#i hated his brotherhood outfit at first but now i actually adore it

[kingoftheladybugs]

Lego Monkie Kid gripped me by the throat yet again. Not actually shaded anything on my computer in like a year but l actually had fun with this

[magic-multicolored-miracle]

The Witcher S3 Ep 3: Reunion AKA 🎵Everyyyyybody Huuuuuurts🎵

I think the metaphor might be getting away from you a bit

I really like her outfit. It is my kind of look

I love that Jaskier calls him "Firefingers." It's very in line with Yen's (and my) "Firefucker." And asshole doesn't deserve a name.

Sorry did you say "a friend of your mother's"?!

Aww, the adorant whisper. Because it's once again proved that Geralt is a big old softie.

Wait, that's news? I assumed she had been for a while (tbh I thought the ditching Geralt was to protect him from something or someone that was going to kill her)

So someone else did exactly what the two information brokers said Geralt should, with added mind altering...was the suggestion meant to be a tip off, since they knew he wouldn't take it in the first place?

I really like Philippa's outfit for this meeting, and the fact that it is very clearly Not Matching the general Redanian aesthetic. The costume department this season is really Killing It. (Interestingly, it is matching, or at least similar to Jaskier's...)

He does seem stressed. His poor head is going to explode. I wonder whose fault that is?

Radovid, baby, that's not a very good attempt at hiding.

Oh it was on purpose for The Drama™ I love that

This is quite the Reason You Suck speech, Yennefer. Are you actually trying to get back into the Brotherhood's, or Tissaia's good graces at all? Part of me hopes not, honestly

Oh 💔 I mean, we knew that. But the look on Yen's face hearing it out loud...

Fabio, you're there to chaperone a teenage girl at a market, not barker like a hotdog on a street corner 🙄

How did that secret get out? Was it Yennefer? I bet it was Yennefer

I like that the captions specify it's to the tune of The Wild Rover. Otherwise I'd have heard it and gone nuts. (That song was the bane of my existence last fall.)

Istredd, my friend. You're looking Rough. But it...kinda works for you?

That's. Not ideal...

Poor General Kicked-Puppy, I'm glad he gets an invite home, even though home is not a good place...

"Prove it" doesn't sound good. There's an implied threat in "prove it"

Always with the leaning, Jaskier (and with the unbuttoned vest, it's peak casual yet slutty or maybe that's just the bard wearing it)

He's not wrong but also I hate him for saying it. I don't like that.

I think this might be the longest and most frank conversation these two have ever had. 10/10 relationship growth

Well shit. Stregobitch? Or Vilgefortz?

Uh. What?

Double "well shit". Or hopefully just almost. But I have a bad feeling about Anika's fate...

I love Ciri just strolling in behind the barker's back without paying or being challenged

Who are these two? They feel important

Go Fabio!

Can we form a secondary party of these youngins? I think I like them. And maybe recruit Dara back, eventually. (That would basically just be your average D&D party but that's not a negative)

Dammit Sabrina. Why are you a bitch? Didn't Yennefer almost die saving your fucking life from Nilfgaard?

My babies! Stop hurting each other! You both need hugs, stat!

Oh look, and now Geralt's hurting too.

Oh shit. I didn't expect the Queen to die. That's a ballsy move Philippa. But a solid way to make sure your king doesn't ever trust Nilfgaard, if it works.

Was Dijkstra in on it though? I'm not sure...

Radovid. Do NOT call a sneaky murdering bastard out on being a sneaky murdering bastard WHILE YOU ARE ALONE IN A ROOM WITH HIM! I swear to god, if you get yourself killed...(I know it doesn't happen yet, but that doesn't mean it won't later)

I don't like that almost-smile from Firefucker. Whatever his demand is, it isn't going to be fun...

Good to see Francesca getting back to her roots (and doting husband Filavandrel is pretty nice) but I have the uncomfortable feeling she'll get her wish...

You seem on edge Cahir. What are you about to do?

Well, rip. I was just starting to like that guy. But why?

Running away, completely alone. Seems like a bad plan even for Ciri, so I'm going to guess this is a dream...

Eredin? Why do I know that name? [Oh, cus I actually watched Blood Origin. I didn't think I retained anyone's name, but I guess I did]

Is Ciri's appearance and her being "death itself" a play on the whole "death came riding on a pale horse" or whatever it is? Or coincidence?

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1981

The X-Men, those back-to-the-future mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(Uncanny X-Men 141 - 152) - by Chris Claremont and John Byrne, Brent Anderson, Dave Cockrum, Jim Sherman, Bob McLeod and Josef Rubinstein

While I also committed various fashion atrocities at the age of 14 (tye-die and fauxhawks, oh my), even Liberace would find Kitty’s outfits too much. (Uncanny X-Men 149; Uncanny X-Men Annual ‘81)

We dial back from the v. epic scope of the last few arcs. Instead, 1981 is just a lot of fun! We get:

Storm and Emma doing a Freaky Friday!

the X-Men vs. Magneto (again!)

A surprisingly effective Alien rip-off

An dystopian future! (OoOoOoOo)

Last year was the year of the Dark Phoenix, this is the year of Kitty Pryde. That’s not to say Jean’s death is swept under the rug: all throughout, we see her friends mourning her loss or remembering her fondly. (Scott even gets to have a demonic adventure about it.) But in general, Claremont puts Kitty in the forefront, fleshing out his YA-addition to the team. And what would a YA heroine be without a grim dystopia? Roll out the iconic Days of Future Past!

To be fair, 2013 was a dark time for all of us: What Does the Fox Say somehow got to the top of the charts and I was still watching Glee. (Uncanny X-Men 141)

How cool would it have been to see a name like Jonothon Starsmore or Eva Bell on those tombstones?

Anyway, that’s Kate. Kate’s had it rough. Mutants are at the bottom of the foodchain, most X-Men are dead and only a small cadre of resistance fighters remain, Sentinels dominate, and while she is married to Piotr, her children have been murdered. Bleak. Luckily, the rebellion has concocted the plan to shunt Kate’s spirit back in time to prevent this awful future from happening. (You’ve seen Days of Future Past, the last passably good X-Men film, you know what’s up.)

Let’s do the time warp again! 1981!Kitty’s mind gets taken over by 2013!Kitty, who promptly tries to convince the X-Men that a new Brotherhood of v. Evil Mutants will try to kill Senator Kelly, a presidential candidate who tries to put the mutant menace on the agenda. (Mutants tend to blow stuff up when he’s around.) Since the X-Men recently took a literal trip to Dante’s Infero and also befriended a cosmic world-ending entity, they basically shrug and go: “Yeah, this checks out.”

Off to Washington they go (zoommm) and there, they happen upon the Baddest Bitches in Herstory:

“How dare you hate mutants, senator Kelly! We’ll fix that by killing you!” (Uncanny X-Men 141)

This All-New, All-Different Brotherhood consists out of:

Destiny, a blind woman who can see the future. Definitely the eeriest member of this group. Badass lesbian, though that won´t be canon for years.

Avalanche. Greek who makes things shake. Is a long-standing member of the X-Men Rogue’s gallery, but rarely features in the spotlight. I think he got more characterization in four years of X-Men Evolution than he ever did in the comics.

Mystique. Shapeshifter. Ruthless and unhinged, the Cersei Lannister of the X-Men universe. Absolute legend, secretly the wife of Destiny, currently not as unhinged as she’ll be later. Immediately implied to be related to Nightcrawler: it’s the yellow-eyes-blue-skin-combo.

Pyro. Can manipulate fire, not create it. Absolute pillock, in all the best ways of the word. Originally intended as gay, but they decided to make him Australian instead. (?!)

Blob. Big, strong, immovable. We’ve seen him before.

One of the details in this fight I enjoy is that Storm is still struggling with her leadership, although she has a better grip on things than Cyclops:

Wolverine then proceeds to use those iconic but deadly claws about twice per issue for the next, oh, forty years. (Uncanny X-Men 142)

While the X-Men fight the Brotherhood in the present, we cut back and forth to the future. There, the X-Men consist out of some familiar faces - Storm, Colossus, Wolverine - and some surprises: Magneto (in a wheelchair), Franklin Richards (son of) and an unfamiliar ginger girl called Rachel. (She’ll be important later.) We even learn (one of) Magneto’s names: this is the first time he’s canonically called Magnus.

One of the strengths of Days of Future Past lies in its brevity, the way it tantalizingly taunts us with a brutal but familiar future without giving away too much. It’s single-handedly responsible for all those dark future timelines the X-lines are so fond of which will eventually culminate in time-displaced grandsons from alternative dimensions and the impossibility of a succinct answer to the question: “Who’s Cable?” Too much of a good thing and all that.

Still, what Days of Future Past does so successfully is:

Put the idea of the mutant menace back at the forefront, hammering home the metaphor of mutants being a minority. Mutants being put in camps and being forbidden to breed should - regretfully - make us think of all too many real life equivalents. (Specifically, all of the imagery harkens back to the Holocaust.)

It starkly shows what happens should the X-Men lose, reminding everyone of the stakes. The X-Men are here for a reason: bridging the gap between mutants and humankind. If they fuck up, we end up with mutant concentration camps.

It helps that the X-Men in the future almost all die horribly: Franklin is incinerated, Storm is impaled… It's brutal stuff. The only one to survive is Rachel, who wonders if their plan actually changed the future or if they created an alternative timeline. (It did the latter, sorry ‘bout it, Rachel.)

In the present, Kate chases after Destiny, who trains a gun on senator Kelly. I always wondered how this works: if Destiny saw the future, she knew that killing Kelly would trigger a terrifying future. What in the current Marvel timeline made her decide that the Days of Future Past was better? Did she see her own death? Did she see the Onslaught-crossover coming? The Chuck Austen run? What was it?

In any case, time-anomalous Kate stops Destiny from killing Kelly and the future is safe! For now. Kate disappears, Kitty returns to her body and some of the Brotherhood are apprehended. All is well, for now.

After being a key figure in DoFP, Kitty is also the main character in the Christmas special, which is basically a straight up horror and a pastiche of the Alien-movie.

Seriously, John Byrne still isn’t sure why he wasn’t sued by Ridley Scott for this. (Uncanny X-Men 143)

If you love Kitty Pryde? Read this issue. If you’re not convinced you like 80’s Kitty? Read this issue. It’s not continuity relevant and it’s basically Kitty playing the part of a Final Girl in a horror where she’s being chased by a demon, but it’s so good. It showcases all her strengths and her foibles. Kitty’s intelligent, cute (sometimes preciously so) and brave, but she’s also young, self-conscious and hot-headed. And it's not as if the other X-Men automatically adore her: Storm berates her all the time, she’s afraid of Kurt because of the way he looks (though she grows out of that) and she fights with Professor Xavier a lot. Moreover, she has a clever power-set for a young superhero who faces menaces on a daily basis: a thirteen year old who can go intangible is far less likely to have reality ensue on her and be dramatically offed because she's better at protecting herself.

I’m sure there are people who thought Sprite was hogging the spotlight, but I, for one, say she brings more to the table than, say, Angel. She’s not the Dawn Summers of this franchise.

Scott also gets a side quest. Poor guy can’t catch a break: first the love of his life dies, so he quits the X-Men, then he realizes he can’t do much else than be a superhero. He becomes a sailor on the ship of spunky captain Lee Forrester, is drawn into the sadistic plans of a demon unironically named D’Spayre and then shipwrecks in Bermuda with Lee.

The X-Men, meanwhile, are tormented by a team-up of Doom (who’s currently Latverialess and working on a comeback) and Arcade, that annoying crony. Locke, Arcade’s dom, has kidnapped the loved ones of the X-Men (Moira MacTaggart, Jean Grey’s parents, Illyana Rasputin and Amanda Sefton) in order to blackmail them into getting Doom to free Arcade. Apparently, Arcade accidentally insulted Doom and DOOM DOES NOT FORGIVE THAT FOLLY.

While the B-Squad (Polaris, Havok, Banshee and Iceman) goes to save Arcade’s hostages, the X-Men sneak into Doom’s castle. Well, except for Storm, who doesn’t give a single fuck and simply flies up to Doom, demanding an audience. Doom likes the cut of her jib and invites her to have dinner. (This is pre-Tinder, so this is a legit way of scoring a date.)

If Storm has a flaw (I said if!), it’s got to be her atrocious taste in men. (Uncanny X-Men 145)

The X-Men find Arcade’s cell empty, while Arcade casually saunters up to Storm and says hi. Storm realizes too late that this is a trap: while the X-Men are all trapped in Saw-like traps, Storm is encased in ‘living chrome’.

If you remember she’s claustrophobic, you know why this is a bad move.

While the X-Men free themselves from their traps - Polaris hilariously has to deal with a murderous merry-go-round - Storm is slowly driven mad in her prison, triggering a worldwide tempest. (She causes Lee and Scott to shipwreck.) Under the threat of Wolverine’s claws, Doom releases Storm - or rather, unleashes her.

“Instead of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Tempestuous as the sea, and stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and despair!” (Uncanny X-Men 147)

The memory of Jean brings Ororo back to herself and she starts undoing the superstorm she created. (If only climate change were reversed that easily.) Their confrontation ends by Storm easily forgiving Doom, because she apparently trespassed on his grounds without adequate cause.

Mkay.

All of Arcade’s hostages return to their homesteads, except for Illyana Rasputin, Piotr’s sister: she’s staying at the mansion for a while. Angel, who’s sort of been a part of the team since the Phoenix thing, has had it with Wolverine and his ‘tude, and decides to quit the X-Men : he doesn’t want to be a part of an outfit that has a killer like Wolverine on it. (Or maybe he’s just mad Claremont didn’t give him any storylines: his presence has been mostly pointless.) It’s too bad he left before Kitty started experimenting with her outfits: I bet he would have loved her ugly-ass costumes.

Equally inconsequential is the introduction of a brand new character, who then proceeds to disappear from the narrative for the rest of the year:

Black Tom has tried to kill you at least twice, but him sending you a long-lost daughter doesn’t give you pause? Ugh, Sean, you deserve Moira. (Uncanny X-Men 148)

Intrigued by Theresa? TOO BAD, WON’T SEE HER AGAIN ANYTIME SOON.

Another new character is the lonely, decidedly mutant looking Caliban, who can sense “people like him” and is on the lookout for companions. Like many lonely people who try and grasp at friendship, he decides to overshoot his shot and ruin the night of Storm, Kitty and Jessica Drew at a Dazzler concert. Because he tries to kidnap Kitty, the girls react a trifle aggressively. When they realize their mistake - the eerily pale Caliban is a simpleton rather than a menace - he’s already fled. No mention is made of the Morlocks yet!

There’s also another dull annual where the X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four to save Arkon’s dimension from the Badoon and yaaaaawn. Far more interesting is the landmark issue #150. Slowly, through the adventures of Scott and Lee Forrester, Claremont has been setting things up for the return of a favorite villain. While the X-Men investigate Magneto’s old base in Antarctica on a hunch of Professor X and tangle with Garruk, Scott and Lee survive Storm’s tempest, only to wake up next to a strange island that seems to have been raised from the ocean.

It’s apparently some ancient citadel from a long forgotten civilization with a fondness for squid statues. (I don’t know man, I’ve never been to the Bermuda Triangle, maybe this is just super-accurate.)The tentacles make Lee Forrester feel very amorous, but before Scott can tell her he is way too repressed to just have sex with an attractive someone he’s known intimately for a month or two, Magneto saves his ass by revealing he, in fact, raised this island from the seafloor.

Oh, Magneto. So extra.

My ambitious little mutant demagogue then proceeds to take the entire world hostage, showing how much he’s grown from the pompous, raving madman from the sixties. (Sure, Magneto is still a bit of a madman, but increasingly, he starts being on the right side of history.)

“I’m trying to make Magneto more sympathetic.”

“Just put him on a page with some bigger villains who are less noble, like the Vanisher, Count Nefaria, or…”

“Reagan, Thatcher and Brezhnov?”

“Er.” (Uncanny X-Men 150)

It’s obvious Magneto is being pivoted as a more noble villain, codified into the well-intentioned extremist we know and love today. Not only do we get the first hints at his past, fleshing out his motivations, he’s also not wrong. Humans are historically not great at taking care of the planet or each other.

When the Russians call his bluff and launch nukes at Magneto’s new island, he quickly disarms them. His retribution is swift and ferocious: the entire citadel is a machine that massively amplifies his powers. He sinks the submarine that launched the missiles, condemning the entire crew to death, and he casually erects a vulcano in a Russian city in Siberia.

Damn. Not messing around this time.

Despite his good intentions, Magneto is still definitely in the wrong: not only because of his methods, but as Scott points out: if Magneto unifies the world under his kind of benevolent dictatorship, all of that will simply fall apart as soon as Magnus dies.

In a way, Magneto is just as big a dreamer as Charles is: Charles believes in peace and integration, whereas Magneto believes his iron fist will be enough to make a perfect world happen. Both of them ignore the reality that acceptance is difficult and messy, because you’re trying to change essential human nature: the fear of the other. Magneto believes in big, sweeping gestures that will fix the world in move, while changing the world is also boring, hard work. One step forward, two steps back. Magneto just wants to leapfrog to his ultimate goal.

The X-Men fly over the citadel, returning from Antarctica, and their plane crashes into the ocean. (Magneto does not brook planes over his territory, humans!) The Professor is also nearby, looking for Scott with Moira, Peter Corbeau and Carol Danvers. The X-Men sneak onto the island, but to their horror, their powers are nullified by some machine of Magneto. They reunite with Scott, who formulates a plan to thwart the would-be ruler of the world.

While the rest of the X-Men go to trash the machine, Storm, Kitty and Lee infiltrate the control chamber where Storm finds a sleeping, shirtless Magneto. Once again showing her terrible taste in men, she is not weak in the knees at the sight of a sleeping Magnus: instead, she contemplates killing him.

Storm knows how dangerous he is, but she also knows that he’s a great man who’s fighting for ideals, no matter how misguided. She hesitates too long: Magneto stirs, suspects an attack and tosses her out of the window, to her death.

Magneto quickly undoes the sabotage the other X-Men have wrought to his machine. A fight erupts. Storm, meanwhile, has managed to grab hold of a ledge. She crawls back up and smashes an important-looking computer, restoring everyone’s powers.

The battle turns grim, but Scott sends Kitty away to wreck Magneto’s machinery. She sneaks off, following Scott’s orders and destroying both Magneto's power-up device and all of his plans by phasing though the computer circuitry. Magneto senses this and furiously gives chase. Overcome by rage, he attacks Kitty and disrupts her phasing power with a magnetic bolt, seemingly killing her?

Everything about this story beat is great: mama bear!Ororo, mournful Magnus and even the fact that Kitty’s godawful outfit serves a narrative function: highlighting to us (and Magneto) just how young she is. The fact that Kitty’s Jewish is just icing on the cake. (Uncanny X-Men 150)

And thus, the softening of Magneto commences. 1981 might be a year with wildly varying narratives, but it has given us at least three enduring legacies to the X-Mythos: a new kind of Magneto, a fondness for dystopian futures and the character of Kitty Pryde, who's really come into her own this year.

Ugliest Costume: Kitty! Purposefully, but still. Best costume, by the way, goes to Destiny, with her creepy, creepy golden mask. Just imagine this lady casually strolling across a battlefield, eerily calm and collected, dodging everything you throw at her. Awesome design.

Best new character: I usually pick one character - what good is having a shared award when declaring the best of anything? - but this year, it’s going to one of my favorite couples: Mystique and Destiny. Can’t wait to see more of them.

Most audacious retcon: Blob somehow retroactively becomes a member of the original Brotherhood, which is not what happened. Ever weirder is Xavier pondering that he never met Magneto before his attack in X-Men #1, while their cordially adversarial relationship rooted in a youthful friendship would soon become a cornerstone of the X-Men.

What to read: Uncanny X-Men 141 - 143 and 150 - 152

[mnemonicmadness-blog]

Arrow - A brief and biased but (hopefully) comprehensive guide

I know I’m not the only one really looking forward to Michael Emerson as a supervillain. I’m probably also not the only one who found the prospect of watching all of Arrow... daunting. But I did make myself watch it all and thought I might as well summarise it for those who understandably don’t want to. Needless to say, Spoiler Warning!

Another warning: I personally don’t like Arrow, and that’s definitely reflected in this, but I encourage you to not let yourself be deterred from watching it and forming your own opinion.

Background Stuff:

Star City (renamed because why not; formerly Starling City): The main location of Arrow and the home of its characters.

Central City: The main location of The Flash, it’s often mentioned. Also, beware the crossover episodes! I recommend skipping those, unless you want to keep up with The Flash (imo The Flash is even worse than Arrow, so proceed at your own risk) as well. They tend to affect the other episodes in only minor ways.

Lian Yu (Mandarin for Purgatory, often only refered to as the island): The island Oliver was stranded on. It exploded in the last season finale.

A.R.G.U.S.: A secret special ops devision of the US government.

Metahumans: In the beginning of The Flash, some experimental reactor exploded, which gave random people all sorts of superpowers.

Palmer Technologies: Formerly Queen Consolidated, which used to be (surprise, surprise) the Queen family’s business empire. If I remember correctly Queen Consolidated went bankrupt and was boght by Palmer Technologies. PT belonged to a dude named Ray Palmer aka Captain Atom, who is alive but officially presumed dead after an accident with his shrinking suit.

League of Assassins: The name is pretty self-explanatory. They’re essentially ninjas, wear black outfits and mostly fight with swords. After a long leadership dispute, they were disbanded in s5. They used to have a thing called the Lazarus Pit, which can heal injuries and even revive dead people, but with some considerable drawbacks.

Helix: A powerful hacktivist group founded by a guy named Cayden James (probably ME’s character?). Felicity Smoak briefly worked with them.

Bratva: A Russian organised crime group.

Main Characters:

Original Team Arrow:

Oliver Queen/The Hood/Green Arrow: The protagonist, rich kid, former cast away, has a perpetual identity crisis. Whether or not he’s willing to kill people could so far be determined by number of season: In the odd-numbered ones he kills, in the even-numbered ones he doesn’t. His middle name should be ‘Drama‘. He slept around a lot before getting stranded and has a son with a one-night-stand about whom he didn’t know until s4, I think? He is skilled at archery and various typed of hand to hand combat, he was trained by various individuals on the island and was a temporary member of A.R.G.U.S., the League of Assassins, and the Bratva. Oliver changes his mind a lot despite having quite the self-righteous streak, nontheless he’s rather predictable, which the big bads like to take advantage of. He is also frequently melodramatic and prooobably needs a shitload of therapy.

John Diggle/Spartan: Oliver’s bodyguard, assigned to him after he returned from the island. Oliver kept ditching him until he found out Oliver is the Green Arrow (back then still known as the Hood) and subsequently became the first to join Oliver’s cause. He is married to Lyla Michaels (see: Recurring Characters) and has a son with her, who used to be a daughter until a timetravel crossover episode happened, which I skipped. He is loyal and veeery principled and considers Oliver his brother.

Felicity Smoak/Overwatch: The second person to join Oliver. First his friend, later his on-off girlfriend/love-interest/fiancée. I’m actually not sure whether or not they’re together at this point and I think they’re not sure either. After Ray Palmer’s “death” she became the CEO of Palmer Technologies until she was kicked out by the board. She’s the tech support and an excellent hacker, for which she has a bit of a reputation. Felicity is sweet, babbles a lot, but is one of the more reasonable characters. She was recently paralyzed, but regained the ability to walk due to a microchip in her spine.

Extended Team Arrow:

Thea Queen/Speedy: Oliver’s younger half-sister (although they didn’t know she’s only his half-sister until season 2, I think). Used to have a drug problem, but since she got her shit together, she’s probably the most reasonable member of Team Arrow (the bar really isn’t high there), despite being something of a hothead. She was almost killed and subsequently saved by the Lazarus Pit, which left her with a periodically occurring bloodlust that goes away once she murders someone. She received League of Assassins training by her father, Malcolm Merlyn (see: Recurring Characters).

Quentin Lance: On-off alcoholic. Former policeman. Father of two adult daughters (see: Recurring Characters), who both dated Oliver Queen, pre-series they did so simultaneously. Needless to say, he really hated Oliver’s guts at first, but has since warmed up to him. Is currently Oliver’s deputy mayor.

New Team Arrow:

Curtis Holt/Mr. Terrific: The Gay™ (I’m all for rep, but to me he seems a bit too much like the “Look at this gay character we made, look at him, aren’t we progressive???”-type of gay character.). He’s also a tech-savvy sweetheart who babbles a lot but has surprising moments of reason. Pretty much a male Felicity. He met Felicity while working for Palmer Technologies’ R&D department.

Rene Ramirez/Wild Dog: The superhero name reeaally suits him. He has a massive temper, zero chill and authority issues a mile wide. He means well though. He has a daughter, whose mother had a drug problem and was murdered in their home by a dealer. Rene really fell off the wagon after that and lost custody of his daughter, but he’s trying to get it back now, after being encouraged by Quentin Lance.

Dinah Drake/Black Canary: A metahuman and former polivewoman. She was working undercover when the reactor explosion thin occurred, was discovered and tortured and her partner/fwb was killed. Her superpower is the canary cry, aka weaponised screaming. Also one of the more reasonable characters, but also has a bit of a short fuse.

Recurring Characters:

Malcolm Merlyn/Dark Archer/The Magician: He’s played by John Barrowman so I like him. He’s an old family friend of the Queens and is Thea’s father, since he had an affair with Moira Queen. He’s been a long-standing nemesis of Team Arrow, and occasionally their mistrusted ally. Would do anything for Thea and proved that by stepping on a landmine in the last season finale, so he might be dead, but we haven’t seen his body yet, so... He was part of the League of Assassin and was their leader for a while, a position contested by Nyssa Al Ghul, the previous leader’s daughter.

Lyla Michaels: Ex-soldier, Diggle’s wife, works for A.R.G.U.S. Not much else to say, except she’s a badass and her morals are a tad more flexible than her husband’s, a frequent cause for friction between them.

Sara Lance/White Canary: BAMF. Bi af. Quentin Lance’s younger daughter, had an affair pre-series with Oliver, while he was together with her sister. She accompanied him on the boat ride that ended with him stranded of that island. She was long presumed dead, but was actually saved by the League of Assassins. Was together with Nyssa Al Ghul. She was killed by Thea Queen, more or less by accident. Her sister revived her using the Lazarus Pit, which ended with Sara being soulless for a while, but they fixed that. (Or rather, John Constantine, one of my favourite fictional characters ever, fixed that. Sadly, it was his only appearance on the show.)

Rory Regan/Ragman: Currently gone off, finding himself or something. Everyone gets identity crises on that show. Marginally less lame than ‘Ragman’ makes it sound, but really not by much. His town was destroyed by a nuke (Flicity’s fault, she steered it there to avoid hitting an even more populated area after s4′s big bad fired said nuke.) and he’s the only survivor thanks to his magical rags. Don’t question it.

Slade Wilson/Deathstroke: Australian. Badass. Pretty much the only cool character on this show so far and probably the most competent one. Ex-soldier. Ex A.S.I.S. (Australian Secret Intelligence Service) operative/assassin. Did I mention he’s a badass? Was stranded on that infamous island with Oliver, saved and trained him, because he’s a badass like that. Intelligent, competent, reeeaally smooth. He lost an eye after being shot by an arrow by Oliver and was dosed by some stuff called Mirakuru, which saved his life, gave him super strength, enhanced reflexes and senses, etc., but unfortunately also turned him insane, which ended with him trying to take over Starling City (he also murdered Moira Queen, Oliver’s and Thea’s mother). It wore off after a few years though and he tuned good again. He’s still a badass.

Alena: Hactivist, member of Helix, idolises Felicity. She’s friendly and carefree, but also intelligent and manipulative. She also appears to care deeply for Cayden James.

Anatoly Knyazev: Leader of the Russian Bratva/Brotherhood. Oliver saved his life but later also pissed him off, so they’re kind of friends but currently also enemies.

Nyssa Al Ghul: Daughter of Ra’s Al Ghul, the deceased leader of the League of Assassins. Arse-kicking lesbian. Technically, she’s Oliver’s wife, but that was an arranged marriage to their mutual benefit. Sara’s girlfriend. She really, really adores Sara and usually only refers to her as ‘my beloved’, it’s really quite sweet. She’s also a badass and usually Team Arrow’s ally, though occasionally their enemy.

Dead Characters that might get mentioned:

Laurel Lance: Ugh. Oliver’s ex-girlfriend and oldest friend. Alcoholic, boring, hypocritical, next-level annoying. Used to be the Black Canary before being killed in s4. She has an evil, parallel universe counterpart known as Black Siren who is also annoying but at least marginally more interesting. Black Siren is also a metahuman with the same ability as Dinah Drake, though she’s not very good at it, or at least not as good as Dinah. She ended up in the show’s universe due to some Flash crossover fuckery that I haven’t watched.

Tommy Merlyn: Oliver’s childhood best friend, Malcolm Merlyn’s son. He died way back in s1 but is still occasionally mentioned.

Shado Gulong: Also used to be stuck on the island with Oliver, Slade and her father whose name I don’t know how to spell (Yao Fe?? Something like that?). Helped train Oliver. Was briefly together with Oliver and killed on the island. Slade also had a crush on her at the time, which was the reason his chemically induced insanity focussed his revenge on Oliver.

[ipushedthewrongbutton]

Skyrim is such a fun game??? But also surprisingly emotional

it’s been more or less since the game came out that i played it. I don’t even know how many years but long enough for me to not remember anything but the literal first scene, so i decided, since we’re in quarantine and all, this would be the perfect time to start over and finally at least finish the main quest.  back when i first played, my english wasn’t great so i didnt understand upgrading or taking random quests from random npc’s so i mostly went along where the lil white arrows told me to go.

NOW THO, i can upgrade weapons, gear, i can actually understand alchemy and enchanting, i can do as many useless quests as i want and i have the internet at my disposal in case i was too stoopid to figure out the next step myself.

Started out great, clicked the wrong button while picking a name and so instead  of pressing the backspace button, i confirmed my male breton’s name as Prisoner, for the rest of the fucking game. He looks like a sweetheart tho who’s always confused, thin and wiry, ponytail, can’t grow a beard to save his life but he has a scar under his eye. He’s amnesiac, was arrested at the border, has no fucking clue what he was doing there.

I didn’t wanna think up a backstory, hence...

I immediately decided, fuck it, i ain’t fighting this civil war, I’m a breton, y’all nords do whatever the fuck u want. And i stayed with that. I briefly thought about choosing a side depending on whose point resonated with me more. Turns out, neither point is entirely valid. One side has no respect of history and culture, the other side is racist. So Prisoner was neutral for the entirety of the game. Neither Ulfric nor Tulius got any attention from this homie.

What did receive attention tho was the main quest and boi, i know everyone hates chosen one stories. And they’re right. But man, i love chosen one stories. And my baby boi is the dragonborn and he’s like ?????? And everyone is like “you defeat dragons and you are the hero everyone waited for” and my dude is like ????? Ok??? Sure?????? And he just goes to places and helps as many people as possible on the way. 

Fuckin, the best thing was sideplots happening BY ACCIDENT. Prisoner goes on a quest to murder a shitty orphanage keeper, goes to tell the kid who commissioned him, he feels pretty okay about it. Then he gets The Letter. “we know” with a black handprint. And the shit that left my body at that moment, could’ve started a new nation. I mean, i had a 35 damage weapon at that point and i had slain my, what, fifth dragon at that point so i wasn’t worried about dying from assassins but THE INTIMIDATION WORKED. 

LITTLE DID PRISONER KNOW that this would be the biggest emotional rollercoaster in the goddamn game, no lie. Being the chosen one, sure. Defeating dragons that will cause the apocalypse, no pressure. Become thane of a city, aight. But THEN I GET KIDNAPPED IN MY BRANDNEW HOME AND I WAKE UP IN A SHACK WITH A LIL LADY TELLING ME TO KILL ONE OF THREE PEOPLE. THE FEAR I EXPERIENCED... but then they recruited me, and they’re all really cute colourful characters and we’re assassins and we’re the black brotherhood and we kill people for a living but we’re a Family. And my baby boi character had yet to experience anything like that. Sure the greybeards are mentor-ish but Prisoner never lived up on High Hrothgar amongst the old dudes. The blades did a roadtrip thing which was fun but then they kinda just squatted in their new headquarters and sent Prisoner on his merry way. But this, they had a sleeping place and a dining hall and a lil garden and the werewolf man gave me insulting nicknames and there’s a little girl who says she’s a vampire and to this day, I’m still not sure if she was telling the tRUTH OR NOT. 

AND THEN, AND THEN, the whole emperor thing happens, right, and that’s fucking hilarious. Prisoner with a chef’s head, i was cackling like a madman. And then AND THEN, THE BETRAYAL. ASTRID SAYS there’ll be a surprise up on the lil walkway bridge thing. And then there’s no one. AND THEN THERE’S SOLDIERS TELLING ME THEY’RE AMBUSHING HQ. AND I LOST. MY. SHIT. The thing wouldn’t let me fat travel either because the soldiers kept chasing me and i thought i was gonna have to ride Shadowmere all the way to the other side of skyrim, hysteric and worried about mY FAmILy. AND THEN i arrive at hq and there’s on of them PINNED TO THE TREE and like, guys. Guys. I was crying and full on immersion, i was like “nobody leaves here alive”, it was horrific, I didn’t do any of the stealthing, i just ripped them apart with my draugr greatsword, i already leveled up to the point where i cut my enemies’ heads off, it was glorious. It was so emotional, seeing werewolf man get killed, HE GAVE ME INSULTING NICKNAMES OKAY, and then finding Nazir and then hiding in a fucking coffin with a corpse who’s then like, trying to sooth me??  it was so emotional and i was crying tears of goddamn grief, i was Prisoner and Prisoner was me. The line between fantasy and reality: gone. I had spent HOURS upon DAYS on this game at this point, there was no going back.

hoo

..

So then i killed the emperor, and the reacting of the land was “...hm?” And i killed the general captain dude personal, like, optional my ass, i was gonna murder that shithead optional or not.

So i bought a house. In whiterun. It’s called breezehome (that’s not a choice) and I instantly decided if i ever get my own place, I’m calling it breezehome. I really hesitated about getting a house, since Prisoner is a nomad and constantly on the road, plus, has a “””””home””’”’” with the blades and other places in other quests. But then i decided it takes too much frigging effort to get all my loot sold cus all the pawnbrokers are pawn broke (HAH) and i can only sell them like a few gems and that’s it. And i needed a place to store all that shit, plus, i was going nuts from my collection of keys on my person aaaaaand i needed like a drawer to chuck em all in. And so that’s what i diiiiiiid. I later got the place in solitude too to finish the thane quest there but i literally only used the mannequins in the basement for my brotherhood and nightingale outfits. Which i both have worn literally once and then i just went with my guild outfit. 46 armor is good fuckin armor and the best i owned the entire game. Added some fire resistant shoes and suddenly dragons were super easy to defeat. I also found dragonbane somewhere, i literally only used it to wack dragons when they run aground. Otherwise i switched between a bow and a greatsword, both with the power of stealing health. Glorious. I was invincible. Well, with that and the power of Strategically Running Away. 

I thought it was weird my guy never got the choice of being a leader of literally anything. I mean, thane is an honorary title so you can do whatever you want and not get shit for it, like the privileged fucks we all are, but arch-mage when i only entered the school like last week? Head of the thief’s guild after going on 2 assignments, one of them being the chasing and murdering of the previous one? Never got the choice, was just like “you’re perfect for that” and me “‘I’m LITERALLY the least qualified person im this entire province!” Also i has a flute on my person at all times, bard’s college never taught me how to play it, the bastard’s, all they did was send me on errand in dusty cAVES. AT LEAST IN ASSASSIN’S CREED YOU HAVE TO CHASE THE SHANTIES IN ORDER TO PERFORM THE SHANTIES. 

Then the husband thing.

I knew there was an option to get married and adopt. I don’t want kids, in game or out. But i am disgustingly lonely (especially after the massacre of the black brotherhood) in game or out, so i looked it up and SURE ENOUGH, SAME SEX MARRIAGE IS DELISIOUSLY LEGAL IN SKYRIM, OH BLESSED DAY. Things i learned with this: i cannot handle flirting. It was cute and Prisoner and Falkar are adorable but I CRINGE, A LOT. 

Honestly, the most i personally had with this was envisioning Prisoner finally leaving for Sovngarde (after putting it off for as long as possible) and giving his final goodbye to his brand new husband like, caressing each other’s cheeks and holding each other’s shoulders, “i promise I’ll be home again soon” “and if you don’t, i will find you in sovngarde” “keep the hearth warm while I’m gone” “keep your sword sharp, you always forget to redo the enchantments” “‘don’t neglect the companions just because you wanna housewife” just sacharine as. Fuck. They were in bed togeher the night before, just talking about useless shit and holding each other t was very PG. And then after defeating Alduin, Prisoner finds himself back in Skyrim, relieved that it’s all fucking over at long fucking last, and he climbs on Shadowmere’s back, tired, and rides back home. When he arrives in Whiterun, tired and weathered, he spots Falkar just returning from a mission, he’s also travel weary and just unlocked the door to breezehome. He spots Prisoner and Shadowmere entering through the gates. They pause, they look at each other like they’ve been apart for years instead of days. Falkar drops his back, Prisoner gets off the horse and suddenly they’re running towards each other, till they smack together and they’re just holding each other, it’s the best hug ever. 

Aaaaand that’s kinda where i left it. I have more companion missions but i physically can’t get myself to do them because i feel the story is over, there’s no point. I can also still pick which side of the civil war i wanna take but it would be extremely out of character now.  it’s weird, i feel like crying again. I invested so much time in this story and these characters with so little effort. Cus usually, writing my own stories, it takes effort to develop and build them. Here, all i had to do was make choices and kill the bad guys. And I don’t want to say goodbye even though i feel like there’s nothing more to add.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

Dressing Up as Santa Claus Is a Serious Business

http://fashion-trendin.com/dressing-up-as-santa-claus-is-a-serious-business/

Dressing Up as Santa Claus Is a Serious Business

Jonathan Meath is first and foremost an entertainer. At 62, he has his own Wikipedia page that details his entertainment work as Santa Claus, something he’s been doing for 12 years. He’s also the image for the Wikipedia page for “Santa Claus,” which might mean he’s actually Santa.

When I called him up to ask him what it’s like, his voice sounded ecstatic: “My daughter was nominated for a Grammy!” (His daughter, it turns out, is Amelia Meath of Sylvan Esso, a band I adore.) As our conversation wore on, though, I got the sense that I hadn’t merely caught him on a good morning: his joy never wavered. I soon learned he considers year-round jolliness part of the gig. Perhaps that’s why he’s got such steady work.

Below, his as-told-to account of being (possibly the real?) Santa Claus.

The lightbulb moment

My daughter will tell you: “Dad became an empty-nester and then became a Santa.” I got into it when she went off to college. My wife bought a Santa suit from eBay on a whim — quite frankly, as a way to say, “Dude, lose a little weight.” Putting on the suit was fun, but I had never thought about doing any Santa activities. I mean, I am of a certain shape, and I had a big beard, and people had been telling me that I looked like a Santa, but I never really thought about it.

Then one day — this was about 12 years ago — while laying in the bathtub thinking, as you do, an idea occurred to me. I had been singing in a wonderful performance group and it dawned on me: I might be able to get a gig from singing, in a Santa suit, those wonderful Christmas songs that Bing Crosby and others sang in the ’40s and ’50s. Wouldn’t that be a hoot? I might be a able to get myself to New York!

So I produced an album of four songs called Santa Sings. I hired musicians and an arranger — we did the whole thing. Then I found a band and did a couple of gigs and it was great. But there was no demand for a singing Santa! It was a rude awakening, but the fact that I had done it, and had worn the suit, got the entertainer in me going.

The beginning

I got involved with The International Brotherhood of Real Bearded Santas, where I now sit on the board. We’re 1,700 members strong, and I know a lot of them. I’m not the best-looking Santa, but the adage, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” applies here. Some people like small Santas, some like incredibly large Santas. It turns out that I fit the mold of a very particular Santa. I am the spitting image of the Coca Cola Santa, which is how that became my job: I went to a casting call and Coke saw it. I was in the 2016 and 2017 campaign. There should be a couple of billboards in Times Square this year!

I’ve appeared at Radio City Music Hall as their in-house Santa for pictures. I’ve appeared in Delta’s airplane safety video — in the part that says, “Put your safety mask on before assisting others around you,” the oxygen masks fall and I put mine on and then assist an elf. Tons of friends recognized me.

I also have a special Santa in-flight suit that I wear on planes. It’s a red jumpsuit with flight wings and an embroidered sleigh with reindeer on the back and on the front it says “Santa’s Flight School.” One of my favorite things to do is walk on the plane, stick my hand in the cockpit and say, “You know, I’m a flyer too.” It’s great. They love it.

But you know who loves Santa most in the airport? The TSA. They go wild. I hand them my regular ID and go, “This is my Clark Kent,” and they flip out. You think it would go the other way — that they’d see me and request a cavity search. But it’s so fun.

Mall work

When you embody Santa, you automatically find that your heart grows that much bigger. It’s like in How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Your heart gets bigger and you realize that those kids want the experience of an adult who’s all about joy and giving. When you’re a mall Santa, and you’re asking the child what makes them tick and what makes them happy, you bring them joy. And it’s great.

Unfortunately, sometimes when I’m working at the mall, the company who does the pictures — and god bless, there’s a business there — they want it to be about the picture only. But it’s not really about the picture, it’s about the childhood experience. And then if you can get a good picture, fine.

A lot of kids are scared at first, either because here’s the guy who knows whether you’ve been naughty or nice all year, or because they’re well-trained not to trust strangers, or because they have their parents saying, “Get up on that fat guy’s lap,” and it’s weird! But as Santa, you get to make those moments fantastic. Some kids need a big hearty, Ho Ho Ho!, but most just need a warm hello and a chuckle and to be asked what they want for Christmas. It’s that simple. When kids ask if I’m real I say, “Of course I’m real! I’m right here with you!” But I never promise anything. I just listen and say things like, “That’s a wonderful thing to want,” or “We’ll see…” (I actually learned that one from my mother.)

Santa never pushes anything. Santa is a receptacle. A safe space. Santa doesn’t bring the capitalist edge —  other entities and marketing people bring that. My representation of Santa is pure. Santa, in his origins, is pre-Christian and not really affiliated with any religion. There are a numbers of Santas from every religious persuasion. Some people try to put Santa in that box, but my Santa is not in that box.

Looking the part

We’re all peacocks. We love our outfits. It’s a business suit, but man do we love to trick it out. The right belt, the right shoes, the right fur. I have 10 suits. I have three Coca Cola suits, three standard…then we start to get crazy. I’ve got an all-German one with leather pants and lederhosen, and we’re not even talking about the summer suits yet. Santa is a clothes horse.

The standard Santa boot is called an engineer boot. I’ve got a pair in regular leather and patent leather. Man are those patent leathers sharp. It’s expensive because it’s not just one suit; you’re never done buying. You’ve got to have the accessories. You need a good magic key. I have actual bells made by a real bellman on what is a leather harness for reindeer. It goes on and on.

Here’s the kiss of death: the words, “Santa, we have a place for you right over by the fire.” The suit is made and designed to be in an open sleigh at 24 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s horrible. Some Santas, especially out in California, they do a rendition of the workshop look. They come in in the full outfit and then very ceremoniously take off the jacket and put it on a hanger so they don’t have to sit all day long in a suit that’s built for 20 degrees in an 85 degree mall.

Sometime’s your super sweaty, but fun fact: almost every dry cleaner cleans Santa suits for free.

Embodying Santa all year

I keep a shorter beard these days, but when I was full beard/full hair, in Santa mode, I got recognized every day, all year round. That’s part of why there are “Real Bearded Santa” organizations, because a real beard will get that every day. It’s part of the deal. You embody Santa. I never have a problem being jolly; it’s part of the calling. I do think there are other Santas who struggle with this, but I’m a very happy, extraverted, ebullient man, and I never have a problem bringing Santa when he’s called for.

But since I went to a shorter beard, I really don’t look as much like Santa out of context. And as for my weight, these days I pad. There are Santas who subscribe to that [aesthetic] ideal and I certainly know some who will never refuse a cookie. I’ve been known to refuse a cookie and ask for celery though.

It really does come down to bringing the joy. It’s a responsibility. There’s a misconception that Santa is a punisher, but the Santa who you’re talking to right now is all about joy and love. There are no such things as bad kids. They might be a little misguided or mischievous or angry, but kids need to be celebrated. The season is about celebrating family and togetherness and our commonality, not our differences.

Images by Heather Morey

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