#i have a conspiracy that someone back in the day made a joke account to roleplay as a communist or whatever
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I think this website just hates mutual aid. Everyone is isolationist and actively pushing each other away for minor grievances. There was already tons of whining about the wording of donation posts where people were genuinely fearing for their lives. The only reason it's so prevalent now is because they get to be racist about it.
I know somebody being homeless and somebody who's the victim of a genocide aren't at all comparable but seeing how people act on here it's getting harder and harder every day to not have a no true scotts moment because it seems like only a handful of people actually believe the things they say and the rest treat current events as just a tax they have to pay in order to talk about their fandoms more
#i have a conspiracy that someone back in the day made a joke account to roleplay as a communist or whatever#and everyone went along with it without knowing and somehow that lead to the current disposition of the userbase#where everyone pretends to be their school bullies in a warped view of what being cool and popular is like#all in an attempt to reclaim the confidence they lost by being the weird kid in their class#and that's not getting into the issues with exclusionists#and begging from both the mentally and physically disabled to be given so much as time of day let alone treated with respect#anyway all this to say that i have a small grudge against gabs for trying to shame me for spreading dono posts w/ rbs of long winded whinin#yea that guys eyes totally glazed over when they saw red text on a computer screen lmfao shut the fuck up you heartless bastards#inane ramblings
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So privacy has been violated OR...
... a smear campaign has begun.
Let's just get this new dating scandal out of the way so we can get back to buying and streaming...
Listen, I don't share unofficial content, but by now everyone in this tag knows there's a video going around that's supposed to be of JK in his apartment with Bam, walking around back-hugging and perhaps kissing a girl. Folks say there's the same couch, same wall panel, and a mood lamp.
I'm side-eyeing this because it's super grainy footage, the windows are different, the wall panel seems to be in different places in the two videos, the guy is shorter than the girl, and he's wearing a mask indoors. Plus, the account that dropped the videos supposedly posted then promptly closed up shop, which seems like they had the intention for deliberate sabotage instead of clout chasing as a sasaeng.
But people say the apartment set up seems really similar and the man has a similar hairstyle to what JK had in the beginning of 2023. So I guess it's Schrodinger's cat at this point.
(Isn't it curious that apartment-related scandals seem to happen on the day new content drops? Hmm... I digress.)
Look... If Jungkook (or Jimin) ends up dating someone else, I'm still going to support them as individuals. I'll be sad of course, because Jikook had AMAZING chemistry and I was really rooting for them to be together forever and all... but, I want them to be happy and fulfilled more than I want them to fit into any fantasy or ideas of my own.
That being said: at this very moment, half of Jimin's insta feed is about Jungkook. Most of Jungkook's lives for 2023 have JK mentioning Jimin, or even being totally focused on Jimin. There's years of super duper sus history between them. Right up to and including yesterday, where Jimin very heavily implied they are sharing Chuseok together.
It feels really weird to me that Jimin would want to tie JK's hair back neatly, call JK baby, beg JK to stay longer at his rehearsal, and joke that he can handle seeing JK naked -- but JK can't come over to shower and visit b/c Jimin says he just isn't that easy... if JK were in a relationship with someone else.
It also feels really weird to me that JK would light up like a super nova any time Jimin commented on his lives, would beg Jimin to hang out, would sing all of Jimin's songs and memorize Jimin's interview content, would travel with Jimin for his debut, then roll around naked in bed grinning and blushing while flirting with Jimin on live... if JK were in a relationship with someone else.
That would make Jungkook kind of a shitty boyfriend and Jimin kind of a shitty friend.
I know Jungkook is cultivating this cool guy/ladies man image right now and that is kinda baffling. I know friends can play-flirt, too... but to do all that on lives, after all their history together, knowing what half of Korea and ARMY thinks? Hm.
That's not "fanservice;" that's really toeing the line of queerbaiting. And it's really hard for me to imagine Jimin or Jungkook doing something like that. Jimin said he hates fake bromance stuff. (I guess anything is possible. It's a new chapter, after all. Maybe it's par for the course in idol-world.)
Hey, maybe Jikook had an amicable break up but are still really close and are fine teasing each other? Maybe they always liked to flirt but never were together? Maybe I've been reading it all wrong this whole time? Or maybe this is a bullshit video?
Whatever the reality is, I'm prepared to acknowledge it. At any time.
I'm not in a cult. I don't have to convince myself of anything. Jikook's behavior had made me think Jikook were in a relationship. If JK is dating someone else now? Okay then. I will just stop posting Jikook content and continue to help OT7 and celebrate my bias with all my heart.
No need for elaborate conspiracy theories or coping histrionics. If JK is in his Loving Women Era, good for him. Go with god, my brother. (Personally, I'd never recover from losing my chance to be with Thee Park Jimin, but that's me!)
But something about this just doesn't quite feel right. I wonder if he'll address it at all, like he did when folks filmed him in his gym or sent food to his home? Because if this is somehow real, it's a HORRIBLE invasion of privacy; home is supposed to be a safe place, and stalkers are scary.
And if it's not real, then someone is going to an AWFUL lot of trouble to overshadow Jungkook's release and upcoming album and that is unhinged. The kind of trouble that reminds me of apartment break-ins and tampered mail.
In any case, like I said: I'm ready to accept whatever the reality is, once the reality becomes clear.
I really love Jungkook. I really love Jimin. I really love BTS. They were there for me at the darkest, lowest point in my life. So whether I was right or wrong about Jikook, it doesn't really matter. In the end, I support them as far as I can.
But also, I sorta think this video may just be bullshit. So let's let them have their privacy, and focus instead on voting for Jimin and buying and streaming for JK instead, hmm? Eventually the truth will come to light.
No matter what happens, let's behave in a way that would make Jimin and Jungkook proud.
Love, Roo
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1. The Letter That Started It All
On a sunny day in late May, I received a letter from someone whom I'd corresponded with on a story years earlier. The letter was confusing and fairly alarming. I will attach it here:
Something is going on here. I'm missing time. I can't seem to remember what my job is, but I know I've been doing it. And I get all warm inside when I think about work. A little voice in my head is saying I'm doing a good job. But at WHAT? I wake up at night from dreams that… I can't remember. Or won't remember. Or don't want to remember. My clothes don't fit anymore. When I ask the people here who used to be my friends they all tell me not to worry. That it just means I'm settling in to the job. I don't think I want to settle in. But I also can't seem to leave. Please help me. Emily Voss
Emily had recently taken a job at Sunda Systems, a global conglomerate with it's research headquarters in a North Carolina town known as Eden Springs. Her position was that of an Administrative Assistant in the Optical Research Division.
According to a phone call I'd had with her just after her hiring, she took this position in early April after having been recruited by another employee. I believe his last name was Varas, though I am admittedly basing that on an unremarkable memory from months ago.
That phone call was the last I spoke with Emily until this letter arrived. That was not uncommon. We were not very close friends, just acquaintances and occasional collaborators. She wasn't one to kid around very much, but I couldn't shake the idea that this was all just a practical joke.
Something in the back of my head was convinced that nothing bad could be happening at Sunda. After all their motto is "Connected in Harmony." I have a Sunda modem and router combo here in my apartment, though I'd never given it a second thought until I began this project.
It is for this reason, and a deep regret, that I ignored her letter for days. But it kept nagging at me and so I decided to do some cursory digging. After the glowing reviews from top brass in various governments and corporations, I found a small post on a forum devoted to conspiracy theories. I will post it's contents here:
Does anyone think it's strange that S*nda S*st*ms has a positions listed on their job boards seeking psychologists, psychiatrists, and neurologists? Any company that big has got to be up to no good.
The post is still visible in it's archived form, however the user, who went by w3bofli3s_222 made no posts after that one, and their account has been deactivated. No contact information was available for them.
For their part, that did appear to be true. The job listing website "Karear" contained the above listing for a Behavioral Psychologist who would be making six figures.
What would an internet infrastructure company need with a behavioral psychologist? And what work would they be doing that would allow them a bonus?
Out of curiosity, I inquired. Two hours later, I received a phone call from an unlisted North Carolina area code. The following is a transcript of the relevant parts of that call:
R: Hello there! My name is Reggie. I'm so happy you're interested in the psych position. How can I be of assistance. I: Hello Reggie. It's nice to hear from you. My name is Helen, which I'm sure you know from the form I filled out. I've been job hunting and I was wondering what exactly the job entails. R: Of course I'd be glad to explain everything. Have you heard of our company before? Perhaps you've used one of our devices? I: Yes, my internet provider uses your routers. R: Wonderful. Then you know that our mission is to make the world Connected in Harmony! To that end, we employ several psychological experts to act in concert with human resources. We have some of them monitoring employee morale and productivity. Some act as advisors to help us maintain healthy work cultures. And some act as councilors that are available to our staff. I: That is quite impressive... R: The position we are currently seeking to fill would be one of the advisory roles. We want our employees to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible while on the job. It's very important to us that our employees feel at home here; that they can breath easy and lose all their stress. Would you agree that's important. I: Yes... I would... R: That's good. It's important that prospective employees share our values, the first of course being Connected in Harmony. When people are together, they are understood. When people are understood, they fear less. And when people fear less, they relax more. I: ... R: Helen are you there? I: What? Oh sorry yes! I was just looking at my notes. Now the website mentioned a bonus structure? R: Yes, that's something that we could talk about that more in-depth during a formal interview. We like to reward our advisors when things are running smoothly. If employees are happy, then the psych team is doing it's job well. I: Okay well I think I have what I need for know. Thank you for taking the time to talk. R: Of course. I look forward to seeing your application soon.
It was an odd call. I found myself almost nodding off as he spoke, though I was sure I'd gotten a full night's sleep. I came away from it believing that things couldn't be as bad as Emily made them seem. Sunda was a good company determined to do good in the world.
Right?
But as I logged into my computer, I noticed the little light was on that signals the webcam was active. I checked through all my open windows and nothing should have been accessing the camera. And as I stared at it, confused, it blinked off.
I guess it could have been a glitch, but just in case, I got a small piece of electrical tape and covered the webcam. I left the light exposed, though. Better to know than to blind myself, too.
It was such a little thing, but it was enough. Emily's letter. The weird job listing. The call that made me feel so strange. And now the mysterious webcam activation. It was too many oddities to write off.
It was time to start investigating in earnest.
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After many months of sporadically yelling my thoughts in various posts.........it is time.
*turns out there's like, so much competition for being the worst dad in this galaxy **a biased account from someone with their own very mid dad
Read on for an unnecessarily lengthy argument and just make sure to picture me like this the whole time
The Evidence:
Similarities/parallels between them
Shapeshifting -- They both transform so fully and easily from rebel mode to fancy rich asshole and back again throughout the show. Others do as well, but not nearly as often as they do and not nearly as sharp contrast from one thing to another
Quick tempers -- Evident from the way they snap at each other and the people they work with
Familiar framing -- There’s nothing accidental in this show. I believe the below photos draw a very deliberate, if subtle, parallel between them. We don’t see any of the other rebels using a stick like that, and Luthen's doesn't seem to actually have a function besides making youtubers believe he's a Jedi (I have a whole spin-off conspiracy theory on that we can get into some other day if you ask me)
Blonde -- Obviously. Though it seems Vel's hair is changing for season two. Perhaps a hint that she is trying to distance herself from her father's influence? (okay this part is mostly a joke but then I talked myself into something)
Also, this brand new page from the Dawn of Rebellion visual guide book that made me go !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because, you know, proximity is everything. It would have made much more sense for Kleya to be on this page and Vel to be beside Cinta on the next page, right? Nope, not if there's a deeper connection here!
Their first interaction
Even before we meet Vel, Luthen predicts to Cassian exactly how she will react to them being there
He first tries to greet her with a big fake grin. Big time dad behavior to act like none of the past shit between you has ever gone down. But Vel remembers, doesn’t buy the act
Basically their interaction is just very familiar and informal, then breaks down quickly because of their attitudes toward each other
Vel is being very childish for most of it, pacing around, not keeping eye contact, then fully acting like a kid who doesn’t want to pick up their toys (see above picture)
Which then brings the Big Dad Energy from Luthen - "LOOK AT ME!!" he yells. The dadest dad behavior to ever dad. I can so easily picture this from my dad. "Look at me when I'm talking to you! Do what I say!" You have no choice but to shut up and obey unless you want to lose your allowance heist mission
Maybe he does actually care?
The night before the heist, Luthen is acting very strange, so much so that Kleya calls him out for being nervous. This is understandable given the stakes. BUT!
“They’re either going to be okay out there or they’re not” from Kleya is interesting. Be okay, rather than do okay. Like she knows he’s particularly worried about their safety, about one person’s safety especially?
And Vel’s mentioned in the very next line, reminding us of their connection again: "Vel's the only one who traces back" -- could be because she’s the only one who’s seen him, but who would actually be able to “trace” that??
Vel's need for approval
Veeerrryyyyy familiar to every eldest daughter constantly ignored by dad, seen most prominently in her interactions with Kleya
First right after the heist -- "Where is he?" ... "He read your message." "I really thought he'd be here?" Oh? Why's that? Why would he be there unless it was personal? Unless there was some sort of expectation of praise for the job well done, or comfort after losing so much of the team?
Later, before Ferrix, Vel won't give Kleya the information about Maarva's death until she secures the "I'll make sure he knows where it came from" promise from her
Rebellion is a family affair
"But Chip, Vel can't be related to Mon and Luthen!" Why not? There's nothing really that says Luthen isn't/can't be Mon's uncle
In fact, it might even make it easier to understand how a prominent Senator who's outwardly so centrist and careful could get Luthen's attention -- they always knew each other!
Anyway, a visual aid made months ago by @jedi-valjean, outlining the possible family tree, along with what seems to be the typical Chandrilan matriarchal naming conventions:
Vel Sartha, nepo baby
Vel absolutely does not have the experience or the stomach to be leading a mission like Aldhani. Why did he let her? That's right, nepotism
Hints to this in both her interactions with Kleya -- first "this is what revolution looks like" and then "You're off the rails. You're lucky he's not here"
She's clearly not ready and messing things up, but she's not facing any consequences for it because of her proximity to Luthen
Their second interaction
The convo on Ferrix is less loaded but still interesting
Vel looking at him and greeting him with a hint of "oh so you do acknowledge that I exist....but only because I have the information you need"
Again, the way they talk to each other is oddly informal for a boss and subordinate. Plus at the end he gives her tasks like a dad handing out chores
(also seems to like saying Cinta's name to her. supportive of his daughter's girlfriend, that gets him some good dad points)
Luthen's talk with Lonni
pound for pound, this is the most important part outside of their first interaction
As Lonni comes down in the elevator, Luthen congratulates him on becoming a father to a "healthy, beautiful" daughter. Tells him he must be pleased
Lonni thinks he's being threatened, asks "Do you ever think how it might feel from my side?" And Luthen tells him "I think about you constantly."
This. Shit. Makes. Me. CRAZY.
Because Luthen *was* Lonni. Just a guy with a daughter, trying to fight for something better
Also he sacrifices Kreegyr and all his men just to keep Lonni’s cover from being blown. Obviously that’s selfish on one hand, he gets to keep his spy, but also….Lonni’s daughter gets to keep her dad. I don’t think Luthen's just saying that to appease him. “You love your daughter," he says. The whole thing hits home for him and he thinks about it constantly
Basically the whole scene is a conversation between Luthen as he is now and Luthen as he could have been -- “Your investment in the rebellion is epic. A double life. Every day a performance.” He’s TALKING TO HIMSELF
And what does Luthen sacrifice? "...Kinship....Love" -- the love of his family? His kin? He may have his daughter in his life but they're hardly more than coworkers because of what they have to do. They're both sacrificing a real relationship with each other
"I burn my decency for someone else's future" -- he's sacrificed being a good father to fight and make a better future for his daughter!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The shoutout to his ego not having a "mirror" calls us back to Vel and Cinta's conversation, another probably deliberate thread supposed to connect them in our minds
"You'll stay with me, Lonni" can mean both that he's not letting Lonni out of this and, again, that he's always thinking of him (always thinking of that other version of his life)
The Conclusions
Putting together all the evidence and the fact that no one in the show seems to know about the connection between them, I can basically come to two possible conclusions:
Vel didn't find out this man was her father until she was already an adult
She knew him as a child but then he began making his calculations and left her and her mother
Either way, they would have gone years without interacting and thus it would be easy to hide their true connection once they've been reunited. And either way, their relationship would be as strained as it appears. Vel would want to have his attention and approval in a way she never did before, and Luthen would feel guilty enough to give her a job she hasn't really earned.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
#i've fully lost it#this was fun tho. no ragrets#andor#luthen rael#vel sartha#honestly feels like i still left some stuff out but good grief#my posts#bookmarks
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Curious to know your opinion on the ‘Paul is dead’ theory. I’ve personally always hated it cause I can never tell if people genuinely believe it or if it’s just kind of a ongoing joke at this point. I will say though that some of the “evidence” and theories make some sense.
Oh thank you for this question nonny!
PID is *fascinating* to me, because it is so insane. Conspiracy-thinking seems to be part of the human condition. I think there's a natural urge to investigate, and piece together evidence. But some theories are more plausible than others and PID is just so incredibly implausible. Why does anyone take it seriously? (Some people seem to get really upset about it!)
Sometimes you get conspiracy-thinking around otherwise reasonable ideas (like mclennon). Where there's enough evidence that you can make an argument in favour of it, and it's not that far-fetched, but there's secrecy involved so drawing conclusions requires a bit of digging. This can lead people down some silly avenues of thought.
But often they start as a joke (like flat earth), and then some people ended up really believing. PID is in the latter category. You can trace the origins back to a joke article in a college paper. A lot of the so-called evidence is just made up (like imaginary funeral traditions from far-off lands).
Here are a few questions I have:
Why?
Who benefits from replacing a singer-songwriter with such an exact replica? Why not admit Paul had died (sometime in the last 50 years)? Bands replace members, that's a normal thing to happen. Why would the Queen get involved?
When?
When did they find such a believable replacement, train him to play and sing like James Paul McCartney, do beyond-world-class surgery on him?
How?
If someone has developed plastic surgery that effective, would they use that technology to change the world, or would they help replace one (1) singer-songwriter? How can you train a person to so effectively mimic someone with so many unique features?
Who?
How many people are involved in this thing? All of Billy's family, all of James Paul McCartney's (sizeable) family, the Queen. How could it possibly be kept under wraps?
(I really wanted a 'where' but I just couldn't think of one. Dammit.)
---
The photos with 'proof' are so funny to me, because it's so hard to make accurate measurements based on photos (even if you know the exact lighting and settings on the camera). And they never seem to take into account that a face changes as a person ages, cartilage continues to grow, and men's jaws often keep filling out. Skin loosens. And rockstars have plastic surgery (of the real, actually available, kind).
Of all the people to claim was replaced, they pick someone with such a magical mix of asymmetry and prettiness and androgyny. There's no one like him!
I'm intrigued what 'evidence' you've seen that makes sense to you nonny! Please send a followup ask with more details.
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postnote: My favourite posts about PID are for some reason proving impossible to find, if anyone has them please send a link! (Is it a conspiracy? *Gasp*).
Mothman - some genius noticed that Mothman's first appearance was days after Paul's supposed death, could Paul have faked his own death to become a cryptid, only to have his friends double-fake it?
Twink death - I had never heard of twink death until someone posted along the lines of "the first time the world was exposed to twink death on a large scale, the only way they could process it was by concluding he actually died".
Oh, and I also recommend the short film Paul Is Dead. It's very strange, and very funny.
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Jesus, some people on here are just messed up, like I'm just bored clicking around get on this one person's account bout to go back cause boring boring boring...
Like holy fucking
This was one of the most half incoherent bat shit rant I've read in a while, that left me feeling confused upset and like unfairly attacked,
Like they start off being pissy about '21 somethings who can buy weed legally'
And then jumps to us in Colorado specifically,
Which starts to piss me off right there I love my state, as much as I get wanderlust time to time and like to try living elsewhere I'm born an raised like I wanna say fifth generation? Coloradan
This is my home,
It's one thing when people make Mile 'high' jokes those are usually in good humor and I think they're funny,
But this person just going off about us in particular about how 'easy' we got it
Oh I'm sorry how easy 21 somethings got it cause apparently they don't realize us 'old' folk also buy the legal drugs,
And all our options and how people from their state are coming here and bring our 'poison' into their state,
The 'poison' they apparently are so pissed they don't have easy access to, 👀
And how their state could have make much better 'poison' 😕
And then I think it stopped with wishing we all get hit in the head with a hammer!?!?!
I mean sorry to clog up y'all's dash with this but I really gotta vent on this cause of all the fucking things to go off about,
And specifically all the things about Cannabis to go off about,
Like that there are still people in prison in legalized states for cannabis charges,
That we still haven't dropped calling it marijuana despite the racist origins of that name (mind you I still fuck up and call it that too sometimes,)
The whole bat shit 'marijuana' plot that sounds like it should be a cooky conspiracy that is 100% factual,
But instead this person is getting pissed cause it's legal in my state,
First off asshole Colorado isn't the only legalized state,
Next even if it was, guess what dickhead I can't control your state,
mine voted it into law to legalize cannabis and I'm super proud of that,
Um also just cause it's legal dose not equal easy, you have to have cash, and it's not fucking cheap,
I've been experimenting with cannabis edibles and have been finding how amazingly helpful it is for me,
I have a shit load 'wrong' with me that's undiagnosed will remain so, and even if I was diagnosed and looking into meds they likely wouldn't work for me, I have something wrong with me that taking any kind of medication more then a couple days even as prescribed down to the exact hour, fucks me up,
I get start getting really bad side effects like day three, I was on fucking aspirin for a bit while super sick a few years ago I got tendinitis so bad I wanted to die for like two days,
I've even avoided being on shit what's the anti pregnancy pill called, um fuck, I've avoided it cause im not having sex and my periods are real good, I worry what I'll do if I ever get into a romantic relationship with a dude, probably will only be able to be with someone whose clipped,
I was on sleeping pills for a bit, one of the side effects was suicidal thoughts, guess who got that and all the fucking other ones, including dry mouth so bad I thought I'd die,
For some reason cannabis doesn't fuck me up at all, it helps it really fucking helps me even if I'm on it a lot,
It's the only thing that has ever fucking made my mind a not just okay place to be, but a great one,
And money is right so I can't have like constant access to it, I may at some point be able to get it at all,
And this dickhead thinks I should get a hammer to the head!?!
I try to let internet stuff slide off me but fuck if reading that didn't just royally upset me,
Just, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you pig fucking, dildo humping, cum sucking bag of broken sticks shit on by cats with the runs, mother fucker,
hope you step on cat shit every day of your life and that your hated by corvids everywhere,
Okay I feel better and yes I did block them they had another post that seemed a bit suspect especially after reading that post and no I didn't say shit to them what's the point
Edit looked at it again, it was ceiling fan fall on your head not hammer
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salvaged from deviantart
It's venting time!
you know there's people that harassed me for my (unique) fan-ideas and my views of the world and the clowns that I pitted against each other here are tops these people(often in terms of making flame wars against me among others) not only anyone else that don't like my work don't bullies me as much as those I pitted here:
Innocent-Darkside (also used to known as Steelrazorclaw in Deviantart or Dave in HTFSocial): back when I took residence in HTFSocial(at the time I thought it as HTF Fansite that doubles as Social network), I learns in Hard Way that it's people hate me for being (so-called) Conspiracy Theorist that make massive crossovers (even when fair amount of them has managed to forgive me recently over this). one of them that stands out from other HTFSocial regulars was Innocent-Darkside(he hate even other HTFSocial regs likely for their forgiveness for me).
Around the time where shortly after I got banned from HTFSocial(for dumb reasons), TerraTerraCotta overreacts to my ideas(likely due to giving any Pokemon and Digimon human characters superpowers here, something that even other mon animes have balls to do it) and blocked me for either this reason, as I fed up over lot of people blocked me(at the time), I asked everyone she know to unblock me only to prompt her to turn into her friend that also HTFSocial Regular, and then he attacks living hell out of me(look at their comment sections): epicxovermovie.webs.com/apps/b…epicxovermovie.webs.com/apps/b… (to be fair, I has deleted considerable amount of his comments in latter). plus, he also have edit war with me in TVtropes' page of Ani-toonspiracy shortly before it's deletion(which prompts me to make "Hitler Reacts" video over this where it's updated version that I post in Youtube attracts other like-minded person that attacked me for the same reason Innocent-darkside does, albeit the worse extent)
vs
Gtjerwp/SafeInternetProtocol/BasedAnon49/Mephistopheles65: during late 2016-early 2017, someone attacked me for the same reason Innocent-Darkside does, but on bigger extent. when I blocked him for first time, he coaxed me in his youtube comment on my Hitler Video(that I made over TVtropes rejecting my mega-crossover fan-project) and I fell to him there, and then it's worst day ever in the Internet(at least in Deviantart): web.archive.orga> where he defame my mega-crossover project not only for it's inclusion of Real World conspiracy Theories and related subjects, it also has Ash Ketchum become Pokemon master(in more reasonable timeframe) among other things. he also Hypocritical Canon Extremist(of both Real Life and Fiction) and he thinks all fanworks are Copyright Infringement while do Counter-fics against my work as
his beliefs was the ultimate reason Aliens never met us, no Phlebotinum exists no matter how technologically advanced Even we are, and so on (more often than not from making people pretending these never existed in our universe)
I even resorts to making online Petition to get rid of this person's accounts due to Deviantart's staff incompetence
recently I make a Kiwifarms thread about him only to be locked away by Kiwifarms mods
who would win in this Death Battle between those(whose disguises their harassment as Criticisms) that addressed here: www.deviantart.com/masonicon/j… not only both defame my project with either this argument: "whatever you write in any language other than native ones, you can only write OCs"
YOU CAN DISMISS THIS AS APRIL FOOL'S JOKE
In a Nutshell, both only cares about forcing everyone to pretends everything outside Skeptics' belief system never existed in our universe and banning Fanfics
to be fair, I don't want to associate anyone else(including even one where his HTF OC was the reason my mega-crossover have Spin-off) with these cyberbullies, and I don't mind what you believe and what you think as long as you don't jump to my throats like those that I pitted here
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SS Finals - Epilogue 1
Location: ES Dome White Team Stage Characters: Yuzuru & Eichi
Eichi: And with that, it seems “Gatekeeper” has retreated and gone back overseas.
Yuzuru: Hmm. It felt as if it was over too soon. Can that information really be trusted?
Eichi: You’ve gotten more distrustful, Yuzuru.
Yuzuru: That’s information from Nagisa Ran-sama, correct? He’s the one who kidnapped the Young Master as some lie or joke…
No. I cannot trust the person who decided to use the Young Master in the conspiracy theory he decided to spread himself.
Eichi: That’s not a nice way to put it. Nagisa-kun “protected” Touri.
Just like how “Gatekeeper” protected Anzu-chan during the Qualifying Rounds.
Yuzuru: So you’re saying not only did he protect the Young Master out of goodwill, but he also held him hostage, right?
If we betray him on the off chance, then the hostage would be hurt. If he threatened us that way, then we would have no choice but to stay put.
Eichi: In Anzu-chan’s case, it was a painful decision for me.
Because “Gatekeeper” had obtained the position of the leader of the “SS” Administration Committee in the very beginning.
He brazenly seized the “P-Association” and captured Anzu-chan like a bird in a cage before I noticed his presence and tried to do something.
I simply went to work and attended a meeting like any other day, only to discover that a mafia was waiting for me – It must have been a disaster for Anzu-chan as well.
Yuzuru: Hmm, after that, you belatedly noticed what was going on, negotiated with him and made him guarantee Anzu-chan’s safety, I see.
Eichi: Yeah. It seems “Gatekeeper” was rather fond of Anzu-chan.
It’s possible that he would have treated her well even if I didn’t do anything, though.
Did you hear? Apparently, “Gatekeeper” left Anzu-chan his card with a large amount of money in it and left the country.
I don’t think he did that as an apology for all the trouble he had caused, though.
Of course, Anzu-chan handed it to me saying she didn’t feel comfortable being in possession of so much money.
She said I’d know how to use it.
I gratefully accepted. I placed it in my bank account, turned it into clean money and I’m thinking of returning it to the other ES idols.
Money is still money no matter how dirty it is. I’ll make good use of the New Year’s gift from “Gatekeeper”.
Hehe. “Gatekeeper” must have been so fond of Anzu-chan that he had no qualms about letting her have that much money.
Maybe he liked that rebellious attitude of her’s – Those sorts of people are rare when you reach such a high position, after all.
Yuzuru: You also enjoy a good challenge, don’t you, Eichi-sama?
Eichi: Nope. I simply enjoy devouring the opponent who does everything in their power to challenge me. That’s how I grow stronger.
In reality, “Gatekeeper” is an unprecedented and formidable enemy that has granted me a lot of things fitting for someone in that position.
I won’t thank him, but I’ll make good use of the experience and turn it into something meaningful.
I’m sure it will take a long time for the others who were threatened to think this way, but…
The malice and violence the mafia has left behind in the form of claw marks is large indeed.
But we must heal those wounds and move onwards and onwards.
Fortunately, the disaster has passed in the most reasonable way. All that’s left is to work hard for the revival and prosperity of the future.
I’ve already begun those preparations. “SANCTUARY” was the model, but the seeds have been scattered all over the country through “SS”.
All that’s left to do is to give it plenty of water, nutrients and sunlight until the flowers bloom – while we get rid of the pests or disasters weakening the soil.
Yuzuru: Right. It was indeed quite a disaster this time. I didn’t know what was going on in the big picture at all.
Eichi: Hehe. I’m no god either, so it’s not as though I also understand everything.
In short, the whole chain of events this time was a feud between “Gatekeeper” and “Priest”.
Between “Gatekeeper”, a mafia member from overseas, and the so-called “Priest”, who is the root of evil in the entertainment industry.
We idols were simply caught up between a great battle of evil between two large monsters.
I assume the first one to make a move was “Priest”. He tried to obtain the idol industry that grew enormously after ES was established.
He supported the bigshots of the industry, controlled the ES higher-ups from the shadows and distorted this year’s “SS”. All because that would work best in his favour.
He’ll gain a large profit while dominating the entire country through “SS” and making everyone excited for the event. At the same time, he’ll let the idols that would be a benefit to him through to the Finals.
He’ll then approach those idols and turn them into his pawns.
No, he originally had plans to let the idols who he thought he could control like a puppet advance to the Finals.
Yuzuru: Well, putting aside what was best for this “Priest”, we’re unable to read the room and are impossible to control, and yet we also advanced to the Finals.
Eichi: Yeah. I bet “Priest” must have been at quite a loss. All of the fruit he could harvest whenever he wanted turned out to be poisonous apples when touched.
Yuzuru: Strictly speaking, I don’t think it was all of them.
The obedient idols who listen to their superiors, in other words, idols that “Priest” would have no difficulty controlling, such as “ALKALOID” or “Ra*bits”, also made it to the Finals.
Eichi: But even so, “Priest” couldn’t touch them.
Because there was a storm that was raging by the name of “Gatekeeper” on the fields “Priest” went through the trouble of tilling.
The wicked “Priest” is a thief who had laid his eyes on a fruit tree called the idol industry that had been growing healthily, and planned on stealing those fruits.
He used methods fitting for a mafia, such as blackmail, and made an attempt to squeeze out the fruit juice from the idols.
He tried to exploit them using threats and making them present profits to him.
At the very least, that’s what I think “Gatekeeper” intended on doing in the beginning.
If there’s someone producing such a large profit, then they’ll be targeted by the inhabitants of the underworld.
Unfortunately, that’s something that happens all too often. I, too, thought that was how it worked at first.
But for “Gatekeeper”, it seems dragging “Priest” out and finishing him off had higher priority.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂ Next Chapter →
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Star Wars Aus
I have so many star wars time travel aus in my head. writing fanfiction is really, really hard (mad props, no idea how you do it). it is 1:26am. and i have come here to shout into the void.
crack/rock star fluff fix it: obi wan several years post ROTS travels back to the very beginning of TPM. Had enough time to mostly process/repress Order 66 and imagine 10000 if-i-had only-done-things-differently, so after a fairly brief freak out he can pass off as an intense force vision, he’s a pretty effective time traveler. Frees Anikan AND Shmi, keeps qui-gon from dying, properly kills maul on Naboo. Anikan is brought to the creche so he has time to befriend other initiates and learn Jedi culture before becoming a padawan. Obi wan is a young knight, he privately tutors Anikan and works with him on his issues and also his issues. The very first second Palpatine starts sniffing around he point blank tells Anikan do not let yourself be alone with him, I can’t explain completely but trust me and Anikan does.
Obi wan also has the independence to go off on missions and start covertly undoing only-visible-in-hindsight complicated sith conspiracies that have been eroding the republic and trying to gather actual evidence to take Chancellor Palpatine down cleanly without people turning on the Jedi. Doesn’t confide in anyone because a) he’s still a crazy hermit man and b)his biggest advantage is that Sideous has no idea he’s on to him. He has to disable all the back up destroy-the-Jedi plots before he plays his hand.
But this is all just background plot for the real meat of this au! Which is Obi Wan Kenobi is secretly a famous mystery pop star! Bear with me!
Obi Wan needs covert money to work against sideous.
He has knowledge of the future! Easy money.
He could invest in stocks or gamble on famous races, but...
Just in case his covert ploting and secret money ever gets uncovered (yeah, he’s Xanatos gambiting) he needs his source of space cash to be clean, and not seem like everyone’s worst fears about Jedi seers.
What was that ridiculously viral pop song towards the end of the clone wars that got stuck in every human and near-humans head? That never stopped playing on space radio? That obi wan of course knows all the words to because its the most viral, slightly irritating but so catchy song ever made?
And wasn’t the guy who wrote it just, the worst? Like, Obi Wan wasn’t exactly following celebrity gossip, but towards the end of the songs replays someone would feel the need to ‘you know what that guy does to’- ‘yes. its a pirated version’. R Kelly problematic. Absolutely fine stealing his art before he makes it, noble even.
And hey, Obi Wan’s got a decent singing voice.
So! Obi Wan goes down a few levels. He finds a sketchy recording studio, picks up some backup musicians from dive bars, and records a demo.
The song goes out from a big recording studio who got it from a small recording studio who got it from an agent who got it from a lawyer who got it from a mysterious B.K who never reveals his face, who was absolutely convinced it would go viral, just protect the copyright, don’t ask or answer any questions, and channel the money into these discrete untraceable accounts and you can be ridiculously wealthy.
It takes a year or two, Obi Wan is a little concerned that the cultural influences just didn’t come together. or he didn’t replicate the recording perfectly enough. oh well.
And then it becomes an even bigger hit then the original timeline
He has enough money to fund his one man campaign against the trade federation. Success.
B.K’s mystery identity fuels a ravening, obsessive fanbase. The random band he picked up become overnight stars, and they literally have never seen B.K’s face, he appeared out of the ether, paid them in beer for a couple days while they jammed together and arranged with the lawyer for them to get a cut of the proceeds ‘once the song took off’
A few people who know obi wan do make jokes that the singer kind-of sounds like him. Bant and Garen tease him a little and try to get him to come to space karaoke to sing it but they never actually think its him.
Qui-Gon, who listened to him sing in the shower for a decade asks him about it the first time he hears the song and Obi-Wan just acts offended that he things he would write trash like that. He’s still a little suspicious but he know Ob-Wan doesn’t even like pop music so he just chalks it up to the force working in mysterious ways.
Quinlan is convinced its him. Obi-Wan won’t flat out deny anything, just scoffs and responds sarcastically. It drives him absolutely insane. Because it is just such a stupid song and Obi-Wan writes sad poetry how did this happen. WHO even are you. Makes conspiracy boards with yarn. Obsesses over it. Tracks him and finds him doing convert anti-trade federation/banking clans stuff. HOW DO YOU HAVE TIME TO DO THIS AND BE A SECRET POP STAR.
#star wars#star wars au#my au#crack#secret pop star wars au#sw#sw au no 3#star wars au no 3#pop star wars au
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I'd like to request more on the speedrunning AU pls
Gladly!
I should have clarified before but only Caleb and Essek (and to some extent Fjord) are speedrunners
The rest are other type of youtubers/streamers!
Fjord wasnt even a gamer when he accidentally joined a speedrunning community of obscure categories. The people of the community dont cheat, but they use debatable tricks. He started playing normally after meeting Caduceus
Caleb was in a very toxic speed running community where he and his peers were forced to be constantly competing. He ended up leaving and going dark for years but he started a small channel of his own where he worked on speedrunning alone. Not having the techniques of the community was hard, but developing his own and joining foreign speedrunning communities helped him find a style of his own that helped him maintain a status. He also has an account where he uploads pictures and videos of cats and Frumpkin. He also has cat ear headphones
Essek was a very famous speedrunner on the community of Xhorhas. What other people dont know its that he cheated in two of his top runs, which is holding the community back since they are trying to copy his techniques. He eventually leaves and only appears on the channels of the other Nein.
Jester plays a variety of content, but shes known for having a pastel cute persona while playing games like Doom or Dark Souls. Streamers usually have rules of not receiving food as gifts, so instead of pastries her dans send her plushies and craft that resemble cupcakes and bear claws and other sweet things.
Veth was a youtuber known for her science videos with her husband, until one day she just stopped appearing on the channel. Couple of months later a new channel appeared where she did tinkerings of all kinds, each one wilder than the last one, with caleb appearing to help her in some of the videos. Finally she reunited with Yeza and they started doing videos together again, leaving her other channel for crazy and dangerous stuff she and Caleb come up with
Yasha does streams of her just walking through nature. She only speaks when she finds an interesting flower and wants to tell her followers about it. Sometimes she brings her harp along and plays it
Beau started as an educational fitness channel but it made her so mad that she straight up started uploading conspiracy theories and videos of her and yasha (safely) fighting. She has a whole tag on her social media of her just annoying the fuck out of caleb
Caduceus:every day he does a stream of him taking care of his garden. Once or twice a week one or more of his siblings are around and it turns into a talk show. He also records with Jester videos of them playing stuff like Slimer Ranchers or Terraria. He doesnt like minecraft. Whoever who suggests it gets booed by the chat. No one knows what happen or if its a joke but he finds it amusing
Molly/King is one of those content creators that dissappear for months, drops a masterpiece snd then dissapears again. He will do anything from music to philosophical rants to cooking to ocultism. No one knows what his deal is except that he can be seen in every channel of the Nein. Some people think he is one problematic creator that dissapeared pnce and never returned
The chaos crew also has a channel. Their best summary is "do not try. Not even outside. Why would you want to"
They all end up having a channel together where they play games and hang out. None of them knows who created the channel
Theres two videos of Jester slapping Caleb. The first time someone found it Caleb just tagged Jester so she could relive the moment
They sometime collaborate with other channels and its the most out of context and chaotic episode those channels have
Oh also magic is still pretty much a thing
Caleb ends up creating a channel to educate people about magic basics.
#also they all live in a house together#a tower to be specific#my post#critical role#critrole#caleb widogast#essek thelyss#mollymauk tealeaf#essek theyless#kingsley tealeaf#jester lavorre#fjord stone#caduceus clay#yasha nydoorin#beauregard lionett#veth brenatto
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Tbh if you actually like answering early fandom questions I have like a million (btw it’s me again from the last 2)
You mentioned before that you were kind of out of the fandom by Danger Days but do you remember what the reaction was when Gerard talked about drinking again?
Did many og fans stick around or did they really turn on the band? Like I know you said bullets ppl hated revenge but did it grow on them eventually?
What did ppl think when Gerard and Lynz married???? That one I really want to know bc when I was newer in the fandom everyone kissed her ass like crazy and it seems like ppl have only recently realized she and msi aren’t the greatest.
Ok! Hey!!!! I kind of love you for all of these btw. this is gonna be LONG. SO yes, I was totally out of fandom at that point. However, I do follow a few blogs and I remember when the article was posted where he talked about his struggle with an ED and starting to drink again during DD. Personally, I was kind of. In shock? I didn't realize how much he was struggling at the end of it tbh. I think it also took a lot of older fans out a little bit too. It kind of made him a tangible human being rather than this formative icon we idolized. Saying that sounds awful. But at the beginning, because there was no social media, we had NO idea what the guys were actually like irl. They were human, obviously, but they were people we had put on a pedestal and we could project onto them, y'know? We had interviews and such, but the first glimpse we got into ~the real them~ was LOTMS, which was a highly edited version of the truth that fell into the stereotypes we kind of built. It glossed over Gerards addiction pretty rapidly. Reading his struggle at the end of MCR and DD broke my heart. This band did SO much for me, and a lot of us, but we never took into account how much it was taking from them or Gerard. That's all I can really say about it? Like I said, I wasn't in the fandom. So this was mostly my perspective. No one turned on the band. I think we just kind of grew up and started experiencing new things. Our interests change and merge as we get older. Some things I got from being an MCR fan stuck with me forever - i.e, my love of horror films and graphic novels, as well as my forever love of the guys. But the music wasn't what I needed anymore, yknow? I have diagnosed avoidant personality disorder, and severe depression as a result. My Chem helped me feel seen when I felt totally fucking invisible. It helped me form lasting friendships. I'm still friends with people I met in line to their shows in 2005, and on myspace. As I turned 19-20, my sadness started feeling more melancholy rather than anger. I listened to a lot of The National around then, and started getting seriously invested in film as a way of escapism. In regards to people hating revenge - I think a lot of people either left or stuck around for good. You can go back on old lj entries on the chemicalromance comm and read peoples reaction to Revenge songs. They hated how manufactured it sounded, hated how clean Gerards vocals were, HATED I'm Not Ok - thought it was too commercial for what they were prior. As someone who got into the via Revenge, it actually took some time to get used to the sound of Bullets! ALRIGHT. Ok. GERARD MARRYING LINDSEY. I wish I could figure out how to add a cut to tumblr now but IDK OK. SOOO. Some background that y’all know but is needed for context. Gerard was in a LONG TERM relationship for YEARS with someone named Kat. No one has ever EVER seen her. Gerard only talked about having a girlfriend, thanked her in notes, and she is mentioned by some reporters sometimes (as goth looking). They break up. Gerard is ~technically~ single for like. a fuckin MONTH. then Eliza shit starts up (even tho she was alluding to being with him for fukin EVER). She fakes a pregnancy, they get engaged (around I Don’t Love You), shit was WILD. like BALLS TO THE WALL INSANE. I can go way way way more into this if y’all are interested just lemme know. THEY BREAK UP around the beginning of Pro Rev. Ok. OK. Within like. another fukin MONTH Gerard is seen MAKING OUT WITH LYNZ FROM FUCKIN MSI. They go to each others shows, seen holding hands ETC ETC. LIKE. THIS DUDE. This dude who had a LONG TERM GIRLFRIEND WE NEVER EVER SAW suddenly has had TWO PUBLIC RELATIONSHIPS IN THE SPAN OF NOT EVEN A YEAR. also btw. We ALL thought he was gay, no fukin joke. Like I was saying earlier about not having any social media. We had an idea of what the guys were like from their stage personas and LOTMS. And like. Gerards Stage Persona is Loud. We thought Eliza mightve been a beard? Idk it was a weird time tbh. BUT THEN THEN T H E N G AND L GET MARRIED????>>????? THEY HAD BEEN DATING A M ON TH. a MONTH. and they got fuckin MARRIED. The conspiracy theories, y’all, I can’t. IT WAS INSANE. SO DUDE GETS ENGAGED TO SOMEONE, BREAKS UP, MAKES OUT WITH BASS PLAYER FROM MSI AND GETS MARRIED TO HER. ALL WITHIN T H R E E MONTHS. goddamn. So, ok. Last bit. Unfortunately the attitude towards language and WAS different back then. I know a lot of younger fans shit on older fans for saying so, but it WAS. It was totally different. MSI were seen as ~too cool, and their fans were pissed they went on tour with My Chem, etc. I wasn’t a fan, but I had seen them live a few times with a friend who was (not on Pro Rev). They just weren’t my thing and I hated Urines face. My friend who was actually a huge fan of BOTH msi and my chem separately was SHOCKED that G and Lindsey got together because their band and their vibes were so different. People mostly thought Lindsey was hot at the time but didn’t know anything about her, cuz again, no social media. Like, I cannot stress enough how much about these people we did not know. No one cared about their social lives or what they were like irl so we DIDN’T know how gross Urine and crew were. Like. A Huge factor as to why people were pissed and mad at Eliza was because she was making something Gerard obviously wanted to keep private into a public thing for attention and clout. Also, when he was being SO public with Lindsey it was shocking. Anyway I h8 msi.
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Something in the Way (Fred Weasley)
Fred Weasley x Reader
The trope of everyone else knowing two people are in love before the two have figured it out is just so adorable to me, I love reading it so thought I’d try my hand at writing it...
Fem!Reader, no house mentioned, no specific physical features
Warnings: None I don’t think
Word Count: 1.6k
Although I am using the Harry Potter universe as a basis for this story I do not support JK Rowling or her views.
Fred and Y/N’s relationship was special, everyone knew that. What they shared was unlike anything anyone had ever seen. Fred and Y/N’s relationship was loving and tender, both always willing to put the other first whatever the cost. Fred and Y/N’s relationship was lasting, for the last three years they had been looking at each other like they were the sole reason for the stars in the sky, the mists on the mountains and the full, glowing moon.
Except Fred and Y/N’s relationship didn’t exist. The two had been dancing around each other all this time, never quite getting close enough to call it love.
This was why their family and friends were on high alert, overanalyzing every look, comment, or touch exchanged by the pair. Sometimes it was the glance thrown by Ginny to George as Fred adjusted Y/N’s scarf to keep her warmer. Sometimes it was Mr and Mrs Weasley whispering conspiracies about how they couldn’t pinpoint the look in Fred’s eyes when he stared at Y/N intently at dinner earlier. Sometimes it was the abrupt and secretive silence that engulfed Harry, Hermione and Ron when Y/N appeared in front of them, bringing an end to their discussion about how oblivious the two were.
Just the other day at the Burrow the twins had been helping to decorate the tree when Molly had piped up
“Will Y/N be visiting this Christmas?” Fred’s head whipped round to frown at his mother as he finished adjusting some of the shiny muggle ‘tinsel’ Arthur Weasley had gleefully presented to his family,
“Why would Y/N be visiting?” he had questioned, shaking his head slightly and looking towards George, who averted his eyes towards a particulary intriguing bewitched bauble.
“Oh no reason,” Molly’s face fell “I just wanted to make sure she had some plans is all, dear...”
“Yeah, she does. She’s away until the new year actually” Fred had huffed, confused as to why his mother seemed more keen to spend time with his best friend than with him.
It was a frosty Saturday in January that Y/N had sent an owl saying she was popping in that afternoon to check out the stock for the new year. The air was clean and crisp yet cold enough that not many shoppers were braving the chill to visit Diagon Alley. The boys leant against the counter, George fumbling with some packaging distractedly. Ron was also working that day, taking his sweet time stacking some Blaze Boxes in the corner. Fred’s eyes kept darting to the clock,
“When did she say she’d stop by again?” he asked nonchalantly, causing George to look up
“Eh, just said afternoon I think mate, don’t worry though I’m sure we won’t be too busy to have her in” he gestured to the empty shop.
Fred stayed silent. In the corner a loud bang erupted as Ron dropped one of the boxes. Bright sparks whizzed round the room, popping and fizzing as Ron stood swearing at the front of the shop. George began to laugh but was interrupted by his twin, fist was clenched and brow furrowed -
“Bloody hell Ron, save some stock for us to actually sell, would you?”
Fred’s tone was snarky and a comment that biting sounded so strange leaving his mouth that it took all three boys aback for a moment.
“I’m not sure who spiked your cereal this morning but you can lose that tone with me... maybe when Y/N gets here you’ll be a bit nicer!” Ron pouted.
“Y/N’s clearly forgotten about her plans for this afternoon, or she’d be here by now.” Fred muttered, pushing past George on his way to the stock room.
George and Ron exchanged familiar confused looks, over the three years Y/N had been in Fred’s life an entirely new language of bewildered or disbelieving stares had formed amongst the Weasleys. Fred didn’t emerge until the bell above the door rang and Y/N’s soft voice greeted them all joyfully. As if a weight had been lifted off his chest he bounded past the till and embraced her tightly.
“I missed you, loser.”
Only a week later, the twins were sitting opposite each other, both focusing on checking the shop’s accounts (or so Fred thought) George had been turning the last interaction between his brother and Y/N over and over in his mind, wondering how on earth Fred hadn’t connected his bad mood to the absence of his dearest ‘friend’. He coughed and sat up, straightening his back, but failed to make eye contact with his brother who was still hunched over the large leather-bound book.
“Why do you think Y/N is single?” he pondered aloud, noting the way Fred’s head flicked up at the mention of her name alone.
“That’s obvious - nobody we know is good enough for her.” Fred stated, as if George was silly for not considering such a simple explanation.
“Ah yeah... obviously,” George coughed, attempting to hide his laugh. He made eye contact with his twin “are you sure we don’t know anyone?” he asked slowly, hoping Fred might finally catch on.
“Listen, I don’t know what this is all about but if you’re thinking of trying anything I would advise you to check the mirror to confirm that you closely resemble a mountain troll.. and I know it’s been 2 days since you last showered, therefore Y/N would never even consider it, okay?” Fred snapped
George spluttered with laughter before managing to stammer out
“First off, we’re identical you absolute savage.”
Fred just shook his head, “Anyone with taste knows I’m the better looking twin.”
Fred wasn’t just fiercely protective of Y/N but he would also go to the ends of the earth for her, this much was clear to everyone...except her. It started with one, two, three butterbeers on him and developed into Y/N being able to attend plans with the twins without her purse. It was established that Fred would not allow her to part with as much as a knut whilst in his company. Nor would he allow her to spend it on his company, any product she showed interest in (or looked at for more than five seconds) was hastily put aside for her, sometimes with a shimmering ribbon clumsily knotted round it.
“As a gift, on the house, absolutely no need for your money darling” he would assure her every single time.
In fact, the only payment he would accept was if she came to work for Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes - “you’d be amazing, Y/N you’re so good with kids, and I know you can really push sales - who could say no to you?” he had pleaded, whilst she flushed red and chuckled... “funnily enough Freddie, pretty much everyone apart from you can say no to me, you poor sod!”
This hypothesis was correct, and had been proven time and time again. When everyone gathered for dinner at Harry and Ginny’s house instead of apparating in Fred, Y/N and George had stood shivering on the doorstep, waiting for the door to be answered. When Ginny pulled it open all three of them bundled in to the warm hallway, slipping off coats and hats.
“Why didn’t you guys apparate? It’s bloody freezing out there tonight!” she had remarked, noting that all three had cheeks flushed with cold and pink shading the tips of their noses. George tutted and glared at Fred, speaking lowly so only Ginny could hear
“Because, my dear sister, Y/N doesn’t really like apparating so obviously Fred wouldn’t allow it!” At the same time Y/N piped up, not having heard his comment,
“We all fancied a walk I think didn’t we Freddie?... George?”
George rolled his eyes but nodded enthusiastically and Y/N beamed as Ginny led them through to the dining room as the feeling in their fingertips began to return.
The spread that had been prepared looked divine, the smell travelled through the whole house and made Fred’s mouth water.
Food was shared around and wine poured, everyone caught up on the excitement of Christmas and the New Year, and congratulated the twins on the soaring sales of the new launch. George took the chance to mention his new girlfriend, Guenevere, to the group - causing Ginny and Hermione to squeal with delight and Ron to lean over and smack him on the back in congratulations. Harry nodded along with the conversation, focused on the plate infront of him. That is, until he looked at Fred quizically
“When do you think you’ll meet someone, Fred?” he asked gently, with not a hint of malice in his voice, if anything he was trying to nudge Fred’s thoughts of the future towards Y/N, who sat on his left.
The atmosphere in the room felt a little like a joke that everyone except Fred and Y/N were in on, everyone waited with baited breath for Fred to talk. They gasped slightly when he turned to face Y/N... then George...
“Um, I don’t know, really, at the moment I’m alright just hanging out with George and Y/N, they’re all I really need just now... and you guys, of course, and the shop. But that all goes without saying”
The entire table let out a frustrated sigh, they had been so close but were once again disappointed with his answer, Fred was none the wiser.
‘Goes without saying my arse’ George (and the others) thought grumpily. All they wanted was Fred to say it, to say anything, to call it what it was.
The two had been dancing around each other almost four years, still never getting close enough to call it love.
A/N: Thought I’d give another bit of Fred writing a go, as my George one has been so much more popular than my last Fred one, give the boy a chance! Also this kind of invites a part two, so if anyone has any suggestions of scenarios in which these two finally get together, send em my way. Much love.
#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley imagine#fred weasley one shot#fred weasley fic#harry potter imagines#harry potter one shots#harry potter fic#fred weasley fluff#hp fic#hp imagine#hp one shot#fred weasley
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hq boys as the crimes they’d commit
warnings: CRIMES, crackfic, probably many typos idk i’m so tired lmaooo, cursing, drinking ??? idfk 😩💦
an: and i did this for what?? inspired by hq hcs royalty @sugardaddykenma @hina-wit-da-glock (AJSKSJ SORRY FOR TAGGING Y’ALL IF YOU SEE THIS, IT IS DEF NOT UP TO PAR W Y’ALLS WORKS ILY)
karasuno
sawamura daichi- insurance fraud!! somehow this is such a dad crime to commit?? dadchi didn’t try (dumb excuse, how do you accidentally commit insurance fraud smh) to commit insurance fraud but at one point in his late-thirties, he was very very broke and was already working as much as possible so, he decided to fake an ankle injury, as you do, and filed a bunch of claims which made him bank. daichi kept doing it until he was able to quit one of his jobs and buy himself a really nice suit and a rolex (uhhh 🥵). he somehow never got caught tho and to this day, none of his friends know how he was able to afford a tesla on a cop’s salary (sorry daichi but acab 😔✨)
sugawara kōshi- child abandonment!! ok you can try and fight me on this but i feel in my bones that suga absolutely despises children. he can tolerate ages 10+ but anything younger than that, he will punt them into the next dimension. the thing is, people just assume he likes kids because of how good he is with his team which is why his aunt begged him to babysit his nephew taro. taro was being an absolute brat when suga took him out for the day and he was 👉👈 this close to snapping. he put taro down for like 3 seconds to pay for their ice cream and when he turned back, the demon spawn was gone. he panicked, running around the park looking for taro when it turns out, taro was just bent down behind the bench. some random karen called the police and suga has never craved murder more.
nishinoya yuu- arson!! you CANNOT tell me nishinoya doesn’t have a ~murder~ playlist that he listens to to get himself hype (me too noya, me too). one night, he got a lil too hype listening to start a riot by duckwrth and watching demolition videos on youtube. he snuck out of his house to an empty shed like 30 minutes away and maybe... lit it on fire while genocide by lil darkie played on a speaker nearby. what he did NOT anticipate was the absolute size of the fire so he freaked out and called the firefighters who promptly called the police. he didn’t want to get grounded so he called daichi to bail him out. daichi still told noya’s parents 😔.
tanaka ryūnosuke- vandalism!! tanaka had been on alt tiktok and saw a group of cool friends spray painting an abandoned building. he thought “that’s cool, lemme do that!” but then he realized he had no friends (AHDGS JK I LOVE TANAKA). he asked nishinoya who was grounded from the arson incident and he knew he definitely couldn’t ask daichi, suga, asahi, or enoshita so he decided to go it alone. that proved to be a MASSIVE mistake. he got the supplies, arrived to the building of his choice (thanks saeko :3), and decided to spray paint a huge p3ni5 in bright red paint. he finished “successfully” and zoomed back home. what he didn’t realize with his two-and-a-half braincells is that he signed his glorious piece with his full name. the cops were at his house the next morning...🧍
hinata shoyō- forgery!! hinata did NOT think that forgery was even a crime. how was he supposed to know that he wasn’t allowed to copy his mom’s signature on a permission form! all he wanted was to go to an overnight training camp 😿
kageyama tobio- attempted murder!! kageyama swears it sounds worse than was and he is absolutely incorrect. what happened was so much worse. he and hinata were having a competition to see who could hold their breath the longest underwater (you can’t tell me they haven’t done some dumbass shit like this) and kageyma lost almost instantly (he has the tiny lungs of an asthmatic). he didn’t want hinata to notice so he held hinata’s head under the water for like 10 seconds. suga walked in though, saw hinata thrashing around in the water and immediately called the police. kageyama never forgave him.
tsukishima kei- cyberbullying!! first of all, i had no idea you could get arrested for cyber bullying!? that being said, neither did tsukishima who spent 80% of his time making fun of people online (and on his real account!! bold). eventually one of the people he bullied (hinata) reported him on instagram and his very lame account was deleted (pls don’t bully people online 😤).
yamaguchi tadashi- shoplifting!! andjksh this is so funny because this scenario has happened to me and i can just SEE this happening to poor tadashi. yamaguchi gets super late night cravings (and usually tsukki will walk with him at like 3 am 🥺 nEWAYS) so he’ll sneak out and walk to the mini-mart near his house. one night, he was so tired but also super hungry so he went onto his nightly routine and basically sleepwalked into the store. he picked out his favorite chips and candy bar (which are sour cream&onion lays and milky ways in case you were wondering 😌✨) and just... walked out the store without paying. the store clerk was mysteriously missing so yamaguchi made it all the way home, ate half the bag of chips and passed out without realizing what he’d done. once he did, he cried for 2 hours straight.
nekoma
kuroo tetsurō- telemarketing fraud!! kuroo originally did telemarketing fraud as a joke?? like he was trying to prank call someone pretending that they had lost their information and they actually gave it to him??? he was mildly concerned but even more excited. he did it over and over again but he never used the info for anything. to this day, kuroo literally has a notebook full of credit card numbers and bank account passwords but he refuses to use it because he believes it’s ✨wrong✨(but it isn’t wrong to take all that information in the first place under false pretenses, not realizing that once people find out, they are forced to close credit cards and accounts but go off self righteous king). once he brought the book up to kenma and he offered to sell it on the dark web. now kuroo feels less bad about what he’s done! :D
kozume kenma- computer crime!! pfttt this one seems kinda obvious but what do you expect from kenma :). he spends so much time on the internet, he’s definitely picked up some less than legal skills that still help him now 👀. kenma did little mini crimes like getting into other people’s wifi but his crowning achievement was when he hacked into the minneapolis pd website and had it so when you opened the page, a black lives matter screen came up. he never told anyone that it was him who did it but he thinks it’s the best he’s ever done.
yaku morisuke- racketeering!! yaku, the feral king, ran an underground gambling ring in the basement of nekoma (do they have basements?? who knows! i don’t!) during his third year. the only reason it didn’t get shut down was because coach nekomata took a portion of yaku’s profits whenever he won (which was literally all the time). everyone on the team has lost money to him which is why they never play with him anymore. they won’t even let yaku play monopoly 😔.
haiba lev- indecent exposure!! poor lev’s head is so empty, he tends to fall for whatever pranks his senpai’s do to him. this time kuroo had somehow convinced him that in order to grow his schlong, he had to run outside naked for 10 minutes because the moonlight had special growing properties. lev was a lil scared ngl because he was already superrr tall and didn’t need to grow his height (or his dick ((boy is hung)) but poor lev is insecure) but he did it anyway. long story short, an old woman saw him parading around the neighborhood naked and called el policia. 0/10 dick did NOT grow and had to spend a night in jail naked 😿
aoba johsai
oikawa tōru- prostitution!! KAKKAKA iwazumi made fun of oikawa for being so shitty and said that he couldn’t pick up anyone if he tried. flattykawa took this as a personal challenge and went out onto the street, asking people if they’d have sex with him. with the way he was asking (and the way he was dressed), people assumed he was a paid w h o r e and someone eventually reported him. iwazumi had to pick oikawa up from the station- he never let him live this one down.
iwaizumi hajime- battery!! it wasn’t technically battery but oikawa is a lil bitch and overreacts (at least in his words -_-). the amount of times iwa-chan has beat the absolute shit out of oikawa is uNREAL. he just can’t handle the stupidity sometimes so he just smacks the crap outta him. not for real for real but the way oikawa reacts, you’d think a murder was occurring. one time, shittykawa screeched so loud, they got a noise complaint -_- hajime hates it in these streets.
matsukawa issei & hanamaki takahiro- conspiracy!! issei and hiro have a secret blog where they discuss conspiracy theories and such but one day, hiro found an article that explained how jfk’s death was an inside job. he sent it to issei who began to theorize how HE’D do it. that devolved into a massive thread on their blog of how’d they murder a president which blew up and caught the attention of the cia who sent the a letter telling them to quietly delete the blog. they did because they were terrified but they kept the letter and now it’s framed in issei’s apartment.
kyōtani kentarō- assault!! baby is an angry little boy but for all the right reasons. he was at a bar (when he’s all grown up, duh) and he spotted an absolute drunk creep hitting on a girl who clearlyyyy did not reciprocate his feelings. kyōtani, being the respectful king that he is, went over to the guy, pulled him by the jacket and beat. the. shit. out of him. while the bartender was happy with the fact that the creep was out, he was not impressed with the damage to his bar. he just sent kyōtani out who casually adjusted his leather jacket and rings, and hopped on his motorcycle to ride away into the night. i am the FATTEST simp for this man ONG 🥴
shiratorizawa
ushijima wakatoshi- stalking!! poor ushijima has no idea how intimidating he can be. he was on a train late at night after practice and the woman sitting across from him left her purse sitting on the seat. being the gentleman that he is, he took the purse and followed her to return it. the only problem is that the closer he got, the faster she ran and when he tried to speak (yknow with his scary, deep, baritone voice), the woman screeched and called the cops on him because he was a “strange, big man who was following her home.” when the police showed up, ushijima was painfully confused and just held up this tiny ass purse in his massive hands. the cops laughed.
tendō satori- ???!! no one knows what crimes (or how many 😳) tendō has committed but each of his teammates have different ideas- ushijima: “i don’t believe tendou is capable of committing any sort of felony. well, maybe murder”; semi: “of COURSE he’s capable of crimes??! do you know how many times i’ve seen him come into the dorm with a suspicious stain of red on his sweater?? *shudders* if i end up dead, tendō did it...” in actuality, the only crime tendō has committed is ~drugs~ but he’s not bouta tell his friends that.
goshiki tsutomu- would be a VICTIM!! my baby tsutomu would NEVER commit a crime!!! i love this man with my everything and the only crime he’s committed is being too damn cute 😤🥺
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! headcanons#hq hcs#hq headcanons#crack fic#tsukishima kei#daichi sawamura#sugawara kōshi#ushijima headcanons#tendou satori#goshiki tsutomu#kyotani kentaro#matsukawa issei#hanamaki takahiro#iwazumi hajime#oikawa torū#haiba lev#yaku morisuke#kenma kozume#kuroo tetsurou#yamaguchi tadashi#hinata shōyō#haikyuu kageyama#nishinoya yuu#haikyuu tanaka#shiritorizawa#karasuno#aoba johsai#nekoma
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In The Soop
The episode begins with Tae by a tarp, arranging bowls next to a fire, the scene cuts to Jimin telling Jungkook, who is wearing his boxing hand wraps, that he hears water leaking in the floating house. Jungkook walks outside rather leisurely asking what he should do, Jimin tells him that he should take his belongings out of the house, and leads Jungkook to where Tae is sitting. Jungkook takes a seat right away, no questions asked. Jimin and Tae shake hands, and Tae thanks Jimin for finding this place(?), Jungkook has apparently caught on, “Of course, why would there be a leak?” (okay). Jimin skips off to the side but comes back to tell Tae that he didn’t have an excuse, so he told Jungkook that there was a leak in the floating house, “I was shocked” Jungkook says (I wouldn't have guessed). Jimin tells Jungkook he can keep the hand wrap on since he worked hard on them. Tae informs Jimin that he can leave, Jimin throws a ball at him, Tae thanks him again. Jin walks up to inspect and asks if it is date night, and then leaves with Jimin. Jungkook asks what the occasion is, Tae explains that he couldn’t grab a drink with Jungkook the last time Jungkook asked him, that he couldn't have a "proper" drink with Jungkook, and he was taking this opportunity to do so. Jungkook says that even when they were trainees they got scolded together (that seems like an abrupt change in topic, unless they are talking about being scolded for drinking as trainees, in which case, should they be putting this information out?). Tae agrees that they were partners in crime. The scene cuts to Jungkook's monologue where he says Tae was the easiest person to talk to, but as they spent time on their own that there was a side of things that started to feel a bit awkward with Tae; "They started to feel distant" the captions helpfully fill in the gaps. Jungkook continues, "Tae used to joke around all the time but he's more reserved now." that when Tae approached him they sorted a lot of it out (I assume he's talking about the same conversation). He also adds that he had a heart-to-heart with everyone else but Tae, that he's glad that Tae planned this and after the conversation, it felt like some things had gone back to the way it used to be, even if it isn't exactly the same as it was when they were younger (the captions have nothing to add here).
They cut back to the original conversation. Jungkook (caption: carefully) admits that a huge part of him changed because of Tae, Tae says they had many similarities, Jungkook agrees. Tae recollects the time, when they were trainees, (he briefly looks at the camera) when he asked Jungkook to just speak casually to him, that he rather be friends. Jungkook told him at the time, that he spoke formally to everyone older than him, Jungkook looks contemplative as he says this. It's the right thing to do as it prevents relationships from being ruined, he claims, captions give tacit approval to upholding age hierarchy. Jungkook says they would've fought a lot otherwise, Tae insists that as much as they fought they would've also hung out a lot, but Jungkook says that's what he chose (I'm a little confused now as to when "the distance" in their relationship happened). Camera pans out to Jin and Jimin playing in the foreground, the other cameras to the side of where Tae and Jungkook are sitting also visible now (they should’ve planned that out better). Jin apologizes for interrupting them as he collects the baseball, the captions tell us that, “The younger members are embarrassed when the others approach.” Jungkook asks Tae what's on his mind these days. Tae tells him that he doubted if he was someone worthy of love (from the fans). Jungkook tells him that it must've been the same for all members. Tae says that's the reason he went on weverse so often (the captions tell us that weverse is the only way to communicate with ARMY!) but that he felt empty afterwards. Jungkook says he personally thinks Tae is doing well these days. Jin and Jimin’s shouts can be heard from where they’re playing. Jungkook says that he's using this time to better himself and doing something like that might help Tae as well. They toast to “The people who love us!”, the captions pronounce them, “Close friends who share each other’s problems”. It is implied that they talk more but none of it interesting enough for airtime, and then they walk off as jazz music plays.
Before addressing the conversation itself I'd like to focus on what the fandom took away from this conversation about Taekook's relationship, after this episode aired there were many fans almost mourning Taekook's friendship, about how they hadn't realized that Taekook drifted apart and so on, then there were others who decided to send their condolences to Taekookers, to tell them to mend their ways seeing as this somehow confirms that Taekook were not even friends much less anything else, that Taekookers are the reason they became awkward. There are many ships in Kpop, some with their most notable interaction being that they made eye contact for 0.2 seconds across a crowded stage, and some where the idols being shipped do suggestive fanservice with each other because that’s part of the job, but none of those idols seem to define their personal relationships according to how shippers view them, what makes Taekook so special? Did they not read the fine print of their contract? That can't be it, because both Jungkook and Tae seem fine engaging in fanservice with other members of their group, we can debate this, but that's for another time, let's move on.
The other unanimously drawn inference is that, this is why Taekook have not been seen together for a few years, since 2017 (this is not exactly new, but an already pre-existing narrative). Again, why would that be the reason? Does the company they work for seem to care that much for the comfort of their staff that they'd allow two members to not appear together, especially when they are always selling BTS as One Big Happy Family? Are we also to believe that they had the said members sort out their "problems" in this very public fashion, giving conspiracy theories in the fandom legitimacy because I can't stress this enough: "Taekook drifted apart" is a fandom narrative, or was, until this talk. I doubt the general public, whom the show also targeted, knew or cared much about this before, or after if I'm being completely honest.
Now, on to the controversial part: Was this scripted? Well, Yes. It's common sense. All TV shows, including reality shows, are scripted and it shouldn't come as a surprise when BH tightly monitors even their vlives. If you're still not convinced, notice how Jungkook immediately takes a seat when he is lead by Jimin to the tarp, he doesn't ask what's happening, doesn't seem reluctant, doesn't assume it's a group activity or ask Jimin why he isn't joining them, I assume these are questions one has if they have no idea what is going on. Also, you can see the other cameras and staff when they zoom out; I know that's an obvious one, "Of course they filmed it, how else would we see it?", but it's easy to forget these things. The camera crew isn’t aimlessly waiting around hoping something interesting will happen, that would be a waste of resources. At least we can admit that this was as spontaneous as any YouTuber’s vlog.
If you focus on the content of the conversation, Tae and Jungkook themselves don’t say anything specific, they talk about “when they were trainees” with one anecdote. Even as Jungkook talks about their relationship he says "a side of things became awkward" which side is up for interpretation, and the editor interprets it as "They started to feel distant". "Awkward" is also thrown around a lot, this is definitely part of the script, because editors can't read minds either, and I doubt they were privy to Tae and Jungkook's relationship (when they were trainees).
If we remove the fandom's strange response to anything Taekook, the conversation is pretty generic, "love for ARMYs", "working on oneself" are things BTS keep recycling in all their content, not saying there’s no truth to them, just that they fall back on that a lot. They don't go into enough depth or spend much time on Taekook here for someone who has no context to be moved, but for some reason the fandom decided that this is the whole, defining truth of Taekook's relationship, and ignore the part where even the captions say that Tae and Jungkook are “close friends”.
Do I think it's all one big misunderstanding? No, I do think the company was trying to make a statement about their relationship, only to those who are watching carefully of course, and in a fandom as big as this, observers are many. Without getting too deep into conspiracy theories the reason I think so is that: a) This segment was advertised, even by many big accounts on Twitter, that are considered affiliated to the company, when usually they specifically ignore Taekook (which should've been a warning sign, really), but the segment itself lasted only the first 8 minutes of the episode, they never bring this up again, if you’re going to show two members falling out and sacrifice the family narrative, why not milk it for what it's worth? b) I can’t help but compare this to the Taekook vlive of May 2020, both happened within the span of a month. It feels like we’re watching two sets of people, the Taekook who were struggling to keep up a conversation in the vlive, and the Taekook who confidently talk about their “problems” in ITS. Sure, they are in different settings, but vlives are, in my opinion, the closest we get to the “truth”. Why not talk about their friendship in that vlive instead of wasting time making carnations? alternatively, were they out of craft ideas that they thought they should do a vague heart-to-heart that would never be mentioned again, even though it healed a friendship that had been broken for years? c) Taekook themselves don't act like two awkward, distant friends before or after the talk.
A few examples from In The Soop itself:
I think there are two ways to approach this: Take it at face value that Tae and Jungkook resolved their issues with one conversation, and that things are almost back to how they were when they were trainees, or you can take this as a serious confession to fans about their fractured relationship, but then you'll have to consider why they would even address that in such a frivolous manner. I for one don't take this as insurmountable evidence of Tae and Jungkook being only distant co-workers now, they never said that, that's just what people took from it because that's what they decided beforehand, but the original material did play a part in leading them to that conclusion. What do you think was the purpose of this conversation?
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Peace - pt. 04 - Rafe Cameron
Summary: The moments leading up to your wedding to Rafe.
A/N: I’m so sad to see this series end honestly, I’ve so loved writing this version of Rafe. Could probably write him like this forever😂 (I should note that I truly hate the Reagan’s but I do admire the love they had for each other and that’s why I reference them.)
One Thing Right Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist
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Rafe’s first apartment in Boston was a little generic. It was sleek though, modern, like someone had plucked it right out of a magazine and stuck it, piece for piece, into his living space. And it stayed that way for almost three years and then you left your coat hanging in the hall closet. It was banana yellow and looked like it belonged in a Paddington Bear book. But it was just one jacket and when he closed the closet door no one could tell the difference.
But then a toothbrush popped up, green against his color coordinated grays. A pair of sneakers you wore to the gym sat in his bedroom, a pastel rainbow of colors highlighting the white of everything else. They were small though, little minute changes that he could hide away until slowly, maybe without him even realizing it, you were all over the apartment. A dog bed for Fivel, throw blankets that you somehow smuggled into his place and never took home, by New Years his apartment looked more lived in than it had in three years prior.
It wasn’t just your things that made their way into Rafe’s apartment though. It was you. Somewhere between a one-night stand in college, a first date, and your second New Years eve together, you had made room for yourself in Rafe’s life. The somewhat generic party boy that had coasted through every other aspect of his life, relationships included, was suddenly thinking more than a week in advance.
He was thinking about houses, about where you could live together. A place that was yours and his, that was a space you both chose, you both decorated, you both lived in together. He thought about actual schedules, yours and his, but he thought far in advance to. What it would be like to come home from work at night and spend time with you. Watching dumb TV shows and eating take out and trying to cook and buying groceries together. It was all on his mind, all the time.
He’d taken up showing you houses now, brownstones in Beacon Hill that had enough bedrooms for kids, “I liked the one with the garden.” You said, passing Rafe his phone back.
That was new, at least in the last year that you were together. Topper had been the first one to say something about it when he’d been up to visit for Rafe’s 27th birthday. Sitting there on the couch watching the game, talking about what bars they were going to hit up.
“I can check...” Rafe patted his pocket for his phone, “babe, do you have my phone?”
“Oh yeah, sorry. Mine died and I plugged it in the bathroom.” You had walked into the room like it was nothing and handed over Rafe’s phone and Topper just sat there in mild shock. There hadn’t been a time in their friendship that Topper could pinpoint Rafe ever letting anyone use his phone. Just looking at the lock screen ran the risk of incrimination.
“He lets you use his phone?”
“As long as I don’t look at the messages his other girlfriends send him.” You joked, your sentence dissolving into laughter when Rafe tripped you and pulled you down into his lap.
“I don’t want to sound like a broken record here but...you’re just totally different man.” Topper confessed later once the two of them went out bar hopping. A school day the next morning demanded that you stay in but you waved them off and told them to have fun. Topper had been friends with Rafe since high school and he had seen all the bad sides of him. The excessive drinking, the recreational drug use, “I’ve never even known you to be monogamous.”
Rafe shrugged. It was probably true but there in the bar, where any other time, regardless of a girlfriend, he would’ve been more than happy to get some attention, he was just drinking, texting you sporadically. “I don’t know. I gave her a key to my place over Christmas.” He admitted, “I think I'm losing my mind.”
“That might not be a bad thing.”
“It definitely isn’t.”
Two months later, in March, when Rafe suggested, for the first time, that you should live together you had assumed he meant in one of your apartments. Yours was smaller than his so you figured it would be ruled out immediately. But you didn’t necessarily love his apartment building and the co-op that owned it could be a little strict for your taste. But Rafe didn’t mention either apartment. Or anything more on the matter until April when he asked what you thought about a brownstone while you were walking Fivel.
“Kind of big for two people and a dog.” You joked, slowing down in front of one of the brownstones in Beacon Hill. They were beautiful, the epitome of Boston life, a dream you’d definitely let yourself have before.
“What if we’re not two people and a dog forever?”
Rafe had a way of asking questions that sent your head spinning with all the giddy hope and optimism you thought you’d packed away when you decided that traditional life and milestones weren’t for you. When you knew for sure that people who got married for 30, 40, 50 years were just flukes, it wasn’t something to aspire to because it was never going to happen to you. The cynicism had been easy for a long time but then, whenever you were with Rafe, you felt like it was melting away.
He told you to look at brownstones, see if there were any for sale that the two of you thought could fit into your life. You looked on the cheaper side of things while Rafe was more realistic about his finances. And yours, you had told him around the same time as Ian’s wedding that your grandparents had set up a substantial trust for you that deposited to your account monthly. Enough that working was just because you wanted to.
It was no surprise that it was Rafe who found a house. A beautiful brownstone right in Beacon Hill with a garden entry, nestled back from the street, between two other homes, the courtyard in the front. It was gutted inside, closer to your proposed budget but it would require enough of an overhaul that you and Rafe would be putting a decent amount into renovations.
“You said you liked the one with the garden.” And somehow it became the second real argument you had. Silly, because you both loved the place. But you seemed willing to resist, to hold out even though he knew you wanted it.
You had sent pictures to your mom, saved images on Pinterest boards of all the house inspiration you could find, had bookmarked different tiles and wallpapers and furniture stores. And yet every time he mentioned it you said you weren’t sure.
“We’re supposed to sign today to buy it.” Rafe complained as you stalled. He was pulling his coat on and his scarf, the temperature drop in Boston was a nightmare, especially for Rafe. He hated the winter, and the fall, and part of the spring.
“I’m just not positive.”
“What’s the matter with it this time?” He asked, a little more than exasperated honestly.
You sighed, sitting down on the bar stool in Rafe’s kitchen. You knew what was the matter, the same thing that was the problem every time that you thought about the brownstone a little too long. “What if something happens?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if something happens between us? What if we start renovating and you hate all the stuff I like or what if we move in and you break up with me-“
“Can I ask why I’m doing all these things?” He asked, walking back over to where you were sitting, turning the seat of your stool so that he could cage you in a little. “What if you hate the stuff I like or you break up with me?”
“That’s ridiculous.” You dismissed.
“Yeah and it’s ridiculous for you to think that stuff about me.” He replied, “look, I get it. I’ve never taken anything seriously before. All the shit my dad says about me is true but this,” He waved his hand between the two of you, “there’s nothing I want more than this. Okay?”
“Okay,” you nodded, “but I want pink cabinets in the kitchen or no deal.”
Rafe smiled, shaking his head before. “Whatever you want.”
“That’s dangerous.” You teased, leaning forward in your chair and tilting your head up a little, silently asking him for a kiss which he happily reciprocated. “I love you, I just freak myself out sometimes.”
The brownstone took six months to finish, six months of meetings with a contractor, six months of walking through half finished abstractions and picking out tile and flooring and cabinets and paint. Six months of talking about color schemes and trying to convince Rafe that the pink velvet sofa was moving into the house.
And somehow, during those six months, it wasn’t Rafe’s modern, spacious, sleek apartment that you co-habituated in but your apartment. Smaller, brighter, more homely. Rafe’s lease ended before yours and he wasn’t sure how you convinced him but he moved out of his apartment, sold furniture he didn’t care about, and moved into yours.
-
The brownstone wasn’t the only thing that occupied Rafe’s mind during those six months. Between work and renovations Rafe had started spending an unhealthy amount of time looking at rings. There was a significant difference between what he knew you would like (which he had to base solely on what he knew about you because damn it if you never brought up a wedding at all) and what he would’ve liked to give you. He considered asking but he thought that might be in bad taste, who asks someone to help with their own proposal. So he did the next best thing he could think of.
“This is so exciting.” Nina’s high pitched whisper was hardly a whisper at all, far too invested in this ‘no one could see them talking’ conspiracy. She claimed it was for your benefit, to keep the secret a little longer, but Rafe had a better idea that it was just so she could boast about having helped after the fact. “God, this one is beautiful.”
“I thought she’d like it, it’s not very traditional and it’s something she’d feel comfortable wearing at work.” Rafe replied. He decided that was an important criteria. You didn’t wear a lot of jewellery solely because you worried about six year old hands grabbing at it or losing it throughout the day.
“I like it, I think she’d really love it.” Nina replied honestly, “you should just go with your gut, you know what she likes.”
“I just second guess myself.”
“Well don’t, you guys are…it’s nice, to see her with someone that makes her happy. She used to be so stressed all the time with Ian and he was always such a dick to her.” Nina commented. She let Rafe take his laptop back, the two of them sitting at a table in the Starbucks near your apartment.
The ring was modest and, for lack of a better word, delicate. It had been the first one he’d seen that he’d felt confident about and hearing Nina confirm that you would love it reassured that anxious feeling in his gut. He didn’t know how to explain it in a way that made sense, that didn’t sound like some cliché sound bite, but this wasn’t something he ever thought about it. He had friends who thought about stuff like that, who made plans or thought further ahead than a week but he had never been one of them. Topper had been right, this wasn’t him. Or, not the version of him that he had been before.
“You have plans to propose?” Nina asked, sipping her latte and watching Rafe so casually ordering the ring right there in Starbucks like it was a pair of shoes.
“The house is done in two months so, I was thinking about waiting until then.” He shrugged.
“You’re gonna ask her to marry you just, in your house?”
“It’ll be first thing, kinda a ‘here’s our house, marry me’ thing. Why?” He asked. Rafe thought it was a pretty good idea. Take you to the house for one last walk through before you officially moved and ask you to marry right on the rooftop deck that you loved so much.
“Just wondered,” Nina replied. “You were so worried about the ring, I expected you to be more unsure about everything.”
“I knew the brownstone was the spot when we toured it with the realtor.” He replied, matter of fact. “Obviously don’t say anything.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
-
Rafe could’ve asked you about a ring, a wedding, future kids, and you probably still wouldn’t have put two and two together. It wasn’t that you didn’t think about those things because you did. It was like flipping on a TV that was only playing a series of ex machina broadcasts. Even if you weren’t thinking about it immediately it crept in. When Anya had told you about her honeymoon you immediately wondered what your own might be like, if it would ever happen. When a new class of kids started and a name stuck out to you as one you liked you’d start to wonder about your own future children.
You thought about the future to an overwhelming degree and you always had. But you didn’t think that Rafe did. Or, more accurately, you didn’t want to think about whether or not he did. What if dating was enough? What if the brownstone was enough? Your mom always spooked you with the same advice, “never move in with a guy before you’re engaged or you’ll never get married”.
You only broached the subject once, laying on the couch after a day of parent-teacher conferences and watching the Bachelorette because it was ridiculous and you needed ridiculous television.
“You could audition for this show.” You called as Rafe came out of the bedroom, changed out of his work clothes (slacks, button downs, you were truly blessed to see both sides of his wardrobe as often as you did).
“For…” he looked at the screen as he pulled his Duke University shirt over his head, “for the bachelorette?”
“Yeah, I bet you’d be like, a fan favorite.”
“I don’t know how you watch this, it’s all manufactured.”
“It’s kinda nice though, I mean they all get right to the point.” You replied.
“Saying ‘I wanna marry that person’ before they even know each other is dumb. Very rarely does that happen in real life.” Rafe said, walking into the kitchen.
“Will you make me popcorn? Also, it’s not dumb…you’ve never met someone and been like ‘that’s the one’ right off the bat?” You called.
Rafe grabbed the popcorn out of the cabinet, Fivel appearing at his feet at the sound of rattling. “Did you feed Five?” He asked, already opening the fridge to grab his food.
“Only dry food before I walked him.” You called back, “you didn’t answer my question.”
“Your question is a trap.” He replied.
You sat up, leaning over the back of the couch so that you could see him in the kitchen. “It is not!”
Rafe only hummed, ignoring you as you flopped back onto the couch to watch Chris Harrison announce that the guys were flying to Ireland for the next leg of the competition. Rafe looked back over at the TV before putting your popcorn in the microwave. Fivel ate and then headed into the living room, jumping up on the wing chair that you always kept a heating pad and blankets on. Somewhere in all the domesticity of his life Rafe had stopped thinking so much about the differences. He didn’t dwell too much on the kid he’d been in North Carolina and just let himself enjoy doing absolutely nothing with you on a Tuesday night, watch trash TV and talking about all the stuff you had to do in the upcoming weeks.
He carried the bowl of popcorn into the living room with a beer and a diet coke, depositing everything on the coffee table. He turned the heating pad on for Fivel before sitting on the other end of the couch from you, your socked feet tucking under his thigh. “College,” Rafe said, glancing over at you.
“What?” You sat up a little bit, moving away from him only to move closer.
“When I saw you in the stairwell at Duke. I was pretty sure.” He replied. Pretty sure was an understatement. If there was one thing that Rafe was positive about it was that he had known then and there, as you stood on the other side of the door in the cold, or maybe before that even, when you first walked into his line of view, that you were it. He would’ve chased that feeling forever if he’d never gotten a second chance at it.
“I was so nervous that night...I thought like worse case, you were gonna try to take advantage of me,” you pointed out.
“There goes my credibility.”
“Well, in hindsight, we did sleep together. But you’re just…I don’t know. Especially in college. I don’t think I’ve ever met a person in my entire life who so embodies the phrase ‘I get what I want’ but you certainly did then.” You replied. He still did now but you didn’t want to give him too much of an ego boost.
“I’d say I can’t argue but you never did call me back.”
“Yeah well you’ve got me now.” You teased.
Rafe had told Nina he had it all figured out. In two months he would propose to you, in the house you bought together, and it would be romantic and thoughtful and planned. And all of it went out the window for a Tuesday night in a cramped apartment watching the Bachelorette and eating popcorn.
“Marry me.”
“What?” You looked away from the group date that was dissolving into chaos on the screen. You had to shift back a little to look at him because when you’d moved you’d leaned your whole body against his.
“Marry me.” He repeated, that same confidence that had been seeped in every word that he spoke when he flirted with you in college was there now, as if he was just so incredibly sure of himself. “I was gonna wait another two months to ask but I’d rather not.”
“Okay, yea, yes.” You nodded. You felt like a whirlwind was going in your mind, all the things you wanted to happen, the things you pretended not to think about, that you spent far too much time on, came rushing forward as you kissed him, unconcerned with the TV or anything other than your boyfriend in that moment.
Rafe kissed you back, pulling you over his lap, hands on your hips. He was all for a quiet Tuesday but he certainly wouldn’t complain about having this instead. “Bedroom?”
“Yes sir.” You replied, arms wrapped around his shoulders and smiling against his mouth. Your grip tightened when Rafe stood suddenly, your legs locking around his waist as he carried you into the bedroom.
You had teased him the first time you toured your future home that he would have to buy a really good couch for the living room so he wouldn’t have to carry you up a flight of stairs. He’d only replied that he would have to put an elevator in.
-
“You didn’t ask about a ring,” Rafe pointed out, laying in bed with you, hand holding yours over his chest.
“What do you mean?”
“People usually propose with a ring.”
“Oh,” you scrunched your nose up and pressed your forehead against his shoulder, you hadn’t even thought about a ring. Anything that wasn’t solely Rafe had gone out of your head without much effort, your sole focus on him and the fact that he’d asked you to marry him. There was nothing else you could even imagine thinking of in that moment. “I totally forgot.”
“I was going to propose at the house, when we moved in,” he commented, tightening his grip around your waist as if he could pull you any closer.
“That would’ve been really nice.”
“I know.” He had it all planned perfectly, “so I won’t have a ring for another month or so.”
“You shouldn’t have mentioned it then! I might not’ve even realized it.” You teased.
“Oh, I’m sure you wouldn’t have.” Rafe replied, “you probably would’ve forgotten we were engaged. I could’ve re-proposed.”
“You should’ve, you could’ve made it more romantic.”
“What can I say,” he shrugged, “I’m impatient.”
“That’s okay,” you reasoned because honestly it was fine. This was good enough, “you just couldn’t resist me.”
“Yeah that’s what it was.”
“Hey!” You laughed, untangling yourself to sit up in bed, “hey, did you have a speech and everything? Was it gonna be like, really sappy?”
“I did have a speech, yes.” Rafe replied. “It was pretty good too.” And it should’ve been, he had drafts saved on his phone of different possible speeches he could’ve given you.
“Are you gonna not read it to me now?”
“It’s on my phone.”
“Easy fix.” Before he could grab you, you had gotten off the bed, running out to the living room. You made it to the other side of the door before you ducked back in, grabbing Rafe’s shirt off the ground. “Mrs. Murphy is home.”
“Flash her, she’d love it.” Rafe joked, laughing when you threw up the middle finger at him as you left the room.
Your window ‘neighbor’ was a retired older lady who liked to sit in her living room and pretend to watch TV. In actuality she had angled her TV just so that she would be able to watch all the windows on the building beside hers, your building, and she’d caught you in some fairly compromising positions since you had started dating Rafe. She was happy to peep and you were pretty sure Rafe purposely walked around the living room naked or next to naked just to give her a show but you most definitely were not.
“Is it in your notes?” You asked, coming back into the room with Rafe’s phone in your hands, swiping through apps.
“I’ll get it, give me my phone.” He offered, holding his hand out.
“I wanna read it.”
“I’ll read it to you.” Rafe replied.
“Fine.” You climbed up on the bed, hand pressed against the arched ceiling above your head to keep your balance, Rafe’s shirt riding up. When you got close enough he wrapped a hand around the back of your thigh, pulling and causing you to fall into his lap, knees on either side of him. “I was this close to kneeing you,” you said, holding your thumb and forefinger almost together as indication.
“But you didn’t.” Rafe took the phone from you, searching his notes to find the speech he’d drafted.
-
Though you were sure Mrs. Murphy was sad to see you go you were practically bouncing at the prospect of the new house. A house. The word felt so foreign. And maybe because you’d packed up all those silly childhood dreams ages ago when you decided that you would never be the type of person to meet someone that felt so wholly part of you. Nina got the childhood sweetheart life you’d wanted for so long and when you finally cancelled those plans and put your focus on a life that revolved around you and Fivel things like houses felt silly.
But there it was, something you’d only ever walked passed before. Three stories of space, four bedrooms, an office space, a kitchen that looked fit for the pages of a magazine. Rafe was sorting through books to put on the shelves in the living room space, and you were tackling the kitchen while Fivel napped on the back patio space.
“We should have an engagement party here.” You called over the music you had turned on. “Honestly we could have the whole wedding here.”
“I think we might need a little bit more space for a wedding.” Rafe replied, leaving the books in boxes momentarily to find you in the kitchen. You were on the floor, unpacking the pots and pans and loading them into the lower cabinets.
“I saw this post that this woman and her partner had a small wedding and did a lot of diy stuff and then saved all their money for the honeymoon.” You replied. “If we time it right we could honeymoon in the summer.”
“That’s fine with me.” Rafe shrugged, “you’ll be planning by yourself though, I’m going to Beijing in May, for the-“
“For that whatever thing your boss is having you do.” You cut him off, leaning back against his legs, “Lucky you. And don’t think for a second that I won’t harass you every day with emails and texts and facetime asking about what venue should we rent, where should we get pictures, what should we eat.”
“Can’t wait,” Rafe laughed, “we’ll figure something out. Though I do like this small wedding you're talking about.”
“That’s cause you hate everyone.” You replied.
Rafe was a party person in the sense that he liked showing off and parties gave him the opportunity but he was not fond of too many people. Polite, friendly even, sure, but he wasn’t rushing to plan too many outings that didn’t immediately benefit him in some way. The only close friends he had were from childhood.
“Fine then, we’ll have a big wedding.” He shrugged, stepping away from you and causing you to grab the floor before you fell on your back.
“No,” you groaned, “I don’t like people either.”
“I’ll only be gone a month; we’ll figure out the wedding details and all that shit.”
“All that shit.” You repeated, getting up off the ground and walking over to him.
“What?” He asked, skeptical as you smiled at him, wrapping your arms around his waist and tilting your head back slightly to get him to kiss you.
“We’re living together.”
“We have been living together.” He pointed out, just barely kissing you, nose brushing yours.
“Yeah, but this is our house.”
-
The wedding was small, exactly the way you both wanted. Rafe’s sisters were there by Ward and Rose stayed in North Carolina. Your family came and a few friends, you skipped inviting anyone from work aside from Anya, who came alone. The small church in was in Western Massachusetts, in your hometown, decorated with wild flowers and greens.
“Topper,” you whispered, waving your soon-to-be husband’s best friend, and best man, over to where you were, peeking out of the pastor’s office. You were almost completely ready, all you needed was your veil and you’d be ready to walk down the aisle. Rafe was already in the chapel, talking with your family as they waited for the pression to start.
“Hey,” Topper came over, giving you a quick hug. He’d arrived yesterday and you hadn’t gotten the chance to seen him because you were staying at your sister’s. You had made Rafe swear that the two of you were going to spend your pre-wedding night separate. “Cold feet? Want me to stall so you can make a getaway?” He teased.
“No.” You laughed, “will you get Rafe for me though?”
“Yeah.” He squeezed you in a hug one more time, kissing your forehead before pulling away, “you look beautiful by the way.”
“Thank you.”
Topper disappeared back into the chapel, walking up the aisle to where Rafe was, whispering in his best friend’s ear that you wanted him. Rafe glanced down the aisle, as if he could see you through the doors. He clapped Topper on the shoulder and headed down the aisle into the vestibule where the pastor’s office was. A few stragglers were chatting as he passed them, coming to the door and knocking.
You opened the door enough that he could just see you, your robe obscuring the dress you were wearing. “Hi.”
“Hey, you trying to cancel the wedding on me?” He teased.
“No, god, don’t listen to Topper.” You laughed, “I just wanted to see you. I missed you.”
“I saw you yesterday.”
“Rafe!” You pouted, glaring at him.
He placed his hand on the back of your neck, leaning in to kiss you, “hey, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I’ll see you soon.” Rafe promised, kissing you one last time before letting go, heading back into the chapel.
Everything felt like a blur that fast forwarded to the vows, standing there at the top of the church, pastor in front of you and crowd of family and friends sitting, watching, as Rafe read off the index cards he’d written his vows on. He’d obsessed over them, from the moment you said yes until now, he’d gone over them and over them and back over them. What if he said the wrong thing, what if he sounded stupid or insincere? But you were looking at him like he’d hung the stars, like no one had ever looked at him before.
He took a deep breath before beginning, “one time at your parents' house you tried to tell me about something Nancy Reagan said to her husband and I know I cut you off then but when we went home afterward, I read up on the President and his wife and I don’t know exactly what you intended to say but in a letter to Nancy, Reagan said ‘I more than love you, I’m not whole without you. You are life itself to me. When you are gone I’m waiting for you to return so I can start living again.’ When I saw you across the street, waiting outside the restaurant on our first date that was it for me. I knew in the stairwell of Duke that you were it and when you messaged me the first time after that I knew I was never letting this go…”
You listened to his vows, blinking furiously as you tried not to cry. It was a useless attempt, by the second sentence you could feel the tears, probably soaking through makeup that you’d have to redo before pictures.
“You never told me you read that,” you laughed, trying your best not to cry, “damn it.”
Rafe smiled, that same smugness he always had when he did something he knew you would undeniably love. You pressed the folded piece of paper to your chest, taking a breath before steadily unfolding it and looking down at your handwriting scrawled in successive paragraphs, all collections of feelings.
“Okay,” you breathed, looking up at the ceiling in an attempt to stop crying and then down again at the papers...
-
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Hizashi
Started 7/1/21
Done 9/27/21
Posted: 10/3/21
October 17, Late Morning, Council Meeting
Naruto Uzumaki 7 days old, Status Jinchurriki
Hey! Sorry for keeping everyone waiting, we had a lot of thoughts for the next chapter, a lot of drafts were written, most were trashed, and now we decided on giving you guys this.
(), ‘’, thoughts
“Speaking”
“YELLING, ARGUING”
[commentary]
“Welcome everyone,” said Hiruzen seated in the center seat of the council table.
“As everyone knows, our primary focus today will be to discuss repairs for the village districts that had been destroyed during the Kyuubi attack last week. And please do not argue, everyone will have the same amount of work. As expected, we will follow Plan Rebuild, Section C, Phase 2.” said Hiruzen.
---
Hizashi didn’t listen to much of it. He didn’t need to, he was just there to accompany his elder brother. Nobody was here to ask for his opinion. Hiashi was who they wanted there.
‘Well maybe they didn’t want Hiashi there either, Hiashi wasn’t exactly the most likable person in Konoha.’ thought Hizashi
He was only there because Hiashi’s child was arriving soon. So just in case Hitomi went into early labor like Kushina they would still have someone to carry out rebuilding plans. (because his little Neji-chan wasn’t important at all) And though Hizashi said he wasn’t listening, you would hear the civilians' complaints every few minutes.
‘They just had to bitch about everything, didn't they?’ thought Hizashi to himself
---
This council meeting seemed to go well enough, normal enough, if you took into account what had happened the previous week.
But then again they also kept on bringing up this, “What will we do about the dead bodies?” It was mentioned so often, honestly, he thought, they said shinobi were heartless but it seemed like they were the heartless ones. They were so comfortable mentioning death, especially deaths of their own loved ones. It made him wonder how they could claim to be people. Civilians made him feel sick.
Barely anyone asked questions about Minato’s death, it surprised him, though he ignored it without much thought, he supposed it was unanimously understood that Minato had died a hero for Konohagakure. Everyone did like the Yondaime..
---
He didn’t pay attention until Danzo started speaking, midway in sentence-
“-Uzumaki is an infant chosen by us to contain the Kyuubi, it will be the next jinchuuriki”
‘Wait, what? What the hell was Danzo saying?’ thought Hizashi as he started internally screaming and yelling at Danzo. (It’s an ingenious seal, Kushina’s favorite that she created, lets you yell all you want, cry all you want (particularly useful for the Kushina Bawl), scream all you want, all in your mind, and all people would see was a blank face. Kushina liked to call it the Blank Faced Asshole Seal, but she still officially listed it as the Blank Face Seal.) ‘What was he doing telling everyone about the jinchuriki? Why wasn’t the Sandiaime doing anything to stop Danzo?! Wasn’t the Jinchuriki an S-class secret?’ thought Hizashi, but with the Blank Face Seal all people would see was a blank face from Hizashi.
Only con was that it didn’t stop time, so he often found himself being asked if he was alright. (Kushina said the Time Stop was an easy seal (easy, my ass, thought Hizashi, but then again Kushina was an Uzumaki), but it would “fuck up the entire seal cus it ts’nt useable with the Humanlike Movements for Statues seal, that’s the thing about layered seals Hizashi, you are literally layering each seal on top of each other, and when you do that, sometimes it works, but most of the time, you end up with a burn or some other injury, they work fine on their own but they, say, repel, each other when used together at the same time t’tbane.” as Kushina said.)
---
“-that is all I have to say” finished Danzo.
And then the civilian council erupted into madness, screams and shouts that the child was a shapeshifter, the kiyuubi in disguise, fooling the Hokage and his besties, (‘if only they could form logical conclusions as fast as they form conspiracy theories’ thought Hizashi as he watched them get dragged out)(of course they didn’t actually call the Hokage advisor’s besties, that was an inside joke Hizashi knew) other people accepted the child was a jinchuuriki and could go rampant at any moment, a lot other hypocrisy and bull went ignored as ANBU had to drag them out the doors for the real council meeting to start.
Once the civilians were all evacuated from the room, privacy seals were activated.
---
‘Huh,’ thought Hizashi, that was unusual, though not really considering the kyuubi had just destroyed over half of Konoha a week ago. But those were the really old seals, not the normal privacy seals activated during more important than average meetings, that anyone could bypass, (but was anyone going to stop an important source of entertainment?)but the seals activated today were made during the founding days of Konoha, the best Konoha had since they were gifts from the Uzumaki clan. No one made better seals in the Elemental nations now, not even Kushina (and she couldn’t bypass them either).
Now on the thought of seals and Seal Masters, Hizashi couldn’t comprehend how in the world, [like in the whole universe how,] how Jiraiya was a certified Seal Master, Jiraiya wasn’t even certified a Sealing Apprentice of a certified Seal Master!!! Kushina only ever made it to Sealing Apprentice, but Hizashi could assure you, she could be a Seal Master. [if only her mother hadn’t] Jiraiya’s world of sealing was worlds below Kushina’s. It was like comparing the power of the Sage of Six Paths in his prime to a civilian childs weakest low. It was as if the sealing arts were a joke now.
---
Just then Hizashi checked the clock and realized his ramblings in his brain had taken up a sixth of the meeting, welp, he didn’t care, he’d been through enough briefings to know that nothing important happens in the first 20 minutes of the Shinobi council meeting most people get up to stretch or use the lavatory.
‘But who could blame them?’ thought Hizashi “they all had to sit in those flimsy plastic fold up chairs, while the Sandaime and his besties sat in better chairs. Honestly, he knew they had to cut budgets because of the toll the war had on them, but seriously? Seriously besties? Couldn’t you give us the same chairs you have, instead of letting us suffer here?’ Hizashi thought, as he walked back to his seat after washing his hands and stretching.
----
“Thank you for your cooperation and patience, (Hizashi sure as hell wasn’t cooperating anymore, the Hokage had just stood by while Danzo publicly revealed an S-class secret.) Since we have publicly announced the jinchuriki (aw bestie, you shouldn’t have!) new laws are soon to be,” said the Sandaime, with Koharu, Homura, and Danzo seated beside him.
“I’m sorry to those who will be affected by this as since Naruto Uzumaki is now a jinchuuriki, her life will not be as it was supposed to be.” said the Sandaime
“Anyone who was bestowed guardianship of Naruto Uzumaki under their wing after the death of her parents shall not, now,” said the Third Hokage. As Hizashi listened, his lips forming a frown.
‘Mikoto won’t like that when she hears’ thought Hizashi, and by coincidence, there she was as she stood up, all eyes on her, as she spoke. (He hadn’t seen her for three weeks, she never came by, and the Uchiha never let him into the uchiha Compound.)
#hizashi hyuuga#female naruto#naruto#fuck hiruzen#fuck danzo#ao3fic#kushina uzumaki#mikoto uchiha#baby naruto
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