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daitranscripts · 2 months ago

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Cole Conversations

Companion Comments

Cole Masterpost

Dialogue options:

Cassandra [1]

Blackwall [2]

Iron Bull [3]

Dorian [4]

Solas [5]

Vivienne [6]

Varric [7]

Sera [8]

Leliana [9]

Josephine [10]

Cullen [11]

1 - Cassandra

Romanced Cole: Petals fall open as lips shape words that rhyme. Candlelight softens the edges.

Cassandra’s personal quest incomplete Cole: Stomach full of mantras, she burns like a beacon, Faith a flame to bring succor for a Seeker.

Cassandra’s personal quest complete Cole: Faith seeks a friend in Compassion, cautious, careful, too much grey but growing.

2 - Blackwall

Romanced He feels naked without the name on the armor, but now he knows you want him naked.

Blackwall’s personal quest incomplete An old name burns inside armor that shouldn't fit, lit by faces of the children he couldn't save.

Blackwall’s personal quest complete The name breaks free, pulls the pain with it. A black wall to shield the self when the sky is rainier.

3 - Iron Bull

Romanced Tied, but tenderly, loving in the letters of a word that would stop it, knots in satin scarves.

Personal quest active “The,” a joke. He laughs to himself, imagining herds of cattle in fields of iron, but now he worries it fits.

Personal quest complete, made Tal-Vashoth Salt-spray smell of Seheron. Lost in smoke from a burning ship. Guilt at not feeling guiltier.

Personal quest complete, sacrificed the Chargers Copper on the lips. Dalish lies dead-eyed beside me. He'll come, he'll call, he won't leave us. Horns pointing up.

4 - Dorian

Romanced Glittering to gloss a hidden hurt. Unlearning not to hope for more. Stumbling steps where the wall used to be.

Giselle gave letter, have not met Dorian’s father Bright, like the fish that kill you if you eat them. Can't hate you for hiding if you burn so brilliantly.

After meeting Dorian’s father He tried to melt a snowflake because he liked waterfalls. Swallowing bile and pride as he sees his son defend himself.

5 - Solas

Cole’s personal quest complete Voice ringing with fullness from both worlds, guiding me to the shining places. He calls himself Pride.

High approval, other conditions unknown Old pain, shadows forgotten from dreams too real. This side is slow and heavy, but here is what can change.

Personal quest completed Wisdom knows enduring is pain. He hurts for her, another of many he couldn't save. He carries necessary deaths.

6 - Vivienne

Personal quest not started A breath-caught smile from the Enchanter as the candle lights. The walls are safe; she will never be hungry again.

Personal quest completed A cold flame blazes in a robe worth more than children. Protect her, and she consumes you, burning because she can.

7 - Varric

Cole’s personal quest complete Kid, says the stone. Kid, kidding. It would keep me kept with a name, but the cairn can't catch me.

Hawke lives, other conditions unknown He writes words that aren't real, but they are for him, in a quiet place whose stone shape shakes the ground.

Hawke left in the Fade The stone is cracked, split, jagged. The hawk would have been safe if it had stayed, but that isn't what hawks do.

8 - Sera

Romanced Fleet-footed and free, the arrow that caught the miller's sack, but no longer shot alone, aquiver in a quiver.

Cole more human Shite. He's wrong. Dead-eyed crazy, shite. I called him a 'him'. Is he alive, is everything alive, shite. I hate raisins.

Cole more spirit She hurts, but helping hurts more. She sees the strings that pull me, eyes like raisins in a stale cookie.

9 - Leliana

Leliana’s personal quest not started The Left Hand remembers a knife slipped to her in the darkness, and wonders why the flower blooms.

Leliana hardened The Left Hand is harder, faith fallen in folly. It makes the dreams worse, but sends them away faster.

Leliana softened The Left Hand blooms on the bush, remembering the light that shone in her darkness. She knows how to sing again.

10 - Josephine

Romanced Steel flashes, like at the top of the stairs, but this time she knows her voice and it ends with a kiss.

Josephine’s personal quest started She spins, plucking strings, matching wits and words, an admiral who will never send ships of her own.

Josephine’s personal quest complete Ships launch on changing winds. Dizzy sometimes, like the top of the stairs, but sometimes like dancing.

11 - Cullen

Romanced Safe and solid, protecting and proud. He feels like quiet, stronger when you hold him.

Personal quest incomplete, talked about lyrium He is quiet, behind the noise. The little bottle makes him shake, but he tests the chains.

Continued lyrium He sounds right again with the chains in place, but the music makes him sad.

Quit lyrium He sounds new, echoes of laughter on an empty riverbed. Not for sailing, but safer.

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dai #dragon age transcripts #dai transcripts #dragon age dialogue #dai dialogue #long post #cole #good grief this one was a doozy

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gutshift · 4 months ago

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faye banter! faye banter!

COLE: stay. please. HAWKE: are you speaking to me? COLE: i’m not. he wishes he could. HAWKE: i don’t follow. COLE: tears can crack stone. it’s just slow. HAWKE: ah. HAWKE: he’s stronger than that. COLE: he thinks he has to be.

VIVIENNE: champion — HAWKE: don’t. VIVIENNE: hawke, then. HAWKE: it’s not the name i take issue with. it’s you. VIVIENNE: i suppose i should not have expected civility from one like you. HAWKE: you’re right

VARRIC: how many does that make for you, hawke? HAWKE: only one of us keeps track of how many people we kill, varric. VARRIC: i was talking about times the seeker’s glared at you, not kills. HAWKE: ah. HAWKE: twenty - two. that’s only counting today. if present —— CASSANDRA: i was not — HAWKE: twenty - three.

SERA: so you — you’re a blood mage, yeah? HAWKE: yeah. SERA: and people call you a champion? like some kinda hero? HAWKE: some do. not most. SERA: only people callin’ that sorta shite heroic are other blood mages. HAWKE: shame is less than effective on me these days. SERA: pfft. whatever. do what you want. away from me. if present —— VARRIC: watch it, buttercup. SERA: she’s a blood mage! VARRIC: [ sharply ] that’s not all she is.

DORIAN: so. your blood magic. HAWKE: don’t. DORIAN: what? don’t like the prying? i’m just trying to get information. HAWKE: you’re trying to hurt yourself. DORIAN: i’m — what? HAWKE: i hurt myself too much not to see when others do it. if ‘last resort of good men’ has been completed —— HAWKE: i’m sorry, for whoever used blood to hurt you. DORIAN: ah. word travels fast. HAWKE: no. DORIAN: no? HAWKE: i don’t need whatever gossip you think i’ve heard to know what someone damaged by blood magic looks like. don’t ask me about my magic just to hurt yourself hearing the answer. HAWKE: it doesn’t prove that you’re strong. it just makes you a fool.

SOLAS: hawke, i must ask that you — HAWKE: cole told me. i’m being careful. SOLAS: ah. thank you. HAWKE: i’ll keep from going near your spirits. if they’re corrupted, it won’t be by me. SOLAS: and cole? has he reported feeling strangely near you? HAWKE: no. he says he’s too solid for it.

HAWKE: you can stop looking at me like that. THE IRON BULL: i could, sure. HAWKE: believe me when i say that if i wanted you dead, magic or no magic, you would already be dead. THE IRON BULL: who says i’m staring because i think you want me dead? maybe i’m staring because i’m a big fan. HAWKE: so was the arishok. THE IRON BULL: point taken.

BLACKWALL: it might not be an opinion you hear often, but i think that you’re every bit the hero the stories make you out to be. HAWKE: not an opinion i hear often from mundanes, anyway. BLACKWALL: you did everything you could to keep a city safe on your shoulders. you can’t be faulted that it crumbled anyway. BLACKWALL: it’s not right, how much you gave, and how little everyone acts like it mattered. HAWKE: you should have met my mother. BLACKWALL: i take it she agreed? HAWKE: no. no doubt in a few hours she’d have you convinced that i was solely to blame for all that happened. BLACKWALL: surely that’s not true. HAWKE: we could ask her if i hadn’t let her die, so perhaps she was right.

CASSANDRA: champion — VARRIC: watch it, seeker. HAWKE: let her speak. CASSANDRA: i wanted to ask if you had any idea that we were searching for you. while varric kept you hidden. HAWKE: i did. CASSANDRA: and you would have refused, had we found you. HAWKE: yes. i spent my life running from the circles. i wouldn’t let the chantry turn me into its puppet now. CASSANDRA: the inquisitor is hardly a puppet. HAWKE: you wanted a figurehead. and you wanted the rebels to look at me and see a renegade mage working with the chantry, submitted to its laws. because we both know you didn’t want a hedge mage maleficar. CASSANDRA: what we wanted was a leader. HAWKE: then you’re even more foolish than i thought. surely varric told you the story. how well did i lead a damned thing in kirkwall? CASSANDRA: you’ve made your point. HAWKE: good.

#faye : headcanon.#queue.

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sunhalf · 1 year ago

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inquisition - verse faye banter!

VIVIENNE: champion — HAWKE: don’t. VIVIENNE: hawke, then. HAWKE: it’s not the title i take issue with. it’s you. VIVIENNE: i suppose i should not have expected civility from one like you. HAWKE: i suppose you shouldn't have.

SOLAS: hawke, i must ask that you — HAWKE: cole told me. i’m being careful. SOLAS: ah. thank you. HAWKE: i’ll keep my distance. if your spirits are corrupted, it won’t be by me. SOLAS: and cole? has he reported feeling strangely near you? HAWKE: no. he says he’s too solid for it.

BLACKWALL: it might not be an opinion you hear often, but i think that you’re every bit the hero the stories make you out to be. HAWKE: not an opinion i hear often from mundanes, anyway. BLACKWALL: you did everything you could to keep a city safe on your shoulders. you can’t be faulted that it crumbled anyway. BLACKWALL: it’s not right, how much you gave, and how little everyone acts like it mattered. HAWKE: you should have met my mother. BLACKWALL: i’m assuming she agreed? HAWKE: no. no doubt in a few hours she’d have you convinced that i was solely to blame for all that happened. BLACKWALL: surely that’s not true. HAWKE: we could ask her if i hadn’t let her die, so perhaps she was right.

#faye : headcanon.#shes so mean in inquisition but its better than da2 so.

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phylophe · 4 years ago

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I did another full playthrough of Dragon Age (well I still have Trespasser left but I know how it’s gonna go down for my inquisitor). I call this the Footshooter worldstate because while for the Canon worldstate I’d picked characters who I thought would make a good protagonist, these three are mostly just stumbling into things, trying their best, and often shooting themselves in the feet.

Templates by Marian Churchland.

More of each character’s key decisions and notable notes under the cut.

Eryth Surana

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Themes: Freedom. Experience. Fulfilment

Specialisation / Build: Mage - SPIRIT HEALER > Blood Mage

Other significant decisions:

Gave the guard’s lunch to the prisoner at Ostagar

Sacrificed Isolde to go into the Fade herself and free Connor

Brought along Genetivi, preserved the Urn of Sacred Ashes, let Genetivi go back to report to the Chantry

Agitated Ruck to the point that she had to kill him, then told his mother the truth

Helped Burkel form the Chantry in Orzammar

Recommended Dagna to the Circle

[Stone Prisoner] Refused to agree to Kitty’s terms and solve the puzzle, killing Kitty and getting Amalia killed

[Warden’s Keep] Killed Sophia and had Avernus continue his research ethically

Kept Alistair softened, hardened Leliana

Was not betrayed by Zevran when facing off against the Crows in Denerim

Had Alistair duel and execute Loghain

Had Alistair complete the Dark Ritual with Morrigan

Left to travel (with Leliana) after the Landsmeet

Trivia:

She has no memory of life before she was taken in by the Circle.

She belonged to the Libertarian Fraternity in the Circle and was irreverent of the Chantry.

Aside from Leliana, she had the highest approval with Sten of all her companions.

While she had persuasion skills, her emotions and naivete often got the better of her, and ended up escalating many conflicts.

She learned blood magic from Jowan (my headcanon for how she could access the Blood Mage specialisation despite never making a deal with a demon) mostly out of rebellious curiosity.

She hardly used blood magic, but when she was going about Denerim and a group of rogues closed the portcullis behind her and cut her off from her party, she used Blood Wound to kill them all in desperation.

Alistair was the one who got her first kiss, however Leliana was more forward in her advances and ultimately sealed the deal with her.

She was close to allying with Branka, until she mentioned enslaving her people.

She put off going back to the Circle for as long as possible.

She lost against Ser Cauthrien and was imprisoned with Alistair; she decided to break out, and met Morrigan and Leliana on the way.

While she gathered all the evidence and people to speak out against Loghain at the Landsmeet, she got too emotional, and the event devolved into an all-out brawl before the duel was called by Grand Cleric Elemena.

She disliked Anora, but prioritised Alistair’s happiness to remain as a warden and his reluctance to be crowned king.

Despite her distaste for the Circle and her disagreements with Wynne, she had confidence in the senior mage’s abilities and put her in charge of the defence team during the final battle.

She called on the dwarven army for most of the final battle, but had the mages fight by her side against the Archdemon.

Ilya Hawke

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral -> True Neutral

Themes: Survival. Spite. Perseverance

Specialisation / Build: Warrior - REAVER > Warmonger

Other significant decisions:

Worked for the Red Iron mercenaries

Returned the cargo of poison to Martin

Killed Kelder

Matchmade for Aveline and Donnic

Killed Idunna

Sent Feynriel to the Dalish, freed him from the Fade demons, and he went to Tevinter

Gave Ketojan back to the Qunari

Spared Gascard

Of Yevhen’s sons, saved Merin instead of Iwan

Made it clear to Isabela that he intended to return the relic to the Qunari; she ran away and did not return

Killed Javaris

Duelled the Arishok

Told Emile to escape

Did not fight Merrill’s clan, thus they survived

Had Merrill destroy the Eluvian

Had Bartrand killed and did not give Varric the red lyrium shard

Betrayed by and killed Fenris in the final battle

Trivia:

He was aggressive towards most people, but almost always diplomatic and forgiving when it came to family, and often held back his temper with authoritative figures.

While he wasn’t intentionally hostile to his friends, he also didn’t mince words and tended to be brutally honest.

Before Isabela fled, she was his rogue-of-choice for the party.

His closest friend among his companions was Anders, closely followed by Fenris. He had high rivalry with Merrill and moderate rivalry with both Isabela and Aveline.

At the start he would do anything to ensure his and his family’s survival at Kirkwall; once he got comfortable and secure he tried to do better morals-wise.

He stood for mage rights for the sake of Bethany and the freedom he thought she and people like her deserved.

He befriended Alistair on the basis of his looking after Bethany after she became a Warden.

He executed Anders as a mercy-kill. He disapproved of his actions, but was sympathetic of his motives, and would rather his friend dies at his hands than anyone else’s.

He was heavily scarred (his face included) from the final battle at the Gallows, since he no longer had Anders with him, on whom he had heavily relied since the start.

Veika Cadash

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral -> Neutral Good

Themes: Hope. Renewal. Inspiration

Specialisation / Build: Rogue - TEMPEST > Double Daggers

Other significant decisions:

Declared the inquisition be led under her name, but eventually became devout

Upgraded Skyhold with a Chantry garden, a training ring, and a Mage tower

At Theinfal Redoubt, raised the flags in descending order of people, Chantry, Templar

Dissuaded Cullen from continuing to take lyrium

Went the long and diplomatic route to deal with Josephine’s assassins

Retrieved Blackwall the complicated way, using underground connections to avoid bloodshed

Freed Blackwall as Thom Rainier for him to atone

Helped Solas free his friend

Made Cole more human

Saved the Bull’s Chargers thus making Bull Tal-Vashoth

Saw Sutherland’s group succeed and stand on their own

Killed Imshael

Pursued Calpernia through the fissure, thus disrespecting the rituals at the Temple of Mythal and antagonised the guardians

Convinced Calpernia to betray Corypheus

Leliana inspired (softened) and made Divine

[Jaws of Hakkon] Shared the truth about Ameridan

[Trespasser] Freed Ataashi

[Trespasser] Wants to stop Solas

[Trespasser] Inquisition disbanded

Trivia:

She initially had reservations about divine intervention in her circumstances, but gradually became inspired by Andraste, and grew to believe in the Maker’s will.

She was close with Sera, but they grew apart as she became more devout and open-minded about history and beliefs. They broke up over an argument following the events at the Temple of Mythal.

She’s on decent terms with all her companions, but liked Cassandra and Dorian the most.

While she was grateful for her life in the Carta, she saw being the inquisitor as a precious chance for a new life and becoming a better person, and eventually embraced the role and all that it entailed.

She had experience in dabbling with alchemical concoctions even before she took the Tempest specialisation; her hair was bleached as a result of this.

She favoured Leliana’s suggestions at the war table.

She preferred exile and deferral (e.g. referring to precedence, giving Erimond to the Wardens) in judgement.

Initially she led the Inquisition under her own identity, but eventually led by faith.

She allowed Hawke to take the fall for Alistair as that was what Hawke would want, since Alistair watched over his sister and he had otherwise very little left to lose.

She didn’t want nor care to kill all the dragons, as she believed they were there first and people should learn to compromise.

#opheart #dragon age #dragon age origins #dragon age 2 #dragon age inquisition #warden #hawke #inquisitor #eryth #marclai #veika #fanart #warden surana #red hawke #inquisitor cadash

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wootensmith · 4 years ago

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Harellan

He hadn’t sought out the Lavellan clan members who’d arrived before the Inquisitor. He’d longed to, wanted to ask them how she was, what had happened when she came home bare-faced and bringing strange tales with her, how she’d convinced the few of them who came to make the journey on her word alone. But after a brief conversation, the same he had with all new arrivals, he’d let them go and they seemed to be grateful to be out of his line of sight. He resisted prying and left them to Abelas’s care.

Months later, a few days after the Inquisitor had found him, he caught sight of her speaking with a clanmate near the gates of Andruil’s waste. She appeared troubled as the man spoke. When the clansman noticed they were being watched, he said, “I’m sorry, Hahren, I can’t.” He slipped quickly away, hurrying toward the training yards. The Inquisitor looked after her clansmate and then turned and caught sight of Solas standing just beyond the stone owl and smiled uneasily. He met her, feeling he’d accidentally interrupted something vital. He wished only to wipe the discomfort from her mind. “It makes me glad to hear him call you ‘hahren’. You have more than earned their respect,” he said. A bitter laugh burst from her and she shook her head. “He calls me ‘hahren’ because he refuses to use ‘lethallan’ any longer and he’s too frightened to call me ‘harellan’. Especially here. It is not a compliment.”

He watched the man scurrying between the small watchfires for a few moments before he disappeared into the city. “They think you have betrayed them?” “Is it such a surprise, fanor?” she asked gently. “The stories that guided us— our whole history, our place in the world, our hopes for what was to come— they have endured centuries. You tried yourself to change them. What hope did I have of succeeding where you and the world have failed? Deshanna was kinder. She just believed I’d gone mad. The others think the Andrastians sent me to poison them with lies.” She touched her cheek as if to trace the absent vallaslin and then flushed and dropped her hand, embarrassed. “I’m not certain which is worse,” she admitted.

“Ir abelas, Vhenan. I never wanted you to lose them. I wish that you had not told them.” “I had to try. I thought— they were my home, Solas. My family. If anyone in the world should believe me… but I asked too much of them.” He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling the sorrow in her voice like a blow. “What did you want from him? Whatever he refused, perhaps I can do it in his stead.” She shook her head and her eyes filled. “I asked him to send Deshanna a message. To beg them to go to Skyhold until the end. But he does not trust me, even now, even seeing this place and you. For all he calls me hahren, he thinks I mean to harm them. Deshanna sent him to watch me, to shield me from the madness she thought I would succumb to. She told him that what I’d done in the Inquisition obligated them to protect me in my hour of weakness. That is why he came. And he stays because she orders it, not for love of me. I am a traitor, after all. To them. To Sera. To you.” She broke into a sob and fled before he could respond.

He was uncertain how to help. A message to Deshanna was easy enough. Whether she would believe it or the dream he constructed that evening would be another question. But if the Inquisitor’s clansmen would not do it themselves, he would make the attempt. What to do about her loss was something much harder. What betrayal could she possibly believe herself guilty of? She had been a kind and loyal friend to Sera. And to him— she had kept his secrets better than he had kept them himself. Brought him another way. Was trying to save them all. Harellan. How can she think herself so? The eidolon was dark and cold when he returned. He thought her still absent, somewhere in the shattered library or with Abelas in the training yards. But he heard a rustle from the crown before he could leave to search for her. She was in Vhemanen’s small room. It had been emptied when Vhemanen left for Skyhold. Solas had packed everything movable for her himself, wishing the riches of Elgar’nan’s foolish vanity had any use for his friend. It was chilled and barren. The Inquisitor sat on the cold carven tile, staring at the wall. He could just make out the soft sparkle of unlit veilfire, but the lamp sitting beside her was dark. He wanted to offer to light it. To show her what she obviously longed to see, though he had no idea if Vhemanen had left them or someone who was here centuries ago. He folded himself into a seat beside her instead, stared at the shimmer on the wall and wondered what she thought she could see in it. “I sent Deshanna your message,” he said. “I hope she will listen to it. I fear my cousins have already sent her dark rumors of you. She will think you are using me. Or that you, too, are mad. Or both. But perhaps— perhaps she’ll save them somehow.” She didn’t turn to him and he glanced at her. Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. She had been crying a long while. He looked back at the veilfire traces. “If she does not believe the written message, then I will find her in sleep. And each of your clan. Until they believe or flee to Skyhold to stop the dreams. I am sending Loranil to lead them there.” “Thank you. I think. Your method may be— a little harsh, emma lath. But if it brings them to safety— thank you.” He brushed her swollen cheek with his fingertips. “I do not feel like being gentle today,” he admitted. “Not when they dismiss you so easily.” She shook her head a little but did not argue with him. “I admit I can see how it happened, that they think of you as a harellan, as false as that may be. Because it was the same when I tried to tell the clans what they’d forgotten. But Sera? And I? How could either of us believe you betrayed us, Vhenan?” She finally looked at him, the glow of the mark flashing over the veilfire for an instant as she turned and then gone again. “Because all of me is a betrayal. From the very beginning. It was— simpler to ignore in the Inquisition. We were all far from home, from our peoples. Except— except I had the two of you. And it was easy to forget, in my clan, that there were other ways of being. Because I was enough to them. Then. I was right. Dutiful. Part of them. And then I tumbled from the Breach and into the human world.” She rubbed her knee and stared at the wall again. “They’d never want me. The humans. I was a necessary tool for them, and I always will be. For as many statues and parades and treaties they have about me, I’m just a thing. Not theirs. It didn’t matter so much to me, because except for our friends, none of them needed to know me. It wasn’t worth the energy to persuade the Empress or those like her that I was more than the anchor. I do not mean our friends. Cassandra and Dorian, Vivienne and Blackwall— they might not ever understand everything I do or am, but they accept me anyway. Love me anyway. The same for Bull and Varric. But you and Sera— I had to be more. And I failed. Every day, I failed.” “No,” he protested, reaching for her. “Yes. There is no way for me not to fail you both. Sera— wanted me to blend in. Because that’s how she survived. To cut out the parts that struck the City elves and the humans as odd. It was safer that way. The invisible elf is the perfect elf. The invisible elf gets things done. Strikes in the perfect moment. Betters the lives of all the others in quiet leaps when no one is looking. Sera is good at that. But me— everything I know, the way I speak, the paths I choose, the way I move and see and breathe— are not her ways. And no matter how I tried to bend myself into her shape, it was always just a matter of time before I did the wrong thing and the lie fell apart.” He caught her hand in his and pressed it tightly. “Sera loves you anyway, too, you know.” Her eyes filled again. “That makes it worse,” she said. “That I can never be what she wants. Or what you want. That I am and will remain undeserving. And outside. Ever outside.” “Tel vindhru. You are exactly what I want.” “I’m not, though I have tried harder with you than any other. I wanted to be part of you and yours before we even met. All of my clan did. We chased old stories and repeated rituals we did not understand. Because we wanted to be you. But even now, after learning all that I have, it escapes me. I cannot pretend anymore. For a while, when it was just you and I, I thought I might be sufficient. That maybe I could learn enough to get close to what you missed. That I could be your home, even if I was not the same as the family you remembered. But then, when we met the Sentinels— then I knew how very far I was from anything familiar. The way Abelas saw me… I realized it was the same way that you did when we first met. That I was— alien to you. That I would never be…” She trailed off. “Hare—” he cried and stopped himself before he could make a worse mistake. “This is false, Vhenan. I do not wish you to be anything but what you are—” “You did. For a long time. Maybe— maybe you stopped. Or maybe you gave up. I know you loved— love me anyway. But I’m not enough.” She let go of his hand and waved at the wall. “It is always like this. I find only the edge, the shimmer of things. The bare shape of letters and words and stories, but I will never catch their meaning.” He waved his hand and the lamp sputtered to life. “It is only because the world has become so dim and muddled. A little light and—” “No,” she said and her tears began again, glittering in the aqua veilfire. “It doesn’t matter. Because I was raised in the dark. These things you show me, that I dig up— they are corners. Fragments. I’m so far from seeing. You tell me it just takes a little light when I’ve only just realized I don’t even know how to open my eyes. I always feel I am pretending. Play acting. Not real. There will always be this— rift between us that I cannot close. How can I? My life is just a flicker to someone like you. A season. Lost among so many others.” She wiped at her eyes, suddenly drawing herself in again. “But it matters not. There are not many days left to fail you. And you are home, back among your people. More at ease than I’ve ever seen you. That makes me happy.” “You have never failed me.” He turned her face toward him, away from the cold, dead veilfire remnants in the wall. “Never. A flicker? No. If you had been only a flicker, that would have been enough for me to adore you. More than enough. I know my life must seem— terrible and vast to you.” He sighed, pressed his forehead to hers. “At certain periods, it has been. Time— does not move the same for me. There were decades of uselessness. Frustration. Boredom. And then ages asleep, just watching. Uthenera can be what you wish it to. Fantasy. Learning. Oblivion. There were entire centuries that I chose the latter.” He traced the fine web of the anchor at her temple. “I would not lie and tell you that you were my first or only love. There have been others. Just as I know there have been others in your life before me. Though they had many times your number of years, they all fell away. Made their quiet impressions upon my life and then moved on to other lives. They were flickers. None of them made me wish to alter my path the way you have.” She shook her head. “They were on your side. They wouldn’t have wanted you to change.” “They did. A few of them. You told me once, that you would always be on my side—” “I am, I try to be, but I can’t be, not the way you want. If I hadn’t been able to find another way, I couldn’t have joined you, Solas, though it would break my heart.” “Ar eolasa, Vhenan. But what I couldn’t speak then, what I desperately craved, was to be on your side. You are not a flicker. A tree of lightning, a searing comet, perhaps. Something that illuminates the world and lays plain everything that was hidden or wrong. You truly did change everything. I’ve seen eight ages, my love. Civilizations rise and collapse and rise again. Forests dwindle or march across vast plains. You think you aren’t important because of your brevity? I spent all those thousands of years trying to make the world worthy of someone like you. And yet you speak of failure. When all of mine steals your breath, your faith, your clan—” She covered his mouth with her fingertips. “I wish to belong to your people, emma lath,” she whispered, “But without those things you mourn, I would not exist at all.” “I know. I told you, you change everything, even how I think of my past.” He grasped her shoulder. “A rift does not flow in one direction, Vhenan.” He pulled from the anchor and the Veil trembled, slid open. “Solas! This is perilous,” she cried. The Fade slid around them, enveloping Vhemanen’s small room. He could feel the terror pulsing from the Inquisitor. “Have no fear, fanor. The Evanuris sleep still and I can still hold the anchor. I would not bring you here to harm you.” She was not soothed. He released her shoulder to hold her. “Do you remember when we were here together?” he asked. “We were whole, both of us. Not just the way I remembered before the Veil. Utterly whole. Did you not feel it then?” “I— yes, of course. But it was— a moment only.” He shook his head. “Bellanaris. All of my thoughts live inside it. This is our home. This is where we are most real. Soon, your clan will learn the truth of what you told them. Perhaps I am a fool to think the Fade will reveal what has so long remained out of your— our reach. That we will all, at last, be wholly who we should be. That there will be no rift between the people of the waking world or the spirits who inhabit the Fade any longer. But if the breach between us remains, I would leap into it to meet you, Vhenan.” He slid his hand around hers and loosened his control, let her again feel everything. “I cannot replace your family, nor do I wish to. They will want you back sooner than they realize. No matter what happens, you belong with me. How could we not be one people? You are my heart. You belong with me.”

#solas #lavellan #solas x lavellan #dragon age

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another-rogue-trevelyan · 5 years ago

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A thing I wrote featuring Cousland, Hawke, and Trevelyan in a knife throwing contest, feat. Cullenmance

“Commander, Ser...”

“Jim, haven’t you learned not to interrupt me?”

It was a warm, sunny day in Skyhold, and most of its inhabitants were taking full advantage of it. Cullen, however, was deep in a stack of reports, determined to finish them before evening.

“It’s the Champion of Kirkwall, Ser.”

“And what has Hawke done this time?” Cullen asked, not bothering to look up from his work.

“She’s...started a knife throwing contest with her Majesty, the Queen of Ferelden and the Inquisitor.”

Cullen was out the door and down the steps before Jim could gather what had happened. As the Commander crossed the courtyard toward the training grounds, he cursed under his breath. He knew it had been a bad idea to have the three most dangerous women in Thedas under one roof. Especially when all three of them were trained rogues.

A crowd of cheering fans had gathered in the training grounds. As he made his way to the commotion, he couldn’t help but give way to the infectious high spirits that the event had brought to Skyhold. He too was curious, and when he caught the Inquisitor’s eyes, her brief, mischievous grin was enough to win him over fully.

Cullen turned to take in the scene that surrounded him. Varric and the Iron Bull had set up a betting ring to the side, where Cullen observed many of his soldiers lined up to place their bets. Cole sat with them, thrilled with the excitement and happiness. Dorian, Vivienne, and Josephine had perched themselves on the staircase, high enough to see over the crowd. While Dorian and Vivienne expressed mild curiousity, Josephine appeared utterly appalled. Cassandra and Leliana were leaning against the walls, heads close, pointing and discussing the situation. Blackwall and Sera were in the front, cheering just as much as the soldiers, and even Solas had decided to make an appearance, standing a respectable distance away from the commotion.

“What’ll it be, Curly?” Varric asked as Cullen approached their table. “Care to wager some gold on the Herald?”

“I would, but I’m never gambling again.”

“Not even to put some coin on the love of your life?” Cullen blushed furiously.

“She hardly needs my coin to win.” Cullen smiled, knowing that Evelyn actually did have his coin with her - a coin he had given her in one of their rare private moments, which she now wore under her armor on a chain around her neck.

“You’d better hope so, Curly. I’ve taken down my share of demons with both her and Hawke, and this is the stuff my nightmares are made from. As for the Queen, she took down an arch demon with her dog. And she’s a Warden. Even Blackwall seems scared of her. I don’t know how this will end, but I can’t wait to find out.”

Cullen made his way through the crowd, arriving next to Sera and Blackwall. The Queen of Ferelden stood next to the Inquisitor, and he noted that they seemed rather similar. Both had been born into nobility and thrust into chaos, suddenly responsible for the fate of the world. There was an air of regality about the pair of them, who were no strangers to leadership, and the Ferelden and the Free Marcher seemed two sides of the same coin. The only difference, he noted, was that Evelyn had more than enough action in the field as of late, while the Queen appeared to be itching to get back into the thick of things.

Hawke was something else entirely. Raised in Lothering, she had come from humble roots. During Cullen’s time in Kirkwall, he had heard rumors of her working as a smuggler, as poor fortune had struck her family as Ferelden refugees during the Blight. She was a survivor, certainly, but she was also chaos incarnate. What she lacked in poise she made up for in wild energy and sarcastic humor.

Seeing the Hero of Ferelden and the Champion of Kirkwall had done little for his nerves. Both had seen him at his worst, and he wished more than anything he could take back his actions in the Ferelden Circle and in Kirkwall. Both had been gracious in accepting his apologies, but the shame he felt from his former life rose in him whenever he spoke with them.

But then, it started.

The Queen of Ferelden went first, throwing a dagger expertly into the target in front of her. It hit dead center, setting a high bar for her opponants. The other women were not to be discounted, however, and performed with equal accuracy. The targets were moved further away with each passing round. Eventually, even this wasn’t enough, and the Iron Bull stepped in to throw objects into the air for the women to hit, as still targets were too easy.

While the spectacle was certainly entertaining to watch, those who had placed bets would surely be disappointed. The women, it seemed, were equally matched, and after many rounds there was still neither winner nor loser. The event ended in smiles and handshakes, and those who came were even more in awe of the women than they had been before.

“Nothing like throwing some knives to relax after a long week,” Evelyn joked, suddenly appearing at Cullen’s side. The crowd had subsided now, returning to their usual evening activities.

“Beautiful and dangerous,” Cullen said, wrapping an arm around her and pressing a kiss upon her head. “I’m the luckiest man alive.” Evelyn laughed, turning into him and reaching her arms around his neck.

“I’ll be entertaining two beautiful and dangerous Fereldens for dinner this evening. Have any pointers?”

“You won’t have any trouble, but if you can acquire a mabari between now and then, that always helps with Fereldens.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“Have fun, love. And try not to let Hawke start a demon killing contest.”

“But what if I want to start a demon killing contest?”

“As your advisor, I’d have to recommend against it.”

“And as my lover?”

“I would still have to recommend against it.”

“You’re no fun.”

Cullen laughed at her feigned pout. She was an entirely different woman now from the Inquisitor he had just seen hurling knives through the air. He couldn’t imagine the weight she bared, living up to being Andraste’s champion. The real woman was one few got to see, and Cullen was especially pleased that he saw even more of her than anyone else. He gave her all of him in return, and thanked the Maker daily that she wanted him too.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Cullen asked, rubbing his thumb mindlessly across her cheek.

“Actually,” she said, raising her own hand to his, “I’m rather concerned about the hole in your roof. I can’t have my Commander getting sick from sleeping in the cold. It’s my duty to make sure you’re kept healthy and warm. The task is too important to delegate, you see.”

“What would you suggest?” Cullen’s lips were close to hers now as he waited for her response.

“Come to my quarters this evening after dinner?”

“I’ll be there.”

As their lips met, Cullen was sure of two things. The first, was that this was to be the longest dinner he had ever sat through. The next was that he was the luckiest man in the world.

#cuties #dragon age #evelyn trevelyan #cullen x inquisitor #inquisitor trevelyan #trevelyan #cullenmance #cullen rutherford #commander cullen #cousland #the warden #hero of ferelden #hawke #champion of kirkwall #dragon age inquisition #video games #op #mini fic

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anemeraldknight · 4 years ago

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About Duke Cadash, part 2

okay so I know that this is supposed to be like an ask thing from here! butI only have like 3 followers on here, I just finished my second playthrough of Inquisition and I really really wanna talk about my Inquisitor :’)) so we’re doing this

what is your inquisitor’s name & race? - Duke Cadash, surface dwarf

what is their sexual orientation? - bisexual <3

what do they look like? (add screenshots, drawings, descriptions!) - he's a freckly ginger and has bright blue eyes, a very well groomed beard (he at least tries to redo the braids every morning), undercut on on the left side of his head but otherwise longish hair, scarring underneath his right eye and between his brows; he's like muscular and thick at the same time, I don't know a good word for it? but yea :) he's prettyy

how did they feel about being called “the herald of andraste”? - he uses it to his advantage. he doesn't outright deny it to people he doesn't really trust, only those closest to him know his real stance on it. he just takes being called the Herald in stride, doesn't hate it but isn't the biggest fan either

what are their religious beliefs, if they have any? - believes in the Stone because his parents had been cast out from Orzammar and they passed on their beliefs to him as well. he's not super into it though, more like a casual believer.

what is their opinion on the mage/templar war? - supports the mages and even though he can get along with templars if necessary, he often calls them out for their prejudices and bullshit. he believes that the war was inevitable and kind of necessary as well because in his eyes big change usually comes by, sadly, using harsher tactics.

who is your inquisitor’s best friend? - he was suuper close with Blackwall in the beginning because their humor was pretty similar, he was one of the first people he recruited on his own, and they're both pretty close in terms of age as well. however, as Duke grew closer to Dorian, they became best friends instead (and then eventually lovers). I'd say his real best friend is either Cassandra or Solas? because even though he disagrees with both of them quite a lot, they still somehow manage to get on pretty well <33 and they both have been there from the very beginning of this entire journey!! so it makes sense :) also, Duke is suuuuuper loyal, so when he found out about Blackwall :)) he fucking flipped and completely shunned him and never again took him into his party.

who is their rival? - uhhh among the companions? I don't think he really has one...

who is their love interest, if they chose one? do you ship them with anyone else/non-romanceable options? - DORIAN!! <333

warrior, rogue, or mage? - rogue, archer

how do they feel about the dalish? - he feels for them and wants to support them and work together as much as possible. he can see that a lot of them seem arrogant and standoffish on the outside, but he gets why that is, so he just lets them be and tries to work with it.

how do they feel about the qun? - he does not like the qun, to him it seems like a cult. he can also see many similarities between it and the chantry so.

how do they feel about the chantry? - he doesn't like the chantry BUT he does not shun them out loud because he knows that having them support him makes him look good to those who believe in Andraste and such, but also he doesn't wanna take away hope from those who find it in him during such a difficult time (even though he doesn't believe he's chosen in any way)

which demon is most frightening to them? - definitely the nightmare. Duke doesn’t get rattled very easily but that whole thing managed to get underneath his skin. plus! he’s incredibly scared of spiders and the nightmare created to many of them to freak him out, so the entire fade thingy was very hard on my poor Master Cadash :((

did they choose the qun or the chargers in iron bull’s personal quest? why? - the chargers. he didn’t trust the whole thing from the beginning and basically went along with it because he wanted to support the Iron Bull and because he could feel that something fishy was going on. also, even before the whole thing Duke got along with Krem really well, because he has this habit of taking younger people under his wing (exhibit A: Cole) so that’s also what kinda happened with Krem. ALSO! another thing is that Duke id very much against sacrificing lives in order to get something, so even if he hadn’t cared about any of the chargers personally, it would’ve just went against everything he stood for.

when are they the happiest? - when he's exploring the wilderness with his party, probably picking elfroot or iron lol

how do they feel about the mark/the anchor? - it doesn’t really cause him very much pain so he sees it mostly as something that’s just there and helps him deal with this whole mess.

upon first meeting cole, were they afraid of him? - not really? he could tell that he was different but Thedas is full of so much surreal and nonsensical shit that this kid who acts a bit outside of the established rules of the society didn't really faze him. when he first met Cole during the attack on Haven, his first reaction was that “why is this young kid out here??? get him to safety!!!!” but yknow in a way where he could still see that Cole was perfectly capable of pulling his own weight, Duke just worries.

did they use the templars or the mages to close the breach? - mages

what was their court approval like at the winter palace? did they have any fun at all? - the only things that Duke liked during the whole charade was seeing Josephine and Leliana enjoying the whole thing AND getting to dance with Dorian. he got 100 court approval but he hated that everybody kept shitting on him for being a dwarf etc. also dealing with Gaspard, Celene, and Breala was frecking frustrating.

someone is encroaching on their love interest. how do they respond? - idk how to answer this. he knows that Dorian can handle himself but if the situation requires his help then he will get supper angry and protective

what is their favourite weapon? - Duke’s Bayard!! :D this really great bow that he got made

are there any creatures in the wild that they refuse to/are reluctant to kill? why? - nugs because to him they look like a rabbit and an old wrinkly man merged into one. so yea, no. he also doesn’t like killing dragons. the only proper dragon he and his party ever killed was the big one in the hinterlands but Duke didn't feel right about it afterwards so he never went after another again

what is their opinion on blood magic? would they ever use it, if given the chance? - to him blood magic is just a type of magic really but I don't think he'd use it if he were able to

what is their favourite place within playable regions? - interestingly, the hinterlands. it's because he grew up in fereldan is used to that kind of nature

did they feel suspicious of dorian upon first meeting him, because of his tevinter heritage? - a bit, yes, but it quickly faded

as a whole, how do they feel about tevinter + the imperium? - he hates the whole slavery business that they've got going on over there but Dorian manages to convince him that the imperium could be changed so he has hope for it. he doesn't blindly hate every vint he meets.

did they encourage cullen to continue taking lyrium, or to stop? for what reasons? - to stop because even though he’s not very close to Cullen and he has his issues with him, he didn't want him to be dependent of lyrium in order to work to the best of his abilities. because Cullen is in charge of such a huge part of the Inquisition, he needs him to be dependable

does it bother them to sleep in tents when on the road with the inquisition? - nope! Duke loves tracking and yknow finding and looking for stuff out in the wilds so he’s used to that sort of thing since he grew up in a naturey place. he had to spend a lot of nights in similar situations while he was part of the Carta too

are they an optimist, a pessimist, or neutral? - i guess something between an optimist and a neutral? I guess you could call him an optimistic realist. he rarely veers towards pessimism

if varric wrote a book about your inquisitor, how would they feel about that? - he would actively encourage it because it would be fucking hilarious to read

do they get along with vivienne? - nope, he doesn’t even recruit her.

are they afraid of anything specifically? - spiders

what was their reaction to the destruction of haven?

how do they feel about “the game”? - a bunch of nugcrap

are they especially protective of certain inquisition members, even those capable of defending themselves? - even though he knows that all three of them can take care of themselves and he trusts them to do so, he still worries about them the most. Cole, Krem , and scout Harding.

do they like their skyhold pajamas? - he hates the pajamas. but the outfits that he usually wears look superrr fly so he doesn’t mind those one bit

are there any insults they find to be especially offensive? (i.e. “knife ear”/”rabbit” for elves, “oxmen” for qunari, ect.) - I am not sure what insults a dwarf would get in terms of specific words. the fact that people keep making comments about the Inquisitor surprisingly being a dwarf does annoy him though

if varric gave them a nickname, what would it be? - either cherry because of his red hair OR the Archduke :P

do they enjoy being the inquisitor? - yes!! at the beginning, he's more wary of it, which of course makes sense, but even then he's just ready to take on the role of the leader because no one else will do it and he does have the mark so it makes sense for him to do it. as time moves on he grows to really like it! he makes a great leader and he knows it.

#duke cadash #inquisitor cadash #personal #dragon age

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crqstalite · 4 years ago

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after adamant.

ugly little fic that i wrote in the middle of the night a while ago and shared with a friend. post-adamant about my inquisitor trying to rationalize their losses at the fortress and in the fade. nothing’s capitalized, so if that annoys you, this isn’t the little fic for you.

chose not to use warnings? im not quite sure what to use here, so tread lightly.

dragon age inquisition.

she stays strong, after adamant it’s all everyone needs. she sees to the few wardens that had been at the keep, had offered inquisition aid. they thank her thousands of times over, as uneasy as they are.

their senior warden, alistair, won’t meet her eyes. deep brown orbs looking anywhere but at her, even with a smile on his face. he thanks her, quietly. bandages wrapped around his side, muttering that he’d need to get a letter out to the hero of ferelden — tabris.

she leaves him, offering to let leliana find her. to let leliana send the message and get it back to him as soon as possible. he agrees, numbly is when she swings a leg over the elk in the morning, sun peaking over the rise in the distance.

she knows that look that settles in his dark brown eyes, that look that cries it should’ve been me. but she’s sure he knows what he must do now, to lead the wardens properly against corypheus. she thanks him.

he doesn’t say it, but he does respond that hawke’s sacrifice would not be vain. that shatters a part of her, seals her lips all the way back to skyhold. thankfully, marzeyna is lucky enough no one else is in a talkative mood. but they will be, with questions, with reactions, maybe with thinly veiled anger.

she’s not sure if she’s lucky or simply being lied to when varric seems more despondent than furious with her. he simply responds there are letters to write, to bethany, to other friends she’d made in kirkwall. they’d been close. she bites her lip hard enough to draw iron laced blood to keep from crying.

he hugs her.

though he’s not mentioned, marzeyna doesn’t make the request to send a letter to the mage anders. though he will be left in the dark, surely varric would know how close they’d been. the way hawke spoke of him, with a wistful tone laced with uneasiness, she doesn’t want to look into his eyes and tell him she was the reason reyna hawke would not be coming home.

she makes her rounds. to cassandra, to blackwall, to dorian. then to the others who learning of it secondhand, to leliana, who’d been hurt over justinia. to sera, to bull, to vivienne, to solas, who was fascinated about her journey into the fade.

she doesn’t indulge him. any other day, she might’ve, but not today.

marzeyna has to put on a brave face when she’s nearly hit with what she assumes to be a lyrium kit when she visits cullen. to think she’d thought she’d get any miniscule amount of comfort from anyone after her return, she would’ve thought, just maybe, that it would be him. but no, her nerves are shot and she’s terrified and can’t think straight. she hasn’t slept since before adamant, doesn’t even want to think about dreaming in the fade. and yet, she’s able to give cullen the strength he needs to go on.

she wavers. her tiny form struggles to make it back to the war room after the moon has long risen in the sky. working, bent over the war table. they’d head out for the exalted plains in the morning. switch out her ground forces, get to work.

get her mind off the blonde woman that haunted her thoughts these days. piercing storm cloud eyes with dexterity over daggers that she’d never seen before. a determination to save mages from the templars that burned white hot within her, flames licking everyone she met.

her voice never wavering when she’d accepted her fate. a strong nod when she drew her daggers for the last time.

she shoves the knife meant for josephine’s diplomatic mission into the table deeper than she’d intended, grinding it into the table with a groan. her fire red hair falls into her face, her once tight ponytail loosening into a lump of curls at the base of her neck.

magic crackles at her fingertips, papers flying off the desk and fluttering to the floor. lelianna’s secrets, cassandra and solas’ requests, josephine’s agreements, cullen’s reports.

yanking off her gloves in front of the fire in her quarters, she grits her teeth when she can’t yank a swollen finger out of it’s respective sleeve. eyebrows knitting together in frustration, fire climbing her thoughts.

why hadn’t she been quicker? why hadn’t she forced them ahead with magic? she could’ve done something, done anything different. could’ve fade stepped them past the bastard. but no, she hadn’t done any of those things. she’d knowingly sent hawke to her death, not fought alongside her and alistair, but sent her away so she and alistair could get away.

the glove comes off, pain reverberating through her hand in waves. she kicks off her boots, the pair thumping away somewhere in the darkness.

she should be the one in the fade. running for her life, terrified in the darkness of the spiders she saw racing towards her. reliving nightmare after nightmare.

marzeyna was a mage. she could’ve handled it longer before she went mad. reyna was not, she was a young woman from kirkwall. a rogue no less. so stupid, marzeyna should’ve been the one to stay behind. from what little she understood of the tensions between varric and cassandra, hawke could’ve been the inquisitor. hell she probably was supposed to be. or alistair’s love, tabris.

both were older, wiser than she was. with only twenty five years on her, she wonders if some God with a sick sense of humor had decided it should be her. things had only gone wrong when she appeared in haven, half alive and delirious. justinia had died, the mage/templar conflict in the hinterlands that she couldn’t solve, alexius.

then they lost haven. and so many people. the smell of wood burning around her and screams of people being cut down by red templars. her advisors asking for orders, her mind spiraling in a thousand different directions.

she wonders if cullen saw the terrified look in her eyes when he’d spoken to her. saw her fumbling for answers, saw the little girl that had been given too much power, much too soon. had second thoughts about her being the so called herald of andraste. had wondered why he put his faith in her.

marzeyna lavellan. she was a mage. and a dalish elf. two of the most marginalized statuses you could have in thedas, and so many people still looked up to her. asked her what to do, trusted her not to lead them astray.

hawke had trusted her. marzeyna had promised her she’d get her out alive, had promised she’d get her back to bethany. to anders. that they could do this.

she yanks a box, some sort of box, maybe empty off the desk and throws it, chucks it into the wall just off the windows. it crashes, shattering into splinters of oak. then something else holding an ink quill, lighter, easier to throw. that too shatters, ceramic maybe. it’s satisfying almost, anger and regret and everything in between flooding her emotions like a tidal wave. they drown her, choking her when she screams like a caged animal, chucking another small box into the wall. raw magic dances at her fingertips and lights her ablaze, body glowing a gentle white as hot tears slide down her face in rivers.

justinia. maybe. she’s needed her and there was nothing she could do. she failed her.

every single person in haven believed in her. they needed her when corphyeus arrived with his forces.

hawke had believed in her. smiled at her. told her jokes. at first skeptical, as any non andrastian would be. but quickly had become her friend. her first real one that wasn’t asking her what was next all the time. someone she could go to when her advisors were too much that day.

her hands clench into fists in her hair, sobs heavy and heaving as she slides to the floor in a heap against one of the walls. now hawke was gone, and it was all her fault. just like it’d been before. another person who’d gotten killed because of her.

she’d tried to justify her decision. the wardens would need someone to lead them through this possible blight. tabris would need him when she got back with her research into the fake calling.

nothing answers when she thinks about hawke. she can’t justify her death. she was a good person, supported mages to a fault. didn’t seem the type to kick puppies. was friendly to everyone, had a sister, had a friend in varric.

then, why isn’t marzeyna dead?

she has nothing. clan lavellan maybe, but they’d surely replaced her by now, it wasn’t as if she was coming back now. it wasn’t like they were clambering to see her again. she’s a mage, she’s already being persecuted anyway. and it wasn’t as if what she’d started with cullen couldn’t be forgiven. it wasn’t anything serious, he could meet someone else.

sure, she was young. younger than most in the inquisition. but others still had most of their lives ahead of them. she had nothing. no future beyond what lie inside of skyhold.

hugging her knees, the pants legs begin to wet with the fat tears rolling down her cheeks. the anchor was the only thing that made her important, that kept people from actually wanting to get her killed. people put their lives on the line for her. and she couldn’t even return the favor.

her nails dig into her biceps, curling in on her herself as a draft whips into the room. a shiver after the fire chases it away.

then why is she still here? she’s nothing, no one.

and right now, she doesn’t want to be anyone. she doesn’t go to bed that night, reading reports until she can’t. staving off sleep to keep from drifting into the fade against her will. eyes blurring and burning when she dresses herself in the morning, she avoids varric’s gaze following her down the corridor to the war room. josephine follows, rattling off things she doesn’t understand. nobles. treaties. alliances.

lelianna and cullen join them a few minutes later. if they notice her hands shaking, they don’t say anything. a glimmer of concern in cullen’s eyes, josephine outright with the words on her lips, gently biting them back.

she should be dead, she chants when they arrive in the plains, i don’t even have a right to be alive. she should be here, and yet i handed the situation to her like the scared child i am.

it’s the beginning of many restless nights.

#marzeyna lavellan #oc #original character

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merrybandofmurderers · 4 years ago

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hey so forgive me if you've already told me this, but yuo's a blood mage, right? what caused him to turn to blood magic? does he feel guilty about it, considering the stigma surrounding it, or does he say fuck all that jazz? and have there ever been lasting consequences to using blood magic? sorry if that's a lot, thank you ily :)

no no no, i LOVE answering questions!! yes, yuo is a blood mage (and also a battle mage, a pretty good combo imo, but also one that’s hard on his body). he doesn’t really use blood magic a lot, just when he really needs it (and obviously when he’s in the inquisition, he REALLY tries to be discreet, which being a battle mage covers up for).

there’s only a few ppl he openly uses blood magic around at first (solas, cuz he gleans it from their magic convos and won’t out him despite their contentious relationship; cole, cuz he reads yuo’s mind basically; bull, cuz he figures it out and doesn’t judge yuo for it).

SO. the backstory. yuo’s mom died when he was 19, just before he received his vallaslin, which has always weighed heavy on him. his dad died when he was.. 22? i think? (both of them die in skirmishes with humans, which is where his dislike of humans really started). the death of his mom he was able to handle somewhat cuz he had his dad and his sister.

when his dad died, his sister did not handle it well either, so yuo was a mess. at that time is also when he and his sister adopted three young elves who were orphaned. he was desperate for more power to protect his loved ones, so he asked his keeper (newly appointed and his sister’s best friend) for permission to learn blood magic. she was worried what he would do if she denied him, so at the next arlathvhen they found him a hahren to teach him ethical blood magic.

he never expected himself to turn to blood magic, becuz blood magic is not widely accepted among the dalish. but he accepted it becuz he figured it would help him (he ultimately comes to the conclusion that nothing he does can protect his loved ones, but he doesn’t stop using blood magic becuz it does make him stronger.)

around his clan he didnt need to hide it. they understood his grief and trusted him. he only really learned the necessity of discretion when he fell in love with a human apostate and trusted him to teach him blood magic and then was betrayed by him (which is the root of his trust issues).

this didn’t stop him from using blood magic, but he realized how careful he needed to be, and the lasting consequence from that was his trust issues which has definitely impacted him negatively. aside from that, as i said, his combined specs are hard on his body, which have left him with recurring pain as well as needing to treat his scars regularly.

(EDIT: okay so i tried to put a cut here to make it not so long, but apparantly tumblr does not like them anymore so i had to remove it to save the formatting :/ thanks tumblr

EDIT TWO: apparantly removing the cut did NOT save the formatting it just put the cut at the beginning :))))

i talked a bit about about the effects of his specializations here, and i talked about his blood magic and grief allowing him to relate to alexius here.

dorian, sera, and blackwall find out about his blood magic during the reclaiming of suledin keep. they agree to keep his secret but it’s a rough process of acceptance for all of them, especially dorian.

these are some excerpts of the confrontations dorian and yuo have about yuo lying about his blood magic

“Have you ever used blood magic on me?”

Dorian hates himself for asking. He hates himself because he knows the answer will be no, it must be. He asks anyway.

Lavellan stays quiet so long, Dorian starts to hate him more than he hates himself. Dread and genuine fear coil in his gut.

“Once. Only once. In Coracavus, when that darkspawn hit you. Dorian, I was afraid you were going to get the Blight. I couldn’t—” He stops, breathes. “That was the only time. Just, to stop the bleeding, keep it clean. Nothing more than I do for myself.”

“I don’t understand why you think you need it. You’re powerful enough already—”

“No, I’m not, Dorian. Don’t you understand? I’m not powerful enough—I’ll never be powerful enough. And I have to remember that, I have to remember… nothing will ever be enough. I have to hold onto that every time some fucking demon thinks it can use me by promising to give me what I want. When a demon promises to give me back my parents, to protect my sister, my clan, to save everyone I care about, to keep everything I have—I need to remember that it’s not enough. I have to accept that. Because if I believe—if I hope—for even a moment that there might be some power capable of that—of restoring what’s lost, preserving what I have—I won’t be able to fight them. I have to know it, that no power will ever be enough; I’ll never be enough.”

and here is when yuo ultimately tells dorian the story behind his using blood magic

Dorian sat next to him on the battlements. “Who was it? That you were wrong about?”

Lavellan was silent for a long moment, then, “His name was Rory. He was an apostate.”

“A human.”

“Yes, human. He wasn’t the first I’d been with, though. He wasn’t special… in that way. That wasn’t… a red flag for me. Then. It’s—” He sighed.

“Let me start from the beginning. My mother died when I was nineteen, just before I received my vallaslin, my father when I was twenty-two. My mother’s death, I managed well enough. But when my father died… Anavi didn’t know how to deal with it either. She… closed off. And it was hard to be around her because she reminded me so much of them. She looked just like him but acted just like our mother. It was a mess, we both were, but especially me. I didn’t have anything to—to tether me. I was so desperate. Every night I had these horrific dreams of losing her.

“What I wanted was power. That’s what everyone wants when it comes to blood magic, isn’t it? The power? To protect my sister, my remaining family, my clan, I decided I needed more power. But I was going to do it right. So, I went to our Keeper and asked permission to learn blood magic. Our Keeper by that time was my sister’s closest friend and knew me well. She knew I wouldn’t disobey her if she forbade it, but I needed something to hold on to, and if she didn’t give this to me, she was afraid of what could happen to me. What I would do.

“That year, there was an Arlathvhen. My Keeper found a hahren for me to learn blood magic from. I told you it is not widely accepted amongst the Dalish, but it does happen. So, I lived with this hahren’s clan for a time to learn from them. It got me some space from my sister, from the grief. And they gave me the instruction I needed. The power I wanted, but still drawn from our beliefs. It would have been so easy for me to get twisted, but my hahren guided me, showed me what to do. They reminded me what my magic was for, kept my head on straight. A few years later, I returned to my clan—sooner than I meant to, sooner than perhaps I should have, but another of the clan had died; I needed to be with them, so I went.

“That winter we settled near a village, and that’s where I met Rory.”

Lavellan was silent for a long time, staring into nothing. Dorian sat quietly, watching his somber profile.

“Rory wasn’t special,” he finally continued, “he wasn’t different. He was easy to fall in love with, and I did, and more than that, I trusted him. I didn’t hide my blood magic from him, and he asked me to teach him. I’d already been showing him some magic; he hadn’t really had anyone to learn from. I never thought his questions or intentions were strange or sinister. To me, blood magic was just magic you had to be a little more careful with. So, I taught him.

“Well, the Templars caught him. I don’t know what he did, I don’t know if he actually used blood magic—or any magic—in front of them, if they just suspected, or what. I don’t know if he hurt someone, I just know that they found him, and the reason I know that is because he sold me out to them.”

He sneered. “He told them I had seduced him, bewitched him, used my magic on him, whatever. I’d tricked him into it, coerced him, forced him to use blood magic. All the words that meant he couldn’t be culpable. My clan had been there for several months, and our welcome was already wearing thin. I don’t know if he mentioned them specifically or if it was just me, but the Templars, of course, wouldn’t be taking chances.

“No one died, no one was hurt, but we had to leave, unprepared. And I don’t know what happened to him. All I know is that I loved someone and trusted them, and it turned out I was wrong, and because of that everything I ever cared about protecting almost…”

His hands clasped together, white knuckled. “So, this time the stakes are a lot fucking higher, aren’t they? I’m not going to compare the two of you, because there isn’t any comparison to be had. I was younger then, and eager to be in love with him, and I fought for so long to not feel for you the way I do, but still I love you more than I thought I’d ever love anyone, and once you earned it, my trust in you has never wavered—and that’s why I won’t hate you if you decide you can’t accept this, or—or forgive me, or move on, because you deserved to know and I didn’t tell you.

“Creators, Dorian, if it were just me, I wouldn’t have thought for a second about it. But in this position, it’s not just me—it never was, but he really fucking drove that home for me. My people will always come first, because no matter what, they’re a part of me. I will never be just me; I will always be Dalish. My people will always be there, and I will always have to care about them. However much more love and trust I had for you, the fear was even greater, and I couldn’t—Dorian, I almost lost them, and it was my fault because I was wrong about someone I loved, and I couldn’t take that risk again, I couldn’t. And that’s all I can say for myself, is that I was afraid.”

(please forgive any typos, these are first drafts u.u)

#ask #mrs theirin #oc: yuo lavellan #thank u i love talking about my babe u.u #any more questions about him or other ocs i will gladly answer #oc stuff #fic: the time has come

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ollifree · 4 years ago

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Found an Inquisitor-as-Companions ask sheet so I’m filling these out for Kendra/Darrell in the multi protags au

1. If not for the Conclave, what would drive your character to join the Inquisition?

They both joined because they were at the Conclave and honestly? I can’t see them joining if they weren’t. Much like in the other worldstates were they aren’t Inquisitor, Mami Trevelyan got a firm lockdown on her children after the sky literally exploded. Oh wait, did I say they both joined because they were at the Conclave? That’s a lie. Darrell joined because he was at the Conclave. Kendra joined because Darrell did.

2. How would they meet the Inquisitor?

Kendra met her (Fanari Lavellan, I’m using my own Inquisitor but I’m writing this to fit any Inquisitor) first, in the same cutscene as Varric and Solas. Fanari chose to take the mountain path rather than go with the soldiers (and got her first Kendra Greatly Approves boost). Darrell was one of the soldiers stranded up on the mountain top.

3. What would some of their cutscenes look like?

One of the caveats of their cutscenes is that both of them are always present until Trespasser; at least at the start if not for the whole thing. During the first Trespasser scenes they’re apart because they’re having a spat about Darrell going to Tevinter with Dorian. (Kendra’s having a spat. Darrell’s having a headache.)

Their first cutscene (excluding their introductions) takes place in Haven. They’re found speaking with Josephine about the memorial being planned for those who died or went missing in the Conclave: a reading of names followed by lighting a pyre. Both are insisting that if the memorial’s ready to go but they’re out of Haven on Inquisition business, don’t stop on their account. Josephine starts to argue, but Fanari, out looking for Josephine to let her know her expertise is needed, interrupts. Kendra stalks off shortly after Josephine leaves.

Fanari asks Darrell what the argument was about. He tells her that he and Kendra weren’t the only Trevelyans at the Conclave, but they were the only ones to come out of it. “It’s been hard letting the family know, but it’s helped us. Going to the memorial would just be reopening the wounds, now.” Darrell turns the conversation on Fanari, asking if she wants something different to or happening with the pyre. Cutscene goes into approval/disapproval dialogue focused on faith and grief, with Darrell showing understanding to Fanari and approving of open-mindedness for people processing those things differently.

A follow-up conversation with Kendra can occur: also used as an approval dialogue. Hers is focused on the immediate fallout of the failed Conclave. Approval is gained by sympathizing with her but not pressing her on her personal losses, and her main concerns are shown to be for those not at the Conclave who had their lives upended by the Breach.

Their second cutscene takes place in Skyhold the first time speaking to one of them there before it’s restored. Fanari comments on not knowing which parts of the castle would be best suited to what. Kendra points at she and Darrell are noble, and can make a solid guess at whatever they’re not directly familiar with. They grab Cassandra and Dorian (for the same reasons) and the group sets off to explore. It’s used as an introductory tour of Skyhold for the player and as such enough time is spent in each area to inform them what will be there.

Kendra opens one door, goes in, and immediately leaves with a “Nope.” Darrell pokes his head into the room and declares it a broom closet, but advises they’ll want to get someone up here to take care of the spiders. There’s no dialogue tree for approval, but Fanari can gain some from both of them by making humorous suggestions for what areas the player decides (gardens, tower, courtyard) might be used for.

The third cutscene happens after Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts. The Inquisitor walks up on the two as they’re discussing the outcome of the quest. Their reactions vary on which outcome happened (Celine died and Gaspard’s a puppet ruler to Briala in Fanari’s worldstate. Tragic) but generally Kendra’s content with any outcome while Darrell has concerns dependent on which leader’s in charge. More separate approval dialogue trees happen: Darrell gives approval by acknowledging his concerns and stating that for the time being the Inquisition can at least keep an eye on things; Kendra gives approval to an Inquisitor who also enjoyed The Game and comments on how Orlais’ leader can be used to the Inquisition’s benefit.

The fourth happens after Here Lies the Abyss. Both twins are rather subdued as Maria, one of the Hawke twins, remained behind in the Fade to make time for Fanari to escape after Gareth had already landed back in the physical world. It’s a short scene, but the Inquisitor can get a Greatly Approves from each of them by saying “At least we’ve still got you two,” even if their reactions are still on the quiet side.

The fifth cutscene takes place after the Inquisitor drinks (or doesn’t drink) from the Well of Sorrows. Darrell excuses himself shortly after Fanari arrives. Kendra checks with her that she’s feeling okay after drinking from the Well. Kendra’s approval doesn’t dip in this conversation, and she reaffirms at the end of it that if Fanari starts feeling any effects to come find her.

An Inquisitor who drank from the Well can gain approval back from Darrell in his conversation by recognizing his worry and concerns for them. He ends the dialogue by confirming that he is worried for them first and foremost, but acknowledges that they were strapped for options at the time.

Both twins will ask Fanari about her reaction to the temple of Mythal, although no approval/disapproval is gained from how she answers. No, I don’t know how this goes for an Inquistor who didn’t drink from the Well. Write your own AU. For my characters.

Once both twins hit max approval a bonus cutscene is obtained. Fanari finds them out on the training ground in the courtyard sparring together with staves. Fanari asks why they don’t use the weapons out in the field. Darrell explains that they’re not much use against demons and mages, but it’s good to keep in shape. Cassandra approaches, curious about why they’re using Nevarran weapons. “Because we’re half Nevarran,” Darrell explains.

Cassandra stutters over this new information, because surely she’d know. Kendra points out a few facts for her: mainly that they’re the only two of the Inquisition who pronounce Cassandra’s name correctly (a subtle breath variation between syllables), their wording on a few phrases is a literal translation from the phrase in Nevarran, and neither of them eat beef. She drags Darrell back to training with a parting, “You’re a Seeker it’s your job to notice things.”

4. What would their romance route look like? Would they be romanceable?

Theoretically yes, both are romanceable by either gender. Fanari, however, is not romantically interested in humans.

5. If they romanced someone as Inquisitor, would they still fall for that person as a companion? How would that play out? How would they react to that person being romanced by the “new” Inquisitor?

They both do follow their romance paths with Iron Bull (Kendra) and Dorian (Darrell). They play out roughly in the same manner as they do when they’re Inquisitor. They’d both be sore over losing their prospective LIs to the Inquisitor if far enough along a romance path, but would recognize there’s bigger things to worry about.

6. Write some of their party banter.

Kendra

(On reaching the Crossroads in the Hinterlands for the first time) Kendra: Hm. Solas: Is something the matter, Lady Trevelyan? Kendra: I’m not sure if I was expecting things to be worse. Solas: We must do what we can.

Dorian: How many sisters do you have, Kendra? Kendra: Who’s asking? Dorian: Your brother was telling me his nose broke— Kendra: Oh, because of Cloud Dancer? That was me. Dorian: (laughter)

Vivienne: Are things well with your family, darling? Kendra: Well enough. Vivienne: I don’t mean to pry, dear. Just to remind you not all things are terrible. Kendra: ...Thanks.

Sera: Sun. Heat. Wind. Kendra: I’m too tired for lists. Sera: Grump.

Cole: (Darrell not in party) He misses you. Kendra: (grunt)

Kendra: I’ve heard you’re writing a book. Varric: Don’t get yourself into a tizzy. I know to keep my pen away from you.

(After Blackwall’s personal quest) Kendra: Welcome back. Blackwall: Oh. You’re speaking to me? Kendra: Long enough to tell you to stop coming to drink nights.

Iron Bull: Look at these footprints. (groan) They’re so tangled up I can’t tell how many there were. Kendra: At least a dozen. They straighten a little way out. Fanari: Do we know how recently they were here? Kendra: Rain fucks it up, but it can’t have been more than an hour. Iron Bull: They wanted this place bad. Might still be nearby. Darrell: (if in party) Well. I feel safe.

Cassandra: But, your family is so widespread there’s a Trevelyan in every Chantry. How can you not believe...? Kendra: Easier than getting you to shut up about it.

(Overheard when in the library after What Pride Had Wrought) Kendra: Have time for a question? Solas: Of course. Kendra: (hissed) Fuck’s wrong with you?

Darrell

Solas: This once was a place of learning for my people. Now even the ruins have turned to dust. Darrell: I’m sorry. Would it be possible to see it as it was? In your sleep, I mean? Solas: I think so. Our current task is more important, however.

Dorian: Sure, take Dorian along. It’s not like he hates the damp. Or the chill. Or the wildlife. Darrell: Would you have rather been kept back at camp? Dorian: It would be much more romantic to be weeping over a corpse than being wept over.

Darrell: Are you alright, Vivienne? Vivienne: Yes, thank you. Darrell: You’re sure? Vivinne: It will take more than an apostate to do me in, dear, but I am grateful for your concern.

Sera: You and Dorian, eh? Darrell: I think so. Sera: Good.

Darrell: I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say my thoughts, Cole. Cole: I do. Sometimes. But, right after, I have to stop. She doesn’t like me to hear her. Darrell: Hearing me...makes you hear her? Cole: Yes. You’re happy!

Varric: Mind if I ask your thoughts on some things? Historical books are better with different perspectives. Darrell: You’re doing a historical novel? Varric: Not a novel per-say. More a bibliographical. On all this. Darrell: Can I give you a warning? Varric: For what? Darrell: My sister might come for you just for including her name. Varric: Noted.

Blackwall: Impressive how you turn your blade into a shield when we fight. Darrell: Oh, thank you. Blackwall: That wears it out a bit faster, doesn’t it? Darrell: The blacksmiths know my name, yeah. Blackwall: I was thinking. If we fought closer together, I may be able to take an arm off before they can strike. Darrell: Depends on where you stand. Otherwise Kendra might hit you.

Iron Bull: You know, a few drinks might loosen you up a little. Why not join us next time? Darrell: When’s next time? Iron Bull: If we’re unlucky, back at Skyhold. Darrell: And if we’re lucky? Iron Bull: Next group we bust has a cask on ‘em. Darrell: (laughter)

Cassandra: I have heard one of your siblings was a templar? Darrell: Two were. A brother and a sister. Cassandra: Has there been any news since...? Darrell: No. Cassandra: I'm sorry.

(During Trespasser) Darrell: Did Kendra and I tell you we were in Kirkwall recently? Varric: No! Both of you at once? I’d have bet money! What’d you think? Darrell: Bit of a shithole. Kendra: (if in party) Bit of a shithole. Varric: (laughter) Bit of a shithole.

7. What would be on their tombstone in the Fade?

Darrell’s is drowning. “Oh because of the metaphor of being weighed down by responsibility and sinking into helplessness?” “No I literally cannot swim.”

Kendra’s is betrayal. Though, she hides it and says it’s spiders. Like the form the nightmares take for her, or the giant ones they kill every Thursday that she screams during.

(Fanari’s is loss. Loss of those important to her, loss of her identity to humans who will try to rewrite her in history, loss of her autonomy to being the figurehead of the Inquisition.)

8. What kind of Inquisitor would drive them to leave the Inquisition/confront them about their actions?

Both Kendra and Darrell would confront an Inquisitor whose underlying motivations are cruel. They can both understand the difficulty of making a hard decision and going with the unpopular option, but there’s a difference between doing it because it needs to be done and doing it to see someone suffer. Unlike the bonus cutscene, you’d only need one of them at minimal approval. The one would take the other with them. You either have them as a pair or you don’t have them at all.

9. Where in Skyhold would they be found?

Kendra has a workshop set up in the rooms above Skyhold’s garden where she mixes poisons and Tempest flasks. It’s a tidy-ish room with a desk on one side and a large Do Not Touch plant on the other. There’s a few crates lying around along with a few stacks of paper here and there. Outside of gameplay mechanics, if she’s not there then she’s at the tavern.

Darrell has a sparse room comprised of bed, desk, and music stand. He’s generally found out in the courtyard by the training field.

10. If Inquisition operated like DA:O, what would their gift items be? What would their approval and disapproval Feast Day items be?

Darrell likes books and small trinkets. His approval Feast Day item would be a violin, and his disapproval item would be the sheet music to a score infamous for being the worst composition ever put to paper.

Kendra likes practical gifts: a whetstone, maps, candles. Her approval item would be a rune-enchanted blade and her disapproval item would be anything overtly having to do with the Maker or the Chantry.

11. How would they grow as a person? How would they compare at the end of the Inquisition as a companion to who they were as the Inquisitor?

Kendra’s biggest difference is that she’s quicker to trust other members of the Inquisition when she’s a companion. It still takes time, but she mellows out fairly quickly with other party members after getting to Skyhold.

Darrell becomes more decisive in his actions throughout the game, though he remains empathetic to others and to different sides of an argument.

12. Do they believe the Herald of Andraste is really the Herald of Andraste?

Kendra doesn’t believe in the Maker or Andraste, so that’s a big fat no from her. Darrell believes Fanari when she says she isn’t the Herald.

13. If the Herald didn’t have them tag along to prep the trebuchets, what would they do during the battle for Haven? (bonus: would they join in on the impromptu Dawn Will Come choir practice in the camp?)

Kendra made herself part of the group prepping the trebuchets. She’s part of the action from the get-go. Darrell would be helping others evacuate.

The Dawn Will Come choir doesn’t happen in Fanar’s canon. She cuts Mother Giselle off partway through her speech and gets up to start organizing people so they have something to do to take their minds off the situation and get them out of it sooner. Fanari knows how to booster moral by showing steady and knowing leadership, so that’s what she does.

14. What nickname does Varric give them?

Kendra’s nickname for when she’s a companion is Knives, though tbh I’m thinking of just making it her Inquisitor nickname Junebug. So that’ll probably happen. Darrell gets Smiles, and Fanari is Starshine.

15. Without the influence of their decisions for the Inquisition, which of the companions do they get along with? Which ones do they bicker with?

Darrell and Sera butt heads at first, but they’re on friendly terms less than halfway through the game. The party members he best gets along with are Dorian, Cassandra, Vivienne, and Varric.

The only companions Kendra doesn’t get along with are Cassandra and Blackwall, after his personal quest. She does have polite conversations with Cassandra, but even in Trespasser their conversations aren’t overtly friendly. The party members she’s on best terms with are Iron Bull, Solas, Sera, and Vivienne.

Frictions arise between both of them and Solas post Solas breaking things off with Fanari.

16. What would the Fear Demon say to them in the Fade to try and discourage them?

For both it’s them losing each other or more members of their family. Darrell’s response is “I was beginning to feel left out,” while Kendra’s is “Can you tell how hard I’m thinking about killing you?”

17. Where do they hang out in the Winter Palace? What’s their thoughts on the nobles/The Game?

Both of them hang out on the opposite side of the balcony where you find Josephine. If asked, the offer advice about who to speak to and when. Ambient dialogue can be heard from various nobles about them, with approval of them as individuals going up through the night regardless of the Inquisitor’s standing.

Kendra lives for The Game. It’s putting everything she does daily (mistrusting, misdirecting, manipulating) all in one spot with new people who don’t know how she operates.

Darrell’s more ambivalent about it, what with the backstabbing and the distrust, but he’s still good at it. He has a charm about him that makes people believe his sincerity and he knows when to obfuscate an answer without the other party feeling left wanting.

18. What’s their reaction to a dragon showing up?

Both of them have an initial reaction of Fuck, though Kendra follows it with “Guess we have to fight it now,” while Darrell’s more in the “We really don’t” camp.

19. Once Corypheus is beaten, what do they do during the party? Do they stay with the Inquisition, or go somewhere else? What could the Inquisitor do to convince them to stay?

Both of them are near one of the fires in Skyhold’s judgement hall. Again, they’re a package deal, and Kendra will tell the Inquisitor that since Darrell wants to stay she’ll stick around. “Besides, the world’s not ending anymore. Might be nice to breathe for a bit. Thanks for that.”

20. How do they react to learning abominations can retain their consciousness and identity, and even live peacefully with their spirits/demons, as seen in Stone-Bear Hold?

Kendra’s intrigued. She’ll ask questions even if the Inquisitor doesn’t. Darrell’s a tad more cautious, but checks himself. They’re respectful that this isn’t a similar culture to theirs and that they have no say in how these people live their lives.

21. What do they think of the discoveries made in the Deep Roads? Do they make any comments on anything?

They both hate the Deep Roads and they’re sorry for suggesting they go there. Send word to the Shaperate about what we found and let’s go. Next time a boyfriend dumps you we’ll take you to an opera.

22. If you have another Inquisitor, how would those two get along, specifically?

Both of them see Fanari and go “that’s a whole-ass child”. Throughout the game Fanari’s unofficially adopted as a little sister. Fanari’s a tad closer to Kendra at the end of the day, but she does care deeply for both of them.

23. In Trespasser, what “gift” would they give the Inquisitor, if any?

They’re a bit too wrapped up in personal drama to have planned anything for Fanari. Though they’re both the most dedicated in getting her to the end of the DLC once her imminent death becomes known. Yeah, the mark might go off again and destroy everything in a ten-foot radius, but Fanari needs help standing upright so guess what they’re gonna do.

24. What are their plans for after the Exalted Council? Will the Inquisition staying in tact or being disbanded make a difference?

Fanari wrote the members of the Inquisition before the Exalted Council to say, paraphrased, “Inquisition’s over pack your shit and leave.” Kendra’s looking forward to going home to Ostwick, while Darrell’s going to Tevinter with Dorian.

Their squabbling over this becomes so bad Dorian confesses to Fanari he’s considered asking Darrell to stay in the south. “Gods, you are an only child,” Fanari says. Those of us with siblings, we know the tone. Maybe you without siblings do too I don’t know your life.

25. In the alternate reality, if they were corrupted with lyrium, how do they act? What’s their attitude about the end of the world/their inevitable death?

To be completely transparent this is the scenario that solidifies Fanari as Inquisitor over Kendra in the worldstate for me.

After Fanari and Dorian got yeeted forward in time, Darrell was killed in the following fight and Kendra imprisoned until Fanari and Dorian found her. What did she do for that year? Teach herself to become a templar using the red lyrium. By the time she’s released, her entire drive is focused on killing Alexius. She knows she’ll die soon, and she wants to take as many people with her as she can. “They’re going to find out what a mistake it was leaving a Trevelyan in a room full of lyrium.”

#dragon age #olli writes #kendra trevelyan #darrell trevelyan #fanari lavellan #rey i found this on your blog don't ask what i was doing that far back #(i was scrolling ur lavellan stuff)

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lastbled · 4 years ago

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banter ---

BLACKWALL: it might not be an opinion you hear often, but i think that you’re every bit the hero the stories make you out to be. HAWKE: not an opinion i hear often from mundanes, anyway. BLACKWALL: you did everything you could to keep a city safe on your shoulders. you can’t be faulted that it crumbled anyway. BLACKWALL: it’s not right, how much you gave, and how little everyone acts like it mattered. HAWKE: you should have met my mother. BLACKWALL: i’m assuming she agreed? HAWKE: no. no doubt in a few hours she’d have you convinced that i was solely to blame for all that happened. BLACKWALL: surely that’s not true. HAWKE: we could ask her if i hadn’t let her die, so perhaps she was right.

#headcanon.#cass im so sorry u had 2 find out the hard way that ur crush on hawke is absolutely unearned #this is from ye olde blog....im gonna be reblogging / reposting some of my old hcs over the course of the next few days #queueing em up

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patricianandclerk · 5 years ago

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Penance

My Ask | My Ko-Fi | My Ao3 | Dragon Age Discord | Requests always welcome!

The first time Dorian kissed him, it was a traditional Tevene apology, one that Solas had not ever witnessed except in the Fade. He caught Solas by surprise on the stair, catching at his hand before he could walk higher, and fell to his knees a few steps down from him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, in the common tongue, staring up at him, and Solas froze in surprise, his lips parting, too surprised to tug his hand away. Dorian’s gaze was concentrated and earnest, his eyes wide, even as he grabbed for Solas’ other hand, clutching at them both and holding them together. Solas knew what he was sorry for. Solas had scarcely spoken a word to him in the field, after he had made his comment about finding common ground. “About my comments before, Solas, I only—"

“Get up,” Solas said, remembering a time when people too often prostrated themselves on their knees before him, feeling indignant, discomfited heat rise in his cheeks. There was a Solas, long ago, arrogant and tall and biting, who might have delighted at having an earnest noble supplicating on his knees, begging forgiveness.

That was a Solas long dead.

“Me poenitet,” Dorian said. “I’m sorry.” Dorian pressed his mouth to the place where the backs of Solas’ hands met, kissing the two knuckles of his index fingers, and Solas swore, dragging back his hands. Dorian kept a grip on him only for a second before he released him.

“You embarrass yourself,” Solas said.

“I already did that,” Dorian murmured. “Can’t this be my penance?”

Solas turned away from him, and made his way up the stairs.

The second time was over research.

They had been settled together in the library for some time, doing their best to work through the translation of a complicated mathematical cipher. It kept referencing other equations, ones that Dorian recognised at a glance, as carefully studied as they were by Tevinter mages, but he kept handing the actual mathematical work back to Solas.

“Felix is a supremely gifted mathematician,” he said, almost absently. “He could never do magic, but he made a magic all of his own with numbers. I never had the head for it.”

“You were close with him, then?” Solas asked, glancing up from his work, and Dorian nodded his head. He was sitting very close to Solas, the two of them at one end of the desk, a half-dozen books open in front of him. Solas could smell his sultry, sandalwood cologne.

“He was always so kind to me,” Dorian murmured. “By all rights, perhaps he ought have been angry or jealous, the usurper taking up the education he would have had himself, had he only had magic… He never seemed to resent sharing his father with me.”

“You saw him as a father figure, then?” Solas asked, unable to resist his own curiosity.

Dorian met his gaze. “No,” he said.

The silence was thick with tension, building between the two of them as though it were stoked on by the magic either of them had, and when Dorian leaned forward, Solas did not pull away, did not lean back. He stood his ground, and when Dorian closed the gap between them and kissed him on the mouth, he felt his eyes shut.

Dorian’s mouth was warm, soft. Solas tasted the wine they were sharing on his lips.

“Do you think me so awful?” Dorian asked.

“I don’t believe I have ever called you awful,” Solas replied.

The third time Dorian pulled him into the alcove of one of the downstairs corridors, shoved Solas up against the wall and pressed kisses to his face: Solas’ nose, his brow, his cheeks, his chin. Solas couldn’t help the ticklish laughter that erupted from his throat, catching Dorian by the shoulders, his thumbs against the base of his throat, pinning him to the other wall.

“What are you doing?” Solas asked, through a hurried exhale. His skin felt hot, and he fought the desire to press his body to Dorian’s.

“It’s rather difficult to explain,” Dorian purred, smiling. He had such white teeth. “Mind if I show you, instead?”

“I have work to do.”

“So do I!”

“This is work?”

“My hard day’s toil, Solas!” Dorian entreated, smiling as though he had starlight in his eyes, and when Solas released him, more kisses were bestowed on him, upon his forehead, the sides of his jaw, his ears, his shoulders—

“Stop,” Solas said, when Dorian kissed the flat rectangle of his sternum through his shirt. “Why are you doing this?”

“It’s called affection,” Dorian said. “Haven’t you heard of it?”

“Distantly, spoken of in hushed tones,” Solas said, and Dorian laughed softly. He was handsome when he laughed. Handsome – distinctly human. Solas stared at him, and knew that he ought prevent this from going any further, that he ought stop Dorian before he became attached, more attached… “I do have work to do.”

“Fine,” Dorian said, pulling him from the alcove by his wrist: he kissed Solas’ palm, and Solas had to suppress a sigh as Dorian dropped his arm, stepping away from him. Solas watched after him as he walked away, and felt the ghost of Dorian’s lips on his skin.

The fourth time, Dorian pinned him to the ground as soon as they were alone in their tent together, scrambling for the fastening on Solas’ tunic as he pressed greedy, desperate kisses to the column of Solas’ neck. They were open-mouthed and wanting, as though he were desperate to taste Solas’ skin, and Solas could not resist winding his hands in Dorian’s hair, pulling him closer.

“I want to kiss you from head to toe,” Dorian said breathlessly.

“Do you hear me objecting?” Solas asked, and Dorian laughed, surging up to kiss him on the mouth.

The fifth time…

Dorian was watching him. They were playing Wicked Grace in the cellar with Varric, Blackwall, Cullen, and Josephine, and Dorian kept glancing at him. Things were different, in Tevinter. One did not kiss one’s male partner before an audience. One did not admit to the transgression of wanting another man, of lying with him, of desiring him.

This was not so, in Skyhold.

Men kissed one another; women kissed one another. Two men or two women might even be bound in matrimony.

Was this what Dorian was thinking, when he watched Solas, with that look in his eyes, as though he scarcely wanted to admit to himself who he was watching? These furtive glances, what did they represent? An ache, a want, for Solas to touch him? To reach out, perhaps, and touch Solas?

Solas oughtn’t encourage it.

It was one thing, to enjoy the warmth of Dorian in his bed, to take from him what pleasure he might find: he oughtn’t let himself think of what Dorian would feel, later, what he would think. He oughtn’t. He oughtn’t.

“I will retrieve more wine,” Solas said, getting to his feet.

“How many bottles?” Dorian asked.

Solas leaned, feeling the uncertainty in his chest, the knowledge that all would change, but when? How soon? He leaned in, brushed his lips against Dorian’s cheek, heard Dorian gasp. “One,” he said, patting the other cheek, and he pulled away to move to the cellar.

Behind him, he heard Varric say, “What was that, Sparkler?”

“Do be quiet, Varric,” Dorian replied.

Solas lost count of the kisses that came after that night.

Dorian was breathing heavily.

He wasn’t crying, but his eyes were watering at their edges, and he was shaking as he looked at Solas. Solas stepped closer, slowly, and Dorian, to his credit, did not flinch away. He stood his ground, shaking visibly, until Solas stood directly before him.

“I won’t hurt you,” Solas murmured.

“Any further, you mean?” Dorian asked, his voice cracking with a sharp note to it. “You— You bastard. You awful bastard.”

Dorian’s hands twitched at his sides, as though he were going to lift them up, to touch him – Solas remembered Dorian pinning him against a wall, laying kisses all over him… Solas reached up, touching Dorian’s cheek.

“What now?” Dorian demanded, doing his best to look defiant as he looked Solas in the eyes, but his own were watering. One tear was threatening to break free and streak down his cheek.

“Now,” Solas said softly, “you go back.”

“That’s it?” Dorian demanded, breathing heavily, his hands clenched at his sides. “Is that it?”

Solas curled his hand more tightly against Dorian’s cheek and pulled him closer, pressed his lips to Dorian’s and heard Dorian’s sob against his mouth, but he didn’t pull away. Dorian threw his arms around Solas’ neck and kissed him back, kissed him hard, desperately, hungrily, as if he knew what Solas was going to do to him.

The magic surged as he pushed Dorian back from him, and he felt Dorian’s fingers grasp at his tunic—

And then he fell through the tear in the rift behind him, dropping him back in Orlais, his fingers still grasping. The tear closed. Solas touched his own lips, tasting the lingering phantom of peppermint on his tongue.

“Me poenitet,” Solas murmured, to the empty air, to the fingers still touched against his lower lip. He wondered what it would have been like, to kiss the back of Dorian’s folded hands.

#as defined by dictionary #dorian pavus #solas #dorian x solas #dragon age #fanfic

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esmeralda-juniper · 5 years ago

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i know you're going to post it later but i must know asap #49 and #27 and #26! It can be for Alada 1 or 2, whomst, i would one day like to know the au differences! xoxo take ur time :))

Thanks so much, it took so long because I decided to do it for both! Ask list here

The short(ish) version is both Alada(s) escaped the circle but Alada(2) met someone and had two daughters with him. Alada didn’t and is kind of like the hardened version of Leliana! More under the cut because it’s long lol

26. Hmmm so trust and Alada do not really go in the same sentence lol. For 12 years she’s been on her own and only trusts herself and uses her talents so she is super quick to write someone off. Everyone has hidden intentions to her and it’s only a matter of finding out what they are to her. To even start a relationship of trust, someone has to impress her. That can mean a lot of things though, but for example Bull just went out and said he’s with the Qun and a Ben-Hassrath. He didn’t bullshit her and told her the truth so she immediately liked him. Alada also has opinions on people straight away (looking at you Cassandra and Cullen) and can’t see through them no matter what. But if you can earn some respect from Alada she’s more than willing to start small with trusting you until one day she fully trusts you if that makes sense. Think of her like a cat honestly. Give her time and space and she’ll come to you eventually but it might take some time. Alada knows someone’s really trying if they stick with her to get to know her better.

Alada(2): Lol it’s kind of cheesy but she trusts what her daughters feel. She fully believes children see more or different things than adults do. If they say something is up with a person then Alada just says nope and moves on. BUT they’re not with her all the time so she trusts her gut more than anything. She decided to trust someone on pure instinct before and that led to her finding her husband then starting her family. Also someone needs to be “nice” in a way. If you’re not completely rude or an ass to her or someone else, then you’re on her good side already. Alada builds full and complete trust with someone over time though, which is why by the time they defeat Corypheus she trusts all her followers and advisors way more than the first few months.

27. HELL NO. She and Cassandra aren’t on the best of terms anyway so I doubt she would ask Alada anyway. Alada would have to throw hands with the nearest Seeker when she found out about reversing tranquility. She’s seen good friends made tranquil before and knows how horrible it is to watch those you care about be like and she couldn’t imagine losing emotion that way either. She hates the Chantry with all her being and knowing that their police force let this form of torture persist isn’t surprising but makes her angry anway. Alada can’t see anyway for the Seekers to change even with people (or maybe just Cassandra) willing to change it. She doesn’t want templars to exist so why would she continue an organization whose job it is to look over templars? No she wants the circles/templars and hell even the Chantry to fall, so she doesn’t want the Seekers rebuilt. If Josie would let her, she would make an official Inquisition statement saying the Seekers can get Fucked. (the tldr version: In game I said “No”)

A2:Internally no. She does not trust or like Templars, and Seekers are supposed to police them and in Alada’s view they haven’t done that at all. Outside of the circle she’s heard all about the other Circles in Thedas and knows the system of abuse it is. Again, she also had a bigger reaction to finding out the cure to tranquility (fuck you BioWare lol) and can’t believe the organization kept that a secret. (Not sure of its canon but I bet the Divines knew about the reversal) Alada does like Cassandra though, they grew closer than both thought they would so she’s on the fence. She does believe Cassandra could turn the organization around for better BUT she doesn’t want templars or circles to imprison mages. Ultimately she tells Cassandra to do what she thinks is best and if she could, Alada wouldn’t let the inquisition support her openly. She let the mages join as free allies, so supporting another arm of the Chantry would feel like going behind their back. (In game though I just said rebuild it)

49. Not sure if they mean main foe or not so I’ll do a little of both! I honestly think they would both hate fighting the rebel mages. More than anything they want to speak with them and tell them she’s on their side. It honestly urges both of them to hurry up and go to Redcliffe to speak with the rebel mages. She wants to tell them that she may be called “The Herald of Andraste” but she is not associated with the Chantry.

Alada thinks it wack she has to fight Florianne after letting her assassinate Celene. She doesn’t like her by any means, but the one thing they could agree on was that Celene had to GO. If she could, she would have captured Florianne and made her work for the Inquisition. How? Idk but I bet she could get Leliana to do something about it. BUT it was ultimately a good idea to kill her to tie off any loose ends and play the part of “Oh no Celene is dead, I was too late to help, my bad!” It was a pretty easy fight with Blackwall, Dorian, Varric, and her all going in on her though, “Like come on Florianne let me have some fun at this ball.”

A2: She doesn’t want to fight Samson actually! She’s listened to Cullen but she also talked with Hawke and Varric about what Samson was like in Kirkwall. She knows he helped mages escape the Gallows and he could be considered a “good templar” but that’s not saying much. She also read the messages she found from him to his soldiers, and knows he cares for him. She doesn’t think anyone is completely evil and that he must have his reasons for supporting Corypheus but she’s not exactly sure. At the Well she fights him from letting him take that knowledge to C but she doesn’t want to hurt him BUT she can’t let him have use of the Well.

#thanks so much Bry!#This got long forgive me but I got so into it #dragon age asks #OC: Alada Trevelyan #I need another name for her #Ally maybe as a nickname?#my inquisitors #OC: Aly Trevelyan

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askdragonagecompanions · 6 years ago

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Henlo? May I request a companions and advisors react to a tranquil inquisitor being their best childhood friend who kinda just disappeared when they were about 10 or 11 (and realizing that it was because they were a mage) (the inquisitor used to be the sweetest, gentlest, cheery-est lil bean and now they're a husk) (it was the most angsty thing I could think of, how do you like it?) Love all your writing, thank you!

[ahhh thank you so much! It really means a lot :D this is a wonderfully heart breaking prompt! I love it!]

Dorian: Though Dorian didn’t like to look back at his past too often there were parts of it that he couldn’t deny were good. One particular memory was of his childhood best friend. The two of them had been as thick as thieves, practicing spells together, staying up in the libraries researching and learning together. His friend was always so sweet and gentle. They always had a smile on their face no matter what. Even when they were sad Dorian could cheer them up with a new book on magic or showing off a new spell he had learned. One day, though, his friend had just disappeared. He didn’t know if it was his father’s doing or theirs but it upset him. He still wondered where they had gone sometimes, well until he met the Inquisitor. Dorian was not one to forget faces even if they had both grown up and matured. He wasn’t going to lie. When he first so them he was horrified. He had heard of the right of Tranquility. It disgusted him. He couldn’t believe that anyone would even think it okay to rip someone from the fade and take away who they were… It made him uneasy. He remembered his friend being so full of life, but now they didn’t even smile. As he learned, Tranquil didn’t really feel emotion anymore. They were able to focus on one task until it was complete, but they were without dreams, without their magic. Every time he saw the Inquisitor he felt so guilty. Was it his fault that they were now tranquil? He didn’t know how it could be but he still felt that it was. Sometimes he would try to talk with them about their past, but the Inquisitor was just so… emotionless. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to get rid of this… tranquility. He wanted his friend back, and so he started a new research project. He’s unaware that Cassandra knows the cure to the Right of Tranquility and when he finds out he’s furious. He feels guilty for not being able to stay by his friend for long but he’s just… so upset.

Solas: When he was in his dreaming state Solas remembered a particular wandering dreamer who always had a knack for finding him. He knew they weren’t a spirit. In fact they had to have some magical prowess to continue coming to the fade in their dreams. He found it… endearing. Solas took to protecting the child and explaining the difference between spirits and demons. The child was always so cheery. They would talk to spirits in such a gentle tone. They always had so many questions. Though… one day the child just stopped visiting. Solas just assumed that they learned how to control their travels into the fade. For a while he missed their company, but he had other things that needed study and planning. When he met the Inquisitor all those years later he almost lost his composure. He never thought he’d see that child again, but here they were staring at him with that hideous mark on their forehead. He kept himself civil, introducing himself. Inside he was seething. He already felt like he was walking through a world of tranquil and now the one person that should understand his views has been cut off from the fade itself. How could they do this? What crime could ever grant a punishment such as this? Solas cannot stay near the Inquisitor for long. It is too much for him. He will offer them advice if they need it, but all this does is further his belief that he needs to get rid of the veil.

Vivienne: She remembers her friend fondly. They didn’t really get into trouble per say, but they were an inquisitive pair. Her friend was always interested in the natural studies while Vivienne wanted to know more about the more complex spells and studies. She loved being able to play with her friend, though one day they just left. At the time she was upset, but a few weeks later she too was taken away. Vivienne figured her friend was taken to some circle, or possibly their parents just moved. There was no point now in trying to figure it out. Vivienne never really thought about the possibility of finding her friend again, but when she heard the Inquisitor’s name she couldn’t fight the small bit of excitement in her heart. She invited them to her home, hoping that this wasn’t just a coincidence. When they finally met again Vivienne managed to keep a polite diplomatic smile on her face but her heart sunk. So that was why she hadn’t heard from her friend. Disappointing. There were two possibilities. Either her friend had done something terrible in the circle that made the right of tranquility necessary or they were just not going to pass their harrowing without it. They were still doing good for themself though, Inquisitor, herald of Andraste. Vivienne is used to the Tranquil and despite the twinge of sadness at seeing her friend look so emotionless she still enjoys their company and helps them with whatever their mind gets set to. Tranquil do have amazing focus and once they set their mind on a task they will keep working on it until it is finished.

Blackwall: Blackwall always tried to forget his past. He wasn’t a good man. Thom Rainer wasn’t… well he was trying to be better. There were some nights where he would look back on his childhood fondly. He used to have this friend, a sweet kid who was curious about everything. They’d both go adventuring into the forests together. Blackwall would have his wooden sword to protect them from anything that tried to ambush them and his friend always had a book or a notebook with them, jotting down notes on every bug and little critter they saw. He remembered they once found a baby nug and were just so happy that they brought it back to their parents. Then one day Blackwall went to go ask if his friend could play and they were just gone, their parents looking heart broken. He just assumed that his friend had been killed. It was why he initially wanted to be a soldier, to protect people so that they never lost their friends. When he meets the Inquisitor he almost doesn’t believe his eyes. He doesn’t know much about the right of Tranquility, but he knows something is wrong. They’re not smiling, not really showing any sort of emotion. He can’t worry about that yet. After they fight off the bandits he talks to them in private and finds out what happened to them. The Inquisitor says they’re fine, that they are of their own free will, that their tranquility clears their mind of emotions and dreams. It just doesn’t sit well with Blackwall.

Iron Bull: There wasn’t really a lot of time for goofing around under the Qun but Bull could still make friends during training. He knew one kid that was always just so happy. They weren’t really good at fighting and they were too soft, but they were nice. Bull liked to hang out with them after training because their parents were bakers. One day though his friend was just gone. When he asked his Tama where he’d gone he was told not to ask again. It wasn’t until later in life that Bull realized his friend and left the Qun. For a while he was furious that his friend could even think about going Vashoth but he had more important things to worry about than some kid he knew when he was ten. So, imagine his surprise when the same friend shows up on the Storm Coast years later. At first he’s wary, but its only for a second as he realizes this is the Inquisitor he’s supposed to meet. That’s when he catches sight of that nasty mark on their forehead. He’d been wandering the south long enough to know what the right of Tranquility and it all sort of clicks. So his friend was a mage, explained why they left. The serabas were treated… poorly to put it mildly. Looks like they didn’t fare any better out here though. Poor bastard. Bull does try and rekindle their friendship. It’s awkward. The Inquisitor isn’t really one to show any emotions anymore, kind of a stark contrast from who they were, but there are certain topics and subjects that once they start talking about they just don’t stop. It’s almost like you can see excitement again. Bull likes it when they’re like that.

Cassandra: Cassandra had very little friends growing up. She had her brother of course, and she had one friend that always stuck with them. Her friend was always in a good mood even if it was the worst day imaginable. Cassandra loved playing with them. It was better than staying in her uncles house anyways. Her friend loved to talk about magic and really anything that peaked their interest. They would all go out and explore, pretending to be real adventurers. Of course, as with all things, those days came to an end. Cassandra had seen the templars come. It didn’t take her long to figure out they’d taken her friend. As the years passed Cassandra forgot about her friend for a while. She was a Seeker now, the Right hand of the Divine. she had people to protect. It was quite the shock when she saw that their prisoner was her old friend, what shook her to her core was seeing the brand of the Right of Tranquility on their forehead. She continued on with her questioning, still believing that somehow this prisoner had to be the one who destroyed it all, but she doubted it more and more. It wasn’t really until Skyhold that Cassandra tried to rekindle her friendship with the Inquisitor. They were both so different now. They weren’t the same happy go lucky kids. Cassandra herself found it hard to control or understand her emotions and her friend… well they didn’t seem to experience many if any at all. It isn’t until her mission to find the rest of the Seeker’s that she realizes the true extent of the Right of Tranquility, what was done to her, what was done to her friend. Cassandra is determined to make the cure work. She needs to look into it more, to make sure it’s safe, but she promises her friend that she’ll make it work. She wants to ask why her friend was made tranquil in the first place but… she worries it will cause unease.

Cole: Cole, the real Cole, did not have many friends growing up. The one he did have he cherished. They didn’t have a lot. Sometimes they both went hungry, but his friend always saw the bright side, always kept a smile on their face and told Cole it was going to be okay. They’d get so excited when they got a new book or their parents were able to afford getting them better shoes. They’d always share what they had with Cole as well. They weren’t from a very wealthy village and everyone had their own struggles to deal with. When the templars came Cole hid. He didn’t want to be taken away. He hid for days until the Templars left, but when they had he couldn’t find his friend. A part of him always felt guilty for not making sure his friend was hidden as well. When Cole the mage died and Cole the Spirit became him he still felt that pain. He wished he could have helped. When he met the Inquisitor he was too busy to explain it all. The bad men were coming, their minds altered and full of pain from the lyrium all led by the Elder One. It wasn’t really until Skyhold that he was able to talk with the Inquisitor. He didn’t really understand the Right of Tranquility before. He knew what it was but it didn’t make sense. Now looking at the Inquisitor he can feel it. “Empty, blank, cut off. No more magic no more feeling. It’s quiet very quiet, too quiet sometimes so you study. Pouring yourself into the first task you can find. Working makes the quiet more bearable, makes you feel accomplished and not empty. You remember me, the me who died. You miss that friend.” Cole thinks for a moment and smiles. “Well you are like me and… we can be friends again.” He enjoys being by the Inquisitor’s side. The mark makes them bright, but their mind is quiet and easier to navigate than the others. It’s not that they don’t have emotion it’s just at such a low capacity that it doesn’t really show. The two can talk about things for hours and Cole has so many questions and the Inquisitor is always there to answer them, they even read to Cole on things that they both don’t understand. Cole knows the mages feel uneasy around the Inquisitor. It’s seeing someone so emotionless and logical. Then again they feel that way around him too. He likes the Inquisitor. Maybe the real Cole and the Inquisitor had been friends in the past but they were both new people now, and new friends.

Varric: Growing up in Kirkwall it wasn’t uncommon for kids to sort of just disappear one day. Happened to one of his best friends. When his mom was just… there and Bartrand was too much of a pain in the ass to deal with Varric would usually go outside to go play. That’s how he met his first friend. The kid actually tried to steal from him but he was horrible at it and apologized with tears in his eyes when Varric caught up to him. Varric thought it was hilarious and told the kid that they should be friends. After that they hung out almost everyday, playing games, pranks, you name it. His friend was always so happy to see him, always cheery and even though they didn’t have much they always set out bowls of water and scraps for the strays around Kirkwall. Then one day they just stopped showing up. Varric tried to find them but no one cared about where they went. He was still too young to realize what had happened. It was only when he was older he found them again. The first time wasn’t with the Inquisition. They were placed outside in the Gallows to sell wears, to show off the tranquil and what happened to mages who disobeyed the Templars. Varric didn’t approach. He was pissed off. His friend had been the sweetest person he’d ever met. They had nothing and they still made a point to be kind and take care of the strays and help out people on the street and the… He needed to drop it. He couldn’t do anything to help them now. Maybe Blondie was right. Maybe the Templars did go too far. When shit hit the fan in Kirkwall he got real nervous for his friend. He kept asking his contacts if they’d gotten out but he never got the chance to find out because someone had him held for questioning about the champion. He finally gets his answer when all hell breaks loose again. He can’t believe his friend is the fucking Herald of Andraste but he’s so relieved to see that they’re alive still. So at first he’s a bit awkward. It takes some getting used to, but really its still his friend. He realizes this when he sees the Inquisitor setting out bowls of milk and scraps for the stray cats that have somehow made their way to Skyhold with them. They’re quieter, don’t really show emotions but they still have interests, they still like listening to Varric’s stories. The more they hang out the more he’s glad to have his friend back.

Sera: Sera knew plenty of kids growing up sure. She just didn’t have a lot of friends. One of her best friends was this cheery kid. No matter what they would always find a way to smile. They were such a nerd too, always reading about things, even gave Sera some really good books that they knew she’d enjoy and they were right! Some of the other kids would call Sera stupid cause she had been on the streets before she was adopted, cause she talked different, but they didn’t know shite. She was just as smart as them she just learned differently. Her friend understood that. It was nice. They would usually go play in the fields. Her friend loved to study bees and how they worked and it was amazing. Bees did so much and the bumbly ones were hilarious to watch. One day her friend used magic and it scared Sera. Her friend didn’t know how to control it and they were both scared. Sera knew they’d be taken to the circle and it was for the best. The Circle would help them learn how to control it and keep them safe from demons and stuff. She missed her friend, but at least they’d be better off there. Yeah sometimes the Templars were shit and the mages didn’t deserve that but they also had to realize they were terrifying. No one else could do shit like that so of course they needed to be kept in check. The next time she sees her friend she’s supposed to be saving the Inquisitor’s ass. She can’t believe her eyes for a second and just grins, “Andraste’s tits you’re the Herald? This is awesome!” She knows about the Right of Tranquility. It’s used on mages who are too dangerous or the ones people know won’t make it through the Harrowy thing. It takes away their magic and makes em less emotiony. That last bit sucks, but they’re safer. It takes some getting used to but she still loves her friend and they catch up back at Haven. Sure they’re quieter now and don’t smile a lot. Takes some getting used to but like they’re fighting fucking fade demons and crap all of this is a bit crazy if she’s being honest. Sera’ll shoot an arrow at anyone who calls her friend weird for bein Tranquil. They can’t help it and it probably wasn’t their choice but they’re still awesome.

Josephine: When she meets the Inquisitor she can’t really believe her eyes. She quickly fixes her composure and shakes their hand but it’s quite shocking to her. She can’t believe that that is the same kid who used to come running into the library with the biggest grin on their face and five books in hand. They had once been best friends, studying together and talking about their plans for the future. It was a nice break from the duties she had with her family. Though one day her friend stopped showing up. She asked her parents about it but they said it was best just to not ask, so she listened to them and stopped. Then life seemed to pick up, what with becoming a bard and then working with diplomats and still running her family back in Antiva despite being in Orlais. It was quite the ordeal. Seeing the her friend like this worries her at first so she looks into the Right of Tranquility. She feels sorrow for her friend, they were always bright and full of joy but now they just seemed empty. No matter they were still themself just changed to some degree. Whenever she has free time she tries to catch up with her old friend and scolds herself whenever she feels sorry for her friend. That’s not what the Inquisitor needs.

Cullen: Cullen is the one that feels most guilty at seeing his old friend now Tranquil. When they were kids they both came from modest families. When their parents were busy the two would play in the fields. They’d take turns doing what the other wanted to play. On Cullen’s turn they’d both be knights and pretend to fight dragons and bandits. On his friends turn they usually ended up exploring and reading. When the Templar’s came Cullen was fascinated. He wanted to be one! They were so cool and they helped protect people and the mages of the Circle. Well that’s what everyone told him and he was only a child so of course he believed it all. His friend was already Tranquil when he joined the Circle as a Templar and he didn’t really deal with the Tranquil. His job was to keep an eye on the apprentices so it really wasn’t until meeting the Inquisitor that he really realized what had happened. When he saw them he couldn’t stop the frown that spread across his face. He refused to believe that his friend could have done anything that would deem it necessary to make them Tranquil. Just another harsh reminder that the Templars over stepped their bounds and abused their power to keep the mages under their foot. It makes him sick. He wants to be better. He wants to leave that life behind, but now he’s face to face with the life he used to glorify and he sees how wrong it was, how wrong he was. It takes a long time for him to try and hang out with the Inquisitor again. It isn’t really until they express approval in him for stopping his intake of lyrium. It shocks him because he was expecting them to tell him it was irrational to stop in such a desperate time but they don’t. “It has been proven that the Lyrium is actually more detrimental in the long run Commander. Continuing lyrium could lead to addiction which would not be good either. It is very beneficial in the long run for you to stop. I know some potions that will help with the headaches and fevers this will cause.” Cullen feels very awkward around them for a while but by the time Corypheus is defeated he does think of the Inquisitor as his friend again. He still feels guilty. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to get rid of that guilt, but he is happy to have his friend back. They are different, but they still enjoy exploring the forests and the same books they used to, perhaps even more than when they were kids.

Leliana: Of course she remembers her old friend. How can she not? On days where Leliana was given a chance to play outside with some of the other kids they would make the most of it. They would explore Orlais and look at all of the new fashion styles and all of the pretty shoes. On rainy days they’d sit together in the library and talk about what they wanted to do when they were adults. When her friend disappeared Leliana got worried, but she was told that her friend was discovered to be a mage so they were taken to the circle. Leliana didn’t question it. She was a child so why would she? Many things happened in between that time. She realized that childish dreams were not what kept someone going. No you had to be quick, cunning, and do whatever it takes to survive. She hardened herself to survive and was made one of the hands of the Divine. When she was presented with the prisoner the only sign that she knew it was her friend was a narrowing of her eyes. She quickly looked them over. The Right of Tranquility. She would look into the reason why they were given it. It was… disheartening to see her old friend like this, but then Leliana remembered she wasn’t exactly the same bubbly girl she had once been either. They both changed and understood that the mission must be completed no matter the cost. They do eventually catch up with each other and when they talk now its mostly about missions or what should be done in the future, this time with a very realistic understanding of the possibilities coming their way. It’s bittersweet to have her friend back to say the least.

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segadoraa · 5 years ago

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Blinded Chapter 5: A Time Not Yet Lost

Summary: Ellana meets with the War Council to determine the Inquisition's next move in the war against Fen'Harel.

Read the rest of the story on AO3.

Back in Skyhold, Ellana had summoned her war council almost immediately. As they entered, she felt a pang—Josephine had dark circles under her eyes, Cullen walked with a slight limp, and Leliana seemed to twitch at the slightest sound. Ellana herself still wore the bloodied armor she had in battle, days previously now. Cassandra, or Divine Victoria rather, had returned promptly to the Winter Palace to address the Chantry. She tried to quash her desperate desire to take a bath as well as her guilt for summoning her exhausted crew. They did not know when Solas would move forward and they needed to be on the same page in case disaster struck.

“My apologies for requesting your presence this soon after we have returned,” she began. “I fear we do not have much time before our enemy makes his next move and, at this point, there are several things we need to agree upon in order to confirm our next move.”

“No need for apologies, Inquisitor,” replied Josephine. “You are correct, we should meet. Leliana, have you further considered expanding our council outside this room?”

“I have considered it—”

“Hold on,” Cullen interjected, cutting Leliana off. “We are moving forward with our contingency plan just like that? I think we need to first agree that there is nothing left to be done about…?” he trailed off, meeting Ellana’s gaze. She opened her mouth to explain, but Leliana beat her to it.

“What more can we do?” Leliana stepped an inch closer to Ellana’s left side, shielding her slightly from the Commander’s gaze. “We’ve combatted his forces at every turn and we’ve come up short. We’ve gained as much power and knowledge as we could, but now he has what he needs. If Ellana herself could not change the mind of Fen’Harel, who could? We need to assume our enemy means to act, and soon.” Cullen withdrew slightly and dropped his gaze, not meeting her eye.

“Perhaps we have not yet exhausted our assets,” he suggested, cocking his head toward Ellana, his gaze still lowered. “Inquisitor, are you certain we have no tools left at our disposal to use against our enemy? He might respond to… unexpected advances more positively than what we’ve tried thus far.”

Ellana pushed her breath slowly through her teeth as Leliana sucked hers in quickly.

“Commander,” her tone was reprimanding and Ellana glanced at her gratefully, “You were not at the camp when Ellana returned from our enemy’s clutches, but I was. I am not faulting you,” she added, after Cullen opened his mouth to argue, “Your soldiers needed your leadership. However, you did not see the state the Inquisitor was in when she returned to us. I truly believe we have exhausted any resistance we have against both Fen’Harel and Solas at this point, and it would be wise to move forward from here, to spare ourselves any further setbacks.”

Ellana, slightly abashed at the comment on her conduct, sent a small smile toward Leliana. She was grateful for not having to argue her perspective with Cullen. She gazed back at him and noticed his slight blush before he shuffled around the table.

“Very well,” he said, resigning. He lifted his sad eyes to meet Ellana’s gaze. “I do trust you, and I trust the report I read. I just needed to be certain. It is a grave fate we commit ourselves to now.”

Ellana regarded him a moment before he broke away from her focus. She sensed a twinge of—what? Regret? Longing?

“I agree with Cullen,” Josephine piped up, regarding him curiously. “We should be sure there is nothing else to be done before we accept what we must do now.”

All eyes turned toward Ellana. She did her best not to stagger as their stares and the collective weight of their dependence on her hit her like a mind blast. She knew as well as they did that what they would do next was solely her decision. She felt another part of her break under the weight. Once, she would have sought out Solas, who somehow had a way of lifting the heaviness she felt and making her feel reassured. Now, she must press on alone and find the strength he once gave within herself.

Shuffling her feet slightly, but not dropping her eyes, she sighed.

“I assure you, every strategy we have discussed has been attempted,” she addressed them all, praying that she exuded all the calm and confidence that she did not feel. “We must move forward; if any words or actions were to change Fen’Harel, they have already come to pass and he has not wavered. We mustn’t either. With this plan, we are one step ahead of him for the first time. If we want it to remain that way, we cannot delay.”

With this, Cullen clenched his jaw and averted his gaze. Josephine gave a curt nod and a small smile, raising her notes, ready to act. Leliana glanced sideways at her, but said nothing. The floor still belonged to Ellana.

“Leliana, is there anyone else we should invite to join us before continuing our talks?”

“I have considered this and, yes, I think we would benefit greatly by extending our reach. I’ll send word,” she excused herself and Josephine followed. Cullen and Ellana remained, avoiding each other’s eyes.

There had been a time, before Ellana was the Inquisitor, before they had sealed the breach in the sky, before Skyhold and Solas, when she had sought Cullen out in his quarters, wondering aloud what her place in the world was and where to go from here. She had been terrified and he had always seemed so sure, so she sought him out. To her surprise, she had found him trembling and afraid—the same way she felt. They had found comfort in each other’s embrace for just that night. After, it was as if nothing had happened. If there were any longing glances or lingering emotion, Ellana had missed it altogether, and things soon went back to normal. That is, until about a month previously, at a particularly heated war council meeting where they had fought over what to do about Fen’Harel’s betrayal. His words had stung, and Ellana remembered them now.

“Are we just going to sit around and pretend there was nothing special, nothing intimate about the relationship between our dear Inquisitor and Fen’Harel? Or, should I say, Solas?” Ellana was taken aback at his words—they had been careful to avoid suspicion.

“Commander!” It was Josephine who defended her this time. She regarded it as an inopportune moment to reveal their knowledge of Ellana’s alleged triste.

“I know, I know! We all agreed not to discuss it! But do we not agree that such a connection could benefit us if it were exploited? I’ve seen what the Inquisitor can do and, trust me, she is lethal with more than her bow.”

He had done his best to maintain an air of nonchalance at the time, but Ellana knew her face had burned at the weight of his implications. He had played the part of the dutiful commander and he had performed well, considering the circumstances. He had never requested much from Ellana besides the direction and encouragement he needed after he had decided to withdraw from his use of lyrium.

Now, Ellana recognized regret and hurt on the face of the man standing before her.

“Cullen,” she said in a low voice, “I owe you an apology.”

“You owe me nothing, Inquisitor. You’ve saved us and all of Thedas. I’m grateful for your strength and your influence.” His response was rehearsed, stoic, and insincere. He stared straight ahead, as a soldier would when addressing his superior. She stepped around the war table, then rested against it, just a few paces from where he stood at attention. She fixed her gaze on his boots.

“I’m not addressing Commander Rutherford. You may stand down. I’m addressing you as a man, Cullen. I am sorry. You must think I’m a fool, and you are certainly right. I’ve been foolish in many respects.”

He did not answer for a while and regarded her curiously. She felt the heat in her face, but she did not lift her head to meet his eye. Her throat burned with embarrassment and emotion. Cullen, along with the rest of the Inquisition, had placed his complete trust in her and her misguided faith in the apostate mage. She had cost them everything. She acted like a lovesick child—so sure of herself and her feelings. The weight of Solas’s betrayal was now hers to bear. How could anyone trust her to lead them now?

Cullen let out a sigh and softened slightly.

“I do not think you are a fool,” he finally said, gently. “I do not pretend to understand the workings of your heart Inquis—” he corrected himself, “Ellana. Or his for that matter, but given everything that has happened, you have never given me a reason not to trust you. I will still follow where you lead and, if I have ever let my emotions get the best of me, then I’m the one who should apologize.”

She met his gaze at that—his eyes were full and a concerned frown furrowed his brow. She made to reach out for his hand, but, at that moment, Leliana and Josephine re-entered the room, followed by Dorian, Iron Bull, Vivienne, Blackwall, Sera, and Varric, who was accompanied by Hawke and a Dalish elf Ellana did not recognize. She met Ellana’s eye when she entered and a small smile crossed her face before she shuffled around Varric to stand slightly behind him at the table.

Their small war room had never been so full. She regarded her friends and the newcomers as they took in their surroundings. Blackwall kicked at a small stone by his feet and kept his gaze down. Dorian lounged next to Bull in the corner, his posture relaxed, but his eyes darted around the room. Vivienne seemed as comfortable as she ever did, with her back straight and her chin lifted. She regarded Ellana with a cool disdain—they had often disagreed about Ellana’s decisions, but she had stayed and supported the Inquisition, nonetheless.

Her eyes rested on Varric, who quirked a half-smile and tilted his head toward the room. She tried to smile back and shrugged slightly, searching for what she would say to address her new war council. Varric beat her to it.

“So,” she said, leaning forward against the table, “assuming we aren’t all here because Chuckles has had a sudden change of heart and has decided not to destroy the world, let me introduce my friend, Merrill.”

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