#i have more written to some of these than i originally thought tbh

[evilkitten3]

someone's been liking a lot of my old posts relating to my attempts to rewrite fairy tail.... which, and this may astound you, is not actually a cancelled project in spite of the fact that it's been nearly a decade since i first started trying to figure it out

[thecherrygod]

Swap au Kim gets drunk and there's a sweet spot in which he's having the time of his life and manages to forget all that's fucked up in his existence just going with the flow and everyone besides him no matter who they are and how the treat him, but less drunk than that and he'll get sober too soon and everythings gonna hit him all at once making him feel twice as miserable, or he'll get even more drunk to the point it completely switches and the happiness and getting along with whoevers nearby morphs into over trusting and sad and as soon as someone is like "look man you're not fine you should go home" he takes it too personal and won't be against getting into fights

[andhumanslovedstories]

chapter eleven of what feels like the most soap opera ass fic I've ever written and then just a bunch of thoughts about writing it, which contains vague spoilers for my plans:

The inception of the fic basically went like this:

haha lol i'd be fun if sqq got real mad at the state of education

what would need to happen in this fic that doesn't happen in canon to motivate him to do something about it

oh shit he didn't unlock OOC so he has to figure out how to be his coddling indulgent self (which he's in denial about) while also being shen jiu

But the thing that really made the story get so much bigger in scope was when I was reading a fic with yqy coming clean to sj, and sj being like, "GASP. I forgive you." And I was "I simply do not believe that this is how it would happen." And I would have moved on with my life, but then I thought, "but like how would it happen." And more importantly, how could this conversation happen within the canon timeline but still involve Shen Jiu, the person this information affects.

The OOC idea and the need for Shen Jiu to be present in this fight scene came together to be like "what if sqq got sj's memories so he could rules-lawyer his characterization more accurately, and ends up being furious on sj's behalf?"

(This, btw, is why I knew I had to get much fonder of YQY and get a much better understanding of his character. When a pillar of your fic idea is a character getting ripped into for his choices, it is sooooooo easy to for it to come off as the author yelling their personal opinions or for it to be completely flat character bashing. Neither are interesting to read or write! Hence the crash-course in YQY appreciation, so now he gets his own emotional arc too. Everyone gets a goddamn plotline.)

Meanwhile I was also thinking about the implications of downloading another person's life into your head. If you have their memories and their body, are you them? What makes you not them? I didn't know! I sort of just kept writing and posting with the assumption that I'd figure something out, which I've finally nailed down btw. That's a relief! Also kinda the fun of WIPs where you're building the railroad track as you're on the train. I end up fanficing my own fanfic. Once stuff is posted, that's the canon, and I look at it and think, "if this was a book I was reading, what is the way I would extrapolate what's there to make a new but coherent story?"

That's why my outline becomes pretty useless after a while. The big picture doesn't change too much--I know roughly where all the major characters are going to be emotionally by the end of the story--but I discover the path I'm going to take there. Which usually means adding stuff. Liu Qingge wasn't going to get a POV, and now every chapter I'm like "fuck am I building a throuple". Ming Fan will have waaaay more a story line than I originally conceived. Early on, I was like "eh I'm not going to go too far into the brothel stuff," and can you guess what is going to be coming up prominently in the next few chapters? God help me.

Actually, there's only one major part of the outline that I cut: Shang Qinghua. He was originally very prominent early on, but turns out having the literal Word of God in a story about slowly discovering backstory is difficult to reconcile. So sadly, he doesn't get a real role. If you're curious, the original plan for him was that SQQ would realize he's a transmigrator much earlier in the canon, but the System would be like [shen jiu would not tell shang qinghua he is a transmigrator. ooc] which would lead to this series of SQQ trying to figure out how he can communicate around this. SQQ at a peak meeting being like, "do you think these DEMONS are PROUD of having made their WAY to us IMMORTALS?" while SQH is like, "AM I HAVING A STROKE?"

What's some other stuff about this fic? I've got a lot of thoughts bottled up, in part because I'm kinda snobby tbh in how I post. I'm like "*pushes glasses up my nose* the author's takes on the story should not be unavoidably present when reading the text" so I don't like to use ao3's author's notes. It's ridiculous and not a standard I hold anyone else too, but whenever I find myself wanting to address something in the notes, I know I must feel insecure about that part of the story. So either fix it or don't draw attention to it. But this is fine, you have to come here for this. This is DVD commentary.

My favorite part of writing this fic has been balancing Shen Jiu's character. As I'm fleshing out his sad backstory, I've been wary of essentially woobifying him. Reducing him to just someone who greatly suffered is so boring and flat. He NEEDS to suck. Or more accurately, he needs to be a very imperfect victim. Exasperating at his mildest, despicable at his worst. (Truthfully, I do think I can and should make him worse. Luckily this story is nothing but flashbacks to him at his worst so there's plenty of opportunities.)

This whole mental breakdown section has been an interesting balancing act because it's explicitly about how bad Shen Jiu's life was and now how bad Shen Qingqiu's is. It's the point at which I had to decide how torturous his time at the Qiu manor had been (me and Shen Qingqiu really discovered that together). On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the absolute worst saddest brutalist ideas I had for this era in his life, I'd say I settled on about a 7. Most of it is backstage in my head, but once I locked that down, I could start figuring out how much was bleeding through.

Anyway, it's been fun writing the angstfest of the last few chapters, but oh my god am I ready for a tone shift. There's usually jokes in my works, even the saddest bits, but jokes relieve tension which is the opposite of what I was going for. I didn't want any humor in the YQY conversation, then you have to keep not joking for a while to get the point across. There's still a lot of planned emotional shit, but I'm happy to not be wallowing for a while.

AND GOD AS MY WITNESS THIS STORY WILL NOT BE LONGER THAN 20 CHAPTERS. MAYBE IT'LL EVEN BE LESS!! IT IS DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO BE A WHOLE CANON REWRITE. PROBABLY!! IF TIANLANG JUN HAS ANY SIGNIFICANT SCREEN TIME, PLEASE KNOW THAT I HAVE FAILED.

[hoshigray]

⋆♱ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬 ✮ 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢-𝐓𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 ♱⋆ | a JJK series

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: hi hello!! so like, yeah, this is late bc I didn't plan on doing any kinktober stuff since i got shit irl to do. BUT, after some thought and some creative bursts of energy, I figured "ehh why not." So, I'm not setting the dates as life can be unpredictable, but here are the things I'm doing/have done for the month!! Think of this more like a book list than a prompt list tbh

reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ⋆♱✮♱⋆ transparent edit made by me + header art by yuto sano + fic dividers by the amazing @cafekitsune!!

𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝑻𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝑫𝒂𝒓𝒌, 𝑫𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑹𝒐𝒐𝒎...

All the material below contains 18+ content, so minors do not interact.

☠︎ = ficlet/scenario | ♱ = fics

☠︎ 𝐁𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤 (true form! Sukuna x fem/afab! reader)

☠︎ 𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 (dom! Nanami x fem/afab! reader)

♱ 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇[𝐞𝐫]!! (serial killers! Toji + Sukuna x fem! reader)

Next time, look around the area before you say you find a serial killer attractive. Because you’re about to see what mess your words will have you end up in — and your clothes all torn up.

☠︎ 𝐓𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐞, 𝐔𝐬𝐞 𝐌𝐞, 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐞 (rigger! geto x fem! reader!)

♱ 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤 (vampire bf! Choso x fem! reader)

Finding out your boyfriend's a vampire was far from the chill evening you planned with him. But you can't lie, imagining those fangs sinking down on and sucking on your skin....it's kinda hot.

♱ 𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬, 𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 (ex-husband! Toji x fem! reader)

Your ex-husband bringing the kids over for trick-or-treating is one thing; him wanting to spend the night at your place is another. But it's just for the night. There's no way one night can rekindle some old feelings...right?

☠︎ 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 (Toji x fem! reader)

♱ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 (Carrie inspired! Gojo x fem/afab! reader)

Taking a loner like you to the prom was, at first, an easy bet for the most popular kid in school. What he didn't expect, however, is to fall madly in love with you — and how that love brings hell on supposedly the best night of senior year...

This is all the stuff for this month. Thanks for stopping by!

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝑫𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝑱𝒐𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉'𝒔 𝑳𝒂𝒊𝒓?

Would you wish to be tagged? Please lmk in the replies or in my inbox!

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2023 ⋆♱✮♱⋆ These tales have been transcribed and written by the original poster (me). Do not steal, edit, copy/plagiarize, or post any of my works on your own accounts, in or out of this app. Please and thank you.

[artbyblastweave]

So, Wildbow pretty famously retconned Browbeat to death because he got sick of fan jokes about every new character secretly being Browbeat under a new identity. I've got mixed thoughts on that.

Unfortunately for all, my de facto reaction to that kind of meta-level contrarian stunt is "Power Move TBH," even if it was broadly comorbid with a proximity to the fandom that kind of blew out Ward's kneecaps with a .50 cal. Overlooking the fact that I think it was really sincerely funny, there's an argument to be made that it trims the fat; adding an additional heroic casualty for a grand total of seven out of twenty two named heroes operating in Brockton Bay at the time of arc 8. Browbeat is also specifically an independent hero who was headhunted for the Wards relatively soon after his debut- a distinct dynamic from the other wards who get pulverized, from the superheroic family business of New Wave, or the adult professional superheroes who bite it. This is a very Taylor shaped guy, the same kind of just-starting-out teenaged cape with an uncertain future. Him getting unceremoniously pulverized for the bad luck of having a front-line power therefore presents a bit of a "there but for the grace of god" moment for Skitter, if you choose to look at it like that. This is the kind of thing an editor would probably make him do anyway, if he wasn't cut entirely. But the thing is that I am kind of attached to the original outcome for Browbeat, which is that he dips. I think it actually adds some subtle verisimilitude to the story. The number of heroes we actually see is significantly lower than the alluded-to headcount in the early arcs; more indie heroes are alluded to then ever actually appear, and a combination of Leviathan casualties and departure during the ensuing civilian exodus is usually how I've seen that discrepancy squared. But it hits better if a named character cuts and runs. In the story as currently written, every hero who lives, remains in Brockton Bay to try and hold the line. I kind of liked the version of the story where that wasn't the case, where you can infer that at least one of these teenagers went, you know what, I'm not so completely committed to heroic altruism at the age of 16 that I'm gonna hang around to do it in a town without running water, I'm going to pursue a less horrible gig elsewhere. That's not really a thing that happens too often in Big-two comics, and if it were to happen it would likely be painted as a notable departure from expectations. But one of Worm's major themes is that unlike in the comics, there's a gigantic spread of motivations and personality types amongst the officially designated heroes, and it's a nice reminder that all those different personality types are going to have different thresholds for throwing in the towel and moving on to greener pastures. Or it was, until he just died instead

[iikisa]

heres more teacher rin au!!!!

ill have some more deets under the cut about this hehe

Welcome back aoex fandom… I’ve decided for this AU to be called “Tightrope”!!!! Haha,, yeah it’s definitely not what i was saying earlier in that ask..

But yeah!!! I’ll be tagging any post related to this AU under a tag from now on! ;)

(The rest of this will contain spoilers from the manga, but then again this whole AU has been spoilers..)

Alrighty, this time we’re going over the reason for Rin’s appearance… Just as in the manga, Rin becomes “unstable” through Yukio breaking his sword, except in this tightrope au, their relationship was much more rockier than it was in the manga. So much stuff that wasn’t cleared up, lots of avoidance, not so much emotional stability.. There’s a whole background to how Yukio and Rin’s upbringing would’ve happened in this AU because of their little aged-up situation— some events are interpreted differently to fit and others are just completely new, you can assume— so obviously things happened differently between them without Yukio being the cram school’s teacher and Rin actually attending said school to begin with…

So, now that Yukio left Rin for Illuminati, leaving him completely lonely and without a proper purpose to live for in life… Rin’s demonic nature is left in a “tightrope-like” situation.

See how the title relates? And boy does it apply for many other things too.

Where is Mephisto to help with all this you ask? Oh he tried to offer Rin help by going into the past, but even after learning of his origins (I don't think it helped his self-esteem much tbh) Rin still finds himself unable to "restabilize". Like in the manga, it's not until Rin truly accepts both sides to himself is he able to truly stabilize. This AU is obviously more heavy on the twins terrible communication and relationship, so obviously this will be harder for Rin.

For as long as he can remember, Rin's always thought of himself as a nuisance to his family. And with Fujimoto's death, everything seems to be Rin's fault and he's not stupid enough as to not notice the pattern. Unfortunately, this really eats away at Rin, especially with how distant Yukio was with him. So until Rin can learn to accept the uglier parts of himself, he won't be stable. And Yukio is the most important part for him to realize that.

Now… time for the appearance explanation.

When Rin first "unstabilizes" his hair, ears, and eyes change (other smaller details like his canines as well as the newest addition of little nubs on his forehead). The more "unstable" he is, the more prominent these features become—his hair is wholly whitish-blue, his ears and canines are pointier, his eyes are sharper and more vibrant, and his little horns get bigger.

After becoming a not-so-substitute-teacher for the cram school, these features start to become smaller or fade away!!!! Depending on Rin’s emotional state—negative emotions lead to instability and positive emotions leads to stability— his appearance changes. The happier and healthier he is, the more his black roots take place (his original hair color) and the duller his other features become!

Now as for his flames.. I think some logic may be off canon for this but it’ll be fine! He can freely use his flames like he does during the final war-against-satan arc, however, his state of stability changes how precisely he can use them. The more unstable he is, the broader and rougher the attacks. When he’s more stable, his attacks can be more precise and controlled, such as shaping his flames into weapons and other uses.

Anywho, I’ll have to start on making these differences more noticeable for the Rin’s I’m drawing out, because I do like to draw him at different times of his life (if you take note of his hair,,, its one of his best indicators ahah). But yes. Now that I’ve written this concept out (after I drew these sketches whoops) I’ll be showing off a little more of the story once some heavy inspiration hits me. I hope you guys enjoy hearing about this AU as much as I love writing and drawing it!!!!! I’d love to hear feedback or any fic recommendations..! They are my fuel.

Thank you for listening to the end, much love <3

[leighsartworks216]

In The Moonlight

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Lowkey wrote this for @niermortem bc the Astarion hyperfixation goes hard

I've never written for Astarion before and I'm still not 100% comfortable with his speech patterns and stuff but I had to write this or I would not be able to sleep tonight. Tbh y'all are lucky he even spoke at all. I was going to have Tav shush him lmao

Warnings: Cazador, mentions of past abuse, mentions of biting, vague implications of sex, like one swear

Word Count: 1,110

Masterlist

AO3

He’s so beautiful, just like this. The moon reaches through the window and caresses his hair, turning already-bright white into pure starlight. His pale skin glows. And when the sun rises and casts beams of yellow-orange over him, it’s almost as if blood flows through him once more.

You cannot sleep. Despite how tired your body was, your mind couldn’t sit still. It pondered over the day’s events - if you made the right choices, what you could have done better, your companions - endlessly spiraling out of sleep’s embrace. And you would still have been going over these questions and concerns, if Astarion did not look so damn pretty.

He fell asleep a while ago. With a gentle kiss to your cheek and a whisper of thanks, he’d tucked one arm under his head and draped the other across your waist, and drifted off. A hint of a smile still lingered there. Creases by his mouth and eyes proving a simple joy that followed him into his dreams.

It felt wrong to watch him like this. Like studying how his curls fell across his forehead and the flicker of his eyes behind his eyelids was in some way betraying his trust. The thought alone - of ruining this beautiful foundation of trust and patience and understanding - should have been enough to have you close your eyes or turn away. And yet, something inside you yearned for more. An ache in your chest that urged you to touch him, to be closer to him.

And the urge was stronger than your perceived guilt.

Slowly, you raised a hand to his face. At first, all you did was brush the curl from his forehead. The stubborn thing only bounced right back.

Your eyes trailed from his hair to his eyebrows. So often did a crease find its way between them, pinched in frustration or confusion. Your hand followed. With the barest brush of your thumb, you smoothed out the imaginary crease. Astarion breathed in deeply - causing you to hold your own - before sighing softly. His face relaxed even more, shoulders easing into the pillows that cushioned him.

You focused next on his eyes. Deep, bloody red irises hidden behind thin lids that held so much worry and uncertainty and joy and hope. Hope. It had taken so long for the vampire to actually be optimistic about the future. He had no idea what would happen next - between Cazador and the tadpoles, there was little to be optimistic about. When you helped him, despite his original plans to manipulate and use you, he realized things did not always have such awful outcomes. Even your first encounter, with his blade to your throat, had somehow brought you here, together and warm and safe.

Despite being an elf, he had such deep bags beneath his eyes. Even the crows feet and laugh lines that appeared with his smile were unusual. He’d told you sparingly about his life under Cazador. The things he fed on, the poem carved into his back, and the horrible things he did. Undoubtedly, the lines came from that time. Barely eating enough to survive, luring people in with his charms for an uncaring master, being tortured in the dark. Yet, you couldn’t imagine Astarion without them. He was so pretty when he smiled.

You move on to his nose and his cheeks. His features are all well defined, sharp. It makes him seem dangerous, even at a first glance. Like a snake, hiding fangs behind shimmering scales.

Beckoned by the analogy, your eyes flicker to his lips. They’re so soft, despite the way he chews his bottom lip. Where before his kisses were rough, demanding, now they’re slow, careful. He no longer kisses you like he has to woo you over and get you to play his game. He kisses you like he’s savoring the last drop of wine. Even his bites are gentler, pricking your neck as carefully as he can unless you ask him nicely to be rougher.

“Too distracted to sleep, are we?”

His voice makes you jolt. You weren’t expecting his lips to move so suddenly. Nor did you realize before how your hand cupped his jaw and your thumb stroked his cheek. You can feel his smile as he chuckles.

“I didn’t mean to startle you, my dear,” he coos. “But don’t you think it’s a bit late to be admiring my features?”

You take a moment to compose yourself, urging your heart to still from the scare. Damn you for thinking so much about his mouth. Astarion is nice enough to wait and listen as you relax once more, though you continue to trace over his skin and brush the curls in front of his ears back.

“I couldn’t sleep. And you look so beautiful in the moonlight.”

He slips his arm from underneath his head as he turns into your hand, holding your wrist in place as he kisses your palm. “I appreciate it, my love. But it’s been a long and exhausting day, and we both need our beauty rest.”

Red eyes watch, half-lidded, as you smile - he loves it just as much as you love his. Before, he couldn’t care less. Now, oh the things he would do to see you happy every waking moment of the rest of your lives.

The blankets shift against each other as you move to be closer. You tuck yourself into his chest, wrapping your arms around his torso and pressing your face into his neck. You are so warm. He lets out a soft breath as he curls around you, protective and safe all at once. Slender fingers tangle carefully into the hair at the nape of your neck, keeping your head tucked away under his chin.

For so long, he charmed and manipulated people. They touched and got close to him, in ways he quickly detached himself from. For so long. It was still difficult to fathom how he sought it out with you. How he did not go through the motions of physical intimacy, how he actually wanted to be physically intimate in more ways than just sexually. How long he’d been deprived of something genuine like this. He wanted to savor every gods-forsaken minute of it.

Your warm breath fanned across his neck as you spoke. Had he been able to, it would have sent a chill down his spine.

“I love you.”

His fingers curl into your waist, grounding himself into your body as your skin gives under his fingertips. In return, you squeeze him in your hold, solidifying even more that this is real. You are real.

“I love you, too, darling.”

[hiddenhearthwitch]

📚 Small Intro To Polytheism📚

One of the most frequent asks I receive is how and where to get started when it comes to polytheism. This is a fairly broad subject and I’ll try to be as general as I can for advice but I will include specific references for Norse polytheists as that’s my shit. This information can be used to help you find a pantheon or to help you pick deities to work with it. If you’d like to use it to pick a patron deity that’s super, if you want to worship 20 gods and not have a patron deity that’s cool too. You do you dude. Please keep in mind this is all reflective of my research and personal practice. 🌻

Picking A Pantheon/Deity

This really boils down to personal preference. You’ll read a lot of posts and books that tell you many different ways and it’s entirely up to you because it is your practice.  That being said, there’s a couple of different ways to go about it. 

Research! This is one of my favorite ways to delve in. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with reading the stories of multiple pantheons and picking on that calls to you. You can also talk to other devotees and see what they have to say about deities and their religions. It is important to keep in mind that some religions are closed so please do proper research!

For example, I wasn’t originally a Norse pagan. I read some stories and thought the Hellenic pantheon would best suit me. I reached out to Eros for a while but after feeling no real connection to the pantheon I continued my research! After reading up on the Norse pantheon I decided to reach out to them out. Obviously, I fucking loved it because here I am. Point being, you can pick a pantheon based on research and not some divine message or whatever. You are also more than welcome to try out a religion, decide it doesn’t suit you, and move on. 

Divination! You can use runes, a pendulum, tarot, etc.This can go a few different ways. You can write pantheon/deity names on separate pieces of paper, mix them up, and place them face down then ask the pendulum to pick. You can assign a deity/pantheon to each suit of cards or major arcana card or even do the same thing with runes. 

For example, this is how I found a devotion to Frigg and Hel. I asked if there were any deities who were interested in working with me and pulled the runes Hagalaz and Berkana which read as Hel and Frigg to me. I followed up with tarot cards and pulled Death(Hel) plus the Queen of Pentacles(Frigg).

Asking/waiting for a sign. This isn’t something I’ve personally done so I don’t have much to say on the subject. You can go about meditating, praying, doing a ritual, or whatever and essentially wait for a sign after. It can come via a dream, something you experience, symbols you see in your daily life, it’s pretty much up to your intuition to decipher it. If anyone has information they’d like me to add in here please let me know!

If there’s a god you’re curious about and don’t want to do any of the above it’s totally cool to just reach out and ask if they want to work with you. 

Idk How To Research

Same, tbh my keyword search game is weak. Anyways, good portion of us are looking up dead religions with little reliable resources. To give those curious about the Norse an easy head start here’s a compiled list of  books by yours truly(click me!!) . It’s important to take everything with a grain a salt of salt when doing research. In my experience a lot of the retold Norse sagas have been Christianized or written under heavy Wiccan influences. It’s a good idea to do research on the author before reading one of their books.

Other blogs! There are tons of great witches and pagans on tumblr that have information waiting for you. 💗 You can search their blog/tags for good references for books, websites, podcasts, etc. Plus lots of blogs are open to answer asks. If you don’t know where to start for searching it’s best to try things based around your interest like: “norse polytheist”, “hellenic witch”, “gaelic polytheism”, etc.

Media! How lucky are we that we live in the age of technology? Knowledge is right at our fingertips! There are countless documentaries, podcasts, and audiobooks on youtube full of information for different cultures and religions. I’d personally recommend almost anything by BBC, Myths & Legends, and World Mythology!

Books! I love starting on goodreads to find good books and trust worthy authors. They’ve had almost every book I looked up with bunches of different reviews so you can get varying perspectives. Check out your local library as well! A lot of city libraries have online databases now of all of their books so you can “check it out” online and read the PDF(personal fave). 

Feeling Lost Still?

That’s completely reasonable and your feelings are more than valid. It can be overwhelming and lot of information to soak up. Just do your best and take it at your own pace, there’s no rush to find a deity or pantheon. 💞 Below are a few other general concerns I hear a lot that I was hoping to address.

“I’m leaving a monotheistic(Christian, Catholic, Jewish, etc) religion and it’s giving me anxiety.” This is entirely common and almost expected in my opinion. I was raised Roman Catholic and my first year to two looking into polytheism riddled me with anxiety. I was constantly concerned that god would smite me down or I’d face an eternity in hell for worshiping false gods. While I can’t speak for everyone that fear was entirely erased for me when I found my gods. I’ve never felt so safe and strong and hopefully with time you can find the same in your gods!

It’s okay to want to learn more or to seek something more. I can’t tell you how to handle your anxiety but please know you’re not alone in that fear. There’s whole communities out there willing to support you and help you find your safe space(including me)!

“What’s UPG?” You’ll see a lot of posts, mine included, that mention UPG - UPG is Unverified Personal Gnosis. This is essentially someone’s personal thoughts and beliefs about a deity. For example, I associate Sif with hazelnuts. There’s nothing in the lore or any book that says that she likes hazelnuts; that’s just a personal opinion(aka a UPG).

“How do I reach out to the gods?” I have a lot of information on my blog about this topic although a lot of it is Norse specific. You can check out my beginner polytheist tag here and my beginner norse post/ask here.

Altar! This is my go to typically. Altars aren’t limited to the cookie cutter image that comes to mind(no hate though I have a few); one thing you can make a side blog dedicated to your pantheon/deity, make a small one in a tin can, or even make one in a video game like Minecraft or some shit. You can be as creative or as to the book as you want. It’s up to you.

Prayer! You can totally just sit down and be like, “Hey man wanna work on some shit together?”. While I’m not 100% that all gods would be down with you being that casual it’s still something you can try.😂 You can reach out to them by sitting down in a quiet space and meditating into prayer, praying in the car or in the shower, or just pray at the altar you set up if you did. Again, I can not reiterate this enough, it’s your practice, reach out to them as you please.

Do something personal! This is more like devotional work in my opinion. Let’s say you knit and you want to reach out to a creative or domestic deity, you can knit something as a devotional act to them and as a way to reach out. For example I pick up litter in honor of the Vanir and Jörð, or I play Skyrim for Thor and Týr.

Most importantly just be honest and up front with the god that you’re reaching out too. Considering that statement be honest with yourself as well. There’s no point going into a relationship with a god if you can’t be upfront, it’ll end up in nothing but grief.

“Can deities reach out through gods/signs?” They totally can. However, it is up to you and your intuition if a deity has and it’s not likely another witch will decipher that for you. Sounds, experiences, images, all have different meanings to each of us - they may show you something that’s very personal to you but would be mundane to someone else. Trust your instincts. However, please remember that not everything is magical, sometimes a raven is just a raven and not Odin.

✨Take everything you learn with a grain of salt. Including this post.✨

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[jacqulinetan]

On writing fanfiction

Exactly one person hinted that this might be helpful and I thought, well, okay, why not? tonight I have the time. I've been collecting thoughts for awhile and posting fic for more than a decade (writing longer than that!) so why not create a little manifesto of sorts.

A [not at all comprehensive] guide to writing and sharing fic - for beginners - from someone who is serious about writing fanfic as a hobby but casual about everything else:

On logistics:

Where should one write? I use google docs. Recently there's been some discussion about not using gdocs because of AI concerns, and I think if you are sharing nsfw files with other users there is a nebulous risk of losing access to the file... so I've heard. Tbh I cannot speak to the actual risk of either of these things. But I like gdocs because it's free and I can access the same doc from my phone as my desktop which is good for on-the-go thoughts. Other programs that people like are scrivener (costs money - but everybody who uses it says its worth it) and libre office (I tried this and didn't like it, but only because I'm used to gdocs). There are other programs out there, but these are the ones I feel I hear about the most. For me personally, I also have a notebook. If I'm inspired and want to get some scene or dialogue out quickly, writing analog is fastest for me and I find my thoughts flow well like that too.

Where should one post? Archive of our own dot org. There are other fic sites (wattpad) but none of them have the legendary tagging system that ao3 has - more on this later. On ao3 you will need to create an account (if you need an invitation, I'm not sure if you do, but if you do I will personally give one to you, just dm me). But you can post fic under your user handle or anonymously. When you browse the site, you will see that everything is separated by fandom, then by pairing (though non pairing/romance or 'gen fic' is fine too), then by characters involved, then other tags. I imagine it's overwhelming if you are not there a lot, but when you post, the form guides you for what to fill out (e.g. you will fill out the fields before you drop in your fic). You can always edit later if you want to change things around, but ao3 does not have an algorithm, so people will find your fic based on 1) the time it was originally posted or more likely 2) the tags that give an idea of what the story is about. I could write for ten thousand years about the merits of ao3, but like most things, you have to just get in there and try it out.

Other people who are smarter than me and know more than me can write and have written huge, in depth explanations for how to use features, and work skins, and the beautiful bells and whistles of ao3, but here is the down and dirty kind of explaining for sorting and filtering. I'm not going for nuance, I'm going for broad stroke understanding, and the nuance can come later. On ao3 fic 'metrics' we have hits (clicks), kudos (basically a 'like'), and bookmarks -- as a reader you can sort by any of these, which basically means you can move more popular fics to the top based on your preferences. And as a writer, it means you are hungry for people to kudos or bookmark your fic so that it potentially gets more eyes on it. Well, that's kinda putting the cart before the horse so to speak, if you're just getting started, but it is nice for your work to get feedback.

Tagging beyond pairing and character is important because it's how people will differentiate your fic from the others. This is things like 'canon compliant' or 'post canon' or 'coffee shop au' or 'enemies to lovers' or 'anal sex' or 'Bottom Shiro' or literally anything. Literally anything. These can be big tags ("wrangled tags") that everybody uses commonly enough that they are their own kind of category ('dom/sub') or random silly things you want to advertise with (e.g. 'blatant disregard for hoverbike safety'). You can add as many tags as you like. There are no rules to writing fanfic but tagging content warnings appropriately is important to readers, and you will find YOUR people most expediently if you tag honestly and robustly. Again, I could write 150k just about the intricacies of using ao3 as a reader AND writer, but 1) there are other folks who have done it better already/know more than me and 2) you really just gotta get in there and play around to understand it.

I am always happy to talk about fic and so if any questions about logistics arise, I will happily try to help. ao3 also has help pages and support. One random but important note is that the crux of ao3 is that it is an ARCHIVE only (so there is minimal moderation of content, to an extent ) and not for profit, so you must never ever mention money exchanged for fic there. if a work is a commission or something of that nature, that is fine, just mention it on socials or elsewhere, do not put put that in the summary or author's notes, etc as it will cause your work to be removed for legal reasons.

On writing:

The best advice for writing is the easiest to give and the most useless to receive: you really do just have to write. Write, write, write. That is the only way you will find what works for you, the only way you will get better, the only way you will tell your story. Since my goal is not to be patronizing, I will not say that. I will try to give some random and interesting tips that really get to the heart of what I feel you need to know (in my world of healthcare we call this type of information 'clinical pearls' LOL)

Getting started -

It's likely that there is a specific scene you want to write and that's why you're considering starting a piece in the first place. That's grand. All you need is that little bit of inspo!! when you're crafting a story around that point, try to drop the reader in at a time that is interesting/exciting/unexpected. if you're just starting out and all you have is the inspo scene, write that. then you can decide if that gives a full enough picture on it's own (fics don't have to be hugely long, esp in the beginning of your writing journey) or what else you want to add to be satisfied.

For me, I usually have an idea in a google doc and some bits of dialogue or random stuff that goes along with the idea as I got random inspiration. then when I want to start on a new work, I try to conjure up one scene that will get me rolling -- from there I can just keep writing what comes next. As a less experienced fanfic writer I wrote more outlines and was more methodical. when I'm writing now I don't really know how things end (except for in a very vague sense) until I'm actually writing the ending. this makes writing a lot of fun for me. when I write fic, I am my own audience and I am writing for my own entertainment.

Establish a setting -

I feel like a lot of less experienced writers fail to place these characters in a setting. If I open a fic and it's just mostly dialogue (chat fic, I'm looking at you, darling) I'm thinking ?? okay ?? are they floating in space??? what is happening?? I don't like chat fic. Give people an anchor at the very least and try to remember that the reader doesn't have your Mind's Eye and they will likely not know what you are imagining unless you explicitly state it. this might seem obvious, but writers who are good at setting are remarkably good at writing, I think. also, I do not like to open with dialogue but that's personal preference.

Magical paperclip moment -

Along the same lines as grounding the characters in setting, I like to add in what I call in my mind 'magical paperclip moments.' This is something I made up (I'm insane, btw) after being really impressed with a writer's work (I think in the hetalia fandom, I wish I knew the exact fic because it quite literally changed my life). anyways, the characters are having a conversation in the fic, and the author randomly added in a line about one of the guys playing with a paperclip while they talked. It did not move the plot forward, it was not important to the guy's character, it was just a random idiosyncrasy that made the story feel real. magical stuff. I love that.

Decide on vibes-

This is a big one for me!!! at the beginning of my working google doc I usually have some random notes, a running list of tags, etc, but I also have a category for ~vibes~ In other words, I am thinking hard about what kind of overall feeling I want the piece to have, and I am thinking about what kind of feeling I want to invoke in the reader. should this story be dreamy? Gritty? Fast paced? Emotional? And then it really helps direct the scenes because I'm trying to stay within that framework of vibes for the reader. So I try not to write just the story alone, but also the tone of the work. Also having a theme in mind, or a motif that runs throughout, can really make a work powerful

The POV has a voice-

This depends on the style of the writer, but for my work, it's HUGE. If I'm writing from the POV of one character and it is identical to the POV of another character, I am not doing a good job. through the way things are described, the tone, whether the writing is more formal vs casual, all of this can help establish the voice of the fic. the fics that I've written that are the most stand out, or the most entertaining, or the most popular - all of them have a very distinct character voice to them that matches the story and the tone of the fic, and helps characterize the pov. it's not for everyone, but to me this is the single most important thing to elevate a story into something special

Writer's block-

Getting stuck is inevitable. When you're stuck, you have two options: grind it out or let it simmer. Grinding through the block is not for the faint of heart - by this I mean literally chain yourself to the laptop and poke out word after painful word until the words start to flow. This could take hours and hours and barely result in a paragraph.... that you might scrap later. But, sometimes it can be enough to break through the block. If you let it simmer, that's more gentle - take a shower, go to the grocery store, go on a walk, etc. If that's not enough, read, watch tv, consume some other kind of media that fills your cup. Let your brain work out the block in your background processes. return to the fic when you really want to and then you will be ready.

Two things I always think of when I don't know what comes next in a story: What would I as a reader be so insanely stoked to see happen next??? and What would be unexpected or exciting here?

On community:

You can't really talk about the transformative work of writing fanfiction without mentioning the fandom as community. I have a lot of precious thoughts about this, but I will keep things brief here. Fic is shared in a dialogue with other fans - it is not sold, it is not beholden to canon, it is not for the satisfaction of the original work. People are writing purely because they want to and that is an amazing and powerful thing !!!!!

Comments -

Well we all want comments because we love to hear about how people love our take on our precious blorbos. But you have to leave comments on other folks work too. truly, as a writer, you have to. I think this is a good way to start finding your people: read fic that excites you -> leave a comment there -> see who else left comments -> read their fics -> look at their bookmarks -> read more fics -> leave more comments -> you will start to 'know' the people who like the same thing as you. you will start to have readers! you will find writers that inspire you! you will get better at writing! you will be in fandom!

One important thing to note for new to fanfic folks is that construct criticism of any kind is not welcome on fanfiction. it's not needed because the author is SHARING fic with you - I am by no means the first person to say this, but think of it like going to their house and eating their home cooked meal... if it's not to your taste, peace out. just leave. no need to let them know. this is doubly true if you don't like the content of a fic. simply leave...it's not for you, so find something that is. or make your own thing. As a writer, if someone is not following this basic fandom decorum, and they hurt your feelings with a nasty comment, you need to remember that they are the one in the wrong - they are being rude and you are justified to feel irritated or hurt. if you've tagged your own work appropriately, then you haven't done anything wrong by writing your fic.

Social media-

Two things about writing and social media (fandom circles of socials). 1. be insane about one particular thing, that will be your brand and bring you people and be fun. you don't have to do this, you could just be insane about a lot of things, but I think having one niche interest that really gets you going is good. that's my opinion! 2. never publicly discredit your work. don't say "LOL I suck at summaries" in the summary of the fic. don't put yourself down even if you have doubts about your writing....you can improve without doing that!!!

Sharing your fics in a post on twitter or bluesky is a good way to get more people to click on them, esp if you are a new writer. sometimes you will see people make pretty little title cards - they are making these on canva dot com and it is easy and free to use. I love doing this and it took me awhile to figure out how my favorite writers were making such pretty title cards for their fics. so now you know!

On concluding:

I can't imagine the resiliency of the readers who made it to this point!!!!!!!!! WOW !! Obviously I will post this with the caveat that I am just one little girlie and there are a lot of fic writing folks out there, some of them much more well spoken and more knowledgeable and better writers than me, and maybe if they posted a similar essay, it would have completely different content. that is okay and I am not sad about it. in other words, I do not pretend to be an authority on any of this, I am just a person who loves writing fanfiction and this is what I would tell a complete beginner <3 thank you for reading <3

[iwhyzumiihajimee]

chefs kiss [ hq imagine ]

pairing: Miya Osamu x fem.reader

content: after outing, Osamu takes you to his home to cook and bake for you as promised. You struggle with self worth and you both open up to one another in the process.

genre: fluff/angst imagine, timeskip! au

word count: 2.9k

author's note: tbh this was originally written for iwaizumi, but i thought it would fit osamu character as well.

credit towards original artist (art work below)

Osamu opens up the front door with a smile, letting you go ahead of him. Once inside, the house has some things laid out for cooking that he talked about earlier. You notice a couple of pictures on the wall of him playing volleyball with his old High School team, so you can tell that it was an important and precious phase in his life.

“I was going to make a cake, but I think I can do something a bit simpler, as long as I can spend time with you. What do you think?”

Observing his place he brought you back to reality, and you responded with a nod "Mhm... I'd like that.

He smiles. “Then come on, let’s get to it. I’ll even make you lunch after.” He gestures for you to follow him and he leads you into the kitchen. He starts getting out some ingredients and putting some things together in bowls. “I’ve done this lots of times, so I can do it pretty fast now.” He smiles, he knows that he is very good when it comes to things in the kitchen. His hands are quick and sure as he moves around a lot.

"Was cooking and baking something you started as a hobby very early?"

He chuckles. “It's almost definitely my favorite thing to do. It's fun to be creative and see what I can come up with, even with simple dishes, like the one I'm making right now, I try to put some personal touches to it. Plus, it's fun to share it with other people. Cooking is awesome, I can't imagine my life without it now. But, it also helps that I'm lucky enough to be very good at it, so I'm glad I found this passion in my life.”

You admired his response. Because you were nowhere great or had the passion of cooking and baking. As long as you knew the basics and got something edible to eat on a plate then, it was all good. "Well seeing in the kitchen makes you very attractive." You said as you kept watching him.

He laughs and shrugs. “I don't know how to respond to that. But I'm glad you think so.” He smiles as he continues prepping everything. He seems quite confident in his cooking and baking abilities, and he seems pretty focused. He seems to really be enjoying himself, the cooking process is very relaxing for him. After a couple more minutes, he has everything ready that he needs and he starts mixing it all together.

"Need help?" You couldn't help, but asked. Him moving around so much made you anxious and just chilling across from him waiting patiently was not your thing. You're more hands on and want to make sure both of you are entertained.

“Sure, you can help me, I can tell you're interested in it too. Do you know your way around the kitchen? It's not actually too hard, I think you can do this.” He smiles at you and hands you something to mix together in a bowl. He seems more focused on you than he does on the cooking process, like he wants to include you as much as possible.

"Tell me what to do, chef"

“Just mix it together with both hands for about 5 minutes. I can teach you other things too if you want.” He leans in closer to you, watching your hands carefully as you mix the ingredients together. So far you guys have been getting along very well, and he loves that you seem to be learning this new skill fairly easily. It seems to be making him extra attracted to you, if that’s possible.

"Yes chef!" You say following his directions

A few minutes pass by and he checks the mixture. “Okay, keep going for a couple more minutes, I think it just needs to mix together a bit more. I can show you other recipes later too, but this is a really simple one.” He smiles at you and it seems to make him extra happy that you’re willing to learn more.

Finishing up being his assistant, you come back to you seat across from him. He comes over and gives you a quick kiss before finishing up his dinner preparations. “Alright all, it’s almost done. We just need some time to let everything come together, but I think we have enough time for you to see the end product.” He looks very happy with the way the dish turned out, there’s definitely a sense of pride in how it turned out. He then brings out the dish we made and it looks great.

He has it set at the table and he pulls you in for a kiss before starting to sit down and eat. “I really love cooking for you. You make me so happy. I feel really great when I’m with you, and just being able to make something special like this makes it all even better. I’m glad you really seem to like this dish too!”

Osamu watches you take your first bite, and you savor the taste. Tasting each flavor as it melts in your tongue.

"Woah~ this tastes amazing!"

He smiles and gives you another kiss. “I’m really glad you like it. My dad taught me this recipe, and it’s one of my favorites, and now you are my favorite person to cook it with.” He laughs softly, it seems like he really enjoys your company as much as he enjoys the cooking process.

"Aww appreciate that~ Now your kiss gives it extra flavor..." You joked.

He laughs at your joke, he’s very proud of this meal and your compliments only make him feel better about it. He can’t help but kiss you again, he just feels so happy with you. After finishing your plate, he grabs some ingredients out of the cabinet to get ready to make a dessert. “Let’s make dessert next, we gotta get something after this incredible meal. I’ve got a pretty easy recipe for that too, you think you’d like to help me?” He looks at you expectantly.

"Uhmm... The only thing I can think that's easy are cookies, but whatever you feel is good. I like watching you~" You intertwine your fingers and prompt them up for your chin to rest on as you smiled sweetly at him.

He chuckles. “Cookies are always a good option, but I’ve got a recipe for a chocolate cake that isn’t too difficult. I think I can explain it to you too so you can make it for me too sometimes later,” he says as he gets out the ingredients for the cake, his eyes are always on you even when he’s focused on the cake preparation.

He starts mixing everything together in a bowl. “This is really easy, I’ll tell you the ingredients you need to add and when. I’ll give you the easy job,” he says with a laugh, as it really doesn’t take much effort to mix the ingredients together in a bowl, but he’s still careful to not take the process too lightly either. He’s definitely putting a lot of himself into this cake, he wants it to turn out perfectly. It’s kind of like he wants your relationship to turn out perfectly too.

As you listen to his instructions and the way he explains everything in each detail. You understand his metaphor and you melt.

After some time the cake was already out of the oven and cooled down. He adds frosting and gives you a taste. You licked his finger subconsciously and the frosting tasted yummy "Mhmm!~" You hummed in happiness.

His eyes widened for a quick second when you licked his finger, there was definitely a small reaction. He looks at his finger and chuckles awkwardly for a second, but quickly he smiles again and keeps putting on the frosting. “I’m glad you like it. This was one of the first desserts I learned how to make all by myself. It’s one of my favorites because of that.” He’s very proud of this cake and the result. You can tell it means a lot to him.

He continues to frost up the cake and every once in a while he brings up his frosted up finger for you to taste.

He blushes as you lick his finger. It’s kind of cute how excited you are when you’re licking the frosting. He seems kind of turned on by it too. He continues to cover the cake in frosting, slowly icing the rest of it up with it. You patiently wait smiling, then sighed watching him.

He smiles as he watches you. Even though he is putting the frosting on the cake, his eyes are still on you. You can tell that he just really likes being around you. Once the cake is covered in frosting, he finally finishes the cake and sets it on a cake plate. He takes a deep breath and looks at it for a moment, making a mental note of the cake and how well it turned out. He starts to cut the cake and he makes sure to give you the first piece.

"Ehhh?~ It's soo goood!~" You faked cried as you took the first bite, then you take another piece and give him a taste as you two shared the piece.

He takes a bite of it too, and he seems even more impressed than before as his eyes light up while he takes a bite. “Oh man, this is really good, it turned out perfectly. I can’t wait to make more stuff like this with you around!” He smiles and leans in and kisses you on the cheek. He’s still so happy with the cake and he’s glad that you think it’s good too.

You continued to feed him pieces of the cake slice he gave you, and you enjoyed it as well. He then notices you had frosting on the side of your lips and he wipes it with his thumb and brings it over to his lips. He tastes it with a playful smile.

“Mmm, that’s really tasty frosting, it tastes even better on you though,” he says with a little laugh as he leans in and gives you another kiss. Your eyes widen and you blush away.

He’s still licking his lips after tasting your frosting. He looks straight into your eyes when he sees that you’re blushing. “You’re so cute when you’re blushing.” He leans in and whispers into your ear. “You taste good too.” He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before smiling and cutting another slice of cake for himself.

As he did this, you suddenly got shy and quiet as you continue to eat.

He continues eating as well for a few minutes before he looks over at you. “Why so quiet?” He seems really happy with himself and the way this night is going.

"Ehm, you make me a little nervous, that's all."

He chuckles. “Sorry. It's nice being a little nervous every once and a while. The excitement can be fun too. Does it really make you that nervous?” He seems to be taking it as a little bit of a compliment.

"You attract me..." You glance to his eyes quickly and quietly say.

He looks surprised for a second and he smiles. “Wow, well thank you. I think I can say the same about you too though, you’re very attractive.” He seems to like the fact that you find him attractive and he’s taking it as a compliment. After taking a few more bites, he looks over at you and he can’t help but find you just as attractive as before. “You’re even more beautiful looking at you now.” He smiles and leans in to kiss you again.

He kisses you as he still had a piece of cake in his mouth which ended up in yours. He releases from the kiss and you then swallow the piece of cake he transferred to you.

He pulls away from the kiss and smiles. “You’re even better if there’s cake in your mouth. I could kiss you all night like this if I could,” He leans in to kiss you one more time, still impressed by all the flavor you give off. “I can’t get enough of you though,” He seems very sincere about this.

You shyly look away with your flustered face. He seems to love how shy you get, it’s really attractive to him. He leans into the kiss even more, and his hands move towards your hips while he does so. He takes his time with the kiss and you can feel that he really wants you. He seems to really like this side of you that comes out when you’re shy. He leans away with a smile on his face, he really enjoys taking his time with this kiss. “You’re super sexy when you’re like this.”

He pulls you up to the counter where you sit and he holds you between his arms at your waist. This surprised you, and you responded with an uhmm...

He smiles and kisses your cheek before saying “You’re very sexy when you’re like this, and I really want you in these moments. Is getting lifted up the part that makes you nervous?” He leans into you, his arms holding you close as he gives you his full undivided attention.

"A little... Your whole presence gets me nervous. You're too good for me..."

He seems a bit taken aback at this. He looks at you with eyes full of surprise. “I think the opposite. I don’t think I deserve you. You’re so beautiful, and it’s unbelievable how lucky I am to have gotten you in my life. I could not ask for someone more perfect to love.” He smiles and kisses you again in hopes of conveying his feelings. He genuinely thinks that he is not worth you, you are out of his league.

Shocked by his response- "Me? YOU'RE wayy out of my league... You were an amazing athlete, you can cook, your place is spotless, you're caring, loving, good looking... What is it you don't have? You have everything figured out and settled. I'm nothing compared to you."

It takes him a second to respond to what you’re saying, but eventually he leans in again to kiss you so as not to interrupt you. “That’s not true at all though. Being an athlete doesn’t make me better than you. If you saw the practice I put in to get to where I am now, what most people don’t see, you’d see how imperfect I am, just like you’re saying. But with you by my side, I’ve finally felt complete. I’m missing one piece, and that’s you.”

You held his shirt as you tucked your head leaned into his chest, having the sense of hiding. Every emotion hits you as you recall your past and the hardships you went through.

"You're dedicated, well mannered... Everything a girl wants... I'm not-"

He takes your hands in his, his eyes wide as he looks directly into yours. “No, you absolutely are. You are just as dedicated as me and you’re kind and selfless. You’re everything I could ask for and I truly mean that. I don’t see why you think so lowly of yourself, you’re amazing. I can’t ask for anything more than you.”

You let a tear drop as you tried so hard holding them.

He wipes those tears away and wraps you up in a hug, comforting you. “Hey, hey everything’s ok. I don’t ever want you to doubt how amazing you really are. Don’t cry, I know that you’re more than enough for me. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been, just being your boyfriend is the most satisfying thing I can ask for. Please don’t doubt yourself, I won’t stand for it.” He wraps you even closer, trying to cheer you up.

Letting out a breath to calm yourself down, "Sorry... It's been a while since I heard anyone appreciate me..."

He seems genuinely surprised at this again. He was not expecting you to say that. He takes a quick breath and leans in close to you. “You don’t hear that enough? I know that a lot of people talk down to you or don’t think much of you, but that is the one thing I can’t handle. You are too amazing to not have those close to you recognize that.” He seems genuinely upset about the fact that you don’t have people that appreciate you. You’re just too precious for anyone to think that.

He hugs you back, tightly now as you cry. “Hey hey no need to cry. I don’t know what you’re dealing with exactly, but there is no need to cry because all of that is behind now. Look, I promise that I’m here for you and I’ll always do what I can to make sure it’s all behind us. Ok? Are you feeling better now?” He seems to mean it as he talks, he really wants to comfort you and make sure you’re ok.

You nod and slowly pull away, "I'm okay, just needed this... Gosh I ruined the moment."

“Nah you didn’t ruin anything. I love being there for you whenever you need me. All I want is to be able to put a smile on your face and make you feel happy. You didn’t ruin anything at all.” He seems to mean every word as he looks at you.

[alllgator-blood]

Man people gotta have bees in their brain or didn't play the game, Heket really cares about her family. She made me regret killing Leshy, I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS YOUNGEST UNTIL NARINDERE THATS SJAKSIHDKD SORRY *sobing*

Also what song is your favorite from the hymns of the unholy album? For me it's between CHAOS and FAMMINE

THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THE GAME TBH I FELT SO BAD RIPPING THE FAMILY APART THE FIRST TIME. I LOVE FEELING BAD FOR ANTAGONISTS!! I PLAYED IT AROUND WHEN IT CAME OUT SO I COULDN'T EVEN REUNITE THEM IN MY FIRST CULT, THEY WERE JUST DYING IN PURGATORY FOREVER. My unholy alliance update cult is called "nepotism" where all the regular cultists live in sleeping bags, get shitty food and have to work all day while the special characters + bishops have all the good shit and just hang out drinking all day LMAO

As for the album, I still can't pick which one is my fave, it's tied between three tracks....I forgot to do my tier list I mentioned, so I'm gonna write my thoughts beneath the cut. I'm glad you mentioned famine specifically because I feel like that one is kinda slept on tbh!!! TL;DR is that heket + shamura + narinder's songs are tied for my favorites for varying reasons

In terms of what song I think should be people's introduction to the album/the most easily digestible one, definitely cult. 100% it's the one that I showed my friend + sister and they thought it sounded the best on the first listen. It's faithful to the original motif and the writing is solid. I could NOT stop listening to it when it dropped, and was so excited to hear that the one with the music video wasn't even the full version so we got more of it when the album dropped....

Chaos is the one that makes me smile when I hear it, because it's SOOO leshy. Like of COURSE his song would sound like that, with the solo at the end and him namedropping himself and saying "my horns are covered by something like fallen leaves" like he doesn't even know his own anatomy. That's SO funny, I didn't like it at first but it 100% grew on me and I love it now

Famine has the best moment out of any of the songs imo, the "make your peace, creature" part goes harder than any other single moment in the album. I feel like she was maybe done the most justice lyrically, that song has the best combination of original lyrics and lines from the game. I actually wish the other tracks were written more like hers, but maybe the fact that hers was so different is what makes me love it so much.

Pestilence is the weakest track for me personally, but I had the biggest reaction to it for the first verses alone where they immediately just use the lines where kall is being a little bitch and begging for mercy. That's the one I wish I could listen to for the first time again, it also gets stuck in my head way more often than the others for some reason

Conquest instrumentally is my favorite by far, but I'm biased cause shamura's theme song is already my favorite boss track. I already talked about why I love this one in the other post so I'll move onto the next one-

Death has the best progression by far, like it's IMPOSSIBLE not to imagine an amv while listening to it. Also the very very end where it gets really fast goes BALLISTIC and is the second-best moment of the entire album. Honestly I wasn't disappointed at any aspect of this song, I don't think I have any complaints it's 100% hype tbh

I'm very glad you sent this ask in because I wouldn't have gotten a chance otherwise to talk about this album, I'm SO feral over it and the only other music I've listened to since it came out was the new king gizzard song that just dropped (they're my favorite band and that's the only thing that could pry me from cheesy cotl metal)

[ellievickstar]

Undeserving

A/N: This took me way too long to write- I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. This is Part 2 of Deserving, but it can be read as a standalone. This was written as a more self-indulgent fic and I might write an alternative part 2 that is sadder if you guys really want. Love you all <3

Summary: After years, you are happy, you have moved on. But what about the other half that you have abandoned? What about tthe one who hurt you most when all you needed was his help?

Request: N/A

Pairing: Azriel x Reader (Past), Eris Vanserra x Reader (Current)

Warnings: Angst (as usual), being married to Eris (ig for some of y'all that's an ick), mentions of Beron (bleh), really nothing else tbh please tell me if there is anything i should add.

~*~*~*~*~

"How have you been?" The High Lady of the Night Court sat opposite to you as you sipped at the tea that your dearest husband had provided. It had been over five years since you had left the Nigh Court, over ten years that you decided to find new purpose here. In Autumn Court. After Beron had died and Eris Vanserra had been announced as the new High Lord, you had originally gone over as an ambassador with Lucien, but after a few interactions with the now Autumn High Lord you had decided to stay. And now you were married.

"I’ve been well Feyre. Eris still treats me like a queen and I am always taken care of, he insists I always rest even though I do want to contribute and work, though he does relent on letting me participate in political meetings and interacting with the larger part of the court. He thinks they like me more than they like him," You smiled warmly as you thought of your relationship with the High Lord of the Night Court. Although it hadn’t been officially announced yet, due to the fact that Eris had to get rid of a few corrupt lords in who had been loyal to only Beron, you had overheard Eris discussing something with Lucien that you had not meant to find out.

~*~*~*~*~

It was midnight and you had awoken to an empty bed, still warm, meaning that Eris had not left too long ago, but not warm enough without his presence next to you. You stumbled down the great halls of the Forest House, finally coming across a room where a dim light shined through a slightly opened door, but as you were about to enter, you stopped and strained your ears to listen to the conversation that was happening inside.

You picked up on Lucien’s voice first, ensuring that you remained perfectly still and held your breathe. "You are being ridiculous of course she would say yes. You’ve planned all this so that you can make this day special for her, why are you still fretting?" Your lovers panic was palpable in his tone, "What if she hates it? What if she hates everything and decides to leave me? Oh gosh what if she leaves me?"

A chuckle escaped from Lucien and you felt movement and what seemed like pacing footsteps.

"I really love her, brother. She is the love of my life and I feel like I’ve waited for her since the beginning of my existence, but what if she hates what I am planning to do? Or what if I end up overwhelming her and she decides to reject me?" Panic. Eris was in a complete state of panic. The usually calm, indifferent and cold heir was panicking. Curiosity piqued in you as you remained outside the door of the study. "I’m sure she will agree, in the years you have been together all she’s yearned for is a life with you. She will be more than happy to agree for you to make her High Lady."

~*~*~*~*~

And so you were giddily awaiting the day that Eris had planned. You were careful in hiding that you knew, ensuring that he would not suspect anything. Smiling as you recalled the memory fondly, your attention was stolen by the doors off the sitting room opened, flaming red hair peaking through the doorway as it revealed your grinning husband.

"Eris!" You greeted as you saw Feyre’s lips curve into a slight smile, one she hid behind her teacup as your lover approached you, lips brushing against your forehead as he nodded Feyre’s way, a polite acknowledgment of her presence. "Am I interrupting, Little Fox?" He murmured and as you shook your head he slipped you a small piece of paper before bidding his farewell. Strange, but perhaps he didn’t wish to share whatever information was on the paper to Feyre. Understandable, seeing as the night court still didn’t entirely trust Eris.

Peering at the paper, you smiled at the words.

Nothing important, Little Fox. Was just missing you. See you later at dinner with the rest of the Night Court and Lucian.

Though Eris would never admit it he was clingy at heart, and you found it ever so endearing. Truly, it was adorable seeing the High Lord of Autumn, someone who had been deemed cold and cruel by the entirety of Prythian, decide to sulk at the absence of his one and only lover.

Sighing, you folded the paper and used your magic to winnow it to your room, continuing your conversation with your best friend without a hitch, gossiping about court relations and other subjects that came to mind.

~*~*~*~*~

Laughter roared through the dining room as Cassian pounded his fist against the table. Among everyone in the inner circle, Cassian had been the quickest to get used to Eris, but that was not before Mor and Eris made up and Eris provided a real explanation of why he had left her in the woods all those years ago, even offering to provide his own memories and thoughts to Rhys to prove himself. It was all so you did not have to separate yourself from your family, and he had done it only for you. Not that you had asked him to. You would have never asked him to be so vulnerable with people he might be uncomfortable with.

A part of you couldn’t help but notice Azriel staring at you, but you chose to ignore him. He had made his choice about you a long time ago, it did not matter if he regretted it now.

But the ruckus died in the dining table as Eris cleared his throat.

Looking around, you saw Rhys’s eyes seemed to be alight in anticipation and Lucian seemed to sit straighter in his chair as Eris stood, addressing your family.

"I’m sure you understand why I’ve chosen our monthly gathering to finally announce this. But it’s not really an announcement, yet." His eyes travelled across the room before finally landing on you. "Throughout the past few months I’m sure some of you know that I have been agonising how to do this properly, and some of you have even personally had a hand in helping me to try and plan something that would fit the best into Y/N’s lovely taste, and that’s when i realised that I didn’t need anything big or extravagant, she would have just wanted you all here, to share this." He paused as he knelt before you, holding your hands to his.

"I know this is a big thing to ask, and I understand if you need time, heck some of your family members may even discourage you from saying yes." He grinned nervously. "But I wanted to ask you now. Y/N will you do me the honor of becoming my high lady and binding my life to yours for the rest of my life? Because if one day you decide to leave this land, I don’t want to be far behind."

Inhaling deeply, he continued, "I love you, I know for a fact I love you and that I have loved you since you decided to show up to my court with my brother, grinning and laughing like fools. I have loved you ever since you had the defiance to stand up to my cold mask and tell me I could "shove that fake cold demeanor up my ass or screw off". I have loved you shamelessly and endlessly ever since you first decided to call me your own. Please, be my High Lady, let me dedicate my life to yours, to whatever end."

Tears filled your eyes as you nodded repeatedly, blubbering out a soft ‘of course’ as you flung yourself into Eris’s arms. Your family members all burst into cheers, Cassian taking you from your husband to swing you around and Feyre, Nesta and Elain crowding around you in excitement to gush over the news. This was exactly what you would have wanted. Nothing big or fancy, just a moment to share together, as a family.

That’s when you felt a tendril sneak up your arm, causing you to look back into where the shadow singer was now tucked away into a corner, he beckoned you to follow him and as you cast a look to Eris, he smiled softly and mouthed ‘i trust you’ before winking and returning to his conversation with Lucian.

You followed Azriel to a balcony just outside the dining hall, and he paused for a few seconds facing away from you, before his low, raspy voice rang out.

"Why him?"

You were taken aback. But you rolled your eyes, Azriel had pulled this same shit at your wedding.

"Don’t do this Azriel," You warned.

The shadow singer turned to you and under his gaze you froze at his rage.

"He doesn’t deserve you."

"And you think you do!" You scoffed, "I needed you, all those years ago I needed you. Not just your pathetic words that you would be there for me no matter what when it came to a time I needed you to choose me you did the exact opposite. For months I was broken. I believed that I didn’t deserve love if my own mate couldn’t bring himself to love me. You have no idea what it was like watching you love someone else. You have no right to tell me who deserves me and who doesn’t. You gave that up a long time ago so don’t even try."

Silence was all that followed and as you were about to return to the male who actually loved you, Azriel spoke. 

"I’m sorry," And now with your back away from him you were reminded of all those years ago when you walked away from a situation that made you feel undeserving of love. 

"I know," You said softly, your words almost unable to reach his ears, "But that’s not enough, Azriel. Being sorry has never been enough for me to stay with you. Let me go, please. You deserve love to. Please stop chasing after people you can’t have because that will be your undoing." 

But as you left and Azriel was alone on the balcony, he tipped his head and whispered to the stars. 

"It already is."

~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Sorry if the story isn't flowing that well haha. I am working on other stuff (planning and procrastinating is more accurate) but rn I am on school holidays so I will be writing a little more. Love you all see you next time <3

taglist for azriel: @positivewitch

[personasintro]

Have you ever thought of writing an actual book, cause I’ve read mh and employed and I really loved them, I think your writing is way much better than some authors that I’ve bought books from, I’m honestly more excited about your chapters coming up than some others books. Love you tho <3 have a great day.

I didn’t at first but I get asked this quite often lately, so I would lie if I said it didn’t cross my mind at some point 🤭 but writing remains just a hobby of mine, so I guess we’ll see how I feel about it in the future. Honestly, I don’t think I’m at that level of writing, you know, to take it further than this.

Thank you so much for the compliment! For the past two years, I started to read a few original books and tbh even I am surprised what kind of books are released into the world. No judging here, but I think some of the fanfics I’ve read are written way better 👌 and by that I just wanna say I’m honored that you think so about my own stories! 💕

Love you! 🫶

[zvezdacito]

// TWST Book 7 spoilers, thoughts of Malleus's writing as a character

So I was reading some other people's opinions on why some people consider Malleus overrated/annoying, and tbh this makes me really sad. The general consensus is that a lot of people fixate on certain sides and can only see him as one extreme or the other and it results in many ppl thinking a watered down version of his character is how he is in canon.

I feel that its such a shame because he's the most interesting, compelling and well-rounded take on his character archetype I've seen.

From my observation, usually they kinda make this archetype (the broody misunderstood 'everyone fears him like a monster except for one special person') someone you can't take that seriously, because of how his struggle usually kind of written in a way where everyone involved feel less like actual fully fledged original characters and really just one note tropes interacting with other one note tropes.

To elaborate: What i mean when i say this is usually ppl who hate him kind of just do because of plot requires them to and to show how all their haters are "normies" who can't get him because 'he's not like everyone else'. The misunderstood guy still usually has toxic personality issues but the story really tends to make it feel like they don't fear him for that but because they're shallow and have prejudice to ppl like him, so his personality issues are not framed as wrong or character flaws.

I don't think there's anything inherenrly wrong or mediocre with the "one special person who gives him a chance before anyone else" trope like I'm literally a Malleyuu enjoyer lol but like i said its all in the execution cause otherwise it fails to be compelling and believable. Usually in the poorly written version of this trope the guy doesn't undergo any character development other than showing more emotion and kindess to his partner because they melted his ice I guess so it really makes his whole character feel like its revolves around the sake of romance and fanservice.

Malleus doesn't fall into this trap in my opinion because his situation despite how fantastical it is, the way he was written makes it believable as to why everything is the way it is with him, and it also challenges the viewer if they would be able to say they wouldn't fear him too in that situation.

"We're gonna give you this character who everyone sees as a monster and show you deep down he just wants the same love as everyone else, making you contemplate changing judgement on him. He wants to prove this, but his way of going about it always inadvertently harms others."

"You know where hes coming from and if he had that social connection to give him a better understanding of others this wouldn't be happening, but its also equally understandable that the people hes trying to connect with don't deserve this and fear him even more after this, trapping him in a cycle of isolation."

"Given his track record, do you go about giving him a chance or just considering the repeatedly proven danger he brings. With the valid reasons of both parties, can you really say he isn't a monster and demand that 'if only people be near him'?"

There's just such a tragic and thought-provoking dilemma to his character that adds so many layers that makes him so good.

As omniscient viewers we have the benefit of seeing what he's going through form his POV so we can sympathize with him and understand that he thinks what he's doing is the best course of action and he's just trying to create a "win for everyone" situation.

But also everything he does ironically reaffirms everyone's fear and distrust of someone like him. No one can deny he has a tendency to cause further destruction when he tries to do something "good", examples including: past Briar Valley lantern lighting fire, the Halloween 2 ghost world party, and now his Sleeping Curse stunt in Book 7 Part 2 (they really emphasize this by making the spoken name of his UM basically mean "Malicious Fairy" but have its written name used to convey what its meant to mean be "Blessing").

↑ Given this, it honestly makes sense others, especially those who don't know him all that well, would just expect the worst when he's around already, and you wouldn't be able to blame them for that given the track record. It doesn't help that this impression is worsened since he tends to cause misunderstandings due to his lack of familiarity with human social cues.

Alongside the bias and preconceived notions from his status and reputation, they also make a point on how his personality flaws are still also a huge factor in pushing people away, such as not being able to see things through the perspective of others.

He also holds a subconcious belief due to what has been ingrained in him since childhood as a Draconia and the next in line that because he's superior to others at certain things, he has the right and responsibility to decide on what will protect and help them, disregarding the individual values/priorities of human beings and leading him to take reckless and destructive action with good intentions.

His upbringing, character strengths and character flaws are all realistically connected to each other and the way they are subtly shown to be ever-present in defining his decisions, goals and thoughts throughout the whole story. So we don't really need to have a character go out of their way to exposition this to us this word for word just so we can understand and believe it.

Moving onto something slightly more lighthearted, I really also like how dorky Malleus surprisingly was. Other similar characters in the archetype I usually see don't really have any hobbies, interests, or quirks outside of being a broody authority figure, which might've been appealing to some at first but it really just gets stale and boring after a while.

This should be the bare minimum in making a fleshed out and interesting character so maybe i sound like im giving them too much credit for pointing it out😭 But yeah compared to the other examples it's good that Malleus has his Tamagotchi and Gargoyle interests it makes him feel like a believable person who has his own life going on too (with the bonus that these interests are also metaphors for aspects of his character). The gap moe adds an endearing side to him, and makes the gap between his intent and impact of his actions even more tragic. It wouldn't hit the same without this side.

(^ Forgot how the exact quote goes, but it basically said dark stories are more effective when there are moments of genuine happiness and good in them, compared to if it was always just grim and edgy. The former increases the stakes and tragedy because you have something you to care about losing, while for the latter there is nothing for you to care about so nothing the story does really matters. Same logic applies to Malleus)

Overall, it's just like an unfortunate incompatibility of goals and circumstances, which is what TWST is all about. Another thing I want to say is out of all the characters, I feel like Malleus is the one who is the ultimate embodiment of TWST's main themes:

-> How it's not about "hero" vs "villain" just differing circumstances crossing paths and clashing because of how people on either side have their own complex perspective and dreams they want to realize

-> And how connection and finding community is important to find people who will help you make up for what you lack in reaching your goals and to better understand all the factors that caused the situation in the first place.

As if seeing yourself reflected in a mirror, the more you get to know the people around you, you realize in many ways you are actually quite alike, and through understanding others you could also possibly better understand certain aspects of yourself. It's sort of encouraging you to do the opposite of dehumanizing others and yourself, which is something Malleus has most evidently internalized.

So yeah this was so long😭 I had a lot I wanted to say since Malleus is my favorite TWST character. Idk if I missed anything or if i managed to express my thoughts in a cohesive way but yeah. I kinda go into a rage whenever I see the worst takes ever be put out about his character but tbh sometimes I can't completely blame others since fandom trends and the convenience of simplifying things into tropes can warp your perception of a character and what you associate with them.

Also sometimes twst doesn't do a good job with utilizing his character like Book 5 where he got turned into a deus ex machina and Halloween 2 where they killed any hype and intrigue for the plot we had at the beginning through the ending reveal and gave the worst justification ever for Malleus and Lilia's actions ever.

Regardless, I hope more people manage to move past this and appreciate his character for what it really is soon though. He's an amazingly tragic character; a lot of thought was put into how his experiences, strengths and weaknesses would convincingly connect, and he represents something relevant in the story's plot and themes.

The fact that I've seen some people unironically believe that Malleus may just be faking his cluelessness of social cues to hide his "true evil" is evidence to how convincing his character's situation is, that even some in the audience who know more about him than the characters would still end up in the same place of doubt and distrust of Malleus because of what he's capable of.

Aight thank you for reading👍

[genericpuff]

1. Have you read Circe by Madeline Miller + Song of Achilles ~ if you have what are your thoughts

2. In the original what was your favorite male character drawn out (mine was Hermes only bc I found him hot😓)

3. How long do you think it’ll take you to ‘finish’ your story, like do you have a set date: 2026,2027, even 2030🙈🙈

4. What’s your backstory on tattooing and art, was this your initial plan

5. Fave girl character, (mine is Minthe only bc she reminds me of my younger self since I seemed to only choose realtionships where I get here)

thank youuu

ahaha so many questions! I'll answer them as concisely as I can :>

1.) Song of Achilles is on my shelf, I've been meaning to read it all but I haven't been able to make time for it, I might try and do so before the new year! I've definitely heard great things :>

2.) Hephaestus! He gives me such older brother vibes, he just seems like a really chill and snuggly guy LOL Only complaint about his character design is the fact that he's constantly using running blades (sure they look cool but they're not practical for casual wear, you're supposed to use them for, y'know... running lmao) but that's really it, I think his arc with Aphrodite in S3 was poorly written tbh especially with how rushed it was, but overall not the worst treatment out of the cast.

3.) Definitely don't want it to take until 2030 LMAO It's gonna depend on a few variables, including update schedule (I'd really like to get back to posting once a week again like I used to but I don't think it's gonna be possible for a little while u.u""") and how long the final scripts come out to be. Ideally though I'd like it to be wrapped up within another year or two. This definitely isn't one of those "work on it indefinitely" type projects, I have an end goal in mind and I don't want it to take over half a decade like my last comic project did LOL

4.) Never expected to wind up making Rekindled or in tattooing. I'm kind of a "fall into it" type person, I do what feels right in the moment even if it's not what I initially planned for (within reason, of course! I've learned to sit on new ideas and plans for a bit before pursuing them to ensure I'm actually into them before diving in lol it helps me avoid the impulsive ADHD-fueled decisions 😆). I sort of had a plan for myself back in primary and high school - I wanted to become a video game concept artist, but over time as I got into making comics and after I graduated college, it just never really happened. It's never too late, of course, but right now I'm having a lot of fun tattooing and making comics in my free time ! I think I'd still be making comics even if I ended up in game dev, it satisfies my storytelling side haha

5.) If you mean specifically LO, yeah, Minthe here too. Which is wild because I remember when I was still a huge fan of the comic and was on the "fuck Minthe!" train. Now that I've explored the comic with a more critical eye, I sympathize with her way more and I really hope she had gotten a more satisfying conclusion. Still, she got away from Hades and Persephone's nonsense so that's better than nothing LMAO but I definitely want to explore her side more in Rekindled as the story unfolds, I have some fun plans for her <3

[suohenki]

on my second playthrough of veilguard (for some reason). this is the insane person's ramblings about lore/writing unlike my last post

this is the first time i've been so utterly bored of a second playthrough. never has an rpg given me this feeling.

like there are no quests i look forward to tbh, every main quest is a long combat sequence. even inquisition had the orlesian ball that you had to resolve with some actual noncombat solutions. (get behind me inquisition i will defend you from the fandom)

made a qunari this time to see if it affects anything, no, really doesn't. there's barely any qunari dialogue options.

picked the crows origin, it is truly astonishing the way they treat them in this game. they seem completely shy about the crows being contract killers? it's not even that they don't talk about the things Zevran talks about, but they fully try to ignore the murder part. Mfrs are freedom fighters now apparently.

and the "twist" villains in the crows storyline are so comically obvious i hoped they were both red herrings. the butcher is so underdeveloped too. the way the illario/blood magic twist is written is confusing, rook sees it all with his damn eyes and then never says a word about it. Yes i think illario is the bad guy here, Rook, i know you heard the "amatus". What. (swear to god the dark brotherhood is more deep than this. i never thought i'd say TES has better writing than DA.)

By the end they never address the fucked up things the crows do, outside of Rook's one throwaway line of "yeah my training was hell lmao." Is it just Aranai that's fucked or what kind of hellish training are we talking about? Rook also mentions having been an orphan... so the crows are as usual but we just won't talk about it. The lore and characters have never been this confusing and woobified. The positivity of Rook rly feels off when they are a trained assassin... no one reacts negatively to it, everyone even goes "Omg lucanis is a killer. Oh, not you Rook, you're better :)" no i don't think he is? Both killers.

Similarly they are so scared of the (elven) slavery in Tevinter. If you hadn't played the previous games you'd be forgiven for thinking Tevinter had no slavery because you missed the 3 sentences that mention it. We are in the slavery capital of Thedas and we are being shy about it. I guess Dorian's and Fenris's stories are too "problematic"... It's frankly gross how they brush it off after how serious it was in previous games. Also crazy how religion never comes up. In the country of the "black divine", you'd think Harding would have something to say at least. It really only now hit me how hard they avoided bringing up non-elven religion when it's been such a big part of the lore...

Neve's storyline just begs to be about the actual known issues of Tevinter instead of whatever it was about, all of it went from one ear, out the other. To me, her and Lucanis are the weakest companions on replay. Neve's voice acting is so strange and flat it's really difficult for me to be endeared by her. (this is coming from a cassandra pentaghast enjoyer)

Even if I think Harding's scenes could be better at least i get what she is about. Tho all the titan stuff feels like it's not treated with the gravity it should be. I do like Taash and Bellara, i just wish Taash wasn't written so immaturely. i never found Sera immature in this way, she's abrasive and yes, "immature" with the pranks etc., but Taash is written like a stereotypical teen, Sera just felt like a weirdo adult. And you can tell Alistair to suck it up lmao, it's really not even comparable. And the Isabela scene with the push-ups.... talk about making it all about yourself. Taash should have just been nonbinary from the start if they were going to make the representation this awkward.

I wish Bellara's quest had more drama. You don't get to save her brother but you also have no scene where, for example, Bellara endangers Rook or lets Anaris escape because she is actually conflicted about her brother... Rook and her just kinda let them go. Bellara is okay with killing her brother with barely any convincing lol.

Emmrich and Davrin are still my favorites, I think Davrin just works, and i like that we get to see more of his background. He's not terribly ~deep~ but he doesn't have to be, saving the griffons is an understandable goal, one that would be devastating to fail. Just a charismatic man that has things he cares about with conviction.

Emmrich is an interesting portrayal of necromancy which is something i'm always receptive to, i'd play a DA game set entirely in Nevarra. His quest has wild tonal shifts but at least the set dressing kept me interested. I do wish we didn't decide for him if he became a lich tho.

I wish with all the companions the way it worked was they decide based on previous dialogues. If you keep encouraging emmrich to pursue lichdom and face his fear then he does, if not, the opposite happens. i'm just not a fan of the "here's the moment where rook decides another person's fate!!!" like why am i deciding. it's their life.

i romanced Lucanis this time to try to see why people like him so much but man, i just think his whole story is a mess. they love to imply all the trauma Lucanis has but don't truly convey any of it. you don't even talk about being a crow with Lucanis like you talk about being a watcher with Emmrich. I guess it's my bad for expecting an assassin that has been tortured and forced into an abomination to be more of an interesting character.

i'm gonna need to know more about a companion than he has trauma, he likes coffee and he cooks, to be invested. The coffee thing feels like flanderization before i even know the man, put the damn cup down. First time i felt this disconnected with a romance.

i felt like they really squandered Spite too. You'd think a demon possessing a companion would cause more trouble than 1 escape attempt. Lucanis missing the first stab attempt barely registers as Spite's fault. Spite doesn't get any sort of pay off or drama.

I could forgive a lot more if the writing was better but the bad writing stands out so much more on a second playthrough. The basic dialogue, the spoon-feeding of info, the marvel-quips, the uninteresting side quests. Can't believe that i had to find out from fucking tumblr that the time Rook spent in the fade was WEEKS, you'd think that would be an impactful detail. Legit thought they got him out in a day lmao. Explains the dagger coming out of nowhere.

They try so hard to make the team cute and wholesome, it cemented my dislike of the found family trope. It comes across as so unearned. The game is like half competent writing, half DA fanfiction. Everything to do with Solas is okay. But everything else is so off. At least they managed to make Solas a love-to-hate type character for those like me who did not care about him in DA:I. The reason i'm not talking too much about the overall plot is it was okay, i just don't care that much about the evanuris. weird choice to try to blame it all on the elves tho. Like i love you but stfu Bellara, you do not have to take on the sins of the father. Have the elves not been through enough?