#i hate feeling like i'm wasting my own time but it's not like my program can go any faster

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Can you rank the sdv bachelors/bachelorettes on who would adjust the best/worst to farm life? I'm curious on your opinion :))

Sure thing, let's do a ranking on our marriage candidates 😃 Thanks for the ask, dear anon! 🫰💕

Also, I think it's worth saying that I think all candidates will adjust well to their new life on the farm. This is where I described and judged candidates when they first moved onto the farm, from day one. This is just my opinion, so if you think differently, feel free to write about it here in replies!

_____________________________

SDV bachelors:

Shane gets a confident 8.5/10. After all, he didn't get the nickname "chicken man" for nothing, as he takes excellent care of hens on his aunt's ranch. So much so that he's bred his own breed of blue chickens! Plus, I'm sure Shane has helped Marnie take care of other animals while in the barn, and knows a fair bit about growing crops (at least his favourite hot peppers). So he will adapt almost instantly!

I'll probably get some hate for this, but I'll give Elliott a 1/10. With all due respect to our gallant writer, he literally has a quote where he says he "won't water the plant with salt water this time." ...Who would ever think of watering a freshwater plant with salt water, even without a background in gardening? So it's going to take Elliott a long time to adjust to life on a farm, especially if it's a Beach Farm ("Don't water the tomatoes with seawater!").

Normally Sam's mother, as she herself claimed, didn't make him and Vincent do house work, and there's no garden or hint of anyone in the family taking care of the houseplants (most likely Jodi doing all the work). So Sammy jumps from the life of a carefree musician to one full of farm chores, at least partially. In fact, he doesn't mind giving it a try, just doesn't know where to start ("Honey, help me"). 3/10, he's a little confused, but he got the spirit.

Being constantly busy working with patients, despite the small size of the town, and a bunch of other things to do in his clinic, certainly doesn't leave Harvey enough free time to do much gardening. But at least there's some time to read books, and the library just happens to have a couple of interesting ones about farming. I think it will at least give him the opportunity to grow tomatoes in a pot (albeit decorative ones). It's going to be a lot harder with farming, but Harvey even likes it. Still, 3.5/10, he's trying.

Similar situation with Sam, Sebastian will jump from a life of freelance programming work to the farm work. Of course Farmer won't force Sebby to work for them, after all they love him for who he is, not as free labour. But emo himself feels he should help his spouse with their work somehow. He's so-so at growing crops, but taking care of the chickens and goats is much better. 4/10, the black hens are his favourite, btw.

Oh, Alex will fit into farm life quite nicely. The athlete may have difficulty tending crops, watering potatoes and garlic with too much water, but in terms of physical tasks he does just fine. Drag heavy bags of seed/hay? Heck yeah! Load heavy pumpkins into the shipping bin for sale? Easy, he'll do it with one hand! It's like a workout for him. 6.5/10, go Alex!

SDV bachelorettes:

Penny may not have had the opportunity to grow melons or have a small garden near her house (well, trailer in this case), she was constantly reading books about foraging and farming, overflowing with dreams of having her own green place. Soon her dream came true, and all the theory they read was not wasted. Of course, the young teacher will definitely have difficulties, as this is not a small garden but a huge farm, but she will adapt quite well. 7/10, very nice.

4.5/10 for Maru. Actually, she's been a great helper on the farm from the beginning, only her area of expertise was different. Maru will easily fix any broken oil maker or calculate the proportions of minerals for fertiliser, but when asked to take care of the vegetable garden, the young inventor will definitely fall into a stupor. Still, I'm sure she will get used to it, because Maru is a genius, and if she can create an intelligent robot, she can handle growing strawberries as well.

I was going to give Haley the same number of points as Elliott, but I thought her trying to learn how to interact with cows and my idea that she wanted to learn about growing sunflowers deserved another point. So let it be 2/10. Yes, very low, but Haley used to be squeamish of any dirt and smells, so farm life, which is just full of dirt and smells (especially from the barn) will be a bit difficult for a girl.

In general, Leah's knowledge is closer to foraging than to farming, but the talented artist is definitely not afraid of hard work, and has a basic knowledge of growing crops. She definitely offered her then (future) spouse help on the farm several times. Yes, it was flirting, but Leah was actually willing to help carry seeds and water the plants, even had something to share about growing mushrooms on stumps. 7.5/10, she's a great fit.

On the one hand, Abigail has some experience in farming, as Pierre definitely asked her for help in his small vegetable garden behind the shop. On the other hand, the purple-haired girl didn't really show much interest in all this and she seemed to lack patience with plants and flowers before. It's different now, but Abby thought at times that her father and mother's chatter about plants was for a reason after all. 4/10, not too great, but not all bad either.

Emily takes care of the flowers in the house, so some knowledge she has. She loves nature and being outside, that's undeniable. Farming skills? Well... yes and no. Emily is a hard-working bee, but almost all of her time has been taken up at the Saloon, cleaning the house, and a passion for tailoring, so she doesn't have much experience. Still, it's there, and I'd give it a 5/10, but more because of the fact that Emily definitely takes good care of the animals ("My friends")

_________________________________________

So, from best to worst (SDV bachelors):

№1: Shane; №2: Alex; №3: Sebastian; №4: Sam; №5: Harvey; №6: Elliott.

From best to worst (sdv bachelorettes):

№1: Leah; №: Penny; №3: Emily; №4: Maru; №5: Abigail; №6: Haley.

[girljpg]

throws up. this clinic wants to know if i'd be interested in a position under a supervising clinician while being able to see actual patients (<- the goal!!!) but alas. i'm not due for supervision hours yet ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

[artificial-transmutations]

Hey I'm George. I am a 26 civil engineer working in a big company but it si not what i expected. It is so boring and I am only doing it since it ws what is expected of me. I wish you could transform me into a hot stripper or porn star cause that's has always been my secret dream. I don't wanna be transformed into an object.

Transformation Letters - The gay club

Even writing the letter to the unknown company has been an act of rebellion. All your life, you have been doing what was expected of you. You finished school with good grades and enrolled in an engineering degree program.

The first years were alright. It was still interesting, and you enjoyed the classes, but slowly you had to come to the realization that perhaps, engineering wasn't quite for you. The work was getting more and more monotonous, and the tasks were less and less creative. Regardless, you graduated with an acceptable degree and got a job in the field as a civil engineer.

Now, almost three years later, you are sitting in a small office cubicle, doing the same stuff that you did in the last few years.

"I hate it here.", you think and look at the blueprints on the wall. They are supposed to be "motivating", showing what your company builds. To you, however, they are nothing more than a reminder that the work is dull and unfulfilling.

As you get up and grab the coffee from the machine, you realize just how much of a rut your life has fallen into. Looking at the calendar on the wall, you recognize another thing: It's your birthday today. Yay. 26 wasted years, at least in your opinion. You don't have many friends or family, but for once, you decide to celebrate a bit on your own. You are going to visit a club tonight.

Some hours later, you find yourself in a gay nightclub. You are not out or anything, but your sexuality has been a matter of fact to you for some years now, so visiting a gay bar is on your bucket list anyway. The thumbing music surrounds you, making it near impossible to talk to anyone and even though it feels kind of exciting to be in such a location, you can't help but feeling kind of lonely and displaced here. Seeing all those hot guys dancing makes it terribly obvious for you that you are way too uptight to ever move your body to the music like that.

But... Perhaps you should just... try?

The thought is entirely alien to you, but... strangely appealing. So, you just try to dance to the music.

At first, it feels very awkward and a bit uncomfortable, but after a few moments, you relax. And, to your big surprise, you actually manage to move your body along with the beat. As your self-confidence grows, so does the speed and forcefulness of your movements. Before you know it, you have attracted the attention of a group of three men. Normally, being the center of attention would be something you despise, but right now it feels liberating and right. So right, in fact, that you do something crazy! The stage is empty right now, and, following these strange new impulses, you climb onto the stage and begin to dance to the music. You are still wearing your work attire and it is quickly becoming way too warm as you move your body. So, without thinking, you slowly begin to unbutton your shirt.

To your amazement, the crowd begins to cheer and applaud. It is like a wave of acceptance and approval washes over you, and the more buttons you undo, the more enthusiastic the cheering becomes. It is somehow getting easier and easier to follow the beat. Both your sense of rhythm as well as your physical fitness seem to increase and moving to the music quickly becomes a second nature for you. When you have finally unbuttoned your shirt, you slide out of it and spin it around your hand a few times before throwing it into the crowd. A bunch of hands shoot up, and the shirt quickly disappears. You keep moving to the music, now only wearing a white undershirt, which sticks to your skin and reveals your well-toned body. You have been working out once in a while, trying to keep yourself fit with mediocre success, but even you are a bit surprised how well your body looks right now. Your muscles are defined and bulging and when you pull the undershirt off as well, the cheers rise to an almost deafening level.

It feels like a wave of energy rushes through your body. You can barely think straight and the only thing you can focus on is the music and the movement. You have already gotten used to being the center of attention, but now, even more people join the crowd around you. They are staring at your body, and you can clearly make out their lust and admiration, making you smile. The next thing to go, is, of course, your pants, which you slowly peel off and, as with the shirt, throw them into the crowd, where they disappear as well.

Your movements are becoming faster and faster, and soon, you have almost completely shed your clothes, revealing your athletic and lean body, now shining with sweat. Your ample bulge is thinly veiled by your pair of bright blue briefs that do their best to set your assets, both your dick and your ass, into scene...

***

Hey, I’m Elias, a 22yo bartender with a French and Linguistics degree at University, though sometimes I wish I could trade smarts for sports and strength. I don’t think I’m unattractive, I never have much problem getting attention from guys at the club, but I feel like guys just look at me like I’m another pale twink with brown hair and hazel eyes. I don’t want to be an object, I like being a man: I just want to be more manly. Muscles and beard, I want to look powerful and have other guys be jealous of me.

It's a usual Friday evening for you, and you are tending bar in the towns gay club as usual. It's not too bad - your twinkish body usually gets you some tips, and today is no different. There are times, however, that you wish you were just a bit more... manly. Of course, everyone always wants to be what they are not. But seeing those sexy guys every day, made of beef and manliness makes you almost hate your thin and slender form. That is, after all, what made you write that letter some weeks ago, even though you already forgot about it by now.

All of a sudden, one of the club's visitors climbs onto the stage. Even though it's empty right now, people aren't supposed to go up there, for insurance reasons. Apparently, nobody else has noticed, so you decide to handle the situation yourself. You tell your colleague on the bar that you will be right back and then make your way to the stage.

The guy who has climbed up there seems to be some kind of office worker and is apparently completely focused on dancing. You just want to tell him to come down from the stage when he begins to unbutton his shirt in the rhythm of the music. Having forgotten what you meant to do for a moment, you stare, mesmerized at the guy on stage slowly getting out of his shirt. He looks quite attractive and moves his body like a pro. The crowd notices the show, and slowly, the whole scene becomes the focus of attention. The office guy has now spun his shirt around and thrown it into the crowd, which has now grown considerably. You have to admit, the whole show and the guy look kind of sexy. Not your usual type, he has more of a lean and athletic body that is revealed more and more with every move he takes. Still, he is good.

Next to you, directly in front of the stage, one of the red faux leather chairs has just become free, as the guy who sat in it went to get some drinks. The crowd is moving constantly and, without really thinking, you take a seat there. The office worker is still dancing, his sweaty body almost glowing, and his bulge looks impressively large, even in the low lighting of the club. You can feel yourself getting hard, and through your suit pants, you feel yourself up discreetly.

Actually.

Fuck discreetly. You rub your crotch through your pants while your eyes are still glued to the stripper on stage. Your mind is slowly going blank. You don't notice how the other bar patrons slowly stop moving to the music and gather around the stage instead, watching the office guy perform. You are completely entranced, unable to think, just staring at the spectacle in front of you, while your cock strains against the fabric of your pants.

Actually, your cock is not the only thing straining against your clothes. It is as if all your body is expanding, in every direction, all at once: Your shoulders, your arms, and your legs widen and grow thicker, while your ass and muscles swell. At the same time, the first hints of stubble and beard hairs break through your skin.

Your suit feels constricting, and you consider getting up to go to the bathroom to get out of them. But...

Actually.

Fuck modesty. With more raw strength than elegance, you remove your clothing while you still can. Your body continues to grow stronger and stronger and when your chest is bared, your nipples have hardened to the point where they seem like small pebbles.

It feels so fucking good to just get out of the clothes that are becoming more and more uncomfortable with every passing second. You watch with a superior smile as hair also grows on your chest and abs, as well as on your legs and arms, making your whole torso look furry.

When your pants are gone, your underwear is the only piece of clothing left on you.

And fuck, that's getting really tight!

But, as you watch, it is morphing into a different material. What was once a pair of cotton boxer briefs quickly becomes a pair of black shiny leather underwear, pronouncing the growing bulge of your hard cock. The bulge is, of course, not only growing because you're rock-hard: Also, inside the alien pair of leather underwear, your member is growing bigger and bigger with each throb, slowly becoming a true monster cock.

Other parts of you don't seem to be stopping growing larger as well: Your biceps are more than impressive right now, your forearms look like you can crush a watermelon with them and your thighs are as thick as tree trunks.

As the music keeps playing, the hair on your body grows denser and longer. You now have a manly full beard, and, as you cross your strong arms behind your head, a thick bush of hair emerges from each of your armpits, flooding the direct vicinity with your manly stench.

You grin as you look up to the stripper, who is just about to shed his pair of blue underwear and lick your lips. After the show, you're gonna take him home and breed him!

[venbetta]

I'm not sure if anyone's ever thought about this or has made a post about it, but I figured I'd add my own two cents if someone did talk about this.

// Ruin spoilers ahead

mostly about Freddy

So, seeing that headless Freddy has prototype written on the bottom of his foot, it's suggested or even theorized that our Freddy (the one we're with in SB) was a prototype this entire time.

Of course, like many others, I was very skeptical and in denial about the idea because why the hell would that be a thing? How is he a prototype? It wasn't there on his foot in the base game, so why this sudden change?

I kinda hated it, and as a way to cope, I theorized that maybe it wasn't the same Freddy and FazEnt just replaced him with another copy and then abandoned him... don't ask me how that particular Freddy became headless either. Also I was wobbling between the "True Ending" being the Canon one, I was back and forth and just trying to figure out what would've made sense.

My logic for the True Ending being canon was, maybe Freddy and Gregory both got out (alongside Vanessa) with glamdaddy intact, and they're just living life. Meanwhile, Faz Ent just made a new Freddy while fixing the plex but gave up and left everything to rot. Of course I know now that makes no sense or explains why/how the 2nd Freddy lost his head, but it's what I came up with. The PQ Ending is technically canon... so that was a waste of a braincell, hah...

Since fnaf has the tendency to rewrite/add things to the story, I think our Glamrock Freddy being a prototype is something I've accepted. Now, there are a few things I thought of that might add to the idea of him being a prototype (not confirmed but more speculative).

He's a high-tech, sentient AI robot, he can clearly experience human emotion (like the other glamrocks) and has decent mobility. What most likely seperates him from the other glams is the fact that he experiences existentialism. I know we don't see much from the other glams, what they think of their current situation (not even from Roxy in Ruin), they aren't fully aware of what they are or what they're doing (as far as we know). Their programming is focused on being entertainers and birthdays.

I'm not gonna say that the other glams aren't able to express deeper thoughts, but I think this is where I might be stretching this idea just a bit.

If you're going to make AI bots who can adapt and be flexible with their environment, there's gotta be some kind of limit of what they can say/think/do. Freddy is the prime example of not having that limitation since we see/hear him express concern about not being the only Glamrock Freddy that's walking around:

"Have I always been a Freddy? Am I Monty with a different shell? What if I am not the first Glamrock Freddy? ... Do we all feel the same? Am I special? If I am mass-produced, am I still art?" (Endo Warehouse)

This motherfucker literally commits arson:

"You sure collected a lot of toys! Perhaps we can do something to stop whatever is going on here." (Fire escape Ending)

When he goes to the basement and encounters the blob, he goes on this monologue:

"I know what this is. I have been here before. She brought me here. I found myself for the first time when I cleared the path. I did not want to, but I had no choice. Now I have a choice. I have changed. My friends are here. They are so angry, confused. But I can protect you. I am not me." (True Ending)

He ultimately goes against some of his programming to help a child in need-- even lie to a security guard-- which if he were set to do as he's told, he would've sent Gregory straight to Vanessa, even with Gregory adamantly telling him not to.

If he were programmed to be strict and not break any protocols, he'd would've gotten Gregory killed immediately.

I'm saying this because if we're being realistic (realistic in terms of how we usually program robots and things), there are barriers in what a robot/ai can really say/do that doesn't break its programming. If he's a prototype, Freddy wouldn't have those barriers to stop him from saying/doing most of the things he did in SB. I know there's another factor to him behaving kindly to Gregory and that's him being in safe mode, but even still... you would think he would follow the rules and not let Gregory do certain things and perhaps unintentionally get the boy killed.

I'm going back to the existential crisis Freddy has, because for something that's meant to be an animatronic mascot for kids, you wouldn't want him to make the children around him question the meaning of being alive and sentient. There would have to be some sort of guard against having those kind of thoughts and ideas. It makes Freddy more interesting, especially if he could've been easily replaced with a finalized version of him that did what he was suppose to.

Also, I know it's probably more widely accepted that either Vanny or Gregory hacked into Freddy, causing his collapse during the opening. With him being a prototype, maybe his systems couldn't handle that type of an advanced hack, unlike the other glams, making him unable to be properly hacked into in the beginning.

Not only that, there are some issues he has with performing, who knows, maybe he's had collapses before. We don't know.

Him being unable to enter the West Arcade:

"When I step onto the West Arcade dance floor I cannot stop myself! It is a programming bug." (West Arcade)

I'm aware him being in safe mode meant he's disconnected from the main network as well keeps him docile. While the "Afton" fight isn't technically canon, with the other upgrades on Freddy, those parts might have made him more susceptible to the virus attack. There's not much evidence pointing to the other glams not being prototypes but seeing how they each have upgrades while Freddy doesn't, that might hint that the others were mostly finalized, meaning their systems were properly functioning (aside from the virus of course).

Sorry if this was super long, but it's something I thought about and I had to put it in words. Nothing about Glamrock Freddy is normal, like he's not possessed (I use to believe in the glammike theory but I don't anymore eh...), but he's a prototype! He's gonna act all funky because he's not polished yet... and I think that's very interesting and endearing (in an odd way).

[starlightsearches]

Hard one here… Clyde or Kylo??

Love you, Honeybear

This is a tough one, but I'm in desperate need of that big, broad, sweet man as my personal body pillow. I also wrote this in honor of me finally finishing my fucking masters program.

AN: this is all fluff! mentions of clyde carrying the reader a short distance, and some language

Make me choose and I'll write a fic!

You’ve fallen asleep on your keyboard.

Clyde steps into the trailer, holding the edge of the screen door so it doesn’t slam. He’d hate to wake you, and that thing rattles like nothing else—especially when it’s late like this and the night is quiet outside.

It’s a good thing he’s so careful, too. ‘Cause you’re not in the bedroom, like he thought you’d be. Curled up instead on his well-worn couch, cradled by the sagging cushions and using your fancy little laptop as a pillow.

Again.

“Sweet pea,” Clyde huffs, dropping to one knee beside you, shaking you softly so you won’t startle, “what’re you doin?”

You wake with a little jump anyways, eyes wide—afraid, maybe—until you see him, shoulders falling as you curl into the warm weight of his palm at your neck.

“Hmm, homework.”

Your voice is raspy, heavy with disuse, like it usually is in the mornings when you’re pulling him closer underneath the covers and has him going runny in his middle. Clyde wonders how long you’ve been dozing off like this, although the little square indents on your cheek are some indication.

“It’s a little late for homework, bug,” he tells you, glancing over at the clock on the counter. The power’s spotty out this way, and so the numbers on its little digital face are blinking more often than not—no matter how hard Clyde tries to keep up with it—this time flashing 2:12 at a steady rythym.

You frown, rubbing the indents from the keys off your cheek, “gotta finish this.”

Clyde’s not sure what this is, but he’s got a good feeling that you’re overemphasizing the urgency, as you usually do with most of your work, panicking about deadlines and due dates and papers and projects. But it’s always worked out in your favor before, and you're closer than ever to the graduation date—the one circled in red on the calendar stuck to Clyde's fridge.

Some of the regulars at the bar tease him about it, wondering at him if it has Clyde bothered that you’re so accomplished—a word that sounds like an insult when it's coming from their mouths. Talking about how they’d never let the women in their lives waste their money on some fancy piece of paper—which is probably why they don’t have any women of their own.

Clyde doesn’t mind. Always liked the way the stress ebbs from you when he takes you in his arms, rubbing soothing patterns over you’re shoulders, hearing you talk through you’re problems using words he doesn’t know and the smile that stretches over your face when you’ve finally found the solution.

It’s one of his favorite things about you.

“You oughta go to bed,” he tells you, cupping your cheek in his big hand, tracing a little path over the apple with his thumb.

You groan, low, shifting deeper into the couch, “it’s too far.”

That's something Clyde's happy to help you with.

His hands slip easily under your shoulders, and the crook of your knees, shimmying you in nice and close to his chest so there's no pull on his prosthetic.

You make another grumpy sound against his chest.

"Clyde, 'm too heavy."

It doesn't feel that way to him when he stands straight, walking the short distance from the couch to the bedroom. Much better than helping Jimmy off his ass when he's had a few too many drinks, anyway. He wants to keep you this close all the time.

Clyde sets you down gently over the lumpy comforter, but you don't even give him the chance to stand back up, pulling him on to you by the collar of his shirt.

He lands on you with a little huff, rolling to the side so he won't hurt you with all his weight on you.

That just makes you climb on him, head on his chest, one of your legs sandwiched between his. Even with his boots still on, smelling like stale beer, Clyde's never slept better.

[etirabys]

I've been experimenting with "identifying as stupid and lazy" and it's going pretty well. This month I went to a Javascript meetup with the explicit goal of being slightly stupid there, got into an AI conversation, said a few coherent things, and then mentioned I just didn't want to put in the work into understanding e.g. transformers. Also I said as a simplification that I'd flunked out of linear algebra in college which isn't true (I got an A in linalg but flunked out of the ML course where linalg was heavily in use) but felt. WEIRDLY. pleasurable to say.

When I talked about this on Discord, one of them brought up Stupidism, which is from a good post @mark-gently made. But there's something about my wanton dignity-discarding that goes several steps further from Stupidism and feels very liberating.

Last year I read a weird... pagan?... book, Existential Kink, that invites you to notice how much of your life is shaped to bring about outcomes you supposedly hate, and how you secretly take joy in those outcomes. This seems false for the majority of things one tries to avoid, but leaning into it sure is interesting to try out! And I'm finding it is surprisingly true for "coming off as stupid".

There's something absurdly joyful/thrilling about deciding to go to a meetup and presenting as a moron. Some years ago I would have gone NOOO at the thought, and now I feel like an adrenaline junkie being invited to a new type of gambling event or weird sex thing.

I fully expect to tire of "identifying/presenting as stupid and lazy", but when I move on from it I expect to be more integrated or whatever. Less afraid of being stupid and lazy because I've just gone and done it openly.

One of the stupid things I said at the Javascript meetup was that I hate using libraries in almost full generality. I'm too lazy to read docs or troubleshoot my calls to other people's code. Someone recced me a different meetup for people who roll their own tooling, but warned me it was all male, because he knew I'd found all-male programming contexts stressful in the past.

In college I tended to not even really notice if a lab or a team was all male, because I was a top-half student and just felt totally secure about being in class. But I became phobic of it in jobs because I'm usually the worst dev in any remotely selective workplace, and being the worst dev AND the only woman sucks. I was ashamed of being bad at my job, obviously, but I was mortified at being the entity that diversity posters and mandatory trainings point at to say "if you think women are like that you are a terrible person and causing problems in society". But... I am like that. I guess for society's good I need to hide this as hard as possible?

(I solved this by going to a much less selective workplace and almost explicitly saying "I will be kind of a bad programmer, but I come cheap". I am pretty happy now.)

So, given that I got twisted up by that employment record, current me is delighted at the thought of being openly dumb at an all-male CS meetup. This wouldn't be good for the men (some of whom Want To Unlearn Sexism, etc) nor for Women In Tech, but it would be good for ME. Time to abandon class consciousness and defect on women for my own gain.

It is, well, yeah, existentially kinky to imagine going to this meetup and cheerfully asking dumb questions & occasionally responding with "I don't think I'm ever going to understand that, sorry, you should stop explaining that because I don't want to waste your time".

[the-resurrection-3d]

THEY SAID I DID SOMETHING BAD: a musical about the life and times of the unabomer, by taylor swift.

(Spotify Link) (Inspiration, provided by @significationary)

[Disclaimer: I'm not an expert on this guy, although I have notated which changes I made and cited my sources down at the bottom. I also tried to include at least one song from every Taylor Swift album. Feel free to suggest other songs I could have used!]

ACT I: OUR COMING OF AGE HAS COME AND GONE

I Did Something Bad  — Having attempted suicide while in police custody, Ted Kaczynski prepares for trial, refusing to let his lawyers use the insanity defense. In the end, after a failed attempt at representing himself, Ted pleads guilty to 13  federal charges in exchange for life in prison.

They say I did something bad,  Then why’s it feel so good? Most fun I ever had! And I’d do it over and over and over again If I could…

seven / this is me trying (mashup) - As a small child, Ted is hospitalized and isolated following an allergic reaction; reports allege this had a strong effect on his personality. Nevertheless, Ted's younger brother, David, describes him as kind and protective. Ted skips two grades in his early schooling, but is othered for being smaller than the other children and too “different” due to his intelligence. At 16, Ted goes to Harvard on a scholarship to study math.

Please picture me In the trees I hit my peak at seven feet In the swing Over the creek I was too scared to jump in… And I just wanted you to know that this is me trying… 

Tell Me Why - While at Harvard, Ted is subjected to repeated verbal abuse by his professor, Henry A. Murray, who was part of a CIA program code-named Project MK-Ultra. The program sought to understand how to implement mind-control techniques, including using drugs such as LSD, although there is no evidence that Ted was ever drugged while at Harvard. 

Here's to you and your temper Yes, I remember what you said last night And I know that you see what you're doing to me Tell me why

Guilty as Sin? - In 1966, Ted experiences an intense sexual desire to become a woman, even deciding to undergo gender transition. 

I keep these longings locked, In lowercase inside a vault…

 I Hate It Here - Upon arriving at his therapy appointment to begin transitioning, however, Ted changes his mind, and never mentions to the psychiatrist why he originally wanted to meet. Afterward, he considers killing the psychiatrist and several other people.

I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind People need a key to get to The only one is mine I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears I'm there most of the year Cause I hate it here...

this is me trying (reprise) - After graduating, Ted gets a teaching job at Berkeley, but has a hard time delivering lectures and avoids his students. He suddenly resigns from his position in 1969. 

They told me all of my cages were mental, So I got wasted like all my potential…

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart  - Ted moves back to Chicago to work at the same factory as his brother and begins a relationship with a woman at work. Due to Ted’s sexual harassment of her following a sour breakup, David, his supervisor, has to fire him.* Ted moves to Montana into a cabin him and his brother had built.

I can read your mind… “She’s having the time of his life…” There in her glittering prime The lights refract sequined stars off her silhouette every night I can show you lies...

ACT II: AND IN THE DEATH OF HER REPUTATION, SHE FELT TRULY ALIVE 

the lakes / I Hate It Here (Reprise) / Clean - In his cabin, Ted lives in near-total isolation, hunting and growing his own food, and spending much of his time reading. It is here Ted develops his anti-government, anti-technology philosophy. 

I'm not cut out for all these cynical clones These hunters with cell phones… Ten months older, I won't give in Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it So take me to the lakes, I hate it here…

I Know Places - Ted, trying to convince his brother to join him, reminiscences on them building this cabin together.]

Baby, I know places we won't be found, and They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down 'Cause I, I know places we can hide…

closure - As Ted becomes increasingly unhinged, the letters between him and his brother grow increasingly fraught, and the waits between them increasingly long. David invites Ted back to civilization but Ted refuses, thinking David is simply ashamed of having a “failed” brother. 

Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled I'm fine with my spite And my tears And my beers and my candles…

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? - Between 1978 and 1996, Ted sends 16 bombs to various universities, airlines,  computer stores, and industry figures. He kills three people and injures many more. 

I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean "Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth" Who's afraid of little old me? Well, you should be

ACT III:  FROM HOUSE TO CARDIAC ARREST 

Cold as You / Dear John (mashup)-  David reads the Unabomber’s manifesto in the newspaper and recognizes the writing style and ideas as those of his brother. After reflecting on his strained relationship with Ted, David turns him in to the FBI and uses the reward money to set up the Unabom Survivors Fund.

And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors Who don't understand And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said "Run as fast as you can" And now that I'm sittin' here thinkin' it through I've never been anywhere cold as you 

Who’s Afraid (Reprise) / Look What You Made Me Do - On April 3, 1996, federal investigators arrested Kaczynski at his cabin in Montana. 

Oo, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me...

Cassandra - In his cell, Ted reflects on the growing popularity of the ideas expressed in his manifesto.**

So, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say Do you believe me now?

exile / The Last Time - David and Ted have their last conversation. During the trial, Ted never makes eye contact nor speaks to his family. In prison, he never answers their letters.

This is the last time I'm asking you this Put my name at the top of your list This is the last time I'm asking you why You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye All this time I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) So many signs, so many signs…

hoax - Alone in his cell, Ted reflects on his brother’s betrayal. 

You knew the password, so I let you in the door You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart But what you did was just as dark

Dear Reader / ME! - In June of 2023, Ted is found unresponsive and is pronounced dead later that day. The death is officially ruled a suicide. Inside his cell, guards find a letter — a suicide note? A letter to a fan? No one can say for certain.

You should find another guiding light Guiding light But I shine so bright  I promise that you’ll never find another like me!

---------

* In reality, Ted moves to his cabin in Montana in the early 1970s, and doesn’t return to Chicago until 1978. I switched these events around for the sake of imaginary time constraints and to produce a more streamlined narrative. 

** If you’ve ever heard the meme “The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race,” this is where it comes from.

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

[bridgeportbritt]

A Fresh Start Rehabilitation Center | Cypress, SimDonia

???: Who could be here for me? Mom and Dad would've called first.

Arabella nervous: Hey there...

???: Oh, my Watcher! Arabella??

Arabella: Hey, Alex.

Alex: I can't believe you're- how did you-? Oh, my Watcher.

Arabella: I hope you're not mad.

Alex: Mad? no! I'm confused, but I'm so happy to see you! How'd you find me here?

Arabella: Umm... we're best friends with the Queen.

Alex: Really? Diana sent you here?

Arabella: We've been worried about you, so she had someone do some digging. Once we found you here, we knew we needed to see you in person. Diana wishes she could be here, but..

Alex: I understand. Gosh, I'm just happy to see you. Sorry, I said that already. Let's sit and catch up.

Alex: So, how is Diana? You've seen her recently?

Arabella: Yeah, she's doing good. Busy, of course. Seems like she's been pregnant forever. Won't be long now.

Alex: Aw, and you?

Arabella: Well, we just had little Madeliene not to long ago. I don't think I've seen you since I had Jayme.

Alex: Wow, three little ones? You guys aren't wasting no time. Gosh, I feel like I've missed a lot.

Arabella: Yeah, it was like you fell off the face of the earth there. What happened?

Alex: Right... well, it's kind of a long story, but after the wedding fiasco... I was really struggling.

Alex upset: I tried my best to keep it together for the coronation. It was just... seeing her again. Knowing that because of me... my best friend almost...

Arabella: Alex, no one blames you for that.

Alex: Yeah, I kept trying to tell myself that. But, after the coronation.. I just... kind of went off the deep end.

The rest of this post describes substance abuse, alcohol, and drugs. Please read at your own risk.

Alex: The partying, the drinking, the drugs. I was spiraling out of control hard and fast. I- I didn't even recognize myself anymore.

Arabella: Oh, Alex...

Alex: I was just so torn up with guilt and I hated myself for even dating that guy. I felt so violated and used. And I just let everybody down once again with my stupid choices.

Arabella sobbing: I'm so sorry you were going through that, Alex! We should've paid more attention and been there for you!

Alex: No, don't think that, Arabella, really. You were living your life! I was a mess and isolating myself on purpose. Eventually, my parents caught on and sent me here.

Arabella: I'm so glad for that. I... know life is crazy and we don't see each other as much, but... I don't know what I'd do without you. You're my best friend.

Alex: Thanks, Belle. Even though being here sucked at first, it's working its magic, I guess. I've been sober for 5 months, therapy 3 times a week, group twice, activities up the ass.

Arabella: That's amazing, Alex. I'm so proud of you!

Alex: Thanks. Plus, I kind of met someone..

Arabella: Oh, really?

Alex: Yeah, his brother's a patient here. But, my dad's company works with his. He owns a clothing brand. Or "lifestlye apparel" as he likes to call it. He's cool.

Arabella: He sounds like the most normal guy you've ever dated.

Alex laughs: I know, right? No "salarypersons" from Mt. Komorebi this time around. We're just friends for now. Gotta stay focused on the program. But, I only have 3 months left, so... who knows?

Arabella: Wow, that's a really mature way to go about it. I am so impressed, Alex. You're killing it! You're so much stronger than you realize. I can't wait to see how you flourish after this.

Alex: Thanks, I'm excited to. Feels like - ugh - a fresh start.

Arabella chuckles: Ah, that's why they call this place that... Well, care to show me around? Let me into Alex's world?

Alex: Sure, since it's a little less messy.

[korpuskat]

For gunk-ice-tea’s RaMayttra prompts, Day 26: Enraged. Rating: PG/Teen WC: 777 Warnings: Fighting, hurt no comfort

=====

It was a failure. Months of planning, of production, reviewing and updating dozens of iterations of designs, all that he had done was now scrap in the streets of France. All a waste- time, resources, his energy. Nothing came from it- nothing! He'd lost his compatriots and still he had nothing to show for it!

His faceplate is incapable of emoting, and yet you can see the tension rise in him. The squaring of his shoulders, the hum of his processes ramping up- and the soft crunching of glass as his fist closes around a data cube. Tiny shards fall from his hand, glittering in the bright display of the screens before him. He pays no attention, doesn't even realize it's shattered. On screen, an omnic talks to a reporter, describes how Overwatch saved him from a Titan. An omnic. You don't want to look to him again.

"Fool!" Ramattra spits, "A coward groveling at the feet of our oppressors, do they really think I would let my army harm our people? I'm trying to save them!"

Metal groans behind you- and if you had to guess he's crushed a dent into the table. You turn carefully, slowly. I'd never hurt you, he'd sworn to you, but you can't entirely summon that trust now. He's spent years keeping his rage carefully leashed- saving it for the personal, gratifying nature of using his fists to overcome resistance. Now it's different. Like it's humming just under the surface, itching for an ounce of satisfying destruction. His base programming is scratching at the edges of his thoughts, HUD lining up combatants.

"Ramattra," It's as much a plea in itself as a call for his attention. His head barely moves, but you can feel the burning of his optics focused on you. It is different. You resist the need to squirm under his hateful gaze. "It's one battle. There will be more."

"One battle." Ramattra repeats quietly. A calm before the storm. You picked wrong. "With every battle we lose my people are suffering, dying. Only a human could see that as an acceptable loss!"

You grit your teeth and fight the urge to rise to his bait. "I didn't say that. I meant-"

His thoughts are racing, processes running out of control. "Oh, I know what you meant," He stands slowly, "You meant to remind me that this war is ongoing, that I've managed to underestimate bunch of a bickering, clueless humans! I somehow forgot the only thing you beasts love more than destroying yourselves is destroying omnics!"

It's all you can do to stand up straight, to stare up into the black rectangles of his faceplate. Rage- you hold on to your rage, let it make you brave just long enough. Your eyes may water and your lip may wobble, but you won't break down here. "Not all of us."

It's a line Ramattra has heard before- and yet this time it's ice water to his circuits. He can see now, pulls back from the tunnel vision- his HUD is flashing red, warnings of run away processes. His optics refocus, settle on your eyes- hard and hurt- helpless to watch as the first tear rolls over your cheek.

You turn and leave him, wiping your face as you go.

He feels- he feels- sick is what his vocabulary banks produce for him, unable to define the mix of shame and grief and regret and the still-lingering rage any better. Sick. He is... unwell, no- destabilized, like core processes have frozen mid-operation. No critical alerts ping in his memory, but he runs a self-check anyway. He must've- that's the only reason he would...

No, he knows. Ramattra looks down at his desk. On the left, there's a perfect imprint of his hand. On the right, the shining, glittering shards of the data cube he'd destroyed. He touches the dust, sweeps one finger through it.

He sinks back into his chair. The self-check dings complete, no errors found. He idly toys with considering his own repair system is faulty, but he knows. His temper has always been... a problem- his need for control, even if by pushing away what he cannot control. An essentialist would say it's in his very nature, unable to escape his original purpose. Ramattra cannot bring himself to disagree.

One by one he forces his locked-up actuators to disengage, releasing the tension across his body.

Later, he will stop by your quarters and apologize. He can't bring himself to do it yet- and you need time to calm down. Instead, he looks back to the screen and watches as they pan over the absolute destruction of Paris.

[coolfire333]

Oh! Did you have any thoughts you'd like to share on TLHOD?

Yeah, it's been a few years since I've read it but yes I have so many thoughts!!! Major spoilers ahead (this book is very old but warning just in case)

Ok so a little bit of backstory: it was 2019 or 2020, sophomore year of college and I was around 19-20 years old (can't remember if it was spring or fall). I was in the honors program and had to take this mandatory honors class called "great works" where we attempted (key word: attempted) to read what the professor considered classic or otherwise noteworthy pieces of literature

Only problems being my professor was as dull as all get out during lectures and we also had to read an obscene amount of books in a short period of time (my adhd struggles hadn't quite hit that year yet so it was a stupid amount of books in a short timeframe even for me to read) so overall despite the interest I had for literature it was an agonizing experience to be in that class

I skimmed through most of our assigned books because it was the only way to be able to comprehend enough about the plot of things to be able to participate and follow along in lecture

However with The Left Hand of Darkness I soon found myself enraptured by the worldbuilding and premise. A scifi book from the 60s, one written by a woman, at that? Color me intrigued. I love scifi and have an interest for older books, that and the 60s are one of my favorite time periods in history so I was immediately interested in actually sitting down to read this book instead of skimming through it

By god I wasted so much time that I probably should have used for doing other homework reading every square inch of this novel. I really need to read it more carefully again if I can because I did rush a bit and it has been like 5 years since I've read it but holy mackerel what a story

The Left Hand of Darkness is so important to me for several reasons, the first being that I think it's a good story, but also and perhaps most importantly because it expanded my knowledge of gender. I wasn't the most open minded about gender and nonbinary identity when I first started reading and I genuinely feel like I came out of the other end of the story with not only an appreciation for gender diversity that I didn't have before but also a better understanding of it.

Considering I'm bigender and genderqueer now, coming to terms with this book was probably my first step in starting to unravel my own gender identity, even if I didn't know it at the time. Funny sidenote but I'm pretty sure I was also grappling with my bisexuality (thanks to also being demiaroace and not knowing it, figuring yourself out orientation-wise is a lot harder) at the time and I had a bit of a crush on Estraven (and Genly for that matter although I already knew I liked men) and a deep fascination with the "gay but not exactly gay" relationship that Genly and Estraven have but I kinda went "don't have time to unpack what that means for my own sexuality" and shelved that part of myself for later analysis lol

Anyways, onto the story. It's been a while but Genly and Estraven's weird nebulous relationship throughout the story had me in a chokehold the entire time. What if I was in heat and we were both starving and freezing to death in a tent together and forced to share body heat to stay alive (and your telepathic voice is the same as the telepathic voice of my dead brother who killed himself after we were prohibited from continuing our incestuous relationship as a life bond)....surely this doesn't mean anything about how I feel about you...haha, jk....unless.......

Like for real the two of them hate and misunderstand each other at the start of the book and by the end of it there's this weird unspoken bond they have that clearly teeters on the romantic (which is interesting for both of them since Estraven sees Genly as obscenely sexual for his male-only gender and meanwhile Genly is confused by Estraven's lack of gender)

But then Estraven literally sacrifices himself to allow Genly to live...he dies in his arms and his last thought is just telepathically shouting his dead brother's name as if professing some kind of love for Genly while also being reminiscent of an "I'm going to join my dead former partner in the afterlife" type thing. Good lird...

Literally the last passage in the book (iirc) is Genly being like "well ok this sucks so bad but mission technically accomplished, time to go back to earth I guess" and then he is confronted with Estraven and Arek's son who's just like "was my dad (referring to Estraven) a hero? Did he die nobly?" and the book just ends there with the faint implication that Genly is going to tell him all about Estraven...like oh my goddddddddd the pain is eternal

I could go on and on about the interesting way Le Guin explores gender throughout the book but one thing that stood out to me was that the king had to have birthed a son himself (versus being the father of someone else's son) for that son to be considered a true heir. Idk it just was a really interesting take on gender and heritage imo, you'd expect it to be the other way around (like the birthed son doesn't count towards the king's lineage because patriarchal commentary) so seeing the opposite imo emphasized the alienness of their society really well in contrast to our own preconceptions of human gender roles

Also I see the critique of he/him and male terms being used for Estraven throughout the story but also the book is from Genly's perspective and iirc he has a touch of Earth Sexism so using he/him for everyone regardless of their genderlessness is actually a good choice in explaining Genly's perspective I think. I will say I'm partial to the idea that Estraven and others use they/them normally and then she/her or he/him if in heat depending on if they're feminine or masculine during but idk I think using he/him for everyone throughout is fine too because it's just one of those "this doesn't translate well to human society" moments

Another interesting point of conversation that was actually brought up by my professor at the time was that Genly is a black human from future earth and yet his race and relationship with racial identity as a black human specifically is never fully explored like his gender is in relation to the inhabitants of Gethen. I have no idea what to do with this information but it certainly is interesting considering the book was written in 1969

I get that Le Guin was white and probably didn't feel like she should comment on race (and maybe she just didn't have many thoughts on it) but she also made a clear choice to make Genly, the protagonist and pov character, a black intergalactic ambassador of Earth in a book written during the civil rights era...yeah I would certainly have liked to also see how Genly's race (as a black man not as a human because his humanity is clearly detailed) factored into the plot but idk it's just something I think about sometimes

[nobodyaskedformyopinion]

Let's all just grow tf up, please.

I don't understand why we're all so wrapped up in the lives of content creators as if they're more important than our own. Seriously, with the amount of discourse on the Dream situation in the past two days I feel like we've collectively wasted over a million hours on something that, at this point, has been talked in circles so much it's worn a goddamned hole in the space time continuum.

So let's do everyone a favor and follow this three step program:

1: Did you watch the video? No? Well, if you've got the time to be posting this much discourse you've got the time to watch it. And don't tell me you refuse to support someone that you hate, because if you aren't willing to listen to both sides of the story you are entirely unqualified to comment on it.

2: If you feel like you have something to say after watching the video, sure, make a post, I don't care. Obviously I did just that, I'm not going to be a hypocrite and tell people to stop talking about it entirely.

3: HOWEVER, once you've put in your two cents, for the love of god turn off the computer/put away your phone/step away from the Samsung smart fridge. Go outside. Clean your room. Hug your cat. Be a real human being instead of a faceless voice on the internet.

Fandom is a complicated place, it's wonderful to connect over your love of content but please let's remember to keep it about that instead of unfounded hatred. And always try to spend more of your day in the real world around you than in hungry-discourse-goblin mode. It's not healthy to take so much of your identity as a person from online spaces like this.

Right, now I'm going to follow my own advice and do some laundry. Maybe even shower... (still sick but finally getting better, I'm so glad I don't feel like a zombie anymore.)

[odysseywritings]

From Here to Eternity

@flashfictionfridayofficial

It's a good thing I'm born in this era. Space travel is becoming common, medicine has progressed to fantastic levels, and vehicles have become accessible no matter your ailment. But my dream of flying high crashed after a sports game severed my spinal cord.

I remember the pain from the accident, how much I missed moving freely, hating the knot in my spine. Little by little from medical procedures, my vertebrae healed enough to stave off depression, but I hated feeling like a burden to others. A few friends and a partner drifted into their own lives wanting to be free without responsibility.

I was desperate for something new when I heard about an experimental treatment using robotics and different fluids. Thankfully, I was ensured thanks to good social programs, so I was able to get in fairly quick.

After the anesthesia, I woke up and felt heavier yet freer, and the doctor showed me the results with a mirror and x rays. My spine, while still not fully healed, could bend in every direction thanks to the thick gluey liquid and the cybernetics realigning the damage areas. I looked like a cyborg from the rear with a column of blue-gray hexagons down my back, but despite the initial apprehension from looking different, I learned to appreciate this new take on my identity. I'm no different than someone with glasses or a wheelchair and yet I'm my own person.

My wounds healed fully after a few weeks and I could do physical activities like lifting and stretching or getting out of bed with more ease. I felt like dancing and running and climbing and all sorts of activities I took for granted! My thoughts sobered when I remembered how others in my situation, even as recent as the 20th and early 21st centuries, had to readjust their entire life from one event.

I knew I couldn't waste time following my dreams in case something worse happened. I enlisted for an astronomy flight while my movement stabilized. As I left Earth's gravity and orbit, I felt weightless, just like after the surgery. What if this could be the future for everyone, where no one would be limited to their own grounds, able to live without pain? Some day, maybe in my lifetime, everyone could gain the gifts of supportive technology.

[crusherthedoctor]

3, 5, 6, 13

Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

No. I would only unfollow someone if they're being extremely unreasonable, and their asshole behaviour is escalating.

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

*looks over at Sonamy*

I was always indifferent to it, but the sheer spectacle made over it has made me beyond sick of it. In fanworks, Sonic is often made OoC for the sake of the ship, or his side of the matter in general is an afterthought at best, because it's said that Amy deserves his love because "she's earned it". They'll waste valuable question time on the Twitter Takeovers over Sonamy stuff. If Sonic and Amy are onscreen together for even a moment, no matter what it is they're actually doing, everyone will hail it as proof of Sonamy. And of course, they'll go crazy when they actually do tease it, using it to shut everyone else up because "Sonamy is Canon, deal with it", even if that teasing is incredibly minor and fated to never go anywhere.

It's a weird feeling looking at all the Sonamy VS Sonally wars over the decades, and not giving a solitary fuck about either of them. And yes, this was already the case long before a certain cardinal sin was initiated on my end. *coughs over horse noises in the background*

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

Can't think of any.

Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Sonic: I'm sick of people going one extreme or the other with him. He's not Mr. Principles, nor is he completely selfish to the point of only helping others for his own enjoyment. And I especially dislike when fans misinterpret his role in Black Knight and use it to claim that he's a full on anti-hero. No, he's a legit hero and good person who just so happens to enjoy what he does rather than adopting the usual superhero mantra, and has to make the occasional tough decision for the good of the long run for everyone. What's hard to get about that?

Tails: "I'm wildly inconsistent" does not count as fixing him. Neither does repeating the exact thing that Forces!Tails got slack for to an even more inexcusable extent.

Knuckles: The idea that he tries to see the good in people despite his standoffish nature is fascinating to me, and it's a shame that it's only been brought up for the sake of making him look stupid when he falls for another one of Eggman's tricks. It'd be nice if this got delved into more, in a way where it doesn't screw him over for once… Just don't turn him into Principles the Echidna.

Amy: Like @colony-drop-program, I recognize the… importance(?) of Amy's crush on Sonic, but I find all her other traits infinitely more intriguing.

I also wish people would remember Tails was the one who actually blasted his way through Prison Island. It's become common for fans to give Amy all the credit for that one.

Bean and Bark: Not that I'm super invested in them or anything, but I suppose it'd be nice if they got more opportunities to be the good guys they were intended to be rather than always being pigeonholed with Fang as the Hooligans thanks to Archie. Fang strikes me as a loner type anyway.

Shadow: I don't think I'll ever be on-board with him officially joining G.U.N. I'm fine with him forgiving them, and maybe having a connection of some sort with them afterward, but being a full-on agent himself? I dunno man. After his long life as Gerald and Black Doom's tool, I'd rather he carve out a future where he can be truly free, without needing to answer to any superior.

Rouge: She's not a villain. She's not a villain. She's not a villain. She's. Not. A. Villain.

The entire point of her role in SA2 is that, oh shit, she was only pretending to be on the bad guys' side, and ever since SA2, she's been a loyal ally to Shadow and helped out the other heroes with little hesitance on multiple occasions. She may be a jewel thief, she may have her rivalry with Knuckles, but she's proven time and time again that she's a far better person than most people and comic writers give her credit for.

Cream: I've seen some Amy fans hate on her for supposedly stealing some of Amy's traits, but that's a disservice to her. You can have more than one character in a franchise with similar traits, since they can be explored from different angles. Compare this to a character like Eggman Nega, who really is nothing more than a leech who requires the real Eggman to be split in half in order to seem more impressive.

Silver: Of the many reasons why I'm not interested in him, one is that his schtick gets old very quickly. There's always something to turn his future into yet another Bad Future, and after a while it becomes comical how often his efforts to avert one catastrophe and make a Good Future get revoked by the following catastrophe. Combine that with how he has actual friends in the present, and he might as well just stay in the present full-time and kill two birds with one stone… but then fans would complain about him losing something special to him. Cue frustration.

Also, fans can insist all they want that Silver trusting Mephiles was due to sheer desperation, but until they release the Snyder Cut of '06 where this is actually shown, it's nothing more than a headcanon. You can explain writing fumbles with headcanons, but you can't defend them with headcanons.

Elise: She's not a bad character. Underdeveloped, yes, but the hate she receives is largely exaggerated.

Marine: Her accent annoys me far less than Bunnie's. *mic drop*

Eggman: This notion that he needs to be softened up in order to be fleshed out is ironically a shallow one. He was fine the way he was. There's more than one way to expand on a villain.

Also, he shouldn't be underestimated just because he's a human instead of a god, a demon, an alien, etc. Bowser is an overgrown turtle who can breathe fire when all is said and done, and he still came close to conquering the universe on two occasions. If Bowser can do great things, so can Eggman.

Metal Sonic: It's possible to explore his identity crisis without making him turn traitor. If anything, him staying devoted to the guy who is the real Sonic's arch-nemesis adds an extra compelling layer to his insanity.

Lyric: I actually like his design? Yeah, he's still a crap villain and another one to throw onto the Fucks Eggman Over pile, but his design is at least more interesting than Mephiles the Druggie and Dark "Waiter, There's An Eyeball In My Taco" Gaia.

Infinite: Even if he was meant to be played completely seriously, and the idea of him being parodic to at least some degree isn't actually true, he's still a better maybe-parody of tryhard villains than either Scourge or Surge.

Sage: While Eggman using her for his own ends is preferable to him genuinely caring for her, the mere idea and circumstances of her character is something I'm very opposed to. I just don't like anything that could even vaguely be fitted into the role of Eggman's Bowser Jr, because no matter how it's presented in canon, fans will reduce Eggman to little more than Sage's father regardless. And I'm forced to see a shitton of "wholesome" family bonding regardless.

It doesn't help that beyond her relationship with Eggman, she doesn't have a whole lot of character anyway. The Heavies had more character in Mania, and they had no dialogue whatsoever. Black Doom arguably had more character, because at least with him, I can remember that he doesn't know what lightning is.

The Egg Bosses: They don't work. There is no reason why Eggman would forgo his robots in favor of anthros who, despite his ways of keeping them under his control, still talk back at him, something that the doctor has consistently been known to hate. Eggman having one organic right-hand as the Lefou to his Gaston is fine (like Starline or Agent Stone), but anything more than that just feels wrong IMO.

Tangle: Out of all the IDW-exclusive characters bar pre-Flynned Starline, Tangle is the one I'd be willing to give a chance if she were in something where her characterization wasn't exaggerated to the point of having room temperature IQ. I like the basic concept going on with Tangle, with her being well-intentioned but just a tad overeager for her own good, so I feel kinda sorry for how hard she got flanderized. Compare that to many other characters exclusive to this comic, who I instead wish would just fuck off and never return.

Starline: YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE. IT WAS SAID YOU'D SIMP FOR THE DOCTOR, NOT USURP HIM. CAST ASIDE THIS TIRED CLICHE, NOT FOLLOW IT TO THE LETTER. *cries like Ewan McGregor*

Surge: If a character has been shoved in my face relentlessly as the central focus of a character study for over a year, yet I feel as though I know nothing about who they really are by the time it's concluded, I'm gonna say that character might not be very good.

Mario: I cheered when he appeared at the end of the second movie, but why Chris Pratt?

[beevean]

Sorry if this is a bad time.

If you've read sonic idw issues 56 or 55 what do you think of Surge now?

Not much has changed? I was left very disappointed by how Kit simply... takes Surge and leaves, after an angsty but deserved "you suck" speech. Again. The exact same thing happened in #53. This is the conclusion of this arc? What exactly was concluded, that the Dynamo Cage broke and Surge failed again? Well, I suppose that now Sonic knows about their past, but considering that he's still a major asshole and I am glad that Surge electrocuted him simply for this line...

... I don't trust neither Flynn or Stanley to write a decent, actually compassionate Sonic - not holier-than-thou, a Sonic that actually cares about other people and not just about his Principles.

"wah wah all my enemies became my friends eventually :) I'm sure you will too :)" would you mind treating Surge like an actual person with agency, you piece of shit? Actually, now it's even worse, because now he knows that she is programmed to want him dead, on an even deeper level than Shadow! And he's still like "oh, you'll be my friend :)". What an arrogant pustule!

Sorry, I hate IDW!Sonic too much. As for Surge... well, I liked this line:

I have shilled Let Go a couple of times, if you forgive my arrogance, but this, this is the one thing that I find interesting about Surge. She cannot simply "forgive" Sonic, it's baked in her being. Her problem is not easily fixable, not with a pep talk, nor with a beating. She herself has to find the strength to reforge her own identity, but that's easier said than done. Can she even find peace? It is an intriguing conflict.

I do, however, heavily disagree with this narrative that Surge and Kit's existence is Sonic's fault. I hate that the dilemma that the story is presenting, and that the fans are buying, is that their suffering is due to Sonic not killing Mr. Tinker way back then - which lead to Starline restoring Eggman's memories, which lead to Starline growing disillusioned with Eggman*, which lead to him playing God with two children.

What the fuck? No! Sonic's huge mistake was being, again, an arrogant little shit with Metal and letting him free in #12! No I will not let that down! Sonic never told anyone what he did and he dismissed Tails when he brought it back in #50 (because he's a terrible person), but that was the huge thing he should have tried to fix! Not Mr. Tinker! I hate that everyone keeps shitting on Sonic for not killing a man with brain damage, and now I'm supposed to think "oh, but because of that, Surge and Kit now exist and are in pain :(" shut up!

Same with Starline, "oh Sonic let Starline go" bitch where? Literally where. Tell me where. I re-read the Chao Race Arc for Let Go just to make sure, and Sonic just left Starline to die under an avalanche and forgot about him. I hate IDW!Sonic and I hope he has a mental breakdown for all the shit he did, but not for this! Not for this! Blame him for what he actually did!

Anyway. This arc was mainly useless, and the only things I remember are that 1) Sonic is still a piece of shit, best seen in the callous way he treated Kit in #53, and 2) Surge got defeated by a bucket on her head, so much for being Best Rival. So yeah, peak writing, as usual. But as wasted and overhyped Surge feels, I cannot completely hate her. There is a good concept there.

I think she will kill herself at the end of her character arc, like this. But I suspect that Flynn and Stanley will keep her around for a while because she's too popular.

*also the fact that Eggman in #23 was severely OOC just to facilitate Starline's disillusionment doesn't help matters. Surge and Kit are not Sonic's fault: they are the fault of shitty writing.

[rosiesramblings]

hear me out I had a Thought that I felt needed to be shared

So dani and Jamie have their super fun crossbar penalty challenge contest whatever right? Which on its own is great and perfect and a lovely lil tradition that started when Jamie had all those walls and defenses but has continued to the times of ✨friendship✨

anywayyyyyy I would like to propose the idea that Dani, once aware of his amigo’s need for affection and fondness for tickling, absolutely 100% proposes to Jamie actual stakes/rewards for their little game. Winner gets to tickle the other! (And after a good few where it’s like Jamie that was a miss on purpose, it’s like okay how bout I tickle you if you win?)

But fun silly bonding with our two aces and some fluffy flustered fun

I literally keep dropping in just with random Jamie hc if I’m annoying please lemme know I’ll chill the fuck out

Also since I keep dropping in I feel like I oughta actually identify myself and since I’m clearly obsessed with Jamie imma just call myself baby shark anon 🦈

BABY SHARK ANON!!!! HELLO!!!! You are never annoying, and I love your Jamie headcannons. Sorry it has taken literal ages for me to respond :( I transferred grad programs from an in person one to an online one since my new job has me traveling a lot, but somehow the online program is like 10x more work??? Like I'm happy im learning stuff and not wasting my money but also chill?? Lol. ANYWAY, thank you for your patience, and please enjoy these headcannons.

Dani feels major cuteness aggression when it comes to Jamie. He just wants to SQUEEZE HIS FACE and make him smile!!!

Dani loves to teach people things, and Jamie loves to learn. When Dani feels homesick, Jamie will ask him for facts about Guadalajara (did i spell that right? who's to say)

Dani grew up in a warm, loving home, and he hates that Jamie didn't. He goes out of his way to be sweet to his amigo

He is also competitive as hell. So he figures out a way to combine his love for competition and Jamie's love for physical affection

Jamie's spanish vocabulary consists of hello, where is the bathroom, several swear words, and the word 'tickles' purely because Dani coos it at him so often to tease him

If anyone was wondering I'm like 80% sure tickles in spanish is cosquillas which is just such a cute word

Dani's first attempt to combine tickles and the crossbar game is a failure only because Jamie's skill level plummets from 'professional footballer' to 'toddler' as soon as he hears what happens to the loser

After three rounds of Jamie acting like he had never kicked a football in his life, with one hand in Jamie's underarm and the other squeezing Jamie's thigh, Dani play growls and says, "New rule. Winner gets the cosquillas, not the loser."

Jamie blushes all the way down to his chest but nods

And just like that, professional footballer Jamie is back!

One thing Dani didn't account for is that sometimes he will win, and Jamie seems to enjoy taking him to pieces as much as he likes being tickled to death himself

Dani grew up with four sisters and three brothers, and he dreads the day when Jamie will find the spot behind his left ribs that his siblings use against him constantly because it gets him to go boneless and shriek-y with laughter

After a while, Sam will come and watch their games. If Dani wants to get Jamie really bad, he'll ask Sam to help pin him down, which Sam does happily

That's how Jamie accidentally found out that tickling under Sam's arms will get him to collapse immediately with these adorable golden giggles

[I saw this in a fic once but i can't remember which one] collectively, Sam, Jamie, and Dani are known as 'The Babies' by the rest of the team. They aren't the youngest physically, but they act like it

Sorry, couldn't resist adding Sam at the end. Thank you for this amazing ask, Baby Shark Anon! Te quiero!

[freddy-ryland]

“Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine.”— Snow White (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)

Mom was staring her down, examining her backpack and rolled-up overalls, picking at the flyaways not quite pressed down, pursing her lips over the scuffed Converse.

"We can buy you better clothes than these Freddy," the short form of 'we are a powerful House you don't need to dress like a gardener'.

"I'm just going to Diagon Alley, it can get so dusty in the summer." the short form of 'I'm going to meet Q then we're tramping to Li's then finding wherever T is and going for drinks and I don't want to spill liquor on my nice dresses'.

"I'm not so sure Diagon Alley is such a good place to run off too...alone." short form from 'wait for your brother to babysit you, he's off work, he can protect you from your little friends and your little plans and your little adventures'.

"I won't be alone! We're just going to the bookshop!" the long form for 'fuck off'.

"We can buy books from the catalog." short form for 'don't leave this house. we can keep you safe here. there is no reason to leave for no reason nor without protection or to meet your ridiculous friends and we are rich enough to build you a library - just stay home, stay where you're safe.'

"I'm leaving." 'I'm trapped'.

Freddy marched out the door, her puffy spacebuns stirring in the breeze, onto the broad porch and into the front garden. Their house was the largest on the wizarding block, enough home for two families, enough space that a bedridden girl could find solace and peace and solitude. But Freddy couldn't help but feel that a few thousand square feet of various four corners was stifling.

"Patronus me when you get there!" the long form of 'I'll call the Calvery if it pleases me'.

Her parents couldn't do much since she was 17 now, couldn't tell her no, legally an adult, but if they called an Auror to bring her home, they'd get her home. No one could tell a member of the Shacklebolt family 'no' even if their married name was Ryland. Hell, even just the name Ryland would get the Aurors moving.

"Yes, Mom." Because she was dutiful and careful and hated to worry them more than usual. Because she woke up at night with her Mom touching her chest, ensuring she was breathing. Because she found her Dad tapping her awake from naps, so sure she was unconscious. Because Micah and Q and T and Li and everyone else had found Freddy bleeding from head trauma from a fall, curled up into stone corridors, and splayed out on busy streets when the magic decided to poison her own body and send her flying through time and memories and the future. Freddy is just a passenger in her body for a magic rooting and rotting her from the inside out.

But she smiled and waved from the sidewalk, the street built for wizards, apparition points set up in front of homes and in public spaces. A necessity of bygone War days, now the public knew who was coming, had wards set against random entry points, and the Rylands were stringent about watching the comings and goings.

"Just be careful!"

Freddy pointed at herself, "Who me? I'm always careful!" Carefully plotting the days until Graduation, plotting the days until she could escape, find a curse-breaking program willing to take on a girl with counted days and worse chances of survival past 25. Somewhere that wouldn't sneer at the wasted spot could give her all the adventure her fragile body could handle and let her chart her own course. Freddy's life was a map to a swift end, but that didn't mean she couldn't attempt to enjoy every second she breathed - living in fear meant not living at all. Living within the four walls and four corners and four streets and the four sets of eyes following her every move and watching her very steps making sure she didn't so much step on a crack - it was suffocating, and as Freddy spun in place, she couldn't help but feel a choked up relief at seeing her Mom's face fading away, warping and disappearing into the void of her house.

Landing just outside of Knockturn Alley, Freddy let out a huff of air, her magic rocking her body with a deluge of images - monsters and criminals, grimy shadow children stalking the alleys with white teethed smiles, cackles of war and shrieks of laughter. A life lived, and living and living long after Freddy died. Her moments here were short, her rattled lungs sucking in an expanse of air as she stepped from the apparition point.

There, across the way, leaning against the wall, sharing a bottle of butterbeer, they waited. Freddy took in the scent of piss, magic, and cigarette smoke and bounded forward, clenching the straps of her backpack every two seconds getting a bombardment of visions until she was wrapped up in cosmos and ink, nestling her nose into her Beloved's hair and letting the weight of Falmouth fall from her shoulders. Q already chattering away, and the sound fell like rainfall on Freddy's ears, calming and kind in the wall all summer showers were, and they parted, pinkies locked together.

"Hey Nightmare," Linden greeted, Freddy offered them a shoulder bump before whipping out her wand.

"I learned a really fun hex this week!"

A shine of sun bounced off a grimy window as the trio set off, Freddy bouncing along, shifting between past-present-future, her head spiking with pain.

But life moves quickly, and Freddy's would move quicker than the ones at her side. It was her right to experience the sunshine, so she wiped away a bit of blood dripping from her ear and continued forward.