#i have a lot of feelings about this and i dont really know how to verbalise them

[thecephalopodagency]

i agree 100% but you also reminded me (and now i have to tell you cause my boyfriend doesnt know what the dead dove dont eat style of fanfiction is and i feel like he would hate any form of it cause he's a little marshmallow inside and i cant tell him this stuff cause i dont wanna make him sad) of that power ranger fic from a millenia ago where the pink ranger was kidnapped and tortured to death on live broadcast to her teammates so they all watched her be raped and tortured for hours while the punishment just got worse and more outlandish to the point theres no way she would still be alive and conscious and id thought id forgotten that but the memories i have from when i was unsupervised on the internet in 8th grade cause i was in online school and realized they couldnt actually enforce the 'only use this computer for school' rule and i discovered Smut™ were never forgotten, just locked away in a corner of my brain, and they have breached containment

i feel like if the ranger was male it would have a very different reaction in the comments on that fic, instead of people mostly being disgusted, there would probably be a good amount of people loving it. ive read comments on a lot of fics where characters are tortured in any way and i see that reflected in the comments on those as well. of course there will be positive comments as well, and i dont feel like this applies as heavily to ao3 as it does ff.net, or at least thats my experience with it since i used ff.net long before i discovered ao3 after discovered the dragon age kink meme on livejournal

despite the amount of these fics ive read over the past 16ish years, i can think of only a few where similar awful things happen to men or women specifically, one was just. a very bizzare concept, one was very well written, two were part of a series i enjoyed, and one was the first time i learned about tentacle porn from a hetalia fic among few others, but there is one fic that lives rent free in my brain but takes occasional vacations and comes back home every now and then; it's a kingdom hearts fic called blood game and you can still find on ff.net actually

i really enjoyed how the author did horrible things to everyone equally and i reread it on occasion and i think thats probably where my fascination with body horror started

i can recall the whole fic in rough chronological order in my head at will, ive condidered possible fanfics of a fanfic that probably hasn't had a new reader in months, if even that, and had one (1) cosplay video where a vexen and marluxia cosplayer were joking about it on the drive to their convention a thousand years ago

i downloaded this fic just to have it back during one of the smut purges when i feared it would be lost forever, but it seems like it will survive until the very end of ff.net when it finally implodes and deleted itself from the internet

anyways, media and fanfic alike are more memorable and interesting when everyone suffers equally

There's something extremely depressing to me about how many people just don't want to get weird with female characters the way they do with male characters.

Like, I can kind of see why a lot of people feel weird about writing about bad things happening to female characters, but what it leads to is everyone putting female characters up on a shelf where you can admire them but you can't actually do anything interesting with them because that might be sexist or just make people feel bad. And I think that's actually a whole lot worse in the long run.

[quesocheeso]

You know I was looking back through some posts (cuz im obsessed with this au dw about it) and I was just thinking. Macaque is laughing here but I just know that man was dying a little inside thinking Wukong was actually MKs father and had gotten with someone else.

Like I imagine he's thinking smth like "well MK is older than our oldest kid so even if MK is part human then he was still probably born before Xiaoxing so ig I dont really have room to actually say shit but DAMN-" (which is ignoring all lot of other details and contradictions that kinda get in the way of this assumption but who can blame Mac for that tbh)

But yea. I dont believe his silly ass smirk here /lh. I know what you are Macaque and that is a fucking simp.

DUDE OHHHH I was thinking this morning about how everyone, me, forgot about this whole arc and I was just thinking what to add to this, but definitely Macaque was shriveling inside with jealousy and feelings of betrayal

Like he’s trying to act chill, because they’re in a situationship for their kids, but goddamn if he isn’t in love with this dumb idiot, and the thought that during all of these centuries of them raising their kids and sharing a bed, that Wukong could have been gallivanting around with other partners makes his blood boil and insecure about his worth

And Wukong is just oblivious because mans has done nothing wrong😭😭😭😭 and when he realizes how Mac feels he just assures that no he hasn’t had any other kids, and quietly admits how he can’t really see himself having kids with anyone else

(Feels like I made it canon early on how insecure Wukong felt about being a dad, like raising monkeys in his troop is easy peasy, but raising his own baby? Nuh-uh, he probably never thought he’d have his own kids ever)

[amurotoorudesu]

"fuck, its almost reset time and i havent logged in to the game!"

after rushing to your dorm, you quickly turn on your phone and immediataly launch the game.

you havent been able to play the game because your college assignment and schedule were really messed up. even in this week, you almost forgot to logged in for like 5 days so you always ended up staying up so late to catch up with lots of things. also youve been grinding for the new spring banner.

you lay down on top of the bed, waiting for the loading and "connecting to the server" screen. after a while rafayel shows up, head down on the table in destify cafe and you ignored him as you open your agenda and began the grinding session.

unbeknownstly for you, rafayel hears the bell clinking when he almost dozed off, tired of waiting for you to visit him, then you dare to come when its so late and you ignore him and you just left him after he waits for an entire day?? you know he hates waiting and you know you made a promise to not made him waiting right?? why dont you keep it...??

he begrudgingly woke up and lean his back on the sofa, arms crossed and irritated, waiting for you to finish your work. after claiming all the rewards, you go back to destiny cafe to interact with your favorite fish but a loud glitched voice caught you off guard.

BZZZT!!!

"what are you doing at this time? you know its late, right? why do you visit me at this time??"

forehead crinkled, feeling frighten with the sudden voiceline as if rafayel can see you.

"what the fuck? is this some kind of new glitch?"

"glitch, huh? funny if you think that. of course its not and i can act like this because im mad at you, silly! now i suggest you to go and sleep, you still have some classes tomorrow and im tired of listening you rambling about how you accidentaly sleep in the class and get scolded all because you stay up so late to meet me. so you better get some rest while listening to my angelic... no, siren? but its more scary... uhm, so you better get rest while listening to my angelic voice!"

eyebrows furrowed, forehead still crinkles and your mouth slightly opened because you dont understand what the fuck happened to the game.

"hey, come on! dont looked at me with those stupid face! you looked like dumb fish!" rafayel pouts and crossed his arms, averting his gaze from you.

but then he realized, "owh wait... im the fish here..."

you dont know whether you should laugh or scared but you accidentally let out a mumbled chuckle.

"hey come on, dont laugh at me now! you should sleep and im leaving, buh byee"

rafayel forcefully closed the game and you just lay there, staring at your phone like it just murdered your whole family before lots of notifs come.

"Love&deepspace

Rafayel:

go to sleep now.

and dont forget to dream about me, miss bodyguard.

but i'll put an alarm so you didnt go late to the class.

you better say thanks.

goodnight [real name] [real last name].

:)

also

Forget our promise? I'll remind you in person.

wait for me."

you still stare at your phone but you feel more terrified.

how the fuck did he know your real name.

you entered a different name in the game.

___________________________________________

a/n : chat did i cooked

also its for u guys who voted for the fic to be uploaded now, so now the raf's vote wont get counted on the poll!!

also im sorry for those who ask for part 2 in sylus's one, i dont have the idea abt what happened next but if you have one, my askbox are open!

[arottenlust]

cuz im pretty when i cry (the inspiration)

everything started with that edit. i don’t know what it was, but something about it was hard to look away from. ive rewatched it like a hundred times at this point. the song and the smile on his face inspired the first iteration of this story.

spoilers for the series below (kind of? It kinda fucks w the immersion i think. Idk its spoilerish to me)

one where youre desperate for any crumb of his affection, desperate to have your affections returned, and sukuna is willing and happy to enable your sickness. it grew from there to it instead being a misunderstanding of sorts- sukuna is showing his love and dedication the only way he knows how, with action instead of words. you, used to the very hot and cold and emotionally abusive environment you grew up in, don’t know how to pick up on this. it leads to you slowly falling apart more and more, miserably obsessed with keeping your place beside him, lashing out at any perceived obstacles, despite the fact that sukuna never planned to leave, would never want to. And, blinded by your seemingly easygoing nature and the fact that he quite enjoys your increasingly psychotic behavior, knowing that it stems from your love for him, sukuna doesn’t notice anything is amiss until the cracks begin to splinter and break you apart.

I didn’t plan to make you yandere esque, but it seems that the more twisted parts of me leaked into the story. Oops?

im not sure about including smut. I think i might but im still on the fence about that one…. I probably will tho

it has a happy ending. I didn’t want to give it one, I wanted it to just be a sad, horrifically desperate, story, but this route seemed a little more interesting to write. I think I’ll probably write a different version in the future, one where sukuna really doesn’t care.

the relationship is unhealthy in the sense that a well adjusted person wouldn’t frame their entire life around another person the way you do in this story. i.e youre a yandere. in your head, sukuna could keep you locked up and treat you like his dog-servant-thing, and you’d be happy because you’d be the sole object of his attention. (While u may be unaware) He feels the same in reverse, and he wouldn’t do that anyways, because he’s obsessed and he values you more than you value yourself. That’s why it’s unhealthy. And also because you tweak out if he talks to other people at all with anything on his face other than complete and utter indifference…. but hey! You’re working on it. Basically, It’s written um, romantically? Not super heart breaking and depressing. just putting that out there because I get really unbearable hurt when i read unhealthy -> very sad fics instead of unhealthy -> very in love and reciprocated fics

dykwim?

ugh. I’ll need to write a prequel or something. I want you all to see the way you go from normal and unattached to fighting the urge to stick cameras in his room and huff his underwear. You’re so weird. Stop fantasizing about killing the people he talks to, they dont even exist!

i originally planned to make it as gender neutral as i could but a lot of the scenarios don’t make sense if youre not fem, so that’s that. if that changes throughout the course of writing out the series, i shall let you all know.

also. should i make a playlist?

[creacherkeeper]

i think part of the problem is many american colleges (the only experience i can speak to) got rid of admissions essays as well as the need for standarized testing scores after covid, plus in a few years there will be a steep drop off of 18 year olds in america, which means colleges are scrambling to recruit as many students as possible so they can maintain their student population in a few years when incoming freshman aged students plummet. finally, gen ai started getting better right as students who were in high school for the first years of covid were entering college, when high school educations were lacking to nonexistent

all of that together means, unfortunately, the gen ai is producing much better work than most of my students. about half of my freshman have never written an essay in their lives and cant produce a coherent paragraph without hand holding. the department encourages us to grade based on completion of work rather than skill (with the unspoken understanding that the majority of our students would not pass this mandatory class otherwise). a lot of my students, even when shown how to properly cite something and even with tools and resources available, still "cite" things by just putting some urls in a list

ive taught first year composition, advanced composition, and also tutored in the writing center the last two years and ... its genuinely dire. i had more writing experience and was producing better work in high school than my advanced composition students (20-21 year old english majors) are now

its already pretty well known in educational psychology that american colleges dont produce informed students or ready workers. graduate schools and employers have to spend a lot of time and resources retraining and reteaching american college students because they dont leave undergrad prepared in any way

and with the aformentioned problems, a lot of universities have kind of given up the gimmick that theyre selective and rigorous and are really just chasing money wherever they can. accept as many students as possible no matter how unprepared for higher ed they are and then keep passing them along and retaining them for as many credit hours as possible to keep getting money

so, all that is to say, college instructors and what youre assuming are our bad assignments and poor standards are so far down the ladder when it comes to the problems with the quality of college writing right now. like, sure, there are plenty of bad teachers out there, at every level. thats a known problem. although, most college comp instructors are wildly underpaid and undertrained graduate students. you can blame us if you like but that hardly feels like punching up. if you'd rather sympathize with all of us who are being taken advantage by these institutions in pursuit of more money, the problem really isnt that we dont know how to grade. look to our departments telling us to pass students through, the colleges we work under being deprioritized and defunded to worship stem, our universities doing everything to fill the leadership's pockets, and generally a society that has increased the barrier for entry for almost every field at every stage making undergrad a necessity for the vast majority of jobs

believe me, i wish i had a better answer for the ai problem. but shitting on college instructors just is not accurate or fair. its certainly not going to solve any of these problems to punch down at the people with the least amount of power in the situation

have made this exact post before but if you're a high school teacher i get being genuinely concerned that chatgpt is making it difficutl to tell if your students have learned how to write basically comprehensible paragraphs or not. that sounds really shitty and i have genuine sympathy! however if you're worried abotu students cheating with chatgpt as a college professor then you're admitting that you'd give a passing grade to uncited wildly incorrect computer drivel and i think you deserve to have your students circumvent your busywork assignments

[sieglinde-freud]

its taking all of my restraint to not just post the whole fucking conversation but they really are so dear to me. this whole scene is soooooo… like for inigo its everything he definitely needed to hear but never got to and for chrom its just kind of that full circle moment of making peace not only with his son but also his own self as someone who is slowly coming to terms with his weaknesses as a ruler (like his anger and his brashness—which inigo also has!) and how he projected his feelings of inadequacy onto inigo and is slowly making up for that. GOD. chrom inigo father son bonding hours. IM EMO

[k1mbe3rly]

Baekjin NWFS alphabet 🌚🤧

Baekjins NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

he goes professional mode, he’ll clean you up, shower you, feed you, clean the sheets, wash the clothes

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

his favorite body part about you is your body in general, he’s in love with it, he likes to kiss your body a lottt

his favorite body part about himself is probably just his body when he’s fighting

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he’ll cum inside you always, he hates pulling out, but first he’ll make sure your in birth control, or have plan b or any type of pill to not get pregnant

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

his dirty secret is letting other people watch you guys fuck

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he wasn’t experienced but he knew what he was doing, you were his first

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

no, not goofy at all, you will never see him laughing during sex

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he grooms, he keeps himself nice and neat and hairless!

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

mm he’s very into the moment as in he’s really focused in making you feel good

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

not at all

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

hair pulling, spanking, degradation and maybe slight bdsm

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

the office (the back of the bowling place)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

public teasing or touching him a lot

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything to hurt you

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he really likes eating you out a lot, he would eat you for a snack or any type of meal

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

fast and rough

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he does quickies, often since he’s always at the back of the bowling thing or somewhere

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he loves risk he literally would do it anywhere just for you

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

A long time, but if you can’t take anymore it would be around 4 rounds

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

no toys

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he likes to tease a lot especially when you make him jealous

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

groaning and low moans

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he’ll fuck you infront of the union he DONT GAF

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

8 inches..

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i’ll say low but if you want sex he’ll give it to you

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

after taking care of you

[drdemonprince]

a huge thing about sex to me is masking. i hate people looking at my face while i have sex with them. i get why people do that, i get its hot and i get its also caring.

i have so many fantasies about sex and it just turns me on so much when i fantasize about having sex with a non human. tentacle monsters and aliens are a fave, and not very uncommon. but i sadly realize that i wont ever have a secret treasure box in the back of my room that is filled with a huge tentacle monster that will fuck me the way i think about. fully in control of what it does to me, non human so theres no face to look at non eyes glooming at me. not to mention all the slimy beauty, the bendy long arms..

however ive been thinking a lot about latex and how different it would be if i would simply wear a full mask for example. im not looking into finding people to fulfill these fantasies at the moment but it really helps imagining what possibilities there are and that there actually are people that are doms as well.

in my past sexual experiences ive had to be dominant a lot of the times, and i was alright with that at that moment. i knew that my partner wasnt a dom person at all so it only made sense in that time. and i was the "experienced" one in the relationship and in the other ones ive been in as well. so i kind of 'had' to take the role of leading.

i am also a youth rape victim with months of sexual assault going with it and the whole manipulative spiel around it. and at the time it only made sense to me to try to counter that by being dom. however the more ive been getting to heal from my trauma and also the better i feel in my body through transitioning those thoughts kind of. vanish. i want to regain positive experiences of being submissive. and thats really empowering and it really shows me how trauma healing is really working.

your books have been a huge help, but your blog has been even more so (in this specific topic). you talking about sex and kink in your books, especially unmasking for life, has been really nice. and seeing you reblog all of these kinky gifs and content has been.. i dont know how to describe it. seeing you write out some of your fantasies has been so exciting. and seeing others send you their fantasies and seeing you react to it has been so comforting. so thank you for that ☘️

i just wanted to share some of my experiences and fantasies as an audhd rape victim and traumatized person in general and how progress has been looking so far.

-sid

Aww thanks sid <3. You should try out some latex! and tentacle toys and maybe some silicone-based bondage to give you a bit of the wrapped-up-in-tentacles sensation. Hope you can explore your submissive side, have some fun, and continue learning more about yourself and what turns you on.

[everything-transmasculine]

Apologies if this is far too venty for this blog, but I just gotta rant.

I try to frequent both transandrophobia tags and transmysoginy.

I found transandrophobia while trying to find other people who related to my specific experiences, so I could find a support system and know that I'm not alone. Know that I'm not crazy, that the way people treat me really is related to my trans masculinity.

Then, I frequent transmysoginy, because I want to learn and be aware of the struggles trans women & transfemmes face.

But at this point, I can't view the transmysoginy tag without getting slapped with "fuck men" and "tme's should be shot" and "trans men don't have any problems"

I know it's only a very small vocal minority, I know the vast majority of people who post on that tag are alright. They don't hate us. They support us. They know we're struggling.

But it hurts. It hurts terribly as trans men & transmascs already do not have a support system. We don't have anybody but each other. We're expected to just "man up and deal with it".

It feels like I'm looking at these tags as a form of unintentional self harm at this point.

It's weird, because, from my perspective, most folk constantly remind that, the shitty transphobic posts on the transmisoginy tag, are obviously just a vocal minority and shouldn't be the mascot for the entire tag.

But it feels as though nobody gives that same thought for the transandrophobia tag.

theres no such thing as too venty anon - im here to support you, no matter how complicated or difficult the topic is. :)

ive noticed a definite uptick in “fuck transmascs” as a sentiment from across the site, whether that be in transmisogyny tags, or otherwise - and while this is a very vocal minority who are co-opting the terminology for their own personal gain (reactionary groups LOVE stealing legitimate terminology to prop themselves up as “more logical”) it still is very disheartening to see. when i trawl the usual tags for antitransmasculinity, i really dont see this same sentiment echoed - yes, there are some people who use it for personal gain, as is with any popular tag on tumblr, but the majority of the posts in the tags “transandrophobia” and its derivatives… its mostly just transmasculine people speaking about the horrific abuse theyve had to endure, or its transmasculine people calling for trans unity. those who do try to instigate trans separatism and calls for lateral aggression should be drowned out, laughed at and ignored.

i think this vocal minority is definitely doing more harm than good to the trans community as a whole, and these bad actors are counting on that to destabilize and delegitamize any attempts at trans unity. these people - in both tags - are not dealing with the repercussions of their transphobia offline, they are stirring the pot and then dipping. its easier to stir up a group of people against eachother than it is to unify them - especially when we are already so diverse. its important to recognize and remember that these people calling for violence against trans people (of any kind) are not our allies. these are not people we should be giving ANY attention - because, ultimately, what they want is attention. what they want is a platform. rule #1 of the internet - dont feed the trolls.

as an aside - no, i dont think some transfems and trans women being snappy or insulting online is a systemic issue. i am speaking about real world repercussions and consequences transmasculine people are facing (myself included in that - i have some stories) due to the pervasiveness and reparroting of anti trans rhetoric under the guise of it being “punching up” here… because at the end of the day, youre still just punching. (what i mean is, we are seeing a lot of watered down versions of transphobia, but that doesnt mean it doesnt still hurt.)

[kurishiri]

Hii thank you so much for all the translations you’ve done!

I wanted to ask how would you describe Darius personally? I’m so interested in him as a character but the lack of information makes it hard to figure out anything about him ;; I don’t think we have any hints about his past so far? Unless I’m mistaken

helloow anon! ty for reading my tls too 🤍 i'll try to describe darius in the way i can- but theres overall not much known at all ab him yet either in the game so also take my words with grain of salt hehr

about darius and his possible past (its an attempt guys) ↓

hmm on the surface or at first glance, he kind of has a childish air to him to me. and i think hes naturally tht way .. as in i dont think he acts ths way in an attempt to actively hide smth else ab him, but also i think it serves to sort of underplay(?) just how scheming or wily he can actually be. he could also say the most “wtf” things with a smile on his face or with a calm voice ,, if you read the 2nd anniversary collection story (darius’ line to ring; iykyk) and darius’ story bonus with his “joke” to kate, you could probably feel ths.

i think theres also smth ,, sort of emotionally removed abt darius. he sort of views himself as an angel and whtnot and sees those who r cursed as superior to those who r not. i think there is ths sort of clash between his “inhumane” side where he shows an amicable smile but it doesnt reach his eyes and he struggles to empathize with others, and his also deeply human side.

after all, for all his hate toward “humans” like kate, he seems to show a rather strong attachment to her as well. all tht to say: he feels emotions like anyone else, and he feels them strongly (probably influenced in part by kate) — bc whether he likes it or not, he, too, is a human who happens to be cursed — and he does feel emotions such as jealousy, hurt, frustration .. but he doesnt know wht those emotions would be called. he cant put a label to his own emotions bc hes somehow convinced himself? tht such emotions r like beyond him and all tht jazz.

really, darius to me is sort of a case of a lot of “hes ths, but also tht” and all. a walking contradiction, in part due to his own philosophies and maybe trauma?

vros got negative emotional intelligence lmao

implications of his past

there r some subtle hints ab his past, actually! none of thm r super out there so its hard to catch and does require some like inference and theorizing, but i think we have like a couple parts we can sort of go off of here :>

for example, food. the favorite subject of his stories lmao its implied he may have dealt with attempts at poisoning him with food before or some other food-related trauma in the past. he is a noble, so it probably makes some sense if ths is a case, though it would leave the question of why him?

for one, he has mentioned he hates potatoes bc he ate so much of thm in the past tht he is like tired of thm and cant stand even the sight of thm. i forget which story he mentions the first part (it mightve been the wicked romance story event one), but he mentions the latter part in his 2nd anniversary story — the one you get by sending 400 times to him haha.

there r also moments (will vs darius story event and his dining bond story for example, among others) where he will find a way to like .. not have to be the one eating first. for example whn will gets him food, darius sort of indirectly makes sure tht will eats first before he eats himself. or it could be the same with kate. hes pretty subtle abt ths though — like he will never phrase it in a way tht makes it seem like food could be a potential weakness for him, but i think its sort of like a thing in his stories sometimes.

in the bond story where he shares a “secret” with you, its likely he was talking ab a moment in his past — specifically the part where he may have met nica and ring — though he phrased ths like a story to kate. but i think the fact they did ths in ths specific bond story, titled secret talk, gives it more possibility tht ths “story” is a real anecdote, yk?

and in tht same story, he tells another short anecdote abt nica and ring, saying how they really r a family. theres also the fact he is trying to create a family himself too ,, it kinda makes me think he may have had some familial issues? plus, there is his level 23 bond story where he basically says tht he liked how kate didnt try to leave him whn he is lonely or alone, smth like tht. perhaps he had some form of abandonment issue in the past?

well ,, these r all theories in the end! but maybe its smth to go off of hehr

[wackywatchdotcom]

I've found it interesting that both Jax and Ragatha are essentially two sides of the same coin. How they mask their true feelings and interact with others is always some kind of front.

However, they both seem to have tried to reach out to Pomni in a way they hadn't with the others (Jax after Pomni spent an adventure with Kinger, his attempt at reaching out at Spudsy's) (Ragatha pretty much all of episode two etc)

I am wondering that, since she is new, they are trying, in their own way, to get validation from the new person without realizing it yet.

i agree so so much!!!! jax and ragatha feel like theyre very specifically associated with one another writing wise VERY deliberately. the theme song alone separates the characters into chunks (gangle zooble and kinger. ragatha jax and kaufmo) that pair the two up, theyre constantly interacting, that they share two spotlight eps, and so on. almost all of the characters, imo, have some sort of narratively significant dynamic, but jax and ragatha is absolutely one that is given extra detail, which definitely highlights the idea that theyre VERY different but also VERY similar in an important way

jax is decidedly the most Mean of the cast, and ragathas the most Nice, put simply (bc that is subjective, but i think the opposite degrees of friendliness the two exhibit are pretty clear), but that in itself IS some sort of mask, with their masks getting partially dropped in ep 4- i dont think theyre fully dropped and i dont think it has to do with 'jax is secretly nice' or 'ragatha is secretly mean' so much as the episode highlights the idea that theres more context to why they act how they do, and that the two of them are both putting on some kind of performance, though the extent of that isnt so cut and dry i think

i think ive seen it described better by others than i could but i think its very much that they are what the other lacks, in the least healthy ways possible. id consider them foils, because a person could argue theyre far more similar than meets the eye (with the severity of their masks and that both display an at least partially disingenuous happiness) but i think that they still mirror each other strongly enough that its them being foils that actually highlights these similarities at all- everything they do is opposite from one another, even down to how they treat the npcs (jax enjoying the idea of causing them harm because theyre not real, it doesnt matter, he can do what he wants, vs ragatha whos as kind as possible to the npcs, the reason for which being unclear since she doesnt seem to view them as alive, but likely a need for approval, so she does what she wants, too), but it has a similar root cause for WHY they do these things, and how it impacts their personhood by slowly stripping them of themselves

the two absolutely seek approval so so hard. ragathas more blatant in it, stating directly that she wants jax to like her even if she hates him- that she doesnt think pomni likes her (the idea of which causing her distress). she needs people to like her so bad. theres a lot of possible reasons for this but frankly it really seems to stem from her placing her own self worth on the care of others. it distresses her deeply when she thinks someone doesnt like her. on the topic of the npc thing it DOES seem like its some attempt at being cared about, even in an absurd situation. ive discussed it before, but it reads like fawning, HARD, particularly when shes around kaufmo- it makes no sense for her to try to appeal to his emotions, to apologize to him and try to convince him of something that would make him less upset, even if its not true, when she KNOWS you cannot really reason with abstracted players

it reads more like instinct, then, that others need to like her and shell do anything even if its putting on a face in order to maintain that. its not healthy and reads as insincere to others at worst, and makes it hard for others to know whats real with her- but she seems to genuinely care. its just that once you base your entire identity socially on others liking you, or being liked by as many people as possible, the line between you and the fake, palatable version of yourself becomes blurred to the point of hardly being visible. it makes it hard to maintain that approval longterm, because it damages trust and damages her own sense of identity, which runs the risk of making an awful gradually deteriorating loop of her trying HARDER to appeal to people and putting people off MORE in the process

jax doesnt seem to care so much, sort of. hes a little confusing to break down bc he is deeply contradictory (not in a poorly written way, hes just quite fucked up). he likes to do what he likes to do. he likes to do things he finds funny. but ive mentioned it before, that i dont think he hates them. theyre entertaining and the fact that he keeps his face up around them implies that he does care what they think of him. during the evaluation, he says 'no one can see this, right?' hes the most emotionally repressed person alive as said by gooseworx herself, but this is a performance for himself and highlights that he assumes others have the same expectations of him, too. he cant be uncool, but WHY does he care if the others thinks he is? if he truly didnt care about the others opinion of him, hed just... never pretend. how can someone so obsessed with doing anything that HE finds fun regardless of others opinions of him STILL give a shit what anyone thinks? (is it because he wants the appearance of having it together? but then, thats dictated by others view of him, not the other way around)

i see it interpretted that his shittiness is him lashing out at people, which i think is true somewhat but not quite in the typical way. i dont think hes unhappy and snapping at people because of it. i dont think the circus made him an asshole, so much that i feel like he was already a bit unpleasant to others, but with no true consequences, and being deeply unhappy made him start leaning on being MORE of a dick. hes unhappy, so hes going to BE happy, and if that means throwing someone of a truck for laughs or pushing people around or dropping them in deep fryers so be it. its not real anyway. its a desperate desire for joy at the expense of others. but this is destroying any semblance of companionship he could have, and given that i think hes the MOST social of the cast, constantly talking to people and joining things, i think this has worn at him in its own way

(both jax and ragatha seem to had deeply adapted to the circus but in cartoonish ways- ragatha treats it all like its real for comfort. jax treats it all like its fake but engages in the cartoon bullshit it all has to offer)

thinking on it, what with how pomni assures gummigoo and what kinger tells pomni, theres probably something to be said about the fact that, of anything, the only real thing IN the circus is how people feel about one another. when everything around you is fake, the only real things are other people and your interactions with them. ragatha and jax both seem keen on participating in distractions (jax avoids participating actively in the pilot but he DOES suggest the adventure, and seems to have a lot of fun participating in ep 2- though its in his own 'everything should go my way and if it doesnt ill mope about it' way. ragatha outright speaks positively about them as a way to keep the players minds 'healthy and stimulated' and seems to see them as a genuine attempt on caines part to keep everyone sane. theres something to be said about the stupid sauce too probably) and in putting on their faces to cope

but a new player doesnt have all these fake concepts ingrained in them yet, and pomni as she is is a deeply blunt person on top of that. she acts often on instinct but she also speaks her mind openly (really, shes who jax WANTS to be... sort of. if that makes sense). of anyone in the circus, she IS the most 'real' and how she treats people is genuine, and it makes me wonder if jax and ragathas interest in her isnt JUST a desire for companionship bc of the inherent loneliness and isolation of the circus and how that wears on a human, but further, a desire for something truly real in their lives; a genuine connection with a person who is utterly sincere. something real, despite it all

[f0rs4k3nbyth3sp4wn]

making a post about how the fandom characterises elliot bcs ts pmo icl 🥀🥀🥀

(small cw for mentioned attempted murder towards a child [fictional ofc]. but this is the forsaken fandom so i dont think most people will care. oh also this is a REALLY long post so. beware)

sooo im pretty new to the fandom but after having browsed almost every sfw 7n7 fic on ao3, its safe to say elliot's characterisation (or, well, mischaracterisation), is becoming a HUGE problem. a lot of people make him pissy around n7 and c00lkidd, which, to be fair, he has a right to be pissy! but the way they execute this is where things go wrong.

this is a more extreme example, but here's the gist of an au my friend found on tiktok (not linking for the creator's sake, which, speaking of, if you've seen this au and know the creator, please don't harass them. i mean i shouldn't have to say that but im still putting it out there):

honestly i agree with the last sentence he said, even i know this is bs even though i've only been a forsaken fan for like a week or smth 😭😭🥀🥀 to show you why, let me break down what we do know of how elliot's personality, how he feels about n7 and c00lkidd, and how he expresses it:

he is generally portrayed as a sweet and kind person, who always wants to help wherever he can.

he 'hates' n7 due to what c00lkidd did to the pizzeria (according to the fanmade wiki), though nothing has (canonically) ever been said about his feelings towards c00lkidd himself (to my knowledge)

he is not openly hostile towards n7, and has never canonically said anything 'mean' to his face, only acted passive aggressive (e.g. "...just get going").

i do disagree with his feelings towards n7 being 'hate' rather than just 'strongly dislike' (trust me, theyre VERY different things), but i digress. even if we were to say elliot hated n7, some people portray him as not even hating, but loathing him (this is an even bigger problem in pizzaburger fics/aus imo). if you want to write a complicated/negative relationship between two characters who are not your own, it's vital to know the difference between dislike, hate and loathe (as seen below).

(via langeek.co)

the reason i say elliot strongly dislikes n7 as opposed to hate is because hatred is often accompanied with a sense of hostility (while dislike is more avoidant, which fits elliot more imo when we look at their canon interactions). if you hate someone, you will not want to help them, and to be fair, i've read a handful of fics where elliot straight up refuses to give n7 pizza, or is at least hesitant. i dont think that's how elliot would behave. yes he is mad at n7 for not controlling his son, and has a grudge against him, but at his core, elliot is a kind guy. even if he wasn't, he'd never leave someone to die, no matter how temporary.

but continuing on the whole 'elliot loathes n7' dynamic, it becomes even more jarring when you apply it as an 'enemies to lovers' pizzaburger dynamic. even more so if you don't do the work to make it well paced. here are some tips on how you can do that:

pay heed to the rest of this post and do NOT make elliot too aggressive towards 007n7 in your fic. otherwise, it may feel too forced, especially if you don't want to go through the slowburn route. feel free to let the guy be passive aggressive though, just don't make him feel uncontrollable hatred every time he sees 07 (i prefer to think he feels manageable disdain, though i think you can tell by now).

on the other side of the coin, do NOT make n7 too pathetic. im all for him being a soggy wet cat, but at the end of the day, that's a grown ass man that was once very similar to c00lkidd. at the very least, i don't think he'd be crying left and right, considering this is a former terrorist, lol.

this is more me telling you guys to be creative than giving tips on pacing (since im not very creative myself, so i dont have many tips myself rn) but if you want to write the exact moment elliot began to like and respect n7, i don't really like the idea of n7 achieving that by bodyblocking for elliot?? like. it's not typically executed right bcs again. it often does what i advised against in the above two points. if you wanna do smth like that in your fic/comic, try comprimising by making it a clone block instead, and letting n7 be a REALLY good distractor like those aggressive n7 main. (i left this incomplete on accident when i posted this lol)

just overall make sure elliot is respectful to n7 during the late pining and post establishing the relationship stages!! it's perfectly fine if you want him to say 'mean' stuff to him that he doesnt mean (think of how siblings, friends, and again, sometimes partners, joke with each other. tough love or wtv), but don't make him have a hate boner for the guy lol. unless youre writing smut where there are actual hate boners involved, i aint getting involved in allat.

anyways, idk how to end this post off, so on a more positive note, go check out this pizzaburger yaoilicious peak rn !!! and feel free to add your own opinions, idm having a discussion as long as youre respectful, and am likely to add more to this post if you remind me of smth i might wanna say (im not the best at articulating myself lol) !!

[fictionfixations]

might not necessarily relate but man ive had this eating me up inside for ages because i just felt too worried about writing this down anywhere that id hurt someones feelings but like man its been years now its probably fine

Once I was writing this fic of like a crossover and I was just kinda having fun writing whatever and on like whims so it was kind of a mess but I had fun writing it whenever I got bursts of inspiration of like 'oh hey what if [this happens]'

and then i got a comment that like to be fair was constructive criticism and pointed out a bunch of loopholes and inconsistencies n stuff like that and also how ooc my characters were and that i might as well have just made it an oc thing

which. i really appreciated because yeah im still learning how to write and still improving but it was.. really demotivating

that i kind of just stopped writing that fic entirely. i tried to like take a long time before i posted a chapter telling my readers im discontinuing the fic because i didnt want them to feel like they were the cause of it since yknow they were just trying to be helpful but like man.... it just sucked all the fun out of it for me

and like i mean now im more likely to read like character analyses and like how people would describe their personality on wikis and write fics more on media ive recently consumed so i remember it better in comparison to stuff i havent seen in years and just winging it, and like not skipping over stuff thats really important to the story im telling but i skip over because i dont know how to write it (its really just a letting someone in on the 'truth' so idk man i didnt think i had to summarize it but i guess i did like a big build up to it so sure) and like trying to keep a better track of whats going on so its not all over the place

and like im better at writing people reacting to stuff and like actually doing something which i felt weird about for the longest time because thered just be this one character yapping with a lot of dialogue that i just didnt know how to have the other character react

but sometimes i just think back to like longg paragraphs of notes i had planning out stuff that i kinda wanted to add into that fic (based off of other media id consumed and really liked) and i just never got to do it cause when i was thinking it up it was really fun, and i thought it was fun even if i wasnt entirely sure how i was gonna write it

but then i read that comment and then i look at my notes and then they just.. kind of feel really dumb. like, like its such a bullshit ending idea and just.. didnt know how to keep writing because then i just kind of started being overly critical when i didnt even have the whole idea of the fic planned, it was just literally something i started on a whim and kept continuing on a whim with hella inconsistent updates, just whenever i felt like it but itd still sit in the back of my head brainstorming the whole time so it was still important to me

but ohh man people are taking this seriously

..i should take this seriously

and then i didnt have anything to write. or like id think back on it and want to write something but then id have all these doubts weighing down on me that i just kept putting it on the backburner

which really sucked. (anyway that kinda made me not really want to write multichapter fics for the long term and instead turn them into oneshots that i can return to whenever but most likely not since theyre 'done', and whenever i take too long on a multichapter fic its like whatever im not getting anywhere lets just discontinue)

dont get me wrong i love comments but i also understand like okay you can think oh they could probably do this part better and wanna give constructive criticism and feedback and advice, but its like.. if they dont want it then dont give it?? this is such a complete topic change from the post im reblogging but i dont know where else to put it and am not confident in it standing okay as its own post

and im sure there are ways to word feedback in a way thats less negative and like wouldnt make someone lose motivation but would instead push them to do better like ooh thats another way of how i can do this, but you remember one kinda more negative comment then a bunch of positive ones 😭

also this might be completely different to other people they can prob take it, i just take comments to heart way too much

ive seen some fics that will have in notes that theyre open to like constructive criticism and thats what i mean where its okay to do stuff like that

so like you can share stuff then or if you do write comments on other fics then maybe try to word it in a way that wont make them feel like what theyre doing is stupid or something 💀

like once i got this comment that was like oh you can separate the paragraphs more and that was a nice comment (dont remember the exact wording) and it also changed how i wrote cause before i wrote these huge blocks of text but now theyre more separated into smaller paragraphs and easier to digest

and i found that very helpful, i think it really comes down to the wording since tones are pretty hard to tell in writing (minus tone tags, i dont see a lot of them tbh)

anyway uh

thanks for reading this long ass post

i dont really know if this will resonate with a lot of people or if like i just have like a completely wrong take or if its sounding like i dont like comments (I really do appreciate comments they give me the extra boost i need to write stuff because it tells me that there are people who really like my writing)

but dude ive had this stuck in my head for like 2-3 years and not once have i written anything even hinting towards it because i kept feeling really really bad and didnt want them to feel bad if they were still reading my stuff

but man i just needed to get this out there. get my thoughts out. now ill just start to forget about this now that ive given it an outlet

anyway trying to get back to the actual topic of the post i reblogged

i try to be more accurate and closer to canon now but sometimes i just gotta accept it like man... this is gonna be hella ooc. but yknow what? thats okay. and since its ooc what if i just do THIS and THIS??? whose looking for accuracy points?? not me. also probaly tagging out of character is a good idea just in case so if anyones like 'AGHH THEYRE SO OOC' '*points to tag* WELL YEAH???'

anyway i kinda got that comment when i was a bit more insecure in my writing but in those years ive accepted that yeah fanfiction is just whatever man, its made by the fans for the fans so who the hell cares if its like hella bullshitty or something idfk man theres no limit to what random ass shit you can do in fics (and sometimes that shit is hella funny too) and who cares if its not like professional ass writing (do we look like professionals??? ....*stares at the fic writers who have actually published books* i mean well not all of us LMAO)

also its really really easy to just.. stop reading if you find something in a fic you dont like. you dont have to comment at all. its that easy.

theres so many fics out there that im sure theres one that'll be your cup of tea so its fine if you find one you dont like, just try another one

also dont be afraid to just turn off comments or some shit and keep writing 💀 cause at the end of the day we're kinda just writing what we want, no one else, we just end up posting it for other fans to enjoy so i say do whatever makes you happy, dont let what other people say (who are being negative) affect what you write because at that point wheres the fun in writing?? wheres the charm of doing whatever the fuck you want, or even the charm of planning out a full on story of this idea that you really like and want to expand upon???

anyway hope i made some sense

what do u think about people whining when you change a character too much in a fic? it’s fanfiction after all, i don’t want my silly cringey fics to be canon, but i’m scared to write for a certain character because they’re not into romance in canon and people jump to each others throats because some people write fiction about them and others say its implied not canon.

I have talked about this before (tap here for how I feel about the matter).

but to sum it up, I don’t “think” about people who whine about this, except that they’re entitled, I block them and then I forget about them.

what I do think / what I believe is that writers can write whatever they want. you can write whatever you want. it’s your work, your creation. write it for yourself, it’s so much more fun than writing just to please random strangers on the internet.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Prompts 46 28 58 w/ Finn

i REALLY need to make a sheet somewhere to write down who got what prompts completed hmmm grrrgrrrrgrrr so many characters so many things hiss prompts: first date, dancing, teasing gone hurtful notes: gn toon reader, short and sweet, written on computer, pre game, finn is a dork but hes a lovable dork, a dork with a big heart cws: none

FIRST DATE

hes not really the type to get sheepish or embarrassed during a first date- in fact hes going to make sure this date is going to be the best first date ever!

sure he might be a little cliché in taking you out for dinner but hey! its a cliché for a reason! it works! besides its a nice little wind down to chat and get to know each other- even if you guys were already friends before the date...

also the table hides the way hes kicking his feet. his grin already looks goofy enough but you dont get to see just how giddy he is over this... he will be thinking about the date for days afterwards and he might be quick to ask for a second date...

...though... he warned hes really going to aim to make you laugh. so. many. jokes.

DANCING

you guys might slip... his water has a tendency to spill around as is but with the added movement from dancing.... its only a matter of time before one of you falls. and drags the other with him

hes also got a glass head, and... well falling on a hard floor probably isnt going to be all that good for him... it might be better not to risk something like that- and emptying all the water from his head feels really weird for him. he doesnt like how it feels and it generally just looks so weird to see his head empty

its a real shame too :(

TEASING GONE HURTFUL

he can take some teasing- he can understand sometimes he can be a bit much even if he still doesnt know when to knock it off. he struggles with cues and such sometimes... a lot of the time...

but man... sometimes you go a little too far without meaning to and he kind of just looks at you like a wounded puppy. genuinely youve never seen someones smile drop so fast and you feel so bad

hes quick to try to talk it over and come to an understanding about it. he doesnt like to leave things to simmer- but just know if he generally struggles with tones and stuff you must have REALLY said something that managed to slip under his skin. dont do that again.

[frostgnawdraws]

was thinking about the prisoners missing antler and what could've happened to it and landed on the hc that it was growing towards their head and would have hurt them if it continued so it was cut off when they were a kid/teen and their antlers were still in velvet. so here's a shitty ibis paint doodle of them pre-antler chop with their silly fucked up antler lol

[astralzeraphias]

“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”

“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”