#i have a tiny bit of shame ok just enough | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nyoomerr · 1 year ago

Note

For the drabble request, I can never get enough shixiong!SY bingqiu. But only if you're up to it :)

ok it turns out i'm fundamentally unable to write a drabble as short as theyre meant to be, so here's over 4k words of shixiong!sy for your perusal 🤡 (+ a decent helping of cranky peak lord sqq and his wayward head disciple sy)

---

Shen Yuan… has possibly let himself become a bit too relaxed, since he first transmigrated. He used to spend every day on high alert: every cute little kid might be the protagonist, every mistake he made might have been logged somewhere for a petty revenge side plot later. He wouldn’t dare miss anything plot relevant, not when it might cause his doom. After all, ‘Shen Yuan’ wasn’t even a named character within PIDW - he was well and truly canon fodder!

But then, ah… Then Shen Yuan was accepted as a disciple on Qing Jing, and then he was a personal disciple of the notorious Shen Qingqiu, and then -

Well, not even Shen Yuan can keep up that sort of hyper vigilance all the time, okay!! He’s the scum villain’s head disciple - basically a henchman! If he lived in fear for every moment he might be condemned, he’d never have a second to rest!

It isn’t Shen Yuan’s fault that the best way to relax in this world is to go on years-long expeditions off peak!

…It might, maybe, be just a tiny bit my fault, Shen Yuan thinks, staring at Luo Binghe with horror. How does he manage to take such a long vacation that he misses the protagonist’s arrival onto Qing Jing? What kind of fake fan is he, ah?!

Luo Binghe has not introduced himself as such, but there is no way he can be anyone but Luo Binghe. His hair falls into perfect curls around a face so cute and round Shen Yuan wants to squish his cheeks until they turn pink, and he’s wearing an expression so determined and focused that it puts Shen Yuan to shame as the head disciple.

And he’s chopping wood. That’s the most recognizable part, obviously.

Shen Yuan forces himself to step forward into the small glade he found Luo Binghe in, clearing his throat awkwardly. Luo Binghe whips around, and Shen Yuan nearly cringes at the nervous apprehension on the boy’s face.

“Ah, I didn’t mean to startle you…” Shen Yuan trails off. Luo Binghe stares at him and says nothing. Shen Yuan’s perfectly nice and friendly smile starts to slip. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before…?”

“Apologies to Shixiong, this one will be sure to cut wood further away from the main peak buildings, so Shixiong doesn’t have to see me again.”

“Wha - wait, wait, that’s not what I meant!” Shen Yuan cries, becoming increasingly concerned about just how long he’s been away from Qing Jing.

For Luo Binghe to already be this wary of any Shixiong who looks his way… ah, Shen Yuan has basically already failed every single one of his loose plans to keep Luo Binghe from blackening! He wasn’t even there to witness Luo Binghe’s initial perfect white sheep days, let alone keep him out of the warpath of bullies and bitter Shizuns!

“This Shixiong is Shen Yuan,” he says, taking a few slow steps closer to Luo Binghe. Somehow, he gets the feeling that he has to be ready to catch Luo Binghe by the scruff if he tries to run off or start a fight while Shen Yuan is just trying to introduce himself, ah!

“This one is Luo Binghe,” Luo Binghe replies, dipping into a perfunctory bow.

“Yes!” Shen Yuan says. “I mean - well, it’s a good name.”

Luo Binghe’s expression only grows more wary.

“And ah, how long has Luo Binghe been on the peak?” Shen Yuan asks, even though the look Luo Binghe is giving him makes him want to slink back off into the bamboo forest. He has to know - if he’s lucky, it’ll only have been a year or two, and Shen Yuan can -

“This one has been a disciple of Qing Jing for over three years, now,” Luo Binghe says.

“Hm!” Shen Yuan says, because what he really wants to do is yell but he can’t do that with this customer service smile plastered on his face.

Inwardly, he allows himself to monologue out a list of swears that would’ve gotten his old online accounts temporarily locked. Over three years is too long!! The blackening has already started!! Luo Binghe has already started damaging his meridians by following that cursed fake manual, has already started training under Meng Mo, and most importantly has already given up hope of being accepted here and started farming resentment instead!

Shen Yuan is fucked!! What sort of half-assed blackening prevention plan starts this late!?

“Ah, so Luo-shidi must already be 15, or nearly there,” Shen Yuan says aloud, laughing nervously. “Are you, um, sure?”

Please, please tell this pitiful Shixiong of yours that you just misspoke!!

Luo Binghe looks at him like he’s an idiot. Shen Yuan can feel nervous sweat beading along his forehead.

“It’s just - well, Luo-shidi is quite small, for being 15,” Shen Yuan says, and then nearly bites his tongue in an attempt to correct himself. Who is he to call the protagonist ‘small,’ ah!! “Not quite small! Only a bit! Only - uh, only slightly smaller than I’d expect! It’s only that I’m already 19, and Luo-shidi is much - I mean only a little! - shorter than I am, so -”

Shen Yuan makes himself shut up. You’re making a fool of yourself in front of the protagonist, you idiot!

“This one will be sure to train more to get bigger,” Luo Binghe says, though it sounds a bit like he’s talking through gritted teeth.

“No, no, you’re training plenty!” Shen Yuan rushes to say. “Uh, that is - admittedly, I’ve been off peak for some time now, but when I was Luo-shidi’s age, things like chopping wood were a group chore, so if you’re managing it all by yourself, surely you’re… big and strong…”

Shen Yuan shuts up again. Luo Binghe stares at him some more, but there’s something in his expression that seems more considering that it had been just a moment ago.

After a long stretch of awkward silence, he seems to come to some sort of resolution, and takes a hesitant step towards Shen Yuan.

“Forgive this one’s ignorance,” he says, slow and careful. “The other Shixiong said it was a chore best done alone to build strength. Is that wrong?”

“Very wrong,” Shen Yuan says, nearly beside himself with relief.

Good, very good! Luo Binghe hasn’t lost all hope for his time on Qing Jing Peak just yet, after all! Given the chance, he’ll still try to carefully raise the issue of his bullying to a responsible Shixiong to take care of!

Shen Yuan can so be a responsible Shixiong that takes care of reports of bullying for Luo Binghe!!

“Oh,” Luo Binghe says, edging even closer to Shen Yuan. “Then what does Shen-shixiong think I should do?”

“Luo-shidi doesn’t have to do anything about this,” Shen Yuan says firmly. “This Shixiong will take care of finding out who’s meant to be sharing this chore with you and make them do the rest of it.”

“There might be multiple people,” Luo Binghe offers, still speaking with a caution that makes it quite clear how likely he thinks it is that Shen Yuan’s assistance will vanish as soon as Luo Binghe complains too much.

“Because Luo-shidi has been made to do this chore alone for many days, now?” Shen Yuan asks.

Still looking a bit wary, Luo Binghe nods. Shen Yuan sighs, having expected that answer, and takes the final steps needed to get within arm’s reach of Luo Binghe. Luo Binghe watches him closely, his hands curling tighter around the ax he’d been using to chop the wood.

Moving slowly so as not to spook him, Shen Yuan raises one hand to place gently on Luo Binghe’s head. He really is too short for 15, but Shen Yuan knows all the details of ‘why’ - having to work too hard with not enough rest, having meals withheld from him or being served with spoilt ingredients - any kid would be a bit small, when under those conditions.

Luo Binghe had gone stiff under Shen Yuan’s touch, and Shen Yuan takes a moment to pet the top of his head for a moment before saying anything else, hoping to get Luo Binghe to relax again.

Ah, I really did mean to try and keep you safe, Shen Yuan thinks to himself, feeling regretful. He’d come to Cang Qiong with the intention of finding Luo Binghe early, after all, and had worked as hard as he had in order to be ready for Luo Binghe when he came.

But then he had worked too hard, and Shen Qingqiu had promoted him to head disciple, and suddenly Shen Yuan thought he might go insane if he wasn’t able to get off Qing Jing Peak and stay off for as long as he could possibly get away with, and -

How stupid of him. Luo Binghe must have been taken in during the disciple selection the very same year that Shen Yuan had taken off on his extended field trip. How very, very stupid of Shen Yuan, to think that things wouldn’t go upside down the second he looked away - this is Luo Binghe’s story, after all, and it’s always been a bit of a tragedy.

“Then this Shixiong can only apologize to you,” Shen Yuan says softly, with perhaps just a bit too much sincerity. “And in the future, if you’re given this sort of work again, I’ll chop wood in your place.”

Under his hand, Luo Binghe peers up at Shen Yuan with wide, hungry eyes. Shen Yuan gives him a final pat before withdrawing his hand, and plasters his friendly smile back on his face.

“Now, why don’t you get cleaned up, hm? I’ll meet you again later - this Shixiong of yours still needs to report back to Shizun that I’ve returned from my trip.”

Luo Binghe nods, still watching Shen Yuan with an intensity that would feel more at home on an emperor than a scrawny 15 year old, and Shen Yuan beats a hasty retreat.

Despite all the pretty promises he made to Luo Binghe, he’s going to have to think of something clever to actually be able to fulfill them.

After all, not even all of his meta knowledge combined would be able to save Shen Yuan from his Shizun.

---

Shen Yuan has been pacing outside Shen Qingqiu’s bamboo house for ten minutes now. Nothing he can think of is good enough to convince someone as petty and stubborn as Shen Qingqiu.

Once, at the start of his time on Qing Jing Peak, Shen Yuan had tied his disciple robes wrong, unused to wearing anything quite so complex. Shen Qingqiu had sneered at his mistake in the moment, and then for every major event in the next five years straight he’d made a point to comment snidely on how well Shen Yuan has managed to dress himself.

That’s the sort of mean streak this man has!! If he doesn’t like something, he’ll keep harping on that one thing for years, even after that thing isn’t around to bother him anymore! How is Shen Yuan supposed to coax Luo Binghe out of the jaws of a man like that?

Ah, forget it, forget it! Shen Yuan would just - he’d come back another day! Greeting Shen Qingqiu wasn’t really necessary, Shen Yuan could just -

“I was under the impression that Shen Yuan was a head disciple returning from field work, not a child trying to avoid bedtime.”

Shen Yuan whips around, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end like a spooked cat. There, kneeling elegantly on his front porch not ten meters from Shen Yuan, is Shen Qingqiu.

“Shizun!” Shen Yuan cries, trying to force his grimace into a nice, polite smile. “When did - I mean - this disciple means -”

Shen Qingqiu closes his fan with a harsh snap, and Shen Yuan shuts his mouth so fast he almost bites his tongue.

“Well?” Shen Qingqiu asks dryly, and Shen Yuan hurriedly drops into a bow.

“This disciple greets Shizun!” Shen Yuan shouts, his ears burning with embarrassment.

Shen Qingqiu hums, and Shen Yuan risks peeking out from his bow to look at him.

He does not look especially pleased.

With all the elegance of a wild cat, Shen Qingqiu unfolds himself from his kneeling position on the porch and glides over to Shen Yuan.

“Too low,” he says, slapping at Shen Yuan’s wrists with his fan. “Or was Shen Yuan hoping there would be a replacement head disciple waiting for him by the time he came back from his trip?”

“Ahahaha,” Shen Yuan wheezes, carefully correcting himself into a bow of a slightly higher ranked disciple than the one he’d originally slipped into. “Of course this disciple is honored by the position and very very grateful for Shizun’s benevolence in leaving it to him even during his absence…”

“What advice does Shen Yuan think his Shizun has for him?” Shen Qingqiu asks sharply, and Shen Yuan winces.

“‘Talk less,’ Shizun,” he recites dutifully. It is advice that Shen Qingqiu has given him many, many times.

Shen Qingqiu sniffs haughtily and walks a slow circle around Shen Yuan, inspecting him. Shen Yuan tries not to sweat too profusely. He really had been hoping that Shen Qingqiu may have forgotten about Shen Yuan in his years away, ah!

Finally, Shen Qingqiu completes his inspection, stopping once more in front of Shen Yuan.

“What sort of pathetic creature has Shen Yuan carved the bones of to make his hairpiece?” He asks, using his fan to prod at Shen Yuan’s hairpin.

“A Hundred Year Crystal Tortoise, Shizun,” Shen Yuan answers.

“And the leather of your belt?”

“A Golden-Footed Acidic Bear, Shizun.”

“And did you even bother to remove the -”

“- the needle hairs beneath the Bear’s skin before treating the pelt,” Shen Yuan interrupts. “Yes, Shizun.”

Shen Qingqiu scoffs. “How bold you’ve gotten, interrupting your Shizun.”

“...Sorry, Shizun,” Shen Yuan mumbles, deflating a bit.

“Still,” Shen Qingqiu sighs, and Shen Yuan peeks back up at him again. “You did decent enough, I suppose.”

Shen Yuan perks up, half-standing up out of his bow. “Thanking Shizun -!”

Shen Qingqiu whacks him over the head with his fan. “If Shen Yuan’s trip had been only a single year, instead of nearly four!”

Shen Yuan very quickly gets back into the proper deferential position.

“Fleeing so quickly after being promoted, only to stay away for this long - I hope Shen Yuan is comfortable sleeping on the ground, because I’ve long since given up keeping the side room in my house for an absent head disciple. I filled it with cursed artifacts and dusty books two years ago.”

“Shizun -!” Shen Yuan protests, starting to stand up again. He’d liked that little room, damn it! It was the one decent part of being promoted to head disciple in the first place, even if it meant sharing a roof with this asshole!!

Shen Qingqiu whacks him again, and Shen Yuan obediently shuts up.

“Foolish boy,” he scolds, before promptly turning on his heel to stalk back to the bamboo house. “Hurry up, then,” he calls behind him, “I want to see if you still make tea as dreadfully as you did before.”

Shen Yuan makes a face at Shen Qingqiu’s back. Without looking behind him, Shen Qingqiu uses his qi to send a single leaf flying to Shen Yuan’s head, slapping him on the forehead right over where Shen Yuan’s brows had bunched together.

Shen Yuan smooths his face out into a perfectly polite smile once more. This asshole, he curses inwardly, he really is scum!! The lowest of the low!! A bully!!!

“Tea, Shen Yuan,” Shen Qingqiu calls once more, and Shen Yuan hurries to catch up.

---

Later, after Shen Yuan has dutifully given a retelling of his adventures over the last few years, and after Shen Qingqiu has grilled him on every mistake he made and how stupid that was of him and how shitty his tea still tastes, Shen Yuan finally manages to bring up Luo Binghe.

“This disciple met someone new this morning,” he says, pouring Shen Qingqiu more of his apparently awful tea.

“Was Shen Yuan sure they were new? Perhaps it’s been so many years your brain has started to forget the faces of the idiots here in favor of whatever foolish beasts you’ve been studying.”

“Someone new,” Shen Yuan confirms, pretending to ignore Shen Qingqiu’s very pointed glare. “He was a disciple even younger than Ning-shimei, and you only picked her out the year before I left.”

“Ah,” Shen Qingqiu says, and all of a sudden Shen Yuan thinks that perhaps his Shizun has never been truly irritated with him in the past, because this expression is far more acidic than anything Shen Yuan has seen before.

“A-ah…?” Shen Yuan says, stupidly.

Shen Jiu sets his cup down with a harsh clink. “Shen Yuan should ignore that little beast. He won’t bring you any good news.”

“Shizun, this disciple likes beasts best,” Shen Yuan says. “Is he so bad?”

“Ignore him,” Shen Qingqiu repeats frostily.

Shen Yuan swallows. This… there’s no way that he’ll be able to convince Shen Qingqiu to give Luo Binghe an honest shot in this one conversation. He can’t bet on being able to eventually wear him down, though, either - even if he does eventually convince him, if it takes a year to do it, that’s also not any good. Shen Yuan needs to be able to help Luo Binghe now.

Okay. This is fine. Shen Yuan has - he has so many very good ideas, all of them very well thought out and full of strategic benefits. He can use any one of these very good and smart ideas.

“I understand, Shizun,” Shen Yuan says, “That beast won’t be a shidi of mine, then.”

“Good, now -”

“But what about as a pet?”

Shen Qingqiu stares at him. Shen Yuan stares back.

“A pet,” Shen Qingqiu repeats.

“A pet,” Shen Yuan agrees. “Shizun, I already said that I like beasts best - if I can’t raise Luo Binghe to be my shidi, can’t I raise him as my pet instead?”

“Don’t be foolish,” Shen Qingqiu snaps. “Beasts aren’t for keeping.”

“Sometimes they are - Cang Qiong has a whole peak dedicated to such a thing,” Shen Yuan points out. Shen Qingqiu’s scowl grows more fierce.

“Qing Jing is above such dirty work,” he spits.

Shen Yuan swallows again, his hands clenched tightly in his lap. He’s already started down this path; he may as well place all his bets on making it through.

“Then perhaps Qing Jing is not for this disciple after all,” Shen Yuan says, trying to keep his voice steady. It still comes out a bit reedy, but at the very least, his voice doesn’t crack over the words.

Shen Qingqiu’s eye twitches. “Speak plainly - Shen Yuan has already spent several years neglecting his duties. How much farther do you intend to stray?”

“Shizun so graciously held the position of head disciple open for this one,” Shen Yuan hedges. “On that topic, isn’t it possible for head disciples to choose to spend a decade or so on a different peak of their choice, to encourage diversity in education and cross-peak relationships before the head disciple becomes beholden to their peak as a lord? Perhaps I could take in a pet on a different peak, with such a method.”

“That’s a custom reserved for older disciples,” Shen Qingqiu spits, “intended to benefit them in the years directly leading up to their ascension as a peak lord, not when the head disciple is just a little whelp with a century ahead of them before they can wear a lord’s crown.”

“No such rule is written anywhere, Shizun.”

“Then I’ll write it,” Shen Qingqiu hisses. “Shen Yuan, you’ve had your fun these past years - now you are to stay on this peak.”

“Then I want a pet,” Shen Yuan says, tilting his head up defiantly. “It’ll benefit Shizun, too: you won’t have to feed or clothe him anymore, nor train him to be a cultivator.”

Not that you were doing any of those things for Luo Binghe before, ah!! Shen Yuan thinks, trying to focus on that feeling of indignation. If he just thinks about that - about the horror of coming across Luo Binghe in that clearing earlier, too scrawny to be 15 and yet wary enough of the world he may as well have been an adult - then Shen Yuan can hold his ground.

If he just thinks about Luo Binghe as a neglected kid, and he just thinks of Shen Qingqiu as that child’s abuser -

If he just thinks about that, then Shen Yuan can meet the eyes of the man who has taught him and promoted him and housed him in the side room of his house, and he can demand this one thing.

“With what funds would Shen Yuan be able to feed and clothe his pet?” Shen Qingqiu asks sharply. “With what free time would he train him not to bite?”

“This one is the head disciple of Qing Jing Peak,” Shen Yuan says. “If a head disciple couldn’t manage that much, they certainly couldn’t deserve to ascend as a peak lord in the future.”

Shen Qingqiu falls silent, unfurling his fan and raising it high up his face until only his eyes peered out the top of it, watching Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan’s hands twist in his lap, but he keeps his gaze steady.

“A head disciple does not run away from the position,” Shen Qingqiu says.

“Nor does a master run off from their pet,” Shen Yuan agrees.

There’s another moment of quiet as they both watch each other. When Shen Qingqiu speaks again, his voice is firm, like someone reciting basic peak rules and not the terms of the most batshit insane agreement Shen Yuan has ever brokered.

“You will stay on Qing Jing,” Shen Qingqiu says, “and you will accept the head discipleship position without fuss.”

“Yes, Shizun.”

“No more trips. No more pretending to forget to introduce yourself as my head disciple. No more pushing your pathetic disciple brothers at me with paperwork that you clearly filled out in some sort of foolish scheme to have me consider them over you.”

Shen Yuan winces. “Yes, Shizun.”

“You will not receive any additional allowance, for any reason, outside of the funds normally provided to a head disciple. Any pests you pick up will not sleep in my house, nor will you be allowed to request room in the dormitories for any such creature. Those resources are for disciples, not beasts.”

Shen Yuan hesitates. Luo Binghe can’t sleep in the rundown woodshed forever, and he wants to protest the idea that the dorms are for disciples, as if Luo Binghe was ever allowed in there in the first place.

Shen Qingqiu taps one finger on the table. “Answer, Shen Yuan.”

“This disciple agrees under one condition,” Shen Yuan says. “Using his personal funds, this disciple would like to request permission to make moderate renovations to a peak structure in order to improve the quality of kept wood.”

Shen Qingqiu scoffs. “Disciple Shen Yuan’s personal funds will be drained by feeding an animal - you will not be able to afford the standards that Qing Jing exacts for renovation projects.”

“This disciple has been collecting favors from An Ding. They will be repaid, and this disciple will be able to afford the project.”

“Shen Yuan had best not be caught collecting any such favors forcibly,” Shen Qingqiu warns, which is very distinctly a ‘don’t get caught blackmailing people’ warning and not a blanket ‘don’t blackmail people’ one.

“Of course,” Shen Yuan agrees. “This one is the personal disciple of Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu - how could I get caught in such a way?”

Read: you’ve made sure I understand how to not get caught when doing something shady, at the very least!!

Shen Qingqiu waves his fan once, twice - he’s irritated, but doesn’t necessarily disagree.

“Fine,” he says at last. “Permission for a renovation to that ugly woodshed is granted. And Shen Yuan’s answer to all other stipulations?”

“This disciple agrees.”

Shen Qingqiu slaps his fan closed in one palm. “Then Shen Yuan is allowed a pet. I won’t interfere further.”

Shen Yuan nods. He expected as much; Shen Qingqiu won’t egg on any further bullying, nor will he stop Shen Yuan from taking any measures he pleases when it comes to Luo Binghe, but he won’t help Shen Yuan dissuade the current bullying.

That’s fine - already, this is enough to help Luo Binghe.

“Thanking Shizun,” Shen Yuan says, bowing his head slightly. “This disciple will not disappoint.”

After all, how hard could raising the protagonist be? This world revolves around Luo Binghe; all Shen Yuan needs to do is make Luo Binghe’s everyday life a bit less miserable, give him just one person he can trust. Luo Binghe will manage the rest himself, by nature of being who he is - what he is.

Yes, this - this is the best way.

---

Outside the bamboo house, crouched beneath a window so still his muscles ache and his head feels woozy from how shallow he’s kept his breathing, Luo Binghe listens to his Shizun and Shixiong move on to discuss cleaning out the side room now that Shen Yuan has returned to the peak.

A pet, he thinks, his eyes blown wide, his fingers digging deep into the ground beneath his knees. He can feel dirt caking the underside of his fingernails, and the scars he leaves in the ground are very much like an animal, indeed.

A pet, he thinks again, over and over on loop in his mind, his pretty Shixiong’s voice fading to background noise. He thinks of Shen Yuan gently patting his head like one might coax a dog, and he thinks -

Yes, a pet.

#please forgive any grammar/flow issues w this if i tried to edit it i would have come to you w a 6k oneshot instead of a 4k one LMFAO #i'll probs clean it up and post it on ao3 after rent a bingge is done! for now tho enjoy uwu #svsss #bingqiu #scum villain's self saving system #fic drabble

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raisedbythetv89 · 1 year ago

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OK.

ALRIGHT.

It’s official…I’ve gone insane but it’s all their fault for being such insanely talented actors who gave so much nuance to their performances

I hadn’t given this moment in “Crush” the attention it deserves but the reason it’s so important is this is the first time Buffy lays eyes on Spike after Dawn tells her Spike is completely in love with her and Spike is literally at her house charming her family and planning to ask her out on their first date NOT date aka the biggest and boldest move he has made in an attempt to move them from enemies to lovers

She’s been going on and onnnn about how sick and wrong it is and how freaked out she is about the idea of “the slayer” and “the slayer of slayers” in love since she found out BUT THEN SHE ACTUALLY LAYS EYES ON HIM AND SEES HIM FITTING PERFECTLY INTO HER FAMILY AND LIFE AND MAKING HER MOM SMILE AND HER SISTER FEEL NORMAL AND SAFE and she has this like soft shocked bewilderment and she’s looking to him like “care to explain why you’re sitting on my kitchen counter rn?” (them having secret conversations with just their eyes in front of her family makes me insane 😩) and not one single look of disgust that she’s been claiming to feel all day because she’s surprised and therefore her guards aren’t up

And he’s got his terrified deer in headlights look he gets every time he first sees her unexpectedly 😭

and it’s SO CUTE because he is so terrified and he knows this is lunacy and the idea of them is insane and makes no sense but still in his heart of hearts he is a brave, vulnerable romantic. Shooting his shot just like he did with Cecily because “fella’s gotta try” compared to Angel who stalked her for over a YEAR before introducing himself and was the most wishy-washy, bread crumbing mother fucker when it came to actually being with her and Riley who had to be told he liked her and then had to get a bunch of help from Willow before he even made a move. Riley and Angel are genuinely both cowards who want to play the hero but never truly had the courage to do so which is why they always infantilized and shamed/guilted Buffy into being smaller to make them feel bigger which is the CORE of why Spike is literally the only one of all of Buffy’s romantic interests worthy of her because of his bravery, despite knowing with the utmost certainty he will fail and get hurt over and over again, that doesn’t stop him from trying anyway. He’s the only one brave enough and tbh crazy enough to love Buffy Summers in the ways she both needs and deserves.

And I SWEAR the softness in her gaze and overall demeanor of dazed bewilderment and considering what she’s seeing in front of her just gives off this vibe to me that a part of her really likes the scene she’s walked into, the part of her Dawn represents that’s considering, again (but now with new light because I think she’s already considered it after “Something Blue”) what her life would be like if she dated Spike. It’s this TINY MOMENT of her girlhood that still exists under her slayer armor shining through - she’s seeing her (forbidden) crush after finding out she’s his (forbidden) crush too and he’s in her kitchen!! Making an effort with her family and he’s so CUTE and laughing and she basically classic Buffy swoons over a cute boy for just a second before her armor is back on and it’s actually too much for me

AND SPIKE uggghh 😭 he shifts sitting up taller like his inner William standing up when his lady walks in combined with his punk persona that meets every challenge head on but always with a bit of attitude and swagger. Already ready for the battle that is William the Bloody trying to love The Slayer.

This tiny moment of unspoken communication and body language perfectly encompasses what they both bring out in and give to each other and I’m obsessed. Spike brings out the abandoned young girl who is soft and vulnerable and just needs love and support and Buffy gives our brave, big-hearted, protective warrior looking for his place of belonging and people finally worthy of his love that he can care for and protect.

Am I insane for writing all of this about a 2 second clip? Yes, yes I am but this moment is IMPORTANT and it happens so quickly yet it contains so much and completely backs up what I already knew about this episode which was that the only reason Buffy was making such a big deal about Spike being in love with her is because she’s VERY attracted to him but that was so much easier to ignore before she knew the feelings were reciprocated. If she didn’t care about Spike she wouldn’t care about his feelings because they would be of no consequence to her but now…. her crush on her mortal enemy that’s killed two slayers wasn’t a big deal because it was literally never gonna happen…… suddenly could happen and she was SO unprepared for how to handle all of that and so overcompensating the entire episode and beyond 😹😹😹 because also it’s been well established how perceptive Spike is about how people are doing and what they’re feeling so when he says he knows there is something between them he’s not being delusional he is right on the money which freaks her out even more because how could he know about something she didn’t know about herself AGAIN 😹

#spuffy #spuffy meta #meta #spike and buffy #buffy summers wants the cringe lovesick vamp in her kitchen so bad your honor

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wizzdot · 6 months ago

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The Patron Saint of One Way Trips

Ch3

Description: third chapter - who am i updating twice today?! Anyway, Laika gets upset, Kyle is a sweet baby angel. We hate Soap and Ghost rn, Price is ok, I guess. Will just have to wait and see if they make up. Guess we will just stick with Gaz for the time being, huh? We find out a little more about Laika’s past here, but she is keeping things close to her chest. Who will she open up to first?

The car ride, so far, hasn't been an enjoyable one. I feel caged in between Gaz's large body and the door. I try to take up as little space as possible, deciding to uncomfortably twist my body and stare out of the window. There isn't much to see. We seem to be driving through the middle of nowhere, and I dare not ask where we were going or when we would arrive. I decide, instead, to watch the raindrops slide down the window, taking bets on which one would make it furthest before collecting too much weight and flying off of the glass into the wind.

I glance around a couple of times and accidentally make eye contact with the masked man through the side mirror. I decided not to look in that direction again. I cannot shake the itch of his gaze, though. He truly does terrify me.

I sit there uncomfortably before my eyes start feeling heavy. It was late—it must be around 2 a.m —and pitch black outside. I want my nest, if you can even call it that. My cell isn't exactly luxurious, but it is - was - my space. The facility had stripped me of everything. I was found with just the clothes on my back, and now all I have left is a filthy handkerchief that I was found with, that I have somehow managed to hold on to. I swear it still has the lingering scent of...before.

The handkerchief in question is currently tied around my upper arm. I use it as a makeshift cushion for my sniper rifle. I told myself that it lessened the jolt of the recoil, but it doesn't, if the permanent bruise on my bicep is anything to go by. It goes everywhere with me, it is all I have that reminds me of what I was before I became a puppet for the Russians. When I'm in the comfort of my own nest and hear the lock click in place, I use it as a pillow. It smells of something I cannot place, maybe it just doesn't hold the smell of the cold, damp cell, but I find it grounds me regardless.

I decided to try and get it from my arm. I need grounding right about now. I try to reposition myself quietly, making a huge effort not to make a sound or touch Gaz, who is having a quiet conversation with the captain. As I turn, I can see that Soap is fast asleep, head lulled back against the window. His mouth is wide open, and he is on the verge of snoring. I know that the scary masked one is watching me through his mirror as he tenses as I start to move—just ever so slightly, but enough to scare me a bit. It throws me off my task, and I ever so gently brush my elbow against Gaz's ribs. He immediately glances down at me.

I freeze and stare up at him. "S-sorry" I stutter, trying to back myself as close to the car door as i can. "What are you trying to do?" He asks me softly. I shake my head as if to say 'just leave it' but Gaz is too observant for that. He notices my tiny glance down at the handkerchief tied around my arm and acts immediately.

"Oh shit, are you hurt under there? Hold still, let me look." He must assume that I'm using it as a makeshift bandage. Something deep inside of me snaps and I growl at him as he reaches for the piece of fabric. I feel all of the eyes in the car snap to me immediately, even Soap's, who has woken from his sleep. The Captain must tap the brakes as I slide forward slightly, causing me to whimper due to the loss of balance. I quickly correct my seat and twist away from Gaz and stare at my feet. If I could curl into a ball and disappear, I would do it in a heartbeat. Embarrassment, shame and fear wracks my body. I sit and whimper in the back corner of the car.

That is until a soft hand touches my shoulder, so gently that I almost don't feel it. "Hey shh, Laika, I'm sorry - I didn't mean to snatch at you like that. Let me look.. I just want to make sure you're ok." I shake my head and whisper a broken "I'm fine" at him, without looking at him. He starts rubbing a small pattern into my shoulder. "Ok, that's fine. Were you uncomfortable? I felt you moving before you snapped at me". Damn him and his soft nature, the use of the word 'snapped' floods me with shame. "S-sorry. Didn't mean it. I don't bite.. promise. Just got scared.. It's mine.. no one else can touch it." I explain weakly, feeling utterly pathetic.

Gaz continues to dig: "It's yours? The bandana on your arm" - "s'not a bandana, it's a handkerchief" I interrupt. He laughs slightly at that, Soap pipes up from beside him "Aht's you been telt boyo" he says chuckling. I quickly flit my eyes at them and see Soap chuckling away to himself and Gaz rolling his eyes. "Sorry" I whisper, looking at Gaz for the first time in a while.

He immediately finds my eyes and smiles. "Stop saying sorry.. You didn't do anything" he says kindly. I relax slightly at that before the masked man in the front who had been silent the whole ride decides to shatter any progress I had made with Gaz.

"That's debatable. A girl with that much blood on her hands - I wouldn't call that 'didn't do anything'" he barks. I immediately tense up and curl into a ball, shaking. Tears pool in my eyes. "He's right," I whimper. "I'm a monster."

Gaz's eyes flash angrily at the mask man who only shrugs and grunts in response before looking back out the front window. He immediately looks back to me with the softest eyes, I almost have whiplash from the change in emotion he showed so quickly. "We don't know enough of the facts to make a judgement on that yet. And as far as I can tell, you are no monster. You're just a small bug that got caught in a spider's web. Is that closer to the truth, Laika?" He asks.

His brown eyes don't look away, I almost feel like nodding in agreement but my stupid, self destructive brain overrides that decision. "I am a monster though. I've killed people. Good people, I think. Lots of them. And people have been killed because of my actions too." He listens intently "What do you mean you think?" he asks. "I- I was told that they were bad - but they couldn't all have been bad. I think I was the bad one. So he's right" I glance at the masked man.

"Tell me, did you want to do it?" he asks - I shake my head immediately "No - never - But the punishments.. I couldn't.. and then the drugs and tests.. I was too weak.. I should have died.. You should kill me" I rush out, tripping over my words and interrupting myself.

I jump in my seat slightly when the Captain's gruff, authoritative voice snaps though my self loathing rambling. "No one - and I mean this - is going to kill you. And we will get to the bottom of this. We have friends in high places, they will dig into your past and see what happened. Until then, we give you a room at base, keep you safe and go from there. We aren't in the business of punishing innocents." His speech stuns me into silence again and I find myself just staring into space.

"And for the record - I agree with Gaz." He adds, practically spitting his anger at the masked man for making the accusation in the first place. "Now, let's all calm down - let Gaz check your arm, lass. That's an order". My eyes widened, panicked, still not wanting Gaz to take my handkerchief. My eyes shoot to his and I ever so slightly shake my head once. He tilts his head slightly as if to ask 'Please?'. God, he has his puppy dog eyes down. I look at my arm and back to him before quickly untying the fabric from my arm and presenting my uninjured arm to him. Obedience is rewarded, my brain repeats its favorite mantra. I stuff the handkerchief into my pocket for safe keeping.

"Can I touch your arm?" Gaz asks, asking for consent again. I nod once. He gently takes my arm and turns it over in his gentle grip. "No wounds, but a deep bruise" He announces to the team. The mask man turns in his seat briefly before facing the front again and just barks "Sniper".

"You a good shot then?" Gaz asks me. "I don't miss" I reply bluntly. He nods. "What else can you do?" He digs for more information. "Gaz.." the pack's alpha warns from the driver's seat "Don't push your luck".

"I can do most things. Don't like hand to hand though.. I-I'm not as strong.." I muse. He nods. Soap interrupts, "Ya like bombs, lassie?" "No." I immediately responded, shutting him off. I've decided that Gaz is my favorite, followed by The Captain. Then a long gap to Soap, who just seems pushy and insensitive, and then an even longer gap to the masked man who I don't even have a name for. I don't care to find out either.

The car settles back down, and I turn back to my window. Soap has opened his window to let some air in, but it makes me shiver. I'd never been good in cold climates—ironic, I had survived the long Russian winters for all this time, really. I try to close my eyes and pretend to sleep. I slowly remove the handkerchief from my pocket and lift it to my ear, resting it between the window and my head. I inhale the smell gently, trying to imagine what it used to smell like. I drift into a half sleep - half awake state and then feel something soft and warm drape over me. I resist the urge to jump out of fear. It's the last thing I feel before finally falling asleep.

The car pulls to a halt. I wake up as soon as I hear a car door open, always on edge. I pull my cover towards me, clutching to it like a shield, until my brain processes where I am and what to do. I meet Gaz's kind gaze again. "We are here, back at our safehouse. Put it on.. It's cold out."

I look at him as if he had grown two heads, confused, until I realise I am clutching a dark coloured jacket. It has a Union flag on the sleeve. I spot the tags inside the jacket, black pen writes 'Garrick' over the washing instructions. It reminds me of how my mother wrote my name inside my school pullover. Y/N - That was a whole lifetime ago. I hadn't forgotten my name, but it had slipped into obscurity a long time ago. It was connected to a hope I had long since lost. I must have zoned out because Gaz - Garrick? - clearshis throat.

I quickly stand, putting the jacket on obediently and stuffing my handkerchief in the pocket for safe-keeping. The jacket is big, but it's warm. I ball the extra sleeve length into balls in my fists and squeeze them as if they are stress balls. Gaz hides his triumphant glee at seeing a cute little thing in his clothes. It awakens a side of his Alpha that had been dormant for so long.

Gaz was, arguably, the least trait-typical Alpha in his pack. It was unusual to have a pack full of Alphas but they made it work. Seeing a non-Alpha trust him and, inadvertently, covered in his scent, awakened an inbuilt reflex to protect. He steps closer and offers his arm to lead me into the safe house.I shake my head gently, not quite ready to accept his touch. He respects my decision and shows the way with his arm.

He smiles as I step towards him. I smile back up at him this time.

#gaz x reader #john price x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soap x reader #price x reader #captain john price #poly 141 #task force 141 #kyle gaz x reader #omega reader #abo dynamics #kyle gaz garrick #john soap mctavish x reader #simon riley

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sillyromance · 8 months ago

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I feel you heart pounding heavily against your ribs as you lie in my arms, looking me right in the eyes. My stomach rumbles beside you, politely announcing of its emptiness, but don't get tricked. It's almost painful, evil sensation which clenched my insides firmly like vice, turning them inside out while they are struggling with hunger. However, I just smile. You're here not to satisfy me, but yourself. You're small, and sad, and scared. That's OK. There is no shame in that...

I bring you up closer to my face - your skin gets pale as instinctive fear kicks in your veins. I don't hurry; your tiny palms run over my cheeks and lips; I force back the wish to taste your adorable little fingers - they have such a good smell... I ask if you still want me to send you there. After a moment, you nod, still worried but sure about your decision. I smile gently and rub your head in attempt to comfort you, although I know it's not enough. I'm a switch after all; no need to tell me how hard it is to go through this for the first time.

Finally, I open my mouth wide and lift you up to put your feet right on my awaiting tongue. The flavour is... Beautiful; I can't help but exhale with pleasure savouring your skinny, cool ankles. Meanwhile, you're trembling. God, I feel so pity for you! My mind is spinning of misunderstanding, trying to process this controversial information of joy and grief combined together. Regardless, it doesn't take long for me to focus. I lock my attentive gaze on your figure; icy sweat covers your hot, pulsing neck, you're staring down at me with mix of doubt and terror. However, you don't ask me to stop. I play with your legs a little bit more, giving you a chance to get used to the situation, then go for the next level, pushing you in just slightly and making you knees disappear in my maw. You gasp as my teeth accidentally touch your vulnerable skin; I rapidly part them to ease the tension. Your toes wiggle in my pharynx, I have to grant you a pleading look to say it disturbs me, so you hold still. I feel bad for making barriers everywhere for you; I'm aware of horror growing in your chest with every passing moment, but it will be better for both of us if you don't squirm. I promise, I won't hurt you. It'll be over soon.

Well, the point of no return is near. I push you just a bit deeper, like this... Yeah. Now I can catch your limbs with my throat muscles. My grip weakens; I swallow. You faintly shriek. I fondle your back, relaxing your body which has suddenly become hard and solid like a rock, being paralysed with shock. I wait; after some seconds your powerless hand pat on my upper lip, permitting me to continue. Oh, you can't imagine how difficult it is to breathe in this position, to hold my instincts sleeping while even so miserable part of you has been already embraced by my throat... No. Don't think about it. It's fine. I swallow once more, your hips and belly entering my esophagus. My neck pleasantly stretches; my mouth shamelessly waters as I get more of your spicy taste, invisible molecules bursting soundlessly on the surface of my craving tongue. You sense this and shiver, your poor clothes getting instantly soaked in my sticky saliva. But I won't make you uncomfortable for long; glancing at your pretty muzzle one last time, I title my head back and let you simply slide inside, contracting my throat again, tracing you slowly passing every centimetre of it: down, down, down...

At last, I can gift my chest with fresh air. You slipped inside so smoothly that it startles me...

My waist is heavy; cute little lumps are walking around underneath my clothes. You're in my stomach now.

The organ whines with pleasure as abundant meal comes in. You are moving around, trying to find a suitable position in the limited space. I sigh, forgetting about the pangs of starvation at last - the fact I haven't eaten since morning to do this to you is nothing comparing to the heavenly sensation of you being inside my core. Now I'm shaking too. It's impossible to stay straight; I lie down cautiously, putting my hands on the expanded middle, tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

You. Are. In. There.

I devoured an alive person. It's so good that it hurts...

You are still nervous; I murmur kind, calming words and caress you within my full belly gurgling gladly at your presence. It's safe within me. I won't digest you. Just look around and see that there is no acid to burn you. You won't get suffocated 'cause you're breathing with me. I won't jostle you with harsh movements. I won't laugh at your helplessness. I'm here to hold you, to listen to your cries, to fight your demons with you side by side.

It's so good that you hear me and settle in. Your warm weight feels unreal and... Perfect. I don't let my arms go away from my abdomen, making them cover the bulge you have created as if I have committed a crime which I should hide now.

You don't need to feel anxious anymore. I have you.

I love you.

#soft vore #extreme cuddling #safe vore #willing pred #reluctant prey #comfort vore #first time vore #vore switch #willing prey

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kitsune-oji · 10 months ago

Note

hiii it's the luci and Satan anon again!! sorry for not being too specific (⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠) as for ideas, maybe nicknames they'd give the reader, how they'd care for them (if they're strict or not and the like!), activities they'd enjoy with them?

and thank u for telling me about the term btw!! I had no idea (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) I'll be more careful in da future!

Carer! Lucifer & Satan

Yeah sure, I hope this is what you meant! And no problem, I think there's no shame in not knowing something before. We all learn smth new every day and it's better not to assume something has been done out of maliciousness if it could be lack of knowledge. So I'm glad that I could help out in that way :) /gen

Gn! Reader

Relationships: Lucifer & Mc, Satan & Mc

Warnings/Tags: Age Regression, Regressor Reader, Fictional Carers, punishment mention, rules mention, headpats, bugs mention

Lucifer

Nicknames for tiny: little one, prince/ss/x, my child, puppy (depending on what you're ok with or like of course)

As a carer, Lucifer tends to be on the stricter side

This means he has clear rules and consequences for if you break them. However, they're mostly rules like not eating too much candy, brushing your teeth on time, managing screen time and making sure to drink enough water (not just juice!)

Consequences depend on the rule you broke, so for example if you ate candy in secret and lied, Lucifer would not hand out anymore candy for a certain amount of time or if you don't brush your teeth, he will come to you every night and brush them together with you to make sure you keep up with it now

"punishments" just turn out to do more harm than good usually and at least with you, he tries to restrain himself and show that he cares for you and your wellbeing, instead of making you fear and avoid him

Lucifer is also a big fan of work sheets and if you're old enough to work on them, likes to set you up in his office so you two can do "work" side by side

He even grades papers if possible, gives you little gold stickers and other rewards like candy and praises you for a job well done

Let's you sleep in his lap while he works too - he won't even complain when his legs fall asleep and just summon a cushion to make it easier on his legs while letting you sleep

Pats your head a lot - when he praises you, when he walks past you as you play, when you hug or cuddle and so on

Satan

Nicknames for tiny: kitty, pumpkin, kiddo, little one, bud (depending on what you're ok with or like of course)

As a carer, Satan is not necessarily strict per se but definitely goes more in that direction

He sets up a whole plan with you, makes little to do lists with illustrations so you remember to do things like brush your teeth, wash your face etc before bed for example

Having read into parenting books and tips to make sure he's not doing anything wrong, Satan understands quite a bit more about what things can help you, why you may react in some ways and how to work on problems in a way that isn't forced but a collaborative effort between you two

He's very enamored with you and even plays with you with stuffies if you like that. There are a bunch of cat stuffies that found their way on his bed and towers of books over time - so there's always one on hand when he wants to talk to you 'through' them

"Mr Claw wants to ask if you want to read a book together? How about..."

Favorite activity together is definitely reading out loud for you. Especially when it's an interactive book, like the ones that have little images instead of words so the kid can read out loud together with the adult

Also loves going outside though and playing in the park. If you like bugs, you can catch them and figure out what it's called together with an encyclopedia or if you don't, there are enough plants and the like outside you can identify!

Likes to give you little tasks/activities like finding something for every color of the rainbow and doing fun quizzes on stuff you learnt that day

Ruffles your hair if it's fine with you, otherwise just pats you on the head - when you're joking around, when you've gotten something right/done a good job and so on

#obey me shall we date #mine #om! swd #obey me nightbringer #race neutral mc #gender neutral reader #gn mc #fluff #age regressor reader #fandom agere #obey me agere #age regression #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #Headcanons #Hcs

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liasadventuretime · 2 years ago

Text

˗ˏˋyou jealous ? :) ´ˎ˗ - neteyam x reader pt. 6

⁀➷ part six : SHOW ME.

notes : how could i not publish a chapter on st valentine’s day ! here’s pt. 6, and let me know if y’all like it ! i decided to confuse y’all a bit, so just go look at how things went ;)

words : 5,24 k

tags : neteyam x reader x ao’nung, teasing, mentions of rape but nothing actually happening, words of comfort, alluding to smut in next part.

you woke up, lazily opening your eyes. neteyam holding you with his head on your chest, his arms tangled with your waist, the same way his legs were tangled with yours. you looked at him, asleep, his mouth slightly parted.

if his friends could see the way he was tangled to you like you were his moma, they would probably make fun of him for eternity. but at the same time, he was that comfortable that he could do whatever he wants with you without being ashamed.

he’s always been the biggest brother, he had to comfort and to guide others, and take care of everything, but who was there for him ? who could comfort him and guide him ?

the responsibilities sometimes weighted too much, making him break down.

but since you two started going to the beach, to smoke and talk, get everything off your mind, his life has progressed a lot. he always looked for you everywhere.

you’re the star he looks for every night.

you were there to be that motherly person he never had in his life. neytiri was a very good mother, but she sometimes didn’t realise how many responsibilities she laid on him. sometimes even pressuring him. but you didn’t pressure him into anything. you were just there to comfort him, do what he wanted to do, without feeling guilt or shame.

you loved the way he let you see that side of him. so fragile, so pure.

neteyam is a child in an adult’s body. because all of the things he’s been through, he’s grown up to be a tall child. you didn’t even realise that in the meanwhile, you shed a tear. everyone was so hard on him, even you. you made his life hell, like it wasn’t enough. you didn’t even think for a moment about the fact that he had to leave his home, the forest, and come here, where the people are different, where everyone judged him for not being metkayina.

you were shaken by him waking up. he hugged your torso, and still laid his head on your chest. you gently caressed his hair, laying a kiss on his head. you felt his lips curl on your skin. please, please, please don’t ever take neteyam away from me.

“neteyam” you said in a low tone.

“mh ?” he hummed back.

“we have to get up” he sighed, raising his head. you could see he was still tired, but at least if you two got up now, you could have breakfast and spend a bit of time together before parting ways. he had to train, and you had to talk to jake. you two are supposed to help ao’nung’s father with something you genuinely had no idea of. he lazily got up, giving you a hand. you looked at him for a sec, and he immediately understood what you wanted. he sighed once again, lifting you up, you hugged him. one hand on your ass, of course, and the other on your back. you circled his neck with your arms, laying a soft kiss on his neck.

he walked to the kitchen, plopping you down on the table once again. “can you go get the food from your parents’ pod ?” you said trying to convince him.

“oh c’mon ! my mom will skin me. at least go with me.” he said dragging you to the living room to get dressed. you huffed.

“ok fine !” he left a kiss on your cheek, putting a his cloth on. you picked out a top from your wardrobe, it was a shiny one with shells attached to it. it was definitely the prettiest one you had.

you felt neteyam behind you, unlatching it. you were super confused.

“no, ‘teyam we don’t have time-” you hurriedly said, eyebrows pinched in an angry expression. what sick idea was it to fuck before going to his parents’ pod ?

“if you think i’m letting you go to my dad’s pod in that tiny shiny top after i heard what you said last night about him, you have gone absolutely nuts.” he said, killing every protest of yours. he was seriously jealous of his dad ? you laughed, but also you couldn’t stop thinking about how much you loved him. this man was hilarious.

you put another top on, it was green, leafs covering it. he gave you an approving look which made you smile. you slowly walked out of your pod, enjoying every second you guys could have before starting the day.

“dad ? mom ?” neteyam asked, getting in his pod. you walked right behind him, noticing lo’ak and kiri eating on the table. “they’re not here…” kiri said with a questioning tone, eyeing the both of you. well, especially you.

she gave you that ‘you’re telling me everything later’ look, which you only smiled to. it’s not like you had any other option. lo’ak was even more confused than her, eyeing you both.

you sat down, keeping your distance from neteyam, since you still didn’t feel a hundred percent comfortable showing affection public. he noticed, sliding right beside you, a betting expression on his face, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the two guys that were in front of you. you coughed, trying to signal him to not get so close.

they both noticed the tension between y'all, so kiri decided to just tell y'all.

“so um…” she said, catching your attention, neteyam looking at her. she definitely noticed.

“… tuk has kind of already told us everything” kiri finished almost like it was a question more than an affirmation, she told them everything this morning when her and lo’ak couldn’t help but notice that the two of you were missing. you felt heat spread in your cheeks, not daring to make eye contact with lo’ak. just the thought of TUK knowing everything embarrassed you so much, you covered your face with your hands and deeply sighed. on the other hand, neteyam almost felt relived, his ears going up. he didn’t have to be the one to tell everything, and he also didn’t have to pressure you.

“oh, thank god.” he said, pulling you to sit on his lap, hand on your stomach, back pressed on his chest. “neteyam, have some fucking shame.” you said screaming, looking at him with an angry expression on your face, a confused expression on his.

“don’t you fucking scream at me, they know ! stop stressing, what the fuck.” he replied back, you could feel his legs tense under you. his eyebrows pinched together, mouth full of food.

“ugh, at least try and be ashamed ! and close your fucking mouth !” you screamed, forcing your hands on his jaw in an attempt at closing his mouth. he placed his bowl on the table, catching your hands holding them. “keep your goddamn hands off my face, you dirty slag !” he said, offended. kiri and lo’ak laughed at the scene, recognising that the two of you didn’t change one bit.

“and what the fuck are you laughing at ? lo’ak don’t think i’m not going to beat your ass later.” neteyam said dealing with them, lo’ak’s grin immediately dropping, your cheeks super red.

“NETEYAM !” you said, kiri widening her eyes even more, jaw falling. she looked at you, realising you told her nothing about it. “BRO I SWEAR IT WASN’T LIKE THAT !” lo’ak defended himself. you all laughed, easing the mood.

you slowly tried to get off neteyam’s lap, while he talked with lo’ak and kiri about something you weren’t listening to. you heard him stop talking, and realised he was side eyeing you.

he grabbed your thighs and replaced them on his lap. “stop moving, they already know we fucked and i took your virginity , don’t worry.” he chuckled and laughed. kiri gasped, but lo’ak laughed too.

in that moment, you felt a vein in your heart hurting. you felt naked, in front of all of them, getting thrown in the air like you were a piece of meat. such a special and important moment for you, getting talked about like you were one of his whores. neteyam didn’t notice at the beginning, but kiri did. she looked at you, almost asking sorry. but why would she apologise, it’s not her fault. you felt tears getting crowded in your eyes, and now you weren’t comfortable with neteyam’s hands all over your body. you felt stared at, even though kiri was the only person looking at you, caring about you. you regretted everything. the talks, the kisses, the sex, the love, the feelings.

in that exact moment, you wish you never met him. you thought he was different, you thought he could be better, but he is just the exact same. you felt dizzy, something heavily thumping in your head. kiri noticed your absent gaze, neteyam didn’t. how much did he really care about you ?

he found himself asking that question pretty often. since the dawn of time, you were only kind of a bet to him. something to win, a prize. without the sugarcoating, he saw you as an object. a very beautiful attractive shiny object, but still. he didn’t want to see you that way, but he just couldn’t. things obviously changed a bit, but your perception of his feelings towards you didn’t.

the way he was holding you inner thigh, the way his hand was grasping your shoulder, didn’t feel attractive anymore. it felt almost… molesting. kind of rapey too. you felt unsafe.

yes, between neteyam’s arms you felt unsafe. something that never occurred with ao’nung. you felt spikes chocking you, a heavy weight in your stomach, and you couldn’t manage to keep your tears to yourself.

did you make the right choice ?

a tear slipped from your eyes, and kiri noticed. you were literally trembling between neteyam's arms and he couldn't care or notice. you aggressively wiped it away, excusing yourself to get out of the pod. you needed some air. you couldn’t even breathe anymore, and you remembered neteyam’s hands. chocking you. no, let’s use the right words.

he was strangling you.

and you felt like a slut, because of how much you liked it, not realising you probably interpreted his actions wrongly. maybe he just wanted to abuse you, and you couldn’t even notice it because your brain and eyes were fogged with pleasure. your brain and eyes were fogged by him.

“excuse me.” you said, in the lowest tone possible. you got up, not being able to ignore the way neteyam’s eyes and fingers lingered on you, feeling like they were raping you. he didn’t even notice, and smirked at you. you felt almost like throwing up. kiri couldn’t hold back anymore, and as soon as you got out of the pod, she followed you.

you felt the fresh salty air get in your lungs, healing you, getting all the fog out of your brain. you couldn’t hold your tears back anymore, you weren’t even sobbing. just quiet tears scarring your face. those type of scars that never fade away.

you called your ilu, Dah’lia, and got on her back, your legs and feet now wet, feeling the ocean hug you more delicately than neteyam ever could. your ears sprung up, hearing kiri’s voice call you. you watched her as she got on her ilu’s back too. “( y/n ) ! wait !”

she was right beside you, wind blowing on your faces, bubbles tickling your feet, waves getting more and more big. “is everything okay ?” kiri spat out while trying to catch her breath.

you watched her as she brought a hand to your chest, while you decided what to say.

should you lie, say you’re fine, get back in your pod, and get meaninglessly fucked by your so called future mate, hoping every second he would not see the scared lonely shadow in your eyes, and hoping it would end as soon as possible, to able to just go to sleep, where neteyam couldn’t hover over you. the kid you were so in love with, would’ve never done such things, but still here we are. had you outgrown eachother ? was it a miscommunication type of thing ?

were you wrong for thinking about it that, or were you possibly overthinking again ?

should you say the truth ?

“i don’t know.” you calmly said to her, which wasn't entirely a lie, your voice hiding years of self doubt and hope. but hope saved no one, not even your secret hopeless romantic soul.

kiri sighed, her hand placed between your elbow and your shoulder, caressing it. it felt very different to neteyam’s touch, that once felt so protecting but now only felt dirty and disgusting.

“it’s just…” you sighed, gaze low, staring at the bottom of the ocean, so clear and so calm. you tried to collect your words, and explain everything to her. because she was the last person you wanted to disappoint by lying or even just lightly sugarcoating anything.

“… he said it, in that monotone, cold and materialistic way… that i almost felt like an object.” you finally said, a sob threatening to escape. spikes getting more and more heavy in your throat.

“oh, dear ( y/n ).” she said, hugging you. you grasped on her like your life depended on it, lowering your head on her shoulders, letting a few other tears escape. you could feel her heartbeat against your chest, calm and low. the heat of her hug, comforting you.

you let your thought and flaws flow inside of her, feeling all the negative energy get out of your system. you recollected yourself, and brushed every tear out of your face. you rapidly smiled at her, now having to go to jake and tonowari’s reunion.

“thank you.” you simply said. she smiled at you, kissing you on the cheek, still realising that neteyam could have never kissed you that delicately.

she brought her hand up, her ilu starting to go away as she said goodbye to you. you heard neteyam and lo’ak getting out of the pod, so you rapidly went away. neteyam noticed you, his smile slowly dropping finally realising that something could possibly be wrong.

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

jake saw you walking towards him, his arms opening to embrace you in a hug. he noticed your low mood, which he hates to admit has been your default these days. he didn’t want to be self-absorbed but he feared it was neteyam. you walked towards him, letting yourself melt in the hug, your head against his chest, his arms caressing your head. you felt tears prickle your eyes, but it was enough for today.

enough crying. you hugged him tighter, and he felt his heart squeeze in his chest. you felt your heart throb, and you couldn’t do anything but frown, tears threatening to fall. in this moment, you were so embarrassed about the way you talked about him that night with neteyam. you felt shame, almost like you were naked and everyone was watching you, once again.

you felt exposed, but who’s fault was it ? you were the one that exposed yourself.

you sniffed, catching his attention, him closely leaning to look at you in the eyes. you sniffed a couple more times, feeling your cheeks wet, and took a deep breath. jake looked at you with a sad tingle in his eyes. he was so wrong. he was so so wrong. but now you were knuckle deep.

he knew that even if you tried to leave neteyam, you would’ve had to kill him to actually be able to continue living your life. he was never going to leave you alone. as much as he loved you, he loved you in the wrong way. jake and neytiri recognised that, and they were not only scared for him but also his future mate.

neteyam couldn’t realise it, he was too deep in his fantasies, in his little sick world.

and unfortunately, you were absorbed in that world too.

the only way you could modify an already dried vase, is by breaking it.

you sucked in a deep breath, and smiled at him, tears still glossing your puffy eyes. he sadly smiled at you, trying to at least be your support for today.

you always thought neteyam was that father figure you needed in your life, not knowing you had the most perfect dad right in front of your eyes. maybe that’s why.

neteyam was jealous, jealous because jake treated you the way he should’ve been treated.

“why not me ?”

maybe he was overly protective and overly jealous of others, because he was scared you could find someone better. he knew there was someone better. just waiting for you to leave him, and embrace you in his arms, giving you the world and more.

he would rather see you unhappy with him, rather than happy with someones else.

because that was the last prove. he was not enough.

for you, for his dad, for lo’ak, for neytiri, for no one.

“atta girl.” he said, positioning his hand on your shoulder, comforting you.

“i love you, dad.” you slowly whispered. eyes looking up at him, you not knowing that he felt the same exact spiked in his throat, that you were feeling a bit of time ago.

“i love you too, daughter.” he said, giving you a light smile. he brought you next to him, hip to hip and walking towards tonowari’s pod. you enjoyed everything.

every breeze of wind, every ray of sun, because you never knew when it was going to be the last time, and if you only knew that that was the last time. jake got in, holding the flap for you, you entered. tonowari was seated in the centre, ao’nung next to him.

he was as shocked as you, not expecting you to be here. his eyes flashed open, his heart squeezing in his chest. he couldn’t breathe for a second, goosebumps flowing to his back.

same thing happened to you, trying hold the eye contact. god, how you missed him.

he immediately lowered his gaze, frowning towards nothing.

did it make you sad ? yes.

was it all your fault ? yes

you got out of your thoughts thanks to jake, who sat down, patting the place right next to him. ao’nung couldn’t even pretend that jake’s gesture didn’t remind him of what he did that night. of how you humiliated him. the way you ran in neteyam’s arms after everything.

tonowari looked at his son, his features softening as he saw ao’nung’s expression. he drifted his hand slowly on his back, patting it. it was going to be hard but he had to.

“so, were where we ?” tonowari said.

“oh yes, ao’nung’s mating ceremony.”

you were a hundred percent sure they heard your heart falling, because there was no fucking way. your head tilted upwards immediately, lips slightly parted, throat heavy . ao’nung’s squeezing his eyes as much as he could, just like jake.

“fuck.” was all he could think of, like things weren’t already as difficult as they could be for you. he noticed, the way your head tilted upwards, tears pooling in your eyes.

if he knew what the reunion was going to be about, he would’ve never brought you there with him. his heart thudding fast, his muscles tensing. ao’nung didn’t even think you were going to be there, tonowari knew a little to nothing about what happened between you two.

but he rapidly understood, it was much serious than he thought.

you swallowed the heavy lump in your throat. closed your eyes for a second and breathed, just like jake taught you.

“with who ?” you asked. a gasp almost leaving jake’s mouth, looking at you with a confused expression. how far did you want to go ? ao’nung looked up at you, lips parting to answer you, but he couldn’t. he physically couldn’t.

he was feeling sick to his stomach, having to pretend for the rest of his life that that woman was you. but she could never. she could never be as witty.

she could never be as caring.

she could never be as lovely.

she could never be as mean.

she could never be as evil.

she could never be as selfish.

she could never be you, end of discussion.

“Alyara.” tonowari said, softly smiling at you, which to be honest only made things worse.

you slowly nodded your head, lips pressed together.

the reunion continued, but without you. you were too lost in your own thoughts. you had lost him. at least this alyara could make him happier than you ever could. you had nothing to worry about. you suddenly felt your chest almost floating, like you were relieved. you felt… calm ?

“hey, ( y/n ), ao’nung.” you both raised your heads, recognising tonowari’s voice, ears standing up. “why don’t you go take a walk ?” he said, in a soothing voice, a smile plastering his face. ugh.

you eyed ao’nung, you didn’t mind if he didn’t mind. maybe walking a bit could give you some time alone. his gaze lifted, locking in with yours. your heart skipped a bit.

“that’s fine.” you said, getting up waiting for him. if he didn’t want to, this would’ve officially been the most embarrassing moment of your life. he got up too, looking at his dad, well more like killing him with his eyes. you let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding and got out, the sound of the waves immediately kissing your ears. you closed your eyes and breathed in.

you could never get tired of it.

you saw ao’nung getting out of the pod too, you looked back at him and smiled. you actually forgot how pretty this man could be. he was much taller than you, and also much more bulked than neteyam. he had more of a lean long look, while ao’nung was a bit more toned. the shoulders to waist ratio made you literally go crazy. there was nothing that could be more attractive. his v-line soft, but his cloth a bit more down than usual.

his thighs. they were pretty big, something that neteyam didn’t have. you couldn’t stop thinking about how much different it would’ve felt to ride his thigh instead of your mate’s, feeling arousal pool between your legs. ao’nung noticed. and tried to not care as much he wanted to.

your eyes wandering all over his body. if only he knew that in the exact moment that neteyam said he noticed you watching his thighs, you actually liked ao’nung’s thighs a lot more.

“would you like to go for a swim instead ?” ao’nung asked, smiling at you. he hesitated a lot before asking you, but he thought you’re already in deep deep shit, why not swim in it ? swimming together didn’t have to necessarily mean you two were going to fall back in love, well maybe you didn’t even love him in the first place. but who cares ? everything has been done already.

you met his gaze, his smile warming your stomach. you smiled back at him. “yeah, sure.”

he grabbed your hand, goosebumps rising all over your body. you felt the same dizziness as the first time you ever smoked, head thumping loudly. you two swished around all the pods, ao’nung laughing, the only thing connecting you was your locked hands.

even when you had already grown up and lived a million moments, that one with ao’nung for some reason, had a special place in your heart. the simpleness, the genuinity, the tension.

all of those factors, made the moment even more special than it probably was.

you two suddenly stopped, reaching your favorite spot to swim. you could feel the breeze caressing your skin, the sun kissing your cheeks.

you two looked at each other, and ao’nung started counting with his hands to three. a second after, the cold water was hugging your body. there’s nothing that you loved more than a breakfast swim, when the water’s extremely cold and you can feel it everywhere.

neteyam didn’t even try to know it, but ao’nung didn’t have to. he noticed.

he noticed your love for books, tobacco, poems, the moon, the stars, shells especially those shimmery silver ones, green, the ocean, and strawberries. he saw everything.

neteyam loved you, but one day you would unfortunately have to die. ao’nung loved your soul, something that could’ve never died, that would live different lifes and discover new things. if you died, he would be jealous of the earth that could hug your body, and of the new person your soul would be inside.

you especially loved this spot because of how well you could see the life of it. all the beatiful creatures lurking in their own special place, the way the soft sand could hug your feet when you could go that deep down, the way the water was so clear.

and this was his favorite spot, because he could always see your smile here.

he submerged, catching his breath, a few braids framing his face. a few drops ran across his face to his chin, where they dropped and went back to the sea. you still had a bit of difficulty swimming well, and holding your breath. when ao’nung noticed you struggling he dipped back in, swimming right in front of you. you felt him latch his arms circling his waist and ass, bringing you up.

you hurriedly breathed, catching your breath, you arms circling his shoulder and head, your stomach against his chest. he breathed out, looking at you. he was mesmerising, to say the least.

you couldn’t ignore the way his strong arms where holding you with no difficulty, he made you feel so tiny and delicate, almost like you could break at any given time. you couldn’t even ignore the way his arms were against your ass, holding it tightly. if neteyam saw the two of you right now, the world would have probably already ended.

you had your hands on his shoulders, supporting yourself. still breathing heavily, but not because of the water. because of him. the way his eyes tingled when looking at you, your stomach flipping at the thought of you clearing that sparkle in his eyes. you hand cupped his cheek, making his stomach flip this time. he could feel his heart beating so so fast.

he slowly slid you down, your legs hugging his abdomen, your core now against his stomach. the most subtle movement of his would immediately make you moan, without any shame. your puffy bud pressed against his muscly core, could make you see stars. a twinkle in your eyes.

your hands travelled from the top of his shoulders, to his side, a bit more upward his waist. you travelled your hands along the lines that his ribcage left on his skin. him being overly sensitive because of every move you make. your finger slowly traced the lines of his abs, he whined, his core flexing, it being his most sensitive spot. your mouth slightly parting at the realisation. his cheeks flushed, as pink as they could get.

he thanked god your pussy wasn’t against his waist, or you could’ve felt the tent his dick was making in his cloth. it twitching desperately at every touch of yours. he could feel his precum leaking, marking his cloth. he rolled his eyes, sighing.

your hand trailed from his core to his v-line. he held his breath. your finger slowly tracing the lines that formed it. your finger slowly entered his cloth, his eyes now quite wide, mouth parted. you slightly pulled the string, then leaving it making it snap against his waist. he closed his eyes for a second, you could feel him holding you even more aggressively now.

you raised your head smiling at him, he looked at you tears lightly bubbling his eyes from the teasing. “girl i’m so in love with you.” if he could only have the courage to actually say it to you.

“please, give in.” he whispered , looking through at you through his lashes. his dick was begging to get the minimum amount to stimulation, it being left completely untouched because his hands where too busy holding you. he felt it twitch uncontrollably, he was too deep in now to stop.

you blinked a few times, not realising what he just said. you used to have to beg neteyam to get that type of words to come out of his mouth. he always felt the need to make you feel like you need him, but it was sometimes nice to feel needed.

and if he wasn’t the one to need you, then why give any ounce of your time to him ?

nobody needed more attention from you than ao’nung at the moment.

“why are you with him ? why not me ? what does he have that i don’t ?” he slowly said, a tear crossing his eyes. your heart squeezed, your palm wiping the tear away. he cuddled his head in your hand. “please.” he said.

“please give me a chance to give you what you deserve.” he pleaded and begged.

every second that passed, was torture for him. but he didn’t want to act like him.

he didn’t want to make you notice his erection, make you uncomfortable or even try to allude to anything. he was better. he wanted to treat you the way you deserved to be treated.

“aren’t you tired ?” he pinched his eyebrows, an offended look on his face. your face was sided to the left, not having the courage to look at him. he noticed, and grabbed your jaw.

at the feeling of his fingers on your jaw, you closed your eyes. but it wasn’t rough. it was the opposite. so gentle, you couldn’t believe it. he dragged your face back to him, his calloused big fingers lightly pressing on your cheeks. he saw the way you got scared at his gesture, and mentally promised himself to not let neteyam lay a hand on you ever again.

“aren’t you tired of being treated like a whore ?” he asked, your cheeks flushing at his vulgarity. your panties were soaking wet, he strangely didn’t feel anything. heat pooling between your legs, but you couldn’t squeeze your thighs together since they were wrapped around him.

“don’t you think you deserve better ? why don’t you let anyone treat you like you should ? i don’t get it.” he said. you had no idea of where this was going , but you were definitely not going to get back now.

“don’t you want to see how you could feel about being treated the way you should ?

why don’t you let me give you a chance at being happy ?”

“show me.”

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

final notes : so... yeah ! this is kind of it for today ! hope y'all enjoyed, and PAH-LEASE let me know what y'all think in the comments and what y'all want to see in the next chapter's smut ;)

tags : @xoxobabe @marcswife21 @rubyworld96 @klarolinefanatic @giftfromthemoon @k4tsukiis @rainehatepage @neteyamsbbgfr @miapanticc @iixyia-deactivated20230123 @astasblacksword @ghoulfac3 @buttercake2234 @mashiromochi @avatarslut0 @chanyeolsbeloved @regulus-black-223048 @isabelcor3 @grierpilots @neteyamsmate4life @beyoenisbalfart @severenswife @lady-in-gold @luvagirlsworld @bealone-prm @hafutoru@jyoungmom @soxfix @thatgoodvibescloud @aalyara @abbersreads @neteyamsw @strawberryys-stuff @ilovestargirl @meivap @neteyamsullyswifee @erenjaegerwifee @slutforavatar @athenachu @ghostjoohoney @tsamiaxo @arminsgfloll @hirokosoul @strawberryclouds22@girlkissersco@spoonlord7 @fromthedeskofjoii @loverwonie @chrys018 @rea-zxv @taleiak @shartnart1 @lilprettypetite @dakotali @moeb11us @momfucker-nyct @irisskies @reialuvb @ilikeblue-aliens

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thought--bubble · 1 year ago

Text

If I had the love I needed, Pt 1

Will (Salad Days) X (Friend Reader)

Warnings Below

Word Count: 2,431

If I Had The Love I Needed Master List

Will (Salad Days) Master List

Full Master list

Banners by @arcielee

A/N: This will be just 2 parts. Was originally going to be a one-shot, but it just kept getting longer and longer 🤣🤣 (Canon divergence, I fully believe Will smashed Leah, but I didn't want that for my story)

Warnings:: abuse, neglect, alcoholism. (Saved the good stuff for part 2)

"Get out!!!" Your aunt is once again, very drunk and screeching at you while hurtling dishes toward your head.

"Ok! Ok!" You grab your tiny backpack and book it out of the flat. This was a common occurrence for you in your life. Your parents have been gone since before an age where you would have memories and you were left in the care of your aunt who was a full-blown alcoholic.

When she went on a bender, it wasn't abnormal for her to throw one of these fits and throw you out of the flat for a few days. Typical shame response. It did, however, leave you in a precarious position since you did not have enough money to rent your own flat, and you helped your aunt pay the bills so you weren't able to save all that much either.

So you headed off to the fish and chips shop that your best friend works at. She's always the one who bails you out. Letting you stay at her house until your aunt comes off her bender and calls you home to care for her.

When you arrive, Leah is alone in the shop with Will. Leah told you about the awkward encounter she had with him recently when she was fighting with her boyfriend Matt. She almost did something she would live to regret, and Will couldn't seem to let it go. Will was a lonely guy. Anyone who interacted with him could see that. You didn't know him well, just that Leah has known him since childhood.

Leah looks relieved as you enter the shop while Will looks a bit irritated.

"Sorry" you awkwardly mumble. "Leah, can I talk to you?"

"Oh god, please tell me she didn't kick you out again?" Leah says a look of exasperation on her face.

"It wouldn't be my life if she didn't," you smile weakly at her.

"I'll ask my mum if you can stay, but it's been a little crazy at my house, and my mum is not happy with me at the moment" Leah says while scratching the back of her neck.

"If you can't, it's not a big deal. I'll figure something out. " You try to sound confident, but you don't have many friends, so if Leah can't help you, you actually have no clue what you are going to do.

Leah looks at you skeptically. " You can't be out and about all night on the streets of derby wearing that," Leah gestures toward you.

"I don't look bad!" You look down at yourself. You are wearing a plain black jumper with a black pleated mini skirt knee socks and Mary Jane shoes. Your hair in two braids that hang loosely down either side of your head.

"No, you don't. But you'll look like a tart walking around all night, like that, " Leah says, concerned.

"Why would you be walking round all night?" Will interrupts.

"Because her drunk aunt kicks her out every time she has a few too many," Leah says, frustrated.

"It's not a big deal, Leah. I'll be fine, " you say, not wanting anyone to take pity on you.

As if sent by the gods to take the focus off of you, Matt and Tom burst through the door. loud and boisterous.

"We're closed!" Leah says laughing and annoyed.

"Not for us!" Matt says happily leaning over the counter and giving Leah a kiss.

You can see Will's face drop at this as he looks away.

"And where have you been? No one's seen ya for 2 weeks!" Matt says to Will, who just shrugs in response.

Matt goes around the counter and starts rummaging through the cooler, which is clearly annoying Leah as you just stand there. You know it's only a matter of time before Leah kicks them out, and you can finally talk to her privately.

"You could stay at mine. You know, if you really needed to." Will says softly.

Tom stifles a giggle while Will punches his shoulder. "Let's leave the ladies alone," will says getting up, guiding Tom to the door.

Matt laughing gives Leah one final kiss and then walks out behind them.

After they have gone, it feels like a hurricane just left the shop.

Leah looks up at you and sighs. "Now let's try to figure out what to do with you, yeah? My mum text back said, "Not tonight." But I got a couple of girls I can call for ya"

You grit your teeth but smile in thanks. You don't look forward to the idea of sleeping at a complete strangers place, but your options are very limited and dwindling by the second.

You sit on the stool Will was previously sitting at and swing your feet. While Leah cleans up the shop and sends out a few texts trying to find you a place to stay for the night.

"Do you need help?" You offer hoping to break the uncomfortable silence that has fallen between you

"Nah, almost done," she smiles at you, and your stomach turns. PITY. you can see it in her face, and you hate it.

After nearly two hours, she's finally done cleaning, and restocking so the two of you head out, and she locks up.

"I don't know what to do. No one has said yes yet," she bites her nails as she continues looking through her phone.

"Will offered" you laugh looking up at the sky.

"What? Oh.... that might not be a good idea, " Leah says

"I didn't say I was gonna go. Just thought I'd tell ya. Given your..... recent situation"

"That was nothing. A mistake. Should have never gone as far as it did, " Leah says, clearly uncomfortable with this topic.

"Ok. Well, I will figure something out. Go home. I'll be fine. " You hug Leah and give her a reassuring smile.

She looks at you unsure but knows that she has done all she can. "Please just text me when you have landed somewhere? I'll be up all night with worry"

"Promise." You give her a cheeky grin and head off down the sidewalk. Once you turn away from her, that confident facade you had been wearing for her benefit falls. You had no clue what you were going to do.

'I'll just walk around. Not much can happen if I just keep moving.' You think to yourself. You see Will, Tom and Matt heading back towards your direction.

"I'm late, obviously," Matt says annoyed.

"Late?" You ask him eyebrows raised.

"I like to walk Leah home. We weren't supposed to be gone this long. " he shoots an irritated glare towards Will.

"She just started walking, not even 5 minutes ago. You could still catch up, " you say while gesturing toward the direction Leah went

"Right," Matt takes off down the street.

Tom continues walking in that same direction while Will stops in front of you.

"Did you end up finding a place to land?" His voice is so gentle it causes a small smile to creep onto your face.

"Oh yeah, totally headin' there now" you try to keep your face from telling on you but fail miserably

"Will? You comin?" Tom yells from ahead

"Yeah, we are." Will grabs your hand and pulls you along with him. "Told ya you can crash at mine. Leah was right. You can't just wander around alone all night"

You go to protest, but he gives you a "Don't bother" look.

You surrender and follow him. You don't pull your hand away. For some reason, the gentle touch, even something as innocuous as someone holding your hand, feels comforting. Gentleness isn't something you have experienced. Much of so, him holding your hand feels like you are finally getting something you have long since needed.

Tom looks at your intertwined hands and then at Will. "Uh-"

"Shut it, Tom, keep walkin" Will says with a cold stoic look but gives your hand a little squeeze.

You blindly follow Will at this point, mesmerized with his touch, how it's gentle yet commanding.

Tom breaks off in a different direction to go to his flat while you and Will continue straight ahead.

"Are you sure your nan won't be upset you are bringing a random girl home with you?"

"My Nan is bedridden right now. She won't even know you're there. Besides, you're not a random girl. You're a friend of Leah."

The two of you reach the flat.

"Just keep quiet and follow me yeah?"

You nod as he opens the door to the flat as quietly as possible. The door leads directly to a flight of stairs. He motions for you to take your shoes off.

Once you take the shoes off, you hold them in your left hand while Will grabs your right hand and leads you up the stairs.

Your heart is pounding as you go up the stairs, and for a brief second, you regret coming here. What are you doing? You don't know Will enough to be doing this. As if he can sense your hesitation, he turns back towards you and smiles, and just like that, you are pleased with your decision.

Yep. This was a good decision because..... that smile. Yup.

When the two of you reach the top of the landing, he turns back to you and puts his finger over his lips. You nod toward him as he pulls you further into the flat tiptoeing past the first door. He stops at the second door, opens it, and motions for you to go inside.

You enter what seems to be his bedroom.

"Make yourself comfy. I'll be right back" he says this while giving you a cheeky smile as he quietly closes the door.

For the first few minutes, you awkwardly stand in the middle of the room, holding your shoes to your chest as you look around the room.

There is a bed and boxspring on one side of the room. A very small bed you note. That should fill you with nerves, but instead, your face gets hot.

There is a dresser with some assorted items on top. the drawers haphazardly closed. A pile of clothes on the floor.

About 15 minutes later, he comes into the room with two small mugs of tea, placing them on the dresser and then quietly closing the door.

"Brought you a cuppa" he whispers while he looks at you with a smile " you can put your shoes down" he chuckles

"Oh yeah, thanks." You feel your face heating up again as you place your shoes on the floor.

You reach for the tea and bring the cup to your lips, taking a sip. "I umm I like your room," you say awkwardly.

"Yeah, thanks. Not much, but it's home. " he sips his own tea, his eyes peering at you over the cup.

You both finish your tea in silence.

"You can borrow a shirt to sleep in if you need. I'd give you joggers, but I know they wouldn't fit. " he chuckles, looking you up and down.

Your face doesn't just heat up at this comment. You are convinced it has actually erupted into flames. "N-n-no, that's ok. I can sleep in my jumper"

"We'll have to share the bed.... can't have my Nan come out to use the loo and see me on the sofa."

You look over at the very tiny bed and bite your bottom lip.

"Don't worry love we'll make it work"

He makes his way over to his dresser, pulling out a pair of joggers and a long t-shirt.

"I'll go get dressed then," he leaves the room again, closing the door as quietly as possible behind him.

You let out a breath and take your skirt and socks off. The jumper you are wearing is big enough to cover your bum but just barely. Your thighs on full display.

"Lord, this is awkward," you mumble to yourself as you fold your skirt and socks, placing them on top of your little backpack. You remain standing in the middle of the room, pulling your jumper down, trying to will it with the power of your mind to somehow grow longer.

Will returns, and you spin around to look at him. He looks good in his loose-fitting t shirt and joggers a lone silver chain around his neck.

He goes over to the bed and lays down on his side toward you. Your feet are rooted to the floor, your heart pounding so loudly in your chest that you are certain he and possibly his Nan in the other room can hear it.

"C'mere," he looks at you with a twinkle in his eyes, but you stay frozen, unable to move. "I'm not gonna bite ya, I promise"

You move slowly toward the bed and sit down on the edge. You lay down on your side with your back to Will.

You can feel him shift behind you making room for you.

"Do you mind if I put my arm on ya? Space is kinda limited. " he chuckles

"Oh yeah, ok.... that's fine. " You hold your breath as you feel his arm come down around you and pull you back so your back is flush against his chest. His arm on your waist and his hand flat against your upper stomach.

You can feel him sigh into your hair as he shifts a little more behind you, making himself comfortable. You can feel your heart beating so hard you wouldn't be surprised if it just leapt from your chest and ran out of the room.

Will nuzzles his face into your hair and takes a deep breath in pressing himself tighter to your back. You close your eyes and try to sleep. You can hear and feel his breathing behind you, falling into a steady rhythm.

You try desperately to calm your heart rate down but can't. You feel his arm and hand on you and his body pressed up against yours, and you feel like there is electricity pulsing throughout your body. A strong and deep want developing between your legs that you are desperately trying to ignore.

"Do I make you that uncomfortable?" He whispers into your ear.

You noticably shiver when he does this and release a shakey sigh. "Oh umm no" you whisper.

He pulls you tighter against his body pressing his now very hard cock up against your lower back.

"Then why can't you sleep?"

A/N: teehee. Second part will be out soon. 💚

Part 2

To be added to taglist click here

#ewan mitchell verse #will salad days #salad days #will salad days fanfic #ewan mitchell fanfic #ewan nation #ewan mitchell #will salad days fic #ewanverse #jess fics #my emo angsty bf

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soleilnomoon · 1 year ago

Note

Prompt: “I don’t like them; I can barely tolerate them.” for Abarai Renji. Once again, I leave it up to you what you wanna do (but maybe enemies to lovers) Yes, I might be on a little Bleach binge right now but it's okay you like it. kiss kiss

*hides face* ok, ok, ok, hear me out, let's pretend i didn't take *insert accurate length of time here* and say i wrote this in a few days. i am so sorry i took forever and ever with this but as u know i can only give u top quality work or else i'll never forgive myself. renji is.......well *motions to him* yk how that man is, he made me suffer!!!! in a good way!!! but still i suffered!!! yk how much i love enemies 2 lovers u big brained beauty 🤭 so ty baby❤️️ also this is my first renji fic and i can't belev it.

5.2k words (don't look at me, just don't), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni, enemies 2 lovers, angst city, angst angst city biiiitch (yk the vibez babey), smut obviously, no fluff bc who do u think i am? feat. renji being a mean petty bitch (i guess that makes him a mean dom maybe yes), sub reader bc that's what i want; there's a party with alcohol, ichigo and co. make brief appearances, bathroom sex, choking (he's sf romantic), a lot of cursing bc they're grown that's why, renji is a beast when he's jealous, reader is a lil bit of a brat but lbr who wouldn't be in that situation; mutual ""unrequited"" pining, lots of tension, fingering, rough (consensual) sex, lil bit of degradation, lil bit of a size kink, lil bit of praise kink, idk there's probably more stuff but i'm so tired rn i can't think; um renji obviously comes w his own gd warning; reader is determined to not let this man win but, hello, it's renji he always comes out on top wink wink. (if u see spelling errors/mistakes no u didn't hottie)

“when i write about all of this it becomes its own kind of violence. / i retell the story as myth, as if it were my own body devoured.” — caitlin scarano & “so much of love is violence. the desire / to be split open, invaded, mangled / and made new.” — erin slaughter

HATRED X TASTES X SWEET

you’ve never been cut out for this line of work, but your insistence on eliminating all your shortcomings is commendable. brave, even. it’s something you don’t really think about unless you want to spend the night half-drunk, rambling about the things you should’ve done but never had the courage to do.

like telling a certain red-haired, bullheaded lieutenant that he’s the most ridiculous and excessively arrogant man you’ve ever come across. all in all, you’re pretty sure telling him off won’t phase him; nothing ever does, not really anyway.

at first you try politeness; your grandmother would be proud of how well you’ve learned to bite your tongue. it’s ungraceful, but you fake it well enough that others think your emotional maturity is far above theirs. little do they know, you actually have to literally bite your tongue; simply remaining silent isn’t easy for you anymore. so, when you bite, it’s with rage, months of unshed tears and accumulated spite; you bite your tongue so hard you bleed more every time.

your unsaid words bunch together — tiny soldiers determined to strike in unison without fail — and sit heavily in the back of your throat, ready to launch forward at your command.

but you never say them, and you choke more than once; an unbearable shame to carry with you as he continues to slash at your patience, thin ribbons cascading off you like confetti. you wonder if your anger will lead to your death— or if it’ll lead to his. you intend to keep all of that hidden, though, and keep reminding yourself that eventually he will tire from berating you, from talking to you as if you’re the most incompetent being in all of soul society, from looking at you like your very being disgusts him.

that’s what you tell yourself these days. you like to conveniently ignore the way his dark eyes linger on yours during meetings — you’ve noticed that people have taken to describing them as soulless, cold and critical, unimpressed at everything and anyone.

but you see him — all of him; the raw, feral, powerful and severe side that not many have the misfortune of knowing. they think they get the real version of renji whenever they deal with him, but they never do; you know that now. you doubt it’s even intentional on his part, or maybe — just maybe — he really does hate you.

to put it plainly, as you’ve told rukia and rangiku, the sixth division lieutenant has the biggest fucking chip on his shoulder. despite the walls he continues to put up to keep others from carving out a place for themselves in his life, despite the way his words roll around his mouth, clumsily coasting down the length of his tongue before they pierce the air around you with their toxicity — you’re tired of the way he purposely singles you out time and time again to point out your inadequacies without remorse.

abarai renji is also sick of dealing with you. whenever he thinks he’s found a means of scaring you off, you scurry right back more determined and more obnoxious than ever. which is rich, coming from him.

he claims you’re inconsequential, a nuisance — a pest, even — one that he intends to get rid of permanently. it’s harsh and he’s more than aware of that, but he finds that this is the most appropriate solution to his problem. he could easily ignore you; he could try to keep his comments to himself and try to be somewhat cordial whenever you cross paths. but he won’t. and he has no damn idea why.

“no, no come in, i have plenty of snacks for everyone.”

rukia’s voice is a constant in his life that he’ll always be thankful for. he watches her glide into the room, grinning at the friends she’s invited over, her laughter like soft bells that is easily recognizable even with all the conversation happening. when he feels his chest constrict, an uncomfortable, yet familiar warmth stretching over his skin, he decides to drink so that he can ignore the sensation and forget.

a feeble attempt, because he knows how this will all end — with him drunk off his ass in an even worse mood than he started.

mouth opening, renji prepares to tell rukia to get better sake, when rangiku leads you into the living room where he’s lounging comfortably. the bottle in his hand grows heavier by the second and suddenly he’s not very interested in drinking anymore. already, his foul mood from earlier returns, and every step you take only fuels his irritation; it bubbles underneath his skin, making him frown and grip the bottle tighter.

you don’t need to look at him to know that he’s glaring at you — he always is. rangiku feigns obliviousness as she encourages you to go make yourself comfortable while she fetches snacks with rukia. you stare at both of them, wide-eyed, confused — a pleading look sliding onto your face after a few moments, but they assure you both that they’ll be back shortly.

with a sigh you sit on the armchair adjacent to him, determined to just remain quiet in the hopes that he’ll just ignore you for once. sitting up straight, discomfort finds its way to the pit of your stomach, swirling around as you fidget with the bracelet around your wrist. his eyes watch your movements with an obsessiveness that startles him; there’s no reason why he should be interested in the shape of your fingers, there’s no reason why he should be interested in the way you keep brushing stray curls away from your face, and there’s no reason why he should be interested in possibly fucking you when he knows for a fact that he is absolutely uninterested in you.

his disinterest runs so deep it spoils the taste of the sake, but he takes another swig anyway. the alcohol burns as it travels swiftly down his throat, and it just so happens that you glance over at him — innocuous, an attempt to gauge his annoyance level — as his throat bobs and your mouth dries at the sight.

you turn your face away quickly, a traitorous flush crawling slowly along your skin, unjustly warming your cheeks. inhaling deeply, you do your best to will the blush away to no avail. where the hell are rukia and rangiku? surely it can’t take that long to grab snacks. you’re tempted to go find them, but you have a sinking feeling that it would turn you into a coward.

and you refuse to give that man any more ammo against you.

IT’S X (NOT) X YOU

what initially starts as a small get-together, quickly turns into a party; leave it to rangiku to liven things up, her laughter infectious and whimsical, flitting about like a persistent hummingbird as she encourages everyone to play drinking games with her. experience taught him better than to engage because despite his high tolerance, there’s really no beating rangiku when she’s on a roll.

but when you emphatically agree to play with the rest, fury rises in his chest; your audacity, it seems, knows no bounds — and, yes, he understands the hypocrisy in his critique. he just doesn’t care.

the games are every bit as simple and ridiculous as you thought they’d be, but as everyone seems to be in relatively good spirits, you play along. not normally competitive with things like this, you get into the swing of things when you win round after round.

cheers resound nearby at your success, but throughout the evening, you feel renji’s stare and do everything in your power to not give in and look back at him. a tough feat to say the least, as you are always acutely aware of his presence; and when you do happen to sneak another glance, his legs are spread and you curse under your breath for finding that attractive.

foolish, you chide, so fucking foolish.

renji sucks his teeth as he feels a heaviness in his head; groaning loudly he swirls around what little sake he has left in his glass before finishing it.

“you lose again,” rukia’s voice is soft and teasing, but he’s annoyed and can’t be bothered with talking to her right now. she pats his shoulder gingerly before standing up to head to the kitchen. his mind is a mess and he blames you for it completely.

“i don’t fucking care,” he says gruffly to her retreating figure, not bothering to elevate his voice as he’s sure she heard him. and he really doesn’t care; he’s trying to tell himself to calm down, but he can’t.

the fault completely lies with you — of course it does, everything you do agitates every cell in his body. the reason is simple, and he hates that he doesn’t want to admit it — he’s so undeniably attracted to you that it pisses him off. he takes in your appearance for the twelfth time that night, admiring the softness of your cheeks, the fullness of your lips, the way you seem entirely too animated as you laugh at someone’s lame joke — and yes, he can tell it’s not funny from how your laughter dies down after a few seconds.

if he had better sense, he’d stop looking at you, but he can’t now; he might blame the sake for this later.

the intensity behind his gaze is enough to bring an inextinguishable heat along your skin. it’s only unpleasant because it travels down to your lower abdomen and brings about an agonizing ache between your thighs. at first, you do the sensible thing and ignore it; but the longer he stares, the more you want to look over, until finally you can’t take it anymore.

“i’ll be back,” you mumble to the other guests, although you doubt they hear you with how rowdy everyone is being; the noise isn’t unwelcomed, the distraction serves to mask your footsteps when you scurry from the living room to the back corridor, turning corner after corner until you find the bathroom.

a coward — that’s what you are.

you barricade yourself in there without thinking, heart pounding loud enough to disorient you. after several long minutes, you splash water on your face and take a few deep breaths.

“i can’t believe i ran away,” your voice is so soft you barely hear the words — almost as if you’re still in disbelief over the entire situation. there’s something off about renji tonight; the tension between you was more palatable and tangible than normal.

even though you feigned nonchalance as best as you could, there were so many moments where you couldn’t help but watch him too. pitiful. absolutely pitiful. there’s no excuse for it, and yet you struggle to find one anyway.

as you look at your reflection in the mirror above the sink, you try to convince yourself to head back out there. sooner or later, people will realize that you’ve gone missing — and rangiku is nosy enough and like a bloodhound when she’s drunk. your time is incredibly limited now.

there’s no reason for you to continue to avoid the inevitable, so you sigh and give yourself a small pep talk before heading back outside.

TRUTH X OR X …

renji’s mood doesn’t improve at all; in fact, it worsens the moment ichigo sits right next to him. he’s not even sure why this sets him off, but even closing his eyes and counting backwards does nothing to keep him calm.

with slight difficulty, renji grits out, “what do you want?”

undeterred, ichigo stares at renji pointedly, voice steady as he says, “you could go after her, you know.”

again, renji sucks his teeth loudly, arms folded against his chest, right leg bouncing slightly as he taps his foot on the floor. punching ichigo would be pointless, and then rukia would get involved and he doesn’t have time to deal with the fallout from that so he keeps his hands to himself.

besides, his anger is obviously misdirected right now. he knows — he knows —but he doesn’t care, so he doesn’t mince his words when he responds with, “go after who?” through his peripheral, he can see ichigo’s patience has also reached its limit.

“you’re not that stupid, so stop acting like it.”

normally, renji would take the opportunity to mes s around and argue back and forth, but he might actually fight his friend if he doesn’t walk away. so, he does; abrupt and without looking back, footsteps heavy on the hardwood floor.

maybe he just needs to change his approach with you, maybe talking things out would work in his favor; or maybe he needs to fuck you hard enough to purge you from his mind.

he lies to himself when he considers the first option, because it’s the second option that drives him to walk a little faster, head full of impossible thoughts as he wonders just how far you’d let him go.

when renji finally finds you, you’re in the middle of rebuffing the advances of an unfamiliar guest — they’re drunk, handsy, and keep oscillating between giving you cheesy pick-up lines and berating you for rejecting them. but you stand firm, and your voice is relatively loud when you tell them, “for the last fucking time, go away.”

under normal circumstances, renji would let you handle this yourself; he has no desire to play prince charming or be a knight in shining armor. you’re more than capable, and he’s seen the way you fight and argue to defend yourself — but, it’s when they place a wandering hand on your hip that he loses sight of all of that.

a brief moment passes, where your blood boils as you contemplate how best to kick their ass, but you never get the chance. a rather large shadow hovers over you both, but you already know who it is without having to look properly.

renji is a force to be reckoned with on a good day, but he’s at his fucking limit right now.

he doesn’t ask, doesn’t give any options for retreat, doesn’t say a word when he yanks them off with a brute strength that surprises even you.

now, can he really be blamed for throwing them into the neighboring wall hard enough to make a noticeable hole? and is it really his fault that the drunk can hardly walk as they clutch their broken arm while murmuring something unintelligible, something that renji takes as a sign of them wanting a repeat demonstration?

consequences be damned, he gives the drunk a lethal look before they scramble away in fear.

“loser,” he says loud enough for them to hear, but they don’t double back or even try to go toe-to-toe with the hot-headed lieutenant. you watch, half-amused and half-impressed with the unnecessary machismo, but still, you know better than to chastise him right now, especially when your heart sputters out of control from his proximity.

“…thanks,” you say, a faint flush on your cheeks, voice soft, head fuzzy when you realize that renji — aka mr. “i’ll fight you on everything any day of the week unprovoked for no reason other than to drive you crazy” — saved you. unprompted at that.

you make the mistake of looking up at him, your nerves prompting you to take a small step back when you realize that the usual hostility that renji reserves for you specifically is nowhere to be found. in its place is something more unreadable — or, rather, you don’t want to read into it for fear of being wrong.

renji steps closer, which makes you back up again until your back hits the wall and you’re no longer able to escape.

“we need to talk,” he says suddenly, but you shake your head, non-verbally objecting to the idea, curls bouncing wildly with your exaggerated movements. since he knows he’s pressed for time, he grabs your face with his large hand and stops you from moving. “that wasn’t a request.”

swallowing rusty nails would be better than dealing with your conflicting feelings over renji right now, because he’s much too close to you and now you’re forgetting why it is you hate him in the first place. ironically, he’s in the exact same position. so far, he’s acted on impulse over you more times than he can count tonight, but he supposes that’s to be expected — you are a wildcard, after all.

“what if i don’t want to.” your response is clumsy, the words tumbling one after the other. “what if i want you to leave?” you don’t actually mean that, but you throw it at him anyway, to see if maybe this was all a fluke, and maybe, just maybe he’ll remember himself and you both can go back to fighting like usual.

he considers your question, goes so far as to release your face to wrap his hand around your throat instead. your sharp inhale and parted lips tell him all he needs to know.

with a slightly raised brow, he asks, “well, do you?”

because if you do, he’ll walk away right now. but he knows what your answer will be, he just has to drag it out of you. he squeezes your neck to remind you to hurry it up, and before you can answer him properly, he places his leg in between yours, pressing close enough that you roll your hips forward while whimpering softly.

he really didn’t think any of this through, but luckily the adrenaline from it all won’t wear off anytime soon, so he’ll improvise along the way. he spent most of the night dealing with a semi-hard cock that wouldn’t listen to reason no matter how many times he tried to stop thinking about you. but now? all of that restraint goes out of the window, and before he can question it, he kisses you.

you’ve kissed plenty of people in your life — some good, most were mediocre and uninspiring — but renji actually takes your breath away. everything about him commands all your attention; from the way his lips move against yours greedily, leaving behind burning kisses that make your nipples harden underneath your clothes — to the way he thrusts his tongue in between your plush lips, licking inside of your mouth hotly, igniting an inextinguishable flame deep inside of you.

he grabs your hip with his free hand, squeezing hard, fingers digging firmly. all the irritation from earlier dissipates completely, leaving you feeling lightheaded and needy; you grind against him recklessly, arousal dampening the front of your panties, clit sensitive as it rubs against the delicate fabric. his cock presses against you — thick, long, and hard — and you wonder if this is why he’s so angry with you all the time.

was it always that simple?

if you asked the question aloud, he wouldn’t know what to tell you — it’s a combination of things, but mostly he’s an idiot; he knows that now, but likewise you’re an idiot too. you just don’t realize it yet.

it’s renji who pulls away first, lightly panting, breath warm against your lips as he releases his hold on your neck. he doesn’t know where he finds the strength to string together a coherent statement, but his voice is low and husky when he speaks. “answer my question.”

you blink at him, completely in a daze, lips slightly swollen from all the kissing. “wh-what?” you don’t remember what he asked you, and you don’t care.

“do you want me to leave?”

for some reason, you completely forgot that you told him that. you rub your lips together and run your hands along his chest. “no.” the answer comes out automatically, without hesitation, and that’s all the encouragement he needs.

“good.”

SAY X IT X LOUDER

he picks you up with ease, almost as if you weigh nothing; a small squeal spills out of you as you wrap your legs around his waist, and renji gives you a sly smile — one laced with mischief and an unspoken promise of what’s to come.

you’re back in the bathroom again, this time sitting on the counter with renji standing in between your legs. his hands coast along your curvy hips and down your thighs. he’s touching you but he’s not touching you and it’s driving you crazy.

with hurried, eager hands you both undress, and for the umpteenth time you internally curse this style of uniform; still, it doesn’t take too long before his hands are on you again, calloused palms rough and warm against your skin. he places a kiss on your jaw, then another on your neck right underneath your earlobe; each kiss he leaves behind distorts your common sense, makes you feel irrational and impatient. your hands are soft and well-practiced, stroking his stiff cock as his hips jerk forward from your touch.

he can’t remember the last time someone had him this worked up, which pisses him off a little; because that means him fucking you once won’t settle things. at that thought, renji bites your neck and your startled yelp quickly morphs into a moan when he runs his tongue along the mark. he dips his hand in between your thighs, rubbing his thick fingers against your slit. a loud banging on the door has you looking over, and you can’t remember if he bothered to lock it once you both were inside.

your attention nearly falters, but when he pinches your clit you buck your hips, a shiver shooting down your spine at the slight pain.

“eyes on me,” is all he says, seemingly annoyed that you would dare to focus your attention elsewhere, “always keep them on me.” what he means by that, he doesn’t know, but you take the command at face value and nod while swallowing. he slides a finger inside of your wet pussy, and while you initially wanted to keep quiet to avoid suspicion and to prevent anyone from intruding, but you can’t now.

“renji,” you breathe, fingers trembling as you hold onto the counter for support, he thrusts his finger in and out, quick and hard, before inserting another. you clench around him, hips rocking forward as he fingerfucks you and grinds his palm against your clit. you close your eyes and moan louder than you mean to, chest heaving, thoughts jumbled and incoherent. he scissors his fingers inside of you, but quickly removes them without prompting.

“fuck!” you open your eyes again and stare at him in disbelief. “why did you stop?”

he laughs darkly and grabs your face roughly, fingers pressing into your soft skin without remorse. “what did i tell you earlier?” everything about this situation is laughable. he gave you very specific instructions, ones he thought were easy enough for you to follow. for some reason your movements are sluggish, mind in a haze as you scramble to remember but nothing comes to mind.

as you open and close your mouth, looking every bit as adorable as you are alluring, he decides to show you a bit of kindness.

“get down.” his command comes swift, his patience practically nonexistent; precum glides down the head of his thick cock, but he ignores it for the sake of teaching you a lesson. you don’t bother waiting for him to repeat himself and slide off the counter. “turn around.”

like a doll, your movements are dictated by renji with simple, short statements. nothing about that phases you, though; it’s all very exciting, so when you do turn to face the counter, you bend forward and lean over the counter. renji admires the roundness of your ass and slaps it hard.

again, you find yourself moaning loudly, without shame and not caring about the volume of your voice. surely the others won’t pay attention, as they’re still very drunk and are entertaining themselves with more games. another slap on your ass has you grabbing onto the counter again, legs shaking, arousal dripping between your thighs in anticipation. if renji doesn’t fuck you soon, you might actually die.

he knows he’s taking too damn long, but it’s much more interesting making you work for him. he rubs the tip of his cock against your puffy pussy, gliding it in between your slick folds, your moans sweetly wrapping around him once he pushes inside of you slowly. someone bangs on the door again, making you look over, anxiety quickly filling your head with unnecessary what ifs that almost command your full attention.

with narrowed eyes, renji grabs onto your hair, curls soft in his hand, and yanks hard.

“the fuck did i say earlier?”

goosebumps travel down your arms as a different kind of awareness and clarity surges through you quickly. you blink at your reflection, watching the way he towers over you, his muscles hard and defined — sculpted from years of training and dedication to honing his skills. it hits you then, what he’s really asking you.

“to,” you swallow thickly, throat dry, “to keep my eyes on you always.” you say it all in one breath, gasping when he runs his tongue along the curve of your ear. you don’t know how much more you can take, but you know if you complain, if you say anything he might stop altogether.

renji’s smile is wicked and dark, his lips graze your earlobe, voice deep and gravelly, a huskiness that wasn’t there before as he thrusts into you, burying his cock deeply.

“good girl.”

he refrains from kissing you properly, instead pushing you down so you can lean over the counter again. your mind melts from it all, and you’re panting, heart beating faster and faster as he firmly places a hand on your back.

“you’re squeezing me so tight,” he remarks thoughtfully, although you note the slight strain in his voice; as much as he tries to act like he’s not that affected by you, you know that isn’t the case at all. your pussy is every bit as enticing and heavenly as he knew it would be; he pulls back and slams his cock into you all over again, filling you completely. you try to keep watching him in the mirror, but he’s fucking you like he’s angry with himself for being so attracted to you.

and he absolutely is. it’s a truth he fought against for so long that he’s given up on denying it now. your moans drip onto his skin like caramel, sticky and sweet, and when you say his name like that — your voice going higher and higher from the ferocity of his thrusts — he nearly loses his mind.

“fuck,” he says out loud, grabbing your hip roughly, your wetness coating the length of his cock, “you’re taking me so well.” he knows you can’t really answer him, and he likes that; you’re beyond caring at this point, instead focusing on the way his cock reaches a spot that has you bouncing your ass and fucking yourself against him. normally, renji would play around and edge you in retaliation, but he’s too far gone, completely under the spell of your pretty pussy, with how soft and tight it is.

you’re not sure how you got here, but you’re drowning in ecstasy right now. he instructs you to lift your leg to rest it onto the counter, pulling out momentarily to help you position and spread your legs further apart. he plunges his cock into you again, keeping his hips closer as he gives you shorter, frenzied thrusts. your head spins and you can’t think straight, but that doesn’t matter. all you care about is the way renji is angling his hips, rolling them forward to pound into your cunt roughly, balls heavy as they smack against your ass.

“oh, oh, oh.” you swear your life flashes before your eyes, because something possesses him, his strokes shorter, brutal, and frenetic. drool slides down your chin, your voice hoarse from how loud you’ve been. you’re sure someone’s heard you by now, but you don’t care.

how can you?

with renji fucking you like this — merciless and possessive, fingers brusing your skin, almost as if he wants to make sure you’ll be as obsessed with him as he is with you — your common decency, your morals, everything that makes you you, they don’t exist.

all that’s left is this burning desire to let him have his way with you for as long as he wants. thankfully, you have enough sense to not admit that out loud; who knows what kind smugness you’ll be subjected to if renji knew.

but you’re pretty damn transparent about it, he can tell from the way you can’t stop clenching your pussy around his cock, from how your pussy makes loud, lewd squelching noises — ones that he’ll commit to memory so he can revisit them from time to time.

tears roll down your cheeks and you sob as you hold onto the counter as best as you can, back arching, hips rocking against him with a neediness you never knew you had. there’s a tightening in your stomach and your pulse skyrocketing as a flash of white practically blinds you. he watches the way your pussy keeps swallowing the length of his cock, and you finally fall over the edge, orgasm suffocating you with its intensity.

your cunt flutters around him, gummy walls soft and hypnotic, an addiction he never thought he’d have; breathing heavily, his muscles tense and renji groans something that suspiciously sounds like your name. the thought alone makes your face burn and warms your chest in a way that doesn’t make sense. and when he finally cums, he humps into you, cum thick and hot as it spills inside your pussy, mixing with your slick wetness. a completely messy affair, but he doesn’t care — it’s not his bathroom, after all.

legs trembling, you’re limp and incapable of movement, whimpering and whining until he finally pulls out of you.

renji runs a hand down his face, feeling spent but more than satisfied. suddenly his shoulders aren’t so tight and tense, and his mood is much more tolerable. you do your best to stand but almost fall — your legs are useless, turned to jelly because of the man behind you. he chuckles at that, then clears his throat once he realizes. he fully expected there to be a moment of awkwardness after, but it never comes. when he sees your face — lips bruised and swollen, face flushed, eyes glazed with a faraway look — he feels compelled to kiss you again. so, he does. it’s not sweet, nor is it tender, but it still makes your heart swell all the same. he holds you close as you wrap your arms around his neck, doing your best to keep standing, even though your legs are ready to give out.

you don’t know exactly what any of this means, but you do understand him a bit better now. he’s terrible with expressing himself, but you kind of like that about him; and maybe this isn’t the healthiest relationship, but life was uncertain and you’d take renji fucking you like it’s his last day alive over him openly hating you any day.

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brisquad-unit-4402 · 1 year ago

Text

ok so what i was saying about fulgur and prosthetics

i said in this ask that there's a lot you can do in a selfship/fulgur x reader fic regarding his cynet limbs and i'm here to elaborate

SO it might be bc i'm not looking in the right places, but the bit about fulgur being an amputee is really untapped, in a way that i think really translates nicely to how he loves

if there's anything about fulgur it's that he doesn't do grand gestures. he can appreciate a good meal but he's not one for classy reservations. god knows he doesn't care enough about what he wears to those fancy outings, much less the outing itself. why would he? he doesn't get the appeal of putting on these polished faces. acting like anyone but himself, the guy that would down a can of soup in one gulp if you were the one serving it to him. it's the meaning behind the action that gets him, not candle-and-starlit balconies. these limbs are red enough to put any rose to shame.

these limbs. cold to the touch, layers of plate. the first time he reached out of his own volition he remembers how your back straightened to steel. he's never felt insecure about the chill until then, but it wasn't long before he realized how you leaned in anyways. where he tentatively brushes along with a fingertip, you take in his palm. not a single shred of fear or hesitance then.

he turns his back to face you the first night you slept together, detaching his cynets from where the socket ends. his right arm is the last to go. each limb rests on a cloth in order.

the next night you watch, and when he notices, he shuffles his left leg before taking off his right. there's an order to the panels. the legs are a series of hooks and latches in order to be properly doffed, while the arms are simple, but sensitive. there's a certain amount of force needed to press the buttons that detach the limb. the final button is under a tab within his palm—the end of the largest mesh crease, at the furthest point his thumb can stretch. it slides off cleanly.

the third night fulgur narrates it. he's forgotten some of the names because he's had this steel for so long, it's become instinct, not process. by the fourth it takes half as much time as usual and he's wondering if there's anything you can't make easier.

"the next part is... this latch, right?"

"yup. c'mon, use some more force. i've taken it harder than that."

the switch by his wrist unlocks under your thumb, and the last mechanism left is the panel on his palm. his thumb rests loosely. the flat of his hands are made of blackened mesh to simulate the give of flesh. it detects your own as your fingers skim his and reach for the button.

the socket is neat. the steel goes deeper than the prosthetic, and as you remove it, it exposes the ports where the wiring connects. fulgur rolls his shoulder, loosening the connection, before it fully detaches. that's not a required movement. he shifts back into his place in the bed sans prosthetics.

"what, you're not even going to call me a pervert?" he asks. his eyes are closed but his shit-eating smile is plain to see.

"fuck off." you poke his cheek. annoyance. then you raise the blanket up to his chest. a few inches below his throa2, just how he likes it. "i didn't want to mess up."

"it's hard for you to mess up. those limbs have gone through hell and back."

"yeah, but i wanna make sure it's okay though. 'cause what if it's not?"

"nah, you wouldn't mess up."

you lay down and toss the blanket over yourself. even without the cynets, fulgur is cool to the touch. you can feel the ridges of surgical steel along his shoulder blades, and where it's thinnest are the small, tiny bumps where the ports were screwed in. the pale skin, nonetheless, is soft in a way his mesh-palms aren't. without his arm there's more room for you to place your head along the plush of his chest and the paneling. the chest-pillow is cold on either side.

his eyes are still shut. you feel the rise and fall of his chest along your cheek as his breath travels through. when you close your eyes as well, there isn't much of a difference between your dark bedroom and the embrace of rest.

you almost forget how to speak.

"goodnight," you mumble five minutes later.

he relearns the skill a minute later, too. "yeah," he says.

you'll have to remember that later.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ ⁭masterpost ✧. ┊ ⁭kofi

#fulgur ovid #fulgur ovid x reader #fulgur ovid fluff #noctyx x reader #noctyx #nijisanji en #nijisanji x reader #4402 writes #4402 brainrot #intended this fic to be acceptance and not romanticization. hope we can all recognize that intention #if there's anything i got wrong/incorrect feel free to lmk

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gunilslaugh · 1 year ago

Text

Scared To Love

Goo Gunil

Summary: Gunil makes it obvious that he likes you, but after being hurt one too many times you’re scared to love again.

WC:~2k

Warning:none

photo not mine credits to owner.

Gunil was someone who you couldn’t quite call a stranger. You knew his name, that he played the drums, is a music major, and that he was into you. You worked at a cafe that had live music. More often than not music majors from the college three blocks away would sign up to play. Gunil being one of these said music majors. The first time he came to play he came with two others. You don’t know their names, but one played guitar and the other played the keyboard. Your cafe offers complimentary drinks to those who perform, so you brought the drinks over to the small group of boys, setting them on a nearby table.

“Here are your drinks, let me know if you need anything else,” you spoke politely, gaining their attention away from their instruments that they were setting up.

“Thank you.”

“Thanks.”

“Thank y-” Crash!!! The dude who was setting up his drums hit his head on one of his drum’s cymbals. His friends are quick to laugh at him.

“Are you alright?” you asked concerned.

“Oh uh ye-yeah!” He stands up, dusting imaginary dust from his pants and takes a hold of the cymbal, stabling it. “I’m ok. Your beauty just surprised me,” he said without shame.

“Seriously?”

“Dude?” Either of his friends chorus out while you let out a half chuckle, feeling awkward.

“Well since you’re ok I’ll get back to work. Have a good set,” you told them and walked back behind the counter.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise when Gunil returned to the cafe the next day.

“What can I get for you?” you said your usual line.

“An iced coffee and…” he pretends to think. “Your number” he gave you a flirty look. You lightly shook your head.

“Ok one iced coffee and nice try.” You went to go get his coffee.

“Wait!” he called you back. You stopped in your tracks turning back to face him.

“Yes?” you said.

“I hit my head because of you yesterday, can’t I get your number?” he pleaded.

“I’m sorry about that, but you said you were ok. Try again tomorrow,” you tell him with no actual intention of giving him your number.

Try again tomorrow Gunil did and the day after that and the day after that. He was persistent, but not pushy. Each day he would show up and try to woo you with some cringey flirting. Only for you to reject him. He would look disappointed, but show up again with a look of determination.

“Would it really kill you to give the guy your number? He comes in here everyday, he's clearly serious about you,” your coworker tells you after you rejected Gunil yet again.

“Serious about me? He doesn’t even know me,” you refuted.

“Cause you won’t let him,” they countered.

“Cause I’m not interested in dating. He’s wasting his time.” You wiped down the counter harsher than necessary.

“Then why haven’t you told him that?” They questioned.

“Constant rejection isn’t enough of a hint,” you say.

“You don’t directly say no though. You say stuff like. ‘Try again tomorrow.’ ‘Maybe next time.’ ‘Not today.’ or sometimes you just walk away without answering him,” your coworker calls you out. “Are you seriously not interested in him, not even a tiny bit?” They held up their thumb and pointer finger with a slim distance between them.

“No,” you said blanky. Even if you were interested in Gunil you wouldn’t do anything about it. Love has screwed you over one too many times and you weren’t gonna give it a chance to do it again. You didn’t want to get hurt again and you didn’t trust anyone to not hurt you. So even if you looked forward to Gunil coming into the cafe to try his luck with you. You were too scared to try your luck with him.

“Your usual?” you asked Gunil as he approached the counter.

“No, I think I need a decaf today, but I still want your number.” He seemed a bit nervous, stressed.

“I think tea works better for nerves,” you suggested. Gunil smiles.

“I’ll have tea then.” He sounds much happier, makes you think that maybe you were wrong about him seeming nervous.

“Which type?” you asked.

“Whatever you bring me, beautiful.” He winked. You let out a half chuckle, leaving to go make his tea.

“So you do care about him.” Your coworker appeared beside you, making you jump.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say as you fill Gunil’s cup with hot tea.

“ ‘I think tea works better for nerves.’,” they mocked you.

“He seemed stressed and decaf wasn’t going to help,” you explained.

“It wouldn’t have hurt either,” they pointed.

“I was just being nice. Go back to work.” You shooed them away, placing the lid onto the now warm cup.

“Here’s your tea, honey lavender.” You placed Gunil’s drink on the counter.

“Thank you, pretty.” He picks up the cup.

“You’re welcome. Have a good day,” you said your usual line.

“It’s always a good day when I see you y/n,” Gunil said as he walked towards the exit. You playfully rolled your eyes.

Gunil was back with his friends to play another set. You brought them their complimentary drinks, setting them on the table, like you did last time.

“Here are your drinks. Gunil don’t hit your head again and let me know if you need anything else,” you say.

“I’m still waiting for your number,” Gunil states as you're about to walk away.

“Keep waiting,” you tell him and walk back behind the counter. After Gunil and his friends finished playing their set you saw two girls approach them. You watched as they began to talk to Gunil. You didn’t like the feeling that started to bubble up in your stomach. Gunil then looks over at you, both of your eyes meeting. You quickly look away, beginning to wipe the counter as if you weren’t staring. However you couldn’t fight the urge to look back over at Gunil. When you did you saw the two girls walking away. The bad feeling in your stomach didn’t go away. Suddenly Gunil appeared in front of where you stood at the counter.

“I didn’t give it to them,” he informed you.

“What?” you questioned.

“One of them asked for my number, but I didn’t give it to them,” he clarified. The bad feeling in your stomach went away, but that scared you even more.

“Why are you telling me this? It’s not my business,” you dismissed, trying your best to mask how you really felt on the inside.

“I want it to be your business. You’re the only one I want to give my number to, which is why.” Gunil slides a napkin over to you. You look down at it to see that his number is written on it. It makes your heart pound. “While I wait for your number, you can have mine. Do whatever you want with it,” he smiled.

“Ok.” You didn’t know what else to say. Gunil bid you a goodbye, leaving you alone with his number and feeling terrified as you stared at it. Not being able to stare at it any longer you grabbed the napkin, crumbling it up and shoving it into the pocket of your apron. You didn’t know what to do.

The next day Gunil came into the cafe just as he always does. You almost ran away to hide in the back, but your coworker already left for the day, leaving you as the only one to work the counter.

“The usual?” you tried to sound normal.

“Yes please,” he answered. You moved to prepare his drink. Feeling hyper aware of his crumpled number in your pocket. You came back to the counter with Gunil’s drink in your hand.

Taking a moment to swallow the lump in your throat before speaking.

“Are you busy?” you asked, keeping his drink on your side of the counter.

“No, why?” he returned

“I close up in fifthteen minutes so…” Your throat tightens up and you push his drink over to his side of the counter.

“I’ll wait.” His eyes shone brightly.

“You don’t know if fifteen minutes ever felt so fast or so slow as you hang up your apron. You anxiously held the napkin with Gunil’s number on it. Taking a few breaths before heading over the table where Gunil was waiting.

“There you are,” Gunil said happily as you sat down.

“Yeah,” you murmured. Silence encased the two of you. You tried to find the words to speak, but your throat felt tight, your heart was beating hard and your hands felt clammy.

“Don’t you have something to tell me?” Gunil checks.

“Oh yeah I do it just..uh..” you brought up your hand that was holding the napkin. “I don’t know what to do with this.” You hesitantly opened your hand, letting the crumpled napkin fall onto the table. Gunil breaks out into a shining smile and a light laugh.

“Why do you look so happy?” you questioned.

“Because you kept it. I thought you threw it away,” he tells you.

“I don’t know what to do with it though,” you said.

“Stand up,” Gunil orders you.

“What?”

“Stand up,” he repeats with a chuckle. You do as you're told and stand up.

“Walk over to the trash.” You looked at Gunil oddly, but still did as he said walking over to the trash.

“Throw it away.” He nodded his head in the direction of the trash.

“Huh?” your brows came together.

“Throw it away,” he repeated.

“You want me to throw your number away?” you asked.

“Throw it away,” he said again. You lifted your hand that contained the napkin with Gunil’s number on it, but froze before you could let it fall into the trash. You didn’t want to.

“I don’t want to,” you said out loud.

“Then what do you want to do with it?” Gunil prompted.

“I told you I don’t know.” you let your hand fall back beside you.

“You do know. You know you don’t want to throw it away, which also means you want to keep it, doesn’t it?” You did want to keep it and that scared you. You nodded your head.

“See you do know what to do with it. Keep it.” You walked back over to the table taking a seat again.

“If I keep it doesn’t that mean you’d be waiting for me to contact you?” you questioned.

“You don’t have to contact me,” he told you.

“Don’t you want me to?” You inferred.

“Of course I want you too, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he said. Another silence encases the two of you.

“I’m scared,” you revealed softly.

“What?” Gunil asked.

“I’m scared to love someone. I got hurt in the past and now I’m scared to love someone again,” you confessed. Now Gunil understood the way you were acting.

“I’m not asking you to love me y/n. You know that I like you though, so if you give me a chance and face your fear I promise I’ll treat you the absolute best. If I ever hurt you I’ll beat myself to a pulp,” he says. The fact that you’re thinking over his words and thinking about giving him a chance scares you.

The next day your heart pounded as you wrote your number on Gunil’s cup, even had a second cup ready to go just in case you chickened out.

“Here’s your drink,” you passed the cup, with your number on it, to Gunil. “Have a goo-”

“Best day ever!” Gunil cuts you off, doing a fist pump, making you laugh. You were still scared to love, however Gunil was making being scared worth it. “Thank you!” He expresses eyes filled with sincerity.

“Take good care of it.” (me) You point your finger at him.

“The best-est” He swore….and he did.

#I think I liked this more in my head....#xdinary heroes #xdh #xdh imagines #xdh x reader #xdinary heroes imagines #xdinary heroes x reader #xh gunil #gunil x reader #goo gunil #koo gunil #gunil

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the-fluff-piece · 1 year ago

Text

A Delicate Dance of Swords, part 3

Previous parts:

Part 1

Part 2

Also check out my masterlist!

So after open communication from the last part didn't work, Zoro tries to play the game romance novel style. The ship stops at a small island and replenishes their supplies, giving him the perfect opportunity to seduce you like a true romance hero! He also drives you insane because he is just hot and a total idiot. Still sfw and funny fluffy! CW: Y/n gets a bit hurt and is in pain

"Land ahead!" Namis voice could be heard all over the ship.

"We need supplies" Sanji chimed in.

"Lots of meat!" Luffy screamed.

"And medicine" Chooper added.

"But most of all, we need cola! We only have enough for a tiny coup de burst, we have to restock." Franky reminded everyone.

Everyone gathered on deck. Zoro's cheek was still a bit red, but he looked cocky as ever.

Nami was handing out money and to-dos: buying supplies, ship parts for repairs and all of the other necessities on sea.

"I will have some of my own business to attend to" Zoro said mysteriously.

"No, you have to do some shopping as well. Next island is far away, we have to split up and get lots of stuff." She shoved a shopping list into his face. "And you can carry a lot of stuff."

Their eyes met for an unnerving moment. "So it's settled, Zoro will go and get barrels of cola for the ship." Luffy's matter of fact order came through to Zoro and he snatched the paper from namis fingers. "Ok, just that, than I have some private business."

"Whatever. And take y/n with you so you don't get lost" she said and tossed you a purse with beri. "They are counted, change comes back here, understood?" She wagged her finger like a mom.

"Why do I have to go with him?" You said with a pout, remembering what he said to you earlier.

Zoro seemed pleased. "Let's get that cola!" He growled with unexpected enthusiasm and took your hand, leading you to the wrong side of the ship, opposite of the dock. You looked at him. He looked at the sea, puzzled. You kick his muscular ass in the ocean as revenge.

"Hope you manage to find the harbour or I will have to ask Sanji to help me carry the barrels" you teased and strode off.

"Oi, for what was that???" You heard his protest as you reached dry land. You waited a few minutes for him to crawl out of the harbour, completely soaked. You were smiling at him maliciously as his own scowl turned to a mischievous grin. "You wanted it" he announced - getting rid of his coat. "Guess I'll have to go like this". His bare chest was as formidable as always and the glistening water didn't help. Small, glinting drops were caught in his chest hair and made him sparkle like a stripper. Goddamn that man and his perfect body! You thought as you closed your mouth again and tore your eyes of that hot mess. "Let's go to town" you said and moved away from him. Seconds later his huge, wet hand caught yours. "I don't want to get lost. You will have to guide me" that evil smile was there again as he enclosed your hand in his iron grip. "Nami said so."

Grunting angrily, you made your way to the city centre with a dripping, half naked muscle man practically fused to your hand. It was a shame - the city was built on a hill with beautiful, narrow streets and terraces full of flowers. The people on the island wore colorful clothing and showed lots of skin - no surprise with the hot weather. You could already see heads turning and hear admiring whispers from the surrounding women as Zoro followed you through the small streets with its beautiful houses.

You looked around for some kind of shop and asked where to get the supplies. A slightly shocked clerk gave you directions to a place where you could get the quantity the ship needed for fuel. He wrote it down on a slip of paper that you stuffed into your back pocket.

"Alright Zoro, up the hill, there should be a store that sells whole barrels and not just bottles."

"Aye, my lady" he said with a low voice.

What's up with him, has he made it his life's goal to irritate you? His hand was still firmly closed around yours, it had to look like you were a couple holding hands. You just hoped no one of the crew would see you.

Determined to get it over with, you made your way through the small streets like the clerk told you, with Zoro following you like a sexy shadow. His thumb had begun to stroke your hand, only unnerving you more. In fact, it distracted you enough that you walked into a dead end. Great. You tried to get the paper out of your pocket, but it was hard with just one hand.

"Zoro, I need both hands for a second, let go" you wiggle your imprisoned hand around. He doesn't let go.

"I'll get it" he said, his hand already moving to your trousers, you try an evasive manoeuvre but he pinned your hand above your head to the wall of the alley. It wasn't painful, but you felt that there was no escape. His good eye was fixed on your face as you felt his hand caress your hip before diving into your back pocket, searching a bit too long for your taste, his thick fingers searching around and stroking your butt cheek in the process.

"Got it" he held the description up between his fingers and you took it, awkwardly fumbling the folded paper open with one hand. This was ridiculous. He was so close now you could feel the heat radiating off his exposed torso, so close you could make out the texture of his tan skin in enough detail to make your mouth water. Why does this brute idiot have to be so hot?

"So, where are we going? Or do you want to stay here a bit?" His voice was a low whisper as he inched his body closer to yours, already moving to place his leg between yours. The shift in his posture made all of the muscles in his torso dance under that sunkissed skin. Your heart began to pound - it felt like a great idea to just let him do what he obviously wanted to - but his strange little speech about your lacking body made you mad, especially when he presented himself like a perfectly chiseled statue. The memory of your hand on his scars came crashing back into you mind. But all that hotness, all that beautyful strength, it was worth nothing if he was not genuine. If he was not meaning it, only playing with you for fun, this wasn't worth it.

Just as you wanted to ram your knee into his crotch, he moved to place his hand on the wall just next to your head, effectively trapping you between him and the wall in a delicate cage. His hand, however, came in a bit too fast and forceful and before you could stop him you heard the impact of his steel hard fist with the wall, bits of brick and dust rained down on you.

"Oh fuck sorry" Zoro shouted through the hole he had made, apologising to the now surely traumatised family, whose living room now had an additional opening.

"I'll fix that!" He frantically screamed.

"We'll send in our builder, he'll have that fixed in no time" you added through the whole, making a mental note to tell Franky to come by.

He immediately backed off, although he didn't let go of your hand. "Uhm, let's go" he growled through gritted teeth. You finally got the chance to study the paper and find the right way.

You made your way up the hill where the store should be. The way lead up a cliff and had a beautiful view of the beach and ocean below. A light ocean breeze refreshed you as you looked over the water.

"So when's sunset?" Zoro asked from behind you.

"In a few hours?" You answer.

"Like 1?2?" He asked again.

"More like 4 or 5. Why?"

"Nuffin'" he mumbled and tugged at your hand. "Let's go a little slower." Unable to pull his weight, you slowed down.

"Why?"

"I'm tired"

"You're not tired, you can run for hours. This was a slow walk."

"Let's just take our time..."

"Why do you want to wait until sunset? Is it this business of yours?"

"Curious?"

"NO"

"You are curious"

"We can complete our assignment, get back, and you'll have all the time in the world to get back here until the sun sets." You turned around to look at him. "Than you can attend to your business."

"Fine." He moved at normal speed again and seemed to decide to quit this strange demeanor and did his best to get the barrels on a cart and pull the whole thing through the city and back to the ship as fast as possible.

But even with the barrels in the ships storage rooms - you just lend that cart and had to bring it back - again with Zoro in tow. What a nuisance. He seemed lost in thought, though, like this strange business of his was so distracting. Once again you passed the cliff with the breathtaking view and you couldn't help but look out to the sea. Your mood has significantly increased since Zoro quit his strange behavior.

Without further incidents, you gave the cart back and were done for the day. You relaxed and walked down the path again, already looking forward to a delicious dinner on the ship.

"You can attend to your business now" you told Zoro.

"I'm heading back to the ship." with a wave you went down the road.

"Oh great, I will get right to it" Zoro answered and walked beside you.

He looked at you with that unnerving stare again. You stared back.

He gave you a confident grin.

"Oopsie!" He said before he - clearly deliberately - let himself fall towards you, catching you with his hands around your waist and burying you underneath him. It was like being knocked out by solid stone. Lots of it. Fuck, that guy was heavy! As you fell onto cobblestone, you felt your ankle twist - sharp pain shot through your leg as this massive hunk of a man landed on you and put your body through a bit too much force.

You barely registered his face landing in between your breasts as you screamed "OUCH FUCK" and just kept cursing because of the pain, tears shooting into your eyes.

"Oh my god what happened? Did I hurt you?" He said, panic in his voice as he knelt over you, his hands hovering helplessly over your body.

"I didn't mean to hurt you!" He assured you.

"Well you broke my leg you giant, stupid....meatball!" Your head was spinning with the sharp pain and unable to give you a better insult. Zoro moved to examine your leg, and, upon remembering that he didn't know much about medicine, picked you up, which caused you to scream again.

You cursed and cried in his arms as your unsupported injury dangled in the air, causing him to lay you down again. "Why do you hate me???" You demanded, screaming.

His face absolutely fell apart and rearranged in an expression of utter panic.

"I don't hate you!" He shouted.

"Then why do you hurt me? Why are so mean to me all day? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?" all the frustration and pain broke through and big tears dropped from your eyes in a stready stream.

"I didn't want to hurt you! And I didn't want to be mean. Fuck, I don't hate you - I fucking love you!" Zoro was now close to tears, too, and he howled the last part as if it caused him pain. His big hand tried to cath the tears from your eyes, as if that somehow helped.

"...what?"

"I love you! I was trying to get you to like me back all day, it was the perfect plan. I thought you wanted this!" He shoved his hands into his haramaki and for a second, you feared that he would whip his dick out.

Instead, he held up a messy conglomerate of dirty paper. On second look - it could almost be mistaken for a book. An antique one. The pages were dirty and looked like they had been soaked more than once, the cover was almost unreadable- until you noticed the picture.

"You little fucker stole my book?" Rage was taking the lead now as you snatched it from his hand, staring at the sorry pile of paper in disbelief.

"Why do you have my book?" You asked angrily.

"You obviously love that shit! I just wanted to give you what you wanted!" Zoro pleaded.

You looked through the pages. Some were marked: the bandit king is teasing the princess, telling her that she is flat as a pancake. Another marker, he's trying to protect her and makes her hold on to him tightly in a crowd. He pinned her against a wall and they...

Realizing what this idiot's head has produced, you have to laugh.

"You just did what was in the book and expected it to work?!"

"You looked so happy reading it! You obviously like that stuff." he explained miserably.

"Yes Zoro, I like to read it. Not live it." You tried to explain to this hot idiot.

"Isn't that the same?" Zoro asked, already kind of realizing that he made a mistake.

"No! I don't want to be chased by assassins while relying on a guy that I don't trust! It's only suspenseful and sexy when I can read that while relaxing in my chair!" you scream the obvious at him.

"Oh." He seemed to think hard. But at least he acted like the old Zoro you knew again.

"I am sorry" he said, kneeling in front of you. "I am sorry that I was a stupid...meatball" he said, already goofing around again.

"Apology accepted" you said.

"So...we good now?" He asked relieved.

"We still have some things to talk about" you said.

"Yeah, maybe." Suddenly he appeared more like an insecure boy than a grown swordsman. He couldn't look you in the eye, fumbling around in his hair.

"So yeah, I like you. A lot. I think your figure is just perfect and that you're really cool" he chose his words carefully and talked slowly. It wasn't a great speech or an original confession, but the words were all his and that was all you needed.

"I like you, too" you confessed. For the first time in days, the tension between you two dropped and he showed you an honest, happy smile.

"So, can I kiss you now?" He already leaned forward and pursed his lips.

You nodded and enjoyed the feeling of his lips on yours as he carefully held your head in his hand. He was far more cautious than you would have expected, clearly holding back. His hot lips cautiously brushed against your and just the tip of his tongue danced between your mouths. Since he was into sexy games now you softly bit his lip, teasing, asking for more. He moaned and got more passionate - but you had to stop him as he started to give the rest of your body more attention.

"Zoro" you whispered as his tongue trailed down your neck, "we're still on a street. Maybe we should go back to the ship. And my ankle still hurts."

With a frustrated moan, he stopped and picked you up, taking great care to prop up your ankle against his arm. Lifting you up was nothing to him, his hands carried you as surely as the thousand sunny did.

"I learned from this book of yours that waiting can be hot, too. Although I hate it right now" he growled into your ear.

You chuckled. "Didn't you want to watch the sunset?"

"Fuck that sunset. Let's patch you up and get dirty, that book has some crazy ideas I want to try out. Like what they're doing when she bathes and there's some hot stuff she does to him when they..." his voice trails of and his face got a lewd expression.

So that's part three! In the next Part, Zoro will further explore the sexy ideas the books give him - getting a bit more 18+. Or do you people have other ideas?

And here are the dear people that left nice comments on the previous one so I tag you

@zorosbigbootyassgirlfriend

@shadowywizardarcade

@gondriasblog

@dizzy08

#one piece fanfiction #one piece x you #op zoro #zoro roronoa x reader #zoro roronoa #zoro roronoa x you #roronoa zoro #zoro x reader #zoro fluff #zoro x y/n #zoro fanfiction

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argumentalist · 4 months ago

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I was absolutely hooked the very first time I saw this version of the FA-78 Full Armor Gundam from Mobile Suit Gundam Thunderbolt. It's so ridiculously over-the-top.

Thankfully, both the manga and the ONA are pretty good. It'd be a shame for something this amazing to be stuck in a terrible story.

I'm just building the high grade kit this week.

I don't have a lot of master grade kits under my belt yet and the FA-78 Ver.Ka looks intimidating as all hell. Maybe that's something to work up to one day...

Even though it's just a high grade - there's a lot of plastic in this box. 9 normal runners plus a bunch of polycaps and a couple beam-saber blades. And, oddly enough, no multicolor runner. Each runner is just a single color.

There's a bunch of color-correcting foil stickers, as well as some sticker-style decals.

I decided to use the foil stickers because I didn't want to try to paint all these tiny little details... But I'm not convinced they're actually adding much to the kit. I mean - those big thrusters on the front of the knee obviously look better in color. But the little tiny things on the side? I think those looked just fine without the stickers.

The artwork for the FA-78 shows its joints covered in some kind of protective shroud to keep dust and debris out. The HG kit replicates this with weird, wrinkly-looking molded plastic bits. They look OK, but it's a real pain to panel-line them. I gave up on actually trying to hit the lines and just kind of slopped panel-liner all over the parts and then cleaned it up.

The build is about what I'd expect from an older HG kit. There's lots of polycaps and the armor sections are basically hollow. And it's just purely the "full armor" version of the FA-78. There aren't really any bits you can remove to make it look like a standard/basic RX-78.

Of course it wouldn't be Thunderbolt without a ridiculously-huge backpack and entirely too many shields.

Clearly, there's a lot to this kit. I think about half the build was spent on the accessories.

This kit just looks good. Even without all the accessories. It's a very solid build. Everything feels very tight and stable. I had absolutely no trouble posing it at all.

This kit comes with a weird little stand... And while that's not strictly necessary (the kit can stand up without it, even with the backpack), I can't really see posing this kit without a stand. It's meant to be zooming around in space - not stuck on the ground.

I wish those little sub-arms on the backpack were actually articulated. I had some difficulty getting it posed with the two shields. But I guess that's what you get when trying to cram all of this into an HG kit.

So, clearly, I'm going to have to build the Ver.Ka.

This is such an amazing design... And this little kit is absolutely fantastic, even without the sticker-style decals... I just have to see what the Ver.Ka is like.

#plamo #gunpla #gundam #fa-78 #full armor gundam #io fleming #mobile suit gundam thunderbolt #december sky

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halsteadlover · 2 years ago

Text

𝐍𝐨 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by @rsquared31: She and Adam are either still in the stages of flirting or early on in a new relationship together. Something happens to her and Adam rushes to get to her, but then internally struggles between going after the attacker or running directly to her - not wanting the asshole to get away, wanting to tackle him and make him pay for daring to hurt her, but also wanting to see if she was ok and be the one to help her. She’s taken to the hospital, where the injury was bad enough for her to be out/unconscious for a while? Adam stays with her and refuses to leave. He makes some admissions when she wakes up.

• Warnings: mention of blood, injury, drug, throwing up, tiny bit of swearing.

• Word count: 4456.

• A/N: this is the first time writing for someone who isn’t Jay and I’m so nervous 😭 it’s ugly as fuck but are we even surprised? I hope you like it anyway. please let me know what do you think and feel free to give me any advice or send me ideas for new stories! Likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated ❤️ thank you so much for the amazing support you showed me and for encouraging me to challenge myself and write for other characters, I love you all xx

“Good morning darling,” a voice caught your attention.

You were in the break room pouring some coffee – which you already knew would be awful – into your cup. Before you even turned around a smile appeared on your lips, having recognized who that voice belonged to. You would’ve recognized it among another million people.

You turned your face to a smiling and impossibly handsome Adam who didn't even try to hide the cheeky way his eyes studied every inch of your body.

“Good morning to you handsome,” you returned his greeting trying not to stammer and blush in front of his intense and provocative gaze. But you couldn't hide the way your heart whirled in your chest, almost skipping a beat, or the way every cell in your body woke up from the excitement.

Excitement of what? He hadn't done anything but look at you and you were already a complete mess.

The power this man had over you.

“Indeed it's a really good morning,” he replied, hands in his pockets as his eyes looked you up and down your body without shame and restraint, stopping on your ass. His tongue wet his lips as he tried to suppress the ever-growing urge to get his hands anywhere on your body.

He confidently walked over you, your cheeks burning as he leaned against the edge of the kitchen right next to you. The way he looked at you, his head tilted slightly to the side, a winky smile on his lips, his light-brown eyes looking up at you so intently they seemed to want to read into you. God, you'd drop everything and get down on your knees.

“You know Adam, I'm not just a piece of meat,” you pretended to be offended, as if it really didn’t flatter you to know he was attracted to you, as if you didn’t crave his eyes on you every minute, every second of the day. You took a sip of your coffee, trying to mask your disgust.

Adam chuckled. “It's not my fault, I can't help it if you're so beautiful,” he replied flirtatiously exploding every ounce of self-control you possessed, “This is for me isn't it?” he pointed the coffee.

He smiled as he noticed the blush on your cheeks and the way you tried to hide it. God, that was one of the things he most loved about you. How could you be so beautiful? So hot and sexy but so cute at the same time?

Adam stopped trying to explain to himself what he felt about you long time ago, the way you drove him crazy, the way he was always thinking about you, continuously, always, constantly.

“Oh yeah it's all yours,” you said, handing him the cup of coffee without hesitation. His fingers brushed yours as you did so and a shiver ran down your spine, giving you goosebumps. You tried to stop yourself from giggling like a little schoolgirl, not wanting to show him the effect he had on you.

But he knew it all right, because that was exactly what happened to him.

“And by the way, you're not so bad either, Ruzek,” you looked him up and down and this simple sentence was enough for Adam to lose his head and feel his dick twitch in his pants.

Adam took a deep breath, looking at the ceiling for a moment as if trying to regain control of himself. “Y/N, Y/N…” he murmured your name like a prayer before returning his eyes to you. “What am I going to do with you?”.

“What are you talking about? What did I do?”, you asked in a dumb tone. He didn't answer you, but kept looking at you, studying every millimeter of your beautiful face, feeling his hands tingle from trying to repress the desire to touch you. The sexual tension between you two was so high it could fuel the entire city of Chicago, the air so tense anyone within miles would notice the way you looked at each other, how you were drawn to each other like magnets.

He set the cup of now-cold coffee in the sink before caressing your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You stopped breathing for a second as your subconscious kept hoping he'd kiss you until he took your breath away.

“Make me lose my goddamn mind.”

Oh God.

“I'm not doing anything,” you whispered, your eyes always fixed on his so lively and brilliant eyes. They were so bright, so full of life and joy that just looking at them was able to calm you when everything seemed to fall apart.

His eyes kept alternating between your eyes and lips. His mind raced as he tried to think of all the reasons why he shouldn't press his lips to yours, but right now he could only think of a thousand reasons why he should do it instead.

“We shouldn't be that close,” you muttered, your voice so low, not convinced by your own words. “I know, we shouldn't,” he whispered back but remaining in that position. His thumb caressed your cheeks softly, his touch so light and delicate that made you forget everything around you, “But I can't help it.”

A sudden noise immediately pulled you away from each other and you prayed with every fiber of your being it wasn't Voight.

“Finished playing lovebirds?” Kevin's amused voice broke that magical moment between you and Adam.

“Oh… Uhm… H-he was pulling an eyelash out of my eye,” you blurted out the first excuse that crossed your mind, ignoring Kevin's gaze. Adam was trying to suppress the smile that threatened to come across his lips as you stuttered embarrassedly. He had to resist the urge to pull you to him and hug you.

“Sure like you weren’t about to tear your clothes off,” Kevin laughed back.

“I… I have to go to the bathroom…” you stammered and then started walking away from the break room to finally be able to breathe.

“Not so fast honey, we have a new case, I came here to call you guys.”

Adam tried to suppress the annoyance that just hearing Kevin call you 'honey' gave him.

Fuck's sake get a grip.

How had he gotten to the point he even felt jealous of his friend calling you ‘honey’?

You and Adam had always had this kind of relationship, ever since you started working in the Intelligence. From the first moment there had been a feeling between you, a feeling you had few times in your life and that brought you closer to the point every occasion was good for you two to flirt and tease each other.

But over time, your relationship deepened and soon what was a simple flirting became something more, from both of you. Neither of you came forward with the fear of rejection from the other and that's how you ended up in this state of limbo, in which you both desired each other from afar, in which every time you found yourself close the tension skyrocketed.

You didn’t say anything, exited the break room at light speed while Adam obviously followed you with his gaze, watching you carefully. When you were out of sight of him, he glanced at Kevin who laughed at the sudden change of his facial expression. He had gone from a beaten and hopelessly in love puppy to a furious hyena.

“Thank you so much Kev,” he nudged him lightly.

“Hey! What did I do? I just came to call you, we happen to be at work in case you forgot. I know you are so madly in love with each other and bla bla bla but I want to remind you we are in the district, in our unit, with Voight.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “I'm not in love and… Fuck’s sake just mind your business.”

Now that was a good lie, he was very much in love with you, and a lot too.

“So you don't mind if I ask her out do you?” Kevin asked with mock seriousness just to test his friend’s patience and from the way he looked at him as if he was ready to knock him down, he knew he had managed to do it.

“Say it one more time and I'll punch you in the fucking face,” Adam said and for some strange reason Kevin figured he was serious.

He laughed and threw his hands up in surrender. “I was just joking man, I would never do it.”

The case concerned a large exchange of drugs that would’ve been made that same day and which an Antonio’s informant had told him about. With the whole team, you opted for a silent flash attack, in order to surprise the traffickers in the middle of the exchange and arrest them all.

You were all armed with shotguns and bulletproof vests and once you arrived at the place where the drug trade was about to take place, you split up as agreed: Kim went with Antonio and Voight, Jay with Hailey and finally you with Adam.

“Hey, be careful okay?” Adam had whispered in your ear just before entering. You turned to him and smiled. “Be careful too,” you replied.

The building where the drug trade would take place was abandoned and from the dust and the amount of junk it had been in disuse for many years. It was the perfect place for a drug trade, it was spacious, disused, isolated, no one would ever suspect the illegal activities that took place there.

After the team split up, you and Adam headed into the back entrance of the massive building, stepping in silently and fingers close to the trigger ready to fire whenever necessary. The traffickers worked on kilos of drugs and judging by the quantity present, it must’ve been worth a lot of money.

Your heart was pounding, so hard you could almost hear it in your ears. It didn't matter how many missions like these you had done, how many drug exchange attempts you had thwarted, the anxiety in those moments of suspense would always be present.

That was the perfect time to intervene, those men never expected the police to be there. You waited for Voight's signal from the headset transceiver connected to your ear, at which point you all exclaimed.

“Chicago PD! Everyone down and hands up!”

At that point chaos ensued.

The men wasted no time and immediately started to shoot, beginning a firefight that forced all of you to hide. You and Adam hid behind a wrecked car, firing your rifles. The sound of gunfire echoed in that establishment, bullet shells flew here and there on the dirty and dusty floor, and those traffickers had no intention of giving up. You hated to admit it, but they were giving you a hard time.

After unloading a full loader, you sat down to protect yourself and put a new one into the rifle. Adam glanced at you with the corner of his eyes before returning his gaze in front of him and firing a few shots and then bending down to shelter from the shots.

“Holy shit,” he cursed and you couldn't help but agree with him. It was a horrible situation.

You peeked out with your head and shot a trafficker who was about to shoot in your direction at the same time, whose body fell lifeless to the ground.

As you were about to take cover at that very moment your gaze fell causally next to Adam and with horror you noticed a weapon aimed at him, a man ready to shoot him.

“Adam! Get down!” you screamed and instinct prevailed. Before he could even figure out what was happening, you lunged at him, pushing him to the ground and shooting the man at the same time but not before he too fired a few shots as he fell to the ground.

Time stopped for an instant and everything went in slow motion. You didn't immediately understand what happened only when a throbbing pain went through your abdomen. You didn't immediately realize you'd been hit by a bullet.

Adam lifted himself off the ground only then realizing you were lying on the floor.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed in horror feeling his heart nearly stop in his chest. He knelt down next to you. “It's okay, it's okay baby, you’re gonna be okay.”

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed the criminal you shoot get up and run away.

“Fuck,” you hissed in pain “Adam he is running away…”

“Like hell I'm leaving you alone,” he urged, pulling off your bulletproof vest and heaving a sigh of relief when he saw the bullet had been stopped by the vest. You pushed his hand away, trying to breathe deeply. “Adam go! I am fine just go!” you exclaimed aloud, making your pain increase.

Adam found himself conflicted, for the first time in his life unable to decide what to do. He didn't want to leave you alone, not when you were suffering like that and unable to defend yourself, but at the same time he wanted to take that son of a bitch, not because he was a criminal, but for daring to hurt you.

“Baby, it’s okay, I'm fine I promise,” you continued, patting his hand encouragingly noting his hesitation. “Go.”

Adam reluctantly got up and started chasing after the criminal – who wounded, didn't run very far – not before alerting your teammates you had been hit and were on the ground unprotected while he was doing the chase.

“Chicago PD! Stop!” yelled Adam as he ran after the man. He tried to increase his pace but the bullet that had hit him had weakened him a lot since, unlike you, there was no bulletproof vest to protect him.

It wasn't long before Adam caught up with the criminal. He threw himself on him causing him to crash to the ground and before he could even defend himself, Adam had punched him in the face.

Then another one.

And one more time.

He was blinded by rage, the image of you lying on the ground in pain as you struggled to breathe etched perfectly into his memory with every punch he landed.

“Son of a bitch!” he yelled in his face as another punch collided with the smuggler's face.

“Adam! Stop for fuck's sake or you'll kill him!” Jay exclaimed, running towards him and pushing Adam away from the man lying on the ground almost unconscious.

“Let me go!” Adam tried to escape from Jay's grip as he pushed him away from the man before breaking free and running to you, showing no remorse for beating the criminal.

He found you in the same spot, this time leaning against the car while Hailey was next to you. During the firefight almost all of the traffickers were killed, while some were handcuffed and arrested.

“It's okay, help is on the way,” she tried to reassure you even though the only person you needed was Adam. “Take small breaths, everything will be fine.”

“Y/N! Hey, hey, I'm here,” you breathed a sigh of relief if it wasn't so painful. She immediately knelt beside you, cupping her face in her hands, her heart in a vise as she saw you in so much pain.

“You'll be fine okay? Everything will be fine. How are you feeling?”.

“It hurts like hell,” you cursed. Damn it, you almost forgot how much it hurt a bullet hit.

Hailey at that moment said she’d walk away to help the others, leaving you and Adam alone.

“I know, I know it hurts, baby I'm so sorry” he stroked your face “Can I take a look?”.

You nodded and, trying to be as delicate as possible, he lifted your shirt, almost blanching when he saw the extent of the damage and the huge bruise caused by the bullet.

“It's that bad huh?”.

Adam had to swallow the lump in his throat, the guilt wearing him down because he knew that bullet was meant for him. God, he would’ve taken ten bullets rather than see you suffer even one second of your life. He hated seeing you like that, he hated not protecting you, he hated you took that bullet instead of him.

“I'm so sorry sweetheart…”

“Is this a way of saying 'thank you for saving my life'?” you tried to joke but the serious and destroyed expression on Adam's face suggested he wasn't in mood for jokes.

“It was meant for me, it should’ve been me,” he sighed and you took his hand with yours, stroking the back of it.

“It’s not your fault, I’d do it again thousand times.”

At that moment the paramedics arrived and after many oppositions you had yourself examined, under the inquiring gaze of Adam who never left your side.

Once you arrived at Med's it was Will who visited you. “How much does it hurt from one to ten?”.

“Four,” you answered but flinced when he gently patted your abdomen.

“Y/N.” he admonished you.

“Fine, shit,” you hissed in pain “Eleven.”

“Why are you cops so stubborn? I swear, you're all the same, always thinking you're superheroes.”

“I just want to go home Will, please give me a couple of painkillers and let me go,” you begged.

You began to feel dizzy and a wave of nausea washed over you as the pain gradually became more and more intense and unbearable.

“You're not going anywhere miss,” Will stated “Judging by the abdominal distension I'd say there's internal bleeding but I'll do an ultrasound just to make sure.”

“Will...” you muttered feeling the need to vomit “I have to... I have to throw-...” you couldn't finish the sentence you lifted up slightly and started throwing up, but the nurse present was quick enough to take a basin nearby and place it in front of you.

“It's definitely internal bleeding,” Will said after doing the abdominal ultrasound.

Your vision started to get blurry and your heart pounding so fast, you felt like it was about to stop.

“I can't... I can't breathe...”

Adam – who meanwhile was in the waiting room – had almost dug a trail in the floor due to his continuous back and forth, feeling anxious like never before.

He hated waiting, having to sit there with folded hands and not being able to do anything to help you while you were in the operating room and Rhodes was operating on you to contain the internal bleeding. The guilt was wearing him down even though rationally he knew it wasn't his fault.

He felt guilty because he had always promised himself he’d protect you from everything and everyone, he’d kill rather than risk someone hurting you, he felt guilty because he was the one who was supposed to be on the operating table.

The moment you threw yourself at him to protect him kept playing in his mind over and over again, like a videotape playing over and over again. Why had you risked your life like that to protect him?

He couldn't blame you, God he would’ve done the exact same thing, but he couldn't help but be mad at you for doing such a stupid thing. Why did you do it?

The surgery lasted about an hour and when you woke up the first thing – or rather person – your eyes rested on was Adam, whose arm was around your waist, his head resting on your belly as he embraced you, his eyes closed.

He wasn't really sleeping, in fact as he felt your fingers in his hair, he jerked up, his eyes widening when he saw you were finally awake.

“Y/N, baby, oh my god thank god you're awake,” he gushed, leaning down and hugging you. “I missed you so much, thank God you're okay.”

You smiled, returning that hug with all the strength you had in your body. “I missed you too.”

“How are you? Are you okay now? Does it hurt?” he peppered you with questions once you broke away from the hug. He sat back on the chair again, but entwined his fingers with yours, never letting go. Your heart almost exploded as he brought your hand to his lips leaving a small kiss on the back.

“I feel a little numb but overall I'm fine,” you replied. “Were you always here?”.

“Of course, I’d never leave you alone baby.”

It must’ve been the stun caused by the surgery but only then you noticed the scratches and small lesions on Adam's knuckles.

“My god Adam, what happened to your hands?”.

“Oh baby you realized it a little too late,” Adam chuckled.

“Adam.”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I may have landed a few punches.”

“Adam!” you exclaimed raising your voice, a painful expression appeared on your face.

“Hey, hey, take it easy,” he spoke concerned “Y/N…” he sighed, “That son of a bitch hurt you, I… I completely lost control.

“Adam, you could get yourself into serious trouble.”

“Honestly? I don't give a fuck. If anything happened to you he wouldn't have to worry about just some punches.”

“Always acting like a macho huh?” You tried not to smile even though his protective side was one of the things you loved most about him.

“Don't even joke Y/N. When it comes to you I lose my mind,” he softly spoke “When I saw you lying on the ground, I feared for a second I lost you and I don’t want to feel like that ever again.”

You let go of his hand only to rest it on his cheek, gently stroking his cheeks and beard. “If something happened to you I would never have forgiven myself. Really Adam… When I saw that guy pointing the gun at you… I didn't understand anything anymore, I didn't want something to happen to you.”

“What you did is very stupid,” he scolded, his eyes watering as he leaned against your touch and you chuckled.

“You would’ve done the same.”

“Absolutely”

“So why shouldn't I?”.

“Because I need you Y/N, I can't think of being without you.”

This little confession cut the breath out of your lungs and the way he looked at you, God, it was so intense you could hardly maintain eye contact but something had bewitched you. There were so many things you wanted to tell him though, so many things you wanted to confess but your brain had shut down and not a single coherent, rational thought crossed your mind.

“Baby…” Adam whispered and that simple word sent a flock of butterflies into your stomach. “I can’t take this anymore…”

“W-what?”.

“Now I’m looking at you and… And you're so fucking beautiful even though you're on a goddamn bed and wearing a hospital gown and you… You’re looking at me like that… You make me lose my mind,” he blathered, not even knowing if whether or not what he was saying made sense but god he couldn't even think straight anymore, he felt so out of control and that was the effect you had on him. It didn't matter how or why, but you were capable of sending every single neuron of his brain into a tailspin, you were capable of giving him tachycardia when you even just looked at him, you were capable of making him forget the whole world.

“How am I looking at you?” you whispered.

“And when you play dumb like that, like you don't even know the effect you have on me, how you drive me crazy,” he went on “How you made me fall so madly in love with you.”

You widened your eyes and your mouth in shock, hardly believing what you had just heard.

You were speechless.

Completely speechless, and it was a rather rare occurrence.

You had dreamed of that moment for so long, you almost couldn't believe it. For a moment you even thought you were still under the influence of anesthesia and everything was happening was just a figment of your imagination.

“I'm sorry to say it like that, I know it must’ve been unexpected for you but after what happened today… I didn't want to waste any more time, life is so short and… Fuck… I know I probably screwed it all…-” he began talking again noticing your silence but you stopped him by placing your index finger on his lips.

“Kiss Me.”

Adam nearly had a heart attack, for a moment fearing he needed a hospital bed. Did he hear it right? Or was it just a hallucination?

You were about to speak again when he leaned towards you, pressing his lips against yours in a longed-for and much-desired kiss.

His hands cupped your face as he completely took your breath away. His lips were warm and soft against yours, just as you had imagined so many times. Your fingers were in his hair and it didn't take long because everything else disappeared, making you forget you were in a hospital room.

You bit his lip and he almost moaned at that sensation, this gesture further increasing the visceral need and desire he felt for you.

“Fuck don't do that again,” he murmured against your lips, finding it hard to control and stop himself. You didn't answer instead you kissed him again. You were so bewitched by Adam and as his scent flooded your nostrils, a thousand butterflies danced in your stomach.

All the pain you felt went in the background, only he existed at that moment, only his lips that continued to devour you in an intense kiss. Your head was spinning, your heart was pounding, your hands tingling, shivers ran down your spine.

“Stop, stop, Jesus Christ, we have to stop or I won’t control myself,” he whispered, pulling away from the kiss for a moment as both of your chests rose and fell as you caught your breath. “You drive me so damn crazy baby, I don't know what to do with you.”

Your eyes were fixed on his even if they alternated on his little swollen lips, red from the kiss. You were overwhelmed by the feeling you had for that man and you knew in that precise moment that a new chapter in your life had just opened, a chapter you couldn't wait to live. Your nose continued to slightly touch his, your lips brushing his, your thumbs stroking his cheeks.

“I'm so madly in love with you too Adam Ruzek,” were the first words you said after the kiss and just for the way he looked at you, you’d take hundred of those bullet and relieve the pain all over again, to see the expression of pure joy and the smile on his beautiful face.

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