#i hate that I can’t get over this shit
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finalhaunts · 2 years ago
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#vent#i hate that I can’t get over this shit#yes I know most people don’t have lasting relationships when they’re young#yes i know there are other people#but like time and time and time and time and time again I’ve had people leave and i’m#sick of being in this cycle#where I’m happy and then it all falls apart#usually because i ruined it by being too much#just the fact that it seems like I’m so inherently unloveable on top of everything else in my awful life#i’m just tired. I just want Something#‘’you can’t win them all’’ well i wish I could win just once#i think there’s something genuinely deeply wrong with me.#like maybe I’m just a failed attempt at a human being#i think at this point i’m not even human.#i think i’m just. a thing.#vermin. or lower than vermin#again and again I go ‘’i’ll get better this time’’ and then I end up falling into the same patterns and spirals#and I feel like such a disappointment to my friends and I’m terrified if i Don’t get better it’s just going to push everyone away#and i’ll be left alone again becsuse its just a constant fucking cycle of people leaving !!!!!#i know peoples patience run thin. i know hearing me vent all the time is draining. i’m fully well aware of just how shitty it csn be#having someone around who’s always just so miserable#and i’m scared i’m on a time limit and I have no clue when it runs out or how much time i have left#this was about one thing but it ended up spiralingninto other shit sory#its so fuckingnhard to get better especially when i’m still with my excuses of parents#i’m scared
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anothersuperstition · 7 months ago
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like five commissions would solve so many of my problems right now …. 🌀you want to commission me🌀…. 🌀you want to look at my pinned post and you want to commission me sooooo bad🌀…….
a few recent commissions ⬇️
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been loving leaning into more illustration/poster work and would love to do more!!
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0vergrowngraveyard · 5 months ago
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the end nine’s story really was an “alls well that ends well!” moment
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seventh-district · 2 months ago
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“Why’s he call you Darlin’?”
on my knees begging my brain to stop trying to associate this song with Sam
#(it’s too late guys i’ve already added it to a couple playlists. i can’t help it)#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted sam#redacted darlin#rp audio stuff#Seven’s Blorbo Songs#music stuff#i fell down a rabbit hole of music videos on YT last night and decided to give this song a chance based on the title obviously#skipped through all the exposition just to quickly find out if i liked the song or not#and as soon as the first line came in i went head-in-hands at my desk bc i just Knew it was over for me#i hate that i like it#it’s very repetitive and giving strong Modern/Mainstream Pop-Rap-Country vibes#but i’m not too proud to admit that i eat that shit up on occasion#‘You’ve been beatin’ ‘round the bush so much you’re knockin’ off the leaves.’ goes kinda hard tho i’m ngl#‘ole boy in a Ridgeline and i drive a Chevy’ would Sam be a truck elitist? hmm#i doubt it. i see him as too practical-minded to care about brand names and shit like that#like irl i think it’s very silly. and perhaps a little questionable to hate on a ‘foreign’ vehicle. but i don’t even like trucks at all so#insecure country boys and their obsession with big trucks are ruining the road for us regular people that just want a normal ass car#but i’ll stop before i go off on a rant about america’s transportation problems#anyways. i can separate reality from fiction and i love the image of Sam in a beat up beloved old truck. cliché as it may be#getting back on track. my POINT was that the song doesn’t even necessarily fit Sam’s vibes i just. can’t undo the association#been trying to think of a way for it to fit him but that would require Darlin’ to be cheating on him and i don’t like that thought#like i love some types of angst but cheating isn’t one of them#i could view it through the context of being directed at Alexis bc i already hate her lmao but once again it doesn’t fit in canon#and i don’t know how i feel about the thought that he used to call her Darlin’ too. though it’s very possible. mmm angst#not that it has to fit with canon for me to attach a song to a character. certainly not! but i need to make it work in my mind Somehow#and i can’t even come up with a good HC to make this fit. the idea of Jealous!Sam is fun in theory but idk if i’d like it practice anyways#tldr: does this really fit canon Sam? meh. Is it forever tied to him in my mind anyways due to the use of the petname Darlin’? absolutely.#anywho. one of these days i’ll open this app to do something other than vent post or yap abt rp audio blorbos. but that day is not today!
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pinkfey · 3 months ago
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me when the boy savior the boy saved everyone: 🤯🤯🤯
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xbuster · 1 month ago
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This is beyond “you are not immune to propaganda.” This is “you are willfully taking the bait and refusing to let go because owning the libs is what you base your entire brand of online activism on and to that end you are willing to praise fascists.”
Trump did not magically negotiate a ceasefire deal 5 days before his inauguration by coincidence. I refuse to believe there is anyone stupid enough that they can recognize Netanyahu as a fascist, but can’t see how he would hold off on accepting a ceasefire deal all the way until right before Trump’s inauguration in order to prop up another fascist government that will let him finally raze all that’s left of Gaza to the ground. This is a deliberate attempt to spite liberals over real analysis of the negotiation.
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noirandchocolate · 21 days ago
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Been getting an influx of obvious spam/porn bots and also blank blogs in my follows the past couple weeks so I guess this is a good time to state my policy on the latter again:
I don’t block blank blogs that follow me on sight if they have usernames that look like a person might’ve chosen them (ie not a random mash of letters and numbers). This is because it’s possible these blogs might be real users brand new to tumblr (or newly remaking etc).
However, I do go back and check and if after 1-2 weeks (whenever I remember to check) the blog still has not been customized with an icon etc and still has zero content, even likes? Blocked. If it has likes or other content but those seem…sus to me in very specific ways I won’t get into? Blocked. This is because I have decided that either the blog is a bot, is not intending to truly use tumblr anytime soon, or may be something more annoying or outright harmful specifically to me.
So if you’re new to tumblr and just followed me, hi! Please start using tumblr by reblogging and liking posts! I hope you’ll enjoy your time here. But…I’ll block you if you don’t actually use your blog. Sorry!
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mylove-thresher · 18 days ago
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Never,imd im fucking crying and I just got home
#My ma rearranged my decor in my room and broke shit while I was away#Specifically my Sanrio collection#I’m going to fucking kill myself I hated today#I keep feeling so jealous of this girl but only bc she’s really cool and it pisses me off bc I wanna be as friendly as her#She did a presentation and everyone was so all over her we wasted 30 minutes instead of what should’ve been 5 mins#And I also feel so fucking pathetic bc she brought food and everyone enjoyed it while I was disgusted by it#Bc I’m so picky w food and I hated how it looked and I don’t even eat vegetables#But everyone was so happy and I just can’t get over it bc I wish I took part in it but I just stayed away#While everyone looked at me weirdly for not wanting to eat the food she brought#I’m against myself at this point what is wrong w me shit#I don’t want to talk to anyone about anything esp not my parents and ik they’re gonna be annoying as hell#I drew on the blackboard w some chalk and it looked rlly good and then this girl I liked just went ahead and erased it on ourpose#After I told her I drew it all proud and shit like it genuinely hurt me and she was just joking around#Forget whatever the fuck I said yesterday I’m hopeless and I should just simmer in my own misery inside my room#I shouldn’t be feeling like this but I can’t help it and I really hate it#I’m sorry for making so many vent posts lately but I’d rather tell some strangers on the internet that I kinda like instead of irl people#I’m so scared of being fr w people ik
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mskinkyafro · 7 months ago
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She’s such a glaring pulsing asshole. Like WHY would I be nice or empathetic to her at all when she acts like this and expects everyone to bow down to her. That’s why her ass is single and bitter.
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subspace--w0kemine · 10 months ago
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At this point it’s literally just there for good publicity points, don’t fucking convince me otherwise.
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diamondrib · 2 months ago
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fun fact all those people who talk about how type 4 hair and dealing with it sucks are right but in a nuanced way where it’s actually systemic racism’s fault and not anything about our hair itself making it uniquely shitty
#the adas speak#we’re not taught anything about our hair. not only that but we’re taught everything about our hair is bad#it’s messy and unprofessional and ghetto. especially with the milennial generation who were raised on relaxers and perms#they were taught from so young to be ashamed of their hair. we were taught that our hair is unmanagable#and never given the chance to learn. it wasn’t all of us but a fuck ton of us in the US just. don’t know shit#and like. when the only people we know who can do hair are braiders we pay#i don’t think that’s really the kind of relationship where you can ask them to teach you. there is usually a relationship there#but idk if it’s ‘we’re friends over clients. let me lose business for you’ close ykwim. at least not all the time#so you’re learning on youtube. hating it bc it doesn’t make sense#you’re grown. you should know how to do your hair by now. but you don’t.#you’ve got like. all the racism and antiblackness building up. and it feels like they’re right. but they’re not! no one taught you!#but you can’t learn! you don’t know who to ask. and it’s a cycle of trying and getting frustrated and giving up and feeling guilty#and presumably if you’re tenacious enough you figure it out eventually but until then it’s just all these negative feelings that build up#like. our hair is arguably some of the easiest to deal with when our ancestors came up with so many ways to style it#the fact that i can spend a few hours in a salon and barely touch my hair for 2+ months is actually the epitome of convenience#and that’s also true of natural hair. maybe like a month instead but who else can go without touching their hair for a fucking month#but we are/were told that it’s so unmanagable and difficult when if we’d ever been properly taught it would be a fucking cakewalk#now. on one hand i’m being dramatic and emotional bc the dozens of tutorials i watched weren’t detailed enough for my incompetent ass#but on the other hand i’m literally right and this is systemic racism in action#i mean tbh i probably wouldn’t have done my hair regardless bc i didn’t care about my appearance and also was getting child abused#but i’d have a fuck ton more people to teach me in person if not for racism now wouldn’t I? my point still stands
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trevination · 1 month ago
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why am i actually getting a lil worked up abt this i need to calm down
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yeyayeya · 10 months ago
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Spoilers for Thousand Autumns/Qian Qiu English Volumes 1-3
Reading Volume 1 of Thousand Autumns: hmm I can see the potential for romance, but Yan Wushi is too much of an asshole for me, but maybe later on he’ll grow to like Shen Qiao
Reading Volume 2: Yan Wushi sucks! You betrayed him?? After Shen Qiao called you a friend??? I hate omg WHYYY???
Reading Volume 3: NO WHAT??? YAN WUSHI COME BACK!! Shen Qiao tried to save you after everything wtf don’t go! You would turn yourself in??? BITCH COME BACK DONT GET HURT AGAIN PLEASE
My emotions regarding Yan Wushi have been all over the place I cannot put a name to my emotions regarding him help me
please tell me he is ok I need to read volume 4
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bibleofficial · 5 months ago
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god bless sleeping 12hrs nightly
#stream#i hate it so much#like get up & do what ? CLEAN ? AGAIN ? be a PERSON ? AGAIN ?#i was so annoyed yesterday ppl were pissing me off so much then i called my mother & it was lovely & i told her how i scammed a vacuum from#amazon last semester by reporting it stolen bc dpd refused to deliver it TO ME & sent it to a language centre so then i reported it as a#dispute on my credit card got my money back then picked up the vacuum ALSKALSKLKSLAKSLA she said ‘u are ur fathers child’ & honestly ? real#cheap as FUCK like i GET IT FROM SOMEWHERE#but she’s also HER fathers child so i don’t wanna hear it 🙄#by that it’s ‘u gotta make it really reasonable if u want anything w my money’#i’m literally going to try to scam an electric drill or just use & return to make a fucking big room divider to THE HEIGHT I NEED bc it need#to be literally like 150cm even to go w the height of the tv bc that’s mounted & it came w the place so i can’t move it & also it doesn’t#even work ALSKALSKALKSLKSLA HATE KY LANDLORD !!!!! i mean love em they don’t do anything it’s full shithead hours 24/7 here & i love that#but GIRL ….#DID YALL RLY HVE TO PAINT OVER THE BITCHES HAIR ?#WOULD A BROOM HAVE KILLED YALL ? anyway ALSO IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A CABLE#& U HAVE TO HAVE A TV LICENSE HERE FOR THE FUCKING TV 😭😭😭😭#like ALSKALKSLAKSLSLKSLAK literally … decoration#that’s ugly as fuck and annoying as shit like why is it THERRREEEEEEEE#i’m having my mother bring an amazon fire stick when i meet in north carolina like next week so i can maybe hopefully use it somehow like#just as a SPEAKER EVEN#that would be GREAT bc i’m not paying for cable i don’t even watch netflix as is#like let me get this podcast on the tele ‼️‼️‼️#determined to get dishes done today#running low on weed BUT that 1 drug dealer w cancer & w/o a bladder im talking to he’s so fucking hot hopefully he actually has a connect#for me to get smack ALSKALKSLKSLKSLKSLKALAK
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aesthetic-uni · 1 year ago
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I know I’m late to the party but Oh My God™️
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mars-ipan · 4 months ago
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Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed
#marzi speaks#marzivents#hi folks. i haven’t been making much art lately. apologies! i want to be#unfortunately shit is Stressful in both my little world (i’m starting to get overwhelmed with my meds and refills and driving)#and on a broader more societal scale (if trump gets re-elected shit is going to go so fucking bad oh my god)#PLUS we’re in the It Gets Dark At 6PM Zone now#i think i’ve lowkey been catastrophizing a bit with all that’s been going on#i should probs look into those psych referrals my doctor gave me#she offered them bc the almost-dying earlier this year was Traumatic and i was showing signs of anxiety/depression#but i think they’ll just be helpful in general#god though i hate being on prescriptions. it feels like there’s a constant timer hanging over my head#refill these pills before this time so you don’t have to miss a day. woops! the pharmacy’s out of stock on this one#so you’ll have to come back at another less convenient time. fail to do so and the medication goes on hold#which requires a phone call where you speak to a Robot that may not understand the nuances of ur situation#grrrgh it sucks so bad. thankfully i refilled my prednisone the other day and have like 3 months’ worth now#and that’s the one i really can’t afford to miss bc steroid withdrawals could really fuck me up#but uggghhh i hate it. so much. bc it looms over me always#i hate keeping track of when i’ve taken my pills too. i keep a checklist for every day#so i remember what i have to take and if i’ve taken it#but god it sucks. i’m at the point where it’s basically routine now so i do it automatically#but i know if i stop monitoring i’m gonna forget if i’ve taken my steroid one day#and either double dose or skip the day. and that’ll fuck me up pretty good#anyways. hoping hoping hoping this election goes well bc idk if i can take it if our country tis of thee elects the fucking fascist#this one’s fine to rb. i think many of us share this sentiment lmao
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