#i have more stuff about the whole Izuru and Hajime thing in this AU because me and my friend just couldn't stop about them once we got going

[theamityelf]

How chaotic would the mini senpai au be if they hadn't lost their memories? Like, Hajime is still Izuru, and the whole group is Ultimate Despair (with the Imposter replacing Chiaki, with Chiaki probably being dead - or maybe Chiaki being Junko's captive, the only one not despaired stuck with the mastermind? Either way is fun. Side note, its hysterical to imagine Imposter being stuck with Junko in the control room in the normal mini senpai AU, I don't know if that was your intention but I love the idea of imposter specating with Junko, being like "don't fall for that trap!" Or "Ibuki, Sayaka is swipping a knife, please just turn your head a little bit to the right-!", meanwhile Junko finds the whole "helpess to stop the tragedy incoming" angle of having the Imposter with her amusing as hell). Byakuya suggests they just kill their mini senpai's and be done with it, but Monokuma pops up and is like, ohoho! Not on my watch! If your mini senpai dies, so does you!!

And maybe some of the motives is someone killing a mini senpai because they think they're dangerous, even at the cost of their non-mini classmate's life, and that counts as a murder. And you'd definitely have the remnants all whispering in their kouhai's ears, trying to motivate them to do their worst. Plus, I imagine Ultimate Despair has a bunch of internal conflict (for example, Mikan and Nagito hate each other), so the THH cast also has to deal with that. ("Can we murder Mikan, Makoto? Pretty pretty please?" "No, Komaeda-kun, we cannot.") It also has delicious dynamics of... "these mini senpais are dangerous, but I have to take care of them," and all the messy power dynamics that come with that. People like Byakuya and Kyouko are convinced that the senpai's know who the mastermind is, and there's no trust among them all, just suspicion and reluctant care and blatant manipulation to try and get them to murder. It would be SO FUN.

It absolutely would be such a delightful mess!

Just imagining the breakfast conversation. Maybe Makoto's like, "Hey, guys? Is anyone else's senpai telling them to kill, kind of a lot?"

And everyone else was trying to play it close to the chest, but once the seal is broken they're all just like "YES! What's up with that?"

And maybe Sonia wasn't directly telling Byakuya to kill; she was just subtly feeding his most un-trusting and solipsistic thoughts, and hearing everyone else talk about how their less subtle senpais have been talking causes him to realize she's been manipulating him.

Izuru hasn't been trying to convince Kyoko to kill at all, which makes her even more suspicious. When she privately asks him what he's up to, he's just like, "I'm observing." In the later chapters, she starts to leave him with Makoto, because she doesn't want him watching her investigate the mystery of the school and she doesn't feel like taking time away from her investigations to feed him and stuff. It's a show of trust in Makoto, since he could get her killed by killing Izuru, but by that point she's seen Izuru casually leap great distances and lift proportionally heavy things enough that she also knows it's possible that Izuru might kill Makoto.

[spittyfishy]

Info for the Mastermind Sonia au!

So! Tbh the fun thing about any sdr2 mastermind au is because of all the cannon remnant stuff any of the cast could have easily been the one to fill the mastermind role and it still would have made sense. So I don’t think anything would need to differ from cannon until the last trial.

It was ages ago I was first thinking all this up so forgive me if I’ve forgotten something lol, but here’s how I sort of think it would go.

Everyone in the last trial is trying to uncover the mastermind, and while they’re pretty sure it must be Worldender/Future Foundation, Hajime says for completion's sake they need to go over if any of those in the game could have been doing it (despite the others protests). At the beginning of the game Sonia, Fuyuhiko, and Twogami commanding organizations that could have had the power/influence to run the game was brought up so they’d likely go over that again, but eventually that would turn to who could have actually made everything.

They’ve seen some crazy advanced machinery and cybernetics during the game, monokuma himself is enough of an example for that, so who could have built it all? Out of their class, there’s really only one person with the know-how, and he just so happens to have somehow made it all the way to the final trial despite the odds, isn’t that weird?

Things get very loud and ridiculous as it’s made clear Hajime is basically accusing Kazuichi of being the mastermind. Kaz himself freaking out, Fuyuhiko and Akane rushing to defend him (‘have you seen the limp noodle of a man?? No way could he be the mastermind!!’), and Hajime trying to explain.

Eventually they come up against the biggest hole in Hajime’s theory, that being the why of it. If Kazuichi did this it wouldn’t have been without a reason, and no one can think of a motivation. Not fully sure what makes it finally click yet, but it dawns on Hajime, Fuyuhiko, and Akane that there already is someone on the island they’ve seen that Kazuichi will do practically anything for, without question or complaint.

That’s when Sonia gets to do her big reveal and costume change, proudly declaring that she was the mastermind running things, and everyone else should really start bowing.

Then it’s a lot of monologuing, info like she had her memories the whole time but didn’t give Kazuichi his back until the third trial (explaining why he was so distrustful of Hajime in the funhouse bc who the heck is this guy he wasn’t a remnant or in their class why is he here???), and of course dropping the whole ‘haha you guys are secretly evil too!’ Remnant bomb.

I think that reveal would be much more impactful coming from one of their own, since Sonia and Kaz clearly being so different would add credibility to the claims. Personally I would love if Sonia had enough control on the program to like, snap her fingers and put everyone else in their remnant outfits just to really drive the point home, but that might just be the remnant brain rot talking lol.

Around then is probably when Junko’s AI would have to come on the scene, and shortly after the thh survivors from the future foundation. From that point it probably follows the same Hajime: oh no I’m Izuru Kamakura and talentless everything is terrible forever! Chiaki somehow: no you’re awesome:) Hajime: yay hope! Formula from cannon lol, and the program gets shut down.

That’s what I’ve got so far! There’s still a few things I’m not sure about, like if Sonia should get a full blown execution, or if it would be better to change things earlier on so that Gundham can be in the final trial for maximum emotional affect lol.

[rinringringu]

okay listen be more chill danganronpa au YES OK EVERYONE HAS DONE THAT I KNOW but. But. But. squip nagito LISTEN. LISTEN. LISTEN OKAY... So like, of course you're gonna have hajime be jeremy because who else would be him. But y'know there's differences like I think it's more about the society they r in and like japan is different from america but also like. dangan universe is much more fucked up but removing that it's obviously a good fit. Now the SQUIP like of course you'd have izuru that makes perfect sense it makes much more sense than my idea but the reason I'm saying "UMMM what if squip nagito" is more like. Omfg like of course it would be slightly different because squip does take more of a 'mature' appearance in almost all interpretations and that is perfect but also like. The 'i can make this better and better' FITS???? KIND OF???? BECAUSE LIKE KOMAEDA IS ALWAYS GOING ON ABT HOW HE KNOWS SHIT.... how TO FIX STUFF... HOW HE THINKS VERY FERVENTLY THAT THINGS SHOULD BE A CERTAIN WAY... I'm saying this so badly but it's really late and I keeded. To say this. Like you have to understand dude Also he could both fit book/play squip and musical squip because the sentiment is the same only musical is taken to. The Extreme. WHICH MAKES SENSE???? WHY DO I FEEL LIKE CREATING A HIVEMIND IS SUCH A NAGITO THING TO DO. "I am going to improve your life [name], even if I have to take over the whole student body to do it!" HE WOULD SAY THAT. DO YOU SEE IT IJ THE DISTAJCE TJE VISION

[lunar-wandering]

@ophanem this is gonna be a rather long post because god do I have a lot for the vigilante Kokichi AU. (also. send me/@me in a post with your phantom thief Kokichi AU. i need it.)

anyways here we go:

so basically this whole AU started when I texted my friend this:

“Shuichi: You're the hero DICE who's been fighting off all these villains this past month?!!

Kokichi: Me? A hero? That's crazy, you know me, if I was anything I would be the villain.

Shuichi: Kokichi we literally just caught you pulling DICE's mask out of your backpack.

Kokichi: ~Putting the mask back into the backpack~ You didn't see anything.

Kiibo: Um, I'm pretty sure we did.

Or, the AU where the class discovers their troublemaking classmate is also the vigilante superhero that's been saving their asses for the past month or so.”

and then things just got wild from there.

- The reason Kokichi’s superhero name is DICE is because before he gave the public a name, he was caught doing something rather odd while in his hero outfit, and a reporter went to ask him what he was doing, and he cut them off by saying “Don’t I can’t explain.” and the public found that hilairious, so it became a town meme, which then became an abbreviation, which the public then decided was his name.

- Kokichi’s powers are telekinisis and illusions. (he can make stuff float and also make it seem like something’s there when it’s not. he uses these powers to make it seem like he has more powers, since he can use telekinisis to make it look like he’s really strong and can fly, and he can use illusions to make it seem like he can duplicate)

- Literally everyone in the class gets saved by DICE at least once before they find out. (Kaito is the last person in the class to actually meet DICE by the way, because Kaito likes heroes so the fact that he’s the last to encounter him is irony or something)

- The whole class forms a “who is DICE” investigation group after he saves all of them. note “whole” class. Kokichi is a part of this group. (He spends half the time messing with them and the other half diverting Shuichi’s suspicions)

- After they find out the meetings continue to avoid suspicion from the other classes but the meetings kinda turn into “Kokichi we saw you get punched by a villain on live television we know you're not okay now sit down so we can treat your injuries” and “did i ever tell you guys about that one time a villain nearly killed me with ketchup” “how does one almost get murdered via a tomato sauce” “well Keyboy for 1 its called ketchup and 2 a villain knocks an entire shelf of it on top of you. With all the ketchup everywhere looking like blood im 90% sure the store employees thought i was dead”

- “Since we now know that you are DICE we can finally ask you this question. Did you, or did you not, dab in the middle of a battle.”

- Everyone lives in the student dorms.

- Before and after they knew he was DICE, Kokichi used his powers to make them think the dorms were haunted. (the only person who still believes they’re haunted after the reveal is Kaito)

- Kokichi uses his powers of illusion to make himself look taller as DICE

 (i kind of went downhill into memes and humor after this)

- The Superhero Dorm RulesTM (theirs a lot of them so I’m gonna make a seperate post for those

- A superhero? In our dorm? It’s far more likely than you think.

- The only people outside of the class who know (and inevitably join the “who is DICE/DICE Secret Club”) are Naegi, Kirigiri, Nagito, Hajime, Chiaki, and Izuru

- oh by the way Izuru and Hajime share a body in this AU

- (i kind of fell down an Izuru hole after having this realization so there is. a lot with him. d. do you know who Izuru is. if not I’m really sorry for kinda spoiling you.)

- Hajime was the last person to find out.

- Which is hilairious considering him and Izuru share a body (and Izuru was one of the first to figure it out. saw Kokichi sneaking in late one night.)

- Kokichi: ~quietly sneaking in at 1 am after a night of superheroing and turns on the light~

Izuru: ~calmly sitting at the table, sipping tea~

Kokichi: ~screams and telekinetically throws chair~ WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE

Izuru: ~calmly dodges chair~ your classmates requested i make sure you were not injured when you returned, as i normally stay up late anyway. Its quite a boring job but i was forced into it.

- no one knows Izuru and Hajime share a body at first which leads to shenaingains but eventually they figure it out

- The DICE Secret Club has a party. and someone brings alchohol. things devolve rather quickly.

- Kokichi accidentally explodes the dorm microwave with his powers

- Naegi trips and falls on top of a villain, allowing DICE to save the day

(I have a list of chapter concepts because I originally planned on turning this into a fic hold on let me give you the highlights. most of them are rather tropey tho.(all set after the discovery))

- The struggles of the class covering for Kokichi when he leaves to go fight

- A chapter where they pull an “I am Spartacus” thing and the whole class dresses up as DICE to help him out

- “Kokichi does not need a therapist” (chapter 35)

- How to explain why DICE is sleeping on the couch in your dorm to people from other classes (this is the part one of the chapter where the other 6 find out/reveal they know)

- Shuichi decks a villain

- “Mind Control” (chapter 70)

- Camping gone wrong (chapter 65) and Camping gone horribly wrong (chapter 66)

- “Hug a hero day”

- Kokichi gets stuck in a time loop

- “that one time Kokichi almost died”

- “Let’s reenact the Titanic” (in terms of the boat sinking)

and that’s all I really have right now, I’m gonna post the Dorm Rules in a second

[hajihiko]

Ive been wondering. Did Hajime and Izuru finally fuse at the end, or is it still somewhat Hajime, and Izuru is just rolling around in his head drinking tea like a high class individual?

I think it's never totally explained, only that somehow neither Izuru nor Hajime is gone. But here's my own (long) take on the whole shebang;

Mind you, this is just how I like to interpret things, for my own reasons! Not dissing anyone else's takes, and my only reason is "this resonates a lot with me". Also it's just my general take, maybe other people have opinions and maybe it depends on AUs and such. I implore you to remember that this is just how I like to look at the topic through my own lens.

Basically, when I'm drawing Hajime or Izuru or HajiZuru, it's Oops! All Hajime.

Hajime at the earliest that we see: student, crippling self esteem and inferiority issues, pretty brash but smart and friendly. Signs up for the Project.

Hajime (Izuru) in and after the project: No emotions, no personality, no memories. This stuff makes up a person, so he *is* effectively a different one, but it's still a Hajime. Just, one that has been completely crushed and is behaving purely on auto-logic, with no past references to go off of. The identity of Izuru Kamukura was thrust upon him, and he never really had any opinions on who he was (or, anything really).

Hajime (HajiZuru) post-game and onwards: both of those guys' memories, which are his memories, because he never really stopped being himself in the flesh. He's not the same as Hajime 1, because who could possibly be the same after that experience, but he's also not like Some Other Guy. He's the same but different, like you are the same person you were 10 but also probably fundamentally different

Like, I think of it less as different personalities in a literal sense, and more like "you're not really you when you lack everything that makes you you, and going through that much trauma changes you without removing you from yourself". Does that make sense?

To me, Izuru isn't a separate person or personality, just the complete lack of a personality in a person that's gotten their brain fucked with. They doesn't feel strongly about anything including themself and their identity, and I think someone mentioned that they use a phrase "I am called Izuru" rather than 'I am'. The lack of anything that makes up their person is what renders them almost unrecognizable from someone who was feisty and strong-minded and had some real wants and fears.

Sort of like, and maybe someone can relate, being intensely and I mean intensely depressed, traumatized and then amnesia on top of it all.

The way things have been explained to me (by a few therapists and a year of psychology, not that I'm saying I'm an expert just that it's a common way to look at it) is that, the brain makes these little pathways to have an easier time reacting to stuff. These pathways can be really fucking difficult to get out of when they're deep enough, and they tend to get deep when it feels like a matter of life and death or when they serve as a defense.

One of these pathways might be Shutting Out Emotion. Feeling feelings hasn't helped in the past, just made things worse, and Not Feeling was better than being miserable all the time, so there ya go. The tricky part is that shutting out every single emotion includes stuff like, want and need and hope (hehe) and dislike. It's hard to get out of this rut when you don't- can't- want to.

Izuru to me is what happens when a person breaks completely and the brain shuts it all away for protection because it can't deal. Being upset, in pain, angry, etc was Not Helping Hajime's situation so it all got filed away, but it's hard to shut out only certain parts, so the whole entire emotions thing got chucked out (with the help of surgeries). Brain enters complete depression mode of Nothing Feels Like Anything. And when things stop hurting, the brain is like OKAY GREAT WE DID IT. And like, it sort of did; the brain is not in constant distress anymore, so it does work as emergency protection (which is what the brain likes to do under so much duress). Also, again, surgery speedrun.

Hajime in the game gets a brain-altering kick out of this rut, that he wouldn't have managed on his own. His Big Moment was the choice to not fall into that brainpath again, even though it might be easier and more convenient (tying into my take on the theme of the ending which is to face hardships and not take the easy road out of fear or desperation or apathy). He gets back enough of memory, feeling and sensation to understand that he does want to be himself fully, warts and all, and now he can work on carving out brainpaths that let him have feelings and be himself as he chooses to be.

The idea that Want is an emotion is pretty big to me. Someone with absolutely no want, like Izuru, wouldn't really want to change, but not really want to stay the same, anyway. Doesn't want to be alive, but doesn't want to be anything else either; total apathy, which sounds like hell, except you can't really feel bad about it either. Hajime wanting to protect his friends from an impossible choice and not wanting to disappear was a deciding factor.

So, to answer the actual question lmao, in my opinion they can't really fuse since they were never different people to begin with, and they aren't separate either. It's just one guy who goes from being a normal insecure person, to having no memory or feeling, to regaining his memories and choosing to take on the mess that is The Human Condition. Izuru is just a name someone slapped on a boy that had his brain broken.

I also think that there is a danger in Hajime ever falling back into that deep deep brainpath that he was in when he was effectively Izuru. If he embraced that emotionless but admittedly incredibly convenient way of being, it would be hard to get back to wanting to get out. With time, he might have carved out an even deeper brainpath that he decided on himself, and doesn't need to worry about snapping into an emotionless fog again. Ideal ending!

(Personal [feel free to skip]: the reason I'm really About this whole narrative is because I'm currently in the stage of carving out Emotion Brainpaths myself. No forced surgery or superpowers included (I wouldnt mind the latter), but I've been in a place where feelings were so shut out there was no Want for eating or moving or breathing, no sense of right and wrong beyond objective knowledge, and lot of reckless behaviour just to see if it did anything. I'm better now though! And that's why I'm so emo about my own take on this whole narrative.)

That was a long fucking read gold star if you made it ☆

[fuwahiko]

AU where fuyuhiko and hajime know each other because of natsumi, and when hajime disappears because kamakura project, both fuyuhiko and chiaki go on a blood rampage to find him. this AU is not thought out at all but my god imagine fuyuhiko finding him and basically outing hope's peak as a bullshit institution?? and taking care of hajime in his fancy yakuza house with the best doctors the mafia can buy?? and listen i can't stop thinking about this it hurts me emotionally but i love it

ooh yes I love this!! (I figure you probably meant to type natsumi again rather than chiaki there? idk? either way it’s good stuff) 

I like the ‘hajime disappears somehow and then fuyuhiko stops at nothing to find him’ theme we have going on on this blog now haha

ok ok but for serious I love the idea of like, fuyuhiko finding izuru and after a moment of staring it clicks in his head that he’s hajime... but like what happened to him? and fuyuhiko’s realising this person who is clearly hajime- but isn’t acting like him at all and doesn’t have that same warm presence that he loves- doesn’t even recognise him at all. somehow he brings izuru back to his place and before long he’s gathered a large team of doctors and other experts, but it’s not so quick and simple to get hajime back to how he was and fuyuhiko finds himself more and more stressed and overwhelmed and heartbroken every day. but then little things slowly start to change; one day izuru is furrowing his eyebrows and staring at fuyuhiko intensely, slowly starting to grasp at something, and fuyuhiko takes his face in his hands and looks into his unfamiliar deep red eyes, and izuru slowly raises a hand to gently trace the scar on fuyuhiko’s face in return, a little unsure of why he feels the urge to do so. there are times fuyuhiko reluctantly leaves izuru’s side to give him some space, and maybe izuru reaches out to stop him from going or he goes to say something to him. these little moments become more and more common as time goes by and fuyuhiko’s starting to feel more hopeful, but it’s still so tough.

idk I just love the idea of like... things slowly starting to come back to izuru even if he doesn’t really understand what everything means, he’s still making sense of things, then slowly but surely fuyuhiko’s patience and care pays off and izuru is seeming less like izuru and more like hajime. imagine hajime starting to really come back, he wakes up one day after a long sleep with a much clearer head than before, and he remembers fuyuhiko, really remembers him, and he gets up out of bed and heads straight to fuyuhiko to tell him that he’s okay and that he loves him, and fuyuhiko just breaks down and sobs as he holds him and hajime holds him back.

...y’know I wasn’t gonna do a long answer for this one but I got carried away

(also uh I kinda just focussed on like one element of this but I do enjoy the whole concept!! this is just what I felt like focussing on)

[theultimatecrabcake]

Some Danganronpa spoilers ahead for the entire franchise so please don't read if you don't want spoilers, serious topics will be discussed

Ok so a while back me and a discord friend had this au-ish idea where the entirety of danganronpa is just Tsumugi's trauma fanfiction based off of people she knows irl and online as a way to cope because she was abused and neglected at home

These are the main details of the au under the cut, there will be no in depth details about the abuse but it is mentioned, I sincerely apologize if I inaccurately portray these issues just in case I did

Tsumugi cosplays at home and that's why she calls herself the ultimate cosplayer, and she makes herself the mastermind because she likes being the villain to cope with her trauma

All the characters from dr1 and sdr2 and the dr3 anime are all based off of people online that she looks up to (or despises in some cases), and characters with alternate versions of themselves are the combinations of their siblings (ex. Toko and Syo are twins and Izuru, Hajime, and super saiyan Hajime are triplets), with the exception of Junko who is an actress who mainly plays villains but irl is really sweet

Monokuma is Tsumugi's homeroom teacher who occasionally lets his sister substitute and the monokubs are his young children that Tsumugi really hates, he's also Junko and Mukuro's uncle and he and Tsumugi have a father-daughter relationship

Junko helps Tsumugi with her cosplays and makeup which is why Tsumugi idolizes her so much and wants to be like her

A lot of the poor writing in dr is due to Tsumugi not having the proper writing experience or knowledge on certain subjects which is why they come off so poorly

The Love Hotel scenes are Tsumugi trying to work through her own sexuality crisis alone (albeit poorly), and her own LH scene is her projecting what she believes is the only relationship she'd ever be loved in even if it's really messed up

All of the blackened and antagonistic characters in dr are people Tsumugi either hates or fears, and those with redeeming motives are the ones Tsumugi fears but recognizes that they are good people

Most characters in dr are cosplayers irl, streamers/youtubers, or social media influencers, aside from in v3 where everyone is a classmate of hers

The survivors of v3 are Tsumugi's irl friends, and the survivors of the prior games just came down to process of elimination mixed with who she liked

Her insistence of being "plain" in the games is because her parents always called her useless, and a part of the reason she hates Monokuma's kids is because she envies them for having the happy childhood she never had

She made monokuma the mascot because he’s known for his brutal punishments to kids who severely break school rules

All of the backstories for the dr1 and sdr2 characters are based off of one of the following: their main cosplay, their favorite game that they’ve played, or their aesthetic on their main social media account

Tsumugi works a lot of part time jobs to pay for her cosplays and her clothes and food

At some point Tsumugi posted her trauma/vent fanfics online under a different pen name and renaming all of the characters so they couldn’t be tracked (each of the games and the anime were posted as their separate fanfics and each chapter in the games is a chapter in the fanfic) and the fanfic blew up super fast, which she didn’t expect, and then people started cosplaying it for the irony and when she’s asked about if she’ll cosplay from it she says she’s not in it for the irony, she also got jaw-dropped when the cosplayers she turned into some of the characters from dr1 and sdr2 started cosplaying from it

One time Kokichi found her fanfic for v3 and commented about how his character seemed super familiar and she responded “no reason :)” and blocked him because his username was super obvious, he soon makes confused posts about it on tiktok

Eventually during Tsumugi’s 3rd year she reposted all of the fanfics but with much better writing and character arcs because she took online writing classes and the internet BLEW UP EVEN HARDER and so many people geeked out over it

Eventually Tsumugi tells her close friends about how she wrote the fics but it accidentally gets out to the whole class and when anyone tries to bully her about it all of her friends fight the bullies

The Love Hotel scenes were completely separate fanfics she impulsively wrote and posted at 3am when her sexuality crisis hit too hard, even she hates them and deleted them a year after they were posted because she just can’t believe she wrote them, let alone post them, and never rewrote them

The following are her relationships with the characters in V3 since she has no real relationships with the characters in dr1 and sdr2

All of the character’s ultimates are in fact based on actual skills they each have, and if they don’t have a distinct skill Tsumugi deep dives and tries to think of one, Junko was mostly inspired by her ability to analyze super well, which helped with her makeup ability, and because she played villain characters who caused despair

Edit: forgot to mention, but when Tsumugi kills her self insert at the end of v3, it's her essentially venting out how if all the important people in her life leave her she has nothing to live for anymore

Shuichi: They met after being some of the few kids in class who had nowhere to sit during lunch so they sat next to each other, after talking some more and realizing they had a lot in common, they became really close and he would sometimes cosplay with her, he also has a crush on Kaede even though it’s only from afar due to his social anxiety, Tsumugi however feels as though she’s a burden to him which is why she has him hate her in the last trial, when she told him she wrote the fanfic he constantly reassured her that she’s not a burden and was super embarrassed that he was made the protag after kaede, though he did find pregame him a bit odd

Himiko: Himiko is also an outsider due to her depression and general tired personality, she’s one of the few people who don’t judge Tsumugi for her cosplaying and anime interests and they’re both in anime club and will occasionally cosplay together, she was the one who accidentally let it slip about the fanfic thing but Tsumugi couldn’t bring herself to be mad

Maki: Another outsider but on purpose, she met Tsumugi after she found Tsumugi getting bullied and pushed around by some older kids, and afterwards she hung around Tsumugi to protect her and they eventually got pretty close even though Maki is generally socially dead, she also helps get Tsumugi food when Tsumugi’s parents are too neglectful to feed her, she also is the main protector of Tsumugi from her bullies, before and after the fic

Kiibo: An exchange student from being homeschooled, he and Tsumugi used to be pretty close, he was pretty famous on social media so sometimes they would go and do influencer stuff together and he’d cosplay with her, eventually he started dating Miu and they got a bit more distant due to Tsumugi not being a big fan of Miu, but they have no harsh feelings towards each other, even though Tsumugi thinks he hates her, he’s also a top student, he was a little weirded out by how both he and Miu were portrayed in the original fic but after talking it out with Tsumugi he let it slide and they talk more often because of that

Kaede: She met Kaede in secondary school and they got fairly close up until Kaede met Rantaro, after they met Kaede started hanging out with him more (romantic or platonic is up for interpretation) and Tsumugi was really hurt and jealous which is why she has Kaede kill Rantaro, she and Tsumugi reignited a relationship after the fanfic thing came out because she was super concerned about how Tsumugi was doing since you don’t just write that stuff without having some sort of trauma, they became closer afterwards and told Tsumugi she was flattered she was made into such a nice girl but also kinda freaked out that Tsumugi technically killed her but they also talked that out, she didn’t hold pregame Kaede against her because Kaede did in fact act like that when she was younger

Rantaro: Him and Tsumugi knew each other in middle school but didn’t like each other, she envied him because of how easy of a time he had making friends, and later on hated him for “stealing” Kaede from her, he is on ok terms with Tsumugi after the fanfic incident because Kaede and Tsumugi reignited a friendship and they tolerate each other

Kirumi: Tsumugi fears and looks up to Kirumi, as Kirumi is head of the student council and class rep but also very strict, one time Tsumugi got pushed down before school and was forced to come with a dirty uniform and Kirumi ripped into her for it and made her cry (although Kirumi quickly apologized and tried to comfort her but the trauma already set in), after she learned about the fic she talked to Tsumugi and gave her a singular pass for it because she did a fairly good job capturing Kirumi’s determination and sophistication

Ryoma: She’s never talked to Ryoma personally but she knows he has a criminal record for some minor crime and that scares her alongside how he one time suplexed a student three times his size after the student tried to pick on him for being short

Korekiyo: He freaks her out and she really hates his sister, and one time he psychoanalyzed her and it hit way too close to home so now she both doesn’t like him and respects him, which is why she just has his sister be the motive/his abuser because she full on just hates her cause she’s a “normie” who made fun of her one time in public, after he learned about the fic he tried to talk to her about the original version of the v3 fic to talk it through because he knew about her issues and now they’re on good terms

Angie: Funny enough she just is way too afraid to talk to Angie because she is a foreign exchange student and Tsumugi was really confused by her religion which is why it’s handled so poorly and why Angie is so focused on Atua, Angie also is super confident in herself and extroverted and that intimidated Tsumugi so much she just never talked to her, after the fic Angie sat her down and educated her on the details of her religion so Tsumugi could fix any accidental misconceptions about the religion and culture

Tenko: With Tsumugi’s constant sexuality crisis, she also has internalized homophobia which is why Tenko, an open women lover, scares her so much, Tsumugi can’t comprehend it so she made Tenko really creepy and oddly violent towards men even though the actual Tenko only beats up men who harass her or other women and not just every single man, she’s also really nice to Himiko and because Tsumugi fears Tenko she warped it

Miu: Miu is also a woman confident in her sexuality, she just comes off a lot more strongly than Tenko and is even more intimidating to Tsumugi, Tsumugi also thinks she’s gross because she’s open about her kinks and her gross ways of making sure she’s healthy, after she and Kiibo started dating she started to resent Miu, but regardless of this she still acknowledges that Miu is a top student, she only really likes Miu because she and Kokichi hate each other, but after it got out that Tsumugi wrote the fic Miu tried to pick on her but Maki scared her off

Gonta: She really loves Gonta and at some point had a crush on him, but he turned her down after Kokichi spread rumors that she was afraid of bugs and Gonta didn’t want to freak her out due to the fact he lives in an area full of bugs and has a few pet bugs, she has no harsh feelings towards him however and still likes him, though not as a crush, Gonta was still super nice to her after the fic thing and doesn’t think any less of her

Kokichi: She absolutely despises him and everything he does, they’ve known each other since they were kids and he’s always picked on her, though to him he’s only friendly teasing and thinks they have a friendly rivalry, he does everything out of childish amusement and doesn’t actually think he’s doing any harm to her even though she actively hates him and has gotten punched on several occasions by Maki for teasing Tsumugi too much, he also is purposely controversial online and has tried to be cancelled way too many times but somehow finds a way to find dirt on the people cancelling him and now everyone is too scared to cancel him, he also “bullies” cosplayers on tiktok by dueting them and mocking them but to him it’s ironic but to everyone else it isn’t, he has done this to Tsumugi on multiple occasions and she hates it, he tried to tease her about writing the fic and blocking him but Maki punches him in the throat, he makes a tiktok about that as well but keeps her identity a secret

Kaito: He became Maki’s boyfriend sometime after she met Maki and, in his stupidity, accidentally insulted Tsumugi’s comfort cosplay and she hated him after that, his death and illness was inspired by the one time he got the flu and gave it to everyone and it ruined one of her wigs, after a while they began talking more and she began to realize he wasn’t a jerk, just really stupid, so she made him a nicer character, after it got out that she wrote the fanfics she asked if he was mad he died but instead he was like “nah man that was a super cool way to go”, he was confused on pregame Kaito until Tsumugi explained that that’s how she used to see him

[idiotwhotalkstoomuch]

Here I go again on ship prompts cause I have no au ideas (that you guys can still totally ask for)

So here is Hinadam childhood friends and non despair au cause I only do mastermind stuff in Naehinahara cause torturing Shuichi is fun : )

Hinadam headcannons

• The two met around the age of 8 in class with Hajime approaching Gundham cause he wanted to have a friend

• Gundham and Hajime started off the same way they did in canon with Gundham calling Hajime trash at first but Hajime kept approaching him cause he was extremely lonely and was actually pretty amused by Gundham

• When Hajime and Gundham had become proper friends, Gundham frequently dragged Hajime with him when he went to strays and Hajime noticed he had a fondness for hamsters so he got him one as a gift for Christmas

• He loved him(platonic for now) forever for that declaring him a “dark prince” who had summoned the whatever his name was for these hamsters since it ranges from “Four Dark Devas of Destruction” and “Twelve Zodiac Generals”

• Hajime was very embarrassed at first when Gundham started that but he got used to it

• Gundham’s mother was very happy to meet Hajime since he was her son’s first friend and Hajime viewed her as family more than his own (refer to my post on Hajime’s family)

• Gundham “curses” Hajime’s family for their treatment of him but he brushes it off cause he doesn’t care (HE LIEEEEEEES)

• When Gundham’s mother died (yes it happened while in English he says “when my love oned dies” in Japanese he uses past tense so she is dead), Hajime supported him through it and this is around the time Gundham does the contract with Hajime where he can’t die without his permission

• When they enter Hope’s peak, their relationship is similar to Hajime and Chiaki’s in Despair arc but more natural and closer

• One night, Gundham left something in Hajime’s dorm and found out about the Izuru Kamukura project with the help of his Twelve Zodiac Generals when trying to search for the thing he left

• He confronted Hajime on this and asked what demon was possessing him to even consider this and they had a bit of an argument but it ended with Hajime breaking down and apologizing to Gundham

• Later on, Hajime had to leave Hope’s peak academy because his parents refused to pay for tuition and Hajime and Gundham promised to stay in touch

• At one point, it sort of came as a gay crisis to the two like “oh shit since when did I think about Hajime/Gundham that way?”

• During the times they can see each other, Hajime keeps his feelings to himself while Gundham flirts in his exaggerated and supernatural way

• Sonia notices this and becomes Gundham’s first wingwoman

• Emphasize “first”

• Hiyoko found out and told the whole class he now has pretty all his class as his wingman (even Chisa cause she’s a great teacher and person)

• Chisa manages to get Hajime to visit the class while they set up the classroom for Gundham to confess

• It was very exaggerated and had demon circles but Hajime accepted while laughing a bit cause of course Gundham confessed like that

• Their dates consists of caring for animals and playing video games (since Hajime likes video game in canon. Chiaki approves and always suggest a new game for them to try together)

• Gundham gets annoyed when there’s no hamster option for familiars in fantasy games

• Hajime was the first one to kiss Gundham because despite Gundham’s proud persona, he doesn’t actually have the balls to make a move

And that’s all for now please send asks for ships and au asks I’m bored out of my mind here

[colourful-void]

Hope’s Peak AU Kamakura Project

Alright! So this is my au and I do what I want, and thus I’m trying to adapt as much of the canon story as possible into this AU.

Obviously this is spoilers so if you haven't made it this far yet, come back later. 

So in this au, despair just,,,, isn't a thing? Komaeda isn't obsessed with it, Junko isn’t bored, and most importantly, there is no reserve course.   

You might be wondering, ‘but void, if there’s no reserve course, how did Hinata get chosen for the Kamakura project? If there’s no reserve course, how did they get the funding?’

Well I’ll explain everything, why there's a project, why Hajime was chosen, the effects of the project, timeline, and final results, below the cut.

In Hajime’s first year at high school (Kodaka High School, not hope’s peak) a rumour was circling around about Hope’s Peak. Apparently there was some sort of underground project about manufacturing talent.

Seeing as Hajime’s dream was to attend Hope’s Peak, he and his parents jumped on this rumour, digging up all they could find. Eventually they found an application process, and through random chance, Hajime was selected.

He was taken onto campus by some sketchy people, claiming to be the Hope’s Peak Steering Committee. Hajime was too starstruck to be suspicious of everything that was going on. 

Since Hajime wasn’t technically a Hope’s Peak Student, everything was kept under wraps. Just like in canon, Juzo, Chisa, and Kyousuke learn about the project and begin to investigate. They were not affiliated with the project, just investigate because something seemed suspicious. (Juzo over heard some stuff, Chisa saw a student she didn’t recognize on school grounds, Kyousuke got a hold of some files)

After some intense investigation, the trio was able to break into the area where they were keeping Hajime/Izuru, and shut everything down. It was a whole large scandal thing, and the entire steering committee was sent were sent to jail.

The people running the project were also fanatic fans of Hope’s Peak, trying to use Hajime as an experiment to make artificial talent so they could live up to that ideal. They hoped they’d be able to use the technology they created to eventually give themselves talent too. now they’re in jail for life, so it likely won’t be happening anytime soon.

The project was shut down before entirely completed, and due to the nature of the project, Hajime wasn’t entirely turning into a separate person. Instead, that person split off and became Izuru. (they share a body)

Hajime still has a ton of talents, though technically not all of them. It’s a gamble to see what he’s good at. (At one point, Nagito tries to investigate what those talents might be, similar to the beginning of 2)

A large part of the scandal came from the fact that the people claiming to be the hope’s peak steering committee were in fact, Not the Hope’s Peak Steering Committee, and in fact, Hope’s Peak doesn’t even have a steering committee. 

The integrity and security of the school was called into question, and so, because they felt bad and also to attempt to appear less scandalous, Hope’s Peak offered Hajime a slot at Hope’s Peak. All costs for Everything would be covered for him, he wouldn’t have to take exams, and he’d be exempt from typical talent research. they also just gave him a whole lot of money to prevent him from suing them.

Free school is free school, and despite Hajime’s experience, he decided he didn’t want to give up on his dream just yet, now facing Hope’s Peak with a more grounded approach and beginning on his own terms. 

In terms of what the project actually entailed and what and a bunch of other stuff to make up for it, Hajime ended up getting his memory wiped of most of it, and he’s pretty grateful for it.

Izuru, who mainly just sits in Hajime’s head and makes snide comments, finds Hope’s Peak boring, and is more than happy to let Hajime just go about and live his life. 

Most people at Hope’s Peak know why Hajime’s there, but for the most part no one cares. By his third year, it’s old news.

(oh and if your wondering why I cut the reserve course: reserve course students can’t get jealous if there is no reserve course)

Not a perfect parallel, but this is my version of events for the au. If you’ve got questions, leave em below!!

[crazynekochan]

Omegaverse Fantasy AU: There are two kingdoms, one far more prosperous than the other, but the less prosperous kingdom has an skilled army, and a climate & terrain that would make any sort of military campaign pure misery (like if you combined Russia in the winter with the Vietnamese jungle) so they keep the peace by consistent trade for magical resources and technological components that the less prosperous kingdom can’t really use that much but the more prosperous one desperately needs if they want their very advanced magic-tech to keep running.

In the less prosperous kingdom, Mechana, omegas are not very well respected and seen mostly as wanton hussies that need to be controlled lest they shame their families, excepting some border towns. Heck, in more rural and poorer towns, having only an omega child is seen as a sign of weakness on their sire’s part (it’s not true, but this is superstition; stuff is never true). Quite unfortunately for Kazuichi and Mikan, as they both live in those sorts of rural towns and their families take out their frustrations on them.

In the more prosperous kingdom, Novoselic, omegas are pretty much the ideal mates and even common-born omegas can rise to the level of nobility through marriage. To abuse an omega is seen as a great disgrace, especially with the quite low omega birth rate making them very valuable as martial assets (though the omega has final say in who they marry, since they’re going to be stuck with their mate til death do they part). Some nobles are even willing to pay top dollar for the chance to mate an omega.

Seeing a golden opportunity to make some money (pranks and housing get expensive and half the organization was dirt poor before they joined), Kokichi and his organization DICE (which actually does have 10,000 members) create a business to bring omegas over from Mechana to Novoselic and arrange their marriages to high-ranking and/or wealthy sires, with the omegas getting full say in who they meet with and eventually mate, of course. No one’s quite sure if this is considered human trafficking, since the omegas are willingly going, but no one’s gotten arrested for it yet so it’s not against DICE rules.

The DICE agents in Mechana make habits of going into the regions where omegas are more likely to be treated poorly and they ask around about which families have omega children that they want to get rid of. When they find families willing to give up their omega children, they trade the kids for a hefty chunk of gold (which is a hunk of copper with some gold dust on it, of course) and then leave town when the omega is ready to leave (in the case of some highly abused omegas, right after the ‘gold’ changes hands). That the families most often suffer quite unfortunate “accidents” after the DICE agents are at least a couple miles away is a complete coincidence, they swear.

When the DICE agents (for this trip, Miu, Kaede, and Kaito, though they’re technically volunteers) come to Kazuichi’s village, Mr. Souda quickly volunteers Kazuichi up in exchange for the “gold”. Kaz would protest but defying his father rarely ends well and this is an opportunity to get away from his father and a village that has never treated well in his entire life, so he packs up his meager things and climbs onto the DICE covered wagon.

They head out and arrive in the nearby town where Mikan lives, while Kazuichi is lying on his side in the back of the wagon in pure misery from motion sickness, while Kaede is busy trying to use her healing music to help him fix it, if not stop him from barfing all over the back of the wagon (they have another town after this, then they have to get through the border and the smell stays in the wagon, no matter how much you clean).

Mikan comes aboard, very meek and shy, and quickly give Kaz some healing herbs that, while he’s still a bit dizzy, fixes his nausea. And when Kaz thanks her, she starts crying since no one had ever been that nice to her, much to the worry of everyone else in the wagon (Miu wishes she made the “accident” befalling the Tsumikis bigger, just for that).

Finally, they get to the last town on this trip, which is actually quite well off compared to the other towns in the region, the kind of town that Kazuichi and Mikan would define as a small city (it’s closer to a mid-size town, really). Miu is staying with the cart this time and is actually getting to know Mikan pretty well and has gotten on with Kazuichi like a house on fire. They’re in the middle of messing around with a test engine, with Mikan providing worried commentary, when they hear a massive argument approaching them from the town square entrance. 

They turn and see that Kaito and Kaede are in the middle of a quite nasty yelling match with an alpha male with long dark hair and blood red eyes, while a brunette omega male is pulling on the mystery alpha’s sleeve to keep him from actually punching Kaito. As all the omegas are quite easily terrified, they hide and watch the argument by peering around the wagon cover hole.

The alpha is Izuru, who is very much against his brother going off with some shady alpha and beta woman to have god knows what happen to him. Hajime wasn’t really sold so much as he volunteered, since their family was greatly in debt and they very much needed the money they would get from DICE (Kaito and Kaede gave them actual gold after hearing their story), which Izuru vocally opposed all the way from their home to the square, where the argument has reached a boiling point. 

Izuru notices Miu, Mikan, and Kazuichi peering at them from the cart (and they immediately go back into hiding because scary angry alpha) and gets angrier, convinced that this is actually an omega trafficking scheme (and it technically is, they haven’t worked out the whole “is this legal” thing yet). Because they’re causing a scene and this might actually turn into a fight, Kaede speaks up and suggests that Izuru come with Hajime as an escort, since that would prove that this isn’t a trafficking scheme (what idiot traffickers would bring the highly overprotective alpha brother of one of the omegas they’re trying to traffic, after all?). Hajime agrees to get Izuru to calm down, which makes Izuru reluctantly agree, giving threatening glances to Kaede and Kaito all while wishing their parents goodbye and getting in the wagon. 

Kaz, Mikan, and Miu all scoot as far away from Izuru as they can in the (not very roomy) wagon, but Hajime is much more personable and by the time they reach the border checkpoint, they’ve all become friends. They get let through the checkpoint relatively quickly and, after another day’s worth of travel (by which point the herbs that Mikan gave Kazuichi have all run out and worn off, so now Kaz is suffering from motion sickness again), they all arrive at the DICE Matchmaking Service HQ (which looks a lot like a love hotel, something that makes Izuru distinctly unhappy).

They finally disembark and are greeted at the front by part-timers Komaru and Aoi, who usher them to the rooms that they’ll be staying in while the matchmaking process goes on. When the group has gotten settled, they have dinner and meet with Shuichi and Kyoko (who are the part of the screening process for the agency) after. They meet individually, with each omega telling the two detectives what they want in a partner (Mikan apologizing and crying all the while) and the two detectives note their reactions, special traits, and personalities to better check for compatibility. 

When their meetings are done, the detectives wish the newcomers good night and head to Kokichi’s office with their findings. After giving Kokichi the basic rundown of each omega’s personality and appearance, Kokichi turns to his big board of sires and planned matches, looking extensively over it until he places some cautious pins and string connecting Kazuichi to Gundham (the princess’s best friend and the court animal trainer/sorcerer), Mikan to Ibuki and Chiaki (Ibuki (alpha, sorry) is a very famous bard and Chiaki is one of the most prominent gamers/mages in the continent, looking for a third in their relationship), and Hajime to Nagito (Grand Duke and the king’s nephew on his mother’s side). After looking over the connections, Kokichi tells Kyoko to tell Gundham, Ibuki, and Nagito in the morning that they’ve got a match.

Kazuichi and Mikan have never been in housing this nice or had food that good, so they’re really happy but scared about what the future may bring. Hajime and Izuru, who are still pretty cautious about this whole enterprise but needs to put on a brave face for Kaz and Mikan, who are much more nervous, act pretty happy too but when Kaz and Mikan are asleep, they have a quiet discussion about what would happen if this turns out to be a terrible idea. Izuru swears to protect Hajime before he gets hurt, they hug and then head to sleep, a bit worried and already preparing ways to escape with all of them alive and intact in case this goes sour.

(AN: And that’s where I’m ending it because good god, I need to sleep. I’ll probably send more asks about this Matchmaker AU, but this initial set is way too long for an ask chain. Please leave some feedback!)

—

Mod: I am so in love with this. I actually read this one a few times over the last few weeks. Though I always go “poor baby” when I read it, because I feel so bad for them all ;-;

Anyway, that is a very awesome idea and sadly the first time I saw it in such a way. I saw many prompts and fics with such omega matchmaking services, but they never were voluntary on the omega’s side. So it’s such a wonderful change to see one where it’s all about rescuing omegas from their bad homes and letting all the say in their hands

Kokichi would be so boss at his job at finding the perfect match, since he is after all a very analytical person and deeply caring, even if he never really shows it. But by god he would have the time of his life making the omegas’ shitty families miserable for mistreating their children for their dynamic (What would make it even more badass if we added in my personal HC that Kokichi would also be an omega, but that is of course up to you) Also great call to have Kyoko and Shuichi do background checks on everyone who comes into the matchmaking service to make sure that everyone is safe

Truth to be told, I could actually see Sonia funding DICE’s projects since she does have a high sense for justice. And also because her best friend and cousin are after all also trying to find a match through the service

I loved how you put in Izuru and why Hajime decided to go there. It fits them both well, and the thought of Nagito later on trying to court Hajime while Izuru is literally giving him death stares since he doesn’t trust him for a moment is funny as hell. Btw. there is no need to feel sorry for having a character have a dynamic that isn’t my personal HC. This is your story and I’m not some dictator who decides on headcanons ^^ So in short, feel free to change things up as much as you like ♥

I wonder how the courting of all the characters would look like, considering the background of how they met and especially their characters. I could imagine Nagito not feeling like he is actually deserving of someone like Hajime, while Izuru is as mentioned giving him constant death glares. Gundham is seriously questioning just what in god’s name made him sign up at the matchmaking service when he gets the note that they found a match, which he really doesn’t believe, until he meets Kazuichi and his brain just deep fries. While Mikan would probably hit it right off with Ibuki and Chiaki, however her trauma would be the biggest problem in their case

[moddeydhoo]

I see Chalky as someone who also suffers in Hajime's warped worldview (lord love him but, as you say, mentally healthy people don't get lobotomised because they like themselves). I see her as his kind of idealised crush but in a last-gasp-of-heterosexuality way, one more way he tries to match up to an unhealthy societal ideal, rather than someone he sees as a whole person. He'll ogle her in beachwear but the second they have a conversation about her special interests he's tuning out in his head a little, sort of thing. (And he's a teenage boy. That's normal! Girls pretty, talking hard. It's not a moral failing.)

(I do usually see him as bi but the point's still there; they're not romantically suited. They're great as friends. I live for platonic Chiaki content. Anything with her and Izuru in the talent development modes is golden. (Don't know what it is about Izuru's ability to attract intelligent female friends who can verbally kick his arse but it's lovely and he deserves it.))

Which actually ties into the ways both game and series do her dirty. She doesn't get to do her own thing. She's forced into this kind of waifu mould and it has bad consequences for her personally and for everything generally. She just wants to play video games and be a socially awkward hermit, which, based tbh, but instead she's dragged into Wacky Hijinks and holding a Smash tournament for her class is treated as this god gamer revelation and, well, she eventually suffers a lot for the pedestal the narrative shoves her onto. (A buddy/fellow Kamukoma-and-Komahina writer has a whole rant about how dirty they did Chiaki, lol. I can only give highlights here.)

(also sonanami best ship lol)

(sorry for my rambles about Best Girl/s I just lomf her)

(anyway Nagito IS the foil and the one with all the complex Stuff going on with Hajime, sorry; it just is that way. People can ship whatever; you don't need to justify how it's 'canon', honestly you don't, you can just say "well in my fic/hc/au/kinmems it's this way" and avoid having to argue against pretty clear subtext and actual text, like... it's cool, you're allowed not to enjoy what canon gives us, but this IS what canon gives us)

ill have peace when people realize that theres barely any romantic implications beyond waifubait with hajime & chiaki in sdr2 (hajime is even like “what is up with this girl” multiple times because she cant hold convo, love her) meanwhile there’s immediately romantic implications between hajime & nagito

hajime and chiaki’s relationship is not inherently romantic beyond it being a boy and a girl who care about each other, and people thinking that needs to be romantic. it makes more sense as an important friendship. because chiaki is important to and cares about ALL of her classmates in the same way.

but ultimately chiaki COULDN’T save hajime. not in dr3. it’s true that a vision of her manages to talk hajime out of his despair in chapter 6. but the REAL chiaki could NOT save him from himself, because she has a fundamental mismatch and doesn’t truly understand his feelings on worthlessness and lack of talent. she has a talent, she even says to him that it’s “harder” to be talented than not, and she’d prefer it. that’s completely ignoring his feelings on the matter.

while it can be argued that dr3 shows more romantic implications between them, it’s also where she’s least compatible and helpful for him. she can’t understand why he’s so upset about talent, so she can’t talk him out of his mindset and prevent him from doing the project. even if she doesn’t know that’s what her words are doing, she still fails.

i won’t say komaeda would talk him out of it, because i don’t think many people could. hajime hates himself deeply enough to become another person, it’s hard to talk anyone out of that mindset. but komaeda understands hajime in a way no one else does - because everyone else in sdr2 is talented, and doesn’t really ride or die for the whole “talented vs untalented” dichotomy, but they don’t not participate in it. 

komaeda isn’t really talented on the other hand, and he even wishes he wasn’t, and treats himself like he isn’t. because he believes he doesn’t deserve the title. just like hinata, he believes strongly in the worth of ultimates and the worthlessness in comparison of those beneath them - like himself and hinata.

komaeda’s worldview is nearly the exact same as hinata’s, just pushed a bit further and a bit more twisted. hinata’s worldview isn’t any more healthy than komaeda’s, either - a healthy worldview doesn’t lead to you lobotomizing yourself. they understand each other in a way no one else in sdr2 can because they both have this inferiority/superiority complex about talent.

that’s why the narrative revolves around them so much. their stories begin and end with each other.

chiaki is important to hajime, yes, but not in any romantic sense. they’re friends. and that’s fine. a male and a female character don’t have to be romantic to be deeply important to each other. danganronpa is not above putting an m/f ship as endgame, this is obvious with naegiri, and if that was ever the intention with hajime and chiaki they would’ve. but instead we see a literal scene where hajime leaves his memory of chiaki behind and moves on from her, as he needs to, as they all need to, carrying her memory with him but not living in the past, and as he leaves her he joins nagito instead.

and this is the FINAL shot of them. to end the series.  i think it’s pretty clear what they intended with this.

essentially, nagito and hajime complete each other. they are soulmates. end of ramble

[kimmysfandomblog]

Makoto and Hajime, since it's the week ? :D

Thank you, Chloe~ Sorry I took so long to reply!

I’m really sad the week’s at an end TTvTT It was honestly a rewarding experience, and I’m really pleased with how it turned out (so far... I know some people still with WIPs or said they were wanting to join, but didn’t have time to start, and I hope they submit it later rather than give up!)

Anyways, on with the ask!

From here:  A MORE DETAILED CHARACTER MEME!

Makoto Naegi:

What I like about them

How he had been in the first game was really endearing! Yeah, there wasn’t a whole lot of confidence in himself, but he was still one to try to be optimistic and see the best in people. He’s truly kind and pretty selfless, although a bit of a goof as well XD I think that he was alright of a protagonist! And even in DR3, he had good moments. I liked how he was able to piece together what had been going on using Kirigiri’s clues, and his suspicion of Mitarai as well (from what I remember, that was his own way of connecting the dots?) And while I’m not sure I’ll ever be satisfied with the ending of any conflict, Naegi in DR3 could think fast. He sets up traps for Munakata and made it impossible for him to escape while the wristband was on. I thought that part was clever (even if the following conversation didn’t convince me much)

What I dislike about them

Ehhh, after DR3, my opinion of him lowered. A lot. He ended DR3 played off as the hero when he really, really didn’t do much. And honestly, he couldn’t. The writers wrote that he couldn’t run. That’s a good idea on paper, maybe, but not in execution. Especially considering how he is the protagonist. He ends up relying a lot on Asahina to save him from situations, and even when he does come across situations where he is supposed to be good at, talking to people, it comes off a lot less realistic… kind of forced. I’m wondering if that is a fault on the animation studio’s end, or whoever wrote the final script. Not to mention, when it comes to the very end, Togami giveshima whole squad to get to Mitarai, endangering them all… for Makoto to leave it to Hinata and company in the end lol. And then he gets to be the figurehead of Future Foundation for supposedly defeating the Remnants of Despair… yeah, that doesn’t sit well with me at all XD

Favorite moment:

It’s hard to choose! I think, though, I was most hyped when he showed up as a silhouette in the Investigation part of SDR2 Chapter 6? Him avoiding his execution was really cool, too, though!!! Oh yeah, and my Hi/Naegi heart fangirls over that one scene where they nod at each other XD

Least favorite moment

Mostly DR3 moments, lol. Especially the last episode! Like I said, Naegi was made to be the hero after failing to get there to Mitarai. He just hardly does that much in the grand scheme of things. In DR1, even if he leaned a little heavy on Kirigiri, it is him who was targeted a lot by the mastermind, and him who broke everyone’s despair away. In DR3, he kind of does it with Munakata, and then no one else. Just the way the game was designed made it so that he hardly knew most of the victims, and he was split away from even Kirigiri, who really did most of the work for him.

As for a non-DR3 moment… the bathhouse scene lol. The fan-service scene is really out of character. My first time with DR1 was with the anime, so such a scene was skipped, thankfully.

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

I want to see how he gathered up the remnants, and all the things he had to do while watching DR2′s killing game. I’m really curious about how he confronted Kamukura specifically, and why it is he had no clue this Hajime Hinata wasn’t Izuru Kamukura. I mean, sure, Remnants of Despair may have changed themselves drastically, but Hajime was even more so, and it was not necessarily changes due to Despair. Also, meet up with Komaru please???? Interactions with Hinata???? His parents were just forgotten????

An interesting AU for this character

I’m so bad at this because all I’ll ever come up with is a fantasy AU XD He’d be the gardener or something that somehow is able to save the princess from a raid by an enemy kingdom and they somehow gather up morale and he ends up leading the rebellion and saves the day without having ever lifted his sword. Something like that XD

A crossover

…. The only thing besides Danganronpa that I care about is Kingdom Hearts ^^;;; He’d be Ventus in my crossover, rather than Sora!

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

I like Nae///giri and Hin//aegi both!!! Nae///giri is something that develops rather well in DR1, and Hin///aegi is just such a warming and soft ship to me! Like, I just feel like they’d complement each other pretty well? They have a ton in common, and could teach each other different things.

Other ships?

Nae///zono! It’s a ship that I don’t talk a lot about, but I really liked his relationship with Maizono a lot. I truly miss her :( I really want to know what their relationship was like in the pre-DR1 year that they were in the same class together. 

BROTP

Pretty much all of the survivors of DR1, and Sayaka, and of course his sister! Also Hinata!!! I feel like they could really help each other!

NOTP

Well, I don’t really have one that really irks me, honestly? I’m not the most comfortable with Kom///aegi and Nae///gami all the time, though. Kom////aegi tends to be weirdly balanced, where Komaeda overpraises Naegi, but may till manipulate him and have some kind of power that way. It’s not my favorite interaction. As for Nae///gami, It’s also got that imbalance issue. In either case, if you portray it in a way that they are or become equals (without any messed up stuff happening mind you) then I’m really okay with them.

An assortment of headcanons!

Makoto does eventually find his parents, however even though they are physically unharmed, they are catatonic. They don’t respond to much of anything anymore, and it’s a mystery how they were able to live by the time Future Foundation got to them

Makoto holds grudges for very few people. They are not always bad people, but while outwardly he tries to be optimistic, inside, he’s wishing he was anywhere but near those people, or talking about those people.

Makoto and Sayaka, during their year in Hope’s Peak, grew very close, but never brought up dating each other. They were attracted to each other before they knew each other, and while they still are romantically attracted by the end of the year, it’s different, a little more sure, now that they do know each other. The apocalypse comes, and it never feels like a good time to brig it up anyways.

Makoto doesn’t realise he is the target of romantic attraction for quite a few people. Within the school year, he takes it as people just being naturally shy or standoffish. After the killing game, he assumes it is because of his supposed title of Ultimate Hope that he never actually called himself. (The exception to this is Kirigiri... he’s gotten to know her well enough to get that they like each other).

Hajime Hinata

What I like about them

Hinata was, and remains, DR’s best protagonist. He has development throughout DR, and I was really rooting with him slowly. He’s really funny in how blunt he is, and that sarcastic nature of his is great. But, probably most importantly to me, is that he is ever so relatable. He’s actually really sweet and caring, and he’s not one to resort to violence first. If there is something he thinks he can do for a friend, he’ll try to do it. And he’s imperfect.... He doesn’t have any talent whatsoever, he’s insecure about himself, he pushes people away and tries to run away and find easier solutions. Those are good things. It makes him feel more real.

What I dislike about them

Hinata’s a really good character... but well, the ending of DR2, I feel like he could have snapped out on his own. Nanami being there... I would like to believe that the one that was talking to him in that mindscape was not the real Nanami, not even really the AI Nanami. She’s a figment of his imagination that represents the gentle side of courage. Still, I wish that it wasn’t her exactly, or it was more clear that this was Hinata convincing himself that he doesn’t need to run away from hard choices.

I also gotta say that while I am entertained by post-canon Hinata’s potential... he lacks a lot of what I liked in Hinata in the first place. He’s now too perfect, even more so than Izuru who’s fault is the inability to empathize. I guess if he was shown to struggle at least a bit between feeling and not, not always being able to consciously use a talent, but in other situation it happens consciously, or really showing any kind of repercussion than being so clearly rewarded for having taken part in the Hope Cultivation Plan instead of chosing to be himself, I’d feel more satisfied. I also just am not a fan of how much they center Nanami in the end of DR3. At DR2′s ending, it was clearer to me that his decision was also for the sake of everyone else. Now that they are all awake, it’s almost like it’s all for her sake now. Like, how Mitarai should join them because it is what Nanami would have wanted... that’s just weird.

Favourite moment

I complained about Nanami’s part in the very end of SDR2, but honestly, besides her, I genuinely loved to see Hinata and his transformation! I don’t mean just in his “Awakened” form, but more like how broken he had been by the knowledge that he was the one who destroyed  himself, in just about the worst ways possible, and the consequences of which had driven the world mad and eventually came to destroy the lives of people he had been calling friends, and then how he’d come to accept that, yes, this was his responsibility, no one else’s, and he was going to live with it, move forward, and through as much sheer willpower as possible, survive as himself. Hinata’s truly grown a lot from how he had been in the beginning.

Least favourite moment

I’ve already discussed this kind of, but that confrontation with Mitarai at the end was so weak. What a let down it had been. Like, yeah, DR3 was a mess for a long while before, but you could at least somewhat enjoy it were it not for such a weak ending. Hinata saves the day by offering Mitarai to become a figitive alongside other people who have caused the end of the world, and then after saving the world from the lamest threat ever, he takes the blame for the event and lets Naegi be the hero he never was (in this situation at least... seriously SC, stop treating Naegi as the hero when you didn’t even let him do much in this part of the series)

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

Oh, like I’ve said before, that struggle of acceptance of being Izuru kamukura at the same time as being Hinata! Like honestly, he shouldn’t be completely rewarded for choosing talent over everything else- that goes against what his story tells. If talent is not the most important thing about Hinata, then why is it the way he solves everything in the end, pretty much?

We also really needed some more background on Hinata: There are a lot of speculations that Hinata’s parents may be abusive or Neglectful for letting Hinata take a part in the HCP. Is that really how it had been? And how did he come across HPA? What was it like growing up talentless in a world that idolizes talent? Just some basic backstory of things that pushed him into the belief that Talent meant more than his own sense of Self.

And we get a hint of it, but what really happened while Hinata was in the HCP? Like, what was he doing for the months between Episode 3 and him going into the pod?

And on an aside, I want to know what he did to wake the others up? I am 99% certain that Komaeda’s case was completely unique... Komaeda always makes things harder, and AI Kamukura really had to dig deep and go to extremes to wake Komaeda up. I think that AI Kamukura would have had to do less drastic things to wake the others up. How did Hinata choose the design for AI Kamukura anyways? Was this something he worked together on with Alter Ego?

An interesting AU for this character

I suppose one AU I’m curious about is what would happen if he did not lose his memories and emotions in the HCP? Like, he’d find it hard to emote, but at the same time, he still felt empathy, if that makes sense? I wonder if Junko would still be able to use him, if e’d actually end up joining class 77, or whatever else could change.

A crossover

Kingdom Hearts Just kidding XD So actually, I read a fic that I really loved a lot, and it was a TWEWY crossover! Hinata took place of Neku, Komaeda took place of Joshua, Nanami took place of Shiki, and the Kuzuryuus took place of Beat and Rhyme. It was awesome!

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

I’m a really die-hard Koma//Hina///Nami shipper! I mean, for me, it’s more like HinaKomaNami (so centered around Komaeda instead). I feel like I talk way too much about how great I think it is, though, lol. I’ll try to make this shorter? I feel like all of them can provide support to each other in different ways! I like the idea that they still have conflict among themselves, but work together to come to a certain point of understanding. I guess I’ve always liked poly ships more, though. I’m not completely sure why that is, lol.

Other ships?

Koma///Hina will always be my favorite Hinata ship. There is so much complexity to their relationship because of how they met, and because Hinata did like Komaeda, at the very least in a platonic manner. Hinata wanted to trust Komaeda as a friend. The relationship they had in the beginning made it that much harder for Hinata to accept the Komaeda post CH1′s trial... and I do believe that Komaeda’s FTEs could be taken as canon. They were written in such a way that they make sense to happen in canon. And people are always calling it abusive or unhealthy when honestly, it’s not. Komaeda had a reason to act as he did. Was it right? No, but the clues are there that he has difficulty understanding things the way other people do, and his traumatic experiences simply reinforced such thinking.

Hin////aegi and Hinat///sumi are tied for the second Hinata pairings I care a lot about. Hin////aegi, as I’ve said before, just makes me feel really warm inside... it’s a comfort ship. Hin////atsumi I really love a lot because of just how similar him and Natsumi are! Though Hinata keeps to himself much more than Natsumi and doesn’t try to publically antagonize people, Natsumi and him both sare that admiration for people with talent, and instead of accepting themselves as talentless, try their best to be more. They see the system they are in and accept it, but decide they wanted to be on the better side of it. inata in DR3 was only ever allowed to act like how he did in DR2 with Natsumi... he saw her as equal. All of the other students who had given up the desperation to be better, he really did picture them as not worth his time for not understanding how he felt. He was less upfront about it than Natsumi, who openly admits her disdain for those who blindly follow the rules of the Status Quo. Like, these two bring out the truth in each other... and I just simply loved their interactions in Episode 3. Really, it was because of Natsumi and her relationship with Hinata that DR3 had at least one enjoyable episode that I can call my favorite.

BROTP

Hinataxeveryone he knows, pretty much XD Hinata is just such a sweet and loving guy, and he gets along well with most people given time. I love his interactions with his classmates because he can at least be blunt about how weird they are while still entertaining what they do or say. To pick a few that I’d list high, him, Nanami, and Komaeda are still my favorite OT3. Nanami is like his quite cheerleader and Komaeda is the one who pushes him out of his comfort zone a lot. I also really loved his interactions with Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi- They make such a funny trio! All the survivors do, really (but Akane and Sonia don’t get to talk to him quite as much, I think?) Also, I obviously BrOTP him with Naegi and Natsumi! Above reasons for shipping them romantically apply to frienship as well. And for not-survivors, Ibuki and the Ultimate Imposter!!!

NOTP

I’ve sid it previously when talking about kamu///Koma, but I’m also not fond of Hina///Nami. At the very least, I can’t ship these two toggether without Komaeda. Nanami is his courage, but also just as much his escape. DR3 really proved that- she could tell him all about how useless talent really was, and he’d hold on to it and repeat after her simply wishing it was true, but in his mind, he still staunchly rejects what she says because everything else in the world is telling him otherwise. AI Nanami, meanwhile, is better, as in she at least has flaws, but they aren’t obvious to him. She’s pretty much always nice or teasing to him. And then, of course, the ending where she turns up again.... why was she allowed to be his escape? A healthy relationship does not mean constant positive reinforcement... it means actually listening to the problems. You can’t fix every problem by saying that it will get better.

Other ships: I’m not really fond of Hina///miki, but it’s not like I would shirk from it if I saw it. Mikan acts innocent and sweet, but she is willing to hurt  people to et them t stay with her, and willing to hurt herself for the attention. Hinata in her FTEs and island Mode kind of just... accepts it all. Teruteru and Hinata... no thanks, either. Teruteru literally drugs Hinata, even if it was maybe some kind of joke. He was kind of condescending as well in their interactions, so it was just not my cup of tea.

An assortment of headcanons!

Hinata has trouble sleeping sometimes because the memories he has as Izuru, and as the Hajime before the project, and as the Hajime Hinata during the simulation all feel as different as they do as himself. His memories often mix together into uncomfortable messes. He begins logging them to sort himself out sometimes.

Hinata actually does enjoy riding in boas: there are occasional patter changes that aren’t so easily calculated in his head, and especially so i he closes hi seyes. I f he is feeling particularly apathetic and bored, he’ll lock himself in his cabin and try to lose himself to it until he’s able to work with everyone again.

He doesn’t actually like taking lead of the class. He only takes over when needed to show face that he is the leader of Ultimate Despair, or in desperate situations. Otherwise, he tries to make things as equal as possible, splitting up the group in teams in charge of different things (like gathering info on other remnants that linger the world, coming up with confrontations plans, making technology to keep the group safe and capture assailants, finding a way to rehabilize, or in worse-case scenarios, put down remnants.

The change in eye color is not actually real. The red eyes of kamukura and the black hair are merely visuals to us, the player, that something about Hajime is different. Red eyes are a sign of power, black for despair, white for hope. That beautiful heterochromia he has in Hope Arc is more of a sign that he has accepted his past as Ultimate Despair, but holds himself with confidence and will make decisions based on what he, as Hajime Hinata, deems is right.

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: Self-Recording

Author: @magioftheseas

For: @izuvi

Rating/Warnings: T+; it gets really suggestive but I don’t think the sexual content is graphic enough to get an M rating. Sex is mentioned though. There’s some mental instability (hallucinations and dissociation), emotional baggage, and mentions of trauma. So the typical stuff in my case lol.

Prompt: hinata/servant exploration on this dynamic as they meet in an AU

Author’s notes: The fic’s a lot softer than I thought it’d be. And a lot longer, but that’s unsurprising. Unfortunately I only managed to finish this one fic, but all the same, I hope you like it!!

It was bright. Too bright.

“…gi…”

It almost hurt. His ears felt like they were ringing, and his eyes screwed even tighter shut before, slowly but surely, they opened as he picked up on someone calling his name.

“…to… Nagito…!”

Immediately, his eyes went wide. It took a minute for his vision to focus and, slowly but surely, he took in the visage of a young man looming over him, gazing upon him with concerned, mismatched eyes.

“…do I…”

“Nagito…?”

“…know you?”

Hazel and red both went wide for a moment, as his own brow furrowed in confusion.

“That name…where did you hear it? You’re…vaguely familiar but surely I would have recognized you if you were part of…” A pause. A blink. “Wait… Kamukura-kun?”

Kamukura flinched.

“You’re Kamukura-kun, right?” he asked, pushing himself up, only for him to groan as his head spun from the sudden action. Despite himself, almost as if on instinct, Kamukura steadied him with a low murmur to just take it easy. “Urgh… Kamukura-kun… Why…?”

Why are you here? Why am I? What happened? Why does everything…hurt?

Ah. He was covered in bandages. He must’ve gotten caught up in something. That would explain some things. Only some.

“Nagito…” Kamukura started, carefully and almost hesitantly. Kamukura hesitant? “What is the last thing you recall?”

Ah. Suddenly the hesitance was gone in favor of clipped, clinical detachment. That was more like it. Perhaps he had been imagining everything from before. It would not be the first time he hallucinated terribly.

“Um… Dunno…” He almost laughed, especially with this strange troubling undercurrent of dread. “I, but, right… I was babysitting. I’ve become their servant, Kamukura-kun, isn’t that funny? Unsurprisingly, they’re quite unruly and troubling. I barely escaped death, yet again, by the skin of my nose!”

“Servant,” Kamukura repeated flatly. He nodded.

“Mm, so, you can just call me that now. I ah, might as well get more into the role.”

“…No.”

The answer was immediate. Servant frowned, and then turned to him, and, to his surprise, Kamukura looked fatigued and haggard as he shook his head.

“No…” He groaned. “You’re Nagito, not some servant.”

What…exactly…is this?

“Nagito,” he went on in exasperation. This wasn’t Kamukura. This couldn’t be Kamukura.

And yet.

“…We’ve uh, got a lot to talk about. This is…definitely going to be overwhelming.”

“Kamukura-kun…?”

“Let’s uh, start with that,” Kamukura muttered, tiredly rolling his eyes. “I’m… Well, I’m…”

“Who are you?” Servant asked, blank and flat in tone. “You’re not Kamukura-kun.”

“…Well.” Kamukura shrugged almost helplessly. “Uh. Yes and no…?”

Servant’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Look, it’s a long story,” Not-Kamukura said, almost pitifully. “It’ll take a while.”

“I’m a patient person,” Servant answered coldly. “And I have quite a bit of time. So why don’t we start…?”

It occurred to him, then, that he had been opening and closing a hand that shouldn’t be there. He looked down, and sure enough, where her hand used to be has been replaced with a black and white mechanical prosthetic. He blinked once. He opened it. He closed it.

“…Huh.”

“Like I said,” Not-Kamukura laughed mirthlessly. “There’s a lot to go through.”

And all the same, Servant gestured for him to go on.

“Well, then you better get started.”

–

While washing his wounds and reapplying bandages, Not-Kamukura spoke of all sorts of things. A magical rabbit, a series of murders and class trials like there had been with the 78th class, the survivors of the 78th class’s involvement, her return and second downfall…

“This all sounds very…fake, Not-Kamukura-kun.”

“Well the whole thing was a simulation, so…”

“You know what I mean, Not-Kamukura-kun.”

Not-Kamukura rolled his eyes, pinning the last of the bandages on his leg in place.

“I do know. Nagito. Will you stop calling me that? I told you, I am Kamukura Izuru, I just—happen to be someone else, too.”

“Who else?” he asked brightly. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”

Not-Kamukura growled at him.

“Hinata. Hajime. Hinata Hajime.”

Why are you putting emphasis on the given name…?

“Hinata-kun. My apologies. That name’s so unremarkable that it’s difficult to remember.”

Hinata looked utterly unimpressed, but moved to bandage his other leg. In a great show of mercy, he was just as gentle as before. Servant’s smile faded into an unreadable not-quite-frown.

“Hinata-kun…was the name of the reserve course student who volunteered in the Kamukura Project. I suppose the simulation dragged you out? I would’ve thought the talentless nobody reserve would’ve been disposed of during the procedure.” Hinata flinched. He went on. “Are you really Hinata Hajime, though? Or are you no one in particular? The Kamukura Project removed Hinata Hajime. This Neo World Program removed Kamukura Izuru. That leaves you, doesn’t it? So who, exactly, are you?”

“Hinata Hajime…and Kamukura Izuru.” His tone was blank, and both hazel and crimson eyes seemed frightfully vacant. “I am both, but I am also neither.”

Servant hummed thoughtfully.

“Goodness. What a dreadfully confusing existence that must be.”

“Yeah, well.” He laughed humorlessly. “You have no idea.”

Servant smiled as before, but this time, his gaze was not being met as the other re-focused on replacing his bandages. Ah, that’s right, the bandages.

“The injuries I sustained seem to be rather serious,” he said cheerfully. “Well, they must be quite serious…considering how far back they knocked my memory, haha. Do you think the damage is permanent? Am I going to be like this forever? How despairing! But maybe it’ll be a good thing, lead to a far greater, brighter hope—!”

“Aside from the loss of memory, nothing seems amiss with your head,” the other stated coldly and matter-of-factly. Just like Kamukura. Servant shut his mouth and listened attentively as he went on. “From what I can tell, it should be temporary. So don’t worry, Nagito, you will be back to normal soon.”

Normal? For someone like me? Impossible.

“Haha. Hahaha. Not-Kamukura-kun, that’s such a funny joke.”

“Urgh.” He groaned. “Again with that? Just… Just call me Hinata. What does it matter anyway?”

“Not-Hinata-kun?” Servant suggested, to which the other immediately scowled at him. Servant’s smile was wide and vapid as he corrected himself. “Hinata-kun. Fine. As you said, it really doesn’t matter.”

Hinata Hajime is a nobody anyway. A foolish nobody who threw himself away to become the supposed SHSL Hope. Hope. Ridiculous. As if that project would result in anything but abject failure.

“A question, Hinata-kun,” he said, offering his non-mechanical arm to be bandaged up as well. “What is our relationship?”

Hinata stiffened at that, face going red as Servant’s smile widened.

“Was I your lover, perhaps, Hinata-kun?”

That blush darkened, and yet Hinata bristled. “S-So what if you were?”

“Ooh, how interesting!” he exclaimed in genuine awe. “A real surprise! What a shocking twist! I never would have guessed!”

“You’re…playing this up way too much…” Hinata muttered, still flustered and very much unamused. “It’s not…that surprising…considering I use your given name…”

“Ohhh, that’s true.”

Hinata rolled his eyes again.

“How serious are you even being right now, Nagito?” he asked, wrapping up his arm.

“At least semi!” Servant chirped and then, brighter, he added, “It hurts all over, Hinata-kun!”

Hinata immediately pulled back with a flinch and a hiss. Servant could only laugh, even as the sound was wheezy and strained. Hinata glared, but he still trembled a little before bowing his head, letting it hang rather…miserably.

“I’m sorry, Nagito.”

Servant’s smile dropped. He blinked a few times.

“…I forgive you, I think, Hinata-kun.”

Ah, what…?

–

Hinata had explained what had gotten him into this banged up state too, of course. It had indeed sounded quite gruesome, and walking could evoke some screeching agony, but…really, it was still miraculous he was in one piece for the most part. That was likely Hinata’s doing, really. Hinata surely carried him all the way here and treated him.

Of course he did. He was Hinata’s lover after all.

More or less.

(Kamukura had carried him to safety before, too. But only because he had asked really, really nicely.)

He and Hinata were lovers.

He wondered if that meant they slept together. Surely they had. Surely.

(Well, he had slept with Kamukura before, of course. But only as a show of gratitude. Deeply appreciative gratitude.)

“…sorry…” Hinata was saying quietly, dropping several old magazines on his lap. Some of them had quite the distinct stench. “I know it gets boring having to lay around as you recover, but…this was the best I could do to find entertainment.”

“…Thank you,” Servant replied with a polite nod. Some of the magazines had been so damaged that they’d be worthless as reading material, but he supposed that was what pictures were for. “Well, it’s not like you can turn on the television or anything. Since, I assume, all channels are down.”

“That and the electricity required isn’t worth rigging up,” Hinata huffed. “Besides, Nagito, you’re not much of a television watcher.”

“Mm, that’s true…” Humming, he gestured with his whirling metallic hand. “Hinata-kun, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata leaned in, confused, and subsequently reddened when Servant kissed his cheek.

“Thank you!” he exclaimed much more brightly.

Hinata pulled back, looking almost taken aback—why? They were lovers, after all—before giving a small, strained smile in response.

“You’re welcome, Nagito.”

–

There are still a lot of questions to ask. So many that he doesn’t really feel like asking them at all. So he doesn’t.

But there are times he stirs as he sleeps, feeling the warm grip of Hinata’s hand around his own and those questions bubble to his lips anyway. Still, he doesn’t ask. He just sighs, squeezes Hinata’s hand in return, and tries to get back to sleep.

He tries. Sometimes. He just can’t sleep at all, but Hinata holds his hand all the same.

Hinata…truth be told, Servant’s not sure when Hinata sleeps, given how in and out he is in Ser—Nagito’s temporary room. Hinata had already pulled up a chair by his bedside, but sometimes, Hinata kneels by the bedside instead, burying his face in folded arms. Tonight, it’s the latter.

Neither the chair nor this position look remotely comfortable.

The state of Hinata’s back is looking considerably, despairingly worrying.

He slips his hand out of Hinata’s grip, and unsurprisingly, said grip loosens enough so that he can do so. Considerate even in troubled sleep, this Hinata.

Servant huffed softly, gaze flickering to the dark, starless sky beyond the window before staring back down at the top of Hinata’s spiky, unresponsive head.

There’s a swell in his chest. Whether it’s affection or aggravation is…frankly, irrelevant and unimportant compared to the matter at hand.

With gritted teeth, he scoots back and reached out to pull Hinata into the bed. It’s difficult, it’s trying, it’s painful, and Hinata’s leg probably knocks against something, but Hinata, deep sleeper he is, didn’t stir. Really, if he wasn’t familiar with this by now, he would’ve thought Hinata comatose.

Rearranging Hinata into a more comfortable sleeping position is an unsurprising pain, but all the same, he manages. All the same, he snuggles up against the warmth the other provided.

Really, this was the most comfortable he’s been in a while. Only comparable, unsurprisingly, when he had been allowed to snuggle up against Kamukura. Hinata was just as warm. He was warm. So warm.

Servant let out a pleased sigh.

Warm…

Hinata was gone again by the time he woke up, but…sometimes, when he’d wake up in the middle of the night, Hinata would once again be curled around him, now holding him close.

It really was…nice.

Very nice.

He can imagine her sneering at this perfectly.

–

“There’s nothing wrong with that, right? After all, we’re lovers!”

Hinata-kun’s so warm, but I can’t get a reading on him at all sometimes. Abnormally normal, as expected of the average anomaly.

“Oh, of course, I know I’m not really his lover just as he’s not really mine. I’m just a servant, after all.”

Hey, did I kill her? Did I did I did I did I did I?

“But if Hinata-kun doesn’t mind, then I really don’t see a problem. The warmth of someone else, the tenderness that can be shown and shared… Even if they’re ultimately useless in the grand scheme of things, they’re still quite nice to feel, so… So…”

So… So don’t…!

“So don’t! Make that face! You should understand me best of all!”

Because…

“A-After all…!”

B-Because…!

Komaeda Nagito still wore such a scowl.

–

“…Nagito, do you…?”

“No,” he answered quickly and almost flippantly. He still flinched after stumbling, but Hinata held him steady. “Sorry, Hinata-kun.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Hinata muttered in a not-fine tone, but tightened his grip on Servant’s wrist, with Servant’s arm wrapped around his shoulders to use him as a makeshift clutch. “Hopefully, once we get back to the island…we can use the medical equipment there…and Tsumiki will be there to help…”

Tsumiki-san…?

He must have made a face, because Hinata hurriedly explained.

“O-Or not! Right, you, uh, probably have some really bad memories of Tsumiki, right?”

Really bad was a bit of an understatement.

“I swear, no one’s going to hurt you, least of all her… She’s…gotten better. Everyone’s been doing a lot better.” Hinata swallowed. “They’ll be nice… I’ll make sure of it…”

“Oh, a declaration of protection,” Servant said, almost thoughtfully. “That’s essentially a love confession. You really are so gallant, Hinata-kun.”

And, of course, Hinata blushed.

“I-I already told you…” he grumbled. And then, he perked up. “Hey, Nagito… Are you sure you’re alright?”

Servant blinks once, twice. His legs still hurt.

“I feel sore.”

“Mentally, emotionally,” Hinata spoke almost blankly. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

…Ah. Right.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” is the response he almost gives, vapid laugh and all, but he knows that Hinata would have an answer to why he wouldn’t be.

And, truth be told, it was odd, all things considered. For days and weeks, he’s just been drifting through in a state that was neither hope nor despair. Even when Hinata had been recounting everything that had happened, even when Hinata had described meeting her in the simulation, he felt…detachment. Distance. Almost as if someone had just read him a dryly written story.

Unsurprisingly, even his most recent memories felt far away.

“By all accounts,” Hinata went on, and those mismatched eyes are boring into him, red more than hazel. A shiver went up his spine. “You should be in despair, Nagito. But the way you’re acting is…stable.”

That’s the word you’re going to use?

“You say that like a breakdown is imminent,” Servant said, brightly smiling up at him. “Is that why you’ve been keeping so close?”

“I’m not just your doctor and you know it,” Hinata replied, wavering. Just like that, the flare of excitement fizzled. “We’re…close.”

“Because we’re lovers,” Servant said, nodding. Hinata hesitated, but nods in return.

“…you’re alright with that, right?”

It’s funny how uncertain Hinata seemed to be. As if they haven’t spent several nights cuddling. Still, Servant just nodded again, and said nothing about how more than a few times he considered shoving Hinata off the roof.

Not to kill or hurt him, of course. But just to see how he’d react, if he’d snap. Really, it’d almost be like doing him a favor.

Something like that.

–

The world outside is considerably different from Towa City. The sky is brighter, bluer, and even the screeching from this Monokuma bot was much more pleasant to listen to compared to before. Of course, this Monokuma bot, with how easy it is to kick down with his foot, really isn’t much of a threat with how Hinata reprogrammed it.

“Nagito!” Hinata called to him, hands deep in the wires of another Monokuma. “Quit bullying it!”

Servant kicked it down again, just to hear that exclamation of, “Nyahaw!”

It squirmed a bit, small stubby legs flailing before it managed to push itself back up. Almost immediately, Servant kicked it down again.

“Nyoho!”

“Nagito!”

“It’s therapeutic, Hinata-kun!” he called back brightly. The Monokuma pushed itself back up, tottering away almost hurriedly. Servant caught up with it in a few quick strides. “You have to admit…”

His foot slams into its back, knocking it back down. “Upow!”

“It’s nice,” he said, brushing his hair back. “Being able to terrorize these despicable creatures.”

“It is,” Hinata did agree even as he rolled his eyes and sounded awfully unimpressed about it. “But, look, Nagito, if you damage it, who’s going to have to fix that? Me.”

“Shouldn’t the former SHSL Mechanic be handling something like this?” Servant asked, whirling around on his heel. Even from this distance, he could tell that Hinata stiffened.

“Souda…no…” He teared out some wiring with seemingly more force than necessary. The words are stilted and uncomfortable. “Unfortunately, no. Souda can’t…stand these things.”

It was in the delivery that makes the bothersome words much heavier and troubling. Servant blinked once, tilted his head, and kept his tone chipper and upbeat.

“Really?” There was a disbelieving and almost gleeful edge. Hinata flinched. “Even though this kind of thing is his talent?”

“It can’t be helped,” Hinata quietly snapped at him. Quietly. “So, I…”

“It just seems a bit audacious,” he said lightly. “If not annoying.”

Hinata sighed loudly. Servant hears the Monokuma scuttling off. He could still catch it if he gave chase, but now he was far too bored with the idea, and so his focused gaze on the other—his lover—is retained.

“It can’t be helped,” Hinata repeated irritably and a little louder than before. “And it’s not like I mind.”

“Hinata-kun’s so generous!” Servant exclaimed, gushing and fawning. “Of course I really should have known! You tolerate someone like me after all! Such patience! I’m smitten! I love you, Hinata-kun!”

Hinata swallowed, and then began to fiddle more with the wires as Servant skipped up to him. Despite everything, Hinata relaxed as Servant wrapped his arms around him. Hinata sighed as before, but much softer now.

“Love you too, Nagito.”

Ah, huh?

Servant blinked once, smile now blank. And after a while, he simply giggled.

Ah, seriously, what is this?

–

Kamukura wasn’t like the others. He wasn’t like them; there wasn’t anyone quite like him. Something normal twisted and distorted into abnormality, the supposedly clear line between natural and artificial has been blurred, and where could he be except caught between attraction and repulsion, between love and hatred for such an indescribable being?

Either way his feelings were tragically unrequited, weren’t they? Wasn’t that awful? Wasn’t that despairing?

Kamukura didn’t care for him at all. Which was expectable and sensible, of course, for someone so downright worthless.

Worthless, worthless, I’m so very, very worthless!

“Careful, Nagito,” Hinata said gently. He carefully helped him step over rubble, squeezing his hand and extending out his arm for when he stumbles and has to latch onto something lest he fall.

Hinata is warm, Hinata sighs, and whenever he hears something rustle, that’s his immediate cue to step in front of Servant as though to act as a shield.

Worthless, worthless…

“If something bad happens to me, good luck will make up for it,” he reminded Hinata cheerfully. Hinata gives him an unimpressed look.

“Money’s not going to help in this dead economy,” he replied. Servant laughed.

“Of course not, but good luck can come in other forms.” It was obvious to point out. He was almost annoyed, but the way Hinata rolls his eyes, the way Hinata squeezes his hand—it’s not so bad. Not at all.

“Regardless,” Hinata said without missing a beat, “I have no intention of letting anything happen to you, Nagito.”

“Ehehe, so gallant…”

You really are so protective, aren’t you?

Keep that up and I might actually feel precious.

–

“Please…”

More.

A lover’s touch really is such a gentle, intimate thing. It’s something to be cherished and revered, the way a lover’s body should be. That was the case here, too, of course, as Kamukura kissed him softly. His hands were a gentle cage, cupping his cheeks, stroking the curves and along his jawline. Kamukura’s body very gently crushes his own as they’re pressed up together like this.

He was holding Kamukura close, of course. He was kissing Kamukura back, of course. Desperately, damply, with little slick, wet smacking sounds between their lips and tongues. He sighed as Kamukura kissed down his neck, raising his arms obediently as Kamukura pulled off his shirt.

I want more.

In the darkness, beauty cannot be seen and would cease to exist if not for the presence of touch, of contact, of this.

“…Kamukura-kun… I… Please…” There was an uncertain whine to the words. Kamukura bit his neck, immediately making him flinch and cry out.

Pushing boundaries—more and more until the line is crossed—that’s the kind of despicable creature I am.

If he looked over, in the darkness, he would see the glow of Komaeda Nagito, staring down at him unreadably. He stiffened, just a little, as Komaeda Nagito tilted his head, and Kamukura held him steady. All the same, Kamukura guided his hips, and all the same, Komaeda Nagito looked at him.

Kamukura didn’t even get the chance to fuck him before Servant wakes with a jolt in a trembling cold sweat. And that’s all it was.

That’s all this was.

I…really am so… He trembled, taking up handfuls of long, stringy strands. Disgusting.

Hinata slept so innocently beside him that it’s so much worse.

–

“Well, of course I am precious to Hinata-kun. As his lover. As Komaeda Nagito.”

That’s only to be expected, but…

“…of course I know that at the same time, I’m not really precious to Hinata-kun because that person isn’t me.”

No, no, no.

“I really am worthless, aren’t I? So pathetic! What kind of wretched creature takes advantage of a lover’s protectiveness?”

It’s the worst, worst, worst! I’m really so worthless, worthless, worthless!

“Hahaha! Haha! Stop looking at me like that!”

I know, I know, I know!

“Please just stop!”

–

“We’re about finished, here,” Hinata was saying, wiping off his hands. Servant nodded, and tripped the Monokuma tottering past. Hinata gave him a look of sharp disapproval but rolled his eyes and went on. “Tomorrow, we’re heading back to Jabberwock, Nagito.”

Jabberwock. He nodded again. The Monokuma pushes itself up and quickly scampers away.

“Do the others know?” Servant asked cheerfully.

Hinata stiffened for a moment. But he nodded.

“Of course they do,” he said. “They’re your friends, so they care about whether or not you’re doing alright.”

Friends. Huh.

“They didn’t care at all in the past,” Servant said. “They couldn’t be bothered to care at all. They weren’t my friends. They didn’t even consider me their peer, or a person really. Did you know that I’m not present in most of the class photos? Of course, that’s to be expected, why would I be allowed that kind of privilege but, still—pretty despairing, don’t you think?”

Hinata looked stricken, and then, Hinata shook his head.

“That’s not the case anymore,” he replied with a placating smile. “Koizumi’s taken tons of pictures that you’re in. Kuzuryuu and Souda both asked about you. Nidai asked about your bowels…? Owari asked if you were eating well. They care about you, it’s not like back…then…”

“Oh, lucky me,” Servant laughed vapidly. “That kind of change sounds really unbelievable, almost miraculous, but I guess you really can do anything, Hinata-kun.”

“…What…?” Hinata blinked twice, but… Servant saw that he understood what he meant, and he shook his head quickly soon after. “I… No. No, I have nothing to do with…”

“You don’t? I mean, you’d definitely have a problem with it. The one you love, being treated as less than nothing by all your friends. You must’ve gotten onto their cases more than a few times.” His smile was blank. “Because, look, Hinata-kun, from what I can tell, that time in the simulation didn’t do my relationships with any of them any favors. Honestly, I’m surprised you can even stand me with the things I’ve apparently done, much less love me in spite of it.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Hinata was saying the words like someone else put them in his mouth. “That was because of her…”

“Hinata-kun,” he said. “Even if you believed that, it’d be difficult to treat someone like me normally.”

Hinata flinched.

Ah.

“From what you told me,” he went on sweetly. “They seem to rely on you quite a bit. You must be quite the popular fellow. It’s no surprise, but…all the same, they must feel really indebted to you, too.”

Hinata’s mismatched eyes narrowed. Both hazel and crimson were so vibrant it sent shivers down his spine and he just couldn’t stop talking.

“You not only saved their lives, but you take on so many of their duties. So, really, compared to everything you did, what’s everything I’ve done? Being nice to the basket case must be really easy now, don’t you think?”

“…Don’t say that,” Hinata said, sharply, voice full of warning. “It’s not…”

“After all, regardless of how terrible someone was, if you were just as terrible if not more so, how hard can it be to treat them normally? Especially when you owe so much to the person who loves them?”

“No, you’re wrong…”

“Am I?” Servant asked just as sharply. “So, none of what I said is true?”

“They care about you,” Hinata repeated, firm and stern. “It’s not like back then.”

“Because they like me?” Servant asked, huffing out a laugh. “As a person?”

“Yes.” Hinata nodded, and he smiled right back, sardonically and irritably. “Nagito, do you seriously think we haven’t had this conversation before?”

Servant stared at him, long and hard, and then he shook his head, sighing.

“…So, what conclusion did we come to, in that case?”

“You already know the answer to that,” Hinata said, softer now. “And if you don’t, well… You can figure it out, Nagito. You’re…really smart.”

You say that at a moment when I feel like an idiot. But…

The way Hinata was looking at him—so gently and mournfully and yet…achingly resigned. As though this whole matter really did hold a painful familiarity to him.

“…I suppose.”

Hinata’s eyes soften even more, and he patted his hair affectionately. Servant’s head ducked under his hand, but said nothing more on the matter. Hinata must be thankful for that.

“Come on,” he said warmly, an arm wrapping around his shoulders to keep him both warm and steady. The sky was darkening from a beautiful violet. Soon, the sun would set and it’d be yet another opportunity to see the stars he had missed for so long. “Let’s head back and crash for the day.”

“…Okay.” He leaned in, and let Hinata lead him towards their temporary residing. He can’t help but think that he might miss that place, were he capable of feeling anything at the moment.

How stupid.

–

They were walking together to that shelter house for the last time. So, of course, he couldn’t help but bring it up.

“…I’m not him. You know that, don’t you, Hinata-kun? I’m not…your Nagito. I’m nobody. I’m a servant.”

“You’re Nagito.”

“Urgh.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re not listening.”

“Neither are you,” Hinata shot back immediately. “Look, it’s simple. Regardless of what you think, of what you actually remember, you’re still a guy named Komaeda Nagito. You’re still Nagito. And that’s enough for me.”

“…why?” All this time and it was only now that he couldn’t help but ask. “Why? Because Komaeda Nagito is your lover? What has he done to earn such devotion?” A pause, a twist in his smile. “Was the sex that good, Hinata-kun?”

Hinata flattered, taken aback, and then, with a scowl, his glare narrowed severely.

“We’re friends,” he said. “And I love him.”

“It must really be lonely then, being stuck with me,” Servant replied, blinking bright doe eyes back at him. “Say, how about tonight, I make it worth your while? I’ll show you my gratitude. Because, for Hinata-kun’s love and kindness, I really am, so, so grateful.”

Hinata froze for a moment. He went very, very still.

The shelter house is visible, now. It really did look like such a cold, empty place from a distance.

“…don’t joke around like that,” Hinata finally said after a while. “That’s…not… That’s not funny, Nagito.”

“Oh, Hinata-kun,” he sighed and shook his head in mock disappointment. “I was being quite serious, you know.”

“That’s not funny.”

Servant blinked once. Twice.

“I really could make it worth your while,” he repeated sweetly. “I’ve been around enough times to know what it’s like. Of course, compared to your actual lover, since I don’t know your preferences…”

…and since Kamukura-kun didn’t have any…

“…I might end up fairly lacking, but, still, I could…”

“Nagito,” Hinata said, short and curt. “Stop. Stop…talking like this.”

“Like what?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“Like…like…” Hinata hesitated. “Like there’s nothing between us.”

“There is nothing between us,” Servant answered matter-of-factly. “After all, I don’t remember this relationship at all. So to me, it might as well not even exist.”

“Please don’t say that.” Hinata looked desperate. “You know that’s not true.”

“Do I, really?” I don’t think so. “I think you’re mistaken, Hinata-kun. That, or it’s just wishful thinking.”

“Nagito…” Hinata was pleading with him.

Servant was tired of this.

“…Let’s not talk like this anymore, like there’s something between us,” he said, turning around. “After all, I don’t remember you at all. You’re just a stranger, Hinata-kun. An acquaintance, at best.”

“I’m your lover, Nagito!”

Servant pauses for but a moment.

“…Hinata-kun…” He glanced back. “I’m just going on ahead. Calm down.”

And with that, he moved on. Hinata followed him, of course, but…even though Hinata could easily catch up and match his pace, he instead maintained that distance. Even when Servant reached the door and headed directly to his room.

Hinata didn’t follow him, after that. For the first time in weeks, Servant was back to staying in a room by himself.

It wasn’t that hard to go back to sleep, and he didn’t really dream anything, either.

It just was.

Hope, despair… I don’t really feel anything right now.

–

He didn’t know any of the people who greet them on the boat. They were all dressed in the same dark suits, all wearing the same impassive faces with sharp gazes. Hinata talked with them politely, respectably, and in that moment, he definitely saw what could be a more dutiful Kamukura Izuru.

So he might as well not be Kamukura Izuru at all. He’s definitely Not-Kamukura-kun.

Servant couldn’t help but feel a little uncomfortable. He was deferential and quiet as he should be, and was more than used to the masses looking down on him, but…the air here was different. It wasn’t like dealing with other SHSL Despair members. Of course not. Of course…not.

All the sharp gazes really were quite piercing though. Like he was being cut right through flesh and bone and his very being. It was uncomfortable. Right down to the point he finds himself drifting closer to Hinata as he talked. Hinata was talking to them like he wasn’t even there, about the rebuilding of the world, the state of affairs, surveys and predictions—

Servant keeps his head down, but he perks because despite all this, Hinata’s open hand was extended slightly towards him. He looked back up, but Hinata is still in deep conversation about all these things Servant didn’t fully understand nor truly care about.

He hesitates, but all the same, he slipped his hand into Hinata’s. Hinata squeezes, stroked his hand with his thumb, and continued on talking like nothing happened.

He felt the prickling sensation of several sharp gazes, but…Hinata’s hand is warm, a little too tight, and really, wasn’t that a little problematic?

Still, admirably, Hinata finished these conversations. And yet, Hinata did not let go of his hand.

“S-Sorry,” Hinata told him lowly, smiling a little towards him. “That was, uh, pretty nerve-wracking, wasn’t it? You must have been…really uncomfortable…”

Hinata’s grip was still a little too tight, especially with the added squeeze. It was a bit clammy, too.

“It’s fine, Hinata-kun,” he said. “Really, it’s fine.”

Hinata exhaled a sigh of relief, squeezing his hand a little more.

“T-That’s great! I’m glad you’re alright, Nagito!”

Another squeeze.

“Why do you keep squeezing my hand?” Servant finally asked, irritated. “Didn’t I tell you that without my memories, there’s nothing between us? You’re being a creepy nuisance, Hinata-kun.”

“A-Ah!” Hinata’s hand snapped back. “S…Sorry…!”

Servant huffed as the other rubbed nervously at the nape of his neck. Without another word, Servant brushed past him.

“I’m definitely not the one you should be worrying about, Hinata-kun,” he remarked. Hinata flinched, but he nodded. Nothing more was said as Servant shut the door to his cabin behind him.

–

…Is that why Hinata-kun loves him?

His hand still tingled from Hinata’s warmth. He stared at it, adjusting his other hand, the mechanical one, just to hear it whirl.

I shouldn’t be thinking of this. What does it matter?

He thought that, but then he couldn’t help but wonder, what did matter?

I don’t know. I feel so…disconnected. That’s…it. That’s all. Not hope, not despair. Disconnected.

That should’ve been despairing in of itself. But despair felt like such a distant thing that he really couldn’t be bothered to dwell on it.

The trip back to Jabberwock was going to be a long one. And it was going to be all the more stifling and dull if he spent it avoiding Hinata like he planned.

Well.

It’s not like there’s anything to say to him, or to anyone, really. Maybe he’ll be so numbed by boredom that memories will come bursting through and he’ll be so overcome with emotion that he’ll rush to Hinata and passionately embrace him.

If only I could be so lucky. Haha.

“Hah…” He sighed, exhaled, and leaned back. “If only.”

–

Jabberwock’s sky was clear, sunlight blinding. If nothing else, his mechanical hand made good shade. It was funny. The trip had been smoother than he expected, and yet he still felt so woozy.

He didn’t need Hinata to help steady him. Despite that, rather annoyingly, Hinata kept glancing back like he wanted to. Admirably, Hinata maintained a respectful distance.

The others on that boat stay behind, but it was fine because so much of the former Class 77-B of HPA is there, waving and welcoming.

“Yo, yo! Hinata! Komaeda!”

“Yahoo! Hajime-chan!! Nagito-chan!!”

“Hinata-san, Komaeda-san…!”

Hinata waved back with a bright laugh that he hadn’t heard before, and yet his chest ached for it. It was annoying. And the bright, aching smiles on the others’ faces were also so, so irritating.

Mioda latched onto Hinata first, with Owari smacking his back. Kuzuryuu had a small, but undeniably fond smile, and Souda ruffled Hinata’s hair.

Sonia greets him first.

“Komaeda-san,” she said kindly and pleasantly. “You seem to be doing quite…well.”

And then, her eyes scanned him sharply. And he knew what she was looking for. Her smile was already strained, but she didn’t falter at all. If anything, she looked relieved.

“…I’m glad,” she finished. All Servant does is nod.

And then the others turned to stare. Servant looked down, not avoiding any gaze in particular except for Hinata��s.

Kuzuryuu approached him, then, leaning in. Servant did perk up at that.

“So you really don’t remember, huh?” His gaze wasn’t as fierce as before, brow furrowed like he was trying to figure something out. All the same, Servant once again averted his eyes. Kuzuryuu clicked his tongue. “Yep. Don’t remember at all.”

“…I apologize,” wa what he decided to meekly reply with.

“Oh, no,” Sonia said, laughing easily. “Komaeda-san, you do not need to apologize. It was a tragic, unfortunate accident, so…”

“We ain’t gonna hurt ya,” Owari cut in curtly. She was the one who seemed the most indifferent about the matter. “I know all you got is memories of that happening, but it ain’t gonna happen anymore, got it? I mean, unless you do something real stupid, of course.”

She cracked her knuckles. He wasn’t surprised at all.

He wasn’t surprised by Hinata stepping in between them either.

“Guys,” he said, stern and firm. “It’s fine. He doesn’t remember, but he’s hasn’t reverted or anything like that either.”

“He looks stable,” Koizumi spoke up next. “And if he isn’t, then crowding him definitely isn’t going to help. Back off, Akane-chan.”

Owari did, nodding, holding out her hands, but with her eyes shut with an otherwise completely unruffled expression.

“Nagito,” Hinata spoke to him quietly. “It’s alright. We’re all friends here.”

…Friends…?

His head was starting to spin, was definitely starting to ache as his eyes swept across all these piercing, boring gazes. Ah, right. He has been in a situation like this before, hasn’t he? Carelessly cruel stares closing in—it’s spinning around and round like before, like before, like—

It’s only chance that he met wide, light, gray-purple eyes. Eyes that widen further, darken further, and then Tsumiki Mikan froze like a doe in headlights. She shivered, just the slightest bit, but there’s an intensity in her gaze that immediately made him shiver as well.

“…Ah…”

“Nagito—!”

Hinata caught him just as he collapses. Everything was starting to blur, everything including Hinata’s stricken, worried face.

“…overwhelming…”

And just like that, Servant shut his eyes tight.

–

There was supposed to be a party welcoming them all back, and Servant, unsurprisingly, had no intention of going. He just stood in the entryway of a cabin that was supposedly his, and stared blankly at the very familiarly unfamiliar room. The door was still cold behind him.

For a moment, he almost regretted snapping at Hinata earlier to leave him be. Hinata had been quite kind to bring him to this room, after all. Despairingly cold, empty, and unused as the room was.

Because Komaeda Nagito spent most of his time in Hinata-kun’s room. They were lovers, after all.

It was still clean, at least. Someone had been cleaning it, but it wasn’t as clean as he prefered things, so he cleaned a bit more. With two hands, one being mechanical, scrubbing was actually pretty easy, especially compared to the cleaning those children made him do.

Even now, cleaning was one of the few things he still enjoyed, and he was actually rather good at it. Cleaning calms him down, and helps with the illusion of order in his utterly, despairingly disorderly life.

And here I am, cleaning and organizing the room of someone whose life is and isn’t mine.

He decided not to dwell too much on such thoughts.

What did it matter, anyway? Everything here—these curtains just a touch too light for his tastes, these various trinkets set up he both adored and hated, a shelf full of books that were well-worn and recognizable tucked between several that weren’t so well-worn and not at all recognizable. Pill bottles that clearly hadn’t been used in a while but were still set neatly aside just in case.

The dresser was already carefully organized, full of clothes to his tastes. For good measure, there were more than a few of Hinata’s shirts inside, too.

Servant scrubbed the bathroom so hard that it was sparkling afterwards.

There were some photos, too, taped to the walls. Photos of flowers, of skies, and ones where Komaeda Nagito is smiling with his former classmates. Quite a few are of Komaeda Nagito looking truly happy alongside Hinata’s wide, cheeky grin. Quite a few were simply of Hinata, glancing towards the camera—wearing an expression befitting of Kamukura Izuru.

Except, Kamukura Izuru’s gaze had never been this soft. It really must have been such a lucky capture on film. No wonder Komaeda Nagito had been eager to tape this one to the wall with the others.

The fridge was filled with water bottles and cans of the soda he likes, but not much else. It had been kept clean. The bathroom, too, had been kept clean, but there were two toothbrushes, one green and the other red. And of course, there was a well-stocked first aid kit. In the shower, there was jasmine-scented shampoo and conditioner. His favorite.

His. But not. Not really his.

Everything was sparkling when he was finally done cleaning.

The bed had already been make, the bedding washed. The blankets are thick and insulating. He could fall to sleep and never wake up. For a moment, he was tempted to. He was tired. So tired.

He cleans, cleans, cleans, and then he falls into a deep, deep sleep. He doesn’t even dream.

–

“Hey, morning. I, uh, thought you might be hungry, so…” Hinata was rubbing at the back of his neck, and he offered the tray like it was an olive branch. Everything on it is to his tastes. And after eating emergency rations for so long, it was sure to taste so heavenly he would end up in tears. “I…figured you wanted to stay in your room, but…”

“Thank you,” Servant said, nodding, taking the tray and then shutting the door. He didn’t wait until he hears Hinata leave before he sends a prayer to start eating.

He did end up crying. Because the food really is that good. But despite that, he doesn’t feel anything emotionally. His eyes just feel irritated from the tears. He supposed he’s irritated, then.

Servant doesn’t really think past that.

–

Servant also enjoyed a quiet lunch and dinner in Komaeda Nagito’s room. In the vanity, he was sure Komaeda Nagito was glaring at him again.

He doesn’t really think past that, either.

–

Sometimes, one of them knocks on his door. Whether they were polite like Sonia, crasser like Souda, or curt like Kuzuryuu, he refuses to answer if they’re not Hinata. Even the Imposter’s calmer, more careful greetings and mutterings—they talked quite a bit about this person named Mitarai also living there and Servant really, really didn’t care so he tuned it all out—deigned no response.

Owari would’ve kicked down his door had Nidai not stopped her. Mioda would’ve done the same if not for Koizumi.

He should consider himself very, very lucky.

Hinata apologized to him later, for everyone else.

“I’ll tell them to leave you alone,” he said quietly, and then laughs mirthlessly. “This, uh, probably isn’t helping you. They’re just…hounding you. I’ll get them to knock it off, so…take your time, alright, Nagito?”

“Not Nagito,” Servant huffed. Unsurprisingly, even if it was through the door, Hinata heard him. Hinata just sighed.

“Nagito,” he stressed, almost childishly. Then, quieter, “I’ll still be checking up on you. Maybe, if they can behave, some of the others can check on you, too.”

“You sound like a disgruntled preschool teacher,” Servant couldn’t help but remark. “Must be stressful.”

“It is.” Hinata didn’t even hesitate. “But…it is…what it is.”

Servant didn’t say anything then, even to return Hinata’s regards as the other wished him well before leaving. Instead, Servant curled in on himself, and once again shut his eyes tight.

–

Quiet breakfast. Quiet lunch. Quiet dinner.

The unfamiliar book he picked out already has a bookmark with a pressed five-leaf clover in it. He stared at it for a long time before he slams the book shut and returns it to its place on the shelf.

Another quiet breakfast. Another quiet lunch. Another quiet dinner.

He slept. He dreamed. He wakes with a jolt when he hears her.

“…Komaeda-san…”

–

Another knock. Another, another, another.

Covering his head with the pillow does little to block it out.

“K-Komaeda-san…” A pause. Firmer, “Komaeda-san… I… I know you can hear me…”

“Why are you being so shyyyy, Komaeda-san?”

“I-I know you can hear me!”

Servant slipped out of the bed, and then opens the door. Under his glare, Tsumiki froze up and faltered. She shivered, dropping her gaze. Servant’s stare narrows at this.

And then, politely, bitingly, he smiled.

“What is it, Tsumiki-san?”

“…I… I wanted to…check up on you…” Tsumiki hesitated, and then, softly, bitterly, she laughed. She almost sounded tearful. “H-Hinata-san…is going to be…so…so upset if he finds out about this, but…”

“But what, Tsumiki-san?”

“Y-You being locked in your room all day…isn’t…good for you, especially when…you still don’t remember, right?” she asked, softly, biting her tongue and lower lip. She fidgets with her fingers. They’re not bandaged. There are countless scars from burns and bruises on her arms and wrists.

“You’re such a kind person, Tsumiki-san, worrying about someone like me,” Servant said sweetly. She flinched. “That said, I’m sure you’re aware of what I do remember. So, really, isn’t this little cabin visit more harmful than helpful, Tsumiki-san?”

“I-I’m not trying to…” She stumbled on the words. Her eyes glimmer. “I-I know… I know I’m the last person you want to see, but…!” She shook her head. “Hinata-san…worries so much about you…that he talks to me about you anyway…”

“Yep, that sounds like him,” he replied cheerfully. “That Hinata-kun really is such a worrier, isn’t he? Isn’t he wonderful? Even without remembering him at all, I just can’t help but fall in love aaaaaaaall over again!”

Another flinch. Then, a flicker of dark irritation across her sharpened gaze, some gritting of her teeth, and then—

“I’m nothing special, and I’m definitely not the kind of person that others care for or fall in love with. You’ve told me as much, Tsumiki-san.” It was funny how the words cut through that irritation and Tsumiki actually looks stricken. “And yet, Hinata-kun…”

Tsumiki’s features twist, and then, softly, she says, “Hinata-san loves you. He…loves you. So much so that…if he saw me here… He’d get…v-very upset…”

“So, I suppose I should cut to the chase, then, and ask—why are you here, Tsumiki-san?” His grip on the door knob tightened. “The only reason I haven’t screamed yet is because I’m so very curious as to why that is.”

“I-I… I don’t…have a good answer… P-Please don’t scream…” It’s funny how she begs, how she looks close to tears. Before, she would’ve been laughing and goading him on. “I-I just thought… I’d…talk to you because… Komaeda-san… I-I want to help…”

“I believe you,” he answered honestly. “That doesn’t make seeing you any less unsettling and uncomfortable. You should have known that’d be the case. This is far too careless of a move for a nurse to make, Tsumiki-san.”

She flinched again.

“I’m not going to tell Hinata-kun about this, but I still want you to leave.” His lips twist, twitch, but he doesn’t smile nor frown. “If you stay here, I’ll definitely end up sick.”

“O-Oh… I see…”

Then leave already.

“S-Sorry… So…” She hiccups, and then, “I-I’m sorry…”

Leave, leave, leave…!

“U-Um… Um… R-Right… I-I… I was thinking…” She wipes at her tears, breath hitching, and then, “Y-Your memory…”

I don’t care, just go away!

“Hmm?” His head tilted to the side, smile widening. “What of it?”

“K-Komaeda-san…not you but… Komaeda-san, he…made videos… They’re…probably in Hinata-san’s cabin… Um… If you see them, it might…jolt your memory…”

Servant blinked once. Twice.

“…Oh. I see.”

Tsumiki furiously nodded.

“…Thank you, Tsumiki-san, for telling me this.”

“Ah, n-no, it’s…nothing—”

He slams the door in her face before she can even really finish. He hears her cry out and perhaps she even started crying but, by then, he really couldn’t be bothered to care even the slightest.

–

It wa late. He couldn’t sleep at all. Hinata’s cabin door wasn’t locked. Moonlight filters through the blinds on the windows. Hinata slept gracelessly and restlessly. He supposed he should be grateful he was so used to navigating through the dark.

Hinata tossed and turned with a groan, but his slumber was a deep one. The way moonlight filters through the curtains, catching on his defined jaw, defined body. If he weren’t so squirmy, he’d be quite the sublime, stunning sight.

The video player was on Hinata’s desk, as are some videos. It’d be some ridiculous coincidence if these were the videos Tsumiki mentioned. Which meant, of course, that they had to be.

“Mmgh…” Another shift. Servant gathered up the videos and the player. “Nn…”

Despite himself, he didn’t leave immediately. Instead, he paused for a moment and then carefully brushes back Hinata’s fringe. Hinata would need another haircut, soon.

Hinata had such a troubled face. What an aching sight.

“…I’m sorry, Hinata-kun…”

He couldn’t do much else besides leave.

–

It was still late. He still couldn’t sleep.

In the darkness, the light of the screen is especially bright, especially with the shots of a clear, vibrantly blue island sky.

“Jabberwock Island, a paradise of everlasting summer, flourishing with beauty. It’s no wonder that once upon a time, this place was a fabulous resort.” A pause, and then a laugh. “And now it’s the base of a former terrorist organization! It’s still beautiful though, even with that ugly description, isn’t it?”

This…was definitely his voice. At that moment, that was all Servant could think.

And now the camera was fixated on the gulls, squawking and gathering around on the beach. A giggle. His giggle. Komaeda Nagito’s giggle.

“Even under these circumstances, they flourish. Isn’t that a beautiful thing? Hmm. Come to think of it, I wonder where Tanaka-kun is…”

“HARK FEATHERED BEASTS OF MAR!!!”

“Ah. There he—”

And then a seagull flew into the camera, making the video cut out as Komaeda Nagito yelped. Static.

When the camera regained itself, it showed a shot of the trees.

“…Ah! How lucky…! It’s working again!” Another pause. “Oh… But… The smell of this air…”

Clouds were rumbling, and then, a drop of water splattered onto the camera from above.

“Oh, no.”

It quickly switched to the inside of some kind of lodge, all while rain and crashing thunder could be heard.

“…Even in paradise, there are storms…” Komaeda Nagito turned the camera to face the window, where outside, it poured and poured. “Mm, but I think there is beauty to this as well.”

A flash of lightning burst in a blinding white crack through the sky itself before disappearing as though it were never there.

“I don’t care for the loud crashing sounds…” It was clear that the camera is shaking. “But I find the sight to be beautiful. Beauty can come in all different ways, be it despairing…or hopeful. Sometimes both. Sometimes neither.”

“Nagito, why are you still messing with that camera?” Hinata said from out of shot. “Come here, let’s get you dried off.”

“Ehehe. Coming, Hajime-kun.”

And so on.

And so this…was the kind of person Komaeda Nagito had been. The kind of person Servant had and hadn’t been.

And there was still more, of course.

“On quiet summer nights, even the stars whisper to one another. Their secrets are long lost by the time they reach us, leaving behind mere twinkles of a conversation.” A hum. “I don’t know if that makes much sense, haha!”

Laughter. Several of his former classmates seemed to be having the time of their lives running around and splashing one another on the beach as the camera scanned the area.

“Summer passes and one remembers their exuberance.” A pause. A laugh. “Of course, it’s always summery here, so… I guess that quote doesn’t apply in the slightest, haha.”

“How long are you going to be shooting that video you weirdo?!”

“Ah, ah, don’t mind me, Saionji-san!”

“Yo, Komaeda, try to get my good side!”

“Um… If I can, Souda-kun…”

“KoMAEda!!!” Nidai’s shout was so booming it caused Komaeda Nagito to jump and for the video to once again cut out.

Once again, the camera ends up fixated on a vast, starry sky.

“I know I’ve already recorded, this, but…” Komaeda Nagito takes in a deep, admiring breath. “I just…really love deep, contemplative summer nights, especially when the stars are out like this.”

He always had loved those nights, loved these summer stars.

Komaeda Nagito admires this sky for a while. Quite a while. Somehow, he was not bored with it. If anything, he was almost disappointed when the scene changes to that of a dark hallway that Komaeda Nagito seemed to be navigating. Barely anything can be seen in the fuzzy sight of the camera, and already he misses the stars.

But then, Komaeda Nagito began to whisper.

“We might have one of the rarest opportunities here, if he’s still up. My fingers are crossed! Ahhh, but, he surely hears how hard my heart is pounding…”

Komaeda Nagito turns into an office room of sorts. Komaeda Nagito sucked in his breath. As for himself, his breath caught when he realizes what he was seeing.

The room was slightly illuminated, and Komaeda Nagito’s giddiness is almost palpable as the camera focuses on Hinata sifting through papers on the desk.

Except, it wasn’t really Hinata.

His long dark hair was tied back, but with enough fringe that the scarring was still covered up. The crimson in his focused gaze was piercing, and yet, Komaeda Nagito whispered excitedly.

“And here our fortune has brought us the elusive sight of Kamukura Izuru at work…!” A sigh, and then, “He really is something else! Such presence! It gives me chills even when all he’s doing is staring at a wall! To see him actually focused on something is simply…!”

Kamukura Izuru glanced at the screen.

“Nagito,” he said, and he did, in fact, shiver. Komaeda Nagito also shivered, he’s sure, as Kamukura turns to fully face him. His gaze was showed no signs of emotion, and yet, the words were soft, careful. “What are you doing, Nagito?”

“A-Ah, Izuru-kun…” Stammering. “This is just…my…”

“If there is anyone who should be getting filmed,” Kamukura went on. “It should be you.”

And then he stood, and it went by in such a rushed blur as Komaeda Nagito cried out, “I-Izuru-kun, no…!”

Fumbling, gasping, and then Komaeda Nagito is finally shown, covering his face. Even in the low light, it was easy to tell those fair features were flushed a glowing scarlet.

“Ah, the elusive, sheepish Komaeda Nagito…” Kamukura sounded almost admiring, definitely fond. He can’t help but swallow at that, especially as the other went on. “Nagito, it is a shame to hide such a pleasant sight.”

“N-Noooo, Izuru-kun…” Komaeda Nagito whines.

“Ah, I will stop, then. I apologize.” Kamukura didn’t sound that sorry.

“Uuuuu…”

The video once again cuts away.

This time, however, when the video returns, Komaeda Nagito had set it up so that he was in the shot. His smile is like the ones in the pictures, even as he had his tongue stuck out in concentration as he fiddled with the camera.

“Ah, here we go! Despite a lot of setbacks, this video is recording!” He smiled even brighter. “I really am so lucky!!”

…It was uncanny. It was definitely uncanny.

“The others are a little confused as to why I keep bothering with this camera,” Komaeda Nagito went on. “Even though the reason is so simple, isn’t it? I’m making memories, precious memories! Ones that I won’t even forget even if my brain rots all the way!”

He blinked once. Twice.

“Hajime-kun, you’re watching this, aren’t you? Or maybe it’s Izuru-kun?” Komaeda Nagito looked positively radiant. “Ehehe, that’s really embarrassing, but… It does make me really happy.”

He couldn’t help but shiver.

“Whichever one it is, all the same, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. If I’m not allowed to forget, then you aren’t, either. I’ll be making more of these, you know.” Komaeda Nagito gave a mischievous wink. “And I’ll be leaving this same message on every one!”

Blink.

“Well, I’ll be seeing you.”

Shiver.

“Till next time.”

And just like that, the video ended, and shut off.

And yet, Komaeda Nagito remained. His smile was more eerie than anything, gaze shadowy rather than bright as before.

And before he knew it, Servant ran.

–

It’s still dark out. The stars are out. Daybreak was still quite a way away. It was a calm night, with the moon shimmering serenely overhead. The perfect night to quietly read under.

He was banging on Hinata’s unlocked door with his mechanical hand, so hard it was going to dent the wood. Still, it didn’t take long for Hinata to answer, alert, eyes wide with the shadows underneath looking so much darker when as hazel and crimson seemed to bright.

“Nagito…!” He was trembling as Hinata looked him over, and he should feel utterly exposed but—“Nagito…”

Hinata faltered, quieted, and sighed.

“Did you…have a nightmare?”

He managed to shake his head.

“I…see…” Hinata looked stiff, uncomfortable. Wary. But his gaze…was definitely one of a lover’s worry. Because they were lovers. They were lovers. “Nagito, how…are you feeling?”

He wasn’t feeling anything except the raw desperation that comes from sending message after message and not having one message reach anyone.

He grabbed onto Hinata’s shirt collar and yanked. Hinata barely had time to suck in his breath before their lips come crashing together. His arms looped around Hinata’s neck to pull him closer, and Hinata held him steady so that they didn’t end up stumbling over and falling.

These weren’t the giddy yet tentative kisses he’d pressed to Kamukura’s mouth. These aren’t the gentle, passionate kisses he’d seen on movie screens. He was practically wrenching Hinata’s mouth open with his own, tongue storming in to wash over everything.

He had been kissed like this before and always hated it. But this wasn’t like that. They’re lovers. Hinata was his. This was his.

Hinata even kissed him back. They were drowning in each other, they loved each other, they were lovers, lovers, lovers—

And he needed to breathe. So, he pulled back, and then, Hinata pressed a careful hand to his lips to keep him from leaning back in.

It was gentleful, but he flinched like he had been hit.

And, of course, Hinata’s gaze was searching his own. Hinata breathed, lips parted and rosy, but his eyes were downturned.

“I…” He felt shame burn red hot in his cold, pale cheeks. “I…”

Hinata pressed their foreheads together, hand cupping his cheek and stroking over the curve with his thumb.

“…wanna talk about it?” His voice was a little coarse, a little rough. Almost like he had kissed the air out of him.

Disgusting. Disgusting. Dis—

“…C… Can we talk…? Hinata-kun…? I… I want to…”

Hinata smiled at him patiently, comfortingly, and he felt so, so cold and yet…like he would start crying at any moment, too. Hinata tugged him inside. Carefully. So carefully.

–

He was still clinging to Hinata so tightly that it was difficult for Hinata to grab him a bottle of water. But, Hinata carefully pried his arms away, setting him on the edge of the bed, and retrieved that water bottle. And, of course, Hinata noticed the missing player and videos when he does.

Hinata didn’t ask about them. Hinata just unscrewed the cap, and hands him the water to drink. He took the bottle, taking a sip.

“…You still don’t remember, huh?” Hinata asked softly, without judgement but all the same there was dismay to the words. “I… It’s fine. As long as you’re…”

“I…” He choked out. “I’m not…anything. I don’t actually feel like anything.”

“Yeah…?” Hinata’s smile was sad, but it was understanding as well. So understanding that he trembles.

Crossing lines and boundaries…

“…Yes…”

The pleasant feeling of having your own boundary fall to pieces…

“I…”

Hope, despair…

“I’m…”

Joy, anger, misery… I must not be meant to feel any of those things.

He gulped down the water.

Because I’m so—

And, then–

“I’m…disconnected from everything, Hinata-kun,” he finds himself saying. “Nothing about me…even feels real. This body isn’t really mine, my memories are far-off and unreachable, and every moment I see Komaeda Nagito reflected back, that hollowness spreads more and more. This water will…pass right through me.”

“It’s supposed to do that,” Hinata replied softly. Just as quietly, he laughed.

“You know what I mean,” he said mirthlessly, smile twitching. “I… The point remains. When Komaeda Nagito’s memories reawaken, what’ll happen to me? I’ll just…disappear, won’t I? Shouldn’t that be…really, really scary? And yet—shouldn’t I want that to happen? There are so many good memories so wonderful they feel like dreams. I should want them. But, Hinata-kun…”

He shivered, and he reached out with his mechanical hand, gripping the edge of Hinata’s shirt. It was a good thing fabric couldn’t be crushed.

“…Hinata-kun… I still feel…so cold…so…empty… Am I even really a person right now? Everything feels so far away, and like they’re getting further and further away. Or maybe, maybe I’m just close to losing my mind. Maybe I’m just crazy, if this is brain rot, then—” Then, what? What? “What am I here for? What am I living for? I can’t remember. I can’t remember anything. Who am I, Hinata-kun? I’m not Komaeda Nagito nor am I a servant, I just—I just am. But who am I?”

He wasn’t sure who flinched when Hinata grabbed him suddenly, squeezing his shoulders as vibrant hazel and burning crimson met with dull gray-green. Then, it turned out that Hinata was the one quivering, slight as that quivering may have been.

“…You’re Nagito.” He scoffed at that, but Hinata went on. “You’re Nagito. That’s… That’s the name your parents gave you, right? I don’t care who the hell anyone thinks they are, once someone’s given a name, no one can take that away. So, you’re Nagito, Nagito.”

His cold, vapid smile twitched.

“…Okay.” He was so tired. Far too tired to argue it. “Sure… Okay. Whatever. That said, you do know I’m still not…your Nagito, right? I mean, I do love you, but I’m not someone that you lo…”

“You’re wrong.” Hinata cut him off before he could continue. “You’ve got that wrong.”

He blinked once. Twice.

“…Oh?”

“You’re not that Nagito,” Hinata said quietly, firmly, but then squeezes his shoulders. “But you’re a Nagito I love all the same.”

…He didn’t understand. Perhaps he was too stupid to.

“Y-You… You have a bit of a mean streak…but you’re also reserved and soft-spoken. You’re spiteful, but… You’ve got an understated carefulness as well. You act really affectionate, but you don’t really let anyone come that close.” Hinata swallowed. “You sometimes forget about your left hand…but sometimes you seem fixated on the whirring sound the prosthetic makes. There’s a lilt to your voice, a crookedness to your smile—I can’t tell you who you are, exactly, Nagito, but… I know that you’re someone I love.”

“…That’s cheesy,” he said, quietly unimpressed. Hinata just laughed.

“Yeah… Yeah…” But when he smiled, it really did seem to be a fond one. “But… I do understand how you feel…about…not really feeling real…”

Hinata took his hand, kissed his wrist, and guided his fingers through his hair, so that the digits brush against scarred tissue surrounding the crown. Hinata’s smile faltered as he himself stiffened. With his other hand, Hinata squeezed his mechanical left.

“When I woke up, I definitely felt similar to that… Both of us did. Hell, a lot of us did,” he sighed. “Some of us…still can’t bring ourselves to remember the stuff we did… But… Hah. Haha. You never let us forget. We hated you for that, Nagito, but…we loved you for it, too.”

“That’s not me,” he couldn’t help but weakly snap. “I… Even if…that…sounds like me, it’s not…”

“…Yeah…?” Hinata’s faded smile twitched. He firmly nodded.

“…I’m sorry.” Hinata let go of his hands. “I… I do…get it…”

“I believe you.” For some reason, he was whispering now. “I… I do…”

Hinata was the one blinking back at him, frowning and all irritatingly quiet. Suddenly, he sniffled. He does, not Hinata.

“…I’m sorry…” His shoulders quivered. “I’m sorry I don’t remember… I’m really sorry, Hinata-kun.”

The reflection of Komaeda Nagito must be looking on with such disdain. I know I would be.

“It’s alright, because…” Hinata squeezed his shoulder as he had before. “In spite of everything, believe it or not… You’re still you. And that’s…something.”

“Something?” he echoed with bitter humor.

“Something I love,” Hinata amended, and he couldn’t help but laugh and laugh until the tears started to flow. Hinata pulled him close and he clung to him in return.

He wasn’t sure what happens after that. Not…not really. At some point, from fatigue, the lateness of the day, or something else, the two of them must have fallen asleep together.

–

When he woke, it was late in the day, and there was a letter on the floor that had been shoved underneath the door. He couldn’t care less about that, instead focused on the herculean task of wiggling out of Hinata’s firm embrace. Somehow, he manages to free himself.

Just like Komaeda Nagito, Hinata had a red and a green toothbrush. As Komaeda Nagito’s stare bored into him, he brushed his teeth with the green one.

“…You know…” Both he and Komaeda Nagito speak up at the same time, and it was startling. He jumps. But then, he relaxed, and he sighed.

“…We really are…quite lucky, aren’t we…?” He couldn’t help but smile, and so ruefully, Komaeda Nagito smiled back. “Hey… When you come back… Can I…still stay…? I… It’s silly and… I’ve been uncomfortable most of the time I was here, but… I think… I want to stay. So, can I…?”

He paused.

It was not that Komaeda Nagito reflected back at him.

It was…just him.

Just him.

“…of course it is,” he scoffed at himself, shaking his head. “It’s always been just me.”

He rinsed out his mouth, running the brush delicately through his hair a few times. Despite that, he still fiddled with his fringe. It’s not as long as it used to be—but it was still pretty long. Come to think of it, Hinata’s hair was pretty long, even if it wasn’t as long as it used to be.

Perhaps they both need haircuts. Perhaps.

He returns to the room and, somehow, Hinata was still sleeping like a log. He was snoring, but not shifting, and he couldn’t help but snort as he brushed back those dark brown strands. Hinata’s lashes twitch, but he only groaned, nuzzling into the pillow. His snoring resumed, because of course it did.

You really are troublesome, Hinata-kun. As a lover, shouldn’t you be greeting me with a warm good morning? Ah, but I forgive you, because we’re lovers.

…Just kidding.

Hinata had a coffee maker, which he made use of. He didn’t add any sugar, because he didn’t remember Hinata ever adding sugar to his coffee. He stirred it all the same, and Hinata stirred awake.

“Mm… Nagito…?”

“Hinata-kun,” he greeted, bringing him his mug. Uncaring, Hinata took it and drank it almost immediately.

“…Gh.” And then, another swallow. “Guh… Good morning, Nagito.”

“Do you not get burned, Hinata-kun?” he asked curiously. Hinata shook his head. “Ah, I see.”

“Mm…” Hinata gulped down some more. “I wasn’t sure if you’d still be here in the morning.”

“Well, I stayed,” he said. “It seems I’m going to stay for as long as I’m able.”

“Yeah?” Hinata asked, and he of course nodded. Hinata hummed, and then, “If you’re interested, there’s going to be a party later. There’s no occasion. But I could tell the others were preparing one anyway. Mioda’s anything but subtle.”

“Ah, I see…” He couldn’t have been less interested if he tried. “I’d rather just spend my time with the one I love. And the one who loves me.”

Hinata nearly choked, but he couldn’t help but laugh and laugh. Exasperated, Hinata shoots him a look.

“…You’re something else, Nagito.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “I am.”

Smile brightening, head tilting to the side, he couldn’t help but go on.

“I love you, Hinata-kun. Thank you.”

Hinata stiffened, but then he did smile. Despite that exasperation, his smile is warm and sincere.

“I love you too, Nagito, and… You’re welcome.”

[imtheperfectvoid]

oh worm??? somebody else has danganronpa salt to share???? gimme ALL OF THEM! unleashthat shit!!

Holy Shit Anon - Okay fuck it Let’s get Salty about Danganronpa

Posting the Answers under a Read More! (Spoilers are Ahead for Those who Haven’t finished V3)

Salty Ask List

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

I mean, I can Get Most of The Popular Ones, even if I Don’t personally Ship Them, but like. There’s a Few Smaller Ships that Some People Love that I can’t Quite Understand - like, Apparently Souda/Mahiru is Kinda Popular in the Japanese Fandom?? I don’t Understand that One At All.

2, Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

S*UDAM. Fucking S*UDAM. I just. I Cannot see them Romantically at All - and I Adore the Thought of Them as Brothers (either Friends or Literal Adoptive Brothers - shoutout to @ultimatesoulfriend​ and Our Soul Brothers AU). Some other OTPs that I Prefer as BrOTPs: Akane/Nekomaru, Sonia/Gundham, Sonia/Souda, Shuichi/Kaede, Naegi/Kirigiri, Komaeda/Hajime, Fuyuhiko/Peko, Kiyo/Angie, and Probably some Others that I’m just Not Thinking of At the Moment

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Not yet, Thankfully! I Manage to Follow only Good People who don’t Condone Pedophilia or Incest or Abusive Ships!

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

Once again, S*udam. BrOTP Only for This Guy. I Also Absolutely Hate T*gafuka, Any Junko Ship (esp Her with Komaeda or Mukuro), Any Haiji Ship (like Seriously Guys - Dude’s a Literal Pedophile), Mikan/Hiyoko, Kiyo and His Sister, Kiyo/Angie, All Those are Bad to Me.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

K*mahina and Sai*uma are the Only Two coming to Mind - they were Fine at First, but The Fandom is just So Overly Saturated in Content for Those Ships and It’s. Exhausting. I was Never a Big Shipper of Either of Them to Begin With, but The Oversaturation just Kinda Killed any Potential for Me.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

I’ve never Gone from Hating a Ship to loving It - usually it’s more of Ships that I Never really Considered or Thought Much of until I Saw Content for Them and Fell in Love With Afterwards. Irumatsu’s a Good Example of That, as is Goshi, Amaguuji, Nekodam, and Several Others.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

See Answer to #5

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

Thankfully, again, No - but I Also don’t really Get Involved with Discourse Much so I Tend to Dodge getting Anon Hate bc of That

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Hiyoko’s Mean without being Funny Most of the Time, Haiji is a Literal Pedophile and a Major Dick, Tsumugi is Too Dull (even if That is Her whole Schtick), and I Cannot Bring Myself to Care for Most of the DR3 Characters aside from Juzo and Seiko - Chisa’s Okay too, but Kinda Meh for the most Part for Me.

10. Most disliked arc game? Why?

Ultra Despair Girls. All the New Characters were Either the Actual Worst or Simply Meh aside from Komaru and Hiroko, we got Zero Fucking Show of Any of the Remnants of Despair aside from Komaeda and Some Izuru at the End, and it Just felt Lacking Overall. The Best Things that came Out of DR:AE were Komaru and a Much Better Toko.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I feel like Ryoma is Vastly Underappreciated in the Fandom - Love that Dude to Hell and Back. Idk how Popular/Unpopular Hagakure is In the Fandom, really, but I really Enjoy him A Lot and Not many People Seem to Talk about Him (aside from Really Tired and Overdone Weed Jokes).

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I’ll take Arc to mean Trial this Time, so I’ll Say that I Honestly Enjoyed playing through Chapter 6 of V3 - regardless of My Opinions on The Trial and the Twist of V3 Itself, the Actual Playing of Chapter 6 was Pretty Fun and I Enjoyed Piecing everything Together during That Chapter and Exploring the School Fully and Whatnot.

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Idk if it’s Necessarily Unpopular, but I Don’t really See the Appeal in Rantaro? Like, He’s Cool and A Good Dude, but People Seem to Love Him and I don’t? Really get Why? He’s just kind of. A Dude. he’s Nice and Chill and Definitely Pretty but like. That’s about It.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

Again, not Necessarily Unpopular, but I Think there’s More Good to the Fandom than People Realize - Granted, the Shit that’s Bad is Baaaaad, but There’s a Lot of Good in this Fandom Beneath all the Bullshit and the Drama and the Weird, Weird Shit.

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

I still Stand By my Opinion that the V3 Ending wasn’t As Bad as People are Making it Out to Be. Yeah, it Wasn’t Stellar by Any Means and it Could’ve been a Lot Cooler and there were Some Notable Plot Holes and Whatnot but! Despite All That! I still Feel like, now that I’ve Sat on It and Really Let myself Absorb the Ending and Process it, I Still Enjoyed it, for What it was Worth.

16. If you could change anything in the show games, what would you change?

DR1: Only Big Thing I’d wanna Change is Hagakure should’ve Died in Taka’s Place - i Love Hiro, but I love Taka, Too, and He was Really Deserving of DevelopmentDR2: Sonia Should’ve been the One to Murder Mechamaru. like, Again, I Love Sonia, but Having Her as the Murderer would’ve left So Much Room for Her, Souda, and Even Gundham to Have some Amazing Development form the Experience, Especially Souda - He could’ve Gotten the Fuck Over himself and Not been So One-Note in his Characterization and He could’ve Learned to be Fucking Respectful of Women and Possibly even Befriended Gundham in the Process!! Plus Having Sonia as a Murderer to Save Everyone?? Amazing.DR:AE: just. Delete this Game. That’s the ChangeDRV3: Give Korekiyo Shinguuji the Goddamn Writing he Should’ve been Given. God that Dude had So Much Potential for an Interesting Motive or a Cool Twist or Even a Sad Breakdown where His Amoral Views are Suddenly Turned on their Head and he Shows that He’s Incredibly Afraid of Death - but What did We Get? Weird Creepy Incest Time. Actually, better Yet, just. Get Rid of All the Weird Incest Stuff in V3 in General. it’s All Bad and Weird.

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

Okay so Now that I’m Thinking about Kiyo’s Godawful Writing, I wanna Talk about How I would’ve Loved to See his Twist involve Him Dealing with his Amorality and his Indifference to Life and Death. like, Imagine if He Broke Down during the Trial and said He’d Killed Angie because it Turned Out he was Actually Afraid of Dealing with the Spirit World, because He’s Very Spiritual and Doesn’t Want to Anger them or Upset them  - especially since His Sister (whom He Wasn’t Incestuous With - Not on My Watch) is Now a Spirit and he Feels that Trying to Resurrect the Dead is Desecrating the Balance of Life and Death. Hell, maybe He even Felt Envious that They could Supposedly Bring back a Dead Classmate here but he Could Never bring his Sister Back, so he Lashed Out at Angie in a Rage. and Maybe Tenko Witnessed him do it and He had to Kill Her to Keep her Quiet or Something (get Rid of the Weird Seesaw Nonsense).

idk I just. Really Really Liked Kiyo’s Character a Lot up until That Point and it was a Major Letdown that I’m Still not Over.

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

I mean, When it Comes to Shipping, if you Don’t Ship Something, it’s Not because you’re “in Denial” of Anything or Necessarily Biased (and Shit, even if You are, then What’s the Problem? I’m Biased against S*udam because I Have an AU where they’re Brothers and I Like that Way More than Putting them Together Romantically). Not Shipping something that’s Popular is Whatever - Ship what you Want, so Long as it Isn’t Abusive or Incestuous or Pedophilic or Anything like that.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

the Fucking. People who are Just Mass-Producing Discourse All the Time. like, Everybody who Attacks People and Sets up Literal Entire Sideblogs Dedicated to Hating Certain Characters. How do you Have the Energy and the Care to Be at People’s Throats all the Time, Y’all? That’s Insane to Me. and Especially Shoutout to that One DR Confessions Blog that’s Always in the Tags and is Practically Nothing but Discourse - That’s the Worst Offender that I can Think Of at the Moment.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Ohhh man, That’s Gotta be Goshi. I Cannot think of A Purer Ship than Those Two and it Warms my Gay Lil Heart to Pieces.

21. What are your thoughts on crack ships?

I Think they’re Fun! Like, Daiyakure? Good Shit! Fuyusouda? Excellent!! Soniakane? Stellar!!! A Lot of my Ships Personally are Kinda Crack-y, so I Thrive on That Shit

22. Popular character you hate?

I don’t Hate Him, but I’m Pretty darn Tired of Seeing Ouma Everywhere.

23. Unpopular character you love?

Again, Ryoma Hoshi is A Good Boy and Deserves So much more Love

24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

I Would - and Have - Absolutely Rec DR to a Friend! It’s a Fun Series with Engaging Story, Fun Characters, Good Mysteries, and A Lot to Love!

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

I’d Definitely Change the End of V3, but I Really haven’t Thought Extensively on How I’d wanna Change it. All I know is, If they Really Wanna Keep the Ending they Have, then Kiibo Really should’ve been The Protag and Not Kaede or Shuichi.

26. Most shippable character?

my OC Jato lmao I ship Hajime with. So Many People. like, He’s so Easy to Pair with People and they’re All so Good!! Another Close Contender would be Gundham or Souda bc I Like Them with Several People, Too (but Never Each Other)

27. Least shippable character?

Hifumi, Teruteru, or Ouma - I don’t Ship Any of Them with Anyone for Various Reasons

[fuwahiko]

Alright sending in that ask just gave me another scenario idea so hello im back 💜

KuzuKomaHina because i love The Dumbass Trio (that's their ship name now btw. The Dumbass Trio. It fits so well.) Izuru is Hajime's twin and they love each other even tho Izuru acts like a cat 24/7 (because i love this hc so much.) And Non-Despair...or Pre-Despair ;))))

So in an ask I sent to brynfelan a while back, I proposed that Junko despairs Hajime to get to class 77 because of all the personal connections he had with them. Because angst.

Now, same idea, but Junko fails to manipulate Hajime into despair, and she's forced to put her plans on a slight hold because "oh shit someone knows red alert time to wait it out."

Junko does eventually start her despair shit again, but this time Hajime's observant of her shit and is like "oh nOPE not my boyfriends and brother frick you imma fight this."

So Hajime decides to try and quietly ruin every one of Junko's schemes when she tries to put them in motion. Alone. With no help. Because "iVe GoTtA pRoTeCt My FrIeNdS, sHeS aFtEr ClAsS 77, mUsT pRoTeCt LoVeD oNeS!!!"

Yes that includes Sato and Natsumi's little...murder scuffle. Screw over Junko AND protect boyfriend's littke sister??? 2 birds with 1 stone.

But the main gist is that Hajime is single-handedly trying to ruin every plan Junko has without alerting any of his loved ones what almost happened to him, and what is currently happening to him. Which...he fails, because of course he does. But HOW does everyone find out and HOW do they deal with it and help Hajime??? Ur thoughts???

Izuru acting like a cat is something I didn’t know I needed in my life but it’s so damn perfect omgggg lmao

Hajime’s not having it. he’s not doing this shit today, man. don’t mess with this boy. don’t even try. but also - Hajime please stop trying to handle everything on your own this is getting silly now >:(

I love the idea of like, Hajime spending so much time alone trying to mess with Junko’s plans, managing to stop maybe one or two and then getting overconfident and letting his guard down a little. then because he’s been avoiding everyone including his boyfriends, Fuyuhiko and Nagito both feel sorta sad and are wondering why he’s so distant, so Hajime finally spends some time with them when he thinks he’ll be safe for a bit, but then little does he know some of Junko’s supporters have tracked Hajime down and he basically leads them straight to Fuyuhiko and Nagito! dun dun dunnnn

Hajime’s obviously feeling awful about this and Nagito’s probably all like “it’s all the fault of my terrible luck, I’m sorry I’m such a burden, this must’ve happened because of me because it’s such an unlikely event that all three of us would be captured like this” :( press f to pay respects

Fuyuhiko was being extra cautious though and had some kind of tracking thing on his phone that alerts everyone else and shows them their location. they get shoved into the back of some van and are pretty much helpless but Class 77 and Izuru show up and use their various talents to take down the vehicle and save the day >:)

imagine the shit Izuru could do though lmao like tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if he could sort shit out all on his own (wait wait would he still have all the talents in this au or?? whatever that’s what I’m going with lol). so he just like, does parkour across the rooftops nearby and then yeets himself onto the van while it’s still moving at a ridiculous speed and lands perfectly (like a cat... huh) and then somehow manages to get the door open all by himself (probably somehow still looking like a damn model the entire time. shit doesn’t even ruin his hair).

wait maybe this is where Hajime gets the whole working all on his own thing from... Izuru you’re a bad influence. or Hajime’s just a dumbass. yeah, probably that.

so Izuru handles that by himself but then the boys have still gotta get out and they can’t just jump out onto the road, so that would be where everyone else comes in - Izuru’s gotta leave them something to do I guess. idk why my first thought is Kazuichi using a bunch of massive drones or something to carry like a huge blanket for them to jump into haha but well uh... I’m not sure how realistic that is lmao. maybe that could hold one person and they do different stuff to rescue the others. Peko ties one end of a rope to a sword and yeets the sword down so it sticks in the van and then they climb out that way haha :’D ...this is probably even more unrealistic. wait wait wait no Gundham sends a flock of like two hundred large birds down to them and the birds work together to lift them and carry them out adasghdfjhgjfd

wait I just realised Izuru could probably just beat the crap outta Junko’s dudes and then take over the vehicle... but that’s not as fun as two hundred birds so we’ll say he can’t do that for some reason. maybe he does that cat thing where they decide they’ve done enough work for the day and just sit there expecting you to do everything for them lmao

in the end Nagito’s happy because hope won in the end or whatever but Fuyuhiko demands Hajime treat him to lots of cookies to make up for it

nobody’s letting Hajime outta their sight for like the next two weeks lol