#i hate that I can’t get over this shit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

finalhaunts · 2 years ago

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#vent #i hate that I can’t get over this shit #yes I know most people don’t have lasting relationships when they’re young #yes i know there are other people #but like time and time and time and time and time again I��ve had people leave and i’m #sick of being in this cycle #where I’m happy and then it all falls apart #usually because i ruined it by being too much #just the fact that it seems like I’m so inherently unloveable on top of everything else in my awful life #i’m just tired. I just want Something #‘’you can’t win them all’’ well i wish I could win just once #i think there’s something genuinely deeply wrong with me.#like maybe I’m just a failed attempt at a human being #i think at this point i’m not even human.#i think i’m just. a thing.#vermin. or lower than vermin #again and again I go ‘’i’ll get better this time’’ and then I end up falling into the same patterns and spirals #and I feel like such a disappointment to my friends and I’m terrified if i Don’t get better it’s just going to push everyone away #and i’ll be left alone again becsuse its just a constant fucking cycle of people leaving !!!!!#i know peoples patience run thin. i know hearing me vent all the time is draining. i’m fully well aware of just how shitty it csn be #having someone around who’s always just so miserable #and i’m scared i’m on a time limit and I have no clue when it runs out or how much time i have left #this was about one thing but it ended up spiralingninto other shit sory #its so fuckingnhard to get better especially when i’m still with my excuses of parents #i’m scared

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anothersuperstition · 7 months ago

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like five commissions would solve so many of my problems right now …. 🌀you want to commission me🌀…. 🌀you want to look at my pinned post and you want to commission me sooooo bad🌀…….

a few recent commissions ⬇️

been loving leaning into more illustration/poster work and would love to do more!!

#i’m like out of options LOL #like everyone else i’ve been applying to probably hundreds of jobs and like everyone else i can’t get SHIT #my options are 1) stay out here and suffer 2) beg my parents to help me move home and REALLY truly suffer (this one isn’t really an option)#or like 3) go lay in the dirt indefinitely idk i’m in over my head and i made a mistake moving but it’s too late to back out!#going home wouldn’t be good for anyone least of all me!#idk i feel like everyone is judging me for thinking i had it good then falling flat on my face anyways #i feel like it was some kind of sick joke that i finally for once felt stable and happy just to get it yanked away from me #and be worse off than before #sorry i’m really emotional because i’ve been going through it so hard for so long and i’m really exhausted #i hate getting on here and begging for work but idk what else to do right now #mine #arty art

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0vergrowngraveyard · 5 months ago

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the end nine’s story really was an “alls well that ends well!” moment

#graveyardtxt #it did not end well!!!#i can’t and will never get over the fact that he didn’t get a happy ending #all he got was a “ok guys do you pinky promise not to hurt nine when i leave?’’#and one (1) hug #like how many people do you think said that they’d leave nine alone just to make sonic feel better?#there had to be a least a few of them crossing their fingers #he gained almost—if not—nothing!#he got the solitude he wanted-sure-but at what cost?#possibly mental and bodily damage from the prism’s power?#there’s a brand new group of people who probably hate him or just don’t want him around?#like wtf!!! where’s his friends? where’s his happy ending?#why was he just left alone like that?#sonic i love you but this is one two tailed fox who your presence did not positively influence!!!#“but what he did was selfish >:(‘’ BECAUSE HES NEVER HAD TO THINK OF ANYONE BUT HIMSELF BEFORE!! NO SHIT HES SELFISH!! ITS HOW HE SURVIVES!!#i will never ever shut up about this #miles nine prower #sonic prime

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seventh-district · 2 months ago

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“Why’s he call you Darlin’?”

on my knees begging my brain to stop trying to associate this song with Sam

#(it’s too late guys i’ve already added it to a couple playlists. i can’t help it)#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redacted sam #redacted darlin #rp audio stuff #Seven’s Blorbo Songs #music stuff #i fell down a rabbit hole of music videos on YT last night and decided to give this song a chance based on the title obviously #skipped through all the exposition just to quickly find out if i liked the song or not #and as soon as the first line came in i went head-in-hands at my desk bc i just Knew it was over for me #i hate that i like it #it’s very repetitive and giving strong Modern/Mainstream Pop-Rap-Country vibes #but i’m not too proud to admit that i eat that shit up on occasion #‘You’ve been beatin’ ‘round the bush so much you’re knockin’ off the leaves.’ goes kinda hard tho i’m ngl #‘ole boy in a Ridgeline and i drive a Chevy’ would Sam be a truck elitist? hmm #i doubt it. i see him as too practical-minded to care about brand names and shit like that #like irl i think it’s very silly. and perhaps a little questionable to hate on a ‘foreign’ vehicle. but i don’t even like trucks at all so #insecure country boys and their obsession with big trucks are ruining the road for us regular people that just want a normal ass car #but i’ll stop before i go off on a rant about america’s transportation problems #anyways. i can separate reality from fiction and i love the image of Sam in a beat up beloved old truck. cliché as it may be #getting back on track. my POINT was that the song doesn’t even necessarily fit Sam’s vibes i just. can’t undo the association #been trying to think of a way for it to fit him but that would require Darlin’ to be cheating on him and i don’t like that thought #like i love some types of angst but cheating isn’t one of them #i could view it through the context of being directed at Alexis bc i already hate her lmao but once again it doesn’t fit in canon #and i don’t know how i feel about the thought that he used to call her Darlin’ too. though it’s very possible. mmm angst #not that it has to fit with canon for me to attach a song to a character. certainly not! but i need to make it work in my mind Somehow #and i can’t even come up with a good HC to make this fit. the idea of Jealous!Sam is fun in theory but idk if i’d like it practice anyways #tldr: does this really fit canon Sam? meh. Is it forever tied to him in my mind anyways due to the use of the petname Darlin’? absolutely.#anywho. one of these days i’ll open this app to do something other than vent post or yap abt rp audio blorbos. but that day is not today!

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pinkfey · 3 months ago

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me when the boy savior the boy saved everyone: 🤯🤯🤯

#me when the boy savior loops time over and over and over to keep the girl he hates and loves and grieves and forgives from killing herself #me when the boy savior risks everything and pushes time beyond its limit as the entire city sits paralyzed around him so he can save them #me when the boy savior who serves as an atlas figure and monolith for all that has happened in zaun + to jinx and has harbored so much #jaded anger as he’s yearned and grieved for all that could have been while pushing himself to fight for better things finally gets to fix #part of what went wrong (saving jinx and choosing to see her as someone who can change Again <- feeling that is part of what Made him so #cynical in the first place bc his friend was Gone and how is a kid supposed to grapple w that while still trying to be a beacon of hope??)#and solidify himself as the last and only hope in the end (which is what he always was and always was going to be) <333 #my arcane s2 criticisms are glaring but i still have ekko goggles on #ah shit i just remembered the firelights were snubbed in favor of the half baked jinx revolutionaries. damn.#like don’t we remember why he was the boy savior in the first place. ah fuck. damn.#nvm i can’t think about it i’m going to get mad 😭#anyways.txt #arcane spoilers

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xbuster · 1 month ago

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This is beyond “you are not immune to propaganda.” This is “you are willfully taking the bait and refusing to let go because owning the libs is what you base your entire brand of online activism on and to that end you are willing to praise fascists.”

Trump did not magically negotiate a ceasefire deal 5 days before his inauguration by coincidence. I refuse to believe there is anyone stupid enough that they can recognize Netanyahu as a fascist, but can’t see how he would hold off on accepting a ceasefire deal all the way until right before Trump’s inauguration in order to prop up another fascist government that will let him finally raze all that’s left of Gaza to the ground. This is a deliberate attempt to spite liberals over real analysis of the negotiation.

#libs can be terrible on a lot of things but american conservatives are genuinely on another level that makes them a far more dangerous evil #and if you can’t see that netanyahu has been talking with trump behind the scenes to get this ceasefire #RIGHT before trump steps into office so he can have better favorability with americans going into 2025 to get all his horrible shit rolling #you are either the world’s biggest idiot or you’re evil too #I hate these performative ‘lefties’ SO GODDAMN MUCH #this need to be better than liberals so much that they’re willing to lift fascists over them #is exactly what what we criticize about liberal smugness #this person isn’t leftist

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noirandchocolate · 22 days ago

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Been getting an influx of obvious spam/porn bots and also blank blogs in my follows the past couple weeks so I guess this is a good time to state my policy on the latter again:

I don’t block blank blogs that follow me on sight if they have usernames that look like a person might’ve chosen them (ie not a random mash of letters and numbers). This is because it’s possible these blogs might be real users brand new to tumblr (or newly remaking etc).

However, I do go back and check and if after 1-2 weeks (whenever I remember to check) the blog still has not been customized with an icon etc and still has zero content, even likes? Blocked. If it has likes or other content but those seem…sus to me in very specific ways I won’t get into? Blocked. This is because I have decided that either the blog is a bot, is not intending to truly use tumblr anytime soon, or may be something more annoying or outright harmful specifically to me.

So if you’re new to tumblr and just followed me, hi! Please start using tumblr by reblogging and liking posts! I hope you’ll enjoy your time here. But…I’ll block you if you don’t actually use your blog. Sorry!

#kidk says stuff #I have a long-time stalker who loves to make new blogs to do nothing but harass me with threats and gobbledegook #she disappears sometimes for years at a time (she’s on hiatus from me now as far as I know) but when she comes back!#ohhhh I know her when I see her even when she hasn’t started sending me shit yet #but if you do NOTHING with your blog so I can’t tell? I block so if you’re her you never get the CHANCE to bother me #((details available on request for mutuals—it’s a wild story))#I also have another stalker but i don't block her bc i think she'd go ballistic in a non-funny way if she discovered i blocked her #so I just endure her in my inbox occasionally. she otherwise uses tumblr normally afaik. i don't stalk HER after all so idk #it’s so funny how weirdos have gravitated to me over the many years. I have storiiiies…these two and otherssss...#I just vibe in my corner and people decide they hate me. kind of amazing really.#oh ps when I say long time I mean the situations predate tumblr’s existence. these people have stalked me on *multiple websites*#for *decades*#((meanwhile my *funniest* stalker hasn't found me on tumblr that i know of and hopefully stopped stalking me manymany years ago))#((but that story was bizarre in a genuinely hilarious way on top of being creepy as hell. truly one for the books.))#((when i say i've had weirdos...i mean it.))

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mylove-thresher · 19 days ago

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Never,imd im fucking crying and I just got home

#My ma rearranged my decor in my room and broke shit while I was away #Specifically my Sanrio collection #I’m going to fucking kill myself I hated today #I keep feeling so jealous of this girl but only bc she’s really cool and it pisses me off bc I wanna be as friendly as her #She did a presentation and everyone was so all over her we wasted 30 minutes instead of what should’ve been 5 mins #And I also feel so fucking pathetic bc she brought food and everyone enjoyed it while I was disgusted by it #Bc I’m so picky w food and I hated how it looked and I don’t even eat vegetables #But everyone was so happy and I just can’t get over it bc I wish I took part in it but I just stayed away #While everyone looked at me weirdly for not wanting to eat the food she brought #I’m against myself at this point what is wrong w me shit #I don’t want to talk to anyone about anything esp not my parents and ik they’re gonna be annoying as hell #I drew on the blackboard w some chalk and it looked rlly good and then this girl I liked just went ahead and erased it on ourpose #After I told her I drew it all proud and shit like it genuinely hurt me and she was just joking around #Forget whatever the fuck I said yesterday I’m hopeless and I should just simmer in my own misery inside my room #I shouldn’t be feeling like this but I can’t help it and I really hate it #I’m sorry for making so many vent posts lately but I’d rather tell some strangers on the internet that I kinda like instead of irl people #I’m so scared of being fr w people ik

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mskinkyafro · 7 months ago

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She’s such a glaring pulsing asshole. Like WHY would I be nice or empathetic to her at all when she acts like this and expects everyone to bow down to her. That’s why her ass is single and bitter.

#love island the game #litg #litg all stars #litg kat #kat really can jump off the villa pls and thank you #not even on some hater shit bc of Finn #it’s always been fuck kat over here #I ain’t even REALLY trying to get Marshall but goddamn #I can’t imagine being THIS much of a jealous hating ass bitch #litg marshall

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subspace--w0kemine · 10 months ago

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At this point it’s literally just there for good publicity points, don’t fucking convince me otherwise.

#I understand the minor part but proship? Really? Fucking really??#That is a goddamn comship right here whether you fucks like it or not #And I know for sure antis HATE Btd due to the intense nature of the game #But in the end it’s just some stupid computer program with pictographs of men that will never exist in real life #(Strade is an exception not counting a Ren in there)#None of these characters are fucking real none of these stories are real life is a fuck shit #These are all just silly stories made to entertain our morbid hearts from this god forsaken world #And I truly pity anyone who tries to mimic what they see on the screen #Sorry for this weird rant just been feeling eh #antis dni #antis are stupid #antis do not interact #proship safe #antis fuck off #discohorse 💢#i hate antis #proshippers please interact #antis suck #darkfic #profiction #fuck antishippers #antis are hypocrites #antis are a cult #comship safe #comshippers please interact #Btw I don’t have Twitter so I can’t do much but look at a few posts they have #And they made shit for Ren too #And other games like John/Doe and Sunny/Day/Jack AND DACHABO #FCKING DACHABO WHERE A DIGITAL DOG BOY THIRSTS OVER YOU AND ITS MEGA SUS #I genuinely don’t get antis who consume sus media

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diamondrib · 2 months ago

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fun fact all those people who talk about how type 4 hair and dealing with it sucks are right but in a nuanced way where it’s actually systemic racism’s fault and not anything about our hair itself making it uniquely shitty

#the adas speak #we’re not taught anything about our hair. not only that but we’re taught everything about our hair is bad #it’s messy and unprofessional and ghetto. especially with the milennial generation who were raised on relaxers and perms #they were taught from so young to be ashamed of their hair. we were taught that our hair is unmanagable #and never given the chance to learn. it wasn’t all of us but a fuck ton of us in the US just. don’t know shit #and like. when the only people we know who can do hair are braiders we pay #i don’t think that’s really the kind of relationship where you can ask them to teach you. there is usually a relationship there #but idk if it’s ‘we’re friends over clients. let me lose business for you’ close ykwim. at least not all the time #so you’re learning on youtube. hating it bc it doesn’t make sense #you’re grown. you should know how to do your hair by now. but you don’t.#you’ve got like. all the racism and antiblackness building up. and it feels like they’re right. but they’re not! no one taught you!#but you can’t learn! you don’t know who to ask. and it’s a cycle of trying and getting frustrated and giving up and feeling guilty #and presumably if you’re tenacious enough you figure it out eventually but until then it’s just all these negative feelings that build up #like. our hair is arguably some of the easiest to deal with when our ancestors came up with so many ways to style it #the fact that i can spend a few hours in a salon and barely touch my hair for 2+ months is actually the epitome of convenience #and that’s also true of natural hair. maybe like a month instead but who else can go without touching their hair for a fucking month #but we are/were told that it’s so unmanagable and difficult when if we’d ever been properly taught it would be a fucking cakewalk #now. on one hand i’m being dramatic and emotional bc the dozens of tutorials i watched weren’t detailed enough for my incompetent ass #but on the other hand i’m literally right and this is systemic racism in action #i mean tbh i probably wouldn’t have done my hair regardless bc i didn’t care about my appearance and also was getting child abused #but i’d have a fuck ton more people to teach me in person if not for racism now wouldn’t I? my point still stands

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trevination · 1 month ago

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why am i actually getting a lil worked up abt this i need to calm down

#man . just man ☹️ i rlly wanna see the show again #i rlly wanna see the obc before they start leaving #i might (?) be able to see the show in march but it’s rlly unlikely #and then i might (?) be able to see the show again in july but that depends on if i get into a rlly competitive summer program #just :/ man. it’s annoying #i rlly love this show and its like. i hate having hyperfixations on shit like this because i’m like physically getting so sad #over not being able to see the show and it’s like ?? yeah obviously u can’t see the show u live in fucking alaska #but. gah idk #WHATEVER im gonna go read fanfiction

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yeyayeya · 10 months ago

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Spoilers for Thousand Autumns/Qian Qiu English Volumes 1-3

Reading Volume 1 of Thousand Autumns: hmm I can see the potential for romance, but Yan Wushi is too much of an asshole for me, but maybe later on he’ll grow to like Shen Qiao

Reading Volume 2: Yan Wushi sucks! You betrayed him?? After Shen Qiao called you a friend??? I hate omg WHYYY???

Reading Volume 3: NO WHAT??? YAN WUSHI COME BACK!! Shen Qiao tried to save you after everything wtf don’t go! You would turn yourself in??? BITCH COME BACK DONT GET HURT AGAIN PLEASE

My emotions regarding Yan Wushi have been all over the place I cannot put a name to my emotions regarding him help me

please tell me he is ok I need to read volume 4