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wtfzodiacsigns · 6 years ago

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How the signs express their emotions

Look at your moon sign.

Aries: You’re impulsive. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you tend to put your heart in everything. That’s something you want to hang onto. Your passion is what makes you unique and when it comes to relationships (platonic/familial/romantic) you give 100%. In arguments and fights, you can get explosive and may even resort to violence. Honestly, this is all Mars’s fault. When it comes to good news, you may become animated and loud (almost childlike) - wanting to let the whole world know just how happy you are. When in love, you can get quite intense and dedicate a lot of your time to your significant other. Try to think before you say things you’ll regret as not everyone is as forgiving as you.

Taurus: You’re grounded. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you tend not to provide much of a reaction at all. Your thoughts and feelings mostly stay in your mind, unless the situation is out of control and there’s a lot at stake. You prefer to understand what you’re feeling and process them before acting. But the bull inside you will come out eventually if you bottle up your emotions for too long. This can be as explosive as Aries, if not more. And the slightest thing might trigger it. In arguments and fights, you can become quite brutal. When it comes to good news, you might prefer to be a bit more muted but it’ll be obvious how happy you are given your expressions of joy. When in love, that Venusian aspect of you is at home and your love for your partner is there for the whole world to see. Try to air out your issues before they become too significant. Maybe instead of the bull, we’ll get the better-tempered calf.

Gemini: You’re robotic. It’s not that you don’t feel emotions, you just prefer not to. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you’ll be quite relaxed and nonchalant. You prefer things that can be analysed logically rather than dealt with emotionally. In arguments and fights, you’ll most likely debate and give out witty remarks rather than get violent. Maybe even turn it into a joke. Mercury is responsible for this. When it comes to good news, you can get quite giddy and excited. So many ideas start swimming in that mind of yours that never seems to stop whirring. But there’s also a distance there, like you’re already thinking about the negatives. When in love, you become innocent and nervous. Anxiety can be an issue. Try not to overthink so much and just be in the moment. Emotions aren’t meant to be scary, as long as you know how to deal with them.

Cancer: You’re empathetic. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you prefer to keep things on the inside and deal with them when you’re on your own. You like to retreat in your shell (home) where you feel safe and comfortable. In arguments and fights, you can become quite manipulative because of your emotional intelligence. You might shift the blame onto the other person and have a tendency to hold grudges. When it comes to good news, you feel whole and sincere like everything is lined up perfectly. Sometimes joy will get you emotional just as much as sadness will. When in love, you offer it unconditionally. This is where the nurturing Moon comes into play. You love taking care of your significant other. Try to let go of things and be a bit more easygoing. Maybe then will you realise that you don’t need to retreat so often.

Leo: You’re dramatic. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you want the whole world to know how you’re feeling. This is because of the pride you have in everything that you do. Blame the Sun for this. In arguments and fights, you may resort to putting the opposition down by pointing out their insecurities. Your pride will enable you to see others as inferior and you may not even care to argue with them at all, preferring not to waste your time. When it comes to good news, you’ll want to show off to everyone. You enjoy the chance to show off your achievements especially to the people who doubted you. When in love, it’s a spectacle. Your affection knows no limits and your significant other will never be bored. Try to come back down to earth every once in a while so you can appreciate the things that really matter.

Virgo: You’re critical. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you tend to over-analyse everything. This is due to Mercury and causes you to be extremely self-aware. In arguments and fights, you will point out all the faults in the other person with receipts to back it up. You definitely come prepared. When it comes to good news, you can enjoy it for a little while before a sense of dread settles in and then it’s back to reality. You worry about your happiness being taken away, not realising that that in itself is what causes it to go in the first place. When in love, much like Gemini, you become nervous. Butterflies occupy your stomach and you see your significant other as this incredible being, even you not able to criticise them. Try to enjoy what’s been given to you and understand that the idea of things being perfect is nonexistent.

Libra: You’re objective. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you prefer seeing both sides of the story before making any judgement. In arguments and fights, you tend to avoid them altogether. You see no sense in confrontation and want things to be peaceful and harmonious all of the time. This is where Venus comes in. When it comes to good news, you feel complete and that everything is right in the world. You stay rational and weigh out the pros and cons though. You are an air sign after all. When in love, you see things through rose-coloured glasses and can get a little superficial. You’re romantic and flirty and will want to shower your partner with love. Try to come to terms with the fact that not everything on this earth is beautiful and that ugliness exists. Don’t let that get in the way of your positivity though, the thing about Libra is balance.

Scorpio: You’re intense. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you feel things deeply. But you’re complex so you also seem detached. You manage to see into other people’s souls and for that reason can become greatly affected by the actions of others. In arguments and fights, you know just what to say to make the other person feel awful. You’re deadly, there’s no denying that. When it comes to good news, you prefer to be happy with your closest friends. The ones who know the softer side to you. When in love, intimacy is extremely important and you value sex and affection. You can become possessive and protective, craving a relationship that’s more of an experience rather than a fling. Try not to take things to heart too much and find a middle ground for you to express yourself. There are numbers between 0 and 100 you know.

Sagittarius: You’re lighthearted. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you tend to let things go quite easily and are able to move on without too much hassle. This is because you’re the student and you believe that mistakes must be made for you to move forward. In arguments and fights, it’s easy for you to lose control a little bit and say things you’ll regret. You’re charm will come in handy as a tool for apologising though as your anger subsides quickly. When it comes to good news, you become playful and charismatic. You want to hang out with the people that you care about and live in the moment. When in love, you offer your partner freedom and seek a relationship that is a journey. One where the both of you grow and change together. Try not to get too riled up as your charm won’t always work when you say something hurtful.

Capricorn: You’re realistic. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you seem to know the minimum effort required in a situation. You need the extra energy for the stuff that’s really important. Or at least important to you (aspirations). The Saturn in you makes you great at managing your discipline and resources. In arguments and fights, you only get involved if it’s really worth your time. You will command your authority and state point by point why the other person is wrong and you are right. When it comes to good news, you deal with it accordingly as if it were another task. When in love, you’re easily content and are very reliable as long as they are ok with you pursuing your goals. PDA is not something you’re a fan of. Try to enjoy yourself a little more and give yourself time to breathe and take a break. You won’t regret it I promise.

Aquarius: You’re aloof. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you seem to be surrounded by a bubble with not much being able to get through to you. Not a lot of things affect you and that’s because you’re focused on the bigger picture. In arguments and fights, you don’t even bother as they’re a waste of your brainpower. You might just point out calmly why you think the other person is an idiot using vocabulary they’re probably not familiar with. Oh well. You don’t feel anger that much so it’s hard to get under your skin. When it comes to good news, you’re more than happy to go out with your closest friends and chat about topics that interest you. Being yourself keeps you healthy. When in love, you like to be independent and prefer to treat your partner as a friend. Romance is not something you care for. Try to be a bit more in tune with your feelings instead of observing everything from afar. It’s good to immerse yourself and experience things firsthand.

Pisces: You’re intuitive. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you are able to portray a vast amount of emotions all at once. This all depends on your environment and who you’re with. Your natural psychic abilities keep you in tune with other people’s feelings and you take them on as your own. In arguments and fights, you tend to avoid them as much as possible. You believe that violence and unpleasant conversations won’t solve anything. When it comes to good news, you become this innocent child - beaming and radiant. Everything is ok and you feel positive. When in love, you put your significant other on a pedestal and can sacrifice a lot for your relationship if you feel like it is worth saving. Try to remove yourself from situations and stop letting other people’s problems affect you so much.

Source: thatpiscesfish

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gg-astrology · 6 years ago

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Sagittarius sun with a Gemini moon? What are your thoughts on how they would be?

Hey there! 💕Here ya go I did my best 💕 I hope you didn’t wait too long ksdjnsk im so sorry ;; 💕💕 im working from bottoms up and only just got to urs 💕

[Below Cut: Sagittarius Sun - Gemini Moon 🧞‍♂️ ]

Clever and lucky...what a good combination to have

I nearly had half the mind to put a clover leaf for this combination because they somehow always seem to get by -- being playful and autonomous, detached and friendly without compromising themselves/binding themselves down completely to anything (belonging to everything).

But i feel like the genie is better-- it talks about the wandering spirit Sagittarius/Gemini has. They touch and go, learn and grow, but without anyone around them who’s consistent/stead-fast throughout their entire life.

These people have the ability to come across as someone who’s incredibly anxious skdjngskn but that in itself is a survival skill, they skrrrt so fast when someone tries to make them stay/figure them out deeper than what they’re willing to show, there’s a fear of vulnerabilities/intimacy that comes with the territory. Because they feel like if they ‘open’ that up--- it’s a whole can of worms that could potentially turn into upsetting their moods, and they are always defined by what mood they’re in.

They also don’t like it when they themselves are held accountable for their own words/action. Because sometimes they 1) ‘cant remember what they said/thats too specific/detailed/technical’

Or 2) did something that they said they weren’t going to do bc they already ‘grew past what they said/that phrase in their life’ even tho it was like-- 15 minutes ago.

Can’t hold them accountable for themselves?? Lack a lil self-discipline which y know, might be endearing to a certain age/expected of the environment -- but in the long-run, the thought of ‘oh god am i going to get anywhere/manifest anything in 10 years’ freaks them out sometimes (causes anxiety to spike) so -- they don’t like to think too hard about these things (selective, with what they’re thinking about/spend their time thinking about. Watch for this)

Which--also directly contributes to why they have a problem with self-discipline. They’d rather wait for these ‘periods’ of anxiety to rise again and again and then subdue them again and again.

Than --- y know, actually putting it into action/doing something about it realistically (through effort) and help their own future instead.

They’re easily discouraged by set backs too, especially the financial/circumstantial kinds. Any kinds of upsets/mishaps or challenges that comes from those areas makes them spiral directly into despair. That’s why they lack self-discipline somewhat--bc they themselves can’t ‘hold up’ their moods against slight disappointment/challenges made against them.

(A way to help is to learn perseverance, consistency. Look towards Taurus/Earth signs for help. Since they can be dedicated/stead-fast, but lets you have your own autonomy if ONLY you learn how to actually open up and ask them for help without feeling ‘shitty/guilty’ about doing it)

Another thing they do is just kinda, try to relieve the pressure/tension so they ‘lighten’ it up. One of these coping mechanism can be making it into a joke/divert it away from the severity of the situation

(It’s not that severe you’ll get along fine with how you are, it’s just-- you’re always going to be stuck in your own ways and always anxious if you don’t gain any stable grounds for yourself too yknow?)

They can sometimes just think of ‘taking action/actually committing to something’ as being personal attacks, and anyone who tries to suggest/teach them to do this is lashed out against bc it ‘restricts their luck/optimism’ (again, their self-preservation and first priority is always their freedom/autonomy and that comes in the territory of ‘mood’ as well. Unable to take any other ‘mood’ other than light and airy, sometimes thinking of things as ‘learning how to cope/accept different moods for yourself and be ok with working on it’ can help)

Sagittarius/Gemini person have plenty of extroverted/playful persona, someone knows Whats up with people bc they aren’t afraid to dive into it/ask about it.

That’s like-- the ‘smooth’ persona they use to get by y know? it’s their extroverted persona instead of-- actually doing something for themselves that binds/balance both sides together and actually help lesson their anxiety at it’s core fear. Which is what they kinda have to realize (that it’s all interconnected)

In a way they can just--- fear not being optimistic and actually having to be ‘down’ about something because the ‘reality’ of their fear is just that.

Part of them might just be afraid of how others sees them, if they aren’t going to be ‘good’ to themselves/others anymore bc they’re less optimistic than before.

Bounded by the same rules as others (societal expectations/longevity of life). They’d rather ‘represent’ something else-- hope, optimism, but y know. Same problem anyways. The anxiety and ‘diversion’ from the norm will only make them feel like they can’t ever....actually face their problems/starting at ground 0 again (feels like it’s too late to start, which is-- a part of their fear again)

I think--- hmm, the thing that might help Sagittarius/Gemini is to just take it simply. They’re the type of person who likes to taste, to explore a large variety of experience, themes, hobbies, life. But they’re unaware that they’re pretty constrained in their-- well, emotional health? Their moods?

They take what they want, preach but doesn’t learn as much as they think they do. They’re selective in what they want to learn about, what they’re ‘ready’ for. And sometimes-- the hardest lesson in life is learning the things that are ‘truthful’ and ‘helpful’ which might not be-- all fun and nice all the times.

By learning the values in hard lessons, in accepting the sober and uncomfortable ‘moods’-- they’ll be much better adapted at handling/dealing with their anxious energy as well.

Ok that’s-- that’s very heavy, let’s move onto some other stuff!

These people are Chatty, but like...has so much going on they need some time away too skdnfksn

Sagittarius/Gemini sometimes feel like their mouth/brain moves faster than what they can control (causes restlessness/frustration)...so if they leave themselves to like, socialize for more than 24 hrs at a time they’re going to come back going ‘oh god why did i say that/what have i done’

Frustration at themselves for oversharing/hit-the-wall feeling of having nothing left to share??? Mutable energy has so much energy that it often makes their strongest ‘frustration’ letting themselves ‘go’ too much

(Because if they have ‘nothing left to share’ then that only means they’ll have to be repetitive and god they hate that. It’s not new/fresh and it’s not-- it’s not contributing to anything)

Thus why they seek to sometimes hide themselves away, be away from people in order to y know-- gather resources/energy to NOT be too much/expend their energy too much on the outside (and also lowkey to not Make a Fool also)

This is from an outsider’s perspective but also like....I’m always conscious thinking about Gemini as the Twin and it’s not just one side to them y know

I think we tend to think Gemini as being extroverted all the time when it’s not usually like that. They’re the twin...it’s a cycle... there’s two sides to the coin that needs to be processed

Their energy works in a cycle, continuous and moving, the twin isn’t just speaking out-loud/alone, it’s speaking/looping between two people.

If they don’t spend enough time thinking/gaining resource/fuel they over-share because they over-exert themselves....when they spend too much time internalizing/adding things onto their resources they get frustrated, restless, antsy and wants to ‘explode’ this onto social realm

So it’s like....they gotta be in a ‘Moment’ where they can both gain resources/information and process/drop the information in a continuous cycle -- quicker, constant, faster y know (Mercurial sign)

Instead of ‘stopping’ the motion and ‘pacing’ themselves-- the Sagittarius/Gemini is all about working at a faster pace than the one the world moves at....the one that if ‘man-made’ or controlled, would be detrimental to them

It’s a mixture of Sagittarius fire impulses, ‘doing’ things making them feel productive (and so not depriving them of those gratification by dropping them slower than normal) and then Gemini being naturally fast moving already-- being able to gather large (jupiter) information and then process them/cycling them through (release- mercury) is how they gain gratification/work perfectly in balance with themselves

Thing is-- they work --- super fast, faster than most people operate so it can be hard for others to keep up and keep them stimulated all the time

That’s ok, since Sagittarius/Gemini wouldn’t mind talking to just -- like, anyone. When they need to anyways. With great communicative ability, eloquence and friendliness/open-ness to them, they make others feel welcomed to talk. Even when they’re normally quiet/with-drawn mostly bc the Sagittarius/Gemini keeps the conversation going for them.

The thing is, Sagittarius/Gemini may rarely keep anyone around. Or rather, they sometimes ‘forget’ about people sometimes bc they move along so quickly and boldly-- and they judge others based on the interactions they’ve had, whether they’ve ‘stuck’ around in their mind or not. So it’s--- it can be kind of hard to think these people would belong anywhere, find anyone they truly stay ‘stuck’ with unless the person would be able to listen to them/keep up with them mentally a lot of the time.

Also these people aren’t afraid to be eccentric, they have good judgement. It might be a lil quirky or different, but Jupiter/Mercury never find joy in the TOTALLY conventional anyways.

And if they like something, they just-- keep doing it, keep pursuing it because it gives them stimuli (hobbies/interest) although they can have a large array of interests--as long as they’re ‘doing’ something physically with it they can keep themselves engaged/make it into a quantifiable project (see the results: the multitude of their craft/project at the end and look back on themselves like ‘wow i did this all in this year’)

That’s the thing isn’t it? They like seeing quantifiable ‘proof’ that they did something productive (fire moon-physical proof) -- they like to see that, although they are careless and forgetful sometimes. They did amount to something in the end.

It all comes down to-- y know, learning lessons. self-discipline. because you can’t keep closing your eyes, blinding painting random swatches and hoping it’ll turn out into something manifestable/painting that’s ‘oh thats better than expected!’ all the time y know. (you can’t keep seeing disasterous results as ‘aw thats ok :(( maybe next time’ when you’re just?? depending on luck?? to get by???)

Anyways, I hope I didn’t go in too hard ;; 💕💕💕Hope you gain some insights from this! 💕💕

#sagittarius sun #gemini moon #sagittarius #gemini #sagittarius-gemini #reclusiveextrovert2 #asks

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creatingawitch · 7 years ago

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Which Major Arcana are you?

So, recently I’ve been wondering which Major Arcana card I see myself as most, and I stumbled across the interesting idea that everyone’s birthday relates to a different Major Arcana card. It’s easy to figure out using simple numerology.

For example:

If my birth date were 05/07/1990, I’d add those numbers together to get 31.

0+5+0+7+1+9+9+0 = 31.

Now, if your number is 21 or lower, that number becomes the number of the Major Arcana card that you (according to your birth date) are most associated with or influenced by. There are only 21 Major Arcana cards, and so anything higher than this needs to be made smaller. The example birth date is 31, which is greater than the number of cards, and so the numbers need to be added together to make a smaller one. Like so:

3+1 = 4

So, in this instance 4 becomes the number associated with your card. You would then look through the Major Arcana cards to find the card associated with you (in this case it would be The Emperor.)

Below, I’ve written my own interpretation of what I believe each of the Major Arcana cards would be like as a person, along with a simple sentence or two of advice.

0 - The Fool

If you’ve added up your birth date and you’ve managed to get 0, I think you need to have another crack at it. Then again, if you’ve managed to add numbers together and find 0, perhaps this is the right card for you after all. If you were to be influenced by The Fool you would be someone who threw your all into everything without thinking of the consequences. Sometimes reckless and impulsive, you believe ‘if it’s meant to be, it will be’. The universe will provide it. Your life will be full of adventure, full of ups and downs, full of travel and journeys, and you’ll never be bored. You accept everything as it comes with no worries and no judgement. Remember: somethings need finesse and planning, don’t jump into everything head first. Just because you can’t see the bottom of the ocean, doesn’t mean you won’t find jagged rocks should you jump off the cliff.

1 - The Magician

The Magician is someone who has the power and the knowledge to make anything manifest. If you are influenced by The Magician, you work hard, are totally committed, and as such have the focus to create and enjoy all that life has to offer. You reach for your goals and you meet them, every time. You’re charming, charismatic and people will seem to in awe of you, though you need to be careful of this as you have the potential to use this awe to manipulate people, especially with the added use of smoke and mirrors. You’re very good at creating illusions to help you get your way. You might not even know that you’re doing it. Remember: not everything can be manipulated to your will. If you do it too often, you might just earn a reputation which will make your life a hell of a lot harder.

2 - The High Priestess

The High Priestess is full of wisdom, knowledge, and intuition, and as such, she can almost be seen as the keeper of secrets. If you are influenced by her, you will feel a pull towards a higher power, towards anything mysterious and spiritual and esoteric. You have a lot of inner wisdom, and as long as you can learn to trust your inner voice and subconscious, you will succeed. You’re quite private and prefer to follow your own path rather than everyone else’s. You decide who gets to know what and how much of what you know. Because of this, you remain mysterious and elusive to most people, potentially even distant, cold and smug. Remember: just because you know more than others, doesn’t mean you need to share that knowledge. Sometimes others won’t appreciate your attempts at sharing as it reminds them of just how little they know.

3 - The Empress

The Empress is the mother to all. If this is you, you have a fierce nurturing instinct and are naturally inclined to create abundance and life. You create chances and opportunities for people and things to grow and become what they always should have been. You’re the person who looks out for the underdog and nurses them back to health when they’re beaten down. You are incredibly creative in all that you do, whether this relates to working at the office, planning a date, cleaning the house or painting. You have a love of pleasure, of all things luxurious and beautiful, however, be careful of overindulgence. As the empress, you have natural power and leadership. You feel you know best in most, if not all, situations and because of this, you may have a tendency towards anger and control if you feel you are challenged. Remember: not everyone will accept your natural role as leader and mother. Sometimes you will need to let others rule, you will need to take a knee and let others blossom into leadership in your absence.

4 - The Emperor

The Emperor is a strong authority figure. You had a high level of self-discipline, and are protective of those who you see as “yours”. As such, you are charismatic and seem to have a following wherever you go. You are a natural, successful leader and come will all the natural traits that follow this: logical, organised, confident and ambitious. Your ambition naturally encourages you to be determined and focused on whatever goal it is you want to complete. Your vision narrows, and your whole being becomes fixed on your dream, your goal, your plan. With this, however, comes a tendency to tread on those who are not as successful as you, mostly due to your single-mindedness. You don’t mean to do it, however, those you use as a stepping stone don’t know this. You can be seen as a tyrant, or as someone who doesn’t care about those outside of your circle of ‘followers’. Remember: compassion can be the greatest trait of a wise leader. There will always be someone who is left out in the cold, you can help them all, but there’s a difference between not helping them and kicking them to the curb as you surpass them.

5 - The Hierophant

The Hierophant is a lover of rules and boundaries and doesn’t often move from the orthodox way of attempting things. You are a rule follower, you do what is expected of you, and take joy from tradition. You might be drawn to exploring different philosophies and ways of looking at the world as you enjoy figuring out and learning about how and why things work like they do. You are a natural counsellor and mentor because applying these findings to other situations is a logical step for you, and you seem to be able to understand the small idiosyncrasies that have built up to cause the larger problem at hand. Incorporating your natural problem-solving skills and your love of tradition into a profession may mean you become a teacher, leader of a club or a spiritual leader. On a slightly negative note, you have a very strong view of what you think is right and you aren’t often tempted to sway from it. You may have a tendency to become too rigid and feel threatened when someone is encouraging you to break the rules. Remember: Just because there is a rule, doesn’t mean it is the right way to do something. Sometimes you’ll find it freeing to break out and forge a path for yourself.

6 - The Lovers

The Lovers not only stand for love, but also for balance. You strive for all things in your life to be in harmony, for the yin and yang, for the femininity to complete the masculinity. You enjoy bringing together two opposites or two broken things and making a whole. You’re a natural problem solver and you can’t resist tinkering and working every single aspect of your life. You may find yourself to be a matchmaker of sorts, constantly medalling in everyone else’s life to aid them in finding the balance. How can you relax when there are friends, or family, or parts of your life where not everything works as it should? Your life will be strewn with choices, with temptations and opportunities. They can seem overwhelming and distracting, but don’t allow the desire for balance distract you from your main goals. Not everything needs to be 100% balanced 100% of the time. Remember: whilst harmony is a beautiful thing, don’t allow the temptation of fixing others pull you from the important decisions you need to make in your own life.

7 - The Chariot

The Chariot is about opposing forces working together to reach victory. You are controlled, confident, wilful and, overall, successful. Sometimes it may seem like your head and your heart wants two completely different things, however, as long as you stay focused, you have the sheer strength of will to reconcile these difference and make it work. You need to keep moving forward to reach victory, even when everything seems to be moving at an impossibly frantic and uncontrolled pace. Focus and direction will be everything for you. Once you have lost those, it will seem like you have lost control of everything. It may also seem like every aspect of your life is pulling you in a million different directions. Remember: you can’t control everything. The key to success is to control what you can and to not worry about what you can’t.

8 - Strength

Strength, no surprise to anyone, is incredibly strong mentally and emotionally. When life knocks you down, you are able to get back up, dust yourself off and carry on. Even when it seems like you’ve been hit a hundred times and every time you attempt something it fails, you have the sheer strength of will and determination to keep going. You are the embodiment of ‘Keep calm and carry on’. You also have a lot of compassion and love for others. People lean on you in difficult times as you radiate stability and power. Despite this, if your focus is lost, you can sometimes force issues and end up pushing too hard. The term ‘you don’t know your own strength’ springs to mind. Remember: sometimes the best thing you can do is to be patient and wait for the right moment. Push something too hard and it will break.

9 - The Hermit

The Hermit is a very introverted soul. You prefer your own company, often needing to draw back and spend time alone. You use this time to analyse things and to develop your own inner wisdom. You’re not one to ask for advice, preferring to work things out in your own head. You may find that many others are drawn to you for advice, seeking your counsel on all manner of things, and this can sometimes irritate you. Don’t become too insular, though. Isolation is fine when it’s for a purpose but everyone gets lonely sometimes. Being around other people can bring fresh new ideas and approaches to problems. Remember: a problem shared is a problem halved. Even if you’re not going to follow someone’s advice, sometimes asking for a fresh perspective can encourage new thoughts.

10 - The Wheel of Fortune

The Wheel of Fortune deals with the unpredictability of fate. Have you ever noticed that your friends call you lucky? Opportunities are seemingly hounding you and pounding on your door. They arrive out of the blue and can take you completely by surprise. Finding a £20 on the floor, friends gifting you tickets to a concert, a dream job, finding the love of your life. It happens all the time to you. There will, of course, be bad times when things don’t go your way. Times when your luck has disappeared and you’re drowning under that big black cloud with holes in both your shoes. When times like this happen, you have a tendency to become overwhelmed and discouraged. You forget the highs and only focus on the lows. Remember: the purpose of a wheel it to keep on turning. You can’t appreciate the good without the bad.

11 - Justice

Justice represents justice of any kind. You treasure truth, balance, fairness, and logic. You weigh things up very carefully, looking at the pros and cons of a situation before you make your decisions. You are aware that your actions have long-term consequences and it is because of this that you analyse everything. You seek the truth behind all, as you value honesty and until you know the truth, you cannot be honest. However, you also need to be aware that not everyone is as honest as you, which means thing won’t play out the way you had hoped. Sometimes people allow their emotions to rule their actions, and this is something that you forget. You can have a tendency to be slightly cold, or not as compassionate as you could be. Remember: not everything needs to be analysed. Sometimes it’s okay to do things just because. Allow yourself to have fun and leave Justice’s scales at home.

12 - The Hanged Man

The Hanged Man reflects the need to suspend action and not rush into things. You are the type of person who needs to contemplate your actions before you jump in. As with The Hanged Man, you may be someone who has a completely different view on the world; as one might image, being suspended upside down causes you to view things in a revolutionary new light. What is up becomes down, and what is normal becomes unusual. You are aware that some things need to be sacrificed if you are to move forward, hence your ability to suspend action in the face of decision when the natural instinct might be to keep moving forward. However, this ability can sometimes lead to you becoming stuck and restricted, or tied up, as it were. You need to get in touch with your emotions in order to truly be able to move on, and not just concentrate on what’s going on in the physical world. Remember: Not everything needs to be viewed in a completely new light. Sometimes things have simple answers. Don’t be tempted to over analyse.

13 - Death

Death represents the ultimate transformation and rebirth. You are someone who doesn’t care for tradition. You don’t want rigid patterns and suffocating structure and useless rules, you want something new and fresh and beautiful. You want to chuck out the old and usher in the new. You revel in endings and new beginnings. You are the type of person who always has sometimes new on the go, who is constantly closing one door to open the next. You create new projects, new meetings, new events, and opportunities, all so you can have that rush of newness. You try to never do the same thing twice. But because of this, you feel stagnant when you’re stuck doing the same thing. If change doesn’t happen, you feel constricted. However, just because something doesn’t change, doesn’t mean you can’t approach it in a new way. You can be the change you need to see. Remember: just because something is old or traditional, doesn’t mean it always has to be changed. Things become the tried-and-tested-way for a reason.

14 - Temperance

Temperance is a card that talks a lot about balance. If this is you, you’re someone who doesn’t often get lost in your emotions. You feel emotion, but at the same time, you’re quite logical. You’re not tempted into excess, you’re grounded, and peaceful and calm by nature. When you’ve got ten projects on the go at the same time, you don’t let it overwhelm you. That doesn’t mean to say you don’t have a fire in you. You’re driven and focused, and willing to do just about anything to see what happens. You’re the type of person who experiments. The person who will put two opposites (people, elements, magics, religions, anything) together just to see what happens, to see if it works or to see if it goes bang. Remember: not everyone will appreciate being experimented on. Don’t let your curiosity allow you to forget people still have feelings.

15 - The Devil

The Devil is all about temptation and power. You’re very good at getting what you want and you get it by any means necessary. This might be through manipulation, through control, through smoke and mirrors, or simply by knowing just when to strike. Regardless, you get what you want and be damned all those who stand in your way. No one else controls you, you are your own power and ruler. You enjoy being in charge and in control, and when one of your ‘minions’ slips away and begins doing something that you don’t approve of, it can make you angry and irritable. You may give in to temptation far too often and have a fixation on materialistic things, or on something rather addictive. You can be distracted by ‘shiny’ things and you often find you obsess over them until they’re yours. Remember: being hell-bent on an idea, situation or endeavour might be your greatest downfall. Obsession can only lead to unhealthy relationships, addiction, and dependence.

16 - The Tower

The Tower symbolises sudden and tragic changes. You find that your life isn’t stable and it is often shaken up on a regular basis. You dream about stability, about calm and tranquillity, yet it never seems to come. If you’re not changing job, you’re moving house or breaking up with your significant other. It’s one thing after another with you. You need to learn to accept the new experiences that life throws at you and accept that you won’t be able to control everything. The energy of the tower is dramatic and powerful, so even though it feels like your life never settles down, at least you know it will never be boring. Remember: Everything has a silver lining. With new experiences comes new understandings – you’re going to be incredibly wise and nothing will ever faze you.

17 - The Star

The Star represents hope and faith, and a sense that the Universe is looking over you. You are a romantic, optimistic and perhaps a little dreamy. You accept new phases of your life with a calm energy and mental stability as you know you will get through it in the end, perhaps because you believe you are being watched over and protected by a higher power. You’re someone who uplifts and inspires those around, you bring a fresh, bright energy to any room you’re in and people love you for this. Forgiving and forgetting is a natural way of life for you as you know it simply won’t matter in the long run, but don’t allow your faith and dreaminess to allow you drift off and become unreachable. You’re beautiful, inside and out, with an open-heart and generosity to spare. Remember: not everyone is as giving as you. Some will take without giving, and you may find yourself wrung out because of it.

18 - The Moon

The Moon often symbolises illusions and mystery. As such, you are someone that many people don’t quite understand. You have a completely unique look on the world; you are artistic and creative in how you approach tasks, and you seem to tread a path that others can’t see. You have very strong highs, for example when you like something you completely and utterly love it, but you have just as strong lows, and these can seem devastating. You may seem a little uninhibited sometimes, wild and free and willing to give in to your baser instincts. You can pull people in and your energy and spirit seem infectious. To others, this can seem overwhelming and confusing, and this might cause some to dub you as ‘strange’. Remember: just because others misunderstand, that doesn’t mean you aren’t right. It might take some time or explaining before others truly see your vision of the world.

19 - The Sun

The Sun symbolises fun, warmth and positivity. It should come as no surprise that you embody the same traits. You are blessed with the ability to love life to its fullest and to find the fun and the silver lining even in the most difficult of times. You bring energy to all situations and, due to your confidence and enthusiasm, it’s often infectious. You may find yourself at the centre of attention more often than not. People seem to orbit you, loving you and worshipping you, but don’t let that go to your head. Whilst having a huge group of adoring fans may seem like the ultimate goal, you may find it difficult to find your true friends. After all, there are some people in this world that are nothing but leeches in disguise. They will take your warmth from you and leave you drained and broken, lying on the floor. Remember: don’t allow the people who wish to bask in your warmth encourage you to gain delusions of grandeur. The higher you soar, the further you have to fall and fall you will.

20 - Judgement

Judgement represents a calling to something higher, something holier. You need to learn how to take the high road if you haven’t already done so. Grudges, resentment, failings, addictions, it should all become a thing of the past. Overcoming those things which have been pulling you down means you are, in a sense, reborn. Letting go means you can become the new you that you were always meant to be. There will always be something that calls to you, something that comes above all else, and you’re going to dedicate yourself it, be it religion, human rights, overcoming addiction or any other walk of life. Your determination allows you to walk the talk, to take action to accomplish and live up to the high standards you have set. Embrace it and follow your path without fear or doubt. You have the courage, perseverance, and determination to complete your goal in life and fulfil your life’s purpose. Remember: don’t be tempted to unfairly judge those who don’t see eye to eye with you. Use your knowledge and passion to teach, not condemn.

21 - The World

The World symbolises victory over obstacles. You are excellent at following your plans and seeing them through until they reach their completion. Your dreams have a way of coming true and you can always find the solutions to your problems. However, you may have a tendency to start a hundred different projects and spread yourself too thin – you’ll still get things finished, after all that’s what you’re all about, but it might near kill you to do it. Remember: even if you can do it all, doesn’t mean you should, especially not all at the same time. Concentrating on one of two things will reap better rewards.

Remember, this is just my own interpretation of the cards, yours may be slightly or completely different to mine. Use your own intuition and judgement.

#Tarot #tarot cards #divination #numerology #Magic #magick #witch #witchcraft #witchblr

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thefoxdenrp · 4 years ago

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Who Am I?

Openness: 8% Your low level of openness suggests that you draw your strength from tradition and familiarity. You are down to earth and prefer clear, straightforward direction to abstract or theoretical thinking.

Conscientiousness: 69% You are good at thinking through your actions before acting on an impulse. This helps you to avoid unnecessary stress or trouble, but it can also lead to workaholic and perfectionist extremes.

Extraversion: 27% Your low level of extraversion suggests you are likely to be more reserved than other people, enjoy time alone and value maintaining strong relationships with a few close friends.

Agreeableness: 0% You have a healthy sense of skepticism, and a strong resolve. You don’t shy away from making those tough decisions which can’t please everyone but still need to be made.

Neuroticism: 97% You are emotionally reactive and prone to react intensely to events with feelings that linger for some time. This can affect your ability to think clearly or cope with change and stress.

OUTLOOK: Realist Realists like to think they see things the way they really are. But it’s important to remember that everyone sees the world differently. You might tend to keep a level head, and don’t excite easily, but this can leave you susceptible to bouts of gloominess. If you feel yourself moving towards a negative emotional extreme, try looking to other people for fresh perspectives.

CHARACTER: Driven Driven people tend to be concerned primarily with their own needs and desires. They are prepared to work hard on achieving them and always keep their eyes on the prize. You may fall into this category if your single-mindedness sometimes means that you can easily become uninterested in other people if you don’t think they’ll be able to help you achieve your own goals.

SELF-CONTROL: Impulsive You’re usually able to keep things under control but sometimes anger can sneak up on you and take over very quickly. And when it does it feels natural to express it pretty directly. It’s important to think not just about how your anger makes you feel, but how it makes other people feel too. It’s also important - even if it doesn’t seem so in the heat of the moment - to learn when it’s best just to walk away from a situation.

COMPOSURE: Perfectionist Perfectionists are likely to exert a lot of control over themselves and the world around them. They focus on even the smallest details and want everything to be just right. This is a great attitude to have, but if it’s taken to the extreme it can lead to some distress - setting yourself unrealistic goals can lead to feelings of guilt and self-recrimination.

TASTE: Homebody You’re very content in your own world, or in the company of a select few other people. People who share this characteristic enjoy simple pleasures in life, and are more likely to look for excitement and adventure in their own heads than by heading out into the wilderness for thrills.

SOCIABILITY: Master People with this characteristic can sometimes be a bit competitive when interacting with other people. Also, they value their privacy and sense of respect very highly, so can come across as quite distant and closed off figures. If you recognize this trait in yourself it’s important to think about the different ways of getting what you want from people, and giving them what they want too.

ACTION: Methodical Methodical people know how to concentrate on any task they’re set and keep focus on it to completion - so focused in fact that it’s impossible to distract them. Your slow and steady approach may frustrate some people, but their concerns will always be allayed when you deliver your work on time and on spec.

ATTITUDE: Disciplined People with disciplined attitudes have strong and firm beliefs about things like society and morality. For them, there is a right way of doing things and a proper way to behave, so they support firm discipline when people step out of line. It sounds like you follow the rules and you expect everyone else to follow them as well.

PROCESS: Organizers Organizers tend to be extremely methodical and diligent in their approach to work. They like to stick to the rules of the game, but this can mean that they lack imagination and creative flair at times. You may prefer structured learning to free thinking and like to have a clear sense of the start, middle and - crucially - end of a project.

RESILIENCE: Headstrong Headstrong people might seem like they’re bulletproof, but deep down they can actually be quite risk averse. As a result, rather than confront difficult situations or worries for fear of what might happen, they might prefer to bury their heads in the sand. This may work in the short term, but you know that problems don’t always disappear just by being ignored.

#Headcanon [Male Kin]

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madidailytarot · 7 years ago

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8.12.17 Mid-Shuffle Message: The Chariot VII Card Key Ideas: Victory, self-assertion, willpower, hard control, achieving goals, success, winning, domination, strong will, triumph, confidence, inner warrior, achievement, self control, discipline, dedication, taking control, harnessing power, determination, sustained effort, concentration of energy, focus of intent, rising above temptation, faith in oneself, curbing impulses, assuming authority, travel, progress, journey, promotion, evolution, ambition, empowerment Q: What can I do to better manifest the spirit and energy of The Chariot? A: The Empress III Card Key Ideas: Experience the senses, nurture others, express tenderness, cherish the world, care for people, nourish, enjoy extravagance, welcome abundance, receive rewards, luxuriate, feel rich, give and receive pleasure, focus on the body, appreciate beauty, feel vibrant and healthy, do physical activity, embrace nature, connect with the Earth, harmonize yourself with the world Q: How can I better understand this reading? A: The Fool 0 Card Key Ideas: Enter a new phase, strike out on a new path, expand horizons, start something new, begin an adventure, go on a journey, explore passions, head into the unknown, be spontaneous, live in the moment, do the unexpected, feel uninhibited, feel carefree, live joyfully, believe, let go of worries, remain open, have faith, take a chance, be true to yourself, follow your heart, pursue your dreams

#tarot of the day #tarot journal #tarot spread #tarot #the chariot #the empress #the fool #crystals #witchblr #tarot reading #tarot cards #the Wild unknown

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bisoroblog · 6 years ago

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How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger

Back in the 1960s, a Harvard graduate student made a landmark discovery about the nature of human anger.

At age 34, Jean Briggs traveled above the Arctic Circle and lived out on the tundra for 17 months. There were no roads, no heating systems, no grocery stores. Winter temperatures could easily dip below minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit.

Briggs persuaded an Inuit family to “adopt” her and “try to keep her alive,” as the anthropologist wrote in 1970.

At the time, many Inuit families lived similar to the way their ancestors had for thousands of years. They built igloos in the winter and tents in the summer. “And we ate only what the animals provided, such as fish, seal and caribou,” says Myna Ishulutak, a film producer and language teacher who lived a similar lifestyle as a young girl.

Briggs quickly realized something remarkable was going on in these families: The adults had an extraordinary ability to control their anger.

“They never acted in anger toward me, although they were angry with me an awful lot,” Briggs told the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. in an interview.

For more than 30 years, the Inuit welcomed anthropologist Jean Briggs into their lives so she could study how they raise their children. Briggs is pictured during a 1974 visit to Baffin Island. (Jean Briggs Collection / American Philosophical Society)

Even just showing a smidgen of frustration or irritation was considered weak and childlike, Briggs observed.

For instance, one time someone knocked a boiling pot of tea across the igloo, damaging the ice floor. No one changed their expression. “Too bad,” the offender said calmly and went to refill the teapot.

In another instance, a fishing line — which had taken days to braid — immediately broke on the first use. No one flinched in anger. “Sew it together,” someone said quietly.

By contrast, Briggs seemed like a wild child, even though she was trying very hard to control her anger. “My ways were so much cruder, less considerate and more impulsive,” she told the CBC. “[I was] often impulsive in an antisocial sort of way. I would sulk or I would snap or I would do something that they never did.”

Briggs, who died in 2016, wrote up her observations in her first book, Never in Anger. But she was left with a lingering question: How do Inuit parents instill this ability in their children? How do Inuit take tantrum-prone toddlers and turn them into cool-headed adults?

Then in 1971, Briggs found a clue.

She was walking on a stony beach in the Arctic when she saw a young mother playing with her toddler — a little boy about 2 years old. The mom picked up a pebble and said, “‘Hit me! Go on. Hit me harder,'” Briggs remembered.

The boy threw the rock at his mother, and she exclaimed, “Ooooww. That hurts!”

Briggs was completely befuddled. The mom seemed to be teaching the child the opposite of what parents want. And her actions seemed to contradict everything Briggs knew about Inuit culture.

“I thought, ‘What is going on here?’ ” Briggs said in the radio interview.

Turns out, the mom was executing a powerful parenting tool to teach her child how to control his anger — and one of the most intriguing parenting strategies I’ve come across.

Iqaluit, pictured in winter, is the capital of the Canadian territory of Nunavut. (Johan Hallberg-Campbell for NPR)

No scolding, no timeouts

It’s early December in the Arctic town of Iqaluit, Canada. And at 2 p.m., the sun is already calling it a day. Outside, the temperature is a balmy minus 10 degrees Fahrenheit. A light snow is swirling.

I’ve come to this seaside town, after reading Briggs’ book, in search of parenting wisdom, especially when it comes to teaching children to control their emotions. Right off the plane, I start collecting data.

I sit with elders in their 80s and 90s while they lunch on “country food” —stewed seal, frozen beluga whale and raw caribou. I talk with moms selling hand-sewn sealskin jackets at a high school craft fair. And I attend a parenting class, where day care instructors learn how their ancestors raised small children hundreds — perhaps even thousands — of years ago.

The elders of Iqaluit have lunch at the local senior center. On Thursdays, what they call “country food” is on the menu, things like caribou, seal and ptarmigan. (Johan Hallberg-Campbell for NPR)

Across the board, all the moms mention one golden rule: Don’t shout or yell at small children.

Traditional Inuit parenting is incredibly nurturing and tender. If you took all the parenting styles around the world and ranked them by their gentleness, the Inuit approach would likely rank near the top. (They even have a special kiss for babies, where you put your nose against the cheek and sniff the skin.)

The culture views scolding — or even speaking to children in an angry voice — as inappropriate, says Lisa Ipeelie, a radio producer and mom who grew up with 12 siblings. “When they’re little, it doesn’t help to raise your voice,” she says. “It will just make your own heart rate go up.”

Even if the child hits you or bites you, there’s no raising your voice?

“No,” Ipeelie says with a giggle that seems to emphasize how silly my question is. “With little kids, you often think they’re pushing your buttons, but that’s not what’s going on. They’re upset about something, and you have to figure out what it is.”

Traditionally, the women and children in the community eat with an ulu knife. (Johan Hallberg-Campbell for NPR)

Traditionally, the Inuit saw yelling at a small child as demeaning. It’s as if the adult is having a tantrum; it’s basically stooping to the level of the child, Briggs documented.

Elders I spoke with say intense colonization over the past century is damaging these traditions. And, so, the community is working hard to keep the parenting approach intact.

Goota Jaw is at the front line of this effort. She teaches the parenting class at the Arctic College. Her own parenting style is so gentle that she doesn’t even believe in giving a child a timeout for misbehaving.

“Shouting, ‘Think about what you just did. Go to your room!’ ” Jaw says. “I disagree with that. That’s not how we teach our children. Instead you are just teaching children to run away.”

And you are teaching them to be angry, says clinical psychologist and author Laura Markham. “When we yell at a child — or even threaten with something like ‘I’m starting to get angry,’ we’re training the child to yell,” says Markham. “We’re training them to yell when they get upset and that yelling solves problems.”

In contrast, parents who control their own anger are helping their children learn to do the same, Markham says. “Kids learn emotional regulation from us.”

I asked Markham if the Inuit’s no-yelling policy might be their first secret of raising cool-headed kids. “Absolutely,” she says.

Playing soccer with your head

Now at some level, all moms and dads know they shouldn’t yell at kids. But if you don’t scold or talk in an angry tone, how do you discipline? How do you keep your 3-year-old from running into the road? Or punching her big brother?

For thousands of years, the Inuit have relied on an ancient tool with an ingenious twist: “We use storytelling to discipline,” Jaw says.

Jaw isn’t talking about fairy tales, where a child needs to decipher the moral. These are oral stories passed down from one generation of Inuit to the next, designed to sculpt kids’ behaviors in the moment. Sometimes even save their lives.

For example, how do you teach kids to stay away from the ocean, where they could easily drown? Instead of yelling, “Don’t go near the water!” Jaw says Inuit parents take a pre-emptive approach and tell kids a special story about what’s inside the water. “It’s the sea monster,” Jaw says, with a giant pouch on its back just for little kids.

“If a child walks too close to the water, the monster will put you in his pouch, drag you down to the ocean and adopt you out to another family,” Jaw says.

“Then we don’t need to yell at a child,” Jaw says, “because she is already getting the message.”

Inuit parents have an array of stories to help children learn respectful behavior, too. For example, to get kids to listen to their parents, there is a story about ear wax, says film producer Myna Ishulutak.

“My parents would check inside our ears, and if there was too much wax in there, it meant we were not listening,” she says.

And parents tell their kids: If you don’t ask before taking food, long fingers could reach out and grab you, Ishulutak says.

Inuit parents tell their children to beware of the northern lights. If you don’t wear your hat in the winter, they’ll say, the lights will come, take your head and use it as a soccer ball! (Johan Hallberg-Campbell for NPR)

Then there’s the story of northern lights, which helps kids learn to keep their hats on in the winter.

“Our parents told us that if we went out without a hat, the northern lights are going to take your head off and use it as a soccer ball,” Ishulutak says. “We used to be so scared!” she exclaims and then erupts in laughter.

At first, these stories seemed to me a bit too scary for little children. And my knee-jerk reaction was to dismiss them. But my opinion flipped 180 degrees after I watched my own daughter’s response to similar tales — and after I learned more about humanity’s intricate relationship with storytelling.

Oral storytelling is what’s known as a human universal. For tens of thousands of years, it has been a key way that parents teach children about values and how to behave.

Modern hunter-gatherer groups use stories to teach sharing, respect for both genders and conflict avoidance, a recent study reported, after analyzing 89 different tribes. With the Agta, a hunter-gatherer population of the Philippines, good storytelling skills are prized more than hunting skills or medicinal knowledge, the study found.

Today many American parents outsource their oral storytelling to screens. And in doing so, I wonder if we’re missing out on an easy — and effective — way of disciplining and changing behavior. Could small children be somehow “wired” to learn through stories?

Inuit parenting is gentle and tender. They even have a special kiss for kids called kunik. (Above) Maata Jaw gives her daughter the nose-to-cheek Inuit sniff. (Johan Hallberg-Campbell for NPR)

“Well, I’d say kids learn well through narrative and explanations,” says psychologist Deena Weisberg at Villanova University, who studies how small children interpret fiction. “We learn best through things that are interesting to us. And stories, by their nature, can have lots of things in them that are much more interesting in a way that bare statements don’t.”

Stories with a dash of danger pull in kids like magnets, Weisberg says. And they turn a tension-ridden activity like disciplining into a playful interaction that’s — dare, I say it — fun.

“Don’t discount the playfulness of storytelling,” Weisberg says. “With stories, kids get to see stuff happen that doesn’t really happen in real life. Kids think that’s fun. Adults think it’s fun, too.”

Inuit filmmaker and language teacher Myna Ishulutak as a little girl. Anthropologist Jean Briggs spent six months with the family in the 1970s documenting the child��s upbringing. (Jean Briggs Collection / American Philosophical Society)

Why don’t you hit me?

Back up in Iqaluit, Myna Ishulutak is reminiscing about her childhood out on the land. She and her family lived in a hunting camp with about 60 other people. When she was a teenager, her family settled in a town.

“I miss living on the land so much,” she says as we eat a dinner of baked Arctic char. “We lived in a sod house. And when we woke up in the morning, everything would be frozen until we lit the oil lamp.”

I ask her if she’s familiar with the work of Jean Briggs. Her answer leaves me speechless.

Ishulutak reaches into her purse and brings out Briggs’ second book, Inuit Morality Play, which details the life of a 3-year-old girl dubbed Chubby Maata.

“This book is about me and my family,” Ishulutak says. “I am Chubby Maata.”

In the early 1970s, when Ishulutak was about 3 years old, her family welcomed Briggs into their home for six months and allowed her to study the intimate details of their child’s day-to-day life.

Myna Ishulutak today in Iqaluit, Canada. As the mother of two grown boys, she says, “When you’re shouting at them all the time they tend to kind of block you. So there’s a saying: ‘Never shout at them.’ “ (Johan Hallberg-Campbell for NPR)

What Briggs documented is a central component to raising cool-headed kids.

When a child in the camp acted in anger — hit someone or had a tantrum — there was no punishment. Instead, the parents waited for the child to calm down and then, in a peaceful moment, did something that Shakespeare would understand all too well: They put on a drama. (As the Bard once wrote, “the play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king.”)

“The idea is to give the child experiences that will lead the child to develop rational thinking,” Briggs told the CBC in 2011.

In a nutshell, the parent would act out what happened when the child misbehaved, including the real-life consequences of that behavior.

The parent always had a playful, fun tone. And typically the performance starts with a question, tempting the child to misbehave.

For example, if the child is hitting others, the mom may start a drama by asking: “Why don’t you hit me?”

Then the child has to think: “What should I do?” If the child takes the bait and hits the mom, she doesn’t scold or yell but instead acts out the consequences. “Ow, that hurts!” she might exclaim.

The mom continues to emphasize the consequences by asking a follow-up question. For example: “Don’t you like me?” or “Are you a baby?” She is getting across the idea that hitting hurts people’s feelings, and “big girls” wouldn’t hit. But, again, all questions are asked with a hint of playfulness.

The parent repeats the drama from time to time until the child stops hitting the mom during the dramas and the misbehavior ends.

Ishulutak says these dramas teach children not to be provoked easily. “They teach you to be strong emotionally,” she says, “to not take everything so seriously or to be scared of teasing.”

Psychologist Peggy Miller, at the University of Illinois, agrees: “When you’re little, you learn that people will provoke you, and these dramas teach you to think and maintain some equilibrium.”

In other words, the dramas offer kids a chance to practice controlling their anger, Miller says, during times when they’re not actually angry.

This practice is likely critical for children learning to control their anger. Because here’s the thing about anger: Once someone is already angry, it is not easy for that person to squelch it — even for adults.

“When you try to control or change your emotions in the moment, that’s a really hard thing to do,” says Lisa Feldman Barrett, a psychologist at Northeastern University who studies how emotions work.

But if you practice having a different response or a different emotion at times when you’re not angry, you’ll have a better chance of managing your anger in those hot-button moments, Feldman Barrett says.

“That practice is essentially helping to rewire your brain to be able to make a different emotion [besides anger] much more easily,” she says.

This emotional practice may be even more important for children, says psychologist Markham, because kids’ brains are still developing the circuitry needed for self-control.

“Children have all kinds of big emotions,” she says. “They don’t have much prefrontal cortex yet. So what we do in responding to our child’s emotions shapes their brain.”

A lot has changed in the Arctic since the Canadian government forced Inuit families to settle in towns. But the community is trying to preserve traditional parenting practices. (Johan Hallberg-Campbell for NPR)

Markham recommends an approach close to that used by Inuit parents. When the kid misbehaves, she suggests, wait until everyone is calm. Then in a peaceful moment, go over what happened with the child. You can simply tell them the story about what occurred or use two stuffed animals to act it out.

“Those approaches develop self-control,” Markham says.

Just be sure you do two things when you replay the misbehavior, she says. First, keep the child involved by asking many questions. For example, if the child has a hitting problem, you might stop midway through the puppet show and ask,”Bobby, wants to hit right now. Should he?”

Second, be sure to keep it fun. Many parents overlook play as a tool for discipline, Markham says. But fantasy play offers oodles of opportunities to teach children proper behavior.

“Play is their work,” Markham says. “That’s how they learn about the world and about their experiences.”

Which seems to be something the Inuit have known for hundreds, perhaps even, thousands of years.

Myna Ishulutak (upper right, in blue jacket) lived a seminomadic life as a child. Above: photos of the girl and her family in the hunting camp of Qipisa during the summer of 1974. (Jean Briggs Collection / American Philosophical Society)

Share Your Tips

How do you get your kids to do things without yelling or shouting? Or, how did your parents get you to do things without yelling or scolding? Share your advice, tips and stories, and we may include them in a story for NPR.

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perfectzablog · 6 years ago