#i have major dog energy so idk why it took me so long

[spore-pack]

so yeah i was wrong about the wolverine thing BUT new theriotype unlocked:

karakachan dogs !!

also known as bulgarian shepherds :))

[sgt-seabass]

Prompt 15 about a hike turning to a chase, I would love that to be with nick from clockwork AU. Loved the short thrill of when puppy attempted to escape the first time, but would love to see it with the new bond they have (maybe Nick goes a bit mad thinking puppy isn't truly broken for a sec?). Thank you, I think your writing is fabulous.

𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑

✧˚ · . 𝘕𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦.

pairing — mob boss!alpha!nick fowler x omega!reader w/c — 4.2k this is a dark fic. 18+ only. part of the Clockwork AU. warnings — a/b/o elements, pet names (omega, puppy, pup), chasing, hunting, minor injury to reader, minor injury to Nick, minor blood, guns, knives, major stockholm syndrome, kissing, general dark shit idk a/n — thank you so much for the ask bubs! i love it. and i'm so glad you're enjoying the AU! i hope you like it. also big thank you to @lunarbuck for beta reading, you're amazing. any mistakes are my own.

The sun filtered through the kitchen window as you sat at the counter, picking at the bacon and eggs on your plate. Nick’s kitchen staff often prepared your meals, leaving you feeling inadequate. But it was always delicious, so you couldn’t complain too much.

As usual, Nick was up early and in his office, his work calling him away. Sometimes you sat in the office with him when he felt needy, but you enjoyed your moments alone. You never truly had solace, though, as you could feel Nick’s presence through the bond or would be checked in on by Mace, Beck, or one of Nick’s many men.

You hadn’t made a fuss since you were broken four weeks ago, but that didn’t mean Nick trusted you to behave.

Honestly, there wasn’t much reason to lash out. Nick treated you well, ensuring you were fed and fucked until you passed out every night. Sometimes it was as if he had a competition with himself to see how many orgasms he could pull from your body. You got a little bored while he worked long hours, but Nick had every streaming service possible, and the dogs would sit with you.

You weren’t allowed outside without supervision, so sometimes you’d sit by the window in the lounge room and just peer out. Occasionally, you’d see the omegas being moved to and from the barn. Those were the worst days. Letting Nick claim your body on those nights was the hardest, something within you fighting to resurface. But you never won those battles, and you’d be screaming Nick’s name before long into the starry night.

There was movement behind you as you scooped some eggs onto your fork, and your heart skipped a beat when Nick’s scent wafted into the room. You turned, surprised to see your alpha behind you. Your brows raised at the sight of his navy, cosy, fluffy jumper that covered his hulking frame and black skinny jeans that showed off his ass. That certainly wasn’t what he wore to work. And he hardly ever left his office during the daytime unless he had to oversee shipments or deal with a severe work problem. “Alpha?”

“Why do you look so surprised to see me, omega?” Nick chuckled, moving to the counter where you sat. He took the fork from your grip, bringing the eggs to your mouth to feed you. “Good girl. I always like seeing my omega eat well. Means you’ll have lots of energy. I want my puppy to be nice and healthy.”

You nodded with heated cheeks, still not used to the praise Nick would occasionally gift you. Normally if he was friendly, he would have something scheming in the background. 

Just like now.

“It’s playtime, puppy. I’ve taken the rest of the morning off to spend some time with you.” Nick brought another forkful to your mouth, which you hesitatingly took. You were apprehensive. You’d never had play time before and feared finding out what it meant.

“Playtime?” You questioned, voice meek as you wished the ground would come and swallow you up. Nick always had you feeling small, like a bug he could crush under his boot.

“Alpha wants to play a game called hunt the whelp.”

You blinked, giving him a confused look with knitted brows. “What?”

“You’re cute when you’re dumb, puppy. C’mon, put your runners on. The new ones I got you this morning.” Nick pulled you from the counter, hand wrapped around your wrist as he brought you to the front door. He’d shown you the new pink runners this morning but said they were for special occasions. Playtime must be special if you get to wear them.

Sitting on the bench by the door, you watched as Nick knelt before you, picking up the fresh new shoes and slipping them onto your feet. You noticed the change immediately. The runners were heavy, instantly pulling your feet to the ground. You bit your lower lip as Nick focused on doing up the laces, triple knotting them so they’d hold despite the weight pulling you down.

“There we go. Perfect fit, right, pup?” Nick grinned up at you, patting your knee before standing. “Wait here.”

It’s not like you could get very far anyway. You testingly raised your foot, frowning at how difficult it was. They weren’t going to be impossible to walk in, but they also weren’t going to be easy.

The jingling of a bell signalled Nick’s return. Your breath hitched in your throat at the sight of the matching pink collar, a small bell shaped like a strawberry hanging on the front. “A-Alpha— I—“

Nick advanced, holding the collar above you, shaking it. “I thought you liked pink. And the staff tell me how you eat all the strawberries you can. I’ve started buying extra just for you.”

“I— I do like them. But—“

“Then this collar is perfect for you, no?” Nick’s eyes darkened a fraction, danger laced in his tone. 

There were eggshells all over the floor, and if you weren’t careful, you would wake the beast that lay dormant in your alpha.

It felt like stones in your throat were weighing you down, like your shoes. “I-It’s perfect…” You conceded, too scared to deny your alpha as he towered over you.

“I’m glad you agree, puppy.” Nick placed the collar around your neck, snapping the latching mechanism together so it was secured. You heard a little beep as Nick locked the collar with his fingerprint. Any plans you had of taking it off were quickly squashed.

You stayed silent. What was there to say anyway?

Nick pulled you to stand, and the bell jingled with the movement. He smirked at you, cocking his head before looping his fingers through the collar.

Without warning, Nick tugged you closer, pulling you up so you were standing on the balls of your feet. His lips ghosted over yours, his hot breath fanning across your face. “You look very cute, omega. My good little puppy, aren’t you? And good little puppies get to play.”

The dead, almost forgotten part of you wanted to tell him to fuck off. But your hindbrain was preening from the attention.

“Let’s go. Just looking at you like this is getting me excited.”

Not waiting for your approval, Nick picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist with your chest against his. Even with the added weight of the shoes, Nick carried you like you weighed nothing, displaying his prime alpha strength.

You let your chin rest on his shoulder, your fingers running across the soft material of his jumper. Nick’s scent never failed to give you butterflies, and he chuckled as you dragged your nose across the scent gland on his neck. You could see the tops of his tattoos, and something about the black ink made him even more endearing as if his skin was a storybook for you to unveil.

Not that Nick ever granted you much insight into his mind. He was near impossible to read, and you knew next to nothing about his past, or his plans for the future. He was a closed book, only allowing you snippets of his life to bleed through into your world.

As he made his way through the mansion with you latched to him, Nick grabbed a duffle bag by the back door, slinging it over his shoulder. You were both scared and curious to see what it contained.

“It’s such a nice day, omega, isn’t it?” Nick said as he carried you out the back door and into the sunlight shining across the backyard.

“Mm, yes.” You mumbled into Nick’s shoulder, enjoying the way the heated rays warmed your skin and provided life essence to your soul. Like a plant, you wanted to grow towards the light and let it fuel your being.

You passed the barn, refusing to look at it as Nick brought you to the edge of the lawn, where grass met forest. Luckily, there were no sounds of distressed omegas around, and it put you more at ease.

Sensing your anxiousness, Nick placed his palm on the small of your back to hold you close. “Don’t think about them.”

But how could you not? Nick could attempt to pull the wool over your eyes, but you’d always know where his wealth and power came from. Exploitation. Your alpha was not a good man. But he was your alpha, and that meant there really wasn’t much you could do about it. Fighting against a force so much more powerful than your own only ended up with you hurt. And you’d had more than enough pain to last you many lifetimes.

Nick brought you to a spot you had been before when you first ran from him when brought to his mansion. Where you fell, and the dogs laid with you before Nick and his men arrived. Back when you had a yearning for a normal life.

He placed you down, your feet sinking into the plush earth with the weighted shoes on your feet.

“Are you ready to play, puppy?” Nick put the bag down and unzipped it. The sight of the contents had your eyes widening and a gasp falling past your lips. A gun. Not just any firearm. But a rifle fitted with a scope for extra accuracy.

“What.. are you hunting?” You knew the answer. But you didn’t want to admit it to yourself.

“You, of course. You get to go on a hike, puppy. And all you have to do is avoid my slugs. It’s simple.” Slinging the gun over his shoulder, Nick approached you, cupping your cheek with his warm palm. You snuggled your face into it, hoping to hide away from the sick game he wanted to play.

“Can’t we just stay here? I— I don’t want to run,” you murmured against his palm, and Nick cracked up.

“Oh, now you don’t want to run, huh?” His hand patted your cheek before he gripped your chin tightly. “I took the morning off work just to play with you. Don’t be ungrateful.”

“But—”

Nick growled, grabbing you rougher. “Unless the next words out of your mouth are ‘thank you, alpha, for taking time off for me,’ I don’t want to fucking hear it.”

“T-Thank you.” You blurted out, primarily out of habit.

“Thank me properly.”

With no room for argument, you reached up to press a chaste kiss to Nick’s lips, your hands resting on his shoulders. Just like you’d been taught. Nick always had you giving kisses as apologies. “Thank you for taking time off for me, alpha.”

“My good girl. Wasn’t that hard, was it?” Nick smoothed his hands over your chiffon dress. Pink. Like your shoes and collar. Nick said it was all for you, but you know he enjoyed dressing you prettily. Like his little puppy doll.

It certainly wasn’t hiking attire.

“You have a five-minute head start. When you hear a shot, you’ll know I’m coming for you.” Nick checked his watch before turning his attention to you. With a raised brow, he shooed at you, hands swatting you away. “Go on, don’t want to waste your head start.”

You stuttered in place. Did he really expect you to run? The look Nick gave you, with a fucking rifle slung over his shoulder, told you he wasn’t joking.

Maybe you could get out of here. Find a road and hail someone down.

The thought had you turning on your heel and bolting. Your speed as an omega was handy, and even with the weighted shoes, you could make a semi-fast pace. Tension tore through your body as you ran, muscles already screaming from the strain of dragging your feet along.

The trees were somewhat sparse in this area, and it made for easy running as you leaped over logs and avoided thick branches. You shivered into the chilly air, the trees covering the sun and causing the temperature to drop. With each bounding step, your shoes became more dirtied, brown earth covering your lower legs.

The bell of your collar rang like an ominous toll, the sound only proving how desperate you were to make some distance.

As you made your way through, you almost tripped on air. Or, what you thought was just the air. You stumbled forward and luckily tumbled to the side as the tripwire snapped, a big hole opening up where you should have fallen.

A trap. You crawled over to look in the now-visible hole. There were no spikes, nothing to seriously maim you. But it would considerably slow you down if you got yourself stuck.

As you stared at what was almost your fate, stuck in a hole, a shot rang out into the air.

Birds fluttered away in the distance. Nick had begun the hunt.

Not sticking around to find out if he would actually shoot you, you got up and began moving. Your legs were fatigued, and it was hard to pull yourself along, but as the birds that had been scared off by Nick’s shot passed you, there was a new, renewed sense of vigour coursing through you.

Maybe you could join them in their escape. Because you wanted to get away from Nick… right? Yes. Maybe. Your body, mind, and soul craved him. And you wanted to turn around and run back to him. But you should’ve wanted to escape, right? Confusion muddled your mind as you kept moving.

You couldn’t run anymore, not with your legs weighed down and traps around. There were multiple tripwires scattered about, and it was hard avoiding them while also trying to make your way.

Not wanting to give away your location, you tucked the bell under the collar so that it sat between the fabric and your neck. There were still slight sounds, but they were mostly muffled. And it was the best you could do as you needed your hands free.

The further you got, the more you realised how much this game was pitted against you. You never had a chance to actually get away. Nick had made sure of that as if he was scared you would actually get away from him. The forest seemed endless, you couldn’t reach a full omega sprint, and there were booby traps all over.

It had been at least ten minutes since Nick sounded that he had begun hunting, but you hadn’t heard him behind you. Despite constantly checking and listening for sounds, it seemed like you were alone.

You made it to a small stream, and it gave you a chance to splash some water over your face and try to wash your scent glands so that the smell wasn’t as strong. What you didn’t realise was this just washed your smell downstream and gave Nick a very easy way to find you.

The brush became thicker as you ventured further with heavy feet. Sick of the shoes, you tried to take them off, but Nick had tied them so tight you’d need a knife to cut them off.

Sweat dripped down your brow as the sun reached its peak. It was becoming hot, and it made the situation that much worse. 

This was by far the worst hike ever.

Just past the stream, across the path you were trying to take, laid a large, hollowed log. Part of you wanted to hide, but that seemed like a stupid idea. You began to climb the log to get over it.

As you slung your leg over the bark surface, a sickening shot sounded. You heard the whoosh of air before it hit you. An almighty pain on the back of your left thigh that had you howling into the warm air. “Fuck!”

You fell over the other side of the log, clutching at your thigh. “Fuck, fuck!”

It hurt like a bitch, but when you felt for a wound, you couldn’t find one. There was no bullet?

You didn’t have much time to inspect your injury, as you could hear the rustle of leaves under Nick’s boot as he began to approach. “Puppy, come out, come out, wherever you are.”

Something told you he knew exactly where you were. With a whimper, you picked yourself up and began running. Your trudged steps were staggered as you limped on your injured leg. Pain flared through your body as tears pricked at the corner of your eyes, your heart hammering in your chest.

There was fear, but something else too. A spark that lit you like a conduit, leaving your body buzzing with exhilaration. This was what it felt like to be alive.

“I can smell your cunt from here, puppy. You’re dripping, aren’t you?” Nick taunted, before taking another shot, this one landing on your left hip. 

You screamed out a cry, the bell on the collar becoming dislodged from its hiding spot on your neck, the jingling joining in with your distressed sounds.

Another shot whooshed past you, only just missing your head. Did he miss on purpose? Either way, it frightened you enough to bolt with all the energy you had.

You did exactly what Nick wanted you to, as while you ran at full speed, you weren’t looking out for tripwires.

An almighty yowl came from you when your ankle snagged a taut line of wire, causing it to snap. Within milliseconds, a large net scooped you up into the air, leaves and bark scattering around you from where the net lay hidden.

The thick rope burned against your skin as you writhed in the entrapment, hot tears wetting your cheeks. Nick came into view, smirking as your movements caused the net to swing in the air like an animal for the slaughter.

You wailed, gripping the ropes as you looked at your alpha below. Nick did always have a way of putting you in a cage. “Let me down!”

“Now, now. That’s no way to ask, is it?” Nick crossed his arms as if chastising you like a petulant child.

You huffed, squeezing your eyes shut. This was a sick joke you wanted no part of. “This isn’t funny!”

“I’m not laughing.” Nick was deadpan, and you were about ready to chew the rope to get out if you had to.

But there was no winning with Nick. The only option you had was to give him what he wanted. “Please, let me down.” 

“You can do better than that,” Nick sniped, blue azures watching you carefully with a mischievous twinkle.

“Alpha. Please, let me down from here.” You hated the way you sounded so desperate - but it’s because you were. Your stomach roiled with the way you were suspended in the air, anxiety nipping at your heart.

“Mm. What do I get in return, hm?” Nick mocked you, playfully poking you with the tip of the rifle so you swung in the air. “Maybe a really nice kiss?”

“Fine—”

“I hadn’t finished. A really nice kiss on my cock, omega. I want you drinking down all my seed until your belly is fucking full of me.”

A shudder ran through you, both of excitement and disdain. That was something he’d never asked of you, always too insatiable for your cunt. But right now, you’d do just about anything to not be suspended from a tree with a throbbing leg and hip. “Okay. Let me down, and I’ll give your cock a really nice kiss.”

“Deal.”

You hadn’t thought much about how you were going to get down, but you certainly didn’t expect Nick to pull out a hunting knife and cut the rope connector, causing you to drop to the ground ungracefully.

A yelp left you when you fell in a bundle of nets, still trapped on the ground as you’d got yourself snared.

“You really should be more careful, pup.” Nick used the same knife to cut you free. He pulled you out of the rope, sitting you down with your back to a nearby trunk so he could squat in front of you. His fingers grasped your chin as he inspected your face, grinning at you. “Glad to see there’s no damage to this pretty face.”

“You shot me,” you growled, anger clear in the way you were close to snarling at your alpha.

Nick scoffed, holding up the gun, which had a little orange tip on the barrel. It wasn’t real? “You’re being dramatic. It’s an air rifle.”

It explained the lack of injury. But it still hurt like hell. “You shot me.”

Nick smiled, a sickly grin that had you on edge. He hummed, slinging the gun over his shoulder with his jumper sleeves rolled up, tattoos on full display. “Yeah, I did. The pain is liberating, isn’t it? I bet if I dipped my fingers in your pussy right now they’d get soaked. Don’t play coy like you didn’t enjoy the hunt and the pain.”

Heat spread from your core all the way up to your cheeks. He was right. The chase had caused arousal like never before. But that didn’t mean you’d admit that to Nick. It was too vulnerable. “If the pain is so liberating, why aren’t you hurt?”

“Did you forget I can feel what you feel?” Nick pulled out his knife, twirling it between his fingers. Danger permeated from him, but not in a way that made you fearful for your safety. “Do you want me to bleed for you? Because I will. I’ll slice my own skin for you if you can prove to me that you’re not wet.”

You couldn’t prove that; your panties were drenched.

He moved closer, body encasing yours with your back to the tree trunk. Your breath hitched, unable to escape Nick’s intense aura, his eyes considering you before he got this look – one you’ve seen before – like you’d hung the stars and moon yourself. Your old alpha had looked at you the same.

Nick’s breath heated your skin as his lips ghosted over yours, his timbre low. “And you can slice my skin if you’re honest with me. Admit to me that you get off on this. You think I’m fucked up, and you’re not wrong. But you’re fucked up too, puppy. We’re fucked up together, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

Nick placed the knife toward your throat, the tip resting under your chin, so you had no choice but to stare at him. “Tell me I’m wrong, and I’ll stop.”

The part of you that wanted to fight had long died. Tears trickled down your cheeks as you thought. He wasn’t wrong, not in the slightest. The chase made you feel like you actually existed. For so long, in Nick’s home, you felt like a ghost that would only sometimes become material. But here, out in the wilderness with your alpha, this felt real.

The threat of pain was freeing, and it felt nice to be able to scream into the air without caring for repercussions. In this moment, there was no penalty for being the prey in Nick’s sick game.

He was right; you were fucked up. But Nick failed to recognise that you had become that way through his creation.

Nick took your hand, placing it over his that held the handle of the blade. You could kill him or yourself with just a flick of your wrist. It was powerful to feel the handle through Nick’s warm hands. He moved the knife from your throat, allowing you to take full control of the weapon.

The handle felt homely in your grasp, a sense of security held in the sharpness of the metal. Nick held out his palm, offering himself to you. If you did this, it confirmed every word Nick said.

He was turning you into the same monster he was. This wasn’t Beauty and the Beast. It was just two beasts, two fucked up souls reaching the same point of irredeemable.

You took a deep breath, your free hand steadying Nick’s palm before you brought the blade down to his skin. You just held it there, looking up to watch the way Nick was completely calm. There was no fear, no hesitation. Perhaps, marking him like this would give your own sense of ownership to your alpha. It would make it easier to live in a world where this man was your everything.

He took so much from you. It was only fair you could take some back in return.

If you were destined to spend the rest of your life with him, then maybe you could find your own happiness in taking from him as he does you. Your eyes turned back to his pale flesh before you let the sharp blade slice across his palm. It wasn’t a deep cut and wouldn’t need stitches. But blood seeped out the cut and pooled in his hand nonetheless.

Nick brought the injured hand to your face, cupping your cheek and letting his ichor mark your skin as if you wore the battle scars of his life essence.

It felt right. This was your life now, whether you liked it or not.

Nick closed the distance between you, smashing your lips together in a passionate kiss. All your thoughts flew away like the birds making their quick escape. As Nick’s teeth sunk into your lower lip, growling against your skin with a feral sound, you realised that you didn’t want to escape.

“Always and forever, puppy.”

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[sitp-recs]

hello liv, how are you doing? i hope you're alright :) ily and this blog <3 idk why im writing this, guess i just need someplace to talk. these days i feel very hopeless and tired, like i have no energy to do anything. and i absolutely adore drarry with all of my heart but lately even reading stories about my two favourite boys has become so hard, nothing holds my interest and i don't know what to do. i'm 19 so i feel like maybe it's too early to have this kind of existential dread. help pls lol

Hi darling, first of all I’m so so sorry for the huge delay in my response! I totally missed this ask a while ago and now I have no idea how long it’s been sitting in my ask box, I hope you’re still able to see this 💔

I’m really sorry things have been rough for you, I’m sending hugs and love your way. Every now and then I go through a burnout phase too, and even reading fic becomes a chore. I get anxious thinking “I should be spending all my free time reading and reccing!!” when in reality I don’t have any energy left to invest in it. It can be a really miserable feeling and it took me ages to accept that I should be gentler to myself and take breaks when that wave hits hard. I try to stay away from Tumblr and to focus on what brings me joy or, at least, some peace of mind at that moment. It could be playing with my dog, doing online shopping, listening to music, treating myself some ice cream, or just sleeping 12 hours on a Sunday. Don’t stress too much about fandom if that’s not what you need right now - the fics (and Tumblr) will always be there if/when you’re ready to come back.

Lastly, let me tell you this in case no one else has: you’re allowed to feel this way at 19. I hate it when people dismiss others’ struggles just because they’re supposedly too young or too old to deal with something. Every age has its challenges and to be honest I might have been happier in my 20s but I was also living under extreme stress, working & studying my ass off, facing family issues and trying to embrace the whole world without any reason and without enough resources or emotional intelligence, the only difference (and it was a major one!) is that back then I had a support network of family and friends that had my back. Now, the older I get the more I understand myself and am able to identify what/who I want to keep and what I’m ready to get rid of. So I wanted to validate your feelings first and foremost! Staying close to the ones that offer unconditional love and support (and away from toxic relationships - another lesson I had to learn the hard way) helped me too so I hope you can count on those as well.

I hope you’re able to fall back in love with Drarry or find something new to be passionate about, something that sparks the light inside you again. Every now and then I welcome a new obsession to feel that thrill! Until then stay safe and take care of yourself. It gets better 🫂

Edit: I don’t have the authority/feel confident to talk clinically about mental health issues, but tips and comments in the notes are more than welcome! Thanks @thegreatzeldini

[samsflannel]

survey results are in!

sorry, this is gonna be a long post. yesterday i posted a survey with a list of polls regarding Supernatural, and it was SO much fun. I got over 300 responses, which was A LOT to sort through for the short responses, but I’ve gathered all the “data” and here it is! My responses to each poll will be under the screenshots (they are in groups of 2). I’m going to include the short answer responses in another post. ENJOY!

1. Starting off strong.

2. Pleased with this one as well.

3. Yep, I expected this response from most of us.

4. Sami, I made the wincest and destiel response just for you. YW.

5. CMON YOU GUYS......live a little!!! samjack sexy

6. I’m not really surprised that Playthings got the bulk of votes here, but I think my vote would have been 8x23.

7.  :)

8. i’m disappointed that more people didn’t choose the yellow one tbh

9. it is sexy. it is. wake up.

10. i love Dean, but he’s definitely an asshole. and that’s what makes him a great character!

11. hehe.....i understand why not a lot of people picked noncon bait....u r valid its ok im gross.

12. WHO THE FUCK PICKED NO......have you ever consumed media

13. WBK.

14. damn, Dean kinda got the short end here! a lot of samgirls took this survey

15. i get why you wouldn’t like Bugs bc it does have harmful stereotypes about native ppl but the rest of it is peak season 1 wdymmm

16. almost 50/50 here! old vs new fans we love to see it. I am definitely wincest old guard.

17. YEP. Eric Kripke needs shock therapy for that one

18. The fact that some people admitted to being dry.....tragic. I think Eileen is a great character but they are NOT endgame.

19. SO YOURE JUST GONNA SIT THERE AND ADMIT HOW WRONG YOU ARE??

20. ugh. yeah. same.

21. who tf picked blue. cmon. red meat incest agenda.

22. SAM MOMMY MILKERS!!!!! hucow sam <3

23. Mixed on this one! My response is obviously yellow :)

24. I do think Bobby favored Dean somewhat.

25. Johnzazel agenda so true

26. HIGHKEY CANON. AND SEXY

27. someone requested a combination of blue and yellow and you’re so right i apologize.

28. mixed on this one for top vs bottom fans! almost a 50/50 split

29. ANNA DID NOTHING WRONG

30. I can’t believe this one is almost 50/50. Ruby girlboss you guys are haters

31. again. admitting you’re dry. THEY FUCKED

32. yeah :(

33. Q-anon level conspiracy theory.

34. I actually fall into the blue. I do believe Cas was in love with Dean, but not the other way around. I think Cas loving Dean makes wincest so much more spicy

35. I love sam so much

36. those of you who answered yes........join my movement.

37. c’mon. even if you don’t ship wincest you need to admit this one.

38. sorry this one was self-indulgent.

39. JESS PEGGED SAM.

40. idk, i personally think Cassie deffo pegged Dean. She has top energy.

41. So all the people who answered no have definitely not read the fic (were too young to remember it) or are squicked by underage which is ok! its one of those fics i read back in 2010 so i have fond memories of it

42. hahahah you guys were mean on this one

43. it’s canon bro sorry

44. thank god this one was majority yellow

45. i give wincestiel a valid pass! dean has multiple holes

46. Jack is hole <3

47. I actually think both are great (and ppl were mad I didn’t have that option srry) but deanpussy is incredible and underrated.

48. SEXY>>>>>>

49. thank you for enabling me.

50. can you guess the redacted part? it was: insert various objects into himself :))))

51. ok heres the big question! i’m not surprised ilysmmbb won, but i personally vote for “yeah, there he is” !! i think its underrated and such a tender moment.

52. i’m in the blue. i like cas.

53. i actually am in the yellow on this one. i think its more realistic, although blue is hot forsure

54. top 3 cas moment right there.

55. objectively yes on this one. thank god for COVID- *gets shot at*

56. sorry this was shady i’m not really like this usually haha. i think death is my fave besides Rowena

57. obviously i’m in the red. i’m shocked that so many people said Yes.......

58. Clearly.

59. I enjoyed fan fiction! i love campy episodes as you all know (like Dog Dean afternoon and such) so i loved fan fiction. it was a nice nod to someone like me who has been watching for a long time.

60. HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHO ANDY IS. i wish he would have been in the show longer........

61. uh....yeah.

62. Yeah c’mon. Dean would and you know it.

63. Thank god you guys didn’t fuck this up. I would agree, but Corbett is a close second for me.

64. IN THE RED BABY!!!!

65. we love a man bleeding out. we do.

66. i actually think misha is chill with J2 but.....you can’t deny J3 have more chemistry.

67. I uh......don’t think Dean would be a great father. is this me projecting my own issues with my father onto Dean? maybe,,,,

68. i’m surprised this was so negative! I think i would be interested

69. thanks for reading my shitty poetry!! i also had s4 dean in mind when writing this

70. CMON.....ITS KINDA SEXY CMON.......that spice of battered wife syndrome.......violent man in the house.......sam beaten down....im barking

71. haha yessss go yellow.

72. go yellow again.

73. I think I would actually vote yellow on this one. what a sweet and beautiful thing to say to someone, and its so very DEAN.

74. mhm. i think so. 

75. SEXY CONTROLLING OLDER BROTHER!!!!!

76. no idea why people answered yes to this one. that punch was fucked up. was it sexy? thats another story,,

77. WOKE. 

78. I do. I love pilot Dean.

79. Dean is a carfucker. any side of the fandom can recognize that

80. thank you GREEN!!!!!!

81. Sam is bi wtf! Sera Gamble erasure

82. Padackles commune <33333 they all fuck and they don’t know whose kid is whose!!!! (not really but this is sexy)

83.  THESE BROTHERS ARE WEIRD FOR SURE.

[phoenixyfriend]

I am seized by a fatal need for courtroom ninja drama fic

But not serious courtroom drama. I'm talking Phoenix Wright style Nonsense.

(Some of this was provided by the folks over in @sloaners​‘ server, but the bulk of it was me spitballing nonsense at people who actually know the games, which I do not. I do paraphrase a few times to make it more feasible as a tumblr post/fic concept, rather than a rapidfire text conversation.)

Or one of those like. Reality TV paternity test things? But specifically in my mind the people involved in the actual paternity are a married couple and someone that joined them to be their third, and Clan Elders are throwing a fit about how the baby might not be the heir by blood! while the actual parents are like "I could not care less, this is our child, all three of us, please stop getting involved."

HashiMitoMada would be a VERY good option for the paternity nonsense, mostly because I can see Madara screeching at his own elders about how he already said Izuna would be his heir and he's not changing his mind!

Tobirama is just begging the paternity test to work faster off-screen because he's the only person with the machines to make it happen.

(Hashirama is just. Moping in a corner.)

"I just had to INVENT a paternity test that works before the birth! I had to figure out how to test amniotic fluid! If you assholes make me do something this stupid on such short notice again, I will be digging some shallow graves!" "...for who?" "I haven't decided yet."

Anyway, jumping back to like a Phoenix Wright-style murder investigation.

The victim was Danzo. Even the prosecution isn't actually that interested in making sure someone gets arrested, but they're legally obligated to do at least try. A bunch of people all acting really suspicious about who killed him. There is at least one shitty fake mustache-on-glasses disguise to provide a paper-thin alibi.

WAIT The other thing this gives us is ninjas in three-piece-suits but half of them wear the suits wrong. I’m talking mismatched buttons. The wrong way of tying their tie. Sewn-on-cufflinks. This is Naruto, for instance.

Tobirama would wear it properly, except he's rushing about in a lab coat, screaming at everyone to get out of his way because he's The Entire Forensics Team.

(This is the part where I have to confess that I have only seen the live-action movie of Phoenix Wright, as I don't game, so I just have the live action and tumblr osmosis.)

At this point, of course, we gotta ask: Who is the most Belligerent Witness And who is the Helpful™️ Witness that's super enthusiastic but entirely useless

I can see, say, Mito being a solid witness that both defense and prosecution are really thankful for.

Modern gen you have like... Sasuke and Neji are both incredibly belligerent witnesses. Neji at least is polite about it but pulls the "only answers with the absolute minimum of information."

Lee and Gai would have the over enthusiasm but forget to say actual vital testimony until pressed, and Naruto would love to help but might not be entirely sure what the case even is.

Shikamaru falls asleep when the lawyers consult their partners. Prosecution A consults Prosecution B for thirty-seven seconds, then turns around and the witness is asleep at the stand.

Tobi (as in Obito with mask) is an incredibly frustrating witness. They have to declare a recess just so all the lawyers can recover their blood pressure. "Can we please get someone up on the stand with this guy as a handler? I'm--I'm going to explode."

Gaara: Helpful. Polite. Answers with detail. Answers the spirit of the question as well as the letter. Includes more detail. That's too much detail. Gaara please stop telling us about the sounds that bones make.

His testimony just drags on forever.

Ninken can and will take the stand! Pakkun even enjoys it! Some ninken require translators.

ABURAME TRANSLATING FOR A RANDOM GIANT CENTIPEDE THAT WITNESSED A MURDER IN THE FOREST OF DEATH

There are arguments about whether or not the testimony can count since nobody else can confirm the translation except Other Aburame so how do they know the Aburame aren't part of the coverup.

"Okay, so this Danzo guy had like fifty shell companies but I think I found the route that leads back to him?" "Nah, that one goes to a guy that died eighty years ago that's still collecting pensions: his family lied and said he was still alive for the money." "Fuck!"

Also I just. I love the idea of Sasuke and Madara being the exact opposite kind of belligerent witness.

Also, Orochimaru answers with pretty much the exact kind of wording as Gaara, but where Gaara is trying to be helpful and provide detail for the sake of the case, and failing to see that it's maybe not necessary, Orochimaru just wants to see people squirm. ...similar thing happens with Sakura and Kabuto. Similar phrasing, very different energy.

I keep picturing all of Team Taka as part of Forensics and Evidence Collecting ajshakshjd

Juugo, holding up a rabbit: I found a witness.

Karin joins forensics and Tobirama nearly weeps from joy until he finds her criminal record "Shit, that was supposed to get thrown out when I turned eighteen."

Tobirama: I asked for an assistant, not a criminal. Karin: I'm on parole. Tobirama: That makes things worse. Karin: I know how to use a [concerningly advanced machine that I, a business major, cannot name]. Tobirama: ...never mind, I'm keeping you.

Karin: I know how to DNA sequence AND use LA-ICP-MS Tobirama: [weeps with joy]

Suigetsu would be great at blood splatter analysis. ...I think I read somewhere that blood spatter analysis is actually over in 'fake science that's pushed by cops and media but actually doesn't work' BUT apparently it’s in the Ace Attorney games so we’re going to ignore reality a bit. We’ve already got dogs and rabbits and centipedes as witnesses, what’s a bit of blood spatter?

He's also probably really good at cause of death stuff? Like looking at corpse and figuring out how long it took the victim to die, which blow did it, whether any damage was inflicted post-mortem, etc.

Sasuke is usually too busy playing Belligerent Witness but sometimes goes to join Taka for... uh... reasons.

Juugo: [takes the stand] Lawyer: Hey, uh, why's that Uchiha guy with him? The witness-- Judge: No, no, we need Uchiha Sasuke on hand when questioning Expert Animal Handler Juugo. Lawyer: ...why? Judge: Property damage.

(Sasuke as a work partner with Juugo, also moonlighting as a witness/suspect in Danzo's murder.)

One time they need Juugo but can't find him even though court is already in session and he said he'd be here, turns out he was lured away by Kakashi's army of dogs. Kakashi didn't notice until he turned to ask Pakkun if he could help find the missing expert.

Juugo is a decent lab assistant, I think?

Anyway.

Tobirama taking on Team Taka as his forensics team while Orochimaru is... hm... traveling the country to promote his new autobiography, which is outselling the newest Icha Icha to Jiraiya's ire.

Sloane suggested “a case where it's all the Sannin as suspects in a murder. They would be THE WORST, say... the murder of Hanzo.”

To which I suggested “The Sannin are all suspects but the people on trial are the Ame trio, maybe?”

Which garnered the response of “It could be a surprise upset IN COURT that the trio should be on trial.”

We love a court upset.

Suigetsu finds out that the cause of death was actually an entirely natural heart attack, but while he was determining this, the rest of the team and the lawyers found like eight conspiracies by Zetsu, three by Danzo, four by Orochimaru, and an entire network of nonsense by Sasori.

INO IS THE PSYCHIC. I know her thing in canon is reading minds but pls. Ino is Maya. The Spirit Medium.

Is the judge: 1. Hiruzen 2. Hashirama 3. Hagoromo 4. Mifune 5. The Daimyou

(Old dude with authority, optionally easily distracted/questionably competent. I'd have gone for impressive facial hair but only Mifune and Hagoromo have more than like... Hiruzen's weird soul patch.)

It's not a soul patch but I don't know what facial hair is called and I can't just call it a goat beard

Response commentary was as follows: The Daimyou would unfortunately be closer to the personality of the ace attorney judge, more blindly agreeing with things that sound good :joy: Hiruzen could be fun if only for the competing facial hair for a beard, yes xD Hagoromo would possibly be most buckwild tho WELCOME TO MOON COURT

I managed to get this far with like... NO idea who the judges were except “IDK maybe Kakashi?” but consider:

...HashiMada rival lawyers

Dropping over to Izuna vs. Touka for when Hashirama and Madara inevitably become suspects of something or other themselves and have to be witnesses.

(Tobirama's too busy running blood tests, Anija, let Touka handle it, she's better at people anyway.)

...Hashirama is like. Marginally more put-together than Madara, right? So that... makes him Edgeworth... somehow... That feels wrong but Madara as Edgeworth feels even more wrong.

Madara is very into screaming OBJECTION

ALSO consider: Friction when a doctor from a nearby hospital gets called in to provide expert testimony on something because Karin is like "no hey I should be the one doing this" and then she sees how cute Sakura is.

But also at some point Kakashi vs. Gai for a nonsense case. Their personalities are both VERY FUN for this sort of thing.

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 12: Final Home Exercise Program

Characters: Captain Syverson x OFC (Shane Dawson)

Summary: Our lovers spend one last night together and the next morning have a serious discussion about their future after more new information comes to light about Sy’s upcoming training. Can the new relationship sustain the stress? Are Shane’s feelings justified, or can they overcome what lies before them?

Spoilers suck! Start from the top or wherever you left off HERE!

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, smut, angst…well, near angst. As angsty as I get.

Author’s Note: Sorry this has taken so long, my darling dears! I’m currently on vacation and although I was hoping to be inspired by new surroundings, it’s given me WICKED writer’s block! I have a pretty solid plan for more chapters, though, so, buckle up!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags: 

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland (apparently deactivated, idk what’s up with that)

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

@suavechops

@radkesgirl83

@wheretheriversrunintothesea

@heartfelt-pen

@auds24

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Sy's last two PT appointments could not have gone better. On paper, anyway. He was at full strength in his injured knee, his range of motion was better than it was in the so-called good knee, and he hadn't complained of pain above a 2/10 in the last five sessions. He'd even been using the treadmill properly the last two weeks, working up to his own goal of running again. Her goals for him were met…they could have probably stopped a session short, but she'd wanted to give him a few more handouts to finalize his HEP…and well, she'd be in major trouble for saying so, but…she couldn't stand the thought of cancelling that last visit. It felt like quitting, even though it would have been justified.

In practice, however, there was a tension between them that had never existed before. Something creating awkward energy that they couldn't seem to shake. They hadn't seen each other much outside of therapy this week, either. Not since the night of their argument. Sy had to do a lot of prep for his trip to Virginia, and Shane's caseload this week had been ridiculous. Dozens of evaluations and updates and calls to various companies on different kinds of splints and orthotics she was hoping to get for a few of her patients. A lot of time spent on the phone meant a lot of after-hours documentation. She needed a break. Even if it meant she'd have to do some work over the weekend. Sy was leaving tomorrow to get settled in Charlottesville before the big training course began. She didn't want them to be apart on his last night home for a month.

"Hey, as a celebration of your discharge from PT and your new career trajectory, how about dinner on me tonight?"

"But…you don't really want me to leave town…or to be done with therapy. Not that I, myself, won't miss you feeling me up in public." he smirked as she took his last set of range of motion measurements, her hands gently holding one arm of her goniometer to the side of his thigh…suddenly too aware of him.

"Not entirely true. I'm glad you're better, I'll just miss seeing you through the day. It breaks up the…" she sighed "the monotony of my daily life. Also, why would I want you to leave town? What would that say about me as your girlfriend?" she explained.

"S'pose you're right."

"In this case, yes. Yes I am." She winked at him.

They finished up and she gave him a few more exercises to keep in his arsenal to maintain strength and range in both knees.

"Okay, now, I won't be around to harass you about these, but keep doing them regularly, and just modify them as I've notated if they get too easy. Try to just do more reps, though. I wouldn't try to bulk it up just yet, and that's what you'll do with more weight added."

"Yes, ma'am." he said for old time's sake. She shook her head and smirked.

"And listen, please. This is your physical therapist talking right now. Be careful and mindful during … your cross country training." she wanted to call it "Survivor-Virginia," but refrained. She knew it would get his hackles up. And she was taking enough of a chance insisting that he be careful. "Nature has perils for the perfectly fit. The already injured are at a disadvantage from the gate. Mind your footing. And try not to run unless you have to. Uneven surfaces are not your friend just yet. You still need to work up to that. If you want, I'll help you with it when you get back. Just…don't undo all this work we've done together."

He seemed to see his woman peeking out from behind the mask of his therapist. Concern coloring the neutral and clinical advice she was giving him.

"I'll do my best, sunshine." he held her by the arms and kissed her forehead. It felt too intimate for the setting, but they had done worse. "I'll see ya tonight then?"

"Yeah, I'll bring some food by your place after work. What do you want?"

"Hmmm…I'll let you know." he kissed her cheek and left.

The next hour was her lunch, so she had time to contemplate what seeing him walk out for the last time had made her feel. She sighed, and started to well up, getting out her lunch bag to begin eating and documenting when a knock came at the door frame.

It was Sy, looking forlorn and manic and altogether a mess. Very unlike himself.

"I got out to the truck and something just felt wrong about the way I left today. As if it was any other day. Not our last session. You were trying to get that to land…I'm a little slow. But I finally got it." he walked to her, grabbing her up from her chair in a hug that mended all of the broken parts of her. Squeezed her back together when she'd been damn near falling apart. "Shane, you…you did more than just make me better. You've…made me better. Happier. Whole. I'll never be able to thank you properly for all of this, but…I intend to try for as long as you'll let me."

He held her while her tears fell softly onto his Def Leppard shirt. This was what she needed. For him to simply hold her, complete her, love her.

"Also, I think I'd like Chinese food tonight." she laughed into his neck.

"You idiot."

"You still like me."

"I do. And you don't need to worry about thanking me, Sy. You return the favor daily by just…being you…and being mine." She pulled him in to a ferociously sexy kiss, her hands in his hair, still too short for her liking, but getting there.

He broke away, neither wanting it to end, but both knowing it must, all the same.

"I thought we couldn't do this at your work?" he inquired, slightly out of breath.

"We couldn't do this while you were a patient. You're officially discharged. Last appointment over. All I have to do is sign your note and it's a done deal. But now…if you wanted to drop by for lunch sometime when you get back from training for your fancy job…we could…make it a regular occurrence." she smiled up into his entrancing blue eyes, sparkling with promise.

"I like the sound of that, sunshine." he gave her one more chaste kiss before his official goodbye. "See ya tonight."

As she watched him leave, she remembered thinking to herself one day how he probably used to take very confident strides…that hardly did his walk justice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She ordered their favorites, four entrees total, so they had options, crab rangoon, egg rolls, dumplings, the works. She would be happy to eat off the leftovers all weekend. She wasn't fussy. She loved leftover Chinese takeout.

He met her at the door, having advance warning of her arrival from the canine burglar alarm, Aika.

"You got her. Good girl." he said sweetly thanking the pup for sounding off the Twilight Bark throughout the neighborhood.

"Hello!" She handed off the food to Sy and scratched at the German Shepherd's ears the way she liked, her tail wagging with joyous speed.  

"I thought we could set up a buffet on the coffee table downstairs while we watch TV?"

"Sounds great!" She said, with an enthusiasm that sounded almost forced. She wasn't able to fully shake this foreboding she felt saying goodbye to him, no matter how long they'd be apart.

Sy grabbed plates and silverware while Shane got them some beverages, and they headed downstairs, Aika knowing her boundaries did not extend to the basement except by invitation, whined at their descent. Sy wasn't having it.

"Oh, don't give us that sob story, ya brat." he rolled his eyes at Shane.

"Aww, can't she come down with us?"

"No way. I want you all to myself." a devilish smirk twitched up the corners of his mouth making him even more handsome.

"Aika has nothin' on you. You're the real dog." she teased.

"I make no excuses or arguments. I'm gonna be selfish with you tonight." they put the food and supplies on the coffee table and he caught her up into his arms. He seemed to want to inhale her into his lungs.

"Mmmm, as endearing as I've always found generosity, I really like the sound of that." She let out a huff of amusement.

They spent an uncharacteristically short amount of time choosing something to watch. They'd already started a miniseries together, and they wanted to finish it before Sy left. It was a British political thriller with a lot of intrigue and quite a bit of sex. They only had two hours left, so they finished it quickly as they ate.

They decided to put on something familiar afterward. Die Hard. Which they both quoted with ridiculous precision. They were cuddled into each other on the big sectional, lulled into comfort by the familiar security of the dialogue and the warmth of the other.

Soon, Sy's hand found its way to Shane's thigh. It inched its way inside and up. She felt like he could hear her heart rate quicken, just as she knew he could hear her breaths come with more effort due to his touch.

She looked at him, and despite her apprehension about his decision to leave her so early in their relationship, she wanted him. She'd known for so long now. It felt like forever, for longer than they'd even known one another. A ridiculous notion. But with that same gaze, she begged him to continue. The signal was not lost on the captain. His mouth punished hers in a kiss so deliciously violent and needy she thought there was no way he couldn't feel the same for her. She pushed to the back of her busy mind all of the negative emotions the kiss brought up, the confusion as to how and why he was going to leave her when he clearly needed her just as badly as she needed him, and just let this beautiful moment become what it would.

As hard as that was to do.

The way he touched her was a pretty effective distraction. One hand held her firmly against his mouth by the nape while the other built friction in her over her jeans. She felt her body's primal responses of the building pressure and her hands gripping at his shirt. His guttural moan at her answering touch only fueled the inferno in her. She needed more of him. She thrust up into his hand wantonly. He took himself away from her, cruelly, but to be so very kind, she would soon see. He undid her jeans and tugged them down, along with her panties. In the process, he repositioned her conveniently at the edge of the sofa. He scooted the coffee table out of the way enough to kneel before her. He tortured her with kisses from her knee up her inner thigh on both sides before continuing those kisses where she really needed them.

His warm breath hit her first and she arched, aching in anticipation for the corporeal. He looked up at her with his dervish's grin, seeing the desire on her face and feeling it course through her body, and although he was a better man than her previous lovers, and a better man than most, no man was so good that making his woman feel like this didn't make him feel like a god.

"Darlin', you're so gorgeous like this." he said as he teased her with his mouth. Her words failed. She had only unintelligible syllables for him. He didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed thoroughly amused by her speechlessness. Amused and encouraged. She'd never felt like this before. His lips and tongue worked over her trembling flesh, both as familiar paths and brand new territory. Discovering the new and remembering the familiar, all at once.

"Sy." she whispered, so close to her peak, and needing him to continue, but unable to do more than moan his name.

"I know, sugar. I know it won't be long. Whenever you're ready, sweetheart."

And she fell apart under his expert touch. He soothed her body down from the climax and asked her if she was ready for bed.

"I think not!" she replied. "The movie isn't over." and she pulled him up to her by the cheeks into another crushing kiss and guided him to the couch. She kicked her bottoms off her ankles to avoid tripping and repositioned herself between his legs as he'd done with her.

"You don't have to, sunshine." he caressed her jaw.

"I know, babe. I want to. Let me do this for you." He was always eager to taste her but she'd yet to return the favor at his own request. She was done letting him decline. She didn't want him leaving without giving him this small parting gift.

It wasn't as if she was unfamiliar with how big he was. She'd touched him, and had him inside her…but seeing him this close was different. She fully appreciated what a feat it was to take him.

She started in with her own tricks, which made him moan, just as planned. His hands laced gently and lovingly in her hair as she worked her mouth and hands over him. She looked up at him after a few moments to gauge his reaction and couldn't have been more pleased. His expression was one of pure, tortured bliss. She felt so powerful.

"Angel, I'm not gonna last much longer." she took that as her cue to get on top of him.

She joined their bodies with a groan of ecstasy that he echoed. She gripped his shoulders as she moved against him, slow and measured at first, but becoming more frantic and erratic as she chased her climax. One hand remaining on her hip, the other came to her chin and directed her gaze to him. Her eyes, blazing with desire, met his, full of tears. She fell against his lips, as she climbed higher, needing that final push to send her over. Which it did, tumbling into that familiar bliss, that she'd have to savor for…well, too long. She didn't want to think too hard about that. This would be their last night together for several weeks. And she wanted to make the most of it. She looked at him, nodded, and after a few more thrusts, he came to his own pinnacle with a shudder beneath her, clutching at her back, resting his head on her sternum. She held him there, and took a few cleansing breaths with her own cheek pressed against his lengthening hair. She stroked the ones at the back of his neck for a moment as they came down from their impossible high.

"Shall we continue this upstairs?" she asked as the cheery, festive, and entirely out-of-season notes of "Let It Snow" played on the TV with the rolling credits of Die Hard. He grinned.

"Yeah, if I still have bones in my legs." he kissed her neck, just above the collar of her tee. "And I'll come down later and clear all this up. We'll just have to close the door so Aika doesn't come down and have herself a party. She's a good dog, but I'm not about to tempt her."

Shane carefully slid off of Sy's lap, attempting not to make too much of a mess, grabbed her panties and slipped them on for the walk to Sy's room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The musical chiming of Sy's phone alarm came too damned early. They'd barely slept, not wanting to waste a moment together. When they finally nodded off after their last round of fervent love-making, they wrapped themselves around one another and were both out like lights in no time. Now he was untangling himself from her to turn the noise off and presumably begin the process of getting ready to leave for the airport. He only snoozed it, though, and pulled her more tightly against his bare, hairy chest.

"What time is it?" She asked, bleary from lack of sleep and extreme fatigue. Not that she was complaining.

"Seven. But my flight doesn't leave until 10, and it's just from the base. There's a flight leaving there for  Charlottesville-Albemarle Airport and I'm hitchin' a ride with them."

"Oh good. I had anticipated we'd have to drive to Springfield, or even St. Louis this morning." She would do it for Sy, of course, but she wasn't looking forward to a six hour minimum round trip, half of which she would have to make alone.

"Nah, and I'm hoping to work something out for the return trip, too, but I'll let you know about that, then. I've made those open ended, though, because I don't know about the return date."

"Sure. God, that's so…crazy. Not in a bad way, just, I can't imagine leaving home without a clear plan on when I'd be back. Of course, knowing it won't be more than a month helps, I guess."

"Yeah."

"And really, a part of me has dreamed of living a sort of nomadic existence since I was very young, so I definitely see the romance in it."

"Totally agree. Hey, I'm hungry. How about we get ready and I'll buy ya breakfast?" He seemed evasive, but she was hungry, too, so she let it go.

"Sounds great!"

They got up and showered together, keeping the sexy time to a minimum given the current time constraints they'd now placed upon themselves. If they didn't hurry, they'd never get out of Cracker Barrell in time to get him to the base.

He loaded his bag in her cargo space and they headed off to the restaurant, which was hopping with traffic on a Saturday morning, as was expected. But since there were only two of them, they got a table without waiting.

They ordered coffees, and Cokes, not super healthy, but hey, this wasn't a daily occurrence. It was a splurge.

Sy ordered some massive and meaty breakfast spread that sounded like a heart attack waiting to happen, while Shane kept it simple with biscuits and gravy and a side of fruit…also, she stole a strip of Sy's bacon. Again…she was a weak woman.

The conversation was light and friendly and lovey…until the time came to leave. Sy picked up the check and took it to the counter to pay and then led her out the double doors back to her vehicle.

"You'll be able to FaceTime me on evenings you haven't gone walkabout in the wilderness, right?"

"I'm not sure they call it that outside of Australia, or even the Crocodile Dundee movies, but yeah, we'll plan on that, for sure."

"Good. I'll miss you so much. But at least I have a pretty good idea of when you'll be back." she was spouting excitedly, but he was being rather cagey again. He piped up with three words that never start off a good sentence.

"Yeah, about that…" she looked at him as they closed the doors to her Explorer, waiting for him to continue…hoping for good news, but expecting bad.

"I got an email last night…late…that I…that the training…might take longer than they told me at first." he winced for the impact of her reception of the anticipated bad news.

"Longer…uh-huh. How much longer?" she asked, backing out of her parking space.

"Ya know if you back into these spaces you don't have to worry about--"

"Really? This is the moment you want to man-splain the concepts of parking to me, Sy? I'll save you the trouble. My dad couldn't get me to do it, and I don't see you having any success, either. Now, how much longer?"

"I don't…they didn't give a concrete--"

"Give me your best guess based on what you know. Give me a range. A ballpark, if you will."

"Uhh…two or three more…weeks…than planned." he winced as she drove toward Fort Leonard Wood Army Base from the peaceful breakfast joint. It was rather poetic, really, since the conversation had turned from relaxed to militant. And they were driving from civilian territory into a land of combatants. Not a war zone, but a zone of warriors, perhaps. And she was ready for battle, herself.

"Sy. That's more than six weeks."

"I know." he said, his eyes downcast in some combination of shame, fear, and sadness.

"And you're…fine with it?" she prodded, prompting him to consider her.

"Of course I don't like it. I'm gonna hate being away from my sunshine for even a week. But this is…it's about who I am. Who I'm meant to be from now on. I have to find my way from here, Shane."

"I guess my only question is…where do I fit into this…path. This life you're making for yourself? We're brand new. But we've worked really hard already to get where we are. And I've worked really hard to get to where I am, professionally. In my dream job. No, the circumstances aren't ideal, but the work makes me think, and gives me purpose. What am I suppose to do? Either I give that up, or I give up…the only man I've ever been with who's made me actually happy."

"I don't want that. I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to give anything up for me, darlin.' That'll just lead to you resentin' me down the road, and I don't want that, neither." He stopped a moment and just looked at her, face holding back frustrated and angry tears…but also very sad ones. "What about this? Let's just, talk about all this moving forward stuff when I'm back from training. At that point, I'll know more about what to expect about jobs and assignments. And…if it would make you feel more comfortable…we can call ourselves…unexclusive. That way, if you meet someone while I'm gone--"

"Have you lost your mind?" She interrupted his ridiculous attempt to be selfless. She was secure enough in his feelings for her that he wasn't making the suggestion for himself.

"I'm serious. If you meet someone, and he sweeps you off your feet, don't resist. I want you to be happy, Shane."

"Then come back and teach gym at the local high school. Better yet, don't go, at all."

"You remember all that stuff you said about having your dream job and a purpose?" Shane nodded. "You want me to find all that too, don'tcha?"

"No. I'm a selfish bitch who wants you here with me no matter the cost. And I don't care if you resent me in the long run. At least I'll have you." she laughed at her sarcasm and only slightly true self-deprecation.

"You'll be fine. You managed so far without me." he reminded her as she pulled up to the gate, guarded by about four men, who's rank she couldn't tell, but one of whom Sy called a sergeant.

"I'll get out here and they'll take me to the hangar in a cart. No civilian vehicles allowed today. Apparently they're doing maneuvers." he shrugged and got out to grab his bag.

"I put the rest of the takeout in here too. It's in one of my nice coolers on ice."

"Thanks." she told her shoes as they stood under the shade of her rear access hatch. She couldn't look at him right now. He made her, though.

"This ain't quite like the airport, but I still don't have a lot of time, sunshine." he kissed her hard, and it really felt like a goodbye, which almost hurt more than his leaving. Almost. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, and she knew she'd feel that embrace all evening. She hoped it would last for weeks.

"I love you, Sy." she sobbed to him. Trying like hell to keep it together.

"I love you, darlin.' Now don't you forget that when some other handsome fella gives you the eye. Make sure he's worth it, if you're gonna write me a dear john letter." he winked at her. She laughed and nodded, but didn't feel it was that funny, and didn't intend to adhere to his parameters of their relationship. He ducked under the arm that was preventing her from driving through. Although, legs as long as his, he almost could have stepped over it. She watched him walk away for as long as she could before she was given the signal that she must leave and let other traffic through…although, she resented this. There were two lanes, after all. Couldn't these men see what a mess she was? She'd just had to say goodbye to the love of her life…and she didn't know when…or indeed, if…she'd see him again. She had hope…but that didn't stop her from crying all the way home and the rest of the afternoon as the ghost of Sy's parting hug faded from her skin.

Up Next: Chapter 13: SNAFU

[gaemkyuu]

I’m Right Here (Owen Joyner x Fictional Character

Warnings: anxiety attack and self-deprecation A/N: Sorry this one took so long! The fictional character has been shamed for her anxiety from her parents. The experience of an anxiety attack is based on the ones I have. It’s different for everyone. Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece! In no way do I claim characters in this piece act this way in real life.

Masterlist *now taking requests ;)

I’m Right Here

“Hey Jade! Wait up!” Jade was walking out of her trailer and on her way to her car, until she heard Owen call out for her. She paused and turned around to face the tall blonde, who stopped in front of her slightly out of breath. He bent slightly over his knees, catching his breath and still in costume.

“Aren’t you supposed to be filming a scene right now?” she cocked her eyebrow at him and rested a hand on her hip. They were on set filming for Julie and the Phantoms season 2, and Jade was brought in as a minor character as a part of Carrie’s posse. She didn’t have any major dialogues save the one or two quips her character had, so she was mostly there for the dance portions. That often meant she was able to leave set earlier or she had less days on set than others.

“Yeah, they’re setting up, but I wanted to catch you before heading out” Owen started to shift his weight from leg to leg and began to avoid eye contact. Jade felt butterflies in her stomach but immediately tried to suppress them, knowing that what she hoped was happening was probably not. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, only for them to be deflated. “You got any plans Tomorrow night?”

“Just snuggling with my dog and drinking wine while singing karaoke” she mentally facepalmed herself at her honesty. She just sealed the deal on being forever single. Owen fidgeted and the air between them became awkward, no thanks to Jade’s awkward confession.

“Listen, I was wondering, and you can totally say no, if you wanted to maybe go to dinner with me? That’s if dinner is something you do, not like eat, because I’m sure you eat dinner, but if you don’t I’m not judging you. I mean like dinner dinner, y’know?” the boy looked frazzled and a little desperate to stop his verbal diarrhea from making him look even stupider than he did in that current moment. 

“Like a date?” Jade hoped she wasn’t being too forward, but then again, a girl had to know. Owen gave her a sheepish smile and a nod yes, instantly filling her with excitement. “YES! Uhm... I mean sound great. I’d totally love- i mean like to go on a date with you” she blushed furiously, hoping she didn’t sound too desperate or too excited.

“Great! I’ll pick you up at 7?” she nodded and he smiled turning around and jogging back to set. Jade felt like she could fly or bench press a bus. She always tried to deny having feelings for him, but whenever she was asked she would stumble over her words and everyone instantly knew. Savannah and Tori often teased her about her feelings and pushed her to ask him out, but she was too nervous. Correction, she was too afraid to be rejected.

Jade never thought of herself as anything more than a plain and ordinary girl who happened to be able to dance well. She wasn’t overly pretty but she wasn’t hideous either, and there were very little standout qualities. Most people described her as quiet, mousy with a pretty smile, but nothing ever more than that. She believed she got it from her family as they too were described similarly. Her mother was a dentist and her father worked at a law firm. She was an only child and they have always lived a comfortable life, so naturally Jade never had any interesting stories to tell. She was just your average plain Jane.

The drive back to her apartment was full of joy and she blasted the music in her car as she drove, singing along to every tune. She was extremely excited to go on this date and her enthusiasm carried on as she bounced to her apartment door and inside. Placing her keys on the counter by the door, she went to her closet to pick out the best outfit. Looking at the array of clothing, she picked out a few and sent them to her co-stars/best friends for their opinions. Unfortunately, they both had different ideas as to what she should wear that night.

Sav: go for something cute and conservative! Southern boys like all American girls!

Tori: go for something a little sexy Cali girl. Like I’m a good girl but I’m also capable of being bad too

Sav: for the first date? Idk...

Tori: Sav, do you really think Owen is only about them all American girls? He was the one talking about how peaches were a brilliant emojis for butts

Sav: point taken.

Sav: go for something that best represents you!

Jade: a paper bag?

Tori: really?

Tori: you are more than just a paper bag J

Sav: we gotta go, Kenny’s calling places. I’m sure what you’ll pick will be fine! Send us a pic!

Jade frowned that her friends couldn’t chat longer to help her, but she knew she had to do this on her own. After filing through clothing, she finally found something she liked but noticed that she had spent an hour picking an outfit. Owen would be by in two hours, meaning that she had to speed up her process if she didn’t want to feel rushed!

 She slipped stepping into the tub to take a shower, smashing her elbow on the towel bar. She quickly tried to rub the pain as she cursed under her breath. She had no time to be clumsy! She started her shower up and gracefully hopped in this time, hoping to avoid any further injury. After doing her daily hygiene routine, she applied the hair mask and wrapped it up in a shower cap, applying her face mask right after. She noticed that her legs felt the slightest bit fuzzy and cursed herself for not shaving in the shower. Quickly glazing at her phone for the time, she slathered on shaving cream and attempted to shave her leg using her bathroom counter, which was a mistake. She slipped, nicking her leg on the way down, bumping her head against the wall too.

“It’s fine, you’re fine, not a big deal Jade” she comforted herself. “Stick a Band-Aid on it and just wear jeans!”

She began to wash out the hair and facemask, making a mental note to patch herself up after. As she patted her face dry, she opened the medicine cabinet to grab a Band-Aid, when the lights shut off. Fumbling around for her phone, she quickly turned on the flashlight to find a Band-Aid and her bathrobe. Slipping on the robe, she made her way to the apartment breaker. Nothing had tripped on the breaker panel, but the power in her suite was completely shut off.

“That’s fine! You’ll just have to go with your natural curls instead of spicing things up with a straightener!” she could already feel the nauseous and claustrophobic feeling in her chest creep up on her, but she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Now was not a good time for her to have an anxiety attack. She had an hour and fifteen minutes before Owen came. Plenty of time... right?

Making her way over to her closet, she began to look for another outfit that would look good with the jeans that she had picked out. She tried on top after top, but nothing seemed to fit right. Giving a huff in frustration, she sat on the bed to take a deep breath. She had to get going if she was going to have enough time to do her makeup, but it seemed like life had other plans. All of a sudden, the fire alarm in the complex went off, indicating that everyone was being asked to evacuate. She jumped at the noise and quickly threw on a sweater, grabbing her passport, wallet, documents and phone before exiting the building with the other residents. 

It turned out to be a fire drill that was scheduled to happen last week, but Jade had completely forgotten about it. They all had to stand outside while the fire marshal cleared the building and checking the safety of it. By the time Jade had made her way back into the building and up to her suite, she had 30 minutes before Owen came over. She hated the outfit she was wearing, her hair was a mess due to the wind outside and she had no makeup on!

The feeling in her chest increased gradually as she rushed around the house, doing her best to multitask. The power came back on when she entered the suite, so she tried straightening her hair as the curls were a mess, but she underestimated her multitasking skills. She burnt herself multiple times as she tried to do her makeup and hair at the same time. It didn’t help that the bottom half of her hair was straight and the bottom half wasn’t, and her eyeliner was uneven. Looking at herself in the mirror stressed her out even more, so she washed her face and decided to restart. The alarm on her phone notified her that Owen would be at the door in 5 minutes, and that’s when everything bubbled over. Looking at her messy face, half done hair, wet shirt and jeans, she sniffled until the tears welled over. She sank to the bathroom floor feeling like an idiot. No normal person would be this upset over their appearance, so why was she? Would Owen think she was weird because of this? Would he even want to go out with her? Her breathing increased and she started to feel her ensuite close in on her, signaling a full blown anxiety attack.

Jade wasn’t comfortable talking about her anxiety. Her parents often made her feel like she was overreacting or seeking attention whenever they happened, but they never understood that if Jade had the choice, these things wouldn’t get to her. This feeling that you need to escape, but you don’t have the energy so you’re just a buzzing ball sitting in a deep dark hole. She would often cry during her attacks, ashamed that she lost control and ashamed that she got to this place. Her friends would tell her to seek professional help for it, but she waved them off knowing that if she did see someone, it would make things worse between her and her parents. She loved them a lot and often sought for their approval, and doing this would work against the hard work she put in to make them proud.

“Jade?...unlocked...hope that’s okay?... helloo?....dead?.... Jade?”

“Jade? Hey... Hey you’re okay...”

“Jade? It’s Owen.”

“Squeeze my hand if you hear me”

“Okay good. I want you to breathe with me”

“You’re doing great”

“That’s it”

“Breathe in for five, out for five”

“In five”

“Out five”

The murkiness of the voice became clearer and clearer as she regained control of her breathing. She began to feel a warmth enveloping her and holding her firmly. She wasn’t in the bathroom anymore but rather on the sofa in her living room with the balcony door open, letting in a cool breeze. 

“Jade?” She focused her attention on the blonde boy who sat beside her, his arm currently wrapped around her and the other holding her hand. “Hey” his smile was warm and understanding, but Jade couldn’t help the tears that came to her eyes. Seeing this, Owen knew immediately what was happening. Before the apology left her lips, Owen had already began to speak.

 “You have nothing to apologize for... Is this the first time?” She bowed her head sadly, wiping away the tears and shaking her head no. In this moment, she felt like a little kid getting into trouble, bracing herself for the disappointment she caused.

“Listen, I know how you feel. Your anxiety? Your panic? I feel it every day. You don’t have to be ashamed in front of me. Hell, you shouldn’t have to feel ashamed in front of anyone. Everyone goes through this right? Well obviously, in their own ways and not like you and me, but I think you get the point” his rant elicited a small chuckle from the girl. “Want to talk about it?”

Jade nodded her head, feeling comfortable around him. She recounted her struggles since getting home to the razor to the power to the fire drill up until their current moment. Owen was silent and attentive the entire time, hanging on to every word that came from her mouth.

“I mean, I’m flattered that you put in all this work to go on a date with me, but seriously, and I’m not saying this to like get on your good side or anything, but you don’t need all the makeup and stuff. You’re pretty pretty on your own” she smiled at his comment, grateful for the compliment as it made her feel better.

“Thanks, I’m sorry I ruined our date” he scoffed and shook his head, moving to the kitchen counter picking up the flowers he had brought for her.

“I was going to give these to you at the door, but seeing as the plans have changed, you should probably take them and put them in some water?” she blushed at the gesture and took them gratefully from him. As she puttered around the kitchen for some sort of vase, he tapped away on his phone. “Do you like pizza?”

“Owen, I LOVE pizza” he grinned back at her and tapped a couple more times on his phone. “What are you doing?”

“Bringing date night to us.” he replied simply, locking his screen and plopping down on the couch, clicking through the apps on the TV. “Alright, so you’re gonna show me your favorite musical and I will show you mine”

Jade thought that in order to make a good impression on a first date, you had to look perfect. Owen that night helped her see that when two people like each other, Pizza and Musicals are all you need on a first date.

[oofluc]

⌠ AXEL AURIANT, 20, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, LUC MONTAGNIER! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in AWARENESS TRAINING, BREATH CONTROL, HAND TO HAND COMBAT + KNIFE FIGHTING SKILLS, SWORD TRAINING, PRECISION SHOOTING, FIREARMS & SWAT TRAINING; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( dried blood on busted knuckles, forced smiles and sweat drenched after training ). when it’s the (virgo)’s birthday on 09/17/1999, they always request their SEARED SCALLOPS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ ooc mochi, 23, she/her, gmt ⍀  

slight warning to those who saw i originally planned him to be an anxious soft boi … i was wrong also there is a suicide mention & some subtle child abuse maybe... plus it’s kind of long ? and an incoherent mess but whatever !! plotting is welcome either on tumblr or on discord which you can find me at mochi#7066 !! his pinterest is here yes i went overboard with sections esp bc im gonna add more hdjf !! stats here and a full connection page here with most stuff i have so far ! @gallagherintro​

PARALLELS

fred jones | scooby doo

stefan salvatore | the vampire diaries

hatsuharu sohma | fruits basket

noatak | avatar: the legend of korra

FAMILY

phillipe montagnier | 54

ameline montagnier | 46

marc montagnier | ✝

luc montagnier | 20

charles montagnier | 18

elias montagnier | 18

HISTORY

the montagnier family was originally located in the south of france until luc’s grandfather moved them to quebec. their empire was in manufacturing all kinds of weaponry and selling them to governments and other spy families and organisations. if you needed something a bit obscure or unique, this was the family you'd come to.

luc grew up in a fairly isolated countryside area in a family of four brothers who he loved for the first few years of his life. first was marc, shy and respectful, luc himself two years behind, and then another two years graced the family with twins; charles and elias who lived by their own rules. marc and luc had always been close, marc was the best big brother possible and luc loved him a lot.

eventually after being pitted and forced to compete against each other for so long, it got quite personal and their bonds started being tested. their mother turned a blind eye to their father's borderline abusive methods when luc overtook his older brother in their father’s tests and training. bruises and broken bones were only natural in training so there wasn't much she could say even if she wanted to.

from as long as he could remember, he'd been firing guns. there was a shooting range on their estate and they went on hunting trips, too. his dad often had him show customers the potential of their weaponry and so he'd always been thrusted into that life whether he wanted a say or not. it’s been clear since he was around fourteen that if anyone was taking over the family business it'd be him, not his older brother, marc.

this definitely caused somewhat of a rift between him and marc, as he'd end up getting much harsher punishments when luc would disarm or ground him.

luckily for luc, he did enjoy fighting and was exceptionally gifted in the life planned out for him. he was always the most determined to gain their father's approval, which definitely showed in their results and how obedient he was in front of the man. when he finally got what he wanted, he didn't quite expect it to mean what it did. it was rare but every now and then he would kill for his dad. whether it was someone who betrayed the family or a potential threat to their business, if his dad told him to, he would, no questions asked. it was during this time he was more excluded from training with his brothers since he would be with his dad instead.

SUICIDE TW !!!!!!

his oldest brother marc was sent to blackthorne once he was eighteen and ended up committing suicide at the end of his second year, with luc set to follow the next year. this news was shocking for the montagnier family as luc's father was bitterly embarrassed and disappointed by his firstborns' death, wanting to cover it up as a murder so it couldn't be tied to the family name with such dishonour. it quickly created a divide as charles and elias defended marc's actions and revealed he'd been struggling with depression for the majority of his life, much like they did, which was all unknown to luc, who, for the first time, felt the repercussions of his father's favouritism. he had a new found rebellion against him that was violent with them going at each other's throats for the foreseeable future. luc ended up avoiding his place at blackthorne in hopes to piss off his dad and becoming more reclusive and bitter as time went on.

he really took his brother's death personally, believing he was a factor in it and wishing he'd been there for him more closely. if anyone so much as mentions marc to him he will be on guard and very easily angered. i think before marc died he was very charismatic, egotistical at times and driven whereas now he’s lost a lot of his energy and is more negative & aloof.

the following year was Rough™. he was no longer his dad's golden boy and the family dynamic shifted a lot with marc's death as luc ended up protecting his younger twin brothers instead of beating them for their dad's favour. he's certain he'd have been disowned had his mother not aligned herself with the kids as well.

i think their family dynamic is kinda like the cha family from sky castle if anyone has seen it !

luc eventually decided to enrol in school late, only to end up at gallagher instead. which... i mean, i think before marc died he was excited about attending blackthorne. so he’s bit ??? uncertain about the girls school.

PERSONALITY

genuinely i think it comes down to so many factors, whether he’s in a good mood, who’s speaking to him etc but neutrally he’s quite charming, happy to mess about a bit but more or less takes most stuff too seriously. since he’s not around his dad i do think he will explore a lot more and seek out adventure and fun but if he’s got a test or something due the next day then he’ll bail early since he is defo the type to never let his grades or performance be ruined

he’s quite cocky + likes to win no matter what so yes he will ruin a friendship to beat u at monopoly. second place is last place in his head.

at his best he can be confident, alluring, courteous, loyal… at his worst he's aggressive, destructive, apathetic and always says shit he doesn't mean !!!! will he apologize ?? unlikely but he'll try n make it right once he’s calmed down

thinks the best way to deal with things is with his fists, he’s so EASY to snap and start a fight n he’ll.... maybe apologise for it

i think he defo likes to pretend he’s got no problems and so reverts to a social, supportive friend every once in a while. the type to be brutally honest !!

he’s a definite know it all, thinks he’s the dog’s bollocks, gods gift etc !!!!! doesn’t believe in god but still. I kinda see him a bit jocky idk why but more brooding n isolating 70% of the time bc he’s easily pissed off but when he’s having fUNNNNN he’s ok like a solid guy at times just easily angered

very flirty, he's a major ladies man despite actually being GAY. which is a secret. sh. only two people know he’s gay and that’s his current beard girlfriend ellie cavanagh and childhood friend regine ren. more ppl can defo find out in time and i’m sure ppl have speculations ? maybe have seen him hooking up with guys or something when he thought no one was looking etc probs think he’s bi who knows!!! but for now those two are the only people he’s actually spoken to about it!!!! so if anyone else tries he will deny it as he’s very against the idea of coming out so will not discuss it ty pls.

and it’s not that he doesn’t enjoy sleeping with girls, he’ll be having a great time regardless but he just aint abt to love them like that pls understand

still, he is in a current relationship with ellie who is acting as his beard for him. they have ‘ dated ’ before and are off and on a lot, so they probably seem pretty toxic tbh since ellie n him can clash n argue and he defo still hooks up with other girls despite being in a relationship so feel free to kill him for cheating !

wanted connections !!!

going off the last point, maybe some of ellie’s friends who come at him for how he seemingly treats her !!!

i'd love for blackthorne ppl to have known his brother, he'd have been around about 22/23 and a fourth year now if he was still alive so ?? it might help luc with some closure if he could talk about him since it happened at blackthorne

ppl to know the family, some family friends would be amazing !!! i feel regardless of alliances etc their family would have stayed as neutral as possible since they're selling weapons so they want all the customers.

so people that know HIM while he was growing up would be interesting esp those expecting him to have joined blackthorne when he was supposed to 2 years ago, and obvs him probably changing from who they knew him as to a more negative version now

might put a wc for his twin bros as they potentially joined his arrival at gallagher as first years too but who knows. they’d be 18 so if anyone wants a family friend connection that is around that age, maybe they were closer to the twins than luc ??

he sleeps with a lot of girls to kinda ‘make sure’ no one knows he’s gay as he defo doesn't feel comfortable with being out. the guys that he sleeps with he'll always pin it on being too drunk to remember or he'll threaten them if they told etc ?? he's very on edge about it and would only hook up super secretly sooo if anyone’s down for that with him

and then obvs need a lot of ladies he’d wanna sleep with to keep his image

previous ex gfs ?? from prep schools !!!!!!!

some positive influences would be good

bad influences as well bc tho he is a bit of a party guy, he doesn’t drink loads and he doesn’t do drugs !!!!!!!!!!!!!! but…. I mean i bet he could be convinced now he’s away from home so

study / sparring buddies !!

i’d love someone to teach him pop culture n normality !! his childhood was training and competing with his bros so he defo doesn’t watch many movies or tv or play games etc so ? someone making him watch all the harry potters ?? binging parks and rec ?? he’d find it so dumb but who wouldnt enjoy it ??

[smolkiwii]

Can I have a small oneshot of Bakugou and the reader being soft late at night, maybe they can’t sleep so they’re drinking tea or something idk man, please and thank you!

Hi!! Thank you for requesting! I tried to do the best I can so I hope you enjoy it! The reader is as gender neutral so hopefully that isn’t an issue! Anyways enjoy ❤️ ( also soft!bakugo with tea gives me life!!)

(I love this artist and how she draws the boys!! Anyways back to the story ;v; )

Bakugo Katsuki X Reader// A blessing in Disguise

When it came to you and Bakugo, people would’ve thought you guys were going to split off or one of you was going to kill the other. It was actually quite the opposite to be honest. You could handle his bad temper and you knew exactly what to do when he got like this. Even though you weren’t as strong as him you still had a great quirk for helping him out (even if he does get upset about it after). Your quirk was called sleepytime. You had the ability to touch someone’s temple and within 5 seconds you could put someone to sleep but, it doesn’t late for a long time.

The downfall of your quirk is you’re unable to use it on yourself when you need to. This meant you needed to find remedies when you couldn’t fall asleep and it seemed like nothing was working. Bakugo noticed your struggle so his best way to try and get closer to you and maybe start something was by helping you out. He suggested tea to you and you’ll never forget the many times you were in the kitchen with him when you couldn’t sleep or he couldn’t sleep and you both would make tea for each other.

Now, many years later, you were in the same dilemma. Bakugo hadn’t gotten home and you were sitting on the couch channel surfing because you couldn’t fall asleep. You wanted to make tea for yourself but you like it when Bakugo makes it for you. He has been extremely occupied with paperwork as of late and it’s been stressing him out a lot so the majority of the time when you greeted him his energy was so depleted he would just hug you and quietly stay like that until his little energy battery recharged itself. The simple things like that is what you loved about Bakugo the most; the caring and soft side of him that he would only show in front of you and maybe a few friends who he has been able to stay in touch with after you guys graduated.

You heard the doorknob rattle a bit and you turned your head to see your fiancé enter the house clearly tired. You got up to hug him and he hugged you back while giving you small sleepy kisses on your shoulder and neck. “K-katsu! N-not now baby.. we need to get you ready for bed! “ you said as you urged him to take off his hero gear. You would help him with it but there were some things he had on his hero gear that were too heavy for you. “Why the hell did you stay up again?” He asked you. You didn’t want to tell him that you couldn’t sleep but you were too readable that he knew when he saw the bags under your eyes from restless nights. You were also a pro hero and after graduation a lot of help was required for you in very high tense situations so you would be working night and day. “I’ve been trying to sleep I really have but it is a lot harder than you think. “ you said trying to clue him in on something. He knew what you meant and he knew that only he made it in the best way but, he wanted to hear you say it for yourself. “Well then, Im not sure how I could possibly help you out. If you want my help all you need to say is the magic word. “ he said smirking as he began to walk towards the shower. You followed behind him and you pouted because sometimes you wish he didn’t do this but he does it because he loves you. “please can you make me tea...?” You mumbled. He looked at you and continued his little game, “ I couldn’t hear you love, what did you say?” He said clearly hearing you the first time but he couldn’t help himself but to mess with you. “Please katsu. Can you make me tea? “ you said looking at him with the big puppy dog eyes he couldn’t refuse even if he tried. He smiled and stripped his shirt off as he was getting ready to take a shower to clean the dirt and grime all over him. “I’ll make you tea once I get out, okay princess?” He said and kissed your forehead. You grinned and left to go into the kitchen to grab the two mugs you guys had made a while ago.

The mugs you guys had were these puzzle piece mugs that you guys had painted to look like your hero outfits but on the back there a small little secret for you both. You both had done B + (your first name initial) to signify that you would love each other no matter what ( even if that did mean putting your initials on a mug). You rub the mug thinking on the memory fondly and you laugh when you thought about how your classmates would bombard you with questions about what you guys had made. He was so much more ill tempered back then but since graduation he has calmed down a fair bit and things have changed for the better. “What are you laughing at?” Bakugo asked you. You turned to see him already out of the shower with his pjs on and him rubbing his head with the towel to make sure it has dried off. “Oh, nothing just thinking about the good old days..” you said to him. He gave you a soft smile and came over to the kitchen to grab the tea and kettle to start making tea for you both. “Go sit down baby I’ll make this and when it’s ready you can come back to invade my kingdom.” He smirked and smacked your butt. You yelped but you proceeded to go sit down on the little island you two had. You didn’t have a super big house or a fancy apartment but you had a simple 2 bedroom apartment with some space in the living room and kitchen. You both wanted someplace where you could bring friends over and if the time ever came to where you would have kids, then you would have a space for them.

Once bakugo finished making the tea he put the teabags in to begin steeping and he looked back at you. You had your head on the counter and you looked at him admiring his every feature not even realizing he has long since turned around to face you. “ Oi, earth to y/n!” He said waving his hand in front of you. You blinked and looked at him a small blush forming on your face. “Wh-what do you want?” You said looking away. He put your mug in front of you with the tea that would solve your long forgotten problem. “Your tea. Did you not want it anymore??” He asked you as he took a small sip from his. You shook your head and drank the tea. For those few minutes you two had some silence as you both finished your tea. It was supposed to help you both sleep and it’s been a wonderful remedy so far.

Usually after you drank your tea with him he would get all cuddly and lovey dovey. If you guys were out in public you tried to keep your love life a secret. You didn’t want any more prying eyes wondering about your relationship with the Infamous Katsuki Bakugo. “Babe... come to bed with me..” your loving fiancé said to you as he held his hand out. You guys put your cups in the sink and began to head to the master bedroom where you two slept. It’s interesting to think that you are going to be doing this for the rest of your life eventually and you hoped it would never go away. You crawled into the bed and put the covers over you as bakugo began to go into the bed as well. He grabbed your waist and pulled you close to him making sure that you didn’t move. “Stay here... please.” He said softly. You smiled and turned around so you could properly cuddle him. You looked up into his beautiful crimson eyes and said “ I don’t plan to leave anytime soon.” You two soon fell asleep in each other’s embraces and the last thing you thought before falling into your slumber was that when you met bakugo it was because you wanted tea and he offered to help and now you guys are getting married soon. tea is like this small blessing in disguise when you think about it. Tea brought you together and now it’s bringing you closer than ever before.

I hoped you enjoyed it!! I tried my best to make him not too ooc but hey soft!bakugo is best boi! Anyways if you guys want more don’t forget that my ask box is always open and I’m expanding my realm to Harry Potter!!

Ask box: Open

Requests: Open

[holidcy]

i am actually embarrassed to say how long this intro too me to write out ? so im not gonna say it ! it’s not like it took be 3 hours or anything 👀 . and for what ? idk because this intro is a mess . but anyways ... i’m mia , i’m a whole twenty years old which really just feels like a glorified teenager but whatever , we’re not here to talk about that right now . we’re here to talk about my lil baby holly . guys she is literally the sweetest human ever ? but also ? to sensitive for her own good and really the good of those around her ? very happy feet energy coming form this girl . but without further ado , below you can read up on holly & if you wanna plot give this a like . also my discord is 𝖒𝖌𝖐'𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊#9789 if you wanna plot there or just generally chat !

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐇

full name: holiday elena addams nickname: holly ( she’s basically turned this into her name , not one really calls her holiday ) , holls , elle ( by her parents ) birthday: june 3rd birthplace: chicago , illinois hometown: highland park , illinois ( although the family home was located in highland park her parents would in chicago and holly even attended private school in chicago ) residence: new york city , new york nationality: american ( est. 1999 through birth )  ethnicity: english ( maternal & paternal , 50% ) , polish ( maternal , 25% ) , spanish ( paternal , 25% ) religion: catholicism  orientation: heterflexible ( she claims being straight but in all actually she’s not closed off to anything despite not having much experience outside the opposite gender ) languages spoken: english ( fluent , first language ) , spanish ( fluent , second language ) , polish ( conversation , third language ) , mandarin  ( conversational , fourth language ) . father: leandro oliver addams  ( 49 years old )  was born & raised in chicago , illinois by a politician / businessman & a philanthropist . leandro went on to take a little bit from both of his parents as he is a highly esteemed business tycoon as well as being regarded as one of the most charitable men in the world .  ( relationship:  there has never been a day that has gone by where the two didn’t get along . if there is anyone in this world who gets holly it is her father . truly , daddy’s little girl . the two of them are as thick as thieves . ) mother : susanna renee addams ( nee daniels ) ( 48 years old ) was born & raised in long island , new york . the daughter of a hedge fund investor & a stay at home mother . susanna grew to be an amazing cosmetologist and which the help of her father’s amazing business mind she was able to start up a salon in new york city . she gained the most devoted clientele , loving every second of her work . she took a break for almost a decade before deciding to return to the beauty industry . today she has salons across the globe in chicago , los angeles , toronto , london , and new york city .  ( relationship: susanna often had to play bad cop when it came to parenting and because of this the two butted heads quite often whilst holly was growing up . despite this , her mom is her role model and the two have always had a friendship that underlined their mother - daughter relationship .  ) social class: upper education: attending new york university ( s. 2018 ) she spent her first year of university at usc , she’s majored in creative writing at both universities  career: author ( her book is a coming of age mystery called privilege that she’s recently admitted to writing the full book during a coke binge ) , internet personality , philanthropist , socialite , and student  notoriety: being apart of the prominent addams family , amassing over 32m followers on all social media platforms , publishing a new york times best selling book at the age of seventeen . weight: 120lbs height: 5′5″ hair color: brown ( with blonde highlights ) eye color: brown positive traits: benevolent, high spirited , extroverted , romantic , honest , affectionate , intelligent , friendly , ambitious , passionate , approachable , charming  negative traits: immature , vain , garrulous , critical , sensitive , stubborn , inattentive , naive , sarcastic , obsessive , insecure , impractical , irritable likes: anything strawberry flavored , flowers , driving fast , pink , watching the first snow fall , birthday parties , lips gloss , netflix , sunkissed skin , dogs , peanut butter , agatha christie , redecorating , driving with the windows down , long plane rides , denim jackets , taco bell , orange juice , makeup , sports , female empowerment , online shopping , fresh berries , roller skating , photography , writing , tea dislikes: liars , driving in the snow , coffee , having no siblings , deep water , bad drivers , body shaming , pizza , hateful people , being rushed , cuss words , repetition , disloyalty , being alone ,  horror movies , dentists , silence , cheap perfume , criticism , the unknown , traffic , wine , poptarts ,  small spaces ,  hobbies: reading with a hot cup of tea , video editing in the back of a car , smoking before bed to help fall asleep , going out to eat with her parents , napping , hiding alcohol in her bedroom , painting alternate universe cartoons , attending big soirees , stashing drugs in jewelry boxes , sleepovers with her closest friends , talking the dogs on walks , early morning instagram lives , old disney marathons , scribbling in a notebook while snuggled up in bed  chara inspo: olivia baker ( all american ) , leila faisal ( all american ) , tan france ( queer eye ) , elena gilbert ( the vampire diaries ) , dorothy gale ( wizard of oz ) , lucy pevensie ( chronicles of narnia ) , lara jean ( to all the boys i loved before ) , elle woods ( legally blonde ) , jeffree star , jenny humphrey ( gossip girl ) , cassie howard ( euphoria ) fashion inspo: vsco girls , bella hadid , megan markle , rihanna , selena gomez , perrie edwards , emma watson aesthetics: ghostly sounding music playing as background music to a pen to paper , eyes widened at the chance to do something positive , the annoying beg for approval , infectious energy , a pout so crippling , the swell of regret as you sneak a bottle into your bedroom , tanned skin tousling with silk sheets , big eyes threatening to shed a tear , the zip of a pink mclaren 

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐄𝐑𝐀

holly is the only child to leandro and susanna addams ( the addams family 👀 ) . she was born with not just a silver spoon but the silver spoon . the addams are a prominent american family , that are regarded as one of the leading industrialist during the gilded age . in short her families been billionaire rich for a long time and are known as one of the families to bring wealth to the city of chicago . she was incredibly spoiled growin gup as you would assume but by the grace of her parents teachings she was anything but a brat . she had being filthy rich and being an only child working against her and she still managed to be the most giving and down to earth child . from a young age holly would give her toys to other kids during play dates & ask her parents if she could donate the things she didn’t use anymore to the less fortunate . 

although her father had a busying career as he took over the family company just a year before holly was born , but in spite of that he always made time for his family . luckily her mother had stepped away from her career soon after meeting holly’s father , so she was able to be a stay at home mom and be there for every important moment of holly’s life . by the way , susanna was straight of of a real housewives show only just an overall better person ? they had dinner together as a family every night , threw parties at the house for every big moment in holly’s life . everything from birthdays , graduations , academic honors , to becoming captain of the cheerleading team and everything in between warranted a celebration in the eyes of susanna and leandro . 

she grew up extremely sheltered , mostly because her parents wanted to keep their little girl well their little girl . they didn’t want the world to taint her . she went to church every sunday and even wednesday nights , if she wanted to have a sleepover it was always at the addams household , and her parents met the parent/s of every kid she befriended growing up . 

despite their attempts her parents couldn’t shield her from one thing . getting her heart broken and at sixteen she experience her first bout of heart break . the boy she’d falling head over heels for just stopped talking to her one day , with no rhythm or reason he moved on to another girl with a blink of an eye . she couldn’t understand why ( pst ? it was because she slept with him and that was all he wanted to begin with ) someone could be so cruel an play with someones heart like that . it was her first experience of how the world could really work and in all honesty , holly couldn’t handle it . she got her hands on her parents bar room in the house and would literally drink every night before bed so she could sleep . 

this soon turned into her going to parties , promising her parents "i just want to hang out with my friend , i wont touch any alcohol” and her promise was always kept , she didn’t touch alcohol at these parties instead she smoke weed and on the chance one of her friends had it on them she’d do a line . 

this double life , if you would , didn’t lead to any real issues , at least not while she was in highschool . she still graduated top of her class  and even got accepted into her dream school university of southern california .  it wasn’t until she was a semester deep in usc that she realized she was losing control over her life . maybe it was a mix of her derailing mental state , being separated from her parents , and the los angeles social make up . whatever it was holly wasn’t too far gone to see she needed help . 

instead of going back to school the following semester holly checked herself into rehab . her parents freaked out , unaware their daughter had touched a substance a day in her life . it was a long process and took alot of owning up for her own wrong doings but after a couple months she checked out of rehab and flew out to her parents .

she had decided upon leaving rehab that her best bet directly after getting out would be to surround herself with people who loved her . during her short stint in california her parents had made the temporary move to new york city so that her mom could focus on the salon in the city , so holly transferred to new york university to continue her studies and be around her parents .

she lives under their roof , despite being more than self efficient thanks to her multiple branches of income including her trust fund but she figures there is only so much more time before they leave to go back to chicago that the more time she spends with them the better off she’ll be when they leave the city . speaking of , she doesn’t know her parents will be leaving the city in the next few months . on a positive note they plan on paying the rent in the apartment they live in for her until she finds somewhere she likes better .   

today , holly is a sober ( she smokes weed here and there but it’s not a addictive so it fine 🙄 ) and happy . although due to how sensitive the girl is anything could make her snap , she’s incredibly fragile guys . like capable of having a mental break at any moment but like we ignore it because if we bring it up it’ll happen . wooo . 

not so fun fact ? when she has an off day she’ll literally sit in her room holding either a bottle she had hidden in her walk in closet or stares at the coke she keeps in her jewelry box . she hasn’t used any of it but she tells herself its there as a reminder when really it’s a crutch for if she ever needs it again , she has easy access .

secret time ? she pushed her ex boyfriend of a balcony while she was drunk . this happened before she went to rehab ... perhaps you could say it was what prompted her to realized her crazy ass needed to go to rehab . ummm , it’s not acceptable and she knows this but one thing we all need to know about holly is that holly + substances + being upset = toxic shit that is always the equation and there is never another answer to it . 

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

a girl squad or just a squad in general really , give my baby her lil group of people please

maybe a fellow chicago native ? who she dated in highscool and you know is the one who dropped her like a hot potato after she slept with him

ex hook ups 

frenemies but more like a blair & lil j circa season 1 situation ? 

someone who just doesn’t like her , but like she does everything she can think of to get them to like her 

an unrequited ting were he’s leading her one so he can sleep with her ?

or maybe someone has a crush on holly but she just doens’t have the heart to tell them she’s not interested so now here she is kissing and OMG YUP NOW SHES SLEEPING W THEM ...

someone she races ? she loves cars especially fast ones

a we hang out and watch/obsess over sports but the whole time i can’t help but think about how hot you are kinda vibe ?

someone who is v bad for her and they know it but she doesn’t care because she like them so much & he likes her too but knows he’ll hurt her ?!

someone who sees that she might be teetering on falling off the wagon ( maybe they were over her place and saw the stash of substances all over her room ), maybe they’re trying to get her to stop smoking weed bc they feel like for her that’s a huge gateway  

smoking buddies where they literally just hot box cars together and munch on taco bell talking about why sound vibrates & shit

someone who she used to party with & be wild with ( could be from chi or nyc because she visited alot as a kid ) and now they feel like she’s a lame bc she’s sober

she’s a good influence on them ? they’re a bad influence on her ? ride or dies ? partners in crime ? only friends when there is a substance involved ? sugar baby vibes ? unlikely friends ? flings ? crush ? friends with benefits ? everytime they are around one another its a fight ? someone she lets crash at her parents place sometimes ? someone she’s backstabbed but like she got tricked into doing it ? anything fluffy , anything angsty ... reall just anything you got , i’ll take ! 

[idinink]

keto

HI THIS POST WILL CONTAIN TALK ABOUT FOOD AND FOOD PLANNING, specifically my experience with the keto thing (i deliberately don’t call it a “diet” because that word is soooo loaded) so scroll on if you don’t wanna read, i will tag it as “keto” if you wanna blacklist. THERE WILL BE NO TALK OF WEIGHT LOSS, THIS BLOG IS ANTI-DIET CULTURE, ANTI FATPHOBIA, ANTI WEIGHT-LOSS-AS-GOAL.

details under cut

So it’s been just over 6 months, and I wanted to make a list for A) personal record-keeping reasons, B) a huge “thank you” to @swolerbear as he is the main reason I tried it, and C) in case anyone else is interested.

Disclaimer: I have not been even CLOSE to staying 100% low-carb. I’ve had carby periods, sometimes lasting up to 3 days, at least once a month. I knew when I started that I wouldn’t be strict with myself and I have no regrets and will likely continue being not-very-strict at all. However, I’ve stayed about 99% off desserts, which has been surprisingly easy as I’ve always had a major sweet tooth? I dunno why it’s been so easy and I’m not questioning it for now.

The expected/hoped-for good:

Migraines reduced from 1-3 per week to 1-3 per month

Noticeably stabilized mood 

Increased energy*

The random/unexpected good:

Incredible improvement in singing voice. The past few years I truly thought I was losing my voice, but it’s totally back and I cannot express my joy and relief. Music and singing is a HUGE part of my identity and self-worth. I assume it has something to do with decreased mucus and inflammation.

Vastly improved body temperature regulation. I’ve always been cursed with hyperhydrosis (excessive sweating) and horribly icy cold hands and feet. Often at the same time. Yes, my feet would be simultaneously painfully cold and dripping sweat. Absolutely horrible and has ruined many a night’s sleep. What a relief! To sleep with warm dry bare feet under the skimming weight of a soft, clean pair of sheets -- such bliss! 

Decreased tooth sensitivity. I have the good luck of very strong and healthy teeth, but the past couple years I’ve felt twinges when drinking/eating very cold foods, which was a totally new and demoralizing experience. Now am almost back to previous levels of imperviousness! Though the memory lingers so I’ll probably never crunch away obliviously at ice cubes again...

Regular periods? What? I have never ever EVER in my LIFE had regular periods. Anything from 30 to 90 freaking days was fair game. Now I’m every 33 days, Boom. Again I say, WHAT. They are also shorter: 1 day of bad cramping then 5 days of bleeding with slowly tapering cramping (as opposed to 3-4 days cramping then 7-8 days bleeding pre-keto). I put this in the “good” because surely it must be healthier to have regular cycles, right? It will also appear in the “bad” tho, ha.

The expected bad:

keto flu at first, tho it was very mild. A tiny bit of weakness the first week,  then about 3 days of low level gut-ache. Increasing fat and electrolytes cleared it up. Zero issues since.

Increased sensitivity to carbs. They now will usually make my palms itch and I can expect some sort of mood meltdown, specifically a sudden attack of helpless despair and feelings of worthlessness. (This is going in the “bad” because it’s annoying, but obviously I was feeling these bad things before, they were just my “normal” so less noticeable.)

EXPENSIVE! Ugh. And frequently inconvenient.

Sometimes guilt-inducing. Especially bacon. I initially said “no pork” as pigs are dog-like and it’s much harder to find affordable humanely raised pork than beef/lamb/poultry/eggs/dairy. But....it’s such a valuable fat source that I’ve given in. For now. I love animals and have no “meat-drive” but all the research I did convinced me that current science A) unequivocally indicates humans are animals evolved to eat meat, and B) the agricultural complex is destroying the environment (and of course necessitates killing masses of wild animals). The evil and torturous factory farming of livestock must end. We must bring back the grasslands, populated by all its attendant wildlife PLUS herds of (humanely treated) grazing ruminants, to restore soil and ecosystem. I’m truly sorry, animals. And I thank you sincerely. But I am one of you and I deserve to eat.

The random bad:

Crazy back acne???? Idek if it’s even related but honestly it’s been CRAZY. it’s not like I’ve been working out and getting sweaty. I honestly have no fucking clue what that’s about. No uptick in facial acne...a downturn, if anything. ??????

....Regular periods. I now have periods more frequently (every 33 days as opposed to roughly every 45). The cramping doesn’t last as long, but is more intense. I did some cursory research into that, and several sources say saturated fats can increase menstrual pain, BUT it was usually attributed to inflammation from the fats, when I know I have far less inflammation in general than before. So idk.

That’s it, really? honestly feel like my body took to it like a duck to water.

**For me, “increased energy” means the ability to keep my home reasonably clean, grocery shop regularly, cook regularly, perform basic adult tasks with less dread, and not be quite as exhausted by work. I still struggle immensely with fatigue and am coming to accept that perhaps I always will. I had high hopes of socializing and exercising more (i.e. a non-zero amount) but so far that hasn’t happened. I have been able to write and paint a tiny bit more.

FINALLY, respectful questions are welcome, BUT:

im not interested in debating human carnivory or the environmental impact of livestock vs agriculture. 

weight change was not my goal but I MAY consider PRIVATELY discussing that aspect on an individual basis, if anyone is curious.

[rycewrites]

lookism rant #1

so... it’s spring break. and i’ve spent the entire break doing what any smart ap student would do: ignoring my five looming ap tests and draining my phone battery by looking at webtoons and instagram. since most of my favorite webtoons are on hiatus, i have resolved to rereading my favorites, and one that i’ve reread the most so far is lookism. as spring break comes to a finish in two days, i decided to get my life back on track and instead of simply rereading the comic, i will rant about my most and least favorite characters starting with the fandom’s all-time favorite character (yes, if you check the wiki for lookism there is a poll and it is fact that he is the majority’s favorite), jay hong/hong jae yeol. (also, note that these are my opinions so if you disagree with them don’t be offended but i would be happy to hear other people’s opinions on the webtoon! please comment who would be on your list because i need to talk to more people who read lookism!)

top favorite characters~

1. jay hong/hong jae yeol:

let’s just list off reasons why everyone loves him: he is well-dressed (even plans out other people’s outfits), generous (gives daniel literally everything he wants), selfless (he fricking took in enu’s pups even though he is scared of dogs), RICH (main reason for kouji’s admiration), strong (manz uses his systema well), and CAN RIDE A MOTORCYCLE (yes, i love a man who can ride a bike). he may not be the most dynamic character, but his static puppy status makes it impossible for me to put him lower on this list. we honestly don’t know that much about his backstory and i am super curious about why his family relationships are so strained (except with his sister, joy). for now, he remains a mystery, but like an attractive mystery. overall, me -> ( ･_･)♡

2. zach lee/lee jin sung:

honestly hated this boi in the beginning because he was a big bully to daniel, but  he has been through some SERIOUS character development. mira was a big part in this but i feel like overall his morals have changed so much even when mira isn’t around. he does still fight often, but now it’s not meaningless violence as he uses his boxing skills to defend his friends (ex: defending johan during the god dogs arc).

i also hated his eyebrows and hair in the beginning of the comic but like that’s personal preference. however, in the last few episodes, his hair looks SO GOOD (reference image above).

he is second on my list of favorite characters because i feel that his development throughout the story has been the most dynamic. he not only changed mentally as he overlooks lookism more (ex: he is not only friends with big daniel but also little daniel) but also physically as he doesn’t simply depend on his inherent talent for boxing but actually goes back and trains again in order to get better (to defend mira >.<)

in the future, i hope to see more development with his relationship with mira and his friends because i hold a lot of high hopes for this boi! ♥‿♥

3. vasco/lee eun tae/tabasco:

BIG CUTIE ENERGY ♥╣[-_-]╠♥! first off, he may not have as much long-term development over the course of the story like zach, but we do see a lot of his development with his own arc and bullying story. he was always a pure boi and his inherent innocence creates a discrepancy with his appearance which makes him more endearing in my opinion. the idea of lookism is very apparent in his character because most people look at him and see him as a gangster or someone very intimidating, but in reality his personality and mindset are very innocent (showing another way that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover). i honestly LOVED the scene in the god dogs arc in which he defended zach and daniel joins in because that friendship is GOLDEN. i love how he always strives to be stronger and more powerful to defeat the evil in the world because it shows that he truly cares about the weaker people and those impacted by lookism. in my opinion, i think that vasco and zach will end up being the most powerful in the story (but that’s my opinion)

4. mira kim/kim mi jin:

pure! cute! sweet! moral! (✿ ♥‿♥)! mira is just an all-around great gal that makes it impossible for me to find flaws with. although she isn’t super major in terms of daniel’s story, she does impact zach significantly and makes him a better person. like she is the sole reason that zach has become a character that i truly admire and like. (although she did think that daniel was the r-word when he tried hitting on her in the beginning of the story. but throughout the story we see that she isn’t really a person to judge people on looks and stuff as we see that she gives jasmine the benefit of the doubt even after the vasco fiasco)

5. yena/eli jang’s (jang hyun’s) daughter:

honestly too cute for words. like the episodes where zach and mira find her are my favorites so i just wanted to include her in my favorite character list. also, she seems to be a character that really impacts other characters (zach and eli really changed for her ಥ_ಥ)

least favorite characters~

park ji ho:

always doing dumb things and making it harder for the people around him. he tries too hard to be a part of the popular group and as zach said, he doesn’t really think of them as friends because he just thinks about what the benefits are for hanging out with daniel and co. i think we all went from being tolerant of jiho in the beginning and then hating him at the end. i especially hated how he kept blaming other people and yet not accepting when people were being friendly. especially during the fake bank account arc, he just brushed off daniel when he asked jiho if he wanted to go to the convenience store then jiho goes running back to daniel and his friends when he realizes his mistake. overall, -123912830/10.

2. james gong:

don’t even know where to start with this punk. very violent for very little reason! i know i stated before that i hate jiho but i still felt kinda bad for him when he realized that james had sold the bank account he made for him. just overall a very intimidating character that hurt zach (ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻

3. jasmine huh:

needs to get her shit(ake) together. first off, she almost got vasco expelled from the school because of her lies. like big! red! flag! it seems that she really doesn’t care about other people (except james) and is willing to put so many other people at risk to save her own behind. also, i hate how she uses other people. like how she uses mira to make money when mira didn’t do anything wrong ヾ(ﾟдﾟ)ﾉ. i hope she one day realizes that her lies are gonna hurt so many other people and then herself.

4. heemin kim/zeus/creepy dude from the boot camp arc:

sexual assault is a big no in this household. i hate how he thinks that being handsome can defend him of his crimes! also, he broke zach’s arms which made me FLIP OUT. LIKE HOW DO YOU DARE TO HARM MY BOXER BOI. he also attacked mira, an actual angel ლ(ﾟдﾟლ). words can’t describe how much i hate this man but numbers can -> 0/10

5. logan lee/lee tae sung:

big bully energy. he needs to lay his hands off of everyone (especially zoe!). blackmail? big no go in this household. he also dumped his plate of food on mira? BIG NO GO! he needs to get his life together and realize that people don’t hate him because he’s “ugly,” it’s because he has THE WORST PERSONALITY!

6. strong contenders for least favorite: stalker girl, animal cruelty cat mom/hoarder, zoe’s stalker

characters that i need more information about to form stronger opinions about~

vin jin/jin ho bin:

dislike him because he abused enu but also want to know more about him. big bully energy but i feel like he has a deep backstory behind him so i want to know more. why did he quite judo? why does he wear sunglasses? hope he gets over his superiority complex and changes because i feel like he has a lot of potential.

2. eli jang/jang hyun:

so far, very cute and strong is all i have to say about him. also, he is a good dad like that scene where he put out that god dog’s cigarette? MAJOR PROPS TO YOU ELI. i’m very curious about his backstory as well because it seems that he was a contender for gun’s successor but he changed drastically to take care of yena. i also just love a man with good hair sooo…

3. jong gun + joon goo:

i want to know more about these two! like what’s their backstory? why did gun create the 4 big crews? why was goo sent to the juvenile detention center before? (look at vasco’s bullying arc for reference) why did gun leave goo alone with the money collection? overall very mysterious and i want to learn more.

random characters that just deserve appreciation~

crystal choi/choi soo jung:

we stan a strong female character. however, i don’t like how she is immediately prejudiced against handsome men in the beginning of her appearance. i think over time she’ll realize that her prejudice isn’t right and her experience as someone who has to deal with lookism doesn’t justify her immediate judgements. however, we need more female fighters in this story so she is a big yes.

2. duke pyeon:

WE STAN A MAN WHO FOLLOWS HIS DREAMS DESPITE BEING BULLIED AND JUDGED. yes, we stan.

3. daniel park/park hyung suk:

honestly, he’s a great character and all, but i don’t know if he could ever reach favorite character status. i just have a mindset that makes me unable to pick the protagonist as a favorite character because i feel like they are sometimes created specifically to just bring the story together. don’t get me wrong, he’s a great person, defends his friends, and doesn’t fight for no reason, but i feel like there isn’t anything super special about his personality (other than the fact that he has two bodies but like so does crystal). he also looks like kim seokjin in his new body which is a big plus.

4. inu/enu + inu/enu’s pups:

i love dogs

5. mary kim/idk her korean name someone help me:

strong female character? i think yes. honestly such a fav. she doesn’t take sh*t from vin jin and i honestly want to know more about her character and background. *spoiler alert* i read ahead in the korean version and saw that she can beat people up too so like… she’s a bada**.

6. kouji:

as a person interested in computer science, I STAN. i also love a man with good hair. his cocky personality is sometimes off-putting but honestly his confidence is endearing at times. also we both love money!

7. jace park/park bum jae:

during vasco’s bullying story, i was so sad when he left vasco, but i love how he realized that he should’ve been a better friend and has stuck with vasco after all of this time. also love how he listens to vasco and tries to make him happy even when he knows that vasco does some silly things (like planting durian seeds in korea)

8. zoe park/park ha neul:

i love her development! she still fights with herself over whether she should like big daniel or small daniel, which displays her internal conflict with lookism. over time she has stopped judging people solely on their appearance and she is even able to distinguish between daniel and his cousin! (in my opinion, if daniel doesn’t end up with jay he better end up with zoe instead)

9. daniel’s (hyung suk’s) mother:

ICON! WE NEED TO APPRECIATE OUR PARENTS MORE! I AM A BIG STAN! SHE WORKS HARD FOR DANIEL AND IT BREAKS MY HEART WHEN DANIEL DOESN’T REALIZE!

10. song johan:

deserved better. he was just trying to help his mom which makes him so pure! but i feel like he should realize that he has friends (zach and mira) that could help him get through his problems! overall, want to see more of him and i hope he develops even more.

[ofdaeseong]

           is that a bird or a plane ? nah, it’s just IM DAESEONG. word on the street is that the TWENTY-SIX year old, CISMALE, looks an awful lot like MATTHEW KIM (BM). known to be AFFECTIONATE and KIND HEARTED, yet also COMPETITIVE and IMPULSIVE; they associate themselves with bloody hands from fighting, takes no shit, constantly has an extra helmet for his motorcycle, and a teddy bear disguised as a lion.

ok so daeseong was born in daegu but moved to los angeles at the age of 3, so he was americanised a LOT,, for the longest time, he spoke english better than korean and it was like that until he returned permanently to korea at the age of 14

they were always back and forth between the two over the years, but he still spent the majority of time in the states

they originally moved to los angeles because of his father’s job – he was a producer for a big network and he got an opportunity in america so they took off !! the network got shut down years and years later and daeseong’s dad was like LOL YEET and moved the fam back to korea !!

baby daeseong was v much full of energy and his parents tried putting him in a number of things – singing wasn’t for him, dancing was alright, but he still couldn’t remember the moves good enough, and instruments just weren’t his thing either – he did play piano, but that was thanks to years and years of practice. but anything else thrown his way wasn’t his thing.

his parents put him into american football to begin with,, and they learned quick enough that dae was also a pretty angry kid so he wasn’t afraid to run hEAD FIRST INTO PEOPLE

and so that’s the thing that got him put into boxing and ofc he thrived there,, he was taught so much and told to calm himself down,, it wasn’t aLL about fighting and he absolutely fell in love with it !! remember i mentioned he was alright at dancing???? that just helped him with his footwork in fighting

talking about falling in love with things, he fell in love with jinae and rory pretty quickly when he met the pair – they always seemed to make him smile, and as a quiet, aggressive kid, it definitely helped him a lot.

so like i said before he returned to korea at 14

he joined another gym there and life took off for lil dae !!! by that point he had been boxing for eight years, and those eight years led up to him attending and fighting in the 2008 beijing olympics – he didn’t win a medal, but he did do well enough where everyone was talking about him and would be keeping their eye on him for the next four years after that to see if he would be competing again

and he did !! he competed in the london 2012 olympics and thats when he brought a medal home for south korea in boxing at the age of 19 !!! he placed second after losing out to the united states,,, but ofc he was a lil happy about them winning bc he considers there a second home

because of the success, he was invited on a few variety shows and created an impression there too – granted that was back in 2012-2013, but he’s not interested in all of that now.. he prefers to let his work speak for himself

after his win, he opened up his own boxing gym so he could start teaching younger people, and those who were less fortunate so they could learn how to properly fight and fight for a sport, rather than anything else. it’s something he’s very proud of, and a place that has grown and grown through the years since late 2013-early 2014

ofc he competed in the 2016 olympics in rio and came home with a bronze medal,,, which BUMMED HIM TF OUT but he still took it as an honour – after that, he just had a few title fights here and there but he did absolutely nothing in 2017 concerning boxing, which had people questioning what was happening with daeseong

he decided to enlist to the military in may 2017 and served with the marines for 21 months. he’ll easily tell anyone that it’s the hardest thing he’s ever done, more so than fighting.

he got out in february of 2019 and instantly jumped back into his gym and into training again

he’s waiting for the right time to schedule a fight,, he knows he isn’t up to his standard that he was once at but he does want to get back into the ring for a legit fight

and it’s something a lot of people are waiting for since his return from the military

even more so, he wants that gold medal from the olympics before its too late,,, but gearing up for 2020 seems TOO SOON and waiting until 2024 is too long so he’s v v v v conflicted

he’s a real sweetheart despite doing something scary lol wants nothing but the best for people, always there to lend a hand, always there to help absolutely anyone around him

RANDOM HEADCANONS:

he’s v blind but always wears contacts so no one even knows about it lol he refuses to wear glasses just bc he feels like he looks v nerdy with them and got teased as a kid pretty bad !!! he’d only wear them in the morning or if he was spending all day in house

he has a lil pungsan puppy called byeol and he is v soft for that damn dog !! ask him about his puppy pls he’ll talk like it’s his damn child !!!

has a little sister called daeun,,, also would do anything for her or fight anybody

absolutely covered in tattoos -- legs, chest arms,, im eventually gonna figure out what he has,, he’s eventually gonna get his back and neck done too bc why the hell nOT

he’s kinda weird when people are fans of him as a boxer just bc he’s not used to it and he thinks he’s pretty normal !! so when people are like jUST WATCHED YOUR LAST FIGHT AND IT WAS AWESOME !!! he’d be like ,,,, cool :-) thank you !! JASDHFGDHS

DIY KING !!! he loves making headboards, tables,,, all that sHIT !! WE LOVE A MANLY MAN

his boxing nickname is ‘saja’ which is basically korean for lion so he will absolutely answer to that if someone yells it in the street at him lmao

he’s a girl group kpop stan n loves all that bubblegum kpop,,, ask him to dance to a twice song bc he’ll be able to do it ( also ps,,,,, stan weki meki thank u )

a Big Momma’s boy !!!1

always double ties his shoelaces just bc it’s such a routine for him

he’s not a big trash talker but like,,,, he’ll do it if he has to !!! kinda basing him off a fighter from where i’m from so he’ll have lil elements of him~ but he’s always respectful to opponents,, unless he has to step it up and make them terrified lmao

loves animated movies pls he’s a big kid in a 6′2″ man’s body 

still rocks grey sweatpants like,,,,, 95% of the time !! try getting him to wear something else bc it wont happen unless hes actually TRYING to look good

tbh i’m down for anything in terms of connections,, dae could obv do with a male/nb bestie tbh, someone he can talk to when he can’t speak to the girls in his life !! a past relationship who would have supported him before things obv went south ( it would have been like three/four years ago too tbh), family friends -- someone who is a friend of his little sister, maybe someone who is a fan of him fighting?? someone who has a kid or relative in his fighting programme for kids??? IDK YALL GIVE ME ANYTHING

[jecngs]

                it’s  ya  girl  𝒅𝒓𝒊  (nineteen,  she/her,  pst  but  i’m  in  the  philippines  for  two  weeks  so  that’s gmt+8 !),  a  soft  edgy  born  with  a  name  that  means  "dark  one  of  the  lord"  on  friday  the  13th  !  if  you’re  meeting  me  for  the  first  time,  some  fun  facts  are  that  i  have  the  incredibly  dangerous  combo  of  high  ambition  and  poor  time  management  and  i’d  Risk  It  All  for  a.c.e,  ateez,  and  loona  !  so,  anyway,  here’s  my  poor,  poor  girl,  miss  amelia  !  why  i  did  her  so  dirty  is  a  Good  Question  i  do  not  have  the  answer  to,  but  let's  plot  !

* ╱  𝑸𝑼𝑰𝑪𝑲 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑻𝑺

𝗕𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗛  𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘:  amelia  christine  jeong   𝗡𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘:  lia,  li,  call  her  amy  and  she’ll  beat  u  up   𝗔𝗚𝗘:  twenty   𝗗𝗢𝗕:  november  29,  1998   𝗭𝗢𝗗𝗜𝗔𝗖:  sagittarius  sun,  aries  moon   𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡:  bisexual   𝗢𝗖𝗖𝗨𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡:  actress

* ╱  𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫

         ♡   daughter  of  edith  byun  and  christopher  jeong,  two  major  players  in  broadway  (and  later  on  the  film  industry),  she  was  practically  famous  in  the  industry  before  she  was  even  born.  it  was  without  a  doubt  that  she  was  anticipated  to  be  nothing  short  of  talented  and  successful  once  she  popped  out  of  the  womb!  imagine  legendary  dance  couple  keone  and  mari  madrid’s  child  but  if  they  both  had  a  reputation  akin  to  idina  menzel  or  lea  salonga.  that’s  basically  lia.

        ♡   with  this,  her  parents  unfortunately  succumbed  to  public  pressure  and  wanted  to  ensure  that  their  daughter  would  meet  these  expectations.  to  fall  short  would  be  the  greatest  misfortune  on  her  reputation,  and  they  simply  would  not  have  that.  was  it  the  healthiest  mindset  to  have  raising  their  first  and  only  child?  lmao  no,  but  it’s  the  mindset  that  came  with  the  fame  they  had.  eyes  would  be  on  her  the  moment  she  came  into  the  world,  so  she  had  to  be  everything  the  public  wanted  her  to  be.

        ♡   a  few  months  before  lia  was  scheduled  to  be  born,  her  father  was  cast  in  the  us  tour  of  miss  saigon  (pretend  there  was  one  in  1998),  and  it  overlapped  with  the  due  date!  he  was  supposed  to  be  performing  at  the  pantages  for  a  few  weeks  in  that  general  timeframe  of  when  her  mom  could  be  going  into  labor,  so  they  took  a  risk  and  just…  moved  to  los  angeles  because  he  wasn’t  going  to  miss  the  birth  of  his  child!  so  ever  since  she  was  born  she  resided  in  the  hollywood  area!

        ♡    she  was  homeschooled  for  a  majority  of  her  childhood,  but  ur  a  Big  Fool  if  u  thought  it  was  by  her  parents!  they  were  incredibly  busy  with  their  own  careers  so  she  had  a  nanny  and  a  homeschool  teacher!  and  to  be  Quite  Honest  her  nanny  was  more  of  a  mother  to  her  than  miss  edith  could  ever  be!  to  lia,  her  parents  were  more  like  a  dream,  a  fantasy,  some  sort  of  ethereal  beings  —  untouchable.  [cue  parental  longing]

        ♡   despite  how  much  the  media  loved  to  talk  about  amelia  and  her  parents,  she  didn't  actually  get  to  see  them  all  that  often!  they  loved  her,  there's  no  doubt  about  it,  but  they  didn't  exactly  know  to  express  it...  despite  being  acclaimed  performers  SGKSDJGHDS  so!  basically  in  lia's  mind,  succeeding  meant  getting  love  from  her  parents  because  they  always  seemed  to  pay  the  most  attention  to  her  when  she  was  doing  something  impressive  —  they  loved  to  show  her  off  to  their  colleagues  like  some  sort  of  dog  who  can  do  tricks.  lia  ate  up  this  "love",  though,  because  there's  nothing  that  beats  the  glimmer  in  their  eyes  when  they  watch  her  perform.

        ♡    lia  took  private  lessons  for  everything  ranging  from  acting,  voice,  and  dance!  fun  fact:  she’s  classically  trained  in  several  dance  styles,  such  as  contemporary,  jazz,  ballet,  tap,  and  hip  hop!  she  was  basically  set  to  follow  her  parents’  footsteps  with  all  of  this  training.  she  played  several  child/teen  roles  in  musicals  thanks  to  her  family,  and  it  was  an  almost  effortless  kickstart  to  her  career.

        ♡    when  she  was  high  school  aged,  lia  was  admitted  into  la  county  school  of  the  arts,  but  she  wasn’t  there  for  long.  despite  growing  up  being  taught  how  to  handle  lingering  paparazzi  and  answer  questions  interviewers  sent  her  way,  she  was  never  quite  taught  how  to  handle  the  Hell  that  is  high  school.  she  wasn’t  accepted  well  into  the  social  climate  and  was  frequently  bullied  and  judged.  they  didn’t  believe  that  she  worked  to  be  there,  she  was  only  there  because  of  her  parents.  they  didn’t  actually  know  anything  about  her,  but  they  made  these  assumptions  that  eventually  led  to  her  pulling  out  of  school.  she  had  been  excited  to  finally  see  what  it’d  be  like  to  make  friends  of  her  own  —  friends  that  weren’t  just  fed  to  her  because  of  who  her  parents  were.  she  didn’t  know  that  same  fact  would  make  it  all  the  more  difficult.

* ╱  𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑬𝑬𝑹

        ♡    she's  a  theatre  kid  through  and  through,  and  that's  all  i  have  to  say  about  that!  lia  grew  up  adoring  the  theatre,  not  only  watching  the  shows  her  parents  were  casted  in  but  almost  every  single  one  she  could  become  an  audience  to!  it  was  to  no  surprise  when  the  public  found  her  in  minor  and  supporting  roles  as  a  child,  and  it  was  pretty  much  expected  for  her  to  become  one  of  the  next  big  names  in  broadway  —  she  was  anticipated  to  make  the  Big  Move  to  new  york  once  she  got  her  footing  in  the  industry!

        ♡    as  time  progressed,  she  continued  to  pursue  theatre,  slowly  taking  on  more  mature  roles.  every  now  and  then  she  would  be  given  television/film  offers,  but  it  was  more  of  a  side  gig  at  the  time.  theatre  was  truly  what  she  was  passionate  about.  even  though  it  was  a  profession  forced  on  her,  it  was  no  lie  that  she  actually  enjoyed  it.

        ♡    she  began  to  develop  her  own  fame  outside  of  her  parents  around  the  time  she  was  seventeen/eighteen,  with  a  supporting  role  in  an  independent  film  that  garnered  pretty  notable  success.  around  this  time,  her  parents  invested  in  a  publicist/agent  just  for  her,  a  relative  of  edith  who  was  also  involved  in  the  industry.  it's  true  when  they  say  it's  bad  to  mix  personal  affairs  with  business  because  things  began  to  take  a  bit  of  a  turn  for  miss  lia!

        ♡    her  pr  team  was  really  big  on  transforming  her  the  Big  Name  everyone  expected  her  to  be,  all  the  while  creating  an  identity  completely  separate  from  her  family  where  she  can  thrive.  and  that’s  exactly  what  they  did.  they  created  an  identity.

        ♡    she  had  a  love/hate  relationship  with  being  associated  with  her  parents.  on  one  hand,  it  was  a  burden  having  to  constantly  live  with  the  expectation  of  being  just  as  successful  as  them,  but  on  the  other,  it  fueled  her  fantasies  of  being  the  dream  family  she  had  always  wanted  them  to  be.

        ♡    they  stressed  the  importance  of  whom  she  associated  with,  they  slowly  transitioned  her  out  of  theatre  and  immersed  her  completely  into  the  film  industry,  lining  her  up  for  roles  that  would  eventually  become  quite  memorable.  they  took  who  lia  was  and  restructured  her  as  they  saw  fit,  and  lia  went  along  with  all  of  this  because  they  constantly  reassured  her  that  this  was  what  was  best  for  her  career.  she  didn't  want  to  go  against  family,  for  to  ruin  any  connections  with  her  parents  would  be  a  step  closer  to  losing  them  completely,  so  she  played  along  in  this  role  made  just  for  her.

        ♡    her  brain  eventually  became  fine  tuned  to  see  relationships  as  “how  can  this  benefit  me?”  rather  than  actual  companionship  which  Sucks  bc  she  totally  wants  friendship  —  she’s  always  craved  it  —  but  in  the  back  of  her  mind  there’s  always  this  lil  checkbox  where  she  has  to  get  something  from  this  which  is  Not  Healthy  but  she  doesn’t  know  what  to  do  about  it  because  she’s  in  too  deep  to  change  anything

        ♡    she’s  become  so  detached  from  her  individuality  and  become  the  rising  starlet  her  team  shaped  her  into.  she  hasn’t  been  in  a  musical  production  in  a  long  time,  so  it’s  as  if  they  ripped  a  major  part  of  her  identity  away  from  her.  but  i  guess  that  was  the  plan  all  along.  i  don’t  wanna  say  that  her  mom's  cousin  has  some  lingering  resentment  toward  her  due  something  along  the  lines  of  always  living  in  her  shadow…  but  her  mom's  cousin  has  some  lingering  resentment  toward  her  mom.  it’s  just  cleverly  disguised  because  lia  is  technically  thriving  when  you  look  at  it  from  the  outside.  inside,  she  yearns  for  her  past.

        ♡    in  the  past  few  years,  she’s  been  conditioned  to  want  the  world.  she  thinks  she  is  owed  it,  but  this  sentiment  is  also  fueled  by  her  longing.  she  has  this  hunger  for  success  that’s  highkey  kinda  unhealthy!  she  isn’t  even  capable  of  discussing  these  things  with  her  parents  because  they’re  all  busy  all  the  time!  her  team  would  tell  her  to  say  yes  to  projects,  pr  stuff  including  false  articles  later  debunked  just  for  the  publicity,  whatever  works!  she’s  been  forced  into  this  addiction  for  attention  but  it’s  pretty  much  a  result  of  her  channeling  the  negative  energy  toward  her  career…  to  help  her  career?  but  in  a  way  that’s  detrimental  to  her  own  health.  her  sleep  schedule?  fucked  up!  she’s  ruining  herself  from  the  inside  out  and  she  doesn’t  want  to  admit  it!

        ♡    her  sentiment  toward  her  public  identity  is  akin  to  lottie  person  of  the  snotgirl  comic!  who  she  is  interpreted  as  on  social  media  isn’t  the  whole  truth.  she  posts  as  if  she’s  under  careful  watch  because,  well,  she  is.  anything  her  team  didn't  like  simply  didn't  cut  it  and  was  deleted  almost  immediately  followed  by  a  sharp  scolding.  "image  is  everything"  is  one  of  the  many  sentences  ingrained  into  her  mind.  an  effortless  kind  of  everyday,  that's  what  she  was  supposed  to  be.  idk  how  to  explain  it  well  but  u  know  those  instagrams  where  it  looks  super  casual  but  is  probably  super  planned?  yes?  idk  in  my  head  she  has  an  instagram  feed  like  hyulari  or  pameluft  where  it  looks  rly  normal  but  it's  rly  pretty

        ♡    i'm  trying  to,  like,  put  it  into  words  what  her  persona  is  perceived  as,  but  it's  something  along  the  lines  of  a  person  you  think  you  know  but  you  really  don't.  you  see  her  posts,  you  see  who  she's  with,  where  she's  having  coffee,  but  who  is  lia,  really?

        ♡    clearly,  this  entire  situation  can  get  extremely  overwhelming!  the  melatonin  she  takes  to  help  control  her  sleeping  habits  also  gifts  her  with  the  side  effect  of  irritability,  so  there  have  been  times  when  she  “slipped  up”  and  Snapped!  her  fans  are  quick  to  defend  her,  however,  claiming  she’s  tired  and  needs  rest,  or  place  blame  on  the  individuals  who  dare  disrespect  her  privacy  and  personal  space. 

        ♡    scandals  are  also  something  she  isn’t  immune  to.  she  frequents  club  and  party  settings  often,  and  rumors  often  circulate  about  her  activities,  but  it's  easy  to  shift  blame  on  bad  influences.  her  image  isn't  exactly  squeaky  clean,  but  hey,  as  her  team  likes  to  say,  "total  prudes  don't  get  attention"

        ♡    people  who  work  with  lia  either  love  her  or  hate  her,  there's  really  no  in  between.  she's  friendly  or  stuck-up.  some  believe  she's  ungrateful,  maybe  they're  onto  something.  she  doesn't  cause  trouble  on  sets,  but  people  love  to  make  assumptions  about  this  girl  whose  identity  they  can't  seem  to  crack.  but  they'll  be  damned  if  they  don't  see  her  come  in  every  morning  with  a  smile  on  her  face.

        ♡    if  it  wasn't  clear,  she  despises  the  identity  she’s  forced  into!  it  feels  like  a  role  she  has  to  play  almost  24/7,  and  she’d  easily  give  it  all  up  if  it  didn’t  mean  losing  everything  good  that  came  from  it.  she  missed  the  girl  she  used  to  be,  the  girl  anyone  could  easily  approach  to  talk  about  their  day.  she  doesn’t  know  amelia  anymore.  she  hasn’t  been  amelia  for  a  long  time,  only  lia.

        ♡    she  learned  recently  that  the  contract  with  her  team  is  set  for  a  renewal  soon,  which  prompted  a  crisis  within  lia.  to  terminate  the  contract  would  mean  freedom,  but  at  what  cost?  spicy,  stay  tuned.

* ╱  𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀

        ♡    lia  and  her  relationship  with  her  own  identity  has  definitely  affected  her  personality  and  how  she  portrays  herself  even  when  she  is  at  her  most  comfortable

        ♡    my  base  inspiration  that  Started  It  All  for  lia  came  from  me  watching  a  stephanie  soo  vlog  KSDLHGDSG  so  yea  she's  like  this  likable,  kinda  loud  and  blunt  personality  but  that  comes  more  as  a  surprise  to  people  who  get  to  know  her  because  she's  been  molded  into  having  a  more  suppressed  type  of  character  —  friendly,  but  never  too  much

        ♡    for  the  sake  of  her  sanity,  i'm  gonna  say  that  she  still  holds  on  to  her  personality  in  fear  of  becoming  too  absorbed  by  her  public,  consumable  image,  but  there  are  times  when  she  confuses  the  two.  she  can  slip  up  and  say  something  a  bit  too  blunt  in  an  interview  or  find  herself  holding  back  with  her  close  friends.  she's  essentially  become  a  blend  of  her  true  nature  and  her  public  image  where  it's  almost  the  same  thing

        ♡    incredibly,  incredibly  insecure!  lia  does  not  have  a  hold  on  her  own  identity,  so  even  the  smallest  things  will  make  her  question  everything!  she  constantly  wonders  if  there’s  a  party  happening  that  she’s  not  invited  to,  if  people  like  her,  if  people  are  gossiping  about  her.  so  many  aspects  of  her  current  identity  have  been  conditioned  to  be  close  enough  to  genuine  that  she  actually  doesn’t  know  what’s  real  anymore.

        ♡    she  can  be  a  little  bit  manipulative  if  it  comes  down  to  her  career.  she  doesn’t  really  mean  it  but  she  can’t  help  it  at  this  point!

        ♡    if  she’s  friends  with  someone,  even  if  it’s  for  some  symbiosis-type  relationship,  she  will  play  into  that  role,  she  will  act  as  if  it’s  real.  even  if  she  doesn’t  believe  it,  she  wants  to  believe  it  because  she  also  is  unsure  if  she’s  capable  of  real  feelings??!  she  thinks  she’s  devoid  of  emotion  but  she  just  …  doesn’t  think  about  it.  like,  she  doesn’t  want  to  admit  to  herself  that  she  cares  about  people  bc  she  knows  the  Ugly  side  of  her  brain  will  hyper-analyze  the  relationship  and  find  ways  to  sabotage  it  for  herself  to  the  point  where  she  can’t  enjoy  it  anymore  —  so  i  guess  it's  safest  for  her  to  think  that  this  really  isn't  her!  coping  mechanisms  let's  roll  out!

        ♡   she’s  definitely  had  her  fair  share  of  significant  others  in  the  past,  but  they’ve  been  mixed  into  a  bag  of  a  bunch  of  pr  relationships  (she's  had  so  many)  so  she  doesn’t  know  if  she’s  capable  of  actually  loving  someone.  it!  all!  seems!  fake!  but  she  definitely  craves  affection  and  will  try  to  find  it  wherever  she  can.

        ♡    tldr  she's  actually  a  nice  gal,  outgoing,  caring,  but  she  can't  help  but  think  that  she's  a  robot  because  she  thinks  too  much  about  how  people  see  her

* ╱  𝑭𝑼𝑵 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑺

       ♡    super  prone  to  asian  glow

       ♡    loves  anything  peach!  peach  soju  with  yakult  is  her  favorite  alcoholic  beverage,  peach  is  her  favorite  color,  but  she  doesn't  like  actual  peaches???  make  it  make  sense

       ♡    credited  as  lia  jeong  in  everything.  feels  weird  if  someone  addresses  her  as  amelia  if  they're  not  reading  an  official  document  or  really  close  to  her.

       ♡    feels  a  strange  connection  to  "the  i  love  you  song"  from  the  25th  annual  putnam  county  spelling  bee

       ♡    her  favorite  film  genre  to  work  on  is  definitely  romance  because  it's  fun  to  pretend  to  be  loved!  coming  of  age  is  a  close  second.

[melloncollieme]

57 Facts!!

Thanks @siriussims for tagging me! I love these tags even though I’m not very interesting haha 

1. I’m 20 years old 2. I’m from Texas 3. I’m Mexican. Half technically, but I identify more with my Mexican half. 4. The other half is German. But I don’t even talk to that side of my family so  5. I’m in my third year at college. 6. I’m majoring in Psychology and English! English because I really want to be an author and Psych because I need something to fall back on. 7. I love writing!! I used to write all the time when I was a kid and even won a few contests. I’m a little rusty now though because I don’t really have the time for it. 8. I play the clarinet. I’ve been playing for about 10-ish years now. 9. I used to sing and play piano when I was a kid as well. But I stopped practicing and my voice is trash now that I’m all grown up, I guess.  10. I’m bisexual 11. I’ve never been in a serious relationship. 12. I have two dogs! Dogs are my favorite lol 13. I LOVE Harry Potter.  14. I’m in Ravenclaw ;) 15. I’m low key really competitive. 16. I used to be really into doing my makeup. Not so much anymore because I’m too lazy. But I would go to high school every day with a beat face idk how 17. I’m already running out of facts. When I was little I wanted to be a singer when I grew up. But again, I suck at it now.  18. I grew up with my grandparents. My mom has an autoimmune disease and couldn’t really work, so they took us in because they’re angels.  19. I still live with my mom and my grandma 20. I used to have pretty bad social anxiety for as long as i can remember. It’s gotten a lot better in the last couple of years though 21. I hate college.  22. I believe in ghosts.  23. I used to have sleep paralysis pretty often.  24. I was hella emo back in the day  25. I’m in a sorority. We’re a service sorority though so it’s probably not what you think lmao  26. I dress really weird. Idk how to explain it either, but I’ll ask my friends for their opinion on an outfit and they usually go “yeah that looks like something you’d wear” 27. But i haven’t been into fashion or anything at all lately. I just wear band tees and leggings these days. 28. I use to have a lot of friends on the internet back in my imvu days ahaha. Idk how to make friends here anymore though, I’m v awkward  29. I’ve been to Universal Orlando twice and I really want to go a third time when I graduate!! Harry Potter was my favorite part!!  30. I’m trying to teach myself to play the accordion!! I met this guy who told me if I learned how to play that I could be in his tejano band and you bet your ass I’m taking him up on that offer!! 31. I also curse too much. I don’t think I curse that much, but it’s gotten to be a lot for me tbh. I need to stop. 32. I’m pretty much an only child.  33. I’ve been playing sims since I was about 10 or 11.  34. I started playing because this boy I liked played it on his psp and I wanted to look cool. Little did I know it would be my favorite game and I would still play 10 years later 35. I used to make like a series with sims 2 and I posted the videos on youtube. They’re not up anymore lol, I checked.  36. I used to read a ridiculous amount!! I was that kid that would actually get in trouble for reading in class hahaha.  37. I have ADHD. Like really bad lmao, I can’t really function if I don’t take meds for it.  38. I’m 5 feet tall 39. I hate socks  40. My favorite band always goes back and forth between Smashing Pumpkins, Gorillaz, and Paramore. And mcr I guess, but they’re not really a thing anymore so 41. My hair has been pretty much every color you can think of.  42. I had braces for 3 years  43. I’m really good at writing essays for whatever reason 44. I’ve never been overseas. I’m going to London for New Years and I’m honestly so scared. Almost backed out because of the plane ride alone yikes.  45. I’m terrible at math!  46. I love crocs. Don’t come to for me, man they’re really comfortable 47. I’m sick rn and I feel like dying 48. I collect vinyl records! I only buy vintage ones I find at garage sales or thrift stores and like limited edition ones.  49. Sweaters are my favorite! That’s one of the only reasons why winter is my favorite season!  50. I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore. Youtube has pretty much replaced television for me 51. I used to drink Dr. Pepper like all day every day. But now I mostly just drink water and it sucks, but I guess it’s healthier.  52. But I can’t live without an energy drink or a cup of coffee or something in the morning 53. My favorite fruit is pineapple  54. My favorite food is enchiladas. Preferably made by my mom, but from a restaurant is good too, I guess 55. My first word was cheese  56. I recently started collecting patches 57. I don’t like pumpkin spice lattes! I’m sorry, I tried to like them, I order one like every year in the hopes that maybe I’ve changed, but I just can’t get behind it. 

Ugh I don’t think I could’ve done this if I wasn’t stuck at home with nothing to do. Ahahaha I’ll tag @galaxsims @abelsimblr and @scarlettxxsims Feel free to ignore this if you don’t want to do it 

[dergenflergen]

This is something very blog irrelevant so feel free to skip if you don't wanna read about my Work Woes™

I've been working at a boarding kennel/ doggy daycare place for a little over 2 years now. I like this job most of the time. I love some of the pets I get to work with. But working here as long as I have, my expectations for animal care have definitely risen. And half the time customers fall below that expectation. And I'm not talking about minor disagreements in their care. One of our cats has been boarding for about a year. She had 2 siblings when she first was dropped off but all 3 of them are older cats and the other 2 have unfortunately died at the kennel. I wasn't there when the first one died but I was the one who found the 2nd one. I let my manager know, we wrapped her up, put her in a box, and I later took her to be cremated. What I hate is that we have no idea when this last one will finally be going home or if she too will die at the kennel because 2 months after they were dropped off we were told that they would be boarding "until further notice". You wanna know why they haven't went home?? Because their owner is making a cat room in her home and it hasn't been finished yet. These cats are old. They're sweet and cuddly and don't play much. They don't need a fucking cat room. It is completely unfair to them having died in a foreign environment and us having to find them like that.

There's another cat that's been boarding even longer. Probably about 4 years so far. A big, fat, declawed tabby. Another sweet cat even with his hatred for crocs (I've got many teeth marks on mine thanks to him). His owners have been looking for an apartment. For 4 years. That will take him. By no means am I shaming these people for being poor. But this cat has been here for so long. They rarely visit him. And anytime him going home has been brought up in the past they just give us excuses. We've brought up rehoming him. Finding a foster even. Shit one of my coworkers had even offered to foster him just to get him out of the kennel environment and to try and help him actually lose weight. But no. They chewed us out for that. Because we're clearly in the wrong for trying to do something that we think is best for your cat.

Then there's people who get dogs without doing their research. There's this one person that brings in their border collie mix for daycare from 8am-4pm mon-fri. Despite the fact that he's been kicked out of daycare. Why does she continue to bring him? Because he's destructive at home. Because he's a working dog and she doesn't work him. Collies are a high energy dog that needs a lot of physical and mental stimulation that she just doesn't provide. Not to mention that every time she picks him up she reeks of weed.

And then there's the stress. The sheer amount of stress that I've been through lately has been ridiculous. We have been severely over booked and understaffed. The understaffed part isn't entirely my managers fault as we just have not had many people applying. And with covid, a lot of other kennels/doggy daycares shut down so all those people came to us. When we are overbooked we start putting dogs in crates. It's not entirely avoidable as sometimes dogs that are boarding together initially sometimes have to be separated later on so then that's another run that we need. And I don't find crates to be that big of a deal so long as it's small dogs that are in there. When we do have dogs in crates it's always dogs that are dog friendly so that way they all get to stay outside in the yard a majority of the day, only being in a crate to eat and sleep. The problem is that we were even more overbooked then usual with spring break and we did not have a lot of small dogs. Labs, collies, dogs on the bigger side, were in crates.

Plus things don't run that smoothly if that wasn't already evident. I can't think of a single worker that would actually board there dog here. I sure as hell wouldn't.

Idek where I'm going with this at this point. My manager has become so reliant on me as of late for when she's not there, especially since a lot of our good people have left, and it's getting to be too much. I want to find another job but I'm at a loss because idk where I could go thats not customer service, doesn't require schooling, and pays at least 12/hr as that's what I make rn.

Ugh.