#i hate france so much i wish it wasn't real

[ghetsismybeloved]

you just received a postcard from kalos

it's all canon and lore accurate

[silkentine]

Camille Boucher is her father's favorite daughter. If only he wasn't born in the year 840 and turned into a vampire at the age of 45 during the Siege of Paris. You think your boomer dad isn't very woke? Imagine having one who is older than France. So, being the favorite daughter doesn't amount to much when she has several male siblings. She is, however, the only one of her many siblings who refuses to hunt and kill humans for sustenance and carries great pride in that. It's been 398 years since she's killed a human with her teeth (the bubonic plague made the whole affair very unappetizing).

Despite what you might think, being 425 years old is not easy! You try living through several wars and then see if you're willing to remember them all. Sometimes, facets of Camille's memory spring to mind and she relives the deaths of her mortal friends or lifetimes of her own personal suffering. But, hey, every twenty-something (or those who look like they're in their twenties) has mental issues these days; she's not special. It's better to just put the centuries of trauma on the back-burner most days. She has a relatively easy life otherwise; with her father having dominion over the entire Pacific Northwest, there is very little outside her reach, even if her stupid brothers get to reap most of the lucrative benefits.

Camille's hobbies include: attending college (she has far too many degrees to count, though most of them are in math), looking mysterious at coffee shops, solving puzzles, and conducting independent criminal investigations. She hates cops and avoids them at all costs. Her favorite part of the job is the thrill of investigating a case without being allowed onto the crime scene or access to forensic tools. Keeps the mind sharp.

Her newest undertaking? The Dentona Vampire, a notorious serial killer known for tearing out the throats of their victims (a bad look for the local vampires who'd prefer a more low-key media presence). The Dentona Vampire has been active for about six months now, but Camille has no real leads on who the murderer might be.

That is, until she keeps bumping into the same handsome, long-haired goon who keeps announcing himself publicly as a vampire. He honestly seems too clumsy to be a notorious serial killer, but he's the only interesting thing in her never-ending life at the moment. Even if he can't lead her to a clue about her case, it wouldn't hurt to show him the ropes and teach him how to be a more subtle creature of the night and less of a tacky Anthony Slater-type.*

*Anthony Slater is a fictional vampire and one of the primary love interests in the YA book series, The Crepuscular Saga. Everyone knows he ends up with the girl at the end of the book, but Camille preferred the boyish charm of the werewolf character, Lukas Rust, and secretly wished he'd be the end-game romance.

What's another pet project? She has all the time in the world, and it would be just terrible if her father found out someone was out there telling the humans about the existence of real vampires.

Thank you for reading my massive introduction to my character, Camille Boucher! She was a tricky personality to pin down, but her sense of filial duty and her selfish interest in detective work is the perfect combination to make an overconfident and resentful eldest daughter who refuses to grow up but knows she will never develop into her own if she doesn't. The goon she keeps bumping into is the other protagonist of this work, Bat Valentine. Find out more about him by looking at the "sanguine" tag on my blog.

Some characters that I drew inspiration from for Camille are: Nancy Drew, Annabeth Chase from Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Kaylee Frye from Firefly, Nami from One Piece, and L. Lawliet from Death Note.

[thefemcelthatdeservesbetter]

"No reason"

Lately (past months/weeks) there is a dude (one of those that started frequenting bitches from my class more often) who has been colder towards me. He kept telling me to shut up and that he didn't care what I had to say. That would happen daily but I wouldn't mind, I kind of got used to it. However, every time I would buy snacks/food he'd ask me to share it with him and say "yeah, yeah you can tell me this or that" so I was happy that he'd listen to me since he's the only friend I have at school (sort of).

Recently, I texted him. He told me to shut up. The conversation went like that: "shut up I literally hate you" "why" "I just dislike you very much" "but why what did I do" "for no reason I just hate you, never text me again" "fine sorry" "leave me on read you whore" "sorry"

I didn't quite like the way he treated me but it felt like it was my fault. I feel very guilty, I think I hate myself even more than before. I keep thinking about it and I can't seem to like anything about me. I keep thinking about what really made him hate me and I can't seem to put my hand on it. I don't understand what's so detestable about me. There has to be something wrong about me, no? Everyone I become friend with ends up leaving me. And I'm so dumb because I never learn, I keep getting attached to people and ending up alone. It's so stupid because now I'm expecting everyone else I know to abandon me. Yet I still hope to meet someone that truly likes me for whatever reason.

Lately I just keep thinking about our conversation and cry. I wish I could change whatever is wrong with me. My best friend (whom I told about what happened) met that boy in the street and told him that what he did wasn't cool and that he should apologise. She then asked him why does he hate me so much and he calmly answered that he simply despises me. I wish she didn't talk to him. Because I somehow had a little hope that we'll talk again. But indeed he really just hates me deeply. I don't even need apologies I just want him to be my friend again. I don't understand what about me repulses everyone.

I don't wanna make friends anymore. I don't wanna talk to anyone anymore. I want to delete Instagram and just live my life on my own. I've been playing more otome games and talked to AI bots. I think it's a better life but no matter what I do, I keep thinking about having real human interactions. I try to accept that I'm very much an ugly loser that no one will ever want because my flaws are clearly unchangeable. It's very hard. I am very jealous of other people. There's absolutely nothing to envy about me. There's no one that really likes me.

I wish I could get male attention. Really it just keeps wandering in my head how that boy hangs out with a fat rude bitch, a short swiftie pick me and a chubby curvy slut. They're not even funny they're nothing they suck ass. I'm starting to hate males just as much as I hate females.

When last exam week ended, I didn't even feel relieved. I just hoped to have a peaceful summer or perhaps fun one. I'm not having fun at all. I stay in my room all day. My throat is dry by how little I talk. My parents got into a fight last night. Just like last summer, I think holidays won't be peaceful at all. Luckily my dad will soon go to France so it won't be as bad as I thought.

Maybe I should work very hard so I can become rich and get a boy to love me for my money, since clearly no one will ever love me. I hate my life. I wish I could buy a gun so I could shoot my school. I wish I could kill everyone so they'll cry beneath me and beg for me to spare them.

I want to murder everyone so they'll look at me for once. So at least I will matter for once as I'd be the one to decide their fate. I'll obviously never do that by how weak I am, in addition I'll probably never buy a gun. I think I just want to be happy.

I'd like to have the courage to kill myself one day just so everyone could feel guilty about it. I feel like death would be the only way for me to get noticed. Even in that case, they'd only feel concerned one day and quickly go back to living their stupid lives. They'd think "oh she would've wanted us to to move on" probably.

I don't understand how fast it is for people to change faces. They become so different within the bat of an eye it's crazy. As if my life was nice enough for me to handle any more misery. My best friend told me to "not expect that guy to come back" or to beg him to. She said that it would ruin my image and dignity and that it would make me look like a cuck and dog to other people's eyes so they will take advantage of me. As if I even care. What people anyways? No one even wants to manipulate me. I don't care about being used or manipulated I just want attention and to be loved. At least to feel like I am.

It's so easy for her to say that because everyone likes her. If she loses someone she doesn't care because it's just a fish among billions of others. While I can barely have one fish without it slipping away. I envy her a lot. I wish I was as pretty as her and as popular as her. I feel like a nasty mutt next to her.

Life is very unfair! I wonder what's wrong with me and what about me people dislike so much! I guess I'll never know. I am probably not bound to be liked. I fail at absolutely everything!!!! It's difficult to accept it.

How do I become redpilled? I think it's the only way I can make it but I'm failing at that too.

[harryforvogue]

Part One | Chapter Seven: Aunt Geraldine

Bellefonte, Pennsylvania

June 1919

We only spend three weeks at home, preparing for our lengthy trip. We've bought enough summer clothes to last us and saved enough money. Now that school is over, I've received my final pay and we are comfortable enough with what we have.

Harry is especially vocal in how eager he is to get out of New York again. He's been restless ever since we arrived back home. Things have been awkward between us, but I feel as if he talks to me more about everyday things, and not only when necessary.

Aunt Geraldine is happy to welcome us. Harry tells me about her to keep me ready, and from what I can tell, she's very kind, and has been somewhat of a mother to him when his was absent with his father.

We begin our journey during the second week of June.

***

It doesn't take much to pique my interest, especially when we're visiting a place with the word countryside attached to it. A familiar feeling of longing returns as we travel by train, glancing out the window, daydreaming of the wet dew on my skin, the scent of freshly cut grass and gardens, and the warmth of a good home cooked meal by the fire with the throw over my body. The town passed by just a few minutes ago, a small area that showed a handful of people soaking in the sun as they walked with their loved ones, or cycled through the streets. Unlike New York, the people walk leisurely, in no rush to get to their destination. They stroll through, occasionally picking their heads up to glance at the noisy train barreling through. I feel apologetic for disrupting their peaceful walk.

France's countryside is as secluded as Pennsylvania's, though I'm interested to see how the two places differ. Surrounded by acres of green land, I roll the window down and stand up, sticking my head out with a hand on my hat to keep it from blowing away. The weather has been perfect, walking the line between too cold and too hot, the breeze flowing through my hair, causing a smile to spread on my face.

We're approaching a tunnel. I poke my head back in for a moment and then return it to the outside when we're clear, glancing as far as I can. I see green everywhere until I close my eyes and tilt my head back, breathing in the scent of clean grass and unpolluted air.

"You're having fun," I hear someone comment behind me. Harry sits across from me, shutting his book and tucking it away. Last I checked, he was asleep.

I slide back into my seat and fix my hair. "Reminds me of France."

He nods, watching my hands as I fix the strands, taking my hat off. The window is left open, making my efforts to fix my hair useless as the wind nearly blows us over. I tilt my head back once more, enjoying the breeze as it travels through my hair, my dress, and my mouth when I open it slightly.

"When I was small," I start, opening my eyes, letting my head rest back as I continue to gaze out the window, not bothering to tame my hair, "I used to be envious of all the workers my parents had who got to spend all day outside getting dirty with the other animals. They'd come home, knees deep in dirt on good days, begging someone to draw them a bath. But they'd never be complaining about their day." I smile. "I knew. I knew they liked their work. I wanted to enjoy my work, so I vowed to be a shepherd when I became older. I sound so stupid don't I? Just a rich girl who hated being rich."

Since my parents wanted their children to be educated, I was sent off, but I know that the outdoors is where I belong. Acres upon acres of real land, bumpy, twisty, paved and unpaved. It's all so perfect.

I glance back at him, picking my head back up. "I wish you got to see France."

"Well," Harry says dryly, expression turning sour. "I certainly saw France."

I shake my head, replying firmly, "No. That's not what I mean. I wish you got to see France when I was there. I could take you to see where I grew up and all the friends I had there. What you saw, that wasn't France."

"What was it then?"

"Not France," I say, looking back out the window at the light blue sky. "It's a shame you didn't see France for what it is."

"It is a shame," Harry agrees grimly, reopening his book.

I eye him, but he doesn't notice, so I bring my attention back to the high plains. Not a cloud in sight. A perfect day.

***

Bellefonte is quiet. We pass through the closest town full of busy people, but when we read Bellefonte, it's hushed, as if nobody lives there. The buildings are large, like monuments, all with Victorian designs. The taxi pulls up in front of Aunt Geraldine's estate. Her estate is gothic looking and quite frightening with its dark colors and sharp edges.

The owner stands outside to greet us, a thin woman with distinct features and kind eyes. Her arms immediately wrap around her nephew, pulling him into a hug so tight, his breath gets cut short, and his hands awkwardly pat her back. She grabs his face firmly and pulls him back, opening her mouth to yell at him (it seems), but she stops when her eyes land on me.

"Oh!" she exclaims, pushing her nephew away, leaving a confused look on his face. She hugs me with the same ferocity until a squeak is released from me, and she lets me go when she's satisfied. Her thin hands cup my face. "Oh, you're beautiful!"

Blushing, I duck my head and smile. "Thank you. It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. D'Avella."

Aunt Geraldine's eyes widen. "Mrs. D'Avella? Absolutely not! It's just Aunt Geraldine, yes?"

Red in the face, I nod, picking up my suitcase. Harry and I follow her into her colossal home, our eyes wandering the hallways we walk through, partially to admire, but also to remember our route so we won't get lost. Upon entering the main room, there's a twisted staircase, leading to the bedrooms, I assume. For now, however, Aunt Geraldine instructs us to put our bags down and wash up to get ready for dinner.

As I wander upstairs, I take in my surroundings and examine just where I am. A warm brown shade covers the walls and the majority of the fancy decorations, paintings and ornaments on the wall. Occasionally, I'll pass by a wall ruined with what looks like crayons, some more pigmented than the other, but no effort made to hide the scribbles.

The drawings must be done by a child and left unbothered by proud parents, showing off the scribbles as if they belong in a museum or art gallery for our viewing pleasure. A variety of colors splattered on the off white blank canvas. I make out two eyes and a mouth curved up ridiculously so, the lines nearly touching the eyes. Whoever has drawn this must have an amazing outlook on life, innocent and pure.

Harry peers at the scribbles when he catches me in the hallway. He sticks his hands in his pockets.

"Grace," he informs me. "Aunt Geraldine's niece."

I smile. "How old is she?"

He calculates in his head. "Should be turning 7 soon. Aunt Geraldine adopted her when her parents passed away."

"She must be the sweetest girl. Une belle fille."

After a brief pause, he turns around and gestures to the stairs. "Come. I'll show you the way."

Aunt Geraldine is a gentle lady until it comes to Harry. She makes him sit down and begins interrogating him immediately.

"Why did it take you so long to take up my invitation? I've been asking you to come for nearly a year now!" she demands, smacking his shoulder with her spoon.

"Well, I was in the war, wasn't I?" Harry protests. "It's not my fault I couldn't drop everything and come to you!"

Food is placed on the table in front of us. As Harry and Aunt Geraldine bicker, a small girl in a navy blue dress flutters by and sits down in front of Harry and I. She shyly gives me a smile.

"I washed my hands," she whispers to me.

"I did too," I whisper back.

"Annaliese, this is Grace, my niece. Harry, you remember her?" Aunt Geraldine says, taking a break from her sarcastic conversation with Harry. "Eric's daughter."

Harry's eyes visibly darken and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "Hi, Grace." He turns back to Aunt Geraldine. "I'm so sorry about Eric. I didn't know about him until a while back."

His aunt pauses and her lips get thinner. I look between them, unsure about what they're talking about. I look to Harry specifically for help and context but he doesn't look at me. His aunt reaches out and grasps Harry's hand and gives him a sad smile and a pat. I can see Harry's arm freeze. He doesn't like her touch at all.

"Yes," she says quietly. "We're still grieving. But, we have to keep our spirits high for Grace, right? Things happen. Not all life is guaranteed."

"I remember him so well," Harry says, slowly removing his hand from under hers as discreetly as possible. His hands are placed in his lap. "I miss him terribly."

"Yes," Aunt Gerladine repeats. "We like to remember him fondly. Good things only."

"Happy memories only," Grace mumbles around her forkful of food. I glance at her. She's very intelligent for her age. Her emotional intelligence is far better than mine.

"Exactly," Aunt Geraldine says brightly, patting Grace's head. "That's what we say in this house. We wouldn't want anyone to be sad about us. Eric wouldn't either. I can't be sad about him forever."

"I wish I'd come to see him before he passed though," Harry says, reaching for his own utensils. "I haven't seen him in years. I was excited to see him when we got here."

"Right, but we can't do anything now. Except have some dinner, so please help yourself. You too, Annaliese. Take as much as you want. Take it before Jared comes home because he'll wipe it all clean."

Grace giggles. I ask,"Is Jared your husband, Aunt Geraldine?"

"He is! He's on a trip right now, but he'll be back soon, probably tomorrow. Oh, he'll be so happy to see you both. You know what they'd say about you, right, Harry?"

"Yes."

"And what's that?" I ask curiously.

"They used to say I looked like Eric quite a bit." Harry's voice is quiet.

"We gave our only child all the love we had," Aunt Geraldine says with a sad smile. "But, like I said, what's happened has happened and we can only look up from here. I'm sure Eric is happy that you're here, Harry. Please eat."

It's almost 10 by the time we're nearly done with dinner. Dessert consists of a freshly baked cake. Chocolate, of course, because Grace tells me it's her favorite.

Grace, for a child who does not have parents, is a happy one. Talkative too once we learn more about her and her adventures riding horses and fishing with her uncle. She's very fond of Jared, it seems. I grow excited to meet him too. Both Aunt Geraldine and Jared are happy people. She speaks of him with love in her voice, I'm almost envious of it.

"Enough about us," Aunt Geraldine says during dessert. "Tell me about you guys. How did you meet? When did you get married?"

Since Harry has been doing a lot of the talking, I expect him to take this too, but he falls silent on the topic of his marriage with me. I speak for him instead.

"We met when I was in my final year of college. I was staying with his family because I'm very close with his sister and I couldn't afford the dormitories during winter break. It was supposed to just be that break, but then I spent summers at their house too."

"How romantic!" Aunt Geraldine says, clasping her hands together. "I do love a good romance story. Then what?"

"Then... Well, we were together for some time and then we got married."

"And you moved here. Why?"

"To avoid the war," Harry interjects dryly. "Which didn't work out all that well."

I hope I've dreamt that accusatory tone, but Harry avoids my eye contact when I turn to silent wonder what he means by that.

"Unfortunately," I stress, glancing back at Aunt Geraldine. "We weren't able to avoid it."

"I see," Aunt Geraldine says quietly. "Regardless of what's happened, you've come this far. And you're here and safe. That's all that matters."

"Yes," I answer. I clear my throat. "Sorry, which way is the bathroom?"

"Just up the stairs and to the right. Are you alright?"

I smile and nod. "Just have to wash my hands. Excuse me."

Harry can't be blaming me for his involvement in the war, I think as I wash my hands. I wasn't the one who took him to the enlisting site. I didn't force him to write his name. I was scared of it. I spent nights awake, frightened that they'd take the only good man in my life away from me.

Did he think if he stayed in England and pushed his luck, he'd be safe? I lean over the sink and catch my breath. I will not be accused of endangering him!

I return back downstairs until the watchful eye of Aunt Geraldine. However, Harry and I are both tired both from traveling and talking. Harry's the first one to push his chair back and thank his aunt for the delicious dinner.

"Which one is my room?"

Aunt Geraldine blinks in surprise but quickly recovers. "Pick any of the guest rooms on the first second floor."

"Thank you. Goodnight." He kisses her cheek and walks to the staircase.

With Harry out of sight, Aunt Geraldine's demeanor shifts, her shoulders falling with resignation, and the brave expression on her face crumbling. A stunt put up for Harry that has run its course, no longer needed now that he's retired to bed. She takes a deep inhale and then drops the ashes of her cigarette into the ashtray, moving her hair out of her face.

"So," she finally says, relaxing in her chair. "Annaliese. I assume you'll want a separate room."

I refuse the offer of a cigarette for myself. "Why do you think that?" The thought hasn't crossed my mind once.

"Well, given how he is." She vaguely gestures in the direction Harry went in. "I imagine he's not being very nice to you."

My eyebrows raise. "Er, nice?"

Aunt Geraldine nods, putting her cigarette out, letting it rest in the glass tray. With the facade dropped, her eyes are darker, and the lines in her face returning, her tight mouth pursed into a stern look. I'm relieved to know that I'm not the reason why Aunt Geraldine looks this way, more tired than before.

"I raised that child," she finally says tightly. "I know who he is and that man," she gestures to him again, chuckling dryly, "is a stranger. From the moment I looked at him, I knew." She shakes her head. "That's not my Harry."

"I don't know how you're doing it," she adds, reaching for another cigarette. "Being this brave. I feel like a phony trying to keep up my act."

"Harry believes you," I tell her. "It seems like you've convinced him."

"So who is convincing him that he's alright? Look at him. Jesus," she mutters, inhaling. "What did they do to my child?"

Suddenly wanting to clear my name, I sit up and say, "I've been trying to get through to him. It's not as if I've given up on him."

"Annaliese," Aunt Geraldine says quietly, reaching over and taking my hand softly. "I don't mean you. You do nothing but make him happy, I can tell. I'm not blaming you."

"Happy?" I say wryly. "Where do you see happiness on his face?"

Aunt Geraldine considers this. "Safety then. I saw it when you left to go to the bathroom. The panic in his eyes, Annaliese, until you returned. It was all transparent. But then again, safety isn't the only reason one marries. How long has he been back?"

"Almost 7 months."

"Has he gotten better?"

"I don't know," I admit, recalling the past few months. "We haven't spent much time together. I go to work and he doesn't. If we talk, I'm doing most of the talking. He doesn't want to talk to me."

"That can't be true."

"It is." The conversation we had at the hotel in Atlantic City returns to me. "It is, I'm afraid."

"Does he get nightmares?"

"I don't know. If he has them, he keeps to himself. I don't sleep with him." I sharply inhale. "God, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be complaining about him like this. I love him, I promise I do. It's just been a little stressful for us both. I don't mean to make it seem like it's all me. I know he's having it worse."

Aunt Geraldine pats my hand again as I swallow the lump in my throat and demand my eyes not to cry. "You need to rest, Annaliese. There's a guest room right next door to where Harry's room is. Everything is set up there."

"Thank you for letting us stay here," I tell her sincerely. "I do love your nephew very much. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, child. Grace, will you take her to the guest room?"

I follow the blonde headed girl to the room, gently running my hand over her head to thank her.

The door is already ajar. I slip in quietly. In the comfort of the darkness, my tears cannot stop falling, my breath shaky and broken as I cry into my hands, picturing Harry's face. Harry's school uniform. The child he used to be running around with his aunt, cheeks dirty from the mud, hair in a disarray, knees scraped from his adventures outside. A stranger, Aunt Geraldine had said. A stranger in her house, disguised as her nephew.

"Annaliese?"

I glance up sharply and hurry to wipe my face. A large figure creaks the bed as it moves. "Je suis désolée! I thought this was my room."

Harry sits up, letting the white covers draping his bare body fall to his waist. "Christ, are you crying?"

"I got the wrong room. Merde. I'm sorry I woke you up." I hurriedly reach for the door and tumble out.

The hallway light falls into his eyes and he raises a hand to cover his squinted eyes. "Annaliese. Hold on--"

"Goodnight."

I walk to the room beside him and shut the door behind me. I hesitate for a second before locking the door as well.

[awynter]

“As do I. I would’ve very much liked having you as a friend.” She smiled despite the swelling pain in her heart. He would be a wonderful friend to anyone who actually deserved his kindness. As pained as she was, Anne knew that she had brought this upon herself. If she hadn’t been so loose-lipped and careless with her words, she wouldn’t be in the position. She wouldn't be here, in London, using a fake name and living a fake life. If she'd learned to be mindful with her words, she wouldn't have met Ben in the first place.

Why are you telling me this? She blinked at him. It was a good question, one that Anne wasn't entirely sure of herself. "Because I know the power of words. And I didn't want you to think I was disgusted by you, or to think lesser of yourself because of what I said. I did not want to have my careless words echo in your mind and stand in the way of your happiness. That's all. No pretense nor underlying objectives, I swear. I do not expect reciprocation of any kind, I just wish to tend to any wounds before they're allowed to fester, or scar."

“Oh, I have no doubts on the matter.” At his mention of Frances and her plans, Anne sputters a gentle laugh, the gesture feeling foreign amidst the tears. How was he able to remain so kind and stoic while her own heart waged a war of its own beneath her ribcage? He was a soldier, she supposed. She did not know the extents of what he'd witnessed, but surely the empty threats of a puny governess would not be enough to take him down. He had said it himself, he was not threatened by her. How could he be? Even George hadn't been afraid of her when she was swinging a blade wildly to protect herself. Even armed, she stood no real threat to anyone other than herself. The fact eased her mind, to know that she may not have caused as much damage as she thought, but it made her heart sink even further.

“You're working on the assumption that the girls aren’t in there fighting about who should ought to kiss you." As a futile attempt at slipping back into their friendly banter, Anne dares to joke. "But, I should warn you, I am still in charge of these girls. I would hate to have to scold you for ungentlemanly behavior.”

“Of course. I’m sure the girls would love spending time around someone that doesn’t know all their jokes and stories already. And Lady Sarah has long since outgrown the need for my teachings, so I’m sure there’s much you could teach her. And if you wish to know anything about them, I'm happy to help. I could certainly offer some helpful tips on courting Lady Sarah. Though I cannot say the same for Daisy. Her sisters, perhaps, would be a better choice.” And that was only if the girls didn't find out who Ben's pupil happened to be. Once upon a time, Sarah had been eager to woo a Bridgerton, with her sights set on the only unmarried ones at the time--including young Gregory, who was no doubt closer to Sarah's age than most of the greedy men who dared to court her.

“As for shooting or budgeting, you would have to take those matters up with Lord Pleinsworth. If he ever dared to leave the safety of the countryside, that is. I admit I've never met the man. He chose to stay behind as the ladies came to London for the social season.”

Anne winced as she leaned over, her voice lowering to a secretive whisper. “Though, I do suggest keeping the topic of shooting to a minimum for Sarah or Lady Pleinsworth. The family has some less than glittering opinions on guns. Not after what happened with…" Ann shook her head. "Nevermind. I merely urge you to proceed with caution if shooting is a topic you expect to breach.”

He didn’t need to know about the family's dark secrets, and it wasn’t her place to tell anyhow. If he wanted to teach the girls to shoot, it would be his own responsibility to reap the consequences of such an uneducated choice. In truth, Anne wasn’t sure how Sarah would react to such a thing, but she knew that Lady Pleinsworth would certainly have some stern opinions on the matter. After all, not too long ago a beloved member of their family had met an unfortunate fate as a result of a duel. To think the woman would allow a stranger to put her daughters at risk of the same fate was unlikely.

Anne pulled herself to her feet, resting one hand against the wall for support. She wasn't quite ready to stroll back into the drawing room, but she was at least determined to meet him eye to eye one last time. "I wish you all the happiness in the world, Mister Tallmadge." Sticking out her hand, she offered a weak smile, though one far more sincere than any of the ones she'd offered in the last few minutes. "And I wish you luck on your romantic endeavors."

It was difficult to stay angry with Anne when she was like this. Her voice was low and plaintive, her head bowed and her posture frail. “I wont blame you if you do not wish to forgive me, the things I said were unforgivable.”

"No man is above forgiveness," Benjamin softly offered. "If you are contrite, then I accept...I just wish we'd never come to blows in the first place."

Anne gave a rather unladylike swipe of her nose, then lifted her mournful, tormented eyes to his. His stomach gave a few agonizing flip-flops and he looked away again, twisting the fabric along his cuffed sleeves.

“Frances is quite taken with you. As are Lady Sarah and Miss Daisy,” Anne continued.

"And I them," Benjamin reassured. "After all this time of tutoring young Gregory, I've realized I almost forgot what it's like to have delicate company, too." He chuckled. "Not that those girls couldn't throw a javelin or express themselves through archery, of course. Especially Frances. She might even prove herself far more spirited than Gregory."

Despite his attempts at levity, there was still a clear pall in the air. Anne hesitated, her gaze still glassy with sorrow, before she reached out and gingerly touched his arm. Benjamin flinched at the contact, but he didn't pull away.

“I lied," she whispered. "About wanting to kiss you. About despising you.”

The lump returned to Benjamin's throat and he swallowed. "Why are you telling me this?" he weakly asked. "Miss Wynter, even if I felt the same way and wished to return your affections..."

"You are a lovely person, a wonderful man, and I’m sure Daisy and Sarah will learn to love you for it, too," she cut in. "So, Ben, if you have any softness in left your heart for me, please be kind to them. They’re good girls, with good hearts. Do not let my foolish mistakes affect your choices.”

Rolling his lips inward, Benjamin offered a stilted nod. "I don't hold you in any sort of ill regard," he promised. "You may be a willful pain in the arse, yes, but that's no fault of the girls." Here, his expression softened and he chuckled, gently nudging her with his elbow. "Chin up, all right? It's not the end of the world. Believe me: I've been dealt far worse insults than this."

He hadn't, truthfully, but Benjamin didn't wish to dwell upon the searing pain she'd branded across his heart that night. Worthless; unlovable; monstrous -- such words had only danced across his subconscious during the darkest, most despairing nights spent in solitude. It was his first time ever feeling like a ghost amongst other people.

Anne sniffled, drawing in a deep breath. She announced her plans and Benjamin nodded.

"Very well," he agreed. "But just so you know, I think Miss Pleinsworth had every intention of making us 'kiss and makeup.' I'm not sure that Sarah fits the bill...regardless of how pretty she is." Nudging Anne again, he sighed before making an effort to rise up off the floor. "Nevertheless, I really should return to her. It would be rude if I didn't at least say goodbye."

Keeping his hat tucked underneath his arm, Benjamin looked in between Anne's face and the well-polished tiling. "I don't mean to encroach, but...if the girls are in need of more masculine studies, such as learning to shoot or budgeting books, I could certainly help. And especially for Lady Sarah, since she's undoubtedly hoping to marry and run a household in the not-so-distant future."

[sevensistersofsussex]

5 Favorite & Least favorite characters of The Orginals and why?

Oh dear anon.

I do wish I could give you a real answer on this, but I haven't actually seen The Originals. The first season, but that's it. I could give you better answers about The Vampire Diaries (favorite and least favorite characters, ships, friendships etc.) if you wanted but I can do my best based on like 20 episodes of watching season one. And with the caveat that maybe some of what I liked or didn't like would change with the coming seasons.

Favorite (in no order)

Davina - Can't blame her for how she acted during the sacrifice. I mean, I doubt she thought it would be so violent. I feel like a lot was withheld from her and the rest of the Harvest girls in general. She's young and naïve and has this rebellious streak where she doesn't seem to enjoy being told what to do. Good for her.

Rebekah - Not shocked that she brought Mikael to NOLA, shocked that Klaus gave his approval for her love life only after she made a move against him. Very bold and honestly, I would have supported her doubling down on her decision. Rebekah deserves to run NOLA.

Thierry - Idk. I just love his whole forbidden romance vibe with Katie at odds with his deep friendship with Marcel. I do wonder what he felt about the witches and how he justified his actions against them to Katie or maybe she wasn't okay with the Harvest either? Who knows. I just wish those two had left NOLA together to live their pretty people lives out somewhere in France.

Celeste - I get it, she's the villain. But honestly, love how deeply committed she was to her vendetta. That line she delivers to Elijah about how every woman he falls in love with from now on he has to wonder if it's her. Sick. I do love that for her. It is very Rumors album and I just have to clap at the level of commitment to ruining the Mikaelsons. And she could have done it to if it wasn't for those meddling kids! (Monique).

Sophie Deveraux - She just reminds me so much of Jenna. I was rooting for her to make it out of town! Trying to do what she thinks is the right thing and paying for it. She should have been around longer! It also would have been interesting to have her around as a love interest after Rebekah leaves.

Least Favorite (in no order)

Monique - Honestly, just the whole killing your aunt because you are a zealot kills my vibes. And then listing her as things you lost to the coven? Ma'am, you did that! Own it! Your mom, yes. Your aunt, no. Move on. The actress does a great job with that blank, nothing behind the eyes zealot thing. Kudos. It just feels like they wrote her character to fill in whatever they needed her to fill in, ya know?

Hayley - I just....she just...seems like such a different character than the one we got in TVD? Like when she made an impassioned plea on the life of innocents, I snort laughed. This from the same girl who (less than 6 months prior?) had bonded, trained and ultimately led to the slaughter 12 hybrids and then had sex with the man who did it? Idk...I guess I just thought she'd be way more ruthless and unfeeling about the causalities on her way to what she wants. Was the implication that impending motherhood softened her? Cause it shouldn't have. Imo, it should have hardened her. Amplified her cruel streak. That would have been interesting.

Cami - I almost hate to put her here cause I think she's got interesting stuff you know? Solving the mystery of her brother and dealing with her family's long history of complicity in the city. All very cool. But towards the end of season 1 I was just, not into her? Her morality seems to fluctuate and I'm just confused. Maybe the theme here is that Julie & Co don't write female characters with a perspective in mind, but rather what the male characters need from them?

Oliver - Honestly how cold blooded do you need to be to kill your old friend and then claim it was for the good of the pack? Another character that I'm just confused about what his motivation and perspective were. Working with the witches against Rebekah and Hayley (and by association his bff Jackson)? And also plotting against his own people to stage a coupe against said bff which idk about TVDU werewolves in a pack but I feel like the fight for alpha would be to the death and then what about your bestie? Huh! What about your bestie Ollie? Also he did my girl Rebekah dirty.

Marcel - I am sure this would change! Cause I adore him, truly. But why the hell did Rebekah leave town and he's all "It's my city" like he's Batman? The writers couldn't come up with a better reason why, after all this time, he finally gets the girl and he says no thanks I think I'll just stay here in this warehouse and get my best friend killed. Couldn't possibly rule a city in a different part of the country with my hot vampire wife! I am confused and a little salty about that so please forgive my bias. Was it really just the city? I know it all depended on the actors but come on! Give the man a better reason to deny the love of his life! It's giving me Season 3 Stefan "Go to Denver to resolve your feelings about my brother" Salvatore vibes.

[talesofthepeculiar]

Horace! I wish to see the tiny sleepy boy

- Unlike most Peculiars, he knew he was Peculiar before he was taken by Miss Peregrine.

- That's because his hometown of Oddfordshire has a long Peculiar history, and he even has peculiar family members way back in generations who also left to loops.

- Because of this, his family was ecstatic when they learned of his prophetic dreams, even though his discovery of them was very scary for him.

- They taught him that one day, ymbrynes were going to take him to loops where he can practice and use his peculiarity openly, and he would be in a safe place away from dangers.

- His prophetic dreams became noticeable to him, when things he witnessed in his dreams happened in real life the next day.

- At first it was an odd deja vu feeling, but the more it happened the more distressed he became, especially about tragic events.

- One night he had a dream about meeting Miss Peregrine, and he suddenly was not as terrified. His great, great, great, great Uncle was peculiar and sent letters back to home from his loop, so Horace knew what that dream meant for him.

- They didn't know when it would happen, so his family prepared him for as much of life away from them as they could. It was a bit of a weird feeling really. Being spoiled, but still being kept at arms length.

- Truthfully, it made Horace a little sad. But he understood.

- His family was insanely wealthy from all areas. His father brought in old money, and most of his family was from England. He had family in France, who ran a lucrative business, and family in Northern Italy who also worked in big industry. - He was taught to read and write, speak proficient French and Italian, and play several instruments including Piano and Violin. His parents crammed a lot of talent into their over-achieving son. - Clothing and sewing was the only choice he really made for himself, and the only hobby that wasn't forced onto him by his parents. He finds it incredibly relaxing. - One of his favourite things about the loop was that he got to dress however he wanted, including dresses which he sewed for himself and wore often once he was in the loop! - He also enjoys fixing peoples clothes and making new clothes for everyone in the loop too, and does it often. He stared with Fiona, who used to sew the patches on her own dress before he insisted he sewed them himself. Her stitches needed a lot of work...and his lasted a lot longer, so after awhile she stopped complaining about it. - He also sews all of the patches onto the knees of Victor's pants, who always ends up ripping them playing football and wrestling. - Horace bruises very easily, which he likes to remind the boys when he tries to rough house with him too much. - He hates being grouped in with the little ones like Claire and Olive, he tries very hard to look and act like the older boys. He absolutely hates it when he's babied by them even though they treat Enoch like one of the older boys.

[soulcheri]

"Shh." She places her finger over his lips to silence him. She doesn't want to talk about the video. At the time, she felt really betrayed that he recorded it without her permission. But, in all this time.... had Tyler truly wanted to hurt her with it, he could have. Instead he kept it to himself. Or so... she thinks? She never really asked him where it ended up after she talked him into deleting the copy he had on his phone. Brooke had to convince him that if he deleted the video, she would come back to him. He did but, she didn't. She left right after. Though, she always suspected someone as tech savvy as Tyler would've made a copy and hidden it somewhere.

"I forgive you for the video." She only hopes he forgives her everything that came afterward. "I know why you did it. At the time... I didn't understand because I was so worried about Jake finding out about us and hating me for what we did that I shifted all of the blame on you. That wasn't fair though. When I was just as much involved in it as you were."

As much good history as they had, there was some bad mixed in there too. They both did things to each other they weren't exactly proud of. Brooke icing him out was a big one for her. She didn't realize how much she truly loved him until she thought he died. Something in her died, too. The love, the excitement, the feeling of being alive.... it went away when he did. She never told him that. They never really talked about life much after Ghostface attacked him. For Brooke, she didn't because she was ashamed. For him? She just assumed reliving the memories would be too triggering or traumatic.

Looking into his eyes, Brooke could see the shift happen. The remorse he felt back then, the love he feels now. She likes seeing the latter more. "I agree though. It's exciting getting to sneak around with you. Working you up until you explode. I think you're much better at it than me though." Or maybe, she just has more people surrounding her to worry about catching them. Jake.... Quinn.... now, Gage. Tyler had Lo once but, he broke things off with her as soon as they started fooling around. So he didn't really have to sneak around too much.

While Tyler's fingers comb through her blonde hair, Brooke feels herself falling into a state of complete relaxation. She could fall asleep like this, with him inside of her... his hands in her hair.... his eyes every so often taking her in.

"It's funny you say that." Not in a ha ha sort of way but, in an ironic kind. Because Brooke would have to agree. One of her favorite moments was her first time. There was something about Tyler in France that made Brooke fall harder than she ever thought possible. Rather than use her deflowering as a chance to inflate his own ego or add another notch to his bedpost, Tyler actually took care of her. He didn't make her feel inferior just because she had way less experience. He took his time, was gentle, walked her through what guys liked and made her feel confident even though she was anything but. If it weren't for Tyler, Brooke truly believes she would not know how to fuck. He taught her how. And sometimes, she bets he probably wishes he didn't. Especially when Brooke used those skills elsewhere. Not that, sex with anyone else has ever compared. It hasn't. And she's certain it never will.

"I didn't realize you liked me that way before any of that happened. So, you showing interest was a shock to me but a welcomed one. Since I wanted you too. Actually, it's funny... because Riley and I both had obscene crushes on you for awhile. It's kind of embarrassing when I look back at it now," she laughs. "Because I would be on cloud nine for days after you just looked at me in the hall or even said hi." Which, if anyone knew him back then was a big deal. Tyler was broody and Brooke and Riley were convinced he hated everyone. But really, he was just guarded. And mysterious. He needed someone to come in and knock down some of his walls in order to get to the real Tyler. The one Brooke was laying next to now. Who was vulnerable, and open, and soft.

"The tattoos were fun too, though." And he was right. They were permanent. Brooke had never marked her body for anyone else. Well... besides Jake and Isadora. The 11 on her side, under her arm was a tribute to her and Jake's tradition of making wishes at 11:11. And the flame on her hip was a tribute to her and Isadora being twinflames. Both were more innocent. Whereas... Tyler's had a lot more meaning. Brooke got it because she wanted to feel connected to him. She wanted a symbol that would tell everyone he was hers, and she was his. Even if they couldn't do that publicly. "We should get more together...." Brooke notices he has. Below the moon he originally got for her, there was a wolf howling at it. He told her once, he got it because he missed her. The wolf was him howling for her to come home. "Maybe you could get my name..." she teases, as her fingers crawl between their pelvises. She stops just at a patch of skin right above his dick, "... right here. So, the next girl who tries to get you naked knows you're mine and to leave you alone." Not that there better be a next girl.

She wasn't the only one who was sore. It amazes even Tyler that his dick could still get hard. After they left Jake's party, he didn't think he would have sex again for at least a week. His balls were aching, his groin was pulled, and his cock felt beaten to death. Like he pushed it as far as it could go and the muscle was exhausted. Then one cute or dirty text from Brooke, and he was hard again. She was like a drug to him but, one he would never go to rehab for. He would let her destroy everything in his life just as long as he could end his nights beside her.

"I love you so much," the sight of her tears makes his heart swell. He knows they're happy tears, not ones of discomfort or sadness. Although...she might be a little uncomfortable as he sinks himself all the way until their hips were pressed together. He doesn't bother thrusting or pulling out and going back in, he just stays there buried in her warmth.

A ridiculous smile dances across his lips when she mentions his physique being bigger and stronger than it was last summer. They weren't weight-lifting in rehab. Their exercises were much lighter and had more to do with bettering the mind. Tyler's was more broken than anyone's so he spent most of his hours in therapy instead of the gym. Now that he was with the Vipers, he was whaling on a punching bag every day. Mostly because he was angry. "I missed you a lot. So I spent a lot of time in Eli's gym. It's good for my anger issues." He laughs above her mouth and uses his thumbs to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ears. "You're so beautiful." He leans in and kisses her lips before readjusting himself inside her. The small movement causes him to twitch.

"Yeah I remember that party." It was one of the nights Tyler couldn't come with her. He already moved to the southside and everyone hated him. She was still dating Jake at the time and they were meant to go together. That was the night Brooke broke their one rule. She wasn't supposed to have sex with anyone else but she did. Tyler tried to be understanding given their situation but he was still hurt. "Brooke, that's a real sex dungeon. Eli was into some kinky shit." He laughs and then buries his smile against her shoulder. But honestly, he wouldn't be opposed to using it with Brooke. There were things in there you could only find at some members-only sex shop. "We were taking a lot of ecstasy back then. I know for me, it made things more intense. But my thoughts were never altered. Everything we did together, it was real for me." The only thing he regrets, before everything else went to shit, was recording her without her permission. "I'm still sorry I made that video. I never wanted to hurt you."

Tyler's eyes were a lighter shade of hazel as he looks up from her shoulder and presses a kiss on the side of her neck. His hips were moving but only slightly, just enough to keep him from going flaccid. "I always wanted to spend more nights here. The idea of getting caught by your parents always excited me. I know its bad but, it's hot watching you do everything in your power to not make a sound. It's a fun challenge watching you get so overwhelmed and overstimulated." he sighs quietly and then begins brushing his fingers through her hair.

"My favorite memory of us?" There were so many, how could he choose one as his favorite? "Can I choose two? There's a tie." he continues stroking her hair while his gaze drifts off to the memory of France. "Taking your virginity. I wanted you for a long time. To finally get you, it was the best feeling ever." The second was getting tattoos. He'll never see the moon the same way again. "That's tied with us getting tattoos. I think I knew then that you really liked me. It solidified it. Because why else would you do something so permanent?" He had many tattoos but, every single one of them matters. You don't get a tattoo for a fling. "What's yours?"

[alexiaugustin]

good morning mutuals and everyone else on tumblr who is cool and made my year! this is gonna be my mutuals appreciation post 2020 because if anything good happened this year then it's getting to know all of you guys so there's that. i love you all so so sooo much and always love to see y'all and your gif sets / memes / crack posts /rants / edits and so on and so forth on my dash. you made this year beautiful and i just wanna thank u for that!💘💘 (also im sorry if the picture above activates anyone's fight response i just thought that it would fit if i went back to where it all started)

@engelkeijsers mare my love i don't even have words to describe how much i love you and am happy to have you in my life. i consider you one of my closest friends by now and that's why i always message you whenever exciting shit happens in my life (or whenever shit goes down that ofc depends🤪). our phone calls were so fucking funny and i loved talking to you sooo much i can't wait to meet you in real life one day!!💖 please feel hugged you're such a beautiful human.

@dreamaur ann my beloved mutual i love you from the bottom of my heart and just wanna thank you for being the cute bitch that u are who always remembers our mutuals anniversary like....🥺🥺 i just love that we always watch and read and stan the same things like what kind of soulmutuals behavior is this?. can't wait for s&b to air so we can always freak out about kaz and inej and everyone else together. i'm kissing your cheek and wish you the absolute best for 2021 because u deserve the best😽

@sotorubio silja i love you and your blog so much you just have such a galaxy brain and you're so eloquent and your blog is one of the few that i check on regularly because i don't wanna miss a single post you make. here's a fun fact before i properly got to know you i thought that you were sooo intimating i don't even know why and then we started talking at some point and i was like "hold on a second they are SO lovely and warm actually and not intimating at all hdhdh" as you might have figured out by now i always love talking to you about skames or rant about 13rw and everything else. i just love u!!!🧡

@helmtaryn aurore you are probably the first person who ever started talking to me on here and so it all began and we always talked abt skam france before s6 started and during and you're just such a wonderful person!! thank you for always being there for me and helping me with my french homework i truly cannot thank you enough for that because you're constantly saving my ass jdhd. you're just so fun to talk to and such a talented gif maker like... for real your gif sets always knock me out and you're always so original in what you gif🥺❣

@geminibf i know i've told you that before but your blog is my comfort blog on here literally just seeing your posts on my dash always makes my day and you're one of the most beautiful ppl i've ever known like how do you even manage to do that🥺💘 plus you're sooo talented at this point im convinced that there's absolutely nothing that you cannot do so yeah i have no idea where this sentence is going but i guess what im trying to tell u is that i love u and im so happy to be ur friend

@alterlovex niiiii❣❣❣ you're not even like a tumblr mutual you're like my tumblr sister (figure out what the hell this is supposed to mean jdjd) and you were one of the first people who hyped my stupid posts up and it always made me go 🥺😭. i started following you despite the fact that u had a wtfock icon (honorary) and i absolutely never regretted it. you're so beautiful and warm and so is your blog and i will try to talk more to u again in 2021. im virtually sending you so many flowers🌷🌻🌸💐

@jorgecrespo you're just the coolest bitch alive. i followed you for your skam rankings and stayed for your whole entire personality. every post you make truly just slaps, you never miss, and i relate to you so much jdjd. the way you answer anon messages will forever be my favorite thing about your blog and just the way you talk in general like without even seeing your url i always know when it's you who wrote a post. i love you❕❕💖

@jusdekiwi you and aurore are the reason why french people deserve rights, you are such a lovely and genuine person and i absolutely love you and your chill vibes on your blog. also thank you for helping me out with my french homework thingy once like. thank you so so much for being so lovely and taking your time julia!🌻

@suburbanenigma carmen i love you and all of your posts and just the vibes on your blog!!! also omfg your riverdale side blog always makes me laugh soo much i truly cannot wait for s5 to air so we can make fun of it together because i will live blog the shit out of it too!! you're just one of the coolest bitches ever i don't know how else to say it. i love you and cant wait to talk to you more next year. you're such a blessing for this hellsite🦋✨

@sundaymorninghangover julian you are one of my oldest friends on here and i've loved you ever since i found your blog and figured out that u were a part of the having taste club (skames fandom) too!! you're so chill!!! i love your brain!! i love your posts!!! and most importantly i love you. please keep on blessing my dash with your cool posts because they are definitely appreciated and loved in this house. also i miss your frog icon (please don't hit me in case it wasn't a frog) it just spoke volumes about your vibes but i love ur new one too!! still associate the purple heart with you so here it is 💜💜

@lesbeanfatou clara you simply are an angel. you used to have a nora grace icon and i went: that's it, she's the one, she has taste im gonna follow!! and look it was one of the best decisions ever. you're my favorite chaotic n cool mosquito hater and i just love you so much and you made my year beautiful!! thank you for always listening to me when i came into your inbox to have a break down (positive or negative) over the we feel in love in october girl and thank you for teaching me how make edits!!!💐💘

@aoixe you're one of my favorite skamfr hate blogs and certain men hate blogs (if u know u know) i always love talking and ranting with you and am so glad that we're sometimes just dming!! you're vibes are so cool a d you seem like such a chill person i love you and wish you all the best for 2021!!❣❣

@fatoudixon ana i love you and your blog so so much and especially your druck reaction videos on youtube!! you seem like such a genuine and beautiful person and even though we're not talking much please just know that im always happy to see you on my dash. happy new year to you!!💘💘

@cash-queens sam🥺 you're so sweet and kind this hell site truly doesn't even deserve you but we all love that you're here anyway!! i would protect you with my life and i hope that we will get to talk more in 2021 because you're such a lovely person and for now im just gonna wish u a happy new year✨

@avaceleste sophiaaa💌 you've been here ever since the very beginning of skamfr season 6 and i always love talking to you and long live our eliola jokes, you were probably the person i started this cult with so here is our eliola emoji starterpack one more time in 2020 💏🌧🎬

@hashtag-ohboy-nicetry i have no idea whose side blog this was but the url alone made my entire year🤭🤞

@ random love anon❤ i love you and hope that 2021 will be a good year for you because you absolutely deserve it!!! wishing u nothing but the best i always love to see you around!💐💘

all the other amazing blogs i love and am always happy to see on my dash (doesn't matter if we're mutuals or not)

@floraflorenzi / @bi-kieu-my / @gumptin / @thegirlnooneknows5 / @littleweirdoss / @sohereisthisasshole / @noramachwtz / @nori-in-pink / @ayellowcurtain / @mailinrichter / @ijzermanora / @fudgetunblr / @lesbianfatous / @norgestan / @cfgc / @avaspereira / @theflowerisblue / @smblmn / @jon-astronaut / @amiraamore / @parelmoer / @stqrz 💘❣💐🦋💌🌸

i wish all of you a very happy new year and thank you for all of your gifs, posts, translations, fanfics & edits you all truly make this place beautiful❕💘

[anewbeginningagain]

Did you watch the new on edge episode? I just…. Like, why do I need to keep seeing forced dinner dates between these people? What do I care? They didn’t show anything about the competition in Italy. They could have done so many great things with this series, but it’s starting to feel like the housewives of Beverly Hills. You wouldn’t even notice the skating, all we see is them at a cafe or in a restaurant talking about how much they love each other. I don’t care about their fake friendships that they will all forget about once they retire. I wish they stopped with this. It’s frustrating. The only thing I appreciated was when Madison called the scoring ironically “non-biased at all”, referred to PC’s huge score and them being so many points behind. At least it makes me understand they are not blind and even they know that PC are undeservedly overscored. I also loved Madison’s mom calling out the judges. Those were the only real moments I saw in those ten minutes. What a waste of money and time this series is. I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, but after so many episodes, it’s clear they road they are taking. The skating wasn’t a priority.

I just had time to watch it. I found Marie France referring to P/C and H/D as their "two top teams" really interesting. I like that H/D's mindset seems to be that they are comparable to P/C and not to the rest of the field, in a world where the scoring was correct that would be the case, but it's unfortunate that they judges don't view them like that.

I have to agree with them, the 13 points gap between P/C and H/D in Italy was shameful, they had less than a point BV difference in both programs combined so once again it's all GOEs and PCS. Madi's mom telling them they were "phenomenally underscored" and that it was a "travesty" was also 100% correct. Mistake on the choreo lift aside, they should have been 2-3 points behind P/C, not fucking 13 points. These are the moments where I truly hate the sport.

I actually felt like this episode was much better, it was 8 minutes that were skating related out of 11, so that's an improvement. I do dislike the 3 minutes at the end of the love story between P/C and H/D which as I always said, that friendship is genuine but I doubt P/C would have handled it well if H/D started beating them. But I definitely would go as far as calling it part of the RHWO franchise...

I don't think that the skating is not a priority, I just think they lean heavily into the personal aspect of the show and that's unfortunate. At least the dinner between P/C and H/D wasn't as cringe worthy as the rest we've gotten, but it was only because both Madi and Zach seem like funny people to hang out with and I think they are also the most genuine team on the show, and the only one to be honest about their desires and their mistakes. I just wish the universe will award them an Olympic medal.

[nolabballgirl]

I think that druck did a good job with the dyscalculia plot and I think the actress who plays Fatou is great, but I wasn't invested in the love story, nor the very forced maike-ismail/symbolism-relationship and I was unmoved by the cash queens drama - absolutely neutral on it. It just seems that a lot of ppl love the season bc they see their rep (wlw, black/Viet-Asian characters etc) more than any other factors and that would result in ppl losing a high degree of objectivity.

hi, Anon! thanks for your ask! so you are definitely entitled to your opinion about fatou’s season, and if you didn’t vibe with it, no worries. but i have to disagree with you about folks losing a lack of objectivity with this season because they see their representation. for example, i’ve read many posts from the same commentators who loved/enjoyed fatou’s season but actively disliked/hated skam france’s imane and lola seasons (also black main; wlw with asian rep).

likewise, i’m super, super Muslim but i have pretty much hated every single sana season that’s ever existed. so it’s not just the presence of these types of characters, but the way in which their stories are told.

now i’ve watched every season of skam OG and almost every single season of all the skam remakes (not all of skam italia). in all these years, there are only a handful of seasons period that have a POC main, and they are all mostly terrible seasons. (while i liked the character of skam nl’s liv a lot, her season was not the best noorhelm retelling and it was pretty colorblind). so fatou’s season was one of the first seasons headlined by a POC main that i’ve felt was objectively good, and that counts for a lot in my book.

let me touch briefly on some of the specific storylines you raised:

love story - i appreciated that kieu my was a very real, lived in character. she did not fall into the tropey manic pixie dream girl; problematic bad boy; etc. depictions we see routinely with a lot of the other skamverse love interests. and i thought she and fatou had great chemistry and both had parallel development over this season.

ismail/maike - so i thought this storyline was pretty innocuous and didn’t take up too much space. i’m a sucker for symbolism (Evak’s biblical themes; Crisana’s dangerous liaisons themes), so i didn’t mind it. i was more interested in this as tackling the bullying themes for a future ava season.

cashqueens - finally, i have to give fatou’s season extra points for doing what every other remake was too scared to do, and that’s having it’s girlsquad have a frank discussion about racism and microaggressions. i have been waiting years for that sana/vilde confrontation, but rather it’s the sana who always steps up and is the much better friend to the girls than the girls are to her. yes, i wish the reconciliation happened earlier in the season, but i have to give props to druck for tackling the storyline at all. and for going into all the various forms of racism and macro/microaggressions the characters face.

[diamondnoble]

" you would be guessing correctly, yes. it was my choice. " it didn't take but a moment for rose to realize — he was angry. rightfully so, and she would not fault him for that. the minister pursed her lips, unsure what she should say. the truth, of course, but the truth wasn't as simple as that. it was complicated, just like she and maceon always were. she cursed that man for the turmoil he brought to her life, but knew she'd never have it another way.

" would you like the short or the long version? " she asked, moving to placed her candle down on an side table, as she sat on the velvet lined couch beside it. then, she put a hand up towards him, changing her mind about the question. " long version, perhaps you'll find forgiveness for me if you hear it all. i do not wish for you to be mad at me, leon, if you believe none of this then please — believe that. " though, she almost doubted he would. what she did was wrong, and rose had known that this entire year. she felt guilty for how she had left things between them. they had begun to find an understanding. she had begun to find something akin to a relationship with leon before everything.

the brunette smoothed out her skirts, setting the book down beside her before beginning, " twenty-one years ago, when i still lived at home in france, the bonaparte royals came to visit the orléans. " reciting her own past like a history book was strange, but it was important. if she had a chance at making him understand, she had to start there. " i was new to france's court, i was only nineteen . . when i met him. " her eyes never left leon as she spoke, wanting to see how he took every word she said. " the crown prince of spain, maceon bonaparte. " rose hadn't spoken maceon's full, real name, in years. "i played hard to get, he was the top of spanish royalty and what was i? a nobleman's daughter, nobody. "

a pause, before she continued. "— but eventually i fell, so hard. he took me back to spain with him, promised me he would make me queen. promised me everything a crown prince would have to offer. " the memories were happy, but as she told her tale, they began to grow bitter. she hated thinking about how much time had been wasted because of maceon's father. " his father did not approve of me. i wasn't a good marriage, i wasn't right for his son. he faked leaving me for his father's approval — but i was always there, behind his shoulder like a ghost. i even sabotaged a few marriage prospects he had. with his approval, of course. maceon was mine, whether his father liked it or not and it was only a matter of time before we could marry and stop the secrets. " her distain for the former spanish king was clear in her tone and her eyes.

" — and then he died. " the minister spat out the word, biting her cheek. " the bonaparte's fell from their grace and he died. i fled spain to germany, i couldn't stay there. " partly because it hadn't been safe as someone close to the bonaparte heir — but also, she couldn't stand the memories. " i grieved, for years. i ached and i cried, i lost everything. i made a new name for myself in germany, i made myself successful — so i'd never need to marry. as you know, my father had other plans. a spinster daughter is not his idea of pride. " rose scoffed at the words. if she was happy, what did it matter? except she wasn't. she hadn't been happy after she lost maceon.

another pause, this time her gaze drifted away from him. a hand came up to her lips as she pondered how to say the next words. " it was after our betrothal, in india, when . . . " how was she supposed to say, maceon bonaparte came back from the dead? it was just as outrageous to say it as it truly was, even a year later. " there he was. older, poorer — but alive. i was so angry at him. angry that he let me suffer, that he let me believe him to be dead — but mostly, angry because he did not take me with him. " rose had hardly forgiven maceon for that slight.

" he is aggravating, he is stubborn and he makes me so mad — but i could not lose him again. i have never known pain like the pain when i thought he had died. " now, her words came softer. the anger she felt reciting the memories dissipated. swift emotional changes were a hallmark of rose — something she could seldom control. just like the lack of impulse control that had her leaving him behind for maceon. " i won't be surprised if you think poorly of me, if you hate me or even despise me for what i did. " the minister mused, " it was wrong of me, and i am sorry for the hurt i may have caused you. " her words were genuine, and the look in her eyes showed that.

Leon had thought that they'd been making strides in their betrothal, thinking that things would work out for them despite the way that the arrangement had come about. They'd known each other for long enough and he thought that they could have actually worked out an arrangement that would work for them both, making the most in the match and even letting himself get used to the idea of having Rose as a wife, and then he got the news that she'd disappeared.

Almost like she'd vanished in the night, he couldn't believe what had happened and looked for her, spending weeks searching for her trying to find her and make sure that she was alright. He had never given up, still reaching out to contacts across continents trying to find out where she had gone, worrying that someone could have taken her, all of that on top of performing his duties and guarding the royal family of Germany only to find out from his guards that Rose was there, in the same place they had traveled to and seemed no worse for wear.

Stepping into the library and remaining silent, he looked at her, scanning her for any signs of harm, and growing even more frustrated after the initial sense of relief at her being unharmed. "You suppose you owe me an explanation," he repeated, scoffing at the blasé tone in her voice, as if she'd stepped out to the market for the afternoon and returned. "You certainly seem fine - unharmed.. so I'm guessing that all of this happened because you left of your own free will, nothing not even a note to suggest where you'd run off to?" he asked, being careful not to raise his voice though his anger was very clear in his steely gaze, standing militant and firm leaving a lot of space between them.

[harryforvogue]

Part One | Chapter Seven: Aunt Geraldine

Bellefonte, Pennsylvania

June 1919

We only spend three weeks at home, preparing for our lengthy trip. We've bought enough summer clothes to last us and saved enough money. Now that school is over, I've received my final pay and we are comfortable enough with what we have.

Harry is especially vocal in how eager he is to get out of New York again. He's been restless ever since we arrived back home. Things have been awkward between us, but I feel as if he talks to me more about everyday things, and not only when necessary.

Aunt Geraldine is happy to welcome us. Harry tells me about her to keep me ready, and from what I can tell, she's very kind, and has been somewhat of a mother to him when his was absent with his father.

We begin our journey during the second week of June.

***

It doesn't take much to pique my interest, especially when we're visiting a place with the word countryside attached to it. A familiar feeling of longing returns as we travel by train, glancing out the window, daydreaming of the wet dew on my skin, the scent of freshly cut grass and gardens, and the warmth of a good home cooked meal by the fire with the throw over my body. The town passed by just a few minutes ago, a small area that showed a handful of people soaking in the sun as they walked with their loved ones, or cycled through the streets. Unlike New York, the people walk leisurely, in no rush to get to their destination. They stroll through, occasionally picking their heads up to glance at the noisy train barreling through. I feel apologetic for disrupting their peaceful walk.

France's countryside is as secluded as Pennsylvania's, though I'm interested to see how the two places differ. Surrounded by acres of green land, I roll the window down and stand up, sticking my head out with a hand on my hat to keep it from blowing away. The weather has been perfect, walking the line between too cold and too hot, the breeze flowing through my hair, causing a smile to spread on my face.

We're approaching a tunnel. I poke my head back in for a moment and then return it to the outside when we're clear, glancing as far as I can. I see green everywhere until I close my eyes and tilt my head back, breathing in the scent of clean grass and unpolluted air.

"You're having fun," I hear someone comment behind me. Harry sits across from me, shutting his book and tucking it away. Last I checked, he was asleep.

I slide back into my seat and fix my hair. "Reminds me of France."

He nods, watching my hands as I fix the strands, taking my hat off. The window is left open, making my efforts to fix my hair useless as the wind nearly blows us over. I tilt my head back once more, enjoying the breeze as it travels through my hair, my dress, and my mouth when I open it slightly.

"When I was small," I start, opening my eyes, letting my head rest back as I continue to gaze out the window, not bothering to tame my hair, "I used to be envious of all the workers my parents had who got to spend all day outside getting dirty with the other animals. They'd come home, knees deep in dirt on good days, begging someone to draw them a bath. But they'd never be complaining about their day." I smile. "I knew. I knew they liked their work. I wanted to enjoy my work, so I vowed to be a shepherd when I became older. I sound so stupid don't I? Just a rich girl who hated being rich."

Since my parents wanted their children to be educated, I was sent off, but I know that the outdoors is where I belong. Acres upon acres of real land, bumpy, twisty, paved and unpaved. It's all so perfect.

I glance back at him, picking my head back up. "I wish you got to see France."

"Well," Harry says dryly, expression turning sour. "I certainly saw France."

I shake my head, replying firmly, "No. That's not what I mean. I wish you got to see France when I was there. I could take you to see where I grew up and all the friends I had there. What you saw, that wasn't France."

"What was it then?"

"Not France," I say, looking back out the window at the light blue sky. "It's a shame you didn't see France for what it is."

"It is a shame," Harry agrees grimly, reopening his book.

I eye him, but he doesn't notice, so I bring my attention back to the high plains. Not a cloud in sight. A perfect day.

***

Bellefonte is quiet. We pass through the closest town full of busy people, but when we read Bellefonte, it's hushed, as if nobody lives there. The buildings are large, like monuments, all with Victorian designs. The taxi pulls up in front of Aunt Geraldine's estate. Her estate is gothic looking and quite frightening with its dark colors and sharp edges.

The owner stands outside to greet us, a thin woman with distinct features and kind eyes. Her arms immediately wrap around her nephew, pulling him into a hug so tight, his breath gets cut short, and his hands awkwardly pat her back. She grabs his face firmly and pulls him back, opening her mouth to yell at him (it seems), but she stops when her eyes land on me.

"Oh!" she exclaims, pushing her nephew away, leaving a confused look on his face. She hugs me with the same ferocity until a squeak is released from me, and she lets me go when she's satisfied. Her thin hands cup my face. "Oh, you're beautiful!"

Blushing, I duck my head and smile. "Thank you. It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. D'Avella."

Aunt Geraldine's eyes widen. "Mrs. D'Avella? Absolutely not! It's just Aunt Geraldine, yes?"

Red in the face, I nod, picking up my suitcase. Harry and I follow her into her colossal home, our eyes wandering the hallways we walk through, partially to admire, but also to remember our route so we won't get lost. Upon entering the main room, there's a twisted staircase, leading to the bedrooms, I assume. For now, however, Aunt Geraldine instructs us to put our bags down and wash up to get ready for dinner.

As I wander upstairs, I take in my surroundings and examine just where I am. A warm brown shade covers the walls and the majority of the fancy decorations, paintings and ornaments on the wall. Occasionally, I'll pass by a wall ruined with what looks like crayons, some more pigmented than the other, but no effort made to hide the scribbles.

The drawings must be done by a child and left unbothered by proud parents, showing off the scribbles as if they belong in a museum or art gallery for our viewing pleasure. A variety of colors splattered on the off white blank canvas. I make out two eyes and a mouth curved up ridiculously so, the lines nearly touching the eyes. Whoever has drawn this must have an amazing outlook on life, innocent and pure.

Harry peers at the scribbles when he catches me in the hallway. He sticks his hands in his pockets.

"Grace," he informs me. "Aunt Geraldine's niece."

I smile. "How old is she?"

He calculates in his head. "Should be turning 7 soon. Aunt Geraldine adopted her when her parents passed away."

"She must be the sweetest girl. Une belle fille."

After a brief pause, he turns around and gestures to the stairs. "Come. I'll show you the way."

Aunt Geraldine is a gentle lady until it comes to Harry. She makes him sit down and begins interrogating him immediately.

"Why did it take you so long to take up my invitation? I've been asking you to come for nearly a year now!" she demands, smacking his shoulder with her spoon.

"Well, I was in the war, wasn't I?" Harry protests. "It's not my fault I couldn't drop everything and come to you!"

Food is placed on the table in front of us. As Harry and Aunt Geraldine bicker, a small girl in a navy blue dress flutters by and sits down in front of Harry and I. She shyly gives me a smile.

"I washed my hands," she whispers to me.

"I did too," I whisper back.

"Annaliese, this is Grace, my niece. Harry, you remember her?" Aunt Geraldine says, taking a break from her sarcastic conversation with Harry. "Eric's daughter."

Harry's eyes visibly darken and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "Hi, Grace." He turns back to Aunt Geraldine. "I'm so sorry about Eric. I didn't know about him until a while back."

His aunt pauses and her lips get thinner. I look between them, unsure about what they're talking about. I look to Harry specifically for help and context but he doesn't look at me. His aunt reaches out and grasps Harry's hand and gives him a sad smile and a pat. I can see Harry's arm freeze. He doesn't like her touch at all.

"Yes," she says quietly. "We're still grieving. But, we have to keep our spirits high for Grace, right? Things happen. Not all life is guaranteed."

"I remember him so well," Harry says, slowly removing his hand from under hers as discreetly as possible. His hands are placed in his lap. "I miss him terribly."

"Yes," Aunt Gerladine repeats. "We like to remember him fondly. Good things only."

"Happy memories only," Grace mumbles around her forkful of food. I glance at her. She's very intelligent for her age. Her emotional intelligence is far better than mine.

"Exactly," Aunt Geraldine says brightly, patting Grace's head. "That's what we say in this house. We wouldn't want anyone to be sad about us. Eric wouldn't either. I can't be sad about him forever."

"I wish I'd come to see him before he passed though," Harry says, reaching for his own utensils. "I haven't seen him in years. I was excited to see him when we got here."

"Right, but we can't do anything now. Except have some dinner, so please help yourself. You too, Annaliese. Take as much as you want. Take it before Jared comes home because he'll wipe it all clean."

Grace giggles. I ask,"Is Jared your husband, Aunt Geraldine?"

"He is! He's on a trip right now, but he'll be back soon, probably tomorrow. Oh, he'll be so happy to see you both. You know what they'd say about you, right, Harry?"

"Yes."

"And what's that?" I ask curiously.

"They used to say I looked like Eric quite a bit." Harry's voice is quiet.

"We gave our only child all the love we had," Aunt Geraldine says with a sad smile. "But, like I said, what's happened has happened and we can only look up from here. I'm sure Eric is happy that you're here, Harry. Please eat."

It's almost 10 by the time we're nearly done with dinner. Dessert consists of a freshly baked cake. Chocolate, of course, because Grace tells me it's her favorite.

Grace, for a child who does not have parents, is a happy one. Talkative too once we learn more about her and her adventures riding horses and fishing with her uncle. She's very fond of Jared, it seems. I grow excited to meet him too. Both Aunt Geraldine and Jared are happy people. She speaks of him with love in her voice, I'm almost envious of it.

"Enough about us," Aunt Geraldine says during dessert. "Tell me about you guys. How did you meet? When did you get married?"

Since Harry has been doing a lot of the talking, I expect him to take this too, but he falls silent on the topic of his marriage with me. I speak for him instead.

"We met when I was in my final year of college. I was staying with his family because I'm very close with his sister and I couldn't afford the dormitories during winter break. It was supposed to just be that break, but then I spent summers at their house too."

"How romantic!" Aunt Geraldine says, clasping her hands together. "I do love a good romance story. Then what?"

"Then... Well, we were together for some time and then we got married."

"And you moved here. Why?"

"To avoid the war," Harry interjects dryly. "Which didn't work out all that well."

I hope I've dreamt that accusatory tone, but Harry avoids my eye contact when I turn to silent wonder what he means by that.

"Unfortunately," I stress, glancing back at Aunt Geraldine. "We weren't able to avoid it."

"I see," Aunt Geraldine says quietly. "Regardless of what's happened, you've come this far. And you're here and safe. That's all that matters."

"Yes," I answer. I clear my throat. "Sorry, which way is the bathroom?"

"Just up the stairs and to the right. Are you alright?"

I smile and nod. "Just have to wash my hands. Excuse me."

Harry can't be blaming me for his involvement in the war, I think as I wash my hands. I wasn't the one who took him to the enlisting site. I didn't force him to write his name. I was scared of it. I spent nights awake, frightened that they'd take the only good man in my life away from me.

Did he think if he stayed in England and pushed his luck, he'd be safe? I lean over the sink and catch my breath. I will not be accused of endangering him!

I return back downstairs until the watchful eye of Aunt Geraldine. However, Harry and I are both tired both from traveling and talking. Harry's the first one to push his chair back and thank his aunt for the delicious dinner.

"Which one is my room?"

Aunt Geraldine blinks in surprise but quickly recovers. "Pick any of the guest rooms on the first second floor."

"Thank you. Goodnight." He kisses her cheek and walks to the staircase.

With Harry out of sight, Aunt Geraldine's demeanor shifts, her shoulders falling with resignation, and the brave expression on her face crumbling. A stunt put up for Harry that has run its course, no longer needed now that he's retired to bed. She takes a deep inhale and then drops the ashes of her cigarette into the ashtray, moving her hair out of her face.

"So," she finally says, relaxing in her chair. "Annaliese. I assume you'll want a separate room."

I refuse the offer of a cigarette for myself. "Why do you think that?" The thought hasn't crossed my mind once.

"Well, given how he is." She vaguely gestures in the direction Harry went in. "I imagine he's not being very nice to you."

My eyebrows raise. "Er, nice?"

Aunt Geraldine nods, putting her cigarette out, letting it rest in the glass tray. With the facade dropped, her eyes are darker, and the lines in her face returning, her tight mouth pursed into a stern look. I'm relieved to know that I'm not the reason why Aunt Geraldine looks this way, more tired than before.

"I raised that child," she finally says tightly. "I know who he is and that man," she gestures to him again, chuckling dryly, "is a stranger. From the moment I looked at him, I knew." She shakes her head. "That's not my Harry."

"I don't know how you're doing it," she adds, reaching for another cigarette. "Being this brave. I feel like a phony trying to keep up my act."

"Harry believes you," I tell her. "It seems like you've convinced him."

"So who is convincing him that he's alright? Look at him. Jesus," she mutters, inhaling. "What did they do to my child?"

Suddenly wanting to clear my name, I sit up and say, "I've been trying to get through to him. It's not as if I've given up on him."

"Annaliese," Aunt Geraldine says quietly, reaching over and taking my hand softly. "I don't mean you. You do nothing but make him happy, I can tell. I'm not blaming you."

"Happy?" I say wryly. "Where do you see happiness on his face?"

Aunt Geraldine considers this. "Safety then. I saw it when you left to go to the bathroom. The panic in his eyes, Annaliese, until you returned. It was all transparent. But then again, safety isn't the only reason one marries. How long has he been back?"

"Almost 7 months."

"Has he gotten better?"

"I don't know," I admit, recalling the past few months. "We haven't spent much time together. I go to work and he doesn't. If we talk, I'm doing most of the talking. He doesn't want to talk to me."

"That can't be true."

"It is." The conversation we had at the hotel in Atlantic City returns to me. "It is, I'm afraid."

"Does he get nightmares?"

"I don't know. If he has them, he keeps to himself. I don't sleep with him." I sharply inhale. "God, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be complaining about him like this. I love him, I promise I do. It's just been a little stressful for us both. I don't mean to make it seem like it's all me. I know he's having it worse."

Aunt Geraldine pats my hand again as I swallow the lump in my throat and demand my eyes not to cry. "You need to rest, Annaliese. There's a guest room right next door to where Harry's room is. Everything is set up there."

"Thank you for letting us stay here," I tell her sincerely. "I do love your nephew very much. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, child. Grace, will you take her to the guest room?"

I follow the blonde headed girl to the room, gently running my hand over her head to thank her.

The door is already ajar. I slip in quietly. In the comfort of the darkness, my tears cannot stop falling, my breath shaky and broken as I cry into my hands, picturing Harry's face. Harry's school uniform. The child he used to be running around with his aunt, cheeks dirty from the mud, hair in a disarray, knees scraped from his adventures outside. A stranger, Aunt Geraldine had said. A stranger in her house, disguised as her nephew.

"Annaliese?"

I glance up sharply and hurry to wipe my face. A large figure creaks the bed as it moves. "Je suis désolée! I thought this was my room."

Harry sits up, letting the white covers draping his bare body fall to his waist. "Christ, are you crying?"

"I got the wrong room. Merde. I'm sorry I woke you up." I hurriedly reach for the door and tumble out.

The hallway light falls into his eyes and he raises a hand to cover his squinted eyes. "Annaliese. Hold on--"

"Goodnight."

I walk to the room beside him and shut the door behind me. I hesitate for a second before locking the door as well.

[inglourious-imagines]

The Only One (Lewis Nixon)

Requested by: @dontfearthereaper-09

Summary: You're Colonel Sink's granddaughter and you're helping out with paperwork - you eventually fall in love with Lewis Nixon and start dating. However, every relationship has its ups and downs.

Prompt: a requested one - I wish I'd never met you.

Author's Note: I struggled so hard with this and I'm not proud of it at all, but hope it is what you wanted. A big thank you goes to for @alienoresimagines and her great help as always!

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @teenmagazines @meteora-fc @eugenesmorphine @band-of-brothers-cz @real-fans  @not-john-watsons-blog @tealaquinn @ok-roemanov @mrseasycompany @punkgeekchic @wexhappyxfew @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @rayofshanshine @mavysnavy @easynix @stressedinadress @georgeluzwarmhugs @easy-company-tradition @immrsronaldspeirs @snafus-peckuh @curraheewestandalone @warrior-healer @justamadgirlinabox @happyveday

.

.

.

"He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began." - Anna Karenina, L. Tolstoj

Y/N had never in her life shooted from a rifle or even held it in her innocent hands. She had never known combat, real combat, where men kill and die. She had never endured real physical pain.

And still, Y/N was standing in the middle of Camp Toccoa during the hot summer days of 1942 with a huge grin on her face. She finally persuaded her grandfather to let her join the paratroopers. Well, she was there to help out with paperwork mainly, to be there at hand for the intelligence officers, but she also managed to pull a few strings so she will be undergoing the combat training like every other soldier even though she's not allowed to go and fight in France.

The first weeks were exhausting - physically and mentally - with the combat training Y/N volunteered for. She constantly felt like she's at the verge of giving up and going home. 

But Y/N didn't and neither will she. Even though it was the hardest thing she'd ever done in her life, it seemed right. This is where Y/N Sink belonged.

But thank God it wasn't just exercise, work and signing documents. One evening, when everything was finished for the day, her grandfather Sink took her with him to a certain celebration, more like an occasion to get drunk and forget that a war is going on just across an ocean. 

It was certainly the most eventful night during her stay in Camp Toccoa, Georgia. Y/N lost her grandfather nearly 10 minutes after they walked in the pub. She immediately befriended two guys - George Luz and Joe Liebgott. It seemed like they'd known each other for years. The soldiers heard all about the mysterious woman that had been helping out in their training camp weeks ago now but never really got the chance to talk to her.

George introduced her to the rest of his friends within Easy Company and they spend the night together laughing, downing shots one after another, dancing and joking around. Y/N felt relaxed and genuiely unworried that night so when they were told to break it up and get some sleep for tomorrow, it suddenly saddened her. The Easy Company boys were the most welcoming, kind and funny men Y/N'd met during her stay and she was sure that she's not gonna have a chance to talk to them like that night for a long time.

There was a soldier waiting for her outside of the pub to escort her into her room but Y/N kindly told him to fuck off and he made sure to be quickly on his way. 

So there she was again, standing under the starry night in Georgia, a warm summer breeze dancing through her hair while she struggled a bit to remain on her feet due to all the alcohol flowing in her veins. 

"Have a trouble finding your way, Miss Sink?" a deep voice filled her ears and Y/N jumped a bit on her spot as she didn't see him coming from behind.

"I'm perfectly fine, soldier." she tried to answer with a firm steady voice but a quiet giggle escaped her lips.

"I can see that. Let me help you there, Miss." he offered his help kindly, smirking. The Moon was illuminating his face making his hair appear darker than the night itself and his eyes shined like two stars up at the sky.

"I assure you, Mr Nixon, that I have no trouble at all. I can manage myself." Y/N stood behind her words but a part of her desired his gentle hand on her lower back steadying her. 

"I'm surprised you know my name." Nix laughed raising his eyebrows as he took a few steps closer to her.

"And I'm surprised it was just a can of peaches." Y/N replied boldly looking directly into his dark eyes.

They were covered in silence for a few moments but they burst out laughing in the next second earning some "shut the fuck ups" from the nearest barracks.

The duo spent the rest of the night walking around the camp as they eventually ended up in her room talking about nothing and everything. By the next morning, Y/N knew every little thing about Lewis and he knew every little thing about her. 

It was no surprise, to Easy Company boys or even his grandfather, that the two of them started dating just a couple of days after the party. Richard Winters soon payed Y/N a visit informing her how he's never seen Lew so damn happy and cheerful all the time.

•••

At the end of May, 1944 when all the preparations for D-Day were finishing, another party was thrown in honor of the paratroopers that had earned their jump wings. Y/N persaued Sink to take her to Britain with him so she was able to celebrate with all of them. 

She was a bit tipsy already because George Luz made her drink three beers and the forth was already on its way. 

Lewis Nixon glared at the duo with a bottle of whiskey in his right hand and a cigarette in the left. He watched how Y/N's lips curled into the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen at something George whispered in her ear. She burst out in a hearty laugh as she touched Luz's shoulder gently and this simple action reminded Lewis the night they met for the first time. An uneasy feeling burned through his chest - it suddenly became hard to breathe. Nixon clenched the glass in his hands and he'd have break it eventually if Richard didn't shake with Lew's shoulder.

"Not now, Dick," the intellingent officer snapped immediately, "we'll talk tomorrow. I'm heading back to my room."

And with that, he stood up and walked out of the pub without any other glance toward his girlfriend. The bottle of Vat '69 was left on the table half full.

•••

"Baby? Why did you disappear so quickly?" Y/N barged in his room while he was sitting behind his desk looking out of the window absently. 

"You seemed quite happy with George." Nixon murmured quietly, he didn't even bother to turn and face her.

"What is this all about? Is there a problem?" she asked kindly moving closer to her broken soldier. The sweet tone of her voice was making it even harder than it already was.

Lewis Nixon looked at her for the first time. "I think we shouldn't be seeing each other anymore." He sounded decided, strongly convinced in his statement.

Y/N suspiciously eyed his face whereas Lewis tried to avoid her concerned look. "Is this about George?"

"No, it's not about fucking George!" Lewis raised his voice and stood up from the little chair, "you are better without me, okay? I drag you down, Y/N."

She stared at him in disbelief. "What the hell are you talking about? I love you and only you, damn it!"

"You just think you do!"

Y/N's eyes began to water and when the first hot tear rolled down her cheek Nixon's heart broke into million pieces. He hated himself for hurting the most precious human being on the Earth but he had to do it. There was no other way.

"I wish you trusted me more, Lew." she breathed out reaching out to caress his cheek but changed her mind in the last second and her hand fell to her body.

Lewis pressed his eyelids tightly together forcing the coming tears stay inside of his soul. "I wish I'd never met you."

•••

The next days hit Y/N harder than her first days at Toccoa. No combat training, no amount of paperwork had ever made her feel so broken, tired and demotivated. As weird as it sounds, even after the relatively short relationship with the Easy Company intelligence officer, Lewis was a big important part of her life. He made her feel so many new emotions, he fulfilled her soul and heart like nobody else did.

And now, it was all gone.

Everyone noticed the sudden cold behaviour between Y/N and Lewis but they didn't really know what happened. Y/N brushed it off every single time when someone asked her and no one really dared to approach Nixon. 

It wasn't like the duo stopped communicating absolutely. Lewis after the argument stormed off and got drunk, he was genuiely wasted, but he also realised what a mistake he did. It was the first time Y/N told him she loved him and he was still able to make the person who cared for him the most go away.

When Y/N tried her best to avoid Nixon, he tried his best to talk to her as much as possible, every day he left her a note at her desk along with a flower and every time she accidentally glanced at him he sent her an apologetic smile.

Y/N knew her anger and hurt was slowly fading away. Lewis felt truly sorry - alcohol and jealousy wasn't really a great combination.

•••

My dearest Y/N,

I know you don't want to have anything to do with me, and I don't blame you, but there's still something I need to tell you. I'm just gonna hope that this sort of letter is not lying in the bin already.

I want you to know that I regret every single word I said that night. Clearly my jealousy and my alcoholic problem (as much as you hate me right now, please don't tell anyone I just admitted that) came in the way and I thought you're better off without me.

I'm not the perfect boyfriend, Y/N, and I never will be. I'm not funny as George, and I guarantee you there's gonna be more arguments between us. But I can assure you that no matter what happens, I will love you for the rest of my life. 

Hope you can forgive me,

I'm sorry.

With love, your Lewis

A tear soaked into the piece of paper as she pressed it to her heart. Little did Y/N know that she will love the idiot forever.

[nightswithkookmin]

WHAT WILL JIMIN POST ON JK'S BIRTHDAY 2020?

Interesting question. I get why my Askbox is flooded with it. May thirteen was a disappointment. Most Jikookers were looking forward to a reinforcement of a long established Jikook tradition- well everyone except me and a couple others I think. Y'all don't be paying attention. Lol

Jikook are complex beings and like any complex organism they learn to adapt to situations and surroundings. They are predictable in that way but also they are not. It's paradoxical, I know.

If you paid any attention to what was going on from late March through to June you'd have known there was little to no likelihood May 13 was gonna happen.

And if it had happened, it would have taken on a whole new meaning at least to some of us. But hey, 5/8 right? Sure. Jimin smart. We stan a Bigbrain.

Anywho, tomorrow is not about Jimin or Jikook or any ship. It's about JK. It's about celebrating the gift of life that he is. For all the times he's been hated on, this is the only day out of 365 days that we as a fandom get to put our differences aside and come together to show our love and appreciation for him- I hope.

I don't see why Jimin wouldn't do the same for him. Especially since it's been a long established tradition not just for Jikook but for all the members.

They all celebrate eachother's birthday to varying degrees but at the bare minimum they wish each other a happy birthday. That's the norm.

All the other members will wish JK a happy birthday and that includes Jimim. If you understand why people celebrate others birthday you'll understand this is not complicated at all. So it's not a question of will Jimin post tomorrow.

Jimin is a very kind, thoughtful and a loving person. It would be weird of him not to wish his fellow bandmate a happy birthday on his birthday. He would. He should. Rest assured.

But I understand that what y'all are asking me as far as Jikook is concerned and shipping goes is whether Jimin would do something extraordinary for JK this year like he did last year, what he would do and whether he would post about it.

Even though I am certain he will post, I can't tell you what that post is going to be, I'm an alien not Jesus you know?

What I can speculate on is whether or not Jimin would make another grand gesture like that of last year. Which is what this post is going to be about.

The answer to that question is not as simple as yes he would or no he wouldn't. Personally, I expect him to do something a little bit out of the ordinary or coded this year. I'll explain in a bit.

To be clear, I don't expect a repeat of last year or anything of the magnitude of last year at all as much as that would make me uWu so hard. Although... what if he pulls a 360 on us and propose to Jk on his birthday?what? I'm speaking it into existence!

What Jimin did last year was an exception not the norm. You don't fly half way across the world just because. To me that was a grand grand gesture in the history of JK's birthdays and I don't expect a repeat of it unless the circumstances that lead to that moment repeats its self.

The circumstances being that they were broke up and he was trying to fix things. Cough, cough.

JK's birthday last year was an Echo of Manila. A general consensus among Jikookers, is that JK had been mad because Jimin was choosing to spend time with Taemin on the eve of his birthday hence why he had had posted that song knowing full well Jimin would see it as a way to guilt trip Jimin.

If that is right, then Jimin flying over to be with Jk would be a huge statement.

2015 and 2019 are the years that have stood out to me most, birthday wise: Jimin saying he wanted to give JK a kiss on his 18th birthday and him flying from Paris to South K to be with JK on his birthday.

If you've ever heard Jimin talk about money, he is prudent and wise about money. I mean rather than spend millions on a luxury apartment he chose to buy an investment property instead. He is a Libra, I wouldn't expect anything less.

On his vacation trips, he's known to share cost of expenses with the friends he travels with if he's traveling with them. I won't call him frugal though, thoughtful and selective is more like it.

So when he does something of this nature, it's not nothing. He was making a statement period. He was proving something to someone- if you say Army I'll smack the back of your head. Lol

JK. He was proving something to JK. It's always been JK- so help me lord if you say it's Fanservice! It is not. It wasn't for Fanservice.

I've seen people around corners of the internet saying he didn't have to post his Paris video if he was going to go see JK anyway to celebrate with him. That the whole video message thing on Twitter seemed very much private.

I agree with the part about the video seeming private. It seemed personal to me. But it also seemed like the point of that video was to let JK know his location at the time to perhaps throw him off the surprise he had planned for later.

People have argued JM was just pulling a 'prank' on JK with that whole Paris trip to begin with. They were on a hiatus, they had been together prior to JM leaving for France a few days to JK's birthday so it doesn't make sense that they would be broken up at that time period and it doesn't make sense that Jimin will leave for Paris and fly back home only to leave again so it must be a prank.

... Sure. Valid point. However, I don't see Jimin being reckless with money or honestly that shallow. If that was a prank that was an expensive one.

And yes, Jimin didn't have to go on the trip. It wasn't business. It was leisure. I can see how that would be confusing to JK especially when it seemed JM was choosing to spend time with someone, be somewhere else rather than with him on his birthday- yet again. Coughing in Manila.

But sure, I can see how that would be the best 'prank' surprise for JK. Shaking my head. I don't think that was all that was happening with Jikook around that time as I have hinted at several times across my blog posts.

Jikook were broke up around that time, that trip was a grand gesture, Jimin's way to make up with Jk let him know he's learned his lessons. His friends are important but JK comes first. The lightning struck twice for JM and he got a second chance to redeem himself- the definition of GRAND gesture.

If you are a Kpop enthusiast you would also know about the political climate in S.K around that time frame and how it was impacting the Kpop world in general. Certain Boy Bands were under investigation for certain 'offences' I don't want to get into.

On August 11th, one member of such said boy band was arrested- allegedly. I don't know what it had to do with BTS or whether it had anything to do with them at all and I'm not insinuating anything but I just found that impromptu hiatus in August a bit suspicious giving everything else that was going on in S.K.

If 'people' were looking into Kpop boybands then I am certain BTS was on top of that list just because they are the biggest boyband and have been a target of haters for years.

Needless to say, I do not think they were gonna find anything at all on the boys if in deed they had looked but if the boys had a secret- like say two of their members being in the LGBTQ plus community then I assume that secret was bound to be found out?

It is why I believe the boys were asked to lay low in August and that Jikook specifically had been asked by BigHit to tone things down while they navigated the muddy mess of public scrutiny- in my opinion.

I also find it a bit interesting that both of Jikook later that same month and period would be involved in a scandal involving women- But feel free to draw your own conclusions on that however you please. This is just mine: I think that move was straight out of the PR books. Classic Olivia Pope-esque move. Lol

I know some people think it is in the best interest of Jikook to hide their relationship if they are real and that Jikook want to hide their relationship: I disagree.

Just based on my own observation, I don't think they enjoy hiding at all. Especially JK. Well, he did say he didn't want to hide anymore in GCF Saipan didn't he? Can't argue with that.

But also, out of the two, JK is the one who seems the most grounded and sure about their relationship. This is seen best in moments where they've almost been caught. JK's been the least bothered or throw off. Almost as if he doesn't mind if people find out about them.

For instance, when BTS exposed JK for sneaking into Jimin's bed Jimin looked terrified as fuck. He pointed to JK, almost throwing him under the bus but for someone behind the camera asking him to chill, Jimin would have freaked out of his mind.

Then we have that infamous moment when Jimin and JK walked into JK's room and spotted the camera. The look on JM's face said it all. But JK seemed pretty chill about it to me.

Now these moments are relevant because JM was caught unaware. They were both caught off guard and so their reactions were instinctive. By instinct Jimin freaked out which says to me he is afraid to be exposed or outed perhaps because he isn't ready to come out- yet. While JK's reaction on the other says to me he doesn't mind at all if people found out about them which could be because he is ready to come out.

I know what you are thinking and no. That time in the track when they were caught taking photos- JK looked more like he didn't appreciate the invasion of his privacy rather then terrified he was caught. They were on set and so they knew there were cameras roaming around and anyone could stumble on them. They were both consciously self aware of their environment which is why JM was able to make a quick comeback.

I can go on and on about this about this topic but the post is already getting too long.

My point is, Jikook don't like to hide. When you are in love you want the whole world to know. And so often, they fluctuate between wanting to keep their relationship a secret for the sake of their careers and wanting to declare and openly claim eachother.

Keeping their relationship a secret is bound to be stressful on them physically and emotionally. Just because they don't like to be outed don't mean they enjoy hiding.

Their secret is not theirs alone to tell. They have people whose careers depend on them. Their secret is inextricably linked with five other people. People whose careers could end instantly if their secret so much as came out accidentally or even by design.

I don't think either of them is selfish enough to risk that. Not even in the name of love. And this is especially true for Jimin the way I see it. As for JK..... I don't think he gives a shit. Bless him.

This doesn't mean, however, that they don't enjoy teetering the line. It's part of the thrill that fuels their passions- when they get to play at being caught and exposed or just the mere thought they are out smarting the public- fucking exhibitionist!

Jokes aside, I believe there is a sense of comfort and security they get from knowing there are thousands of people out there who enjoy and celebrate their love as openly as they would want to and they live openly vicariously through us.

Our support and acceptance means so much to them. Which is why often you find them reaching out to us.

Being told to lay low even if it's for their own interests would get on their nerves especially for a rebel like JK and Jimin knew this hence why that public display of his affection for Jk on Twitter.

Thus, I do I think JM would make another gesture similar to what he did last year but whatever gesture of he does make one would be unique in it's own way from last year's and would be more of an assurance of his love for JK and a prove to Army that they are fine just because i think they have both been through a lot this year just as he said in the dynamite MV reaction VLive which was rudely sabotaged by Tae.

Jimin seemed like he wanted to have a 'public' moment with JK as explained in my previous post on the Dynamite Reaction Vlive. And given as that moment was interrupted, I expect him to try that again. Whatever message he wanted to deliver it seemed more intended for JK as much as us their supporters.

He has been pretty active on social media lately in the days leading up to JK's birthday. He seems to be gearing up for something. He ain't slick.

So yea, part of me hopes and expect him to do something nice, to make a statement similar to last year's but I cannot ignore also that there's been a lot of eyes and attention on Jikook a lot lately. More so than usual.

Posting something of that nature would single them out and only escalate the situation especially if it is something that makes them both stand out from the others.

For context, I am talking about the heat they recieved as a result of the Dynamite MV. That heat is drenched in homophobia and they and BigHit could care shit about that as I explained in my previous post but you have to understand it can have a negative impact on their mental health.

I mean, NamJoon is constantly being paired with JK a lot lately. It's almost as if he is keeping an eye on Him constantly if you know what I mean. Tae has also been keeping an eye on Jikook, outing Jikook's schemes and shenanigans before they happen like in that Dynamite MV Reaction VLive where he asked JK not to look into the camera during Jimin's solo commentary.

It's understandable. Their interest is as stake too. If Jikook go down, they are going down too. It's daisy.

What I'm saying is, Jikook is being monitored and it would be daring of Jimin to do something as grand for JK openly like that.

But who knows. If it's gonna make JK happy because they've both been through a lot this half of the year then JM would definitely definitely do it. He is defiant like that and he can be a bit of a dare devil when it comes to proving his stance to Jk. He wouldn't hesitate for a second. I love that about him.

Mad respect for him if he does. Mad mad respect for him if he does. But if he doesn't you'd all know why.

In conclusion, I'm saying I'm expecting something more than a happy birthday text from Jimin this year. I'm expecting something more meaningful, deep, coded and uniquely Jikook.

If it happens to be a proposal Ayla you can have all my shmoney! Lol

Signed,

GOLDY

[smiletimeisrunningout]

"I'm afraid I'll sound as callous," Emma replied to Mrs. Sullivan's first point, "But I'm a daft person. That isn't the full answer, however, I took the risk because I'd rather they get a reprimand for not keeping me under control, which is something to be expected of me in the first place by anyone who knows me even just a little, than get a swift and unnecessary death. I wasn't sure until afterwards that the men who attacked us weren't... men who followed me from my kingdom. And if they had been, believe me... my guards would not be prepared. They expect a certain amount of honor that just doesn't exist in my corner of the world. Not among those people, at least, I like to think I have plenty." At the moment she saw little point explaining that if anything she was by far the best trained soldier among them, whether one thought of years spent learning or years on the battlefield itself. Most people couldn't believe it unless they saw it - it wasn't even just a problem of the British or the continentals, one had to simply walk into France to find that people already knew nothing of the country of Mysthaven, unlike at least their close neighbors in Greece, Italy and North Africa.

"Oh, I trust your knowledge, you wouldn't offer to help if you didn't know how, but I'm glad to hear that women do have more freedom than some of the men here had let me believe," she smiled at the woman, "I must admit we are as ignorant of your way of living as most people are of ours. Perhaps I spoke to men who were giving a... biased view of it." More than likely, in fact.

Hoping this would reassure her, Emma fretted to say: "I'm not here by request of your king, you needn't worry, in fact I do think those men were dispatched to guard me more out of... a feeling of duty than real concern or wish to do so. I'll write them a letter to let them know that I have, after all, decided to follow my path by myself, it would be safer for everyone, especially since I'm neutral to this war. I came here for a wedding and now I'm simply traveling, but... with all due respect, your King knows I'm not taking sides and therefore I must not be considered under his protection." She paused, thinking about it for a moment, "Or... well, I suppose I should be considered under both sides' protection because neither should dare to imprison me or hurt me if they don't want a second war. But that's all the more reason not to attract too much attention. Too many grand decorations and I'll understandably attract people who aren't as lucky. Too much red around me and the blue will likely set a trap, and vice versa. I think at this very moment I'm not only in one of the safest places for me, but the country is at its safest because we are not under everyone's eyes and guns. Yes, I think writing and freeing them from having to watch me will be the best move." She did better on her own - and she sympathized with any group that looked for freedom anyway.

Oh, the description just reminded her of her lovely, precious horse, whom her friends kept referring to as the demon but was really a sweetheart. It wasn't his fault if he hated people and he was the most obedient there, had never even tried to bite August despite clearly yearning for violence. "I've found that most animals that display an aggressive nature need and deserve more love than anyone. They must have their reasons, after all. Don't you, pretty boy? One must respect and love from afar if necessary, but love none the less."

"Oh God, food," Emma murmured, the one thing that could always get to her. She was even more eager to follow the other woman then, so they could get this silly business over with and she could eat something. "I'm sorry, I promise I'll explain everything when we are settled, I feel like I'm still all over the place."

Maggie frowned at Emma’s explanation. “As callous as it might sound, that was a daft choice. Soldiers are paid to take risks no one would ask a civilian to take, and if you’re important enough to warrant a guarded escort then you’re important enough that someone needs you alive. Why take unnecessary risks, and get those men in trouble for failing in their mission?” The doctor could imagine the looks on any of her Boys’ faces if some woman did a stunt like that, jumping into a fray when they needed to keep her alive. Most likely, Hannibal would just knock her out, and throw her back into the coach. A headache was easily treated, and something he rarely lost sleep over inflicting on others. It would be a far better alternative to his charge dying. Emma’s next question brings a laugh from Maggie. “Women are not slaves, bound only to our houses or less reputable places. Women often work in taverns and inns because they own them with their husband, or their parents own them. And I’m not a doctor—my husband was a doctor, and I helped him. When he died, someone had to take over, so I did. The nearest doctor besides me is three towns over, which is too long a trip in a dire situation.” Some of the town had grumbled when Maggie took over for Jacob, but they were surprisingly few in number. Most people appreciated that they needed a local doctor, more than they cared about that doctor’s gender. Besides, she had helped her husband during the French and Indian war years ago, and most of the town had had minor complaints treated by her for years. By now, no one even blinked about coming to her for help.

Mysthaven? After a moment of thought, Maggie began recalling some of the rumors Templeton had been bringing back from Philadelphia. Then she nodded, “Ah… then you’re that… princess who is visiting, right? It explains the guards then… King George has enough troubles without losing a visiting princess as well. It that case you shouldn’t have fled from your guards in a bid to save them. They were only following the King’s orders to protect you, and likely they won’t be allowed to stop or rest themselves until they find you again. The Colonies are too unstable for their Sergeants to allow them to do anything else.” She kept her tone gentle, but she was clearly giving a mild scolding. Emma’s seemingly selfless actions had, in fact, likely brought a good deal more trouble on the heads of the poor soldiers than a short confrontation with some rather daft bandits could ever do. That also meant that, quite likely, it could bring trouble down on her head as well, if the soldiers came looking here searching for the princess. She would have to tell Baracus to keep his head down. Herself, Kelly, and Mrs. Baracus could move about freely though, and she had no qualms dealing with the King’s Men on her own. Maggie stifled another chuckle at Emma calling Baracus’s horse ‘sweetie’. The animal mirrored his master—cantankerous and grumpy until he decided that he liked a person. Then he would be the most loyal, faithful animal a human could ever find. The first hurdle was always the hardest to clear with him, though, and often came with a few nips, and occasionally raising a back leg as if he was debating a kick. “Fair warning, he is not always the friendliest animal about.” Maggie cautioned thoughtfully. “He likes whom he likes, and has a severe mistrust of anyone not on that rather short list. The Morgan is far more amiable in disposition.” Maggie nodded, seeing no further reason to add to Emma’s comments, as she began gathering what Emma would need to settle her horse. At Emma’s caution, she merely put down her armload of supplies. “You’ll be amazed what I am used to seeing, Emma. Violence generally does not discriminate between men and women, particularly in times of war. Now come on—the sooner we settle your horse, the sooner you can be treated as well. Then Mrs. Baracus will get a hot meal into you.”