#i have a full time salaried job but i try to read as much as i can in between my hours

[deadtower]

if you have writing you’d like a comment on/feedback on/whatever else drop it here!! i know writeblr is having a tough time right now bc No One Want To Work Comment so if i can help alleviate that in any way i’d love to

[darry-queen]

How much Darry and Soda would make modern day and if it would be enough to pay for at least the three of them: (note this may not be incredibly accurate and while yes I did do research while calculating this shit it wasn't super in depth! feel free to correct me on any and all mistakes you notice and feel free to also give your own opinions!! Much love!)

Starting with Darry's:

Before I get into number this is all assuming that Darry works exclusively the hours allotted to him while missing no work, he'd have a 5 day work week at 40 hours which is standard practice in the United States, except for his part time job which he'd be working 25/h a week (i talk about this more later just continue reading) also I'm not giving them any kind of insurance. Sorry! Lol!

Starting salary of a roofer in Oklahoma is $14/h with the average being around $15/h. Assuming this Darry will be getting around 30k a year. I'm going to be generous and say he works for a good company and has a strong union so I'll give him a end of year bonus as well ($200-$800)

His weekly pay would be around $550-$600

This would be taxed though! Using a taxing calculator (bc I'm not doing all that math babeee) He'd be payed around $500 a week.

Darry also canonically has a second job! Though it is never really talked about, not even mentioned whether it's part or full time. I'm just going to assume, generally, that it is probably a part time job that pays minimum wage. (I'm aware that there are many popular hc's as to what this job is I'm ignoring those lol) now I don't live in Oklahoma but I do have personal experience with working part time and it fucking sucks. They have you working only slightly less then a full time employee so they do not have to give you full benefits. It is an incredibly fucked up and exploitative practice.

Something to note is that Oklahoma allows part time employees to be payed half minimum wage the first 90 days of employment when under the age of 20. I do not think I will include this in the calculation because even though Darry would be 19 at the time of his parents death I think he would be 20 not long after and I do not care enough to look into this law to include it in my calculations! Just wanted to mention it because?? What the fuck Oklahoma?

Anyway, part time would have Darry working 25 hours a week for $7.25/h which would be around $180/week. After taxes he'd make $160/week getting him to $660 a week.

Finally, what everyone was waiting for.... doordash fucking driving baby. Considering he lives in a populated area I am going to be generous and say he manages to get around $20/h from doordash driving. Assuming he does this on the days he doesn't work part time (so the other 15 hours) he'd make a whopping 16k extra a year OMG!!

As for any money he'd earn from the state for guardianship of Pony and Soda: Idk! It's kind of confusing trying to figure out Oklahoma giving shit out for this because fostering and guardianship are two dif things and I'm almost certain Darry would have Guardianship over his siblings, not fostering them. So I'm just not including it: he may have received a check upon first becoming their guardian but since that is a one time thing I'm not going to include it in my final calculations (i know this is kinda contradictory for giving Darry a bonus for his roofing work but IDC IDC IDC IDC I AM NOT PUTTING THAT MUCH EFFORT INTO THIS (NOTE I FILLED OUT A MOCK W2 FORM TO GET A ROUGH ESTIMATE OF WHAT DARRY'S TAX RETURN WOULD BE BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CARE))

All of the above considered: Darry is making $960 a week. Wow!

Now for Sodapop!

Soda I'm just going to copy paste what Darry's theoretical part time job would be because it's almost time for me to go to bed and I couldn't find any special rules for 16< year olds, so he'd be working 25 hours for $7.25 which after taxes is again $160

In total him an Darry combined are making a good healthy $1120 a week on average. Probably more if you consider Darry going insane with doordash/overtime! Overall a good $4480 a month

GREAT NOW TIME FOR EXPENSES!!

Expenses Include:

Mortgage payments

power bill

water bill

natural gas

car payments (maybe)

car insurance (maybe)

fuel

food

phone payments

internet bill

probably more I can't remember off the top of my head

OKAY NOW explaining the maybe's rq

You can just, not pay for car insurance. It's illegal, but when you're poor it's not like you can really care about the legality of certain things. Sometimes, it's eating vs car insurance, y'know? Especially because Darry is only 20, that shit is going to be expensive. And the car was def under his dad's name previously so he also def doesn't have any history. I'mma be generous though and say that he does have CREDIT history, which following my own car insurance premiums: my man is going to be paying like, $400 a month. and trust me, I'm being generous here. This is also for liability only. crazy right? With that considered, if I can not get Darry's salary to work with the rest of his expenses I'm saying he's driving without insurance. Hope you understand.

Now for the car itself, it might be payed off already might not. Again it's almost time for me to go to bed so I"m not willing to double check the book to see if car payments are ever mentioned. If they are I'll come back and fix this another time but for now. I'm not including it.

As for the gas for this theoretical truck? I'm going to put it from $250-$300 a month based off of what Reddit car owners said on how often they have to get gas for their own trucks. Great!

OKAY NOW FOR THE REAL EXPENSES! The average cost of utilities in Oklahoma, Tulsa specifically, is $270 a month for electricity, like $130 a month for natural gas, and for water $100 a month. Now you're probably saying, "Paya, isn't that a little high?" to which I'd say, they have 4 (presumably more) other boys coming around almost everyday. SO I feel it's fine to rate that shit on the higher side of things.

Before I forget: the mortgage payments!

This one is kinda fucked! I have no idea when the Curtis parents bought the house in canon. If it was after, or before Darry was born, etc. Because of this you can kinda just make hc's for this. The reason I say this is because obviously the housing market now is VERY different from the one in the 40s-60s which is when they'd have had to buy the house in cannon. In fact, I'm not even entirely sure they own the house in canon I'm just assuming right now! Like, if you're making a modern au: feel free to say that they're renting! Like who really cares about it? I'll even calculate it here for you so you have a frame of reference: Assuming the house is at least 2 bedrooms 1 bathroom it's gonna be around 1.5k a month. If you want to say they're paying a mortgage though, I'm going to assume based off the little data I could find of average home cost in 2004 (I'm assuming the house was bought around the time of Darry's birth) we're looking at somewhere between 150k-250k. I'm going to low ball it though because I think Oklahoma housing prices are generally cheaper and I'm going to assume they'd go for something affordable over something large. So I'll say 175k! Average interest on a home loan in 2004 was around 6%, with a 20% downpayment Darry will be paying 1k a month for the mortgage. Not that bad!

Phone bill is p cheap around 100$ feel like you may be able to play around with this. Like maybe they're paying for Johnny? Who knows not me I want to go to bed!

Food is like so fucking expensive now tbh. I pay $300 a month on grocery shopping a month for my household. Assuming Darry is purchasing food for himself, his brothers, and a little extra for the gang I'm going to put his grocery bill at around $500 a month. I think I'm lowkey low balling it, but I think he'd be a good bargain shopper. Btw, don't ask if he qualifies for food stamps! Because he doesn't!

internet bill is significantly cheaper going to be around $50 a month, as for services like live streaming and other things, we're gonna say it's all pirated. no one is paying for that shit when you can get it online for free! (Personal hc: Steve is a fucking amazing pirate and can get you literally anything you ask for.)

Final cost of living for my boys, not including school supplies, school/extra curriculars/or clothing: $2400 - $3350

Ending conclusion: If Darry works 80+ hours a week and Soda helps out with his part-time job they have more then enough to pay for almost all living expenses. Tell me where I fucked up! Thanks. Btw according to the shittily done w2 I did for Darry he'd get almost 2k in tax returns; i most def fucked something up but I'mma accept it despite that.

[beatrice-otter]

There is FINALLY a women's hockey league that pays its players a living wage. There's been women's hockey before; the National Women's Hockey League was founded in 2015, later becoming the Premier Hockey Foundation. They got bought out in 2023 and rebranded as the Professional Women's Hockey League. Unlike its predecessor leagues, PWHL players should not need to work second jobs to have an income to live on in addition to playing hockey; the PWHL has minimum salaries. All players must make a base pay of at LEAST $35k, which is crap but at least it's crap you could theoretically live on. But most of the players are going to earn more than that, because there is also a team average minimum. The salaries for the whole team combined have to average out to at least $55k, and the top six have to each make at least $80k. But these are base pay rates; they also get a housing stipend ($1500/month) on top of that and a "daily meal allowance" when traveling, and all of these rates are contractually obligated to increase each year (3%). It's still peanuts compared to men's hockey, of course, but it's something you could make a living at, at least. And when you add in the housing stipend, a full-time player is actually making a minimum of $53k/year.*

Anyway! The first PWHL game took place on January 1, 2024, and you can watch the games on the PWHL Youtube page. I hope they do well, because female athletes should be treated (and PAID) better and while "a living wage" might seem a low bar it is still one that women's leagues too often fail to clear. So far, they seem to be doing okay; the January 5th game (Minnesota vs. Montreal) SMASHED the previous record attendance at a women's hockey game. 13k people attended; the previous record worldwide was a game with 8k attendees in Sweden. The North American record was 6k, so this is double that.

The thing that interests me is that they are CLEARLY not branding the teams, they are branding and repping THE LEAGUE. None of the teams have a name other than the city they're from; none of them have a logo of their own, just the PWHL logo; the uniforms are pretty identical, just different colors. (each city name printed diagonally down the front.) I read an article that the teams are expected to each rebrand themselves next year, but I'm still surprised that they're not trying to build up any kind of team loyalty from the start, just league loyalty.

The closest I get to being a hockey fan is occasionally reading hockey RPF (there are a TON of great writers in that fandom, if you've never checked it out before). But I support women's sports, and with games being on Youtube it will be pretty easy to just stream it on my TV (muted) while I go about my evening. I know it doesn't ad up to much in ad revenue, but it's something that costs me nothing. (And it's not like I'd be going to a game in person even if I lived in one of the six cities that has a team.)

*If you're wondering "why do they pay base salary + housing allowance instead of just saying what the whole salary is up front" I'm guessing there are tax incentives to do it that way. It might be either tax deductible for the team or untaxed for the player, or both.

[sleepynegress]

A COMPREHENSIVE & AUTHENTIC UHURA LOVE/HISTORY POST

The above is where Roddenberry 1st employed Nichelle Nichols [click to watch the full clip]. It was a military show based on Roddenberry's own experiences, the episode is called To Set it Right (I highly suggest reading the wiki article about it).

You should note two other actors, whom he later pegged for Star Trek are in the episode.

They dated briefly and then became good friends way before Trek came about.

Miss Nichols was already an accomplished singer and dancer who performed regularly w/ Billy Eckstine and Duke Ellington

Roddenberry's 1st show, The Lieutenant, was canceled/pulled from the air before these scenes bluntly dealing with racism could air (there's blackface as punishment for the racists at the end of the show, in a case of 'he 'a little confused but got the spirit' for the times, so tw)

He created Star Trek to try to soften the blow of all the social messaging he wanted to insert from his military experience. Star Trek was basically, a submarine drama placed in a sci-fi setting. He made it diverse on purpose because the military helped him travel and serve with all kinds of people. Roddenberry was inspired by that.

Uhura was the first person to read for Spock and in fact, helped to shape the character with her reading and based many of the traits of Uhura (formerly Uhuru) on Spock.

She was basically a glorified secretary. She played the part with poise, joy, and the 60's style womanism she got to play out for those times... Everything from her mini-skirt (which Nichelle herself called very comfortable) to her smile, and teasing lines, and quips were about her playing "big" in a small role. She made every moment, every look, every line, and movement count:

Roddenberry cracked jokes about the fact that the network never figured out that Uhura was fourth in command.

Nichelle was the only main cast member who was not salaried. She was paid by the hour. This attempt at marginalization actually resulted in her being the highest paid at times, because of the long hours.

Nichelle was not let in the front entrance at times, her fan-mail was kept from her, and she grew frustrated with the constant cutting of her scenes, lines and storylines. This is why she justifiably attempted to leave. The bigots in production did not like her being there (and if we're being real, were it not for Janice Rand's actress Grace Lee Whitney having gone through so much and thus losing her job in the 1st season...Uhura might have had even LESS presence)

The lost context in MLK convincing her to stay was that YES she was minimized and could make more money and be more fulfilled on broadway, but her symbolism and presence meant so much at a time when Black women weren't on TV unless as a racist caricature cleaning a house, and even that was rare...that she stayed.

One of her best allies was DeForest Kelly, who threatened to quit if they fired Nichelle. George Takei was her absolute best friend on the show and in life (she served as his Best Woman at his wedding).

There was an unfilmed episode in which Uhura and Deforest would have played reverse roles in "racial dynamics" on a planet they visit

Spock and Uhura were originally supposed to kiss in the alien mind control episode, but Shatner demanded to do so for the publiicity.

Her work to recruit marginalized people as astronauts, as in personally going to colleges and talking to candidates after the show is a staggering achievement that arguably is the most potent of any castmember in any of the Trek series post-show. Sally Ride, Guy Bluford (she personally recruited the 1st woman and 1st black astronaut), Mae Jemison (the 1st black woman credits her for inspiring her to become an astronaut).

Uhura did finally command the ship in the animated series. She would not have gotten to voice the role, but for Leonard Nimoy making it an obligation that all the original actors voice their parts for him to come on.

Scotty and Uhura in the film was definitely a pair the spares situation, in which both were the leftover senior citizens with the writers just going "why not?"

it was beyond insulting and she did protest about the scene where she's bumbling through a giant translation book to speak to klingons for laughs in trek 5 ...but her best moment IMO is her pulling a gun on the young ensign in the transporter room in Trek 3...sadly her ONLY scene in the damn movie.

Miss Saldana got to play to MANY corrections in JJ Abrams rebooted Trek, from being amazing at languages to having an actual life & love, to confidently turning down Kirk at every turn.

FUN FACT!! Both JJ and Bob Orci both expressed disappointed shock that the love story between Spock & Uhura got more hatred from fans than BLOWING UP PLANET VULCAN.

another FUN FACT!! The love story between Spock & Uhura is what grabbed the old school Star Wars fan (JJ Abrams) enough to come aboard to direct. Yep. JJ ships Spock & Uhura.

Zoe's iteration became the 1st version of Uhura to speak confidently in Klingon

Celia Rose Gooding becoming Uhura brings around a lot of Uhura's qualities full circle, IMO. As she is also from theatre (like Nichelle) and has a beautiful singing voice as well as the charm. Zoe's iteration was sharper, and much more protective, professional, & mature, about her life and love.

Celia Rose has the youthful curiousity and stars in her eyes and had vulnerability from her first intro... I loved the eagerness the crew showed to being in her orbit, seeing the glow of her talent and being drawn to that, to have a part in nurturing that.

As I've said... Celia IMO has the most dazzling smile, giant warm brown eyes, fantastic curves, and an energy that feels essentially Uhura, & that is all light, joy, a bit of uncertainty, -from the light singing (!) and the growth to her joy in discovery... I'd love to see her writing move away from serving and be more about her wants needs and growing in friendships/loves.

But Celia is a gift and is perfectly cast.

Essentially Uhura = femininity, graceful carriage, gorgeous smile, excellence in engineering and translation (canon!), ability to sing and play the Vulcan lyre, sharp womanist wit, love for her U.S. of African-Kenyan culture and being beloved by all crew...

When Miss Celia hummed those gorgeous notes to the alien entity on that comet?? That Solidified that she IS Uhura IMO.

I 100% think they fucked up by killing Hemmer, because that mentor-mentee relationship was giving marginalized coming together and bonding over everybody else's bullshit and I was here for it...it was giving me Data and Geordi updated...and since then, IMO they've lost track and given us the same kinda backwards wingwoman role BS, that people who like to pretend to be her fan shoehorn her into.

...but I have high hopes that they'll course-correct.

All this to say ALL OF THE ABOVE is Uhura and anyone calling her ugly, bossy, pushy, annoying, whatever is just sad little hater who doesn't know wtf they are talking about.

[canmom]

more on art production ~under capitalism~

reading Who Owns This Sentence?, a very engaging and fiercely critical history of the concept of copyright, and it's pretty fire. there's all sorts of fascinating intricacies in the way the notion of IP formed around the world (albeit so far the narrative has mainly focused on Europe, and to a limited extent China), and the different ideologies that justified the types of monopolies that it granted. the last chapter i read skewers the idea that the ability to exploit copyright and patents is what motivates the writing of books and research/invention, and I'll try and pull out the shape of the argument tomorrow. so far I'm only up to the 18th century; I'm looking forward to the rest of their story of how copyright grew from the limited forms of that period into the monster it is today.

it's on libgen if you wanna read it! i feel like the authors would be hypocrites to object :p

it is making me think about the differences between the making of books and other media, from (since this has been rattling around my head lately) an economic angle...

writing books, at least in the case of fiction is usually done on a prospective, spec-work kind of basis (you write your novel with no guarantee it will get published unless you're already an established author under contract). admittedly, a lot of us probably read books by authors who managed to 'make it' as professional authors and write full time - but this is not a lucrative thing to do and to make it work you need truly exceptional luck to get a major hit, or to be extremely prolific in things people want to read.

the films and games of the types most of us play are, by contrast, generally made by teams of salaried people - and thus do rarely get made without the belief it will be profitable. if you went on about your 'monetisation model' when writing a book, people would look at you funny and rightly so, but it's one of the first questions that gets asked when pitching a game.

open source software is a notable comparison here. a lot of it is done for its own sake without any expectation of profit, taking untold hours, but large free software projects tend to sprout foundations, which take donations (typically from companies that use the software) to pay for full time developers. mozilla, notably, gets a huge part of its funding from google paying for their search engine to be the default in Firefox; this in turn drives development of not just Firefox itself but also the Rust programming language (as discussed in this very enlightening talk by Evan Czaplicki). Blender is rightly celebrated as one of the best open source projects for its incredibly fast development, but they do have an office in amsterdam and a number of full time devs.

what money buys in regards to creative works is not motivation, but time - time to work on a project, iterate and polish and all that. in societies where you have to buy food etc. to survive, your options for existence are basically:

work at a job

own capital

rely on someone else (e.g. a parent or partner)

rely on state benefits if you can get them

beg

steal

if you're working at a job, this takes up a lot of your time and energy. you can definitely make art anyway, loads of people do, but you're much more limited in how you can work at it compared to someone who doesn't have to work another job.

so again, what money buys in art is the means of subsistence for someone, freeing them to work fully on realising a project.

where does the money come from that lets people work full time on art? a few places.

one is selling copies of the work itself. what's remarkable is that, when nearly everything can be pirated without a great deal of effort, it is still possible to do this to some degree - though in many ways the ease of digital copying (or at least the fear if it) has forced new models for purely digital creations, which either trade on convenience (streaming services) or in the case of games, find some way to enforce scarcity like requiring connection to a central server and including 'in-app purchases', where you pay to have the software display that you are the nebulous owner of an imaginary thing, and display this to other players. anyway, whichever exact model, the idea is that you turn the IP into capital which you then use to manufacture a product like 'legal copies', 'subscriptions' or 'accounts with a rare skin unlocked'.

the second is using the work to promote some other, more profitable thing - merchandising, an original work, etc. this is the main way that something like anime makes money (for the production committee, if not the studio) - the anime is, economics-wise, effectively an ad for its own source manga, figurines, shirts etc. the reason why there is so much pro media chasing the tastes of otaku is partly because otaku spend a lot on merch. (though it's also because the doujin scene kind of feeds into 'pro' production)

the third is some kind of patronage relationship, notably government grants, but also academic funding bodies, or selling commissions, or subscriptions on a streaming platform/patreon etc.

grants are how most European animated films are funded, and they often open with the logos of a huge list of arts organisations in different countries. the more places you can get involved, the more funds you can pull on. now, instead of working out how to sell your creation to customers who might buy a copy, under this model you need to convince funding bodies that it fits their remit. requesting grants involves its own specialised language.

in general the issue with the audience patronage model is that it only really pays enough to live on if you're working on a pretty huge scale. a minority make a fortune; the vast majority get a pittance at most, and if they do 'make it', it takes years of persistence.

the fourth is, for physical media, to sell an original. this only works if you can accumulate enough prestige, and the idea is to operate on extreme scarcity. the brief fad of NFTs attempted to abstract the idea of 'owning' an original from the legal right to control the physical object to something completely nebulous. in practice this largely ended up just being a speculative bubble - but then again, a lot of the reason fine art is bought and sold for such eye watering sums is pretty much the same, it's an arbitrary holder of an investment.

the fifth is artworks which are kind of intrinsically scarce, like live performances. you can only fit so many people in the house. and in many cases people will pay to see something that can be copied in unique circumstances, like seeing a film at a cinema or festival - though this is a special case of selling copies.

the sixth is to sell advertising: turn your audience into the product, and your artwork into the bait on the hook.

the alternative to all of these options is unpaid volunteer work, like a collab project. the participants are limited to the time and energy they have left after taking care of survival. this can still lead to great things, but it tends to be more unstable by its nature. so many of these projects will lose steam or participants will flake and they'll not get finished - and that's fine! still, huge huge amounts of things already get created on this kind of hobby/indie/doujin basis, generally (tho not always) with no expectation of making enough money to sustain someone.

in every single one of these cases, the economic forces shape the types of artwork that will get made. different media are more or less demanding of labour, and that in turn shapes what types of projects are viable.

books can be written solo, and usually are - collaborations are not the norm there. the same goes for illustrations. on the other hand, if you want to make a hefty CRPG or an action game or a feature length movie, and you're trying to fit that project around your day job... i won't say it's impossible, I can think of some exceptional examples, but it won't be easy, and for many people it just won't be possible.

so, that's a survey of possibilities under the current regime. how vital is copyright really to this whole affair?

one thing that is strange to me is that there aren't a lot of open source games. there are some - i have memories of seeing Tux Racer, but a more recent example would be Barotrauma (which is open source but not free, and does not take contributions from outside the company). could it work? could you pay the salaries of, say, 10 devs on a 'pay what you can' model?

it feels like the only solution to all of this in the long run is some kind of UBI type of thing - that or a very generous art grants regime. if people were free to work on what they wanted and didn't need to be paid, you wouldn't have any reason for copyright. the creations could be publicly archived. but then the question i have is, what types of artwork would thrive in that kind of ecosystem?

I've barely talked about the book that inspired this, but i think it was worth the trouble to get the contours of this kind of analysis down outside my head...

[tokusmuts]

A chosen relationship, and a chosen desire.

P/s: This story will not profitable to everyone. It's just a try to have something different, but you will still see familiar things to my previous works. Hope that people who chose to read this will still enjoy it, if not, please rest assure that I will return to my normal works and style soon!

Characters: Hidden Male Character x Shida Yuumi

Words count: 4167

Categories: Oneshot, MILF, NTR, Missionary, Doggy.

Enjoy!

“When will it be the weekend?”

You wonder, looking up at the wide sky outside. From the day you got this job, you started to turn away from it, even though it was just office work like many people, and you really didn't have to do too much other than some documents, but the atmosphere, and the fatigue, the tiredness that everyone shows makes you really swept away by that gloom. That evening, you walked home, and the apartment door opened. Even though this atmosphere was no more new than at work, why did you feel it was so pleasant and comfortable? It's probably because of the smell of the food and your best friend cursing loudly when your teammates play too poorly. Interrupting dinner tonight, you receive a text message:

"Hey! Are you two ready for a break?"

From the moment I saw this writing style and then looked up at the sender's name, the feeling that the most peaceful things appeared to soothe me was indescribable. The chosen sister Shida Yuumi came at the right time; she wanted the two of you and her family to go out and relieve stress at the beach, as if she were reading your mood right now. You hastily agreed; even if there was an unexpected meeting where your salary might be reduced, you would ignore it. You need recovery medicine as quickly as possible, like right now.

The next day, when the limousine arrived in front of the apartment door, Shida's family was truly full of energy, despite the two generals nodding right in front of them.

“These two, lighten up for me! Where can we go with a face like that?"

Well, reluctance should be put first. Who can easily escape the atmosphere that has surrounded them all week? And you also had a deep sleep, even though you still had to take on the task of looking after Shida's little daughter in your arms. Self-cleaning is about to come. You tell yourself that this tired feeling is about to pass. And you really feel it when you reach the beach and check in at the homestay. Seeing your comfort gradually return, your sister also became more excited.

“Hey, you look more refreshed! Change your clothes, and let's all go to the beach!

A moment later, you walked out of the room, and you were frozen by what you saw—the sister you normally didn't care about was now taking up the entire frame. That body in just a bikini really makes you understand why her husband chose her, and they are together now. But who are you with? This is your family, so those impressions only appear purely and temporarily; the first outing continues, and the two sisters continue to tell stories that only people who meet after a long time can have to tell with each other, and that was the only thing that bothered you on that first day. But in the following days, that "only thing" gradually grew in your mind; a greater desire formed in you, and you couldn't stand it anymore. That evening, you suggested a potential location for your next outing. You pretend to agree, but the next morning, you immediately refused and pretended to have health problems. Shida noticed that you seemed unwell, so she volunteered to stay and see if you had any problems. 

On such a good day, there's only two people in such a large bedroom of the homestay, which are you and her. The mixed feelings wandering around you—just when you can express your feelings to your chosen sister, but you also feel regretful because you're diving into her family—you had to separate her family just to have this moment while she's still not sensing anything about your feelings. You stood there lifelessly with your thoughts swirling around, not noticing that Shida was standing in front of you again. She placed her hand on your forehead as her question made you wake up in the middle of a sea of thoughts:

"Come on, are you fine? Let me check if you're sick or something. It's a pity if we cannot have some fun outside while the boys and my daughter are secretly hanging out, right?"

As she lifted her hand off your forehead, her eyes searched yours, concern etched on her face. She didn't notice the turmoil brewing within you; she was too caught up in her own thoughts. She took a step back, her hand dropping to her side and her gaze lingering on you for a moment before she turned to look out the window. The sounds of the waves crashing against the shore drifted in, a gentle melody that seemed to calm her. "I guess we're all just a bit stressed from this trip. It's a big change for all of us, especially for our little one." She turned back to look at you, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Why don't we take a break and relax for a bit? We can order some room service, watch a movie, or even play some games. What do you say?" Her voice was soft and soothing, trying to ease the tension between you.

"Yeah, I got stressed, but not totally because of this trip, but something else is...". You responded, slowly beginning the plan. Shida raised her brow, her eyes narrowing slightly at your response. She could sense that there was more to it, but she didn't want to press the issue. She wanted to give you some space to process your thoughts. She walked over to the dresser and started to rummage through her suitcase. "Well, if you want to talk about anything, I'm all ears. But if you'd rather keep it to yourself, that's fine too. We're family after all." Her voice was gentle, and her tone was sympathetic. She turned back to you with a silk robe in hand, shrugging it off as she spoke. "I'll order us some snacks. How about that?" She gave you a reassuring smile, her attempt at making everything alright again.

"You know, I'm having a feeling; this feeling is really a "family" thing."

Shida's smile faltered for a moment, her intuition telling her something was off. She looked at you with a mix of concern and curiosity, her eyes searching for answers. As she noticed the intensity in your gaze, she took a step back, unconsciously touching her robe-covered chest. "Is everything alright...?" She asked, her voice laced with uncertainty. The atmosphere in the room shifted, and the tension between you two became palpable. "You seem... different." She let out a nervous laugh, her eyes flickering around the room before meeting yours again. Her heart started to race, her breath catching in her throat as she braced herself for whatever you might say or do. And as an instinct, you directly respond.

"Yes, I'm different...because I'm wanting to...make a real family with you, Shida!"

You didn't give her any time to react to your words as you closed the distance between you both, your hands gripping her waist firmly. Your lips found hers in a fierce, dominating kiss that took her by complete surprise. Shida's eyes widened, her breath hitching in her throat as she struggled to process your sudden advance. She tried to pull away, her hands pushing against your chest, but your hold on her was unyielding. "No... We can't..." She whispered against your lips, her voice trembling with confusion and fear. "We have our family." Her words were muffled by your lips as you continued to kiss her, your body pressing against hers and the fire within you burning hotter than ever. "I don't care about anything anymore. I want you." You confessed, your voice low and desperate as your hands roamed over her body. "I've always wanted you, Shida. I couldn't resist it any longer." The room had become a whirlwind of emotions, and the two of you were caught in a tempest as you continued to kiss her. Your need for her was overwhelming.

As you continued to assert your dominance over her, Shida's initial shock and resistance began to wane. The feel of your body against hers, the intensity of your kiss, and the desperation in your voice were all enough to confuse her. Her body started to respond against her better judgment, her arms wrapping around your neck, pulling you closer. "I... I can't do this." She said it between heated kisses, her voice wavering. "I'm married; I have a daughter... What would happen to them?" Her eyes pleaded with yours, attempting to reason with you and make you see sense. But her body betrayed her, pressing against yours, her hands roaming under your shirt, feeling the heat of your skin. "But... I... I do love you... in a different way." She admitted it, her breath hitching as you trailed kisses down her neck. "I love you as a brother, as a family member, not... like this." Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, a tear rolling down her cheek as she tried to push you away, her body betraying her words once again.

You continued to kiss and explore her body, your hands never leaving her, even when she tried to push you away. Your eyes never left hers, the fire in them not fading as you continued to ignore her pleas. "I know you love me as your brother, but I can't accept it anymore. I want to be more than that. I want to be your husband, your lover, your everything." You whispered against her ear, your hands moving to unwrap the silk robe, revealing her lace undergarments. "I've dreamt about this moment for so long. Your body, your ass... I've fantasized about it so many times during this trip." You pulled the strapless bra down, exposing her breasts to your eager eyes, your hands cupping them, feeling their weight in your palms. "I'm not going to stop, Shida. I can't. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything else in my life." You said, your voice growing more demanding, your need for her consuming you as you continued to kiss her, your hands wandering, exploring, and teasing her body.

As Shida's protests grew fainter, her body continued to respond to your advances. The conflict within her was evident; her eyes were filled with a mixture of desire and guilt. She knew she shouldn't be enjoying your touch, but her body betrayed her mind. You continued to explore her with your actions, leaving her trembling in your arms. "D-Don't... this... this isn't right. We can't do this. I... I can't choose between you and my husband, between you and my daughter." Her voice shook, and her body twitched at your touch as she tried to maintain her resistance. Her hands clenched the fabric of your shirt, and her breathing became more labored. Shida's tears continued to flow as her body arched into your touch, the struggle between her loyalty and her own desires becoming more apparent. "But I do love you. I just can't." Her words were barely audible as you continued to press your advances, your urgency growing as she stood there, torn between her feelings.

You took her silence as consent as your hands roamed her body, unzipping your pants and releasing your hardened manhood. You positioned yourself right at her entrance, your gaze locked with hers, as you pushed into her slowly, both of you gasping at the first contact. The resistance was fleeting as she opened herself to you, her body accepting you even when her mind was still in turmoil. "Oh god, this is... this is wrong." She whimpered, her hands gripping the bedsheets as you began to move, your thrusts slow and deliberate at first.

"I know, but it feels so right." You whispered, your hands moving to her hips, holding her steady as you started to increase the pace. Her moans filled the room, a mix of pleasure and guilt, as her body responded to your touch, her legs wrapping around you, pulling you deeper. "Shida... I can't stop. I want you too much. Don't fight me. Just let yourself feel it." Your voice was low and commanding as you continued to take her, your lips finding hers once more, devouring her in a kiss that left no room for resistance. The two of you moved in perfect sync, your bodies entwined in an act that was both forbidden and deliciously satisfying. The room was filled with the sound of your skins slapping against each other, and the scent of desire was heavy in the air. Your hands roamed her body, leaving no part untouched, your fingers teasing her clit, making her moan even louder.

As you continued to thrust into her, her moans grew louder, her body responding to your touch. You could feel her tightening around you; the signs of her impending climax were clear. Your own arousal was building the pleasure of having her more potent than any other before. You leaned down, your lips finding her neck, your teeth nibbling at her tender skin as you whispered, "I love you, Shida."

"Oh... I... I'm... I'm coming." She cried out, her body shaking as she reached her peak, her inner walls contracting around you. The sensation was enough to push you over the edge, and you let out a guttural moan, releasing yourself into her as your own orgasm washed over you. Once you both came down from your high, you collapsed on top of her, your breathing heavy as you lay there, your chest heaving. Shida's body was trembling beneath you, her eyes locked on yours, a mix of guilt and satisfaction etched on her face. The room was filled with the aftershocks of your passionate encounter, with the echoes of your moans still lingering in the air. Silence fell between you, and the weight of what had just happened was heavy on both your shoulders. Shida's tears continued to flow, and her emotions tangled in the aftermath.

Shida's eyes met yours, her tears spilling over as she lay there, her body still quivering. She didn't know what to say or what to think. The line she thought she'd never cross had been erased, replaced by an unforeseen passion that had consumed her. As she lay there, shattered by the reality of what had transpired, you could see the confusion, the guilt, and the undeniable desire still flickering in her eyes.

"W-What have we done? We can't do this. We can't keep doing this. You... you're my brother, my family." She whispered, the weight of the situation finally settling on her. Her body was still yours; your spent member was still inside her, the remnants of your lovemaking surrounding you both. Shida closed her eyes, her silence as eloquent as any words she could utter. She didn't move, her body still entwined with yours, her heart heavy as she struggled to come to terms with the consequences of your actions. Without a word, you leaned down, your lips finding hers in a tender, almost apologetic kiss. Your hands moved to her face, your fingers brushing away her tears as you whispered reassurances, "Everything will be alright, Shida. We'll figure it out. I promise."

But even as you spoke, you knew that the consequences of your actions were far-reaching. You had crossed a line, and there was no going back. For now, though, you were content to lay there, your bodies still entwined, sharing the afterglow of your forbidden union. Shida's body remained still in your arms, her mind no doubt wandering through a sea of thoughts as she grappled with the reality of the situation. The tension in the room was palpable; the weight of your actions was hanging heavily between you both. You could feel her body still against yours, her embrace tight, if not for the wrong reason. Her heartbeat was racing, and her breaths were shallow as she attempted to process what had just happened.

"I-I don't know what to say... I... I shouldn't have let it happen." Her voice trembled, and her eyes were still cast downward, not wanting to look at you or meet your gaze. She could feel the weight of the world on her shoulders, the responsibility of her family, her husband, and her daughter suddenly an unbearable burden. "But, yes... it was... intense. I won't lie about that. But we can't do it again. We can't put our family in danger like this." Her voice was firm, but the catch in her throat betrayed her true feelings. The emotion of the moment was too much for her, and she started to cry again, her body shaking with the force of her suppressed emotions.

You could sense her hesitation and the internal struggle brewing within her. Her body was still trembling; a mix of pleasure and guilt was apparent in her reactions. Your hands roamed her body, your fingers trailing across her skin, trying to draw her back into the world of passion and desire. "Shida, let's enjoy this. You know you want it too. Our feelings for each other... they're too strong to ignore." You whispered, your lips finding hers once more, your kiss filled with urgency, and your hands gently pulling her closer. "Just let go for a little while longer. We'll figure everything else out later." You pleaded, your eyes filled with an intensity that mirrored the desires consuming you both. Shida's body responded to your touch, with her breathing growing heavier and her nipples hardening under your fingers. The decision hung in the balance, with the pull of passion and the guilt of betrayal warring within her. The moment was intense, charged with unspoken emotions and undeniable chemistry, leaving the outcome uncertain.

As Shida's body continued to react to your touch, the indecision in her eyes slowly dissolved, replaced by a fire that mirrored your own. She leaned into your kiss, her hands tightening their grip on your shirt as she abandoned herself to the torrent of desire that surged within her. "Fine... let's just enjoy it... one more time." She whispered, her voice heavy with need, her body arching towards yours in anticipation. You took her response as the green light you had been waiting for, rolling her onto her back and positioning yourself above her. The desire in your eyes was unmistakable; your hands roamed her body once more, teasing her into another round of passion. The rhythm of your movements picked up, each thrust more intense than the last, and the room filled with the sounds of your bodies colliding and the gasps and moans that accompanied them.

"God, Shida, your ass is perfect...but I cannot imagine that pounding it can be at a higher level like this." You said, the high is making your words uncontrollable anymore.

Your words sent a shiver down Shida's spine, her eyes flashing with pleasure at your compliment. She gripped the sheets, her legs wrapping around your waist, pulling you deeper, her body begging for more. Her moans filled the room, a symphony of pleasure and guilt. "Oh god, Yes... Your cock feels so good... So big inside me." She cried out; her words are also rhythmed with her climax as her body writhes beneath you, her breasts bouncing with each thrust, her nipples hard against your chest. You continued to pound into her, your hands roaming her body, teasing her nipples and her clit, making her writhe and moan. The intensity of the moment was overwhelming; the taboo of your actions only heightened the pleasure that coursed through both of your veins. The heat between you two was palpable; the air was thick with the scent of desire and the sound of your primal urges. Shida's body tensed, her eyes locking onto yours, her moans growing louder as she reached her climax once more, her inner walls clamping down on you—the sensation enough to push you over the edge. With a guttural moan, you released yourself into her, your orgasm crashing over you both.

In the aftermath, you collapsed onto Shida's heaving chest, your breaths heavy as you both tried to regain your composure. Her tears fell silently, her guilt and pleasure entwined in a messy, raw display of emotion. You could feel her heart racing against your chest; the weight of what had transpired between you was now impossible to ignore. "Thank you, Shida. For... for being mine. For this moment." You whispered, your hand gently caressing her face. As the two of you lay there, entwined in each other's arms, the next steps were unclear, the repercussions of your actions still looming ominously over you both. The bond between you had shifted, and the love you felt for each other was now tainted by the forbidden passion that had consumed you. The weight of the decision you had both made was heavy, but for now, you savored the afterglow, clinging to the moment as if it were the only thing anchoring you in the storm that was surely to come. As you pulled away, your gaze locked with Shida's, and the emotions etched on her face were a testament to the turmoil within her. Your words, however, seemed to bring a flicker of hope to her, a glimmer of happiness in the midst of her guilt.

"I... I don't know what's going to happen." Her voice was small, her eyes filled with uncertainty, and the gravity of the situation weighed heavily on her.

You nodded, understanding the weight of the decision you had both made. As you reached for your phone, you couldn't help but steal one last lingering look at Shida—her beauty, the curve of her body, and the way her body still trembled from the passion you'd shared etched in your memory. You dialed your friend, your voice calm as you inquired about their whereabouts.

"Hey, man, have you guys returned? Everything alright?" You listened, your tone friendly, as if nothing had transpired between you and Shida. You then began to make arrangements to meet back at the homestay with your friend, giving yourself time to clean up and perhaps for Shida to come to terms with the events that had just unfolded.

Once your call ended, you turned to Shida, your expression a mix of concern and love. "It's time to get cleaned up. We need to make sure our secret stays between us." You said, your hands gently helping her to her feet, the weight of your actions now firmly planted between the two of you. Shida nodded, her face a mask of conflicting emotions as she stood, her body still humming from the intensity of the moments shared between you. She followed your lead as you cleaned up the mess, your movements calm and efficient. The air between you was heavy with unspoken words, and the emotions from past moments were still lingering. Once everything was in order, you both retreated to your separate rooms, dressing in a manner that belied the carnal activities you'd just engaged in. The tension within the house was palpable, and the atmosphere was charged with the knowledge of the forbidden passion that had been unleashed. As you awaited your friend's return, Shida and you maintained a respectful distance, your eyes occasionally meeting, each glance fraught with a complexity of emotion. The choice had been made, the path chosen, and now the two of you faced the uncertain future that lay ahead.

"Shida, we'll still be sisters, and our family is still as usual, but remember, I will always be here, waiting for your needs. Is that okay with you?". You make an order, which is fair enough but cannot be acceptable to your sister. As your friend returned to the homestay, bringing with him the normalcy of the group dynamics, Shida's eyes met yours once more. In them, you could see the turmoil, the guilt, and the undeniable desire. She swallowed hard, her voice a soft murmur as she replied, "Yes, you'll always be here for me, waiting. But let's try to go back to normal for now. Let's protect our secret, for the sake of our family."

The two of you reverted to your previous roles, the bond between you still strong, albeit now tainted by the passion that had been unleashed. Shida's husband and daughter returned soon after, their laughter and chatter filling the air as the group settled in for the evening. As the night progressed, the weight of your actions continued to hang between you, a secret shared between you two that would forever change the dynamic of your relationship. You both knew that the genie could not be put back into the bottle, but for now, the façade of normalcy prevailed. As the four of you drifted off to sleep, the consequences of your actions and the future they portended lingered in the shadows of your shared consciousness.

[nananarc]

Gonna disclose my income as a freelance artist because I feel like it might give some perspective. And mostly bc I'm feeling a bit burnout and I want pity points ok? Lol.

Context 1: For sake of simplicity, all figures are net income (minused all fees, charges, insurance, benefits, etc)

Context 2: I live in a big city in Việt Nam and the cost of living is relatively low. A salary of 1000$/month is considered really good for someone living alone with one pet, no family or children, no debt or other liabilities. Entry level jobs usually start at around 200-300$/month.

.

Let's start in 2021 because that's when it can be considered when I started doing art professionally.

In 2021 and 2022, I was juggling between art school, a part-time online side gig, building social media for my art, and of course try to get commissions. But coms were few and far between, mainly because I didn't have an online present before and I only hang in relatively small fandoms. So all I earn through side gig and art were only some change, in total avarage to about 40$/ month. Some months made up for no income months.

In 2023, things starts to be a bit better as I get more confident in my skill, but coms are still few and far between and months with no income is still common. Side gig was few and far between too and pay less. Overall I'd say it goes up to about 80$/month.

This year 2024, art school is done, I can finally do art full time. But I was severely burnout because all the accumulated stress since waaaaay before catch up with me and i couldn't cope anymore. I have to spend a lot of time resting instead. Fortunately, I received a decent amount of coms each month, and the new patreon surprisingly got a few supporters (I fully realistically expected it to sit at 0 for at least a year). Overall, I have an 8 hours 4 days work week: 4 hours a day on com and managing social media and other stuff that actually makes money; 4 hours a day on my own projects and personal indulgence that doesn't directly make money. As of now, my income is about 180$/month.

.

You are probably wondering how the fuck do one live like this in this economy.

It's because my family is middle class and can afford a freeloader like me in their house, receive their pocket money and tuition fee. I'm privileged.

But of course my family isn't rich and if just one catastrophic event happens to us, we'd be in bad shit. I'm constantly in anxiety of money, work, and the future. It doesn't help that I'm late 20s and many people around keep reminding of how I'm not making money yet still leeching off parents. It doesn't help that, for years all i hear about art is it will just lead to failure and no money.

.

But still, I am thankful of my family for letting me stay here. And all my friends and supporters for giving me money oc lol, but more importantly, believing in me more than I ever do in myself. I read all of your little tags, your keysmash and compliments, and I keep them all dear to my heart, and I went back to them everytime I need motivation. I can't see where my future as an artist will be, but I cling to your support and love as the will to keep going. Thank you all so, so fucking much. I'd have been literally dead in a ditch somewhere without you guys.

Anyway, idk, I've always been adamant about wage transparency (especially in a corporate setting) but I rarely see this in freelance artists. except to flex, to promote the hustle culture, or to sell some courses they made. Most of us don't want/can't subscribe to the grind and have nothing to flex either. All we have is this shit economy. I'd wish we could have been more open about this and many of us wouldn't have to feel so lonely and despair all the time.

[vivalas-vega]

Real Friends / Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Reader / Part Seven

happy valentines day my loves - this seemed to be the perfect chapter to mark the occasion ;) i hope you all had the most lovely day, here is some pure sap and a much needed break in tension between our two favorite friends. I have always wanted to reference a very specific grey’s anatomy scene in my writing and I thought this was the perfect pairing to break it out for - you can watch that here and that is all I’ll say in order to not spoil what’s to come - it is up to you if you watch it before or after you read it ;)

real friends / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader / part seven

one - two - three - four - five - six 

word count: 4.5k

warnings: sap. lots of sap. 

“Cobra,” Penny started but was cut off by a round of rowdy frat boys to which she gave you an annoyed look. “Cobra, you know I would never ask…” she said, and you just nodded before she even had the chance. She’d lost one of her weekend bartenders and she was definitely feeling it right now as the Hard Deck thrummed with energy and you had no problem slipping behind the bar and taking the spare apron from Penny.

“And you don’t have to, who knows, could be fun to get back into the swing of things,” you smiled as you took an order and got to work. You’d never liked living on base and avoided it at all costs, which resulted in you picking up some bartending shifts in your early twenties to help cover the costs of living on your own on just the Navy’s salary and in all honesty you’d loved it. The energy was usually always good, tips were fantastic, especially on the nights when you dressed to make the old-timers wallets hurt, and it was a great way to distract yourself from the stress of your day job.  It was like riding a bike for you, easy to slip back into your old routine of managing patrons and keeping up with the conversation as well as making sure their drinks were well taken care of and you smiled brightly at Rooster as he approached.

“Have I stepped into an alternate universe?” he asked as you set a beer in front of him.

“Pen was swamped and I happen to know my way around a bar,” you said, mixing up an old fashioned for the guy waiting beside him… based on his young appearance and choice of drink you’d inspected his ID three times to make sure it wasn’t fake. 

“Full of surprises aren’t you?” he teased and you just winked in response, flitting around to clear empty glasses.

“Get away from my bar, Roo, you’re in the way,” you said as you made your way from table to table, pushing him in the direction of the pool table and watching as he joined your group of friends. You helped Penny through the rush, and even got to ring the bell once which was secretly something you’d always wanted to do, and you wiped your hands in satisfaction as you looked over the bar, now only occupied by regulars who weren’t quite as demanding. 

“Cobra, you’re a literal lifesaver,” Penny said, giving your shoulders a squeeze from behind as she slid a rather fat stack of tips your way and you just shook your head.

“Pen, I didn’t say yes for some extra cash, I was happy to help.”

“Come on, most of these are from all the boys on base that are utterly obsessed with you anyways, just take them as a token of my gratitude otherwise I’m never making your margaritas spicy again,” she warned and you placed a hand on your chest in faux shock.

“You would never.”

“Try me,” she smiled, pushing them closer to you and you gave her a soft smile before tucking them away in the pocket of your shorts as she waved you off to join your friends with a fresh drink in hand. 

“Have to say, Cobra, you are a much better bartender than I would have thought,” Rooster said when you approached the pool table.

“I take offense in that, I’ll have you know I bartended for years.” you retorted, “but nevermind that, I uh… I actually have some news, guys.” you said hesitantly, waiting until you had everyone’s attention, trying not to linger on the fact that you’d had Hangman’s all night.

“What, is this where you tell us you're ditching us to spend your days here instead?” Rooster joked and you just shoved his shoulder. 

“No, it’s a little bigger than that… I got a call from Admiral Simpson today, I’m being promoted to Lieutenant Commander,” you said and the entire group broke out in cheers. 

“Holy shit, Cobra, this is amazing!” Phoenix cooed as she pulled you in for a tight hug, “I am so proud of you,” she whispered in your ear.

“Alright, alright, break it up, let me get in there,” Rooster said, pulling you from her arms and into his own. You were essentially passed around the entire group, being hugged so tight you almost thought your ribs could be bruised until you made it to Hangman who really wasn’t sure what to do or say. You still hadn’t spoken, but he didn’t want to let this moment pass either of you by.

“Congratulations, Lieutenant Commander,” he said, giving you a salute and you laughed, shaking your head at him. You tentatively reached out for him and he immediately wrapped his arms around you and lifted you off the ground before twirling you in a circle as you let out a giggle, “I always knew you’d be the first to break Lieutenant,” he said setting you down but keeping his hands on your waist and you had no intention of removing your arms from his shoulders. “You deserve it, Cobra, this and so much more.” You just beamed up at him, his words of praise washing over you and filling your chest with warmth and you pulled away from him when Coyote cleared his throat behind you.

“So, when’s the big celebration?” he asked as you turned to face him and adjusted your dress awkwardly.

“Rather soon actually… they thought we would want to do it before we return from break, turns out they know a thing or two about what we get up to in our free time,” you laughed, “it’s this Friday.” 

“Well, then you and I have to go shopping for dresses. Of course we’ll wear our stuffy dress uniforms for the actual banquet but… afterwards we’re going out for a proper night on the town to celebrate our girl, what do you say?” Phoenix asked, addressing the rest of the group and everyone nodded.

“Oh, oh no…” Bob said and you all looked at him in confusion, “this is going to be a repeat of the night after the uranium mission isn’t it?” he asked and you let out a loud laugh before reaching over to ruffle his hair. Poor sweet Bob had been the only sober one present to keep everyone alive and well after you’d all returned home, desperate to let loose and blow off steam once the mission was over.

“Oh, Bob… have I told you today how much I love you? These new glasses really suit your face,” you said, fully redirecting the conversation which was confirmation in and of itself that yes… it was going to be a repeat.

—--

You stood at attention as Admiral Simpson read out your new rank and you saluted, smiling softly as Maverick came to affix your new pin to your uniform, as was tradition for a loved one to do the honors. You’d thought about calling your family, but with the short notice you knew they’d be unable to attend and Maverick was the next best thing, he’d been absolutely delighted when you’d asked. The night had passed with a blur, you making introductions with several important people you’d not yet had the chance to meet as Cyclone essentially dragged you from person to person. You kept chuckling as you’d spare glances towards your team, keeping up an air of professionalism but if you looked just a little closer you could tell they were getting up to nothing but trouble as they sipped the champagne that seemed to be flowing freely and laughed amongst themselves. You couldn’t help the laughter that escaped you as they all scrambled to salute you when you finally approached their table, almost yelling Lieutenant Commander completely out of sync.

“God, I love you guys,” you said through your laughs, “things are finally wrapping up, still the plan to meet at the Hard Deck at nine?” you asked and everyone nodded as they got ready to leave. 

“Mind if I drive you?” Hangman asked, and you nodded at him despite everything in you telling you no. You made your way out to the parking lot where he opened the door for you and helped you climb in, chuckling to himself as you grunted.

“No reason to have a truck like this in San Diego,” you muttered, buckling your seatbelt as he got in, “purely aesthetic, Jacob Seresin, people back home would laugh at you.” 

“They would not,” he scoffed, pulling out of the lot and beginning the short drive to your home. 

“They surely would. They’d call you a poser, say you’ve forgotten your roots with this fancy thing in the city.” 

“If anything this truck is me remembering my roots,” he countered and you shook your head.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but all the real cowboys back home don’t drive frilly rigs like this.” 

“You know what, I’ll let you have it, seeing as it's your day and all,” he said, smirking at you before returning his eyes to the road.

“As you should,” you said simply, turning your attention out your window as a silence settled over the cab.

“I really am proud of you, you know,” he finally said, “you’ve been busting your ass. Not just on the mission, but by naturally stepping into a leadership role at Top Gun, going out of your way to help everyone… it’s really impressive and I just thought you should know that.” 

“Thank you, Jake,” you said, cheeks flushing under his praise as you pulled into your driveway. “You coming in or will I see you in a few hours?” 

“I’ve got my change of clothes with me but… I- I don’t want to impose,” he said and you smiled softly at his suddenly sheepish demeanor. 

“I did ask, Hangman,” you said, getting out of the truck and making your way to unlock your front door and he was quick to follow. You made your way through the foyer, checking the clock on your wall and seeing you had plenty of time to spare as you kicked your boots off. “I don’t know about you but I am dying to get out of this uniform, bathrooms right there if you want to change,” you said as you made your way down the hallway and into your bedroom where you changed into a tee shirt and flowy shorts to get ready. When you reemerged you had to fight to keep your jaw off the floor, blinking slowly as you took him in, wearing a neutral patterned short sleeve button up with well-fitting blue slacks and he smirked as he noticed.

“Well, you certainly clean up nice,” you said, fetching the pair of you beers before motioning him to follow you to your bedroom where you took a seat at your vanity.

“I should say the same, San Diego won’t know what hit them when you hit the town in those… What are those, daisy shorts?”

“Oh hush, this obviously isn’t what I’m wearing,” you said as you gestured for him to take a seat on your bed and you made eye contact in the mirror as you plugged your curling iron in, “on a scale of one-post uranium mission how rowdy do you think it’s going to get tonight?”

“Considering Phe was already a little tipsy when we left, I’m gonna say it might be a little worse,” he chuckled, taking a sip of his beer.

“Poor Bob,” you mused, sectioning your hair and beginning to curl as he watched with amusement.

“I think he actually enjoys it,” he shrugged. “Look, I’ve been wanting to talk to you… I understand why you’ve been avoiding me, I was entirely out of line with what happened and I just wanted to apologize.”

“You weren’t out of line, Jake,” you said, dropping a section of hair before starting on the next. “You surely took me by surprise, but you weren’t out of line.”

“If it wasn’t out of line you wouldn’t have dropped off the face of the earth for three days… it’s really okay, you have no obligation to spare my feelings, I just want us to go back to how things were… I’ve really missed you.” 

You sighed, setting the iron down and turning to face him, “I did kiss you back. Twice.”

“It’s a little detail I’m willing to overlook,” he said, looking at you with pleading eyes and you felt your body thrum under his gaze, drawing you in and clouding your judgment. Ever since Rooster had shown up at your door, you’d been thinking and overthinking, carefully considering his words and the chord they’d struck within you. 

“I’m not,” you said, turning back around and starting back in on your hair as silence fell over the room. You’d gotten almost all of the way through when he finally spoke again.

“What does that mean?” he asked, running a hand through his hair as his knee bounced nervously.  You finished the last strand of your hair, unplugging the iron as you took a swig of your beer and clipped the front sections away from your face. 

“It means I don’t want to overlook it.” you said, taking a makeup wipe to your face and removing any trace before you could start fresh. 

“Okay, but like… what does that mean?” he asked again, confusion clear as day across his face as he tried to understand what you were implying. You made eye contact in the mirror as you blended foundation into your skin. 

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since you kissed me. Ever since that day you came over and we agreed to be friends I’ve been fighting this… attraction towards you with every fiber of my being because you scare the shit out of me. I’m okay right now, I have great friends, my career is progressing exactly as I would like it to,” you moved on to swirl blush onto your cheeks, speaking so nonchalantly it was as if you were giving him the weather report. “Giving into this, giving in to you, threatens all of that. I’ve never been good at relationships and your track record speaks for itself but I know enough to know that this? This is just dangerous,” you dusted your cheeks with highlighter before taking another drink as he just stared at you blankly. “Letting you in means potentially compromising the friend group, compromising everything I’ve worked so hard for, hell it compromises my own sanity because honestly I think when this burns in it’s going to devastate me,” you said, moving onto your eyes, still speaking so calmly. “These are all things I know to be true and yet I just don’t have any fight left in me anymore.” He finally moved, setting his beer bottle next to yours and placing his hands on the back of your chair, watching you in the mirror as you continued on with your makeup, your focus sharp as you drew wings onto your liner.

“Sweetheart, are we going to get to the part where you tell me what this means?” You remained silent for a moment, sweeping mascara across your lashes before discarding the tube on the messy table top and taking another drink of your beer as you met his eyes.

“It means that if that kiss was foreboding something that is just physical for you, you need to tell me so I can… so I can process it and move on, because I-” for the first time emotion seeped into your voice as you stumbled over your words, and he gently grabbed your arm to pull you up and into him as he stared down into your eyes.

“Honey, I am just as terrified as you are, but you and me… we don’t run from the scary stuff, we dive in headfirst and I don’t want to do anything but that with you. This has never been just physical for me,” he whispered as he cradled your jaw between his hands.

“You are… god, I just, I can’t stand you sometimes because you’re… it’s like you’re in me, even when we weren’t friends and all we did was fight it was like you were apart of me, like I was infected by Jacob Seresin,” you chuckled dryly as tears welled in your eyes and you lost your grip on all the reasons why not you’d been clinging so tightly to as his hands slipped down to grip your waist, “I- I… I love you and I, fuck I didn’t… that just flew right out but I love you,” a tear slipped down your cheek as you unraveled before his eyes and as much as you wanted to force yourself to shut up, to claim some kind of psychotic break and lock yourself in the bathroom you couldn’t stop now that you’d started. “I-I do, I love you and I have been trying so hard to just mash it down and ignore it and not say it because this is just… this is a bad idea and I know it but I just can’t think about anything or anyone and I can’t sleep, I can’t- I can’t breathe because I am just so in love with you and I-” you were cut off by his lips on your own and you melted into him, tangling your hands in his hair as you pulled him closer only for him to pull back and leave you breathless.

“You’re in love with me,” he said, wiping a falling tear and looking down at you almost as if he didn’t believe it and you chuckled, cheeks flushing at the uncharacteristic emotional outburst.

“Be cool about it,” you sighed and he brushed your hair away from your face before placing another quick kiss to your lips. His hands enveloped your jaw, fingers splaying across your neck as he tipped your head back and drank you in.

“I’m so in love with you,” he whispered, kissing you again and you couldn’t help but smile against his lips. He pulled back, reaching to grab your makeup sponge and dab at your cheeks and you gasped, plucking it from his hands and swatting him away.

“What are you doing, you’re going to make it worse,” you said, “very sweet but I’ll fix it myself.” He chuckled, sitting down in your chair and pulling you into his lap as you fixed the tear streaks and ran your fingers through your curls.

“So beautiful,” he mumbled, placing kisses to your shoulder and you smiled softly, standing and pulling him up with you.

“I’ll be right back,” you said, kissing him again and retreating to your closet where you picked out a set of strapless lingerie you’d bought a few weeks ago and slipped your dress on, walking back out and turning away from him, “zip me up?” you asked and you felt his fingers trail up your arm.

“Is that a bit of red lace I see?” he asked, slowly tugging the zipper up, “you’re killing me, honey,” he whispered into your ear before roughly turning you around and pulling you into him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said innocently, giggling as he rolled his eyes at you.

“Sure you don’t,” you escaped his grasp, grabbing your shoes and sitting on the edge of the bed to strap them on and he crouched before you, taking them and sliding them on, carefully fastening them into place as you watched in adoration. His hand trailed up your calf before pulling you up and twirling you around, “you are a sight for sore eyes, honey.” 

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” you said, smiling up at him as his fingers brushed just under the hem of your dress.

“Where have you been hiding this thing?”

“You have Phoenix to thank for this,” you laughed and he promised you he would. You briefly thought you should have been freaking out. You should have been overwhelmed by what had come tumbling out of your mouth but you weren’t, you felt lighter than you had in weeks and you felt nothing but excitement at the idea of embarking on a night of celebration with him at your side.

You walked into the Hard Deck hand in hand with Jake, having just got into an argument about kissing you and disrupting your perfectly applied lipstick as everyone’s heads turned to face you. “Look at the lot of you,” Penny said shaking her head, “is the Navy only accepting movie stars these days?” She set a drink before you as you laughed, “this one’s on me, congratulations, Lieutenant Commander.” 

“Thank you, Pen,” you blushed as you approached the rather dapper looking Dagger Squad. “I see everyone understood the assignment tonight,” you teased. 

“Yes, and everyone finish their one drink, we are not wasting this on the place we wind up every night.” Phoenix ordered as Penny approached with her phone out.

“I’m going to try not to take offense to that. At the risk of sounding like a mom on prom night, everyone squish together, I want a photo of you on this most momentous occasion,” she said, gesturing you all to pose and Jake swiftly pulled you into him, his hand settling on your waist as you leaned against him and smiled for the photo before you all broke apart. 

“I’m serious, you might be the woman of the hour but chug. There’s this super cute bar downtown and I want to go before it gets too crowded,” Phoenix said, gesturing to your margarita and you just looked up at Jake.

“And so it begins,” you said, tipping your head back and polishing off the drink, “oh fuck, that was spicy,” you wheezed and everyone laughed as you were whisked away to a rather swanky little bar that seemed a little too posh for what you were sure this night would entail. One shot turned into two, then three and suddenly you were on top of a table with Phoenix as you both drunkenly sang along to Beyonce, flipping off the camera Rooster had pointed in your direction. Your heel precariously slipped off the edge of the table, causing you to lose your balance entirely and before you could even process what was happening you found yourself in Jake’s arms as he just looked down at you amused.

“You doing alright, princess?” he asked and you beamed up at him.

“Wonderful. This is the perfect night,” you grinned and he leaned down to place a kiss on your lips, lipstick be damned, only pulling apart at the chaos it caused.

“Hold on.” Phoenix muttered.

“Oh, I fucking knew it,” Fanboy laughed.

“Are you guys blind? They walked in holding hands,” Rooster pointed out but it only added fuel to the fire. 

“To be fair, I was distracted by her legs,” Phoenix said and you hid your face in Jake’s chest as he placed you back on solid ground. The group devolved into questions and Phoenix just gave you a look, grabbing your hand and pulling you to the bathroom to leave Jake to fend for himself. 

“When did that happen?” she asked and you sighed as you leaned against the sink.

“After the banquet… he drove me home and we got ready together and I don’t know what came over me. I was telling him all the reasons why I didn’t want to and before I knew it I was telling him I was in love with him.”

“A big night for you, indeed,” she said, fixing your hair. “I really am so happy for you. This is good, and I’m not even going to tell you I told you so.”

“I think you just did,” you giggled before the two of you stumbled out of the bathroom with your arms linked. 

“Come on you booze hounds, we’re switching locations,” Rooster said, slinging an arm over Phoenix’s shoulder as Jake navigated you out into the cool night air. The next bar was much more your speed, filled with people just as drunk as you all were and decorated modestly. It was the group's natural instinct to migrate to the pool table, overtaking it and claiming it as your own as you and Jake went head to head. 

“Don’t think I’m going easy on you just because I got mushy earlier,” you said as you racked the balls and he just shook his head and laughed.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart.” The game went as it always did, with the two of you hurling insults left and right but with the addition of subtle teasing on your part to throw him off his game. Just as he was lining up the winning shot you rested your hands on the pool table just in front of the eight ball, leaning forward and giving him what he considered to be the best view in the house. His eyes raked over you and even from your spot across the pool table you could see them darken but it only served as motivation instead of a deterrent, “as much as I love you, I’m not throwing the game that easily.” he said as he sank the ball and you groaned.

“I am not going to get used to hearing that,” Coyote said as you perched yourself on the edge of the pool table and pouted as he came to stand between your legs.

“Come on sweetheart, no one likes a sore loser.” he teased and you rolled your eyes, pushing him away. 

“I am not a sore loser,” you protested.

“You are when you’re drunk.” 

“I’m not that either,” you said, narrowing your eyes and he just laughed at you as he brushed your hair behind your ear.

“Oh princess, you are absolutely hammered.” He kissed the tip of your nose and you just smiled dopily at him.

“Okay, maybe I am…” you giggled as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and pulled you into him. You breathed in his cologne as you clung to him and sighed in content as he placed a kiss to the top of your head before you pulled away to look up at him. “Everything is perfect, so very perfect.” you said, turning your gaze to look over your friends, smiling as you saw Rooster and Phoenix over at the dart board, Coyote and Fanboy talking to a pair of girls at the bar, and Bob sitting in a booth keeping a watchful eye over everyone. 

“It really is, isn’t it?” he said, never moving his gaze from you as you lovingly looked at all of your friends.

“You cheeseball,” you said when you turned back to him and he just chuckled.

“Your cheeseball.” he said, cupping your face and pulling you in for a kiss, “I love you, darlin’.”

“I love you, too.”

previous part / next part 

taglist:  @potato-girl99981​ @olliepig​ @roosters-girl @angelbabyange​ @loveforaugust​ @seriouslyseresin​ @sopheeg​ @shanimallina87​ @laneyspaulding19​ @djs8891​ @zbeez-outlet​ @startrekfangirl2233​ 

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Theory: Poe was the leader of Gelhart Security Services before his defeat to Ranpo and subsequent isolation.

(A/N: sorry if the grammar is terrible or the theory doesn’t make sense i just had this thought really suddenly and wanted to post it)

So I was reading the Dazai, Chuuya Age Fifteen Light Novel yesterday and something about GSS was mentioned that they didn’t mention in the anime (understandably).

Randou says on page 56: “Mn . . . Brr . . . The currently leader of GSS is a cold calculating skill user.They say he has close ties to the Guild, a top secret North American organisation.”

The book also says, on an earlier page (48) that the drill instructor is an actual soldiers so the members were highly trained fighters.

You may be thinking, “Wait, but that doesn’t sound like Poe-kun at all?”, but I think a lot of people forget he’s a trained sniper. The only question is: how?

The connection to the guild and trained fighters could be two people, either Poe or Twain. However, Twain is hardly cold and calculating, and Poe is the only guild member fluent in Japanese which could be from extensive studying of it because of his crush on I mean rivalry with Ranpo. Or it could be from time spent in Japan, after all he would have needed t communicate with Ranpo in order to challenge him. (And I don’t think Asagiri would give such a cool backstory to such a minor character, sorry Mark.)

It all makes sense. During 15!Arc, Poe would have been 20, and when he was 22 he met Ranpo to challenge him and was then defeated. It was never said where the challenge took place, but given Ranpo attachment to Fukuzawa and the agency as well as inaptitiude for travel (lack of navigation skills) I doubt he would have been in America for any reason, especially since the agency was so new. (It’s true that he could have flown there to accept a challenge that piqued his interested but let’s keep in mind that the agency salary isn’t that much and plane tickets as well as travel in general are expensive.) 

Another thing is that Ranpo is pretty unaware of things around him, even small things like how to use the train (I know I keep using that example, I’m sorry. It’s just the easiest one) So, I doubt he’d have knowledge of things going on abroad, much less knowledge of Poe to call him over to Japan for a challange.

If the challenge took place in Japan where the two just stumbled upon each other, the question is: Why is Poe in Japan in the first place?

I think that he ran away from his adopted home when he was a teen (assuming his early life follows irl Poe’s and his parents died/abandoned him) and went to Japan just to get as far away as he could. (Maybe he was offered a position in Order of The Clock Tower because his adopted parents and him lived in England for four years). He had connections to the Guild, but maybe wasn’t fully part of it yet, or maybe he wanted military experience before he joined an organisation like that (I can’t imagine why, because before the whole book thing it seemed like a country club for skill users.) 

But for whatever reason, Poe joined GSS as a legitimate security officer where he learnt to shoot. He was more healthy then (before his six-year isolation) and even learnt to fight a little, but was a far better marksman than fighter. 

The GSS men did crime jobs on the side for extra cash. Then the subsidies for GSS were cut off and they went full criminal. Somehow, maybe through a job or Poe volunteering the information, they figured out that Poe had a skill. He became important to the company.  And he’s smart so when it came time for a change in leadership they picked him, despite his young age, he has an ability and they respected that.

We’ve seen him be cold and calculating, especially when trying to trap people in his novels or scheme against Ranpo (at first, now he’s just a softie). He dedicated almost a decade to Ranpo’s defeat, so we see his determination and cunning (even if it’s no match for Ranpo’s deductive skills).

The GSS were pirates, nothing too complex and they had no big plans (like Fyodor’s mission to eradicate skill users), they just wanted to steal. So it makes send that someone who maybe isn’t a crazy genius brilliant strategist was leading them.

All in all it makes perfect sense that Poe led up the GSS for a bit.

After GSS’s defeat to Soukoku it probably disbanded, any members not part of that mission who left alive scattered, including Poe. After the fall of his organisation he was left wandering, and out of desperation or boredom he took Ranpo’s challange and after his defeat went, sulking, back to America where he officially joined the Guild, hoping Fitzgerald’s resources could help him defeat Ranpo once and for all.

[xiakha]

FFXIVWrite 2024 Prompt #10 - Stable

Who is the best and most important Scion of the Seventh Dawn? Is it the Warrior of Light?  As if. Have you seen the way she organizes her finances? No? Exactly. She doesn’t. She doesn’t even remember to check to see if she’s being paid correctly for a job, or if at all. The best god killing machine makes her most important in terms of the function of the Scions, sure, but apologies, even I must concur that she is not the best or the most important. Is it Minfilia? No. Only Thancred nominated her. She’s been gone for years. Oh yes, the Scions are in part her legacy, but to give her credit for all of the accomplishments achieved by the organization so long after her absorption by the Mother Crystal is… unserious to say the least. Might as well give Louisoix the credit. On that note, is it Alphinaud? Gods no. Not even his mother nominated him. Oh yes, Ameliance got to nominate someone too. To most, it isn’t at all obvious why she would be given a say, but those who know understand immediately. Anyway, Alphinaud didn’t receive any nominations. One person got the overwhelming majority of the nominations.  Tataru Taru. As if it could be anyone else.

Some less privy to the internal workings of the Scions, even within the organization, might question this wisdom. Tataru doesn’t fight, she doesn’t go afield. As far as the face, yes, she could arguably be the face of the Scions, as most, if not all, non-martial matters go through her, or at least are eventually reviewed by her. But the best? The most important? Let us list the ways.

First and most importantly, the organization of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn cannot operate without paperwork. In the Seventh Astral Era, how is any organization supposed to do anything without written records and signed forms and certified receipts? It can’t be done. And also, it has to be done right. Was it treachery and the insidious influence of capital that brought down the Crystal Braves? Well. Partially, yes, that was what led most directly to the grand company’s implosion and disbandment, but also, no one was checking invoices and performing audits. Would the members of the Crystal Braves have been so easily lured by the offer of Monetarist money had their salaries been paid on time? Well. Probably, yes. But that’s yet a separate matter completely. Properly done background checks and scheduled training were also things that someone needed to have assigned, but there was no one to lead the effort. Had Tataru not had her hands full extricating the Scions from the Waking Sands to their new home in Mor Dhona in the Rising Stones, fending off the dual terrors of Rowena and Lolorito through the power of burning the midnight oil reading tax law and finding the right paperwork to make them fight one another, perhaps she could have taken a look at the Crystal Braves and actually changed how that organization was run! (And maybe suggesting changes, pointing out errors, and trying to figure out how certain members ended up with that much spending power would have gotten her threatened or killed. To be perfectly frank, Tataru knew better than to meddle in that midden pit.)

Secondly, there could be no Scions of the Seventh Dawn if there were no Coin of the Seventh Dawn. Tied to the slightly more important reality of paperwork is the regulation of cash flow. Oh, the Scions are pretty well funded, all told. Beyond the grants they are given, there are other forms of investment and monetary aid nearly bursting through the doors to demand the Scions attention. And Tataru not only manages all of these sources of funding, but also vets them and keeps tabs on them to make sure they aren’t seeking any undue influence. Take that Alphinaud and his Crystal Braves!  And not only is she filling the coffers, she’s making sure they’re emptying properly too, paying merchants and craftsmen for their services, earmarking salaries, reimbursing her coworkers for their expenses (so long as there is written receipt), and lending out aid when appropriate. Tataru always has had a head for numbers and calculations ever since she was young. She practically ran the lapidary she was apprenticed to, despite her then lack of experience with gem cutting and engraving work. Sure, many of the Scions have an Archon mark, sure. Yet they still rely on Tataru. Urianger could chart the future movement of the stars and calculate the probabilities of a card appearing in a drawn spread while analyzing and interpreting ancient prophecies, and yet he still can’t add up his expense reports correctly. Y’shtola has a habit of sneaking in shoe purchases among her valid expenses, and Tataru sniffs them out every time. Xiao… doesn’t fill out expense reports, so Tataru queries her contacts in the mercantile world for whatever it is that she could gather are legitimately Scion related purchases to compensate Xiao for. It’s often a lost cause, but she does it because she legitimately cares.

Third, Tataru legitimately cares for each and every Scion. Yes! Every single Scion! From Alisae to Wigstan. That’s right, Wigstan. Most don’t even know when Wigstan joined the Scions or what he does beyond standing around in the Waking Sands. Is he still there? Well, Tataru would know! At any rate, she knows and has stock of all of the creature comforts of every Scion. She has the kinds of teas and the preparations for all of the Archons memorized, and every liquor or beer or mixed drink that those Scions who imbibe prefer memorized as well. She knows of everyone’s favorite sweets, baked goods, and confectionaries. She knows who likes a hot bath prepared if they’re headed back from afield, she knows who have want for fluffier pillows or firmer bedding, she knows who is currently shacked up with who and whose preferences will necessitate taking a room further from the rest, and importantly, she is discreet. Nowadays she’s not running around changing sheets and putting out the wash herself, but the retainers and servants know not to pry because she will never tell. A Garlean interrogator or an Inquisitor of the Holy See could not extract any of that information from her. Except maybe if they met for tea and biscuits. She knows well the value of gossip and intrigue after all. Tataru’s first forays into becoming a master craftswoman were after all made in the service of aiding her fellow Scions. The lapidary apprenticeship laid the groundwork, sure, but when Y’shtola came back to the Waking Sands upset that she had thrown a heel right after the Circle of Knowing merged with the Path of the Twelve, Tataru managed to re-affix it. She then read up on how to properly cobble, so when Yda returned with a nasty repair needed on her favorite pair of boots, Tataru knew what to do! She, of course, didn’t just repair shoes like some sort of fairy tale creature, the confections and tea brewing after all came to the forefront quickly, but that was the start of her multidisciplinary set of crafting skills.

And, to keep this rant brief, lastly, the Scions claim to have many, many connections. But in truth, it is Tataru that has all the connections! Who used her network of wives and ladies in waiting to secure the Waking Sands as a Scion Headquarters in the first place? Who chatted up the House of Splendors girls to the point of having an edge on Rowena? Who knows all of the former Doman refugees, including the children? Who has the ear and knows of all the gossip of the sociable and less xenophobic sides of Ishgard, Hingashi, and Sharlayan? Who is currently forging new connections in Thavnair, and taking strides to work with what remains of Garlemald?  Tataru, Tataru, Tataru, Tataru, and Tataru Taru, that’s who! Oh sure, many individual Scions have other connections or deeper connections. Arenvald, for example, has done work and knows many in Ala Mhigo that Tataru would needs rely on his connections in that city-state, but no other Scion casts a wider net. Alphinaud did a neat trick on the linkpearl in the middle of Labyrinthos with the summoning of the entirety of Eorzea and beyond, true, but do you think he was the one that organized the Scion linkshell? Heavens no! If it wasn’t for Tataru, Alphinaud and the other Scions would have been fumbling for how to contact the rest of the Star for bells, and that wouldn’t have made for nearly as dramatic a moment, now would it? If it were not for Tataru serving as the backbone, the heart, the brains, and the tongue of the Scions, the organization would likely have fallen to Ascian scheming, or at least lack of organizational skills, long ago. She is the rock that has anchored the Scions for the entirety of its existence. She is the foundation that the Scions build all of their whimsy and expeditions on. Tataru Taru is utterly and conclusively the best and most important Scion of the Seventh Dawn.

[lostindarkclouds]

🩸Alastor x Reader Fanfiction 🩸

[Part2]

If you haven't read Part 1, you can find it on my account.

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Today should have been a normal day when Alastor went to visit his dear friend.

Obviously Alastor has been observing you for a few days. (She's not overly attracted to you yet. She goes about her life normally. The radio station, Rosie's shop, and hazbin Hotel are his most frequent destinations.)

He is currently sitting on a wooden chair. His wand is against the wall. He is holding his coffee and watching the whole mess.

Rosie carefully shuffles the outfits and asks you to try on the outfits she's sewn.You are very satisfied with Rosie. He's a good boss. She does her job with great care and pays her salary on time.You like working here, but this guy...

You are so bothered by him.

The man is always smiling, his every move is full of grace. His gait, tone of voice, and looks always carry meaning and are flawless. He's a little arrogant... No, he's very arrogant. He speaks kindly, but he can be harsh whenever he wants, you know that.You've never had a long conversation with him, but you seem to know him.

It must be because you're both observing each other...Bright red eyes meet bright blue eyes. It's all just a glance.

This man is giving goosebumps.

Rosie hands a black outfit and quickly pushes you into the booths.

After you enter the cabin, Alastor looks at Rosie for the first time for a long time. Rosie approaches Alastor with an ear-to-ear grin.

"I see you more often these days. Not that I'm complaining. It's good to see you, Alastor."

"Oh what can I say Rosie! I love seeing good company!"

Alastor dramatically puts his hand on his forehead.

Rosie looks at Alastor with expressive eyes.Rosie is a smart woman and she knows what's going on.He knew from the first moment that Alastor was interested in this man.Rosie and Alastor have been friends for a long time. This indicates that they have been observing each other for a long time.(Alastor and Rosie's friendship is different from the normal friendship we know. They had no emotional exchanges. Sometimes they shared memories of better times.But neither of them know much about each other.I mean, because their mindsets match, friends.)

When you entered the cabin, you didn't have much thought about the outfit. As you slowly started to wear the outfit, you realized what kind of outfit it was.

First of all, it was like a long dress. It had a large neckline and was made of black lace. Its design was like a frilly shirt.Rosie always likes to sew weird clothes.You like his clothes too.After all, they are of good quality and fit the demon in many different bodies.But this time the outfit was a little different from the ones she had tried before. That's a little sexy.

(basically the dress is a see-through black lace dress resembling a nightgown.)

"Uhm Miss Rosie?" You called out to Rosie as you slowly opened the cabin door.

Rosie quickly opened the cabin door and grabbed your arm and led you outside.

"Oh dear you are an Angel! This beauty! I can't imagine this outfit would look good on anyone but you!"

Rosie quickly turned around. "What do you think, Alastor?"

While Rosie looks at Alastor, you look at Alastor curiously through the mirror's reflection. Alastor is leaning slightly forward, holding his wand in his hand. (Where's the coffee cup?🙄)

"The clothes you sew have always been number one in the Pride Ring, Rosie!"

Alastor looks at you with a strange look. Eye color appears to be darker. His eyes still glow with a red light. His voice is deep.

"I must admit that with a beautiful model her outfits are more striking."

The wand hits the ground rhythmically and the man suddenly stands up.

You feel cold.

The man says goodbye to Rosie and you and then leaves.

Rosie sighs...

This guy is giving Rosie a lot of trouble and scaring our Y/N. 🤧

Part 3 is coming soon.

[amanitaphalloides]

Please give me all your unemployment, job hunting, interviewing, etc tips!

hi unemployed community member <3

I am so sorry in advance for the length of this. I’m coming at this as someone who got laid off from a corporate job and is basically looking for the same job again, so ymmv with how relevant this is, but here’s a random array of tips I have found helpful.

MY GUIDE TO BEING UNEMPLOYED!

Getting your shit together after losing a job

Things you may need/want to do quickly if you have just lost a job (ie my week 1 unemployment to do list):

apply for unemployment benefits

review, negotiate, and sign your separation agreement

make an unemployment budget

take advantage of your final weeks of employer-sponsored insurance by having last-minute doctors appointments and getting your prescriptions refilled

look for new health insurance

contact student loan servicer to request a deferment/update your payment plan

More about this:

Unemployment benefits

If you’re eligible for unemployment benefits, apply to them right away. Different states are different, but you may need to have an in-person meeting at the unemployment office before you get any money. Scheduling this can take weeks. The world will look so much brighter if you have a little income. So if you qualify, do this first!

You will typically qualify for benefits if you got laid off or fired, but you also made qualify if your contract ended. Also you can usually freelance and still get benefits depending on how much you make.

Budgeting

Making a budget was really important to me so that I could concretely see whether I needed to panic about money and so I could give myself permission to relax. My goal was to stretch my severance and unemployment as far as possible while also doing stuff I enjoy.

Here's my budget template just in case our brains work the same way. This template is based on an old budget of mine - there are items on here that I set to $0 once I got laid off. I literally did budget in movie tickets because that has a massive impact on my joy in life.

Severance

If you are getting severance, it is possible to negotiate how much you get! I was able to get a few extra weeks basically by saying “this is bad timing and my income also supports my family."

Negotiating severance is like negotiating salary in that your former employer will probably give you less than you ask for. It's unlike negotiating salary in that you usually have zero leverage so honestly you might as well do an emotional appeal. IMO

Putting together an unemployed life

Stuff I consider absolutely non-negotiable aka things I MUST do not to spiral:

Make plans with friends. Write all your social plans down in your calendar and treat them as seriously as work.

Do something other than job hunting. Pick up a hobby. Give yourself a really specific reading or movie watching challenge. Volunteer. This will allow you to feel like you have a life which is absolutely critical to your self esteem, your ability to socialize, and your ability to function. You are going to have days when you NEED to feel cool. That will be way easier if you volunteered a few days ago than if you haven't done anything joyful for weeks.

Try to take care of your physical health. Move your body, eat full meals, go to bed at a regular time. I have really realized that sometimes the difference between me feeling good and despondent is truly just like, have I slept well and eaten and exercised recently.

Do things you like doing. I think it is very common to become unemployed and feel like you have to strip away everything in your life that's not focused on the job hunt. But you cannot stop doing everything that brings you happiness and expect to be okay. You will love your life if you fill it with things you love and you will hate it if you don't.

More tips....

Make a list of free or cheap things you can do for fun and then do them! Being unemployed is a great time to go to free days at museums if there’s anything like that near you. It’s also a good time to try a new recipe, check out a new walking path, FaceTime with a friend, write your grandma a letter, make diary comics, listen to new albums, watch movies you always meant to watch... for me though getting out of the house is especially important. I am constantly googling "free things to do in chicago this weekend" lol it pays off especially in a city!

I literally make Google calendar events for myself that are like "free museum day." I need to protect that time and treat it like an appointment to make myself actually do things.

If you have friends who wfh, go hang out with them and job hunt while they're working!

Applying for jobs

Tell everyone that you are job hunting. Post it far and wide. A lot of people get referral bonuses so they'll be trying to help you!

Job boards I use most heavily: Idealist, Otta, Built In, LinkedIn

This is so obvious but a lesson I really learned recently: only apply to places if you would take the job. If you're like "realistically I would not do that for that salary range" do not apply. you are gonna get yourself in Situations @ me two months ago

If you have a 1st or 2nd LinkedIn connection at a job you’re looking at dm them and say you'd love to hear what they think of the company!

I have also had success messaging random people on LinkedIn. Basically following this format: "Hi [name]! I came across this job at your company - I'm really interested and I'd love to hear more about what it's like working with the team. I'm sure you're busy, but is there any chance you have 15 minute this week or next to chat with me about the company before I apply? Thanks either way!"

Not everyone will want to talk but sometimes people still give you good insight into the hiring process.

It is really important to me to have boundaries around my job search. This has varied a bit depending on my schedule but the best thing I've found is telling myself I apply to jobs 9am-12pm. At noon I am DONE.

Interviewing

My interview prep: practice my elevator pitch with a focus on why it lead me to this company, pick out a few anecdotes from my past jobs I can share (a time I messed up, something I worked on that had a good result, something that didn’t go as expected, a time I had to deal with conflict), read the job's website and any news items I can find about them, and do a little quick review of the industry.

Most commonly repeated questions I've encountered recently: what's a time you made a mistake, what kind of management style do you like, why should we hire you.

This is the first time in my life I've ever genuinely practiced an elevator pitch and I hate to say it but it's really helped

After an interview (especially a panel interview) immediately take a few notes on what people said so you can write personalized thank yous.

I hope something in that was helpful and if not I'm sorry for the wall of text LOL but hugs and kisses it is all gonna be ok!!!

[pancake-breakfast]

It's difficult to understate the influence Nanami has had on my life. There have been a lot of stories that have touched me and moved me in my life, but very few have spurred me to meaningful action. I'd argue that the overall story of JJK itself is probably still unlikely to have that effect, but Nanami specifically already has.

When I first started watching the series a couple years, a friend who had already watched the show suggested I'd probably like him best, but I wasn't really expecting much. I don't always connect with (and sometimes actively resist connecting with) characters people expect me to connect with. But when Nanami showed up spitting truths about how both the business world and Jujutsu Society were full of shit, it struck a chord.

I'd been working for too many years in a job that was, in brief, Not Good. Like Nanami during his hiatus from Jujutsu Society, my company was based on making the rich richer with a lack of benefit to much of anyone else... though unlike Nanami, I was working in an industry that claims to benefit everyone, one that should benefit everyone and would theoretically be missed if it were gone, except that those who need it most often can't make use of it to begin with.

Like Nanami, I was often pulling crazy hours to get work done. This was particularly bad from October through January, leading to fights with family about whether I'd be attending holiday gatherings and a great deal of (justified) concern from a few loved ones about my well-being during the season. Unlike Nanami, I wasn't making bank for doing this; I was salaried, but all that meant was they didn't have to pay me more than lowest-end middle-class wages while still forcing me into overtime.

It was a job that was going to put me in the ground sooner rather than later, and for what? No benefit to me or to those one should look after in society. Just lining the pockets of those who already had too much money. It was a job I should have quit years ago, but for some reason or another, some legitimate and some less so, hadn't got around to doing yet.

Then I watched JJK. And read JJK. I saw Nanami and realized there was a character who "got it," and an author behind the character who "got it."

I got a Nanami sticker that I placed on my phone case to remind myself of important things. That work is shit. That the 9-5 grind to make money for those who already have it is worthless and there's far more nobility in the simple jobs that provide us with food and cleanliness even though those jobs pay pennies. That there's no point in draining one's self needlessly for a worthless, crap job.

I started working on a Nanami cosplay. I'd wanted to do cosplay for a long time, but rarely had the money and never made time for it. I still didn't have a lot of money, but Nanami's costume can mostly be purchased cheaply at second-hand stores and I'm clever enough with cheap supplies that I figured I could make his cleaver.

Most importantly, I started looking for a new job in earnest. I told myself there was no way in hell I was going through another round of feeling trapped and hopeless at my job from October through January, especially when my attempts to get help from my boss resulted in a bunch of good words and no actual help.

It worked.

I have no illusions that my new company isn't shit; it is still part of a very broken system and thus is, at best, shit in somewhat different ways. But the pay is better and the work load is more realistic, and again like Nanami, I'm somewhat better suited to it. And while it may not provide me with the opportunity to do things that have the kind of meaning being a Jujutsu Sorcerer might provide, at least for once I have both the time and the energy to do more meaningful things outside of work.

It's still a work in progress. It takes time to unlearn over a decade of bowing one's head to just try to get through and survive. Like many elder Millennials, I have no illusions I'll be able to retire or own property; I'd have needed to be making what I make now ten years ago, at least.

But I have a bit more freedom and peace in my life, and I can use at least some of that to do the things that feed my soul and make life worth living.

So as I wrap up my own personal Nanami Appreciation Week, I want to say thank you, Nanami, for being a symbol for the small ways we can seek our own peace in a world that seems determined to take it from us. It may not all be blue skies and sea breezes, but my life is still markedly improved because of your example. And thank you, Akutami, for writing a character that so many find so relatable, and helping us all feel seen. I saw so very many Nanami cosplayers my first year cosplaying as him, and I know most if not all of them "get it," too. We are not alone.

Even if the rest of the story falls flat for me, Nanami will still shine brightly as an icon of undying hope in a world that often seems all too dark, and for that I will forever be grateful.

[nikki-rook]

I’m going to ramble on about my life here, by no means do you need to read it

Last night was my companies holiday party, that I was involved with planning. It’s really the first big offsite party this group has had as we continue to grow. It went well I’d say, other than the caterer not labeling what the food was so my friend and my boss didn’t know what to eat with their gluten and other sensitivities.

I didn’t get to sit with the friends I’m getting closer and closer to because my boss wanted me and my immediate coworkers to sit with her, which was fine, but I might have had more fun with them.

Eventually they did come sit next to me and chat which made me happy, that they got up and came to me. I have issues okay? I think I have actual trauma (which is likely a horrible use of that work but I’m going with it) around having friends and I’m just not very good at it. I’m often the only one trying to initiate things, I feel like I get too weird, and people don’t care about me as much as I care about them. I get too in my head as well. These two are wonderful, and we are sarcastic with each other and give each other shit and they have, on occasion, hit me for me saying I don’t have friends. One day I hope to get into the more sincere conversations with them and finally have them over. I just want friends who I can talk to about everything, have over on a moments notice because I’m having a bad day, and be comfortable in their homes and them in mine and everything just becomes a second home. Will that happen? I have no idea.

I spent most of the night very happy. It’s been a great year, seriously. I’ve never been higher in a career, never been more appreciated and seen by my boss. I got promoted, moving the position up to October rather than January so I could apply and get it because I was already doing the work. Then because my boss didn’t win the fight on my salary, she gave me a one time top performer award bonus. I love what I do, and the people I work with. It can be frustrating, and the higher ups can be too demanding, but we are a team. I sat at the party just looking at everyone, happy to see they were all having a good time. We all have a sometimes demanding and frustrating job, I was happy we were able to put this party together for them.

My husband was less than thrilled when I got super self conscious and freaked out about dancing. Honestly, the music was not what I wanted and I felt like I couldn’t dance to it. I’ve gotten so used to Latin dances and the things we dance to when we go back to his home country that I don’t know how to dance to other stuff. And let’s be honest, that was a lot of popular songs that people sing to rather than dance to. And this just makes me so worried, we leave in a week for a two week trip for the holidays and this is exactly how it goes him sad and frustrated and mad with me when I’m around his family. God I so badly don’t want to feel that way on this trip but it’s already happening here. Sigh. Whatever. I did dance for about the last hour, in which I mostly felt uncomfortable but the people we were dancing with were having a blast.

Other than pissing off my husband, I think it went well. I walked the art museum we were at with my friends and chatted with them. I just didn’t want it to end. And it did. And I got extremely sad the moment it did and I do not understand why I have such happy lovely times followed by me wanted to burst into tears. I don’t get it. I want it to be college again, where we all hang out and have fun, stay up all night, and fall asleep on each others couches. But we are adults (Albite my friends being 7 and 6 years younger than me) and life and jobs and other friends and family get in the way.

I’m trying to handle this making and having friends thing, developing crushes (the only word I can think to use) on these people doesn’t help my mental load. But story for another decade I guess.

It’s been a year, and it’s not over. I hope next year is full of more time with friends and doing well at work still.

Last New Year’s Eve, I spent the evening in bed, crying. Because my in laws were here and they don’t speak English and they ended up playing a card game that wasn’t fun to me when you can’t speak with the people. And when I suggested we split into groups, that was denied, and I went and cried my way into 2023. But look now. This has been one of the best years. Yeah, my mom was hospitalized (but actually fixed!!) and my foot has been feeling terrible. But I went to Europe for the first time! I got back on tumblr! I started making gifs which brought back my sense of creativity and I’m drawing again! I’m feeling motivation to make art! And I’ve made good friends, and done great at work. Maybe I should spend more new years eves crying, bringing the better stuff along.

Here’s to an amazing last two weeks of 2023, here’s to new friends and a great year. And here’s to an amazing and lovely 2024.

Hugging every single one of you here especially if you read this. Tumblr has been my home away from life for the last six months, and I’m so happy to be back.

Rant. Over.

[literaticat]

why is it a saying that an agent's job isn't to read queries and fulls? At the end of the day, yeah, that is unpaid time unfortunately since it's a commission based job but getting a client and then selling the client's books is what consists of the job. It's all connected together and one can't happen without the other. I just wanted your insight on this? Also why can't agenting be more salary based? I feel like an agent's life would be slightly better then

That saying just means that an agent's primary responsibility has to be to their existing clients. (If you were a client - you'd appreciate that!)

While yes, it IS important for us to bring in new clients, grow our business, etc -- especially in the beginning! -- there IS actually such a thing as being too busy. There's a limit to how much ONE PERSON can take on. We DON'T need to keep adding new people at the same rate as in the beginning, because the clients we take on don't just write one thing and then go away and get replaced with new clients -- hopefully, they keep writing!

So, why don't agents just close to queries? Well, lots DO! I personally try to stay open most of the time because I don't want to miss anything amazing that might come in -- but also, it would have to be PRETTY AMAZING. I only take on a couple clients a year, maybe. So...

Agenting COULD be more salary based. Some agencies pay a salary -- just not most. In other countries I think there's a salary. And as I said in the post you probably read, if you are working as an assistant at an agency you would get paid.

The good thing about commish though -- and while I personally probably wouldn't switch -- is that while of course there are drawbacks when you are just starting -- there is also more freedom, and limitless opportunity. If I'm on salary, I'm an employee -- I work certain specific hours, have to do x-amount of stuff in a given day or week, etc. If I'm paid as an independent contractor on commish I make my own schedule, so if I need a break I can take it -- but also I have WAY more incentive to hustle. I don't get a paycheck -- the ONLY way I make money is if I'm making money for my clients - so you better believe I'm trying to make money for them! And the rewards when I succeed are far better.

[theradicalscrivener]

Life is suffering.

I'm struggling to hold it together long enough to finish the semester but it's going Not Well. The good gnus is I have finished a few short stories. The bad gnus is ... Everything else. I'll need to figure out when to post some of the stuff from the past few months because I'm never sure if I should be aiming for "peak hours" or just post it whenever is convenient. Unfortunately, I've been to exhausted to do anything other than work and such for a while now. I'm hoping that in a few weeks when I finish my finals I'll be able to unwind a bit and get some housekeeping stuff done. I also need to figure out what stories I've actually posted here and what I still have left to share. I know I did some CDE recently as well as the first stage of a slow(ish) macro growth story which I don't think has been posted here. I feel like I've also done some one shot stuff.

I'll try to give a brief recap of the past few months because I know people have been asking but also I know that most people don't want to have to scroll past a massive block of text so I'll keep it snappy.

I'm in an upper division accounting class. The final class I need to finish my bachelor's in accounting degree. The professor has structured the entire class around being a group oriented endeavor. All assignments (sans exams) are group projects. You'd think being an upper division course, everyone would be knowledgeable in the field and have at least the bare minimum moral fortitude and work ethic but you'd be wrong. My group has refused to do any work and since I dont want to fail because of other people I've been doing the work of 5 people by myself which is a huge part of why I'm so worn out.

I've spoken with the proff about it and at first she seemed to be on my side. Literally the whole class knows I'm the only one in my group doing work. During all the presentations I'm the only one who speaks and when the other members are forced to speak/answer questions they have no idea what to say. Like I've literally written briefs for them so they'd at least have something to say and they refuse to even read that.

A few weeks ago the proff pulled me aside after class and said that she'd grade my work separately from the rest of my group and that I should do the final assignment (which is like 40% of the class grade) solo and leave the rest of the group to handle themselves. I did the entire assignment by myself and emailed it to her rather than submitting it through the group portal. She responds to my email and said she has no idea why I would email her directly and told me i was supposed to use the group portal. She has no memory of us every talkin about the group issues so now the rest of the group are getting my grade on the final project even tho they didn't do anything. I haven't even heard from them in weeks. To make matters worse the proff never changed my grades and so I have the grades for the rest of the group (which are very low because we are graded on the participation of the whole group and since most of the group never participates in the presentation, and when they do they don't know anything about the subject I'm getting graded down for them not doing their job.)

I have a few more weeks and a few more assignments left of this shit. I just need to survive til mid may. Hopefully I don't crash and burn completely.

In other gnus. Things at work have been insane. I've been doing triple duty there as well. I work two jobs. One is a salary job which is tough to really say how much I actually do there ( but even then my salary is only 800 a month so it's not meant to be a full time job). On top of that I have my hourly work. I've been putting in over 100 hours at the hourly work pretty consistently lately.

On top of all that ny grandmother passed away at the start of the month. I ended up on an impromptu road trip to go to the funeral and deal with family stuff all while keeping up with work and school. I'm back home now but I'm extra exhausted and also down bad with the Rona. I'm tired and sore and sick and cranky as all get out.

But hopefully... I just need a few more weeks.