#i have exchanged like. 4 sentences total with them. i should not be this way /silly

[zmbienoir]

i never get jealous ever nope not me ^_^ (about to gut someone)

[withacapitalp]

How to Rehabilitate a Jock Pt 4

Okay first of all Here's the aok3 link for anyone who missed it!

Secondly I'm going to let you all know that unfortunately I'm not going to be taking any more tags on this. I've crossed 200 and I am so so grateful for you all, but it's going to be impossible to keep up with them. If you want to stay updated, subscribe on ao3, follow me here, or check the tag 'Steve Joins Hellfire AU' I think I'm the only one using it? If I missed taking you off, I'm so sorry just let me know again it's been totally crazy wrangling this list!

Part 1 here Part 3 here Part 5

Rest of fic and tags under read more!

When the rest finally got used to Steve watching them from over Eddie’s shoulder, the meeting was fairly uneventful. Steve would occasionally interject with a hesitant question, and Eddie would pause every so often to explain something when he noticed confusion on the other boy’s face, but overall it was almost like he wasn’t even there. 

Well, almost like he wasn’t even there for everyone else. 

For Eddie, it was two and a half hours of pure torture. 

Steve had started off a polite distance away from Eddie, clearly only observing. But, as the game progressed, their chairs inched closer and closer together until Eddie’s arm was pressed up against Steve’s, and their heads were knocking together as they pushed in close. 

All of their words were hushed and soft, gentle in a way that no one else would have expected from Steve Harrington. But the quiet snickers Steve let slip whenever Eddie did something particularly dastardly made every thought race out of his head. 

“There’s a lurking sense of impending doom as your party approaches the fiery gate. You each feel a foreboding chill race up your spines when you hear a monstrous roar echoing in the distance. Gather your party, and decide as one what you will do at this point,” Eddie growled out, watching with glee as the rest of them raced to the other side of the room and huddled together to exchange tense whispers.

As the rest of the club continued to strategize, Eddie sat back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head and letting loose a long indulgent sigh. 

Sure, he wasn’t the smartest person in the room, or the best athlete, but Eddie was good at this. He was good at this the same way he was good with a guitar, or with his hands stuck deep in the engine of a car. There was a thrilling sort of joy in doing something that he knew he excelled at, knowing he wasn’t going to fail, or not measure up, and that feeling was enough to give him the courage to turn to the boy next to him. 

“You likin’ it so far?” Eddie asked Steve, thoroughly enjoying the immediate eager nod that came before he even finished his question. 

“It’s really cool actually! I wasn’t expecting to have this much fun,” Steve said sitting cross legged in his chair and holding onto his ankles. 

It should have felt like backhanded compliments. Steve’s words should have offended him. If anyone else had said it, if any other jock had said it, then Eddie would be up in arms, defensive and bitter. 

But it was Steve, and Eddie was kind of already a goner for his big brown eyes and goofy sweet smile. All he heard was ‘cool’ and ‘fun’ and his brain put two and two together to create embarrassed happiness that flooded his every vein. 

Eddie pulled a lock of his hair over his face to hide the stupid grin that was on his face, chewing on the ring on his middle finger as he tried to pretend he wasn’t ridiculously pleased that Steve was having a good time. 

“Well, just wait till they get past this gate. If they get past this gate,” Eddie amended after a brief pause, busying himself with fixing his papers and pretending to be busy, “I have some pretty crazy things planned,”

“I’m sure you do,” 

The sentence was barely a murmur, four mumbled words that came on a puff of hot air that tickled the back of Eddie’s ear. A warm heavy presence settled itself right behind Eddie as Steve leaned up to read over his shoulder. Now it was Eddie’s turn to feel something racing down his spine, but it definitely wasn’t foreboding. 

Damn. 

Eddie’s face flushed deep red, and he pulled away, standing up and pretending to cough as he tried and failed to pull himself together. 

“Are you sure you’re alright? That’s the fifth time you’ve had to cough,” Steve pointed out from behind him. Eddie tossed a thumbs up haphazardly, cursing himself. 

Eddie had been forced to pretend to cough multiple times, just to turn away to try and hide the blush on his cheeks as Steve said or did something that made his entire body turn to jelly. The rest of the club hadn’t been fooled a bit, but Steve had started getting concerned after the second fake out. 

“Eddie’s just fine,” Janet said with a smirk, popping her head out of the huddle just to be an ass. 

Eddie continued to fake cough, sticking up his middle finger at her from where he was sure Steve wouldn’t see. He loved his friends, but honestly? Fuck his friends. 

“Maybe your throat is dry,” Steve offered, standing up and walking over to his backpack and starting to root around in it, “You have been doing a lot of talking,” 

“Yeah, talking is the issue here,” Rocky snarked as the rest of the group came back to the table, each of them wearing shit eating grins that made Eddie know he was in for the teasing of a lifetime the next time they were alone. 

“Well, regardless of why, you need to hydrate,” Steve replied, walking back over and holding out a water bottle to Eddie. 

The entire group instantly began to smother down their laughter. Even Gareth, who had stayed mad the entire fucking time, was hiding a smile behind his hand. Eddie screwed up his face into a completely unamused pout.

“Did I uh- did I miss something?” Steve asked, a sad puppy dog look of bewilderment on his features, sending Eddie's heart into overdrive.  He began to pull his hand back, but Eddie quickly intervened. 

“Thank you Steve,” Eddie emphasized, snatching the water bottle and taking a greedy sip. Water dribbled out of his mouth and down his throat, staining his shirt, “At least someone is worried about my precious, precious, voice,”

“You’re the lead of a metal band, Ed,” Jeff pointed out with a roll of his eyes, “Excuse us for not being too worried about what a few hours of DMing might do to that, oh so precious voice,”

Everyone else chuckled at this, even Steve. Eddie was caught between being annoyed at being teased, and elated at the prospect of the rest of the group starting to accept his ‘pet jock’. He waited until they were quiet before sitting back down, placing the bottle next to his papers and spreading his thighs wide. He placed both palms on his knees, leaning down and giving all of them a corrupted sneer.

“Have you decided what you want to do, travelers?” He asked, getting back into character. 

“We decided…that it’s almost 5:00, so we should pack it up,” Frank said with an exaggerated long pause, the rest exchanging slightly tired nods. Eddie straightened up, dropping the act.

“Seriously?” Eddie said, not exactly whining, but definitely disappointed. This was always what happened. If Eddie had his way, they would go until the sun rose for the next day, but the rest could only handle a few hours of this after eight hours of school. 

He was going to continue, try and talk them into at least another half hour, but before he could, Steve spoke up.

“Um, I actually have to go too,” He admitted, glancing at his watch and giving Eddie a conciliatory shrug. 

“Meeting up with your basketball buddies?” Gareth asked, still acting like a venomous snake. 

“No, we…we don’t really talk anymore,” Steve said, the long pause betraying the long story that hid behind his words, “I’m driving my kids home from AV club,” 

“That’s a point in his favor,” Rocky pointed out, the rest of Hellfire immediately turning on him with fierce glares. 

“Rocky,” Eddie snapped, unable to help himself. Steve gave him another confused glance, and Eddie waved it off, silently giving the rest a look. The group began to pack up in earnest, filling up the room with chatter and drowning out the potential pitfall that their youngest member had almost landed them in.

“Have the kids been waiting for you this whole time?” Eddie asked, slightly desperate to change the subject before Steve could speak any of the questions that were clearly starting to form. 

“Nah, they would be climbing the walls by now,” Steve said, shaking his head and fondly smiling to himself, “They’re not exactly the most patient group of people.”

“Our next meeting will be next Wednesday,” Eddie called out over the din. Frank saluted him as he walked out, Janet trailing close to him and disappearing next. 

“What’d you think, Steve?” Kaiden asked. 

“You guys argue a lot less than my kids do. They’re always fighting with Mike- oh uh the dungeon master?” Steve offered, apparently dropping the concern he had. 

The last sentence was phrased more like a question than a statement, so Eddie nodded along, continuing to put away his binders with care, making sure none of the group could sneak a peek at what was to come the next time they met. 

“If we argued with Eddie, he would only kill us faster,” Jeff said with a chuckle. 

“You’ll see when you’re on this side of the table,” Kaiden added, shouldering his backpack, “Maybe next week?” 

Steve opened his mouth to reply, but Gareth beat him to it. 

“We haven’t finished the campaign,” He stated bluntly, refusing to look any of them in the eye as he roughly tugged on the zipper of his bag, “We can’t just stop in the middle because a- because someone new decided to show up.”

The brightness on Steve’s features dimmed a little, and his smile went from natural to forced. Eddie bit his tongue to keep the immediate scathing remark at bay, working his jaw back and forth and letting his fingers drum along the table. 

As much as he wanted to jump to Steve’s aid (and remind Gareth exactly who was running this club) Eddie knew that it would be better in the long run to let Steve establish himself in the group and fight his own battles. If Eddie let himself get too defensive, then suspicions would start to rise, and the rest would only ever see Steve as ‘Eddie’s’ and not ‘theirs’. 

Still, it hurt to watch his best friend- a boy he had only ever known to be generous and kind- completely reject Steve on the principle of who he thought he was. 

Gareth was supposed to be better than that. They all were. 

“Welllllll, I guess I’ll have plenty of time to come up with a cool character then,” Steve said with a shrug. His nonchalant tone wasn’t exactly faked, but there was a tension in his shoulders that seemed painful. Eddie jerked his head towards the door, and the remaining members left as a group before anything else could go wrong. It was just him and Steve now. 

“Not too bad for your first time,” Eddie said with a soft grin, doing his best to smooth over the discomfort that had popped up in the last thirty seconds. 

“I’m not sure they were happy to have me there,” Steve shot back. Eddie was honestly kind of impressed with the bluntness of that, the way Steve didn’t seem afraid at all to confront the way they had all treated him. 

“They’ll warm up, I promise,” Eddie replied, trying to sound reassuring as they exited the room and started walking down the hall. 

The look Steve shot him from the side told Eddie everything he needed to know about how much he believed that promise. Eddie sighed loudly, wracking his brain for anything he could say that might help with this. 

“A cool character huh? Maybe your kids can help you with that,” He offered. Steve did smile at this, dipping his head low and trying to hide the dopey grin that was overtaking his face. 

“No way,” Steve said, his eyes quickly flitting to Eddie’s face before turning away, “If they found out I was playing DnD without them? I’d never hear the end of it.”

“So we’re your dirty little secret?” Eddie teased just as they reached the exit. Steve stopped, letting his hand sit on the handle. Eddie looked up at him curiously, only to find Steve was looking at him with complete and utter seriousness. 

“No,” Steve whispered, clearly contemplating his next words, “Not a secret. Just something that’s only mine,” 

Eddie didn’t know if it was the intensity of Steve’s gaze, or the mystery of the words that made him pause, but he hesitated. Something about it all just felt…significant. He needed to say the right thing here. 

Or, at least try to say the right thing. 

“Well, let’s keep it just yours for a while then. Sound good, sweetheart?” 

That was the wrong thing. It had started as the right thing, but that was without a doubt the wrong fucking thing. Eddie with his stupid big fat mouth and idiotic crush. Steve was definitely not coming back. Hell, he might never talk to Eddie ever again. 

A soft chuckle dragged him slowly out of his misery. He looked up, watching as Steve leaned his head back, a gleeful look of joy brightening up even the darkest parts of Eddie’s mind. 

“Sounds perfect,” Steve replied, still smiling. He ducked his head down, and Eddie entertained the wild notion that he might’ve even been blushing for two seconds, before banishing that thought from his mind. He had already played the odds enough today, he didn’t need to risk any more. 

“I could walk you over to the Middle School if you wanted, my liege?” Eddie said, instantly cringing at how overeager that question made him sound. 

“I think I can take care of myself, oh wise dungeon master,” Steve smirked, pushing the door open. 

A sharp blast of the cold November air smacked them both in the face, and Eddie scanned the empty lot. His own van was parked in one corner, and Steve’s beemer was in the other. 

And, standing around said Beemer, was a group of tiny humans. 

“Apparently, going to the middle school isn’t even necessary,” Steve sighed, shaking his head. 

“Steve!” One of the kids shouted, sliding off the hood of the car when he spotted the teen heading towards them. As soon as the boy said his name, the entire horde was scampering over, all of them talking at the same time. 

Steve had told him that he babysat. He had said it multiple times, in fact. 

But Steve saying it, and Eddie seeing five middle schoolers all clamoring for Steve’s attention were two very different things. They were pulling on his hands, tapping on his arms, and the one girl even jumped right on his back without warning. Steve caught her easily, but shot a dirty look at her from the side. 

“Where have you been?!” She shouted above the rest. 

Steve opened his mouth, but the other kids beat him to it. 

“We’ve been out here for ten minutes! Ten! Minutes!” One of the boys added. He was a sweet looking kid, tons of curly hair hidden under a big cap, but he had his hands on his hips and was shaking his head with a disappointed little tut

“Wow, ten whole minutes, Henderson. How did you guys ever survive?” Steve asked, sarcasm flooding every word. He adjusted his grip on the little red haired one and turned to Eddie to roll his eyes.

Eddie couldn’t even make a joke or say anything back, he was too shocked by the reality of Babysitter Steve Harrington. 

“You weren’t answering your walkie,” Another snapped. He was the only one that looked genuinely angry, giving Steve a withering glare, “It’s a Party Rule,” 

“It’s in my bag, Mike,” Steve explained, exasperated, “I was busy. Max, get down, you’re strangling me. Oh, and Lucas, how was your algebra test?” 

The first kid to have spoken up, ‘Lucas’ apparently, began to chat with him, the rest of he boys jumping in and interrupting in normal middle schooler fashion. ‘Max’ did as she was bid while Steve checked in with the rest. She hopped down, looking around bored for a minute before her eyes finally landed on Eddie, who had walked over silently, his hands deep in his pockets.

“Who’s this guy?” 

Eddie opened his mouth to say the words ‘dungeon master’, but he remembered just before he started to speak. 

He was ‘something that was only Steve’s’. Steve didn’t want to share him just yet, and the rush of pleasure that came from that wasn’t worth the glee that would come from watching Steve have to explain that he was playing Dungeons and Dragons without them. 

Eddie slowly shut his mouth and gave Steve a wink above the kids, letting him do the explaining. 

“Just a friend,” 

It wasn’t much of an explanation, but Steve wasn’t done. 

“C’mon, we can get McDonalds on the way home,” Steve added, offering the perfect distraction. 

Instantly chaos reigned again. They all began to shout their orders, running towards the car and yelling at Steve to hurry up. 

“Could we maybe get some for El?” One of the kids asked, walking much slower than the rest. Eddie wasn’t sure who ‘El’ was, but he did recognize this boy. He was pretty sure everyone in Hawkins knew who Will Byers was.

“Good idea,” Steve agreed, ruffling Will’s hair and pulling the kid in as he began to walk away. He turned back for a second and caught Eddie’s eye, giving him a tiny secretive little smile. 

“See you later, Alligator?”

“I guess this is where we part ways,”

“I guess…”

“See you later, Alligator?”

The memory hit Eddie like a truck, nearly bowling him over with its force. Steve was still standing there, still waiting for the answer he was sure was coming. This was where Eddie was supposed to pretend. He was supposed to just say ‘In a while, Crocodile,” walk away, and go home, pretending like those words didn’t matter. 

But he couldn’t. He just…couldn’t. 

Eddie lifted his hand and waved, turning around and walking to his van before he could see how Steve reacted. 

Tag List: @paopaupaus @zerokrox-blog @surferboyzaza @whatever-is-a-good-name @minjintea @addelyin @5ammi90 @hagbaby420 @shinekocreator @bornonthesavage @starxlark @electrick-marionnett @resident-gay-bitch @ash-a-confused-enby @classicdinosaurdeathpose @valon-whomsttf @rotten-lil-goblin @thereindeerlady @love-ya-kash @kerlypride @sparkle-fiend @thefreakandthehair @flowercrowngods @milf-harrington @sadcanadianwinter @gothbat99 @hotcocoaharrington @henderdads @lightwoodbanethings @colorful565 @h0n3y-dw @craterbbox @sourw0lfs @lesliiieeeee @bidisastersworld @tinynebula @ravnlinn @bonescaro @mexmatch @cottagecoredreams @joruni @hellykelly @maegan1116 @farewell-wanderlvst @desertfern @due-to-the-fact-that-im-a-slut @anythingforourmoonyedits @eerielake @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @sidekick-hero

[sahrii]

impossible; tetsuro kuroo 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

episode 2 ! fault lines

prev < mast > next

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ a/n hehe second chap! againnn bare w me my first time doing this fr n i tried to like make kuroo mean without making him ooc which i probably failed but its okay ig (it’s not) hope u guys enjoy!!!

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ warnings mentions of inferiority complex, ooc kuroo :( AND MEAN kuroo :( idk what else hopefully nothing else

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ taglist open (ask to join through dm or ask box!!)

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ requests open

The classroom was quiet. Quiet aside from the sound of her ballpoint pen rolling out some pitch black ink on the paper of her notebook, and the tranquil hum of the chilly breeze, tiptoeing from the slightly opened window and tickling her senses.

She was focused–too focused to notice that three out of the four people whom she invited were running behind the meeting time as the other person, Akaashi, was waiting for her to notice his presence.

“you seem like you’re about to find out what the root of negative one is,” spoke up akaashi, approaching the desk she was sat on. his voice startled her, causing her to jump a little and drop her pen. “jesus christ you scared me” she put a hand on her chest as she let out a sigh of relief. “and it’s impossible to find the root of negative one” she added, mocking his earlier sentence. “I know,” he replied with a chuckle, leaning down to pick her pen and setting it on the table. “when did you get here? And where is ko?” she asked, referring to bokuto who always accompanied akaashi, as if the both of them were twins conjoined by the hip. “actually, we’ve both been here since 2 because we joined nekoma for a bit of practice. I left a bit earlier to grab some snacks and reminded them that we’re supposed to meet at 4 but I think they’re too caught up in practice so im not sure when—” he said, setting a bag of snacks on the desk as per bokuto’s request from yesterday. and as if he’s onto some sort of sorcery, their three figures walked into the classroom. “Hey y/n! it’s been ages since—” bokuto began, approaching her for a hug. “absolutely not, your sweaty figure will not be touching me!” she cut him off, pushing her chair back a bit. “you’re so mean to me,” “you’re late you deserve it—and speaking of late, care to explain why the three of you are late?” she narrowed her eyes at the three of them, well, avoiding eye contact with kuroo for already established reasons.

Ironically enough, kuroo was the one to open his mouth.

“oops—so sorry. We totally weren’t practicing for the volleyball event your majesty is planning” he retorted with crossed arms in front of his toned chest, causing kenma to audibly sigh as this was a sign for the beginning of a long argument.

His figure leaned casually against the desk, just close enough to be infuriating. And though she despised him with every ounce of her being, she couldn’t deny—much to her own dismay—that there was something irritatingly magnetic about the way he carried himself.

Before she could open her mouth to respond, kenma beat her to it.

 “are we gonna get this over and done with before chairs end up being thrown across the room or is that gonna be hard?” he asked, pulling out a random chair and sitting on it. “you should ask—”

“I think the question is posed to you, because as far as I remember, the one who threw the chair was—” “can you not”

And just like that, the bickering spiraled into a heated back-and-forth. Kuroo’s smug grin only fueled her irritation as their words collided, the volume in the room slowly rising. 

Meanwhile, Kenma and Akaashi exchanged a long, knowing look—equal parts exhausted and unimpressed.

“Enough,” Bokuto finally interrupted, his voice cutting through the tension like a sharp whistle.

“I really want this meeting to finish without losing anyone’s life and before the Yakiniku restaurant down the street closes,” he added, causing everyone to deadpan. “you really do have a big back, ko” she jokingly stated as she placed her notebook in front of everyone, wanting to start the meeting. “Y/N!”

──────────────────────

“okay before we move on to distributing the roles, is everyone happy with the tasks we’ve come up with?” she asked, her eyes making contact with everyone. kenma and kaashi were discussing something about the food stalls, kuroo had a smug smirk on his face and bokuto was sat , practically hugging the back of his chair as his chin rested on it. “you mean the tasks you came up with,” spoke up kuroo, that smug smirk only getting bigger. “thanks for establishing this groundbreaking, flabbergasting news, Kuroo. Have you got anything in mind or do you just like commenting for the sake of annoying me?” she mocked, sarcasm dripping from her words. “I actually do, but it’s not my problem that I can’t even speak about what I have in mind because your inferiority complex comes out every fucking time I speak to you” smirked kuroo, oblivious to how those words slapped her in the face. and suddenly, the room fell silent. No more murmurs were heard, only the sound of her heart palpitating like a maniac inside her chest could be heard in her ears. the pen she was previously holding felt too heavy now, the classroom’s floor looked like it was ready to swallow her alive, and for reasons she cannot comprehend, a fuzzy ball appeared in hear throat that she struggled to push down, but eventually did. “excuse me? What—what inferiority complex are you talking about, have you—” and before she could even complete her sentence, he cut her off. she hated how he knew her—knew how to get on her nerves every single time. “no—don’t even begin. Have you seen yourself, trying so hard to not fall below anyone, to be better than everyone in every way possible as if you’re compensating for whatever the hell you’re insecure about. Stop bossing people around, ask for opinions, y/n. the world does not revolve around, or else I’m scared that you’ll end up alone on your death bed,” he breathed, he breathed words that were similar to needles, puncturing holes inside of her heart. He was so oblivious—so oblivious to how right he was, to her, he hit everything right on the spot; yet so oblivious to how he just hurt her.

Because despite all these years of rivalry, no word from his infuriatingly sharp tongue had ever truly struck her—until this very moment. For the first time, his words cut deeper than she thought possible, leaving her feeling exposed, as though the walls around her were closing in, trapping her in a relentless cycle of suffocating doubt and raw vulnerability.

“Is that what you think of me?” Her voice wavered, startlingly soft and brittle, like glass on the verge of shattering. “That I’m a petty, stuck-up girl who’s also a control freak?”

Kuroo opened his mouth, but for once, words failed him.

“Y/N—” Kenma stood, his voice quiet but urgent, trying to cut through the tension.

“No, it’s fine.” She held up a trembling hand, her gaze fixed on the floor as she shoved her belongings into her bag. “I’ll leave. Continue without me. Good luck.”

Before anyone could respond, she pushed past the four boys standing in stunned silence, the slam of the classroom door echoing behind her like the final chord of a tragic symphony.

And then, nothing. 

A heavy, suffocating silence settled in the room, too thick for anyone to break immediately. 

Kuroo felt it in his chest, a hollow ache he didn’t want to name, as if her absence had stolen all the oxygen.

Because she never reacted to any ofhis word in the same manner she did now, she always, always had some sort of funny response back.

“Do you ever think before you speak?” Akaashi asked finally, his tone as sharp as the glare he aimed at Kuroo.

“No, because I promise you, Kuroo, you’re the stupidest person I’ve ever met. maybe even stupider than Bokuto,” Kenma added bluntly, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Hey! What did I do?” Bokuto protested, a faint whine in his voice.

“You’d better fix this,” Kenma said firmly, ignoring Bokuto’s comment as he leveled a rare glare at Kuroo. “Because you messed up. Big time.”

And with that, Kenma walked out, leaving Kuroo to grapple with the weight of his own words—and the look in Y/N’s eyes that he couldn’t seem to forget.

──────────────────────

once again any likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated!!!!

taglist

@kashee-h

[acourtofthought]

I came across a post again about how Sarah has said that she likes her love interests in books to challenge each other and have banter and so on.. and it just got me thinking a little abour e/riel because I do not see how they would ever challenge each other? Elains solstice gifts are obviously funny and the closest we have gotten to any banter between them, but it's never from Azriels side, while with Gwyn we saw him joke around a bit more, and we know he can be funny with his dry humour, so it's not that he can't have banter with anyone. He won't challenge or push her to be her best self either :“There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.” so I just... Is there any way you can see them actually challening each other?? Im struggling to see how Sarah would be able to suddenly make them, it would change their characters so much from what we know, but maybe there are still ways to make them challenge each other? There is a lot to learn about both of them ofc, but it just seems unlikely at this point?

There are many lines in the series that have me agreeing wholeheartedly with you, many times where Elain made a comment and Az could have moved the conversation forward but didn't, but this one always stands out to me as evidence for the lack of banter we'd see with e/riel:

Az told Elain their near kiss was a mistake..... AND SHE APOLOGIZED TO HIM.

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Compare that to what Elain said to Lucien the first time they ever met?

Our girl was like "I'm irritated with you and you're about to hear about it".

That is how SJM endgame couples interact. If after knowing Az for nearly two years Elain couldn't say something other than "I'm sorry" when he was the one who started leaning into the kiss then rejected her, then it's clear to me these two will never be open and honest with one another. Elain should have responded with a heated, "What?! After all the looks my way you suddenly think this is a mistake?! What did I miss here??"

If Az couldn't say to her "hold that thought, Rhys is calling me" and instead chose to lie to her and hurt her feelings, then he's clearly not deserving of her.

"Peace and quiet" might be a romantic concept for some in real life but it's definitely not the stuff fantasy novels are made of.

Two characters who are currently "supposed" to have feelings for one another yet have only ever exchanged a total of around 20 sentences over the course of 4 books and 2 years is not a true romance in the making especially not for SJM. I think Gwynriel shared about 15 in one book and engaged in way more banter when they're not even friends yet.

[sakuraitsu]

Umbrella Under the Moonlight - Pt 9

Parts: Pt. 1 , Pt. 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7 , Pt 8

Yoongi chooses to watch as Jieun inspects Jin's injuries again. Namjoon had used a strange spray on Jin which had melted the embers buried in his wounds to restore the gaping flesh a few days ago. Now the puncture wounds looks like scrapes....

Yoongi had totally lost his days of peace and quiet in the bedroom he shares with Jin.

The older man will be waking up in the middle of the night after his night terror episodes. Now that Jin has his voice back, he will make Yoongi talk to him until he feels tired to return to sleep but this means bad news for his room mate. Jin does not have to work; all he needed was to rest but it was different for Yoongi.

He had chores to do in the house. Also, Changmin and Yunho had been sneaking meat patties into the kitchen during their visits. This seems to be rubbing the house owner in the wrong way but she had been eating the meat patties that Yoongi had prepared begrudgingly.

Jin shifts away from Jieun immediately after she completed her checks.

"You should be fit enough to help out around the house tomorrow."

"What? Why?"

"Yunho will fill all of you in when Kim Taehyung wakes up."

"Taehyung? What happened to him? Wait, everyone's here?" Jin turns his attention to Yoongi who shrugs.

"Isn't it kind of obvious."

"Who are you. No. What do you want from us?"

Jieun stares at Jin for some time and lets out a barely audible sigh.

"Gu Jieun, owner of the house that you're living in, cafe owner, independent lady of the 21st Century..."

"You own a cafe?"

She smirks at the question posted by Yoongi.

"Well, I can finally say goodbye to annoying part-timers once Kim Taehyung is up and going." She informs them before adding softly, "God I missed free labour."

"You're aware that we can hear you and it's against the law right?" Yoongi asks the woman.

Jin and Yoongi exchanged glances after hearing this but the older man seem unsatisfied with the reply. He was the person who brought the rest into the mess. Working without getting paid is trivial compared to what he had gotten everyone into. Jin was about to ask her another question when a loud crash is heard from beyond the closed door. 

Jieun rolls her eyes at the sound and left the room in a huff.

“Is that....Namjoon?” 

“Well, I did said that isn’t it obvious that everyone’s here?” Jin was about to say something when he felt Yoongi’s hand on his shoulder. “I don’t think it’s going to be the same. Stop sulking.” 

Another crash was heard from beyond the door and this time, both of them hears a familiar voice. 

“What do you want from us?!” Jin hears that familiar voice when he decides to follow Yoongi to check out what is happening outside. Jieun was standing opposite Namjoon who is holding back another person looking rather disinterested. Yoongi scans the living room to find pots of succulents and house plants scattered across the room. 

Namjoon is trying to hold back Taehyung from throwing more things at Jieun who simply stands still watching his friend throw his fit after waking up from a coma. She stood dumb at Taehyung’s fit but decides to inspect the damage he did to her house plants and succulents after around 5 minutes of staring at Taehyung.   

"Taehyung ah. Stop it."

"Why are you helping her? Did you even remember what happened before?"

"Jieun-ah, have you been....oh." Yunho stops mid-sentence at the sight of Namjoon holding back Taehyung while the lady in question is telling Yoongi what to prepare for dinner. Jimin and Hoseok were gaping at the mess in the living room after returning with Changmin and Yunho while for Jungkook...

He stood gaping at Taehyung who is finally out of coma. Taehyung was visibly shaken to see all of his friends gathered in the living room with the strangers and he stopped struggling in Namjoon's arms. Yunho scanned the room and seemed pretty satisified with what is going on...even though there are pieces of broken pottery, succulents and other items scattered around.

"Wow. Finally." Changmin lets out a sigh and waves his hands over the mess Taehyung has created. Bits of pottery, soil, pumice and succulents floats up from the floor and rugs. Taehyung watches in awe as the debris of his tantrum starts making a beeline towards another side of the room to where he assumes to be the garbage. Yoongi and Jimin looked rather upset when they saw this though.

Out of all the times Changmin was here, he has never bothered doing his hand-waving dragon magic to help them with cleaning. He simply leaves his used cups and cutlery in the sink and expects them to scrub after him. The dragon waves his hands again over the sofas and couches in the room to arrange them to surround Yunho and himself and signals to Jieun to join them.

"Now that all of you are up, well, let's get this started." Yunho declares to the group and the seven of them found themselves seated on the sofas and couches that Changmin has rearranged. "I will appreciate it if you sit through this in a civilized manner, Taehyung." He addresses the young man who seem to be struggling in the couch that he was seated on.

"I hope that they are able to sit through this properly." Jieun murmurs to Changmin.

Jin did not look good at how things seems to be progressing. He was given some strange glittery magical spray that healed his punctured vocal chords over 2 days; then this strange tall person is able to make debris float to the garbage disposal with a wave of his hands; rearrange furniture in the living room doing the same action; the woman could pull things out from thin air; Hoseok told him that she is able to heal his bad bruise with a single touch and Yoongi told him that the taller man is a Dragon and this Yunho is a jeosung saja.

What about this woman then?

After several failed attempts of trying to get up from his designated seat, Taehyung seem to have resigned to sitting down properly. Seeing that he has finally stopped, Yunho turns his attention to the rest and Jieun snaps her fingers.

Jin was the first person to let out a cry. The skin on his left thigh felt as it someone pressed a brand over it and he could feel the burn down to his soul. He tried massaging the burning spot but it did not seem to help at all and his action seem to confuse Yoongi on his left. Yoongi thought he is overreacting when it is his turn to jolt. Instead of his thigh like Jin, Yoongi's left foot jerks up immediately at the burning sensation which he is all too familiar with. However, compared to the burn he felt in the fire, this time round the burn made every hair on his back stand and he could feel it going a lot deeper than the flesh. In fact, the burn started on a little spot on his left big toe and it penetrated from his skin into flesh, blood and bones. Hoseok gawks at the pair and his attention shifts to Jieun, expression changing from surprise to horror after noticing that he might be the next in line to suffer.

Jieun smirks at the young man and he squawks while holding onto his left ankle.

"Jieun-ssi, what's..." Namjoon gapes at the woman after seeing Hoseok rolling on the floor holding onto his ankle.

"It'll sting a little but trust me, you'll be fine after a while. Look at both of them." She gestures to Jin and Yoongi who are still recovering from the mysterious 'sting' she mentioned. Namjoon did not have time to ask another question because it came so fast that he snapped his back straight to hold onto his abdomen. His response seems to be more similar to someone who got a rubber band shot at his stomach than that of agony like Hoseok who is rolling on the floor clutching to his ankle.

Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook gulped at the reactions of the 4 hyungs. It is so different that Jimin has no idea on what to expect until...

"Ah. What have you done. I felt that in my soul." Yoongi groans after recovering from the experience. "I would rather be burned to death again..." he drones.

This is the moment Jimin shoots up from his seat clutching onto his bum. Changmin and Jieun raises an eyebrow looking rather amused by Jimin's reaction as he is fanning his left buttcheek while hopping around his spot. Jungkook's laughter tears through the living room at the sight while Taehyung did not look good at this. He is magically bound to his couch and he can hardly move his limbs. All he is capable of doing is to turn his head and gape at Jieun.

"Jieun ah, can you make it less painful?"

"You know that I've been trying to but I can't really help it." She shrugs as Taehyung's face contorts at the burn that he is feeling on his left knee. He could not move his limbs at all thanks to whatever magical binding is being casted on him but he recovers pretty fast.

It is mild compared to what Jieun did to his neck in the painting previously.

Jungkook hardly have the time to react because he had only realized that he was hit while trying to recover from laughing at Jimin's reaction. The pain on his right abdomen snaps him back straight into the couch but he struggled keeping it contained as he was still giggling at Jimin's little performance.

Namjoon lifts up his shirt to see the letter 구 (nine) being carved into the burning spot on his abdomen in some kind of strange black ink which is glowing orange. Seeing this, Hoseok pulls up his left pant leg to inspect the spot to find the same letter.

"What. What is this? Why are we...being branded?"

Jin, after recovering from the initial shock of being branded, felt a surge of energy being pump in his system. It was similiar to how he felt when he had accepted 'help' from that creature but this time round, he is not writhing in agony of being consumed by fire from the inside.

In fact, it is rather warm and comforting.

Also, there is this sense of familiarity to the warmth that he felt that it actually made his chest feel a little fuzzy. It is a fuzzy feeling which is similar to how he felt when he was preparing to meet her to pass the flowers.

Then, he saw a flash of the same flower but this time, instead of being in a bouquet like how he had gotten them, it is one.

A single blood-stained Smeraldo.

"What are you?"

"That's pretty rude." She replies curtly.

"Why am I see-"

"Well, since Jieun has branded you all, perhaps it's time for me to do some explanations on your situation." Yunho interjects.

What in the world was that. Does she know about that flower?

"Branded? You mean like...pigs?"

"Why is she branding us?"

"You are aware that you're dead right?" Changmin sighs.

"Eh well...I remembered that I was dead and I woke up in a room...." Yoongi muses.

"Unfortunately, we couldn't collect your souls and send you gentlemen to the Afterlife when the 6 of you were dead." Yunho smiles.

Jin avoided eye contact with everyone upon hearing this statement.

"Your souls...well to be honest, the jeoseung saja were too late in collecting your souls when a yokwe decides to capture them."

And some of them were eaten while trying to prevent such things from happening... Yunho thought.

"Wait. I though Death is always on time?! What do you mean by too late?"

"Hm...situations happens. Not everything's on schedule, Min Yoongi. There are always malicious yokwe which are on the prowl for certain types of human souls...be it as a food source, a means to harvest more food source..."

"We were being used as a means for a yokwe to harvest." Namjoon sighs.

"Oh...right." Yoongi recalls the times they had to lure people into their painting for...harvesting.

"But why are we not in hell yet?" Jungkook blurts out.

"We understand that you were acting against your wills but at the same time, your souls has been touched by a yokwe and it remains as a fact that you've killed people and messed up the records. Since your souls has been touched by a yokwe and bonded to it for some time...the process has awakened certain abilities...we've decided to let you use these abilities to prevent more humans and souls from being controlled by these yokwe."

The 7 of them froze at the comment.

"Wait. Wait. We had powers because we were bound to that thing. Now that we aren't bound..."

"Are you stupid, Yoongi. That's why I had to brand all of you." She lets out a dramatic sigh at this. "I thought you're better than this."

Yoongi sat deadpanned on his couch at the comment.

"Noona, I'm able to keep up but seeing hand-waving dragon cleaning magic happening before me after all the shit I've been through for the past few weeks is making me extremely confused and upset. I was having an existential crisis earlier. Did he leave the mess behind on purpose? How can dragons be so mean? Am I being bullied by a mythical creature that doesn't exist? If it doesn't exist that means he can't be leaving a mess behind every time right? Then it doesn't help that I have a jeoseung saja telling me that Death might not come on time. The said jeoseung saja then tells me that I have some spiritual policing to do after telling me that I have committed crimes against the Spirit World. I got branded by a woman who had munched on a fireball like Gyeranppang. All of that...is a lot for a normal person to process." Yoongi drawls while keeping that deadpanned expression that never fails to amuse Jieun.

"I have to agree with Yoongi-hyung on this one." Namjoon chips in. "It's a little overwhelming."

Hoseok simply sits on his couch with his bright smile plastered on his face but the trio could tell that he is having a hard time processing what had transpired. Yoongi's rant did not seem to he helping him to unpack what is going on. Jimin was gaping at Yoongi and he chose to laugh over crying.

In fact, he was laughing so hard that he had slipped from the couch. Jungkook had the same expression as Hoseok initially but he snapped out of it after seeing Jimin slip off from his couch.

And started laughing at Jimin. Taehyung could not help to have the corners of his lips lift up by a little after witnessing what had happened. For a while, it reminded them of their days back in school. The atmosphere lightens by a little at their antics but Jin's question cuts through all the fun and laughter they had...

"Are you saying that you're the same as that monster?"

The question pops the little fun bubble that was created.

"Jin-hyung, how can you make such claims?! She saved us." Namjoon interjects after hearing the question.

"I don't trust any one of you. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and the greatest one was to trust that monster."

Changmin steps forth to Jin upon hearing that statement and the 7 of them could see the doctor's pupils narrowing into slits and his irises glowed blue. In fact, there were sparks surrounding Changmin when he heard Jin indirectly calling Jieun a monster and Yunho had to hold him back from Jin. Namjoon notices dark clouds gathering outside through the full length windows in the living room when Changmin was storming towards Jin.

Yoongi and Hoseok instinctively dives in front of Jin to keep the storming dragon away from their hyung. Without the medium, they are as good as battered normal humans in front of the mighty dragon but that does not seem to be stopping them from protecting Jin.

There's no doubt about it. This doctor is a dragon. A tempermental one too.

Yes, an angry dragon is scary but they will not let any harm befall upon Jin.

Both parties were locked in a staredown when Jieun's voice broke the silence.

"Take it however way you want to. I'm doing my job to ensure that you exist in this plane to do your jobs." She throws her hands up in the air while turning away from the group.

"Without the brand, you will be hunted by a horde of malicious hungry yokwe the moment you step out of this house."

Namjoon and Yoongi raises their eyebrows when they heard Changmin's comment. While it is true that Jieun had forced them to do housework, she never lets any one of them take any garbage beyond the gates. She only gets violent whenever they attempt to escape the compound or comes too close to the walled garden.

"So...that was the reason why you didn't let us out of the house at all before?"

Hoseok was rather pensive as he puts his hand over the spot which was hit by Jieun's crutch before.

"We had to keep you in this compound before because you're catnip to yokwe. Your souls practically smells like fried chicken to yokwe from all the harvesting and they will be on your asses the moment you step out of the gate. You are not bound to Jieun or me so you won't be able to fend for yourselves in an attack at all."

Jieun slides the windows open and was preparing to leave them when she notices that it was a wrong move. The storm clouds are making it difficult for her to leave the house for her garden. She will have to wait for Changmin to calm down before she's able to do anything outside.

"Call Jieun a monster again and you'll regret it, Kim Seokjin." Changmin hisses at Jin who is trying his best to not shrink into his couch from the intensity of his tone. Thunder could be heard rumbling together with the dragon's every word as he spoke to Jin.

He was pretty sure that Changmin could hit him with the biggest lightning blast in the history of lightning if he wanted.

"Another thing: I'm not the same as that thing which had imprisoned all of you so...you'll have to train." She informs the group.

"We will be here everyday to help you." Yunho smiles to them.

"Eel, can you calm down? I have a garden that needs me."

Changmin throws Jin a dirty look before breaking eye contact with him to shift his attention to Jieun. He makes his way out of the house with Jieun across the compound before disappearing from the group's line of sight into the walled garden. Yoongi and Hoseok lets out a long sigh of relief after noticing that the sun is starting to shine through.

Yunho steps up in front of Jin and tells him, "Changmin is a relatively young dragon. Although he might be quite a handful to Jieun, please be wary of how you speak of Jieun in his presence. They had been friends for over a thousand years. That...was just a warning. You really don't want to get on a dragon's bad side."

The sky is starting to clear up and Jin swallows hard at the thought of getting a lightning blast from Changmin.

"What happened before?"

"Two villages were flooded and one was burnt down. I had to work overtime because some humans decided to chase Gu Jieun out from their villages claiming that she 'was a harlot'. Thanks to some yokwe posing as her to hunt."

"A dragon got away with that?" Namjoon asks in disbelief after learning that bit of information from the joseung saja.

Yunho smiles at the question.

<Previous

[semischarmed]

Temptation

-Wednesday- 

I love him so much. God I love him. And he’ll never know. Maybe it was a curse from a past life or something. To live like this, tantalizingly close to him but unable to act. I knew he didn’t see me that way, but that didn’t help any in my situation. 

Take today for instance, he just came back from the gym today soaked in the lingering smell of sweat. It was probably residual perspiration on the clothes he was carrying back or some other thing in his bag. Still. The smell. Goddamn. I could have died and gone to heaven on the spot. I tried to sneak a whiff of Connor, but all I could pick up was whatever soap and cologne he used. It was earthy, woodsy. Like cut cedar and fresh rain. It’s the Connor I always smelled, since he did always keep himself quite clean, and it’s a wonderful scent in its own right, forming the basis of my idea of Connor and the scent I associated with him. But damn. This paled in comparison to the hints of musk and workout sweat I could glean from his clothing. He reeked of pure man and it’s such a shame he covered that up. God I hope he doesn’t do laundry anytime soon.

He must have picked up on something, cause not a moment later I got a “Oh dude! I’m so sorry, this stuff probably reeks haha. I’ll get it washed up so it doesn’t stink up the place” he laughed politely. Fuck.

“Sure, you do you” I stated back, mentally cursing at his propensity for cleanliness.

You’d think the ROTC guys wouldn’t give two fucks about their smell but I guess Connor was an exception. Then again I don’t really know what they did, so maybe it was normal for them. In any case, he definitely did laundry tonight, and I definitely lost out on a good jack off.

-Friday-

So, weird thing happened last night. Connor looked tired as fuck, but he went out. The man must have been running on sheer willpower alone cause he had some kind of training day earlier today too. He collapsed in his room at like 8. Yet there he was an hour later- eyes bloodshot, hair tousled. Maybe he wanted to let loose or something? Still pretty weird. I mean, the guy was practically a saint. It’s odd enough that he went out for drinks, but even odder that he went out dressed like he did. Still I could definitely get used to a more experimental Connor. 

He was also a little looser when he came back. Gave me a pat on the shoulder and a wink. Something about “keeping the room safe” or something. I couldn’t concentrate enough to tell what he was actually rambling about. His breath was drenched in alcohol. I feel like I almost got drunk off the fumes alone when he spoke. No surprise when he had no recollection of any of it after he woke up from his nap. 

Total guilty pleasure, but the messy look was kind of hot on him. Never seen my friend so disheveled like this, he was always so prim and proper. It’s kind of nice to see him knocked down a few pegs. 

-Tuesday-

Connor let out a cute yawn before scratching his pits. He gave his scratching hand a quick sniff before settling into a satisfied smile. My dick jumped a little. I feigned ignorance when he regarded me, asking me if I saw that. “I… uh…no. Definitely not.” 

“Sure dude.” Now fully aware of my stare, Connor continued scratching at himself. “You’re seeing this now though, right?” He ran a hand over his stomach, gently feeling through his defined abs. I kept replaying the event in my head, drooling the delight I just witnessed and at a little daydream of me coming up to to feel this new side of Connor with him. In my daze, I barely noticed my roommate inching closer.

Plus, did he seem… bigger? Though I can’t say I’ve ever seen the guy without a shirt on so I guess I just never noticed. Regardless, this version of Connor was fucking hot. Looks like he’s got a tat too. Hot. 

“Baby if you’re gonna keep looking, you might as well have a taste.” He laughed warmly. I couldn’t believe what I just heard. In my stunned state, I couldn’t do anything beyond stare at him in disbelief as a vascular hand that seemed larger than it should be guided mine around his perky ass. God what a nice ass. I still recoiled out of the sheer absurdity in the situation. Try as I might, I couldn’t wrap my brain around the idea of this Connor. It’s like he was two different people. Well, I definitely liked this version of my friend more. I’m still drooling over what just happened.

“Another time, then,” he chuckled before walking to his room. 

Weird. Connor never really shut his door other than to sleep. Guess he was tired or something. 

-Thursday-

Well shit, I totally misread all of that. Today, I thought I saw that same glint of intrigue in his eyes and decided to risk it. Conner was just sitting in his boxers eating cereal and I was just standing there, a few feet behind. I couldn’t help it. My hand instinctively reached out and the cupped the outline of his ass. Perky. It was cute and compact and plump but definitely had a bit of muscle behind it. I regretted the action immediately. 

“…The fuck dude?” He gently whispered. It was more bewilderment than anything. Fuck. He was incredulous and I couldn’t blame him. Anger raged inside him, I could tell. But neither of us knew what to do in the situation. We stood there, staring at each other for what felt like hours before I relented.

In shame I could barely stammer out a shameful “s-sorry” before I slunk back to my room, bright red. 

I fucked up.

-Monday-

Okay. Scratch everything I just said. Connor is fucking with me. He’s got to be. He strode around the apartment half naked, humming a quiet tune to himself. Sure. Fine, I guess. Whatever. But as soon as he noticed me on the couch working on an essay, he walked over and gave me a hug from behind. Oh my god that hug. Connor was a lean dude, but I swear his muscles were fucking bulging, like they were barely contained in his skin. He wrapped those thick pythons over my shoulders and chest and I just about melted on the spot. I’m pretty sure I moaned a little too. Who wouldn’t? Wrapped in his warm embrace, surrounded by this man- I was his for that moment. I tensed up on the spot. I knew he didn’t swing that way, so I don’t know what he was trying but there was no way I would fall for what I could only assume was some kind of trap. 

He spoke in a tone laced in sex. It set me off in a way I didn’t expect. This was a side of Connor I’ve never seen, a tone of Connor I’ve never heard- an experience of Connor I’ve never had. It was a Connor I never knew I needed.

“I’ve seen the way you look at this body. You’re not very subtle.” In the faintest of whispers, he leaned in until his lips were barely touching my ear. My dick was already rock hard in anticipation- I was practically bursting at the seams and I’m sure he had a great view of it. “Just say the word and ‘Connor’ is yours”. 

With a control and a willpower I never had before, I refrained from kissing this boy- from putting myself all over him on the spot. I mentally cursed at my friend. ‘What the fuck are you playing at Connor?’ 

His hot, damp breath caressed my ear in its own embrace as I stood my ground, unmoving like stone. “Got to hand it to you, bro, you put up a really good fight. It’s okay. I love a good fight. Makes victory taste all the more sweeter.” The feel of Connor’s thick, defined fingers running through my hair and wet, slimy tongue across my cheek. He rolled his body forward, so the pulse through his abs would be felt across the back of my neck. From this spot, he was downright imposing. His guns went in for another caress- this time wrapping across my cheeks and around my chin.

“You know I love you bro… This body’s straight as an arrow. But it’s my body- I’ll go gay for you if you want”. What the fuck. Oh god I got a bit of his sweat on my cheek too. My eyes fluttered, body entrapped in a spell of my own hormones reacting to my friend’s advances.

Connor broke me. I shivered on the spot, leaned up to the man, moaned an “Oh fuck…Connor I-I need you. I-” before he cut me off. “Well bro, kind of looks like you still got some work today- you have fun with that.” He laughed coldly. He was fucking with me.

That whole exchange was really fucking weird, cause just a few hours later, it was back to pure awkward silence between us. Like a flip of a switch, the every energy he exuded around me could only be described as “uncomfortable”. I wanted to talk to him, to speak with him about earlier, to tell him I wanted him the same way. Something about those eyes read differently though. They read the same Connor I had been used to until recently. I decided to hold my tongue. Something about this situation wasn’t adding up.

Also I’m pretty sure this kid needs to see a doctor or something. I swear the guy doesn’t sleep- he’s out every night and then I see his tired ass drag himself to class every morning. Rushing a frat? Weird drugs? Could have been a host of things. 

-Tuesday-

Now 4 days since the incident last week. Thankfully he hasn’t brought it up- nor has he brought up whatever the fuck yesterday was. If it was even real. I sweat and stumble over my sentences in every conversation I make with him. I flash back to what he said to me. God, this was all too much. Every time I try to focus myself, focus on whatever he was talking to me about, I couldn’t help but think of the Connor that visited me yesterday night. 

Maybe, maybe it was just a hallucination. Maybe I dreamed it all up. I was working on an essay for hours. The whole encounter could have easily been a dream. He’s been going out every night too, so it’s not like he could have been speaking to me that coherently. Still. That didn’t make it any better. Whether or not he knew it, Connor was a demon in my life. 

I shamefully admit I totally jacked off to that little exchange from yesterday after he left. Grabbed some used Connor-scented garments off his hamper and exploded all over myself in a Connor-themed session. Nothing like the exquisite gym-soaked clothes from a week ago, but it was enough. It was still Connor. My eyes rolled up to the back of my head in pleasure as I took a breath, basking in the afterglow and the scent of forest and earth and faintest lingering musk of Connor in my nose. Connor was everything to me and, hallucination or not, I committed yesterday’s events to memory. 

-Still Tuesday-

Shitshitshit. Definitely not a dream. I caught the son of a bitch. In the dead of night, I caught him sneaking in from a dark corner of the room. Like a figure manifest from the shadows itself. He was holding some silver figurine in his hand, reciting some odd words, before he lunged at the sleeping Connor. He gave my roommate a quick sniff before scoffing. “Bro you have to stop cleaning all your nice smells away… With that the stranger pulled at the corners of Connor’s mouth. I watched as my roommate’s skin was forced to accommodate the man’s muscular calves. 

I watched as the stranger pulled Connor every further up himself. Damn, even in the dark I could tell the man was ripped. When his head finally slotted into where Connor’s skull would be, and Connor’s face was stretched being pulled, I saw the immediate change in my friend’s demeanor. This was the guy who’s been fucking with me recently. This was why Connor looked so buff lately. I couldn’t see the man who jumped inside my best friend, but I could never wipe that smug smile he wore through Connor’s face. 

The smell that originated from inside Connor, the same smell I experienced a week ago. God I loved that scent. It permeated throughout the room. Best friend concentrate. Like a humid, musky, grime that clung to the very air and decorated my nostrils. I never wanted his scent out of me again. I felt like I was inhaling Connor himself, regarding a newly discovered private part of my friend.

My stomach churned in a mix of anticipation and horror. Sweat beaded at my temples. Gotta admit, this was kind of hot. I had to figure out what I was gonna do about this. Self-preservation kicked in and I fled to my room, taking special attention to ensure I did not alert the man inside Connor. Not like he’d notice anyways- dude was feeling himself up almost immediately after he slipped inside. 

-Wednesday-

It’s like clockwork at this point. The “other” Connor came back early in the morning from a wild night out, before passing out on our couch as I was finally able to speak with my friend. Impossibly tired eyes looked back at me. He gave a weak grimace. “Must have passed out again….Uh.. can I help you man?” My heart sank. Could I really tell him this? My poor roommate. “No, uh.. do you want any breakfast?”.

I could tell he had meant to say yes. He motioned as much, before staring at my face and turning away. Fuck. He was definitely still put off by last week’s advance. I honestly don’t blame him. “N-no. I got it. Thanks.” 

I grimaced awkwardly before shrugging and walking to fix myself some breakfast. This would complicate things. And I couldn’t do that to Connor. I needed to find a way to fix this without him knowing. Evidently, his body being used and worn out like an evening jacket was taking its toll on him. Despite whatever we were going through, he was still my friend. And I couldn’t in good faith add more to that burden. 

“Hey, one of the guys from the gym’s coming over for dinner, that cool?” 

“Yeah man, I’ll just order some extra pizza,” I said back, sighing internally in relief at some semblance of normalcy.

-Still Wednesday -

I met Connor’s gym friend. To be honest, already forgot his name. He gave me a wink when he shook my hand and I couldn’t stop staring all dinner. I think even Connor picked up on it. He looked almost jealous with all the attention I usually gave him being directed at the stranger. The stranger asked to use the bathroom, and I wanted to let him know how to get to it, but he seemed to already know the path.

“Hey bro, is it cool if I stay the night?“ I nodded automatically, lost in deep thought.

There’s something peculiar about the Connor’s gym friend. And I didn’t notice it until I was already in bed. Then hit me like a brick. 

That fucking smirk. 

-End-

If anyone knows who this guy is, please let me know… for.. uh.. research purposes.

[pvrpleblccd]

Promise.

pairing : shuntaro chishiya x f reader

tw : angst, unresolved grief, death, mentions of death, blood, violence (beating up someone), chishiya being violent

a/n : this is my first post- cndovn- but i am currently having a massive crush on this man right here <3 ALSO CHISHIYA GIVES ME MASSIVE KENMA VIBES (im sorry for the typos, i wrote this at 4 am-)

-

There he was again, sitting at the edge of the rooftop of the Beach, hoods on and hands in his white Nike zip up sweater, well, it was given to him. He looked down to see all of the horny animals dancing and living their life as if it was their last day. Chishiya sighed, ‘Everyone looks like their all about to die, as always.’

It was a beautiful day in this cruel country. But it’s just like any other day, people will die tonight, either because their visa will expire or die during a game. Dying in a game, probably the worst death here. Chishiya sighed again and took a deep breath, trying to erase all negativity going through his head. Though, there’s one thing that he can’t get out of his head.

“Hey, Chishiya.”

Chihsiya whipped his head to where he heard the voice. He was about to call her name, but he only saw Kuina at the door of the rooftop entrance, looking at Chishiya with a confused look. ‘Ah... I’m still hearing her voice, I must be crazy.’

“An told me you guys had a meeting, I’m just here to rely the message to you.”

The blonde male nodded and stood up, making his way to where Kuina was. No words were exchanged between the both of them, though Kuina noticed the slight mood change the male had every now and then. There are times where he’s cocky, would always slide comment when he had the chance, had his guard up, and times where he just became more reserved than ever and was cold and gloomy.

Kuina noticed, but never dared prying on it, not wanting to get on the intelligent man bad side.

Chishiya on the other side, he zipped up the white hoodie he loved very much. He entered the meeting room and sat at his place, like always, though he kept a pokerface while hugging the hoodie he was wearing. He felt several pair of eyes on him, not on him, but the zip up he was wearing. No one dared to say anything, though Niragi wasn’t having it.

“Chishiya. Were you really obligated to wear that zip up when we’re in a meeting?!”

Niragi shouted from his place, gripping hard the rifle he had in his hand. No one budge or said anything, even Hatter looked at Chishiya, both with envy and anger in his eyes.

“It was given to me. Why whouldn’t I wear it? If you’re thinking that we should share it, you, out of everyone in this room, that I don’t share what I own. And plus, if we shared it, you’d only get blood on it and dirty it, y/n managed to keep it white and as clean as possible. I won’t let your stupidity ruin it.”

“You wouldn’t know what y/n would have wanted!” Niragi stood up and pointed his rifle at the blonde male.

“I knew y/n longer than you.”

“We were still close!”

“To someone like you? I don’t think so, you’re a complete psycho, Niragi.”

“Give it a break! We’re all mourning Chishiya, espicially An! So what the hell do you mean, y/n-”

“Y/n is dead.” Last Boss said while looking at the arguing males.

The room was even more quiet than it ever was, not only with the statement, but for the bald tattooed male to speak up and empathized the dead made them slightly uncomfortable. With no one saying a thing for a minute or two, Mira stood up and talked about the card they were able to collect and that they haven’t gotten news ones for a while. An talked about the medical supplies and that she was running out from it, Hatter asked Aguni and his Militants to accompany An for a short run to grab all supplies they can gather.

She was the first one to leave, the meeting room which was understandable. When no one said anything, Hatter talked about adding a new rule. Rule number three, death to traitors.

Soon after, the meeting was done.

The blonde male made his way to his room, opening the door he saw a familiar figure sitting on his bed, when he blinked the figure was gone. Chishiya closed his room door and laid on his bed, looking at the ceiling. He never felt so confused and empty in his entire life. He never wanted to deal with anyone’s emotions or feelings, let alone his. But upon on thinking and thinking, he came to a conclusion he now only realized.

How much he loved y/n.

“Damn it. This hurts... This sucks.”

Too tired and exhausted to think, Chishiya closed his eyes and embraced the darkness that surrounded him.

“Chishiya?” A voice called out.

The blonde male turned his head, seeing a petite figure looking at him as if he was a ghost. He looked at her from head to toe and his eyes grew wide, he instantly got up and hugged the petite figure.

“Y/n?” He said in a weak voice.

The petite figure sighed in relief and hugged the male back, while letting out a small sob. They were currently in an abandonned mall, gathering food and necessities to get through the night. Y/n came back with a ton of canned food and water, while Chishiya came back with the others things they needed, such as flashlights and batteries and other things.

The both of them were catching up upon missed times and Chishiya kept eyeing on how she was dressed, grey sweatpants with a nike zip up and what looked like a swimsuit top, and the pink locker bracelet around y/n wrist. The numbers 009 was on the bracelet and the girl knew he was looking at it.

“What’s the most recent game you completed?” The petite girl asked.

“Six of diamonds, how about you?” Chishiya said, eating the canned peach. He didn’t noticed the slight spark in y/n’s eyes, but she smiled.

“Nine of hearts.” Y/n said and took a bite of her food.

A comfortable and peaceful silence was set between the two until the girl broke it.

“I want to take you somewhere.”

~

“Hatter, I want him to be part of the executives.”

Y/n said right after they all welcomed her back. All of them looked at her with confused and looked at Chishiya then back at y/n. The girl only smiled and put all of cards she collected on the table. Chishiya couldn’t believe the amount of cards she had in her possession, there was 14 cards in total.

“Chishiya cleared a diamonds game and is the lone survivor, I highly believe that his skills can be very useful to us. Also, I have known him before entering the Borderland. He is like a precious gem, full of hidden talents!”

She said while putting her hands in her grey sweatpants.

The blonde male was taken aback by the sudden praise, but dind’t show it. The others turned their attention to Chishiya, hearing the praise from y/n made them have a base opinion on Chishiya, he was smart and must not be harmed. Hatter started to explain the two rules to Chishiya and handed him a blue locker bracelet with the number 011 on it.

“Enjoy the Beach!”

~

After Chishiya settled in the Beach for a couple of weeks, he and y/n grew closer than they ever were before. The two of them became inseparable.

During one night, Chishiya and y/n were hanging out in the lobby, they were part of the first teams that finished early. Chishiya lost his other hoodie, blood was splattered on it, due to a player clung onto him begging him to help him and his collar went off.

In short words, he was currently shirtless. Y/n trying her best not to look, couldn’t help, but take a peek, thought the blonde male caught her.

“Like what you see?”

He said with a grin plastered on his face. Out of embarrassment, she took off her white Nike zip up and handed it to Chishiya, who watched her with an amused expression.

“H-here...! It’s yours now..!” She said and sprinted to elsewhere.

Chishiya sat there smiling at himself and decied to put the zip up on. He got up from his place and went off to find y/n. A part of him starting to worry, since it’s been an hour and he hasn’t found the petite girl yet. He passed the lobby at least three or four times, that’s when he started asking around.

With no one knowing where the girl was, he even asked Niragi, he too was worried so they both went on their sides to find her. Chishiya went outside and started to walk around the perimeter until he heard an oh so familiar voice coming form the sketchy alleyway.

“Were you hiding the cards from Hatter?”

“So what if I was?! I had to watch my friends die in front of me to be able to get this card! I’m not giving it to some cult leader or whatever he is!”

Chishiya rushed to the voices and saw one of the new militants holding three cards in his left hands and a gun in this right. Y/n tried to reason with the boy, but it only seemed to boil his blood even more, to the point he raised his gun. Chishiya ran to y/n side and hid her behind him, y/n on the other side was surprised.

“Put the gun down... You’re pointing it at the most important person apart from Hatter.” Chishiya tried calm the boy down, but didn’t work.

“Y/n... You remember Kirika? She was close to you right? Did you know that she gave her life up so that I can survive the game? Her last words were, ‘Tell y/n, thank you... I love you Aki-kun.’ She gave her life for me because she loved me!”

Aki broke down crying, falling on his knees and letting out pained screams. Y/n came forward tears falling down her cheek and approached Aki and gave him a hug. She careful put the gun down and caressed the top of Aki’s head.

“Kirika was a wonderful person, Aki, she was-“

Y/n sentence was cut abruptly and Chishiya took a step wondering why y/n suddenly stopped talking, he took another stop forward, his eyes widening seeing Aki’s hands was covered in blood and held a knife. He dropped the knife and moved his hand to grab the gun next to him.

“You’re all Hatter’s soldier. We have to end this, I have to end it.”

Aki grabbed the gun and slowly got up, hair covering his eyes. While Chishiya looked at how y/n’s body fell to the side and seeing a dark substance staining her grey sweatpants. A small pool of her own blood was starting to form underneath her.

Chishiya looked at Aki who was still mumbling things, but he saw red. The blonde grabbed the closest thing to him, which was a metal pipe, and ran towards Aki, hitting him with it, unable to stop himself.

Chishiya’s blood was boiling, he never felt so angered in his entire life. He kept on swining the pipe, hitting a part of Aki’s body every time. His vision was red, he couldn’t even hear the screams of his victim. What brought him back was Aguni taking off the metal pipe off of his hands. Chishiya’s face was unrecognizable, it was full of hatred, sadness, anger and disgust. Aguni never saw such expression on the male’s face before, he always looked so calm and preserved.

Something caught Chishiya off guard when he looked at Aguni. His eyes were red, as if he was holding himself back not to cry, that’s when he remembered y/n. He turned around to see An trying to stop the bleeding from y/n’s wound, but the blood was coming out and went through all of the amount of cloth that was put on it.

The blonde male rushed towards y/n’s side caressed her face while shaking his head. Tears fell on the girl’s cheek while Chishiya was telling y/n to stay with him. He soon looked at An and she was trying everything she could, all of the sudden, a small and tired voice caught his attention.

“S...shuntaro...? Ri-chan..?”

The blonde male whipped his head to look at y/n. She was smiling. Why was she smiling? She was dying, but she was still smiling. Chishiya tried to understand her, but couldn’t.

“S-spending my... last moments.. with the ones I love.. Shun... taro... I’m sorry... but pro..mise me... you’ll live, okay?”

“W..why are you saying sorry.. No. We both survive okay? Look... An... An will take care of you okay?”

Y/n turned weakly looked over the forsenic, who was doing her best to keep the petite girl alive. They made an eye contact, y/n let out a pained sigh while An shook her head. Y/n was trying to stay strong until the very end.

“Ri..chan... Thank you for everything... Take care... Big sis...”

At this point, An was crying too and shouted for other people to come help them. Y/n placed her bloodied hand on Chishiya’s cheek, wiping his tears away, he held her hand as she caressed him. She was so warm, he never knew she was this warm before. He didn’t wanted her to leave.

Just not yet.

“No.. No, you can’t leave.. Hang on okay y/n..? Help is... help is on the way.”

Y/n shook her head and let all of her tears fall, managing to give Chishiya one final smile.

“Shuntaro... I love you.”

At her words, y/n’s eyes closed and her hand went limp, landing on her body. When the other arrived, all of the executives looked at the scene before them. They were too late. An was crying, still holding on her little sister dead body, telling her to wake up and not to leave her. Chishiya sat there unable to move or say anything.

A pang of guilt hit two executives in particular and they slightly looked at each other and sighed, tears slowly coming in their vision. Aguni was behind them and his fist turned white, knowing y/n was the most important person in the Beach. She was the only one who kept Hatter in the sane side.

Niragi pushed the people aside and dropped his rifle, analyzing the dead girl’s feature. Y/n died with a smile on her face.

“She looks so peaceful.”

Chishiya woke up at the sound of the bell, indicating to gather in the lobby and group up, since the games were about to start. He felt something wet on his side and he looked at his pillow, it was wet. He touched his face and he shook his head, laying on his bed once again.

He cried. He was crying.

He looked at the ceiling and smiled sadly, clutching on his chest at the amount of pain he felt. The memory of her smiling to him was engraved in his mind and he wasn’t going to let it go.

“I never had the chance to tell you that I loved you too... I’m sorry.. I only now realized it..”

He stood up, wiping the tears off of his face, putting his shoes on and went to the lobby. He put his hood on and tucked his hands in the pockets, he analyzed everyone and he nodded to himself.

‘I will keep my promise.’

[scarletwinterxx]

End to Start pt. 4 - Jaehyun AU

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

taglist: @the-universe-in-you-jjh @undevotedfangirl @dumplingley @halbae @johnjaespeach​  @notsooperfect​ ​

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

PREV || NEXT

“I never pegged you for a liar”

“You might be a foot taller than me but I won’t hesitate to deck you if you don’t shut up”

“You said you didn’t know him!”

“I never said such thing” you argued back, it was the typical morning for you. And by typical you mean Jungwoo bothering you as you work around the shop. Everyday he makes you wonder why you hired him in the first place.  

“Your ex is Jung Jaehyun, the CEO of Jung Publishing. Their company is like established world wide, his sisters work abroad and his youngest brother works here. The world really is small after all”

“You sound like a fan”

“I can’t believe I tease Sungchan like that when his family can buy the whole block”

“Better start saying your apologies then” you mumbled

The bell ringed just then, making the two of you look up. “Speaking of, Sungchan, Jungwoo has something to say to you” You said as the younger boy walk towards the front counter

“Did I do something wrong again? I swear I didn’t mix up the salt and sugar this time”

“This time?” you asked

“No no no, you didn’t do anything wrong” you and Jungwoo spoke at the same time, the taller boy looking between the two of you like a little kid worried he might get scolded over something

“It was one time, and in my defense it was partly Jungwoo hyung’s fault. He put the two side by side”

“I kinda don’t want to know” 

“You have something to say to me?” Sungchan asked Jungwoo, you just chuckled at the latter “You know, you’re a liar too”

“Too? What did I lie about exactly?”

“You’re a Jung!” 

“He literally said that the day he applied here, technically he didn’t lie about anything. I was just dumb enough not to put two and two together” you answered for the younger boy. The three of you proceeded to work, the two boys in the kitchen area getting some pastries ready for display, you can hear them bickering from back there. 

“Uhm noona, can I ask you something?” you were surprised by the sudden voice breaking the silence in your office, there Sungchan stood by the door peaking in

“Sure, come in. What is it?”

“Am I fired?”

“Why? Did you switch the sugar with salt again?” you chuckled, trying to make him feel less nervous

“Uhm I kinda heard what happened yesterday at home. I swear I wasn’t eavesdropping but you know, you guys weren’t exactly quiet” 

You just smiled at the boy, he was so much like his siblings yet so different. He definitely got the good looking genes, much like his older brother he also has a weird sense of humor. But one thing that sets them apart is how shy and nervous Sungchan seems to be, like a little puppy being introduced to the world. 

“Of course you’re not fired. Whatever happened between me and your brother has got nothing to do with you, I kinda didn’t even know you were siblings up until yesterday”

“I didn’t know you were his ex too” you chuckled at his answer, of course he didn’t. You never met  the young boy when you and Jaehyun dated, you’ve met his sisters and his mom but you never got the chance to meet his father and his youngest sibling. 

“That was a long time ago, you were probably still in middle school when we dated”

“He moved out of our house during his third year in college, I never expected he will cause mom wanted him to stay home. But one day he kinda just packed his things then he was out the door. Mom was so mad at him”

The two of you broke up the summer before third year of college, you left for Paris a few weeks before school started. You asked the university to let you go and transfer, which they thankfully approved. 

Then you were on the next flight out. Not a single goodbye said. 

You never heard from Jaehyun after that, you couldn’t bring yourself to ask about him. You had no right to, after what happened. So the story Sungchan told you was new news to you. 

“He really liked the cake by the way, when he came to pick me up yesterday he asked if I could buy him another one”

“It is his favorite flavor” you smiled at the memory. 

Jaehyun may or may not be the inspiration behind the uniquely flavored cake, when you were making the menu for your cafe you couldn’t help but add that selection. Given that not many people will like it but still you wanted to make it, 

“So I’m not fired right?”

“No, I might have to ask Jungwoo about the salt incident though”

“No matter what he say, he was partly at fault” 

This was honestly the last place you thought you’ll be at. You must look so silly right now, standing in the lobby of a corporate building in your sundress holding  cake boxes while the receptionist stares you down. 

“I’m sorry miss but I can’t just let you go up without an appointment”

“Okay uhm can I talk to someone that I give this to and take it upstairs?” you asked, gesturing at the boxes you brought

“Sorry we don’t allow solicitations” she smiled at you, but you know she was pretty annoyed at you. 

You were just about to give up when you hear someone call your name, 

“Y/N? Is that you?” 

“Hi, Jess” you smiled back at her, “You brought a gift?” she asked, nodding at the box

“Yea, one of them is for you actually. It’s kind of late for your birthday but I thought you might like it” 

Jessica smiled at you before taking the box and linking one arm around yours, the receptionist long forgotten. 

“Let’s go upstairs, come on” then she whisked you away. When you got the elevator, the two of you made small chats. She was talking about how the designers loved the photos you took during the shoot,

“You should do it again sometime”

“It’s just a hobby now, really” you smiled at her suggestion, you did major in photography for the first two years in college but after moving schools, you decided to change majors too. Culinary was still hard to do, but you enjoyed every second if it. It was also a good thing that you were just as good with a camera as you are with a whisk. 

“And let me guess, that one is for Jae” Jessica nodded at the box you were holding

You were about to say no but you both know that wasn’t the truth so you just laughed, “You know after you he never really dated anyone seriously. Chunga is a great girl and yet they never worked out. It’s like he already knew it wasn’t going to, no one was like you so why try”

“I don’t think he actually thinks that” you mumbled, “Just accept it, my brother is still very much smitten with you. He’s just trying to act all tough because he doesn’t want to get hurt again” she shot you a smile. 

The two of you stepped out the elevator, you just followed Jessica since you’re not really sure where she was going

“I’m sorry” you know saying those words will never suffice but you still say it anyways. 

“Don’t say sorry to me, you didn’t do anything wrong to me. And to Jaehyun too, just be gentle with him” she shot you that sisterly smile

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me, can you give this to him though?”

“Why don’t you give it to him yourself?”

“That’s not really a good idea, I don’t want to ruin his day”

“Believe me, you’ll be the best part of his day” she said as she open the door to her office you assume. She gestured for you to come in first, so you did. 

When you turned around you almost lost your grip on the box you were holding, 

“Okay, can’t say I walked right into that one” you mumbled, hearing a chuckle from Jessica who was standing behind you

“Enjoy” Jessica says from behind you before closing the door. 

Jaehyun almost didn’t go to work today. Yesterdays revelations were too much to take in, of course it didn’t go down without an argument between him and his mother. Plus you were there and you looked like you just wanted to get away from him again, but you stayed rooted at your spot. 

The two of you didn’t exchange any words besides an apology you muttered on your way out the door. He really thought that was the last of you he’ll see.

And now you’re here. In his office. He almost pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming right now because if he’s being honest it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve appeared in his dreams.  

“What brings you here?”

“Uh, I’m not sure?”

“You’re not sure?”

“I didn’t think this far ahead”

He can’t help but chuckled at your expression. You were still standing awkwardly by the door, looking around his office. 

“You know you can come closer, I don’t bite. Unless-”

“Okay don’t continue that sentence” you said as you walk towards his desk, putting the cake carefully on his table

“What’s this?”

“An apology gift”

“So you’re bribing me now” okay ouch.

He must have noticed the change in your expression because he quickly added, “I didn’t mean it like that”

“No no, it’s fine”

Then it was silent, not the awkward type of silence. You weren’t sure where to look so you just looked down at your feet, you hear a chuckle from Jaehyun

“What?”

“Just yesterday you were close to tears and now you’re here bringing me cake”

You smiled gently at his words, taking a deep breath before speaking again

“It was like a weight lifted off of my shoulder, at least now I don’t have anything to hide from you. There’s no monsters hiding in my closet or something like that. I don’t expect you to forgive me and forget about it. But I do want to fix this, the least I could do is make up for the wrongs that I did”

“Was it wrong?”

“I took your mom’s money, the money that she gave me to break up with you. She pretty much paid me”

“You said it yourself you never touched a cent”

“I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. It wasn’t worth it”

“Wasn’t worth what?” Jaehyun asked, he wasn’t why he did or what answer he wanted to hear from you but he asked anyway

“It wasn’t worth totally losing you. I knew if I used it then that meant I agreed with your mom. I only did what I did not because of the money but because I wanted you to be free from the burden you were feeling. She was never going to let us be if we continued dating, so I just took the money and disappeared”

He didn’t expect you to be this truthful and open about it, but then again you never really lied to him. He knew you like the back of his hand, even after all these years. There was no use to lying if it’s with him, he'll just see right through you.

“You could’ve said goodbye”

“You would’ve known then, you would’ve stopped me from going then we both wouldn’t be where we are now” You answered,  this time there were no screams, no anger no sadness. 

“Are you happy?” he asked

“Yes, it wasn’t always like this. There were a lot of hard days, now I’m just glad I got through all of that” you answered with a smile, you look over at him to find him already staring at you. “Are you happy, Jaehyun?” you asked him

“I can be”

As he said those words he also held your gaze, looking like he was staring right through you. This wasn’t the Jaehyun you’ve talked to previously, the one that was always angry and throwing words at you. This was just Jaehyun, the Jaehyun you used to know. 

But then again he isn’t. He has changed so much in the past five years, as you have. Maybe you two were tossed together by fate at the wrong time, and it ended badly. But here you are now. 

You’re not expecting a second shot at love with him, it wasn’t your time then so who call tell it is now? you were willing to gamble again but this time you both were too scared to lose. To hurt to ever risk falling again. Happiness is pretty much what all you want for him. 

He deserves to be happy, even if it meant you had to end what you had in order for him to start again. 

[babychoko]

🎀𝔽𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕡𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤🎀

Part 10

Note: Sorry, I had to reupload this.

A few years earlier, in the late nineties....

Yeah, maybe I should start the first sentence that way. Or maybe not. It makes me feel old. Sorry, but I'm totally reminiscing about the dumbest memories. Like when I was in 5th grade and tried to sneak my mom's expensive makeup to school with me. I wanted to look fabulous, but my mother was not of the same opinion and prevented this. Or when I wanted to play a card game with Fischl and Bennett in the playroom of our school in peace, but Xingqiu and Hu Tao kept blasting a stupid part of a CD loudly, which was confiscated. This was in the late 6th grade.

It was about 4 boys who played detectives and wanted to solve a case in a catwalk. When the models started their catwalk, the background music on this CD was very questionable. I'm wondering what the makers were thinking of running weird pop music with some weird sounds as background music. Hu Tao and Xingqiu seemed to find this totally hilarious, though, and repeated this one part at full volume on purpose. They knew exactly what they were doing. No question about it.

I have to admit that I had to grin at first. Still, it soon got in the way of playing. At some point, Ms.Ningguang came into the playroom and immediately asked them to hand over this 'naughty' CD. I can imagine that at some point she ran out of patience and was annoyed. After all, her office at the time was located in front of the school's playroom and no school employee was going to put up with something like that, having to listen every second. The two of them almost got into mega trouble, had they owned that CD. Lucky that our school logo was on it. Mrs.Nigguang looked at the cover of the CD in confusion, gave a sigh of relief, and finally told them to please listen to something else. And if they put the player on full volume again, that she will confiscate it as well. Then she disappeared into her office.

Right from that moment, those two ruffians appointed her as a killjoy. Especially Xingqiu found that.

But that's also a whole other story. Yes, yes. Me and my stories. After all, I wanted to tell how close we all became friends. And of course how Xingqiu and I met.

I still don't know how I was going to start. So I try not to go into the most specific details. Maybe.

At that time, I used to participate in spelling bee competitions in our year. And not to brag, so far I always won the first place. At first I didn't want to, but many from my class encouraged me to participate. And at some point I even enjoyed it. But it became painful when people associated me with it. Again and again, everyone was sure that I would end up as the winner. However, I always tried to dismiss it, saying that one would never know.

But this brought nothing.

At one competition I was knocked out of the throne. Another boy won and I did not win this time. But I got the consolation prize. A small bag of sweets. I was satisfied with that until I was pitied by many students and whether I was not sad not to have won this time. As a young student with little self-confidence, this used to hit me. I looked at the little winner with blue asymmetrical hair who was descending the stairs of the stage after the award ceremony. It was now cleaned up.

In his hand he held a gift certificate to a bookstore. You could buy 3 whole books with that!

Maybe I had to wait until my birthday to get my books after all.

He then pointed curiously at my bag. "Are you happy with that?"

No way was I going to stand there feeling sorry for myself. "Of course I am!" He then looked at his gift card. "Huh, if that's the case." I nodded with pride and looked at him.

"Then we don't need to exchange. Yet books are so much better! Candy just makes you stupid. Look, you're already holding them. It starts with stupidity and it's already showing on you. Do you really want that?"

I may have been dramatic before, but that stupid statement meant war to me.

"Jerk!" I spat and stomped off. I left the little boy with rosy cheeks confused behind me.

If only I had known then that he actually really wanted the candy and not the gift certificate. Therefore, his master plan was to bad mouth my consolation prize with the hope that I would get scared silly and trade with him right away. He was very rarely allowed to get any candy at home. And books? He had enough of those at home.

Oh boy... I tease him with that memory to this day. It's way too funny to leave out when meeting others!

Who would have thought that from then on we would bicker. Still, we spent time together because I was friends with Chongyun. The two of us were fond of ghost stories. Besides, I knew Bennett and Razor back in 1st grade. We sat next to each other and shared our crayons. Through that, the two of them got to know my friend group. And that's how we became five.

Somehow we got along..despite disagreements. This proved itself as we played with each other as children.

"Can't I choose a game this time? You always get to decide." I whined, jumping off the jungle gym. "I don't feel like rolling around in the mud and my mommy is giving me trouble for it!"

Bennett shrugged. "You're right. What should we play?" I started to smile. Xingqiu rolled his eyes. "Here it comes."

"Be quiet. I want to play house." Some of them groaned hopelessly. "Again? You wanted to do that last time..." Chongyun muttered. He never liked his role.

I pointed to Razor. "You're our dog who disappears every three days and can do flips. You like to eat fish."

"As your dog, I would even disappear forever..." Whispered Xingqiu to himself, but which I heard. I ignored him.

Then I assigned Bennett his role. "You are my fourth husband. But instead of working, you're a househusband who likes to knit."

"But what happened to the previous ones?!" He asked anxiously. His red cheeks quickly disappeared as he realized what I was saying. I left that question unanswered for him. He asks too many questions.

Then I looked at Chongyun. "And you're my baby, okay? You can't walk yet and I still have to feed you my milk."

"Let me be an exorcist instead!" He was tired of having to play the baby. But he was the smallest of us in height and is the youngest. I thought it was cute how rosy his cheeks were and how big his clothes were. His auntie was sure he would grow into it eventually. He did after his growth spurt.

"Then you'll be a baby chasing away evil spirits." Now he should have no complaints.

"And you Xingqiu...uh..are our fisherman. Every day you have to separate stinky fish from the fresh ones. Besides, you're old and you've never been married. You were even ready to marry your super express boat but he even rejected you. As a result, you had to buy a new boat and became a poor wretch-"

Immediately he objected. "That's completely stupid! Why do I get a foolish part? Marry a boat?! Where do you get ideas like that! Let me be a bookseller or a hero instead."

"Then you save us from the stinky fish." I remained adamant.

"Maybe he can play your husband this time?" Bennett suggested. He was probably afraid of what would become of him. I raised an eyebrow.

"Then she would be divorced for the fifth time." Gave Xingqiu annoyed, crossing his arms.

Well, too bad for him. Let him remain a fisherman.

Now I presented myself. "I am a famous and busy mommy, studied uh... four times and got many jobs. Moreover, I live with my husband in a normal apartment with an elevator. Our neighbors, on the other hand, are dull. Now let's begin."

It started with me coming home after work. Bennett informed me that our dog had run away again and that our child would not stop crying. For that, Razor had to hide in a bush and dig, which he liked, and Chongyun had to howl loudly and rub his eyes while doing it. He didn't want to do that at all, or Xingqiu would laugh at him for the rest of his life. I didn't blame him at all and had been understanding even at the grandiose age of 10. Who would have thought.

"Wife, I cooked today. Our son will not starve." Started Bennett and presented me sand ball, served on a wooden platter. He was trying to be a great husband. "Good, but he's just a baby! He can't eat this yet."

I tried to carry Chongyun. But because I wasn't big and strong enough, he had to walk with me. I sat him down on a rock. After that, I turned to Xingqiu once and made sure he was playing his role accurately in the harbor.

He was annoyedly knocking stones against each other and looked totally pissed off. As long as he doesn't make any more snarky comments, that's fine with me. After all, he didn't want to play my husband, so he'll have to settle for this role.

"Heyhey, what are you playing?" Hu Tao was bored and wanted to play along. Explaining our roles to her, she almost laughed herself to tears. "And what interesting role do I get? Give me one!"

"You are the rich and cool aunt. Married 3 whole times, but not divorced. I have to feed Chongyun now, but my agency called. They need a model and they need it now."

"You have to go now?" Bennett, my husband, asked. I nodded and turned to Hu Tao. "So you have to feed my baby now. He needs his milk or he'll starve to death." Little Chongyun definitely didn't seem to want her as his aunt.

"Hmm..okay!" It ended up with Chongyun screeching all over the schoolyard as she tried to feed him. I completely forgot to say that he prefers to drink milk from the bottle and not the other. However, I had to go to the agency, I turned to Xingqiu with a sigh. "Then your second role is our chivalrous hero..." It didn't take a second for Xingqiu to cast aside the stones and try to rescue Chongyun from his crazy aunt.

But when Xingqiu tried to remind Chongyun, he pretended that he couldn't remember. I think this is another reason why he dislikes Hu Tao. Who would want to remember it voluntarily...

But enough with the toddler memories. Now there was a little taste of how badly I got along with him, even though it wasn't always that way. We still invited each other to birthdays and read together.

At some point you grow up a bit and the childish quarrels come to an end. However, I had mixed feelings before that.

As I mentioned, I became really friendly with Xingqiu from 8th grade on.

One day, I got a very disappointing grade for a class assignment. I studied so much for it and tried hard. And still the final grade was not good. I didn't want to go home right away. So I went to the school library and tried to calm down. I hid in the far corner and sat on a bench. All I wanted was calm before the storm, or as they say. But if I had been found like that, it was clear that something was wrong with me.

And I was found like that. By him.

"Are you crying?"

"No..If you're looking for Fantasy, it's not here anymore. Keep looking at the front."

"But you have red eyes and they are very wet." What did he care if I cried? He must have better things to do.

"Do you want me to have dry eyes? You know that kind of thing is not good." I pressed the class paper with the bad grade further on my lap and didn't look at him. "I'll be fine on my own."

"You always help us, don't you? Why can't you be helped?"

"Xingqiu, I'm sure you won't understand..."

"I already can't understand it because you don't explain it to me. Maybe I can help you?"

Completely abandoning what was in my power, I handed him my class assignment. He flipped through it and looked at the score.

"Does that happen a lot in this subject? You have a great teacher..." He stated sarcastically.

"Lately, yes. Ever since we got a teacher change. But my parents don't want to understand. More like my dad."

"But as long as you're getting on.."

"No, it's not like that. My dad is very critical in something like that. And with a grade like that in this subject, I'm not going to get ahead after all."

"Because of just one grade?"

"Yes. See? It's hard for you to understand something like that. You always get excellent grades, especially orally. Yet you babble some nonsense with foreign words and overwhelm the teachers..." Immediately, Xingqiu laughed and gave me back the class work.

"I have to agree with you there..ahaha. Hey- how do you even know that?"

I sniffled and rubbed my eyes once. "Your classroom door was open when I walked by. It just so happens that it was your turn. I heard everything. Anyway, I would never have taken you on as a teacher again and just given you your A's."

He cleared his throat "But now back to the subject...honestly, I get you."

I must have looked at him very stupidly, because Xingqiu sat down next to me.

"Your dad never shows any satisfaction with what you do either, right? No matter what."

"Yes, that's true."

"My father is like that too. I have to hide my real hobbies. Especially how I really am."

"Even though you're super at school?"

"I wouldn't say super, but yeah..." Oh boy, you're modest. But I didn't know then that he had to pretend even at home. That must be very stressful.

"What would your dad say if you wrote a good grade now?"

"He'd say it's supposed to be this way and nothing else."

"You see? Then it makes no difference! Then they are always dissatisfied. You have to study for yourself and not put pressure on yourself."

But if it were so easy not to put pressure on yourself. He took a cloth from his pocket and dabbed the tears from my cheeks with it. "Let's go over the issues together. At least then he'll know it's important to you, okay?"

"A-All right..."

We sat down at a table and looked over the topics together. He gave me the tasks and some that he came up with on his own. Finally, he looked at what I wrote down. "But don't laugh at me, okay?"

"I won't do that! Let's see..."

For a while, Xingqiu was silent and frowned. I told you that I had become bad at this subject!

"All right..." He muttered. Huh..what?

"Show me!" I looked closely at the answers and was speechless. Xingqiu, on the other hand, just smiled.

"See? You can do it. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and don't let a teacher's evaluation affect you."

After school, I met with him at the library. He showed me better tactics on how to handle complicated questions and how I could improve my sentence structure. Since then, my grade actually improved in that subject. You could say that he was a hero.

I realized with time that we were not completely different. We had the funniest sleepovers (when there were no pranks) and experiences camping as a group. And when it came to letting me style them, they didn't deny it. They all ended up with pretty hairstyles- and painted nails. But I had to promise not to take pictures of them and not to tell a soul. But inside I knew they liked it and enjoyed it.

What I didn't expect in life at that time was that I developed romantic feelings for Xingqiu. Because we were nice to each other and more mature? No, at least not that. Then I would have fallen in love with anyone after all....

Never would I have been interested in a romantic relationship and I was too proud for that.

But one night...

They just came.

I had a dream in 10th grade that I had to go to class in the school hallway. I walked through the crowd and excused myself.

At that moment, I walked past Xingqiu. There he was standing with the other school representatives. My gait slowed down and I looked at him.

His gaze turned to me. As he did so, he gave me a smile. My heart was pounding in my dream. It was even as if my heart had opened.

Shortly after that I woke up and was amazed by this dream for the rest of the day. Because those wild pounding heartbeats didn't stop when I was near him. When we talked, it was as if I had forgotten how to talk. I talked to him less and became more reserved. It had even delighted me when he noticed that I wore a different hairstyle or hair accessories.

I even perceived that he was no longer the little boy of those days. He became more decent, his smile more charming and his face more beautiful every day.

But what I didn't perceive was that Xingqiu's behavior in my presence was changing.

If you remember, those were the little gestures with the quotes in my books, for example.

When I told Xingqiu how my feelings came about, he had to laugh. He didn't think that I had started to love him in a dream, of all things. Maybe he was disappointed that he didn't make it in real life? But I think that maybe these feelings have always been there.

It may be that my dream helped to realize the feelings.

But I also found his reason hilarious.

Xingqiu said that he noticed a change in my behavior back then when I asked him. He first had an inkling that I had a crush on him. But he didn't want to sit on his high horse and look at how I behaved in contrast to before, for example, when he put an arm around me.

In the past, as a little girl, I most likely would have given him a nasty stare or a smack.

But instead, when I immediately became quiet and shy, it made something inside Xingqiu. He thought to himself, "Ouh." I laughed my head off at that statement!

He couldn't believe that I, of all people, liked him in a different way and valued my feelings.

Oh well, that's why all those hints from him didn't resonate with me, he just kissed me after the party so I would finally get it. I probably would have still been dense had he confessed to me verbatim.

I told him that such a gesture was a very high risk. He could have gotten slapped in the face or something.

But his answer was only that he was absolutely sure about me.

..

He had a point there.

Anyway, those were some of our fond memories. I could think about it for hours and tell you more, but that would surely seal my lips.

Because it's late at night now, but I can't sleep. I turned once to the other side and sighed.

I would definitely be happy if we could share more memories together.

All of us, together as adults to elders. Not just as children or teenagers.

Oh, how I wished for that.

But yes, maybe you have to break some habits and grow older on your own. Maybe in a different way, with other people.

The time is approaching when we will all go our separate ways.

And maybe I will experience a heartbreak shortly after.

Masterlist

Part 11

[eijiroukiriot]

first sentence game!

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have fewer than 20, just list them all!) from oldest first. see if there are any patterns. choose your favourite opening line.

@hiuythn tagged me in this a million years ago!! and i’m just getting to it now as a way to procrastinate/ease into writing for the day!! but ty much love! 

starting with - 1. fly me to the moon

Some people say that Bakugou has no filter.

2. Sympathy Flowers

The hardest part, for Eijirou, is that he had to hear it from the news.

3. Middle School Nickname

It’s a miracle that the diner hasn’t banned them by now.

4. Navillera

Kyouka always claimed her car was a junker, mostly citing the engine that never stopped rattling, but Mina doesn’t truly believe her until she sees a cassette player where the radio should be.

5. it’s really good to hear your voice

Every night when they go to sleep, the bedroom is dark.

6. the after

Tsubomi doesn’t remember how many times she died, but her bones do.

7. once for me

Everything that’s happening is happening in the middle of the room - the talking, the laughing, the exchanging of gifts and singing of Christmas carols.

8. lightning in a bottle

Eijirou hears the host call out his name and for half a second he mistakes the ringing in his ears for his morning alarm.

9. every little bit (helps the fire burn) 

Katsuki has a problem, and it’s not that a man with bulls’ horns tried to pick him up from kindergarten the other day.

10. and then he kissed me! 

i. “You got a change of clothes?” 

ii. “Don layf.”

iii. In Katsuki’s mind, most things are black and white. 

iv.  “Katsuki.” 

v. The thought’s been rolling around in Eijirou’s mind for weeks, maybe months, but it’s Kaminari who first says, “Man, Bakugou’s really opened up, huh?” 

vi. There are, and Eijirou has counted, a grand total of only so many times a guy can watch the same four action movie reruns on cable before it gets to you. 

16. Easy as 1-2-3

If you were to ask Izuku what sets his kindergarten class apart from the rest of the elementary schoolers, even the first-graders, his answer would be simple, but sure: their unpredictability. 

and to bring us up to 20, a few opening sentences from wips that have not (yet) seen the light! 

17. Above the couch hangs Katsuki’s least favorite picture.

18. Long before they start dating, Katsuki knows Kirishima is weird.

19. Suzuko knew that Kirishima kid last year, but this year, he’s in her class.

20. Eijirou drives the whole way. 

patterns: i love a simple statement opener!! i feel like 9 times out of 10 when i go to start a story or chapter (or even a scene after a break) i default to “simple statement or two, and then dialogue.” i just like the rhythm of it! funnily enough when i was younger i think i started every single thing i wrote with dialogue, which i think can be really effective if you want the scene to hit the ground running, but i think it reminds me of my old writing too much to usually go for it 

favorite(s): probably 6, 8, and 19!! (19 i like for how it sets up the tone of the scene. i swear it’s better with context) 

this was fun so if you want to try it out consider yourself tagged :)

[eveningstar1516]

Rise Of The Demon King ~ Chapter 1

Rise of the Demon King

Fic: Multi Chapter Paring: MC x Everyone (Mostly Lucifer) Type: Angst with a Happy Ending Total Word Count: 26,758 TW: Major Character Death, Reader gets stabbed with a sword through their chest so..., Abusive Parents, Past Child Abuse, Demon Hunters, Loss of Control Summary: You’ve done it. You’ve finally done it. You’ve managed to anger the demon king. Now you hold your head high as he hands down your sentence. AO3 Portal: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065362

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So I've been meaning to post this on here and I finally am. I'll be posting a chapter a day but the completed version is up on my Ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER 1 - Awakening Day (1,526 words)

It’s been a few years since the exchange program ended. It was such a great success that Lord Diavolo had passed a law allowing inter-realm travel between the Devildom and the Human realm so long as you are approved with the proper paperwork of course. You were one of the few with a special pass to come and go as you pleased while skipping all the procedures. The day you visited was a special day. It had been the day the Demon King “Abandon” would awake from his slumber and return to the throne until he deemed Diavolo fit to rule as a permanent king instead of an heir. After much debate, you convinced your 7 demons to allow you to attend the ceremony. As they were high ranking Lords, they had to be present by Diavolo’s side while you stayed within the crowd with Solomon.

Awakening Day

“So what’s the Demon king like?” you asked the group on your way to the palace.

“Well, we’ve never actually met him. We came to the Devildom while he was still asleep” Satan answered.

“I heard that his aura is so powerful that even if you didn’t know him, which is impossible, that you would both fear and respect him on instinct. It’s rumoured that he is the only being in existence that could possibly challenge the Celestial realm and stand a better chance than we did!” Beel inquired.

“Well if Diavolo got any of his looks from him then he might be one of the most handsome beings in the three realms, after me of course!” Asmo added.

“Remember all of you, King Abandon is not like Lord Diavolo. Lord Diavolo might take enjoyment from your little escapades and shenanigans but His Highness will not tolerate any of that. You are all high ranking Lords, the “Rulers of Hell” I expect you all to behave yourselves and at least try to act the part. That means no inappropriate jokes, going off to steal something, sleeping at inopportune times, constantly snacking, or having your nose buried in a book or console. Our behaviour will reflect on Lord Diavolo and I will not have any of you tarnish it.”

“Oi! We can behave if we want to! Besides this is the King! We’d have to be absolute morons to try and do anything to him!”

“Well Mammon, we’ll just have to keep an eye on you, our moron of a brother,” Asmo said while ruffling Mammon's hair.

“HEY QUIT IT!”

“All of you enough! We will be arriving soon. Remember best behaviour-”

“Alright, Lucifer, you can relax. We’re not crazy enough to invoke the King’s wrath.” Satan said in an attempt to soothe over the eldest concerns.

“Y/N, are you absolutely sure you will be alright with Solomon?”

“Yes, Lucifer I’m sure. I’ll stay right next to him the entire time. I promise.”

With that, we arrived to see Solomon and a few other high-ranking Demons waiting outside the palace courtyard to be allowed in. Upon seeing us, Solomon walked over, extending greetings to each of the brothers before turning to me. Before he could do anything I gave him a big hug.

“How’s my favourite wizard?”

“Hehehe, nice to see you too Y/N. Are you ready to see the King?”

“Yes! I’m so excited. Reading about him just isn’t enough. Have you ever met him?”

“No of course not! I’m not that old!” Solomon replied between laughing breaths.

“We will be heading inside to meet with Lord Diavolo before the ceremony. I trust that you will keep Y/N safe right, Solomon?”

“Of course Lucifer. I love them as much as you guys do. Besides if I don’t you’d all just kill me and I for one enjoy my life.”

With that, the brothers bid me goodbye turning to head into the palace leaving me and Solomon waiting with the other demons for the ceremony to take place.

A little while later, the courtyard is packed with demons and sorcerers of all ranks, waiting to welcome their king back.

“Nervous?”

“A little but who wouldn’t be? I just hope that things won’t change so drastically now that the king is ruling instead of Diavolo.”

“I won’t be so sure, from what I’ve heard, he rules with an iron fist and is much harsher than Diavolo when it comes to his court. As Diavolo’s right hand, Lucifer will be very busy in the upcoming days. I imagine he will be even more stressed making sure his brothers stay in line.”

“Wow, you didn’t need to dump everything on me all at once…”

“It’ll be alright, you’ve handled worse, this’ll be easy in comparison. As long as you don’t anger him or anything like that.”

“Trust me, I don’t plan on doing any of that. Although things never go as planned for me huh?”

“No, they usually don’t do they?” he answered with a chuckle.

Before I could answer, we heard what sounded like fanfare and the crowd quickly quieted down. At the front of the courtyard stood Lord Diavolo in his demonic form with Lucifer at his right and Barbatos at his left also in demon form. The rest of the brothers and a few other high ranking elders and demons stood behind in their demonic glory in accordance with their rank. Diavolo then addressed the crowd.

“Denizens of Devildom! Thank you for coming out today to welcome my father His Highness King Abandon back to the Devildom. I will not keep you here so without further wait, HIS HIGHNESS KING ABANDON OF THE DEVILDOM!” As soon as Diavolo introduced his father, a tall dark man resembling Diavolo stepped up from the shadows in his full demonic glory. His demon form surprisingly simple and modest but still elegant enough to be fit for royalty. His horns unlike Diavolo’s curve upwards from the side of his head and onto the top forming a crown-like shape with gold swirling around it and admonishing the tip. His eyes like golden lava glowing in the lighting and you were convinced that he could set anyone ablaze with just his eyes and little thought. His upper body much like Diavolo’s is full of tattoos symbolizing his royal status. He brandished 4 large black leather wings with golden tips and blood-red accents. While he didn’t have a multitude of accessories like his son, the few he wore complimented his attire greatly making him look even bigger and more regal. He presented an aura that screamed for you to have the utmost respect when in his presence. As if on instinct, everyone present immediately bowed down taking a knee with their hands on their hearts along with those on stage. The kings’ eyes swept over the crowd taking in the different ranks all present for today when you felt a gaze settle on you, the only non magical born human here. I didn’t dare to raise my gaze or move, keeping my head down and as still as possible until I felt his gaze avert from my figure. Sensing my tension, Solomon risked a glance towards me without moving his head and I returned it with a slight smile to try and reassure him that I'm alright.

“RISE!”

At once, all that were present stood at once. Those on stage adopting a soldier-like pose with their hands behind their back, expressions betraying nothing. If this were any other situation, I would've sent them a smile and thumbs up. I wasn't used to seeing them like this and was impressed by their behaviour; though now was not the time for that.

The king then started addressing the crowd. Taking the opportunity, I studied him a little closer; never meeting his eyes and keeping my gaze as respectful as possible. During his speech, he raked his eyes across the crowd and would rest his gaze on mine more than once. Each time he did, I suppressed a shudder as his gaze looked like he was picking me apart and looking right through me. Solomon sensed my discomfort and squeezed my hand to assure me that he’s got my back should something happen. After he finished, everyone bowed their heads with their hands over their hearts as he left the stage along with everyone on it by ranking order. Soon after he left, everyone buzzed back to life talking among themselves about their king and leaving to get ready for the ball happening that night in honour of the king. As Solomon and I were leaving, Barbatos appeared by our side.

“Hello Y/N, Solomon”

“Hello Barb, is everything alright?”

“Yes, all is well. The king requests your presence is all. I’ve been sent to get you.”

“Oh,” I felt a pit form in my stomach. I’ve never interacted with royalty other than Diavolo and I didn’t know how to act when it came to the king.

“Alright. Sorry, Solomon, I’ll see you tonight right?”

“Of course. See you tonight.”

With that, he said his goodbyes to both Barbatos and I, then left. I took a deep breath and followed Barb into the palace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[chalabrun]

hinata: a deep dive (meta)

As it can be expected, many girls in Naruto have development that often takes some number of deep dives to find. Hinata is certainly no exception to this rule, but with this meta, my hope is that I can suss out some of that hidden development and her accomplishments and list them here.

Hinata: A troubled past

As many of us know from canon, Hinata's past was troubled and fraught with difficulties. 

Ch. 102, when Hiashi is engaging the toddling Hinata in a spar and manifesting bloodlust during.

Ch. 78, wherein Hinata is officially disinherited from the main branch heirdom. 

Growing up as the main heiress of the Hyuga clan, and eldest daughter of the main branch head, Hinata was under tremendous pressure from her father to exceed. Compared to even her younger sister, her junior by five years, Hiashi looked down upon her. In chapter 102, in the above panels, it could even be implied that Hiashi was enraged by her, pushing a young Hinata to the point that her uncle Hizashi tried to interfere, but was punished for it when he activated the clan's juinjutsu.

Yet, this wasn't the only hardship Hinata faced. 

Ch. 102

When Hinata was three years old, while Kumogakure's Head Ninja had been visiting Konoha on matters of diplomacy at the declaration of an armistice between both villages, she was almost kidnapped by this self-same ninja. What would eventually be known as the Hyuga Affair in Kumogakure would result in Hizashi dying in exchange for acting as Hiashi's body double as to satisfy the then nullified demand for Hiashi and his Byakugan that the clan's juinjutsu destroyed in Hizashi upon his death.

First Databook, Head Ninja of Kumogakure (Scan & Translation)

This would go on to lead to a whole host of issues between Hinata and Neji that notably came to light during the Chunin Exams.

Ch. 78, where Lee explains it in more detail.

As we learn from the exposition of others in chapter 78, not only was there existing turmoil between the main and cadet branches, but that it manifested in the rookies' generation as Neji and Hinata's one-sided conflict; of Neji blaming the main branch for both his father's death and being consigned to being a proverbial slave to the main branch.

Ch. 80

And as Neji would go to to explain, all of the former would result in a girl bent and bowed by both the immense pressure of her clan, the strain of conflict in her own family, and the high expectations she couldn't yet meet. Neji even went on to describe it all in visceral detail during their preliminary fight.

Ch. 78

As we can see from chapter 78, Neji manages to ruthlessly disseminate Hinata's character just by examining her body language and reflecting on her past, and while much of it seems brutally true, it doesn't mean that it's the whole truth, either.

Hinata: Growing from her pain

Despite all the clear hardship that Hinata faced, that doesn't mean she did nothing to grow. As we come to see in much the same arc, she faced these challenges in her own way.

Ch. 79

Despite all the brutal things Neji said to Hinata, it wasn't enough to kill her confidence. Or, her courage and resolve to keep enduring. And, damn does she endure.

Ch. 79, when they engage in close, melee combat.

Ch. 79, when Kurenai reflects on the beginning of Hinata's changes.

Something I see criticized often about Hinata is that she's a hopeless fangirl much in the way Sakura supposedly was over Sasuke. However, something I think that should be clarified is that, coming from a nigh abusive home life that she did, Naruto was her source of hope. And frankly, I don't think it's a deficit to her character at all. Naruto helped inspired her, and her growth showed because of it.

Ch. 79

As shown near the fight's climax, Hinata keeps standing up and trying to fight despite how seemingly hopeless the situation is. Even though Neji had debilitated her with severe injuries, some borderline fatal, she kept relenting because of her admiration and inspiration she found in Naruto. 

Ch. 98

And as it would show in the period after Hinata's recovery, she made the full extent of her admiration known; and in doing so, she speaks not as some obsessive fangirl, but a downtrodden girl thanking her greatest source of inspiration so she could rise above it. Something I don't think makes her obsessive at all.

But as the series would continue on, the fruits of this growth shows the most in the second part.

Hinata: The lioness of the Hyuga Clan

As the future would come to prove, Hinata did grow into the inspiration that Naruto gave her, enough to do the impossible and attempt to save the boy she loved from an impossibly powerful enemy.

Ch. 437, when Hinata faced off against Pein, one of the most powerful villains in the series after the likes of Madara, Obito, or Kaguya.

But, it went beyond that. 

Ch. 540

Ch. 632

Ch. 526

As demonstrable throughout the war arc, by both her clan's reacceptance of her and fighting alongside Naruto, Hinata showed just how far she was willing to take a shared ideal in order to fight at the side of the one she loved and admired more than anything, that inspired her to be strong and endure.

Now, in terms of complete strength and excelling as a kunoichi, this brilliant meta by silalcarin proves that Hinata excelled in other ways, even more than her utterly gifted cousin, Neji.

Hinata: What the databooks say

Village: Konohagakure

Rank: Genin

Ninja Registration Number: 012612

Birthday: December 27 (12 years old, Capricorn)

Height: 147.cm Weight: 37.9 kg Blood type: A

Personality: Shy, withdrawn

Favourite Food: Hors d’oeuvres, cinnamon rolls

Least favourite food: Crab, prawn

Interests: Pressed flowers

Graduated from Ninja Academy at age 12

Currently undertaking the chuunin examination

Mission Experience

D-rank: 5

C-rank: 3

B-rank: 0

A-rank: 0

S-rank: 0

Statistics

Ninjutsu: 1.5

Taijutsu: 2.5

Genjutsu: 1

Intelligence: 2.5

Strength: 1

Speed: 2

Stamina: 1.5

Hand Seals: 2

Total Ability: 3

Latent Potential: 4

Luck: 2

Hinata’s fighting ability was found lacking by the Hyuuga Clan. But her latent potential is quite conspicuous, so development is to be expected in the future.

“Because… This is my Nindou too”

The kind and gentle dancing fighter with feelings for Naruto

Although she is a heir to the renowned Hyuuga Main House, she is full of compassion, and dislikes competition and fighting: such is Hinata’s personality. Currently, her father has given up of her, and she is assigned to difficult missions as a Genin. Even being in that dire situation hasn’t broken her, she hasn’t lost that kindness of hers, and that’s because Naruto was there, inside her heart. And now, Hinata is strengthening herself, soundly and steadily.

Hinata is a shy and withdrawn person who can’t do anything in front of her dear Naruto. Something she’s been constantly wishing to change about herself.

Timidity and hesitation, unease and nervousness… An ebbing and flowing love story

[Attack]

Hinata is in love with Naruto, but regardless, she can’t take a step forward. However, she’s able to pluck up her own brand of courage sometimes, as proved by that “attack” of hers. Because that’s her Way of the Ninja…?!

She can’t even look Naruto in the eyes as she hands him the ointment to treat the injuries he’s received during the Chuunin exam, but she’s put all her strength into this…!

[Naruto and Herself]

There’s a definite reason behind Hinata’s passion for Naruto. She wants “to become like him”. Shackled by the strict laws of the Hyuuga clan, and further weakened by her inferiority complex towards her younger sister, Hinata is always seeking strength and power.

Hinata is never assertive about anything, something she tends to hate about herself.

When she was fighting Neji, no matter how many times she was struck down, she would think of Naruto and stand up…!

Hinata admires and esteems Naruto. But he is totally clueless about those feelings.

The one she admires taught her about the courage to stand up!!

Chuunin Exam: Third Preliminary Test

[Her fight against Neji]

The time had finally come to fight against Neji, from the Branch House, and hater of the Main House. Hinata disliked conflict, despite which she fought desperately in order to change herself. But as expected, she was no match for Neji, whom people refer to as the strongest in the Hyuuga Clan. [Missing sentence]

Naruto is throwing taunts at Neji. Hinata is able to draw courage from his cheering…

A scene where she even fights on par with the great Neji. The blood of the Hyuuga also flows is Hinata’s veins!

But she yields before Neji’s Gentle Fist, and gets wounded and beaten down several times over…

Earnest feelings are stronger than any weapon…

- First Databook, Hinata's entry (Scan & Translation)

Village: Konohagakure

Rank: Genin

Ninja Registration Number: 012612

Birthday: December 27 (13 years old, Capricorn)

Height: 148.3 cm Weight: 38.2 kg Blood Type: A

Personality: Shy, withdrawn

Favourite food: Soft bean-jam, cinnamon Rolls

Least favourite food: Crab, prawn

Favourite word: Self-confidence

Interests: Pressed flowers

Graduated from the Ninja Academy at age 12

Promoted to chuunin at age –

Mission Experience

D-rank: 5

C-rank: 3

B-rank: 0

A-rank: 0

S-rank: 0

Statistics

Ninjutsu: 1.5

Taijutsu: 3

Genjutsu: 1

Intelligence: 3

Strength: 1

Speed: 2

Stamina: 1.5

Hand Seals: 2

“I must…do my best too…”

Turn a pure heart into strength…

Hinata passively gave in to everything, but with the support of Naruto’s cheering, she had a fierce battle with Neji, and matured greatly. There is still a lot of her that is not sufficient as the child of the Hyuuga Main House, but indomitable strength is added to her original pure heart, and little by little, but steadily, Hinata progresses ahead… She wishes that she could move even one step closer towards the back of Naruto, her idol…

Hinata, always feeling the same towards Naruto. Will the day come when she can face him directly?

- Second Databook, Hinata's entry (Scan & Translation)

- Third Databook, Hinata's entry (Scans)

Fourth Databook, Hinata's entry (Scans)

Hinata Hyuuga The Sunflower Who Hid Love and Admiration for Naruto in Her Heart, and Bloomed Beautifully

Hinata was born as the eldest daughter of the Hyuuga clan’s main house. Having struggled since childhood with the pressure of being “the next leader of a noble clan,” as well as with her own withdrawn nature, she admired Naruto’s “strength,” and decided to adhere to his nindou. Now, having matured as a shinobi and as a woman, Hinata’s feelings for Naruto cause her to shake… Before: Caption of panel of near-beaten Hinata from chuunin exams: I never go back on my word. Hinata resolves to adhere to the same nindou as Naruto…!! Caption of panel where Hinata uses hakke kuushou against the Juubi: She uses her juuken palm to release air pressure. This is taijutsu handed down by the Hyuuga clan. Caption of panel where Hinata uses hakke rokujuuyon shou: The secret juuken technique “hakke rokujuuyon shou.” She masters it with the courage to step out beyond her limits. “Byakugan” The rare “kekkei genkai” inherited only by the Hyuuga clan. It boasts a 360-degree range of vision and the ability to see clearly for hundreds of meters, and is able to see through opponents’ chakra networks. Caption for sketch of Hinata with activated byakugan: When her byakugan is activated, Hinata’s facial expression becomes sharper. Before: Hinata shows her byakugan in her death match with Neji. Feelings Towards Naruto Since her days at the academy, Hinata has been attracted to the “strength” that Naruto possesses. That admiration eventually changed into the desire to be by Naruto’s side, and also became the source of Hinata’s growing confidence. Before: Caption for panel from chapter 98: He unintentionally leaves her dazed with his impulsive “I like you.” Before: Caption for panel from 615: During the ninja war, Hinata grew into someone who could support Naruto in a predicament and stand as his equal. Art of Hinata Wedding clothes Caption at lower right: Headdress. Her hair is rolled up in a turban-like structure. Middle caption: An Ootsutsuki wedding dress, complete with a veil on her head. Left caption: Hinata wears a skirt while not on a mission.

- Seventh Databook, Hinata entry (Scan & Translation)

Boruto Moviebook, Hinata's entry (Scan & Translation)

Hinata: Databook jutsu files

- Kekkei Genkai, Supplementary, All ranges - User(s): Hyuuga Neji, Hyuuga Hinata

The heritage of the Hyuuga Clan, the white eyes that see through everything!!

The Hyuuga Clan is a distinguished family, and one of Konohagakure’s two brightest jewels, the other being the Uchiha Clan. The Kekkei Genkai that circulates within House Hyuuga is the Byakugan. Upon using Byakugan, the caster sees right through immediate obstacles, even catching a glance upon things situated remotely ahead of them.

But Byakugan possesses an even more astonishing ability. It can also distinguish the inner body’s acupuncture network through which chakra circulates, and the apertures through which it is released outside the body, the tenketsu. Because of that ability, the Hyuuga are praised as the clan which has the most outstanding ability. That said, this is also the reason why they have accumulated tragedies throughout their history…

When Byakugan is activated, it is so powerful it causes the veins around the caster’s eyes to protrude!

How exactly does chakra circulate inside the body…? If one has the power of the Byakugan, even such a thing can be understood just like that, with absurd ease.

- First Databook, Hinata's entry (Scan & Translation)

- Taijutsu, Kekkei Genkai, Offensive, Defensive, Supplementary, Close range - User(s): Hyuuga Hinata

Strong will held in the fists!! Its form is double lion heads!!

A secret high-level Gentle Fist technique, taught only to the Main House of the Hyuuga Clan. By changing the shape of chakra released from both hands, [the user] greatly increases reach and destructive power. The arms become entirely like lions which drain the chakra network of those they touch.

Because it will fail at even the slightest mistake in chakra control, it is extremely difficult to learn this ability, which is a feat that requires the Byakugan.

It can be used to increase the power of Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms.

- Fourth Databook, Gentle Step: Twin Lion Fists entry (Scans & Translation)

Hinata: Full jutsu list & stats, etc.

To add to this, the jutsu part of this list are from more than just the manga; they include the anime, movies, and games!

Jutsu:

Barrage of Gentle Fists  

Chakra Transfer Technique  

Eight Trigrams Aerial Attack  

Eight Trigrams Aiki Palm  

Eight Trigrams Lion Palm  

Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven  

Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven: Sever  

Eight Trigrams Palms Twin Handed Back  

Eight Trigrams Palms Vacuum Heaven  

Eight Trigrams Sect Palm Wave  

Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms  

Eight Trigrams Spirit Sixty-Four Palms  

Eight Trigrams Thirty-Two Palms  

Eight Trigrams Twin Lions Crumbling Attack  

Eight Trigrams Vacuum Lion Palm  

Eight Trigrams Vacuum Palm  

Eight Trigrams Vacuum Wall Palm  

Four-Corner Sealing Barrier  

Gentle Fist Art: Exorcism  

Gentle Fist  

Gentle Phoenix Spiralling Twin Lion Fists  

Gentle Step Spiralling Twin Lion Fists  

Gentle Step Tailed Beast Twin Lion Fists  

Gentle Step Twin Lion Fists  

Gentle Step Twin Palms  

Giant Insect Fang: Sixty-Four Palms  

Hundred Furious Palms  

Hyūga: Great Revolving Heaven  

Hyūga Great Combo Palm  

Mystical Palm Technique  

Palm Bottom  

Protecting Eight Trigrams One Hundred Twenty-Eight Palms  

Protecting Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms  

Water Needle  

White Haze Heavenly Dance  

Wide Healing  

Tools: 

Hyūga Clan Secret Ointment  

Stats: 

Missions completed: 

10 D-rank

14 C-rank

8 B-rank

1 A-rank

0 S-rank

Academy grades:

Taijutsu = A

Cooperation = A

Classroom attitude = A

Ninjutsu = B

Genjutsu = B

Positivity = F 

Closing thoughts

As I've tried to list in detail, Hinata not only has a lot of in-depth characterization, development, and growth as a kunoichi and member of the Hyuga clan, but extreme promise as a character and love interest of the protagonist. Yet, there's far more to her than her relationships, which I hope I've shown here (even though this doesn't even touch on everything, by far)!

[simsadventures]

Not Me: Chapter 2: Domestic Bliss

Summary: You throw a party at your house, and while on the outside you look like the perfect couple, the reality is quite different. Especially after you learn about another shocking truth. But Bucky seems to be shocked as well.

Warnings: angst, pretending, infidelity, hint of jealousy, swearing, betrayal, weight loss

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x wife!Reader

Word Count: 2555

A/N: I promise, all will be explained in a short time. What did we all think? Bucky is an ass, that’s for sure, but maybe there’s something behind his behaviour… who knows? XD FEEDBACK is gold, so please, let me know if you like it, or what was your favourite part :) xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist

< Previous Chapter

You looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed. Where there used to be a happy, confident woman, was now standing an unsure being without shape or form. You always loved the way your boobs looked, having been one of the lucky girls to have their breasts just the right size and shape without undergoing surgery. But since you lost more than 20 pounds over the last year, your boobs all but disappeared.

So did the glow your skin used to have once. You were dull now, and if it weren’t for your hairdresser who tried to keep your hair shiny and healthy-looking, you bet you would like a walking dead. But no matter how much weight you lost, James didn’t seem to care.

It was pathetic to even try in the first place, because he would always mumble something like you’re not gonna get me, and would walk away, leaving you confused and hurt. You thought that maybe he thought you weren’t representative enough for him, so you tried to lose weight. But nothing happened because you were just the right amount of weight.

It came only with the constant heartbreak that you finally lost your appetite, and the pounds started to disappear from the scale.

You shrugged in the mirror and applied another layer of red lipstick to your lips and plastered a fake smile on your face. This would be a long night, you thought to yourself, as you descended the stairs leading to your formal room, aka the torture room, as you liked to call it.

It was there that most of the parties and meeting happened, and because it was your turn to host one of the Y/L/N family parties, you couldn’t even protest. Your whole family would be there, and so was James’.

After what your father told you that day, and the way he’s been acting towards you ever since then, you weren’t looking forward to seeing him. Nevertheless, you couldn’t wait to see two of your three brothers. Not that you wouldn’t see them almost every month, it being your only outlet and your flight towards safety, but their faces and goofy acts always made you smile.

When you saw your oldest brother, Max, you actually smiled at him, and you had to tell yourself not to rush too fast towards him, because it would actually look like you weren’t happy in your current position. The hostess of the party. Ugh!

 You made sure that the caterers brought everything they should and that your home decorator came soon in the morning to put things in their places, but other than that, you couldn’t care less. It was just for a show, just like every other aspect of your life, apparently.

Max waved at you, and you came close enough to squeeze his hand affectionately. He looked you up and down and frowned, but didn’t say anything, being the polite one of the four of you. You wanted to say something, but then you felt somebody hauling you up from your feet and you screamed, not being able to contain yourself.

When you heard a huron laugh from behind you, you let out a chuckle and tapped his hand, signalling that he should let you down. It was the other brother, two years older than you, Thomas.

While Max was a cardio surgeon, Thomas was in the Army. He only recently got sent home from Afghanistan, and you couldn’t get enough of him, missing him like crazy over the past 7 months while he was on a mission.

“I swear to God, you’re lighter and lighter every time I see you, cheerio! You’re almost translucent, what the fuck is going on, huh?”

You just shook your head and put your fake smile on to calm him down so that he wouldn’t make a scene. Your father and James would eat you alive if somebody caused a scene and you wouldn’t be able to shush them appropriately.

“It’s this new diet I’m on, Tom! I thought I looked marvellous so thank you for bursting my little bubble,” you said playfully, hoping that neither of your brothers would see through you. But who were you kidding? You grew up with them, and you were their little sister, of course, they wouldn’t trust you just like that.

They both exchanged looks that said, right but didn’t press the matter for which you were extremely thankful. You looked around the room to see where your husband was, trying to keep up the appearances at least for a while, but you couldn’t find him anywhere. You shrugged and hoped he’d come as soon as possible, because you could see your father’s prying eyes on you, and you didn’t want to give him another reason to scold you.

To get your mind off of things, you looked for your nieces and nephews, Max’s children, so that nobody would ask you unnecessary questions and you could enjoy some time with your family before you had to go and speak with your father. You couldn’t find your mom anywhere, and you could bet she was outside having a cigarette, or 10. It was her outlet in this crazy world, and although you used to give her lectures, you totally got why she started this horrible habit. It even crossed your own mind a few times.

The little ones were having fun on the veranda, and after you greeted their mother, Felicia, you sat on your heels to let the little ones tell you all they needed.

“And auntie Y/N, why is grass green?” “Y/N, I have a boyfriend, his name is Joshua!”

You listened to the 4-year old asking question over his sister’s telling you about her kindergarten’s love, and you smiled to yourself. You loved the two of them, just as much as you loved the two babes in Felicia’s arms. One-year-old twins. Four children were apparently a lot to take in and to take care of, but Felicia was a pro, and you admired her for her patience with your brother because he sometimes acted worse than those kids.

“Shouldn’t you be in there, entertaining your guests with your husband?” You heard your father’s stern voice from behind you, and the hair on your neck stood up. You clenched your jaw, gave Felicia an apologetic smile and went back inside, without as much as looking at your father.

He didn’t like that too much, so he grabbed you by your upper arm, squeezing so much you could feel the blood draining from the limb.

“Don’t you give me this treatment, young lady. How about you put a smile on that pretty face of yours and stop being so sour, huh? Wouldn’t kill you to be pleasant for a day!”

You blinked away the tears welling in your eyes, nodded absentmindedly, which made him release your arm. You looked around the room once more, looking for James, when you saw him leaving one of the guest rooms on the floor ground. You sighed and put on a smile, which fell as soon as you saw another person leaving the room behind James. Her red hair seemed to be the only thing you saw, and you had to try really hard not to vomit at the sight.

It was one of your bridesmaids and great friends (sure), Natasha. They both looked like they either went through a tornado or they fucked each other’s souls out, and your heart fell.

Not only was he making your life a living hell, but he also fucked one of your friends? That was just perfect. You knew that if you saw him, you weren’t the only one, and sure enough, your father made his presence known again

“You can’t even keep a man? Pf, I thought at least that pussy of yours was for something, but I guess I was wrong,” he said mockingly and left you standing there, feeling like you stood under a cold shower.

James turned around the room, greeted a few people he missed due to his escapades before his eyes landed on you. You wanted to yell at him, wanted to throw stuff at him for doing this to you. Why he married you in the first place, you didn’t understand. You didn’t give him even a small smile as you walked towards him, and, for a second, he looked like a deer caught in headlights. That soon passed, and his typical scowl replaced the shock on his face.

When you reached him, and he snaked his arm your waist (which cause you to shudder in disgust, to be quite frank), you leaned in, and with a smile for the other guests of the party, you whispered to his ear,

“You could have at least each left the room in a different time. And you could have made sure you didn’t look like you just fucked one of my best friends, but maybe that’s just me, dear,” you hissed the last part of the sentence as you looked deep into his eyes and without as much as another thought left him standing there, and went to your brothers again.

Not that you wanted to talk to them about it, but you saw the looks on their faces, and you knew they saw the whole thing, from Bucky leaving the room with Natasha to you talking to him. And the looks on their faces were very close to two people ready to murder somebody, so you tried to go and calm them both down. You were just lucky your twin, Adam, wasn’t there, because he would definitely have already acted. And it wouldn’t be nice considering he was an MMA fighter.

“Is he fucking kidding me? I’m going to kill him, Y/N. Like seriously, it will take me one good measured punch, and he’s down,” Tom said, seething, and you patted his shoulder, keeping your fake smile on your lips.

“Don’t. Please, Tom, Max. Suits me for thinking he could actually love me. Let’s just forget about it and act as if nothing happened, can we?”

“Is that the reason you looked the way you do? For fuck’s sake, Y/N. That idiot’s been killing you for over a year, and now he’ll sleep with your friend, to top it all? Has he been beating you too? That why you have the forming bruise on your arm?” Max asked, his temper showing as well.

You looked down to your bare arm and saw that Max was right indeed. There was a bruise already kind of blue from where your father grabbed you minutes ago.

“It’s not like that, I promise. James hasn’t laid his arms on me, I swear. It’s from a pleasant conversation I had with dad a while ago,” you added, knowing that there was nothing your brothers could do about your despotic father.

They were both red from anger, and you didn’t blame them. If somebody treated your brothers the way James treated you, you’d probably tear them to pieces. Or, at least, the old you would. You didn’t know yourself anymore. This meek wife, trying to do as her father and her husband tell her. You were disgusted by yourself but couldn’t see a way out.

Somebody touched your arm, and from the surprised looks on your brothers’ faces, you knew exactly who it was. The fucking audacity of that woman.

“Natasha, to what do I owe the pleasure?” You asked her, so mockingly, you were actually surprised at yourself.

She looked taken aback, but she still laughed freely.

“What? Can’t I come and as hi to my dear friend?”

It was your turn to laugh in her face.

“Aaah. So I guess that’s what you’ve been doing in one of my guest rooms with my husband, then? Saying hi to him? You guys have some special secret handshake? Or did you fuck him after you exchanged pleasantries?”

She looked terrified, and before you could say more, or before she could start stuttering some lame excuse, you felt a hand on your hip, and from the unpleasant reaction of your body, you knew it was your husband. This was hilarious. His wife and mistress talking, and he just casually strode in.

“May I speak with you, Y/N?” James hissed into your ear, and you stabbed Natasha one last time with your eyes before you let James pull you away from the party into the kitchen.

You couldn’t even look at him, you thought you’d vomit if you did.

“What the fuck is your problem, huh? You’ve got everything you wanted, the house, the marriage, the prestige, everything. What more do you want from me?” He said, raising his voice, and you finally turned around to face him, your brows furrowed in disbelief.

“What? What are you talking about, James? You think I asked for any of this? For the hell my life is right now? Oh so great, I’m married to one of the sexiest CEO on the planet, good for me. But guess, what. I never asked for any of this. All I wanted was to take over the publishing part of the company, live in my little apartment, and maybe, maybe fall in love one day with a nice guy who would treat me right.

Did I think it could be you, for a while? Sure, but don’t worry. I don’t anymore. You asked me to marry you. I don’t know what you’re playing at, but at least I try to make this marriage work and don’t go fucking your best friends behind your back. But I guess I ask too much of you, don’t I? Well, excuse me, your excellence. I did everything you told me to. I stopped speaking up, I started cooking like crazy, wearing make-up all the damn time, wearing clothes like I was part of the Gossip Girl extras, just because you told me to. But I will never be good enough for you, will I? I don’t know what you want from me, James, I really don’t, but if we don’t go back to the party now, people will start asking questions we don’t have answers to,” you said, fighting the tears threatening to leave your eyes.

Bucky was watching your, his expression somewhere between surprise and anger. He looked at you, obviously wanting to continue fighting with you before something caught his attention.

“What the fuck is that on your arm?”

You scoffed and walked around him to leave the kitchen.

“Oh, now you care? Please, give me a break. I don’t know what your motives were to marry me if you wanted the whole company to yourself and had a deal with my father or something, but please, stop acting like you are the worried husband, ok? Let’s just get this party over with, and then you won’t have to look at me for weeks, just the way you like it,” you said with a fake smile (Bucky knew that much, that was definitely not a real smile of yours), and left the kitchen, not caring if he followed you or not.

He just stood there, confused and with more questions than with how many he initially came into the kitchen.

/Next Chapter >

Not Me:

@jennmurawski13 @lovely-geek @vogueworthy-barnes @veronawrites @loser-alert @trumpettay @thesoldierrogers @girlbehindthecameraposts @little-smurf @jesseswartzwelder @fuckwhateverfuck @learisa @karla-silva @blowing-mikey @afterlaughter27 @93generation @ungratefultroll @maybeisthemoon @greenprisca @geeksareunique @champagnesugamama @hailqueenconquer @grincheveryday @mc225g @thatweirdwalangpake @neerness @ntlmundy @captainchrisstan @sspider-parker @cap-just-said-language

Bucky Taglist

@this-kitten-is-smitten​ @paradisiacalsparks​ @crazybutconfidentaf​ @owlyannah​ @lassini​ @s-trawberryv-eins​ @reniescarlett​ @bxrnsfeyson​ @the-soulofdevil​

Marvel Taglist

@voltage-my2dlove​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @lumar014​ @ptrs-prkrs​

Forever Tag:

@eileenalone​ @sasbb23​ @p8tn0lish​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @waiting4inspiration​ @caswinchester2000​ @mogaruke​ @justthatfangirloverthere​ @mushyjellybeans​ @livsheph​ @sebbbystaaan​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @itsunclebucky​

[kyber-crystal]

Set Up

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: ~3.3k

Summary: In which the Avengers are relentless in their attempts to get you and Steve together. If this means going great lengths such as sending you off on a mission-disguised romantic getaway to make you realize your feelings for one another, they’ll seize the chance at the very moment it’s presented to them.

Warnings: None. Just tooth-rotting fluff bc I’ve really been needing it ahaha

A/N: Set in an AU 2017 timeline in which they reunite a year after the whole Accords situation so that everyone’s happy :)

"Rogers. Parasite. Stop watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and get up, you need to get to the meeting room ASAP," Tony stated.

"Says the one who leeches off my granola bar supply," you grumbled as you shot him a death glare. "You've been doing this to me since I was a toddler. A helpless, two-year old against a 16 year-old demon always hungry for everyone's food but his own."

"Still holding the Full House cereal incident against me? Geez, woman, do you ever release your grudges against anyone," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Now come on, let's go."

Exchanging a confused look with Steve, you stood up and followed Tony down the hallway to the meeting room, where Fury was with the rest of the team, waiting.

"Captain Rogers, Agent Y/N," Fury nodded curtly. "I presume you know what's going on?"

"No, sir."

"I need you two to track down a group of mercenaries in downtown Tokyo. You'll be flown out commercially so you can maintain a low profile. The whole process should take no longer than ten days," he explained as Natasha handed him the printed out flight details. "Further information will be given to you upon arrival."

"If it's just the two of us, then why is everyone here?" you pointed out.

"Barton and Maximoff will be checking in with you regularly; and if backup is necessary, I will fly one of them out to meet you. If you don't have any more questions, this meeting is now dismissed. You'll be departing late tonight so if I were you, I'd get to packing right about now."

...

Soon enough you were all packed and ready to go. Because you were too lazy to reach back into your suitcase and grab a sweatshirt, you took Steve's Dodgers hoodie and slipped it on, along with a pair of your favorite sweatpants.

"See you in ten days, okay?" Natasha pulled you in for a tight hug. "Make sure to keep Rogers company, it's a long flight. This is also the perfect opportunity to grow closer...literally."

"Oh shut up, Nat," you scoffed. "We're not...you know."

"Sure you aren't."

"Tony, why don't you get some good rest for once," you turned to your brother, "alright?"

"As long as you admit you're in love with Capsicle," he whispered into your ear.

"I can't admit what's not true."

"Yeah yeah, I can't understand bullshit."

"Tony."

"Y/N," he mocked. "Anyway. Have a safe trip, don't die, yada yada yada."

"Yeah yeah, got it."

A few more rounds of goodbyes later, you and Steve were in the elevator with your luggage, heading down to where Phil was waiting to drive you to the airport.

Your flight was scheduled to take off at 1:45 in the morning, and it was close to 11 p.m when you arrived.

"Your tickets, please," the lady asked as you were about to board the plane. You took them out from your purse and handed them over to her. "Thank you."

"How long's the flight again?"

"Uh...about 14 hours. Pretty long," you replied, as you walked down the aisles, looking at the overhead letters for your seat. "24A, 24B...there we go. Wait, have you been to Japan before?"

"No, I haven't."

"You're gonna love it. They have the best, I tell you, best ramen, and curry, hands down. When Nat, Wanda, and I went on our girls' vacation last spring we wouldn't stop eating for two days straight. I know we're tracking down cold-blooded killers and all, but, it won't hurt to let loose a little, you know?"

"Yeah, definitely," Steve couldn't help but smile at how happy you looked while speaking. "You gotta be our tour guide. I'm trusting you'll lead us to the best ramen hotspots?"

"Oh yeah, I will."

After putting your things into the overhead bins, you settled into your seats. The armrest between you could be lifted convert the seats into a double bed, you quickly found out.

Shortly after taking off you felt yourself grow rather tired. Noticing your sleepiness, Steve raised the armrest and pressed the button to make the seats recline backwards, your head immediately falling against his broad chest. He smiled again, brushing stray hairs away from your forehead before pulling the blanket over your bodies and falling asleep as well.

Little did either one of you know, you were being sent off to Japan for a completely different reason that had absolutely nothing to deal with tracking down mercenaries.

...

The smell of food wakes you up several hours later. You stretched your arms up and ran a hand through your hair as you sat up, adjusting your neck pillow.

"Hey uh, how long were we out for?" you asked, voice still thick with sleep. Steve was already awake, in the middle of watching a movie on his TV.

"4 hours. You knocked out for 5. It's time for lunch...or dinner?"

You tapped your screen a few times to pull up the map of your flight's route. "Right now it's 7:30 p.m. in Tokyo. We're arriving at 4:45 in the morning, so I'd say dinner."

"You sleep okay?"

"Hm? Yeah," you yawned, rubbing your eyes and adjusting the sleeves of Steve's hoodie. "You make a good pillow."

"No problem," he chuckled. You then turned to the flight attendant, who handed you your meals.

"Fancy," you nodded in approval as you passed Steve's tray over to him. "First class sure has its perks...oh yes, miso soup."

You binged your way through several episodes of Pretty Little Liars, I Love Lucy, and Star Wars: A New Hope together. Afterwards, you purchased Wi-Fi so you could update the team on your status.

CHATROOM - AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

Natasha: Morning, lovebirds. You guys in the air already?

You: Yeah, we're eating dinner right now. What time is it back home?

Tony: 6:45 a.m. Pulled an all-nighter binge-watching The Office.

Bucky: Totally worth losing an entire night's worth of good sleep.

Y/N: But I still don't get why we couldn't take the Quinjet?

Steve: ^

Rhodey: Do we tell them now, or wait until they land in Haneda?

Wanda: I'd say now.

Pietro: NO NO NO MAKE IT A SURPRISE

Steve: ...What's going on?

Tony: There's no mission.

Y/N: Wait, what? Then what are we going to Tokyo for?

Tony: I purchased a romantic ten-day vacation package so that you two will hopefully realize your feelings for each other along the way. Thank me later.

Y/N: SCREW YOU

Tony: Enjoy eating all the ramen you want!

Natasha: We're so good at matchmaking.

Thor: May I suggest a virtual high-five?

Peter: VIRTUAL HIGH-FIVE :))

Thor: :))

Y/N has left the chat.

Steve has left the chat.

Tony: They're gonna thank me when they see the penthouse I bought.

Tony has left the chat.

"Well, guess we're going on vacation. At least there's more opportunities to eating good food," Steve shrugged.

"Yup." You felt your heartbeat pick up speed at the thought of being alone with him, for ten days, in a country that was considered both futuristic and romantic at the same time. "Plenty of time to eat ramen and sushi."

Deep down, he was glad that there wasn't any mission. And so were you.

You took an hour-long catnap before waking up again and playing a few rounds of Uno with him, then stayed up for the rest of the flight. You both knew you'd regret doing so because of the 13-hour time difference between NYC and Tokyo, but you were too excited to care at that moment.

You were dazed and still slightly tired when you disembarked the aircraft, so you didn't have any energy to question how you and Steve ended up with your fingers intertwined. Besides, you liked the way it felt.

At close to 5 in the morning, Haneda International was relatively quiet and not too busy, so immigration didn't take long. You didn't have to worry about being bombarded by fans, aside from the occasional foreign fan recognizing you two and asking for a quick autograph or picture.

Since you wanted to explore the airport a bit before taking the train downtown, you looked around at the various shops.

Being a former spy alongside Natasha before joining the Avengers, you were fluent in multiple languages, including Japanese, Russian, French, Spanish, and German. And despite having developed the habit of always preparing for what was to come, you were completely shocked hearing a perfect Japanese sentence roll out of Steve's mouth as he spoke to the cashier.

You practically swooned at how smooth his voice sounded.

"Kore wa ikuradesu ka?" He gestured to one of the kokeshi dolls on display dressed in a sapphire colored kimono with cherry blossom embroidery. (How much is this?)

"3500 yen," the lady replied, "Hatsubai-chū, 3000. Kōnyū shimasu ka?" (On sale, 3000. Would you like to buy it?)

"Hai, kōnyū shimasu." (Yes, I'd like to buy it.)

"Kanojo no tame ni?" (For her?)

"Hai." (Yes.)

She nodded, and Steve handed over several folded bills from his wallet after she finished bagging the item.

"Arigato, gokigen'yō," he thanked her. (Thank you, have a nice day)

"Anata modesu," she smiled warmly. (You too)

"Holy crap, you didn't tell me you were fluent in Japanese, Rogers," you gaped as you walked out of the store together. "When did you have the time to learn it?"

"Back during the Pearl Harbor bombing, Buck and I were sent off with the 107th to Hawaii. Figured it'd be useful if we learned a few phrases."

"Few?" you raised an eyebrow at him. "What you just did back there, that was not just a few phrases! That was fluency!"

"What can I say, I pick up on language quickly," he grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. He then handed you the bag with the doll inside. "Here, for you."

"You didn't have to—"

"Consider it my thank-you in advance for taking me to a good eatery," Steve explained.

After grabbing a quick breakfast of coffee and pastries, you took the elevator down to the train station.

You let out a sigh as you sat down, the cool air inside the train loosening the tension in your shoulders a bit. A short fifteen minutes later and you were back in one of your favorite cities in the world.

Steve took a picture of you as you were distracted from looking all around at the skyscrapers and people milling around, face lit up by all the bright and colorful signs, sending it to the chat.

Steve: Just arrived downtown. Got out of the airport half an hour ago.

Tony: Honeymooning Avengers, how cute

Sam: That's hot.

Steve: What time is it over there?

Wanda: We just finished eating lunch. You?

Steve: 7. Going to check into the penthouse. Talk to you guys later.

Wanda: Alright.

Sam: Have fun, lovebirdssssss

Steve has left the chat.

"So," he breathed out as he slipped his hand back into yours and you exited the station, "you ready to go check out where we're staying?"

"Yeah, definitely. You wanna take the subway again, or a taxi?"

"Subway. Actually..taxi. You sound nice when you speak in a foreign language."

"That's the only reason why you want to take a taxi?"

"Yeah, obviously," you scoffed. "I mean, why else?"

"Alright, if you insist," the super-soldier laughed.

A few minutes later, you'd called a taxi over and climbed into the backseat, strapping your seatbelts on.

"Ohayögozaimasu," (Good morning) the man greeted. "Ogenkidesuka?" (How are you) "Īdesu, anata wa?" Steve replied. (Good, and you?)

"Watashi mo jōzudesu. Doko ni ikitai?" (I am good, too. Where would you like to go?)

You looked at your phone, reading out the address of Tony's penthouse to the driver.

A few minutes passed in silence before he spoke up again. "Watashia wa anata-tachi o shitte imasu. Anata wa abenjãzudesu," the driver smiled, glancing at you two from the rearview mirror. (I know you two. You're the Avengers)

"Watashitachidesu," he returned his friendly grin. (We are!)

"Tōkyō ni kuru kikkake wa nanidesu ka?" (What made you come to Tokyo?)

"Chōdo kyūka no tame." (Just for vacation.)

"Nokori no taizai o o tanoshimi kudasai," he said as you were getting out of the car after paying. "Sayonara."

"Sayonara," you and Steve responded before closing the car door behind you.

"Wow," your jaw dropped as you took the elevator up, arriving at the top floor. "Tony actually bought...this...place?"

"Apparently," Steve shrugged, "we could come back and forth between here and the compound as often as we wanted."

The penthouse had a nice, dark aesthetic feel to it, with giant panoramic views of the entirety of Tokyo and modern furniture and spots of dimmed white lights in the ceiling to give off a relaxed vibe.

After unloading your things, you sat down at the giant couch together and decided to plan out the rest of your day.

"When CoCo Curry opens at 11, we can go eat there," you explained as you typed up the plan in a new note. "Tony also snagged us tickets to Tokyo Tower at 3 p.m, so we have a few hours to spare after lunch."

"We can explore the gardens,"  he suggested. "I know you love doing that. There's a botanical garden in Shinjuku we can go to."

"Oh, that one! I didn't have the chance to go last time, so that's perfect," you added 'Shinjuku Gardens' to your list.

Soon enough you had your entire day planned out, and were ready to head out once again.

CoCo Curry was a quaint, little restaurant that hit you with a wave of tantalizing scents as soon as you walked through the doors and sat down at the bar-style seating area where you could watch the chefs cook your food.

"Gonichiwa," you greeted the chef standing behind the counter.

"Gonichiwa," he smiled back. He asked for your orders, and since Steve wasn't sure what to get you had two orders of your favorite dish.

Besides another couple sitting a few seats away, the restaurant was empty so you got your food in under ten minutes. The steaming hot plates of curry rice were set in front of you, and you felt your mouth water as you inhaled the rich aroma.

"This is so good," Steve spoke in between bites. "I'm literally in love."

"Told you I knew my stuff."

You eventually finished eating, and after getting into a small argument with Steve over who would pay (He ended up winning). "It's payback for ordering me good eats," he explained.

"You said that when you bought me the kokeshi doll," you pointed out.

"Still."

This time you decided to go by foot instead of taking the taxi, as the gardens were only a half-hour or so walk from where you were.

"Right in the middle of cherry blossom season," you sighed as the sweet smell of cherries drifted through the air. "Perfect timing."

You walked around the entire place, stopping every so often to admire the various colorful plants or look up at the pastel pink cherry blossom trees, gravel crunching underfoot with each step you took.

The mid-April breeze lightly fanned your hair around your shoulders. Birds chirped out a delightful melody, flying around the cornflower-blue sky. It wasn't too hot or too cold, and that was one of the many things you loved about visiting Asia during the springtime; the weather was bearable, compared to New York City's below-freezing temperatures in winter. You vividly remembered visiting the botanical gardens in upstate New York on a school trip once, and from then on you'd grown attached.

In the centre of the garden was a large lake with flowering lily pads and on the other side of the bank stood a quaint little temple, with a wooden bridge across the middle so visitors could cross over and look at the koi below.

"It's beautiful here," Steve commented as you made your way down the sidewalk, "I wish they had places like this back home."

"Yeah it is, isn't it," you breathed out, unable to tear your eyes away from the lovely sights. "I could do this all day."

"Hey, that's my line," he joked. You chuckled quietly, slipping your hand into his. He laced your fingers together in response, and you felt the butterflies flutter around in your stomach again the longer he held on, and those butterflies turned into hummingbirds as you looked up to meet his piercing gaze.

You're not sure how long you stay like that, gazing into each others' eyes, but it's only when a little girl stops and asks to take a picture that you pull away.

"Captain America and Agent Y/N!" Judging by her looks, she seemed like she came from the US as well. "Can I get a picture with you guys?"

"Of course, sweetie," you smiled. You brushed off the weird feeling you got when your skin made contact with Steve's, and gestured for her to come closer.

Steve scooped the girl up into his arms as she held your hand, and the mother snapped a few quick pictures before he let her back down.

"Thank you!" she exclaimed before skipping away.

At 2:20 you decided to leave and head out to the Tokyo Tower early so you would be avoiding any possible long lines. You were up at the observation deck within twenty minutes.

"This is just....wow," you breathed out, in awe of the breathtaking view you got as you stared out the panoramic windows, the reflective walls casting thin rays of light onto your faces.

If you thought the view from your penthouse was nice, this was a hundred times better. You had almost nothing preventing you from being able to see the entire city in all directions. The sun was hanging high in the sky, the skyscrapers piercing the horizon like pins and needles.

Steve couldn't help but let his gaze linger on you, the way your face brightened up at the sight of Tokyo's stunning view, the way you laughed and smiled more than you ever did back home. It was a rare sight, and he wished he could see you in this state more often. Oh, the things he'd do to keep hearing your musical laugh and million-dollar smile.

...

The next day was jam-packed with activities. You took a two hour train ride down south to Osaka, exploring the cup noodles museum, shopping downtown in Dotonbori, and stuffing yourself with delicious pastries along the way. Before you headed back, you decided to stock up on groceries at the local market. 

You fell asleep almost as soon as your head hit the pillow that night, waking up to somehow finding yourself in Steve’s arms. You both woke up at the same time, confused as to how you had gotten yourselves into this position, but were too embarrassed and tired to ask. 

This time, you decided to stay within Tokyo, immersing yourselves in going to as many districts as you could and doing as much as possible. 

After a long day exploring the city, you were rather exhausted. With a cup of freshly brewed matcha in hand, you stayed quiet for a while as you soaked in the scenery, watching the city come alive late at night.

When Steve woke up from his nap a few hours later, he found you standing by the window. Smiling to himself, he got up, approaching you and wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin atop your head.

"Hi," you greeted, setting your mug down on the coffee table besides you.

"Hey," he murmured into your ear. You closed your eyes and hummed quietly in response, letting your bodies rock back and forth to the rhythm of your steady heartbeats together.

"Watashi wa, anata o aishiteimasu," (I love you.)

A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "Watashi mo anata o aishitemasu, Cap." (I love you too, Cap.)

You stepped away so you could turn around to face him, and he pulled you back towards him and pressed his lips to yours.

He couldn't help but smile into the kiss, pulling you closer against him.

[shushushleep]

A Broken Heart And A Spotless Mind (Series)

Hi, this is my first ever fic and I apologize for my grammatical errors, English isn’t my first language…Hope you like it.

B!D and Lena where Lena confronts B!D about lying to her about Kara being Supergirl but the thing is B!D just like Alex had her mind wiped by J’onn so that she could protect Kara.

Word Count: 1725 Warnings: Angst and Violence

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 

“Kara...Kara Danvers? My sister? Babe you must be kidding me.” You were shocked and you let out a chuckle thinking that Lena is pranking you or something but at the same time you’re confused because of her stern facial expression, “(Y/N), Don’t lie to me” Her green emerald eyes begins to water she’s also confused if you’re playing her and taking her for a fool. “GET OUT (Y/N)!” Her voice is firm “Lena, babe I don’t understand! I would never lie to you” Now your eyes starts to water still confused about the things that Lena accused you and your sisters especially Kara and the whole super friends lying to her. A moment ago you were so giddy and excited to see your girlfriend but then as you entered her apartment you can see that all of her lights are off so you wander until you saw a dim light in the hallway coming from Lena’s bedroom you walked towards it but then you heard a glass shattering so you come running then you found her sitting on the floor, puffy eyes and a half bottle of one of her expensive scotch, you approach her but all she did was to be cold and distant you. “Lena please talk to me, darling please.” Lena looked at you, caressing your cheek and you lean on her hand and she looked you in eye. “You are such a good liar, you are so convincing you know, you made me believed that a Luthor like me is worth loving, but all you ever did was to betray me and treat me like an outsider.” She let’s go of you and turns away from you and as she looks at her window.

“(Y/N), Get out now, or else I have to call security!” You were taken aback you were so confused about why Lena is acting like this but before you go,  you muttered something to your girlfriend, “Lena, I didn’t know what I’ve done wrong, but I wouldn’t lie to you and please remember that.” You look back from the doorway expecting her hug, her running to come back to you or an apology from her but nothing. So you head for the main door to leave her apartment, as you close the door you tears start to fall as you walk to the elevator then as you exit the building, you don’t want to go to your apartment just yet, you wanted to clear your mind so you started walking blindly not knowing where your feet are taking you, a few walks later you ended up in the park, you sat on the bench and then began sobbing uncontrollably, good thing it was night and no one can see you being a total mess. A little later you began to calm down but your eyes still blurry so you began to walk towards to your apartment but as you walk, you hear screeching tires then all of the sudden a black van stopped in front of you and then a man grabbed you and knocks you out...

The next day was game night at J’onn’s place, your sisters, Kara and Alex began to prepare the games and snacks, while J’onn had to run some errands. “Hey where’s (Y/N)?” Asked Alex because it seems unusual of you to not help them to prepare during game night because you love to setting the games and it has always been your routine to prepare a bizarre food combination made out of the snacks that Kara has picked out, like flamin’ cheetos with milk or PB&J with hot fries and other odd food combinations that you’ve conjured. “Oh she texted me last night that she’ll surprise Lena or something and she didn’t come home, so...” Your oldest sister covers her ears “Ok, you don’t have to finish your sentence I get it. It’s just not like her to not answer my calls.” Alex notices that Kara was quiet for some time and seems like something’s bothering her “Alex, I think it’s time to tell Lena about me being Supergirl.” Alex looked at her curiously “And how are you planning to do that? Without (Y/N) finding out?” Kara grabs the nearest chair and sits on it and rubs her temple. “I don’t know how long I could keep doing this to Lena not to mention (Y/N), I miss the little things we do.” Alex remembers those ridiculously things that you do with Kara whenever you two are bored “Like when she throws a popcorn seed and you using your laser vision to make popcorn in the air?” Kara chuckles at that memory “Yeah those little things or when she randomly tips herself over and I catch her every time she falls...” Kara sighs “I miss her so much it pains me to see her like that... her not remembering that I am Supergirl.” The red head puts a comforting hand to the heroine’s back to comfort her. “Hey, her memories will come back, just like mine did...We just have to wait for it to come back to her and if you want to tell it to Lena then I’ll distract our baby sister with something shiny or a candy or whatever Nia and Brainy could do to distract her.” Kara lets a little sigh and gave her a weak smile. An hour passes by and it’s almost eight o’ clock the usual time that Game Night starts. Nia, Brainy, and Kelly are already there and they’ve already started the game, your best friend Nia noticed that you haven’t annoyed or forced her to eat one of your odd food combos, “Hey Kara, is (Y/N) going to attend tonight? Because I’ve been practicing my mortal kombat skills and I’m ready to kick her butt” Nia chuckles but Kara looked back to Alex because they’re now having a feeling that something is a bit off but then someone entered, they look at the person who have just entered the living room, it’s Lena who brought two wine bottles. “Hey, there she is. All we need to wait is for James and (Y/N).” J’onn said but Lena quickly stopped at her tracks by the mention of your name then Kara approached her to hug her with a wine glass at hand then she said that she has something really important to tell her but then Alex just came out from the bathroom and notice Lena but without you and her stomach starts to tingle a little bit with worry but she brushes it of so she came over to greet the black-haired woman. “Lena, hi so glad you could make it.” She hugs the her “Well…It’s been awhile since the last game night because we’re all busy to stop my psychotic brother.” Lena chuckles a little bit and it became silent for a second but then Alex breaks the silence and shifts the topic. “So…Is (Y/N) going to be here any minute?” Lena suddenly froze because for the first time she doesn’t know what to say or how to say it, her mind is debating between her saying that you and her were not in speaking terms if not a breakup then scream at everyone and especially to Kara for lying to her about her identity or to suck all the pain up for just this night, this last night because she didn’t know if she can handle them lying to her face to face, especially Kara. “About that… (Y/N)..” Before she even blurts out the truth about your current situation her phone rings and it’s from an unknown number. “I think you should answer that, It seems urgent because who would’ve call at a Friday night.” Kara says. Lena excuses herself and she goes to the balcony to have some privacy.

“Hello, who is this? My office hours are already finished so you can just send the message to my assistant on Monday morning.” She puts on her Business voice but then her mood changes the voice that she heard from the other side of the phone sends shivers down to her spine. “Lena Luthor. Just the person who I was looking for, took me seventy calls before you picked it up.” Henshaw smirks “What do you want!” Lena’s voice slightly breaks. “Oh Lena, it’s not what we want, it’s about what YOU want dear.” That voice she recognize that voice anywhere, that all too familiar voice of Lillian Luthor. “What do you mean? I don’t anything to do with you .” Lena’s voice hints with anger “Oh I know, but you would anyway because I have something that you treasure the most.” Lena was hit by the realization that even though you broke her heart she can’t ignore or hide the fact that she still loves you even though she’s pushing it out the way. “Where’s (Y/N)?!” On the other side of the room Brainy received a some kind of link from his DEO tablet then he notifies Alex about it then all of then suddenly stopped playing monopoly then Alex turn on J’onn’s TV so they can watch it but then after the Brainy pressed the video they we’re all shocked and Alex, Kara, Nia and J’onn are now tearing up they can’t believe in what they are now seeing from the screen it was a video of you tied up from a chair badly beaten, with bruises and all and a blood on your lips. Lena re-enters the room then she saw you in the video. She dropped her wine glass then it shattered at the impact from the floor everyone looked at her, her eyes can’t stop the tears from falling as she looks at the screen. Then in the video Lillian began to speak. “Give me the Lead Dispersing Device and the Isotope within twenty-four hours, in exchange for your beloved little Danvers.” Lillian holds your chin. “And oh no tricks this time…Or else this will be the last time you’ll see (Y/N) Danvers breathing. Don’t keep me waiting…” The video ended Kara has now somehow clench her hand in anger and her teeth can break through a steal with anger, Alex on the other hand is cursing on the other side of the corner and throws a punch at the nearest wall and Nia’s tears start to fall again.

[panharmonium]

I would like to add Gwaine to the list of friends Merlin had. Especially in the 3/4 seasons he really was ride or die for Merlin, they shared intimate details with each other, they truly trusted each other. There were instances where the show alluded that Gwaine knows about Merlin's magic and is fine with it.

hi there!  i’m assuming this is in response to the post i reblogged about will and lancelot being merlin’s only “real” friends?  

i’m actually happy to write about this, now that the question has been posed - it’s been a while since i wrote anything long about gwaine!

fair warning in advance: i don’t personally classify gwaine the same way i do will and lancelot, and that’s what this piece will cover in more detail, but these are just my own thoughts, and it is totally cool for everybody else to have different opinions.  my take is my take, but it does not have to be everyone’s take - if people wanna scroll past because this isn’t their vibe, i don’t mind in the slightest. :)

so, without further ado - i LOVE gwaine, and i have written extensively about how amazing his relationship with merlin is (some examples here, here, here, and here, if anybody’s looking).  he is the most likely of all merlin’s living friends to ditch arthur in the name of addressing merlin’s needs, which is super important, and he also has a much healthier friendship with merlin than arthur does (in my own personal opinion, of course, which nobody is obligated to share).  he definitely does go ride or die for merlin in S3/S4, i agree.

but my own thoughts on this particular point are still the same as they were in that original post.  i tend to hide my clarifications/explanations in the tags, so they might have flown by, but i’ll just copy/paste the relevant bit here for ease of access, as some background for the rest of this post.

re: will and lancelot were merlin’s only ‘real’ friends:

#what this does not mean: merlin has no other friends!  merlin doesn't have meaningful and important relationships with other people!   #what it does mean:  #every single one of merlin's other relationships is undergirded by the sickening knowledge that those friendships are conditional   #every single one of his other relationships is accompanied by the constant undercurrent of 'they would hate me if they knew'   #merlin knows his friends 'care' about him   #except they don't really; because it's not truly him they're caring about   #they care deeply - about someone merlin made up   #about a facade.   #in the most basic sense   #those relationships aren't Real   #the love merlin feels for the people in them is real   #but you cannot truly be 'friends' with somebody who doesn't even know who you are   #you cannot be loved without being known   #you certainly cannot be loved without being safe

obviously i suppose a person’s thoughts on this would be different if they headcanoned that gwaine knew about merlin’s magic, and that’s fine.  i personally do not believe canon indicates or supports that, but i’m not out to convince people to abandon their own fanon interpretations of things; i’m happy just hanging out in my own space talking about my thoughts.  me writing meta is the virtual equivalent of me talking to myself in my room - if other people have different conversations with themselves, that’s fine :)  i don’t mind if other folks organize their thoughts about things differently.  

in accordance with that - everybody please feel free to continue on with your own interpretations, and ignore mine if mine do not appeal to you!  if people are interested about how i organize my ideas on this, though, they are essentially as follows:

1) a cage fighter, a class traitor, and a fake sorcerer walk into a tavern

ok, to start with - here’s a graph.

(...who tf starts a meta post with ‘here’s a graph’ lol i just drew a venn diagram for the first time since like...middle school...i LOVE fandom, man, this is RIDICULOUS)

anyway

this is a very rough interpretation of how i think about gwaine, lancelot, and will:

to address some of these elements individually:

lancelot and will give merlin something that gwaine can’t - safety, authenticity, the comfort of being known and seen for real, a respite from constantly qualifying every friendship with ‘they would hate me if they knew’

lancelot and gwaine, likewise, give merlin something merlin wouldn’t be as likely to get from will (if will were still alive, i mean) - an understanding of merlin’s devotion to the Crown, a supportive ally in the fight to promote arthur’s reign and keep arthur/camelot safe

will and gwaine, for their part, are more likely to tell arthur to go fuck himself, if it’s important for helping merlin, and that’s a different kind of support that merlin also really needs.

and will, on his own, gives merlin something that neither lancelot NOR gwaine can provide, which is a friend who isn’t connected to or even particularly interested in arthur pendragon (merlin has nobody in his life like this, not after will dies) - somebody who knew and cared about merlin before merlin had any proximity to arthur, before this whole ’destiny’ issue reared its merciless head.

everybody in merlin’s life matters to him and gives him something important.  gwaine is STUPIDLY important to merlin.  the love there is real.  but in canon, because gwaine is not in the know, gwaine is still one of the people from whom merlin feels compelled to hide himself.  gwaine is right up there alongside gwen, arthur, elyan, percival, etc - every other person who merlin loves, who merlin nonetheless constantly, back-of-his-mind fears, ‘they would reject me if they knew.’

the above is part of why i personally have never been too interested in ‘so-and-so knows about merlin’s magic’ canon-imaginings.  there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them, and i’m sure people must have tons of fun with them - and in an AU context maybe i would have fun with them too - but as hopeful interpretations of actual canon, they don’t appeal to me.  merlin’s near-total isolation and desperate, constantly-frustrated desire for real, honest love is an inalienable aspect of his character for me, one i can’t separate from who he is and why he does the things he does and why he eventually ends up in the place where we find him towards the end of the show.  

2) i just want someone to see me for who i am

i have seen a bit of sentiment out there along the lines of ‘merlin should have told (x person) about their magic’ or ‘(x person) obviously doesn’t have a problem with sorcerers,’ but i guess i personally don’t think it’s as clear as all that, and i think me saying it is would be doing merlin a disservice.

merlin’s desire to be seen/known/accepted is literally the most base urge he has.  if he truly thought he could tell somebody safely, he would.

i think merlin knows the people in his orbit well enough to know how they feel about sorcery, at least in a general sense.  and even if they aren’t bloodthirsty bigots like uther, they aren’t exactly welcoming magic with open arms, either.  at the most basic, elementary level, merlin understands something that we don’t like to think about: none of his friends ever challenge arthur on the sorcery ban or express any dissatisfaction with the political status quo, and, even absent outright bigotry, this fact speaks loudly enough in and of itself.  merlin’s friends might not be out clamoring for sorcerers’ blood, but they aren’t criticizing a society that criminalizes sorcery, either, and they are never shown to have a problem with the way things are, even though the way things are is wrong.

The Way Things Are is, in fact, unjust.  it’s oppressive.  and allowing that state of affairs to continue, unquestioned and unchallenged, when you have access to the king’s ear and aren’t personally in danger of being persecuted, indicates that you’re okay with the injustice.  that you’re comfortable with the oppression.  that you don’t see a problem with the status quo, and that you're unbothered enough by it to let it be.

it doesn’t matter that merlin’s friends have never straight-up said ‘boy, magic sure is evil’ onscreen.  they never say that camelot’s policies are wrong, and that delivers a clear enough message on its own.

3) it is not a crime to fight for your freedom

to bring this back to gwaine specifically, since that was originally the focus of this ask -

for me, for all that i adore gwaine, and for all that i think he was, for the most part, an INCREDIBLY sound, healthy relationship for merlin, the truth is that gwaine is as much a part of this problem as everyone else.  does that mean i personally think gwaine would have summarily dumped merlin if he’d found out merlin had magic?  no.  but i don’t think it’s as uncomplicated as maybe we wish it might be, and i think merlin has every right to be as uncertain of gwaine on this issue as he does of everyone else.

for one thing, like i said before, even gwaine, who used to have fewer qualms than any of the knights about pushing back on arthur’s BS, has never said a word about camelot’s injustices, or ever acknowledged that the laws of the land are unjust to begin with.  

for another, there are specific moments that kind of make you wonder.

5.05 (’the disir’) is a good example of this - when gwaine finds osgar in the woods, the two of them have this exchange:

you are a sorcerer, a heretic, and a murderer.  

the rhetoric of this sentence frames all three of these things as equivalent entities - criminal ones.  

to pick this apart more carefully:

a) sorcerer

it’s worth noting here that we’re never told osgar has done anything worse than evading arrest for the crime of being a known sorcerer.  when leon mentions him in the council meeting, the conversation consists solely of the following:

“as you know, a few days ago our garrison in the forest of breckfire intercepted the man who goes by the name of osgar.”

“the sorcerer.”

“the same.  they were trying to apprehend him when he used his powers to escape.”

and…that’s it.  osgar’s crime, as far as we know, was simply being a sorcerer (and then, after that, attempting to escape an unjust arrest, thereby killing a knight in the process).  there’s no mention of any other activities that would have warranted his arrest in the first place, other than the possession of magic.

but magic, even on its own, IS a crime in camelot - and gwaine levels the accusation at osgar as such.

b) heretic

that’s a hell of a word to throw around, if you think sorcery is chill.

“heretic” isn’t a mild accusation.  "heretic” has vitriolic severity behind it.  people are accused of heresy when they’re perceived to be in brazen defiance of what is (in the eyes of the accuser) unquestionably right and correct.  “heretic” is like…it’s like blasphemer.  the connotation is not just that something is bad, but that it’s sinful.

for gwaine, either osgar’s association with sorcery and/or his defiance of camelot’s army makes him a heretic.  and that’s not something a person who is down with sorcery or supportive of a magic-user’s struggle for freedom would say.

c) murderer

if gwaine were cool with sorcery, we would expect him to understand that a sorcerer who resisted arrest for the crime of being a sorcerer isn’t a murderer.  

it’s like kara said in 5.11 - it is not a crime to fight for the right to be who you are.

camelot has been killing sorcerers for decades.  osgar mortally wounded a soldier (not an innocent civilian, i might note) who was trying to imprison him.  he was resisting the armed forces of an oppressive state.  that’s not murder.

somebody who understands that camelot is an oppressive regime wouldn’t think of this as murder.  they would understand that it is not a crime to protect your own life when the state has literally been trying to exterminate your people for years.  and even if osgar had been engaged in rebellious activities against the state (which as far as we know is not the case - nothing like this is ever referenced!), they would understand that people with magic have long been overdue for a righteous uprising.  

but gwaine is a little more like arthur, in this moment - he sees the “wrong” that osgar has done (in the form of sir ranulf’s death) without seeing the thousands upon thousands of wrongs that camelot visited upon the magical community first.

4) you can’t go armed into a sacred place

the rest of this episode is similar.  gwaine pays just as little heed to merlin’s warnings as the rest of the knights, when merlin admonishes them that the disir’s cave is sacred.  gwaine doesn’t relinquish his sword or take special care upon entering the cave.  in fact, he is the one who outright interrupts the disir while they’re speaking - as they’re telling arthur a series of hard truths, that he’s persecuted magic-users, “even unto slaughter;” that he’s desecrated their space: “you come here, to the most sacred of the sacred, to the very heart of the Old Religion, with weapons drawn - trampling hallowed relics - treating our sacred space like you do your kingdom - with arrogance - with conceit - with insolence - ”

and gwaine cuts them off, pushing to the front of the group and shouting at them “enough!  you speak of the king!”  and that’s when the fight starts, when mordred gets stabbed.

someone who was fully accepting of magic, or who knew anything about it at all, would not have behaved this way.  they would not have bristled at hearing how arthur’s regime unfairly persecutes the magical community.  they would have known that it was true.

5) i just want to be myself

the above is just one example, but it’s a clear enough one to illustrate what i mean.  gwaine IS an amazing friend to merlin.  he does treat merlin well.  and merlin loves him to death.  but gwaine is NOT totally chill with magic.  i’m not saying he actively hates it, but he is not, from what merlin has witnessed, entirely safe.  merlin loves him, but he can’t be himself around him.

and i do think that pains merlin terribly.  all these people who he loves so much, and every time he’s with them there’s always that whisper: ‘this is a charade.  all the love in my life is a lie.  they only like me because they don’t know me.  if they knew who i really was, this would be over.’  

and we wonder why he never tells anyone.  we tell him he ‘should’ have told gwaine, gwen, morgana, arthur, like it would have been easy, or even possible, for him to ever consider putting himself in a position where he could lose what precarious, partially make-believe connections he has.

merlin, in the later seasons, when he worries about his magic being exposed, isn’t afraid of being executed.  he’s afraid of becoming even more alone than he is now.  and he has good reason to feel that way - even people who appear to put him first aren’t fully on board with the thing that makes him who he is.  and merlin knows this.  he’s seen it.  none of his friends are out fighting for people like him at court.  some of his friends shake their heads and assure arthur “you are a good and just king” when arthur expresses concern that maybe the disir are right, maybe he has indeed transgressed.  some of merlin’s friends used to buck the system in defense of the powerless, but now they defend the regime even when the accusations levelled against it by an oppressed population are true.

merlin knows that revealing himself is a kind of risk that could very plausibly end with him utterly disowned.  every single friendship he has is subject to this justified fear, this bitter knowledge.  merlin has every reason to doubt the soundness of his relationships.

and, circling back to the thing that started all these musings - the only friends who never made him feel that way were will and lancelot.

that’s all i mean when i say that will and lancelot were merlin’s only “real” friends.  i wish there were a better word to use than that, because i really don’t mean it like…as if merlin’s relationships with other people weren’t…valid, or important, or based on true love and care.  they were.  but there’s just not a better way to express that will and lancelot were the only people who ever even knew who they were friends with, who saw merlin for exactly who he was and said “i love you still.”  they were the only ones whose friendship was something merlin didn’t have to be afraid of losing solely for existing.

i always think of morgana’s line in 2.11 - ‘i don’t want to be brave.  i just want to be myself. i don’t want to be alone anymore.’

around everyone else, merlin has to be brave.  he has to keep up the pretense, which means even when he’s surrounded by friends, he’s completely isolated.

with will and lancelot, though, he could be himself.  with will and lancelot, he wasn’t alone.

6) post-script

i really appreciate being given the opportunity to muse to myself about this in more detail - i actually needed to think through some things regarding gwaine anyway, for writing purposes, and this was actually really helpful in organizing my brain.  so thanks, anon, for the prompt!  

i know my answer probably runs counter to your own interpretation of things, but as i said, this is just my own personal outlook.  i typed it up because the message got me thinking, and because i know i have a couple of friends who might find it interesting, but my thoughts apply only to me, and i do not mind at all if folks think about these things differently!  nobody is obligated to agree with anything i write, or give it any further thought, or even read it at all - we’re all going to engage with this story in different ways, so if anybody finds that this isn’t their cup of tea, please feel free to scroll on by, and keep having fun with this show in whatever way makes you happiest! :)