#i have MANY plans for binghe

[sunderwight]

Thinking about how lucky it is that Shen Qingqiu (SY version) never gave Luo Binghe the wrong impression that he wanted a harem.

Like imagine they've having a conversation and Shen Qingqiu makes some offhanded comment about a harem is all well and good, but he thinks it should definitely be of a manageable size, hint hint, with individuals who get along harmoniously and support their primary spouse, hint hint, and marrying almost everyone you hook up with is just bad form because it's inevitably going to cause friction and it'd be nearly impossible to properly look after that many extra spouses, hint hint.

Luo Binghe picks up on the hints but draws the entirely incorrect conclusions. Combined with his previous inquiries into what kinds of women his shizun likes (SQQ, not wanting to ever be seen as LBH's potential romantic rival and eager to free himself of the original's lecherous reputation: I have no interest in any women whatsoever!) and some subtle inquiries about when a person should settle down (SQQ, with unexamined anxiety at the prospect of his dear disciple heading out into the world: not too soon! a man should establish himself well and figure out what he likes first, and take his time!), Luo Binghe concludes that his master has been biding his time and is building up to constructing a reasonably-sized harem of malewives.

Because apparently, Shizun believes that a man in a position of significant power should inevitably want such things. And disciple Binghe isn't thinking of "a position of significant power" as "effective god-emperor of the whole world", his current ideas of such things are more along the lines of "peak lord" really. Also why should Shen Qingqiu make so many comments about how Luo Binghe must surely be anxious to start taking lovers or daydreaming about having a billion wives unless he just thinks that's the standard for everyone? Because that's what he wants?

It was chaotic enough when just one of these guys was bracing himself for the inevitable harem-building, but if Binghe also expected he was going to have to supply Shen Qingqiu with a stable of other men, hoo boy. Binghe telling himself that he's fine with it. As long as he's first wife, Shizun can have others. Getting particularly vicious towards new guys Shen Qingqiu meets, like okay he's resigned himself to Liu Qingge, and probably maybe also Yue Qingyuan, and in those cases definitely having to fight them tooth and nail for primary spouse position (his plan is to become the undisputed master of the domestic sphere and thereby outrank them on that front, even if he can't beat their peak lord credentials), but anyone else is someone he can potentially chase off and Shizun will still have his reasonably-sized harem. If Gongyi Xiao wants into the harem he's going to have to earn it, and he's getting bottom of the pecking order!

Binghe, after they finally get together, trying to have frank discussions about the inevitable harem. Shen Qingqiu putting on a brave face because he, of course, thinks Binghe's talking about his own harem. Getting confused as to why Liu Qingge is suddenly factoring into the conversation. Then reaching entirely the wrong conclusion because oh right, Binghe is gay now and Liu Qingge is extremely pretty. Makes sense! Definitely not what Binghe means but it makes sense!

Actually this would be a hilarious way for bingliushen OT3 to happen. Just a complete comedy of errors where bingqiu are both trying to secure Liu Qingge for each other without ever concretely establishing that either of them wants him, even though they think they have.

[liramic]

I FINAIHED I FINISHED I FINISHED THE THE DEEP DREAM DRAWING, I HAVE MANY THINGS TO SAY PLS READ MY NOTES AAAAAAA. IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO INCLUDE ARTIST NOTES FOR PIECES BUT I HAVENT HAD A PIECE WHERE I HAD SO MANY DETAILS AND SPECIFIC PLACEMENTS OF THINGS AND REFERENCES UNTIL THIS

ok so this is one part of the deep dream extra and skdkdkfsf I've been wanting to draw it forever aaaaa

Man. I sob everytime I read deep dream extra and there's a couple rly specific scenes that rly fucking Get To Me. I'm planning to draw all of those scenes so this will be one of multiple pieces dedicated to the extra (idk when I'll do the others skdkdkfjs but they're in my brain skdkdjf).

This one specifically is when current sqq's watching binghe as he works in the past and he never gets to see this serious side of binghe cuz outside, binghe would get distracted whenever he comes in and stops doing his work 🥺 It's so fucking cute. BUT ALSO SO SAD WTF. The description of how binghe prepares food for sqq even tho he's dead and lets it stay out until it gets cold....the same congee that he prepared for sqq back at qingjing peak because if someday shizun wakes up, he would be able to eat it immediately....

I rly wanted to portray the feeling of sqq being the source of light to binghe in the scene even tho binghe can't see him. So even tho there are glowing candles on the right of the piece, they're not shedding any light on binghe and the light source on him is sqq. I also made it so the color is emanating from sqq and it's spreading through the room. Sqq brings in some color and a bit of a breeze to this otherwise very bleak time of binghe's life....

Also, the actual dead sqq from that time is lying on the bed behind them... Oh and bamboo in the lower right corner cuz binghe was trying to grow bamboo in the demon realm so I wanted him to keep a stalk of it in a bottle on his desk bc it reminds him of qingjing peak

Small note about binghe's design but he doesn't look like how I usually draw him now (ref below) - mainly no hair braid and hair ribbon loopy bow bc that's my post canon binghe design and I'd like to think sqq braids his hair and puts the ribbon in <3 so uh yea binghe during the five years and anytime during canon would not have that T^T

anyways, pls be sad with me

[ransackedhouse]

Saw someone talking about this again but I was thinking about modern cumplane before transmigration having hooked up and before the IAC they accidentally mention it. Shang Qinghua becomes enemy number one.

They met in college after finding out each others ID’s and eventually decided to “practice” with each other. Cue transmigration. Reveal happens earlier than in canon. At a peak lord meeting someone jokes about Shang Qinghua being bad at sex and turns to Shen Qingqiu and says to defend him. He just scoffs and says he is bad. (“Then why’d we keep doing it” *fan hit*) All eyes on them. No one has ever been more focused on their meeting discussion before.

Poor Shang Qinghua gets so many death stares. People start being petty and dump more paperwork on him. Liu Qingge challenges him to a duel. Young Luo Binghe is gritting his teeth and planning revenge, he can sense it, he knows his son. He’s planning his escape now.

[allpiesforourown]

Goodnight one quick thought for the cherry magic au:

Binghe giving the clumsy employee in their department a bunch of iced drinks. He regularly buys snacks for everyone because it makes him look like a nice guy and is one of the many things that keep him popular.

When the guy offers a drink to shen yuan, binghe subtle kicks a computer cable in front of his foot, making him trip and spill all the drinks over shen yuan. She yuan is drenched in sugary milk teas and lattes and assures the employee he's fine and makes his way to the bathroom

Binghe slipping in after shen yuan and saying "xiansheng, allow me to help." Shen Yuan stiffens (he's been distant towards binghe lately for some reason) and insists he'll be fine on his own. Binghe says nonsense, it'll take forever for him to clean up alone

The wet shirt sticking to his skin would have been tantalizing enough, but shen Yuan hesitantly unbuttons and removes it until his torso is bare for binghe to see.

Binghe takes the shirt out of his hands and their fingers brush

Binghe: that fool.. if he'd spilled the drinks properly, shen yuan would have had to remove his pants too...

Shen yuan: binghe planned this!? He'd go that far to humiliate me in front of everyone..?

Binghe rinsing the shirt under the tap and holding it in front of the hand dryer. Shen yuan is wiping his chest with a wet towel while Binghe watches

Shen yuan shivers in the air conditioned office air and says his body is so sticky, it might be best to just go home and take a shower.. (binghe has some thoughts about making shen yuan even more sticky and unfit to be seen in public, which shen yuan also misunderstands)

Shen yuan isn't at work the next day - he called in sick. Binghe cajoles the hr man into giving him shen yuans address so he can bring his beloved boss some soup... and he finds shen yuan at home feverish. He got this sick just from wearing a wet shirt for a few minutes?

Binghe: so shen yuan's body is that sensitive.. that's good to know...

Shen yuan half asleep: he's in my home checking how easy I am to subdue .. I should ....

Shen yuan passes out and wakes up cuddled in binghes arms. Binghe claims shen yuan wouldn't let go of him in his sleep, but he can hear his thoughts and knows that's a lie.

Why would binghe softly cradle a sleeping person he hates...? Shen Yuan is starting to get a little confused ...

[monokoitari]

I'm thinking this idea so hard that I definitely have to write it down, but shit!! It's hard for me to capture Shen Yuan's chaotic vibes in a good narrative way

So it begins like this: Shen Yuan transmigrates. Not into Shen Qingqiu. He opens his eyes and there are two massive tits crushing him, a luxurious room, a garish and bitchy System with kaomojis. Well, he's a wife. A Binghe's wife.

Shen Yuan wants to run away, obviously. Get his penis back, get his MASCULINE MALE MANTASTIC body back, and get as far away from Binghe and the harem and their shitty dramas as possible. He doesn't need that, no thanks. The System obviously doesn't let him. [ You're a wife, user!!! You must behave like the original goods until you collect enough points to unlock the OOC!! ]

And the shit begins. Little harem dramas. Uncovering clues like silly children's puzzles. Shen yuan is fed up, bored, moody, hated by many wives (apparently the original goods were not in good standing. Half-demon, which is good- more power and more strength when escaping!!, but not for a harem wife. Especially since that body is 5'10" and is strong as a sword instead of submissive and bendable like the other sweet wives).

Even though the System keeps putting him in shitty situations, the truth is that there is no trace of Binghe during the first week. Nor the second. By the third, Shen Yuan gets a little worried. According to the current storyline, he shouldn't be far away... No wars, no new wives, just a missing Binghe. Shen Yuan snoops around Binghe's office with such bad luck that Binghe definitely shows up at that moment.

And Binghe looks... Tired. He's tired and grumpy, treating the wife with ice-cold kindness, and Shen Yuan treats him back. It's not that he wants to! It's not that he's offended to see his favorite and be horrible to him! It's the fucking shitty System! If Shen Yuan could, he would be on his knees before Binghe being pathetic and pitiful to ensure his protection!!

But he can't. Binghe sends him away after a cold and hostile encounter and Shen Yuan runs away in a dignified manner (running after the corridor where Binghe can't see him anymore is different).

The next morning, Shen Yuan makes a plan: he will do whatever it takes to get his last damn twenty points to activate OOC mode and get the hell out. Nope, no more Binghe for him. One taste was enough. Thanks but no thanks.

What gets complicated is when one of Binghe's personal servants!!! goes to his room. Binghe is inviting this lady wife to have breakfast with him. And Shen Yuan... He can't say no. Partly because of the System, partly because of the ambition for points, partly because he wants to try Binghe's food. And because he wants to... see Binghe. Again. He's his favorite, okay, don't judge him, maybe Binghe was just tired and being hostile to him. The duties of an Emperor are many and Shen Yuan was invading his private territory. Aaaaand he's a wife, after all, he can't treat him like that aaaaaall the time...

Binghe's breakfast is a delight. In his month at the palace, he has eaten nothing more delicious. Binghe is darkly charming: Shen Yuan asks about her (him), how she (he) is, how she (he) has been. Shen Yuan learns two things: the original goods had only been in the harem for a month and week when Shen Yuan usurped his body, and Luo Binghe doesn't know much about his wife, which means he can improvise answers without losing his in-character personality. The System even gives him +5 points for improvising!!

... +5 points that go to hell when Luo Binghe exposes a scroll on the table. Written in the original goods handwriting... it's a divorce application!!

"I was in my office" says Binghe as the System takes 50 points from him of a blow.

Of course Binghe is going to be wrong now. Of course he is believing that Shen Yuan filed for divorce the day before, when he found him in his office!! Damn original goods, why divorce Binghe!? Does divorce even exist in PIDW!? WHY!?

Shen Yuan makes up excuses, loses at least 20 more points, makes up more things again and sadly crawls with only 15 points in his favor and a rather furious Binghe.

Why does this wife want to abandon Binghe? This emperor has been kind, does this wife want something different? Shen Yuan makes up that he never imagined being married to an absent husband, capable of making him feel so lonely in a nest of other lonely women... And Binghe seems genuinely affected by it. Ah, loneliness, the weapon Binghe knows firsthand. An isolated and caring newcomer, being mocked and humiliated by others, seeking to remain resilient. Binghe, this one promises that he didn't use your past traumas on purpose!!

Binghe promises that he will change her (his) mind. He will be a present husband and make her (him) feel comfortable. Which makes Shen Yuan's escape plans go to fuckin hell. Bye bye, xianxia male body! Hello, another weeks of back pain from huge boobs!

And Binghe delivers on his promise, unfortunately. What's it costing you to be a normal man and forget your promises every day, damn protagonist!!

Shen Yuan wakes up with breakfast from Binghe, continues his day with walks with Binghe, ends his afternoon with dinner with Binghe, and dodges the papapa like a champ. Binghe is patient, considerate. Their conversations are charming, but Shen Yuan can see him... Sad. There is an old braid in his hair and deep dark circles under his eyes. Binghe looks exhausted, wasted, and when he thinks Shen Yuan isn't looking, his face shows so much sorrow that Shen Yuan wants to comfort him.

There's not much he can say. Get some random points - holding Binghe's hand at the right moment, discussing an important point about a creature and a hunt, giving recommendations how to best deal with eastern bear demons... Binghe seems to appreciate his company beyond the call of duty, which makes Shen Yuan a little proud. He's spending time with his favorite fictional boy without screwing up.

Then his body gets sick.

Xianxia World! Cultivation! Magic! Nothing? Shen Yuan wakes up with his head spinning like he's just stepped off a roller coaster, vomiting pathetically into an empty vase. The nausea is not getting better. His headache is horrible.

The System offers him to buy a skip plot; it comes out the same points that Shen Yuan has and he has tried hard not to spend them, a ridiculously large amount of points just to avoid a stomach infection. It's hard to complete side quests with the protagonist attached to his hip! Shen Yuan drops the skip plot.

The System insists. If he doesn't skip the plot now, he won't be able to do so in the future. Shen Yuan ignores it again. It's a silly illness. Nothing a little rest won't help.

... a little rest won't make it better.

Shen Yuan is thankful that Luo Binghe is not in the palace on his mission in the east, because he can be fully pathetic. He barely eats, faints from hunger, but as soon as he puts something in his mouth his stomach expels it. Damn demented body, do you want to eat only Binghe's food so much!? Spoiled body.

Shen Yuan sleeps a lot, sobs a lot in pain, growls (his body can growl. It's interesting) to the servants who come to clean, he takes cool showers that relieve his headache, and continues to expel every crumb.

He thinks he was even poisoned. He doesn't let the harem doctors get close. Mostly because he doesn't know them, but also because he remembers a subplot about a doctor who poisoned Binghe's wives to get revenge because Binghe had refused to take his daughter (for reasons that were entirely valid for Shen Yuan: she was a girl of barely twelve years old) in marriage and she had run away from home to avoid the humiliation. The plot ended with the girl hiding in the doctor's basement, who had made everything up, Binghe making a gore chapter out of it to remember the old days, and adopting the little girl to be raised among his many children in the harem... A good subplot for Shen Yuan, without unnecessary papapa even if it was for two chapters and followed by a threesome with massive busty demons.

Shen Yuan doesn't want to take any chances to unlock some gore subplot. So he just endures his nausea and pain until it fades about two weeks later. Suddenly it's bearable. He can snack on fruit and some roasted seeds. Some flavors are still intolerable to him... some smells too. He feels nauseous at the strongest, or even mildest, smells, but if they are too sweet he must run away. And textures on his skin. And tunics squeezing him. And his fucking huge tits hurt. They hurt like, like they're going to burst or break his cleavage. He even believes that from one day to the next they look bigger if that is possible. Wearing clothes is annoying. Having a body is annoying. Is this some fucking PMS that Shen Yuan didn't want to live with?

Wasn't it a ferocious body of a half-demon with a high cultivation level?? Why is he having PMS? He hasn't... bled since he came into this world!

...

. . .

He hasn't bled since he came to that world. The wedding (papapa of the original goods with The Heavenly Pillar) was almost three months ago. Shen Yuan has been occupying that body for almost two months.

...

. . .

That's not fucking happening.

"System, what the hell!?"

[ User was given the opportunity to buy a skip plot! User rejected it!!! (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠) Congratulations on making it through the first trimester in a healthy way!!! ]

Fucking shit.

[waitineedaname]

ENCYCLOPEDIA -- In Proud Immortal Demon Way, Luo Binghe emerges from the Endless Abyss a fully realized heavenly demon. This marks the beginning of his quest for revenge against those who wronged him, along with bedding every woman he comes across.

HALF LIGHT -- He comes out hungry for blood. Your blood.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Easy: Success] -- You remember cheering when you read his revenge against Shen Qingqiu. In fact, you remember commenting that he should've gone further when punishing the scum villain. Little did you know that someday you'd be the scum villain in question.

HALF LIGHT -- You have five years before Luo Binghe decides to turn you into a human stick. Better start running.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY -- I can take him.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT -- In a fight, right?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY -- ...

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT -- In a fight, right?

AUTHORITY [Formidable: Failure] -- You absolutely cannot take him, in a fight or otherwise. He's the stallion protagonist, what are you talking about? You're just his poser shizun. You don't stand a chance.

HALF LIGHT -- You pushed your beloved, sticky little white lotus disciple into the Endless Abyss, and there's no coming back from it. You need to start planning now. When he comes back, what will you do?

[Conceptualization: Impossible] Understand the changes you've already made to the story.

[Rhetoric: Challenging] Explain why you did what you did.

[Physical Instrument: Godly] I can take him.

[Electrochemistry: Formidable] I can take him.

[Drama: Challenging] Fake your death.

DRAMA [Challenging: Failure] -- He can't kill you if you're already dead, right? Of course, faking your death is too cliche, and there are too many ways it could go wrong. If you faked your death normally and ran off, there's always the chance he could find you again.

DRAMA -- There's only one option. You're going to have to kill yourself for real.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Easy: Success] -- You know, there's a mushroom that might help with this...

[mymoshangthoughts]

oki i know we've all just chosen to accept that beatings are a part of demon mating culture and like, i dont think thats 100% wrong, but also thinking about linguang-jun's reaction to seeing shang qinghua beaten at the ascension incident, im kinda hesitant to fall into it 100%

oki my biggest defense for it being a demon-culture thing is that sha hualing didn't show any disagreement when mobei jun suggested "three beatings a day" in that particularly hilarious conversation, but that's honestly pretty thin. we know that she loves binghe and she never makes any attempt to fight him or to have him fight her. if anything, she strives to avoid it

there's also the possibility that the 'beating' that linguang-jun witnessed the conclusion of was a particularly unromantic one via demon standards. he saw shang qinghua and said "oh you were clearly displeased with him" so mayyybbee there's something to the pattern of bruises that speaks to intent but again, that's pretty thin

so might i suggest, from my humble little insane brain, that rather than beatings being a demon-culture thing, mobei jun is just fucking weird

oki bear with me oki but i rlly like this idea a lot LOL

im not even saying that mobei jun is a sadist (altho def not opposed to that), im saying that my socially awkward icy demon lord just straight up has no good concept of how to get the attention of his intended and this is sincerely his best effort. there's no research, no demon custom, no human custom, it's just mobei jun desperately screaming "look at meeeeeee pleaaassseeee" in his own extremely unique way that fucking no one understands

i would defend that this is likely due to his fucked up childhood and trust issues. like maybe linguang-jun isolated him to such an extent that mobei-jun winds up relatively divorced from his own culture for courting and doesnt even fucking know the first thing about it. maybe he has some twisted history of "look the only time i was shown affection was during martial training, which were basically beatings, so beatings = affection, yeah?" or maybe he's just so stupid and desperate that he has no fucking idea and no real plan, he's just trying to get shang qinghua's attention by any means necessary

i sort of like a mixture of all of the above. like linguang jun was the only person who showed him more typical signs of affection, and that was the prelude to betrayal. so mobei jun doesnt trust those types of affectionate gestures. but when he received martial training, either from his uncle or in one of the handful of times he'd seen his father, it was at least useful. like he can remember getting beaten and know there was an honesty to it. beating him made him stronger, being strong helped him to survive, it was the truest affection he's received in his life. and look, mobei jun hasn't exactly put all of that together all of that in as many words, but the effect is long lasting. and not all of shang qinghua's beatings were out of affection either. ultimately, there's this suspicious as fuck cultivator who's groveling at his feet and mobei-jun isnt exactly keen on humanity to begin with. and with shang qinghua prone to more typical shows of affection, the way his uncle was before the Betrayal? he's not going to be tricked again! he'll beat the human into submission to prove that he's strong and he's not a small defenseless child anymore who can be so ruthlessly abandoned! but then he really does start to develop feelings for shang qinghua and really does want his attention and qinghua simply wont look at him. sure, he'll throw out a million words of groveling and acting pathetic, but what does any of that even fucking mean?! does qinghua only see him as a king? does qinghua even see him as that or is he waiting for a chance to betray him? how can he get shang qinghua's attention? how can he keep him? and so he thinks about his only fond memories of 'affection' and starts the habit of beating qinghua lightly three times a day. it's gotta work. it totally has to work. it MUST be working, bc qinghua just told the demon emperor that acting pathetic is a way of showing affection!!! SO CLEARLY QINGHUA MUST LOOK AT HIM NOW RIGHT?!!? but their relationship just doesnt seem to be progressing and after the qinghua saves him from falling, mobei jun now has a brand new "height of being show affection" memory to cling to but its... very much the opposite of his memories of being beaten. and a whole lot better too. being caught by shang qinghua and protected in that way has his heart thudding every time he remembers it and suddenly beating qinghua has lost its appeal. how can he do something for qinghua that matches that feeling??? because now it feels poultry to offer qinghua mere beatings when those barely even seem enjoyable for qinghua anyway??? and he doesnt particularly enjoy qinghua acting pathetic for him either, even if he knows theres affection behind the gesture, and qinghua always acts extra pathetic during beatings so thats another reason to lay off. so mobei jun is in the middle of contemplating this shit and stops beating qinghua so much when suddenly its time for his ascension ceremony and he drags qinghua there with him and now qinghua is talking about leaving him and mobei jun's heart just about shatters. is it because he laid off on the beatings? is it because qinghua was always planning to betray him, the way he always feared? is it because mobei jun misread this whole thing? in front of his dead fathers door, a man who never gave much of a fuck about him, while anticipating the arrival of his horrible uncle, vulnerable and reminded of every reason he's never trusted traditional shows of intimacy and so he tells qinghua to fuck off, beats him without any affectionate intentions, and greets his uncle in heartbroken misery. but then qinghua COMES BACK WHEN HE NEEDS HIM and he apparently always hated the beatings which is a blow but also now QINGHUA IS LEAVING HIM AGAIN AND THIS IS HELL, MOBEI IS IN HELL RN.

and not to mention, he witnessed linguang-jun beating shang qinghua and suddenly, he doesnt even know why he ever thought beatings were all that affectionate either because this is horrible and he hates it and mobei jun is Not Equipped To Cope With Guilt, it's not something he's been trained in and he is not coping with ANY of this well tbh, not his uncle, not his heartbreak, and he just wants the familiarity of shang qinghua's normal pathetic behavior. something normal. something to ground him. but shang qinghua is not normal right now and he's still planning to LEAVE and mobei jun is all panic, no thoughts. and now shang qinghua is saying shit like "you only beat me cuz i was easy-going and weak" and ow? that hurts? and then shang qinghua is saying he was only ever indulging mobei jun and OW? THAT HURTS?! and mobei jun is prideful and in pain and upset so he's relying on familiar emotions. being angry. being prideful. being haughty. pretending he has any control over this situation. unsure how to act outside of their normal dynamic. unsure how to respond to this very different side of qinghua. but no matter what he says, qinghua is leaving. qinghua pinches his cheeks and insults him and calls him spoiled even when he's seen directly how his own uncle treats him and calls himself his father in front of the room where his father lies dead and yeah, it hurts when qinghua pinches his cheeks. not just the physical pain, but the knowledge that qinghua wants to hurt him. that hurts most of all and it's pathetic but mobei jun's head is swimming with the knowledge that maybe violence was never a good idea between them but what else can he do in this situation? he's completely out of his depth! so he threatens qinghua not to leave and he still LEAVES

so now he's trying to find qinghua and the entire time his mind is a complete mess of emotions because was he wrong all this time and qinghua cannot be gone, thats unacceptable, and what can he offer to make qinghua stay? how can he possibly not lose this person?? and the best he can think of is to let qinghua hurt him in return, let him get his licks in, and maybe that will help

but shang qinghua doesnt hit him when offered and qinghua seems a bit scared of him and for the first time ever that seems kinda fucking awful and mobei jun is out of his depth, but the warmth he feels when shang qinghua wont hit him is really... something. and maybe theres a lot more shows of affection he should be learning, like the feeling when someone could hit you but chooses not to. and look, he's starting from abysmal standards. and yeah, when shang qinghua suggests he cook for him that sounds weird and demeaning and mobei jun instinctively wants to turn it down

but when he thinks about how it might be a way to show affection that they both appreciate, he's really determined to see it through

anyway thats a verrrryyyyy long over-explanation as to why i dont think the beatings are demon culture, i think mobei jun is just a terminally awkward traumatized weirdo who doesnt know how to communicate

[nyoomerr]

Only if you want but phantom thief! Binghe x rich boy Shen Yuan, heir to a famous jeweler/jewerly store business.

It can be Bingge or Binghe, whatever you want! Love your work!

dont mind me using this as a sort-of warm up for writing a much bigger bingge pov binggeyuan thing ehehe 😌 ty for sending this prompt in!

---

Luo Binghe does not get caught. It’s in his title, even - a phantom thief, completely untouchable. 

Well, perhaps not completely untouchable. After all, many times the most efficient way to get his hands on a particularly valuable set of jewelry is to let the lady wearing it put her hands on him. Flirtations and bold fondling in a dark corner of a party, hands on the woman’s face and shoulders and the diamond necklace around her neck -

Normal things for someone in Luo Binghe’s line of work, really, when that someone looks the way Luo Binghe does. Charm is as indispensable a tool as a lockpick. 

It’s only a tool that Luo Binghe dares to use when he knows it will be well received, though. Unwelcome advances are more likely to get a mark to grow more defensive on all lines, not just towards sexual advances, and then the whole job gets more difficult. Still not impossible - not for Luo Binghe - but Luo Binghe has a messy habit of turning theft into murder when he’s faced with rejection. 

It isn’t his fault. The people who turn Luo Binghe away - who look at him with cold disinterest and disgusted sneers plastered across their ugly, painted faces - they deserve to die. Luo Binghe is only doing the world a service.

Still, the cleanup becomes much more difficult when Luo Binghe’s mouth is stained with blood rather than smeared lipstick, so he learns to assess his marks carefully. Those that would think themselves clever and better than Luo Binghe get stolen from in the traditional sense, and they never see Luo Binghe during the process.

Shen Yuan is one such mark. Oh, Luo Binghe could break him in, probably - he watches from a distance as Shen Yuan’s eyes linger on the strong forearms of the barista who hands him his coffee, and he knows without testing that Luo Binghe could fluster such a small thing like Shen Yuan without much effort. 

To actually touch Shen Yuan, however, would be far more difficult. Luo Binghe knows this much from even the most basic of background searches: Shen Yuan takes pretty girls to banquets despite never touching them, and the way he dresses… yes, Shen Yuan certainly would like to think of himself as a straight man, the poor thing. Not the sort of nut Luo Binghe cares to crack when it’s for business rather than pleasure.

Besides, most of Shen Yuan’s valuables are kept in his family’s home. The pretty things Luo Binghe could nick off Shen Yuan’s person are limited and hardly the most enticing of Shen Yuan’s things, so there’s no need to push it.

Shen Yuan will simply be the sort of mark that never sees Luo Binghe, never gets close enough to touch.

That’s the sort of mark Shen Yuan is supposed to be.

“Um,” Shen Yuan says, standing awkwardly in the doorway of the very high security office that Luo Binghe has just broken into. “Can I, um. Help you…?”

Luo Binghe stares at him. He’s just finished picking the lock on one of the glass cabinets in the office, and he knows that from Shen Yuan’s perspective he must have a very clear view of the ruby earrings that Luo Binghe had plucked from the case.

He doesn’t stare long. Hesitating only ever gets someone caught, and Luo Binghe does not get caught.

The office has no windows, so Luo Binghe will have to exit through the door that Shen Yuan is standing in. He turns to face Shen Yuan fully - he empty hand neatly plucking a few more pieces from the cabinet and tucking them in his pockets as he moves - and starts sauntering over to Shen Yuan.

Shen Yuan was not meant to be one of the marks he seduced, but plans can change. He’ll just need to fluster Shen Yuan long enough to make it past him to one of the several exit plans Luo Binghe had planned. 

That should be enough - Shen Yuan is only wearing an oversized shirt and boxers, clearly having gotten up from bed without dressing properly, and he doesn’t appear to be carrying anything in his hands. All that together means he’s likely not carrying his phone, and Luo Binghe knows the security schedule well enough to know that Shen Yuan yelling wouldn’t have anyone arriving quick enough to stop him. 

Shen Yuan takes half a step back as Luo Binghe approaches, but he doesn’t leave the doorway. He must have some idea that he’s the only obstacle in Luo Binghe’s way, then. Luo Binghe smiles at him, only half faking the predatory look of it. 

“Yuan-er,” Luo Binghe croons, and Shen Yuan shuffles back another half foot, his ears turning pink where they stick out from some truly terrible bed head.

Spoiled, Luo Binghe thinks in the privacy of his own mind, poisonous and bitter. A child who’s always been allowed laziness.

“Yuan-er, you’ve really got to put better locks on your things,” Luo Binghe says as he approaches. “Isn’t this your family’s precious legacy? That sort of thing should be protected…”

Shen Yuan’s brows furrow. Luo Binghe can very clearly read the baffled what the fuck that silently twists his lips, but Luo Binghe doesn’t react. 

That’s it, little rabbit - just stand there, and let yourself be confused and taken aback by the thief in front of you, and I’ll escape before you have to worry your spoiled little head about it.

Luo Binghe is only a few paces away, now. He’ll brush past Shen Yuan’s right side to avoid getting caught on the arm he has resting on the doorway, and -

“Say please,” Shen Yuan says, glaring up at Luo Binghe as he crosses his arms.

Luo Binghe falters. “What was that, Yuan-er?”

“You’re clearly capable of sweet talk, so you should start with asking nicely before you take our shit,” Shen Yuan scoffs. 

Luo Binghe stops in front of Shen Yuan, close enough that Shen Yuan has to tilt his head up to maintain eye contact with him. 

He should just brush past, really. Shen Yuan is small, and Luo Binghe already knows he doesn’t have a way to raise alarm in an effective way.

Luo Binghe does not brush past.

He kind of wants to slit Shen Yuan’s throat for thinking he has any right to tell Luo Binghe to say please, sitting comfortably in the lap of luxury like he is. 

“I’m impressed,” Luo Binghe says, his smile so sharp it may as well just be a baring of his teeth. “Yuan-er knows so many big words for a little princling of such an important business. Did you learn them from listening to clients speak to your daddy?”

Shen Yuan’s eye twitches. “Ah,” he says. “You’re an asshole on top of being impolite, then.”

Luo Binghe’s fingers twitch towards the switchblade in his pocket. He wouldn’t be able to clean up a body before security loops back around to this wing of the house, and Luo Binghe has already left a mess from being interrupted in the middle of his heist. He hasn’t left any fingerprints, but he can’t be sure about hair -

Shen Yuan reaches up and flicks Luo Binghe’s forehead. Luo Binghe goes dead still. That’s it, then. He’s going to kill Shen Yuan, this rich little brat -

“Oi, you’re going to ruin your pretty face with a mean expression like that,” Shen Yuan complains. “Just get out of here if you aren’t going to listen nicely - I already called security before coming over here to tell you off myself.”

Luo Binghe pulls out the switchblade, snarling down at Shen Yuan. “Oh, Yuan-er, I think there’s something much better I could ruin.”

Shen Yuan shifts uncomfortably at the sight of the blade, some of his irritation replaced with the faintest glimmer of fear. Luo Binghe pushes closer, wanting to see more - wanting to see Shen Yuan’s delicate face contorted with the sort of despair that a little lordling like him would never have known before, wanting to see him cry - 

There’s footsteps from down the hall. Shen Yuan had not been bluffing; he really had called someone, then. Luo Binghe cannot guarantee he’ll be able to kill Shen Yuan quickly enough that Shen Yuan is unable to give a description of his murderer to the help before he dies.

Hesitating gets people caught. Luo Binghe does not get caught, so he brushes past Shen Yuan harshly without another moment’s pause, even though what he wants to do is something far more violent and time consuming. 

Luo Binghe hasn’t failed a heist like this since he was a damn child, and this stupid little twink dares to just stand there and watch Luo Binghe run down the hallway to the nearest window instead of lay bleeding on the ground like he should be doing, Luo Binghe will come back to kill him -

“At least say thanks!” Shen Yuan calls out as Luo Binghe approaches the window. “Even if you can’t ask nicely to begin with, you should at least say thanks, ah!”

Luo Binghe ignores him. He’s busy pulling his jacket off to wrap around his arms, preparing to jump through the window’s glass in such a way that he can avoid getting cut and leaving his own blood at the scene of the crime.

“Aiya, what an asshole…” Shen Yuan is grumbling behind him. “You know, you may regret not bothering to pay me a bit more attention.”

Oh, Luo Binghe is paying attention. He’s very vividly imagining what Shen Yuan’s neck would feel between his fingers, right now, even as he backs up several steps to get a running start at the window. 

The office had been on the second story, so Luo Binghe has to roll to mitigate the force of the fall. He stands quickly, does a perfunctory check of his pockets to ensure nothing fell when he hit the ground, and -

He’s missing the jewelry he nicked. He has the ruby earrings, but the others he’d stolen as he was leaving are gone. Luo Binghe searches the ground around where he’d fallen frantically; he has to move now, but he can’t leave those behind either. After all that this heist has brought, Luo Binghe can’t allow it to not even be profitable. 

Above him, Shen Yuan clears his throat from the broken window. Luo Binghe whips his head up to look at him.

In one hand, Shen Yuan is holding the missing jewelry.

“I told you,” Shen Yuan says. “Jeez, as if I’m that useless.”

Luo Binghe stares up at him. No one has ever dared to steal back from Luo Binghe.

“...Aren’t you going to leave? Security really will be here soon.” Shen Yuan calls down at him. Then he pauses, and even in the darkness Luo Binghe can tell his ears have gone pink again. “...I let you keep the rubies. They, uh. Would probably go well. With you. And your eyes. And uh. Anyway, say thanks!”

“...Thanks?” Luo Binghe says, baffled and furious and still sort of itching to take his switchblade out and throw it pointy-side first at Shen Yuan’s pretty face.

“You’re welcome, asshole!” Shen Yuan calls back, clearly pleased. 

Luo Binghe stares for a moment longer, then turns and runs. He will not get caught, even on nights that have gone as stupendously terrible as this one has. So long as he doesn’t get caught, there’s always next time. 

So long as he doesn’t get caught, Luo Binghe can come back here, to the office of jewels he failed to get - to Shen Yuan. 

Next time, Luo Binghe won’t fail.

[scribblestatic]

Awww shit, it's popping off fr. More amputee!SY for the spooky month.

Between writing Tumblr stuff and my fics on my mature AO3, my bag's heckin full lmao. But I'm enjoying writing this, so I'll keep doing it hehehehe

Ah, also, I refer to Amitabha Buddha as such instead of his Mandarin Chinese name, Amituofo. So, any ascetic practitioners will be saying "Amitabha" for their greetings and such. Just a head's up.

Prev: Part 5

---

He absolutely planned this. Of course he did.

Never underestimate Binghe.

Shen Yuan sent a withering stare over to the demon emperor, but he seemed to ignore it this time. Though, the blood mites warmed in a spot around his shoulders, the exact spots he sometimes holds and rubs him placatingly. So, the man knew he was giving him the "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" look and asking him to roll with the situation for now.

Ach, fine, fine. Gods forbid he have some peace.

"The first accusation this lord brought against Shen Qingqiu was that he abused me on Qing Jing Peak. Back then, Shen Qingqiu made no plea, and he was found guilty. How do you plea now, my love?"

...Not sure where you're going with this, but as he promised, Shen Yuan would go with the flow.

"Guilty," he answered plainly, with the crowd starting to murmur at his admittance.

"So he says. And yet, the case at the time was missing important context that I, at the time, was too blinded by my own hatred to pursue."

"And what would that be?" Yue Qingyuan asked, his voice low and hands clenched.

"One, that many of the punishments bestowed upon me were quite common for Cang Qiong Sect."

Immediately, many demons expressed outrage, griping about how they were called cruel for their disciplinary actions when the cultivators were no different. Some of the cultivators in attendance, sensing blood in the water, also began yelling, denying that their sect would ever do something like that.

Some, of course, still sided with Cang Qiong. And amongst the demons, a few were quiet, perhaps thinking that what Binghe suffered through hadn't been that serious.

Yue Qingyuan pressed his lips tightly together, not saying anything in response. The Zui Xian Peak lord, seeing this, did not have the same restraint.

"Surely you jest! Cang Qiong Sect does not abuse our disciples!"

Luo Binghe smiled, happy for the man to have taken the bait.

"Is that so? Then, this lord presumes whipping was not practiced on any peak other than Qing Jing?"

"Not to the extent you mentioned, no."

"Was kneeling in the sun not practiced on any other peak than Qing Jing?"

"...Not to the extent you described."

"Were no disciples ever ostracized by their peers on any other peak than Qing Jing?"

"Of course, some disciples find it difficult to fit in, but we would not go out of our way to worsen it!"

"So, Peak Lord He, you've never dumped out a disciples wine?"

"Not on their head! Yes, Cang Qiong Sect does discipline our disciples, but the punishments you mentioned at the trial went too far. We could not reasonably accept what he'd done, and so, he was ousted at the trial. Why do you bring up our methods now?"

"Simply because, if you knew that what Shen Qingqiu was doing was inappropriate, why did no one take any steps to stop him?"

At this, Qi Qingqi spoke up.

"The peak lords do not interfere with each other's disciplinary decisions. How would a parent feel if someone interfered with the discipline of their child? This lord, for one, would not take it kindly for these men to tell me how to care for my girls. And I'm sure you would hate for someone to tell you how to treat your wives, since you've not had any children yourself."

"Ah, but is Cang Qiong Sect not familial? This lord recalls that you all have generational names and function like a family unit. In such a case, would an aunt not beseech that her brother treat her nephew lightly?"

"Even families have rules amongst each other. And if that aunt is her brother's younger sister, why would she have any real say in his childrearing?"

"What then of the eldest brother?"

At this, her lips shut, a grimace just slightly flinching on her face.

The eyes of the crowd swiftly settled on Yue Qingyuan.

Ah...yeah. Shen Yuan was sure of it now.

Luo Binghe certainly did not like Yue Qingyuan.

In fact, that was an angle he'd considered when reading the book, as much as he loathed to admit there was anything wrong with the man. As the sect leader, he had the authority to set Shen Qingqiu straight, but he did not. He did nothing.

Just like he did nothing to come back for hi—Shen Jiu.

How many times did Luo Binghe look to him for help? Clearly, the book didn't explain everything, as it didn't explain Shen Jiu's past.

So, perhaps there were instances, where Binghe gave him a look. The sort that a child does when they need an adult to help them. Perhaps he had outright asked him for it, asked him to confirm if he deserved what was happening to him. And him, being a child, perhaps didn't know.

But Yue Qingyuan would've known. And he did know, judging by his silence.

He knew what Shen Qingqiu was doing was wrong, but he allowed it. And each time he refused to do anything, he was stabbing Binghe in the back.

...The trap with those thousand arrows now looked quite different to Shen Yuan.

He'd thought it was the typical overkill revenge plot from Luo Binghe the character. But, considering the circumstances, perhaps it was more symbolic than he'd thought.

Yue Qingyuan finally opened his mouth.

"This lord was in the wrong."

Well no shit, Sherlock!

"...So you say," Luo Binghe said quietly. "Is there any reason you did not govern your younger sect sibling and guide him to more reasonable disciplinary tactics?"

"...This lord has no excuse."

"Surely you don't. Though, an explanation would suffice."

None left his mouth. Instead...

"I admit that I was complicit in Shen Qingqiu's poor treatment of you."

"Tch."

When the crowd looked toward Shen Yuan, he stared away, his fan concealing the scowl on his face. His eye, though, held all the emotion they needed to see.

Typical. Irritating.

With the mood sufficiently cooled, Qi Qingqi attempted to speak again.

"If you wish to bestow punishment upon Sect Leader Yue, this lord asks that you allow the judgement to be fielded with his peers. Considering the damage you've caused to Shen Qingqiu's body, I am distrusting of your ability to discipline others reasonably."

Despite the jab at him, Luo Binghe smiled.

"Indeed, I can agree that my handling of Shen Qingqiu's treatment leaves much to be desired. After all, in addition to him not receiving guidance, this lord can no longer say he was abusing me whilst in his right mind."

At this, the crowd began to murmur again, confusion evident in their expressions. The Ku Xing Peak lord interrupted their musings, his voice forcefully calmed.

"Amitabha. To what are you referring? Do you mean to say Shen Qingqiu was insane before but that he is not now?"

"Frankly, yes. Two, Shen Qingqiu was mentally unfit to function as a peak lord prior to his current state, and Cang Qiong Sect should have easily noticed this to be the case. He was, in a specific capacity, incapable of differentiating right from wrong. As such, this lord unjustly punished Shen Qingqiu for the wrongdoing of his whole sect."

Even Shen Yuan wasn't sure about him following such a jump in logic. Hey, Binghe, what are you going for with this?!

"Beloved."

"Hmm?" he responded reflexively.

Shen Yuan looked up to see Binghe smiling at him kindly.

"Could you remind me of the definition of insanity?"

"Ah. Ahem. Insanity is mental illness of a severe nature, to the point one cannot distinguish fiction from reality, cannot conduct their affairs due to psychosis, or display...rather, is subject to uncontrollable and impulsive behavior... Ah, it's also known, in some aspects, as lunacy."

A few wolf demons immediately understood, murmuring amongst each other.

"You mention psychosis. And that is?"

"A loss of touch with reality. A symptom instead of a diagnosis itself. Psychosis can include hallucinations, delusions, disorganized speech, and abnormal movements."

"Thank you, my love."

Shen Yuan huffed and fanned himself, looking away as he turned to address the others.

"Peak Lord Mu, as a physician, are you aware of these mental maladies?"

Mu Qingfang, who had been silent throughout, stepped forward.

"This lord is a medical physician, not a psychiatrist. Unfortunately, mental maladies are beyond my scope of expertise."

"Ah, but you know the definition of some of the words, this lord presumes."

"...You would be correct."

"Then, if you would please define the ones you believe would be relevant for the others to know."

He remained quiet for a moment, but with a sigh, he began to speak.

"Hallucinations occur when you perceive something that doesn't exist, like a shadow, an object, or a person. Delusions are false beliefs held by individuals or groups that are fanciful, self-deceptive, demonstrably false, patently untrue, or impossible. Even so, the person or people with said delusions will be resistant to evidence that their belief is incorrect.

"Disorganized speech refers to interruptions in speaking patterns that makes it difficult for others to understand them. For example, incoherent babbling is a form of disorganized speech. And abnormal movements can range from seizures to motionlessness."

"Thanking Peak Lord Mu for your educational evaluation. Then, from your professional opinion, would you say that a qi deviation can be a cause of psychosis?"

"It is possible. Yes. Qi deviations have similar results to the psychosis you mention."

"And it can result in death, yes. Have you noticed personality changes as a result of a qi deviation in your field?

"Yes."

"Then, from your professional opinion, could persistent qi deviations alter someone's personality? If not forever, at least for a period of time?"

Mu Qingfang paused. Luo Binghe tilted his head in quiet, eerie curiosity.

"Hmm?"

"...It...may be possible."

"I would think so. After all, is it true, from your profession as a physician, that qi deviations can have permanent ramifications on someone's physical wellbeing, such as a loss in core stability?"

"...Yes."

"I see! However, with treatment, can these qi deviations be reduced, alleviated, or their symptoms treated?"

"...They can be, depending on the situation."

"Indeed, indeed. Then." Luo Binghe's jovial tone dropped. "Did Shen Qingqiu ever receive long-term, thorough treatment for the results of his constant qi deviations?"

Ah.

Even Shen Yuan paused.

"A normal cultivator may qi deviate once or twice, if that many times. Some never deviate throughout their entire journey. But Shen Qingqiu deviated many, many times. Enough that Qing Jing Peak used to have protocol for functioning when he was indisposed.

"Had this happened to any other peak lord or disciple, would you, as a sect, as a family, not done everything in your power to help and heal them? Would you not have done anything you could to stop them from suffering? What made Shen Qingqiu so different? ...Ah. Sect Leader Yue."

He did not look as firm and staunch as he had before. Instead, there was something a tad haunted about him. He kept shooting that pleading look toward Shen Yuan.

The latter had begun to hate it immensely.

Why look at him like that? What do you want?

Will you do anything beyond looking like that?

"When was Shen Qingqiu accepted into Cang Qiong Sect?"

His gaze flickered, then he turned back to Luo Binghe.

"...When he was brought to the mountain, the Peak Lord of Qing Jing decided to accept him."

"Hmmh. Beloved."

"Mm?"

"Tell me again how you met with Yue Qingyuan."

"...Right." He had to think a bit, remember to say it as though it was his memory rather than a dream he had. If... They were still just dreams. Right? "There was an Immortal Alliance Conference. This one was...under the tutelage of Wu Yanzi. He brought us there to...kill disciples and take their hearts for some sort of elixir. When he targeted Yue Qingyuan, I...killed him."

"I see, thank you. Then, to more accurately state how Shen Qingqiu was accepted into Cang Qiong Sect, it was after he rescued their then top disciple in the entire sect from being murdered by his then shifu. Ah, but Wu Yanzi...I didn't know anything of him, but I recall learning that he was reviled in the cultivation community for being a criminal. Murder, arson, robbery. He was a human practitioner of demonic cultivation.

"Therefore, Shen Qingqiu, prior to his acceptance in discipleship and rising to his position of Qing Jing Peak Lord, was also a human practitioner of demonic cultivation, correct? After all, that's all he'd really come to know. That was all someone like Wu Yanzi would teach him. So then, I wonder how he was treated, as a demonic cultivator among the many little ladies and lords of Cang Qiong Sect."

Qi Qingqi cut in again.

"You think he was mistreated? That's just conjecture! You have no evidence of any mistreatment you can try to claim he faced!"

"And I have no intent on interrogating my future empress on it either. But this lord can say, demonstratively, that the previous Qing Jing Peak Lord taught Shen Qingqiu righteous cultivation. In teaching him your cultivation practices, they were either purposefully or unknowingly negligent, causing his qi to clash with the core he'd formed during his years as a demonic cultivator.

"Neither they nor anyone of their generation did anything substantial to help him adjust to their teachings and practices despite him trying to follow the righteous path. Without any known treatment given to him, Shen Qingqiu struggled and formed a core with both spiritual and demonic qi in a human body. Such a situation would prime anyone for a lifetime of constant, rampant qi deviations, wouldn't it?"

Binghe's eyes narrowed at them.

"Then, instead of growing beyond what their shifu taught them, the Qing generation of Cang Ciong Sect, either knowingly or ignorantly, neglected to help him change, whether to purge the demonic qi or to help him manage both flowing through his forcefully altered meridians.

"And, during the time of my trial against him, Shen Qingqiu, took on the blame for all wrongdoings brought against him, either with or without the context that, for a good portion of the time he functioned as Qing Jing Peak Lord, he was likely suffering the symptoms of severe qi deviations that may very well have killed him at any point, twisting his mind and perpetuating actions beyond what he potentially would have ever done.

"And instead of coming to his defense with any of these details, Cang Qiong Sect...no, Sect Leader Yue, who we can quite clearly prove knew that all this happened, did absolutely nothing to help him."

Luo Binghe laughed.

"Indeed, what a loving, close-knit family."

...Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

...Shen Yuan understood.

He understood it now.

Why Shen Jiu became intolerant of Yue Qingyuan.

Why he'd so firmly overlapped Luo Binghe and Qiu Jianluo.

Why he'd just as firmly overlapped Ning Yingying and Qiu Haitang.

Why he was an acerbic piece of shit spiraling further out of whack the longer he lived.

...One of the two things he'd been guilty of.

Of abusing Luo Binghe. And he hadn't even been mentally sound enough to teach, much less run a peak.

And the other thing he'd been guilty of, killing all the men and destroying the Qiu House...that had been the trigger to his future psychotic symptoms. He hadn't killed just the men for no reason.

He knew why now, having dreamt it. Experienced it.

Felt the pain in his broken legs. Heard Yue Qi call to him from the other side of the door. Waited.

Waited.

Waited.

And could wait no longer, his mind shattering as he burned everything he could to the ground.

...It hurt.

It hurt to realize the Qiu House had not been the only group to wrong him. That Wu Yanzi and Qiu Jianluo hadn't been the only men to abuse him. That the Cang Qiong he'd loved had let him hurt and hurt him more.

And all he could feel, aside from the pain, was...

...the same resignation he felt the first time he was judged.

He was guilty. He felt guilty. But he was not the only one to blame.

----

"We plead not guilty to this charge for reason of insanity."

— Luo Binghe, defense attorney and prosecutor, apparently.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6: here Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11+: links on Part 10

AO3

[the-tyler-as-in-skyler]

posting more svsss fanart this time half finished doodles of a lil au that’s been cooking in my brain for a few weeks

fox shen yuan aus have my heart and soul anyways he gains more tails the higher his cultivation is :33

plot points for this below the cut (also apologies for the terrible image quality she’s been through a lot (my google drive))

- shen yuan is a fox demon, he gets popped into a very young fox demon similar to how airplane gets dropped into baby shang qinghua (airplane is sqh in this au but that’s not plot relevant yet)

- little fox shen yuan, still getting the hang of his powers and creating a human form, runs into shen jiu in the woods, realizes this “random” teenager looks a lot like he did in real life, and unconsciously shifts to look like him

- shen yuan and shen jiu become kind of friends (in that shen jiu feels like he needs to protect shen yuan because he thinks he’s naive and also thinks it’s funny when he’s a bitch and shen yuan also thinks that shen jiu is funny when he’s a bitch and that he should probably keep this kid from dying or screwing himself up with his clearly demonic cultivation too bad)

- shen yuan eventually figures out how to look fully human (prior to him and sj going to cang qiong mountain)

- sy and sj become disciples on qing jing together! how does shen yuan cultivate? well sj is the only one who knows he’s a demon but they manage to swipe a fox demon cultivation manual from qing jing peak’s library for him

- when the qing generation ascends shen yuan leaves cang qiong to go be a wandering cultivator and write a bestiary

(at this point you may be asking, where is zhuzhi-lang? he’s in the doodles, why hasn’t he shown up yet? fear not, he is coming)

- while traveling shen yuan decide that the mortal realm is too boring and there are far too many papapa plants there so he travels to the demon realm to record more beasts

- at this point tianlang-jun is still the emperor of the demon realm, and, through shenanigans probably, shen yuan manages to save zhuhai-lang from a rather dangerous plant that mimics normal demonic plants and gets introduced to the emperor

- it does not take long for shen yuan to realize that this is luo binghe’s father and decide, hey, maybe he can help this guy and hopefully get both of luo binghe’s parents to survive so he can have a kind of normal life without the trauma (he is still masquerading as a human at this point and there’s quite a bit of controversy about the demonic emperor taking advice from a human cultivator, linguang-jun later mocks mobei-jun for ‘following in the late emperor’s footsteps’ when he takes shang qinghua as his primary advisor)

- this plan does not work, shen yuan is exposed to the cultivation world as a demon and a traitor and gets his ass tossed into the endless abyss so he can’t warn zzl and tlj about the plot against them

- (shen jiu goes to see him before he gets sent in: “why’d you do it?” “i… i wanted to try and let them (su xiyan and tianlang-jun) be happy together…”)

- sy is stuck in the abyss making himself a little house and strong arming the various horrors down there into liking him

- cut to shen jiu, now shen qingqiu, extremely bitter about the fact that the only person he considered a friend betraying him the cultivation world, and seeing baby binghe who looks just like the guy his friend got tossed into the the abyss for and figures out that this must have been what shen yuan was trying to protect

- shen qingqiu is livid and takes it out on binghe

- yet another cut, we know what bingge’s childhood was like, and binghe’s gets dropped into the abyss (sqq thinks that it’s fitting he sends the beast to the same fate that trying to protect him doomed shen yuan to)

- binghe wanders the abyss, being miserable, for several years before he comes across… a house? the bamboo house from qing jing peak? is he hallucinating? but no, it’s not quite the same, it’s made with whatever freaky bamboo equivalent grows in the abyss and there’s a pen with a six-legged carnivorous horse around the side of it

- shen yuan built himself a version of the bamboo house because he really liked it and he helped build shen qingqiu’s bamboo house as a sort of present/congratulations for ascending to peak lord status and he wanted a comfortable place to relax where he’s less likely to be attacked by a beast

- binghe is very confused when he is enthusiastically greeted by a fox demon who looks like his scummy teacher but is rather quickly endeared and intrigued

- they bond, shen yuan helps binghe find xin mo and they get out of the abyss and into the demon realm together with shen yuan acting as an advisor for binghe similarly to how he did with tlj, with the condition that binghe helps him release tlj and zzl from their prison

- this is the main catalyst for them going to huan hua in this au (most people have forgotten what sy looks like or they were too young to remember his trial even happening, it wasn’t anything super public because publicity for the great sects is very important so they kept things very hush hush)

- shen yuan reunites with zhuzhi-lang and tianlang-jun! it takes them a while to figure out how to properly break them out but they do manage it!

- at some point in the demon realm shen yuan and shang qinghua run into each other and clock that the other person is a transmigrator pretty quickly (they both have a habit of muttering in chinglish during court and they hear each other and do the spider-man point meme)

- sqh and sy bond and binghe and mbj don’t exactly know if they should be jealous about it, they’re very close and seem to share some sort of strange dialect that only the two of them speak and spend a lot of time together?? (they’re arguing and maybe kissing a little bc… cumplane my loves)

- shen yuan eventually has the misfortune of running into liu qingge (who survives here because i love him and i think that sy would at least try to prevent his death because he found him endearing when they were disciples), while sy is delighted that his shidi is alive he’s less happy about having cheng luan pointed directly at his throat in a secluded alleyway when he was just trying to browse the market of a town he remembered being pleasant

- reuniting with lqg leads to reuniting with the rest of cang qiong (and getting yelled at for his incompetence by shen qingqiu before they make up)

- shen yuan has (just barely) convinced binghe that torture is not the answer to solving his trauma so shen qingqiu does not get water prisoned but they aren’t trusted alone in a room together for a good long time

- eventually this probably ends in shen yuan collecting a harem on accident (not that he’s very upset about it but still, he’s confused how he managed this)

- neither binghe nor shen qingqiu are particularly pleased about the harem thing but like… they love shen yuan and if it makes him happy they’ll put up with these other idiots (they totally don’t like some of the other harem members what are you talking about? there’s nothing going on there stop asking them about it)

[endlessburningdarkness]

You know, in PIDW, Shen Jiu could very easily be turned into a martyr. I've always thought that Luo Bingge's empire was always doomed to fail, especially after decades of the world decaying and falling to ruin under his tyranny. That after decades of him doing whatever the hell he wanted, including taking women into his harem by force and committing atrocities because he was pissed, his subjects would grow to hate him. So, of course, he would become the villain, the scum, the lecher and backstabber, and a liar.

Imagine that after decades of it, someone unearthed transcripts of Shen Jiu's trial. They read it all and realize that there is no actual proof of anything and that he was convicted solely on heresy. That all his accuser were either Luo Binghe himself, in cahoots with him, or women who would go on to be the founders of his horrific harem. No actual proof and accusations were made by very biased parties with something to gain from Shen Jiu's conviction. Not to mention that anyone who could have either refuted or corroborated the accusations were all killed by Luo Binghe's orders.

People love both a tragic martyr and good conspiracy theories. Shen Jiu is no longer an irredeemable villain in the public eye, but a wrongfully convicted man who was targeted because he knew too much. Knew what LBH really was and could have stopped him and his plans.

Their roles are reversed, and in the end, Shen Jiu gets the last laugh.

This is a very nice idea, very cathartic, though I would say Shen Qingqiu got the last laugh the moment he died anyway because well, he gets to leave the shit world while LBH is stuck in it and will now never get his true desire: Shen Qingqiu's attention.

I can totally see all kind of crazy conspiracy theories popping up regarding Shen Qingqiu and if we buy that LBH is not actually happy with his expanding harem, and has many children, we can also argue that eventually the wives and kids get sick of his shit and kill him or imprison him and as part of that process, they attack his character by digging up what he actually did to Shen Qingqiu.

[sunderwight]

Thinking about an SV scenario where TLJ had kids before the whole Su Xiyan thing went down.

Like he was an emperor, right? And we don't actually know how old he was, though he was at least old enough that his sister's son was mostly raised to adulthood by him by the time catastrophe struck. It wouldn't have been at all strange or even improbable for him to have been married already, perhaps several times over, by the time he met Su Xiyan and actually fell in love with someone.

Obviously any known kids TLJ had would have demons queuing up to install them on the throne after he got sealed under the mountain (and others probably wanting to kill or oust them), but we could explain the perception that TLJ had no heirs with a little bit of deliberate planning or cleverness on their part. Maybe they also showed up at the ambush, saw an opportunity to escape a life they detested, and pretended to have been killed/sealed too before just walking off to go life their dream life as a theatrical performer or country doctor or fortune teller or something. Maybe there were a bunch of them and they all engaged in brutal in-fighting for the throne, except one who just took the first opportunity to fake their death and then nope'd out to the countryside. Maybe they were a hybrid like Zhuzhi Lang whom everyone discounted from the succession due to not inheriting the "good" genes, so they went and stayed with their mother's faction and dropped out of political events.

Honestly I'm kind of surprised we don't seem to have loads of Heavenly Demon OC's and self-inserts in this fandom. I bet PIDW fandom was flooded with them. Bet there were tons of "Binghe's long-lost cool older brother who gets his own massive harem and adventures and separate realms to conquer" type OCs and probably just as many "distant cousin of Luo Binghe's is a beautiful Heavenly Demon and the only woman fit to be his equal who does away with his need for the harem because she can keep up with his desires and cleanse xin mo all by herself" and etc.

God it would be so funny if Peerless Cucumber had a Heavenly Demonsona. The world's most unselfaware combination of those two types, Luo Binghe's long-lost distant male cousin who has no interest in building his own harem (seriously guys stop trying to compete!) but only wants to support Luo Binghe and offer him the companionship and compassion (brotherly, platonic!) that he truly needs and can't seem to get from all those 2D hussies he surrounds himself with.

Even funnier if the System makes Heavenly Cucumber a real character, and suddenly Shen Qingqiu is faced with his own idealized self-insert who is blatantly obsessed with Luo Binghe, obnoxiously over-powered, and living in the kind of glass closet that makes post-canon Shen Qingqiu want to crawl into a hole and die.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

*Please note the use of guy yuri is in reference to the Ineffable Husbands presenting as men most of the time, I'm not trying to erase they're both canonically nonbinary.

Propaganda:

For Bingqiu: "One is a housewife and the other is a trophy wife. They both want to be each other's wife so bad (even though Shen Qingqiu would never admit it)"

"Where do I even start... Housewife x trophy wife. Every gender havers. Shen Qingqiu can't decide if he himself is wife or mommy, but is convinced his husband is a delicate lovesick maiden. Luo Binghe has self-assigned himself all of the wifely duties of an ancient Chinese wife years before Shen Qingqiu has become remotely aware of his crush. Also later in the novel he acts like a jealous girlfriend. And specifically girlfriend, like it was an important part of his arc that he stopped acting like a jealous boyfriend and started acting like a jealous girlfriend instead. This has won him his man."

"They're insane, fucking unhinged"

For Ineffable Husbands: "Well due to neil mentioning that they was plans for a fem presenting 1960s scene of the two of them that never ended up happening, there's a lot of fanart of that. Plus, they are an angel and a demon, and both technically don't follow the gender rules of humans and many other species on earth, so while they do present very masculine throughout the show, they could be any gender and therefore they seem very fitting for this.(I do apologize as I don't quite understand what guy Yuri is despite your definition so I am guessing and have no clue if they count."

"Looks like m/m on first glance but they don't actually really have gender and Crowley dresses as a woman for a good few years canonically"

"theyre male presenting in the show but they dont really have gender so they could be wlw if they wanted to"

"While both characters spend most of their time presenting as male, they are supernatural beings without any real sex or gender. Crowley appears as a woman multiple times, and one scrapped scene included both Aziriphale and Crowley as women in the 1960s. Additionally, it’s very common to find “Ineffable Wives” fanworks, with both characters appearing as women. As well as having been an immensely popular fandom ship for many years, it has been confirmed that Aziriphale and Crowley are canonically in love with each other."

"Regularly turned into women in fanart. Both Aziraphale and Crowley are incredibly gender. They have been together in some sort of way for 6000 years. Heavy yearning. Cringefail. Divorced and married at the same time. Literally an angel and a demon. What more could you want?"

"theyre literally genderless and can be anything ever!!!"

"Their genders are ineffable and they have hopelessly pined for centuries"

[jade-len]

bad svsss fanfic/au idea: random marriage/guidance counselor transmigrates into PIDW, sees the absolute mess of lord luo bingge and his harem, goes "jesus fucking christ", and makes bank.

and like. they're probably not even that good of a counselor. it's just that people lack any sense when it comes to bingge, and since he's the emperor, that means pretty much everyone. also because therapy doesn't exist. i'll give them some credit though, whatever they hell they're doing works.

now, while sqq and sqh are having a grand ol' time in SVSSS with their husbands, this random, average counselor has to deal with being in the care of lord luo bingge. no wife beam. no anything. all they have is some basic empathy and common sense people just tend to lack in here for some reason.

it's even worse considering the fact that they've arrived after luo bingge completed his plan and became the hailed demon emperor. now, while they've never full on read the entire thing, they've heard enough from a close friend who has kept up with it to know the main character is the literal embodiment of the cycle of abuse and heavy unresolved issues. like, it got to the point where they started to unironically use luo bingge as an example of how to not deal with conflicts and trauma.

really, how could people like bingge? seriously, it's just another edge lord main character with way too many glamorized issues and abuse. red flag! (hey, who the hell is peerless cucumber and why does he keep defending binghe? lord, have mercy on these impressionable young men...)

so, after being kidnapped taken in by bingge and his wives after the bunch claimed that they were a "wise man" or whatever (all they did was offer some basic relationship advice to some poor woman, who turned out to be ning yingying, who told the other wives, and it just spiraled from there), they were deemed "special" and given their personal office and a room! hey, better than being on the streets in this god forsaken hentai-ish world, i guess.

quickly, a routine was established. one that, especially, consisted of luo bingge outright ignoring them. which, they weren't complaining about!

wake up, eat, meet with multiple of the wives, spend their hard earned money on delicious delicacies, meet with more wives, sleep, repeat. the most interaction they had with the demon emperor was him ordering them around, but even then, that was uncommon. it was, surprisingly, easy to fall into the rhythm of this undoubtedly odd life. you're upset that lord luo hasn't spent much time with you? maybe you can ask! the other wives are being annoying? remove yourself from the situation. you're upset that lord luo has so many other wives? oohhh... yeah. uhm.

luo binghe only tolerated them, they knew that. and they're sure that, if not for multiple of his wives insisting on keeping them, they'd be dead for even daring to be so "intimate" with them. a little bit of a shock, if they do say so themself. like, insecure much (something that they'll probably never get used to is the fact that bingge built an entire little village for his wives, though)?

but that's not the most shocking thing, oh, no.

it's this.

"i- i tried.. i tried to take the.. hiic-- other.. other shizun w-with me.." lord luo binghe, the powerful, almighty demon emperor, trembles and sobs. "b-but he! he wanted to-- s-stay with that.. stupid, inferior version of my- hic- self.."

despite the mountain of gold they're getting paid in, is it really enough to deal with this? probably not. will they get killed for witnessing luo binghe's vulnerability? perhaps. is he a dictator, the embodiment of the cycle of abuse, and a crazily vengeful bastard? definitely.

"it's-- s' not.." his voice breaks. something else inside of them probably does, too. "..n-not, hiic- fair."

should they feel bad? they shouldn't. he's hurt much too many people. isn't it a little late? can he even be redeemed? because, they are absolutely not here to try and "fix" him.

and yet.

"can you breathe, lord luo? deep breaths, don't focus on anything else but me, okay? i'll do it with you too. can you do that for me? there, there. you're doing a very good job, do you know that? here, when i'm upset, sometimes i like to do something called, '5-4-3-2-1'. i promise it'll help, binghe. would you like for me to do this one with you too?"

they can't help but think about a small, lonely boy on qing jing peak.

. . .

after that, bingbing slowly starts to come around and develop an actual bond! cool!! he just,,, can't believe only his wives were granted the "wisdom". how foolish was he?

"i know i'm only a mere human, but i can tell that lord luo is... masking things. you can put that away for now, okay? i promise, everything you say here will be confidential information, and it'll never leak... no no there's no enemy spies here-"

"i'm not even going to question this. you go back there right now and deal with it yourself if you cannot respect me or the other clients. aka, your wives."

"no, it's not stupid. this is how people help themself, and it's okay if you want to do it. as long as it doesn't hurt you or anybody. it helps, and that's all that matters."

"oh? one of your wife confronted to you about it? i'm glad to hear that, she's doing well, i see. i'm also happy that you're listening too, really."

"yes, and when something like that happens, you--- no- don't pull out xin mo now. what did we say about that? good job."

"here, can i touch your hands, binghe? there we go. when you're unsteady, you feel the need to pick at your skin, correct? well, let's try a few different things to keep those hands busy! it must be quite stressful being an emperor. how about we start with crocheting! it's quite popular back at my hometown."

"your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, lord luo. hey, how about you take a small break and visit her, okay? you want me to come with you? of course, it'd be an honor."

and thus, the story of the poor transmigrator counselor continues on with luo bingge added to their schedule!! this could be read as romantic or platonic lol. but i was thinking of this as luo bingge obtaining his first actual friend. it takes a long while due to bingge's... bingge-ness, but eventually it all works out lmao

[allpiesforourown]

I love the idea of the Washer Woman being the sensible adult in Binghe's life in the Demon Prince Binghe Au. I can see Tianlang reading him romance novels as a kid while Su Xiyan chooses books on cultivation and how to crush ones enemies. Washer woman has lectured them both on child appropriate practices more than once, Tianglang more than Su Xiyan.

Imagine young Binghe getting cursed as a puppy one day and wandering off, tired, hungry, and injured only to be rescued Qing Jing Peak Disciple Shen Yuan who nurses him back to health . Washer woman ends up being the one to retrieve the prince since she's human and not considered to be a traitor like Su Xiyan.

Afterwards, Binghe can't stop gushing about his fateful meeting with the beautiful shimei he met (Shen Yuan was so pretty he thought he was girl).

Tianlang: That's my son, not even ten and he's already found his future wife! Not only that, but a cultivator to boot! But wait, the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect despise demons and would never permit one of their own to court a demon which their love would be forbidden! Ahh this just like the plot of Love Amongst Thorns where the heroine ends riding into battle on a dragon and then diving into a volcano to save her lover, the enemy general!

Xiyan: If she is a cultivator like you say, you'll have to become strong enough to defeat the peak lords Cang Qiong Mountain sect, for they will not let her go without a fight. Of course, it's a war they want, it's a war they'll get.

Unamed Washer Woman:....

Unamed Washer Woman: Or you can just thank her for taking care of your "dog" and get to know her as friends.

BONUS: I just picture Shen Yuan being the equivalent of a Disney Princess in this AU but being completely oblivious to it. Except instead of cute woodland creatures, various monsters and other creatures are drawn to him. He is also confused as to why so many people are surprised he's a guy

NDJDHB YEAH. she's the only sense of reason

Binghe: how do I tell someone I like him..

Tlj: beg him for money and become his sugar baby. That's how I got your mother

Su xiyan: show him your strength and he won't be able to resist you

Washerwoman: how about we try something like flowers first :)

Personally I was imagining shen yuan as some wandering cultivator. Binghe's hanging out in a forest when some demon planning to kidnap the prince shows up and is immediately beaten up by the handsome man who was passing through.

Binghe: PLEASE COME HOME AND MEET MY PARENTS

Shen yuan: aww if you insist..

Shen yuan is a bit nervous but overall glad the demon prince protagonist doesn't seem to hate him. Binghe is ecstatic the nice man agreed to have a meeting with his parents to discuss marriage ..

Shen yuan actually gets hired to be binghes tutor. Binghe needs to work on his human cultivation as well as his demonic cultivation, and while su xiyan would be happy to be her sons shizun, she's getting so damn annoyed with binghe bringing shen yuan up every two seconds

[unforth]

Started thinking about a modern Bingliushen pro-wrestling AU.

Liu Qingge is a face and very popular for his noble character and his incredible athleticism, like, pro wrestling is fake but Liu Qingge is clearly a legit badass. His rival is...

Luo Binghe is a heel, always comes out to the ring with a harem, and always wins when he and Liu Qingge fight, often because a couple members of the harem do underhanded things.

When they do, Luo Binghe scolds them and says he doesn't believe in cheating to win and then always gives the camera the most absolute wicked "of course I actually support this" look. (Even though he is also an athletic badass. There are frequent calls for them to have a clean fight cause fans want to genuinely know who'd win.)

Shang Qinghua is the script writer.

And Shen Yuan is the YouTuber who does hour-long vitriolic rants after every event where he lambasts the writing and detests the whole harem and leads the brigade of people demanding that Binghe and Qingge have a clean fight with no interference. His videos are so unhinged that he's actually gotten extremely popular, because his over-the-top-ness fits right in with the megadrama that is pro wrestling. The only issue, if it's an issue, is that no one can figure out if it's a schtick or if he genuinely is like that and really believes all the nonsense he's spewing (and, by extension, if he fully realizes that wrestling is a schtick).

Oh, and one other thing?

Shen Yuan never shows his face. His videos are voice-overs of clips, ingeniously done animations, awfully done animations, once or twice a person in a mask, once or twice a weird pseudo Hatsune Miko thing, he has many tricks to keep the visuals interesting and none involve a face reveal.

He has sworn up and down he'll never do a face reveal.

When he hits 1 million subscribers, Shang Qinghua reluctantly acknowledges that this fuckin annoying weirdo has gotten too big to ignore. He wants to meet him. He wants to make him shut the fuck up, or at least ease off on the hate. And since he's clearly obsessed with Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge, Shang Qinghua has a plan.

He invites Shen Yuan to meet the real Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge.

Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge, who have an at-times-tense friendship behind the scenes (what kind of tense? Yes.) Are of course aware of this Shen Yuan fellow, and both enjoy watching his videos (...and really like his voice...) and Luo Binghe at least has noticed there's...something...about the way Shen Yuan talks about Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge, something charged and interested and almost possessive (and yeah, Luo Binghe is into it, and he just assumes Liu Qingge has noticed. Liu Qingge has not.)

And like. Shen Yuan does know that wrestling is fake. He does! But he's still in no way prepared to meet these two men and find out what they're each really like when they're not playing their face/heel roles...

And neither Liu Qingge nor Luo Binghe are prepared for the beautiful face of the man behind those ridiculous videos...