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duckymcdoorknob · 4 years ago

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BNHA Boys Headcannons:

He Hears You Sing for the First Time.

Hi fellas!! Welcome to my BNHA headcannons! I wanted to write something other than my normal fics, so I’ll be posting a master list of these scenarios and updating them mostly bi-weekly! ❤️✨

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Katsuki Bakugo:

Tonight was a calm night during the sports festival. Classes 1-A and 1-B were at a shady bar, engaged in a heavy karaoke contest. It all started with a certain Monoma deciding that 1-B could be superior to 1-A in anything they wanted. Jirou decided to pick a karaoke contest.

Inside, you were mentally cursing yourself. You had never revealed your talent and it didn’t match with your quirk whatsoever. Nonetheless, If it would get that corn-headed bastard to shut up, you were willing to make a personal sacrifice.

After Jirou finished her rendition of I Hate Myself for Lovin’ You, she received almost max on the applause-o-meter. Next it was Tetsutetsu’s turn. You spaced out trying to figure out what you were going to sing. Then it hit. The best song. You didn’t even have to sing, just speak fast. It was perfect.

Tetsutetsu received low applause, making you feel bad in a way, but not too much.

“Next to the stage. Class 1-A, (Y/N) Tamayaki” Monoma announced.

As you passed by him, he flicked your shoulder. You turned your head and scowled at him, “if you’re scared about me beating your 5 on the meter...” you walked on the stage and tapped the mic, “you should be.”

You whispered to the DJ, selecting your most straightforward repertoire song, It’s The End of The World As We Know It

The familiar tinking of the intro played, gaining some hoots and hollers from the crowds. You took to the microphone, “that’s great it starts with an earthquake, birds, snakes and aeroplanes, Lenny Bruce is not afraid”

You masterfully complete the first verse, without a misstep or stutter. Seeing Monoma look like a deer in headlights made it all the more satisfying. When moving into the chorus, you notice a head full of blonde spikes walk through the door.

“Six o’ clock, Tv hour...” you spoke so fluidly it was almost mechanical. The usually stoic boy turned to look at you with a hint of shock in face. You moved through the second verse with a little wobble, mixing a word or two after seeing the explosive blonde.

“The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mt. St. Edelide...”

After the entirety of the bar shouted “Leonard Bernstein” at you, your turn was almost up. You finished the song with full power in your voice.

The audience erupted into boisterous cheering, leaving you dazed on the stage. Jirou ushered you away with a, “why the hell didn’t you tell us you sang?”

As you passed by Bakugo, you felt a rough hand on your shoulder.

“Oy extra,” a gruff voice sounded, “that was pretty damn cool. Since when do you do that shit?”

Your cockiness from Monoma never left you, “it’s always been there, pretty boy, just never let anyone know it.” You get on your toes and whisper in his ear, “it goes much deeper than this. Let me know when you want to hear more.”

You walk off with Jirou, earning a high five from her. Bakugo stood dumbfounded. Maybe you weren’t an extra after all.

Izuku Midoriya:

Class 1-A’s antics never did end. Kirishima insisted on the whole class hearing his singing voice, a god awful one may I add. So, the class was broken out into full on song.

You had never shown anyone you could sing, it just didn’t fit with your quirk. So you held it off. As soon as the whole ordeal started growing, you found yourself walking to the front of the school.

You plant down on a bench, plugging in your earbuds. You scroll through your Spotify playlist, but ultimately let it shuffle. You un-tensed as the beginning of The Boys of Summer echoed in your ears. You closed your eyes and let lazy lyrics escape your lips.

“Nobody on the road, nobody on the beach...” you quietly echoed the song.

This was the true symbol of peace: no one to bother you while you listened to a bomb ass song. You didn’t notice the added weight on the bench next to you until it was too late.

“Well I can see you, your brown skin shining in the sun...” you quietly let the words escape your lips like clockwork.

You opened your eyes to take in the world around you. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you saw Izuku sitting right next to you.

“I-uh h-h-hi! Sorry to bother you, but you just disappeared. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

You chuckled softly. How could you be mad at this stuttering mess?

“Um (Y-Y-Y/N)? C-could you keep singing for me?” Izuku was flushed. He was embarrassed with himself, clearly.

You let out a soft breath of air, your lips curving into a smile. You let the next words of the song release from you. You leaned back onto Izuku’s lap, not thinking anything of it. You felt the boy tense up in your lap, but he ultimately relaxed and began to play with your hair.

Okay you lied, this was the true symbol of peace. You spent the whole afternoon in the same position; singing along to whatever song happened to be next in the shuffle.

Denki Kaminari: (got a little carried away here. I’m a Kami hoe)

Certain days bring certain events that you can never plan for. The spring festival most definitely had the it’s surprises in store.

You were hanging out with your friends, Mina, Bakugo, Kirishima, Sero and Kaminari. Today has been the best day you’ve ever experienced. So many fun filled events! Bakugo dominated ring toss and won a giant stuffed zebra for himself, plus a giant stuffed Pikachu for Denki. Sero won the ropes course, receiving a small teddy bear. Mina and Kirishima took on a milk bottle toss, in which they both walked away with a stuffie of their own.

“(Y/N)-Chan! You haven’t won a prize yet! What game can we all play to get one?” Mina chimed

“Oh! I’m not sure! I’m not very athletically inclined, if you catch my drift.” You rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment.

“That’s okay! Neither am I, I just have a good throwing arm” Mina beamed back in response.

You gave her a closed-eyed grin as you continued with the group. You had to admit that you wanted a stuffie of your own, but how were you supposed to win one?

“Ooooh! Look! Look!” Kirishima’s voice suddenly rang.

You look up to see a midsize stage, a huge crowd of your fellow students and Present Mic setting up a microphone. This should be good...

“Attention studennnnntsssssaah!” A booming voice echoed through the field, “come to the stage for a cool talent show! Winner receives a speeeeeecial prizzzeee!~”

You looked at Kiri with furrowed eyebrows. You hadn’t told anyone about your singing voice yet, so you played dumb.

“What could I possibly bring to the stage? My quirk? You’ve all seen it already.” You snapped in defense while fiddling with your hair.

“You can sing! I heard you humming in the common room!” Kirishima bit back in rebuttal.

“That doesn’t mean a damn thing! And even if I could, Ive got tons of other people to go against!”

You looked amongst your friends, who all had the same look in their eyes. You hung your head down and went to Present Mic to sign up.

After a few minutes, your name was called. You mentally cursed yourself as you shuffled onto the stage.

“Next in our competition, (Y/N) Tamayaki!” Present Mic announced.

You looked at Kirishima, who gave you a thumbs up. As the music started, you sucked in a breath. This is it. The tempo grows and accompaniment becomes more intense. You can’t help but smile.

“Movin’ on the floor now baby, you’re a bird of paradise” you began to sing.

Kirishima cheered. Rio was a favorite amongst you and Kiri. You moved through the first verse with great ease.

“Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand.” You were feeling free, not holding back a bit. You sang your heart out through the next verse, masterfully completed the second chorus, and chuckled as the instrumental break sounded.

As the saxophone began to play, you felt a hand on yours and soon you were spun around. Kirishima has come up to the stage to get you to “loosen up”, but he just wanted to perform with you.

“You make me feel alive, alive alive! Luck is on my side or somethin’, I know what you’re thinkin!” You chimed as Kirishima spun you again.

You started the final chorus, while Kirishima beckoned the whole audience to sing. They all obliged except for one...

A dazed Denki stood with a pink tinge on his cheeks. He was awestruck for sure, for you had never revealed this side of you to him.

As the song ended, you stuck your microphone up in the air and smiled wide. The audience roared in applause, and you won a (favorite animal) plushie.

You exited the stage and tried to grab the voluptuous plushie, but it was so heavy you stumbled backwards.

“Woa-! Careful (Y/N)!” Kaminari cried as he caught you by your underarms, “dude! What the hell that was SO cool!!”

You chuckled and helped yourself to your feet, taking one end of the plush and Kami on the other. You both met with your group while Kaminari pestered you with questions.

Ejirou Kirishima:

Finally! Your first semester of U.A High was complete! Today was a great day for you and your classmates to hang out. So, you and your friend group decided to go have lunch somewhere fun.

“Oye Bakugo, I don’t know If I’m comfortable with you driving. Especially considering you road rage something awful.” Denki intervened your thoughts.

“Oh yeah definitely. Do not let blasty over here behind the wheel.” You agreed.

Bakugo glared daggers at the two of you. “I’m a more than adEQUATE DRIVER THANK YOU!”

“You’re welcome! But you’re not driving.” You chimed in response, “Kirishima can”

“Hell yeah!” Kirishima beamed as he trudged to the driver’s seat of his Mustang.

Bakugo called shotgun first, so you were stuck in the backseat with Denki and Sero. Middle set between these two tricksters? Can’t be as innocent as it seems.

Nonetheless, Kirishima started up the car and put the top down. “We’re riding in style today my friends.”

You chuckled and relaxed in your seat. It would be about a 45 minute drive to go where you all agreed, but it would be a fun one. Kirishima turned on his spotify, letting it shuffle. Some slow song came on and you felt your eyes get heavy...

All of the sudden, you saw your eyelids again. You opened your eyes to see that you had fallen asleep on Kami’s shoulder, and that he had done the same.

“Long day at the mill I guess?” Kirishima asked, looking at you in the rear-view mirror with a grin.

You chuckled softly, he was right. You definitely needed that nap. At that moment, your favorite song played on Kirishima’s spotify, Fallen Angel by Poison.

“WAIT! You’re a poison fan too?!” You shot up, forgetting about poor Kaminari on your shoulder. The boy woke up upon impact with the seat, and you gave him an amused puff of air.

“Jeez (y/n) I let you sleep on my shoulder and tried not to move you. But all of the sudden the tables turn and you don’t do the same? Not cool.” Denki said with a pout.

“BUT LISTEN TO THE SONG!” You chimed.

“It’s just guitar right now.” Kaminari responded as he yawned.

“ITS SO MUCH BETTER THOUGH!” You cried, “She stepped off the bus and out into the city streets.” You began to sing.

Kirishima looked in the rear-view again. He saw you absolutely jamming as you sang. He smiled fondly and turned his attention back to the road.

“Just a step away from the edge of the fall. Sometimes you can’t choose-“

“It’s like a heads you win, tails you’re gonna lose!” Kirishima started to sing with you.

“WIN BIG, MAMA’S FALLEN ANGEL, LOSE BIG, LIVIN’ OUT HER LIES.” You both erupted in to song, causing an angry Bakugo to roll his eyes and let out a fond scoff.

You and Kirishima sang your hearts out until the song ended. You repeated this pattern with all of Kirishima’s other music. You and this boy shared such similar music taste.

Kaminari and Bakugo tried to be annoyed, but they couldn’t seem to find a reason to not be amused. When a song you all knew came on, everyone started singing, even Bakugo. Upon arrival at the restaurant, everyone was smiling and ready for a nice lunch.

“I never knew you had such a nice voice (y/n)!” Kirishima cooed, “you and Jirou should totally team up and make music together!”

Your face heated up. “Oh- uh! Heh, thanks Kiri! I’m happy to hear that you’re a man of culture as well. Not many people our age know about Poison.” You rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment.

Kirishima’s eyebrows raised with excitement, “oh yeah! I love older music! There’s just something about it! I mean the backing music isn’t the main focus of the song, it’s like an accompaniment for the vocals and-“

“Jesus Christ Kirishima. Get a fucking room you two, you sound like Deku with all that rambling” Bakugo’s annoyed voice sounded. You both felt your faces heat up at the comment, walking into the restaurant with a new idea in both of your minds.

Shoto Todoroki: (got carried away here too uwu)

A lonely rainy day. The boys were all at the pool for some “extra training”. It was close to your birthday and the girls were out to find a present for you. You chuckled softly at the thought. You knew straight away what the girls were planning.

“(Y/n) Chan!” Uraraka’s voice echoed through your thoughts, “were going to the shop to get a-“ she cut herself off, “some snacks for you today! We want to get some (favorite chip flavor) chips!” She beamed.

You nodded in response with a goofy grin. They’re the best friends you could ask for. All of the girls took off in an instant, leaving you in the dorms by yourself.

“Waste not want not.” You hummed to yourself as you made your way into the common room. You prepared yourself a mug of (favorite warm drink) (hot choccy gang) and planted down by the large bay window.

The world was silent. Nothing daring to make a sound, but the pitter-patter of the rain outside of the window. You sighed with great satisfaction. How could this day possibly get better? You grabbed your phone and earbuds from the couch and turned on your Spotify.

“Well... it’s just me here. I can practice my audition music if I wanted.” You thought out loud. You clicked in the playlist containing all of the songs that suited your voice the most.

You instantly relaxed and prepared to start as the familiar tweets and twitters of Green Finch and Linnet Bird played through your earbuds.

“Green finch and linnet bird, nightingale, blackbird, how is it you sing?” You began to softly sing, “how can you jubilate sitting in cages, never taking wing?”

You stared out the window, as if you were acting out the scene yourself, “Outside the sky waits beckoning, beckoning, just beyond the bars.” You stood to your feet and let the music run through you. No one was here to judge you, no one could laugh or glare or, in Bakugo’s case, sneer at you. “How can you remain, staring at the rain? Maddened by the stars?”

You were now in the center of the room, sitting on the couch. “How is it you sing? Anything?” The music crescendoed into a melodious break. You continued to the window, singing the song ever so softly, as if you were singing a lullaby. “Green finch and linnet bird, nightingale, blackbird, teach me how to sing.”

The rain fell harder as you plopped down on the window ledge, “if I cannot fly... let me sing.” You stared out the window with a soft smile on your face. Yes... this is the best way to spend your birthday. Completely alone, cup of (drink) in hand, singing your heart out... Nothing could beat it.

You noticed that you were out of (drink) and returned to the kitchen to pour yourself some more. Upon exiting, the cord of your earbuds snagged along the handle of a drawer. Before you had time to react, a small beam of ice froze your drink, keeping you from burning yourself.

“Are you alright, Tamayaki?”

You stood dazed, unable to process everything. Your mouth sat agape as you tried to usher a sentence.

“(Y/N)? Everything’s fine, you didn’t fall, I caught you.”

That’s when you noticed the arm gripped around yours. You turned to meet the concerned eye of your best friend, Shoto Todoroki.

“A-Ah! Gomenasai Todoroki-San!” You stuttered as your face heated up, “gee how embarrassing.”

Todoroki simply grinned with an exhale of air. Your eyes widened and eyebrows furrowed as you swallowed, “that means you’ve been here the whole time... and you heard me-“

“Singing? Yes. Your voice is quite beautiful. It was a great accompaniment to my embroidering.” Todoroki admitted with a soft smile.

“-was gonna say talk to myself but...” you covered your face with your hands, “no one’s ever heard me sing before! I was always so careful!”

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed. You truly have a gift.” Todoroki said softly, “if you don’t mind, I would like to embroider while you sing to me.”

You pondered. “Well you’ve already heard me, so there’s no sense in hiding. But, I do need some more (drink), because you kinda like froze my original cup.” Shoto nodded with a chuckle and turned on his heel to grab his supplies.

You smiled and retreated to the kitchen for a new cup of (drink). You then sat down on the couch, scrolling through your playlist to find something slow and quiet. When you felt the ouch weigh down next to you, you absentmindedly rested your head on his shoulder.

“Happy birthday (Y/N). Such a peaceful afternoon must be a gift.”

“Hanging with you is a gift enough.” You muttered, hoping he wouldn’t hear you.

“I feel the same. Now, I want to hear your beautiful voice again. Hop to it.” Shoto gently commanded.

You obliged and spent your quiet time with him. Hours passed and still you both sat, attention on each of your hobbies. Nothing could ruin this incredible moment. Until Uraraka bursted through the door, causing you to spill an entire mug of scalding (drink) in your lap...

“Happy friggin birthday.” You cringed as Todoroki patted your lap with a cold dish towel.

#bnha #mha #deku #midoriya #my hero academia #Bakugo #Katsuki #mha Bakugo #bakugou katsuki #mha todoroki #shoto todoroki #todoroki #shouto todoroki #denki x you #denki kaminari #Kaminari #Kirishima #ejirou

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deathbydarkelves · 3 years ago

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I decided to make playlists for Cathala and Tarinne plus explanations for why I chose each song because I entered one of those ADHD fugue states and if I didn't finish this task I would die

Anyway here are the two links (they're youtube playlists because I don't have spotify. I would obviously recommend using an adblocker if you're just gonna watch on youtube) and the explanations for each song are below the cut :) Each playlist is about an hour long.

For Tarinne’s:

1. Foggy Nights: I consider this her theme so putting it first as a sort of intro only makes sense.

2. Here’s a Health to the Company: I think this works as an example of her general disposition. She’s a people person, and always a fan of singing these sorts of songs in taverns, on ships, or what have you. It also kind of feels like a sendoff to soldiers, which I imagine symbolizes her joining the Sentinel Army and quickly thereafter fighting in the Third War.

3. Wartime Prayers: Somewhat self-explanatory, this is symbolizing her seeing war for the first time, but I also included it because the last line transitions SO WELL into the next song.

4. The Hollow: This song is an intro to an album I've never heard so I don't know the context, but I really love it because it sounds like someone praying to their deity and like I mean c'mon. Elune. Tarinne's praying to Elune to guide her through the war. Do I need to elabo-

5. Wave Walker: KILL DEATH MAIM AHAHAHAHA

6. Isil Elun’falo: Just a super rad fan-made night elf song that's basically "wow we sure do love Elune" said in twenty different ways for four and a half minutes. But it ROCKS and I LOVE it.

7. Chewing Cotton Wool: This song is about losing a loved one (I did have to check but yeah that's what it is) and I use it to symbolize Tarinne losing her mom during the war. The last line, which includes the song's title, I especially like. It's referring to how morticians (apparently) put cotton gauze in a corpse's throat and mouth to keep body fluids in and make the face look more natural. So there's a fun fact for you.

8. See U Soon (Song for Dad): Just a short lofi piece to rest a bit, and it was also chosen because the title's in reference to Tarinne growing closer to her dad after losing her mom. She still visits him at his leathers and furs shop in Stormwind fairly often, especially after dangerous adventures. She just wants to make sure he knows she's alright ;-;

9. No Lullaby: Right back into it with a song that I use to represent Tarinne's general feeling of not being able to go home because it's not there anymore. She's felt like this since the end of the Third War, but it's especially strong since the whole Teldrassil thing. But I like the ending, "who said you're on your own," because it contrasts the repeating of "alone" in the rest of the song. And it's kinda like "hey, listen, you're not the only one who feels like she can't go home." I mean that's probably how basically every single night elf feels right now skxnks

10. The Moss: This song juxtaposes classic fairy tales with scientific facts about the world and I love it to BITS. I'm using it here to represent both Tarinne's love for storytelling but also her sort of... part-time historian/archaeologist/conservator career.

11. Rasputin: I just associate this song with her for some reason and this was the best place to put it.

12. Electric Feel: Moving on to focus more on Tarinne's relationship with Cathala now. This is an extremely great and somewhat 😏 song that I also included because the electricity theme is appropriate because Cathala has lightning powers and y'know it's from Tarinne's perspective or whatever.

13. Bedroom Hymns: You know why this is here.

14. Movement: I can't talk about love songs without talking about Hozier, okay. This is just a nice, slower song to relax a bit with.

15. Never Let Me Go: I have an entire goddamn music video in my head with Cathala and Tarinne for this song and it’s very dramatic and emotional and I had to include this song or I’d die. Basically just listen to near the end of this song when she's repeating the title over and over, and imagine the two of them seeing each other at opposite ends of a battlefield after the dust settles and they rush towards each other and fall to their knees holding on as tightly as they can because they got separated early on and each thought the other was dead. Then you'll know how I feel when I listen to this song.

16. Nothing That Has Happened So Far Has Been Anything We Could Control: First of all I love the title, and second of all there's a big section in the middle (1:49 to 2:47) that I like to interpret as the two of them grappling with the fact that they're not really quite sure who or what they're fighting for anymore. Their people, yeah, but there's so many alliances and semi-permanent enemies and only-on-every-other-thursday-enemies all intertwined and the world is just so very confusing and they're trying to make the best of it. Elf school didn’t include international, interracial politics in its curriculum. It did however include how to properly plant trees, and AP calculus (this is a joke).

17. In Dreams: I like to imagine this song is something the two of them would say to each other, as a way of saying “even when everything we know is gone, even when the world ends, I will still be by your side. And if I’m not, don’t fear, for I will find you.” It makes a nice note to end on :)

For Cathala’s:

1. muse: Just a nice lofi intro to get us into things :) I don't see this song as her theme, like I do with Tarinne and the first song in her playlist, but I like it quite a bit. I don't actually really have a theme for Cathala yet, I'm currently going with a version of Way of the Monk from WoW's OST but I'm still looking for something better.

2. Frogs Singing: I included this because it's about just appreciating nature, which works because night elf and also mindfulness and meditation is a whole thing.

3. Tongues: This is a song about feeling distant from your peers which is like Cathala's whole existence! She's this weird mix of two cultures and ultimately she feels out of place regardless of where she is or who she's with. Also the theme with not understanding what people are saying works because the poor woman had to learn Pandaren from scratch and that shit ain't easy. I think blizz said somewhere probably that Common is just a language that EVERYONE knows inherently because Video Game but that's bullshit in my opinion. I'll allow spells that let you understand foreign languages to an extent (Comprehend Languages from D&D lets you understand the LITERAL meaning only, which I like), but every culture and species in the universe knowing Common is silly if you think about it for more than two seconds.

4. Kung Fu Fighting: I'm legally required to include this song. Also I prefer the Kung Fu Panda version, I'm sorry.

5. Harder Better Faster Stronger: I vicariously experience having a great work ethic through Cathala and that's why this song is here because she has 999 Determination and does Too Many push-ups every day or something idk. I was gonna say "every morning" but I have a headcanon that elves only need to sleep every couple of days (sort of a nod to "elves don't need to sleep at all" from D&D, and to explain why NIGHT elves are active at all hours of the day) so that doesn't work.

6. What's Up Danger: This song is Cathala's whole Vibe. Almost zero threat assessment skills in this woman's brain. If it can be punched, she will punch it.

7. Eye for an Eye: Fairly self-explanatory, it's a song about wanting revenge so... yeah. Checked that box. It was this or The Vengeful One by Disturbed but ultimately The Vengeful One's religious symbolism probably makes it fit better as a Tyrande theme lol ("I'm the hand of god, I'm the dark messiah." Did you mean: the Night Warrior)

8. Survivor: Cathala's survived a lot of shit and this could kinda be her making fun of herself for it because "Gods, man! Don't I deserve a break!"

9. Ashes: Really the reason I include this song is the last chunk (2:42 to the end) because holy shit. Listen, if I was gonna include a song with fire motifs, it was gonna be a somber one like this.

10. Into the West: This can kinda represent Cathala just trying to fucking breathe and recover from Teldrassil. Also works because I dunno it has stuff to do with the elves in LotR, I haven't seen those movies in a while. It sounds nice and is melancholy so I included it.

11. Like Real People Do: Cathala loves Tarinne a lot you guys have I ever menti-

12. Into the Wild: Tarinne changed Cathala's world for the better and she's super fucking grateful she has her by her side. Kinda goes without saying but you know.

13. Chasing the Moon: I have a vague music video in my head for this of them falling in love and it's very cute so there's that. Also it's in this specific spot because hey she may be deeply traumatized but she's still got a fair number of things/people in her life that make her happy so :)

14. Follow My Girl: I've got a theme going in my head that while Tarinne is fairly certain of her place in the world, Cathala is still trying to find hers. She outlived all her connections on Pandaria because Elf Lifespans(tm) and the only members of her family still alive are distant relatives she never knew very well.

15. Wish That You Were Here: This works both to represent Cathala on Pandaria feeling super homesick, and for more recently after Teldrassil. Either way, it's a message to her parents and sister.

16. Mr. Fear: She does her damnedest to hide it but she's absolutely terrified something like Teldrassil's gonna happen again! That fear drives her to do everything in her power to protect who and what she can. As long as they're not Forsaken, cause she's still got her biases, that compassion even extends across faction lines. She never really got the whole Alliance/Horde thing anyway. Innocent people shouldn't have to die, regardless of who or what they are.

17. Ordinary Day: Not to get super out there but I think this song works as symbolizing Cathala really trying to hold on to her faith in Elune, but ultimately feeling pretty abandoned. I mean she can clearly see Elune's influence everywhere. But Elune sure ain't doing Cathala any favors as far as she can tell! It also ends the whole playlist on maybe a bit of an uncertain/open-ended note, because this "losing faith" aspect is a new thing with her and will definitely be something she continues to struggle with for a while. On a related note, I should say Tarinne is still very much devout but she gets what Cathala's feeling and doesn't force anything on her, and vice versa. And Cathala wouldn't become atheist, the night elves aren't monotheistic and she still worships all the other deities, it's just specifically Elune she's a little :/ on.

#cathala #tarinne #oc playlist

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whats-rambled-rambled · 4 years ago

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Stuck in reverse - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Okay, let’s talk about it!

Sam Smith – Fix you

I remember crying to the original song (by Coldplay) back in 2005. Whoo boy, lots of teenage feelings!

I’m not the biggest fan of Sam Smith’s music, but one day I was just driving home from work and this song began playing on the radio and by the end of it I could barely see the road.

// When you try your best, but you don’t succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can’t replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse? //

That one line – stuck in reverse – felt just so perfect for a story set in the universe where people invert themselves back and forth.

It became one of the three main songs that inspired me to write the whole damn thing, and also the only title in the story that is not a title of a song as well.

Chapter 1: Ben Platt – Ease my mind

This is one of the songs I have on my daily playlist, I just love it, and the lyrics are so fitting:

//Most days I wake up with a pit in my chest There are thoughts that I can’t put to rest There’s a worry that I can’t place

Most nights, I am restless and quiet won’t come So I lay there and wait for the sun There’s a trouble that won’t show its face

You came out of nowhere and you cut through all the noise I make sense to the madness when I listen to your voice//

We learn more about the nightmares in the next chapters, but it all starts here. That melancholic vibe stuck with me for the rest of the story I guess.

Bonus song: Lewis Capaldi - Before you go

The combat scene in one song, or at least what I imagined was going through Reader’s mind at that point.

//I fell by the wayside like everyone else I hate you, I hate you, I hate you but I was just kidding myself Our every moment, I start to replace ‘Cause now that they’re gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say When you hurt under the surface Like troubled water running cold Well, time can heal but this won’t//

Have you ever felt that way? Trying to hide your broken heart under anger? I don’t know, it just resonated deeply.

The second part of the song kinda seeped into the next chapter:

//Was there something I could’ve said To make your heart beat better? If only I’d have known you had a storm to weather

//Would we be better off by now If I’d have let my walls come down? Maybe, I guess we’ll never know//

Chapter 2: Kaleo - I can’t go on without you

Another song from my daily playlists (side note – I saw Kaleo once live on a music festival and they were mind-blowing, you should really check out more of their work).

It worked with the story because of its desperate and painful mood.

Bonus: Calum Scott - Dancing on my own

Holy shit, I FELT this one. (Been there, done that). Of course I had to write it into Reader’s past. Actually, I wrote it first and then found the song, but it doesn’t matter, that’s the flashback scene right here:

//Somebody said you got a new friend Does she love you better than I can? And there’s a big black sky over my town I know where you’re at, I bet she’s around And yeah, I know it’s stupid But I just gotta see it for myself I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, I’m right over here, why can’t you see me? And I’m giving it my all //

Chapter 3: Billie Eilish – Bad guy

No feels, pure bop. This song is so BADASS, I really needed to get that vibe into the undercover mission, I didn’t want Reader to be an emotional mess and nothing else, you know?

Bonus: Tones and I – Dance Monkey

I shit you not, I’ve had that one on repeat for the dance scene. There is something incredibly seductive in that beat, I just couldn’t get it out of my head.

Bonus: Kings of Leon – Closer

It just makes my heart clench and leaves me breathless.

Chapter 4: Ben Platt – Bad habit

Ah, that was the moment when I cursed at myself for using Ease my mind for chapter 1, but we already talked about it.

Even though this song is very emotional, it’s not that heartbreaking, you can hear a faint smile here and there and it just makes my heart sing.

And oh my god, those lyrics:

//You always said that I’d come back to you again ‘Cause everybody needs a friend, it’s true Someone to quiet the voices in my head Make ‘em sing to me instead, it’s you Hate to say that I love you Hate to say that I need you Hate to say that I want you But I do Bad habit, I know But I’m needin’ you right now Can you help me out? Can I lean on you? Been one of those days Sun don’t wanna come out Can you help me out? Can I lean on you?//

They just work with that plot, you know?

Bonus: Dodie – Sick of losing soulmates

Another song that just resonates with the story.

//What a strange being you are, God knows where I would be If you hadn’t found me, sitting all alone in the dark A dumb screenshot of youth Watch how a cold broken teen Will desperately lean on a superglued human of proof

What the hell would I be, without you (what the hell would I be) Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth (hide the truth)

'Cause I’m sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin I can finally see, you’re as fucked up as me So how do we win?//

Chapter 5: Adele – Someone like you

The whole damn sunset scene + this song on repeat = feels

The pain in her voice? God, it just reduces me to a puddle of tears.

Reader could just sing it at some point to Neil almost word for word.

Bonus: Passenger – Let her go

Okay, the case of that one is quite funny, because I kinda needed to figure out how to get from point A to point B of the chapter, and I was browsing Spotify looking for „campfire songs” or something like that. Of course I’ve heard this one before, but I’ve never actually focused on the lyrics.

And oh boy, suddenly it all became clear.

Headcanon time – in my head, Wheeler and Neil are close friends, she treats him a bit like a younger brother, I just can imagine they know each other very well at that point. Of course she knows hows about his past. Of course she heard about Reader. And she thinks they are both silly babies and they should just kiss, right? That’s why she chooses that song.

Those lyrics – they fit Neil’s backstory so damn well.

//Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go//

And he was stupid enough to let her go. Because his timing was off.

Those lyrics are also perfect to make Reader think about his ex-girlfriend, because of course that is what you’re gonna it’s all about.

Bonus: Del Amitri – Tell her this

Ahh, there it is – the second out of three main songs for Stuck in Reverse.

I remember the moment I found out that Rob Pattinson sings and writes music, then I listened to some of the songs and my heart went whoooosh. So I just had to make Neil play a guitar, I just needed to find out what song would be The One.

Do you remember that flashback about them both watching a tv show on his couch? Here, you’re welcome.

I recently started rewatching Scrubs and when I got to that episode – ding, ding, ding!

This is the ultimate “hey, I fucked up, I shouldn’t have let you go, I’m an idiot and I love you.”

Chapter 6: Imagine Dragons – Next to me

I adore that song. It warms my heart. I think it fits Neil and Reader’s relationship.

And I needed all the fluffy feelings to switch the tone of the story to something lighter.

Bonus: Michelle Branch – Everywhere

This one is a silly bop, and it always puts me in a good mood. A nice song to listen to when you are happy, in love, and you are making breakfast.

Bonus: Ashlee Simpson – Pieces of me

This one (same as the one before) came to me from Zach Braff’s workout playlist, haha. I mean I almost forgot about it, but it makes me smile every time I hear it, and the lyrics work nicely:

//On a Monday I am waiting Tuesday I am fading And By Wednesday I can’t sleep Then the phone rings I hear you And the darkness is a clear view Cause you’ve come to rescue me

Fall, with you I fall so fast I can hardly catch my breath I hope it lasts

It seems like I can finally Rest my head on something real I like the way that feels It’s as if you know me better Than I ever knew myself I love how you can tell All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me//

Bonus: Kaleo – I want more

Is there such a thing as a warm melancholy? Because that is a vibe I get from that song.

//Turn back, leave all you had Forgive, I’ll forget 'Cause what we need is what we once had Time won’t stand still Just say you will 'Cause I need you there and now

If you leap, I’ll come falling too Running deep 'til that rivers through I don’t mind what you have to do 'Cause I won’t think less, less of you

Yes, I want more, more Looking for more I want more, more 'Cause I want more

Old grounds Feels like the weight has been lifted away So don’t you leave me there wanting more//

Chapter 7: Ben Platt – In case you don’t live forever

I mean it’s not my fault that Ben’s songs make me FEEL things, damn it.

The whole damn song = utter heartbreak when you think about Neil coming back to Reader before he goes back to Stalsk-12 to open that damn lock.

//I, I’ve carried this song in my mind Listen, it’s echoing in me But I haven’t helped you to hear it We, we’ve only got so much time I’m pretty sure it would kill me If you didn’t know the pieces of me are pieces of you

I’ve waited way too long to say Everything you mean to me

In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now I love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth I’m everything that I am because of you//

Bonus: Charlene Soraia – Wherever you will go

Why am I doing this to you? Because we all like pain.

This one is for the scene on the deck:

//So lately, been wondering Who will be there to take my place When I’m gone you’ll need love to light the shadows on your face If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all Then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would I’ll go wherever you will go Way up high or down low, I’ll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I’ll find out A way to make it back someday To watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all Then I hope there’s someone out there who can bring me back to you//

Bonus: Rhys Lewis – No right to love you

No light, only pain and suffering.

//'Cause I have no right to love you When I chose to walk away I have no right to miss you When I didn’t wanna stay And I have no right to need you And I knew what my heart was gonna lose I have no right to love you But I do, I still do Yeah, I still do//

Bonus: Knox Brown x Gallant – Reignite

This song is just so incredible, it makes my palms sweat and my mind going places. Yep, it was on repeat.

Oh you know which scene this one is for.

Bonus: Freya Ridings – Lost without you

The last dialogue. On repeat. Because this song breaks my heart and leaves me a sobbing mess.

//Strangers rushin’ past Just tryna get home But you were the only Safehaven that I’ve known Hits me at full speed Feel like I can’t breathe And nobody knows This pain inside me My world is crumbling I should never Let you go I think I’m lost without you//

(OI, SPOILERS)

Chapter 8: Florence + The Machine – Never let me go

I have only one thing to say:

Fuck you, Nolan.

Third out of three.

//And it’s over and I’m going under

But I’m not giving up I’m just giving in

Oh, slipping underneath So cold and so sweet

In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold And all this devotion, well, I never knew at all And the questions I have for a sinner released In the arms of the ocean deliver me

(Never let me go, never let me go Never let me go, never let me go)//

Bonus: Sasha Sloan - Dancing with your ghost

Suffer with me.

//Yelling at the sky Screaming at the world Baby, why’d you go away? I’m still your girl Holding on too tight Head up in the clouds Heaven only knows Where you are now

How do I love How do I love again? How do I trust How do I trust again?

I stay up all night Tell myself I’m alright Baby, you’re just harder to see than most I put the record on Wait 'til I hear our song Every night I’m dancing with your ghost Every night I’m dancing with your ghost//

#stuck in reverse playlist #stuck in reverse #bts stuck in reverse #im gonna make yall suffer with me

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absynthe--minded · 5 years ago

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Blessed Hands Will Break Me: The Official Playlist

listen on spotify // listen on youtube

cover art by @princess-faelivrin

Okay. So. I’m gonna try and walk you all through this playlist? It’s a combination of “songs I listened to while writing” and “songs that just have A Vibe”; it’s a little over an hour in length. It’s vaguely meant to evoke the flow of the story, but there’s a little back and forth to facilitate a better listening experience and make it less jarring.

Survivor - Oceans: (And I can’t help but wonder out loud ‘If only we could go back to square one, if finally we could pinpoint where we lost touch, I’d stand alone reaching out my hand to you’) This is where we start the story, more or less, with Findekáno confused and lost and a little angry. It’s a song about separation, about not knowing which way is up or down, about wishing you could rekindle a lost relationship and being a little desperate to do whatever is necessary to fulfill that wish. Also the music and the production create this wonderfully mournful tone; I do get the impression of speeding across a dark ocean with nothing but pain behind and uncertainty ahead.

Emilie Autumn - Castle Down: (Trying to balance all that I had left with what I didn’t have anymore) Findekáno finding out about Maitimo’s capture, and being lost, and trying to rebuild his psyche after such a devastating blow, and wrestling with the fact that his husband is both his savior and his destroyer in one.

Shinedown - If You Only Knew: (I don’t regret any days I spent, nights we shared, or letters that I sent) More reeling from loss - this is very much a story about what you do for love, and musing on what you had before tragedy, and Findekáno’s mental state through much of chapter two matches this kind of frustrated brooding. Not to mention that he’s tormented by Maitimo’s situation and absence enough for his sleep to be disrupted - it’s all he can think on, and it consumes him. The fact that this is sung to an absent lover who presumably can’t hear the singer’s thoughts and isn’t aware of them only makes it more poignant.

Adelitas Way - Last Stand: (And I can’t make it without you, I need a second chance ‘cause I wanna make it about you - I’m making my last stand) Of course, he ultimately does decide that, for better or for worse, he’s going after Maitimo, regardless of the impact on his life and the lives of his people. This is a song about trying to do right by your partner after some kind of separation, and it’s just frustrated and desperate enough to tug at my heart.

Kamelot - Lost and Damned: (Leave me behind, don’t look back) When Maitimo becomes aware of the fact that Findekáno is sharing his consciousness and is seeing what he’s seeing and feeling what he’s feeling, he responds by shoving Finno out of his head and shredding all he can of their marriage-bond to keep his captors from noticing. This song has a specific story function in a greater rock opera, but it really works here.

Journey - Separate Ways (Worlds Apart): (Someday love will find you, break those chains that bind you) If you’re writing a story about Thangorodrim and you don’t put this song on there, what are you even doing? In all seriousness, though, this was my first song that I ever heard that made me go “oh this is about Russingon”. An eternal classic and full of yearning and desperation and pain, and perfect to describe Finno setting out under cover of darkness, I think.

Icon For Hire - Hope of Morning: (When the hope of morning starts to fade in me, I don’t dare let darkness have its way with me) This song, honestly, more than any other I’ve ever heard, is Findekáno. For one thing I’m hooked on associating him with the dawn, and with the hope that comes with the sunrise; normally in Tolkien the Sun is associated with Men and I think it’s a really interesting thing that Finno also has some of that same imagery and energy tied into him, particularly surrounding his death. But beyond that? This is a song about being worried about your legacy, struggling to balance hope and duty and mental health, worrying always that you’re not doing enough and resolving to cling to the dawn and keep looking forward. I can’t think of a better summation of my favorite elvish prince.

Devour the Day - Oath: (One way or another, I’m coming home to you) This song’s title alone would have earned it a spot on the list, but the fact that it’s called ‘Oath’ but is about endurance beyond all else in the name of returning to a loved one’s side? Yeah, that’s Blessed Hands in a nutshell, especially this first part.

Fireflight - You Gave Me A Promise: (I will hold onto this hope that I have, you gave me a promise, you gave me a promise) This is the part of Finno’s journey north that isn’t him being miserable all the time - he’s doing this for love and for the sake of his marriage and the commitments they made to one another, and the hope he has is the hope that he can do right by the nér who promised to share his life.

Linkin Park - The Catalyst: (We’re a broken people living on a loaded gun) The other half of Finno’s journey north is him worrying and fixating on the possibility that he’s left behind his people to freeze to death, even having an encounter with some sort of ghost that feeds off of that fear. What’s more, this song just has an auditory aesthetic of loneliness and cold solitary journeying through desperate situations, and of uncertainty towards the future; that fits well here.

Bastille - Icarus: (Look out to the future, but it tells you nothing, so take another breath) Mountain climbing song! No, really - the way this balances an urgent, frightened beat and fast-paced instrumentation with lyrics about not knowing what’s coming? There’s nothing better for the moments when Findekáno is terrified out of his wits and afraid he’s going to have to shoot Maitimo, only to be saved by an eagle.

Atreyu - Lose It: (This is it, I’m falling - my wings need to grow, I lose my hold, I will let go) This is a song about being afraid of falling, and doing something terrible and frightening. It’s a perfect accompaniment to amputation, and the sick horror of being forced to make a decision that might end in death for all involved.

Sara Bareilles - Gravity: (I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love) Honestly I like this song less for the lyrics than the overall aesthetic. It’s a peaceful, gentle, regretful tune with so much emotion in it, and its themes of wondering what to do and wondering whether or not to continue on a set path with someone else are fitting. I tend to apply the idea of wanting to leave someone here to mean Finno wrestling with his royal duty - once Sorontar saves him and Maitimo from the cliff, they have the chance to go elsewhere, be other people, leave the Noldor and the Oath and the war behind them. And he chooses not to do this, for both of them, because while he wants to run he knows he shouldn’t.

Skylar Grey - Coming Home - Part II: (I know my kingdom awaits, and they’ve forgiven my mistakes) A soft, sad, mournful reflection on a less than ideal return home, that’s somehow warm and uplifting at the same time. It encapsulates Finno’s feelings on his resumption of duty and social role perfectly.

Meg Myers - Running Up That Hill: (If I only could, I’d make a deal with God, and I’d get Him to swap our places) And now we come to the heart of Blessed Hands, the song that encapsulates the whole of part I in a single tune. I chose this cover by Meg Myers because I like the instrumentation’s aesthetic more than Kate Bush’s original when it comes to this subject, but any version, really, would work. This is a song about wishing things could be different, about trying to make them different, about wishing after changes and alterations. One other line that speaks to me is ‘Is there so much hate for the ones we love?’ which, in the context of this relationship and these families, cuts right to the heart of the whole matter. Blessed Hands Will Break Me is a story about loyalty, more than all else, and about choosing love over hate, and about trying to defy cruel fate and sometimes winning, and this song covers all of that and more.

#blessed hands #RUSSINGON #silmarillion #absynthe’s fanmixes #music #silmarillion fanmixes

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sarcasm-and-references · 4 years ago

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hi! here is the spotify link for my Trollhunters playlist in which i chose one song to represent each episode, listed in order:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7mdB5Vss7D0jAAS2S1sbPP?si=RGdbyHgvQY6PUCM_djbRYQ

full list of why i chose each song + some disclaimers under the cut (very long)

first off: it’s named pretty inconspicuously because this is my personal spotify and i didn’t want my friends figuring out what it was

okay so i’m a musician and i love the use of music in media, so i will often draw connections between how i feel listening to a song and how i feel watching a film or tv show

as a result, i’ve compiled a playlist and an explanation for 52 songs (one to represent each episode of Trollhunters). it’s in order but you could also just shuffle it for a generalized Trollhunters vibes playlist

one final thing: this is by no means a definitive list, and it is heavily biassed because of my taste in music which means it is mostly alternative or indie pop and rock music (there are also a few explicit songs, just a warning) so just to put that out there

alright, here is the complete list of why i chose each song:

Becoming: Part 1

Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

Nothing too specific, it just gives off the vibes of morning, a small town, and the start of something big. I think the lyrics work a bit too but the sound and energy are perfect in terms of cinematic elements so full send on this one.

Becoming: Part 2

Could Have Been Me - The Struts

Chances are, you know this song if you’re a tik tok cosplayer or have seen any video of that sort. This choice felt right in terms of both lyrics and the music itself. It’s very hopeful and it talks about wanting to make something of oneself. I tend to associate this song with Percy Jackson and there are some parallels there. Kind of a modern-day heroism feel, which is definitely fitting for this show and the episode specifically.

Wherefore Art Thou, Trollhunter?

I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers

This episode seems to me like more basic exposition and is just setting up the first arc of the story, so I chose this song not completely for the lyrics (although I do think they fit for Jlaire in terms of Claire and Jim’s interaction but I’m trying my best not to focus too much on them). I think the sound and energy is pretty good for this song, and if you strip the song to its most simple interpretation, it’s clearly about wanting to improve.

Gnome Your Enemy

I’m Just a Kid - Simple Plan

Ha-okay this choice is a bit of a joke because of the angst but honestly I do think it fits for the gang’s first mission and Jim’s attitude and reluctance towards trollhunting in general.

Waka Chaka!

Killer Queen - Queen

Yeah this is mainly for Nomura and her introduction. Not much thought went into this choice but as I make this list I’m finding that episodes that I choose a song for often end up with a song for a character that’s featured (dw there’s not too many of these).

Win Lose or Draal

Centuries - Fall Out Boy

Jim’s first real fight; showing off everything he’s learned so far. Being a moral person and not ‘finishing the fight.’ A hero in the making.

To Catch a Changeling

Brother - Kodaline

So I think this song could definitely be used to represent Jim and Toby, but I wanted to take the chance to choose a song for the protective trust that Draal starts to build with Jim. Obviously this episode is much more than that, but I see that scene where Jim is reflecting Draal’s fighting moves as the unofficial start of their brother-like relationship. So yes, I did pick a song because of one small scene.

Adventures in Trollsitting

Hey There Delilah - Plain White T’s

This one is a bit of a joke but Jim is definitely simping for Claire in this episode by volunteering to babysit so I have chosen a song to fit with that. (Also, wOw this explanation makes it VERY clear I’m gen z).

Bittersweet Sixteen

100 Bad Days - AJR

Lyrics specifically fit here. Yes, a lot goes wrong in this episode, but the relationships are strengthened (Blinky and Jim) and it’s sweet in the end.

Young Atlas

Number One Fan - MUNA

Not gonna lie, I wanted to sucker punch Jim in this episode. This song choice is kind of satirical but really just for being confident and self-assured. Lyrics fit for the chorus and parts of the verses.

Recipe for Disaster

Carmen, Suite No. 2: VIII. Habanera - Saint Petersburg Orchestra of the State Hermitage Museum Camerata

Wow that’s a long title. Okay this is the only choice that has no lyrics/is classical on this list, but that is mainly because I chose it specifically for Strickler because he seems like a classical music kind of guy (maybe it’s a changeling thing @ Nomura). Also this is a pretty recognizable piece (in my opinion) and I also think it would sound pretty epic and would make for some great cinematic effects if played during the fight in this episode.

Claire and Present Danger

Seashore - The Regrettes

Originally, I was going to go with a song that fit the heroism arc in this episode but! I focus on Jim a lot in this playlist. Instead, this song is a choice for Claire and where she is in the story (finally being brought into the action). I’ve always loved her for being feminine and badass at the same time, so this song is somewhat a choice as an anthem for her (especially her being so headstrong and determined).

The Battle of Two Bridges

Young Volcanoes - Fall Out Boy

Teenage recklessness and power. Reminds me of adventures and young adulthood, plus the whole modern heroism again. I think this song also correlated with a high-stakes battle which is exactly what happened in this episode. Plus? How sick would it be if there was a fight and the strikes and dodges were coordinated with the beats in this song??

Return of the Trollhunter

Kids in America - Kim Wilde

More for the vibes in the beginning when it feels like it really should have been a new season. I think the lyrics fit pretty well here too. Fits with Claire joining the team and the heroes starting to come into their own.

Mudslinging

What’s Up Danger (With Black Caviar) - Blackway

This one was fully for Angor Rot and his first real introduction. He’s presented as an obvious and looming threat. While this song’s lyrics fit more with the more badass side of modern heroism (connects to Jim showing off his skills), I think the sounds fit with Angor and how he has begun to raise the stakes. This also may be a result of me associating this song with teenage heroes since it’s from the Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse soundtrack.

Roaming Fees May Apply

Welcome to the Jungle - Guns ‘n’ Roses

What can I say? The gang finds themselves in an unpredictable situation. It’s an adventurous episode to say the least. I feel like this song is used for action movies somewhat often so I’m throwing it in for this episode.

Blinky’s Day Out

Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede

This is almost completely a comedic choice. Barely any thought went into this one, and the lyrics have nothing to do with it. It is purely for the good vibes that always accompany this song because I feel like Blinky’s time on the surface was (at least initially) a “good vibes” situation. The apparent simplicity of being human can feel that way.

The Shattered King

Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley

I’m using this episode to focus on Toby. Although there’s not much character development in this episode specifically, I think Toby deserves a better arc and I do want to give him at least one song. While I think there’s a lot more to Toby than he lets on or that which is shown in the show, he’s often used for humor and is basically the stereotypical funloving best friend. He seems like he’d enjoy a feel-good, upbeat, “classic” song, and there’s silly dancing in this episode so danceable song! (Also if the show were more accurate to today’s teens, I wholeheartedly believe Toby would be a meme-lover).

Airheads

Little League - Conan Gray

I absolutely love the simplicity of this episode, even if it’s just filler, but I have indeed found a way to make it angsty. This song choice is fully for the lyrics (though the sound isn’t completely wrong for the feel of the episode). I think this show gets progressively more emotional throughout the seasons, and, at this point, the kids are competing for Spring Fling nominations while Toby and Claire deal with a ridiculous problem. Something about this episode just seems to represent naiveté and this song talks about longing to return to childhood and innocence.

Where Is My Mind?

Hotel California - Eagles

Seeing as the obvious choice might have been Where Is My Mind? by Pixies, I tried to branch out here. This episode is honestly eerie because the characters face their worst fears but never discuss them or understand why/how it happened. For me, the vibe was a sort of mellow rock song and a dreamlike state. Thus: Hotel California. If I think about it enough, the lyrics work because of the sort of ominous false sense of security that I imagine using this song for in a story. Ultimately though, it’s the sound and energy.

Party Monster

Candy - Robbie Williams

This is solely for the vibes just because it feels like a party song to me for some reason. Sorry I didn’t put much thought into this one. Also though? This song and its lyrics low-key remind me of Mary and this is one of the few episodes in which she was featured somewhat prominently.

It’s About Time

Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones

Definitely not for the lyrics, I think it’s just the sound and the energy almost completely for this song. For me, it just seems very high-energy and almost tense because of a fast heartbeat? I can just imagine this song playing as Jim is racing through town as quickly as possible. It’s a bit stress-inducing, honestly.

Wingmen

Victorious - Panic! At the Disco

High energy, but this is more of a simplistic choice to go with the fight scene and the progress we see from Jim as far as his training goes.

Angor Management

Carry On Wayward Son - Kansas

I chose this song as a representation of the dynamic that we see starting to form between Strickler and Jim. They’ve become unlikely teammates and Strickler is obviously a guiding figure for Jim, but I wouldn’t necessarily say he’s a father figure yet? Lyrics play into this choice a lot.

A Night to Remember

Just Like A Movie - Wallows

Specific to the dance scene. Nighttime lit up by emotion; bright kind of vibe. I thought about some other songs like Don’t Take the Money and Reckless Love (both by Bleachers), also Electric Love by BØRNS (didn’t choose that because I don��t really want to support BØRNS but I won’t get too into that). Ultimately, I think this one works best both with lyrics and overall sound. I’m a sucker for Jlaire so I had to focus on this part of the episode and how cute it was (sorry (not really tho)).

Something Rotten This Way Comes

Lessons - mxmtoon

Thinking about what you’ve learned and how to move forward in the present. Correlates more with where the story is at in this season finale, not as much with what exactly happens in the episode. Definitely a choice made for the lyrics (although Jim probably should have listened to the part about patience).

Escape from the Darklands

Hero - Weezer

Any upbeat, modern rock music for me always seems to fit the vibe for teenage heroes. I think the lyrics hit the nail on the head for characterizing Jim in this episode. He feels a huge responsibility and fear, and isn’t sure he can live up to it. Also I love him but going into the darklands alone? Not the smartest.

Skullcrusher

Off She Goes - Bad Suns

For Claire and her development in this episode. The emotion she has to use and how she pushes herself. The vibes are there but the lyrics in the chorus are what mainly influenced this choice.

Grand Theft Otto

Weightless - All Time Low

Not too sure about the sound with this one but I like the lyrics here for the dual plot of the episode. I think the whole thing with having a hard time and struggling but also not giving up hope resonates pretty generally with the trollhunters, but also specifically with Jim in the darklands and Claire and Toby (& Blinky) getting stuff done because they’re determined to save both Jim and AAARRRGGHH!!!

KanjigAAARRRGGHH!!!

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

This one is kind of a joke but kind of not. Seeing as this is the episode that the rest of the group goes to the *Darklands* to save Jim, I think the lyrics unironically fit in a humorous way. Can’t go wrong with classic rock either. (Can you tell I was struggling with this one?)

Homecoming

Life on Mars? - David Bowie

Okay, this is kind of just an excuse for me to throw this song in here, but it reminds me of a ragtag team of heroes who don’t necessarily win but live to see another day (probably because of this song’s feature in American Horror Story: Freak Show). Lyrics not so much throughout the song as a whole, but the vibes are definitely there in the chorus. A joke song that came to mind for this (for obvious reasons) was My Boyfriend’s Back by The Angels.

Hiss Hiss, Bang Bang

Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year - Fall Out Boy

Mostly for the vibes, correlates with the energy that Jim has after finally coming home. Also, lyrics fit pretty well here.

Hero with a Thousand Faces

Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - They Might Be Giants

I was searching for so long to find a song to match the chaos and hilarity of this episode (idc if it’s filler I love it so much), and realized only something just as obscure would work. The song and the episode have virtually nothing in common other than they are both ridiculous and I love them for it (sorry if that’s disappointing but hey). Also ever since I saw The Umbrella Academy use this for a fight scene I’ve loved the idea of this song in shows/movies with heroes so maybe this could fit with when Jim fought Hunter!Jim.

Just Add Water

The Kids Aren’t Alright - Fall Out Boy

I love this episode for the irony of the flour baby assignment. The main group is just dealing with so much more than health class homework at this point and yet they still take it so seriously. I chose this song partially because I really wanted to fit it in this list somewhere but I also think it correlates with the characters being so heavily involved in this dangerous, heroic life and still flying mostly under the radar in their small town. They’re going through a lot yet no one seems to notice.

Creepslayerz

I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones

This one is for the eagerness that Eli and Steve have to fight the ‘bad guys.’ They’re excited to form a team and I think their dynamic works with this. Also I love their dynamic so much we need more of them.

The Reckless Club

I Was a Teenage Teenager - Green Day.

Really just a fun loving song about kids being kids. Considered Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds as a Breakfast Club reference but figured I’d try not to make it too easy.

Unbecoming

Generation Why - Conan Gray

Correlates with ordinary life, lack of adventure and wanting something more (both sound and lyrics).

Mistrial and Error

Run Boy Run - Woodkid

Purely for the scene in The Deep where Jim fights his greatest fear. The lyrics are perfect and I could absolutely see this song playing as Jim faces The Deep.

In the Hall of the Gumm-Gumm King

Revolution Radio - Green Day

I think high energy fights + the neon color palette and destruction in Trollmarket fit perfectly with the energy and sound of this song. Obviously also the epic portal escape at the end. I didn’t want to use Children of the Sun by Thomas Bergensen (although that’s a super good song and the instrumental version, None Shall Live, is used in the episode) and thought this one’s lyrics fit well with the team’s resistance/rebellion and renegade status.

A Night Patroll

Next Up Forever - AJR

This is not particularly chosen for the lyrics, but I do think they fit more or less. Correlates with this being the start of season 3, the tension is getting thicker and the stakes are rising. The vibe here is not necessarily being ready to take on responsibilities you know you have to, and being nervous to do so. (I am definitely focusing on Jim a bit much here, but the show is too).

Arcadia’s Most Wanted

Young and Menace - Fall Out Boy

Although the team has been acting as heroes for a while, this is their first time defeating regular crime - the first few phrases of lyrics fit with that the most. Figured it goes with underestimating teenagers. Also I’m noticing while editing that there is a ton of Fall Out Boy in this playlist.

Bad Coffee

The Reckless and the Brave - All Time Low

I chose this one for one of my favorite team-up dynamics: Jim, Toby, Steve, and Eli. The energy and the lyrics in this song I just think are perfect for this group and I think could also correlate with the whole grave sand training thing Jim did in the beginning (‘reckless’ & ‘brave’).

So I’m Dating a Sorceress

Love is Dead and We Killed Her - Doll Skin

Purely for Morgana’s raw badass energy. That’s it, that’s the explanation.

The Exorcism of Claire Nuñez

Rubi - Doll Skin

Specific to Claire, could also be seen as her possession but leans more into her own personal power. Lyrics are definitely important but I think the sound also fits Claire's character.

Parental Guidance

The Times They Are A-Changin’ - Bob Dylan

Not for the energy at all because I can’t really pinpoint that but! lyrics are important here and (even though I think it’s self-explanatory) represent the parents’ reactions.

The Oath

The Ghost of You - My Chemical Romance

The lyrics for this one definitely work - about pain and grief but also moving through it. Definitely chose this one for Draal but his death was the main event of the episode so that feels justified. I think the sound is a bit intense for the energy of this episode but I’m really pushing the angst and sorrow with this one. At least I didn’t use Another One Bites The Dust by Queen >:).

For the Glory of Merlin

Yesterday - The Beatles

This one is a bit of a stretch and it was difficult to choose for a while but I personally see Merlin as a morally gray character (although i wasn’t a fan of how he talked to Claire and manipulated Jim but anyway) and I think he’s got a very complicated past. He mentioned that he used to have a pure heart and I found that very interesting so this song is an ode to who he possibly used to be with its lyrics. Also they literally step back into a frozen moment in this episode in time so this felt fitting.

In Good Hands

California Friends - The Regrettes

More for the sweet relationship building that this episode does, and the potential of a closer friendship (the kind we see in D’aja Vu in 3Below). This song is arguably more about romantic love but I think it could work with platonic. (Also Arcadia is literally in California and we need a sunshiny song amidst all the angst in this season).

A House Divided

Ribs - Lorde

Ha-yeah, sorry guys but I had to do it. Quite obviously specific to the bathroom scene and especially the montage right when Jim steps into the tub, about loss of childhood and memories, growing up. I think a lot of people know and have cried to this song, much like a lot of us cried watching this episode.

Jimhunters

Untitled - mxmtoon

Slowly growing up, having to deal with changing relationships. Dealing with hardships while lonely is clearly a big part of most of this episode, but the song correlation breaks off a bit towards the end; the lyrics focus more on pushing through on your own while the episode talks about counting on one another in difficult times. I think it also plays into being a bit fearful of the future and having to adjust to new situations while remembering the past.

The Eternal Knight: Part 1

Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

The vibes that go with the battle of the bands and also the onset of the fight when everything is getting more dangerous. Also the part of the battle before Jim takes on Angor Rot and Gunmar, where all the trollhunters, creepslayerz, and citizens are fighting together.

The Eternal Knight: Part 2

Time of Our Lives - Tyrone Wells

I know we’ve all heard this in fan-made edits after a series or show ends, but there’s a reason everyone uses this song. Feels like a very nice culmination, specific to parting ways with those you love after shared experiences. Really just for the last scene. This whole playlist idea came from me listening to this song in an edit and getting emotional so there’s that.

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welllpthisishappening · 5 years ago

Text

To Be Totally Locked Up By You

It’s not a big deal.

So, Clarke and Bellamy are sharing a Spotify account. They share plenty of things already. An apartment. A school. Buying rounds at the bar four blocks away. This is basically the same thing.

Until. Octavia tells them about the playlist. Joint music and both of their listening habits on full display, some ridiculous algorithm that leaves Clarke, quite suddenly, feeling more exposed than ever, sharing emotions and feelings, all set to a soundtrack.

—-

Rating: Teen Word Count: Nearly 8K AN: It’s happening! Admittedly sooner than I expected (I’m still only in season five, but the feelings. I’ve got them) and this is almost too autobiographical to be entirely fair, but I wrote this in like…four hours. So, here it is. Long-time Bellarke fic-reader, first-time Bellarke fic-writer. With lots of thoughts on Bellamy Blake’s curls. Joining a new fandom is exciting and terrifying.

|| Also on Ao3 if that’s how you roll ||

—-

“Why are you and my brother sharing a Spotify account?”

Clarke nearly breaks the pencil in her hand. She lifts her head slowly, not entirely surprised to find Octavia staring expectantly at her, arms crossed tightly enough that it’s very likely doing permanent damage to her ribs.

Possibly her lungs.

It’s been a very long time since Clarke took those anatomy classes.

“Well,” Octavia prompts, one eyebrow arching perfectly. “Yes or no question.” “How did you get in here?” “Did you not hear me come in?”

Clarke makes a contrary noise in the back of her throat, tugging her legs closer to her chest so she can rest her chin on her knees. She’s genuinely impressed with the state of Octavia’s right eyebrow. It appears to be defying gravity.

She doesn’t really know enough about gravity either.

Maybe she should make a list of the things she doesn’t know.

That seems inevitably depressing.

And Octavia is very clearly not going to move until she gets a response she wants, that stupid eyebrow and a pile of papers resting against her hip. Her phone is just barely hanging on in her back pocket, the soft vibration barely audible over the music coming from Clarke’s laptop speakers and the creaky pipes in their bathroom.

Bellamy is in the shower.

Clarke is at least sixty-seven percent positive Octavia planned her ambush that way.

“How do you even know about Bellamy’s Spotify account?” Clarke asks, burrowing further into the corner of the couch. “And seriously, did you pick our lock?” That eyebrow should be studied.

“I have a key,” Octavia drawls. “Obviously. So, your lock is fine and you can stop trying to deflect the important part of—” “—Why are you here?” Octavia gnashes her teeth, but there’s not really any threat there and Clarke only huffs slightly when she tosses her sketchbook on the coffee table. Because she knows that expression. The phone stops ringing. Only to start again.

“How many places are you going today?” Clarke asks knowingly, pointing at the open spot next to her.

There’s another round of huffing and flailing legs, Octavia’s left foot nearly colliding with both of Clarke’s knees, but that’s also impossibly familiar and nearly comfortable and—

“He thinks I should have a wedding cake,” Octavia mumbles. “Like an actual cake. Apparently it’s very historic—” “—Oh my God what an idiot.” “—There’s ancient nonsense involved and something about how that proved you were rich or something—” “—In Rome?” Octavia hums, eyes falling closed like she’s resigning herself to the horrendous ordeal of her older brother buying her a wedding cake. And, really, it’s almost nice. That’s a lie. It’s better than nice and just as expected as Octavia’s flailing limbs.

Because for as long as Clarke Griffin has known Bellamy Blake, since she met Octavia in an intro to stats class they both hated, she’s known several things about him.

One, he loves his little sister. More than anything. Two, he likes taking care of people. Octavia, especially, but at some point that also started to include Clarke, which is another nice thing and another vaguely overwhelming thing and—she doesn’t think about that. It is fine. Three, that same protective streak makes him certain he has to do things and provide things and that means driving Octavia crazy with possible wedding ideas.

And that leads to thing four: he’s an idiot and a nerd in an endearing sort of way that makes Clarke sure he didn’t have to look up that fact about Roman wedding cakes.

It also makes Clarke smile.

She ignores whatever happens to Octavia’s face.

“In Rome,” Octavia echoes. “Anyway that’s what we’re doing. Traipsing around the city and taste-testing cakes and—” “—That doesn’t sound too bad, honestly.” “Stop interrupting me, it will not distract me from my ultimate goal.” “Which is?” Octavia props herself up on her elbows, ignoring Clarke’s groan when she moves. “Do you know how expensive real wedding cakes are?” “That feels like a trick question. In Rome or—” Octavia sticks her whole tongue out when she responds, a noise that Clarke is sure will get stuck in her head for the rest of the day, The shower shuts off.

And Clarke’s mouth doesn’t go dry, per se, but she’s only momentarily worried that everyone in the apartment can hear the way her heart speeds up, falling into rhythm with her perfectly curated Spotify playlist and it hadn’t been much more than a suggestion, a monetary decision that made sense because—

“Jesus fuck Bell, put clothes on!”

Bellamy grins, another shift of eyebrows that Clarke is genuinely starting to resent, rivulets of water falling down either side of his face and dripping towards the towel wrapped around his waist. “Did you break in here, O?” “Used her key apparently,” Clarke mumbles, hoping the heat she can feel rising in her cheeks isn’t obvious.

Because thing number five Clarke has always know about Bellamy Blake is that she’s kind of..into Bellamy Blake. In a passing sort of way. That’s just happened to linger for years.

It’s his hair.

It’s far too curly.

It’s not—it’s more than that, it’s things one through four and a whole slew of other numbers she hasn’t come up with yet and how easy it’s been to live in the same space, both of them looking for roommates at the same time, mixing lives and remembering to buy creamer and always keeping an extra box of strawberry Special K in the back of the cupboard for breakfast-type emergencies, but Clarke likes to lie to herself and—

“Right, right, right,” Bellamy chuckles. “Well, she’s also ridiculously early.” Octavia scowls. “And standing here. Having a conversation you’re not actually a part of. Or invited to.” “Wow. Scathing.” “Do you wander around your apartment naked all the time?” “That’s not what’s happening. Obviously. Also, I live here. Why are you here so early?” “Just super psyched about cake.” “You’ll want to practice that some more before we leave. You might insult the baker in Brooklyn.” “You’re going to Brooklyn?” Clarke balks before she can stop herself, another noise out of Octavia that cannot possibly be good for her throat.

“The bakery got really good reviews.” “Oh my God you looked up bakery reviews.” Bellamy tilts his head, more drops of water that are equal parts horrible and far too distracting to be fair. “Was that supposed to be a question?”

“No, no, I am not even remotely surprised that’s exactly what you did.” Endeared, maybe. Perpetually. But not surprised.

Clarke doesn’t say that.

Octavia is far too busy swinging her feet back on the floor, a slightly different look than earlier and Clarke glances down to make sure her stomach hasn’t actually dropped. She’s still retained enough anatomical knowledge to know that it is supposed to stay in her body.

No drop.

And yet.

She can’t stop the butterflies or the nerves that rise up the back of her throat, another expression she’s far too familiar with.

“Fine,” Octavia snaps. “We will go to Brooklyn. We will taste test all the cakes—there better be hummingbird cake—” “—Who do you think I am, O?” Bellamy mumbles. It gets him a well-deserved eye roll.

Clarke’s going to bite her lip in half.

“You and Clarke are sharing a Spotify account!” Bellamy blinks. Once, twice, runs his fingers through his hair and maybe it’s just a Blake thing, this seeming ability to twist their bodies in wholly unnatural ways. “Do you know what that looks like?” “Like I wanted to save a couple bucks a month? So it would be easier to do cake-type things?” “Phrase that differently,” Clarke suggests, but Bellamy just smirks and the towel thing is really starting to become a problem. The whole liking him is becoming a problem. But she’s just as unsurprised that this is what Octavia wanted to talk about as she was that he looked up bakery reviews, so.

“Also,” Bellamy adds, “Clarke already had Spotify premium. It made sense.” Octavia shakes her head. “You’ve got to live together to be on the same account.”

“I thought we already covered that you have a key to this apartment. The one where Clarke and I live. Together.” “It looks romantic. It looks—” Octavia waves a pair of clearly frustrated hands through the air. “—Domestic. Partnered and, like joint playlists and—” “—You know he gets unlimited skips now, right?” Clarke interrupts, a desperate attempt to end this conversation and, maybe, get Bellamy to put a shirt on.

“Don’t forget the no ads,” Bellamy grins. “That’s been a godsend.” “What an old sentence. Also, you’re a podcast dweeb.”

“Informed, princess. There’s a difference.” “Yuh huh. Whatever.” “As always, your arguments are well-structured and articulate.” She flips him off. He grins. Octavia makes a noise previously unheard by human ears.

“You two do know,” she hisses, “that everyone is talking now and—” “—You all need to find a hobby,” Bellamy groans. “And I did not tell you this to make you lose your mind.” Clarke perks up, something in the back of her brain startling at that particular string of words. “You told her?”

“Yeah. I mean—well, I know it’s not a ton of money saved, but it’s something and…” He trails off, dots of color on his face and eyes that are suddenly very preoccupied with the floor. “It was nice of you to offer. So, I looked up Brooklyn.”

The music gets louder.

Clarke is sure. She’s not sure how, but it seems to swell, the beat settling under her skin and in between her ribs, wrapping around a stomach that refuses to stay where it’s supposed to, flipping and flopping and feeling and, for a moment, she forgets Octavia is there.

For a moment she smiles at Bellamy and he smiles at her and there’s no smirk, nothing except the way his eyes crinkle slightly, half a head tilt and damp curls falling and it’s good and great and then—

Octavia coughs. Pointedly.

“Alright,” she sighs. “Well, I think it’s dumb and you guys should opt out of the joint playlist. It’s the absolute worst and definitely embarrassing.” “What?” Clarke asks.

“Do you not know?” “You’re enjoying yourself.”

“Does Bell know about your secret Jonas love?” “What?!” Octavia throws her whole head back when she laughs, a sudden shift of emotion and the water falling off Bellamy’s elbow is starting to leave a small puddle on their floor. “Lincoln and I had it at first,” Octavia explains, “when we got it.” “You don’t think it’s a little hypocritical to be judging our Spotify purchases when you’ve got your own family plan?” Bellamy mutters. Octavia ignores him. “It’s some algorithm or something. I don’t know how it works, only that it takes all the songs you listen to all the time and turns it into a playlist that the entire family can listen to. In this case, that’s you guys. It’s very telling. About you know—you personally.” “I know Clarke personally,” Bellamy reasons.

“Do you, though?” “I really don’t know how many times we can talk about this apartment.”

“You don’t have to. Because you didn’t know about the Jonas Brothers, did you?” “I really don’t—” “—Exactly,” Octavia says. “Music is...emotional. Certain songs for certain feelings, things that were playing in specific memories. It’s—it’s a whole new avenue to getting a person. Listen to this. Clarke, tell me the truth, how long did you spend making this playlist?” Clarke shrugs. “I don’t know. Not long, but it’s all kind of the same theme...Fleetwood Mac, Clapton, Jefferson Airplane. Good music to draw to.” “What’s the name of it?” “Of the playlist?” Octavia nods. Clarke scrunches her nose. “Music to sketch and avoid stress to,” she grumbles.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Bellamy’s staring at her. Gaping. Like he’s never seen her and it would be overwhelming even with a shirt on. As it is, Clarke swallows back the emotion taking up residence in the back of her throat, ignoring just how exposed she feels and— “You’re stressed?” he asks softly.

“Not really. Just end of the quarter and you know parents at the school—always think their kid deserves a better grade and I’ve got meetings all next week. So. It’s—” God, she’s going to kill Octavia. And write a strongly worded letter to Spotify. “I knew you guys were going out today. The music is a lot of my dad’s favorite stuff. Calms me down.”

Bellamy doesn’t say anything else, a blessing and the single worst thing in the world, but the ends of his mouth curl up slightly and Clarke should stop looking at his mouth. Octavia grins like she won something.

“You should put clothes on Bell,” she says. “Don’t want to miss the baker in Brooklyn.” He salutes, all sarcasm and snark, eyes flitting back towards Clarke’s before he and Octavia leave and she lets the playlist repeat three times. He brings her back a slice of cake.

Octavia texts them both the next day.

Bellamy grumbles, cursing under his breath about the sanctity of Sundays and Clarke resists the urge to make jokes about the New York Times crossword puzzle or his obsession with finishing it every weekend.

She reads the text instead.

Octavia Blake, 11:42 a.m.: I think you guys should stage a bet. A music bet. About the joint playlist.

Clarke Griffin, 11:43 a.m.: Stop calling it that.

“Now, you’ve done it,” Bellamy murmurs, not lifting his eyes from the newspaper. There’s a pen stuck behind each one of his ears.

Octavia Blake, 11:45 a.m.: No. I won’t. It’s weird and you guys are weird and if you're going to commit to Spotify, then I think you should bet to see who can control the playlist.

“Don’t answer,” Bellamy suggests.

Clarke grunts.

Clarke Griffin, 11:46 a.m.: What kind of bet?

Octavia Blake, 11:47 a.m.: You guys can set terms. But basically see who can annoy who first with their musical tastes and seize control of the playlist.

“Why is your sister so violent at all times?” Clarke asks, but Bellamy just fills in another clue and it’s an admittedly interesting idea. She’s nothing if not perpetually competitive.

Octavia Blake, 11:47 a.m.: One musical genius to rule them all.

She kind of forgets about the bet.

Or, whatever.

Clarke’s too preoccupied with those meetings and the Wallace family continues to be the worst family at Mt. Weather, old money and far too many expectations, even for art elective classes that she promises won’t affect your child’s changes at the Ivy League, I swear, and her spine does not appreciate the way she’s sitting in her desk chair.

She’s got a free period, is seriously considering slumping forward and taking a nap when she hears footsteps moving through her doorway. And Clarke’s got every intention of telling whoever it is to fuck off, but she also knows those footsteps and she can hear a soft beat playing in the background, so her curiosity is piqued.

“Have you listened to it?” Bellamy asks, brandishing his phone and his tie is a little crooked.

“What are you doing here?” “Isn’t this the same conversation you had with Octavia?” Clarke rolls her eyes at the same time he drops onto the corner of her desk. She lets out a noise — a warning about paint and half-finished projects she’s got to move to the back of the room, but Bellamy just gives her a steady look and the beat is coming from his phone. “Plus,” he continues, “we just got back from the Museum—” “—Did you geek? “I was a responsible adult figure, princess.” She hums, doing her best to infused as much disbelief into the sound as she can. It’s an old nickname—older than the joint lease and breakfast emergencies, a past Clarke doesn’t always like to think about because they hadn’t always gotten along, but at some point the word had lost its sneer and gained its own look she’s started to covet just a bit.

She really needs to move those eleventh-grade acrylics.

“So, like on a scale of one to three-thousand, how much did you geek, then?” Bellamy clicks his tongue. “I’d never been to the Morgan. 3,000 B.C.! They had stuff from 3,000 B.C.! Scrolls and artifacts, actual jewelry. That is—” “—Old?” “Ancient,” he corrects. “Proper ancient.” “I’d give this geek out a two-thousand, six-hundred and forty-seven. Out of the previously discussed three thousand.” “Yeah, that seems about right.”

“And you had a soundtrack to go with it?” Clarke asks, nodding towards the still-musical phone.

“Kind of. Spotify caught up.” “To?” “Us.” It takes a moment for Clarke to figure out what he means, but then she’s taking a deep breath and trying to remember what she listened to in the last five days. A ridiculous amount of My Chemical Romance.

It’s been a week.

“I didn’t peg you for pop punk,” Bellamy laughs. “Or is MCR a different genre? I was never really sure how that worked.” Clarke groans, sliding further down her chair until his smile threatens to stretch the muscles in his face. She can’t flip him off in school.

“I think, technically, they’re more power punk,” Clarke says. “Or maybe emo—depending on what album the algorithm picked up on.” “What have you been listening to more of?” “Mostly Welcome to the Black Parade on loop.” “Is it Wallace? All your stress and—am I missing out on jam sessions?” “God, not if you call them that,” Clarke exclaims. He blushes again. She may make a list of all the times she can get Bellamy to blush. “But kind of. You’ve had those Model UN meetings after school, so I’ve been blasting music when I get home. I think Pike’s going to rat me out to the super eventually.” “Yeah, well, he’s a dick neighbor. So.” “And my options are limited. No scream-singing in the car when I take the Subway every day.” “You could start singing on the Subway.” Clarke chuckles, sitting up a little straighter. Her spine appreciates it. “Showtime on the downtown six.” “You might be able to make some money. Learn how to flip on the polls.” “I’d donate it to your cake fund. Also, did you call them MCR?” “Is that not right? O went through a very serious Hot Topic phase when she was in high school and I remember some of the lingo, so—” “—You are seriously the oldest man alive.” “Who’s your favorite Jonas Brother?” Clarke scoffs, the song changing and she doesn’t think it’s one of hers. “Frank Ocean?” “A genius.” “You know we don’t have to do this. The sharing playlist thing. It’s—well, O was being crazy, especially with that bet idea, and there’s got to be a way to opt out of it.” “Do you want to opt out of it?” The question seems to hang in the air around them.

And Clarke isn’t sure why it sounds impossibly important, like some line they’re crossing and can’t come back from, but she can’t shake the feeling or the admittedly lyrical genius of Frank Ocean. She turns the music up.

“It’s kind of fun, isn’t it?” Bellamy asks. “Seeing what changes it picks up on and how the playlist evolves with what we’re into.” “Please stop talking about the playlist like it’s a sentient being.” “Fair, fair. But, uh—what do you say?” “To?” His fingers find the back of his hair, pushing curls away from his eyes and he’d left earlier than her that morning. That explains the glasses. He only wears his glasses when he’s tired.

Clarke knows that.

She knows...a lot about Bellamy. And not. Nothing about Frank Ocean, at least.

She’d like to.

She likes Frank Ocean.

She loves—

“If we only listen to the playlist, we’re not going to change it,” Clarke points out.

“Sounds like you’ve got a plan.” “At the risk of giving O any credit, it’s an interesting idea, isn’t it? That we keep listening to our own music during the day or night or whatever, but when we’re coming home from school we listen to the joint playlist. See what happens with it.”

“And are we trying to influence the playlist?” “That’s up to you, I guess.”

“Yeah, ok. Try to influence the playlist, see what we can force the other person to listen to and—” He tilts his head, a forced casualness that makes Clarke widen her eyes. “—Whoever eventually seizes control of the playlist with the majority of their songs by...O and Lincoln’s wedding wins.” “Wins? Wins what?” “I don’t know. Something at home. Or one of us can just pay for the other’s Spotify account.”

Clarke twists her lips, considering it. Bellamy’s eyebrows fly up expectantly. “Yeah, ok. We judge the playlist based on what we hear when we’re leaving school.” “Makes sense. And what happens if we leave school together? You going to share headphones with me?”

“Only if you’ll join my showtime brigade.” “Good name.” “Is that a yes?” He grins — another one of hers, which is vaguely possessive and a little insane, but Clarke’s heart is doing its best to beat its way out of her chest as well, so she figures the whole thing is kind of a wash at this point. “I will definitely join your showtime brigade,” Bellamy promises. “If only because I’m pretty confident in my ability to flip from the top bars.” “No you’re not.” “I’ve got upper-body strength you couldn’t even imagine.”

“Sure, sure. When do we start with our musical experiment?” “Today.” “Today?” “Today,” Bellamy repeats, as students start to file into the hallway and Clarke’s not all that upset with how her free period turned out. “I will pick you at exactly 3:15, Ms. Griffin. Be prepared for an introduction in modern classics. And 90s hip hop.” “I’m going to listen exclusively to pop punk for the rest of the week.” “May the algorithms ever be in your favor.”

“Idiot,” she calls, but he’s already walking away and none of her students look remotely surprised.

Raven slides the glass across the bar without a word. She doesn’t have to use words. Her face is judgmental enough.

Clarke sighs. “What?” “Did I say anything?” “Did you have to?”

Raven waggles a finger, more opinions and very obvious thoughts and Clarke knew it was only a matter of time. She blames intro to stats. It’s how she met Octavia, after all. Which is how she met Bellamy, which is how their friends group grew and evolved and there’s been good and bad and this bar and she’s fairly certain Raven has a very detailed bet with both Monty and Murphy about her and Bellamy.

They all know about the Spotify playlist.

“I guess not,” Raven admits. “Has anyone ever told you that your psychic tendencies are both terrifying and impressive?” “Not in so many words, no.” “What about your weird flirting rituals?” Clarke downs the drink — not sure if it’s actually meant for her and not worried either way. It burns the back of her throat, settling in the pit of her stomach with an almost audible thump, right next to her ever-expanding knowledge of Bellamy’s musical taste and his determination to shift the playlist. He’s been listening to nothing except It’s Tricky radio for the past three days.

She’s got to figure out how to fix this.

On several levels.

“It’s not flirting,” Clarke argues. “Or a ritual. That’s weird.” “You’re telling me.” “Buy me another drink.” “No,” Raven says. “Tell me about the ritual.” “Stop calling it that!” Clarke’s voice rises of its own accord, drawing more than a few curious glances and Bellamy looks up from where he’s talking to Lincoln and Octavia. She smiles. She doesn’t mean to.

Raven cackles.

“Oh God,” she mumbles, the words barely that, “so, how screwed are you? Like ballpark.” “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Have you figured out that he secretly loves the Goo Goo Dolls?” “How do you know that?” “You don’t?” “Oh my God,” Clarke groans.

Raven reaches a hand out, a move that’s probably supposed to be comforting, but feels far too heavy when it lands on Clarke’s forearm. “Slow down on the liquor, Griffin. You’re a lightweight. And I know that because the one night I was there—don’t make that face.” Clarke definitely makes a face. She’s a little buzzed. Cage Wallace is setting up a meeting with the school board. About her art classes. “Anyway,” Raven adds, “I was kind of...looking to get out of there quick, but he had music playing and—” “—He played music while you guys were hooking up?” “Nah, he let me shower. He was reading.” “Oh my God.” “Anyway. I don’t think he knew that I could hear the music and it was definitely an entire Goo Goo Dolls album. Straight through. Not even a mix.” “Huh.” “You act like you’re not fascinated by that.” “Should I be?” Clarke questions, but it’s another badly formed lie and the energy under her skin is starting to make her restless.

Raven nods. “Yes. Eventually that’s going to show up on the playlist too. I know. Or you could ambush him with the Goo Goo Dolls.” “What a sentence.” “Matchbox Twenty?” “Those are two different bands.” “Similar genres,” Raven reasons, Clarke waving down Miller for another round of something, anything. “And I’m trying to help you, here. Rule the playlist, rule the world, right?” “Or at least part of our roommate budget.” “Say roommates again like you don’t want to make out with his face.” “Jeez.” “Not an objection,” Raven points out at the same time Miller decides to show up. Clarke does her best to melt. It does not work.

“It is not,” Miller adds. “And—just in case you were looking for some more information. He’s been asking about your musical tastes too.” Maybe Clarke is drunk.

She wishes.

“Why?” “Search me,” Miller admits. “But a lot of it seemed to revolve around your favorite Jonas.” Clarke refuses to look at Raven for the rest of the night.

It goes. Days, weeks, the rest of April.

The music keeps on playing. Or, whatever.

She listens to more My Chemical Romance. Bellamy goes through a pretty serious ten-day spiral over Weezer that leads them both down some 90s-alt rabbit hole, both of them bobbing in rhythm while they do the dishes on a Thursday night.

At one point Octavia threatens to ruin it all, grabbing Clarke’s phone while they’re at the bar and announcing, “I am getting married, so I pick the music.” It ends with Carly Rae Jepsen on loop and a playlist that refuses to recover for the next two days.

Clarke comes home to Bellamy humming Run Away With Me while he folds laundry in the living. She spends no less than five seconds processing that before she starts matching socks.

They play the song fourteen times in a row.

He counts.

And she learns things. Raven had been right about the Goo Goo Dolls and Clarke girts her teeth when Bellamy asks “why are there so many Frozen songs on here now,” but that leads them to debating the merits of twisting traditional mythologies in Disney movies until Monty tells them to “shut up and drink.”

So, they do.

And then, May happens.

It’s not that Clarke often finds herself stressed enough to burst into tears as soon as she closes the apartment door behind her, but her stomach is churning and between self-important parents at school and her own parents—parent, singular—she’s an emotional, exhausted mess and—

“Oh, shit,” she sighs, sliding onto the floor. She hasn’t listened to the playlist all week. And she knows Bellamy won’t really care, but Clarke has started to depend on the structure and the ever-increasing knowledge and while she might not admit it, Arcade Fire probably would have done a pretty good job of psyching herself up for an afternoon with her mom.

As it is, Clarke spent the better part of the last six hours listening to backwards compliments and questions about that school of yours and not-so-humble brags about the cardiac center at Lenox Hill and the “opportunities you passed up, sweetheart.”

That sentence played on loop in Clarke’s head the entire train ride home.

She sniffles, a quick lip of suddenly dry lips because she’s started breathing out of her mouth too and—

“Clarke?” Her head bumps the door when she snaps it up, Bellamy standing there with curls that desperately need to be cut and glasses and he’s wearing socks. It makes Clarke’s pulse speed up and slow down at the same time.

She’s very glad she’s not a doctor.

“Hey, hey,” he says quickly, rushing into her space and there are already tears on her cheeks. She hates that. Bellamy drops in front of her, knees cracking and a hand on her shoulder, staring at her like she’s going to fall apart or break in half and neither is true. Clarke is just mad.

Pissed off, really.

She’s angry at her mom and the cardiac center with its looming benefit, Clarke’s lack of a date some black mark on the whole thing, apparently, far too many veiled suggestions that her own choices are less structured and real, because Clarke has made her own choices since she was eighteen and hated stats and she’s got a schedule and she can’t believe she forgot about the playlist. She’s harping on that. “And how was the esteemed Dr. Griffin today?” Bellamy asks knowingly. Clarke isn’t sure what sound she makes at that, but it might just be the audible version of gratitude, and he grins.

Exactly like she wants him to.

“Chock-full of opinions as always.” “Mmhm, I figured. You want to talk about it?” “Not really. She just—” Clarke grits her teeth, fighting against another wave of disappointment and could have been and every one of her muscles tightens when Bellamy’s lips ghost over her forehead.

That’s absurd.

It’s not the first time he’s done it. Or her. Quick displays of affection when things went well or things went bad and she can remember every single one. Which, honestly, is pretty telling, but she spent most of the day lying to her mom.

This shouldn’t be any different.

This is the complete opposite.

“Go ahead,’ Bellamy mutters.

“She’s just—God, Bell, she’s the worst and she’s so positive she’s right and I’m wrong, but she doesn’t even have the decency to really tell me I’m wrong and—” Clarke runs out of air. Bellamy brushes away the tears on her cheeks. “They’ve got this gala coming up and she wants me to come. She’s getting an award.” “Prestigious.” “Self-absorbed,” Clarke corrects. “The hospital she works at is awarding her for her work at the same hospital. I know it shouldn’t get to me. I do, but she kept talking, like she was going down a list of make Clarke feel like garbage and—” “—You don’t deserve to feel like garbage, princess.”

“Tell me mom that.”

“Here, give me your phone.” Clarke’s skull can’t cope with much more of this, but there’s an earnest edge to his voice that she’s never heard before and her phone suddenly feels impossibly heavy in her pocket. She pulls it out, willing her fingers not to tremble.

It takes him exactly twelve seconds to start playing music.

There’s no Arcade Fire. No Goo Goo Dolls or 90s hip hop.

“Fleetwood Mac?” Clarke whispers, Bellamy’s soft hum of agreement in her ear and she’s sure, eventually, they’ll get up. She’s not in a rush. “If you play Landslide,” Clark warns, “I will cry even more.”

“I can cope with that.” “Yeah?” “Yeah,” he says, and it sounds like another thing in a way that things shouldn’t be things. Not with roommates and weird bets and—“You know I do have some rhythm. I could...if you don’t want to show up to this thing by yourself.” Clarke doesn’t pull her head off his shoulder. She’s not sure when her head landed on his shoulder. “You don’t have to do that.” “It wouldn’t suck so bad.” “That's not true at all.” “I’m serious. We could make fun of people. Come up with ridiculous backstories. Wow them with our Fred and Ginger ways.” “You sound very confident in your dancing talent.” He kisses the top of her hair.

“That’d be nice,” Clarke says, voice a little scratchy and she’s not sure if that’s because of the day or the week or how goddamn comfortable his shoulder his. “And you’re going to ruin the playlist algorithm with this.” “I’ll live.” “Good.”

Dr. Abby Griffin’s eyes get very wide when Clarke and Bellamy show up at Gotham Hall.

They dance. They drink undoubtedly expensive champagne. They dance some more.

She smiles.

A lot.

And Bellamy doesn’t ask before handing Clarke one side of his headphones as soon as they slide into the Uber back home, her eyes fluttering shut while the music drowns out the sounds of the city on their way home.

She gets really annoyed with him one week and plays the original Broadway cast recording of Cats every night while she’s asleep.

He hates that she can’t ever remember to turn the AC off when she leaves the apartment. So, he plays Bizet from Carmen every time she walks in for a four-day stretch.

It takes another two days for the playlist to realize neither one of them is mad anymore.

At some point around Memorial Day they both realize they love Ben Folds.

Bellamy plays a ridiculous fake piano.

Clarke sings the Regina Spektor parts on all their duets.

They blast Killer Queen on a Saturday afternoon in June after Cage Wallace’s kid graduates.

Clarke stands on the couch, hands thrown in the air and something akin to joy leaping up her spine, Bellamy shouting lyrics from the kitchen while he blends...something.

It presumably has alcohol in it.

Or, more alcohol.

It’s a celebration.

And it doesn’t take long for Pike to start banging on their shared well, but neither of them move to to turn own the music, just sing louder. Bellamy grins when Clarke throws a pillow at the wall, shouting “take that dick,” like Pike can hear them over Freddie Mercury.

She almost falls over.

It is...patently stupid and inherently romantic and Bellamy is impossibly solid behind her, cotton t-shirt not doing much to distract from the planes of his chest and—

“What was that about upper body strength?” she breathes.

Bellamy laughs into her shoulder blade, nosing at the top of her shirt, and there must be hair in his face, but he doesn’t seem all that upset by it, which is only messing with her head a little bit. His fingers splay across her hip, tugging Clarke back to the floor.

His glasses are falling down the bridge of her nose.

Clarke presses up on her toes, suddenly aware of how much bigger he is than her and how clear his eyes are when he looks at her — more earnest energy and a flick of his tongue between his lips, like he’s waiting for whatever she does next and only a little impatient.

“A solid save.” Bellamy barks out a laugh, head falling close to Clarke’s, and it takes everything in her not to card her fingers through his hair. That lasts about four seconds.

If even.

Her calves are still aching, but she doesn’t back down and she doesn’t think and for one of those four seconds she’s absolutely positive Bellamy is going to kiss her. He doesn’t blink, just stays impossibly still, except for the flutter of his fingers and the way they push under the hem of her shirt and—

“Turn your fucking music down!”

They both jump back, like they’ve been shocked, Clarke wincing when her legs slam into the front of the couch.

“Are you ok?” Bellamy asks, but she’s already nodding and any sense of joy has rather quickly morphed into something much worse. Regret. That’s the word for it.

She’s neither a doctor nor an English teacher.

“Fine, fine,” Clarke stammers. “I, uh—I’m going to turn the music down, ok?”

“Nah, Clarke—fuck that guy, c’mon, it’s…” “It’s really loud, Bell.” He’s setting a record for not blinking, she’s sure. He stares at her—a little appraising and just a hint wary, the moment drifting away as the song fades out. Clarke swallows.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Bellamy agrees. It still doesn’t sound like the words he’s saying. “What do you think about celebratory David Bowie?” “Good call. You going to keep mixing?” “10-4, princess.”

“Idiot.” He grins, a quick twist of eyebrows and squeeze of his hand, but Clarke can’t help to think that the end of the school year may also be the end of something else.

Octavia’s getting married in two weeks.

Her dress is blue.

And it makes her boobs look great, which Clarke isn’t focused on, but Raven’s mentioned it enough that eventually she agrees and she’s happy.

Octavia is getting married.

It’s sunny. It’s warm. There’s already music playing, soft and melodic outside the door where they’re waiting, Raven’s far-too-knowing stare boring into the back of Clarke’s head.

“Don’t do that,” she warns, and she doesn’t have to turn to know Raven rolls her eyes.

“I’m still not saying anything.” “Again, you didn’t have to.” “The experiment ends today, right?” “You say that like you don’t know. “And what did we learn?” Clarke turns around. It’s a mistake, she knows, but part of her has also been dreading today, which is pretty fucked up. All things considered. Octavia looks gorgeous.

She’s got a five-dollar bet with Murphy that Bellamy will cry.

Bellamy’s definitely going to cry.

“You’re supposed to learn something in an experiment,” Raven says. “Even one as weird as this one. With all its flirting. You seriously haven’t made out with him yet?” “No.” Raven crows, Clarke grimacing at the admission that isn’t really that because everyone knows and she’s always known and—she bets he looks very good in his tuxedo. “Oh, god you’re an idiot,” Raven exhales. “But seriously, did you learn things? That he—”

“Yes to the Goo Goo Dolls. Slide is a very predictable favorite, but it’s been on the playlist since the get. He knows way more lyrics than he should. O had a pop punk phase too and he’s way too confident in his own rhythm, but sometimes he’s good at dancing. His mom used to listen to a lot of ballads and Karen Carpenter makes him feel emotions, but mostly at Christmas, so that hasn’t really affected the playlist and—what? You’re doing that thing with your face.” “Am I just?” “Nothing’s going to change, Rae,” Clarke cuts in. “We’re going to keep our musical preferences and our separate playlists and one of us will pay for no ads.” “Seriously, tell him how much you want to kiss him.”

“Shut up.”

And the photographer sounds like he’s on his way back. With Octavia. Who certainly does not want to hear about Clarke’s unrequited feelings for her brother. On her wedding day.

Priorities, Clarke’s got them.

“We had some fun and—well, O was kind of right. It was like getting a chance to…” “See into his music-loving soul?” “I really like Arcade Fire now.” Raven hums noncommittally and Clarke can practically hear the gears in her mind turning, but she’d been right about the photographer and maybe they’ll all just cry over Octavia.

She’s beaming.

And there will be hummingbird cake at this reception.

“You guys ready?” Octavia asks.

Clarke nods, ignoring Raven’s expression. “Definitely.”

He cries.

Clarke gets five dollars.

She doesn’t have any pockets in her dress.

That feels like a sign.

Strictly speaking, Clarke hasn’t been to too many weddings. A family friend when she was a kid. Her mom’s. This one.

And yet.

She’s positive that this is the most beautiful wedding she’s ever been to or could ever go to and part of that is because of the music and part is because of how often she’s noticed Bellamy smiling and most of it is because he keeps glancing her way.

It’s a very blue dress.

She’s still holding a five-dollar bill.

And there is a whole schedule — toasts and more tears, posing for photos and ignoring the way her stomach flutters when she spends an inordinate amount of time glancing Bellamy’s direction. Octavia laughs. She and Lincoln flit from table to table, a hint of tradition in a wedding that is still them and this family and—

“You want to dance?” She’s sitting at the head table, a glass of half-finished champagne in front of her and they haven’t cut the cake yet, but Clarke figures that's soon. Bellamy doesn’t blink. Again. One side of his mouth tugs up, fluttering his fingers in her space until she feels her own smile stretch and maybe her stomach should just be studied.

There’s color on Bellamy’s cheeks.

Clarke never got around to making that list.

“Don’t leave hanging, princess,” Bellamy says. “They’re playing good music.”

He’s not wrong.

It is good music. It’s...oddly familiar music. And Clarke had been too happy to really notice it before, but now that she’s listening, she hasn’t heard anything that’s not hers and—

“Oh my God, you idiot.” He laughs. Loud. And honest. And one-hundred percent hers. The sound sinking into the very center of her, where everything else she’s ever loved has taken root, a foundation for the rest of it, for all of it, for a family.

A Spotify premium family plan.

“You keep complimenting me like that and—” “—Did you do this?” “Did I do what?”

Her hand finds his, warm fingers and slightly callused skin. Clarke can’t stop shaking her head. It’s absurd. It’s vaguely romantic.

“Is this…” she starts, but Bellamy smirks and she’s a lost cause.

In a far more romantic sort of way.

She jumps up, closing the already minimal amount of space between them and, to his credit, he doesn’t flinch. He might still be smirking. Clarke can feel the curve of his lips as soon as hers land on them, a little cautious at first, but that lasts about one verse of whatever Jonas Brothers song is playing and then it’s all mingled breaths and an arm slung around his shoulders, fingers in his hair and the sudden swipe of his tongue.

Clarke arches her back, desperate to feel as much of him as she can, like that will ground her or remind her that it’s really happening.

He tilts his head, changes angles and cups her face. It’s soft and bruising and a perfect contradiction that leaves her pushing up further in her heels, pulling on Bellamy’s curls until he groans against her and she’s going to think about that on loop for the rest of the night.

The room spins.

Clarke’s only seventy-two percent certain she’s not the one spinning.

It doesn’t seem to end. They don’t seem to end. She can’t tell where his hands stop, moving across the expanse of her back and tracing across skin, as if he’s memorizing every shift, every way she rocks against him, trying to fill the space with him and them and— “Oh my God, finally,” Octavia cries.

Clarke snickers, Bellamy’s head dropping to the curve of her jaw, leaving goosebumps in his wake. Still smirking. “Huh,” he muses. “Look at that.” “Don’t be smug,” Clarke chides. “I’m wooing you, was that not obvious?” She leans back, expecting a wholly confident expression, only to be met with something slightly hopeful and a little young and yearning and, really, the only thing to do is kiss him. Again. So, she does. Again.

And it’s good and great and exactly what she thought it would be when she thought about this, far more often than she ever would admit to.

But it’s also...something else. It’s the perfect chord and a well-constructed bridge and the song she wants to play on repeat forever, a favorite she knows she won’t get sick of, until the melody finds its way into her memory and her.

Full stop.

“Yeah, it was,” she whispers. “Is this—” “You know when you first offered to go half on this premium thing, I really was in it for the money.” “It’s like an extra ten bucks a month,” Miller yells. Both Octavia and Raven swat at his side.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Bellamy admits, “But I wanted to help O and I was sure this would help and then the playlist thing came up and I just—” He shrugs, another brush of his fingers over Clarke’s arm. “—Well, it was...you know you hum under your breath? Constantly. Every song. Even the ones you said you didn’t like. And you’ve got drawing playlists and I can’t believe how strongly you feel about All Time Low.” “They’re good,” Clarke shouts. More than a few members of the peanut gallery let out exasperated sighs.

Bellamy kisses her hair. “I know. I know. And that’s been—the first time O talked about you, I figured you were some uptight—” “—Am I still being wooed? I am a fun person!” “Let me finish. You were old money and plans and structure and I thought I had to hate you on principle. But then. Clarke, you’re—ok, yeah, you like some structure and plans, but there’s so much more and it’s...every single time you start dancing to David Bowie I think I love you a little more.”

She’s not sure what sound she makes.

An exhale and a sigh and a give — into the feelings and the want and he’s not done.

“So, uh, it hasn’t been easy. It took a lot of repeat plays. But yeah, to answer your question. This is the playlist and it’s our playlist, with...mostly your music because—” He scrunches his nose. It makes the freckles more obvious. “You’ve gotten under my skin, princess. So has your music. And the Frozen soundtrack isn’t that bad.” “Get that in writing,” Octavia demands.

“Shut up, O,” Bellamy grumbles. She flips him off. The photographer takes a picture. “Anything to add?” he asks, an undercurrent of misplaced nerves that she doesn’t understand at first. She hasn’t said anything back.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, that’s—” she starts, shaking her head and she kisses him before she answers. Third time’s the charm, or something. "I love you too.”

There are cheers. And louder music. A ridiculous bass line and shutter snaps and—

“We going to dance?” “Did I not ask first?” Clarke hums, already tugging him towards the floor and she’s got high hopes of his hand never leaving hers. For the rest of the night. If not longer. “Semantics,” she says. “C’mon, this is definitely a good song.”

Her favorite Jonas Brother is Joe.

She tells him while they’re tugging clothes off, stumbling down the hallway of their apartment.

“Don’t mention that again.” “10-4,” Clarke laughs, but the words get caught between them and she very quickly forgets about anything other than the noise Bellamy makes when she moves her hands into his hair.

They never opt out of the family playlist.

And it takes a few weeks for the algorithm to catch up, but eventually it’s a pretty even split, his and hers and theirs, all perfectly curated in replayable format.

#bellarke ff #bellarke fan fiction #bellarke #bellamy x clarke #the 100 #just casually inflicting my jonas opinions on new fandoms #oh hai new fandom #i've got thoughts and feelings about bellamy blake's hair #so here they are #there's kissing #that's my jam #laura writes bellarke #laura writes

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in-arlathan · 5 years ago

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The Rebel’s Ascension

An Annotated Writing Playlist

Because it came up recently that writing a story is getting real serious when you reach the “Making a playlist” level, I wanted to share the soundtrack I created for “The Rebel’s Ascension” for your enjoyment. I included some remarks how the songs help me with the fic or what kind of scenes they remind me of.

If you want to do this for you own fic, consider yourself tagged! It’s always interesting to see what others writers listen to while crafting their stories. <3

Here’s the link to the playlist on Spotify.

The entire “soundtrack” is meant to help me capture the tone of the story. For me, “The Rebel’s Ascension” is dark and gritty, so I looked for songs (instrumental and otherwise) that convey that feeling for me. While browsing around on Spotify I found a whole bunch of artists that make music with a Nordic/Norse, Celtic or folkoristic touch, which was a perfect fit. Some chanting, a lot of drums. Most of it very traditional but not boring.

Many of the instrumental songs come from soundtracks like “Vikings”, “God of War”, “The Witcher 3″ and “Gladiator”. All of them help me with the pacing of the scenes since I like to go for a walk, listen to the music and let the story play out in my head.

Some songs do have lyrics, though. I chose them mainly by their ability to make me think of a certain character. They are the “theme songs”, so to say. The ones for Solas and Mythal resonate with me the most but all in all, the music helps me to get excited about the story whenever I feel unmotivated to sit down and write.

[-- ENTERING SPOILER TERRITORY --]

Below the cut, you’ll find more annotations on specific songs for specific scenes and chapters. I placed them there, because they contain mild spoilers for the story. If you don’t mind or you’re just here to read my weird thoughts on ancient elves and their relationships, you’re clear to proceed. :)

“The Last Kingdom” by John Lunn & Eivør – I call them the opening credits. This piece of music serves as an overall theme for the entire story. As soon as I hear it, I get excited and want to get back to writing. The song has that sense of mystery and danger that fits perfectly, and really keeps me motivitated.

“Small Moves” by Alan Silvestri – This is my personal theme for Solas in this story. It’s soft and warm and little melancholic. I can imagine him as a kind and considerate young man who likes to help those in need (a side of his character which he will learn to lock away, as we all very well know).

"Memories of Mother” by Bear McCreary – For me, this song really captures Solas’s feelings for Mythal. Although I gave them a mentor-protége relationship in the story, I always headcanon Mythal is very motherly to Solas (more than for her “real children” like Andruil or Dirthamen). In my mind, Mythal would love to raise Solas up to be one of the Evanuris but he refuses her because he doesn’t want to be corrupted by their power, which might serve as a source of conflict later on.

“How Fare The Gods?” by Syven – Although I have several songs in the playlist that I attribute to specific members of the elven pantheon, this song served as an overall theme for them. I listenend to this a lot, when Solas is summoned before the gods in chapter 1.

“Progeny” by Hans Zimmer – In chapter 2, Solas enters the Beyond and meets Ghil Din’an, a Spirit of Death. Althought it’s a friendly encounter and the spirit ultimately tries to help Solas, I always wanted the scene to have this air of foreboding. This piece of music conveys that perfectly.

“Svanrand” by Heilung – Andruil makes an appearance in chapter 3, and to say I’m intrigued by her character would be a vast understatement. For me, she is a predator and this song brought me in the right mind to write her. Maybe I should do a one-shot with her as the protagonist.

“Tryfing” by Danheim – In the story, Solas is sent by the Evanuris to find a creature they refer to as the “Black Dread”. It’s basically a play on words, mending the historical “Black Death” together with the “Dread Wolf”. When I listen to this song, I can see the showdown between Solas and the creature in my head. It’s dangerous and dynamic and I can’t wait to write that scene. Fun fact: The song is named after a magical sword form Norse mythology. How fitting is that?

“The Song of the Sword-Dancer” by Pervical Schuttenbach, Marcin Przybylowicz – Felani is one of the elvhen OCs I created for the story. She is a skilled blacksmith and bound in servitude to June from whom she had learned her craft. In my personal head-canon for her, she creates the Sulevin blade to help Fen’Harel’s rebellion in their fight against the Evanuris.

“Death Smiles At All Of Us” by Hans Zimmer, Lisa Gerrard – This comes rather late in the playlist but everytime the music starts to play, I feel this little chill and I’m like “Yeah, this is gonna be good!”. For me, it’s the prelude to the final showdown between Solas and one of the Evanuris (I won’t give away which one though). Also, death is kind of an over-all theme in the story.

“Vox Populi” by Thirty Seconds To Mars – If this fic were a movie, this would be the song that played while the credits roll. It reminds me of where the story is going and has the best fitting lyrics ever. It’s a song about calling people to arms, being a traitor and a dreamer. I can’t listen to this without thinking of Solas. It makes me eager to get to THE END.

There a many more songs in the playlist but these are the once that resonate with me and the story the most. If you like to check it out, here’s the Spotify link again.

#writing #writing music #writing playlist #writing with music is necessary #work in progress #wip #rebels ascension #fanfiction #dragon age #solas #fen'harel #ancient elves #arlathan #elvhenan

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gwentoryfics · 6 years ago

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Hot For Teacher, Part 5.

Genre | College Student x College Professor Smut AU

Pairing | Hongseok x Reader x Hyunggu (Kino)

Words | 10.8k

Summary | You never realized how much one drunken night could color the rest of your college experience until you discover that the handsome stranger from your cousin’s wedding is also the new professor at your university.

Warnings | Cursing. Underage drinking. The usual. Oh, and some fingering.

Parts | 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 5.5 • 6 • More Coming Soon AO3 | 1 • 2

Playlist | Spotify • Youtube

Note | I DID IT. IT’S WRITTEN. HERE IT IS. Please enjoy 💕 I’ll get the YouTube playlist posted later - I don’t have time to get that one put together. Have to head out for a Mother’s Day dinner lol.

As much as you don’t really want to confront Professor Yang about your incorrect grade, you know that it’s something you need to take care of. But as if Professor Yang could sense the confrontation coming, he takes off immediately after class ends, quickly packing up his things and hurrying out the door before you can even make it to the front of the room.

In the back of your mind you can’t help but wonder… is there any chance that all of this is intentional? Did he give you the wrong grade knowing that you would come talk to him about it? Did he leave immediately so that you’d be forced to visit him one-on-one in his office again?

Does he just want to get you alone again?

NOPE. Bad idea. You push that thought as far away as you can, forcing yourself to pause that train of thought. You can’t even let yourself consider the possibility that he might want that. Absolutely not allowed.

If there’s a chance that that’s what he wants, you can’t buy into it. You have to be strong for yourself.

So it’s decided. You are not going to visit him this week. You’re going to let this one go. You’ve received his message, but you’re not going to give him what he wants.

Wooseok shows up for tutoring late as always, but this time it’s different. You can tell immediately that he’s bothered by something.

“Hey,” you greet him softly, and he responds with nothing more than a nod. He’s silent as he gets ready for the session, and you don’t push him to talk. You’re assuming that it must be because of the whole party bust, and you also don’t know if you’re good enough friends for him to feel comfortable opening up to you about it.

The session is really difficult for him. He’s clearly not focused, so you call it quits early. You don’t want to push him because he’s only getting more and more frustrated. By the time you’re wrapping up, you feel like you should really try to talk with him about what’s going on - regardless of how close you may or may not be.

“Yuto told me about your extracurricular suspension,” you offer as a starting point.

“Ah, he did?”

“Yeah, at R&B Ensemble. It really sucks.”

“It’s only two more weeks, thank God.” Wooseok throws his folders and pencils into his backpack. “Any longer and I think Typhanie would start looking for a replacement drummer. I’m already putting the rest of the ensemble in a rough spot since we’ve got the showcase coming up next month.”

“Yeah, but it’s okay. Shit happens, you know? You’re a talented drummer, I’m sure you’ll catch up with the group in no time.”

“You think I’m talented?” Wooseok looks up from the floor, his wide eyes searching yours. Your heart goes out to him - he seems so beaten down.

“Of course,” you reassure him. “You’re so creative when you play, and you’re always spot-on when it comes to tempo. You’re like a living, breathing metronome. It’s insane.”

For a moment, he doesn’t say anything. He just watches you, thinking. And then he opens up. “I feel like I’ve really been struggling here. I love drumming more than anything I’ve ever done, but my classes are so hard. This music theory shit makes me feel like an idiot.” Wooseok throws himself back into his chair, brow furrowed.

You hadn’t really expected this to turn into a therapy session, but you want to try to help him feel better if you can. “You don’t have to be amazing at theory to be a great musician. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who can really easily understand theory, but will never understand how to put heart into their performance.”

“Well what about you? You’re good at, like, everything.”

“No, don’t do that. You can’t compare yourself to others. We’re all at different places, you know?”

“Weren’t you just comparing me against theory nerds?”

You take a deep breath. “I guess I did. But that’s not the point. My point is that you’re good at what you’re good at. Stressing about what other people are good at is a waste of time. That’s not going to make you any better at theory.

“Ultimately, the most important thing is that you’re doing what you love. I know you need to pass your classes to get your degree, but once you have that degree? The numbers and letters on your transcript are entirely arbitrary. So just be the best damn drummer you can be. Whatever you lack in ability to read chords and pitches, make up for with your intricate rhythms and flawless tempo.”

Wooseok nods, his gaze trained on the floor. And slowly, a smile forms on his lips. “I can do that.”

You nod, and you’re glad to see that something about him seems lighter now. Like you are really able to lift his spirits.

Wooseok really is something. He acts like such a light-hearted cool kid all the time, waving his drumsticks around and cracking wise-ass jokes. He’s always the one clowning around.

Now you see that there’s something a bit more intense underneath all of those layers of positivity. Sure, he can be serious sometimes, but this is something different. You can tell that there’s part of him that is deeply affected by all of this. He’s human, of course. He can’t be upbeat all the time. Getting to see him when he’s a little more vulnerable, a little more genuine… it really makes you feel like you’ve made a connection with him.

Maybe there is a friendship in store for you after all.

“I can’t believe you’ve never been to Ahjoomah’s Kitchen before.” Kino shakes his head at you as he flips the slices of meat laid out across the tabletop grill at the restaurant. “Trust me, once you get your first bite, you’re going to be disappointed that you’ve been missing out on the best Korean barbecue in the whole city.”

“I just didn’t know about it!” You chuckle defensively. “I don’t come down this way often.”

When Kino had invited you to hang out over the weekend, you hadn’t realized that he’d be dragging you all the way to Chinatown, nestled deeply in the city’s south side. But Kino’s from the south side, so he knows his way around. You trust his judgment - he won’t get you into any dangerous situations.

“Your loss,” he raises an eyebrow and reaches for the radish kimchi. “Be sure to get some of this before I eat all of it, by the way.”

“You can have it, be my guest. I’m strictly a cabbage kimchi kind of girl.”

His chopsticks pause mid-air as he looks up at you with fake disgust. “What kind of monster are you? Is that what they teach you on the farm?”

“I could say the same about you, you city-slicker.” You grab yourself some of the pickled seaweed and cabbage kimchi. “Will you eat any kind of kimchi?”

“Don’t start acting like I’m some kind of kimchi dumpster.” He tries to maintain a serious expression, but a laugh sneaks out. “I’ll make sure all of your meat gets burnt.”

You gasp dramatically. “You wouldn’t!”

“Oh, but I would.” Kino peeks down at the grilling meat, which is seconds away from being finished. “Yeah, I’d say it could use a few more minutes.”

“A few minutes? You’re going to burn this whole place down.” You grab the tongs to claim the perfectly cooked meat for yourself before Kino could ruin it.

The both of you laugh as you dish out the meat and get the next round onto the grill. And he’s right - the barbecue is absolutely delicious. Possibly the best you’ve had in a while.

As you eat, he tells you all about his family, and how he grew up the one son of many daughters - all younger than him. The youngest is a whopping twelve years younger than him - she just started first grade.

“That’s actually insane,” you comment, in awe over the sheer size of his family.

“My parents just don’t know when to quit.”

“My parents would be so jealous. They weren’t able to conceive again after me.”

“That’s awful, I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. It was kind of nice growing up just me and my brother. Our little family was perfect, actually, until my brother moved out.”

“What happened?”

“He graduated high school and then he disappeared.” You frown a little. You haven’t spoken with your brother in years, mainly because you don’t know how to contact him or find him. “He didn’t want to take over the farm, so he left. Didn’t tell any of us where he was going. I haven’t seen him since I was in middle school.”

“Were you close?”

You pick at the food sitting on your plate. “I thought we were.”

Kino places a freshly grilled piece of meat in front of you, encouraging you to eat. He’s watching you warmly, like you’re a sick puppy he wants to take care of. It’s sweet, but you don’t need his pity.

You roll your eyes and force a laugh. “It’s old news, anyway. Nearly ten years have passed and I’ve accepted the way things are now. But anyway, that’s why my parents want me to succeed so badly. I’m their only chance at a successful kid.”

“I can relate, as the only son.”

It feels so good to have someone here that can understand you so deeply in that regard, even if your family situations are different. Shinhye’s parents don’t put any kind of pressure on her about anything, and Nailah’s parents pretty much disowned her when she came out, which is it’s own brand of terrible. Both girls were super supportive of you and they always did their best to give you advice when you were struggling under the weight of your parents’ expectations. But they couldn’t quite understand you the way Kino could.

You smile, genuinely feeling placated. He’s just so peaceful to be around. As you stuff another strip of meat into your mouth, you groan, delighted. “You’re right, by the way. This place is the bomb.”

“Told you so.” His lips curl up into a smirk.

The mood stays light as you finish your meal, stuffing yourselves to the brim with the delicious meats and side dishes. Then when everything is paid for (Kino insists on taking care of the bill, much to your chagrin), you head off through Chinatown to your next destination - karaoke.

You had tried to warn him that you’re not much of a singer, but he said it doesn’t matter - half the fun of karaoke is just singing without any regard for how good you actually are. It’s therapeutic, he had said.

And so you find yourself holed up in a private room with Kino, who sings absolutely gorgeously all night, by the way. You feel like an idiot every time you take the microphone and warble a shitty rendition of Etta James or Ella Fitzgerald.

“Why do you keep picking such old songs?” Kino asks as you pass him the microphone, eyes already geared on the screen to choose his next solo.

“That’s what I like.”

“Lucky for you that’s what I like, that’s what I like…” Kino quietly sings a bit of Bruno in response as he scrolls through the song choices. “Oh, hey! We should do a duet! You know Elton John, right?”

You look up from your glass of water to see Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John highlighted on the TV screen. “You want me to actually sing with you and your angel voice? Nuh uh, I don’t think so.”

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun.” He selects the song and picks up the second microphone, holding it out to you. “Please?”

The music intro starts up and you sigh dramatically. This is going to be a shitshow, but how could you say no when he’s looking at you with that little pout? “Fine. But can you tone down the professional singing a bit so I don’t feel so self-conscious?”

“Don’t feel self-conscious, you’re doing fine.” He smiles at you before lifting the microphone to his lips. “Don’t go breaking my heart.”

Reluctantly, you do the same. “I couldn’t if I tried.”

“Oh, honey, if I get restless…”

“Baby, you’re not that kind.”

The lyrics bounce back and forth between the two of you, and he’s looking at you more than he’s looking at the screen, trying to make sure that you’re enjoying yourself. He overacts the whole time he’s singing, being intentionally goofy to get you to laugh. It works.

“Kino, I’m trying to sing. Stop distracting me.”

“_____, I’m trying to have fun. Stop being a fun sponge.” He jumps to stand behind you, grabbing your shoulder and popping out from behind you as he sings, “Ooo, ooo. Nobody knows it. When I was down...”

You strike a pose and look back at him, finally letting yourself join in on his antics. “I was your clown.”

He dissolves into a fit of giggles and misses the next few lines. Damn, this boy is truly a ray of sunshine. You laugh along with him, and you both goof off for the rest of the song.

By the time you get to the outro (which takes up literally the last full minute of the song), he’s holding your hand and you’re both jumping around like a bunch of goons, completely out of breath and pretty much just squawking.

“Don’t go breaking my heart,” he sings over and over.

“I won’t go breaking your heart,” you continuously respond.

After Lord-knows how many repetitions of that, the song finally fades out to a close, and you both just stare at each other.

“Why the hell is that song so long?” You ask him, completely out of breath.

He cracks a huge smile, “Who the hell knows.”

And then he throws his arms around you, laughing brightly and pulling you into a tight hug. He’s warm and just a little sweaty, but honestly his shirt smells amazing and he’s so soft and every inch of you burns with the sweetest, most delicate flames. His laughter fills you, and you don’t have a single care in the world.

If only you could just stay that way forever.

Come Tuesday morning, you’re thrown headfirst back into reality, a frown laying heavy on your lips as you look down at your assignment.

“What’s that look for? You got an A.” Shinhye asked, confused at why you seem so clearly upset.

“My grade is wrong again,” you grumble. You could have convinced yourself that the first time was just an honest mistake, and not a secret ploy to get you into his office. But twice in a row? It’s no coincidence that Mr. Physics And Math Whiz can’t manage to do the simple math required to accurately add up your points.

This time, you have no choice. You really need to talk to him.

Class wraps up and he looks like he’s getting ready to bolt like he did last week. You spit out a quick wait outside for me at Shinhye before dashing to the front of the room in an attempt to grab his attention.

Professor Yang looks up as you approach, and his face remains neutral. “Yes?”

“Do you have a minute to talk about my grade? You made a mistake.” You look over your shoulder and watch as the last remaining students duck out the door, Shinhye included. You lower your voice a smidge to ensure no one overhears you. “Last week’s assignment was graded incorrectly, too.”

“I don’t have time to chat right now. I have an appointment with another student.”

For some reason, he doesn’t seem guarded as he speaks with you. There’s no edge to his voice. It catches you off guard - you hadn’t anticipated that there would ever come a time when he’d speak with you so casually.

He continues. “You can make an appointment with me later in the week if it’s an issue. Or you could just show up unannounced the way you do.”

Professor Yang looks up at you briefly, one eyebrow raised in a way that is both playful and accusatory. Is he actually teasing you? And willingly drawing attention to the time you caught him listening to your sex music? All of the blood that should be fueling your brain suddenly relocates to your cheeks and chest, making your skin warm and visibly flushed.

You’re right, then. He really is just trying to get you to visit him.

He stands with his bag in hand, ready to leave, but he pauses when he finally notices your flustered state. His playful expression dissipates as he observes you. You wish with everything in you that you could read his mind, that you could know what he’s thinking when he looks at you that way.

Then again, if there is any chance that he’s still as fatally attracted to you as you are to him, it’s probably best that you don’t know about it. It would be far too tempting to you, and you might actually convince yourself to act on your urges - your honor be damned.

Finally, he releases you from his gripping gaze and heads for the door. His voice floats over his shoulder, perfectly neutral as he makes a final suggestion. “Make an appointment.”

You chew your bottom lip as you watch him leave, disappointed in yourself for so easily turning into a helpless school girl. It’s absolutely unfair that he could have such an effect on you.

More than a little disgruntled, you meet Shinhye out in the hall and inform her that you’ll have to make an appointment with him later in the week.

“Busy guy, I guess. Midterms are approaching, after all.” Shinhye easily shrugs it off before changing the subject. “Ready to grab some lunch?”

You nod, thankful for a change of pace. “Yeah. Let’s get going.”

The two of you meet Nailah at the Indian restaurant down the street from your dorms, and you settle in for some of the best curry in town. You’ve eaten here multiple times with Shinhye, but it’s only recently that Nailah has started joining you. Ever since you brought them together for Nailah’s film project, the three of you have started spending more time together.

You dig into the naan, and peek over at Nailah, who’s sitting next to you. “How was your workout? You’re absolutely glowing,” you tease her, even though you recognize that she somehow manages to make a sweaty sheen look stunning.

“Sweetie, I’m well aware that this isn’t the look. I just stuck around too long and didn’t have time to shower before meeting you two.” She raises her eyebrows disapprovingly at your comment, but you know she’s smiling inside. “And it was great, thank you for asking.”

“No distraction this time?” Shinhye asks, stuffing naan into her mouth.

“Nope, he wasn’t around today.”

You don’t remember hearing anything about a distraction, and you wonder what’s up. “What are you talking about?”

“Hot guy.” Shinhye giggles.

Nailah cracks a smile. “Don’t get me wrong, I am still very much a lesbian. But trust me, I can appreciate a gorgeous looking man when I see one.”

Shinhye leans in. “Apparently everyone oggles him every time he’s there. Nailah included.”

“You would too, if you ever saw him!”

“And he might be a student here, because she’s seen him around campus a few times, too.” Shinhye continues to dish, and you get the impression that she’s been chatting with Nailah a lot more than you originally thought.

You laugh and say to Nailah, “Maybe you should get to know him. Set him up with Shinhye. She could probably use a little man love in her life, yeah?”

Shinhye’s mouth forms a line. “I don’t need a man, thank you.”

“What about you?” Nailah nudges you with her elbow. “You never talk about boys - or girls, whatever you’re into. Maybe you could use a little someone.”

Before you can defend yourself, Shinhye speaks up again. “If she’s going to get with anyone, it should be that tall guy from the party the other week. He’s super cute.”

You think back to the party and immediately remember hiding in a closet with Yuto. Some of your memories from that night had resurfaced, including your thoughts about how beautiful he may or may not be. The thing is, you still think he’s good-looking even without your booze goggles. “Yuto?”

Shinhye shrugs. “I don’t remember his name. I think you said he’s a drummer.”

“Oh, Wooseok!” That’s right - Shinhye and Nailah had taken off before you ran into Yuto, so they haven’t even met him. You shake your head. “No, we’re just friends. I think. I mean, I think that we’re friends, maybe. We may not actually be friends. I guess I don’t really know him all that well.”

Nailah chimes in. “Shinhye’s right, though, he was really cute. And he seemed like he could be into you. Remember how excited he was to see you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You brush off their comments, but you sense a few crumbs lingering in your thoughts. He is kind of attractive…

“And even if you’re not looking for anything serious right now, that doesn’t have to stop you from having fun, right?” Nailah waggles her eyebrows at you.

“Nailah, not everyone has loose morals like you.” Shinhye teases, which earns her a rueful look from Nailah.

“Okay, when did you two become such close friends?” You hate the bitter taste of the words in your mouth. Something about the way they interact seems strange to you. You just didn’t expect them to seem so close. Shinhye doesn’t easily get to the point where she’s playful and teasing around people, so Nailah must have grown on her pretty quickly.

“I’m pretty insistent on making talented people my friends. You have to hear the music she wrote for my project.”

“Nailah, it’s just a first draft. It’s not even that good.”

“No, it’s really good. And you need to give yourself credit.” The two of them share a meaningful look before Nailah continues. “Basically, she blew me away with her music and I decided that we need to be good friends so I can convince her to work on all of my stuff.”

“I didn’t really have much choice.” Shinhye laughs.

You’re glad to see that they’re getting along so well, even if it makes you feel just a touch uneasy. Maybe you’re just feeling jealous? Or excluded? Whatever it is, you’re being territorial and it’s dumb. So you push the feeling away. “I’m glad that you were able to work so well together.”

“Yeah, I really owe you!” Nailah responds. “I wouldn’t have gotten in touch with her if it hadn’t been for you.”

“What else am I good for?” You mutter rhetorically, hoping the sentiment didn’t come out as bitter as it felt.

Shinhye seems to notice your attitude, and she sucks air through her teeth. “Actually, we only invited you along to pay the bill…”

For only a second, you’re shocked - and then you realize she’s joking. “Oh my God, shut up, Shinhye.”

The three of you burst into laughter, and you think that maybe it won’t be such a bad thing for the three of you to hang out more.

You scurry up the stairs in the math and science building, borderline peeved that Professor Yang’s only available appointment time is right after your piano lesson (ten blocks away). He insisted he had no other time available this week. So here you are, huffing and puffing and probably a little sweaty, but still trying your best to look like you’re not huffing and puffing and probably a little sweaty.

Yes, you actually put thought into your outfit. Yes, you actually put on some makeup this morning. Yes, you actually made sure each hair on your head was laying perfectly.

And yes, you refuse to acknowledge that it’s all because you want him to think you’re cute.

You make your way down the hall, and his door comes into view. You wonder passively if you beat him to the office again, if you’ll have to wait for him.

As you get close, you hear a sound coming from the door. But this time it’s not music.

It’s laughter.

Distinctly female laughter.

And then the door opens, and little Miss Legs with her gorgeous, shiny hair struts out from his office. Professor Yang is close behind her, a wide smile on his face as he laughs at whatever just transpired between them.

Who the hell is she?

Your stomach twists into an impossibly complex knot as you watch Professor Yang watch Gorgeous Woman turn the corner.

Why is he looking at her like that?

And why do you care so much?

You don’t realize that you’ve completely frozen in place until he looks in your direction, his expression suddenly rearranging into something less pleasant, his smile completely fading into a flat line.

There isn’t a single coherent thought tearing through your mind besides run. Your fight or flight response kicks in even though there’s no real danger, and the shattering of your heart begs you to leave so you can try to stop imagining how that woman must have been flirting with him, and he must have been flirting back, and are they an item? Is he seeing someone?

Why the hell does it matter?

He finally puts two and two together, and realizes why you’re staring at him so dumbfounded. His eyes widen, his hand reaches out to you. “_____…”

It doesn’t matter how beautiful his voice sounds as it wraps around your name. He can’t stop you from darting to the stairs and bolting out of that goddamned building.

It shouldn’t be so much of a surprise. There’s nothing stopping him from seeing other people. You literally hooked up with him once, and that was months ago. That’s the extent of your relationship with him.

But when you think about him screwing that bubbly bitch the way he screwed you, you feel sick to your stomach.

And maybe there’s nothing between the two of them. You only saw a second of their interaction, and you have no idea who she is to him. But of course you can only assume the worst. They have to be fucking at the very least - they’re both God-tier gorgeous, they’re practically meant for each other.

A sharp pain works its way through your chest. She’s a thousand times prettier than you, no doubt about it. There’s no way he could ever be attracted to you when there’s someone like her in his life.

But he shouldn’t be attracted to you, and you shouldn’t be attracted to him!

You want to scream - you’re so torn between what you’re actually feeling and what you should be feeling, what you do want and what you should want.

You feel hurt, jealous, betrayed.

You should feel nothing at all.

You want him.

You should want nothing to do with him.

The bottom line is that you know you need to stop doing this to yourself. You need to stop whatever kind of feelings you have towards him so you can freaking move on with your life instead of constantly feeling so wrapped up in him. You could fawn over him forever, but the bottom line is you will never be with him again.

You need to stop wishing that there might be a chance.

Kino surprises you Monday night by waiting for you outside of your dorm building before R&B Ensemble. He’s bundled up in his jacket, with a beanie on his head and a scarf around his neck. It’s October, so it’s definitely chilly outside, but he looks like he’s more than ready for winter. You hold back a laugh when you see him.

“Howdy, partner.” Kino greets you with a buttery southern twang. It’s not the first time he’s done this, and you roll your eyes at him.

“Quit it with the accent already!” You scold him playfully. “I grew up on a farm, not the deep south.”

He laughs as you start walking in the direction of the music building. “You are from south of here, though.”

“So are you, technically.”

“Hardly!”

You stop mid-step and turn around to face him, gesturing wildly to his person. “Okay but who’s acting more like a southerner here? Do you see what you’re wearing? It’s like you’ve never experienced the cold before.”

“Shut up,” he laughs, bumping into you as he passes by. “I’m keeping my throat warm for practice.”

“You’re such a dork.” You hurry to catch up to him.

You’ve really grown close to Kino quickly. You see him literally every day of the week because you’re in so many of the same classes together, and you frequently go out to grab snacks and coffee in between. (Well coffee for you, hot chocolate for Kino. He says coffee is too bitter.)

He teases you constantly, and you’re not afraid to give it right back to him. But he’s also become your study buddy, and he does a great job helping you with your aural skills assignments. The class requires you to be able to sing different variations of scales on-pitch, and you’re already not great with singing correct pitches to begin with. With his help, you’re getting more and more comfortable with it - even if you’re still kind of shitty.

“What are you up to this Saturday?” You ask. “I’m kind of in the mood for some more of that Korean barbecue. And I could be convinced to do some more karaoke.”

“Well obviously I’m going to be getting some Korean barbecue and doing some karaoke, then. Right?”

“I thought you might say that.”

Kino holds the door to the music building open, allowing you to pass through. “M’lady.”

“What a sweet, southern gentleman,” you drawl.

“The south side is not southern!”

“You started it! Don’t try to fight me about this.”

You’ve decided after all of the nonsense with Professor Yang, you don’t care enough about the couple of extra points. Obviously if he’s seeing someone else he’s not trying to win you over by boosting your grades. He’s just actually a fucking idiot who can’t count.

Midterms are coming up right around the corner, and that means it’s almost time for the workshop half of the semester to begin. As you’re all working on this week’s lab, Professor Yang calls each student to the front of the class individually to chat about what instrument they want to build.

Shinhye goes up before you - she wants to build a miniature marimba. You thought about doing the same, since it would be easy for you to play with your piano background, but you decided a little while ago that you’re interested in building a dulcimer. It could be a fun challenge for you.

Then it’s your turn. You don’t bother to put on a fake smile as you approach the front of the room, and he seems to be all business as well. You take a seat across from him.

“So.” He starts with a casual tone. “What are your thoughts for your final project?”

“Appalachian dulcimer,” you respond bluntly. He cocks his head, noticing your attitude.

“Alright.” He makes note of your choice on the pad of paper in front of him. “Have you looked into some different body shapes?”

“I want to do an hourglass shape.” You try not to stare him down. You don’t want to make a scene, no matter how bothered you feel. “With diamond shaped sound holes.”

He scribbles, eyes trained on the paper in front of him as he speaks. “We can definitely do the hourglass shape, although bending the wood is a little time consuming. Not impossible, though.”

“That’s fine.”

Setting his pen down, he finally looks up at you. You hold his gaze. His blank expression is impossible to read, and you try to keep yours as neutral as possible.

“Should we discuss your grade?”

“Nothing to discuss, really. Just make sure you count my points correctly next time.” You stand. “Is that all you needed?”

Professor Yang sits back, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Yes. Send up the next student, please.”

“My pleasure.”

As you clomp back to Shinhye, you fix a smile onto your face and let the kid next to you know that it’s his turn. You plop back into your seat, and focus one-thousand percent on finishing your lab so that you can keep your mind off of Professor Yang as long as possible.

You bury your hands deeply into your jacket pockets as you make your way up the stairs to the designated rehearsal room, feeling way too nervous for something that really isn’t even a big deal.

Changgu, the boy from the reception desk, had invited you to tonight’s Jazz Band rehearsal. When he mentioned it to you in person you thought it would be fun, but you didn’t actually expect to get an invitation. You figured he would probably forget, or if he tried he probably wouldn’t get permission. But then he called you, and now it’s really happening.

You open the door, hoping to all that is Holy that Changgu is already there so you don’t have to wait awkwardly - and thank the Lord, he’s sitting at the piano. He looks up as you enter and waves you over, a bright smile on his face.

“Hi, ____.” He greets you as you approach. “I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Thank you so much for inviting me!” You try not to gush, telling yourself that you have to stay cool. “I seriously appreciate it. I’m looking forward to watching and listening.”

“No problem.” He looks over toward the door again as the director makes his entrance, and Changgu stands. “Let me introduce you to Corbin, yeah?”

You nod and follow him towards the front of the room. Just be cool.

The director notices the two of you walking forward. “Is this our guest?” He asks, smiling broadly as he tugs off his jacket.

“Yes, this is _____. She’s the piano student I told you about.” Changgu introduces you warmly, and you don’t expect it. “She says she’s going to audition to be in Jazz Band next school year.”

“Going to be some awfully big shoes to fill once this guy graduates.” The director slaps Changgu on the back, laughing deeply. Then he extends his hand to you. “Call me Corbin.

“It’s nice to meet you, Corbin.” You shake his hand firmly. “And I look forward to auditioning.”

“I’ll be looking forward to hearing what you have to offer.”

You sit next to the piano for the duration of the practice, and it’s really an interesting experience to witness their rehearsal. Really, it’s run no differently from any other ensemble. The biggest difference is the sheer talent of the students involved. You’re sitting in a room with some of the best musicians in the school, and even though they’re all so good, they run into trouble spots in the music like anyone else would. It’s a really great reminder to you that no one is perfect.

It’s also really enlightening to you to see how Changgu navigates the music. He doesn’t have full sheet music in front of him - he’s working solely with lead sheets that only give him the chord progression and general rhythms. You’ve worked with lead sheets before and you understand how much room for interpretation they give. Changgu’s hands skillfully caress the keys, arpeggiating and clustering, making the music his own in a way you wouldn’t have considered. By the end of rehearsal, you have a whole new appreciation for Changgu’s craft and the amazing skill he possesses.

“I’m sure you already know this,” you stand next to the piano after rehearsal wraps up, “but you’re seriously an incredible pianist.”

“Thank you,” he laughs with a gentle smile. “What did you think of the rehearsal?”

“Eye-opening.” You nod succinctly.

Changgu snaps his binder shut. “You know, since we’re here, why don’t you play me something?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Come on.” He stands, patting the piano bench for you to sit. “Let’s hear what you’ve got.”

Shit. You aren’t exactly prepared, but what good pianist doesn’t have some music memorized for times like these?

Just a touch nervous - this is kind of a big deal, after all - you take your seat at the piano and start playing “Autumn Leaves” by Joseph Kosma. It’s one you’ve been playing for years and years, and it sits comfortably in your fingers.

As you play, you lose yourself to the song, and you don’t even notice the two boys approaching the piano. It isn’t until you wrap up and they start slowly clapping that you realize they’ve joined you.

“Who do we have here?” A tall, blonde boy smirks down at you.

“_____. She’s trying to take my seat next year.” Changgu introduces you.

“That’s me.” You look up at them both, and the broad-shouldered one speaks up.

“Too bad we won’t be around next year to play alongside you.”

“Seniors?” You inquire. Both Blondie and Shoulder Boy nod. “That’s too bad, then.”

Blondie smirks again before turning to Changgu. “You still in to go to the jazz club this weekend?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.” Changgu agrees.

Shoulder Boy looks over at you. “Do you want to come? We’re all going to perform at the open mic down at Andy’s Saturday night.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“Nonsense. You should come.” Blondie leans on the piano, and he’s quite persuasive in the princely gaze he holds.

Changgu speaks up, too. “Have you ever been?”

“No.”

“Well then, you have to come. It’s twenty-one and up, of course. You’re old enough, right?”

You look between the three of them. When in the hell would you ever get the chance to go to a jazz club with three seniors? Besides... it could be a great opportunity to do something different and get yourself out of this stupid funk you’ve been in. Might help you get over all the nonsense with Professor Yang. So why not? “O-of course.”

“Great.” Blondie taps the piano with his knuckle. “I’m Yanan, by the way. This is Shinwon. We’ll see you Saturday.”

Honestly, you feel pretty guilty about canceling your plans with Kino. But this is a special opportunity, and you can get Korean barbecue with Kino anytime. This is your chance to mingle with the big kids of the department, and it’s not something you want to pass up.

You flash your ID to the bouncer - your fake ID, that is - and casually enter the jazz club. You do your best to look nonchalant about it, and the bouncer doesn’t even question the birthdate on your card.

The club is dimly lit, but there are soft yellow lamps around the bar and candles on the tables. The aura is immediately calming, yet alluring.

Yanan is the first of the trio that you see - he’s standing at the bar, ordering drinks. You walk up to him and he notices you immediately.

“What are you drinking tonight?” He smiles lazily at you. It’s charming on him.

You raise an eyebrow. “Perhaps an Old Fashioned.”

“How classy.”

“We are in a jazz club. Seems fitting, don’t you think?”

Yanan adds your order to his list, and turns back to you as the bartender gets your drinks together. “Has Changgu talked you into performing tonight?”

“Me? No, he hasn’t.” You chuckle. “Should I?”

He shrugs minutely. “I don’t know if I’d go on stage in that dress…”

Your jaw drops at the unexpected comment. “What’s wrong with my dress?”

“Nothing, sweetheart. Trust me.” Yanan looks you up and down. “Just be prepared for some staring.”

The dress in question is undoubtedly one of your favorites, which is why you put it on for tonight. The neckline dips low between your breasts and the skirt hugs your hips comfortably. It shows off your shape, to say the least. You feel gorgeous and mature when you wear it, and it just feels like the right choice for this type of event.

Yanan’s flirty undertone stirs up a sweet warmth in your belly and somehow makes you feel more confident under his gaze. You turn towards the bar, subtly arching your back to give him a view or your rear end. “Stare all you want, sweetheart.”

You barely catch Yanan’s smirk before you realize the bartender is handing over your drinks. You each take two glasses and he leads you towards the front of the club, near the stage. The whole walk over is spent questioning how the hell you had the nerve to actually flirt back, but hey. ‘New school year, new you’ and all that. Maybe this is you finally stepping into your womanhood.

Changgu and Shinwon are seated on bar stools around a tall, circular table. A single tea candle flickers at the center of the table, throwing bits of light on the boys’ faces. Yanan claims the seat next to Shinwon and pulls the empty seat ever so slightly closer before you can sit down.

So this is how tonight’s going to go.

You have a lot of fun at the club, sipping your Old Fashioned, chatting with the boys, and listening to some seriously incredible music. Honestly, you’d take another night like this over a night at a regular club any day. This is laid-back, classy, sensual. Just your style.

When the guys get up to perform, you don’t even mind sitting by yourself. You feel so relaxed. Maybe it’s because you’re on your third Old Fashioned. (Yes, it’s going to be an expensive night. No, you don’t care.)

A girl joins the three of them on stage to play drums, and you think you might recognize her from the music department. She has a cute, round face and big eyes, like a doll. And it’s probably a good thing she’s there, too - her soft brushes set the perfect tone for the trio’s music.

Changgu tears it up on piano, of course, but in the sweetest, most melodic way. It’s a really easy, smooth sound. Shinwon plucks away at the upright bass, and Yanan contributes soulful bits of saxophone melodies. You want to just close your eyes and live in the music.

Their short set is over far too soon, but it’s only fair; they get two songs, just like everybody else. When they rejoin you at the table, the girl drummer comes with, tucked under Shinwon’s arm.

“Well done, well done,” you snap your fingers, truly taking on the jazz club persona.

“Thank you,” Changgu bows his head, a sweet grin on his lips. And then he throws you for a loop. “Get ready, you’re probably next.”

“What?”

Your ears perk up as the emcee on stage calls your name.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I signed you up.” Changgu explained, grin turning mischievous. “Go play that tune you played for us the other day.”

“Changgu!” You’re barely even able to protest as he nudges you toward the stage. “Not fair!”

“Just do it,” he encourages, giving you one last little shove.

Suddenly you are very nervous, and you wonder if you’re even sober enough to play well. You’re not drunk yet, but definitely tipsy enough that you’ve started to feel lightheaded.

Jeez. This is completely unfair.

Sitting down at the piano, you pull the microphone over to your mouth. “Hey, everyone. Um, I’m _____, and I was brought up here entirely against my will. Thanks for that.” You gesture towards the boys’ table and laugh, and the audience chuckles with you. “I’m going to play you all a little song called ‘Autumn Leaves’.”

Pushing the microphone away, you settle your fingers onto the keys and let the music take you away. Even in your slightly intoxicated state, the notes come to you easily. You feel yourself swaying as you play, but not in a drunken way - just in the way that pianists do.

You follow the melody, giving yourself the artistic freedom to change things up as you please, and by the end you genuinely feel good about the performance. The crowd applauds as you take a bow and usher yourself off stage, only willing to use up one of your two allotted songs.

As you head back towards the table, all you can think about is how you’re going to get Changgu back for that stunt. At the very least, he could have stopped you from ordering another drink if he knew you were going to be performing. But to let you get tipsy and then toss you up on stage, completely unprepared? You shake your head, chuckling. So not cool.

A hand grabs your arm, stopping you in your tracks. You’re alarmed for only a moment before you turn around - and you’re filled with dread.

Professor Yang.

Why is he here? Why did he have to show up tonight?

Why does it feel like you just can’t get away from him?

“What do you-”

“You have no right to be here.” He cuts you off sternly. “You’re underage.”

Frowning, you shake out of his grip. “I’m aware.”

“You need to go home. Now.”

“Oh my God, seriously? Who do you think you are? I know you’re older than me, but you’re not my father. Back off.” The alcohol is catching up with you, but you don’t care what you say to him.

“You’re being irresponsible-”

“Yeah, that’s kind of what I do, right?” Your brow knits together and you’re so full of rage. “I fucking slept with you, after all, so maybe that’s just what you should expect from me. I’m just some irresponsible child, right?”

“Don’t talk like that.” Professor Yang glances around to make sure no one is paying attention to your conversation. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Why do you care? You don’t care about me. Just leave me alone.” You turn and head towards your table again, wanting to just be done with him. You can’t even have a nice night without him somehow coming along to ruin it.

You make it to the table, and the guys start to congratulate you before they recognize the man that’s been following you.

“Oh hey, Hongseok.” Yanan gets up from his seat, places his hands on your shoulders, and turns you around to face the bane of your existence. “What did you think of our little _____, here?”

“I’m not your friend. At least call me Mr. Yang if you can’t manage the title Professor.” His eyes drop to you for only a moment, stopping to notice Yanan’s fingers on your bare shoulders. His voice is surprisingly cool as he speaks. “She came here with you?”

“She did, Mr. Yang.”

“She needs to go home now. She’s underage and shouldn’t be here.”

“Underage?” Changgu speaks up.

With a roll of your eyes you confess, “I’m nineteen.”

“Yes. So someone please take her back to her home.” Professor Yang looks at the boys, stopping on Yanan. “Not you. Changgu, please escort her.”

“Not me?” Yanan protests behind you.

“I don’t trust you. Bringing a sophomore here and getting her drunk.” He scoffs.

“She’s an adult. She can do what she wants.” Yanan defends you. “It’s just a little alcohol. She’s fine.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You agree, frowning at Professor Yang. “I’m not drunk.”

Changgu jumps in. “No, Professor Yang is right. She shouldn’t be here if she’s underage. I’ll take her home.”

“I’ll take myself home. I feel fine.” Brushing off Yanan’s hands, you head for the door. You just want to get the hell out of there and away from him.

You’ve barely stepped outside when you feel his presence - he followed you out. Professor Yang steps up right next to you, grabbing hold of your arm again. “Stay put. I’ll get you a cab.”

“I can take the train.”

“Not by yourself, dressed like that.” He stands at the curb to hail the taxi.

“I can wear whatever I want,” you pout.

“I know that. But you’re also smart enough to know there are a lot of people out there who won’t respect your autonomy.” He spares a glance back at you, and you notice the concern on his face. “Just let me get you in a cab so I know you’ll be safe.”

You scoff. “Like you care.”

“Would you stop saying that?” His suddenly loud voice startles you as he abandons his cab-hailing mission. “This is exactly the kind of shit I wanted to avoid with you. You should have dropped the class when you had the chance.”

You stare him down. “Like I said: I’m just full of irresponsible decisions, aren’t I?”

And then the most dangerous thing in the world happens.

His gaze falls to your lips.

It only takes up a moment, but his eyes linger just long enough that you know it can’t have been by chance.

Your voice is infinitesimally small as you murmur, “What was that?”

Professor Yang searches your face, a sort of melancholy in his eyes. “Don’t make me answer that question.”

Every ounce of blood in your veins boils over, making your face hot. You’re speechless. Completely, utterly speechless. You honestly, genuinely, cannot think of anything to say.

And neither can he.

So you both stew in the thickening air, the space between you filled to the brim with the weight of his unspoken confession. It’s suffocating.

This is precisely the type of moment that is bound to screw you over eventually. Not even a deep breath can calm you - your lungs are full of his cologne, and you want nothing more than to bury your nose in his chest.

It would be so easy to grab him by the collar and pull him into your arms, claim his lips with your own and remind him how good it feels to be with you.

Show him that he still prefers you over that other woman.

Professor Yang finally steps back, breaking the spell and returning to the curb. He calls over a taxi and pulls open the back door for you. “Where are you headed?” he asks you.

“Corner of 15th and State.” You near the cab as he pulls out his wallet, grabbing a few bills and handing them to the driver through the window.

“Take her to 15th and State, please. No other stops.”

“Yessir.”

Standing behind the door, you feel hesitant to take a seat.

Come with me, you want to ask of him. Come sit with me and look at me like I’m something special. Pretend that we might be in love, like we did that night.

All you want is another moment with him, but it won’t happen. You won’t let yourself speak those words.

The ringing of a cell phone catches your attention and he pulls his phone from his pocket, checking the caller ID and deciding that he needs to answer. To you, he says, “Get home safe, alright?”

Could that be his girlfriend calling? You’re hit with a wave of jealousy, and you call after him as he walks off. “Say hi to your girlfriend for me!”

Before he can even turn around, you drop into the car and slam the door shut, pouting in the back seat as the driver pulls away from the curb.

Yeah, that was a pretty childish thing for you to do. But you’re almost drunk and you don’t give a shit.

You get out your own phone. Not even 11PM and you’re already being sent home. This is ridiculous.

Just as you’re writing out an apology text to Changgu (to apologize for your lie and also the miserable turn of events this evening), your phone rings.

Why is Wooseok calling?

You answer, curious. “Hey.”

“_____…” He drawls your name.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Just drunk.”

“Not hosting another party, I hope.” You look out the window as you stop at yet another red light. “Haven’t you learned anything?”

“No party this time. It’s just me, by myself. Which is pretty lame…”

Ah. You think you know where this is going. “Why did you call me, Wooseok?”

“Come over and drink with me. It’ll make me feel better. Pleaseee?”

You’re quiet for a second as you consider. You think about everything Professor Yang said to you tonight, how he called you irresponsible.

Irresponsible does seem to be your middle name these days.

“Alright, I’ll be there in ten.”

Wooseok is properly drunk by the time you arrive, but he’s not messy. He’s actually very easy to be around - or maybe you just feel that way because you’re a bit drunk yourself. He supplies you with a few shots of tequila, and you’re certainly well on your way.

You’ve still got enough sense to know that the two of you should have at least some water tonight to avoid a hangover headache in the morning, so you get up from the couch to grab each of you a glass. Wooseok follows you, and he leans against the wall as you get the water.

“I got a pretty good grade on my theory test this week. All thanks to you.”

“That’s awesome! I knew you could do it.” You pour water from the filtered pitcher into each glass and hand him one. “Drink that.”

“You know what? You’re a great teacher.” He obediently takes a sip. “And I thought about what you said. You’re right, I’m a badass drummer and that’s… that’s the coolest thing.”

“Cheers to that!” You clink your water glass against his and gulp some of it down.

“But the coolest thing about you is how you just make everything seem so easy. You’re so smart. And hot. S’not fair.”

“I’m hot?” You ask. The warmth of the liquor in your veins makes you feel soft and fuzzy, and grin up at him lazily. Has he always been this attractive? You’ve seen him in that jean jacket plenty of times, but for some reason it just looks especially good on him right now.

“Hell yeah, you’re, like, way hot.” He rubs his eyes. “Hey, I have a question for you.”

“What is it?”

“Do you like Yuto?”

“Yuto?” That’s probably the last question you could have expected him to ask.

“Yeah. It’s just, I saw you go in the closet with him at the party and I was just wondering what happened.”

“Oh. Nothing happened, actually.” You shake your head, giggling at the way the motion makes you feel dizzy. “He just saw the RA show up and he pulled me aside so that we wouldn’t get in trouble. We just stood there until the coast was clear, and then we left.”

“Do you like him, though?”

“I don’t know, I hardly know him. I don’t have any feelings for him, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Wooseok leans toward you, a solemn expression on his face. “He’s my friend, you know. So if anything’s going on between you two, I should know about it.”

Why does it suddenly feel like you’re in trouble? He’s actually pretty intimidating. Maybe it’s just his size. “Would it be a problem if something happened between me and Yuto?”

He takes a step toward you, forcing you to back up into the kitchen counter bar. His hands rest on the counter on either side of you, locking you in place. “If something happened between you and Yuto, I’d probably have to try to convince myself that I shouldn’t make out with you right now.”

So that’s what he wants. His confession spreads through you like wildfire, and you feel blissfully awake and alive. With all of the bullshit you’ve been dealing with, you’re more than ready to get lost in something - or someone - else.

“Lucky for you…” You grab a fistful of his shirt, slowly pulling him closer. His gaze flutters briefly to your chest, your lips, your eyes. “You can do whatever you want.”

Wooseok takes the glass from your hands and places it on the counter with his glass. His palm comes to rest on your jaw, tilting your face upward as he leans in.

Either you’re drunk or you’re actually incredibly attracted to Wooseok - regardless, you’re shocked head to toe by the sheer intensity of his kiss. He radiates delicious aggression as his hand laces through your hair, his tongue tracing your lower lip. Your hands make their way behind his neck, and he is way too tall (but that’s actually pretty hot).

Next thing you know, his hands are on your waist and he’s lifting you up onto the kitchen bar. You wrap your legs around him, pulling him in as close to you as possible, completely ignoring the way your dress slides up your thighs, exposing your legs to his wandering hand. With one of his hands still in your hair and the other gripping your thigh, you melt under his touch.

Wooseok is pure dominance, and he kisses you like it’s his last chance. Each press of his lips makes you hungry for more. Maybe you’re just deprived, but you seriously cannot get enough of him.

In the back of your drunken mind, you’re desperate to feel hands on your body. You want him to touch you and show you what those long fingers of his can do. You want him to tug your hair and bite your skin and God the way he’s breathing so heavily is so hot.

You pry his hand from your leg and bring it behind your back, silently begging him to rip your zipper and get you naked. He understands, immediately pulling the back of your dress open and fiddling with the hooks of your strapless bra. He makes quick work of it, and finally your chest is exposed.

Wooseok’s large hand cups your breast, his thumb rolling your nipple as his tongue dives between your lips. He tastes of alcohol and it’s the sweetest flavor as he decimates you. You let yourself moan unabashedly to encourage him - everything he does is exactly perfect and you want him to know that he should never, ever stop.

You lean back as his mouth starts to trail down your throat, giving him better access to your chest until you’re lying down across the bar. Wooseok’s hand travels up your torso from belly button to collar bone until his hand wraps around your throat, his mouth suckling your nipple.Tossing your head back, you moan so, so sweetly for him - your head hangs off the edge of the bar, and you get the most delicious headrush.

You’re completely caught up in the moment, and you need more. He has to give you more.

“Wooseok,” you murmur his name, head still hanging. “Let me feel your fingers. Jesus Christ. I want you to touch me. Please.”

With absolutely no hesitation his hand slides up your skirt, and he presses his palm against your clothed clit. “Ask me again, baby.”

Baby? Oh dear Lord you completely lose control of your senses when you hear that pet name. Breathily, you beg, “Wooseok, please touch me. Finger me. I want to feel your hands.”

“Good girl.” He presses a line of kisses across your chest, and he tugs your underwear off, dropping the soaked fabric onto the floor. Christ, you’re so wet for him.

The tips of his fingers sweep across your folds, targeting your clit and winding small circles around it. It’s a sharp and quick motion, and it makes you gasp, your back arching at the sudden onslaught of intense pleasure.

“Is that what you want, baby?”

There it is again - baby. Why does it sound so natural coming from his lips? “Yes, Wooseok! Oh my God… More, please, more…”

As you wish, Wooseok brought two fingers to his mouth, wetting them with his saliva before letting them slip past your folds, diving deep into your warmth. It’s exactly what you wanted, and the combination of his circling and pumping drives you absolutely wild.

“Tell me what you like,” he murmurs, and you let your fingers card through his soft hair.

You’re breathless, but you manage to find words. “I like… everything you’re doing. Oh God, I like how… rough you are… I want- ohh!”

The coil in your belly tightens, and you tug hard on Wooseok’s hair. He groans lowly, and your walls clench wildly around his fingers.

“What do you want?” His voice is breathy as he asks, and his teeth gently bite down on your nipple, tugging.

“I want to come, please, just keep going, let me come!”

“Go ahead, baby.”

He doesn’t do a single thing different - he just keeps his exact pace, that fucking spectacular tempo he’s got, letting you work yourself up until you finally hit your breaking point.

You arch your back as stars explode behind your eyelids, shooting you into another galaxy of pleasure and ecstasy. Your whole body feels electric and tingly, and your walls pulse joyfully around his fingers as you release every ounce of tension you’ve held.

What fucking fantastic fingers he has.

Before you can fully come down, though, you hear the apartment door open.

Panicked, you sit straight up, forcefully bumping heads with Wooseok. You both simultaneously clutch your foreheads, groaning from the pain. And in your hurry to sit up, you accidentally knock over one of the glasses sitting next to you on the counter, spilling water everywhere.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” you apologize as you attempt to cover yourself with the dress that’s gathered around your waist.

Just then, Wooseok’s roommate, Minho, comes strolling in. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what the two of you were just doing, and he frowns. “Seriously, Wooseok? The kitchen counter? You couldn’t fucking make it to the bedroom, or even give me a heads-up?”

“Whatever, dude.” Wooseok steps between you and Minho to help hide your disheveled state. “Can we have a minute?”

Minho rolls his eyes. “Just don’t fuck up the couch too much.”

“We’re not-” Wooseok’s voice gets cut off as Minho yanks the bedroom door shut. He turns back to you, still rubbing his head. “Are you okay?”

You nod and let your dress fall down again so you can return your bra to its rightful place on your chest. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. You’ve got some great tits, by the way.” He admires your chest as you hook your bra.

With a short chuckle you respond, “Thanks.”

“You know… We could fuck up the couch a little, if you want…” Wooseok suggests mischievously, despite the conversation he just had with his roommate.

“I think I should probably go, actually.” You feel more than a little awkward about his roommate showing up, and you’re positive that you must be fifty shades of red right about now. You jump down from the counter and head for the door, zipping up your dress along the way.

What should you say? Thanks? Sorry? See you again soon? You’re not prepared for this kind of situation. All you know is that you just want to get home.

So you do what anyone else would do and you just don’t say a damn thing as you bolt out the door.

Your mind is still too fuzzy from the alcohol and the orgasm to even process what just happened between the two of you, and all you can think about is how the whole skirt of your dress is wet from those glasses being knocked over and you probably look like a hot mess right now.

Normally you’d take the stairs out, but you feel too dizzy to make it down stairs without falling - so you wait for the elevator instead. And as if you haven’t already had enough of a weird night, the elevator doors open to a familiar concerned face.

“_____?” Kino stares at you from inside the elevator, taking in your messy hair, rumpled dress, dripping skirt.

You’re simultaneously relieved to see him and consumed with guilt - you had canceled your plans with him, and now look how the night has turned out. “Kino…”

It’s obvious by the look in his eye that he can tell something is wrong. You don’t even have to voice what’s happening inside of your head. He just knows. “Do you want to come over?”

Nodding, you feel the familiar burn of tears in the corner of your eyes.

What a hell of a night.

Post Script | Thank you for reading! Please stay tuned for Part 6.

Update | Check out Part 5.5 (Kino POV) and this ask (Wooseok POV) for bonus canon content!

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