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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years ago

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Misjudgment

Summary: can you do a losers club x reader where the losers save the reader from the bowers gang so they invite her to the losers club, except stan doesn’t trust her bc he’s stan. so then the reader confronts him abt it and then they become friends?

Being the new kid in any new school is difficult a label designed and slapped on your forehead to follow you around and attrack attention because of it. Derry middle school was no exception, and in fact, to you knowledge, was even worse than any other school you had ever been too. Your parents switched jobs a lot, and with that came moving around heaps of times too, so being the new kid wasn’t a state-of-the art experience for you.

It still sucked, walking into a school, your peers huddled together in group while you, the loner, picked at your fingernails to appear busy and to not get caught staring longingly as two friends giggled and talked about their crushes to one another.

The first time you spotted Bill, leader of the infamous loser club you would soon become a part of, was the same day you first witnessed Henry’s psychotic behavior, plundering Bill’s book bag and lighting it on fire mere inches away from the poor kids face. You had stomped over, snatching the bag out of Henry’s hands, the books were mostly destroyed and missing, and handed it back to the boy who scrambled up.

‘You better stay the fuck away from me you fucking hoer. You must either have a Deathwish or want to date B-b-billy,’ he mocked,’ enough that you don’t care who you piss of, and that mistake, can be deadly here in my town.’

Bill thanked you, asked for your name and invited you to join in on a birdwatching retreat him and his friend were going on, but you declined. The altercation left you rattled and spooked, and you didn’t know Bill or any of his friends, all strangers in a town of even more strangers, and went back home.

That decision had both negative and positive outcomes attached to it. Bowers awaited you along with his goons, emptying a slushie on your head and spitting in your face and hair, humiliating you to the best of their abilities. At one point, they tried to glue a freshly bought pad to your skirt, their tyranny halted as Bill and his followers threatened to call the police on them.

‘That’s what being brave will get you in this town’, Mike said, staring the bowers gang off as they .

‘Yeah, but luckily there’s strength in numbers.’

‘Yup, welcome to the losers club new kid. Ben, you’ve been kicked off the nickname ‘new kid’, I need to find you a new one.’ Richie pondered, tapping his fingers to his chin as he came up with a new nickname for Ben.

Persuading Richie into giving him a different derogatory name was enough for Ben to accept you with open arms in the group, as did almost everyone else, and you gained six new friends, a huge upgrade from the zero friends you had prior to them. The hospitality showed, and you were never forced to eat lunch or walk to class by yourself any longer.

The losers club consisted of seven people, but to your parents you vowed that there we’re only six friends you engaged with, because the seventh member, Stanley, was not your friend. At most, the two of you were acquaintances, people that hung out because of mutual friends.

He never liked you or made an effort to befriend you, his cold demeaner deterring and dynamite to your time dedicated to the losers. Not once did he address you personally, and if someone inquired a question and you would go to respond, Stanley would talk over you, like you were never there in the first place. The whole situation, that you had no inkling on how you ended up in the first place, put a damper on the blossoming friendship, and you often found yourself nail-biting tense, on the lookout for the day the other losers would be tired of the tense underlying issues themselves and kick you to the curb.

This unease pushed you to confront Stanley about his behavior towards you, as you did not want to end up alone again, and you adored the friends you had made in the losers club too much to let go without a fight.

The opportunity to do this arose one day after school, when only Eddie and Richie, both lounging in the hammock, and Stanley and you are around in the clubhouse. You’re sketching in the a notebook, the one you and Bill share, to compare various techniques and color schemes, and also because it’s fun and interesting to observe what someone else is crafting.

No one besides Bill and you know of its existence, but it’s not strictly a secret, it’s more of a - none of the others care so why tell them-? You’re seated in the stack of cushions, plumped up by Eddie, in order to protect ones ass against blisters, since that’s thing apparently, and Stanley is fully emerged in a book, as far away from you as the small, incepted space allows.

The drawing is coming along pretty well, the sketch portraying the clubhouse itself and it’s inhabitants, and you’re focusing on measuring the length between the hatchet and the far wall, when Stanley spots the book in your lap.

‘That’s Bill’s,’ he snidest, crossing the room in no time to protectively grab it and cage it in his arms.

‘I know that’, you secure, reaching for the book but too short to actually clasp it. ‘I borrow it from him.’

Stanley stares you down with a level headed look, ‘Oh, really?’ He says so sarcastically you urge to rip out his tongue and render him silent.

‘Yes really. What’s the problem with that Stanley?’

‘Stan the man, chill out’, Richie laughs on edge, squirming in his place as he and Eddie watch the situation unfold.

‘No fuck that. What the fuck did I do to get you to hate me so much?’

‘You know what you did.’

‘Enlighten me, fucking please Stanley.’ The hostility swarming around the two of you is palpable, and it’s containing to build to a crescendo neither are prepared for. His admission could potentially dissolve the undercover threat, a way for you to explain or fix the thing you display that Stanley contempt. But that can only be done if the thing gets pointed out, which so far, it hasn’t.

‘You are conspiring with Bowers and Patrick, I am onto you.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Just admit it.’

‘Okay, I fucking admit I’m colluding with the same douchebags that tried to defoule me. You got me there Stanley’, you’re seething, rage vibrating in every pore. Richie and Eddie attempt to deflate the situations, but glares from Stanley and you dispirited their focus.

‘Stan, come on,’ Eddie pacifies, ‘why would she do that?’

‘Is it not it convenient that she just so happened to be at the same time and place as Bill is getting beat up? And that she gets attacked right after but somehow escaped any physical damage? Who knows what secrets she’s been tattling?’

‘Well I’m sorry, let me go to them and ask if they would be so kind to punch me in the face’, your voice got more and more hysterical with every word, and you bend down your knees making eye contact with Stanley as you mock him.

‘Stan Urine, This isn’t ‘The Soldier’, they’re no such thing as spies, although Miss K in a spy suit is the fantasy to have for all my wet dreams.’ Richie vulgar joke goes by unnoticed, you and Stan involved in a staring match. You’re the one that breaks eye contact, huffing as you slide on your heels and move to leave.

‘Fine, whatever, I pick up on when I’m not wanted.’

‘No wait. Y/N, don’t go.’

‘Stan the man gets prickly around the time his period is due, chalk it up to that.’

‘Shut the fuck up Richie no I don’t.’

You force the handle up, resting it a bit above your head and pause, sighing. ‘I’m not conspiring with Bowers, I just wanted to make friends.’ The latch gravitates to the floor after you’ve climbed out, and with it a chapter of your life, now it’s back to being friendless.

Four steps away from the clubhouse, the latch opens again and out tumbles Stan, meticulously lifting himself up by the piece of hardwood that is unscathed with dirt from the ground, and sprints to catch up with you.

‘I am sorry’, he says, flabbergasting you. ‘I should have been more open and accepting, and not my judgmental, evil self. I am not myself if I haven’t eaten a snicker and I apologize,’ Stan rolls his eyes.

‘Those lines were fed to you by Richie’, you state matter of fact, a smile tugging up your lips in spite of your earlier mood set.

‘No they weren’t’, elevates from below ground, conforming your suspicions.

‘Okay, yeah partly. But I do need to apologize. Being so antagonistic was wrong and unnecessary. Can we start over?’

‘I mean, give me back my notes and we’ll make a deal out of it?’

‘Of course.’

#bill denbrough x reader #bill denbrough imagines #richie tozier x reader #richie tozier imagine #eddie kaspbrak x reader #stanley uris #stanley uris x reader #Ben Hanscom x reader #beverly march x reader #Mike hanlon x reader #My writing #the loser club imagines

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seyaryminamoto · 5 years ago

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In your opinion, what do you think is the predominant love language of Sokka and Azula? And how would they express it to each other? :)

I really don’t know much about this whole classification of love languages, if you want me to be honest xD a quick wikipedia search says it’s basically a way to break down and categorize different displays of love? And there’s five of them, apparently? I have to say frankly that, as I write them, Sokka and Azula basically do everything in that list of five languages:

Words of affirmation: one of my main must-haves in virtually any Sokkla setting, where Azula is either not redeemed or halfway there, is Sokka telling Azula she’s not a monster. As you may have noticed, that particular thing bugs Azula fans a lot, and we really wish someone would tell her she isn’t one :’D thus, one of Gladiator’s most emotional scenes in Part 1 is Azula’s mild breakdown in Ember Island where Sokka reasons with Azula’s belief of being a monster and tells her that she’s about as human as can be, and the darkness inside her isn’t anything that makes her fundamentally worse than anyone else. There’s so many scenes I could point to that feature words of affirmation they say to each other, or that they say to other people about each other *cough* look forward to chapter 187 *cough*, some of my favorites from Azula to Sokka was her reasoning for wanting to celebrate his birthday (” I've wanted to celebrate your birthday because I'm quite grateful that you were born”), as well as her later affirmation that she loves him for who he is: (”I can say, truthfully… that I love that you're a non-bender. I know it might seem strange, but… I wouldn't change anything about you"). This is without going into the ten thousand times they’ve said they love each other :’D virtually all their conversations in Part 2 end up featuring words of affirmation of one sort or another, from either of them, no matter how often they may tease each other. So... this one is pretty predominant, I suppose?

Quality time: and see, this one happens to be Gladiator Part 2 in a nutshell. Whenever they have any time to spare (well, when Azula does, in particular), their immediate idea is to spend that free time together, in whatever capacity is possible. Outside of free time, they also work together as sponsor and gladiator, so they have their training sessions, Sokka’s fights, the events in the League... Sokka also helps her out with anything she may need (for instance, he took up a job as swordmanship teacher for the Enforcers to give Azula a hand, which still means they get to spend a bit of time together, even if she’s really busy with her new undertakings), so in the end, they spend most their time together, and they’d spend even more of it if they could. They only separate whenever they have no official justification for spending time together, such as when Sokka was still recovering from the Jeong Jeong incident, and even then they were desperate to return to each other ASAP. So... yeah, I think it’s safe to say, Gladiator-wise, they dedicate all the time they can to each other. And, as far as I’m concerned, other stories and settings could even have them spending more time together than they do in Gladiator, since there’s no Ozai breathing down their necks and threatening to kill Sokka if he finds out he’s his daughter’s secret lover. Therefore... quality time is also guaranteed.

Giving gifts: This one might be the less obvious one with Sokka and Azula, because Azula’s initial generosity (in Gladiator) answered some very specific needs: she ensured he was well fed, clothed, trained, bought him a house, found a maid for him... basically, she gave him a thousand things, but it wasn’t because she was showing she loves him, it was because she knew such things would be necessary for Sokka to offer a decent performance as a gladiator. Now then, after their initial hurdles are out of the way and their relationship has progressed, Sokka gives Azula occasional gifts but constantly struggles to come up with something she’ll genuinely cherish. He made Xin Long’s armor, he brought her flowers, he tried to cook for her, he gave her a tiny hot-air balloon, and crafted a betrothal necklace for her... he also wrote poetry, and he’ll try his hand at another artistic venture with Azula very soon. But this stuff is pretty sparse, even if Azula appreciates it a lot whenever it happens. As for Azula, she will give Sokka some pretty nice gifts very soon, just as she continues to provide for all his needs. In recent times, the gifts she’s been willing to give Sokka have been mostly non-physical ones, such as the thumbs-up she gives his crowd in his stead, once they’re leaving the Royal Dome on the day he wins against the Mad Alchemist, or ordering her Barge back into Whaletail Island’s port so Sokka could meet Katara... it’s stuff that means a lot to him, more than any physical gifts might (this, paired with the fact that Azula had offered to bring him home whenever he wished to go, without forcing him to stick to their original deal). So, maybe the gift-giving isn’t quite the classic sense of it, but it still happens in its own way. In general, I think it’s difficult for Sokka to give gifts to a Princess who basically can have it all... so that’s why he generally tries the DIY route with gifts, and so far it has paid off wonderfully because she genuinely loves everything he crafts for her. I think in most settings it’d have to be this way, and depending on Azula’s situation, she can either give him anything he wishes for or maybe resort to small but heartfelt gifts and gestures that mean a lot to the two of them.

Acts of service: this one may even tie slightly with the previous one, but frankly, as far as acts of service are concerned, these two take it the extra mile. Sokka didn’t always fight as her gladiator out of his own convictions, he started off doing it because of their deal... but as time goes by, he genuinely cherishes his role in her life and he would fight anyone for Azula’s sake, if need be. It’s, of course, a mutual thing because Azula will protect Sokka against anything, even her own father, no matter the cost. Hence, their relationship dynamics and battle couple behavior can be interpreted as acts of service for each other. Sokka, like I said before, has tried to cook for Azula too, which is a more classic act of service, as far as I can tell, and she appreciates his efforts even if not his results just yet xD in future chapters Sokka goes out of his way (in two different instances) to get lychee wine for Azula because he knows that’s the only licquor she likes, and every time he does that her heart grows twenty sizes. He also cared for her while she was sick, and she often does the same when he’s wounded, such as how she cared for him in Jeong Jeong’s arc. Sokka also tries to help her have good relations with people such as Captain Zhen, by agreeing to teach swordsmanship to his son because he hoped that would help Azula. Everything Azula did in the current Whaletail Island arc counts as well as an act of service: she’s privileging Sokka’s needs and his bond with his family well above her own needs, to the point of preparing herself to face that he might choose to stay with Katara - and she’s determined to respect his decision, if he were to make it. So, I’d say this one ranks really high, perhaps more than everything else?

Physical touch: ... but this one’s obviously a big deal too considering how damn difficult it is for them to keep their hands off each other at any given moment xD from something as innocent as walking through the Capital’s tunnels holding hands, hence, fulfilling Sokka’s wish for them to “walk through the city while holding hands”, to their very frequent intimate encounters, once these two are together they’re as good as magnets, constantly seeking contact with each other. Sokka has always struck me as a highly affectionate person once he’s with someone he genuinely loves, and so he pours that affection on Azula constantly, to the point where, in the early days of their relationship, she could barely keep up with it all. Physical touch doesn’t come quite as easily to Azula as it does to him, as she has never been someone who receives a lot of physical affection, but her attraction to Sokka has made it so she craves for him physically and on every possible level she can... therefore, despite she’s been awkward when other people show her any physical affection (often pushes Ty Lee off when Ty Lee hugs her, or remains unresponsive, barely responds to Toph’s hugs and stood limp and awkwardly the first time she did it, nearly flipped out when Ozai reached for her hand in the temple that one time, and most recently was left drawing blanks when Zuko hugged her....), she’s at ease when it’s with Sokka, so much that she welcomes his touch and everything about physical contact with him, altogether.

In short... I seriously think they do it all? You could, perhaps, rank the languages depending on which one is more predominant, to a fault xD but there’s genuinely no love language they outright don’t do, at least in Gladiator (and honestly, I doubt they don’t use all love languages in my other stories). But I guess, if you really want me to rank them...

Acts of service

Physical touch - Words of affirmation

Quality time

Gift-giving

Sorry, I really think Physical touch and Words of affirmation are virtually tied together in the story, both things tend to happen at the same time, and I really can’t bring myself to rank either thing higher, so it’s a draw. Quality time falls to #3 because they can sacrifice being together sometimes, as much as they hate doing it, but they can survive while being apart (despite Sokka would likely argue with me and say he absolutely can’t, but you know, ignore him (?)). Gift-giving, while very heartfelt and cute when it happens, is sparse, like I said... so it can stay in the last place, despite it’s still part of what they do for each other.

Is this comprehensive enough? :’D I sure hope so...

(if anyone needs me to hide this under a read more, let me know... got longer than I thought it would, woops)

#anon #... ended up being a very gladiator-oriented answer so #gladiator #sokkla #love languages is such a strange new concept to me #it's not the first time I hear it #but frankly Sokkla do it all #if that's not how it's supposed to work well #I'm sorry the love between my OTP is as OP as it is (?)#but that's how it works (?)

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talldarkandroguesome · 5 years ago

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19th of Sun’s Dusk, Tirdas

Luz is not capable of taking us afar. He says he has used a scroll with a spell to teleport. He tried to explain the theory to me, something about some sort of marking in the location you wish to go to before you attempt to get there. The terminology which he used was technical, much like that I hear Avon and Plays-With-Fire use in their many long and protracted theory arguments. It would likely take me months of studying to come to understand all that these mages discuss, so I find it enough to say that it is simply not possible.

I am sure that if what the Earl told me is true I am capable of utilizing such skills. It still seems unfathomable that I have been using magicka this whole time. That my many skills are almost entirely utilized via magicka. All those lies.

It still seems strange to me that no one was able to guess that I was still using magicka. I mean, obviously flame cloaks make use of magicka. How did they not find a need to give me the tutelage required to manifest my magicka into the spells they sought for me to master? Why did mother not try and work with me so that I could follow in her footsteps? Did someone tell her it was not worth her time? Who made the ultimate decision that I was a failure to my family? To my House! What mer convinced a university that is dedicated to nurturing magickal ability that a difference in how one has so far used magicka means that that young mer will never be able to use magicka? I have seen how skilled mother is. I have seen the leaps and bounds that Sildras has made with his magicka in so few years of life. Why was I the one given up on?

There are only two answers to this question that do not point to total ignorance on the part of all involved.

The first, is that some other Great House wished to bring shame unto ours or our family. It could be a personal grudge of someone wronged by mother or father, or one of our other close relatives. It points to someone on the Grand Council. Given my marriage, House Hlaalu seems the most likely candidate. Given the situation with the Pact and our previous run-in with them, House Telvanni could have been involved, though most with the power to act on it prefer to spend their time isolated in their great fungal towers working on their revolting machinations that bring harm to others in exchange for learning secrets of Nirn and extending their lives.

House Dres could also be involved. Their anger over the abolishment of slavery and losing their Argonian slaves is no secret. They are a vile House with retaining their non-Pact citizen slaves. Their power was built around immoral tenants and they should have lost all their power and money when slavery was abolished. It would only be fair that they not be given exception. House Dres also vies with our House over territory, so they could be trying to provide weak points in our own.

The second possibility, is that the decision was made by someone higher up than mother. Which would mean Uncle. Has Uncle Tanval not caused mother and I enough pain without this? I can see him sneering at her after making sure she was told that I would be useless at the one skill she was so oft praised. That the future she had carefully crafted for me to walk into, now lost. All the planning, all the preparations and expectations, all of it for naught. I can picture him sitting in his chair by hearth and laughing to himself, proud that he has delivered the biggest blow possible to mother. The fetcher would be so self-satisfied. So pleased with himself.

The worst part of all of this is, when I joined House Intelligence, they trained me. They taught me magicka. The head of House Intelligence reports to Uncle. There is no way that it would not have been communicated that I was excelling in the use of magicka or skills that draw on it. I had not yet reached my adulthood ceremony. There was still time to give me training to be a battle mage. Uncle knew. He knew! There is no way he did not.

He made this decision. Even if he did not initially craft the plot, he made a conscious decision not to alter my path.

The fetcher always used my having been useless outside of such skills as a reason to shame me, mother, and our family. Yet he has been aware, all this time, that I was capable of more. He kept me locked in a position where he could then chastise me and shame mother for a shortcoming that I do not even possess!

He placed me into a position that was sure to get me killed. Time and again he did things to me in order to hurt mother. He wanted me to take a dangerous position that would force me to do the House’s dirty work in a that would never let my name come to light. He forced me into the shadows. Then when I showed that I was excelling and making a name for myself in any way, he took the first opportunity to keep me away from it. Uncle knew how much I would hate being stuck working in the Temple. He put me there to dull my mind. He had me married to someone he was likely aware would be trying to kill me. Time after time he caused mother and I pain.

Come to think of it now, he had the power to protect Sildras. He could have demanded my son be properly educated, but he did not. He allowed him to become scared and isolated from the world. He LET it happen!

Great, now Avon is putting a frost cloak on me because I am “making it too warm in the tent” and I might “burn us all alive” if I keep doing whatever I am doing. Sigh. He never understands. Even if I tell him he will simply make some speech about how I am giving other people power over me. Blah blah blah. Why am I not allowed to be angry when it is justified? Why is it always unreasonable for me to act on my feelings unless they are stoic indifference or quiet sympathy or calm happiness?

I have no more desire to write. I shall write more later. When the mood strikes me. I will not force myself any other time. I am tired of not being allowed to do as I please in even the smallest things.

#ESO #TES #Dunmer #RP #Elder Scrolls Online #The Elder Scrolls

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comicteaparty · 4 years ago

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June 27th-July 3rd, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 27th, 2020 to July 3rd, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

If you could do your webcomic for a living, how would that change things in regards to how you work on it (if at all)?

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'd definitely put out more content, cause I could focus on it fully every day of the week.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i would probably start hating it and get burnt out

Deo101 [Millennium]

thats why I would also have to start another comic or do short stories on the side or something, too.

I would probably keep individual comics update schedules the same, I'd just do more comics

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

If it became a part-time job, I don't think anything would change. It kind of feels like that already. If I were in a position where it became a full-time job, I do dread how my relationship with the work would change. I don't think I could ever make as much doing comics as I do in my day job (which isn't crazy, but is comfortable) so I don't know if I could ever 100% transition unless it was really, really worth it It's something I've thought about a lot, for sure.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

In a way, my comic is my full-time job? I don't make very much money with it, but I do put over 40 hours a week into it, and I don't have another job. I am in the very fortunate position of having an SO who is able to support me financially while I try to get my footing with my passion. If I was depending on it for a paycheck though, the main thing that would change is my style would probably get simpler, because there is no way I can make enough pages a week otherwise.

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

It is really the dream to be able to do it! Right now I am unemployed, so I basically treat the comic as my fulltime job, until I find the next short project. I want to be able to work on it full time! In Denmark there are some cool possibilities to get funding from the government and I hope we can get enrolled with some of those programs with our comic.

I would also just love to do small videos, podcasts, animations etc. Small fun projects

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

If I had to do it full time, I think i'd put a LOT more hours into learning how to paint, watching speedpaints, ect. It'd also make a huge difference in my living situation, as the first thing I'd honestly do with a full time at-home job is move to another city with cheaper rent. Another state, maybe! Oh, and I'd do a lot more promo work. posters and animations are fun, but they're not quite worth it with an audience consisting of two my writing partner's friends, and my older brother.

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

the biggest difference, I suppose, would be that I would make a lot more pages, a lot faster. But I like it that it's been pointed that the relationship with work changes when you have to do things full time, so there may be some unpredictable variables there

eliushi [Keyspace]

For a living for me can mean many different things: able to sustain living expenses vs full-time. There’s overlap but one gives financial security meaning an element of creative freedom. The opposite end will probably entail working on other comic projects with the current one as a passion story on the side (no change but probably might not want to draw so much after drawing for work!) If we’re discussing the ability to do the webcomic full time without financial worries then I do believe my output will increase but also I will be dedicating more time to the craft (studying story structures, art directions etc) as well as marketing/joining professional associations/pitching/connections. There are a lot of career options within the comic world and I’d love to explore everything before deciding what’s best for the current story. Ultimately if I were to do this as a living, I’d treat it like any other job: a routine, a strive for improvement, and wellness to recharge. I follow several artists not only for their art but also their schedule/workflow to see what worked for others. It’s very interesting!

In reality though, I might work on smaller scale projects on the side to build up the experience and platform needed to tell the story of Keyspace. As a full time comic creator, I’ll be seriously thinking to covert the seven novel series into a hug comic project. So TL;DR if full time, I make more pages

varethane

I'm in an odd place with my comic because.... well, I sort of had an opportunity to spend all of my time on it for a few months, when I was in between contracts at work. But I found that I wasnt getting it done all that much faster than I did when also working full time

To be fair, it's kind of hard to compare my speed between the three periods, because when I returned to work after a few months away, it was after work from home had started and now I no longer have a commute, so perhaps my ability to squeeze comic pages into my free time has expanded.... but I feel like my attention span caps out around 8 hours on any single task

So I didnt work that much faster. But... I'm also bad at keeping track. I could be wrong.

Yung Skrimp (Carefree)

8 hours is a long attention span

varethane

It's not all in one go, haha.

eliushi [Keyspace]

I definitely have to take breaks between pages, whether or not I have just a few minutes to a chunk of hours

It’s about finding a balance that works for you!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I don't think I could put more hours daily into my comic than I currently do. I have a chronic issue with my drawing shoulder, so my body won't be able to handle that much work. Probably wouldn't be great for my eyes, either. I also don't know if I want my livelihood to depend on how many people like my story. This story is a pair of custom-tailored skinny jeans for my heart (and I have an unusual body type, making it impossible to wear skinny jeans regardless of size). It's a story I want to read. It's meant to fit ME. I don't want to worry about how to also make it fit a bunch of other people.

That being said, some people do find themselves in a situation where they're making something they want to read, and a bunch of other people just happen to like it, too. I think that would be nice

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I physically can‘t draw for more than four, five hours a day, found that out the hard wayy

eliushi [Keyspace]

I most recently developed pain likely due to RSI and have made accommodations since then but yeah it was scary to think that I have a limit in drawing time. Gotta find ways to take care of yourself for the long run

cAPSLOCK (Tailslide)

I think if comics were my only job, I'd feel a lot more anxious about what I create, and would struggle to work consistently. Having another pursuit makes me feel like I have more freedom to experiment, learn, and make what I want to make.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

That's a really good point keii

Would drawing a comic for a living push me to change it to have more mass appeal?

I don't know but it is definitely possible and would be on my mind

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

It is the dream, if I could get a decent monthly wage on my comic, yes I will dedicate more time, work out a better schedule. Get an editor and colourist on board to help make a polished series. Altho I'm still doing this method to build good working habits But I agree with Eli's point, have to assign days for breaks for myself to prevent RSI. At present I have a trained mindset to work on schedules, but I may feel the pressure to produce as fast as I could.(edited)

Desnik

Well, for starters, my comic would actually be released somewhere, so it'd be nice if it made something back for me

Miranda

I’d actually release it. And work on it regularly, instead of sporadically like I have been! I’d definitely be more critical of what I was doing, and probably way more anxious every time I posted.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

You know, when I was only like 6 years old, I was like "I don't want to be an artist when I grow up. I love art too much, and I don't want to burn out and stop enjoying it. So I'm gonna be a singer instead." I have no idea how 6-year-old me knew about burnout, but I definitely remember saying that in response to an adult asking something like "what do you wanna be when you grow up"/ "wow, you're drawing all the time; do you want to become an artist?"

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

The more I do comics the more I think I want to do art stuff as part of my main career. I would love to make sequential art that's for science purposes

sagaholmgaard

Ah that would be the dream! I'd probably feel more secure in my ability to build up a backlog of pages, and be able to make more extra content for the PDF version! And more content for instagram and twitter as well

kayotics

If I were to be able to do comics full time I think it would completely change my current lifestyle. Not even money wise but I’d need to switch up a lot of things. Like make sure I get a good amount of exercise in. I’d probably add in another page a week, but then use the rest of my week to project manage the comic, and promote my work. I’d spend a lot of other time working on creating an online store, because I can’t see the comic working full time without some supplemental merch keeping me afloat. And I’d also use that time to create and work on another comic series I think.

Yung Skrimp (Carefree)

If I were to do comics full time I’d flex on everyone I know

Feather J. Fern

If I was able to do comics full time, be able to pay off debts, substain rent and food, and extra saved for small spluges, I will shove my comic in my family's face(I got a family who doesn't believe in me at all), dancing around screaming "I MADE IT IN LIFE" And then jump out the window because haha this can't be a reality because I don't think I will ever make it in comics. I will still keep my other job of working at a library and drawing on the side becuase I want working job insurance and also I am the type who wants to save all their money if possible(edited)

eliushi [Keyspace]

I was on board until jumping out the window

Yung Skrimp (Carefree)

I wasn't on board until jumping out the window

Now I am

Moral_Gutpunch

If I could do this for a living, I could do so much. I could afford to put my mother ina home, start my dream farm and start a bunch of conservation as well, I could help my husband fund his own sidegig, and I could afford to foster pets like I always wanted.

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Personally, if I was able to do it I would be a lot more invested in it. I would also make a lot less excuses as to why I'm not practicing as much; it took a pandemic to happen for me to dry taking it more seriously!

I think overall I might have been more happy.

On the other hand, there's also the danger of burnout, of constantly doing the same thing over and over again for me. I'm the type that needs constant change, so I think I'm more suited to having another occupation be my main profession while comics/art would be a secondary one, where I don't have as much pressure. Furthermore, it's also my backup plan in case anything happens to my main job.

Moral_Gutpunch

^ This. I'd be focusing so much more on comics. And I'd be expanding into more comics and writing more stories. I'd be happier I'm writing more, but more frustrated at writers block

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Man if I could do it full time, might be able to pull more page updates and actually get deep into doing some long term projects I had planned for years. I won't have much of an issue as long i can also do my zine projects on the side. also would be nice to have some job insurance too along with it lmao. the only danger that could take it away if I get incapacitated for no reason lmao

TaliePlume

If I could do comics as my full time job would be awesome! But all that focus would go only to the comic and nothing else which is bad because I would be neglecting a lot of things and not getting other things done.

AntiBunny

I'd finally be able to tell my whole story and start telling another. It drives me crazy that I have more ideas than I can pursue.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

In terms of my actual production, I'm not sure doing my comic as a living would change much lol. I already spend upwards of 40 hours a week on it, I seriously doubt there's more I could be doing. So, earning a living off my comic would just be... one less thing to worry about.

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

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princess-of-wakanda · 5 years ago

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Lost Ones: Chapter 2

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Just an FYI in case you’re new here…I lowkey write smut…I’m not that good at it, but hey. It’s there. This is the only forewarning I’ll be posting.

F L A S H B A C K

“T’Challa, stop! Somebody’s going to hear us,�� I hissed.

Rustling and muffled giggles were all that could be heard in the darkness of the palace’s combat training room. I sat with my back against one of the grand pillars with T’Challa laying on the floor with his head in my lap. My fingers twirled the soft curls in his hair while his mischievous fingers continuously dug into the backs of my knees and inside my thighs, tickling me.

This was our secret meeting place away from all of the royal politics and prying eyes. We would never be allowed to fraternize any other time. It was fine when we were children, but as we grew older, T’Challa was expected to align himself with royal traditions, and I was to know my place. I wasn’t of royal blood, so I wasn’t monitored as strictly as T’Challa, his baby sister, or his older brother, but King T’Chaka took me into his house after my parents were murdered by an invader named Ulysses Klaue. Many Wakandans lost their lives that day. I was the only survivor of my tribe because I wasn’t close to the blast that destroyed so many lives.

“What is on your mind, Xiza? You always get so quiet when your mind wanders.”

The moonlight filtering in from the windows illuminated the room enough for me to see T’Challa’s deep, brown eyes peering up at me. He took my hand that was laying across his chest and intertwined my fingers with his, pulling them to his soft lips.

A lot ran through my mind these days. Many changes were coming. We were no longer the carefree, bright eyed children that used to gallivant through the palace, making mischief. I was finally coming of age to enter into my next phase of training to become a Dora Milaje after three grueling years of dedication…and T’Challa? He’d reached the age where it was customary for children of the outside world to go to what they called “college”. He was set to leave right after my birthday during the fall months.

“Mmm, nothing. Just about how I should join the War Dogs so I can travel and see the world one day like you,” I teased.

“And forego your training to be a Dora Milaje?” he mused. “Xiza, you have wanted to be a Dora Milaje ever since the day we met.”

That was true. After the attack on my people, the Dora Milaje were the first to reach me. I will never forget the way that these majestic women fearlessly navigated through the rubble and chaos. I hated how helpless I was that day, and I promised myself that that would never happen again. Becoming a Dora Milaje would ensure that.

“Besides,” he shifted his body, giving him the access he needed to nip at my inner knee with his teeth. “I will miss you, too much.”

The sudden lust in his voice and the feel of his lips slowly kissing and suckling up my thighs caused me to gasp as my center awakened in anticipation of her favorite playmate. T’Challa and I have been messing around for the past year, and lately, it seemed as if he was trying to get it in every chance he could…which was often.

“T’Challa,” I breathed.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“The sun will be rising soon. Someone might see us-“

“That is not what I asked”

His guttural tone was almost primal. I shook my head, lifting my hips as his fingers gripped the elastic of my shorts. In one motion, he was able to pull them off with my panties. He wasted no time tasting me, taking one long draw of his tongue from my slit to my clit. I was already sensitive to his touch, flinching when he reached my most tender area.

He placed a gentle kiss on my lips before parting them with his tongue, slowly circling my pearl. The peaceful night air that held whispers and giggles earlier was now filled with soft moans and whimpers.

My blood began to run hot from the pleasure that this man was inflicting between my legs. His strong hands gripped my hips to still them from bucking against his face. I was unraveling. He was dedicated to his craft, expertly writing his name all over my pussy with his tongue using the glyphs of our people.

“T’Challa, please…” I whispered.

He knew what I wanted. To have more of him…all of him, but my pleas went ignored as he gently suckled my clit between his lips and pulsed it against his tongue. He didn’t stop until my legs were quivering around his head.

It was so soft at first that I barely heard it over the sound of my heart beating in my ears, but there it was again…

“I love you, Xiza.”

T’Challa was now lying next to me propping his head on his fist. His soft, loving eyes seemed to peer right through my soul.

“I know this is sudden,” he continued while taking my hand in both of his, “I need you by my side when I return.”

I leaned over, gently placing a kiss onto his lips.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

***

P R E S E N T

“Xiza?”

“I had a mission. What did you expect me to do?”

“A mission?”

His raised eyebrow indicated that he wasn’t close to believing my flimsy excuse. “How could you receive a mission as a War Dog when you were never a War Dog? You made that decision to join after you promised to wait for me.”

I bit on my back teeth in an effort to calm myself as T’Challa continued his rant. I didn’t want to think back on that time. I wanted it to stay buried. I wanted to move on-

“Xiza!”

Hurt and frustration weaved through the syllables of my name as he spoke it. A lump of guilt formed in my throat, making it hard to swallow.

“Mama?”

That lump seemed to grow bigger. I turned to see my eight-year-old son standing in the doorway. His eyes were wide as he stared at the unknown visitor standing before him. His sitter was supposed to be keeping him away from here in case there was going to be another attack…and in case Wakandan forces showed up. I knew I would have to reveal his existence at some point, but I wasn’t ready to face what I’d done or the consequences that would follow.

“Naomi, I’m so sorry. Xavier wanted to get his art supplies.”

My baby sitter, Natasha, was led into the room by Okoye and lieutenant at her side. She was flustered and looked downright terrified.

“It’s okay, Tasha,” I assured her with a contrived smile. “You can leave him with me. I won’t need you to keep him late after all.”

She looked around at all of the faces in the room before addressing me again.

“A-are you sure?”

“Yeah, girl. It’s fine. I’m sorry if I messed up your plans.”

I looked to Okoye, praying to Bast that she would allow Natasha to leave. T’Challa gave her a nod of approval.

“Speak of this moment to no one,” Okoye hissed as she stepped aside.

“I’ll CashApp you what I owe you. Talk to you later, okay?” I spoke again.

Natasha nodded at me before taking one last look at my visitors before hurrying out the door.

“Okoye,”

T’Challa was speaking to Okoye, but his eyes were boring into me.

“Take the boy and get what he requires.”

“Prince T’Challa-“ “Xiza will be returning with us to Wakanda”

“Go,” I mouthed to my son to let him know it would be okay.

“I understand,” Okoye replied.

She turned and left with her lieutenant and my son in the direction of his room. I couldn’t help but notice the glance of disappointment that she held towards me…and yet, I would rather take that look a thousand times over than face the confusion and pain from the man in front of me.

“A son? You have a son, Xiza?”

His mind was busy trying to put all of the missing pieces together. His age, the last time we were together, my disappearance…

“Why did you keep this from me?”

Author’s Note: GOT DAMN, I’M RUSTY AS FUCK!....Yikes…but I promise it will get better. Anywho, if you feel like you’re liking my stuff so far and you want to read more, check out some of my other fanfics...and lmfao at me posting one year later after chapter 1...I ain’t shit.

#Black Panther fanfic #BP Fanfic #Black panther fanfiction #Lost Ones Fanfic #Lost Ones Black Panther fanfic

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archiveacademics · 5 years ago

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Why write fanfic?

I left off my last post with a screenshot from AO3′s homepage that gave some stats about how many fandoms are represented and stories have been written on the site. And there’s a lot, over 5 million works so far. But what is it that drives people to write fanfic?

In Fic by Anne Jamison, popular YA author Rachel Caine writes about how fanfic saved her writing career.

“By 1999, I was ready to quit professional writing. Quit, completely and utterly. I was still doing the occasional short story...During this time I wrote another novel, Exile, Texas, a straight mystery/thriller; but although it was published, it also sold in not fantastic numbers.

But mostly? Mostly it was the fic that kept me writing, from the sheer joy of creating stories in a wold that I loved to inhabit. I also loved the challenge of working in a world that had clearly defined rules and characters. Unlike most fanfic writers, I didn’t want to write outside the lines; the highest compliment I could be offered was when readers confused one of my stories for an actual episode of the show [I was writing about].”

A similar story is told by Betts, a guest on the Fansplaining podcast episode “The Craft of Writing (Fanfiction)” Betts was working at a bank and smothered her creative and fannish impulses when she discovered a popular fanfic in the BBC Sherlock fandom called “A Cure for Boredom.” And it changed the whole trajectory of her life. She eventually got an MFA and became a writing instructor. She even uses fanfic in her classes.

“In Creative Writing, I have a lot more freedom, and so since I went into the MFA as a…as what they called a “self-taught” writer, since I had no creative writing—traditional creative writing instruction before that point, I developed my class around how I taught myself how to write, which involved very heavily fanfic.

And so I would take, when I started writing fic, I would take a concept that I wanted to improve on—and I did this very systematically, very scientifically—take a concept I wanted to improve on, and I would do all this research, and I would find like, resources and what other people thought of it and whatever, and then I would write a fic where I only focused on that single thing. And then everything else I didn’t care about. So like, if I was focusing on character development or voice, then it didn’t matter what anything else was doing. I was just, one thing at at time.

And so I got to develop my class around that, and that, like, I have these like—I have lesson plans, and I have a week dedicated to fairy tales, and a week dedicated to…and the fairy tale week is actually about form. And how to break form and invoke meaning. And I have a week based on character development, a week based on, on endings, which is called “Exit Strategies.” [all laugh]

And so I do very much bring in fandom context into my classroom, because we also talk about—I should say, I meet with students one-on-one, because I’m, I think I’m better one-on-one than, you know, just standing in front of people talking at them. And I can usually tell by sitting in front of someone what their interaction with pop culture is. [all laugh] And so, like, they’ll be talking about their story, and I’ll just kind of insert, “Do you like fanfiction?” [all laugh] And it’s amazing, it’s amazing how many faces just like light up, like “I didn’t know I was allowed to write that, I didn’t know I was allowed to do that.” And I’m like “Yes, please please please write fanfic, please write things that are a step away from it, please begin with a fic and then move original,” you know.

And so when I phrase it like “You can start something with something you’re familiar with, and then slowly work it around into something original,” and that kind of branches off of what I see as a major block for a lot of people who are writing original fiction, which is there are just too many decisions to make when you face a blank page.” (From the episode transcript)

Ok, so that’s a lot of words from someone else, I know, but I think what Bett’s gets at here is so important. Writing fanfic is not only about loving something and participating in it, it’s also about learning. Writing fanfic can teach you how to write.

A simple Google search for “writing fanfic” will bring up a myriad of articles on the subject. From Julie Beck’s “What Fanfiction Teaches that the Classroom Doesn’t” to Colleen Mitchell’s “How Fanfiction can Improve your Writing” and Vivian Shaw’s “6 Ways Fanfiction Makes your Writing Stronger.”

As Betts says in the podcast episode “[Fanfic] is a genre of freedom.” It allows for lots of different ways of writing and reading and interacting with a piece of media (be it TV, movie, book, or otherwise) that other genres don’t generally allow because there are boundaries, rules of what makes a genre a genre that fanfic doesn’t necessarily have. And it becomes easier to focus on particular aspect of a piece, be it character or plot, when you don’t have to fill in all the blank space. So an AU gives you a new setting to play with, but the characters are still the same, and you’ve got the story laid out for you. Meanwhile a story where you add an OC into an existing world allows you to work on character development without making you create the setting or the plot as well.

I actually ran a survey, posted to Facebook and it only received 12 responses, so it’s by no means scientific. But I asked my friends if they wrote or read fanfic and why.

One of the questions I asked was about when they started writing fanfic, and the answer for most of them was between 10 and 15, though one person said they didn’t start writing fanfic until they were 22, and another said they started at 35! Fanfic is for everyone of all ages, is what I’m saying. I also asked when they stopped writing and while some are still going strong, others stopped in their twenties.

The most important question I asked, though, was what they got out of writing fanfic. A few of the answers were the expected, about loving the world or being inspired by reading other people’s fics. Many, though, had very interesting reasons for writing their fics.

The survey was anonymous, so here are some of the answers in no particular order:

“It was some of my first serious attempts at writing a story more than a couple pages long. It was a great way for me to practice plotting, and writing a longer piece, without having to spend all my time working on world building and character creation as well. Also, playing around with the characters and the world, almost like a set of dolls, was - and is - just plain fun!”

“I first started writing it to make my own little world where I could be important and cared about, since I didn't have it in real life. After that I was just interested in exploring a couple concepts/characters deeper than the canon did.”

“I wanted to know what happened in those side stories, but obviously the author wasn’t going to tell me so someone had to do it. I had fun, entertained myself and others, flexed my creative muscles, and learned how to emulate others’ writing voices.”

“I wanted to see the characters explore storylines that weren't getting written in the comics (Rogue was done dirty by the x-men comics in the early 2000s), half of my oc got killed off (Anakin Solo [don't get me started on how much material Disney squandered when they rendered a bunch of novels/comics non-canon]), or I just really hated all the canon pairings (HP)”

I also asked why my friends read fanfic, because a whole big part of the experience is not just writing, but reading it as well!

“The last season [of Gilmore Girls] changed writers and producers and it became a different show, so I turned to fanfic to continue wondering what would happen if the original writers and producers were on the show. Additionally, the fanfic became a lot more interesting. I realized that there were a lot more people that liked the show than I even realized. I was also really impressed with the creativity of the writers. They were able to replicate the characters, how they would act, what they would say, almost perfectly to make a completely new scenario. I would say that reading fanfic has made me more imaginative about the shows I watch, or even the books I read, but also it has opened up a realization that there is a community in almost everything you do.”

“Fanfiction gives you alternate takes so you can spend time in the viewpoint of a character who barely makes an appearance in canon. Also, importantly, fanfic is written by peers, so you can interact with the writers. We are all friends.”

“Probably the main draw is getting to spend more time with the characters that I love, and seeing how they might react in different situations that didn’t come up in the source material. Also, it can be nice to be able to search the archives online to find something to exactly match my mood at the moment (such as if I’m in the mood for angst, or romance, or family bonding, it’s easy to find exactly what I want).”

“Ff is definitely 1) an easier lift than reading something new and 2) satisfies a slightly different itch than canon. It’s easier to read just because I mostly know what to expect from the characters and the type of story. There are few unpleasant surprises and I’m already invested, and if I don’t like a story, it’s easy to drop and move on. Fix in my brain is also wish fulfillment. There are many many things I would never stand for in canon, like overly saccharine endings or pointless melodrama, that I can enjoy in ff because “real” story is already established. Canon has the hard job of making a world or a character enjoyable or interesting. Ff is where I can go to wallow (sometimes for years) in that joy or interest, whether it was a character or a dynamic or just a specific trope.”

At the end of the day, fanfic isn’t just about reimagining stories we love, it’s about reimagining those stories with other people.

Both Rachel Caine and Betts discuss this, that it was the positive feedback of the fandoms they wrote in that helped give boost their writerly self esteem and keep them coming back to write more, which eventually led to them writing their own original fiction.

Not that you have to move from fanfic into original fic! There are plenty of people who are completely satisfied writing nothing by fanfic for the rest of their lives. And that’s ok.

Whatever your experience with fic, whether you are a lurker who just reads but never comments or writes your own stuff, or if you’re a BNF (big name fan) or even a fan who became a big name (like Rachel Caine or Naomi Novik), the pleasure of fanfic is that we get to experience it together.

#fanfic #writing #reading #fansplaining #community #why #fic

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iwillgiveyoumyhappiness · 6 years ago

Note

Who are your biases from each group , what made you like them and who’s the closest to your ideal type ?

You ask the hard questions, Anon! Now, I have a rule with myself not to have any true biases because I love everyone equally, but in an alternate universe where I did have biases... This is who they’d be. (´・ω・`)

WARNING NOTE: This does not include all the groups that I’m a fan of, because then the list would be very, very long. I included the ones I could list directly off the top of my head without thinking too hard about it, so don’t be offended if your favorite group isn’t on here. Also, I won’t be counting NCT U, because their line-up changes every comeback. With that being said, enjoy!

BTS

Bias: Min Yoongi (Suga)

Reason for biasing:

I see a lot of myself in Yoongi, so I find it easy to connect with him. We have similar ways of thinking and reacting to situations, and I feel like I understand him well. That gives me hope that he’d understand me, too.

Member closet to ideal type:

Hobi. I like someone that knows how to be gentleman but will also make me laugh endlessly. If our hope/sunshine won’t do that, who will?! Seriously, when I look at him, I smile so incredibly bright- it’s insane. I think it’s important to share similar senses of humor and even though Jungkook and Jin share my overall sense of humor, I think Hobi would give me opportunities to find out new ways to make jokes that fit his style. And/or, he might adopt my style!

ONEUS

Bias: Lee Keonhee

Reason for biasing:

This is gonna sound weird, but I’m seriously such a sucker for lisps... As I said! It sounds weird! But, yeah... There ya go. I’m also someone who’s really sensitive to tone in other people, so when I hear someone with a particular type of voice, I’m drawn to it. Keonhee has that type of voice for me. It’s very smooth, higher-pitched and honey-like, so it draws me in. It carries over into his singing voice, and I think that makes him ten times more “bias material” for me. No matter what he’s doing, I can feel at ease hearing his voice.

Member closet to ideal type:

Son Dongju (Xion). We have really similar personality traits and I think we’d get on well. We both have cold appearances and fist impressions, but once you get to know us, we’ve got fluffy hearts and fun-loving natures! I think we’d get each other in a spiritual way that was just like, “Oh, hello there”, you know? Like instant wonder and curiosity. Plus! I’ve got long eyelashes too, boi. You know that we’d be having contests to see who could stack the most toothpicks on them.

ONEWE

Bias: Son Dongmyeong

Reason for biasing:

He’s my child, okay? I watched him on The Unit and Produce 101 and I appreciated his hardworking attitude, chirpy voice and steadfast talent. I look at him and I don’t want to date him, I just want to protect him. I want to give him a kiss on the forehead when he’s feeling down, I want to feed him plate-fulls of confidence and pride, I want to tell him he’s doing well and I want to be a friend to him. I want to share my smile with him, like he’s shared his. It’s funny, though. He’s my bias in ONEWE, and his twin’s my ideal type in ONEUS.

Member closest to ideal type:

Lee Giwook (Cya). I appreciate a man who can sing AND rap, okay? I think it’s really attractive to have that contrast. I feel like he has that vibe of someone that sings really loudly in the car and let’s just say... I can get behind that. I can get behind that BIG TIME. I need someone who will belt in the car with me, whether it sounds terrible or beautiful, and I think Giwook would fit the bill.

The Rose

Bias: Kim Woosung (Sammy)

Reason for biasing:

Once again, it’s mainly a tone thing. He sounds like he’s shattering, and I want to protect and encourage that. I feel the urge to show him that his voice isn’t just a voice; it’s an emotional time-capsule. He has a really upbeat but down-to-earth attitude and I feel like he cherishes the right things in life. I also think it’s really sweet how much he loves cats, even though he’s allergic. He also knows how to take a joke, which is very important, ‘cause I tease a lot. If you’re wondering why I phrased it like this...

Member closest to ideal type:

Kim Woosung (Sammy)....now you know. My bias and ideal type are the same.

DAY6

Bias: Jae Park (Jae)

Reason for biasing:

We have a really similar sense of humor, you feel me? Very memey and sarcastic. I think he drew my attention because he has so many layers. On the surface, he seems a little rude, in a way, but as you get to know him more, he says things. Certain things that make you realize, “He feels more than he’s letting on. He has fears and reservations, and he’s not 100% okay all the time”. I think that Jae has a lot of hidden insecurities that he hides behind a wall of humor (which sometimes goes too far, and can be hurtful), but I understand why he does it, and I see it in myself, so I can’t hate him for it. If I did, I’d hate a part of myself. That’s how I see Jae. A part of my own soul.

Member closest to ideal type:

I don’t really think I would be compatible with anyone from DAY6. I’d butt heads with Brian (Young K) and Jae, because all three of us are very opinionated. I’d intimidate Dowoon and Wonpil (because they’re soft boys and deserve gentle affection) and Sungjin and I would kind of just be mutual bros. Like- that kind of relationship where you keep meeting someone on accident and you’re like, “Eyyy! I know you! Wanna get some bubble tea?”; that kind of feeling. So, I don’t think I’d mesh romantically with any of them, really, but closest bet is either Jae or Dowoon. Not because I would crush on them, particularly, but because they would crush on me. Jae because my physical appearance is similar to his ideal type, and Dowoon because I’m closer to his age and mama-bear-protective, so I think he’d appreciate someone having his back when he gets teased or pranked.

AB6IX

Bias: Lee Daehwi

Reason for biasing:

I have mad respect for this dude, okay? He’s basically revolutionized one of the most basic rules for k-pop groups—just after recently debuting! He tossed aside the stigma that idols shouldn’t date by outright telling his fans, “I will dedicate 5 years to my craft, but then I would appreciate it if you gave me your blessing to date.” So, not only did he phrase it in an eloquent and respectful way (I did paraphrase, by the way), but he was also firm in his plans and intentions. He wants to get married. He has to, because he’s an only child and he has to keep his family line going. He also told people (in a respectful way) not to call him Wanna One’s Daehwi anymore. He’s AB6IX’s Daehwi now, and he’d like people to support that. That takes bravery and kindness.

Member closest to my ideal type:

..is this a surprise to anyone? It’s Daehwi. I think we have similar views (especially as far as the dating stigma goes) and opinions, so we’d be able to agree on a lot. And even if we didn’t, I think we’d be able to have debates in a fun, understanding and safe way. It wouldn’t lead to consternation, is what I mean. I also think we have similar humor and we’d be able to play off of each other well. Like, he’s a fashion king. I’m not a fashion queen. Maybe he’d tease me about that, but I could tease him right back. Maybe he gets scared of something and I’m perfectly chill. I can laugh my ass off at him and I don’t think he’d be upset with me. I think we’d have a very easy relationship that didn’t involve a lot of angst.

ASTRO

Bias: Park Jinwoo (JinJin)

Reason for biasing:

He steals my heart every time I look at him. He has a really sweet smile that just melts me (and he reminds me of a mouse) and his unique tone and rapping style really gets me into a groove. Also, he’s an amazing dancer, but I feel like he doesn’t look like someone who’d be good at dancing! Take a look at Rocky, for example. He kind of has this elegant vibe about him, but Jinwoo’s almost a little clumsy. Yet, when he dances, he exudes this level of grace and power that’s almost overwhelming. Plus! SHORT BROS UNITE!

Member closest to ideal type:

Once again, uniting with a short bro, Kim Myungjun (MJ)! He’s a Smile Engine/Happy Virus, so I know he’d be able to hype me up when I wasn’t feeling very excited. I tend to do that a lot. If I’m not completely confident or sure about something, I power down. I distance myself in a way that seems like I don’t care about things, and I think he’d give me a type of energy that would make me into a better person. Another reason; he talks a lot, I listen a lot. BUT! When it’s my turn to get a word in? Oh-ho-ho, you better grab the popcorn, ‘cause you’re gonna be there a long time! I think we’d be able to be very talkative together and we wouldn’t be annoyed by each other. Plus, he’s really dorky and mischievous, and I find that attractive. ALSO- WE HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY, SO IT’S FATE.

Stray Kids

Bias: Lee Felix

Reason for biasing:

I catch myself feeling like a proud parent whenever I look at him. I want to hype him up for all of his skills, ESPECIALLY his singing! Like, believe me, I love his deep-ass rapping, but when he hits me with that slightly wavering tone and honey vocals? I melt entirely. I’m reduced to mush in a second flat. I want to give him a lot of confidence in the things he’s not so confident in and I just want to be a shoulder to lean on. Also, I think he’s the biggest idiot, but in the cutest way. (No, Felix. Batman’s sidekick is not “Robin Hood”.) Not to mention, freckle buddies!! Yeah, that’s right, your girl’s covered in ‘em. Also, I’m a sucker for Aussie accents, so oops there.

Member closest to ideal type:

Han Jisung (Han). There’s not a particularly huge reason for this, I just think we’d compliment each other well. He has a style that I like very much, and he gives me a whirlwind of different emotions every time I look at him. I think I understand his humor better than others, so when he makes a joke and no one laughs, I’m over in the corner having an aneurysm. I like to think that means he’d get my humor, too. I think he knows when to be soft and when to be... *tiny text* hot, so that keeps things interesting; I enjoy a spontaneous man. In summary, I think we’d balance each other out well. I’m chill, he’s a little nuts (squirrel pun not intended) and I think we’d just... Meld.

NCT DREAM

Bias: Huang Renjun

Reason for biasing:

Renjun is basically my twin, but slightly more superstitious. He’s like my brother from another mother and I enjoy that because it makes me feel like, “Wow! If he’s like me and he’s that cool, maybe I can be that cool, too!” I like Renjun for very childish reasons.

Member closest to ideal type:

Park Jisung. I feel like I’d genuinely intimidate and terrify him when we first met, but I’m pretty sure we’d make a quick bond after that. I have a lot of guy-friends with similar personalities as him, and it started out the same way. Them = terrified. Me = confused. A few weeks past, us = buddies. So! I think it would be similar with Jisung, but also amplified to the point of dating. Not because we’ve very similar, but because we’re very opposite. I think we’d influence each other in positive ways. Also, hand-holding is my favorite skin-ship, and he has beautiful hands. Admit it.

NCT 127

Bias: Mark Lee

Reason for biasing:

It doesn’t take a genius to know how incredibly soft I am for this boy. From everything to his awkward laughs, his inability to make conversation with the opposite gender, his “um”s and “like”s, his sudden bursts of loudness and his caring attitude, he makes me so soft on the inside. He reminds me of the kids I babysit, in a way. In fact, when he does something whoa (you know what I mean), I’m almost scandalized and I feel like he’s growing up too fast. I love how he is passionate in a gentle way and how he chooses to push through the things that scare him in order to secure a better future for himself and his teammates. It’s very admirable.

Member closest to ideal type:

Johnny Suh. At first, Johnny may seem like he’d be a little annoying, but once you really look at him, you can easily tell that he’s loud and mischief-maker, but he also knows when to turn that part of himself off. He’s very prudent in that way. He feels like the type of guy that would smile at me from across the rooms and give me random piggyback rides, and I just... I want that, you know? I want that, and I feel like he could provide well. Plus! We have similar ways of showing affection (insert: headlocks) and similar sense of humor (insert: “What the flute!”).

WayV

Bias: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul (I will never not laugh at that name, so please, let’s call him Ten)

Reason for biasing:

We have similar senses of humor, so I find him really funny, and his dancing never ceases to amaze and bewitch me. The fact that he knows so many languages makes me jealous in a good way. I know two languages (English and Korean), and the fact that he knows so many gives me a lot of drive and determination to try harder, learn more and do better. Overall, he’s a really good motivator for me. He makes me want to dance better, sing better, speak better, etc. That’s a good thing to have in a bias, I think.

Member closest to ideal type:

Liu YangYang. Anyone who’s favorite word is “mellifluous” is a big, fat YES in my book! We actually have pretty similar personalities, too. Quiet when you first meet; loud, playful and talkative when you’ve known us for a while. Also, massive connection with his German-ness ‘cause... Ya girl is from German heritage. Makes me want to re-learn German, just because I feel like (on the off-chance I meet him one day) I’d really want to impress him. I learned it years ago, but I forgot it all, except how to say “it’s nice to meet you” and “it’s nice to meet you, too”. Can’t even introduce myself! Pathetic really, but oh well. Also, he says his eyesight’s really good... I need that. I’m practically blind without my glasses, so YangYang! Be my seeing-eye-dog! And the fact that he likes to be called “Xiao Yang” (little sheep) is also pretty coincidental, because that’s what my name means.

Seventeen

Bias: Xu Minghao (The8)

Reason for biasing:

He’s the modern gentleman. He takes care of himself, he takes care of others, he’s hardworking. Tell me, what’s not to love? He has a great sense of balance in his livelihood, and I feel like he’s someone you learn something new from every time you see him. It’s never the same thing; like he’s forever evolving and... infinite. He’s infinite. Plus! That cute giggle, though... You cannot tell me you don’t smile every time you hear it. And if you do tell me that, you’re soulless.

Member closest to ideal type:

A part of me wants to say Lee Chan (Dino) because I think our personalities are overall the most compatible, but even if I was really into that, I don’t think I’m what he needs. We’re more bro material. I think—in the end—Boo Seungkwan and I are the most compatible. I think we would always be singing loudly together (which I adore), I would be able to calm him down and let him know it’s okay to be insecure, he would hype me up and help me get over my insecurities. I think we both need a “low-effort” (for lack of a better term) relationship. One that feels like you’re truly friends with each other and being yourself is enough. You don’t have to go out of your way to impress, and I think that’s really important. With Chan, I would feel myself being pushed to be... More, I suppose. But with Seungkwan, I feel like we’d both have the sense of equality. Like, “Neither of us is better than the other, but we both have different skills we can use to help and better each other”; that kind of feeling.

ATEEZ

Bias: Kim Hongjoong

Reason for biasing:

He has this energy about him that just makes me beam every time I see or hear him. It’s like, I know he’s imperfect, as all people are, but because he handles his imperfects so well, so freely, it’s like they don’t exist at all. He’s made himself perfect with all his imperfections, because he knows how to work through and around them. His energy is addictive and I will never not feel warmth in my chest when I look at him. He’s like a first love. Faultless in my eyes, no matter how flawed.

Member closest to ideal type: Choi San

We mesh, okay? We just do. I don’t know what it is, but it’s like we share one brain-cell. I’ll do or say something before he does and then he does it and I’m like, “wAIT A SECOND- HOLD UP”. Seriously, we’ve got some soulmate-like crap goin’ on here. Also, I feel like he’s someone who appreciates the stars. I appreciate them a lot. Plus! I collect plushies, too... I share that with you very hesitantly.

Shinee

Bias: Lee Taemin

Reason for biasing:

As a person who’s not very big into the whole sexy/sensual vibe, I bet you would think his music wouldn’t really be my style, right? Wrong. His music is very, very much my style. He takes something (sexuality), which can be pretty gross and off-putting to some people, and he turns it into something elegant and beautiful. He doesn’t make it seem like tongue and sweat and need; he makes it seem like passion, love and care. Mutual respect, even. He doesn’t make you feel preyed upon, he makes you feel desired, which is an amazing feeling. Plus, I’ll never get over the stark contrast between his one-stage image and his true personality. To be honest, he’s a bit of an air-headed dork, and that’s what I love about him.

Member closest to ideal type:

Much like DAY6, no one really fits the bill for me, I don’t think. Like, sign me up to be bros with all of them, please! But also... Don’t expect us to date. But closest is probably Kibum (Key).

EXO

Bias: Kim Minseok (Xiumin)

Reason for biasing:

I appreciate the fact that he’s the eldest, but he hasn’t lost his childish spark. He’s good at making the others feel appreciated and he’s very mature in his own way without sacrificing his ability to have a good time. I think I admire that a lot. I think when I first got into EXO, everyone stood out to me in different ways (as it should be with a group), but Minseok just stood out in a way that made me feel calm and hyped up all at the same time, so I think that’s my reason. Plus! Those eyes, dude. Those eyes. Fire and passion lives inside of them.

Member closest to my ideal type:

Once again, I don’t think I’d really romantically vibe with anyone in EXO. It would range from me butting heads with them because of being too opinionated to having to be like a parent to them instead of a lover. And it’s like... I’m a babysitter. If you act like a child, I’ll fall right into mama-mode. Especially with Baekhyun or Chanyeol, I see myself treating them more like younger brothers and being treated more like an older sister or a mom than a girlfriend, and I’m not down with that. Like, I want to take care of you, but I need you to care for me too, yeah? It can’t all be on me.

Monsta X

Bias: Im Changkyun (I.M.)

Reason for biasing:

He’s very humble, chill and down-to-earth. He doesn’t seem like someone who makes a big fuss about much, and I like that a lot. He seems like someone with a kind of “you do you” attitude. He has his opinions, you have yours. Why should it matter what we think? Let’s just look into personalities. Plus, I love his tonality.

Member closest to ideal type:

...it’s Im Changkyun himself. We fit well together as far as personality goes, and he’s someone who makes me feel at ease very easily, so I would appreciate that a lot. I would also enjoy the stay-at-home dates, because I feel like he’s that type of person.

The Boyz

Bias: Kevin Moon

Reason for biasing:

It’s the humor, my dude. It’s always the humor. When I meet someone I meld with humorously—I know we’re gonna be comedy gold and it’s gonna be awesome. Also, he’s extremely talented. Every time he plays an instrument or sings, I feel like it’s more than that. It’s a story, and I admire that so much. I can look at him and know, “Hm. Yup. I’m gonna feel something. Prepare the emotional chamber!”

Member closest to ideal type:

I feel like this is another group I don’t romantically mesh with. If you think otherwise, lemme know, but as far as I see it, we’re all just really supportive, loving friends. Family!

Tomorrow X Together

Bias: Choi Beomgyu

Reason for biasing:

I find myself hyping him up every time I see him—how can it not be him? And again, the lisp... I told you I have a thing for it. It makes me mushy inside and I can’t stop it. He’s a really sweet guy, he has a lot of power while dancing and he has a very delicate tone while singing, and I appreciate him so, so much. I think his positive energy is a real joy.

Member closest to ideal type:

I’m really not sure. I feel like I have another family-like relationship with TXT. Though, even though he’s childish, maybe Kai? I feel like I might draw out the maturity in him and he would help me loosen up a little when I get too uptight. I don’t know, though.

Well! That happened. That was looooong. Dunno why you wanted to know that, but it was a very interesting case study!

Also, thank you for 100(+) followers! It’s such a huge milestone for me and I can’t thank you enough.

Hope you enjoyed!

#for anon #bias #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #kpop angst #this was fun

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sternenteile · 6 years ago

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star haven is as much of a home as the comet observatory, as rose town, as the mushroom kingdom, and as starborn valley. this place is the centerfold of his purpose, the mythical heaven wherein wishes are granted by the almighty star spirits. it is here that the star rod is used by the benevolent overseers to grant the worthiest wishes, those requested from kindhearted and moral individuals. to the sound of the average person, this is sure to sound like a dream world, something of a fantasy.

to geno, being here as of late has been a nightmare.

permitted to do his job as both protector of star road and of earth, it is only with reluctance that they’ve budged on this much. rosalina’s desire to bring him back to the planet he loves so much conflicts directly with eldstar’s teachings, yet he’s persisted, doing her proud and bettering himself. he’s... never been this happy and lively before, not since the months proceeding his birth, not since he was a baby star. he has friends, family, a life, ambitions, dreams...

... and they’re not too keen on that idea.

ever since the star spirits had conversed with her excellence, tensions have been running high. even the sweetest of the star spirits —— darling mamar —— has been rather stiff and curt with him. misstar, perhaps the crankiest of them all, has been flat-out ignoring and avoiding him. it’s as if he wears the mark of a cursed one, all because he isn’t attached to the cosmos 24/7. how dare he behave like his own person and not like a mindless worker bee, eh? how dare he?

his frown carves deep as he approaches the glory of star sanctuary, fountains bobbing stars aloft its spray. fists ball, and he realizes in that moment that he’s dreading giving a report on the status of the planet. the last thing he wants to do is talk with them, feeling their scornful gazes searing into his wooden surface like a hot beam from a magnifying glass.

it’s just plain ridiculous.

as foreseen, their eyes are on him the minute he steps inside, boots clicking on the crystalline floor with his steady approach. shifting into a dedicated poker face from his grumpier countenance, geno speaks with forced reverence, language leagues more respectful than his mind would otherwise dictate.

❝ master eldstar. ❞ he wills himself to look to him without cracking under the pressure. ❝ i’ve come to report the status of earth. if you’ll allow me to go into the details, please lend me your ears. ❞

the spirits have all fallen silent. they exchange looks, tiny nods of affirmation, and finally, their gaze is squarely on his own, eyes all-knowing. to his response, the eldest of them finally speaks, his voice gravelly.

❝ i’m afraid you will have to listen to us first, ♡♪!?. ❞

the doors are swiftly guarded by both muskular and kalmar —— security and a mediator —— to which geno whirls to face them, startled and puzzled. the clearing of one’s throat draws his attention back to the elder star above, his stare particularly discriminatory. the energy pumping through his own wooden body grows uncharacteristically cold. flight-or-fight response is already beginning to kick in, yet he is frozen in place, knowing well that he cannot just leave or retaliate. for better or for worse, he isn’t going anywhere.

❝ we have been deliberating over your... earthly ventures, ❞ comes mamar’s gentler voice, less stern, yet still laced with unease and upset. ❝ we understand why your grace has sent you there, but i’m afraid that we cannot help but disagree with the imbalance this has caused. star road isn’t under your watchful eye anymore, and we’ve had to fill the void with other stars. ❞

what? what is this that he’s hearing? he hasn’t been watching star road? that’s news to him. utilizing launch stars, the observatory, and physically being there from time-to-time equates to completely neglecting his job? he flinches. do they really think so little of him?

❝ my perception of the matter, ❞ pipes up skolar, ❝ is that you’ve strayed from our carefully crafted system. have you ever heard of the domino effect? when one piece goes down, the others in succession will surely follow. ❞ his glasses flash with disappointment. ❝ the stars have begun to whisper among themselves. they’re questioning your decisions, and whether or not they are the right ones. ❞

a snort from behind him, and geno is acutely aware of muskular’s disdain. kalmar whispers something to the adjacent blue star, perhaps to settle him down, and they both fall silent. misstar, remaining ever bitter, doesn’t bother to give her two cents, and so klevar meekly adds, ❝ he’s right. we’ve been seeing a change in behavior, and... we’re very concerned about where this is going. it could change everything, just because you were behaving rather... ah... how do i put this nicely — ? ❞

❝ — selfish. ❞

geno’s body locks up, horror stricken onto his face by the sound of misstar’s voice lifting with a stain of resentment to her tone. ❝ you’ve been selfish. can’t you see what you’re doing? your actions are the most outrageous we’ve ever seen in one of ours. you can’t just go gallivanting around and doing whatever you please. you may as well be a god among men, and you just don’t realize how wrong that is. what do you even have to SAY for yourself? ❞

quietude engulfs the room, and geno’s hands quiver underneath the hellish tension. jaw trembles slowly open as he tries to find the words, terrified and hurt by the things they are saying. ❝ i’m, uh... it’s just that... ❞

❝ just what, ♡♪!? ❞ misstar’s response is biting, aiming right for the jugular. ❝ you just want to let us all down? let all of them down? do you not realize how important you are in the grand scheme of things? but oh, no. instead, you just desecrate everything we’ve structured to please yourself. this is all that it is! ❞ her gesture towards him is with repugnance. ❝ all you’re thinking of is yourself! this is everything you should NEVER be doing!! ❞

to that does eldstar interject. ❝ that is enough. ❞ despite attempts to silence her, he refuses to buckle into geno’s habits. ❝ ♡♪!?, you have gone too far. we ask for you to part with that planet at once. ❞

that’s when he feels like the world has shattered around him. they want him to leave. they want him to leave all of his friends behind again. mario, luigi, peach, mallow, link, fox, otto, bonbon, james... everyone. they want him to just dump them aside like trash. again.

❝ master eldstar, with — ❞ damn, damn that stammer. he’s losing his cool. he can’t do that, he can’t lose his cool, he can’t, not NOW ——— ❝ with all due respect, i— i can’t just —— ❞

❝ yes, you can — and you shall. ❞ requests give way to demands, and eldstar’s gaze is piercing. it’s the culmination of everything he’s ever feared. ❝ you have a purpose to uphold. you cannot just toss that away. you are to return to star haven permanently within the next rotation. do i make myself clear? you will do as you are told. ❞

. . .

he has to go back. everyone is counting on him. he has to fight for their wishes. his own life doesn’t and has never mattered. he doesn’t have a life like a normal person, being a concept and a beacon to organic beings who look to him for hope. he is but a speck in their night sky, yet he means everything to them in the most distant, personally insignificant way possible. he has to return to star haven now, or else he will be letting them all down.

letting them all down... the star spirits of star haven, whereas his friends, the people he loves so dearly will cry for him again, begging for their wish to see him again to be granted, just please, please, come back, geno, come back, PLEASE ———

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

❝ — no. ❞

the silence is deafening. their faces have all fallen, taken completely aback. eldstar is simply aghast. ❝ wh... what did you just say? ❞

❝ i. said. NO. ❞

❝ how dare you?! ❞ misstar sounds particularly angry, nay, livid. ❝ don’t you dare talk back to us like that ever again, or ——— ❞

❝ or what? what are you going to do? ❞ a step is taken forward. two, three, and each one grows heavier with a stomp to punctuate his irritation, his outrage. a chord has snapped within him, and he has no patience for this anymore. ❝ what do you WANT to do?! you wouldn’t just kill me, would you? one of your own? what, will you tell me that i can’t defend my own home anymore? the place i’m supposed to protect, just like you said? will you denounce me? will you shut me down? will you hate me? ❞

❝ ♡♪!?, ❞ chides eldstar. ❝ that is enough ——— ❞

❝ NO. you’re NOT making me cower this time! you want me to respect you, ❞ he speaks with venom tinging his shouting, ❝ yet you treat me like i’m nothing more than a SLAVE. i fought for star road, for wishes, for everyone, and THIS is how you thank me? to them, this is a happily thankless job, but you have never treated me with ANY kind of dignity. i’m supposed to just sit down, shut up, do my job, and sacrifice EVERYTHING to do YOUR dirty work! when was the last time YOU defended the star rod? oh, that time bowser came in and imprisoned you all without so much as fighting back? calling for the other stars to defend you? to take the fall for you? and you’re calling ME selfish because i just want to be myself? because THIS PLACE is failing ME? am i really that useless to you? that worthless? my feelings don’t matter, do they? my life doesn’t matter. nothing. ever. MATTERED. ❞

something strikes their faces in that moment, and eldstar, the pillar that he is, allows his expression to crumble. ❝ ♡♪!?, that... that isn’t true at all! please —— ❞

❝ PLEASE. NOTHING. i am DONE listening to you, old man. i am totally and entirely DONE WITH YOU. every. single. one of you. ❞ marching forth to the altar, to where the star rod floats in tranquility, he bellows, ❝ don’t you ever call me by that name again. ♡♪!? is GONE. i am geno now. the star that you knew may as well be dead to you. the fact that you, whom i’ve known for centuries, treat me worse than the friends i’ve known for merely years, speaks volumes about your archaic views on our kind... no, on your kind. i loathe the idea of being compared to YOU. this place means so much to me, and i will do whatever i can to keep it safe, to keep wishes granted, whether or not i have your blessing to do so. ❞

his reflection is seen in the surface of the star rod’s cosmic wonder, and the person he sees there is exactly who he says he is. he isn’t that timid little star anymore. never again.

❝ everyone’s wishes... i’ll defend them ‘til the day i die. and you ——— ❞

he hisses and turns heel, shoving the surprisingly complacent, yet horrified muskular and kalmar aside as to exit the building.

❝ never, ❞ he commands, voice cracking with the difficulty of letting go, the sadness of being turned away, the tears threatening to spill over, ❝ put another star through what you put me through ever again, or there will be hell to pay. ❞

he takes his launch star home, to his real home with his mother, his friends, and his humanity, and never once looks back.

#★ ; ( ic. )#● ; ( prose. )#♫ ; ( verse ~ the present. )#not an open and also ungodly long #but HOOOOOOOOOO BOY #THIS WAS A LONG TIME COMING #HOOOOO BOOOOOOOOY #and now you get to see what else from su has inspired my geno:#pink diamond. :^)

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amazildoessomethingstupid · 5 years ago

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We Did It Bois!

youtube

WE GOT DAT ANON HATE! I actually had to double-check cause I wasn’t sure if I turned on asks for this blog, apparently not. Fuck, man I’ve been missing out! This mad lad had to go over to False Idol to leave a comment anonymously. And since I don’t want that blog getting cluttered let’s respond to it over here shall we? Let’s see what this man has to say.

Oh I’m sorry, was my use of the “N-word” inappropriate? I thought it was quite clear, I was making reference to a joke that’s been a part of the public conscious and internet culture for like a decade now. And I’m absolutely certain if I used that old artifacted to shit meme you wouldn’t be offended!

Oh wait, no.

There we go. That cool? You get the joke?

I mean, it’s literally the same words, same usage, same context, and demeanor that’s meant to be conveyed! I actually shy away from using slurs in a purely derogatory way, because that’s not fun or funny. And if you didn’t catch on, the whole point of these rants is to have fun, while tearing into the comic where it deserves! But oh no, I can’t say the N-Word even if its clearly done as reference to a popular meme! Even if it’s done in a positive sense, in approval of a character and their actions! How dare I as a brown man use the N-Word! That’s only for black people! I should stick to the slang words of my own culture that no one gets or would interpret as a joke, right you fucking cuxika haoli?!

And as for the cocksleeve comment, oh sure. I’m sorry, did I hurt the feelings of this fictional teenage girl? By calling her a shameful lazy plot device? Forget the fact I was carpet bombing these “kids” with F-bombs like LBJ in ‘nam, calling a fictional girl in a comic a narrative cocksleeve is just too far! Even though I clearly stated what the term represented, and how it’s not actually a sexual term in the context of the rant, this is clearly me calling this fictional girl a sextoy. How dare I? I should use a softer word, or descriptor in this instance, to lessen the impact of its use, make it less intuitive as to what it means, like all the words you people come up with! But oh don’t worry, I know what you’re saying. Alright! Fine! It’s a harsh word! I even stated as such in the rant, I should’ve used softer words. Kinda like how my friend says I shouldn’t call Paulo a Cop-Out Gay, but instead use the term “queerbaiting” because that definitely has the same impact and gets the point across so much better.

And while we’re on the subject of fictional character ages, you do realize Sam (the cat I use to represent myself in these rants) is like 13, right? And hell, in the rant I’ve not only battered her to a broken pulp.

Bu I also shot this fictional 13 year old girl in the face!

drink alcohol

and attempt suicide! (although Taeshi’s done that too...)

Oh man I actually forgot where I was in this ask, what’re they going on about now?

If you’re talking about the reaction images, you do realize that these are all speed sketches right?

I literally made this whole page of reaction Sams in like an hour. Thus the lack of polish, or that much detail. This entire series is just a fun side thing to break up monotony (and punish myself for when I start to slack off). Not to mention, if being good at an art medium was the only way you could be a good critic of said medium, then I guess Red Letter Media, Doug Walker,and Brad Jones are all hacks. Not to mention all the other independent movie, music, and art reviewers too.

(although I’m sure you’d probably be the guy who’d argue that RLM are all hacks anyway)

and I like how you’ll insult my art and writing, but the only actual complaints you have are on the words I’ve used. And a lame insult to my art. And you say I don’t know how to write a story, but you don’t insult any part of my story or writing.

You don’t even have to look at all of it either! I had a little snippet right in the rant! It’s right there, you think I can’t write a story, or character? Why don’t you criticize these scenes I pulled from my own comic? And don’t worry, I’ll let you critique it even if you draw worse than me! Cause I’m just a nice guy like that~

But I see you’ve written more, so let’s see what that’s about.

Excuse you! I’ll have you know I’ve been drawing these fancomics for almost FIVE years now!

And yeah, guy. It’s called perseverance and dedication to the craft. It’s what happens when you have a hobby that you love, and spend time working on. It’s how you can go from this

to this

From this

to this

I know 4 years seems like a long time to progress, and it is. But y’know what? That’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve spent 4 long, straight years on this stuff, and that’s a feat that too few artists are able to accomplish. I’ve seen so many astists and webcomics, fan projects, fall apart and not even reach one year before they burn themselves out or give up. Artists much greater than me, who honestly deserved to have their stories told, and visions seen. And you can say whatever you want about me, but y’know what? I can proudly say, I finished a long-form story comic. I said what I wanted to say, I made the comic I wanted to make. And that’s something that too many artists don’t live to see. And hell, that’s something Taeshi can’t say!

I still have work to do, (clean up my lines, work on backgrounds more, be better at plotting scenes...) but I know that if I keep pushing at this rate, and bear in mind what I should improve; the next 4 years will only get better. The only reason I’m not better now, is because of my time on the forum and being pressured by people like you to give up and not pursue what I love doing. Instilling a sense of insecurity and self-doubt I didn’t have before. But then again, it’s because of that, that I learned to look so deeply into my own stories to figure out what’s wrong and work on it. To look at BCB and see its own flaws and to call Taeshi out on that, and to not make those same mistakes myself.

and even better

It’s what’s made me smart and tough enough to not just take a punch, but throw it back at you.

But now to the final comment!

“No note Joe”?

Oh my god, what do you even say to something like that? Is that really the best insult nickname you could come up with? Is this the kind of lame ass insults you make when you restrict what words you can use? Jesus! That doesn’t even make sense! I know what a one-note person means, I can assume what a no-note person means, but I don’t know what that would have to do with however many people actually care about my art. Dude are you okay? I mean this in a serious way, I don’t mean to insult really but...

Are you mentally deficient? are you actually retarded? If so, I admit I do feel a little bad about this.

but also

> Only you, and what, three other people give a shit about your stank artwork and attitude.

BRUH

SuitCase WISHES there was only 3 people who are like me.

But that’s the problem isn’t it?

You really believe that I’m the only one who thinks this shit. You honestly think that I’m just a random outlier who is just bitching on the internet. Let me tell you, I’m not alone. And for a long time, I thought I was. When I started doing comics almost 5 years ago, fully believing I was alone. But what I learned from those 4 years making comics, working on the canon, and now doing these rants was that I wasn’t. That there are people who feel these frustrations. Not all of them, maybe not to the same degree as me, but they are there. And what’s sad is that I’m probably the first and only person they’ve heard talk about this shit. To say the things they’ve been thinking to themselves, and hiding from people like you, because they know if they tried to voice their opinions they’d get shut down the same way. I’m not championing anyone, I’m not trying to be a role model, or want to be some icon of controversy or dissent.

I just got no more fucks to give, and a lot of shit to say.

I’d also like to mention, because someone brought up the point that this person is probably just a troll. And I shouldn’t respond, but calling/assuming someone’s a troll and ignoring them is exactly what SuitCase does, and if there was someone I’d like to think I’m better than, it’d be fucking SuitCase. Besides, I’ve already got the next update for False Idol colored and lined, and ready for words, and the next update after that sketched up and ready for lines. So I can spend the time to meme the hell out of an asshole. And if you think I ain’t gonna take the opportunity to make fun of a guy who can’t properly criticize, argue, or even insult me.

Then you really.

on some shit.

(Part 2 of the rant will be coming soon)

#rant response #ask

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aggresivelyfriendly · 7 years ago

Photo

~Meet Me In The Hallway~ Chapter 11- Red Eye

I am red.

I'm wearing red and feeling that way too.

I feel foolish and ignored.

I've painted my Lips crimson, and borrowed shoes with soles to match.

I feel like I'm screaming "look at me! Look at me! Damn it, please look at me."

And the people are. Michael about screamed when I walked out to go to this tour gathering.

"What's that?" He'd pointed at me, gesticulating a bit wildly around.

"What is what exactly?" I tried for nonchalance as I reached down to pull the heel I was stepping into, like someone else's skin, over the back of my foot. I was well aware that I did not look like I usually did and that my big brother would not like what he saw when I suited up.

That's what it felt like to, like I was Superman ducking into a phone booth and putting on a part of me, a secret identity. One that I didn't share, hadn't really wanted to. But, tonight I slid the slinky red dress over the body I usually covered with days-old jeans and pilfered t shirts like it was a spandex scarlet speedo. I wanted to rock like I had a capital S on my chest that stood for sexy. Hester prynne and me wearing the badge like a brand.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" He trailed after me as I breezed by him to the mini br already helpfully supplied with the alcohol I had decided I would imbibe tonight.

I desperately needed the social lubricant I usually scorned. Harry had told me ages ago I could let go with him. It had been months, months ago, that we had gotten close. It wasn't close enough. I wanted more than his secrets inside of me. I had tried my best to be his best friend, but I was sick of that role and tonight I was determined to play another.

I poured the whisky already open over the last melting ice cube I had fished out of the bucket. It was brown grained leather on the outside, but the inside was just as inadequate as every ice holder at any level of hotel ever. I stared at it for a second before I decided I was projecting. I pulled the skirt of my sheath down a little and ignored the accompanying shift in the neckline while I answered Michael.

"A dress," I took a big sip of the brown fluid and coughed. My brother pulled the tumbler from my hand and sat it down harshly.

"I'm not sure that counts as a dress." He scoffed md shot the rest of my drink. He grimaced, "and since when do you drink whiskey straight?"

"Since now?" I poured the last of the bottle into my cup and took a gulp. Forcing myself not to react.

Michael blinked at me. "Listen, I knew you were upset when you came in earlier, and I was an asshole and decided I'd ignore it figuring it was some girl shit and you'd b fine by tonight." He looked me up mr down. "But, your current game of dress up makes me think I should have stopped you to talk then. What's up?"

"Nothing, I'm fi—"

"Fine," he finished for me. "But I'm calling bullshit, because you just used the words nothing and fine within seconds of each other. Where were you last night?"

I laughed. That was a question he probably shou have asked before we left the UK, the carecwas yo little to late. His concern was also the source of my irritation in about a million ways.

Harry and I had been cirque de soleil level acrobats lately based on the skill with which we had been walking the tightrope of friendship over the abyss of more. I wanted to dive in and trust that a blanket of feelings would rise up to catch me, and that he would follow me down. I'm not sure what he wanted; so I walked the line.

I caught him at times. Well, daily, really. He of the lingering stare and the constant touch.

There must have been opposing magnets in his palm and my sacrum. He loved to touch me there, I deduced. The sway of my back a desktop pendulum he carelessly set in motion when in need of a fidgety distraction. The regularity with which he pulled me in and wrapped me up in his spider arms would be alarming if I didn't want to live in his web.

So here I was, ready to ruin the friendship and making every effort to do so.

"I slept over with a friend last night, brother. How about you?" I grinned and took a tentative sip, not ready to brave a full mouthful while I tried to talk tough and declare my independence and outfit determination.

He had the good grace to look chagrined. "That's not the point." He carefully took my glass away and I let him because of the tender look in his eyes. "I think maybe I haven't been looking after you properly. 'Ve been distracted with all the—"

"Perks." I helpfully supplied with air quotes.

We shared a conspiratorial grin before his face pulled a 180. "Have you been enjoying 'perks'?" He didn't like the thought of that.

So I took pity on him and dropped my persona for a minute as told him my unfortunate truth. "No. I haven't." I held up crossed fingers. "But, it's not your business if I had been, Michael." I said it tenderly but meant it with all of my heart.

"Look, I know you are a grown up," he looked around helplessly., at me and then at the ground. "But, I promised mum I'd look out for you, and I think she'd have objections to this get u—"

"And I'd tell her what I'm gonna tell you." I took my drink back, thinking it funny that we're essentially sharing the whiskey. It had loosened our tongues and the reins on our feelings. "I'm a big girl, I'll wear what I like. Lou had the dress and I like the way I look. The way I feel." I put my hand on his forearm. "Let me try this version of me on tonight, when it's safe, and you can keep an eye on me?" I said it like a question, my neville chamberlain attempt at appeasement.

I would give him an inch, but I wasn't changing.

"You look really beautiful," he grinned but it didn't reach his eyes. "Though it pains me to admit it." He looked me over again, "yeah, I really don't like it."

"Luckily, you don't have to like it, mate," I handed him back the tumbler and he finished it. "Ready?"

"Ugh." He shivered with the final gulp. "Yeah, let's go." He offered his arm and I decided to go with the silly mood he was setting.

That crisis was averted, but the current situation has me much madder than my brother's overprotective-ness could evoke.

I'm not sure what I had been expecting that night, I think I had spent so much time ruminating over my feelings and planning my appearance, that I just expected- more.

I knew how I felt about Harry, well I had sight of the iceberg at least. I may not have been sure about the submarine expanse, but I knew. Fuck being best friends.

But, his best friend had been a recent declaration up til that point. Only a month had passed since he had put a label on us. A label that felt like the sweater a rich auntie gives you. Beautiful and special, maybe even rich, but I'll fitting. It felt much to small to contain what I was sure we had.

Those were all of my feelings though. I had not asked Harry directly about his feelings. I only knew about the inadequate vestment he had put upon us. Even now, I'm not sure where he was in those early days.

We mourn expectations more than anything I guess.

My expectations were sky high. Maybe I thought I would walk in, looking like a million possibilities, and bucks, and he would fall at my feet; Fawn over me the way I restricted myself from doing on a daily basis. Far away from prying eyes. Why I thought he would out us, when there was no us, I don't know. He was not as private as he continually became, but we had mutually and silently agreed to be a secret.

I hate comfortable silence.

I especially hate uncomfortable silence. And that is what I encountered. Besides a widening of the eyes when I walked in, there was no acknowledgement of my presence, let alone the moth to flame scenario I had imagined. All of the conversations I had rehearsed as I painted my lips red in preparation for painting the town the same hue, went unused.

Maybe he was not uncomfortable. Maybe the chafe of my dress and the chap of my hide had more to do with how totally at ease he seemed.

He was not fawning over me. There was most certainly fawning however. And Harry, rather than falling at my feet was occupied entirely with the girl at his feet.

She was actually on his lap. And she was perfect. She was not the lady in red and I thought her dress was a size too small. It still fit her better than mine did.

They weren't kidding, but it seemed a matter of time to me.

I couldn't stand the thought of his lips on hers. I had decided earlier, when I chose the lip stain rather than the stick, where I wanted his mouth painted at the end of this night. More expectations unmet.

I was doing my best not to notice how much she was laughing. I wanted to pretend that it was a put upon giggle. His harmony of snort and sneeze was undeniable though. I knew that laugh intimately. Half of the lines I had crafted while curling my hair carefully had been dedicated to drawing it out.

My stomach hurt.

I realized that I didn't remember when I had last eaten. I walked away from the crew member who had shown me the attention I was seeking. He was sweet and attentive, and lacking. His eyes weren't even green.

I don't recall if I said a word in excuse when I walked away.

I found Niall, predictably, by the food. When I took a plate, he looked up in happy surprise.

"Mel, you look cracking!" He exclaimed and hugged me. I loved the exuberance of Niall in theory. In practice, it overwhelmed me. But I wasn't me today, and I was just begging for worthy attention. Niall would do. He was at least answering my call for attention.

"Thank, Niall!" I tried to match his volume If not his enthusiasm. "What's good eating here."

He finished chewing the bite he had taken of the hunk of brown bread taking up most of his plate.

"Well, my Irish heart is currently full because Sarah made me this," he pointed to the piece of loaf.

"Bread?"

"No, dear silly Australian girl! Irish brown bread. Best bread in the world." His expansive gesture nearly sent his precious to the floor. "It's rich and yeasty and fillin. Here try it." He plonked some onto my plate.

"That description sounds like it requires a trip to the doctor, mate. It's less compelling than you think," I looked at the slab as he buttered it dubiously.

"Nah, you'll see, just try it," he assured.

"Bottoms up," I raise it to my mouth.

"That's for Guinness lover, that comes next, but try this first." Niall nodded as I chewed.

"Ummmm," I commented while taking another bite. The bread was wntirely satisfying and was soaking up the sourness in my belly caused by whiskey and emotion.

"Right!" Niall loaded me with another piece and some roast meat and gave me a one second gesture while he ran off. He returned with a beer and I found that I wanted to stay in his warm presence. His warm amber glow has dulled the green of my envy and red of my rage.

I found myself laughing and accepted the beers Niall fetched me, maintaining the buzz in my veins and ignoring the one in my brain.

I knew that Niall was pleasant company. On the few days when everybody was out and about, or bound inside, together he was hard to miss. Often the center of attention, with a guitar on his lap, a song in his throat and a smile on his lips. He was easy to be around. Being the center of his attention was flattering. I also appreciated that he didn't seem to care who saw us.

We had caught a fair few eyes. Lou looked delighted for instance. I'd seen Lottie lean in conspiratorially several times to her ear. It was nice to be part of their clique. They eVen seemed to have enjoyed my distracted behavior at the mall and liked me anyway. I'd also seen Louis nudge Liam not so nonchalantly.

My boys had also noticed. Ashton has even called Niall out for it. But Niall has only raised a glass to him. The cheer that came up as a result warmed my cheeks, but I was surprised how happy I was to stay on the cozy couch even with the focus of the room shifting to us with regularity.

There were two pairs of eyes not as enthused by the boisterous laughs and innocent touches my Irish friend gave and evoked.

Occasionally I could feel the burn of familiar mossy eyes on me. They were not the only pair trained on the way I was tucked under Niall's shoulder giggling. Michael looked particularly sour, his mouth downturned and I wondered when he would come over with some excuse to butt into my lively conversation.

I basked in it. It was not the attention I wanted paid to me, from Harry or Niall, and especially not Michael. I didn't really want anybody else's attention at all, but I could ignore it. Michael was also impressing me. He respected my earlier statements for longer than I expected. My display was being respected, however upsetting my brother found it.

It was effective though. My intended target was thoroughly distracted from the manicured hand currently plowing rivulets through his curly head.

This incarnation of me is unfamiliar. She is useful though, and I for a moment appreciate why so many artist have a persona they take on when they need to be something they are not, or grander than they feel.

I feel as powerful as the color I am wearing and as noticeable. But, the best part?

I'm not the only who is red.

Unbeta-ed as @nocontrolforlouis had better be on a surfboard and I left it to long to ask @emulateharry. Forgive the mistakes, I loathe editing.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #meet me in the hallway #mmith #chapter 11 #anybody got blue balls

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sushigirlali · 7 years ago

Text

Finding You - Part III (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V - Part VI - Part VII - Part VIII - Part IX

Summary: Unseen forces move against Kylo Ren from within the First Order as he struggles to unravel Snoke’s deceptions / Rey must balance her relationship with Ben Solo and her dedication to the cause that opposes him / Leia Organa makes a desperate plea to an old friend in a last ditch effort to restore the Resistance. Pairing: Rey x Kylo Ren/Ben Solo [Reylo] [ReyBen] Continuity: Set directly after Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi ends. Warnings: There is a lemon in Part II. Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or anything that relates to Star Wars.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has enjoyed my little story, and a special shout out to those who have left kind reviews. I really appreciate it, and they definitely motivate me to write more. I haven’t received any nastiness myself, but some people really seem to hate the Reylo ship. Still, I want to stay positive and not sink to the same level as antis. Fandom can be a scary place sometimes, but it’s okay to like what you like and not worry about the rest. May the Force be with you <3 You can find me on FanFiction.net as sushigirlali as well. Enjoy!

Finding You - Part III By: sushigirlali

I know forever don’t exist After this life, I’ll find you in the next When I say “forever,” it’s the goddamn truth I’ll keep finding, finding you

Rey raced into the Millennium Falcon’s lounge, panting hard. She had barely taken time to dress after breaking the connection with Ben.

“General Organa!” she gasped as she slid to a stop in front of her.

“Rey? What’s wrong?” Leia asked, looking away from the star map BB-8 was projecting.

“I need to speak with you. Alone. Urgently.” Rey said quickly. “Please.”

Leia got up, exchanging worried glances with Poe and the other surviving senior officers.

“Let’s talk in the crew quarters.” Leia indicated for Rey to follow her.

Luckily, the sleeping quarters were empty as they arrived, so Rey launched into a clumsy explanation.

“Ben is—I’ve done something without permission. He—Ben is returning to us. He’s choosing the light. I—I…” Rey stammered, realizing all of a sudden that she was talking to her lover’s mother, and not just General Organa.

“Rey,” Leia said sternly. “Come sit down, child, and speak slowly.”

“General, I told Ben where we are. He’s—" She started.

“You did what?” Leia sat up sharply.

“Please, General, please let me explain.” Rey begged her.

“Proceed.” Leia allowed.

“Ben and I are—well. What I’m trying to say is he’s leaving the First Order. Today. Right now. Hux is trying to seize control and kill him, so he has to leave immediately. I told him our location and he’s coming to Ahch-To.” Rey held her breath, trying to decipher Leia’s expression.

“Rey, I know that the dark side can be tempting, but—” Leia began skeptically.

“It’s not like that.” Rey interrupted. “I’m sorry that I haven’t spoken to you about this before now, but I was trying to protect him. Ben and I are bonded through the Force. We can project ourselves over any distance and speak to each other. Just as Luke did on Crait.”

“Did Luke know about this…connection?” Leia asked, stunned at the revelation.

“Yes, he did.” Rey acknowledged. “He tried to stop me from going to Snoke’s ship, but I knew that I had to in order to save Ben. General, he’s changed. He finally knows the truth about Luke’s supposed betrayal—”

“You know why my son turned to the dark side?” Leia looked shocked.

“Yes, both Ben and Luke explained their side of the incident to me. But that’s not what matters. What matters is that Ben has been able to look objectively at the events of that fateful night, and now realizes that he was mistaken. Ben knows that Luke would not have killed him. With this vital piece of information, along with Snoke’s death, I truly believe that he’s free to be Ben Solo again.” Rey said honestly.

Leia still looked extremely concerned. “I would love to believe you, Rey, but what if Kylo Ren is able to control you through this link, like Snoke did him?”

“General, Ben has never been able to control me. Not even the first time we met, when I was a complete novice in the ways of the Force.” Rey insisted.

“Has he used it to hurt you in any way?” Leia enquired.

“No!” Rey denied emphatically. “No, he’s been very gentle. Even when he’s angry with me, he hasn’t tried to harm me.”

“How often have you linked with him?”

“At first it was random, maybe every couple of days, but I initiated the bond myself just a few hours ago. I think I can do it again. I think he can too.” Rey informed her truthfully. “As far as I can tell, our bond is sustained through the Force itself. Like a spiritual bridge.”

Despite herself, Leia looked up in wonder. “That is a rare thing, Rey, to be able to hold such a strong connection without adverse effects.” Rey knew she was thinking about her dearly departed brother.

“Yes, I know.” Rey replied earnestly.

“Can you interact physically through this bond?” Leia’s queried, her eyes fixed on Rey’s face.

Rey blushed, but nodded.

“Rey, are you sure your mind hasn’t been clouded by Kylo Ren? The Sith are capable of a great many mind games. He could be using you, tricking you, in order to find our base. I can’t allow the Resistance to be snuffed out, not even for my wayward son, not even for you.” Leia said seriously.

Staring directly into her eyes, Rey covered Leia’s hand with her own, allowing her leader access to her mind at will. “I swear to you with all that I am, Ben is on our side! He fought side-by-side with me against Snoke’s Praetorian Guard. He killed Snoke himself to protect me. General, Ben Solo is in love with me.”

Leia’s eyes winded as she sensed the truth behind Rey’s words, seeing Ben as Rey did through her memories. “I…thought he was gone forever, after Han…but now…Rey, you’ve pulled off a miracle.”

Leia sounded so hopeful that Rey knew the General was finally starting to understand. Rey only prayed that Leia would skip over their more personal moments if she read her mind further. Still, the potential embarrassment was worth it to save Ben’s life.

“Alright, we’ll help him.” Leia conceded, wiping away an errant tear. “But I’m still not comfortable with putting the Resistance in harm’s way. There are so few of us now. Do you have a plan?”

“I think you and the rest of the Resistance should take the Falcon and disappear for a few hours. I’ll wait here for Ben, and will call you back when it’s safe.” Rey said.

“How will you contact us?” Leia asked.

“With the binary beacons. I’ll turn mine on once it’s safe to come back.” Rey replied.

“This could work.” Leia contemplated. “What is my son’s part in all this? Did he tell you of his intentions?”

“Ben said he may have to blow up the Star Destroyer his command shuttle is on to get out. But honestly, I’m hoping he’s able to sneak away without a fight. Since we know the First Order has developed active lightspeed tracking, I’m scared that he’ll unintentionally lead the First Order to our doorstep.” Rey said, voicing fears that had arisen once her senses came back to her.

“Obviously, you didn’t consider the consequences when you gave my son the coordinates to our safe haven.” Leia said disapprovingly.

Rey felt her face heat. No, in her panic, she hadn’t thought about anyone but Ben.

“You’re not the first, nor will you be the last, to be struck momentarily insane by love.” Leia sighed, patting Rey’s hand in a motherly manner.

“General, I’m sorry that I acted so rashly. I was afraid.” Rey freely admitted.

Leia nodded in understanding. “Are you sure that you’ll be alright alone down here? I could leave Poe or Finn with you.” She suggested with a twinkle in her eye.

“I don’t think that would help the situation, but thanks for worrying about me. Besides, I haven’t, uh, talked to Finn about Ben yet.” Rey cringed at the idea of telling her best friend she was in love with the perceived enemy.

“I’m sure he’ll take it in stride, having just recently discovered love himself.” Leia responded pointedly.

Rey laughed, as Leia had meant her too.

“Now, I have to go sell this outlandish plan to our compatriots. I suggest you sneak out the back and get that beacon ready.” Leia stood, drawing Rey up into a warm hug.

“Thank you for trusting me, General.” Rey sighed, appreciating the comfort Leia offered.

“I think you should get used to just calling me Leia.” She smirked in that way mother’s do when they know something that you don’t.

But, never having had a real mother before, Rey just smiled back before taking her leave.

I know forever don’t exist But after this life, I’ll find you in the next So when I say “forever,” it’s the goddamn truth

Rey paced back and forth on the flat, rocky outcrop where the Millennium Falcon had lifted off from five hours earlier. She was beginning to worry about Ben. It had been over an hour since she had attempted to connect with him through the Force. He hadn’t responded to her call, nor had he tried to make contact himself.

“Where are you, Ben?” Rey wondered out loud.

Rey knew she was being unreasonable, but he should’ve at least checked in with her by now. Maybe their bond didn’t work at lightspeed? No, that was stupid. The Force wasn’t bound by something as technological as hyperspace travel. Still, there had to be a reason why he had remained silent so far.

Rey steadfastly refused to think about the worst-case scenario. No, Ben was alive out there, somewhere. She would know if something had happened to him. Leia would know.

So, Rey paced until nightfall when, just as panic started to set in, Ben’s command shuttle materialized in the dark blue sky. Rey almost fell to her knees in relief as the craft maneuvered effortlessly onto the landing site.

Minutes later, the entrance ramp extended outward, revealing a cloaked silhouette in the doorway. Rey ran forward as the figure staggered slightly down the gangway.

“Ben?!” Rey yelled as she drew near.

“I’m okay.” He assured her. “Just a little beat up.”

Rey pulled him into a tight hug, kissing his bruised face.

“What happened?” she demanded.

“I had to fight my way to the hanger bay where my command shuttle was kept. The other guys look worse, believe me.” He said with a savage grin.

“But how did you get away?”

“I remote piloted my TIE fighter to catch their attention and throw off the lightspeed tracker, then jumped to lightspeed in my command shuttle from inside the hangar. I didn’t stick around to see what happened to the Star Destroyer.” Ben explained.

“After seeing the damage Holdo caused by jumping into the First Order’s fleet firsthand, I can only imagine.” Rey said, whistling softly. “But where have you been all this time? It’s been over twelve hours since we…since I saw you last.”

“Well, I didn’t want to lead the First Order to you. So, I drove through an asteroid field on the way in case anyone was following me, or my ploy with the TIE fighter didn’t work.” He told her.

“So, that’s why you wouldn’t answer me.” Rey shook her head. Ben was a risk-taker, just like his father.

“Hey, I was concentrating on not crashing into giant flying balls of rock. I figured you wanted me alive more than you wanted reassurance.” Ben replied.

“You’re no good to me dead, Ben Solo.” Rey agreed coyly, running her fingers through his wavy hair. “I need you.”

Ben groaned at her touch, crushing her body against his as he breathed in her scent.

“Ben!” she yelped in mock protest as his lips attacked her throat.

He titled her face up to his in answer, taking her mouth in a fierce, heated kiss. Rey sank into his embrace, loving the unadulterated passion he felt for her. They whispered their love for each other between kisses, thrilled to be together in person, and on the same page, at long last.

Just as Ben started pulling her toward the command shuttle, the telltale sound of the Millennium Falcon rang through the air.

“They aren’t supposed to come back until I use this.” She said, holding up the deactivated binary beacon around her wrist.

When Ben didn’t respond, Rey looked up into his face. He seemed frozen as the Falcon landed before them.

“It’s going to be okay.” Rey reassured him. “I’ve already spoken with your mother. She knows that you’re here. They all do.”

Ben gave her a stunned look. “I knew it was inevitable that I would see her again, but now that the moment is here, I—I don’t know what to say.”

Rey moved to his side, holding his hand tightly.

“It’s going to be okay.” She repeated. “You’re not alone.”

Suddenly the Falcon’s exterior door opened, followed by the piercing sound of metal grinding against metal as the ramp struggled to extend.

“Stupid, old piece of junk.” Leia muttered crossly as she walked out to meet them.

“General—I mean, Leia. What are you doing here? I haven’t called you back yet.” Rey asked curiously.

“I got tired of waiting. Poe of all people recommended patience, but I overrode him.” Leia replied serenely.

As Leia turned to look at Ben, his hand tightened around Rey’s.

“Mother, I—mother—” Ben tried to speak, but he couldn’t seem to find the words.

“Ben, it’s okay.” Rey whispered soothingly. “Take your time.”

“Mother, I’m sorry. For Father. For Luke. For everything.” Ben choked out.

Leia moved forward slowly, her face pained but open. “I know, my son, I know.”

Leia raised Rey and Ben’s connected hands, enveloping them with both of hers.

“Because of this—because of the two of you—we have a chance to put the past behind us and move toward a brighter future.” Leia told them solemnly. “This will not be an easy transition for any of us. Especially those who have lost friends and family due to your actions as Kylo Ren.”

Ben flinched, but nodded. Despite his change of heart, there was much he had to atone for.

“I won’t make excuses for my many misdeeds. I have done some truly evil things in the service of the dark side. But, I promise you that I will spend every day of the rest of my life protecting you and Rey, and helping to bring a permanent end to the First Order.” Ben vowed.

Leia touched Ben’s face, her eyes glistening. “I’ve missed you, Ben.”

“Mother!” Ben pulled Leia into his arms, hugging her close.

Rey smiled through her tears, thrilled to see Ben reconcile with his mother. She was secretly grateful to Hux for speeding along Ben’s exit from the First Order. Every day he spent away from the dark side was a step in the right direction. And, as Snoke’s influence dissipated, she hoped Ben would come to embrace his new life in the Resistance.

Ben threw an arm around Rey’s shoulders as Leia pulled back. He seemed to need constant contact with her, not that she minded.

Thudding footsteps suddenly echoed in the cool night as Poe Dameron stormed off the Falcon, glaring at Ben the whole way.

“Poe, I’ve decided to let Ben stay.” Leia calmly headed him off. “He is willing to join the Resistance, at Rey’s side, and provide us with tactical information about the First Order and its allies.”

“Is that so? Then as a sign of good faith, hand over your weapon.” Poe demanded hotly.

Ben smirked at the insolent command, his free hand moving to the hilt of his lightsaber. Rey elbowed him in warning from under the shelter of his other arm.

“Poe, do you really think that’s necessary?” Rey asked warily.

“How can you trust him after what he’s done?!” Poe challenged.

“Poe!” Leia reprimanded. “You accepted help from a Stormtrooper with relative ease. Please try to have the same courtesy towards my son.”

“Leia, don’t be blind! Finn was a slave to the First Order who refused to murder innocent people in cold blood. I hardly think that equates him to this monster.” Poe shot back.

Ben held up a hand as Rey started to protest.

“You’re right, I was a monster. I’ve done horrible things. Things I’ll never be able to make up for. And they haunt me.” Ben said, his voice thick with emotion. “Please, just give me a chance to do something right.”

Poe considered him thoughtfully for a few moments before breaking into a friendly smile. “Alright, you get one chance. But if you screw up, I’ll make it my mission in life to destroy you.”

And with that, Poe went back up the ramp, whistling to himself.

“Welcome to the Resistance.” Leia said wryly as Ben stared after Poe in confusion and Rey doubled over with laughter.

I’ll keep finding, finding, finding you Keep finding, finding you

Ben stared up at the ceiling, his muscles aching from the day’s activities. Ever since he’d shown up a week ago, Poe seemed to be trying to kill him with manual labor. Not that he minded, it gave him something to do when Rey was tied up with meetings.

When she wasn’t in strategic planning sessions with his mother, Rey and Ben trained day and night. There was so much that she needed to learn about the Force, and not a lot of time to do it in. But she was a natural, just like him. Her raw strength and talent allowed her to pick up advanced teachings rather easily.

Truth be told, Ben believed that he would learn more from her in the long run. He felt more comfortable in his own skin, gaining confidence and perspective with each day. The guilt was still there, for all the atrocities he had committed, but it was manageable now. The first few days on Ahch-To had been nearly unbearable. Everywhere he looked, he saw the faces of his victims.

Shockingly, the reactions from his mother’s small Resistance force ranged from ignoring his existence to tolerating him. But no one seemed to outright hate him. And that’s how he knew he was fighting on the right side once and for all. The fact that these people were giving him a second chance, the same ones he had tried to exterminate not too long ago, meant the galaxy to him.

And then there was Rey, his shining light. Without her, he knew where he’d be now: angry, alone, and still in Snoke’s service. Instead, he had hope for the first time in years. He had a life now, with Rey and his mother, and the promise of a future full of love and acceptance.

As if he had summoned her through their bond, Rey entered the hut, yawning.

“How was your day?” Ben asked as she flopped face down on their bed next to him.

“Supremely annoying.” Rey sighed.

“Yeah?” he said, shifting onto his side.

“But it’s getting better by the minute.” She murmured happily as Ben began massaging the back of her neck.

“What happened?”

“Our supposed allies have finally surfaced, and they’ve been tripping over themselves trying to get back into Leia’s good graces.” She said in disgust. “I guess now that they know Leia has two Jedi on her side, they’re eager to jump into the sack with us again.”

“Sounds like it could get crowded fast.” Ben chuckled, digging into a spot that made Rey’s toes curl.

“Ooh—what?” It was hard to concentrate when he had his hands on her.

“Try to keep up, love.” He said with a knowing smile. “Has Leia decided who we’ll go to first?”

“Very funny.” Rey turned over to face him, lacing her arms around his neck. “She said he was an old friend of your father’s. A smuggler in his own right, but apparently, he’s gone legit. Something about a city in the clouds.”

Ben leaned forward, nuzzling his nose against hers, kissing her sweetly on the lips. Rey hummed in appreciation at the gentle contact.

“That must mean Lando. He’s kept out of the fray over the last few years, so his resources should be intact.” Ben told her, swopping in for a more intense kiss.

But Rey pushed him onto his back before he knew what was happening, flattening her hands on his and trapping them above his head in excitement.

“Lando Calrissian?!” Rey gasped. “But he’s famous! He fought with your mother and father and Luke in the rebellion! I can’t believe it! Do you think I’ll be able to meet him?!”

Ben stared up at her bemusedly. “I’m sure you’ll get to meet him. As long as you do something for me first.”

“And what’s that?” Rey’s eyebrows lifted.

“Come down here and kiss me.” Ben said sensually, pushing up against her.

“Oh, is that all?” Rey giggled, wriggling her bottom.

Straddling his hips as she was, the movement sent shock waves straight to his groin.

“Please.” Ben whispered longingly. “I’ve missed you.”

“Like this?” Rey lowered her torso until her face was level with his, hovering over his lips teasingly.

“Rey!”

“Shh…here,” Rey whispered as she moved his hands to her backside. “There, now, isn’t that better?”

Their eyes met, both intense, hazel against deep brown. Rey framed his face, running her fingertips through his thick locks lovingly, before leaning down to kiss him properly. As the kiss grew in passion, Ben gripped her bottom, shaping it under his hands, grinding her center on his burgeoning erection. They moaned in unison as the world spun away and there was nothing but the hunger they shared for one another.

“Hey, Rey, I need to talk to—oh for the love of—don’t you two ever stop?!“ Finn yelled, holding a hand in front of his eyes in disgust.

“Finn!” Rey growled, sitting back on Ben’s hips. “What have I told you about knocking?!”

“I did knock!” he retorted defensively. “Look, I need to talk to you, but I can tell this is a bad time.”

“No, it’s okay,” Rey sighed. “Just give me a minute.”

“Is that all it takes with him?” Finn joked.

“Get. Out.” Rey ordered, pointing toward the exit.

As Finn shut the door behind him, Ben laughed under her.

“I take it you haven’t spoken to Finn today.” Ben said, rolling his eyes.

“What do you mean?” Rey questioned.

“He wants to discuss Rose with you.” Ben informed her.

“And how do you know that?”

“Because he was in here looking for you earlier and wouldn’t shut up about her.” Ben said in exasperation.

“Are you two…bonding?” Rey asked cheekily.

“I wouldn’t call it that, so much as he kept talking and I didn’t throw him bodily from the room.” Ben denied. He had an image to uphold, after all.

“Oh my, you are bonding!” Rey cried happily. “I love you!”

Ben smiled as she kissed him one more time before getting up. He caught her hand as she slid off the bed.

“You can play therapist to Finn now, but tonight you’re mine.” Ben teased.

“Forever.” Rey promised.

And she was.

~FIN~

A/N: And this is how I would start Episode IX!! Hope you enjoyed my wordy jaunt through Reylo fanfiction land! I’m not promising anything, but I may have a few ideas for more chapters, based on what I’ve set up here. I’m not sure yet if I’ll publish new chapters as a sequel fic, or just continue posting under ‘Finding You.’ Please send me reviews, and let me know what you think. You can follow me on FanFiction.net as sushigirlali. Thanks, friends! <3

A little something extra! Kylo: I can’t believe you sustained motivation long enough to finish this fic. Ali: Babe, you’re telling me! But Reylo is giving me so much inspiration right now, I just couldn’t stop. Kylo: It’s almost like you’ve stopped being a lazy asshole who starts things they can’t finish. Ali: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Kylo: You’ve been writing a seven chapter, umpteen thousand word Dramione fic for like two years. Ali: I can neither confirm nor deny this allegation. Kylo: You’re a crazy person. Ali: I can neither confirm nor deny this allegation. Kylo: *Throws up his hands and walks away* Ali: *Whispers after he’s gone* It’s gonna be TEN chapters!!

#reylo #reylo fanfiction #reylo fanfic #reylo fic #rey #kylo ren #ben solo #my fanfiction #finding you

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vulpes-canis · 7 years ago

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Artistically Speaking

So as this New Year approaches I find myself once again fighting off some internalized fears and doubts and shame once more. And, I realize that it is not my usual forte to talk about deeply personal subjects here on my blog. And I’m sure the majority of you who come here, do not come here to hear me talk I know you come here for the inconsistent stream of my plushies crafts and primarily Pokemon related artwork with the occasional OCs mixed in, But this is related to my artwork so I feel it belong here. Anyway, apologies in advance for this one folks, but I think that maybe just maybe there are others who go through some of the same struggles that I do and maybe my words are relatable?

So I have been an artist for as long as I can remember, literally as a child I would get reams of printer paper as Christmas presents and be positively thrilled to pieces to have them (lol). I was never a naturally talented child (Tbh I was the child who struggled with every subject and had appalling handwriting). My horses had ten legs and my people looked like potatoes. But all kids’ kind of suck at art ya know? So I never really thought much of it, because I liked what I did. I knew it was bad and that there were people out there much better than me at drawing and painting and sculpting, I mean I wasn’t a stupid kid I went to art museums I saw how lines and pigment could be used to express amazing and fantastical things, and I wanted to someday be able to do that to. I’m a child of the 90’s and growing up people constantly told me if you work hard enough if you try hard enough you can be whatever you want to be. And I wanted to be an artist I still want to be an artist even now, and I did everything in my power to learn the skills to become one. When middle school came around and I was finally able to choose my own electives, I took every single art class that was offered. I learned the basics of ceramics, sculpture, and drawing, and painting. I listened to my art teachers critique and advice and tried everything they told me because I was desperate for more knowledge and skill. And finally, finally, my dedication began to show. Especially by the time, high school came around, but by then I came upon a new obstacle in my artistic journey…

The brutality of comparing myself to others. I had dealt with this a bit in middle school, but it was extremely apparent the difference in skill level between myself and other students or even worse online artists. I found myself becoming very jealous of people and there inherit talents or skill. And I began to hate almost everything I produced. Sure sometimes I would like a drawing or a painting for a week or so… But inevitably I would begin to pick it apart bit by bit and start to hate it. I still drew daily and tried to improve. I still listened to my teachers and gave every mundane assignment my full effort, but I felt like I had stagnated. Like I was just untalented and that all of my hard work and extra effort could only take me so far. Even so, I pressed on and in college, I found a lot more freedom in my assignments, I still had some pretty dull ones but I pressed on and always took critique as best I could, and used what was said to channel it back into my artwork. But the whole comparing myself to others got even worse. Suddenly I was surrounded by people who were my peers that were simply vastly more skilled then I was. I really began to doubt myself and hate my decisions, I was suddenly beginning to really talk down to myself. I was constantly telling myself “you’re lazy” “You cut corners” “You still haven’t finished?” “You don’t take this seriously enough” “You will never be at that level” “You could never do that” “You’re not good enough” “Why are you even here?” But I am nothing if not stubborn and I would swallow down those feelings as best as I could and press on anyway. I think that my worst day came at the end of my ART3 class (Figure Drawing for those who don’t know). A little-known fact about me is that for the longest time I absolutely despised figure drawing. I have always preferred drawing animals and honestly never would have even considered taking figure drawing, except it was a prerequisite for an Illustration class that I was absolutely dying to take. Now the thing about this figure drawing class is that many of the students in it had taken it multiple times and were clearly on an entirely different plane than me. Long story short final critique rolls around and the class’s professor who has said maybe 2 words to me all semester asks me “Why are you even in this class?” That same doubting question that had been plaguing my heart since I started. It took a lot out of me to not break down and cry in front of him and the entire class. Tbh I think he forgot that it was my first time in the class as he was a whole lot easier on the other kid who was a first-time figure drawer.

That was a really dark time for me and honestly I still really struggle a lot with the doubt and anger and feelings of being a failure. I did have happier times in college and despite how awful that figure drawing class made me feel I did learn a lot from it. And even the professor (who turns out was teaching the illustration class I wanted to be in) got back into my good graces, and I forgave him though honestly, I doubt he ever even realized how much his question and critique hurt me. I ended up loving the hell out of that illustration class and created some of my favorite art pieces in my college career, through that class I even managed to snag an internship (via my children’s book illustration project of all things).

I’m not really sure what the point of all this personal rambling is, to be honest. I mean I still fight self-doubt and feelings of inferiority from time to time. Of recent, it’s more frustration at my own lack of drive and enthusiasm/inability to consistently create content and new artwork. Hell, even the plushies I make end up taking me 1 to 2 weeks or more to finish sometimes simply because I cannot make myself work on them. I still get frustrated when I see people who are simply more naturally talented than me, or perhaps who have devoted more of their time to their artwork than I have. It’s especially rough seeing all of these amazingly talented 15-16-year-olds that pop up with skills that have taken me 24 years to get somewhat okay at. But more and more I have been trying to tell myself that it’s okay. That everyone feels this way. And you know honestly, it’s true, especially for artists! We are constantly dragging our own work through the mud and comparing ourselves to others, wishing we had a style like that or a talent like that or whatever. Of recent, I have made it my mission to love my own style and to be forgiving toward myself. Yes there are those who spend more time on their artwork than me, yes there are those who are faster at producing artwork than me, yes there are those who have a style I like more than my own. But that’s okay. It’s okay that I’m slow, It’s okay that I can’t make highly realistic drawings, it’s okay that I struggle with backgrounds and am still learning, it’s okay that there are artists that are more popular than I am. It’s okay as long as I keep trying and keep making things that have meaning to me.

Earlier this year I self-published a children’s book. A simple ABC book of animals. It took me a little over 2 months to complete start to finish and has only sold maybe 20 copies? (Primarily to family and friends). But each time I look at it I am filled with pride and accomplishment. Because that book is wholly mine and I’m proud of it…

So I guess what the TLDR of all this is to any beginning artists who might be reading this or even veteran artists who have been at this for years, it’s okay, your art is okay and you are okay. And you deserve to feel pride in yourself for what you’ve accomplished. Your artistic journey is your own, and even if you hate everything you are producing, keep producing, and keep trying. However you make your art and however long it takes you, you are okay. And I wish you all the best in this coming year.

-Vulpes

#foxtalks #art #long post

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megancrisp24 · 7 years ago

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Why It’s Sometimes Difficult On Artists

This might come off as a bit of venting on my part (and may lose me some followers) ,so if people don’t care to hear my point of view then please just skip this post.

Like all artists I put a lot of time and dedication into each piece I do. No matter how easy it seems, doing any type of art (drawing, writing, singing, acting,etc) it’s a lot of damn work no matter how many people claim that we just “draw all day for fun”. I’ve worked years and spent countless hours thinking, constructing, and stressing over my craft and I’m still not where I want to be- it’s a constant battle. It’s one I rarely feel I’m winning because I always think everything I do could be better. It’s also been a struggle for me to put myself out there on the internet because I (and many artist) wonder if our art will be accepted or good enough for anyone to care. All of this is to say it’s not easy what we do and creative people do struggle every day despite saying “ Oh, I just did this sketch today.”

You’re probably wondering why I’m telling you this, right? I want to stress that I enjoy doing fan art and I appreciate all the excitement many get from it but there have been a few downfalls to it that have been a little frustrating. For one, I’ll have people randomly post my art without my name anywhere attached to it pretty much saying in that action, “this is mine and I don’t care who actually did the work. “ This has been more of a problem on instagram than anywhere else and onceuponafanart has been really awesome at tracking these people down and giving me credit. On twitter people (some of you guys) have been pretty great that when they see it they give me credit as well. I just ask that people take into consideration that artists do care when their art is taken and claimed by someone else.

Another issue,( and this is a pretty recent one and it’s only been a few people ) , is that I do fan art for my expression on how I feel or when I get excited about something. It’s not to please anyone, really. I do love that you guys compliment and I get a kick out of how you react to it.You all have been so supportive and lovely to me. The really hard thing is when I look at comments that say “I love this but why isn’t this character in it. It would have been better.” or “ why don’t you do this character because they are my favorite”or )like today) “can you do this picture as a cartoon”. Fan art is purely a thing I have spare time for, it’s not something I’m getting paid for. If anyone wants a commission I always accept commission work but I don’t take requests because what others like may not inspire me and I don’t want to spend my spare time doing things that don’t interest me.

I say all this but please know I appreciate you guys and I enjoy your enthusiasm for my work-you’ve all been lovely to me and these are just a few things I wanted to address to the very few that are doing this. I also kind of wanted to give you guys insight on how I think about these topics so you understand what many artists feel. It’s okay for you not to like what I do and it’s okay for you to even hate it but please try to understand it from my point of view.

Thank you guys for all the wonderful support because the great majority of you guys have been so amazing and I feel very grateful for you. :)

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crimsonrevolt · 7 years ago

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Congratulations Lana you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Walburga Black!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

I can’t even begin to list a favorite part of this beautiful application since there were countless ones, but I think that what truly impressed me was how much empathy and love you gave a character who is so complex and terrible in her beliefs and made me truly appreciate her for how many intriguing dimensions she has! Your para sample made me feel for her and the loss she still is trying to suppress at losing members of her family, and I’m so excited to see how you make her fit into the rp and the characters and plots already going on! She’ll add a truly interesting perspective and I’m looking forward to seeing her on the dash!

application beneath the cut

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Hello, I’m Lana, twenty-three, EST. I prefer she/her pronouns.

ACTIVITY

Other than full-time work, I am free most of the time. I imagine that I’ll be active almost every day and the times I’m not I’ll have a queue to keep up on replies, etc.

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

I originally found this group through the tags but I’ve been lurking for a while. It was hard to wait but I’m glad I did because now I have a lot of time to dedicate to this.

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

Remus Lupin. I’m not a hundred percent sure why I identify with him but I do. He has always been my favorite character in the books and being around a lot of roleplays has just given me a deeper love for him and the multiple characterizations I’ve seen. He is such a quiet, low-key person with this hidden strength and intelligence that I feel he barely trusts. Then there’s the werewolf piece of his identity that he tries to hide and overcome - I just adore him. That’s not much about me so I’m sorry, but I do identify most with Remus!

ANYTHING ELSE?

Nope!

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Walburga Black

FACE CLAIM

Charlize Theron

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

I could speak a thousand words about Walburga Black and it still would not be enough. The entirety of the Black family, in my opinion, are highly underrated (I could write a novel just on why they deserve more attention for the sake of background on their children). So let me talk about mother ice queen for a moment and hope that my wording conveys just how much I love this horrifying character without making anyone reading this believe that I myself am also an extremist with terrible beliefs.

Walburga Black is a character with very little redeeming quality, I will start off by admitting that. Her ideals closely resemble those of a true psychopath yet she does a better job of keeping them hidden than her younger brother, Cygnus. In fact, she believes that her caution is to be admired and chides her husband often and extensively for his lack of it. It is no secret that the Black family name is spoken as an insult and the knowledge crawls under her skin and leeches at her blood. For decades her family had been noble and pure, but the sight of it now draws her to her wits end. It is her largest desire to rid of the rumors of incest and insanity that have filtered through the country, making her a laughing stock.

She despises the men of her family who have loomed above her to pluck the crown from her golden hair. It has been a relentless fight to gain power and composure against her brothers, but she believes she is the strongest of them all. Intelligence that knows no bounds, beauty above all, and a cold facade that could have grown men slinking away - those are the traits of an heir and a queen. But instead of holding a bounty of wealth and inheriting her family home, she was married off to complete her only goal as a woman, child birth. It was against everything she believed, but she did her duty while whispering in the ears of the pureblooded men and women who would listen. Fear her, love her, hate her, it never mattered to Walburga.

There is still humanity underneath the perfectly crafted creature she has spun to walk the Earth, and she showed it only when her first born son abandoned them. She had always known he would leave so that came as no surprise, but the ache in her heart did. There was a hole ripped out of soft flesh that never seemed to heal, no matter how many years had passed. It had taken days of screaming agony and threatening curses before Walburga had allowed herself to put her mask on again. The memory felt weak, like cowardice. She never wanted to feel like a woman or a mother because that wasn’t how you gained respect in a world of sexism.

I could go on for days about her past and what led her to the moments that created such a silently heartbroken creature. It’s mostly speculation on my end but I love to talk about it and I hope I get the chance to portray her for the first time!

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

Walburga identifies as female with she/her pronouns.

Orion/Walburga.

I don’t want to write much on my opinion of their relationship because I know that there is an active Orion player in this group, but I have a lot of feelings on the matter. In a weird way I do ship them because I feel that their marriage has gone beyond duty and has touched on something close to love, or solace and comfort, whichever is the easiest for them to admit. I believe that Walburga would do anything to protect her husband and expects the same from him. There’s much more I’d love to explore, too!

Her sexuality is closest to straight, I suppose, yet I do feel that she would fall into bed with many after a particularly gruesome fight (Chemistry/Walburga). She loves the adrenaline and the fear, it makes her feel alive when she has been surrounded by dull affairs and parties while acting as a socialite. Still, she would never label herself as anything but straight and would keep her sexual intentions behind closed doors for fear that it would make her family name any less noble.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

Here is the mock blog. xxxxx

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

“And why would I waste my time on tinkering with ingredients or waving my wand uselessly when I could press a galleon into the hand of a poorer man to do it for me?” Walburga remains still as ice save for the twitch of her index finger against the silk of her dress. “Still, the question isn’t utterly foolish.” She weighs the answer and the consequences before deciding that this conversation will lead to little other than conversation. Boring, really. “They could make me the true heir of father’s inheritance, or they could kill the men who doubt me. The women, too. I can’t decide. Perhaps I’d do both.”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“The Forbidden Forest is filled to the brim with filth, I’ve found. It should be burned to the ground along with the creatures inside. Alas, if I must go, I would bring my dear husband. He can get eaten while I walk away unharmed.” The thought seems to amuse her but the words are false and she lets the corners of her lips fall in an instant. “An object other than my wand? I suppose the necklace mother left me before she died. It has always brought me strength.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

Walburga laughs and the sound is almost as cruel as the coldness in her eyes. “I have no difficulty making decisions. Everything comes easily to me. How could it not? I’m a Black by blood and by birth. The women are queens and the men are pretenders, so we of the ‘gentler sex’ are left to make the real decisions. I whisper in my husbands ear just as I did father’s, and I’ll continue until I have what I want. Does it sound like I’m having difficulty?” But even though her words ring true, she cannot help but think that her weakness is hard to overcome.

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

“People speak of me every day and their words are envious. I don’t care to listen to what those peasants choose to utter nor would I do a thing to stop them. I care only for my family name and what they choose to say of me is nothing in comparison to the filthy way they speak of my brother.” She shudders at the thought of him. “I am a queen and I deserve just what respect my father had. The thing I would not stand for is those filthy demons calling me weak. I could kill them in an instant yet they think we, as the noble house of Black, are jokes. Every day I will prove that that is not true.”

WRITING SAMPLE

It felt like ice slithering up her larynx with the threat of suffocation. Pale and gaunt she stood and stared at the emerald green tapestry that hung across the walls of a room she had not thought to enter in some time. They sat like ghosts stitched in time, woven in silk, and colored with fading dye. But she held their fate in the palm of her hand with the magic that stretched and flexed between the core of her wand. It had become a simple pleasure to view those faces and read the cursive letters she had memorized as just a little girl. There was Pollux Black, her father, and Irma Crabbe, her mother. They sat under the elder Cygnus II with an air of nobility, and further below were Alphard, Cygnus, and herself.

Her fingers were light as they traced the tiny lines of her own face and read the words that followed. Walburga Black. The name meant little beside the brothers who held their fortune and inheritance close to their chests. As a woman she would never be allowed the luxury of claiming her proper title, nor would she be absolved of her duty to a husband who often cast a shadow, but this day was a step forward. After years of waiting for her brothers to fall from high grace, she had finally gotten her wish. And how joyous the occasion was.

Alphard Black would be removed.

The image of his face stitched into a tapestry so regal had her stomach boiling with internal rage yet her composure remained frozen in disinterest. A long, curved nail came up to tear at the thin fabric with intentionally slow movements. Soon half of his white, left cheek was swallowed up into a mess of string and material. Still, it did little to quell the disgust. She took a step away and pointed her wand though the spell didn’t form immediately. How could he have done that to them when he knew how much Sirius had hurt her?

The parchment conjured in her memory and she sucked a breath inward. Her eldest brother had left his entire fortune to a traitor despite her clear warnings. Sirius was to be left in the dark with the scum he called friends, yet Alphard had not heeded her threats. As she hadn’t expected him to. While it came as a relief to find her smarter brother fail so quickly, it also hurt. She had cared deeply for him whereas her younger brother she had come close to despising.

Finally the flames came, flickering and alive as they ate away at the lasting image of his face. Two times in the past few months that she had come to view the tapestry and remove another traitor and both had hurt just as much. A dull ache began in her chest and pounded upwards until there was a lump in her throat too big to swallow. She wouldn’t let the sob rise, however, no matter how much it tried. “Not this time.” She whispered, and her eyes moved to stare at the black hole that had once been her son. “I’ll never let you filthy traitors make me show weakness again.“

#accepted app

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