet your family, and certainly not introduce you to his. This way, he could make sure that one day you could walk away and live the rest of your life in peace.
Which was ironic considering the way his heart was tightening painfully from just feeling the slightest disconnection between you. He didn’t want you to misinterpret him or distance yourself, so how would he ever let you go?
The cup clinked as you put it down, drying your hands with a towel. “So, as you know, I’ll leave tomorrow.”
He got up to join you, suddenly restless. The detachment in your voice was like a jab to his heart, and when your eyes raised to his, he felt it more sharply.
He grabbed your hands, and you looked down. “Will you come water the plants? The week I’m gone?”
“I’ll come every day,” he said quietly, hurting with the way your eyes stayed hidden. “I’m not married, and I don’t have anyone else, I’m just—”
He hesitated, and you offered, “A night owl?”
He nodded, looking away and pressing his lips. He gripped your hands, struggling with what to say and what path to take when you smiled.
“You’re not ready, it’s fine. I get it.” Your tone was soft, but he could see through you in the rigid lines of your face. “I have friends that dated for years and never introduced their partners to anyone, it’s fine. I mean, they’re not together anymore, but—”
His lips crashed to yours, his hand darting to hold your head in place when he suddenly backed off with wide eyes and blown pupils.
“What?” you asked, gripping his arms unceremoniously. You wanted him to kiss you, you didn’t know why he stopped. Thinking about all this made you insecure, so you needed to feel him close.
He licked his lips and looked at your mouth, and for a second, you thought he’d ravish you.
But then he raised your chin. “You picked skin on your lip?”
You pressed your lips. “I… do that sometimes—”
“You can’t. You can never hurt yourself like that again. Okay?” His tone was firm and commanding, and you blinked up, slightly befuddled by his strong reaction. He caressed your cheek. “What if it scars? Or hurts? How would I kiss you?”
“You’d have to wait,” you mumbled, seeing the worry in his watery eyes.
“I can’t, I need you.” His quiet confession made your stomach fuzzy as he kissed your lips again, groaning into your mouth.
In seconds, you were lost in the kiss and sitting on the counter with your legs around him. He kept tracing his hands over you firmly, possessively, and you matched his fervor. You could swear he felt insecure as well, and you didn’t want him to. You loved him, wanted him and a future with him, dreaded the upcoming week without him, and didn’t want him to feel uncertain about you.
But you realized that he wasn’t ready to talk about feelings or relationships, and while a year ago you would have shot down the notion of being with someone without knowing where you stood, with him, you just… Let it go.
Because everything felt so right as he picked you up and carried you to bed. He undressed you and revered every inch of you revealed to him, and as always, you felt special, seen, and important. All you needed was for him to look at you like that, with such longing, and touch you with such care, almost like he was thankful you existed. It was selfish, perhaps, but you had never felt that way before, and it wasn’t just him. You knew you reflected that same myriad of feelings in your eyes, in your touch. It didn’t matter if you were yet to meet his parents or become officially his girlfriend or if he was too busy to go on trips with Jiyu. This was your decision, and you would pick him, always.
You welcomed his kiss, and although normally, Jimin would take his time preparing you and worshiping you, he couldn’t wait this time. He aligned himself with your entrance and pushed in, settling as deeply as you would take him. It forced a groan out of him and a moan out of you, but when he looked at you, he knew you were fine; better than. You crossed your legs behind him, and he knew that expression of yours; you wanted to feel him, and he wanted nothing else.
Your heart and blood were calling to him louder than ever before, and he knew his was answering the same way, even if you couldn’t hear it. He could only show you, which was why he was fucking you hard, grabbing the back of your neck to him so you’d let him nuzzle your jugular as he thrust into you frantically. The slap of skin wasn’t enough, not even your moans were, so he suckled your skin, just to feel your heartbeat in his mouth. It was the closest he’d ever be to tasting and hearing your love, and it drove him wild. He needed you. Needed you in his life, in his mouth, in his body, and in his own blood. Needed to be a part of you, your life, and your body. He needed to mark you just as much as he needed to love you, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell you, even if he heard your love in your sweet heartbeat and smelled it in your blood. He couldn’t tell you, especially because he could. Because you already loved him, but you didn’t even know the truth.
Your voice vibrated on his lips as you moaned, tightening your warm, velvety walls around him as you sank your nails into his shoulders, and he closed his eyes. He knew you were about to find rapture, so when you jumped, he tumbled right after you, mixing his moans with yours as he came, trembling, same as you.
Your heart was racing as you kissed his head, caressing his hair gently, and he stayed put, just listening. He didn’t know how to keep you by his side, but he just couldn’t lose you.
1 month earlier
You were happy that night when Jimin entered your bed, slipping in behind you, hugging you awake.
You had met for training earlier in the night, and you had teased him relentlessly. With only one month away from the competition, you deserved compensation for your improvements, and you didn’t care about trophies.
He jokingly pointed out that he still caught you when you tripped, and you chuckled, “Maybe I do it on purpose so you’ll catch me.”
He hummed as though he wasn’t convinced, and you bit your lip.
“So come over and give me everything I deserve?”
He sighed at your pout, and you smiled victoriously when he said, “Maybe.”
You knew he was busy helping Hoseok with the competition, since it was happening at the gym. They’d pull all-nighters to get everything ready, and that meant you had less time with Jimin. You missed your movie nights and star gazing. You missed him, it was hard for you.
Jiyu had noticed his absence and your sadness, but even she had to admit it was likely tough for Jimin. “Plus, he’s participating, can you imagine? Must be super stressful.”
You sighed and snuggled closer to him; what mattered was that at least tonight he’d sleep at home. Or rather, with you. You finally felt at home.
Despite settling quietly behind you, Jimin was hard, and you weren’t shy about rubbing your ass against his crotch to make double sure. He groaned quietly with his hand on your waist, and you wasted no time, pulling your pajama pants and underwear down your legs.
He groaned into your hair when he felt your soft, warm skin, and you pleaded, “Please.”
You knew you had him when his hand traced your curves under your shirt to squeeze your breast and tease your nipple.
“My little light,” he sighed, making you squirm. “I missed you.”
You were easily set ablaze, dragging his hand lower to settle between your legs. “I missed you, too. Please.”
His fingers were quick to catch your wetness and spread it to your clit, and you closed your eyes as you gripped the sheets. No matter how much you enjoyed it when he gave to you, focusing on your pleasure before his own, that was not what you needed tonight.
“Jimin,” you called, writhing more into his chest. “Fuck me. Please.”
He must have expected and welcomed your request because he didn’t waste a second. His lips pressed to your neck as he opened his pants only to enter you, groaning softly in your ear in tune with you. He knew the way inside you now like the back of his hand, just as he knew how to give you exactly what you wanted.
You needed to feel him hard and deep. You needed him to cover you with love bites just so you had something other than the soreness between your thighs to remember him by once he left at dawn.
You moaned when he gripped your hip harder, melting and tightening around his cock. You loved it when he fucked you like this, a steady rhythm meant to make you feel good and drive you both insane as the two of you teetered on the edge of your volatile emotions for as long as possible. Only tonight you knew that wouldn’t work for either of you; you were bound to pop quickly out of sheer longing. Distance makes the heart go fonder and all that, which right now meant that you were craving to cream his cock and hear him groan his pleasure in the form of your name as he nestled inside you, filling you with his cum. You wanted it enough that the slightest touch turned you on — and he was slamming into you full force.
You moaned his name and worked against his ruts to feel him as deeply as possible. “Fuck, don’t stop,” you pleaded, feeling a gut-ripping fire start to flare in your lower stomach. It was going to blow and take everything with it, and you wanted nothing else. “Harder, please!”
You loved when he bit down your neck as he fucked you so hard you saw stars; it was perfect. He was still the Jimin you knew, the one you wanted, yours—
“Fuck, I’m—” Your words vanished as you moaned, your mind slipping past you with your orgasm as you kept mumbling, “I love you—I love—”
You groaned harder when a prick on your neck made you squirm a little, but instantly the bee sting-like sensation vanished as your orgasm took a new breath. Something exciting and exhilarating was making you soar high. It was as though you were floating as your heart pumped pure bliss, nearly exploding with happiness. Your only thought beyond the white waves of pleasure was that Jimin was right there with you, joining you, taking this leap together. You could feel him coming deep inside you as his arms kept you tethered to him, and you needed nothing else.
Coming down, you were like a feather waiting for the breeze to gently put you down. Of course, Jimin couldn’t wait to kiss you, so he turned your head up to connect your mouths. A ferric taste invaded your tastebuds, but you thought nothing of it. Not until he pulled away with wide, spooked eyes and you frowned. What was that on his mouth?
You whimpered when the stung-like sensation returned to your neck, and you touched it. It was wet, and you knew that smell.
You got up from bed. “Ah shit, it’s going to stain the pillows—”
Suddenly, the world was spinning, and your head was too light. You frowned as you stumbled, but a firm hand grabbed your arm to keep you steady.
You smiled, about to thank Jimin for catching you, as always, when your eyes fell on the mirror and found a gruesome image: your white pajama top was crimson because you had two small holes in your skin, pouring blood down your neck. Behind you, Jimin was hugging you to him, and his mouth and chin had traces of crimson.
“What the fuck?” You moved away from him to see better in the mirror under the moonlight, but he didn’t let you go.
“Wait.”
You tsked, “You bit too hard!”
You faced him in the mirror, a bit angry, and he couldn’t meet your eyes. “Let me close it.”
You blinked, stupefied by his answer. “What?”
“Here, just let me—” He leaned down into your neck and swiped his tongue across both holes, and you shuddered from head to toe. “There,” he said quietly, and you pressed your hand to your neck in bewilderment.
He stepped away, and you looked in a mirror; you still had blood stains all over your skin and clothes, but you weren’t bleeding out anymore. Because he licked you.
What?
You spun on yourself, frowning with a surge of questions rattling in your brain, only for them to abruptly stop. Jimin was gripping his hair a few meters away from you, and he looked absolutely panicked.
“What just happened?” you asked, as though you needed him to confirm it, else you would start thinking you were imagining things.
“I bit you,” he mumbled, glancing at you before looking away. His eyes glistened with such emotion, your heart tightened in response.
Still, you shook your head. “Yeah, but why go so far?” You looked at your white pajamas as though you needed to confirm the evidence was still there.
“Because I fucked up!”
He was clearly anxious, and you blinked a few times, bafflingly waiting for more information. He didn’t open his mouth, so you insisted, “Well, okay, but why? I mean, clearly biting me like this without asking me first—”
“Asking?!” He turned to you with wide, glossed eyes, and you frowned again. Why was he looking at you as though you had lost your mind? “What the hell are you saying?!”
“Well, obviously! I’m okay with you having a bite or blood kink or something, but you have to talk to me first so that we can—”
“Stop! Okay, stop, just—”
He covered his face with his hands as though he needed a moment, and the silence in the room almost made him believe time had stopped. If it weren’t for your heartbeat.
He fucked up. He tried so hard to pretend you could be together, to convince himself that he wouldn’t hurt you, that you were safe, that—
He sighed. He tried so hard to convince himself that he wouldn’t have to tell you.
He opened his eyes. “It’s not a kink. I’m not human.”
You raised your eyebrows. “What does that mean?”
You were confused, but at least you gave him the benefit of the doubt instead of laughing. Maybe now you could sense the danger you were in.
“I’m a vampire.”
Your eyebrows skyrocketed as you eyed him from head to toe, and then frowned. “What?”
“I’m a—”
“No, no.” You waved your hand as you squinted your eyes. “You’re— You’re a specimen of a fictional species?”
“Now you know we’re not just fictional,” he replied darkly.
His lips pulled back, his tongue licked over his teeth, and then you saw them — his teeth were different. It was as though they elongated seamlessly before your eyes. They were still crimson with traces of your blood.
“You need blood.” You shook your head. “I mean, you— You feed on people?”
“No,” his answer was sharp and firm. “Of course, there are instincts and appropriate places if— No, I don’t. I haven’t in years.”
You stayed quiet, eying him as though you could catch him lying. “You did bite me.”
“It’s not the same.”
“How?”
He heaved a deep breath. “You’re— You’re not just someone I want to—” Your eyebrow twitched, daring him to speak openly, and he did. “You’re not someone I just want to play with for the thrill. You’re not someone I want to risk killing because I lost control. You’re not someone I want to endanger or bring into this world to just get torn apart by—”
His features twisted into a grimace as he stopped himself, and you observed as the conflict continued, hurting him inside and out. You didn’t know what he was talking about, you couldn’t follow his train of thought.
“Is that why you never told me? Or maybe it's the opposite.” You looked down, remembering a talk you once had with Jiyu. “I’m nothing serious to you, so why bother telling me. Right?”
He was already shaking his head before you were done. “No, not right. If you were nothing serious, I wouldn’t have bothered even looking at you twice.”
“But you never told me.” You shrugged.
“For your safety.”
“Knowing would put me in danger?” You arched a skeptical eyebrow. “How would anyone know I know?”
He chewed on his lip. “That’s not the only problem.”
“Then what is?”
You crossed your arms over your chest and, as the seconds ticked by in silence, felt his cum starting to drip down from inside you.
You huffed and searched for your underwear and pajama bottoms in between the sheets. His eyes stayed on you as you put your clothes back on. He also tucked his dick away and composed his clothes, but he didn’t answer your question.
By the time you were left standing, looking at him again, the quiet had already chipped at your patience. “Maybe the real problem is that you can’t seem to be honest?”
His jawline hardened. “I just wanted you to be safe.”
“From what?”
“From everyone!” He threw his hands up at your caustic tone. “From everything, from hurting, from— From me!”
You crossed your arms over your chest again. “Well, that didn’t work, did it?”
He growled and turned away, and you bit your tongue. You were angry, but saying that did not help.
“I shouldn’t have said that, I—”
“No, you’re right.”
You instantly straightened your back; his tone was cold and detached as he turned back to face you.
“It was the one thing I wanted. To keep you safe from this side of me. I thought I could do it because no matter how good you smelled, or sweet you tasted, I stopped wanting your blood long ago.”
Your heart was beating harshly, anxiety gripping you as you waited for the other shoe to drop. “Then… What happened tonight?”
He pursed his lips for a moment, and you saw his inner battle before he looked away. His eyes held resolution when they faced you again. “You spoke your heart, and I… couldn’t keep it in anymore.” You were confused, and he chuckled, “It’s not your blood, or rather, not to feed. I didn’t want to feed on you, but I do want… to bite you.”
Your heart pumped strongly inside your rib cage, a mix of relief and —oddly— acceptance spreading through your veins. “That’s… that’s fine, I—”
“That is not fine.”
His tone was so absolute that you frowned. “What? Why?”
“Because you have no idea what it means.”
He turned away to leave the room, and you followed him, confused and agitated. “Well, because you won’t tell me! Maybe if you told me, I could decide differently, but—” He started putting on his shoes, and you sucked in an aggravated breath. “Won’t you face this with me?!” You couldn’t believe he wanted to leave instead of explaining everything to you properly. “Besides, it’s my body and my blood! Shouldn't it be my decision?”
He only glanced at you, a single look worth a thousand words — you had no idea what you were talking about.
“Fucking explain it to me, then,” you bit back at him as he grabbed the doorknob and stepped outside.
He turned to you with such a blank expression, your anger made you clench your jaw.
“This was a mistake on my part.”
“Biting me without warning? Sure—”
“Letting this… happen.”
He waved between you, and you weren’t sure you were breathing right or hearing properly, but suddenly, there was an agonizing sting in your chest.
“I should have known it wouldn’t work out. It was naive of me, I’m sorry.”
Your disbelief and pain morphed your features, but before you could say something, he was already stepping back and away.
“Let’s stop it here.”
It took you a second to react, but you did. “Wait!”
But stepping into the corridor, you saw no one. You looked both ways, confused, but then the building's front door slammed from the floor below yours, cutting through the silence, and you gritted your teeth.
You threw on a coat to withstand the November cold and a pair of boots for the snow and ran after him.
Or so you thought. Thinking about where you should go made you realize you didn't even know where he lived. It never bothered you as much as it did now as you kept running.
But at least you knew where he worked, and it wasn't far. You saw the building lit up like a mirage in a desert of snow and made your way straight for the twenty-four-seven gym.
*****
Hoseok frowned as the doors that led to the staff area slammed, but he didn’t have time to say or do anything because, suddenly, his priorities shifted. His mouth salivated as his vision narrowed, a tension tingling down his spine as a sweet scent hit his nose. His first instinct was to rush to the reception counter and check the surveillance cameras — maybe a human had gotten hurt, though it was weird because—
You rushed through the automated front door with conviction, scanning the lobby before turning to Hoseok, who was speechless. He instantly could tell that you were the problem; how could you smell so sweet?
“Is he here? Is Jimin here?”
Hoseok was already stepping toward you with his hands in the air to stop you; this was bad. “Are you hurt?! You have blood—”
“I'm not hurt,” you cut in, and the scrutiny in your eyes froze him midway. “How do you know about the blood?”
He could see that your coat covered you from ear to knee. So he could follow your train of thought; how would he know of any blood, unless…
“You're one, too?”
Your question interrupted whatever excuse he was about to give.
He eyed you a bit reluctantly before nodding. “You smell strongly of blood. It's dangerous, you—”
He stilled again with a shudder down his spine. He could feel someone's eyes on him and knew that he could not touch you. No matter what.
Hoseok’s erratic behavior or the fact that you also didn't know that he was a vampire didn’t seem to bother you.
You shook your head to focus. “Is Jimin here? Did he come here?”
Your voice wavered with a cry, and Hoseok glanced back before focusing on you. “Did something happen?”
“He told me he's—” You swallowed. You were trembling along with your voice. You gripped your cold fingers. “He left. We—”
Hoseok did not react; he didn’t really understand what you were saying, and your presence there was too dangerous.
You brushed your palms down your face to wipe the tears and tried again, “We've been… seeing one another for… almost a year, and he never told me he… isn't human, and tonight… he bit me.”
Hoseok’s eyes glistened, but he stayed put. “I'm sure that was very traumatic.”
“What?” You frowned, confounded, even as he kept an expectant gaze on you. “I'm not traumatized! Or scared! Or in danger!”
“You don't know about—”
“Shut up!” Your outburst quieted him and you groaned, “I'm sorry, I just— I'm tired of being told I don't know. Of course I don't know! He didn’t tell me anything! And now he ran off without telling me anything! Does that make sense?! With one breath, he says I'm not just anyone, and with the other, he fucking leaves me without any explanation!”
Tears broke down your face again, and this time, you couldn’t help your grimace, turning to hide it for a moment. It hurt you so much. It was so confusing but the more you had time to think about it, the more it hurt.
Your shoulders shook with a sob. “I love him— I told him as much, and now— It's like I have no idea what is happening.”
“Hey,” Hoseok said from behind you as you sniffled and tried controlling your bawling. He was trying to calm you, whispering as you cried, but he couldn’t move, not even one step closer to you.
You turned back to face him, with red eyes and wet cheeks. “You're one, too,” you sniffled, “so tell me the truth. Is it me? Did I do something? He said we were a mistake, so— Is it because I'm human? I don't understand; does it matter?”
Hoseok shook his head. “It's a personal thing. Some will never think of a human beyond prey while others can… see more when they find someone special.”
His tone was gentle, but you didn't catch what he meant; you simply pressed your eyes with your palms to hide. “So I'm neither. Not a human to feed on and not special enough to learn about him.”
“You can't make assumptions like that,” he tried, worry marring his features, and you sniffled and cleaned your face again.
“He left me. Assumptions are all I have.”
“I'm sure he'll talk to you when he's ready,” Hoseok was confident as he declared this, and you shook your head.
“He looked at me like I… was already worthless,” your voice broke down with new tears, and Hoseok raised his hands again, but you stopped him. “It's fine, I… I'm emotional right now, I… I should think about it, too, right? I mean… I love him, but do I even know him?”
Hoseok’s expression hardened. “You do.”
You pressed your lips with skepticism. “Thank you for listening, Hoseok. I… I'm happy you were here.”
You waved weakly and left the same way you came, and Hoseok stayed put, watching you go. “Should we keep an eye on her? At least until she makes it home?”
“She lives just around the corner, and I can hear her heartbeat,” Jimin said, pushing the doors out of the staff area to join Hoseok in the lobby. “I'll hear it if something happens.”
Hoseok’s eyes were inscrutable. “So you did bite her and drink her blood.” Jimin pressed his lips and tried stilling his tongue from licking around to get more of your lingering taste. “And she's still walking about,” Hoseok declared pointedly, then insisted. “She didn't bleed out.”
“Of course not,” Jimin scowled, annoyed that Hoseok even mentioned it. “I closed the wounds.”
“Oh, of course,” he said dramatically, placing a hand over his heart. Jimin’s expression stayed harsh and Hoseok rolled his eyes. “She wasn't scared of you or upset by the fact that you bit her, so what is it? Why are you running away from her?”
“Because it’s not safe for her.”
“You closed the wounds instead of feeding on her.” It was not a question but an attempt at making the younger vampire realize what he had done. Seeing as Jimin’s expression was unmovable, he sighed, “Are you sure she's not safe with you?”
“I bit her!”
The disgust twisted Jimin’s face and Hoseok was unfazed. “So?”
“I could have killed her!”
“Could you, though? You closed the wounds so easily… meaning you didn't want to feed. You want to mark her…” he hummed in thought, and Jimin bit down on his lip. He couldn't deny it, and so Hoseok continued, “That's why you bit her, but you were able to stop and put her first. Because she's yours, isn't she?” He kept probing, trying to get Jimin to say it, but he remained quiet. “Are you sure you would hurt her?”
“I just did!”
Jimin’s annoyance flared with a deep hate, and Hoseok hummed, “Sounds to me like you hurt her more by hiding your nature from her. You heard her — she loves you.”
“Well, she shouldn't!” he finally burst out, with glistening eyes promptly hiding as he turned away. “She doesn't know me!”
“I wonder if that's true,” Hoseok said calmly, contrasting with Jimin greatly. “If you're also hers, and all that.”
A shudder warmed Jimin's blood at the thought, but then he shook his head. “She wouldn’t know.”
“She might. She's a muse, after all.” Hoseok’s voice had a tone of wisdom, and Jimin didn’t bother denying it. “They probably sense these things.” Jimin was looking away, but Hoseok was happy he said it; it was important for Jimin to think about it, too. “You're sure you didn't mark her?”
“No, I… stopped in time.” He swallowed hard as he remembered.
Cumming inside you was bliss, but doing so drunk on your blood while you chanted your love was euphoric. He had been completely overwhelmed, with both your loves crashing inside his chest, stealing his reason. He loved you so much, he—
He cleared his voice, “Why?”
Hoseok’s eyes were still on the door. “She… smells sweeter.”
Jimin's fists closed by his sides as he searched inside his chest and focused. He could hear your stable heartbeat and sense you were arriving home safely, but that was it. What if he had hurt you in ways he couldn't sense? More than breaking your heart, what if he had done enough damage that you wouldn’t be able to walk away unscathed like he promised?
“I… I'd feel it, right?”
Hoseok finally turned to him. “I don't know. We don’t know anyone who has found their muse to ask, either. Besides, you already love her. I'm not sure if a bond would feel much different.”
Jimin closed his eyes with a muted groan and raked his hands through his hair multiple times; he had loved you for so long, it felt like his whole life. He also didn't know if there would be a difference.
“What are you going to do?” Hoseok asked, and Jimin stopped to look at him. “You can't leave her in the dark like that. You can't.”
His insistence printed on Jimin's heart, but he still looked away. “It's better this way.”
“What?” Hoseok frowned. “Why?”
“It's not safe for her.”
“Sounds to me like she's safer with you than anyone else. No one dared to come near her with you around, even when she smelled so injured and sweet.”
Jimin pressed his eyes for a moment; he couldn't help it. He could hear the other vampires in the vicinity, the same as Hoseok. The humans, too, same as everyone else. But it was his kind that smelled the traces of blood on you, which could have been dangerous, but not while he emitted such an aura — he would destroy whoever would dare to touch you. As simple as that. He couldn't control it, you were—
He sighed, “I'm keeping her safe. It's my fault she was bleeding, so…”
“So?”
“I have to protect her.”
“Do you?”
Jimin huffed, starting to dread Hoseok questioning his every thought.
“I mean, sure.” Hoseok shrugged. “She smells sweet, but no one would dare harm her in this neighborhood. You know our rules.” Jimin's jaw twitched, and Hoseok wondered, “So why do you think she needs protection? Maybe you could kill two birds with one stone and protect her while you love her.”
Jimin's jawline hardened. “I can love her from afar.”
“But why would you? Seems to me like she wants you close.”
“We can't be together,” he whispered, and Hoseok chuckled. Jimin insisted, “If she becomes mine… her life as she knows it will end. Eventually, at least. Family, friends… she'll have to let go of what she knows. She won't ever build a family. She'll have to sacrifice everything and step into this dark world she doesn't understand.”
“Sure… But you're her fate,” Hoseok said casually, and Jimin couldn’t deny it, even if he looked down. “Maybe she doesn't even want all those things humans want. Have you asked her?”
Jimin's lips pursed before he pressed them quickly. Hoseok didn't wait for an answer; he patted Jimin's shoulder and got back to his place behind the front desk, leaving the youngest to his devices. He knew Jimin hadn't asked you. They both knew there was so much left unsaid and unexplained by Jimin, just as they knew why that was.
Jimin was too afraid of your decision.
>Click here for Part 2<
#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts smut#bangtan sonyeondan#bts#ao3 fanfic#bts x fem!reader#bts x you#bts x reader#bts angst#bts fanfiction#park jimin#masterpost#bangtanwhq#lo1k-diamonds writes 💎#thebtswritersclub#jimin bts#bts jimin#jimin#jimin x reader#jimin smut#jimin fanfic#jimin fic#bts fanfiction down bad#bts soulmate au#bts vampire au#vampire jimin#human reader#bts vampire#ksmutsociety
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I said I do it and this is me doing it.
On Mai's half-assed redemption arc..
We all noticed it. We all (hopefully) didn't like it, let's talk about it.
Unfortunately, Mai is currently the main love interest for Zuko. And I say unfortunately not because I don't ship Maiko (I don't, but that's irrelevant) but because it's the reason why they screwed up her character. Zuko is Good™ and so his love interest needs to be Good™ too. It's why the creators are finally trying to actually redeem her instead of ignoring her bad actions during the war, like they've done up until now.
So why am I complaining? Well, in case you're new here, that's just pretty much what I do, in general. But also, it's because they aren't really fixing anything. Let me explain.
See, redeeming a character implies that we are adressing their actions, holding them accountable, expecting them to do better and them actually doing better. Mai's redemption arc is failing to follow this plan at the very first step.
Mai's role in the war was greatly affected by her friendship with Azula. Had she been a nobody noble that Azula wouldn't look twice at, she'd never be recruited and wouldn't have any impact on the battlefield. Being friends with Azula is what upgraded her from a bakcground character to a side character. Does that mean Azula forced her to do it all? No. I'm not having this conversation again. Mai asked to join Azula and both girls visibly had fun. Mai made her choice. Now what should be done is to hold her accountable expect her to do better and ultimately get redeemed. Only problem? Well...
This. Creators seem to think that since Mai had the opportunity to do bad stuff because she was Azula's friend, then by making the friendship "fake" and "forced" that makes Mai's actions be Not Her Fault™. After all, she could only do those things because of Azula, so if her frinedship with Azula isn't real then that means that she was just plaing a role and her actions aren't really her own, right?
youtube
Sorry to let you know, Mai dickriders, but that is simply not true. For multiple reasons. First being; her friendship with Azula was not fake. The narrative might be trying to push the agenda that it was forced, but you can't seriously believe that Mai didn't grow to care for Azula and vise versa, as is made obvious by the moments they share physical affections and laugh together at a joke Mai cracked.
Sure, the motivation for the relationship may have been gaining power, but the end up liking each other, and Mai joins Azula on her mission as willingly as she later does the bad things she ends up doing. And with great pleasure, may I add. That's right, Mai enjoyed doing evil things. She smiled in anticipation of beating down Earth Kingdom soldeirs and laughed at the fear Azula instilled in others.
In case you needed a reminder.
In any case, whether or not the friendship of Mai and Azula were sincere, Mai did bad things that she needs to be held accountable for if she's ever going to be truly redeemed. You could argue that she was "forced" to do it by Azula, but then anyone else could argue that Azula was forced to do it by Ozai. Truth is, both were urged, gently or not-so-gently to do bad things that they ended up enjoying doing because they got pleasure out of instilling fear on others because they are the villains of the show. One can't just brush all of Mai's actions under the rug to "purify" her of the bad things she willingly did and enjoyed doing. You wanna redeem her so bad? Do it properly.
Thus proven.
#mai#mai atla#atla mai#mai meta#atla meta#azula#atla#avatar: the last airbender#avatar the last airbender#a:tla#atla comics#ashes of the academy#aota#ashes of the academy critical#mai critical#the comics suck
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Devil Venerable Also Wants To Know : A Review
So I generally don't do reviews. But going through the tumblr tag and then on AO3 and seeing the abysmal amount of posts and fanfics, I am writing this review in hopes of someone reading this and then getting convinced by my agenda.
Because Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know deserves to be read by yall.
IT. IS. SO. GOOD.
To summarize, we start with the leader of the demonic Xuanyuan Sect, Wenren E, getting a copy of a trashy romance novel, Abusive Romance.
What baffles him is that he, a logical, rational person who has never felt love in his life, is the second lead and falls in love with the Mary Sue female lead and gives up everything for her and dies in the end for her too.
What makes him even more confused that after he dies in the novel, his loyal subordinate Yin Hanjiang is driven to madness and is hell bent on revenge, pursuing the female lead to kill her.
Wenren E decides that this cannot be allowed. He is not afraid of death, (although he does mind that it was for a stupid reason and not on his own terms) but he very much minds the fact that his subordinate went insane after it. So he sets out to re write destiny.
Now let's talk about the highlights of this book
The Characters
DVAWTK is full of interesting, fun and exciting characters who will remain etched in your memory. Whether it is the sensuous, ruthless and ambitious Shu Yanyan or the wise, perceptive and kind Zhongli Qian, there is a multitude of characters to pick from to love and adore and all of them have deeper and hidden depths that give them layers of complexities.
Not to mention, DVAWTK has several strong and amazing female characters. I have mostly read MXTX books and this is where she lacks the most: hardly any strong female characters. She writes shockingly amazing characters but most of them are male and I mostly don't mind but I do wish I got some great girls to cherish in there too.
Cyan Wings does not disappoint in that aspect. All their female characters are wonderfully well fleshed out. Especially Baili Qingmiao. Seeing her go from the biggest girlfailure to an absolute girlboss over 70 something chapters is satisfying in a sense the way, and I quote the book here, "one feels about their first daughter finally grow up" Chef's kiss truly.
The Plot
The plot is engaging but nothing too crazy, if I am being honest. Apart from a couple of reveals and plot twists that were shocking, it mostly stuck to a more or less predictible story line. That does not mean it was not good; it was. Most of the arcs keep you engaged enough to keep reading without being able to put the story down and tie into each other seamlessly. As such, there are no plot holes and stupid or unnecessary story lines. It works very well to support the characters and their personal growth and arcs.
The Humour
Top notch. So well done. Got me laughing out loud multiple times and earned me a lot of weird looks from my roommate but all worth it. SVSSS was the funniest work I read but DVAWTK gives it a run for its money in terms of the comedy it has and also it's general unhinged-ness, mostly thanks to it's characters. Everyone at the Demonic Xuanyuan Sect is a goofball although they are not trying to be. The skeleton lady Qiu Congxue has no brains. Literally. A ghost ate it so you can guess just how well she is faring in the books.
(she still is immensely powerful tho)
The Romance
So far the biggest freaks I had found while reading Danmei are Mo Ran and Luo Binghe.
Yin Hanjiang is a hundred times worse.
He is an absolute psycho, a complete nutter, powerful beyond comprehension and hopelessly devoted to Wenren E. And Wenren E, once realising his own feelings, thinks it is all so hot!! (makes you really wonder just who is more insane among the two)
My subordinate wants to destroy the entire cultivation world after my death? He has my full support that's so cute of him <3
Freak4freak with some very beautiful and tender moments and an absolute badass power couple who kick ass together in battles. Truly amazing. I love love love wenrenjiang.
The World building
Wonderfully well done and also easy to follow! I especially liked how cultivation was viewed from a different light in this novel and how the book explores the ways it is actually harmful to mortals. I actually learnt a lot about various cultivation stages from this novel and came to understand some common aspects of xianxia novels. DVAWTK uses many technical terms in terms of cultivation and it is fun to read and learn about it
Found Family
Need I say more? Like what's better than a bunch of idiots coming together and growing on their journey thanks to each other? *gently holds Su Huai, Baili Qingmiao, Qiu Congxue and Zhongli Qian in my palms* they are so important to me
Final Thoughts
DVAWTK is a great read with a very satisfying ending. It keeps you hooked till the very end and I am honestly surprised it is so underrated. I am very glad it is getting an official translation soon so hopefully, it will amass more readers although the unofficial translation I read is also very good. It deserves way more hype and fans then it has because it's so silly, so good and so well done. Ugh I hope it also gets some kind of adaptation some day to make it more popular because it deserves it all.
Please read this novel. That's what I want to say. You will not be disappointed.
#devil venerable also wants to know#book review#danmei#cyan wings#wenren e#yin hanjiang#wenrenjiang#dvawtk#danmei review#danmei recs#xianxia#this review is spoiler free
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criminal minds 18x05 the brutal man thoughts behind cut. SPOILERS
the whole format of the episode made me wistful and sad. because it was like those previous episodes where jj would rehash a case over with will in order to work through her feelings. and now will is gone. ;_; so she had to find someone else to do it.
of course jj wasn't ready to come back to work, but i liked the convo between her and emily, and emily very wisely said there was never gonna be a right time. that first case back for jj was always going to be tough. i think this one probably skewed a little bit worse even because of the family aspect, but still.
speaking of emily UGH she is such a good leader!! she tried to force jj to take it easy, but jj insisted on going on the case, and emily was like ok. i'm gonna give you this, let you work it out. because jj is totally the type of person that needs to work it out on her own.
ochoa continually bringing up god/religion lowkey PMO. this is my own baggage as an atheist, probably, but i hate it when religious people keep dragging religion back into it. "oh have you tried prayer" get the fuuuuuck out of here with that. honestly it all rubbed me SO wrong that i started believing the theories that ochoa is in voit's network, LMAOOO. because i couldn't believe any normal person would keep pushing religion on someone who said multiple times she didn't have that faith/didn't get comfort from religion. even though i know there are actually a lot of people like that and i've met them. "do you think will is in heaven?" is honestly a fucked up unsub question. i'm fully on the Ochoa is in Voit's Network bullshit now because otherwise she just seemed SO fucking off to me in this whole thing with JJ. if she ISN'T an unsub she's just really really weird!!! am i alone in this and reading too much into it? or did she seem weird and off to anybody else??
i love how i still don't know how much to trust what we're seeing from voit. is he being 100% honest? or is he remembering more than he's letting on, and he has a secret agenda? is all the suicidal stuff legit, or a ruse? i think his grief about realizing who he is is real, for now, but i wonder if he will move past that or not. IDK I just don't know if he's being totally truthful, which i think is really cool actually, they are unfolding the story so well because i am constantly guessing at what's going on in his head!
okay. Agent Milquetoast. that guy. MR BLAND HIMSELF. wanted a threesome, and wanted it so aggressively and annoyingly, that emily broke up with him?????? frankly it's SO odd that i.. don't believe it. i'm gonna headcanon that emily made it up because she wanted to make jj laugh or something. because I hated mendoza and hated him with emily, but there's a reason I call him Agent Milquetoast. that guy is blander than a slice of wonder bread. LOL.
omg is jj wearing will's ring on her other hand?? D:
tara calling jj "jennifer" :( tara pls.
cute jet banter moment with the team :D
i really like the luke, tyler and jj team up!
we got more garvez crumbs in the promo images than the episode itself. lol when will my ship return from the war?
loved the cuts between the past story and current with jj, very fun with the mirroring of poses and movements
penelope was so cute this episode! and once again the entire case was cracked thanks to her, even though she was only in the episode for like 3 minutes total. i hate how "returning to a classic CM style story" means "penelope is in the episode less". sigh
omg tyler's barely restrained rage at being face to face with voit again, with voit being like "oh i remember ur sister" was SO GOOD. i was like phew y'all better get voit away before tyler bodies him.
voit hugging jj and saying he was "sorry for everything"??? OH MY GOD. that was wiiiild. that's one of those things honestly that has me thinking he's faking/playing things up??? because that's craaazzyyy.
i feel like this episode's purpose was a lot of setup for whatever comes next. with finally capturing someone from the network and whatever conversation he'll have with voit, that should unlock the next chapter of the story.. which i am eager to get to!
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How would you rewrite Chloe’s arc in Season 2?
So, personally, I would've just gone ahead and redeemed her. There are various reasons to do so.
She's strongly color coded for Bee, suggesting she would get it. It would be weird if she didn't (shame they didn't do the same to Nino, especially learning that Peafowl wasn't even lost originally, it was added to Volpina last minute).
There were promos and building up confirming she was going to be a hero, and implications that she was going to be part of a team and working with the heroes.


And with the introduction of Lila, and the implication that she was going to be a new antagonist, you didn't need two mean girls to be against Marinette. Much less sorta 3 with Kagami who dabbles in the mean girl trope. Only exception is to have multiple mean girls is to have them face off against other characters than just Marinette, but they're set on that so there should be some sort of change.
Chloe getting a redemption and being a hero is a natural go to.
So Chloe's redemption, I believe, should start off with a loss of power. Something that will humble her for she cannot continue as she is.
And as I've talked about using Lila to push the agenda of Chloe's redemption before, let's talk about another option: using Audrey herself.
Audrey easily could've been another means of pushing the Chloe redemption agenda. She could've been a solid foil to Chloe, by being mean and ruthless, but she's actually hard working, dedicated, and lives with integrity for her career. Things Chloe is not.
And excited to have her mom here, as this is love not freely given, making Chloe want it, it's dashed when Audrey is unimpressed and unhappy with Chloe and how she is.
For not only does Chloe not do her own work and lives live in leisure laziness, living off her parents hard earned money (at least in Audrey's case), but having the audacity to steal another inspiring designer's design and hire an designer to copy it at a competition that Gabriel Agreste hosted (Audrey's never been so embarrassed), Audrey is here to give her entitled daughter a reality check.
She cuts Chloe off on all of her enjoyments.
Sabrina is banned from the hotel. The butler is expected to go over Chloe's work to make sure it is hers and not Sabrina's.
Chloe is expected to get a part time job. She wants to spend money, she needs to spend her own. She'll get the rest of her saved funds at 18.
And, Chloe is to get involved in the fashion industry. If she's going to tarnish it with her laziness and arrogance, she's going to work to make up for it. Specifically, she is going to approach the girl she stole from and make up for her actions.
And at first, it's all terrible for Chloe.
Homework is hard. It's bad enough that Chloe has to stay after school to get a mentorship by the teachers (as no student wants to mentor her, except for Sabrina, who isn't allowed near her, and Adrien but he's busy). At first, Chloe did discover that she could trick Bustier into doing her own homework for her, but Audrey caught on quick and mean Mendeleiev took over.
The part time job was impossible. Chloe kept getting fired. But it wasn't her fault!
Most customers were beneath her service!
They couldn't expect her to touch out of season clothes!
She had to leave work early because she got dirt under her nails. A clear emergency.
There was no way she was going to wear a hairnet, that was going to ruin her hair.
Chloe was just starting to think her mother would let it go when Audrey put her foot down and had Chloe work for her own company, and Chloe was not allowed to quit or be fired, and was to do the work or else she wouldn't be allowed in her own suite. She would have to sleep on the second floor suites.
The threat was scary enough for Chloe to suck it up.
And the worse one... Chloe needed to go and make it up to Marinette. Chloe dragged her feet on this so much that Audrey dragged Chloe there, apologized to Marinette first, then pressured Chloe to apologize. She told Marinette that Chloe here was to work for her and make up for her dishonesty. When Marinette tried to back out and say it's fine, Audrey insisted.
And so Chloe become Marinette's assistant. She would model for her. She would go fetch materials Marinette needed or help carry things when Marinette went out shopping.
It was weird for both girls and neither of them liked it.
But under Audrey's critical eye, Chloe kept up with all these awful changes to her life, but at some point, there was a shift.
Chloe was able to solve a problem without Mendeleiev's guidance. She did it on her own. She... actually felt proud of that. She wondered what else she could solve without the teacher... Oh! And she'll have to show this off to Adrien and Sabrina tomorrow!
At her part time job, Chloe got her first paycheck. And that felt really good. Money she earned herself. This was hers. Not her father's. Not her mother's. This was Chloe's own money. She was so happy that she, weirdly, didn't feel like spending it. She wanted to hold onto it.
And, extra weirdly, she and Marinette are... talking. They're discussing the big name fashion designers and their thoughts on them. They share their criticisms, or the ideas of what they would like to see. Chloe is even sharing her own thoughts on what Marinette creates and Marinette listens and considers it. And Marinette has actually crafted attire and accessories with Chloe in mind, something that is just gifted away, no strings attached, given from someone that doesn't love her unconditionally like her father does. It kinda... felt like it mattered more. Daddy gifts her items so freely that many of those items she just throws away, but anything Marinette gives doesn't feel like that.
Gosh, who knew Marinette had actual tastes? And she didn't quite mind being around her.
Chloe had to wonder what was the world coming to?
Chloe though did still keep her mean streak. Anyone that irritated her or when she bored, she would pick on. Though when Marinette said soemthing, she backed off a lot more than before. She reasoned it's because technically her 2nd boss. But it did make her annoyed. And Cesaire's smug face added to it.
But one day, Lila starts to mess with Marinette and without thinking, Chloe intervened, roasting Lila while she had the chance. It ended poorly as Lila became an akuma and came after her, but Ladybug offered Chloe a lot of praise, much to her glee. And then, Ladybug presented Chloe with a little box.
A box that evidently held the Bee Miraculous.
"Honestly, you're more wasp than a bee," Ladybug said, the box still in hand.
"Excuse me!?" Chloe gasped in full offense.
Ladybug continued, "But I think you're on the way of becoming one. And maybe Pollen will help you get there."
The box was set in her hand, opening on it's own, and in a flash of light and a warming greeting from a little bee thing, dawned the day Queen Bee arose to work with the heroes, bringing her own mean sting to the team.
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The Quarry and queer-baiting
It's a pretty known issue within The Quarry fanbase that this game basically set us up with two gay couples for them to just... not happen. In fact, it's almost as if the game rubs it in the players' faces that they don't, won't, and can't happen, besides the first half of the game setting them up rather clearly. It feels like the writers completely abandoned the idea halfway through, or for some reason just wanted to draw players in with the concept of queer relationships/characters just to rip it away in the end.
Disclaimer: This topic has been in my rough drafts for like, nearly two years at this point. I updated and added some stuff, but forgive me if I missed any crucial details.
So in the beginning, a lot of people wind up shipping both Ryan x Dylan (Rylan) and Emma x Abigail (Blygbank). Let's start with Blygbank since it's the shorter of the two.
So we do establish that Emma had a boyfriend, but the keyword is "had." To be fair, Jacob and Kaitlyn talk about it for the entire first section and that's the whole reason this game even happens, since Jacob wants another shot with Emma. So this straight couple is obviously very prominent. But, throughout the entire game, from multiple characters (Emma herself, Kaitlyn, Dylan, Ryan), it's repeatedly stated that Emma wants to move on from Jacob. Then we're introduced to Abigail, who's first scene is of her drawing a sketch of Emma. It's established that Emma and Abi are good friends. Maybe Emma and Abi will start a relationship? But, then we're introduced to Abi's crush on Nick. So I guess that idea just got blown out of the water...
To be fair, Emma's lack of interest in Jacob and Abi sketching Emma all happens very quickly within the first chapter. Perhaps it's the players' fault for jumping to that conclusion so quickly... but still.
What's more disappointing is that Abi and Nick are basically useless after chapter 6. There is actually yet another opportunity to develop some Blygbank relationship, but once again, it goes nowhere. Nick is bit and infected and starts acting absolutely horrible toward Abi, which very noticeably turns Abi off from him. Then Nick disappears for the rest of the game. But given Abi survives, she'll have another opportunity to have some alone time with Emma. Yet nothing of actual importance is discussed here. Not Emma kissing Nick. Not how Nick treated Abi. Not where Abi and Emma's relationship stands. Not where Emma and Jacob's relationship stands. We do get a moment where Emma reveals some of her true colors and she says that she needs Abi and she's been great to her, but once again, this goes nowhere. I guess we could see this as romantic, but Abi kind of seems just tired of and annoyed with Emma at this point and doesn't comment much about any of it. Basically there's just no conclusion. We have literally no idea where their relationship stands, romantically or otherwise. It's a huge missed opportunity.
While you can't get both of these scenes in the same playthrough, they do also push the Blygbank agenda. If you can get the "Nobody's Fool" route where Emma and Jacob reunite and Jacob tells her the truth, Emma will be completely and entirely done with Jacob. No more joking, no more mixed signals, she's just done. Which is kind of where the entire game was leading to from the beginning anyway, but this route gives it to us loud and clear. This accompanied with Abi and Nick going south again leaves us with a Blygbank option, but obviously, we get none of it. I know there's not much time left in the game by the time any of these scenes happen; maybe this is something else that could've been developed if we got any post-credits scenes, police interviews, I don't know. Again, maybe I'm reaching way too far with this one, but I think there's pretty good reason to ship Blygbank and assume maybe that's the direction they planned on going in. But I digress...
Onto part two, we have Rylan. And... Ryka? I have no idea what the ship name for Ryan x Kaitlyn is and I don't know if shippers for this couple even exist, so I'll just call them Ryka. And they're not a queer couple, but it's necessary to talk about the two at the same time.
I'll be honest, during my first several playthoughs/watchthroughs of The Quarry, I had no idea Kaitlyn was interested in Ryan. They do not do a good job of establishing that at all, and you can very easily miss every single opportunity for it to be brought up until chapter freaking nine. So honestly, Kaitlyn is pretty much a non-factor here. Dylan's crush on Ryan is very vocal and obvious, and the two are paired up very often throughout the game. Even if Kaitlyn's crush on Ryan was more well-known, Dylan is still the more obvious one between the two because, again, Dylan and Ryan are always paired up together.
Ryan is rather... uninterested in everything and everyone. But between everyone, he seems closest to Dylan. Of course, this can depend on how you play as both characters. You can make them argue A LOT, and Ryan won't always say the "I'm a bit closer to Dylan, I guess" line, but regardless, there's some scenes with them being close that will always happen. The most prominent scene between them is when they're walking to the radio hut and Dylan actually opens up to Ryan about who he is and what he likes to do. Ryan will have unwavering, non-negotiable interest in Dylan as a person here. Sure, they CAN kiss at the firepit, but Ryan can also choose to kiss Kaitlyn. They can joke around about the Bizarre Yet Bonafide podcast name, or they can't. They can agree over the gun, or they can argue instead. Ryan can cheer Dylan on or rush him. They can grab the phones and go or Dylan can annoy Ryan so much, he'll yell at him. Point being, there's a lot of options you can take with their relationship. You can make them close or you can make them bicker. Regardless, Dylan will remain interested. And regardless, they will have this intimate moment together on the way to the radio hut. Point being again, it's veryyyy obvious this a queer relationship in the making. Justice Smith is even a queer actor, and Miles Robbins is a very vocal supporter of the LGBTQ+ community.
Then Laura comes and fucks the whole thing up. And I love Laura, mind you, but for some reason the writers decided to take this whole ship and spin it on its head when Laura arrives.
Before we get into the Laura segment, let me point a few more things out. I personally thought that Ryan was maybe oblivious to Dylan and Kaitlyn's feelings, didn't really know which one he liked more, or most prominently, maybe he was asexual. When Emma tells him to kiss either Dylan or Kaitlyn, he asks if he can kiss both. I thought that was kind of an odd thing to say unless he either liked both or just didn't care. Also, he can ask Laura, "You're doing all of this for a boy?" He really seems like he doesn't understand this kind of love or investment in another person romantically. Upon discovering that line, I pretty much accepted Ryan as asexual.
But then he's not asexual. And he's not oblivious to Dylan and Kaitlyn's feelings. And he's not interested in either of them. According to Justice Smith himself, when Laura asks Ryan who he likes more and he answers with "Maybe neither," it means that Ryan has a crush on Laura. And I truly don't get this, for several reasons. For starters, yes, Laura is doing all of this for a boy--her boyfriend, Max. She literally has a boyfriend already. And Ryan already had a thing going with Dylan. So why, seven whole chapters through this entire game, giving us LauraMax and Rylan, do they suddenly pair together Lyan? It's just a creative decision I will never understand. Maybe if Laura and Max had broken up, but still. She's not reintroduced until chapter 7 so we've already had six chapters of Rylan still. Maybe they could have made it more obvious from the beginning that Ryan wasn't interested in Dylan or Kaitlyn, but they just didn't do that. They particularly paired Ryan and Dylan up all the time and made them close. So, I call queer-baiting.
Of course, Lyan never goes anywhere. The only ending you can get that involves any kind of romance is actually Laura and Max reuniting. Laura and Ryan's romance happens in basically two seconds and there's barely any romance to even speak of. Laura does flirt with him a lot, but I believe that's due to the werewolf curse, as she stops that kind of behavior after her curse is lifted. They do seem to be close friends by then, she just doesn't flirt anymore or make weird comments. And really neither does Ryan. Sure, you don't always get the "maybe neither" line and you can choose less flirty options sometimes, but then they have a whole ass The Lovers card. So it's extremely obvious what the developers were going for. I just don't understand why suddenly go for this couple eight chapters through after already establishing a gay couple with Ryan himself and Dylan.
The only other thing we get on this matter is Dylan and Kaitlyn discussing Ryan's relationship with Laura on their way to the scrapyard. The most positive outcome for Rylan here is when Dylan says he and Ryan got close and Kaitlyn tells him "There's always next year." So it does give a bit of hope to this ship, leaving it open-ended despite the sudden occurrence of Lyan. Of course, you might not always get these lines, and Dylan and Kaitlyn can both agree "screw Ryan" and move on. So... I don't fucking know. It's like they purposefully set players up to support this clearly laid out queer ship of Rylan to then make it all insanely confusing and open-ended and piss people off. I think they really fumbled the bag with this one, and it's why I have a hard time shipping Ryan with literally anyone. It's all just a confusing mess.
I'd definitely say that the whole Supermassive Games chain of video games definitely got less queer-baity and more queer accepting over time. Just a few months later, The Devil in Me is released and they give us a Lesbian ship with Jamie and Erin. Also, with the Until Dawn remake, they cranked up the Jemily and Climbing Class. Not by much, mind you, but regardless, they acknowledged the popularity of these queer couples in the fanbase and added some crumbs for the players. It makes me wonder if they'll ever delve on Blygbank or Rylan in the future. I'm doubting The Quarry will ever get a remaster/remake with added content like Until Dawn, but who knows, I guess. As I said, both ships are pretty much left open-ended. But for now, I think The Quarry has a serious problem with queer-baiting, or maybe they just had no idea how to handle writing queer characters. I really don't know.
Lastly, none of this was supposed to be negative or attacking any single one of the ships mentioned in this post. I don't know how anything I said could be interpreted that way, but you never know. This post was just supposed to be informative. I hear a lot of people criticizing the queer-baiting within this game, as they should, and I decided to make an informative post covering all of the points and how I believe they screwed up the opportunities to put in these queer couples and somewhat alienate their queer audience.
Link to part two here.
#the quarry#the quarry endings#supermassive games#horrorgames#the quarry essay#the quarry rant#rylan#ryka#lyan#ryan x kaitlyn#dylan x ryan#ryan x dylan#ryan x laura#blygbank#emma x abigail#ryan ezrahler#dylan leviny#kaitlyn ka#laura kearney#max brinly#lauramax#laura x max#until dawn#until dawn remaster#until dawn remake#climbing class#jemily#queer baiting#queer couple#queer ship
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Okay, i found you cause of the elden ring dlc fuckability list. Then i read the other one because 90% YOU'RE RIGHT!! HOWEVER
Where is Blaidd?! Where is Kalé?! I NEED TO KNOW! Are there more lists and i missed them??? CAN YOU DO THIS FOR OTHER FROMSOFT GAMES????
Ask and ye shall receive BECOME BESOTTED BY A THOUSAND CURSES.
For the record I used a pairwise website to rank every single NPC (and invader) in the base game against one another, which was 91 NPCs for a total of 4,095 cross references I had to make. It took 2 days back to back to go through them all. I hope you're happy. (I am. I got to think about Elden Ring character's fucking for 2 days straight. I do that for fun already. I ain't even getting paid.)
Here we go. We are:
Ranking all Elden Ring Base Game NPCs by Fuckability. PART 1 of 4
The rules for this one are a little different. This was more of a "who'd be a better partner" tournament where I compared two NPCs at a time, and ranked them by total point value.
This is both my personal subjective opinion on who is the most fuckable, and also objective inarguable reality because I am always right.
I'll rank every NPC and give them PROS and CONS of dating/banging them. Most of my major turn offs are usually:
How stinky they are. (come on guys, shower.)
How morally reprehensible they are in-universe (do they have a justifiable reason for their actions)
How racist/sexist they are (against albinaurics, misbeggoten, omen, ext,ext.)
How crazy they are. (would they kill me during/after)
Most of my major turn ons are usually:
How stylish they are. (charisma factor.)
How kind to others they are in-universe. (Like, would they theoretically be a good romantic partner.)
How much of a personal bond they have with the player. (Sometimes loyalty to a specific character is just too strong to ignore.)
How crazy they are (It can be hot if utilized correctly.)
This is assuming each character is capable and willing to have sex, or willing NOT to kill you long enough to finish.
This is gonna be broken into multiple parts since it's so long.
[PART 1 (91-66) | PART 2 (65-37) | PART 3 (36-11) | PART 4 (Top 10)]
Let's go on an Elden Ring dating sim shall we?
INNELIGABLE :
Aurelia and Aureliette:
Reasoning: Are dead children.
Jar-Bairn:
Reasoning: Is a child filled with other dead children.
#91: (Last Place) The Three Fingers
Pros: None Cons: Wants to burn the entire world.
Reasoning: The world is where people live, people that you can have sex with. Bottom of the list, easy. Two in the stink and also one in the stink because this thing sucks.
#90: Shabriri
Pros: Has the body of Yura. Cons: Doesn't have the mind of Yura (Also wants to burn the entire world.)
Reasoning: Self explanatory. He wants to burn the world, he pretends to be a feminist to earn your trust, and he isn't even gonna use Yura's body to fuck. Absolutely pathetic.
#89: The Two Fingers
Pros: None Cons: Level 5 Racist. Too Catholic, Boring.
Reasoning: These things spread the awful propaganda and agenda of the Golden Order and the Greater Will, two things that suck. It's not even a cool fleshy monsters, it just rotting mushrooms.
#88: The Loathsome Dung Eater
Pros: At least he's doing it to bad people??????? Cons: You know why.
Reasoning: He sucks. I'm all on board with the "kill all the bigots in power" thing he has going, but I mean... Jesus christ man.
#87: Sir Gideon Ofnir the All Knowing
Pros: None Cons: Lied on his resume, also did multiple genocides.
Reasoning:
His style?
WHACK
His schemes?
WHACK
The way he steals your spells without fighting the bosses?
WHACK
The way he disrespects and gaslights Nepheli Loux after murdering her entire clan?
WHACK
The way he murdered all those albinaurics for an artifact they would had just HANDED to him if he asked nicely?
WHACK
The way he doesn't actually know anything?
WHACK
Is my pussy wet and wide open? NO!
I'M TIGHT AS FU-
#86: White Mask Varré
Pros: He's mean to you. Cons: Covered in diseased bloody poop. Hates women.
Reasoning: This guy wants me to fight against the golden order, which I was already going to do anyway. He didn't need to kill all those maidens. Also he's covered in bloody diarrhea 24/7, that's canon.
#85: Nameless White Mask
Pros: Is exactly like Varré but doesn't talk. Cons: Is exactly like Varré.
Reasoning: Is exactly like Varré but doesn't talk. Same thick layer bloody diarrhea coating his entire body, but now with 33% less Varré
#84: Pidia, Carian Servant
Pros: None Cons: Is a mind controlling pervert.
Reasoning: This dude hides in the shadows and tries to make sex dolls out of innocent women like Ranni (despite the war crimes) and Nepheli Loux (despite the war crimes). He acts pitiful and preys on your sympathy while taking advantage of the vulnerable.
Honestly, incel behavior. 1,000 years jail.
#83: Sage Gowry
Pros: None Cons: Weirdo
Reasoning: Honestly I'm fine with the whole "is a bug" thing. But if you told me an old man was "raising" young girls until they "blossom" I'd call the cops. And in the lands between the only cops are the Omen Killers, so it falls to me to raise my own blade and protect all the Scarlet-Rot-Lesbians™ myself.
#82: Preceptor Seluvis
Pros: Is not at fault, is just a mind controlled puppet. Cons: Is a mind controlled mind controlling pervert.
Reasoning: He's basically just Pida in a big hat. The hat is rad, don't get me wrong, but not enough to forgive his fatal levels of heterosexuality.
#81: Maleigh Marais, Shaded Castle Castellan
Pros: Has a cool sword. Cons: Is a toxic incel.
Reasoning: Wasted all his time and money simping for a woman who never even knew he existed. Lives in a diseased poisoned castle and his entire family line collapsed after one dude telekinetically stole their sword. Do you know how many dudes with telekinesis I have to put up with on a daily basis? Absolute loser.
#80: Bloody Finger Nerijus
Pros: Has a cool knife. Cons: Is part of the blood-poop cult.
Reasoning: I like your knife dude, but please take a bath. We fought in a literal river, and you still couldn't dodge roll the stink off. I ain't fucking you again dude, stop asking.
#79: Inaba, Disciple of Okina
Pros: Is a samurai Cons: Is a samurai covered in blood-poop and is a follower.
Reasoning: This guy had the chance to be cool, but got sucked into Mohgs(now Miquella's) blood-poop MLM pyramid scheme. And not by Mohg or even by Varré, but by OKINA of all people. This is the guy who gets stuck with 30 pallets of unsellable leggings and a crippling gambling addiction.
#78: Bloody Finger Okina
Pros: Is a samurai Cons: Is a samurai covered in blood-poop
Reasoning: Dude, you could literally be doing ANY other samurai shit right now but you are just killing random people on a desolate snowy mountain-top in the name of a mind controlled loser who already forgot your name. Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow.
#77: Sanguine Noble
Pros: Is at least trying Cons: Is part of the blood-poop cult.
Reasoning: Exact same as Nerijus but at least he helps lead you to Mohgs palace. He gets like 5 more seconds of consideration before I dump him.
#76: Esgar, Priest of Blood
Pros: Likes Dogs Cons: Is part of the blood-poop cult.
Reasoning: Hey at least he has dogs. Dogs covered in blood-poop but a dog is a dog.
#75: Necromancer Garris
Pros: None Cons: Is a bad dad.
Reasoning: Don't make a flail out of your family's skulls. It's not goth, it's murder. (and even if they are just made to RESEMBLE his family it's still creepy. You ain't daddy, you ain't even a dad.)
#74: Flame Guardian
Pros: None Cons: You forgot this guy existed right?
Reasoning: Not wearing appropriate PPE for his job. Uses a torch-pole in an endgame area, and is a mindless follower to a spin off religion of a spin off religion of a fake religion. It's like he WANTS to be forgotten by the wikis.
#73: Chief Guardian Arghanthy
Pros: Has a shield that is also a gun. Cons: Loyal to a fake religion.
Reasoning: The fire monks are some of the biggest losers in the Lands between. Oh you dedicate your life to protecting the dumb catholic tree from the fire that literally NEVER dies out? It's like Sisyphus but he wasn't sexy.
#72: Rileigh the Idle
Pros: Is a goth assassin Cons: Is a catholic goth assassin
Reasoning: The confessors all suck. They sneak around and kill innocent people on behalf of the Golden Order. How can you run around holding the stinger of an actual god and still believe in a totally different god who left for milk and never came back? Take off the crepus vial and make some noise while we fuck, honestly.
#71: Inquisitor Ghiza
Pros: Has a cool weapon Cons: Got kicked out of two loser cults.
Reasoning: He was too much of a loser for Castle Marais, and then tries to kill you even if you join the Recusants. Dude, i'm on your side, put down the pizza cutter.
#70: Gatekeeper Gostoc
Pros: None Cons: Robs from poor, gives to self.
Reasoning: Imagine Patches with zero rizz. I ain't fucking this dude, he feels like he lives in his parents basement, but is also not paying them rent.
#69: (Nice) Master Lustat
Pros: Sellen Approves of him. Cons: Is made of rock and is probably dead.
Reasoning: Back in the day, when he WASN'T a rock, he was probably a stuffy old codger who cared more about magic than people. But if Sellen approves, I'd take him over anyone else lower on this list.
#68: Ensha The Royal Remains
Pros: Is goth Cons: Is loyal to Gideon, emotionally unavailable.
Reasoning: Look, we are finally getting to characters I might actually sleep with. But being goth only gets you so far. You work for Gideon? You try to kill me when you could just let me open up the Haigtree path and follow? Do you have any original thoughts in your head? You can't be goth AND be shackled to the system man.
#67: Primeval Sorcerer Azur
Pros: Feels chill, Sellen Approves. Cons: Is made of rock and is probably dead.
Reasoning: Same as Lustat, but I just get better vibes from him. Maybe it's the green tone of his crystals, maybe it's the cool spell he gives, but honestly, it's probably because he's in the Hermit Village, where misguided but well meaning Sorcerers are at least TRYING to reach out to the Demi-humans. Who knows, maybe he was chill.
#66: Finger Maiden Therolina
Pros: I could fix her Cons: Can't be fixed.
Reasoning: She's a mindless puppet and that's sad. It's too late for a real relationship, but call me crazy, a tarnished without a maiden, a maiden without a tarnished... there could have been something there... two ships passing in the night I guess.
Continued in Part 2: ->
Why did I do this again?
Part 3 -> Part 4 ->
#The wrong images are used intentionally for comedic purposes#if i hear any of you fucks in the comments asking why I will personally kiss you on the mouth but in a clearly passive agressive manner#Elden Ring#elden ring shitpost#shit post#do not take this seriously#vulgar language#Ranking Elden Ring NPCS by Fuckability#From Soft#Elden Ring NPCs#sir gideon ofnir#white mask varre#preceptor seluvis#meme#Bloody Finger Okina#Bloody Finger Nerijus#shabriri#from software#elden ring memes#Rey Rapids#rey rapids but gayer#Gatekeeper Gostoc#Sage Gowry#Pida Carian Servant#Maleigh Marais#The Loathsome Dung Eater#The Two Fingers#The Three Fingers
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Pit Babe 2, ep 6
Live Reaction Thoughts
Standard warning applies: may will contain inconsistent punctuation/capitalization, talking to myself, talking to the characters, rampant speculation, and many many questions to self.
How much did Charlie hear?
Nothing I guess, if he’s seemingly believing Willy’s version of events.
hmmm
I didn’t realize Babe had gone so far as to text Willy back? I thought he was just checking his alibi.
“he’ll come back” not if he’s kidnapped first! because this show would totally pull that trick
so Charlie really does believe that Babe was going to cheat, based on this conversation with Jeff
listen to Jeff, Charlie
ugh Willy is persistent
oh Babe’s reached his limit :(
This fight is amazing and painful to watch, on multiple levels - The show not acknowledging that Babe was assaulted really messes things up too. Babe is apologizing for too much, Charlie thinks he was one step away from cheating, and nothing Babe is saying is proving anything different. From Charlie’s perspective, everything Babe is saying is the reason he’d seek out someone else.
And all of Babe's insecurities over the experiment are coming out too.
sigh
ooo love a leg shot
Oh great, Charlie’s gotta choose between Babe and the experiment? That’s going to go over well.
oh ouch, true but painful, Chris
I wonder if Charlie will actually choose the experiment over Babe. He clearly thinks he’s doing it all for Babe anyway. I could see him trying to justify it to himself.
Alan, you idiot, like Babe could resist tracking down Charlie now he knows where he is.
but he didn’t! we call that growth
omg a go cart race over Babe - so stupid (and also really funny)
FINALLY
confirmation that Willy is working for Tony
nice, Charlie followed him and knows that Babe was right about Willy
“Mama❤️” calling and left unanswered :(
Uh Alan, Charlie was the one not holding it together on the track the other day, not Babe.
yeah Sonic, have some faith in Babe
loved the symbolism of Charlie vs Willy during the race; Charlie wasn’t going to let him win or even get close to Babe
I kept waiting for Willy to time shift but he didn’t so that was interesting; wonder if it’s related to Tony telling him to leave Babe to him.
is sex the solution to relationship problems? no
are Babe and Charlie still in love? yes
was it hot? also yes
I guess we’ll see next week if everything is fixed now. (I’m guessing no.)
More [Coherent] Thoughts
Tony Mole Count: I think it’s safe to say now that Willy is who Tony was talking about. Unless the show pulls a fast one later and justifies saving Dean by revealing him as an actual mole in the team. And Chris seems to have his own agenda.
Pavel once again, delivered. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Episodes like this almost make me wish I was a meta writer. So much is going on between Babe and Charlie. I can see it, but trying to articulate anything coherent is proving impossible. (Also trying to pay attention to the show and write this recap up through a pain flare isn't helping.)
The problem with Babe and Charlie’s story being so emotionally dramatic, is that all the other relationships suffer from comparison. And since there are so many couples, it does them all a disservice. Not a fan of that aspect of the show.
That said, the moment when Chris pointed out that Way must have smoked was killer.
My Pit Babe 2 recaps: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5
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thunderbolts with bugs & spiders thoughts
(actually not agere specific but it's going in my 'they all live in the tower together' agenda sooo it will get tagged)
spider artwork creds


Yelena Belova -
Can handle them just fine, isn't the biggest fan of most bugs but has nothing against them. She has claimed a random spider she found in the tower as a pet though (she low-key has a habit with bringing pets to the tower so no one is really surprised)
Robert 'Bob' Reynolds -
Super calm, everyone assumed he'd freak (maybe they tried to play a prank or something by Yelena picking up her pet spider (NAMED NAT BTW) and trying to scare him and he just casually lets the spider crawl into his hand. Finds it funny that everyone assumed he'd freak out. "It's just a spider, what's so scary?" - Same reaction with pretty much any bug, very much gives the energy of "it's not hurting me so why would I be scared or hurt it-" & "but I'm so much bigger than the little guy"
John Walker -
Will screach. He was a military man- and he is not ashamed to admit that spiders fucking scared him (he is embarrassed but confidence is key - own it) As a general rule bugs don't bother him - unless they can fly, and then again.. he will screach.. and be mocked by Ava and Yelena for it.
Bucky Barnes -
He is too old for this shit (/silly but also /real) , he's not scared he's just.. indifferent to them? Like he has been through a lottt he honestly doesn't really care about a spider. He will tell Yelena at least twice a week however to put her 'pet' spider somewhere where John won't see because he's sick and tired of having to hear him yell about it.
Ava Starr -
Silent - she does not like them, however she is not about to start screaming, she simply won't make a big deal out of it. Has been stopped from hitting spiders with shoes by Bob who just calmly ushers the spider into his hands and takes it outside multiple times- Under Bob's request now if she finds a spider in her space and wants it gone she gets Bob to remove it because he hates the idea of an innocent creature being killed for just existing :((
Alexei Shostakov -
Laughs. Everyone kinda assumed he liked them until one day Bob tried to pass Yelena's spider into his hands and he dropped it immediately and SCREAMED like he was being murdered (which caught literally everyone off guard - Also Yelena yelled at him for dropping spider Nat.) He for some reason tries to pick fights with like.. every insect he comes across to the point no one on the team questions it anymore however it is in several news articles of people theorising if 'the red guardian can talk to bugs? And how-'
#💭 ; thoughts#📝 ; writing + hcs#❤️🩹 in the watchtower au#marvel#thunderbolts*#thunderbolts#marvel agere#thunderbolts agere#yelena belova#john walker#bob reynolds#bucky barnes#ava starr#alexei shostakov#im sorry this is literally so random but i had the thoughts in my brain so why not share#early hours in the morning thoughts lol
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do you have any books you'd recommend re: organized abuse? memoir or more general nonfiction... possibly worth noting that what i've read so far of e.g. judith herman (and other ~clinical texts) has not been very off-putting--i just skip the sections that aren't useful for me, lol. also: i always love hearing about the tea you're drinking! 🫖
I'm so glad that you're enjoying my posting about tea!
You've already read Michael Salter, whose book is of course my go-to recommendation for this. While the term organized abuse has been around for decades, Salter has really been the primary one using and advancing it; I personally think it's an extremely useful one, but you're not going to find a ton else using that frame yet.
I'm going to go on a bit of a tangent here. The term organized abuse lets us talk more neutrally and with less political baggage about different manifestations of abuse involving both multiple perpetrators and multiple victims. All the other terms out there for variants on these situations carry with them deeply problematic and obfuscating associations and agendas (in my opinion), and many of those terms also hinge on assumptions about perpetrator intent/motivation, which I think always has issues as a means of categorization, though of course I support survivors using whatever words feel best and more accurate to them to describe their experiences and I think there can be utility to different terms in different settings.
Salter talks really helpfully on his website about his reasons for using the term organized abuse rather than the more popular/well-recognized 'trafficking' or 'exploitation,' and in general I think his blog posts address a lot of important questions about this categorization, including actually directly talking about the ongoing conservative use of organized abuse-related conspiracy theories as a destructive rhetorical tool (grateful that someone is doing this so I don't have to). I also come back to his continuum of control strategies all the time to think through things.
That said, while I really wouldn't recommend most material that uses the term ritual abuse as its categorizing description, I have gotten a lot out of Sara Scott's The Politics and Experience of Ritual Abuse. Scott's book lacks quite the particular theoretical grounding which Salter is able to use so effectively to contextualize his material, and parts of her book feel quite outdated (the chapter on DID in particular), but she's similarly doing in-depth participant research coming from a personal position as a close loved one/caregiver to a survivor, and I appreciate her stance of just listening to survivors' stories and tracking patterns from analytic meaning-making perspective. I do need to reread this one so I can be sure I stand by everything I'm saying here.
Beyond that you get into more overtly clinical texts which pose various significant kinds of problems. I get a lot out of Adah Sachs' work, but it's really densely clinical (much much more so than Herman who does have a general audience in mind) and a rather pointed intervention with very specific psychoanalytic debates about dissociation and attachment; it's not a general exploration of these topics. Harvey Schwartz frequently goes completely off the rails though he has flashes of valuable insight.
I have some issues with Alexandra Stein's Terror, Love, and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems but there's some good material there.
There are a lot of complications as far as publication of memoirs of organized abuse, and I'm not really comfortable recommending any of them for a variety of reasons, including that's it's typically unclear to me whether authors would be comfortable using that term to describe their experiences.
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Why in the hell did everyone overexaggerate like that? Even the podcast wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be. And why did everyone even made it about themselves without listening to the full fucking podcast? This is why listening comprehension and staying in schools is important, so people would know to what they are reacting. This was also a good lesson on who to follow tbh. I have seen like 3-max 4 blogs who came out to say they listened to the full podcast and offered context, yet the biggest gr blogs and accounts didn't even want to look into it and spread that whole 'omg george is a trumpist' agenda just to jump ship. Very nice to know who some people are
Oh for multiple reasons
Firstly because everyone is lazy and media literacy is at an all time low. The number of times I saw various people mentioning the podcast clip in a way that made it clear they hadn't listened to it themselves and had just read a description and taken it in the worst faith interpretation possible. No one wanted to wait until they SAW the DTS clip, they wanted to jump to the quickest conclusion they could in order to join the crowd.
Secondly, because ragebait equals clicks. The article the quote came from was itself painting George as a villain. The very next sentence said he committed the heinous act of "flicking landos hat off his head" in hindsight THAT should have been the tell to treat it with caution. But getting people angry about something on social media gets clicks and reblogs and replies and engagement. People want to follow the crowd, they don't want to go against the grain because they're scared of the hysteria turning back on to them. Everyone's figured it's safer these days to assume the worst of everyone rather than hope for the best. I read SO many people listing the good things he'd said and done and then reaching the conclusion that THEY must be the performative actions and the one comment was the defining feature of him rather than stopping for a second and thinking maybe it's the opposite and that they were rejecting the evidence of their eyes and ears in favour of hearsay.
But also because a large portion of people getting the most hyped up about it were just desperate for it to be true because it suited their agenda. No critical thinking skills applied.
And in the grand scheme of things none of this is important, but it's yet another lesson in Internet literacy and how noone is immune to propaganda. Yeah, be cautious, don't put your blind faith in anyone, sure it's not confirmation he doesn't hold ANY shitty opinions, just by virtue of being a human he'll have at least 5 if not more. Everyone's gotta start checking their sources, verifying their information and learn to stop letting speed of reaction be prioritised above all else. That goes for all corners of the Internet not just this one.
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hi kavi @blackwaves i had to go through multiple gymnastics to bypass tumblr shoving this post into the mature content label. for some reason 😭 LOL anyways. here's the answer to ur asks
ayatsuji yukito—bsd !
favorite thing about them: i would say his fashion sense but i am personally irked (/lh) by the fact that his checkered pants have a singular pocket. not even another to pair, it's just that singular one. oyoyo-sensei made him redeem himself by putting him in that black turtleneck and jeans thank god 🙏 also Love that harukawa-sensei gave him down turned eyes, incorporated that into my own drawings of him hehehd
least favorite thing about them: that he's locked behind gaiden with kyogoku. atleast tsujimura is animated and voiced </3
favorite line: "how lucky i am as a detective." (<- yes this is the fan translated line. yes i prefer it more than the official one. </3)
brOTP: ayatsuji and ranpo best friendism agenda where they're the only one who can catch up to one another but also are on the verge of bickering every other minute. you all will listen. i am also very adverse to ayatsuji and ango partnership
OTP: soutsuji. is anyone surprised really
nOTP: ayatsuji/kyogoku... </33 im sorry. it's so hard for me to picture them in a romantic context
random headcanon: somewhere, in a countryside of japan, lays the ruins of ayatsuji's childhood town. ayatsuji remembers most of his childhood peering through the glass windows of his mother's doll store, waiting for his father to arrive home. he remembers clinging a little tighter to the dolls in the store whenever a passerby gives him another nasty glare. it was always like that, ever since those accidents started. his last memory of that town is the pungent waft of iron, from the blood coating his head, dripping down his face, down his clothes and clutching onto his pale skin—and although his memory is crystal, even he cannot recall exactly what the townspeople were cursing onto him that night, he'd assume it to be vulgar nonsense. yet all his eyes could focus on is the moon, shining down onto his heaving body.
unpopular opinion: he doesn't look like dazai idk why some fans call him blonde dazai 😭 their hair is similar sure but it's not? exactly down to a t?? ayatsuji would hate his ass (/affectionate)
song i associate with them: toxic, britney spears / crooked teeth, death cab for cutie / picture you, chappell roan / so beautiful, dpr ian / caring is creepy, the shins
favorite picture of them: how could i not include the woof scene. also forgot to include this in tsujimura's answer but i am vol 2 cover's biggest fan, real not fake. i am also very fond of each scene where ayatsuji is seen smiling fondly, i will in fact be wailing and screaming and crying once the manga gets to That part at the end of act 5

kyogoku natsuhiko—bsd !
favorite thing about them: his philosophy! admittedly i didn't see his appeal until After i read the light novel, where at the time, the interlude chapter hadn't been adapted in the manga just yet. the interlude chapter is my favorite chapter in gaiden, because it gave me insight to kyogoku's philosophy and morals and why he decided to become "evil," and even debating if he truly is what society deems as "evil." none of you would understand the joy i experienced when i saw that the interlude chapter was adapted, jumped in the air and clicked my heels like a cartoon character fr. i LOVE kyogoku, the bsd antagonist of all time actually
least favorite thing about them: that he's locked behind gaiden with ayatsuji. asagiri let them out please. pretty please. pretty please with a cherry on top
favorite line: "let's raise the curtain of the next game, shall we—?"
brOTP: does kyogoku/ayatsuji fall under here? i yearn for the lore behind ayatsuji and kyogoku and how they fell out bc wdym he was your previous student. wdym ayatsuji jokingly called kyogoku "sensei" in the hbd mayoi event what. What
OTP: uhh. none really. does the crackship me and a friend made of kyogoku/fukuchi count yes or no (i don't ship it i just find it funny)
nOTP: again, kyoaya </33
random headcanon: kyogoku may not be seen by everyone else that isn't ayatsuji but there can be indicators. if the temperature suddenly drops, and/or if ayatsuji looks more pissed than before. another headcanon of mine is that he's multilingual, and can communicate with ayatsuji with not only tons of other languages, but also through codes and ciphers. it stresses tsujimura out whenever ayatsuji starts angrily tapping his desk glaring at empty air. also if he isn't at least 60 years old im going to crash out (/hj).
unpopular opinion: not an opinion but moreso a plea @ non gaiden fans when talking about gaiden. please include kyogoku. i love ayatsuji and tsujimura to bits too but please include kyogoku. don't erase the old man pls </3 he is so vital to their partnership guys please. please (begging for more kyogoku content
song i associate with them: monitoring, deco*27 / shanti, wotaku / jet ammo, dasu / thrills, cake / animal impulses, iamx
favorite picture of them: looked through his gallery and he's always grinning of some sorts. what is bro grinning for. why is bro so mischievous


#bsd gaiden#copy pasted everything like. 3 times LOL tumblr does not like ayatsuji's back#answering asks
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Apologies for the incoming essay... Re. Kant and choices and him choosing to involve Style - look, nobody's out here trying to say Kant's eligible for best friend of the year! But there does seem to be a lot of retroactive woobifying of Style, attempts to exempt him from the current tangled web, etc., when, lest we forget, he agreed to try and seduce a man FOR A CAR. He then proceeded to stalk said man, and to disrupt and exploit a grief counselling session FOR A CAR. Of course Kant shouldn't have involved him (but when your options are limited and you're desperate, you're not always thinking straight), but it was Style's own a) automotive greed and b) bruised ego (after their vehicular run-in) that got him where he is today. It was a bargain that he himself suggested - it wasn't even Kant's idea! Let's be honest, he could've just said nah mate, you're alright, and what could Kant have done about it? Style is not untouched by the taint! And that's okay - let him be messy too (the fact that he'd already had a couple of fraught encounters with Fadel even before Kant introduced them was a deliberate decision on the writers' part)! He had his own agenda going into this which he'd need to apologise for regardless of the added assassin shenanigans, and once he's in the know, he becomes as responsible as Kant for what happens next - they're both faced with the same choice: confess in order to try and keep the brothers out of jail, or stay schtum, despite their misgivings, out of fear for their own lives. And they both chose the same path. All four of them have been lying to each other from the get-go, for multiple complex reasons, some maybe more valid or understandable than others, but point is that none of them are squeaky clean and ALL of them bear at least some responsibility for the colossal shitshow that they now find themselves in! And that's what makes it good TV!
(I'd also like to point out something I find interesting, which is that Kant's rhetoric with Style has always been about looking out for number one - he tells Style he's doing it to clear his record, get those charges off his back, outside the restaurant he talks about having to prioritise saving your own skin over everything else, even though that makes him sound a bit cold...but he's not doing it for himself, is he? He's doing it for Babe. He's doing it because of the repercussions that would fall on his little brother's head if anything were to happen to Kant, whether that be jail time or an early grave (though I'm not saying he'd be a-okay with either regardless!). Babe has been his driving force the entire show (as yours and others' beautiful meta has explored) - Kant does the OPPOSITE of prioritise himself, and has done so since his parents died, and that's why HE'S in this mess in the first place. But, to the best of my recollection, he never invokes Babe when he's trying to win over Style, and I can't decide if that's because it's a line he won't cross (though he did sort of cross it when using Babe as an excuse at karaoke, or does that not count cos it was a lie?), or because he truly doesn't see himself as self-sacrificing so wouldn't even think to frame it in those terms to someone else. Or a combo of both!)
I think part of the reason the Kant slander (by which I absolutely don't mean legit critical analysis or taking the well-earned piss out of him!) bothers me is because I'm conscious that First is, at least to a degree, aware of the negativity (and tagged into some of it because ppl suck), which is why every time I look online he seems to be apologising on his character's behalf. And yes, it is in jest, but, knowing he's an inveterate people pleaser, I also get the sneaking suspicion it's also partly genuine, which makes me sad.
yeah, aaaabsolutely agree with everything you’ve said here. like i think the argument about style has more merit too it, but at the same time im still sat here thinking, what was kant’s other option? because bison gives him this stipulation: if you want us to date, you have to find someone for fadel. and kant cant just cut his losses and say okay, then i guess we won’t date. he has to get close, he has to get this information. so he has to involve someone else, retroactively. and we can argue about if he should have told style the full truth from the beginning, but not only do we see the captain specifically tell him not to do that, but i think kant is well aware it would not have worked if he did. style would have blown the operation out of the water way too soon, if he even agreed in the first place which the odds of him doing without having some investment into fadel would have been very slim! like it sucks, but realistically, what else could kant have done that would have allowed him to do what he needed to? what other choice did he have?
and like you said, style is far from innocent! none of them are innocent in this! thats the whole point! and that’s the big thing, too, because it’s meant to be this complicated messy thing. they subbed in the women from taming in the shrew for assassins because it allows for this intense sort of courtship that was brought on by misogyny in the play, while also allowing us to understand that fadel and bison aren’t innocent, either. that they’re all fucked up and messy in their own ways.
and yeah, i think getting into the babe of it all just isn’t something kant is willing to do for the most part. i think he tries to keep babe out of it as much as possible, but using him as an excuse to get out of there was the most realistic thing he could do, especially when bison has already seen that protective brother side of him. and i also think that kant just doesn’t view himself highly in general. he doesn’t think of himself as selfless or self sacrificing because he knows the awful things hes had to do in order to keep babe safe and in his custody - and while maybe for other people knowing it’s for babe would help his case, he doesn’t feel that way. because obviously he wouldn’t change it, but it doesn’t mean he liked doing any of it, that he likes the lengths he’ll go. especially when i think he thinks if babe knew, he wouldn’t like any of it, either. babe already didn’t like just the lying to bison. can you imagine what he’d think if he knew kant had drugged him once? if he knew all of it was built on a false start? kant probably thinks babe would hate him for it all as much as he hates himself for it.
and as for the first of it all, i do hope despite the media literacy some people lack in it all that he knows he did a fucking incredible job with kant. i say this as someone who has been making detailed posts about first’s acting since the eclipse, but i genuinely think this is his strongest and most nuanced performance. hes made kant so, so clear and easy to understand if you’re paying attention, and i love him so dearly for it.
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