#i hate saying that lmao but im proud of this and i want people to see it

[andreilslovechild]

A Study on Aaron Minyard and Hatred

I've been in this fandom for years now. somewhere around 5 years or so. and since I've been here there's always been a distinct theme in how people talk about the brother of our beloved main love interest. see people speak about aaron in two ways mainly. the first way is, of course, labeling him as hateful and homophobic and disliking him because he dislikes Neil. the second way is building on his more personable characteristics and having him paired with someone else like Katelyn or Kevin to mellow him out. both of those are all well and good, everyone is entitled to their opinions and all, but I've never quite seen people look at both of those sides at the same time so I want to try and consolidate my thoughts on the matter.

first of all, I personally rarely consider aaron inherently hateful in my own understanding of him. annoyed or disgusted sure, but not necessarily hateful. mainly that hate is focused on three people from what the fandom talks about: Neil, Andrew, and Nicky. I'm using hate a broad term for dislike just for the ease of things right now so don't yell at me, but I think it fair to say the fandom typically pits these three up against aaron in a way that makes aaron look like the bad guy a lot of the time.

if I'm honest, I never really felt he hated Neil more than just didn't care much. at least until he found out about him and Andrew and gave him his version of the shovel talk. maybe a bit when Neil used Katelyn against him. but overall I never quite got it when people said he hated Neil, let alone hated him for "no reason". like id be annoyed too if a guy waltzed onto my college sports team while im studying premed, and turned out to be the long-lost son of a serial killer with a mouth so big it was a wonder hes still alive. plus he was super shady before all that was revealed too, but aaron was still pretty neutral when Andrew brought Neil into the monsters. he even spoke back to the upperclassmen when they freaked out about Neil sitting with the monsters. if you all need me to get the quotes I will, but it's currently like 2am, and I just can't be asked right now lmao. either way, the only time aaron really hates Neil in the books is when he uses Kate against him to get him to go to therapy. which was done for his own good in the long run, and I doubt aaron stayed upset about it for too long. plus we always have to be careful here because we are seeing things from Neil's perspective, someone who is inherently an unreliable narrator in the story.

in Nicky's case, there's a lot to consider. aaron definitely does and says some things (again not finding specifics rn because it's 2am) that are hurtful to him, or offensive. I certainly don't really blame people for reading it as homophobic on a surface level. but that's exactly what it is. surface level. his feelings about Nicky are probably the second most complex in this instance. because Nicky is his cousin, caregiver, friend, whatever you want to call him. They're close, they mean something to each other. but aaron also grew up with Tilda, probably talking with his family over the phone every few months, seeing them maybe once a year or two. when aaron moved to South Carolina he was 13. Nicky would have been 17. aaron probably spent a lot of time with him at first to avoid being alone before he made friends himself. used him as an excuse to get out of being around Tilda alone. which undoubtedly left him susceptible to Luther's preaching. I could make a whole other post on this alone. Still, he would have known Nicky was gay and that it was "wrong". He likely saw only his mask, not the depression inside because Nicky would have wanted to be happy with his cousin. he probably was around when Nicky went to Germany and then came back loud and proud, telling him about a man named Erik and finally standing up to his parents. to us, it's inspirational, exciting even, but for aaron it was like Nicky was abandoning him. He had gotten through Nicky being gone with drugs and staying out of the house as much as possible, but now knowing Nicky was leaving him there alone with his mom for what he assumed would be forever would have hit him hard. he never hated Nicky for being gay. he was angry he had left him, and he had grown up surrounded by the ideals Luther preached and likely his mom did too. with that, plus how uncomfortable it would be to have your cousin being openly sexual around you to an extreme extent like Nicky, I don't blame him really for how he reacted. he was disgusted by the thought of his cousin having sex, not who it was with. I can't remember if his disliking Erik is a canon or fanon thing. Still, he disliked him for taking Nicky away, not because he was a guy. Long story short I don't think aaron ever truly hated Nicky or was truly homophobic. I think he was just a scared kid who learned the wrong words and didn't know how to be vulnerable.

Andrew. good old Andrew. the most complicated relationship in Aaron's life save maybe his mom. I think we all know aaron doesn't hate Andrew. just like Andrew doesn't hate aaron. it's impossible for them to hate each other because they are so irrevocably tangled up and tied to each other's lives. from the second they found out about each other, everything they've done has been for the other in some way. mostly on Andrew's end sure but aaron has also done his share. see out of everyone here I think Andrew is the person that aaron thought he hated the most. he was angry about Tilda, about the drugs, about how Andrew refused to look at him. but deep down he knew he couldn't really hate Andrew. if he truly hated him he wouldn't have stuck around him this long to try and form a relationship with him. he wouldn't have bothered renewing their deal after graduating high school. he may have been stubborn and confusing and made aaron want to pull his hair out in frustration, but I don't think hatred for Andrew truly existed in him. For certain actions maybe, but him overall? definitely not.

Aaron Minyard may have been complicated, cranky, and annoyed for the majority of the times we see him, but he never truly hated anyone. not in the way people seem to think at least. and certainly, never the three people hes accused of hating the most.

[kirks-slutty-torn-shirt]

gulp.

thinking of naming this one "flow"

[todayisafridaynight]

Loving all the Mine chat today! In a world where neither of them have Daigo to fixate on (for whatever reason) what do you think interactions between Mine and Masato/Aoki would be like? All your comics have them obv pitted against one another (always gives me a giggle gotta say!!) but I'm curious bout your thoughts on them/their potential interactions if Daigo wasn't part of the equation. I think they could be so evil together in whatever capacity. Real "I could make him worse" territory.

Sorry if this is a bit silly (I know removing Daigo removes a lot of other things too) I just love listening to you talk about guys ™️ lmao

i am a renowned Guy(TM) Talker this is a fair thing to assert

BUT honestly they'd probably like. not be friends or Sincerely get along but they'd probably use each other one way or another if given the opportunity: aoki wanting to exploit mine's skills, knowledge, and wealth, all the while mine At Least keeping an eye on aoki's influence (and if he wanted to do his homework probably keep tabs on the arakawas) and considering if it'll have potential use down the line. it's not like it's hard to imagine them having similar ideologies or morals either

mine'd absolutely loathe aoki's pride in his philosophy tho- even if it does align with his own somewhat LMAO

[sardonicsergeant]

Idk its sorta funny that it took me 25 years to really ask for help and I just... completely lost my oldest and closest confidants and then I'm just stuck on the other side like... wow I was really getting physically abused again and they just... abandoned me over love bombing. Usually I try to forgive but... man even if it stopped feeling so raw, and I was able to completely blame myself[both for the initial abuse, and the fallout ensuing from talking about it but fearing being too negative or focusing on myself too much, resulting in ""love bombing""] I just can't see myself actually... engaging with them. Which is fine enough, I closed myself off to everyone including them long before that anyways. I'm certainly a self fulfilling prophecy, I do wish there were less casualties in the meantime.

[iridescentis]

losing my mind a little

[miwiheroes]

my favourite fics

making this while drunk after reading a reallyyyy good byler fic in bed at midnight just chilling like a blade of grass i love it

u can probably tell my taste in fics after seeing this lol

he likes it scalding by CastleByersAfterDark - domestic, slice of life fic where will has a bath after a cold miserable day and its written so well like i feel the love theres so much loveee

Say It With Your Hands by Pseudologia - the only time you'll ever catch me reading a different first meeting fic. just so cute, byler meet at a movie theater (working) and mike's obsessed with him

a bed in your shape by passerine_in_jade - omg the angst was angsting but it was so realistic as well i loved it, the payoff ended up being so good.

A Blue Christmas by kwritessometimes - the most carefully and beautifully written fic about mikes coming out to his family. it perfectly shows the connection between him and will's family too, and ughhhhhhh i cried

but if i'm all dressed up (worth it for once) by castlebyer (loverslakes) - regency era england fic. i rarely ever read byler fics in an alternate timeline but omg this was so good and just as i imagined it.

nothing else i could do by astrobi - mike and will live together and they get a dog and then they kiss or smth idk i havent read it in a while but its astrobi so its good

if you kissed me now by astrobi - cute lil secret relationship fic and byler are just so soft and are actually realistic teens in this ugh

i hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this) by burgandyshirts - oh this is the funniest ever, there is a miscommunication where mike thinks he's dating will but will has no idea <3

said that i was fine, said it from my coffin by ruetistic - really sad about byler being gay in the 80s where mike gets hurt by people but its hurt/comfort so dw

feeling like the opposite by delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy) - such a good and memorable love confession on mike's part, also college byler teehee

i have everything i wanted by delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy) - series of one shots of byler that all follow an amazing format basically catered to my fave tags on ao3 HAHA

(give me a second to) forget i ever really meant it by delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy) - one of the better practice kissing fics i've read

autumn air, jacket 'round my shoulders is yours by gaysforbyler - will's feeling the anniversary effect and it just shows how much care mike has for will and how much understanding they have for each other

all this time (how could you not know?) by astrobi - for me, this is a long fic. yeah that tells you everything abt me lmao but this is so amazing it has a great pay off (byler at prom!!!!)

i might be hoping about this by astrobi - this right here will always be my favourite fic. it is perfection. it was one of the first byler fics i ever read and the pure domestic bliss paired with it being a SICKFIC HELL YEAH makes it just soooo perfect

and i might as welllllll um

what you really want by ME - yes this is big headed of me but im so proud of this fic i worked so hard on it and sacrificed some of my grades for it but it was worth it

okay im so eepy im going to eep and then have a hangover and i have a raging headache now ive done this on a whim bye

[theriverdraws]

100k VIEWS!!! WOOO!!

Not my first or second video to reach this number, but definitely the one im most proud of.

Gonna ramble about my thoughts while making this, because I think about it a lot:

- It has been a couple of years since I started it (see desc.), but from what I remember I had this idea because this song popped up on my feed, and I really liked it (had not listened to the eng version before), looped it for a while, and then I was like "...wait this sounds like the warners doesn't it" and it all escalated from there.

- I needed them to kidnap someone, and I think I chose mickey because I had recently made an animaniacs & mickey mouse video and I really liked it, so I just chose to torment him again lmao.

Im actually realizing now that having him be the one kidnapped makes even more sense. In the song, it's halloween gremlins kidnapping santa claus - so the equivalent of WB gremlins kidnapped Mickey Mouse the disney mascot, is pretty perfect. Would like to say this was the plan since the beginning but that would be a lie smdjks.

- I really like the Animaniacs, "Who Killed Roger Rabbit?", and "Looney tunes back in action" takes on a "cartoons living with humans" universe, so in this video it's kinda of a mixture of all three of these - hence toon town (in my head it's mainly disney cartoons that live there, however the really big stars probably got their own houses in human cities I'd imagine). Mickey himself then follows the logic of his personality just being how he was drawn. He's just an average guy. Probably got nicer over the years since bro's personality ended up turning into a slice of bread by Disney, because he had to be the face of the company. My favorite version of Mickey is the one on the Mickey Mouse shorts though, so you can imagine this specific version of him on this video (I know it doesnt look like it in the beginning, I did not know how to draw mickey a couple years ago dnjdjs). In this video Mickey isn't really as evil as the company, he's just the mascot stuck with them. I would say bro is just a doormat. He wouldn't agree with all of their actions, but I dont even think he would acknowledge most of them, make a lot of excuses for them probably. Overrall he's like, fine.

- I needed a CEO to be Oogie Boogie because well.. Who would be better for it?? When I started this 2 years ago, I was deciding between Plotz and Rita (reboot CEO), I was gonna choose her because the Warners were scared of her to some extent, and I can't really imagine them being scared of Plotz. But this year, having picked this video back up, I am filled with great amouns of rage. Therefore, Zazza the clown was born (fuck you David).

- The lore is Zazza the clown sat down on a big chair one day, and people in suits made him CEO. He is an annoying, evil, money grubbing bastard. But also very stupid, so he's not that scary except when he's doing his bad ideas.

- The Warners aren't scared of him though, they are mainly doing this for fun because annoying Disney and the rat would be funny. However, going a bit deeper, they do crave praise and affection from those who hate him (aka the CEO, the entire company, any person with a brain that's around them at all times), so they are also doing this for those reasons. In the original show, there's even an episode where Plotz is not the CEO anymore, and they managed to get him back because they missed him yelling at them (probably not a direct quote, but it was something like that). The children are not well snjene. But yeah they're not taking sides nor scared, they're just doing whatever they want and maybe getting a fist bump out of it. (They are not going to get anything).

- Had to hit them with the PTSD about getting locked in a tower though jsjske, it had to match the lyrics.

- nsjsk actually the lyrics probably make the Warners sound more evil than what I picture them (though I do see them as really big menaces). To be fair, in Nightmare Before Christmas, Lock Shock and Barrel sing this whole song about torturing Santa Claus, only to just put a bag on him and give it to Jack directly. That's probably all that the Warners are gonna do in the end, maybe play with him for a bit but eh. (WB will not pay for psychological damages).

- I didn't plan a motive as to why the clown wants Mickey. Uhhhhh blackmail? Idk, feel free to come up with a reason.

- I always drew the Warners with fangs, you can see my other videos and old fanart on Tumblr. When the reboot was still airing, I drew like it looking like canine teeth, but originally I really liked drawing the cartoonish fangs like you see here, and recently I decided to start doing that again.

I think that's it! Probably a lot of grammatical mistakes (it's 5:40 AM), but I'm not editing this sjkeje. All I have left to say is I GOT TWO COMMENTS ABOUT THIS BEING A 18+ VIDEO, GUYS WATCH THE VIDEO BEFORE COMMENTTING WDYMMMM. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THUMBNAIL, YOUR BRAIN IS JUST ROTTING.

[wolfwashing]

я так давно бегу, что не знаю от чего

HELLO EVERYONE! my name's Irinei Lukyan Vulkov! But please call me Irinei or Lucky. I love nicknames!

I'm Anya's intern on the Tulapr... I love talking tp people but I am a little shy and learned English only about 7 years ago, so please forgive me :(! I think that's all. I hope I make friends!

— OORP / OOC 🐾🦴

HI IM MOD / ADMIN ^_^ ill drop some facts about the guy, tagging system and notes !

🐾 : facts

He uses he/they!! The nickname Lucky is a joke about them being unlucky... THEY'RE A PROUD SLAV!!! macedonian & russian [siberian], born & raised in Strumica (Macedonia) til age 12, when he moved to Russia. Specifically Yakutsk. Has a heavy Slavic accent which he hates.

He's 19!! He wanted to be a vet, but his father called it useless so he decided to be med. Would cry if you ask him about vet or animal healthcare stuff (I may be giving you ideas)

Very shy but once they warm they're stuck to you for LIFE.

🐾 : notes

I'm 16! Preferbly no nsfw, jokes are ok! English is my fourth language & where I live it is not spoken at all outside of class, please be understanding if i make mistakes... </3 i used a picrew, I'll drop the link

I have horrid memory issues, I'm not ignoring you. Adding on, I am a busy person. I'm a highschool student for interior design, I take debate, and home issues, i may take more to reply I'm very sorry!! My timezone is CET.

The last time I had a rp account was in 2022 on quotev. So sorry if this is incoherent LMAO 😭 I am an active roleplayer tho, dm me for rp examples?

🐾 : tags

#🐾 irinei says: — irinei's posts

#🐾 digital pawprint [oorp] — my/admin posts

#🐾 playtime! — rp posts/starters and etc

#🐾 dawg? — asks, answered

#🐾 that dog in me — irinei facts or lore yay!

[very-gay-poet]

Warning: I am incapable of taking myself seriously, use “???” and “!!!” way too often as I am afraid of the first mark being lonely, and use “:D” at least once a paragraph, and if I didn’t, dw I used it in spirit Also I talk a lot (this is 779 words)

I love (hate) how jkr made everything so much harder than it needed to be for herself and the fandom lmao like the currency always pissed me off so I fixed it here you go: 

This is based on the British currency (bc I’m most familiar with that and still have no idea why she didn’t just do this considering she just made a normal senior school magical and gave it magical properties for hogwarts?????) 

The ratio to a Galleon to BP is 1:1 to make this simple bc I don’t wanna do more math than necessary :D

(ima leave all the math at the bottom to those who care about that but pls look at it I had to do MATHS. I DID MATHS FOR THIS.) 

and Bc I am full of whimsy, I want them to have a print on them, kinda like how the current royal is on all the notes and coins to stop people from making it themselves or smth idk anyway a Galleon has a dragon on it bc they’re cool argue with a brick wall you have a better chance of winning (I based some of these on familiars which were more commonly associated with smaller animals so none will be as cool as a dragon :( IM SORRY CHARLIE WEASLEY I HAVE FAILED YOU)

Half a Galleon is called a Ullium (named after the first, and best, Minister Of Magic) it’s a silver coin, only slightly larger than a Galleon, in the shape of a decagon, with a print of a cat bc I definitely think they have a saying like “a cat is a witches best friend” kinda like “A dog is man's best friend” bc I love cats and so do they <3

A fifth of a Galleon is a Sickle wow I’m actually listening to canon for once look at that!!! Basically equivalent to a 20p on its own, but looks like a 5p for some reason (small circular silver coin) but with a griffin on it bc why tf not you have something against griffins????

Next up, holy moly replay that clip dude bc I’m following canon for once AGAIN!!!! Be so proud of me chat I know I am, anyways, everyone's favourite the Knut (PFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT THAT PUN WAS NOT INTENDED AT ALL LMAOOOOO) a little bronze coin with a goat on it (fun fact that I probably should’ve known sooner: goats were believed to be magical or spiritual powers!!!! sick right???? Anyways thought that was cool, slapped it on a coin what you gonna do about it champ) no one makes a Galleon out of knuts (oh my gods I am a child) but if you wanted to you absolute weirdo you’d have to have 21 of these bad boys

MOVING ON to another one of my own making, a Coronet!!! It's a small reddish coin about the size of a twenty p and isn’t very popular, usually just used as change (bout as useful as a five p or penny) but it has a ferret on it so I wouldn’t be complaining ya win some ya lose some. 

Named it coronet bc it was the name of an actual currency once used in England but bc of inflation it doesn’t exist anymore :( my baby girl was “a denomination of sterling coinage worth a quarter of one pound (five shillings, or 60 (old) pence)” according to google bc you can’t expect me to acatually remember that 

Anyway for all y'all here for the math *cough* losers *cough* come right this way: 

Galleon to pound ratio is 1:1 

Sickle = fifth of Galleon (5 of them make 1 Galleon)

Wanna make a sickle through knuts??? First of all, why?, Second of all you just need 7 of them to make 1 sickle

To make a (1) Galleon through knuts like a dumbass you’d need 21 knuts 

Though maybe not as much of a dumbass as people who wanna make a (1) Galleon out of Coronets HAHAHA have fun counting out 63 of them bitches suckers!!! (Coronets are a third of a Knut bc...I really am in too deep aren’t I) 

Anyway if you wanted to make a Galleon with a Ullium, like the smart person you are, you’d only need 2 

*to the tune of Sabrina Carpenters tour conclusion* 

If you have an issue with my math, no you don’t :D 

if you wanna know another equation of how to make x out of y then figure it out yourself :D 

I am not a calculator I simply work here :D

If you want to use this for inspo or use it as is then be sure to credit/tag me as I love reading things :D

[sillyfreakingstrings]

Going with the trend!!!

i FINALLY got some inspiration to draw my oc again!!! well, a relationship chart at least. more detailed explanations are below the cut :3

oh yeah if you DOOOO want her ref it's right here:

https://www.tumblr.com/sillyfreakingstrings/771210759353073664/i-finally-did-it?source=share

And text reference! ↓

🌊 "You can also use her name or any water related emoji too btw!!!"

okay im just gonna say this SHE IS A HATERRRRR so that's why she dislikes so much people lol

Main Game:

Lil Mac ⭐:

I mean, other than the fact that she met him after one of his world circuit matches she doesn't really know who he is. She is proud of him for keeping up his wins though- She's a bit.. jealous of how he's only 17 and already set to become champion. Now if only she could reach for the stars too..

Glass Joe 🥖:

Ah yes, the latter of the bunch. They've never met, but she's heard of him. Sometimes she imagines herself with the persistence to keep going though.

Von Kaiser 🇩🇪:

Yeah, they've met. No, she doesn't plan on seeing him anytime soon. They've interacted, but she just doesn't vibe with the whole "dictator" vibe going on. Infact it's a little weird to be honest.

Disco Kid 🪩:

Hell yeah! Finally someone that matches her vibe. They're..friends? Sort of? There's a weird tension between the two that's just. Off. Occasionally she comes to the club to meet up and dance, especially when she wins her own matches! She's really only there because her friend..(ANOTHER OC will make a ref...uh later-)

King Hippo 👑:

She just thinks he's mad ugly LMAO

(In all seriousness they've met but she does not like to keep up a conversation with this man. Not like hippo can speak much in the first place.)

Piston Hondo 🍙:

Hondos like a father figure to her. From his wisdom, his honor..even food tastes! They both talk often both in and out of the dumb collabs both the leagues make them do. Guess there was some good coming from these in the first place.

Bear Hugger 🧸:

Great guy to hang around! Other than the smell of what seems to be like fish and tree bark she doesn't mind striking up a conversation once in a while. Pretty chill if you wanted to fish with him. Maybe in the future she'll show him how to catch an alligator...

Great Tiger 🐯:

Never met before and probably will never go out of her way to talk with him. She is not so keen about him as well, Disco or anything.

Don Flamenco 🌹:

Had to talk with him at least once while being on a girl's trip with Carmen, and let's just say..she isn't a big fan of him. She just doesn't get how sooo much people fall for him. Would never tell Carmen about that..it's probably for the best.

Aran Ryan 🍀:

The crazed Irish himself. Honestly she sees some of herself within him, which is why they both are friends. There's something about him that makes her feel..different. She can see the glances he does every so often when it looks like she's distracted, but it's probably to get a better look. Right?

Soda Popinski 🍾:

Jesus Christ dude chill with the red. Is that your whole color scheme? Hates on him in secret just because he sounds very insane. Probably blind sighted by Aran however.

Bald Bull 🐂:

He's just plain scary simple as that. It's the main reason why she stays away from him. Well, as much as she can anyway.

Super Macho Man!!! 🕶️:

She does NOT like how douchy he is. Like, at all. Just cause hes famous doesn't mean you can push another around like some dog toy. They argue on social media lol.

Mr Sandman ⏳:

One word, 2 vowels. Scary. I think that sums it up.

EXTRA CHARACTERS!!!

Doc Louis 🚲:

Who? All she knows is that he trains Mac..seems like a cool fellow to talk with.

Carmen 🌺:

The both of them are like, the bestest friends ever!! They go on girls trips every weekend and party together. She feels comfortable enough to actually vent to her about issues as well, which is pretty nice considering how closed off Tide is. She also might have a little.. affection towards her.

The Ref 🎤:

Appreciates how he has to deal with crazed fools all the time. I'm not looking at anyone, I swear! (🍀)

I just got 10 years taken off of my lifespan doing this PLEASE LIKE THIS PLEASE!!!!!!!! AHHHHH

also if you guys want you can link your ocs and i can make some interaction chart thingy for them too lol, lmk what u think 😆

[justcallmenikki7]

Hi, it’s Nikki.

I’m writing this to give you all, the ones who are still here even tho I’ve been basically hiatus for a while now, with some posts here and there. You probably all, also, saw this coming, but I’m sadly done writing.

God, im crying lmao.

Anyways, I realized after constantly trying to write something, outline, everything, I couldn’t write anymore. Maybe it’s because I went through a severe abusive relationship at the beginning of April 2022 to the end of November of 2022, and it completely changed me as a person. I lost a lot of love, likes, whatever you may call it, from that relationship. It changed me, and one of the things it changed in me was my love for writing. My spark isn’t here anymore, and I’ve been trying to hold on for the last possible year and a half for you guys, but it hasn’t happened. I’m afraid of change, I’m afraid of letting go, and have a bad time of accepting the fact that i mayve grown out of a phase, you know? My love for the boys will always be there, always.

What has also caused me lots of stress, and is a sign of losing my spark, has been trying to write and come up with ideas, and creat stories for those who have messaged me privately, and I feel terrible for not being able to do that, and I hate breaking promises/not keeping my word because I wanted to make you guys happy, and I’ve failed those individuals. I’m sorry for not finishing those requests, and I’m sorry that I never actually started them because I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to make you happy, but I couldn’t get anything out and so I sat for the longest time, trying to get a good paragraph, or in a general a sentence out, but i couldn’t and I didn’t.

And I’ve sadly relapsed the other night after almost 2 years of being clean from s/h. My depression has been in the dumps, and even tho I have so many positives going on in my life and such amazing people, and an amazing partner, my mental health is deteriorating and I need to focus on myself.

I know I’ve once done a short hiatus before and came back because sometimes a small break is good to have, but sometimes all things must come to an end, and I’m officially closing my chapter with tumblr and writing for good.

I’ve made a couple of friends on here, and those friends I want to address real quickly and say my peace.

@wickizer , girl you know everything and ily

@minniepetals . My gosh, I remember reading your story String of Fate when it first came out, and I swore up and down, still today I do, that it’ll be published in the hall of fame. Despite it being on its hiatus, it’s still the best story so far. You deserve an award for your writing, and your story Cry Me A River is such an amazing masterpiece. I’ve been meaning to read it all, but life has gotten in the way and I’m so proud of you. Even tho we haven’t talked in the longest time, I’m still cheering you on, on here and outside of tumblr.

@aft3rhrs . Love, you’re amazing and I hope you take care of yourself and take time for yourself. Self love and self kindness is a priority and make yourself a priority. Your writing is beautiful and I’m glad we befriended each other. I’m cheering you on, and always will. Thank you for being a kind person.

And every other writer that I bonded with on here, I love you and will be a huge cheerleader for you. To those who I reached out to when I was still new for advice, or for me to fangirl to, thank you for being kind and helpful.

And to my followers, the ones who cheered me on to keep writing when I first joined tumblr, thank you for being kind and supportive. I love each and every single one of you. You made this place a safe place for the longest time, and I’m thankful for all of you.

I’m sorry for the longest apology and me basically dumping my issues on here, I just needed to be honest with you all. I didn’t want this to sound like a ‘poor me’ ‘feel sorry for me’ but I needed to, like I said before, be honest with you.

This is scary for me, but this is me saying goodbye.

Love forever and always, justcallmenikki7.

[sturnioz]

broo, honestly im so sorry to heat about people being bitches, ur honestly so so sweet and i visit ur page everyday cause even just reading your reply to asks makes me chuckle and giggle, bro i even have notifs from you cause i dont wanna miss something honestly you should be so proud of ur platfrom on here and you should ignore the haters, honestly aswell people to copy your shit w no credit have no self respect. ANYWAYS i love your stuff so much and your so so so good at writing honestly whenever i try to read sm else fics they dont bang the same for me. Love u 🪱

i love you <3 ngl this whole situation has freaked me tf out cos the influx of hate abt me with fratboy!chris has been insane and i am panicking LMAO.

i just wanna quickly say that no, i do not own the frat au universe at all. you are absolutely allowed to do whatever you please with it. please create as many frat aus as your heart desires.

my issue, personally, was seeing writers that were doing frat aus and using my version of fratboy!chris — or writing something eerily similar that made me be like oh.. ok :( without credits.

i purposefully made fratboy!chris absolutely fucking mean and refusing to give shy!reader hardly any affection cos i thought that would be something different and new cos usually, in frat aus i've seen for different fandoms, they make fratboy!(character/person) mean to everyone but the reader and i just kinda wanted to switch that up and make something different. so when i come online and see something similar written by someone else, im just very :( aw man :|

i've said this multiple times before and i'll happily say it again. i LOVE knowing that i've inspired people to write. like thats fucking crazy ?? and so fucking cool ?? love that shit. and i'd be totally fucking ok if someone wrote something of mine and put "inspired by @/sturnioz" at the end without telling me beforehand cos its like a lil gift lmao. like i'd love that.

sorry that this reply is so long and jumbled, ive been very overstimulated with everything that has happened. please... with anything that i've written that anyone has felt inspired by, please credit me. thats all i ask.

[dnphobe]

Looking at how they've presented themselves over time is always interesting. I think the queer experience of slowly questioning societal and gender norms (and gender, in many cases) is something I recognize in them. Im also curious how Phil's journey is different because he was out to his close ones for a lot longer, and it feels like Dan has more fun shouting about being gay because of the trauma that he associated with the label. I loved seeing their support of queer identities even when they were publicly closeted. It's nice that, even if they weren't comfortable being out, they wanted everyone to know they were a safe space

i agree! the different ways they've presented themselves to us over the years is one of my favourite topics to talk about tbh!

dan's journey wrt to gender presentation and how he feels about gender (not gonna theorise on how he identifies bc what do i know, but to quote him he's fine with being viewed as a man but also not offended if people use pronouns/gendered terms outside of that to refer to him) is interesting because he's said he's always been "flamboyant" but tried to hide that in his youtube career for a long time, and he's gone from saying "i can't do it i'm just such a boy" about painting his nails to having them painted more often than not, but also in day in the life of manchester he said he sometimes wishes he was a girl when looking at 'women's clothing', so it's clearly something he's felt for a long time.

i don't think phil necessarily feels the same pull to be gender non-conforming, but it is also something he's struggled with doing (in one of the stereo shows, when talking about the maid dress he wore in VPMO 2, he said that while it was a cheap joke outfit, a few years ago he would not have felt comfortable wearing a dress at all) so that might be something he's still working toward being comfortable with, but at the same time he's never felt shame about telling us things like he likes using raspberry scented body wash or that he does skin care (while when phil mentioned doing skin care dan was clutched by toxic masculinity saying "don't do- i mean that's fine!"

agree with dan having more fun shouting about being gay because of the trauma and i'm so glad he's reached where he is now! phil...i think for a long time he thought he didn't NEED to shout about being gay, especially because like you said he was out to a few people for longer. but i think it's something he realised he DID want to do after coming out to us. as he said in his coming out one year later video he didn't realise how much of himself he was holding back from us by not being out and it feels like a weight off his shoulders now. i think they both love being gay and shouting about being gay and celebrating that with us and im so proud of phil too <3 i actually have a hot take which is i think if it wasn't for dan's coming out he might have never fully come out to us, not just in a "if dan never had he never would have" way, but in a "if he and dan never met he wouldn't have" way, because he IS a private person and didn't think he was missing out on anything.

i am always so glad they made sure we knew they were accepting of us even if they weren't ready to be out. ngl it got kind of rough in like 2012 for me when dan was so adamantly against people thinking he was gay my own internalised homophobia brain went "does he hate gay people?" but that's on me, not him, or more accurately on BOTH of our internalised homophobia situations lmao. but yeah they've always been so sweet about their queer and trans fans, and one thing i personally appreciate so much is how they will use they/them for any fan they don't know the gender of no matter what their name/appearance/voice would make other people assume their gender to be! i feel so safe with them, and im gonna add this bc im still sappy after this weekend, so safe with phannies too <3 i think phannies queer identities and dnp's queer identities have ALWAYS flowed into each other and both sides of the parasocial line have made the other side feel safe and grow into their identities and helped them accept and appreciate other people's identities.

[imsiriuslyreading]

fanfic author interview game

slay thanks @kaaaaaaarf pops for tagging, i love u

How many works do you have on AO3?

14

What's your total AO3 word count?

429,590 holy hell

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

I've Got Soul (But I'm Not A Soldier) - Reggie haunts(?) Draco and helps fix things

Thousands of Good Deeds - Hitman Remus, Detective Sirius. Dorlene, Rosekiller & Jily

Cold Coffee - Drarry, post-war, recovering addiction/trauma with sassy Draco

You're On Your Own Kid - Wolfstar raising Harry (WIP) they stole him from the Dursleys

If You Could See Yourself Like This - Sirius' S***ide attempts, James POV, background Wolfstar. Centres around James & Sirius friendship.

Do you respond to comments?

mostly! I am very very good at hiding though.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

i'm a HEA person. I guess the closest would be...

You called me angel for the first time, my heart leapt from me 

Regulus is an angel, James falls in love with him when he comes to take James' soul.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

personally i think all of 'em bahaha. but maybe... Thousands of Good Deeds 

Do you write crossovers?

what does this mean?! my friend @emjayeingray and I wrote a wolfstar x downton abbey au once? Starting Fires and Stealing Kisses 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

once but someone in the comments replied to them for me and it was so nice that it made me pick up the story again and keep writing it lmao

Do you write smut?

sigh. not *really*. like, implied?? here's the things, my ears go red at the mere prospect of writing the word c***, or ***e, or like any of 'em. so... perhaps one day I'll give it a go.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no

Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

YES! with @emjayeingray, @januaryfirstreads and @brigid-faye. it is my absolute favourite.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Wolfstar. forever.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

i have a few hidden WIPs cause they give me anxies. I'm pretty sure I'll finish all of them tbf.

What are your writing strengths?

dialogue. i'd say thats the one (1) thing I'm good at. i can slay the shit out of a good conversation. just... don't ask me to have one in real life cause I can barely make eye contact babe

What are your writing weaknesses?

i forget to describe where people are. what something looks like. i also love a comma

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i think language can be so tied to culture that they are linked beyond imagination. i think if you're gonna do it, do it well, and do it conscientiously.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i reallyyyyy wanna write evan/james lmao. im the newest member of the Evan rosier fanclub

What's your favourite fic you've written?

fuck that's so hard? i write so much about grief and addiction and all of these things that mean so much to me that it's all scattered through each of 'em. so I'll say Thousands of Good Deeds because it's the first long boyo I've finished and I can see the improvements in my writing as it goes on. and it was just like such a proud thing to finish it. and my friend jules made it into a book for me and I'll never ever get over that.

tagging: @solmussa @alarainai @anniedreamwilldo @dearamleo @synonomy @blitheringmcgonagall and anyone else (soz im so late to this) xxoxo

[swmgsillystuff7]

A scenario i think about a lot 🌲

i tend to have lots of vore scenarios run threw my head like all day but there is one that just always sticks with me since thinking about it brings me comfort. i thought i would share it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ you come home from your 8-hour shift; you didn't have such a good day at work. something during your shift ruined your mood, but your pred roommate is there to greet you once you walk in the door. they get home from their own job before you, so they are usually the one to make dinner for the two of you. you two have been great friends for a long time, you haven't been living with each other for very long but being in each other's presence is nice. your pred friend has made you dinner! it's your favorite meal! ....but you are too tired and upset to appreciate the food. you try to hide the tired sadness with a weak smile...but as you walk to your room to change out of your work clothes, your friend knows something is off. they don't ask about it until after you have ate. your pred friend eventually asks you what's wrong, you can see they are visibly concerned about you. you can't really keep up the fake happiness anymore and you break down, telling them the kind of day you had at work. they are quick to pull you into a hug, telling you that everything is going to be fine. their warm hugs and comforting voice has always helped you calm down when you are in distress. your friend knows how hard you have been working lately. as much as they hate seeing you so tired from work, they can't help but feel proud of you for working so hard. they wish you had more days off so you two could hang out, or just sit home and play video games. your friend asks if you would like to go to bed early, you nod your head tiredly. you already know what they mean by "go to bed" it wasn't your first time being eaten by them. they had done this many times before. your friend always made sure to be as gentle as they could possibly be, not wanting to cause you anymore stress then you were already feeling. you fit snuggly inside their belly, just enough that it isn't uncomfortable. the pressure of the walls around you is nice, you can feel your friends hand pressing against you as they rub their belly. they finally get up and walk to their bedroom to lay down, spreading out on their bed to get comfortable. letting out a big yawn before saying they hope you sleep well, things will be better tomorrow, and they will see you in the morning. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (also just to clarify i use "they" and "theirs" and "them" when refiring to preds to help people better Invision maybe a oc or a character they like. since i know a lot of people like to Invision themselves in scenarios like this. i feel like it helps give a little more freedom to the person reading.) (also kind of writing this cuz i don't see a lot of friend vore. it's mainly lover type stuff and im just over here looking for a friend type scenario/story. just two bros being bros and comforting each other during hard times) (also uh...if you want to here more scenarios i have just ask, i have lots of ideas and visions. name a scenario and i have probs thought of it and even written something about it LMAO)

[youremyheaven]

Hi there. Princess here. How are you, sunshine? I'm planning on running away from the country. Not like actually running away but as in leaving everyone behind and never coming back. It's not possible right now obviously but maybe in a couple of years. It was decided that I'll be a doctor (by my parents obviously and I have accepted that I'll do it cause I'm better at biology and it just interests me more than mathematics and as a field medicine is better than engineering for me so I had no choice but to just accept my fate) and I'm giving NEET next year. I am running away cause that's the only option I have if I wanna live my life the way I want to. I am from a very conservative and controlling background and even though our family is full of scholars and highly educated people with most having a PhD they're not the most open minded people out there. With them having a career that you wanna pursue, marrying the guy you want to, wearing clothes that you wanna wear, everything is impossible. I'm a muslim so a burqa is what they want me to wear which I hate cause I refuse to hide myself just because my hair can arouse a man. We're also from a caste that's on top of the caste hierarchy so they're hellbent on marrying their children off to guys Only from that caste and and his family has to be purely from that caste too 🙄. All these things are absurd to me and I won't do anything like that. So basically I have to live in a prisoner, marry the guy of their choice that will probably abuse me and force me to have kids and ruin their life as well. I'll just become my mom which is my biggest fear in life. I don't wanna end up like her. I refuse to live like that. Like a sex slave for my husband who pushes out a baby for him every year. In islam you can't refuse to sleep with your husband cause the Almighty would be angry with you and angels will curse you till your husband's satisfied so yeah you can guess how happy that marriage is going to be. And it's only One aspect that's fucked up, I haven't even told you about the other things. So yeah I'm gonna run away from here to a place where no one knows me and never look back. But I don't know what to do? Should I wait till my MBBS is done and apply for a student visa and a university then? I'm really confused about the practical aspect of things and i wonder if you or any other kind sissy could help me with it

sorry for the delayed response...my life was being a bit eventful (when is it not, tbh lmao 😪🤐)

there is a lot to unpack here and i just want to say, im proud of you for having your shit together mostly despite the circumstances you're dealing with, you're one STRONGGG COOKIE

as someone who comes from a domestically violent/abusive household and has moved out and moved on in life, i feel like im a bit qualified to answer this?

first of all, don't just do a degree as intensive as MBBS because you feel like you have no choice. i know your situation and how your parents aren't giving you a choice etc etc BUT BBG you can manifest your way out of anything, im sorry if I sound delusional but please just listen to subliminals and affirm that you can study something of your choice

i mean there's no harm in trying?? so?? just give it a shot

the reason im emphasizing on you getting a degree you actually like is because the ages between 18 and say 22 are foundational years and it moulds you as a person. if you're stuck doing a course that you don't like, you'll be burnt out and you'll struggle emotionally. please dont take on unnecessary trauma, life is hard as it is.

think about what you actually like and pray/manifest that your parents let you study it, THIS IS CRUCIAL

now onto the future/moving out/running away etc

first things first, adulthood is really fucking hard. i am almost 25 and ill tell you that much.

do not go no-contact with your family until you're completely financially secure enough to do so!!!

look at freelance work, side hustles etc etc and find ways to make an income. start saving. as long as you financially depend on your family, they will control you.

so get a degree of your choice. hopefully your parents send you off to a hostel or pg or something. (manifest that for yourself) and then FIND A JOB

in the next few years, your focus should be entirely on saving money and making money. and in this day and age, money is really not that hard to make. people make $$$ selling feet pics (not that im suggesting you should but im just saying) so like there are a million opportunities if u start digging around

you can apply for masters abroad, get a scholarship, take a loan etc etc work part-time and live independently. a million people do it, you can too.

DO NOT RUN AWAY UNLESS YOU HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO MANAGE YOUR EXPENSES + A JOB TO RELY ON/A STEADY SOURCE OF INCOME

living independently is hella expensive bbg you have no idea, rent/electricity/water/FOOD/commute/GROCERIES/medicine, EVERYTHING COSTS MONEY. there was a time when i was so broke i only had 80 rupees left in my bank account and if it weren't for the readings i do on tumblr, id have starved or idk what would've happened to me

NOBODY WILL RESCUE YOU. im not saying this to be harsh but in the real world, no matter how kind and understanding your friends/partners are of your family and situation, no one can save you. you have to save yourself. i couldn't even afford to eat 1 meal a day and i had no friends to help me and it has taught me everything about life. trust me when i say this, when you're alone in a city, broke and struggling, its just you against this world and it can be very very lonely and very very depressing. im just saying this to give you a reality check.

i dont talk to anybody anymore because ive realised their true colours and learnt that the grace or kindness i extend to others will never be reciprocated, least of all when i desperately need it. i stayed in a horrible relationship, so i wouldnt go hungry or be homeless. make of that what you will.

anyways thats the reality of the world we live in.

if i could do anything differently, id have saved a lot of money, invested it or managed it differently and planned things better

SO PLEASE.

have a game plan. list out all the things you will need. calculate the cost and double that because you will need that much money. AND GET A DEGREE.

another thing is, its better to ghost your family or separate yourself from them to whatever extent you want when you're a bit older because babygirl this world is full of horrible people and as abusive as your family is, you still have a safety net right now

if you're 18, 19, 20 and living and working on your own, things can go HORRIBLY wrong. it may not but india is not a safe country and you're going to be surrounded by people who will try to take advantage of you. please finish your degree first, get a masters too if you want to and THEN when you're 22-23 and old enough to have your shit together, ghost your family or live alone or whatever. its still gonna be hard but trust me, i work with a 20yr old girl who comes from an abusive family and i know the way people at work treat her and i know how difficult things are for her to manage (financially, emotionally and otherwise) SO JUST PLEASE, entering the work force at a very young age is soulcrushing and people wont take you seriously and you wont even get paid much.

get a good education. take additional courses/certifications. find remote work. make good contacts at your university. do internships. build a network. get a good job. save money.

life can turn around in miraculous ways. i believe in you and i have faith.

please dont do anything dumb

if you or any other young women (or just anybody tbh) needs to talk about anything of this sort, im here to listen and ill give you my 2 cents

as someone who has been there and done that, its no fucking joke and im so fkn glad i didnt listen to any of the bitches who gave me horrible advice about running away when i was younger