#i have more but i cant think of them rn so this is all
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mellohiizz · 1 day ago
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was gonna do a full post with more designs, but it's already taking me way too long to post these, so whatever. here's some of my uu designs. <3 they're very basic, and i will do a more detailed sheet with different arcs (?) in mind, but it will take me way too long, i fear. so you can have those for now. ^_^ they're all from like... a month ago? maybe more.
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hexenfest · 2 days ago
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its so sad and heartbreaking the things happening in afghanistan.. women are being banned from talking or even hearing eachothers voices even during prayer theyre not allowed to speak
they destroyed women businesses and have got rid of hairdressers and stores that women owned and they are being silenced
banned from school not allowed to vote and this is all a result of psychotic tyrant MEN i was genuinely shocked when i read all the stuff that has come out recently how can this even be allowed to happen???
women are losing their HUMAN rights
feminism is everything we need rn its like were going back in time its fucking sad and weird what this world is
if the roles were reversed and the ability to speak freely or have an education was taken by men there’d be a huge issue yet women are literally being silenced and having their human rights taken away from them
afghan women cant even train to be a doctor and cant be treated by a male therefore they cannot access healthcare which is a basic human right..
whats even more fucking crazier is people are trying to defend this and try to make it seem okay when its not okay??? why would it ever be okay if the same happened to you you wouldnt fucking like it its horrible
as a girl with a middle eastern mother i find it appalling how brown men talk about women and girls im happy my mother has a similar mindset to me but most brown men are genuinely so out of touch with reality and far gone some of the things ive heard or that theyve said to me is insane idk why they feel that things like this are right or okay and the fact its so normalised amongst them is crazy i feel bad for my mother and her sisters and how they were treated as kids simply bcs they are women im fortunate and lucky to have a father that literally explains to me why guys are bad and to not talk to them or waste my time on them as a girl and he has made me so aware of what men are really like and im thankful for that its been like engrained into my brain since i was very young because of him and my mother
using religion to twist it and push political ideologies that take away womens rights is such a huge issue, im not even talking about just afghanistan even america.. ive seen numerous christian men defend taking abortion rights away.. its like first why are u even allowed an opinion on it, ur a MAN.. and second why do u think its okay to tell a woman what she can or cant do with her OWN body……………
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pulluppuddles · 2 days ago
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initiation
cw: manipulation, intoxication, gaslighting, omorashi, pet/puppy play,
at first, it seemed rly cool that the gorgeous sorority president on campus had invited u, a brand new freshman, to be her date to the greek life halloween party...u were anxious but oblivious as she introduced u to her sorority sisters while keeping a tight grip on ur waist, leading u around as she kept casually filling ur glass and encouraging u to drink...
it wasnt long before the alcohol caught up with ur bladder and ur brain...she was talking to the president of the frat club when it hit u...u needed to pee...now!
a small whimper escaped u as u clenched all the muscles in ur body and gradually, the urgency subsided... blushing, u try to duck out of her grip, sluring about needing the bathroom
she grips ur waist tighter and pulls u back, smirking..."excuse me, did u ask?"
u look up at her bewildered and suddenly, she pushes u against the wall, knee between ur legs, grinding against ur puppy parts
u cant help but let out a small moan as more partygoers turn to watch. she puts on a fake sympathy look and coos "aweee whats the matter pet? u know u've always had to ask before u leave my side, why would it be okay for u to disobey me now? did u think i wouldnt punish u here, in front of all of them?"
ur so drunk...so confused...is this true? u rly cant afford to think too hard about it rn as its taking everything u've got not to relieve urself and the constant rubbing of her knee on ur puppy parts isnt making it any easier
suddenly her knee is gone and u have to scramble to press ur legs together. she leads u outside where the party continues. there's a pool in the backyard and the sounds of the splashing r too much. u double over, holding ur crotch as everything in ur body screams for relief and u begin to leak.
suddenly u feel breath on ur ear and a soft growl tells u to piss urself. u want to resist but u cant help it, even as u hold urself, tendrils r snaking down ur legs. ur pissing ur pants in front of everyone. u start to cry as u continue to pee, everyone watching and smirking at u.
after what seems like forever, ur bladder is empty and she leads u back inside. everyone stares and smirks, hushed tones mentioning the sororitys new pet.
she leads u through the house to her bedroom, a metal cage with a big dog bed in it and warns u that this is ur bed and if u ruin it u wont get another.
she proceeds to strip u and clean u up, tsking at the slick in your underwear. "look how leaky u r pet" u blush as she lays u down on ur back in the cage and pulls on a pair of medical gloves
"now, be good or i will bind ur hands and feet. this is happening whether u fight it or not" u don't have a chance to wonder what that means before her hands wander down between ur legs and begin a thorough investigation of ur puppyparts
it isnt long before her soft touch has u foaming at the mouth, whining and pleading for more. she smirks and shuts the door of the cage...ur cage... "have sweet dreams pet" she purrs as she closes the door and returns to the party
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bunnyboy-juice · 4 months ago
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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mrmeepsmadmind · 26 days ago
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rewatching this over and over again.. mainly bcs tarn makes soundwave into a manlet but also bcs it's hilarious
#thunderhowl at the copilot doing Absoluteky nothing then being surprised when shadowstriker is unfamiliar with the terrain: :D#i get ure a theater kid but CAN U STOP BEING SO CRYPTIC#bumblebee moving to the wall like the only smart person#optimus just wants to find the source#had to include soundwave being the bitchiest person for no reason at the end of course 🩵 mi lady#somebody help tarn bro only has one arm 😭😭#hes not even using it against a wall or anything like hes just trying to keep his balance#everybody panicking while shadowstriker doesnt give a fuck#girlboss shit she does every day and no one cares it pisses me off yall need to appreciate my mean lesbian like yall appreciate her mean gay#bestie#thunderhowl :) bcs he wants soundwave to struggle probably. i mean at the cost of others maybe risking a concussion? sure#theyre both so petty but try to act too cool to be in their own lame ways. im obsessed with them#he was hoping soundwave was gonna land in his lap 💔#somehow from all the way back there LMFAO if his terrains can defy gravity so can his beloved annoyance ok. he believes#im a filthy multishipper so i need tarn and soundwave to have more fic & kiss too bcs it's literally tarn being like I Know What You Are#(a Bttm) to soundwave and soundwave having to screw his lips into a smile & be like teehee of course.. only to be like (u forgot the Brat*)#at the end like. why are they like that. tarn holding him by the waist with 1 arm being like i got u bbgirl meanwhile hes getting#60000 concussions and soundwave is trying So hard not too laugh.. TOO loudly. (tarn thinking hes so anime protag rn)#tf cyberverse#soundwave#tarn#thunderhowl#shadowstriker#bumblebee#optimus prime#maccadam#transformers#I CANT BELIEVE I HAD ENOUGH ROOM FOR THESE TAGS!
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dukeofthomas · 2 months ago
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I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay 👍 "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!
and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!
#my dc posting#dc#robin#batman#like. if you want to tell a story and not worry abt the child endangerement thing just DONT BRING IT UP ???#all you're doing when you bring it up is telling me this is something i'm allowed to think abt when it comes to the story#and then you tell me Um Actually It's Fine ?? no! what the fuck are you talking about!!#i am tryinggggg to just have fun n read fics your lil “isnt that child endangerement and kinda fucked up?” “no actually they wouldve done i#anyways bla bla bla batman couldnt have stopped them bla bla bla''#is COUNTERPRODUCTIVEEE#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#<- tagging the robins sorry#sorry this just. this topic annoys me so much#...also ''batman couldnt have stopped them/they wouldve done it with or without him'' are literally#just factually incorrect in jason's case. he did not in fact start on his own and the only thing batman wouldve#needed to do to stop him is literally just NOT make him robin BUT- at this point im just beating a dead horse on that topic#w how many times i bring it up lmao#like. in real life you cant just knock a person unconscious for hours with no consequences on them.#but i dont care when it happens in fiction despite being not realistic!! bc its fiction!!!#unless of course the characters out of nowhere do a lil sidequest PSA abt how actually doing that is fine#and completely safe with no risks#yknow??#like if that happened id be annoyed and like no its fucking not fine why are you trying to convince me. just move on and dont bring it up#and I wont bring it up#anyway. yeah these are just some thoughts im having rn sorry its not more coherent and put-together i cant be assed rn lmao
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cosmicaces · 24 days ago
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something something rody has a crush on deku and is scared that it'll affect their friendship if he finds out
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thedeadthree · 2 months ago
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-ˋˏ .·:·. ⊱ 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐋𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐛𝐲 @pavus — day one: 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞.
— 𝐈𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐕𝐀𝐑 . 𝐕𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈 𝐃𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀 . 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐀 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄.
𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐃𝐀𝐒. 𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐎𝐘 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐒.
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— 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (mutuals can opt in/out via 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 <3):
@loriane-elmuerto, @carrionsflower, @auricfog, @girliefailure, @sunsofdawn
@risingsh0t, @griffin-wood, @lilywatt, @full---ofstarlight, @grapecaseschoices
@tommyarashikage, @shadowsofrose, @shadowglens, @weisshaupts, @queennymeria
@deadrlngers, @d-esmond, @courtana, @gothimp, @wlwaerith
@unholymilf, @aezyrraeshh, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @shellibisshe, @florbelles
@celticwoman, @neonshrike, @cloudofbutterflies92, @adelaidedrubman, @carlosoliveiraa
@pinkfey, @spookyrares, @yharnams, @aceghosts, @confidentandgood
@theelderhazelnut, @leviiackrman, @ellierenae, @anoras, @lavampira
@dialdrunk, @full---ofstarlight, @imogenkol
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daisybell-on-a-carousel · 4 months ago
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"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin
#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh#they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice#ive never seen him with barbara#he had no team#in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again#and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown#in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together#and the other is from a short story and never brought up again#alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay#all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin#is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog#jason todd#i feel so bad for him all the time for forever#ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era#and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened#which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all#doylist vs watsonian moment as they say#dc comics#batman comics#and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder#and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room#he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice#i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough#they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them#wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf#of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little#obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when#there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had#anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after
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basketobread · 7 months ago
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What is the inspiration behind your art style?
OOOHHH THIS IS A FUN QUESTION... honestly it's really hard to say but i'd say some of my greatest art inspo's would be...
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Adventure Time! (weird line up of characters i know but the style here is so cute)
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The Venture Bros! (for when i draw non-chibi characters tbh)
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The Devilman manga specifcally!! (I just really like the style and use of linework in it lol)
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And then finally... Osomatsu San. For my more chibi-ish style... I'm not even big on this anymore but I feel like my chibi style was totally influenced by this show specifically LOL
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puhpandas · 6 months ago
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hi mutuals im just curious.
#im a ggy lover myself and would obviously love to see it realized in a game#but i also like gregory as a character more than his semi-canon backstory#and have complicated feelings on if i want them to confirm ggy at all.#i love ggy but dont want it to take screentime away from gregory#who alongside vanessa havent been focused on in years#(ruin was mimic basically the whole time#doesnt count) and need the screentime desperately.#personally#after THIS long (2 and a half years since gregory screentime and over a year since GGYs release)#i cant help but always wonder if theyve just. waited too long and they shouldnt confirm it.#at least just that they shouldnt release something just for the sake of confirming it and just leave it as book knowledge.#if they did focus on ggy in a game i'd want it to serve the plot involving multiple characters and progress slowly#i dont want it to be confirmed then its just background knowledge i would want there to be a plotline of#gregory remembering it throughout the plot of a game and dealing with it.#it'd confirm it then but it'd also still be wholly focused on Gregory alone and also be a natural reveal for people who dont read the books#for me its option 3 i guess. by all means its for sure canon at the moment im just talking about how it would be revealed in a game#or if at all and left as knowledge someone who read the books would know#my idea is wishful thinking we'd never get something that intricate#i can hope though#i could be so cool#but damn theyre just handling the story so strangely rn#pandas.txt#pandas talks#poll#thoughts#pre hw2 dlc#jic
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sereniv · 3 months ago
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Well i think we ALL should be threatening not to vote for Harris if she doesnt call for an arms embargo. Id say ceasfire but lets be real
I think we ALL should be putting our effort into applying pressure on ending a genocide, rather than pressuring people to vote for someone who not only seems to be going back on policies she said she stood for, but is also not proving she will actually do anything on the situation in Palestine
The voting hasnt happened. You can't get mad at people for AT LEAST threatening to not vote for her. Threatening. As in, no one has voted yet. So it's all talk right now.
If people dont end up vote for Harris it will be her own fault. Thats just how it works. What she says, but more importantly what she does, is what makes people vote for her just like any other candidate
we arent even asking that much. At the VERY least, is to stop sending weapons. 1 thing she and biden are capable of doing but have shown having no plans on even considering it.
Now, I dont know what im doing when it comes to voting bc theres a lot that can happen until then. im not thinking of what im going to do, im focused on helping to apply pressure. Ive sent emails and called. But even just talking about it can help.
Yes, if Trump wins it IS worse, beyond Palestine. For the planet, and everyone.
But the fact is that some people will not vote for her. That is a fact.
Another Fact is some people will vote for her only if they feel confident she will actually do something about the genocide.
These are facts. You don't even need a source for that
Why are you wasting your time on people who wont vote, instead of convincing the Hold Voters to vote for Kamala by making Kamala someone they will want to vote for?
WE arent dividing the vote. SHE is.
Worry about the blame game for after the election.
For now, help us get her to agree that the United states will stop sending weapons to Israel and/or keep the halt (of weapons), if by some miracle biden gets something done.
#palestine#israel#kamala harris#donald trump#vote uncommitted#us elections#I am in a MOOD and will block zionists and anyone who annoys me#mostly ill let whatever play out in the comments if anyone sees this#bc i finally fucking get it#i was so scared of projrct 2025. i knew trump was technically worse. but i thought strategically its best vote harris#but then thr dnc came out. and at first i felt hopeful. like really confident. that she is going to win#and though i was mad bc up ubtil this point there wasnt much she has said on gaza that felt worth anything#and just. the fact she didnt let a palestinian american speak a deleget. with a bunch of info popping up#on shit shes going back on like fracking and adding more police and wtvr other stuff i cant think rn#like before that i was still on the fence on some stuff like thr term Blue Maga i thought might be a stretch though ive seen it before#like the 4 more years chant for biden. but after not letting the Palestinian deleget talk was like. it was so fucking crushing#and i heard the speech it would have been perfect all the fucking liberals in that place. like i fucking get it#like i didnt like her before but now like...i see why someone would not want to vote for her even with trump being worse. again idk what ill#do. like shes only a shade different from trump when i look at her. like politically. anyway yeah I get how people will vote means nothing#rn. its not even important. its not. bc if we want people to vote the way we want we need to convince them to vote by making the candidate#worth fucking voting for even in the face of a possible dictatorship. and we arent asking for much. we arent asking to move mountains.#just to at LEAST stop sending weapons
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katvazamo · 7 months ago
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i think the consensus of the watcher situation is that people would pay a subscription service but seeing the content as it is now they cant justify
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hauntingblue · 8 months ago
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making a collection
making another collection with a threatening aura
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#davy back fightbpart 3 letsgo#HOW do the three big guns get wasted on the eating contest... horrible plan.... luffy is fine bc well... but not sanji and zoro like damn.#luffy DOESNT WANNA EAT??? CALL THE NAVY!!!!#what was i saying.... bad idea putting the three beasts there#FRANKY FRANKY FRANKY!!!! they captured the two princesses :(#one sided beef squashed between luffy and foxy. friendship ended with random ex marine guy. now luffy is my best friend#usopp and franky bonding time hell yeah. throw usopp by the head once more pelase#nami with zoros swords just like holding them looks so cool like she should get a few swords too... nami three sword style oda drawing pls#i think this man underestimates nami and luffys power together he doesnt know about shiki#luffy saying he knows its a trap and sorry for being late.... lets go on an adventure all nine of us.... usopp yes anding his lie..... omg#cant believe nami isnt there yet. she could take this guy. oh there she is!!!!! she does look cool with the swords and jumping to get luffy#zoro screaming in agony from luffy getting shot omg THIS FUCKING GUY OF COURSE!!! this looks like its so over#zoro and sanji must feel so useless rn. they didnt even get the chance to fight like damn#komei-kakka??? more like come caca. boom#luffy face down dead on the floor akdjkaa chopper have you tried looking at the wound to see if it harmed him idk#it hit the face akdjskn usopp that was coom also#was robin flirting with the other guy and zoro caught her and she told hum to shut up???#'your friends got the best of me but you are still in my arms an-' 'HEAT EGG!! ALSO YOU'RE ON FIRE!'#flare maneauver that was so slay also luffy and nami in the same frame so twins of them. my children. birthed them one right after the othe#zoro and sanji fighting back to back. back to back to back to you i dont wanna fall right back to us maybe you should run right back to her#that is such a bop song. also post wano zosan. and post wci. see the recurrent theme#fighting in water.... being on top of the sword that was a slay... red hawk ace i will never forget you it seems#foxy liking his jolly roger omg nami fooled him ahdhsjs i think they should have pirate game event every year they yearn for contests#now since this experience foxy should make monthly multitudinary pirate games olympics hoping the strawhats join them a la gatsby#the faces at the mushroom akdhaksjs#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies#kinda loved how robin betted on franky against usopp.... i will take the crumbs
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bunnyboy-juice · 28 days ago
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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freakinator · 8 days ago
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i think the thing about kab that frustrates me the most is that she seems to think shes a lot more helpless than she actually is, always looking for someone to help solve her problems for her even when shes fully capable of doing things on her own but she just doesnt believe she does
first and foremost is clown: why is her go to solution always clown?? mfer hasnt even logged on in months and most likely will not log on until he finishes elden ring which will surely take a while and thats not even mentioning the fact that they arent teammates -- seemingly a moot point considering how close they are but a declaration of intent to team is important on lifesteal cause it essentially signals to the other person "i'll be there for you" and is a big reason why betrayals hurt so damn much because trust is a rare commodity that essentially got stomped on, the fact that clown wont even do that tells me that he feels no obligation to her and its fair to assume that he'll act accordingly. kab seems to think hes reliable and will always be there for her which is fair cause he has been in the past but the thing is he isnt right now, she cant rely on him cause he just simply wont be there for her -- if he was then he wouldve killed mane by now
second is hannah: i'll admit that out of everyone on the server hannah is probably who kab can rely on the most right now and yet despite that hannah 1. has not logged on in a while and 2. prioritizes her own safety over kab's, to the point of essentially abandoning her and taking red's side when team mice had a fallout so despite being one of the two if not the only person who would throw everything away to help kab out, at the end of the day shes only as reliable as her survival instincts would let her be
third is zam: to put it as bluntly as possible, zam has never and will never prioritize kab. his main and only priority is the server itself esp spawn, the only reason he goes out of his way to assist helpless players is cause he wants to keep the server functional and leaving the weaker players who arent willing or arent able to fight back for dead basically ensures that all conflict will eventually stagnate and therefore leaving the server in a state of decay. his oath is not and has never been an arbiter of morality, its more akin to stewardship rather than justice therefore regular conflict such as grudge kills are far too trivial and most importantly normal and necessary for the server to keep functioning and will never make him go out of his way for her. sure she can ask for gear, thats something that he prides himself on and he can be rather generous esp if hes got a surplus of material, but he will never solve her problems for her unless the source of her conflict affects the server itself such as when mane escalated from hunting kab down repeatedly to becoming the main spawn griefer
she needs to learn to be more independent, to take responsibility, to not rely on other ppl so much esp if there isnt mutual trust and willingness to defend each other between them. she can ask for help of course but she cant solely rely on assistance to help solve her conflicts on the server and with her karma thing going on, how does she expect to fulfill all that if she cant even stand on her own feet without a crutch? like its one thing if it was a whole team but shes the sole arbiter, how is she meant to enact revenge for the whole server if she cant even solve her own problems? how is she meant to face off against some of the best pvpers on the server (who dont hesitate to kill weaker players btw) if she cant even spill blood on her own? she can make traps but is she willing to? over and over again? can she deal with the consequences of being a hunter? cause shes not getting off of this scot-free regardless of how morally good her actions are
#mine.txt#analysis#kab#like. idk. i think shes grown far too used to relying on clown for everything and now shes trying to find a substitute now that hes#not here to kill all the problems that she cant lie and manipulate out of for her#like i can understand her being biased towards clown#and honestly i think its funny that its a big part of the reason why all her relationships are crumbling#but the fact that her first solution to complicated/more difficult problems is to get clown??? girl...#it baffles her to see devotions not want to rely on clown cause shes too used to using him as her first resort when things go badly#she thinks its a pride thing and it is but like whats wrong in not wanting help that you dont need?#if someone else is just gonna go and settle all your conflicts for you then whats even the point of logging on in a server like lifesteal??#shes used to arena smps so i suppose she thinks its a viable all around strategy but its really not#not in a server with no real win conditions that you wanna do things in anyway#and devotions do want to do things and they cant do that if clown is doing all the things for them#but i suppose she doesnt see it that way; i suppose she sees him as a safety blanket; one of the few things that she has going for her#but clown *isnt* a safety blanket; hes his own person with his own priorities and wants and needs and he cant always be there for her#esp not rn when hes on his elden ring arc lmao#the only person she and anyone else truly has is themself#like not even devotionduo is there for each other all the time and they love dropping everything to help the other out#but i suppose thats the difference between devotions and killer bunnies#devotions dont see the other as a safety blanket; never have and never will
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