#i hate yall for not saying SHIT to me about all i was gonna suffer in this book
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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COD Headcanons
I mean they're not hc it's just shit I think they say/do but I needed the title okay?
As I previously said this is just my silly little opinion, I would love to read yours but don't take this too personal and I'm saying this cause Imma bout to write SHIT about two characters and I'm scared cause they're loved by the whole fandom.
Okay thats all thanks<3333
Let's start with my favorite piece of shit, shall we?
Alejandro Vargas
I don't care what yall say this man is a CHEATER and he would make you feel guilty about it too because you're not "meeting his needs".
“I’m not sexist???? We cannot do the same things, it's basic biology!”
Maybe he's good in bed, let's give him that.
Alain meza said he loved Rudy so let's assume he's bi, uh... he wouldn't admit that shit, not in a million years, probably would get offended if you even dare to suggest it.
He doesn’t argue to fix things, he argues to repeat how much in the right he is, I feel like he NEVER admits he’s in the wrong, he seems very stubborn.
Now can we address that fucking temper of his? Breathe mf, no ones gonna die if you stop yelling for a second.
I feel like he must’ve had A LOT of trouble when he just joined the army because of his anger issues, think about it for a moment: someone with a higher rank yelling at him and you think he just took it? I doubt it.
MUST HAVE fought with Valeria more than once cause that temper of hers is just as shitty.
I promise I don’t hate him, well I do but he’s one of my favs, I don’t know how to explain this bye.
Simon Riley
He’s very chill I love him <3
I think of him like a very nostalgic man, he thinks a lot about his past, past lovers, past experiences, when he was new in the army, you know? Not in a “I’m still traumatized” way, he’s just nostalgic.
He’s absent minded, he’s always daydreaming (when he’s not doing something important ofc).
Thin and I don’t fucking care, THAT MAN IS THIN, you can even see it sometimes!!!! He’s got chicken legs, I love them.
He really seems to enjoy dad jokes.
He cares a lot about his teammates and I love it, it’s very cute.
Can we talk about how everyone put him as a fucking beast in bed? I don't see it, I think he's ruthless when he needs to but I don't think this applies when it comes to sex, he suffered a lot too and sadly I know too well that sex is pretty fucking terrible after rape, especially because you feel like you're gonna hurt the person you're having sex with so...
John MacTavish
Typa guy everyone loves, even your dad and your grandma's always saying how handsome he is.
Maybe he was bullied bc of his accent but he just told them to go fuck themselves.
Caring and loving, buys his partner flowers and their favorite candy/chocolates/desserts.
Remembers anniversaries, birthdays, medical or school appointments.
Too charismatic and funny.
Kyle Garrick
He’s too good for his own good… I feel like he always end up going out with INSANE people, the jealous type, they’re always bitching and making him angry and stressed but he forgives them cause he’s an angel.
Very sweet, loves cooking for people he loves.
Kinda family oriented.
He smells good, I can almost smell his perfumeeeeee he smells good, he spends MONEY on it too.
Even the devil is afraid of him when he’s mad.
I think he's very private about his life in general, doesn't like to vent his problems.
Hot lover.
John Price
Now this man is a FATHER, my fucking dad I swear.
He seems pretty conservative to me, not in a bad way like he wants you to be his personal maid and slave, more like he wants to date to marry, hates casual sex.
Loves whiskey.
Dad energy, he would be so caring and loving with his child, he would give that baby the moon.
I don’t think he would love to date a younger woman, not a woman in her twenties at least, I think he would be into women his age.
If you feel disappointment by that, maybe you could try fixing your relationship with your dad, sweetheart ;).
Hates confrontation and loves to work things out.
Let’s not talk about how sex with be with the old man, okay? Thanks.
He's not that old, I get that but he looks like he's fucking 68.
Phillip Graves
He looks kinda daddy in that pic, not gonna lie.
“How come you don’t want to have sex? What about me? Have you thought about how that makes me feel? If your head hurts, sex would help but you never consider me, I’ll sleep in the couch”.
A selfish, self-centered bitch, only thinks about himself.
Feeling good having sex with him? Aw baby, try again cause this mf would use you like a damn toy and he couldn’t care less about your feelings or how much pain you’re in.
Cheater, he wouldn’t even be quiet about it. “Oh you want to divorce me? And where are you gonna go, sugar? You’re nothing without me”.
Doesn’t fucking know where the clit is, he doesn’t have a fucking clue.
Of course straight, loves to be white and American.
“Of course I can say whatever I want, I’m from America I have freedom of speech”.
Fuck you graves.
Rodolfo Parra
Perfect.
He seems so sweet and kind and considerate I love him.
Smart as hell, probably got the best grades when he was a kid.
Doesn’t hate anyone, no one hates him.
Loves nature and animals but he can’t enjoy it too much cause he is always busy.
Dreams about having a big family and a dog (a golden, probably).
Forget about having rough sex UNLESS he’s mad (fr mad like losing his shit but that doesn’t happen frequently).
Could be a teacher if he wasn’t in the army, he’s very patient and can explain things easily.
Have a pretty smile.
Valeria Garza aka MAMI
Feels like she needs to prove something, she was underestimated for so long in the army that now she’s always trying to prove to herself how badass and good at her job she is.
Almost no one knows the real Valeria, her favorite things, music taste, if she prefers cold or hot, coffee or tea etc.
She hates cold weather with all her MIGHT.
Likes to smoke only when she’s stressed.
Likes animals but thinks they’re so much work and she doesn’t have the time.
Did drugs once and hated it.
Feels guilty when she spots a church but she WOULD NEVER admit this shit to anyone.
Used to the worst of life so she didn’t like when someone is kind with her, is like “tf am I supposed to do with it???” but she gets used to it eventually.
I don’t think she has anger issues but def she doesn’t fucking know how to regulate her emotions, she lets stress take over her.
She would love a narcowife, kind of woman who wears a lot of beachy dresses and have a shitty personality like her (like Kate del Castillo in La Reina del Sur or in Bad Boys, exactly that kind of narcowife) (I’m kinda projecting, sorry lol).
I can’t picture her with a sweet girl and I think a sweet girl wouldn’t be able to handle that woman.
She keeps arguing even though she realized she’s in the wrong.
She wouldn't be able to spend a lot of time with her S.O, she's such a workaholic.
I don't think she likes to wear men clothes.
I don't think she hates kids but I can't picture her with kids.
Wouldn't divorce once she's married.
Btw I didn’t want to make this too sexual bc lately this fandom is full of just that, too much smut, too much violence and rape in the smut and it’s so graphic that I feel I’m watching instead of reading wtf, its uncomfortable and I honestly can’t picture the characters being that violent and vile.
As I said in my previous hcs… these guys are surrounded by violence, stress and blood every day, I personally don’t think they wanna get home to torture their partners (well, maybe graves cause he is a piece of shit that mf. Okay kidding, not even Graves is that much of a bastard).
#valeria garza#call of duty#cod x reader#phillip graves#rodolfo parra#rodolfo cod#alejandro x rodolfo#alejandro vargas#cod#valeria mw2#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghost headcanons#john price#captain price#soap#john soap mactavish#gaz cod#gaz garrick#gaz mw2#cod headcanons#cod hcs
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Things I'm manifesting
-Everything from my notes/Dream life (this just basically everything😭)
-Dream face
-Dream body
-Lighter prettier eyes
-Caramel brown skin (think goldenbih)
-Being 5'1 in a half + weighing 110lbs
-Smaller prettier feet, hands, toes, nails
-3b curls/perfect hair
-Lighter hair with caramel highlights
-Freckles + Beauty marks
-Natural makeup appearance
-Dream wardrobe/Fashion/Aesthetic
-Dream mansion + living in luxury city
-Being famous/celebrity/superstar/popstar
-Desired talents/talented at everything
-Being an it girl + sex symbol + muse + vixen (yall get it 😭)
-Being master manifestor + perfect pretty self concept (even tho technically I already am this its just like why not? Ya know😭)
-Dream parents/family + Being an only child (I'm sick of this sibling shit 😒) + radiate and embody hot older sister energy (just cuz I don't wanna be a older sister no more doesn't mean i dont still want the energy😭)
-Prettier handwriting +top notch writing skills/communication skills/over the top intelligence/stupidly high IQ(basically just the brainsy gyal)
-perfect 50/50 HD eye sight + looking hot asf in any pair of glasses (I wanna not be blind but still be fine)
-Prettier whiter teeth and pinker tongue and gums and just dental/mouth in general + OP top notch hygiene skills (I feel people who have bipolar depression understand this part)
-better mental health + no mental health issues + no anxiety/fearful etc
- balanced hormones + increased estrogen(as a girl I have wayy too much testosterone n I've been insecure about it for years)
-perfect coochani + OP coochanini skills (ummm so this is just self explanatory but honestly if yk yk 😭)
-Naturally smell like my desired scent (which is basically like a bakery n just so deliciously annoyingly sweet and seductive; but remember how I said I have too much testosterone gor my body to handle yea..ifykyk😭)
-No more sweating (I don't sweat excessive I just hate it period)
-top notch crystal clean health + no more constipation + no longer pooping n its healthy (ik somebody gon question me but those who suffer from severe constipation especially for me its been my whole life u understand where I'm coming from)
- desired voice + accent + unique lingo n slang etc
-Desired personality + persona + aura + vibe etc etc
-super flexibility skills
-unbearably photogenic videogenic audiogenic + always looking perfect naturally
-Desired school, friends, lover, etc + school it girl
-Speak/know already desired languages
-drivets license, car, motorcycle, etc etc
-Be intimidatingly wealthy (when I say wealthy I mean WEALTHYYYYY) + come from a family of aristocrats + wealthy generational family in general (yall know what I'm tryna say) + luxury etc etc
-Revised life and childhood
-Dream singing + rapping skills + song writing etc
-Good in all sports like frfr just good at everything (basically the perfect it girl)
-Be a Gazillion times better then Kokomi teruhashi (not tryna be self centered i promise🥲)
-Perfect life + graduation + live teenage fever dream
-Bald, completely hairless body and face (but keeping my brows, lashes and scalp hair)
It's more I just can't think of it rn but this is all I will be manifesting
How will I manifest all this?
So for me I'm not really tryna overcomplicate any more I'm just gonna go straight back to the basics n apply what I know which is choose what I desire, affirm/assume its done and persist. I already overconsumed so much and at this point it's a waste of time. I'm not really tryna do no challenges I'm just gonna focus strictly on trusting and having faith not just in myself but my imagination and subconscious thats its done n taken care of, I'll give yall updates on anything that happens soon! I love you guyssss💗💗💗
Affirmations I'll be using
-I have all of my desires from my notes
-I am living my dream life
-it is done
-I choose to live my new story, my old story no longer exist
#law of assumption#manifestation#manifesting#neville goddard#affirm and persist#affirmations#MsAllurea
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will delete later but imma gonna rant bc i can and yall be sending me these things knowing im gonna snap but HEY i guess ill take over hate.💀
you know, when we said that cassian was abusive in acosf, and that his behavior was not only unromantic, but very much parallel to the way tamlin treated feyre in maf -- we were met with contention. it was ‘cassian is the best bat boy!” “how can you hate cassian” and “you guys always find problems”
but if when the conversation becomes something like nessian >>> feysand or cassian >>> rhysand then suddenly all of the red flags that cassian showed in sf and even in acowar become apparent. then you guys can point out the problems in the hike, how cassian treated nesta horribly, wasn’t attentive. how cassian sexualized her body, and used her body, how he wouldn’t even give nesta sugar even though she was literally suffering through something adjacent to an eating disorder, where she wasn’t eating or practicing self-hygiene. now you see how he doesn’t tell nesta that she is loved, how he calls her out of her name, how he repeatedly disrespects her boundaries.
it is abuse. say it with me: a b u s e.
it was easy for y’all to blame the 25 y/o and not the 530+ y/o who personally saw himself in charge of her mental health journey, against her wishes, locked in her in the house with him, and then made sexual comments about her while continually isolating every part of her life, and having her do things on behalf of the court and the library with no money.
and then y’all argued that more responsibility should be placed on nesta and not the immortal man who literally put himself in charge of every aspect of her life. that nesta somehow deserved that bc she was difficult. that argument is deranged. i don’t give a shit how ‘difficult’ nesta was,’ she is still the victim. that you guys believe other wise belies a fundamental understanding of abuse and domestic violence
and it wasn’t like writing a 2000+ words of textual evidence, scene by scene parallels was enough -- nah. all we have to do is realign the conversation a character v. character debate and suddenly it becomes very clear.
and as i said, i always fucking knew y’all saw the problems, even when y’all called them ridiculous. but if the conversation was removed of y’all hate for nesta and recontextualized as a feysand v. nessian argument all of a sudden you guys can see the abuse. its absolutely disgusting.
and even then, the acknowledgement of these issues is only because you want to laugh at nesta for being in that abusive predicament. because of course these issues only matters when your trying to prove a tit-for-tat point about what batboy is better. cassian was abusive. the hike was one of the most disgusting act of abuse in that book.
and this matters bc literally we watched a man -- a famous actor -- sue the woman who he abused, and then have the whole world argue that she deserved the abuse because she was a difficult woman. we saw her sa be mocked, her trauma dubbed ‘not realistic enough bc thats not how real victims act, we saw people fandomize a grown real life man (a HASBEEN) and it has now set a trend where abusers are suing their victims arguing the SAME argument, it matters. we watched as RAPE threats were suddenly ‘okay’ bc the victim was ‘difficult’ that the 20 something y/o somehow how more power and money than the the man twice her age, with triple the funds.
y’all are absolutely disgusting and i will NEVER take any of u anti nesta people seriously like y’all are nasty people.
y’all tried.
#anti cassian#not a safe place for him and his ppl#anti acosf#anti sjm: nesta archeron#anti sjm: pro nesta
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its been a couple of days since i made the tough choice to cut ties and temporarily walk away from a place that i love really really deeply.
but i’ve had some time to reflect and come to some conclusions about myself.
now excuse me while i vent out loud:
1) the phrase “once an addict, always an addict” is true. just because i don’t take pills anymore doesn’t mean i haven’t found a way to feed the craving of being addicted to something. im not 100% sure what that addiction is; maybe it’s that im a sucker for pain, maybe it’s i can’t walk away when i know i should, maybe it’s fucking caffeine (it’s 97% caffeine).
2) everyone heals and handles things differently. again, back to my past with addiction; some addicts can heal with still being able to be around the thing they are addicted to. i learned a long time ago, i am not that person. i have a hard time knowing when to walk away, but once i do… its like breathing fresh air. it hurts like a bitch sometimes but its also one of the best things for you. sometimes we get so blind with those rose colored glasses on, that we truly can’t see our own faults until we step back and reflect
3) i’m an angry person. i always have been and probably always will be. i’ve dealt with a lot of shitty things in my life. i’ve lost people who didn’t deserve to be taken away. i’ve watched some of the most vile humans get away with horrible offenses. i have been abused and assaulted. i’m angry. and there’s little i can do to shake that anger. however, i can control it. i can lock it away and deal with it in a healthy manner than just let it explode all over the place.
4). God knows what’s best for you. now, i don’t mean to get all religious on yall. i have struggled with my faith for years. I went through a period of time of questioning who God is and what his intentions are. If this great and almighty God sent his son to die to end our suffering… why are people still suffering? I still struggle with my faith, but i am relearning to put my trust in him and know that He is putting things in my life he knows I can overcome.
And finally,
5) never feel bad for doing things for yourself. i have been so well trained to put other peoples feelings above my own. for years, i have bit my tongue and told myself “i can’t say that, that’ll hurt their feelings” and let people continue to roll over me. believe it or not… i hate conflict. i hate awkward situations. i hate feeling like im being suffocated and i can’t breathe. i have become more vocal (good and bad thing) in speaking up when i have been hurt. it’s a slow learning process and sometimes it comes back to bite me in the ass cause i’m thrust into another situation i don’t know how to handle and the anxiety builds and then there’s tears and all that shit. but i have learned i should never feel bad for doing things for myself.
anyway, i know this is just a long ass vent that nobody is gonna read, but i hope maybe, just maybe this reaches someone who has been feeling the same way i have these past couple months.
i know not everyone has a great support system in real life that they can rely on when things get hard. i can honestly tell you that without some of the people in my everyday life and online life being there and helping me and offering me an ear to listen while i vent and scream at the world… i don’t think i’d still be here. but i want yall to know, if you need a place to vent and scream at the world, i am here for you. and i’ll do whatever i can to get you the help and resources if you need it. or if you just wanna get shit off your chest.
i’m here for you.
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I finally finished reading Catch-22 (I loved it, it’s ridiculous but it makes sense) so now I can read my last library book (it’s a Poirot one!) I’m feeling more on track writing wise too. I wrote the next chapter of the sibling verse and the powers one, and I started Mastermind. I was going to write the fake dating fic too, but I’m wondering if this is the last chapter so I’m hesitant to move forward right now… CoAi week is still the same. I’m on the last prompt and I just don’t know *sigh
Update: I really really really wish people would tag MCD. That would be really fucking great for me. And while we’re at it, I fucking wish y’all would tag the canon ship too. I’m so fucking triggered I can’t deal with it. I fucking hate this bullshit. Look I get why people write these fics and good for them, but I fucking hate them. They hold no value to me and I don’t like them and I’ll never like them. I’m so pissed right now and I can’t even do anything about it cause I support an author’s choice to write whatever the fuck they want. I just really fucking hate when it’s this same fucking shit again. I’m so over it. I’ve read it so many fucking times already. I know you can say the same about my fics too, which is why I never encourage anyone to read my fics cause it’s the same shit. I’m just fucking over it. I was having a pretty good day too till this bullshit. I hate it here. I’m gonna hope I can calm down enough to read my book and forget about how upset I am. I fucking wish I didn’t care so much about this ship that I get excited and read every fic that I haven’t read before. Tags my beloved, when authors choose to use you are the reason why I don’t completely lose my mind every time. I had a bad feeling about it too but I didn’t trust my gut cause again I was just excited. Why the fuck is it always my queen that dies and suffers and he gets to fucking move forward with his life and get a happily ever after. I’m getting flashbacks of my lunch convo over how much I fucking hate endgame too. If you’re gonna kill someone and give the other half of the ship a happy ending why can’t it be Shiho for once? I think I know of only one fucking fic where he died and she lived and married and shit. Cause even when yall decide to kill him, she’s fucking miserable and alone. What the fuck is up with that bullshit???? So he’s allowed happiness with someone else but my queen has to suffer and only love him and fuck up her own life? Fuck this noise. That’s really what I have a problem with. I fucking hate the double standard. Yeah, I’m not calm at all. This shit needs to fucking stop. Or at the very least write the fucking reverse and even it out more. Cause literally the ratio is fucking tipped all the way over on one side. I try to read fics and encourage people to continue writing but I really can’t support this nonsense. And I’m not going to. I know we have a major silent reader problem and I hate contributing to that, but also this shit sucks and I don’t want to be an asshole and tell someone to fuck off with shit I don’t like. I don’t even like book reviews that shit on a book, why would I like it on fics where the author doesn’t even get money out of it? I really need a new fandom. One that is easy and happy and has lots of fluffy fics for me to read. I’m tired of being sad every fucking day over this ship. It’s literally every fucking day. I really don’t know why I’m still here. I’m too weak to do this.
Update 2: one thing to be happy about I guess. I think it’s not technically true cause of all the fics under our tag that are really for the canon ship. But we have more CoAi fics than canon ship ones on ao3? Wow. I’m kinda surprised with the canon ship propaganda going strong still. Yeah I’m still very much annoyed over fics in our tag that are really written for the canon ship. So in my eyes we haven’t surpassed them. I started reading my book and I’m still annoyed *sigh this is gonna be a long night
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Sally face >:3
the cameras thar Addison installed have eyes on them on Larry's side mr Addison sus frrr /hj
me after looking up a tutorial and still being lost
How do I activate the runes on floor three raghhh
I DID KT
thank God for light bulbs existing I'm so much less scared rn
guys I don't like this ://
Sodas gonna be okay right ://
also where's uhhh I think her name is maple she's gone that's sus
HEYYY UHH SWITCHED TO LARRYS SIDE WHY ARE CHUG AND SODA ALL FADED
WAIT THAT MEANS THEIR NOT POSSED RIGHT ??
SO THEYLL BE FINE
RIGHT GYYS
oh 304 is just fucking gone on Larry's side
the mirror in Todd's bathroom where the red eyes demon appeared in chapter two is shattered
why dids Todd's parents toilet have the void
Why doesn't it let me access the full rooms I can't go into the bedrooms
I dislike that all kf the suspicious ppls houses r not able to be accessed (charley, packerton)
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE GOOP ITS POSSESION GOOP I KNOW IT
Nvm I gor into packertons place
Theres nothing here tho ??
What the florp
I got it to work at the last second bruh i suck at the guitar bits
Mm circles
all the mirrors are shattered actually
did Mrs Gibson die 💀
I'm pretending to understand what's happening
FUCK THE GUITAR BITS R SO HARS
I'm definitely missing stuff :/
-GUYS NO FUCKING WAY WAS I RIGHT ABOUT ADDISONCBEING SUS ??
Addison: a young boy stands at the threshold of oblivion
Unkoen green voice: MEXMERIZED BY THE ETERNAL ABYSS
-Ph what the fyck this is creepy
-UHHHHH
SO MR ADDISON IS SUS
"SO how long have you been like this"
*slowly slides away*
what the fuck
Litterally nothing could've prepared me for this
This reminds me of fullmetal alchemist bro
Goop
ADDISON IS THE POSSESSY DUDE I thought it was The red eyed demon is the red eyed demon possibly an extension?
Im
Having trouble processing this I seriously thought Mr Addison was not actually gonna be sus.
NO WHAT THE HELL
I HATE THIS GAME
DUDE I CAN BARELY DO THE FUCKING PILLAR THINGIES
FUCK SHIT BALLS ASS
I paused the game and forgot I was doing this lmao
THIS IS SI HARD
t h e r e s m o r e
Bruh I'm gonna larry
I did IT
hey guys wtf
MURDER EVERYONE IN THE APARTMENRS ??
OKAY BUT NOT SODA AND CHUG RIGJT CUZ THEY DONT HAVE THE POSSESY GOOP
"I don't think I can do this. Please don't make me do this terrence" guys what if I just delete the game
Omori core (white room with knife)
This isn't girlypop guys
"Goal: kill"
what if I'm crying
I HAVE TO KILL TODDS PAEENRS
I HAVE TO KILL MY DAD AND LISA
NO
Why do I feel so fuckijg guilty it's a video game
SAL NO CHUG AND SODA ARE INNOCENT THEY ARWNT POSSESED
The lack of music
Like complete silence except for footsteps
Makes this so much more painful
Killing soda is what opened the floodgates of tearss
"Youknow, I may not say this enough, but I'm proud of you, sal. You've come a long eay and I know it hasn't all been easy." Fuck. This hurts.
If Larry hadn't kms lsal would've had to kill him..
"I look at you now and I'm excited about the man you arebecoming. K think youve for a bright future ahead of yoj. I reallt do"
Haha funny joke I'm sobbing hea about to fucking kill you and then (prolly) get excuted. I hate this game.
Ih fuck not Todd
ASH I FUCKING WISH YOU WERE IN THOSE APARTMENTS YOU ARE THE FUCKING WORST I HATE YOJ
ENON DIED
FUCKING HELL
ThIS IS BECAUSE THE CULT RIGHT
TBATS A FAKE
SHIT
SHIT SHIT SHIT
FUCK
The music fading out
Fuck
ASH IDC UR STILL FUCKIJG WRONG
Wair no but I know her idea won't work bc like ik sal dies
Do NIT play memories and dreams rn
ASH NO SHUT THE FUCK UP- AHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOWBTHIS IS YOUR FAULT, YOU HAD THREE YEARS YOU WAITED TILL THE LAST FUCKING SECOND
hey guys what the fuck
What the genuine fuck
Like okay I knew he died from before I started the game but
This still kinda hurts ngl
Fuck
Why couldn't they just like
Be happy
STOP ISBTHAT WHY I KEEP SEEING FANARTS WITH CLOCKS THAT SAY 6 33/18 33 ON CLOCKS YALL ARW DEVIOUS
Acheivment: suffer
Re you fuckin kidding me I mean I am suffering but God damn
Wait yea that's a good point wtf happened to Larry's body
Ash jm going to allow you go try to redeem herself but it's gonna be hard
NKO U HAVE TO PLAY AS HER :(
Travis is the cult member on the inside yea?
-"Oh gizmo is still alive, thats good at least!" [He hadn't left your room since the execution. It's like he knows] guys what the fuck
maple..
Pookies j do not remember the shed code
travis is still alive at least..
YALL I JUST REALIZED THE LIL PUZZLR BOX THING FROM THE TREE HOUSE A LONG TIME AGO ?? NEVER EXPLAIJED
great fucking job ash now Larry's gone bc of you too (actuslly I don't blame her for this one bc Larry wanted it yk)
girly just casually has a c4
Went into the temple
2nite wasn't great updates since I was just talkin eith the below user lmao
@mypinterestgotbannedsoimherenow
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I am once again reminded you are a real human being
My bad gang I’m sorry
Do not let them get to you
compiling these 3 specifically because theyre all probably about the fact that i said i was tired of getting intentionally trollish asks, so let me explain myself a bit more xP. its a lot because i love to talk
you guys shouldnt be too sorry! i did intentionally encourage these a few times, especially during the #mod 🫒's purgatory thing. because well, as a part of what i do on my blogs and streams I am a clown. i intentionally play as a sort of over-exaggerated feed-the-trolls fool because i think it makes me funnier. but the main issue is that I didn't set a proper boundary between intentionally goofy oliver and genuine human being oliver. This is a direct consequence of having everything be on my personal blog and not relegated to sperate spaces.
the sheer volume of asks ive been getting lately has made keeping up difficult and well. guys im kind of tired of answering nonsense or trollish asks. i'm not witty enough! i'm out of jokes! i've been riffing off of anons every day for like a month! and it is my fault for not just deleting stuff but i do appreciate when you guys want to joke around with me
okay. uh here is the part that is the Straws that Broke the Camel's Back. I can't tell when you guys are joking anymore. I can't gauge how much of the anon "hate" is jokes and how much of it is genuine. I can only tell for sure if it's like my friend saying it. If it isn't clear to me that a friend sent in an ask, it reads as if a stranger sent it. And I can't tell if a stranger is being genuine or not because I don't know you. a key example is the person who said something along the lines of "of course you're a skeleton if you're a vegetarian" which didn't read as a friendly jab but rather a stranger making assumptions about my diet to blame me for my body issues. i assume the anon just saw that those were both things the funny ask answering guy was talking about so they were free game for making fun of. kind of my fault though because as i said, there isnt enough of a boundary between when im being comedic and when i'm being genuine.
so like. tldr in conclusion i love receiving and answering asks and I did sort of have this policy of responding to Every Single One that I just can't do anymore and now I'm suffering from the horrible affliction that is "Bit That's Gone On For Way To Long" with a side effect of not wanting to go back on my word. and now that i actually want to be Real on Main people are going to try and bring it back to jokingly antagonizing me not realizing that it just becomes actual antagonizing when it's not about something i consider a joke. so im just gonna place down some boundaries
streams are a good time to send in silly asks, im in bit mode for that
i also dont take anything seriously on the oscc but please dont bother the other mods about it
im not responding to every ask anymore. Lol. if i cant think of anything funny its going into the void
might also start blocking anons who say shit that is Weird ! no more taking literally everything in good faith
you guys can still send silly asks i just want you to like. roll it back on the whole jokingly being mean to me thing. friends are exempt of course just make it clear that its YOU and not Internet Stranger #66951284
anyways love yall but also i dont know yall. or. most of yall. i accept the anon's apology👍
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dime the takes. por favor.
*gets real close to the vending machine* quiero pepsi
okay all seriousness tho imma try to do this in a way thats like idk semi respectful towards janeway but i also need yall to know i do NOT reallyf fuck with her. idk if ive explained why before but i guess here we go
unlike most people that enjoy star trek i didnt really get into it till 2018 and then the demmy hit n i had nothing but time to consume every star trek imaginable and thats how i found voyager. yeah sure make fun of me for not knowing what star trek is but i need YALL to know that it is white and usamerican culture to be raised on trek and I DONT CARE. the only reason i got into star trek is bc a white friend introduced me. all this to say i was introduced to janeways actress through oitnb red ilu so much red best evil white lady <3
anyways i know janeway gets hate for having been the only lady captain and i always preface anything i say about her with this so yall understand that this is not the reason i dislike her but in reality it doesnt help either
also its tiring as fuck to include my opposing argument but it has to be done bc ppl are like “what about- pkay but you didnt consider how- yeah but- actually youre wrong bc-“ like fuck man im doing my damndest i literally hate voicing my opinions bc yall INSIST people of color dont actually get it n its tiring
if youve followed me since i started voyagerposting you may have noticed ive only actually drawn janeway twice and its cuz as a person she rubs me the wrong way for so many reasons
janeway gets put in this impossible position of being the top of the hierarchy pyramid to a crew that doesnt think theyll ever make it home again. shes deemed a mother figure by a LOT of characters but im gonna talk abt her dynamics with b’elanna, and seven because if i were to talk about the dynamics between janeway and harry thatd have to be its own post
when i get into a show, i loooveeee knowing what was happening behind the scenes because i love it!! i love set design i love character design i love costume design i love seeing what the actors are like outside of the show and how they feel about these characters bc these things ARE important. (writers too pero i have beef) behind the scenes is the biggest influence to the final product bc its the reason the final product exists in the first place and behind the scenes so many things went wrong. and when actors are mistreated or dont get along with eachother it becomes pretty apparent. well at least if you analyze things the way i do
so heres my issue with janeway seven and b’elanna. b’elanna is typecast to be the ugly character. klingons gave always gotten the short end of the stick and the case with her isnt as harsh bc her actress is a mixed puerto rican (information that has actually only recently been revealed bc when i tried to find out what roxan’s ethnicity was in 2019 i literally could not find anything definitive except for shes latina) but she STILL gets a lot of shit
one of my favorite things about voyager before the introduction of seven was how b’elanna and janeway actually got to bond a lot over science and when seven took on the roll of pretty girl on the ship, b’elanna and janeway suffered a LOT for it. we have an interesting dynamic between a maquis engineer and a federation captain genuinely not getting along bc b’elanna doesnt see janeways as an authority figure. not until chakotay has something to say about it and also until b’elanna and janeway actually talk about shit n get over their differences. the issue is when ppl purposely skip the earlier seasons to get to seven and then a lot of important interpersonal character building is missed I SAY THIS BC PEOPLE OFTEN FORGET THAT VOYAGER HAS BEEN ASSIMILATED BY THE BORG BEFORE AND EVEN THE WRITERS LET IT SLIP THEUR MIND N ITS LIKE BRO U HAVE GOLD TO WRITE WITH N U JUST LET IT COLLECT IN THE CORNER
seven is a unique and interesting character when she is first introduced. seven looks like any other borg and is so COOL. and then immediately all the cool interesting things about the way seven looks is basically negated to a few shiny parts. and yes janeway is partly to blame
BUT! what is the easiest way to gain the trust of people who already have bad history with who you once were? assimilation of course! seven goes from being one of many to the outcasts outcast
but punkbxt! what does any of this have to do with why you dislike janeway as a character? if anything it sounds more like you dislike seven. as long as the character is white ill always hold a lil disdain for them in my heart <3
janeway symbolizes the best of starfleet. she is an accredited officer and an extremely capable scientist. she is a beautiful white woman in THE position of power something that was revolutionary for her time. the issues with white women being put in positions of power is they they have NEVER had the interests of black and brown people to heart. “yes they-“ SHUT UP and let me speak before you decide to comment on this goddamn post
feminism throughout the centuries has focused on white women and while a show is merely a fraction of the lived reality of its time the effects are still extremely clear. white feminism JUMPED at the character of janeway and celebrated her and rightfully so! the issues came about when women like b’elanna got attacked and pushed to the side. this directly affected janeway within fandom and she got and still is recognized for accomplishments SHE DID NOT DO. she got put on a pedestal and once that happens to a character they suddenly can do no wrong. except she does because shes a human and shes white and shes a character with writers behind her
b’elanna has never actually been a super popular character and the wave of love for her is actually pretty fucking recent and not to toot my own horn but i definitely was a big part of the b’elanna love resurgence. when i got into voyager and these dates ARE important, i used to scroll through her entire tag easily a couple times through a DAY. fans occasionally created art for her and yeah! she got fics but nowhere in comparison to her other peers. surrounding yourself with people who also love her and want to create for her does help with recognition of b’elanna but its super recent stuff. and to add onto that any white fan that has an opinion about her will always be biased because they just do not understand what it is like to exist as a latina woman of color
this is where me myself and i come into the story because wowowowowow star trek is so cool! star trek preaches on and on and on about diversity love acceptance hate oppression and all that good stuff so who wouldnt love it??? and then??? OMG THERES A LATINA CHARACTER IN ONE SERIES OMG OMG OMG. imagine my disappointment when i found out that she a main character barely was getting any love. it hurt. because even within a narrative of inclusion somehow characters of color just seem to always be pushed to the side. especially when a fandom has such a majority percentage of white people
watching her story was SO personal to me. i could see myself in her struggling with living in america. i lived my childhoods in puerto rico and in many different parts of usamerica, surrounded by family and people like me until that wasnt the case anymore. i spent my life living as a nomad with no place to call home for on average no less than a year and no more than three. i could understand b’elanna with her struggles of living in a klingon monastery and then being thrust into an unforgiving and unaccepting world where humans/white people are the most important. the internalized racism that i grew up with was horrendous and to this DAY i am still trying to learn and better myself and connect with my culture in any way i can. because in a black ans white world, where is the space for those of us that dont fall under either? we are ignored and erased and with b’elanna is has been the same
the rejection b’elanna had to her klingon side was something i could relate to incredibly. but it still isnt enough. because even though i could connect with her through her klingon-ness, her latinidad is simply a label. throughout the show you see her change and grow and assimilate to the federation standard and it HURT. the narrative that i was directly picking up from her story was yeah you can be a part of the club but only if you do it how we want you to do it. and dont you EVER even talk about being latino unless its to shit on your deadbeat of a father. and i did. i learned how to adapt at an extremely young age. ive been told its one of the things i do best (sad isnt it?)
and okay how do seven and janeway have anything to do with this? well they are the white women who we literally have to conform to and for. thats it period
seven as a character had an amazing opportunity to challenge gender and sexuality because of her story (one that would have been better suited had she been an indigenous woman which ive spoken on before but thats for another post too) and then the people in charge decided that she just HAD to be the sexywoman instead of leaning into just how much she was no longer human and how humanity itself doesnt actually have one right way to be
this narrative is given to us by janeway time and time and time again correcting seven and telling her that seven simply is not himan enough and still has to learn. (things autistic ppl can suuuuuper relate to which is a reason i could connect with seven at all). no matter how you want to look at it (whatever canon you want to decide isnt canon anymore for the sake of a fucking ship) janeway was directly written to be a mentor and mother figure to seven. janeway is there to help her learn when in reality she can never understand what its like to be an outcast within the federation and to take it a step further be part of a eace which is treated with hostility by humans. something b’elanna CAN understand and relate to because at the time of voyager shits still om the rocks between klingons and humans. janeway pushes seven to accept and embrace humanity as if thats the only option seven has to become a better character but its just not true. the story woven between janeway and seven is one of white women and femininity and how to be the perfect white woman and how to be a good lover. by actively ignoring the help and influence b’elanna could have provided for seven to learn and adapt to a majority human world they put all that weight on janeway. something that affects ALL three of them negatively and results in a narrative of “well b’elanna could never understand and relate to seven in a way that matters” which is beyond true because they are so interwoven even unintentionally so. it simply just wasnt taken further and its a true shame
and this isnt even touching on how badly seven’s actress was treated by janeways actress for being the pretty new doll at the time of filming and how that affected how i felt about janeway/seven as a ship (similarly how castle and beckett did not get along behind scenes i could no longer enjoy that show anymore)
i simplified this IMMENSELY and this shit is already long enough as it is so im sorry about that but yeah thats it. also sorry if things got repetitive ive been told i tend to do that when i write. these are my feelings and i am a real human behind this account so keep in mind how you react to this post. i have recieved countless hate anons most of which ive deleted throughout my short lived time as a fan of this franchise. i used to be MUCH more vocal about representation within star trek and people got mad so i left. but im back because the people that love b’elanna and that love that i have things to say about her matter so much fucking more than any angry person ever will
#to add a lil statistics to it b7 barely breaks 200 fics on ao3 and numbers like that classify them rarepair within a fandom as big as trek#AND I BARELY TOUCH ON THE SHIPPING ASPECT TOO LOL#b’elanna torres#seven of nine#captain janeway#star trek voyager
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ok i have an oreo on one hand and a shark plushie on the other, lets do this
trimax volume 8 (pls dont hurt me)
thoughts
BUT BEFORE THAT, ACTUAL QUESTION: how are the 1st timers holding up? yall doing good?
ok now long post is here
chap 1:
-oh that title page its SO FUCKING GOOD
-MY BOI HES HERE
-oh hes not....doing it by choice.....oh
-legato looking like a pizza pocket is the comedy relief we all need tbh
-GET HIS ASS VASH GET HIS ASSSSS
-oh my geesus i heard that, i felt that shit
-"they abuse us" and here you are knives...doing the same shit
-OH THANK GOD YOURE HERE
-could you look less happy while doing this shit knives? pls?
-something something divine punishment from the skies, something something yeah ofc not anyone can do that shit
-oh hey why is he with them i actually forgot
-aw :3 i wonder who taught him to not shoot to kill :3
-also pls leave him alone hes not just a killer pls youre hurting my feelings-
-:c
-STOP VASH DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT HOLY SHIT
-rem mention :c
-knives can you stop being right for a second, thanks
-the arm...wow
-OH YES ITS THIS MOMENT YES
-i dont remember what the other translation said but "that was the day we both lost our minds"....yeah im gonna sit with this one for a bit and cry cuz its true, they did
-oh yeah i didnt get this the 1st time lets try again :D
-ohhhhh....oh shit
-i hate siding with knives on this chapter but i cant help it. i also love the idea of being even
-also he looks so fucking cool while being evil, cool points for you knives
-"invasion" and it ends with him looking at the stars/nightsky? brilliant
chap 2:
-STOP BEING RIGHT KNIVES
-ALSO STOP DISTRACTING ME FROM WOLFWOOD TIME
-ah yes, the classic, sweetest, full of angst potential "i will remind of you of your home and how you dont belong there anymore" card, good to see you here
-oh god i forgot about this part, geesus
-ah crap i love this tho, gives you time to actually take in everything that knives is causing. its so easy to gloss over it with some quick panels but to actually take the time...i love it
-ok ik they get absorbed by knives but the idea of them flying away and being free (for a bit) is so pretty, im happy for them
-...geesus christ
-YES MY GIRLSSSSSSSSS :D
-it makes you wonder what they did to stay alive actually, like you never think of that stuff ig
chap 3:
-wait they didnt know???? hold up....yeah ig that makes sense but...hmmm
-YEAH YOU TELL THEM LUIDA >:D
-:c
-ALSO interesting how the borders didnt go black to represent a flashback, so maybe it wants to show how present is that memory in luida's mind. wow
-"maybe hes been waiting for us to come and help him" aaaand thats enough to make me tear up, im the weakest bitch on the planet let me tell you
-YES SEE LUIDA GETS IT
-GET WRECKED BY THE EXISTENCE OF GOOD PEOPLE ASSHOLE
-OH MAN HES BREAKING
-COOL ASS PANEL ALSO
-oh shit so he hit some plants oh shit oh damn
-AH SHIT
-omg she looks so epic while killing people <3
-THERE HE IS HERE WE GO YES GO GET YOUR HUSBAND
-oh look its the man in the tin can lmao
chap 4:
-KILL HIM WOLFWOOD KILL HIM
-HALF A YEAR???? damn i always forget, this is still going at the speed of light tho
-aw no :c my baby :c
-then again i like that you can see that even if it was just half a year (literally nothing for vash) it still caused him pain and suffering, 10/10
-GEESUS BRO HE JUST GOT FREE
-oh shit oh shit no
-im not really sure how he escaped legato but im glad :D also vash is longgggg i lvoe it :3
-well thats just depressing livio
-pls leave livio
-KILL HIM KILL HIMMMM
-ok but vash being basically a ragdoll rn while wolfwood is fighting and bleeding breaks my heart let me tell you
-wolfwood shut the hell up ok? shut up, i dont wanna hear it
-oh im going insane :) i hate wolfwood so much rn (his crime was to say sad things)
-OH IT WAS HERE I ACTUALLY FORGOT THIS WAS THE MOMENT AWWW HOLY SHIT MY BOY
-YES SAVE YOUR HUSBAND
-"youre not lost wolfwood" wolfwood saying all that shit outloud and IK FOR A FACT vash's heart almost broke ik it i feel it
-baby dont apologize :c
-............................................................ :c
-ah fuck hes here
-WAIT HOLY SHIT THAT LIKE SHADOW OF LIGHT???? AMAZING???
-oh oh im sick to my little stomach i fear oh geesus my boy, my baby, im so happy that wolfwood is all you need but also im so sad you dont have anything else, do i make sense?
-threatening you brother and begging him to not sacrifice himself in the same breath...knives the plant that you are
-woooooooooooooooooooooooooow i love that shit, hes so little...
-PLS GOD LET THIS BE IN STAMPEDE PLS PLS I WANT A SCENE WITH BOTH OF THEM IN THE SKY SO BAD PLSSSS
-im not entirely sure what is happening but damn thats nasty
-NO DONT FUCKING SAY THAT
chap 5:
-LMAO HIS FACE XD
-welp...this is terrible
-nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :c
-oh righttttt, i forgot about that plan, so thats why people called him chapel
-oh that panel with livio thats fucking brutal geesus nightow. like the old livio seems so pure and far away while the current livio is so violent and present
-my god he looks like shit
-MARLONNNNNNNNNNNNN :D
-oh meryl my girl :'3 omg shes the best
-im so depressed rn :D
-idc if hes rotting, sadly the man looks majestic af
-ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh ok
-NO DONT LEAVE PLS DONT FUCKING LEAVE PLS NO STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY
OH SHIT THIS IS FREE BIRD OH SHIT OH NO HELP HELPPPPPPPPPPPP
free bird time ig:
-freeeee biiiiird yeaah tururururururu
-wdym congratulations cmon man
-oh honey......
-awww :c
-oh wow now im DEPRESSED :D
-ugh that fucking face
-hes so cool sometimes >:D
-aw you made her cry :c
-"tired of filling a space in other peoples lives"....hmmmm
-aw :c
I hate whats coming i fucking swear.
#trigun#trimax#trigun maximum#trigunbookclub#this shit has me fearing for my life for reasons i wont mention#but MAN CAN WE GO BACK TO LIKE#VOLUME 1#OF TRIGUN#PLS#PLS IM SO SCARED
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Some of yall are cool with abuse survivors until it's unpalatable.
I have a right to hate my abuser until I want them to suffer like their victims have, or want them dead, or want to enact violence on them.
I have a right to talk about sexual assault until it was another child, or it wasn't full on rape, or it was a girl, or it wasn't the stereotypical rape of a man wearing a ski mask in an alley way.
I have a right to speak out about it until it makes her look bad (Yeah, duh, sexually assaulting multiple people and strangling your boyfriend is gonna make you look bad)
I have a right to stand up to her until I don't fucking coddle her and treat her like a child.
I have a right to feel strong emotions about it until it can be construed as, god forbid, edgy.
I'm fucking sick of people acting like what that monster did to me and my friends wasn't that bad just because it wasn't an adult or a family member or someone in power doing those things.
She leaked my friends nudes to her group chat. She'd ignore me for weeks at a time before love bombing me again and then trying to make something sexual, but if I so much as made a sexual joke before her, she'd call me a slut and a whore in front of my friends.
She'd regularly bite me and strangle me, on the rare occasion even hit me, but because it didn't leave marks and because I didn't pass out and because I froze up, suddenly it's not considered abuse.
And I know she's done this shit to at least 2 other people I'm close with, probably more considering this is a pattern.
Tumblr is the only place I can really share all the shit she did to me. If I share it with my family my mom calls it a false memory, my dad calls it getting my feelings hurt, I can't tell my brother because he's too young and can't understand, and I'm just too scared to say everything to my sister.
If I share it at school it's slander and bullying and the SRO and counselors don't give her more than even a slap on the wrist.
If I share it on my tiktok (which I barely fucking use anyway), her mom comes crying to mine about how I'm bullying her daughter and I'm such a monster.
I can only do it here. But it won't do anything to make her get any consequences.
I fucking hate this.
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Hate words for your moon sign <3
Aries moon- i seem to attract them, which is a problem because i hate these fuckers. Immature, selfish and irresponsible, they are oblivious to the fact that they need to work on themselves ( like literally all of us ) because they perceive themselves to have some sort of moral advantage for “always being right” ( my ass ). They also love weed and probably alcohol too ( cause god forbid they actually feel their emotions ). Theyre just big babies.
Taurus moon- unmovable, unshakable, will die on the stupidest of hills out of sheer stubbornness. They know everything since they were 3 and so theres no reason for them to get out of bed. Movies? Seen them all and if they havent, they already know the one you wana take them to is no good. Music? Pfft. Do you even know who bach is?
Gemini- yall have commitment issues the size of pluto and youre not doing anything about it. You are a menace. Basically draco malfoy but if he wasnt even rich and hot so he had literally no redeeming quality.
Cancer- even i, a particularly sensitive and emotional individual, cant handle your crying ass. Mommy issues WE GET IT!! Friends with this placement will make everyone in the group baby them and partners will suck your tits FLAT. Not to mention how EMO they truly are. Like 6 pete wentzs on the emo scale.
Leo- thank god none of yall seem to like me cause i swear to god you need 15 times more attention than the average human. Your redeeming quality is that youre funny. But if you dont stop acting like rachel berry im gonna laugh at you and not with you. Did i mention theater kid?
Virgo- youre so wrecked emotionally that i actually feel bad for you instead of wanna make fun of you. Like jojo siwas career. Its like you have the meanest most insidious person in your head judging every single thing you or anyone says or does or feels or thinks. Jesus christ, we all need therapy but you neeed therapy.
Libra- i dont trust a single word that comes out of yalls mouths. Youre people pleasing, co dependents, and eeeeverything must lead to you being good and nice. Youre no fun. And when you are its for other people to think youre fun. Also youre deeply delusional and limerant ( look it up ), and i can just sense you falling in love with everyone and everything for no reason. Ew.
Scorpio- listen here you piece of shit, i know you want everyone to be scared of you but im no fool. Literally no one finds you mysterious and intimidating, your just no fun. And yes, we can tell you cry to evanescence every night. Redeeming quality is that youre hot, but looks dont last and youre gonna be one cranky old peson.
Sagittarius- every time you tell i joke i can see tears behind your eyes. Youre not fooling anyone with your pseudo esoteric shit. Also chill tf out!! Please!! Youre either angry or excited.
Capricorn- like virgo, no amount of hate words coming from me will do a capricorn moon justice, because they are already hating on themselves so hard. They are under the delusion that its everyone around them that is the problem but deep inside they know, its themselves they feel bad about. And no you dont actually enjoy being productive, its just that your self worth is entirely dependent on being useful.
Aquarius- you are literally insane. The most delusional people ive met. None of your reactions make sense. You are constantly running away from being actually vulnerable and open, coming up with either brilliant or extremely dumb excuses, and your love life is suffering the consequences of your avoidant ass. At least your social life is good, but hey, at what cost??
Pisces- thank fucking god youre a rare species. Kind of like virgo, i almost dont wanna make fun of you because i feel bad. But in your situation i also have no desire to help your overly dramatic ass. Youre not just anxious, youre something on a whole new level and you probably require huge amounts of food/alcohol/tobbacco or something to keep it all bottled up. Good fucking luck to anyone who falls in love with you!! Ps if you wanna be a poet be a poet, dont be like umm UwU can i show you my poetry UwU 👉👈
If youre mad about this post, complain to my mother.
#astrology#zodiac#zodiac signs#astro#signs#aries#aries moon#moon#taurus#taurus moon#gemini moon#gemini#cancer#cancer moon#leo#leo moon#virgo#virgo moon#libra#libra moon#scorpio#scorpio moon#sagittarius#sagittarius moon#capricorn#capricorn moon#aquarius#aquarius moon#pisces#pisces moon
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Vent below if you like liu kang this post isn't for you. This is basically an anti liu kang and really angry post.
Giving y'all a warning.
Again DNI if you like liu kang or "stan" him. Or are a fire god liu kang fan. Because this post isn't for you.
Like I'm giving a warning for a reason because im not gonna be nice rn. I choose violence today ok?
Trying to cite warnings and tag this so people don't get up in arms. (Which they may anyways but hey thats on them if they click further)
Cw:vent,angry admin.
Last warning. If you like liu kang. Plz for the love of god dni and keep scrolling. But if you dont like him. And especially hate fire god liu kang. Plz Continue.
Vent below cut
If you like or stan liu kang but more so mk12/mk1 god *redacted titans derogatory* liu kang.
Kick rocks. He's an asshole. Have a nice die liu kang. 💀🗑⚰
Nah. You can miss me with that. Liu kang deserves nothing but death and suffering. In fact everyone BUT shang tsung deserves it.
Nah if yall would have gave shang something actually decent,livable,love and care,maybe a fucking decent friend that wasn't a previous roster member?,etc. None of this would be a problem. But nope. Liu kang had to be a petty whore bitch with bias agenda. Could have made him evil and made him like dark raiden. But nope you had to make him insufferable and unlikable.
Like a guy who hides behind the im nice,till you disagree or reject his ideals and suddenly you're gaslighted and given shit. Omg much like religious indoctrination. How interesting. But they dont wanna talk about that.
People don't wanna talk about how shitty the writing is. But people don't care so as long as the characters are pretty and fuckable enough. But the more things change the more they stay the same i guess.
Everytime i see mk12/mk1 liu kang i wanna spit on him and punch him and set him on fire and just want him dead and gone for good. Because i fucking hate him. I have never hated even kronika this bad,more so i felt she was a waste of potential, and redundant af. Nah He deserves die.
Like go to Super hell liu kang. Piss off with your shitty fanfic Timeline. Loser bitch ass hiding behind a fake ass smile and preaching peace. Peace my ass. Shit happened anyways. Makes fucking shinnok look like a fucking saint sweetheart in comparison.
Like im not even joking. I don't even care about his reasons. I dont even care what canon says. Or these fucking mk1 liu kang fans say anymore. Im tired.
Which we all know it's because he has weird hang ups over kitana when he could have just fucking left,said fuck it and married her anyways. She would have said yes. But he had to be weird about it,roundabout af,and make everyone suffer because he couldn't get edanian pussy.
Or it's because maybe he thinks he can do better than raiden. The arrogant prick. Nah that god dilf raised you and you give him this shit?! After all he went through?! Thi s is the thanks you give him?! Liu kang im not just disappointed in you im disappointed in the fact raiden didn't kill you off when he had the chance when he went dark. Would've Saved us a shitty game and a half.
Like liu kang did all the things and still had bad things if not worse things. Happen. Preaching peace and prosperity my ass. Fake ass ugly ass hoebag bitch. I hope he chokes on his spit in his sleep. I hope sand get in his ass and never comes out. I hope he dies from this bullshit lame tarkat disease and gets ultra mega plague. I just fucking hate it man.
The villains are lame. The story is lame. Liu kangs fanfic is lame. And nrs is lame.
I'd rather deal with the shitty 2021 movie than this shit. I'd rather deal with shitty writing in mk11 than this. Fr. At least it's entertaining shit.
And shang tsung isn't a fucking dumpster fire in the story. Shao kahn while a meathead is still terrifying. Quan chi isn't there but in 10 he was fucking beeeeeast. Shinnok. Poor shinnok. You deserve better. Cetrion was a waste. Kronika too. Geras was actually scary,but now he's a tool.
Legitimately the gameplay is just juggle better,gimmicky kameos bullshit,and same ol crap different wrapper.
Mk12/mk1? More like mk11.5 . Nothing changes thats worth the money.
I can find better shit on emulators.
Graphics aside what does the new game really truly have to offer? Nothing.
Wishful thinking. Like a bag of lays chips but unlike potato chips which is useful. This game sadly. Is not.
(Liu kang is only valid if he's from the 95 movie thats it. Fuck every other version. But even then it's thin ice at this point. Nrs has ruined liu kang for me.)
So yeah kick rocks liu kang. I hate liu kang and anyone who stans his ass rn in the story and the new game can fuck right off.
#vent#mortal kombat#this is a Liu kang hate post so dni if you like him#but more so if you like mk12/mk1 liu kang#cw vent#cw: vent#admin in not nice today#admin is not nice to liu kang rn#all this potential....wasted
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out of char
watching the amazing digital circus pilot writing down my thoughts
DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED IT YET
-ooh the change in graphics was so good
-why does Caine enter the screen like a deflating balloon you've blown up and set loose
-WHY THE HELL DOES BUBBLE TALK LIKE THAT I DIDNT KNOW IT WOULD TALK AT ALL MUCH LESS SOUNDING LIKE >THAT< DEAR GOD THAT SENT A SHOCK THROUGH ME I WAS PARALYZED FOR A FULL MINUTE JUST IN SHOCK
-the soundtrack???? It actually sounds like a kids show when they introduce them. ALSO gangle is so cute
-someone fire kaufmo bc why is he not showing up. Disrespectful. Also does it bug anyone else that they say ragathas name like raga?? No tha??? Just me, ok.
-the 'why' in the 🎶we don't know why🎶 is so good
-SOMEONE HELP POMNI OUT SHE IS SO CONFUSED
-i didn't get the Jax simps before... I'm not saying he's hot he just has sassy fav character potential
-can someone actually acknowledge pomni or is she gonna go insane by herself
-the censorship... I love how pom goes straight to swearing. Also it seems like you put I headset on and then you become a part of the circus? Like... a vr headset? Something like that?
-RAGATHA HAS NO FEET
-IM DYING CAINE IS LIKE "stop swearing girl this show is supposed to be PG 😊" and pom is just like "SHIT BITCH FUCK ASS. BITCH!!!"
-pomni is so baby
-"did someone say something about an insect collection?"
-micheal kovatch really gets all the good roles huh
-ZOOBLES VOICE. MOMMY?
-i thought pom was gonna have a panic attack instead she just spirals
-NEVERMIND. I HATE JAX. HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO GANGLE DID YOU HEAR HER VOICE IM SOBBING BABY NOOOO
-" the GROUNDS! 🎪🍓😊😁🎶 drown yourself at the digital lake 🍓🎶🎪😊"
-was not expecting a flirty moon. Huh
-bubble what. "Why are you like this..."
- I- that was an exit door. The way Caine just goes DIGITAL HALLUCINATIONS! and shuts her down makes me think Caine is keeping them there all on purpose. either that or the exit door is something evil that Caine wants to protect them from.
-"I said that like five minutes ago"
-"YOU! do you like adventure? Activity? Wonder? Danger? HORROR? PAIN? SUFFERING? AGONY? DEATH? DISEASE?! DEATH??!!! angel food cake?"
-Caine is actually insane what. YOU PARASITE!!!
-gather the gloinks has bisexual letters
-Caine is insane pt 2
-really hoping the way to defeat a gloink is to beat the shit out of it
-"oh no. They killed zooble. Anyway do you guys want to get something to eat"
Yeah I'm only at 7 minutes so I'll stop now. I'll keep going when I wanna blab about something
-CRYBABY AND HOOHAH 😭
-gangle is my favorite. I love her. She is baby.
-OH MY GOD. OHHH MY GOD. LITTLE RUNMO REFERENCE!!!
-uhh. Yall pomni isn't okay. Can someone help her out
-oh damn. The end is just pomni realizing she'll be there forever. She needs a hug
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Today is ass.
I tried to soak in the hours of quiet from the time I slept till the time I was woken by many people screaming.
It's incredibly triggering it really is the noise is too much for me to wake up to and walking around with headphones or noise blocking headphones or earplugs and fucking is annoying at this point like it hurts I get headaches my ears get clogged and these people continuously get away with doing terrible loud stupid shit and if I could move I would.
And for some reason my parents expect me to wait until September when they told me earlier dates and I honestly don't think I can handle this till September
I mean it would be better if I lived in another apartment in this complex like away from the loud noise but That's not an option.
It's way too loud.
I'm sick of crying.
I can't just walk out there and say "hey I can hear yall and everything you say inside my home"
I can't just ask them if they could be quieter.
I can't even let go outside with them in the pool without getting shouted at by the children which I can't prove because I'm too scared to record it and Get fucking attacked by these people.
And my parents do not understand what me and my neighbor understand is that these people are legitimately ratchet. And I don't hate them I just don't like the trashy behavior and the noise. It is bothering me greatly to an extent where I'm worried that it's going to cause me more health issues mental and physical and it is.
I have not had any other summers from the time I have lived here that have been this horrible.
I can't even go to the bank and get a loan and move the fuck out.
My parents do not understand.
I completely understand that they definitely do have the money but they still for some reason want me to wait.
I'm ready to find an incredibly cheap office space and somehow just fucking sleep there and come to my apartment to care for my ESA cats and pack.
I've thought up so many ideas.
I honestly am not tolerating this well at all.
I am worried for my mental health.
I'm not doing well.
I already have the extra stress before my birthday thing happening.
But now it's even more shit on top of that.
PTSD flare
Autism burnout
Situational depression type feelings
Pretty nasty intrusive thoughts
Flashbacks.
Like I just want quiet. I just want peace.
I can't fuckin eat from the stress.
And now I must wait till September.
This is going to end up breaking me. I'm so sick of it. I'm gonna get fucking evicted before September because of this shit.
There's only so much bullying from family and neighborhoods and loud careless motherfuckers I can handle.
I told everyone I was having a hard time handling it.
They said June or July.
Now it's "You're lucky if it's September"
I don't want to leave my apartment and I'm scared to without someone around or on the phone.
I can't even talk to my partner about this because it's going to be too much for him.
And everybody is treating me like I'm too much in the situation is too much but they're not the ones having to live it.
And I'm scared.
I am scared of what might happen because I am scared of myself because I do not want to flash out I do not want to have a full on PTSD episode and flip out and I don't know what will happen if I lose touch with reality during that.
That is what I am scared of and it makes me cry every fucking day because there's gotta be people screaming every fucking day.
And there is nothing I can do about it and I have to just stay here and fucking suffer
And I call our courtesy officer who is a sheriff and part of the swat team and I call BRPD and they don't do anything about the problem because the office has to fix the problem and this is bullshit
I can't even go swimming if I fucking wanted to because there's people on the pool and the next couple of days it's nasty as fuck and then turns green and then they clean it and shock it and usually on the same day that they shock the pool people go ahead and get in it anyway which is terrible for you and then I still never get a chance to go swimming and I'm supposed to be doing that
I don't want to go down to the pool after they all leave at 10:30 when the pool closes at 10
I don't want to go down to the pool after they all leave anyway because none of those kids get up and go to the bathroom they literally just let them piss in the pool and I've heard them tell their kids to just go ahead and pee in the pool.
And if I tell the office that they are gonna want a recording of it because they weren't recording of everything and they won't cameras up at my apartment and I can't afford a fucking ring doorbell
I don't have the money for all of this that they'd keep telling me to put up to prove something that is incredibly obvious and that my neighbor has complained about and still is complaining about with the office.
I mean she's trying to recover from breast cancer.
I feel like at this point I could move to the middle of the fucking ghetto and feel safer there than I do in my own apartment.
I'm tired of people treating me like I'm fucking crazy about this whole situation.
I'm not crazy and this is a problem and it's driving me insane.
I mean I have recordings of how loud these people are inside my apartment and outside of my apartment how loud they are and I have shown the office this and they don't care.
I can't wear earplugs and head phones and shit like that all day long it drives my sensory issues insane I don't like my ears messed with.
And then on top of everything I'm having a cardiac issue which is very concerning and I don't know what it is and I have to wait till the eighth to hear if my medicaid was accepted by this Heart Doctor specialist guy. And then I have to make an appointment and I don't know how soon I will be able to get in.
Meanwhile I have 2 other heart conditions that are aggravated by stress and could kill me they could just make me drop dead
And I don't know if I had an adult daughter with all the problems that I have I would be doing my damt to like at least invite her to my home where I have a spare bedroom that I don't even use because oh no the alcoholic isn't living with me so then she's got a spare bedroom so why can't I move in over there and just sleep and get some fucking piece and rest and then drive back over here to check on my cats because she would not allow me to have them in her home.
Meanwhile I'm looking at social media and seeing all of my friends go out and do wonderful things and watching all these snapchats of my friends that work normal jobs but somehow are able to travel all over the country and to other countries and You know I actually tried to go to the Netherlands and I can't find the paperwork that I need to finish my passport I can't really get my hair done because I don't have the money for that and I don't want to use box die and ruin my hair and have my hairdresser fucking strangle me once I finally get back in his chair.
And my parents were just going to give me the money to go to the Netherlands because I was supposed to be going this month.
But instead I begged them to use that money that they said that they had set aside for me to just help me get an apartment and they said okay.
But the money that they mysteriously had for my going to the Netherlands they don't have to help me move into a new place
And that doesn't make any fucking sense to me
And I don't know I don't know what's going to happen and I don't enjoy any of this and yes I've taken my fucking medicine and it's just not helping it's not helping the amount of stress that I'm under it's literally not enough of the medicine to do anything
Like yeah I'm sedated but my anxiety is still here I still want to go outside and scream at everybody I still want to fucking impulsively shave my head and scream for no reason
I literally don't even know how to explain to you the amount of pent-up stress and rage and anger and sadness and grief that I have inside me
And everybody just thinks that I'm either a piece of shit and terrible or that I'm so nice and sweet and loving and caring I'm neither of those things I don't even know what the fuck they're talking about
I'm tired of people telling me what I am and what I'm not
That's not for them to decide
Why I have to go through this why what did I do wrong
I feel like every single day is a punishment and I feel like by September I'm gonna be going fucking crazy like absolutely gonna have to check into a cycle a little crazy and I'm not tantrum big I'm telling everybody that I'm not doing well and my doctors are like oh yeah you're definitely not doing well
I have fucking notes from my doctors that my parents have read and they don't take seriously they don't care
Why should I give a fuck about myself if no one else does
I mean if I didn't have the cats I would have just left I would have just gotten in my car and packed what I needed and fucking left and I don't know where I would be right now
And I would love to foster another dog but I can't do that because my hip is fucked up and people may not see it or hear it because they don't bitch about it often in public because there's no point to tell people that you're hurting when they can't see where the coming from.
They can't believe you unless they see something wrong. And I don't always limp. I mean apparently I walked around on a fractured knee and didn't even know it for months and months and my new rheumatologist discovered that. So I don't know what's going on with my hip or my entire right leg I don't know what's going on with my heart I don't know why I'm in APTSD flare I don't know why I'm having autistic burnout I don't know why anything's happening other than yeah stress could be a giant factor there and I need to get away from the stressors that's what every fucking book tells you is to get away from what is driving you nuts but I cannot do that
I mean if I lived downstairs and I could foster a dog than I could just revolve my life around that but it would still be really fucking loud and that would make it hard for me to do anything like that
I mean I know I had a schedule and I had my own time and people treated me a little bit better when I was doing thit's not like it's a fall string and clicker training this dog that was amazing that I should have just adopted.
But I don't have the money to own a dog so that's why I would foster so someone else could own the dog.
I just don't feel like I ever get a fucking break.
I mean I haven't even gotten to go to the beach for a weekend vacation in a shitty little beach motel with friends or anything like that but it's because people don't invite me
People judge me without knowing what I'm dealing with and that's not my problem that's their problem.
And I'm so sick of dealing with everyone else's problems.
I don't know how to stop giving a fuck and I don't even know if that would benefit me at all right now like I can't turn my fucking ears off
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Happy Thursday 😊
Omggg i love that idea of reader being engaged maybe to Naoya (ik he nasty but him and his bleached hair and tight black shirt does things to me)
STOPPP THE PTSD I GOT FROM PLUG!CHOSO WAS SO DELICIOUSSSS like fr i need to send you a whole ass book report on how that fic made me see colors i didnt know existed because 😵💫 its my weakness when the angst only affects the male character and not the reader HDJSKSKA i been suffer too much in my life to want to read about a fictional me suffered so why not ruin a fictional man's life 🤷♀️ that fic came to me at a good time because honestly i was spiraling a bit over some fic i shldnt have read where reader was this pushover who got cheated on (and then threw her virginity to the man who cheated on her 💀)and i had to nope outta there so fast bc that personally aint for me, thats why im saying i looove your bimbo reader and like, she aint takin shit- she causing it 😂
Otaku!Gojo wasn't incel coded to me at all btw, in case i said smth that made you think otherwise 😭 he gen seemed like just his goofy ass self i love him so much. Also semi rare opinion but I like the virgin gojo fics because I really do think as much as gojo is such an extroverted little bug, he really does have his walls up on who he lets in emotionally 🥲 I feel like he might even have some internalized "well im not gonna date or fuck around because i dont want to drag anyone into my ugly world" hsjsjks idk i just feel like he might force himself to be lonely because he takes his responsibility seriously. Aughhhh, especially if he's in love with reader? I feel like man would be in the friendzone for years, be the best man at her wedding, and live and die loving herrrr 😭 im delulu but its just so loverboy gojo to me hehe. Also omg I have so many requests I wanna make before they close but honestly I'm secondhand exhausted from reading all the fics you already got going on LMAO
p.s your about the editor- ummmm excuse me???? YOU'RE SO GODDAMN PRETTY!!!! Like you gen have doe eyes and flawless skin I'm so jelly. Also i love the gloves w the dress 😍. You didn't ask but visually i would ship you with toji 😤 yall would have that bonnie and clyde hitman x bad bitch aesthetic going on !!
🍒 nonnie
🍒 nonny!!!! hi babes you doing good today???
LOL i totally feel you though, i wanna hate naoya so bad and then i be finding myself hate reading naoya x reader fics with a hand in my panties he's such a lil worm tho 😭
LMFAO listen i have that nicki quote in my m.list for a reason. tryna give these men trauma fr 😩. i want them absolutely SICK over us LOL! i totally get that, i hate when its a really well written fic too cause im like damn i wanna read more but i dont wanna be in my bed depressed tomorrow dkhsfliahsd.
but i feel like authors always come out a bit in our work, im definitely bimbo/brat reader. i do not take shit from these dudes irl so im not about to write reader getting cheated on or played unless reader is about to go scorched earth gone girl on their asses lmfao. like entire lives ruined lol.
also omg, yes, yes, yes. i totally agree about gojo. i actually think hes very emotionally stunted in canon, as its suggested by him, geto and sukuna in later chapters that being the strongest comes with isolation so growing up with so much expectations i feel as gojo sees himself as disconnected from others. in AUs i feel like this can manifest in him becoming more isolated. i almost feel like he's an extroverted introvert. that he probably feels more used to being isolated but still feels that need for connection. so yes friendzone for years. omg (not you making me feel bad for this man now lmfao).
You can make more if you want! like idk when im gonna get to everything cause im at the mercy of my adhd but honestly with all the fics i do have and these requests i think im pretty solid until the end of the year lmfaooo.
ALSO OMFGFGFGFGF you gonna make me cry whaaaat. tysm!! i went to a charity auction for my mba program. i work from home and im legit in a bonnet and an anime shirt 80% of the time so when i have the chance to glam up i really like to do that! ALSO WHAT!? GET OUT OF MY BRAIIIIN LOL!! So i thought of this one selfship, that i was going to make into toji x reader that was pretty much bonnie and clyde kinda relationship. but i didnt really know where the fic was going besides us causing general chaos and being super downbad for each other haha.
but omfg tsym for the long beautiful ask you're so sweet omfgbsjdbasdkj id die for you 🍒 anon you da best pookies!
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