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#i have a fever and ive lost it a little and i hit my head pretty hard last night
writing-whump · 29 days
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The Breaking Point
Seline and Isaiah have a TALK. Some pain and breathing problems after heart surgery mentioned.
"Are you feeling nauseous?" Seline asked as she adjusted the pillow behind Isaiah's back on the couch.
"Uhm," was the elaborative answer. She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes.
She fought tooth and nail for Isaiah's release from the hospital once she was sure she understood everything the recovery phase would entail. Arguing with the doctors, telling the nurses that the hospital was too much of an incubator of germs in Isaiah's condition and that as a wolf, he would feel more comfortable with his pack and territory at home.
What she didn't expect was Isaiah shutting down. Wasn't it supposed to get easier instead of harder?
Isaiah's lips were pressed in a tight line and he was had that sickly paleness about him that made it hard to gauge his state. His cheeks were gaunt, he lost weight in that one week at the hospital, only on IVs.
Although he could handle food now, the long list of medications he was adjusting to - from beta-blockers to blood-thinners like warfarin to aspirin to help with blood clots - had the unnerving side-effect of causing nausea.
He could get nausous from not eating and from eating and not eating the right stuff. Honestly, she didn't know what issue to adress first.
But Isaiah just watched her sullenly, set on not revealing a single helpful detail. Jesus Christ. It was like a time loop, like they were not getting anywhere, not learning anything.
Matthew was still crouched down, unlacing Isaiah's shoes. Bending down was not recommended after the surgery. As was no heavy lifting. Or strenuous exercise.
The more she kept mentioning it, the more sullen and unreadable his expression became.
Seriously. How was she supposed to handle it, if he didn't voice his pain? What issues to talk over?
"You don't have to stay, you know?" He said suddenly, leaning his head back on the couch.
"Excuse me?" Seline stumbled down to the couch, not sure she heard right.
Isaiah's lips twisted, but he still glared up at the ceiling. "What, you think I wouldn't notice? You keep listing the medications and all my limits and things that make me fragile and sick or whatever, but you are so disgusted you can't even look at me."
Seline felt her mouth fall open in a little o. She threw a helpless look at Matt, but he just shrugged. Looking all the way like he just wanted to hide under the bed and wait for the storm to pass.
Her hands closed in the firsts on the armrests. "So that's what you think? That I'm disgusted with you?"
"Yeah. And I'm sorry for getting sick, I truly am," Isaiah said, nonchalantly daggering her heart, "I tried my best. I tried to get better, to be happy to compensate for the stress from the previous years. I thought it would go away on its own. I'm sorry I disappointed you-"
"No."
"No? Am I wrong?" Isaiah said in challange, finally lifting his head. His vibrant green eyes were shining feverishly. At the back of her mind it hit her with concern, since the doctors said he might sport a low-grade fever for an entire month after the surgery.
"I'm not disgusted with you," Seline said slowly, still stunned. "I'm angry with you, you moron!" She jumped to her feet, pacing around the room. From the corner of the eye she could see Matthew taking the pharmacy bag and slithering away to the kitchen with a flinch.
"I can't believe it! You don't even know what you have done!"
Isaiah frowned, a hand subconsciously curling around his chest like it hurt to breathe. "What I have done...?"
"You kept it a secret! You were in pain for months, dizzy, nausous, everything and you. Didn't. Tell. Me." Her voice jumped up an octave and she had to swallow down against the emotion tightening her throat. "You have any idea how that felt, standing in front of that doctor asking me how long your problems been going on and not being able to answer? I felt like an outsider in my own relationship!"
Isaiah looked dumbfounded, like that had never crossed his mind at all.
She whirled around, eyes wide, cheeks flushed. "And the worst part is, that I didn't notice myself. It was partly my fault, maybe even half of the whole thing. More than Matthew's even, because at least he noticed."
"That was an accident, I didn't want him to know either-"
"Did you choose me because of that? Because you knew I would be ignorant, that I live in my own world, in my books and studies and writing and wouldn't push you to handle the hard parts?" She ignored how her eyes burned, practically screaming now.
"What? No!" Isaiah struggled to sit up straight, even paler than before, almost like a wax figurine. He took a long, laborious breath, wincing as he exhaled.
Regret and guilt shot through her like an arrow. "Isaiah, let's- let's stop this. I'm sorry, we shouldn't have started this when you're still-"
"I- I was trying to spare you," he wheezed. "You think this is easy for me? That I wanted to be this pathetic, weak and pained in front of you?!"
Seline stopped in her tracks, amazed and reluctant all at once. That was the first time he had ever raised his voice at her. More like croaked, but it was there.
"I wanted to deal with this myself. It was my family, my past, my dad who messed me up like this-" he coughed, hand now pressed against the incision side of his chest. "You think I wanted this for you? A partner in life with thousand of issues? Who is a burden to you?"
Seline sat down on the sofa next to him, reaching out her hand towards his, but he shook her off.
"Don't you dare suggest it was your fault," his voice was a whisper, but cutting like a knife. "That it had anything to do with you. You did everything right. You are perfect, understanding, confident, brilliant, with a loving family and artistic passions and-" he coughed again, chest rattling painfully as he struggled in to get enough air.
"Okay, lean back, Isaiah, lean back a bit." She out another pillow behind his back to prop him up. "Deep breaths, you are alright."
Isaiah obeyed, closing his eyes. His breathing was still so chocked up.
"If it hurts, I can give you the nitroglycerin tablet. It melts under the tongue and should have an immediate effect." Seline’s hands trembled slightly as she rubbed Isaiah’s arm. "You can't stress yourself out like this."
"Just—just give me a minute," Isaiah said. He didn't turn her hand away this time, so she sat there unmoving, trying to gauge her intervention from the changing colours on his face.
When he breathed in with relief, though shoulders still tense, she let out a breath too. "Want some water? Painkillers?"
Isaiah gave a tiny shake of his head, a no. "I need you...to understand..."
"We are not talking about this right now," she said sternly.
"No...we..." He took her hand in hers then, entwining their fingers. "I was in...denial. I wanted it...to go away...if I was happy...shouldn't it? I thought it would get...better and you wouldn't have to..."
"Isaiah," she said in a small voice, brushing the black bangs out of his eyes. He got all sweaty in those last five minutes. "You are such a fool. You know how many points you have over me?"
Isaiah squinted his eyes open, rolling towards her tiredly. "Points...?"
Seline nodded. "I keep a score. All the things you do for me versus those that I can do for you. I started counting so it wouldn't be too uneven in your favour." She pushed a blond curl behind her ear self-consciously. "But it still is. You do so much for me, for Matt, for the packs, for anyone who asks for your help. I can never get anywhere close. 100 points is quite the headstart, isn't it?"
Isaiah frowned deeply, breathing shakily.
"So you don't have to worry about being a burden or that we are taking care of you. You have done so much for us, this is the least to repay you."
"That's not-"
"It's not the main reason," she leaned her forehead against his shoulder. Just a gentle touch, no real weight behind it. "I want to do this for you. I want to be there for you. To be able to." She looked down at their hands holding each other. "Why won't you let me in?" she whispered. "What am I doing wrong that you keep pushing me away?"
Isaiah tugged his hand out of her grasp, and her heart sank. For a moment, he just looked at her, his expression caught between pain and something else—fear, maybe. Then, before she could fully process the look in his eyes, he put both his arms around her, squeezing her against his chest so tightly it hurt. His feverishly warm lips brushed against her temple.
"I love you," he whispered.
Seline let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, her arms wrapping around him in return. Something inside her heart clicked back into place. Warmth flooded her from her toes to the top of her head, mixing with the hurt, the tension, the love.
She sniffled and he winced, gently pushing her away just enough to see her face. The tears spilled over both her eyes at once, but she smiled at him. "So? How are you feeling?"
"Better than yesterday, worse than tomorrow," he said, bumping their noses together. "My chest hurts. And it's...hard to breathe still. Shooting up and over...to my arms, you know?"
She sighed in relief at the admission, her wet cheek pressed against his. "I got something for that."
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wakandamama · 2 years
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Stealing this off ShawnCee off YT but list the Top 10 Albums your thankful for with your top song off of it. Imma start 😌(this no real order tho)
1. As I am - Alicia Keys. This was the first CD I stole from my mama because I would play it over and over on my little stereo. 7 to 10 year old me had a 2 planned out music video and choreography routines for each song on this bitch 😂
2. Ego Death - The Internet. This album released at the critical time of me exploring my sexuality and learning attraction. Single handedly crafted my bisexuality.
3. The Divine Feminine - Mac Miller.
I've always loved Mac before this, but this was the first time I'd heard him so mature. The first Album to every single song on it mame me feel like I was floating on the high of music. Made me aware that I had pussy tbh. Would get the album covered tatted.
4. Tha Carter IV - Lil Wayne. As a Black Girl born in 2000 with grown big brother. This album is actual just a core memory in my brain lol. My big brother gave me this album, it was his fav to toss on in his car and I vividly remember being 11 and screaming the top song with my cousins like we lost out minds
5. Vince Staples - Vince Staples. This mf just hit. I grew up in a weird way that was half sheltered/silent observer to the real life hoodshit my family and environment was. While I was never an active member like the rest of siblings and cousins I've spend all my life a passanger observing, understanding, and respecting it.
6. Sail Out - Jhene Akio. Gonna be honest I was just 13 when I heard this album for the first time ever and it hit every preteen motion I was going through.
7. Fever - Megan Thee Stallion. I was 19 and this album gave me permission to shake my ass and be horny otm lol. That's all I needed frfr.
8. Oxymoron - Schoolboy Q. Another connection to my big brother and nephews. I dont think he will ever realize how much he was my role model and I also know he'd never want to be that because of the things hes had to do in his life. But if there is one thing we are always common ground on is Schoolboy Q.
9. DOGBOY - ZillaKami. My mental health was/is TEETERING on the edge and this album makes me rock on that bitch.
10. Coming Home - Leon Bridges
I grew up with old head parents in the semi rural midwest and this album makes me feel like I could have a the cute country we meet at a juke joint dinner love story I've seen the white girls have but wit soul in it.
ANYONE CAN HOP ON THIS, I WANNA SEE YALL LISTS CUZ I LOVE YALL🗣🗣🗣🗣
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isamajor · 1 year
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Whump drabbles : Kaidan
I – Bedridden
Kaidan groaned as he struggled miserably to prop himself up on one elbow before sinking back onto the pillow. Lucien reprimanded him, telling him to calm down because he was burning with fever. He made it clear to the colossus that he would not leave this bed as long as he was not recovered.
"I'll bet 100 septims it's from an infected wound."
Kaidan looked away in response, muttering that it was going to cost a fortune to keep him in an inn bed all this time.
"Then it's fortunate my wealth is useful. But please, don't be stupid, you need to take care of yourself."
II – Stifled Scream
The Thalmor wizard wanted to break him. He used a whip, he used destruction magic, he tortured him until the skin of his back was tearing and bleeding. Until his legs collapsed under him, letting him suspended by his wrists. By the Nine, it hurted ! Kaidan clenched his teeth to stifle his screams. He wouldn't let Cyrelian have this victory. Even if his teeth shatter, he wouldn't let out a cry, a plea or a pain scream. Kaidan would rather die a curse on his lips than allow the Thalmor get the pleasure of his screams. (98)
III - « I said I'm fine »
« Steady on there, Kaidan. You’ve lost a bit of blood. »
Kaidan sighed, a little annoyed, replying to Lucien he was fine. The cut wasn’t that deep, even if the blood smeared on his whole leg. He knew Lucien was just worried about him. He always was. About everyone. As if the team wasn’t worried for this milkdrinker, so fragile and clumsy. The Imperial brandished a health potion in front of his face.
« I said I ’m fine. »
Kaidan’s voice was a bit harsher this time. It wasn’t the first his first wound. He would get through it. (102)
IV – Escape Attempt
His breathing was rough in his chest, he had to be quick despite his wounds. But Kaidan was out of the Thalmor’s hands for now. He’s got more or less the layout of the abandoned prison memorized. He knew the exit would be a few more meters after this corner. And there they were. Kaidan tried to ram the elves out of his way but he was too weak. He staggered back, gasping and looking with horror as his jailers were ready to shock him with their magic.
« Well, well, looks like our rat got out of its cage. », Cyrelian said with a smile. (105)
V – Explosion
They hadn't seen the rune on the ground. Kaidan advanced at the head of the group at a good pace in these ruins until the explosion was triggered. One step inside the magical circle was enough, and everyone was brutally blinded by the explosion and thrown against the walls of the crypt. Kaidan felt his lungs suddenly emptied before he felt the painful bite of the stone against his back. The flames had briefly licked his face, leaving an abominable burning smell in their wake. His ears were ringing painfully. Everything around him was dusty and blurry. (98)
VI - « It's not as bad as it looks »
He’d gotten a nice gash on his forehead, from the sharp claws of a sabre cat. Blood had streaked down Kaidan’s face, adorning it with a sticky crimson mask, drowning out his tattoo and blending with the color of his eyes. When Lucien saw him like this, he squealed in horror, both at his friend’s bloody appearance and at the presumption of the seriousness of his wound.
“Don’t worry. It’s not as bad as it looks. The wound isn’t deep, the forehead is just a place where the bleeding is profuse.”, he explained to the Imperial. (102)
VII – Fall
The icy path in the Velothi Mountains stretched before them, treacherous and slippery. Each step could lead to a fall and the group was carefully walking in silence, their breath forming a mist in the frigid air. Kaidan stepped on a frozen rock, and the misstep happened. Losing his balance from the top of his imposing build, he fell below, his body hit by the fir trees that adorned the hillside. His schout echoed in the mountain and to this cry answered the cries of all his friends, horrified at his fall. They could see him lying below, a dark figure in the pristine snow. (105)
VIII – Drowning
The current raged around him, a relentless force that threatened to drag him under. The river was an opponent he was not equipped to defeat. Kaidan fought against the torrent, muscles straining with every stroke. But his strength ended up dwindling and abandoning him, the water closing in on him, his lungs desperately searching for air without being able to find it. His world faded to black. His limp body, unconscious and tossed about by the waves, found refuge on a solitary rock rising from the turbulent river, where he was spotted by his friends, who hoped it was not already too late. (103)
IX - Gag
When he regained consciousness, a tight cloth gag was across his mouth, the knot of it pressing hard on the back of his neck. The fabric tasted dirty of dust and blood. Kaidan didn't know where the Thalmor had taken him while he was unconscious. All his protests and insults were reduced to muffled grunts. His bonds were as tight as his gag and without success, he couldn't free himself. Gritting his teeth on the fabric, he swore to himself to make them pay, all of them. Let him break free from his bonds, and he would kill them all. (102)
X – Held
The Dragonborn's world shifted as tentacles snatched them into Hermaeus Mora's realm, Apocrypha. Panic gripped Kaidan's heart as he lunged to catch them, but Xelzaz firmly held him back by an arm and Lucien gripped his wrist.
"You can't go there, it's too dangerous. They has to confront Miraak alone. Apocrypha is treacherous, Hermaeus Mora wouldn't allow another player in their game.", Lucien explained, his grip tight.
The Black Book consumed the Dragonborn, and, firmly held by his traveling companions, Kaidan stared with a heavy heart as the book closed itself and fell to the ground. (102)
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faaun · 3 years
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#personal#i have a fever and ive lost it a little and i hit my head pretty hard last night#they carried me in a trolley 15 minutes to home and watched me sleep for 20 minutes to make sure i didnt die#here comes black bear now crashing through the brush unphased by the thorns and branches that would hurt me to the touch#a flatmate checked on me every 10 minutes at 10 AM#we walked through the snow together today and she asked me if shes mean to me and i wanted to tell her you are but you are often more hurt#in your own anger . the mathematican did logarithmic equations last night . he laid next to me on the floor and told me not to be sad#i have a video of holding him and burying my head in his neck i remember needing him not to fall but we made each other worse and today#we all played a card game with so much calculation and speed and wit and i realised again the cleverness of everyone but mostly we were#terrified of her . she said i will be cold and turned into a machine . isnt andy short for android ? she looked at him and said yes#when he runs he runs the fastest he turns the earth right on its axis . we walked through the snow and took polaroids and they hit each#other with snowballs . i asked my boy with the long hair if i could hit him too . he said you dont have to ask so i did and all i could#think of was being blindfolded last night and feeling his hair and then his jaw . i remember saying hello and hugging him .#(i could recognise you in a millisecond this was no challenge at all) (so i took another shot anyway)#im sorry for crying for everyones death you must understand that politicians want us dead and i miss people who would have been alive had#not returned to the political minefield . im sorry for screaming communist theory inbetween tears . thanks for stroking my hair and saying#you know . thank you for not saying itll be okay#and when he stared across the river into my eyes it made me shiver and i knew that it was lovely to have a black bear thinking of me#i washed my hair and it turned pink . i am no longer a demon . i can rest for a while . im resting for a while . ill feel okay for a while.#ill go to viewings for houses and walk you home and ask if you need hot chocolate tonight and i said were sharing a cloud because its#snowing where she is too . she said look into the sky my eye - line will reflect yours . she has a sword at the back of her leg. her lips#are soft in the night . возможно она захочет поцеловаться до конца песни#turned the cards stared into your eyes stared at your hands stared at the spot where we both burnt our palms . i was winning until you#killed me in the last round and i thanked you for being a wonderful opponent . music saves you every time you fall . i knocked my head and#i cried about everything that made me heavy and now im okay . now im okay . now im okay#two kicked the tree and the snow came falling again . the one inside the future climbed it to shake the branches . i can remember him#smiling against my lips . i never want to feel it again and i smile back each time i think of it . a love so deep and platonic . i love you#i can read birdsong maps now . im covered in pink velvet . right abducens nuclei arent working right . i feed myself you feed the poor .#keep all the weakers bury the brave ! if i fall will you hold me ? you the psychologist with the blue photo and nuclear vision -#i think of you often . ill be okay . well be okay
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iibonniee · 2 years
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requesting a mx reaction to their s/o being pregnant (planned) bc ive seen them having major baby fever lately 👀 esp kiki with kylo
A/N: Please this is so adorable! I lost it when I saw Hyungwon and Kihyun post about. I refuse to believe they won't be amazing dads when the time comes. I hope you enjoy!
Monsta X Reacting to Their S/O being Pregnant (Requested)
Warnings: Mentions of death (A Disney movie was talked about), but other than that essentially none
Word Count: 1.5k
Masterlist
Shownu:
“What are you eating?” 
Hyunwoo’s smooth voice startled Y/N as she whipped her head towards the pantry door. Hyunwoo’s smile was bright as he held his head tilted in question. He watched as her eyes flicked back and forth between him and the hidden plate that was covered by her body. 
“Food?” 
Her voice was weak with confidence and her smile was uncertain. Still, Hyunwoo’s smile never faltered as he moved deeper into the small panty. His height was his advantage as he peeked over her shoulder to survey her plate. 
Five little sandwiches were made consisting of two chips as the bread and a fluffy white marshmallow smashed between the two as the middle. 
“Can I try one?”
His question had her baffled for a moment. As her brain tried to determine if he was indeed being serious, his eyes held the answer: he was. 
“Alright?” Her voice was hesitant as she offered him one. 
Y/N’s eyes watched for his reaction carefully as he chewed. A smile slowly spread across his face as he gave a nod of approval. 
“Let’s make more.”
Minhyuk:
“We’ve officially hit 23 weeks!”
Minhyuk’s excitement bounded off each wall and into her ears. She watched as he faced the calendar that hung, then back to her, his smile as bright as the sun. “I need the book!”
Y/N’s laughter followed him down the hall and into the baby’s room as he grabbed his little book. Seconds later, he was sat on the couch just beside her. 
“Our little baby is the size of a grapefruit! Can you believe it?!”
Minhyuk’s excitement was infectious. She found herself smiling just as bright as he was as his hand found the round bump.
This was Minhyuk’s tradition. Each week he’d check the little calendar he bought to make sure he was up to date with his daughter.
“Did you finish the mural yet, baby?” Y/N asked between Minhyuk’s soft words towards the baby. Since he started his painting, he had completely banned her from entering the nursery, lock and key involved. 
His eyes flicked up, his head shaking in excitement. 
“Soon, my beautiful wife. Soon. It’ll be completed before the little one is born. Oh! I wonder what the baby is going to look like when we hit 24 weeks!”
Kihyun:
“Kihyun,” Y/N called out, pausing to survey the cabinet with a raised brow. “Where’s my junk food?”
Her question was met with an overwhelming amount of silence. She cleared her throat, her emotions soaring. 
“Kihyun-!” The second she turned around, she was met with a scolding look. “Gah! Kihyun, what the fuck?”
“Watch your mouth.” He warned, moving towards her and covering her stomach as if it had ears. “The baby is going to hear you and get your foul language.”
“No, the baby is going to be very angry at his daddy for throwing away his food. It makes him very happy.”
“I thought my singing did?” Y/N merely laughed at how fast his face shifted. 
“It does, but you know how he is. He’s going to be just as cranky as his dad, I can feel it. So, Kihyun, where is my food?”
Once again the silence fell across the room. This time Kihyun’s face held the look of guilt. She knew what he had done, but her pride wanted him to admit such a sin out loud. 
“I threw them out.” He paused, trying to gain his footing. “I think it’s best to eat healthy. I can cook food for you. I’ll cook the weird food you crave, too.”
“How about I do that when the baby is born? For now, I’ll eat and cater to my craving that includes junk food. Since some rat threw out my food, I need to go to the store and get more.”
“I’m a hamster!” 
Hyungwon:
“I can’t believe we hit the halfway point, baby bean.” Hyungwon whispered to the belly. In response, he felt a light kick, causing him to chuckle. “You have to relax or you’ll wake your mom up. I hear you’ve been giving her some issues. I know I’m not home all that much, but you can’t do that.”
Even though his little girl wasn’t born just yet, he already felt awful about scolding her. Hyungwon couldn’t feasibly think of a time where he’d ever scold her. He shook his head, avoiding such possible thoughts. 
“I can’t believe you’re almost here. There’s so much I want to do with you and your mom. I can see the three of us all cuddled together falling asleep on the couch. Or the three of us on little dates. You know, you’re going to be so spoiled. Spoiled to the point your mom is going to get so mad at me and your uncles. 
Speaking of them, they all adore you already. I mean, they loved you when we told them about you. Uncle Jooheon and Uncle Minhyuk were talking about baby withdrawals when we head out for tour, but I don’t think they quite know what I’m going through, thinking about being so far away. I barely survived before, now It’ll be painful.
I don’t want to make you sad, though. I want to make a promise to both of you. I never told your mom, but I plan on marrying her after you're born. I want you to be there, enjoying that experience with us. As a family. I’m blabbering.”
Hyungwon laughed softly as he lightly traced over her stomach. He was already planning out each little detail for the next few years. He wanted to be happy. 
“I’m going to bed, baby bean. I love you.”
Jooheon:
“Joo, baby, are you crying too?” A pained laugh came from Y/N as she watched her boyfriend cover his face. Despite doing so, the obvious sniffles snitched on him.
“N-No.” His wavering voice only added to the list of harmless lies. “Maybe.”
His sudden confession caused her to laugh, the once-sad tears streaming down her face as she tried reaching out for her lover. 
“How am I supposed to not cry when you’re crying over Bambi’s mothers death?! You watched this movie over a dozen times and we both cry!” 
Jooheon was now fully facing her, face red from the tears as his own, too, kept streaming down. To an outsider, one would think Jooheon’s heart was broken and torn apart from someone breaking up with him. The truth was the movie. 
“It’s worse because she told Bambi not to look behind and keep running! T-That’s not fair! I’m going to start a petition to stop this—!”
“Baby, relax.” Y/N laughed grabbing his face. Her thumbs caught the stray tears as they fell. “We do this every time you want to watch the movie with me. At this rate, people are going to think you’re the one that’s pregnant.”
“But Y/N—“
“No “buts” baby. How about we get something to eat then pick something else to watch?”
“Another Disney movie?” 
“Another Disney movie.”
Changkyun:
“Is it any better than the last time?”
The nervousness in Changkyun’s voice was obvious. If it wasn’t his voice, it was the nervousness that laced his brown eyes. 
“You’re getting better.”
Though Y/N’s answer was earnest, it still didn’t sit right with Changkyun. He puffed his cheeks in frustration, a nod following suit as he tried everything in his power to figure out what he did wrong.
“I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.” His voice sounded thick, his emotions coming out at once. 
“Changkyun, it’s ok. You’re slowly coming to terms with this. It’s new. It’s ok! I said you were getting better and I mean it. I don’t expect you to become Gordon Ramsay overnight.”
“It’s been three months though, Y/N.”
Her smile was soft and comforting. Something that had his shoulders fall and his upset scowl turn to a soft smile of his own. 
“Come here.” She begged, arms open, wanting a hug. His response was immediate. “You’ll get there Changkyun, I promise.”
Wonho:
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Hoseok’s voice sounded like he was scolding a child that got caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing. Instead of a child, it was his wife, who was indeed doing something he strictly said not to do. 
He watched closely as she jumped, head snapping towards the bedroom door with her eyes wide. Both of their emotions were different. Hoseok’s holding one that wasn’t amused while Y/N’s showed her worry. 
“I’m painting.” She softly admitted, a smile replacing her temporary frown. “It was bothering me that this was unfinished and you weren’t home-“
“You could’ve fallen!” Hoseok quickly interjected. He would’ve gotten to finishing the nursery. He told her that. “In fact, you almost did.”
“I didn’t!” It was her turn to interject. Climbing down off the ladder, she turned to him, smile wider as she showed him her body. “I’m fine.”
Hoseok thought for a moment, his frown deepening. 
“You know I just want you to be safe. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you while I was gone.” He mumbled, moving closer to wrap his arms around her body. 
“Thank God my knight in shining armor is so buff that I couldn’t possibly hurt myself.”
This caused him to laugh. 
“Not funny.”
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Grunge-Metal Geralt
Hi, im fucking trash for the idea of Geralt being the front man for a Five Finger Death Punch type band and my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. This music genre is my bread and butter and I think Geralt’s repressed but highly emotional ass would fit right in. Yes im using another Hozier song, no i dont wanna hear anything about it. I’m a basic bitch and ive made my peace with it
Warnings: i honestly have no idea, its a little horny, little emotional, but theres no actual character interaction?, its at a concert venue? idk yall.
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Jaskier was… out of his comfort zone.
It’s not that he didn’t like the grunge-metal music, he just hadn’t listened to much and he was not used to the energy. People were yelling and screaming and the opener hadn’t even come on yet. He didn’t feel unsafe, far from it. Several people had checked to see if he was okay, seeing as he was the only person in the entire arena wearing a sweater that wasn't ripped or faded to hell. It was just a far cry from the shows he was used to. 
He played folky-blues. This was nothing like his shows. 
When the lights went down the crowd was deafening, all moving as one to rush the front of the floor, not giving a single fuck about tickets. 
The openers were exciting, and Jaskier was surprised by some of the concepts and messages behind the music. It wasn’t what he’d expected at all and he found himself searching them up on Spotify to listen later. 
Then came The Witchers. 
Eskel and Lambert made their energetic entrance, followed by Aiden calmly walking to his drums and sitting as if he were walking into a college class. But Geralt was nowhere in sight. The one person Jaskier had actually come to see. 
He’d seen a video clip from a previous concert where they covered one of his songs, and he was praying they’d do it again. It was lovely in a haunting-almost-threatening way, and the expression in Geralt’s posture alone was enthralling. He had to see it live. 
But Geralt was still absent as the band started to build a song. First Aiden with the beat, then Eskel’s bass, then Lambert with a melody on his electric guitar. It built and built and built to a fever pitch, taking the crowd with it. People were already jumping and screeching. Jaskier had to stand on his seat to see the stage clearly. 
Geralt’s voice echoed through the venue, low and closer to a growl than singing, but he was still nowhere to be seen.
Jaskier thought he’d been prepared, but his whole body was covered in goosebumps. He briefly wondered if this was what his friends were feeling when they listened to ASMR.
Geralt remained hidden for the whole first verse, getting the crowd even more excited than Jaskier thought possible, only for the band to go completely silent for a whole measure. When the crowd's screams reached their absolute loudest, Geralt dropped from on top of one of the jumbotrons, landing on one of the horse-sized speakers before launching into the chorus. 
Oh fuck, he was even more beautiful in person. 
He was… well he was a beast of a man. Jaskier really didn’t have another word for the way his muscles bulged and how lithe and powerful he looked springing from the speaker to join his bandmates on the main stage. His thighs filled out his black, tattered jeans and there were clear faded spots where his muscles strained the fabric too often. The thin black tank he wore did nothing but pretend the man was semi-modest. It was so tight, the only thing left up to the imagination was tan lines and the color of his nipple piercings. 
Jaskier was most entranced by his long, white, wavy hair falling past his shoulders. As the show continued and he started to sweat, a lot, it got curlier and curlier at the root. Jaskier wanted to give him a mask and some curl cream, but only after a, uhm, rough night of getting to know each other. He’d heard rumors about Geralt from hitting arenas not long after they’d left. He was quite sure they’d have a great time.
As he focused on the lyrics more and more, he was more inclined to want to wrap Geralt up in a hug and worship every part of him until he felt whole again. 
Either he’d been shown the shitty side of the genre, or The Witchers were exceptions to the rule of content. Jaskier was almost moved to tears a few different times.
Finally, about an hour into Jaskier mindlessly feasting his eyes on the front man, Geralt leapt onto another speaker and sat down, breathing hard and grinning from ear to ear. 
“You still with us?”
The unholy screech from the crowd left no doubt they were just as excited, if not more so, than when they’d arrived. 
“Good! Good..” he trailed off, chuckling as he lowered the mic to take a breath, “We’re gonna slow it down for a minute,” he leaned forward and held the mic away as Eskel shouted something up at him to which he laughed and flipped him off. 
“As I was saying, we’re gonna yearn for a minute or two and do a cover. Song by Jaskier called ‘Talk’.”
The crowd lost their shit again, various pride flags popping up throughout the stands. 
Geralt chuckled and raised his combat boot, showing off the bi flag colored treads, earning another round of screams. If this is what the grunge-metal scene was like, Jaskier had been missing out his entire life. Sure his fans were sweet and supportive and loving when he’d come out. But this was electric and feral and completely addictive.
Lambert struck the opening chord to Jaskier’s song and the crowd settled to a gentle hum, setting the tone immediately, as if they all knew exactly what was coming. 
Geralt closed his eyes as he tapped his thigh with one finger, keeping time before his rumbling baritone hit Jaskier like a freight train. 
“I’d be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found…”
Jaskier could have collapsed right there. He knew he was staring like a lovesick idiot, but hell, everyone around him was too. When the chorus hit and Eskel came in with a heavy bass line he nearly fell off his chair. Geralt’s intensity raised with the addition of the backup but he didn’t move. He stayed seated, swaying slightly, with his eyes closed as he crooned out the words Jaskier had sobbed as he wrote, broken hearted and miserable. 
It was surreal. 
Sure he’d seen other covers. Sure they’d been lovely. But he wanted to listen to this and only this as he fell asleep for the rest of his life. He’d never play it again if he could only hear it one more time. 
After the last verse Lambert launched into a guitar solo while Geralt jumped off the speaker and meandered to the center of the stage to slot his mic back in it’s stand. He gripped it like a lifeline when Lambert held one last note for as long as his instrument would allow and only started singing the last chorus when it was almost silent. 
“I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do
So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you
I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we could do
So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you”
His expression looked hopeless and utterly desperate as he crooned out the last two lines. He let his hair fall to cover his face and Jaskier could just barely hear his panting breath over the sound system as the crowd exploded. Geralt tipped his head back and took two deep breaths before straightening up and getting on with the show but Jaskier was stuck. 
He was vaguely aware of someone taking a picture of him, but he really couldn’t care less. The fact that Geralt moved right on to a song called ‘Burn Motherfucker Burn’ didn’t matter either. 
Jaskier jumped down from his arena seat, whipping out his phone and sending the band a tweet, because apparently that’s what musicians did now?
“Record it. Please. It’s either that or sing me to sleep every night. You choose.”
He stayed for the rest of the show and walked to his car in a haze. Before he backed out of his spot he checked his phone like always and his heart nearly stopped at the two top notifications. 
One public reply: “Both? -G”
And one direct message: “If you’re still here and want to grab a drink, I’m just backstage.” 
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let-me-luve-you · 4 years
Text
Cancer Battle
Tom Holland x Sister (with the whole Holland clan)
Summary: The reader is diagnosed with cancer, but decides to keep it from her brothers. 
Warnings: angst, cancer treatment, cancer diagnosis, brothers being rude, somewhat of a fluff ending
A/N: I did research on this. I hope I did the correct research. So I apologize if I’m wrong.
MASTERLIST
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This has been the toughest two months of your life. Right when you were due to go over to America with your brothers to visit Tom, you noticed swelling in your neck. So did your mum. She set you up a doctors appointment, and two days later, you found out you had Hodgkin Lymphoma.
After talking with your doctor, you found you were in the early stages. It was still treatable and your chances of beating the cancer were very high. That helped you relax a little, but you were still in shock at hearing the words, “you have cancer.”
You wanted to start treatment right away so you told your brothers to go without you. They weren’t happy with you since you wouldn’t give them the real reason as to why you were staying behind. Every Wednesday morning for the next month, you would go with your mum or dad to the doctors office to do your antibody therapy treatment. You really didn’t want to do chemo or radiation unless it got worse, so you decided this was the next best option.
After four weeks of treatment, all of your brothers came home. Tom was disappointed you didn’t come see him, but he knew you probably had a good reason. He decided to come over to your parents house to hangout with you today. Except today wasn’t a good day. You were sick due to the side effects of the treatment. To those who didn’t know about your treatment, they would just think you had the flu. So when you walked back into your room from the bathroom, you groaned when you saw Tom sitting on the end of your bed.
“Good to see you too, Y/N.” Tom said with an eye roll.
“Hi Tom. Sorry. You might want to leave, I’m sick.” You said trying to keep your distance but you were wanting to lie down so bad.
“Mum told me. Can I get you anything?” He asked sweetly.
“I’m okay for now. Dad went to the store this morning.” You replied and motioned with your finger for him to move. He understood and moved toward your door as you went to lie down. You sighed, content when your body hit the mattress.
“I’m going to go downstairs. Text me if you need anything.” You smiled at him. “Get better soon.”
The next few days, you started feeling better. This is how it was every week. Stuck in bed on Thursday and Friday. Moving around more on Saturday and fully back to your normal self on Sunday. Then you would repeat the process again.
This Wednesday though, you weren’t feeling good. It felt like you couldn’t catch your breath. You had a fever and you could tell you had lost at least twenty pounds since your diagnosis. You got up earlier than normal to talk to your mum. When you walked into the living room, you found all four brothers.
“Hey Y/N. You okay?” Sam asked.
Ignoring his question, you looked around the room. “Where’s mum and dad?”
“Dad has a meeting at ten and mum ran to the store really quick. Said she would be back soon.” Paddy said not looking up from his phone. You nodded and turned to go back to your room to lay down until you had to go to your appointment.
“It’s a good thing you're up though. I have a press tour coming up and we are going to Bali. The three of them are going and I wanted to see if you wanted to come. You didn’t get to go last time so I thought you would enjoy it.” Tom said.
“I would but uh..” You looked around trying to think of an excuse as to why you can’t go. “I’m still getting over this sickness. Wouldn’t be good for me to go.”
“Well good thing it isn’t until next month then.” Harry said with a laugh before he turned serious. “Why are you always bailing on us? You missed the last Bali trip. You skipped last minute to go to America. Now you’re trying to get out of going to Bali again. What’s up with that?”
“I just have a lot going on. It’s not that I don’t want to, I just can’t.” You said.
“Harry has a point though Y/N. It’s like you don’t like us or something. You never go out with us when we are in town either and you won’t let us post photos of you.” Paddy said.
You stood shocked. You didn’t know how to respond, but it didn’t matter since it didn’t seem that your brothers were done.
“Can you tell us if we did something to you so we can fix it?” Tom said trying to be the nice brother like always.
“Come on mate. We didn’t do anything and she knows it. She just hates us.” Harry said with a snarl.
“Must be embarrassed by us. I don’t know why. People love us.” Paddy said. Sam agreed with Paddy and Harry. Tom just didn’t know what to do so he just stayed quiet. He wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, but he did feel rejected by you lately.
“I love you guys and I would never be embarrassed of you. I just have a lot going on.” You said. You were getting worked up and it was making it harder to breathe. You turned and started to leave the room. “Tell mum to come to my room when she gets home.” You started to walk up the stairs and ignored the hateful comments your brothers were whispering about you.
An hour later. Your mum came into the room and saw you laying there asleep. She went to push your hair out of your face and felt how hot you were. She immediately started to panic and tried to wake you up. Thankfully you opened your eyes halfway and saw your mum.
“Mum, somethings not right. I don’t feel good.” You whispered.
“Get up honey. We are going to the doctor.” Nikki said in a rush. She went to help you stand when you fell on the ground. Nikki was worried because you couldn’t hold yourself up. “DOM!” She yelled. “DOM HURRY UP! COME HERE!”
Tom thought he heard his mum call for him and he heard the worry in her voice so he sprinted to where he heard her trying to talk to Y/N. He was shocked when he saw you on the floor.
“Tom I need your help. We have to get her to the hospital now. Help me get her to the car.” Nikki said. Tom stayed staring at your almost lifeless body “TOM!” Nikki snapped to get his attention. Tom immediately went into protective brother mode and ran to you and easily picked you up bridal style and carried you down to Nikki’s car. He laid you in the backseat and then he joined you by putting your head into his lap. Nikki ran to the driver's seat and rushed to the hospital.
“Mum, what’s wrong with her?” He asked.
“I’m not sure.” Nikki answered honestly. If it hadn't been for the swollen glands, Nikki would have thought you were healthy as a horse. Now with the treatments, it always pained her to see her only daughter struggling with the illness. Once they got to the emergency room, Nikki started telling the ER doctor everything. Tom paled when he heard the word cancer. He looked up at his mum to see if what she said was true. When the doctors took you in the back to run test, Nikki finally turned to her oldest and saw him shaking.
“Cancer?” He whispered. If Nikki hadn’t been standing so close, she wouldn’t have heard him. She gently wrapped an arm around Tom and guided him to sit in a chair. Tom stayed latched to his mum as he cried for his little sister. “Wha- how- when? When did she find out?” Tom asked many minutes later once he stopped crying.
“Before the America trip.” Nikki said. “She’s been doing treatments once a week since. The treatments make her sick. That’s why you found her like she was last Thursday.”
“I had no idea.” Tom said more to himself. “That’s why she didn’t want to go to Bali.”
“Yeah. She wants to stay home until the cancer’s gone. She has a high survival rate, Tom. She didn’t want any of you to worry. That’s why she didn’t tell you.”
As Tom went to say something a doctor interrupted. “Mrs. Holland, Y/N is in a room now. You can go sit with her while we wait for the results. Since Dr. Hammon is the one treating her, she will be here to overlook her during her stay.” Nikki nodded and grabbed Tom’s hand. They followed the doctor to Y/n's room where she looked so tiny on her bed. She had an IV in and was sleeping soundly.
“We gave her some medicine to bring her fever down. She should wake up soon.”
“Thank you doctor.” Nikki said as he walked away. She turned to Tom, “I’m going to go call your father. Sit with her please.”
“Of course.” Tom said before grabbing your hand and sitting in the chair next to your bed. Tom grabbed his phone with his other hand. He quickly added Harry, Sam, and Paddy to a group text.
T: Hospital. Room 135. Waiting on the results for Y/N. We need to talk.
H: WTF?! Is she okay? Is that where you went. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.
T: Yeah. Had to help mum. Just hurry. She should have everyone here for her.
S: Called into work and got the day off. Will be there soon.
P: Harry and I are on our way too. Be there shortly.
By the time all the brothers arrived, Dom was walking into the room as well. Nikki had already spoken with Dr. Hammon and got the news of why Y/N reacted that way. Nikki decided now was the time to tell everyone the severity of it.
“Okay guys. Y/N wanted to keep this a secret, but I no longer can. She has Hodgkin Lymphoma. Her and I noticed swelling in her neck before she was going to the states so I took her to the doctor. She was diagnosed a couple days later. That’s why she didn’t go with you boys on the trip. She’s been undergoing treatment every week to help kill the cancer.” Nikki said looking at all of her sons. “I just talked with the doctor. The bad news is she doesn’t think the antibody therapy is working. She thinks it would be best to try chemotherapy next so the cancer doesn’t spread. The good news is, the cancer hasn’t spread.”
Dom visibly relaxed at hearing that news. He was thankful you were as okay as you could be. “Did she say why she reacted this way. Why did she almost pass out?” Dom asked.
“She said her body was working in overdrive to kill the cancer cells.  Her fever got too high. Now that her fever is down, she’ll be back to her old self.”
“Old self?” Tom scoffed. “Mum she’s been sick more times than she’s been feeling okay. There’s no old self in that.”
“This is her new normal for a bit. Until she defeats the cancer, this is her old self.” Nikki responded.
You groaned and tried to open your eyes. Nikki and Dom rushed to one side as Tom rushed to your other. Tom ran his hand over your head. You turned and slowly opened your eyes and met Tom’s brown ones.
“What happened? Where am I?” You asked, confused.
“Your fever got too high. Me and mum rushed you here. You’re okay now.” Tom said. You turned to see your mum next to you with your dad.
“They know sweety.” She said. You closed your eyes for a second and turned to look at Tom again.
“I’m sorry for keeping this from you.” You said.
“Don’t be. I’m just glad you’re okay now. And I’ll be here every step of the way to help you fight.” He kissed your forehead. The rest of your brothers came up to you.
“I’m sorry Y/N/N for saying you hated us.” Harry said.
“I’m sorry too.” Sam said.
“I’m sorry as well.” Paddy said.
“It’s okay you guys. I’m sorry for not telling you. Just didn’t want you to worry. You guys have a lot going on in your life. Didn’t need to add this to the list of things you were stressing over.”
“We will always worry about you, healthy or not. You’re my baby sister. I never want you to think you have to go through something like this alone.” Tom said.
“I’ll sit with you at treatments.” Harry said.
“I’ll hangout with you when you don’t feel well at home.” Paddy said.
“I’ll make all of your favorites and I’ll make you soup.” Sam said.
You smiled at your brothers and thanked them. You were glad you had such an amazing support group to back you in this fight.
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Text
Love and Medicine ~ 14
MASTERLIST
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< previous chapter
Word Count: 5,000ish
Summary: Just another day at the medical center, right? (Based off Grey’s Anatomy)
Heading back into the hospital, you went straight for Natasha’s room. The other interns were already in there, surrounding her bed.
“Hey,” you smiled, walking over to her. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay,” she responded. “I’m okay.”
You grabbed her hand and gave it a slight squeeze. She needed to know that you were there for her, but you weren’t going to push her into talking about something she wasn’t ready to talk about.
~~~
You slammed down a shot, needing to feel the alcohol rush down your throat. 
“How was Nat when you left, Scott?” Val asked, bringing more drinks over.
“She said she was okay, again,” he responded with a slight shrug.
“Nobody goes what she went through and is totally over it by now.”
“Natasha can.”
“She’s fine,” you added, taking another shot.
“Too fine,” Val said. “She’s cold.”
“No, she’s hardcore,” Clint said. “She’s got ice in her veins. She does what she has to do to get through it.”
“She lost a baby. She lost a fallopian tube and she’s acting like she doesn’t even care. She’s acting like she has no emotions or warmth, like she’s missing a soul.”
“She’s gonna make a great surgeon.”
“Clint!”
“It’s true. You show no weakness, you make it to the top.”
“Some people just keep their feelings to themselves,” you commented.
Your eyes were on the door, where Steve had just walked in. If he noticed you, he didn’t make it noticeable. You watched as he walked over to the bar and sat beside Gamora. Steve ordered a drink from Happy before talking to Gamora. Too bad you were too far away to hear them.
“Y/N kissed me,” Steve told Gamora. “Peggy kissed me… My wife and my girlfriend kissed me on the same day.”
“Happy, do I look friend to you?” Gamora asked.
“Oh, you’re a tiny little kitten of joy and love,” Happy responded, only for Gamora to make a face. “What? He saved my life.”
“His first mistake.” She took a sip of her drink. “Captain McDreamy, go sit by someone who cares.”
“Oh gee,” Steve mocks hurt, but doesn’t make a move to go. “Everything’s gonna be fine. Peggy will leave. Y/N and I will start over. Everything’s gonna be fine. Right?”
“You are so damn stupid.”
~~~
“With Natasha out, I need everyone focused today,” Gamora told her group of interns as you all headed off to rounds. “I have a feeling it’s gonna be be one of those days and since we’re short an intern, you do not want to get on my bad side.”
“When are we not on her bad side?” You whispered to Clint.
“Speak for yourself,” he replied with a scoff. “Scott and I are her favorites.”
The group walked into their first patients room. The woman was sitting on the bed, enthralling a group of hospital workers with a tell.
“So we're in the middle of the Belizean jungle and this jaguarondi jumps out and bites one of the guides,” the woman says. “They all look at me. They're yelling, "You're a doctor, help him!" This is one time a PhD does no good.” The people laugh.
“Sorry,” Gamora interrupted, “did I miss the memo about social hour?” Everyone quickly began leaving besides your group.
“Tales of missionary life,” the woman explained.
“You’re a missionary?” Val asked.
“No, my parents. We traveled a lot. Well, they still do.”
“Lang, tell me about our patient,” Gamora ordered.
“Okay, um, this is Dr. Banner’s patient, Talya,” Scott explained. “She, uh, presents with multiple syncopal episodes and ventricular arrhythmias.”
“So you’ve been passing out?” Gamora asked.
“Yeah,” Talya confirmed, “and having palpitations.”
“Talya has past medical history of rheumatic heart disease with mitral valve stenosis,” Scott added.
“They had to ship me from Zambia to the States for 3 months of treatment when I was 8,” Tayla said. “Rheumatic fever almost killed me.”
“Someone please tell me what the primary causes of ventricular arrhythmias are,” Gamora said.
Before anyone in the room could responded, Natasha appeared in the doorway. She leaned up against it in her hospital gown with her IV stand.
“Valvular disease, mitral valve prolapse, stimulants, drugs, and metabolic abnormalities,” Natasha answered.
“Out!” Gamora ordered.
“I’m fine.”
“Out! And you better be in your bed by the time we round on you!”
“And when will that be?”
“In 15 seconds. 14. 13. 13. 11.” 
Natasha turned around to head to her room, revealing her underwear through her nightgown. The group of interned laughed.
“Nice panties, Romanoff!” Peter laughed.
Natasha flips him the bird as she keeps waking. “In your dreams, Quill.”
They followed Natasha into the room, where she huffed as she got back into bed.
“L/N,” Gamora called.
“Right,” you responded. “Natasha Romanoff. Post-op day 3 from a unilateral salpingectomy.”
“And ready to get back to work,” Natasha said. “I'm taking solids and my pain is controlled with oral meds. I'm ready.”
“Well, it says here on your chart on you had a fever?”
“Y/N,” Nat growled.
“Natasha, did you have a fever?” Gamora questioned.
“Temp spiked to 101 last night. Big deal.”
“She worked 2 shifts last month with a 102 degree flu,” Clint added.
“Yes! Exactly, Clint. Thank you.”
“And we appreciate your dedication but you're staying in bed until it normalizes,” Gamora said. “You need to relax, shut up, and get better. You're a patient this week so you can be a doctor next week. Understand?”
“I understand,” Natasha grumbled.
~~~
Rounds had finished as you were heading to your assignment when you ran into Steve near the elevators.
“Skipping rounds?” He wondered.
“No,” you replied. “They just finished.” You kept walking, when Steve took your arm to stop you.
“Y/N…”
“You’ve got a wife.”
“Yes.”
“You’re life is complicated.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t need more complicated. I have that all on my own.”
“Yes.”
“Stop saying yes.”
Steve smiled. “I’m trying not to make any sudden movements.”
“You think this is funny?”
“Peggy’s leaving. She doesn’t have any more patients. There’s no reason for her to be here.”
“No reason? Really?”
“No really whatsoever.”
Steve stepped closer, bringing his hand up to brush your cheek. You stood there, trying to not let it get to your head or, well, anywhere else. Suddenly, Peggy appeared.
“Well now, isn’t this cozy?” She said. “Can I join in or are you not into threesomes?”
“I have to go,” you said, rushing away. You didn’t go too far, interested to watch everything unfold.
“Y/N…” Steve called with a sign. He turned to Peggy. “You really are Satan. You realize that right? If Satan were to take physical form, he'd be you. Everywhere, all the time.”
“I am so not Satan,” Peggy responded.
“How come you haven't got on your broomstick and gone back to where you belong?”
“Stop being petty.”
“Stop being an adulterous bitch.”
“You know, you are going forgive me eventually, right? I mean you can't just ... I mean there was a time when you thought of me as your best friend.”
“There was a time where I thought you were the love of my life. Things change.”
Peggy sighed and pulled some papers out of her bag, handing them to Steve. Steve quickly flipped through them.
“Divorce papers,” he said.
“Your lawyer said they're ok. I haven't signed them yet. The ball's in your court. If you sign, I'll sign. I'll sign and be on the first plane out of here.”
“I'll sign them immediately. I want you out of here as soon as possible.”
“Steve, have you ever thought that, even if I am Satan and an adulterous bitch, that I still might be the love of your life?”
Not answering, Steve walks away, completely not noticing you listening in from behind a pillar.
“What are we looking at?” Tony asked, appearing out of nowhere.
“Ah!” You exclaimed, jumping slightly. “Don’t do that!” You playfully hit him. “You scared me.”
“Sorry,” he laughed. “I just saw you over here and I was interested in seeing what you were observing.”
“I think… I think Peggy just handed Steve divorce papers.”
“Really? That actually surprises me. I thought she would put in a little more of a fight.”
“Yeah…”
“I guess that’s good news for you, right?”
“I guess.”
“You guess?”
“I want him to choose me because of me, not because of a divorce.”
“In my ever humble opinion, I think it will always be you. Trust me. That man is whipped.”
~~~
Natasha snuck out of her room and stole her chart. She sat in her bed as she made changes to it. Walking by, Banner looked in and noticed that no one else was in there. He quickly took the chart of Nat.
“Hey! That’s my chart,” Natasha complained.
“You're the patient. Not the doctor. Act like one,” Bruce reprimands as he studies her chart. “It's been tough finding you alone.”
“Yeah? Well…”
“How are you doing?”
“Well, you have my chart, you tell me.”
He sighed. “Natasha, how are you doing?”
“I’m fine. Perfectly okay.”
“I had a right to know.”
“Well, now you do.”
“Natasha—“
“Look. Now you know. It’s over. There’ soothing for you to deal with. So I don’t know what else there really is left to say.”
“Plenty. For starters you could've come to me—“
“And what? We could have raised it together? Or you could have held my hand when I got the abortion? I did not need any of that. I’m an intern.”
“Nat—“
“Can you just go? I need to rest. Doctor’s orders.”
~~~
Gamora called you to help her with a patient. You two walked into the patient room together, revealing a younger man on the bed.
“I thought I told you I never want to see you again,” Gamora said to the patient.
“That's only cause you're too lazy to learn anything more,” the man responded.
“Dr. Y/N L/N, this is Nick Tate. He thinks he knows so much cause he was one of my first patient's as an intern.”
“I knew as much as she did. She was clueless about how to treat cystic fibrosis. A simple cholecystectomy turned into a month-long stay.”
“Better not be alleging malpractice. Guy raises about a 100 grand a year for cystic fibrosis, running triathlons. Thinks he's a big shot.”
“Wait, you run triathlons?” You questioned, confused how it could as a patient with cystic fibrosis.
“Yeah, why not?” He responded.
“It’s a pain for one,” Gamora replied, flipping through the chart. “Says here you're finally admitting to feeling a little unwell?”
“A little.”
“How little? Truth.”
“Oh, enough to keep me awake at night. Had some seizures. Um, too weak to work out.”
“Anyone been through here with your CT results?”
“No. It's probably just my pancreatitis kicking up again.”
“All right then. We'll be back. With your results and a plan.” Gamora walked to the door, with you following. She glanced back at Nick. “Huh, where do your parents think you are this time?”
He smiled. “Hmm, San Diego.”
Gamora shakes her head as you follow her the rest of the way out of the room.
“What about his parents?” You asked. “Shouldn’t he, or we, tell them?”
“No, he doesn't like to bother them until he's well or about to get discharged. He understands his reality. He just chooses to ignore it. Denial works for him, L/N.”
~~~
After Bruce had left, it only took Natasha two minutes to have found blue scrubs and change into them. She took out her IV and snuck out to the nurses station. She began looking through patient charts. The head nurse, Phil Coulson, found her like that.
“Where’s your IV?” He asked, looking at her with a disappointed father face.
“I've taken solids. I HEP-locked it,” Natasha replied.
“On whose orders?”
“Mine.”
“Okay.” Phil quickly found her chart and began reading it. “Romanoff. How about this order: best rest, out of bed to chair, bathroom privileges. Nothing about stealing charts at the nurses station.”
“Okay, you know what….” She quickly looked around to find a nearby empty wheelchair. She brought it over and sat down in it. “There, satisfied? I’m out of bed to chair.”
“I’m telling your intent on you.”
“Y/N?”
“Yeah.”
“Oooh, I’m so scared.”
She wheeled off with a patient chart, heading to Tayla’s room. When she arrived, she witnessed Tayla, by herself, taking a pill.
“I saw that!” Natasha exclaimed from her wheelchair in the doorway. “I saw you take that pill.”
“Oh it's, it's my pill,” Tayla excused. “You know... the pill.”
Natasha quickly looked over the chart. “It’s not at all in your chart and you are supposed to tell us the meds you are on.”
“You’re not my doctor. You shouldn't even be here.”
“She’s right,” Val said, appearing from behind. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I saw her take unauthorized medication!” Natasha continued.
“Well, you’re unauthorized to be here.”
“I’m on the pill and I had grapefruit juice this morning,” Tayla explained. “Since the juice inhibits enzymes involved in the metabolism of OCPs, I thought I'd avoid the interaction by taking it two hours after my meal.”
“She's has a doctorate in neuropharmacology, Natasha.”
Natasha huffed, “Well, Val, I don’t see any place where oral contra—“
“Okay so now you will. Will you just go back to bed and stop bothering the other patients?”
Tayla’s heart monitor suddenly started racing, bringing the other women attentions to her. She fell to the floor, unconscious, and Val rushed to her.
“She’s in V-FIB!” Natasha said. 
“Call the code,” Val ordered as she began compressions.
Natasha practically jumped out of her chair to call a code, which didn’t feel good. Val got Tayla back as the code team arrived.
“No code?” The nurse questioned.
“Not anymore,” Val answered. “Can you help get her back into bed.
“I’ll—I’ll help,” Natasha breathed got, struggling to get back to her wheelchair. “Just give me a minute.”
“Would you just go back to bed? Seriously, please just go.”
Natasha nodded as she finally made it to the wheelchair. “Just… if she’s on OCP’s, mark it down. Okay, Val?”
“Yeah.”
~~~
You had gotten Nick’s x-ray’s back and were currently putting them up to view them with Gamora by your side.
“Nick’s got a mass in his midepigastrium,” you explained. “Diffused enlargement of the pancreas. That, with his hypoglycemic seizures—“
“He's going to need an exploratory laparotomy. But, despite his triathlons, his lungs still make me hesitant to cut,” Gamora added.
“What are we going to do?”
“I haven’t gotten that far yet.”
“Doctors,” Peggy greeted.
“Dr. Carter-Rogers.”
“How old is he?” Peggy asked, studying the x-rays.
“26.”
“Survivor, huh?”
“And them some. My patient for at least 5 years. I'm not gonna lose him now.”
“You planning a laparotomy?”
“Hmm. You know, I think I could help you with this. I've seen one case like this before in a 9 year old. We ended up having to do a total pancreotectomy.”
“I'd be honored to take any help you can give me.”
“You’re a neonatal specialist,” you said. “What, uh… this isn’t your area.” Gamora looked at you, annoyed, as she shock her head. “I’m just saying that—“
“I did 2 years genetic research in cystic fibrosis,” Peggy told you. “I've pretty much seen it all, Dr. L/N.”
“Oh.”
~~~
Walking down the hall, Steve found you. Always trying his best to make a conversation with you. This time it was easy.
“Are you sure your wife is leaving?” You questioned. “She offered to help on the case Gamora has me working on.”
“Just because she offered her services doesn't mean she intends to stay,” Steve responded.
“Well, what does it mean? Because it seems to me—“
“It means that she's a good doctor.”
“Huh… why are you suddenly defending her?”
“I’m not. Y/N, she gave me divorce papers. She filed.”
“Good for you.”
“All I have to do is sign, and I’m free… We’re free.”
“Is there anything to think about?”
“No,” he shook his head, “of course not. I have to read through them, sign, then Peggy’s on the next plane out of here.” He grabbed your hands. “This is going to work.”
~~~
After the conversation he had with you, Steve immediately went searching for Gamora.
“Of all the fine doctors in the city, you accept a consult from Peggy Carter,” Steve said, angrily.
“Carter-Rogers, isn’t it?” Gamora retorted.
“The point is she should be on her way home. Are you purposefully trying to drive me crazy?”
“You think this has something to do with you?” Gamora’s voice was loud and upset. “You think I’m even thinking about you and your romantic problems? I’m trying to help a patient very near and dear to my heart. And if consulting with your wife—your ex—your mistress, what ever it is that she becomes! If that’s the thing I have to do to save my patient, them I’m damn well gonna do it.”
“I understand… and I totally deserve the yelling. It’s just that—“
“Just, you look! You have put yourself between two very fine women and you looking for an easy way out and you wanna use me, and the hospital and... somebody to make the decision for you, and it's not gonna happen!”
“Could I just… could I just say a couple of things?”
“No.” Gamora stormed off.
~~~
You found Natasha sitting in her bed, in her room. Thankfully. Though she was looking through another patient’s chart. You pulled a chair up to her bedside and sat down in it with a sigh.
“What’s your problem?” Natasha asked.
“Peggy gave Steve divorce papers, which is good. I mean she’s still here, being Peggy, but it’s not like I’m jealous or anything.”
“That’s odd.”
“It’s odd I’m not jealous?”
“No, you have every right to be jealous. It's your territory and she's peeing all over it.” Natasha went back to focusing on the chart in her hands. “What’s odd is Banner’s patient.”
“Tayla?”
“Yeah. She’s been in 4 other hospitals this year. You know something’s not right.”
“You seem awfully interested in Banner’s patient.”
“This has nothing to do with Bruce.”
“Natasha, you lost a fallopian tube, a baby and a boyfriend all in one day. You have the right to be upset.”
“And you’re losing Captain McDreamy to his perfect wife. You have the right to be jealous.”
“I did not lose Captain McDreamy. Divorce papers, remember? And I’m not jealous.”
“And I’m not upset. I really need to get out of here.”
“You’re on bedrest, remember?”
“Okay, if the situation was reversed, would you wanna spend time with your mother in a confined room with one window?”
“No. I guess not. But still. You need to stay put.” 
Before Natasha could respond, your pager beeped. You looked down at it and groaned.
“I got to go,” you muttered, leaving.
“Good luck!”
~~~
Peggy and Gamora met you in Nick’s room. There you began explaining the surgery to him.
“We won't know for sure until we go in there, but it looks like that I'm going to have to take out your pancreas and re-route your intestines,” Peggy said.
Nick looked at Gamora. “Did you tell her that my lungs don't do well with anesthesia?”
“Don’t I always have your back?” Gamora retorted.
“Your kidney function is decreasing rapidly and I'm afraid you're gonna go into multi-system organ failure if we don't operate,” Peggy continued.
“If I say no?” Nick wondered.
“There’s no guarantees, Nick. You know that,” Gamora answered. “It's gonna be a long, hard surgery and put a lot of stress on your body.”
“Yeah,” he smiled, “but I’m me.”
She smiled back. “But you’re you.”
“So if we don’t operate, I die. And if… we do operate, I may die.”
“Basically, yes,” Peggy responded.
“Well, I like those odds. And 26 years with this disease is awesome. And that's the reality. So if I get lucky ... great. And if I don’t…” Nick grabbed Gamora’s hand, “it’s been sweet.”
“It’s gonna stay sweet,” she replied.
~~~
Natasha was laying on her bed with her harm over her eyes when Clint walked into the room. Tayla’s chart was laid out on top of her.
“Why do you have that?” He asked.
“I’m working,” Nat answered. “Trying to figure out what’s going on with the crazy woman on four.”
“You are the crazy woman on four. Though, I have to say, you have a better patina than me and you don’t even really have a patient.” Clint plopped down in the chair next to her bed. “Y/N’s got a CF case. Peter has a gunshot wound. Val’s got the mystery arrhythmias. I have babysitting a crazy old lady! I’d rather do scut with Scott than this! I’m a surgeon. A cutter. I don’t want to be a fake surgeon! I want to be a real one!”
“She’s faking it,” Nat repeated to herself. She quickly got off the bed. “The missionary. Talya… Thank you!” 
She patted Clint’s head as she walked by. Natasha headed straight for the nurses station, where she saw Val looking around for something.
“Val!” Natasha called. “How how Talya’s studies been?”
“Hey!” Val responded, not pleasantly as she took the chart from Nat. “I’ve been looking everywhere for that!”
“Negative, right?”
“Oh! The echo tests showed mild mitral stenosis, the tilt test was negative. We're doing EP studies.”
“I can tell you what's wrong with her without sticking electrodes in her heart.”
“Really. Just by the chart?”
“No, from the pill she took.”
“They were contraceptives, Natasha! Why are you so obsessed with this? Just go back to bed!”
“I think she’s doing this to herself.”
“You think she's inducing ventricular arrhythmias? She'd have to be crazy to do—“
“No, no, no. She'd have to have Munchausen’s.”
“Okay wait. You think she's secretly ingesting something to produce real symptoms? Seriously?”
“Yes. Run it by Banner and tell me what he thinks.”
“Why don’t you tell him yourself. He is standing right behind you.” Val made eye contact with the man. “Dr. Banner.” 
Then Val left. Leaving Natasha will Bruce. She sighed as Bruce guided her into the small office nearby before listening to her.
“I mean, she obviously loves the patient role. She practically lives in hospitals. And... and, and we're like an imaginary family to her because her really family blows her off to go take care of other people.... And, and I saw her take something.”
“It's not enough,” Bruce said, shaking his head. “We have to rule out everything else. Everything physical.”
“She even lied about her job. She's a pharmacy tech, not a PhD.”
“So she's a liar. I've been lied to before.”
“Hey, we're not talking about us here.”
“Maybe we should be.”
“I didn’t lie!”
“You withheld the truth from me. How was00”
“Okay, you know what? I distinctly remember you breaking things off with me. And you didn't seem so upset about it. And this?” She motioned between herself and Bruce. “This is, this is not a relationship. This is not real.”
“Natasha…”
“Okay, and, and so what's with the big display of fake hurt and drama?” She began walking out of the room.
“Natasha!”
“I’m supposed to be in bed.”
~~~
You absolutely did not want to be in surgery with Peggy. Yet there you were.
“I need more traction,” Peggy stated. “Dr. Y/N?” You quickly did as you were told.
“Here,” Gamora called, “give me some suction there.” So you did. “Now L/N, retract the duodenum. Good. How’s he doing Vis?”
Vis was keeping watch over Nick’s vitals and such. “Harder to ventilate and no urine output since we started,” Vis informed.
Peggy shook her head, “he’s shutting down.”
“Did you increase his peak pressures?” Gamora asked.
“Any higher, I blow his lungs,” Vis responded before the monitor beeped. “Bradycardia. Pushing 1 of atropine.”
“Try ventilating him manually,” Peggy ordered, “see if he starts coming back up.” Vis began pushing on a bag.
“Did we miss any bleeders?” Gamora wondered.
“The surgical field is clear.”
The monitor began beeping faster. “Agonal rhythm,” you said.
“Any pulse with that?” Gamora asked.
“No carotid,” Vis answered.
“Okay, starting CPR.” Gamora handed over her tools and begun CPR. “Push one of EPI.”
“No extraordinary measures, Gamora,” Peggy warned. “He’s DNR.”
“No this is just good medicine.” Sh continued CPR, almost frantically. “Come on! Come on! Don’t give up. Come on.”
“You’re getting tired,” you noted. “Let me take over, Dr. Gamora.” She nodded, letting you quickly switch her places.
“Gamora, his intestines are cyanotic,” Peggy stated. “There’s no blood circulating.”
“It’s been shunted to his brain where he needs it,” Gamora responded as she studied your CPR form. “You call those compressions.” She shoved you to the side and took over CPR. You and Peggy made eye contact, worried. “Fight it. Come on.” Peggy looked around, shaking her head, and everyone stopped what they were doing. All but Gamora. “Why isn’t anyone moving? Whose recording?”
“It's been ten minutes since we've had a perfusing rhythm.” Peggy goes to stop Gamora but is shrugged off. The monitor flat lines. “It’s your call, Gamora.”
Taking a shaky inhale, Gamora stopped. She pulled off her mask as the monitor continues to flat line. “Asystole.” She looked up at the clock. “Time of death: 19:35.”
Gamora rushed out of the OR, trying not to cry. She went straight to the sinks and began cleaning her hands furiously. She paused when she noticed people covering up Nick’s body. Peggy walked in and started washing her hands as well, with you following. You both eyed Gamora a few times, worried. Soon, she left.
Peggy sighed. “It’s hard to accept the end when you’re too close.” She looked down as she slipped her wedding ring back onto her finger. She noticed you watching. “Look, I don't want someone who doesn't want me, Y/N. But if there's the slightest chance that he does, I'm not leaving New York.”
~~~
Val walked into Natasha’s room, not excited for the news she was about to tell her.
“Well?” Natasha asked.
“You were right,” Val sighed. “Talya definitely suffers from Munchausen’s.”
“See I was right…. I was right…” She closed her eyes. “I was right…” Nat began to cry. “I was right. I was… I was right. Oh… I’m—I’m—“ She let out a sob. “I’m right. I’m—I’m right.”
Val looked out of the room to see Clint walking by. “Clint! Page Y/N!”
Clint hurried in. “Why? What—what’s happening? What did you do to her?”
“She just started crying and I don’t know what to do!”
“I’ll get one of the nurses to page, Y/N.” Clint rushed out.
“Natasha,” Val tried, slowly coming closer. “Natasha, calm down.”
“The nurses paged her!” Clint came rushing back in.
“It’s okay, Nat.” Val went in for a hug, only for Nat to shrink away and cry harder. “Okay, okay. I won’t hug you.”
“What’s going on?” You came running in, panicked.
“I can’t stop!” Nat cried. “I can’t—-I can’t stop…”
“Crying,” Val finished for her. “She can’t stop crying.”
“I can’t see that!” You replied. “What did you guys do to her?”
“Nothing!”
“She’s going to dehydrate,” Clint said. “Nat, do you want some water?”
Nat shook her head, “no, no…” You tried to go in for a hug, only to be pulled away.
“NO!” Clint and Val exclaimed.
“I already tried that,” Val said. “It just made it worse.” Clint tentatively handed Nat a tissue.
“Natasha,” you tried again.
“Make—make it stop,” Natasha sobbed. “Make it stop… Somebody sedate me!”
“What’s going on in here?” Bruce asked, walking in. He was dressed like he was about to leave. There was clear concern etched on his face. 
“We can’t get her to stop crying,” you replied.
“Y/N, get everyone else out of here.” Bruce was taking off his jacket. “Watch the door.”
You nodded, quickly ushering Clint and Val out. They voiced protests, but willing left. You shut the door behind you and watched. Peeking through the window, you watched as Bruce got in the bed beside Nat. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Natasha willingly curled into him, welcoming his comfort. You sighed and turned away, leaning against the door to keep watch. Steve noticed you and came up.
“Hey,” he smiled.”
“Hey.”
“When are you off?”
“Uh,” you glanced at your watch, “in about an hour. Why?”
“Meet me at Happy’s when you get off.” He started walking backwards, sly smirk on his lips. “Don’t be late.”
~~~
Steve and you arrived at Happy’s bar at the same time. He gave you a smile as he held the door open for you. You walked over to an empty table, Steve close behind.
“I’m glad we’re doing this,” you said.
“Me too,” Steve replied. He set it briefcase on his chair. “Want a drink?”
“Yes, please.”
Turning around, Steve knocked his briefcase onto the ground. A stack of papers slipped out.
“I’ve got it,” Steve quickly said, bending down.
“I’ll get it,” you said, picking up the papers.
You glance at the papers as you stand back up. There his divorce papers, that he has yet to sign.
next chapter >
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113 notes · View notes
inthehytes · 3 years
Note
Taking care of your partner when sick with jasco? College AU and sick jasmine maybe? Thank you
College AUs always hit different I swear 😌
—-
Bosco knew something was amiss when Jasmine called them in the middle of what was supposed to be her afternoon dance practice. The group was gearing up for another competition and had been working nonstop in their allotted hour which meant little time for water breaks let alone phone calls. They answer the call immediately, nudging Aveyah to the side a little so they could sit up on their bed fully.
“Jas? Shouldn’t you be in practice right now?” Bosco asks as the line clicked through, connecting their call and flooding the line with the hustle of background noise.
“Bosco? This is Jorgeous, you need to come to the hospital. Jasmine, she passed out in practice and hit her head.” Jorgeous’ voice sounded frantic as she relayed the events of the past few minutes to Bosco.
Bosco curses quietly under their breath, springing into action to grab their shoes and keys before they’re out the door and making a break for the sidewalk. Jorgeous tells them that she’s waiting in the waiting room for Bosco, that only Jasmine’s emergency contact could go to the room with her and the only person the blonde had listed was Bosco.
Jasmine looks small, hunched over on herself when Bosco reaches the room the nurse had given them. She glances up tiredly when their shoes squeak through the doorway, a small smile forming on her lips.
“You loved this place so much the first time you just had to come back?” They tease her, moving to sit next to her on the mattress.
“I’m sorry you had to come up here, I don’t know what happened, I just started to feel really hot in practice and then I woke up on the floor. I think I gave Jorgeous a heart attack.” Jasmine muses, curling into Bosco until she’s almost in their lap. She isn’t hooked to any machines or IVs which Bosco takes as a good thing.
“You’re overexerting yourself baby, your body couldn’t handle it anymore.” Bosco fills her in on what the nurses told them, overexertion coupled with a fever had overloaded Jasmine’s body until it gave out. “You’re on bed rest until the fever’s gone.”
“I’m fine I promise Bos, I just got too hot is all.” Jasmine tries to protest, knowing bed rest would mean missing the competition, something the blonde would rather die than do. Competing was her life, all she knew, and she would be damned if a little fever ruined it for her.
“Jasmine I will cuff you to your bed if I have to. The nurses said no strenuous activities and to rest until you’re feeling better.” Bosco threatens, tilting Jasmine’s face up until she’s looking them in the eye. “We aren’t playing around with your health you hear me? I-I’ve lost too many people in my life because of it. I’m not going to lose you too.”
Jasmine’s quiet for a moment, guilt flooding her expression as she thinks about all the people Bosco had lost to illness growing up. Their grandparents, their childhood best friend, and even their mother their senior year of high school. She gives in with a little nod eventually, squeezing them tight around the waist as she burrows her head into their chest.
“You’re not going to lose me, I’m right here Bosco.” She promises, kissing the spot over their heart to deal the deal. “I’m not going anywhere except home and to bed.”
“Good girl.”
16 notes · View notes
redstainedsocks · 3 years
Text
Wrong
I've had this half-written in my docs for a long while, under the heading "doorstep collapse" so I think it was for a prompt or whump event but I don't remember which one...
Normal story this time, not the AU!
Content: sick fic, fainting, delirious whumpee, hospital setting, use of sedatives, reference to noncon drug use, mentioned death threat and manner of death, overwhelmed caretaker
[Masterlist]
One or two of the team had taken to sleeping at the office at a time so that Zach was never there alone. Archer wanted to stay every night, always eager to be nearby in case something happened, but he’d been convinced to go home at least one out of every three nights.
He’d spent last night at home, sleeping guiltily in his own soft bed, miles and miles from where his best friend was holed up in a sparse, grey room that was as far from homely as Archer could imagine. Though he knew for Zach it was probably the most comfort he’d had in years, which made Archer feel even worse.
He’d slept well at home, exhausted from late nights and stress, but he would much rather have been here. The pull out couch in the break room was lumpy and not long enough for his tall frame but he still preferred it these days. Zach was just down the hall and it soothed a tightness in Archer’s chest to be close by. To know he could walk down the corridor and lay eyes on the person he thought he’d lost.
He was still untangling his own mix of grief and disbelief, but he knew it was easier to bear the guilt of having left Zach with his kidnappers if he was at least around to make sure it didn’t happen again; if he could be there to help Zach feel safe now.
It was easier not to have to examine his emotions and thoughts at all, if he was so exhausted that he couldn’t think straight.
Zach had gone to bed a couple of hours ago and he had sat up flicking through paperwork, trying to keep busy even as his eyes itched with tiredness. His ‘bed’ was made up ready for the night but he was sprawled on top of it, putting off the moment of sleep until he could close his eyes and be instantly drawn under.
He was surprised to hear a soft knock at the door, tentative, the sound of someone off balance slumping on the other side. Maybe Zach couldn’t sleep either? Maybe he’d finally had a nightmare and come for company—something none of them had seen him do yet.
“It’s open,” he said, half sitting up.
The door swung inward and Zach teetered on the threshold. His eyes roved across the room, landing on Archer but darting away again.
“Zach?” Archer was up and off the bed in an instant, but paused a meter or so away, as Zach looked flighty and liable to flinch at any contact.
“Ar-cher.”
“Yeah?”
“I think,” Zach spoke and it was slurred and he clung to the doorframe. “I think something is wrong.”
Archer barely had time to react before Zach’s eyes rolled backward and his body crumpled underneath him. Archer caught him just before his head hit the floor.
Time was standing still and moving too fast all at once. The ambulance had taken what felt like hours to arrive, while Archer sat there cradling Zach—delirious, feverish, burning up and shaking like a leaf.
The private hospital they were in now was clean, clinical, and calm. Quiet. Discrete. It was a good place to keep Zach hidden and secure, but being there still set his teeth on edge. He paced the corridor-like waiting room back and forth, glad that no one told him to stop. The team had all been called; Sasha had been the one who turned up and stayed. She was a quiet, steady presence. And though he could tell from the line of her tense muscles that she was as worried as he was, she let him be the one to fall apart while she held it together.
Zach had a fever, something was infected. The doctors just couldn’t find where or what. They hadn’t been allowed to see him. Yet. Archer hoped that would change soon.
He rubbed his face tiredly. “I should get more coffee.”
“I think coffee is the last thing you need,” Sasha replied, calmly. “Come sit down.”
He glanced at her and shook his head. He needed to be moving, doing. “If he—” Archer couldn’t even bring himself to say it. “After everything, if this is too much for his body to handle…”
“Nothing is going to happen, the doctors are gonna fix it.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Don’t I?” She levelled him with a look that could surely make a mountain bow down and grovel.
“How didn’t we notice something was wrong?”
“He doesn’t let us near him, not really.”
Finally, he slumped into a seat beside her. “I should’ve watched out for him more carefully, checked he was okay. I should’ve… I owe him. We just… we can’t let him down again, we have to do better.”
“Archer, we’re doing everything we can,” she said gently.
“It’s not enough!” He snapped. “We abandoned him! We just left him there and now we can’t even take care of him? Can’t even tell what he needs?”
“Montgomery Archer, sit. Back. Down,” she hissed.
He hadn’t even realised he was standing. He looked down at her, the unfairness still burning through him, how could she not care? Until he saw her face, eyes glistening, and realised the strength of will it was taking for her to hold it together.
“This is a goddamn hospital and this is not the time,” she said, squeezing her hands between her knees. “We thought he was dead, and there’s shit all we can do about it now. You can have a breakdown about it later, but not now, not like this.”
He took a seat, sheepishly. “Sorry. I… seeing him collapse like that has me all churned up.”
“Don’t apologise, you big oaf. Just breathe, and know they’re doing everything they can, and give yourself some damn slack while you’re at it.” She sniffed and turned away.
He scooted down in his chair and leaned against her shoulder, glad she didn't shrug him off, and relieved not to be alone.
*
They were finally allowed in the room once Zach was stabilised. Allowed in because, in the doctor’s words… Zach was resistant. Archer hadn’t really understood the implications of that, his mind taken up with thoughts of he’s fine, he’s alive, they’ve got it under control.
But now… he could see what they meant. Zach was fighting the sedative, semi-conscious and struggling, suffering. He couldn’t really move, but his eyes were open and he was frightened, terrified, but so obviously not-really-here, either. Whatever had happened these past two years Zach had built up some tolerance to the drugs they’d given him and it was heart-breaking; seeing him foggy but alert, unsure of where he was and unable—but so desperate—for something he couldn't name or do.
“See if you can get him to remain calm, he needs to rest,” the doctor said, arms crossed in concern as his eyes roved over Zach’s prone form. “We can’t try him on anything else until this one is out of his system but even then… He’s been asking for someone, we assumed, well, it might be you?”
Archer nodded, cleared his throat. ‘Right, yeah. He knows me, I can—I’ll do what I can. Anything I should be careful of?”
“Just mind the IV line, and call us in if he gets more agitated or anything changes.”
“Okay, I’ve got this. Thank you, Doctor.”
He did not have this. Not even a little bit. He felt completely out of his depth. He loved Zach like a brother, had loved him and mourned him, and now… felt like he barely knew him. What qualified him to take care of Zach like this? He wrung his hands and stepped closer as Sasha sidled around to the other side of the bed. Zach’s eyes tried to track her, and lost her somewhere along the way. His breathing sped up again, bloodshot eyes wide and aimlessly roving as his fingers twitched on the bed sheets.
“Please, please,” Zach murmured. Whispered, almost. It was slurred but unmistakable.
Sasha gave Archer a look, and nodded to the bed. He shook his head. She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms and they stared each other down.
I can’t do this. He hoped she understood what his look implied.
Her answering look seemed to say you’re not even trying.
He threw his hands up in defeat and stepped closer. Zach’s eyes landed on Archer’s face and he twitched feebly, shivering in his sparse hospital bed.
“‘M good, I’ll be good, please.”
Archer leaned against the bed, trying to look reassuring, confident. “Yeah, you’re doing really well, okay? We’ve got you, nothing to worry about.”
Zach’s hand jerked and his mouth opened and closed before he whined. “Hurts.”
“I know, buddy, I know.” He looked at Sasha who nodded, so he took Zach’s hand and lightly squeezed. “It’s alright.”
“Please, you promised. Promised.”
That took Archer by surprise and he sucked in a breath, biting his tongue.” I know, I-I said nothing else bad would happen to you, I didn’t know this would happen…”
There was a frustrated look on Zach’s face and his eyes filled with tears, his head flopped a little, side to side. “You promised.”
Archer did the only thing he could think of, he squeezed Zach’s hand tighter and dragged the chair by the bed closer so he could sit and be a calming presence. He wouldn’t abandon Zach, not again, no matter how much Zach yelled and cried at him, broken-hearted though it made him to know he’d let Zach down another time.
“I’ll do whatever--ever you want. Sir, please,” Zach’s voice cracked and he mumbled into incoherence, all in a pleading, painfully placating tone.
Archer’s eyes shot up and he met Sasha’s across the bed, looking as concerned as he did as realisation dawned on them both. Zach wasn’t here.
“Where do you think you are, Zach?” she asked quietly.
Zach--who had flinched at sound of his own name--whimpered. “Can’t--don’t know.”
“You’re safe, we’re here, me and Sasha, and the team has our back. You’re in hospital,” Archer said.
Zach looked at him, clearly, finally. “Promise? Keep your word, like you promised?”
“What did I promise you?” It was a calculated risk to play into whatever Zach thought he was seeing, but he needed to know, didn’t he?
“You said… said you wouldn’t lemme die like this. Not like this. A bullet, you promised, not--not sick, not slowly.”
Archer couldn’t breathe, he blinked furiously to try to keep the tears at bay. “I promise, no-one is dying, not here. Not like this.”
Zach breathed out and tears ran down his cheeks as he closed his eyes and rested his head heavily on the pillows. “Promise. And I’ll be good.”
It seemed to be enough to make Zach settle, and he fell into a fitful doze. Sasha brushed hair back from his forehead and checked the lines in the IV on his right hand. Archer brought Zach’s left hand to his face and kissed the back of his wrist, rubbed his thumb in a circle and then laid it down on the sheets and sat back to bury his face in his own hands.
He jumped when Sasha touched his shoulder and scrubbed hastily at his eyes. “We don’t leave him, one of us stays with him until he’s himself again,” he said, voice thick. “We can’t let him get lost in his own head.”
“I’ll get us something to eat,” she said. “We’ll see him through this.” She left quietly, slipping out the door with graceful ease so they kept their privacy.
He nodded. They would. But really… what could they do in the face of all this?
“What the hell did they do to you?” he whispered to the quiet room.
Zach was too far gone to answer.
@haro-whumps @whumpthisway @hurting-fictional-people @lonesome--hunter @crowned-avery @extrabitterbrain @firewheeesky @outofangband
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yesttoheaven · 3 years
Text
AMOR FATI
pairing – neil x female!reader
wc – 3.8k
warnings – mention of death, self-blame, anxious/intrusive thoughts, questioning reality, refusal of help, guns, stalking, but I swear there's a light at the end of the tunnel haha
a/n – The last time I suffered so hard for the death of a character, was when Newt died (Maze Runner) and now Neil has captured all my attention and his death has hit me in the same way 😩 I needed a happy ending so I decided to write this!
The Eternal Return and Amor Fati mentioned in this fic are one of the main ideas of Nietzsche's philosophy.
English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.
Y/N – your name
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She approached the painting hanging on the wall, watching the details closely. Ouroboros. A serpent eating its own tail. Months ago, when Y/N was visiting an antique store in Mumbai, she saw that same symbol. The owner of the establishment approached when she realized her interest in the piece and explained that Ouroboros represents the ideas of movement, continuity and, in consequence, Eternal Return. A concept that the universe and all existence and energy has been recurring, and will continue to recur, in a self-similar form an infinite number of times across infinite time or space.
"Max finally fell asleep." Kat returned to the living room, attracting Y/N's attention.
She walked away from the painting, taking back her seat on the sofa and asked:
"How is he after everything that happened?"
For a moment, Kat looked at the painting on the wall and then at the friend she won in the midst of confusion over the Algorithm. At that time, despite being fighting on the front lines to prevent a possible Third World War, Y/N seems complete. Happy. Today that happiness no longer exists in her eyes.
Letting out a sigh, the woman sat next to her, answering:
"Sator was never a present father. He was always busy... now i can see the kind of work he was involved in. Anyway, Max just got used to his absence."
"It's notable that he's happier at your side. When we first met Max was a bit of an introvert, but today he is radiant." Y/N confessed, showing a small smile and the blonde shook her head, agreeing with her words. "How's everything?"
"Perfectly well. It's weird sometimes... After years of being stuck in a failed relationship, freedom is good."
"It seems like life is good for one of us." The woman let out a bitter laugh, putting the latest events on a scale, but she didn’t want her friend to think she wasn’t happy for her. She really was. "I'm sorry, I just..." The words remain stuck in her throat, while she covers her face with her hands. In addition to physical and mental fatigue, Y/N tried to hide her grief.
Kat touched her shoulder, showing that she was here.
"I know you're hurt, but it's been three months and you never talked about what happened that day... This is not good for you."
"What do I have to say, Kat? The guy I fell in love with was a fucking time traveler! And now he's dead and I don't know what to do. My life just... stopped without him."
"I can imagine how difficult it's for you to cross that line without Neil at your side, but giving up is not an option. Grief is consuming you little by little and you are just accepting it..."
"We are trained to contain our emotions and deal with death in the best possible way. It used to be easy for me, but then he came and turned my life upside down." Y/N put her hands on her knees and stood up, walking without an exact destination. "Neil was always one step ahead of us all..." She stepped forward too and found the painting again, but her mind was lost in thoughts about him. Neil knew her so well. And he had a charming smile, but completely arrogant at the same time. "I was sent to Mumbai to help two agents and when I arrived at Priya's penthouse that night, there he was. When he saw me, that was the first and only time that he let his guard down. I'll never forget how he looked at me, it was one of those breathtaking moments... Completely cliché, I know."
On the sofa, Kat was impressed. When Y/N turned towards her, there was a bright smile on her face. The simple memory brought her a breath of happiness and Kat enjoyed seeing her friend like that, but unfortunately that moment did not last long. Memories aren't enough. Neil is dead and nothing can change that.
"I miss him so much, Kat." The smile disappeared as soon as tears appeared in her eyes, cascading down her cheeks.
"My dear..." Worried about her, the woman got up quickly and approached Y/N, wrapping her in a tight hug. "I'm really sorry."
"I spent the last three months locked up in my a-apartment because I thought I could handle this situation on my own. At times I b-believed it was just a fever dream... Maybe I was losing my mind, but this is proof that everything was real." Through tears blurring her vision, she looked at the watch on her wrist, remembering that night.
Y/N was in a private cabin on the ship. The others were with Ives and Wheeler, going over the mission in search of any loose ends. A standard procedure. Y/N knew she should be with them, but she needed a moment alone to organize her thoughts. And that moment is now. The past few weeks had been a real mess. The inversion was difficult to explain and mainly to understand. She was used to field missions, but being an inverted soldier on the battlefield was not in her plans. Either way, she agreed to be a part of it and running away with biased assumptions was not going to help. Humanity depends on them.
Three knocking on the door caught Y/N's attention, but she remained silent, waiting for the person to give up and leave, but when it didn't, she just murmured 'Come in'.
"So, here you are." The man used a surprised tone of voice and closed the door behind him. "What will our superior think when he learns that you are running away from the briefing?"
She let out a laugh before answering in the same mood:
"Don't worry, I know this mission like the back of my hand. I just needed a moment."
"There's something wrong? Are you ok?" Neil spilled the questions quickly, visibly concerned for her.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Neil." Y/N smiled at him, but looked away just seconds later, confessing: "Maybe I'm a little surprised by the situation. I have spent years dealing with terrorists, but the inversion is really not my point."
"I'm not good with advice, but someone once said to me: Don't try to understand. Certain things in the world do not need an explanation."
"It's wise advice, but I'm a methodical person. Logic has always been my ally in missions."
"A methodical person, huh?" He asked with an arrogant smile playing on his lips and she just rolled her eyes. "I know how worried you were when Sator shot Kat, but we are using the inversion to save the world and you're one of the most brilliant agents I have ever seen. Everything will be fine."
"Are you praising me?"
"What's that? Can't I praise my partner's talent?" Neil pulled up a chair to sit across from her, crossing his arms.
"In that case, thank you. Remind me to put this on my resume." Those words made him laugh and that sound could easily be compared to music in her ears.
Touching her knee, Neil added:
"We are very confident with the mission. You don't need to worry."
"Are you sure?"
"I cannot say that unforeseen events do not happen, but we are prepared for that." Y/N knew he was right, but this mission is the biggest one so far. It's not about saving a country. It's about saving the entire world. This was arousing insecurities in her and it was like walking in a minefield. Ironically, she was familiar with this, but not in such catastrophic proportions. "I want you to have this." The man took his watch off his wrist and handed it to her.
"What’s that supposed to mean?" The question came out as a whisper from between her lips.
It didn't make sense. Why does everything in this conversation look like a farewell?
"We will be on opposite sides tomorrow, but i want you to know... I will always be with you, Y/N."
"I saw the way he looked at you... That's how I used to look at Sator before he became a monster in my life." Kat started, running a hand through Y/N's hair. "When I was lying on that stretcher and partially drugged with the medicines, I saw him beside you... watching you sleep. There was so much love in his eyes. Love for a lifetime, Y/N. So don't do this to yourself. The way he left hurt us all, but there was nothing you or any other agent could do to change what happened at Stalask-12. Neil saved the world. This gave us a second chance. You cannot give up now. This organization needs you. And keeping your mind busy at that moment is the first step towards a fresh start."
"N-No, I can't..." She broke the hug, shaking her head in denial. "I left the organization."
"What? Don't you work for Tenet anymore? But when we first met you told me that you can't imagine working in another area... And that this is your life's work."
"Being an agent is my life's work. I was in Yemen when Tenet found me and assigned me to this mission. My only job is to make this world a less hostile place, but the motto of this organization is not what I believe, Kat. What's happened's happened. Really? It doesn't work for me." Y/N ended the sentence with drops of anger in her voice and Kat did not say a single word.
Through the newspapers, Max's mother followed what was happening in Yemen over the years – a real endless war – and knowing that Y/N was in the middle of it, makes the situation unquestionable. People died in front of her eyes. Friends of the corporation. And then some time later, Tenet arrived with a fresh start, but in the end everything remained the same. She lost Neil. It is as if her life's work never had a happy ending because the world will never stop being a hostile place.
"He knows?" It was easy for Y/N to identify who she was talking about. The Protagonist. Or just TP.
"Here's another problem. I worked with him and indirectly worked for him at the same time! God, that man created this organization! And his name remains a mystery to us all!" She pinched the tip of her nose, feeling frustrated with all the secrets that haunt this organization. "And answering your question, yes, he knows, but he did not argue about it. I was a complete mess and he was not doing very well either... He stayed in my apartment for the first month, probably to make sure I didn't do anything stupid." And Y/N would be forever grateful for that. She likes him. Just as friends, of course. TP was a reserved man, but it was he who held her when everything was falling apart. "But we've had a fight. I blamed him for what happened at Stalask-12 and since then we haven't spoken anymore."
It was easy to see that they carried more pain than they could actually bear. Y/N lost her great love and the man lost his best friend. The situation just turned into a conflict between them and that was the result.
Realizing the sadness reflected in Y/N's eyes, Kat decided to change the subject of the conversation. Keeping that thought, she smiled and pointed to the painting on the wall. Maybe that could help.
"You seemed interested in this one."
"Oh yes, in my spare time I am a lover of art and its meanings. It is really attractive the way Ouroboros is connected to the Eternal Return..."
"And Amor Fati too." Kat completed, piquing Y/N's curiosity. This part was new to her. "It's impossible to affirm the Eternal Return without loving life. We need to learn that things happen as they do. Sometimes seemingly good. Sometimes seemingly bad. We don’t always get it our way... Unless we choose that whatever way it is, is our way. When we choose to Amor Fati, to love everything that happens, to love our fate, then we will always get it our way. Because the way it is, is the way it is. Unchangable. And therefore it must be good, even if it sucks."
These words touched Y/N's heart. This was a contradiction to what she is experiencing right now. Love your fate. She would like to understand and accept what happened, she really wanted, but why is it so difficult to move on?
Because Neil is dead.
That was the only explanation for her. The end of a relationship would be more acceptable. If he were alive, things would be completely different now. However, grief is overwhelming. How could she just accept what happened?
"I... I gotta go." That was all she managed to say before picking up her bag and leave the penthouse, ignoring Kat's protests.
When the elevator doors closed, an exhausted sigh left her mouth and the instant she saw her reflection in the mirror, Y/N wanted to cry again. After three months alone, she thought visiting her friend would be a good idea. Kat was willing to help, but the problem was that Y/N is not allowing herself to be helped. As soon as the doors opened, she left the metal box and found the hotel lobby partially empty. Her watch showed it was 3:13 AM, this explains the absence of people on the street as well. In front of her car, she searched the bag for the key and coincidentally her cell phone started to vibrate. Probably the text messages were from Kat, but confusion hit Y/N the instant she looked at the identifier and saw that the messages did not belong to any of her contacts.
Stay away from the car
They put a bomb
I'm on my way
Her first reaction was to take a few steps back and look around, trying to understand what’s going on and find the person responsible for these texts, but Y/N was alone in the dark street. When she thought it might be an unnecessary prank, a black SUV approached at high speed. The car stopped just a few meters away from where she was, but that was enough to make her body freeze.
"Y/N, come on!" The man exclaimed, the urgency in his voice would have made her run immediately, but she didn't move. Her feet had frozen on the floor. This cannot be real. "Come on, get in the car! We don't have much time!" He tried again, it was possible to hear the sound of the other cars approaching.
Y/N watched in slow motion the moment he left the car and ran towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"How is this possible?" She asked in a whisper, completely lost in his blue eyes.
"It's good to see you too." Neil admitted, feeling his heart race. She looked so fragile in his arms. Very different from the last time he saw her. "We have to go." He accompanied her to the car and as soon as Y/N took the passenger seat, he returned to his seat.
For her this moment was like a fever dream, so she just looked down and started counting her fingers. One, two, three, four, five... Neil noticed, but said nothing, just kept driving. The cars were fast approaching, but he would do everything possible and impossible to get Y/N away from these people.
"Give me your cell phone." He looked at her for a brief moment, but when Y/N didn’t react, he wasn't sure if she heard it, so he just took the phone from her hand and threw it out the window. That was enough to get her out of the numbness:
"What the fuck, Neil?!"
Despite the adrenaline rushing through his body, the man laughed.
"If I found you because of your cell phone, they can too." After that, he crossed the red light and made a risky turn, trying to end this chase. "Before you ask, no, this is not a dream. Unfortunately this is very real..." Neil didn't like what he saw when he adjusted the rearview mirror. "And now they are getting ready to shoot us."
That observation put Y/N on alert and she looked back, seeing a man with an AKS-74U and another with a Beretta M12.
"If you knew it wasn't a dream, why didn't you bring an armored car?" She ran her tongue between her lips, smiling at the man beside her. Neil tried to argue, but she just took off her seat belt and picked up the Glock 19 stuck in the vest he was wearing.
Y/N crawled out of the car and sat at the window opening. This encouraged the men in the two cars to start shooting, trying desperately to hit her. Neil shouted something that she couldn't understand and then she felt one of his hands on her thigh, giving her stability to continue with the plan. With her arm resting on the roof of the vehicle, Y/N aimed the gun at the car that was closest to them. Her intention was not to start a firefight in the middle of one of the main avenues in the city, but she had no other option. Holding her breath, she fired the first shot and the bullet hit the tire, taking the car out of circulation. Y/N celebrated while preparing for the second car, but dealing with this one was not an easy task. Now they were in a tunnel and, consequently, losing speed because of the other cars that came along the way. Neil left two pats on her leg, indicating that she had better get back in the car and that is what she did. Screams, honks and gunshots echoed through the tunnel, turning the place into a war zone. Whoever these men were, Y/N knew they weren't going to give up.
Tired of playing cat and mouse, she went to the back seat, getting on her knees. Through the broken glass above the trunk, Y/N adjusted the aim of her gun, ignoring the sniper and focusing on the driver. With another accurate shot, the bullet hit the man's chest and he lost control of the vehicle. The car overturned for a while, streaking the asphalt, but no other car was involved in the accident. Y/N sighed in relief and looked for another possible threat, just checking, but when she realized that the area was clean, she returned to the passenger seat, leaving the gun on the dashboard in front of her.
"Next time I'm going to get an armored car." Neil comments, stepping on the gas. "Nice shot, by the way."
"Anytime." Y/N smiled, trying to control her breathing.
With the adrenaline disappearing from her body, it was hard for her to believe that this was really happening. For many nights she cried, wondering what it would be like if Neil just came back to her, but now she was afraid to wake up and realize that it was just another vivid dream.
The sun was rising when they arrived in a shed away from the city. Seen from the outside, the place was a little scary, but the interior wasn't that bad. There was some equipment like trackers, walkie-talkie, bulletproof vests, weapons, ammunition; a table with a mess of papers and on the other side two beds and something that Y/N supposed to be a private bathroom.
"Where we are?"
We. That simple word echoed in her mind. Y/N thought that "we" didn't exist anymore.
"For now in a safe place. It's dangerous for you out there." He answered the question and took a bottle of water, handing it to her after taking a generous sip.
"Who are these people, Neil?" She wanted answers, lots of answers, and that frustrated the british spy because for the first time he didn't know what could happen.
Neil had a mission and that mission ended with him dying in Stalask-12, but after what TP did, everything changed.
"We have a name..." He wanted to say more, he wanted to reassure her, but that was all he had at the moment.
Y/N drank some water and left the bottle on the table, looking at some reports and photos. All photos were of the same man.
Lenard Vaher
"But apparently they don't just want you..."
It took a few seconds and when the realization hit Y/N, concern appeared on her face.
No, not him.
"Where's TP? He's safe, right?"
"He was going to see you when Lenard's men kidnapped him. This happened three weeks ago." And considering the anger in Neil's voice, finding TP was proving an almost impossible task, but in the midst of so much concern, one point attracted Y/N's attention.
"You said he was going to see me..."
"There was something he needed to tell you." Neil sighed, resting his hands on the table. A few strands of blond hair fell over his forehead, but he quickly shook his head back, as he always did. "He returned to Stalask-12, Y/N."
After that statement, the only sound that could be heard was Neil's footsteps closing the distance between them and the first thing she did was put her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. Neil smiled. And that was not one of his famous smiles. That was a shy smile. His heart was beating like a drum and it was all because of her. Loving Y/N was something so special and pure, that Neil accepted his fate without a second thought. Saving the world, he was giving her a second chance to live, but now he is the one who received a second chance.
"I missed you every day." Before she could begin to consider the meaning behind his words, he settled his mouth upon hers, robbing her of thought.
She closed her eyes and melted against him, flattening her hands on his arms. Neil caught her bottom lip in his teeth, nibbling and licking at it until she thought she might perish from the intensity of the feeling. She whimpered at the sensation, and he rewarded the sound by deepening the kiss, giving her everything she desired. His tongue stroked hers, slow and insistent. A lush, decadent pleasure unfolded within them, snaking through their veins as though it had lain coiled in anticipation for years.
Just waiting for this moment.
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a/n – really hope you enjoy it and thank you soooo much for reading ;)
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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years
Text
Whumptober Day 29: Emergency Room
CW: Medical whump, sick whumpee, hospital whump, brief references to past child abuse and resulting traumatic association
Immediately follows Infection and Disorientation
Chris wakes up in the middle of a sentence.
Or rather, when his brain switches back on and he is conscious on a level he can participate in, he’s already talking, and the first thing he is aware of is a woman’s face, brown-skinned and with a slightly dry smile, watching him as he is saying, “-and, and, and then I saw, um, saw towels and the, the, the colors were all wrong, so, so I fixed them.”
“Oh, did you,” The woman replies, and there is a guarded kindness in her. “That was very kind of you.” He blinks at her, his vision slowly coming into focus. Chris takes a deep breath only to wince as a hazy sort of pain ripples up his right side. She leans over, a little closer. Her hair, black and full of tightly-wound curls slips over her shoulders and forwards, just brushing her cheeks. “Are you back with us? Don’t breathe so deep yet, okay?” She tilts her head, putting a hand up to push some hair back from his face. Jake does that sometimes, and Chris turns his head to encourage the affection, closing his eyes again.
Eyes closed feels better. 
In the clinic they’re always kinder to trainees, if still brusque, businesslike, getting them in and out with bandages applied, fevers broken, internal injuries healed with rest and whatever drips down the IV to make them sleep when they have done nothing but beg for sleep since they lost themselves to the Drip.
The nurses are nicer than the handlers, and this one is talking to him and touching him but only where he wants her to, and that makes her the nicest of all.
The way the world is spinning begins to settle when his eyes are closed and she lays her hand briefly against the side of his face, and he breathes a little more easily. He must not be in trouble, if she’s allowed to be so nice.
There’s something beeping nearby, and he doesn’t like the flat white light coming from the fluorescents in the ceiling laying on exposed skin - he can feel its weight on his arms where they lay on top of the scratchy rough blanket - but at least it isn’t a cold light. 
He shivers, opening his eyes to look down at himself, blinking. There are blankets pulled up to just under his arms, pale blue and sort of rough and soft, both at once, pilling so badly he can pick the little balls of fabric off bit by bit with one hand. Normally trainees don’t get blankets in the clinic, they’re supposed to freeze here, too.
He must have been very good but hurt anyway. Sometimes the handlers just want to hurt you, even when you’re good, because your tears are beautiful, too.
Besides, 499, you wanted this - you signed up so we would make you cry, right? Give me your arm, a little half-dose of purple should get you nice and worked up for us.
He tries to obey, rolling his left arm slowly over to expose the marked-up space at the inside of his left elbow - bandages wrapped around his left wrist over his barcode crinkling - and then realizes something is on - is in - his left arm. There’s… there’s a needle in his arm already, with a thin tube that runs up to a stand on wheels with multiple bags hooked onto it, and he thinks there’s something down below his waist, too. A catheter. 
He’s been bad, then. There’s only one reason to have a needle in his elbow and a catheter in, but when he tries to panic, he’s… he’s too tired, and too dizzy, and too foggy, to feel very scared at all. Even if they are going to take him away again, it’s too late. The Drip is already in his veins and there he goes, all of him, wiped clean all over again.
The soft throb of pain along his right side, wrapped up in the gentle blanket that covers his mind, makes it clear he’s not going anywhere very fast, not today. The handlers will have to leave him alone, and that’s good, but if he’s here and on the Drip, it means he’s back again.
Back in the Facility, here to be wiped, refurbished, and sent back to Sir or to someone new… and there’s nothing he can do to stop it.
He feels his throat closing against helplessness - no, he was rescued, he was rescued and they said he’d never go back… they swore, they promised, Jake and Nat promised they wouldn’t let him go back, Jake would have fought them, he would have done something-
Tears flood Chris’s eyes and he hitches in a breath on a whimper. Jake must have gotten too hurt to save him. He must have, he might even be dead-
If it weren’t for you, she’d still be alive-
“Hey, hey, come on now.” The soft female voice is closer now, and her hand is back on his face, up to run back through his hair as he sniffles, coughs, winces as the dull pain sharpens briefly and then fades again. “It’s okay, you’re okay. It’s just the hospital, yeah? Your appendix ruptured, you had to come here in an ambulance, had some pretty serious surgery. Can you remember that?”
His eyes manage to open, blurred through his tears, and he looks at her. She’s not wearing the uniforms that handlers or even the nurses wear, but a softly floral scrub top and plain navy pants. Her smile is different than any nurse’s in the clinic that he’s ever seen. She’s looking at him, not through him. 
“I d-don’t know where, where, where I am,” He whispers, and she nods, her smile still in place.
“I know. That’s why I’m the one sitting here with you right now. You’re in the county hospital. You’re okay, Chris.”
Not 223499, but Chris.
He reaches back into his own mind and finds the train track that Jake and Nat are on, remembers their faces, their names, the way it feels when they hold him. He brings up the memory of Jake pulling his shirt off, handing it to Chris, whispering, I’ll come back, I promise.
He remembers Jake carrying him up the stairs three days later.
Chris holds, for a moment, the memory of Jake looking at him as they loaded him onto the plastic-backed bed-thing in the ambulance. He can remember, clearly, Jake's voice. We’ll be right behind you, Chris. I swear to God I’ll be there. I promise you, buddy, we’ll bring you back home.
He’s awake.
Jake isn’t here.
“Um, J-Jake, my, my… my…” Chris shakes his head, like a dog shaking off water. What had Nat been saying, before the ambulance came? Talking to Jake, the two of them, going over their story. His name is Christopher Stanton. He’s my little brother, and he’s autistic. “My, my, my my my brother, my-... he p-promised, where’s-... need my, my, my brother-”
“I texted Yoder when you started talking,” The woman says gently. “They’ll be up to see you in just a minute, okay?”
He tries to believe her.
There’s a fog in his thoughts and the trains are all running, but slow, finding their way, winding around the gray clouds in his head. “I, I was talking already,” Chris whispers. “Even… though I wasn’t, um, awake.”
His throat feels a little scratchy and rough, like someone shoved something down there, but the agonizing pain he’d been in - the sharp ache that had been a knife shredding him to nothing again and again and again - is gone. In its place there’s a duller throb, and the sense of floating inside a very nice fog. Like the fog he hates, but… better, somehow, too.
“I was… was asleep, and now… ‘m talking, but, but I was still, um, asleep, and… and and and… and talking…”
“Yes, that happens. It’s coming out of sedation, you kind of wake up before you really wake up, you know? I’ve done this before, and you know, I had someone once who… came back to himself in the middle of telling me about a margarita recipe he used to make for his girlfriend. He didn’t remember it any longer when he was awake. That’s the fun of recovery, I hear all kinds of things when I’m with someone. My wife proposed to me in recovery from her own surgery, you know. She doesn’t remember it at all.”
“You… you you you said yes?” Chris looks back at her. He can focus his eyes again, and the look of her is nice. Soft, but like she’s had to be hard before. Like Nat looks, sometimes, only Nat doesn’t have a wife, or anyone at all but… but Jake, just like everyone else has Jake to help. 
He moves his right hand, gingerly - he can feel the thick bandage wrapped around his left, and is never less than terribly aware of the needle in his elbow - and she takes it in both of hers. 
Her hands are cool, and dry. He smiles, faintly, and lets his head fall back against a flat pillow behind him. There’s a window to his left, three panes of glass, and outside, when he turns his head, he can see some trees, a courtyard. Birds hopping around the branches, but he can’t quite see what kind they are.
The woman squeezes his hand lightly. Chris takes a breath. This isn’t the clinic, because there are no windows at WRU. You’re never allowed to see outside, not until your owner is ready for you, not until you are good enough to go home.
Going outside is a privilege a pet has to earn.
This… this must be what an actual hospital looks like. He’s seen them on TV, sometimes. The TV ones didn’t really look much like this.
The woman keeps his hand in one of hers and uses the other to check her phone. “Oh, I made her ask again when she was all the way conscious, but yes.”
“That’s, that’s that’s nice. I’m Chris.” His voice is low, and shy, and he doesn’t see her nod - he doesn’t want to stop looking out the window at the clear morning sky - but he can kind of feel it, anyway.
“I know, sweetheart. Your family will be here any second, but they wanted you to have someone when you woke up, so I’m kind of sitting in for them for a bit. Don’t worry, they’re on their way.”
“Jake-”
“Yes, I’m told there’s a man named Jake and, you know, I know Yoder pretty well by now.”
“Why… why, why why why do y’call… Nat? Yoder?”
“Hm? Oh, I don’t know. Just always have. Used to be we weren’t allowed to know each other’s first names, so I guess the habit stuck. How are you feeling?”
“Um. Weird. Am, am, am I… give m’drugs?” Fear hits, again, but it’s faded, a shadow of itself. He shifts his left arm and feels tape pull against the skin inside his elbow, looks at the tubing that runs from the needle up to a bag hanging on a metal stand. There’s a machine, too, that shows numbers he doesn’t understand. His eyebrows furrow. “Was I… bad?”
“No, sweetie, no. No. You just had to have surgery, and you have to be knocked out for that.” The woman pats his hand again, and Chris tries to relax himself. There’s a window, and if there’s a window, he’s not going back. He recites the differences like an incantation. Like a chant. Like a prayer, to keep him safe, as long as he does everything just right.
There’s a window, and so he can’t be going back. He can see outside, the sky and the sun, and so he’s not going back. There’s kindness here, compassion and warmth, and so he isn’t going back. His wrists and ankles aren’t strapped down to the bed, so he’s not going back. Her hand holds his but it doesn’t touch him anywhere he doesn’t want, so he’s not going back. “Do you know what an appendix is, Christopher?”
Chris looks back at her. She has a nice face, and warm eyes, and calls him a name and not a number, so he’s not going back.
He can remember Jake, so he’s not going back.
Jake will come find him, and he’s not going back.
“No, ma’am,” He says, softly.
She laughs, and he likes the sound of her laughing, shaking her head, her curls moving with her. “Not a ma’am, thanks. I appreciate the politeness, though. I just don’t like being ‘ma’am’d, I’m not quite that old yet, now am I?”
“Where… where, where where where Jake is from, you c-call… everybody sir or, or ma’am, if you’re… if you’re raised right.” He tries to put the hint of sarcasm, dry and cynical, that Jake always has when he says it, but it doesn’t work for him. He can tell it doesn’t quite sound the same. He is floating, in this warmly lit room, watching the sky change from grayish-pink to purplish and finally to a pale blue, going cooler and deeper at the top.
The sun is rising, warm, to wash away the cold light.
“Well, that’s not where I’m from. In any case, your appendix is this little doohickey right there along your right side, and yours got infected. So Yoder-... well, Nat, I guess - called a mutual friend of ours-”
“Am-... ambulance,” Chris whispers, thinking of the two people, moving around him. His memories are faded and terrified and full of pain, but he thinks of the gloved hand on his shoulder, the hint of a brusque, calm reassurance, cool focused expression and clear brown eyes. “Finn.”
“Right. That’d be my friend. Then you weren’t feeling super great when we got you here, your appendix burst and you sure gave Mandela a job to do cleaning out that infection, huh? Finn stuck around to help out with that, they trained as an Army medic. Did they tell you that?”
Chris just blinks at her, and slowly shakes his head.
“Yeah, way back. Signed up right out of high school, dealt with some scary shit when things got tense at the Canadian border when Canada started taking runaways… anyway, they’re good in a pinch, but so am I, I guess.” She shrugs. “We can’t trust everybody, so… they helped us get you stable, and then we got you in and out of that OR. Just between us, though? Can you keep a secret?”
Chris blinks twice, then slowly nods.
“Good. Just between us, I think they stuck around because they took a shine to you. Anyway, now you’re hooked up-... let’s see, they said you wouldn’t like the IVs, so let me tell you, it’s something for your pain and a literal ton of antibiotics, that’s all.”
“An, antibiotics-... for the, um, the the infection?”
“Right. That’s all it is, I promise, antibiotics and something to make sure your incision doesn’t hurt too badly. Mandela knows her work, you should be able to leave in the next few days. Mandela’s kind of an arrogant blowhard, but she’s also maybe the second-best surgeon I’ve ever met and she’s, you know, safe… for you. Lucky for us she was meeting someone at that Starbucks across from the hospital, huh?” 
“... lucky, lucky for us,” Chris repeats, just to show he’s listening, but he doesn’t quite understand what he’s being told. He could, he thinks, if he could just wake all the way up, but the hint of fog makes the connections a little more difficult, more of a struggle. “Um, can, can I, can I ask-... are you… Tori?”
The woman blinks, and then laughs again, and Chris smiles faintly in return. He wants her to laugh again and again, it’s a nice laugh, it changes the light inside the hospital room when she laughs like that. Makes it brighter, more like sunshine and less like a cold white room with a door he can’t open.
He wonders if her wife makes her laugh.
“Oh, Finn got chatty in the ambulance, hm? Well-”
There are footsteps, and the woman turns before she can answer his question.
“Let’s see… 210, 212… 214… here it is, 216, this should be it. Jake, damn it, knock first-”
The door opens with a hard jerk of the knob, and Chris looks to the doorway. He knows the bit of blond hair before he sees the face it belongs to. The fog inside his head is familiar, but it hasn’t taken anything away from him. 
They didn’t take Jake away.
He lets go of the woman and a smile stretches across his face. The throb of pain is gone, it can’t hold together under the weight of the warmth inside him. “Jake!”
Jake moves through the doorway, eyes on Chris, the bright blue focused and intense, shadowed from lack of sleep. His hair mussed, and he’s still wearing the clothing Chris saw him in last, rumpled. He drops a backpack on the floor as he moves, and he doesn’t even seem to realize he’s done it. Nat appears behind him, her braid half-undone, circles under her eyes dug in even more deeply than the ones under Jake’s.
Jake leans over him, one knee up on the bed. “Hey, buddy.”
“Hi, hi, hi, um, hi-... h-hi, Jake.” He holds out one hand. “Um, can you, could, could you please-”
“Oh, Christ, be careful, he just had surgery!” 
The woman’s warning is lost, because Jake is already hugging him. 
Warm, strong arms around him, and he tucks his head right under Jake’s chin and breathes in the familiar smell of him, deodorant and cologne and the laundry-smell from his shirt, the skin-smell of Jake underneath all of it. The simplest way to anchor himself, the greatest certainty he has that he isn’t going back, because Jake is here, and Jake would never let anyone take him away, not ever again.
“There were people having a fucking pizza party in the ER waiting area while you were in surgery, I thought I’d kill them with my bare hands if I had to listen to it any longer. Who the fuck orders fucking delivery pizza at the ER?” Jake’s voice is cracking, and Chris hums, twisting his right hand into Jake’s shirt, twist-and-release, then finger-twist-tap-tap-tap, and it’s solid and real and the sun is so pretty outside the window.
“Sorry I, I, I, I didn’t tell you I was, um, was sick,” Chris whispers.
“Sorry I didn’t know without you having to tell me,” Jake whispers back. “I hate hospitals, little man, you have no idea how much I hate having to tell lies in a hospital again. Fuck, I hate hospitals so fucking much.”
“Me, me, me me me, me too, but, um, but it’s okay with you here. It’s okay. It’s, it’s not-”
“It’s not the same,” Jake says softly. 
“Right. Not, not, not the same. I’m, I’m, I’m not, not, not, um, not going… going back.”
“Never, Chris. Not ever. Letting you go in that ambulance without me is the second-hardest thing I’ve ever fucking done,” Jake whispers, and tears build in Chris’s eyes as he buries himself against Jake’s neck, his hands making short, jerky little flapping motions as he struggles to keep the feelings inside him from overwhelming his ability to speak.
“What, what, what was, was the hardest?”
“What?”
“What’s, um, what’s… what’s the, the, the… the-the hardest thing? You’ve, you’ve ever, um… ever done?"
Jake’s breath hitches, and there are tears in his voice as he holds on tight. “Sitting in fucking limbo knowing I couldn’t be the one to help you.”
Chris swallows back a twist inside his heart. “Y-yeah?”
“Yeah, just… having to be stuck outside while someone else did all that shit that it feels like I’m supposed to do.”
There’s a sudden rustle at the window, and Chris turns his head just enough to see a flutter of red wings disappear down towards the courtyard below.
---
Tori belongs to @whump-tr0pes and is used with permission and great love
Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @slaintetowhump , @astrobly, @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @oops-its-whump @moose-teeth , @cubeswhump , @cupcakes-and-pain @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary
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spyoikawa · 4 years
Note
Peonies for Goshiki Tsutomu, you can write the confession however you please.
@2-player-game yay, another new character! Thank you for this request!
Also, I would figure people would know this seeing its goshiki, but just in case, ⚠️spoiler warning for the karasuno vs shiratorizawa game⚠️
Rion's Flower Shop: Peonies
(Goshiki Tsutomu)
♡romantic♡
Goshiki was REALLY clueless when it came to having a crush. And it didn't help that all his senpais had different ideas on how to woo a person.
"Do it in the spring with cherry blossoms, I see that in manga a lot!" -tendou
"Try writing a song or poem, thats something they can treasure forever, and its made just for them" -semi
"Just tell them, the worst that can happen is a rejection" -shirabu
He wasn't sure who's advice to take, so he ended up pushing it away for a while. He had to focus more on his volleyball matches anyways.
But thats harder to do than he thought, seeing how you never failed to miss a match.
Everytime he looked up, he could see you in the audience, watching the match as intently as possible. And if he was completely honest with himself, thats where it started. When he sees you watching the ball, and the players, and the court with a passion and support for your school.
And it was after one of these games, that goshiki spoke to you for the first time. Or rather, you spoke to him.
"Hey!" You piped up, "Goshiki!"
He nearly dropped all his stuff right then and there, and it took everything the team had not to laugh at him.
"Y/N! I mean- y/n, did you need something?" He stammered out
You grinned, happy to see he was willing to talk with you. "Yeah! I just wanted to let you know, you did great back there! The line-shot was incredible, and you looked so confident, like you knew you were gonna hit it no matter what! It was amazing!"
*goshiki.exe has stopped working*
Well what does he say now?! His crush is right in front of him, and they just complimented his play-
"You could be the ace someday!" You interrupted his thoughts.
That's it. Nope. Goshiki was a goner.
"Give me one second" he silently said to you, before whipping around, dragging his teammates around the corner. Everyone was a little confused at this.
"Um... goshiki...? You alright there?" Semi asked, "you look pale and red at the same time, I dont think that's norma-"
"WHAT DO I DO" he cut through his senpai's sentence, "I dont know what to do- I mean I know I could just tell them, but that seems to basic doesn't it?"
Shirabu rolled his eyes at this, "dude. Just do it. Or don't, if you dont feel like doing it, then say 'thanks for the compliment yada yada' move on and leave, not that hard"
Goshiki sucked in a breath, knowing he was right. "Okok, I got this"
He walked around the corner, facing you again.
You tilted your head a bit, "you ok? You look pale and red at the same time? You don't have a fever right?"
*cue muffled laughter of tendou and semi*
"I'm 100% a-ok, I am good, thank you for the compliment, and thank you for coming to our games, have a good day" he stated before walking away, leaving you to stare in confusion.
And now comes the hardest part for the both of you. The avoidance.
He really didn't want to go through that experience again, speaking to you, he felt like his heart would leap out of his throat and he doesn't want to be caught like that.
His solution? Don't speak to you for months. It was rough, seeing you enjoyed chatting with him about random things and volleyball. And it was rough on him to have to avoid you, simply because he didn't know how to handle this sort of thing. And he went all out to make sure you didn't cross paths. He would do a full 180 in the hallways, even if he was talking with someone else or his class was in the other direction, after practice he would clean up at speeds that freaked out the team, and did his extra practice someplace else, knowing that you come to the gym after school.
Time passed, and soon came the next game, against karasuno.
It was rough on everyone, the team fought so hard, only to be swept down by the new team who came to the top out of nowhere. It was crushing to everyone, the 3rd years played their last game and they were so confident in winning.
Goshiki was by himself, packing his stuff before you came up behind him.
"Goshiki?" You quietly asked.
He jumped slightly at this, and panic flooded his senses when he realized you were here.
"Y/n- what are you doing here? The game ended ages ago, why didn't you go already?"
He was nervous, but he'd be damned if he showed it.
"I wanted to speak with you," you started, "I'm really sorry about the game, I know you were excited and ready for it"
He sucked in a breath, not ready for the pep talk that would allow the fact that they lost to really settle in.
You continued, not noticing, "and the thing is, you did your absolute best, so it doesn't matter! Because I know that despite the outcome of the game, you are the better volleyball player, and- wait are you ok?"
You had paused when you realized he was looking up at you. And before you knew it, he was hugging you.
"Please stop," he barely whispered, "please don't say that. Just let me have this and it can be said without you speaking"
You loosened your body, releasing the initial tension that took you when he embraced you.
"Right sorry, I'll be quiet now" you whispered.
After what felt like ages, he released you and wordlessly gathered his stuff. You walked beside him in comple silence to the bus stop.
"Hey... ive gathered my thoughts now" he mumbled, voice raw from the earlier game, where he had used so much breath and yelling.
You looked up in curiosity, "what are you talking about?"
He inhaled sharply.
"Im sorry for avoiding you for a while, and I'm sorry for telling you to stop talking earlier. I was upset. I was so focused on volleyball and what would happen, but the season's over now. So I guess I can say it now"
The bus he would take pulled up, interrupting him for a second, opening the door.
"I like you, and I wasn't sure what to do"
And with that he pecked you on the cheek, and walked into the bus without another word. Leaving you stunned.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
*across the road*
"👁👄👁"
"👁👄👁"
"👁👄👁"
"😐"
"D-did he really just do that?" Tendou stammered out in confusion.
"I guess so...?!" Semi's eyes were wide open, watching your shocked figure, still frozen at the stop after the bus had left.
"At least he did it. Horribly. But he did it" Shirabu sighed, "what do you think senpai?"
Ushijima looked over, realizing he was being addressed, before shrugging.
"Im glad he did what I told him to do" he stated simply before walking away.
"WHAT-"
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I'm sorry if this was bad, I'm really not familiar with goshiki, but it was still fun to write! If you want me to try again, let me know and I will fix it!
God I really feel like I messed up sorry-
But still, thank you again for the request, it let's me try new things! And to those of you who aren't aware, this is a part of my event, so go check it out please!
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hongism · 4 years
Text
mists of celeste ➻ three
➻ pairing: ??? x fem reader ➻ genre: space au, pirate au, space pirate!ateez, angst, eventual smut ➻ Word Count: 4.1k ➻ Rating: M ➻ Warnings: language, violence, guns and weaponry, blood, future warnings tba ➻ summary: Sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you
⇐ previous | next ⇒
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mists of celeste act one ➻ part three
"First order of business," Yunho starts as he gets up from his stool. "I need to run some basic scans on your arm to gauge the injury and infection. Then a full-body scan to see how far the infection has spread. How long have you had the injury?" He moves around the bed you're placed on with quick steps, a tablet in hand.
"Th-Three days," you stammer, watching him work. Spectre cuts in, and you almost forgot he was standing nearby with a brown belt in hand.
"Four days. Today is the fifth," he says. Yunho glances over at him, eyes wide in question.
"How do you know…?"
"She was on the bridge of the HMS Revenge. Considering that Hongjoong destroyed the ship four days ago, this is the only logical explanation." Spectre motions towards you with his head. "I noticed her on the second day, to be honest. I only wanted to see how long it would take for her to reveal herself. Until I saw the blood trails, at least."
"Ah yes, that makes sense." Yunho nods before bringing his tablet to hover over your arm. Blue light emits from the bottom of it, a faint stream of light that cascades over your bare skin.
Now that your military uniform has been stripped, you can see the injury better, although you don't particularly want to see it. It's bruised black and blue, blood all around the hole that is shiny and fresh. It oozes a bit still, although the liquid is not all red, and you're certain that it's the infection mixed in as well. Not something you would like to look at but the blue rays coming from Yunho's tablet are quite fascinating to watch as they dance over your arm. You don't feel the touch of the light; you can only see it as it moves as though on its own accord. Sure you've had injuries time and time again, but the treatment methods for them were never like this. No fancy tablets with strange lights. Although the military has always had a more traditional approach to everything they do.
"Hm. The bullet is in there pretty deep, huh? It… uh, it's in an awkward spot. The bullet tore right through your brachialis muscle along with a bit of your bicep. Moreso, the nerves all around the path of the bullet itself seem to be a bit fried? I doubt that makes any sense to you, but in layman's terms: two muscles have critical damage, and that's not something we can immediately fix. I can remove the bullet with an emergency operation to cut the arm open and take it out, which is the best course of action. The nerves can be… I'm not sure how to say this in a way that will make sense to you. Hm, well. The nerves can reconstruct themselves over time. When I do the surgery, I can help them along a little bit but I don't think it's needed. Nerves try to repair themselves by shrinking back and resting for a period of time. After the rest period, they grow back as they were. Muscles can do the same sort of thing but not in cases of extreme trauma. A muscle damaged in extreme trauma creates these gaps that are too large to fill on their own so scar tissue forms in the gaps as a way to compensate. Does that all make sense?"
"I have an infection-induced fever," you state. "I don't understand anything you're saying." Yunho raises his brows.
"I'll take that as a no." Yunho lifts the tablet higher and drags it through the air above your head all the way down to your feet. The blue rays conform to your body as they move, widening and contracting with the folds of your clothes. "San, could you do me another favor? I need you to go get Woo so I can have an assistant to run the operation."
"No, no, I can do it," Spectre answers with haste. His eyes dart between you and Yunho. "Woo won't be necessary. I can help you." Yunho stands up straight, pulling the tablet back to his chest one the light retracts from your body, and stares at San. He looks ready to argue about the topic but never opens his mouth to retort. Instead, he releases a deep sigh: a sign of relenting. San's lips quirk upwards into a small smile of victory.
"Fine. Get the anesthesia injection, a scalpel, tweezers, and gauze." Spectre turns away from the bed upon hearing the command. You watch him walk out the corner of your eye, thinking over Yunho's words.
"Anesthesia?" You repeat. "I thought you said you didn't want to use anesthesia on me."
"I didn't want to. But that was before I ran the scans and saw the extent of the damage to your muscle. I'm not getting this bullet out without trouble, so numbing it is pretty much the only comfort I can give you." 
"Wait San – the belt. I need it." San passes said object to Yunho by tossing it across the bed. Yunho folds it in half. "Here, you're going to want to bite down on this." He holds it out to you, and you take it between your teeth, glancing up at Yunho as you do. He then reaches around you to pick up the bottle of vodka from his table. "Please – well, please try not to jerk your arm while I do this."
Yunho grips your arm at the elbow, a small effort to keep you steady as he tips the bottle towards your wound. You clench your teeth around the leather belt before the alcohol even touches your skin. Anticipating the worst helps quite a bit, in fact, because the second the first drop of alcohol lands on the wound, you're screaming around the belt. If not for the death grip Yunho has on your elbow, you would be thrashing. It's the worst pain you've ever experienced. Far worse than being shot, far worse than burns or frostbite, hell even getting shot by a laser hurts less than the pain you're in at the moment. Yunho keeps the steady stream of alcohol going, flushing the wound out. The mix of blood, infection, and alcohol is causing a grotesque foaming mixture that drips from your arm to Yunho's hand and onto the bed.
"Hang in there, I'm almost done," Yunho mutters, voice barely audible behind your muffled screams. He continues pouring alcohol over the wound until it runs clear but the pain doesn't let up even after he stops. "See, that wasn't too bad!"
His cheery tone and optimism only make you want to punch him in the nose. Luckily for him, your punching arm is out of order at the moment and you're in so much pain that you can barely feel the limb. All you can do is spit the belt out. Yunho catches it before it hits your lap. He inspects the leather, a small laugh escaping his lips as he sees the indentations of your teeth along the belt. You all but bit through the leather on both sides.
"I hope you didn't like this belt too much, San," he calls to the man who stands on the other side of your bed. He's gathered the materials that Yunho asked for, all piled up with the other stack that Yunho already had.
"Oh, I didn't. Captain did though."
"You took this from Hongjoong?" Yunho asks, voice rising as he gapes at the other man. He grins like a Cheshire in response. "On god San, you're fucked if he finds out."
"That's why he won't find out. Can't miss something you forgot you had."
"That's not the way h—"
"Anyways." San passes the shot of anesthesia over to Yunho, interrupting his train of thought.
"Yea, yea. We need to work fast to get the anesthesia in so there's enough time for it to kick in and wear off before the 47 hours are up." Yunho takes the shot in one hand, his other hand squeezing around your elbow. He pokes at the skin a few times then presses so hard that you release a loud noise from the sudden pain. The needle enters your arm so quickly that you barely feel the pressure. Warmth is the only thing you feel for a moment, a cozy yet uncomfortable sensation that spreads down to your fingertips and all the way up your arm. "Okay, we'll need to give you a bit of time now. The anesthesia will take a bit to kick in, so in the meantime, I need to run an IV drip for dehydration. Just for putting some fluids back into your body that you've lost through all the sweating and vomiting. Not to mention you probably haven't had a lot of water in the past few days. I'll also do a drip later for narcotic painkillers once the anesthesia begins to wear off. Okay? All standard protocol for an operation like this, I promise."
"Let's just get it over with," you murmur back. He frowns at you, a small "okay" leaving his lips before he continues his work on you. 
The combination of your fever and the pain is bringing a piercing headache. You don't notice that Yunho moves around the bed until his hand reaches for your left arm. You yank it away as though burned. His eyes go wide at the forcefulness behind your action. A moment later though, he tries again, fingers closing around your wrist. You try to tug away but his grip is a bit too powerful this time and you fail to release your arm from his grasp.
"I need your uninjured arm for the IV. There's too much damage on your right arm to get these fluids into your bloodstream."
"Use my right arm or no arm at all," you hiss back. Your fingers clench into a tight fist, knuckles going white from the pressure.
"I already saw it," Yunho whispers. There is no point in whispering, as the room is silent aside from his voice, so San can hear the words as well. Still, you freeze. The tension leaves your arm and you let it fall limp in Yunho's grasp. "I'm sorry. I saw it when we were getting the uniform jacket off."
"Whatever," you say, looking away from the man. The plain, white wall before you is suddenly much more interesting. Despite the length of time that has passed since you received the brand, the memory always remains fresh. The sensation of searing hot metal being pressed against the inside of your wrist, the pain that resonated through your whole body, and the feeling of five pairs of eyes glued to you as you received the brand. It's all too real and present in your mind. Just the thought of someone seeing the brand is enough to send you headfirst into those memories.
"How… how did you get it?" The healer inquires. His voice is quiet again, no doubt hesitant and uncertain about asking the question. You barely feel the next needle that enters your arm.
"That's none of your business," you respond without looking his way.
"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry for intruding. I'm just – just trying to make conversation to distract you from the pain."
"Well, talk about something else. Not my past."
"Understood." You catch sight of Yunho's small smirk out the corner of your eye. Despite your confusion, you decide against asking him about it and wait for him to contain what he's doing instead. He places small round patches on various points around your chest, deft fingers dipping under the fabric and back out without you even feeling it. "These are just for keeping an eye on your heart rate. It's good I checked too because your heart rate is awfully slow. Could be due to the infection or your body is trying to conserve. Normally I only see it this low if the patient is asleep though."
"Need anything else?" San asks. He steps forward, hands coming to rest on the foot of the bed.
"Not right now. I think we're – wait. Wait." The level of panic in Yunho's voice does not comfort you one bit. Especially when Spectre's face shares the same level of concern. "Something isn't right." Yunho swipes furiously at his tablet, fingers moving so quickly over the screen that you can't tell what he's trying to do. "She was shot in the arm… outer arm with no exit wound, the bullet still present in the brachialis muscle right against the humerus. Why does she have pneumothorax too?"
"English please?" San asks.
"Punctured lung. It's a punctured lung that could collapse at any minute. Yours looks to be a pinhole, meaning it's small and acute. You should recover just fine without any treatment if you were a healthy adult but there's a serious infection running through your blood and that means it could cause complications if not treated. More importantly, I can't do an emergency operation like this if your lungs aren't fully functional. I'd need to put you on an oxygen mask just on the off chance that your lung collapses during the surgery but a one percent chance is still a chance."
"What caused it? I haven't noticed anything." You try to sit up a bit to look at Yunho's tablet but he pulls it away before you have the chance.
"It depends on all sorts of factors. Do you know how long you've had a lung problem?"
"I didn't even know I had a lung problem," you retort.
"She's been on the ship four days, Yunho."
"Okay, okay. We can worry about that in a bit. I need to get the IV drip in now." You glance forward as Yunho approaches your arm with another long needle. San is blocking your line of sight. He doesn't look back at you; instead, his eyes are fixated on your arm, rather your wrist where the chain brand resides. Subconsciously, you turn your wrist away only to have Yunho resituate it again as he inserts the long needle.
"You're looking pretty pale again," San comments. You take a deep breath but find yourself unable to respond. All the white in the room begins to blur together. All the strength left in your body is ebbing away. "Yunho, she's looking pretty fucking pale!" The man's voice climbs in volume as his form blurs into nothingness. Yunho keeps working on your IV, securing the catheter and tubes with a piece of tape.
"Shit, hey. Hey. Hey, stay awake." Yunho reaches over, patting your face with his palm. You push him away with a weak shove as a wave of coughs overwhelms you.
"Is this normal? What do you need? What's wrong with her? What do we do?" San rambles. Yunho rubs at the skin between his brows as San speaks.
"Shut the fuck up, San. If Woo were here, he would know what to fucking do since he helps me ninety percent of the time." San leans forward, smacks Yunho's hands away from his face, and grabs hold of his collar.
"If you don't want my help, then you're on your own," San hisses as he yanks Yunho forward. A weak laugh escapes your lips.
"Do you all fight this often or am I just special?"
Yunho sighs at your half-hearted jab and pushes San off him. He reaches for his ear, beginning to speak again but this time it's not directed at San.
"Wooyoung to the med bay for emergency operation assistance." The moment his hand leaves his ear, San is back in his face.
"Call it off!" He yells. Yunho deflects San's anger with a surprising sense of calm.
"I'm not letting a girl die simply because you don't want him to be seen. The fact of the matter is you don't know what the hell you're doing so you're of no use to me."
"Your damn savior complex is going to be the end of everyone on this ship."
"Then we were doomed the minute I set foot on the ship. Wooyoung is the only one who knows how to help me conduct emergency operations and laser surgeries. You need to fuck off and let me do my damn job. It's my job to save people, no matter the cost. Yours is only to kill them. So, why don't you listen closely and hear the wheeze in her breaths? The sweat on her forehead? The residue from her arm? If I don't get to work quickly, then you'll have a body to haul out. Do you want to be responsible for her death?"
At those words, San stands down. He leans back and stands up straight ahead, the fury dropping from his features as he moves. He turns away from the bed but something in you causes you to lunge forward with a sudden bout of strength and catch his wrist. He glances down at you with widened eyes.
"Thank you… for – for saving my life." San's gaze softens. A smile almost crosses his lips but he stops it before it can show too much.
"I did nothing except prolong the inevitable," comes his response. The words are spoken in a cold and emotionless tone, much different from the tone he used with you previously, but you no longer have the strength to even think straight. Your hand falls away from San's wrist as you fall back against the bed. Yunho lets San leave the med bay without exchanging further words with him.
Instead, the healer finishes connecting all the IV tubes and fluid bags.
"You're probably going to pass out," he mutters, bending over you and resting his palm against your forehead. "We'll try our best to work quickly and keep you under during the operation, okay?" You can only nod against the pressure of his hand. He eases you further into the bed and makes sure you're flat against the mattress. The action is like the magic touch for you to fall unconscious. Before your vision goes completely black, you see a new form enter the med bay, one with tanned skin and hair that looks like coal and ash. You don't have the chance to look over the rest of his form before the darkness overtakes you.
✦          ✦          ✦
Waking up again takes far too much effort. Your whole body feels as though it's made of pure lead, and you can't even open your eyes easily. You can't recall what happened before you fell asleep or where you are; the confusion only grows further when you're finally able to crack your eyes open.
White. The color is all you see for a few moments before your vision clears up some. The brightness of your surroundings blinds you. You shift and push your head to the left. Wires and tubes are all around you, two lead to your arm and another to your face. You try to feel around but you aren't able to; the strength hasn't completely returned to your body. All you can do is move your head from side to side for the time being. You check your other arm. There's a large white bandage wrapped around your bicep and you can't recall what's underneath it.
The clink of metal distracts you. It resounds from somewhere in front of you, and as you twist to look in that direction. A man with tan skin stands near a sink. You peer at him. Something about his figure seems familiar but you can't place it. Seeing him brings reality back to you, however, and you recall how you got here, a Cheshire cat finding you in a crate, the gentle giant healer who helped you.
"Wh-Where am – where am I?" You stammer out, voice cracking and hoarse as you try to talk. The man jumps at the sound of your voice. He drops what he's doing and turns towards you, eyes wide and curious as he looks over at you. Now that you're more awake, you can see more clearly and get a better look at the person with you. Besides the caramel tan, he bears dark hair that's almost black but not quite. The color is more between silver and grey but the color of his hair is the least interesting thing about him. There is a metal collar around his neck, a thick block that stands out against his skin, and you peer at it in curiosity. A collar? I don't… You don't have time to look at him, however, because he's rushing towards you a second later.
"Oh, you're awake!" He chirps as he comes closer to your bedside. "You're aboard The Horizon, ship belonging to Captain Kim Hongjoong. I'm not sure whether you remember it, but you were awake for a little while before the surgery." At his words, vague memories of a healer and a man with a strip of white hair float to the forefront of your mind. "You had a pretty awful fever though so it might be a bit hard to remember. Yunho – the healer, if you remember him – patched up the pinhole in your lung and kept it from collapsing with quick laser surgery. We also removed the bullet in your arm and drained the infection. He patched it up with stitches as best he could. He said that it was hard to close without some skin grafting, but he didn't want to do that so he just closed it without the extra graft."
"How – hold on, how long have I been here?" You ask. The sudden barrage of information catches you off-guard. You're still waking up, brain not coming back to full functionality, yet this man doesn't seem to care about that one bit. 
"Oh! Hm, I think you've been on the ship for maybe a total of seven days? If you include the first four stowaway days, that is. Otherwise, you've been asleep for three days."
"72 hours," you mutter to yourself. You remember something about the captain telling Yunho that he only had a certain amount of time to fix you.
"Sorry? I didn't quite catch that."
"72 hours… but the captain gave Yunho 48 hours to fix me."
"47 actually!" The man corrects with a bright and blinding smile, his teeth shining under the yellow light above your heads. "Captain only gave 47 hours to fix you, but it only took Yunho 17 so."
"Wh—What do you mean?"
"We were up for 17 hours trying to fix you up. Captain was impressed at Yunho's speed so he said that you could have extra recovery time. Oh, if you pretend to still be resting, you could get longer recovery time!"
"Why is everything in this room so damn white?" You mutter as you push yourself into a sitting position. The man shakes his head.
"No, no, no! You shouldn't get up!"
"Why not?" You protest, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed. "I'm fine, I feel fine, and nothing is going to rupture. Laser surgery doesn't leave tears or stitches either so it doesn't matter."
"No!" The man argues, voice climbing in volume. You blink up at him, eyes wide from the sudden outburst. "Yunho told me not to let you leave, and I won't go against what Yunho wants. If he says you stay here, then you stay here."
"This is ridiculous. Now I'm being kept here against my will? Am I a captive now?" You scoff as you continue to get to your feet. The man moves with surprising haste. He leans across the space in front of you, snatches up something from the table, then grabs your head. You try to fight back but he has already caught you and overwhelmed you. Something sharp pierces your neck. You cry out at the pressure but waves of warmth wash over you next. You stumble backward when he releases his hold on you. The backs of your knees hit the edge of the bed and you fall back onto the mattress as your strength leaves your body again. 
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but I had to do it. I won't go against what Yunho says." His voice sounds somewhat remorseful. You're losing consciousness so fast that the world spins around you and as you glance over at his hand, you spot a large shot. You'd recognize that almost anywhere. The military use them religiously, a typical weapon that you would brandish when dealing with insurgent civilians. High grade emergency sedative shots.
"Y-You…" You can't finish the sentence before the exhaustion overwhelms you and you pass out yet again.
✧  ✧  ✧
a/n: hello hello it’s that time~ new chapter! i hope you all enjoy it! please let me know what you think so far and what your fav part has been or anything about the story!! i know things are moving rather slowly at the moment bUT i promise it’ll pick up in the coming chapters, we just gotta get through this ish first !!
consider sending me a ko-fi!!
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
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unironicduncanstan · 4 years
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@alenoah and @icedancerhell did this and ik im definitely going to be cancelled for my taste but explanations below
prince of egypt: oh my gfucking god . bro the music. the ANIMATION. the story too like obviously its based on a religious tale but i mean the way its portrayed and interpreted and how it all comes across was so on point. and did i mention THE FUCKGIN MUSIC dude i would try to sing every song when i was a kid and i think attempting that literally improved my range growing up
shrek: ok when ur a kid literally all u want is to feel mature and cool. shrek was that in an hour and 30 minutes. all the adult humor. and even the shit that would fly over your head somehow still always registered as so funny. every line is burned into my brain bc i watched it so much it was so fuckgin funny and entertaining and the storyline was so depthful and important. shrek for president
sinbad: oh yeah he makes me wanna sin. Bad
rise of the guardians: oooohhg the plot was so cool and intriguing,,, the designs were so unique,,,, also i actually used to. cosplay jack frost when i was a teen osfkjskjfhksdjf i might have like One picture around here somewhere,
over the hedge: every character is perfectly designed and perfectly voiced and the humor was so good. me at like 8 years old watching hammy the squirrel drink coffee and frolic around in a slowed down world was the peak of comedy
madagascar: its just such a classic. another movie where every line is burned into my cerebellum bc i had it on dvd. id say out of this whole list this close to number one. idk where to even begin with how stupidly hilarious it was to me
httyd: lbr who didnt just do a full [lisa simpson face] when you got to the end and hiccup had lost part of a leg. the whole movie had this aura that it was like not tethered down somehow while still being great family friendly media. also im ace sexual and UHH big dragon
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antz: unironically i think it deserves so much more than it gets. the anti war messages are great the designs are cool and it goes back into the shrek maturity territory where they get to say CUSS WORDS. p much my only qualm is that woody allen had to be there 😔😔😔  
shark tale: ok dont cancel me but i really love the plot actually. i mostly love the mafia shark boy that dresses as a dolphin but even the will smith fish crash-and-burn fame hubris thing while annoying at times was rly intriguing. and the designs are the kind of thing that as a kid i loved but as an adult i do. struggle , w ith, a bit, but overall funny and entertaining story
el dorado: the music slaps so fuckgin hard thats another example of me tryna sing cartoon music to an embarrassing degree. also the Colorse . the designs . and the humor osjfsjdf the only downside is just a personal vibe bc the best friend conflict storylines make me anxious sometimes lol
flushed away: oh my god dont at me. some of the characters are so fuckgin annoying and some of the humor is just so much but i rly did like the worldbuilding and storyline. stupid posh ass rat was rly cool actually. also yet another mafia/gang violence plot in childrens media why is that so funny when ur a kid god
spirit: GREAT MUSIC GREAT STORY! i think the way the story goes like, its Better to be told with regular horses and narration rather than talking horses,,,, but my dumb whimsical child ass just didnt latch onto that style as much as the talking animal movies
shrek 2: rly good tbh all the new characters introduced are interesting and entertaining to watch, but i mostly remember it for i need a hero and human shrek. didnt rly hit the same mark as the first :/
httyd 2: another great movie with another great twist but it almost felt like too much at once for my little brain to handle. overloaded me with gay emotion 
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megamind: i love everything it stands for i just never saw it until like a year ago so its not that dear to my heart
kung fu panda: not my style of humor, i saw it once and can hardly remember it but i feel like the plot was wholesome and cute
the croods: so funny and good, ive seen it many times actually. but some of the humor just isnt my thing (its, well, crude, which also took me like 5 yrs to get that joke,)
bee movie: was pleasantly surprised the first time i watched it??? it was pretty good and it did kinda make fun of itself so idk why its so cringe to ppl. barry b benson entertained me unironically
chicken run: i saw it once when i was very young and it just didnt resonate with me also claymation most of my childhood terrified me
wallace and gromit: same as chicken run
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entire never saw it tier: dotn hate me i just dont have a lot of time on my hands. i know i will be oppressed into watching peabody and sherman within the week and i accept the charges
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monsters vs. aliens: someone got it for me on dvd and i hated it so much. its not even that bad its just a me thing like for some reason the part where the lady becomes a giant during her wedding or w/e was just like. the worst nightmare i could imagine i hated it and it made me scared to get married bc i thought that could happen to me. also none of the main cast is charming to me one of thems a bug and i have a bug phobia so i could never rly get thru it im sorry but i coudltn do it
madagascar 2: alex backstory was kinda good but the rest was forgettable for me
madagascar 3: visually kinda cool but. :/// felt really off compared to the previous movies, like an obvious cash grab. i mean who could forget the constant polka dot afro circus song advertisements
shrek 3: again mostly just remember it for the frog dad dying ,,,
shrek 4: i only saw it like 5 months ago for the first time. fiona being a warrior in an alternate timeline or w/e (if that was real and not a fever dream) was the only semi tolerable part for me
penguins of madagascar: the first few minutes with them as babies was cute the rest i physically could not keep my attention on. i dont remember anything else im sorry
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words-for-holland · 4 years
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Happier (9) | T.H
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Summary: Y/N & Tom seem to be in the process of rebuilding their relationship. Natalie is up to no good. How much more can Y/N & Tom take?
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10
Masterlist
A/N: Ive been reading all your responses lately and I appreciate them so much! Im so glad you’re all still on this crazy dramatic ride! Thank you so much for reading and supporting!
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Spontaneity
There are certain moments in your life where things go according to plan, and others when they dont...but those are the best kinds. The moments that happen because it feels right and everything just falls into place. After all, everything happens for a reason.
It had been three weeks since Tom and Y/N had their heart to heart, promising to find Unknown together along with Harrison and Harry. While there were no threats taking place, one could never be too careful. The more they waited, the more vulnerable they became, letting down their guard ever so slightly.
Everyone kept a close eye on Natalie, but she convinced them enough to think she was on their side and the PR had nothing to do with Unknown. Show the boys one made up threat message from Unknown and you gained most of their trust. Tom had asked Natalie to stop the PR for the sake of mending his broken relationship with Y/N. She told him that her and her publicist agreed to put it on hold...but kept no promise of stopping it forever.
Natalie’s mother was getting furious, not happy with how her daughter handled the situation. “I told you to keep Y/N away, you insolent girl. You are ruining everything and your chance with Tom.”, she spat through the phone.
Natalie listened to her mother’s rant, rolling her eyes. “Relax mother.” She says sourily. “This is just the beginning. Y/N wont know what hit her and after this...She’s going to wish she never came back to London.” She hangs up the phone smirking as she goes through fan accounts that continued to spark the PR flame.
Meanwhile as the three weeks passed Tom & Y/N had slowly rebuilt their relationship. Occasional glances and banters left their tongue, subtle compliments were thrown out, and it almost seemed as if things would be back just the way they were. Even more so, one day in the kitchen. Y/N was making dinner the for the group as she took the time to cut the asparagus and broccoli. Tom passed by her, as he saw her lose herself in the soft music playing in the background, singing to herself all while still being focused on the food.
He leaned against the doorway and continued to observe her, admiring how cute she looked with her hair up and how sweet her voice sounded with the music. It almost made him think why she didn’t pursue a career in music instead of business. “Wow.” Tom muttered under his breath.
His voice must have been too loud, since Y/N looked up startled, but all the more happy to see the man she once loved..and still does deep down. “Oh..I didn’t see you there.” She giggles. “Don’t worry I’ll stop singing in the kitchen. I know how you guys are when I get into it.”
Tom quickly shook his head as he came closer to her, smiling back. “No. You don’t have to. I think your voice sounds lovely. I mean the kitchen’s got great acoustics.” He laughs nervously. Tom can’t remember the last time he felt so nervous with her, but in the good type of nervous. The type of feeling, one gets when they’re in front of their crush and all the butterlies in their stomach start fluttering. “You just sound and look so beautiful.” He admits, sheepishly.
“Thomas Stanley Holland are you trying to flirt with me?” She asks amused at his attempt pointing the knife at him from a safe distance.
“Am not.” He dramatically answers. “I can’t compliment a friend, who happens to be really beautiful.” Y/N shies away hiding her face, by looking down at the cutting board. “I mean it. I really do think you’re beautiful, even if you dont think like that.”
“Well..I’m definitely no model or Natalie, since the people say you both are London’s to die for couple.” She says bitterly.
Tom rolls his eyes as he takes her hand. “Hey..I told you we stopped it for now and Natalie agreed. You know, I get that we all have our suspicions of her after everything, but she said and proved she was a victim herself. Plus Unknown’s been quiet for the past three weeks.” Y/N scoffs at his defense for Natalie as she heads to the stove with Tom following right behind her. He taps on her should as she reluctantly turns to look at him. “I am only ever going to have feelings for you.” Tom confesses. In this moment their faces are inches apart, eyes are slowing moving down to their lips and back up to their eyes, breaths slowing, and just when it seemed like everything would fall into place, both quickly turn away clearing their throats
Y/N calms her heartbeat as she stirs the pasta while Tom helps stir the sauce. The room was quiet only the sound of bubbling from the pots filling the room. It only took five seconds before they both turned back to each other quickly connecting their lips. The fever and the passion increasing rapidly with every touch and pull. The warmth coming from their breaths and the tingling feeling everytime their lips touched. It was like coming back from an addicition you had quit for so long but craved every single time. They couldn’t stop no matter how wrong this was right now, but it felt so right so spontaneous, so in the moment.
Tom quickly signaled her to jump and did as she told, wrapping her legs around his toned torso, cupping her hands under his jaw. He pushed her back against the kitchen wall, as he slow let on of his hands linger under her shirt. It may have been months apart, but both knew exactly what the other needed and how to handle it. Almost as if it were instinctive. They were in complete bliss, forgetting the world around them. Until, the pasta water started overflowing on the stove.
Y/N opened her eyes and quickly pushed Tom away. “Shit. The food.” She yells out, jumping from Tom’s embrace. Both of them tried to calm their heart rate and Tom stood their watching Y/N, smiling at what had just happened. For once he had his girl back, and everything felt normal. Y/N looks at him, giggling. “What?” She asks.
“Nothing.” He replies, grinning like a little boy. “I’ve waited to do that for so long.”
Y/N blushes at his statement, as she sets up the table with the food. “Come on. It’s time to eat.”
Life seemed surreal after her encounter with Tom. Y/N told herself that it was a one time thing until they found Unknown. She didnt want to put anyone at risk especially both her’s and Tom’s heart. But everytime she told herself, the more she got lost in Tom. Every stolen moment, stolen kisses, stolen touch...he always had a way of making her forget. So while she vowed to herself that it would stop, her heart simply couldn’t. Tom was right, there was no PR, no text messages, no insane fan account rumor. Natalie hadn’t even bothered either of them, always focused on her own thing, and truthfully seemed a lot nicer when she came forth about being a victim of Unknown. The questions came to Y/N’s mind. Why should she have to live in fear? Why not just live in the moment?
It was a slow night. Harrison had spent the weekend at his mother’s while Harry did the same. Tom and Y/N were the only ones that roamed aroundthe house. While Natalie spent her time contemplating everything. Her initial plan to crush Y/N when she least expected was approaching ever so quickly after all the time it took to set up. Within that time, she had gotten to know Y/N and Tom even more so a part from the hatred and the jealousy. For a second...just a second, she considered not to follow through. But her mother’s words and the thought of losing her chances with Tom overtook her the moment she saw the two fall in love all over again. Her suspicions only became worse when she recirved a text from her mother.
Unknown
Just remember, your acting career and your dreams depend on Tom. If you want Tom to choose you, you better get rid of the girl stealing your chances.
Filled with worry, Natalie quickly grabbed her things and made her way out the door.
Meanwhile, Tom and Y/N continued to spend time in each others arms everywhere they went in the house. They settled on the couch, Tom’s stong hands wrapping around her torso as Y/N curled herself into Tom. “I wish we could stay like this forever.” She whispers to him.
Tom hums at the idea, smiling wide. “Me too.” He brings her soft lips to his, letting them linger for a couple seconds more. “Do you really enjoy staying in the guest room?” Tom asks.
Y/N looks up at him, with curious eyes. “I mean yeah it’s okay. Why?”
Tom takes a deep breath before asking, “Well...I was uh wondering, if you didn’t like it as much there, you could..maybe stay with me...again.” He suggested muttering the last word. Tom smiled nervously, as he observes Y/N’s emotions. She was calm like the sea before a storm.
Y/N smiles at his offer, but shakes her head. “Mmm..it’s okay. Im fine where I am, but thank you for the generous offer.” She responds, placing a small kiss on his cheek.
“Yeah...I guess I should have seen that coming.” Tom admits, his face showing signs of disappointment.
Y/N pouts her lips, and lifts her small hand to move a piece of his hair. “Hey..believe me. I want to but nows the not the time..at least not yet. One day, I promise.” She whispers leaving a chaste kiss on his lips. “C’mon we got another day tomorrow. I’m gonna head into my room for a bit.”
“I’ll come up later just wanna make a call to Harrison.” Tom replies. Y/N looks at him and smiles as she nods and heads back up to her room.
As the night came to an end, Y/N took the time to unwind with a book in hand when her phone went off. Her face dropped when she saw the messages.
Pictures of Natalie out and about wearing Tom’s clothes and jewlery, smiling into the sun and enjoying her day out with friends. Gossips left and right from fans and media, talking about how adorable it was that Natalie was the type of girlfriend to steal her boyfriends clothes because it looks cuter on her. Y/N knew deep down it wasn’t true but the words and pictures taunted her. Slowly and surely, she started to get mad, furious that Natalie would start the flame again out of nowhere when she promised Tom they would stopped. Another message popped up for Y/N, and it was from someone she so willingly prayed it wouldnt be who she thought.
Unknown
Doesn’t she look cute in his clothes. Probably better than you ever could. BTW..where is lover boy? 😉
Y/N throws her phone against the wall, pissed more than ever. She should have known this was going to happen. Y/N contemplated the message, she wondered what the text meant. After all Unknown seeemed to know more about everyone here better than they knew themselves. Y/N slowly went downstairs only to hear whispering coming from the kitchen. She couldn’t make out the exact words but she could identify the voice. It was Tom and Natalie? She took a peak at the kitchen where the two stood facing each other. Y/N couldn’t make out Tom’s face but she could see Natalie’s very clearly. “Kiss me.” Natalie whispers, as she quickly places her lips on Tom’s cradling his neck, but Tom didn’t stop. The moment his eyes opened up to see Y/N’s he pushed Natalie off with all his might.
Y/N standing there in shock and sadness. Her eyes tearing up, her breaths shortening. She shakes her head, as she replays the disturbing image in her mind. “Y/N... it’s not what it looks like.” Tom quickly defends, trying to reach for Y/N as she steps back. Natalie observing the two, a slight smirk forming across her face. “I swear it was for the PR and movie.” He yells out, trying to chase her.
Y/N whips back as she faces Tom, the angriest she has ever been with him. “Who are you putting a show for in this house? Me? Because I sure as hell didn’t fucking like it one bit. I should have known better.” She spits out, heading up the stairs with Tom following.
“Y/N..please. It didn’t mean anything. I swear. I was put in a compromising position. Please listen to me.” Tom pleads. The door to her room is shut locked, but he stays there waiting and knocking at the door. “Y/N. Don’t do this. Dont walk away. Please just let me explain. You know what we have is special and the moment at the kitchen and everything this past month...”
“Was ruined and a complete and utter mistake. Leave me alone and I swear Tom you even try to get near me I will make sure you never see the light of day. I should have fucking stayed back.” Y/N yells out, sobbing against the door. It was a nightmare, and this time she couldn’t get out. She sat there now realizing, her heart had broken completely for the second time.
Taglist:
@hollanddolanfangirl @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson @greatpizzascissorstaco @andievgs @joyleenl @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @viwihere @marvelobsessedteenager @panicattheeverywherekid @oswinO5 @jillanaholland
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