#i have an issue where any time i do Anything i feel the need to tell my friends about it for validation and attention and stuff
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toysrguts · 2 days ago
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Dae-ho (player 388) NSFW Alphabet
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first time posting something like this kinda nervy but i had to write for my pookie dae ho and my bro said it was good enough to post so here DAE HO TRUTHERS EAT UP if this does well there will be more to come trust
18+ content below the cut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
he's such a gentleman when it comes to aftercare. he’ll immediately help you clean up before you have the chance to move an inch, he’ll give you one of his shirts to wear (if you're not already wearing one) and he'll literally carry you to the bathroom to shower together. but if you're both too tired he'll just pull you close to him and play with your hair until you fall asleep in his arms
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
i think his own favorite body part would be his chest, hes got some nice pecs and he knows it. also cause he has a lot of upper body strength 🤤🤤 on you though its hard to choose one but he always finds himself grabbing onto your thighs and love handles so i think its safe to say those are his favorites
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
hes not a fan of making a mess, which isnt much of an issue anyway because spoiler alert he has a breeding kink!! he loves filling you up, especially when you both cum at the same time because it makes him feel connected to you. but if not inside he'll sometimes shoot a load on your face or chest cause it looks pretty when its all over you
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
he thoroughly enjoys being dominated. usually hes the one in control but he will bend over and take it like a good boy whenever the opportunity arises. being a big strong man is hard work, sometimes he needs to be taken care of too
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
he doesnt have a crazy body count or anything but he knows what hes doing for sure. especially when it comes to you, he knows your body and how to turn you on instantly and make you cum fast it fills him with so much pride
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
he loves the intimacy of missionary. any position where he can look into your eyes and be pressed skin to skin with you are his favorite. cowgirl is a close contender because he can look up at you while motorboating you and gripping your thighs. he also likes the one where he lifts you up and fucks you against the wall cuz he gets to remind you how strong he is. trying out new positions is fun with him too, he'll have your legs bending in ways you never thought possible
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
he doesn't really like being too serious in the bedroom, hes almost too giggly sometimes. if he catches himself being all concentrated he'll slow down a little and smile at u n shiiiii but its also so hot when he's just really focused on making you feel good
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
has like no hair down there he shaves as soon as he feels stubble, he just prefers to be clean shaven
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
intimacy may as well be his middle name. he values the connection between you too so much and it's adorable. he's constantly checking in to make sure youre enjoying yourself while also praising you and planting soft kisses all over your body. sometimes you can tell he loses focus just from looking at you. he’ll tuck your hair behind your ear or gently caress your face, he treats you like royalty seriously
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
he doesnt jerk off that much but when he does he's usually thinking of you and definitely whimpers your name when he finishes. he's not much of a porn watcher, all he needs is a pic of you and 5 minutes
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
he's big on hair pulling for sure. like how can you see that mane and not immediately reach for it when hes 7 inches deep inside you. and it goes both ways you’ll catch him yanking on a fistful of your hair without even realizing it. oh yeah hes also into breeding!!!! blowing his load inside is his favorite activity!!!!!
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
basic bitch loves the bedroom. he just likes anywhere that feels the most intimate, sometimes thats your bed or sometimes it's in the shower and he can't keep his hands off you and suddenly you're bent over with your hands pressed against the foggy glass
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
dae ho might not have the highest sex drive but to him, you are his motivation. it drives him insane when you make the first move. he gets weak in the knees when you put your hands on him or whisper something scandalous in his ear when he least expects it, he’ll start matching your energy real quick
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
he’s open to almost anything but hes not really into bdsm or torture and shit like that. he doesnt mind receiving pain but inflicting it on you especially to that extent is a big no-no
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
he could bury his face in between your thighs for hours at a time call this man the headmaster the way he eats pussy like its his last meal, and hearing the sounds you make is only more motivating for him. also BIG on face sitting he cant get enough of it. if you're hesitant about it he'll literally hold your hips down to feel all of your weight on top of him. he prefers giving but he'll still go crazy over the feeling of your mouth wrapped around his dick, especially if you make eye contact while taking it omg he’ll finish in 3 seconds
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
he always caters to you. he starts off slow and sensual, but as you get worked up and start moaning louder he’ll pick up the pace until tears start to form and your legs are shaking. training in the marines paid off thats for sure!!!
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
he’s not really into quickies because he enjoys a more intimate experience and quickies leave him feeling needy. they're unnecessary to have often but when you do its usually just him pleasing you and hes perfectly fine with that; if you're ready to go then so is he
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
he will try almost anything as long as it's with you, but not without having a safeword in place of course. he has his boundaries and he would never forgive himself if he crossed yours
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
this man was a marine he can go for as long as your heart desires. if you're not satisfied then neither is he
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
i dont think he has any for his own personal use but he probably has a few toys for spicing things up when you're together. he’ll bust out his vibrating cock ring for funsies sometimes
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
hes not a huge tease but sometimes he’ll do it just to see you flustered. hes usually too clueless but he’ll whisper shit in your ear because he knows it makes you crumble. but not crazy on teasing cuz he just wants to please you, if anything HES the one getting teased
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
definitely a whimperer. hes usually not very vocal though so its a nice treat when he lets one slip. he's usually too busy talking you through it to make noise, but when hes bottoming though….. yeah not even a pillow is masking that shit
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
cant cum without a good makeout sesh. its his favorite type of foreplay cuz its so intimate and gets him in the mood instantly. sometimes you dont even get to fucking because hes just glued to your lips; he could probably finish from just making out alone
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
hes packing a good 6.5-7 inches with the perfect girth that stretches you out. also a pale shaft with a cute pink tip
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
hes not the super horny type but little things turn him on. like if youre super touchy with him he will fold instantly. if youre cuddling with him and you press your ass against him just to feel him get hard he’ll climb on top of you with almost no hesitation. hes so pathetic when hes needy too you can see it in his expression the way he craves you and only you UGHRHR
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
dae ho refuses to fall asleep before you, i think its impossible actually. your comfort is his biggest priority. he’ll usually snuggle up really close to you with his legs intertwined with yours and run his fingers through your hair, only dozing off when he notices your eyes finally close
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petitepatateuwu · 3 days ago
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Have some rants about my fav Sonic ships
Trust me when I say this is not what I intended to do for Valentine's day, but my access to the proper materials for my next big project is currently fairly limited, so instead have this (I didn't think I had so much to say I got a bit carried away 👉👈). This is heavy with aro/ace/aroace discourse because as an aroace myself I cannot help it, and huh, reminder that this is just for fun and everyone's opinions are accepted around here as long as it's respectful :3
Espilver is so wholesome I am willing to temporaly remove the aromantic label I put on both these guys. And when an aroace person is ready to drop this label for a ship you know it has to be good. (They're still both asexual idc tho)
I am prone to shipping Sonic with pretty much everyone (elligible for that at least) while thinking he's the biggest aroace mood ever (but I know I am not alone on that one)
Since I've started posting Sonic fanart, there has not been a SINGLE sonadow ship art, but I still really love this ship. Like it's mostly what got me into Sonic in the first place but I don't want to draw it (honestly I think my mind is just drawn to less popular things, I mean sonadow is already everywhere on my dashboard)
Because (except for espilver) my top ships are sonjet and surgamy, I'm basically shipping your two main hedgehogs who are sometimes implied to have feelings for eachother in a gay relationship with a green person with spiky hair and an attitude, and I thought it was funny because it was NOT on purpose xD
Speaking of sonjet I have like three different timelines existing in my mind with this, because I love the "they never dated but they are definitely exes now"/"they tried smt some time ago it didn't work out" narrative, but also the one where Sonic can be the perfect boyfriend and respond to Jet's needs and issues I imagined for him, and also the one where Jet is a total girlfailure of a man who tries to rizz up someone who has zero clue.
I have thought over and over about Blaze ships and my mind just blocks it. At first I thought it was just Silvaze because I was overprotective of my Silver's orientation (when I first saw it I thought "yeah he's aroace", and I'm not a fan of shipping a guy and a girl just because they interact with eachother and are close). But it's everything. Sonaze? I mean she blushed around him on several occasions, so what? I feel like she's just not used to social interaction. Blazamy? I see the fluff, I see the awesome lesbian couple (and I'm an Utena fan, I gotta love the pink/purple yuri), but it doesn't light up anything in me. Are they any other Blaze ships? Idk, but I can't see her with anyone romantically. Never has a character given me so much aroace vibes that the very forces of nature are preventing me to ship her.
Vectilla activates my brain chemistry like crazy. TF you mean the only "sega-approved" ship is between two grown ass people who are not even part of the main character group? And one is a single mother too? Like it's very simple but it's already a norm breaker in my opinion. Though usually a bunch of male characters have their own personally-crafted love interest, they fall in love for no reason and the love is immediately reciprocal because of course it is (*cough* looking at you ninjago). I think it also work because both Vector and Vanilla have their own things going on, and the romance is just a nice plus. And since Team Chaotix is already the peak of Sonic found family, it's also cool to think about the shenanigans with the children (aka Espio, Cream and Charmy). I am a strong Vectilla shipper and I will make you care about them >:)
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revolvinghell · 3 days ago
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oh good we're doing this.
What your favorite Will Wood song says about you!! and if i dont say yours feel free to let me know
Where do you get off?: either asexual or VERY horny, no in between.
The Song With Five Names: you REALLY like to confuse people when they ask about your favorite song. You also need some of that Old Time Religion.
Front Street: you probably watch the 2019 bbq videos on repeat. Also, drugs.
Chemical Overreaction: in the words of blake jennings: lsd is not a hobby. no, neither is screaming.
Mr Capgras: youre cool! but maybe work on those trust issues.
Blackboxwarrior OKULTRA: do you even understand half of this song?? Genuine question, I want to know.
Cotard's solution: lemme guess. You have unmanaged anger issues that you manage to suppress, until you have a bad day, and then the doorknob is enough to make you punch a hole through your wall. …same.
Vampire Reference: YOU ARE COOL. I am biased, but you are COOL.
2012: you probably lose yourself a lot. and say "fuck" a lot, that too.
2012 (again): you call this music.
Laplace's Angel: i have nothing to say. theres such a wide array of Laplace's Angel fans that it's impossible to pinpoint similarities.
I/Me/Myself: 💅
Aikido: you probably played this on valentines day. My only question is: why do you think this is an acceptable love song?
Bones: not a day goes by where this song isn't stuck in your head.
Destroy to Enjoy: anger issues, hating religion, did i miss anything? oh right. CONSTRUCTION SOUNDS
The First Step: admit you have a problem. will wood is not a coping mechanism either, by the way.
2econd 2ight 2eer: you quote this song every time you leave a room. STOP IT.
6up 5oh cop-out (pro/con): you hate police. but this song is about getting arrested for drunk driving.
You liked this (okay, computer!): this is a total shot in the dark, but you either hate the internet or want to be a cult leader.
Any 2018 demo: you like this more than the original song. And you're gayer.
Memento Mori: mm, how's that existential crisis going today? On schedule? Good? Okay. Go to therapy.
Red moon: …do you exist??
…And if I did, you deserved it: youre probably an artist of some kind.
Tomcat Disposables or Euthanasia: you could benefit from lexapro. Or any other antidepressant for that matter.
to be continued lol
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altraviolet · 3 days ago
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Give us some Mirage and/or Skywarp headcanon you have that hasn't made it into a fic yet. :3
ooohhh... a very indulgent ask! thank you! :D
I don't think I have any hc points that haven't made their way into fic yet, regarding them individually or together 🤔 I've always thought it made the most sense for their relationship to have started before the war, that Skywarp could see Mirage when Mirage is invisible, that if they activate their powers at the same time it causes physical harm, that their relationship suffers from lots of things (war, class issues, brain intrusions, etc) but it's characterized by a strong, unwavering, intense love. Mirage has a face made of something other than metal. Skywarp is an angry boy.
You see those points in most of my fics about them, give or take :D
I doooo haaaaaaaaave some info I can share about TEG Mirage/Skywarp, which wasn't delved into in TEG itself.
In TEG, Mirage says this:
"He [Skywarp] recognized the benefits to himself of pairing with me. Though he was not taken by firelove, it did not take him long to love me"
I know exactly when Skywarp felt safe enough to love Mirage :D
So going back to 2938 Cybertron, it's a society deeply divided by class. The upper class live in the underground caves and the lower class does the mining/labor and lives above ground. The class lines can generally be drawn across alt modes, with fliers preferring to be above ground for obvious reasons.
Mirage is, as based in his traditional characterization throughout the franchise, upper class. Skywarp is not.
The concept of firelove is known and understood throughout society. Firelove strikes regardless of class, so it's not unheard of that an upper class mech would fall for someone below their station, or vice versa. But it's also the case that lower class mechs could fake it - fake great and fawning love - for an upper class mech to improve their own status. AND it's the case that upper class mechs of particularly cruel tendencies do the opposite: pretend to love someone lower than them, so that when they reveal it was all a lie, they can laugh and lord over the pain they've caused.
Both of these 'false firelove' situations are well known in society. They're explored in stories/plays/general societal awareness, and they do sometimes actually happen.
So when Skywarp asks Mirage if he's taken by firelove, he's initially very pleased to hear that. He knows that being fiercely loved and wanted by someone with more money/resources means good things for himself.
But then he thinks about the cruelty of false firelove.
And he has a friend who was fooled by an upper class mech, who suffered very greatly emotionally.
So Skywarp has no idea if Mirage actually loves him or not until they get close enough to have physical relations. He's afraid to feel anything for Mirage. He goes along with courting, because hey, why not, but he's reticent to fall in love. As it goes along, though, well, it's hard not to. But he's afraid. Until things finally build up to Finding Out For Sure.
Since this is tumblr and it's also like 6am, I'll spare the details 😄 but there's a point in their style of interface (basically spike-valve) where the valve mech can dictate whether to complete a connection, or not. Refusing to complete the connection is a rejection of sharing yourself wholly with another - and also denies the other a great deal of pleasure. This is the place where an upper class mech reveals they do not have good intentions. It's instantly apparent that the firelove was a lie, and all the feelings and hope the other mech had are rejected cruelly and outright.
So when Mirage completes this connection and Skywarp is flooded with the overwhelming and whole love Mirage has for him, he knows it's the real deal, and he's not afraid to fall in love with him.
I think this would make for a good and entertaining fic. I'm not opposed to writing it someday, but it needs some framework around that central question [is the firelove real?], and I don't have the brain for it at the moment. But I always have this tidbit hanging around the back of my head.
thanks for the ask! 💙💜
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moontheoretist · 1 day ago
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What's the most interesting is that it's the most visible in extended media that are considered part of Legends. The wider the world of the Star Wars becomes the less Jedi's idea of Balance in the Force makes sense, because it becomes very clear that what they say is biased.
For example: in MMORPG game SWTOR you can play as a Sith. You can actively pursue the Light Side and game will even acknowledge your efforts in your class storyline (Sith Inquisitor gets named Darth Imperius when LS, and Darth Occluss when neutral, while Sith Warrior gets a scene where they meet evil version of themselves and can just choose to oppose the Dark Side) while at the same time having a side storyline about how you the Sith can change the Empire from within, but how it isn't easy because there are many Siths who would oppose you and even try to kill you or consider you a traitor for pursuing that.
The funny part tho is that this thing about being killed for your light side alignment or your neutrality is quickly undermined by the fact that even Dark Council themselves doesn't care about your alignment and in Inquisitor's case even gives you a sit among them NO MATTER what title you are given. In their head your LS alignment means that you prioritise the wellbeing of the Empire while DS alignment means that you prioritise your own selfish agendas above the Empire's needs.
What's more, even the Sith Code written by David Gaider for this very game doesn't reflect any of the ideas associated with the Sith like the willingness to commit manslaughter for fun or revel in the suffering of others. If anything Gaider has failed at writing a Sith Code that would imply that despite saying that he was basing it on Mein Kampf, as his Sith Code reads more as freedom manifesto of slaves than the racial whitesupremacist ideology of "supreme Aryan race" from Mein Kampf.
Check:
"I have feelings (which are bad I guess)"
"please spare me this “all Sith are evil and self-serving and only care about themselves” nonsense"
The conclusion is that as long as you don't superimpose the desire to go around and kill everyone in your way on your Sith life as many but not all Siths do, you don't have to be evil by default if you are a Sith.
You can be the nicest, most generous and loving Sith in the Galaxy while at the same time never stray from the Sith Code as it's written.
Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me.
You need passion to have the motivation (strenght) to fight with your oppressors. And via that passion and spreading the knowledge of your movement you gain political power. If you amass enough of it you can gain victory (i.e. rights) and it's when your servitute ends. You're free.
See? The Code can be interpreted in such a way too.
Tha main issue within a Star Wars World in regard to the Force, how it's seen and how choosing the side affects the people and the way in which they're seen is ultimately George's Lucas view of the Dark Side as Cancer. He already designated Dark Side as the thing that needs to be chopped off. He never considered that he could have made Light Side representative of Life and Dark Side as the one that represents Death, therefore both of them create balance, because Life can't exist without Death. Whenever there is a massive fire, there is later a fertile soil for the new plants to grow. Circle of Life etc. I know what was his intention. He wanted DS to represent fascism and show us all that DS and Sith by extension need to be removed for us to never again repeat the cycle of fascism (as it happens now in real life), but what he ended up with is bunch of elitist evangelicals preaching that their religion is the only right one and if you oppose their views you are simply evil.
It's a no brainer that any minority would find a fault with that.
“plagueis saw qimir and osha so that means he’s gonna kill them!!1” first off, not all sith believe in or follow rule of two, just like not every witch believe in threefold law. second, out of any sith you could learn from, plagueis may be one of the most legitimately chill of them. he doesn’t care about galactic dominance or whatever, he just believes in sith beliefs & wants to exist his way and do his cool force experiments. nothing’s set in stone, stop acting like anybody who disagrees with the jedi is doomed for suffering for daring to not agree with the jedi’s holy worldview. it was old and tired then and it’s straight up mold now. just stop.
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theriverbeyond · 11 days ago
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i feel like in the cosplay community everyone is always working on a New Project. but idk. i like my cosplays. i don't have any desire to dress up as anyone but the characters I already have cosplays for. what if i don't have a new project. what if i don't want one.
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hana-bobo-finch · 7 days ago
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spent the evening drawing a little something to commemorate my first time playing hollow knight
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just entered greenpath and I LOVE the ambiance of it, i really couldn’t do it justice here
#art#hollow knight#I really can’t draw waterfalls alaaaas oh well#they just look like Big Blobs I’m gonna. explode if I keep thinking about it I’m too tired to fix em#for those absolutely DYING to know my thoughts on it so far—#it is SO fun but in all honesty I do not know what I’m doing at any given time#I think I’m slightly getting the hang of it?? but I definitely did more wandering around than actual plot progression#speaking of which I’m completely lost on the plot and lore. it’ll be explained more later on I’m positive but for now? no idea#don’t know who these people are or why they’re here or what’s going on but#yknow. I like it so far!#I am also very bad at it so far!! I’ve lost an embarrassing amount of times because I got knocked into spike pits#I think that rest areas being benches is so whimsical. nothing special just. a bench. love that#I was gonna draw the bench but then I remembered I can’t draw seats of any kind so. standing up it is#the only thing I can really say as a negative right now is there aren’t many fleshed out characters so far#oh I’m 100% sure that’s going to change so it’s not a complaint#but as someone who mostly gravitates towards the characters in games? right now it feels very lonely. sad#I like the map guy. cornifer I think his name is#I can’t get his name right for the life of me. so far I’ve called him corn cornfield and confield#also his wife. she seems so depressed I think she needs someone to talk to#or a bigger doorframe#and that little miner thing? what’s her name? I want to say it starts with M#she was adorable. the children yearn for the mines#but yeah overall I crave more characters…..I’ll have to actually play through the game more for that won’t I#only other issue is that. fun fact. did you know dyscalculia can affect one’s sense of direction and reading maps#in other words I spent most of my time playing the game being confused and lost because where the hell am I#but that’s a me problem lmao#overall. good game so far mhm 👍 I can’t say I know what any of it is actually about but yeah I like it#goes without saying but. please don’t spoil anything for me!!!auhghhh
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waywardsalt · 8 months ago
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bc its been bouncing around in my head i think another little tiny grievance i had with totk is that i got to the end and just felt a sense of ‘well what the hell was that all for then’
#salty talks#like. ok. look at me. do you ever think abt how link loses an arm but absolutely nothing comes of it#it was basically just an excuse to give him powers and there was nothing actually done with yknow#him losing an arm. or how the light dragon thing didnt really have any long lasting consequences#and generally like. i had to think for a moment to remember why the hell she did that#what was her purpose in the past again???? what did she accomplish actually??? oh right the fucking sword#its like. i get to the end and like nothing has changed it all resets to zero it barely even feels lile a change#woth the other races pledging loyalty like the past (gags) bc barely anything abt hyrule changed between those two times#mineru leaves. she was a lot of wasted potential. nothing CHANGED it all just reset back to the status quo#no one learned anything i feel nothing new or interesting just oh hyrule is good :) it all feels so hollow#like you go on this big adventure and then at the end you dust yourself off and go back to doing basically#exactly what you were doing before that all happened like nothing happened. thats how it felt. what was the point#yeah sure new zonai stuff but that never sinks in its not important to the main narrative so it feels like nothing#it just. felt like there was no real point to the adventure except to affirm that yeah the past was perfect keep doing that#while none of the characters actions really have any lasting weight to them and they barely feel involved#i need to stop i can feel myself wanting to keep going lol. link losing his arm but the game not at all engaging with it is frustrating#totk salt#like to me it’s an issue bc its a long game with a lot to do but when you reach the end it just rings so fucking hollow#the main story/narrative equivalent to all those fucking collection items where the prize is a useless fucking token
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runningatypufullspeed · 11 months ago
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WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE TO SEE MY FUGLY UGLY ASS ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE X FAHRENHEIT 451 CROSSOVER DRAWING THAT I WAS FORCED TO DO FOR SCHOOL….. ITS SO UGLY AND MONTAG IS
WHITE.
AND THE HOUNDS ARE DISGUSTING THE COLORING IS SO SHITTY AND MILDRED …. Well ok she looks alright kindof but the COLORING ….. SKETCH WAS BETTER but do you guys. Do you still want to see it…….,,,,,,
ALSO NO OFFENSE TO WHITE PEOPLE PLEASE I LOVE YOU GUYS 🫶😁👍 within reason
#like ok maybe it isn’t. THAT bad#NO NO I TAKE THAT BACK I JUST LOOKED AT IT RIGHT NOW AND THE COMPOSITION IS ALL FUCKING VOER THE PLACE#IT. IT IS. THAT BAD#IF YOU GUYS SAY YESS YOULL SEE#ok but nasty bad art aside I know some of you will be asking why white Montag is such a bad thing and#there isn’t anything wrong with it!!! it’s just that for me personally#after I did a bit more thinking I was. physically incapable of perceiving Montag as anything other than POC/nonwhite#so when I look back at my old f451 art and stare into the eyes of a pale skittish twink it just#it doesn’t click. like that isn’t MY Montag if ykwim#now trembling BROWN skittish twink. that’s a different story#AGAIN I DONT have any issues with ppl making their own versions white I just think that . for me specifically. he looked a bit funny#a little off. a bit too crackerish for my liking#where is bros melanin 😭#I’m complaining right now but if I wanted to I could just… go in and try and make the skin tone darker#I might do that depending on how tired I feel after doomscrolling#also if it matters even though I have read the book over at least 8 times now not once have I touched either of the movies.#and it will STAY THAT WAY. until I completely log my notes for the book#then I can move on to the movies 🥰#but I will admit 2018 did sort of lead me to having a change of heart w my design. just a little. just a teensy bit. kinda. sort of?#actually not really now that I think about it#I have my own reasons.#TOO MANY WHITE PEOPLE MY EYES THEY BURN AAAYHHHHH MY EYES OW OW OW OWIEEEE#my Beatty design was so white that my eyes developed stage 4 cataracts#I needed a palate cleanser that WASNT Millie… oh god my Millie design…#she was white there too. terrible#it’s okay… 💔 I’ve since learned and moved on#ARGH GUYS I DONT HATE WHITE PEOPLE I JUST THINK THAT MORE SKIN COLOR VARIATIONS WOULD E NICE
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powerfulkicks · 7 months ago
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every political post i see on here is just so draining everyone is so hateful to each other even if they agree its like i dont think this is helping improve the world
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 1 year ago
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How to explain that going to church makes me hurt and angry, but not going to church makes me sad and depressed.
#I need to go to Mass. I need to get over the anxiety mental block and just go.#blue chatter#it’s just. I’ve only gone a couple times this semester and every time has left me feeling more empty and hurt than when I walked in#and I know Mass is more than just how you feel. and that it matters that I am there where God calls me to be#I know.#I wish nobody there knew me so they wouldn’t be so worried and ask questions about where I’ve been#it’s like. I cannot possibly explain to my church friends why I haven’t been showing up.#it’s not even scrupulosity anymore it’s just. I can’t be here. I don’t belong here.#and the new priest is trying *so hard*. I’ve been honest with him about how I’m struggling.#but it’s just. there’s something missing. he wants to include the congregation but fundamentally doesn’t understand what that means.#���everyone is welcome. No I will not make an effort to include marginalized people. they’re welcome bc they can Walk In The Door.’#and I know it’s not that the church has changed#if anything I’d be having the same issues with the old priest. I’m the one who’s changed.#but instead of spending my Sundays with God I’m just. melting into a puddle of Sad. and that’s not good for my faith life.#I need to do *something*. I just. any time I think of trying a new church i feel exhausted.#God please help me.#I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want to be alone and miserable and losing touch with my faith
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allisonreader · 1 year ago
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My heart hurts. Not physically, but emotionally. I don't like the news, I tend to avoid actively searching it out, for that exact reason. I ache because as people we just can't seem to get along. Learn to compromise and fully try to understand the other side. It's exhausting to understand why people are against certain things, even when it's the opposite of what I personally believe in.
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toastspirit · 11 days ago
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man the little mental categories I have for “this is a universal human experience” and “this is something Specific” are. incredibly wrong sometimes. and it’s not even that I’ve just assumed a lot of specific things are universal, or vice versa, but it goes in both directions!!! and I don’t realize something I learned was wrong unless I actively think about it/am presented with additional information to change my perspective!!! This sucks!!!!!
#I know that this is normal to an extent but#there are some things that I thought were Fine that Really Aren’t!!!!#like I thought that throwing up blood was Not That Bad because I did it multiple times as a kid#so it just registered as normal to me!!!#and I didn’t talk to people about it so how was I supposed to learn that that’s usually a sign of more serious concern???#also I do actively want to Know Correct Things which is why this bothers me#and it’s also embarassing sometimes ;m;#and I’ve written them off as headaches because they’re always called headaches#but my head pain?? might actually be migraines????#because I commonly suffer from a lot of migraine symptoms..#but I just wrote it off as Normal Headache Symptoms being exaggerated#but I have gotten constant headaches for years#with varying levels of pain#(I’ve had multiple that were so bad that looking at any light made me feel horribly nauseous)#and also other stuff#BUT I DIDNT GIVE THIS ACTIVE CONSIDERATION UNTIL I CEMENTED MYSELF AS A HEADACHE SUFFERER#WHICH DOESNT REGISTER THE SAME WAY AS A PERSON WITH GETS MIGRAINES#it’s so stupid and I should probably tell a doctor about this but oh my god#it’s kind of funny because of being hashtag queer but I have like#a thing with labels#where I’m scared to outright identify with one if I don’t think about it for a very extended period#(as in I won’t mention it because I’m spending years making sure that I’m certain)#which is dumb because A: my identity has never really felt static#and B: I have zero issue with people trying out new labels and discarding them or using a bunch of them etc etc#it is ONLY a hang up when it’s myself#oh yeah it’s because I feel like I need external validation to do Basically Everything#I’m working on it#in several little ways#I’m trying to be better I’m not just!#venting about a situation I can change without actually doing anything to help myself! ;w;
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leftoversludge · 2 months ago
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DEVASTATING: teen discovers their problems are shared by millions, yet the horrors persist
#it's me#i'm the teen#i have to stop mentally diagnosing myself and everyone around me with ocd i wish i never even heard of it dude it's bad#but yk it's cool 🤪 it's whatever 😜 it's groovy 😋#but like do you ever have that moment where you're like everything sucks and it's all my fault and i've made everything so much worse throug#h my inaction?? bc apparently fixating on the death of myself and others isn't just a me thingggg and everybody worries the world is going#collapse in on itself at any moment#i recognize my issues are all mental and i know they're silly and stupid so like why is it still there??? why can't i stop dwelling????#i also feel like i'm making bigger issues for myself by faking thoughts and idk how to explain this bc i know it's sounds crazy but i keep#forcing thoughts and making myself think about it for a solid moment before letting myself replace it with literally anything else or#disctracting myself with television and writing and social media#and i keep over analyzing every thought i have and everything other people say to me and dissect through the lense of what ive read about#ocd on official looking cites and i feel rude and wrong and disrespectful because of it and i just want to be present but the whole time im#having to think about how i am being present#and i think this problem could be solved if i just made friends and hung out with them or whatever but i feel like ive either missed that#boat or that everybody's already busy and doesn't want to talk to me and all of my friends actually have other friends that they primarily#talk to like i'm on everyone's back burner which is fine they should worry about their own shit but it's like i want to be someone's primary#friend#and in actuality what i really need to do is to stop thinking and this can only be done if someone were to give me a horse tranquilizer but#everyone thinks i'm joking when i say i want to be sedated#they're just “haha yea anxiety sucks” and i'm quivering and shaking like a freshly born lamb bc i cannot stand the state of the kitchen#knock me over the head with a 2x4 please please omigod please#but it's fine it's actually so cool and as long as i keep saying it's groovy everything will keep turning up roses so it's fine#god i need to get over myself#someone please tell me exactly how like step by step and preferably a free option as having to spend my mothers money gives me a panic attac#k#thank you 😘
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strohller27 · 2 months ago
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#Today the boss decided to change out the sale table in the middle of the day without any warning whatsoever#then she jumped down my throat about my attitude when I expressed my surprise by saying ‘right now? where are we going to put it all?’#(for context: we have a tiny back room. I have been trying to bend the laws of physics for months to get the overstock to fit in it)#to me it was a non-issue. I was going to carry out whatever she wanted anyway because. she’s the boss.#like I’m just the peon. what the fuck am I gonna do? Say no??#but I’m apparently ‘always questioning her’ and I ‘think I can do it better than her’ and#she’s ‘been in the business longer than I’ve been alive’ (false)#she was literally lecturing me like I was some child that needed scolding. and I couldn’t leave the back room to go do what she asked#because she was blocking the way. because our back room is TINY.#I took a second to cool off after it happened and waited for the store to empty out before apologising#like I actually tried to say ‘I’m sorry it wasn’t my intention to question your efficacy as a businesswoman’#but she just kept cutting me off every time I tried to get through the apology. wouldn’t even accept or acknowledge the apology#just ‘NOPE. NO. IT’S OVER. IT’S DONE. NO HARD FEELINGS. NO GRUDGES’#oh??? no grudges??? sure sounds like she’s been holding a grudge against me for saying anything that she feels is questioning her authority#apparently this has 'been a problem for a while' but she's been 'letting it slide'#like. um. Maybe? she should have taken me aside and. talked to me about it? LIKE AN ADULT??#Before letting it get so bad that she blows up in my face about it??#like she was actually *yelling* at me in that back room.#this kind of blowup doesn’t just happen to people who let shit roll off their back like water off a duck#how the fuck can I trust that she isn’t just harbouring some other grudge that’s going to blow up in my face randomly without warning now??#you want attitude hon? you don’t even know what attitude is#if I’m gonna be vilified for being surprised and having opinions then I’m just gonna start acting like a fucking cartoon henchman at work#I mean. I’m not paid enough to think. so I’ll just let her make al’ the decisions. even the little ones.#WHADDA YOU WANT ME TA DO BOSS?#I DUNNO BOSS WHADDA YOU TINK I SHUD DO?#WHATEVA YOU SAY BOSS#HEY BOSS CAN I GO PEE NOW BOSS#WHERE DO I GO PEE BOSS?#no fucken grudges huh?#thanks for the new grudge boss. I'll be keeping this one for a loooonnnnng time
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arolesbianism · 3 months ago
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Ive been playing the longing and I was planning on staying in the caves and waiting it out even after realizing that escape might be an option but then I walked into the darkness for the first time and. Nevermind I'm getting the shade out no matter how many stupid puzzles that are super obvious but I'm not observant enough to figure out until I've spent far too long wandering through the kingdom with a mushroom trying to figure out where to plant it I'm forced to face
#rat rambles#its a pretty good game so far Im rly enjoying it#I appreciate its vision a lot I enjoy the commitment to the bit#I also like the shade theyve been growing on me hard#poor sad wet cat who has mad daddy issues#also I enjoyed finding out they will still work through a book if you close the game while having one open and having auto flip on#I sat them down to read moby dick and went to bed and woke up the next day with a week of in game time having passed and the book finished#enriched and in their element#this is the first game Ive played in a while where I dont rly have any major spoilers so Ive been enjoying furthering quests more#Immm not exactly sure what to do to get past the eyes in the dark but I think I have an idea#I know I need to not be seen so Im thinking maybe I can idle until the shade falls asleep or smth?#I also need to try out the other option on the multichoice thought box you get when you idle#I usually choose the wait and see option because I was scared of making them feel worse#but now I want to get them to the surface if I can so I should see if that changes anything#note: I am idling in the darkness as I type this post this is entirely to kill time#if anyone in the crowd knows abt this game dont spoil anything Im enjoying my relatively spoiler free experience#but yeah Ive mostly just been trying to finish their checklist of wants and Ive done pretty well so far I think#Ive gotten all the crystals and all the colors and even made all their lice pictures in the different colors#I havent gotten their bed yet but I'm close I just need one more wood and a few more bits of moss#I still need to hunt in the hall of eternity a bit more in case theres more books or furniture there but I assume I got most of it?#oh hey dialogue time#OHHHH..... OHHHHHHH....#ok so maybe Im a lil stupid#but also I 100% had the right idea with idling in the dark#oh god damnit they opened their eyes again while I was typing#ok back to being idle then I guess.#god damnit that took so fucking long#oh well. at least that new dialogue was fun.#its also reassuring. Im glad they can have a goal like this.
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