#i have an unhealthy obsession wth him

[trishilo]

JD :]

[akai-anna]

me, every time shinichi talks, my heart swelling with emotion: I LOVE HIM😭❤️💕💗

[necrotic-nephilim]

Okay, so MAYBE LATER DANCE by Jhariah for DickTim

https://youtu.be/9DVhOdqUMSo?si=YnxNQ-75HtibRRMv

Specifically the chorus: "I wanna be just like you

I'm mastering a mimicry of everything you do

A mask of mirrored imagery, absent of my misery"

Because Dick is Tim's idol. He's the person Tim's wants to be and models himself after and that can be so juicy in many ways.

oh i *love* this, actually. also ty for putting me on a song/artist i've never heard of <3

this song is so fun for like. a more obsessed Tim, i love the repeated lyric of "I'll do whatever it takes". i *love* Tim's idol worship of Dick Grayson so dearly, it is a foundation of DickTim. the song has a shyness in it's worship with the first verse that i love? sitting nervously just for the chance of getting looked at? begging for the person to just ask for your *name*? god i love it. would be fun to explore the angle of Tim always seeing Dick at galas and social events and never having the guts to talk to Dick on his own, but *praying* he'll have his little moment of Dick coming to him and introducing himself and wanting to know who Tim is.

i always love the fact wth DickTim, that Dick suggested Tim to be Robin. bc it means Dick is the one that Tim feels like he has to prove himself to, not Bruce. so him wanting to be like Dick, trying to mirror everything that Dick is in that "Robin is magic" sort of way. Tim's problems are easy to ignore when he's Robin, bc he doesn't have to be himself. he gets to be Dick's mirror, Dick's legacy.

i think the line "and you should bite your tongue 'cause i'd steal it just so i can be a muse" is *super* fun to get into the more unhealthy side of Tim's obsession/worship of Dick. how badly he wants to hold onto Robin, hold onto the pieces of Dick that he's been given and not let go. anything to stay in Dick's footsteps. even when Dick hurts Tim, he still wants to be Dick. his love for Dick is so layered, i'm obsessed with it. could also be interesting if that's part of why it takes Tim so long to realize his feelings include a crush, bc he's always perceived it as wanting to *be* Dick, not being in love with him. but what is being in love with something if not loving it so much you crave becoming it? he wants to consume Dick whole and be him bc then maybe he can love himself more. there's so much to be done with that complex.

[yonemurishiroku]

Okay look I still think about Nico being Cupid’s favorite at least twice a day because of you, but like also consider whoever Nico has feelings for/has feelings for Nico being Cupid’s favorite accessory. Like making them fall in love with someone else, making them hate Nico, making them live Nico so much to the point of obsession where it’s off putting and vice versa. I mostly just want to image him playing with people Nico cares about like how I used to play with my dolls

This ask is from Apr 3, I hope you're still obsessed wth this because you can be damn sure I am.

jk omg i'm so sorry it took this long for me to answer jashdajkdhak i got carried away for quite a while. 😭😭

Anw this got me so enthralled like the potential you're talking about. 🙈🙉👀👀👀 I'm vibrating with joy because this Cupid is just like me, you know? Like. Do I want Nico to be happy? Yeah that sounds great. But I value my excitement more, which might or might not include Nico in utter agony.

Now. The idea of Nico being Cupid's favorite, while does sound sweet and loving, entails a specific kind of obsession that's the farthest from sweet and I'm all here for it.

I'm especially interested in the "making them love Nico so much to the point of obsession where it’s off-putting" part btw. Bc as we all know, love was what Nico craved yet couldn't get, so imagine now he's given so much of it - unwillingly - to the point of unhealthy? Ohhhh how fucked up it is - the idea that the scale would never balance in Nico's favor but always remain on the dangerous side bc that's how love is - unrestrainable and unpredictable.

And what's even more thrilling is that - at the end of the day - Nico would have to choose: Either to give up love, or to let it devour him whole. There's no in-between, and happiness is far from reach. He would have to understand that love does not guarantee happiness, whereas happiness does not happen without love. And he would have neither.

I'm Cupid and I'm laughing. When all the curtains fall down and I reveal myself as the mastermind, you can bet your fortune that I'd revel in the brokenness in Nico's eyes that is the shards of his love. And what can he do - when his existence, the love that he holds - is what keeps Cupid thriving? Nico is a moth to flame. He knows he'd burn to death, but he keeps diving head-first into it. It's a type of helplessness - when you know you shouldn't, but you cannot stop himself.

I need nothing. I just want to see his heart bare. He would probably slice me in half but that's not the point. The point is that Nico's love is a shining, brilliant, dazzling thing, I'd plunge my hand into his chest and pry it out from behind his ribs if I have to.

Damn I'd be a perfect Cupid.

I think it's the most exciting part of this whole thing, actually - to see Nico in love. As in, Nico and love. Nico's love-life whatever. I mean. what love can do to Nico, and what he can do in the name of love. Because Death and Love are just twins, and Nico is so much love the same way he's the embodiment of death. Cupid doesn't favor Nico. He likes Nico's love. And like a child, he would twist and turn, break and bend it until he gets sick of it.

This ask sets my brain on fire and I'm dancing around the bonfire as if it's a festival.

[linettiewizowski]

So I saw this one post from someone on their opinion of the love square. And I really wanted to point out a few things but their replies are turned off.... So I'm answering it here anyways.

(This rant is very long, not kidding, if ya feel like reading what's basically a big ass PowerPoint then go right ahead)

- Being a child does NOT give you a pass to stalk, be possessive over, steal from, invade the boundaries, invade the personal space, of someone you have a crush on.

That is wrong. Children should not be allowed to carry on such innapropriate, behavior. No one should.

- Children need guidance and protection. They cannot always learn or handle things on their own....that should be obvious with Marinette and especially Adrien.

Plus-

°I don't think Tom & Sabine ever expected Marinette to be a stalker....so they would never think to teach her otherwise.

- Yes I know she does realize what she's doing is wrong.....but then she just continues anyways. (Or maybe it only seems like she didn't stop because the episodes are out of order? But even then she STILL acts like this in newer episodes so I'm still sticking to what I said.)

°Adrien.......needs to be taken away to a safe & stable household. (Please let Emelie awaken soon, maybe she'll set things straight. Gabriel deserves a divorce & prison.) Even so, Gabriel does recognize such unhealthy behavior. Gabriel also would not at all expect his son to behave so innapropriately. I am purdy sure he thinks Adrien is "perfect." He even calls Adrien "perfection" in one episode. - It would not even cross his mind to teach his son proper etiquette concerning a crush.

>Ahem, Adrien's possessive, territorial, pushy, somewhat obsessive, Jealous, sometimes moody behavior concerning his feelings for Ladybug.

Constantly hitting on her, flirting with her, getting up in her space, when she has repeatedly showed him that she is NOT interested in him. Even when she revealed she had feelings for another boy he kept pushing.

- The episode where he thought he had right to be angry when she "stood him up" when - The way "Chat" said it & the way "Lady" reacted? Lady only saw it as a dinner between friends.....He then went on to set up an obviously romantic candlelight dinner.

- Once again, Ladybug has made it specifically clear, she is not interested.

Lady did not even fully agree to said dinner. She said she had plans.

Adri-Chat asked "If they end early, come join me?" Lady said "We'll see."

- That is not a yes, that is a maybe. He didn't even take HER plans into account, didn't even think "Well maybe her plans didn't end early." He just gets mad. And Lady should not have been made to feel guilty just because Adri-Chat cannot seem to take/understand a no & a maybe.

- Adri-Chat getting jealous when that one artist expressed his crush on Ladybug and going on to cross Lady's boundaries by lying about the reality of his & Lady's relationship.

(Yes I know, that dude was an adult and Lady-Mar actually a teen. But at that point in the show I'm pretty sure no one could guess the age of Lady & Chat (strangely) and like Spooderman no one thought them to be actual children.) Adri-Chat did that without thinking or even asking for Lady's input. Not cool at all.

- Acting all happy, triumphant when they regained their memories in Oblivio and Alya caught a pic of their amnesiac selves kissing.

What Adri-Chat says: "We're meant for eachother Milady, you're the only one who doesn't see it." (Okay sigh, this boy.)

1. That is a totally uncalled for, arrogant and presumptuous thing to say to Ladybug.

2. (Entirerly From Adri-Chat's perspective) Oblivio erases memories right? So Adri-Chat doesn't even consider the erasion of Lady's supposed crush on this other boy. Leading her to fall her HIM yes, but that's not the point.

Neither of them were in their right minds, as they had no memories. From HIS perspective Lady did not remember her crush on this other boy, if she did, she would not have fallen for Chat at the time of the memory erasion.

Adri-Chat does not at all think about that, all the while STILL ignoring her feelings for the other boy. Nope, he thinks this is some kind of encouragement to keep harassing her because "Maybe she'll choose me one day?" A.K.A. "Maybe she'll come around one day?" - (contemplating calling it sexual harassment because the characters of course do not get sexual, it being a kid's show) But his intent is to get her to date him....Hm. It is still harassment though.

>Ahem,hem. Marinette's obsessive, compulsive, possessive, territorial, jealous, fanatical, controlling, a LOT of times single minded, stalker behavior concerning her feelings for Adrien.

°Same drill - Not dating (Even if they were, still wrong just adding in)

°Adrien has not at all made his feelings clear on anyone (from Mari's perspective)

°Has not shown romantic interest in her.

°Adrien is not aware of her behavior at all. Not even when he spots all of the pictures of him in her room does he get it. (Being too naive is a very bad thing Adrien.)

°Marinette sometimes acts as if Adrien belongs to HER and no one else can have him. She goes to great, ridiculous and sometimes extreme heights just to keep girls she sees as rivals away from him.

She goes overboard, embarrasses herself, acts immature & compulsive. Sometimes she gets mean.

°Chloe & Lila being horrible is no excuse for her to treat Adrien like a possession, and also like he isn't an intelligent person who cannot notice obvious/strange things or protect himself.

(The plot is confusing yes, Adrien not noticing Mari is Ladybug, giving Chloe multiple chances/still being her friend, Being sympathetic to Lila.

While ALSO in some cases being close to connecting the dots to Mari being Lady, Condemning Chloe's outrageous behavior even in one instance totally putting his foot down, and being one of the only people to see through Lila's lies and side with/protect Marinette....though not exactly how he should.) Chalk it up to not that great writing = serious plotholes.

Anyways

°Adrien can kiss, hang out with, travel with, talk to and date whoever he wants. Mari has NO right to manipulate situations where he can't do that. I.E Controlling behavior.

°Now, Kagami is not a bad person. (More than Half the fandom's treatment of her is very disappointing.) Yes I know, she can be harsh, standoffish and cold sometimes. But-

°She does not intend to be mean, she does not, nor does she want to bully anyone. She does not bully Marinette. She just wants Marinette to stop being indecisive and flighty because Kagami ALSO likes Adrien (and by the way she was raised) does not think people should be so indecisive & hesitant or they'll miss important chances for them to take in life.

°Kagami does not think Mari is right for Adrien no, but as soon as she thinks Adrien is interested in Mari? She immediately backs off & respects his wishes. She only engages again when Adrien shows interest in her again.

°Then later on in the show she even attempts to make friends with Mari genuinely because she wants to make friends.....(and Mari doesn't understand because of Kagami's awkwardness but is also simultaneously clouded by her feelings for Adrien.) Kagami actually feels hurt when she finds out that Marinette initially didn't like her.

Kagami is a GOOD girl.

°Now, what Marinette did to Kagami in Animaestro before that was very unacceptable.

Temporarily teaming up with Chloe to sabotage/publicly humiliate/embarrass Kagami to "not let her get Adrien" "not let her take Adrien away," mess with Adrien's perception of her.

- Jumping to outrageous conclusions out of paranoia, panic and fear. (My cute child needs to be sat down and sternly talked to about this.)

- Trying to manipulate & take away Adrien's choice to decide whether he wants Kagami or not.

(I think this probably marked the episode where Mari's unhealthy/toxic behavior starts to spiral as new episodes come out. (And these ARE out of order so wth is up with Mari's unhealthy escalation lately?)

- Using Tiki for personal, jealous purposes to humiliate Lila in front of Adrien. Acting so irrational and heated in front of 2 civillains(from her perspective) Mari?

- Invading Adrien's home/room, touching everything, lying on his bed....sniffing his things? 😧 Without his consent just to leave a present....when she could have just left it on the window sill, not barge into his room and NOT act very creepy.

- Everything she did & said when she thought that Adrien was one of the wax statues.

😮😬😖 Marinette, honey noooooOOOooo.

ALL OF THIS?

Toxic/Unhealthy behavior. It very much is.

Let's not pretend please.

This is not acceptable period. I very much side-eye another's perceptions on the matter when they say "I knew people like this" "They turned out alright."

Oh...did they? Or is this simply what YOU are saying and we, the internet people don't have the full story?

I Kill Bill squint my eyes at the opinions of people who so easily dismiss toxic/unhealthy behavior.

This is not simply a discussion on fictional characters btw, but on the behavior itself ECT. and the fact that this person brought in real people as an example.

(Btw Any teens reading this? Young adults? Please remember to use protection when having sex. Babies are a high stress responsibility that a person who is either still a kid or a very young adult should not be handling or have to handle. "Results may vary" and all that. Another person's experiences aren't guaranteed to be yours and we already have COUNTLESS evidence that having babies while young is NOT a good idea. Please & Thank you.)

In response to a little tidbit in that person's post.) Anyways.

- Being mature while in a relationship is very important. That much is apparent.

In the context of the show for these 2 teens they are in love with one another.

You cannot behave like all of THIS if you wish to maintain a relationship with someone.

This is not grounds for a healthy, safe, respectful relationship.

°Not respecting your friend or spouse, their choices, their boundaries, their space, their being makes you a borderline abusive person.

(Guys c'mon.) If Adrien & Marinette were real people? They would be very creepy, toxic kids. Hell we DO have some very toxic people, even children that act like this in real life. This is a no. All the no.

- Other ships in the show being unhealthy does not in no way invalidate or downplay the fact that Adrien & Marinette's behavior is unhealthy.

- There are many, many, many, many instances of their unhealthy behavior, not "just two." It's insulting that this person treats the fans who point this out as if we are some idiots who do not watch the show and therefore can not call out this obvious lie.

- There being moments where Adrien & Marinette actually behave theirselves for once does not at all erase or invalidate every single one of their toxic moments.

- The show does not do a good job of writing scenes where getting into these characters heads that behaving this way is unacceptable, at all. No character development there.

(Them giving up on persuing eachother at the end of the season does not address the toxic behavior. That is just them being tired of not getting the results that they want from their crushes.)

- It's hard for me to debate as well. Calling the whole ship unhealthy/toxic? In real life, no way josay would this be okay, in the show? Marinette & Adrien at their core ARE good kids. And they DO sometimes realize their mistakes. But it really, truly isn't enough. There is either not much or no consequences to their innapropriate behavior at all.

(You might say Chat Blanc, but that was circumstance because they didn't reveal their identities to each other in full, not consequence for Mari's creepy room invasion, that was separate.)

It's so debatable. These unhealthy behaviors should NOT be encouraged and the Love Square shouldn't be shipped during them.

I'm just gonna say that I hope with all my might that the writers get it into their heads that this is NOT okay to market to children and that they CANNOT expect kids to understand or tell what toxic behavior is or that the innapropriate things Adri & Mari do are okay.

THAT is a large issue above all else here.

(Let's get some major character development please.)

- "Sometimes you have to sacrifice when you love someone."

This sounds way left field and is not at ALL what the fans who protest Adri & Mari's toxic behavior are talking about.

- "I think a lot of the criticism comes from people who just don't understand love. Maybe they've never been in love."

How absolutely patronizing, condescending, presumptuous in itself and very ignorant.

That's not even. How do I respond to that?

Wow.

I am not repeating myself, I already wrote a whole darn essay. My answer to this is all of the above.

And lastly-

"But the love square is FAR from toxic.

Far, far, far from it."

...Hm. Hm Hm. Hm. Yes of course. 😐😐😐

Okey. I think I'm done here. It's literally been an hour gathering my thoughts, typing and editing this. Anybody who actually read all of this, feel free to comment? Note? I dunno, I'm new to Tumblr. Calling comments/replies "notes" is weird to me.

[dreamingsushi]

Before we get married - Episode 3

I love it so much when an episode starts with a fight between a couple that does belong together.  All again about the house, about sneaking around to be together. Since every thing as to go as planned, Haoyi wants to buy the uneven house and then tries to make Weiwei talk to Ziyuan.  Does he ever think about her?  That night too she has to do overtime.  When she goes home it’s raining hard.  Haoyi asks if she brought an umbrella and she lies she did.  Conveniently, Kehuan is waiting in his car for her.  He follows her going into the convenience store.  When comes out... she didn’t even buy an umbrella or those plastic rain coats, nope, she just got a cardbox.  So he kinds of yell at, asking where is her boyfriend.  She says he’s at home and since he’s riding a scooter, he would also be drenched if he came to pick her up.  She cares so much about him while he treats her so poorly (in my opinion).  And I don’t get Kehuan going : “if it was me you would never be drenched in the rain”.  He doesn’t know her, why does he act like he is the guy she didn’t chose?  They saw each other like what... 5 times?

Well anyways, she’s like don’t get near me again, I deleted you.  And he’s like : sorry, I went overboard saturday.  NO KIDDING.  There’s something wrong with this guy.  She refuses a ride home, so he buys her an umbrella.  And then he asks her to listen to a song with him.  That’s like so random.  But hey.  Let’s go with the flow.

At the office, Kefei receives a nice flower bouquet and her collegues are jealous.  She pretends she doesn’t like it, it’s so outdated, but I think she is actually really pleased to have a suitor.

At Kehuan’s office, Ziyuan is still meddling in his business.  So when he comes home, he is quite pissed at her. And she is so obnoxious at some point.  Why isn’t he just breaking up with her?  This is so unhealthy...  Oh... So he’s mad because she meddled with Baiyang’s business.  Well yes.  I mean, you can bear to have a compulsive girlfriend that controls your life, but not your friends’ life.  THAT’S THE LIMIT GIRL!

Well she shouldn’t interfere with anyone’s else life but hers for a start.

Blah blah blah, all I do is for you, blah blah blah.  Good job Kehuan, you go tell her.  Well she still wins in the end the fight, but at least she’s hurt.  I AM HAPPY ABOUT HER MISERY.  Does that make me a bad person?  Maybe.  But she’s so annoying.  I can’t stand her.  She’s to clingy and desesperate.

And naturally what do we do when we fought with our girlfriend?  Go stalk the other girl! Weiwei’s taking out the trash and he asks her to spend a night with so she can get a really big discount on the house. Hahahaha.  Every time he gets normal, he goes back to creepy.  What is this guy?  I just can’t...

Well Kefei sees them together, she babbles about how nice would it be to sleep with Kehuan and how she wouldn’t go out with Baiyang because why give a forest for only one tree.

OMO!  A SHOWER SCENE YAY!  A drama isn’t a drama without a shower scene.  I mean main lead taking a shower.

Kehuan looks at his reflection in the mirror, saying he must have gone crazy.  Well, good thing you know you have.

Ziting, Ziyuan’s sister comes back from.. was it America?  I can’t remember.  I hope she is less crazy than the sister.  Okay, she’s back from New York.  To me she looks, for now, to be the most decent character.  In two minutes I can tell (don’t tell me she’s also twisted).  Ziyuan asks Kehuan to come back to sleep in their room instead of taking the guest room. HAHAHA.  Like it would happen.  Ziting is like : wth is wrong here?  And Ziyuan “everything is fine”.  She’s so delusional.   At some point, it’s sad.  I grive with you, though I really dislike you.

Li Haoyi’s father comes all the way from his hometown to see the house with them.  Haha.  There is only Haoyi to like that house.  Dad is really unhappy.  He thinks more of Weiwei than his son.  I like this episode so far.  Realistic characters finally came!  It’s a pity they are not main leads haha.

Okay.  I am in love with the dad.  He’s like : Weiwei don’t marry this dude.  HAHAHA!  I love you dad.  You are the best.  So Daddy is willing to help them buy a nice place.  Apparently when he was younger, Haoyi had to move many times, so that’s why he really doesn’t want to rent an apartment.  Legit I guess.  And for once, he is being considerate of Weiwei.  I appreciate that.  Good boy to thank her for sacrificing her quality of life.  And then, awww, cute, he says anywhere that there is you, it’s my home so I am okay to rent an apartment. This smells like bad news, seeing Weiwei’s face. 

I WAS RIGHT.  The sister is a decent human being!  Yay!  She pays back Kehuan for all the monetary support he gave her while she was in the U.S.  Good girl.  I think she kind of judges her sister from living out of Kehuan’s money.  Ziyuan’s face is so hurt hahaha. Bim!  Aww Ziting.  She just criticizes her sister for controlling her boyfriend’s life.  And she’s like, stop clinging to what mom said, it’s just her wish.

Weiwei is overthinking the house thing.  Seems like her boyfriend thinks if someone has to sacrifice anything it should be him, cause for her he would do anything except killing someone.  At least he has morals.  So obviously, she’s going to accept to sleep with Kehuan so they can get the house Haoyi wants.  Stupid girl.

So she sends back the jacket with a note to tell him she agrees the conditions fort the discount on the house.  This is so twisted.  So they agree to see each other on Staturday and she tells her boyfriend she’s going back to her hometown to see her mom and tells Kefei she has a blind date.  I don’t feel great about this.  Turns he rented a whole place.  He is going to charge her for that and then there is no discount? Hahaha.  That would be epic.  Anyways, they get rid of all the employees and she starts cooking BBQ.  And it takes the whole day hahaha.  I love it when they do this.

Oh he wipes her sweat!  She is moved by the gesture.  You know what I think?  She is so bored with her boyfriend and even though he pissed her off, he brings excitement to her life which is why she has agreed.  It’s not really fort Haoyi.  She just doesn’t know.  Everybody in this drama in abnormal haha.

So Kefei posted a message on some social media that she wants to buy cola.  Which actually means Make love, because in Chinese it sounds similar (it’s actually not similar haha).  And Baiyang comes out.  And they probably had sex.  I wish this storyline wasn’t so centered on sex.  It’s getting boring.  And Baiyang is so infatuated with her and she’s like stop saying this, go outside and forget everything.  Oh god.  Poor guy.

Back to the main story.  Kehuan bought a 100,000 taiwan yuan apple.  Weiwei thinks it’s a waste to eat it (I think it would be a waste not to eat it but well, maybe a rotten apple is worth a lot more), so they fight, the apple gets in a pond, Weiwei goes to retrieve it.  Cliché.  Anyways, he is like you are so dumb that it makes me fall for you so he lifts her up in his arms.  And then he’s like : If I could be your man, I would cherish you for life.  Hahaha.  So is he in love with her? Or he is just trying to play with her? This is so weird.  He is so obsessed by her since the beginning and he knows like... nothing about her.  It’s confusing.  Well it looks like she doesn’t dislike him touching her.  She is wanting it.  But she breaks it by talking about her boyfriend.  She goes on and on about how she is willing to sacrifice herself to make her boyfriend happy.  Oops.  Should not have said that.  Kehuan goes crazy.  And I love what he is saying.  It gave me chills.  Well, he is wrong to only blame woman, because guys also do it trust me, but still.  These so called sacrifices are breaking the love between two people.  So true, so true.

Anyways, he leaves and says he won’t sell the house.  Weiwei is so shooked. Is it because she won’t get the house or because what Kehuan said was true?  Probably because of the house.

At home, Ziting questions Ziyuan about her relationship with Kehuan.  She feels the end is close.  I love her.  Ziting and Dad, best characters <3  As usual, Ziyuan is like no he loves me, it’s just that we have been together for so long and that he is busy with work.  I can’t even imagine Kehuan being in love with Ziyuan at some point haha.  Poor girl.

Kehuan bumps into Haoyi at a jewel store, Haoyi is looking for a wedding to propose to Weiwei.  So Kehuan helps him a little before leaving, with a broken hearted look on his face.  It must remind him of when his relationship with Ziyuan was great (if it ever was).  Or he’s just sad Weiwei is not what he though or that he can’t have her or whatever.  Who knows?

Well I guess it got into me.  I am so going to finish this drama.  I still don’t like it very much but... I want to know what is going to happen.  So I guess... I actually like it?  Episode 3 showed improvement and introduced two characters I like so I am happy, even though I don’t think they will be there often.  I’m intrigued by the background story between Ziyuan and Kehuan.  Why is she so dependant of him to that point?

[kwanfairy]

CHOICE TAG

Rules: Answer the questions (if you want to skip one, feel free to do that too of course!). Tag 3 people (or more or less, you choose really). Tag your post with #CHOICE_tag so we can find each other’s posts! Have fun!!

I was tagged by @choi-hae - thanks love for always thinking of me (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

I’m tagging: @aamorella @moonsehyoon @kimbye0ngkwan

i know i havent interacted with either of you 3 yet and i feel kinda akward for calling you out like this so pls feel free to ignore.

1. Introduce yourself. You choose how much and how little!

hi hi im Bikki and i hate introducing myself cause i never know what to say lmao. im a pretty big loser with a big heart and an unhealthy obsession with anything dog related cause dogs are everything („ಡωಡ„)

2. How and when did you become a CHOICE?

ive started to get into kpop fairly 'late' (in 2016) and by the time undercover dropped a year later i was still quite confused and overwhelmed but i remember i really liked the song (and could not for the life of me tell bk and sehyoon apart in that MV wtf @ 2017 me LOL). fast forward to 2020 when favourite boys hit me like a truck and honestly it all is kind of a blur afterwards lmao. the aes of the MV had me fall in love with them instantly and i think i watched a bunch of 'funny moments' vids and stuff and it all spiraled from there

3. What is your favourite part of being a CHOICE?

4. What is your favourite A.C.E song? Do you prefer their title tracks or b-sides more?

this fandom mirrors the boys' crackhead energy like i have yet to meet a choice who isnt just as weird as the fools themselves and i absolutely love it (◡‿◡)

also: being choice means being a fan of ace and whats better than that

i really cant say. i like each song for very different reasons. i love Stand By You for its soft yet melancholic vibes. i love Golden Goose cause their performance on theshow killed me. id literally go feral listening to Hell if they finally. give us. a studio version. :) :) :)

5. Who’s your bias? What do you like about them?

my bebi Byeongkwan for sure eventho i also feel very drawn to Sehyoon cause we are pretty similar personality wise (i say as i dont really know him at all lmao). but best boi BK will put me into simp mode in -0.34 secs. i cant really say why i just love this gorgeous lil firecracker (ಥ◡ಥ) and im obsessed with ppl calling him fairy it literally makes me flatline cause yes yall are so right.....

but really, im a huge simp for them all (yes... even jun eventho it makes me gag to admit it LMAO)

6. What is your favourite thing about A.C.E?

how they play (and fuck) with gender norms and try out so many different things, esp style-wise. to me, it is such an aesthetically pleasing group(point proven with the siren teasers id say). i also love how natural they seem. like they dont bother about upholding a fake image. i esp get that feeling of 'just 5 dudes being friends' which i love so dearly during their vlives - its so refreshing and fills my heart so much

7. Which concept has been your favourite? What kind of concept do you want them to try?

8. Which A.C.E friendship is your favourite? Which one do you want to see more of?

id say undercover is pretty high up there (i mean pig tails crop top BK .......) but it looks like siren will take the crown once she drops....

i showed my anti(kpop) friend the intro:escape video and she said it gave her the creeps in a good way and ever since i have gone mad wanting a horror concept omfg

9. If you could tell A.C.E one thing, what would you tell them?

given that wowkwan are soft, tender, gentle boyfriends who have all my fucking uwus and therefore dont count, id say dongjun. wait nevermind these are husbands... ok junchan it is. i just love their father-son vibes

id love to see more donghun/sehyoon but only if grandpa doesnt call yoon fat or pig cause thats a big nono!!! or dongkwan cause i cant really think of any moments of them wth

how dare yall (¬_¬)

10. Which A.C.E member would die first in a horror movie?

11. Leave a small message for your fellow CHOICE!

i think its funny that everyone says jun but lets be honest.. the dumb ones usually make it longer dksdjkl

it for sure is sehyoon cause this airhead would probably get lost in his own thoughts without even noticing that he got separated from the others. the second his man BK isnt with him anymore to protect him its over for him lol

how are you all dealing with the teasers share your secrets cause im not doing so well :')

no but srsly the choice ive interacted with have been so incredibly nice and kind and patient with me and i love how this small lil fandom is so vibrant and caring both towards the boys and one another.

[kendrixtermina]

Baby Reacts to the Latest Steven Bomb

SPOILERS

So apparently we’re getting the obligatory beakup/ couples-first-argument storyline

It seems to me that Steven’s optimism and rose tinged glasses are being adressed as a character flaw... and let me tell ya, it IS, or at least can be no matter how  much our current society worships “positivity”. A person who wants to pretend their problems dont exist isnt always inclined to see yours, even if they are otherwise a generous and nice person. 

my mother has this particular flaw and while i love her to bits (after all there are no perfect humans),this has at times very frustrating for my sisters and I.

and ohhh political unrest!

MODERN political unrest as in how it is changed by internets & stuff

there were certainly some analyzeable lines in there

who knew granny pizza gave such good speeches?

a lesser show would just have pulled a new character out of their sleeves instead of grabbing a random sensible cast member wth some leadership ability 

aww steven not everything is your fault

thats one way to end the episode...

ep 2

im not surprised that Lapis wants to bail after all she’s been through but i expected more of a reaction from peridot like wasn’t she resolved to protect the earth join the rebellion and stick it to the diamonds? 

i mean i was never among the ones who claimed she had been sillyfied but if this doesn’t get mentioned later imma be upset this was THE opportunity for conflict/character nteraction/ serious content here

Ohh OHH I take it all back I see where this is going

She does actually want to help the rebellion, but her “follower” tendencies wouldn’t completely go away because shes in a new situation and she may have been a tad overwhelme finding herself caring for someone who was recovering from so much punishment so she’s walking on eggshells around lapis now

Onions Onions lol

So they’re playing off the expectation that they’re this comey duo now but subverting it

In the end they did stay true to Peridot’s character here like of COURSE she wants to stay and fight everything weve seen from her so far would suggest it

aww poor bby the thing with ddoing the right thing is there’s not always a reward

Is that a sort of relationship deconstruction, conclusion? I may need to rewatch things & see if there was always a tedency for ‘Dot to accomodate Lapis perhaps by acting all silly, i mean they were abvle to have at least silly arguments in “the crsytal temps”

I emphasize with Peridot here I mean when you’re less affected and the other person went through something you couldn’t imagine and someone ~should~ be there to help them your own concerns start looking insignificant

Also she may feel some residual guilt for kind of dragging Lapis into this...

Then again having ‘Dot in the temple may mean more screentme especially as the Diamond’s arrival drawn nearer

Again the contrast here is interesting - Peridot is much weaker in terms of powers but has a personality suitable to fighting whereas Lapis for all her power is just plain terrified

So far the eps have been meaty enouh compared to the long stretch of calm-before-the-storm town episodes we’ve had but they haven’t even talked-over the big developements of the last bomb or the very promising trailer clips with Greg, Pearl and the others. 

Indeed, distinct lack of Garnet, Amethyst and Peal so far wouln’t they have something to say about the Lapis situation?

Though mybe that is meant to emphasize this arc of Steven taking all responsibility onto himself instead of going to them like he would have earlier - it isn’t just Lapis, he hasn’t talked to them about the Connie Situation either

ep 3

It’s Greg! That at least seems like a promising sign 

Texting feels

Aww even around Greg he’s this worried about effing everything up

I like the narration of the texts

Likefinally a show that instead of being “you kids with your trinkets” explores the emotional dimensions these things have become involved with

Aaand of course Greg notices * sigh * if only there were more dads like Greg in this world

And he doesn’t even push it, just “do you want to talk about it” Oh Greg you wondrous human

The house! Haven’t seen it in ages

So Greg probably mobilized the gems into cheering Steven up. They DO notice & care

lol Garnet

They try and its precious after what felt like long empty eps in which its just Steven and his thoughts, playing the “responsible” role

“a projection of the self compared to the intended delivery of the writers” lol Best joke in ages and i dont even like meta jokes that much

Ronaldo has never been so relatable

“Cool Ranch”

Steven is RLY feeling those angsty teenage years atm not too long ago he would have been super excited about this

Same observation as with Roses’ scraps I guess

And its painful because its a logical consequence of what he’s been through but on the other hand the wonder and appreciation were always what we loved about Steven?

Now he’s even dismissing extra info 

PD and everyone else’s past selves just drooping as the explanation is cut off tho

I guess he’s trying hard to be mature about it and accept it; Demanding xplanations would contain a morself of curiosity or accusation

But II wanted to here, stevieboy

Its rly heartbreaking how different hes acting from... “his usual self”? IDK man maybe its jut the adult-er version of him which is not what I’d want it to be but it could nonetheless be true

OHH and now it gets RLY RL again

The parenting conversations, Greg being all out of his depht and yet very much worried for Steven’s wellbeing

Pearl continues to have some particular hangup about the PD situation

Pearl as the most rooted in homeworld society is surely not helping, portraying it as a “not that bad “ question & still believing in some of the mysticoism of their society even if she’s rejected the beliefs themselves

Now we KNOW there’s a secret there

But alas, Steven was dealing with a way more humany-teenagery problem there...

Baby’s first breakup

Human Dad to the rescue!

Aand at long last ther’s some adressing of the whole thing in a holistic way that separating it into “gem stuff and human stuff” would not have accomplished

And off COURSE it was ronaldo

the best ep so far

aww family cuddles

lets hope that was an actual shooting star and not the incomming diamonds

ep 4

lol dat grungey morning sequence esp the minimalistic ear

And using the kitchen sink b/c Dot lives in the bathroom now

The Amethyst approach to music

Aaand of course Zuke couldn’t help piling on the breakup aesthetic even though the last ep was going a different direction?? IDK man

But Dotty listening to sad music when sad is very relatable and yet more proof that wre long lost soul sisters

Was she holed up in there during the vacation tho? I guess those conversations happened offscrean to preserve the feeling of isolation in Steven’s Pov

“Uuuugh...” DAT Face too too memetastic not to laugh 

I think I would ignore this if the knowledge of the backstage drama and agenda pushing didn’t leave a bad taste in my mouth 

And I mean look at that relatable overdramatic grean bean the whole sequence is weirdly perf

“Whats the poooint...”

I felt compelled to admire this magnificence several times over

The unhelpful purple has now graduated to agressively tryng too hard purple 

I love how Amethyst wants to go revisit & reframe everything now that she’s gotten this different POv on it and feels better about herself

“You can make us feel dumb by telling us stuff we don’t know!” She knows Peridot well XD Such wholesome friendship

Dotty doesn’t even deny it

Gotta love Amethyst

Aww its that train from back then!

Even the musical allusion

“Very convenient Warp Pad”

My lil purple has come so far

So apparently “-”Dot” is canon now

Oh. OHHH

Right we saw that Dot was actually proud of her job but I guess this is also a reframing for HER something SHE now views differently. It used to be like the birds & bees for her, but now... 

Thank you , day saving flower

WH0000T I thought the plot had forgotten about Peridots “renewable energy” pland she mentioned to YD and how this could revolutionize the Gempire but it seems Dotty is going to DO SCIENCE again

You know shes down when not even the traktor RLy cheers her up

Steven & amethyst tho

This whole project holds a deep almost “spiritual” significance for all three of them when you think about it, a kind of purification

the shovel thing was so cute

Super soakers!

The Ame-Copter is back

Loving this ep

Stylish Garden flamingo

The hyping is already making me think it didn’t take; Dot was right that they should hve analyzed the flower first

Called it. 

Ohh... didnt see THAT coming tho

Its like a corrupted anglerfish

I wonder if that used to be an amethyst

Ohh its a surprise smokie ~<3

not an amethyst maybe but purplish enough to be another former resident

Of course it wasn’t going to work overnight nothing ever does

but hey, hugs~

and perhaps thats just the setup for an ongiong plot arch still this could have used more of a sciencey approach

ep 5

Well judging by the title sadie is prolly heartbroken too

She prolly is but shes holdig up well enough

And hey at least Steven seems to be feeling better

Perhaps hiring a new donut boy would not have been that bad of an idea

This is surprisingly real

The whole crappy american millenial job situation

Steven is... REALLY bad at this

Lets appreciate that Sadie had a surprisingly deep character arc just trickling there heding everyting away so her mom don’t hijack it, pining away after an asshat to an unhealthy degree until she eventually just stopped obsessing over it all and letting her own self shine?

Also nice treatise on the process of art

ep 6

Soo... Kevin’s back? That sounds... interesting... especially in the light of the whole breakup situation, he was usually Stevonnies designated rival but they`re unlikely to be in the ep

Is he gonna try to recruit Steven to dudebroism in his moment of weakness? That sounds interesting bc as much as pickup artists, MRM scum redpillers ETC are frightening evil, to stop them one has to understand how they spread and what they often do is prey on young men with low self esteem - young men who don’t feel very privileged, are desperatre unhappy youngsters etc so they make themselves sound reasonable at first (at least to those who dont recognize their sales pitch/ rhetoric) to exploint natural curiosity, skepticism and a tendency to support supressed truth to then feed a person all sort of bullshit untill they blame women for all their problem - actually racists and other hategroups are much the same

They offer group identity, recognition & confidence to those who dont have it - So when it comes to fighting them, “immunizing” young boys against their salespitches with information and knowledge is just as important as fighting its most malignant supporters if not more but that doesn’t rly get as much attention bc bashing obvious evil people is satisfying and people who have been hurt & traumatized and had real harm done to them may find it hard to sympathize with young men... clearly its not the victims who need to do the work but society and those who raise & educate boys at every step of the way if society could be arsed to care

Ehh I should probably stop ranting and watch the actual episode

Should you really be giving Kevil your number?

“my crush will be at the party” is such an old cliche so the question is how exactly theyll subvert it

Unknown faces all around, prolly the less friendly side of town god job at establising the uneasy ambiance

Is that a BREAKUP HAIRCUT?

Ohhh the music slowing down the background fading away

So steven is one of those ppl who just keeps texting the void and connie is one of those pp who don’t

And I’ve been in this situation and im with connie here like if the relationship is not working because of legitimate reasons, are those reasons going to go away just because you cave and text the person back? Why would anyone keep texting like the problems will magically go away, or text back, what could the result be other than causing you both more pain

Like I understand it ttheoretically in a “humans process feelings differently” kind of way and im not bashing on Steven here but ill never understand-understand it

Conclusion: again this show gets real 

Kevin is such a platonical ideal of an asshat, you almost gotta admire the purity of his asshattery

Case in point he cannot understand the friendship component

Meanwhile of course conny has been having her own private freakout

And they didnt go the cliched angle of forcing the fusion right then & there

So I suppose this made sense as a miniarc and had some pretty real moments & necessary explorations though I do want to get back to the plot now

Soo lets see whom the fandom has decided to hate and distort THIS time...

[amusetoamuse]

Clique series

I’ve just finished the clique series by BBC3 and the ending was insane.

Massive spoilers ahead so if you have not finished the series, stop reading.

Recap/Review

The series started off with a pair of best friends named Holly and Georgia entering university together and looking forward to spending time together as BFFs. They were also hoping to get into this prestigious internship at Solasta Initiative which was started by their Econs lecturer Jude and her brother Alistair. It then took a dark turn when one of the interns, Fay, committed suicide by jumping off a building. Holly and her lecturer witnessed this and the event kind of scarred Holly as well.

She starts receiving messages from a mysterious person who called him/herself, James Baxter (Fay’s boyfriend). The videos and messages were a cry for help, hinting that Fay was actually murdered and did not commit suicide as we were lead to believe initially. Fay cries and says “Get out. Get out before you’re me” in the video and this sentence follows Holly throughout the series (6 episodes) as she tries to investigate what really happened to Fay.

Besides this, after her best friend, Georgia, decides to ditch her after getting in with the clique (Rachel Maddox, Phoebe and Louise) of Solasta interns, Holly feels like she has no one to turn to until she meets Rory, who is also an intern at Solasta initiative. Holly also seems to have a somewhat unhealthy obsession with Georgia. Given by how she constantly calls her friend to ask about her whereabouts and follows her around(sort of). I understand that she’s concerned that her friend is getting in with the wrong crowd but it comes off as a borderline obsession although we know that it comes from a good place.

Later on, we find out that Rory was actually working undercover for the police and Holly shares the intel that she’s been getting with him in hopes that the police/ Rory will get to the bottom of things and arrest whoever is behind all of this. (She seems a little too trusting, for all we know, Rory could be lying to her)

Georgia calls Holly one night, crying and asking for help but when Holly rushes to the rescue, Georgia brushes it off and acts like nothing happened. She even starts acting pretty nonchalant towards Holly. (Which is kind of weird since the series started off with them looking as if they were inseparable besties) but eventually we find out that it’s actually because Georgia was getting raped by her boss, Alistair and his client, Steiner.

Fay also suffered the same fate, as seen in the videos that were sent by “James Baxter” to Holly which was what contributed to her downward spiral before she “committed suicide”. So, we find out that Alistair and Steiner who is actually a criminal have been raping these interns(Fay and Georgia) and his sister, Jude, had absolutely no idea at all. Holly comes barging in to Alistair’s house, charged with emotions and reveals this to both Alistair and Jude who was completely taken aback and disgusted by her brother’s actions.

But that’s not really the most shocking reveal of this series. In a plot twist, we find out that Rory, Holly’s boyfriend and undercover police, was playing her the whole time and was actually working for Alistair. He kept all of the evidence that she gave him. (Why does she trust people so easily) He asks her to run away with him and she refuses and says they should go to the police and ask if he killed his best friend , the real James Baxter, to which he replies yes because he knew too much and was going to reveal the truth. When Holly continues to refuse, Rory is frustrated and somewhat desperate as well and he starts strangling her, planning to kill her just like he killed James.

Rachel Maddox comes to her rescue and literally stabs Rory to death repeatedly. I mean we already knew he was dead once she stabbed him but she had to stab him multiple times until there was blood all over the floor before she stopped. Holly, like any normal person, is utterly traumatized by everything that’s been happening and we watch flashbacks of what happens after Rachel saves her and cleans her up. All of this seems kind of fishy though, like how would Rachel know where Holly would be??

Anyway, throughout the series, Holly is constantly haunted by her past where she made a little girl jump into the sea because it was a prank. A pretty sick prank though if you ask me. Holly immediately regrets it and jumps into the sea to save the little girl but it’s too late and the girl eventually drowns while Holly survives and regrets it every single day. This event is also how she met Georgia who made her a better person and told her that it was okay.

Enter Elizabeth, Holly’s room mate and part-time stalker of the Solasta clique. She has a book with all of their info. If that isn’t obsessive, I’m not sure what is. She begins to suspect that something is off with Rachel Maddox and goes to see Jude about it saying that she did not have any information on her before she entered the university. Jude says she knows Rachel and that Rachel is fine and all but before this scene we actually see Rachel going all psychotic and threatening Alistair. She tries to seduce him and says that she can help him by telling him where Fay and James secret appartment is. The one where they did all of their research and found out that Alistair and Steiner were embezzling company funds besides raping interns. She also threatens to go to the police to expose him but he seems pretty unaffected. In the end, she trades the keys for the appartment for Alastair’s keys to the beach house, claiming that she loved it there.

And then comes the most shocking of all reveals. Rachel is actually Holly’s friend, Milly, from her childhood, the one who encouraged Holly’s prank which led to the little girl’s death. And she was actually the person who killed Fay, sent Holly all of those messages because she wanted to remind Holly of how much fun they had when they killed the little girl. Holly was oblivious when Fay committed suicide and Rachel figured that they had to be together when the person was killed in order for it to work which was why she killed Rory in front of Holly. Of course, Holly was too distraught from Rory’s death since she loved him until he betrayed her and tried to kill her to notice what Rachel/ Milly was trying to do.

WHAT?!?! That is insanely messed up but it doesn’t end there. Rachel/ Milly feels like Georgia is holding Holly back from who she really is or who Rachel thinks she is aka a murderer / someone who enjoys killing people?!?! And decides that Georgia has to go. She drugs Georgia and places her at the beach house while she goes to the bar to get an emotionally distraught Holly and also goes on to remind her that they have to finish what they started / remind Holly that she enjoys doing this. She even insinuates that Holly actually enjoyed it secretly when Rachel/ Milly killed Rory. Rachel and Holly head to the beach house where Georgia is and they head to the cliff where Holly is supposed to kill Georgia by pushing her off the cliff , somewhat similar to the incident that happened to the little girl when they were kids. Rachel smiles happily while holding a knife and eggs Holly on to push Georgia off the cliff. I guess at this point Holly really has no choice. She can’t call the police and she can’t run away with Georgia or Rachel might kill them so she jumps off the cliff with Georgia into the sea and then proceeds to save the drowning Georgia and they swim to the shore.

A while later, they wash up on the shore and wake up and Rachel walks down the stairs to the beach and is disappointed with what Holly has done. Why didn’t she kill Georgia like what Rachel/ Milly had initially planned?! She then tries to kill Georgia herself as she feels like Georgia is Holly’s conscience and stopping her from being her joining her. Holly runs to stop her and they roll around the floor fighting and trying to get the upper hand. Holly gets the knife and holds it to Rachel’s throat but she hesitates while Rachel asks her to kill her. Georgia says, “Stop!!” And Holly drops the knife just as the police and Jude arrive at the scene. Georgia and Holly make up by hugging at the beach tearfully.

The show then flash forwards into the future where everything is all fine and dandy. Holly and Elizabeth are room mates again, living together with the Solasta girls. Holly heads out of the house, claiming she has to visit her dad and meets Georgia on the way out. They have a chat but it seems like they’re still not as close as they were before. Holly continues walking along the street and runs into Jude who asks her if she’s okay and says that she wished they had some time to talk about everything that happened. Holly says it’s okay and continues walking to a place with metal fences as she looks out in wonder. The sound of a door opening is heard, she’s at the prison. (To meet who????)  Holly turns around and we see Rachel. They both exchange “Hi"s with a coy smile and the scene cuts to black.

Wait wth?!?! Just when I thought that Holly was done with Rachel and her serial killer ways, it seems as if Holly eventually caved in and actually enjoyed it just like Rachel/ Milly said she would. Shook. Also, throughout the flashbacks/ hallucinations that Holly has, Fay keeps on saying that Holly doesn’t understand but she will because she’s perfect and maybe what she meant in the end was that Holly was perfect to join Rachel in her murderous ways?? Lol wot!!! So that’s the end of season 1 of Clique and I am completely reeling from everything that happened throughout the series although some of it was expected, the reveals still shook me. The series started off pretty slow but it got really good in the end to capture all the sense of mystery like any thriller does with their plot twists. Over all, feeling a little shocked because I thought Holly was past all of the murderous stuff and had turned over a new leaf after murdering the little girl when she was young but for now, it seems that her past caught up to her and she actually enjoys it.

Over all, clique was a pretty enjoyable series and I’m wondering what kind of direction season 2 will head into. Maybe Rachel/Milly and Holly murdering people together after Rachel gets out of prison? Really messed up to me but the series is kind of hinting towards that. 🤔

Thoughts on the Series

This series really took us for a ride. At some moments, I felt like face palming when Holly was making bad decisions. When she started receiving the video messages from “James Baxter” (actually Rachel) , she should have just went straight to the police but instead, she decided to investigate what was going on by herself. She found out that Alistair was embezzling company’s funds and instead of again going straight to the police, she decided that it was a great idea to barge into Alistair’s house and confront him about it. For all we know, Alistair could have killed her for knowing too much. Then comes how she trusted Rory unequivocally and shared her intel with him when he said that he was an undercover police (which he was but he was actually working for alistair as well to help alistair cover up his crimes). She also let Rory keep all of her intel instead of keeping it herself / going to the police herself/ with him. WHY GURL?? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?? Also, she decides to tell the whole world everything that the secret source told her. She even tells Rachel herself (which is kind of funny since Rachel was the one sending her the videos). GURL, this is a murder mystery and you don’t know who you can trust but you decide to trust anyone/everyone? And also acting super recklessly in most situations. 

Also, the last episode kind of left me wondering what exactly happened to Steiner and Alistair in the end. In episode 5, we see Alistair in the prison calling Jude but what happened to him after it was revealed that Rachel was behind Fay’s death? I guess he probably stayed in prison since he raped Fay and Georgia. Also, what happened to Steiner? It’s like he just disappeared from the series. 

Overall, the plot of Clique (BBC3) was pretty dark but somewhere along the way,  they went on a different route. There are also some loopholes in the series which will hopefully be addressed in season 2. What was the rationale for Holly making such bad decisions + trusting everyone or is she just that naive? However, it was good that Alistair and Rachel suffered the consequences of their actions. Alistair for embezzling company funds and raping interns and Rachel for killing Fay and Rory. Jude also got fired from her job as a lecturer although it wasn’t exactly her fault but she was still associated with Alistair and could have prevented it. Like her boss said, she should have known and prevented it. Kind of wished the friendship between Georgia and Holly was mended. They seemed like the best of friends at the start of the series but somewhere along the way, Georgia decided that her new friends were more important along with career advancement while placing Holly on the back burner. I am also wondering how Holly and Rachel/Milly ended up in the same university after years of being apart. Was it fate/coincidence or was it all planned by Rachel/Milly. Why did she feel the need to change her name though? Was it because she did not want Holly to catch on to her so quickly? 

Clique is said to be written about the writer’s university days but my university days never looked as dark as this hahahah. But it does make for good TV! 

Alright, done with the review/ recap! Now I’ve got to study for my French oral tomorrow hahah but I’ll come back and edit this post properly when I’m done!

[shametheshadow]

Okay so I finally finished Ready Player One. Got a little eh in the middle with the romance and sometimes a little too openly expositiony with some things but I otherwise loved it. I can definitely see why it's been considered the nerd bible. Between the references, the action packed and imaginative scenes, the subtle pushes at the darker sides of nerd culture (enough to make you feel a little uncomfortable but not open enough to feel like you -a nerd- were being lectured), and the inclusiveness that didnt feel forced... It definitely made for a good read. It's an old book by now but spoiler if you want to read it still. I cant use the read more on my phone so here's just a warning. You had an abysmally poor fat kid as the protagonist (even when he gets fit he still becomes bald and eyebrowless), a curvy "rubenesque" gal with a large birth mark on her face who word vomits when anxious, an african american lesbian who also rocks her curves using a caucasian male avatar, and two japanese otakus who have never met irl but are considered brothers in the OASIS. Like... I know I'm one of the biggest skeptics when it comes to so-called diversity in media, but this book does it right. It slips it in there and doesnt make a huge deal about anything. It doesnt hold up this huge sign that shouts "HEY! Look at our african american character and our female love interest who needs no man!" it just lets the story happen and the characters do their thing so you can judge them on their own merit and personality. Besides Wade, you dont even know the identities of the other four of the High Five till near the end. It perfectly uses the anonymity of the internet to it's greatest advantage. And on a last note of diversity, the two god like beings of the book Ogden and Halliday are examples of how introversion and extroversion are required to make great things... And Halliday, creator of this entire virtual world, is even believed to be on the autism spectrum. And as I said before, at no point do you feel like you are being lectured to go outside and play or that someone is telling you that your interests are wrong. Instead it speaks as a voice of experience, showing you an outsider perspective on the lives of unhealthy nerd culture in ways like Wade eventually only ever wearing two haptic suits that he wears in rotation and shaving off all of his body hair... Or the "missing million" where the hikikomori epidemic in Japan is driven to the extreme. It gives the main character the wealth and power to do whatever they want just for the very uber nerd Wade idolized to give a gentle reminder in his last message that reality matters more than escapism in something that isnt real. Then there are the references. 80's and even some late 70's, there was so much crammed into every page that I, as a 90's child, could not hope to understand every one even with my love for older media. But that's okay. At no point did I feel lost. Instead I felt... A lot of Wade did I think. There is a reverence for the 80's. For Wade it was because the 80's came to represent his entire life, everything that his hopes, dreams, and fantasies were built on because Halliday was an 80's kid who built the OASIS and filled it with an easter egg hunt dripping in nostalgia. For me, it's similar. The 80's was the basis for everything I loved in the 90's. From the music to the fashion to gaming, and most of our greatest nerdy pop culture icons wouldnt have existed without the groundwork being laid in the late 70's and 80's. 90's kids are marked as some of the first with widespread access to computers and the internet at childhood, but what would that be without the creation of games like pacman or programming prodigies like Wozniak. It wasnt something I considered much before, but it definitely made me feel something to read a book all about the 80's. Not exactly nostalgia but kind of parallel to it. I feel like the 80's is often overshadowed by the 90's. So yeah... This book is awesome. I really enjoy the Steve Jobs/Wozniak duo of Ogden and Halliday. I think it showed off the positives of their very different characters very well. I loved to hate the Sixxers. I loved all of the High Five (I do wish we got more of the Daisho guys though. The part where Daito was actually murdered had me going "Oh shit" outloud) especially Aech whose name I really like. I did want a little bit of payback to Ir0k and I wanted to know more of what happened afterwards, but overall I'd say that by the end I was pretty happy. I did make the mistake of purchasing the movie and watching that though... It made me a mixture of sad, upset, and disappointed. You would think with Spielberg behind the wheel it would nail all of the right buttons but it... It just doesnt. Like... What was up with the bug eyed, elfish avatars? Except for Aech, most of the high five are just more idealized versions of themselves. Totally human with some of their less personally desired traits. But then like Aech... Wth... You took an average white dude with a cheshire smile and turned him into a hulking grey beast. Totally lessens the impact when discovering that he is a black woman by already having her avatar be to unrealistic. And why is Art3mis's avatar given a more athletic gymnast build? One of the body types that Wade states in the book is commonly used by most people, which is why her more curvy figure is unique and interesting. Her entire avatar is supposed to be more realistic to herself, something that captures his attention from the beginning. He can imagine it's what she looks like because she doesnt hide those features like most everyone does. The only thing she really changes is her birthmark. And do we really need to give her one of the best moments Wade has in the book just to make it seem like she has more power in the narrative? Art3mis is great because at no point does she really need Wade's help or rescue until the very end when the gate requires 3 people. She figures out the first key by herself first and is just unlucky enough to not be skilled at one particular game in a million. Even without Wade's suggestion at switching to play the other side, she would have won eventually. She was clever enough to realize that she could have two plays by waiting till midnight and was practicing in every spare moment. And even after she and Wade start seeing one another, it is Wade who is infatuated beyond reason and her who tries to keep her head in the game and feet grounded in reality. She finds and obtains the second key without any help at all. It was Art3mis who knows everything about Tempest, one of the final hurdles Wade needs to overcome, including the bug that gives you 40 extra lives when Wade starts with only one (and he eats through the extras fast). She doesnt need help to be an awesome female character. Wade has skills, I wont take that from him, but he gets by mostly on a lack of self preservation, paranoia, and luck ex machina. If it werent for him getting the second clue wrong and going to the entirely wrong planet, then wandering a different direction out and stumbling upon an arcade machine that nobody has ever found before (despite claiming that the world was picked over by every Gunter ever) and then utilizing his skills in pacman to win a mysterious quarter that just so happens to grant him an extra life after everyone else is vaporized in the final battle just outside the third gate... He never would have won. In that entire scenario his skill is utilized once. Arguably his skills only really come into play during the actual challenges for the keys and the gates. Every other moment actually focused on is mostly him stumbling around either as a paranoid mess or obsessive and depressed. Even with the first key, it's only by chance that during his Latin class he selectively hears the right words to set his brain into motion that takes him from Schoolhouse Rock to D&D to omg the key is hidden on the same planet that has every school! Granted he put in the time to compile all the experience and knowledge needed to connect those dots, but it was still luck that laid the dots out to be connected. I think I've ranted enough though. Originally this was going to most be, "Man, I loved this book!" and "Boy, I hated the movie..." but it got away from me as it usually does.

[mylifewithanoveractivemind-blog]

Lets get to know me, shall we?

Welcome back my fellow over-thinkers!

I thought I would give you a little bit of an insight as to who I am. So I thought I would answer these questions I found on Pinterest. Let’s be real, that where I get all of my creative ideas. So where this post is going to be obnoxiously long, I suggest grabbing a cup of coffee and snack. Alright, now I am going to shut up and dive right in!

What does your ideal day look like?

My ideal day involves sleep, coffee, chicken nuggets, a show to binge watch on Netflix and cuddles.

What did you want to be when you were younger?

I am pretty sure I wanted to be an actress or a singer. I definitely remember wanting to be a princess... oh wait... that is me now... OK MOVING ON!!!

Who are you most inspired by? Why?

I am most inspired by everyday people who work hard, are happy, and live the best life possible. That is what I strive for someday. (I’m sorry! Sometimes I am too sappy for my own good!)

Who would you love to meet? What would you ask?

I would love to me Prince Harry, and I would ask him to marry me and not Meghan.

What habit would you most like to break? What habit would you most like to start?

I would like to break the habit of getting the 12 piece chicken nugget meal ant chick-fil-a and start getting the 8 piece.... WHAT?!?!? I like chicken, OK?!?! Ok, on a serious note, I would like to stop over eating and start exercising... pray for me.

Think of a person you truly admire. What qualities do you like about that person?

The person that I truly admire is open and honest about their life and struggles. They are also sweet and kind, but also a total bad ass! (HAHA they never asked who it was!)

How do you like to relax?

I don’t.

When was the last time you did something you were afraid of?

I have an unhealthy obsession with my hair, and I just cut like a solid 5 inches off of it, and I actually LOVE IT! Now it hits perfectly right below my shoulders and it is perfect!

What are you most proud of?

My grades. #straightAs (YES I KNOW I AM A NERD)

What are you most afraid of?

Being alone.

If life stopped today, what would you regret not doing?

Living everyday to the fullest

Who would you like to connect (or reconnect) with? Why?

Again, Prince Harry. We are meant to be!

What qualities do you admire in others?

When they are just themselves

What practical skills do you wish you had?

All of them.

Imagine you’re in your 90s. What memories would you like to have? What stories do you want to tell?

Well that will depend what I have experienced in life when I get there!

What is your favorite book/movie/song? Why?

Elf! Why, you ask? Because SANTAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I KNOW HIM!!!!!

If you could make one change in the world, what would it be?

That no one is afraid to live.

What do you love to do for, or give to others (not an object – something from you personally)?

I love to put a smile on others faces and help them with their problems.

What excites you?

COFFEE.

What do you wish you did more of?

DRINK COFFEE.

Pretend money is no object. What would you do?

Go to Disney World, stay in Cinderella’s Castle, buy a car, pay off college, buy a house, marry Prince Harry... HEY! How did that get in there?!?!?

Let’s jump forward a year. What would you like to have achieved in the past year?

Hopefully I will be happier, and almost done wth college and own a Dunkin’ Donuts.

How do you want to be remembered in life?

Making a difference!

Well I hope you enjoyed this little look at me and my life! This was actually a lot of fun to do! Feel free to copy these questions and do your own! I hope everyone is doing well! I promise the next blog will be a little bit more interesting... maybe... hopefully... idk we will see! Anyways... I will talk to you guys in the next blog!

~The Girl with the Over-Active Mind <3