#i have been sick as a dog since i woke up and am just now somewhat morphing back into a person. i think

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part 60)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Age-Gap, Triggers, Smut

"Actually, I am sorry, but I should get some sleep. I am heading back to Dublin tomorrow after filming ," he said catching a hint of suspicion in his voice.

"That's okay Cill. Maybe next time? I am back on set in two weeks and we could have that drink then," Annabelle  replied, trying to hide her disappointment.

Cillian couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. He knew that he had led her on, but he couldn't bring himself to cross the line with her. Not when there was still a chance that he could work things out with you one day. Despite, the attraction he felt towards her was literally zero, so

he knew that he couldn't let himself fall down that rabbit hole, especially when there was a child involved.

With that, Cillian said his goodbyes, and headed back to his apartment before, on the following day, after a busy day on set, he took the last plane home to Dublin, arriving at around 11 o'clock that night.

He was excited to see Mara tomorrow and did not yet know that she had been quite unsettled all day when she was with you. As usual, he ignored your calls and you refused to message him if this was how he wanted things to be.

Despite, you figured that Mara just had a cold. It wasn't the first time she got sick and ran a fever, and you knew it was just a matter of monitoring her condition and making sure she got enough rest.

By the late evening, her fever had gone down, and she was sleeping soundly until, sometime around one o'clock that night, her coughing woke you up.

It was loud and unlike anything you have ever heard before. It was almost like a deep bark, combined with the sound a small dog would make, only amplified. You immediately got up from your bed and went straight to her, holding her in your arms.

By the time you jolted towards her, she was crying inconsolably. Her tiny little body racked with shivers and the cough became worse pretty quickly. 

It was clear that this wasn't just a run-of-the-mill cold. Panicked, you quickly scooped Mara up and called your mother who, expectedly, did not answer. 

While you tried ringing your mother, Mara's cough got better again before picking up once more. This time, it was even louder than before and you contemplated driving her to the hospital. 

You had no idea what was wrong with Mara and, in your frantic state, you couldn’t help but think of the worst-case scenarios. You tried to calm yourself down by taking deep breaths and repeating positive affirmations, but it was proving to be a daunting task.

In the end, and in your state of panic, you tried to call Cillian who seemed to be much calmer in situations like this. When Mara hurt herself on the playground, he was the one who calmed you down but now, with the way things were between you, you only dialed his number reluctantly.

It rang several times before he picked up, confused and tired. "Fuck Y/N, it's one o'clock. Is everything alright?" he murmured into the phone, already fearing that something was wrong since, usually, you wouldn't call him at this hour.

"Cillian, I-I'm sorry to call so late, but Mara, she's-she's sick and I don't know what to do," you said, tears welling up in your eyes as you struggled to get the words out.

"Y/N, you need to calm down," Cillian said, his tone immediately changing from groggy to alert. "What's wrong with her?" he then wanted to know while Mara started coughing again in the background.

"She has a high fever and she's been coughing a lot. It sounds really bad, Cillian,"  you replied, your voice shaking as you tried to stay calm for Mara's sake.

There was a brief pause, and when Cillian spoke again, his voice was filled with concern. "I'll come over," he then said, already getting dressed and running down the stairs of his house. "It sounds like she has croup," he continued, as he unlocked his car and you did not know what he was talking about.

"What?" you  mumbled, confusion clouding your already panicked mind.

"Croup," Cillian repeated, as he started the engine of his car. "Max used to get it too when he was younger.  I will be there in a sec,"  he said, already on his way.

Meanwhile, you held Mara tightly, trying to comfort her as best as you could. Her body trembled with every cough and her color looked drained. The look in her eyes was one of fear and confusion, making it harder for you to maintain your composure.

When Cillian arrived two minutes later, you already walked to the door, hearing his car pull up in the driveway. You opened the door, not bothering with formal greetings, as Mara coughed loudly.

"She's been doing this for the past half hour, and I tried to give her medicine to bring down her fever but, it's still really high," you acted out your worried expression to show him, pulling Mara closer to you.

"Dada," she moaned, her little voice barely audible above the harshness of her coughs. The sight of her in distress pierced Cillian's heart and a raw, primal protectiveness surged through him, filling him with determination to do whatever it took to make her feel better.

"Let me take her," he said, reaching for Mara, but you hesitated. "She's defiantly got croup. She sounds exactly what Max used  to sound like when he had it," Cillian repeated, as he held Mara tightly in his arms, trying to soothe her by gently rubbing circles on her back. He could feel her little body shaking from the force of her coughs, and his heart ached at the sight of her looking so small and helpless.

"What's croup?" you asked, your mind whirling with questions and fears for your daughter's health. Cillian looked at you, a steady gaze in his eyes as if trying to reassure you with his presence alone.

"It's just a shitty cough some kids get when they are sick," he answered, softly. "I've been through this before with Max, too many times actually. He used to get it once every two months," Cillian explained before carrying Mara upstairs and you followed him quickly. 

He held Mara tightly in his arms while walking into the bathroom and turning the shower on to full steam. 

"What are you doing?" you  asked, your voice barely above a whisper as you watched Cillian turn on the shower and make the bathroom fill with steam.

"The steam helps," he barely said before kicking off his shoes and helping Mara out of her Pjs, leaving her in her nappy only while she cried and coughed.  He stepped into the shower with her, making sure she was warm and didn't get too wet.

Cillian knew this would help soothe Mara's swollen airways and help her breathe more easily. He had watched Danielle do the same thing with Max before and as he sat down on the shower floor with her, fully clothed himself, rocking her gently, you couldn't help but calm down.

"Shh, it's alright baby," he murmured softly, running his free hand through her fine, golden hair while he maneuvered to keep the water away from her face with another hand. Mara let out a weak cry, momentarily quieting down only to resume coughing again a few seconds later.

The cough, however, took on a different tone. It was gentler , more subdued. Mara settled down into Cillian's arms, her tiny frame fitting perfectly against his own. Cillian held her fiercely, gratitude washing over him as he realized just how much he loved this child. He loved her beyond all measure, more than any person or thing he had ever encountered in his life.

"Do you have ibuprofen or paracetamol?" he asked, his tone gentle.

"Yes, I have both," you replied, your voice filled with relief. "She had paracetamol four hours ago though, so I will get some iboprofen. I will be right back,"  you said before heading towards the kitchen and rummaging through the cabinet for the medicine. When you returned to the bathroom, Cillian was holding Mara still, the steam surrounding her as she sat on his lap and you couldn't help but marvel at how powerful and protective he looked beside the vulnerable little figure of your daughter.

You handed the cup of ibuprofen to Cillian who tried hard to convince Mara to take it. She shook her head and whined until, finally, she took the spoonful from Cillian and swallowed it reluctantly. You counted the minutes, watching as Mara's cough subsided little by little, her breaths growing steadier and her fever gradually decreasing.

By the point she fell asleep, Cillian was drenched and stood up, handing her to you, wrapped up in a towel.  He looked exhausted but had a small, tired smile on his lips when he handed her to you. 

"She'll be okay," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper and you suddenly began to cry, which was something he did not expect.

"Y/N, I said she will be okay. What's wrong?"  Cillian asked, concern etched on his face as he looked at you. You were standing there in the bathroom, holding Mara who was now fast asleep in your arms. Your body was shaking with silent sobs and your eyes were overflowing with tears.

You were overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with relief that Mara was okay, overwhelmed with gratitude for Cillian and his help, overwhelmed with emotions that you hadn't felt in a long time.

"Nothing, I just...I am fucking useless at this," you said in a small voice, your shoulders sagging in exhaustion.

Cillian frowned, taking a step closer to you. "No, you're not," he said, reaching out to gently squeeze your shoulder. 

"Yes I am. I mean look at us. I had to call you because I did not know what to do and you knew exactly what she needed. I am a shit mother," you said, the tears streaming down your face.

"That's not true," Cillian said, moving closer towards you and caressing Mara's hair, soothing her some more. "In fact, I think you are the most amazing mother there is, doing all those things you do for her on your own most days," Cillian said, looking you straight in the eyes, willing you to believe him. "Plus, the only reason I knew what to do was because I lived through this already with Max. I took him to the ER the first time he coughed like this and being a paranoid parent is normal. It's good. It's natural to worry, you know," Cillian said, his soothing voice echoing through the bathroom. 

"Thanks Cillian, but I don't know. Some days I feel like a failure  as a mother," you whispered, still gripping Mara tight against your breast.

Instinctively, Cillian moved closer and gave you a warm, comforting hug without disturbing his sleeping daughter in your arms. "You're not a failure, Y/N. Don't talk that way," he said, looking into your eyes with a tight-lipped smile. You eased back into him, slowly relaxing as his arms encircled you. "Look, you did everything right. You noticed Mara was sick and you called," he reassured you before pulling away and clearing his throat.

"I should probably head back home now though," he then  said, taking a step away from you.

"No, please stay. I don't want to be alone. Not after this scare," you replied, your voice soft and pleading as you looked up at him, hope gleaming in your eyes.

Cillian hesitated for a moment, torn between what he should do and what you were asking him to. 

"Okay," he eventually said, his voice barely audible as he made up his mind. "I'll stay," he told you and you nodded quickly.

"Thank you," you murmured, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. "I will just put Mara down and then get you some dry clothes, okay?" you suggested, seeing how you still had half a shelf full of Cillian's stuff, sitting in the guestroom. 

"Sure," Cillian agreed, nodding his head in acceptance before drying himself off a little while you carried Mara upstairs and placed her gently into the spare cot in your bedroom, so that she would be close by. 

You then gathered a t-shirt and pair of boxers from the guest room and  handed them to Cillian who changed quickly.

Despite your initial hesitation, having Cillian around brought a sense of comfort that you hadn't realized you were missing.

Together, you sat in the living room for a moment, calming down and basking in the silence that surrounded you after the chaos earlier. Then, you decided to return to bed, and Cillian followed you up, taking a book from the shelf in the guest room and resting it on the nightstand beside his side of the bed.

Despite feeling exhausted from his busy day, Cillian knew that sleep wouldn't come easily tonight as he was being in your house again, which was something he had tried to avoid.  He sighed and looked at the time on his phone. It was already 3 in the morning, yet he couldn't shake off the feeling of unease that had settled in his chest.

On one hand, he was relieved that Mara was okay, and her condition had improved significantly after the steam treatment earlier. However, on the other hand, Cillian couldn't help but feel a mix of guilt and frustration over how things had unfolded between you in recent times. 

The following morning, after as little as five hours of sleep, you woke to the smell  of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of soft footsteps coming from the kitchen.

Cillian was already up, busy baking pancakes and when you turned over, you noticed that Mara was gone from her cot. 

You had heard her about an hour ago, but thought she had gone back to sleep, which was obviously not the case, so you got up and made your way downstairs.

"Mummy is up I think," Cillian  called from the kitchen as you entered and Mara smiled, calling out 'mama'. 

"I didn't realize you got her up?" you asked, a little tired and confused and Cillian explained to you that he came in to check on her,  realizing that she was wide awake and seemingly remained quiet to let you sleep.

"She's just been sitting in her cot, playing with Gigi Giraffe," Cillian added, smiling softly at Mara who giggled at his words.

"Gigi" she repeated and you felt your heart swell with warmth at the sight of the two of them together and couldn't help but feel grateful for Cillian's presence. It was nice to have someone else to share the responsibility of taking care of Mara with, especially after the scare from last night.

"Thank you for last night Cillian. I really needed you here," you said, sincerely. And you meant it.

"It's fine Y/N. Honestly," he responded as you made your way towards Mara, hugging her tightly from behind and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Her golden curls tickled your nose and the smell of baby shampoo and clean laundry overwhelmed your senses.

The sense of gratitude shifted inside of you, turning into a warm, fuzzy feeling that you recognized as happiness.

As you let go of Mara, you turned to Cillian who was still standing next to the kitchen counter, watching the scene unfold in front of him.

"I don't know how good these pancakes will taste, but hey, I did make them from scratch," he  said, with a small, shy smile.

You couldn't help but return the smile as you watched him, amazed at how he managed to pull himself together despite the lack of sleep and the chaos of the previous night.

"They look amazing, Cill," you said, your voice sincere as you looked into his eyes. There was a moment of silence between you, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was the kind of silence that spoke volumes, the kind of silence that held a promise of possibilities yet to be explored.

Cillian held your gaze for a beat longer before breaking it, clearing his throat and getting busy with the pancakes.

The rest of the morning passed by in a blur as you and Cillian sat down to enjoy the pancakes while Mara played quietly beside you. You couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment settle over you as you watched Cillian interact with Mara, the way he looked at her with pure adoration and love.

"We should still take her to the doctors and get some meds for when it happens again. There is some stuff they can prescribe which clears it right up," Cillian told you  as you both munched on the pancakes, Mara's plate with a few bite-sized pieces of pancake on it untouched.

"Yeah, I will call the clinic in minute and I can take her, unless you want to?"  you asked, already assuming the latter.

"How about we both take her and then, if she feels up for it, we could go somewhere nice for the afternoon? Maybe the park to feed the ducks? Somewhere where she can't get others sick, I suppose," Cillian suggested and, after all that had occurred between you, you were surprised by his suggestion.

"I thought you didn't want us to do these things together anymore, with the new parenting plan and all? " you  said, dabbing your mouth with the napkin as you gazed at Cillian with raised eyebrows.

"I guess I changed my mind Y/N," he admitted, swallowing hard. "I was upset after what happened at my sister's wedding, but I realize that you were right and I was wrong. Mara needs the both of us and this, here, with all of us having breakfast together, is nice, you know?"  Cillian said, his voice soft and sincere.

You found yourself smiling at him, realizing that he was right. You had been so consumed with your anger and hurt over Cillian's sudden change in behavior and the way that everything had unfolded during the past few months, that you had not considered the fact that maybe he was hurting just as much as you were.

You reached out and placed your hand over his, giving it a gentle squeeze of reassurance before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Okay," you simply said.

"Let's take Mara to the clinic and then, if she's feeling up for it, we can head to the park."

The three of you finished your breakfast and proceeded to get ready for the day ahead. As you got dressed and brushed Mara's hair, you couldn't help but steal glances at Cillian, admiring his handsome features and the way he interacted with Mara. Despite the tension between you, it was clear that he loved Mara deeply and you couldn't help but feel grateful for that.

As you finished getting ready and made your way downstairs, you couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation for the rest of the day. It had been a while since you had spent a proper day out with Cillian and Mara and, now that the opportunity had presented itself, you couldn't wait to enjoy it.

The clinic was only a short drive away. Mara slept peacefully in her car seat as you drove, with Cillian sitting silently beside you, lost in his thoughts. When you arrived, you parked the car and gently woke Mara up before making your way inside.

Cillian held gently Mara's hand as you waited in the lobby for the nurse to call Mara's name. Time seemed to drag on, but Mara was content playing with a toy car that Cillian had brought from home for her.

Finally, your name was called and you made your way to the examination room. The nurse took Mara's temperature, oxygen level and listened to her chest before confirming Cillian's earlier suspicion - Mara had croup. The nurse gave you a prescription for a medication that would help if Mara had another croup attack.

She explained how to administer it and what symptoms to look out for. You nodded along, taking it all in, and thanked her as she handed you the prescription.

After the clinic visit, the three of you picked up some more food and made your way to the park  , with Mara securely strapped into her stroller.

The park was bustling with families and children, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of joy as you watched the young children playing and enjoying themselves. You and Cillian fell into an easy conversation, talking about everything and nothing in particular, the tension between you dissolving with each passing moment.

You parked Mara's stroller near the pond and pulled out some food that you had brought to feed the ducks. It was the only place in Dublin where this was permitted and, unsurprisingly, the ducks here were massive and rather friendly.

Mara loved them. She clapped her hands as they waddled over to the food that you'd thrown out for them.

You couldn't help but smile at the sight of your daughter, so full of wonder and delight. And next to her, Cillian seemed just as captivated, his gaze following every movement of the ducks and his touch gentle as he moved a stray strand of hair away from Mara's face.

Cillian was unbelievably good with your daughter.

You watched as he carried on a comical conversation with an oblivious duck, making Mara giggle hysterically. His laughter blended with hers, and you found yourself smiling along with them. For a moment, the world faded away and it was just the three of you, enjoying each other's company.

When Mara became tired of feeding the ducks, you took her for a walk around the park while Cillian packed up the leftovers and disposed of the trash.

"I think she really needs a nap now," you  said, glancing down at Mara who was rubbing her eyes in her stroller. "I don't want to push her too much today, even though she seems to be enjoying herself."

Cillian nodded in agreement, "That's probably for the best. Let's get her home then and I will get out of your hair," he suggested, pushing the stroller alongside you as Mara's eyes started to droop.

"Do you want to stay for dinner maybe? I think Mara would really like that,"  you offered, turning to face Cillian who paused for a moment before responding.

"I mean, I guess that would be alright. If you want me to," he said with a small, awkward smile on his face and you nodded happily.

"Yeah, I do. It's just dinner, so why not?" you said, already mentally planning out a simple meal to cook.

Cillian nodded and the rest of the walk to the car was filled with a comfortable silence. You placed Mara in her car seat and clicked it into place. Cillian then climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine.

As Cillian drove you home, you noticed that he was glancing at you every so often, a thoughtful expression on his face. You turned to him with a raised eyebrow, "What is it?" you asked, reaching out to adjust the volume of the radio.

Cillian hesitated before answering, "I was just thinking about how nice today has been, spending time with you and Mara. It's been a while since we've done that."

You nodded in agreement, "It has. I'm glad we could make today happen. Mara really needed it, and so did I."

Cillian smiled at you, a genuine and warm smile that reached his eyes. "Me too," he said, his voice soft and sincere.

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter @smailaway @sophiaaguirred @blondie-22

[legostars]

DOGDAY X READER

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Note from Author: Well, I made this At 4:00 Am early in the morning. And also, you're a female y/n and I'm tired of calling them/they/blah blah.

I'm still figuring out how to colour my texts, so you guys are stuck with non colour ones, yay...

Just a quick reminder that I barely post like tomorrow or next week, it depends if I get busy at school. Welp, that's all. Enjoy the story, and I might make it longer by time. ENJOY MY LITTLE LEGO STARS!

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

"Well, that's the end of the tour!"

"Thanks, dogday. I was expecting that the other employees would be the ones to give me a tour... But, I guess they were busy." Nope. They weren't busy. They were lazy. "Oh, hahaha! Well, I get that a lot too, angel." He laughs and then you hear him calling you an angel again.. strange, nobody called you that. "Um, can I ask a question?" "Hm? Sure!" You were getting embarrassed of the question but you pulled it off. "Why do you.. keep calling me angel? I mean I have a name." Dogday was quiet for a moment, you felt awkward for asking that question and you can barely feel your face getting warm from the embarrassment. "You know what! Never mind... Haha..." Dogday laughs seeing you getting all nervous. "No need to be nervous, besides. The reason I called you angel, is because i- uh- like calling you that. Yeah!" Awkward. Y/N looks around to find a change of subject. The only thing that comes to her mind is the statues of the smiling critters. "Oh, Uh.. can you tell me more about yourself.. and the other smiling critters?"

Dogday's tail wags a little from excitement. "Well, I don't mind! As you heard from Tiffany. I'm dogday! The leader of the smiling critters! And you probably can meet the others and they might introduce themselves properly to you!" Dogday was very cheerful about it as you can tell by his tail wagging. "Okay! I'm y/n and I'm 22 years old, my favourite colour is red. And I love to eat cookies!" Dogday smiled at you. "Well, the introduction has been confirmed to both of us. And also, you have to keep your eyes with the others to see no one is getting any Problems." You nodded as he began to point at your office.

"Okay, keep a watch at the others and do my job. Got it!" Dogday smiled as he patted your head.

"I know you can do it, angel!" You felt a flutter in your heart.. what.. what is this feeling? Am I sick?

(Girl you stupid).

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––It's been a week since you started working there. You met three smiling critters along the way, craftycorn, picky piggy, and hoppy hopscotch. The others are you haven't quite met yet. Day by day, the children loved how caring and loving you are, they even started to call you mama. You're not used to it but you tried. Dogday got even close to you, every time he gets a chance he would come and hang out with you. (Ah, young love. 🤭)

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––After you arrive in playcare at 5:00 Am, since you woke up Prettyyy early in the morning. You went to your office and sat down, you stretched your body and yawned. "Man... I woke up so early I couldn't even go back to sleep... I want some coffee now.." you groan and sighed. And then you noticed a clipboard on your side of the desk, you picked it up and read it. Your first task was to give the smiling critters baths, your second task was to wake the children up and the others are for later. "Hm... A bath- oh. Dogs hates water... The others might enjoy but for catnap... Ugh... This is going to a lot more harder..." You groan as you rubbed your face with both of your hands. And then you thought for a second.. then realised that you might meet the other critters. "I should probably get started.. since it's 5:26 am.." you got up from your chair and started to walk to where the smiling critters are sleeping. You felt kinda nervous tho, you don't like disturbing people from their sleep. At their room of where they sleep, you noticed below the door that the lights are turned on. You knocked on the door 3 times but no answers, strange you knock again but 6 times, yet no answers.. you open the door a little and take a peek, then.. someone pulled you in to make and it made you caught off guard. "Oof!" You landed on the floor and immediately got up. "Holy mother of cookies from heaven. I almost got a heart attack." You look up, and saw all of the smiling critters except for catnap. Dogday was in front. "Angel?" "Okay, why on earth did you pull me and almost give me a heart attack?" The other smiling critters chuckles and laughs a little. "S-sorry angel.. we thought you were some sort of a bad guy.." You sighed looking up at him. "You did hear me knocking 3 to 6 times, right? You know what, never mind.. come on now all of you.. I have to give each of you all a bath.." Dogday flinched and started to back away. "U-um dogday?" The craftycorn was confused seeing dogday backing away. "Hm? What's wrong dogday?" "I... I don't like baths..." Dogday claims himself scared of baths. And kickin chickin starts to laughs. "Don't be such a coward, dogday! It ain't gonna be that bad!" As kickin keeps laughing bobby bearhug pinched kickin. "Ow! Ow! BB! Stop!" "Stop being such a bully to dogday, kickin." You sighed and went over to dogday. "Dogday, what's wrong? You can tell me, and I'll try a way to make you feel less scared." Dogday thought about it for a moment. Before dogday was the one who was going to speak, picky piggy was the one who speaks first. "It's probably because of how the other employees bathe us..." She said, you tilted my head from confused as bubba bubbaphant came in front to tell the other details. "Well, they put us in a cage... And just spray water on us like were some kind of a... Animal..." (*LE GASP* HOW DARE THEY>:0)

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

After knowing and understanding the situation, I sighed and walked over to hoppy. "Do you have a pillow that I can borrow?" Hoppy was confused but she gave you a pillow, you took the pillow and shoved it to your face and screamed in anger making the other smiling critters confused.. you were done screaming your anger out and gave back the pillow. "Ahem. I'm fine, I'm not mad at your situation. I am mad at those employees for treating you all like some animals.." the smiling critters were surprised about that including dogday. "You guys deserved better than being an animal in a cage... I can even relate how that feels..." Craftycorn then asked. "What do you mean... By that?" You stayed quiet... Staring at the floor... "It's... Nothing... We should probably get you all some baths before the playcare opens..." The smiling critters can feel that something is wrong but they didn't want to ask and just nodded. (Time skips in the bathroom) At the bathroom you told the smiling critters to take off their pendants and put them somewhere, and you also told them that dogday will be last. The smiling critters understand and follow your orders. During giving a bath from each smiling critter you ask them how their day was, it was awkward at first but they eventually told you. There laughing and chuckling curing gave them each a bath, it took 20 minutes or more. After the others are down with baths and drying, dogday was the last. He took a peek at the door, while you were busy getting the giant tub ready for him. He was hesitant but what he had heard from the others, by saying she's kind,caring, and loving it made him feel confident to trust you. "Dogday! You can come in now." Dogday slowly walked in and sat in the tub. You started to spray water on him it took 3 minutes to get him wet. (Just like my dog) you then put vanilla shampoo on him and started to scrub with a big brush. "So, dogday.. since we have known each other for a week now, tell me... How was your day." "It.. was fun.. you get to play with children seeing them laugh together and chasing each other and seeing them enjoy themselves." I smiled giving him a scratch on his head. "You're such a good boy, dogday. You really are." Dogday's tail wags happily. After 30 minutes of laughter and giving a bath to dogday, it's finally time to dry him up with a blow dryer. "You're such a good boy, dogday! You look more handsome and cute!" Dogday blushes slightly and wags his tail. "Thank you, angel."

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

After getting all the smiling critters except for catnap a bath. It was time for the playcare to open up. But, you have been thinking... Where is catnap?

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

PART 3?

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Note from Author: Well... In part 3 I might put the dark backstory of Y/N, for fun of course. But also, if your wondering Is dogday in this story a human version of him or is dogday in this story is in his original version? It depends on you and your imagination. And also! I recommend seeing @sinnersweets Stories! They are very heart beating Stories (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) Well, see you in part 3! Toodles my Little Lego star devils! (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥

(This is kinda short..)

[fuwaprince]

HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP PLEASE

Hi everybody, how are we doing? I hope you're enjoying the beginning of fall. Now that I'm done just being hospitable, can I just be honest? Can I vent? Can I be heard? Am I allowed to express my hurt? Can I please request for aid?

I am struggling to all hell. On and off the streets and been homeless since June 1st. I don't need resource information- I need immediate relief in the form of financial support. My partner and I are doing our best to be strong but being strong does not help when we're in the position where we're lucky just to eat, or do laundry. Over this summer I have been robbed of my possessions (cards, clothes, cash, toiletries, my phone... all of which I struggled to get to begin with). I have been sexually assaulted and put through violent situations. Detained because people LIED and I guess that means guilty until proven innocent. Woke up undressed for reasons unbenounced to me in a house fire surrounded by flames and SOMEHOW, unfortunately survived. Somehow contracted a disease that has no fucking cure. I have reached out to EVERYONE I KNOW BEGGING FOR HELP. I have taken so much shit in exchange for the smallest amount of help, for food, for access to medical attention or a shower or for privacy. I have been homeless with a 103 degree fucking fever that lasted for days and got no help because I was too sick to move. I crawled to a shower and sat on the floor hoping my brain wouldn't melt (which it begins to at such temperatures btw). All this did not happen because I'm "lazy" or "a bad woman".

I am a woman presenting person who probably should have just been born in the right body or into the right wealthy ass family. I am in my 20s. I have been told I would make a great prostitute but I wasn't even made for of- nor am I interested. My abusive ass neglectful ass family are not helping me through my situation and my mom tells me I deserve it so that she doesn't have to cry while listening to me explain how bad things have gotten. I have a stab wound on my neck. I have burns on my body. I did not put those there myself. How could anybody deserve any of that? How could anybody do nothing to help? How can you just look at me and pessimistically say, "good luck". Or give the apathetic and unhelpful "me too" response.

My partner lost his dog after the fire. Can you imagine having to pretend like that doesn't matter because you have to worry about food? Can you imagine trying to provide emotional support because red cross never called back after you requested for health services? When your school says they can't help you because it's out of the budget???? "LIMITED FUNDS" they say. I was on the Dean's honor roll for TWO semesters in a row, almost close to getting my BA (just a few classes away). I was a student leader. UNTIL I had to finally say fuck that shit and drop. I have enough credits to graduate but I do not see how the fuck I'm going to survive until 2025.

I need help! Please help? Words of encouragement are appreciated but please help me raise enough for a down payment for a car to live in. That is what I'm asking for, at least for winter. I would like an apartment but California is so outrageous with prices, all I can hope for realistically is a car. Anything would help. Nothing is expected.

Please rb this post, if you can, it helps.

Always remember to maintain your humanity and that love persists.

Garlic haters DNI

my paypal is @garyanne

[arielburrow]

A touchdown to remember

Thank you for this beautiful request! I hope I followed the storyline to your liking. TW: mentions of pregnancy/miscarriage

“She’s so beautiful.” You smile as you coddle your sisters newborn. You adore her with your whole heart, but can’t help to feel a little saddened by the thought of her as well. Your sister had brought up the idea of pregnancy just a few months after being married, and before you knew it, she was growing a bump. You and your husband on the other hand, haven’t been so lucky.

Last season was a roller coaster of emotions for both you and Joe. The pressure of Joe’s rising fame, a successful playoff run, and trying to start a family was a lot to say the least. Joe assured you he was ready and that this was what he wanted, but you two just hadn’t had any luck. You were starting to get worried and even visited your OB who assured that you were in fact fertile and would be for many more years. You two spent the off-season traveling and relaxing together. It was a much different environment than during the season; however it was about to be that time of year again.

September was your favorite month. Not only because it was your birthday, but it felt like a signal month. A signal for football season, a signal for a weather change, and a signal for the holidays. Arguably some of your three favorite things.

“Joe!” You call out, arriving home from your sisters. You find him reviewing some film upstairs and wrap your arms around his body. “Hi y/n” he smiles looking at you rest your head on his in the reflection of the mirror. “How’s the baby?” he asks. “She’s good, she’s healthy and Fara says she’s right on track for all her measurements.” He pauses the film and turns to you, “That’s good to hear.” He stands up and pulls you into his arms. You giggle as he squeezes, pulling you onto the bed with him. He lies next to you and leans in to kiss you. He rolls on-top of you and hovers over your mouth. “Joe, I don’t know, I’m not really in the mood for more disappointment.” You shrug.

“hey…that is not the attitude we need right now. You know anytime can be the time.” He raises his eyebrows convincingly. “I know it’s hard baby, but we can’t give up. This is what we’ve wanted for almost a year now.” You nod and pull him into your lips.

3 weeks later

“I know, I know, tell everybody i miss them and i’ll see them soon. Okay, love you, bye.” You hang up with Robin and frown to yourself. This was the first game of the season, and you were sick as a dog. It was only 10 am, but tailgating had already begun and had people looking for you. Joe left before you woke up, you felt him kiss you goodbye just minutes before hurdling to the toilet to throw up. Since then you have been lying in bed, trying to rest enough to make it to the actual game.

You thought for some time about what could have gotten you sick. You hadn’t gone anywhere out of the usual recently, you and Joe had been home as he prepared for the season. You decide to stand up and try to walk around for a bit, feeling the nausea where off a little. As you step down the stairs, a notification goes off on your phone. Looking at the screen, you see the message from your period app, but you don’t even have to read the notification to know what it says. Your phone hits the step below you.

Suddenly the symptoms you were feeling seem to evaporate, as your mind drifts somewhere else. You sprint down the stairs to find where you had stored the pregnancy tests. The cabinet that before held so much sadness, might possibly hold hope. You run back upstairs with the box in hand and fiddle with the box until you finally get it open.

Your hands shake as you wait, you had the test upside down on the bathroom counter and you just stared at yourself in the mirror. You heard your phone ding, but didn’t dare break eye contact with the mirror. After about 20 minutes you finally talked yourself into turning over the stick. As you do so, your heart drops.

Two lines.

You immediately felt tears roll down your cheeks as you knelt to the floor. You examined every inch of the test, making sure you were seeing right. You went ahead and took two more after that, which both revealed the same result. You were having a baby.

It was now about an hour till kick off, and you had yourself composed as much as possible. Getting ready to leave, your mind raced with ways to tell Joe. A Burrow onesie? A poster? A cake? You couldn’t decide on what to do, but you knew you wanted to tell Joe ASAP.

Arriving to the suite, you catch up with everyone and assure that you were just fine. You sit through the game with a huge smile on your face, one that only grows as you watch Joe run off the field after beating the Browns.

You find him immediately after and he pulls you in for a tight hug. “Hey you! I heard you weren’t feeling good what happened?” he asks sounding concerned. “I think I just had a little stomach bug or something, but i’m good now!” You assure kissing him. After he says goodbye to his family and you hug everyone, the two of you depart to your separate cars. Driving home your mind is racing, you had to tell him now. You didn’t have any cute surprise or anything but you just couldn’t wait. This was the one thing the two of you had been aching to get for months, and you wanted him to savor every moment right along with you.

You get home before him and grab the test from upstairs and slide it into your back pocket. You hear the front door open and head back downstairs. “Jesus, didn’t realize you were an F1 driver?!” Joe laughs walking in the door. “Yeah…I just…had to pee really bad.” You lie as you both walk into the kitchen. He puts his stuff down and leans against the counter taking you in with his eyes. “You good?” he curiously questions. “Never better. You just got the first win of the season my love.” You smile and peck him on the lips. “Wanna order food? I’m starving.” He says picking up his phone, but your eyes stay glued to him. “Yeah, just, here come sit down i want to show you something.” You say leading him to the kitchen table. He sits and eyes you curiously. “Okay so…I might have lied about the whole stomach bug thing.” You say slowly reaching into your back pocket as Joe eyes you. You pull out the stick and hand it to him, watching every detail of his reaction. You watch as he accepts the test, than scans it, then finally takes in what he’s seeing in-front of him. You watch him look up to you with glossy eyes. “y/n…this is…you’re…we’re having a baby?” his voices goes higher as he stands up in question. You smile and nod with tears streaming down your face.

You immediately wrap your legs around his waist as he picks you up in a spin. You both giggle in a stream of tears and he places you back down. “Oh my god, we’re gonna be parents!” he exclaims excitedly. You had never seen him so overjoyed about something, he looked more elated than the day he won a national championship. “Joey…” You cup his cheeks and pull him close to you. “I love you so much.”

“I love you y/n”

The next couple of weeks felt like you had stepped into a whole new life. You were now managing doctor’s appointments and morning sickness continued to hit you like a brick. Joe went to as many appointments as he could, but for the most part you were on your own. Which was fine because all that mattered to you was the fact that you were carrying a healthy 7 week old baby.

The last couple of weeks have been filled with football and family, which is always the case especially in the beginning of the season. That being said, keeping the secret from both of your parents would have been impossible. You guys took them out to dinner last night and surprised them with “Baby Burrow” onesies and a picture of your first ultrasound on top. Of course there were a lot of happy tears and a lot of hugging. It made the moment feel so much more real to you. You also insisted that they keep quiet, given your plan to keep the baby a secret until later in the pregnancy.

Sitting through games through the middle of the season with family and friends always made you feel so warm for your little one. You were so excited for him or her to come into this world because you know they’d have a village of people for support. The hardest part of keeping the secret was avoiding alcohol. Your “headache” excuse had only worked for about two games, before you had to start pretend drinking. Although it was hard, it was also fun for you cause you knew once all your friends knew they would be over the moon.

At the beginning of December, Joe insisted on you being forbidden to enter the extra guest room near you’re guys shared master. “It’s a surprise!” he would insist, but it nagged at you everyday.

“Merry Christmas!” You hear Joe yell before you feel him pounce on you, careful to avoid your little bump. “Merry Christmas!” You say bringing him up to your arms. You were very thankful that once the morning sickness subsided, your symptoms were very mild. “I made us pancakes.” Joe says smiling, knowing that was your number one craving. You slid your elf slippers on and headed downstairs following Joe. One thing you two had set in stone was no matter how hectic football season got, you would always put up a tree together. It sparkled above the wrapped gifts, highlighting every ornament on the tree.

You both sat down for breakfast, but Joe was anxious to get to gifts. He wanted you to open his gift for you first of course. “Here. Open” he insists as he hands you the gift from the tree after you sit on the couch. You carefully open the wrapping and the box that sits inside it to reveal a Van Cleef Alhambra bracelet. You’re eyes light up and you smile at Joe. “Joe this is gorgeous! Thank you baby.” You stand up and hug him and he lies his head on yours. “Okay now open yours” you insist but he shakes his head. “wait! I have one more thing for you, cmon.” he leads you upstairs past your shared room and right to the closed door of the room you have been banned from for the last month.

“So i thought this was perfect timing since we decided to announce the baby soon…” He turns the handle and you step into the room, almost tripping as you do. Your mouth hangs open at the sight in front of you. It was the most beautiful nursery you had ever seen. The gender of the baby was still unknown, so the base was mostly neutral for now. There was a backsplash of vines and flowers that resembled a garden. The furniture was all set up and arranged beautifully. The floor had been redone, and the walls were painted a light forest green. “Its kinda boring now, but once we know the gender we can bring in the fun colors and stuff.” Joe says wrapping his arms around you from the back. Your eyes start to tear up, “Joe..this is so perfect…thank you.” You turn to hug him and you both remain there holding each other in awe of the room that would soon house your little one. The thought of Joe putting so much effort into this room, and your child being able to come home to it warmed you in every way possible.

It was now January, meaning you were about four months pregnant, luckily this cold weather meant big-baggy clothes could hide your growing bump. January also meant playoff season. The Bengals were making there way through, looking forward to the divisional round next weekend. You were so excited both for the game, and to finally announce your pregnancy, which you both decided to do after the game.

Today was Monday, meaning Joe was at practice, and you were doing some errands. Walking through downtown was like therapy for you. Joe was worried about you going out by yourself, but he also knew you needed it for your sanity. Walking into a local boutique, you’re greeted at the door and your immediately hit with all the bengals merchandise. This was one of your favorite things about the city, how supportive they were of the team through thick and thin. After the game, you both wanted to have your closest people come back to the house for dinner so you could make the announcement. Joe promised, win or lose, he still wanted to have the dinner; so you were shopping for some decor for the house.

Bringing your bags inside, you smile, thinking of how excited you were to finally let the cat out of the bag. You decide to lay down and rest for a while before Joe comes home. Even doing the smallest thing made you exhausted at this point in pregnancy. You are almost asleep when all of a sudden you feel a sharp pain, almost like a cramp. You sit up and wince at the feeling, confused as to what’s happening. The pain only grows worse, and as you remove the sheet from across you to stand up, you realize what is happening.

Time felt like it stopped, like you kept moving, but everything around you had froze. You weren’t sure when you picked up the phone to call Joe, or when he had ran into the room to find you hunched over in tears, or when you ended up in a hospital bed with a doctor by your side.

Once your mind finally felt like it stopped spinning, it all hit you, the look on Joe’s face, the sympathy from the doctor, the feeling of Joes hand on yours. It all crashed down on you as you let out a sob. You cried in Joes arms, no words were shared, just cried between the two of you. “Joe what happened?” you sniffle, pulling away, and wiping tears from your eyes. “He said they can’t tell exactly…” Joe veers off, “they said maybe a womb structure issue, or an infection, either could be a reason for all the bleeding. They’re running some tests now.” he finishes, wiping his own eyes. “No…I cant, how is this happening? I mean I was so far along, what did i do wrong Joe?” you whimper and his eyes meet yours. “Don’t say that y/n, you know this was not your fault baby, this was not something you could control. Okay? I need you to understand that.” you nod and he leans in to hold you again while you cry. Your mind was a mess. You had it, you had what you wanted, you were so close to being a mom, but it left far too soon.

Soon after, the doctor comes back to explain that there was some kind of infection within the placenta that rarely develops, but when it does, it inhabits wombs that are carrying children for the first time. You couldn’t really focus on what he was saying, but he informed you that your health was in the clear now, and you could go home, but had to get a lot of rest.

Both sets of parents had been in and out of the hospital, supporting you and Joe but also wanting to get everything ready at home.

You were in the hospital for less than 24 hours, but stepping inside your house felt different. Walking up those stairs, with Joe helping you along, the guilt only continues to pile up. As you make the turn to your bedroom, you stop and look at the closed door of the room next door. The room that was supposed to be your baby’s home, would never get to meet him. Him, your baby boy, your baby boy who you never actually got to meet. Your baby boy whose gender was only discovered after you had lost him. Joe kisses your head and urges you to lie down in bed.

Downstairs, you hear a few voices quietly talking. You get yourself out of bed, sick of being in the same spot for so long. Entering the kitchen you see both moms and your sister gathered around the island, with Joe sitting on the couch. All heads turn to you and you offer a small smile. Your sister pulls you into a hug, not saying anything. “We brought some flowers over and cooked some food for you guys. We’ll get going, but we’ll come check up on you guys soon okay?” Your mom says as everyone says their goodbyes. You join Joe on the couch, he opens his arms for you, but you only stay seated near him. He frowns a bit but understands. “How are you feeling?” he asks, “I’m okay, how are you?” you ask. He shrugs and you nod. The T.V plays silently as you both blankly stare at it. “I talked to Zac today, told him i’d be out of practice this week.” you turn to him with curiosity. “Okay…you’re doing that for yourself though right? You’re not doing that because of me Joe…” he shakes his head. “y/n…i need to be here for you. I don’t care if we aren’t even sleeping in the same bed, i’m not leaving this house until i’m sure you’re okay.” You wanted to argue, but didn’t have the energy. Instead you just go back upstairs and run a bath.

The sheets were changed, Robin immediately doing so once she heard the story. The bed was made brand new like nothing had ever happened. The moment you hit the pillows your eyes fall into a deep sleep.

Waking up, you hear voices downstairs and decide to stand up. walking into the kitchen, you notice both you and Joe’s mom and your sister gathered around chatting. Your sister wordlessly hugs you and you offer a smile. “Honey we brought over some food, we’ll get going now, but i’ll call to check on you later okay?” Your mother says. You say your goodbyes and notice Joe on the couch. You sit by him as you both stare at the silent television. “How are you feeling?” he asks. “I’m okay, How are you?” he just shrugs. “I talked to Zac, told him i’m taking the rest of practice this week off. I just don’t think I can handle it and i want to be here with you-” “Joe, i’ll be okay, you don’t need to do this for me.” You cut him off but he shakes his head. “I’m doing it for us baby, I can’t be out there knowing your here alone.” You nod your head and lie back against the couch.

Zac came over to the house later that night and sat down with Joe. He brought flowers and some cookies his wife baked. You thanked him and engaged in some small talk before heading to bed.

Joe and Zac sat at the kitchen table talking. “Listen, this is what is important right now Joe, I know you are capable of greatness, but you have to take care of her first.” Zac says. “I know, that’s why I can’t come to practice this week, but as for the game, i mean i’m not sure…” Joe trails off. “Listen, don’t think about that right now, when the time comes you can make a decision. We have time, it’s only Tuesday. I’ll let the guys know what happened, and as for media. I’ll keep it quiet, I promise,” Zac says. Joe thanks him and walks him out to his car once they finish talking.

The next morning Joe turns over, surprised not to see you there. Downstairs, he notices you curled up on the couch. Making some coffee, his mind runs with what could have brought you down here. “Hi lovie,” you say stretching and standing from the couch. “Hey…you okay?” Joe says hugging you. “Yeah…I just…I couldn’t sleep, I needed a little change.” Joe nods. “What do you want for breakfast?” You shrug and respond that you’re not hungry. “y/n…you have to eat.” Joe insists . He ends up making you avocado toast anyway and watching you as you eat it.

The next few days, Joe saw small improvements in your demeanor, but was still a little worried. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been pushing down his own grief to focus on you. Which, you insisted you didn’t need taking care of. Saturday rolls around and Joe finally had his decision made. You decided you wanted to get out of the house, so Joe drove you to a friends to spend the day with. “Have you decided yet?” You ask Joe in the car. “Yeah…I’m gonna do it.” Joe replied looking over at you. You squeeze his hand, “good.”

Later that night you and Joe lied in bed together holding each other. “I’m glad you’re playing tomorrow Joe. Even if you’re not completely focused, it’s better than you not being there at all.” you say looking up to him. “I know. Are you going to go to the stadium or stay here?” he asks. “I’m going to stay here I think. I don’t think I can handle all the commotion, plus by now everyone probably already knows the news and I don’t really feel like taking about it with everyone.” You say shutting your eyes. “Good, I wanted you to be here anyway, I love you.” he whispers. “I love you too.”

The next morning you shot everyone a text letting them know that you would be home today and you’ll miss them. Joe left a couple of hours ago and you were settling into the couch to focus on the game. Last night was the first night you and Joe had slept in the same bed and it was the best night you’ve had all week. You’re glad you both had this distraction for the time being, and you didn’t want to think about anything but the game. Zac did a really great job at keeping the press mild and many of Joes teammates had reached out to you. You had seen one post from some tabloid about your pregnancy which you were originally pissed about, but decided to let it go.

You watch as the game begins and they take on the Bills at home. Joe was playing good throughout the first quarter, the second one a little rocky and you could tell his mind was somewhere else. At halftime, you made yourself something to eat and stopped when you noticed the ultrasound picture on the fridge. Your heart dropped for a moment and you weren’t sure what to do. You took the picture off the fridge and headed upstairs.

Finally getting yourself to open the door that you have had mentally locked. You gaze over the room as you take in every aspect of it again. It doesn’t bring you the same joy it did before, instead it’s just a reminder of what could have been. You pick up the empty picture frame that Joe had put out on the changing table. He wanted to put the baby’s first bubble bath picture in their. Instead you open the frame, carefully placing the ultrasound picture inside and closing it again. You place it back on the changing table as a tear rolls down your cheek. You only let yourself linger for a moment before leaving the room, and shutting the door behind you.

The second half begins and you watch as the bengals take the first few snaps, making there way down the field. All of a sudden you watch as Joe quickly decides to keep the ball and takes off running. You stand up as you watch him sprint down the field, outrunning every other defender. He quickly makes his way into the end zone and you here the announcer over the television. Touchdown

You clap your hands over your mouth and smile to yourself as they show the whole stadium in cheers. They pan to the sideline where every Bengals player and coach was jumping for joy.

Then they pan to Joe in the end zone and you watch as his knees hit the ground below him and he holds the ball in his hands, staring at it with emotion filled eyes. In an instant his team is surrounding him hugging him and in cheer as they all recognize how big this moment actually is for him. The weight of the world was resting on Joes shoulders all week, this felt like a shift in reality for him and for you. You find yourself in tears once again seeing your husband in such a vulnerable state. You watch as he composes himself on the sideline and even finishes the rest of the game with a win. This was no doubt the hardest thing you and Joe had been through, but you were getting through it together.

[oneshotnewbie]

how are you??

i was looking at your list and saw that you write for the walking dead and was wondering if you’d be willing to do a request on it for me? thank you!!

so it’s basically maggie greene (rhee) x teen!reader where reader is like a daughter or a younger sister to her. it’s nothing special or major, but maybe just a cute little story where reader gets sick or hurt and maggie takes care of her and is all motherly/big sister-like with reader?

also reader’s carl’s age, so i think about fourteen then? again, you can change the age if you need to, i don’t mind!

- 🍄 anon

Authors note: Hey, sweet mushroom. I am doing okay so far, I hope you are doing great! At the same time, I hope you like this little story ♥

ᕚ---ᕘ

The world was a shadowy landscape of ruined buildings, deserted streets and the faint echoes of past civilization. The earth, once vibrant with life, now lay in the grip of a post-apocalyptic silence.

In the middle of this desolate scenario, between rusty walls, lived Maggie with her small "family" - a group of survivors who had come together to survive in this unnatural world. Among them you, whose real name had long been lost in the turmoil of time.

It was the icy wind of a wintry morning that intensified the already bitter cold of the Forsaken Land as an ominous cough snaked its way through the silence of the house. Maggie sensed the icy breath of sickness beginning to spread through the ranks of the community. You, who had previously been a steadfast and indestructible pillar of the group, were among those affected and woke up with a feverish chill.

The symptoms appeared quickly: fever, chills and an exhausted look that bore the marks of suffering. But Maggie, a woman with an aura of determination and keen eye for your needs, recognized the gravity of your situation. Your body heavy, limbs aching, and eyes bloodshot from the fever that burned within you like a raging fire. "Hey, how are you feeling today kiddo?"

"Mags, I feel like I've been torn apart by a pack of wild dogs," you whispered, every movement making your body tremble as the older one approached your bed. Your voice, a faint breath in the gloomy silence, betrayed the exhaustion and weakness that the illness brought with it.

She sat down in an empty spot on your bed and gently placed a hand on your forehead. "You're literally burning. I have to see what I can find to help you. Otherwise the fever will kill you," she spoke with a look that told stories of loss and will to survive as her inner turmoil filled the air. "You want to leave me?"

"Just to get you and the others medicine,“ The group had hardly any remedies left to fight the disease. Medicines were in short supply, and the improvised teas offered no protection against the creeping germs. The post-apocalyptic world was not forgiving, and illnesses often became inescapable judgments. But the woman in front of you refused to just abandon you to your fate. Her connection to you was deeper than anyone else's. You had become like a little sister to her, someone she wanted and even needed to protect and support. "Carol will stay with you for the time I'm gone and take care of you. I'll get back to you as soon as possible. I promise."

With one last goodbye kiss, she left you in bed and set off with Daryl to do everything they could to bring you relief while, without her, time blurred into an endless succession of feverish hours and cough-ragged days.

The sun had long since hidden behind the toxic clouds in the sky when the search for medicine became a fight for survival in the shattered ruins of the buildings. The footsteps on broken glass and the constant gusts of wind blowing through the dilapidated shutters seemed to underscore the urgency of the mission.

She searched for medication in numerous abandoned pharmacies and barricaded doctor's offices. Her hands, battered by the cold and the endless digging through rubble, searched for the glimmer of hope amid the devastation until she finally came across locked cupboards, the only contents of which were a few bottles, expired medication and a few blankets. Maggie wasn't discouraged and took everything she could find. With a tenacity driven by her love for you, she returned to make use of what little she had found.

"Here, take this, sweetheart," she said, handing you a handful of expired medication. "It's not much, but it should at least bring down the fever a little." You smiled weakly and accepted the pills gratefully, barely getting into a sitting position. "Thanks. I don't know how I would do this without you."

She waved it off as if it were obvious. "In these times, we need to stick together. No one should wander alone in the dark. Especially not you," she helped you take the pills and then spread an extra blanket over you. "You're like my little sister, y/n. If something happened to you- I would never be happy again."

Over the next few days, your bedroom became a kind of makeshift hospital room and she began to care for you with a mix of old survival instincts and an unwavering caring nature. Blankets and hot water bottles became weapons in her fight against the invisible threat that took over your body.

The wind howled around the corners and an icy storm raged outside as the brunette spent the next few days cooking soups that she laced with fever-reducing drugs. She woke up by your side nightly, placing wet towels on your hot forehead and whispering soothing words into the darkness while you slept. The nights were long and quiet, interrupted only by the patients' wheezing and the crackling of their movements.

The group watched as the woman, who otherwise seemed so stoic and aloof, cared for you tenderly and self-sacrificingly. The others, who otherwise only knew the harsh reality of everyday life, witnessed a love between strangers that became family and that was more precious than any resource in these times.

Time crawled by and the disease tried to tighten its ugly claws. But Maggie's care and love proved to be powerful weapons. You fought against the disease, strengthened by their tireless help and solidarity support.

You lay weak, but your eyes still sparkled with life. In the quiet moments between feverish bouts, you and Maggie found time to talk quietly. "You have to stay strong, y/n. The world may have fallen apart, but we can't let it break us," she spoke as she cooled your forehead.

You smiled weakly, your eyes glassy with tiredness. "You're like a mother to me, Mags. I really can't imagine what it would be like without you."

Maggie just sighed quietly. "You are my family. I can't imagine what it would be like without you either."

The days passed and the illness slowly faded away like the side after a storm. You struggled back to your feet, strengthened by her unwavering belief in survival. The post-apocalyptic world may have been one of destruction and loss, but in this small corner of reality, humanity shone in its purest form, igniting a flame of hope for every survivor who walked the streets of Alexandria.

[villruu]

Really nice guy who hates only you Alex x Brian?

Anon, anon... Listen, um. Well, this originally had more of a comedic vibe with timetravel splashed in, but then "the red means I love you" snuck up on me and suddenly this happend. I, um. Well.

Enjoy timetravel doomed brilex??

On AO3

This contains canon-typical violence :)

⸻

Alex woke up slowly, woozy and trembling.

His whole body felt off-putting, numb and cold and not entirely his own. It was dark and humid, damp in the way cement only knew how to be, the slight scent of mold typical of abandoned buildings that Alex had come to learn intimately as he searched locations for his film.

Where… where was he?

Last he remembered he had gone to sleep. And, it had been a good dream. There hadn’t been any weird creature in the distance, he hadn’t felt angry, everyone was working together and, and it was just him and his friends having a good time. Brian had been there too, joking, close to him in a way he hasn’t been since he had fallen sick a few weeks ago.

Alex tried to move, but his body felt too slow, muscles barely twitching even as Alex forced himself as much as he could.

It was cold. Too cold.

Was it still night? Where was he? 

He had his pajamas on, though no socks. He didn’t have his glasses on either. When Alex tried again to move, he found something digging painfully into his wrists. Plastic and hard, almost threatening to cut into his skin with each slight movement.

Where the fuck was he?

Steps. The crushing of glass beneath shoes. The swish of clothes moving.

“Hello?” Alex called, voice thin and fearful, “Who’s there?”

Silence.

“Hello?” He repeated, “I… I need help.”

Silence again.

The darkness was absolute. Was even someone there, or was Alex imagining it? 

Alex trembled.

Steps again, closer and closer until Alex could swear he could feel the warm emanating from another living being. Fear sprang to life inside him as a sudden light turned on, the flash blinding him momentarily, leaving him reeling with a pained yelp.

With watering eyes, Alex slowly adjusted to the harsh white light shining on his face. A figure stood in front of him, obscured in the shadows produced by the strong light. It was a flashlight, Alex noticed distantly somewhere in his panic, a big and clunky one, the kind that hikers like to get.

All Alex could see were the dirty black gloves of the figure, covered in dust and some liquid that looked almost black in the light that reflected on the flashlight.

“Who… Who are you?” Alex rasps, voice gaining confidence the longer he goes on, “Did… Did you take me? Where am I? What is this place? What did you do to me—”

Alex’s is abruptly cut off as something whacks him across the face. He groans, wishing he had his hands free to rub at his face. Something wet dripped from his nose, probably blood since Alex doubted it hadn’t been broken, a deep ache coming from his cheek where he had been struck first.

The flashlight looked scuffed on the edges, now.

He has a million questions to ask, a thousand words to say, but he keeps quiet, now weary, like a dog who suddenly learned its owner is also capable of kicking it and not only petting it.

Why is he here? Why him, why out of anyone, him?

The figure doesn’t move. Alex doubts they are even breathing, so still and silent as they are now. Alex watches in silence as they take something from their pocket, probably, the sound of an object dragging across, the shift of clothes. 

A glint of silver. A metal barrel.

A gun, in front of his face.

Alex stays still, frozen, watching the weapon with wide eyes.

“Are….You…” Alex whispers as the gun gets closer to his face, the hand holding it as steady as a mountain.

His dad taught him how to fire a gun, before coming to college. They had spent an entire day practicing with cans and glass bottles near his grandpa’s, in an empty lot close to the forest. His dad had proclaimed that in a state like Alabama, it was best he knew how to defend himself, and had even given him a gun, which Alex kept locked up and hidden deep beneath mountains of trash in the small shed of the house. 

Alex had never gotten over the shakiness of holding onto a real gun.

He wondered how this figure managed to do so.

He can see the edges of the sleeve now, a faded orange, dirty and scuffed. 

The silence stretches between them, like an eternal graveyard.

“This is for the best,” The figure tells him. The voice is familiar, extremely so, but Alex first processes the movement of the gun.

In a fit of desperation, Alex throws his head forward, the metal of the gun colliding painfully with his temples. There’s the sound of metal falling onto the floor, but any relief is short-lived, as the flashlight is brought down on his face again. He struggles, as the flashlight falls to the ground and rolls a few feet away.

He can see the figure more clearly, a dirty faded hoodie, some dirty jeans, scuffed shoes. They lean down, grabbing their gun, and all the fighting abruptly leaves Alex’s body as the figure stands up and the light is finally shining on their face.

Hazel eyes, deep bags, pale face, brown hair. It’s a familiar face. It’s a face that Alex has seen for almost 5 years, it’s a face Alex trusts, it’s the face of his friend.

It 's Brian.

(It’s Brian, Brian his best friend, Brian who he knows from highschool, Brian who he spent countless nights studying with for midterms, Brian who was with him when he adopted Rocky, Brian who joined his film when nobody else would, Brian who found other actors for him.

Brian who everyone loves. Brian who’s the social butterfly of their college. Brian, who Alex trusts with his life. Brian, who has a million friends and yet always makes time for him. Brian, who makes Alex feel like he is seeing the world again. Brian, who Alex can't never stop admiring. Brian, who he loves.

Brian, who is pointing a gun at him. 

Brian, who is probably the one who dragged him here. 

Brian, who he thought was his friend.)

“...Brian?” Alex yet still dares to say, as if hoping saying the name of the other would stop this nightmare, would make the scowling person in front of him transform back into his friend.

Brian stares at him and looks briefly at the flashlight, before simply moving until they’re staring at each other. Alex stares into the sunken gaze of his friend, and wonders what happened. 

“Brian…?” He repeats.

All he gets is a kick to the side, leaving him dropped on his side, curled up like a dying larvae, wheezing.

Brian steps closer. He is standing right above him, gun steady as it points directly at Alex’s head. His eyes are hard and dark.

“Brian,” Alex breathes out, breathing noisily in and out to try and ignore the pain radiating from their side, “Brian, I don’t understand…”

“You know,” Brian says absently, voice light, “It’s a good thing I got dropped back now rather than later.”

Brian smiles. It is not a nice smile.

“After all, who would believe that sweet, naive Brian would ever do anything to hurt his friend? Everyone knows he would die for them,” He gives a bitter laugh, and Alex swears that in the dim lightning his eyes shine almost red, “No, people will just assume whatever else. And after I take care of a few more things, that thing will never hurt another, and neither will you.”

“...You see it too?” Alex said, confused and hurt and unsure, “That, that guy, the one in the—”

“Shut up,” Brian spits, after he kicks him again, “I don’t need it coming to look into what’s happening now.”

Brian gives a brief look around, and Alex shudders, staring at the tall figure in the back, but Brian doesn’t see it, or if he sees it, he doesn’t react.

“I don’t understand…” Alex repeats, voice thin and unsure, “Brian you, you know how to stop this? how to, how do I stop seeing it—?”

Another kick.

“I said, Shut. Up.” Brian snarls, voice dripping hatred in a way Alex had never thought possible, “You don’t deserve help, Kralie. You, you fucked everything up before… If it weren’t for you…”

Brian shakes his head.

“It doesn’t matter,” He says, “With you gone, the group will not stay together. Tim will clearly not keep contact except with me, maybe, and will not spread it anymore. I’ll have to make sure Jay keeps his distance, permanently if necessary, but, right now, the only thing I need to do is get rid of you.”

The gun clicks, safety finally off.

Alex whimpers, static building up in the back of his head as he stares up at the barrel of the gun.

“Goodbye, Kralie.”

The static builds up into a screech, a high pitched screaming that builds up and up and up, and Alex Kralie knows no more.

[captain-mj]

I want the zombie roach AU we discussed.

I am holding your femur hostage.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Steal my bones guys

Ghost remembered the exact moment he knew Roach had died. He woke up in the hospital, still nursing a bullet wound, with luckily only scant burns. Pain had followed him in a straight shot through his body, an overwhelming sensation. 

Price had come in. Or maybe he had been in there a while and Ghost had just now noticed. 

But Price hadn't looked happy to see him. He looked like he had been crying and Ghost knew immediately what it was. Ghost didn’t want to ask. He wanted to bury himself in those pillows and never ever know the truth. That way, he could pretend. Pretend Roach was alive and well and somewhere else. 

But Simon couldn’t put things away that easily. 

"Roach..." His voice sounded shot. Hoarse and harsh. Probably rubbed raw from smoke inhalation. It made him stutter and fall over his words, something he thought he had gotten over as a child. They wouldn’t leave his throat, but he managed to say the name and from Price’s expression, it was more than enough. 

"He's gone, Simon. We found his body along with his dog tags." Price sank to his level since Ghost was still laying down. “Burned in the same fire that almost took you.”

"How do you know... Maybe Shepherd just..." The look on Price's face made Ghost trail off.

"I took off his mask, Simon. It was him. I'm sorry, but he's gone." Price was gentle with him. So gentle. It was more than he deserved. He let him die.

"Ah..." Ghost needed to lay down. Maybe forever. He felt Price's hand on his shoulder but it was distant.

"Rest, Ghost. You're hurt."

"Can you get Johnny for me?"

"Yeah… I can get Soap for you. He already knows. Been helping me with arrangements." Price left and it was agonizing wait until Soap came. He sat next to him on the bed, gently tracing the new burns on his body.

Ghost didn't cry. He physically couldn't thanks to some injuries to his face, along with a  lot of psychological stuff. But he felt it regardless. A burning behind his eyes and along his nose. He leaned heavily into Soap, into his lifeline.

Soap had clearly been crying. His eyes rimmed with red and there were small tear tracks down his face. But for Simon, he still held it together, not wanting to lose him to Ghost due to grief. 

"I really am so sorry."

Ghost felt shaken. The idea of Roach.

His Roach.

Gone.

He hid his face in Soap's face and shook hysterically. Soap hugged him close to him, petting his hair.

"I know. I know." Johnny held him. "They think it was fast. He would've been dead before the.. the fire..."

"How bad is his body?"

"You're not going to want to see it." Soap told him gently. "I found it. And you're not going to want to see it."

Ghost continued to lay with Soap for a long time. But he knew already that he wasn't going to let Roach go this easily.

He would do something. Anything. 

-

Ghost was discharged two weeks later. It was excruciatingly long. He counted the days slowly. 

His bullet wound healed in 10 days. The perfect, typical timeline of a bullet wound. It almost made him sick. 

One of the nurses offhandedly mentioned how lucky he was. That the burns were healing so well, stitching themselves back so easily. And that he avoided third degree burns. She seemed so surprised by it. 

Ghost bit back a harsh word about how his gear was there to prevent those wounds or maybe a sharp retort about how having his Roach die was not by any means lucky.

His… 

So he did the only thing he knew how to do. 

Ghost went to a bar and started drinking. He made sure Soap and Price didn’t see him because he knew they would want to stop him and he wanted to put himself in a fucking coma. Maybe he’d get alcohol poisoning and die. If he kept drinking, he could die by morning from it. 

Death didn’t like him though. He knew it didn’t. If it did, he would’ve died in Vernon’s grave. Or in the scorpion’s cage. Or by his dad’s hands. 

Instead, he had to keep living. 

He downed the bourbon and stared at the screen that was playing above his head. He wasn’t actually sure what was playing, but he hoped that between his tattoos, his mask, his size and also the fact he was clearly busy, no one except the bartender would pay him any mind. 

The bourbon burned. After a moment, he ordered a virgin pina colada. He made sure the stupid umbrella came with it and he pushed it to the empty seat next to him where Roach would sit. Roach didn’t drink. Ghost had no idea why. 

Maybe he was a flirty drunk? Or he had bad experiences with it?

Ghost got another shot and downed it too. The burn went down his throat and he could feel it in his stomach. 

Someone sat next to him. 

“Waiting for someone?” 

Ghost turned to the man sitting next to him. He was… hmm. Tall. Older looking. He had a face similar to Pedro Pascal, if a bit taller with blue eyes. More facial hair like he didn’t have time to clean it up. 

Ghost had daddy issues. Never said he didn’t. And right now, he was all alone. He had been dancing around his feelings towards two of his sergeants but one was dead and the other was not here. 

This guy was giving him attention and he was maybe a little too drunk. All the wrong things. 

A one night stand might help where the alcohol was failing. 

“Not anyone that’ll show up.”

“Really? Stood up on a date?”

“No. He’s dead.” Ghost downed the shot, noticing the guy take the straw in his mouth and drink. His dark eyes focused on him. Dark brown around pupils. Something about them made him feel uneasy. Weren’t they just blue?

“Ah. Shame. What’s his name?”

“Gary. Though I never used that. Always called him Roach.”

“Military?” 

For a moment, Ghost felt a skittering paranoia before remembering his dog tags were out. Laying on his chest. They were slightly burned. He knew how to clean them. Or even just get a replacement. But he hadn’t. And he wouldn’t. It had burns just like him and Roach. 

“Yeah. Military. You ever serve?”

“Can’t say I have.”

“Don’t. Don’t let anyone you know join if you can help it.”

“If you could leave, would you?”

“No. I don’t have anything else.” Even Soap, Johnny, Sergeant MacTavish, as much as Ghost romanticized the soft idea that he’d have him, was so intrinsically tied to the military. Roach had been as well, but Roach was more intrinsically tied with being dead now. If he left, he’d have nothing. No family. No home. No one to know. He’d start over and at the ripe age of 28, he couldn’t do that. Didn’t have the energy for it. “That’s what the military does. It’s like a toxic partner.”

“I see. So your buddy Roach. What would you do to get him back?”

“Fucked up question to ask a drunk person that’s grieving.”

“I know.” The man leaned in. He smelled weirdly sweet. An overwhelming, almost toxic sweet smell. Ghost remembered being in the coffin. He didn’t know why but the smell brought him back.

“What cologne are you wearing?” He mumbled.

That man smiled and Ghost’s vision grew a tad blurry. Shifting around like he was black out drunk and yeah he hadn’t been counting his shots but he was a big guy and he doubted however much he had drank would’ve been enough. “I’m not wearing cologne, Ghost. You’ve killed a lot of people haven’t you?”

“Try not to think about it.”

“Saved any?”

“That’s the hope. I like to think I’ve saved more than I’ve taken, but I don’t let the numbers keep me awake.”

“I’m going to ask again. What would you do to get him back?”

Ghost thought about it. “I don’t know what I wouldn’t do.”

“You should go visit him.”

“He’s in the morgue. They said I shouldn’t.” His vision was blurring more like they were filling with tears. 

The doctor examined his face, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows. A surgical mask covered the bottom half of her face.

“You suffered some horrible injuries. How did you drag yourself across Mexico to get here?” Her accent was thick. Undeniably Texan.

“You’re safe now, sweetie? Okay?” He could see it. The pity. He hadn’t seen himself yet. He didn’t know how bad the scarring was. Simon was not aware that he had died in that desert. Not yet. 

He smiled. And this time, Ghost noticed that he had a few too many teeth. 

“Go visit him and tell him how you feel.”

“He’s dead.” Ghost bit out. “I don’t know what sick fuck you are, but he’s dead.”

“Is he? Have you seen his body? Do you trust everyone that much?” 

Ghost trusted Price and Soap. He did. Didn’t he?

No. No, he did not.

Ghost was suddenly moving. He went to deck the guy but he was gone. 

Somehow, he did find himself walking to the morgue. It was attached to the base. He didn’t know why. The army hospital was right next to it. That was probably why. 

He found himself looking through the different metal cabinets. Trying to find him. 

Roach looked unbearably tiny. If Ghost remembered correctly, they had embalmed him, but not held the funeral yet. They wanted Ghost to be up and at em before they did it. The embalming kept him from rotting. But it didn’t make him look alive. 

He shouldn’t be exposed like this. The thin sheet over him wasn’t enough. 

Ghost grabbed a trash can and threw up. He blamed it on the alcohol and not the scent of formaldehyde. 

Crying was never something he wanted to do before. But he wanted to now. He wanted a way to get all of these stupid emotions out of his body. 

There was a rustling. Probably one of the attendants finding him here. That was going to be an awkward explanation. 

A hand on his shoulder made him finally look up. See the pale flesh of Roach’s arm. Even paler than normal thanks to the embalming fluid now running through his veins instead of blood. 

His head tilted unnaturally and his eyes had a whitish tint to them, but it was clearing as he blinked. 

Ghost felt like throwing up again, but there was nothing to throw up. He stood up slowly, towering over him. Roach blinked a few more times before smiling at him. The scars on his face tugged slightly with it, just like they always did. 

“Roach?” Ghost said slowly.

Roach raised his hands, his fingers trembling. Simon. He signed it. Like most people who used sign language, he had a special sign for the closer people in his life. Ghost’s was the sign for ghost where instead of holding an F sign, he held an S. It was an odd thing, but it was so clearly Roach. 

Ghost wrapped his arms around him. He felt so cold from the cabinet. 

“Are you cold?” 

Roach nodded. He was also very naked. He looked like he was made of glass. 

“Let me get you to my room.” Ghost slid his jacket off and put it on him. He tugged it so it covered as much of Roach as possible. Hysterically, he worried he’d get a cold.

Ghost pulled him along gently. Roach followed him, looking up at him with shaking legs. His eyes get drooping like he was tired and Ghost didn’t even think before trying to lift him before stopping. Roach felt so heavy in his arms. Way, way heavier than normal. 

Apparently the embalming process added some weight. He instead just ushered him faster and gently put him in his own bed. Ghost wondered what this was. If it was some cruel hallucination or delusion. 

Roach made the sign for him to lay down and Ghost did without question. He pressed into him, his freezing body leeching warmth from Ghost. Ghost didn’t care. He’d freeze to death if it meant whatever this was would last longer. 

At some point, he fell asleep. 

Soap yelling woke him up. He sounded horrified at first before something shut him up. 

Ghost reluctantly pulled himself together enough to open his eyes to look. 

Roach was standing up. Dressed luckily. He had Soap’s face in his hands and Ghost couldn’t see his expression but judging by Soap’s it was a calming one.

“I saw you die. You died. You were…” 

Roach made the sign for Soap. It was the regular sign for soap but he made the sign for J with his hands. Just like on Ghost, it worked like a charm. 

Soap pulled him close, crying quietly. Ghost noticed that Roach was still pale and he reached over, feeling his skin. It felt wrong. Not as cold as before, but more of an ambient room temperature. 

Roach shoved them both away and rushed off to Ghost’s bathroom. He could hear him hacking something up. The sound of liquid falling from his mouth. 

“How.” Soap looked at him. “Being dead for a few minutes can destroy a person’s brain. A few hours? They’re wrecked. Resuscitation is almost pointless because its a miracle if they even start breathing let alone have a quality of life. He was dead two weeks. Two full weeks. And that’s just counting the time in the morgue. That’s not even considering that he was next to your unconscious ass for who knows how long.” He was speaking so clearly, suppressing his accent as if using Scotts would make Ghost not be able to understand him. Ghost already couldn’t understand him. He didn’t get the question.

“I don’t know. I just… went down there. And he woke up.”

“What did you do Ghost.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Ghost. This doesn’t… make sense. He was dead a while.” 

“I know. I don’t get it either. But he’s awake.”

“We’re…” Soap ran his hands through his hair. “This is fucking insane.”

Ghost stood up and grabbed him. He cupped his face in his hands just like Roach did. This was madness. Mania to the goddamn extreme. He knew, deep down, that he shouldn’t be taking this so easily. But they were all alive. After two weeks of being confined to  a hospital bed, forced to do nothing but think and think and think about the missing part of himself, he didn’t want to think anymore. 

He had his pieces. 

Ghost was whole again. 

Simon kissed Johnny, not lifting his mask to do so. He could feel Johnny’s lips through it and that was enough. “We’ll figure it out.”

Johnny stared at him. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to crush Ghost. Or because he also wanted nothing more than to have everyone alive and kicking. “Okay. We’ll figure it out.”

-

Roach had laid awake the entire night. He didn’t feel like sleeping. In all honesty, he was very confused. One moment, he had been shooting at an enemy with Ghost. Then he was alone, somewhere very cold with a sheet over his face. It was even more confusing when he stood up and his body felt like he was wearing his gear even though he was naked. There was also this chill down to his goddamn bones. 

Roach kept having to get up to cough up all the embalming fluid. When he left the bathroom, Soap and Ghost were there. He felt lighter now. Finally having rid himself of most of it. Under his skin, he could see the very start of pink as his body tried to make more blood to replace what was drained. 

Ghost left the room. Soap sat with him, moving closer. Roach leaned into him, still so very cold. Soap wrapped his arms around him.

“What happened?”

Roach didn’t fucking know. He made the sign for the idiot and Soap laughed, though he was clearly tense. 

“Sorry for asking.”

Ghost brought back food. Other than the bacon, Roach couldn’t really stomach it. He did drink down the tea Ghost brought him though. It felt so warm. 

Ghost sat on his other side and it felt so nice. They felt so nice. 

They smelled really, really nice.

Roach blinked. Huh. That was weird. 

During the night, Soap stayed in Ghost’s room, which he thought was cute. He couldn’t fit in the bed so the two of them had a small disagreement over who would take the floor and who would take the bed. Roach tried to offer and they glared so hard into his soul he thought he’d drop dead again. 

After an hour of watching the two of them sleep quietly, Ghost managed to argue that he had the bed the night before so Soap laid next to him, Roach got… impatient. He was too bored for this. 

So he got up and went outside. The smell wasn’t helping. His own body had the horrible chemical smell that a shower hadn’t gotten rid of, but his… 

What were they? Friends he guessed. His friends smelled divine. It made him so hungry. He knew the kitchen wouldn’t have anything worthwhile but his card had a lot of money on it, like his friends, he didn’t really use it for anything, mostly just hoarding it all for retirement. 

Roach found a diner and after looking through the food, he settled on a steak. The waitress didn’t know sign so he had to point to it. Luckily, the waitress had a good head on her shoulders because she held up her hand and pointed to her fingers, saying the different doneness so he could just hold up the finger he wanted. 

She was nice. Short and accommodating. She put the food in front of him and he had took his mask off to eat it. He had asked for medium rare, but it was very well done. He thought of complaining, but the idea of having to both get her to realize the mistake without being able to verbally explain along with bothering her was … He decided against it. 

Roach bit into the steak, not bothering with a knife because it was getting on his nerves. He sank his teeth into it. The inside was red. 

Roach was in the diner’s kitchen, holding someone’s arm. Their body laid out on the floor with several giant chunks missing. 

The waitress laid just a few feet away. Her shirt had been ripped open and he could see the empty chest cavity where her torso should be. 

After a moment of thinking, he kept eating. Finally, he felt warm. Their blood replacing his own. He didn’t feel so hungry. 

Their lungs tasted bad. He ended up skipping over them and going to the muscles in his chest. They melted like butter. 

He’d have to order his steaks bloody. 

[kkukiejams]

Since I started my hobby as a fangirl, there's this one fear that I always have. That one day I will awake up and see the news that one of the people I looked up to and always brought me happiness died/suicide/od-ed somewhere out there, inside a hotel room, alone and away from their loved ones. I mean, I grew up seeing news like this from Michael Jackson to Whitney Houston to various K-pop idols. But I never thought that I would really experience this nightmare.

On the early morning of Oct 16th, I woke up with a text notification from a close friend saying "Liam is gone," with no other context. My first thoughts are, "Gone? Wdym by gone?"; "Wait, which Liam?"; "Did she have a dog named Liam?"; "Liam? as in 1D's Liam?"; "Isn't it too early for a hoax, especially on this happy day?"; "Hobi is about to come home; wtf is this bullshit." And so I open my Twitter app and see what the fuck is happening.

*Liam Payne's picture in gray, 1993-2024*, "One Direction member Liam Payne (31), died after falling from his hotel room balcony in Argentina," and all the other fan-shocking tweets, news site tweets, tweets about what happened, tweets about how intoxicated he was, passing out in the hotel lobby before the hotel staff brought him to his hotel room, and that horrible, horrible tweet about how fucking tmz posted a picture of his body laying in the ground focusing on his tattoos barely an hour after he fell.

And all I can think is, shit, I can't do this today. It's already 8 in the morning; I need to move my ass because my work starts at 10am and I cannot afford to be late this month anymore. So I moved and got ready, but I can't even process anything like, Fuck, is this even real? He was just in Niall's concert a few days ago. Did the other boys know already? What time is it in the UK? Are they even awake? Are they even in the UK right now? Fuck, he's so far away from home. Why is he so far away from home? Did his mom already know? Did his baby already know? Wtf, I can't really just cry right now; it's still Thursday, and I can't file for sick leave just because of this; my next schedule will be fucked if I did.

And so, I go on with my day; I got in time for my work, still feeling like a blank slate, and still doesn't know how to react. Other people told me about what happened, asking me, What happened? They know I'm a fan, of course. I'm that big directioner fan girl in high school and college; everyone I met from 2012 till 2016 knows I love that group and how I love those boys. And all I can simply tell them is that he fell from his hotel room balcony, accidentally or by suicide; I'm not sure; he was drunk; he was high; I'm not really sure.

And the day went by, and I came home and went back to Twitter to get more information and updates. I know he was suicidal and had an alcohol problem. I think I saw an interview before that he said this thing himself and was trying to seek help. I really prayed that he would be able to seek help. He was depressed, that the days that he was one of the sources of my mental stability are the days he needs to depend on these vices to keep going so he can keep doing what he loves and to keep surviving.

It was also truly devastating to find out that this once bright, kind, and talented person I know was able to hurt and abuse so many people he was supposed to love and people who loved him. I will not excuse him for his wrongs, and I will not blame his victims for speaking out, but it was so tragic that none of them got a happy, peaceful ending. His life was not supposed to end like this; he should be able to heal, to make amends, and to live the rest of his life in content. But life is a bitch and has never been fair. And so I end my Thursday night still doesn't know how to react, still haven't had a cry. Am I even allowed to cry?

Then it's already Friday morning. He was already gone for a day. I woke up and still cannot believe that this is really happening. Then Louis, Zayn, Niall, and Harry released a joint statement regarding what happened to Liam. This is not how I imagine seeing Zayn's name on a 1D official post again. I always thought it would be the 5 of them, and it's about a reunion concert. I was still looking forward to that. I never saw all of them performing live together. I was able to attend one of their concerts, but Zayn was not present, and it's the last concert they have before they officially announced that he was quitting the band. I never thought that I would really never see them all five performing together.

So again I went with my day, still not crying, still have work to do. I also read Louis', Zayn's, and Harry's personal posts. I cannot imagine how they are feeling. They are losing their brother, their friend. Someone they truly know, someone who tried his best to support them when they're all too young to be exposed to how cruel the media can be and how disgusting the entertainment industry truly is. Niall's personal message came in a later time today, and I can understand why. He was the last one of them to see him, to spend time with him, to hug him. I really, really hope that all of the remaining four boys have the support they need in these trying times. I hope they are not alone.

Some people say they are grieving for the younger Liam and not this man he became. But I mourn for all of him, the Liam, whose dream is to perform and sing. the Liam who saw and experienced how amazing it was to reach these dreams, the Liam who found out and paid the price for reaching the said "dreams," and I will especially mourn for the Liam who could have find his way again and should have been able to heal.

So tonight, I will finally allow myself to grieve and cry for the lost that he is. To the brilliant, talented, and loved Liam James Payne. I hope you will finally find peace. I hope that your next life will be happier and more peaceful than this one. Rest in paradise, darling.

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 3/14

What am I feeling today?

Absolutely terrible. I’ve been sick for over a week now and it’s just gotten worse. I haven’t been able to sleep and I’ve lost my voice and I had to miss school and work for two days and I’m not looking forward to having to make all that work up. I also neglected my time with God, I decided to go to other things for comfort during this time instead of turning to Him which has been weighing on me. I feel like a failure since I’ve strayed from my routine. I’ve been wasting away in my bed for a couple days now and I know that technically my body needs the rest, but I feel so useless when I’m not doing anything productive.

Luke 8 NIV

(v. 11-15) ““This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.”

I will be honest in saying that this parable troubles me at times. I wonder if I’m the rocky soil or the one with thorns. It’s always been something that has bothered me because I don’t want that to be the case. I know I was so joyful when I received my salvation but even with such short time, I’ve struggled and weakened. I wonder if it’s that my faith is wavering or if I’m just experiencing the spiritual desert, I don’t understand how to discern the difference between the two. Maybe the world is also killing my walk, I have so much that I commit myself to that every day I wake up and feel it’s a battle to get through it all. And I’m tired. I’m so young but I’m just so so tired by life, I’m drained, I’m exhausted, I’m deflated, I’m drained, and I just wish I could escape from it all sometimes. I’m tired of fighting but every day I have to keep praying to God to give me the strength. If it weren’t for Him, I’d never be able to keep going through it.

(v. 17-18) “For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what they think they have will be taken from them.””

Just further reinforcing that He knows all we do and that there’s no hiding anything from Him. How foolish would we be if we thought we could conceal some of our sins? Something I’m currently battling is idolatry in a few areas. I know that it’s empty and that the feeling fades and it’s a sin and everything else but I’m having a hard time shaking it. If God needs to destroy it then so be it because I don’t know how to do it myself. Idk I think I’m just having a hard time and feel stuck and trapped in my own skin if that makes sense. I can’t shake the feeling of me existing and it’s bothering me so much.

(v. 24-25) “The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.””

I think this is something that applies to every trial of our lives. The disciples were scared and worried and Jesus had to ask where’s the faith. I think he asks the same of us when we go through tough times and don’t fully rely on him. I think he may be asking me that right now because my anxiety gnaws at me like a dog with a bone and it’s so hard to take it away.

(v. 30-31) “Jesus asked him, “What is your name?” “Legion,” he replied, because many demons had gone into him. And they begged Jesus repeatedly not to order them to go into the Abyss.”

I just wonder about the Abyss. That struck my interest because I wonder if it’s just hell, a part of hell, or something else entirely.

(v. 47-48) “Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.””

I just think this is comforting. She had faith so strong that just by touching Jesus she was healed. How incredible is that? How inspiring is it? Our faith is a powerful thing and something we should not treat lightly. I wish to continue growing my faith, I wish to be the good soil.

[pbandjesse]

Today is labor day! And it feels thematically appropriate to finally. Finally. Tell Tumblr the secret I have been holding from the Internet for a month. I am 11 weeks pregnant! And today we finally got to tell my family. So I can also finally tell all of you. It has been incredibly hard to write my posts since July 31st when I first found out. And there are other versions of my posts I had written. So I will have to go back and edit those back. It wasn't all of the days but there is a good handful from the beginning of August!! It has been so hard to not say anything! It's why I've been so sick!

I was so nervous to tell my parents. How would they react?? Would i get the emotional excitement I hoped for?? It's basically all I wanted to talk about yesterday. And thankfully when I got home last night I was able to shower and settle and I was able to sleep pretty well, despite the nerves.

I had brought two flower arrangements home from the wedding. One for me and one for my parents. I was smart and dumped the water from the vases but would fill them up for the overnight. And in the morning they still looked great.

I woke up at 8. With the plan for us to leave at 830. James was making crepes and they looked so cute in their Uganda soccer kit. And I really love my denim dress. I felt good. I was nervous but I didn't feel sick. And I really hoped I could keep that going. Ride that wave as long as I could.

Right before we left I noticed one of my frogs was dead. Covered in snails. And I was so sad. So I think I have no frogs anymore. And it just bums me out so bad. I am just going to have to completely start my tank over. I can't get the snails to stop. It's ruined my tanks environment and it just sucks so bad. James would handle getting my baby frog out and buried. I was just really sad. But I tried to not let it ruin my day. We had a big thing to do.

I went out to the car to move stuff around so there would be room for us to bring our laundry with us to my parents. And soon we were on the road.

I brought a pillow and that made me more comfortable. I never fell asleep but I enjoyed resting and we listened to a podcast and it was not a bad drive at all. We wouldn't have to deal with any traffic and we got to my parents at 1030.

We didn't discuss between, me and James, how we were going to tell them. We had packed a little gift bag, with the ultra sound from my last appointment (remember when I went to see that 'specialist'?) and James picked a fig from the tree to bring with us. I packed it like a gift. And when we got to the house we put the flowers and the gift bag in the kitchen table and just didn't mention it. I would have to decide on the right time.

The dogs didn't bark when we came in. It was like they were so excited they were basically honking??? Mom would come out and was very surprised. But I was so happy to see her.

Dad was still getting ready for the day. So I would have to wait.

We would chill in the living room. And talked about life and just catching up. It was hard to redirect the conversation when Mom would talk about me feeling sick, but also when she brought up our planned Scotland trip. The problem being my expected due date is two weeks before the trip. So I was pretty sure we were going to have to reschedule that. Which makes me a little sad but I knew she would understand.

I went to bother Dad and tell him to hurry up and join us. And soon he would. But I wouldn't tell them yet still.

Around 1130 mom asked if we wanted to order pizza. I had had my two crepes in the car but I absolutely wanted pizza now. I love the pizza place near them. So we would order pizza and James got a cheese steak and mom got a quesadilla.

While we waited for the food to be delivered, mom brought up Scotland again. And I decided it was the right time. I honestly wish I got it on video because she had such an amazing reaction. I told James to get the gift bag and mom was like. Why do I get a gift?? And I'm like well it's kind of a thing for both of you.

She brought out the framed ultrasound first. And she literally stopped mid sentence and goes. No??? You're fucking joking?? Jesse??!! You're joking?? And I go right into explaining, this is why I've been sick. And she ran over to me to give me a hug. And dad is like ??? What is happening, Sharon stop cursing!!! And mom hasn't shown him the frame yet and he wasn't getting it. But we finally hand it to him and he gets it and he go no!! Omg!! And they were both so excited. She claims she didn't cry but I saw the teary eyes. She was so excited. Dad was so excited.

Then I explained the fig. And dad goes. Wow. My grandchild, as he holds it up. And then I explain the whole story. When we were on the cruise I was nauseous. Jess's parents kept saying I was pregnant. I didn't want to take a test until August 1st, despite missing two persons. But when I got off the cruise and was still nauseous I spoke to the camp nurse and she convinced me to take a pregnancy test on July 31. And that evening I did and it was immediate. "PREGNANT". And then I told James. And we high fived. And then the next day we told Charlotte because she was leaving for Spain. On August 2nd I made an appointment for an obgyn but I let them know I had been sick but also I was spotting and they said I needed to go to the ER. So I had to tell Alexi and Heather and Elizabeth because I had to leave camp.

And when I got the the er I got fluids and they confirmed the pregnancy but I also got an ultrasound. Based on my last missed period they thought I might be 10 weeks but I was actually more like 6/7. And I got to see it early. It didn't look like much but I got to see it! And I drew a pictuee of it to show James later.

And then in the ten days between the ER and the OB-GYN appointment I lost 10lbs from being sick. And the midwife was so nice and James got to see them and they still didn't look like much but we got to see their heartbeat. And now I have my next appointment tomorrow. And I'm so nervous because anything and everything can go wrong. And I can't see them because my belly isn't see through so I just have to believe they are growing safely. And I really hope we get to see them tomorrow but I don't actually know if we will because I don't know how often you get ultrasounds. I want to see them every time though, only seems fair.

But they were just so excited. And when the door bell rang with our friends it took everything in mon not to just tell the pizza man that her daughter was pregnant. But it was the main point of conversation for the rest of the day.

Lunch was great. I actually ate 4 pieces of pizza! And I would actually feel pretty well through around 230. We would talk about the research and reading we have done to get ready. The book I'm reading. Things we have learned. Mom told us about her experiences and James finished the laundry between topics. It was just so nice. It was so nice to be able to talk about everything. About the scary things. About me accidently ripping my boobie skin off with kinesiology tape. About how I have had all my eggs since I was a baby inside of Mom. So this baby has always been with us, our whole lives. And it makes me just a little emotional to think about.

And like I am still scared. It could not be growing. It could not be growing correctly

It could be missing organs, or a skull. It could be perfect and then die at the end. Or it can be totally fine and I can come home with a new little person. That looks like me and James. The person I love so much.

And I just have to believe that no matter what happens I will be okay, and it will all work out how it's supposed to. Just how I have always believed.

And James got to talk about their excitement too. They are a little more focused on my health. They are just so worried about me being so sick. But they are also such an amazing support. And I love them so much.

I started feeling not amazing. And we had one more stop at Xavier and Kaitlyn's house. So at 3 we would give hugs all around. Mom and me had gone down to the basement and she gave me a nice new basket and a bunch of pencils for camp. And we got all of that in the car. And said goodbye. It was exciting that we got to give them something to be excited about. I love them so very much.

We left there and headed to our friends. They are about 40 minutes from my parents. And it was really nice to see them. They are expecting as well, and she's only a few weeks behind me! How crazy!! We talked about our different experiences. She said her mom was barely sick and that's been her experience so far, while my mom was sick the whole time and that's my experience too. Rough. But I enjoyed hanging out. They brought us a few little Pokemon things from Japan. And we just talked and caught up and spent an hour and a half there. It was fun.

But I was losing steam. So it was time to go. We said goodbye and headed not. See them soon!!

We would stop at Wawa on the way home. We got drinks and snacks. I got a small hoagie. And it did help me feel a little better. But the drive home would be a bit tough on us

Not much traffic, but our cord wasn't charging right. My phone would get down to 2%. And people were driving terrible. James couldn't stop sneezing. And the sun was so strong and directly in our faces. We couldn't block it no matter what we tried. So it was not a super fun trip back. But we were fine. And we would finally get home at 7.

We got everything inside. And I was just like. I gotta go lay down. James would put our clothes away. And we would just enjoy hanging out and doing our own thing in our bedroom. James worked on writing. I watched videos and scrolled. It was calm.

Eventually I took a bath. I have so many blasters on my feet from last night so the I put in the water hurt but I am sure it helped. And now we are in bed. And I am so ready to sleep. There was so much emotionally charged moments today. Like in the best way but man. I am exhausted.

And tomorrow we get to go to the OB-GYN again. This time we get to meet Dr Hoffman. Of Hoffman and associates! Which is the name of the practice. I get to have appointments with all the drs and midwives so we get to know everyone. I think it's smart. But also a little nerve wracking. You never in now what they are going to tell you. I just hope it's all good news you know?

But now it's time to sleep. I hope you all sleep great. I love you all so much. I will start editing the redacted posts and when I finish that (probably Thursday) I will make a post with the dates of the changes posts! If you want to go back and read them.

Goodnight everyone. Have fun tomorrow!!

[nei-ning]

Just woke up from a dream which was weird but short.

I was in my old home during summer (summer weather is extra super rare in my dreams when it comes to my old home!) and I was outside. I stood infront of huge double doors to our garage which was long and high to store tractor and all tractor stuffs too.

Since it was summer, tractor was outside and my father was near it. I noticed clock was either 6 or 7 am so I hurried in the stable to morning feed the horse. When I opened the front door, I instantly noticed the stallion has been kicking the door, opening it partly from left down corner. When I lifted my eyes up, I noticed he, somehow, had got his left front leg up above the door, getting it stuck (it should have been impossible).

I managed to free him, opening stall's door. Stall was filthy and full of dry grass, horse pee and poo mix. Months and months worth of stuff! Now the stallion has turned into a mare who we had even for real. I looked at her feet when I noticed her left front foot, which I just released, looked red, swollen and squishy.

She then lifted her leg, placing it better on the filth and, fir God's sake, it was dog's paw! In horrible condition, too! Hairless, bloody / bleeding, infected, rash, swollen, long nails, all that. Plus it was positioned wrong. It pointed out too much. I also saw clear cut mark / scar on the spot where her leg had been cut off, dog's paw placed there. Now I noticed the same had been done to her right front leg. She looked absolutely miserable, weak and sick! She should have been put down!

I got hell pissed, marching back to my father. I pointed at him, then furiously gesturing with my hands all around.

"You fucking cut off her front legs and replaced them with paws! She's sick! That won't cure her! I will go get a gun (riffle or shotgun) and shoot her!"

Father said nothing but he wore many sunglasses on top of each other, looking down on me like some Kazuya Mishima. That infuriated me even more so I grabbed his sunglasses one by one, breaking them easily with one squeeze.

I went to get the gun but then the dream turned into some kind of game where there was me and 3 other women (they were on my side, wanting to fight against my father to bring justice to the mare) and we needed to stand in specific spots on the yard / my home town to have turns to act etc.

[broken0verseer]

The hunters and the man Pt.1

TW: Implied Child Neglect, cringe?

Word count: 1,599

Fear

It’s one of the most common feelings among childern, I mean you would be scared too if everything didn’t fully make sense and adults always think their better then you, I mean how would you like it if every little concern or problem you had was just brushed off because the ADULT DECIDED IT WASN’T WORTH THEIR FUCKING TIME AND NOW YOU HAD A SCAR MARRING YOUR FACE THAT MAKES OTHER KIDS LAUGH AT YOU ALL BECAUSE THE PARENT WHO WERE SUPOOSED TO PROTECT YOU WERE TO BUSY GETTING HIGH AND ARGUING ABOUT FUCKING POLTICS!

Sorry, got a little heated there, but you get what I mean don’t you? I mean being pushed around just because you're small is awful and I hate it.. Oh! I haven’t properly introduced myself yet to you, I am Aleksandra Zabójca A polish-American kid who lives with her parents, dog, and used to live with her auntie as well, but after a big  fight with my parents, Auntie left and I can’t find her, I know she's somewhere at the local lake though. 

But that Lake is near a camp called camp blood. It's pretty unsettling, or is it called something else?

I woke up to the sound of my parents fighting again. Can’t they at least fight quietly?

“Seriously why won’t they just get a divorce, be so much easier” I muttered bitterly under my breath before reluctantly leaving the warmth and comfort of my bed before starting my daily search or my scarf which I know I left on my desk last night, but noo, it’s not there anymore 

Seriously, does the universe hate me?.. Wait.

“Crap! You gotta be kidding me” I panicked once I realized that the only way it could go missing was by miś my Husky that was apparently from Siberia, get it, cause my dog is a Siberian Husky.. I’m funny

Seriously, why is the dog breed called that? 

Probably cause it’s a husky from Siberia 

I continue to look for Miś and my scarf, looking through my entire room aimlessly before deciding I’m better than this and grabbing my large poncho with a hood, it had bear ears I love this poncho

Deciding I can be mad at my bear of a dog later I venture downstairs quietly, Mom had gone back to bed and Papa is making me breakfast, At least he cares I shook myself from the thought and continued my quiet crusade from the stairs to the kitchen to sneak some bacon without having to acknowledge the fact that the Miś has most likely ripped up my scarf, it was something Pa had made himself, and while he did care about me, he hated Mom more than he loved me..

Seriously, what is stopping them from divorcing?!

“Where do you think you’re going Aleksandra?” I heard my Pa’s voice before I could see him. How did I not see him, he’s the size of the front door!

In short I ended up getting an earful from Pa about keeping my clothes out of the dog's reach and asking before taking food. But How was I supposed to know that Miś could reach onto my desk?! Also the food was mine anyways!

But overall not a terrible morning, it could’ve been worse, Mom would have talked to me about it, and I did not want to listen to a woman who barely cared enough to get me treatment for the skin cancer on my cheek and jaw to lecture me on what to do..

She's the whole Reason Pa had to cut part of my face off.. If she wasn’t so concerned on buying her stupid vodka then maybe I wouldn’t look like this

Sorry, I’m getting distracted, but we are now at the bus stop where I wait for my one and only friend Gabirella or as I like to call her Gabi.

I am noticing a ton of the dumb college students who usually hang around here and either

A: make fun of my face

B: make fun of me and Gabi

C: do drugs and smoke

D: all of the above

I was pretty happy they weren’t here today, But I missed Gabi, she was probably sick and her Mom forgot to call my Pa and let him know she wouldn’t be at school today.

Oh bus is here

I hopped onto the bus, making my way to the back where usually all the fifth graders sit, but since I’m in fourth grade and I’m wayy more mature than them I like to think of myself as a fifth grader already. Just need to get taller. 

The bus ride goes without issue, just sitting in the back alone like usual when Gabi is sick I miss her though, at lease with her the other kids interact with me, now they just stare and look disgusted It kinda hurts

While I was getting lost in what little thoughts I have, my bus had pulled into the school driveway thingy where all the buses pull up to drop off children, Getting my bag I shuffled off the bus in a line with the other kids, making my way to Ms. Kimble was your teacher, and she was pretty nice, giving me the support I needed while being treated as a zoo animal almost. A few other kids are nice and even liked to play hunter and deer with me!

Hunter and deer is one of my favorite games, up in my top thirteen with tag and hide and seek, as well as uno and guess the item. But enough about the games I like to play I should explain how you play Hunter and deer.

So basically you need around 3 or 10 people to play, and one of the players is chosen to be the hunter based on what they ate for lunch that day, for example if one of the kids had a ham sandwich and the other kids didn’t have a lot of meat in their lunch the kid who had a ham sandwich would bet the hunter and the rest would be the deer.

I came up with the game with the help of my Auntie.. But if I’m being honest she’s more like a mom to me then an Auntie.. But that's a thought to unpack another day.

”Hey, Sandra, come see. A bear cub and its mother” Auntie said, her voice thick with the slavic accent she had but wouldn’t admit to. I crawled onto her lap to look through the binoculars.

”Bears are so cool Auntie, just like you!”  I said happily, looking up at my Auntie.. My hero, and she looked down at me with a love in her eyes that could only be described as parental love.. Which was weird because she was just my Auntie.. But she was a mom to me.. I love my Auntie 

”Hey Auntie, promise you’ll never leave me?” I asked, as I turned around to hug her, wanting more of the love I never got from my mom.. She was barely my mom.. No.. Auntie was my mom

”Of course I’ll never leave you, Child” My auntie spoke with such kindness. I believed her, I believed her when she embraced me and pet my hair, I believed her when she promised me.. Because Auntie wouldn’t break her promises.. right?

It was lunch time now, and I was jolted awake from that sweet yet sad memory by my friend Shasha. He was one of my good friends that would play Uno with me and Gabi when we had indoor recess.  

“Alek, you alright? Another nightmare?” Shasha’s kind voice broke through my thoughts, making me re-focus on what I was doing.

“No, No, just tired that’s all, Pa and Mom were fighting all night and you know how they are” the embarrassment was evident by the fact I was playing thumb wars with myself, which I like to think is pretty impressive but my friends think it’s a tad weird.

“Anyone else gonna play with us?” I inquired, opening my lunch box to look at the food my Pa packed, my stomach gurgling uncomfortably.

“The others are buying lunch” Sasha spoke, opening his own lunch box and then grinning at me.

I hummed at his answer, choosing to ignore the concerningly large grin he had on his face before a smile ghosted my face as I saw kielbasa and pierogies.. MAC AN CHEESE I couldn’t believe it, not only had my Pa packed pretty much all of my favorite snacks and he managed to perform some sort of magic to keep them all warm for lunch..

Soon the others came to the lunch table, Cheyenne, Jude, and Jack, they were all siblings, well, technically they were triplets. Their poor mother.

“Sorry we’re late, Dad forgot to pack our lunches again” Cheyenne spoke first sitting down next to me with her brothers following suit, Jack sitting next to her and Jude sitting next to Sasha. 

“It is fine friends” Sasha reassured “Who should be Hunter this time?” He followed up with a question, taking a few bites from his pasta, That pasta looks yummy

“I dunno, Alek, have you gotten a turn to be the hunter this week?” Jude asked, turning the attention to me, I didn’t mind though.

“I don’t think I have” I said, pursing my lips before deciding to ask another question. “Anyone else wanna be the Hunter?” The silence that followed told me all that I needed to know.

I was the hunter this time.

@samaraxmorgan

[marmotsomsierost]

I have been sick since fuckin. What day. The fuckin 16th of december is when this bullshit started. It is JANUARY FUCKIN FIFTH. That saturday i woke up, coughed (not super unusual with this persistent stupid postnasal drip crap) so hard i puked all of the little i had in my stomach out (super unusual) and had a scratchy throat for the rest of the day. Didn't think anything of it. Was feeling kind of but not really better towards evening. Then, decorating the tree, cough drop in mouth, i go to fling a string of lights up and inhale said cough drop, which lodges just below my thyroid.

I do not die. The dog and the husband are not convinced. I use actual words to mention the not dying thing. They are...slightly more convinced.

Sunday i wake up with sensation in throat, not like pain, not raw, just like...there's something there that isn't normally there. Have minor cough and very raspy voice. Sinuses mostly clear. I wake up on the 20th and have literally no voice. I need my voice to be able to triage people. I call out sick. I go back the next day, it's fine. Still little cough, mostly clear sinuses, just suddenly a tenor. This continues until the 25th.

Dinner on christmas i find annoying to eat. It's like my throat has decided it's full and the stomach goes 'eh okay sure let's stop' in weird agreement. I go to work the next day.

I have turned into the crotchety old man you never see out of scooterdress with snus in his lip and a suspicious possibly-sentient coffee mug in one hand and the other hand tucked into the front of his bibbed pants. Basically Bjørn Sundquist. Anyway.

I now have a coughing wheezy rasp where by the end of the night i will cough all the air out of my lungs, die, gasp in air, cough that out, die again, then am able to breathe again. Unfortunately not shiny and chrome. Still. I call out the next morning, have a video visit, get some antibiotics and an inhaler, we're good to go right.

Wrong. Turns out pretending really really hard that you don't have a fever does not actually get rid of said fever. I call out again. I'm off work the next three days anyway, that gives me a nice block of time to finish my antibiotics and get back to normal.

There's no tech for the two days before new year's day so when i show up despite sounding like a zombie everyone is all 'oh thank god you're here' and 'we have a tech?? We have TWO TECHS?? Yeah!' But about four hours in i keep getting the concerned face and side-eye of concern and avaunt foul beast from the rest of the ED. The doctor tells me i sound worse than half of the patients. The PA listens to my lungs and says something like 'wow with that cough i figured your lungs would be shit but they're actually really clear'. The loud triage nurse says 'well hell marmot's been coughing for weeks and she's still here' loudly several times in earshot of patients whose chief complaint is 'cough since this morning' and the night shift triage nurse tells the charge nurse that i can stay in the back, he wants to keep the front plague-free.

I almost call out yesterday. I had the phone in my hand but an alert went out that the evening tech called out and wednesday was a shitshow so i was like okay, i'm not that bad, i'll go in.

I should have called out. I have alarms set for when to take the sudafed and the cough medicine and the inhaler because time is fake at the best of times and this ain't the best of times. I survive to the end of the shift. I blow my nose before i leave and my ears pop- the right clears fast, the left clears by the time i get home.

I'm off today. Cough is demonstrably better in frequency if nothing else, even without regular doses of medicine. I get home from dropping samus at the vet (she's fine) and blow my nose again, and ears pop. Left ear won't clear. It doesn't hurt but it is driving me absolutely batshit insane. It's like juuuust on the edge of fucking with my equilibrium. I've tried gum. Decongestant. Antihistamines. Soak in hot bath in our dwarf-ass tub as best i can. Am about to try broiling in a shower.

I'm so tired of this crap. Where is bones with a magic lung-fixing ear-clearing pill when you need him.

[astramthetaprime]

The Balance of a Hair

On August 12th, I woke up at 5 AM and lay there a few moments before I smelled the most horrible nauseating smell.

A moment later my mind shorted out and for at least a couple minutes I lay there not able to fit thoughts together, not even enough to know what was going on around me -- not my dog beside me, the ceiling over my head, the blanket across my chest.

It passed after a couple minutes.

And I got up to start my day an hour earlier than usual since there was no way I could get back to sleep.

This has been happening since about 2021 or 2022. It's inconvenient since it usually happens several times over the course of a day, but happens in no discernible pattern over the course of months. It doesn't seem to cause any permanent damage, has no cause I've been able to determine. Just the horrible vomit-inducing smell and dissociative episode, lasts a couple minutes, might make me almost throw up, might make me kind of shaky after two or three times in a day. But then it's gone and I go on with my life.

I hadn't been paying much attention, because it did no lasting harm.

But now, I'm working outside of the house and having to drive to work five days a week. And on the 12th, it happened while I was driving on one of the busiest roads in my city, surrounded by early morning rush hour traffic.

I'm all right. I didn't hit anyone. But the very real possibility that I could have easily killed myself or someone else crossed a line and once I got to work I called my doctor to make an appointment.

They managed to schedule me fairly quickly and I went in this past week. I'd written down all I could piece together about the incidents and gave it to my NP.

She completely ignored the parts where I dissociated in the middle of rush hour traffic, claimed it was just acid reflux, and prescribed Pepcid for it.

Then, out of left field, she wrote a referral for an ADHD assessment and a prescription for Adderall, when I had said nothing about that and hadn't asked for it.

She just ... threw an addictive stimulant at me. Because, y'know, nothing bad ever comes of easy access to addictive psychoactive stimulant drugs. ( /sarcasm )

Throughout my life, I've avoided drugs at all costs whenever I could. Some drugs are beneficial, I'm on three without which I would be dead. But for several years in my 20s I was on Paxil, an SSRI anti-depressant. They tell you it's non-addictive. The hell it isn't. You build up a tolerance for it and have to keep upping the dosage to get the same effect. And God help you if you're forced to give it up cold turkey. Ask me how I know.

(Pro tip, if you have to give up Paxil cold turkey, it makes your head spin like a top, to the point of vomiting. Keep a supply of motion sickness meds at hand -- Dramamine -- and keep on it until you're clean of the Paxil. You're welcome.)

Beyond this, it is strongly implied now that I'm considered to have both ADHD and Autism. I didn't come to the ADHD conclusion myself. I'm still really coming to terms with being Autistic. But now, ADHD and substances I am not sanguine about allowing into my body. It's a matter of agency, of bodily autonomy. I didn't consent to this, really. I was told out of the blue that I would be assessed for ADHD when I hadn't asked for that and hadn't been prepared for it.

Another pit opened beneath me, and I don't know who I am anymore.

I can't see by this new light.

The edit for my manuscript came back on Monday, it's Friday, I haven't even been able to open the file to start on it. $1600 for that edit, I haven't even been able to open the file.

But by God two nights ago I did a solid two hours on Ember Star because I took an Adderall at noon and nine hours later I was still going strong.

Am I being played by my NP because she has a quota to fill? She's short on her Adderall scripts this month and there's crazy old Aunty Proton, Autistic as fuck, we'll just slap down that referral and a script and hey we're up by one. Latest statistics say 70% of Autistics also qualify as ADHD, she probably is, we'll just get the cart before the horse and throw drugs at a problem that hasn't even been diagnosed yet.

No one seems to see me here, losing all my concept of who I am.

There's probably a drug for that too.

[gibmb]

In a new skin chapter 8

When Chloe woke to the sounds of her alarm and got out of bed she worried she'd be sore and exhausted beyond measure. Yet when she looked in the mirror for any bruising and examined her broken arm, she saw that she was totally healed. Her original scars were still there and rather than sore, she felt…refreshed. 

Chloe went over to check the time, not surprised when it said 8 AM. But the date caught her off guard, she had been asleep for two days! 

"Naje, Haje!" Chloe called as the snake slithered out of the ring, one head barely awake and the other yawning, which would now go on the list of things that will haunt her dreams.

"Yes, Chloe?" Naje said, looking at her through the snake-version of bleary eyes. 

"Yeah, somethings wrong," Chloe responded by grabbing the clock and showing it to him, he looked at it and then back at her.

"I see it is quite early," he replied dryly.

"No, not that! The date!” Chloe responded in surprise and confusion. “I slept for two days Naje, two days!" 

But soon Haje yawned and looked at her, waking up himself with a shake of his head.

"That is to be expected,” Haje calmly replied. 

“You pushed yourself and you're still new to this, not to mention the wraith broke your bones. Healing was necessary and since we didn't eat before sleeping and your acclimation to the powers is still ongoing, it makes sense we would go dormant to recover,” Haje further elaborated, lecturing her with the air of a professor before a class.

“In fact, I think two days is quick for a new user,” Haje said with a modicum of respect, looking to Naje to confirm before both nodded in agreement. Meanwhile Chloe was beginning to pace around her room, worried about getting in trouble. 

"What if my father hears about this and gets angry? What if Jean is worried?" Chloe asked as her pacing got faster and faster.

"There is no need to worry, when going dormant your body temperature rises,” Haje replied matter-of-factly. “Obviously, this Jean checked on you and thought you had a fever.”

"How do you know?!" Chloe replied, trying and failing to suppress her panic.

"Because we watched him check up on you. He even had a doctor brought in and it was decided you were sick due to a fever of one hundred and one,” Haje replied, flexing his hood a bit in a cocky manner. Chloe relaxed a bit, if they thought she was just sick then she didn’t have to worry about explaining anything.

 

Chloe let out a sigh of relief as she decided it would be best to get ready for the day. She grabbed a quick shower and was on her way to find something to wear when she noticed a peculiar sight on the table in the middle of the room.

"Uhmmmmm Naje, Haje, what are those?" Chloe asked, tightening the towel she wore before walking over to get a better look, a bit confused. It was a canvas, a brush, some paint boxes, and a big wooden box topped with two scrolls like that dog man had.

"Those are your rewards for completing the task you were assigned,” Haje said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“As I’ve said, sometimes the gods reward those who perform their assigned tasks exemplary. By the looks of it, Anubis was greatly pleased with your work," Naje said with a bit of pride as if he were the one who had performed the task. 

Haje slid past his cocky brother and began to speak as he examined the items. 

"He even went so far as to send a message with it. But it appears Set did as well, so I'd be prepared to see how Set felt about being tricked," Haje said. 

Chloe reached down and picked up the scroll, her breathing a bit quick from nervousness as she began to read it.

"‘Dear Serpent of Truth, well done with completing your task. I had worried that it may have been too much for you at first, but it seems that worry was for nought. You accomplished the task with creativity and mindfulness’,” the letter started, easing Chloe’s nerves.

“‘For that, I reward you with paints of the Underworld and the Skies. As well a brush that shall never fail. I know you loved art so these gifts shall bring your love to such heights that most mortals could never reach! Finally, the last gift is in the box on the table. Consider it compensation for your efforts.’"

Chloe blinked for a moment before rereading the scroll. Her mind was barely able to process that a God had praised her, but more so that he knew more about herself than she did. She proceeded to close and set the scroll down gently before looking at the other one from Set and opening it, preparing for the worst.

"‘Well done Serpent, you have out done yourself in a way I could never have foreseen. When I received the urn and saw it was empty, I had prepared to release plagues upon your lands for this trick!’” A far less friendly start compared to the previous scroll.

“‘However, I then saw what you did to the Wraith and I was truly impressed! To trap that wretched lowlife in his own body, far beyond what I had planned to do with him for his arrogant existence!’” A sudden turn in tone that Chloe genuinely didn’t expect. 

“‘I can now smile every day hearing the melody of his screams. If ever I'm bored I can alway see his trapped agony, immortalized by you…so well done.’” Chloe wasn’t sure how she felt about being praised in such a way.

“‘As a reward, I prepared a gift to compliment Anubis’ gift. A canvas that will store everything ever painted on it, and a set of stencils made by Hephaestus himself! Lastly, one final item in the box alongside Anubis' gift. No one can ever accuse Set of being stingy. I look forward to seeing how cruel and how elegantly you complete your future tasks, Serpent.’” The letter finished with only four words.

“‘Do Not Disappoint Me.’" 

Chloe was left shocked and more than a little nauseous at being complimented for being elegantly cruel, it reminded her too much of how she used to be. But the feeling of dread she felt when seeing he was willing to release plagues for being outsmarted by Chloe outpaced every other emotion. She closed the scroll setting it next to the other, but deep under those feelings she felt an iota of pride for being praised for eliminating such a dangerous threat, even if it hadn’t been entirely on her own. Chloe looked at the box and reached down to slowly open it, her eyes going wide as plates at the contents within.

Inside were two bracelets made entirely of gold and decorated with gems and hieroglyphs engraved into them. Chloe reached down brushing her fingers along one of the bracelets, feeling its smooth metal and gems, almost unreal to her. 

"What are these exactly?" Chloe asked quietly, still awestruck by the pure opulence of the pieces of jewelry.

"They're treasure," Naje said quietly. "It took some time before the Gods realized Numinous wielders often don’t have time to support themselves as other mortals do. Can’t have your Chosen Ones starving in the streets like stray dogs," he said as slithered around to Chloe's arm.

"It’s a more subtle way of courting wielders for future tasks,” Chloe raised her brow at that in confusion and both Naje and Haje sighed.

"Gods can be as territorial as they are arrogant. Even though I am a blessing that tells gods of other pantheons you're claimed and which Court has first rights when it comes to submitting tasks to you, sometimes rival gods will try to lure you with promises of greater rewards, or even offer blessings of protection. It has been known to cause some Gods to almost come to blows," Haje explained.

"How oft-" Chloe started to ask before Naje cut her off.

"Often enough to have Zeus and Odin fighting each other. Or Wukong and Hercules about to tear up the heavens over a wager," Naje said with a bit of humor. 

"But we can worry about that later. It's better for you to do something and enjoy the day since you've rested for so long," Haje said, slithering away casually, leaving Chloe in thought.

Chloe didn't like the idea that gods were so petty. After all, Gods are meant to be all powerful, right? Chloe huffed, rubbing her forehead with a touch of annoyance before walking to get changed into something for the day. 

She settled on an outfit similar to what she used to wear all the time, simply because of a lack of options. Maybe she could sell one of the bracelets and get a more practical wardrobe. She didn’t bother doing more than brushing her hair and leaving it down, and completely skipped makeup altogether. She looked far plainer than she used to but could finally stand looking at herself in the mirror as she nodded with appreciation.

"Ok let's get this day started!" Chloe said, getting her phone out and shooting a text to Sabrina to see if she was free to hang out. She grabbed the bracelets and stashed them in the back of her closet. They were far too valuable to wear around, unless maybe she had to attend a gala of some kind. 

She made sure to grab the paints, canvas, and stencils before making her way out the door and making her way towards the elevator shooting a smile at Jean as she did, who visibly sagged with relief at the sight of her up and about. 

"I'll be going to the park! Be back later, ok?" Chloe called out to him. 

"Be safe, Mademoiselle," Jean responded politely as he recovered.

Chloe entered the elevator and pressed the button for the first floor, hoping to avoid her father and get out quickly. Which thankfully wasn't hard when your father was the mayor. She was able to leave with no interference or distractions but sadly the response from Sabrina made her pause almost in disbelief.

"She's busy…" Chloe pouted as she slowly resumed walking to the park with her items in hand.

"What were you planning to do at the park with her?" Naje communicated through the bond.

"I don't know. Maybe chat, actually learn stuff about her, and be a better friend while knocking off the rust from my past life. See if I can still paint as well as I can somewhat recall?" Chloe responded looking around at the beautiful buildings and the people making her way through one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

It might seem odd coming from a girl who had been chauffeured most of her life but she loved walking more than driving. She couldn't figure out why but she knew it came from the life she had lived before shedding and she was determined to fill in all the missing pieces of that life.

After a while she finally reached the park, feeling enlived by the sounds of laughter and seeing people playing and running around having fun. Chloe looked around before heading over to a nice spot that gave her a good view of everything.

"Okay Chloe, time to see if you can still do this,” She breathed softly after setting up the canvas, her paints and stencils. She looked nervously at the canvas, taking a deep breath and beginning to sketch out random things around her. The weather, a child running around, a bird in a tree, or a roller skater going past the fountain. Soon, Chloe lost herself in drawing, starting to just draw things she could think of, focusing on small things she could remember, vague impressions of people she met as she was sketching faces that she knew but couldn't name well. The exception was Roman and his smile. As she began the next sketch she dug deep, getting the impression of something more.

—--

"So what's this book series about?" Chloe was asking, looking up from the strange books to the blurry impressions that could maybe her students. 

"Well, we don't wanna spoil anything, just read these two sets and tell us which you prefer. We can go from there." The voice that came from a figure that had a southern tone thicker than Roman’s and spoke far more excited than she could ever remember Roman being.

"She's gonna pick our set, you redneck." That voice sounded female with an Asian accent, Japanese if Chloe were to guess.

"Stuff it you rice-" 

"Hey, be polite or I'm not reading either sets! I agreed to try this hobby if you all were at your best, remember?" Chloe responded with a stern tone.

"Yes ma'am," the class responded as one.

"Good. Now, I'll give them a read but there's no promise I'll enjoy either of them, ok? Especially with titles like Galaxy in Flames and Sons of the Forest." 

Chloe’s confusion was palpable even hearing those names.

"But I'll try. For now class is dismissed. I'll see you all at the event tomorrow, ok?" 

The class all agreed and began to file out. Leaving Chloe to turn her attention to the blurry books, their covers finally coming into focus. 

—--

"Hey, earth to Chloe!!!" And with that, Chloe was brought out of the memory, jumping and looking around in confusion. She raised her stencil like a dagger momentarily before quickly shoving her hands into her lap and tried not to blush with embarrassment.

"Man, you must really get into the zone when you're drawing." 

Chloe looked towards the voice and found Alix waving at her with a grin. The short red head was sitting beside Chloe with her legs crossed and very close for that matter. She closed what little distance there was between them as she shifted her attention to Chloe’s canvas, "And I gotta say those drawings ain't half bad."

Chloe turned from Alix back to her canvas and saw that she had drawn a myriad of images. Most of them were Roman with different expressions but there were some teens she didn't recognize down in one corner, and finally a man with a stern gaze but a soft smile up in the top right corner. Both Roman and this man brought a strange warmth to her chest and a smile to her face. 

"So is that guy an actor or someone you know? Cause you drew him a lot," Alix asked, pointing to Roman before she smirked slyly. “Does Ms Bougie Bourgeois have a crush?”

“What?!” Chloe nearly shrieked as she leapt to her feet. As fond as she felt about Roman in the memories she could recall, the idea of it being anything more felt…wrong.

“No! He’s…” Chloe struggled to come up with an answer that wasn’t an outright lie.

“Relax, Chloe, I was just messing with you,” Alix said as she sat back with a sigh. “Who’d have thought I’d find Chloe Bourgeois behaving like a normal girl?”

“Who says I’m not acting normal?” Chloe demanded with a stamp of her foot.

“Uh, everyone? You know you haven’t threatened to call your daddy on anyone in days?” Alix said as she stood up. Somehow, even though Chloe was much taller, the spunky girl seemed far more imposing as she invaded Chloe’s personal space.

“And you’re bothering me why?” Chloe asked as she tried to draw herself up even as she cringed internally for sounding like how she used to. Why was Alix making her feel so defensive?

“Because I want to know what’s with the sudden change. You tried to take on a freakin’ Akuma and not because it messed up your outfit,” Alix said, her lip curling in nearly a sneer.

“Well, I couldn’t just stand there and do nothing,” Chloe sniffed dismissively.

“You mean like you normally do? You show up acting weird one day, nearly get killed trying to help, start acting like you’re a different, better person, and then you disappear for two days. Most of us didn’t even know you were sick until Marinette spoke up saying she saw you looking horrible. So yeah Chloe, I’m asking what’s happened to you,” Alix as she crossed her arms as if she were daring Chloe to try to get her to budge from her mission.

“It’s complicated and really none of your business,” Chloe said through grit teeth, starting to regret trying to enjoy herself in public. She could have painted just fine on her patio back at the hotel.

“In case you haven’t noticed, Chloe, I’m making it my business. So do tell, what’s so complicated that it made you wanna change so bad?” Alix asked as she leaned in once more

Chloe bit her lip before sighing. Maybe the truth wouldn’t hurt, at least too much. “I just looked in the mirror and realized I kind of hate myself and who I was becoming.” Chloe said it as a joke but the truth behind the words was there and it took all her willpower to meet Alix’s eyes.

The last thing Chloe expected was Alix’s expression to soften as her challenging smirk fell into a frown.

“Sheesh, Chloe, are you ok? Like really?” Alix asked far more gently as she shifted closer incrementally. “Have you talked to anyone about this?”

Chloe blinked at the shift in Alix’s behavior, “Now who’s acting weird?”

“I’m worried about you, you dummy!” Alix snapped, her face flushing nearly to match her hair.

Chloe blinked in confusion, especially as something about the expression on Alix’s face filled her with a dizzying sense of deja vu.

“Whoa, Chloe!” Alix cried out as she lunged forward and caught Chloe as she began to sway on her feet. “Seriously, are you ok?”

Chloe gave her head a shake before looking at the way Alix was holding her, making the pair of them look like the oddest romance novel cover. It made her cheeks burn crimson and she quickly pulled away from the skater girl.

“I’m fine. I think I just need to eat something,” Chloe said as she brushed her hair from her face. 

“Well in that case, I think the cavalry has arrived,” Alix said with a nod.

Chloe turned to face the direction Alix was looking and found Marinette approaching with a picnic basket in hand.

Marinette slowed as she neared the two of them and stood some ways off awkwardly.

“Hi Alix, Chloe. Nice to see you two. I’m happy to see you’re feeling better, Chloe. Care to join me for lunch?” Marinette said somewhat stiffly, forcing a smile.

Alix seemed to pick up the fact that Marinette’s attention was focused solely on Chloe and shrugged. “I’ll pass, but thanks for the offer, Marinette. I’ve been sitting around long enough.”

Before Alix left, she dropped her voice so only Chloe could hear her, “It seems like someone is Miss Popular for real, for once.”

Chloe started and looked after Alix, both mystified by the girl’s behavior and wanting her to stay so she wouldn’t have to talk to Marinette. She stopped herself from calling out to Alix at the last moment, it would be cowardly to use someone as a shield for a conversation that was going to happen sooner or later.

“Is there actually food in there?” Chloe asked as she turned back to Marinette.

“Of course, and lots of it. Tiki told me about how taxing Numinous healing can be. You need your strength after two days of sleeping,” Marinette said as she laid out a blanket and began setting out food. Despite how calmly she spoke, Chloe could sense Marinette was coiled tight like a spring.

“So Tiki knows about Naje and Haje?” Chloe asked softly as she watched Marinette set the food down. Honestly, for once she could empathize with Marinette, it felt like Naje and Haje were preparing to strike and it made every muscle in her body ache with tension. She had to force herself to settle into a cross-legged position.

“She does, and about how someone can become a Numinous wielder, especially the snakes of truth,” Marinette said as she poured a glass of tea and held it out to Chloe.

“Judges of Truth!” came a tiny duo of hisses from Chloe’s lap as Haje and Naje glared at Marinette.

“Oh put a sock in it, you two!” came a small voice from the picnic basket as the lid lifted to reveal a creature Chloe had once mistaken for a keychain decoration.

“Tiki!” Marinette whispered fiercely, glancing at the kwami out of the corner of her eye.

“Sorry, Marinette,” Tiki mumbled before sinking out of sight.

“Glad to see I’m not the only one who has trouble keeping theirs in line,” Chloe muttered, sharing a look of genuine amusement with Marinette before glancing down at Haje and Naje. “You two keep quiet. This is a conversation between humans.”

“Fine, but if she attempts anything, our poisons work just as well in any form,” Haje replied before he and Naje coiled into a tight bundle in Chloe’s lap, staying on guard.

“I’m sorry about that, Marinette,” Chloe said as she finally reached out to take the tea. “I’m guessing you have a whole speech planned out?”

“I’ve got several, each based on how hostile you might be, but I wasn’t expecting this so I’ll just try to speak plainly,” Marinette said as she continued acting as hostess and served Chloe several specialty macarons. “I think you should give up this Numinous artifact.”

Chloe paused with a macaron raised halfway to her mouth, fixing Marinette with a flat stare.

“Tiki has told me all about her encounters with the previous wielders. One of these people killed a user of the Ladybug Miraculous because she dared to save a woman’s life! I don’t know how long you’ve had this Numinous but it can’t be a coincidence that you’ve made such amazing changes recently. What if you’re told to come after me, to…kill me? Would you really undo all of this wonderful progress just to keep these powers?”

Chloe sat quietly until the end, at which point she nearly exploded. Fortunately, she had the presence of mind to keep her rage to a harsh whisper, “It is because of these powers that I’ve been able to change, Marinette. You have no idea what I’ve been through and I won’t have you talk down to me because you’re afraid we might end up on opposite sides. In case you’ve forgotten, Miraculous wearers aren’t perfect or does Hawkmoth not count for some reason?”

Marinette drew in on herself at Chloe’s word, her hands clenching her knees. Rather than continue the argument, Marinette took a deep breath and let it out slowly before looking up at Chloe.

“How did you know I was Ladybug? I’ve worked very hard to keep that secret,” Marinette said, unable to keep a hint of fear from her voice that clearly said, ‘If Chloe could find out my secret identity, then anyone could.’

Chloe nibbled her lip hesitantly. She certainly wasn’t going to tell Marinette the whole story.

“Let’s just say that after what I’ve been through, I’m not the same Chloe that you used to know,” Chloe said softly as she stared into her cup of tea. Her gaze shifted to the uneaten macaron in her hand. “And to that end, there’s one other thing I have to say to you.”

Chloe drew herself up and couldn’t help noticing that Marinette tensed in anticipation.

“I’ve apologized to Sabrina and Adrien for being a bad friend, but the person I have to apologize to most of all is you, Marinette,” Chloe said, not feeling the same heartache she had when talking to Adrien and Sabrina, but still feeling her stomach jump nervously as she spoke. “You never deserved any of the cruel or spiteful things I put you through and I’m sorry for every mean, rude, or hurtful thing I’ve ever said or done. I’m not saying this to try to convince you to trust me as a wielder of a Numinous. As I said the other night, I’d rather we stay out of each other’s way in that regard.”

Marinette stared in shock, nearly dropping her own plate of macarons before catching them from slipping off. As she recovered and straightened up again, she couldn’t help whispering almost to herself, “Are you really Chloe?”

Chloe couldn’t help smiling at the shocked expression on Marinette’s face, “Don’t ruin the moment, baker girl.”

That seemed to convince Marinette and she smiled softly before nodding and turning her focus to the meal again. They ate in relative silence for a while before Tiki whispered something to Marinette as she bent towards the basket that made the girl start.

“Uhm, Chloe, this might be a bit personal, but those scars, on your stomach, where did they come from?” Marinette asked, either nervous or feeling second hand embarrassment at remembering how little Chloe’s hero outfit covered.

‘Like she has room to talk,” Chloe thought, ‘Her Ladybug outfit is practically skintight! I should know, I used to run around in one playing pretend.’ 

“I’d rather not talk about it, but I’ll say it has everything to do with how I came to be Haje and Naje’s wielder,” Chloe said, reaching down to run her knuckle along the snake’s body.

Marinette nodded though she looked as if she wanted to ask more questions. Perhaps she would have but at that moment several voices called out in greeting. Alya, Nino and several other classmates were making their way over.

“This talk was…nice,” Chloe said before she downed the last of her tea, “but I should get going.”

“Chloe, wait, you don’t have to go,” Marinette said as she turned back from waving to the others.

“We might still end up enemies,” Chloe said somberly. “I’d rather not make things more awkward if necessary.”

“WHOOPS!” Another voice shouted, causing Chloe and Marinette to turn towards it. Chloe grunted as Alix bowled into her, sending them both sprawling with Alix laying atop Chloe.

“What’s the big idea?” Chloe demanded with a groan.

“Sorry, Chloe, had to avoid a stick someone left on the path,” Alix said as she pushed herself up, looming over Chloe in a way that made Chloe’s cheeks warm. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No-” Chloe started to say before Alix cut her off.

“No sense in taking any chances? I couldn’t agree more. Why don’t we both rest here for a bit and enjoy some of Marinette’s delicious snacks,” Alix said in a rush before easing herself down beside Chloe.

Chloe would have snapped at Alix but the others finally reached them and then it was a flurry of conversation, including several people commenting on Chloe’s canvas. Before Chloe knew it, she was thoroughly ensconced by the others, with Alix practically sidled up right against her.

“We both know you’re too good a skater to have crashed from a stupid stick,” Chloe whispered so only Alix could hear.

“Does that mean you watch me skate that often?” Alix shot back without hesitation, glancing at Chloe with a smirk that left Chloe speechless for the rest of the picnic.

Edited and co-written by GrayNeko