#i have an enormous headcanon he was raped

[itsdrawingmen]

Rokas by JUUK

I am up thinking about Zen's hands...

[maxdibert]

Everything you’re saying is nothing but assumptions and headcanons. You accuse Severus of going around using Dark Magic on people, and I’m telling you that when Lily confronts him, she doesn’t mention him using it—she mentions Mulciber. That Severus had an interest in Dark Magic and developed DEFENSIVE spells because he was an abused child is another matter entirely. Stop making up nonsense because no one buys into your cheap hater rhetoric.

James starts the fight, and Severus defends himself. If someone slaps me, I have every right to punch them back because they provoked me. Sorry if you don’t understand how things work, but the person who attacks first is the one at fault. You keep victim-blaming over and over again, and you’re worse than one of those guys who, in the face of a rape case, says, “Well, she must have done something to deserve it.” You’re spouting the same rhetoric as those people—it’s disgusting.

No, Remus and Sirius never said James kept attacking Snape because he was afraid Snape might retaliate. What nonsense are you even talking about? Seriously, stop smoking hallucinogens.

Lily didn’t cut ties with him solely because of that incident. It’s obvious their relationship had already been falling apart before that, and they had been drifting apart for a while. It’s clear Lily had distanced herself from him more and more due to the company he kept and the incompatibility with her own circle of friends. That moment was simply the breaking point. And it’s not the same to get along with a Gryffindor Muggle-born as it is to openly confront an entire house, as you’re suggesting, and ACTIVELY RENOUNCE that house’s ideology when you have to sleep in the same dorm as those people. As I said, you must be incredibly privileged to think that someone without social, economic, or familial support has the freedom to stand up to a majority that not only outnumbers them but also wields enormous social influence. I don’t know what world you live in, but it’s clear you’ve never opened a book on class dynamics in your life. You sound like some neoliberal capitalist idiot spouting the “if you try hard enough, you can” narrative. Don’t come at me with that garbage when I’ve been a Marxist activist since I was 15 and have been working with at-risk populations since I graduated.

If Severus were a girl and a guy hung her upside down, exposing her underwear in front of the whole school, would you still have the audacity to say it’s not sexual assault? Leave your disgusting double standards at the door. James humiliated him in front of the entire school because Sirius was bored and wanted some fun. It was two against one. And the fact that the spell was Severus’s means nothing—what, are you serious? If I carry a knife to protect myself from being raped, and the rapist takes it and holds it to my throat, is it my fault that I was assaulted? Do you understand how problematic your comments are when applied to real-life situations? If you genuinely think like this, you’re terrifying, and I hope you never have to work with children or teenagers because you’re incredibly irresponsible.

Many Slytherins could afford to remain neutral because their families were powerful, socially and economically, and no one would touch them. Severus wasn’t a Nott. Severus wasn’t a Greengrass. Severus was a working-class half-blood with no familial, economic, or social support, which made him easy prey—both for being indoctrinated into a cult and for being targeted by a couple of rich bullies.

You’re defending a rich, upper-class kid with no reason or trauma to justify his sociopathic and violent behavior, while demonizing a working-class child from a highly dysfunctional family environment who had no resources whatsoever. Maybe take a hard look at your disgusting classism and your bootlicking attitude toward elites—we’re in the 21st century. You’re like a typical worker who’s always sucking up to his boss. It’s revolting.

No James wasn’t the devil and snape wasn’t his innocent victim.

Lately I’ve seen Snape Stans insisting that snape only became a death eater because of James or Sirius or his father or anyone else they want to blame, and that snape was innocent before hogwarts and innocent in all of his choices. It’s clear in the books that this is not the case. In the flashback scenes which take place before hogwarts, snape intentionally attacks a muggle with magic and makes it clear to lily that he sees her as an exception to blood purity and other muggleborns because she’s different. When lily asks him if her blood status matters he hesitates before saying it doesn’t matter, this is because it does matter to him but he thinks that she is special enough anyway. Not to mention that snape began using slurs against muggleborns before saying it to lily in fifth year, which she reveals she knew about when he tried to apologise for it.

Snape also already knew more dark magic than most adults as an incoming first year, which is listed as one of the reasons that snape was so hated by James, as Sirius and Remus say that James was always against dark magic and blood purity. Snape was using dark magic as a student early on, lily mentions he and his friends using dark magic - even against another student which snape says was just a “joke”.

I cannot find it reasonable to hate James for hating snape when snape was using dark magic and slurs on other students and clearly well on the way to being a death eater even in the early years. James learnt he took things too far as he grew up and began to avoid snape not wanting to provoke a fight, and snape would seek him out to attack him causing James to defend himself (ootp). This is not the actions of an innocent boy and his devilish bully this is a rivalry with the tensions of the war looming over them.

Also, the idea that snape was abused by his muggle father, and therefore it’s somehow okay that he became a death eater, is essentially a headcanon and a weird one. The only mention of his parents in the books is that they argue with each other and that his father is a generally miserable person- but not abusive. The idea of snape being whipped by his father came from a website, not the books or the movies or even written by jkr herself - it is therefore not canon. It is also so weird for people to try and justify snape becoming the equivalent of a Nazi because his father abused him and he happened to be a muggle, when snape grew up in a muggle neighbourhood and would have had many other experiences with muggles that were not abusive. It’s just nonsense.

Furthermore, trying to justify snape being a death eater by saying he had no other choice because he was a slytherin is again nonsense. Not every slytherin became a death eater and most people were not involved in the war based on the size of the order of the phoenix and the original named death eaters. Snape was not forced to be a death eater simply by proximity, he could have chosen to remain close to lily or other people who were not involved in the war- but he did not. He chose to be a death eater for the power and freedom to use dark magic, and because he was a blood purist as a younger man even if he grew out of it later in life.

Overall, it’s just not true to claim that the actions of James or anyone else are the reason snape “turned out” the way he did. The rivalry with James did not make snape turn out how he did because he was already like that before he even met James.

Snape is a very grey character, in my opinion more dark than light, and trying to justify his terrible behaviour by blaming everyone else takes away from the depth of his character and is also just not accurate to the canon.

[alienheartattack]

Fanfiction Masterpost

Note: I have pivoted to original works and I am no longer writing Rivamika.

Writing Archives

The complete and up-to-date list of ALL of my Rivamika fanfiction

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#alienheartattack writes tag

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Most Recent Writing

Introduction to Demonology - Unhinged demon!Levi porn where he bangs the grief out of Mikasa. (Canonverse or any AU, rated E, explicit sexual content that is also extremely batshit)

Midnight Run - Mikasa can’t sleep, so she goes running. Now Levi can’t sleep. (Canonverse fluff, set during the time Eren is undercover in Liberio.)

A Nameless Love - The Ackermans can’t agree on a name for their newborn daughter. (Post-canon cottagecore fluff.)

These Violent Delights - Levi and Mikasa kill for a living and bicker like their lives depend on it. After she bets him something very precious that he’ll never kill his nemesis, Levi returns to headquarters to collect his prize. (Assassin AU, rated E, CW for explicit sexual content and gun violence.)

To All Of Us, From 2000 Years Ago - My version of the ending of Attack on Titan starting from the end of chapter 138. No shipping in this one! (Canonverse, rated T, CW for violence and references to rape.)

The Other Agent Ackerman - Mikasa, an up-and-coming agent at the Bureau of Intelligence, has an enormous crush on the top spy at her agency. When she's paired with him on her latest mission, she finds out a lot more about the other Agent Ackerman than she bargained for. (Spy AU, rated E, CW for explicit sexual content, BDSM, and violence.)

Sweet Revenge - Levi and Mikasa have a feud at the school bake sale and decide to get revenge on their PTA nemesis. (Inexorable AU, rated E, CW for pregnancy and explicit sexual content.)

[bigskydreaming]

Tbh, I’m heavily biased on the Dick Grayson relationship front cuz of personal projection issues and the fact that he’s most notably known for two relationships in specific, both of which were ended by writers being Just The Best in handling extremely delicate topics with all the grace of a bulldozer possessed by hostile poltergeists. 

And add in the ways that the end of these relationships - coupled with DC’s utter refusal to acknowledge the actual content of their own stories - have affected his reputation both in universe and among fans for literal decades now, with him catching enormous flack for stuff he didn’t actually do and with literally no instances of him being supported by other characters in the aftermath of either break-up when they both coincided with his rapes but people were too busy holding him responsible for the end of said break-ups to be like ‘so how you doing with all this’....

Like, just saying, I will freely advertise that I’m supes biased on this particular angle and I’m always gonna be of the opinion that like, hasn’t he gotten enough shit for his relationships and I’d love to see other characters defensive/protective of him in these contexts for a change.

This also of course ties into how I’m so tired of ‘let’s just have people find out about Dick’s rapes without any thought paid to whether or not he WANTS to disclose to them all so we can have Jason or others go on a bloodfest spree and have an excuse to kill Tarantula and Mirage and say see, all better now.’ And I’m always like okay but because DC refused to acknowledge either situation as rape, the thing that actually had FAR greater narrative consequences and screentime was other characters blaming Dick for stuff he literally didn’t do and failing to be a support system for him when he most needed it, and personally I just think THAT deserves just as much scrutiny and awareness as the rapes themselves, and like....confrontation with his Titans teammates and other characters so he can actually air how THAT hurt him, specifically.

Like, I often think about how often Dick goes long stretches of time without dating at all, ever since his relationships with Babs and Kory, and I just headcanon that most other characters just assume that’s because he’s still hung up on one or the other and hoping to get back together with them eventually and that’s why he doesn’t date that much elsewise.....but meanwhile, if anyone ever bothered to ask Dick about this, they might instead find out that he’s like.....nah, I still love both of them, but I was massively hurt by both those break-ups and how almost everyone else in my life also turned on me in the aftermath of them and I was blamed for stuff that took me years to figure out for myself I wasn’t actually responsible for. And given that this happened with like, my last two major relationships, I’m just not in a hurry to risk history repeating itself a third time, as seems to be my luck.

Anyway, just random musings on Dick + relationships and how for as much as I am a DickKory shipper because Nostalgia for when they were good, I’m really not that bothered by him being single most of the time because at least its safer for him that way, lol.

[medusinestories]

Black Sails, IV (S1, ep 04)

- Silver's horrified face when he finds out he's going to have to roast pigs is a Journey, starting with shock, then fake smiling, and then this horrified shuddery expression. It's just as interesting when they drop the dead pig at his feet and he clearly doesn't know what to do with it and also finds it disgusting. I can absolutely see where all the Jewish John Silver headcanons come from, especially since it's unlikely that a London urchin has never seen a dead pig and raw meat in general before.

- Here we have the first performance of Cassandra DeGroot: he knows that the bay they'd chosen to do the careening was too dangerous, and warns the crew. He's immediately countered by Flint, who has much more persuasive arguments to get the careening done fast but in a risky manner. (this whole thing reminds me of our current COVID/climate situation, where scientists get talked over by politicians, and people prefer listening to the latter because they seem to offer much better prospects than the “catastrophist” former)

- In this episode Billy is now quartermaster and he shows himself to actually be really good at disciplining the crew, something Gates, DeGroot and even Flint recognise. However, he also agreed to do the careening only because he's afraid to say no to Flint and allowed the men to have a fuck tent, which he feared would distract them - and it did, the two men who placed the rope on the wrong tree decided not to follow his orders and go fuck instead. This all weighs on him enormously after the disaster with Randall and Morley, who accuses him minutes before his death of already being in Flint's pocket. It's pretty clear that more responsibility doesn't do Billy's mental state any good.

- Morley's story about the Maria Aleyne gives some idea of a timeline, albeit a faint one. The incident took place "a number of years back", before Billy joined. This means that Billy is a somewhat new addition to the crew. We know that Randall was bosun when Billy joined. This also establishes that Lord Hamilton has been dead for several years, which now begs the question: who is the Lord Proprietor that Richard Guthrie is now in touch with? Did Thomas have a younger brother who inherited the Bahamas? Was someone new appointed? Was there a gap between Proprietors that allowed the pirates to establish themselves even more after Lord Alfred's death?

- I just adore the fact that Miranda actually went to stinking, violent Nassau because she was just too impatient to wait at home and wanted to be there when the Walrus came in and immediately hear the news of Lord Alfred's death. She is that vengeful and angry and I love her <3

- Speaking of which, this episode gives us the Passive-Agressive Sex Scene which makes so many people doubt of Flint's attraction to Miranda. Just look at Flint’s face: this man isn't uncomfortable or sad he is PISSED. He plays starfish and glares at Miranda all through it (while maintaining an erection all the same!). Miranda must be hella frustrated (or determined) because she manages to get off in spite of all of this (also, how uncommon is it for a sex scene to end when the woman climaxes rather than the man?) It's only when it ends that both Flint and Miranda are both shown as vulnerable and sad and reflective, with Flint reaching up to touch her but not quite getting there - imo because he's still angry but knows that she (and he) needs comfort.

- This leads into the argument over Meditations, and Miranda explicitly talking about Thomas and not wanting to forget him. The book hasn't been touched in a long time, confirming the idea that Miranda shared it with Richard Guthrie because Flint refuses to touch it. Her grief, her loneliness, are incredibly poignant in this scene, and we see Flint shift from bristling and stonily glaring at her, to absolutely melting (Toby's facial expression shifts here are just *chef's kiss*) and finally being gentle and tender with her. However, even though he promises to make things better, Miranda clearly doesn't believe him anymore.

- This brings in a big theme in the episode: betrayal from people you care for/trust. Mr Scott asks Eleanor not to do anything rash in order to get the Andromache’s guns, only to discover her Plan B: to kill Bryson if he didn't comply. In the meantime, Richard Guthrie tells (a very sceptical) Miranda that he can only support Eleanor and Flint, because he pretty much has no choice in the matter. He then proceeds to betray his daughter by making a deal with Bryson and with Mr Scott, who’s still smarting from Eleanor’s betrayal and who Guthrie tries to convince by saying that Eleanor's endeavour will lead to her death and Nassau’s destruction (considering what we later find out about Mr Scott, Eleanor’s safety is probably not be the argument that actually compels Mr Scott - but he certainly doesn't want the Navy searching the area and finding Maroon Island, and needs a stable Nassau to continue supplying his island).

- The Undercooked Pig scene and Silver's attempts at communicating with Flint will never not be funny. Silver looks so small when Flint glares him down, but that doesn't last all that long: once Flint has taught him how to cook the pork, Silver seems much more bold, asking Flint how he learned to glaze the pig, insisting that Flint should trust him and not Billy. This is also a moment where Silver shows that, unlike Flint, he is incredibly perceptive: he noticed that Billy is "straining at the seams" because of the lie he told. And while Flint spits a "there is no we" and calls Silver a rodent, it's obvious that Silver's words still have an impact on him. Their collaboration is sealed when Silver hands him the cleaver so that he can save Randall (and himself). When Flint returns the cleaver to Silver, he's ready to accept that Silver is actually on his side (albeit for selfish reasons) and listens to him for the first time.

- Max believed that she could charm Vane's remaining crew into being kind to her - and overall it seems to have worked. While again I hate this plot, it does give an interesting insight into how even the worst pirate crew is portrayed: most of the men are happy to comply with Max and get sexual rewards "for gentle obedience". Most of them, basically, aren't violent monsters deep down. However there's always one, in this case That Big Bastard (I'm sure he has a name, I just can't be bothered to google it), who clearly gets a kick out of torturing/raping people and hates the idea of a woman taking the lead.

- Fuck You Jack is another theme of this episode. Vane is high on opium and booze and has basically lost the will to do anything. Anne has been courted by several other crews, but Jack hasn't received any offers (note there's no loyalty to Vane here, Jack’s ready to leave, but nobody will have him) and nobody is willing to help him after the pearl cock-up. Then Noonan wants Max back, which Jack refuses because she's the only thing keeping the few members of his crew loyal - and Anne isn't on board with that, leading to her telling him to fuck himself. This, btw, might have crossed Jack’s mind considering the position she was in when he found her. I think it’s easy to forget that Jack is portrayed as pretty callous and happily willing to treat people like pawns too.

- When Richard Guthrie talks about Nassau, he describes it as a place "a place where she [Eleanor] matters, a place where you [Mr Scott] matter", and adds that a place like this isn't meant to last. Nassau, then, is currently an utopia where women and black people can have some semblance of power - and he doesn't believe that this will ever be allowed to exist because this kind of story never has a happy ending in their current society. But when Flint talks to Eleanor about their project, he's of the opposite view: people don't believe that it's possible, but when they succeed, they'll say it was inevitable. It seems Flint is firmly in the camp of "winners get to tell the story", and that the story will influence how the rest of the world sees them.

- When the Walrus tilts and squashes Randall, Flint stops Billy from intervening and rushes to rescue Randall himself - even though he knows the ship will be cut loose at any moment. He puts himself into incredible danger in this moment. Why? Theoretically, it could be for a manipulative purpose: to look good to the crew, or to get rid of Morley. But Flint seems genuinely involved in the struggle to save Randall, and he barely had time to think before he ran off. I feel that this is a rare spontaneous moment for Flint, where instead of thinking about his plans or his position as Captain, he just thinks like a person in an emergency who wants to rescue someone else. He absolutely could have died out there. And while Billy seems to suspect him of having killed Morley, I don't find that reading compatible with what we're shown of Flint trying to save Randall. True, he may have kicked/pushed Morley at the very last second, but we’ll never know that for sure.

- Back to the theme of people betraying their loved ones, we have Richard Guthrie getting back to Miranda, telling her he knows who she is and revealing the "Thomas went mad because Miranda and Flint cheated" story which he heard from Lord Alfred himself. So now Miranda knows that her identity has been revealed and that Richard could spread the story to, say, Pastor Lambrick (let's not pretend this didn't cross her mind, she keeps her identity secret for a reason). And then Guthrie offers her a way back to civilisation. This, right after a kid threw a stone at her, calling her a witch. This, after Flint has promised to make things better, even as he goes deeper into reckless/utopian plans of fortifying Nassau. Backed into a corner, was Miranda ever going to refuse, if she could be safe and have him be safe? And obviously, Richard Guthrie isn't doing this out of the kindness of his heart. He apparently figured out that Miranda was a way to get in touch with Pastor Lambrick and that ridding New Providence of Flint and winning over the “good”, normal inhabitants would be a perfect beginning to buying back his influence on the Island - the end goal being named Governor, of course.

- If there was any doubt that Vane’s tough guy thing is part of an act, his opium hallucination of Eleanor makes it crystal clear: "you're alone, you don't have to pretend with me". That is, pretend that he's not afraid and that he's not vulnerable. The hallucination also offers Vane an explanation for why Eleanor is how she is: like him she's afraid of appearing weak. He's actually spot on, a big problem in their relationship is that they're too alike and are struggling for dominance. Which is probably why Vane wants to overcome his fear and weakness, and regain power by confronting his old slave master (btw, nice parallel with Flint haunted by Miranda in S3). The scene where Vane kills Noonan also shows him in a very animalistic light - at first he's cornered and somewhat pathetic, beaten, throwing up, only saved by the fact that a gun misfires. Then he turns violent: quick, instinctive and relentless, deaf to Noonan's plea to leave him alive, even if theoretically it could have been profitable for him.

- I have to say, I snickered quite a bit when Pastor Lambrick sees Richard Guthrie and tells him "God teaches us not to cheer when someone stumbles, in your case I may ask his forgiveness". I mean, I really see his point. He leads a group of Puritans who are trying to make a life for themselves on this island. Historically, people who lived and farmed in New Providence were constant targets for errant pirates, who robbed, raped and killed a lot of them. This is what the Pastor is trying to protect his congregation from (and Miranda, since he doesn't understand why she's with Flint and is likely terrified that a pirate lives so close to his congregation, hence the spies he sends out). There's a bit of a parallel with Billy, where both Lambrick and Billy are presented as being very preoccupied with the well-being of the group they're responsible for, and both are presented as, well, Goody-Two-Shoes - (self-)righteous, loyal, honest, caring. Except they're both human, and sooner or later they falter.

[legoshi-plz]

Cynic (Legoshi x Reader)

Legoshi x Canine! Reader

Warning: NSFW (+18), minor mention of Rape/ Sexual Assault

Summary: Maybe you and a certain Grey Wolf are more alike than you thought.

A/N: So I decided to change up these requests just a little so that I could combine them ! I hope you guys like it! These started off as Headcanons but i got a little carried away lol also Characters are all over 18 in this fic

/////////////

You weren’t exactly what people would call a ‘happy’ animal.

Okay that was an understatement, you could be downright depressing at times. It’s not like you actually meant to be such a downer, you just considered yourself a realist and being a Carnivore in today’s society was the farthest thing from a ‘happy’ existence.

People profiled Carnivores wherever they went, always quick to see your kind as natural aggressors and when they weren’t clutching their purses ready to call animal control on you all for just being alive, they were quick to go over the top to prove they saw “all animals equally”, which usually was just a ploy for ‘progressive points’.

Being a Domesticated Dog, you recognized your privilege was a double edged sword in one of the worst ways possible. You had Herbivores constantly in your face telling you “You’re one of the good ones” while other Carnivores mostly saw dogs as ‘sellouts’ who were willing to whore themselves out (socially and in... other ways) for even the slightest scrap of attention. It was infuriating just living in such a society and you constantly felt on the verge of snapping but if you did, you’d just prove to be everything they already thought you were.

So needless to say, you kept to yourself. You just couldn’t bring yourself to put on the false pretense of cheerfulness that domesticated animals were expected to uphold so you tried to keep to yourself. No one understood you nor did they try. They were too caught up in their own charades and you were beyond the point of explaining how screwed up this world was. They knew, they didn’t care.

You were convinced you would spend your entire high school career in the shadows, not making an impression (good or bad) on anyone or anything and for a while it seemed that way. Until your final year.

For the most part, keeping to yourself gave you a lot of time to observe others, rarely were you the one technically being ‘observed’. Which is why you couldn’t understand why a certain Grey Wolf couldn’t keep his eyes off you.

He was painfully obvious, his awkward attempts to hide his little obsession whenever his eyes met yours was almost comical.

You chalked it all up to him probably being another sick fuck with a fetish for submissive animals. It was more common than most people like to address and Domesticated female dogs were the leading demographic of rape/ sexual assault victims from wolves. It was mainly the close proximity of their biology that made it so hard for wolves to control themselves (if you could say they had any control to begin with.) They preyed on smaller dogs because in comparison to them it was the closest they could get to defiling a Herbivore without the internalized shame and disgust. Also female Carnivores were often not believed when it came to these crimes because they were perceived as stronger/ more aggressive and should have been able to defend themselves. Yet another flaw in this fucked up animal judicial system.

You decided to ignore the Wolf and hope he just moved on. There weren’t many dogs at Cherryton but there were a few others who would probably be more than happy to tame the beast that lie within him. Or between his legs.

But weeks turned into months and his interest in you failed to cease. You decided to confront him. You decided to do so after class once the rest of the class filed out. He usually drug his feet so it wouldn’t be hard to catch him. Best case scenario, he was embarrassed about getting caught and promised to stop. Worst case scenario, he can’t control himself and takes you right then and there. You were apathetic either way, there were worst things out there than fucking a Wolf right?

You approached his desk as he was scrambling to shove his things into his shoulder bag, the rest of the class had long filed out by now.

“H-Hi,” he said looking up at you, his ears tilted downwards.

“You got a problem with me or something?” You can tell by the way his ears tugged down even further that your voice came off a little harsh but that was just the way you were.

“W-Why would I have a problem with you, YLN-san?” He was avoiding your cold stare. He was a Grey Wolf for crying out loud, what was wrong with him? Wolves were a lot of things but skittish wasn’t one of them.

“Drop the formalities. You stare me down day in and day out but now you’re afraid to look me in the eye? What are you playing at?” Okay maybe you did sound a little harsh but you didn’t believe in skipping around the topic.

“I just... noticed we were kind of... the same, y’know....” he grimaced. You left out a dry laugh. He knew nothing about you but he thought the two of you were the same? This definitely had to be some sort of ploy. He wanted something from you and sooner or later you’d find out what that something was.

But that later never came. He began to explain himself, explain how he was pretty bleak too and that he couldn’t help but notice that someone else seemed just as paused in life as he was. At first you thought he was just churning out bullshit but the more you sat and listened to him, the more you hung around him, you began to see the undeniable similarities between you two.

He would express the struggles he faced with his own existence as a Wolf, how he felt like he could never truly be himself, or even know what being himself actually meant because he was so busy trying to make people unafraid of him. It was like you had met your other half. He understood what had been gnawing at you from inside for years now because he was going through the exact same thing. And so the two of you became fast friends, nearly inseparable from one another.

You tried to deny it but you were slowly becoming more and more infatuated with the Grey Wolf every day. Legoshi was so kind and reserved at times but you found those traits all the more endearing. He showed such vast wisdom and maturity despite his own social awkwardness and you found yourself overwhelmingly comfortable in his presence. Comfortable and safe, his naturally huge physique and protective instincts which should give you every right to fear him actually proving to do just the opposite.

Speaking of Physique, you had to admit that Legoshi was undeniably attractive. Tall, beautiful coat, all lean muscle, a thick healthy tail you had found yourself drooling over near-constantly. He was any Canine’s kryptonite and you couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed it before now. Maybe it was just because you were so enamoured by his mind that your attraction to him physically was inevitable. Either way, you found yourself daydreaming about mounting him more times than you’d like to admit.

You thought that perhaps what you felt for Legoshi might be mutual until you found out he used to date a tiny Herbivore . And not just any Herbivore, a rabbit. The daintiest of them all. So he was just another sick psychopath with a fixation on innocence. You were heartbroken to say the least. What probably hurt the most was that you were no where near his type if Rabbits were his thing. You never stood a chance. But then again that wasn’t a surprise. You were nothing special prior to meeting Legoshi so why would yo expect anything to be different now.

That being said, it didn’t make you want Legoshi any less physically. You might not be his ideal mate but you knew there was still a part of him in there that had a desire for sexual release, a desire that Canine felt especially compelled to with other Canine, and you were going to capitalize off of that.

You found him in his usual spot in the art department after dark. He was always the last to leave.

“Y/N! Where’ve you been? H-have you been avoiding me?” He asked his tail tucked between his legs. You hadn’t seen him in about four days and giving the nearly inseparable friendship the two of you had over the past few months, it was out of character.

“I was,” you said bluntly. His ears lowered immediately.

“O-oh... did I do something wrong?”

“Yes,”

“... what was-”

“You fuck rabbits, Legoshi.” You saw his fur visibly stand on end and his eyes turn wide as saucers.

“Y/N I-”

“Look I’m just gonna cut to the chase,” you deadpanned, stepping forward, “I wanna have sex with you.”

“You WHAT?!”

“I’m attracted to you Legoshi. I might not be your type but I am small and I can make you feel good.” You didn’t wait for his response as you dropped to you knees in front of him.

“Y/N wait please,” he was tense all over but you were already unbuckling his belt and unzipping his trousers. Surprisingly, he went commando.

You pulled him out of his pants to see his knot was already beginning to swell at your touch and he was painfully hard. You licked your hand and began to stroke his impressive length. Guess it was true what they say, the thicker the tail, the thicker the-

“Y/N please just give me a second!” Legoshi asked cupping your face between both his large hands. You craned your neck up to meet his gaze but continued to pump his aching cock.

“Just relax, Legoshi. It’s okay if you have to pretend I’m a rabbit, I don’t really care. I know I’m not much to look at anyway,” you said, wrapping your mouth around his angry tip that was currently streaming out pre-cum. You moaned at the flavor as Legoshi shuddered above you.

“Y/N please stop, this can’t happen like this, okay.” He said slightly more forcefully as he pulled you off of him and began to tuck himself into his pants, his cock straining against the fabric defiantly creating an enormous bulge.

“Really? That unattracted to me, huh? Well, I guess it is what it is,” you said in your usually monotone voice while standing up and brushing off your skirt. You turned, about to make your exit when Legoshi grabbed your arm.

“Wait, Y/N, look I didn’t- it’s not that- I just-” Legoshi was flustered and looked as if he was ready to pass out at any moment.

“Spit it out, Wolf boy,” you said , trying to hide the fact that your feelings were pretty hurt.

“I just- I like you Y/N, really I do but-”

“You just don’t like me in that way. I heard you loud any clear. It’s whatever, Legoshi. Don’t stress it,” you said attempting to shrug out of his grip.

“Hold on, can we talk about this?!”

“There’s nothing to talk about, I wanted to have sex and you don’t.”

“I- I do w- of course I want to have sex with you, Y/N. I like you, a lot. You’re actually all I’ve been able to think about for a long time. But you’re so.... so.... indifferent towards even the slightest romantic implications, I didn’t think I had a shot in Hell...” he sighed.

“If you like me then why’d you stop me?” You asked evenly. You weren’t about to get your hopes up, that just wasn’t your style.

“Because I like you. If there’s even a chance you feel how I do then I wanna do this right. Ask you out properly, ask you to be my girlfriend, ask if I can kiss you, y’know the right steps before...”

“I suck your dick?” You offered, a small smirk playing at your lips. His still very much present hard-on twitched visibly at its mention.

“God, Y/N,” Legoshi groaned attempting to cover himself. You fought back the urge to giggle at his shyness despite the fact he was in your mouth less than two minutes ago.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I want to do it. Don’t you want me to?” You bit your lip in what you hoped was a seductive way.

“So fucking bad,” Legoshi groaned again unable to avert his eyes. You took this as an opportunity to step forward once more.

“Then why don’t we let this one slide, huh? And then we can do things your way?” You whispered palming him through his pants. He unconsciously began to grind lightly against your hand.

“Y/N, I’m in.... Male mode.... if we start, I might not be able to stop,” Legoshi voice was straining from trying to keep his own pleasure at bay. You dropped back down to your knees, once again pulling him out.

“Then don’t. Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to ride you, Legoshi? Let’s allow this one free-pass then you can start all the courting processes you want,” you said before taking him into your mouth. Legoshi felt his eyes roll back into his head as he thrust softly into your warm, wet throat.

“W-Wait, one more thing” he moaned, once again taking away what was quickly becoming your new favorite treat.

You were about to protest when he kneeled down to your level, again cupping your face in both his hands in order to place the sweetest kiss imaginable on your lips. He rested his forehead against yours for a moment, before pulling away to see you with the dopiest grin on your face.

Yeah, you were definitely going to be the death of him.

[lady-sapphire]

Sapphire’s WiP Wednesday OC Introduction - Part I

Well, I wanted to show my OCs and @kemvee shouted: “YES PLEASE!”. So, blame her for the following masses of text and posts. :D Let’s start with: 

Light and Shield (original title: “Licht und Schild”) (because that’s my big main story and the wellspring of everything)

Mina Russelton

She is my main OC I started planning back in 2017!  Mina is a human mage from Ferelden. She has porcelain-hued skin, crystal blue eyes and very long fire-red curls. She is 5'6’’ tall (1,70m) and has a slim figure, she is a member of the Small Tits Club.   Mina was born 9:16 near Southreach. Her mother was waiting-maid at the court of Arl Bryland, there are some rumours about her potential father. Her magic manifested when she was three years old which makes her the youngest case of magical ability that was ever documented (in my headcanon). (In my headcanon I decided that) The power of a mage can be measured, amongst other things, by the age at which their magic shows. Accordingly to this, she is extremely powerful but has enormous difficulties controlling this, especially at a young age.  Mina causes an explosion which partially destroys Arl Bryland’s castle, kills her mother (and other people) and he commits her to the templars. So she ends up in Fereldan Circle. She has a talent for fire and explosions. She gets to know Cullen in Kinloch and has quite a strong relationship to him, despite the fact that he is a templar and she is a mage. The circle is her home and her family, but she knows she is not truly free. On the other hand, she is aware that she needed the education and discipline to master her magic, which makes her rather hesitant about the Mage-Templar-War.  Mina chose battlemage as her specialisation, trained from the circle and later Cassandra. It’s her dream to become a Knight Enchanter that she can never fulfil. Solas discovers her deep unconscious connection to the power of the Fade and assumes, that’s the well of her unpredictable and to disaster tendering magic. He helps her to regulate this connection which makes it easier for her to control her magic. But she doesn’t become a rift mage. Later she shows interests in shapeshifting. Mina sucks at healing magic.  During the events of Inquisition, she rebuilds her friendship to Cullen and fell in love with him. He needs a long time to come to terms with his feelings for her and even longer to make them public. They have a “secret” relationship for several months (Dorian, Cassandra, Leliana and the Inquisitor know).  Mina spends a lot of her free time reading books, likes painting and acquires a reputation as a prodigiously Wicked Grace gambling woman, but is hopeless at chess. She loves strawberries and hates raisins. She doesn’t like alcohol very much (“fereldan beer makes me wanna puke”) but has a soft spot for sweet red wine. Mina is afraid of horses and not a got rider. She is friendly to most people and has dry wicked humour with her friends and camerades, she likes taking care of the younger kids in the circle and tends to be unwary when she researches. She prefers taking matters in her own hands, but have a disposition to impatience. Mina has sworn off religion and doesn’t have a high opinion about the Maker or the Chantry. However, she is able to recite the Chant of Light almost entirely from memory.  She is friends with Varric and Dorian and has a good relationship with Iron Bull and his Chargers. At the start, she is afraid of Cassandra but grows quite fond of the seeker. She doesn’t like Vivienne, but she respects her for her political understanding and her magical talent.  Varric calls her Tittle, Dorian Luv, Iron Bull names her Firebug. Cullen calls her sometimes Love. Solas changes from her name to Da'len, later Falon. Years later, at the events at the Exalted Council, he calls her Lethallan once. Mina is hetero, demi-sexual and infertile for some years because of an ovarian trauma. She thinks, she shouldn’t have kids of her own. Cullen and she marry 9:44 Dragon. Mina calls him and his siblings her family.  She is left-handed and has terrible handwriting.

For supporting characters click Read More! :)  

2. Tristan Trevelyan

Herald of Andraste and later Inquisitor in Light and Shield. Mage of Ostwick Circle, Knight Enchanter specialisation and romances Dorian. He sides with the mages and treats them as equal, makes softened Leliana Divine. Quite flirty at the beginning, grows more earnest as Inquisitor, likes to joke and laugh. Is a big supporter of Cullen’s lyrium withdrawal and helps him overcome his insecurities and issues. Becomes one of Cullen’s best friends and cares deeply for him, plays matchmaker for Josephine and Blackwall and has a strong right hook, according to Bull. 

3. Ser Raphael 

Templar from Wycome who joined the Inquisition at the very beginning. Is a righteous man, believe in mages and wants to protect them from any harm. Becomes Mina’s lieutenant and cares for her (and makes jokes about her habit of collecting books), as well as his whole unit. Dies in Adamant.

4. Ser Albert Dubois

Becomes Knight-Commander of the Circle of Ferelden four years after the Blight (in my headcanon, Greagoir dies under unclear circumstances, maybe because of age and/or lyrium addiction). He is from Orlais and a cruel man, who justifies his actions with “his right as a man of faith” and the Chant of Light. He rules in Kinloch Hold with terror, violence and rape. For four years, Mina is one of his favourite victims until the mages revolt and flee. He knows about Mina’s great magical power and wants to break her mind and enslave her, which he fails at. After the rebellion, he goes underground, brings her phylactery in his possession and kidnaps her later. He thinks Cullen “stole” Mina from him and demands her back. Tristan takes him prisoner, judges and executes him. 

5. Lynna Theirin (née Amell)

Hero of Ferelden and later Queen at Alistair’s side. Was Mina’s best friend back at the circle (vice versa) and misses her, when she got recruited by Duncan. Arcane Warrior and Spirit Healer, survived the Blight by Morrigan’s dark ritual. When Hawke becomes Champion of Kirkwall and the connection to the noble family Amell becomes public, she is finally able to marry Alistair (in my headcanon). Visits Skyhold during the events of Inquisition with her husbands where she and Mina meet again. Goes later on her quest to find the cure for the Taint. 

And a lot of “small named NPCs” with short appearances. Next part next week @kemvee? :) 

[laurasinele]

A Fictober19 Harringrove drabble + a story of survival and awareness

Written for Fictober19 prompt 20: “You could talk about it, you know”

Harringrove fanfic (Stranger Things) + the real life experience that inspired it

WARNING: PAST RAPE/SEX ABUSE (the present is mostly fluff)

DMs on the subject are welcome

I honestly had no idea what to do with this. I'm working on each prompt on the same day or the day before, though I try to decide the theme and basic plot about four days prior to publication. I had absolutely no idea about this one. My husband suggested to make it chapter 3 of Magpies, but in that one neither Draco nor Harry are bottling things up, so this line didn't really fit there. Then, yesterday, the 19th, something unpleasant happened to me and I decided I could use this prompt as an outlet. I went through my ships and the idea of pouring myself in my headcanon of Billy Hargrove became strong (mind you. I have not seen season 3, and I am aware things get complicated in that one to say the least, but let me bask into my post-season 2 repressed and traumatised baby who finds solace and love and understanding in Steve’s superhuman empathy and general gorgeousness). 

Click the link for the fic, what follows is the personal experience that inspired it, which you can also find in the fic’s chapter 2.

I am a sex abuse victim. The abuse took place in the form of repetitive non consensual sex in the context of an established relationship, through guilt-tripping mostly, on occasion by overpowering me physically. 

The guilt-tripping went as follows: up until I was 22 my sex-drive used to be well above average. Now I know it was due to a hormonal unbalance and the hypomanic stages of my now diagnosed type II bipolar disorder. Back then, I saw it as a very defining trait of my identity, as I felt free, empowered and connected with my body and my lovers. 

I said lovers because I had several of them simultaneously. Everybody was informed and agreed to it. Some of them were and still are friends of mine and between them. It was all open, honest and healthy. 

My relationship with my abuser started with him being one of those lovers. Then, evolved into an “official” relationship, but still open. In a natural way, he became my only relationship, as the others either started exclusive relationships or had schedules incompatible with mine, while my boyfriend studied with me and I spent most of the time at his parent’s place to avoid the continued low-key psychological and emotional abuse of my father, but that’s another story.

Still, even though none of us was seeing anyone else, we agreed that our relationship was open. At one point, I mentioned I was planning on meeting one of my past lovers. Just meeting, nothing I said suggested there was going to be any kind of intimacy. He got angry. He didn’t lash out and, after a while of sulking, he reasoned that our relationship was still open but he was not comfortable with the idea of me meeting that particular person because there had been a romantic relationship, and he was willing to have and let me have other sexual relationships but not romantic ones. We debated cordially for a while and I accepted his point. Flash forward several months later at my faculty’s cantina: a very good friend, who actually became my lover later on in my life, and is not anymore but is still a very close friend, started to flirt with me jokingly, as we usually did. My boyfriend joined us at our table, we kept our conversation peppered with compliments and pick up lines and, at some point, it got hot. And it was okay, it was public knowledge that my boyfriend and I were polyamorous. My friend and I accompanied my boyfriend to meet a professor and, along the way, we were making plans for the afternoon. My boyfriend had something to do, at what rose the possibility of hanging out with my friend and see where all the spicy talk went. My boyfriend had been encouraging us and playing matchmaker all the while, and he said something along the lines of “sure, go ahead”, but when my friend and I started to discuss the logistic he got nervous. We noticed and exchanged worried looks, slowing the conversation down a notch. It was all very natural and open up until that moment, but the change in the mood was so obvious that I finally asked what was wrong. He said he wasn’t comfortable with me fucking one of my best mates because, well, he knew the guy. I couldn’t believe it at first. I remembered the first restriction: no ex-boyfriends. Now, not people that we both know. Because he said it in front of my friend, and my friend knew me quite well and recognised the look in my face as more than mildly annoyed, he hurried to say it was okay with him and asked me if I could still give him a lift. That way I avoided an argument with my boyfriend on the topic of “Is this restricting our openness as a couple becoming a trend?”. Not other prospects rose for me nor for him, and we never discussed exclusiveness again. 

Not long after that incident, I fell into a depression. Both the depressive state and the anti-depressants affected my libido enormously. I was practically never in the mood for sex. Sometimes I willingly made an effort when he initiated it, but I realised the experiences were not comfortable for me and forcing myself was only making it more difficult to get my sex-drive back. I explained this. He said it made sense. Next night he tried again. I said no. This went on for a couple of weeks. Then he got, not angry but, dramatic, and said he had lots of trust and self-esteem issues and, that if we didn’t have sex, he felt as if I didn’t love him. I explained for the umptenth time, and emphasized that he already knew this, that my low sex drive was a chemical catastrophe in my brain and had nothing to do with my love for him. That, if something, it was challenging my self perception, as I had identified with my sexuality and explored it confidently and freely from a very, very early age. This was hurting me as much or more as it was hurting him. He calmed down for another week or two. He brought the “I feel like you don’t love me anymore” discourse again. I decided to have sex with him that night. It was awful. I didn’t came nor wanted to. He insisted on making me. He stopped trying with his fingers when I closed my legs, since my words didn’t seem to be enough. That night passed and others came. I said no, he said yes, I said no, he was almost 6’5 feet tall (2 meters) and his hand was bigger than my face. He opened my legs by force (I think he thought it was roleplaying). That made me freeze and I let him have his way. I still tried to say no every next time. I eventually stopped saying yes or no. I just layed there. 

Now, when I started to tell this story to people, the most common first question was: why did you keep going to his place to sleep? The answer is simple: I did not see it as something as bad as going home and facing the tension and scorn and yells from my father. In the great scheme of things, I know now that what my boyfriend did was worse but, because of its duration in time and newness, the situation at my home felt much more real and unbearable. I still didn’t realize what my boyfriend was doing was rape. I just thought we had things to talk about and the moment to do so never came.

The first time I called it by its name it was like an epiphany. For some reason I remember it was March, and I remember I told him: “You’ve been doing it for six months”. We had an argument for an entirely different reason that I don't remember and it evolved into the fact that lately we were constantly arguing. I kept trying to get somewhere in that particular argument because it kept going in circles: he pointed out problems and I kept saying those weren’t what was wrong with us. He asked impatiently and loudly what was it then. And I bursted out, and I didn’t even know the words were inside me, I didn’t had the notion before talking: “Our problem is that you’ve been raping me for six months. You’ve been doing it for six months, and I say no, and you keep going at it and in the end I stopped saying no because it was easier than risking to get hurt. And so I can’t trust you anymore and that's why snap at you for everything”. 

He was horrified. He covered his mouth with his hand and became pale. He seated and whispered “It’s true. This is horrible. This is horrible, horrible. This is horrible.” He kept repeating that word. I told him I had never known it was rape until I said it outloud and that, now that we both knew, it had to stop. He was disgusted with himself and he stopped. For a couple of weeks. 

I never told him again what he was doing. I grew more and more wary of saying no. I just rolled with it: the non consensual sex and the relationship itself. That summer we ended it civilly, because there wasn't a moment we weren't at each other's throats, and we still remembered that we used to be friends. He had even pushed me against his wardrobe to make me shut up once. So we thought breaking up for good, and this is important, he specifically said “for good” and we agreed, was our best option. 

Then began the gaslighting. I don't know if it was intentional or he is actually that delusional. I had buried the fact that none or almost none of the sex I had had in the last year had been consensual, and moved on with my life. He was still my classmate, one of my closest friends and a constant presence in my social life. I told everyone to support him specially because I'd had more experience in breakups while he was more emotionally unstable in general (and everyone knew this for a fact). 

One day, two friends came to visit me to the store I managed. They asked how was I doing and I said I was fine, that in the end it was obvious that we could not be a couple. They exchanged disconcerted looks. "That's not what he's saying. He's telling everyone you've taken three months off and then you'll be back together". I was beyond shocked, specially by the specificity of it. Three months, he was saying. When they saw my reaction it was like opening a dam. They started to list all the apparently uncharacteristic things he was doing: he was drinking alcohol (he never did before), he was hard-core hitting on everyone, he was always trying to make plans with everybody and he would always talk about himself over any other thing. 

In the span of a few months, he got a girlfriend and dumped her in a very ugly fashion. Two days prior to their breakup, their love was all over his Facebook, and right before leaving for a job abroad he dumped her telling her openly that he didn't love her. By then, our interactions were minimal and I had been starting to flinch whenever  he touched me, but I didn't pay much thought to it until this breakup and a very unfortunate line he threw on me. There was a farewell party for him and, at the end of it, he approached me and said that now that he was single again we could fuck every now and then. I felt cold all over and then fiery fury. I remember clenching my fists. I dismissed his offer politely but sternly, reminding him, as it had been nothing, that there had been issues between us regarding consent. He didn't seem much bothered by my answer. Later on I learned he was telling people he had gone abroad to fuck, so I guess my negative wasn't a big deal at the moment. After that night, "He used to rape me” was always on my mind, every single someone mentioned him, I saw a picture of him or he contacted me. 

I decided to tell, and only to very few people, and still excusing him, when it was too obvious that I was avoiding him, and when I began to have trouble to trust my sex partners. I stopped excusing him eventually, but I never fully blamed him (not that I blamed myself). Years later, I had another boyfriend and I met a girl through him. We became friends, and at some point she told me she had just met a guy. It was my ex. There were months of debating between telling her or not. I settled for “he’s one for long term relationships”, since she prefered no strings attached. However, as she put it, she fell in love. Time passed, my relationship with the man that had introduced us ended, and so my meetings with her where more sporadic. In one of those, she told me she already knew what he did to me. That he had told her. So he knew why I stopped talking to him. 

I talked less and less with this girl, mostly through Facebook. At some point in time he and I exchanged messages. He wanted to talk, I was open to it but in a bad moment so I told him I needed to sort things out first. Never contacted again.

Almost four years ago, she got pregnant. I had assumed, since they’d been together for so long, that what he did to me was an isolated event. I met them to give them a baby shower present. I’d rather have met her alone but I had no time to meet her in Barcelona and she couldn’t drive, so he came along. It was the first time I saw him in years. She left us alone for a while. I asked if the baby was planned. He told me excitedly that it had been a whim after a woman they had just met in a party had told them what a nice couple they were and that they should have children, because some friends of hers had just become parents and it was wonderful. He told me how, when they got home, he picked up a condom an announced it was the last one he was using. He mocked his girlfriend saying “Oh, I don’t know, I don’t know” to that, and told me he said “You know what? I’m not using this one either”. And that night she got pregnant. On my 9 months pregnant friend’s mock-indignant words “This one knocked me up!”. I was horrified. I could not understand how they didn’t see how wrong that was. Never met them again. 

Three years ago I saw a picture of the baby doing something cute on Facebook. I hit like without thinking. I had nothing but warm feelings towards the mother. A few days later she wrote a long private message through Facebook saying she needed to cut ties with me because of her baby’s father situation with me. She said I hadn’t wanted to fix things with him when we met last time, and that he came, according to her, so he and I could talk. I was going through a lot: had just lost my job in a project that was practically my creation, had just started managing a store, my husband’s mum was sick with cancer in another town 600 miles away (1000km) and my husband had flown there, and I was left cancelling reservations and calling the guests to our wedding that had been supposed to be in three months from that moment. Less than a week before that message, I had to go to ER because I spent the whole day with tachycardia. So I told her my situation, that I valued her friendship, and I asked to meet later on that month to talk about it. She agreed.

Two days later I was at work, alone, breathing consciously because of my constant anxiety. I got another message from her. It started: “I can’t be friends with someone who thinks my man is a rapist”. I got very angry. I told her I didn’t thought he was, but I knew what he did to me. She talked about it as if it was a lie, when we had both, the three of us actually, existed in a universe where we all agreed it was real. She said he had lost friends because of it. Our common friends that knew what had happened between us had distanced themselves from him, reportedly, because of his new self-centered, party animal, sex-obsessed attitude. I’d had enough. I thought I had it all wrapped up, I ended my day at work and drove to a seaside town to celebrate a friend’s birthday. There, I only told the birthday boy the reason of me changing my mind over attending or not. So, when shit happened, he was the only one who guessed where it came from.

I took my phone out to take a picture of our group, but saw the notifications of audio messages from Facebook Messenger, from my abuser. I walked away to listen to them. I was calm, I assumed he’d be apologising. I opened the first one and it was three seconds of silence and then my name in his voice and his tone was furious. My knees gave up, I leaned against a light post and slid down until I sat on the floor. The next words were “I am very indignant. How can you say I am a rapist?”. Then he proceeded to insult me, blame my father of everything, say I was laughing at real rape victims face, accusing me of having raped him… I fell in hysterics and doubted myself. I thought for a moment it was my fault. Now, the birthday boy was the friend my abuser had banned me from having sex with, and he was also one of the two friends that came to see me at work and told me that my ex was saying we were getting back in three months. The other friend was also there. They both knew and they both, when they finally understood what was going on, prevented me from listening to the rest of the audio messages (and more kept coming), and told me I wasn’t imagining things. They told me it happened and they told me I wasn’t a liar. The panic came and went for a long while. I couldn’t sit still, I couldn’t look at my friends, more than a half of which didn’t know what happened back then and what was happening now. I ended crying in a friends shoulder saying “I should have strangled him”. This episode kick-started almost 3 years of severe depression and anxiety, unemployment and relationship crisis, from which I’ve been recovering only for the last six or nine months. And, in case you haven’t thought of it, I still was having trouble trusting my sex partner when this happened, so I still needed to reconstruct my identity separated from my sexuality. 

Through 8 years of my adult life, this is something that has been following me, that I’ve tried to manage on my own, and that he has had no remorse in bringing back when his life wasn’t going well. After his audio messages, I learnt that he and his girlfriend were swinging with a couple who I had only met once, being friends of a friend. I asked my common friend to not say anything about my relationship to my abuser and she answered “Too late. He told my friend about everything”. I asked, because I wasn’t sure and I didn’t understand. My friend confirmed that “everything” meant he told my friend’s friend he had been my boyfriend and he had raped me repeatedly. I was puzzled and disgusted. It had just been months since the audios, since him denying it. This friend of a friend is now closer to me and my husband, cut ties with him and has never mentioned it to me.

This last indirect connection with him was about three years ago. I live in a small historic village near Barcelona. As far as I know, my past abuser lives in Barcelona and does not know where I live. Yesterday, I was sitting at a cafe’s terrace with my husband and my dog, telling my husband how amazed I was by the response to the Merlin/Arthur drabble being it such an old fandom, when I lifted my head from my phone screen and I saw him, with two more people, in tourist gear. I was wearing big sunglasses, and I stopped talking, hoping he wouldn’t recognise me behind them, but he was looking at me. He looked like he wanted to say hi, and veered towards me. I stammered a bit but kept saying what I was saying to my husband, pointedly looking at my abuser with a very serious face and tone.I waited just for a beat for him to change his mind and stop looking at me, and walk past my table without stopping. I told my husband. He congratulated me on my reaction and offered to get me a second breakfast pastry. 

My abuser passed again near our table with his partners, and this time he didn’t glance at us. I had my heart hammering a hole through my ribcage and I was angry that I had not yelled at him, that I had not hit him, that I had not finished it. Then I realised that, although now I am physically and emotionally exhausted, it is because of the sudden trip back and forth in time and the mental exertion it caused since I am bipolar and hence more sensitive to this things. It was not because I am not over him and what he did. I didn’t had to finish it because it had finished already, sometime in the last three years, and I did it just by investing in myself and my loved ones, just by not having my abuser’s ominous presence obscuring it all. Just by speaking up. Just by avoiding hatred and toxicity and choosing healthy affection, honesty and trust. 

If it happened to you, or is still happening, say it. Say it to your abuser, to the people who loves you, to those who love them. Tell the authorities, tell as many people as you can. Put space between you and the facts, between you and your abuser. The first person you need to help and save is you. Talk to someone, anyone, but don’t shut it down. Don’t keep it hidden because it rots.

[impossibleleaf]

The Crimes Of Grindelwald Meta: The Lestrange tragedy

Soooo.... The Crimes of Grindelwald. A highly anticipated movie that missed the mark on several accounts.

Too many characters and plot conveniences, a blatant disregard for the ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ rule, apparent OOC moments. A few WTF moments that, if you think about it for a minute make you scream ‘But that does not make sense!’ At first glance, the entire movie is an utter mess.

And it is. It is a mess. I’m not going to lie, the execution was sometimes badly done and JKR makes you do intellectual acrobatics for points that are actually pointless. The movie has many problems, the first one being that it is a movie. And movies cannot handle so many new arcs at the same time.

Rowling is not a screenwriter. She is a writer and her mistake was ultimately to assume she didn’t need to make any adjustment. As a result, some new characters get accidentally tossed in the bin by the audience because the audience doesn’t care enough yet and has many more problems to deal with. And as it is a movie, you do not have the time to ponder any new point and see how everything fit as a whole.

But if you start looking at it as a book...

Well, if you start looking at the Crimes of Grindelwald as a book and began assuming she knows what she is doing...

A lot of things suddenly start to make sense.

Tighten your belt, we are about to enter the realms of guesswork and speculation. Some of you may even say this is only a headcanon but I really don’t think so. Still, if you want everything to suddenly make sense and several plot holes to magically fill themselves, just bear with me.

There will be of course MAJOR SPOILERS so keep reading at your own risks. Spoilers from CoG, and potential spoilers for the entire FBAWTFT serie. Also, I’m using some part of the original screenplay.

You’ve been warned.

First thing first, I am not going to talk about the reveal at the end of the movie about Credence’s identity. Mostly because, for how everything seems to turn around him, he is at the present moment a puppet. More than that, he is a McGuffin.

He is a McGuffin, only a plot device. The real actor, the key for understanding the entire movie is not Credence but this person.

(Bet you didn’t see this coming).

Yusuf Kama, that new character who falls on our laps telling us he needs to kill Credence because of an Unbreakable Vow and throws at us the entire story about the Lestranges. Spends half his on-screen presence with some insect in his eye, Nobody IRL seems to care about him.

We should. We should really look at him because he is the one who has all the answers even if he doesn’t know it yet.

Let me explain now.

As you must know by now, his entire life went to hell when Corvus Lestrange IV kidnapped his mother to rape her and had a child with her, Leta. His father went mad with grief when she died in childbirth and made him swear an Unbreakable Vow to kill ‘the one Corvus Lestrange loves most’. From the moment Leta, his half-sister, was born, he took the path of an avenger and began trying to fulfill the Unbreakable Vow by finding ‘the one Corvus Lestrange loves most’ and killing them.

He began thinking it would be easy. Problem was, Corvus IV is a shitting piece of work and has never loved his daughter.

But then Lestrange had a son... Corvus Lestrange V. And, according to Yusuf Kama, love began filling his cold and empty heart.

I’m summarizing the rest. To protect his son from Kama, he sent his children in America on a boat with a half house-elf (the script explains why the boat, to leave the least magical traces), the ship sinks, Leta being a brat at that age had switched the baby with another, Baby Corvus sinks. She never tells anybody but shows the family tree in the end to reveal the truth.

So, what now? Does that mean that Kama’s Unbreakable Vow is null and void? If Corvus is dead, then who was Voldemort’s classmate?

Here’s where absolutely everybody has made a dangerous mistake.

At no moment has it been said that Corvus Lestrange IV is dead.

We assume he is dead. But, unless we hear from a reliable character he is dead, we have to assume he is not.

Tom Riddle’s classmate? Tom was born the 31st of december 1926. Most, if not all his classmates were born in 1927. So, it is strongly possible that this Lestrange was not in the family tree only because he has yet to be born. It is 1927 in CoG, he may very well be born next month for them.

And, if you connect the two, Voldemort’s classmate might have just been Corvus Lestrange IV’s son and Leta’s half-brother.

And if Lestrange has another son, then Kama is back in business and will continue his revenge quest. He will try to find ‘the one Lestrange loves most’ and attempt to kill the new baby.

(Careful Kama. Killing babies because of prophecies is bad luck in HP).

Now, we are going to go deeper in the realm of speculations, so bear with me.

Kama’s father made his son swear he would kill the one ‘Lestrange loves most’. Kama had once thought that person would be Leta except he didn’t love her. Kama then started believing Lestrange loved Baby Corvus so he tried to kill him.

We’re going to assume for a moment Lestrange is a real monster (which he is). He used the Unforgiveable on a married woman to bed her, he does not love his own daughter. And, even if he supposedly loved his son, we need to remember he sent him to America to be adopted by Mary Lou Barebone.

He left who he thought to be his ‘beloved’ son so he could be adopted by Mary Lou Barebone. That woman!

A muggle! The leader of the New Salem Philantropic Society, a group which notably hates magic and would love to kill witches!

Don’t believe me? It’s written in the Original Screenplay!

IRMA: I took you to Mrs Barebone because she was supposed to look after you.

It was not an accident! He wasn’t dropped in an orphanage and she adopted him! The Lestrange’s servant was under order to give who she thought to be Baby Corvus to that woman!

And at no moment had the father tried to get any new of his ‘son’ or he would have known what an enormous mistake that was in a minute!

It’s as if he sent him to her and told that woman his mother was a witch so she could abuse him and turn him into a a powerful Obscurius!

No really, considering how bad his plan to send him to Mary Lou Barebone was, the only thing for it to make sense is to assume that Lestrange used the occasion to insure his son would be abused enough to become an obscurus. For how cruel, how despicable it is, that is the only ‘reason’, the only thing that sounds ‘logical’. Lestrange must have wanted an obscurus, probably thinking a pureblood such as his son would manage to control it and be an all powerful weapon.

So no, Kama is wrong. The one Lestrange loves most is not his son either. And even if he had felt even a sliver of paternal love, he wouldn’t be the one he loves most. And there is absolutely no reason at all that the new Lestrange will be loved either. So, someday, Kama after much research will finally get it right and see what should have always been obvious.

The one Corvus Lestrange IV loves most is himself. He is the one Kama is supposed to kill.

Baby Corvus? Even if he had cared, he still loves himself more than he loved his own son. And the whole ‘let’s send him by boat so that Kama cannot find him, love you baby’ suddenly becomes ‘So he thinks he needs to kill my son. Wonderful! Let’s send my son away so he goes on a merry chase and stay far, far away from me!”

And here comes the first part of the prophecy Kama gave us.

The first part, as you remember is: A Son cruelly banished. The Son is Baby Corvus, abandoned by his own father to save his skin and, possibly, to become an obscurus after years of abuse. The only thing that saved him from this horrible fate was that he died before reaching America.

Now come the second part: Despair of the Daughter.

It is obliviously Leta. Leta Lestrange who had accidentally killed her little brother and lived with that guilt all her life.

Question is: are we really sure Lestrange didn’t know what his daughter has done? If all you have to do to know if somebody died is to check the genealogic tree, then Lestrange who has it for years, even decades couldn't have not known Baby Corvus was dead. And for an adult, it is ridiculously easy to see a child like Leta at the time is feeling guilty because she did something very, very bad.

So it is possible that Lestrange has always known his daughter had killed his son. There was no point from then to care about Credence. He was not his son after all, he didn’t matter.

But Lestrange must have used her guilt to torture and manipulate Leta. Just the right allusion at the right moment, and she was his unwilling puppet.

Now, let’s take a look at this picture.

I don’t know for you, but it does not feel like it is the first time the two are seeing each other. There seems to be history there. It is not Queenie Goldstein joining Grindelwald, she’s getting a special treatment here.

The whole hate speech is happening inside the Lestrange Mausoleum, the Lestranges are a dark family. Grindelwald seems to have powerful and utterly loyal followers. So, it is very easy to speculate from there that Corvus Lestrange IV is also one of Grindelwald’s men. And if Lestrange is one of Grindelwald’s, then Leta also had to be one of his followers, whether she liked it or not.

But what could she do for the cause?

Well, she could seduce a rising and very powerful Auror for example. Be their spy, marry somebody high in the Auror Forces and tell them what she learns from him about the British Ministry of Magic’s plans.

It’s just a pity that Auror’s brother happen to be Newt Scamander’s hug-loving brother. She may not love Theseus and only use him, she still loves Newt. He’s probably the only one she has ever loved, in fact.

And because she loved Newts, she’s decided to save them by switching side somewhere around the middle of the movie and attempting to derail Grindelwald and Lestrange’s plan.

If you assume Lestrange knows his son is dead, that his replacement will believe he is Corvus Lestrange and that he is one of Grindelwald’s men, then it becomes extraordinarily obvious that it is Lestrange who told Grindelwald Credence is not Corvus and that he’ll probably try to find Irma Dugard because he took his son’s place and she sighed the adoption papers. From there, Grindelwald had enough time to makes a plan.

The real trick for Grindelwald to ‘seduce’ Credence to his side is to insure he follows his breadcrumbs and learn what they want him to learn at the proper time. Not before, not after. Not less but not more either. We wouldn’t want him to realize Lestrange sent his son to Barebone on purpose. Grindelwald kills Irma Dugard right after she tell Credence Mary Lou Barebone was supposed to look after him so that he doesn’t see this wasn’t an accident and some man sent his own son to hell.

And, when Credence finally despairs at the realization it is a dead end, he tells him he just has to comes to him to know what he is. That was their plan.

For this reason, Leta taking the Lestranges’ book was not a coincidence. She must have figured it out, maybe she was in the plan even if she didn’t know everything and she tried to derail the plan by taking the book before Vinda could. And then she told the truth, hoping it would solve everything, not knowing it was also part of Grindalwald’s plan.

And when all else failed and he was about to kill Newts and his friends, she decided to show her true colours and fight Grindelwald to save them.

Her death was not pointless, it was the natural end of her redemption arc, one that has yet to be told to the Scamander brothers.

So, where does that leave us? Kama, in his quest for revenge will most certainly discover the truth. Instead of killing the baby, he will realize just what kind of monster Lestrange really is and finally get the prophecy right.

A son cruelly banished

Despair of the daughter

Return, great avenger

With wings from the water

He is indeed the great avenger, but he got the prophecy wrong and jumped to conclusions even though he’s correctly identified the ones mentioned here. EDIT: The wings from the water are nothing but his realization that the two Lestrange children (whose family animal is a raven) are the true victims and ‘died’ because of their father in that shipwreck, giving him finally the drive to do the right thing for the right reasons.

Kama was never supposed to kill Lestrange’s children, he is the one supposed to avenge them and kill their father.

And when he does and kills Lestrange, the true culprit and the one that should have always paid for his crimes, he would have fulfilled the Unbreakable Vow he has made to his father and be free.

EDIT: ADDENDUM

The most striking evidence of this theory is the magical creature in Yusuf Kama’s eye.

He lives with some magical creature in his eye and only manages to keep it at bay via the use of his magical eyedrops. How long he’s had that problem, we don’t know, but it is a clear metaphor for him being unable to see clearly things as they are. He tries to keep going despite this, tries to contain the problem, but it stops him for doing what he has to do. He is ‘blind’ to the truth, he cannot see it because of that parasite that according to Newts must come from the sewers, in other words used water, and is in other words fated to fail so long as the parasite is here.

It’s a good thing Newts Scamander got rid of it. His eyes are now ready to finally see clearly what has always been right in front of him.

[jcmorgenstern]

Forvige me friend but after last episode I have this sad gross headcanon that Lilith didn't stop her motherly affections just at kissing and now Jonathan has a very wrong idea about sex 😢😢😢 and its all angst and crispy tears

Okay obviously an enormous warning for discussion of sexual assault, CSA, and general abuse. I think that goes without saying.

Considering I’m quite sure y’all are different anons I think y’all are in good company, so I don’t think it’s “”gross”” of you to read the subtext–quite the pposite, in fact. And tbh I also immediately interpreted the full mouth kiss as much more than that, especially with how she treated Jace. Putting the potion in his drink was too explicitly date rape to be an accident on the writers’ part, especially how she flirts with him enough to elicit a “sorry, I have a girlfriend.” Also that slap? Definitely not the first time she’s reacted to someone like that. However, while Clary gets a “I feel so violated” line (and fucking I’m glad she did), Jace gets nothing but getting yelled at for not wanting to stop shocking lilith like….ok. She did make him kill his grandmother but ok. He did blame Clary’s death on himself because of the possession but ok. fine whatever.

So tbh I’m not surprised that Jonathan kissing Clary is interpreted by the fandom as assault (which it is) but Lilith kissing Jonathan is just “weird incest ahahha” or “looks like he gets it from his mom” or just generally cracking jokes. And ok, yeah, it’s hard to take the show seriously because it’s so dramatic sometimes, and Jonathan’s cumulative lifetime of abuse becomes a little cartoonish at times, but honestly? I’m kind of dissapointed that when people do comment on it, they don’t seem to treat it with any gravitas. It’s not assault. He’s ungrateful, she brought him back to life. He’s evil so he deserves it. (Never mind he arrived in Edom at 10, before he’d done anything except shove that kid off a bridge but i guarantee no one who isn’t a crispy stan remembers that).

Also look if we’re being honest here? The way he behaves in 3x16 makes me think of the flashback in 3a where he arrives in Edom and her touch burns him. I’d gotten an anon way before back in 3a asking about this and tbh I was kind of like “er if you want” but i guess anon is better at predicting things than me!! anyway “burning hands/touch” is one hell of a loaded metaphor. And what had been bothering me is that in 2x16 Seb describes the reason for him being burnt as that he was “too beautiful for their world, too pretty” but NOW THAT SOUNDS EVEN MORE DARK FUCK MY ENTIRE ASS WHAT THE FUCK HE’S LIKE 10 WHAT THE FUCK IS NO ONE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS

like at this point I’m more worried about the people who didn’t find that scene disturbing and extremely fucked up and thought it was funny or just more of jonathan’s incest problem. like that’s not the cutest look, y’all. anyway im kind of overreacting because tbh no one really thnks that deeply about jonathan and that’s chill but oh my goddddddd (also tbh I’m a little mad about all the people saying “clary owes him love because he’s abused!1!!” like dude…yes, he deserves a chance, but maybe not necessarily from the person he also abused in turn. if clary chooses to give that (free of coercion), that’s one thing, but saying “oh she lived a good life and he suffered she owes him and she should feel guilty (and fuck him)” is honestly kind of horrifying). Is my discourse showing? Yes and I’m sorry ghaksdjfhg

anyway tldr at this point I’m just frustrated that none of the character’s potential will be realized and they probably won’t acknowledge that hopping from one sexually abusive immortal woman to another immortal probably vaguely exploitative (in terms of a rather comedically extreme age gap and the general baseline toxicity of the relationship in general) relationship but you know it’s fine im over it and totally fine

[ciircumserpent]

:o Does the Mun have any video game recommendations? I played Metal gear solid and liked it.

i’m glad you liked mgs !! it’s a really great series and a lot of fun to play. i’ll warn you that my taste in video games is kind of eclectic, and there aren’t a lot on this list that resemble mgs at all, but i’ll try to explain why i like what i like because i definitely think they’re games worth playing. i’m gonna put this under a cut though because it’s not rp- or headcanon-related and it will also probably get… long… ( i’m skipping over games like mario / loz / sonic / pokémon / etc. because there are so many of those that it’s a free-for-all in terms of which you think is the ‘best’ and because they’re so similar at the end of the day that it doesn’t even matter you’re gonna get about the same experience. )

a little background. my exposure to video games started in a school setting. when i was really little, i wasn’t allowed to own any games myself, and i didn’t get my first console until i was pretty old ( i tend to be slow on the console market in general; i bought my first console for myself this year and it was a ps4, my ps3 was a gift that i received last year, and before that, it had been the ps2 which was released seventeen years ago, so make of that what you will ). all of my gaming then took place in preschool and kindergarten, which meant that i was mostly playing nintendo party games. so imagine what a life-changing event it must have been when i picked up–

kingdom hearts / ii: i’ve been playing the kingdom hearts games for… most of my life, and they matter a lot to me. i actually think kingdom hearts ( the original ) was the first game that i could remember playing enough for it to have an emotional impact. i’d played games before that, but they were sort of mindless entertainment. by the time i got kingdom hearts, i was old enough to actually think about what was going on and to remember it in some detail when i stopped playing. it was also my first game with an engaging story worth remembering. the gameplay in the original might seem a little jerky now, but looking at some of the other shit stuff that came out at about the same time, kingdom hearts had incredible animation, environments, and controls. kingdom hearts ii, which also came out on the ps2, was even better. i was stunned by how great the cinematics looked ( i also use this and squenix’s other games to push the point that if your game goes for style instead of realism it doesn’t age as badly ), and how good combat felt. now, kingdom hearts is an rpg in that it has a lot of grinding and you level up your character and switch out abilities and weapons and all that, so if that’s not for you, you may not like that, but honestly i find the gameplay so engaging that i straight up don’t care if i’m spending some time filling up item slots and balancing my action points. i’m also not partial to the other games in the series, not because they aren’t ‘good’, but because square fucked up how it released these games honestly. they’re spread across so many consoles that until the ps3 compilation you had to either be made of money or have lots of friends with different consoles to get all of the story. there’s been a highly dedicated fanbase since the early 2000s that has been consistently updating all available information on the series, so if you were smart, you waited and watched the cinematics and walkthroughs, then picked up the remixes when they came out. the only complaint i have is that, when they ported the mobile games to console ( all with updated graphics, don’t worry, they’re very attentive when it comes to that ), you can… tell that they weren’t designed for a playstation controller. but i have straight up played kingdom hearts ii for twelve years now and haven’t gotten bored. i only recommend that you start with the original kingdom hearts. it’s not the first game chronologically, but it’s 1) the simplest and 2) the most genuine in what it was trying to do, and it lays the emotional foundation for the rest of the series. you’re not going to feel the same impact playing these games if you start with the prequels, because they use the more complex storytelling of kingdom hearts ii, which only ever made sense if you played i. clearly i care a lot about this game. it’s such a good game. the story’s gotten ridiculous but please play kingdom hearts.

bioshock infinite: this is another game where you should play the original ( bioshock ) first, but the plot twist is that i like bioshock so much less than infinite that i straight up don’t care. i played infinite first and it didn’t kill me so i think you’ll be fine. if you liked metal gear for the shooting / action element, then the bioshock series is probably the closest thing i can offer you on this list to mgs. it’s an fps game, and if you’ve seen any of the visuals then you’ll know that it’s gorgeous. it leaves a lot to be desired in terms of character animation ( nobody at irrational games has ever seen another human being and every npc is an eldritch abomination ), but the rest is solid. i can’t talk about it too much without spoiling it, so i’ll just say that the character you play is is his own character; he is not a direct player surrogate and he’s going to talk a lot. there are plenty of add-ons and changing the difficulty level actually changes how you play the game, so that ( in addition to having an… interesting story ) dramatically raises the replay value. i have 100 hours on this game on steam alone. i also own this game for console. i have also sat through a billion let’s plays of this game because i wanted to hear what other people had to say. i have also played it in french. twice. but i find gunslinging very satisfying so if you don’t like shooters then you probably won’t replay it as often as i do, but the story is worth at least one or two plays.

borderlands 2: the last fps on this list. also, again, this is specifically borderlands 2, and you’re not missing out on the story from the original because there wasn’t much of one. granted, 2 is still a game for people who like collecting guns and… collecting guns… but at least it gives you more plot to work with ( though that plot mostly consists of go here and do this thing and is a means of funneling you through all the different areas where you can shoot new things ). i also found the learning curve to be a damn struggle; this game punishes you early on until you learn to play smart, but since death is a slap on the wrist and you can revisit any area on the world map without the enemies leveling up too much, once you do understand how to play the game, going back and blowing through boss fights that took hours originally feels fantastic. since this game can be bought in packs of four, it’s clear that it’s supposed to be played with friends; it is also an rpg with classes that are supposed to balance each other out, and going through it alone as one class is probably what made it so difficult for me at first. i actually had to have a friend carry me through the second level before i could stand on my own. but the good thing is that this game has an enormous amount of dlc, and the main game itself is already bursting with content. i still haven’t gotten 100% completion. also the writing is hilarious. ( it can’t stand on its own tho so bye telltale borderlands. )

night in the woods: play this instead of life is strange if you only have so much money to spend. i’ll admit that i’m biased here because the main character hit so close to home, but it does what life is strange does and it does it better imo. don’t get me wrong, i also loved life is strange and it made me sob like a baby, but it also does a lot to manipulate your emotions without putting in the work to earn the reaction, and night in the woods doesn’t have that luxury. it’s a pretty leisurely game – a lot of platforming, a lot of mini-games – but the story is out of this world. if you like the sort of small-town-but-also-impending-supernatural-disaster feel that life is strange was going for with less cop outs and more understandable ambiguity, pick it up. it has two free to play dlc that were released before the game, so they’re spoiler-free and also fun as hell.

alice: madness returns: i like horror and i like alice in wonderland and i was too young to place the pc alice when it came out, but you only need the briefest overview of that game to play this one. the gameplay is… so much better ( though it has its fair share of graphical oddities ), and the plot is pretty damn good. granted, it’s not as plot-heavy as the other games on this list ( it’s alice in wonderland, most of the draw is the environments ), but the art direction is phenomenal, so much so that it raised funds via kickstarter and released two animated shorts because the visuals were that compelling. it’s sort of experimental, sort of cliche, but still worth your time. warning: there’s some graphic sexual imagery, including csa and rape. it’s also a horror game, so there’s gore galore. be careful if you pick it up. i found it cathartic, but not all coping is created equal.

subnautica: minecraft but underwater and with much better graphics and some actual art direction. there’s a plot, but i bought it in beta and the plot hadn’t been implemented yet. still, i had a good enough time without a plot to play for over thirty hours. it’s incredibly atmospheric – i’m afraid of the ocean and i felt real terror being down there. half-spoilers, there is land in the game, but you will spend 99.99% of your time in the water, finding ways to dive deeper. there’s probably more to read now in terms of backstory, so you might like that, but i played just for exploring the environments and feeling engaged in the world.

what remains of edith finch: one of those stories that, again, you need to play multiple times to feel the full impact of. it sinks in slowly, but once it clicks, it’s actually a really effective horror experience – which is surprising, because it’s not a horror game. it’s actually barely a game at all. somebody compared it to a pop-up book and i agree. you walk and you read. it’s a walking simulator. there’s a little bit of gameplay here and there, but for the most part, you are there to take in the story. a majority of it is narrated to you, but the things you find that the character misses are extremely telling and important to the plot. again, warning, this is a game heavy on death and existentialism. you witness the death of a baby ( though it’s not explicitly graphic ). you are in first person for all of the deaths. if you have anxiety or you’re superstitious, this could trigger you pretty badly, so be careful, please.

misc. recommendations that i won’t get into in detail: life is strange, undertale, castlevania: symphony of the night, castlevania: aria / dawn of sorrow, castlevania: lords of shadow 2, assassin’s creed iii / black flag, resident evil 7, the uncharted series, until dawn, beyond: two souls, the last of us, the metro series, the path, the park.

[queen-mabs-revenge]

The Twist was Bad Writing and Here’s Why:

What I’m going to try to do right now is explain why I’m extremely dissatisfied with the 6.12 twist but from a purely extra-textual perspective. The thing I’ve found with my previous explanations and some other counter explanations that I’ve read, is that there’s an awful lot of trying to figure out the event within the world – character motivations, character reactions to each other – basically looking at these characters as if they were real people and talking about their interactions with each other. Normally, that’s my bag, but right now I just want to look at the way that the twist was written and why I feel it was inadequate. And that feeling circles around two main ideas:

Killian Jones is a fictional character. His on-screen persona is a deliberate result of choice actions being outlined in the text. Relying on your audience to fill in behavioural aberrations with extrapolation (armchair psychology, external historical context) is bad writing.

Having your character step out of its established on-screen behavioural pattern can be exciting for the narrative, but the more an action that steps outside of the established canon pattern has an effect on the plot and characterisation of the character and its relationships, the more weight it should be given in the narrative. A behavioural twist that results in what may be the most climactic moment of alienation and reconciliation for a character in its entire development should be given due weight (not necessarily long and laboured, but due)

OK let’s get cracking. Because Killian Jones is a fictional character (I just hurt myself OK?) although he shares a lot of characteristics with non-fiction people, everything about his personality, actions, and behavioural patterns are deliberately plotted out. Stories that are told about him are told with a specific purpose in mind: establishing behavioural patterns to either support or subvert as the story progresses. What is shown on screen is definitive canon.

Snow is a hereditary monarch in what seems to be a medieval/renaissance type setting. Historical extrapolation says that she should be mainly concerned about her political power with disregard for the effects of securing that political power on the economic and social well being of her subjects outside of their ability to fund her claims to power. Is that what’s shown on screen? No. We see her going into villages, concerned about the effect Regina’s pursuit is having on people. That’s her behavioural pattern that is established on screen.

I might look at Lieutenant Jones’s uniform and draw conclusions that the royal navy in which he’s positioned must be drawing on the historical tradition of the British navy in the 1700s. If I were to draw conclusions based on his rank and supposed historical context, it would be a safe conclusion to assume that Killian Jones was born and raised a gentleman and that he and Liam participated in keeping order on deck by administering brutal punishment, which in the 18th century, could commonly be meted out in lashes number in the hundreds. But that’s not what we see on screen. We know that their backgrounds are most certainly not rooted in nobility.

Hell, even minor things – Ruby’s a werewolf. Extrapolate from legend and she should only be able to transform at the full moon. But that’s not what has been established on screen.

So when the argument is presented that Killian’s offhanded, brutal, and unmotivated killing of of a pleading Robert should have been expected because he’s a pirate, it doesn’t really work for me. Yes, if this were a biography of a historical pirate, I wouldn’t be in any way shocked at a similar action, but while Killian is a fictional character inhabiting many key tropes, visual and behavioural, of being a pirate, as a fictional character, the only canon is what is on screen. In the same way that I find the anti argument that Killian is indicative of rape culture because he is a pirate and that’s what pirates did unsupported by canon, I find the supposition that random acts of violence should have been expected because he’s a pirate and that’s what pirates did equally unsupported by canon.

The writers have chosen a pattern of Killian’s on screen behaviours that do not involve random acts of lethal violence. Whenever Killian does A Bad Thing, it’s in context of some kind of control being taken away or threatened to be taken away from him (either in respect to his ability to give and receive love or his ability to achieve his revenge). He justifies his viciousness by the context in which perceived wrongs are committed against him. That behavioural pattern is a deliberate choice on the part of the writers and every single kill (and harmful action that didn’t result in, well, murder) has been written in a particular way for a particular reason. We aren’t getting shown flashbacks based on a random date generator, these are the things that the writers have decided are important, essential, to the understanding of Killian’s character (and that’s not even going into the established character trait of literally not giving a fuck about being recognised as a pirate).

Extrapolation based on historical context might be an interesting fanon exercise and one that I engage in like…fucking all the time, but I am not going to hold canon to task for my own personal headcanons, and conversely, I expect canon to stand on its own without my personal headcanons smoothing it out. Up until this moment, Killian Jones partaking in random acts of brutality just because he was a pirate and that’s what pirates do is a fanon construct.

Which brings me to my second point: what about behavioural aberrations? Great. I love them. They make things exciting, they shake up/move along the plot, they cause other characters to react. But they need to be supported by context, especially when they affect a character and its surroundings in major, overarching arc-derailing ways.

Take 6.12 and David. The behavioural patterns that have been set up with David are that he is intent on keeping things together as a leader. He often serves as the balanced, positive voice to other more emotional, sceptical characters. So when he breaks down in the scene outside of King George’s cell, it’s incredibly emotionally resonant – but because there had been a full episode (actually the arc had been established with his refusal to destroy the description of the coin way against Snow’s advice, way back in 6.03) devoted to the build up. If we hadn’t had that whole narrative focus that highlighted the vulnerability behind the strong, stoic veneer, and instead had suddenly opened the door to him weeping at the kitchen table, we would have been shocked, sure, but we wouldn’t have learned what we did about the character through the decision to show his journey to his breakdown on screen.

A pretty big deviation from an established behavioural pattern was given narrative weight in order to show the effect it had on the character’s development and the development of those around him.

So if I’m arguing that Killian stabbing Robert is a behavioural aberration from his established on-screen canon behaviour, then I’m also arguing that for that moment, which is set up to be the past action that will have the greatest in-show effect on his own personal growth and the people around him, to have the gravity that it should have, it should have the narrative weight that the fall out commands.

The show is setting up narrative stakes: the possible derailment of a relationship five seasons in the making at the point when it was on track to take its next step. Love is on the line, friendship is on the line, family is on the line – all things that are absolutely essential to the character they’ve been building. So to pinion the never-before-as-serious stakes on an action that is outside of the on-screen established behaviour pattern of the character without giving narrative weight to the reason for that broken pattern? If that broken pattern creates enormous stakes for a series of main characters, yet gives no insight into the acting character that will be specifically dealt with in the reconciliation?

It rings cheap, smacks of gimmickry, and at this point in the game, at this apex of a redemption arc, I 1) don’t want to have to extrapolate motive from headcanon and 2) I want a reason for a pattern being broken. And that’s why it’s bad writing, IMO.

[colorintrusion]

also. all of the sex romance headcanons. just all of them. please

oh stars above !! this is goin’ under a cut, bc it’s gonna be a long one !!

🌟 What is my muse’s sexual/romantic orientation?

kennith is aromantic and gay !

💦 At what age did my muse lose their virginity?

as a result of childhood trauma, kennith lost his virginity when he was three.

😘 Would my muse have sex on the first date?

absolutely !! he’s not one for dating, but he’d absolutely sleep with someone on the first date. without a heckin doubt

😊 Would my muse ever ask someone on a date?

maybe ? kennith enjoys being treated like a princess, so he’s far less likely to take the initiative and actually ask someone on a date. the only time that would happen is if the person was someone he was really, REALLY into. like greg hoffman for example

👍 Does my muse prefer to be asked on a date, or would they rather do the asking?

he prefers to be asked on a date !!

😉 What are my muse’s fetishes/kinks?

um.. all of them lmAO. kennith’s open to pretty much any kink or fetish – the only stuff he won’t delve into is nasty shit like ddlg, scat, rapeplay, and the like. otherwise, he’s into just about anything. he rlly likes being called pet names – baby boy, princess, sweetheart, baby, peach, etc !! they get him super flustered. he’s loves raunchier ones too (like slut, whore, etc,) but in lesser amounts. he has a big love for hair pulling, eye contact, degradation, biting, scratching, begging, orgasm denial, choking, slapping/spanking, sex toys, bondage– you get the picture !!

💬 When did my muse go on their first date?

he didnt. he died before he had a real date. BUT in a modern au where colorbars doesn’t happen, he’s around uhh 19?? greg prolly forced him into goin hunting for aliens and they fucked in the backseat of his car and called it a date. thats kenniths first date yr welcome

💯 What is my muse’s ideal date?

ohh, lord. he’d love to go somewhere – like out to the movies, or a restaurant, or even to a concert. anywhere away from his boring mundane life. but in truth, that part doesn’t matter to him. what matters to him is that the date ends with him getting eaten out, fucked absolutely senseless, and filled with come. complete with a nice cuddling session afterwards !!

💗 Has my muse ever been in love?

no, and he never will – he’s aromantic !

👠 What was my muse’s last serious relationship like?

kennith’s never had a proper ‘relationship’ but he was in a qpr with steph until they stopped being friends. of course, stephanie didn’t sleep with him, but he didn’t want tht from her. they had a rlly rlly good relationship !! she was super sweet and cared for him a lot. he adored steph, too.. they were absolutely inseparable n spent most of their time cuddling with one another n supporting each other. it eventually fell apart, but it was wonderful whilst it lasted.

… unless you mean in an au, which you don’t, but i’m gonna talk about it anyway because greg and kennith have my whole heart and it’s all grell’s fault, so blame her !! greg n kennith have a WONDERFUL relationship. there’s a slight conflict of interest in that greg is in love with kennith and kennith doesn’t love greg in a romantic sense (though he loves him in every other way,) but they both enjoy their relationship nonetheless. think of it as a qpr-level friends-with-benefits sort of thing. they’re extremely happy together, though their initial few months were jeopardized by kennith’s possessive behaviour. once they remedied that, however, it was smooth sailing from there. they help each other’s mental states enormously, support each other every day, and they’re just the happiest couple around !! oh and between you and me .. the sex is fantastic ;))

👰 Would my muse ever get married?

yeah ! he gets married to greg in me and grell’s modern au ! moreso for tax purposes and other benefits, and to solidify the fact that he is greg’s and greg is his.

🌼 Would my muse prefer a big wedding or a small wedding?

he’d prefer a big wedding, but he knows he doesn’t have enough friends for a big wedding. he’ll settle for a small one with a nice honeymoon.

🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?

sub !! he can be dominant sometimes, but it’s fairly rare. he’s not much of a power bottom – he’s the definition of a pillow princess !!

🏩 What was my muse’s first time like?

uh,, he was raped by his uncle when he was three. it was awful; degrading, disgusting, agonising. just all-around bad.

🎆 Is my muse into monogamy?

definitely. he’s extremely possessive and gets jealous VERY easily due to his bpd. he prefers having one partner all to himself.

💕 Would my muse ever be in a polyamorous relationship?

he kind of is when he’s dating greg and in a qpr with steph, but otherwise, no.

🔥 Would my muse ever be up for a threesome?

absolutely !!

👮 Has my muse ever had sex in public?

yes. him and greg have definitely fucked in the gas station before. on numerous occasions. haven’t gotten caught once !!

💔 What was my muse’s first heartbreak?

in a lovey context ?? probably when steph stopped being his friend.

💑 What are my muse’s requirements for a potential partner?

older than him by at least two years. taller than him. Big. stromg. super creative. musical. stoner. glasses. mullet. awful fashion sense. blond. brown eyes. one-sided conversations. greg hoffman

💋 How many people has my muse slept with?

too many to count, honestly. somewhere in the 70-90 ballpark.

👀 Is my muse the type to sleep around?

is this even a question.. the answer is YES

👎 Would my muse ever cheat on their partner?

OOF. a loaded question. kennith suffers from histrionic personality disorder, so he can be incredibly hypersexual, and his bpd makes him impulsive. if he cheated on his partner, it’d be because of that – i don’t think he’d actually want to cheat on a partner unless it was someone he only got with for monetary gain or smthn.

😳 What was my muse’s worst romantic/sexual relationship?

he’s defo slept with a few of his teachers before, so .. prolly that. otherwise, his modern au relationship w christopher pierre is a fucking wreck. abuse, violence, blackmail, threats.. yikey.

💲Would my muse ever date/marry/sleep with someone because they were rich?

YES DEFINITELY !!

👓 Would my muse ever lie for sex?

yep.

👿 Would my muse ever blackmail someone into sex?

no, never. he’s not about that.

🎥 Who is my muse’s celebrity crush?

does greg count

🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know?

d. does greg count

💍 Has my muse ever had a one-night stand?

multiple !

💝 Does my muse like Valentine’s Day?

he thinks it’s bullshit tbh, but he won’t refuse any presents he’s given.

💘 What are the ways my muse says ‘I love you’ without actually saying it?

he’s the kind of person to show it through teasing. sometimes he’s outwardly affectionate with it, but most times its hidden behind layers of sarcasm and thinly veiled insults. another way is his worrying abt others; he’ll always check up on the people he loves, asking if they’ve eaten anything, or telling them to be careful, things like that