#i have enough to get by so things could definitely be worse

[jaggedamethyst]

circuit breaker 🔬🌌 (part three)

tutor!jayce talis x reader college au

content: adding tutoring to an already packed schedule has gotten overwhelming. there's so much to do, yet not enough time, it seems.

pining (but im not saying who lmaooo), mentions of mental health (panic attacks, anxiety, etc).

notes: hiii. i am addicted to writing for this i fear so don't be surprised if i just keep updating randomly. i've also just started school so this is all in my free time!! but chat...its about to get good af *smiles mischievously*

word count: 1.2k

series masterlist

⭑·ﾟﾟ·*:༅。.。༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅。.。༅:*·ﾟﾟ·⭑

You didn’t enjoy this, scrambling for the countless time today to make a meeting. Even more so, you hated the idea of being late to see Ekko, again. He was always so empathetic—understanding. Even if he was upset with you, and you knew he was, he would never make you feel bad about it. He understood things happened. 

It didn’t stop you from speeding into the dining hall and turning to your usual table in a complete frenzy, though. “Ekko, I am so sorry. Time literally got away from me today.” 

He grips a chain he’d been holding, a locket at the top, and pushed it back into his pocket quickly. “It has a way of doing that…time I mean.” 

You sat down, immediately feeling way worse than you already had. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be, I’m sure you had a reason, right?” 

“Yes,” you sighed. “I was at tutoring with Jayce. We went over vectors and I finally understand it better.” 

His eyes lingered on the table, “Mm.” A hum from him, seemingly half paying attention. 

“Mm?” You mimicked the sound he made, “What’s mm?” 

“It’s just that I definitely could’ve helped you with that…being a STEM major and all…” 

“I know that…of course I know that but-“ 

He cracked a smile, “I’m joking.” 

You couldn’t help the smile on your face, the lightheartedness finally returning to you both. “I hate you, truly.” 

“You don’t…and that’s okay! I’m extremely lovable.” 

You nodded sarcastically, “Sure, I’ll let you keep believing that.” You looked around, finally taking in how desolate the dining hall actually was. It was a bit after peak hours now, considering you showed up a bit later than normal. A yawn escaped you, then, the day catching up to you. 

Ekko perked up a bit, “You hungry?” 

You tilted your head, “Always.” 

He turned to grab a paper bag from inside his backpack—pushing it across the table to you. Your order down to the sauces, no tomatoes, extra pickles. 

“Oh my gosh, I love you so much Ekko…you’re actually the best.” 

He watched you inspect the bag, each little detail perfect. There was a glint in your eye; it was rather humorous that it was about food, but he appreciated it nonetheless. 

You weren’t looking at him, but he was locked in on you. A genuine and soft look was on his face. “I love you…too.” 

The fries you were eating fully occupied your mind and nothing besides the comfort of your bed could get your mind off of them. Ekko didn’t say much after, letting you eat in silence before offering to walk you back to your place. The sounds of the busy city filled the space between you, him occasionally ushering you ahead with a soft nudge. Neither of you spoke until you were outside your door. 

You leaned in for a hug, “Thank you…I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Yup.” He hugged you back, leaning his head into yours, inhaling deeply. “Tomorrow.” 

“On time,” You pulled away, “I promise.” 

His hands found his pockets, nodding simply. “On time.” 

Exhaustion was creeping up on you. At this point, you had class most days of the week, Ekko meetings daily, and tutoring at least twice a week. On top of all of this, you desperately needed a job. Even with the hours that passed and the rest you got, the looming feeling of doom was making you feel anxious. There was a bubbling thought in you that in a few days time, you might genuinely have a panic attack. The signs were there, a fleeting feeling of irritation—the need to constantly be doing something. If you didn’t you’d be left alone with your thoughts and that never worked out well. 

The next day's hours squished themselves together. Despite the feeling, you plastered on a smile and made your way to do everything you had to. You couldn’t chance anyone, especially Ekko, knowing that you weren’t feeling the best. Yet, the emotion often found you in silent cries. You took the long way to tutoring, walking on side roads you knew never had many people on them. In one ear, you let music play, sinking into the emotion as best you could with the consistent sounds of the world around you. It was best you cry now, you thought. You had to focus during tutoring. 

You didn’t sob, but rather let the tears run freely. The cool sensation helped usually—a way for you to identify that you were present in the moment…in your body. You let your legs carry you to the resource center eventually, mindlessly walking toward the room Jayce had reserved. Truthfully, you were glad to see he wasn’t here yet. 

You got comfortable, wiping your face free of the proof of your small breakdown. You straightened at the sound of footsteps approaching the door. 

“Hey,” Jayce backed into the room, a small bag in his hands. He slowly turned, closing the door behind him. You weren’t looking his way, purposely avoiding his gaze—hiding your reddened eyes. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m good,” a sniffle, “Just had a hard day…lot on my plate.” 

He nodded, sitting across from you. “Well…I guess it’s good I made sure to bring some encouragement then.” You finally looked at him. His face contorted briefly at the sight of you before handing you the bag he walked in with. “Here…this should help.” 

Confused, you reached for the bag. “But-“ 

“I asked Viktor,” he interrupted, “He said you would like some of these.” 

“You really didn’t have to, I was just joking-“ 

“I wanted to,” he spoke quickly before pausing. He looked at you, swallowing the already lessening amount of moisture in his mouth. He needed some water. “Besides, the store was on the way here.” He cut himself off, gulping some of the water from his bottle. 

You didn’t speak, just looking at your favorite snacks in the bag. The gesture was a lot to take in, but it was appreciated.

“Can I say something?” 

You nodded, “Of course.” 

“I kind of relate to you…what you said about school. I have a scholarship, too.” 

“You do?” 

“Yup. It’s just me and my mom and we can’t really afford it.” He repositioned in his chair, “I worked really hard before this…for years to make sure I could get a full ride. I couldn’t stand the thought of putting that burden on my mom. But, when I got here, it was like the burden was on me now, to not fail…you know?” 

“Right…” 

“I don’t want you to feel…you shouldn’t feel like it’s all impossible.” He didn’t acknowledge the way you started to cry a little—he thought better of it and you thanked him internally. Instead, he reached for a paper towel. “Sorry, this is all we have…with the white boards…” 

“Thank you,” you chuckled a bit. 

“So…are you gonna eat any of those or can I have it back.” 

“I might be willing to share.” 

Jayce rubbed his hands together, “That’s what I like to hear!” 

The session was great, as usual. You were feeling even more comfortable—confident enough to take the next physics quiz. 

More importantly, you made it just in time to see Ekko’s look of surprise when you got there before him. 

“On time?” 

“On time.” 

taglist

@juskonutoh @sseleniaa @aerina127 @sleepysoldier @bxxerry

[etchingsandepitaphs]

Down Time

MORE ARCANE FANFICTION I'M NOT SORRY it's CaitVi Hurt/Comfort this time tehehe enjoy

Word Count: 2703

Summary: Vi has a couple of hours to herself, and spirals when she realizes she has nothing to do. Caitlyn comforts her, and shows her something in the Kiramman mansion that brings up an old love.

CWs: Described panic attack, discussions of war-related PTSD, mentions of death, mentions of class imbalance, swearing

------------------------

No matter how long she spent there, Vi was certain that she would never get used to the overwhelming size of the Kiramman mansion. Even if Caitlyn had said it was more modest compared to some of the other councillor’s families, she in no way believed her. The place felt sprawling, endless hallways of rooms that had taken her weeks not to get lost in. Even now, despite living there, she still found herself getting turned around.

She’d found herself with a couple hours to spare while Caitlyn was busy, and immediately she was overcome with a deep-rooted anxiety.

“You sure there’s nothing I can help you with, cupcake?” She asked, hovering in the doorway to her girlfriend’s office. Caitlyn was staring at a machine that Vi knew held all of her mother’s decades of research, and she shook her head, clearly already in intense focus.

“Just give me a few hours, and I’ll be all yours. I just have a problem that I’m trying to work out.” She was chewing on her bottom lip, and sounded slightly dismissive in a way that made Vi know that the conversation was over. It wasn’t a personal attack, it was just the way she always got when she was trying to focus. 

“Right. Okay. Cool. No worries. I’ll see you in a few hours then.” She peeled herself away from the doorway slowly, allowing the office door to swing shut behind her and trying to keep herself from being stressed out.

It wasn’t like she was trying to be clingy. Caitlyn was allowed to do things without her; hell, it was healthy for them to do things without each other. But she still felt her breath quicken as she made her way down the hall, walking aimlessly in the opposite direction of the office.

She’d been in situations that would have been the stuff of nightmares for her teenage self. She’d fought monsters, and fought people worse than monsters. She truly had very little left to be afraid of.

So why did the idea of having free time scare the shit out of her?

She had genuinely nothing that she needed to do. And while her normal recourses would be to drink or to train, she’d sworn off alcohol after her weeks in the pit, and she’d just done a pretty intense full-body workout that morning. Not having to be a walking weapon anymore meant she had to learn how to pace herself. How to think a week ahead, not just a day.

She was struggling to grasp the concept.

Having downtime wasn’t something she had been used to, in recent years. Definitely not since Vander died, but probably a bit before that. She’d been itching to fight from the moment she was old enough to comprehend the hand that the undercity had been dealt.

So she made sure that she could. She honed her skills in every spare moment she had. She got in street fights to practice, she went running to improve her stamina in case they needed to escape. She was watching her family, or she was training. Those were her only goals. For years.

And then she got thrown into Stillwater, and all of the sudden she was in survival mode.

She was almost certain that she’d never left.

Her breath was coming quicker now, and she mentally berated herself for being so ridiculous. She was perfectly safe. She had nothing to be afraid of here.

Yet her body was reading signs of panic anyway, on the edges of her mind and threatening to overwhelm her system. Her hands had begun to shake, and she couldn’t help but sink to the ground in the hallway, back pressed to the wall. She felt dysfunctional and childish; she shouldn’t have to rely on her girlfriend to give her tasks. What happened to having hobbies? She was certain that she’d had hobbies once, hadn’t she? Things that she wanted to accomplish with her time, before it had all been overcome with war?

She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, trying to calm herself down. She didn’t even know what she was freaking out about, truly. Was she honestly that upset about not having anything to do? She could go take a nap, for fuck’s sake. This wasn’t that big of a deal.

But her brain wouldn’t listen to any of that, not once the panic attack had started. All she could do was sit on the floor and unravel while she waited for her mind to get its bearings. She only hoped that nobody would —

“Vi? What’s wrong?”

Fuck.

She moved her hands away from her eyes and saw a very concerned looking Caitlyn Kiramman at the end of the hall. Caitlyn rushed over to her side instantly, clearly scanning her body for physical injury as Vi was overcome with an undue feeling of embarrassment.

Of course she’d find her like this. Of course.

“Did something happen? Are you okay?” She seemed to have concluded that there were no external signs of damage, and Vi just shook her head slightly as she attempted to breath well enough to speak.

She held up a finger signaling for Caitlyn to wait a second, and she gave her the space she needed, watching in concern as Vi forced air in and out of her lungs. After a moment, Caitlyn joined her, sitting up against the wall next to her girlfriend and taking in calming breaths.

Vi had no idea how long they sat there like that. How long it took for the fog in her mind to clear and for her thoughts to unscramble themselves. Only that when they did, she was overcome with the urge to cry.

Caitlyn seemed to notice that she’d calmed down, because she turned to her again, lightly placing a hand on her leg to get her attention. Vi flinched a bit, refusing to look at her for a second before Caitlyn spoke.

“Did I do something wrong?” She asked, and Vi’s heart broke at the concern in her voice. She turned to her instantly, shaking her head.

“No, no, it wasn’t anything you did. I just… got overwhelmed. For a minute.” It was a bullshit explanation, and they both knew it. But Caitlyn just gently wrapped an arm around her girlfriend, allowing Vi to fall into her embrace.

She didn’t want to cry, but she couldn’t help it. Her body relaxed instantly, tears running down her cheeks as she let her head rest on Caitlyn’s shoulder.

“I don’t think… I don’t think I know how to be a person anymore,” She said, struggling to get the words out, voice choked with emotion. She had a hard time crying around other people, but that had long since gone out the window with Caitlyn. At this point, they’d both seen each other cry enough that they were well aware of what the other one needed.

And Vi just needed to get it out of her system. She pulled herself back together pretty quickly as Caitlyn gently ran her fingers through her cropped hair, but she still didn’t move from her girlfriend’s arms even after the tears had stopped. She just sniffled, feeling suddenly exhausted.

“What do you mean, you ‘don’t know how to be a person’?” Caitlyn asked once her crying had slowed. Vi just sighed, shaking her head.

“I don’t know. I’m being ridiculous.”

“Hey,” Caitlyn said, tilting Vi’s chin up so she was looking her in the eye. “If it’s impacting you, it’s not ridiculous.”

She nodded, taking a deep breath before speaking again. “I’m pretty sure I haven’t had free time since before Vander died. Before… all of this. I don’t know what to do with myself now.”

“Oh, darling…” She was clearly thinking hard for a second, nodding to both herself and Vi. “I had a similar experience after my mom died. Everything in my mind was war, and anything that wasn’t didn’t feel like it had any place at all.”

“Exactly. And now that it doesn’t all have to be war… it’s like I don’t know how to be a regular functioning adult anymore.”

She felt Caitlyn’s arms tighten around her, and both women sat there in silence for a second, thoughts racing. Finally, Caitlyn spoke again.

“Well, what did you like to do? Before, I mean.”

Vi laughed a bit. “Hell, Cait, I was like ten. I don’t even know if I remember.”

Caitlyn laughed as well, before shaking her head. “Okay, then what did you wish you could do when you were a kid? Like, when you had free time, what did you want to do?”

“I mean, I’ve always genuinely loved boxing…”

“But aside from that. I know you love boxing and that’s great, but that’s also a survival tactic. What sounded like it would be fun to do, if you were able?”

She thought about it for a minute before her mind was drawn back to the job they’d done that started all of this. When she broke into Jayce’s lab, and the first thing she’d run to was the bookshelves lining the wall.

“I’ve always wanted to get more into reading. We didn’t have a ton of access to paper books in the undercity, but I remember when I was little devouring whatever my parents could get their hands on.”

She looked over at Caitlyn to see her grinning, a slightly mischievous smile that made Vi’s stomach flip. “Well in that case, I have something you’re going to be very excited to see.” She unwrapped her arms from around Vi’s frame, before asking, “Can you stand?”

“Yeah, I’m all good now.”

She rose to her feet, holding her hand out to help her girlfriend up and remembering the first time they were in this position. On the streets of Zaun, right after Vi had been stabbed. The first of many times that she had called her “cupcake.”

That felt like a thousand years ago now.

Still, she shook off her reverie as she felt Vi’s hand firmly in her’s, pulling her to her feet and quickly taking off in a brisk walk down the hall. Vi jogged a little to catch up, watching Caitlyn with a wary enthusiasm.

“Cait, where are we going?” She asked. Caitlyn just grinned again.

“You’ll see!”

They turned the corner to a hallway that Vi had never seen before, and were soon standing in front of a pair of double doors. Caitlyn was practically bouncing on her feet now, and she looked over at Vi excitedly.

“Are you ready?” She asked. Vi just raised an eyebrow at her, trying to act concerned even as a small involuntary smile flickered over her face.

“I think so?” She replied, the answer taking the form of another question. If Caitlyn noticed though, she didn’t care, just throwing open the doors in front of them to reveal the most beautiful room Vi had ever set eyes on in her life.

Just when she thought that Kiramman mansion couldn’t get any nicer, all the air left her lungs as she walked through the doorway and into an ornate library. Floor-to-ceiling shelves filled with books lined the walls, and she wondered to herself how anybody could possibly read all of these in their lifetime.

And her second thought was of how badly she wanted to try.

She didn’t say any of this to Caitlyn though, of course. Instead, she just smacked her arm and said, “You fucking people have way too much money.”

“Hey, don’t look at me! I didn’t build the house.” She put her hands up in defense, even though it was clear that Vi’s tone was lighthearted. She still wasn’t really sure if she was truly upset or not when she marveled at Piltover’s wealth. There was a strange sense of guilt that ate at Caitlyn every time she mentioned it, despite the fact that these were simply positions they were both born into.

“How…” She was snapped out of her thoughts by Vi’s breathless exhalation, the two of them having now moved into the middle of the room so that her gaze could trace every single shelf. “How many are there?”

“Oh god, I have no idea. A lot. Some of them are my parents’, but a lot of them belonged to my grandfather as well. He was quite the collector.”

“But they all belong to your family?” Vi asked, hardly able to believe it. Caitlyn just nodded. She had never viewed the library as mundane, but she was relishing in seeing it through new eyes. Recognizing just how beautiful it truly was.

“And you can read every single one of them, if you want to,” Caitlyn said, and Vi’s gaze snapped to hers. She was grinning like an idiot now, and it made Caitlyn’s heart melt.

“I cannot believe I’ve been here for two weeks now and you haven’t shown me this yet,” She remarked, her tone carrying a joking accusation. Caitlyn just laughed.

“I didn’t know you were passionate about reading! And also, in my defense, we were both a little bit preoccupied.” The cleanup and restoration efforts after the fight with Viktor and The Arcane had been immense, and were nowhere near done yet. This was just the first time that either of them had had even an hour of downtime.

Vi just laughed, though her expression turned a bit more solemn with the reminder of everything that had happened over the past few weeks. Still, the shine in them wasn’t dimmed as she looked at the room around her. “So… you’re sure you don’t need help with anything?”

Caitlyn laughed too, and she shook her head. “Nope. Nothing. I’ve got it all taken care of, and you’re welcome to spend as much time in here as you want.”

Vi grinned, pulling her girlfriend in for a kiss. When they broke away, both of them were smiling. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course. I’m just glad that I could help.”

“You always help,” Vi said, a sincerity in her voice that made Caitlyn’s eyes water.

“I love you,” She said, pulling her in for another kiss before Vi could get a word out. She laughed when they broke apart again.

“I love you too, cupcake.”

Caitlyn took her leave from the library after that, leaving Vi to stand there marveling at her family’s collection. For a moment, she wasn’t even sure where to start. The shelves didn’t appear to be labeled in any particular organization system, and none of the titles sounded very familiar.

Until her eyes caught on a book that dragged up a memory she had completely forgotten that she even had.

“Holy shit,” She exclaimed under her breath, pulling it out and assessing the cover. It was in significantly better condition than the copy that she’d had as a kid, but the memory was vivid all the same. She opened it up, thumbing through the pages as scenes came rushing back to her.

Her ninth birthday, when her parents had given her a small package. It was her favorite gift she had ever been given. She read the entire thing that night, and then the next day she read it again, and again, sitting curled up in a corner booth at The Last Drop as she devoured the pages until they were practically falling apart. She’d lost it at some point in the move from her parents’ house to Vander’s after they were killed, and the loss devastated her.

And now she had it in her hands again.

It was a children’s book. It wasn’t like it was the peak of literature. With all the books in this library, she could surely find a better one. But at that moment, there was nothing she wanted to read more.

 She held it tightly in her hands like it would slip away again, moving over to one of the armchairs in the corner of the room. Surrounded by books, nestled into a safe spot in the Kiramman mansion, she allowed herself to relax for what felt like the first time in years. She opened the cover.

And she felt the warmth of home.

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Cuddle Time with a Human Stuffed Toy *Drabble* (Fem!Yandere x Fem!Reader)

CW: Drugging, abduction

Ava opened the front door tiredly, practically collapsing the second she entered her apartment. Shoulders sagging and purse loudly hitting the hardwood floor; her professional personality died entirely. Black heels were kicked off to the side with little regard.

She opened the fridge with one hand for a beer while releasing her long dark hair from her painfully tight bun with the other. On a normal day, the mid thirty year old woman would have showered as soon as she got home, but after a long, hellish day of getting screamed at by her disgusting pig-shit boss for things out of her control, she couldn't be bothered to even unbutton her blazer, let alone her button down. She did allow her pencil skirt to slip off her hips, exposing her tights-clad legs, leaving her bottoms in the kitchen.

Although Ava tried to step quietly, she could hear her the soft rattle of chains from her bedroom. She smiled. It had been such an awful day, and all she could think about was coming home to cuddle her stuffed animals in bed.

‐---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Growing up, she always had to be "mature". Ava was the child who was told "Oh, you're so mature for your age!" and told she was "too old" for childish things. But she hated it, and worse, she envied the little girls who openly received comfort and carried around adorable things. She wanted those 'adorable things'..

When she was in college, she was invited to go shopping with a bunch of women in her class, and she saw the sweetest things for sale. Ava knew toy stores existed, but she had never been inside one. Teddy bears were very squishy. But there was something behind the counter she wanted even more.

‐---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ava unlocked her bedroom door and entered the pink, soft paradise. Stuffed toys of all types nearly filled every surface, to the point that it was getting difficult to walk. There were animals of all sizes on the bed, on shelves, in overflowing chests, even hanging from the ceiling in hammocks.

Chains rattled from the woman on the bed, skin clamy and sweaty from being trapped with a bunch of stuffed animals. (Reader's) eyes flickered, desperately trying to wake themselves up.

"Mmm.."

Ava pulled a bag out from the nightstand next to the bed. "Ah, ah, ah. Teddy bears don't speak." She pulled a needle out, and like many times before, gently laid out (Reader's) arm to find her vein. The confused woman couldn't feel the prick, but she definitely felt numbing sensation return.

The black haired woman smiled, then crawled over (Reader), pulling her into her chest and kissing the clip on teddy ears.

Her favorite stuffed toy.

‐---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you finding everything okay?"

Ava's dark brown eyes opened wide enough to see the whites above and below her irises. The cute cashier who had been watching her from behind the counter was wearing bear ears the same color as her hair.

"Uh.." The young woman realized she had been death gripping a dolly. "I was just looking!"

"Okie dokie!" The teddy bear woman smiled wide, unfazed. "Let me know if you need anything!"

Ava felt her heart skip a beat, and the urge she had the squish every toy she saw inside the store, she experienced for the woman in front of her.

[rosy-eyedsweetpea]

Family headcanons about TPTM! Why? Because I want to.

It’s kind of a long one. :D

@weevildoing, please, tell me if I got anything right…

CW for child abuse and neglect!

Disposable Girl: she comes from an emotionally neglectful environment. It used to be even physically neglectful in the past, but it got “better.” I imagine Jordyn’s mother to always be high on her meds or just really uncaring about life and existence, while also being attractive, and she probably compared herself to Jordyn, while her father is misogynistic and makes less-than-savory comments. Her parents try to be good to Jordyn, but it just isn’t enough because of their emotional states, views, and financial condition (I imagine they’re lower middle-class/poor.)

Irreverent Girl: they are pieces of shit. That’s it, Kairi’s parents are disgraceful human beings. Emotionally abusive and emotionally neglectful, sometimes even physical, and they genuinely believe they are doing it for co own good. Kairi must sneak some things in sometimes because her parents would cause a big drama and want her to repent. They will always put “God” first, instead of Kairi. Definitively with the “purity culture treatment” too, for Kairi to be so embarrassed to fall into temptation, because co mother would just ridicule her and force her to repent. She can’t express herself, at all, barely be co own person, without her parents trying to have a say in co life. They seem like the picture-perfect family of a commercial, but Kairi knows how co feels about it.

Splitter Girl: she has a shitty family. Emotional neglect, emotional abuse, sometimes even physical abuse. Her parents aren’t married, but they aren’t split up (Tahira is a bastard kid, like Jordyn.) Her dad’s especially shittier, someone with a short temper and very violent, someone who only thinks of himself, and her parents are constantly arguing and fighting, ignoring her or berating her. Her mother just tends to be numb and sometimes leave and stay out for hours or even days. Tahira has no respect for them, and she is mad at them. Anything can blow her parents up. She prefers to stay 24/7 in her bedroom. The rest of her family are more parental than her parents, but her mother would be worried if anything happened to Tahira, even if she doesn’t show it. They all don’t live too far away. Tahira considers her older cousin of whom she stole the gun from as the brother she never had.

Fainéant Girl: her family is not good, but it could be worse (below average parenting at best.) They used to be emotionally neglectful with her, but they’ve gotten better with it, but they still get into arguments frequently about how she could do more. To Freyja, if her parents and siblings were there or not, it wouldn’t change nor bother her much. They are worried about her and try to be good, but it’s hard because they don’t understand her issues at all, thinking sometimes that she’s faking it because of internalized ableism. Her parents seem picture-perfect outwardly, while her siblings are, to Freyja, “better” than her because of her mother’s comparisons and their social lives; A students, involved in sports, her older sister having a great job and helping out, charismatic fellows. Freyja was, in the end, glad she could leave her house because of everything: they neglected her medically and emotionally and never believing her, by making her feel lesser.

Caliber Girl: her parents saw their daughter’s potential, and… well, forced her to become the burn-out gifted kid archetype. They really loved their daughter, but they would ALWAYS make her do something in excess, always make her be the best, control what she could eat and dress. There was never a moment of rebellion from Nora. They were against Nora’s transition at first, but they accepted it after sometime. They never saw how much they hurt their daughter, and even if they did… well, perfection first, they have priorities for their daughter to “succeed.” And while Nora seems to have succeeded, she’s unhappy because of it. Her older brother helped her when her parents were busy, making Nora really close to him, because he didn’t conditionally love her.

Chocolate-Box Girl: THEY ARE GREAT! They love their cutie-pie very, very much! They probably taught Morgan how to cook and bake, they gave her cute plushies and jewelry (which she got very attached to.) They often have outings together. They have plenty of nicknames for her. They feel very guilty when they discovered about Morgan being groomed, for not knowing how to help her. They still take care of Morgan, even if the relationship has grown VERY distant. She felt deeply abandoned by them because of how they never stopped her relationship with… them…

Taxidermy Girl: a physically abusive and emotionally abusive mother, even if she worries about Mayra. Her father wasn’t around, only her mother, grandmother and aunts. Mayra is terrified of her mother and aunts, because they say about every horror story men can do, and her mother blames Mayra for having been SA’d, even when she was just a kid. They terrified Mayra because of their treatment, trying to help her by trapping her in her own house, never leaving her alone, and all their generational trauma. Her mother projects her own issues, traumas and fears onto Mayra, like her mother did to her, causing an intergenerational trauma from grandmother to mother to daughter.

Refraction Girl: normal, average parenting. She was closer to her father, which I assume is dead. It’s definitively nothing special, not being like Morgan’s parents (deeply loving her) or Tahira’s parents (being violently and neglectfully shitty.) Nataana felt unfulfilled with the relationship she had with her parents, and once her father died, she never truly left the grief and likely writes songs about him (or grief in general.) Her father gave her more attention than her mother.

Chemical Girl: HER MOTHER SUCKED. OKAY?! Her mother was likely an ableist, dragging her daughter to ABA (ew) and denying her daughter was Autistic. Emotionally and physically abusive, she yelled at her for the littlest reasons, would emotionally neglect her, or leave her alone for hours on end. Her father (I imagine her parents are divorced) was only slightly better, but also with mood swings, leaving Joy in an inconsistent or neglectful and abusive household. Her mother only started seeking treatment when Joy was a teenager, mostly leaving her with her father, and although he was caring, he was still too unstable to take care of another person. So it got worse for her, she was either unloved or left alone. She felt deeply unloved as a kid, and she tries to please everybody, and isolates herself when she’s about to explode emotionally.

Nurse Parallel: she has Dissociative Identity Disorder. That speaks for itself, really. … Poor Xiomara (for what I imagine.)

[munch-mumbles]

realizing this is as good as it gets

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]

a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious

i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me

as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy

[guinevereslancelot]

starting to kind of date someone right before christmas is so stressful fr. do i get him a gift or what we've been on two dates but i'm seeing him tonight n it's christmas eve.....but what if he didn't get me anything then it will be weird.....

[anti-transphobia]

Everyone posts about how Stardew Valley is a cozy LGBT+ inclusive game but NO ONE mentions the lack of a platonic option for the bachelors/bachelorettes. Which would be good for aspec people and also just more pleasant for many casual players I believe but that's not even the point. I just want to become best friends with everyone and not only does that require me dating everyone at once and feeling like a sleazebag because of it (ik the bad cutscene can be avoided but I know in my heart they'd be hurt if they knew) BUT it also means the women flirt with me!!!!! Constantly!!!!!!! It makes me sick to my stomach. Truly ruining the characters I liked

[bitchfitch]

hello people who live in my phone. why did my computer take a dozen screenshots of the Minecraft video settings menu instead of the game while I was walking around taking pictures of the house i built? I'm sad :(

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It

[eccentriccryptid]

.

[paging-possum]

Who up listening to good luck babe by chappell roan and having it resonate not in the way intended but resonating nonetheless. About to go ham in the tags about the overlap of being a lesbian and being aromantic...if u even care....

[orcelito]

So I was chatting with my fellow very mentally ill queer coworker friend about mental illness (as we do) and I mentioned how I was realizing that my wildly manic depressive response to grief wasn't... normal...

& they were like 'oh my god Yeah I've been suspecting you're bipolar for a While now' bc apparently I get in... modes... where my pupils are Huge and I'm talking a mile a minute and doing 4 things at once and even my Posture is different

And then I'll come in the next day like all the life's been sucked out of me.

& she mentioned there's type 1 and type 2, 1 being the longterm episodes & 2 being them alternating on a day to day basis. And I'm just like... damng... I sure do seem to have that 2 thing...

Apparently it's not normal to alternate between manic and depressive states! Who knew!

[aeide-thea]

god i know that complaining abt fic which most of you haven't read, and which i won't, for politeness' sake, identify in this post, is a great way to come across as both dickish and boring—

but i've been rereading a very long, very satisfyingly plotty series that's a fandom darling and the thing is, when you read like 400k of an author's work at once it really starts to become painfully apparent what their priorities are, by which i mean two things:

holy shit they're obsessed with 'what if strong powerful men who could hurt you didn't (but did hurt Bad Guys) (and it was sexy of them),' which leads into

holy shit they do not appear to have thought through the implications of saying 'i will have my heroes take over the same power structures that have enabled abuse, make no real changes to those structures other than swapping out the leadership, and then claim that everything is wonderful now bc Good Men Are In Charge'??

like. i don't necessarily need every passing fantasy to present me with a coherent, revolutionary system of politics and ethics—sometimes things are just fun and sexy and not especially Examined and that's fine!—but by the time someone's written literally almost half a million words, and done a lot of worldbuilding while they were at it, i am going to start squinting if they seem to think a Good Man can e.g. become an emperor by killing off the leadership of multiple countries and installing puppet kings loyal to him and still remain a Good Man, even if the justification was that the original leadership was maltreating its citizens and deserved to be extrajudicially executed. like. this shit was a bad, autocratic move when the US did it in real life and it's still bad now that you're having our mutual blorbo do it in fiction! and that's not even getting into the whole thing where like. they've got servants who the Good Man and his friends ""treat well"" but who very much remain second-class citizens in terms of how the story actually frames them and their concerns. [this was also a huge issue i had with foz m*adows' most recent book—everyone wants to write about fantasy nobles but they also want to make them good people and it's like. honestly i think it might be better to get comfortable writing about flawed people, but also—if your aristos aren't treating their servants like equals and your text isn't either, you haven't actually cracked the Moral Aristo paradox, sorry!] like, there's nothing that says your story has to depict a fully Healed World, nor should there be! but it's troubling if you seem to be convinced you've written one (and have your wide-eyed love interests constantly marveling at it!) when you very patently haven't.

[thedreadvampy]

thought too hard about my adolescence made myself sad 🥲

[whispering-kavka]

the struggles of today proved to me that i might indeed be a little mentally unwell