#i have a college deadline on monday

[papas-milferia]

okay yknow what no fuck you i'm not letting papa louie lose this easy to a fucking CRAB not when this man has fought interdimensional food monsters and WON let's go through his timeline of capitalist bastard crimes:

in Papa Louie: When Pizzas Attack! he serves free pizzas to the people living in the apartments above his pizzeria - great right? WRONG. THE PIZZAS END UP BEING FOOD MONSTERS THAT TRAP HIS CUSTOMERS IN CAGES IN ANOTHER DIMENSION.

Papa Louie then runs off to save his customers - great right? WRONG AGAIN. HE ABANDONS HIS NEPHEW ROY TO RUN THE PIZZERIA ALL BY HIMSELF. The events of papa's pizzeria follows, and throughout the rest of the series, you can see Roy getting more and more jaded as his capitalist pig of an uncle forces him into various hijinks. (photo below from papa's cupcakeria which i will GET TO I PROMISE YOU)

Next game, Papa's Burgeria! Papa Louie mails out golden tickets like a fucked up willy wonka! Marty/Rita receives this golden ticket which reads 'Meet here for a prize!'. the prize ends up being a job flipping burgers, which they are not happy about in the slightest. apparently this is legally binding since marty/rita take up the job. reminder that marty is part of a successful ska-punk band called scarlet and the shakers (PUT A PIN IN THAT) so he doesn't NEED burger flipping job. HOW IS THIS LEGALLY BINDING AND WHY, LOUIE. INTERVIEWING PEOPLE ISN'T THAT EXPENSIVE.

Also in papa louie 2 the employees in papa's burgeria get kidnapped and brought to another dimension to fight MORE food monsters. THAT WASN'T IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION. technically not papa's fault but still.

Papa's Taco Mia! To celebrate the opening of his new taco restaurant, papa louie hosts a taco eating contest with a secret prize for the winner! guess what that super secret special prize is! ANOTHER FUCKING JOB IT'S ANOTHER FUCKING JOB. WHY IS HE ALLOWED TO DO THIS. HE'S MAKING MONEY OFF THE TACO CONTEST AND GETTING FREE EMPLOYEES. CAPITALIST BASTARD.

Papa's Freezeria, a classic! This time, his employees Alberto/Penny actually willingly signed up for the job.....but under false pretenses. The employee manual mentions two things: Stress Free Work, and Great Wages and Tips! ....except employees are required to pay for all shop upgrades with their own money (because why would PAPA pay for HIS OWN RESTAURANT?), and also he's bringing a CRUISE SHIP, FULL OF PEOPLE, TO AN ISLAND THAT WAS MEANT TO ONLY HAVE 12 PEOPLE ON IT.

The employees in Papa's Freezeria, AND THE PEOPLE ON THE CRUISE SHIP (which by the way is called the SS Louie because Papa Louie is an egomaniac), also end up getting kidnapped by food monsters and brought to another dimension. As ya do.

In Papa's Pancakeria, Cooper/Prudence park up at papa's pizzeria to get a pizza, leaving their cat/dog in the car. Said cat/dog then sees a squirrel, jumps out of the car and goes chasing it and getting lost. Cooper/Prudence put up signs asking for help to find their pets, and guess who respo- IT'S PAPA LOUIE YOU ALREADY KNOW IT'S PAPA LOUIE. Their pets are in papa's pancakeria, so cooper/prudence trek up to Maple Mountain to get them. their cat/dog is indeed there! But with a note in their mouth that reads "Cookie/Pickle really likes it here in the Pancakeria. I need a favor too -- Run the shop while I'm gone. - Papa Louie." THIS IS NOT AN ETHICAL OR LEGAL WAY TO SOURCE LABOUR, PAPA. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.

In Papa's Pancakeria, Papa Louie shows up at Chuck/Mandi's house alongside Foodini who's a tv celebrity. This is like if guy fieri and steve harvey showed up at your front door. Chuck/Mandi have won a trip to Starlight City! Which is basically the flipverse's version of vegas. upon arriving they see a giant slot machine and papa louie encourages them to try their luck! THIS IS RIGGED THIS IS SO FUCKING RIGGED BECAUSE WHEN THEY ROLL ALL SEVENS ALL THEY GET IS A JOB IN A BUFFALO WILD WINGS. FUCK YOU PAPA LOUIE.

in papa's hot doggeria nothing bad happens Taylor and Peggy are just dumbasses who thought signing up for a job in a hot dog restaurant in a giant baseball stadium wouldn't result in them having to.....serve hotdogs.

AND WE'RE BACK TO PAPA'S CUPCAKERIA! Basically in this one we see Papa Louie and Roy driving along together. Roy is wearing the cap of the Cupcakeria uniform - it seems he's no longer a delivery boy! He owns the cupcakeria now! He's moving up in the world, finally! Surely papa is finally going to appreciate his efforts after all these ye- A CAR HITS THEM. Roy is FURIOUS, which is kind of out of character for how cowardly he is. he steps out of the car and demands cash from the driver, willow or james, for repairs. HOWEVER, PAPA LOUIE SEES A FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOES. he shoves a wad of cash into roy's hands, whips off roy's hat, and places it on the james or willow's heads. thereby cursing them to a fast food job they did not agree to. This is Roy's villain arc I think.

In papa's pastaria, Doan/Utah tries to find a hotel booking in Portallini. The only available option though is the room above papa's pastaria. They book the room, AND IN SECONDS, receive a box on their doorstep with a pastaria uniform and a plane ticket leaving IMMEDIATELY. I guess doan or utah just didn't read the fine print. but getting the box there in all of five seconds probably used a private jet which is terrible for the environment. capitalist pig.

In papa's donuteria nothing bad happens Scooter/Tony just thought working in a donut shop in a theme park meant they would get to ride rollercoasters all day instead of. serving donuts.

PAPA'S CHEESERIA. IS A FUCKING DOOZY. Okay so Rudy and Scarlett of Scarlet & The Shakers fame (REMEMBER THEM? YEAH.) are about to have a live concert in papa's brand new cheeseria! they park outside the cheeseria and go in to talk to papa louie. when they come out? their instruments have been stolen! instead of...calling the police, or offering to help buy new ones like a normal person. papa louie INSTEAD offers A FUCKING JOB. this man is HEARTLESS.

at the end of cheeseria Guy Mortadello, the thief, gets arrested and Scarlett & The Shakers have their concert. for some reason. KEEP GUY MORTADELLO IN MIND, HE'LL COME BACK AGAIN.

jesus i'm tired and not drunk enough for this. okay. papa's bakeria - timm/cecilia get a job in a dance studio, their dream jobs! only when they show up to whiskview mall to meet the owner....the building is for lease. devastated by the loss, timm/cecilia sit on a bench to sulk. PAPA LOUIE THEN POPS UP LIKE A FREAK AND INSISTS TIMM/CECILIA WORK FOR HIM INSTEAD. THEY DO NOT WANT THIS BUT HE'S SO FUCKING FORCEFUL THAT THEY DO IT ANYWAY.

In papa's sushiria, Matt/Clover shows up to the sushiria to find a sad papa louie! Nobody came to opening day! I don't believe this. or feel bad for him. he's a multi millionaire by now and this is a ploy. He butters up Matt/Clover with free boba and sushi, and as they're leaving - they knock over a cat statue. PAPA LOUIE IMMEDIATELY POUNCES, PRONOUNCING MATT/CLOVER TO BE IN DEBT TO HIM, AND FORCES THEM TO BECOME AN EMPLOYEE IN THE SUDDENLY VERY SUCCESSFUL SUSHI RESTAURANT. HM.

remember Guy Mortadello? Yeah he's back in papa's scooperia. koilee/carlo takes a trip to oniontown (the flipverse's NYC), sees the sights which is nice! and then at night, goes looking for accommodation. idk why they didn't already have some booked but maybe it's because of what happened in Pastaria. they end up finding a room, and who's renting it out? GUY MORTADELLO OF COURSE! In the night, Guy steals Carlo/Koilee's luggage, and as it turns out, the room they booked? is the upstairs room of papa's scooperia, which is still being built. When koilee/carlo stumble downstairs in the morning and explain that they've been robbed and have no money to even get home with - papa louie offers to help! ....by giving them a job. Interviewing people is just too expensive i guess.

In papa's mocharia (to go!) nothing super egregious happens, except papa's employees (allan and akari) HAVE to be in a documentary that's being made ABOUT the mocharia. this was actually in the fine print so papa louie is innocent here.

PAPA'S CLUCKERIA! THE FINAL GAME! JESUS! In this one, papa louie scouts wylan b and olivia at a job fair and offers them a position in a 'top secret' new restaurant in oilseed springs. papa's restaurants are famous by now, so of course they accept. when they get the job, papa louie shows them around the shop, and leaves. without telling his workers that there's currently a CHICKEN SANDWICH WAR HAPPENING IN OILSEED SPRINGS. THEY DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS LOUIE.

and that's all the games! every single one! papa louie's crimes are numerous, and this isn't even all of them if I'm being honest. a couple honorable mentions:

Guy Mortadello used to have some successful chain restaurants selling meat pies, and frozen foods. But they all went out of business after Papa Louie came along. PAPA LOUIE IS THE REASON GUY MORTADELLO TURNED TO A LIFE OF CRIME. HE IS TO BLAME HERE.

Roy, Papa Louie's nephew, is still a fucking delivery boy. Papa is rich enough to buy a BOAT and set up ALL THESE RESTAURANTS. Yet Roy still lives in a shitty apartment above the pizzeria he's been working in for probably 15+ years now.

He made the bakeria workers work during covid

Capitalist Bastard $howdown:

Round 1, Match 9

Directory

[nexo-nex]

I always feel so bad on sundays yum

[polymoth]

.

[rorygilmre]

i am the only person i know who would get trashed at a frat party, get taco bell at 2am, and then write my thesis at 3am when i'm still a little nauseous from all those drinks

[yourkevlar]

so stressed out and defeated.

[snixx]

the funeral will probably be next week:)

I'm going to fucking kill myself

[miabebe]

Reverse Trope Series - Accidently Kidnpping A Mafia Boss (Teaser)

Kidnapping the Yoon Jeonghan was not on your 2024 bingo but sometimes, shit happens right?

Pairing - Yoon Jeonghan x afab!reader

Word Count - Teaser is 1.3K, I'm not gonna promise a number for the full fic just yet

Genre - Strangers to something more than that I guess? Crack because there’s ‘dumb’, ‘dumber’, ‘dumbest’, and ‘dumbest of them all’ so you can imagine and also angst, just a small splash and smut. Loads of it (not here but in the full fic)

Warnings - none for the teaser, mentions of kidnapping and mafia. (But just to be clear, this is not like your usual mafia fics - it’s not dark, there’s no violence and things of that sort)

Estimated posting date - I have a shit ton on my plate right now so I don’t want to stress myself out with a deadline! If you want to be in the loop, please follow me or join the taglist by commenting, sending a message or an ask, thank you!

Thank you @taechwita613 for bearing my annoying self yet again 💕

"You're being a real pain in my ass right now." 

"I don't see how it’s an issue since that’s not much of an ass." 

Seokmin glared at Seungkwan.

"Just because some stupid college club awarded you a silly superlative-"

"-best bakery in town is not a ‘silly’ superlative-"

"-like once-"

"-twice. In a row-" 

"-doesn't mean-" 

"-absolutely does-" 

"Will you two shut up?" You hissed under your breath looking around. "Are you trying to get us all caught?" 

Seungkwan clicked his tongue annoyed. "You're acting like we're in the middle of a crime." 

Your eyes flickered from Seokmin to Seungkwan before landing on the third guy between them, the one who was unconscious and being held up with his arms thrown over the shoulders of your friends. 

"Last I checked, kidnapping is a crime." You pointed out.

Seokmin rolled his eyes. "Pranking your friend isn't."

"That is if Soonyoung decides he wants to save your sorry ass."

"Again, not much of an ass-" 

"I swear to god Kwan-" 

Groaning you covered your ears to shut out all the bickering. 

That night when drunk Soonyoung had pushed your buttons, consequently leading to the events of tonight, you did not think it would be this hard. 

The plan was simple - on Mondays Soonyoung was in charge of closing the BBQ shop where all 3 of your closest friends worked part time. His routine was fairly straightforward - first he clears and cleans all the tables, then he closes the kitchen, then changes out of his uniform and finally wraps it up by locking the main door. 

That's where you would get him, right as he closed the doors. You were to take him by surprise from the back, cover his face with a black cloth bag then bring him to your apartment and tie him up leaving him immobile, blinded and helpless. 

One might wonder why such cruelty when you called him a friend but you would argue that Soonyoung deserved it. After all that night, he hadn't stopped mentioning how you were boring and your life was so uninteresting and you didn't have a single exciting adventure while he had a shit ton of them. Well, today you were about to give yourself, and him, a story to tell.

Now things did go according to plan, for the most part. Seokmin and Seungkwan were first reluctant to be a part of this madness but that was until you brought up the prospect of Soonyoung being scared enough to hopefully piss in his pants. Intrigued by the idea, they joined and all three of you waited in the bushes, watching your friend's silhouette moving around the shop, putting things away, cleaning up. Just as he reappeared after changing, hurriedly trying to leave the shop, the three of you got to action, approaching him silently from the back, swiftly holding him by the hands and putting the bag over his face. 

What you didn't take into account in this plan was just how much resistance Soonyoung would show, God knows why you didn't consider his adrenaline driven reaction, but man did he put up a fight. It was only natural you retaliate and so instinctively, you landed a smack on his head with the torch in your hand knocking him out, making him buckle into the pavement as the two other boys caught him, looking at you bewildered.

That was perhaps just the beginning of your problems because now you had to very unsuspiciously drag a very unconscious man to your apartment in the dead of the night. It would have helped if this neighbourhood was even a little sketchy but being a quiet, painfully uneventful suburb meant even the smallest of things was seen with high scrutiny. 

So far, the three of you had somehow managed to make it from the restaurant to your building undetected but it was getting from the first floor to your house that was the real task since the building's resident old woman decided she wanted to feed the stray cats at 2 am. 

"How much longer are we gonna have to do this?" Seungkwan groaned. "He's surprisingly not that heavy but my arm is starting to sleep."

"Yeah, this joke isn't as funny anymore-" 

"Will you two just keep quiet?" You turned to them annoyed. "She'll be gone in a few minutes and then we can move. Didn't you guys say you wanted Soonyoung to shut up for a few days?” 

Seokmin mumbled a yes under his breath while Seungkwan nodded hesitating. Hoping for some silence after this, you turned to watch the old woman stroking the cat softly as it slowly nibbled its food. Although your patience was really being tested, something told you if you didn't go through this plan, in another 40 years, you'd be exactly like that old lady - lonely, boring and feeding stray cats. Terrified by that thought, you held it together even though it took a whole 15 minutes for the scene to clear. As the three, no four of you, proceeded towards your apartment, the stray cat watched, licking its paw. 

Seungkwan and Seokmin groaned in relief as they half threw Soonyoung onto the chair you pulled to the middle, rubbing their aching shoulders. Scouring the drawers, you pulled out a rope with a soft “aha” making them turn towards your unnaturally happy self. Soonyoung stirred in his chair.

“You're a little too excited about this-” 

“Shhh!” You covered Seokmin's mouth with your hand, whispering. “If you talk, he'll know it's us, then it's not scary anymore.”

“Frankly, I think the kidnapping and knocking him out cold must have been scary enough already.”

“Not enough” You glared as Soonyoung let out a soft groan, letting you know he was coming around. “Quick, take my phone and open that AI app. We'll type what we want to say and use the bot voice - that way he'll have no idea.” 

All three of you huddled, glancing at the phone as Seungkwan typed something quickly, pressing play to let the low toned automated voice echo through the room. 

“I cannot wait to see Soonyoung shit his pants.”

Seokmin giggled as your lips curled into a pleased smile. Oh, he was surely going to shit his pants. 

“And why would I do that?” Soonyoung's voice sounded confused.

“Because we-” 

Seokmin looked up, freezing mid-sentence, noticing the voice did not come from the person before him. 

All three of you exchanged looks realising the same before slowly turning around. Soonyoung  was standing at the entrance like he just walked in, looking bewildered. 

Before any of you could process the situation, he pointed over your shoulders, frowning.

“And who's that?”

Oh. 

“And why is he wearing my clothes?” 

Oh no.

You turned back to see the man in question, slowly pull the black bag from over his head, shaking his golden tresses away from his face. Oh lord was he gorgeous. 

As he blinked his eyes open, wondering where the hell he was, you were busy running your eyes all over his pretty features and suddenly, in that short span of 20 seconds, you had memorised where every single mole on his face was. 

Seokmin and Seungkwan held your arms on either side half hiding behind you which was stupid considering you were the biggest coward in the room. 

But somehow, as the man before you looked at all of you with narrowed, accusing eyes and tried to stand up, you swung your arm and smacked him right on the head with the torch again. All three boys gawked at you as the man fell back into the chair again, head rolling to the side, unconscious. 

“What the hell mate-”

“I'm sorry I panicked!”

“Will someone tell me what's happening? Why is he wearing my clothes-”

“Shut up Soonyoung.” Seungkwan turned to you looking terrified. “Do you have any idea what you've done?” 

“Hey, this can't be just on me, we all thought it was Soonyoung-” 

“Me???” 

“-how is this my only fault-” 

“Because!” Seungkwan raised his voice pointing a shaking finger. “The man you just knocked out again, that's…that's….”

“That's…” Seokmin's eyes widened in realisation. “That's the city’s most wanted criminal, Yoon Jeonghan.” 

A/n -I have tagged all those on the current taglist in the comments, if you wanna be added to the taglist for the fic or for the series, please let me know by leaving a comment/sending an ask or a message!

[kbspangler]

This is the public statement from @alepresser and myself which went up at Webtoons tonight.

Now for some ranting. Just from me, not from Ale—she's innocent of the art crimes I've committed in the past, and boy howdy have I committed art crimes.

This is the first page of my first webcomic, A Girl and Her Fed. I started this thing back in 2006. (I don't actually need a head count of those reading this who weren't yet born in 2006. I'm sure you're delightful and I wish you well in college.)

And this is the last page I drew in early 2020 before I turned art duties over to Dr. Beer. It's better, right?

Well, these days, A Girl and Her Fed has pages like this:

I drew this comic for fourteen fucking years because it's a story I wanted to tell, and I thought webcomics were the perfect format for it. I didn't know how to draw. I got better through sheer obstinate perseverance and sticking to deadlines as best I could for, again, fourteen fucking years. I sought out a replacement artist when I ran into time constraints and couldn't do art plus writing anymore; I'm a much better writer than an artist, so I had no problems whatsoever kicking art to the curb.

The first time Ale sent me art that would go up on the website—art I hadn't needed to draw myself—I literally cried in relief because I had been grinding myself down for, yet again, fourteen fucking years.

So when I read comments from people who say they want to make a webcomic but can't draw themselves and therefore need to resort to AI, that little line between my eyes gets dangerously deep.

This isn't like I'm some old dude who's bitching over student loans getting cancelled after making regular payments. This is me, someone who threw raw art onto the internet like a monkey hurling fresh poo, because I wanted to make a webcomic and the art is part of the process of storytelling via webcomics! I could've (arguably should've) hired an artist right out of the gate, and that would've been part of the process of making comics, too: a partnership between an artist and a writer is also something which grows and develops over time.

For example, after Dr. Beer and I spent two years working on AGAHF, we decided we enjoyed our partnership so much that we set out to make another webcomic! It's great! It's got wonderful art and consistent storytelling! You should read it!

But turning art duties over to unaltered images generated by AI because you want to make a webcomic but "just can't draw" is, frankly, a bullshit excuse. I'm not talking about persons who are physically unable to draw due to disability—I'm talking about people who say they want to make webcomics but simply don't wanna do the art part.

Friends, if you don't want to show your entire ass in front of God and country, you don't actually want to make a webcomic.

Do the thing yourself.

If you're scared, don't be. Take the plunge. Set a goal of twenty strips and do the thing yourself. If you can already draw but can't write? Great! Write twenty strips, write forty panels, etc. You might surprise yourself. If you can write but can't draw? Great! Draw twenty panels and see what happens.

Whatever comes out of it, it's a thing you've done yourself. It's something new you've given to the world, no matter how big or small. Be proud of that. And if you need to partner with someone else to make your comic dreams work? You can do that, too! It's still a thing you've done yourself, and many projects are stronger when done together.

...but maaaaaaaaaybe hire that partner before you've busted your own ass for fourteen fucking years. That one's on me.

[blooberrries]

『monday misery』 — yuji

— pairing: yuji x reader — genre: college/university au, slight crack — wc: 1.7k — rated: sfw — notes: when inspiration strikes you gotta follow it ya know. this cracked me up more than it probably should have

prompt: I don't know why you've got a ferret on a leash but at least I've stopped crying on public transportation to watch that lil guy go

The tears are still damp on your cheeks, another set budding and ready to go, when you see it. Something small, something wriggly, something wormy.

Something that has absolutely no business being on the 8AM train into the city central.

Just moments ago it felt like the world could come to a crumbling end around you, and you’d embrace it all while sitting there and doing nothing but emptying your tear ducts of every single drop of moisture they could spare. You literally could not imagine a single event that would have stopped your exhaustion and assignment deadline-fueled weeping. You wouldn’t have been surprised if you just kept on crying, forever. The future was bleak and not set to look up anytime soon with an 8.30AM lecture looming on the horizon.

But this… this is a variable you never could have predicted.

The sheer lunacy of it has stopped your tears in their tracks, and now you’re watching the poor guy sitting across from you like he’s an animal in a zoo. He has noticed, and it has made him sweat. A large hand comes to scratch the back of his neck, fingers ruffling the two-toned hair. The cherry-blossom mop atop his head really only adds to the comedy of what you’re witnessing.

Something is worming around under this man’s clothes. Which, you have to admit, does sound like a poor excuse to be drilling holes into him right now with your eyes – but that’s not it! You saw something poke out earlier. Something furry, with beady eyes and such rapid twitching head movements you’d swear the thing was on crack.

It’s a fucking ferret.

The worst part is, no one else around you has even noticed! Or maybe they don’t care. Truthfully, they seem to be giving this guy a wide berth— and you for that matter, being across from him and all that. Or maybe it was the silent weeping and looking out the window like you’re in your own early 2000s music video. There’s no way to know.

To his credit, cherry guy looks embarrassed. Good. You don’t want him thinking it’s anything normal to tote around a ferret in the quiet carriage, like some noodle-shaped teacup dog. The only way he could get away with it is if he at least had one of those exorbitant handbags he was keeping it in. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like any vessel on this green earth, luxury or otherwise, could keep this tiny demon contained.

Your eyes burn in the aftermath of your sleep deprivation and crying spell as you watch the man try and push the ferret’s head back into hiding, and the little mongrel, without even a split-second of hesitation, chomps down on the closest finger. Cherry guy whimpers, eyes slipping closed in something akin to defeat and resignation.

At this point you’re beginning to feel that he didn’t bring the ferret, but instead the ferret brought him.

A few minutes is what it takes for cherry guy to gather the strewn shreds of his pride. When he opens his eyes next, their chocolate hues meet your own. He leans forward a little, as much as he can without the hell noodle slipping loose from his cotton prison, and whispers ever so softly across the space.

“His name is Mahito.”

You frown, and can physically feel your eyebrows scrunching together like it was a crime they had ever been apart. “What, like the drink?”

Apparently you hadn’t asked that as quietly as you’d thought, because you get shushed by someone three seats down right after. Wait– three seats? There’s no way they’ve all moved even further away.

Cherry guy looks like he is seriously contemplating the question, and you wonder if the ferret is even his or just some poor animal he snatched off the streets. “… No. Probably… not.”

You stare at him, sniffling. Your face is almost entirely dry now, skin feeling tight instead of damp. “Uh-huh.”

Steadily, the man’s face begins to flush as mortification warms his sun-kissed skin. Silence beats painfully on between you. Eventually, you break it.

“So, uh. You do this often? Carry around a ferret in your shirt?”

The flush spreads to cherry guy’s ears. “Um, no. That would be weird.”

You incline your head, lips pressed firmly together so you don’t let a laugh slip and make him feel worse. “Indeed.”

“He’s not mine,” he blurts suddenly, and like the ferret has a flourishing vocabulary and outstanding comprehension of the human language, he rips out of the bottom of cherry guy’s shirt and sinks his teeth into the flesh between his thumb and forefinger in retribution. You wince, and the poor man has to cram his fist to his mouth at the speed of light to muffle the slew of profanity that begins to escape.

A few moments full of deep, meditative breathing later, he lowers his fist and scowls at the ferret that is only now removing his jaw from the tender flesh of his hand. He hisses lowly, shaking out his hand. “You little rat bastard. Just you wait till we get home and Sukuna finds out you snuck into my backpack again. You’re gonna get sent to macaroni prison for sure.”

You raise your brows. Ah, so that’s what must have happened. That actually explains a lot. You can’t help your smile now. “What a darling little angel.”

Cherry guy’s head snaps up to shoot you an incredulous– nay, borderline affronted look. “He’s awful, truly. Actual hellspawn. I have to buy a new gaming headset every other week because the little monster chews through the cords so often. I tried keeping my door locked while I was out but the little bastard just turns his body to liquid or something and worms his way under.”

A strangled sound escapes you when you barely manage to lock down your laugh in time. Cherry guy continues, apparently needing to vent about the foot-long menace more than he’d anticipated.

“My brother actually already replaced his door with one that doesn’t have a big gap at the bottom, but he keeps refusing to do it for mine every time I ask because he thinks it’s funny that his little agent of rat chaos eats through half my stuff on the daily.” He huffs, glaring at the wriggling noodle that he has now trapped in his hold. An older woman gives a very strongly disapproving look from four seats down before returning to her killer sudoku. “I have not known peace since he has entered the house.”

You wince, feeling a little sympathetic. “Damn. How long has your brother had him?”

You expect it to be an awful long time, based on how burdened this man seems to be by the mere existence of this ferret. His answer makes you physically bite down your reaction, your entire body tensing from the effort.

“Uh, a month or two.”

Yikes. You’re scared to think of what the rodent might do once he’s actually settled in.

Silence settles between the two of you once more, broken the chime of the conductor’s voice echoing over the speakers as you come one stop closer to the city. A few people disembark, including the lady that gave the stink eye earlier. She does it again as she steps off, and cherry guy shrinks into his seat. The doors close, and once more silence falls, though more comfortable than the first time.

A while later, the man shifts, a complete contradiction to the tornado of movement that the creature in his hand is doing. The noises escaping the little thing are hard to ignore, and even harder to keep a straight face at.

“What, uh… what were you crying about?”

You blink at him as your gaze returns from the window. You’d actually forgotten you were crying earlier, which is pretty funny considering at the time you were acting like the world was about to end for a solid fifteen minutes at least.

“Oh,” you say. It’s your turn to flush a bit in embarrassment. “Uni assignment, due today. There was a spillage and, um, that doesn’t tend to bode well for artwork on paper.”

Cherry guy winces. “My condolences.”

You nod, allowing a moment of silence for the work of art your assignment could have been, before speaking again. “Thanks… and, well, that’s one good deed your little hellspawn has done. Seeing him wriggling around under there like he was about to burst from your chest definitely distracted me from my existential crisis.”

Cherry guy hums, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “Okay. I guess I’ll put in a good word for him when we get home.”

You smile, whatever you were about to say next interrupted by the chime of the conductor announcing your next stop to be the destination you need to get to campus. Out of habit, you gather your things and stand, before pausing and turning your gaze to the pink-haired man still seated and wrangling a chaos being with the viscosity of YouTube slime. After having another look at him, it’s clear he’s a fellow university student. You’re guessing he was on his way to his classes when he discovered the stowaway in his bag. No doubt he now has to head back home and drop the ferret off before doubling back for his own classes.

You have a lecture at 8.30AM, but to be honest… you don’t want to spend the rest of the day miserable and mourning your assignment from the get-go. Talking with this random guy about his ratchet ferret has completely cancelled out your earlier feelings of angst, and it’s… nice. You kind of want to return the favour and help distract him from his misery.

The doors begin to shut, and the pink-haired man looks up in alarm as he notices you’re still here. “Wait, won’t you–“

“Yeah,” you say, swivelling on the spot and plopping down right next to him. You turn your head with a smile. “But that’s okay. Gotta look after my mental health and all, you know?”

He blinks at you for a second, before a warm smile breaks onto his face. He’s handsome, you notice from this close up. Almost painfully so.

“Yuji,” he says, by way of introduction. You return with your own name, and he beams wider. “Wanna hear about the time Mahito got into a fight with my brother’s other ferret Jogo?”

“Absolutely.”

[itiswormtimebaby]

Time

You're beginning to question why Bucky won't sleep with you, but you ask the wrong person

Pairing: Biker!Bucky and Bug (+Brother’s best friend Bucky, Plus sized fem reader) (Steve is reader’s adopted brother) CW: Friend’s calling each other “bitch”, references to sexual acts

“I don’t know if I should call you a stupid bitch, a dirty bitch, or a lucky bitch.” Cilla, the platonic love of your life, stares at you from the passenger seat of your car. “Straight out the gate and he’s already hitting it raw, I guess I’ll go with all three you stupid, dirty, lucky, beautiful” she tacks on the end to soften the blow, “Bitch.” Stupid was probably fair, dirty was a compliment, and lucky was factual so you let the comment ride without protest. There was one thing that was bothering you about her statement though, “I don’t think it’s fair to say he hi-”

“Bitch,” She cuts you off, “be so fucking for real.” 

“He turned you into his own twinkie- cream filled.” The voice comes from the backseat where McKenna, the third member of your friendship trio is devouring a nerds filled grape slush. Cilla groans in disgust at the bad joke while you pull a face in the rearview mirror, refusing to break eye contact with the man until he cracks first, slowly lowering his plastic spoon back into the sticky purple treat; “I, uh, I really regret saying that.” “Good! That was fucking weird, and now we all have to live with it. Sit in your shame.” Despite your admonishing tone there’s no real upset behind you words as you carry on;

“But as I was SAYING, it was just the tip so I don’t- like it doesn’t feel like that counts. Don’t get me wrong, it was amazing, I just…” The silence sits heavy in your ears but you can’t find it in yourself to continue, suddenly embarrassed despite being in the presence of the two people you’ve trusted with damn near every dirty little secret you possess; why hadn’t it progressed past that?

“Fuck it! Who wants to lose their virginity on a Monday, anyway?” McKenna’s outburst breaks the silence and blessedly removes the spotlight from you, “Yeah,” you acquiescent with a half-hearted chuckle, “you’re probably right.” The conversation moves on quickly enough, though the thought is persistent in your mind- why hadn’t it progressed past that? 

Hours later, McKenna returned home to his husband, sun dropped beyond the horizon, you pull to a stop outside of Cilla’s house, the dark-haired woman making no move to exit the vehicle; “How are you actually feeling about it?” There’s clearly only one situation she could be referencing but in truth you’re not sure how to answer. She was the first call you’d made after coming down from your chocolate-brownie-hell-high, after Bucky finally showed back up in the aftermath, after dates one through four, and especially after five, she’d heard details even McKenna hadn’t, every salacious little tidbit. But you hesitate now, a bond forged in college deadlines, all nighters, stress induced coffee comas, movie marathons and evening walks had blossomed into a beautiful friendship with two main tenets; you burn I burn, and no bullshit. You knew she would listen and take it all in without judgment, but part of you hesitated, worried that her honest take, because she would be incredibly honest, wasn’t something you were ready to hear. 

“I’m confused,” You finally settle on. She doesn’t offer acknowledgement besides a small hum, no pushing, no rushing. “Everything has felt so good.” At that Cilla does let out a little snort, raising her eyebrows suggestively, though makes no other move to interrupt; “I wasn’t actually talking about that, though he does make me feel amazing. I just mean…Bucky’s been in my life since I was pre-pubescent, he may actually be what jump started puberty for me,” Cilla’s eyes roll at your joke as you pause again to gather your thoughts. “He was this larger-than-life presence, cocksure, the muscle to Steve’s mouth and I just- oh my god I was so in love with him. I’m sure there’s still notebooks floating around where I waxed poetic about his eyes, wrote Mrs. James Buchanan Barnes over and over again in the margins…”

You peter off before taking a steadying breath, suddenly thirteen again and trailing along behind Steve and Bucky, the latter of which was the epicenter of every girlish daydream you had. “He had this girlfriend when we were in High School, Dot? I was so fucking jealous of her, she had everything I wanted because she had him. I know Bucky cared about me, in some way, but it wasn’t the same as he cared about her and it broke my heart.”  You can still picture her; pretty red curls, shy smile, hand wrapped in Bucky’s anytime he was within arms reach. 

“Once he enlisted, once there was some space between us, I realized there was a lot of naivety I needed to tear through-” You hesitate, fearing the explanation will be muddy but push on anyway, “like, the love I felt was real- but I also built it up a lot in my head? In a way I think it was probably unfair to him, projections from a kid who was newly navigating the difference between romantic and platonic love, but everything just felt so big and all encompassing.”

“He was your first love.” 

“He was,” You nod in agreement, picturing  Bucky at fifteen, knuckles bloody, Steve behind him with a bruised eye and busted lip, the body of your latest would-be-bully crumpled on the floor, “but that’s not- that’s not how he felt about me.The romantic love, or infatuation, or whatever- it was one sided, very obviously so. I used to wish it was different, dream of a day where he’d drop Dot’s hand and reach for mine but then I realized-” You squeeze your eyes shut, thankful for Cilla allowing you to set the pace of the conversation as you ruminate over the relationship, “I realized after he’d left how shitty that was, just because he wasn’t in love with me didn’t mean he didn’t care, what we did have wasn’t a consolation prize.” 

Your friend rests her hand gently on your forearm, nodding her understanding; “Life went on, he and Steve were deployed, I was in school, they came home, they joined the club, he dated other girls, I dated…But I never really got over that feeling of first love, it just- deepened?” You nodded your head at that, happy enough with the explanation, “It sprouted new roots, more substantial ones, I fell in love with him all over again, a different version of him in a way.” 

You were getting to the part you didn’t want to say, the part that worried you most, “Like I said what we had wasn’t a consolation prize, Bucky’s always been one of the best people in my life, even when I probably annoyed the hell out of him. I’d made peace with knowing that how we felt about each other didn’t line up and then, well…” 

“Then he showed up on your doorstep with flowers begging for a date?” 

“He showed up with flowers after I accosted him with my feelings.”

“Don’t forget the FINALLY.” She prods you pointedly at that, having been driven half mad over your analytical obsession with the word, when I FINALLY fuck you, “he clearly had thought about it, and he even said that’s not all he wanted, don’t go where I think you’re about to go.”

“Where am I about to go?” You ask her. 

“Questioning his intentions, whether he really likes you, wants to be with you…HE asked YOU out, that means something. Just because y'all aren’t having sex doesn’t take away from everything else.” 

Everything else. Cilla was right of course, it’s not like Bucky was running around acting disinterested; he brought you flowers, took you on dates, kept you fed, ran errands with you just for some extra time together, gave you mind blowing orgasms, made you laugh. But then why…

“But then why won’t he sleep with me? He clearly cares about me, thinks about me, but why not- his body count is high, why not one more?” You deliver the last line like a joke, but no part of it feels funny. “I know he cares about me, truly I do. But I guess I just worry- like he’s cared about me since we were kids, so maybe he doesn’t want to sleep with me because he’s figuring out that romance isn’t what he really wants between us and that’d be harder to walk back having-”

“Don’t,” Cilla cuts you off, “do that.” You look at her a bit helplessly as she pushes on, “Has he actually given you any indication he doesn’t want to date you? Aside from not sticking it in?” 

It was crude but she had a point, and you knew Bucky, knew he wasn’t one to string people along. 

“No.”

“Exactly, it’s just dick, don’t let it ruin something special.” 

“I just- I’m all in, so why is he holding back?”

“It’s still a new relationship-”

“I’ve known him forever-”

“But not like this. This is new. He may not be exactly where you’re at but clearly he has feelings for you. My advice would be to hop out of your head and just enjoy things as they progress.”

You nod once in acknowledgement, still not quite ready to move on from the topic;  “Should I just ask him why?” 

Cilla mulls it over for a minute, “I… wouldn’t, not yet. Give it some time.” 

Time, right.

But you couldn't help the worry that persisted, what would Bucky be figuring out in that time?

All things Bucky and Bug found here: to be loved Main masterlist: here

[sadclowncentral]

now just who are you larping spinach cultists with.

while desperately trying to finish my essay on ecological futurism during a study session, i read in one book that research indicates that spinach can be used as a lithium substitute in batteries. upon sharing this with my study group, my equally academically exhausted and equally strange best friend asked a question that would shape the next three years and counting of our lives: "if spinach is the future of energy, why the fuck are we in college and not spinach farmers?"

this set in motion a frantic and procrastinating research on everything from spinach cultivation to farm lot prices, and in only a few hours the plan b of farming unfertilized spinach for battery production was cemented. the next day, when asked by our baffled friends why the fuck we were so obsessed with spinach all of a sudden i, with the unhinged hysteric energy that only severe sleep-deprivation mixed with energy drinks and the pressure of a deadline can bring, decided to summarize the previous evening with: "spinach is our beacon of hope." things escalated from there.

i have an entire wall in my apartment filled with art about spinach. there is a spinach mixtape, spinach clothing designs, and a spinach manifesto. for my last birthday, three people independently gifted me spinach seeds. me and the spinage (age of spinach) group meet every second monday to brainstorm new ways to spread the gospel. i spent three hours last night compiling satellite data images of the production site of a german spinach distributor and our enemy #1 (long story) to figure out their harvesting patterns. my real boss at work has asked about "my spinach thing" and i didn't even know where to begin explaining the motivational spinach poster i had put up in my office.

you know, i'm not even sure it is a joke anymore. apart from commiting to the bit with your friends being a joyful activity, spending my free time researching spinach and creating art about it genuinely makes me feel like there is a brighter future and helps relieve my anxiety about failure. should i get fired from my job, my life doesn't end - my life as a spinach farmer begins. by claiming spinach to be a beacon of hope, i spoke it into existence. the future is now, and it's leafy green and rich in nutrients. spinach forever

[bright-and-burning]

okok vague writing prompts?? idk if you want one word or tropes but here is a list: nervous; college au; office worker au; insecure; flushed; siren au; zombie apocalypse; flutter; hoarse; clenched teeth!!!! hope something interests you!?!??! im sorry if i fail!!!!

omg so many thank you anon!! i went with office worker au, but i will be saving the other ones for the future :) if you see any typos it’s bc i wrote + posted this in one go and also no you didn’t <3

“And that’s why our new procurement process is, uh, brat,” Zak says, slightly choppy over Zoom. They really need to sort out the wifi in this wing.

Lando snorts, loud in the empty set of cubicles around him. He gets a lot done during these calls; nobody else works in person on all-staff meeting days.

“Jesus Christ,” someone mutters.

Nobody but Lando and this guy, apparently.

Lando double checks that his camera and microphone are off before popping his head over the grey cubicle wall. He doesn’t need to pay attention until Andrea starts talking anyways, and Zak’s only just hit eight minutes of monologuing. He’s got at least three more minutes before he needs to check back in.

“Hello,” Lando mouths, before realizing there’s no way this guy just broadcast his muttering to the full all-staff meeting. He repeats himself out loud.

“Hi?”

New guy’s face has gone all scrunchy.

Cute.

“I’m Lando. You’re new?”

He certainly wasn’t in the building for last month’s all-staff. Lando would know. He’d taken advantage of the empty office and switched his shitty desk chair for new guy’s cubicle’s nice one after the last guy left. Whoops.

“Oscar, kind of.” New guy, Oscar, is still trying to pay attention to Zak. Can’t have been around that long, then.

“Nice to meet you, kind-of-Oscar.”

Oscar pulls another face. Lots of faces on this guy.

“I meant-“

Lando cuts him off.

“I’m fucking with you. How are you ‘kind of’ new? There’s no way I missed you.”

Oscar’s eyebrow raises, even as his cheeks go a little pink. Lando shrugs, lucky that embarrassment doesn’t show as easily on his face as it clearly does on Oscar’s. He didn’t mean it like that. He also didn’t exactly not mean it like that, now that he’s said it, but that’s not the point.

Oscar pushes through Lando’s blunder like it never happened.

“I started last month? Andrea let me work remotely until I found a place. Didn’t sort things out till last week, so only been here,” he gestures at his undecorated cubicle, motion somehow infused with dryness, “since Thursday.”

Lando nods. Makes sense: he was out last week and neck-deep in deadlines on Monday. Oscar could’ve been a talking giraffe and Lando wouldn’t have noticed before today.

“You in analytics then, or?” Lando lets the sentence hang. He’s not all that sure what other departments they even have. Probably what paying attention to the all-staff is for. He’ll just ask George at drinks next week. Half to wind him up and half because he needs a list to work off of if he ever wants to figure out what Bottas does.

“Database management, actually. Think they ran out of desks in their wing, had to shove me in with you guys.”

“Well,” Lando says, dramatically sweeping his hand around, “welcome aboard.”

They smile at each other for a second too long.

Oscar opens his mouth. Lando glances down , and then down further to his watch.

“Oh shit, Andrea’s gotta be starting soon.”

Lando dips down fully onto his side of the wall, a little frantic. He pokes his head back up a moment later.

“See you around, kind-of-Oscar.”

Oscar laughs as he disappears behind the half-wall separating them again.

“See you around, Lando,” he says, smile audible in the quiet office.

Lando puts his headphones back on.

“—ank you to accounting. That’s everything in finance; anything new in data, Andrea?”

Perfect timing.

[mugiwara-lucy]

Now while we've done GREAT with Early and Mail In Voting; I'd like to talk to the men in my audience.

Every though we're all on the same page I need us all to understand something; especailly if you happen to be a MAGA MALE that follows me.

This picture basically sums up what I'm about to say:

IF Trump wins and we get Vance (Because based on what happened Monday, it's obvious he will NOT last four years), Vance will no DOUBT pass a Nationwide Abortion Ban and he's also talked about DEFUNDING PLANNED PARENTHOOD. Now assuming he does all that and what the picture says above.......I'm sure we all enjoy using Sex Toys, Condoms and having our own versions of Sex and the City. Should Trump/Vance win? Say goodbye to having Recreational Sex/Oral Sex/Using Contraceptives and Sex Toys and even WATCHING PORN.

The Republicans want a Christian Theocracy where we all live a Conservative Ronald Reagan bullshit society where we all wait until Marriage to have Sex or risk having a baby since basically the restraints will be banned and IF that happens; you're gonna find VERY LITTLE if ANY women will want to have sex anymore. ESPECIALLY if there's NO WAY to prevent us from being pregnant if we don't want too. And I know Trump and Vance said they're gonna delegate the responsibility of women's health to RFK Jr but....NO. I'll talk about that tomorrow. But anyways.....

The ONLY solution to avoid this Gilead/Handsmaids Tale fuckery nightmare is to V-O-T-E BLUE DOWN THE FREAKING TICKET!!!! Here is the link below to register to vote along with the deadlines varying by state! Also, your own vote isn’t enough! Get as many people as you can to vote for Kamala be it your friends, cousins, parents, grandparents, old friends from high school and college, coworkers, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, stepchildren (if they’re 18 and over) and the list goes on and on but every vote counts! ALSO PLEASE check your registration DAILY because MAGA WILL purge your voter registration!!!

And early voting has started! And if you don’t wanna vote on November 5th, Early Voting is another option! Like I said get as many people as you know and try early voting that way you can avoid MAGA fuckery on November 5th! Down below is a list of dates by state:

And Mail in Ballots are ANOTHER option I highly recommend!! And like I said get as many people as you can to take advantage of this option! BUT if you decide to go with Mail In/Absentee Ballots; PLEASE mail your ballots at the ACTUAL USPS office!! That way MAGAts won't fuck with it.

And if you’re an American who lives overseas; PLEASE use the option of voting overseas since I know every country other than North Korea, Russia and China do NOT want to see Trump’s stinky ass back in the Oval Office! Here’s a link below:

So in short; the moral of this post?

Vote Blue down the ticket or your Girlfriend will be your hand and the bottle of lotion on your desk.

[hayatheauthor]

Update Regarding My Sudden Hiatus + Author/Publishing News

Guess who's back from the dead!

Jokes aside, I truly do feel terrible for going on hiatus without saying anything, and then I come back and see that I've hit 2k (which btw is absolutely amazing and left me shell-shocked) and that just made me feel worse for leaving unannounced. So, here's everything that's been going on:

(click read more if you want to learn about my experience at my first writer's workshop & pitching to an agent ++ publishing updates for The Traitor's Throne)

If you DON'T want to read more: long story short I'm back and will revamp this blog Monday onwards.

Would you look at that I'm finally getting the hang of Tumblr etiquette!

Anyways, I know if I took the liberty of casually explaining everything we would just be here all day and I would ramble endlessly SO, I'm going to summarise everything into a list:

One of the biggest reasons for my departure was because *insert drum roll* I graduated! That's right, your girl is officially a diploma holder and ready to conquer college! Although I've seen the 'finals week or my final week' meme enough times to start questioning what I signed up for.

My writing life has been a little...disappointing. There's no other way to break it to you folks, but when I started this blog, I was knee-deep in the query trenches, and now, I'm still there. Does that suck? Yes. Am I going to give up? Absolutely not! BUT I do have some changes planned:

I've officially decided if this final shot at traditional publishing doesn't do well, I'm going to give in and self-publish The Traitor's Throne in May-June 2024. Which means you might potentially be able to purchase my baby pretty soon!

BUT I decided to give querying one last shot and actually joined a writer's workshop (which is going on as we speak btw). I joined the online Boston Writing Workshop, I'll drop a review on that on Sunday, but so far I've actually learned A LOT from it, and have decided to give querying another go while implementing what I've learned. Dw I'll also be putting out a review about the workshop on Sunday.

So, here's a summary: I've created a self-publishing deadline for my current project while also giving traditional publishing a final shot. I also joined my first ever writer's workshop this weekend and will be pitching to agents for the first time.

Overall, I think my lack of success in the querying scene kind of made me feel like a fraud when giving writing advice. I'm the type of author who does A LOT of research when I write, which is why I have so many tips on so many topics, but that doesn't make me an expert.

This workshop especially made me realise I've been making some rookie mistakes and focused so much on my story that I forgot the query and synopsis are just as important. Maybe this realisation came too late and I've lost my chance of traditionally publishing The Traitor's Throne, but I am grateful for everything it's taught me.

ANYWAYS—see what I meant by we'd be here the whole day if I didn't use a list??

Let's get back to the important stuff; yes, I will start putting out blogs again, and answering my asks. I'm also thinking of launching a beta reader project where I'll beta read some of your works for free! Stay tuned to see that announcement since it'll come soon.

Thank you so much for supporting this silly little blog of mine, and I hope you have a good weekend! As always, I'll see you on Monday! 💕✨

[decapolicemoment]

College Days: 1

(or Carl having beef with a minor)

He was finally here; Broadstone Police College. He’s worked his ass off to get here, working hard to earn enough money to fly here from Britain, not wanting to rely on his parent's business. Sure, their money is helpful, but being independent is what he craves the most, so he took as much as he could and left the country, moving into the dormitories.

He was told a week ago that he would have a roommate, and although it would be helpful in some circumstances, he spent the whole week praying that they would be nice and help clean up around the dorm. They were supposed to come today, so it was a matter of time before he would meet them.

He packed his bag, slinging the strap over his shoulder before leaving the orientation room. Most people were still there, chatting with their professors or classmates. As much as he wanted to make friends here, he wanted to be there for when his roommate arrived, whenever that was. 

He walked through the hallway, trying to find the exit when he walked past someone who caught his eye. He was blonde and a little bit shorter than Carl was, an inch or so. He was fixated on the map hanging on the wall, staring at it as if he was trying to figure it out.

“Hey, you need help?” He put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to slightly flinch, turning to face him. His wide blue eyes staring at whoever snapped him out of his trance. He relaxed, glancing back at the map.

“Whoever made this sucks with directions. I’ve been walking around trying to find the dorms.” He pointed a finger at the paper on the wall. “You have any clue where it is?”

Was he new? Most people have already settled into their rooms, but then again, the deadline hasn’t passed, so maybe he was just late. “Yeah, what building are you in?”

“Eh?”

“You got a key right? It should have your building number and room on it.”

“….I was supposed to get a key?”

Carl smirked, covering his mouth to hide the giggle that came from it. His eye twitched, not understanding the humor in his situation. 

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing nothing, I’m just surprised you didn’t know that.” He waved his hands in front of him, a slight smile still on his face. The blonde grew more annoyed, rolling his eyes at his comment.

“Not everyone got to come here early, you know? Some people never got a tour of the place.”

“I didn’t tour here either.”

“Okay? I didn’t ask if you did. You still got here before me so you’ve already walked around campus.”

He sighed, wishing he hadn’t offered to help him out. “Listen, I have somewhere to be, so let’s just go our separate ways, okay?”

“What, you have a girlfriend or something?”

“What? No.” How he managed to come to that conclusion was beyond him. The blonde looked him up and down, a judging look on his face.

“Yeah, you don’t seem like you would have one,” he said, shaking his head.

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

He turned away from Carl, a grin on his face as he strutted down the hall. He waved as Carl yelled to him again. As he became farther away, it hit him.

He never gave him directions. 

Good. Serves him right for being an annoying little twat. He continued the other way, opening the exit door. The light breeze hit him as he jogged to the dorm building. He didn’t live too high up, so there was no point in him taking the stairs.

Opening the door to his dorm, he looked to see if anyone had arrived before he did, realizing that it was completely empty. He started to worry for whoever they were, hoping that they were coming soon and weren’t injured or lost. If he knew who they were, he would have tried to find them.

He thought back to the guy he met in the hallway, praying for whoever might have to dorm with him. Maybe he was lucky enough to get a single room, though he doubts it since they only give those out if there aren’t a lot of people or if you have a disability.

He plopped down on the couch, scrolling on his phone to pass the time. Classes didn’t start until Monday, and it would probably be mostly icebreakers that day. There wasn’t much to do except wait for his dorm mate to arrive 

Apparently he wouldn’t have to wait that long, as someone knocked on the door. He sat up, hearing someone try to open the door on their own, keys rattling. Another knock, followed by, “Open the door please.”

He knew that voice, but he couldn’t quite place from where. Standing up, he went to open the door, only for it to open on its own, hitting him in the face. 

He clutched his nose and groaned, hearing his new roommate start to apologize, only to stop. He faced them, neither of them talking as they made eye contact.

“YOU!” “OH COME ON!”

He closed the door behind him, glaring at him. He went past him towards the bedrooms, Carl following to make sure he didn’t go in his. Surprisingly, he ignored the open room and went straight to the closed one, sliding his suitcase on the floor and closing the door again.

“I really don’t want to share a dorm with you, but I don’t feel like changing, so how about we call a truce.” He stuck a hand out to him, half lidded eyes staring at him.

“A truce? Are you serious?”

“God, just be the bigger person and shake my hand already.” They shook hands, both looking as if they didn’t want to. 

“Great! Name’s Harvard Marks.”

“No ‘nice to meet you’ or ‘Sorry for hitting you with the door’?”

“I’m not a liar. Besides, it’s your fault for standing behind the door.”

“You’re the one who asked me to open it!”

“If I knew it was you, I wouldn’t have asked.”

“What happened to your truce?”

“I can still not like you, I know you don’t like me either.” He was right, but he was less vocal about it, rather than Harvard who makes a comment about him in every sentence.

“You never asked my name.”

“Isn’t it Carl? It was on the paper the office gave me.” He nodded. 

“Cool, lemme see your schedule real quick.” He complied, not realizing what he asked.

“Perfect, we share some classes.” That was not perfect, he didn’t want to have to deal with him both in and out of the dorm. He glanced at both their schedules, them sharing most of his classes.

“Great…,” he mumbled, already regretting everything. He wondered if it was too late for him to get a new roommate. 

Over the span of a week, Carl realized a few things about his roommate.

One, that he was actually quite smart and skilled. Though, he needed to be to back up his cockiness.

Two, that he wasn’t such a pain in the ass to other people, it seemed to be just him. 

Three, he was tidy, and made sure to clean up after himself. 

And four..

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE 16?!”

“I mean that I’m currently 16 years old, what do you think?” He looked annoyed and amused at his question.

“How old did you think I was?”

“I thought you were just a short 18 year old..”

“We’re the same height??”

“Barely, but that’s not the point.” Harvard grinned at his exasperation, as he tried to wrap his head around his roommate being a minor.

“You should feel bad for harboring such hate for a minor,” he clasped his hands together, letting out a small whine. “In fact, you should be ashamed and buy me coffee as an apology.”

“Hell no. It just means I can’t fully blame you for being immature.” He ruffled his hair, getting a yelp out of him. He slapped his hands away before huffing. 

“Says the one who had beef with a teenager.”

“Well I didn’t know you were a teenager.”

“You say that as if you wouldn’t have beef if you knew I was one.”

“Can you drop it? I have class in a few minutes.”

“Only if you buy me coffee later.”

“Sure, just go away.” He saluted, before going back to his room. Carl sighed, brewing himself a pot of coffee.

This year was gonna be long.

[noonaishere]

noonaishere Masterlist!

So now that I have more than one fic on this blog, I suppose I have to make a master-masterlist, for all the masterlists I have now. For all these masterful lists.

Here are the fics:

OLDER FICS

(These are all on AO3. Some have smut some don’t. Reader discretion is advised.)

Work of Art [Jeong Jaehyun]

By: noonaishere (main blog: symphonyofmars)

Fic type: social media au / traditional

Pairing: Jaehyun x fem!reader

Genre: slow burn, friends to lovers, college au (replacement for Dear.M? I don’t know about you but I’m still salty it was cancelled)

Warnings: allusions to emotional and financial abuse, backhanded compliments, negging, sexual assault, drinking, suicide mention

Status: completed!

SYNOPSIS:

Y/n is an art student who - through much hard work and many scholarships - has gotten accepted to the Neo Cultural Technological Institute, a foremost University in Seoul, Korea. There, she makes friends, keeps up with project deadlines, and meets one Jeong Jaehyun. She knows she’s there to work but… the dimpled dancer just might sway her heart.

[WORK OF ART MASTERLIST]

Online/Offline [Choi San]

By: noonaishere (main blog: symphonyofmars)

Fic type: social media au / traditional

Pairing: San x fem!reader

Genre: cafe setting, streamer, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, male lead secrets

Warnings: stalking, verbal abuse, online harassment, attempted kidnapping, “honey trap”

Status: Currently updating

Updates: Mondays and Tuesdays at 12pm EST

Synchronously posted with Music of the Heart

SYNOPSIS:

Y/n has been a faceless streamer since she was 17 or 18 and - even though she’s friends with an idol from a popular group - no one knows who she is. Things start to go wrong when someone posts a picture in front of her old job and she makes the move from her hometown to Seoul. What will happen when she makes a whole bunch of new friends at the nearby cafe?

Also, how does y/n’s existence connect to t/n, someone she’s never met?

[ONLINE/OFFLINE MASTERLIST]

Music of the Heart [Jeong Yunho]

By: noonaishere (main blog: symphonyofmars)

Fic type: social media au / traditional

Pairing: Yunho x fem!reader

Genre: music industry setting, musician/producer, enemies to lovers, mutual pining, running from the past

Warnings: overbearing parents, verbal abuse, sexual harassment, drinking, suicide mention

Status: Currently updating

Updates: Thursdays and Fridays at 12pm EST

Synchronously posted with Online/Offline

SYNOPSIS:

T/n has always loved music, though her experience of it wasn’t always the greatest. Forced by her parents to learn the violin - almost purely to climb the socio-economic ladder - she’s since forged her own path. She auditions at Wonderland Entertainment and becomes one of their studio musicians, but how will she deal with seeing her ex-best friend who also happens to be contracted under the company?

Also, how does t/n’s existence connect to y/n, someone she’s never met?

[MUSIC OF THE HEART MASTERLIST]

All my fics are filled with fandom in-jokes and if-you-know-you-know’s, so I hope you have fun finding all of them 😁

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(also, if the tag list doesn’t work for you or something, just let me know)