#i have a lot of dreams abt being w my friends and having a beautiful life but i do not dream abt. my work. lmao

[icarusgf]

intern partner asked me what my dream job wld be . not to quote iconic missing mutual grace fireproofs but i actually do not dream of labor.... at least not the labor u go to college and study for. i like learning i like my hobbies i like cooking i like spending time w friends i like art but idk if i would ever be fully obsessed w any one thing packaged fully as a JOB.

[strab3rr]

(long story and no short sorry) GUYSSS I DID ITT

I INDUCED IT!!!!! I WAS PURE AS A FUCKING BABY

IDK WHAT TO SAY (ok enough w capslock)

i have so much to say and not a thing at da same time idk how

anyway i want to begin with thanking you @b4ddprincess bc youre the reason i realized why i started this thing. thank you for making my life better and make me realized what i need to do: nothing. (its same for you guys, all u have to do is nothing)

two fuckn years ago i said to myself that i need a better life, quiter life, less fight with everthing bc everything was so loud and not clear i was feeling lost like a child in the market, and i wanted to make things better for myself in every way, but the main idea of my reasons to wanting to get in the void was: making anxiety go and having better people in my life. but the ''voidlist'' just never stopped bc im kinda greedy(having the idea of controling on your life, the idea of that power makes you greedy. yes thats a thing) anyway the more i add to the list the more i feel like im movin away from my desires then i feel depressed bc ive overcomplicating it bc theres so many things to do but i dont do anything so nothing happend bc i was waiting to be someth happen. and then i started doing awkwardly silly things such as: void routines and challenges and (im embarrassed of this one bc i was too desperate) drinking water

youve read it correct drinking water.

i was sooo desperate for having those things id do anything to get them.

i am simple. i want what everyone wants🎀🎀🎀: shifting realities bc i have so many crush and i need them to be crush me in bed(for 2020 girlies)

being an academic weapon is so easy for me🎀(bc of the urge to make my family proud) +dream collage

being the girl that everyone gets along w(basic needs)

being the girl who is pretty not cute(trauma response)

glowing aura(cats loves people w glowing aura yes thats a thing too)

dream body n hair(bc i deserve this🎀)

healthy (girlyfriend)friends(basic needs)

and of course him, my sp(i cant tell wich one at that time but i releived that its not him now, bc MY BELOVED CURRENT BF. guyss he is the one. dont u dare ask me how you know? i literally manifested him🎀)

then i realized i can have everything bc its my reality so why not add these:

new phone, +macbook air

dream apartment of my own

pinterest closet

lifa app for this reality

financially free-money(a lot. like really a lot)

knowing 4 languages like a native person(bc i want to be diplomat so bad) +sign language(its in general)

a little drama(its not gonna hurt anybody)

my parents being more lovable and away from me

every time i try to get in, either i was failing or falling

and im sick of it, sick of it so much i quit.(for a year)

then i go to the theraphy(ofc no im jk ilove being crazy)

one day i saw a post ss from tumblr about pure consciousness on pinterest and i was like whaat is thiiss. no mention of void so i thougt its a diffrent thing and i download the tumblr again and search everything abt it. and same excitement again after one year same thougts and same list popes up in my head. and i was like ok maybe this time itll happen.

still waiting to be someth happen so nothing happend, it was such a waste of time trying to get in while i was already be, i was already what i want to become. i was that girl that everyone gets along with but i couldnt even see bc i was too focused on wanting to be. but still tried every night and failed. and again tried-failed-quit circle bc.. have you ever met me🎀

4 month ago i saw the girl, iconic blogger and the goddess of my dreams, her @b4ddprincess thx again love u so much

a post pops in my fyp and i see the words ''pure consciousness'' i was like noo not again. and i was serious abt it i wasnt gonna read the whole thing but it attract me n i couldnt resist it so ive read it from the top to the bottom. and she got my interest so i stalked her page from the last and to the first post. it was quiet a beautiful journey for me. lasted like 3 days, the end of the 3rd day i was ''woaw it was this easy all along? u cant be serious.'' she was. i tried one last time, no breathing exercise, no ridiculous routines and no waiting something to be happen. it was just me being real me chilling out asf.

and it was this easy and it should be this easy bc being your 4d self is being nothing also being everything at the same time. if u wanna be everything you should be nothing first(as wizardliz saying: drop the old story, leave the victimhood, for being better stop being bitter etc.)u should make a space for everything first and then u can be everything.

for being 4d self of yours stop being your3dself.

sooo long story (no)short i am writing this from my mac in my new apartment(in middle of the night bc i couldnt sleep and then one tumblr notification reminded me i have a success story to share too) and my phone buzzing two minutes a time bc of my friends while im writing this, so if theres anything wrong ignore it pls.

oh u asking my bf how cute, hes sleepin in my bed now, exhausted from the work n school balance.

YWS SCHOOL!! im in my dream collage and im going to be in paris for a week. i deserve a vacation i guess(its for another conference), i kinda hate french men bc theyre so mansplaning(not like how i imagined, its hard to be friends w them)girls are cute but i feel like theyre aware im not permanent there so we just con buddies still cute and hepful for this foreigner.

and i canceled the lifa app thingy bc i can be my purest consciousness anytime i want, so i am my lifa app.

and thx to 4 languages i make a lot of money and that brings us to the pinterest closet, yesterday i realiased that. theyre not comes to me w an imaginary way like i imagined! i go outside for shopping casually and theyre there luckily i have enough money to buy them.

and my family theyre living in our hometown now so as i want it to be, we are away from eachother.

and the most magical thing: SHIFTING REALITIESSS

i did 5 world before i met w my bf. it was such a wonderful experience. if you have doubts abt shifting you can go fuck urself

because sir i did it and i am very sure that dean winchester being my husband is not a daydream, fantasy nor lucid dreaming. believe it or not he kissed me GOD HE KİSSED ME(someone should stop me i have a bf)

is there anything i missed let me see.. cats i have 2 cats now and theyre adorable. glowing aura-check

the girl who is pretty not cute- check +make anxietygo-checkcheckcheck

dream body and hair- check and check

i wanna give u a info i didnt have all my desires by being my4dself

not directly actually. but i have them all. and thats the point.

im not trying to be a blogger but if you have any question abt anything, id be happy to help

now i need to upgrade things in my farm byeess

loves, siena.

[floorpancakes]

it was a cruel twist of fate that everything i actually wanted and all my personal growth flashed before my eyes as soon as i ended up in the biggest mental and physical crisis of my life that has slowly eaten away at my will to live and aged me like crazy but at least it gives me (this is a metaphor and not literal***) watanuki kinnie points

[death4myluv]

bsf lore. warning, it's not crazy and prob therefore boring

I met my bsf when I was 3 yrs old. we were both at a princess class (don't ask). one of the actors thought me and him were siblings when we didn't know eachother. after that we were buddies for the whole day. our mom's exchanged info. turned out she was almost a yr older than me and lived a town over, someplace my family and I never needed to go. me and my bsf never would have met if not for this class.

Anyway, I can say I do not remember living without them. I don't remember my life before we were best friends. they have been my only bsf. we have known each other now for 14 yrs. I hope to keep knowing them 4ever.

we have never fought. not even as kids. no arguments over toys or different games to play (tho I did get very annoyed when she didn't want to play pretend horror lol, sure she had those moments w me too). the closest thing to an argument w him I remember was when he made me feel not smart by bragging abt school, and I cried to my mom abt it, and my mom brought it up to him and he started crying. but as soon as that happened we were hugging and saying sorry and it was over. that's all.

I have not gone more than a month without seeing them for as long as I can remember. this became rlly rought when they graduated last spring. now they live 8 hours away and I went all of fall without seeing her. :( I gen believe that the absence of her in my life played a huge role in my mental breakdown, but I will never tell her that.

Anyway I am pretty much in love w her. probably, idk. for the past year everytime we hang out I'm thinking abt how good a life w her would be. we have so much in common, seriously, and I want to spend the rest of everything in wtv way they'll allow me to for the rest of my life.

I see him as the kindest most selfless person in my world. I would have kms by now if not for him. I have had a few vivid nightmares where he takes his life, I can gen say that those r the worst dreams I've had. we have both struggled w a lot of the same mental health issues, thought I think mine might be more severe in the present. I'm always worried that they are actually like me rn. I'm always worried that I'm putting to much on them by having my problems. but if either of those things were true I would do anything to alleviate it. I can also gen say that seeing her cry makes me cry. like fr, not metaphorically; literally.

and in these past few months of terrible depression, all I rlly want is him. which doesn't make much sense, bc we never get thst emotionally intimate with eachother, but it's true. I've had to rework some of my future college plans bc I js can't do this shit how it is and I think being around them would help so much. in my world, I see them as my other half, even if I'm not theirs. and ig I'm okay w that. i do have some jealousy issues regarding her, but wtv.

ahh this is so stupid. I js don't know

the last time I saw them, when they came down for Thanksgiving, we went on a walk in the snow. they were so beautiful. I realized some things.

if the opportunity to date them presented, I wouldn't. it isn't the time for that yet. it's too.. special, ig, to not wait. I don't think that'd go well. I don't even want to do that. but I do really like the idea of trying when we are older and stable and can make smth work, like I imagine.

idk if I love them like that, but I do love them. i'd choose them everytime

[wjsns]

and u know what im ready to make my full statement on MENG MEI QI too. the situation is so crazy to me, basically now in 2023 some ujung wont even type out her name because 1. cheating scandal (WHERE SHE WAS THE 3RD PARTY, WASNT EVEN THE PERSON TO CHEAT ON SOMEONE) and 2. doesnt mention wjsn ever and to me that is literally HILARIOUS like, god its just soooo funny to watch everyone pile in with the loudest most popular opinion and not do personal critical thinking, or hey, maybe they did and what mmq did really WAS too much for them to still support her but in that case i raise an eyebrow because idk… a lottt of yall are the same people who will get online and write about loving evil women and letting girls be shitty etc etc and she literally gives you what you asked for on a silver PLATTER, like doing nothing cancellable just giving us a good wholesome woman being evil and selfish and obsessed w herself and everyone turns on her!!!! sorry shes not fucking chuu lmao!? (ilu chuu no hate but there is space for good AND evil girls in my heart😇) im sorry im SO unbothered by her being the other woman in a cheating scandal like i cant imagine something mattering less to me and it actually made me super happy to confirm she fucks even tho the guy was ugly😇 but i said kinda most of this already so SECOND OF ALL about her not mentioning wjsn and shit… another thing i literally have NO problem with?? again, like…… no one was more distraught than me at what happened to ot13 but these are REAL PEOOLEEEEEEEEEE?!????!??? i’ve said this before too but i think its worth mentioning, i think my perspective on WJSN has always been a certain way because i grew up playing soccer on a team of the same ~18 girls for over 8 years and im very familiar with, idk, “team dynamics” in groups of girls growing up together? so i understand what its like to be in a larger group dedicated towards this ultimate, performance based goal together and while not everyone out of those 18 girls is one-to-one best friends and lots of people have pretty significant differences, none of that matters “on the field” or when you’re “working”, and its actually lowkey beautiful hiw such different people can unite together to make their dream happen AND develop really long lasting strong relationships w each other when they would otherwise might not have. so ive never had illusions that wjsn as a group has this monolithic motivator or reason for being in wjsn or being an idol, they are all super different personalities and have different interest areas like acting, musicals, song production, MCing etc! so its really impossible for me to feel upset or bothered in any way when i hear complaints about mmq’s behavior in this area because im like ? she obviously has/had this solo career (that i have to believe she had way more control and stylistic direction over than with wjsn) in her home country where she gets to embrace her personal style and concepts instead of matching wjsns, shes clearly separating from that past image and going in a different direction w her career! it does make me bummed that shes not getting 13 stars tattooed like xiao did but again what am i gonna do, be mad that this artist who i really care abt as a person is going off on their own path and direction? cujung is a ROCK of this fanbase its not like a mmq wjsn mention is going to create millions more ujung and album sales? just never added up to me, IM not gonna feel some type of way about it because stan twit fucking tells me to, like how it feels a lot of ujungs react to everything! that one thing going around that was like “wjsn are coworkers not friends” was sooooo funny for me to watch ujung actually get mad about because like,,, they ARE coworkers? AND FRIENDS?! there are 13 of them? each person has a unique individual and complex relationship with each other person? ah idk why i even bother with these essays the avg kpop stans iq is literally 65 yall love being spoonfed parasocial relationships simulated for ur consumption so much u completely block out ​the fact they are real people

[sungbeam]

Okayyy 🥺🫶 And yeah~ mr. junbug is an absolute dork- i was dk biased for 3 yrs until going svt got captions and became a full jun bias 😭🫶 (oh god i just realized that's been a long time ago now 🫣) I didn't know of the photos until I looked em up and saw mr. prince... 🫠🫠🫠 bro looks so beautiful- (there's always is- but like damn- he inhaled a lot of that air bhehbea) OMG HE WOULD LIKE you know in the tag he originally wanted to be the scarer that chased svt around!? Yeah, he dreams of being a menace ����🥺🫶 and like him being a villain bc he dreamed of it and finally achieving it could be vv fun~ (honestly in general villain jun 🫠) [makes me wonder who you bias in svt 👀]

Your fics always feel vv indulgent for me hehe~ 😌🤭 and dw i have full trust in you that you have answers to it all 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

I agree it really is!! But we appreciate them and that's gotta count for sth!! 🙂‍↕️ OMG I AGREE!!! He's just so soft and sweet- those are his exact vibes omg- 🤭 OOOh you did? But omg I absolutely understand why- even more so knowing she biases juyo! you know i have no idea? there are so many instances of me basing a character off of my friends it's not even funny ehbbha 😭 but you're right it is a lot easier to do so that way!! (i told my two irl friends about the last instance i had written characters based off them and they didn't mind but idk if that's universal- but i also think it's cause imitation is a form of flattery? so?) but i'm sure she wouldn't mind esp bc she's with juyo in a way in it 🤭🙂‍↕️

WE HAVE A VV LOW BAR BUT AT LEAST WE HAVE A BAR!!! It would be perfect if we were playing limbo 🙂‍↕️

Ohhh it's so cute 🥺🤭💖 it does fit my blog quite well hehe~ thank you~ (It's pink on my samsung too! a little more vanilla on a laptop but it's okay!! it's still cute!!) and okay~ bc of q you'll prolly end up as 🐿️ - or possibly a squirrel with a star~ 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

KATE SORRY FOR THE HOPELESSLY LATE RESPONSE i have been on tumblr the very bare minimum this whole week bc of the thanksgiving holiday 😭😭 omg no cuz jun has been hitting different... like i think they finally figured out how to style his hair AKFNKDND but also YES he's sooo fkn funny i crack up watching gose 😭 ALSO TELL ME HOW WE BOTH BIASED DK AT SOME POINT I THINK WE NEED TO COMPARE BIAS LINES SOME TIME!! but jun is a secret menace confirmed lmao i remember him in that ep u mentioned and he's soooo hahahahhaha (but i currently bias dk, minghao, and seungkwan!! it used to be jeonghan and vernon in my bias line too tho haha WBU!!)

ahhh no that's true tho ! i used to have a moot where we would conspire to write characters based off one another in our fics haha and it's a lot of fun 😌 talking to irls abt fanfic tho is so nerve racking for me tho cuz like the stigma surrounding it 💔 i fear some irls r more judgmental than others

OMG UR RIGHT IT DOES FIT UR BLOG!!! then i chose well hehe awwwh wait a squirrel w a star is so cute pls 😭 i love that omg

[leonbastralle]

character meme round 2! @vanoefucks its ur turn again sorry this one took me forever sdkfjdskfsf u requested a shepard so heres trinity!

name: trinity shepard (unfortunately all my character info is back home so i might be missing a middle name) nicknames: tryn gender: nonbinary (they/them pronouns) star sign: aquarius height: uhhh since i dont have access to their character sheet i dont 100% know but probably Tall orientation: lesbian nationality/ethnicity: theyre american and mixed! favorite fruit: something sour. maybe plum or grapefruit favorite season: honestly i dont know how much seasons apply to the mass effect era, but they for sure prefer cooler temperatures favorite flower: camellia. also daisies.....they remind them of their late gf so its like. favorite but also it sucks favorite scent: lavender, but also (and this is probably me being stupid) i assume there is some smell to using biotic abilities? like chemical and/or electric? i want to believe. so also that coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: i like to think that their friends make them drink tea because its calming and stuff? they deal w a lot of anxiety and generally not v good mental health. i think their preferred way would be to just down a whole bunch of coffee to function but again. they are v cared for (at least throughout the games, very much not like that before) so theyre not allowed to do it ksjdfhkjsdfsd average hours of sleep: honestly think it fluctuates. they do probably take sleep meds but i hc them waking up a lot and not getting much more than 2-3 hours at a time but also sometimes sleeping like 10+ hours at a time sjfksdhfksjd i know i picked trinity over cassia but i just want to add that cassia also has big time insomnia. my shepards just do not sleep and honestly who can blame them sdfkjhdskjfsh like cassia pulls a lot of all nighters or gets up at wild times to exercise out all the bad thoughts but i think trinity is more of a just lying in bed for an age staring into the void kinda person dogs or cats: cats dream trip: just anywhere thats not a fucking warzone at this point number of blankets: theyre lucky to have one ajhaksjdhakjs living on a spaceship for the most part and all. which i assume theyre ok with. no blankets on missions though skjdhkjsdhfk random fact(s): not a fact abt them but a fact abt me. theyre a vanguard and my favorite way to play them was just to one shot everything with me1s overpowered shotgun. but then they nerfed it so instead i learned the beauty of charge + headshot which also was very enjoyable! definitely my favorite mass effect combat experience!

[baddiedaddy7]

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚜🦄💜

do not plagiarize. all of this is my work.

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

dreamy. big on makeup, enhancing your looks. eyes are usually round/almond. the best feature of their face are their eyes. so many gorgeous girl celebs have this. has a dreamy look, but may also look like a fish tbh lmao. sympathizes w/strangers. usually tender hearted manners, and lovely vibe. shy/reserved. you’re like a sponge. if someone is being bitchy, chances are you will be too. keeps personal life on the down low. can be unrealistic.

celebrities:Kylie Jenner, Marilyn Monroe, Jim Carrey, Denzel Washington

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

voice is probably chill, or has a soft vibe to it. voice may also be naturally low. remember it’s nice to be generous, but not too generous. don’t just give your money away easily, or to just anybody. make sure the money, or possessions you give away are put to good use. don’t be naive w/your money/possessions. the clothes you buy are probably creative/artsy or discreet/low key. focus on loving yourself. seafood lover or hater lol. might like “weird” foods. indulgent.

celebrities:Jennifer Aniston, Tina Turner, Muhammad Ali, Dwayne Johnson

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

thinks unconventionally. you may lack communication w/siblings. may be great at poetry, writing in general. writing is probably unique, and beautiful. may love the beach or lakes, traveling to places with water lol. siblings may have pisces/neptune influence in their chart. the reserved student. might have a soft spot for math, english, or art classes. visionary.

celebrities:Madonna, Dua Lipa, Keanu Reeves, Ryan Reynolds

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

parents may have been absent, or neglectful. parents may have also been addicted to substances(alcohol, drugs, even food, etc). parents may have sheltered you from certain things, that you had to learn a different way(puberty, sex in general, etc) might’ve been raised by other ppl than their bio parents, but if it’s positive, parents may have taught you to be creative, and sweet. this indicates the childhood house being near water or wanting it to be, or even being aesthetic lol. may have love fantasy growing up, fantasy movies/shows, mystical creatures, etc. childhood memories may be foggy. you’re distinctive/stand out, but you may also be over-sensitive.

celebrities:Emma Watson, Jessica Alba, Johnny Depp, Robert De Niro

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

may have “pisces” traits in the dating world(wears rose tinted glasses, loving, naive, selfless, etc). try not to put your partner on a pedestal too high, cause then you might be disappointed. you may get too caught up in the moment, so birth control may be your best friend. i’ve heard of ppl w/this placement that had unexpected pregnancies. your hobbies range from painting, singing, inventing, sleeping, binge-watching, daydreaming, hanging out, astrology, and if on the bad side drugs/alcohol. children may have pisces/neptune influence in chart. very artistic ppl.

celebrities:Angelina Jolie,Cameron Diaz, Drake, Elon Musk

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚒𝚡𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

don’t stress so easily. when stressed, letting your creativity may help how you feel, or just letting it all out(crying, writing in a diary, etc). sleeping probably even helps your stress lmao. may be a vegan/vegetarian since they adore animals sm. neptune rules pisces which is represented by fish, so a fish may be an ideal pet. if not then a cat, as cats are mysterious. may not prioritize their health. may love junk food. likes being an helping hand, so may put themselves out there to help certain organizations, ppl, etc. i feel like these ppl probably shower/bath more than once a day. you’re very considerate.

celebrities:Selena Gomez, Drew Barrymore, Will Smith, John Lennon

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

attracts ppl with pisces/neptune in chart, platonic and/or romantic. enemies also tend to have pisces/neptune energy. ppl you attract may be cheaters/liars, so watch out. they may also be really romantic or obsessive/delusional. you may attract damaged souls, that may end up trying to put their damage on you. make sure to set limits in love. but on the bright side, you may attract ppl w/positive pisces traits(dreamy, selfless, good listener, etc). senseless in love. believes in fairytales. you’re gregarious.

celebrities:Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Denise Richards, Ashton Kutcher

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

prefers to fuck ppl they have a connection with. may like to have sex in water(showers, bath, jacuzzi, etc)or near it(beach,lake, etc). sex can take you away from the real world. emotions are powerful. got some psychic shit going on😂. dreams are usually in depth, and interesting. might hide vulnerable side. death may be bc of drugs, alcohol, etc. also you may drown, die in water in general or die in your sleep. death may also be mysterious(going missing, not knowing the cause of death, etc). may be moody.

celebrities:Whitney Houston, Demi Moore, Michael Jackson, George Clooney

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙽𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

flexible mind. may go to college for drama, artsy jobs, etc. probably believes in religious miracles. probably loves traveling to places with water, so an island is your best bet/not a landlocked country. may be fascinated w/other cultures. in laws may have pisces traits(positive:loving, good listeners, considerate negative:manipulative/backstabbing, liars, addicted to substances, etc). try not to accidentally join a cult lmao.

celebrities:Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, Heath Ledger, Jimi Hendrix

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

(i’m gonna say “we” cause this is my placement☺️)

if you’re famous, fans will fantasize abt you/crush on you. will have a career where they can express themselves(acting, singing, painting, etc), water related(marines, scuda diver, etc) or one that helps ppl since neptune is selfless(mental health, hospital, paramedic, humanitarian, etc). we can’t decide what we want to do in the future 😂, might even have multiple jobs. we may be known as romantic, sweet/loving, selfless, naive and other pisces traits. we’re usually so creative, and charming that ppl copy off of us(ik that’s said a lot but it’s true), we’re 💫inspiring💫. on the bad side, our reputation can be messed with since ppl make rumors abt us, and neptune rules illusion. good at coming up w/ideas, and inventions. resourceful, but can be off track.

celebrities:Christina Aguilera, Kourtney Kardashian, Matt Damon, Bruno Mars

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙴𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

friends may have neptune/pisces influence. friends are usually toxic. also attracts damaged friends. watch out for who you hang out with/don’t put all your trust into certain ppl. friendship is very important to these ppl, and they’re usually the advice giving friend, or just the one that’s laid back tbh. a lot of your “friends” tend to be 🐍. usually shy as a child, but comes out of shell as they get older. ppl that may crush on you may have pisces/neptune influence often. altruistic, but strange.

celebrities:Zooey Deschanel, Christy Turlington, Zayn Malik, Brad Pitt

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

sleeps often. follow your gut feelings. usually empaths. stay away from addictive things. not confident. doesn’t express their feelings. focus on loving yourself, it’s okay to take time for yourself. clairvoyant. you’re a dreamer. enemies take advantage of your/pray on your weakness, are manipulative, and you may also feed of off each other’s toxic energy. enemies may have pisces/neptune in chart. you happen to be self-contained/shy.

celebrities:Megan Fox, Winona Ryder, Bradley Cooper, Prince

[mikeyelistsukasa]

How about a idol/famous? (Idk) au where Mitsuba, Kou, and Teru who loves to spoil their shy s/o to death, but they have a hard time smiling due to their past? And they will try anything to make their s/o smile no matter what, so they went to this random event where they finally smiled for the first time (hopefully this made sense 🥲)

(ALSO I LOVED THE DRAWINGS YOU MADE 🥺💖)

I can’t believe i needed a month for it. Mitsuba’s is so short because i lost the files for him 6TIMES i struggled w the request so i had to change it a bit so sorry abt that.not proofread

How the hell did u two end up together ??????

Srsly HOW

Ohhhhh you were sakura’s/tsukasa’s/kou’s friend how classssiccc🙄

Anyway-

Since we talk about Mitsuba it’s obvious that he would first say some nasty remarks every time he saw you sad

But that didn’t help(well obviously what did you expect)

Thats why he tried ACTUALLY offered to listen to your struggles

Wdym u don’t need noone to talk??? Then stop being sad>:(

Buying your favourites also didn’t help you awe :(

So he decided to do something he thought he would never do

Bring you to his favourite secret place

„Can i finally open my eyes?“

You say in a exhausting voice

„Not yet so stop nagging“

You mentally rolled your eyes

„Alright we are here“

„Finally! It’s about….time“

„I introduce you! My hiding spot✨“

„Mitsuba…this…this is amazing!“

„Ofc its amazing! My taste in places was always…beautiful…“

His mind was empty when he saw your face.your smile.

It was so beautiful!

„Thank you mitsuba! You’re the best“

After you gave him a small kiss on the cheek he promised himself one thing

He’d promise to make you smile like that more often

Now you two together make more sense 🤝

He also found out about by someone else (aka yashiro or teru)

This poor boy was kind of nervous approaching you

You thought he was nervous to talk to you because he found out who you are but-

That wasn’t the case

Like AT ALL

its just that he is sorta shy around new people(mostly girls)

And you kind of looked sad so he thought maybe it was a bad timing to approach you

You were relieved that it wasn’t the first thing you thought

As you two started talking more and more you two developed feelings for eachother

You liked how kou gave his best to make you smile

You two enjoyed baking together

But one day

You felt comfortable enough around him to reveal yourself as an idol/singer

The exorcist was too stunned to speak

This dude started treating you like you’re a queen and he went back to his shy self

Like a celebrity? Hanging out with HIM?

„Im probably dreaming“

*pinch*

…

He wasn’t dreaming at all

His crush a celebrity wow

Lord have mercy when you two started dating

Him being a bit insecure always thought that you don’t like being with him

Thats why he was bringing you lots of gift in some hopes

„S/o-san/kun! I baked you these heart shaped mini cakes! Please take them!!!“

„Oh thank you kou you didn’t had to…“

T-T mission failed you didn’t smile

More like the opposite you looked even more depressed

Its not that you didn’t like the gift its just it feels as if he made you these just because of who you are

God were you wrong

He came home disappointed when suddenly his brother teru popped up

„Yo kou. Look ive got 2 tickets from a secret admirer at school. Probably another fan.I don’t feel like going so i thought maybe you might want them?“

💡💡💡

„YES PLEASE GIVE ME“

„Haha calm down here“

It was 2 tickets for a… carnival?

Nonetheless he thought it was worth a shot

He looked at the data of the tickets and asked you if you could come to *address* at *idk insert some time*

You messaged back with a yes since you got curious on why he wants to see you so badly.

You dressed up not too fancy and went on your way

„Hey! So where are we going?“

„TO Aaaaaaa CARNIVAL!“

„Carn-? Woah hey no need to pull im coming im coming“

You two only took one step into the carnival and your eyes were already glowing from excitement

„Woah…“

„Follow me!“

Lets just say you had lots of fun on all those rides

Kou even won you a huge white rabbit! How adorable

Before you guys went home you two decided to go on the ferry wheel

When you two got on top of it you were able to see everything from up there.

Thats when you smile.

„Look! It’s that trashy ride that made me throw up hahahah…“

It felt like the whole time froze when he saw your smile

I mean you were so happy what else could you want more other than being on a top of a ferry wheel with your beloved one and a huge stuffed animal.

You looked into kou‘s direction

„thank you kou. I owe you one“

That smile was weak but it was a genuine soft smile

„I-uh uhm well no wait- it’s alright no problem hah-„

He will definitely cook teru his favourite meal after this ends

You two met at cooking class(let’s pretend tbhk has this)

„S/o L/n and teru minamoto“

Suddenly you felt like everyone was staring at you

Which they were

„Hey! Im teru nice to meet you. Im gonna be your partner for today. Im bad at cooking though so i will just try to assist you“

„I- uhm no Worries“

He cant be THAT bad at cooking right?

„WHY IS THE OVEN TURNED ON SUCH A HIGH DEGREE IT BURNED THE BUNS“

„Ah sorry my bad haha“

„why you little-„

*death stares around the room*

„Hah its alright we can make new ones“

It was fun to hangout with you so he decided to secretly keep having contact with you

*cough cough cuz of fans cough*

As much as he enjoyed your company he noticed that he never saw you genuinely smile.

He did question at least once

„Hey um are you alright?“

If you won’t tell him he would be concerned on what is going on but won’t push you into telling him

He is honestly the only one that won’t put lots of effort into making you smile

Buuut he will try eventually

But to no luck just like the other two

But one day one of his fans gave him 2 tickets to a show to look at the dolphins. As a thank you for helping them yesterday

The two tickets were meant for him and his brother kou and well

The thing is kou has detention

„i warned him. You will get caught in the girls bathroom eventually“

He laughed to himself remembering the scene

Thats when it hit him that he could invite you

You ofc not having anything to do exept be prepared for the next concert agreed

You didn’t know the tickets were given to him

So you eventually took your seats and waited for the show to start.

It was fun. But not fun enough to make you smile

He already lost all his hopes while standing in a line with you to pet the dolphins

Thats when a miracle happened

You smiled to yourself when the dolphin made a sound from your touch

„Do you think he likes it teru?“

„Hm? Oh yeah i gue𝚜𝚜...’’

Woah

So is that how you like when you smile?

Ngl this made the boy blush a little

Its like he fell for you again.

He sat down next to you to pet the dolphin with you.

“You know…”

“?”

“You should smile more often.it looks good on you sweetheart”

0///0

Thank you for your request sorry it took so long🥲 have a nice day and visit again!

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Sixteen. Quackity’s Call and Karl’s Hoodie

warnings: swearing word count: 2.7k

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist bts is now on wattpad!

a/n: sorry it's been two weeks since the last update T-T I was just swamped with school but I'm back with regular updates babeyyyy!! hope you enjoy this chap!!

"What the hell did you just tweet?" Dream laughed from the other side of the FaceTime call and Y/n covered her face with her hands.

"Words," she replied vaguely.

She smiled at the unamused face he showed the camera before a smile fought his way to his lips. "You're so annoying."

"Take it back right now. I'll cry."

"I can't see you so I wouldn't know if you did, so doesn't really bother me," he joked. "Go cry to Quackity..."

"Hey, don't make me feel bad about still not showing my face. I told you not to expect anything," Y/n sighed out.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I... sorry. I don't care if you show your face or not. Not like that! I mean, I would like you to because I think you're pretty... but I don't want you to think you have to! I just like spending time with you so whatever makes you feel comfortable is totally okay with me. As long as I get to talk to you and you aren't annoyed when I go on long tangents like this, geesh."

Y/n giggled and cuddled into her blanket. "You're cute when you ramble."

"It's cute that I make a fool out of myself?"

"Mhm."

"Thanks a lot," he said sarcastically before hitting his head on his desk.

"What was that sound?"

"Shame."

Y/n laughed and opened Discord as it made sounds at her. "Hold on a second," she requested before answering a call from Quackity.

"BUGSY!" he yelled with a laugh. "I'm live! I'm live!"

"Hello Quackity and his chat," she greeted.

"Quackity called you? Tell him to go away!" Dream begged from the FaceTime call, his face consuming the screen with a pout.

"Dream says hello too," she lied and Quackity laughed.

"Tell him I said you're hot."

"Shut up!"

Quackity cackled and Dream, who had pulled up Quackity's stream to hear both sides of the conversation, spoke up. "Tell him that I already know! I know! I want him to know that I know."

"Why is it such competition between you two?" Y/n rolled her eyes fondly.

Dream smiled at the camera. "Don't worry, there's no competition."

Y/n's face heated up and she shook her head.

"Just let me relish in the fact that I know something about you that he doesn't," Quackity said, not able to hear what Dream said.

"I'm telling him," Dream warned before pausing. "Are you okay if he knows I've seen you? Because his whole chat will too. I really wanna brag but I won't if it'll make you uncomfortable."

She quickly muted on Discord and nervously said, "I'd rather you didn't for now. You just saw a few days ago. I'm already overwhelmed, I don't want to see everyone freak out about it."

"Okay, I won't. I still wanna yell at him for hitting on you, though."

"What, why—?"

"Why is Dream calling me?" Quackity asked. "Dream, I'm live! I'm live! And talking to your girlfriend. What's up?"

Y/n unmuted on Discord as Dream joined the call. Chat was going to have a field day with what Quackity just called her.

"QUACKITY!!" Dream yelled.

"What?" he laughed.

"DON'T HIT ON BUG!"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, MOTHERFU—"

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HIT ON HER. BACK OFF!"

Y/n laughed as the two went back and forth, insulting each other without getting too personal.

"Dream! Dream, you're just jealous— SHUT UP! You're just jealous because you don't know what she looks like! That's it! So admit defeat because I do and you don't and-and I win!"

"First of all, that doesn't matter!" Dream rushed out. Y/n watched him through FaceTime as he talked passionately to his computer screen, his hands flailing in the air. "It doesn't matter what she looks like because she's beautiful anyway but second of all..." he paused and put his face in his hands before pouting at the FaceTime screen. Y/n laughed at him and the corners of his mouth tugged upward.

"Second of all, what? What, Dream?" Quackity challenged.

Y/n could see it on Dream's face: he wanted to tell Quackity but he wasn't going to. Y/n loved seeing him get jealous but she also loved seeing him brag about anything having to do with her, whether it was him telling everyone how they were best friends or about how good she was at GeoGuessr. So she grabbed her phone and showed her face. He sat up a little taller and beamed now that he could see her. "Hi," he said softly to her.

Y/n nodded and he raised his eyebrows for clarification. "Tell him the second thing, Dream," she said. "Go ahead."

"Yeah, tell me!" Quackity taunted. "There's literally no way for you to win this unless you—"

"I'm literally FaceTiming her right now, Quackity," Dream said, not taking his eyes off of her smile.

"Yeah, but you guys said before you FaceTime without showing your faces."

"Nah, we are. I'm looking at her right now," he informed, his voice now laced with a dazed tone.

"W-well I still saw her first!"

He snapped back into his defensive need to prove he was closer to Y/n than Quackity was. "Because you visited KARL!"  

"Oh my gosh, you both have seen me, so calm down!" Y/n laughed. "It's not a competition."

Quackity laughed abruptly and Dream smiled. "I definitely win this one, dude."

"Bugsy, run away with me," Quackity suggested and she shook her head.

"HAH! SHE'S SHAKING HER HEAD! SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU, QUACKITY!"

"SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU EITHER, DUMBASS!"

"Chat, this is what I have to deal with," she said to Quackity's chat as she pulled it up. "Multiple times a week. They're so annoying."

user53: pretty girl problems user42: do they want a tape measure to compare dick sizes like damn calm down guys user29: THIS IS SO FUNNY AND CUTE user72: BUGSYYYY user10: ARE WE IGNORING THE FACT THAT DREAM AND BUGSY FT user82: I KNEW he has seen her face user22: I mean they're def dating, ofc he's seen her??? user56: I want to have this type of problem user80: there should be a twitch section called "yelling about bugsy" because "just chatting" ain't cutting it   user46: DREAM DESCRIBE HER PLS user39: "at least i got to hug her when i visited" "let's be clear, you did NOT hug me" she really isn't touchy huh user66: how is dream gonna have a non-touchy s/o that man exudes touchy energy

"Quackity, why did you call me in the first place?" Y/n asked, interrupting the new argument that had come up, which was about their heights of course.  

"Oh!" He laughed. "Do you want to—Actually.... I should ask off stream. Chat, I'm going to mute for a few minutes. So hold on." He paused and laughed. "Okay, so... wait, Dream get out."

"What? No," Dream protested.

"GET OUT!"

"Why can't I listen??"

"It's a secret."

"That's not suspicious..." Dream scoffed sarcastically.

"It's not, just leave. Or deafen. Please."

"Please, Dream. Humor him," Y/n said.

"Fine! I'm deafening." He deafened and Quackity paused.

"Can he hear me on FaceTime?"

"I don't think so," Y/n said as she glanced at Dream's face on her phone.

"I'll test it. Bugsy, I'm in love with you!! Did his face change?"

"No," she laughed.

"Okay good. So," he started and she looked at his stream to see him with his hands pressed together like he was about to propose a business deal. "I wanted to ask if you wanted to read Bugity fanfiction together."

Y/n laughed abruptly and Dream looked up at her through the screen. She kept her words vague so he didn't know what Quackity had said. "Why on Earth?"

"For a stream, I mean! Not just us by ourselv—HAHA! It'll be funny!"

"I don't know..."

"You don't have to but I definitely think it'll be really fun. I've done a stream like that before and chat loves it. Also, it'll make Dream super jealous."

Y/n glanced at Quackity's chat to make sure they didn't hear what he was saying.

user39: CAN ANYONE READ LIPS?? user52: it looked like he said FANFICTION??? user68: DID HE SAY FANFIC?? PLEASE READ FANFIC TOGETHER user32: PLEASE HAHAH user51: as long as dream is there to yell at everyone user4: IN FRONT OF DREAM? QUACKITY IS BOLD AND FEARLESS user10: do you think he kicked dream out first because he looked like he was yelling when he first muted user72: not quackity forcing bugity to be real when we know dreamsy is

"What are you guys talking about, Bug?" Dream asked softly. "I'm bored."

"Hold on, Dream. Quackity, why would I want that?"

"Don't act like you don't want to make him jealous. You cannot fool me."

"Quackity!"

"Seriously, Bugsy! HAHA! Come on, it'll be so funny and he'll be so jealous and then one of you will have to admit to the other you like each other."

"That is not true."

"Bugsy..." Quackity said condescendingly. "I know. I know."

"You don't know anything," she told him.

"Fine. Then we'll do it to make chat entertained."

"As long as it's nothing sexual..."

"What are you talking about, Bug?!?!" Dream asked and she ignored him.

"Yeah, yeah, of course!" Quackity assured. "I'll make sure nothing is sexual or nsfw or bad in any way. Just the regular, like, regular ones."

"Then, yeah, sure. I don't see why not. When do you want to stream?"

"Are you free tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I can do that. It'll be fun."

"YES!"

user41: IF THEY ARE TALKING ABT FANFICS READ FOXTROT PLEASE HAHAHAA user57: most bugity fanfics are CURSED they're just crack fics user44: he's been muted why do you guys just assume that's what they're talking about geesh go touch grass chat user18: WHO SAID FOXTROT, NO DO NOT BRING THAT UP I WILL CRY IM STILL UPSET user99: "Poppies and Cornflowers" supremacy (dreamsy fanfic)

"Okay, I won't announce it until the stream starts so don't tell anyone. Especially Dream. I want him to be surprised too."

"You're obsessed with the idea of Dream and I being together."

"Bugsy, everyone is."

"Whatever..." she mumbled shyly.

"Okay, I'm unmuting stream so don't say anything. Tell Dream he can get back in here."

"Dream," Y/n said and he perked up. "You can undeafen."

"Thanks Bugsy, that's all. I'm going to end my stream now so I'm gonna leave but do you guys wanna do something after?"

"No, Bugsy and I are hanging out without you," Dream said.

"You know what? Just for that, I'm banning you so you can't watch my stream tomorrow."

"Like I want to anyway," Dream scoffed.

"You do. Bugsy will be there." He laughed mischievously.

"Bye, Quackity," Y/n said with a laugh. "Let me know what time tomorrow."

"Okay, okay, I'll make sure. Bye!"

He disconnected and Y/n looked to Dream, who was already looking at her. "Hi," she smiled. She disconnected from the Discord too, turning off her PC and focusing on the FaceTime call.

Dream stuck out his lower lip childishly. "What are you guys streaming tomorrow?"

"He told me not to tell you."

"And you're going to listen to him?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, it makes things interesting."

Dream paused and frowned deeper. "I'm jealous."

Y/n's heart quickened in her chest and she shook her head. "You have no reason to be jealous, bud."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

She set her phone up so it was leaning against her monitor and tucked her feet up on her chair. She nodded and rested her chin on her knees.

"Wait, what are you wearing?" Dream asked, squinting slightly and leaning towards his phone. "Is that a Mr. Beast hoodie?"

Y/n looked down. "Oh, yeah, it is! It's Karl's actually," she explained as she kicked away from her desk slightly, dropping her leg and raising her arms to show off the logo on the front.

"Oh."

"Oh? What's wrong with it?" she asked as she looked down at it and back at Dream. "You don't think it looks good on me?"

"No, it does." A mischievous smile pulled at Dream's lips before he said, "I just think you'd look better in one of my hoodies."

Y/n's hands immediately dropped to her collar, pulling it over her face to bury herself in it. Dream chuckled before whining lightly. "No, don't hide."

"You're annoying."

"Give me your address so I can send you one of mine."

"No, I have a perfectly good Karl nearby that I can steal hoodies from. He doesn't even notice," she dropped the soft material from her face. "The other day he asked where this one was while I was literally wearing it in front of him."

"Well, okay, but you'd look better in mine."

"Don't mess with my system."

"Bug," Dream pouted.

"Yours wouldn't even fit me! I bet they'd be too big."

"Only one way to find out..." he trailed off with a cheeky smile. Her silence prompted him to continue. "And if they are too big, it'll just be cuter. I don't see how this is a bad idea. Come on, let me send you some."

She deadpanned into the camera and he sighed.

"Fiiiine. Can I at least send you some of my merch?"

"Using me as free advertisement?"

"Yeah. That, and you apparently need other people's hoodies and I'd rather you have mine. But sure, we'll go with free advertisement."

"Well, I don't use face cam and I don't go outside so it's not really much advertisement."

"Then I'll send you some so I don't have to see you wearing Karl's hoodies?"

"Are you jealous of Karl?" Y/n teased lightly and Dream rolled his eyes.

"I'm not jealous of him."

"You so are! Dream is jealous, Dream is jealous!" she sang and his cheeks turned light red.

"I'm hanging up."

"Baby rage! Piss baby is baby raging."

"Y/n!" he protested with a laugh.

"Clay!" she countered. "It's okay if you're jealous of Karl. You know why?"

"Why?" he humored her with a fake disinterested voice.

"Because I'm jealous of Sapnap."

"What? Why?" he asked genuinely.

"He gets to see you baby rage in person."

He threw his head back. "Stop bullying me—"

"I'm kidding! He gets to cuddle with you anytime he wants," she said before she could think about her words.  

Y/n's eyes locked onto Dream as he tried to contain his smile, but he lightly bit his bottom lip and shook his head as it spilled onto his face despite his best efforts. "You're such an idiot."

"I'm dead serious right now. I bet you give really good hugs."

"Stop it..." he whined as he rubbed his eyes.

"What? You can offer me your hoodies just so you can see me wearing your clothes but I can't say you look cuddly? That's some bullshit, dude."

"No, you just—you can't say things like that."

"Why not? Are you actually not a hugger? I thought you were touchy but maybe not. Guess I'll just have to cuddle with Sapnap when we visit—"

"No," he said suddenly. "No, no, no."

"So you do give good hugs? Looks like it. No one that attractive gives bad hugs."

"Y/n!" His blush only deepened and she laughed.

"What is wrong with you?"

"No, what is wrong with you? Why— when did you get so bold?"

"What do you mean?" She laughed again, marveling at the fact that he was hiding his face now. "Hey show me your pretty face. What did I do wrong?"

"Stop saying things like that," he laughed, his voice shaking lightly. "What do you mean what do I mean? You never flirt like that!" He lifted his head again and looked at her.

"Sure I do!"

"Not to my face!"

"What, so when I go to Florida I'm not allowed to flirt with you? Only on Twitter? That's stupid. I'll get bored so quick!"

He shook his head, a sly smile creeping into his lips. "No, we won't get bored. I'll make sure of it." His smile gave her the feeling that there was a double meaning in his words.

"Oh, now you're being bold," she mumbled to herself.

Dream paused before saying, "I'm actually very excited to see you, Bug."

"Me too."

"I've been tempted to just fly out to you now but Sapnap stops me every time. He says it'll be a waste since there's only, like, two weeks until you guys come here."

"That's rude of him. I don't think any time spent together is a waste."

Dream's smile consumed his entire face. "I agree. That's why you should hang out with me instead of being on Quackity's stream."

"Oh, no, the stream is happening."

"At least tell me what it's about."

"Nope!"

"Then I won't send you my hoodies."

"Your merch hoodies," she clarified. "I'll just buy them then."

"Ugh, fine, you got me. I'm still sending them."

PREVIOUS | NEXT

other a/n: in case you couldn’t tell, the title is things dream is jealous of this time lol

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[whoviandoodler]

Thanks for not being negative on my post, it was a 2am rant that i didnt intend to be read by anyone but those who themselves werent too happy w the book, so im glad that you heeded the warning (also, dont ever apologize for ur language skills when its not ur first lang, if someone picks at it they're being an asshole (it seems great, but im an english major who has a lot of Opinions abt the hegemony of english and the assumption that knowing english perfectly is some kind of bare minimum, so it saddens me when i see other non-native english speakers apologize unnecessarily- own the fact you know more than one language and never apologize for how well or badly you know your 2nd, 3rd, whatever; the people who matter will be glad you know at least some of their language and have put in an effort to communicate with them, and entitled assholes dont deserve attention))

That aside, I have a pretty bad case of post-exams woozy brain, so i hope my reply will be coherent, and i hope it doesnt sound rude, i dont mean it that way, im just giving my perspective. I mainly want to explain that while yes, calling someone queer solely for being flamboyant is stereotyping (dandies are, i suppose, the main argument that comes to mind lol, lots of them were straight and a lot of ppl in history acting in ways we would consider flamboyant now werent seen as queer then), a lot of queer culture is using stereotypes and assumptions to be visible- think if u see someone with blue hair and large earrings; yes, they might well be cishet, but i will assume they are one of ours, and ill give them a compliment that they, if they are indeed queer, will read as recognition.

Especially considering a history of queerness needing to be hidden and only being expressed through signals that other queer people will understand- languages like polari in britain, the handkerchiefs you'd put in your back pockets, saying someone does or doesnt speak latin in some english schools. And some signals are more well-known and have been a more visible signal throughout ages- men with higher voices, who were 'vain', who dressed a certain way-, and were used to queer code characters when they weren't allowed to be canonically queer. Think ryan from hsm- hes flamboyant, and he loves theater, and ashton cucher or whatever that guy's name is; yes, these are stereotypical traits of a queer man, but its those traits that helped 'those who know know' see themselves on screen, and they were purposefully implemented by the writers for that sspecific purpose.

My point is, yes, howl is flamboyant, and yes, flamboyancy is a part of why i read him as queer. He's the definition of a poor little meow meow, he has a college degree, he loves his earring and his hair and his suits and spends exorbitant amounts of money to make things beautiful. He also has ADHD, and the link between neurodivergency and queerness is another thing added to the list (and you could say much the same thing for him being nd- am i allowed to say he's nd bcs his house is a mess and he knows exactly where he put what and if u move it he wont be able to find it? and bcs hes an overthinker and anxious and has to lie to himself in order to get things done? none of these things mean he's nd, but i see my experiences and the experiences of my nd friends in him, and i hence identify him as such bcs he as a character cannot be consulted on his opinions- he exists not as a person, but a mix of traits that can be interpreted in dif ways) . He doesn't want to be a part of the mainstream, he doesnt want to do things other expect him to do. I see part of queer culture in him, and i compile them all unconsciously and read him as queer- a flamboyant university graduate with no real wish in life but to be free of capitalism and pursue his dreams? i'm going to filter that thru my experiences and knowledge, and im going to read him as queer.

I had certain expectations of the narrative, and I didnt get them from it, and i'm so jaded to the stories that end in marriage as the happy ending and have aspects of the kind of romance depicted in the book that i honestly dont believe that ill read it again, or that id have a dif experience if i did. I did come into it expecting a dif thing to the movie, and it wasn't the lack of kisses that discouraged me from getting engaged with their relationship, or that it was different and more real (as i said, they had teeth in the book, which id hoped coming into it since char flaws are what adds depth to a story and more interestingly moves it forward), it was the fact that a relationship made of arguing and snippets of attraction and peace ending in marriage and procreation has never appealed to me either irl or in stories, and tho not exclusive to cishet relationships, it is something that's seen as worth striving towards in some parts of that culture.

It was admittedly my fault that I hadn't checked the date of the book before id read it, and that i expected something of that book that it simply wasnt meant to be, pulled by the queer atmosphere of the movie (i cant fully describe to u how much that movie means to queer people in my circles, and how much we relate to it and see ourselves in it, either bcs howl is gender envy incarnate and has bisexuality vibes thru the roof (i have a bi trans friend who is, essentially, howl), or bcs the vague magical atmosphere of it is inviting).

With that all said, i want to add a disclaimer that ure free to read the book as u like, and to see the characters as you like. The beauty of stories is that we all experience them differently, and i'm not going to knock your interpretation of it any more than i will my own; i will, however, contest the idea that reading a character as queer bcs they embody certain stereotypes of queerness is incorrect and somehow harmful or shallow.

I have and will go on to read a number of books written in times and places where queer rep wasn't and isn't allowed, or is/was stigmatized enough to be avoided outright, and reading those kinds of books with the fear of seeing a character as queer bcs they embody queer stereotypes but havent outright said it is a disservice both to myself and the author's potential intentions.

It's important to remember that chars arent real, living people, and that labeling them as queer or not queer based on what they do and dont do does them no harm like it would to a real, living person (think what happened with kit connor, for example, or what happens to cishet ppl who cant wear what they like bcs someone might keep questioning their identity and not believe their words bcs of it).

(this is a ramble and isn't complimentary, so if you're in this tag purely for positive stuff, please swerve around this post; you have been warned, so pls don't add negativity to this post either, thanks)

Just finished hmc (book) and i have so many conflicting thoughts about it. Like it was obviously very well written in terms of the worldbuilding and the characters and the plot but then with the romance it felt,,, so odd to me.

Maybe it's the fact that it's decades old, but it has that feeling of vagueness that classics and stuff often do, where I don't feel at all invested because it all feels surface level. Like Sophie and Howl clearly have a connection, but I felt like it was never explored in a way that tugged at my heart strings, it was more like they had the grounds for friendship and then bippity boppity they held hands and were getting married.

Which gets me to another thing- this felt very much like someone had taken a very interesting queer character and put them in a very heteronormative romance plot??? Like howl has such major queer vibes, but then he interacts with sophie and vice versa like they're the protags of every heteronormative straight romance book (if there weren't even making out to keep your attention on SOMETHING), and it just feels like they were done dirty even tho they are as the author intended them to be and saw them as.

Idk just... They're such interesting characters and I would have loved to see their love story if it weren't trapped in a heteronormative cage.

The rest of the story is just so incredibly fun and engaging that whenever this stuff popped up and they were forced to play into these roles it felt jarring and left me at the end wondering if I'd just ruined the experience I knew from the ghibli movie and wasted hours just to end up feeling neutral about the story.

[carduelism]

A collection of my thoughts after/during each chapter of The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt:

5/7/2022 - 14/8/2022

(Will contain spoilers, obviously)

Chapter One: Boy with a Skull

Jesus, I can already tell this is going to be a rough read for me. The start, the first line I believe, where he mentions his mother has set up my expectations for this book to revolve a lot around mother-hood and a relationship between a son and his mother.

WHILE I WAS STILL in Amsterdam, I dreamed about my mother for the first time in years.

As someone who has very strong ties to his mother and actively depends on her for advice and help I already know that this story is going to end up being super personal for me. (As well as the whole deadbeat father issue, though for me I’m still a little more attached to mine).

Theodore Decker, who I have nicknamed Little Guy for some odd reason, so far has been incredibly written and I am very excited for his character to be explored more in the rest of the novel. He so far he is definitely fighting for the stop spot of my top teen protagonist. He is a teen, flawed, anxious but also incredibly bright and not annoying or to standoff-ish (I find those traits very common when writing teens and it is so annoying lmao). Very very excited for more of Little Guy.

Also I love his mother, Ms Decker is what I will call her because I’m to lazy to recall a first name, even though I have knowledge that she dies I can’t help but appreciate her love and fascination for art. I aspire to be as knowledgable as her when it comes to discussing art pieces.

Chapter 2: The Anatomy Lesson

Ouch. This chapter really fuckin’ hurts, more than the last.

WHEN I WAS LITTLE, four or five, my greatest fear was that some day my mother might not come home from work.

The first line, once again, is all ready relatable which helped me immediately infer that this chapter would end up impacting me a significant amount.

Little Guy, Theo, helping the old man even when he himself was injured was absolutely beautiful. As I’ve stated before, I’m so glad that he isn’t just a bitchy little teenager and that he is actually shown to be decently selfless when it comes to the wellbeing of others.

Back on track to me being all angsty and sad about his mother though. Theo had so much goddamn hope that his mother survived the bombing of the museum, he had so much hope that he didn’t even stop to question if his mother was truly alive, he just ran home knowing that she would be there. The whole time he was waiting in the apartment waiting for his mother to come home it took everything in me not to cry though I have to admit I whimpered “No, Little Guy :(“ at some point which was cat judged me for.

I have not watched the film yet but I’m so excited to see the cinematography of this entire chapter (more specifically the scene where he gets the call about his mother’s status) because I just know that I’m going to get stabbed and bleed out in tears.

Chapter 3: Park Avenue

I haven’t finished the chapter yet but I’d just like to talk about how much I love Andy as a friend towards Little Guy. Like, I want him to be my friends because he sounds like a genuinely fun guy to be around.

Also like damn, the author definetly wasn’t afraid of saying ‘faggot’ lol. Not even 100 pages through yet but that already pulled out a full on slur lmao. I do doubt that it would be used again though, mainly because I really really hope that I don’t have to read about Theo getting bullied in depth.

…boys who tripped us and shoved us and slammed locker doors on our hands, who tore up our homework and spat in our milk, who called us maggot and faggot and dickhead …

I’m loving Andy but I want Boris now! I’ve heard about him and he needs to hurry up and be mentioned in the book, like come on man! I want to read about you being helplessly in love with Theo! (Boris and Theo’s whole thing has been the only thing spoiled to me so far, luckily.)

Back on Andy because something about him just completely messed up my reading schedule and I just have to speak up abt it.

the sleek little phone with an anime still of Virtual Girl Aki (naked, in porny thigh-high boots) on the lock screen.

Sir, Andy, my guy, we need to sit down and have a talk because I knew you would have a lock screen like that but I still prayed that he wouldn’t. The fact that it’s just straight up admitted makes me though more and as well as the fact that it just comes out of no where 💀 It was so serious—the possibility of Little Guy meeting some sort of family friend of his—but then this fucker pulls out his anime girl lock screen.

(Just read spoilers about him dying, sorry for bullying the dead boy lmao)

Chapter 4: Morphine Lollipop

I am up to just a bit into VI and of course I love Pips, I’m glad that she is okay and survived by a miracle but I’m all on board with her aunt taking her to Texas. Like yes queen, seperate the straights because Theo, Little Guy, this is not you. You just don’t know it yet.

Also also time for me to be more angtsy about my new found affinity with Little Guy’s daddy issues.

“Who knows? He ditched us.”

“Good riddance?”

“Well—” I shrugged—“I don’t know. Sometimes he was okay. […] There was a lot of yelling and stuff. It was mostly him doing it. But—” uncomfortably aware that I’d said more than I meant to—“it was mainly him making a bunch of noise. Like—oh, I don’t know, like when he had to stay with me, when she had to work? He was always in a really bad mood. I

This is the exact way that I think of my own father, make that of what you will, and I really despise how accurate and painful it is. What makes it so painful is that he wasn’t an ‘okay’ dad, he was a shitty dad and thats pretty evident. But since Theo was facing this abuse, a like me, he downplays it and just says he’s ‘okay’. HE’S NOT AN OKAY DAD LITTLE GUY! Now watch my continue to call my dad okay.

Just started XVII, by that I mean I’m like three paragraphs into it, and my god, HIS FATHER??

I stood frozen in the doorway. The voice was unmistakable: my father.

Mate I was just shit talking him and now he has appeared in the book, I goddamn jinxed it. If he dare puts up and act in front of the Barbours, acting all cute and stuff as if he’s a good dad, then I’m going to die right here right now. I really really hope he doesn’t get custody of Little Guy, like Hobie should be his new father please, not him. Praying to god that his father wont put a single hand of my boy, Theo.

Yeah, just finished the chapter, finished 1/5 parts of the book, and holy shit my boy is moving :(

Farewell to Andy, Kitsey, all the other Barbours, and maybe farewell Hobie. Idk the last line of the chapter was funky:

He pushed open the door, and I walked out of the house—for the last time, as I thought. But though I had no idea I’d ever be seeing him again, about this I was wrong.

Like, Theo! That’s really damn ominous my boy 😭 Why do you have to go see Hobie again and why are you so creepy about it. Do you need him to restore you a coffin because you murdered someone in the future? Theo????

I’m very excited for Theo to finally move and go to a new school because I really need some Boris right now and I’m tired of reading the book without him. Boris this part please.

Chapter 5: Badr al-Dine

Woo! They’re finally heading to Nevada which means more story and please please please means that Boris will introduce himself.

When Little Guy was thinking to himself about how he will miss Goldie and the other doorman but he doesn’t ever verbalise the thought because ‘it would come out gay’. Come on man, your internalised homophobia is showing as well as the toxic masculinity you probably gained from your father 😭😭

“I—” I was going to miss them, but it seemed gay to come out and say so.

Also like just as I began to think that damn, with a turn of events Theo’s dad isn’t an ass anymore and no longer an alcoholic, his dad had a change of heart and began to be an ass again. I had hope for you, Mr. Decker!

So… Little Guy is not very innocent and little anymore. He sure loves doing his drugs and drinking beer with Boris. He sure loves Boris. Little Guy has grown out of his nickname in only a few months, guess I have to start just calling him Theo again.

Chapter 6: Wind, Sand and Stars

The chapters are beginning to get ridiculously long so I think I’m only half way through this one but so much shit has happened lmao.

So Boris has a girlfriend, Kotku, who is eighteen, right? And then Theo comments how she is three years older than them so that makes Boris fifteen? Listen, I would maybe be okay if Boris was sixteen, it’s not ethical in any way but it is at least legal. Once again though Boris isn’t the person to go to if you need something done legally.

I love Boris but my god, if he was really and I would either be terrified of him (fifteen year olds are scary, okay?) or I would go out of my way to shit talk him everyday. Mate is a druggie so early into his life so I can tell it ain’t gonna get any better for him, poor bud. Actually nvm. Not poor bud, just remembered he said a racial slur twice. Was it in character? Yeah, I suppose, since he picks ups on english that strangers use, but was it necessary to include? No. Love ya’ Boris but you need to fix your vocabulary.

Alot of things happened when I stopped updating but let me scream about it in order:

Theo admitted that he and Boris have fucked. He was so defensive about it as well, not word for word but basically what he was saying; “I’m not gay, I swear, I’m just jealous about Kotku. No! Not because me and Boris have fucked before, I can’t even remember that! [insert a rough description about how it happened and describing an 0rg@$sm]”. This boy…

And yet (this was the murky part, this was what bothered me) there had also been other, way more confusing and fucked-up nights, grappling around half-dressed, weak light sliding in from the bathroom and everything haloed and unstable without my glasses: hands on each other, rough and fast, kicked- over beers foaming on the carpet—fun and not that big of a deal when it was actually happening, more than worth it for the sharp gasp when my eyes rolled back and I forgot about everything;

My guy… my boy… this is the gayest shit ever. I tried explain this to my mother as well (because when ever I mention a gay relationship in my book she is always convinced I’m just over-exaggerating and making everything gay lol) and it was awkward because I was like “um yeah so ma’ I think they are gay because they um-“ and then I just handed her the book and it was so funny because she was laughing at the fact that I can not say the word ‘sex’ in front of her without being embarrassed (something my father practiced with me lol, I can’t talk about anything sexual aloud anymore).

Jesus. I got a bit off-topic and personal but I’m back.

But next event in the story:

“Potter—” he followed after me.

“Yes?”

“There is something important I have to tell you.”

“Boris,” I said, turning, “what the mother fuck. What is it?” I said, as we stood and stared at each other. “If you have something to say, go on and say it.”

“Am afraid it will make you mad.”

“What is it? What have you done?”

Boris was silent, gnawing the side of his thumb.

“Well, what?”

He looked away. “You need to stay,” he said vaguely. “You’re making a mistake.”

When I was reading this I was gripping on the page (I’m actually reading a digital version so I was not quote gripping on the ‘page’, it was actually my bed sheet but that sounds like it belong in some smutty work) and freaking out. It didn’t hit and I didn’t even ask myself if this was about him being love with Theo and I just assumed it was about either more death, more debt or drugs. Glad it wasn’t lmao

Chapter 7: The Shop-Behind-the-Shop

Mediocre chapter lmao. This chapter was one of my fastest read throughs and nothing of severe note happened. Sure, Theo got temporarily adopted by Hobie and he might’ve had at least one actual conversation with Pippa (icky, get away from the woman Theo, I know what you are) but honestly nothing I was screaming about.

Chapter 8: The Shop-Behind-the-Shop, continued

Still mediocre and boring lol. Theo got into his weird school thing, good for him but jesus he got my anxiety going from the stress of waiting for an acceptance letter. He also found a hiding place for The Goldfinch but just gonna be honest here, shitty spot, like I wouldn’t trust that it hadn’t been stolen if it wasn’t constantly in my view.

Also like oh my god! His apartment is destroyed and he’s so fucking sad about ittt. Theo it’s gonna be okay :( I’m sure someone has your mother’s stuff. Having to hold back tears right now because my boyfriend keeps looking at me weirdly, he mustn’t see me cry over a fictional character (again)

Chapter 9: Everything of Possibility

This chapter already has me in shock; an eight year time skip? Really? Smh. We missed all the fun stuff like his first legal drink since his time with Boris (I’m sure Hobie wouldn’t have allowed him to drink while he was staying with his) and I suppose his time at school, like isn’t this dark academia? WHERE IS THE ACADEMIA

Wait but Platt is back and… both Andy and Mr. Barbour are dead?? Miss Donna skipped a lot of the fun stuff in this time skip, like Theo is learning his old best friend died a few months after his death. Theo is learning this way too late and I imagine he probably feels super guilty for not checking in on the Barbours when he first entered this city

Chapter 10: The Idiot

Donna Tartt went straight into this chapter and was like “yep, Kitsey and Theo are dating now and they have always been in love.” Like ma’am where are you getting this from. Kitsey and Theo being in love since childhood is even more of a stretch than Boris and Theo being in love since childhood.

Also Theo is being watch by people I’m going to assume are people Reeve had hired (Reeve’s men, probs gonna call em’ that) and this book is starting to get scary. Like what is Reeve gonna do to get The Goldfinch from Theo if not some form of abuse, manipulation or torture. A simple conversation with Theo no matter what will never end with him handing the painting over. Honestly even if Reeve threatened to kill his fiancé, my man honestly wouldn’t care much lmao.

Also Theo is currently look into a bar and I got spoilers that he and Boris meet in one so when ever a bar is mentioned from now on I just freak out and start to scream whenever one is mentioned. I’m a little fangirly (gender neutral) over them boys. He’s going in one now eeeeeekkkkk

OMG POTTER SCMFFHZDHDDHDNDN BORIS IS BACK BABBBYYYYY

HE WAS THE GUY OUTSIDE OF THE SHOP WANTING TO SEE THEO??? PLEASE HE WAS SO SCARED SOMEONE WAS OUT TO GET HIM AND IT WAS JUST BORIS WHO WAS WAITING A GODDAMN MONTH TO JUST TALK TO HIM. THEO UR SUCH A BAD BOYFRIEND FOR MAKING HIM WAIT SO LONG

Sorry. That was unprofessional, let me get serious again because who is this Myriam lady and why is even Boris scared of her. Also not this man biting his lip and seeming flustered around Theo, what a gay man he is.

Boris, Boris was scared to come back to Theo because he thought he would be mad. He thought Theo would be mad because he thought that he already knew that the painting was gone and that Boris stole it. Boris is an overthinker and it fucking hurts so much. I LOVE YOU BORIS AND THEO WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER TOO ITS OKAY BB BOY

Also the fact that Boris has stopped Theo from killing himself multiple times is fucking murdering me. He doesn’t want to loose him but Theo can’t see that and feels as if he is alone. Fuck me mannnn this book is so sad now. Boris asking Theo about what that cut was on his face and you cant tell me that Boris wasn’t praying that Theo didn’t cut himself on purpose. For sakes of more angst this chapter, I need Theo to try to kill himself again but then Boris saving him for one last time.

Bro, why did Kitsey think it was a good idea to cheat on her boyfriend WITH HIS BULLY. What were your thoughts my dear Kitsey, WHAT WERE YOU THINKINGGGG. My girlie is in a silly goofy mood and the ice is getting thinner. If Theo had a menty b over this then booooo Kitsey, you suckkkk, you suck Tom Cable’s dickkkkkk

So he confronted her after Boris told him to do so (very submissive of him /j) and my god… the result to me is quite amusing. The fact that Kitsey thought it was okay to continue to see Tom up until her and Theo’s marriage is absurd. Listen, I know some shit is going down that I don’t think I’ve quite gotten to but I need to punch Tom because it’s all 100% his fault but Kitsey my girlllll you should’ve told Theo about this shit before it blew up.

During the confrontation may I just say, Theo was micromanaging the way he spoke, reacted, and expressed his emotions and yeah, me too bud. Hyperfixate on trying to keep calm when you were obviously not.

ALSO PIPPA IS BACK!!!! MY BABY GIRL!!! The way that Theo always describes her hair is quite hilarious though. Donna, you can’t keep describing her hair because you are eventually going to run out if words. Idc if Theo is obsessed with her hair, the descriptors are starting to get tiring. (Also he commented on how she had bitten down her nails or something and related it to how Boris did the same. Stop comparing your lovers to your boyf riend challenge!!!)

Um Theo just recalled him at 16 dating a 27 year old. Theo… are you good? You seem totally desensitised to this shit because of Boris and Kotku but DATING SOMEONE ALMOST 12 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU IS NOT GOOD! Theo baby boy you need to go to a therapist for more things than just the bombing, you were fucking groomed!

He’s currently at his engagement party (ik, why is it still happeninggg my guy she cheated on you) and some rando creepy dude is here but so is BORIS! Boris is fun and good and eeeeeeekkkkk I love him.

Chapter 11: The Gentleman’s Canal

I keep forgetting this is here and I keep ranting on discord instead of here so let me just catch you up on my thoughts on this chapter rq

I’m up to a section in The Idiot where Pippa and Theo are on a date and it’s so interesting… Pippa is another survivor of the bombing that almost killed both her and Theo and I feel like that love is so special to both of them but Theo is translating the nostalgia of their connection as something romantic when it truly isnt. Theo has this thing, I’ve noticed, where he thrives for nostalgia. Reason why he started dating his fiancé? She was his bestfriends sister during childhood. The reason he continues to do drugs even after Boris influenced him to do so? Sure, probably addiction but also the addiction to nostalgia. The reason he is in love with Pippa? Nostalgia. She reminds him of the last moments of his life when everything was truly in order

In addition to this, they play Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex during this scene in the movie which at first I thought was very odd (homophobic? Erasing his relation with a man and in turn making him crush on a girl?) but it definitely is used in a platonic way or at most from Theo’s perspective (where he displays his obsession with nostalgia as romance). *’sharing secrets with each other since we were kids’* very nostalgia based romance of you Theo

Chapter 12: The Rendezvous Point

So basically, Boris who was always characterised as the one of the ONLY characters to not simply give Theo and then push him away but instead gave him actual affection pulled a homophobia AND GAVE HIM DRUGS AND PUSHED HIM AWAY AHHHHH🔫🔫🔫 Theo is all sad about that (he was kinda happy abt the drugs but he’s an addict leave him alone)

And then shit got really bad right

Theo was aimlessly flicking through the television channels and he ended up watch a film his FATHER acted in and that triggered him to think about HOW MUCH HE IS LIKE HIS DAD and I’m literally going to die because me too Theo Decker!! Daddy issue mf bitch

Anyway I think he is gonna try to kill himself now so thats fun!

…I only said he was trying to kill himself as a joke but I think its serious now guys

I want to die,

RIP comfort chara 🤭🤭

Hahah heheh so cute Donna Tartt dont make him do this please

Act of rebellion. Life: vacant, vain, intolerable. What loyalty did I owe it? None whatsoever. Why not beat Fate to the punch? Throw the book on the fire and be done with it? There was no end in sight to the present horror, plenty of external, empirical horror to line up with my own endogenous

WOAH MY MAN JS WRITING THEIR LETTERS ALREADY HUH WHAT SLOW DOWN THEO HOLY SHIT HUH HUH WDYM IF HE ACTUALLY DOES THIS IM DONE

He’s talking about how his body feels like a marionette to his own actions and I literally cant rn

*insert picture of marionette from fnaf bc im to lazy to find one rn*

So he survived and he just compared Boris to his father…

Something in me had gone dead at the sight of him, almost like with my dad when I was a kid,

MY MOTHER WAS JOKING ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY PLEASE

Ten pages left 🤠 I am so fucking sad holy shit please dont finish I dont want this to end when this ends I am going to scream and I cant do that its 12:03 at night c’mon

3 pages…

Whoah im emotional and still reading but Screensaver by Wilbur Soot just started playing and my god I am litearlly dead. I have not heard this song in ages and it’s reminding me of the start of my MCYT phase but Im reading about the end of something im crying stfu Wimblur Shit

2 pages…

1 page…

I cant read it, at least right now. It’s like the square of chocolate, yk, I want to eat it but then it would be gone and I cant enjoy it after that. I dont want this to finish but here I go.

I have started the final page

Shit.

Closed the book.

It’s done Im so fucking upset 😭😭🤮

Anyway lets ignore that fact that I will never be able to experience this for the first time again and focus on what Mr Decker said

And—I would argue as well—all love. Or, perhaps more accurately, this middle zone illustrates the fundamental discrepancy of love. Viewed close: a freckled hand against a black coat, an origami frog tipped over on its side.

A freckled hand—Pippa’s presumably—against a black coat—Boris?—an origami frog tipped over on its side—Pippa.

OR YOU SEE MAYBE THEO COULD BE BORROWING BORIS JACKET IN A ROMA-

sorry.

No but I cant wtf is this ending Theo this isn’t good enough baby boy.

I am sad but guess no more saving this post to my drafts anymore. The Goldfinch is done.

[ajdrawshq]

ok im tired as hell and its too gotdamn warm for me to actually sleep so im gonna list off some of my omori thoughts til i pass out

i got the good ending bc i was following a guide bc i Cannot stand full screan surprises n the guide was good but the one (1) thing it doesnt remind u to do daily is water Basils plants. so. im doing all of that again now

i love the fucking characters in the game theyre all so neat n alive. i keep wanting to say im attached to someone specific but im having a hard time picking favorites theyre all so Good

theres a lot like a Lot of instances where Kel is hinted at being the lesser sibling and just the least important out of his friend group and its only really stated in an obvious kinda way once n like. he seems totally fine most of the time and he doesnt seem down often or for long at all in unrelated moments but for these he doesnt seem to even acknowledge it. and of course the others dont seem to think of him as less important which is Good but does he like. have a problem with this. i wanna say hes hiding it but i dont Know bc hes fucking good at it. i might make a whole post on this later actually

seeing Hero cry hurt more than i thought it would and seeing him jump right back to smiling seconds later every time made it Worse. its the older sibling thing

one detail i really like is that while some of the scenes are meant to be funny to the audience, Hero's fear of spiders isnt usually made fun of (the only time i can remember is when Mari apparently snuck bugs into his desk to see his reaction lmao). otherwise hes taken seriously and the others try to push him to overcome it someday, not Now but its something he should work on himself. and the bit w Kel removing a spider from their room, all while saying what hes doing exactly and reassuring Hero that the spider was gone, was a sweet thing to see compared to all the other media where siblings would throw it at the other or something yknow its just nice

Aubrey Good. thats the post

Basil

i dont even know where to fuckin begin with Basil (affectionate) this kid has Problems

seriously theres so much shit going on w these kids thats left unsaid but is worked into the environments or even just what they Dont say its genuinely incredible. beautiful characterization and worldbuilding

the real world sections of omori feel less like im playing as Sunny and more like im guiding this child in a gentle but assertive manner to Do Shit. like ok kiddo brush ur teeth and then we're gonna go outside today. yes its good for u trust me ive been there anyway ur buddy is at the door, go have fun!! oh btw i found some parents who will literally pay u to help their kids with homework. yes ur doing that. its free money dude cmon

cant believe omori lets me live my true dream job (organizing things in short bursts for money)

on that note the music that plays for the tool organizing and the flyswatting jobs might be my favorite track in the game and i have no idea why. its like the audio equivalent of the word blorbo

i wish there was a fucking therapist in this town bc god knows id drag em all there

my brother came in during one of the endgame parts n thought Sunny was a girl when Basil was teasing him abt his crush on Aubrey n went "aw yeah you cant escape the gay even here" (not in a derogatory way) n it took me so off guard i forgot to correct him. hes right tho actually

"when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie thats omori" is the funniest joke that couldve ever come out of this game i want to personally thank whoever did that

showing all the different ways the kids reacted to grief and trauma and acknowledging that some were more harmful to themself or others and thats just how people work sometimes n they all make amends n agree to support each other in the end and begin to heal despite it all. h

also the moment that i realized the dream world was in fact a dream world made by Sunny and. everything it represents. his desires. his fears. dude

[blooming-periwxnkle]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks....

Hii,this is my first ask so apologies for going overboard w some of them 😭😭😭 and there are some spoilers for alot of them.

Anyways these are my faves (in no particular order because I am amazingly indecisive)

Let's start

Ciel Phantomhive (Kuroshitsuji)

FIRST,LOOK AT HIM HE'S SO ADORABLE AND LOVELY,IS IT POSSIBLE TO NOT LOVE HIM??

Well, the main reason I loved him since the beginning was because he was a child character who gave me the bratty little sibling vibes btw,and I absolutely love such characters, but his character is much more than that. He is a genius seeking revenge for his family,he is cold and ruthless at times,but beneath all those actions,he deeply cares for whatever family he's left with. His intentions aren't the most noble ones unlike the other characters that I have mentioned, and his motives are personal.

But all in all,he is a child whose childhood was cruelly stolen from him too,and he did what he could to survive in their world. And honestly I do admire that.

Also I love although he acts very adultlike,eg: wearing high heeled boots,using canes,speaking w/o any nonsense,there are little moments where he does remind us that he is after all that,a child.

Lacie Baskerville (Pandora Hearts)

Tbh I adore most of the characters from pandora hearts, but Lacie is most probably my fave.

Through the lens of a certain character,she initially appears as the picture perfect,manic pixie dream girl. Though in reality,she appears to be fickle and rebellious(which is not entirely a lie,lol).

However,she is a deeply empathetic person. Because of her existence as a child of ill omen,she is pretty much destined to live a short life,and faced persecution from the world due to that. But inspite of all that, she never resented her fate or the world,instead she thought that she was one of those who were able to experience both the beauty and the cruelty of the world. She was able to empathize with the feelings of the core,and was able to sense the loneliness of the core,the same core that was one of the reasons behind her terrible fate.

She's also extremely critical of the things that are said and did not accept them without question, and tried to find the reason behind them an open minded queen smh . Such characters are really refreshing imo.

We did not see much about her tbh, her role wasn't big in the plot as an active character, and most of the things we know abt her comes from the eyes of others, Lacie is very much just a memory,but a beautiful one, imo.

Suwon( Akatsuki no Yona)

This is getting long I am sorry😭😭

ANYWAY

Well,when I started YoTD, I was aware of what happens in ep 1,and I pretty much expected (from the reviews and all) Suwon's character to be the usual tyrannical prince who takes away the throne from the poor princess, and well, the anime certainly proved me wrong. Despite his first appearance as the one who killed the king, the anime does prove that he did not do that w/o any reason, he tries to improve the status of his country and to unite the 5 tribes, his thoughts during the coronation scene weren't anything like : "I finally became the king after 10 years and avenged my father" (like he told Yona how much he looked forward to the day he would finally kill Il) or something,but his first thought was about improving the status of his nation, and to make it strong enough to fight against all the looming dangers outside the border,like Sei,Kai empire etc, and to unite the 5 broken tribes. Before that,he also fondly remembers his friends,Hak and Yona. He remembers the flashback of Hak telling him about being his right hand later on, he refers to Yona as "the girl who provided him warmth",and how he threw them aside for the whole thing. I think that does speak a lot abt his character, he did love his friends, he also loved his nation and he has to move forward for the sake of his country. He is incredibly selfless when it comes to his country,and that really does move my heart. Also his character is,very appealing imo? He is relatable because in a manga of supernatural humans and a literal god incarnate,he is the one who aspires for the power of humans, not all of us can be chosen gods from a prophecy or smth, he tries to move forward with what he has,the power of the people, all of this really did win my heart back in ep 6 tbh😭.

He's also not a saintly good pure white lotus sort of character, he has to dirty his hands for what he wants,but he still tries to keep it to the minimum. He does not go for unnecessary bloodshed,like the whole deal with the fire tribe's rebellion where he tries his best to keep the casualty as less as possible.He's intelligent and well versed in the matters of human nature, and despite all this talent he still does lose at times.

He's curious,and his silly,goofy moments are such a treat.

He's also very gorgeous and beautiful btww😭😭

Vanitas of the Blue Moon/Luna( Vanitas no Carte)

They have me screaming over them since they appeared 😭😭😭

Tbh their character is mostly shrouded in mystery,but from what we've seen,they're a kind,a great parental figure to two very traumatized children. Also I feel they did do something that's terrible initially but they regret it deeply now? But all that is just a question for now.

Also I love their clumsy attitude 😭😭 it's super adorable and how they were just sulking after vani insulted their cooking,their whole relationship is so wholesome and sweet yet painfully sad😭 but Ig that's MochiJun for you.

Noé Archiviste (Vanitas no Carte)

He,he's an absolute dork okay😭😭😭 but not one without the trauma thoo :")

Firstly,he isn't like most of the other vampires at all,who think humans or vampires from the blue moon clan suck,on the contrary,he thought that the blue moon looked really beautiful. He is kind,sweet,childlike but greatly determined to protect the one's he's left with. But the reason I adore him is definitely his simple and sweet behaviour,it's reallyy refreshing to see characters like him tbh. He has gone through a lot of trauma,but that did not change him as a person entirely,which is very admirable(although that might not be the case when the manga ends,all thanks to MochiJun ^-^)

Hotaru Tomoe (Sailor Moon)

I love her sweet,quiet and reserved personality,and also how this sweet,quiet girl straight up holds one of the most dangerous powers of the whole series. And her intro was soo cool and chilling. And she was so brave and strong despite going through so much trauma,she was really incredible. Also her friendship w ChibiUsa was soo sweet and wholesome. She's also such a young fashion icon.

Lelouch vi Britannia (Code Geass)

HIS INTELLIGENCE,CHARISMA,AND PERSONALITY IS AMAZING. I can't talk abt the ending w/o spoiling it entirely but that increased my love for him so much😭😭 . Also his relationship w the characters in the series,like he is cold and calculating but not entirely ruthless and evil,he's still compassionate towards those he cares about,and my fav part abt him is his relationship w his little sis whom he practically raised despite being a child himself,and despite going through sm trauma, it's honestly just so admirable. Also his relationship w his best friend,it's just so heart touching. And I love all his moments where he is just straight up terrible w anything that requires physical strength lol,and he's also incredibly handsome as expected of CLAMP really.

William James Moriarty (Moriarty the Patriot)

Again, first,he's really admirable considering how he thought of making his country better as a child,like,despite all that he went though,he still thought of others. I also love how he is aware of the fact that what he's doing isn't justice but something that needs to be done,something that's necessary, and how he is very much aware that the methods he uses,regardless of what his goal is,are still questionable. Also love how ever since he was a child,he was very much the "elder sister" figure for everyone in the orphanage,and his relationship with his brothers,it's so heartwarming😭😭. AND THE FACT THAT HE'S JUST A THEATRE KID AT HEART,and the way the manga deals with him is amazing imo.

Nie HuaiSang (Mo dao zu shi)

MY MDZS FAVEE

ok firstly,nhs is just,super relatable to me? Idk how to explain it but it's something very much related to yk the asian student struggles in a traditional society, although he completely disregards his education lol,but the way he behaved in the past timeline,it's kind of relatable to me. He's also very much of a drama queen who faints in any serious situation  like yes sir you're living my dream life. But aside from that, I feel like he is one of the most..idk but he used to be one of the most normal teens imo, like WWX has this terrible self sacrificial attitude, we don't need to start on JC's issues, JZX was arrogant(tho I don't blame him), LWJ was kept on a pedestal by his clan and was thus very much isolated from the other ppl of his age,but him? He's very much like how most of the teenagers are, his main concern isn't smth very great,but just clearing his grades and leaving the CR for good. He wants to follow his hobbies, and to live his life w his loved one's,although he is still certainly not blind to the ways in which the world works.He's also very open minded when it comes to the unorthodox ways,eg:his support towards WWX's ideas.

He's also self accepting,which is a great attribute imo.

In the present timeline tho,yes he's the one hidden behind the shadows who upgraded from catching pretty birds to [redacted] ,the one who manipulated most of the events of the present timeline,all that is also really cool . I still dearly miss CR NHS tho :(

Raven (Teen Titans)

She was my childhood obsession bc she was literally the coolest one in the group imo. Dark powers,mysterious,gothic fashion and quiet,reserved personality. Also her sarcastic sense of humor?It's pure gold , she's really mature and calm in most of the situation,and was like so different from the rest of her group. Her mysterious nature was what primarily drew me towards her,but the fact that she is soo powerful? I LOVE IT SM BC SHE WAS A POWERFUL FEM CHARACTER WHO AT THE SAME TIME WAS VULNERABLE AS WELL(yes there are indeed many characters for whom the shoe fits,but she was pretty much the 1st one for me,so she's really special).

Thank you for asking and sorry for the delay as well as sorry for going overboard with a few of them,hope you have a great day ahead (o^▽^o).

[bowensbyrams]

hi!! crush anon here and i recently got a heart locket necklace and decided to fill it w/ dried flowers from a bouquet my friend gave me and i got super soft thinking abt what if dylan got you something like that as a gift but the flowers were from like y’all’s first date or something omg 😳🥰🥺

dylan’s used to being on the outside, it’s pretty clear especially with him being from yukon. this is totally something he’d be into. this is such a simple gesture but so significant and beautiful! just like he is. i love it! and now i want it 🥺

and as this is probably one of my favourite asks i’ve gotten so far, i decided to turn it into a blurb! i changed it a little bit so it can fit more into my idea! hope you like it ✨ it’s small but it’s dylan day and i really wanted to do something special to mark it. it’s not proofread so i’m sorry in advance 🥴

Something is about to happen and you just know it. Your boyfriend has been acting all weird for days, ever since you two got to Whitehorse but you’ve been playing it cool because 1. Dylan is terrible at keeping secrets and will eventually spill it ou; 2. you don’t want to ruin whatever he’s planning by asking what’s going on. But it’s been almost a week and you’re starting to worry about it. Does he regret bringing you here? No, if he did he’d be treating you badly... Right? I mean, he hasn’t exactly changed his attitude, he just seams nervous.

As you’re debating, Dylan enters the room you’re sharing and smiles. You’re laying on the bed with a book in your hands, even if you’re not concentrated at all.

“Hello, beautiful” he says as he approaches the bed “Put some hiking clothes on, we’re going out”

“Where?” you’re really confused at the moment. You’ve been doing a lot of outdoor activities with his brothers and dad but hiking has not been on the list.

“It’s a surprise!” Dylan says and goes to his wardrobe to get his clothes.

“Are the boys coming with us?” you ask as you get up and start getting ready.

“Nope, just you and I” he answers and you leave the subject.

You’re not a big fan of hikes and Dylan knows this but you’ve been dying to see what Whitehorse has to show. You’ve been to lakes and parks, and it’s a beautiful place.

As you two are ready, Dylan grabs a backpack from the kitchen counter and you two leave the house. It takes about 20 minutes to get to the right place and the hike seems tough.

“Hmm, Dyl... I don’t want to ruin the party but I don’t like the looks of it” you say staring at the inclination in front of you. There are two families around you two but far enough so you all can enjoy the privacy.

“Babe, c’mon. You can do it! I’ll be right here. You’ll see it’s not as bad as it looks once you start and we can always stop if you want” he says with a smile and kisses your forehead “But I promise the view from up there will make it all worth it”

You decide to give it a try and, even tho it was as hard as you thought it would be, he was right. The view is incredible and you feel great for accomplishing the hike.

“It’s beautiful” you say with a smile.

“I told ya’”

You two take in the view for a few moments before Dylan opens his backpack, getting your attention.

“What are you up to?” you ask but he doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he pulls a small box from the back pocket of the bag and your heart stops for a few seconds before you realize it’s too big to be a ring.

“I don’t know if you keep track of this kind of stuff but it’s been a year since we went out for the first time” he says with a shy smile “I remember you were wearing a summer dress with flowers printed all over it so I decided to get you a small bouquet”

“You did. I think I fell in love with you at that moment” you say with a smile and Dylan blushes a little, laughing.

“I was so nervous. And I felt the same. I knew you were the one in that same day, even though I was really scared to admit that” your boyfriend says and looks down at the box “The thing is, you gave me a flower from that bouquet when I took you home and when I tried to deny it, you said...”

“You can give it back to me in a year when we go on our 30th date” you say it with him and you two laugh.

“It’s a very specific number and I’m a big fan of math so I had to do it. I somehow managed to keep you for a year and we’ve had exactly 30 official dates” he says with a huge smile and you feel your eyes burning because you can’t actually believe he remembered all this “The 30 dates part was kinda easy with my job but keeping you... I’m surprised”

“Why?”

“Because you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed about and way too good for me. And I screwed up a few times but you never left. Even with the long road trips and me being away for a lot of time, not being able to take you on proper dates, you stayed. I love you. More than I ever thought I’d ever love anyone. And that promise I made a year ago...” Dylan answers and opens the little box, where a pendant with a little flower inside is resting “Is only the first that I made and the first I have fulfilled”

“Dylan!” you say in complete shock and he smiles.

“The next one I’ll make is: in three years, we’ll be back here and instead of a pendant, I’ll be giving you a ring”

You look at your boyfriend, the most beautiful and amazing man you’ve ever met, and your heart is filled with all the best feelings one can feel. Love, joy, excitement... You love him with your entire being.

“And I’ll be right here to say yes when you do”

[cassyapper]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!