#i have a fever and this is how i cope with the headache and the sniffles

[raccoonpog]

Come home, called the sun

Come home before you forget how to

[lidiasloca]

Az with a reader that gets sick super often and so when they first start dating like the reader gets sick they just walk it off?! Like imagine the reader almost faints and has a fever and az gets super worried but the reader is just like I'm used to it?! How would they make the reader take care of themselves and bit take their sickness lightly?? Sorry if this is too long 😭 you can just write about the first part too!

azriel taking care of you when sick

azriel x reader

fluff

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄☆

Dizziness, fainting, spontaneous headaches, prone to get sick. You name it. 

When you were a child, your mother would be the one helping you: sorting your medication, taking care of you when you couldn’t even get out of bed, and more.

But as a teenager, you started to get it all done alone, hardly asking anyone for help. Partly because you hated to be a burden, and also, because, you knew you could perfectly do it yourself. 

Just as you are coping now with a terrible headache. Alone. 

Azriel had asked you this morning if you’d like him to come, but since the headache was already threatening your good mood, you declined, afraid of ruining his day if he spent it with you. 

And now, lying lazily on your bed wearing only a huge ugly shirt, and having got nothing done the whole day, you thank the gods he won’t see you like this. 

As you rise to get yourself something to drink, you feel a wave of acute pain in your temples that makes you groan. 

Once in the kitchen, you lift your mug to your lips, watching from your window the pouring rain. You sigh, your head feeling like a drum, its beating too loud. 

You lift your gaze once again to the landscape, then you see a black spot in the sky, getting closer and closer, and then it isn’t a spot anymore. But wings, a male with with wings. One you know. Azriel.

You run to the door.

The knock on your door makes you speed up, and only once you reach the door, do you let yourself breathe properly. 

“Y/n? Are you okay?” he asks from the other side of the door. “Cassian just told me you have a headache.”

Traitor. You didn't want Azriel to know - you're not sure exactly why.

“Yes, I’m,” When the door is at last open, he just - stares. “I’m fine.”

“Y/n, you’re - you’re very pale,” he says worriedly. 

Well, it may be true you’re feeling a bit dizzy after the run. But you’ve felt dizzy all day, so.

Maybe not this dizzy, you think as your vision blacks out. 

…

You open your eyes, the light making you squint. 

You’re in your bed again, you realize. He has put you here himself. He-

“Az?” you get out, your mouth feeling dry. 

Light footsteps getting closer make you turn your head, and when that doesn’t work, you try to sit up. 

“No, no. Get down,” Azriel says, coming to kneel to your side, and softly pulling your shoulders down, making you lay again.

You obey silently.  “You fainted, y/n.” You do not miss in the way his eyes shine with concern. It makes you oddly… happy, that he worries for you.

“Yeah, it happens sometimes," you explain nonchalantly.  

He looks up to you swiftly. His eyebrows raised as he asks, “Is this normal for you?”

You hum. “Well - yes, sort of. I get sick very often.”

“Oh,” you see how hard he’s trying not to look shocked. “And fainting? Do you also faint often?”

You nod.

“And who’s,” he says but tries again, differently. “I mean, is there someone to help you when you’re sick?”

You shake your head, not sure what words to choose. 

“That’s - no.” He holds your gaze, sweetly but somehow sternly as well. “There should be someone. Just in case.”

You chuckle, his authoritative demeanor is amusing.

“Y/n, I can help you.” Your brows furrow, your smile fading into confusion. When he senses your doubt, he adds, “Well - at least let me help you now. Please.”

“I’m fine, Az. Really.” You smile kindly. “But thank you.”

“Oh, no, sorry, I phrased it wrongly; I’m not asking.”

You stop smiling again, your brows raised in surprise. “What?” you ask as he stands up. 

But he dismisses your question. “I’m going to make you something to eat. You stay here resting.”

“Azriel.”

Instead of replying to your complaint, he places the back of his hand on your forehead. “You're very hot,” he whispers.

Oh.

He moves his hand from your forehead to your cheek in a caress, assessing you. Your breath gets caught in your throat. “Let me, okay?”

You stare at him silently. “Okay,” you whisper eventually, defeated, and most definitely distracted.

A beautiful smile blooms on his face; triumphant. 

“Thank you.”

-Characters by Sarah J. Maas

I know this has nothing to do with the fic but, "I, Carrion (Icarian)" by Hozier is... i literally have no words. It's like one of the best songs ever. omg it's just so good. If you're reading this, pls give it a shot, it's so incredibly good. i mean the whole album is greaaaaat. wow.

[innerconflict]

☆ sickfic w/ miguel ☆

wc: 406

warnings: nothing, maybe fever? :p

a/n: wrote this because i felt awful so i had to imagine my fictional husband to cope

the first time you wake up, you're feeling like you've been ran over by a truck. every muscle aches and every joint feels like its on fire. the room spins as you sit up, and you have to hold onto the edge of the bed to stop yourself from tipping over.

your throat is burning as you cough, raw, and the traffic in the street is increasing your headache tenfold. you can hear miguel in the living room, probably fiddling with some tech.

you climb out of bed on shaky legs, and stumble into the bathroom, hoping that your skincare routine might snap you out of it, but your flushed cheeks and dark bags under your eyes is an indicator that you should go back to bed, and you can't argue with that, so you return to the bedroom with nausea now added to the mix, and you collapse into bed, pulling the blanket back over your head.

the second time you wake up is to miguels hand over your cheek, and the light from the window blaring into your eyes.

"hey, corazón," he says, and brushes your hair out of your face. "you have a fever."

you nod, closing your eyes again. you feel him adjust the blanket around you, making sure you're comfortable.

"you should've told me you were feeling this bad," he murmurs. "hold on, i'll take care of you."

he leaves briefly, and you hear the tap in the bathroom run for a second before he's back and you have a cold cloth being pressed against your forehead. he sits on the bed for a moment, just stroking your forehead, before he lies beside you and puts his arm under your back, pulling you into him. it helps anchor your fever-fogged mind, his warmth curling up your spine like a cat.

for brief moments, you wake from fever dreams and curl closer to miguel, who just tightens his arms around you and whispers softly into your ear.

the third time you wake up, orange tones from the sunset scattering across the room. miguel is sitting up slightly against the headboard, and you can hear his heartbeat from where your head rests on his chest. he's gently stroking your hair, tracing his finger down your nose.

"how are you feeling now?" he asks quietly.

you blink, trying to focus. your breathing is coming easier, it's not burning your throat whenever you try to inhale. you feel cooler now, your fever hasn't completely broken but it's not as uncomfortable.

"better," you whisper, and turn your face into his skin.

"good," he says. "just keep resting, amor, i'm here."

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆

[crushedsweets]

im literally dying (i have covid again) which has inspired me to ask:: which creeps do u think r the most dramatic when they r ill

- 🌙

omg. . OK. I GOT THIS. also pls feel better n take care of urself. most- BEN (ghost virus or some shit idk) Jeff Dina/Judge angels Nina Brian Sally Liu Jack Jane Lulu Ann Sadie Kate Natalie Tim Toby -least short explanations under the cut. ill organize it by overreaction, normal reaction, and underreaction.

overreacts: BEN, Jeff, Dina, Nina. i'm just gonna say ben can get computer viruses that just create nausea and feelings of fatigue, but he'd be so annoying about it. "ohhh...the ache, you wouldn't get it..this is worse for ghosts... no other ghost gets sick, but im different, and it hurtsss..ohhhh..... ahhhggh..." Jeff's also dramatic but more like he's lazy and will tell people to do things for him bc "im sick" and then cough and sneeze hella fucking loud to prove it. dina and nina are similar to jeff, they're both whining and laying in bed asking people to get stuff, but they're not gonna be begging or demanding.. mostly. reacts normally: Brian, Sally, Liu, Jack, Jane, Lulu, Ann idk how to describe this. they literally just rest, take their medicine, etc. brian would probably bitch about it more, sally would refuse medicine(when she was alive), but i wouldn't say any are that dramatic. underreacts: Sadie, Kate, Toby, Natalie, Tim Sadie(when she was alive) and Kate just have zero care for themselves. Sadie will take a painkiller and move on, and Kate would like. rest in the mines on a dirty mattress toby dragged over. drink some water, but cope otherwise. natalie got sick all the fucking time as a kid, all the time cuz her home was filthy and she was always eating fuckin dirt, but now her immune system is really strong so she doesnt feel too sick all the time. she was raised to 'man up' about it. same with tim, thinks he shouldnt 'act like a pussy' even if its awful pain. he'll cough a lung out and then b like "ok work time" LOL . Toby doesn't usually realize when he's sick, cuz he can't feel the fevers or stomach/headaches, but if he does notice..he still doesnt care. he'll like, go to sleep in boxers+shirtless to avoid overheating since he can't sweat either, but he doesnt really do much otherwise

[crescentpaws]

oki :3 ask game

do they have allergies?

how do they cry? heaving? silently? sobbing?

who is the first person they'd call?

what is their biggest mistake? one that they look out to never do again.

yippee!

since most elves don’t really have allergies i’d have to say no… but there are definitely some things that affect him more than other people (for example: bright light. when sophie’s mind was slightly broken in exile, she had severe light sensitivity issues. and ik this was mainly because of how she bonded with the light while almost fading or whatever, but i think just a broken mind in general would be prone to headaches more often. because. duh. and bright lights are one of the most common triggers for headaches. & since fintan’s mind is still not entirely… right.. i’d imagine he’d have the same issues. and he works with fire a lot. which can be very bright. especially everblaze. so i just imagine he has constant headaches (because he is NOT going to stop using his ability for something as trivial as that. with everblaze especially, i think he’d even enjoy the pain a bit) also, the cold. obviously pyrokinetics can do better in the cold than other elves can, but i don’t think that necessarily means they’re comfortable. like how the reason you get chills when you have a fever is because your body temperature is higher than that of the air around you. which is true for pyrokinetics pretty much all the time. they can cope with this by bringing the heat towards them, like how marella explained why she wasn’t shivering in the snow in nightfall, but if there isn’t enough heat in the air to begin with to compensate for their higher body temperature, they’ll be much more miserable than they would have been if they had a normal temperature. if you were trapped in a blizzard with a pyrokinetic, sure, they’d be able to survive while you freeze to death, but they’ll probably feel much colder and more miserable than you)

he definitely isn’t a big crier, or at least he wasn’t before he had his mind forcefully broken. so when he has those emotional breakdown moments (which can come on at any time, thanks to the instability of his mind as well as his powerful overwhelming ability) it’s those full force horrible disgusting choking heaving sobs. (and fire. lots of fire. pyrokinesis seems to be very tied to emotion, so it’d make sense that he’d lose control of his ability during a breakdown too.) letting it all out at once basically. back in his councillor days though, i think he would’ve been more of a silent crier

present day fintan doesn’t rely on anyone but himself, so he definitely wouldn’t call anyone for any kind of support under any circumstances. in the past though, i’d have to imagine that bronte was always the first person he went to (horrible choice, really)

do i even have to say it… (everblaze incident that led to the pyrokinesis ban)

[soaps-mohawk]

Hello, I was rereading your story and was wondering if you could expand upon the heat sickness you mentioned.

Yes!! I absolutely can!!

So heat sickness is a viral illness that can affect omegas at any time in their lives, though younger omegas are more prone to it than older omegas. Alphas and betas don't get sick from heat sickness, but they can become contaminated and pass it on to an omega easily. (Just like how viruses and bacterial infections work in our world.)

The severity of heat sickness can vary omega to omega depending on things like the particular strain the omega is infected with, their age, how exposed they were to the virus, and just their overall health. It can be fatal in certain cases, and have long lasting serious effects in others.

Symptoms can also vary, both in how it presents and their severity. Generally the first stage is just a feeling of malaise and fatigue, sort of like when you think you're getting sick and you just kind of feel generally awful. That usually lasts for a day or up to three.

The second stage is when the fever sets in. It's usually a high fever that can get dangerous really fast at this stage. Body aches, chills, some omegas get headaches, some get a rash with the fever. Their blood pressure and heart rate will rise during this stage and this is really where things can go wrong really fast. This stage is the most deadly and it's sort of where the illness gets its name. Heat sickness isn't the official medical name, but that's what it gets called because this period of high fever and symptoms affects an omega's brain and the heat cycle. It essentially tricks the brain into thinking it's already gone into heat and throws off the entire cycle, especially in those close to their heat when they get infected. This stage lasts usually about a week.

The third stage is the longest lasting stage. In normal cases in healthy omegas it might last up to two weeks, some might be in this stage for months. Low grade fever, fatigue, hormone imbalance, nausea and vomiting, digestive problems, more flu-like symptoms (headaches, runny nose, cough), body aches, brain fog, emotional turmoil, depression, irregular heat cycles. It's hard to cope with even just for two weeks, and omegas that have lasting effects can struggle a lot. There's a lot of interventions and therapies needed for omegas that have lasting effects and it's really hard on them and their packs (not to mention really expensive).

Heat sickness is very contagious and can spread easily from one omega to the next, especially in places like institutes where you can have hundreds of omegas all enclosed in one space. That's why it gets labeled as an epidemic when strains do find their way into areas because it just spreads so quickly and can just wipe out groups of omegas if there's limited or no access to good healthcare, especially during that second stage where things can get really bad. Usually doctors can predict how long symptoms will last in stage three by the severity of symptoms in stage two.

There's no preventative measures for heat sickness at this point in the timeline when the fic takes place. Things like proper hygiene and masking and quarantine if potential exposure is suspected are generally how things are supposed to go, but as we saw in the fic, not everyone takes it as seriously as they should. Especially betas and alphas since they don't get affected by it. Heat sickness is getting rarer (at least in the developed world), though as we see in the fic it can still become an issue.

Reader got a fairly mild strain that was being spread around during the time of the epidemic, and of course a place like FIOT has state of the art medical facilities and was able to handle the monitoring and upkeep of omega's health during the second and third stages. Reader was close to her heat when she got sick, so her cycle was thrown off for about three months I believe she says. She made a full recovery though and is fine and healthy at this point in the story.

Thank you for asking about this one and I hope this makes sense 😊💚

[chappellrroan]

Wbu ma’am how are we coping witg this dreadfull weekend

actually not coping at all my hand hurts from writing and i have still so much left like i keep reminding myself of each day goals but i never finish it completely and then upar se dad bro he needs to leave me alone i am sooooo not in mood to deal with him he's like aise kyu baat kar rahi hai bhai aap merese kaise baat karte ho kabhi dekha hai++ i have fever headache bodypain but i took a paracetamol+ combiflam so it's okay

[idontplaytrack]

MY CHARMED ONE [4]

Capri Donahue x Harper Sibling!fem reader

Warnings: mentions & descriptions of sickness, coarse language and fluff

In which reader wakes up sick and Capri takes care of her. In other words, this story is done with smut for a minute💀

“Hey, why didn’t you wake me up? Did I sleep through the alarm? I was supposed to go to the library to study.”

“Studying can wait. You’d better stay home.” Capri told you, pouring hot water into two mugs.

“I-” You’d barely opened your mouth to speak when one look out the window caused some squeezing pain in your head and your eyes screwed shut, “Fine.”

“I thought you felt a little warm to the touch.” Capri gestured for you to walk over to the kitchen to get your mug. “I don’t know why I’m sick, but I do know why I have a headache.”

“Of course, you’ve been sobbing all night last night.” Capri sighed, “I literally went to spoon you and you were sniffling.”

“Shit!”

Capri laughs, “It’s okay, I’ll take care of you.”

“We’ve gone on one date.” You glanced at her as you took a swig of the orange rooibos tea.

“And what is your point?” She squinted at you, “We’ve reached a whole other level of our relationship already.”

“Capri, I can’t argue with you right now.”

“I’m not asking you to argue with me, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t care how many dates we’ve been on. I care about you, you’re my girlfriend. End of discussion.”

You nearly dropped your mug, eyes looking at her like she had three heads all of a sudden. “Why so surprised?”

“I just- never mind.”

“I mean it.” Capri answered earnestly. Your response was a silent nod as you carried on drinking your tea. “I’ll go get the thermometer to make sure your temperature isn’t too high.”

“I don’t care- I already feel like shit.”

“I care.” Capri glares at you, offended as she got up to retrieve the thermometer.

You avoided her statements, asking, “Do you ever cry so much you feel like spewing your guts afterwards? Or is that just me?” As she was walking back from the bathroom, she stops in her tracks, “What?”

“I dunno. The headache seems to be making me nauseous.”

“Oh, that. Yeah, I’ve been through that before.” She scoffs, sticking the thermometer under your tongue.

The doorbell rings, she goes to answer it. “Keep still, and stay put.” She instructed, “Oh- Darby.”

Your body tenses up.

“She’s having a little fever.” Capri says.

“Oh, crap.” You heard your sister at the door. Your head whipped around. “Don’t move or the reading will be off.” Capri huffs. Defeated, you did as she said.

“What are you doing here, anyway?”

“I wanted to talk to her, and apologise. But it seems now’s not a good time.”

“You’re here already- just come in.” Capri told her decisively. The thermometer beeps and you took it out.

“Alright then.” Darby shrugs, walking into the house. Capri quickly shut the door and took the thermometer from you. “102.” She reads off the tiny screen. “What?” Darby exclaimed. “It’s not a big deal.” You got up to pour another mugful of hot water.

“I don’t know how you got sick and you’re acting like you have seasonal allergies instead of a 102 fever?”

“It’s because of me. She’s been very stressed out lately and it’s just not good- I’m sorry.” Darby spoke up.

“Just don’t ever tell me how I should be acting about Mom’s passing. We both have our own way of coping- you may not realise it but the way you respond to how I would talk about it, about her…actually freaking hurts, Darby. I know you love me, but it just hasn’t seem like it in years.”

“I really am sorry, and I hear you. I’ll stop acting that way - I’ll be mindful of it.”

“Okay, take medication.” Capri hands a pill to you, along with a glass of water.

“You’re gonna half to split that in half.” Darby says.

“Alright.” Capri shrugs, making use of her telekinesis to put the pill down and get a knife all the way from the kitchen.

“Dude, are you serious? How well can you even control your power?!” Darby asks, alarmed.

“Pretty well. Besides, nothing’s in the way.” Capri replies, grabbing ahold of the knife and then cutting the pill into two for you. Darby looks at you, worried. You just shrugged.

“What’d you bring?”

“Brownies from the bakery we like.” Darby informs you. “But you probably shouldn’t because chocolate is ‘heaty’ and all.”

“Who’s gonna know if I do eat some? Dad’s not here.” You laugh, grabbing a piece from the box, handing it to Capri first before grabbing one for yourself.

“Just eat.” Capri scoffs, “No one’s gonna tell on you. Darby, truce?”

“Did you forget what I told you that night when you saved her from the car? We’re starting fresh.”

“Just needed to be sure. That night was a bit of a mess.” Capri admits, “Your Dad still doesn’t know that-”

“If he doesn’t ask, we’re not telling. It’ll spare us a lot of nagging and restrictions because he’d be scared to let us go out alone.” Darby says.

“Right.” You stifle a laugh.

“Also, if you need to throw up.” Capri began, you all see a plastic trash can levitating, “Here’s the trash can.”

“I’m uh, not gonna stay long because I have date, but you two enjoy your little day in. y/n, I will see you whenever you get back home.”

“Bye, Harper.” Capri smiled slightly.

“See ya, Darby.”

Darby smiled in return, “Feel better soon, y/n. Rest up.” Well, Darby leaves. So it was just you and Capri alone, again.

“Can I get some cuddles, Capri?”

“Of course you can.” She smiled at you affectionately, which ordinarily would freak you the hell out, but you being sick and sleepy, happy sunk into her arms without much thought. “Are you cold?”

“A little.”

The room instantly became a bit warmer, thanks to Capri and her newfound power. She didn’t even have to get up to grab things anymore- well, at home at least.

“Thanks.”

“I swear, you, your sister and your Dad are the only ones not afraid of me.” She laughs at the memory.

“I am definitely not afraid of you. But then the thought of you- you being my girlfriend? I shock myself sometimes.”

“Baby.” Capri said back, “I’m lucky to have you. You’re quickly making me soft, but I’m so fucking lucky to have you in my life the way that I do now.”

[cuddlepilefics]

SKZ Season Greetings - 18

Little sheep

When Jisung and Minho went to check on Hyunjin, the dancer turned restlessly in his sleep, groaning hoarsely. Taking a seat next to him, Jisung felt his forehead and hummed: “His temperature is up. Wouldn’t be surprised if he was trapped in a nightmare.” – “Should we wake him?”, Minho wondered, taking in the younger’s sweat-damp bangs and flushed cheeks. Jisung shrugged, brushing a strand of hair out of Hyunjin’s face. “I’ll run this under cold water”, Minho announced, collecting the damp washcloth and making his way to the bathroom. While he was gone, Hyunjin startled awake and gasped weakly. Cupping his chin, Jisung whispered: “You’re okay. It was only a dream, don’t worry. How do you feel? Your fever went up again….”

It took a moment for Hyunjin to realize where he was and when he had finally deciphered Jisung’s words, he whimpered: “W-Water ple-please?” – “Be right back”, the rapper promised as he got to his feet. He was quick to trade places with Minho, who gently dabbed the sweat off Hyunjin’s brow and shushed: “We got you, Jinnie. Close your eyes for me.” By the time Minho was finishing up, wiping his dongsaeng’s face, Jisung returned with a glass of cold water. “I go you water. Do you think you can sit up?”, he asked softly. Hyunjin nodded but it seemed to take unspeakable effort as his sore muscles protested the movement.

“Thanks”, Hyunjin rasped, his voice slowly returning after a few sips. Minho was still steadying his trembling hand, so he wouldn’t spill the water on himself. Handing the glass back, he dropped his head in his hands and muttered: “My head’s killing me. How long did I even sleep?” – “I think you were out for two hours at most. Didn’t expect you to take a downturn again. Thought we were all slowly on the mend”, Minho hummed, rubbing Hyunjin’s back, “Is there anything we can get you or do you want to try sleeping some more?” Laying down once again, Hyunjin pulled the blanket up to his chin and breathed: “I really don’t wanna be awake. Not sure I can sleep but I have no energy for anything else.” – “Do you want someone to stay with you?”, Minho offered as he folded the wash cloth and draped it over the other’s forehead.

Though Hyunjin had insisted that he’d be okay on his own and would feel guilty for trapping his friends in bed now that they were finally better, Minho had settled in next to him and Jisung brought a bowl of cool water, so Minho could periodically refresh the cloth on Hyunjin’s forehead. They’d try their best to get their friend’s fever to break soon too but in the end, all they could do was support the boy while his body fought its battle. A small smile spread across Minho’s face when the bedroom door creaked open and Jeongin slipped into the room. The maknae had come over to help them take care of Hyunjin when Jisung texted their group chat to retract his former statement of them getting better.

“You should go and rest too, hyung”, Jeongin whispered as he poked Minho’s arm, “I got him for the time being.” – “You wouldn’t have needed to”, the older sniffled. Shrugging, Jeongin smiled: “True but I’m better and have some time on my hands, so I’ll gladly help out. We can take shifts, I’m not completely sidelining you but you should focus on recovering yourself first, hyung.” – “I’m better”, Minho argued but he could deny the headache still pounding behind his temples. “We know you are”, Jisung whispered from the doorway, “But you’re not fully recovered. You remember how I relapsed because I started pushing myself to early? Take it easy for a little longer, yeah?” – “I guess”, the older sighed, getting up with a wince, “Is there any news from the others?” – “Chan-hyung’s fever is gone but he’s still pretty sore and fatigued”, Jeongin mumbled as he stroked Hyunjin’s hair, “Seungmin is so sleepy, it’s adorable. We’re the most worried about Felix because he has some difficulty breathing, especially after his coughing fits. He’s coping well but his recovery will probably take the longest.”

Minho eventually allowed Jisung to drag him to the couch to rest and was already starting to drift off when the front door clicked. “Hey”, Chan smiled as he kicked off his shoes. He made his way over to Minho and felt his forehead, nodding in approval. Sitting up, the dancer winced: “What are you doing here, hyung?” – “I live here?”, Chan frowned. He had wanted to check on Hyunjin but also grab some fresh clothes that actually belonged to him because he felt like he hadn’t been home for ages though it only were a couple of days. It was nice to be back but knowing that some of his dongsaengs were sick at the other dorm stressed him out, so he wasn’t all that happy about having the group split up in two dorms again.

Sneaking into Hyunjin’s room, Chan made eye contact with Jeongin and the maknae gave him a small smile. “How is he?”, the leader worried, crouching next to the bed. Shrugging, Jeongin muttered: “Asleep for now. I think his fever is slowly going down again.” – “Alright”, Chan hummed, brushing the backs of his fingers against Hyunjin’s flushed cheek, “Just needed to come over and see for myself.” The youngest gently patted the mattress at the foot of the bed, an invitation for Chan to join them. “You’d prefer having all of us in one place again, don’t you?”, Jeongin whispered worriedly, “You get all tense and uneasy when you don’t have all your little sheep within your sight.” – “Is it really that obvious?”, the leader sighed, rubbing his face. It was true. Now that he couldn’t monitor how Felix and Seungmin were doing, he was just as stressed as he had been when he got Jisung’s message about Hyunjin. How could he not worry about his sick dongsaengs?

“Why don’t you go to your room and change your clothes, hyung? I’ll sit with Hyunjin-hyung and when he’s doing a little better, we can talk to him and the others about going back to our dorm. I get that a change of scenery is nice and all and we could just as well come over here but all our sick supplies are there”, Jeongin offered quietly. Rolling his shoulders to rid himself of the lingering soreness, Chan yawned: “I don’t wanna force anyone to stay away from home when they’re already not feeling well, so it’s not my place to tell anyone where to rest.” – “If they knew how anxious you feel with the current arrangement, I doubt they would mind”, the younger hummed, “Besides, we grew together like that. It feels nostalgic and though I do remember all the hard times we had, I still look back at it fondly.”

While Chan went to his room, Jeongin continued to change the cold cloth on Hyunjin’s forehead, smiling when the dancer woke up. “What’re you doing here, Innie?”, Hyunjin rasped, mind still muddled. His dongsaeng handed him a glass of water when he sat up. Watching the older force down a few sips, Jeongin explained: “Chan-hyung and I came over to check on you when we heard what happened. How’re you doing?” – “I feel tired an’ wrecked buh more like myself than I did earlier”, Hyunjin mumbled hoarsely. “That’s good, I guess”, Jeongin smiled, picking at his nails, “What do you think about going back over to our dorm? It’s mainly you, Felix and Seungmin, who are still sick, so we could all take care of the three of you together.” Hyunjin tensed when he realized that multiple members were here to take care of him, though Felix was much worse and needed far more care. Nodding, the dancer agreed: “Sounds like a good plan, Lixxie needs cuddles.” – “Mhm, and Chan-hyung needs all his little sheep within his sight”, Jeongin giggled, “I think hyung has separation anxiety when it comes to us….”

“Hey”, Hyunjin rasped, when him and Jeongin joined Chan, Minho and Jisung in the living room. The leader had already talked to the pair about going back to Minho’s dorm and they were both onboard with it, as long as Hyunjin would be well enough to make it over there. Chan was on his feet in an instant, cupping Hyunjin’s cheeks before resting his hands on the dancer’s shoulders. Studying the boy’s glossy eyes, Chan breathed: “You okay?” Hyunjin nodded, putting on a smile. “Can we go over to Lixxie and Seungminnie”, he asked softly. He didn’t want to humiliate Chan in case the leader really had separation anxiety and he truly did want to cuddle Felix and Seungmin. Well, mainly Felix because he doubted the vocalist would tolerate it but he could try.

Chan’s shoulders sagged, tension visibly melting off of him. They’d all be together once again. Felix too would be happy to have Hyunjin back for cuddles, his fellow dancer always a source of comfort. Coughing into his sleeve, Hyunjin winced: “Lets get going while I still have the energy.”

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

I feel like Tighnari in the heat rn istg

it’s like 38° today but I need to get shit done 😭

I feel like being intolerant to the heat is really ironic for someone whose lived in Australia her whole life…

I swear, the only thing I can enjoy about this heat is thinking about how horrible it would be for poor Nari lmao

I love how we've all decided that we're going to cope with our misfortunes by passing them on to these fictional characters and turning them into a sickfic scenario. It's amazing.

But oh MAN, that is hot!! Stay hydrated!!

Tighnari would simply cease to exist with temperatures like that 😭

I love including heat in my fics. Maybe it's because I'm also living somewhere where it gets extremely hot so I have experience with high temperatures, but I really love adding warm weather to my fics. Especially since I feel like, if you're sick, heat just has a massive tendency to make it worse. Fevers and heat, of course that combination is an obvious nightmare. But a lot of other symptoms are also easily worsened by heat. Headaches, think of a character with a migraine who can't find a cool surface to rest their forehead on, while they're sweating bullets from the heat. Nausea, you know that flushed feeling you get when you're going to throw up? Multiply it by ten. Also dehydration. The list goes on. I love writing about heat.

(*cough* totally don't have a sick Tighnari fic AND a sick Aether fic coming up, where they are dealing with extreme heat on top of being sick...)

[ichijager13]

Teach me how to be loved

Chapter XI

Then what’s the worst, that could happen to a girl who’s already hurt?

Pairing : Eren Jäger x reader, past relationships: Reiner Braun x reader, Jean kristein x reader

Characters: Eren Jäger, Annie Leonhart, Pieck Finger, Reiner Braun, Jean Kristein, Carla Jäger, Sophie Jäger.

Tags: Unhealthy coping mechanism, unhealthy relationships, childhood trauma, physical and verbal abuse, self-esteem and trust issues, domestic violence, implied/ referenced cheating, and a touch of sweet, lovable, and non fuckboy Eren Jäger

This fic is brought to you by Lana Del Rey’s songs

Masterlist, AO3,  Playlists: Reader’s POV, Eren’s POV

A/N: Hello there, thank you for reading my work. I hope you’ll love this chapter and that you are enjoying this fic so far.

Thank you for interacting with my story and for all the love you are giving me.

As for the playlist I mentioned in the last chapter, I'm still working on it (almost ready), it contains songs related to reader's story with Eren, Jean, and Reiner. I really hope you'll love the songs that I picked.

Take care of yourselves and don't forget to drink water.

Ichi ❤️

PS: Likes and reblogs are more than appreciated. Have a nice day/evening

The next morning you woke up to the warmth of Eren’s body. Despite making you feel confused and unable to think straight, you love being around him. you nuzzled his neck before pulling away and laid there on your stomach watching him sleep. Although it felt weird to have someone sleeping in your bed, you took your time admiring him.

Like each time you find yourself near him, you are questioning how did you get into this situation? How did such a kind and gorgeous man enter your life? You knew damn well that he doesn’t belong in your world and that you certainly don’t belong in his either. You both stand on opposite sides of a river and yet, you always end up in his arms. No matter how fast you run, how far you get, and how well you hid, he always finds his way back to you. No matter what you do you always find yourself pulled back to him.

You don’t deserve him, that old familiar voice from the back of your head spoke.

You shook your head to get rid of your thoughts and ran a distracted hand through his tangled locks. Afraid you might contaminate him; you left a light peck on his shoulder before leaving bed. you ignored why, but you felt the urge to kiss him.

Coming back from the kitchen you found Eren still sleeping. You slipped under the covers and reached for your sketchbook from beside your bed. “Can I at least see it?” he spoke in his raspy morning voice when you put it down an hour later.

“When did you wake up?” you frowned.

“A while ago,” he responded hugging his pillow. Looking at him, you could’ve sworn you have never seen someone look this dazzling after just waking up.

Unaware you were smiling, you brushed away the strands of hair that partially covered his face. “Thank you.” was all you could say.

Your headache was gone and breathing through your nose became easier, but you were still coughing and your throat still feels sour. He opened his arms for you. Smile growing wider, you shook your head. “You might fall sick,” you squeaked when he pulled you closer.

You cracked up when you heard him grumble, “I’m a tough guy”. But soon your giggle was replaced by a weak moan when he nibbled your nape. “How do you feel?” he asked checking your temperature.

“Much better, thank you.”

“Thank God the fever is gone. you got me so worried last night.” He caressed your hair before hugging you.

Nuisance, that same voice from earlier hissed.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.

Pathetic. The tone became harsher.

“I ruined your night.”

“No, you didn’t, sweetheart. It’s not your fault.” The instant that the pet name registered in your head, the lecturing voice disappeared, and every nerve in your body was set on fire. In order to hide the giddy smile threatening to break through your face, you nestled your head in his chest. He doesn’t think you are a nuisance; those voices can go to hell for now. You won’t let anything ruin this moment.

Later that morning after he made sure you were doing better, Eren went home.

You were standing at your door when he spoke, “call or message me in case you felt unwell, alright?” you nodded smiling. “I’ll stop by tomorrow morning,” he followed playing with your locks. He tilted his head to plant a kiss on your forehead when you nodded, still smiling.

“I for sure wasn’t expecting that,” Pieck gasped. “Look, Annie, it’s Eren.” You both froze when you heard her.

“Pieck,” Annie sighed in defeat. “Good morning.” she flashed you an embarrassed smile.

Recovering from his surprise, Eren bid you goodbye, leaving the three of you standing on the staircase watching him walk away.

“You couldn’t be more discreet,” Annie hissed.

Ignoring her friend, Pieck glared at you. “Why you never told us you started dating.”

“Because we’re not,” you argued letting her come in.

“Bullshit,” she booed. “You saw too, Annie, didn’t you? the way they were looking at each other,” the brunette emphasized. “Wait, did you know?” she questioned her friend suspiciously.

Ignoring Pieck once again, the blonde inquired, “Are you alright? You seem tired and your voice is raspy.”

“And why are you surprised? The very reason just walked out of her place,” Pieck pointed out. “It’s been a while since we last saw you, so we decided to pay you a visit,” she explained. “To think that we’d be greeted by such a romantic sight.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“I caught a flu, that’s why,” you replied. “Coffee?” you asked heading to the kitchen.

“Let me take care of it,” Annie followed you.

“Don’t overreact, please, it’s nothing but a flue,” you huffed. “Plus, Eren got carried away and made enough coffee to serve the whole town.”

“Wait, don’t tell me you…” Pieck’s eyebrows drew together.

“No, Pieck, we didn’t screw up last night.” You poured coffee into your mugs. “You’re unbelievable,” you huffed. “He paid me a visit yesterday. Noticing I was in bad shape he refused to let me spend the night alone.” you clarified.

“That’s adorable.” She cooed.

“And how are you doing today?” Annie asked.

“Much better, the fever is gone and I can breathe easily through my nose,” you paused. “But this cough is bugging me, it’s making my sour throat feel worst.”

“What happened?”

“Walked under the rain,” you simply replied. “It was a Friday night,” you specified, noticing your friends’ round eyes. “And no, it wasn’t Eren,” you answered the pending question no one dared to ask after you cleared your throat.

“Damn, girl, your life is messy.” Pieck scrunched her nose. “But not your cookies,” she added reaching for another one.

“Thanks.”

“But seriously, why aren’t you two dating? You look like a match made in heaven.”

“a, because I don’t date, and b, how could you know? This is the first time you see us together.”

The dark-eyed woman rose a finger to stop you before she said, “and that’s where you’re wrong.” She offered you a cheeky smile. “I saw you together multiple times. At Annie’s wedding, the dinner organized by Armin’s company, earlier, aaaaand three weeks ago. You were leaving a coffee shop together.” Your jaw dropped at her answer. “I don’t know if you are being oblivious on purpose or if you are truly clueless.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Everything about him screams that he’s head over heels for you.”

“Pieck, please, we’re not in a movie”, you sighed. “This is real life, my life, not one of Julia Robert’s rom-com.” You glanced at Annie for backup.

“For once, I think I’m gonna agree with her,” she stated. You simply rose an eyebrow before taking another bite from your cookie.

“By the way, why you never told me that he was married and has a daughter?”

“Eren is divorced?” Pieck gasped.

“A widower,” you both spoke in unison.

“Poor thing,” she pouted.

“You met her?”

“Yes.”

“Honestly, I genuinely believed that he was just another one on the list that’s why.”

“That’s what I told him,” you pondered.

“But he’s not, right?” Pieck jumped in her place overly excited.

“I honestly don’t know,” you muttered messing with your teaspoon.

“Delivery service,” Eren chanted when Carla opened the door.

“Vatty!” Sophie jumped into her father’s arms.

“Hey there sweet girl,” he cooed pampering her cheeks with soft pecks. “Wie geht's? (How are you?)” He asked putting her down.

“Gut, und dir? was hast du mitgebracht? hast du vor, hier zu übernachten? I missed you Vatty. (Good, and you? What did you bring? Are you planning to spend the night here?)”

“Sehr gut, I miss you too, mein hase. I brought some chocolate lava cake, ice cream, and pizza. und ja, das werde ich. (And yes, I will).”

“I can’t eat all this, Vatty. Oma sagte, ich muss mich gesund ernähren, wenn ich eine große und schöne Frau wie Mama sein will. (Grandma said, I must eat healthy food if I want to become a big and beautiful woman like mom).”

Eren frowned, “nun, ich schätze, ich muss das ganz alleine essen. (Well, I guess I’ll have to eat this all by myself),” he pouted. “Oma, not funny.” He glanced at his mother.

“Nein, I can make an exception for you this time, richtige, Oma? (Right grandma?)” they both stared at Carla with big puppy eyes.

“Of course, but don’t eat too much.”

You laid on your couch after your friends left. You were desperately trying to focus on your book but you kept zoning out. after fruitless attempts, you gave up.

You closed your eyes thinking about your friends’ words.

“You are in denial,” Pieck pointed out. “You know he is into you and you like him too, you’re just too afraid to admit it”.

“And you are being delusional,” you simply replied.

But you know damn well she is right; you noted how often you think of him and how fast your humor shifts whenever he is around.

“At least give him a chance,” Annie whispered at the moment she bid you goodbye.

But you know you can’t do this, you can’t take such a risk, and you can’t allow yourself to commit the same mistake again. You will never permit yourself to believe in the myth that people call love because you know that shit is not for you.

“I’m just a broken piece who never belonged anywhere,” you mumbled bringing your knees against your chest. “I know my worth and I eventually ended up getting used to it, you know. Being lonely, left behind, mistreated, misunderstood, and ignored.” You looked back at the woman sitting across from you. “That’s just part of who I am and I learned that we can never run away from who we are. I believe that happiness is something out of my reach and I’m fine with it. I accepted my fate long ago, but then…” you paused, thinking about him, his warm smile, soft golden hair, and hazel eyes. “But then he happened. He came with his southern big smile, kind words, and that embrace that makes you feel safe. He made me think that maybe, just maybe I was wrong, that Jean was wrong, that even my father was wrong.” your voice was trembling but you continued anyway. “He made me believe that someone like me,” you pointed your finger at your chest. “A creature of the darkness can live in the light. He convinced me that I belong in his world.” A bitter smile turned up your lips. “I even came to the conclusion that the reason why I was so miserable throughout my life was that my hour didn’t come, that it was just because I haven’t met that one person who will make me happy. And I firmly believed that he is that person. I believed him and believed in him.” your smile twitched and your eyes shimmered with tears. “But he went and broke what I spent years and years patching up and fixing. Just like the others, he destroyed whatever brightness was still left inside of me. That day, when he left, he took away whatever hope I had left.” Your fingers were tracing invisible circles on the armchair. “And now it’s too late, I can’t be saved, Zeynep. I’m a sinking ship, I’m nothing but an old, rusty, and broken machine.” You blinked chasing away your tears. “What belongs to the darkness must always remain there or else it will be blurred or even worst taint all the beautiful and bright things surrounding it. and I was desperate enough, stupid enough to believe it was the opposite.” You darted your face away, fixing the grey sky outside. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate him; I just wish I never met him and I don’t want to see him again,” you whispered minutes later.

Leave him alone, the voice ordered. Eren deserves more and better than what you have to offer, you know that. He deserves a happy woman who can make up for the loss of his wife and bring more joy to his life, you were well aware of this. however, for some obscure reasons, you couldn’t let him go.

‘Cause you are selfish, the voice responded. Do you think he’d actually want you? he’s staying around because he enjoyed the sex. You wanted it to stop, you wanted to mute that voice for good. but… Jean did say that you were only good for sex, well he did when he wasn’t comparing you to others who were far better and selfless than you.

You genuinely wanted to set him free, to save him from your dark twisted soul, to be happy. You wished you had the resolve to sever ties with him, still… you were selfish enough to not do it, at least not right away. Just a little longer, you whispered caressing the sketch you drew this morning when he was pretending to be asleep.

Your train of thought was interrupted by your phone. you received a call from Eren.

“I hope I didn’t wake you up.” you heard him say as soon as you picked up.

“No, I was reading.”

“Sorry for interrupting. How are you?”

“Much better, thank you, Eren,” you replied smiling. You know you shouldn’t be doing this, that you were still healing from your past wounds. You were conscience that if you keep playing with fire, no matter how mesmerizing it looks, you’ll end up burning yourself. And you weren’t ready for such a thing, you weren’t in shape to fall for him. but how could you resist him?

You’re a fool, the voice laughed.

And you knew you were. But what were you going to lose when you had nothing to hold on to? What’s the worst that could happen to you? you pondered.

Just make sure not to come back crawling, and crying like a wounded soldier, the voice sighed visibly annoyed.

With these thoughts in mind, you continued listening to him talk about various topics before you asked, “Are you coming tomorrow?”

“Of course, unless you’re busy or something.”

“No, I’m free,” you responded. “I don’t have any plans for tomorrow.” That night, you fell asleep to Eren’s voice.

He wasn’t sure about what it was, but something between you has changed. A change he’d been hoping for since that night at dinner Armin organized two months ago. After you fell asleep, he went back to his bedroom. He pulled the blanket over his shoulders and pulled his daughter closer before dozing off to the thought of your sweet smile.

[berlinbisque]

Proud Reject (Part 1)

I’m literally blind my eyesight has deteriorated further everything’s blurry the day starts in bed & ends like that too no sunlight no connection with the outside world no one to talk to just my phone and my thoughts & loads of tears… that’s how everyday begins and ends. Its not self imposed, this happens when you are isolated by people. I can’t type but I wanted to write this… I love this mini story or script more than my next book even though the book’s more interesting but out of personal choice I like the story which I’ll be sharing tomorrow more than that, it’s not on any professional level it’s just something I would’ve discussed with a friend and laughed ie. if I had friends, something started that particular “topic�� and I couldn’t help wondering… what if?

My heart was in my mouth again cuz I received a reel on FB which had his friend Aditya (he was either pretending to be him in 2016 or he himself inspite of being engaged was interested idk) they were dancing like most tv ppl and I got another panic attack… my mother was already torturing me, I woke up with high fever I still have fever headache it’s been there since a week I’m getting wheezing due to continuous crying and I realised that he wants someone famous to make such videos too. Someone rich and famous like that. Even in abroad there’s no pressure, over there all those celebs (who are are much more popular) even the ones in their early 20s when they make videos that too just one or two out of fad, they film it on their cheap phones they don’t care about the blurry quality they are not trying to sell it, they just don’t care about all that and those who are of my age (still nowhere close to Aditya, he was older than Harsh also) some of them, even if they have all those pics that I personally like (with their boyfriends - trekking or at the lake, casual everyday candid shots) they still find it hard to cope with social media and they eventually take a break from it, had they been in my position they too would’ve ended up like this out of all that pressure. I can’t keep up with your life. Few things that I’ll like to share before starting with my story, A - the sketches I’m sorry if he was hurt. I had not made them, my book wasn’t like Rupi Kaur’s either it never had those intimate doodles. I think my mother stalks me (I don’t want to write about her publicly but I have to share all this please don’t judge me by her) and she has taken advantage of a lot of things and also challengingly said “Did anyone come to help you? Everyone hates you and no one pays attention no one cares, everyone wants you to die and you will die alone like this” she has also told me a lot of hurtful things related to that guy, taking advantage of that as well and and the problem is (my hands are cold n numb lifeless rn) I can’t convey my feelings directly through some app or something so I have to rely on these public posts NO MAILS he ain’t some God or Celebrity (being a celebrity means being celebrated not deprecated) I’m not some groupie or teenager to mail my fav celebrity crush and he doesn’t belong to any boy band. What’s in it for me? Will I be rescued from my mother or helped with my health issues which started DUE TO HIM? Or is he just gonna sit there reading my mail, getting happy with all the validation after which he’ll ignore it. Am I that? Hahaha I’m not into human worship. We are more focused on our lives… especially those like me in my position. She has told me several times that I’m a “sl-u-tt” for being in LOVE or for falling in love. She also came up with the forcer tag even thought it was torturous for me and I kept crying and saying STOP stop stop cuz for us as girls rape or force is worse than murder, I never wanted him to marry me just to take responsibility for his actions I never wanted to punish him with myself and I always respected him and I’ll continue to do so I’m not his fans to write cheap comments like I saw in that dancing video (they were writing about his shirt). That tacky shirt made the whole video even more disturbing, and I didn’t see the entire thing I was in the middle of a panic attack, I just saw one shot then I died. After that I vomited, my pressure was falling rapidly and I kept crying for days cuz you know what right… (25th Oct) anyway I never shared this (one more reason/aspect) like that Chote Pandit tells Ruhaan or Ruh Baba “Aap par aise chichore kapde jajte nahi hai” I was like aah that is what they call it… anyway haha but I don’t want anyone who is being an “eye candy” for other females on television, they come and hit on him in comments that too cheap comments. Yes everyone’s doing it but that’s why we are so depressed and you are anyway not with me I don’t even get a fraction of your day or time.

My mother used that word force several times (she has said other unimaginable offending things too) cuz I was crying and it was triggering me, she said it because I wanted him to say something (but we weren’t even discussing that) for talking or communication cuz I just wanted his OCD to break. It started within 24 hours and not how you might think we met on 2nd Oct then 2 years later 2nd April and I know that we all feel jaded to text sometimes or keep the conversation going, we might not feel enthusiastic anymore after that initial excitement or whatever but it wasn’t like that, if it would’ve been that I wouldn’t have even taken so much stress. We’ve all done that at some point in our lives, internet makes us lethargic, we also get addicted to more exploration or finding new people to talk to… we feel like we can do better or take our time to choose whoever’s the most ideal for us, but his case was totally different.

At some point we would all respond or say something maybe after a week or even after getting let’s say - reconnected after losing contact or reaching a temporary impasse. We wouldn’t hold on to any grudge or some kind of a “promise” he swore never to talk to me, there was nothing to be mad about, he just decided that we will never have any direct contact his parents also said “We don’t want to keep any talukaat (contact) particularly with your daughter” he kept liking my pics BUT not replying to any of the texts (when he started liking my photos religiously I texted him on FB messenger because I thought maybe my texts weren’t getting through and I wasn’t receiving his due to some glitch but he READ those FB texts and still didn’t respond) and even after that he was liking the pics then when I told him “Are u feeling sorry for me, why do you keep liking the photos, is it the BB pin what you wanted, I even gave you a reason that too it was all funny and I gave it the very same night as soon as I woke up in the middle of it I gave it” he removed me from the list after that. I am getting wheezing I can’t get overwhelmed I had shared the exact thing which I told him when he was asking for my pin (long ago) I can’t keep reiterating everything everywhere. He then kept blocking and ignoring my real account but speaking to the fake ID

The coincidences and those premonitions in my dreams had already started which made me more curious about his behaviour so I tried talking to him but that fake ID like I said was for my school friend who was also stalking me with her fake ID. And I would not see his stories or anything, I was playing her Snapchat story but his was queued so it started playing by default where I saw that training session. When I tried speaking to him using my real acc… he not only blocked me AS SOON AS HE HEARD MY NAME (like I said he wanted no “direct” contact between me and him) he also made his account private. He made me feel like a stalker, I had already started getting panic attacks and I had stopped watching TV it has been off since then (2015 Sept) I tried moving on in Aug itself but I told you what happened over and over again, same old story repeated heartbreaks… cuz they only wanted girls like me as a call girl and according to them only pageant winners or models, fair and rich or extremely famous girls even those with notoriety (nothing worth all that attention) who were out of their league were all meant for dating. I never fell in that category. Eventually they ended up with actual call girls. I have seen their pics and I’ve seen some in real life too. All those other girls whom they were chasing would treat them like “fans” karma. Not only actors everyone these days does that and then girls of my level (caliber) get married to roadside romeos and illiterate creeps/pervs cuz all those men also want someone out of their league and they prey on us… this is a common problem in India. Anyway like I said I just wanted to see if he still remembered me by the end of that year and if he still hated me (for no reason) I had not added him to view his stories but he blocked me and made everything private. I’m twitching it affects me subconsciously now… my mother also makes me feel like this after years of (weird) coincidences which were linked to him and all that insensitivity (the story escalated he never made peace his behaviour only got worse along with all that humiliating ignorance) since she called me a “sl-tt” for falling in love with him I eventually ended up telling her that her marriage was literally arranged it wasn’t a love marriage but yet she got prégnant so many times so was that out of love or lust? I never wanted to get on such terms with her but she would keep torturing me (she had thrashed me ruthlessly even after getting fibromyalgia several times cuz I have no one in this world to support me or tell her anything) she has in fact told me a lot of harmful and offending things (out of gloating) “Dekho kuch aur kabhi koi nahi mila iss aurat ko yeh akeli hi reh gayi” and laughed (I was 25) I’ve been getting addressed as aurat or woman ever since I was 12. I was told I should’ve drowned during 26th July floods and never returned from school I would sit on the stairs with my heavy bag famished and parched everyday after coming home for 2-3 hours cuz my mother would not leave keys for me, and then get tortured at home for another one hour, I would keep telling myself one day someone will come and all this would end but I ended up being bed ridden because of whoever came and it continued for many more years to come, all my youth and adulthood.

I was never a likeable girl whom you could fall in love with, I never had those superficial attributes (white complexion, money, fame etc. they would only try to treat us like call girls that’s why I’m a lip virgin) . When I said about love and arranged marriages she said she had every right cuz she was legally married and I’m a forcer rapist (for wanting to know the reason behind his sudden silence and that absurd behaviour) she keeps saying or blurting these things out because of unrequited love cuz no one likes or wants me, it’s perceived as a social stigma in India. Cuz there’s nothing from the opposite side not even care or basic concern as a Co-human literally how can someone be so insensitive? She says all that derisively, again out of gloating and competition just to pull me down as another female. Today things were worse even though I had wheezing and I’m still getting it + fever and headache. I’m gonna cut it short now I’ve written a lot…

So coming back to the OCD or whatever part where he had made a rule that there would be no direct contact - he would either speak to my fake ID or use his own friend’s ID but one of us had to be someone else. Go through this link: https://www.lilacnights.com/post/surprise The other day I murmuring in my sleep I was so disoriented I kept saying “Aditya came with his gf Aditi… God knows for what, Harsh was also 10 kms away Aditya had said he would go to some bakery in Kandivali for evening snacks Kandivali is where they would reside he was at his house even though he would always be 6 kms away which is Malad” then I said to myself “No wake up it’s Tanvi not Aditi obviously”

I had told you, the Devil or angels all these entities in fact can probably read our minds and you know when I was browsing certain quotes it’s as if they were talking to me… one of them reflected exactly what I was thinking a few days back - Since I had seen his house in 2015-16 I knew he wasn’t rich and like I said he wasn’t even that big on Instagram or FB no blue tick and 2500-3000 followers with 250 likes, from his (natural) pics I thought he wasn’t that good looking or fair (it’s just that he wasn’t very photogenic) and so I fell in love with him but then some tarot reader told me (I had to rely on all that cuz he was not saying anything) that he was reluctant cuz he thought I was like a gold digger so I started cutting down all my expenses worked on several articles for my blogs back then, I was 20 but I was trying to be as understanding as possible… I started buying things on Sale literally if you’ve noticed for 100s-1000 all these years because of my panic attacks I never saw him after 2016 Feb and I thought maybe that is what he wanted there was anyway no hope from the others, and I had coincidences or signs here so I thought I’ll do this and then I realised it was all futile, all the selflessness and altruism it just wasn’t worth it. I even wrote a letter and clarified/acknowledged that it could be one sided while also sharing my feelings for him cuz I thought he would also cut down on his expenses because his brother was jobless like mine. That’s why I hate today’s generation they ruin everyone’s life along with their’s but I’m from Gen Z I’m actually younger than his younger brother it’s just that they are always like that, they have no pressure or expectations. I poured lots of love in that letter for this part but he hated me and then he had that stage show with her which broke my heart and I never gave it and my mother also was about to hit me again cuz she secretly read that (it had nothing which could’ve made her that livid or furious not even like a proper I love you or anything) she just said “Stop trying to look great or good” I saw the Devil’s numbers so I’m guessing it was him you had read my mind when I was telling myself that it was all wrong, I shouldn’t have ever tried being ideal for someone like that when he was already well off or rich or good looking he never needed love like me that’s why he never even understood anything, I don’t know why his house looked like that or if like ppl say Gujjus actually hide money but it was all deceptive, he was already too good he never needed love he was in a way better position. I kept saying I should’ve enjoyed and loved my life instead of getting bed ridden and cutting down everything, living on that bare minimum stuff c’mon… he showed a quote which had the exact same emotions and it was talking about all this too.

Then there were more quotes again with my thoughts but with answers this time - As a piece of advice *clears throat* the Devil’s like “Times change, we change, our choices change too… maybe you should just live out your dreams now” the background images everything all the signs suggested/reminded me of the rest of the stuff, let’s say he wants some tv actress to make those stupid immature dance reels (remember what had happened last time right? Two of them in their 40s made a misogynistic video where he was liye talk throwing her around and getting abusive and for some reason that was supposed to be funny and then that guy that “actor” he actually slammed her head against the wall in real life cuz he was having an affair) the fortune telling app said he wants someone “talented” to make those reels and earn money ummm seriously? You are going to hold auditions and another Swayamvar for this? You actually need talent for such stupid ass videos? Really? 😂🤣🤣🤣 He reminded me of my dreams (ironically the Devil not him) and he’s right here so if he is “rejecting” me for these reels like overage teenagers then even I will say - I want some NRI who stays abroad and who will take me away from all this (I gave examples of so many famous celebrities from MY age group all these ppl making videos are older, those celebs they don’t do all this and even if they do it cuz it’s a fad now it’s shot on blurry pixelated quality for fun not money and some of them they take all those cute casual pics and use Instagram like a digital album like some of our Indian Bollywood celebs and that’s it, they don’t turn this into a career that too most of it is just for attention) so yeah he’s right if he’s rejecting me for that especially after I’ve become conscious I don’t even look good so yeah I’m not suitable for the camera I have become agoraphobic I haven’t left my room since 2017 I’ve become bed ridden and he is still thinking selfishly about his own life then I also want a rescuer an actual hero who will take me abroad because why is he even staying India? Just got fame right? You hardly get anything here, we needed something for our living room and bathroom some important fixtures and even there there’s literally no choice or even proper functionality. If you see the state of our roads or the air quality outside you’ll literally feel like shifting there… it’s getting worse day by day, we hardly get any quality product here, prices are getting hiked and unlike abroad there are no alternatives, I keep getting cheap ads from “homegrown businesses” in India who are busy making Sx toys, the land of superficial Kama sutra and Chappis or pervs what else do you expect? Indians don’t need beautiful cosy homes or designer spaces (that too in a budget) or other things such as good quality food or air or any kind of consumption like that cuz they are only good at fcking and having kids. Our population shows that there are literally no brains here… my head is paining.

My mother would never believe or support me when I would say I’m always about to face molestation in the school bus cuz I’m my stop was last and I would be the only girl left everyday I would force myself to somehow keep away my head wud keep banging against the window cuz I would get drowsy, they (driver and cleaner) didn’t even spare a KG toddler, I eventually took things into my own hand and the cleaner’s frustration was evident that day and when I grew up I saw smother school bus’s driver ogling me (when I was a teenager) in my car, I immediately looked behind to see if they were being accompanied by a teacher cuz that was a new rule but the teacher was sitting obliviously completely ignorant to that in her own sweet world… (Jamnabai Bus) another toddler’s case came on tv that year where they parents had paid 10k for her picnic where she was raped and the teacher kept threatening and manipulating and raping her repeatedly he was a sad case my hands are again I’ve cold I had to mention all that this is one more reason why I don’t want kids anymore and this country it’s unlivable. I can’t stay here. All my school friends are married to NRIs, and I don’t want to stay here either… in fact considering my thoughts and everything I should’ve been the first to move. All my school friends would think I was from there… Someone had even told me that I was too sophisticated to be here when it saw my old website (I don’t have it now) he was surprised it was made in India. We asked about the bathroom hardware btw, I just received a response and as guessed they’ve shifted everything to exports inspite being an Indian brand, all the good stuff is reserved for Dubai and other places… people who don’t deserve to be there (cheap bimbos) have already shifted, for me I just fell short of the mark because of my looks ur complexion I don’t know what to blame. Look at these beautiful velvety chenille cushions with all those intricate designs (traditional + Aztec) I have studied all this on my own… you don’t get this stuff in India btw, we get nothing here.

I somehow got those items, it’s me Zara after all I can’t keep something ugly or bad in that bathroom, there has to be congruity like everything else I’m always in sync with the universe. We felt like thieves though to buy things made in Rajasthan as if it was all smuggled. In India girls develop a defence mechanism from an early age, it might sound like really dreary and lascivious if I’ll keep bringing up this topic but in this particular article I feel like I’ll have to discuss it not explicitly but I’ll have to make you understand why as girls or more precisely as ineligible (darker toned females who don’t have a rich father to buy a bridegroom for her, who won’t be able to afford any dowry you might think times have changed BUT I literally heard someone in my own family shouting and saying “My best friend’s girl has several hotels at her name her father is a business tycoon and look at me I can’t woo anyone like that, where am I? Uske gf ke baap ki itni saari hotelein hai dekho and wht about me?” He doesn’t even want to get married. That same gf was so weird she had a deviant personality she locked him from outside while they were on a trip God knows for what reason and kept him under lock and key. He woke up locked in that room.

We deal with lecherous men from the age of 10-11 and all these educated men who are supposed to take care of us are feeding us to the wolves I wanted someone of my caliber to talk to who would understand my thoughts, who would’ve able to keep up with me and my conversations someone who himself is fathomable and not some illiterate incoherent cheap vulgar man like that creep from Bhopal YET I WAS FORCED to talk to him, they left me with no choice until I blocked him and he kept coming and harassing me, he was a perv and you know his story. Is that not FORCE? In fact it’s all UNFAIR it’s the other way round… I have dealt with married creepy ugly men touching me by taking advantage of the crowd on school trips - we feel molested and exploited we feel like killing ourselves, and when a girl gets rejected for no reason she didn’t even like got chance to probably get liked for her personality or other things (we put make more efforts than all those good looking fair rich girls hoping we’ll get chosen by someone or the other) but at the end we get rejected not only for love or CARE, (every girl’s fav word) but also for emotional, financial and physical security, we are deprived of that too. We can’t depend on our old parents when we are surrounded by so many pervs who are getting further encouraged by INTERNET. Now all the pseudo feminists will be like - “You can’t learn Judo Karate (some of us have certain illnesses and unfortunately the ones triggered by stress are skyrocketing amongst girls that too chronic destabilising ones like Lupus (systematic disorder) Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto’s syndrome, Neurasthénia which I got after fibro due to cov & 5th Mar stress ) They will say “You can’t learn kick boxing? Karate? Pork chop? Use pepper spray…?” At the risk of what? Incurring their wrath & getting acid thrown at our face? “You can’t ask for a raise?” They sometimes pay more to men cuz they are the sole bread winners in some families and at times single girls and boys BOTH are given a smaller paycheck. There are places where they do add more zeroes for men but even after bringing up that topic things haven’t changed for us… next “Why can’t you work during your pregnancy why take a maternity leave? You are a woman we are strong invincible we don’t need that, how old fashioned? Why take an epidural? Why Caesarean? Why can’t you juggle work life and kids both? Why have children? Too primitive? Why can’t you have kids? Too ambitious? (Well there are several other reasons) Why be a homemaker? Why become a working girl? Be modern we don’t work 9 to 5… Why can’t you just party, booze and smoke and then grow your own weed, sell it & become an entrepreneur… like a female Pablo Picasso… why can’t you? Is it only for men?” All these pseudo feminists will immediately ask these things, the moment you talk about being deprived of emotional, physical or financial security which is like the need of the hour right now for females they’ll start asking such nonsensical questions that you’ll feel like pulling a trigger in your mouth instead of answering them. But what I meant to say is that is what rejection is for us. We have no hope left and our future becomes uncertain and scary. Speaking of wanting to move somewhere abroad… I would’ve probably stayed back if I had someone here, you stay for people you love… I have no one to keep me here, they actually all want me to die they are waiting for that. No one cares about my life or me…

Considering everything that I had to hear… (my head is paining so please ignore all the errors/typos) and how people have behaved with me especially him and my mother, I don’t want that forcer chaser tag anymore so if you are ready to accept me only then you can approach or if you want be friends then I’m also cool with that but don’t be fickle like him, if you are not sure then either stay away or be honest… if you don’t want me but still want to be around and if you are okay with risking your integrity although I’m very good at keeping secrets then we can have a half open marriage like I had suggested earlier. I had written all this long ago…

Girls like me who are considered “untalkable” can only dream of a platonic relationship… in my dreams sometimes I have someone by my side holding my hand when I feel like I’m dying during those convulsions or tremors and violent jerking/twitching throughout my body, I get wheezing too and even my heart muscles go through that; having said that in real life it involves romantic feelings minus intimacy and it’s unimaginable to think that someone would like us, we can use the other house mates alternative which again considering how he has made me… ugly and all and how much my mother hates having me around, I feel it would be difficult for someone to put up with me in the same environment, she keeps praying for my death cuz she “cannot stand me” (just like the guy I loved the most) and ego would want to hang around? I always wanted to be with him, watch TV, shop together, put my arm around his neck, talk, do fun things like sharing those interesting or unbelievable bizarre stories (well I have a lot now) build our home, decorate it and spend our life together, now that life is gone along with 8-10 years of my youth, I could never be with him. When they create characters like us on screen they show us like psychos, one sided forcers, they do cover these things like watching tv or preparing breakfast but we are still shown as some creep who is forcing someone to be around & craving for their presence, fighting for their time and attention. They depict us like those psychos and we end up feeling more scared 😱 hence we never talk about this. Speaking of mutualism, well maximum of these stories start off as not only mutual but also with loads of attention from the opposite side, they lure you and then humiliate. Also, who would want to watch TV with me? I can crack jokes and make you laugh if you want to be House Mates, you won’t get bored and if you aren’t like my mother then you’ll even get used to my appearance and it won’t bother you after some time. Platonic is where you can watch movies or tv together, as house mates we can use the living area as a common room apart from that we will have our own space where we can stay separately, My head is paining a lot and I have a lot of fever so I’m gonna continue the funny story tomorrow…

Gn Zara Sauleh

Coincidences - www.lilacnights.com/post/stupid-cupid

My Dream Life 👇🏻

Just so you know… this is My Dream Life. This is what I want, a warm cosy home, sunsets by the lake, Amsterdam canals & rivers, round windows, quaint little shops, egrets & ducks, some puppies, warm amber lights, 90s vibes, freshly baked viennoiseries 🥐 and love + a little bit of tranquility. Credit for videos - | utrechtalive | & | elbgestoeber | (couldn’t tag cuz I’ve seen some bloggers asking ppl to take down their videos so didn’t want to tag them I have added their usernames)

[englishlistwords]

. Food Intolerances, Leaky Gut and Histamine Toxicity Food intolerances and allergies play a starring role in the presence of eczema and its incessant itch. You may be doing everything perfectly to avoid mould and dust in the home, but that won’t be much help if your eczema is triggered by that yoghurt or Kombucha you are consuming everyday for breakfast! One person's medicine, is another's sleepless night itching. Histamine toxicity and leaky gutIt's hard to avoid fad foods when EVERYONE says they are "good for eczema", "good for leaky gut" etc. We get asked about fermented foods nearly every day, so we thought we would cover WHY you should resist this fad ...

Fermented foods can be the worst for eczema as they are very rich in histamines.What are histamines?

Histamines are a type of amine that is produced in your body during an allergic reaction - histamine causes the swelling and itchiness you experience when you eat a food you are allergic to. You can also eat histamine-rich foods and histamine-releasing foods in your diet. Dietary histamines require enzymes called DAO and HNMT in order break down the histamines so they don't accumulate and cause damage in the body.

The issue is this... The more histamines you consume in your diet, the more vitamin B6, vitamin C, zinc, copper, magnesium and other DAO supporting nutrients you will need in order for your body to cope. When you run out of any one of these nutrients, histamine toxicity can occur.

Histamine toxicity can make your skin crazy itchy. It's painful, and hard to correct once you fill up your histamine bucket. Histamine intolerance symptoms mimic an allergic reaction and can include: diarrhoea, headache, sinusitis, asthma, hay fever, low blood pressure, heart arrhythmias, hives, eczema, itchy skin (pruritus), skin flushing

Histamine-rich foods

I bet most of the following histamine-rich foods are your favourite foods, because histamine (amines) have flavour-enhancing properties that are highly addictive. Fermented dairy products, Yoghurt, Kefir, Cheese, Pickles, Kombucha, Sauerkraut, Cured meats (salami, sausages, ham etc), Cacao, Chocolate, Avocado, Mushrooms, Wine, champagne and most alcohol, Tofu, Soy sauce and tamari sauce

Vinegars (including apple cider vinegar), Slow cooked meats, Dates and other dried fruits, Leftovers from the fridge, Smoked fish, Fish that has not been stored properly, Eggplant, Spinach, Tomatoes, Broth

Note how many popular health foods are on this list. I feel a craving coming on now.

I really like these foods and in moderation (if you don't have eczema or histamine issues) they are totally okay to eat. Still, I totally understand why you may despair at this list. But ...Sometimes you have to give up the foods you love because they are hurting you.It's like giving up on a violent spouse or a friend who is bullying you. You eventually distance yourself from harm, because that's good for you.

High histamine foods could be hurting you but you won't know for sure unless you avoid them for a bit of time (then test them).

When I ate high histamine foods I felt anxious and depressed, and after about a year of feeling mildly unwell, I suddenly became itchy and developed body aches, especially when I ate fermented foods or caffeine (caffeine blocks the DAO enzyme needed to break down histamines). Now I have given up these foods, I feel energetic, happy and amazing on most days. I wake up feeling good and I don't need a coffee or tea to 'wake up' anymore. "Do I miss having a morning cuppa? Yes, occasionally, but what I love more is feeling young and energetic and happy - that's worth more than any cup of coffee or tea!"

Histamine toxicity and leaky gut

Histamine toxicity is associated with leaky gut - it's certainly not the only cause but it is a contributing factor. And leaky gut will worsen your eczema. So it's important to avoid histamine-rich superfoods such as kefir and kombucha in gut healing protocols...

I know these foods are commonly recommended in gut healing protocols (what the?). But one thing is clear: not enough people know about the dangers of eating too many histamine-rich foods all at once. It depletes your DAO enzyme and other important enzymes so your body can become unable to degrade histamines effectively. The new 'fermented craze' could be why histamine toxicity is becoming a growing problem. Histamine toxicity doesn't usually happen overnight (unless you get food poisoning), it's usually a gradual decline in health that can eventually trigger the immune system to become hyperactive.

What is a safe alternative?

The Eczema Detox is a book I wrote to help my patients and readers to get well. It is the new version of my older books The Eczema Diet and The Healthy Skin Diet (Exisle Publishing). Within the book there is a Food Intolerance Diagnosis (FID) Program specifically designed to help people with skin inflammation (eczema, TSW, psoriasis etc.) to work out their trigger foods. You may have heard of the FID Program online.

Rather than follow a diet blindly, with the FID Program you are working out YOUR specific trigger foods, so you know what foods to avoid and what foods to safely enjoy for clear, healthy skin. It's a science-based food program that is low in histamines. It's also designed to heal the gut and boost the health of your liver and skin. You can find out more about the book here.

5. Nutritional Deficiencies

If your body is low or deficient in magnesium, calcium, zinc, molybdenum, biotin or any other B-group vitamin, your eczema won't clear up until you correct the deficiency.

Your skin is literally made from the foods and drinks you consume.Your skin is made up of nutrients, essential fatty acids and amino acids from protein foods. These nutrients are essential for skin health and deficiencies in these vitamins and minerals result in impaired skin repair.

For example: Molybdenum is an important mineral your body needs on order to process sulfites. Without enough molybdenum in your diet, you develop sulfite intolerance which means you adversely react to sulfite-rich products such as wine, vinegar, dried fruits, some medicines, sauerkraut, pickles and cheese (to name a few).

When you consume molybdenum along with vitamin B5, you are less likely to have food intolerances and sulfite intolerance. I developed the Skin Friend AM (which contains molybdenum) and Skin Friend PM supplements after my daughter developed severe eczema, as I could not find supplements that were free of colours, salicylates, histamines, vitamin A, flavourings and sugar. (Vitamin A dries out the skin and causes flaking skin.)

For years I prescribed Skin Friend AM and PM to my eczema patients in order to correct nutritional deficiencies and support skin health. After years of feedback and testing, the supplements are now available online. If you would like more information you can read the customer and patient reviews on this page. Do you have eczema?

If so, do the following check-list to see if you have undiagnosed triggers:

1. Have you checked for mould in your home or office? Fifty percent of homes in the US have mould damage - it's not rare and it can harm your health. Consult an expert in your area if you are unsure what to do.

2. Have you had allergy testing and have you made your bed dust-mite proof? A zip-up mattress protector is a must.

3. Are you managing stress properly, or just complaining about it? Get pro-active - it's your life, you should enjoy it.

4. Are you eating foods rich in histamines or are you eating well but your skin is not getting better? You should try the FID program or the Detox Program to help you get answers.

5. Do you have nutritional deficiencies and are you taking supplements? Stop wasting your money on supplements that contain skin irritants, and ensure you are taking pure vitamins and minerals that do not contain tabletting agents, colors, flavorings, fillers or capsules. Purity matters.

[booblywooblies]

possibly the weirdest bout of horny so far, idk what was going on bc i wasnt intending to try to convince my husband to have sex he was waking up from a nap and i just came in to hang out with him. but i was very horny and we tried a bit where he was like "you try to turn me on and well see where it goes" and it didnt go well because i have that big insecurity issue lately and i kind of turned it into a silly mood (a coping mechanism i use a lot whenever i experience shame) and he didnt mind that it didnt work but it sent me spiraling

problem was i was still horny despite the depression and only getting hornier, i told orin "it feels like im in heat, oh my god this is what it feels like for ferrets when they dont get fixed THIS IS WHY THEY DIE" and i didnt mean to but i think i made him feel like he sort of had to relieve me (i talked to him about it afterward he said he did also want to experiment with the "breeding" thing and used it as an opportunity) and it was weird because i didnt care about getting off literally at all, like my husband brought me my bullet and i told him it wouldnt help i JUST wanted to get penetrated

weirdly as i was getting worked up i asked him to fondle my chest (something i do sometimes but fairly rarely) and play with my nipples, something ive NEVER let him do because i have this thing where whenever my nipples get stimulated (even accidentally by wearing a towel for too long or something) i get a really weird really negative feeling, and recently i havent dealt with it as much because i think my nipples sensitivity has gone down on T but he managed to trigger it and like, so the feeling i get from them is something i tend to describe as "feeling violated" but weve been talking about CNC a lot lately and so i kind of just decided to lean into it

then of course it got him turned on and he walked me to the other room, bent me over, pushed my face into the bed and made me scream, using a condom this time so he could cum inside me (an uncommon method in this household even in the context of rare penetration)

and then i cried for probably the first time since ive started T, and immediately got a headache even though i didnt finish (i get a headache after i orgasm like 90% of the time) not because it was bad or it hurt i just do that whenever we go a little rough sometimes?? idk i think its just a sensory thing it has no correlation with my emotions

but i DID feel kind of weirdly dysphoric afterwards, i think obviously the boob stuff contributed but i feel like going ferret mode felt kind of bad... it was just very FEMALE feeling yknow, like ugh why do i feel comparable to something that wants to be bred (i dont think breeding is actually a real component for us anyway even if it were pretend)

but i think it reminded me of how i felt when i got really horny as like a teenager, or an early adult and having like baby fever and stuff. theres something about just being made slave to your hormones that SUCKS and i mean i know my hormones arent FEMALE hormones anymore so i shouldnt associate the feeling with being female but it was so weird idk.

[interculturalchaos]

Healthcare Contexts in Mexico

The majority of Mexicans utilize biomedicine and pharmacology practices. An additional belief system practiced primarily by indigenous, rural, or poor areas, is folk medicine which is a mixture of supernatural, religious and holistic perspectives (Health Beliefs). These culturally complex beliefs have influenced illness prevention and treatment. When visiting a hospital that practices biomedicine, patients and doctors will still use prayer, in addition to physiological treatments, as a tool to fight off illness. Common practices used by those who practice folk medicine include humoral imbalance, empacho, envidia, and susto (Traditional Practices). Another practice is mal de ojo or evil eye which is when someone looks at you with jealousy or negative intentions. This causes fatigue, severe headaches, and sleepiness. The remedy is passing an egg over the body of the person and having them sleep next to it. I remember my Grandma doing this to me when I experienced these symptoms as well as a fever. She did it just to be safe as I had already taken cold medicine.

Mexican culture’s view of death is like most of the world’s in that they mourn those who have passed away, but that’s about it. They are very different because they see death as a means for celebrating that person’s life. This is largely because most Mexicans are Catholic and believe in an afterlife. If they believe their loved one died and is now in heaven, why would they not have reason to celebrate? Funerals in Mexico usually take the form of 24–48-hour vigils where family and friends gather to pray, practice Catholic mass, and share memories before they bury their loved one (Mexican Funeral). Mexicans are also exposed to death from a young age (Embracing Death). I thought this was interesting as many Americans think it is wrong to discuss death with children or even teenagers.

If I had a friend who was considering taking a job with a non-governmental organization providing healthcare services in Mexico, I would have a few bits of advice for them on how to communicate effectively with the people there. The first would be to read up on folk medicine. I imagine this friend would be visiting areas of less population so they would encounter people who believe in supernatural, magic, or religious remedies. I think understanding their perspective might help you collaborate with them when it comes to treatment. For example, illnesses like stomachache or indigestion are thought of as a dislocation and called empacho (Traditional Practices). It is usually treated by rubbing oil on the stomach or pinching the spine. If my friend was aware of this, they could approach the patient proposing to both pinch their spine and prescribe them something like omeprazole for a short time. I am sure this sounds easier than it is but hopefully, they can adapt as they go. Another thing I would recommend they do is seek to understand the Mexican view of death. It might seem weird to an American that the family of the deceased is celebrating the day after the death. Of course, this is normal in Mexico and is a form of coping. Overall, my advice could be summed up as recommending the practice of cultural competence.

[htncs]

Reasons I'm Sad

I'm trans

Work sucks

Work sucks and yet the expectation is that you're super positive and excited about work - that you have a ~*~career~*~

I live in A Society

You need money (see #2)

Everything takes effort and even if I put in the effort, at some point in the future I will get tired again and remember that I am trans and what's the point anyway? Most people are miserable with their jobs and if they aren't miserable at their jobs then they're the lucky bastards. But everyone ages, everyone dies, everyone has someone around them die or something terrible happen. We all get sick at some point - headaches, fevers, a bad nights sleep, a crick in the neck, lower back pain, itchiness, dry skin, a stubbed toe, a paper cut. Psychologically, it's just a mine field - even if you're doing ok, there are children in Africa dying (both in the literal and metaphorical sense). How do you maintain enough emotional / social competence to care about your fellow human being (neighbor, family, friends) without falling into a pit of despair about the rest of the world? (the homeless, the orphaned, etc). Even if somehow I make it, other trans people are not in a great spot. Even if other trans people make it, homeless people still exist. Even if we eradicate homelessness, everyone will die eventually. Even if we live forever, people will still have to endure heartbreak. Even if there is never any heartbreak, we'd still be envious of differences. If there was no suffering - what would put a stop to the greed? How is contentment born when you're operating on a limbic system is designed to want more, more, more, more.

I know people in my life who have a higher salary / are more attractive than me / are cis / have a significant other they are happy with (or worse - all of the above). How do I cope with that? Why should I have to put in all this effort to have a normal life when other people just get to roll out of bed and have it given to them? And worse, I have to interact with those people. Those lucky bastards.

I keep binge eating to feel better. And then I gain weight and hate that I binge ate.

I have to deal?? With other people???? For the rest of my life????? Horrifying.