#even tho I literally drew him but like thaya not so bad because I can control what the images are
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ILL NEVER BE THE MEN EVERYBODY TALKS ABOUT
#anyone else feel like a gross monster imposter?#does anyone feel this ache and guilt and shame deep within their chests whenever you are reminded of certain characters?#i literally don’t know why?#i have this weird issue with Thomas barrow to the point where just being reminded of him in any form can be so upsetting (my own problem)#and just sends me on this guilt/shame spiral and I don’t really understand why?#i hate seeing him I don’t like him anymore purely coz if parts of the fandom and it’s just ridiculous of me#even tho I literally drew him but like thaya not so bad because I can control what the images are#i need to work through this and sort this out and I will attempt to#but I just don’t know why me brain is like this about my fictional obsesssions#the suicide storyline makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it I hate it I hate it so much#i just say it didn’t happen and whole of season 6 didn’t happen#idk why it’s like I feel it’s stealing something from me and I no longer have my own experience or it’s not valid anymore at least#somehow? ik this makes no sense lol#btw I’m fine I’m just going all wierd all over this again
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