#i hate that I can’t get over this shit
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#vent#i hate that I can’t get over this shit#yes I know most people don’t have lasting relationships when they’re young#yes i know there are other people#but like time and time and time and time and time again I’ve had people leave and i’m#sick of being in this cycle#where I’m happy and then it all falls apart#usually because i ruined it by being too much#just the fact that it seems like I’m so inherently unloveable on top of everything else in my awful life#i’m just tired. I just want Something#‘’you can’t win them all’’ well i wish I could win just once#i think there’s something genuinely deeply wrong with me.#like maybe I’m just a failed attempt at a human being#i think at this point i’m not even human.#i think i’m just. a thing.#vermin. or lower than vermin#again and again I go ‘’i’ll get better this time’’ and then I end up falling into the same patterns and spirals#and I feel like such a disappointment to my friends and I’m terrified if i Don’t get better it’s just going to push everyone away#and i’ll be left alone again becsuse its just a constant fucking cycle of people leaving !!!!!#i know peoples patience run thin. i know hearing me vent all the time is draining. i’m fully well aware of just how shitty it csn be#having someone around who’s always just so miserable#and i’m scared i’m on a time limit and I have no clue when it runs out or how much time i have left#this was about one thing but it ended up spiralingninto other shit sory#its so fuckingnhard to get better especially when i’m still with my excuses of parents#i’m scared
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like five commissions would solve so many of my problems right now …. 🌀you want to commission me🌀…. 🌀you want to look at my pinned post and you want to commission me sooooo bad🌀…….
a few recent commissions ⬇️
been loving leaning into more illustration/poster work and would love to do more!!
#i’m like out of options LOL#like everyone else i’ve been applying to probably hundreds of jobs and like everyone else i can’t get SHIT#my options are 1) stay out here and suffer 2) beg my parents to help me move home and REALLY truly suffer (this one isn’t really an option)#or like 3) go lay in the dirt indefinitely idk i’m in over my head and i made a mistake moving but it’s too late to back out!#going home wouldn’t be good for anyone least of all me!#idk i feel like everyone is judging me for thinking i had it good then falling flat on my face anyways#i feel like it was some kind of sick joke that i finally for once felt stable and happy just to get it yanked away from me#and be worse off than before#sorry i’m really emotional because i’ve been going through it so hard for so long and i’m really exhausted#i hate getting on here and begging for work but idk what else to do right now#mine#arty art
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Join Zenless Zone Zero with Tsukishiro Yanagi, the deputy leader of Hollow Special Operations Section 6! Beneath her ordinary office lady exterior lies a meticulous, emotionally intelligent big sister to the team.
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the end nine’s story really was an “alls well that ends well!” moment
#graveyardtxt#it did not end well!!!#i can’t and will never get over the fact that he didn’t get a happy ending#all he got was a “ok guys do you pinky promise not to hurt nine when i leave?’’#and one (1) hug#like how many people do you think said that they’d leave nine alone just to make sonic feel better?#there had to be a least a few of them crossing their fingers#he gained almost—if not—nothing!#he got the solitude he wanted-sure-but at what cost?#possibly mental and bodily damage from the prism’s power?#there’s a brand new group of people who probably hate him or just don’t want him around?#like wtf!!! where’s his friends? where’s his happy ending?#why was he just left alone like that?#sonic i love you but this is one two tailed fox who your presence did not positively influence!!!#“but what he did was selfish >:(‘’ BECAUSE HES NEVER HAD TO THINK OF ANYONE BUT HIMSELF BEFORE!! NO SHIT HES SELFISH!! ITS HOW HE SURVIVES!!#i will never ever shut up about this#miles nine prower#sonic prime
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the supreme court is so comically evil like you really have to vote blue across the board they made it legal to criminalize homelessness, overturned chevron which means the extremely conservative courts get to override health officials and environmental regulations
like infant mortality has increased by 8% in some states post roe, they will avoid the trump immunity case as long as possible, they essentially shielded all the jan 6 rioters
if biden loses we could be stuck with 6-3 or 7-2 extremely conservative judges for decades!!! that could mean 40 years of social rights regulations and health codes thrown out the door!!! look how much we’ve lost in 8 years?
and what about pack the courts? you can’t pack the courts with this split congress you can’t pass roe laws with this split congress you really have to vote blue all the way
#us politics#presidential debate#supreme court#I HATE THE SUPREME COURT I WANT THEM GONE SO BADLY#it’s so easy to lose everything at once!!!#yall we can’t do this again!!!!!!!!!!!!#ALITO AND THOMAS WILL QUIT#AND TRUMP WILL APPOINT FRESH ULTRA RIGHT CONSERVATIVE 30 SOMETHING YEAR OLDS#WHO WILL BE THERE FOR EONS#trump is so much worse than biden in like every way dawg#i feel sick guys LOOK AT OUR LIBERALS#thought the democratic party did this to themselves#fucking idiots! should’ve let biden step down#like we can go all the way back to RBG and Hillary Clinton like SHIT#this year i did a huge project on feminism in the us and to think all of those policies could be lost within my lifetime#we just got those#biden sucks he sucks a lot but trump is the devil#this country is not organized enough for 3rd party especially not with trump’s cult of personality#republicans will vote for him no matter what!!!#we should’ve done more about those damn courts uggg my head#this is why i can never be a politician id get a terrible headache and just start knocking shit over#one of my friends is voting green cause the democrats disappointed her an i agree they suck they suck so badly but#but the last thing i’ll do is let this country move any further to the right#i’ll take shit piece of trash liberal than i think people shouldn’t have rights conservative
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Absolutely hate hate hate the way fandom works these days.
People have always overstepped, but the internet/social media make it so damn easy.
Cause I just watched the most bitchin’ press tour I’ve ever seen for a show with actual diversity of just about every variety with two phenomenal actors in the lead roles who worked their asses off for the past six months+ have all of the magic stripped away because people no longer know how to separate the art from the artists, the show from the promo, the fiction vs. the reality.
Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton served us for six months. They did their jobs and then some. They hand-crafted the pitch and delivered it on a silver platter, and you’re gonna turn your nose up at it now?! This was the best fan service I *ever* remember seeing!
They deserve better than this.
smh.
#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#nicola coughlan#luke newton#polin#you can hate the characters and the story all you want!#criticism is even fine! normal!#but hate comments to the point that Nicola is deleting vids#and they are trying to do damage control#like#we can’t have shit in Detroit#I’m over here defending celebrities which I hate doing bc of the power and influence imbalance#but like#can’t we just be nice lol#media literacy is dead#and I’m sad#get off my lawn#fandom auntie rant
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going through all the stages of grief today lmao!! whatever im gonna play video game now!!
#im very very very nervous i feel like my stomach is about to fly out of my mouth#oh my god lollllllllllll#what will i do if he wins LMAO!! i have a 4 year old daughter lol she can’t grow up in this bull shit!!!!!#i gotta get out of here LMAO!!!!!!!!#im gonna be sick#i took the day off knowing i would be useless today also off tomorrow#help!! also i think my period is coming which is. amazing timing lol i am already on the brink of death#why not!! haha!! sure why not!!!!!!#i need to read thanzag IMMEDIATELY I need to be healed#this is so bad……#im scared oh god….#i hate how little control we have over our own lives#here we are on the brink of maybe our last election lol like no exaggeration do you think if they win they will let us vote again#im just glad I don’t live near dc anymore it was scary last time#omg…#I think I will be offline today if you see posts it’s just the queue
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She’s such a glaring pulsing asshole. Like WHY would I be nice or empathetic to her at all when she acts like this and expects everyone to bow down to her. That’s why her ass is single and bitter.
#love island the game#litg#litg all stars#litg kat#kat really can jump off the villa pls and thank you#not even on some hater shit bc of Finn#it’s always been fuck kat over here#I ain’t even REALLY trying to get Marshall but goddamn#I can’t imagine being THIS much of a jealous hating ass bitch#litg marshall
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At this point it’s literally just there for good publicity points, don’t fucking convince me otherwise.
#I understand the minor part but proship? Really? Fucking really??#That is a goddamn comship right here whether you fucks like it or not#And I know for sure antis HATE Btd due to the intense nature of the game#But in the end it’s just some stupid computer program with pictographs of men that will never exist in real life#(Strade is an exception not counting a Ren in there)#None of these characters are fucking real none of these stories are real life is a fuck shit#These are all just silly stories made to entertain our morbid hearts from this god forsaken world#And I truly pity anyone who tries to mimic what they see on the screen#Sorry for this weird rant just been feeling eh#antis dni#antis are stupid#antis do not interact#proship safe#antis fuck off#discohorse 💢#i hate antis#proshippers please interact#antis suck#darkfic#profiction#fuck antishippers#antis are hypocrites#antis are a cult#comship safe#comshippers please interact#Btw I don’t have Twitter so I can’t do much but look at a few posts they have#And they made shit for Ren too#And other games like John/Doe and Sunny/Day/Jack AND DACHABO#FCKING DACHABO WHERE A DIGITAL DOG BOY THIRSTS OVER YOU AND ITS MEGA SUS#I genuinely don’t get antis who consume sus media
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Spoilers for Thousand Autumns/Qian Qiu English Volumes 1-3
Reading Volume 1 of Thousand Autumns: hmm I can see the potential for romance, but Yan Wushi is too much of an asshole for me, but maybe later on he’ll grow to like Shen Qiao
Reading Volume 2: Yan Wushi sucks! You betrayed him?? After Shen Qiao called you a friend??? I hate omg WHYYY???
Reading Volume 3: NO WHAT??? YAN WUSHI COME BACK!! Shen Qiao tried to save you after everything wtf don’t go! You would turn yourself in??? BITCH COME BACK DONT GET HURT AGAIN PLEASE
My emotions regarding Yan Wushi have been all over the place I cannot put a name to my emotions regarding him help me
please tell me he is ok I need to read volume 4
#yeyarants#thousand autumns#qian qiu#shen qiao#yan wushi#yanshen#WHY IS HE SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND#i have been extremely freaked out over how Shen Qiao and I had the same thoughts regarding Yan Wushi#we basically on the same wavelength regarding him#I DONT KNOW WHAT TO FEEL#I felt very neutral towards him when I finished volume 1#then extreme hatred and betrayal towards him in volume 2#and now I feel sad and hopeful that he’s ok because he literally turned himself in help me idk what to feel#YAN WUSHI IS IN LOVE FUCK#I wanted to get volume 5 of erha and volume 3 of yuwu#…but now I need volume 4 of qian qiu#I LOVE SHEN QIAO BUT OMG THE TURMOIL I FEEL REGARDING YAN WUSHI IS SO CONFUSING#DO I LIKE HIM OR NOT IDK#BUT I WANT TO KNOW IF HES OK#*point at Yan Wushi* you sir are a complicated enigma#and I need to know wtf is going inside your brain#I’m so confused I would have been fine hating him but now I feel like a concerned mother wondering where her child is#yan wushi the man that you are#meng xi shi#I can’t read erha or yuwu because I have become invested in this shit HELP ME#I NEED TO KNOW#YAN WUSHI ARE YOU OK???#im gonna reblog shit after once I’m done because I did not want to know any sorts of spoilers
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I know I’m late to the party but Oh My God™️
#uni talks about the universe#hbomberguy#james somerton#I’ve been watching the video in increments#so everytime I pause and think ‘it can’t get worse’#guess what the fuck happens when I come back#I’ve never watch James somerton but I have seen his videos floating around#but now thank god I haven’t#by the way-no hate to anyone who was fooled by them#how the fuck were you suppose to know that their entire life was a life#anyway I cannot wait for how these people try to clamber their way back#don’t even talk about Blair to me cause holy shit that woman has a lot of skeleton in her closet#I’m pretty sure they all do but I’m mentioning Blair specifically because I was keeping up on the story for her ngl#I do think internet historian is going to come out unscathed#mostly because his fans just doesn’t care#but the rest? not so easy I think#and obviously it’s fucking over for James Somerton#that man is dead. we witness a live execution. and then liked and subscribed
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Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed
#marzi speaks#marzivents#hi folks. i haven’t been making much art lately. apologies! i want to be#unfortunately shit is Stressful in both my little world (i’m starting to get overwhelmed with my meds and refills and driving)#and on a broader more societal scale (if trump gets re-elected shit is going to go so fucking bad oh my god)#PLUS we’re in the It Gets Dark At 6PM Zone now#i think i’ve lowkey been catastrophizing a bit with all that’s been going on#i should probs look into those psych referrals my doctor gave me#she offered them bc the almost-dying earlier this year was Traumatic and i was showing signs of anxiety/depression#but i think they’ll just be helpful in general#god though i hate being on prescriptions. it feels like there’s a constant timer hanging over my head#refill these pills before this time so you don’t have to miss a day. woops! the pharmacy’s out of stock on this one#so you’ll have to come back at another less convenient time. fail to do so and the medication goes on hold#which requires a phone call where you speak to a Robot that may not understand the nuances of ur situation#grrrgh it sucks so bad. thankfully i refilled my prednisone the other day and have like 3 months’ worth now#and that’s the one i really can’t afford to miss bc steroid withdrawals could really fuck me up#but uggghhh i hate it. so much. bc it looms over me always#i hate keeping track of when i’ve taken my pills too. i keep a checklist for every day#so i remember what i have to take and if i’ve taken it#but god it sucks. i’m at the point where it’s basically routine now so i do it automatically#but i know if i stop monitoring i’m gonna forget if i’ve taken my steroid one day#and either double dose or skip the day. and that’ll fuck me up pretty good#anyways. hoping hoping hoping this election goes well bc idk if i can take it if our country tis of thee elects the fucking fascist#this one’s fine to rb. i think many of us share this sentiment lmao
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god bless sleeping 12hrs nightly
#stream#i hate it so much#like get up & do what ? CLEAN ? AGAIN ? be a PERSON ? AGAIN ?#i was so annoyed yesterday ppl were pissing me off so much then i called my mother & it was lovely & i told her how i scammed a vacuum from#amazon last semester by reporting it stolen bc dpd refused to deliver it TO ME & sent it to a language centre so then i reported it as a#dispute on my credit card got my money back then picked up the vacuum ALSKALSKLKSLAKSLA she said ‘u are ur fathers child’ & honestly ? real#cheap as FUCK like i GET IT FROM SOMEWHERE#but she’s also HER fathers child so i don’t wanna hear it 🙄#by that it’s ‘u gotta make it really reasonable if u want anything w my money’#i’m literally going to try to scam an electric drill or just use & return to make a fucking big room divider to THE HEIGHT I NEED bc it need#to be literally like 150cm even to go w the height of the tv bc that’s mounted & it came w the place so i can’t move it & also it doesn’t#even work ALSKALSKALKSLKSLA HATE KY LANDLORD !!!!! i mean love em they don’t do anything it’s full shithead hours 24/7 here & i love that#but GIRL ….#DID YALL RLY HVE TO PAINT OVER THE BITCHES HAIR ?#WOULD A BROOM HAVE KILLED YALL ? anyway ALSO IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A CABLE#& U HAVE TO HAVE A TV LICENSE HERE FOR THE FUCKING TV 😭😭😭😭#like ALSKALKSLAKSLSLKSLAK literally … decoration#that’s ugly as fuck and annoying as shit like why is it THERRREEEEEEEE#i’m having my mother bring an amazon fire stick when i meet in north carolina like next week so i can maybe hopefully use it somehow like#just as a SPEAKER EVEN#that would be GREAT bc i’m not paying for cable i don’t even watch netflix as is#like let me get this podcast on the tele ‼️‼️‼️#determined to get dishes done today#running low on weed BUT that 1 drug dealer w cancer & w/o a bladder im talking to he’s so fucking hot hopefully he actually has a connect#for me to get smack ALSKALKSLKSLKSLKSLKALAK
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If you think a character is married and should only be with that person that is fine. Fabdom is fun and you are welcome to think that
What you are NOT welcome to do is tell other people ‘oh but that character’s married so you can’t have them/you cab’t ship them with this other person’
If you want talk about how a character is married you do so in a private char with like minded friends, like the rest of us
Stop that
Stop that right now
#i hate that i have to say it#cuz it’s someone from MY FABDOM who did the dumb thing#cut it out#Kakashi is not cannonly married#i think him and gai are a couple as much as the enxt kakagai shipper obv#but that doesn’t give snyone the right to tell others they can’t ship him with someone else#and it sure as shit doesn’t give anyone the right to go on a silly ‘fuck marry kill’ poll#and tell people they cab’t marry kakashi cuz he’s ‘already married’#get over yourself
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I’m sorry you are getting sent Brody hate! But comparing absences to Jordan who misses shows because he’s a literal father and has been open about his health issues is NOT ok. Also I believe Renni has missed more shows than Brody but nobody says anything because he isn’t the lead. And Renni has missed shows for a valid reason and is now getting surgery. Brody has valid reasons like every Broadway actor! He’s literally done most shows in the last month besides like 5 which is A LOT for Pony. Also wouldn’t be surprised if he’s on vocal rest!
i mean like…i’m not brody so i’m not rly offended by it? tone is hard over text and i probably sound like i’m trying to be a smartass, i’m not-i’m not offended or anything or even suggesting you HAVE to like him. i’m just saying it’s exhausting to deal with? i get i’m the main person people go to about drama and whatever(not even the right word) because ill admit, i feed into it. and i’m trying to get better at not feeding into it because i know it’s only giving a reaction-it’s just…hard? because i’m very opinionated and u stand by my beliefs and i hate to throw in the towel (ha) but yeah. again, i know that i’m the person people go to to stir up controversy (i’m glad i am because i’d hate for any other BG fans to get sent some of the shit i do-again, it’s not like i’m offended? it’s just like…why harass people over content you don’t like? if you don’t like the actor or the media then don’t interact with the fans. that’s like me going to to a bunch of taylor swift fans and saying i hate her music and purposefully trying to stir up trouble.
comparing actors from completely separate shows is unfair too. especially if one is in hadestown and one is in outsiders. those are two very very very VERY different plays. and i doubt the reason jordan isn’t absent as much is because he wants to “salvage his reputation’ because we never (and never need to) know what’s going on in an actors life. there could’ve been plenty of other reasons JF was absent so much. (edit but i reread the ask and i didn’t know he’s a father and had health issues….its stupid to compare the two.) but i’m not familiar with him so i’m not gonna speak on him.
brody’s absences are literally no one’s business. yes, i get it’s disappointing that he’s not there. but there are two amazingly talented understudies who cover him and if the musical thought brody could do all eight days they wouldn’t give him an understudy.
it’s just tiring. i don’t mind answering questions but like…you know i’m a fan of his, a fan of the musical. so sending outsiders/brody hate to me just seems stupid. just don’t interact with me. it’s not that hard.
#anon#alaska’s asks#brody grant#he deserves a break like i can’t imagine doing this show eight times a week for like…what seven months now?#and you can’t even get mad that he wasn’t there in july because it was summer and like he’s allowed to take breaks#sone of these people act like he’s a spectacle like i never see anyone else getting shit for taking a break but god forbid brody is out#everyone just throws a fit#like i get it’s disappointing but come on#his attendance has been really good btw like some of these people act like he does one show and leaves for a month#i hate this stigma that it’s okay to be rude to an actor for needing a day off. it’s toxic and immature and it has to stop#i don’t think i’ve ever gotten a positive ask about the musical or anyone involved in it it’s just people shitting on brody#like idk what they want me to do i’m not brody lmao#like yes i’m just gonna hit him up and bitch at him smh#get over yourselves#(not you anon ofc just these people)#seriously though it’s so tiring and unessecary#you don’t have to like him but don’t be rude about him or to people who do like him
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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Do you think his skincare routine is very good
#bc I literally can’t get over how he looks YOUNGER#every time I see a picture of redesign Jay I lose my shit#not bc I hate the design but bc it’s just so funny to me#Ninjago#ninjago jay#ramblings#I’m putting this in my queue I have 15 hours to reconsider#or maybe I’ll forget
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