#i have a degree and still earn the MINIMUM WAGE

[avinox]

1 like=1 explosion in my job

[nostarfights]

Chapter One of Made Your Mark

Pairing: sugardaddy!rockstar!Eddie Munson X fem!reader

Summary: You and Eddie meet on the sugar daddy site recommended to you by Steve.

Word Count: 2.3K

Fic Masterlist

As of today, it had been six months since you graduated from your university. Six months since your graduation where you were spoken to about new opportunities and where life can take you. Six months of companies not moving forward with you for the job you spent four years of your life getting your degree for. You’d spent four years trying to become an author and still no one wanted to publish your book. Six months of working at some fancy restaurant near your apartment that barely paid you enough to get by in life.

To say you were frustrated and wanting to give up was an understatement, you were furious. But you promised yourself that you would keep trying and trying until you got the job you worked so hard for. Which you hoped would happen soon seeing as you were getting pretty tired of the rich people who talked down to you at the restaurant where you worked as a waitress. 

You were underpaid and just tired of it all, working there and trying to get the job you wanted was more exhausting than the four years of work you put in to actually get your degree. But you were still determined nevertheless.

You’d expected a restaurant like this in such a busy area of your city to be well paying, but it turns out a little above minimum wage and very small tips is what you get working there. So, on the side you wrote articles for small magazines during your free time, which turned out to be somewhat successful. But the most you’d ever earned on one of your articles was $400, which would have to do for now until you got the job you actually wanted, not needed. 

At the current moment, the time was 10:30pm on a Saturday and you had gotten home not long ago from another busy shift at the restaurant. You were tired and your body was sore, as if you had just gone on a four hour long hike. Your hair becoming a little messy as you got settled on your couch, the belt that was once in the loops on your black dress pants now resting on the floor next to your coffee table and the first few buttons of your shirt undone. You were just about to fall asleep here, your eyelids growing more and more heavy with each passing moment, when someone knocked on your door, causing you to perk up right away. 

Not feeling the need to ask who it was on your doorstep at this hour, you simply got up then unlocked and opened the front door to your apartment. Revealing your best friend, Steve to be standing there on the other side of the door.

He softly greeted you with a hug, making you smile into his chest. “Hey, how’ve you been?” he gently asked as he rubbed your back. “Hi, Stevie.” you quietly said while you hugged him back, making a smile of his own appear on his face. “I’ve been alright, just tired and frustrated. The usual.” you answer with a shrug, quickly closing the door behind him after you leave his arms. Your answer made him frown as the two of you walked over to your couch.

You and Steve had known each other since middle school and had been very close since then. You had truly been through it all together. He hated to see that his best friend was struggling even after all you had done to get what you wanted. 

That frown is still on Steve’s face as he started to speak again, “I understand. But I have to admit, I’m tired of seeing you like this, y’know, struggling. You don’t deserve to.” he said from his spot next to you on your couch. You let a sigh escape your lips, your shoulders dropping into a more relaxed position, “I know,” you said, pausing to take a deep breath, “but there’s not much I can do except keep sending out my manuscript to more publishers. Although I will admit I don’t have much hope, it’s just been six months of rejections from every publisher I’ve send it to. I hate that it’s this hard to be successful at the job I literally got my degree for but I guess all I can do is keep trying and working.” you told him, fully conveying your frustration and exhaustion to Steve again.

He nodded in response and gently placed his hand over yours, “I get it and I agree, you should keep trying. But until you do get an acceptance from a publisher, I do have a suggestion that could get you out of working that tiring waitress gig I know you hate.” he replied, making you chuckle a little while a smirk appeared on his lips. 

You jokingly rolled your eyes at him and began to rest your head on the couch, “Oh no, what is it this time?” you jokingly said, waiting to hear what Steve had to say, no longer surprised by his antics. He nodded in response then spoke once more, “Now this is just a suggestion, so just hear me out okay?” he said, earning a nod from you in response before he speaks again, “I think that you should check out this sugar daddy site I’ve used a few times called Classy. There’s a lot of rich lonely guys on there who will literally pay you just to hang out with them. It’s not as bad as you’d think it would be.” he explained, moving his hands around while he talked.

You had to admit, it’s a decent and possible solution to your problem. But you still felt a bit suspicious about it anyway. 

You opened your mouth to speak but Steve quickly interrupted before you could even get a word out, “I know what you’re going to say but, please, just think about it.” he said, making you roll your eyes again. “Steve, I appreciate the advice I do. But you know I want to be independent, I don’t know how to feel about the idea of relying on someone else for money. But I promise to think about it and that’s all you’re getting out of me, Stevie.” you replied, ending your statement with a laugh while you point at Steve. He laughs with you, “Fine, but I still think you should do it.” he said, his hands up in the air in surrender, causing the two of you to laugh a little.

As for the rest of the night, you and Steve sat on your couch and talked a bit more about all of the things that have been going on in your lives since you last spoke to each other.

You told him about how stressful work has been and the recent articles you’ve written. How your dating life has been non-existent with how busy you’ve been. Steve told you about how stressful his own job has been. As well as how nicely past arrangements with sugar daddies have gone for him and to be picky when picking one. 

A few hours later at about 2am, after talking for a while you and Steve said your goodbyes and he headed home, promising to tell you that he made it home safe when he got there. 

Once he had left, you began to get ready for bed while you thought about Steve’s suggestion. If you’re being honest with yourself, this whole sugar daddy thing did sound a bit appealing.

But it is something you wanted to think about and talk to Steve about more before you made a decision. You just wanted to make sure that the site is safe and that you wouldn’t be putting yourself into a dangerous situation. You also wanted to really think about whether or not you are really okay with having someone, a rich man specifically, help you out financially. You almost fell asleep that night thinking about it too, but you decided to let your mind rest for now. You’d call Steve in the morning–the beginning of your day off– and talk about it more then. 

--------------------------------

Two days had passed now since Steve had brought up the idea of getting a sugar daddy to you and after a lot of talking and thinking about it, you decided to give the site a chance. But if it ended up going badly for you, you’d never use it again. And as a safety precaution, you promised to send Steve the name, phone number and photo of the guy you end up deciding to meet up with.

Your profile on the site consisted of the basic things about you one might want to know, a few of your interests and a few photos of you to go along with it. Afterward, you began to scroll through the site and the profiles of the sugar daddies on there.

Meanwhile, as you were deciding whether to go through with signing up for this site or not, Eddie was sitting on his own couch in his own home. 

At this point in his life, Eddie was one month into his band, Corroded Coffin’s one year long break from making music and touring. When the band was active, he had been completely fine with living alone, he was too busy to even have the chance to feel lonely. But now that he had absolutely nothing to do but work on his solo music, that lonely feeling had easily creeped into his life. Now his home felt empty and cold instead of comforting and warm like it usually did when he was busy. Because of touring and making music, he used to rarely be here and now he’s here all the time.

He wanted someone to spend his newfound free time with, he wanted companionship. But it’s a bit difficult for him to find love on dating apps, all of his accounts end up getting taken down not long after he makes them because people think they’re someone pretending to be him. He can’t meet anyone by just going out anymore without getting swarmed by paparazzi and fans because of his fame. So, he decided to check out a sugar daddy site called ‘Classy’ that he’s seen ads for a few times. “Maybe it could be promising?" he thought.

Nevertheless, he decided to give it a shot and created an account on the site. Like you, on his profile he included some basic information about himself, some of his interests and a few photos of himself. His bio, which he quickly typed out without really thinking about it, simply said, “37, Just looking for someone to spend time with.” Then like you he began to scroll through the site and the profiles of the sugar babies on there. 

Ten minutes into your own scrolling, you stopped on Eddie’s profile–his beauty having caught your eye–and you clicked on it right away. After looking through his profile a bit, it seems like he would be a good match for you. He’s definitely not as demanding as the other men on there. So you messaged him. You knew who he was of course and while you are shocked to see him on the site, you didn't bring either of those things up in your message, assuming that he probably just wants to be treated like any other person.

The message you ended up sending to him after deleting and retyping it a few times said, “Hey, if you’re up for it, I’d be open to discussing an arrangement that would work best for us. :)” You then, with your heart still beating a little fast, hit send and closed the website on your phone for now. 

—————————

After a bit of scrolling, Eddie really hadn’t found anyone who matched what he was looking for. But he didn’t want to give up on this yet, so he headed over to the inbox part of the site and saw that nearly a hundred messages had already appeared even though his account had only existed for less than an hour. Most of these people didn’t really interest him, mostly because they seemed to only be interested in him because of his fame, not because they want the same thing as him.

Seeing this made him want to give up for now and he’s about to close the site, mentally planning on looking at it again later when he sees your name in his inbox and the preview of what you had sent to him. But before he had properly looked at the message you sent, he was immediately drawn to look at your profile first. Your profile picture alone had him entranced, you were just so beautiful and the bits of your personality that you included on your profile only made him more entranced with you. If that was even possible. 

He then read your message, the message making him smile to know that this woman he was so drawn to was interested in the same sort of arrangement as him. He messaged you back as soon as he finished reading your message, his fingers gliding across the keyboard on his phone, “Hi. Sounds like a plan! Meet me at The Rouge for dinner on Friday at 6pm so we can properly talk about how we both want this to work. See you then. ;)” Not long after he had sent this, you checked the site and saw this message waiting for you in your inbox, your cheeks blushing at the thought of a man as handsome as him being interested in you. 

You agreed to meeting up with him for dinner right away and he responded again quite quickly like you had, this time with his number so that the two of you wouldn’t have to keep in touch through the site. You then sent him a quick message saying hi and letting him know that it was you texting him, getting a response from him moments later that simply said, “Hi :)” back, causing you to smile softly to yourself.

[davidchiemcore]

started thinking about how much money each of the characters likely makes

(DRDT SPOILERS AHEAD - for character and story backgrounds)

basic information I'm going off of: drdtdev stated that everyone except Teruko and Min make their living from their talent. the hope's peak academy they attend is located in the US, and they're specifically part of the east class, so implying its somewhere on the eastern side of the us. While they don't have to live where the school is, there is a western branch of Hope's Peak, so the fact that they attend the eastern branch suggests that they're closer to that side. The series takes place sometime in the future, but given the world had a major tragedy and seems to be on the same level as the world we live in, I'm gonna assume inflation is roughly the same as now

teruko: She does mention having to choose between rent and food, meaning she makes some sort of money, and enough to rent a place at times. I assume she works some sort of minimum wage job, given she doesn't have full schooling experience. a lot of the eastern us has minimum wage at 7.25, but places in the northeast have it a bit higher, from 10-15. If she earned something like 13 dollars an hour, worked 40 hours a week, and worked every week, she would make around 27k. However, with her bad luck and lack of legal documents as mentioned when she talks about her schooling, I assume she probably loses jobs quite frequently. Assuming she's unemployed for about a fourth of the year, she would' earn roughly 20k

xander: This one confuses me a bit. He's basically an activist, so I'm not sure what kind of job he would have consistently. Additionally, he lived in the UK from at least age 14 until he started attending Hope's Peak, so I had to look for jobs there. Looking it up, it seems that the pay ranges from 23k-49k, averaging at 33k (all in pounds). Converting that, the average salary would be 43-44k. He's living with no family, and who were poor enough to likely not leave anything behind, so he probably has to work a lot to pay for his overseas school. However, he did do school at the same time, so I'll take 3/4s of the total salary to give him 33k a year.

charles: Given that being even an entry-level chemist requires at least a four year degree, I assume he may work as an assistant to one at the moment. They still make quite a bit of money, however, most making 37k-49k a year. The average is 49k, but there's a chunk of outliers around 82k, mostly from California, which is in the western US. Therefore, I think it's reasonable to suggest he makes something in the middle of the range I gave, giving him a salary of 43k. However, given that he was likely doing school at the same time and has parents to support him, who also seemed to shelter him a lot, he likely works part time. For part time, I'll cut the salary by half and say he probably earns 22k a year.

ace: Horse jockeys get paid per race, both for winning and participating, so this is a little harder to calculate. Most horse jockeys earn 53k-67k, but given that Ace is the Ultimate Jockey, this is a job where being skilled can really help you rise in the ranks, both of how much you can charge, and how often you win. It's also something that he could reasonably have a couple years of experience in given that they only need to be 16 years old to start professionally racing. Therefore, I would put him at the high end of the average or maybe even higher. I'll estimate 70k per year. Many horse jockeys drop out of school to focus on their job, so I'll leave him at that.

arei: This is also a little harder to calculate, because while you can bowl at any age, you can only join the Professional Bowlers Association once you turn 18. However, she could still compete for prizes in PBA Jr. and other smaller competitions. This year's PBA Jr. Competition gave 10k in scholarship money, but most competitions have at most a couple thousand dollars as the top reward, so I'll estimate she might make about 12k in a year? However, she lives with family still, so this is probably fine for her.

rose: rose is stated to have earned several millions doing forgery, so her previous salary would've been incredible. However, now she just does recreations of other paintings. None of the money goes to her, but if we still want to calculate it, the average reproduction artist earns 46k a year.

hu: I assume she likely does small venues where she plays the zither. According to a reddit post, the average earnings for a gig for a small musician is around $230, and assuming she does an average of one a week (some weeks she might do more, some weeks she might not do any), she'd earn about 12k a year.

eden: Eden is stated to both do clock making and clock repair. Most clock repairers make 36k-44k a year, averaging to 40k, and the average clock maker earns about 40k a year as well. She says that she can work 14 hours without breaks, implying she has some very long work days, possibly putting her slightly above the average at 42k.

levi: At first i thought Levi would make a lot because personal stylists sound like a rich people thing? But looking into it the average salary in the US ranges from 34k-50k a year, and since he states that he's relatively new to the field, he probably leans to the lower end of that. im gonna put him at 36k? He lives alone, so he likely works full time to pay for his living conditions.

arturo: Similar to Charles, he likely doesn't perform his actual job yet regularly. Half of all plastic surgeon assistants make somewhere between 22k-56k a year, with the halfway point at 37k. The median amount is around 44k. Given that he was likely working part-time, as he was probably in school at the same time, I'll cut that in half to give him a salary of 22k per year.

min: It's stated that her schooling up until this point was paid for by the spurling foundation, so i assume either the same is the case for her time in college, or her parents were able to save a lot of money to pay for it. Given this and how much time she puts into school, i assume she doesn't have a job.

david: This was a hard one to calculate. The average motivational speaker (I know he's called an inspirational speaker but in this case they're interchangeable) can make anything from 500 to 30k per speech, depending on their experience and skill. We know David is a well-known celebrity, being famous worldwide, but it's not to the degree that everyone in the class is shocked by his appearance, just Xander. If he work to make 10k a speech, and do one speech every two months, he'd be making 60k a year. In addition to this, many speakers have alternate sources of income, like book and channels. He's not stated to have these, but I'd assume he at least does smaller talks, maybe giving him another 10k a year?? As he's paid per speech, this doesn't require a lot of hours, so he probably is able to make full pay while also going to class. I'm not sure if this is a super accurate salary, but it's hard to get a gauge on it, so I'm going with 70k a year.

veronika: How does one make money as a horror fanatic? She mentions being a scholar in her field, so maybe she writes papers and small books on the subject. However, I'm a personal fan of the "deep dive youtuber" theory, so I'll calculate for both. For scientific papers, you can earn from a few hundred to a few thousand per paper. Given this kind of stuff takes at least a couple months of research, I'd say she would only make a few thousand a year. Maybe 10k if I'm being generous and giving her a 2k article every other month? Now, for the other idea, youtubers make about 2.5-7.5 dollars per thousand views on a video. If she gets an average of 800k views per video (with a couple million on some and a few hundred thousand on some), and makes 5 dollars per thousand, she'd be getting about 4k per video. Again, if she puts out a video every other month, this would be getting her 20k.

j: Special Effects artists make anywhere from 44k to 86k a year. The average is 68k, but most make either a bit more or a bit less, and given J's influence from her mother, I'd assume she's in the higher range. The highest category is 23% of people making 78k-86k, so I'll give her 80k. I'm not sure about whether she'd work fulltime or part time, because she definitely has the money to work part time because of her mother, but she might also try to make all her own money herself to spite her? I'm leaning that she works part time, so if I cut that in half she still makes 40k a year.

whit: The average professional matchmaker makes 42k-46k a year. The average is a clean 44k a year. Again, I'm not sure if he'd work part time or full time because we don't know much about his living situation. It's possible he needs to help support his single dad, so I'll put him at 3/4s of that, 33k.

nico: Most animal behavior specialists, which is what Nico says they are in their conversation with Xander, make 46k-53k a year, with an median of 48k. However, given they don't have a degree yet, I'll assume they make on the lower end of that, so 46k. They mention going to school, so they likely work part time, cutting that in half to give them a salary of 26k.

if anyone read this far thank you this took me like three hours HAHA

[confessions-official]

i do look down on women who choose to be dependent on men and i'm tired of pretending i don't!!!!!!!!! i hate having to be like "oh you can choose how you want to live but keep in mind the dangers of depending on someone else blah blah blah". if you willingly choose to depend on a man i am indeed a raging feminist who thinks she's better than you!! by miles!! i think in the year 2024 actually wanting to be a housewife signals stupidity and laziness and wishy-washiness and i'm tired of pretending it's just as feminist as choosing to live by your own means to coddle weak-minded girls who feel guilty they don't want to leave their shitty boyfriend I DON'T CARE!! u are a disgrace to womanhood and that's that. a woman who works at a gas station earning below minimum wage while living with her parents and getting a degree at a community college is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times more successful, honorable, respectable to me than a woman who lives "well" by serving her husband and pumping out a bunch of kids and i'm tired of pretending i don't think like this. if u want to live like that ok but don't call yourself a feminist, don't call yourself a misandrist for laughs, don't expect feminist discussions to coddle your feelings about the shitty life you chose that you feel insecure about because deep down inside you KNOW that it's a shitty life and that you've let every woman in your bloodline down. either deal with that or choose something else while you still can.

 

[engagemythrusters]

no bc a large reason i was instantly drawn to the Walmart Echo was because he WOULD be a walmart employee

all these modern AUs where the clones are cops or lawyers or whatever are missing the Big Thing about the clones in canon: they come from nothing, earn nothing, and die with nothing. They don't make money (i think?), they have very little rights, and they're fucking expendable.

You know what that is in real life now? That's the fuckin working class! That's minimum wage, no benefits, no overtime! Your front desk attendants, your cashiers, your stockers, your servers, your retail associates!

not to mention, the clones are men of colour, and a large portion of them becoming disabled (via physical disability or PTSD or what-have-you)... you think they're easily finding jobs? And in THIS economy? I hid my disability, played pretend, and I'm still makin jack squat. I've got privilages they don't have! I have a degree--they wouldnt have gotten formal educations in this universe!

in Star Wars, the clones are taken advantage of the whole damn time. you think it's gonna be any different in the real world?

now obviously people break through and stuff. some clones would, too. but by and large... society is made of working class. clones are blue collar through and through and damn its actually nice to see it.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello. INFJ in my late 20s. I am feeling trapped in life. I live in a country that chronically pays low wages (especially in my field and interests, which is textile arts and museums) and where rents are skyrocketing while wages remain the same, with no hope for improvement. I still live with my parents because it’s hard to move out when I earn so little. I work at a small art studio that organizes workshops and earn minimum wage.

I don’t dislike my job, but I increasingly feel it unfair that, as someone who holds a university degree, there seem to be no jobs in my field that pay me what I deserve for the work I do. I have talked to my boss about the possibility of being raised, but they say it’s not possible at the moment. I am trapped and frustrated and I have no idea where to turn. I thought about looking into other job opportunities, but I fear they’ll always pay the same miserable wages and the work might be worse.

I also considered looking into opportunities abroad but I don’t know if I have the balls to go. In the meantime, I started reading a book on how to save and invest my money, but I’m feeling overwhelmed. The book tells me I need to define goals in order to save money, but I’m having a lot of trouble visualizing any goals at the moment. I don’t know what I want. I only know I want independence, but that seems difficult to do.

In general, I don’t have a vision of what I want my life to look like or even what I want to do in the future and that’s causing me a lot of pain. I need to be creative, but even my creativity is taking a hit with all these thoughts racing through my mind. I was recently gifted two sewing machines, but I don’t even have any space at home to use them – I want to use them, I want to create! But I have barely any space at home.

I even looked into renting a working space but they are too expensive. I feel hopeless and like a failure. Can you offer me any guidance?

---------------------

Vision need not be grand. Every big problem should be broken up into smaller, feasible steps. With regard to financial goals, you should always make them as concrete as possible, so that you have actual figures to work with. For example, starting small, you can determine how much income you'd need to afford your own place, either renting or buying. Then, it's much easier to calculate what you need to do month-to-month to save up enough cash. You might need to get a second job, but at least you'd be getting somewhere.

You don't control the economy. It's not only a waste of water to cry about things beyond your control, crying too much makes you prone to emotional reasoning, which sinks you deeper into pessimism and cynicism. Blame is always counterproductive, as it blinds you to the advantages you have in life. For example, you're lucky you don't have several dependents making your financial burdens heavier. Expressing gratitude for your advantages is a tried-and-true way of changing your perspective for the better. Read the articles on emotional intelligence if you need to learn how to manage negative feelings.

I'm not in a position to tell people how to make career decisions. As a general rule, when you feel stuck in a rut, you ought to open up yourself, your mind, and your life in order to thoroughly explore all the possibilities available to you. Most importantly, you have to be willing to accept some amount of risk and failure if you hope to get things moving again. There are no guarantees in life, so if you're waiting for a "sure thing" to come along, you'll be waiting forever.

[dailyanarchistposts]

Section VI: Diversity of Wages

Among the Proletarian class, there exists a diversity. Not every worker is paid the same wage. This cannot be denied. There have been some general ideas proposed on suggesting what differentiates the lower class from the middle class, or attempting to discover those basic principles which will allow for an increase in wages. Some have argued that the conditions of work are those which are determinant of pay. Others have argued, with more success, that a middle class can be differentiated from a lower class in its skill, ability, or education, which allow it greater productive ability. I think that the diversity of the Proletarian class can be seen best in the income of those members. A lawyer’s income, for instance, is remarkably higher than those who work in a factory. Just as a doctor’s income is higher than an engineer’s, and higher still than those who hold the position of a clerk. Some economists have attributed a worker’s wage to his education. However, education is not exactly proportionate to one’s wage. For instance, with a college degree, a person can earn perhaps up to $40,000 a year, but there are other professions which can earn more than twice that without a college degree, such as bartenders and strip dancers. While economists try to understand the diversity of the Proletarian class, and the causes of their wages, they apply various laws to this phenomena — the way a scientist would attempt to formulate laws to explain the natural world.

As far as the lower, middle, and upper classes of the Proletarian class, the only method of determining that a Proletariat belongs to one of these classes, is determinant wholly on the income they receive, or their wages. Sometimes, though, an economist may be mistaken, by classifying a Proletariat into a different class based on their ability to generate a higher wage from an employer. A Proletariat is either higher or lower in their own class by how much money they make. What determines their ability to make a good wage is an entirely different question, though of importance. A person’s wage depends on various factors. The primary factor is their ability to use capital in a manner that produces wealth, in comparison to others of the same field. So, it is true, there is a sort of competition. In professional sports, for instance, some are paid tens of millions of dollars. Is this due to their invaluable ability to play well and generate wealth for the owners of the sport? Partly, yes, but it is also due to the fact that such an ability is a rarity. When there are more workers in an industry than there are required, then a competition exists between these workers, each lowering their wage to the bare minimum required for subsistence. They require employment for the simple fact that, without it, they would starve.

An individual who is a lawyer provides an invaluable service, but it is also the rarity of lawyers which gives them their wage. For, if every person had a law degree and could practice law, I would not be surprised if a lawyer’s wage dipped down close to a subsistence wage. But, it is also the value of a lawyer’s services that give them their wage. If a man, for instance, had the ability to stretch his arm out for five feet, he may very well be the only human being capable of this. He would be rare, yes, but that would not mean his wages are high, because it is the usefulness of an employee that is the reason for their employer’s interest. It is the simple law of supply and demand applied to employment. It may very well be rare for a person to discover and attempt to sell a human toe, but the price would only be based on the demand of those interested, and the interest would be from some sort of usefulness of the item — in this case, probably novelty.

In ending, I will sum up my opinion on the determination of wages as this... Determined by two factors: the usefulness of the employee, and the rarity of the employee’s abilities.

[giant-bean]

Why should I have to pay for someone else's....

College debt, healthcare, or anything else! That is the argument that I hear from Americans all the time for why they don't like some "labral" policy and I just need to rant for a moment as I think its such a silly argument. Part of what makes it so silly is that it is almost always someone claiming to be Christian who makes the argument. "Why should I pay for others healthcare?" Says a woman with three siblings. "Would you help pay my medical bills if I got sick" asks a sibling "Of course your family" Says the first Christian. "Are we not all brothers and sisters in Christ?" asks the second. "That's different." HOW! Also people ask why they pay for others kids to go to public school when they don't have kids of their own. We live in not just a society but a community bro! Do you want to be surrounded incompetent's and have social economic and political collapse in under 10 years? Because if so all we need to do is stop education the next generation. Know Child left behind got us part of the way there and if we just cut all funding to school we can make that last 100 meter dash in record time. Now they also ask why they should pay for other peoples higher education and I get this one. Like why should they pay to send someone else to study fine art, or even law or medical school. Sure they may benefit from having more access to doctors but do we need more lawyers and what does the artist even need a degree for these days? (Not, knocking artists I have a degree in motion graphics.) Like why can't people pay for their own degrees makes sense for someone to think as this is a new concept that spits in the face of tradition and feels unjust if you managed to pay for your own education; however! My parents got their education for less than the cost of one semester from my University. I have paid for years and my current debt is higher then the amount I took out due to usury; which was supposed to be illegal. I worked for years as a teacher and was supposed to get public service forgiveness but they found a loop hole to deny me. And I still get why others would not want to pay for my education. I don't want to pay for my shitty shut down private school why would any one else want to pay for it!

And yet its still a silly question because its not supped to be the general populations taxes paying the bill. In 2015 There where only 123,000 ultra high net worth individuals (defined as those whose assets exceed $50 million) worldwide. As a group, however, they claimed to 45% of the world’s wealth. In 2024 in the US to be a current member of the 1% you need $5.8 million so the ultra-high net worth individuals (UHNWI) are .1% of the population. That's the group being asked to pay the bill. the .1% and corporations who benefit from an educated workforce. In essence the legislation is telling the ultra wealthy and trillion dollar corporations to provide more scholarships. So asking why do I have to pay for someone else's college is a selfish and silly question as you shouldn't have to pay and should be asking: How can my family and I benefit from free education? How can I ensure we have a place at an institute of higher education when admissions become harder due to restored merit based entry caused by all the new qualifying but under funded applicants that now have a chance to compete in our system? How will this help our greater society and local community? The question should be the same for any program. How can I benefit from having more fire fighters closer to my home? How can police officers with better training help keep my community safe? How can an increase in minimum wage help anyone if we don't cap inflation or CEO earnings? How can we get shit done if we don't elect local representatives that will actually help? How can other countries afford healthcare and education; Is it because America foots the bill for military protection of most other nations, allowing them to put resources into social programs instead of military budgeting? Would the world social economic and political economy collapse if America pulled its military's support from the rest of the world just enough to pay for its own social programs or could we fund both simply by billing .1% of our population? Just a little critical thinking creative thinking and problem solving is all it takes! Get those core concepts into our language arts, social studies, mathematics, science and other educational programs by funding teachers and equipping students with healthy success without financial enslavement and we could have an amazing new revaluation of industrial, technological and intellectual growth. Anyway if anyone actually read this thanks for taking the time to listen to my TED talk and letting me rant. Sorry for the wall of text and possibly incoherent spewing of unedited thoughts. Have a great day.

[itscritiquegeek]

A rant for freelance writers

My fellow writers, you are being grossly underpaid. I’ve been freelance writing intermittently for over a decade, and during that time the rate for freelance writing has dropped. Yes, you read that correctly. Dropped. 

I’ve returned to freelance writing during the pandemic because I need the schedule flexibility and work from home perks (thank you, health issues). I was offered a role that paid $10 per article. Yes. $10. I have over a decade of experience and have worked with some pretty big company names, and yet I was offered the same rate I was given as a new college grad with literally no experience a decade ago - and that was considered painfully low back then. In 2013 I made $10/article, but by 2014 I was making $50-$75/article. By 2015 I was averaging $100 per assignment. 

Needless to say, I declined the $10 role. 

Content farming websites like Comic Book Resources, ScreenRant - basically every publication under Valnet, amongst others - are taking advantage of you. Here are the rates I was told for an entertainment writer role at CBR. Again. I’ve been doing this for over 10 years and have a Master’s degree.  “The compensation rates for this position are based on a combination of rates for pay-per-post (PPP) and pay-per-view (PPV).  PPV rates are applied after every 1,000 views. News: $10 ($10 PPP) + $0.33 per 1k views Flash News: $5 ($5 PPP) + $0.25 per 1k views”  When pressed for the average views per article, I was told anywhere between 2,000 to 200,000. Which means you can be earning as little as $10.66 per article, while $76/per is the top end. I made $75/article in 2014 with just over a year of experience. The math ain’t mathing.  This issue isn’t exclusive to Valnet, either. Time and time again I’m seeing roles for writers listed at minimum wage. Some of the higher paying ones are still only offering $25 an hour regardless of experience level. Yet they receive hundreds, if not thousands of applicants. 

We can argue that this is just another symptom of wage stagnation, inflation, the recession we’re in that may or may not be manufactured. But, I worry that the rise of AI has led to the devaluation of the writer, much as it threatens the digital artist. Why pay actual humans what an AI will do for free? Just plug in the topic and some old articles and watch as your content is repurposed into something fresh. No one will be able to tell. 

In the age of AI everything, the economy has come to undervalue good writers. Our creativity. Our humanity. 

I do not have a solution here, except to suggest that folks fucking stop working for Valnet because they’re exploitative. Even then, I don’t hold it against you if you do work for them. As I sit here filling out applications for roles that pay far less than my ending wage at my last position, I’m forced to swallow my pride simply because times are tough. Jobs are harder to come by, even though ‘everyone is hiring’. The longterm effects of COVID are real, and limiting.  I have no solution, but I want you all to know that you deserve better. Your time and expertise have value. Writing is hard. 

You deserve fair compensation. 

[notquiteaghost]

i knew deep in my bones as a teenager that doing well in school wldnt actually matter in the long run n i just needed to not let it kill me but it is still very insane-making how i was Good At School up until i really wasnt and every adult in my life was SO sure i had to get Good At School again and now the skills i actually need to earn a living are just. communication, focus, lying, pattern recognition. which is pretty much what made me good at school but no one was telling me "wow you did so good on the SATs you would make an excellent shop assistant" everyone was all about going to uni and getting a degree and. idek. writing essays abt books full-time. my primary (currently hypothetical) work-related problems are when managers aren't autistic, and minimum wage isn't a living wage, and not getting sick pay. how would finishing my A levels have helped with any of those

[mythologeekwriter]

God this is horrifying

[Note: I am not copying the whole of these articles, please do read them, I'm just sharing the bits that I think illustrate why you should in fact read them.]

Five-point plan to cut UK immigration raises fears of more NHS staff shortages | Immigration and asylum | The Guardian

Cleverly told MPs on Monday that “migration is far too high and needs to come down … enough is enough”. He added: “Today I can announce that we will go even further than those provisions already in place, with a five-point plan to further curb immigration abuses that will deliver the biggest ever reduction in net migration. “In total, this package, plus our reduction in student dependants, will mean about 300,000 fewer people will come in future years than have come to the UK last year.” Along with raising the salary threshold and scrapping the “shortage occupation list”, Cleverly announced that social care workers would no longer be allowed to bring their dependants when they came to work in the UK. He also said people living in the UK – including British citizens – would now be allowed to sponsor family members to move to the UK only if the person living in the UK earned £38,700, up from £18,600 currently. Finally, the government is asking the Migration Advisory Committee to review the rules for those who have completed undergraduate degrees in the UK. A spokesperson for Downing Street called the package “the biggest clampdown on legal migration ever”. They added: “We believe this is a package which will enable us to significantly reduce numbers whilst achieving economic growth.” It forms one part of a two-part plan to reduce the numbers of people coming into Britain legally and illegally. This week Cleverly is likely to fly to Kigali to sign a new asylum treaty with Rwanda, with ministers ready to bring forward new legislation in an effort to finally kickstart the government’s Rwanda plan.

Families face being split up by UK plan to cut legal migration, lawyers say | Migration | The Guardian

Data suggests this could make it impossible for between 60 and 70% of workers to bring their family into the UK. The crackdown has caused concern among some senior Tory MPs. Alicia Kearns, the chair of the foreign affairs select committee, said on Tuesday she was worried the package as a whole risked dividing families. She told LBC: “It risks being very unconservative”. Madeleine Sumption, the director of the Migration Observatory at the University of Oxford, said: “This is definitely completely different to what any other high income country does.” Under the new rules, someone will be able to bring a family member into the country if they earn £38,700 year. If the partner is already in the UK, both people’s incomes will be taken into account. If someone does not qualify under those rules, they will still be allowed to bring in family members if they have sufficient savings. Under current rules that figure is £62,500, but the government is consulting over whether to increase it.

Lawyers and applicants say, however, that it has led to distress and confusion, with many families already in the process of applying for visas now unsure of what the changes will mean for them. Kelly Robinson, an American PhD student living in Norwich with her partner, Owen Sennitt, had applied for her spousal visa last week, confident Sennitt’s job as a local journalist would be enough to qualify for it. Now she believes she may have to return to the US after eight years living in Britain. “It is a real shock,” she said. “The entire life we have built is being taken away from us overnight.” Nick Gore, a partner at Carter Thomas solicitors, said: “This is devastating for many people that just about meet the existing financial requirements. There is a huge spectrum of people who are affected – some are on minimum wage jobs, others have started their own businesses. This will split families up.”

Thanks to James Cleverly, I may never live in the same country as my kids again | Claire Armitstead | The Guardian

When I mentioned their predicament to a lawyer friend he was dismissive, saying that middle-class families always found a way round these problems. Other friends suggested we remortgage our house to raise the £62,500 capital that was the alternative route to a spousal visa. But it would have to have been in their bank account for a minimum of six months before they even reapplied; this was time their soaring stress levels meant they didn’t have. And anyway, they wanted to pay their own way. The Home Office said any change to the capital threshold would be announced in due course. At the old salary rate, they probably would eventually have worked something out, but at the new one there is no chance. Their relationship will always be based on them both working, and while their combined income would very probably exceed £38,700 a year, neither is going to make that much on their own. My eldest and his partner are now happily settled, so wouldn’t want to move back anyway. The sort of social care work she does is more highly valued in Spain. Meanwhile, my Australian daughter-in-law is in the crazy bind facing citizens of so many of the UK’s former colonies: expected to bend the knee to the monarch of a British state that doesn’t want them. Australia asks the foreign partners of its citizens only to prove their relationship is genuine.

[jaitropdonglets]

It’s Not a Poor Money Mindset. It’s Autism.

8min read

What is your attitude toward money? If you are young, you might be living check to check, happy to be able to pay bills. If you are retired, you may be freaking out about how you’re going to pay bills without a paycheck.

One of my earliest memories was realizing that I was going to have to work to live. I distinctly remember freaking out inside over this. It didn’t seem fair (and still doesn’t) that I was going to have to be like my dad and leave the family to earn money just so I, and any family I might have, could live.

Seriously. What’s up with that? As I was first realizing I was alive I understood that my life was intimately linked to money. I realized that a significant portion of my waking hours was going to be sacrificed at work just for the privilege of living. How could you put a price on life?

I guess I thought life was free.

Realizing early that I was required to have money was severely disheartening. It didn’t sit well with me and it never has. By the time I was thirteen and got my first job. I have sort of accepted my fate, but I have never been okay with it.

My relationship with money became one of tolerance. I acknowledged that I would trade a certain amount of my time but I wouldn’t like it. I would put in the bare minimum necessary to satisfy this demand, but I would maintain an attitude of conscientious objector.

My attitude about money became more about how to live without it. I wasn’t sure what other people did, but I could tell who had it and who didn’t The people I saw ‘with money’ weren’t all that nice to be around. In a chicken-or-the-egg dichotomy, I don’t know if I dislike wealthy people because of money or if my attitude about money led me to dislike wealth. Either way, I became an ‘it’s not for me’ kind of guy.

I worked throughout high school and part-time during college. Graduate school enabled me to ‘double-up’ by teaching and doing research for a small wage plus tuition waivers. I was lucky in that, for nearly two decades, I was able to work jobs I didn’t hate and only had to do them part-time. I excused this by the fact that I was getting an extreme value. I got three degrees (one terminal) for the cost of one, which compensated for low earnings.

See what I did there?

I never earned a high salary, but I was able to ‘make a living’ on very little and argued that my degrees offset any lack of earnings. Once I started my first ‘real job’, at 34 years old, things would change.

My first ‘real job’ salary for an assistant university professor was $51,000 in 2006 USD. Unfortunately, the daycare expenses for my three daughters were over $30k. Given that one of them was home sick more often than not, and that I was not the breadwinner in the family (my wife earned closer to $100k), I was unable to complete the duties of the tenure track.

None of this made sense to me. Here was my family, literally burning the candle at both ends, with me netting next-to-nothing from my work. I already had a split role as the primary caregiver, making it difficult to do my actual job. It was obvious to me that I would retire and be a stay-at-home dad.

Maybe this was the silent plan all along?

What made sense to me was not cool with my first wife. Through an unspoken course of events that included her affair, we were divorced within three years of my retirement. I was forced to return to the workforce while trying to make sense of my personal life.

For the next decade, I struggled to find meaningful employment. For the sake of my kids, I took several jobs and earned income that would provide for them. I lasted a year or two here and there but just couldn’t stomach the full-time nature of work. Eventually, I met another woman, remarried, and had another daughter.

Guess what? My wife is also a higher earner and I again found my way to full-time parenting.

Now, don’t give me a Parent of the Year award just yet. I don’t love being a stay-at-home dad. I have written several articles about how much I struggle to be a good parent. But not working protects me from my poor money mindset. It also helps perpetuate it.

My inability to equate money with happiness causes a lot of problems. I see money as evil. Maybe a necessary evil, but still evil. I don’t even believe we should own things. My value system has never included money in the way that others measure their worth.

But I also realize I live in a world full of other people who equate monetary value with actual value. My lack of money and earning potential in my role as primary caregiver leaves me feeling very inadequate in ‘other people’s’ terms. Hell, parenting doesn’t even figure into Gross Domestic Product. We don’t value not earning money. Or, perhaps more accurately, we DEvalue not working.

My poor money mindset.

I have heard many times that I simply have a poor attitude about money. I have been told to make money work for me, to be more positive, and even to manifest money in my life. Like talk therapy, these helpful tips don’t help change my mindset.

I am currently dealing with a wealthy person whose son hit my daughter’s car. They didn’t want to involve insurance and assured me they would pay for the damage. I even got three quotes to satisfy their desire for the lowest possible estimate. The actual cost of the repair was about 10% higher than the estimate and now they are refusing to pay. This provides positive feedback to my ‘limiting belief’ that money sucks.

Many people tell me it is my beliefs that are limiting, and I get that. But my beliefs are so strong that, despite decades of trying to change them, I fail. It’s the same thing with therapy. I have identified my limiting beliefs, and put in years of work to change them, but I can’t override my operating system.

And, like this insurance debacle, the world continues to provide evidence supporting my ‘limiting beliefs’. In my mind, denying the evidence instead of something I can’t make myself believe just doesn’t work.

Why can’t I change my mind?

This continuing cycle of failure is exhausting. It’s shameful. Most of the techniques I have tried to employ have been unsuccessful. When we try, repeatedly, and continue to fail it is extremely frustrating. Moreover, it supports my beliefs that I’m not good enough.

My attempts at healing have, in many ways, led me to double down on my original thoughts. That I am broken. Traditional therapies, contemporary wisdom, and social media gurus combine to provide positive reinforcement to my ‘limiting beliefs’. It’s like going to an AA meeting only to be offered alcohol as a solution.

My feelings of shame are so strong that I initially ignored my autism scores. Because neurodivergence is so poorly understood, the self tests do not provide definitive diagnoses — nor should they. Instead of providing a ‘yes or no’ diagnosis, there is a broad range of maybe. If you score very low, it is likely you are not autistic. If you score very high, near the 100% mark, you have a higher probability of being autistic. If you score in the middle? Well, you may or may not be autistic.

So when I first looked at my scores on multiple tests, I interpreted my ‘maybe’ as being ‘normal’ or ‘not autistic’.

After a few sessions with my therapist, and multiple revelations pointing to my potential for neurodivergence, I took the tests again. I was surprised my scores were so similar. This, coupled with things I had discovered about myself in recent months, opened my mind to the idea that I am neurodivergent.

The following months led me to other people like me. Older adults who grew up in a world without awareness and steeped in traditional talk therapy paradigms. People like me, who didn’t adhere to the strict imagery of neurodivergence. People like me who always knew they didn’t fit in, but found no solace in traditional support systems.

Though this is all very recent, viewing my money mindset through a neurodivergent lens doesn’t feel shameful. The idea that I may have an intellectual revulsion to all things money feels acceptable. Accepting myself for how I am rather than trying to force my square-peg self through the round hole of the world is like a breath of fresh air.

And I am aware that my shift from shame to autism could be an excuse but I don’t care. By not blaming myself I am released from the pain of knowing I need to change but being unable to do so. An autism self-diagnosis helps me understand my ‘unusual’ mindset toward money and other elements of being human.

And, sure, I’d love to be able to think about money differently.

I would prefer to have a healthy relationship to earning and spending money. I would love to similarly release myself from having to be frugal and to feel like I don’t deserve to be wealthy. But I’m not going to focus on my inability to meet these societal norms any longer.

Being neurodivergent has made me feel okay about my thoughts and ideas. That these elements of my humanity don’t always agree with societal norms does not make me broken. While I don’t know what this means about my future ability to navigate a world where my value is measured in dollars, I will enter this next phase of my life without the burden of feeling like I have to change.

I wish we could embrace our diversity instead of perpetuating this polarized way of thinking. Everything is a continuum. There is very little black and white. My attitude toward money is not incorrect. Money does change people. Wealthy people often act differently than those who have less. Measuring a human being’s value in dollars is unhealthy.

While it may be more reductive and limiting to focus on the negative aspects of money, it is also important to tell an accurate story. This is just one of the reasons it is important to recognize those of us who are different.

Just because our ideas don’t agree with the overly positive descriptions of reality doesn’t make us wrong.

I write here on Medium and at www.chrisburcher.com. I also host The Neurodivergent Professor podcast and YouTube channel.

[aurora-boreanaz]

When I did not have a degree, I thought once I earned one, my life would be neat and put together.

Now I have a degree and I'm still completely lost. Less so than before, but still uncertain.

I don't regret the degree. I regret putting so much importance and attention on it and not giving more of my time to the people who are important to me.

There is always going to be something. It is not the degrees you have, the money you make, or the things you own that give you a stable life. It's the people who you share your life with.

That being said, people still need money to live and deserve a minimum wage.

[ms-boogie-man]

Oh boy! Here is a good one yo! I will unpack this item by item… and… debunk as I go

There is not any restoring RvW. There should never have been a RVW. RvW was a federal decision, it was never passed into any sort of law at the federal level. That said, abortion is a state issue. Norma McCorvey (Jane Roe) was paid by the Democrat party to lie at the hearings that led to the RvW decision. She admitted this willingly. Her lies made the case. At the time and up until less than a decade ago, Democrats promised all up and down the imaginary aisle that abortion would be careful and rare. They have done nothing of the sort. Democrats have turned what was once only allowable in the 1st trimester into a baby can be murdered on the birthing table at 9 months old simply because his or her mommy said so. Hundreds of thousands of abortions happen every year… not because it is the right thing to do, but because millions of women have been brainwashed to believe murdering their unborn is a right of theirs; and that abortion should be as easy as a Taco Bell drive-thru. *Abortion is the murder of an independent life. Full stop. This is scientifically proven and indisputable. Murder — of the innocent and defenseless — in our republic is unconstitutional. Now, would you still like to roll this issue back to the fed?? I thought not yo. Take what you got and run home

We the People do not live in a democracy. We the People live in a republic, a constitutional republic. Our republic needs protection from the globalist, tyrannical, oppressive Democrats. Dems are the only current threat to any measure of democracy in America

The healthcare industry needs to be reigned in. Not by government, but by real journalists outing the truth about big pharma and the medical professionals colluding with BF. The cures for diseases and ailments need to be exposed, and We the People need to push back. I am open to very limited conservative governing involvement in this, but I would really like for We the People to regulate this healthcare shit show… and rest assured, the Democrats are part of the corruption here

Paul Ryan is a GOP shill for the Democrats. He was a rebranded Dem doing their dirty work so Dems could always blame Republicans for the Social Security and Medicare fiasco. Here is SS and Medicare explained: you pass legislation — without We the People's knowledge or permission — to deduct money from lower and middle class incomes, put it in a make-believe fund that the people can tap into later, then you launder all the money back to yourselves and say that SS and Medicare are not working out so well. Too, print and print more money so you can pay the pittance that does actually get doled out to recipients *When you are a Democrat politician, if you run across a Republican who will not shill for you, bribe, coerce, or take them aside and put them in a compromising position with a child or prostitute. Uncooperative Republican problem solved yo

The students who need debt relief were grifted by Obama and his banker friends into taking out exorbitant loans for degrees that do not/can not earn… and in some cases, all that debt did not even culminate in a degree. Fuck them. FAAFO

Voting is a responsibility. Period dot, the end. If you are an American citizen, 18 or older, with not any criminal record, it is your responsibility to amble on down to one of the polling stations located in every neighborhood and do your duty. No expansion of any rights needed here. *fully prepped for any moron who wants to bring up illegal migrants voting in American elections. American citizen, 18+, no criminality.

The minimum wage is over inflated as it is, and is one of the main drivers for the high cost of living across America. The correct way to generate more money is to make yourself and what you have to offer more valuable… not by passing legislation to force people to pay $25 ph for a service that is not worth $25 ph. *that is fucking retarded and just like a Democrat

All gun laws are an infringement. What part of … shall not be infringed did you not understand? And since all gun violence in this country is the work of liberal policies and tactics, I would say you have been fooled into disarming yourself for someone who is planning on doing to you that which you would shoot them for, and now you cannot. *I am fully prepared to slay in debate over this topic, so bring it, and careful as you go

There is no climate change *fully prepped to slay in debate over this as well

The only taxes the Democrats ever levy is on the middle and lower classes. *again, fully prepped to go toe to toe on this issue as well

This last one is moronic. Everyone in America — 18 or older — has reproductive freedom. If you want to have babies and make a family, then make them. If you do not wish to make a family, do not have sex, or use protection or some method of not achieving pregnancy. See?!… reproductive freedom yo. No defense needed. *and if laws in your state are going against this, vote to change those laws… but abortion is still murder of an independent, defenseless little human being. And of course there are the 3: rape/incest, major birth defects in the baby, major danger to the mother. End of list… and provide proof; we are talking murder here

Extra Credit: I am going to start arming the unborn. The Glock 39 … I believe it is offered in 9mm. If not, I am sure the little totts are cool with .40 cal yo

Block me, prove me right yo

Angie/Maddie🦇❥✝︎🇺🇸

Here is What Democrats Are Fighting For

Vote Blue, Vote Democrat! 💙🇺🇲

Instagram

[chido2001]

A long post about Filial piety from my point of view (Part 1)

First of all, I think I need to make things clear: this is not a philosophical post nor sth religious, political etc. This is just a post for me to talk about something that is happening to me involving household problems, parental problem, and some of principal Filial piety that making me thinking, cause Idk how long can I carry on without letting things off my chest. Yes, I should have came up with a more close-to-the-ground title, but it's 2 a.m now and I don't have enough energy for brainstorming. Also pardon me if you find this post somewhat hard to follow. I just write down things that came up in my mind, I will edit them later if conditions are met. English is also not my native language, so excuse my grammar and vocabs.

I came from a common family. When I said "common family", I meant it. My parents are both blue collar workers. Both growing up in the time of Vietnam concentrated economy, both dropped out of school as soon as they were able to earn money. So, yeah, not really coming from a long line of artist or scholar lineage. And heck we definite don't have a penny to our name

Mom used to work in a clothes factory as long as I could remember, until the paycheck no longer be able to cover the expense. She retired, .Even now she's still doing the same thing, picking up orders from shop owners, doing her parts, and delivering the products back. She's the one responsible for the tuition fee of me and my brother, and so far , she's the one putting me through college. Tbh, though I'm helping her as much as I can , I am not really fond of her job. Back in the freshman year, I many time found myself felling desperate while helping her ironing the details.

Dad works many years as a security guard for a real estate corporation, in which my uncle works as a desk-job-worker (idk what's his position, but he definitely helped my dad landing his job). He used to be assigned to some of the comp establishment, until finally rooting in a wet market near house. Back in the day, he also worked as a somewhat motorcycle tavi driver (it's like Uber drive, but for bike, and before the apps), but as time went, he got older, and Idk if he is still doing this, but it's less likely, since he's really adapting to the modern technology (but to somewhat degree, it's still causing troubles, but I will get to that).

We lived as a nuclear family (4 members, recently adopted a dog, so 5), but my fatherside relatives literally live next door, and we all live in smalls houses in a small alleys, pretty much counted as an extended family. So, yeah, I grew up from a typical-minimum-wage common Asian nuclear-extended family. To be frank, the minimum wage is only achieved some what when I was in the secondary school. I remember many time my aunt have to bring over food for my dinner cause there's nothing on the table beside white rice, fish sauce, boiled vegetable and water of it. And especially as an Asian family, we are still very much influenced by traditions and customs, and undoubtedly, Asian generational bad habbit.

Let's start with the less problematic one, my Mom. As a child raised by an 100% pure-blood, out-of-mold Asian mom, I can assure you that those memes on the internet about them is very much true, more or less. Cause growing up, there's two things I can be sure my mom has for me: expectation, and strict parenting. As far as I can remember, the first essay I wrote at school was "Write a letter to a friend and talk about your dream job", and I pretty sure I wrote that I "...want to be rich, and to achieve that dream, I will go for financial college...". I was 7-8 then. I liked super heroes, I liked games, I like toys like other boys...and for some reason, that idea has been implanted into my mind since childhood, and I'm pretty sure I didn't get that from my dad.

"...But she's your mom. It's normal for her to have high hopes for her kids..." . Yes, I'm not blaming her for that. And to be honest, compare to many other typical Asian moms, her expectation for us is much more simple: all she wants is a house in Dalat to enjoy her old age there alone.

(For those who don't know, Dalat is like a resort city in my country. Located in the highland region, heavily influenced by French architecture, well known for its fauna diversity, it's like those European travel destinations, but in Vietnam.)

In short, she wanted to have a problem-free, carefree future, and sure, that's the least thing I can do for her, since she's the one that looks after me all the time. One thing about Asian household is that it's heavily matriarch, and mine is no exception. My mom is the one taking care of our needs (she bought clothes, toys, anything we want that appropriate), our academic performances (she paid the tuition fees, and she spent everything she had just to give us the best education) and especially our health. I was born with some physical flawns, the "God perfected, and I defected/ I was made wrong" problems, especially with the testicles, and many time in my growing, my mom had to be the one paying my medical bills AND taking care of my sick little body. I remember when I was in the age of ten, I went through a major operation, it was mom who had to go around, borrow money from every person she knew to pay for the operation and medicines, and it took her quite a while to pay it all back. Even now, whenever I feel under the weather, it's still my mom that I go for to tell about my condition.

But back to the main point, she takes care of us, it's obviously we have to take a good care of her, no doubt. But growing up under her wings, there's one thing that really holding her from being a perfect mother (I know I sound like a dick here, but tbh, I haven't found a way to address this differently), at least in my view: overcomparison, both herself and others in her household to other. See, in our Vietnamese culture, there's this thing called "con nhà người ta" (the other kids). Growing up, you will be constantly be compared to those other kids. You didn't get a good mark in the exam? "Those other kids could make it, why couldn't you". You said that the other kids couldn't do better? "That's the other kids problems. It's YOU problem". In short, the perfect comparison/ excuse to be yelled at.

And in my case, it's somewhat worse.

Cause to me, that other kid did exist.

And she was my aunt.

She was two year older. And unlike me, her household is much more stable. She went to prestige schools, and her academic performances is way better. She's also well behaved and hard working, etc.

In short, the perfect Golden Child

Don't get me wrong. I love my aunt (that sounds a little bit wrong, but yes, I do love her). We are really close (probably somewhat due to our small age gap). She's always like a sister to me. And nowadays, I usually come to her when I need advice at all sort of stuffs (We're also major in I.T, so yeah, a lot of advices needed).

But growing up being compared to her is not a pleasant memories, though I don't really have much problem with that.. Mostly when my mom made those comparisons, it's after the parent-teacher meetings, and usually in those meeting, I was said to be "troublesome", more or less. But tbh, before high school, I wasn't sure if I was such a headache. A little bit talkative in elementary, mostly bad hand writing in junior high, nothing serious. Yes I admit I was full blown awful in high school: late attendance, skipping class( due to being late), dozing off in class, etc. And nowadays, hearing my mom recalled those meeting, I don't think the problem was as big as an elephant like it seemed to be.

I cannot be objective about this, cause now looking back, I'm not sure if I was a well-behaving. You see, as a tailor, my mom used stick and ruler a lot. She used to had this one particular stick that was like carved from a intact wood body. So slim, yet so thick that every time you swang it, you could here the sound of the air splitted, and when it hit the flesh with enough force, it would leave a mark that lasted for days.She used to use that stick to spank us, disciplined us when we're not well behaving. And unfortunately, I'm the elder one. I grew up with smacks on my bottom, so much that one of my aunt had to warn my brother to behave cause "You didn't get smacked in the butt as much as your brother did". And usually the reason I got smacked, as I can recall, was probably because I was lying, or I ripped pages out of my notebook. My brother was lucky that it got lost somewhere.

But the worst case of my disciplining didn't involve the stick. It was when I in the 2nd grade. Mom was still a factory worker, Dad usually home so he made lunch for me. I used to walk home during noon time, and go back to school at the begining of the afternoon. There're those shops near school that sold toys and candies which many times caught my attention. As a kid, I didn't have much allowance. So, when I saw some cash lying around, being on the altar for spiritual reason, or around for some reason, I constantly took some of them. Things got worse, to the point I started pick pocketing my parent's wallet. Soon after that, no doubt that my mom caught me red handed. And comes one of my biggest childhood trauma moment: my mom walking into the bedroom, with a knife. And I can still remember she saying "It's you or me. Your choice". It seems that my dad had a bad habit of stealing money from my mom, even before I was born. So seeing her kids following that footstep is not an option.

Another time I broke her heart is nack in junior high. I usually hang out at the internet cafe (it's like the arcade center, but with computers) near my school which was conveniently near my house. My mom was already having a bad impression about those places, deeming them as "nests of bad habit", plus the senior year of junior high was considered more important than the highschools, due to the entry exam that you can only participate once in a lifetime. You could say that she was more or less sitting on the fire then. And because I went to a local school, she got a pretty tight grip of my schedule. I was caught red handed being in those place no less than five time. The worst time was when she decided to smashed that one usb I used to download film into so that I could watch them at home (we didn't have wifi nor pc at home back then). I did recall it clearly that I said "Why don't you just unalive me already?". I didn't really remember what happened after that, but I'm pretty sure we didn't see eyes to eyes for at least a week. And yeah, back then my concept of life and stuffs was pretty twisted, probably affected by things considered "edgy". And that's definitely the most stupid thing I have ever said. Nowaday, I don't even dare to address any problem that unthoughtfully. But yeah, words for future parents: brace yourself for the tween/ teenage, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

But well, as I getting older, I realized that all of those high expectations and strict parenting was so that my brother and I can grow up to be "decent people". She has sacrificed most of her life to this family, to us. So much that even when considering thing from a respective point of view, even I couldn't ask for more (and it will be ungrateful if I ever let those thoughts out loud). Even though I used to think that her hopes and dreams for me was strangling me, or still I think that putting all your hopes and dream on the shoulder of your kids to carry is not the most suitable things, I can't deny that everything she has done is for our best, and so I try to meet some of her expectations. I got into university, "The top university of engineering of the whole nation" more precisely (it's like MIT in comparison), so at least she has sth to be proud of so far. I had this job as a English tutor in my first few years in college, when I always use my paycheck from that to help her with the bills. And yeah, I am still going to hold my end of bargain, I will tried to help her get her dream house, sooner or later.

And for my money problem, tbh nowadays, I don't even want to ask money from my parents (only when I need to refill the bike, and the account is lower than the minimum withdrawn threshold), let alone steal it.

But, as all things in life connect to each other one way or another. My mom habit of comparing somehow affects to the major problem in my household: my Dad.

--To be continued--

P/s: I intended to make it all into one post, but yeah so much things to say that I have to consider. And because my Dad is , in my pov, more of a problem than my mom has ever been, I think I have to deliver this carefully.

Thank you, Mom, for everything. It's my sins that I will never says "Thank you" or "I love you" enough.

[halloumie]

23 june 2022

a phone interview today, and some in-person and online interviews next week. i feel a bit more hopeful now that i'm starting to get interviews again. not just about my job prospects -- talking to real people, even strangers, makes me feel better and more connected.

called an immigration specialist today, since ainan and i have been thinking about me going on the partner visa, but i do want to study next year, which would complicate matters since i'd have to get on the student visa. strange half answers. the specialist said that it didn't matter how much i earned apparently, it had to be ainan earning the 18.6k. we'll be consulting another solicitor.

the specialist heard a strange voice on my end of the call. big shivers scaling the stairs of my building alone, thinking about how scared she sounded. my parents think the lines intercepted. i suspect i played something from my voice mail, but how could a caller listen to my voice mail?

went back to solving leetcode today after a break of 2-3 weeks of despair, induced by not getting any software engineering interviews. watching ainan solve algorithms reminds me of how much i enjoy it also, the frustration, the murky understanding and sometimes how things work. often they don't and i'm being increasingly ok with that.

i do want to pursue a postgrad in cs. i'd like to do computational linguistics at a research institution and have faculty support. i'd like to not have to choose dead end jobs forever and start a career in software engineering. i'd like to be able to explore cs in an academic setting, potentially pursuing something in the field of digital humanities or compling for a phd eventually. but mainly, i want to be doing something at work that feels like i'm learning and improving on a craft. i've been wanting to study cs formally for a while now.

and i want to acknowledge that rising feeling of betrayal. that yes, i am a lit person and i have studied lit, but it's ok to study something else too. i'm not turning my back on my appreciation for writing just because i'm curious about another field. not a sellout, because i'm not pursuing it just for potential future financial reward.

and it's okay to have desires and curiosity shaped by the world around me and its demands. i don't have to go off into a sensory deprivation chamber like siddhartha to discover who i am.

we're closing in on a deal for the house. ordered some furniture to come in next month. i want the interior to be japandi, and he's fine with that. it's amazing how we've managed to stuff all our belongings in a tiny room so far. but again, i haven't been earning any money so there has been no possibility of buying anything.

right now i want to be financially comfortable enough to not panic and worry everyday. be able to pay council tax, finance a car and get a dog. so any job is okay. minimum wage is a pretty good deal, compared to sg.

and if working here is anything like i've experienced at volunteering so far, it will be far less abusive and unsettling than working in singapore.

i get heat headaches these days because it's summer. i sneeze when in pain, and my face feels clogged up so i know it's a sinus headache. these headaches are so often now that it's hot in the afternoon. and i'm acknowledging how much i've suffered in sg heat. it only gets up to 27 degrees so far. today was 25. the way the building traps heat doesn't help but still. i really did suffer in singapore.

so the past week has been spent applying on jobs (i used indeed this time and got a bunch of responses), helping out at the bookstore, panic scrolling reddit, finally settling around evenings to watch dougoug live or on yt. ainan and i have been watching black books, which is enjoyable.

the evenings are a relief as the temperature drops to around 20 degrees and i sit by the open window. i feel better when the sun's out, almost like i'm permitted to breathe better.