#i hate that I can’t get over this shit
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finalhaunts · 1 year ago
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#vent#i hate that I can’t get over this shit#yes I know most people don’t have lasting relationships when they’re young#yes i know there are other people#but like time and time and time and time and time again I’ve had people leave and i’m#sick of being in this cycle#where I’m happy and then it all falls apart#usually because i ruined it by being too much#just the fact that it seems like I’m so inherently unloveable on top of everything else in my awful life#i’m just tired. I just want Something#‘’you can’t win them all’’ well i wish I could win just once#i think there’s something genuinely deeply wrong with me.#like maybe I’m just a failed attempt at a human being#i think at this point i’m not even human.#i think i’m just. a thing.#vermin. or lower than vermin#again and again I go ‘’i’ll get better this time’’ and then I end up falling into the same patterns and spirals#and I feel like such a disappointment to my friends and I’m terrified if i Don’t get better it’s just going to push everyone away#and i’ll be left alone again becsuse its just a constant fucking cycle of people leaving !!!!!#i know peoples patience run thin. i know hearing me vent all the time is draining. i’m fully well aware of just how shitty it csn be#having someone around who’s always just so miserable#and i’m scared i’m on a time limit and I have no clue when it runs out or how much time i have left#this was about one thing but it ended up spiralingninto other shit sory#its so fuckingnhard to get better especially when i’m still with my excuses of parents#i’m scared
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anothersuperstition · 4 months ago
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like five commissions would solve so many of my problems right now …. 🌀you want to commission me🌀…. 🌀you want to look at my pinned post and you want to commission me sooooo bad🌀…….
a few recent commissions ⬇️
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been loving leaning into more illustration/poster work and would love to do more!!
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zenlesszonezero · 6 days ago
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Join Zenless Zone Zero with Tsukishiro Yanagi, the deputy leader of Hollow Special Operations Section 6! Beneath her ordinary office lady exterior lies a meticulous, emotionally intelligent big sister to the team.
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0vergrowngraveyard · 1 month ago
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the end nine’s story really was an “alls well that ends well!” moment
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cometrose · 5 months ago
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the supreme court is so comically evil like you really have to vote blue across the board they made it legal to criminalize homelessness, overturned chevron which means the extremely conservative courts get to override health officials and environmental regulations
like infant mortality has increased by 8% in some states post roe, they will avoid the trump immunity case as long as possible, they essentially shielded all the jan 6 rioters
if biden loses we could be stuck with 6-3 or 7-2 extremely conservative judges for decades!!! that could mean 40 years of social rights regulations and health codes thrown out the door!!! look how much we’ve lost in 8 years?
and what about pack the courts? you can’t pack the courts with this split congress you can’t pass roe laws with this split congress you really have to vote blue all the way
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modernvintage · 5 months ago
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Absolutely hate hate hate the way fandom works these days.
People have always overstepped, but the internet/social media make it so damn easy.
Cause I just watched the most bitchin’ press tour I’ve ever seen for a show with actual diversity of just about every variety with two phenomenal actors in the lead roles who worked their asses off for the past six months+ have all of the magic stripped away because people no longer know how to separate the art from the artists, the show from the promo, the fiction vs. the reality.
Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton served us for six months. They did their jobs and then some. They hand-crafted the pitch and delivered it on a silver platter, and you’re gonna turn your nose up at it now?! This was the best fan service I *ever* remember seeing!
They deserve better than this.
smh.
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rowanisawriter · 6 days ago
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going through all the stages of grief today lmao!! whatever im gonna play video game now!!
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mskinkyafro · 4 months ago
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She’s such a glaring pulsing asshole. Like WHY would I be nice or empathetic to her at all when she acts like this and expects everyone to bow down to her. That’s why her ass is single and bitter.
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p0wer-b0yyyy · 6 months ago
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At this point it’s literally just there for good publicity points, don’t fucking convince me otherwise.
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yeyayeya · 6 months ago
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Spoilers for Thousand Autumns/Qian Qiu English Volumes 1-3
Reading Volume 1 of Thousand Autumns: hmm I can see the potential for romance, but Yan Wushi is too much of an asshole for me, but maybe later on he’ll grow to like Shen Qiao
Reading Volume 2: Yan Wushi sucks! You betrayed him?? After Shen Qiao called you a friend??? I hate omg WHYYY???
Reading Volume 3: NO WHAT??? YAN WUSHI COME BACK!! Shen Qiao tried to save you after everything wtf don’t go! You would turn yourself in??? BITCH COME BACK DONT GET HURT AGAIN PLEASE
My emotions regarding Yan Wushi have been all over the place I cannot put a name to my emotions regarding him help me
please tell me he is ok I need to read volume 4
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aesthetic-uni · 11 months ago
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I know I’m late to the party but Oh My God™️
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mars-ipan · 7 days ago
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Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed
#marzi speaks#marzivents#hi folks. i haven’t been making much art lately. apologies! i want to be#unfortunately shit is Stressful in both my little world (i’m starting to get overwhelmed with my meds and refills and driving)#and on a broader more societal scale (if trump gets re-elected shit is going to go so fucking bad oh my god)#PLUS we’re in the It Gets Dark At 6PM Zone now#i think i’ve lowkey been catastrophizing a bit with all that’s been going on#i should probs look into those psych referrals my doctor gave me#she offered them bc the almost-dying earlier this year was Traumatic and i was showing signs of anxiety/depression#but i think they’ll just be helpful in general#god though i hate being on prescriptions. it feels like there’s a constant timer hanging over my head#refill these pills before this time so you don’t have to miss a day. woops! the pharmacy’s out of stock on this one#so you’ll have to come back at another less convenient time. fail to do so and the medication goes on hold#which requires a phone call where you speak to a Robot that may not understand the nuances of ur situation#grrrgh it sucks so bad. thankfully i refilled my prednisone the other day and have like 3 months’ worth now#and that’s the one i really can’t afford to miss bc steroid withdrawals could really fuck me up#but uggghhh i hate it. so much. bc it looms over me always#i hate keeping track of when i’ve taken my pills too. i keep a checklist for every day#so i remember what i have to take and if i’ve taken it#but god it sucks. i’m at the point where it’s basically routine now so i do it automatically#but i know if i stop monitoring i’m gonna forget if i’ve taken my steroid one day#and either double dose or skip the day. and that’ll fuck me up pretty good#anyways. hoping hoping hoping this election goes well bc idk if i can take it if our country tis of thee elects the fucking fascist#this one’s fine to rb. i think many of us share this sentiment lmao
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bibleofficial · 2 months ago
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god bless sleeping 12hrs nightly
#stream#i hate it so much#like get up & do what ? CLEAN ? AGAIN ? be a PERSON ? AGAIN ?#i was so annoyed yesterday ppl were pissing me off so much then i called my mother & it was lovely & i told her how i scammed a vacuum from#amazon last semester by reporting it stolen bc dpd refused to deliver it TO ME & sent it to a language centre so then i reported it as a#dispute on my credit card got my money back then picked up the vacuum ALSKALSKLKSLAKSLA she said ‘u are ur fathers child’ & honestly ? real#cheap as FUCK like i GET IT FROM SOMEWHERE#but she’s also HER fathers child so i don’t wanna hear it 🙄#by that it’s ‘u gotta make it really reasonable if u want anything w my money’#i’m literally going to try to scam an electric drill or just use & return to make a fucking big room divider to THE HEIGHT I NEED bc it need#to be literally like 150cm even to go w the height of the tv bc that’s mounted & it came w the place so i can’t move it & also it doesn’t#even work ALSKALSKALKSLKSLA HATE KY LANDLORD !!!!! i mean love em they don’t do anything it’s full shithead hours 24/7 here & i love that#but GIRL ….#DID YALL RLY HVE TO PAINT OVER THE BITCHES HAIR ?#WOULD A BROOM HAVE KILLED YALL ? anyway ALSO IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A CABLE#& U HAVE TO HAVE A TV LICENSE HERE FOR THE FUCKING TV 😭😭😭😭#like ALSKALKSLAKSLSLKSLAK literally … decoration#that’s ugly as fuck and annoying as shit like why is it THERRREEEEEEEE#i’m having my mother bring an amazon fire stick when i meet in north carolina like next week so i can maybe hopefully use it somehow like#just as a SPEAKER EVEN#that would be GREAT bc i’m not paying for cable i don’t even watch netflix as is#like let me get this podcast on the tele ‼️‼️‼️#determined to get dishes done today#running low on weed BUT that 1 drug dealer w cancer & w/o a bladder im talking to he’s so fucking hot hopefully he actually has a connect#for me to get smack ALSKALKSLKSLKSLKSLKALAK
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depressedhatakekakashi · 5 months ago
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If you think a character is married and should only be with that person that is fine. Fabdom is fun and you are welcome to think that
What you are NOT welcome to do is tell other people ‘oh but that character’s married so you can’t have them/you cab’t ship them with this other person’
If you want talk about how a character is married you do so in a private char with like minded friends, like the rest of us
Stop that
Stop that right now
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alaskan-wallflower · 2 months ago
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I’m sorry you are getting sent Brody hate! But comparing absences to Jordan who misses shows because he’s a literal father and has been open about his health issues is NOT ok. Also I believe Renni has missed more shows than Brody but nobody says anything because he isn’t the lead. And Renni has missed shows for a valid reason and is now getting surgery. Brody has valid reasons like every Broadway actor! He’s literally done most shows in the last month besides like 5 which is A LOT for Pony. Also wouldn’t be surprised if he’s on vocal rest!
i mean like…i’m not brody so i’m not rly offended by it? tone is hard over text and i probably sound like i’m trying to be a smartass, i’m not-i’m not offended or anything or even suggesting you HAVE to like him. i’m just saying it’s exhausting to deal with? i get i’m the main person people go to about drama and whatever(not even the right word) because ill admit, i feed into it. and i’m trying to get better at not feeding into it because i know it’s only giving a reaction-it’s just…hard? because i’m very opinionated and u stand by my beliefs and i hate to throw in the towel (ha) but yeah. again, i know that i’m the person people go to to stir up controversy (i’m glad i am because i’d hate for any other BG fans to get sent some of the shit i do-again, it’s not like i’m offended? it’s just like…why harass people over content you don’t like? if you don’t like the actor or the media then don’t interact with the fans. that’s like me going to to a bunch of taylor swift fans and saying i hate her music and purposefully trying to stir up trouble.
comparing actors from completely separate shows is unfair too. especially if one is in hadestown and one is in outsiders. those are two very very very VERY different plays. and i doubt the reason jordan isn’t absent as much is because he wants to “salvage his reputation’ because we never (and never need to) know what’s going on in an actors life. there could’ve been plenty of other reasons JF was absent so much. (edit but i reread the ask and i didn’t know he’s a father and had health issues….its stupid to compare the two.) but i’m not familiar with him so i’m not gonna speak on him.
brody’s absences are literally no one’s business. yes, i get it’s disappointing that he’s not there. but there are two amazingly talented understudies who cover him and if the musical thought brody could do all eight days they wouldn’t give him an understudy.
it’s just tiring. i don’t mind answering questions but like…you know i’m a fan of his, a fan of the musical. so sending outsiders/brody hate to me just seems stupid. just don’t interact with me. it’s not that hard.
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bearenjoyers · 3 months ago
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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toothpaste-for-the-skin · 10 months ago
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Do you think his skincare routine is very good
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