#i have assignments but this is what i did instead

[multipleoccupancy]

Theo drew in a breath as they spoke of what it had been like after Sloane's betrayal. He missed working with Samantha in the field but he was so relieved she had an office position that kept her safe instead. He thought about Violet and her potential disorders. He had noticed she stayed away from the big window in the past, but he also understood why. "They manifest and you work them out as you go. I didn't really understand my OCD for a long time and then the paranoia made it much harder to reach out for an explanation." His counterpart had done a number on her thought and he had to think for a moment on what to say. "I suspect that a fear of heights is only natural after what you have been through. But you see now how these things come about?"

He nodded about there being enough agents to merit a HR department, though even he didn't know exact numbers. However he should have expected her to fire off with relentless questions. Theo did feel overwhelmed for a moment and he wondered if he should shut the conversation down or risk destabilising how far he had come in the last few days. There was plenty there he wouldn't answer and he regretted opening up the option for her to ask. "They send another agent still, I have recruited a couple of people myself. I sit with them and talk about the work and ask them to join, giving them instructions on what to expect." Whether or not that was the right way he wasn't sure but he felt it was the best he could offer.

He purposefully skipped over how he was assigned missions and coded messages, she had a letter from Delta Green and that was enough. He didn't want her digging through his mail looking for triangles to see if or where he was going next. "I no longer have a team," he said plainly, "My team was Samantha and Sloane and he went and put an end to that. Since then I am either sent to other groups of agents on missions to discipline or lecture them or partnered up with agents when I am needed. They're strangers." Most of them anyway. Despite his trust issues he still had favourites. He dodged over the questions on monsters and she gave him the perfect excuse to do so with her final question. She should not have known about the Apocalypse Club and he raised a very fatherly eyebrow at her.

"It's a cultist ring, I am the lead agent in bringing it down one by one. Middle-Sized Tony is one of their leaders." He did not specify it was in the city, nor that it was a physical place, not wanting Violet to go looking. "They're very dangerous people. A lot more put together and in control than Sloane. They mainly work in crime and amass ridiculous funds through it." Of course he had his own instructions on handling them from the Horned One but he had to bring cultists in enough that he was still able to stay the lead, in a way he felt it balanced out. "I wouldn't normally leave my files out like that, I am sorry I did and you saw. It won't happen again." There was still elements of fear in his tone despite himself, as if he was preparing to be punished in the back of his mind and trying to mitigate against it.

However, he saw her embarrassment about the letter incident and shook his head. "I should have been more respectful in how I handled that too. I never meant to upset you but I panicked," Theo explained honestly and watched her carefully in case he upset her further. "I'm sorry I shredded your letter," this apology much more genuine than the last. "I should have explained this to you sooner. But it's easier now that you know why I didn't want you to read it. I was so scared."

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 & 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 @multipleoccupancy

"It must have been difficult," she mused a little bit sadly, "when Samantha stopped working as an agent. If she was the only one you trusted..." Her dad must have felt really alone, especially after Sloane's betrayal. "I understand that you're distrustful, after what Sloane did." But then again, it seemed that was a disorder, gained from his time as an agent. "How will I know if... if I have a disorder? I've seen so many things already. And... I still can't get anywhere close to the window." Violet didn't usually talk about that. She supposed it was obvious, and yet she pretended it wasn't an issue.

Violet was very curious about Samantha's job, now. Luckily for her, Samantha was around. Maybe she could ask her about it? "There are a lot of agents, then?" Enough for Delta Green to need an HR representative.

Her dad had just allowed her to ask him whatever she wanted to know, and yet Violet fell silent for a few seconds. The questions were jostling each other in her mind, leaving her speechless. She felt like it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and didn't want to waste it on stupid questions! "How do they recruit agents now, then? And how do they tell you your missions? Do they send coded messages? Do you know the other agents on your team?" Surely her dad wouldn't be surprised to hear her firing questions at an impressive rate. Fastest draw in New York! "What's the scariest monster you've ever seen? How many monsters have you killed?" And finally, a question she asked with a blush on her cheeks: "What's the Apocalypse Club? I just- your file was opened on the table, and I saw the name."

After that, she had to take a moment to catch her breath.

"I understand now, why you were worried. Why you shred the letter. You were just protecting me. They shouldn't have sent that letter in the first place, not after what they did to you." Violet looked down, embarrassed by the huge tantrum she had thrown about that letter.

[muirmarie]

mccoy and spock get together towards the end of the five year mission, and spock is very, "obviously the doctor is aware that vulcans do not have casual relationships and almost always mate for life" and mccoy is, of course, "getting that damn vulcan to open up is like pulling teeth, how am i supposed to know how he feels about me" and this causes new and exciting problems when they're trying to sort out what they're DOING after the end of the five year mission

and mccoy is trying to subtly figure out if spock has any interest in being stationed together, and spock is, of course, the doctor is my mate, of course we will stay together, and mccoy gets offered this really exciting opportunity at a cutting edge research station that's still hands on enough with patients that it's perfect for him, and he kind of tosses it out there one evening to spock, hoping to get something from the bastard, and instead spock just skims through and stone face is like "in my opinion you should accept, it is precisely the opportunity you've been looking for" and mccoy sits there after spock leaves, like okay!!! i guess we're breaking up?? is this not even enough of a relationship for him to consider it a break up??? i may have to kill him. no jury would convict me. what! is! he! thinking!, and spock goes back to his quarters and immediately sends them a message like "i would like to apply for a position as well :)"

and mccoy still won't fucjing SAY what he MEANS because he doesn't want to be left vulnerable now that he's convinced himself that spock simply Doesn't Care Enough, and every time he at least tries to get like, some meaningful goodbye moments???? spock keeps blowing him off??? meanwhile spock is like "it is rewarding to know that the doctor wants to spend time with me, but i know he will miss our friends, and as his mate it is important for me to make sure he spends enough time with his friends before we all leave the ship", and then when mccoy says he's going to go visit joanna before he starts his new assignment, spock's like =/ wish he invited me along but I will respect his wishes and says he's going to go to vulcan between assignments, and then it's over! they're saying goodbye! and spock! just! leaves! and mccoy is just. absolutely furious and trying So Hard to Not Care but also!!! so!!!! furious!!!!

so anyway imagine his surprise when he arrives at the research facility for his new assignment three weeks later, and they're like "doctor mccoy!! so nice to meet you! your husband arrived two days ago, and he took it upon himself to set up your shared quarters and your office to your liking, but let us know if you need anything else, we're so thrilled to have you on board!"

and mccoy is just.

"i'm sorry. what did you just say?"

and spock comes walking out like everything is normal, and gives him the little vulcan finger kiss, and turns to the welcome party and says, "husband is a simplification of a vulcan term - we have not performed the human marriage rites, but he is my mate"

anyway yeah mccoy probably tries to strangle him.

they make a great first impression.

[pendarling]

Tsundere Character Prompts

Nearly passing out every time Character B does something cute

Constantly angry with themselves for never being forward or clear enough

Struggling to give Character B a compliment of any kind and instead giving vague responses or dismissing them entirely

Character A is trying everything in their power not to lay their head onto Character B's lap

^^^ Or imagine having Character B sit on Character A's lap

Desperately wanting comforting hugs or giving comforting hugs to B but being reduced to half-baked attempts at comforting.

Panicking at the thought of sharing straws or spoons

Unconsciously touching Character B's thigh while driving and then pulling away, only to end up touching them again instinctively

Wanting to hold Character B's hands, but it's so hard, and what if it's just as soft as they expected? What if Character B noticed how clammy their palms felt?

Wanting to make their favourite food as a kind gesture but not wanting to come off as too caring

Wishing for even the slightest chance Character B could ask them to take a shower together but knowing that it could never happen

Unintentionally staring/checking Character B out

Following everywhere they go and missing them greatly when they're not in their line of sight

Worrying every second, even when they're gone for just a few minutes longer

Their heart is always pounding at every close proximity

Dismissing their daydreams with Character B as childish thoughts

Overthinking scenarios in their head

Silently saying, "I love you," half hoping they didn't hear it and half hoping they did and won't mention it

Wishing that Character B would kiss them soon

When Character B says they will do Character A a favour, they instantly think of something affectionate

Wanting 110% of Character B's attention all the time

Getting jealous when Character B smiles at someone else because Character A wants that to be reserved for them

Pretending not to be affected by the way Character B calls their name

Hiding the blush on their face from Character B

Saying they would never do something for Character B and then doing it anyway

Warding off any other potential love interests with just their presence

Character A looking at other couples doing activities like feeding each other or slow dancing

Becoming Character B's partner for assignments/jobs that require two people

Instantly freezing when Character B sleeps on their shoulder

^^^Or sharing a bed and trying not touch or think about the way Character B is breathing so calmly and safely in their presence

^^^Or leaning in to listen to Character B as they talk in their sleep

Overhearing and eavesdropping on Character B talking with Character C about them

Feigning disinterest when Character B brings them a gift and then mumbling a "thank you"

Disciplining Character B for not preparing properly for the weather and giving them their gloves/jacket/scarf/umbrella

Cleaning Character B's wounds/taking care of them when B is sick because "they can't do it themselves/are so uselss"

Pulling Character B out of dangerous situations but not because they were worried, only because it's stupid

Mouthing off other characters that talk down about Character B

Genuinely feeling happy when it's Character B that's worried sick about them instead

Thinking that Character B looks cute when they cry but never says it out loud

Pretending to be annoyed at supervising or guarding Character B but secretly overjoyed at having an excuse to be alone with them now

Accidentally saying something possesive

FOR MORE LIKE THIS: Unrequited/One-side Pining/Forbidden Romance Master List Portal

~~~

MASTERLIST

[sun-flower-children]

Academic Rivals! Viktor x Reader

Academy Student!Viktor x gn!Reader

Here's my take on this idea that has been rumbling around my brain especially with all the new viktor fics ( yall are doing the lords work)

not proof read + a lot longer than I thought it would be, sorry lmao

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were the Academy's top student known to be the top of the class with the highest scores always exceeding expectations.

Your creative thinking and problem solving is what normally got you the spotlight of attention within academia.

Naturally after spending your first two years of the Academy eating up the attention and receiving offers from multiple elite members of society, industry and government certainly made your resume/reputation an intimidating one.

Your peers knew you to be competitive and ambitious wanting to be the one to set the curve; extensive research projects, etc.

This did however make you a poor teammate with your passionate ideas that one of them could dream of keeping up with you. Plus you would steal the leadership role from them to implement the changes you'd want.

You had gotten used to pattern created for you with a bright future ahead.

Even if you were getting kind of bored of knowing that your worst idea would still allow you to keep your rank.

Then all the sudden a new student joins the Academy

It didn't bother you much until you started seeing a drop in your scores and ranking thus creating a rivalry with this mysterious student.

It was not until you and Viktor shared a class that you realized who your academic opponent was

Thus starting a new chapter of your academic career with renewed passion upon knowing there was finally someone that could equal you in skill.

Fighting for everything within the academic realm that was available

Now neither of you had ever officially been introduced or carried a proper conversation instead replacing regular communication with pointed looks of smugness or confidence.

You would have angry fits in private realizing the margin that you had lost to Viktor

Long days and nights spent gaining a potential advantage over your rival.

Your friends would point out how you would almost pop a vein just describing the way that he would "usurp the first place on an exam all because of a technicality"

Honestly when you would get really into it you were sure that you hated this guy: coming out of nowhere with no prior history and just takes over everything you have worked hard to establish.

Who does he think he is????

Now all your professors, namely Himerdinger paid close attention to this rivalry. It's entertaining watching your top 2 students hash it out and creating things they would not have without this push.

Himerdinger seeing how honed in your other skills were decided to create a project for the class specifically targeting you both.

A partnered project

One that could not change neither the topic, the partner or the day that it was to be presented; everything set in stone.

" Learning the skills needed in a lab is one thing but the most important and impactful discoveries have always been those created through teamwork." Himerdinger would share one fateful day as he put up the paper listing the groups.

It did not even cross your mind that you would have been paired with Viktor and after looking at the poster turned around a looked at him.

Viktor was still sitting in his front row seat in the lecture room patiently waiting for the crowd to dissipate before getting up to look at the paper.

He continued to wrap up whatever notes he had taken as you step up to him.

"We are assigned partners for this project." you say very matter a factly.

Viktor looks up to you with a small smile," Well then, we should set up times to work on the project together. What times work best for you?"

You were taken aback by his nonchalance.

Did he really not care that he was partnered with you? Did he not see you as significant enough to mention the obvious tension? Did he not even see you as a rival but a regular student below him???

After a short pause you share what time you are normally at the library.

As you share the details he finished packing up his stuff.

Looking back up to with another slightly bigger smile (what is his game???) " I'll see you then. Tomorrow at table four."

With that he leans on his cane and leaves you in the quiet empty classroom to deliberate your next moves.

That night you started working on the project creating multiple schemes, ideas, and conceptual ideas that could be used for the project put forth.

You went to bed hoping to finally force him to recognize you as the rival that you were as he seemed so dismissive before.

You showed up to the library at the arranged time to see Viktor sitting peacefully at a study table thumbing through multiple volumes seemingly looking for a specific piece of information.

"Good Morning." you started as you walked up to him.

Without even looking up he returns the same early day greeting and places yet another volume aside and opening a new one.

Raising an eyebrow that the attitude you place your things on the other side of the table.

"I was thinking last night about this project and had written down some ideas that I believe that we should pick from as our approach." you open the discussion with no changed behavior from your supposed teammate.

You continue, " I have already taken the liberty to research them, for your convenience, and have supplied preliminary data for each one. Honestly any of these would resolve the problem raised by our projects prompt with their main difference being how creative you wanted to get with it."

Viktor has created yet another pile of abandoned books that didn't meet his mysterious criteria all the while not regarding you properly.

Your felt your self becoming more warmer as you felt the irritation pool into the oil pit of anger you have created surrounding him.

"It's considered polite to respond or at the very least acknowledge when someone is talking to you. Or are you so focused on your book hunt you aren't ever looking at the person you are supposed to be completing this project with."

Viktor sighs putting the book currently in his possession down and looks up to you.

"It was not my intention to be rude I am just looking for a specific volume that has a unique perspective on the concept we learned a week ago but the title is slipping my mind."

Sighing you sit down and observe the collection of books created on the table.

"I'm going to go on a limb here and assume that you only really remember that the color of the book was dark blue?"

Viktor chuckled," Observant and yes I am."

"Well you aren't going to find it in the library considering there is only one copy of it. That author's take was considered almost heretic."

"Ah, so you are familiar with the book I am referencing?"

"It would be strange if I didn't considering that I brought it with me to our meeting. I checked it out a week ago because it piqued my interest and also happened to align with this assignment."

You hold it out over the table as Viktor sighs again running a hand through his hair.

The meeting ended up going on for longer than expected.

You were surprised to find that he has a similar perspective to yours and understood your vision from the multiple proposals that you had created.

Further analysis showed some minor flaws that would otherwise be overlooked by other people; but neither of you too were not going to settle for anything less than perfection.

The more that the two of you poured over ideas, equations, concepts, and plans until you came up with a path that pleased you both with only one variable that needing some testing.

Viktor offered to go his smaller private study that he had already set up a similar experiment (he was also trying ideas out the night before)

Walking side by side down the hallways was a strange feeling.

Not because you were walking slower that your default rushed walking pace but because this person that you had, honestly, really hated and rationalized that was cheating somehow....wasn't.

You hated to admit it as you continued to listen to his rambling on of the missing component that they needed to figure out.

(Shit...he is actually just naturally brilliant)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

part 1 | part 2 >

[starberry-cupcake]

SHORT STORY + BONUSES (read it like when gollum says bagginses) INTERMISSION!!! Today we'll take some time to dive into the Harrow bonuses and a couple of short stories, one of which I should have read before, but such is life.

previously, in the tlt universe:

I finished harrowcita del 9

Bonus 1: BoE google doc for the soldiers

differently from the other recaps, I did these while I was reading them, not when I finished reading a whole chapter/story

so maybe the thoughts are more rambly than usual

sorry about that

ANYWAY I have to give it to the BoE folks, they've got a lot to deal with over here

they're like the audience, coming into this blind

and have to try to understand how necromancers operate on the fly

'bullet to the head but don't be too confident on that' seems to be the most useful tidbit

it's like a resident evil gameplay

BoE is in resident evil, gideon is in survivor and harrow is in a gothic pulp novel

the advice for engaging lyctors is "avoid them at all costs"

I keep spelling it BoA instead of BoE because of her

blood of adam? blood of awake me up when september ends? idk

Pronounciation guide (aka I do what I want, but apparently pronounce nonagesimus like the author)

dr reverend emperor john chose the name gaius for himself, it wasn't his real name

gaius sounds like gallo, the spanish name for gallus gallus domesticus, which in english would translate to cock and alludes to the fact that he is a dick

agustine is pronounced like in english and not like in spanish (agustín), I have been pronouncing that one right but I could have called him agustín all this time

cassiopeia was a queen but we already knew that

sixth house, ceramics, cooking, checks every one of my boxes

"CRIS-ta-bell. Rather than “crees”."

what is the difference oh my god is there a difference there

pyrrah is achilles's drag name, which is cool

valancy and cyrus were like this

I'm still gonna call the mithraeum mithrandir whatnot the emperor's bolthole, it's in the sacred text

the nonniad is in dactylic enneameter, which is a ninth version of greek epics (which are hexameters) and it's making me send my ancient greek professor from uni good vibes wherever he is

Glossary

we know more about the beasts now, or have more ordered info, the gist of it is this

so the RBs are only the nine OGs from the nine planets of dominicus that the emperor fucked up

those are the ones that can go from the river to the physical world and viceversa

the other minor beasts can only exist in the river

I still think this is all the emperor's and the lyctors's fault for starting this nonsense and killing planets for power and whatnot

so yeah, Consequences of your Actions, johnny boy

the heralds, as we had established, are kind of like borg, responding to the RBs

necromancers kinda go mad at all this as if they were looking at cthulhu

I wanted to google what the two first verses of wake's name were but the first results that pop up are tlt sources and I'm not looking into that, in case of spoilers

I've already come this far without massive spoilers, I'm not gonna risk that now

what quotes would you like to have as a name if you were one of these folks?

If I could choose three, I'd probably pick: Yo tengo el corazón como la espuma / das Leben Sie nicht vergessen hat, daß es Sie in der Hand hält / Quieto en la tierra y sentir que mis pies tienen raíz

probably un monceau d’idées et un monceau de douleurs would be another contender considered

idk how that'd be shortened though, maybe espie because espuma

house quiz was book 1, boe name assignment is book 2

The Mysterious Study of Doctor [tumblr keeps blocking my post and I'm gonna try to avoid this word to see if this is it]

ANYWAY, SIXTH HOUSE TIME

from the blurb I can tell that:

1) all this time I thought Dr S was like a funny nickname someone had given palmolive for being correspondence-horny lmao

2) is this the magnus institute???

3) "Enter Palamedes Sextus and Camilla Hect, age thirteen" we're gonna look at some baby picturessss

"Every thirteen-year-old necromancer in the Sixth House is gifted."

"I was born with four kids in my generation eligible to produce children with me. Palamedes had two"

maybe that's why he went for a correspondence gf

camilla describing that's she's the best and me just going

this thing of 'being attractive' as a category would get me demoted at the sixth, though

but working in data, I can do that

I am really liking archivist zeta

there's something that was sealed for a lot of years and now is unsealed and that's very exciting!!!!

lost media!!!!

so many stairs would be a problem for me, but there's lost media at the end of the tunnel

archivist zeta: don't touch anything

palmolive: including the bone hands?

archivist zeta: the what now

apparently the hands are younger than the time the room has been sealed

with the forms being color-coded, I'm starting to think this is less magnus institute and more office of incident assessment and response 

them making references to other houses remind me that other houses socialized, seeing everything from the ninth made me feel like everyone was isolated all the time lol

add to my list of sixth house love the fact that we have murder mysteries now too

gotta love the sixth house

kinda ominous the hand bones now that we know what we know, of camilla carrying palmolive as a tamagotchi in a bone hand after harrow changed the skull

palmolive and camilla age 13 are a whole other book I would have devoured at age 13 myself btw

giving me his dark materials vibes

there was a skeleton in the air vents above the hands

camilla says she's gonna start taking measuring tape with her alongside everything else and I also can relate to going places with 25 million things, just in case

palmolive steals pens, apparently

I've used this meme for palmolive before but it still fits

the skeleton was possessed by the dr himself, he got kinda stuck on his way there after the fifth person tried to call him and got his hands into his study through skeleton shenaningans

palmolive needs to touch something in order to prove the "why" and everyone votes in favor, because he's on a roll

the cool wooden orb that was in the desk was a cool wooden puzzle, like the Karakuri Creation Group ones

man, I love those

the dr solving a puzzle after his death and coming back to prove it is me with some niche puzzles I used to have a sideblog for

don't ask me

there was paper inside and everyone got outside super fast and started congratulating each other (hello????? you did nothing????) and shaking camilla's and palmolive's hands

they don't wanna give palmolive multiple points for solving a several hundread years old mystery, which isn't fair tbh

"Don’t expire in a fit of hubris." oofffffffff

the paper had letters, which palmolive thinks are love letters

with his years of experience on pining letters

the one at the ends says "Tomorrow you will become a Lyctor and finally go where I can’t follow"

is this about cassie??? aka cassiopeia????

loved the camilla and palmolive murder mystery dinner

As Yet Unsent

this is judith's diary and this is how I imagine she looked while writing it and judging people

judith assisted the BoE with her own healing but it's kinda tough when you're also handcuffed and with your eyes covered and whatnot

judith is still in the emperor's side

I don't blame her, she hasn't met the man

yandere twin has met him and still saved him so, I can't judge judith too much

there's a corpse that isn't rotting

promising stuff

there's a commander called We Suffer

they're wearing masks and camilla is being "converted" to their cause

and she didn't even meet the man, but apparently BoE had contact with the sixth house at some point in the past

cassie?????? is this you??????? who knows

sixth house though, earning more points

also, camilla says that palmolive would want to find out what they know and, you know what, fair

I would too

camilla is also good at chess, because she's good at everything

they're playing ceiling chess like in queen's gambit

judith thinks about martita, who will soon do some awesome things next to mati nonnius

judith is also marinating the fact that everyone was fooled by the twinsies and the fact that regina george twin has no necromancy

she also complains about her being too emotional and prone to trust people

every point regina george twin makes about BoE sounds pretty solid to me tbh

the more I see, the more I think the emperor is a dick, like his name implies

judith argues with regina george twin a lot but also notices that her ears go pink when she's impassioned so...why are you noticing that judith????

how did you notice that???? *smirks knowingly*

judith has to deal with the limitations of medical care when you don't have a bunch of people who do body magic stuff

so she's dealing with recovery in a slow way and with machines plugged to her

it's hard for her because she was from the house where necros are also very able to do physical stuff

camilla is giving her strongly worded positive reinforcement

regina george twin and judith have a lot of moments that go from flirty to fighting

I can't keep using smirk reactions images so (¬‿¬)

regina george twin is also being trained to be rambo barbie and I think that suits her

"In a different time I would have found ways to apologise to Palamedes Sextus, whom I at the very least critically misjudged"

palmolive always getting the indirect compliments my goodness

he's so popular

"The princess has by turns tried to charm Camilla, play with Camilla, flirt with Camilla, and cajole Camilla. Camilla is currently unmoved"

nobody's good enough for her, regina george twin, move along

regina george twin is also being kinda aphobic towards judith's response on her being uninterested to romance camilla

I don't think judith is aro at all but that doesn't mean we have to be assholes about it, regina george twin, thank you

judith and regina george twin think BoE is wrong about necros having orgies and I'm here like

so, apparently, judith propositioned martita because she was pretty much obsessed with her

and martita said no

and she thinks camilla is holding onto tamgagotchi palmolive out of some sense of not wanting to let go of him

unaware of the fact that he's in his river loft waiting for his bones to be womanhandled by harrowcita

also, the BoE has an old ship that judith wasn't helpful with, so they don't really have much patience with her

regina george twin and judith keep flirting in that intense tlt way

I'm starting to think regina george twin has a big crush on judith and I'm here for the dynamics of that

"It said, Ugh! Then it said, Eugh!" is this mercygirl??? it sounds like mercygirl to me

and fixing someone's insides as if they were cleaning a sewing machine also sounds very mercygirl

mercygirl is also curious about this body that doesn't rot and I wanna know what it is because I want so bad for it to be gideon-related but I can't let myself hope

also, she gave them the coordinates to find harrow in the cool planet

"And Camilla said, The Warden and I know they can die like anyone else" 👀

"The corpse of the Ninth House cavalier is as pristine as when Camilla Hect convinced them to take it on board"

YESSSSSSS

YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

MY HOPES WEREN'T UNWARRANTED

LET'S GOOOOOOOOO

GIDEON ARMS INTACT BABYYYYYYYY

regina george twin proposes necro-cav marriage to judith and judith says no because no relationship here can be straightforward

"Why would I ever knowingly take Coronabeth Tridentarius’s, having desired her already for twelve long, stupid, fruitless years?!"

DRAMAAAAA

AND THAT'S IT!!!! FINALLY!!! This took me a lot longer than I wanted it too but I enjoyed the stories ♥ See you in the next one!!

[ssamlovr]

The Letters I Didn't Read. 윤진 x f!reader

୨९. NOW PLAYING; blue salvia

Yunjin has kept a secret for months: she's in love with her best friend, Yn. Unable to confess, she writes letters full of her feelings.

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ʚɞྀ pairing. non!idol yunjin x f!r genre. fluff?

authors note; short but ldc i love you yunjin ure my baby 🥹

Yunjin and Yn were inseparable, inside and outside of school. They spent recess together, studied side by side in the afternoons, and often hung out on weekends. But there was one thing Yunjin could never say out loud: she was in love with her best friend.

Her feelings hadn’t come all at once. At first, Yunjin simply noticed the little things: the way Yn’s laughter bubbled out effortlessly, how her hair caught the sunlight in golden streaks, or the way her voice could instantly calm any storm of doubt. But over time, those small observations became something deeper, something unshakable. She found herself yearning for Yn’s attention in ways that frightened her. Yn’s touch, even the casual brush of their arms, left Yunjin tingling for hours. And yet, she was paralyzed by fear—fear of losing what they had, fear of Yn’s reaction, and most of all, fear of being seen differently.

For months, Yunjin found a way to express her feelings without risking rejection. Every night, alone in her room, she wrote letters to Yn. These letters were filled with confessions, little details about how much she loved her bestfriend’s laugh or how her smile could brighten Yunjin’s entire day. Writing became a ritual. She would sit at her desk, the lamp casting a soft golden glow over the paper, and pour her heart out. The words came easily when she didn’t have to say them out loud. It was in these letters that Yunjin could be honest, vulnerable, and raw in ways she could never bring herself to be in person.

Yet, Yunjin never found the courage to hand them over directly. Instead, she slipped them into Yn’s locker when no one was around, her heart racing with equal parts hope and dread.

Yn, unaware of who the sender was, would take the letters but never read them. She always tucked them into a corner of her backpack, assuming they were harmless pranks or forgotten assignments from classmates. At first, she was mildly curious, wondering who might be leaving her these notes. But as the weeks went on and the letters kept appearing, she stopped paying them any attention. “Should I switch lockers? This is getting annoying,” she muttered to herself more than once, though she never actually did anything about it.

Meanwhile, Yunjin’s pile of unsaid feelings grew. Each letter felt like a small release, but also a burden, because she couldn’t know how her friend felt—or if she even read them.

One day, while the two were studying together after school, fate decided to intervene. Yn was rummaging through her backpack, looking for her math notebook, when one of the letters slipped out and landed on the floor. Yunjin froze as soon as she saw the familiar paper, her heart pounding so loudly she was sure Yn could hear it.

“What’s this?” Yn asked, picking up the envelope.

“I… I don’t know,” Yunjin replied too quickly, keeping her gaze firmly on her notebook.

For a moment, Yn simply stared at the envelope, her brow furrowed. Something about it felt different this time. Instead of tucking it back into her bag as she always did, she opened it and began to read.

At first, her eyes scanned the words with mild curiosity, but soon her expression shifted. The handwriting was neat, the tone heartfelt, and the words… familiar.

"I’ve always been captivated by how your voice fills every space with joy. I don’t know if you’ll ever see me the way I see you, but I write because I can’t keep this inside anymore…"

By the time she finished reading, Yn’s hands were trembling slightly. She looked up, her gaze locking onto Yunjin’s. The realization hit her all at once.

“Did you… did you write these?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Yunjin closed her eyes, her stomach twisting in knots. There was no point in denying it now. Slowly, she nodded.

Yn’s mind raced. How had she not noticed? The handwriting, the tender phrasing, the careful thought in every word—it was so Yunjin. And yet, the realization left her stunned. She had never considered this possibility.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Yn finally asked, her voice soft, almost pleading.

Yunjin swallowed hard, feeling the weight of her vulnerability. “Because I was scared. Scared of what you’d think, scared of ruining what we have. I didn’t want to lose you.”

Yn didn’t respond right away. She was processing too much at once. She opened her backpack and pulled out the bundle of letters she had been ignoring for weeks. For the first time, she realized how much effort, care, and emotion Yunjin had poured into them. It was overwhelming.

“I want to read them,” she said, her voice steady but warm.

Yunjin’s eyes widened. “You do?”

Yn nodded. “If you wrote all this for me, the least I can do is hear you out.”

They walked out to the courtyard and sat together under their favorite tree. The sun was beginning to set, painting the sky with soft pink and orange hues. Yn began reading the letters one by one, her voice breaking the silence between them. Yunjin sat beside her, nervously watching her expressions, unsure of what she would say when she finished.

As the girl read, something inside her shifted. Each letter revealed a new piece of Yunjin’s heart—her fears, her hopes, her unwavering admiration. And as she read, she began to notice her own feelings. The way her heart felt fuller when Yunjin was near. The way she always sought Yunjin’s approval without even realizing it. The way Yunjin’s laughter was the sound she most wanted to hear on a bad day.

When she finished the last letter, Yn turned to Yunjin with a soft smile, her eyes glistening.

“I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling right now,” she said honestly. “But I want to figure it out—with you.”

Yunjin’s breath hitched. She hadn’t dared to hope for this. “You mean it?”

Yn nodded, taking her hand. “You mean a lot to me, Yunjin. Maybe more than I realized.”

In that quiet moment, under the fading light of the day, they began to write a new story together—one that wasn’t confined to the pages of letters but lived in every shared glance, every whispered word, and every step they took side by side.

[obeymefanfiction]

Mammon: Break'n

Obey Me! Fanfiction (Aug 2020) See my Masterlist Featuring: Mammon x Female Reader Word Count: 1700 Warnings: NSFW, Drama & High Emotional Tension “Mammon, let go.” You snapped unsuccessfully trying to free your wrist from his grasp. “Not yet.” Mammon replied pulling you toward his room. His room was the last place you wanted to be right now. This was one of the few places where he felt comfortable acting ‘familiar’ with you. One of the places he didn’t pretend you were “just some human” Lucifer assigned him to protect. It wasn’t fair. Not after what just happened. “I mean it! Let go of my arm!” You started pulling back more earnestly and his grip slipped. For just a moment you felt only cool air against your skin. You felt both excited and disappointed at the same time as you brusquely changed direction. heading instead for your own room. This was what you wanted right? To get away from him? So, he couldn’t see that this time his words hurt you? So, why were your stupid eyes burning like you wanted to cry? Then two strong arms scooped you up and Mammon lifted you off your feet.

“Mammon!” You shouted, more surprised than scared. He didn’t reply. He only shifted his hold on you so he was carrying you bridal style in front of him. He quickly reached his door and kicked it closed behind him. “Put me d-down!” You yelped just as he dropped you onto the couch. You scrambled back to your feet, not quite ready to give up on escaping. However, when you headed back toward the door he blocked the way. “No! Don’t run! Just yell at me or whatever you have to do! But don’t walk out!” His expression was so conflicted. Not nearly as determined as his actions. The contrast was unsettling. “I’d rather you were mad at me right here.” “I don’t want to be right here!” You attempted to move past him but he always seemed to be right in your way. “Mammon!” You finally shouted at him in exasperation. He winced but only retreated enough to stand in front of the door, looking unwilling to move at any cost. “If you’re not goin’ ta keep yelling then I guess ya need ta listen.” He said looking more broken hearted than you felt. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, . Okay? I hurt ya! I’m an ass! And I’m sorry!” “If you’re sorry then let me leave!” He shook his head. “No, cause ya don’t believe me! Ya gotta believe me first! Even if ya still want ta kick my ass for what I said. Ya gotta believe I hate that I said it.” “Why should I believe you when you say it all the time?” You countered with a glare. “‘I’m just protectin’er, cause Lucifer said to! She’s just some human. She don’t matter ta me.’ and all that after you put your tongue down my throat this morning? That’s bullshit Mammon!” Despite your angry words the tears were escaping, hindering your retort with a sad sniffle at the end. “Awe shit! I’m—shit.” He pulled you into his arms giving you one of his best hugs ever. Why were his hugs the best? It really sucked that you liked them so much. His gentle hand was rubbing your back soothingly. “I’m such an ass . Why the hell did ya even let me near ya when I’m such an ass?” “You’re not an ass… you were just acting like one.” You sighed.

Why did his feelings always have to outweigh your anger? Just looking at that defeated expression was derailing how furious you'd just been. You knew Mammon’s emotional baggage could down an airliner, and possibly even swamp a cruise ship. If he was owning up to his actions with you, then you needed to be careful. As hurt as you were by what happened, you knew his denials about your relationship stemmed from a much deeper hurt than Mammon ever admitted. If you weren’t careful with the situation you would be driving a steam roller over the trust you’d built between the two of you. You’d promised yourself not to hurt him like that. “Great, now I feel like even more of an ass to have you defending me after I made you cry. Shit. Where’s Lucifer? I’m sure he’d be willing to kick my ass for you.” “No.” You sighed. “How about you just apologize for being stupid and tell me the truth. Are you embarrassed that I’m… with you?” “Hell no! It’s you that should be embarrassed. Its me doin’an’sayin’ stupid things. I mean your… just amazin’ _.” His words made you look at him. The pain you saw in those beautiful eyes felt as though you were the one being cut. Like you were the one being punched in the gut. When had his pain become what hurt you the most? Maybe when his happiness had become what made you the most happy? You honestly didn’t know. “I feel like I’m going to wake up tomorrow and you’ll have found someone better’n me. I hate that feeling. And it feels even worse to think they all might start laughin’ at me on top of watchin’ me lose you. It just makes me feel like Cerberus is about to run me down and eat me.” He sighed. “Mammon.” You sighed and wrapped your arms around him. “Guess what? That’s why I get scared when you say stuff like that.” “Whad’ya mean?” You knew you’d have to put this into words or he would understand. He’d know he messed up but he’d place it all on his own shoulders if you weren't careful. Honestly you knew your insecurities were as much to blame as his own. Yet, you hadn’t seen a way to articulate that before now. “Mammon… I’m afraid I’ll wake up tomorrow and what you just said won’t be a lie. That my being with you is the lie. One I’ve just been telling myself. If that happened… and I really was nothing to you? I don’t think I could stand it.” You shook your head. “You could never be nothin’ ta me.” He replied. “I’m still trying to convince myself of that. It might take a bit of time to do it.” You shrug, “I just care about you too much to be something unimportant to you. I feel apprehensive about that side of our relationship. Mostly because this is still really new.” His hands cupped your face and he brushed a tender kiss against your mouth. “It sounds like we both need some convincing. I’m sorry if what I said made it harder for you to believe it, but… you being with me? I’ve never been this happy before. So happy it makes me suspicious its all a dream.” “I’m glad we are dealing with the same problem then.” You smiled back at him. “I know in my mind how good you are, how kind… but what if I don’t really have any claim on you? My heart has belonged to “The Mammon” for a long time now. I can’t imagine convincing it otherwise.” “Then maybe I need to tell ya yer’ my favorite human more often? So yer mind n’heart finally agree that ya really are mine.” “I like that idea, and just in case you didn’t know it already? You’re my favorite too, Mammon.”

“Easy there, human. If you look too cute I’ll have to get into a fight with those lesser demons on the way to school today.” He sighed. “Can’t you tone it down a little?”

You stared at him where he sat for just a moment. Had he really just said what you thought you heard. Mammon’s expression made you have to admit he had. The mixture of shock and the fiery blush on his cheeks were more telling than seeing the words written in Mammon’s own hand. You couldn’t resist the impulse to run after him. Throwing your arms around him from the back with an enthusiasm that nearly knocked him over. To your surprise instead of censuring you for tryinig to topple you both onto the ground, he laughed. Your favorite smile turned your way and the light in his gorgeous blue eyes seemed brighter than you had ever seen it. “Come on,_. We’d better start walking to school if we want to avoid a lecture from Lucifer.” You followed him out the door. He didn’t hold your hand or anything but you felt closer to him than you had in a long time. The two of you were nearly to school when you noticed the small crowd of demons following along behind you. Some of the demons start calling to Mammon. “Hey Mammon. Dragging your human off to school again? You sure they allow pets?” One laughed. “If she were my pet she’d have bitten you by now.” Mammon replied. Raucous laughter followed that response but it didn’t stop the jeers. “So if she’s not a pet then what exactly is she a toy?” “You idiots must be blind to think that. Nah, she’s the most amazing person I know actually.” Mammon’s words startled you and you watched him carefully as he continued to stroll along the walkway as though he owned the realm. “Scum like you’d be lucky to even talk to her. Especially because she’s mine, and The Great Mammon isn’t so forgiving when lesser demons bother his favorite human.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders affectionately and you smiled up at him. You could swear that instead of walking to school that day you were actually floating.

[siriuslysmoking]

eeeeeee ok so i’ve been reading a lot of ur stuff and i was wondering if u could write more blaise stuff?? maybe smut if ur comfortable but really whatever is fine. ty!!

Tied Together

Summary: After Voldemort had won the war, everything felt uneasy, being forced into a marriage wasn't in the plan, but after a war, nothing goes according to it.

Pairing: Blaise Zabini x Reader

Word Count: 6.2k

Warning: Smut, breeding kink, pet names, forced marriage, name calling.], so many words, the summary sucks ASS, not edited cause I worked an 8 hr shift before I wrote this.

A/N: OFC BABES!! I spent all day trying to figure out what to write about! A classic trope with my own spin to it! This is a long one so buckle in.

Graduation was supposed to be exciting—a milestone filled with relief and hope. But instead, you sit stiffly at your assigned table in the Great Hall, your face carefully blank as the drone of Ministry officials announcing the newly mandated marriages fills the air. One by one, names are read aloud, paired off with cruel indifference.

You barely register the first half of the list, staring down at your clasped hands, the parchment crinkled beneath your fingertips. They go in alphabetical order, and as the names inch closer to your own, you feel your chest tighten. When they reach “X,” your name still hasn’t been called.

Then it happens.

“Blaise Zabini...” the official says, then finally it arrives, your name.

Your stomach drops.

Oh, fuck no.

Your head snaps up, unwilling to believe it, but there’s no denying the truth. Your eyes immediately find Blaise across the hall. He’s already looking at you, his sharp features unreadable save for the slight twitch in his lips—a subtle, disdainful reaction that speaks volumes.

Disgust. Of course.

After years of enduring his thinly veiled insults about your bloodline, his smirks whenever he edged you out for top marks, and the cold indifference he perfected whenever your paths crossed, this feels like the final humiliation. It could have been anyone else. Anyone. But fate—or, more likely, the twisted whims of the Ministry—had chosen Blaise Zabini.

You bite the inside of your cheek, determined not to let your emotions betray you. He, of course, looks as collected as ever, his face a mask of cool disinterest. But beneath it, you know he must be livid. No one in their right mind would want this, least of all him.

The thought offers little comfort as the reality of the situation settles over you. Graduation wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be your first step into freedom. Instead, it feels like the chains around you have only tightened.

The wedding was nothing like you’d imagined it would be.

Everything felt cold—the ancient stone walls of the ceremonial hall, the piercing stares of the pureblood guests seated behind you, and the delicate lace of your dress sticking uncomfortably to your damp skin. The enchanted candles floating above did nothing to dispel the oppressive atmosphere. Their soft glow felt harsh, illuminating every detail of this forced spectacle.

The officiant's droning voice blurred into the background as you stared straight ahead, refusing to meet Blaise Zabini’s gaze. He stood beside you, his posture perfect, his expression as unreadable as ever. If he was as horrified by this union as you were, he didn’t show it. His face was carved in cold indifference, as though this moment meant nothing to him.

You clenched your trembling hands together, the smooth lace gloves doing little to hide the anxiety coursing through you. The crowd’s eyes burned into your back, no doubt judging every move, every breath. Were they thrilled to see a half-blood like you bound to one of their own? Or were they disgusted by the pairing? You couldn’t tell, and you weren’t sure which possibility made you feel worse.

“Do you, Blaise Zabini, accept this bond as law dictates?” the officiant intoned, his voice sharp and unyielding.

There was a brief pause. You could feel Blaise shift slightly beside you.

“I do.” His voice was steady, emotionless.

The words felt like a knife, cutting away any hope you had that he might fight this, that he might object, that anyone might. But Blaise Zabini was no fool. He knew better than to challenge the Ministry.

“And do you," He spoke your name with no emotion, moving his eyes to you, "accept this bond as law dictates?”

Your throat tightened. The words felt foreign, like they belonged to someone else. The silence stretched, thick and suffocating, until you forced the response from your lips.

“I do.”

The officiant raised his wand, the tip glowing as he muttered the incantation that would seal your fates. You felt the magic take hold, wrapping around your wrist like an invisible shackle before fading into nothingness. It was done.

“And now,” the officiant said, a note of finality in his tone, “to seal the bond with a kiss.”

Your stomach lurched. You hadn’t forgotten this part, but you’d desperately hoped it would be skipped—maybe Blaise would refuse, or some exception would be made. But no, tradition demanded it.

Blaise turned to you, his expression unreadable, but there was something in his eyes—a flicker of discomfort, or perhaps resentment. He leaned down, his movements slow and precise, giving you no time to brace yourself.

The kiss was brief, a mere press of lips against yours, cold and devoid of anything resembling affection. It felt more like a command than a gesture of unity. You fought the urge to flinch, standing rigidly until he pulled away.

As you parted, your lips tingled—not from passion, but from the bitter taste of obligation. You didn’t look at him, focusing instead on the floor as the crowd offered polite, stifled applause.

Blaise offered you his arm, as tradition dictated. You hesitated, staring at it as though it were a venomous snake. But with the weight of the crowd’s gaze pressing down on you, you relented, placing your gloved hand lightly atop his. His arm was rigid, his touch devoid of warmth.

As you walked back down the aisle together, the reality of your situation began to sink in. This wasn’t a wedding—it was a sentence. A chain around your neck that tied you to someone who didn’t want you, just as much as you didn’t want him.

And yet, as you glanced up at Blaise’s perfectly composed face, you couldn’t shake the thought that, behind his mask of indifference, he might feel just as trapped as you did.

The ceremony ended in a blur of cold stares and stifled applause. You and Blaise were whisked away to the government-mandated home—a pristine, lifeless manor nestled in the countryside. The house was grand and silent, its dark wood floors creaking underfoot, the high ceilings echoing every sound. The Ministry had spared no expense, making sure it was a perfect symbol of your forced union. But inside, the house felt empty, lifeless, like a cage waiting to trap you both.

The silence between you grew, stretching on for weeks. Blaise rarely spoke, his evenings spent reading by the fire or writing letters, while you kept yourself busy, avoiding him as best as you could. Meals were quiet, punctuated only by the clinking of silverware, your eyes avoiding each other at all costs. It was easier that way—no need to pretend things were normal when they were anything but.

But then, Blaise started to notice something.

You’d begun slipping out after dinner, your footsteps quiet on the wooden floors. At first, he didn’t think much of it, chalking it up to your desire for space. But after several nights, he grew curious. The rules were clear: infidelity, whether real or merely suspected, could be disastrous for both of you. He couldn’t afford for that to happen.

One night, he decided to follow you.

He trailed quietly behind you as you made your way out into the darkened streets, your silhouette framed by the flickering light of nearby lanterns. He kept a careful distance, just enough to not alert you, but close enough to see your every move. You stopped outside a small, hidden entrance, casting a quiet unlocking charm. Blaise hid behind a nearby wall, watching as you entered the building.

Inside, you were with a group of Muggle-borns—children, huddled together in fear. He saw you hand them food, speaking to them in soft, urgent tones. His chest tightened as he realized the danger you were putting yourself in. This wasn’t just reckless; it was beyond dangerous. If anyone found out, it wouldn’t just be you who suffered. He clenched his fists, his mind racing with thoughts of what could happen if this was exposed.

But he didn’t intervene. Instead, he silently backed away, leaving the scene without a word.

The next morning, Blaise said nothing. It would be easier that way. But something lingered in the air between you both—a silent acknowledgment that there was more to this union than either of you had anticipated.

The evening had dragged on longer than you'd anticipated, and with each passing minute, the weight of the silence between you and Blaise seemed to grow heavier. He’d been quiet for the most part, which was unusual for him, but you could feel his presence like a shadow at the edge of the room. You couldn’t focus on the book in your lap any longer, so you closed it with a soft snap and glanced at Blaise, who was lounging on the armrest of a chair, one leg hanging casually over the side, his eyes glinting with that signature arrogance.

“You’ve been awfully quiet tonight,” you said, trying to break the oppressive silence.

Blaise didn't look at you at first, his gaze still lazily fixed on the flickering fire. “Just trying to enjoy the peace and quiet, Mrs. Zabini.” His voice dripped with sarcasm, and you could practically hear the mocking smile in his words.

You rolled your eyes, not bothering to dignify the title with a response. "You know, it’s not that hard to act like a human being once in a while."

Blaise’s head tilted just slightly, and you could tell he was assessing you. “Oh? You’re one to talk. You’ve spent more time hiding in this room than doing anything remotely… social.” He smirked at you, the usual edge in his voice.

“I don’t need your commentary, Blaise,” you shot back, crossing your arms tightly. “I’m just fine without it.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by your defensive tone. “Are you?” he asked, pushing himself off the armrest and taking a few steps toward you. “You don’t seem all that fine. Actually, you look more… miserable than usual.”

You stood up quickly, throwing the book on the nearby chair in frustration. "I’m perfectly fine, thanks for asking,” you bit out, voice sharp. “Not that I expect you to understand anything about personal space.”

He took another step forward, his eyes gleaming with that mix of amusement and challenge you were starting to despise. “Personal space?” He laughed, but it wasn’t a friendly sound—it was mocking, dismissive. “Are you really going to pretend like you’re not just avoiding me? You think I haven’t noticed?” He leaned in just a fraction, his face now inches from yours, his breath warm against your skin. “You’re hiding, and it’s pathetic.”

You pushed him away, more out of irritation than actual force, but he didn’t budge. “I’m not hiding. I’m just... trying to deal with everything without tearing my hair out.”

He leaned back slightly, his posture still relaxed, but his gaze never wavered. “You’re so dramatic. It’s not like you’re the only one stuck in this mess.”

The words hit harder than you expected. “Don’t pretend like you’re not enjoying this,” you said, your voice lower, eyes narrowing. “I know you, Blaise. You thrive on this power.”

Blaise chuckled darkly, his lips curling into a smirk. “What, you think I enjoy being shackled to you? Please.” He stepped back, just enough to give you some space, but the mocking look never left his face. “You’re the one who can’t handle the fact that you’re stuck here with me, and it’s funny to watch.”

Your eyes flashed with anger, and before you could stop yourself, you snapped, “Funny? You think I’m enjoying this too? It’s not a bloody game, Blaise. I have other things to do, but no, instead, I’m stuck here with you and your... smug face. Every damn day.”

Blaise’s expression darkened slightly, but he quickly masked it with another smirk. “Is that so? You don’t like being stuck with me? I guess that’s a shame. I was just beginning to think maybe we weren’t so different after all.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you muttered, turning away from him as you grabbed the book off the chair again, though you had no intention of reading it. You just needed something to hold on to, something to distract yourself from the tension in the room.

But Blaise wasn’t done yet. He followed you, close enough that you could feel his presence like a weight on your back. “You know, if you weren’t so hell-bent on hating me, we might actually get along,” he teased, his voice low, almost too calm. “But no, you’ve got this chip on your shoulder, don’t you? I can’t imagine why.”

You spun around, finally losing your patience. “Maybe I have a chip on my shoulder because you have been the biggest pain in my arse for the past several years. You think I’m just supposed to sit here and pretend like everything’s fine?”

Blaise smirked, his posture still languid as he leaned against the doorframe, eyes flicking lazily over you. “You’ve got a temper, don’t you? I like it.”

Your jaw clenched, and you resisted the urge to lash out at him physically. Instead, you just glared at him. “What do you want, Zabini?”

He raised both hands in mock surrender, though the smirk never left his lips. “Nothing at all. I’m just trying to figure you out, that’s all. You’re so... prickly, it’s almost charming.” He looked at you as if you were some kind of puzzle to solve, his gaze calculating but with an edge of amusement.

“Well, don’t get too comfortable. I’m not one of your little games, Blaise.”

For a moment, there was nothing but silence between you two, thick with the unspoken tension. Then, with one last glance, Blaise straightened and pushed off the doorframe, his lips still twitching with a smirk.

“Keep telling yourself that,” he said, turning to leave, but his words hung in the air, sharp and cutting. “You’ll get used to it, eventually.”

You stood there, fists clenched, watching him leave, knowing that every word he said stung a little more than you wanted to admit.

The ballroom was grand, the air thick with perfume and whispers, swirling with the clinking of glasses and the soft shuffle of shoes against polished floors. You stood at the edge, feeling every bit the outsider in this glittering sea of purebloods, all dressed in their finest, exchanging polite smiles and subtle glances.

And then there was Blaise Zabini.

He moved through the crowd like a shadow, effortlessly commanding attention. His dark suit seemed tailor-made for him, perfectly fitting, and yet somehow, he managed to look entirely unbothered by the extravagance of the event. He caught sight of you standing alone near the columns, and, after a moment’s hesitation, he sauntered over, a slight smirk on his lips.

“Enjoying yourself, love?” he asked, his voice low and laced with mockery. His dark eyes glinted, a subtle challenge in his gaze as he came to stand beside you.

You shot him a withering look. “Oh, absolutely,” you replied, your tone dripping with sarcasm. “I’ve always dreamed of this—trapped in a room full of people who wouldn’t spit on me if I were on fire.”

Blaise raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained by your response. He leaned closer, just enough for his breath to tickle your ear. “Careful, darling. Someone might think you’re not as happy to be here as you should be.”

You stiffened, your jaw tightening. You hated how he seemed to know exactly how to needle you. “And why would that be, Blaise? You think I’m thrilled to be married to you?”

His smirk widened. “I can’t imagine why not. I’m quite the catch.” He spun on his heel, eyes scanning the room as if seeking someone else’s attention. “But I suppose you’d prefer to be alone, wouldn’t you? No one to witness your charming temper or—”

"Why don’t you keep that smug mouth shut for once?" you snapped, your patience thinning. "You’ve been making my life miserable for years, and I’m just supposed to stand here and pretend like everything’s fine?"

Blaise’s lips quirked upward again, clearly enjoying the moment. “Oh, I’m not making you miserable. You’re doing that all on your own, darling.”

A tight laugh escaped you. “How generous of you.”

He shrugged, feigning innocence. “It’s true, you know. You’ve always been a bit of a walking disaster, haven’t you?”

“Right,” you said, cutting him off before he could continue. “And I suppose I should thank you for pointing that out. Because nothing says ‘I love you’ quite like constant criticism.”

Blaise glanced down at his watch, as if toying with the idea of leaving. "Perhaps you should take a walk with me, then. Just to show me how 'miserable' you are," he said, his voice suddenly softer, but the teasing edge never quite leaving it.

You narrowed your eyes, unsure of his intention. "I’m sure I’d rather chew glass, but thank you for the offer."

He chuckled, clearly unbothered by your sarcasm. “You know, it’s almost cute how you think you have any control in this marriage."

“Control?” you scoffed. “You think I have control over this—this farce?” You looked around the room, where the pureblood elite swirled around you, pretending to be so important, so dignified. You leaned in slightly, keeping your voice low. “You’re just as stuck here as I am. So don’t act like you’re above me.”

Blaise studied you for a moment, his dark eyes piercing. “Oh, I’m not above you. But I know one thing,” he said, his voice a little quieter now. “You’re just as trapped as I am, and no amount of pretending will change that.”

You held his gaze, anger and something else bubbling just beneath the surface. “You’re right,” you muttered, swallowing hard. “But at least I’m not pretending to enjoy it.”

Blaise smirked again, a wicked gleam in his eye. “Oh, I’m enjoying it just fine.”

Before you could snap back, the music shifted, signaling a new dance. Blaise extended his hand to you, his fingers elegantly poised, his expression unreadable.

"Shall we?" he asked, his voice low and purposeful.

You hesitated for a moment, glancing around the ballroom. The gaze of everyone in the room felt oppressive, their judgment hovering just over your shoulder. Finally, you sighed, taking his hand begrudgingly.

The moment your hand touched his, you felt the shift in the air. It wasn’t the soft, graceful kind of dance you were used to; no, this was more like a carefully calculated battle. He led you into the center of the floor, his steps sure and steady, as you struggled to keep up with the quick pace he set.

“Not so good at this, are you?” Blaise teased, his lips curling into a smile that bordered on cruel. “I thought you were supposed to be the top student.”

You gritted your teeth, forcing yourself to focus on the steps, trying to ignore the way his hand on your waist felt far too possessive. “I don’t see you dancing with anyone else, Zabini. So, what’s your excuse?”

“Oh, I have many,” he replied with a smirk, twirling you just a little too sharply, making you stumble for a moment before you regained your balance. “I think it’s just funny how you always act like you’re in control.”

“I am in control,” you snapped, meeting his gaze with as much venom as you could muster.

“Prove it,” he murmured, pulling you a little closer, his hand slipping just a little too low on your back. The move was calculated, deliberate, meant to make you uncomfortable. You couldn’t deny the rush of irritation that swirled through you, and the way your heart sped up—not from desire, but from the sheer frustration of being so close to him.

The music swirled around you, the other couples gliding effortlessly, while you and Blaise stumbled through every step, each move filled with tension and hostility.

“You know,” Blaise said with that infuriating smirk, “if you spent as much time trying to enjoy yourself as you do trying to be miserable, this wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad,” you retorted, voice tight, “if you weren’t so insufferable.”

He leaned in closer, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, “You’ll get used to me. You’re already halfway there, I can tell.”

You shivered, unwilling to admit he might be right. The dance continued—awkward, tense, filled with barely contained animosity, but somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew he was right.

As much as you hated it, you and Blaise were in this together. And no amount of mean teasing or cold shoulders would change that.

The dinner at the Zabini estate had begun like any other—polished silver gleaming under the soft light, crystal glasses catching the flicker of candle flames. You sat at the long, elegantly set table, Blaise beside you, his mother across, smiling as if she had rehearsed this moment in her mind for weeks. There was a quiet anticipation in the air, and you could feel it, even if nothing had been said yet.

Blaise’s mother—always so poised and calculating—wasn't one for pleasantries when it came to matters that truly mattered. She had a way of making the most innocuous conversations feel like high-stakes negotiations. Tonight, though, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, that this dinner was meant for more than just food and idle chatter.

Finally, after a few rounds of safe topics—politics, the harvest, and the state of the family business—she cleared her throat, setting her glass down carefully.

“I trust you both are well,” she began, her tone a bit too casual, almost as if testing the waters. “But there’s something we must discuss. It’s time we talk about the future, about the next generation.”

You exchanged a quick glance with Blaise, but his expression remained unreadable, as always. His mother had been hinting at this conversation for months, and you had a sinking feeling you knew where it was heading.

Her voice softened as she continued, a subtle but deliberate note of authority in her words. “As you know, the Zabini family is quite… traditional in some ways. One of those traditions, which we hold in the highest regard, is the continuation of our bloodline.”

You felt the hairs on the back of your neck rise. You could feel Blaise stiffen beside you, and the air in the room shifted, thick with the weight of what she was about to say.

“By law,” she continued, her eyes locking onto yours, “every couple of noble standing is required to have at least one child. It is not simply a preference. It’s a requirement.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You had been prepared for this, but the weight of her words hit you harder than you expected.

Blaise’s mother leaned back in her chair, watching you closely. “It’s the law of the land now. For families of status, it is a non-negotiable expectation. The bloodline must be preserved. It is your duty as a couple, as future heads of your respective houses, to ensure the continuation of that legacy.”

You could feel the heat rise in your cheeks. The idea that you—both of you—were being forced into such a decision was infuriating, and yet, you knew it was coming. This wasn’t just a suggestion. This was an ultimatum.

“I’m not having a child,” you said, your voice cool but steady, every word sharp with defiance. You looked at Blaise for support, but his expression remained unreadable. You could feel the tension building between you and his mother, but you refused to look away.

His mother’s smile didn’t falter. If anything, it seemed to tighten, like a mask slipping into something more calculated.

“You misunderstand,” she said, her voice smooth but sharp. “This is not a choice, darling. The law is quite clear. You will have one child. You are obligated to, for the good of both families.”

Blaise shifted uncomfortably beside you, his jaw tightening, but he didn’t speak. His mother was an immovable force, and he was used to navigating these conversations. You, however, had never been good at swallowing injustice.

“You can’t force us to have a child,” you said firmly, trying to keep your voice steady. “This world is a prison. We can’t bring a life into it, not when it’s nothing but a chain around its neck. Not when—” you broke off, your voice rising in frustration. “This is insane.”

His mother’s smile remained, but the edge in her eyes darkened. “The law is the law,” she said, her tone final. “It is non-negotiable. And let’s be clear: failure to comply with the law has consequences. I’m sure you understand the weight of those consequences, dear.”

You swallowed hard, your mind racing. The truth was clear. Refusing to comply with the law meant more than just a personal choice—it meant rebellion. It meant a loss of status, a severing of ties with everything you had ever known. The weight of it pressed down on your chest, but your resolve didn’t waver.

“I’m not going to be forced into this,” you replied, trying to ignore the heavy thrum of your pulse in your ears. “I won’t be part of a system that treats life like a commodity.”

Her gaze never wavered, cold and calculating. “You may think you have a choice now,” she said quietly, her words like ice, “but soon you’ll realize there is no escaping this. Not for you. Not for Blaise.”

You turned to him, finally meeting his eyes, searching for some sign of agreement, some flicker of support. But he only looked tired, resigned. He knew the stakes, perhaps better than anyone.

“You don’t have to agree with it,” his mother continued, her smile returning, sharp as ever. “But you will comply. It’s for the family, for the legacy. For the future.”

The silence stretched for a long moment before Blaise spoke, his voice low. “We’ll do what we have to.”

But even as he said it, the bitterness hung in the air, heavy with the understanding that, in the end, there was no real choice. There was no escape. And as much as you wanted to fight it, you knew it wasn’t a battle you could win.

The law was clear. You would have to have a child. There was no way around it.

And the thought of it made your stomach churn.

When you both arrive at the house it feels cold, even with the fire lit it still doesn't feel like a home. You go to head to your seperate room, but you stop in the middle of the staircase. "We'll do what we have to do?"

You turn to look at him as he takes his coat off, "What did you want me to say?"

"I didn't want to speak for me." You huff, walking back down the stairs meeting him in the middle of the foyer.

"You are my wife, I am your husband, we speak for each other." He shakes his head, it feels almost demeaning.

"You do not speak for me."

"So what you want to get locked up? Them to make us have a child?"

"I'm not scared of them."

"You should be." He speaks softly, "I am. You don't know what they're capable of."

"I know! You think I don't! They killed my friends, forced me into marrying you under the threat of death!" You raise your voice.

"That's just the fucking start." He rubs his hands on the back of his neck. "Listen, I may not like you as much as I should with you being my wife and all, but that doesn't mean I want you to die."

"God, that's the sweetest thing someone has ever said to me." You roll your eyes. You turn to move back up the stairs.

"Where are you going? We're not done with this conversation." He follows you up the stairs.

"What you want, getting it over with." You enter your room as he still follows you. You start unzipping your dress, he makes a noise and you see him turn around.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He looks towards the door.

"You're gonna get me pregnant, so we don't die or whatever."

"Not like this." He sighs, holding his head in his hands.

"Jeez, Zabini, never seen a girl naked before?"

He just lets out a laugh, shaking his head. "Turn around." He shakes his head. You take a step towards him, your hands on his shoulders, "Blaise, look at me."

He reluctantly turns around, when he faces you he tries to keep his eyes on your face but he can't help but let his gaze trace your frame. You stand there only in your underwear, totally vulnerable in front of him. "This is doing what he have to do, Blaise."

You move your hand to his jaw, to guide his eyes back to your own. "This can't be why we do it."

"Then think of something else, someone else, it doesn't matter." You shrug, even through the thought of him thinking of someone else is gut wrenching to you.

"I can't." His plead sounds so desperate, so light. Suddenly you think you've crossed a line, something you can never come back from. You move back but his hands shoot back to you, holding your waist, pushing your body against his. "I can't think of anyone but the person I really want."

"Wha-" You go to speak, but he pulls you in for a bruising kiss.

He lifts you up in his arms, turning around so he can hold you up against the door. You start to unbutton his shirt as he moves his thumb back and forth on the back of your thighs. He turns around and crawls on his knees up the bed with you still in his arms, he sets you down softly, and crawls down your body with his lips.

"Fuck, you're beautiful." He murmurs into your skin, you groan and push your body into his lips. "Get it over with, my fucking ass. Imma take my time with you."

"Try not to take too long?"

"Oh? Are you feeling needy today?"

"Use your mouth for something better than talking." You grab the back of his neck and pull his back up to your lips. He laughs into you are he slowly- too slowly, taking off his clothes. "Blaise, I swear if you don't do something I will kick you out of my room."

He chuckles again and releases his cock out of the confines of his pants, "Already ready for me, Darlin? Such a good girl."

You moan into his mouth as you feel the tip of his cock toy with your entrance. You buck your hips in the air, making it slip into you even more, "You greedy lil' thing, huh?"

"Zabini." You growl, looking at him with heavy eyes.

"Yes?" He smirks up at you.

"Shut your mouth." You grab his jaw tightly.

"As you wish, princess."

He enters you with a force and a groan, you just lay there and feel every single inch, every single vein and curve. He sits inside of you without moving, letting you settle, but you decide that he's taking too long and you flip yourself over so you're sitting on top of him.

Blaise throws his head back at the site of you, you place your hands on his stomach as he places his on your hips, guiding you back and forth in a rocking motion. He leans up and puts his chest up to your front as he starts to whisper encouraging words in your ear, feeling you up and down, grabbing your ass, helping you move.

"Let go f'me, sweetheart." He sounds drunk on you, as you can. feel him letting go. "Gonna put a baby in you."

"Fuck, do it." You rest your head on his shoulder, kissing his neck. You feel his release inside of you and you finally let yourself go as well.

You both fall to your backs as Blaise uses his shirt to clean you up. Once he settles back into bed he finally speaks, "Wanna talk about it?"

"Tomorrow, I'm tired." Your falling asleep on his chest and he's completely content with that in this moment.

When Blaise wakes up he moves his arm to feel your body but all he feels a cold sheet next to him. He gets up and puts on his underwear to walk down to the kitchen, figuring you'd be there. Only to see dishes in the sink and an empty house. He knocks on the bathroom door, looking for you.

He turns the entire house upside down, looking for you, but with no luck he doesn't find you anywhere. He decides that maybe you went somewhere and forgot to leave him a note. He makes breakfast for himself, but there's a bad feeling in his gut, but he knows it's probably all in his head.

But when the clock turns to noon, then to three... when the sun goes down is when Blaise finally lets himself worry, he writes letters to everyone he knows. His last resort is those Muggles in town, when no one knows where you are he heads to the abandoned house. He doesn't know the incantation so he just desperately knocks, when he receives no answer, he heads pathetically back home.

On his walk back home he notices a tray of food on the ground. Then the bad feeling finally lands, something is wrong, something is so wrong.

When he arrives back home after looking all over the streets and alleys he finally walks inside to see a brown owl set on a perch.

He knows the code name, Draco and him have been using it for months, passing information back and forth from the ministry, keeping each other in the know.

He grab anything, he drops the letter and runs to the floo network.

He arrives at the Ministry after a sickening trip. He walks fast, but not too fast to be suspicious.

Blaise works his way to the elevator only to find a familiar face when he walks in. Rodolphus Lestrange sends him a sneer. Ever since the Zabini’s decided to be a neutral party during the war they don’t have too many friendly faces in the ministry.

“What brings you here, Zabini.” Rodolphus sounds accusing.

He doesn’t speak too quickly, not wanting to raise suspicion. “"I’m looking into some old family records in the Department of Magical Transportation. Family business, you understand, I’m sure."

“I do.” The rest of the ride is silent, just sneaky glances from Rodolphus to Blaise, he can tell the man doesn’t believe him, but at this moment he doesn’t care.

Once it lands on Rodolphus’ stop and the man slowly exits, Blaise can finally let out a breath.

He tries to calm his breathing as he walks out on level 2, Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

Blasie makes his way down a long, cold, dark hallway, trying to walk like he belongs here, which he absolutely does not. After turning a corner he sees one of the only friendly faces here.

"I can't go in with you." Blaise understands why Draco can't help him, he's already doing too much, he's jeopardizing so much just by letting him in. Blaise nods, giving him a look of gratitude. "78."

After opening the door, Draco walks the opposite direction of the door.

Blaise feels like he's walking for years, one number after another.

75...

76...

77...

78, he finally sees the number he's looking for. He tries to hear through the door, but he knows it would be no use. He just opens the door and what his eyes spot is something he couldn't even imagine. You are shackled from the ceiling, almost unconscious, he would think you were dead if he didn't here your laboured breathing.

His hands start to shake as he approaches you, he speaks your name softly, You try to lift your head, trying to look at him, but you can't smother the energy to do so. "I'm getting you out of here."

But he didn't think of a plan, he has no idea how he's going to do that

He uses the only spell he can think of to get the shackles off of you wrists, then he grabs you, wrapping your body around him. When he walks you out the door he hears echoing footsteps coming from behind him.

Instead of going the way he came he moves the other way, away from the entrance. He walks faster and faster as the footsteps get closer. He finds an office and hurriedly hides in there. God, luck is on his side today. There's a floo network in the office, he hurriedly floos back to your house, but he knows neither of you are safe there.

When he gets back to your house, he sees someone he hasn't seen in years sitting on his couch. Hermione Granger meets his eyes, "Granger, wha-"

"Draco sent me, I have a safe house for you." She stands and walks over to you both.

"I don't understand." Blaise shakes his head, looking to you.

"It's time you finally meet The Resistance."

-

-

Reblogs and Likes are appreciated

[gumjrop]

In August, Pennsylvania announced that it would join several countries and 11 other states in the U.S. to allow residents to change their legal gender marker to X, instead of choosing between M and F. Today, more than 7,000 people in the U.S. alone currently have gender X markers on official identification, though not all states allow the marker on all legal forms.

As groups of intersex, trans, and non-binary people continue the fight for an official third gender option in all states and regions, the experiences of those who have been able to change their gender markers to X differ. While some say the change has been massively affirming, others point out that discrepancy between different forms can complicate things. And still others have been surprised by how little they’ve had to think about it since—which may just be the best part.

To better understand what it’s like to actually live with an X gender marker, we asked seven non-binary people who’ve made the change what it’s been like for them.

Jack(ie) Colquitt, 22

[When I changed my gender marker], I was finally able to openly proclaim how I see myself and how I want the world to see me, and this marked the beginning of those perspectives being synonymous. I felt validated in such a specific and monumental way, and [it] made me feel free!

It was less difficult [to change] than liberating, but the slight difficulty did come with worrying how people would react. The world is still getting used to the singular “they” and to gender-neutral identities. But that’s what made it more-so liberating, being able to be a part of a nationwide spotlight being shone on GNC people was euphoric! It’s a small victory; it was beneficial in that it simply made me feel seen, and that’s all that really mattered.

Sometimes [people understand what it means], and sometimes they don’t. It depends on the people, and it’s sometimes easy and sometimes tedious to explain. But it is always worth the effort. Whoever is out there reading this and thinking about whether or not they should make this decision: if you do it for you, and no one else, it will be one of the best decisions you can make.

AC Dumlao, 28

I changed my NYC birth certificate gender marker to X in February 2019. It affirms my identity as non-binary. It was not difficult to change. The self-attestation form is very straightforward and does not require a doctor/therapist note. I simply affirmed that I am non-binary and signed my name to it, and had a notary sign off on it. I do want to note that there is a financial barrier as well as the barrier of finding a notary that one feels comfortable with. I rarely show my birth certificate, so the change was more personal to affirm myself and because it’s something I could do. I think it will be more significant when New York State Drivers Licenses allow the X gender marker.

Chanlar Rose, 22

I identify as non-binary. I actually changed my gender marker very recently, within the past few weeks. This change was something that I had thought about for awhile. In some ways, I felt that it would give me more validation and autonomy when I navigate through spaces in my city. I’ve found that some people are really confused by it, and often in conversations regarding gender markers, I find that people bring up wanting to know what I, or others that identify like I do, were assigned at birth. That can be pretty frustrating and you can tell that some people don’t understand how or why that could be intrusive (because essentially they just wanna know what’s in your pants). Most of the time people just act like I’m a woman anyway, unless I’m in spaces where people are more inclusive. I’m really happy that I changed my gender marker, because it was mostly about me being authentic and honest with myself and the world.

Aidan Hill, 26

I began the process on January 1, 2018. It’s important to me to live authentically with the rights and opportunities provided to everyone under this constitution. Since 2017, coming out as trans/non-binary was a pinnacle of my life, leading me to run for Berkeley City Council for the November 2018 election, desiring to become the U.S.’s first legally non-binary public office holder, pushing for the gender marker X through the legal system. Since then, I have recognized the much-needed importance and haste for a third gender marker at the federal level, noting the president’s rapid anti-trans and anti-womxn legislation, as well as protecting trans women from being sent to men’s jails.

It has meant the world to me. I feel like the state sees my human complexity rather than just a barcode…like I can be seen as a third gender rather than asked to fill a binary because of what is in my pants. I’ve suffered much less overt discrimination since the gender marker X has made it into the national press.

I live in a progressive city, Berkeley, [California], so gender is normally seen as a social construct rather than being fixed or held indefinitely. Likewise, gender-neutral legislation is not as controversial here as in many other states and cities.

Most importantly, the gender marker X saves lives.

Charlie Arrowood, 32

I was born in NYC but reside in New York state, so I’ve only been able to change my birth certificate. New York City issues its own birth certificates separate from the state and the state doesn’t allow for X gender markers on any state-issued documents yet (a group of advocates is working on that). My birth certificate was one of the last documents I changed because—and I think a lot of trans people feel this way—it felt like the most “official” record. I was reluctant to change it until an X was available, because I didn’t want a birth record that told the world I was male. If I couldn’t have an X on my birth certificate, I was more comfortable having an F than an M, even if that was not the case for a more frequently-used document like a driver’s license. (When I had an F on my driver’s license, I was often hassled, so I changed it to an M for convenience, though I will change it to an X as soon as that becomes available.) I have a very binary, gender-conforming appearance; it was important to me to retain some vestige or documentary proof that I was not cisgender, but it was more important to me to have an accurate document that showed that I was not male or female. I didn’t want the world making assumptions about me based on my gender marker, whether physical, social, or otherwise. The privacy arguments around binary trans people’s documents apply to non-binary people as well—I want to change my documents to maintain privacy about my sex-assigned-at-birth and what my body may or may not look like.

Because I don’t use my birth certificate often, it hasn’t had a big everyday impact on my life, but it does make me more comfortable when I do have to pull my birth certificate out for some reason. I am especially looking forward to updating my NYS driver’s license when I can. Even though it says M, and that helps me avoid confrontation, the same way being misgendered verbally makes me cringe, I cringe every time I have to show an incorrect ID to someone because it is conveying incorrect information about me. The differing state and city policies also mean none of my documents match, so any time I need to show mismatched documents, there is a risk that one or the other will not be accepted.

Nobody I’ve shown my birth certificate to has asked any questions, but I think that’s because my gender marker hasn’t been relevant under the circumstances. I suspect there might be some questions if I used it to, say, obtain a driver’s license for the first time, and I suspect once I change my license, which I use frequently, it may come up more.

Jay Wu, 25

[Changing my gender marker] meant I wasn’t walking around with an inaccurate ID anymore, which was a relief, and it also felt validating to know that a government agency was aware of non-binary gender identities. It was very similar to the regular process of getting a new driver’s license. I just had to fill out a straightforward additional form.

Having an “X” gender marker has helped me realize that most people don’t look at the gender marker when they’re checking ID. For the first couple of months, I expected to get questions from people checking my ID, but I haven’t gotten any. I went through airport security dozens of times last year and didn’t have the gender marker questioned once. So I’m not sure whether people understand what it means. (My friends were, of course, very excited when I showed them my changed ID soon after I got it!)

Noah, 22

My pronouns are they/them in English. Since my native language doesn’t have an equivalent to singular-they, I use the pronoun “N” or “en” in German. I changed my gender marker this August, but not to X, exactly, because the German third gender marker is called “divers” (engl. diverse). So that’s what my birth certificate says now. Only the gender marker on my passport will be X, due to international air travel regulations.

Having my gender legally recognized is something that I wanted ever since it became clear that there would be a positive third gender option available—as opposed to just removing the gender marker. The other big reason is that I was able to change my name along with it, without having to pay more than a small fee. It wasn’t possible to have a positive third gender marker in official documents up to the beginning of 2019. The law is geared towards intersex folks, but the phrasing is vague enough to allow non-intersex folks to change their gender markers, too. I had to obtain a doctor’s letter stating that I have a “Variante der Geschlechtsentwicklung” (variant of sex development). The law has been heavily criticized by the German trans and intersex community for the pathologizing nature of requiring people to provide a doctor’s letter. It took me a while to find a doctor willing to write that letter, but after that, I had a very positive experience. The clerk at the registry office almost changed my marker to male, though! I think people are still not that used to the idea of there being more than two genders, even though the legal recognition is here now.

I’ve benefited greatly from being able to change my name everywhere, but many institutions haven’t adjusted their systems yet. My bank and phone provider address me as “Mr��� now, because they haven’t incorporated non-binary options.

The primary ID used in Germany doesn’t include gender markers. They’re only on passports and birth certificates. The only reaction I’ve gotten so far was from the lady who ordered my new ID and driver’s license for me. She called the gender marker “the transsexual gender,” which I found odd. German media coverage of the new gender marker has almost exclusively mentioned intersex people, so I would have assumed that to be what people first think of when they see it.

Ettachfini, Leila. “7 Non-Binary People on What It’s like to Have an ‘X’ Gender Marker.” VICE, 4 Sept. 2019, https://www.vice.com/en/article/what-its-like-to-have-gender-marker-x-non-binary/.

[sarastuss-a]

𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐖𝐍 ;   ————  SHE IS THE NEW SUN.     a hero reborn ( a lost soul ) 𝙱𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝙱𝚈 𝙷𝚈𝙳𝙰𝙴𝙻𝚈𝙽, destined to become the hero of the worlds.  an   independent,   selective writing blog for my  𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 &. 𝐀𝐙𝐄𝐌,   named SARASTUS. based the final fantasy xiv - game.   ;      brought   to  you  by   deax.     ( she / her, 24 )

[swiftzeldas]

Hey, I don't appreciate being ditched like someone's bad date.

alex krycek + the x-files (season 2)

[ra-vio]

I miss nier. I have to watch the automata anime

[notmoreflippingelves]

So in the middle of my rewatch, I suddenly got really distracted by Francisco's black-with-gold-accents "formal" court attire, specifically in regards to the leaf accents on the sleeves. And I could help but think of the *other* black-with-gold-leaf accents look that we see on a Flores family member--Esteban's in "Elena and the Secret of Avalor." Although the designs between the two suits are distinctly different, there is enough of a similarity to make me want to think about them as a set and how the differences actually reflect the differences in the characters/their roles as well.

Although the silhouettes are similar overall, I would go far as to say that Francisco's look creates more of the classic "storybook prince" vibe than his grandson's. His costume is ornate and grand without seeming ostentatious. Think of how Prince Charming is costumed in pretty much any Cinderella adaptation. He must look striking and appropriately heroic--but specifically in a way that enhances our heroine without overshadowing her. And in nearly every adaptation, Prince Charming is more than okay with this, and the same is true of Francisco. He is at some level aware that he is on a show called "Elena of Avalor"--not "Francisco Flores of Avalor" and has no desire to pull the spotlight away from where it rightfully must be. In fact, he is far prouder to be the grandfather of Elena (and of Esteban and Isabel as well) than he would hypothetically be as the protagonist of his own story.

(Esteban meanwhile exudes "main character energy" and I mean that in both the complimentary and derogatory sense. In his mind, he is on a show titled "Chancellor Esteban of Avalor and His 41-Year-Old Guilt Complex That Not Even Tres Leches Cake Can Heal." But like if I had four decades of trauma to process and no one else seemed to notice, I would probably feel uncomfortable when we are not about me as well. And fittingly, his black-and-gold outfit is much more attention-grabbing than Francisco's, but much more on that later).

Two big parts of what leads to the "fairy tale hero" look in Francisco's outfit (and also to his "default" blue version) are: 1) the two medals pinned to his chest and 2) the epaulettes at the shoulder (I believe this is still the correct term even if they lack the tassels we normally associate w/the term, but like fashion historians can feel free to correct me).

Either epaulettes or medals of honor --or both-- are often seen on characters of his type. (Pick any Disney prince and you have a 50% chance of seeing one of these. Heck, King Roland's main outfit in SoA has both as well). A large part of what leads us to associate these particular sartorial touches as "hero-coded" are their association as part of typical military dress uniforms throughout history. (And yes, I recognize the problematic nature of such a trope, but just bear with me and accept it for now).

By including these as part of Francisco's costume (and its original blue equivalent), the animators are implying that he has a long, proud of history of serving his country and that at least some of this service came as a soldier and/or commander on the battlefield. And that he won honor--military and practical alike--in doing so.

Esteban's ensemble, obviously lacks the military touches (the epaulettes and medals) of his grandfather's. Because for all that he too served Avalor for decades, his service was of the bureaucratic rather than the military variety. (Shuriki obviously won't let Esteban wear a sword with his uniform--even he wanted to. Hardly surprising considering the whole "I killed your aunt and uncle. Doesn't that make you want to go apeshit?" thing they've got going.) But I digress.

The arms (esp the shoulders) and trousers of Esteban's ensemble are also much more form-fitted than Francisco's,as befitting a younger, more athletic man who wants to better show off his physique. (The real "secret of Avalor" is how Esteban singlehandedly managed a country for 41 years and somehow did so without skipping "Leg Day"--am I right, folks?")

Compared to Francisco's much plainer jacket, the design of Esteban's coat is also more ornate (the leaf accents are larger and more detailed) and colorful with the red collar, cuffs, and lining. This makes sense given that Esteban is established as much vainer and more flamboyant than his grandfather and that he has as mentioned, a much stronger need to grab attention.

However, the elaborateness of Esteban's jacket makes even more sense we consider it in the context of his role in Shuriki's court. He is a skilled diplomat, yes, and a capable administrator. But like every courtier, his primary function is to be ornamental first and everything else second. His looks, his charm, his attentions are expected to always be in service to the Queen first and foremost--not even in service to his duty or his country but specifically to the Queen herself. Certainly not (!) in service to his own will. (And damn, that must sting extra hard for someone who has only ever wanted to be seen and listened to and valued for himself.)

As such, Esteban is treated as an extension of the Queen--yet another pretty-if-powerful tool in her Almighty hands and fundamentally little different from her pretty crystal wand.

And yet, we see little tiny little hints in Esteban's SoA costume that he remains more than just Shuriki's shiny little Avaloran ornament. Let's go back to the red accents--shall we? Obviously, the show as a whole establishes red as Esteban's "signature color"--an honor he shares with Elena (and Mateo..but like he's less relevant tbh). Moreover, red, along with yellow/gold (and blue but again less relevant here), is one of the official colors of Avalor. Indeed the jaquins on the royal flag are red against a gold backdrop. So we can see an subtle wardrobe-related foreshadowing of where Esteban's loyalties truly lie and of the decision that he will make at the end of the episode.

And finally, as the artists among you will attest, red's complementary opposite on the color wheel is green. As in Shuriki's signature color, and this is reflected in nearly everything about her--from her eyes and eyeshadow to her dress and earrings to her green magical smoke, to her Emerald City-core dressing room to the teal background on her little silhouetted flag redesign. And complementary colors are often paired together so that the unique, striking shade of each is shown off to its full potential--and such is the case here. (Often, the effect is even achieved by using the "opposite" color as a key part of adding "shading" to the object).

A string of red lights wrapped around a Christmas tree may be overshadowed at first by the massive green boughs that it is entangled around. But nevertheless, it is because of the contrasting green that we are fully able to grasp just how bright and red those lights are able to glisten in the light. And so it is with Esteban's red collar shining forth like a beacon through Shuriki's haze of green smoke.

But when it comes down to it, red is still green's perfect, natural opposite. Red is a primary color, a true chromatic original unlike the artificially-created secondary shade of green. Moreover, red is Avalor, red is Esteban. The little dab of invading, interloping Shuriki green that has been added to the red paint only serves to heighten its fiery, crimson hue all the more.

[eddis-not-eeddis]

The truly annoying thing about college is that I'm kind of expected to be a top performer because I actually buckle down and do the work. I don't even do it that well, I just do it, and so I get decent grades (not phenomenal, but good) and I'm considered a good student. There are other kids who are waaaaaaaay smarter than I am. When it comes to raw intelligence they have me beat all hollow--they instantly pick up on topics I have to grapple with for days or weeks of careful study. They will easily answer a question that takes me four or five minutes of puzzling over to solve. But they're flunking out because they refuse to study. They're failing classes because they won't submit work. I'm only considered a good student because I muddle through it and actually submit assignments. Imagine how much better they could be if they actually studied for their exams or didn't wait to work on their projects until the day they were supposed to be submitted.

[piracytheorist]

someone: how angsty do you want your identity reveal scenario to be?

me: so what if right after Anya's powers are revealed Twilight asks her why she tricked him into adopting her, if she was put into it by someone else in order to expose him, and Anya tries to tell him she wanted to help and he asks why would you want to help me and she's like "because you want a peaceful world where children don't cry" and he nearly has a flashback triggered by that and she runs and hugs his legs saying she wants to help and be good and Twilight just. Pushes her away. Gently and without physically hurting her but emotionally it's a massacre. And he sees her devastated face because of his rejection and realizes he has now caused her the pain he never wanted to see on another child's face, and he thanks whatever lucky stars he doesn't deserve that Yor is there because he cannot process anything else and just leaves out the door, leaving Anya to bawl in Yor's arms :)

[doubleedgemode]

I wanted to go on a drawing spree yesterday, but I could only muster these two before dozing off.

First one, even if I'm not that sure about how I drew her face shape in this angle (and most importantly I forgot her neck and torso bandages OOPS) I do really like how most of the drawing came out. And at least it isn't a bland bust this time, though I'm pretty sure I've already drawn a pose like this before. (Oh no the next drawing is a 3/4 bust again..)

Second, yesterday I saw an artist draw some of the coolest redesigns ever for a different media piece, and thought about the many awesome gg redesigns I often see so I wanted to give A.B.A a spin... Except I was out of ideas so most of this drawing is her regular design haha. I got too tired to even try to attempt to draw the rest of the body and half-assed the key but I like the vibes and pose (even if I.. think I made her neck a bit too long? Old habits die hard... Necks are my enemies when drawing!)

I like the idea of her having a key take on the classic frankenstein bolts (though wait, her head key is referred to as a screw. Would this also be a screw or key shaped bolts??-)