#i have a lot of feelings about this and i dont really know how to verbalise them

[softness-and-shattering]

It can genuinely be really scary, to find yourself wondering "hey if there was a fire right now, could I get up, or would I just lie here?" Because youve been in overdrive and overdrive is broken. Id like to believe that the will to live would prevail but I wouldnt know until I was in that situation. Is real danger processed differrently to psychological danger?

I did have a situation the other night struggling to get food together for dinner, my partner was also exhausted, we planned badly (not at all) for shops being closed and I had a few moments of "guess we're starving tonight then". And then I was just up and moving toward the kitchen to see what could be scrounged. Im not sure I made a conscious decision to do so. Theres a tiny bit of, its not quite learned helplessness, its like theres levels of Cant Do A Thing. And sometimes when Thing Needs Doing and you Cant, but no one else can, its like it increases in urgency and then you reavaluate your spoons. Like a lot of the time my partner helps me with things I could technically do, but if I did Id be in more pain, Id have less energy to do things I enjoy that makes life worthwhile, and to her its not such a big deal to do. And sometimes we pingpong a task back and forth trying to measure how deep we would each have to dig to get it done and who will have the very relatively easier time. And sometimes the push does come with more pain, or meltdown, or panic, or tears. Some tasks just arent negotiable.

One of the worst things about being disabled, the most draining, and I sort of forgot it was unusual till Hank Green mentioned it in one of his videos about his cancer, that it was a new amd exhausting ezperience for him. Youre having to make countless decisions day in and day out. Constantly measuring energy against task against urgency or need, against survival vs fun and enjoyment, against what else is planned for the day and the week and the month, am I choosing between tasks, am I even calculating correctly. On top of that, constant monitoring of the self. How am I feeling, are these known symptoms, do they need treatment right now, ok which treatment? Is this abnormal, is it worrying, should I mention it to my dr? How long since I last had painkillers? This symptom has three conditions in common, if its a migraine I need meds immediately but if its just dehydration I dont want to be taking meds I dont need -

And on top of that is actual appointments. I had to take a months long break from most medical care because I burnt out of being able to convey relevant information and understand relevant information and parse it all and make decisions about treatment and tests. and then scheduling and scheduling and scheduling, theres only so many appointments one can attend in a week in a month so everything takes time and if you overbook you end up crashed and panicked and unable to function to even show up and its endless. Its hundreds of important health related decisions day in and day out and then we still have to decide what to eat for lunch like everyone else. On less capacity than everyone else.

Sometimes you just need to step back and rest for an hour a day a week a month. A couple years. Pacing is difficult. Resting is absurdly difficult. Im definitely out of spoons for more of this rn. Its. A lot. Burnout is so so real and the only way through is maximum rest.

One thing I don't think the Spoon metaphor has helped able-bodied people understand is that you can overdraw.

Generally, for most conditions, running out of spoons doesn't mean you collapse, doesn't produce an effect they can actually see. What it means is that you run on life support, quite possibly unsafely, until you get to a safe place and can stop. But you'll owe those spoons back, with interest. You'll have hurt yourself to do it.

Sometimes I hang out with a friend and they'll be like, wow, I'm really glad you had a good day. And I have to decide whether to make them feel bad by explaining that in fact they did not catch me on a good day, and tomorrow will probably be bad. I just made choices.

[nanamiscocksleeve]

Aight aight we gotta talk. Get a snack, cause this is kind of a rant.

NOT SPOILER FREE!

Like I said before, things were really busy yesterday so while I did pull Zayne's card, I didn't actually get around to watching it until now. Prior to watching this I saw a lot of negativity surrounding discussions of this memory, Absolute Zeal. Lots of people complaining that they had problems with them "pretending to be strangers" and that the morning after felt like a "one night stand".

Allow me to offer some of my thoughts on this. Again, these are purely my thoughts on this memory, and if anyone didn't know, Zayne is my main so lemme have my moment to defend this card.

The only glaringly obvious problem I had with this one was the fact that MC intentionally let Zayne consume alcohol knowing he avoids it. Now to me, if someone says they dont eat/drink a certain thing, I go out of my way to make sure they don't end up consuming it. And she did it because why? She got flustered that Zayne admitted to having deep feelings for her and she got embarrassed? Not good enough and lazy writing imo.

Complaints about them pretending to be strangers. Imo, couples pretending to strangers sometimes is not new. MC was just trying to get him to admit something deeper beyond his normal care for her, and it looks like she got more than she asked for with him admitting that the thought of life without her would be the definition of true loneliness. Now moving on to the aftermath.

We know Zayne is a lightweight. It's no surprise that he got tipsy. And once MC sees what happened to him, it does look like she regretted her actions and obviously tries to comfort him through this process. Btw, I thought tipsy Zayne was adorable, the way the VA was slurring his words was really cute. MC keeps insisting on giving Zayne hangover pills which he refuses and he keeps trying to initiate things with her, and she does do a decent job warding off his attention at the beginning because he's drunk.

Now here's where a lot of the discussions I read seem to baffle me. A lot of people seem to be equating Zayne's advances on MC as almost grapey. Like how drunk men take advantage of women then try to excuse their behavior because they had been drinking. I simply didn't get this vibe here? MC and Zayne have established a lot together and I genuinely feel that MC would have firmly said no if she wasn't feeling it and Zayne would have listened to her.

Secondly, MC doesn't seem to know that Zayne loses control of his evol when inebriated. Granted, there doesn't seem to be a set of fixed criteria for this to happen, so it was a coin toss imo. But when she does see it happening, she realizes her mistake and is so soft with him, reassuring him that she loves him and that he doesn't need to change anything about himself. People seemed to almost blame her saying she did this for the sake of fun and she wanted him to lose control? Maybe she did but not in this way.

Zayne on the other hand seemed almost insecure when drunk, perhaps because he knows how in control he is and he may have felt a surprising sense of freedom when he saw how he was? Basically put, he wasn't aware of how the alcohol would affect him and perhaps he saw himself as more easygoing in that moment? There's going to be insecurity and vulnerability in relationships, especially long term ones. Like geez, give the guy a break. Things like this happen, it's natural to be awkward when you're stepping out of your comfort zone.

To him, he feels like he's breaking rules like drinking alcohol and being uncharacteristically dominating over MC, but maybe alongside that confusion there's also a rush of excitement that he could be this person? There's a lot happening, and I can appreciate his struggle in not knowing how to process this.

Now the other thing that people seem to be complaining about; something about Zayne and MC being shy around each other the morning after and acting like they had a one night stand instead of being a couple that's been together for some time. Couples can still feel awkwardness with each other no matter how long they've been together if they do something that is new or out of the norm for them.

As someone that's been married for a significant amount of time, I'd like to say that due to reasons, my husband doesn't drink either, and I drink very sparingly. If he had done something very out of character regarding sex, I think both of us would have been shy while we have the discussion afterwards. It's not out of character.

And both of them needed to get his car back from the hospital and return to work. They found reassurance in their relationship being there for them despite them being busy. Because at the end of the day, people can go for hours without talking while at work (speaking from personal experience here) and also be perfect cuddlebugs when you're both back at home.

Zayne here gets the affirmation that MC always loves him despite his controlled, slightly colder presentation, and MC gets to see that Zayne is willing to anything for her, even be drunk and be this alternate version of himself of that's what makes her happy.

I didn't see anything in this card that made me hate it or even think it wasn't hot. It was INCREDIBLY spicy, especially him saying things spiral out of control when she's around. It's said in such a ragged way, like he's almost in awe of what he's willing to do for her. In the end, it feels like they didn't quite have sex but there was definitely an intense makeout session and some wandering hands for sure. Which I feel would be more in character for them not wanting to take advantage of his drunkeness.

People saying Zayne will never initiate something hot like this again because he was only doing it while drunk? Zayne does initiate, it's just more subtle than this. And now that he's seen that MC isn't opposed to being a little manhandled, he might do it again perfectly sober. A lot of his control comes from his insecurity of imagining how life would be without her.

So to people hating on this card, I almost feel like you're being critical of the fact that Zayne and MC seem to be the most "married". Marriage and even long term relationships have partners go through bouts of doubt and insecurity but that in no way reflects the depth of the relationship.

There. End rant. Sorry for unloading so much on New Years. Have an awesome day my lovelies!

[menofprogress]

Characters i would love to see more of in a future show: MEL, Jinx, Ekko

Characters i dont want them to bring back in future shows: Jayce, Viktor, Cait, Vi

I think Mel would be THEEE perfect set up for a show based on Noxus. Her story does not feel completed and i see a lot of potential there. The last time we see her in arcane might be the end of that story, but it was obviously just the beginning for mel.

Its 99% canon that Jinx is on the airship we see at the very end of the last ep, this might be a good way for her to lead us towards a story set in another part of runeterra.

I feel like not giving Ekko a seat on the council along with Sevika was an oversight and i genuinely would like to see a show centered around Zauns independence, but i think thats very unlikely.

Now about Cait and Vi. I know i JUST said id like to see a story focused on Zaun, but i dont know how id feel about Cait and Vi in future shows. My fear would be that they wouldnt properly address the actual issues with both of them there and would just continue to brush over caits chem warfare and disregard for zaunite life. With the way the story is rn i can still kind of tell myself that cait made amends (or tried to) and i would be annoyed if a show ignored that.

As for jayce and viktor. While i'd love to see canon confirmation of the fact that they didnt actually die, i feel like the rest of their story is best explored in fanfic. Really anything they could give us after that finale would cheapen their last moments together. Like imagine if they only brought one of them back? Or if they actually broke them up?? That wouldnt be unlikely at all, given the creators postcanon comments. So no, id rather have none of them.

[genderqueerdykes]

I've probably spent too much time in online queer circles lately, but this has been bothering me for a while, and I wanted to get your take on it. The tma/tme dichotomy doesn't make any sense to me. I'm a perisex gender non-conforming post-transition trans man, but I actually like presenting feminine now, and if I were to be clean shaven and go outside in feminine clothing and/or makeup, I have no doubt people would think I'm a trans woman and treat me accordingly. I would be the subject of transmisogynistic treatment, which is the exact opposite of "transmisogyny exempt", the way people who use those terms seem to categorize me by virtue of being a trans man. It makes me hesitate to present how I want to, because I'd be ridiculed by both bigots and the trans community, both for being affected by transmisogyny and "not" being affected by it. I don't understand how those terms even came to exist and be taken seriously in the trans community, because it feels like terf talking points. I thought the community was better than this? What happened to solidarity, intersectionalism, and acceptance? I don't believe for a second that people who use tma/tme haven't considered feminine trans men, since that's one of the primary targets it's used to mock. Do you know what started all this and what we can do about it to bring the trans community back together again?

it just doesn't make sense because transmisogyny doesn't exist in a vacuum. it's weaponized against gay men, cis men, trans men, bi men, intersex people, nonbinary people, genderfluid people, genderqueer people, cis women, women in general... it affects a lot of people

as an intersex person who gets clocked as both a trans woman and trans man depending on the setting, transmisogyny really doesn't exist in a vacuum. as i increase the dose of my testosterone, more and more people assume i am a trans woman. it happens constantly no matter how i try to present. i am a trans woman. but that's not my only gender. this shit doesn't make any sense

the general public doesn't really know what a trans man is. shocker, i know. the online community is obsessed with trans men. meanwhile in real life, it's crickets. to the average queerphobe, trans women are what they picture in they head when they think of a trans person. they dont really know anything beyond that. some do, and they can be shittier than average. but in real life whenever someone does something transmisogynistic to you, they are almost always perceiving you as a trans woman no matter what your identity really is

also people are literally just using tme/tma to reinvent the afab/amab binary like. they're literally just asking you for what genitals you were born with. it's creepy and gross. that's all they care about it. "tme" to them means afab. "tma" to them means amab. don't fall for their trap. it's designed to figure out your agab and nothing more.

[icarusredwings]

Carly Crocker

(Not to be confused with Carly Boothe, That's Al's girlfriend, This is Beast's wife, Story of Wade meeting her at the end)

The beauty and the beast episode pissed me off, so let's go, In finding home AU Carly Anne Crocker (aka the ex blind girl) shows up later to the mansconfesses her feelings to Hank. This time, Jeans words ring in his head about letting a girl decide how much she wants to risk and can't turn her away. If anything, he is overwhelmed with joy. I mean, come on, it doesn't take a genius to know he struggles with romance so the fact that he loved her so much and let her go, and she still came back to him? It's enough to make his entire face purple and spin her around. And if you're wondering, 'Do they replace Scott and Jean as the mansion 'lovebirds' ?'

YES. Yes, they do. Because there is not a word that describes how utterly whipped he is for her, and she sees no one else the way him, even before the operation. She can still recognize him by scent and foot steps alone.

Now that I fixed that, here's some head canons.

Carly, now that she stays at the mansion, can quickly be unnoticeable, especially if you don't go in the basement or the lab. Most people only first meet/ notice her when he comes upstairs with her on his arm.

She is mainly seen talking with Jean, but she has no distaste for any of the others. Anyone can come talk to her, and she would be more than happy to talk. She does occasionally ask questions that might seem personal, letting her curiosities of her new friends get to her.

Asking Kurt why his tail wraps around peoples legs when he hugs them, asking Kitty what would happen if she accidently got stuck in a wall, asking Ororo why she was claustrophobic, asking Logan what it was like in the 1800s. Asking Remy what it was like growing up on the streets with his type of powers. She once even asked Charles if he had regrets about opening a school.

Some things she just stook to asking Hank about. Like why Rouge didn't have a very strong trust in other women other than the ones on the team. Or How Scott delt with all the preasure of somehow representing the X men when the entire world seemed to dislike them until a time of crisis when heros are needed.

For the most part, he'd quote something at her or give her a simple awnser. "My dear, Rouge has had a hard life, and not a great time with her mother. I would steer clear of asking her this directly seeing as you dont wish to upset her, do you?" Its asked in a genuine stand point. Never trying to shame her into not being curious.

Of course, she doesn't wish to upset her friends. But there is so many lies on the media and they hold struggles she couldn't possibly understand without asking.

Hank is very chivalrous, between opening doors, taking her hand when they go up the steps, writing her notes, looks away when he feels shes indecent (dispite them having gotten married almost asap) Brings her small gifts of flowers and cakes, anything really he finds she might enjoy.

Being practically attached to the hip, she learns a lot of things and becomes somewhat of an assistant type, bringing him things, scolding him for staying up too late, forcing him to take breaks in order to eat, teasing him as a last resort. It's very Pepper Potts of her really.

Except Hank isn't like Stark. He listens (most days 🙄) seeing as he finds Carly can be very.. distracting.. when she wants too.

Mainly, She dosn't call him beasts unless she is saying "My Beast" or "Youre the only beast in my heart." Sappy stuff like that drives Hank insane. What also makes him a bit looney is when she refers to herself as "Mrs. McCoy." Or calls for him with a sweet low "Oh, Henry~"

Other than that, it's either Hank, Dr. McCoy or just Sweetie.

Carly also doesn't mind him hanging from things. She finds it cute and often teases him about Spiderman kissing her. She also simply adores when the bed dips down low and she can cuddle him like a huge teddy. Who needs a blanket when your husband was covered in the softest fur you've ever felt?

Sometimes Carly brushes him out, to save the drain later you know? But also it felt nice to get him to finally relax and lean into her. She would kiss his face and tell him how handsome he is, dragging the brush across his arms and chest, giggling at how love drunk he looks.

Other times, when Carly got cold she'd just come to him and he'll hold her while working, walking around with her in his arm, her snuggled up on his shoulder. Something Carly has learned is that Hank is very touchy. Almost starved for it so she dosn't mind being carried or held.

He rubs her back, pecking kisses onto her head while he types up something or reads. Sometimes the children make fun of him, comparing carly and him to when king kong grabs that girl and climbs the empire state building. It makes Hank a bit upset but Carly giggles because they have no clue just how safe she feels in his arms.

I wanna assume that during her periods he carries her extra and wraps one of those travel heating pads around her, gives her pain meds and makes her food. Domestic stuff that really just makes you wanna AUUUGGHH when you think about it cause god damn hes a romantic.

At first, Hank, being so gentle with her was sweet. How gently he'd hold her in bed, how softly he'd be sure to grip her when carrying her. But Carly gets a bit frustrated when Hank acts like she's made from glass.

I can see him humming Mozart to her, calling her Dear 24/7, quoting poetry to her, being sure to kiss her before he leaves on missions, etc.

He is OBSESSED when she wears his white coat because its so big on her. He thinks its adorable and cant help but stare when ever he sees her walking around in it. (Even though she lowkey looks like the pope) Carly likes wearing it when its cold in the lab or when shes taking a nap in his library chair because it smells like him. Hank has many pictures of her but one of his favorites is when you fell asleep in his chair while wearing his coat and you can clearly see in the picture that you dozed off while reading. He thinks its absolutely the best thing in that stupid cellular device.

I can definitely see their first night together- TOGETHER being something difficult. Hes too gentle with her and it takes her riling him up to get him to fuck her properly. She fully understands what shes getting into and they have plenty of time and lube, so why not?

"Henry my darling, I love you very much, and I know you are scared but I am not damaged, I'm not going to shatter if you touch me. I'm not an old vase, I am your wife. One who is capable of deciding when it's enough. So please.. stop treating me like im a pricless artifact."

"B-but you are priceless-"

"Henry-" she gives him this look of 'quit the bs'

"O-okay... I suppose I can try.."

Once she breaks his whole "I can't be too rough or ill hurt her cause shes human" bullshit mindset, It's insane.

No, they aren't rabbits but it is quite frequent and its a shock how they haven't gotten pregnant yet.

If anything its like they both cant get enough of each other, between the whispers she does in his ear to his hands around her waist all the time.

Sweet jesus. Poor Logan. He has to hear all this. He (both old logan and worst logan) is very happy for his friend but GOD he didnt ever think he'd hear someone moan 'Oh fuck- Henry!' before as loudly as Carly does. Jesus sometimes he wishes he didnt have super hearing.

It's not until Storm mentions that Hank has a wife during orientation, in which Wade finds out, and clearly, he has to go tease her about it.

Sliding onto the stainless steel work place he smirks. He's in his regular clothes today so he fully expects her to scream. She dosn't.

"Oh.. Hello. Dr. McCoy is out at the moment." She says, like an assistant does.

He smiles all big and leans forward. "So you're married to big blue huh?"

Quite proudly she smiles. "Yes. I am."

"Wwooww good for him. Actually, it's no good for you." The first part seems normal, but it's never normal with Wade. "Does he bend you over that table over there?" He blurts out. Well shit- that was suppose to stay inside.

But Carly already is smirking. "Yes, he does. It's deeply sanitized."

Wades eyes widden as if he had hit jackpot. Everyone in this stuffy place was all stuck up and prim and proper. So to hear Carly straight up admit this felt like immediate friendship.

"Wooo look at you girl. Get it. But I gotta ask. Why?"

"Why the table or why did I marry him?"

"Oooh... Both!"

"Well, A. It's fun. B. He's a good man. He's very sweet to me, even when I was blind I knew there was something about him. He cares for me so much more then anyone else has."

Wade feels like he can relate. He wants to say something honest like 'Yeah, He is a pretty good guy isnt he?' But instead his brain had other ideas.

"What? You into weird lookin mutants or something?" He makes a face that would have been wiggling his brows, if he had any.

It makes Carly shake her head, giggling.

"Well, not particualry but... You know what they say about guys with big feet.."

This made sense about wolvie actually..

He gasps loudly, hand coming to his mouth. "You naughty gal!! So it is true. You know, I've always wondered myself."

"Mmh. Now that I awnsered your questions, you have to awnser mine about the Wolverine."

"Ooh smart. Did your research I see. Who warned you I was coming?"

She gigles again. "My husband."

"Ahh that snitch. So. What do you wanna know? Im an open book but I do have a lying disorder. Full warning."

"Is it true what they say? That canadians make good lovers?" She asks, leaning on the table that Wade was now kicking his feet on.

"Unless...y'know... if you're into that sort of thing." This last bit is a whisper as Wade daintily flashes the tags around his neck while trying to give her a flirty face. "I'm owned, baby! You can't have me. Im too expensive."

He gasps again, putting a hand to his chest. "Woah woah woah! Ladies! Calm down. Im a married man!!"

COUGH engaged. Actually COUGH

Again, Carly shakes her head, giggling. Goodness. What a character this one was. "No, unfortunately, I am not. And im sure you are."

"Well, good! Cause if you break my friends heart ill rip yours out." He says, smiling, but you could tell behind those moonstone eyes that there was no joke about it.

"If I ever break his heart, I'll rip it out myself." Carly says, staring him dead center. She wasn't afraid. Should she be? Yes. But she wasn't. Because she knows the only way Hank was getting rid of her was if he cheated or hit her.

Just as he was about to say something else, he turns, hearing a "Wade?" In which suddenly he gasps again, drimatically. "Woah!! Stay off me lady! You're married!! What would ol hanky panky think about this!?" It's loud, over the top, and he even holds himself like carly was just trying to strip him all while she stood there, crossed arms, hip out and only a slightly entertained smirk.

"Really?"

"Wade what do you need?" Said blue guy asks, coming around to set down two lunch trays.

"Your wifes tryna get dirty with the poole Hank!" He says and now theres two people giving him a stupid look.

"Yeah.. riiigghhhtt.... anyway. I believe Logan is looking for you. Shall I tell him you're busy?"

Wade grins widely as he jumps off the table. "Nope. Have a wonderful day. Great meeting you. You're nothing like my roommate's girlfriend Carly, though. She's polish. You dont look polish-"

"Wade.."

"Bye! My HUSBAND is callin me!" He says, practically skipping away, out of their hair and into someone elses.

".. What a weird man." She says, watching him go. "Indeed..."

[velarisdusk]

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD PREFACE:

these are NOT meant to be soundalikes. i think our guys would use their own intonations, inflections, and creative decisions for things like cadence and ad-libs in these songs. this is meant to be a showcase of what vibes i think their songs would be. under the cut, i'll have notes on why i chose tracks, certain covers of songs, etc.

All that to say—This Is: Wings of Illyria

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

01 The Great Escape — BOYS LIKE GIRLS the song that started it all.... i've definitely said this way too many times, but i'll say it again. the bridge. 'we won't hear a word.... they.... say / they don't know us anyway.' that is azriel's part. that is where the crowd goes batshit (buh dum tss). i think their songs would be a range of stuff like pop-punk, alt, rock. this one might be a bit different than the rest of the energy of the playlist, but i was not folding on this one, it HAD to be in the playlist.

02 Seven Nation Army — The White Stripes the bass in this is so iconic and i thought az deserved it. thats pretty much the only reason, i can't even lie

03 Take Me Out — Franz Ferdinand i just really love this song LMFAOOOO also i can see rhys KILLING IT on guitar. i ALSO really like the thought of az and cass having fun shouting the backing vocals. OH OH and az and rhys playing their instruments back to back with these shit-eating smirks on their faces mmm yum

04 Somebody Told Me — The Killers this is the first of the "fun" songs i chose for them, i think that'll make more sense when you listen to the rest of the "fun" ones. like i think these are the slightly less serious songs that they'd enjoy performing.

05 Kryptonite — 3 Doors Down i think this is one of the ones i find truer to their usual sound (usual, i say, as if i didnt just make it all up lol)

06 Sex on Fire — Kings of Leon a more mellow one comparatively. the instrumentals are great in this and i see them having fun with it

07 Come As You Are — Nirvana also a bit more mellow, but i think rhys would kill this

08 Aerials — System Of A Down so.. serj tankian has a very unique voice and i love it but obv rhys wouldnt sound like that yknow? i just think the guitar in this song is awesome and i think rhys would have a lot of fun playing this one (also az on harmony yum)

09 The Kill — Thirty Seconds To Mars a classic emo/alt song. this one all around is AMAZING for them. the backing vocals, the belting, the DRUMS. cass would have so much fun on this one

10 Everlong — Foo Fighters starts slow but picks up, i think the instrumentals all around are very them. i see rhys being super passionate on vocals (not to mention how iconic the guitar is HELLOOOO), cass smashing the mf drums, az with the mellow backing vocals

11 Dance, Dance — Fall Out Boy i think if any of these songs are a bit out of the realm of the others, these two fall out boy tracks are it. dont get me wrong, it still fits into the vibe with those "fun" songs i was talking about, it's just one of their less serious songs i think

12 Thnks fr th Mmrs — Fall Out Boy three hot guys singing about casual sex. need i say more?

13 Dear Maria, Count Me In — All Time Low pop punk singer rhys!! i love!! another "fun" song

14 Are You Gonna Be My Girl — Jet yet another "fun" song! ugh idk i just find them singing about a girl to be very hot and sexy

15 You're Gonna Go Far, Kid — The Offspring the guitar.. the aggressive lyrics.... the shouted ad libs (def cass on the 'trust, deceived' at the end of the second verse) and the lower harmony by az

16 Scotty Doesn't Know — Lustra A "FUN" SONG!! ONE OF MY FAV "FUN" SONGS ON THIS LIST!! like i said,, these hot guys singing about a girl.. add in the fact that theyre singing about fucking her>>>>>

17 I Was Made For Lovin' You — YUNGBLUD OKAY. i have a good bit to say about this one bc i realize it's an interesting choice. i had the original by KISS on here at first, but the sound was a bit too classic rock compared to the rest of their stuff. this cover gives a bit more of a modern-alt-rock sound? i want to make known that i HATE the way "can't" in the first "i can't get enough of you baby" is sung, but it's only once. i also love the PICK UP IN TEMPO AAAAA its really good. let me walk you through the thought process. im seeing in concert we've got like.. a dark stage. a spotlight on rhys seated at a piano, singing into the mic. once he sings the first chorus, he stands, the lights come up, az tosses him his guitar, he catches it with one hand, throwing the strap over himself, the guitar spins around him and then rhys starts fuckin GOING AT IT. anyway..... yeah that's why i chose this cover instead of the original

18 You Give Love A Bad Name — Bon Jovi ik i said classic rock wasnt their sound but this one is just so good. i can see them giving this one a slightly more modern feel

19 Savior — Rise Against do me a favor. listen to this with headphones. start the song with just the right earbud in, then at the end of that intro verse, put the left one in so the guitar grows. those isolated vocals would be az. thank u.

20 Situations — Escape the Fate remember how 16 was one of my fav "fun" songs on the list? THIS is my fav one. its just so openly sexual, vey raunchy, they'd be very sexy singing this and the crowd would cream their pants

21 The Drug In Me Is You — Falling In Reverse this one's just as simple as great vocals, bitchin guitar, amazing drums

22 Paralyzer — Finger Eleven again, BITCHIN guitar

23 I Hate Everything About You — Three Days Grace the AGGRESSION!!!!! RAAAA!!!!!!! thats it, it's aggressive and they'd be hot playing this song

24 Covet — Basement another slower song, but i love it so i put it. duh. every album has one or two slower songs, this is one of them.

25 Zombie — Bad Wolves i absolutely LOVE this one. it has more of that rock feel for these guys than the original by the cranberries. thats why i chose this cover. i can see them head banging to this one

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

yall were interested so just gonna tag you here!! hope you enjoy :D @anarchiii @chairofchaos @blushingfawnsposts @mellowmusings @acoazlove

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[littleboneboyxd]

1 my bestie at the time :3

2 if i had to choose it would be konig ghost keegan or bandit

3 when i regress my voice gets smaller and my tounge feels weird making me talk different and i get a fuzzy feeling in my chest

4 a lot!!

5 i do not i prefer just using janator ai cuz it feels more interactive <3

6 uhmm idk my regression ages are 3-6 so probs daycare or preschool?

7 i have to little brothers but i regress because i lost my childhood helping my parents navigate their autisim

8 a bit of both i loved thrifting and acted older but talked like a baby a lot and sat in the car seat till i was 11

9 my first gear was a dollar store paci but i just bought an adult one so my teeth wont get damaged

10 my regression aesthetic is everywheree

11 a month or 2 my cg told me about tumblr <3 @aspenonpawzzz

12 currently bluey minecraft and fnaf :3

13 a bit of both i love watching shows i watched as a kid while also creating new memories with pubba!!

14 once at an event but i never saw them again :c

15 once on call with aspen :3

16 both sometimes i love horror and others i dont

17 when my adult paci get here imma try it cuz i really love chewin on stuff

18 i don know

19 not fully but im working up to it

20 mainly just the clash beetween kink and sfw

21 yess <3

22 im fictionkin for fluttershy and pinkie pie and i recall as pinkie being a baby regressor and a toddler regressor and applejack was my cg :3

23 im a trans boy regressor so yeah :3

24 puppy because i also pet regress X3

25 kinda :/

26 yep i regress 3-g and i love sippys and pacis and bottles

27 both im super imaginitave i just forgot how to play after a while :c

28 a polymorph so then i could transfor any part of my body at any time into whatever :3

29 give me my paci and call me a good boy

30 i daydream about sitting in their lap and getting snuggles <3

THIS TOOK SO LONGGG

🌙 Agere Ask Game!!! ⭐

🖍 Who is the first person you told/would tell about your headspace?

❤ If you had a fictional caregiver/little who would it be?

🩹 What do you experience when you regress? (i.e fuzzy feelings, motor skill or speech struggle, etc.)

🧡 How often do you regress or try to regress?

🍬 Do you read agere fanfiction and if so, about who?

💛 What school grade (if any) would you be in according to your headspace?

🧸 Are you an older sibling who regresses/caregives or a younger sibling who regresses/caregives?

💚 Were you considered an "old soul" growing up or were you more "childish"?

🧩 What was your first piece of agere gear or what would you want as your first?

💙 What's your regression/caregiving aesthetic? (kidcore, babycore, altcore, etc)

��� How long have you been apart of agere tumblr?

💜 What are you obsessed with right now in your headspace? (sanrio, sharks, bluey, etc)

🍼 Do you include your personal nostalgia in your regression/caregiving or are you creating new memories?

🖤 Have you met any other regressors/caregivers in real life?

🪀 Have you ever regressed in front of someone or has someone ever regressed around you?

🪁 Is your headspace affected more through traditional or alternative regression? (bottles & cartoons or horror & thrill)

🎨 What's a piece of agere gear that you really want to have/try?

🍬 Have you ever experienced vent regression?

🦋 Are you comfortable with your regression/headspace?

🧚‍♀️ What is age regression/caregiving to you?

🧦 What's something you like & don't like about the agere community?

🦇 Have you ever regressed in a dream?

🌸 Who do you headcanon as a regressor or caregiver? (fictional or real)

🐈‍⬛ Do you think you're represented enough in the agere community? (poc, boys, under 20/over 30 yrs)

🧃Which animal best represents your headspace?

🐇 Has it been or was it hard for you to find a little/caregiver?

🎀 Does your headspace match the gear you use/want? (i.e. regresses to 10 years but loves pacifiers)

🎮 Do you struggle to play pretend or are you super imaginative?

🌈 What mythical creature would you rather be? (Hybrid, Fairy, Dragon, etc)

👾 What's the quickest way to get you in your headspace?

💭 What's one thing you often daydream about doing with your little/caregiver?

[del-stars]

Omg your tag of Walburga dying thinking Sirius was a DE has me THINKING

Originally my plan was for her to die knowing Peter was the traitor and satisfied that her son has one final punishment for the rest of his life

But like ... why would she know? Would Tom have told her?

Walburga dying thinking Sirius was a DE and being extremely smug about how he was truly a Black at his core all along... how the people who took her son from her (she blames the Potters for Sirius escaping) are all wiped out except for a baby because of Sirius... interesting ...

this is something that keeps me awake at night like my god. walburga DIES thinking sirius is a DE. bc yeah i dont think she would've known that peter was the traitor. personally i dont hc her as very involved in the DE stuff (i think she would think that sort of thing is below her but that's another post) but even if she were i would imagine that peter's identity as the mole would be kept very secret. so the DEs generally would know that there is a mole but not necessarily who it is, and then walburga would naturally conclude that it's sirius after everything goes down.

i think outwardly she would be smug like yeah okay her heir really was a good little blood supremacist in the end so take that haters... but i actually think she would be devastated. she wouldve had verrry complex feelings abt sirius leaving home & to find out he ended up becoming a DE anyway ?? that he ended up murdering the family he left her for ?? that he killed james potter - the boy who sirius abandoned his entire family for ?????? and he ended up being a blood supremacist all along - the thing he despised them for ??? the thing he always hated walburga for being ??????? and REGULUS, the one who was meant to step up as heir, is the one who was (again, in her mind, not knowing the truth) a coward and a defector ???? oh i'd be crashing out bad if i were her. i think a lot about her roaming the halls of grimmauld in that in-between period, when orion and regulus are dead, thinking about her only remaining family member rotting in azkaban. her baby, her firstborn, locked away. she'd be struck with this sense of not having known sirius at all - he wasn't the rebellious teenager, apparently, he wasn't a muggle sympathizer, and he wasn't james potter's brother, in the end. and he didn't hate her, maybe. maybe he didn't hate her as much as she thought he did. and now he's locked up forever, and she'll never get the chance to ask him. so she lets herself waste away in that house, and sirius' trial is the last time anybody sees her alive.

[otterloreart]

I saw my mom for New Years and she gave me my Christmas present! It's a book of doll clothes!

Obviously it is not exactly for the dolls I make, since mine are pretty unique sizes, and it is mostly dresses, but it has some measurements and has a lot of discussions of how to size up and down and example patterns- and pretty pictures!

I love stuff like this, its similar to the Mott's Miniature Workshop Manual. I'm not so great when it comes to sewing- I can certainly try my best but I am not that consistent.

I really like having books to look at as opposed to trying to find out how to do things online. So many blogs are just ads and links for other sites, and while I understand people need to sell their patterns its very hard to find free ones to modify and I'm not experienced enough to feel confident in buying a pattern and sizing it up/down myself for my unique dolls!

Also there's just so much to sift through if you dont know wording, like I showed my mom this and explained I had struggled to figure out how to make it:

and she said "oh angel sleeves, maybe you can modify the pattern this way-" and talked about it and I was like thats what theyre called?! I just kept looking up "short sleeve frills" and stuff like that trying to figure it out. Sometimes it shows you the right thing and sometimes it does not. But if you look up "angel sleeve" its MUCH more consistently correct ;-;

So! I'll let you all know how that goes. My throat has been hurting today so i cant work on videos but idk what ill be up to art wise!

[kroovv]

previous anon here: dorian's predatory business practices are a lot like wattpad's if you know anything about that—they pocket a huge portion of the proceeds for every VN they publish and only give very few pennies to the actual authors, essentially using other people's work to line their own pockets, while pretending to provide a great platform for artists. Last I heard they also have terms that say whatever you upload to them becomes their property IP. it's the kind of situation where they convince artists its the easiest option for publishing a VN, when in reality there are other ways that are just as or even more simple that allow u to keep full ownership of ur work. I also have a grudge against them specifically because they bought up an indie VN studio that I was a fan of, put previously free stuff behind a paywall and otherwise ran it into the ground, and their social media people were very unprofessional and sent threatening messages to fans for making fan content.

Renpy takes some learning, but it's really simple once you know how it works. And besides renpy there are other VN engines that are even simpler (Unity even has a VN library called Fungus thats very simple and straightforward to use) TyranoBuilder is also a popular one. As for chapters, there are absolutely people on itchio updating their VNs a chapter at a time, although i dont know if its in the way youd want; pushing each separate chapters as updates to the main game, or releasing each chapter as a separate game come to mind as options.

(i'd honestly even offer to convert the game to renpy for you since ive been working extensively with renpy for the past 2 years and am very familiar with it and how to work it, if it meant i could save one artist from the clutches of dorian, but that feels too much like overstepping 😅)

So i am not sure if maybe they have changed things, but with games self published to them they own 0% of that IP so I will own Gravehearts 100% only if they where to buy it from me then they’d own it but i personally do not see that happening lmao. From what i understand about it is it is like Webtoons but for VNs anyone can upload to it but they still own it like how i still own Horizon Walkers even though it’s on Webtoons and Tapas. They do take a % of what you make so that is why I would love to also have my own app or game on itch as well!

I have a decent following for my artwork but who knows what that vendiagram is for people who like VNs is, so if i where to publish the game somewhere by itself i don’t know how well it would do because I don’t know if i have the audience for it, also i don’t know if people would even see it when i post about it cause social media sucks. So like posting HW to webtoons so that people who read comics might see it that’s what I am kind of hoping for with posting Gravehearts to Dorian.

Again with Gravehearts i own it 100%, with publishing games there you can chose when and where people pay for things, and people do paywall love interests and main story stuff but i fully do not intend to do that because it is ✨shitty✨. So I will not be putting any main story or love interests behind paywalls the only thing I would do as paid stuff are optional scenes with a character where you can get a nice full art piece of them from it! (Im also trying to figure out if i could put some kind of code on the image so people can download high res versions of it as phone wallpapers! So you’re actually paying for something more tangible)

However like i said previously i would love to make my own app for it, or something like an app or on itch, but i could maybe try do it in tangent with Dorian, so people who don’t want to support them can still support the story somewhere else! But it might take a little while for me to be able to do something like that because it’d be learning a whole bunch of new stuff and it is just me but I will do my best 👍

[thedisablednaturalist]

I dont know if it’s something youve been asked before, and i dont know how to really phrase my thoughts. But whats it like working in like environmental things well disabled? Have you met many, or any, other disabled people in the field? I’m 16, and ever since I was little I’ve had so much passion for environmental education in particular, and it was a field I wanted to go into for a long time. Sadly it seems like my body has other plans, I’m currently at a point where I might have to drop out of highschool because managing class and disability is too much, and so college feels impossible. And when it was mostly mental stuff I had thought about maybe joining americorps or something because it looked like they’ll take people with a ged and then I could still do work I care about, but I’ve only ever met one physically disabled person doing anything related to the environment and stuff (there’s a person with leg braces and a service dog who works at the local aquarium) so I never really get a chance to ask about this stuff

so idk, sorry if I’m rambling a lot and hard to understand. If it makes you feel any better I’ve cornered every environmental educator I’ve met the last year or so (and I go to a project based environmental charter school thing, so I meet a lot) and asked them a lot of questions too. Especially since my school encourages us to think about future careers and what skills we need

so idk, I want to know. What’s it like? Is it hard? What did you have to do to get the job you have now? Do you regret it, would you choose something different if you could go back? Do you have any advice?

I hope you’re having an ok day, and that I’m not too annoying, and thank you if you even took the time to read this far. -🌱

no no don't apologize, this is exactly what this blog is for. When I started my journey I couldn't find any outspoken disabled environmentalists or any resources for people like us. So I started this blog to compile resources and share what I've learned as my career has progressed. I want everyone regardless of physical or mental state to be able to pursue their passions in environmental science and conservation.

Honestly, this field has a long way to go still. Even big institutions like the Smithsonian haven't quite figured it out yet. But there is definitely a shift happening. I've been seeing so many more disabled young people interested in this field and its amazing. I saw another physically disabled student at the Smithsonian conservation biology institute when I visited as an alum a few weeks ago, and I believe I was one of if not the first person to attend as a wheelchair user (yeah they didn't know what to do with me 😮‍💨) I had a professor who directly singled me out for being a wheelchair user so you will unfortunately run into some bigots in this field.

However the federal government (im assuming you are in the US so apologies if you're not) especially during the Biden administration has been ramping up its hiring of Schedule A employees. Schedule A allows you to circumvent the competitive process through the WRP (workplace recruitment program) once you've graduated college (or GED). Schedule A can be provided by a doctor or disability counselor (My DARS office did mine, love DARS: it's free and every state has one). My manager is HOH as well as one of my new coworkers and I was of course recently hired by the EPA as well. The EPA is probably the most disability friendly place to work in our field, if not anywhere. It has its issues but I've been pretty much over-accommodated instead of under (sad I consider the minimum accommodations to feel excessive).

Here's some of the things I've learned so far:

1. My biggest advice to anyone your age wanting to get into this field is to volunteer volunteer volunteer!! You are most likely at a time where you can afford to work for free. Most environmental internships are unpaid unless you have prior experience with the organization. Try out a bunch of different experiences to find out what you like the most. I never would have thought I'd be a bug person until I did my first invertebrate stream assessment. I got into environmental science late in my college career so it took me a lot longer to figure out what I wanted to do. Get as much experience as you can while you are still supported by your parents and don't have to worry about things like rent or bills. Some organizations are trying to change this so people from lower incomes can still have the same opportunities, but it still has a ways to go. Notably zookeepers have to work either for free or for dirt cheap for a couple years before they get hired full time.

2. Be prepared to lose out on your dream job due to your disability(s). I'm going to be frank and not spout any of that "you can do anything you put your mind to" bullshit. Yes, most things CAN be done by anyone with the right accommodations, but in a field where a large percentage of the work is done physically, you will be unable to do some types of jobs. I'm not saying it's impossible to get your dream job with disabilities, but it's a very common experience for us. For example, I looked into working on a boat. In a perfect world, I'd be given limitless accommodations and time to rest but on a boat that is extremely difficult. You can't take sick days whenever you need them. This was the same thing I had to realize when I was offered my dream job in my dream location: A stream specialist field technician for the USGS in Portland Oregon. I absolutely loved working in the field, and yes there are many of us who do/did fieldwork using mobility aids. I miss fieldwork everyday. But I had to turn it down. I knew deep down I couldn't handle it, having scheduled in advance field excursions that I couldn't postpone, having to hike in difficult terrain in remote locations, even moving across the entire country, at least at the time, was improbable. I was barely holding on at my field job where I did have safety nets. I just couldn't justify the financial and physical strain as well as the risk if I wasn't able to do the job and became unemployed. It broke my heart to give it up and I'm still grieving. But I do enjoy my current job and it lets me prioritize my health. No longer do I just work and sleep because work would take up all my spoons. I've been drawing and gaming and spending more time with loved ones. It is an unfortunate fact of life that sometimes what we want isn't what we need. Being disabled means that sometimes we have to make hard decisions that abled people don't ever have to think about. It's part of the grieving process for those of us who were abled at some point. I can't speak on what it's like for those with lifelong disabilities from birth, but I know its hard for them too.

3. Ok yeah 2 was a huge bummer, but here's where it gets better: When one door with stairs closes, a door with a ramp opens. There will be other opportunities. This field isn't just fieldwork despite what most people think. You don't have to be a super strong ranger that can hike 20 miles in a day without breaking a sweat to do environmental work. The field needs people who take what the guys outside collect and analyze it, research it, visualize it, present on it, take care of it, write about it, archive it, make art of it, etc etc etc. There are so many organizations that need people who can do data analysis and administration. Working at a desk doesn't make you less of an environmentalist. Plus that's not all, you can work in a lab or work with smaller creatures like bugs or herps or fish or you could do botany or geology! You don't need to be able to go out and get them yourself to work with them. Being able to save energy during my workday allows me to pursue my passions like collecting bugs and swimming. I can volunteer with citizen science projects or conservation orgs and still do fieldwork, but because its not a job I can do it when I feel up to it, I don't have to push myself to keep going because I'm worried about being fired. I currently work as a data analyst for the EPA and I work mostly from home so I can do my work without suffering. Yea data analysis isn't my favorite thing in the world but your job doesn't have to be. Sometimes a job is something that makes you money so you can do your passions outside of it. But I am happy the work I do supports something I am passionate about (supporting states so they can clean up more sites and thus have cleaner water).

4. You'll have to learn how to advocate for yourself. Push against boundaries. Explore your options. Especially with doctors. You know yourself best, don't let anyone else define your boundaries for you, even me. If someone says you can't do something because of your disability, but you know that you actually can, tell them and be assertive about it. Many of us are seen as abrasive and rude, but to be a disabled person in a very abled centered world you gotta be. Don't let anyone hold you back because THEY feel uncomfortable. My coworkers at my old job were worried for me when I showed up to work with my crutches for the first time. But it actually made me BETTER at stream assessments (having four legs means you don't slip as much). I could do it even if I needed to take breaks and use mobility aids. Nowadays it's too much for me to be doing that but at the time it was within my limits. And sometimes, you'll overestimate yourself and end up flaring or hurting yourself. It's okay to make mistakes, it doesn't make you a bad person. At first you'll push through too much but as you learn your body's limits you'll get better at managing your disability. And sometimes a great memory is worth a week-long flare up. Its for YOU to decide what you can do.

That's all I can think of for now, I should probably get ready for bed soon. But just remember, there are more of us than they think and we can be capable, productive, and a benefit to the environmental movement no matter our ability or skills.

If you have anymore specific questions, or just need to talk, I'm always available (even if I might take a while to reply).

[kingprinceleo]

How are your sonic’s spending this Christmas? Your Shadow’s ?

uwahhhh sorry im late on this, things got busy !

1000YB shadow is sad and alone and a loser and probably hanging out with an old picture of sonic. probably being an extra strong workaholic ( sonic is big chilling in the afterlife) silly holiday piece Cat made with peepaw HERE

Happy auau- the gang is probably hanging out together ! doing festive little stuff and watching movies n playing games ,, sonic being the king probably dressing up as santa, they tried to get shadow to dress up but he chaos evaporated the costume before they could finish talking. but he is wearing smth wintery but not costumey (ough these are 2 years old please pardon them they never got finished vvv) if its cold enough shadow will also have his winter fur fdhghjg

Fire n water au- Sonic would be spending christmas at the castle with his family but, during the main plot, hes probably learning about the meaning of friends and family over big extravagant castle parties. Tails probably tries his best to make or find something for sonic, sonic may be a bit silly and spend a lot of their small amount of money on something cool for tails, and have consequences after. Blaze is being very normal about spending her first christmas alone with recently deceased parents and her missing brother ! Shadow is big chilling on the ocean floor. might eat a whale later if hes feeling festive

Desert vampires- i dont think they have christmas </3

Vampire au- i have a bunch for this ough. ...

Sonics festive but not as festive as amy is ! he has to help her decorate the house from top to bottom every season, and she'll likely move the house into ice cap zone to maximize the vibes

otherwise i think sonic just hangs out, admiring the island, running around, seeing lights n stuff, leaving little mysterious gifts around for his friends

Shadow doesnt do much ! hell stand in the snow and stare at the horizon, rouge will drag him christmas shopping (for herself HDJHFG) , probably drag him to a couple christmas parties he doesnt want to be at . and they probably steal from Geralds supply bays for funsies

i think when theyre older things are mostly the same ! sonic will usually split off to go hang out with his friends (now including rouge and knuckles) and he may be away to go down to the mainland to visit others amy inflicted him with the itch to decorate though, its deeply wrong to him to see shadows apartment look all lifeless and sad, shadow will sometimes just Wake Up to the house being almost fully decorated (shadow doesnt even know where he was hiding all this shit before)

i think sonics been able to get shadow to stay for a christmas party a couple times ! but never for long or without him finding some kind of corner to lurk in away from everybody,,, i have a tiny fic wip about one of them ough . its too rough to post any part of it </33

i dont think they really have any kind of christmas traditions they do, every year could be something different. And for gift giving, i think sonic does the same with leaving gifts around the house to find, surprises for shadow. shadows very direct though, always asking upfront whether sonic wants certain things or not uwah i think theyre silly,,, hope . htis is an adequate enough response LOL

[halitis]

Any thoughts on Roy and Hal?

How they would interact with eachother in Roy's Speedy era?

Hal becoming Roys 2nd Parent?

DO I HAVE THOUGHTS

BOY OH BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS. ALWAYS. my two faves :DDD

hal is really quite good with kids! probably one of the best in the league i'd argue. it's because he treats them like independent people with thoughts and feelings. while roy loved that at first, it ended up causing some light strife between the two when ollie started going off travelling. because he HAD enough independence, he didn't want more. he wanted someone there.

while hal and roy are close now, they weren't really close before the events of 'snowbirds dont fly'. hal thought roy was a good kid, with a lot of love in his heart (although, sure a bit rebellious but thats to be expected). hal helping roy out like that, helping to save his life, it really put a foothold into their relationship. hal started to realise what roy needed, was different to what he himself needed as a kid and adjusts accordingly. roy loves it and that hal is willing to put in the work for him.

i, personally, don't see hal as roy's parent. i don't think roy needs or wants another parent, he had brave bow and he has ollie and dinah. that isn't to say they aren't family! i just don't think they have a strict label on what they are to each other, they are just family. if anything though, i'd label them either as cousins or hal as his uncle. (this isn't to say i am judging or whatever if you view hal as roy's father! i do incredibly understand why and i do see the potential).

[continued under the read more]

they Bicker a LOT... but it is how roy shows love. hal was concerned at first because during his speedy era, sure roy would tease but he would never argue with him. it took a bit to realise "oh he's just growing up" (hal went through a brief crisis over that one). now you can find them having pedantic arguments over nothing, and if someone interrupts or tries to stop them; they are just like "???? we weren't fighting ????"

hal and roy ended up bonding over sports, hal would take him out to baseball games because it was An Iconic Part of American Culture and he cannot BELIEVE ollie deprived his son of this (roy could not have given less of a fuck), but he ended up getting really into it. to this day they will call each other just to talk about the teams on for each season. sometimes they will go months without talking, only to message out of the blue going "did you SEE that angels game. what the fuck was that!!?"

hal helped out with lian a bit when she was a baby, he's used to dealing with kids and would babysit her when roy just needed a break. now however, lian doesn't really know him that much. roy wants to try and keep her life as stable as possible and hal isn't around enough for roy to trust him to stay a presence... hal adores lian though, roy will silently send through photos and videos and what not and hal will always compliment her. it's so tragic, and hal really hates it but at the same time he does understand. he would probably do the same in roy's position afterall.

roy looked up to hal so much as a speedy, like that is his dad's cool best friend who has seen SPACE and his entire thing is being FEARLESS omg omg. cue hal being smug about this to ollie, that his son thinks hal is cooler than him. ollie is quick to disabuse this notion to roy, with many mortifying videos of the green lantern. roy never looks at hal the same way again.

hal and roy bond over their complicated relationships with carol and jade, it's a lot of sighing and gossiping. it's not a competition, but roy somehow always wins (hal takes a guilty joy in thinking 'at least i'm not roy'). i think they should get to have a girls night. as a treat. let them do each others hair and watch movies and gossip about girls!

i had more to say abt them, but it's 3am and i am so Bone Tired..... hope this fits what u were looking for op! thanks for the ask MWAAAH!

[qoldenskies]

i’ve circled around the idea of writing leo’s birthday (the one where donnie’s.. You Know) but i haven’t sat down and done it (yet). BUT it’s given me a terrible cc!mikey hc that i’m not sure is in character but i’m inflicting it on you anyway <3

so mikey has a corkboard of photos on his wall, mostly him with his brothers/april/splinter. when he gets cursed it starts to look off in a way he can’t place, like, uncomfortably off. eventually he realizes the problem and starts cutting donnie out of photos. :)

he’s embarrassed by how much it helps because it’s kind of a childish/cartoonishly rude thing to do but he reasons that it’s *his* room and his decorations shouldn’t make him feel bad when he sees them. also, it’s, like, artistic expression. so he’s entirely justified actually! anyway donnie can be cut pretty easily out of most of the group photos (smiles calmly) but the ones that can’t be saved get shoved into a drawer somewhere

and then he covers the new empty space with people he actually cares about and when the curse breaks he forgets about it for weeks because he has way worse things to feel guilty about until one day he looks at it too closely and is like. Hey. What The Fuck.

NO ACTUALLY THIS FITS INTO THE UNIVERSE REALLY WELL,,, like mikey's attention towards donnie really only extends to when it finds it fun to hurt him, when there's a practical joke to play (and honestly its probably a huge reason he was SO vicious in that one scene where he actually hit him. it was a very final and firm fuck off i dont want you around me, and donnie got the message and didnt go back to the kitchen even ONCE afterwards) but when it comes to his behavior in private i think coming up with an excuse like that to justify his own behavior would make complete sense

like. mikey pathologizing and saying something like that to himself because he's still resistant to the idea of being TOO mean and unnecessarily cruel, especially at first, and then in retrospect realize it was his way of enabling himself with this shitty "oh its just self-care he doesnt need to know ^-^" excuse ,,, little things like that just worsen how terrible he gets later on, because the more excuses he makes for himself, the more normal it gets for him to be cruel upfront.

and christ like the little ways they made donnie feel excluded coming back to haunt them like that. even if donnie never SAW IT it would cause this horror in mikey because he didn't even think about it. so much of the small shit they dont really have a REASON to dwell on. so much fucking happened in those three months and its traumatic for them too, their brains are on the big stuff. like the closet, the family meeting, the physical abuse, the starving him and screaming at him, things like that. its why they dont understand the weight of the gaslighting until it comes back to bite them; they understood it worked, but there was a small childish part of them that just kind of assumed donnie would already KNOW they were lying and he wouldnt completely lose trust in himself like that lolol

i think especially post-cw they're going to be thinking about this a lot, how much little shit they skimmed over now that all the big shit's immediately addressed. the tree remembers but the axe forgets and etc; donnie's memory is shaky, but the effects of it are visible if you know what you're looking for. they feel both the need to address and apologize for everything, even things donnie didn't know about, and the need to micromanage themselves out of fear of doing something like that again. (especially once they learn about the uhhh spreadsheet that dates back to before all of this happened, that's soon)

ALSO I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THE LEO'S BIRTHDAY THING OMG THAT'S SO EVIL ..... a pov from one of the cursed bros is just an inherently interesting thing to explore i think

[riverashifts]

I know you are probably focused on Siwan but how did you and Jay come together?? Yes, I'm asking for both y'all's love.story cause you both seem iconic-

EEEEEE i LOVE talking about jay and i's story so this is gonna be a LONG one

okay so . it all starts when we first meet in i-land—mind you iland works a little differently in my dr but it doesn't affect our story that much. i'm known as the "monster trainee" because i would always dominate monthly evaluations — and now, since the female and male trainees aren't evaluated together, jay (and the others) didn't really know what to expect. so when i absolutely blow everyone away with my entrance performance (i still haven't decided what it'll be cause im indecisive..) jay gets a little intimidated

meanwhile,,,, he and sunghoon perform the seventh sense and im like ???? oh so this is what they're bringing to the table. and i am ALSO intimidated but mostly because i have Issues and compare myself even more to the guys cause . yeah Why Wasn't I Born A Boy — oh i did not mean to get into That right now but anyways

so we're two people who are intimidated by each other and incredibly stubborn so that evolves into us hating each other for no legitimate reason lmao😭😭 and this goes on during the entirety of part one of iland like we CANT STANDDDD each other, we always argue about the dumbest things and even have to be seperated

and then we're selected to move onto the second part of iland alongside the six other selected members, so now we know there's a high chance we debut together and we DONT want to mess up our own chances, so we try to be civil.

for the first test in part two guess what... we get paired to do a duo performance of on by bts 😐 amazing song! less favourable partner.

but we get through it and kinda distantly realize that "hey the other isn't so bad" but yes again we are Stubborn and won't actually reconcile like normal human beings, so we kind of start ignoring each other from that point forward

UNTIL. at the end of the third performance jay got a lot of criticism so he was scared of being eliminated and taken out of the group. so, he wrote all those letters. and when i saw he was giving people letters, i didn't actually expect him to give me one, but he did.

i decided to read it while i was alone in the kitchen while everyone was asleep, and erm i started crying lol! cause jay apologized for how rude he was and all his bad behaviours and ended it with "in another life, i hope we can start over and be friends" and what do you know jay walks in while im crying into his letter...

so then we spend the rest of the night (we have a day off the next day) basically just talking and getting to know each other, properly "restarting" our relationship—and we realize we actually get along quite well when we're not off in our own worlds of assumptions

fast forward we end up debuting together and everything is fine and wonderful until i'm like Oh. i Like him which is fine and wtv cause i scripted i don't get awkward 🥸 (i realize my feelings in like january-february 2021)

then in the summer of 2021 during one of enhypen's breaks, jay and i are the only ones who stay at the dorm (a week long break) (no that's not how breaks work in this reality but i DONT CARE)

anyway we don't really interact much cause we're relaxing and wtv but then he asks if i want to order food with him, and how can i say no to free food??? so we end up eating together and then watching a movie and then Wabam something in the air happens that we kiss 😱😱

but then right as we pull apart jake comes back to the dorm 😒 so we don't really talk about it and just go to bed

and then the next day i spend it at the studio cause im Awkward and can't face jay after That but he ends up coming to my studio and we actually just work on music basically all day (we write young (og cix) which will feature on the dimension : answer album)

after we finish the song (the demo) jay kinda just goes "so... we Kissed ." and that kinda starts a conversation which leads to him confessing and then i confess to him and Yeah 😁

sorry this is so long LMAO i hope the explanation was clear cause i kinda just ranted without plans

[anzynai]

Nothing Special

Scaramouche & Lumine (Genshin)

a/n: first fic of the year so i couldnt start it off with just anything. happy birthday scara!!! ur like my second favorite character and i surprisingly havent written for you that much (i know right?? 💔💔) anyways, he might be ooc since i dont write for him a lot but i hope its not too bad. disregard any typos you might see as well. someone needs to tickle him BAD. this was supposed to be posted later today but im impatient so youre welcome i guess. ANYWAYYYY i hope u guys enjoy <33333

summary: it’s scara’s birthday. tickles ensue.

wordcount: 1.5k

——

Scaramouche’s birthday had never been anything special to him. It was nothing but another day of the year. He couldn’t count how many of them he spent crying or alone. Or both.

Eventually, he became used to being alone. Instead of feeling sad or upset, he felt nothing.

He sat against the tree, reading a book he had gotten from the library at the Akademiya. He was barely a quarter in when a small bird flew atop of it, lightly pecking at his finger.

He stopped. Blinked.

“..Hello,” He muttered. The bird looked at him, chirping in response.

It hopped from the book to his wrist, its wings fluttering as it continued up his arm. Scara almost couldn’t help the smile that found its way onto his face as the bird finally perched on his shoulder, leaning against his neck.

“I suppose you can stay here. As long as you let me finish reading this,” He said to the bird. Again, another chirp, as if it actually understood.

He looked back at his book, only getting about two words in when..

“Oh, there you are!” He heard a voice calling out to him. As he was in the middle of nowhere, it was likely him who was being called. He looked to his right and lo and behold, it was the traveler walking towards him with a blue and green decorative box in her hands.

“..Hi,” Scara, the man of many words, said.

“Hi,” Lumine giggled, her expression bright as she walked up to the other. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Oh, then you must have really needed me,” Scara replied.

Without saying anything, Lumine handed him the box in her hands. It didn’t take a genius to assume what it was. “A gift?”

“Happy birthday, Scara!” Lumine exclaimed, clapping along to her words.

Scara ignored the flutter in his chest, heart warmed by the gesture, but he kept his face straight and controlled. Sometimes, he felt as though the traveller could tell what he was feeling because she tended to notice even the smallest cues.

Instead of focusing on that, he focused on pulling the ribbon from the gift, pulling open the box.

From inside it, he pulled out a small bag of the only candy he really had ever liked. Taking a curious glance at Lumine, he could notice how it looked like it pained even her to give him black licorice. For the sake of his birthday, she stayed silent. It was an amusing sight, perhaps even better than the candy itself, Scara thought to himself.

Inside, there was also a small stuffed doll that resembled him too much to be a coincidence. “Is this.. me?”

“Yeah, it was custom-made by me and a few others. What do you think?”

He got the urge to feel for the other doll he has in his pocket, so he does. He took it out, comparing the two.

“Now your doll has a playmate,” Lumine giggled to herself. It sounds childish, like being gifted a doll.

And yet, he found he liked it quite a bit. His lip quirked up just slightly, but Lumine caught the action anyway, if the gleam in her eyes had anything to say.

As if it was excited, the bird chirped gleefully in his ear, nuzzling and poking at his neck. “H-heheey! You stop that,” Scara gasped, scrunching his neck.

“You’re ticklish?” Lumine asked, cupping her hands over her mouth and suddenly, he felt a bit embarrassed.

“…Not at all,” He answered, lying.

“Really?” She tilted her head, staying silent for a moment that lingered too long to be anything but suspicious. Then a second later, she had this scary looking smirk that Scara found he didn’t particularly know where this was going. “So you won’t laugh or anything if I do this?”

The ‘this’ in question was Lumine quickly reaching out to grab his sides before he could stop her, squeezing gently. He flinched, unprepared and a blush arose on his pale skin.

“Lumine—“

“Ah, you lied,” Lumine tutted. “Birthday or not, don’t you think you deserve some form of punishment?”

Where was the almost too kind Lumine and who replaced her?

“Don’t you d-AHAHARE— stohop!” Scara felt his sides being kneading into some more, sensitive tingles spreading throughout his body unbearably. It was a feeling that was once foreign to him, but has since found himself quite found in these past months since meeting Nahida and a few others who insisted on bothering him each time they crossed paths. He hated to say that even then, he quite enjoyed their presence. He never realized how nice it was not being alone.

“You’re so cute! Who’d have thought you’d be so ticklish?” Lumine cooed, in a way where he couldn’t tell if she was teasing or didn’t realize the effect of her words. Her quick and nimble fingers found his ribs, lightly grazing and tracing over each rib. Like a piano, his laughter rose the higher she got. The bird, seemingly encouraged, began pecking gently against his neck again, causing him to scrunch up more, bringing his knees up to himself.

He felt the urge to kick out, but resisted with all his might, not particularly wanting to hurt Lumine or the bird.

“S-stohohop thihihis..!” He sputtered, trying to bite his lip to conceal his laughter, which apparently had the success rate of 0% if the fact that there was still laughter pouring from his lips was anything to go by.

“Should I give you some mercy for your birthday?”

“Luhuhumine! Y-you…!” Scara could barely say anything when she started digging into his underarms, a spot that he hadn’t known was so sensitive until recently.

“Yes? No? I need an answer,” Lumine sighed, slowly and dramatic. Scara wanted to roll his eyes, but he was a bit too distracted to pull off the action effectively.

He curled in on himself, his arms clamped to his sides, but Lumine was always stronger than she appeared, able to tickle him anyway. He felt much weaker by the tickling, which he was sure also helped give her the advantage.

“O-ohohokay, yehehes! Nohoho mohohore!” Scara shouted, at last, feeling overwhelmed by the ticklish sensations. Lumine relented, giggling proudly at herself. The bird continued pecking softly at his neck for a few more seconds, residual giggles falling from the wanderer’s lips. Eventually, it hopped onto his cupped hands.

“That was fun,” She admitted. “I don’t get to tickle people often, but I like making them laugh,” She added, with a sort-of melancholic look in her eye. Scara didn’t ask, getting the sense that she didn’t want to talk about it.

“For you, maybe,” He replied, to keep up appearances, but a part of him was already craving more.

“Now come on,” She stood, holding out her hand for him to grab. “Let’s go.”

“Go?” He asked, because he didn’t realize he was supposed to be anywhere.

“I’m not letting you spend your birthday alone—“ The bird chirped at that. “Okay, mostly alone, with your nose in a book. I’m taking you out to eat. My treat.” She insisted, flexing her fingers to urge him to grab her hand. This time, he took it.

He walked with her to a restaurant that he had always seen, but had always walked past. The second the doors opened, he squinted his eyes at the darkness.

“Are you sure this place is—“

“Surprise!” Multiple voices shouted out at once and the light flickered on. Confetti shot into the air, popping loudly.

Adjusting to the light, he saw that there were more people than he thought, all of them which he recognized as people he had, “against his will” he often claimed, became quite acquainted with.

Sethos. Nahida. Paimon. Tighnari and Cyno, as well as Kaveh and Alhaitham, the two pairs seemingly a package deal at gatherings like this. There was also Nilou and Collei. Even though he would never admit it, he had grew quite fond of each of them, getting along with him much better than he thought he was capable of.

“Happy birthday!” each of them congratulated him, and he mumbled his thanks in a bit of a daze. The tips of his ears were hot and no matter what he did, he couldn’t stop it.

“How are you feeling?” Lumine smiled next to him, as everyone chatted with one another. He heard Kaveh and Alhaitham bickering with each other as Nilou giggled at the sight. Collei and Sethos seemed to be engaged in conversation as well and Tighnari seemed to be miserable as Cyno tried to tell everyone bad joke after bad joke.

He grumbled. “There’s quite a bit of people here,” He replied. Lumine turned to look at him. “But I guess company like this isn’t so bad once in a while. So.. thank you.” He admitted, feeling himself turn a way, feeling a bit flustered as he fidgeted with his doll in his pocket.

Lumine chuckled beside him.

Thank you. He thought to himself. Maybe my birthday can be something special if I get to spend it with all of you.