#i have likely drawn them in this pose a billion times before

[quietrobots]

i am severely depressed. expect more cwacom yaoi soon

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 154 spoilers n thoughts n all that yeah

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HE DID THE THING HE DID THE >:3 THING YESS YAYYYY YAYAYAYAYY HAHAHAHAA

GOD HES SO FUCKING SILLY WAHAHAHA

jesus christ running from the cops every which way LMAO i really like their faces here javier w exasperation and lloyd just. being him

AND THE UGLY COSPLAYER BIT WHAT 😭 HELP LOL?? i guess cosplayers walking around isnt really a common thing in korea idk i feel like. they didnt really commit an offense until lloyd tried bribing that cop guy lol

like it makes me think back to dkc and how michael and the other guy (I FORGOT HIS NAME SORRY) went to seoul for a bit and kind of caused several accidents and i feel like that fits better w getting the cops attention compared to,,, rummaging thru trash? but also i am not familiar w korea's police system! nor do i know their policies on foreigners n whatnot so who am i to say yknow

i also really really wish that besides the cop chasing, we got to see a lil bit more of javier's reaction to seoul and its citizens, the clothing and the culture and how the buildings look, what does he think of them? whats his feelings on an environment so dissimilar to his own, and does he notice anything abt it that reminds him of lloyd and his sudden acquisition of all his knowledge? maybe theres more of that in the webnovel,,, itll be a while before i get there tho unfortunately

anyways thoughts aside more reacting

UUUAGHHHH JAVIER NOTICING EVERY SINGLE TIME LLOYD APPEARS SICK OR UNWELL BUT LLOYD BRUSHING IT OFF. EXPLODES INTO TEN BILLION PIECES. AAGHH AAGHHHH AAGHH screaming crying god that engineer needs a god damn hug

also them in civilian clothes! they look so dorky lmao the hats r super cute tho AND I REALLY LIKE THAT JAVIER HAS GLASSES THATS SO SILLY how can he see though wouldn't it be like vaguely blurry . most glasses are prescription,,, tho they did find this stuff discarded so maybe theyre just,,, decorative??? do people still wear decorative glasses???

i have more thoughts on their attire but it coincides with some thoughts i have for the latter half of this ep so i'll bring it up then!

THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE EPISODE THE MOUNTAIN TRAIL AAGHHH AAAHHH

i started tearing up oh my FUCKING god i feel so insane ohhhhhhhh ohhhhhhh my heart ohhghhh

trying to keep his bluff up all the way through even though he's visibly struggling im gonna throw up im gonna throw up

most if not all the panels in this latter half of the episode make me feel like this so i'll try not to be repetitive and jump straight into my thoughts LMAO

i think the way lloyd is drawn in these panels is really, REALLY well done, and not in just an "oh the art looks good" kind of way, but the choices they make with the posing and the camera angle makes me feel insane

because the moment we cut to the shot where they're on the trail, we do not see lloyd's entire face at ALL. the most we see is his nose and mouth, and that makes my heart squirm like a motherfucker, because who else did we see that way in the webtoon?

kim suho, all the way at the beginning.

we don't actually get to know suho's face until way, way later in the webtoon adaptation, which is once he's way more secure in his position as lloyd frontera

so seeing this,,, it's like we're thrown back to then, it's like LLOYD is thrown back to then, back to when he was just suho kim; someone who thought of himself as nothing, as someone who just couldn't function correctly in this world, and god does my heart ache

and lloyd right now feels it too, the anxieties he once had coming right back. and i think that makes the clothing choices for lloyd specifically really impactful too, specifically upper body

the blue poloshirt is eerily reminiscent of the blue tracksuit suho used to wear, and it's the layer underneath a green jacket with a collar similar to lloyd's usual coat. it's like a reminder to the reader that once upon a time, he was just suho wearing lloyd's mask in a strange, new world. i think this experience is a reminder of that to suho, too,,,

also, the bucket hat is able to cover most if not all of his hair. in some of these panels, you can't even tell that it's lloyd underneath. it might not be the same body, with the way the camera is positioned, especially with some of them being from javier's point of view, it's like,,, "who is speaking right now? the face of lloyd frontera, or the heart of suho kim?"

and in the middle of this, we hear javier speak and ask suho if he hated his behavior, blamed himself for his anxieties, and only then do we get to see one of his eyes, but just one.

idk if the timing of this is intentional (i dont know if ANY of this direction is intentional) but id like to think that javier responding in search of clarification (rather than responding in silence or in disgust) helped suho be a little more inclined to opening up and being honest with who he was in this world. i really really like that

AND THIS ARGHHH ARGHHH AAAHHHHH ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR LIKE A PILLBUG HAVING A SEIZURE AGHHHH

it makes it so so telling that he's the type to live for others, he always has been, to the point of being a workaholic. a quiet, good kid, trying to make amends for the struggles he has by burdening himself with the responsibility of protecting his parents names, of protecting the people he loved. he's done that since the beginning and he keeps doing that over and over and over, both here on earth and there in lorasia.

it makes me so upset (in a character drive way! not in a "this is bad" way) that he thinks of himself as nothing without this responsibility, when this ability to move forward and endure and fight for people is something beautiful in and of itself. it's not every day that you meet people like this, selfless and hardworking and tenacious to their core. back then he encapsulated his identity based on his inability to function in a world that requires social and physical interaction - something that isn't his fault! - and while he was able to move past that in lorasia, he was thrown back to this encapsulation once in seoul. he started to think of himself as "suho in lloyd's body" again, instead of "i am lloyd frontera" as he said before his "bluff" failed. MY HEART HURTS.

and i think that's why javier's concluding note, that in the knights eyes he is just the same person, is so impactful too.

because javier doesn't see lloyd based on his anxiety. he sees him for who he is. someone who protects the people he cares about. someone who is brilliantly cunning, quick on his feet, rational and brave and tenacious tenacious tenacious. for all the things suho admitted to javier, these truths haven't changed for the knight. he's the same person.

javier sees a guardian. javier sees kim suho.

AND THAT is what gets suho to his feet and we finally see his full face again. AND OOHHHH THE LOOKS THEY GIVE EACH OTHER AGHHHH AHHH

the marks of tears streaked on his face but he's smiling with so much renewed energy and javier softly smiling back IM GONNA THROW UPPPP THESE TWO MEAN THE WORLD TO MEEEE AHHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHHH

exploding. exploding. exploding. exploding. exploding.

anyway that's all (for now. if you see me on twitter i might still be agonizing over this /pos) i will SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! i hope we get a cool view from namsan tower and javier reacting to that that'd be nice :3 ANYWAYS BYE

[peperonapizza]

The first thing Franky does without fail upon spotting Robin, who tends to be reading a book on the main deck in the early mornings, is compliment her. Somehow, he manages to have the energy to yell enthusiastically no matter what time of day it is. In his eyes, his girlfriend doesn’t deserve anything done half-heartedly and that includes his words of affirmation. Nobody sings her praises like a bard as much as Franky does, which says a lot about his devotion to her as a certain blonde, curly-browed exists (although he’s stopped trying to woo her out of respect).

“You’re looking SUPAAA gorgeous today, Nico Robin!” Characteristically, the cyborg strikes an eccentric pose while Robin’s gaze slowly leaves the words on the page she was on. A small smile appears on her previously neutral expression, causing Franky’s heart rate to become uneven. God, she’s so pretty. He didn’t know it was possible to be that ethereal until he met her.

“It appears that I am drawn to you too, Franky, like a fox on the brink of starvation to a defenceless rabbit.”

…

Right. Her morbid sense of humour. Never gets old, does it?

It’s not the most flattering response to a flirtatious remark, - a comparison to a dying predator and its inherently weaker prey - but any praise from the archaeologist is good praise to the shipwright. He decides to indulge in her playful attitude, being a rather unserious person himself.

“Oh? Are you saying you wanna eat me, pretty lady?”

“Out, perhaps.”

“O-Oh, wait…”

With immediacy, Franky’s face flushes bright pink while flashbacks of the previous night zoom through his mind. Robin is the more… adventurous person within the relationship and has made it abundantly clear to him on several occasions that she’s a woman that has many peculiar interests and… well, kinks (to be blunt). It would be nice if she gave him a warning before reminding him outside the comfort of their cabin. Any Straw Hat could overhear her shamelessness!

“… Hmph. Cheeky woman. You just love to make fun of me.” Letting a small pout settle itself on his lips, the cyborg sits down next to his partner. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?

“Cheeky?”

The gentle laugh that leaves the raven-haired Devil Fruit user’s mouth after she quotes her boyfriend should be considered illegal. It’s an attack on men everywhere! If Franky wasn’t so self-conscious about the nearby sleeping swordsman, he would have kissed Robin breathless by now. Instead, he opts for holding her close to his body, allowing them both to bask in the warmth of their love for another.

Nothing in the cyborg’s morning routine can top the gentle exchanges of affection between him and the archaeologist. The heart-fluttering effect is one-in-billion.

[hiseternalmayfly]

Peace Will Come Eventually

Words: 721 Features: Vash x OC TW: Mentions of guns, wounds and mass destruction.

Who is the real Vash the Stampede? Kind or killer?

Reblog to support my work! Open to comments/criticism 💞

"Vash. This is a pistol. It's designed to shoot things. It is not a shield."

Dangling the pistol between the two of them, Seven angrily points her finger at the ludicrous number of dents and nicks lodged in the pistol's body. If it weren’t for the heavy weight and sleek custom design of the gun, one could assume it belonged to a child.

"Am I not allowed to have a multi-purpose weapon?" Vash replies, those watery puppy-dog eyes piercing directly through her heart.

Those eyes would've worked on her in the past, but she had grown accustomed to his tactics. She reaches up and smacks him right on top of the head with the gun. It’s hard enough to hurt but gentle enough not to cause any damage. The blonde dramatically crumbles to the floor, holding his head, feigning a fatal blow.

She bent over at the hips, her hands pressed firmly against her waist, as she stared directly down at him. A cheeky grin flashes across her face.

"Oh, did I kill you? Guess that 60 billion is mine now." She stands straight up, shrugging her shoulders. "Meryl’s not going to be happy about this one."

Vash’s dramatic act is immediately replaced by pouty behavior. With his lips pursed, he spoke in a tone of mild annoyance.

"You’re a cruel woman, Seven! What if I had actually died?" He poses the question with obvious sarcasm and playfulness.

"If a hit like that kills you, that means you’ve gone soft. I’ve hit you a thousand times harder than that in the past." She points the pistol at him, causing Vash to flail his arms.

"Hey, hey, hey! Watch where you point that!"

She looks down at the gun and tosses it onto her workbench with a huff.

"I’ve been fixing your gun for years! You know I can handle a pistol. My finger was nowhere near the trigger." She pinches her nose. "You’re like taking care of a large dog."

Faster than Seven could even blink, the taller blonde man got behind her, wrapping his arms around her midriff and pulling her close. He rested his head on hers, his chin gently pressing against the top of her head. He speaks once more in a playfully annoyed voice. 

"I have the meanest girlfriend in all of Gunsmoke. She has no mercy for an innocent hunter of peace like me." He puffs out his cheeks before continuing. "How dare you treat Vash the Stampede like this!"

Seven tilts her head up so she’s looking directly at him. She pursed her lips at the sight of his playful smile. She wondered how she’d let a man like this worm his way into her heart. In truth, she knew why...

"The Humanoid Typhoon," as he was known, Wanted for $60 billion double dollars for the destruction of the city of July. Just the sound of his name struck fear into the hearts of every person living on that barren wasteland of a planet. If the man who reduced a city of one million people was rumored to be coming to your town, you ran for your life.

Yet that same man was holding her now, swaying ever so feebly with the brightest smile on his face. Vash the Stampede was just a name. She’d caught onto that quickly after their first encounter. The real Vash had endless bounds of love. Every being mattered to him. Even after facing horrors that would shatter the very soul of an average person, Vash still found reasons to smile.

There’s a brief moment of silence between them before Seven murmurs softly to him. "Did you get hurt?"

A quick flash of surprise comes over Vash’s face, quickly replaced by a comforting smile. "Not a single new wound this time. I must have the devil’s own luck."

A drawn-out sigh of relief comes from Seven. Her hands come up and hold his face, staring into his green and blue eyes. "You’re going to cause my heart problems with how badly I worry about you."

That earns her a soft chuckle from him. He plants a gentle kiss on her forehead, speaking softly to her.

"Once he’s taken care of, we can settle down for good. I promise. We’ll live the rest of our lives quietly and happily, without fear."

[imaredshirt]

I was listening to the Coco soundtrack today and just had to draw these guys. 

[limitlessimagines]

Female Agents x Reader

[Here are some quick romance hcs for International Women’s Day!! -cheese]

Astra: her room in HQ is full of her own artwork. Beautiful pottery pieces, paintings hung over every inch of every wall. She takes inspiration from her surrounding environment, and she’ll often ask you to pose for her. It’s fun, and low-key, and when you switch it up to draw her, she insists on keeping the stick figure you’ve drawn. It’s on her night table now.

Jett: has a folder of all your selfies taken together and there are a LOT. She likes filters also, and will put little emojis or animal faces over your own. When she’s feeling down she’ll pull out her phone and look at them.

Killjoy: she is a self-proclaimed hoarder of hoodies. Any hoodies you own are now also her hoodies. Sure, she has a million of them in her closet, but yours are just… different! Different fit, different colours, different materials and designs! She also likes your scent that lingers on them, so don’t try to buy her a matching hoodie, oh no. She wants the one you wear!

Neon: anytime anyone bothers you, Neon is there in two seconds, ready to ream into them. She doesn’t have a tolerance for people like that, even if they’re just ‘joking’. She’ll point fingers, and make a scene so they can walk away in shame. She’ll take your hand and make sure you’re not in any distress, before cussing that person out under her breath. She’s very protective!

Raze: she likes to embarrass you in public. Not by joking around, but by showing off. “Hey wanna see me fit three pizzas in my mouth?”, “I bet I could back flip over the water fountain!”, “Hold on, wear this lipstick and leave a billion kiss marks on my face. Yes, I want to walk out like that.” She also non-stop praises you to anyone who will listen. You love her for it though.

Reyna: when off duty, Reyna insists the two of you spend time together. Every now and then, when feeling sore, Reyna suggests doing couple’s yoga. The poses look frightening and not at all safe, but Reyna is supportive, and likes to be close to you. It doesn’t help that she is watching you like a hawk to make sure you don’t injure yourself. But that’s not what you’re worried about. She’s too close!!!

Sage: sometimes she watches you as you fall asleep because she can’t believe how happy she is with you. She’s under a lot of pressure, so sometimes she feels like she’s not doing enough as a girlfriend, but she’s trying!!! When you caught her one time, she shoved her head into her pillow to avoid eye contact with you.

Skye: she makes the BEST flower crowns, and uses you as a model when taking photos to remember her creations. She’ll also take your ideas into consideration. She isn’t picky, she just likes making flower crowns. She has offered to teach you, multiple times as well! She’s not the most patient teacher, but for you, she’ll do anything.

Viper: she reads before bed, and it’s become a routine whenever the two of you share a bed, that she reads out loud. Somehow, even the most boring subjects (to you) can seem interesting with Viper’s cold, but snarky narration. As she reads, she’ll have one arm around you, or playing with your hair.

[brokenmimir]

New Notebook

White Rose Week 2020, Day 2: Beacon Days/School

Weiss and Ruby are finishing their final year at Beacon, when Weiss finds Ruby's secret Notebook.

“Wake up!” Weiss whisper shouted, poking Ruby in the side. “Wake up, dolt!”

“But I want all the candy, Mr. Hippopotamus,” Ruby mumbled.

Weiss rolled her eyes, smiling slightly despite herself. She still despaired for her long lost sanity, but all too often, usually when she wasn't trying to be, Ruby managed to make her feel as though it was all worth it. Or at least, like being stuck on her team wasn't the worst thing to ever happen to her.

Of course, then she'd go and be complete dolt, by, for example, falling asleep in Professor Port's class, and she'd want to wring her cute team leader's neck all over again.

With a firmer jab of her pen she finally woke Ruby up. Unfortunately, she sat up with a yelp of shock, drawing the teacher's attention. “Yes, indeed Miss Rose! It's good to see such lively students.”

Fortunately, Professor Port, for all of his good qualities, could be kind of an idiot.

Ruby turned a glare at Weiss, her eyes already starting to droop as she pouted at her partner. “What'd you do that for?”

“You shouldn't sleep during class,” Weiss sniffed.

“Ugh, Weiss,” Ruby groaned, dropping her head back onto her desk. “You know my solo mission was last night. I'm dying over here.”

“Yes, well, my solo mission was yesterday during classes,” Weiss said.

“Lucky,” Ruby pouted.

“No, unlucky,” Weiss countered. “I missed most of the day's notes. I need to borrow yours.”

“And you woke me up during class for that?” Ruby objected.

“And because you should be awake,” Weiss said. “This is our last year at Beacon. If you want to succeed as a huntress you really should be paying attention.”

“To Professor Port?!” Ruby objected. “I mean… this isn't exactly important.”

“Sure it is,” Weiss said. “I mean… well, what if you were trapped without a weapon in a smoke hut with nothing but some sausage links to use as a weapon against a rampaging Alpha Beowolf?”

“If I ever end up in that situation you'll be there to bail me out… an' I'll even let you say 'I told you so' about a billion times, okay? Just please… we have sparring after this and I'm so, so, so tired.”

“You shouldn't have stayed up so late playing that ridiculous video game the night before last,” Weiss sniffed.

“I'm sorry, okay?” Ruby whimpered pathetically. “I didn't know I'd be up all night last night, okay? I've had about three hours of sleep in the past three days… please have mercy.”

Finally Weiss's stern expression softened as she sighed. “Fine. But I still need to copy your notes… and you'd better have good ones or I will wake you up again.”

Ruby slumped even more bonelessly. “'K. Thanks Weiss… you're the best.”

Weiss blushed but rolled her eyes, grabbing her partner's backpack and starting to root around inside of it. While Weiss had managed to beat proper note taking into her head over the years, and after their early blowup Ruby at least usually stayed on task during classes, she still didn't have a proper grasp of backpack management, leaving her to dig through it looking for the notes she wanted to copy down once class was fully over.

With a triumphant smirk she found the right one, pulling it out, before pausing in confusion. She'd bought Ruby a full set of color coded notebooks at the beginning of the semester, but for some reason she didn't recognize the next one in the backpack. Without an ounce of shame she pulled it out, curious as to what extra material Ruby was hauling around to classes with her.

What she found was the last thing she would've expected. Most of the book were pictures, obviously drawn with a practiced hand with pencil, all drawings of Weiss and her weapon. Some of the sketches of Myrtenaster were so perfect that she suspected a halfway talented engineer could reproduce it from them alone, while others were distorted caricatures of herself waving it around in silly poses. Some drawings of her were as good as the outlines the painters who did their family portraits made before touching their brushes, others were action packed cartoons of the two of them fighting Grimm of all descriptions.

Mixed in with the art were half formed diary entries, scattered thoughts, and rough poetry, all about her. The discussion of whether to go with Ruby Schnee or Weiss Rose (or even Rose-Schnee or Schnee-Rose) made her blush unexpectedly, while some of the poetry simply made her roll her eyes. Honestly, it was a little flattering, but who in their right mind thought it was a good idea to make a romantic limerick. Ruby Rose, apparently.

She was so engrossed in the notebook that she didn't even notice time passing, until the bell rang, and even then she didn't look up until she heard a choking sound coming from beside her. Ruby was staring at her with a sleepy expression of sheer horror, one that looked as though she was trying to convince herself she was still asleep and merely caught in a nightmare.

“W-Weiss,” she stuttered. “You- you aren't reading my notebook, are you?”

Weiss realized that she'd been blushing for a while, although somehow being caught made it intensify. “Um… yes?”

“Oh,” Ruby said. “Um… oh. You… you can kill me now. Please?”

“Why would I kill you?”

“'Cause… cause I drew you and wrote about you and stuff?” Ruby offered, as though it should've been obvious.

“What if,” Weiss said, looking away and fiddling with the pages nervously. “What if, uh, what if I liked the pictures and stuff.”

“O-oh,” Ruby said. “Um… I, uh, that is…”

“Did, um, did you mean this stuff?”

“Mean?”

“Well, some of it, all of it really, or at least, quite a bit of it,” Weiss fumbled. “I guess you could say… I guess that it seems like you like me? Like like me, you know?”

“Oh, um, I, well…”

“Just kiss already!” Yang shouted, before Blake grabbed her and dragged her away. “What? I've been putting up with both of their pining for years! Just kiss her Ruby! And you'd better not break her heart, Weiss!”

Ruby hid her face in her hands, while Weiss groaned in frustration. “Ugh, I hate doing anything she suggests.”

“Well… I guess, um, you could kiss me instead?”

Weiss kept her red face as blank as possible for a moment, before decisively nodding. There was a reason Ruby had been appointed leader, after all.

[inspired-by-the-music]

For You: 4 O’Clock

Taglist: @jineunwootrash​ @jamies-kpop-reactions​

Chapter 15: Our Story

The mere seconds that Mom spent staring at me and Taemin, slackjawed in the doorway, might as well have lasted forever.

I think we wouldn't have looked half as guilty if we hadn't flinched lightyears apart from each other at her gasp, but it was our instinct to run and hide. As it turns out, we didn't melt or fade in the light of discovery, but we certainly did burn.

"Oops!" Mom almost giggled as she tiptoed back into the hallway and closed the door with a soft click. Like she had done something wrong, she apologized. "I'm sorry! Lei, I just came to tell you that dinner is ready. Come down whenever you get hungry!"

Before I could speak even in a timid squeak of a voice, I heard Mom's footsteps retreat down the stairs. Because tense silence had fallen over my room, I heard Donghae ask, "Where's Lei? Is she okay?"

And I heard Heechul say, "She's not curled up in bed with her radio crying her eyes out to SHINee again, is she? I thought we were past that phase!"

I went red in the face because I had certainly grown a bit past that phase, but only because I had Taemin— the real-life person— to curl up with. Thinking only that Taemin was a million times more comforting than any CD had ever been-- and that's really saying something since you know well that music was my best friend before Lucas— I glanced at him.

From the foot of the bed where he had tucked himself into a humiliated ball, Taemin sprang to his feet and started pacing around in the dark.

"Oh my God," he wheezed, nearly tripping over his shoes. "She caught us. Your mother— my manager— caught me in your room. She caught us kissing. She caught us kissing in your room. She caught me kissing you on your bed in your room. She caught me whispering into your mouth that I love you on your bed in the dark in your room."

I had been flustered before Taemin became a human embodiment of anxiety. A fact about me: I strive for balance in almost every situation. If somebody (take Lucas for example) is bouncing off the walls, I will sit perfectly still. If somebody is frowning, I am trying to make them smile, even if it's the briefest, dimmest sort of smile. If somebody (like Taemin was that night) is in a panic, I am level-headed.

So when Taemin tugged at his hair, whining, "She's going to kill me. And if she doesn't kill me, she'll make me break up with you, and then that's gonna kill me. Shit, shit, shit."

"She is not going to kill you," I said confidently because I knew Mom like the back of my hand. Granted, I didn't know every detail of her life before me, but I knew her well enough to know that she wasn't angry. Mom never apologizes when she isn't sorry. She never apologizes when she's mad.

I was kind of joking when I said, "If she wanted to kill you, she would have sent Heechul and Donghae flying up the stairs, and—”

"Shit!" Taemin hissed. Profanities didn't suit him. "Super Junior is going to kill me!"

Slightly wavering in confidence, I assured him, "No, they're not. Mom isn't going to say anything to Super Junior."

Besides, I rationalized to myself, Yesung, who would have posed the biggest threat to Taemin's life, already knew that we were together. If Yesung didn't kill Taemin at the Christmas party, I figured that we were in the clear.

If Taemin hadn't been pacing so quickly, I might have tried to catch him in my arms to kiss his worries away as he had done for me. Given that kissing had led to this tension, though, he might not have appreciated the affection. Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't try to kiss him.

Taemin collapsed onto the edge of the bed and buried his face into his hands. When moments passed in silence, I took the chance to say, "She won't make us break up either, Taem. She just-- she was probably just shocked because she didn't know you were here. On top of that, she has always thought that Lucas and I are a thing, so—”

Into his palms, Taemin groaned, "She probably thinks you're cheating on Lucas with me or something! That makes everything a billion times worse!"

"It's more likely that she just realized that Lucas and I were never together. I mean, I've told her often enough that the message was bound to sink in sooner or later." After pulling Taemin's hands away from his face, I laced our fingers together. I gave both hands a gentle squeeze. "I get that this isn't how we wanted Mom to find out about us, but she had to find out somehow."

To tell you the truth, I was relieved that she found out in this private aspect of life and not through a tabloid expose.

"I know that you wanted to keep this-- us-- a secret so we could be roommates on tour, but we couldn't hide in the dark forever."

And to tell you the truth, I didn't want to. I wasn't eager to pen some press release or anything, but I think I was outgrowing that compulsion, that dependence on secrecy and shadows; they didn't comfort me anymore.

From everything that happened over those past few months, I learned that secrets are damning. At least in my own home, I wanted to live openly and honestly. Maybe Mom's unexpected discovery made that possible.

Stunned by my lack of humiliation, slackjawed because, for the first time, Taemin was embarrassed while I was not, I realized out loud, "I think— I think I'm glad that she found out." Drawing a deep breath, the kind that makes you realize that you've been holding your breath for far too long, I admitted, "I think— I think I've wanted her to know for a long time. Maybe forever."

Silence ensued as Taemin breathed heavily. Deeply. Inhale, count to ten. Exhale, count to ten.

My mouth opened, probably to explain that I nearly told Mom all about us on the drive to Grandma's house on my debut anniversary, but Taemin's stare took my voice away. He blinked at me. The spark in his eyes made me think that he wanted to smile at me. In hindsight, I guess he didn't. Taemin always smiled whenever he wanted to smile, and he didn't offer me the smallest grin for the rest of the night.

"I have to go," he breathed before stepping into his shoes.

That deep breath I had just drawn passed through my lips all at once. I said the wrong thing. There is nothing worse than when the truth— the full and absolute truth that rings in the deepest part of your heart— is the wrong thing to say. How can anyone regret telling the truth? How can anybody want to snatch the truth out of the air once it has been released?

"O-okay."

My stutter did not pass unnoticed despite my efforts to hide it with a smile. Taemin sat back by my side, took my face into his warm hands, and pecked at my lips. The kiss was over before I even realized it was happening.

"I love you, baby," Taemin promised. I swooned less at the affirmation of what I already knew and more at the variation of his name for me. He tucked some hair behind my ear. "Go down to dinner, and I'll talk to you later."

Rising to my feet in time with him, I said, "I love you too. Forever, Taemin."

Because I didn't want to watch him scramble out of the window, because I was at great risk of begging him to stay for dinner with Mom and Donghae and Heechul and Lucas— my family— to once and for all drag our remaining secrets into the light, I walked away. From the vanity, I grabbed the old photograph that I had yet to return to Donghae. I don't think I closed the door behind me on my way out of the room.

I tiptoed down the stairs, quietly hoping that Taemin would follow. Or maybe I was hoping that I would return from dinner to find him waiting on my bed with open arms. In the end, I was disappointed, but I didn't feel like a fool for daring to hope.

. . .

It turned out that Lucas's description of the rivalry between Donghae and Heechul was not all that dramatized.

Sandwiched between the two men at the dining room table, Mom looked nothing like the fairytale queen I imagined she would become in her happy ending. The squabbling must have gotten under her skin, etched those lines into her forehead, weighed down on the corners of her lips, and sharpened the glare she hurled at Heechul for a (probably offensive) comment that I hadn't heard over my thoughts as I reached the foot of the stairs.

"Lei!" Lucas cheered, pumping two fists into the air, because he was no longer alone with the adults. "Where've ya been?"

I couldn't narrow or roll my eyes at Lucas. He had no way to know that I had been kissing Taemin all day. He didn't have any clue that Mom just walked in on the most intimate moment of my life.

Blushing slightly under everybody's stare— smiling only because Moms smiled first and reminded me that everything was okay— I hummed, "I was just counting the stars."

As I sat in the seat next to Lucas and across from Donghae, I sat the picture frame onto the table. I met Donghae's gentle gaze and nodded. "I believe this belongs to you."

"I believe it does!" Donghae beamed and took the photograph into his hands. "Is this a new frame?" He asked as his thumb traced along the infinity symbol.

"Yep!" I omitted the fact that I had broken the original frame on that night I peeled his poster off the wall. "I— I hope you like it." I would have bashfully dropped my gaze onto the table if Donghae were the kind of person anyone could look away from. He looks right through the soul, you know, and I was finally comfortable with that.

While he untied one of the white threads around his wrist, Donghae swore, "I love it, Lei!" He motioned for me to hold out my wrist.

I watched, smiling, as Donghae knotted the infinity bracelet for me. All I could think about was my ribbon around Taemin's wrist. All I could think was that Donghae's thread bracelet was a ribbon too. We were tied together. Soulmates. Forever.

Then, my eyes were drawn to his red thread ribbon. Mom wore-- wears— one identical to that. They were tied together too. Soulmates. Forever.

So don't fault me for disagreeing with Taemin's belief that everything was falling apart with Mom's discovery of our kiss. It was clear for anybody to see (if they knew where to look) that happiness wasn't contingent upon the idea that everything will be okay. Everything was okay. Everything is okay. Happiness had arrived.

Except it wasn't happiness. The warmth spreading through my chest and painting life-- which had gone from dull shades of gray to pale hues with Lucas to sporadic brilliant bursts of color in the night with Taemin— was named joy. I read once that joy is forever, and I believed it then, and I believe it still. So, for the first time in a long time, as I looked at Donghae and Donghae looked back at me, I was not afraid for the sun to rise. I was not anxious because the sun had risen.

"It's not fair!" Heechul shrieked, pounding his fists on the table. "I practically live here, and the girl still favors Donghae!" Staring at me so intently that I thought his eyes might pop out of his head, Heechul demanded, "How come we never exchange gifts at the table, huh? I've been crashing on that couch for however many years, and you've never given me so much as a high-five!"

I raised my hands in total sincere surrender. "Look, I'm not picking favorites. I love you both. And if you start getting annoying and demanding me to pick favorites-- well-- let's not get into this again."

Donghae pouted into his glass of water. "You mean Yesung is still your favorite?"

And Heechul groaned at the ceiling, "Why am I not surprised?"

And Lucas chirped, "You gotta love Lei's unfailing loyalty!"

As I started forking through my dinner-- a salad because a.) my mouth was entirely too sensitive to the spicy noodles everyone else could slurp without watering in the eyes, and b.) I was trying yet another diet-- Mom caught my eye. She was watching me, smiling knowingly, determined to see me blush.

Uninterested in attracting any of the boys' attention, I subtly raised my eyebrows, trusting that Mom wouldn't say anything to expose my intimate information.

"You're not busy tomorrow are you?" I swear, she winked at me and I almost choked. "I was hoping that you could meet with me tomorrow. Nothing too serious, just a quick check-in on that project you've been working on."

Obviously, there was no project. Mom was just trying to tease me a bit and ensure that I made time to tell her about the events that led to the kiss that took our breath away.

Donghae and Heechul didn't know any of that, though, and they started pestering me about the project— "Is it a new song?" Heechul asked, and Donghae guessed, "Is the agency letting you write a ballad?"— while Lucas watched me through eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Would you two hush?" Mom hissed at Donghae and Heechul. "Just let Lei keep her secrets for now!"

Mom and I laughed together and the others looked at us like we were crazy. That's okay, though. I didn't mind their stares. I was too happy that Mom saw me; I was too happy that there would be no more secrets between us come tomorrow morning. If I had it my way, I decided, there would never be another secret between us for the rest of our lives.

"I always have time for you," I told her through a grin. "Just name the hour, and I'll drop everything for you."

I had until 9 o'clock in the morning to decide what I wanted to tell Mom. Once I walked into my bedroom, I flipped on the overhead light, nabbed an empty moleskine notebook from the bookshelf, and sat at the desk I hadn't used since the long past poetry-writing days. Having grown significantly since then, I had to pull that little lever that lowers the rolling office chair.

Several of the pens that I dug out of the top drawer had gone dry, but I finally found one-- a dark almost-black blue-- that worked. I used it to map out the constellations, everything that happened before the kiss. Debuting with SuperM, giving Taemin my ribbon, the first game of Truth or Dare, crying that night in the garden, falling asleep with Taemin every night in America, the NCT Dream VLive incident, the Great Come Apart in Grandma's dining room, the roller coaster that was the Christmas party, visiting the wishing fountain where Baekhyun gave me a flower crown, kissing Taemin throughout New Year's Night and into New Year's Day.

I poured all of myself into that story, this story. On these pages, you can find me: my fears, my dreams, my hopes. I hope you love me as much as I love you. I know you do, Mom. I know you do.

By the time I lay me down to sleep, it is 4 O'Clock in the morning. Now, I wait for the sun to rise so I can share everything.

[webcricket]

Winter’s Eye

Pairing: AU!CastielXReader Word Count: 1560 (Ch. VII) Story Summary: Season 13 canon tells you how AU!Castiel’s story ends, this is how it begins. The deranged and damaged iteration of Castiel we met in the apocalypse universe - an obedient soldier to Michael’s cause barely in control of his vessel’s frayed and erratically firing nerves whose inherent kindness toward humankind appeared entirely obliterated - wasn’t always an unfeeling angelic weapon of interrogation. Once, he sympathized with the plight of humans; one, he loved. Outlined for 10 chapters (although, my muse is bad at maths and these things have a way of multiplying). Chapter Summary: As the connection between Cas and the reader finds firmer footing, a link from his past arises to threaten them both.

Previous Chapter: VI

VII.

“Are you kidding me?” The question explodes in a puff of breath on the frozen air; before you unfolds a pristine island of black tarvia, the filtered sun beating down on it with enough heated force to melt the snow anywhere pavement touches. Parking spaces outlined in regular intervals of yellow striping, and a handful of abandoned vehicles, radiate from the mountainous façade of a Mega-Mart.

Surveying the scene through the squinted blue optics of his vessel, Cas casts you a curious knotted-brow glance from where stands at the edge of where forest rings this convenient miracle of civilization seemingly constructed in the middle of nowhere. “Is something funny to you?” he asks, looking between you and a building too empty and too quiet for his instincts to trust; out here you’re exposed - a living breathing target unprotected by a buffer zone of wooded isolation – and he doesn’t like it one iota.

“No-” you laugh, further confusing his brow with the conflict inherent between your answer and attitude- “I guess I was expecting a rinky-dink general store fronting a small town main street. Not this-” You gesture at the looming building, a wonderland promising to contain anything and everything your heart could possibly desire and more. More, that is, beyond the surprise solace of sharing a cabin with your very own personal overly protective angel, of course.

“There is a highway not far from here, and a town like you describe – one whose populace was decimated by werewolves and worse. It’s not safe there or here,” he says gravely. And yet here you are, allowed to tag along against his better judgement because, in a moment of weakness of reason, he let an inexorably extant and angelically errant emotion of fondness for you overrule his head.

“We should hurry-” haste propels his feet forward; he curls a beckoning arm backward- “Stay close.”

You obey, legs scissoring at a trot to try to keep step with his purposeful stride. On level ground, it’s even more punishing a pace than the hike that hurried you here. Feeling the bite of blisters forming on the boney points of your heels and on the tops of your toes, you make note on your mental shopping list to search for a pair of better fitting boots and Band-Aids.

As you thoughts wander, he begins to outpace you. “Hey, where’s the fire?” you pant across the growing gap of distance.

Gradually getting the gist that not all questions you pose want answering given he observes no indications of a blaze in the immediate vicinity, he ignores the query, but not the subtext of comment on his speed, and slows until you catch up.

Approaching the sliding glass doors of the entrance, he notes they are intact and locked just as he last left them. A scattering of stone spilling outward from the threshold, not so accidental as it appears, lies undisturbed.

Strategically speaking, this would be the easiest egress for an intruder to gain entrance inside. The rear and side admittances are steel, chained, and padlocked. Still, with you to watch over, he does not permit these subtle reassurances to soothe his caution.

A flick of two fingers to focus his grace frees the dead bolt. He pries the doors apart with brute strength just far enough to permit you both to squeeze through. On last look out at the parking lot as he secures the doors shut, his regard is drawn heavenward to the horizon to a solitary silvery vapor streaking the otherwise uniformly tarnished gold glow of the sky – a wisp of airy nothingness so slim as to barely be noticed and the sort of smoky linear disturbance a plane would create in its wake as it passed - a contrail disturbing the pressure of the low atmosphere.

Except there are no planes, and there hasn’t been anything save the bodily bound bombs of angels skimming the firmament in flight - or, like him, falling in a smoldering ruin of fate - since the day Michael donned a crown formed by the flayed flesh and bone and souls of billions of humans and the emptied glory of the thousand and more angels who opposed him and whose snuffed existence stains, in a bloodied shadow of once brilliant light, Castiel’s hands.

In the seconds he spends considering the cloud, it dispels in a freshet of cool wind. It wouldn’t make sense, angels scouting here where there is nothing. They’ve done with him, banished him to dwell in and on his defeat, and ever since he etched a warding sigil upon the curved carriage of your ribs, they cannot so much as sense you exist.

Besides, with what you’ve told him of the holdouts of human resistance groups, why waste heavenly resources hunting one human in a haystack of the wild when bigger targets persist.

The tear of a candy bar wrapper loudly resonates in the benumbed and stagnant space; the crumpling of plastic and crunch of chocolate crust is swallowed up as eagerly by the silence as your gullet.

“I missed these,” you mumble and moan in immodest taste bud titillating pleasure around a mouthful of melted sugary goodness as his gaze rounds to seek out the source of the sound.

“Shh-” he scolds; the grit of worry in the warning hushes you instantly.

Terror tightens your throat so that you cannot swallow the amalgam of sugar and saliva held amid your teeth and tongue. Heart seizing, then pounding with such ferocity each ferried beat of fear shudders your frame, bits of brown moisture ooze at the trembling corners of your clinched jaw.

In the depths of the store, somewhere down a darkened aisle, winding to reach his celestially superior discernment, a soft scraping of fabric and rubber soles, slightly sticky on the tiled floor despite the feather-lightness of the footsteps, faintly perforates the calm.

Lashes widened in alarm quickly narrow again in a lethality of resolve; an inner luminance of blue burns in his searching gaze as he shifts a few steps into the eerie fringes of where the window light bleeds into the dimness. When he shakes his sleeve, you see a glint of metal flash into his grip.

Adrenaline opens up your veins and, also oiling your muscles to fight or flee from this place, it permits you to thickly and audibly gulp the wad of partially chewed chocolate nougat.

He extends the hand unburdened by a blade out at you, a movement meaning to say that you should do neither and duck out of sight behind the register.

You misread the purely practical physicality of his request and instead cede to the instinctive tug at your emotions to meet his fluttering fingers halfway, meshing yours into the warm sanctuary of their apertures and securing your other arm through the crook of his elbow to flatten his entire weaponless limb to your chest.

To say the action – a clingy suggestion of deeply rooted trust, concern, and consequently of a firm belief in his ability to shield you in the face of danger - catches him off guard would be an understatement.

However, with a hiss of his name in a tone familiar to him as that of his unwaveringly loyal lieutenant and sister – Rachel – slicing through the dark loud enough, even, for you to hear the anger and resentment whetting the knife of feminine voice, he has no time to analyze the exhilarating effect your embrace and corporal nearness exerts upon his being, nor does he permit more than a speck of added anxiety to alter the determination of his affect.

Pivoting, his typically stony rigidity a balletic display of swiftness, grace, and fluid urgency, he covers your mouth, pins you flush against the waist-high wall of the register, and very briefly steals your breath in the press of his hips against yours. The dynamism of his blues, desperately sparking hue dancing less than an inch from your flared lids, implores you to stay there no matter what happens.

He’s certain she heard you - can hear the wild banging of pulse within your body just as clearly as he can – she is, after all, an angel, and a sometime ally sympathetic to humanity who is not as dead as he presumed and evidently has an axe to grind with him.

If you stay out of her way, you may yet survive. Castiel maintains less hope for himself, and before he found you, he would’ve welcomed whatever retribution she required up to and including his life – a life sunken into meaninglessness and seeped in suffering; but now, staring into your eyes, their pleading concern begging him to be careful, to not leave you alone, he feels reason to fight.

Numbed by panic, limbs turning into immovable lead weights of worry for him, you feebly nod against the electrically charged scent of his skin a promise to stay put for his sake and collapse as he pushes you down to your knees and into the alcove underneath.

You watch the lower portion of his legs retreat from your sight and disappear into the gloom. Straining to hear what is happening, the pain pinching your heart in his absence drums dully in your ears and pulls with each strung and stinging beat at the fluid filling the blisters on your feet.

Castiel tag list:  (Closed, if you’d like to be removed please let me know!)    @jeepangel  @sammiesamness  @willowing-love  @blueicevalkyrie   @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11  @thesugargalaxy​    @bluetina-blog​  @dont-trust-humanity​  @afanofmanystuffs  @honeybeetrash​  @bucky-thorin-winchester​  @superwholockz​   @tistai​  @wordstothewisereaders​  @gill-ons​  @mrswhozeewhatsis​  @marisayouass​  @stone-met​   @castiel-savvy18​  @samualmortgrim​  @trexrambling​  @magnificent-mantle​  @kdfrqqg  @xdifsx​   @mandilion76​  @rockfairy​  @peaceloveancolor​  @unicorntrooper​  @anisolatedship​  @itsilvermorny​  @aditimukul​  @kudosia​  @goofynerd-67babylove​  @uninspirationalsonglyrics​  @gray-avidan​  @mishascupcake​   @mishapanicmeow​   @praisecastielamen​  @roseyhxnt​  @jessikared97​  @let-the-imaginationflow​  @warriorqueen1991​   @sebastianstanslefteyebrow   @hisnameisboobear  @kristendanwayne  @fuschiarulerinthebluebox​  @coolpencilpie​  @jenabean75​  @luciathewinchestergirl​  @morganas-pendragons​  @heyitscam99​  @fangirl-and-stuff​  @selahbela  @realgreglestrade​  @splendidcas​  @pointlesscasey​  @i-larb-spooderman​  @thewhiterabbit42​  @thelostverse​  @castieliswatchingoverme​  @beccollie18  @dragonett8  @dixie-chick​  @jtownraindancer​   @carowinsthings​  @passionghost​  @ladyofletters67​ @futureparent​  @gabbie7-11​  @myfandomlife-blog​  @dreamerkim​ @shamelesslydean​  @earthtokace​  @neaeri​  @justanormalangel​  @lone-loba​  @supernaturalymarvel​  @lilrubixx​  @wings-and-halo​  @x-cassiopeia​ @thehoneybeecastielfollows​  @musiclovinchic93​  @81mysteriouslyme​  @the-bottom-of-the-abyss​  @jaylarkson​ @pixiedusts  @spookysculderfiles  @laqueus-ludovicus  @missjenniferb @lexininja  @jessiekay2010   @skrratata  @rhiannonj79  @calicat79

[per-ineptia-ad-astra]

Star Trek Gold Key #30: Death Of A Star

Our story begins with an old woman doing something mysterious, which on its own wouldn’t be terribly foreboding, but of course, we can’t possibly start a Gold Key comic with anything less than imminent danger lest the readers feel they haven’t gotten their money’s worth, so she’s also about to explode. Or so Kirk tells us, anyway. How he came to this conclusion I’m not sure.

[ID: A comic splash page titled STAR TREK: DEATH OF A STAR PART 1. A narration box at the top reads, “Trapped on a veritable keg of cosmic dynamite, Captain Kirk and the Star Trek crew become an unwilling captive audience to the most shattering spectacle in all the galaxy: a star going nova! But the natural cataclysm takes on tragic overtones when a mysterious old woman’s life is mystically linked to...a strange cosmic force!” In the foreground Kirk and Chapel are holding their arms out, facing away from the camera and looking toward Spock and an old woman wearing orange and yellow robes, who is touching Spock’s forehead; swirls of red and yellow are spiraling away from the old woman. Chapel is saying, “Captain! What is happening to her?” Kirk is saying, “I’m not sure, Nurse, but I think she is going to explode!”]

Kudos to the narration box up there for its use of the excellent term “a veritable keg of cosmic dynamite” although “But the natural cataclysm takes on tragic overtones when a mysterious old woman’s life is mystically linked to a strange cosmic force!” sounds like a sentence that someone started out saying without knowing quite how it was going to end.

So, what’s the Enterprise crew done now that’s somehow resulted in an old woman spontaneously combusting? It begins, as usual, with a captain’s log. “Our mission,” Kirk tells us, “is to study and record, from a safe distance, the final death throe of the star Isis. According to our calculations, this gem of space has only 48 hours before it explodes, destroying everything for billions upon billions of cubic miles. Fortunately, its solar system is uninhabited!”

So a star is due to go supernova and they’re going to park somewhere at a safe distance and watch the fireworks. Cool. How close is a safe distance? At least billions upon billions of cubic miles away, apparently, since, sure, we definitely measure astronomical distances in cubic miles. I sure don’t know how far back you have to stand from a supernova to avoid getting turned into a cloud of nicely toasted atoms, but apparently the material being ejected from the star can travel at speeds up to 10% lightspeed, or about thirty thousand kilometers per second. Exactly how fast the various warp factors are is all over the place, but we know warp one is lightspeed. So the Enterprise can outrun a supernova, if it gets going in time. Let’s give a generous safety estimate and say it takes a minute to go to warp. At thirty thousand kilometers a second, in the space of that minute the ejecta, or in scientific terms, the Big Hot Cloud of Death, could travel about 1,800,000 kilometers, so theoretically they’ll be safe if they hang farther back than that. For comparison, one Astronomical Unit, defined as the average distance from the Earth to the Sun, is about 150 million kilometers. Astronomically speaking, they could get within spitting distance of this star and call it a safe point. I mean, they probably shouldn’t. But they could.

Anyway, while they’re hanging out waiting for the show to start, Sulu suddenly reports that he’s getting “readings of humanoid life-forms from Isis III!” Spock is dubious.

[ID: Two comic panels. In the first, Kirk is sitting in his captain’s chair saying, “What do you make of that, Mr. Spock?” Spock, standing next to him with his hands on his hips, is saying, “Highly unlikely, captain! Earlier, and much more thorough sensor scans suggest no such signs of life!” In the second panel Kirk is saying, “But you don’t deny that these readings are genuine?” and Spock replies, “Most likely a malfunction in the system, captain! The chances are 87.663125 to 1 in favor of it!”] 

love Spock’s pose in the first panel there

Kirk isn’t having it. “When that ‘1’ may be a human life, I consider the odds even!” he declares, somehow jumping to the conclusion that because the life signs are humanoid they must be human, even though practically everybody in this galaxy is humanoid. Point is, he intends to check this out, so he tells Uhuru to get a fix on the sensor readings. Which is not her job, and also, not her name.

[ID: Kirk half-turning to Uhura, who is sitting at her station, and saying, “Lt. Uhuru, get me a fix on those readings!” Uhura says, “Roger!”]

THIS IS THE THIRD TIME, GUYS, COME ON IT’S JUST NOT THAT DIFFICULT

Kirk then orders Sulu to set a course for Isis III. Spock quite sensibly points out that even if the sensors are right and there are people down there, they can’t evacuate a whole planet in the forty-eight hours before the star blows. Kirk isn’t having that either.

[ID: Kirk pointing at Spock, whose ears are drawn abnormally large in profile, and saying, “We can try!” Someone off-panel is saying, “Captain?”]

“Captain, that statement is so ludicrous it made my ears stand up straight!”

So last issue, the scanners reported no life signs, so they sent a landing party down to check. This issue, the scanners are reporting life signs, which Spock says must be a malfunction, so they’re going to send a landing party down to check. I’m starting to wonder why they even bother scanning for life in the first place if they’re so determined to go down and check anyway.

Meanwhile, Uhura has a report on the upcoming planet. I’d question how she got sensor data at the communications station, but as this panel demonstrates, whoever drew this clearly never saw the actual bridge set, so perhaps it’s a bit much to expect whoever wrote it to remember what everyone’s jobs are. Or their ethnicites. Not only is Uhura white once again, they didn’t even color in her earring separately, which results in a somewhat disturbing image.

[ID: Uhura, colored with a pale Caucasian skin tone, looking out over the bridge, where Kirk is sitting in a bright pink chair, and in front of him two helm officers are sitting at a control panel. A viewscreen is visible at the end of the bridge, with several computer screens below it. Uhura is saying, “Class M planet, sir! Capable of supporting human life! Sensors indicate a massive life-force, suggesting a large population! I don’t understand how Federation probes could have missed them!” Her large hoop earring is colored the same as her skin, making it appear to be part of her ear.]

Man, gauges got kinda extreme by the twenty-third century.

Uhura goes on to report that she has a fix on the life signs, but it’s weird, because “All the life-force is emanating from one spot as if the entire population were on the head of a pin!” “Perhaps that’s why your earlier probes missed them, Spock!” Kirk comments. “They’re either midgets...or angels!” Spock then starts to give the odds against this before Kirk cuts him off. Yes. Hilarious.

Kirk tells Uhuru (sigh) to get ready to beam down with him and Spock, and to inform Chapel that she’s coming with too. “She has proven to be of invaluable assistance on past missions!” he explains, and I use the term ‘explains’ loosely.

The unorthodox landing party is soon ready to beam out, although that might prove to be difficult because apparently a terrible transporter accident has fused the bridge and the transporter room together.

[ID: Two panels. In the first, Kirk, Spock, Uhura and Chapel are standing on the transporter pad, with Sulu and Scotty looking at some screens in the foreground. Kirk is saying, “Sulu, how much of a safety factor do we have?” Sulu replies, “24 hours, sir!” In the second panel, Kirk is leaning in and saying, “Scotty, I want you to wait precisely 23 hours, 59 minutes for us and then warp out of her immediately!” Scotty, who is sitting at what looks like one of the bridge stations, says, “Aye, aye, captain!”]

WHERE ARE WE

So...unless it took them twenty-four hours to get that landing party ready, they still have forty-eight hours before the sun goes nova. I’m not sure exactly what Sulu’s ‘safety factor’ means, but I’m guessing he means the buffer of extra time they’ve allotted to make sure they can get out of there before things get really dangerous. Which means Kirk is telling Scotty to leave...one minute before they have twenty-four hours before the sun explodes?

Having left those baffling instructions in their wake, the landing party beams down, and has the perfunctory exchange of comments.

[ID: Chapel, Uhura, Spock and Kirk standing against a dull purplish-gray sky with some foliage creeping into the panel on the right. A narration box says, “Soon…” Chapel is saying, “Wow! I’ll never get used to that sensation!” Uhura says, “Nor to the sight of a new world! Amazing! That sky!” Spock says, “Atmospheric conditions are caused by pre-nova solar activity!” Kirk says, “We’re not here to sight-see!”]

Wow, that sky. Breathtaking. Incredible. I’m in awe.

After reminding everyone that they are not here to sight-see, they’re here to save a WORLD! Kirk asks Chapel where they should be going, since their landing site is mysteriously devoid of all the people they were expecting to find there. Chapel says she doesn’t know because the atmosphere is scrambling her equipment. Dang Federation technology gets scrambled the moment you take it out of the packaging.

Uhura and Spock then have a baffling exchange in which she comments that she “feel[s] like we’d been plopped down on a “Doomsday Earth” movie set!” and Spock replies “For all intents and purposes, we have, Lieutenant!” I’m not sure if Spock understands what a movie set is. Or possibly I don’t understand what a movie set is, or at least what a “Doomsday Earth” movie set is. Ultimately it’s irrelevant though, because the conversation is cut off by Spock getting attacked by a giant cloud of spray cheese.

[ID: A tall panel in which Uhura is yelling, “Look out!” and pushing Spock out of the way of a beam of yellow energy strikes down from the sky in front of him with a “PHFFAZZZ!”]

Kirk declares that “Whatever we do, we better get out of HERE, fast!” and takes off running, but Spock grabs him and pulls him in the other direction; turns out that somehow in the past five seconds or so that Kirk was occupied, the rest of the landing party found a path. Which Kirk is pretty sure wasn’t there before, but there’s no time to deliberate on that, with more spray cheese energy bolts on their tail.

[ID: Kirk, Chapel, Uhura and Spock running through some woods with bolts of energy striking all around them, making “PAHZAZ!” “PHFFFZING!” and “PAHZOWIE!” noises.]

“Don’t ask, captain! Just keep moving!” Spock says. But Kirk, of course, isn’t going to let a little thing like running for his life distract him from asking questions. “I don’t like it, Mr. Spock!” he declares as they charge through the bolts. “This path from nowhere! These bolts just missing! It’s as if someone were herding us somewhere! But where?”

Fortunately we don’t have long to wait for the answer to that question, because in the very next panel Chapel points out a rather attention-grabbing landmark up ahead.

[ID: A full page containing mostly one large panel with two smaller ones, inset at the top and bottom. In the top panel, Chapel is pointing into the distance and saying, “Perhaps there, captain!” while Uhura, behind her, says, “Goodness!” In the main panel, the landing party is looking through a tangle of trees towards a large angular pyramid-like building with two flights of steps leading up to the top and a door inset under an archway in front. A yellow triangle with an eye symbol in the middle is hovering above it. Uhura is saying, “What is it, captain?” Kirk says, “I was just going to ask Spock that!” Spock says, “It appears to be a religious temple!” In the bottom right panel, the group has gathered around the door of the building. Uhura is saying, “It reminds me of ancient temples to the sun!” Chapel is saying, “Captain! My sensor’s going crazy! There must be an army inside there!”]

alright, who summoned Bill Cipher

I appreciate that Kirk’s first reaction to seeing this thing was going to be asking Spock, who has exactly the same amount of information about it as Kirk does, what it is. Which I’m not sure is a great idea in this case, because Spock’s over there leaping to some big ol conclusions. Sure, that could be a religious temple, but it could just as easily be a tomb, a dwelling, a government building, hell it could be an artfully decorated grain silo. There’s no way to know just by looking at the outside of it! Geez, keep this guy away from archaeological sites.

Kirk declares that they’re going inside the temple, since that’s quite obviously the intended way to advance the adventure. Chapel protests that they might be walking into a trap, but Kirk says they don’t have much choice—the path they came by has disappeared again. Oh, so this is definitely a trap, then. Kirk orders them all to put their phasers on stun and aim them at the door, presumably intending to stun the door into submission. But before anyone can fire, the door opens on its own.

[ID: Two panels. In the first, the landing party is gathered around the doors, which appear to be opening on their own, while a voice from within calls, “WELCOME! BEINGS OF EARTH...AND WATER!” Chapel says, “That voice! Like a light in my head!” In the second panel, we see through the doors to where an indistinct robed figure is sitting in a tall chair surrounded by curtains, saying, “Enter the temple of the sun! Home of the sun-god incarnate! Enter crew of the Enterprise!” Someone offscreen says, “Incredible!”]

Huh.

Foregoing all thought of this being a trap, Kirk strolls on in through the door, the better to put his hand to his chest dramatically and say, “You—you know us???”

“You are not the only ones with “eyes,” captain!” the robed woman replies, in a rather disconcerting use of quotation marks. “I saw you out there...watching! You were curious about me, so I, in turn, am curious about you!”

Kirk asks if she’s aware that she and the rest of her people are in some serious danger, but she’s not fazed in the least: “I know that my time grows short! As does everyone’s and every thing’s!” “But you don’t have to die!” Kirk says. “We can save you! We can take you aboard our...boat in the sky! And take you to a safe place!” Smooth, Kirk.

The woman only says that she did not summon them there to save her. “You wished to see me die,” she says, “I give you your chance!” This thoroughly baffles everyone in the landing party, since last time they checked no one summoned them here at all. Evidently they’ve missed something.

[ID: Kirk approaches up the steps towards the woman sitting on the throne, who is draped in a yellow cloak with a red head covering. Kirk is saying, “Look, I don’t know where you got the idea we came to watch you die, but maybe the rest of your people aren’t so eager! Where are they?” The woman says, “Alas, they left but moments before you arrived!”]

Or we could just decide the old woman is the one who’s wrong, that works too.

Kirk asks where all these people left to, and the woman points off somewhere and says, “There! From whence they came!” Helpful. Kirk wonders if this means they’re all dead and buried and the woman is the last of her race, but Chapel says she’s still picking up a huge amount of life-force from around the temple, more than one person could account for. I’m still trying to figure out how the heck their sensors are quantifying ‘life-force.’ I mean life signs, I could understand life signs, I could understand detecting, say, heartbeats or respiration or a thermal signature, but apparently Chapel’s just straight up got some kind of aura reader over there.

Kirk—very dramatically—asks the woman just who she is. She tells him.

[ID: The landing party stand in a line looking at the woman, who is extending her hands upward and saying, “I am the warmth! I am the light! I am the giver! I am the protector! I am Isis, the god of the sun!” Kirk is thinking, “You’re also a warp four loony!”]

Nice, Kirk, very diplomatic thought bubble there. The use of ‘warp four’ there also implies a scale of looniness that goes up to at least seven.

Kirk asks Spock what he thinks of Isis. Spock refrains from giving any rankings of looniness, only speculating that perhaps she was left here as a sacrifice. So we’re just dismissing the god theory out of hand, huh? Ordinarily that would be considered a reasonable enough decision, but you guys have already met several beings who may not necessarily have been divine from a theological standpoint but sure had enough power to make that pretty much a moot point. I’m just saying, if I’d personally encountered folks like the Metrons, the Thasians, Trelane and his parents, etc, I’d at least take a minute to hear out anyone else who told me they were a god, just to save any nasty surprises down the line.

But instead, Kirk tells Chapel to stay with Isis—not for any particular reason that he feels like explaining—while the rest of the party goes out to look around some more. “The other inhabitants must be around here someplace,” he says as they walk outside, “and we are going to find them!”

Uhura points out that the path is still gone, but this doesn’t bother Kirk. Not because it is usually actually possible to walk through woodland without a path (sometimes unpleasant, but usually possible) but because hey, they’ve got phasers, so they can make a path. He tells the other two to set theirs to ‘heat blasts. I didn’t realize that was an option for phasers.

[ID: Spock, Kirk and Uhura firing their phasers into a copse of trees with a ‘PHFFFIZZZZZLE!’ Kirk is saying, “Fire!” Spock says, “Captain! Nothing! Our phasers don’t fire!” Uhura says, “I think….we’re being….surrounded.”]

And evidently, I was right about that.

I don’t know what Uhura thinks is surrounding them that requires such heavy use of ellipses, but Kirk yells for everyone to get back inside, then throws his phaser at a tree for good measure. But once back inside, they find Chapel passed out on the floor. Uhura, who is not a nurse or doctor, and is using no tricorder or other medical equipment, nevertheless manages to instantly identify the problem as sunstroke. Kirk is so distraught by this that his hand starts mutating.

[ID: Kirk gesturing towards Spock with one arm bent in an unnatural position to put his hand on his head, his thumb inexplicably large and also at a wrong angle. Kirk says, “What’s going on around here??? Has this world gone crazy! Beam us out of here, Spock! Now!” Spock says, “I can’t captain! Solar flares are interfering with communications to our ship!”]

you okay there buddy

“I fear we are trapped here, Captain!” Spock declares. Oh, what a surprise.

[ID: A splash page titled STAR TREK: DEATH OF A STAR: PART 2. It shows the Enterprise orbiting a planet with a bright sun in the distance. A narration box at the top reads, “Captain’s Log, supplemental: While the Enterprise orbits helplessly overhead, due to interference from the near-nova sun, we are trapped on a planet marked for doom! Our desperate search for Isis III’s mysterious inhabitants has only led us to a strange old woman! But now I have a more immediate concern than saving the lives of the inhabitants—namely, saving the lives of the crew and myself!” Below that a smaller narration box reads, “On the Enterprise...” Two speech bubbles are coming from the Enterprise, one reading, “Are you sure about these figures this time, laddie?” and the other one, “I’ve checked and double checked everything, Scotty!”]

Part two begins with Scotty harassing Sulu in an exchange so generic you could probably stick the dialogue into a good half of all TOS episodes with barely any variation. “I hope you reach the captain before it’s too late for all of us!” Scotty says, to which Sulu replies, “I’m trying but something down there is interfering!” Having established this very important bit of information about what the people back on the ship are getting up to, we immediately leave them behind again and get back to the planet.

Kirk helps Chapel up, or at least, he kneels beside her and says, “Are you feeling better, nurse?” Yes, Chapel says, she’s fine now, but she doesn’t know what happened—she just fainted. No worries, low blood sugar happens to the best of us.

But Kirk isn’t satisfied with that. “You!” he shouts at Isis. “You’re behind all this, somehow, aren’t you?!” Unconcerned as ever, Isis replies, “You have come to record my death! So be it! But on my terms!”

Rather than make any effort to engage with her to figure out what she means, Kirk declares that this whole thing is hopeless-- “trapped on a sinking ship with a lunatic!” That’s what I love about Kirk, he’s so sensitive and respectful. But Spock has had an idea. Maybe, he says, when Isis said her people were “down there” she meant it literally. Perhaps they’re underground, in some sort of shelter. Wait...you mean, it’s possible that Isis could actually have meant what she said? I dunno about that, man. I mean, what she said didn’t immediately make sense to us, so I’m pretty sure it must be total nonsense.

But there’s not much else for them to do, so Kirk has Uhuru (sigh) and Chapel stay behind to try and get “some sense out of Isis” while he and Spock go looking for some kind of passage or tunnel around this joint. It takes all of one panel before Spock locates the incredibly obvious switch on the wall that opens a secret door.

[ID: Kirk and Spock standing in a long stone corridor, facing the wall. Spock is pressing on a large panel engraved with a triangle-eye symbol, which makes a CLICK! He says, “Captain! Come quick! I believe I have found a way to our “Lost Isisians!” Between him and Kirk a door is opening in the wall with a ‘HYMMMMMMMM MMMMMM’.]

For an extremely loose definition of ‘secret’, anyway.

While Spock and Kirk are off making their Perception checks, Isis, having finally gotten rid of that annoying guy who keeps shouting at her whenever she tries to say anything, leads Uhura and Chapel out on a walk in the garden, because “There is much yet to say and little time to say it!” As they head outside, some mysterious lights appear.

[ID: Chapel and Uhura flanking Isis, each with a hand on her back, leading her down a path through some greenery. A line of sparkling orbs is snaking around the three women.]

That’s probably fine.

Meanwhile, Spock is showing off his discovery to Kirk, when suddenly...uh, actually, I’m not entirely sure what’s going on here. I guess either the switch opened up the door in the wall and then a second door in the floor underneath them, or else they both just tripped and fell through the first door.

[ID: Three panels. On the top left, Kirk and Spock are looking at the door opening into the wall. A narration box leads, “Suddenly, while Mr. Spock investigates...” Kirk says, “What is it, Mr. Spock? What have you found!” Spock says, “Very simple, Captain. This “eye” seems to operate some kind of…..” On the right, a long panel shows Kirk and Spock falling into an abyss, Spock yelling, “...TRAP DOOOOR!” while Kirk yells, “WE’RE FLOATING! SPOCK!” On the bottom left, Kirk and Spock have landed in a cave. Spock says, “Though the odds were against it, there must have been a second passageway below our feet!” Kirk says, “Odds or no odds…..”]

What do you mean, the odds were against it? Spock, I don’t know if you’ve been playing too much Oblivion lately or what, but the architectural features of most buildings are not randomly generated. People either put doors in places or they don’t, there’s not just like a 30% chance of a trapdoor spawning in any given location.

But regardless of how the passage got there, they’ve clearly happened upon something significant. Or, as Kirk puts it:

[ID: Kirk and Spock look out through the cavern at a large underground city in the distance. Kirk puts his hand on Spock’s shoulder and says, “You’ve hit the jackpot, Mr. Spock!”]

Any hopes of locating a friendly NPC and getting some exposition about this weird place are quickly dashed, though, because closer examination reveals the city to be a thoroughly abandoned ruin. As they explore, Kirk wonders once again where everyone went, and why they left Isis behind. Luckily, Spock happens to stumble upon a room that has exactly what they need.

[ID: Three panels. On the top left, Spock is beckoning Kirk into a room that contains a pile of tapes and other junk in the corner. Spock says, “Perhaps these will tell us, captain!” Kirk says, “What have you got there, Mr. Spock?” In the right panel, Spock and Kirk look towards the tapes, each with a glowing spot on their forehead. Spock says, “They appear to be history tapes, captain!” Kirk says, “I can hear them, see them inside my head!” In the bottom panel, the light on Kirk’s head projects an image of a planet in space with a sun shining in the distance and a triangle with an eye hanging above the planet. A disembodied narrator says, “At first there was only “the eye”, Isis!”]

Well that’s an unorthodox method of data storage.

The tapes go on to explain how Isis—represented here by an Eye of Providence for some reason-- created life on the planet, inasmuch as the word ‘explain’ can be used to mean ‘somehow made things even more confusing than they were to begin with.’

[ID: Four panels. On the top left, a red sun is shining above a jungle, with the pyramid floating above it all. The narrator says, “And ISIS looked down on our world and saw that there was no light!” On the top right, the pyramid floats above the planet with a stream of tiny yellow eyes falling from it onto the planet, while the narrator says, “So Isis seeded the earth with her eyes!” On the bottom left, the eyes fall onto the ground, and a fuzzy red humanoid figure emerges from the earth. “And there-in rose up a people called Isisians!” On the bottom right, the figure looks up at the sun, which now has the pyramid in it. “And when they looked up there was light! For Isis now lived among them!”]

I’m...assuming this is some kind of metaphor, but it might make just as much sense either way.

Anyway, the Isisians (try saying that one three times fast) built the temple to house Isis, who proceeded to stay there to be with her children on the planet. Everything was great for a while, but “all things must pass! Even peoples! Even suns!”

[ID: A panel showing several figures gathered around the temple as the pyramid jumps up into the sky while the narrator says “And thus it came time for Isis to return to the sky, taking with her the gifts of life and light!”]

“alright my children it’s been fun but I gotta bounce byyyeeeeee”

The narrator (do you think they got some famous Isisian VA to do this?) concludes by relating that “in the twilight of our race, we have groped blindly underground to make this our final resting place! Yet we are not bitter! We are sad! For one day Isis too must give up the eye and pass! Thus ends our story! Thus ends our race!” So, what, they recorded their entire history and just left it laying around on a tape in some random room before they all went extinct? Were they intending for someone to come find this someday as a last record of them or did they just do it for kicks?

Well, anyway, Kirk is impressed. “Am I correct in assuming, Spock, that we have heard the legend of a people long since extinct?” he asks. “25 million years extinct, Captain, if my estimate is accurate!” Spock replies. Your...your estimate? Your estimate based on what, exactly? Did you just look around the city and go “hmmm yeah this looks about 25 million years old” or what? Also, that is one hell of a sturdy record tape that’s still fully functional 25 million years later. Can I get one of those anywhere? Cause I’ve had this harddrive for like five years and it’s starting to go on me.

Back up on the ship, Sulu is being pointed at so dramatically he’s having to lean back to get out of the way.

[ID: A panel showing the Enterprise bridge, with a narration box reading “Meanwhile, on board the Enterprise...” Scotty is pointing dramatically at Sulu, saying, “Still no luck, Sulu?” Sulu, only his head visible at an awkward angle in the corner of the panel, is saying, “No sir!”]

Scotty proceeds to explain to Sulu, who presumably already knows all this, that “Ya got tah raise ‘em, laddie! When the captain beamed down we told him he had twenty-four hours! But that was a mistake! That blasted star could go at any minute according to our new figures! If we stay, the whole ship’s in danger! If we go….” That’s all in one panel, by the way—there’s barely room for his head left under the speech bubble.

Having delivered his exposition, there’s not much left for Scotty to do but tell Sulu to keep doing what he’s been doing. Meanwhile, we’re told that Spock and Kirk “returned to the surface via the transport tube.” Ah yes, the transport tube. The transport tube that was definitely clearly established before that panel. That transport tube. Oh, and Uhura tells them she no longer wishes to change Isis’s mind.

[ID: Spock, Kirk, Uhura and Chapel standing in front of some trees and bushes, while Isis stands in the right corner. Kirk is saying, “You what??” Chapel says, “We no longer wish to change her mind, captain! We respect her right to die!” Uhura says, “She has a kind of nobility, sir! A soul! I have a tremendous empathy for her!”]

What, did you not think she had a soul before?

Kirk, apparently, takes quite a hard line on the whole right to die debate, because he immediately accuses Isis of bewitching his crewmembers. “See if you can reason with Isis!” he tells Spock, having made absolutely no attempt to reason with Isis. “I give up!”

Spock says he’ll try, but “logic rarely works on humans!” He then confronts Isis on how she earlier claimed that her people left just moments ago, “Yet there have been no humans on this world for millions of years! How do you explain that?” Which is an odd thing to say, considering that the images of the Isisians we saw were quite clearly not humans, yet Spock’s first statement rules out the idea of him using ‘human’ as a catchall term for sapient lifeforms. Evidently Spock’s definition of ‘human’ is ‘everybody in the galaxy that’s not a Vulcan.’

“So you have heard the legend of Isis?” Isis says, still as unperturbed as ever. “What do you think of it?” “An interesting folk tale!” Spock replies. Evidently this was not the right answer.

[ID: Spock and Isis stand in the background, Isis with one hand on Spock’s forehead, as she says, “Your logic is a cage, Mr. Spock! Come closer and let me set you free!” Red and yellow swirls are extending out from her in all directions. In the foreground, Chapel, Uhura and Kirk are watching. Uhura says, “Captain? What’s happening to her?” Kirk, leaning away in alarm, says, “I don’t know! It looks like...yes! That’s it!”]

What? What is it? What’s happening? Is she...no, she couldn’t be...

[ID: A tall panel showing the pyramid of Isis at the top with red and yellow light/flames emanating from it as the four landing party members float in the air. Isis says, “Farewell! Kirk says, “ISIS IS EXPLO...”]

Hmm, still not sure what’s going on. Could we get that confirmed one more time, please?

[ID: A panel on the Enterprise bridge, with a narration box reading, “On the Enterprise...” Sulu is standing up from his helm panel, saying, “The planet is exploding right now, sir!” Scotty rises from his own chair and says, “Then it’s...”]

cool thanks

Before Scotty can get the bagpipes out for a funeral dirge, our brave heroes are whisked onto the bridge, remarkably unexploded. For another few seconds, at least.

[ID: Three panels. On the top right, a narration box reads “At that exact instant...” above Chapel, Uhura, Kirk and Spock appearing on the bridge in a flash of light. Scotty, in the foreground, exclaims, “Captain Kirk! Spock!! Uhura! Chapel! How??” Someone in the landing party says, “Oooo! What’s happening? Am I dreaming?” On the bottom left, Scotty throws out his hands towards Sulu, saying, “Sulu! Warp eight! Immediately!” while Sulu says, “It’s...too...” On the bottom right, Sulu yells, “...Late! Ugh!” as explosions rock the bridge with ‘OOF!’ and ‘EEEEEEEEE!’ sounds and the helm shorts out with a ‘BZZZZT!’]

well maybe we would’ve had time if Scotty hadn’t stood around shouting the names of every single person in the landing party

And then the planet explodes. Hang on, I thought it was the sun that was exploding? Man, supernovas are confusing.

Luckily for the Enterprise, it turns out supernovas are also remarkably like hurricanes.

[ID: A large panel showing the Enterprise caught in a stream of energy from the pyramid of Isis as rocks and flame explode out from it. A narration box at the top reads, “The Enterprise is buffeted like a paper airplane in a hurricane as the force of a billion atomic bombs washes over it! Yet, like a hurricane, there is a place of calm in the center of the violence and the Enterprise, as though guided by some unseen protector, rides out the storm...in “the eye” of the hurricane!”]

Or, to put things less poetically:

[ID: The Enterprise bridge filled with smoke, a narration box reading “Suddenly...” Scotty, looking up with a stunned expression, says, “It’s a miracle! We’re saved! We’re in some sort of space pocket!”]

is that like a hot pocket

Unconcerned by the smoke now filling the bridge, Scotty asks Kirk what happened down on the planet. “I’m not sure, Scotty!” Kirk says, speaking for the audience. He asks Spock what he saw when Isis touched his forehead. Spock replies that he “felt...er...admiration, captain! And I saw things...inconceivable things! And I saw that a star had taken on human form in its final hours, so that it could talk to us!”

“You mean that Isis really was Isis?” Uhura exclaims. “It does explain a lot of things, lieutenant!” Kirk says. “Like how she could use the planet’s resources against us! And how she was able to block communications!” ...does it explain those things? Can stars usually control planets? Did I miss that episode of Cosmos?

As the Enterprise flies off, Kirk wonders if this means that stars really are living beings. “From what I glimpsed, captain, they may be more “alive” than we are!” Spock replies.

[ID: The Enterprise flies away with star-filled space on its right and a blue sky with a large sun on its left. A speech bubble from the ship reads, “Mr. Spock, next time we’re in the vicinity, remind me to have a long chat with our “lucky ole sun”, will you?”]

I dunno man, it didn’t go super well when they tried it in that Doctor Who episode.

And so ends another issue, with yet another planet destroyed. There’s not gonna be many planets left by the time this series ends. At least they didn’t start any wars on this one first, although I’m sure if there had been more than one person down there they would have found a way.

[banyak100418]

i love you 100.

aka why i love you. aka word vomit of the things about you and us that make my life worth living. (warning: nsfw sprinkled throughout.)

 1. “love” itself sounds like an easy word to say. it gets thrown around a lot. but when i say that i love you, i mean that i love you. i’m in love with you. i mean it with every single fiber that makes up who i am. i mean that i care about your happiness even more than my own, because you, to me, are the sun.

 2. i like thinking about the first time we ever interacted. it’s been almost two years. july first. who would have known that everwing game invites will bring me to my home. they say it’s a small world but for me, it’s a vast universe, and it overwhelms me to think that among the billions of galaxies, people and creatures, you and i happened to be the people that we are, and we have found our way to one another. everything that happened had transpired in the right time and for all the right reasons, because this path brought me to miss right (a.k.a you).

 3. when we started doing our 11:11’s, i thought i was only wishing for your comfort and happiness, but in time i found myself wishing to have you, too. i always find it so endearing, how we basically started with this, how we gradually learned each other’s feelings by wishing each other happiness every night. and to this day, we still do it when we can, and it make my heart do a double flip.

 4. at some point there, you sent me something, telling me not to worry, because you’ll hold my hand the whole way through – and you have, you always did. you never broke your promise.

 5. cliché as fuck, but you are beautiful. inside and out. you are a beautiful soul. even if you think otherwise, i still think you’re the most beautiful, flaws and all. i’m proud to say that i have the most beautiful girlfriend in the entire world, and her majestic existence alone is enough to convince me to keep on going.

 6. your rosy, chubby cheeks that i love kissing so much.

 7. it’s your lips. so fucking irresistible. plump and sweet. 10/10 would kiss again. 100/100 would kiss everyday.

 8. you’re sexy when you’re sleepy. did you know that?

 9. you say you don’t like your hair, but they’re beautiful to me. your curls are cute as fuck. thinking about them makes me wanna touch them again. wanna run my fingers through them while we cuddle.

 10. you have a talented tongue. eyemoji.

 11. you give great cuddles. i love you. please cuddle me soon. i wanna cuddle you, too.

 12. your eyes and the way they light up when you eat nice food, or the way they gradually get a little glassy and sad when i cry a little too hard in front of you.

 13. it’s also the way they look at me, as if there’s something in me that’s worth seeing. your vision’s pretty bad (and that’s okay, i’d still love you even when you get old and blind), but you see everything in me that no one else couldn’t – that i couldn’t.

 14. hah, and the way they disappear when you smile your cutest smile, when your cheeks go all the way up and you’re just like ^u^.

 15. your laugh. sometimes you get giggly, like a low “hhhh” and it’s so cute.

 16.  but sometimes when i say something that just makes you laugh like “HAHAHAHA” my heart just forgets what i made you laugh in the first place, because all it knows now is to adore you. i hope you laugh like that more, my baby. your laughter can cure cancer and bring world peace.

 17. i love it when you laugh at my memes. i love how you laugh at my stupid, dumb jokes. know that you don’t always have to laugh at them if you don’t find them funny (because most of them are really dumb hhh), but honestly the only reason why i share them is because they made me laugh, and the only other person that i wanna see laughing is you.

 18. i absolutely love watching you eat. i love how you finish all of your food and you look so, so happy whenever you eat. i can be full just by watching you eat and be happy with food. my baby.

 19. you are my sunshine. one look at you and my problems and worries float away. when we talk, when i’m in your arms, i’m able to tune out the outer world, and i can only focus on you. my light.

 20. i say this in the most loving way possible—you have a crazy side that i always love seeing. it surprises me every time you bring this crazy out, when you sing your random little songs, or just suddenly make derpy faces or extreme green jokes. keep your crazy on, baby. i love everything about it.

 21. i absolutely love watching you gain consciousness in the morning. it’s one of the simple joys that i have in life. i love how, when you wake up and you don’t have anything important to do, it takes you like a hundred years to force your right eye open.

22. you snore. it’s cute. i love it. keep snoring. snore at my face. heck, snore right on my ear. i love you that much.

 23.  your voice. i remember at first you kept telling me that you don’t sound good. you were so insecure. but i couldn’t even find what is it about your voice that doesn’t “sound good”, because to me, your voice is sweet and comforting. like a blanket.

 24. the random selcas you send me sometimes, whether you’re sporting a derpy face or posing prettily, i love them all.

 25. also whenever i see those my heart goes dugeun-dugeun and all i could think of is: “so pretty. wanna kith.”

 26. i’m sorry that i often sound like i don’t care much when you do things for me, or when you do things that i ask of you. i appreciate each and every single one of them, baby. it’s endearing how you always want to be able to do things for me, and for all your other loved ones. you are really one of a kind. especially that time you gave me a gift by singing for me on my birthday.

 27. i could never forget the feeling that i had when you booked that ticket to see me. i was so happy, i felt like i was floating. it was all just so surreal. it was almost too good to be true for me. it’s a feeling that i’m always reminding myself of, the feeling that we made it happen the first time. and we also made it happen the second time. we’re gonna make it happen the third time (i’mma book my ticket soon!), and the fourth, and the fifth, and the sixth, until the day we don’t have to be miles away from one another anymore. this love, and everything that we are, is just extraordinary and i would never in a million years trade our love for anything else in this world.

 28. the first time i saw you, i was drawn to you. i’m not a hugger. but i ran to you before i could even think, before i could even process what was happening, or what i was about to do. you were a tiny bit awkward and taken aback, i could tell, but you hugged me back anyway and it was the most comforting hug in the world. to me it was something that i’ve always dreamed of (and i’d never thought i’d have), and when you put your arms around me i had this idea that maybe it was the same for you too, maybe you had wanted to hold me just as much as i was dying to hold you.

 29. when i asked us to sit down at the café for the meantime while the driver found his way to us, you immediately took your phone out. i don’t know, i could tell that you were trying to ignore how awkward it could get so i was just watching you with a smile but you couldn’t even look back at me? and it was just so fucking cute? you were so shy. you asked me “why” and i was like “nothing” but in reality i was falling hard and fast for you there. i love you. god, i love you.

 30. and on our way to the hotel, when you actually kinda called me in to scoot closer and hold your hand, i was on cloud nine.

 31. (later i learned that your hands aren’t only soft to the touch and nice to hold—you’re also talented in using them in other ways. like. you know. in bed.)

 32. on our second day, when i got home from class, i climbed to your bed and started falling asleep in your arms. you were running your fingers through my hair. it might just be my imagination, but as i was being lulled to sleep, i think i heard you tell me that you love me, in the softest voice. the way my heart jumped was something i’ve never felt before, and in that moment i confirmed to myself that this is what i am going to live for.  

 33. i like how you smell and just thinking about it makes me miss you so much, like holy fuck.

 34. i miss how your hair smells. sometimes i open rejoice bottles at the grocery store just to get a whiff of your scent, but it just isn’t the same. i miss you.

 35. when we were at baler, that night we went out and walked back to our place, it was scary but i felt strong beside you, even if you were scared of mongmongs. we’ll have more late-night walks, right? i will protect you from doggo. we’ll go to more beaches in our lifetime, and we’ll make out by the waves and under the stars each time.

 36. i’m sorry that our first kiss was shitty… but i hope i made it up to you? that kiss on the beach? to this day, i still find it to be the most picture-perfect experience i’ve ever had. do you ever wonder just how many people have had their perfect kiss? because i have, and it’s you, you are my perfect kiss. kisses are always perfect with you but there’s just really something about that kiss by the beach. we’ll do more perfect kisses. a hundred. a billion. we’ll make the most out of our time, all the kisses we missed while we were still far from one another.

 37. you are a wonderful friend. whenever you talk to me about your friends, or like when they have issues or something, i understand that you don’t particularly like it when you’re being dragged into their situations, but at the end of the day, you are still good to them and they can still call you whenever they need anything.

 38. you are so good at keeping civil relationships with everyone, and unknowingly, you help peace prevail among your colleagues.

 39. your work ethics. ugh. [ 100 emoji ]. i don’t know why you don’t see it, but you work so hard and so well. you are so good at what you do. i am always so, so proud of you. i’m proud that between the two of us, you seem to have most of the working brain cells, hahahaha.

 40. you ARE good at math. a fucking genius. i’m SO turned on.  

 41. you are creative af. i still remember the stuff you did on canva for the newsletter. you’re so good. like damn. i could never. THAT’S MY BABY RIGHT THERE.

 42. you know so many awful things about me. you know how my dad abused me. you know how i’m not very good at certain things. you know that i’m not really someone who has a nice face, and also, i’m fat. you know that i have the tendency to commit certain mistakes. and yet you’re still here.

 43. i’m not intelligent – at all – but you always tell me that i am. i’m not creative, nor pretty, nor cute, nor anything, but you always remind me that for you, i am every good quality that i don’t think i have, and somehow, i start to learn how to own them. you boost my confidence up, baby. even when i’m a shitty painter, the way you hype me up makes me feel like i can be up van gogh’s ass.

 44. whenever you’re sad, crying, or just generally not feeling well, i have this overwhelming urge to run there and at least hold your hand or hug you. i want to protect you, in any way that i can. it’s like one of my biggest missions in life. i wanna protect you, even though you’re much braver than i am.

 45. you are easy to love. you don’t make it difficult for anyone to love you – you are just lovable as you already are, and baby, trust me when i say that i fall for you harder everyday.

 46. you always know what to tell me, to make my heart find comfort. i hope i could be the same for you.

 47. you are not afraid to stand up for yourself, and that’s so brave. if it had not been for you, i wouldn’t have learned that standing up for myself isn’t wrong. every day, you give me strength and courage to fight for myself, just like how you do. it’ll still take me a long time to figure out how to do it consistently, but being with someone as brave and strong-willed like you is such an inspirational blessing.

 48. have i mentioned how much i love your lips? and our kisses? i’m pretty sure i did but i just wanna remind you just how much i wanna kiss you again. soon.

 49. when we first started dating, i wasn’t very good at communicating – like i’m just very shit at it, i don’t reply and i don’t always say the things i want to say because i don’t know how – but from you, i learned. i appreciate how good you are in this area, and how you always do your best to check up on me, or at least update me when you are doing things. i love you. i’m so happy i have someone like you. rather than just filling in my weaknesses, you help me improve myself.

 50. you try your best to have a very objective, almost perfectly neutral approach to problems but not without using your heart. us humans are naturally emotional, and to me, having the ability to be able to solve a problem by properly investigating the logistics of it, while at the same time keeping a heart, is a superpower.

 51. you are not afraid to argue with me when you know that i’m wrong, and although i have to admit that i sometimes get scared when you’re mad at me, i appreciate that you are bringing things up for the sake of fixing things between us. i am eternally grateful that you are a kind heart, that you call me out when i am wrong not because you want to shove my mistakes to my face, but because you want us to be better. all the more reasons why i should never let you go.

 52. i know that you always got my back. when things feel like they just can’t work the way i hoped they would be, thinking about us and how the universe just allowed us to be with one another despite all the circumstances gives me so much faith.

 53. you listen very well. with you, i feel like you actually want to know about the things that i’m talking about. you always hum and nod along like “i’m listening, go on”, even when i feel like what i’m talking about is very boring or nerdy or dumb. when you do that, i feel very loved. i appreciate that so much.

 54. you listen very well pt. 2, in the sense that when you do not understand something, you ask me so i can clarify it, and in return, you carefully listen to what i have to say. you listen so you can understand. you always give me a chance to speak. i appreciate it, all of it.

 55. YOU are a star. at everything. you’re good at everything you do, you always makes things work and even when you don’t, you’re still good and like i said earlier, you always make me so so proud of you. i love you. i hope you’re proud of yourself, too.

 56. i am tough to deal with, tough to understand at times, especially when i’m sick or going through something, but i’ve never ever seen you give up on me because you were tired. thank you for being patient.

 57. you hate waiting but you do it for me. i’m sorry. i love you. i’m sorry.

 58. absolutely love your pussy. i love eating you out. your wet pussy’s just so beautiful to me. also, i love how you’d run your fingers through my hair. i can’t wait until i get to taste you again, baby.

 59.  also, can i just say that whenever i see you looking at me, my heart still stops?

 60. the way you teach me malay, and the way you laugh at me when i say things with a foreign accent. nasi lemak sambal sotong? u w u

 61. the way you SPEAK tagalog. you’re so cute. you’re like a baby. whenever i remember how you repeat “dalawa” “na lang” “mahal kita”, my heart melts. i love you. so much.

 62. it’s a small detail, but when i have issues and you’re trying to help me with it, you always ask me what you can do for me. whenever i hear it, i become much stronger because i get reminded that you’re here, with me, willing to do whatever just to keep me at ease.

 63. another small detail, but whenever i’m going through something, you always say ‘we’ or ‘us’ instead of just ‘you’ or ‘me’. “we’ll make it.” / “can we eat our dinner soon?” / “is there any way for us to deal with it?”

 64. ah,, the way you grope me unapologetically in public. especially that time you claimed me at the bus. fuck. that was so hot. do it again. (suddenly i’m thinking of making out with you in a fitting room.)

 65. also, whenever i let you watch me fuck myself on vidcall and you ask me like, “good?”, i swear to god i can cum from that alone.

 66. i love you even when you think you are not worth loving, even when you feel like such a failure as a sister to your siblings, as a daughter to your family, or even as a lover to me.

 67. i love you even when we’re not okay as a couple. even when i’m not okay as an individual. even more when you are not okay as an individual. some nights are just so bad, and i am sorry for even letting us go through such things, but even so, we get through them. that is the most important thing, right? a lot of times, giving up has crossed our minds but did we ever? no, because we are meant to be.

 68. i love you. i know you love me, too. that love just never goes away, and it is the kind of love that is always worth keeping.

69. you, my baby, deserve this entire world. you deserve the sun, the moon, and all the other stars in the sky. you deserve the entire universe and a lifetime’s worth of love. i know that it’s impossible to swim from the ocean to the sky and personally pick out the most beautiful star for you but know that i’ll dedicate my life to giving you everything else that i could.

 70. i also know that i am still imperfect and sometimes i just couldn’t deliver, but i am asking for patience because i am still learning for you. i want to be better for you.

 71. actually, the mere idea that you always make me want to be a better individual for you already makes you such a wonderful person. again, for the nth time, i am so lucky to have someone like you.

 72. i love how you touch me. i love how you love my boobs. i love how you rub your my clit. i loved how your fingers felt inside me, like fuck. it was so good.

 73. i especially love how you kiss them and run your tongue gently against my nipples until they perk up.

 74. you never failed to support me. although sometimes, you don’t necessarily agree with my methods or the decisions i make, you support me anyway – you’re still there, you never left.

 75. if you ever need a kidney, i got two.

 76. if you ever need a heart, mine is all yours.

 77. i asked the universe for happiness, you gave me so much more. you gave me peace, you gave me wonder, you gave me hope and light when it’s just pitch black. i’m too far gone, too far in love with you and your soul that i swear i’d lose everything if i lost you.

 78. you can have my everything and i don’t even have second doubts about it. i am uncertain about a shit ton of things, but i am certain that i love you, and i want to build a future with you.

 79. and this is the part where i start daydreaming about the everything we’re going to have.

 80. you and i, we will be one. we’ll be happier. we will be okay. i will be your wife, and you will be mine.

 81. we’re going to have a house of our own. not too big, and not too small – just enough for you and me to be in our own little world. can we grow houseplants? i’d love to grow my own herbs by a windowsill.

 82. i’d cook for you. maybe not everyday, because remember you’re dating a lazy ass bitch and i know sometimes we’d both come home just hungry as fuck that we’d want to just order take out, but if you ask me to, i will put on that apron and cook for you. i wanna be that nurturing housewife, you know? (of course i want some kissy kissy while i cook. may i have those too?)

 83. don’t forget the nine cats we’re gonna adopt. we’re going to love each and every one of them. they’re gonna be like our children. you are going to be such a great fur-mom to our future cats. i can’t wait to see that.

 84. i’m gonna do housekeeping. i’ll clean the toilet for us, you’ll do the dishwashing. i’ll happily fold your clothes and iron them always.

 85. we need house rules. maybe at least five. number one should be “don’t forget to kiss your wife goodbye”. if i can’t go to work with you, then you better give me that kith before you go. > : c

 86. i won’t let you get out of the house without breakfast. but if you’re running late, i’m gonna make sure you have a packed meal ready, so that you won’t be too hungry when you get to work. <3

 87. you’ll do your best at work like always. when you come home tired, or when you want to rant about your coworkers, i’ll hold your hand and kiss you while you talk, so that you can calm down. when i feel like wanting to give up, you’ll be there for me like always, and you’ll pick me up from my slump.

 88. on our off days, we’ll stay in, eat pizza and ice cream, and watch Netflix, hold hands, kiss and cuddle.

 89. ^ if you’re bored with that, we can go out and explore. you can drag my lazy ass outside, it’s fine, as long as i can get to see your pretty pretty smile.

 90. i’m gonna have my master’s degree! and be a good housewife for you. you’re going to reach everything you want to achieve, learn everything you want to learn, earn everything you want to earn, because you are my #BestAgent, #CEO, #RichMama.  we’re gonna witness everything fall into place, not only for me, but for you and all the people that we love.

 91. not all marriages are perfect… there’s gonna be yelling here and there. but we’ll get through them, just like how we get through things right now.

 92. we’ll grow together, as a couple and as individuals. i’ll learn so many things from you, and i’ll be able to share some of my knowledge with you, too.

 93. you and i will grow old. together. we’ll see each other’s hairs turn gray, we’ll lose our teeth together and laugh about each other’s wrinkles when we’re much older.

 94. (i wonder how the sex is gonna be when we reach that age. hmm. we’re gonna be so lethargic. we really need to invest on vibrators. HAHAHAHAH jks.)

 95. all of the things i listed above are the things that keep me going – the things that keep me sane. it’s you, beautiful. you keep me on my feet, you help me get back on track. but most of all, you give me hope that i will be able to spend a lifetime being happy with you. you give me hope that i deserve to be happy with the person that i love, despite my past and the issues that i carry from those scars.

 96. there are lots. there are a million other beautiful things about you and me that i failed to mention, and there will be a billion more memories to create with each other. along with those memories, i will learn a gazillion more reasons to love you.

 97. like that one 8bitfiction quote, “i forgive the world because it has you” – it’s true; the world is ugly but it’s beautiful to me. you make all the difference, baby.

 98. we will be okay. you and i will have our happily ever after, so i need you to hang on tight until we get there. me too, i’ll be here, i’ll always do my best, and i’ll always hang on tight so that we can reach our dreams together.

 99.  you’ll always have me. i’m not going anywhere.

 100.  and even before you ask in the future, for the record, yes, i will marry you.

 i love you, baby. happy valentine’s day. <3 

[squidlauncher64-blog]

3 Reasons Star Wars will Never Live up to the Hype, and 3 Reasons Why That’s fine

Star Wars fans are very passionate and usually more intense than other fanbases. For many of the fans, Star Wars was an important part of their childhood. Star Wars showcased a universe with interesting creatures and worlds, along with characters and stories that are relatable; essentially teaching kids to use their imagination. This passion continued on into adulthood for most fans and is comparable only to fans of sports teams. This passion makes the fanbase very opinionated. Just ask any fan what they thought of episode VIII (be careful if you decide to do this, you could be in for a very long discussion). The fans are so opinionated that they have crafted long arguments all over the internet, for example, the who shot first debate between Han Solo and Greedo. Another popular argument is “ are ewoks cute creatures or vicious carnivores? just to name a few. The fanbase isn’t just opinionated about Star Wars they are obsessive about it. Not only do fans argue about Star Wars, they go beyond that to in-depth research that constitutes a fan theory: a much more complex type of fan argument. Fan theories are speculation about where a film or franchise is heading or an answer to a question posed by fans. All fan theories are based on evidence found in films and other sources. Some popular fan theories include why do Stormtroopers have bad aim and was Darth Vader not completely evil until after episode IV? But with this obsession comes high expectations from every fan. Here are 3 reasons why Star Wars can’t live up to the hype and 3 reasons why it’s acceptable that Star Wars doesn't meet expectations.

#1 The abundance of fan theories

As mentioned above, we all want Star Wars to live up to our expectations from our favorite fan theories. When Star Wars episode VII came out, the big mystery was, who are Rey’s parents. Many theories were formulated to answer that question. Some theorized that Rey was the daughter of Luke Skywalker; others believed she was a granddaughter of Obi-Wan Kenobi, or that she was Leia and Han Solo’s daughter; still others believed that she was a daughter of Palpatine. A significant amount of research was put into these theories, some even analyzing Rey’s fighting style to compare it to Palpatine’s. Other theories state that Han Solo and Leia don’t recognize Rey in their first encounter with her as evidence that she was not their child. Some fan theories delve even deeper, stating that Obi-Wan is the one who calls out to her in her force vision in episode VII. Rey could only have one parentage and some fans were disappointed when her parentage was revealed.

Another fan theory came from Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi about Luke specifically (Spoilers in the paragraph below). These fan theories were formed to explain the cause Luke’s death at the end of the episode VIII. Some fans believe that he died from the effort of projecting himself across the galaxy to save the Resistance. Others believe he died because he willingly became one with the force, that he had accomplished what he had to do and had finally forgiven himself for the mistakes he made by helping create Kylo Ren by drawing out his dark side. The fans have spent a lot of time trying to create these fan theories that predict desirable outcomes for the characters. Realistically, not all of them will be true and some fans will feel let down.  

#2 The spectacle of Star Wars battles

One of the staples of Star Wars movies is the large scale battles. We have come to expect very intense battles characterized by incredible music, high stakes, creative camera work, and epic combat. In Star Wars Episode IV for example, we have the Death Star, a massive battle station capable of destroying planets. The Empire has found the Rebel base and the Rebels are racing to blow up the Death Star. They are outgunned, outmanned, and have to destroy the Death Star before the Empire can fire on the rebel base. In Star Wars episode V, we have the battle of Hoth, the Empire has found the new Rebel base and starts an epic ground assault to take over the base, and they attempt to prevent the Rebels from escaping. In Star Wars Rogue One, the Rebels are attempting to steal the Death Star plans from a data vault. They try to sneak in but they are discovered and an epic battle ensues on the planet and in space.         

Although some battles live up to the hype, others do not. This does not mean that they are terrible, just not up to fan expectations. Star Wars episode VIII has an epic final battle on Crait and the Resistance is pinned in a bunker without a way to escape. The only ships the Resistance can use are old clunkers; a major disadvantage for the heroes. Then Luke comes back and distracts the First Order, while the Resistance finds a way out. This fell short in the eyes of fans because the Resistance finds a way to escape, instead of a major conflict with the First Order like the fans were expecting.  In episode III,  the Chancellor has been captured by the Separatists and the Republic mounts an epic space assault to save him. Anakin and Obi-Wan board a huge ship and fight through many enemies to rescue Chancellor Palpatine. This battle fell short because the majority of the scenes are dedicated to saving the Chancellor; the fans would have wanted a drawn out space battle. While Star Wars has displayed many great battles, some have fallen short in the eyes of fans.  

#3 Star Wars means something different to different fans

       Star Wars is unique in that it appeals to different people for a variety of reasons. These different reasons, hopes, or dreams for Star Wars often divide the fanbase. I personally still enjoy Star Wars; I grew up watching the original trilogy and the prequels. These movies spoke to me as a kid. Star Wars is a story about a boy who came from humble circumstances as a farmer that later saved the galaxy. I felt if Luke could do that, I could be whoever I wanted to be. I cherished these stories, because I learned courage as a kid, if Luke could stand up to the Empire, I could stand up for what I knew was right and overcome adversity. That is why I am fond of Star Wars. I have met fans who like Star Wars because it takes you to far away places where you meet new creatures. I have met other fans who enjoy the space battles and even some fans who root for the Empire to win. There is only 2 hours in a film and in that limited time the directors cannot feasibly appeal to all of the fanbase.

#1 Unrealistic expectations of fans

The directors of Star Wars movies are under a tremendous amount of pressure, to both please the fanbase and make money for the studio that is creating Star Wars. As was previously stated, Rey could only have one parentage, the director made a choice about her parentage, and many fans were disappointed. Some fans want Kylo Ren and Rey to become a couple and that hasn’t happened yet. Many fans believe that Luke did not behave like they would have wanted or expected in episode VIII. Luke Skywalker, in episode VIII, was a man who was beaten, who didn’t want to save the galaxy. According to some fans and critics, Star Wars episode VII was too similar to episode IV. As a result of the reviews from Star Wars VII, the movie studio decided to make a radically different and new film in Star Wars episode VIII, but they drew mixed reviews from audience and critics alike. The directors are in a tough situation to please a passionate fanbase.

To add to this pressure that is put on them from the fans, the directors films are expected to be successful. Fans have specific expectations rising from the fan theories and fan arguments; almost every fan has someway they want these movies to play out. The directors have to make specific decisions about plot and character development; these specific decisions can alienate different factions of the fanbase. To even further stress out the directors, Disney bought Star Wars for four billion dollars and they expect to make a significant of money off of this investment.          

#2 The need to appeal to different audiences

    In order for Star Wars to be profitable, it needs to appeal to multiple audiences not just the fanatical fanbase. There is the occasional moviegoer, for whom the movie would have to be simple and easy to understand. No need to talk about parsecs and gundarks. Another audience is kids, they want to see the hero triumph, they want to be filled with hope that they can overcome their challenges, that good will triumph over evil. Finally there are fanboys or the fanbase, the polar opposite of the occasional movie viewer. The fanboys want to study the movie, find all the easter eggs, and have the movie play out how they would want or expect based off of extensive research.   

Disney is supposed to appeal to all these different audiences and that seems impossible. Just imagine what would happen if directors tried to appease everyone, the movie would be long, confusing, and the plot wouldn’t make sense. With all these things that make Star Wars likeable to different audiences, now the creators have to please everyone and that is not a realistic expectation for the creators to fulfill all of our hopes or desires.

#3 At least we still have Star Wars

    Many critics believed that the prequels would have stopped Star Wars because of their low quality and poor reception from audiences, but they were wrong. The fanbase, although divided, is very strong, they clamor for new releases, holding hope in the face of past disappointments for good movies. After a Star Wars trilogy is finished, there is often a break between films.  There was a sixteen year gap between episodes VI and I, and a ten year gap between episode III and VII. Episode I made 1.027 billion dollars, and episode VII made 2.066 billion dollars because the fans came out and got excited about Star Wars coming back. When a new trailer comes out, there is a lot of hype because of the passionate fanbase. I still get excited every time a new trailer comes out. We as fans should be optimistic that Star Wars will get better and at the very least Star Wars will continue on for a long time.  

Conclusion

Every fan has some way we would like the series to play out. We all want our version of Star Wars to be the one that comes out in theaters which is not realistic, but that’s ok. The Star Wars fanbase is very passionate and that passion makes us hard to please. Disney is trying to please the fanbase and they are creating exciting Star Wars content coming out soon; such as the mandalorian tv show, and the clone wars tv show reboot. We as fans, should be grateful that Star Wars is still going, and that it’s future is bright.

[sequoiann]

❧ c.sc | photograph

pairing; seventeen s.coups x reader

genre; fluff, soulmate!au, childhood friend!seungcheol, a little angst?

synopsis; soulmate!au in which when you see your soulmate’s picture, the picture will come to live and show what happened while the photograph was being taken, like a video. you have to prove to the pledis staff that you are his soulmate even after identifying him.

word count; 3.75k

To many and most people, a photograph is quite simply a celluloid still that reminds them of the past. They see pictures as conduits to their best memories, the ones that are not fantastic or traumatic enough to leave a permanent mark of their own. Pictures act like a time machine to them, bringing back recollections of whatever that happened during the time when the picture was taken. Those memories that seemed insignificant and thus forgotten until they view the photograph, are the ones that trigger their memories the most and evoke the thoughts and feelings that were existent during the time the picture was taken. Even if a long time has passed, it still makes them smile at the innocence and happiness that could be captured within a single frame. Going through a chronological order of a photo album would also mean rewinding one’s life in an entire go.

There is also a much simpler meaning of photography to some others --- just capturing the moment of one’s smile, fake or not. Just to get a physical and/or digital picture of someone, nothing more. Maybe to show someone else how a stranger looks like, or whatever other on-the-surface reasons there were.

But it was a totally different story when it comes to viewing your soulmate’s picture. As described by others who have found their soulmate’s photograph, the picture of your soulmate would just start moving, playing itself as a video and enacting the incidents that happened while the picture was being taken, whether it was symbolic or not. It is only to your eyes --- no one else’s. Even if the picture was a physical, printed-out photograph, it would still move and portray itself as a video replay, like a supernatural movie.

The entire human population of those who haven’t found their soulmates are divided into two general groups. The first group being people who were extremely focused and are bent on finding their significant other as soon as possible, which meant you’d see them looking through photos after photos, day after day. Some even did it in the middle of class, flipping through physical photographs or scrolling through their phones in a desperate hunt for their partner. You didn’t blame them; no one did --- you all understood their fear of remaining single till death. It was scary to think about. Some teachers decided that enough was enough and entirely banned the use of cellphones during their classes.

The second group was people who didn’t really care. These bunch believed that since soulmates are literally made for each other, they’d be fated and would meet sooner or later in life. “It’s just a matter of time”, they always say. There were also others that belonged to this group who are simply too lazy to even try to look through billions of photos of individual people.

You were the one who was kind of in between the two groups. There were days when you feel extremely motivated to go through as many photos as you could, so much so that you even have thoughts like “hey, I’m definitely gonna find him today”. It never happens, of course, even after your long and hard work. Which leads you to join the second group for a moment, disappointed and giving up hope on the whole soulmate situation. But that feeling fades off after a couple days (or faster if you see someone actually finding their soulmate in the pictures), and you’d go on your search again. Only to be discouraged when you don’t find him again. It was an endless cycle of push-and-pull.

“Good morning!” your mother chirped from the kitchen, and you hummed languidly as you stretched, your arms reaching up to the ceiling. It was a Friday, but your mind and body didn’t seem to process that early in the morning.

“Morning,” you replied, yawning as you took your seat at the dining table. Your mother places a plate of your usual breakfast in front of you --- pancakes, with bacon at the side as a ‘special’ today. You grabbed the bottle of honey sitting at the corner of the table, drizzling its contents over the pancakes.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” your mother asked, sitting in front of you and crossing her arms on the table. You shrugged, poking the pancake with your fork and taking a bite out of it. You couldn’t bother cutting it up.

“Nothing much,” you replied truthfully. “Mira suggested going through photos of K-pop idols. We have looked through all other celebrities just in case, but not them yet.”

Mira was your best friend, whom, like you, hadn’t found her soulmate yet. Your mother seemed to tense up slightly, but you decided that you saw it wrong.

“That’s a good idea. Look at them when you come back home and don’t do it in school, okay? I’ll help you sort them out, and we don’t want you getting into trouble during classes,” your mother joked, making you chuckle.

“Alright.”

You quickly finished up your food and headed to school, Mira picking you up from your place a tad bit earlier than she usually would. You told her what your mother said to you at breakfast, and Mira pulled a face.

“We’ll just go through a couple later,” she persuaded. “Just a few groups.”

You agreed, not really bothering whether you viewed the photographs at home or with Mira. It didn’t make much of a difference to you.

You and Mira ended up just going through about 5 groups or so, those that you guys have heard about like Super Junior, BTS, EXO and so on. All of the members’ pictures stayed still, frozen in the pose they were when the picture was taken. You weren’t disappointed since you hadn’t been expecting much.

When you got home, your mother seemed to internally freak out when you told her that you’ve already viewed the photos of some groups, her originally warm, ‘welcome-home’ smile fading into an uncharacteristic grim line. She quickly got rid of that expression a moment later, a smile returning to her lips, though this time it seemed forced and insincere.

“Go take a shower first, and we’ll go through the other groups you haven’t seen, okay?” she said, ushering you to the toilet.

You smiled, reflecting hers. “Sure.”

You took a quick bath and came out with a towel wrapped around your head and a light pink bathrobe hanging loosely around your body. Your mother was on the couch, a laptop placed on top of her lap, her feet resting on top of the coffee table in front of her. You plopped down beside her and she seemed surprised for a while at your sudden appearance, but she smiled slightly and passed the laptop to you. A lot of tabs were opened, you observed.

“They’re all in alphabetical order,” your mother told you.

You proceeded to go through every group that was on the website, but none of them moved, none of the pictures transitioned themselves into videos. They all stayed as they are, as motionless photographs.

Your eyes were starting to get tired and dry after finishing the groups with letter ‘R’, and you had to blink hard a couple of times to attempt to eliminate the soreness in your eyes.

Just one more alphabet, you thought.

You went on to search for groups starting with the letter ‘S’, and the first three groups that came up were Seventeen, Shinee, and Shinhwa. You were about to click on Seventeen when your mother pushed your hand away, clicking ‘Shinee’ instead. You froze, astonished and unprepared for her sudden action.

“What?” you asked, confused.

Your mother hesitated on how to phrase her words, but in the end, she just said it in the simplest way she could. “Skip Seventeen.”

You furrowed your eyebrows together, frowning. “Why? I thought we were gonna go through every group.”

A nervous chuckle came from your mother. “It doesn’t matter, Y/N, I’m sure he’s not in that group. You don’t have to bother.”

The way that your mother was behaving about the group made you all the more want to check Seventeen out. As far as you know, that group had thirteen members, which is way more than the number of members that an average group had. That increases the chance of your soulmate being in Seventeen, en though the percentage is still low.

“I’ll just take a quick look, Mom,” you said, swiftly clicking on the group’s name which linked to another page.

“I said to skip the group!” she exclaimed, attempting to close the tab. You moved away from her and the page loaded immediately, and you eyed the first photo that came up.You caught a glimpse of the name above the photograph --- “S.Coups”. The picture was a reflection of him in a mirror, actually. His hair was dyed silver and his lips were a tinted vibrant red, his arm resting on the mirror as he leaned towards it. His expression was dark and dreamy. An imperfect, obviously hand-drawn heart was situated at the bottom left of the mirror.

That’s when it happened.

The photograph glitched a little before S.Coups dropped his hand from its original position, an embarrassed smile forming on his lips as he covered his face with his hands, laughing. The angle of the video moved and showed a few more people who were out of the picture frame, giggling and teasingly hitting S.Coups. You made a smart guess that those were the other members.

Then the video stopped, before replaying the same thing again and again.

Your heart was palpitating. You scrolled down a little more and it showed the man’s real name --- Choi Seungcheol.

You instantly turned to your mother accusingly. “Mom!”

She looked away guiltily, not knowing what to say.

“You knew it was him, wasn’t it? Choi Seungcheol. He was our neighbor!” you exclaimed. “Is that why you never let me see our childhood photos?!” You knew something was off. Very off.

“Y/N, I---” your mother started, speechless at your outburst.

Seungcheol was your neighbor when you lived in Gangnam, and he was your best friend. He was a playful kid, snatching ice pops from the other children when he was at the playground, only to get flustered and return it to them when the child bursts out crying. Then he’d get so apologetic that he would offer his own candy to the child. It was funny to think about. You two met under a similar circumstance. The both of you never really bothered about the fact that you were literally living side-by-side, and you, being a girl, couldn’t stop whining and crying and making a big fuss when Seungcheol accidentally pushed you off a swing one day at the playground.

He was just trying to help you go higher, he had said, but you were unsuspecting of the sudden force that suddenly came from behind you and had lost your balance, collapsing off the swing and sustaining a few cuts on your knees. The shock written all over Seungcheol’s face after he realized what he had done was hilarious to think about now, but it wasn’t then.

You became scared and wary of him after that, although your mothers became good friends and your families went over to the other’s house often. Seungcheol constantly apologized to you, and one day bribed for your forgiveness with Reeses. You loved chocolate and peanuts, so you easily gave in. The both of you played together almost every day after that, your moldable, innocent bond effortlessly strengthening.

You two had a 2-year age gap. When he moved, he was 11 and you were 9. It was so sudden then --- you woke up to the sound of the moving truck rumbling outside your house, and when you ran out in a half-daze you saw Seungcheol and his parents entering a dark red car. You started crying more than you did when you fell off the swing after realizing what was happening. You didn’t even get to say goodbye.

“Why?” you asked your mother. You were furious. Your mother obviously knew of Seungcheol’s identity as your soulmate already, but she continued feeding you useless pictures of other men and giving you false hope that one of these pictures would move when you see them. You had been wasting your time.

Your mother swallowed, sighing. She knew she couldn’t hide anymore from you. “I knew he was going to audition and become a trainee under Pledis, Y/N. I didn’t want you to know that he was your soulmate so early. I saw your response when you saw his picture when you were a kid, but you were going to have to suffer when he becomes a celebrity. He would be busy, his fans may be mad at you, we don’t know what would happen.”

You scoffed. “And just because of that you’ve been hiding his photos from me? And giving me other photos? Eleven years, Mom! You’ve been doing this for eleven years!”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just didn’t want you to be hurt. I’ll let you go find him since you know now, okay?”

Even though you didn’t show it, you were grateful for how she was trying to make up for her mistakes. That was the least she could do.

You flew to Seoul the next day, using Google Maps and the help of other people living in Seoul to get to the Pledis office building. Your eyelids felt exceptionally heavy from not getting any sleep at all the previous night, but you were too excited to meet your childhood friend again. And your soulmate. 

However, when you got there, the staff didn’t bother about your presence at all and brushed you off when you told them you were Seungcheol’s soulmate and friend.

“More than 10 fans come in every day to tell us that, kid,” the man said, crossing his arms. “You’re gonna have to try something else.”

You blinked and mentally slapped yourself for not thinking about this situation. Seungcheol was in a well-known celebrity group now, there’s bound to be tons of fans pulling the soulmate card in an attempt to meet their idols.

“But I’m the real soulmate!” you exclaimed, not knowing how else to put it. You pulled out a photo of you and Seungcheol that you had gotten from your mother, shoving it into the staff’s face.

“That’s Seungcheol,” you said, pointing to the male in the photograph before pointing at yourself. “And that’s me.”

The staff obviously recognized toddler Seungcheol, but not so much of toddler you.

“How do I know that’s not some random picture you got off the internet?” the staff murmured. You grumbled.

“Fine, then! Get any photograph of Seungcheol and I’ll tell you what I see. I’ll be able to tell you whatever happened when the picture was taken. Or just tell Seungcheol I’m here. He knows me. I’m Y/N.”

The staff shook his head, getting impatient with your persistence. “We don’t have time for you. Run along now.”

The way that he was talking to you as if you were a child made you all the more pissed.

“What’s going on here?”

You turned to the speaker. It was a pink-haired boy who donned a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. His forehead glistened with sweat and a few hair strands stuck to his skin, and you recognized him as one of the members.

“Nothing, Joshua,” the staff said, waving him off. “Just another one of the fans claiming to be a soulmate.”

Joshua? You thought that was Jeonghan.

Joshua nodded and looked at you with subtle disapproval, seeming to say that you should go on your way before matters got uglier.

He was about to head back upstairs when you called out again. If you couldn’t convince the staff, you could try convincing one of the members.

“Your photoshoot!” you exclaimed. “Your Teen,Age photoshoot!”

Joshua stopped and turned around, and you heaved a soft sigh of relief that he seemed willing to listen.

“What about it?”

“In Seungcheol’s photo,” you started. “The heart. The heart on the mirror. It wasn’t supposed to be there --- Seungkwan drew on it. And Seungcheol was embarrassed after the photo was taken. Some of you playfully hit him, but someone knocked over one of the lighting stands.”

That seemed enough to convince Joshua that you did, indeed, see the happenings of the shoot through Seungcheol’s photographs.

“You should head back up to the practice room, Joshua,” the man said, and when Joshua didn’t immediately do so, the man glared daggers at him. Joshua pressed his lips together, turning around again to make his way back up.

“Send her out nicely, Manager Do,” he said, before disappearing from your sight.

The manager smiled hypocritically, extending a hand towards the door. “Please, Miss Y/N.”

The moment Joshua was out of you and his manager’s line of sight, he sprinted all the way up to the dance studio where the other members were --- more specifically, Seungcheol.

He burst into the room, surprising all the members when he threw the door open.

“What? What? What?’’ Seungkwan blurted, shocked by the loud sound.

“Seungcheol, back door, now. I think your real soulmate is here. She goes by Y/N,” Joshua blabbered quickly.

Seungcheol blinked, his mind not processing Joshua’s words well due to the lack of sleep for the past few days.

“Y/N, Cheol! I think she’s the one you’ve told us about!” Joshua repeated, his words clearer this time.

Seungcheol widened his eyes and snapped out of his trance, immediately bolting out of the room and taking the back door of the building. The staff and managers wouldn’t let him out if he exited by the main entrance, for sure. He went a whole round around the building to get to the front door, and when you weren’t outside, he went down the street a bit more, and he saw you.

You were walking dramatically slowly, hoping that someone would suddenly run up to you and tell you to ‘wait’. You didn’t want to just leave like this, after your efforts to come here and to find him.

“Y/N!”

You barely managed to turn around and look at the person when he came crashing into you with a hug. You froze, awkward.

“Who are…”

You stopped yourself mid-sentence. There was really only one person in this district who would hug you like that.

“C-Cheol?”

Seungcheol chuckled and loosened his arms around you, his hands resting themselves on your upper arm as he looked at you up-down. “You’ve grown up.”

Tears pricked the back of your eyes when you looked at him. You chuckled. “That’s really the first thing you’ve got to say after 11 years?”

Seungcheol laughed.

“Oh right,” he said suddenly, holding onto your wrist. “We shouldn’t stay out here. Let’s go back.”

“They won’t let me in,” you told him, understanding the reason for him not being safe staying outside alone for long without him members or managers. “I came all the way here and even showed them our photo but they still kicked me out.”

Seungcheol smiled bitterly and apologetically. “Sorry, Y/N. I’ll explain when we get back. There’s a back door.”

So the two of you went running back into the company building, quickly going upstairs since Seungcheol told you that the staff rarely goes up to the level where the studios were.

Once you two reached the level, Seungcheol led you down a narrow hallway, and there, you two bumped into Seungkwan.

“You found her!” he gasped loudly, and Seungcheol immediately clasped a hand over Seungkwan’s mouth.

“Seungkwan!” he exclaimed in a hushed whisper. “Are you trying to get us killed!?”

Seungkwan quickly realized his mistake, shutting himself up. He looked over at you and extended a hand.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N! I’m Seungkwan! S.Coups has told us a lot about you,” he said, a lot quieter this time, and you shook his hand, smiling. You weren’t used to Seungcheol being called S.Coups yet, but you had to make do.

“About good things, I hope?” you chuckled. Seungkwan hesitated and you saw Seungcheol’s eyes widening, his lips pressed together as his eyebrows did some sort of dance.

“Yes… Of course…” Seungkwan said, resulting in a defeated sigh from Seungcheol as you smacked him across his arm.

“Ow!” Seungcheol exclaimed, holding onto his arm at the spot where you had hit him. You stuck your tongue out, making him laugh in disbelief at how you still had your childishness in you.

“I take back my words,” he said. “You haven’t grown up.”

You laughed and hit him again.

“We’ll be in studio 2,” Seungcheol told Seungkwan. “Warn us if any of our managers come up.”

Seungkwan nodded and waved goodbye, before Seungcheol led you to a studio nearby. It was just a typical studio with a keyboard and laptop, and other gadgets you didn’t recognize.

Seungcheol suddenly engulfed you in another hug after he closed the door behind him, and you were at a height such that you were barely peeking over his shoulder.

“So, you’re my soulmate, huh?” he muttered, and you nodded, humming.

“Your picture moved. Wanna check with mine?”

“There’s no need to,” he said, planting his chin on the top of your head, sighing. “I missed you so much, Y/N.”

You chuckled. “I missed you too.”

Seungcheol lets go of you suddenly, holding your chin with his thumb and index finger and tilting your face up to look at him. Your heart started beating hard against your chest. You haven’t seen him for so long, and now you were seeing him differently from how you saw him when you were a child.

“Since you’re mine, then I should be allowed to do this,” he said smugly, before pressing his soft lips to yours. You smiled into the kiss; your lips fit together like 2 puzzle pieces. 

This must be the reason why you two matched so well when you were kids. 

[giancarlonicoli]

President Jimmy Carter's Farewell Address

January 14, 1981

Good evening.  In a few days, I will lay down my official responsibilities in this office -- to take up once more the only title in our democracy superior to that of president, the title of citizen.

Of Vice President Mondale, my Cabinet and the hundreds of others who have served with me during the last four years, I wish to say publicly what I have said in private: I thank them for the dedication and competence they have brought to the service of our country.

But I owe my deepest thanks to you, the American people, because you gave me this extraordinary opportunity to serve.  We have faced great challenges together.  We know that future problems will also be difficult, but I am now more convinced than ever that the United States -- better than any other nation -- can meet successfully whatever the future might bring.

These last four years have made me more certain than ever of the inner strength of our country -- the unchanging value of our principles and ideals, the stability of our political system, the ingenuity and the decency of our people.

Tonight I would like first to say a few words about this most special office, the presidency of the United States.

This is at once the most powerful office in the world -- and among the most severely constrained by law and custom.  The president is given a broad responsibility to lead -- but cannot do so without the support and consent of the people, expressed formally through the Congress and informally in many ways through a whole range of public and private institutions.

This is as it should be.  Within our system of government every American has a right and duty to help shape the future course of the United States.

Thoughtful criticism and close scrutiny of all government officials by the press and the public are an important part of our democratic society.  Now as in our past, only the understanding and involvement of the people through full and open debate can help to avoid serious mistakes and assure the continued dignity and safety of the nation.

Today we are asking our political system to do things of which the founding fathers never dreamed.  The government they designed for a few hundred thousand people now serves a nation of almost 230 million people.  Their small coastal republic now spans beyond a continent, and we now have the responsibility to help lead much of the world through difficult times to a secure and prosperous future.

Today, as people have become ever more doubtful of the ability of the government to deal with our problems, we are increasingly drawn to single-issue groups and special interest organizations to ensure that whatever else happens our own personal views and our own private interests are protected.

This is a disturbing factor in American political life.  It tends to distort our purposes because the national interest is not always the sum of all our single or special interests.  We are all Americans together -- and we must not forget that the common good is our common interest and our individual responsibility.

Because of the fragmented pressures of special interests, it's very important that the office of the president be a strong one, and that its constitutional authority be preserved.  The president is the only elected official charged with the primary responsibility of representing all the people.  In the moments of decision, after the different and conflicting views have been aired, it is the president who then must speak to the nation and for the nation.

I understand after four years in office, as few others can, how formidable is the task the president-elect is about to undertake.  To the very limits of conscience and conviction, I pledge to support him in that task.  I wish him success, and Godspeed.

I know from experience that presidents have to face major issues that are controversial, broad in scope, and which do not arouse the natural support of a political majority.

For a few minutes now, I want to lay aside my role as leader of one nation, and speak to you as a fellow citizen of the world about three issues, three difficult issues: The threat of nuclear destruction, our stewardship of the physical resources of our planet, and the pre-eminence of the basic rights of human beings.

It's now been 35 years since the first atomic bomb fell on Hiroshima.  The great majority of the world's people cannot remember a time when the nuclear shadow did not hang over the earth.  Our minds have adjusted to it, as after a time our eyes adjust to the dark.

Yet the risk of a nuclear conflagration has not lessened.  It has not happened yet, thank God, but that can give us little comfort -- for it only has to happen once.

The danger is becoming greater.  As the arsenals of the superpowers grow in size and sophistication and as other governments acquire these weapons, it may only be a matter of time before madness, desperation, greed or miscalculation lets loose this terrible force.

In an all-out nuclear war, more destructive power than in all of World War II would be unleashed every second during the long afternoon it would take for all the missiles and bombs to fall.  A World War II every second -- more people killed in the first few hours than all the wars of history put together.  The survivors, if any, would live in despair amid the poisoned ruins of a civilization that had committed suicide.

National weakness -- real or perceived -- can tempt aggression and thus cause war.  That's why the United States cannot neglect its military strength.  We must and we will remain strong.  But with equal determination, the United States and all countries must find ways to control and reduce the horrifying danger that is posed by the world's enormous stockpiles of nuclear arms.

This has been a concern of every American president since the moment we first saw what these weapons could do.  Our leaders will require our understanding and our support as they grapple with this difficult but crucial challenge.   There is no disagreement on the goals or the basic approach to controlling this enormous destructive force.  The answer lies not just in the attitudes or actions of world leaders, but in the concern and demands of all of us as we continue our struggle to preserve the peace.

Nuclear weapons are an expression of one side of our human character.  But there is another side.  The same rocket technology that delivers nuclear warheads has also taken us peacefully into space.  From that perspective, we see our Earth as it really is -- a small and fragile and beautiful blue globe, the only home we have.  We see no barriers of race or religion or country.   We see the essential unity of our species and our planet; and with faith and common sense, that bright vision will ultimately prevail.

Another major challenge, therefore, is to protect the quality of this world within which we live.  The shadows that fall across the future are cast not only by the kinds of weapons we have built, but by the kind of world we will either nourish or neglect.

There are real and growing dangers to our simple and most precious possessions: the air we breathe; the water we drink; and the land which sustains us. The rapid depletion of irreplaceable minerals, the erosion of topsoil, the destruction of beauty, the blight of pollution, the demands of increasing billions of people, all combine to create problems which are easy to observe and predict but difficult to resolve.  If we do not act, the world of the year 2000 will be much less able to sustain life than it is now.

But there is no reason for despair.  Acknowledging the physical realities of our planet does not mean a dismal future of endless sacrifice.  In fact, acknowledging these realities is the first step in dealing with them.  We can meet the resource problems of the world -- water, food, minerals, farmlands, forests, overpopulation, pollution -- if we tackle them with courage and foresight.

I have just been talking about forces of potential destruction that mankind has developed, and how we might control them.  It is equally important that we remember the beneficial forces that we have evolved over the ages, and how to hold fast to them.

One of those constructive forces is enhancement of individual human freedoms through the strengthening of democracy, and the fight against deprivation, torture, terrorism and the persecution of people throughout the world.  The struggle for human rights overrides all differences of color, nation or language.

Those who hunger for freedom, who thirst for human dignity, and who suffer for the sake of justice -- they are the patriots of this cause.

I believe with all my heart that America must always stand for these basic human rights -- at home and abroad.  That is both our history and our destiny.

America did not invent human rights.  In a very real sense, it is the other way round.  Human rights invented America.

Ours was the first nation in the history of the world to be founded explicitly on such an idea.  Our social and political progress has been based on one fundamental principle -- the value and importance of the individual.  The fundamental force that unites us is not kinship or place of origin or religious preference.  The love of liberty is a common blood that flows in our American veins.

The battle for human rights -- at home and abroad -- is far from over.  We should never be surprised nor discouraged because the impact of our efforts has had, and will always have, varied results.  Rather, we should take pride that the ideals which gave birth to our nation still inspire the hopes of oppressed people around the world.  We have no cause for self-righteousness or complacency.  But we have every reason to persevere, both within our own country and beyond our borders.

If  we are to serve as a beacon for human rights, we must continue to perfect here at home the rights and values which we espouse around the world: A decent education for our children, adequate medical care for all Americans, an end to discrimination against minorities and women, a job for all those able to work, and freedom from injustice and religious intolerance.

We live in a time of transition, an uneasy era which is likely to endure for the rest of this century.  It will be a period of tensions both within nations and between nations -- of competition for scarce resources, of social political and economic stresses and strains.  During this period we may be tempted to abandon some of the time-honored principles and commitments which have been proven during the difficult times of past generations.

We must never yield to this temptation.  Our American values are not luxuries but necessities -- not the salt in our bread but the bread itself.  Our common vision of a free and just society is our greatest source of cohesion at home and strength abroad -- greater even than the bounty of our material blessings.

Remember these words:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that   all men are created equal; that they are endowed     by their creator with certain inalienable rights;   that among these are life liberty and the pursuit     of happiness."

This vision still grips the imagination of the world.  But we know that democracy is always an unfinished creation.  Each generation must renew its foundations.  Each generation must rediscover the meaning of this hallowed vision in the light of its own modern challenges.  For this generation, ours, life is nuclear survival; liberty is human rights; the pursuit of happiness is a planet whose resources are devoted to the physical and spiritual nourishment of its inhabitants.

During the next few days I will work hard to make sure that the transition from myself to the next president is a good one so that the American people are served well.  And I will continue as I have the last 14 months to work hard and to pray for the lives and the well-being of the American hostages held in Iran.  I can't predict yet what will happen, but I hope you will join me in my constant prayer for their freedom.

As I return home to the South where I was born and raised, I am looking forward to the opportunity to reflect and further to assess -- I hope with accuracy -- the circumstances of our times.  I intend to give our new president my support, and I intend to work as a citizen, as I have worked in this office as president, for the values this nation was founded to secure.

Again, from the bottom of my heart, I want to express to you the gratitude I feel.

Thank you, fellow citizens, and farewell.

[khalilhumam]

In the heat of political crisis, Belarus launches first nuclear power plant

New Post has been published on http://khalilhumam.com/in-the-heat-of-political-crisis-belarus-launches-first-nuclear-power-plant/

In the heat of political crisis, Belarus launches first nuclear power plant

Ecologists do not share the government's optimism about Astravets

Astravets nuclear power plant, Belarus, 2020. Photo (c): Hanna Valynets, used with permission.

Since August, Belarus has been rocked by mass protests and strikes. The authorities try not to pay attention, for they are preoccupied with a no less historic development — the construction of a new nuclear power plant. That is controversial in a country which suffered greatly from the 1986 Chernobyl catastrophe in neighbouring Ukraine. Concern at the state of democracy dominates Belarusian public life, but alongside it another urgent conversation continues — about the country’s past experience with nuclear power, and whether it needs a post-nuclear future. All eyes are on Astravets, a small town located near the Belarusian border with Lithuania. In recent years the town’s population has grown significantly: workers are badly needed, and new multi-storey apartments have shot up to house them. The reason for these rapid changes is that Belarus’ first nuclear power plant is located outside the town. Its construction is now coming to an end and it is nearly ready to be started up. As engineers often explain, it takes more than pressing one button to launch a nuclear reactor. That start-up will take place in several phases. The fuel has already been loaded; the plant is expected to generate its first electricity on November 7. This is a national holiday in Belarus, as it is the anniversary of the October Revolution — the revolution from which the Soviet Union was born. “I invite everybody. I think that on November 7, a significant day for us, we will be able to visit and say that we have received the first electricity from our own nuclear power plant”, exclaimed Belarus’ longtime ruler Alyaksandr Lukashenka at a meeting with officials on September 16. The first of the two reactors is expected to operate at full capacity by the first quarter of 2021. The second reactor will be launched in 2022.

Haunting memories

But not all Belarusians are so jubilant. They remember the explosion in 1986, which released large amounts of radiation into the atmosphere. Belarus suffered more than anywhere else in the Soviet Union; a third of all the radioactive caesium-137 ended up in Belarusian territory. The authorities in Minsk have tried to assuage fears of a second Chernobyl, declaring that the likelihood of accidents is minimal, and that the Astravets nuclear power plant is a safe and profitable project. “We are the Chernobyl republic, we have experienced a lot and we know the consequences ourselves. Some US$19 billion has been spent on rehabilitating contaminated areas alone. Therefore, safety measures during the construction of the [Astravets] power station were like something out of wartime”, said Lukashenka in August, just before the presidential elections. In the public discussion about nuclear energy, comparisons between Chernobyl and Astravets are not so uncommon. These parallels are drawn by everybody, including journalists, politicians, ordinary citizens, and surviving liquidators from the Chernobyl catastrophe. They all deeply regret what occurred in 1986, but their opinions on 2020 strongly differ. Some strongly support the new nuclear power plant and hope for an increased standard of living, while others fear another accident. Belarusian state media and officials do not shirk from mentioning Chernobyl, either. “The memory of the events at Chernobyl is now being instrumentalised and used to legitimise the new nuclear power plant. On the 30th anniversary of the accident, a documentary film was broadcast which began with footage of the 1986 accident and ended with a hint that this time, everything would be alright,” writes Alexey Bratochkin, head of public history projects at the European College of Liberal Arts in the Belarusian capital of Minsk. Once the nuclear power plant is fully operational, explained the authorities in the early stages of construction, electricity prices will fall. In 2014, the Ministry of Energy promised that electricity “will become cheaper for the consumer” by 20-30 percent. But some Belarusians seem to be sceptical about promises of cheap energy. They also doubt that the power plant will open at all, given that its launch has already been postponed at least four times. All these views can be seen in local community groups on social media: “I work on the construction site of the nuclear power plant, and [acquaintances] sometimes ask me when it will be launched. I think [the plant’s management] don’t even know themselves, they say within two to three years at a minimum”, says Alyaksandr, who was born and grew up in Astravets, in a Telegram chat with GlobalVoices. Does Alyaksandr expect a drop in electricity prices? He might be right to, given that electric vehicles are already under development and power engineers are modernising heating networks in newly-constructed residential buildings to be more energy efficient. “Logically that should be the case. But in Volgodonsk [a city in Russia] there’s also a nuclear power plant. There are more than two reactors, but after the plant was constructed energy actually became more expensive”, remarks Alyaksandr. He may be right, according to the results of a study conducted by the Belarusian NGO EcoDom this summer. The authors concluded that the electricity prices for Belarusian consumers will almost double in price. “The prime cost of electricity in the network as a whole will not decrease, but will increase from four cents to [US$]7.26; that is, 1.8 times”, concluded EcoHome.

A geopolitical gambit

There have also been geopolitical promises. Namely, that Belarus would lessen its energy dependence on natural gas supplies from Russia. Nuclear power is “part of our independence”, and its greater use would ensure “sovereignty and independence”, promised Lukashenka in September. Indeed, shortly before the decision to construct Astravets was taken in 2007, Russia accounted for some 85 percent of all Belarus’ energy imports. Much of this is natural gas, from which Belarus generates 93 percent of its electricity. In their quest to reduce their country’s energy dependence on Russia, the Belarusian authorities turned to an old partner — Russia. Moscow was happy to oblige, offering a loan of up to $10 billion for the new power plant. This loan must be repaid over a 15 year period, starting from 2023. Thus the Belarusian leadership tied itself to a massive financial obligation to the same country from which it wanted to reduce dependence. “The political meaning of the construction and launch of the nuclear power plant was associated with the goal of ensuring energy security for Belarus. It probably isn’t the best idea. The nuclear power plant is an ongoing economic and political miscalculation”, says Andrey Yegorov, a political scientist and analyst at the Centre for European Transformation and member of the board of the Green Network, a partnership of environmental organisations. In an interview with GlobalVoices, Yegorov emphasised that now Belarus will not only pay loans to Russia, it will still need to buy Russian energy resources. Only now it will import nuclear fuel.

READ MORE: What is Russia's endgame in Belarus?

Astravets could certainly cover much of Belarus’ domestic energy needs — in fact, according to the Ministry of Energy, the plant is likely to generate a surplus. All that excess energy must go somewhere, but where? Russia is well supplied by its own nuclear power plants. Belarus’ other neighbours do not intend to buy energy from Astravets, which they consider unsafe. Lithuania is a particularly fierce opponent both of the construction of the power plant and purchasing energy it will generate. After all, Astravets lies just 20 kilometres from its border. Vilnius has even passed a law on boycotting electricity from the new power plant. On October 26, Litgrid, operator of Lithuania’s national electricity grid, announced how it would react to the first receipt of electricity from Belarus, which is expected between November 1-10. “We will immediately set the capacity to zero megawatts for all commercial electricity flows from Belarus”, said Litgrid’s interim head Vidmantas Grušas in a press release. This statement is the consequence of Lithuania’s long-standing position. It was summed up by President Ginatas Nausėda on October 21. “The Belarusian nuclear power plant poses a threat to the safety of EU citizens. Therefore it is necessary to put a stop to the irresponsible launch of this nuclear power plant”, said Nausėda. Estonia, Latvia, and Poland have all announced their refusal to purchase energy from Astravets, partly out of solidarity with Lithuania’s position. Ukraine has also declined, stating that it has its own energy surplus. At a meeting of the Council of Europe in October, European leaders stressed that the degree of compliance with and implementation of safety requirements and tests at the Astravets nuclear power plant would affect relations between the EU and Belarus.

The ecologists’ revolt

In September, the Belarusian Green Party and several ecological organisations released a declaration against the nuclear power plant at Astravets. As they saw it, its launch was even more dangerous in the context of a political crisis. “Let’s start with the fact that the internal troops and security forces, which could be involved in mitigating the consequences of any crisis, are now busy with something else entirely — clashing with protesters”, write the ecologists. Indeed, police detain an average of 500-700 people every weekend during protests. And protests don’t just take place on weekends. Judging by the estimates of the Belarusian human rights centre Viasna, more than 16,000 people have been detained since August 9. As of early October, human rights defenders had recorded over 2,000 complaints of torture and violence during detention, according to the International Committee on the Investigation of Torture. Meanwhile, layoffs and strikes are also taking place. For example, on October 26 some factory workers, including those at chemical plants, did not turn up at work. On the same day, Alyaksandr Lukashenka’s Telegram channel noted that “the president, like all right-minded Belarusians, is at work today”.

READ MORE: Belarusian labour activists pressured as political crisis drags on

Yegorov, the political scientist, notes that in the current situation, being right-minded means sensibly assessing the risks: “A nuclear power plant can be highly dangerous and is very risky to operate. Putting one into operation amid unprecedented epidemiological, political and economic crises is risky”, he says. It must be added that at the time of writing, the COVID-19 infection rate in Belarus has peaked. It now stands where it did in May, during the first wave of the pandemic. “First and foremost, the danger posed by the nuclear power plant is not connected with the political system nor the epidemiological situation”, remarks Andrey Ozharovsky, an active participant of the Belarusian anti-nuclear movement. Ozharovsky believes that nuclear power is dangerous in any situation; Chernobyl exploded under socialism and Fukushima under capitalism. Nevertheless, the danger may increase if the launch itself becomes a political event: “Belarus’ atomic project has been a political one from the outset, as Lukashenka has said many times. If it is in his personal interests to rush its start-up, then in accordance with old Soviet traditions, the facility may be commissioned with imperfections. When it comes to a nuclear power plant, that dramatically increases the likelihood of severe accidents”, warns Ozharovsky. The long term future of the facility at Astravets also poses a key problem: the power plant will function for 60 years, but radioactive waste remains dangerous for several thousand. However, political realities can be far more fleeting. “If the ruling powers in Belarus change, the question will arise as to whether Belarus needs this nuclear power plant. Let me remind you that countries such as Germany have rejected nuclear energy. France has made it a political goal to reduce its independence on nuclear energy from 70 to 50 percent”, Ozharovsky explains.

Waiting for the green revolution

In the short term, ecologists see Astravets as a setback for Belarusian renewable energy. According to a 2018 study by EcoHome and the Institute for Technical Thermodynamics of the German Aerospace Centre, Belarus could close its nuclear power plant by 2040 and fully transition to renewable energy by 2050. Pavel Gorbunov, an energy researcher with EcoHome, calls the Astravets nuclear power plant an unprofitable project. He is convinced that it would be cheaper not to launch the plant, recognising the investment as a loss maker and starting to pay back the loan which Belarus took out for its construction. “In the medium and the long term, the Astravets nuclear power plant will compete with prices for electricity from renewable sources”, said Gorbunov in an interview. This is because Belarus is currently developing renewable energy alongside its nuclear sector. However, the launch of the new power plant and the surplus of electricity which it will produce are expected to reduce investor interest in developing industrial-scale renewable energy. This is the belief of Vladimir Nistyuk, the executive director of Belarus’ Renewable Energy Association, which includes about 40 organisations. The launch also threatens to reduce the opportunities for producers of energy from renewable sources to sell their electricity back to the national grid. It will also impact the “elimination of increasing coefficients”, which allowed them to do so at a more favourable price. At the same time, the expert notes that there remains a public interest in energy sources which allow ordinary people and companies alike to generate their own electricity. Biogas is being actively developed, he adds. “In general, even if the development of renewable [energy] sources slows down, it will not be for long. As Karl Marx said, one cannot live in society and be free from it”, Nistyuk told GlobalVoices. “There’s no getting away from that, because we live in a civilised world which has long since started to appreciate the benefits of renewable energy and its prospects. We are optimists”. This article is made possible through a partnership with Transitions, a Prague-based publishing and media training organisation

Find out more about the turmoil in Belarus here

Written by Hanna Valynec

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Can Reiki Cure Heart Attack All Time Best Useful Ideas

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Reiki Therapy Treatment

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