#i hate seeing him I don’t like him anymore purely coz if parts of the fandom and it’s just ridiculous of me

[mrburnsnuclearpussy]

ILL NEVER BE THE MEN EVERYBODY TALKS ABOUT

[katyasrussianaccent]

i don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips (corpse x reader)

Summary: Corpse suggests you flirt with each other to mess with the fans. What happens when you suddenly catch feelings?

Authors Note: This has been in my brain for so long so I decided to write it. May or may not write a part 2, im not sure. Lemme know what you think! My requests are open for fic/headcannons aswell 💖

It should have been simple.

Flirt, mess with the fans a little, sit back and relax.

It should have been simple.

You remember Corpse coming to you with the idea.

“Why would we do that?” you had asked, frowning at your phone screen. It had been another late night phone conversation with him; something that was starting to become a regular occurrence.

You pictured him shrug as he answered. “Fun?”

“Are you so bored you wanna make a fake relationship with me?”

“Not a relationship. Just do what we do now, but like, more.”

You had agreed before your brain had even registered it. On paper it was straightforward. You already flirted a little anyway, you were naturally a flirtatious person, and so was he. It made sense; or at least you had told yourself that it did. You knew the fans already shipped you together, you saw the things they tweeted as you occasionally lurked the ynhusband tag on Twitter. It was just innocent fun right? No-one was going to get hurt.

For a little while that was true. For a little while he called you baby and you called him darling and it meant nothing. Your face didn’t feel flush when he commented on your latest Instagram post and your heart didn’t do a little flip when he would call you just to see how you were. The phone conversations were your favourite; curled up in bed with the phone on your pillow, trading secrets into the night. He had suddenly become this constant in your life, this almost routine familiarity like brushing your teeth or going to get milk.

You weren’t sure what changed, when it had gone from being innocent fun to meaning something. It was like someone had flicked a switch, and Corpse was no longer a warm glow but this bright, blinding light that hurt your eyes to look at too long. It was almost cruel, the way you wanted something so unobtainable; the universe’s idea of a joke had no humour in it. The thing with Corpse was he was so unaware of the power he had. He was mysterious yes, but he was faceless among a sea of faces; of course people were drawn to him. And you were just another.

You started to pull away. You played different games with different people, you ignored his tweets. It was easier, if you never interacted with him, you could pretend there was nothing but shallow feelings instead of the crashing waves that threatened to pull you under. The fans had started to notice; your streams were filled with questions that you refused to answer.

“Where’s Corpse?” you read aloud as you scrolled down the chat. “Probably in his house? Go ask him.” Your tone was bitter even to you and you inwardly cringed. He hadn’t contacted you in 2 weeks, and while you were thankful, you were hurt by it. It was stupid and hypoctritical of you to be upset by something that was your own doing, and you weren’t sure what you had expected from him. He had other friends, other people to talk to, why would he have cared about you anyway?

Your phone lit up next to you, and you ignored the pang of disappointment at Rae’s picture flashing up.

Rae: Among Us???

You hesitated for a second. The likelihood of Corpse being there was high, but you knew deep down he wouldn’t say a thing to you, not on stream or in front of your friends. You could just ignore him, like you had been doing and it would be fine. You weren’t sure you believed yourself anymore.

“Guys, you want to watch me play Among Us? I’m not sure who’s playing, other than Rae.” You looked at the fast flowing stream of affirmatives and emojis. Guess you had to do it now. You opened up the game and joined the lobby.

“-yeah she looks really fucking cute,” you heard Corpse say as you logged in. You looked down at your outfit,; he definitely wasn’t talking about you in your oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. You had been on stream for a few hours now; your eyeliner was smudged a little and any lipstick had worn off with the constant drinking and licking your lips. No, he definitely wasn’t talking about you.

“Hey guys,” you said tentatively, swallowing down the feeling of jealousy at Corpse’s previous words.

A chorus of greetings hit you, and you smiled at their enthusiasm. You had played with Rae, Sykunno and Toast a few times before, but Felix, Jack and Ash were new to you, though you knew of them.

“Hey Y/N,” Corpse said. You had hoped after 2 weeks he wouldn’t still affect you so much, but the way your stomach turned said otherwise.

“Hey Corpse,” you replied, hoping your tone was casual.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?” he asked.

“Oh. Uh yeah, I’ve been a bit busy I guess, how are you?” You looked down as you answered, picking at your nail polish. You glanced at the chat that was filled with messages.

corpsesbaby: You can always tell when someones lying coz they look down” llamadelrey: why is this so awkward lmao arent they friends??” simpsforrae: This is like is a breakup i swear

“I’ve been okay, thanks” Corpse answered, drawing your eyes off the chat and back to the game. You nodded as you muted your mic to go back to your stream.

“I hope I don’t get imposter, I always suck at that so much.” You watched as the screen counted down and the word IMPOSTER flashed up alongside Corpse’s name. “Guess I jinxed it guys.”

Great. Not only were you imposter, you were imposter with Corpse, which meant you would have to actually speak to him. Maybe you wouldn’t have to.

You both followed Rae as she walked up towards Greenhouse, and you cornered her while she did her task, killing her quickly.

“Everyone seemed to go right, so we should vent back towards cafeteria to avoid suspicion,” Corpse said.

“Okay,” you answered. You vented together, and you muted your mic to laugh. “This is kinda cosy guys.” You said to your chat. You briefly imagined what it would be like in real life to be so close to him.

You moved to Admin where Toast was doing his task. Before you could say a word, Corpse had already killed him and you both vented outside Cafeteria. “Fuck, that was so close,” you muttered, chuckling a little.

“Don’t worry, I got your back,” he replied, making your heart sing a little.

“Oh my hero,” you said, making a point of swooning to your chat, your voice high and airy. “How will I ever repay you?”

He chuckled, “You shouldn’t ask questions like that.”

You flushed at the suggestive tone he had taken, and you hoped it wasn’t noticeable but judging by the comments in your chat, it clearly had been. This was another issue you had with Corpse; he always made these type of comments with you and it was really annoying. You knew there was no chance he was being serious, and sometimes you wished he would stop it purely because it got your hopes up.

delilah: shes BLUSHING dreamofme: uWu yn uWu

You opened your mouth to respond when Dead Body Reported flashed up, bringing your thoughts back to the game.

“Toast and Rae are dead,” Sykuuno said. “I found Rae in Greenhouse and Toast in admin.”

“I was in balcony, I went there from the cafeteria,” you said confidently. You hated being Imposter, especially being teamed with Corpse, who was so good at the game, you had a lot of pressure to do well.

“I was in MedBay, I didn’t see you YN,” Ash accused.

“You only see if they enter through the left door. She entered through the other door,” Corpse answered for you.

“And how do you know that?” Felix asked.

“I was in Cafeteria,” Corpse replied.

“You could’ve vented YN,” Jack said.

“No I couldn’t have, if Ash was in MedBay, she would have seen me. Unless she wasn’t in MedBay,�� you suggested, smirking to your cam as you muted. “It’s not going too bad I don’t think? Always feel like I’ve been arrested when I’m Imposter.”

“Little sus of you Ash to say you were in MedBay when you weren’t,” Corpse said. You gaped a little at how easy it was for him to manipulate the situation, it was almost scary.

Ash argued as the other players began to agree and discuss among themselves. You smiled in success at the text on the screen.

Ash has been ejected.

You split up this time, and while you hadn’t really spoken during the game, you kind of missed Corpse’s astronaut next to yours, and you said that to your chat. “Haha, our colours did look cute together, I agree.”

Any previous trepidation you had had disappeared as soon as you had heard his voice; and you realised how much you had missed him. You would simply just need to deal with your feelings; they would go away eventually anyway. You just hoped it wasn’t too late for you to start again with him.

You walked to MedBay with Skyunno, making small talk as you did.

“I’m glad to see you playing with us, it’s been a little while,” he said and you felt bad that you would have to kill him. As you turned towards him, ready to kill as he did his task, Jack walked in. You mouthed oops at the cam.

“What’s going on here?” Jack asked, suspicion in his voice.

“I was just saying how nice it was to have YN here,” Sykunno replied. You stood and faked your task, watching the green bar fill as you did. It would be too risky to kill here.

“Ah yeah, Corpse has been asking after you constantly,” Jack said. You blinked at the response, it had caught you off guard.

“Oh?” you replied simply. You mentally shrugged it off. Of course he would have asked about you, you were friends, that was all.

DEAD BODY REPORTED

“Felix was dead in Reactor,” Corpse announced. “Oh Corpse, you’re taking a risk here” you said to your chat.

“I was in MedBay with Jack and Sykunno,” you replied, smiling as they agreed. “Where were you Ash?”

She sighed sadly. “I was in Labs, but I was doing a task, I swear!” You all agreed quickly that Ash would be the next voted out.

“2 to go,” you said triumphantly. “I thought I was gonna drag Corpse down, but it’s going okay!”

The round started again and you could feel yourself getting tired. Hopefully this wouldn’t be too much longer to finish the game.

You circled round Corpse a few times, hoping that he would understand your signal. Luckily he did, and you both vented to Decontamination where Skyunno and Jack were. The room had already started to emit steam, making it extremely easy for you both to vent unnoticed and kill them both.

You grinned at the Victory message that flashed up.

“Good game guys!” you said. The others congratulated you and Corpse on your win and you smiled at the sound of your names together. You had it bad.

“It was all YN,” Corpse said.

“Pfft you ssh being humble, it was all you,” you replied, taking your hair out of your ponytail and running your hand through it.

“Your hair looks nice,” Corpse commented and your eyes widened. Your heart started to beat a little quicker. How long had he been watching your stream?

“It’s bad to watch someone’s stream without telling them,” you replied, making a show of pouting for the camera.

He laughed a little. “What can I say, I’m a bad guy,” he said, singing the last words. You laughed at the sudden Billie Eilish.

“Guys, either play another game, or get a room,” Felix interrupted. You blushed a little and rolled your eyes, the chat going crazy from the corner of your eye.

“And that’s my cue to exit,” you said, yawning. “Bye guys, have a good night!” You wished everyone and your chat goodnight before closing the stream and leaning back in your chat. You couldn’t believe Corpse had been watching you. You hadn’t said anything too incriminating, but still.

You prepared for bed, settling back into the softness of your pillows as you grabbed your phone - a terrible habit you really needed to stop.

Corpse: Can I call you?

You gulped at the message that appeared on your screen, a gnawing feeling of nervous clung to your throat as you typed yes. His name came up almost instantaneously and your hand shook as you pressed to accept the call.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey, what’s up?” you asked, trying to keep your voice even while your heart beat erratically in your chest.

“It was nice playing with you again,” he commented.

You sat up a little as you held the phone against your ear. “Did you call me to tell me that?”

“I haven’t spoken to you in a while.”

You sighed a little. “Yeah, I’ve been a bit busy, sorry - “

“You’re lying to me and I don’t know why,” he replied. You had never heard his voice like that before; so angry and hurt. You tapped your foot against your mattress as you thought what to say.

“I -”

“Did I do something?” he asked. You had been so selfish; blocking him out to avoid being hurt, but you hadn’t thought about his feelings. He was more popular than you were, you had assumed he would be fine, that he wouldn’t care if you were around or not.

“No, you didn’t do anything, I swear -”

“Then what? Because I thought we were friends, close friends and then suddenly you pretty much disappear. But you’re still streaming with other people. It’s pretty shitty of you.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek and looked up, the sting of tears threatening to fall. “It was really shitty of me, I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” he asked. “Please just tell me.”

“I don’t know what I’m meant to say,” you replied softly.

“What do you want to say?”

You blinked, the anticipation of unspoken words caught in your throat, making it hard to swallow. The taste of them was bitter on your tongue. “I...I have feelings for you.”

There. You had said it. There was no taking it back now, and you felt like your heart was about to shatter with every single second of silence that passed. You could hear him swallow on the other end of the phone. “Are you saying you’re in love with me?”

You bit your lip, taking in the meaning of the question he had asked. It wasn’t something you had thought of, you hadn’t conceptualised your feelings for him, not put them in a box labelled love or anything. “I don’t know. I feel something for you. And it kinda sucks being your friend and having those feelings. So I pulled away.”

“Why does it suck?”

You laughed bitterly. “Why wouldn’t it? Feeling something for someone that doesn’t feel the same is fucking shitty.”

“I asked you to flirt with me YN -”

“Yeah, for fun,” you interrupted.

“No, I said for fun, but really I just wanted you to,” he replied. “I feel something for you too. How could I not? Has anything I’ve ever said to you sounded like it was just for fun?” You smiled at his response, your heart no longer on the fit of breaking, but suddenly doing flips and soaring through your chest, radiating warmth through your body.

“Oh,” you said, your brain was overloaded with thoughts, and was apparently no longer capable of coherent sentences.

“Oh? That’s a great response, thanks,” he teased, but you could tell he was smiling as he spoke.

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that, I don’t really know what to say honestly,” you replied.

“Well, baby, how about you say yes to a date?” he asked.

“Yes.”

[imkylotrash]

Perfidy

Pairing: Saul Silva x reader

Request: Reader is in alliance with Beatrix and has been sent by Rosalind to get close to S to find out more about the teachers' plans. After a while, she feels guilty coz she really fell in love with him and confesses about betraying their relationship and sabotaging his plans. S stays mad at her for a while but he loves her too so he forgives her maybe and then fluffy floof? Anonymous And Saul and Reader who is on Rosalind’s side; a highly regarded soldier entrusted to be one of the guards of Saul where he is imprisoned. Over time there is some kind of connection or attraction there (not sure if mutual) which complicates things. It can be unresolved/left open or if you come up with an ending cool! Anonymous

A/N I did a little twist at the end, and I'm not really sure how well it worked 😬

Tagging: @grey-girl @intoanothermind @artsyle @baueoud @glowingatdawn @anreeixcobra @kingunder221b @lflores2008 @alexiapayne12 @quarterback-5 @estelmei @alice-the-nerd @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @shadowhuntyi

"Food." You place the tray on the floor backing out of the room to keep an eye on him. When the door closes, you take a deep breath that you didn't know you needed.

"That's all?" It's the first time you've seen him since Alfea. He looks horrible already. The Solarian prison is a tough place to survive. Part of you worries about him, but you push that in the back of your mind trying to crush any affection you might feel towards him. You can't like him - and he certainly doesn't like you.

"What do you mean?"

"You've got nothing else to say? After using me for information, making me believe that you lov-" Words fail the soldier as he looks at you through the glass that confines him. Of course, it isn't normal glass. It's been reinforced and manipulated to prevent cracking. It's the most secure prison in the whole of Solaria.

"I was doing my job." He throws the tray of food towards you but you don't flinch. It won't do any damage.

"That was a waste of food. Some people would kill for a meal like that."

"I feel like you're always running off to talk to Farah or Ben," you whine as he comes back from yet another long meeting. You want in on those meetings. You want to know what they're doing to keep the Burned Ones at bay. You want access to Dowling's office. You want it all, and you have to play this stupid game of pretending to be here just for Saul.

"Maybe you should just come next time then. I'm sure they'd appreciate your point of view," he says so casually that you almost drop the glass you're holding. It cannot be that easy. You've been seeing each other for three months and already, he seems to trust you.

"Really?" You could intel on Bloom to help Beatrix, you could find a way to break out Rosalind. It seems far too easy but he nods his head and as promised brings you with him for the next meeting. You're surprised by the guilt that lingers in the corners of your heart, as you walk back from the meeting hand in hand.

"I really liked seeing you involved tonight. It's nice bringing you and the rest of my world together," Saul admits a little sheepish.

"I appreciated you letting me be a part of it." The words roll off your tongue so easily it scares you a little. You squash the part of you that might hold any sort of feeling towards Saul and focus on the information you got tonight. Any day now, you'll be able to break out Rosalind.

"You think I care about food? I want to know what the hell is going on! What did you do to Sky?" Your fingers are itching to be run through his hair, but you also don't have a death wish at the moment so you stay on your side of the protective barrier.

"Sky is just fine. He's still at Alfea studying." This little piece of information seems to relax Saul slightly, but you can still see the betrayal in his eyes. He hates what you did to him, but you're not entirely convinced he actually hates you.

"I should've known you weren't being truthful. You never cared about anything other than yourself." You clench your jaw to keep yourself from admitting everything you've been ignoring for the past year but he sees the crack in your facade. He knows he hit a nerve, and he'll definitely be using that to his advantage later. There are no rules to how this game works anymore - something you're both very aware of.

"I'll let you get some sleep. I'll be back by dawn."

"Are you still awake?" You keep quiet hoping he'll believe that you're sleeping. You can't face him right now knowing that tomorrow he'll be given the title traitor and be escorted out of here in handcuffs. He's quick to undress and crawl under the covers. His warm body almost melts the ice you've tried to seal your heart with.

"I just wanted to let you know that I love you," he whispers unaware that you're awake. It's the first time he's said and even you can't ignore the butterflies in your stomach. As the amazing actor you have become, you pretend to slowly wake up.

"Hi baby," you whisper with a smile cuddling up to him. You don't say a word about what you just heard and he doesn't repeat it. But it hangs in the air between you.

"I'm sorry I woke up. Go back to sleep," he says kissing your forehead. How are you ever meant to go back to sleep after hearing that? Your entire body feels electrified to the point where you can't pretend you don't feel the same way about him. You want him even if goes against everything you believe in.

"I wasn't sleeping." He knows what your confession means.

You return precisely at 4:30am knowing this is the moment where the cameras reboot giving you just five minutes before they'll be back on. You're carrying a set of clothes and a backpack filled with provision.

"You ready?" You open the door handing him the clothes. The timer on your wristwatch lets you know that there are 3 minutes left before the cameras are on again.

"Ready." He keeps a hand on your shoulder to keep up with your pace. This time of the morning, all the guards are in the meeting room waiting for assignments for the day which is the perfect opportunity to slip past them unnoticed.

"Left," you whisper turning the corner with Saul right behind you. 1 minute. Fresh air hits your skin instantly calming you down. The hard part is over now.

"I wasn't sure if you were coming or not," Saul says slightly out of breath. He's still angry with you, but it's nothing like the way he looked at you back in his cell. When you told him to act enraged at you, you hadn't expected him to play the part so well. You're still doing your very best to keep all feelings towards Saul out of your mind. You're doing this to prove that you've had a change of heart. You know it'll be a long time before he'll fully trust you again.

"Of course I came." It's your way of saying those three words back to him, and he doesn't miss the intention. So much has changed between the two of you, but you know that you want to fix it. And this is the start.

"I wasn't sleeping." You want to tell him that you love him too, but there are other truths you'll have to admit before you can get to that part.

"I've been working with Rosalind. Bloom is going to free her," you say trying to remember the feeling of his skin pressed against yours. He pulls away looking ready to run alert the others but he sees something in your eyes that stops him.

"It's too late. Beatrix showed her the way to Rosalind." You know what comes next. He'll yell, throw something and then probably yell some more.

"Tomorrow, you'll be arrested and taken to a Solarian prison."

"Why are you telling me all of this? You could've gotten away with it." For such a brilliant man, he can be quite dense sometimes. You're well aware that the anger will come sooner or later after the confusion is cleared up, but you're using it to your advantage right now.

"Listen to me. This is going to happen no matter what. I thought I was on the right side of history, but the time I've spent here just proved me wrong." You try to take his hands in yours, but he pulls away. He's hurt, betrayed by the one person he thought he could count on.

"They're going to arrest you, and I will be assigned to guard you, which means I can break you out."

"Thank you. For helping me." It's the best he can offer you right now, and you'll happily take it. Anything that isn't pure hatred is a step in the right direction.

"I'm sorry it even came to this." You know you'll be given plenty of chances to prove your loyalty in the future as you take back Alfea, and you'll make use of all of them. This time, you know what you're fighting for, and he's standing right in front of you.

"Follow me?" You mean to say it as an order, but it comes out a question.

"Yes, ma'am."

[aphrodite1288]

what do you think 'bout this? the one who said that D(ispatch) word following kai everywhere since march claiming herself as an insider. i'm lil bit frustation about this, not kai anymore

Oh GOD EVERYONE IS SENDING ME THIS PIC! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YALL THIS MORNING 🤣

I don't know if we're talking about same girl or not but the only rumored Gf I know Ji has since late 2020 is his supposed current gf so it was even before March and still til know those sasaengs online talk about her and him since December 2020! So if in March he changed his rumored GF then we're not talking abt same girl which I doubt coz I've seen only her that was claimed to be his GF since late 2020 so maybe it's the same girl ..

Anyways.. I asked for her information and I was told to buy it but OFC since I'm rich 🤑 I didn't pay a cent. Coz duh?? Rich ppl get everything for free!

ANYWAYS..

So I had her pic and account 😪 they claim she is his GF she is a model and they say he takes her all the time to his schedules! How they know?? Well their evidence is : coz she always takes pics in places he is in! Such as in Udo Inn she took pics there and posted them on her IG and in The devil wears Jun/gnam Show she took pics there and posted them when Ji was there and in every schedule she takes pics there where Ji is. Which is stoopid?? Why would he take his GF to his own schedule?🤦🏻‍♀️isn't he supposed to be hiding her and protecting her?? Shouldn't they stay low-key?? So what I concluded is : She is an attention $eeker .

I didn't want to shared these info when I got them coz I found they're stoopid I would just create a fuss omg the fandom during the time we should be happy with the new Kadi moments we're having. I didn't want to ruin it all after a 2 years drought.

ANYWAYS!

So after checking her posts and acc I analysed that she is maybe a stalker an obsessed Fan or even a sasaeng who follows him around and claims herself his GF for clout! Coz she literally told everyone she is dating him! Like the whole world knows . And to gain attention and cash from his fans and sasaengs when she gives them their fake relationship info.

Oh please who would take his GF to his schedule where cameras are everywhere?? Also Ji is always surrounded with female staff around in every schedule female staff of SM and of the other company that holds the show whom he doesn't know 💁🏻‍♀️so her taking pics in every schedule he has in the same time he is there and when he shares his pics on his IG.. is very suspicious to me! She may be one crazy part-time staff whom is obsessed with him. That's a weak supposition but anyway the thing is :She wants attention! Like "HEEEEY HELLO IT'S ME I'M HERE WHERE JI IS! SO I MUST BE HIS GF"💁🏻‍♀️

And since January 2021 all those stoopid Sasaeng pages kept posting this phrase " Ji must be careful he is followed by dispatch and he is not very careful! Dispatch may catch him easily he is so stupid and careless"!

Oh and what I was told when I got her info is pure pics of her BUT NEVER AN INTERACTION WITH JI! NO PIC WITH HIM NOR THEM BEING ON A DATE NOR ANYTHING?? So how are they so sure they're dating??

Whatever..!

He is building his new Variety Entertainer Image and With Jongdae's marriage and Chanyeol's 10 gfs scandal he knows how that affected all the Exos and their reputation HE CAN'T RISK TO HAVE ANOTHER DATING SCANDAL while he is WELL AWARE OF THE PLAYBOY IMAGE HE HAS COZ OF HIS 2 PREVIOUS DATING SCANDALS. So especially in this period when he is building his Variety Show Entertainer Image I don't think (even if it was true and he had a gf) he would be careless and go out with her let alone take her to his own schedules 💁🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Normally when Idols are in the epitome of a new career (wether actor or singer or Entertainer or fashion designer or models or going Solo after being in a band etc..) they tend to not date and be clean of any other possible things that may cause them a scandal such us smoking doing drugs, dating etc.. they tend to clean their image even before signing contracts and be extremely careful in their behavior around others to avoid any offensive behavior scandals or dating scandals or smoking scandals etc... Coz the companies they sign with have it in their contracts that the celebrities who sign with them shouldn't have any kind of scandals that may affect the show's stocks and ratings and views etc... They may get punished if they break these rules and go in a scandal.

So what I think is Ji with his new Variety Entertainer Image he won't risk himself to date (that if he wasn't already married to Ksoo but anyways) and even if he was dating he would be extremely careful coz not only his fucked up playboy image in on the edge of worsening but also all the shows he would be in would be affected by the dating and with Chan's previous dating scandal and Chen's marriage he saw how fans recently don't take well the dating issue so he won't risk his own image to have a third dating scandal, it would ruin him and his Entertainer career and would also affect the shows he is in. So he knows for a FACT that if he dates now! After the Chen and Chanyeol scandals and how fans didn't take it well and hated on them a lot and the hate they received and how all the Exos were affected by that from stocks to sales to views etc...Ji is a 10000% sure if he dates now and his dating comes out to light he won't get the support he had with Kais/tal and Jen/kai ! Instead He would be seen as a playboy and fuck boy and would be hated and he would get a loooot of bad comments and hate and the shows he is in would get negative comments and bad ratings and I don't think Ji would want that with his extremely vulnerable and fragile personality. He just started recovering from his depression coz of Bad comments and haters and he said how he went to the psychiatrist back in Radio Star show in 2019. So I'm sure he wouldn't be able to take the attention and hate again.

And I don't think in his case, a dating scandal would be beneficial to increase his popularity and attract eyes to him in order to boost his new Variety Entertainer Image, I mean that startegy is very efficient sometimes but for idols who never had dating scandals before which is not his case coz he already had 2 dating scandals with THE IT DIVA GIRLS of THE ERAS back then!

So for me it's a No No.

And what y'all think 🤔???

Do enlighten me with ur opinions and other things you searched and found??

Can y'all share the page and comments on that post in the pic above?? Coz I'm clearly now following that acc so I want to see more, i want to see their comments and what ppl are saying!

So can y'all share this with me in Dms??

[arpitsrivstva]

A late night talk with my father

Tonight, as there is a construction work happening at my house, I got to have a chat with the person whom I dont really like much. It’s such a thing that when you have no choice but to pass the time together, you talk and then you feel good about each other. Well, maybe he felt good about me, coz I was not very much responsive. Though, as I do, I asked him questions and sparked him with a topic on which we could start a talk together. Coz, I know, if the person is elder to you, he would be having a lot of experience that will take years for you to build, so keep on understanding, observing and questioning. That’s why parents are parents, I mean, the ultimate guide of life. Mostly they guide us in the starting phase of our lives and then we think that we then know everything and could take our life further alone and chase our dreams or whatever (which only few people do). But the truth is the truth. You will always be behind them in life experience coz they have seen things more than you. I think there is no generation gap, there is always a conversation gap! I know I know I previously dissed about him in my previous blog but it was not like I hate him or something, I was telling ya the flaws of this old guy and why he can be a pain in the ass sometimes in my life, haha. We have had these types of conversations before, anyways, many a times, okay, at least a few times but, this one made me think about something which I wanted to blog about.

So we were talking about the construction, our neighbours, social stuff. But then we came onto a better and more thoughtful topic, seeing two to three electricity meters in every houses nearby as we were having a walk. We started talking about how nowadays every family was just splitting up, getting nuclear, including my family (It is a disaster). Personally, I love when I imagine being in a joint family but I can only imagine. What there’s not to imagine, is the hatred and jealousy and arguments which takes place often in my home - and again, I can’t do anything about it - messed up minds. The splitting and everything, in my concern and thoughts, causes the children to get very conserved and become introverts and lacking social skills. If you think about it deeply, as I did, I think you would agree with me, and maybe even you come up with more things related to this or the causes of it and the consequences as I am talking about. First of all, you think many times before talking to your own family members and if there’s a child - the biggest loss is of his. He is losing half or more of his family, for god’s sake. And all the fighting and arguments and all are ofcourse complementary. I read a thing, today itself, about why there are age restrictions to many things, it is, because a child’s mind is at developing phase till the age of around 20. And whatever he/she sees, experiences and observes and is taught, they absorb it real quick and apply in their life and become like that in the future, and all of these things take up a big part of his/her thoughts and affects the future life. For me, I see people getting weirder and weirder day by day, especially the younger ones(Or am I getting only those types of... It is a matter of concern then, dont laugh!). But I, as an optimist, think that we will improve, and like me, other people are also realizing things and will implement in their life in such a way that everything will get better and better. I have a big hope for the next and future generation youngsters. I think it will be great:)

I think if I talk about the causes of family splitting - I mean, ofcourse as we all know, splitting means splitting of the kids. The off-springs of the elderly (head of the family). And mostly, they are more than one. The general reason as we all know, is that they dont get to like each other as they grow up (conversation gap). But why? - The thing is, they dont have that mutual understanding nor they want to tolerate each other’s flaws, anymore. They just want no one to interfere and face no issues in the future and live with the ones whom they like. Well, everybody wants that. Some compromise and some don’t. Compromising is pretty rare though. So these things are what my father told me about what he saw in his life and the splitting. He ended up this convo with a question, saying - Why people want solitude over family! I said to myself - parents’ mistake? And I think yes, it is - bad parenting!. It is the duty of the particular parent who is of those children to grow them up in such a manner that they understand the value of UNITY and never lack RESPECT towards each other. They should take action from the first day of them arguing except debating on a particular subject when they are adults. Coz before that, they are just kids. But dont wait for the time to make them understand in such a way, that their age for making them explain something goes away with their attitude. Keepin’ them under control would be becoming strict, but the thing I think they should do is always being the only head of the house taking any decisions with the kids’ agreement too. They should make the children feeling involved TOGETHER in stuff they should be and trigger their thought process together making them realize in which particular field or area the other sibling is lacking or is compatible to be through. I hope I am making sense. They should keep an attitude towards their children and be in a way that they should feel the importance of a parent and why you are one! Arise true love between the children and make them understand to work together and make strong long lasting memories together. The only thing important I am emphasizing which lacks, is respect. The younger sibling never realizes what things the older one has done for them when they were kids (rude and ill-mannered) and on the other hand, the older one can’t find the reason why he/she should do anything for the younger one as he is never credited and respected (ego). And many other things. I am telling it my way whatever I think, but I am also just a 21 year old kid. Sometimes just an incident is enough to break everything apart. But everyone should have that courage and realization to say sorry for their mistake instead of feeling sorry or that big ego on their chest for the rest of their lives living alone. I will be a little biased for the elder siblings coz I am one of them and I think it’s always the younger ones who are the crooked ones. Not payed much attention, you know, because they are always young for our parents as compared to us.

Of all the things, I think even living under the same roof, we should everyone their own space and respect it. Just eating quietly together (without any fucking TV) can make everything enjoyable and let forget the illness of a relationship. Living together has more benefits obviously. And anyway, the kids will have a way better childhood with more people to love them plus the many company he will have which will keep him busy. All my life, until now, I have seen just happiness and joy with a lot of fun when I see the families in which all of them adjust and live together and celebrate everything conjunctively, with fighting every coming problems and situations in their lives among themselves. After all, life is short and there are not many good people we meet outside who will know about us as good as our family members in our entire life. And money and anything, can’t give us that feeling and that pure careless and childish joy which a single family member can, because our past is connected with each other and there are not many things to hide and be ashamed of, coz its our family - they have to be with us anyways, accepting us forever, with our mistakes, coz its our family, and they have no choice:)

It could be so much fun!

And ya there’s one more thing I would like to say - every member is mostly different from other in a family and that uniqueness makes it better. We might not understand the value of family in the present, but there would be a day in our life, later, when we will, but then it might be too late (like we say about the importance of education and studying). So, keep a little patience and chill. The ones who have matured enough to understand life in the prime time, always have a benefit but ones who are not, will always lack something and so, they should always look out and reach out!

[autumnpleaves]

can you tell me about your friends? -C (you dont have to)

Ooh! Sure, C! No problem! Hmm, since it doesn’t really specify which ‘friends’ you’re talking about, I’m going to talk about IRL and online ones! XD 

This is gonna be a long one, but only because I love, appreciate, and care for my friends :) 

So let’s start with my... 

IRL friends ^-^

I won’t be using their ‘real names’ so... meh. 

First up we have Eggen! :) 

She’s such a joy to be around (no this is not sarcastic). She has this weird fluctuating emotions sometimes and it’s scary to deal with (but not as scary as Jessie-). Funny story about how we actually met was that we had this conjoining class in Ext. Maths and she was from another class. I was still a new student then, so I wasn’t really familiar with anyone and my friends from *my* class were in Ext. Maths too, and were friends with Eggen, hence we all had this weird group thingy at one portion of the classroom and we hung out together. 

Now see, here, we weren’t really *friends* then. More like acquaintances XD 

BUT- 

I texted her because I saw in her profile, that she was a *HUFFLEPUFF* (which is different now, because it didn’t fit anymore- She’s a slytherin now :)) and I texted her saying “OH MY GOSH! YOU’RE A HUFFLEPUFF TOO?!!” I was a dork. It was stupid. And she replied “Haha, yeah...” and lemme tell you, I’m surprised why she’s still my friend to this day XD 

She’s improved a lot since then, and I am honestly quite frankly really *really* proud of her. She’s grown a lot (literally, coz she’s short and metaphorically, coz she’s so talented and skilled and smart now! [Not that she wasn’t smart before, just saying, definitely you can see progress]) She’s talented in drawing, ballet, has great ideas, really hard working, productive, one of the most inspirational person I know :) I’m glad to call her my friend :D 

(Only I get to call her Eggen though 0-0 ANyONe else who dares, will get a smack from me-) ALSO did I mention she likes to torture people by throwing her erasers at them? It’s funnnn memories :’) 

Next up we haveeeee Lizze!!

Lizze now this one, I didn’t meet until like... at least a year after Eggen. Honestly. Don’t judge me, our school is biiggggggg. She had long hair then. At first I see her here and there, and it was pretty chill. Nothing too... ya know- friendsy just like oh yeah I recognize you. We were in the same scholarship program! So that was fun! :) 

We didn’t officially properly meet until like a year after though, and well let’s just say it was fun. She’s one of the only friends I was able to rope into watching Sanders Sides with me and is also a huge geek nerd XD  She’s ALSO REALLY REALLY HECKING TALENTED IN WRITING?! LIke WHAT?! WHo even?! 

Yeah, such a great friend. She’s one of the people I go to when in need of any writing advice, or just advice in general! She really gives that second opinion and really takes things into account and I’m really just plain glad to call her my friend. I love her so much and like we would discuss and hang out sometimes on VC late into the night and it’d be funny watching her trying to navigate around her messy room :’) Ahh! Fun times XD 

Then we have... NICO!! :) 

Nico... was my first ever friend. Literally. In the new school. I’m gonna lay down the scenario XD

I walked into class on orientation day, not aa lot of students were there yet, I was early (for once). Nico was sitting on the left side of a table (we had two student tables) two rows from the back, near the windows. I walked in and was like Hm. Where should I sit? So I Decided that I wasn’t gonna be a wimp and decided to walk and sit next to Nico. He was also surprisingly a new student, so we kinda like related for a bit XD 

Flashforward and Nico is one of my close friends? I mean he’s there and he’s fun to hang out with XD (I don’t do labels, sorry XD) We would joke around, play around, and he’s just a great fella all around! It’s just sometimes people might make fun of him and he’d get insecure sometimes, which makes me sad and yeah! Favorite memories with him would always be in Ext. Math. We’ve landed in the same class (coz we switch around every year) like twice and everytime it’d be the same! And well every time in Math I would ‘show off’ my amazing math skills and he’d try to compete with me. It was fun every time. *dreamy sigh* 

I miss the competitions really. We’d compete to see who would finish first, who would do what part, and when either of us are confused we would annoy the other to get the answer XD I miss him :’) 

Then we get... JILL! :D 

Jill was another friend I met in my first year at the school. At first, she used to hang out with this other friend because they were stuck to each other since like primary, but slowly they drifted (which in my opinion might be for the best 😬) 

She’s an otaku. A pure bred otaku. I had to deal with her anime fanatic years for like... 3 years and counting now. Why. But she’s wonderful and drawing and would always have this bad habit of drawing on anything and literally whatever surface she finds. The desk, her notebooks, her test papers, her *SKIN*, *MY* skin, her WATER BOTTLE (like what THE HECK- JILL?!) but like, it’s endearing XD 

She’s great at complaining and hates hugs. She also hates mangoes- (If you remember what my catchphrase was? Yeah the, “GUESS WHAT? JILL HATES MANGOES” yeah it’s this Jill XD) I’m not joking. She’s great at complaining XD 

Funny story is that once we had to do this video project thing and we just had Jill complain about the amount of homework we had to like compare stuff and what not, and she did it. IN ONE BREATH. NO HESITATIONS. NO SCRIPT. ONE TAKE. WE were all DYING after that XDDD Coz she’s literally known as a complainer and she has great logic skills. She also really LOVES money... so... i mean... yeah. She’s really like... conservative with her money but isn’t afraid to use it to spoil others, but not herself XD 

Finally but not the last (I got more friends, but I don’t really... connect with them enough?) is BEEP! (no this is not her actual name, I just don’t really call her by her real name much) 

The OG friend from first day of school! Nico? YEah Step ASIDE BRO! XDD This gal is my go-to cuddle buddy. LIterally. Our moms are kinda like... besties? (*shrugs* it’s complicated) so we kinda do a lot of things together XD We go to gym together, go to places together, road trip together. She’s a joy to be around. She is like the cuddliest and well usually she does get teased about for being fluffy but like that’s the best part about her 🥺. Her mom is also really picky about her appearance which as her friends, we were pretty annoyed by it, but I love her the way she is :) 

First day of school and she walked by and asked to sit next to me. I said yes, without looking at her, coz I was *shy* (shush). Then we had an ice-breaker thing and LMAO guess what we bonded on- 

FRICKING HARRY STYLES AND WATTPAD- (look, if you’ve been on wattpad, you’d know that Harry Styles stories on there is never really... safe. in a sense.) SO, we’d immediately bonded over that and literally the rest of the day was history. We’d go through class everyday together and it would be a blast, OF COURSE she had other friends and I had mine, we weren’t really in the same ‘stereotypical’ group (like she has the more... *mean girls* kinda group [I’M NOT SAYING SHE’S MEAN! But, I’m saying that they have the popular group- yeah there that XD]) 

I had my own group but we hang anyways because it’s fun. She has the most beautiful laugh, like... literally the loudest and beautiful-est laugh ever XD We have so many inside jokes. She’d hold on to them and start laughing randomly XD She cries a lot when she laughs so that always spurs us to continue laughing, gosh damn it, I miss her. I’m smiling so hard writing this. 

XDD

Aight! That’s from my IRL friends! 

Next we have my online friends! :DDD

First up, we have YAWN! :D

Yawn is quite frankly, the first person I ever actually connected to on Tumblr here XD 

I’ve been through tens and hundreds of discord servers, jumped in tumblr group chats, and no where have I ever met anyone as wonderful as Yawn. Literally. 

I would say we pretty much clicked and when *she* (look I asked okay. they said yes to all pronouns so- >:3 I’m going to have fun with it XD) expressed xeir love for PUNS of all things, literally, I was shooketh. SO I LITERALLY SPAMMED HIM WITH ALL THE PUNS I COULD THINK OF- ANd then HE LITErally PropOSEd- XDDD I don’t know man. It’s amazing :’) I don’t know how I got this lucky. 

Yawn is like that refreshing giddiness you have as a child when you see a new toy or something. Yeah that’s Yawn. Literally every time we text it’s just so damn wholesome and so fun and it’s great! We’d talk about the most random things ever and it’d be amazing :))

Hhhhhhhhhhh, I’m just so damn proud of zem. LIke. Literally. Xir has come so far, and like... we haven’t really met for long yet but I just care about xir sooooooooooooooo much. It has always been there for me and I’m just so appreciative of it. We have so many- *WHEEZE* inside jokes- XDDD 

One I can think of is literally “I run you, Shakespeare” and it’s HILARIou- XDDDDDDDDDDDD

I can’t- It’s beautiful XD 

I just can’t believe that our friendship literally started with me just sucking up my anxiety and just texting people stuff and I honestly don’t know how it continued from there- XD 

They are the most accepting person I know. Genuinely. I don’t know where I’d be without them :’) 

Next we have... VOMMY! :DDD Or C-Gal... We gotta bring that nickname back XD 

First of all, we met in a Fander Pride Meet Up server. VOmmy CAN SPEAK DUTCH and is SOO CREATIve and SO FRIckING Hard WOrking and such an inspiration. Always greets us and is always down for hugs and cuddles XD 

Such a great tea friend, and has like the best aesthetic ever- literally. So old and vintage like a vintage mom and always down to talk about stuff! Ze is soooooo smart as well! And would infodump sometimes when ze’s not busy about stuff that I absolutely adore and love to hear about! Honestly the best vommy ever and ze has PLANTS like- *Woooooooooo!* 

We met vommy and literally we can always geek out with zem. Sometimes life gets hard and we need to scream it out every now and then, and vommy would be there :))) 

I am so proud of zem and just so damn happy to call zem my friend uwu 

ALSO HAVE I MENTIONED THAT ZE CAN SING AND PLAY THE UKE AND WRITE SONGS LIKE WHAT THE HECK THAT’S EPIC AH

Then we haveeeeee... STARBURST! OR BOB THE BUILDER!

ANOTHER friendo we met in the Fander Pride Meet Up Server (seriously a lot of cool friendos there). One of the best advice givers and the most caring older sibling ever. Literally. Like I can’t stress this enough. He’s such a great cousin duck and just a great listener friendo ever. 

Such a fricking talented writer and MUSICIAN AND FRICKING ARTIST LITERALLY THE WHOLE SHEBANG IT’s RIDICulOUS 

I’m literally so proud of him. It’s crazy. He’s always been there for us, all of us. And is there to provide hugs and arms to cry on. ALSO HAVE I EVER MENTIONED HOW BEAUTIFUL HE IS??! LIKE WHAT THE HECK- AHhhhhHHHHHH

SO BEAUTIFUl- and PRETTY and GORGEOUS 

Next we haveeeeeee- POPPY the POPTART! :D 

First time we met in the Fander Pride Meetup, I may of may not have offended them. 0-0 

woops. 

I still feel really bad about that honestly. Uhhh, anyways, I won’t go too in depth on that. BUT ANYWAYS- 

THEy Have been such a WONDERFUL presence in my life. LIterally. LIke They have such an cheerful vibe ever and would never fail to make me laugh or like coo or like anything coz they are soooo ADORABLE! They are also like really great cuddler and hugger and sooooo sooooo sooooo handsome :DD

Sure there are rough patches in their lives, but I adore them and am sooo sooo soo proud of them for being able to go through it and still come out with their heads high and just so damn happy that they will not give up that easily. I really admire their strength, and we are always there to support if they need help :) 

Also, go check out @/poptartsaysurloved pinned post. See if anyone is willing or can help! :) 

Next we have... ATLAS! Or LAssie as I like to call him XD

He’s one of the screaming cereal that I most definitely did not meet in the Fander Pride Meet Up and instead in another server and I’m glad to have met him XD 

I don’t know the *exact* thing I texted him, but I definitely remember asking him about something in his status and I most definitely was satisfied with my answer and we just started talking in DMs for a bit, before I invited him in to the screaming cereal bowl server! :D 

IT IS A BLAST 

LITERALLY 

ARSon kid can’t go a day without wanting to blow something up and frankly I’m concerned but such a great friendo

Provider of memes, jokes, laughs, hugs, cuddles, and fun time XD 

I can’t even, it’s crack head moments every time with that lassie XD 

AHHHHHHHHHHHH FINALLY but obviously not the LAST W E HAVE HEDGIE the ShellY HOGGLES

HONESTLY I LOVE THIS GURLY SOHECKING MUCH 

She deals with my bull crap every day kind of and deals with a bunch of my mushy feelingsy moments! I can’t stress enough. Literally Shelly McScotty over here is like the most relatable person ever. Mood all the way and we have like SOO MANY SIMILAR INTERESTS 

IT’s CRAZY! When I first found out that she watches like Unus Annus, Winx Club (SHOOSH IT’S A GOOD SHOW SHUSH) Literally, I’m like this is the best person ever. She’s also knowledgeable in a lot of stuff and is literally like the best person to go to when you need to get like informational stuff

Literally. I would info dump on her and she’d be such a great listener. Fricking Disney and Potterhead GEEK of the decade. HOly heck this lady is the literal embodiment of a disney princess. FIRST OF ALL, PERSONALITY IS THERE. SECOND OF ALL, HER LOOKS! HAVE YOU SEEN? LITERALLY SO DROP DEAD GORGEOUS ON FLEEK MAKEUP! AHHHHHh

I can’t get enough of this dude. Gives great advice and insight on soooo many things and I’m just so glad to have met this gurl. I don’t know how exactly we met, but I’m glad we did. 

MIND YOU most of my friends are either from Tumblr or Discord so XD 

AHHHHHHHHh

Welp! This was a fun! I definitely spent wayyyyyyyyy too long on this thing, but it’s worth it! XD 

Hope you have fun learning about my friends from like a freaking geeking out stand point Canon! :D 

I have a feeling you wouldn’t read through this entire thing, so well... AH! Hope you have a nice day and don’t sleep too late! Tell me about your friends as well! :))  

[tellywoodtrash]

sanjivani 16.10.19 lb

OH SHIT SID HAS A BROKEN SHAADI IN HIS PAST!!?!?!!!! WHUTTTTTTT?!?!??! COZ OF HIS NAAJAAYAZ-NESS??? WHO WAS THE GIRL??? DID HE REALLY LOVE HER???? OMG YEH KYA BOMB PHENKA HUMARE UPARRRRRR?!?!

oh sis, this lipstick is not working for you in this light. it makes you look like a corpse.

asldkjldkjsaldjlaskdjla i am sorry but this is fucking hilarious man hahahahaha, what an idiottttttttt this girl is. 

sid is a much better human being than i am, coz he got concerned and moved to help her, instead of instantly bursting into laughter.

forceful face hardening. jab dil abhi bhi bada hi softtttttttt hai.

haaye, woh bhi kya din tha. aur yeh ek aaj ka din hai. sigh.

"yeh kaanch ki deewar hamesha rahegi humare beech. hamesha."

"yeh kaanch ki deewar, isse main humare beech patthar nahi banne doongi. main jaankar rahoongi ki aapko hua kya hai, dr. sid."

lord. y'all not even a couple yet and you already need hardcore couple's therapy.

"i'm sorry ishani, meri badkismati ke saaye se mujhe tumhe door rakhna hoga."

OH SIDDHU. YOU SILLY BEAN, THERE'S NO BADKISMATI KA "SAAYA" AROUND YOU. YOU ARE THE SUNNNNNNNN, BABY. *hugs him tightest, clinging to him like a baby koala bear on the back of its mom*

but just in case there is, mais suggests you contact the female lead of yehh jadu hai jinn ka coz she seems to have some kinda saaya repelling expertise.

do pal ruka khwabon ka kaaaaaaarwaaaaan, aur phirrrrrrr chal diye, tum kahaan hum kahaaaaaaan.....

it's kinda endearing how jiggy's adopted ishani as bff. honestly, there is no one purer than jignesh in this whole damn show. protecc him 4ever.

oh god, i can't watch this. i can't. it's too gross. and anyway i already saw the scene sayantani put up on insta.

I AM ACTUALLY ANGRY???????????? ANJALI IS SO HOT AND ACCOMPLISHED AND DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS THUMB LOOKING FUCKER, WHO IS ALSO SOME KINDA ACCESSORY TO MURDER (AMONG OTHER UNSAVOURY SHIT.)

also the abrupt cuts between very close moments and the bits where she's pushing him away making snarky smile are confusing me. are the close bits his imagination? ok either way, gross, fwding.

from one gross relationship to another icky one. ouff, give me a break showwwwwwwww. i want to see my baby doctors (any of them, at this poiint; not just sid/ishani.)

"wife ne kyun choda aapko?" lmao, direct to the point.

"kya faraq padta hai? meri beti mere paas hai aur woh mujhse bohut pyaar karti hai."

oh ho. there's that bit of backstory solved.

anjali sympathising with vardhan's daughter.

lmao she's like a dog with a bone.

ofc, work pressure nahi samjh paayi waala excuse. couldn’t possibly be coz you’re clearly a POS insaan huh????

HEY MAN COULD YOU STOP FEELING HER UP LIKE THIS DURING A CONVO???? THAT TOO ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE?!

"har aadmi mere paas bas ek hi cheez ke liye aata hai." anjali isn't here for your bs, vardhan.

and no it's not sex. it's access to her dad. this poor girl has sooooooooo many different facets of daddy issues, it's not even funny anymore.

he needs to stop jerking her around. it's not as romantic as he thinks it is.

also lmao he’s like idk about others, but i don’t want that from you. i don’t even like your dad.

oh anjali, no. don't make this face for thisssssss dude.

I HATE YOU. DIE.

bechaara rahil is stuck between ensuring mamu is dropped home safely and figuring out what the fuck is wrong with sid suddenly.

alllll those extra shaadi waali lightein you ppl plugged in overloaded the circuits. IN A DAMN HOSPITAL. let’s hope there’s no one on life support today.

oh god ab inka "romance" dekhna padega. yaaaaaarrrrrrr. I WANTED HOT ANDHERE MEIN ROMANCE FOR SID ISHANI. NOT THESE TWO!

man you ppl keep framing this relationship as rooted in "izzat" but like........ it doesn't feel very respectful.

oufffff spit it out shashank. do you want to bone her or not????? that's all we need to know here rn. i don't care about the izzat and dosti and falaana dimkaana. IS THIS ROMANTIC LOVE, OR FUCKING NOT? jesusssssssss.

"haan juhi, main tumse pyaar karta hoon."

OK I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND THO. COZ YOU FRAMED IT AS SOME KINDA PURE UNSEXUAL ROMANTIC LOVE AND.... I'M JUST CONFUSED. I MEAN I GET THE CONCEPT OF NON-SEXUAL ROMANTIC LOVE, I'M JUST CONFUSED AT THE WAY THIS SHOW IS CHOOSING TO FRAME IT HERE, IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS PARTICULAR RELATIONSHIP. IS SHASHANK DECLARING HIMSELF TO BE ASEXUAL? (UNLIKELY, CONSIDERING HOW MANY BACHCHE HE HAS RUNNING AROUND THE PLACE AT ANY GIVEN TIME IN THE MANY ITERATIONS OF THIS SHOW, MOST OF WHICH WEREN’T PLANNED.) BUT THAT'S THE ONLY WAY THIS DYNAMIC WORKS. MAKE A DECISION, SHOW. WHAT IS THIS FUCKING RELATIONSHIP????????

and what are we to make of juhi who was all smiley at the dosti and izzat part  of the convo, and keeps getting upset and cagey when he says "pyaar"??!?!?

ohohohohoh how the turntables. time for him to hound her for an answer.

lmao well. there’s your answer.

ok???????? why this random shot of anjali's shadow?

lmao was it really necessary for all the attendees to change outfits too? literally only the bride and groom and their fam needed to.

shashank bana siddhu. while siddhu is off bemoaning his phooti kismat somewhere. iss sab ke liye mujhe wait karwaaya itna iss episode ke liye????? ugh.

THE ONLY TWO I REALLY CARE AND STAN FOR IN THIS SHOW FILLED WITH CONFUSING IDIOTS. PURE, FLAWLESS, SASS BOIS.

lmao rishabhhhhhhhhhh man, where's your mumbai ka best pandit?????/ YOU'RE mumbai's best pandit??????

asha still upset about ishani's breakdown i guess.

awwww, sid's walking jessie down the aisle!

oh shit, while having bad shaadi flashbacks. hang in there baby, hangggg in there.

SHE CALLED HIM HER BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! ACTUAL TEARS YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao @ rishabh getting huffy at that. i can't tell if i love or hate this petty asshole.

"main marrrr rahi hoon!!!!!"

"arre main apne dulhe ko dekhne ke liye marr rahi hoon yaaar."

this is exactly the kinda gallows humour i would keep doing in a sitch like this and i fucking love jessi for being a Dramatic Bitch like me.

here comes the groom. with his bestieeeeeeee.

the rejection phobia is mega real with this one. never thought we'd see anyone more fucked up by it than sonakshi rastogi, but here we are.

but also sid, how do you look at a girl like THIS and then act surprised when ppl tell you that you’re in love with her?????

yeah try to avert your eyes all you want bro, you gonna wife her eventually.

rahil and asha are every sidisha shipper rn; dying on the inside from the.......

OMG THEY'RE THE ACTUAL CUTEST. CAN THE SHOW JUST BE ABOUT THEM????? COZ LIKE.... THAT'S A SHOW I WANNA WATCH RN. PURE SUPPORTIVE MADLY IN LOVE BABIES GETTING THROUGH LIFE, CANCER BE DAMNED.

LOLOLOLOLOL SO WE'RE REALLY GETTING ZERO EXPLANATION TO ME WHY RISHABH'S THE PANDIT THO????????

oh babeeee.

vardhan is me. KISKA ROMANCE DEKHNE KO SHURU KIYA MAINE SHOW, AUR KISKA NAIN-MATAKKA DEKHNA PADH RAHA HAI. BHAKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

sid. hon. stay strong.

ah shit. maybe melt a little. see how she's crying cozza you! come on, man! 

why repeating the “badkismati ka saaya” dialogue from before???? ouff what a hodgepodge fuckingggggg mess this ep was.

———————————————————————

blah blah two of them and their opposing zidds, we all know ishani gonna eventually win anyway.

[chuffyfan87]

Hiding. Part 74b (NSFW)

"I wish mum wasn't dead so I could live with her!"

“I know you miss your mum. And things like this, being with us all today, aren’t easy.”

"Peter and the girls are so horrible to me."

“Sometimes yes. But that doesn’t mean they don’t love you.”

Louis sat on the floor in silence for several minutes. "What does he mean that I don't see him and Jake whining?" He eventually asked.

“Andrew wasn’t very nice to the boys.”

"Oh..." Louis mumbled. "Jake said he was a jerk but..." He shrugged.

“He used to hurt the boys... and Duffy.”

"Is that what mum meant in her diary? The bit you told me not to read."

“What bit? Which diary?”

"Back when you guys all first knew each other. The bad thing that happened to Duffy."

“No, that wasn’t it.” Charlie sighed, “It’s not my secret to tell.”

Louis nodded. "Everyone has secrets."

Charlie sat down on the floor next to Louis, “Do you have secrets?”

Louis shrugged. "I guess. Do you?"

“I used to but not anymore.”

"What made you stop having secrets?"

“My secrets were beginning to hurt other people.” Charlie said sadly, “I had secrets because I thought I was protecting others but I wasn’t.”

"You were hurting them instead?"

Charlie nodded. “Yes.”

"I tried to hurt someone once..." Louis mumbled.

“What did you do?”

"I was going to put something in her coffee. I only wanted to make her puke..."

“What were you going to put in her coffee? And why did you stop?”

"I'm not sure. Something from under the sink... Em came into the kitchen and asked what I was doing."

“So you didn’t do it?”

Louis shook his head.

“Why did you want to hurt her?” Charlie asked.

"I didn't want to hurt her. I just wanted her to puke a bit."

“But why?”

"Thought it might be funny." Charlie shrugged.

“Why didn’t you do it? Because you knew it wasn’t nice?”

"Coz I knew Em would tell on me."

Charlie nodded. “Duffy loves you. You always wanted her when you were Oli’s age.”

"I did?"

“All the time.” Charlie smiled. “Every time Duffy came to visit, you always wanted her to play with you. Or have cuddles. Or read you a bedtime story.”

"I don't remember that."

“Duffy was your favourite person in the entire world. Even better than me sometimes.” Charlie squeezed Louis' shoulder.

"Did that make mum sad?"

“Sometimes.” Charlie smiled, “But you were still a mummy’s boy. You still wanted your mum. But you also liked Duffy.”

Louis mulled over his father's words for a few moments. "I could have really hurt her couldn't I?" He asked, his face filled with shame.

“Yes you could have.” Charlie sighed, “I know you are still really confused about things but Duffy and I never meant to hurt your mum. I never meant to hurt your mum.”

Another thought hit Louis. "I could have hurt the baby too couldn't I?"

“Yes.”

"I don't like the idea of another baby but I didn't mean to..."

“This really is the last baby.” Charlie replied. “I was a little unsure of the baby at first.”

"Really?"

Charlie nodded. “Yes.”

"Why?"

“Because I was scared of pushing you further away.”

"Oh..."

“I love you Louis.”

Louis lent against his dad and mumbled.

Charlie wrapped his arms around Louis. “I don’t want you to hate us anymore Louis. I’m tired of fighting.”

"I try not to." Louis replied.

“I know. I know you’re really trying and I’m proud of you for that.”

Louis nodded and moved to stand up.

Charlie stood up with him. “Are you ready to go back inside?”

"Yeh..."

Charlie squeezed Louis' shoulder again and they returned to the cafe.

Once the kids were distracted eating their meals Duffy motioned for Charlie to join her at the counter. "Why did I honestly think a day at an adventure park was a good idea?" She sighed.

“It’s been a lovely day. Apart from the boys arguing.” He reassured.

"True." She sighed. "It kinda sucks not being able to go on anything though."

“You’re not missing much.”

"I quite like roller-coasters." She chuckled.

“They’re horrendous. Always knew you were weird.”

"Being flung through the air screaming your lungs out..!" She giggled.

He kissed her tenderly, “That is my definition of hell.”

"Where's your sense of adventure?" She teased.

“Still under the covers after last night's adventure.” He smirked, his hands around her waist.

"Ah yes, about that..." She chuckled. "Our son would like to be informed by text when we decide to schedule such activities so he can stay out longer..!"

“Fair enough.” He laughed gently, “I did try and be quiet. You just make it so bloody difficult.”

She tilted her head to give him a look of pure innocence.

“You know it drives me wild when you stick your nails into my arse and back.” He smiled, “Urgh, I’m horny again.” He whispered.

"Like this?" She giggled as she shifted her hand.

“Yes.” He whispered.

She smirked as she dug her nails in deeper through his jeans.

He moaned softly, “You drive me absolutely crazy.” He whispered.

"You're gunna draw attention to yourself..." She whispered into his ear.

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you.” He whispered. “Would it make you wet if I disappeared right now and had a wank, thinking about you.”

"You wouldn't dare..!" She gasped, giggling.

“Wouldn’t I?”

"You do it and dinner's on me tonight..!" She replied suggestively.

“You want me to go and wank? Imagine I’m coming all over you?” He held her gaze.

"I don't think you've got the bottle but if you do then dinner will literally be on me..." She winked.

He smirked, “Deal.”

"I'll need proof..." She smirked.

“Ah so you are wet?” He nodded, “I’ll send you a picture, don’t you worry.”

"You are unbelievable!" She giggled.

He kissed her passionately before he squeezed her bum and disappeared to the toilet.

"Where did daddy go?" Lottie asked as her mum returned to the table.

"Um, he needed the toilet." She replied awkwardly.

Charlie had some alone time in the bathroom, his thoughts picturing Duffy in compromising positions. Her phone pinged about six minutes later.

Duffy sneaked a look down at her phone but, seeing the message was from Charlie, didn't open it. She laughed silently - at this rate they were gunna end up getting thrown out the park!

He sent her another one, a few minutes later.

"You gunna answer that mum? It might be important." Peter remarked.

"Um, no, it's nothing urgent." Duffy stammered.

“Uh ok.” Peter looked at his mum funny.

Charlie came back from the bathroom, a short while later. “Is everyone ready to go?”

"You haven't finished your food daddy." Emily pointed out.

“It’s alright honey. Daddy’s full up.”

"You still sicky?" She asked.

“A little bit.” He smiled and kissed her head. “What do people want to do now?”

"Can we go to the splash park?" Emily asked.

“Yeah, why not?” He smiled, “We’ll go back to the cottage, pick up our swimming costumes and go to the splash park?”

The kids all agreed and prepared to leave.

"You trying to distance yourself from the scene of the crime?" Duffy whispered.

“I cleaned up after myself.” He whispered.

"I should hope you did!"

“You’re so naughty.” He whispered as he kissed her neck.

"I'm not the one who misbehaved in a public toilet..."

“We usually misbehave together.” He smirked.

"That's true."

"Urgh, come on!" Tilly complained bored of waiting.

“Come on, lets go.”

They spent the afternoon at the splash park.

When they arrived back at the cottage later for the girls were still bouncing around.

They eventually wound down later to go to bed where the events of the day soon caught up on them and they fell asleep.

"I'm heading out now..." Peter remarked pointedly as he passed his parents in the kitchen.

“Going to the arcade again?” Charlie asked.

"Yeh, met a few other guys down there last night and we decided to go bowling tonight."

“Be safe, won’t you?” Charlie smiled, “Love you.” He handed him £20. “Don’t tell the others ok?”

"Oh thanks dad!" Peter grinned. "The place closes at 11pm."

“So you’ll be back by 11:15 then? Roughly? Do you have your phone?"

"Yeh." Peter replied, holding up his phone and then putting the money in his wallet. He stooped quickly as something else fell out of his pocket.

[letstaytogetheritsumo]

So in honor of the Fruits Basket reboot who would you say are your fave Furuba characters and ships (canon) and why? Least fave Furuba characters and canon ships and why?

Thank you for the lovely questions anon! As for the answers…ahem…*insert powerpoint presentation*

Fave Furuba Character/s

1.) When Ayame Sohma was introduced in the 14th episode of the2001 version, I knew there and then that I would die for this idiot, I think itis in the way he carries himself that I find endearing? he might be shunnedsometimes coz he’s loud and highkey with everything but to brush aside thosecriticisms and believe in yourself and to not conforme on what is expected fromyou, wow that takes guts, and when you learn about his backstory especially inregards to his brother, it kinda makes you root for him more and more; beneaththat loud exterior is a person who realizes his fault and tries to correct itand not let that mistake identify him as a person. That really resonates withme growing up. (Or maybe I just love extra and dramatic people to whom hesuccessfully portrayed)

2.) As a literature major, I know a story wouldn’t becomplete without a complex character which makes the story have that “oomph”factor, I think the character that really stood out for me would be ShigureSohma. I know he is problematic and selfish, like playing a game of chess andusing the other characters as pawns and disregarding them if they don’t haveany use anymore just to achieve his goal, but if you look more closely, isn’tthat how we are as humans? there are people out there who will use anything andanybody to achieve their goals and Shigure embodies that, I might be also drawnto him because I am curious as to how these morally grey characters willachieve their goals and to what extent. He balances out the story because ifhe won’t drive the other characters in the corner, those characters will bestuck forever in their grounds and the story would be meh and stagnant, he’sone of the catalysts as to why Tohru, who might still have some doubts aboutherself, seek out Akito and seek out a solution to the curse, the other half ofcourse is because of her love for Kyo. He is good at playing the villain sincea lot of readers seem to hate him, and that what makes a good character for me,when you are able to bring out emotions from your readers and know what makesthem tick

Fave Canon ship/s

1.) Kyoru through and through anon, their development isjust…ahh… I can’t explain it, I think there is just that satisfying feelingwhen you know the romance wasn’t rushed, that they didn’t have a love-atfirst-sight kind of thing, that it was gradual and you know that their actionsto each other are pure and with no hidden malice. I think part of also why theyare my ultimate ship is because they grow as partners and as individuals, whichfor me is important, that they are not dependent with each other and that theythink of their future positively and if they want their future to be good theyare aware that they need to heal and grow and not to be shadowed by their past.(I think Natsuki Takaya’s one of the many messages in the story is to continueliving and forgiving yourself for any sins you have committed as long as youare aware of them and that you are trying your best to be a better version ofyourself.)

Least fave Furuba character/s

1.) Motoko Minagawa, the President of the Prince Yuki FanClub, she was, in my opinion, a flat character; I really can’t stand her,probably because she doesn’t have any growth? I mean sure she is there toglorify Yuki and then…and then what? She feels one-dimensional to me and isforgettable. (But if any of you have a dissertation (lol) as to why she’s your favouritecharacter let me know so that I can read it and maybe change my mind.)

Least Fave Canon ship/s

1.) oh god, some of you might hate me for this butHatori/Mayuko is my least fave canon ship, Kana and Hatori were one of my favouriteand yes the backstory really devastated me. I don’t have any problems withHatori finding someone as I know he deserves the world and happiness, myproblem is, out of the many, why does it need to be someone who is close toKana? Specifically Kana’s best friend? (god I really hate this kind of trope).From what I know, Hatori’s power of memory loss is more of like hypnotism andthat it is not 100% guarantee that the person will forget about one of theSohma clan’s secret, so imagine Hatori and Mayuko going on with their lives andthere is Kana because of course, she is Mayuko’s best friend, what if one dayKana remembers everything about Hatori because she sometimes see him andMayuko? what then?? why am I ranting?? (Hatori/Mayuko stans, don’t hate me, Irespect if you love them, just let me pour out my feelings, or maybe I justneed to read some meta about the two so that I would be more open-minded abouttheir relationship, you do you guys, this is a free world.)

[r-a-n-x-i-e]

Hwayugi Overall Review

Since this is just a review, I’ll try my best not to give spoilers to the ones who didn’t watch it yet. (but that wont really happen.. so just read at you own risk)

STORY WISE:

were you addicted to GOBLIN? did you like GOBLIN? was GOBLIN your type of show/genre? if your answer is all YES then I say my friend, Hwayugi would be your cup of tea. 

but if your asking me if they are the same in terms of story? then my answer is “I dont know. I didnt watch Goblin in the first place”  LOL!!

this one I know, they have a common denominator of giving you the feels….

Kidding aside, if you want something with

Casts that are marvelous/ Great acting then its a ✔ 

if it has funny Bromance ✔ ✔

Romance with oozing chemistry of the leads ✔✔✔

and its COMEDY? A++ 

a good story? ha.ha. oooooook… we’ll get to that……

During the first half I had nothing but praises for the story was really good. This is one of the rarest shows that captured me emotionally and physically by the 1st episode…. but then again no drama is perfect, it sure got frustrating as it reaches the climax and the suppose to be climax was a big “WTF! You.must.be.kiddin.me.”

I was totally ready to forgive ep19 but then ep20 happened.. But yeah we are cool about it now.. 

Yeah. Yes. We. Are. I guess? 

now that I’ve come to that, it think the problem was because Hong sisters tried so hard to make it unpredictable that they didn’t noticed how they were already ruining the story.But then given its their work being rocky in the middle and dragging it out until the end is inevitable. But i tell you, even if it got so screwed up the addiction was still real, so I guess it was still the good eh?

yes of course it was.

CAST: 

One word: BRILLIANT

each cast were just too perfect for their role, I had nothing more to say.

LEE SEUNG GI- as great Sage, Equal to the Heavens SON OH GONG is just PERFECTION. 

He nailed the character so much that even he was an ass I couldn’t help but love him. Park Bo gum was 1st offered the role but honestly I’m really glad he turned it down tho coz i couldn’t imagine any other actor playing SOG rather than LSG. His features and personality were totally meant for the role, that’s why he became so effective in portraying it. Character wise SOG was really fun, frustrating at times, but swoon worthy at all times. yum yum yum!

OH YEON SEO- as human JIN SEON MI/SAM JANG, the most pitiful character in this drama, literally everyone just kept using her and regarded her like she’s just a thing they could throw anytime… like everyone were just so cruel to her, and I was in pain seeing that, and the more they do that the more I root for her character. 

OYS an actress got a lot of hate in her portrayal, but the more hate she got the more I fell for her too. She pulled the character JSM so well even though she says she’s just about 15% similar to her. Aint she great? I’m still bitter on how her character met her end and I want justice for that!

 CHA SEUNG WON- as CEO Woo Hwi Chul/ MA WANG the Demon Bull, 

a lot cant stand his over acting here but I greatly appreciated that otherwise, he always paved a way for funny scenes to occur. And his bromance with LSG is just superb, their interactions and bickering were so delightful to watch. Character wise he was scheming, sometimes selfish, but frequently helpful 2nd lead, the fatherly figure of everybody, I just love how he took every demons into his house and loved them. this show should be titled “MAWANG and his peculiar demon children”

Other Casts: 

all were Daebak I just couldnt help but praise them. All actors gave justice to their characters too, even the minor once became memorable. It just pains me that I didn’t get to see my desired endings for most of them (especially the girls)

for more simpler but accurate descriptions of all characters just check this out

 ROMANCE: 

ONE OF THE BEST CHEMISTRY I’VE SEEN. 1st episode they already got me. Sweet moments were not disappointing for the kissing scene were sizzling hot (IT was TRUE mehn!) but it was still your typical push-pull kind of love story.  But romance wise it was VERY VERY SUFFICIENT.

The only concern I had was they never had that COMMUNICATION between them. they were never honest to one another thus eventually ended up on them going on their own versions of  “because I love you, I will protect you with my life” bullcrap instead of just fighting it together.

CINEMATOGRAPHY:

a lot might say that it sucks but I say otherwise.

Yes the CGI was not great and cringed worthy (like what’s up with the ape looking ghost spirits anyway?) but the pan out views, the scenic views, the close up parts, and oohh them reflective shots were the best. i find those meaningful and poetic somehow,  Those actually occurred often.and I greatly appreciated it especially that you’ve get to see things in a different angle.. notable scene would be this. 

yes because I know you like this too (づ￣ ³￣)づ

and the CG Dragon- the “IT WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED”.. OOOHH PLEASE DONT GET ME THERE if you don’t want to see a full page rant.

but let me praise it though for it exceeded my expectations.. it wasn’t BAD at all.. it was WORST!! 

They only had about a week or two to prepare this so lets give it  to them, well at least it turned out cute. VERY Child Friendly.

but overall the shots for the drama were actually pleasing to watch.

OST: 

It served its purpose very well. Need I to say more? 

All of them brought life and drama to the scene so effectively. It was able to carry out all of emotions needed and I was really carried away by the scene each time the music plays.. and the lyrics were a perfect fit too. Top 2 faves are still When I saw you by Bumkey & if we are destined by BEN.

only question is why is the instrumental music that was played during EP14 backhug confession scene from SOG not included in the full album.. can you share it to me please if you have a copy. Thanks

CONCLUSION: To close this overly dramatic review, as I said on a previous post I’ll rate it 8.8/10. 

I would have given it a much higher rating if only ep19-20 didn’t occur. But we are good now, ain’t even mad anymore……….

But you know what? The only thing that irks me was the way they delivered the ending and solved the issues of the show! First off, WTF did they just do to just kill SM off?!!  her death was meaningless, it didn’t even served its purpose!!! Then, the first 60 mins of the last ep was soooo wasted to pure nonsense..This show has about 90% potential of having a happy ending since they’ve resolved everything in 19(manner of how it was done was so effed btw) but nooo they decided to focus on a useless illogical Amnesia arc…..

ok need to stop because just as I said im pretty cool about it now. Yesssss we are… Aren’t we?

So the golden question is.. Am i hoping for a season 2 or do I want it? 

My answer is NO. Why? Because that is near to impossible (wag ka ng umasa bes mas masasaktan ka lng) . No but seriously, Hong Sisters somehow closed it anyway by giving a very plausible input (OG getting SM from Underworld) to the audience that whatever scenario they might think it will still lead to a 100% sureball Happy Ending conclusion..

and plus I don’t want them ruining my already perfect version of  the ending. 

P.S.  And just to be clear… I am not salty about it anymore. I’ve forgiven them sincerely, so I’m totally cool about everything already.OK? 

LOL.NO! NEVER!

[lady-thor-foster]

Hours in Midnight // Thor x Reader (P3)

Pairing: Thor x POC!Reader, Bonus Jord, Odin and Sif Word Count: 1.6k+ Warning: Angst, Violence (battlefield fighting, brief gore, death), Language, mystery 

Summary: Just how deep do these secrets run?

A/N: wOW. The feedback on this has been amazing! I can only hope you enjoy this next part as much as the others <3 This is a bit shorter than the previous ones because the next chapter is…ahem…pretty lengthy. Also…I think this might have turned into an accidental soulmate au type thing.

Inspiration: “Secrets” ~ The Pierces

“Got a secret, can you keep it? Swear this one you’ll save, Better lock it in your pocket, Taking this one to the grave, If I show you, then I know you won’t tell what I said, ‘Coz two can keep a secret if one of them is dead…”

Previously // Next Chapter

The moment Thor left her lavish home Jord knew she needed to summon Odin immediately. Casting her runes and whispering an incantation in a long forgotten tongue, she all but demanded he get his all-knowing ass down to Earth.

“There are not many who can get away with summoning me to Midgard,” Odin stated, mildly annoyed.

“Then perhaps it’s a good thing I am your former lover rather than an unlucky mortal,” Jord snapped.

“What do you require of me, Jord? My time is limited; my kingdom needs me.”

“Your kingdom always needs you, dear. This time is no more special than any of the others.”

She cocked her head to the side and assessed the self-important man in front of her; it seems some things would never change no matter how many millennia went by. Odin narrowed his eye at her briefly before he exhaled in an attempt to calm himself. He loved her once…didn’t he? Perhaps he should be kinder to the mother of his first born son.

“What can I do for you, Jord?” he asked again, much kinder this time.

“The Princess [Y/n] lives and breathes,” she said simply.

There were very few things in the known universe that could surprise the all-knowing All-Father. His gift (curse) of knowledge allowed him to see the infinite possibilities of all things and to possess a greater understanding than most could even begin to fathom. It was such a heavy burden to carry that the weight of the Asgardian crown seemed but a feather.

Jord watched as Odin’s unnerving one-eyed gaze went glassy as he stared into his infinite sea of knowledge. No matter how many times she watched him do it, it never failed to send a shiver up her spine. Even gods get the heebie jeebies.

“This is impossible,” he whispered in shock, “she shouldn’t live. We watched her fade into stardust with our own eyes. Even Hela herself couldn’t restore her soul. She was nothing. She didn’t exist. Not even after we wiped everyone’s memories. How does she live?”

“I know not dear; that is hardly the most important thing I’ve summoned you for.” Odin’s gazed fixed on Jord’s face in annoyance again. Jord was always one with a flair for the dramatic.

“Of course not. What more could you tell me that I don’t already know?” he sniped.

“Our son knows her once again.”

“What?!” he boomed. His voice echoed so loudly the windows of Jord’s palace rattled.

“Perhaps you are not as ‘all-knowing’ as you have been led to believe, darling.”

“I must consult with the Völva. [Norse Seers and Witches] This should not have escaped my gaze,” he seethed.

“You do just that, dear.” Jord turned from him and waved dismissively. She’d had enough of Odin’s presence for one day.

“You have my eternal gratitude for bringing this to my attention, Jord. Anything you wish for, you may be granted,” he said solemnly. Jord’s head whipped around so fast even Odin missed it. She fixed her steely gaze on her former lover and jabbed her finger angrily in his direction.

“You may shove your ‘eternal gratitude’ where even the light of Dagr refuses to touch. I have no need of it,” she hissed. Odin’s eye widened in fear briefly; she was definitely still irate with him. He bowed his head respectfully at his former lover.

“For whatever worth this might carry, I am deeply apologetic.”

“Take your leave Odin,” she said despondently, “I have no more need for you here.”

“As you wish.”

“Sif? What the hell?!” you exclaimed in surprise. It was the shock of your life to see the famed Asgardian warrior suddenly appear before you.

“You know me?” she asked, wary.

“You’re Lady Sif of the Warriors Three. Shouldn’t they call it ‘Four’ since there are technically four of you?

“Are you sure the middle of battle is the best time for questions, My Lady?”

“Right. Right. You take the left and I’ll take the right?”

“Just try to keep up, Princess.”

You looked at her with a puzzled expression at the title she bestowed without mockery or malice. Did she know you? There was no time to focus on that as the Hydra soldiers recovered from the momentary daze from Sif’s arrival via Bifrost. With fierce battle cries, you and Sif leapt into battle.

From the corners of her eyes and brief glimpses of your speeding form, Sif was thoroughly impressed with how you obliterated your enemies. With little more than throwing knives and blinding speed, you had fought with the fierceness of a Valkyrie. You might even give the Odinsdottir or Sif a run for their money…for an apparent mortal.  Every strike of your hand, foot or knife sent Hydra soldiers crumpling at your feet. You were a flurry of blades and will; your face was set in firm concentration. While there might be glory in battle, there was no joy in ending the life of another, no matter how evilly they might have used it. You weren’t here to judge them, only the gods had that honor.

It was glorious to be fighting alongside a warrior you’d looked up to your entire life. Sif was everything she was famed for and more. Hydra’s agents were no match for her sword, strength, and fury; you spent so much time admiring her fighting form that you nearly missed the dagger being lunged in your direction.

“Son of a bitch!” you hissed as the blade sliced your arm.

“Not so good, are you now?” the Hydra soldier cackled gleefully. The pure unadulterated hate in their eyes made your stomach turn. They seemed as if they teetered on the brink of pure madness. It was a mercy to dispatch them…for them and the world. Without warning, you sank your blade into their neck. The look of surprise and fear never failed to make your heart clench. An assassin with a heart. The soldier collapsed in your arms, bleeding profusely. Suddenly, a fog seemed to lift from their eyes.

“I’m…sorry,” they choked out, “…thank you…”

“I wish it didn’t have to end this way,” you whispered.

“Do you…think…they’ll send me…to Hell…?”

“I think you’ll have to pay for your actions. I pray the gods grant you mercy.”

“You…freed…u-,” with a final gasping breath the former soldier died in your arms. The lump in your throat was impossible to hold back as the tears rolled down your bloodied, dirtied cheeks. There was no glory in senseless death, not even for an assassin. Sif stood in solidarity with you as you cradled the freed soldier’s body, sobbing quietly.

“It’s not fair, Sif,” you whispered. Sif kneeled down and carefully removed the former soldier from your weary arms. The battle was over. She wiped an escaped tear from your cheek and met your gaze.

“War isn’t fair, My Lady, not for anyone. Least of all, the dead. May the gods have mercy on their souls.”

“Hydra will die. Even if I have to tear it apart with my bare hands; no one else will fall victim to their abhorrent ways. Not so long as I have breath in my body.”

“You have my sword at your back, My Lady,” Sif agreed.

“I’m not a Lady!” you snapped. Sif was startled at the vehemence that laced your tone. Guilt washed over you as you realized what you’d done.

“Forgive me, Lady Sif. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m not upset with you.”

“Think nothing of it,” Sif reassured you, “I understand the burden of battle.”

As Sif helped you to your feet, yet another blinding light came from the sky.

“What the—?” you started. A piercing scream echoed through the air as a winged figure barreled to the ground. The shockwave of their impact sent you and Sif tumbling backwards.

“Odin’s Beard!” Sif shouted.

“What the hell was that?”

“I know not. Perhaps we should investigate?”

“Alright, but the second some evil thing pops out of that crater, I’m throwing every knife I have at it. Not today, Satan. Not to-fucking-day.” Sif snorted in agreement. Cautiously, the two of you made your way to the massive crater in the middle of the battlefield. What you saw at the center of it blew you away.

“Is that a woman?”

“That is what it appears to be,” Sif replied.

“Look—she’s breathing. How could anyone survive a fall like that?”

“She is no mere woman.”

“Do you…know her?”

“She is Brunnhilde. She is the leader of the Valkyrior.”

“Are anymore of your Asgardian pals gonna fall from the sky today? Tell me now because I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” Sif laughed as the two of you clambered into the crater to help Brunnhilde.

“I’m afraid I don’t have the answer to that either, [Y/N].”

“Figures,” you mumbled under your breath. Sif laughed again. Brunnhilde was naked save for blood red tipped golden wings that shielded her body from view. Her dark brown skin seemed as if it were glowing. What the hell??

“Hello…?” you called out to her unconscious form.

“Is it really the best idea to call to her?” Sif asked.

“Do you really want to go up to the literal leader of some of the most fearsome women of Asgard and Valhalla and wake her up?”

“Fair point.”

“Exactly.”

You didn’t have to wait long; Brunnhilde stirred and sat up, looking around confusedly. Cocking her head to the side, she fixed her wary gaze on the two of you standing cautious in front of her.

“Are you here to kill me?”

End.

Forever Tags 

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Story Tags

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[laugh-away-the-fear-blog]

Remember when...

It was 2007 when I discovered Fanfiction, ten whole years ago! I still love reading it to this day and so many of the authors inspire many plot bunnies in my brain.

The below is one I wrote in 2008 that I started and never finished, in fact I only really wrote this first ‘chapter’ and an additional little bit before I abandoned it.

Reading my 10 year old fic is a blast from the past thats for sure, I love Firefly as much today as I did back then.

Love between the hate, a Mal and River Fic:

It was quiet, always quiet in the black. The mesmerizing brightness of the stars, contrasting with the pure blackness. The edge of the ‘verse wasn’t a place he would normally bring them, a crew of misfits in a rundown –yet loveable- Firefly. They needed to hide, and this was the only place he could trust not to reveal them anymore. He couldn’t carry this on. He couldn’t let his crew be part of this revenge toward the Alliance, he wouldn’t let that revenge destroy the lives of seven people…five now.

“Not your fault.” Her voice brought him out of his revere.

“What’s that little one?” he questioned turning his chair to see her standing in the doorway. The bridge had been quiet, just him and the black. As it had always been.

“It’s not your fault.” She repeated moving towards the chair next to him, her chair. She was the only one now who ventured onto the bridge apart from him. Its wash’s home…was his home.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself,” she continued “No one blames you,” she smiled sadly, “People leave and don’t come back…” He stared at her, as mesmerized as he was while watching the stars. Her graceful movements as she crossed the small room to sit in her seat. Drawing up her legs to her chest. Protecting her heart. They sat in silence for a while, but it was a comfortable silence. He thought about Wash’s death, the Reevers adding to the destruction around them. About Inara’s betrayal to the whole crew and the Alliance then chasing them, killing Mr. Universe in the process. The whole crew had changed. Well…not her.

She was the same strange little girl who was hurt by the Alliance. Still the beautiful young River he had sheltered on his ship for nearly a year. She was Dangerous, feisty but still so innocent and pure at the same time. What the Alliance had done to her was sick and wrong, he would never let them hurt her again.

He watched her stare out into space, wondering what she was thinking. She was so small…She turned to face him and they stared at each other, their eyes locked, staring into each others souls. She made him feel…whole. Like the war hadn’t happened, the Alliance wasn’t on his tail, like he hadn’t led this life of hatred and revenge.

She stood up, breaking the contact. “Not your fault.” She repeated walking towards the door. “None of it is.” And she was gone. He was alone again, but it wouldn’t stay that way for long. He wouldn’t let it.

He stood at the end of the long table, and eerie silence around him. River sat at the entrance to the room, her long hair covering her face as she stared intently at the colours on her dress. Zoe wasn’t at her usual spot behind him on his right, but at the table, legs crossed like a little girl, a blank look in her eyes so sad he had to turn away. She had taken her husbands death badly, but who wouldn’t. Sheppard looked as serene as ever, Jayne lying back in his chair, legs on the table, polishing Vera, and Kaylee. Kaylee sat directly in front of him; dirt from the engine streaked her bright face. He looked each of them over in turn. Two were now gone, a broken crew leftover. A shuffling of papers alerted him to the presence of the Doc behind him. He took his place in the middle of the table, spreading his notes across it. Charts, numbers, calculations. Ways he could fix his sister.

“But she’s not broken,” came a comment from River, “just cracked a little.” She smiled as Mal turned to look at her, along with the rest of the crew. “Feng le” Jayne muttered under his breath. Simon gave him a dirty look, but carried on looking over his notes, casting a worried look in his sisters’ direction.

Mal had always been confused about some of her outbursts, just like that one. It seemed as if she could read his mind. But he shook his head and turned back to the rest of the crew. He took a deep breath; he didn’t know how to say to his crew that he was going to go running after the very group of people that were chasing them. It was going to be dangerous, but he knew that if he didn’t have his crew backing him then he was as good as dead.

He sighed and turned to look at River before speaking. “Y'all got on this boat for different reasons, but y'all come to the same place. You all made your place on this ship, and I thank you for that. I’ve asked you to handle things that I suppose only my mind can imagine. But I knew that you would stand behind me. So now I’m asking more of you than I have before, because without you I can’t do it. Sure as I know anything, I know this - they will try again. They’ll corner us between a rock and a hard place, and take what they want. I know what they’ve done to us in the past, but that’s even more reason for us to fight back. Hit them where it hurts. So no more runnin’. I aim to misbehave.”

The room had gone silent; he could feel Rivers’ eyes burning into his back, Kaylee’s bright face suddenly serious from Mals’ speech. Zoe sat the same as before, as if nothing had happened, the same blank look in her eyes. Jayne had stopped in mid polish of Vera, his mouth hanging wide open, but a slight glint in his eyes. Simon sat there, his eyes also staring at him like he had grown a second head. Sheppard was the first to break the silence.

“Mal-”

“I’m in.” Jayne butted in over him. “Now can I go? Vera needs attention and this doom and gloom is ruining both our vibes. Mal wasn’t surprised; the only thing that had worried Jayne in the last few weeks was how much less pay he was getting. He nodded and Jayne stood up from the table and headed to his quarters.

Mal looked towards the rest of the crew, waiting again for them to speak. The silence was deafening. Suddenly Zoe uncrossed her legs and stood in front of her captain. The pain in her eyes was still evident but there was something else also…revenge. It almost scared Mal, but he knew better. The corners of his mouth turned up in a small sad smile. Not even having to nod this time, their understanding was mutual. Zoe left the room.

Kaylee’s bright face was in front of him next, and before he knew it he was pulled into a bone crushing hug from her. He grinned and put his arms lightly around her before she pulled away. "I’m always with you Captain.” She said grinning. “I’ll go get her nice and shinny for you. She’s gonna need a few new parts though, before we go into full battle mode…” at the look on Mals face se trailed off slightly. “But that’s something to talk about later.” She smiled and ran off down the corridor to check on Serenity’s engines.

Book stood from the shadows. “I’ll get in contact with my friends at Haven. I’m sure we will need help.” And with that he walked out the room.

Simon shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the table. “You’re risking a lot here Mal. We don’t have a lot of firepower, and we’re going up against the Alliance? Are you sure?”

He sighed; the doc really did annoy him sometimes. Did he not hear anything he had just said? “Listen doc,” he replied. “I’m giving you a choice, I’ve made my decision. I’m going up against them for what they’ve done to us. I’m not leading my crew into some sort of suicide mission. This is going to be planned. So I’m leaving it up to you and your sister to decide weather or not you are going to stay and help fight these people who have hurt your lives as much as mine.” He turned around to face River who was staring at him with a curious look on her face and smiled. The corners of her mouth curled up and she grinned back. “I’m going to have to think about it Mal.” Simon said ruining the moment.

Mal turned back to him. “You’re going to have to think fast Doc, coz we’re leaving as soon as Sheppard gets into contact with his friends of those in Haven.” He headed for the doorway leaving the siblings together, needing to check on the mule and iron out his battle plan.

[kuyamari]

W I P

To whom who may concern Chapter 1 An Introduction Raven suddenly came to me and asked "Don't you love her? Why aren't you doing anything?" "She is who she is and I am who I am, there is no changing that. Besides, it was already too late to get to know her. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could but it's already time for us to go separate paths. I mean, I got all the opportunity before but I blew it. I screw up big time. Um I guess I didn't listen to those guys but it's my fault for believing them and doubting myself." I said "Why don't just try?" He replied "Well...I don't think I'm the one she is looking for, heck, I don't even have the balls to say hi! I mean...yah know...I'm just scared" To be exact I am afraid I might just hurt her knowing I'm not really a nice guy. Mike stares at me with dismay and he said " Dude...you're hopeless." " Nah I don't know..." But deep inside, well fuck off Raven I am shy extremely shy. And so I let another day die out without even trying. Having a routine like this is kinda tiresome but I'm used it. I spent the whole time hiding but hey it's not like I'm a fugitive or something, its just there is a girl I really like but I can't do anything but remain silent and avoid her, sometimes I felt I'm kinda rude to her. Well I kinda confessed already that I like her but I am really ashamed I did it on a text message rather personally. What can I do? It's hard to be confident if you know you don't have one or rather you know it's a losing battle even before it started. And all of the sudden a voice said "Well let us trace the cause of your so called shyness" "The hell are you" I asked "I am your subconscious" he answered. Well I didn't know my subconscious is an asshole "I heard that" "Heard what?" I asked because seriously what the fuck. "Hey, let's keep it PG down here" He said I'm not quite sure what's going on and on what narrative this shit called but I don't like it. I'm pretty sure I'm telling the story from my point of view. "Well I am your point of view, subconsciously." ladies and gentlemen my subconscious is a smart ass. "Unfortunately this would be more funny if this is written as a comic book." he said. Well that is not the problem if the freaking author is not a lazy ass and start drawing. "He can't" he said. And I replied "Why not?" "Because you are the and author." he said as he laugh his ass off. Seriously he is annoying just like me but worse. Can things can get anymore worse? "It sure can" he said and in my mind would just say "Well fuck my life." Chapter 2 Hi I'm... Hi! my name is Edward. There isn't that much to say about me but all you need to know that I am a coward. Well not that I always runaway from a fight it's more of a I always runaway and get discourage in expressing what I feel to the person I really like maybe because I am scared to say the wrong thing or maybe if she get to know me she might not like me for who I am because believe me I am wierd and quite rude and an asshole myself. Helena isn't the first woman I liked but let's just say it ended seemingly the same way. I didn't do anything to be with them all I did is runaway and sulk on the corner. Maybe part of it is discouragement from my friends. But now let's talk about Marie, the first woman I liked. It was back in my highschool days, we were classmates and on the third quarter of the school year I was happy because the class adviser assigned me to sit right next to her. To be honest, sitting right next to her is pure happiness I get to know her more and talk to her. The best thing that happened to me is also the worst, It was a day after Valentines I gave her a gift since didn't have one for her on the day itself. I gave her a cupcake, She was reluctant at first in accepting the gift and said that i could give her the cupcake before going home since we were sit right next to each other. It was already dismissal, She didn't left the room and it seems She is waiting for someone. As I left the room someone from another section went in and walked straight to Marie, his name was Noel and as I peak through the window, I saw them sharing the cupcake I gave to Marie. The two of them looked so sweet to each other the sight of it had me broken, I know it was my fault because Noel is Marie's friend and suitor. Me? Maybe calling me "honeybunch" almost everyday is a way to tease me maybe she figured out that I have a crush on her. But on that day little did I know that sight cost me so much. Chapter 3 Helena Well Helena for unknown reasons is quite popular among men, there are many who has a crush on her maybe only science can answer it but I'm no scientist so I cannot answer that but one things for sure, her smile is the brightest among them all. Don't get me wrong, I don't know her that well but she always stand out whenever she is there. She is the a avarage height of the woman in our country. I've seen a lot of woman before compared to them she is not that beautiful don't get me wrong she is pretty, yes, but the simplicity of her face is what makes her standout very well among them combined with her very charming smile, she is ready to kill, figuratively. "Hey, I told you tell her already how you feel!" said Raul " And in what womderful reason do I have to do that?" replied Edward " Well, you like her don't you?" " Well yeah I do..." " Then do it! I know tell her during Valentines day give her something" Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Footage not Found We were already drunk that night, the five of us, well technically four because Anthony is tending to his girlfriend who is unknown reason crying because of a moisturizer. So what we did is we went to their room and bring his shot there. We were even laughing our ass of seeing his situation. "We ran out of Gin." said Mike "Let's go buy another." replied George "And let's document everything we do on the why 'coz we might not remember it" said Mike Mike went to theor room and ee to join us and asked Rupert who is fortunately awake that time to document the dumbassery we might do. As we walk the quiet road of the province we started making noise like we own the place making rude remarks about certain things. We were like hooligans that time, so wild and free roaming the streets. I was holding a stick and wielding it like a goon people who might saw us might think we were part of a gang of some sort. We don't mind because no one will recognize us there since we are just tourists. We saw the place's plaza amd we started taking awkward pictures of us in the dark. We were supposed to go there in the morning but we were already there early. At the landmark of the plaza where we took our photo we sr started shouting things about the persons we like and love. "I love you Meg!" shouted Anthony "Ilove you Helena!" shouted Mike I wasn't surprised when i heard it because everytime I see them they were together it's seems that Helena is very dependent to Mike. Jake followed by shouting "I like you---" he cutted it with a clap Jokes on him I know who is he reffering to. George followed by doing the same thing Jake did. " I love you!" I shouted " To whom who may concerned " "That's it?" asked Mike and George "Yep, that's it" I replied " I don't have anything to say anyway" But deep inside, their are so many things I wish I could say to Helena knowing I am already drunk that time their is no thinking what I could say and knowing Mike also has feelings for her and always ayot her side I am confident that Helena will be just fine with him. We continued the night walking the streets and finally made it to an open store and bought another bottle of Gin to spend the rest of the night waiting for the sun to rise. Things started quite unfortunate for me because I started to vomit due to the volume of alcohol we drank. And to think everything that happend that time was taken was documented who knows what might happened when the others watched the video. Chapter As Edward walk the road alone in the dark he kept on thinking, what went wrong? Is it just because of hime being scared all the time or was it the girl? He kept on thinking. Maybe, instead of getting the right encouragement, he got the right discouragement. Instead of saying good things about her, some of his friends decided to say bad things about her just to use your use to be love for her into hate to assist them in their vendetta against her and her friends. Is it really too late? Can he go back? Is waliking in the sidelines all I can do The Last Flag And how should we end this short story of a boy yet to be a man who is so scared to say how he actually feels to the person he like or should I say love? There are many ways to end it, we could say the boy move on and found another girl in which we vowed not to repeat the same mistake he omitted. If so? How in the world will I the author of the story write it? They could have met somewhere. At a convention perhaps knowing the boy is a some sort of a wierd geek. They both could have possess the same hobby or perhaps interests. For sure they could get along really well but is she really what the boy wanted? Is it the same feeling of falling for someone accidentally? Falling for someone for reasons that even scientists cannot even explain, even I is not sure how things like that could have happen. As the author of this story let's give it a try on how the story could have ended, we'll atleast for once they could have ended together here in this story because knowing the boy we is prone to giving up and doubting himself. Well let's say the boy suddenly became brave enough to talk to the girl in the earliest chance possible. he started talking to her, getting to know her more so he could fall for her more. Ask her out on dates perhaps? Helping her out in anyway possible, making good use of himself knowing he himself is quite useless at times. Even in my wildest imagination maybe only a miracle or perhaps the holy spirit migjt be the only thing that could help the boy, Why you may ask? Well let's just say I know the boy very well.

[aquarianlights]

A tribute to a hero. You will be missed. 10.6.2017

PLEASE READ: This is a tribute to one of the best therapy dogs that ever lived who passed away today...

One of my all-time favourite dogs was put to sleep today. I was just informed he passed over the rainbow bridge. He was in liver failure, refused to eat anything, wouldn't climb the stairs to go sleep with his mom anymore, and wouldn't go out to play. He was still mobile and active, but........He's not...he's not here anymore....and although I am having a great day. . .I am extremely saddened by this loss. This dog was as much a part of my life as he was of his mothers. Albeit I only got to see him when I visited Virginia, he has been in my life since I was a kid. This dog was the most amazing dog and he contributed so much to this world. He was a therapy dog for patients in hospitals and he really had a wonderful gift. He knew exactly what to do. . .no one would have to tell him. Usually, the owner goes in the room with their therapy dog and tells them what to do or just monitors them while they lay with the patient or let the patient pet them along with a hospital staff member or the training instructor for the dog program there to watch. But not with Sketch. . .Sketch knew what to do without instruction. As soon as he reached a patients room, he could sense what was hurting on them. We don't know how, but he did. 

For instance, one example...a patient was in partial paralysis and could not move his left arm at all. It was dead weight. Sketch jumped up on the bed with permission, walked on the man's stomach and laid down, and began furiously licking at the man's left hand and went up his wrist and then to his forearm and back down. After a good 5-10 minutes of constant licking, no stops, the man slowly raised his left arm just a tiny bit....just enough to start slowly petting Sketch on the head...and scratching his ear a little bit...the surrounding family burst into tears as the man's paralysis was broken by Sketch. He had been partially paralyzed and fully paralyzed in his left arm for weeks. No amount of physical therapy or medication or splints/braces or time had helped. Nothing. But Sketch, knowing exactly what was wrong and what needed to be fixed, worked his magic. And that family has been sending him and his mom letters and treats ever since. 

Another example was a black man was in the hospital with such severe third-degree burns all over his body that he had received from a group of racist fucking white pieces of shit literally tying him up and taking turns spraying him with a make-shift flamethrower (aerosol can + lighter, I'm assuming). The burns had been somewhat treated by the time Sketch visited. And he was getting to a point where he could actually move a little bit. . .but he was in constant pain and would absolutely need reconstructive surgery after they finished with skin grafts. And if you don't know how painful it is to have third degree burns and to have to have the burnt flesh/anything else underneath that got burnt peeled off layer by layer with a tweezer-like metal object little by little each day, multiple times a day. . .I can't even begin to describe what it feels like. I can't even imagine it myself as I have only witnessed it and not gone through it myself. 

To give you an idea...The worst burn I've ever had was a 2nd degree and it was a small burn and that had to be peeled off, but I did not need a skin graft or reconstructive surgery because it was on my arm and it was small enough to heal on its own. I do have a small scar from it, but it's barely noticeable. But they DID have to peel that little bit of burnt flesh off of me like they would any burn victim and they had to do it in two sessions despite it being the size of a quarter, at the largest, with the same tweezer-like metal objects they used for third degree burns. Even with pain killers and numbing cream. . .that was one of the single most agonizing things I have ever been through. The pain killer they had me on was fucking fentanyl, too. A high dose of it. Which. . .is risky, yes, but burn patients definitely need it. Not the highest, but a high dose. I have only been given IV hospital-grade fent twice in my life. . .and the second time was for a severe optical migraine and it was a lower dose than this and it really fucked me up and took all the pain away. But this was a much higher dose and it started to fuck me up and the pain started to go away. . .but then she applied the numbing cream and I suddenly got this feeling of "Oh no. This is going to hurt." and sure enough, she looked at me and said "I'm sorry, but no matter what, this is going to hurt. Ready? On the count of three...I'm going to peel the first layer off." I nodded, thinking I would just bite down on my finger and bear it coz, I mean, I had the strongest pain killer available in the entire world in me at an awfully high dosage...AND there was numbing cream around and directly on the area. It couldn't be that bad, right? The second she dug in and got hold of the first layer, I let out the most blood-curdling scream I have ever screamed (other than my first and only and last ever pap smear, ofc, due to my vaginismus being so severe) and there were literally waves of sharp, electric pain coursing through my body like fucking fire followed by a wave of the coldest ice you can imagine. Ice that can burn your flesh off. That kind of cold. And then she had ripped off the first layer. . .I was in such severe pain that there were tears gushing out of my eyes uncontrollably, I could not make any sounds except gasps for oxygen, and I was shaking violently from head to foot from the adrenaline and shock I was in. I had to wait over an hour before we could do the second and final session. And that was just for a 2nd degree. A quarter-sized second degree. And, mind you, I have been a professional pain slut. I have a VERY high pain tolerance for things like this. Any sort of external pain is something that I have severely high pain tolerance for. Internal pain is what fucks me up. But, I digress. This man was covered from head (including his face...with all his hair burned off into odd, short, stubby patches) to toe. His entire body looked like an overcooked, completely burnt, piece of meat with lots of red, gooey blood-like splotches here and there. (That is what I was told.) I was also told that they had done almost the entire first layer with him over the past...I forget if it was weeks or a month. I wanna say weeks or even just one week. But they still had a LONG way to go with simply getting all of the burnt flesh/under-things off of him...in order to be able to place skin-grafts. And then when the skin-grafts were placed, they'd be able to start on reconstructive surgery. This was a long, long, long project...and he'd have to have tons of reconstructive plastic surgery for years to come to look even semi like himself again.

This man was in pure agony from a fucking brutal as hell hate crime. In Arlington, Virginia...a very diverse area. As a white person with white privelege, you think these kind of extreme versions of racism wouldn't happen in such diverse areas. . .so I was shocked. But in my ignorance, I am beginning to realize this severe of a hate crime can probably happen anywhere and everywhere. . .regardless of the diversity level. Even in a predominantly POC area. . .even if the whites are outnumbered. . .I bet it can STILL happen there, too. How sickening is that...

But Sketch came into this mans room...and could immediately sense how much agony he was in. Not only was this man in physical agony. . .but I'm sure he was suffering from emotional/psychological agony, as well. I'm sure he now has PTSD from this incident and he will live with that memory for the rest of his life and be reminded of it every time he looks in the mirror. Sketch could sense both sides of the pain. He knew somehow that he could not really lay or touch the man with how much physical pain he was in...but he still got on the bed, making sure to be careful where he put his paws, and positioned himself right by the man between his arm and his body, being careful not to touch either part. He tilted his snout towards the man's arm...and licked the air close enough to where he was SO CLOSE to touching the man's arm that he could probably feel the air pressure from the gentle licks. Sketch slowly wagged his tell and constantly stopped the licking for a moment to give the man a look and look into his eyes and just...connect with the man. And this man began to cry...such passion and love from this dog made this man cry...and realize there was still good in this world. Despite all the pain he was in and the contamination he could receive from touching the dog (strongly against medical advice), he hugged Sketch. He full on hugged Sketch. I don't know if it hurt; I'm assuming it did. But he was not crying or making any sounds of pain. He just shook and hugged Sketch and buried his face in his fur and cried. And Sketch just stayed as still as possible and licked the air close to his head so he could feel the air pressure from his licks. He wagged his tail rapidly...and leaned into the man's hug to make him feel more love... This man requested to see Sketch every time he was brought into the hospital...and he was inspired by Sketch to recover. Sketch helped him with physical therapy...Sketch was there for him when he was getting his skin grafting sessions. Sketch was always there for his patients.

And I say man....but this man was really a boy. Just...a boy who was over 18. Therefore...legally a "man" by societal standards, but...if I remember right, this "man" was only about 19 or just barely 20. Only just beginning his life...still a child...and scarred for life. Healed and given hope by this dog.

Sketch also worked for a children's ward for a while...and stayed with kids who had cancer.

And then Sketch went to schools and aided in his mother's educational programs about therapy dogs and hospital dogs. And then would allow the students to get to know him after the presentation/program/speech. Sketch did many other things, as well. He even went into juvenile detention centers to allow kids in juvie to get what they needed from a therapy dog for a while, each pre-allowed individual getting individual time with him.

He also gave his mother, Anne, hope. She is a single woman in her 60's...living alone...and retired. She is an artist. Sketch was her biggest inspiration and her best friend. Sketch allowed her to make new friends by walks and dog parks. Sketch was family. To her and many others, including me. Sketch is the only dog with poodle in him that I will ever love, as poodles are the only breed I cannot stand.

Sketch was a literal hero. He has saved so many lives. . .and given hope to people in their darkest hours. He has even assisted in nursing people who had attempted suicide back to psychological stability. He would be their rock while they were in the ICU before they were sent to the ward. He would give them hope and love and an ability to fight through the pain of whatever they were going through. He would lick them in the places they hurt the most, lick their tears, curl up on top of them and nuzzle them, wag his tail at their presence, "smile" at them, and allow them to do whatever they wanted with him. Lots of pets happened and lots of hugging. Many suicide-attempt patients actually decided they wanted to live specifically because of Sketch...and wrote letters to Anne (his mother) stating so.

He also went to Alzheimer's home and old people's homes in general and gave them love they desperately needed.

Anne received many, many, MANY letters telling her how Sketch had very literally saved someone's life. . .or helped them to see hope when there was none.

Sketch was a hero. Sketch saved so many lives and he was the best goddamn dog I have ever met. Echo and I have a very special bond that cannot even begin to compete with any other dog. . .but I knew Sketch long before Echo. . .and Sketch has actually helped me through some personal crises of my own. I was going through suicidal thoughts and self harming while I was there once. Sketch knew someone. He was downstairs and he knew. He came upstairs and pawed at the guest room door until I opened it. He absolutely refused to leave until I opened it. He jumped on the bed with me and curled up in my lap and licked my wrists where I had cut myself prior. I didn't want to give myself any aftercare. . .I wanted them to get infected so maybe I would lose my arm and that would push me over the edge to really finally do it. . .or maybe it would be such a bad infection that it would spread to my heart or lungs and actually kill me itself. And I had a bottle of pills beside me on the bed...ready to use... Sketch very literally picked up that bottle in his mouth, brought it off the bed, threw it in the small trash can in the room (which..I needed those meds so I fished them out later lol), and jumped back on the bed and continued to lick my wrist. He made me feel "Someone cares. This dog cares about me. This dog wants me to live. This dog loves me. He genuinely loves me and would be saddened if I died. He would be affected by my death. ...he would be sad if I weren't here anymore... And he is sad now because I hurt myself..." So I got up...he followed me to the bathroom...and I washed my cuts with warm soap and water, sterilized them with some antiseptic stuff that stung, put a layer of neosporin on them, and wrapped my forearm in gauze. And I continued to do so until they healed. And every time I have wanted/tried to overdose since that moment. . .the image of Sketch has popped into my head and I think to myself "...Sketch would care if I died. Echo would care if I died. I have to stay alive for them. I have to." But now he's gone.......Sketch is gone..... He was a hero to so many and affected so many lives and saved so many people... He saved /me/. And...he finally had to be put down. At the age of... over 14 years old (hes a labradoodle so this was a pretty good age for him). I'm not sure how far exactly over, but he was over 14. He would have lived longer if it were not for the liver failure. . .I don't know how he got liver failure. . .but the vet said he wasn't in any pain. And, of course, when you put a dog to sleep, you literally put them to sleep before you actually push the fatal drug in. And the fatal drug works so quickly and so gently that they do not feel it and it makes them go peacefully.

Sketch is now crossing the Rainbow Bridge.....and this is a very dark moment. I could not be anymore heartbroken by his passing.

This dog was very, very special to me and so many other people. I know none of you know Sketch. . .but please. . .regardless. . .keep him in your mind today. Or if you pray to any kind of diety/alien/higher power/yourself. . .please pray for him. Please pray and hope that a better place really exists for the pure, wonderful, kind-hearted, gentle, loving souls like Sketch.

You were such a good best friend to so many people, Sketch. Me included. You saved me. You have always been there when I needed you. And you will be missed. . .forever.

[surveysonfleek]

422.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 14

1301. Can “what you don't know” actually hurt you? i’m sorta leaning towards no that this stage. i’m trying to think of how it can but i’m blanking. 1302. Are you pondering what I'm pondering? nope. 1303. What people or objects would you describe as “pure”? babies, fresh water, raw minerals. 1304. Are you into bookcrossing (If you aren’t sure, check out www.bookcrossing.com)? nope. 1305. Have you ever had a pen pal? i have.

1306. Have you ever had a package pal (same as a pen pal but you send each other surprise gifts instead of letters)? haha no. how do i get one!? 1307. Is there a particular word or phrase that annoys you? i really hate it when people around me say ‘tings’. we’re not from toronto or jamaica guys lol. 1308. Is there an online game you like to play? nah. 1309. What group of people is the most discriminated against in your opinion or experience? in sydney, anyone who isn’t white tbh. i see this shit a looooot. 1310. What do you like best about bras and underwear? cute designs i guess. 1311. Are you afraid of living in oblivion? no, i’m hoping it’s not possible. 1312. Before you were born you got to pick your life from one of these. Which do you pick? You are successful from the start, a musical genius, good looking, wealthy. You become a rock tar, get super famous, make your mark on the world and die at 27. You are caring and compassionate. You love animals and adopt more and more as you grow older. You foster and nurture and care for them all of your life. <---- this even though i don’t loooove all animals. You sit home playing video games for 70 years. 1313. What is broken in your: Car? tbh the engine sounds funny but it’s just been serviced so idk. School? no more school. House? my curling iron ugh. Life? my motivation. Soul? my will to learn. Brain? nothing it seems. 1314. Which one will you fix first? life. 1315. Tell me all your thoughts on god: i believe there’s a higher power out there, but tbh i haven’t been in touch with my spiritual side in years. 1316. What is the strangest note you've ever received? idk. 1317. Of the following how many can be used to get in touch with you? Phone Beeper Voice mail Email Cell phone Snail mail all but the beeper. 1318. Are you always available/easy to reach, or do you give people a chance to miss you? i’m generally easy to reach. 1319. If you got pregnant or impregnated the person you are with now (hypothetical if there is no one in your life just now) would you lean more towards keeping, adopting out, or aborting the baby? keeping it. 1320. If your partner in the pregnancy did not agree with how you felt and pressured you to change your mind or just went ahead with what he or she wanted to do against your wishes, would that affect your ability to continue your relationship with this person? of course. 1321. Who should have the final say in the decision to have a baby, the woman or the man? the woman, she’s the one carrying the baby. 1322. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you for the first time, do you forgive him or her and take him or her back? depends exactly on the situation. i definitely would not take him back if he slept with another person. 1323. What if it is your husband or wife that cheats on you? i’d be done tbh. no need for that negativity in my life. 1324. Who is more responsible for educating children, parents or schools? parents are more responsible for the early learning stages. then school obviously would play a huge role. 1325. Are you into new age things? yes. 1326. Are you very: Nervous? yes. Anxious? yes. High strung? sometimes. Organized? sometimes. Tense? sometimes. Rigid? no. Skeptical? nah. 1327. Do you perceive reality differently from others? How? not that i know of? 1328. If you asked someone, “Do you masturbate?” and he or she says, “No,” would you assume he or she was lying? it depends who i asked. 1329. What do you blame things on? i’d assess the situation in a logical manner and decide from there. 1330. Do you want to be naked and famous? no. 1331. Ice Cube or LL Cool J? ll cool j. 1332. What are your feelings about rap music? i like some of it. 1333. Cypress Hill or Roxy Music? cypress. BSB or N'sync or NKOTB? bsb. Debbie Gibson or Paula Abdul? paula abdul coz idk the other one. Eminem or Kid Rock? eminem. Weezer or the Get Up Kids? neither. 1334. If you could solve just one of the world's problems what would you choose to solve? cure for cancer. 1335. Would you make a good: Counselor? i’m very emotional so maybe not. i’ll cry whenever i see someone else cry. Visual artist? i’d love to be this. Teacher? not sure, i get irritated easily. Pilot? possibly. Secretary? yes. Cashier? yes. Waiter or waitress? yes. Veterinary assistant? no, i have allergies to some animals. Office manager? maybe. Stage manager? i guess. Actor or actress? if i could act, yeah. Sales girl or guy? yes. Pizza delivery girl or guy? no, i hate driving. Film director? possibly. Business man or woman? yes. CEO? not sure. Surgeon? no. Fire man or woman? no. Cop? nooo. 1336. Do you check condoms to see if they are expired before using them? i don’t use condoms. i’m on birth control, my boyfriend and i have both had std tests and we’re clean. 1337. Imagine you are in school and a person of the opposite sex you barely know asks you really nicely for a ride home from class (yes, you have a car). It's out of your way. Do you say yes? nope. Let's say you said yes. S/he hugs you. What is your reaction? honestly depends on what i thought of their demeanour. if they’re usually friendly i wouldn’t think anything of it. As you drop him or her off s/he hugs you again and thanks you for being such a nice person. What do you make of all this? if it’s just a hug and they got out of my car i wouldn’t think anything of it. 1338. Are you interested in post-apocalyptic (post-nuclear war) movies? no. 1339. What is the saddest movie you ever saw? idk. 1340. What is the saddest thought you can think of? losing your entire family in a car accident. ugh. 1341. Who is the most horrible driver you know? my boyfriend’s brother. is literally on his phone while driving all the time, it’s so bad. 1342. Are you a sexist in any way? i wouldn’t say so but i’m very supportive of women’s rights. 1343. How often do you check your email? daily. 1344. How often do you check your diary for notes? weekly. 1345. If you had to read a biography about someone, who would you pick? rihanna. only if she wrote it herself. 1346. Which of your friends and relatives has the most interesting life story? hmmm my parents. 1347. What's the matter with kids today? theyre growing up too fast. 1348. How do you feel about censorship? as in movies, shows and stuff? fair enough i guess. 1349. What was on the last CD you burned? omg haha i have no idea. 1350. What movie should be released on DVD but hasn’t been released yet? idk, i watch everything on netflix these days. 1351. Have you ever wished for wings that work? no. 1352. Have you ever imagined that you are not really of this world? yeah, it happens when i think too much lmao. 1353. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? nope. 1354. Do you still have imaginary friends? no. 1355. Do you enjoy reading children’s books? not anymore. 1356. Are you decadent? err, no. 1357. What would make you happy that money cannot buy? love. 1358. What would make you happy that money can buy? plentyyyy of things. 1359. Where do you hang out on your spare time? at home. 1360. Do you delight in minor euphoria? idk what that is. 1361. It's (what time is it?) ______. 12:16am. Do you know where your: Mom is? sleeping. Dad is? sleeping. First boyfriend or girlfriend is? out with friends. Boy or girlfriend is? ^ same Best friend is? sleeping. Soul mate is? out with friends. Wallet is? in my handbag. 1362. Who do you feel sorry for? myself haha. 1363. What will you never say in front of your parents? swears. or anything about my sex life. 1364. Do you change your personality and behavior depending on who you are with? no. i guess i put on a more professional manner when i’m dealing with patrons. 1365. Are you waiting for marriage to lose your virginity? nope. 1366. What year were you born? 1990. 1367. What is your sign? sagittarius. 1368. What year did you/will you graduate from high school? 2008 omg forever ago. 1369. Do you use moisturizer? yes. 1370. On what parts of your body? everywhere. 1371. Are the 70's back in style? no. 1372. Do you read any magazines? no. 1373. Do you read before going to sleep at night? sometimes. 1374. Are you a music maker? no. 1375. Are you a dreamer of the dreams? no. 1376. How do you feel about large corporations? whatever. 1377. How do you feel about people who are, “just doing their job”? fine. i’ve never lost my cool at a worker. the only times i have is when they’ve been rude to me first. 1378. Which would you watch of these choices: Pitch black The mummy Pretty woman <---- this 1380. About what percent of the time do you feel good about yourself? 40%. 1381. Do you feel comfortable with other people (in social situations)? if i know majority of the people then yeah. 1382. Do you have good friends/family relationships? yes. 1383. How do you control your tension and anxiety? just face it. 1384. Are you able to meet the demands of life and function in society? not really. 1385. Do you curb your feelings of hatred and guilt? i don’t usually come across those feelings. 1386. Do you maintain a positive outlook? yes. 1387. Does knowing you enrich the lives of others? ummm idk. 1388. What things do you cherish? family, boyfriend, friends. the life my parents have given me. 1389. To what extent do you value diversity? very much so. 1390. What fascinates you? different cultures. 1391. Do you appreciate nature? not really. 1392. If you could be someone else for a day who would you be? rihanna. 1393. Would you ever consider 'psychic surgery' if you were ill? only if i were on my death bed. How about voodoo? no. Herbal remedies? yes. 1394. How effective do you feel meditation is? idk, i never meditate. 1395. How effective do you feel prayer is? hmm idk. 1396. How do you think that you (or anyone, for that matter) could pray without ceasing? not sure? 1397. Is religion a live option for you (that is, a possibility, something you are drawn to even if you have no belief)? sure. 1398. What part of your body do you lavish the least attention and love on? stomach. 1399. How many clocks are in your house? man, heaps since they’re on random shit like the microwave, computers etc. 1400. What topics would you like to see more of on this survey? idk.

[tellywoodtrash]

Sanjivani - Weeks 2 + 3

This is now my lunchtime show (replacing random topical news comedy like Late Night with Seth Meyers, Last Week Tonight, Patriot Act, etc.) It’s a nice show to consume that way; I’m not super-involved in it, but it decently holds my interest for a solid 20 minutes as I shove something in my gaping maw.

Overall Plot

Marginal improvement in plot as the show and characters settle in. We learn more about the backgrounds of Ishani and Sid, and their relationship becomes much better. The Shashank/Anjali/Juhi/Vardhan dynamics are also nicely built up, and frankly the more interesting overarching plotline of the show.

The Medical Stuff

They seem to be going for a Grey’s Anatomy type of vibe, I think, focusing on one or two cases over the week. Nothing as interesting as in Grey’s, here it’s more routine kinda cases, but there does seem to be more focus on medicine than there ever was in DMG, which I’m kinda thankful for. While yes, I’m interested in the interpersonal dynamics, I also wanna see these people do their jobs (rather than just canoodling/having angsty fights in stairways and on-call rooms.) With other shows, I really really hate when a day goes on and on for weeks, but in this show, it’s realistic. Residents do often have to do 24 - 36 hour shifts, and each week being about one shift, it’s well-encapsulated; I like how the show flows from one day/shift/case to another.

The Acting

The seniors (Mohnish, Gurdeep, Sayantani) remain the best part, as expected, turning in consistent performances. Surbhi’s performance has toned down considerably, and that’s a big relief. The show would have been unwatchable if she hadn’t. Namit is still weak in some regards (like crying; god that one scene in Week 2 was really bad) but is getting better. He’s best in scenes where he has to be soft and considerate (comforting Anjali/Ishani/Sanya/Neeti etc.) or taking charge of things, coz he plays both these aspects confidently. I also like the chemistry when paired with Surbhi, because he plays off her really well. Only upwards from here, I should hope. The others are.... eh. They’re background characters, so they do what is expected of them.

The Characters

Sid: Sid’s the character that’s grown on me the most compared to the first week. They’ve thankfully toned down his fuckboy-ness waaaaaay down (not sure why they decided to introduce him that way, when it doesn’t even seem to be true of his character aside from in the pilot.) We find out a little more about his social background/family, and it explains why/how he is the way he is. I appreciate his camaraderie with Ishani; he’s obviously fond of her, and attracted to her as well (but in a casual way), but knows she has a lot to learn about how this place works and tries to be a good supporting team member to her, but not to the point where he lets her run amok. He tries to justify his ways to her, but is also willing to let her try her own things in the off case it does pay off; but always has a Plan B in his back pocket, because he knows things don’t work out as expected around here. I like his quiet confidence and integrity, but that he’s also willing to not mince words and/or throw hands if and when absolutely required. Not very realistic of a doctor, but eh, this is Tellywood. Chalta hai.

Ishani: Thankfully, Ishani has mellowed down quite a bit and isn’t as intolerable as she was in the first week. She’s quickly learning that things at Sanjivani are not as they appear and that her initial judgement of Sid was way too hasty/harsh, and has formed a delicate alliance with him. Not to say that she isn’t a stickler for rules anymore, or approves of his on-the-fly, jugaadu/sometimes outright wily ways to skirt around the rules, but she’s trying her best to maintain a balance; in how she tries to help the people who need it, in the most forthright manner. But she’s definitely more comfortable being flexible with “the rules” than she realizes. Her germophobia prevents her from getting comfortable with Sid’s physical proximity whenever he tries to comfort her/express thanks, but I think she appreciates the sentiment.

Shashank: God, I’m so grateful he’s still here. He’s kind of out of sorts due to the surgery, but he’s still very aware and involved in what’s going on in Sanjivani. His gentle battle with Anjali persists, with the latest episode making him give some leeway to her, quite unwillingly though.

Juhi: Beyond Shashank’s surgery, she didn’t really make much of an impression on me in these 2 weeks. She takes the COS job in a spur-of-the-moment decision, purely in an emergency situation, than really actually wanting it. She does a good enough job, stern and smart with the rioting mob/Vardhan, and compassionate and understanding with Ishani, but I do anticipate lots of trouble coming her way in the position. Especially with Rahul lurking mysteriously in the shadows, in cahoots with Vardhan.

Anjali: NOT ENOUGH ANJALI AS I WANT!!!!!! All we do see Anjali doing is either be hysterical during surgery, or sulking over not getting the COS post. For godssake, she’s an HOD, a competent doctor in her own right, can we see her at work too? I want to see her be the kickass boss bitch I know she is; maybe taking a few of these many million juniors under her wing and mentoring them? (She seems to have a good relationship with Sid, it would be nice to see that extend to some others too?) There was one good scene between Shashank and her where they peacefully discuss their issues at the end of this week, but I really need Anjali to DO more than just be standing around feeling bad for herself/manipulated by Vardhan/sniping at Juhi/being passive-aggressive at Shashank. I like that she was upfront enough with Juhi about not liking her, but I don’t like how they’re centering her whole character around just that. You’ve already done this character dirty in one iteration (DMG), please do not waste this chance to showcase the complex personality she is!

Vardhan: A kinda compelling asshole. He has a son that he keeps talking to on the phone, whom seems to dote on and wants to make the best impression on. But harkatein kaafi kameeni. But I also feel marginally sympathetic to him, because he’s trying his best to keep Sanjivani afloat financially. Drs. Shashank and Juhi’s bleeding-heart ways are admirable and all, but the ground realities of running an organization are quite different; and Vardhan is answerable to multiple people above him about it. So yeah I do hate him when he’s doing pettyass evil shit like booting a poor person off a donor list, but in some cases - esp. PR/admin/financial issues, I can see where he’s coming from. I just wish they’d stop making him so caricatureish in his villainy at times and kept him a slick evil, like most corporate types are.

Rishabh: Asshole Jr., but not at all compelling or complex like Vardhan. Just an outright classist asshole, looking to suck up to Vardhan and other richie-rich fuckers and get Sid in trouble. He’s the most annoying part of the show, honestly, constantly lurking around with his phone and filming Sid. Jeez, get a damn life, loser.

Rahil: So sweet and unproblematic, why don’t we see him more (instead of the irritating Rishabh)????? GIVE US MORE RAHIL!!!!!!!

Asha & Aman: They might as well have made them twins, coz they’re so alike (even have matchy-matchy names!) I despise when they unthinkingly run their mouths and blurt out whatever the hell they’re thinking, even to waaaay senior doctors like Juhi and Shashank. Their no-filter admonishments are quite welcome in the case of Ishani though, where they drill some sense into her head. Ultimately, they do have their hearts in the right place and are sincere doctors (if not the most knowledgeable), and I enjoy them in limited amounts; like in the scene where they’re watching Sid and Ishani brawling over the liver.

Asha: Tu idhar mitti ka dher bana khada hai, inki fight rok na??? Aman [watching Sid and Ishani literally bucking at each other while holding an icebox with a liver inside it]: Abbe pagal ho gayi hai ke, baukhlaaye hue saand se ho rakhe hain. Dulatti nahi khaani maine inki!

Neil: Like Rahil, he seems to be sweet and unproblematic, but I get the feeling that he suffers from some kinda health issue? He fainted at the first case out in the field (the bomb blast), Aman mentions he fainted again seeing a corpse that could donate a liver, and he seemed very out of breath when he came to inform Sid/Ishani about another liver donor. I find it hard to believe that a first year resident could be this squeamish about things you get used to by the end of med school, so I really think there’s something else going on here. Is he going to be the Dr. Omi equivalent (the tragically ill character) of this season? I would like to see more of him (than the other jr. residents), because the actor is very measured and likable.

Rahul: We haven’t SEEN him yet, but we have heard him and what we’ve heard......... Does not bode well. I haven’t seen Sanjivani 1, so I don’t know the character as such, but wasn’t he the lead? They’re bringing him back but as an antagonist? Seems quite out-of-character, but I am veryyyyyyyy intrigued about this development, and especially how Juhi fits into all of this.

Overall Rating: 3.5/5