#i hate having to lose a friend
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friendship breakups suck
#i hate having to lose a friend#this person gaslit n manipulated one of my other friends#and i don’t mean in the tumblr way. like actually tried to pin everything bad about their relationship on this person#also made jokes about rape fantasies after this person confessed their fear of being kidnapped.#so. not a great person#and ofc on their twitter they are playing the victim 🙄#i was supposed to get a matching tattoo with this person but it was during the ice storm so we put it off#thank god
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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WhatsApp simply forced an AI inside of it's app and the thing is SO UGLY. Literally ugly! There's a hovering button and it's colors aren't even in the WhatsApp colors so now the main page makes me feel so overwhelmed..... i hate it so much
#rant#->#and no i cant leave the app#whatsapp is the most used app in brazil#we simply cannot live without it. it's our communication method#telegram is filled with right wingers#ughhhhhh#now my statuses are filled with all my contacts 'having fun' with it#friends etc#feels like losing a war for real#i hate it here. i hate how everything in brazil ends up in pizza (national expression for 'every discussion will end up in a joke')#nobody really cares about nothing at all. they will fight as long as nobody spits a joke out. once someone does we're all friends again#this is why we can't get shit done#im so tired#sorry for the rant#nonsims#non sims
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Valentino Rossi & Marc Márquez
[ happy (belated) 9 year anniversary to sepang 2015 aka the one weekend everything went wrong, everything changed and that still haunts motogp to this day <3 ]
history of man by maisie peters
#soo we were talkinh about possible rosquez narratives in sepang i heard?? *insert that bear picture* bonjour 😏#*technically* the anniversary was last weekend already on oct 25th…but the sepang weekend is now and the edit wasn‘t resdy sooo#:)))#‚i‘m sure there was heartbreak in the world of motogp‘…‘so valentino blamed marc‘….‘valentino started the war yet valentino hates marc‘….#yeah….yeahh#also vale‘s evil spirit entered ae and fucked with the audio and now the one part sounds like ‚his program is to make me lose..‘#which is basically what he said anyway but now the text is all fucked up!!!#get out of my computer evil vale spirit!!!!#also. if the texts don‘t exactly line up and you see any glitches. look past it bestie. please. i went through PAIN to render this#and tumblr fucked the quality left and right and center…why. why. 🤠#what if i just—☠️#anywhoooooo#btw. is is. is it normal to still get brainworms about them. just. asking for a friend. because. maybe that friend hears a song sooometimes#and is thinking is like ohmygod that‘s rosquez#and then she has the urge to make an edit on her fuckass old laptop with a crackef after effects that doesn‘t play audios n lags like crazy#and she will HATE the edit but then think fuck it we ball and hits post with zero regards for the people who will have to the see it#no yeah i should talk to her yeah i agree mhm#motogp#marc marquez#valentino rossi#rosquez#rosquez edit#s.edits
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Nirei and Sakura are NOT beating the "unconditionally in love" allegations. In fact, they're just proving to be in love over and over again with each chapter
#the fact that i'm not using all their moments because they're too gay and they're always together#so i'd have to reread the manga again#and yes i said again bc i reread it already#but oh lord just make them kiss cmon cmon#it's about the protectiveness and trust they have on each other#it's about nirei's admiration for sakura and sakura being unable to take that love bc he hates himself and nirei giving it to him anyway#it's about nirei asking him to share his burden with him#it's about sakura protecting his first real friend with his life to the point of feeling guilty every time nirei's in danger#it's about sakura starting to trust nirei to protect himself too#IT'S ABOUT RELYING ON EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME#the way this is just me and my partner i am losing it#wind breaker#wind breaker (satoru nii)#nirei akihiko#sakura haruka#whatever the shipname is called#bc i haven't seen anyone use a shipname for them so whatever#but they're my favorite ship without a doubt
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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IMO a lesser mentioned reason behind Luffy's overwhelming success as a protagonist is Oda's extreme overprotectiveness. Like he'd rather jump off a cliff than let Luffy be controversial.
Marineford is an easy example. An arc heavily featuring Luffy's low point, but Oda didn't make him responsible for Ace's death. In 1000+ chapters of screentime, I can't think of an instance where Luffy did something irredeemable in fandom eyes. Only controversial scene that comes to mind is picking a fight against Zoro in Whiskey peak? Maybe Oda had the luxury to let his guard down back then bc online discussions weren't a thing PFFT
It's not like Luffy doesn't make mistakes, but Oda makes sure Luffy is immediately called out by someone in the story so he stays grounded and can apologize if he has to.
And that's not all, Oda is vocally supportive of Luffy in the polls, he can't not include Luffy in magazine covers even when the editors press him to, he made the timskip 2years bc he wanted Luffy to stay a child during story's runtime, he doesn't let a single character outshine Luffy in an arc, he cushioned Luffy's past with TWO brothers and kept one alive after taking away one of them.. he's spoiling Luffy rotten and I love to see it bc that's the right kind of spoiling, that's what keeps Luffy the happy boy he needs to be, shonen authors should take some notes methinks
#I was talking with a friend about this#how some auhors go “tough love” mode and make their protagonists do something highly controversial#more like the asian parent mode™ where you love your children but degrade them in some way#while oda gleefully shows you Luffy and is like “have you seen my son? you're only allowed to compliment btw 🔫😄”#readers losing love for mc has been a common case in many shonen I've followed so luffy is always refreshing to return to#it's so funny seeing how little people has to complain about Luffy as a person#meanwhile shanks with his 10 page screentime probably has a hater's club#sure g5 is pretty controversial but the hate seems directed at Oda for his writing choice rather than luffy#one piece meta#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#portgas d. ace#marineford spoilers#1 am feels#mine
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it’s nowhere near the worst interpretation and i do understand how it could be assumed or even be compelling if you’re very interested in the lords in black but one of my biggest pet peeves is the interpretation that the lords in black are manipulating grace and deliberately driving her to where she ends up the entire play. such a big part of what makes grace work is her role as the driving force in the play, an active agent who’s actions directly lead to all the calamity and tragedy that occurs later through sheer religious guilt, desperation and neuroticism. taking even some of that autonomy away from her makes her significantly less compelling.
#she is so funny and tragic and i love her so much but i also hate her#she’s all ive been able to think about for the last week#grace chasity#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#starkid#in a similar vein i really dislike the concept that grace would have done what she does at the end at any point in the play bc she’s Evil#undeniably she is unstable and violent at times but like if you read the lyrics#‘if i break the rules i will finally know my worth’ and ‘darkness will spare my soul’ make it clear this is coming as a result of trauma#she feels trapped by her religion and is so desperate to break out of it but she also thinks that makes her evil and dirty#she hates herself and part of her hates god and she has to externalise that hate to shield herself. To redeem herself#after losing her virginity. It all makes me so sad. oh grace :(#also interesting is that some of it does come from a built up resentment from social isolation and bullying as a “nerdy prude”#and while Yeah a lot of that isolation is her own fault there is no way to express how insane having no friends in high school makes u#she wants to be normal and have friends and sex and swear and let go for once in her life. But she won’t let herself have it
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the supreme court is so comically evil like you really have to vote blue across the board they made it legal to criminalize homelessness, overturned chevron which means the extremely conservative courts get to override health officials and environmental regulations
like infant mortality has increased by 8% in some states post roe, they will avoid the trump immunity case as long as possible, they essentially shielded all the jan 6 rioters
if biden loses we could be stuck with 6-3 or 7-2 extremely conservative judges for decades!!! that could mean 40 years of social rights regulations and health codes thrown out the door!!! look how much we’ve lost in 8 years?
and what about pack the courts? you can’t pack the courts with this split congress you can’t pass roe laws with this split congress you really have to vote blue all the way
#us politics#presidential debate#supreme court#I HATE THE SUPREME COURT I WANT THEM GONE SO BADLY#it’s so easy to lose everything at once!!!#yall we can’t do this again!!!!!!!!!!!!#ALITO AND THOMAS WILL QUIT#AND TRUMP WILL APPOINT FRESH ULTRA RIGHT CONSERVATIVE 30 SOMETHING YEAR OLDS#WHO WILL BE THERE FOR EONS#trump is so much worse than biden in like every way dawg#i feel sick guys LOOK AT OUR LIBERALS#thought the democratic party did this to themselves#fucking idiots! should’ve let biden step down#like we can go all the way back to RBG and Hillary Clinton like SHIT#this year i did a huge project on feminism in the us and to think all of those policies could be lost within my lifetime#we just got those#biden sucks he sucks a lot but trump is the devil#this country is not organized enough for 3rd party especially not with trump’s cult of personality#republicans will vote for him no matter what!!!#we should’ve done more about those damn courts uggg my head#this is why i can never be a politician id get a terrible headache and just start knocking shit over#one of my friends is voting green cause the democrats disappointed her an i agree they suck they suck so badly but#but the last thing i’ll do is let this country move any further to the right#i’ll take shit piece of trash liberal than i think people shouldn’t have rights conservative
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do you ever think about how Ohkubo extremely casually dropped the fact that Spirit & Kami were teen parents & then proceeded to never expound upon that fact or bring it up ever again despite it explaining a whole lot about them & Maka
#I think a big part of why I'm so attached to/interested in spirit as a character is because he objectively has A LOT going on in his life.#but because he was created to fill that stock pervy comedic-relief anime side-character archetype we never get to see any of it examined.#or even brought up at all for the most part#like spirit apparently comes from a long line of death weapons who despite having been loyal to lord death for generations are never ever#mentioned & who spirit himself never mentions despite carrying on the family tradition (although he's not unique in that regard tbh)#at 12-13 years old he becomes stein's weapon partner & in his own words it became “[spirit's] job to control [stein].”#another kid with a laundry list of mental health & behavioral issues that spirit probably wasn't super prepared to help “control”#(personally I think that this “job” of spirit's was a duty he took upon himself rather than something lord death necessarily told him to do)#then just ~5 years later he 1) loses/rejects said weapon partner & probably best friend after some really major boundaries were crossed#2) becomes a husband & father at just 18#(& in his own words a broke 18 year old at that. another point towards him not being in contact with any family if they're even alive)#3) becomes technically one of the most important people in the world once he ascends to being a death weapon.#not necessarily in that exact order but certainly in quick succession.#& then we fast forward to canon & spirit's at best a guy who drinks way more than he probably should & at worst a functioning alcoholic#who's only A MONTH into being divorced for his habitual infidelity & is in the really weird position of being the primary caretaker of his#daughter who (rightfully) hates him despite him having zero custodial rights over her.#& imo he seems to have no friends in death city before stein & the other death scythes return despite generally being a people person.#like. spirit is kind of the epitome of should've been at the club lmao#soul eater#spirit albarn#kami albarn#meta (kind of. not really lol)
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being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me
#irl mostly. but even online. i cannot connect or find communities or support systems the way most of u can#even if i do have found great connections and one connection in particular im more than grateful for#but i have had so much of my humanness torn off for so long that i am awkward and useless in handling it#but yeah idk :/ im just so profoundly jealous of how everyone can just fit into a slot#even online when ppl talk abt being anxious and stuff they still have ppl to talk to#or ppl irl to hang out with and im like.. wow... i cant even do that :/#it is just so lonely in general. and it has made me confused and incapable of knowing how to be a human#and fully realise and actualize the one connection i do have#if i had gotten to learn and now know how to be a human and a person i would've... been a person#but now i feel so removed and far away from that idek how...#like im at a point where i cant even have simple and shallow conversations online bc im like so useless#maybe only other ppl with avpd and who have been socially rejected and isolated and alienated can fully understand what i mean#it is so scary and weird and i feel such deep envy for how people can just like... talk to eo. irl and online. i dont get it#and like the connection i do have that i mention bc it is so important to me.. that does all of those things#but it is like im so not used to anyone even keep wanting to have a connection with me#that i feel like bambi on ice 💀 for lack of a better metaphor#and inside of me idk how to dare to open up to it bc i've been numb and shut off i just dont know#i dont know. but i want to but idk how.#ahhhhhh wanna scream bc just trying to describe it so i can make sense of it is frustrating!!!!#it also sucks bc other ppl really dont seem to get how fkn weird and scary it is to feel so removed from humanness#and not even be able to do most basic human people things most ppl who are mentally ill or anxious do.. i cant even do that idk#talking and communicating is the main thing like ppl do not understand how fkn hard it is for me to even have a simple convo#and i cant explain it bc theres no way someone who doesnt feel the same and have avpd could get it...#but idk. i just hate all of this and i wish i had a normal functioning brain. i just wanna be like everyone else#even ppl w social anxiety are capable of having friends. and im terrified of losing the only connection i've somehow been lucky to get#in my hands??? im so scared of losing that but idk HOW to be a person and idk!!! idk!!#other ppl dont even think abt these things im so fkn jealous lmao#anyway whatever 😔
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tried drawing a wallpaper for myself :)
shadow alone below because i like how he looks more
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sth#my art#i surprisingly really like how shadow turned out#and yet at the same time i hate sonic lmao#there’s something about how he looks which bugs me because it doesn’t look right beside shadow#he just looks unfinished and i can’t think of what to add 😭#oh well#i got too tired to put more effort into it though and idk if i have the motivation to come back to this later#also i drew both of shadow’s inhibitor rings rather than him just losing one#yeah idk#sonic gives one to rouge but i like the idea of him having one to keep as well#I’ve seen other people with this headcanon too#i just think sonic deserves a memory of shadow too since he tried to save his life. maybe they couldve even been friends had shadow ‘lived’#but anyway whatever !!
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ive never liked powerless saiki aus because the entire conclusion of the series is him accepting his powers as being a part of him that he cant change so like.. in aus where the power remover works, half of his development is erased..
if he had been "powerless" for longer, we wouldve gotten to see him realize this himself and im genuinely sad that we didnt.. we got to see him realize that being powerless wasnt the change he wished it would be and that its something he cant change, but its literally over a two day long period and we miss out on sooo much potential development..
and then in aus where hes born powerless, people think he would have the exact personality and development that he THOUGHT he would if he got rid of/didnt have his powers, like NO ? "without powers he would be another satou-" NO he would be a shy, borderline flamboyant, weird, awkward, genius LOSER.
he would have a more normal relationship with his brother (still probably competitive but in a way more average sibling way and kusuke wouldnt have had the motivation to become so murderous) and he would probably be even more friendless but with less trauma.. he may or may not have ever befriended akechi at all, and the classroom incident wouldnt have happened.. even some of his current friends might not be around if not for coincidences due to his powers or direct involvement from his powers.. (nendo and kaido would for sure still be there though, but this only ensures the idea that he would be the biggest fcking loser ever)
he would still be saiki, but. his powers are a key part of him. he would be totally different without them, but NOT in the way he thinks he would..
#also realistically he would be just as much of a stubborn asshole tsundere without his powers cmon#like yea his anxiety might present itself more as shyness than it does in canon him#but hes still an awkward stubborn asshole tsundere like thats just who the guy is#hes extra shy and maybe extra cute without his abilities to make people not find him cute#and is also like extremely ditzy and clumsy like he is in canon but its more visible to people because he doesnt have the powers to hide it#idk the point is his little quirks he thinks he wouldnt have would still be there but he wouldnt have the same faux justifications for them#need canon saiki to see an alternate universe him where he was born powerless#and hes like 'wow im going to see my ideal average me!'#and then au him is some super quirky ditzy clumsy kid with severe anxiety and also dysphoria#and he doesnt have powers to avoid being bullied like we see him do multiple times#this guy doesnt realize he will always be a loser no matter what#he loses key parts of himself and doesnt even realize that a lot of the parts left behind are still parts of himself that he hates#i know a lot of people think he would be much less jaded powerless which i get but#a lot of aspects of his personality that have less to do with his powers are a lot of the parts that he doesnt like and gets made fun of fo#so he would probably only be slightly less jaded and his awkwardness would just weigh it out a little more#though its hard to pinpoint exactly which aspects of him are only due to his powers#a lot of them are but i personally think those specific key personality traits would remain#anyway i would love to see what his relationship with his family would be like if he was born powerless#and i want to know who his friends would be#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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just girly things: reading batman: dark victory and feeling nauseous every time harvey dent gets mentioned 🌸🥰💕
#i know he’s IN the narrative but he’s still haunting the narrative and i can’t handle it#he’s dethroned riddler as my fave rogue i fear#every time he gets brought up it’s like a knife to the heart#when jim says he misses him….#OUGH#when batman is being super despondent and more distant than usual bc he feels guilty for losing him :(#chasing him in the sewers and saying ‘I LOST YOU’ OUGHHH#when he says he almost trusted him with his secrets and that maybe trusting him would have saved him#every time he calls him a friend……#i literally can’t do this anymore it’s over for me i fear#dc#dc comics#batman#batman: dark victory#harvey dent#two-face#i had to stop watching the long halloween film bc i kinda hated how they characterised harvey and gilda but like#i really want to edit them + bruce and jim help#also i know TLH and DV aren’t the most accurate versions of harvey and his wife#but i’m enjoying them so far#the movie was killing me tho idk if i can make it through both parts lmaooo#the next The Batman needs a good version of harvey dent pleaseee i beg#idk if i have faith in them seeing how much they changed riddler tho :(#fantastic movie but questionable rogues characterisation#also i keep trying to watch the two-part BTAS episode about harvey dent#but every time i turn it on it just makes me sad LMAOOO
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I am free. Whatever I do. Whatever I choose. I do it out of m̘͓̪̋ͥͥ͐̍ͥy͕̠̳ͥͤ̎̀́ ̖̭͔̞͕̱͒ͬͬ̚ͅo͇̖̮̫̠̱͓ͫ̉ͨw̤͖̝̗̠͙̲̝͑͒̏ͯ̍ͅn͙̖͐̅ͫ̏̃̅̏̈́ ̟͚̘͑̈f̜̝͈͈̲̩͔̳̬ͪͯ͆ͯr̼̝̗͙̊e̗̝͂̈́ͮͨͣͫ̿e̖̲̼͎͍͕̎ͥͩͨ͊̀ͮͩ ͔̰̘̲̙̰̳̭̐͋̓ͣ̽̏ͣ̚w̻̻͖̠̒̌̾̽̾̑̐̂̾i̻̬ͥ̐l̼͙̫̗͎ͤͭͨͩ̒̍͐̑ͧl̠̩̊ͨ
#snkedit#snkgraphic#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#eren jaeger#eren yaeger#myedit#mygifs#anyway this quote has been in my head since the manga ended#and i was gonna make this gifset when the anime finished but its taking forever and i need to cope somehow so#cant believe im still emotional over snk in 2023#i have such a love/hate relationship with eren#seeing him slowly lose his smile#and push his friends away to protect them#i just asdffdgrsefgrhtytgfrd#you dumb boy#eren did some things wrong#but at least give him one happy timeline :'(
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i need to make this clear. i dont like tcest. never havem never will. i strictly stand against it and all that goes with it. it makes me really sick to my stomach seeing it.
i dont ship the brothers nor do i condone it.
#it affects my mental health with all its dont to people on twitter#losing friends from the fandom in regards to it#having bad mental episodes cause of the worrry of what is next to come because of it#do not lump me in with tcesters#i hate them and all they support.
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