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mrsbarnesblog · 2 months ago

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when the time is right

masterlist

summary: Rafe found out that you were secretly from him taking tests, not even realizing how much you struggled in silence about not being able to get pregnant

word count: 3.7k

warnings: struggles with getting pregnant, insecurities, smut, oral sex, unprotected p in v, Rafe is literally the BEST

Your vision got blurry when you looked at another negative pregnancy test, feeling nauseous and extremely tired from all of it.

You and Rafe, after getting married almost a year ago, both decided that you wanted to have children, and you tried to do everything to make it happen. You consulted the doctor, you both stayed healthy, and your sex life was so good, but no matter how hard you tried, it was all for nothing.

It became an unhealthy obsession of yours to buy these damn tests secretly from Rafe, hoping that one time you’ll see two lines, but always ending up throwing it in the trash can or hiding it in your drawer. You felt so bad, guilty, knowing that your husband did everything for you to give you the best life you could’ve ever asked for, yet you were unable to give him one thing that he wished for so badly.

Rafe was perfect in every aspect of your relationships, even better than when you two were just dating. He was so loving, so caring, so protective of you, not missing a single day without saying how much he loved you. Family and love were the only things that he ever wished for, wanting to have someone always by his side and someone who he could’ve shower with all of the love and affection that he desperately needed to give away, as it was not the option during his childhood.

He told you how much he wanted to have a baby, to raise him or her with you and be the best dad ever—the one that he had never had. And you wanted to give it to him, wanted to be happy with the love of your life. But the more you tried, the more frustrated you got, constantly seeing negative results, and hating yourself and your body for not being able to do it.

Of course Rafe didn’t know any of it—you simply hid all of the possible evidence of your doings, thinking that he might change his mind and that he’ll get colder to you once he realizes that there’s something wrong.

When you heard the front door getting closed and Rafe’s voice calling your name, you mindlessly shoved the test into the less-used drawer under some kind of napkin that was stored there. You looked in the mirror, wiping away a few stray tears and making yourself smile, even if it felt like you were empty inside.

Rafe embraced you in his arms before you were even able to step into the living room, pulling you flush against his chest and burying his face into your neck.

“Hey, sweetheart.” You felt the rumble of his voice on your skin, closing your eyes to relish the moment and throwing your hands around his neck. Rafe held you in his arms for a few long moments, running his hands up and down your back and mumbling some sweet things about missing you and the way he couldn’t wait to get home, but you couldn’t seem to focus, just distantly nodding your head.

“What’s wrong?” He pulled away, instantly seeing your sad, empty eyes. He had always been so good at reading you, so you couldn’t help but laugh at the way he got concerned, placing a hand on your cheek and studying your face with a worried look.

“Nothing. It’s nothing, Ray. I’m okay.” You leaned into his touch, giving him your best smile.

He looked at you for a few moments without saying anything, and it was all you needed to know that he did not believe you even for a second. He took a deep breath, then took a hold of your face with both hands before capturing your lips in a slow, gentle kiss.

“I know that you’re not, but I won’t push you. Take your time, you know I'm here for you, baby, yeah?" He pecked your lips once again, and you nodded your head, feeling a sudden lump in your throat. “Now… I’m starving and I can smell something from the kitchen.”

“I made your favorite pasta.” You smiled softly, twirling his slightly grown-out hair around your finger.

“I fucking love you, you know that, baby?” You could barely register what was happening when Rafe’s hands manhandled you and threw you over his shoulder. With a possessive hand on your ass, he went towards the kitchen, finally making you forget about your worries even for some time. “The best wife in the world.”

Freshly showered and sitting in your bed, you were mindlessly scrolling through your phone, while Rafe was doing whatever in your shared bathroom. There were some noises of him rummaging through the cabinets, cussing and mumbling something about the new razor that he had bought recently and now couldn’t find.

It all continued for a few minutes until he suddenly went silent, and it was the moment when your stomach dropped.

He found the tests. You knew that he did.

He stood in the bathroom, eyes wide from shock, as he held in the palm of his hand a bunch of white and blue sticks, which surely were yours. He felt uneasy either from every single one of them being negative or from the fact that you did it secretly from him and so regularly.

With your phone long forgotten on the bedside table, you jumped out of bed, only to bump into Rafe’s chest at the bathroom’s entrance. Your eyes instantly fell to his hand, seeing a handful of pregnancy tests, then looking up at his frowning face. The look in his eyes made you want to vanish away, just simply disappear from the face of earth, as your own eyes suddenly filled with tears.

“How long have you been doing this, Y/N?” Your lower lip wobbled as you tried to not break down, hands shaking with tension, while you fidgeted with your wedding ring. “I asked you a question.” There was no anger or treat in Rafe’s voice, but it still sent shivers down your spine—you knew that he was disappointed or upset, and you hated that you went behind his back to do that. Not that you worried about him being actually mad, but the feeling of guilt and shame was eating you alive.

“I-I don’t know.” You whispered.

“You don’t know?” He raised his brows, still holding all of the tests in between you two. “There’s like twenty of them. All negative, yeah? Why are you taking it so often, and why didn’t you tell me?” The frustration in his voice was like a knife to your heart, and with a sob of his name, you completely broke down.

You cried the way Rafe had never seen before, taking him aback for a moment. You hid your face behind your hands, sobbing loudly and trembling from head to toe. He made a quick move to lay all the rest on the nearby table before protectively wrapping his hands around your form and holding you as close as possible.

With one hand on your lower back while another stroked your hair, Rafe rocked your body from side to side. You couldn’t seem to stop crying, soaking his shirt with your tears and gripping it with your hands for dear life. All the frustration and tears you weren’t able to fully let out were now just spilling non-stop, and Rafe tried to control himself even if your full of pain cries were quite literally killing him.

“I—I want to have a baby. I want to give it to you. I r-really do!” You almost whimpered in desperation, cutting Rafe’s heart open with the amount of pain in your voice. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, with my body. I’m sorry, Rafe. I want it so bad.” You tugged at the back of his shirt, burying your face deeper in his neck and seemingly struggling to even breathe normally.

“Sh-h, calm down. Listen to my voice.” Holding you steady against his body, Rafe lowered his head to your ear to make sure that you would be able to focus on him. “Just breathe, it’s okay. You’re okay. C’mon just in and out.” He inhaled and exhaled, making sure that you followed his command before repeating it a few more times. “Yeah, just like that, sweetheart. Now sit down for me.” He pushed you back towards the bed, and you obediently followed him.

You sat at the edge of the bed, with Rafe kneeling in between your legs. He caressed your face, planting a loving kiss on your forehead, before sliding his hands down and capturing your own in his hold. You looked down at your interlaced fingers, unable to look up at your husband, ashamed and embarrassed, but still feeling his burning gaze on you. Some tears still slid down your cheeks, as you were seemingly unable to fully calm down.

“How long?” He asked in a steady, calm voice.

“Since we decided that we want to have a child? I’ve been doing them from time to time, but… recently it kinda got worse.” You shrugged, still looking down. Rafe took a deep breath, shaking his head in disbelief, and you felt your heart sinking.

“It messes with your head, Y/N. Do you understand that?” He squeezed your hand, rubbing circles against your knuckles. “I thought that we decided that it’s going to happen when the time is right, huh? Show me your pretty eyes, sweetheart.”

“That’s the problem—it’s never the right time!” You finally looked up at Rafe, locking your eyes with his blue ones. There was no judgement or anger whatsoever, making you feel slightly weird about the whole situation, as you were constantly convincing yourself that Rafe would be mad when he found out. “It’s been like five months since I got off the pills, since we decided that we both want it, and nothing, Ray! Nothing! My stupid body just doesn’t work the way it should.” You sobbed again.

Rafe cupped your face, wiping away the remains of your tears. His eyes softened while looking at you. “Stop saying it. Stop worrying yourself out and stop blaming your body, Y/N. You cannot control things like this, and if it didn't happen, then it’s not the right time yet, okay? It doesn’t mean that something’s wrong with you or your body.” His voice was surprisingly steady and firm, and you looked at him almost in awe, drinking in every word coming from your husband’s mouth. Rafe’s support meant everything to you, and even if you were worried before that, now he finally managed to calm a little part of you. “You’re perfect. You’re the way you should be. You’re mine, and I don’t want you to even doubt how much you mean to me.”

Rafe didn’t look away from you for a second, making sure that you understood everything that he was saying. “I was afraid to disappoint you. That you’ll be mad, because I know how much you want it too.”

“What I want the most is for you to be healthy, happy, and safe, sweetheart. Seeing you like this breaks my heart.” He dryly chuckled. “And what I need is for you to not be so hard on yourself.”

“I’ll try.”

A soft smile finally touched your lips when he slightly moved up to give your forehead another lingering kiss before moving down to your temple, then cheek, and then lips. “That’s my girl.” Rafe mumbled against your mouth and slowly deepened the kiss, making your worries fade away. Feeling his hands moving down to your waist and bringing you closer to the edge of the bed while you steadied yourself by laying your hands on his shoulders.

“Ray…”

“Let me show you how much you mean to me. How much I love you.” He murmured against your lips, hands sliding under your nightgown and knuckles brushing against your tender skin. You shivered under his touch, eyes fluttering and brain barely able to form a response. It was always like that with Rafe—it was as if his presence and touch alone could make all of your worries and insecurities go away. He had a way of making you feel on cloud nine, both physically and emotionally, and at moments like this, when he quite literally praised and worshiped you, you wondered how you could ever think any less of him.

He tilted his head slightly, peppering the side of your neck and your clevage with open-mouthed kisses, inhaling your sweet scent, while his hands were wandering down your body and pushing your legs further from each other. Rate leaned back for a moment, his eyes drinking your blissful face expression in as if you were the most breathtaking sight he'd ever seen. "You're everything to me." He said, his voice thick with emotion. "Do you know that?"

You nodded, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, overwhelmed by the intensity of his love. "I do." You whispered. "I feel it, Rafe. Always."

He softly pushed your body back until you were enveloped in a bunch of blankets and pillows scattered around. He looked you up and down, feeling his heart racing at the thought of making you feel good, reminding you how much you meant to him because you were quite literally the most important thing in his life. Rafe for a second thought that, maybe, it was his fault that you started to spiral into that darkness of stress and worries of not being enough or broken. With constantly being busy at work, he couldn’t pick up the cues earlier and notice your struggles.

Kissing down your body, dragging your nightgown up, and exposing your naked body to his hungry gaze, Rafe made sure to give you everything that he had and make you feel the way he felt about you. Rafe’s lips hovered over your stomach, brushing feather-light kisses against your soft skin as his hands caressed your sides. His touch was tender as his lips paused against your stomach, and he closed his eyes, his breath warm against you.

“We’re going to have a baby, sweetheart.” He murmured, his voice filled with quiet determination and love. “When the time is right, I know it. And you’re going to be the most amazing mother.” He pressed another kiss to your stomach, lingering there for a moment and making sure that the words sank in for you. “I’ll do everything in my power to give you the best and help you out, yeah? You’re not alone in this.”

Tears streamed silently down your cheeks as you reached out to run your fingers through his hair, your chest swelling with emotion at the raw devotion in his words and actions as you nodded to him. “Rafe…” You whispered, your voice trembling. “I love you so much.”

He looked up at you, his blue eyes glistening with emotion. “I love you more.” He said simply, his lips curling into a small, reassuring smile. He kissed your stomach one last time before his gaze darkened with desire, his hands sliding further down your thighs as he lowered himself between your legs.

You gasped when he suddenly just pulled your underwear down your legs and, not letting you process his further actions, placed your thighs on his shoulders before connecting his mouth with your dripping core.

Rafe ate you like a man starved, alternating soft licks with sucking on your clit and almost bringing you to the edge. In a few minutes, you were a trembling mess, squeezing your legs around his head and mumbling something incoherent.

“R-Rafe.” You whimpered, your voice breaking as you felt the tension in your core building rapidly. “I’m—oh my God—I’m so close.”

He smirked against you, sucking your swollen clit harder and pushing the tips of his fingers against your entrance just to tease you. His lips curling into a grin that you could feel even through the haze of your pleasure. “I know, sweetheart.” He said, his voice low and gravelly. “Let go for me. I’ve got you.”

His words tipped you over the edge, and you cried out, reaching for his hair, tugging, as your body trembled while waves of ecstasy crashed over you. Rafe didn’t let up, his mouth continuing to work you through your orgasm, drawing out every last bit of pleasure until you were left breathless and boneless beneath him.

Finally, he pulled back, his lips and chin glistening with your release, and his eyes locked onto yours with a mix of satisfaction and adoration.

His body was on top of yours in an instant, pushing you down into the mattress with his comforting weight. Placing a hand on the side of your neck, gently tracing your jawline with his thumb, and then pulling you closer for a kiss.

You didn’t even notice the moment when he slipped inside of you, too lost in the aftershocks of your previous orgasm. He hissed at the way you clenched around him, instinctively wrapping your legs and arms around him and pushing his cock deeper into you.

It was not the type of sex that you two usually had. Rafe was mumbling praises next to your ear with each thrust of his hips into you, and you were simply drowning in him, his love, and the ecstasy that it had all brought you. It was slower, deeper, and more intimate on every level.

Rafe made sure to hit that sweet spot inside of you with every move, seeing your teary eyes rolling back in your head and your mouth slightly opening from pleasure. He never stopped, exploring your body with his hands, pinching your nipples, sliding down your stomach and causing goosebumps to raise all over your skin, and then ever-so-slightly brushing your puffy clit, until you desperately cried out his name.

By the time Rafe was done with you, when your body was all tingly and exhausted from that sweet torture, you were laying face to face on your sides, with him still buried deep inside of you. Your leg was thrown over his hip, your shared release slowly dripping down and probably ruining the sheets, but neither of you seemed to care.

Your eyes were barely focused, but your heart was full, and a soft smile was placed on your face. Rafe, slightly flushed and sheepish, was slowly caressing your cheek, looking at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

You smiled softly, your eyelids fluttering closed for a moment, letting the peaceful silence settle around you. The warmth of his body against yours felt like home, grounding you like nothing else ever could. There was no need to say anything else, because it felt like your bodies, your eyes, and your souls had already said everything that was needed.

A few weeks later, as you sat in your bathroom with trembling hands, you stared at the pregnancy test on the counter. You'd been late, but you had tried to push it out of your mind, remembering your promise to Rafe to stop stressing out and overthinking.

Though this time, it felt different. Something inside of you was telling you that you were right.

And now, as the two lines were staring back at you, you were filled with a mix of shock, disbelief, and overwhelming joy.

Your heart raced in your chest as tears welled up in your eyes. Slowly, you walked out of the bathroom, holding a test in your shaking hands, finding Rafe sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to you as he scrolled through his phone.

"Rafe." You whispered, your voice shaky, and he turned to face you instantly, sensing something was different.

“What’s going on?” Instantly he was beside you, hands on your upper arms, as his eyes were searching yours for an answer.

Silently, you held out the pregnancy test to him, your hand trembling as you did. His gaze dropped to the test, and for a moment, everything stood still, heavy silence filling your bedroom.

Rafe’s eyes widened, and his breath caught in his throat. "Is this...?" He whispered, his voice barely audible.

You nodded, tears spilling down your cheeks now, as you stared up at him. "We're going to have a baby, Rafe."

He stood frozen for a beat, his hands tightening on your forearms as he let the moment sink in, watching tears running down your cheeks. Then, without a word, he pulled you into him, his arms enveloping you tightly as if he never wanted to let go. You melted into his embrace, feeling his heart racing against yours.

You both erupted into laughter, the sound of pure joy filling the room, echoing off the walls as Rafe pulled back slightly to look at you, his face lit with disbelief and happiness. He wiped away the tears from your cheeks, laughing through his own, his voice thick with emotion.

“I can’t believe it.” He said, his words trembling slightly. “We’re going to be parents. Told you that it's gonna happen when the time is right, didn’t I?”

You nodded with a smile, still holding the test between your fingers as the reality of it all settled in. “You did. Now it’s really happening.”

He kissed you, slow and deep, as if he were trying to savor every second of this moment, making you throw your hands around his neck and give in to the moment. When he pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, both of you breathing heavily as you shared the same smile filled with love and excitement.

“I love you so much.” He murmured, his hands resting on your waist as he held you close.

You brushed the tip of your nose against his, looking up at your husband through your wet eyelashes. The look of pure adoration in his eyes made you want to giggle like a damn teenager, so instead you tightened your hands around his neck to be even closer. “I love you more.”

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justmeinadaze · 3 months ago

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November Rain (Boxer!Eddie X Plus Size Y/N)

A/N: I dreamed about this idea and my time of the month fueled it.

Please Enjoy <3

Warnings: Older (Early to Mid 30s) Dominate Boxer Eddie X Plus Size Fem younger (early to mid 20s) sub Y/N, SMUT, Daddy kink (because Im me), light spanking, big dick Eddie Munson :P, etc.

ANGST, reader meets the boxer while on a date with someone else, mentions of pain from the ring but nothing too dramatic, reader and Eddie mentions just getting out of relationships, nothing negative is mentioned about Y/N size <3. All positive and Eddie thinks she's perfect :). CLIFFHANGER ENDING 😈

Word Count: 4753

Other Eddie Stories here/ Donate to Me

"When I look into your eyes

I can see a love restrained

But darlin' when I hold you

Don't you know I feel the same?"

“Paige, I hate you. This guy is the worst.”

“Oh, he’s not that bad! Lol. Where did he take you?”

“A boxing match.”

“NO! Lol. Oh my god. I hate boxing and how the fuck are you supposed to talk there?”

“He’s taking me to a bar after.”

“Text me when you get home so I know you’re not dead :P.”

“Love you to, dork.”

“Who are you talking to?”, your blind date asks as he lightly nudges you with his shoulder.

“Paige. I’m just telling her how nice you are and that you haven’t murdered me yet.”

“Ha! Well, the night’s still young.”, he laughed causing your eyebrows to furrow in confusion, not out of fear but annoyance that he thought that was the appropriate thing to say to someone he only met an hour ago.

When your friend and roommate suggested you go on this blind date you originally declined. You had just gotten out of a 2-year relationship and wasn’t in the mood to dive back in. After a couple of lonely (and needy) nights, you changed your tune.

She insisted he was a nice guy she knew from work and he absolutely was but it didn’t overshadow his awkward personality. When he suggested coming to a boxing match, you were actually intrigued thinking it was an out of the box idea instead of going to the movies or dinner. As the small arena began to fill, you found yourself more fascinated by the people around you casually talking about one of the fighters.

Eddie Munson was a “veteran” in the field, being a bit older than most boxers in the ring. He had won multiple matches but for whatever reason managers and venues didn’t take him seriously. The kid he was fighting had many accolades and higher stats but his wins matched his opponents from the pamphlet you skimmed through while you two waited.

As the lights lowered and both men were introduced into the ring, you couldn’t help but focus on the older boxer. He was extremely handsome with his sharp jaw and intense, piercing eyes that commanded attention. His chest and muscular arms were littered with tattoos that accented his physique perfectly.

With all the cheering and commotion around the ring, you were surprised when his eyes landed on you. He tried to look away but you noticed his gaze kept lingering back to where you were sitting. Trying not to appear intimidated, you smirked his way and leaned back in your seat where your date’s arm was strewn along the back. The boxer slowly took you in, scanning along the short sleeve black dress that clung tightly to your busty chest and large curves. Your high heeled shoe absently tapped the air as he glanced down your legs and back up to your face.

Someone you assumed was his coach, tapped his shoulder and forced him to focus as he screamed instruction into his ear. Rising to his feet, the person took his robe before he headed for the middle of the ring. On his short stride, his gaze shifted towards you again making your smile grow as you silently mouth the words “Good Luck.”

Eddie jumps slightly as the announcer’s voice flows loudly near him startling him as you giggle and he shakes his head.

***

“Yeah so I do contracting at this firm and it’s so stupid but…”

You don’t know if your date notices but your eyes had begun to glaze over as he spoke. Your date seemed like a nice enough guy but was definitely not your cup of tea. The one thing you feared about dating again was mundane shit that came with casual conversation. You always wished you could skip over this part and get to the moment where you were comfortable again.

“I feel like I’m droning on and on. Tell me about you.”

“Oh…um…there’s not much to tell really.”

“Of course there is. Tell me about your job, your family, everything!”, he chuckles a bit too enthusiastically as you try to hide your cringe behind your smile.

“Excuse me, miss. Telephone for you.”, the bartender interrupts as he points at his phone near the end of the counter.

“Oh, thank you. Excuse me.”

After hopping down from your stool, you make your way to the telephone and put it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“I thought maybe I’d give you a minute of peace from chatty Cathy.”, the smooth voice on the other end laughs.

“Hm. How do you know I wasn’t enjoying the chat?”, you ask as your eyes fleet around the bar.

“Well first off, you were way too eager to get away. I mean you didn’t even ask who was calling. Add in the fact that your face is worth a thousand words, sweetheart.”

It takes you another few seconds before you find your mystery caller leaning against the wall by the front door on his cell phone. The long-haired boxer’s grin grew when your eyes met his as his subtly waved his fingers in your direction.

“Wanna get out of here?”

“I’m in the middle of date. I can’t just leave.”, you tease knowing full well you’d let him kidnap you if that meant leaving this date behind.

“There’s only so long you can keep up this rouse before he starts getting suspicious so I would make a decision quickly.”

“Pfft, his brain doesn’t move that fast.”

The man’s laugh echoed into your ear straight to your heart as you blushed, glad that you had the ability to make someone laugh like he just had.

“Honey, a woman as beautiful as you in that sexy dress shouldn’t be bored out of her mind. She should be having her mind blown.”

“And you’re the man to do that?”

“I’d like to try if you give me the chance. I have a feeling you’re not easy to please like all these other giggly girls and I like a challenge.”

“Smooth, Mr. Munson.”, you giggle.

“Ah, so you were there to see me fight.”

“No, sir. It was just a happy accident.”

“Ooooo sir. I like that. You can just call me Eddie for right now though.”

“I prefer the term Daddy.”

It was no longer subtle that the two of you were staring at each other from across the bar. His breathing stutter slightly and you bit your bottom lip to force them to remain still even though you wanted to smirk his way.

“Y/N? Everything alright?”, your date asked as he placed himself in the chair next to where you were standing.

“Y/N.”, Eddie repeated as if he was trying to familiarize himself with your name. When you didn’t reply, your date’s palm reaches out to slide down your arm and take your hand in his. “I’m counting every second he touches you. That’s how many times I’m going spank you for allowing it.”

A tear runs down your cheek and you see regret flash through his eyes, worried he may have gone too far before he sees you hang up the phone and pull your hand from your date’s grasp.

“I have to go. My brother was in-in an accident.”, you cry as you make a beeline to where the boxer was standing near the coat check desk. “Excuse me.”, you murmur as your arm brushes chest, the contact sending a little electricity through you both.

“No problem.”, he mumbles as he turns to leave, making sure the back of his hand grazes yours as he does.

“Do you want me to drive you—”

“No, no its ok. My sister lives close by so she’s going to pick me up. She’s the one that called.”

“Ok, well, let me at least wait with you.”

“Alright. You pay and I’ll wait outside.”

After he nods, you sprint outside to find Eddie sitting on a motorcycle offering you a helmet.

“Really?”, you sass as you take it from his hand and slide it onto your head.

“Psh like you don’t like it.”

Revving the engine, you cling to his waist as he drives off into the night.

***

Your eyebrow raises as pulls up to a gym and sifts through his pockets to search for his keys.

“Yeah, um, welcome to my humble abode for the time being.”

“You live in a gym?”

“I live in the back of a gym. Big difference.”

“Oh absolutely.”, you jest as you allow him to lead you inside. “I would figure with how good of a fighter you are, you’d have Rocky 4 levels of riches.”

Again, he cackles as he throws his head back and in that moment, you started to realize you would do anything to continue hearing that sound.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone from your generation mention such an old movie.”

“It’s not that old and neither are you.”

“Well, aren’t you sweet.”, he smiles as he opens another door in the back and gestures you inside. “I kind of started boxing a bit late in the game compared to everyone else around me. Some of these kids have been doing it their whole lives and I only started training 10 years ago.”

As you take in his little room, Eddie heads to his mini fridge to grab a couple of beers. You could tell, he hadn’t been here long, living out of a suitcase for the time being.

“How long are you stuck here?”

“I actually just got an apartment so I move in, in about a month.”

“What happened to your last place?”

Eddie smiles as he hands you one of the bottles in his hand.

“You ask a lot of questions.”

“I’m inquisitive.”, you smirk back as tilt the beer to clink with his before taking a sip. “I need to know if this is where you take your hookups to hide from your wife.”

“What makes you think I’m married?”

“Huh.”, you muse as you take a seat on his couch/bed. “Most men would immediately deny. ‘Oh, no, baby! I’m not married. I swear.’”

The boxer rushes forward as you speak to hastily move his sheets and pillow on to another chair before taking a seat beside you.

“I’m, um, no I’m not married.”, he chuckles nervously. “Full transparency, I actually just got out of relationship so if I seem…awkward…that’s why.”

“I think you’re doing alright.”, you smile as you turn to face him getting more comfortable and he does the same. “Better than chatty Cathy.”

Again, he laughs and again you swoon.

“If it makes you feel better I just got out of a two-year relationship myself.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. How long has it been?”

“A few months.”

“Geez and you’re already dating?” When you don’t laugh like he does, Eddie panics as you sip your beverage. “No, that came out wrong. I just meant that you’re doing better than me. It’s been a year since I’ve even seen my ex and dating hadn’t even crossed my mind. Fuck, I sound like an idiot.”

Your giggle pierces his heart and he melts in relief.

“No, you don’t. May I ask what made you find the confidence to ask me over?”

“I saw you from the ring and thought you were a fucking angel I’d never see again. When I walked into the bar and saw you, I knew I couldn’t let the opportunity slip away.”

“Wow. Smooth again, Mr. Munson.”

“I thought you preferred Daddy.” You blushed as your head dipped, trying to hide your eyes but his callused fingers quickly reached out to grab your chin forcing you to look at him again. “This…This goes without saying but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. We can just talk or—”

Your lips on his interrupted his gentlemanly speech before tilting back slightly so your mouth wasn’t far but you could still see his face.

“Do I make you nervous, Daddy?”

“Fuuuuuuuck.”, Eddie whispers as both palms cup your cheeks. “I don’t want t-to disappoint you.”

Slowly, you crawl over him till your straddling his lap and take hold of his hands to guide them to your wide hips.

“You won’t, baby, but if this isn’t something you’re into—”

“No, no, no. I’m into it.”, he rushes making you giggle as his face flushes with embarrassment at his earnestness. “My ex wasn’t… she tried for me a couple of times but...”

“You never really fully got to take control?”

“I told you it’s been a while since I’ve dated but it’s been even longer since I was able to be Daddy.”

“Sounds lonely.” His head tilts to the side at your statement as his brows furrow. “People don’t understand it but when I’m in my little girl headspace I feel safe when I’m with the right partner. It’s natural for me sometimes when I’m intimate to slip into that mode and if I was with someone who couldn’t satisfy that… I would feel lonely…like I did something wrong.”

When your eyes meet his again, Eddie’s smiling up at you with a softness you appreciate.

“Thank you for coming to my TED talk.”

His body shakes as he laughs and you feel the energy in the room lighten.

Comfortable.

Bringing your lips to his, he reciprocates with more confidence.

“Take your time and ease back into it.”, you whisper.

You continue to grind against him as you murmur soft words in his ear and his hands roam your back. Gripping the bottom of your dress, he lifts it up your body and groans as his eyes hungrily take you in.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy.” Smirking, you slide off him, your eyes never leaving his as you remove your panties and toss them at his chest. “Leave your shoes on and crawl to Daddy, baby.”

Your pussy clenches at his words, his confidence in the title starting to return. Sinking to your knees, you do as he says making him groan as he unbuckles his belt and pushes his pants to his ankles allowing his cock to spring free.

As he spits into his hand and strokes himself, you pause.

“Jesus. You’re so fucking big.”

“Hey.”, Eddie growls causing your head to snap at attention. “Watch your mouth.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I’ve just…” You continue to crawl forward till your hands balance on his knees. “…never had a dick as big as yours inside me. I-I don’t know if it will fit.”

“Shit. It’ll fit, pretty girl. We’ll make it fit. You just have to get it nice and wet.”

After nodding in agreement, he hisses as your hand wraps around him and the tip of your tongue darts out to lick the little beads of precum that had begun to leak out.

“Goddamn it, Y/N.”

Opening your mouth wide, you test the waters and bob your head taking half of him as you allow your tongue to swirl around his head along his slit.

“T-That’s it, baby.”, Eddie pants as he pulls your hair into a makeshift ponytail to get a better look at you’re doing. “Good girl. Your mouth feels so…so good. Try and take more, sweetheart.”

You do as he asks and promptly gag as your throat constricts around him.

“Fuck! That’s it. Take it, baby. Choke on Daddy’s cock. Let m-me help.” Holding you tightly, you allow him to use you as he thrusts his hips and his dick hits the back of your throat. “There we go. Mouth open, flat tongue. So fucking beautiful taking my dick like this.”

Tears spill, smearing your make up as he lets you go and you take in big gulps of air. Grasping your cheeks, he kisses your lips as his thumbs wipe away the stains under your eyes.

“Such a good girl… so good for me. I should have asked but do you have a safe word? Is Red still a good one?”

Eddie smiles as you breathily laugh and give him a peck before climbing up his lap to straddle him again.

“Red is still good.”

“Turn around, sweetheart.”

After doing what he says, your whole body melts into his slightly sweaty chest as his arms wrap around you. Gripping the base of his shaft, you shutter as he slides his cock between your folds, teasing your clit with his tip.

“You’re so wet, little girl, fuck. Are you ready for Daddy, baby?”

“Yes. Please.” Lifting your hips to help guide him, the boxer begins to gradually push himself inside of you. “Oh…f-fuck…”

“Are you ok?”, he whispers in your ear as you fully fall back against him.

“Yeah, yeah. It…feels so good…so big. Mmnah!”, you whine as he slowly thrusts in another inch stretching you open.

“You’re doing so good for me, Y/N. Take your time. We have all night, honey.”

Your half lidded eyes watch as he runs his tongue along his fingers before bringing them down to massage circles against your clit, feeling your pussy flutter and allowing him more leeway as you both groan feeling your lap finally connect with his.

“You’re—mmph—so fucking tight.”

Experimentally, you roll your hips and the moan that leaves his lips has your eyes rolling as you do it again. You know his fingers gripping your love handles will leave bruises as he starts to guide you but you don’t care as you suck hickies into his neck, smiling at the vibration as he groans.

“Bounce, pretty girl. Fuck me hard.”

Balancing your hands on his knees, your head lulls forward as you bounce on top of him, mewling repetitive ahs as he slams into that sensitive spot inside you. His palm comes down hard on your ass as he continues to knead his fingers into the plump flesh.

“God, I can’t get over how fucking sexy you are. Cum for Daddy, sweetheart. Make—fuck—make yourself cum on my cock.”

Falling back against him, his wide lust filled eyes watch as one of your arms comes around to cling to the back of his neck as your other brings your hand to massage your breast. Eddie had never met a woman like you before and was pretty sure he would never meet again.

Even with his ex, she used to be pretty open minded but never seemed to carry the kind of confidence you did. He knew when he saw you from the ring that you were different but he had promised himself he would focus on his career for the time being before jumping into anything new relationship wise.

But how could he let you walk out that door tomorrow morning and let you go?

Your body trembled against him and he grunted as your cunt gripped his cock as you came. You rode out your high and the feeling made him almost feral as he picked you up to move you both the floor.

With his hand firmly holding the back of your neck smushing your cheek into the floor, Eddie thrust into you with rough abandon as you fell apart beneath him.

“Oh my Goooooood. So fucking deep.”

Twisting his hand to curl his fingers in your hair, he yanked you closer to his chest and slowed his pace but not his intensity as his skin slapped obscenely into yours.

“Does my dick feel good, sweetheart?”

“Yeeeeesss—mmmah!”

“Tell me. Tell Daddy how much this tight little pussy loves my cock.”

“Y-Your cock feels so good, Daddy. My pussy was made for you.” As you spoke, his forehead rested against your cheek as his eyes shut and he found his rhythm again. “I want to feel you cum inside me, baby please.”

His eyes snapped open as he scanned your face realizing immediately you were telling the truth.

“Don’t—Don’t say shit like that, little girl, unless you mean it.”

“P-P-Please, Daddy. I promise I’m safe. I need you to fill me up. I need to feel how good my pussy made you feel.”

“Goddamn it.”, Eddie grunted, pulling out and aggressively flipping you over onto your back before guiding himself back inside you.

Your legs promptly wrapped around his waist and he pounded into you knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Just like that, Daddy. I’m—fuck—M’gonna cum again. Cum with me.”

Balancing on his palms, his chocolate irises took in all of your beautiful features as they contorted in pleasure. It had been so long since he made a woman feel this good and he desperately wanted to please you. Your palms massaged along his slightly sore arms and his chest, gliding effortlessly over his bruises that were beginning to form from his fight earlier that night.

None of that mattered.

Every ache and pain he carried from the ring, disappeared as soon as you touched him and all he could focus on was the warmth that was you.

“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. I’ll give you what you want.”

Circling your arms around him, you pulled him against your body, needing to absorb him as he rolled his hips, grunting in your ear till you felt his release warm you deeper than any man you had before. The whine Eddie made as his fingers clung to your hair was enough to have the coil snap for the final time that night as your pussy tried to milk everything he had to give.

You both laid there together silently intertwined for a good long while as you tried to catch your breaths.

“Are you ok?”, you whisper.

Pushing up onto his elbows, his hand moves some stray hairs away from your sweaty face as he softly smiles down at you.

“Yeah, baby, I’m good. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, a little sore.”, you answer as your eyes gesture between your bodies.

“Shit, ok, um, I’ll go slow. Ready?” When you nodded, as gently as he could, he pulled out of your aching cunt, cooing praise at you as you winced. “Good. Good girl. We, um, I don’t have a shower in here but there are locker rooms with showers if you want or we can stay here of course.”

“I’d like to shower, please.”

The way you said please told him you were still coming down from that headspace causing your words to echo in his brain about how lonely it can be being stuck there and not being taken care of properly.

Rising to his feet, he hastily helped you to yours before taking you in his arms and caring you to the locker room.

“Thank you. I’m not too heavy?”

“Not at all, princess.”

You watch his face as he turns on the water and makes cute little faces as the cold water hits his hand first before steaming up the area. As he cleaned your skin, his tongue poked out the side of his mouth making a little giggle fall from yours.

“What are you laughing at?”

“You.”, you smile. “You’re just really adorable.”

“Thank you? I think.”, he grins as he comes up to kiss your forehead.

After you’re both clean and back in his room, he pulls out the couch to turn it into a bed and places you on it before you notice him pause.

“I, um, I just assumed you’d be falling asleep here. I’m sorry. Did…did you need to get home?”

“Um…” You meant what you said when it came to relationships. You weren’t ready to jump into a new one and when you let him bring you home you told yourself this was just going to be a onetime thing but you couldn’t deny there was something about this man that made you feel safe. Maybe you could just take things slow and see where it led. “No, I can stay.”

Eddie breathed a sigh of relief as he leaned down to kiss your lips. Throwing one his shirts over your frame, you laughed as he pulled on his boxers and obnoxiously jumped into bed.

With your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around you, the two of you talked till the sun slowly began to rise outside his window.

##################

“I thought you were dead!”, Paige shouted as she lightly pushed your arm before getting up to hug you when she saw you walk into the restaurant you two were supposed to be meeting at. “You didn’t text me or anything and when I woke up you weren’t home.”

“I know! I’m so sorry. I got caught up with someone…”, you grin as your eyes bashfully meet hers.

“Oh, tell me everything.”

The two of you giggle as you regale her with the story of the previous night’s events as you swoon over the older boxer you met.

“Ugh, well I’m glad something good came from boxing.”, she sassed, sticking out her tongue for emphasis.

“Good lord, what is it with you and boxing? Were you once a fighter who lost her dream when another fighter broke your neck?”

“No, you movie nerd.”, she laughs. “My dad’s a boxer. I mean I guess you can call him that. He’s a mechanic but decided randomly to start training to fight.”

“Your dad the deadbeat?”

“Yeah. He went training 24/7 and it killed my mother. They stopped spending time together and when they were together they fought constantly. One day a few months ago, he was just gone and next thing I know they are getting a divorce.”

“I’m so sorry, Paige. I know how hard divorce is on a family.”

“He’s supposed to meet me today to get some more of his things. He doesn’t have a place right now and begged my mom to hold his stuff till he found something. I guess he’s won a good amount of matches because he told her the other day he’d saved enough money to finally move. My mom refuses to see him so I’m the messenger I guess.”

“Do you want me to lag behind so I can be your reason to leave? ‘Oh here’s my roommate. We have to go.’”, you joke.

“My saint. Would you please? Op, speak of the goddamn devil.”, she sighs as she flashes you her phone screen. “I’ll meet you outside.”

As she walks outside, you hurry to pay so she’s not alone for too long. Paige was a wonderful roommate and an even better friend. When you met her, you had just had your breakup and nowhere to go. She was sympathetic to your plight and helped you at your absolutely lowest. She got you get back on your feet and now after meeting Eddie, maybe things were finally on the right track again.

“You don’t have to do this, sweetheart. I can drive down there and get my things myself. She shouldn’t be asking you to be the ‘middleman’. This is between me and your mother.”

“I don’t mind doing it after what you did to her. Imagine how she’d feel if you showed up covered in hickeys. Hide that shit better.”, Paige shouted as she slammed her trunk closed and her father lifted the collar of his jacket. “Whatever doesn’t fucking matter. All that matters to you now is yourself and your dreams, you fucking asshole.”

“Paige, please. Can we just talk so I can explain some things—”

“No, we can’t. My roommates here and we need to go home. Right, Y/N?”, she growls as she turns to face you.

Your eyes widen as you come face to face with Paige’s “deadbeat” father. Eddie seems equally as surprised as his jaw falls open.

“Th-This is the girl you moved in with?”, he whispered.

“What do you care? She’s my friend and mom loves her. Come on, Y/N.”

As your roommate, grips your arm and pulls you to her car, you struggle to take your eyes off the older man as his own irises sullenly follow.

Of course. How could I be so stupid to think things would get better? I should have refused the blind like I wanted to. If I had this would never have happened. I’m a fucking idiot.

As Eddie watches his daughter speed away with the angel he met last night, he pulled the piece of paper you left by his nightstand with your phone number and a note saying you needed to meet your roommate for lunch but you would talk to him later.

His heart fell into his stomach as the notion ran through his head that you may never want to speak with him again.

################

@dashingdeb16 @myherometalhead @micheledawn1975 @hardladyheart @chelebelletx @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @paleidiot

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blackmoonoracle · 4 months ago

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BLACKMOONORACLE PRESENTS ...

PICK A CARD • OCTOBER PREDICTIONS

P I L E O N E

Soooo, you’ve definitely got a pretty decent release coming in during the month of october. I specifically heard the releasing of a karmic contract, so, I truly love that for you. You could be making a decision about a connection, it definitely feels like a past energy though. Some sort of cycle you’ve experienced with a particular soul over and over again. You put a stop to this though, I feel like you called it like it was. I’m channeling Vultures by Earl Sweatshirt and the beginning of the song literally goes. “I’ve been on the run, that’s why I go harder than you go. Plus I call em how I see em, maybe that’s why I’m all alone.” Season of the Witch is currently playing and it’s the part that goes “you’ve got to pick up every stitch” it feels like an energy of uprooting. I do feel like this pile has a tendency to hold onto people that don’t serve them in any way shape or form. Channeling Serve the Servants by Nirvana, in specific this part stands out:

“I just want you to know that I don't hate you anymore There is nothing I could say that I haven't thought before”

There feels like a specific intention in this pile to remove themselves from relationships that are dragging them down.

Something may be occurring that is causing you to let go of this connection, like something is going to make you realize you’re wasting your time. It’s not like usual either, it’s like this undismissable feeling of disgust and realization.

The mask is being ripped off, and in a very ugly way LOL.

I feel like whatever information you’re going to learn from this situation is actually going to help you develop better self esteem and turn a new leaf. It feels like a sigh of relief, this person possibly made you feel like you weren’t good enough, or were a bad person. I heard “I’m always the problem” and you’re going to realize that you aren’t and never were the problem.

I literally heard “reactive abuse”.

If you’d like to book a personal reading you can always dm me on here or instagram.

P I L E T W O

You guys are making social waves the month of october by setting harsh boundaries and restrictions in place with others. I heard “Look but don’t touch” I feel like there may be some kind of drama going on in october. I did hear workplace, so for some of you this could be career/reputation/workplace related drama and bs bubbling over. I see you taking things into your own hands and very critically thinking about the situation so you can make a solid decision that is balanced and fair. I also heard “in your favor” I feel like whoever this person you have issues with is doesn’t have a very good reputation. It’s almost like this person speaking so negatively of you constantly is really aggravating other people. Especially because you don’t really talk about them at all. You’ve pretty much moved on from whatever this is.

I heard “bitter ex friend” and I also heard “bite the bullet” and I heard something about a poison apple? Someone could have tried to use an apple in some sort of hex or spellwork towards you. It could be also that someone has poisonous intentions of trying to gain access to you and that you are putting that shit to a stop.

I heard scorpio, so this person could be a scorpio. I see you essentially making a judgment on this person socially which is going to cause other people to really see them in a different light. You could also be bringing context or clarity to some kind of situation, you hold missing information or you are a missing link in some way. I also heard complexity, so this situation could be very complex.

This new judgment will teach you to be more selfish with your time and resources so that you can create a genuine balance in your life.

Too much gratitude I heard, which is lowkey crazy? I think that what that means is that essentially sometimes you put shit on a pedestal. There’s a self worth wound being worked out in this situation tbh.

If you’d like to book a personal reading you can always dm me on here or instagram.

P I L E T H R E E

I see a new financial opportunity becoming available in the month of october for you, something unexpected. It could be in something with creation of some kind, doing and creating content possibly even? I see you handling business matters and phone calls of some kind? I heard admin, so some sort of administrative position? I also heard dream job, so for some of you this could be a once in a lifetime opportunity or for others this could be a really solid offer. I also heard high caliber, but I’m also hearing don’t work yourself to death. This group feels very capricorn type of energy, addicted to working, you love making money. I see where you’ve fought long and hard to get into whatever position is being given to you. I see where you’ve lost so much, in search of stability and I feel like you will need to face your shadow of lack and insecurity while in this job position or offer. It almost feels like some of you may try to eject yourself out of the situation because you’re scared or because it feels too good to be true? I feel like this is a good opportunity, but don’t get wrapped up in social liaison I heard. I feel like you have to learn to be comfortable with not fitting in or being like neck deep in a community. You’re meant to be a bit of an outlier at this current point in time because you are learning something new. You’ve already developed the social skills, this is about developing a deeper personal skillset that you can really utilize to drive you to your success.

I see this group really coming to terms with the past, and releasing either the fear of being seen for who you are. I’m also hearing “of being heard” a fear of being perceived for who you really are. You are healing your relationship to yourself, i heard “grotesque” you might be really mean to yourself a lot of the time. Like highkey you are very impatient and cruel to yourself at times and it lowkey sucks for you. I also heard don’t lose sight of what you have, this new opportunity is here for you to milk it for what it has to offer and then dip when things begin to culminate on a deeper scale for you. Some of you could really go through a deep spiritual awakening and learn what happiness truly means to you as a result of this.

If you’d like to book a personal reading you can always dm me on here or instagram

#tarot community #tarot online #tarot reading #pac #pick a card #pick a pile #tarotblr

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ghosty-writes-23 · 5 months ago

Text

Just Can't Let Him Go. - Leon S Kennedy.

!TAGS!: NSFW Content, Needy!Leon, Desperate Sex, CONSENT IS KEY, Cheating (With Y/n), Sweet Ending, !WRAP IT, BEFORE YOU TAP IT!, Unprotected Sex, Soft!Dom!Leon, P in V, Creampie, Eating Out, Slight Anal, Spit Kink, Slight Choking, Praise, Aftercare.

Pairing: Vendetta!Leon + Mistress!Fem!Reader

Rating: Mature.

Summary: “I Know I Need To Put A Stop To This Before Its Too Late, But I Can’t He Makes Me Weak.”

Leon knew coming here was a mistake, he just needed to get back onto his motorbike and leave, to not be sitting outside your apartment at night waiting for you to reply to his message, to not be hoping you will open your apartment door and welcome him with open arms. He knew this was wrong to crave the touch and affection from one person while being with another, but he couldn’t stop himself. He needed you like oxygen even if it meant going behind his girlfriend’s back.

Word Count: 4.4k

Ghosty's Notes: Hello my lovelies, yes I have finally done it, I have written Vendetta!Leon finally, I know I have been promising it for months and I am sorry that it has taken this long to get around too, but I do hope you find it worth it, this is probley some of the filthiest smut I have written in a long time, so please enjoy.

----------

Thank you for all the support, it means alot❤️

-Ghosty❤️

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Tonight, you were finally enjoying a cozy night in after last night’s nightmare of a shift at the bar you work at, you hated spending your night’s serving asshole customers, unnecessary flirty comments or remarks from drunken men and woman trying to get in your pants or a free drink, minor’s trying to buy alcohol with clearly fake ID’s and the list goes on, from catching couples fucking in the bathrooms to breaking up fight’s that break out in the bar and having to get the police involved, these are never fun when you have to clean up the mess afterwards, who knew cleaning up blood would be such a mission.

But even with all the negatives you have for your work place, there are some positives like the friends you have made there, a boss that isn’t a complete prick and let’s you have free drinks when your working your shift just as long as they aren’t alcoholic ones.

Some of the customers can be sweethearts like a regular you have that comes in every Friday night just before closing and like’s to give the staff any left over food from his takeaway store that didn’t sell, but he didn’t want to throw it out. You and your work besties are always grateful and take it with a smile and give him a discount on his drinks since it was only fair.

You were sitting on your couch panting your finger nails while the opening credits to Buffy The Vampire Slayer season two started playing, you were humming along to the theme song and trying to focus on not getting black nail polish all over your hand.

It always annoyed you that you needed to do more then one coat to get the desired darkness that you liked, but you carefully applied the polish and waited for it to dry, which took forever. You planned on having a self-care night with painting your nails and doing a face mask that you will have to dig around in your bathroom to find.

Your friend Claire was always tell you needed to take some you time and relax, so she gave you a little self-care pack with some face masks, eyes patches that felt like slimy jelly in your hands and made you cringe at the texture, but she seemed so excited for you to try, so for her you would try and use some of the things she had gifted.

When the first coat of nail polish finally dried you went to grab the little brush handle to start the second coat when your phone buzzed, indicating a new message which made you frown because who would be messaging you this late, reaching over the table you grabbed your phone and unlocked it and went to look at the message.

Leon: I miss you Y/n…

You froze as you stared at the message on your phone screen, your heart rate picked up slightly as conflicting feelings and emotions started swelling in both your head and heart. You and Leon have a complicated friendship if that’s what you could call it.

You and Leon meet many years ago while you were working in a hotel bar, one of his missions went longer than anticipated and he stayed at the hotel you were working at and came down to the hotel bar just before you were closing.

He looked exhausted but not the kind that sleep could fix so you decided to keep the bar open for a little bit longer, so he could have his drink in peace and you could take your time closing the bar down for the night.

But one thing you couldn’t have predicted about that night was being bent over the bar counter and being railed with his gloved hand around your throat as he used your body like his own personal stress relief toy, you had never been fucked like that ever before, he made you see stars.

The following morning you had to sneak out of his hotel room, even after he tried to ‘convince’ you come back to bed with neck kisses and soft growls and as much as you wanted to stay in bed with him, you had to go to work downstairs or you would be fired.

You had showered at gotten to work only for your boss of the hotel bar calling you into her office and pulling up CCTV footage of you and Leon in the bar last night, you remember all the color draining from your face and trying to figure out an excuses you could make, but she just smirked at you and gave you a warning but also high fived you for finally getting laid.

She was one of the best bosses you had while working there, she was roughly around the same age as you and was the boss of the whole hotel’s daughter so she let some people get away with small things every now and then, but when you left to go to the job you currently have the city It broke your heart, because you would miss her a lot but you would always stay in contact and try and see each other when you could. It made you remember that time you told her Leon had a girlfriend.

*Flashback*

You and Iris were sitting in your apartment sipping on wine glasses and catching up, it has been months since you last seen her, you had missed her dearly. “So, wait let me get this straight, Leon as in the guy that gave you the most mind-blowing sex of your life, has a girlfriend.” Iris says before she took a sip of her whine, just then sentence made you want to curl up into a ball and hide forever. “he doesn’t call her his girlfriend, more like friends with benefits, but she see’s him as her boyfriend.” You tried to explain it to her the way Leon has explained it to you a few nights ago. “Still if he is involved with somebody else then he shouldn’t be trying to get into your pants.” Iris said before she sets her glass down on the coffee table and grabs your hands.

“Y/n honey, just because he is good for your hole, doesn’t mean he is good for your soul.” Iris says with a straight face, causing a very heated blush to come onto your face at her crude words. “IRIS.” You say with a soft embarrassed squeal in your voice. “You know I’m right.” Iris says matter of factily and deep down you knew she was right, going down this road would only lead to disappointment and heartbreak but that doesn’t stop you from melting every time he calls you darling, doll or his good girl, or the pure bliss you feel when you feel his muscular arms wrap around you making you feel safe.

*End of Flashback.*

Shaking your head you focused on the present, you still hadn’t replied to the message leaving it on read, you know what you needed to do, to ignore the message or even delete it and pretend it doesn’t even exist no matter how much it hurts your heart. This was wrong on so many levels, yes Leon didn’t love his girlfriend and it only seemed to be a situationship that they both benefited from and it’s not like they in an actual relationship but that didn’t stop you from feeling any less guilty, you wanted so badly to put an end to this before somebody got really hurt but deep down you knew he made you weak he always had, ever since he purred you were his doll as he took you from behind, you heart had never same since that night.

Leon: I know you said last time was the last time, but please Yn I need you even if it’s only just for tonight, she isn’t you, she doesn’t understand me the way you do, Please doll.

Y/n: Leon…

You didn’t know what to reply with, it has been months since you last saw him, all you could manage to send was his name because you knew deep down what was going to happen, you would welcome him into your apartment with open arms and open legs, you would let him ravish your body any way he wanted, marking you his until the bruises and bite marks faded a few days later, it made you feel weak and pathetic but you couldn’t help yourself, you loved him even if you weren’t meant too.

Y/n: I’ll leave the front door unlocked.

Leon: Just left the DSO, on my way now, be there in 10 minutes.

You sighed softy as you threw your phone onto the couch before placing your hands over your face, guilt was bubbling in your stomach, but so were butterflies. After tonight you had to put a stop to this no just for your sake but also Leon’s before things got to deep and complicated. Soon you heard the familiar rumble of a motorbike causing your heart to pick up and your thighs to clench subconsciously

When you heard you apartment door open you ran over to Leon in a hurried pace, your feet carrying your body towards him, Leon’s bag fell to the ground with a heavy thud before he opened his arms to catch you, your legs wrapping around his thin torso as his muscular arms wrapped around your body holding you securely to his body, you guys fit together like puzzle pieces, two halves of a whole, Leon has caught you effortlessly, his large gloved hands held you by your ass as he walked into your apartment and then pressed you against the front door.

Your mouths crashed together in a hunger and desperate filled kiss, your tongues intertwining and lapping at each other’s as your bodies grinded against each other’s. Moans and groans leaving both of your lips. Leon pulled away only for a few seconds, his forehead resting on yours as his blue eyes meet yours, desperation, hunger, lust and warmth clouded his eyes, his warm breath was hitting your face, you could see the tips of his ears were red.

“I need to be inside you doll.” He groaned softly, there was a soft growl in his voice that made you clench around nothing. “Condom?” you say softly, you knew you had some upstairs but something told you weren’t going to be making it upstairs. “Don’t have one on me this time sweetheart.” Leon says with a frustrated groan, you knew he had just gotten back from a mission, you didn’t think he would be taking a condom with him.

Biting your lip you knew the other option, you had gotten tested not that long ago and knew you were clean, you made it a priority that you get checked at least every 2 weeks to 4 weeks or whenever you sleep with somebody different, because you can’t be sure sometimes. Looking up at Leon he nodded his head. “I’m clean as well, got tested last week.” He tells you and you nod your head, you knew the risks of not using a condom, but you took your birth control this morning and you trusted Leon.

“Okay.” You say to him and he nodded his head and helped you out of your shorts and panties, they fell down your ankles pooling on the floor, you kept you hoodie on as Leon opened his pants, he got them half way down his thighs before he was grinding against you, you could feel his soft length grinding against you, causing you to bite your bottom lip soft sounds leaving your lips.

“Please Leon.” You soft whined as you tightened your arms around his neck as you pressed your body closer to his, there was no distance between your bodies, you could feel his warm breath on your neck panting softly, the scent of his cologne, gunpowder filled your nose it was a scent that brought you a sense of comfort and warmth, as well as made your body feel hot and bothered.

“I know doll, I know.” Leon says against your neck as he adjusted his position, soon Leon spat on his hand and used his saliva as lubricant as he gave his cock a few pumps before he brought it to your entrance, he tapped his tip a few times causing sweet whines to leave your lips before he pressed his hips forward causing his length slide inside smoothly causing sweet whines and cries to leave your lips as he filled you up, you could feel him growing inside you stretching you could perfectly.

One of his gloved hands came up to the door behind your head, to balance himself and use his other hand on your ass to keep you in place as he began to thrust at a steady but slow pace, burying his face in your neck, his stubble scratching the soft skin of your neck and shoulder but in this moment you didn’t care, all thoughts left your mind as you focused on the pleasure this man was giving you.

“Fuck, been waiting for long on for this.” Leon groans in your ear as you feel his grip on your ass tightens slightly, his gloved fingers digging into the soft flesh knowing there will be a bruise there tomorrow, you could feel his cock twitch as he kneaded your ass as he thrusted into you rhythmically, sweet moans and cries fell from your lips uncontrollably as you moved your hips to meet his thrusts, you leaned back against the door as you tightened your legs around his waist.

You could hear the door creak and rattle with every thrust, you felt Leon pick up the pace slightly, the tip of his cock hitting that sweetspot that made your eyes roll to the back of your head, you felt his hand that was on the door was now in your hair, tugging your head back slightly exposing your throat, you could feel his lips and teeth attack the soft skin, leaving marks on your skin that you will have to cover up tomorrow before you go into work. Sweat started to cover your body, your hair was sticking to your forehead, your body becoming slick.

“Leon.” You babbled his name out as you could feel your thighs behind to shake, you knew you were close, your body felt as if it was tightening, at the sounds of your cries Leon steady up his thrusts, he was now pounding into you could hear his grunts and praises.

“I know sweetheart, cum for me.” Leon grunted against your neck that his teeth were currently sunken into, soon he buried himself to the hilt inside you, that pushed you over the edge. You cried out his name with a loud whine and dug your nails into his shoulder as you felt your body come undone around him.

He soon followed and you felt his cock twitch inside you before he filled you up, causing pleasure to ripple though your body causing you to mew softly. You both stay like this for a few minutes, both breathing heavily and waiting for the trembling of your body to stop, but there was a smile on your lips. But soon you were lifted up and taken to your couch, where you were laid over the arm chair, you could feel Leon’s cum dripping down your thighs making a mess and your cheek flush bright red, you needed to clean yourself up.

Looking over your shoulder at Leon, you could see him admiring the sight of you bent over the couch arm, watching his cum run down your thighs, you saw him kneel down between your legs from behind, then he took off his gloves and put them on the ground before you felt his fingers run up the back of your thighs, your combined juices coating his fingers before he caught them up to his mouth and clean them a growl leaving his lips causing you to clench around nothing.

“You’re going to make such a pretty mess for me doll.” Leon says gruffy as you felt his hungry eyes on your puffy pussy. You felt him move the bottom of your hoodie up to the middle of your waist, leaving your behind exposed to him and the cool breeze. “Look at you, so perfect and dirty just for me.” He praises you causing a soft embarrassed whine to leave your lips before without warning he dived in, burying his face in between your thighs from behind feasting on you like a starving man.

A sharp hitch pitched moan leaves your lips as you pushed your hips into the couch, you buried your face into one of your couch pillows as you could hear the wet and sucking noises coming from behind you could hear Leon grunting also animalistically behind you devouring you, He carefully spread your legs more and buried face deeper, his tongue gently lapping at your sensitive bud, before taking it in between his lips and suckled softly.

“Leon.” His name fell from your lips in a hitch pitch slur, your brain was so hazy and blissed out that you couldn’t focus on anything expect him and the pleasure that was flowing through your body. “Such a good girl for me, aren’t you.” Leon groaned against your pussy as you started to grind on his nose, as you were moving your hips you felt his thumb gently tease your asshole, before he slowly pushed it in.

You tensed at first since it was your first time having something back there, but slowly you adjusted your hands where now gripping the pillow your face was buried in as you felt your eyes roll into the back of your head. You could feel another orgasm approaching, your slick was now running down your thighs as Leon’s mouth and fingers worked you, as if he knew your body like the back of his hand.

“That’s its baby, cum all over my face, I wanna drink every drop.” Leon growled against your pussy encouraging you as he increased the intensity of his ministrations. You couldn’t hold on anymore your body feeling as if it was on fire as it trembled under his touch, you squeezed your eyes shut as your body came undone but then you felt it, a gush left your body causing a squeak like moan to leave your lips as your body spasmed.

You felt his grip on your thighs tighten slightly as well as a soft suckling noise, you reached your hand back and tried to push his head away. “to sensitive.” You whined softly before you felt his fingers intertwin with your as he placed one last kiss on your pussy and ass before he got up.

“told you I would make a mess of you.” Leon says with a deep chuckle then you felt his hand around your neck, the same one that was just inside you a couple seconds ago, you could see the front of his shirt was drench in your juice’s causing an embarrassed blush to color your cheeks.

You looked up at him, your eyes glazed over with a hazy and dazed look of lust before you opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out, you felt a drop of his saliva drop on your tounge and you swallowed it immediately, you could taste yourself which caused your cheeks to burn brighter and a grin to come onto his face as he slightly tightened his grip on your neck.

“Such a good girl, always taking everything, I give you.” Leon praises you, his voice low and husky before he leans down and captures your lips in a gentle kiss, that made your heart leap into your chest.

Soon Leon helped you to your feet, he put his arm around your waist to keep you steady as your legs were like jelly and shaking, you both made your way to your bathroom upstairs. “Do you want to shower together or separately.” Leon asks as he guides you into the bathroom and places you on the toilet seat, before going over to your shower and turning on the hot tap. “Together.” You said not trusting your legs to be able to keep you steady in the shower, Leon nodded his head and walked over to you and gently tugged your hoodie off and placed it on the sink before he started to strip himself.

You could see new wounds and scars on his body, but you don’t say anything, you knew his work was private or he couldn’t say anything, but you knew his work drained him both physically, mentally and emotionally and that is what made you worry the most.

Stepping inside the now warm shower water you both felt out a hum as the warm water cascaded over your bodies, relieving the knots and tight muscles in both your bodies, Leon wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closely to his body. Leaning against his body you went up on your tippy toes and pressed and gentle kiss to his lips, this wasn’t sexually driven or rough as before but more tender and softer as if you were trying to savor this moment of soft intimacy in your own little bubble.

Leon returned the kiss also immediately, his callous hands running down your curves before they settled on your ass and give it a small squeeze. “this.” He mumbles against your lips as he gave you soft pecks. “this is why I can’t let you go.” he whispers softly before his blue eyes meet yours. “You’re not just sex to me y/n, but something more.” He says as he cradles your head in his hands before his lips meet yours again in a soft and passionate kiss.

“but we can’t keep sneaking around Leon, it isn’t fair to your girlfriend, even if you’re in a relationship or situationship it still isn’t fair on her.” You say as you gently pressed on his bare chest breaking the kiss softly. “I know.” He admits quietly as he rested his forehead on yours, his damp hair was pressing against your forehead and for a moment you forgot that you were in the shower as his eyes looked into yours, you could see the guilt in them but also a look you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“you know how I feel about you y/n, I’ll figure something out somehow I promise.” Leon promises you as he places a kiss on the top of your head, despite the uncertainty and guilt hanging over them, all you wanted to do was be closer to Leon, he made you feel a way that no other man has ever made you before, he makes your heart flutter and skip a beat with just a look, his arms feel like home, making you feel safe and protected when they are around you, but you knew things were going to be easy for either of you.

After your shower and putting both of your clothes into your washing machine, you were laying on your bed just in a pair of panties, your hair was still a little damp but you knew it would dry overnight, only your bedside table lamp was on giving your bedroom a more relaxed vibe as you could hear the rain outside hitting your windows.

Leon came in a couple moments later, only wearing a pair of briefs, lucky he had left some of his clothes from last time he was here, He soon joined you on the bed and pulled you closely to bare chest as his hand started to run through your dam hair, causing a soft hum to leave your lips.

“Beautiful.” You heard Leon mumble before he leaned capturing your lips in a soft and passionate kiss, like you shared in the shower, you hummed softly against his lips and kissed him back the same, your hands resting on his bare chest, your eyes fluttering closed as you let yourself be lost in this man that you know has capture your heart despite everything.

The dim lighting in the room and the rain outside gave your bedroom an almost intimate and sensual atmosphere as you moved closer to Leon, straddling one of his thick thighs, you could feel the emotions in the kiss, the unsaid words you couldn’t say out loud, the promises and hope. You both explored each other’s mouths languidly, taking the time to savor the taste and feel of each other, not knowing when the next time you would be able to see each other.

You felt him break a hand up and gently stroke your cheek with his thumb as he broke the kiss, he rested his forehead on yours, gazing into your eyes with warmth and adoration. “I love you y/n so damn much.” He confesses softly, his tone was tinged with desperation and longing, as if it was a slient plea for you to always be his and only his.

Reaching up you intertwined your fingers with the hand that was on his cheek and leaned up and softly kissed him, you didn’t say the three words back to him but your actions showed it, slowly you pulled away causing a groan to leave his lips as he tried to chase after your lips, but you place one of your fingers on his lips.

“If your serious about this then leave her, I’m sick and tired of sneaking around behind everybody’s back and feeling as if I am walking on eggshells.” You say to Leon hoping he would understand where you were coming from, you felt him lean forward and soft peck your lips as he gave the soft flesh of your ass a small squeeze.

“I promise I will y/n, you’re the only one I want.” He mumbled against your lips as if he was sealing a promise, you didn’t know what the future held for the both of you, but you knew if Leon kept to his promise then you wouldn’t let him slip through your fingers not again.

“Okay.” You say to him as a smile came across your lips. “Okay.” He repeated back to you echoing your sentiment, he pulled you closer so now there was no space between you as you laid on top of him, you settle in for the night, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm ambiance over your entwined bodies. Even if this was to only last just for tonight you were going to savor every single moment until the sun raised in the morning…

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©Ghosty-writes-23, 2024. all rights reserved. !I DO NOT! consent to translations or replications or reproduction of my work on any other social media platforms and or make AI Bots without my explict consent and permission.

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hotvintagepoll · 4 months ago

Text

Welcome to the HOT AND VINTAGE MOVIE STARS poll blog!

The Scrungly Little Guys (gender neutral) Contest is ongoing, and there is also a Hot & Vintage Movie Couples Mini Tournament happening over the holidays. The scrungle contest enshrines the weird, the off-putting, the comic, the character actor, and the strange cinema legend. If you need a reminder of what scrungle means, this picture of an opossum is the golden standard. The hot people contest is about who is hot.

All polls—including ongoing polls, previous rounds, old tournaments, the various shadow brackets, the Dracula Daily polls, and fun mini polls—can be found in the #hotvintagepoll tag. I am working on a more complete tagging system so people just here for the polls can navigate the blog more easily, but that's still in the works.

FAQs:

“Define scrungly?” For the purposes of this tournament, a contestant must noticeably present in some way as at least one of these: odd, bizarre, off-putting, disheveled, creeping, feral, small, filthy, silly, funny, kooky, comical, exhausted, or just plain strange. This contest presents a wide array of scrungly appeal, so not every contestant will hit every single one of these (but should, ideally, be a few of them). Scrungles were chosen based on how convincing their submitted propaganda was. This contest is all about oddball character actors, creeping henchmen, comic relief sidekicks—the side characters who never get the credit they deserve in proper rundowns of famous old movie actors.

"How do I decide who to vote for with the scrungles?" Vote on whoever seems scrungliest to you. Do not vote for someone based on hotness alone. The video propaganda, included under the cut, is highly encouraged for showcasing scrungles. This contest is very silly and does not always follow the same rules as the hotness tournaments.

"How long does the hot couple tournament go on for?" Each poll in the mini tournament lasts three days.

"Hey! Some of these guys sucked and they shouldn't be here!" Yes, some of these guys sucked. I agree with you. For reasons I've gone into before, I don't exclude anyone from the contest for moral reasons, even if I personally think they were garbage. I do this because I cannot responsibly research and vet every competitor's background and legacy, and I'm not comfortable being the moral barometer for everyone, even in cases where I think it's really obvious. You are welcome to vote against people for moral reasons, but as mod I don’t post or boost negative propaganda about anyone.

If I see repetitive, trolling, or bigoted remarks in the comments, I will block you from this bracket. If you want to point out a competitor’s problematic aspects in the replies, that’s fine, but if I see bad-faith trolling, you will be blocked. I will also block if you start harassing other people voting on the polls. If you really hate that someone is winning, please post positive propaganda for their opponent instead.

I welcome additional propaganda for the scrungly little guys in reblogs or asks. I boost the best propaganda I see and try to boost equally for everyone. I don't accept propaganda that’s post-1970 or from non-film appearances. When sending your propaganda, please don't send me too many pics or videos at once—I max out at about four per ask.

The views expressed in the propaganda are not my own. I don’t alter submissions beyond fixing obvious spelling mistakes. I do choose the poll pics, purposely trying to pick the silliest ones possible for this contest; if you think I could do even sillier, send me one I can use instead. If you think a contestant needs more propaganda, send me an ask with some and let me know if you'd like it added to the poll post if they make it to the next round.

“Who won the major hottie tournaments?” Eartha Kitt and Toshiro Mifune are the reigning hotness champions. They are both living it up by the pool in the sunshine, as far from the shadow realm as possible.

“What's the shadow realm?” All hotties who fail to continue in a tournament are sent to the shadow realm, far below the crust of the earth where gloom ever lingers and the veil is thick.

“Was [this famous person] submitted to any of the tournaments?” Try a tag search for them (ie, #james cagney in my search bar if you're looking for him). If you still haven’t found your person, they either did not fit the criteria of working in movies from 1910-1970, weren't convincingly scrungly in their submission, or were not submitted at all.

“My FAQ isn’t on here :(” send me an ask! I love hearing from you guys—just please check these basics first.

Thank you for being here! Enjoy the polls.

Tournament schedule post-hiatus:

Now finished: Hot Men Tournament, Hot Women Tournament, Dracula Daily casting polls

Starting September 26th: Scrungly Little Guys contest (gender neutral)

Ongoing over the December holidays: Hot & Vintage Movie Couples Mini Tournament

TBD: Ultimate Hottie Tournament (top brackets of the hot men & hot women competing together)

TBD: Horror Hotties (Frankensteins, Draculas, Brides, etc.)

TBD: Dandy Detectives (Marples, Sherlocks, Nancy Drews, etc.)

fun mini polls that pit sets of characters from the same movie together, like the Philadelphia Story or Seven Brides for Seven Brothers ones (these can be found in the #minis tag)

#housekeeping #scrungly 1 #scrungly little guys #hotvintagepoll #scrungly 2

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starryjkoo · 1 month ago

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Please only Jungkook and Jungkook himself is to blame for people (a.k.a his own fans) always twisting his words and actions. Y'all have never bothered to ask yourselves why it's always JK who has to go through this and not the other members, especially the other two maknae line members, since people are just as obsessed with them too?

It's because for years JK has constantly contradicted himself in his words and actions, especially when it comes to Jimin. One minute he's hot, the next he's cold. One minute he says something nice about Jimin and then the next he's back to being an insensitive prick. One minute he's initiating touch with Jimin, the next he looks like he's close to physically throwing up when Jimin does the same to him😅. One moment he does something for Jimin that'll convince you that he truly loves him just a bit more than the others, the next he goes above and beyond for EVERYONE else while making it seem like it's impossible for him to even do the bare minimum for JM (his trip to Hawaii for Tae vs him saying "nah" when Jimin asked him to come watch him practice the next time ???)

No one but JK is responsible for the way his fandom is right now and for how they are treating Jimin. Things like these don't just stem from nowhere. These are his FANS projecting this "he's uncomfortable with Jimin/he hates Jimin/them" narrative onto him and his actions keep the narrative alive and consistent, while naturally the ones who care about Jimin/his relationship with Jimin will be sensitive to how he acts and expect him to be better.

Of course it's obvious that JK loves Jimin a lot and the "uncomfortable" Jikook moments have never bothered me personally because I've always had a reason about why they exist/why JK is like that with Jimin and it's a positive reason. But we can't deny the existence of certain things and why those things exist in the first place.

From an objective standpoint, it makes sense why there are people who believe he doesn't like Jimin and why every time he shows that he does in fact like Jimin or even more-than-just "like" Jimin, they resort to saying he's pretending or that he's being "forced". It also makes sense why there are those who have "high/unrealistic" expectations for him.

And BOTH those sides make up his own fandom, unlike others like Jimin whose antis are the one projecting the "he's fake/pretentious, doesn't really love JK or anybody" personality onto him. It's all from and because of JK.

The same way someone can be infinitely kind, patient and self-less but the one time they snap and express anger for some reason, people will be like "yep this is their real personality, these are their true colours, they were just pretending the whole time"

I’m procrastinating and avoiding doing something rn so I’ll go ahead and give this a long and serious answer even though I’m not super keen on asks like this. I think other people have probably already addressed this topic a lot better than me, but I’d like to spend a minute defending JK since I’ve already addressed the way fandom treats JM a few times on here.

First of all, it’s always JK having to go through this because JK sits at the center of the two most popular ships in an extremely toxic shipping culture where they are constantly fighting over his validation. That’s why his words and actions face the most amount of scrutiny and why they’re weaponized more often than any of the other members (even though it still does happen with other members). I think it’s really as simple as that. tkkrs especially are constantly twisting his words and actions painting him as a villain because Jikook makes them insecure, which is the same reason why they think JM is evil incarnate.

JJKs are half tkkrs, half Y/N’s (or kpop stans who hate and have always hated BTS) and they hate JM more than anything because on top of shipping, he’s also JK’s “main competition”. Of course they want to think that JK hates JM as much as they do when most of them are constantly projecting onto him. I’ll also add that there are a lot of JM/TH overly biased shippers who take everything JK says and does extremely personally too, and then they get their feelings irrationally hurt and take it out on Jungkook. A lot of ex-jkkr PJMs are extra vicious to him because of stuff like this too.

I’m not sure why you think these people are making rational objective observations that have any validity just because they consider themselves his “fans” when most of them are extremely biased and often have some sort of agenda when claiming that he doesn’t like Jimin.

The vast majority of examples of JK being “rude” are just projection and people taking everything he does in bad faith too. I don’t know what examples you mean where JK was allegedly so “insensitive” towards Jimin tbh, because I just constantly see people exaggerating normal teasing and playing to seem like some massive evil thing. And if you’re talking about clips from 200 BCE when he was literally barely a teenager and they were all like that - I don’t think that’s fair to hold against him either.

But let’s say that JK had a moment where he was insensitive - so why isn’t he allowed to be human? Have you never had days where you’re tired, or grumpy, or don’t want to be touched, ever had a moment where you were unintentionally a bit insensitive, a joke that fell flat or came out meaner than intended? Never gotten shy, self-conscious or distracted? Ever had a disagreement with friends? Gotten a little too competitive?

And it’s not just JK who has had these moments btw, it’s all the members because they’re human and none of them are perfect, they’re allowed to experience occasional negative emotions, allowed to have bad days, or quiet days, or days they don’t want to be touched, or are a little snippy with each other. I can't even begin to imagine having to navigate that kind of environment while dealing with my own negative emotions and having everything recorded, picked apart, and weaponized like that.

I feel like you’re basically saying that JK is never allowed to have an off day, and he’s never allowed to be in a bad mood, or say no to something he doesn’t feel like doing? He also can’t tease vmin or be sassy with them the way they are with each other, or the way most of us are with our own friends & family? He can’t get a little shy with JM either? He can only be happy and positive 100% of the time or risk validating psychos who want to claim he hates his bandmates? How is it his fault that people interpret everything he says and does with the most bad faith takes imaginable because of ship and stan wars?

Also I’m going to need a better example of JK not being willing to do something for Jimin because agreeing to go to Hawaii for a fun trip and sky-diving vs not wanting to go to the HYBE building (his workplace that he was mostly avoiding at the time) to sit on the floor and watch JM practice for hours is not really comparable. I don’t even think Jimin cared nearly as much as some people act, he was teasing JK and encouraging him to get out more and smiling throughout that entire exchange, it was never that serious tbh.

What gets me about that whole situation too is that JK was more outwardly supportive of JM during FACE era than he was for any other member, but it’s still not good enough for some people for some reason. And you’re talking about JK being willing to go to Hawaii, but didn’t he travel two more times with JM after JM came to him in NY? Didn’t he agree to JM’s show idea, all this on top of having an insane schedule? Not to mention the night before Jeju, did he not cook Jimin four servings of whatever food after a long plane ride simply because JM asked him to?

There are so many examples of antis taking JM’s obvious playful behavior and twisting it to paint him as a villain, so isn’t it vastly unfair to then turn around and do the same thing to JK? If we can recognize the absurdity in painting JM as an abuser because he reacted to JK’s scuzzi teasing by cursing and gentle roughhousing, shouldn’t we be able to apply the same kind of logic to the people trying to make JK seem like a bully over his reaction to JM purposefully riling him up over ham? Were the “insensitive” remarks you’re referring to ever that serious, or was it normal teasing, friendly jabs, and playful roughhousing? Why is it okay for you to interpret all JK moments in bad faith, blame him for it, and hold it against him forever, while not holding others to the same standards? Shouldn’t we be able to recognize the absurdity in interpreting either of their actions in such obvious bad faith?

I’m just going to have to heavily disagree that there’s ever been a logical objective basis in thinking that JK dislikes Jimin, or that he’s uncomfortable with him. I’m not talking about shipping, I mean the people who think that they’re not even friends, because that’s actually an insane thing to think, and no normal fan is going to look at JKs behavior, where he has had countless examples of encouraging, complimenting, having fun with, and supporting Jimin - who he literally enlisted together with - and then think that they don’t like each other, or that they have a bad relationship, or that JK is annoyed with or dislikes JM. What normal, rational person would actually think that JK would enlist with someone who made him uncomfortable? 99% of the things people use against JK are just normal friendly teasing, and I don’t think he should be expected to act like a friendless robot in fear of a handful of weirdos twisting his words so they can be shady and nasty towards Jimin on social media.

And honestly if people don't like JK's personality or how he comes off that's their right but it's also just their personal opinion, they shouldn't project that on JM who clearly doesn't mind and seems to really enjoy their dynamic a lot. If he didn't like it, he would call it out. Instead he has zero worries about fighting with JK in the military despite Jin's cautioning that even friends of ten years end up fighting. I've seen the hot and cold thing before, and maybe I'm just mostly coming up blank because I'm not one of those jkkrs with encyclopedic knowledge, but I think any moments like that were really not so serious to hold such a grudge over, or to be interpreted so extremely and then used to justify such illogical takes.

Also you’re saying that JJKs interpreting JKs words and actions shadily means something, but you know that PJMs have done the same thing with Jimin right? Like it was PJMs who started that whole thing during Yoongi’s concert trying to imply that JM shaded JK when he said ARMYs were having more fun that night. Also I’ve seen PJMs posting that quote where JM said he was being careful about what he posts online while in the military to shade other members (and then they got mad when iirc KTHs took it personally lol). I also remember PJMs hyping up the fact that Jimin didn’t post for Seven (until he posted JKs hot100 #1). And I remember the whole debacle of that music show hug where both KTHs/PJMs were acting like it was the coldest, most impersonal hug they’ve ever seen and proof the two were no longer friends only for all that to be followed by vicnic and a lot of vmin moments. I can't remember the exact context but I think they've tried to do this with YG too. Solos projecting their negative feelings onto whoever they bias is not anything new, and it’s not something that only happens with JK. Pretty sure a lot of PJMs and some JM biased spent a good chunk of CH2 trying to push the narrative that JM was purposefully distancing himself from tkk because a lot of them simply wanted it to be true, only for the last half of the year to be the literal opposite of that. I've also seen a few PJMs push the fanservice narrative despite that literally being something he receives an insane amount of hate for.

It’s also extremely typical to see stans projecting mean girl personalities onto whoever they bias, I see people do it with groups all the time. Hell, ARMYs just did the same thing with JK’s comment about APT mentioning only Bruno implying he was shading Rose when I sincerely doubt that was his intention. That’s just how people operate in stan spaces, and it’s not the fault of the idols. Another example being aespa, those girls seem like they’re friends with half the industry and yet I constantly see their stans trying to pretend they’re shading every other group.

JJKs being what they are is probably a whole other discussion but no I do not blame JK for his solos being like that at all (just like I would never blame JM for PJMs). He also has a lot of token stans and success stans who don’t even like or respect him as a person, so no I don’t think they understand his personality or have any rational basis in interpreting his words and actions so negatively.

Anyway it's sad that humans always choose to focus on the negative. Someone could show they love another person or a thing all the time, and the few times they do something towards that person/thing that others perceive as the opposite of love, they'll latch onto it and conclude that person doesn't actually love the person/thing. And the other times they show that love won't matter to them anymore. The same way someone can be infinitely kind, patient and self-less but the one time they snap and express anger for some reason, people will be like "yep this is their real personality, these are their true colours, they were just pretending the whole time"

Anyways, I totally agree with this? Which is why your ask has me a bit confused (like is this bait to get me to yap in defense of JK 😭). Isn’t this like the perfect example of victim blaming then, because you’re saying it’s JKs fault that people are choosing to overlook all the good and nice things he does or says to focus on only their negative interpretation instead. Maybe your point is you feel that JK is genuinely being rude or insensitive, which is where I disagree, because imo 99% of the time it’s people choosing to misinterpret his actions to fit their narrative/agenda, and the 1% is normal, human emotion and all seven of them have had their moments.

Jungkook shouldn’t be held to impossible standards just because toxic fans exist, he doesn’t deserve to be dehumanized like that. I just fundamentally do not believe that he or any of the members need to cater to these types of fans, I don’t think they should have to live their lives being paranoid about what they say and do being taken out of context and twisted to that extent. Again, the only people who think that JK hates Jimin are super baised solos and shippers, not normal average fans, and JK shouldn’t have to alter his behavior to cater to those people who will most definitely find a way to twist his words and actions regardless of what he says or does, antis even do this with BTS in general, with Namjoon especially for fanwars all the time trying to twist his words. None of the members should ever be held at fault for their toxic solos or shippers.

anyways, I never found the right moment to post this video, but it's vaguely relevant here so I'll go ahead and add it. every time the discourse about the members being rude to each other pops up I think of this ProZD video about friends

youtube

edit: edited paragraph eleven for clarity 🫡

#discourse #ask #anon #jikook #i didn't mean to dip into discourse #now i have to balance with two fun jkk posts #when i get a min #but no i really hate the way that some jkkrs treat jk #i think a lot of people get very oversensitive #bc of how toxic the shipping environment is #jungkook

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sc0tters · 1 year ago

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Littlest Hughes - Mark Estapa

summary: when a game of beer pong turns interesting you learn to realise that your brothers friend isn't so bad after all.

trope: forced proximity

warnings: sexual themes, p in v (unprotected!), underaged drinking, swearing, fingering.

word count: 3.67k

authors note: to the people that remember when this idea came out in like November, thanks for being patient cause Mark and the beerpong fic are now here! everyone thank @hischierhaze for making this one come out long before she was actually intended to be here for you all. if you want to look at more of the 500 celly then you can do so here!

You swore you hated him.

It was the idea of having someone you couldn’t stand in the slightest. The kind of person you couldn’t even be in a room with as you just wanted to gauge your eyes out. Someone who made you feel so irritated that the mere thought of them had you getting angry.

Now you have weren’t entirely sure why he pissed your off in the ways that he did. But as Mark seemed to hate you just as much as you hated him, you were never going to be in a rush to improve your relationship. Yet the problem arose when he instead opted to get close to your brother, Luke.

The boys were teammates and it was enough to make your whole family agree that your negative relationship with Mark wasn’t enough to stop him from being invited to the lake house. It was Luke’s first summer as an NHL player and those friends from college were the very men that Luke missed so much. So being the best younger sister that you were, you agreed to bite your tongue.

That’s how you landed up spending a week with his closest friends and for the most part you were having a good time.

“God you are such an ass!”

Key word, for the most part.

Mark smirked as he held your top over his head leaving you in nothing more than your blue and yellow bikini “you and I both know that those aren’t the right words.” He teased continuing to lean up each time you reached for the baseball jersey “I will kick you Estapa stop being a dick.” You spat as you crossed your arms sending him a glare.

Before Mark could respond Luke walked into the room “bro could you not leave my sister half naked?” Your older brother gagged as he shook his head “till next time kid.” Even though there was less than two years between you both Mark still loved that nickname.

So as he dropped your shirt in your hands you couldn’t help but scowl at him “fuck off.” You growled pulling the shirt over your arms “you wanna go on the boat you two?” Jacks offer pulled your attention away from the boy as you nodded “sounds great!” You nodded leaving the boy alone as you went to be in peace for the next few days.

You weren’t a hockey player, it wasn’t your thing but what is your thing is beer pong. Yet unfortunately for you it seems that the only person worthy of being your opponent was Mark. So that was how you both ended up being the last ones left in what felt like the longest game of beer pong that anyone had seen “you two see an end in sight?” Quinn groaned as he looked down to his watch when he let out a yawn.

It was this endless back and forth where you would each win a game and would then refuse to let them take it and that’s how you ended up at 12-13 with the only rule that to be crowned champion you’d have to win by two games “you ready to give up?” You sent the boy a glare as it only made the Michigan player laugh “just when I thought you could have been stronger than you actually came off.” The compliment was backhanded as Mark laughed.

The boys responded with groans as the idea of this game continuing made them all feel sick “I’m going to bed.” Quinn announced as he shook his head “me too.” With that boys went in groups as your constant bickering got tiresome.

Seven games had gone on and the new score was 16 all and you were just as irritated now as you were then “could you hold off on killing each other until tomorrow?” Ethan asked as he let out a yawn “want to watch it happen.” Mackie laughed as he nodded in agreement only going quiet when Luke sent them a glare.

Your brother rolled his eyes as he placed his hand on your shoulder “please just let him win so you can both go to bed?” Luke mumbled hoping that you would agree “never.” You grumbled as you refused to give Mark that kind of joy.

So of course things continued and you guys were left alone but not before Luke kissed your head “now you don’t got your big brother helping you out.” Mark teased as he got the ball between his fingers as he lined up his shot.

Mark smirked as he saw you pull your hair into a hair tie “tryna distract me with your skin?” The boy mumbled seeing your collarbones pop through the red cami vest that your were in “cause it’s not gonna work.” He added making you laugh.

It was a hearty one as your teeth caught your lower lip “please the mere thought of tits are gonna have you not seeing straight.” You pressed your hands against the table exposing your body more to him “you wanna bet?” Mark made little effort to ignore the white lace that so clearly stuck out of your top.

He took your silence and furrowed eyebrows as curiosity “winner takes all this game.” The hockey player offered making her scoff “higher stakes though as we’re now doing strip beer pong.” His offer was only met with the sounds of your scoff.

You crossed your arms as you couldn’t help but send him a glare “you just want to see me naked.” You rolled your eyes not wanting to give into him “don’t flatter yourself princess you aren’t my type.” Mark shook his head as he wasn’t interested in you like that “but if you are scared you’re gonna lose then I can accept-” you couldn’t even let him finish his sentence.

“Throw the damn hall Estapa.”

A scoff left your lips as you watched him go back to angling the hall and of course it just had to land in the beer “should we go with your shirt or your shorts first?” Mark teased as he watched you hook your fingers into your shirt before you pulled it over your head revealing the white bra you loved so much as it had a little golden v in between the wires to compliment your skin “not bad.” The boy mumbled to himself as he had seen you in less before but never in something with lace.

You took your cup and brought it to your lips letting the unsweetened liquid hit your tongue as you chugged it back not caring at the amount that dripped down your chin “what?” You asked dropping the cup to the ground as the boy looked like he was watching a dream “nothing.” Mark ignored how your lips were wet and the top of the lace of your bra as getting soaked as beer dropped down your chest.

Of course your ball went in and off went his shirt, it was followed by your shorts and then his. Until eventually you were both only on your undergarments “need some help getting that bra off?” Mark joked as he watched you reach behind your back but not before you flipped him off.

The idea of anyone being able to come down at any point didn’t seem to bother either of you as you clicked the clasp of your bra letting it fall down your arms as the cool summer night air made your nipples harden “you really do have secrets Hughesy.” Mark felt his mouth water as his eyes were drawn to the sparkling titanium bar that was pierced through your left nipple “shut up.” You grumbled as you attempted to ignore the way his hardening stare made you feel.

As you potted your final ball it left the boy having to discard of his boxers “don’t bother with those.” You mumbled leaning down to grab your bra from the floor “would hate to see what isn’t there.” The claim was a total slap in his face and you knew what you were doing as you aimed to piss him off.

It infuriated Mark with how well you knew to get under his skin “please you’d be lucky if I fucked you.” You began walking over to him as your bra was thrown onto the table “Mark I don’t think you even know how to make a girl come.” You shot back as you pressed your finger into his chest “I’d have you struggling to walk tomorrow.” Mark shook his head as he wrapped his hand around your wrist pushing your hand away from his chest.

This was the closest you had ever been to him before as his eyes pierced yours “I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last man on this planet.” You laughed as you turned to walk away but the boy was quick to pull you back “so if I felt those pretty little panties would they be dry?” His voice was barely a whisper as he walked you back against the table until you were finally sat on it.

Your eyes were wide as you shook your head desperate to not give him the enjoyment of seeing that he had indeed won “be as dry as the desert.” You spoke through gritted teeth almost squealing as Mark dug his fingers into the skin of your hips “you gonna let me test my theory then?” He asked dropping his head to the point where his lips hovered over yours.

All you could do was nod as you before his lips were on yours. It was messy as your hands your tugging through his hair like you didn’t want him to ever leave you “fuck.” He grumbled feeling your teeth sink down onto his.

It was like you knew what you were doing as you smirked “even as I’ve got you ready for a good fuck you’re still acting like a fucking brat.” The college boy growled pinching your chin between his fingers as he clenched his jaw “what are you gonna so about it?” You sent him a smirk as you swore that if this was a battle, you were winning it.

Mark spoke to himself under his breath as he dropped his head to your jaw as he began planting kisses on your skin “shouldn’t even fucking treat you well.” His voice sent shivers through your ears as he continued dropping his lips down your chest “saw you looking at it.” His eyes locked onto your breast “you can touch it y’know.” You teased tugging your fingers through his hair making him groan in the process.

He wasn’t going to be told again as he latched his lips around your pierced nipple as he groaned swirling his tongue around the piece of jewellery “fuck.” You swore trying to shut your legs to relieve the tension between your thighs “you still think that I can’t make you feel good?” Mark brought his hands down to your legs making you shiver as he forced your legs open.

You chewed at your lip watching him get closer to the pool that had formed in your panties “when I speak you need to answer me princess.” You swore the hockey player growled as you nodded “know you can’t.” The tough facade you had up was hanging by a thread and it only grew weaker with how his hands grew closer to your core.

A gasp left your lips as his hand cupped your core “fuck!” Your moan was swallowed by his lips “you little liar.” Mark clicked his tongue as a wet patch formed in your panties “please.” His thumb pressed against your clit where it drew soft circles.

Your head dropped against his shoulder as your body grew soft “what do you need pretty girl?” Marks voice was soft as he left a kiss on your forehead “you.” You croaked out as he toyed with your panties finally pushing them to the side.

Mark teased you as you shook your head “want more.” You whimpered looking up at him with a pout “please.” You begged edging your cunt closer to his fingers “didn’t know that all I needed to do was fuck you to get you to shut up.” Mark sighed as he teased your slit.

His fingers took their time plunging into your cunt “god!” Your groan was swallowed by his hand “you want your brothers to hear how much you enjoy my fingers fucking your pussy?” The hockey player rasped into your ear as you shook your head.

His fingers were thick against the walls of your cunt as he curved his fingers into a come here motion “they can’t.” You mumbled growing panicked as you were reminded of how all three of your brothers were upstairs “then keep those pretty little lips shut if it’s not gonna be too hard for ya?” Mark tauted you as you mewled under his attention.

You clenched around him as you nodded finally going quiet “like having you all quiet now.” As you tilted your head up trying to bring your body closer to his Mark took the opportunity to nip at your neck “no!” You gasped as he inserted a third finger not caring about your protests.

Mark smirked as he didn’t care “think you’re in a place to make the demands?” He scoffed as he clicked his tongue “thought you were smarter than that.” The hockey player teased as you pouted “the boys are gonna see.” You complained as his eyes sharpened.

Somehow the words made his whole demeanour change “you worry what those boys are gonna think of you now?” Mark spat as he increased the pace of his fingers as he fucked your cunt “like you really gonna now care about them seeing you like the slut you’ve become f’me?” He added standing up straight as he glared at you.

Your lips remained sealed as you tried to writhe your hips against his hand “remember pretty girl you answer me when I talk to you.” The hockey player warned “I’m your slut.” The words came from your lips as it made him grow surprised.

The words made his cock grow hard against his boxers “you happy to see me or what?” You smirked feeling it press into your knee “think I need to fuck this behaviour out of you.” Mark grumbled pulling your panties down your legs as it hooked around your ankles.

You had finally pushed Mark to a point where he had snapped and he wasn’t ready to come down from it yet “fuck I don’t have a condom.” The boy complained as he hadn’t exactly thought that having sex on this trip was on the cards for him “on the pill.” You shook your head offering a counter point that he gladly took.

Being a hockey player you weren’t surprised that his cock was on the larger side of big but you had to admit that your mouth did water when he retracted his fingers from your cunt to pull his boxers down letting his boner hit his pelvic bone “you still sure that this is what you want?” Sure Mark thought you were still irritating but the even with that irritation he still believed in consent “please.” You whimpered as you bit down on your lower lip watching in awe as he pumped his cock a few times before he tapped the swollen head on your clit coating it in his precum.

There was a moment between you both that if you weren’t still so buzzed from the alcohol in your system you would have sworn that there was something that could have mirrored something romantic between you both. His lips were soft on yours as his cock slowly creeped into your cunt letting your walls stretch to accommodate him “fuck you’re perfect.” Mark gasped as he sunk his teeth into your shoulder as he kept himself from coming on the spot.

He had a few moments of just staying there with his cock frozen before you finally cleared your throat “need you to fuck me Mark.” You coughed out as the boy turned his face to look at you “please.” You didn’t need to ask twice as he nodded letting his hands grip at your hips as your legs locked behind his hips.

Even as you were outside with the breeze your skin felt like it was on fire when his eyes pierced your gaze “how many guys you let have this tight little cunt of yours?” Mark made little effort to try to avoid the fact that he was jealous of his own question when the idea of some other guy fucking you came into his mind.

As his cock throbbed in your core you struggled to stay focused ��j-just t-tw-two.” You stammered falling over your words as his thrusts became deeper “and did they make you feel this good?” Mark swore that the image of you beneath him struggling to even shake your head as your breasts bounced with each thrust that he made, would he engraved in his brain forever.

The first time you had sex was in high school when you lost it to your boyfriend of two years and you were both virgins. He came within a couple of pumps of his cock and left you there frustrated and alone as he went to shower only handing you a wet cloth before he shut the door behind himself. The other was a jock that was only sleeping with you to get the attention of an ex so the moment she came knocking on the door he went running back to her.

So if you truly thought about it Mark was your first time, not the embarrassing your overly awkward one. But your first time where you knew he was confident in what he did “didn’t come.” Even as you barely whispered those words Mark still heard you and he couldn’t help but smirk.

If anything Mark took that as a reason to quicken his thrusts as he watched your eyes roll back “gonna make you feel so fucking good then.” Your brain fog made you wonder if he was merely thinking aloud or actually talking to you “and to think that you really put up that whole act before?” The hockey players teasing tone had you clenching around him as you propped your hands up behind you to stop you from falling back.

His hand took the opportunity to slide between your bodies as he found your clit “you’re so fucking pretty when you’re so cock drunk.” The compliment came with a groan as he began toying his thumb over your clit “not gonna last.”

You warned not caring who heard your whimper that echoed from your chest.

Mark felt his thrusts grow irregular with how you cunt squeezed his cock with the new pressure your clit felt that had you wanting to press your thighs together “go make a mess doll.” There came the softest of the pet names from the night as he kissed you lips letting his hunger and pure desire to be the first guy that has you coming on their cock, take over his mind.

All that was left for you to do was listen to him as your lips let out a gaspy moan “holy fuck!” You swore as your eyes screwed shut letting white specks scattered themselves on the backs of your eyelids like stars in the night sky “breathe through it.” Mark cooed helping you on as the movements of his thumb combined with the thrusts of his cock lulled you through the brunt of your orgasm that had your legs shaking against his hips.

Before Mark could let his orgasm take charge he slid his cock out from your cunt making sure that you had come before that and he replaced the walls of your cunt with his hand “wha-” you grew confused at his abrupt movement “oh baby you have to work for me to come in you.” He grunted watching the warm sticky ropes shoot onto your stomach.

It made you whimper as you watched almost hypnotized by the sight “next time if you aren’t a fucking brat I might let you get it properly.” The hockey player explained tapping the head of his now soothing cock on your clit letting what was left in him ooze onto your slit “that was.” Your chest heaved as you swore that you had just had the hottest experience of your life.

Mark laughed as he nodded “I know.” He pecked your lips as he reached down to where your panties had fallen to and made the effort to slide them back onto you but not before the hockey player kissed your lips “think it’s time for you to go to bed.” A yawn left your lips as you nodded at his words.

He finished dressing you and even opted on helping you up the stairs before he left you tucked into your sheets where you nuzzled your head into the soft pillow “maybe you aren’t that bad Hughes.” Mark mumbled feeling his heart grow full at the sight of you blissfully drifting off to sleep.

But as he let your door softly shut after him it would seem that nothing would actually ever truly change between you both. Because at the end he was always going to be your brothers friend who pissed you off, and well you were always meant to be Luke’s hot sister.

Yet the true test that would come after this was when Mark would have to realize that you weren’t his, no he wasn’t good enough to get that right to have you under his arm at every event on campus. Instead he was destined to watch other guys fill that role one you finally grew into a more confident state.

“Since when has Rutger had a thing for little Hughes?”

#mark estapa smut #amber writes fics #ambers 500 celly #imagines #oneshots #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #umich smut #umich imagines #hockey smut

486 notes · View notes

naughtyneganjdm · 4 days ago

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Christmas in Jackson - Chapter 7

Summary: Joel grows incredibly attached to Y/N and panics that he may not be good enough for her. Through his worries, the two of them grow closer and share their second date.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Tommy Miller, Maria Miller, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61159651/chapters/160286590

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Negative Thoughts, Extensive Touching, Naked Cuddling, Smut, Oral, Unprotected P in V, etc.

Notes: I feel weird updating this when it's way past Christmas, but hey! At least I started it before Christmas lol! Thanks to those of you that read! I already have the next chapter done and ready to go up, I'm just going to give it a few days. If you'd like to read previous chapters, check them out here.

Last night was very unexpected. After discovering Joel’s broken watch for the first time, Y/N was incredibly close to being thrown out of his home. Yet, somehow, she managed to convince him to let her stay. How she was able to do that surprised even Joel himself. Waking up this morning was confusing for Joel. While he was still in pain, having Y/N sleep in his arms beside him seemed to numb that ache that had lingered for so long. Truthfully? It confused him how fast she was able to come into his life and provide him with some sense of happiness. Someone he had barely known for long was healing him in ways he never knew possible. And that was scary, but he didn’t want to run away from her.

Before they had fallen asleep last night, they just talked. Respecting his boundaries, she never pushed things too far. One thing she never did was let go of his hand, continuing to show him the support that he needed. Eventually they had fallen asleep. No one had ever put up this much effort to want to be near him or fix him. And he understood why. Mess would be an understatement when it came to him. But she saw through that and saw someone broken. Someone who was much like her that needed time to open himself up.

When he woke up, instead of waking her, he just watched her sleep. Even sleeping, she took his breath away. Although he knew she was just as broken and in as much pain as he was, she looked so peaceful. Like in her dreams it was the one escape from reality for her, whereas with him, until she came around, Joel’s dreams were often the scariest place for him.

Stroking his thumb over the back of her hand, Joel cuddled his head in closer to hers. Since the moment he woke up, all he could think about was future scenarios between them in his mind. Where this relationship was headed was a mystery even to himself. All he knew was that he was growing addicted to the way she made him feel. Now that he had it, he was consistently yearning to be near her and touched by her. And then there was that question he hated to ask himself. Was this something that could really work between them? They were two unbelievably broken people that didn’t think very highly of themselves. Yet? The world brought them together. They barely knew one another, but he had connected with her more in the days that she was there than he had anyone in years.

A gnawing thought repeated in his mind when he thought about her though. And that was the idea that he wasn’t good enough for her. Knowing what he did, Joel did consider that his past was way too dark for her. That she deserved someone better than him. Someone who could be endlessly positive for her and uplift her in ways Joel knew that he would never be able to do. At least not immediately. How could someone like her fall for someone like him when he hated himself so much to begin with? Really? He didn’t see what she saw in him.

If things did somehow work between them, there was also the thought of her going home. What would happen when she left Jackson to return to New York City? When he mentioned long distance relationships being nearly impossible, he meant it. They hardly worked out. Especially having her across the country from him. Relationships where two people lived in the same city were hard enough. How was being in a relationship with someone across the country going to work?

Deep down, he knew that he didn’t want to leave her side. She was the first person to bring warmth back into him again. More than anything, he had a need to want to be touched. To be wanted. In her, he found comfort. Most nights were agony for him. Drinking himself to sleep was maybe the only way he could avoid the atrocities that went on in his mind when he slept. Every day was hard. Waking up was miserable for him. But during the two nights she was with him? His nightmares were gone. His sleep was unbroken. While she didn’t erase all the pain he was suffering from, she made him hurt less. She helped him heal in ways he didn’t think were possible.

Lifting up slightly, Joel leaned across the bed and pressed a loving kiss at her forehead. The warmth of his kiss had her breathing growing louder, but she was still sleeping soundly when he pulled back. Carefully he unhooked his fingers from hers and unhurriedly got up from the bed. The last thing that he wanted to do was wake her up. Right now, he just wanted to get a shower in and then maybe make them something for breakfast. Some alone time with the two of them would be good for them. That way they could talk things out and see where they could go from here.

Moving around the room, Joel quietly pushed through his drawers to grab some clothes for after his shower. Once he had everything he needed, he checked on her again to make sure she was okay. Heading into the bathroom, he only partially closed the door not wanting to disrupt her sleep. Stripping down, he turned the shower on and was quick to step inside. Allowing himself to relax beneath the warm water pouring down over his body, he pressed his hands against the wall of the shower and sighed.

Still, his mind was focused solely on her. On how everything inside of him wanted Y/N. Getting her off his mind seemed pretty impossible at this point. What he wanted was consistently fighting with what his brain kept repeating. There was that fear that this wouldn’t work out. And his brain was playing that unbearable thought repeatedly. Trying to convince himself that wasn’t true was hard. For the longest time, he thought he deserved this pain. The ache that lived inside of him for so long.

Breaking him from his own thoughts, Joel heard the sound of the shower door opening. Tensing up, he listened to the sound of it close. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, his head tipped down when he felt hands caressing up over the lengths of his back toward his shoulders. Sighing loudly, he felt the warmth of another body closing the distance between them to join him underneath the spray of the water. His eyes came to a tight close, his breathing becoming broken. Loosely, arms wrapped around his torso hugging him firmly from behind. Tiny kisses were being pressed against his shoulders and it sent chills down his spine.

“What are you doing?” Joel hummed, dropping his arms down to hook his fingers with hers. Bringing her hand up, Joel deposited a kiss at the back of her hand.

“Taking a shower with you,” she alerted him, continuing her kisses.

Considering his options, Joel swallowed down hard and turned to face her. His chest was rising and falling with his breathing growing louder. Letting out a long exhale, Joel noticed her gaze lowered down to get her first glance at his naked body. Not knowing how to respond, he just stood there.

“You’re beautiful,” Joel blurt out, taking the time to do the same as she was him, gazing upon the lengths of her naked form standing before him. Just seeing her like that had his heartbeat quickening inside of his chest. It made his throat go dry. Hearing his compliment made her smile with her eyes raising back up to meet his longing stare. Biting down on his bottom lip, he nervously stepped forward and hooked his arm loosely around her waist. Bringing them together, Joel nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck with her caressing at his shoulders. Their wet skin pressed together and he liked the way it felt. “I’m sorry this wasn’t more romantic.”

“The shower?” she teased him, stroking her fingers at the bottom of his neck.

“Seeing each other naked for the first time,” Joel commented, his head tipping back enough so he could stare down at her. “I know you want something more romantic than this and…”

“I’m the one that came into the shower unannounced,” she reminded him, dragging her fingers through his wet hair. Joel smirked knowing that she was right and he gave her a firm nod. “I hope you’re not disappointed.”

“In you?” he muttered, his fingertips tracing down the length of her back to settle in right above her bottom. “Never. You’re perfect. You take my breath away.”

How she looked at him when he said that showed that she was impressed with hearing that. It made her smile and he loved seeing her smile. Tipping up on her toes, she placed her hand in over the center of his chest. Meeting her lips in a lingering kiss, Joel felt his breath catch in his throat with her breasts pressing in against his chest when she reached around him for the shampoo.

Opening the bottle, she squeezed some of it into her hand before setting the bottle aside. Reaching up, she started to lather it into his hair eliciting a deep rumble of a laugh from him, “What are you doing?”

“I’m shampooing your hair,” she gave him a weak smile enjoying the laugh that he let out. Mirroring her, Joel did something similar with his forehead pressing to hers afterwards.

Wrapping her up in his arms, Joel pulled her close and let the water spray down in over them to rinse their hair. Burying his head against the side of her neck, Joel sighed loudly and started to speak, “I want you to know that for the first time in a long time, I actually look forward to waking up.”

Pressing her hand in over the center of his chest, she leaned back and met his dark eyes, “I used to get angry every time I would wake up in the morning. Hoping that each day would be my last, but today? I was happy when I opened my eyes and saw that you were there.”

“I know how you feel,” she confessed, lifting up enough to start kissing in over his freckle covered shoulder. Closing his eyes tightly, Joel continued to caress his hands in over her body. What could have been a very sexual experience between them was more so tender and sweet instead. “That’s why I came here.”

“I know,” Joel acknowledged, depositing affectionate kisses at her shoulder and up over the side of her neck. “And that’s what worries me. I’ve never been good at life. I’ve always fucked up and I don’t want to hurt you anymore than you are already hurting.”

“Let’s not worry about the future,” she decided, reaching for the soap. Motioning Joel to turn the other way, she caressed the bar of soap across his chest having his breathing growing louder. “Let’s worry about right now. How we make each other feel in the moment.”

There was so much he could have said and maybe should have said, but she was right. Worrying about the future in a moment like this was silly. For so long he was so worried about the past or the future. Right now? He needed to live in the moment. Together, they lathered the other up in soap, taking their time to touch every part of each other. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t affect him in certain ways and that was becoming fairly evident.

“Sorry,” Joel huffed, attempting to lower his hands to cover himself knowing that his body was showing that this was effecting him more than it maybe should have. “I’m not trying to.”

“I’m not offended,” she assured him with a long exhale, her eyes dropping down and a smirk tugging at her lips. “I find it to be a compliment and I like what I see.”

“Well, I didn’t doubt that,” Joel’s voice deepened causing her to let out an amused laugh at the arrogance that shined through with his comment. Even though Joel was shy and somewhat reserved, he never had a problem stating that he thought he was impressive. “What? I’m not trying to be arrogant…”

“Don’t worry about it,” she reached for his hands pulling him in closer to her to pepper kisses over his lips. What she didn’t want was him hiding himself from her. “I would be bigheaded too if I looked like you and had that between my legs.”

“Well, at some point you might have it between your legs,” he snickered when she swatted at his chest provoking him to snort and nuzzle his nose in against hers. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve smiled or laughed this much.”

“Hmm…” she hummed, stealing kiss after kiss from his lips. “Then we will just have to keep you smiling and laughing. See how much more we can get you to do it.”

Going to kiss him again, she paused when what sounded like the front door being thrown open downstairs was heard. Her face scrunched up and she looked to Joel with a sense of worry. Instead of being worried, Joel appeared to be annoyed. Groaning out, Joel tipped his head back and rolled his eyes, “It’s Tommy. He never announces himself, he just comes right in. He lives across the street…”

“Across the street?” she mused with Joel dramatically bobbing his head about. Turning off the shower, Joel got out first and then helped her out before wrapping her up in the first towel that he grabbed. The way he held onto her and helped dry her body was very affectionate. “At least we weren’t trying to do something sexual that time.”

“Well before he makes his way up here, I suggest we get dressed because we are naked together,” Joel reminded her with a grunt working to dry his body as fast as he could. Tossing the towel in the hamper, he stumbled to work his way into his clothes. “This is a Tommy thing though. He has no understanding of privacy.”

Grunting, Joel heard the sound of Tommy calling out his name and Joel reached for his shirt to haphazardly put it on, “I’ll go out there. You take your time.”

“Wait,” she called out to him getting Joel to almost trip when he turned on his heel to come back. Moving in, she peppered a few kisses over Joel’s lips pulling forth a small rumble of a growl from him. “I just wanted to do that. You can leave now.”

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked, stealing one final kiss. Heading out of the bathroom and down the stairs, Joel heard Tommy going through things in his kitchen. Stepping into the room, Joel paused when Tommy was helping himself to Joel’s coffee machine. “Have you never heard of calling before?”

“I’m just making us some coffee you cranky son bitch,” Tommy huffed, finishing with what he was doing. Putting things back where they went, Tommy turned to face Joel while Joel finished buttoning together his shirt. Folding his arms in front of his chest, Joel leaned back to rest against the wall opposite of Tommy. Waiting, he expected something from his brother who just stared out at him. “I want to drop something by you.”

“You always do,” Joel noted with a scoff, stealing a quick back look to see if that Y/N was moving around the house yet. When he saw nothing he assumed she was still gathering herself in the bathroom. “Make it quick, I’m busy.”

“You’re always busy doing nothin’,” Tommy frowned, waving his hand about like he didn’t believe Joel. “I just wanted to let you know that I invited Y/N to the resort today with us. I know you two had a falling out the other day, but…”

“Tommy,” Joel shook his head, attempting to interrupt his brother but Tommy started moving around the kitchen again searching for something.

“I know Joel, you don’t like me putting my nose in your business and everything, but…” Tommy found a bag of snacks that Joel had put away in one of the cabinets. Instead of asking, Tommy just opened the bag and started eating it. Behind him, Joel could hear movement which meant that Y/N was moving out and about. “I’m just telling you Joel, I think the two of you are good for one another. I know things have been rough when it’s come to your love life, but this girl? I think she’s special.”

“Oh, you do?” Joel’s eyebrow arched in response, his head turning to the side to see that she was approaching the kitchen. Motioning her to wait, Joel knew that Tommy wouldn’t be able to see her and it allowed her to listen to the conversation.

“I really like her Joel. She brings out the best in you,” Tommy admitted with a mouthful of the snack he had stolen from Joel. “You always look so damn grumpy and while I love you big brother, it’s been nice getting a nicer version of you when she’s around.”

“I see,” Joel breathed out, adjusting his positioning with Tommy continuing to ramble on.

“Maria and I really like her,” Tommy stated, shoving his hand back into the bag to grab a handful. Shoving the food into his mouth, Tommy scoffed when Joel’s eyebrows bounced up. “We do! And I think she’s a good influence on you. With some work I think the two of you could really be good for one another.”

“Well Tommy, if you’d let me talk,” Joel began, his hand outstretching toward Y/N hinting to her that he wanted her to join him.

“When you talk nothing good ever really comes from it, I know,” Tommy had set the snack aside, going back to the cabinets to search for some mugs for them with the coffee. “I talked to her yesterday and I just really think she someone that can…”

“Tommy,” Joel exclaimed when she moved in beside him, taking his hand firmly in hers.

“Joel, you just have to stop being stubborn about this. I’m thinking about your wellbeing and hers,” Tommy’s voice got louder evoking an annoyed breath from Joel with Tommy being so oblivious. “She came here looking to feel better and you haven’t been well in a very long time. And who knows? You might end up getting laid if you play your cards right. Her being a doctor and all I’m sure she’d know the best ways to make you come. A lot of the men in town have been talking about what she said that night at the bar and…” Tommy turned on his heel, his dark eyes growing wide when he saw that Joel was standing where he was previously with Y/N beside him. Loudly gulping, Tommy let out a nervous breath and set the mugs aside. “Well shit.”

“You’re good at making an ass of yourself baby brother,” Joel told his brother with an entertained sound, turning his attention to Y/N who was surprised to hear that from Tommy. Especially since Tommy seemed like the innocent one whenever she was around him.

“You both are wet,” Tommy pointed out, his dark eyes gazing between the two of them. After a moment, he snickered and gave them a thumbs up. “Congrats on the sex then?”

“Tommy,” Joel snapped at his little brother glad that she seemed to be amused with Tommy’s antics instead of offended. “We didn’t sleep together.”

“Up all night then?” Tommy responded causing a gasp to fall from Y/N’s throat that turned into an amused bout of laughter. “No offense. I heard what you said at the bar that night from other people. Joel looks better today than he did the last time I saw him and I just thought…”

“Here I was thinking you were innocent,” she used her free hand to place it in over her chest, feigning being offended by what he was saying. “I thought Tommy Miller was the sweet, innocent and pure one.”

“I told you that you were biased because he was nice to you,” Joel brought back something he had said the other night at the bar. “Not that it’s any of your business Tommy, but we haven’t had sex. At all.”

“But you stayed the night,” Tommy confirmed with a big smile seeing the nod that both of them gave him. Grabbing himself a cup of coffee, Tommy returned his attention to them and slurped at his drink. “Tell me everything.”

“I’d rather not,” Joel decided hearing the sound of the door opening again eliciting him to groan out. This unfortunately was normal for him, but he knew that it might be something that made Y/N uncomfortable and that made him nervous. “And there is Maria.”

“I hope you figured something out here because I tried to call the front desk and see how Y/N was honey, but apparently they haven’t seen her since last night,” Maria announced cornering the hallway toward the kitchen. When her sight fell upon Joel and Y/N together, her eyes grew big with a pleasant sense of surprise. “Hey! She’s here.”

“She’s here,” Tommy sounded funny in the way he said it, biting down on his bottom lip when Maria moved into the kitchen with them. “Stayed the night too.”

“Oh!” Maria clearly thought that meant sex and it had Joel embarrassed. Dropping his head down, Joel used his free hand to rub at his messy hair and he muttered a few things under his breath.

“No sex though,” Tommy educated Maria on what he had learned right before she had walked in.

“Tommy!” Joel yelled at him, getting Y/N to giggle at their interaction. Taking the time to gather himself, Joel winced and swallowed down hard. “Now that you both are here, I think it’s a good time to apologize. I reckon I really upset you the other night with my actions and I’m sorry. Congratulations on the baby and I want nothing but the best things for y’all.”

“Told you she was good for him,” Tommy whispered, snickering with the glare that Joel gave him. Approaching Joel, Maria held her arms out and it was the first time Joel let go of Y/N. Hugging Maria, Joel seemed uncomfortable and it was obvious. Even though Joel was an incredibly touch starved person, it was evident he had a hard time being personable with those around him. “I think this is gonna be a beautiful day. Don’t you?”

“You’re pushing it,” Joel warned with a grunt, his face scrunching up with his brother being so over the top about things. Grumbling something under his breath, Joel noticed the amusement in Tommy’s features when Y/N reached up to caress over the center of his shoulders to calm him.

“Does this mean you are going with us today?” Tommy took another long sip of his coffee giving his attention fully to Y/N.

“I thought it stormed last night,” she remembered the snowstorm that had kept her in the city of Jackson, which she was ultimately thankful for. “Doesn’t that mean we should stay in?”

“Ah, that doesn’t mean much,” Maria waved her hand about dismissing her worries about how the streets would be if there was a snowstorm. “The bigger storm is coming tonight. The nice thing about Jackson is that the people here are very good about keeping the streets plowed.”

“I would have to make a trip to the inn because I have nothing here,” she alerted them, looking down to what she was wearing knowing that it was still Joel’s clothes that she was in. “I really don’t even know what I would need to wear to something like that.”

“Well you’re in luck because I have plenty of things across the street at our house that should help you out,” Maria suggested, stepping forward holding her hand out to Y/N who looked to Joel for confirmation.

“If I’m going, you’re going…” he sighed loudly, shrugging his shoulders when he spoke. Accepting Maria’s hand, Joel felt Tommy moving in beside him with Maria heading toward the front door with Y/N at her side.

“I can’t help but notice she’s wearing your clothes,” Tommy noted, clearing his throat with Joel’s head turning ever so slightly. With an arch of his right eyebrow, Tommy took another long sip of his coffee. “So you haven’t had sex, but the two of you have been naked around one another?”

“No one is a better cock block than you little brother,” Joel reached out to pat Tommy firmly on the shoulder. Grunting out, Joel turned on his heel and went to go grab himself some coffee. Hopefully his family didn’t scare Y/N away with them constantly inserting themselves in their lives.

----

“You look pale,” Joel commented, stepping beside Y/N while they stood in line to get on the gondola with Tommy and Maria. After Maria helped prepare her for today, they had breakfast together and then met their friends and Maria’s family at the resort. Some of them split up to go skiing or snowboarding, but Joel was aware that she was scared of that so they went in another direction. Reaching out, he placed his hands in over her shoulders feeling her tense beneath his touch. “Trust me, this is fine. It’s not that bad.”

Nothing was said, she just gave him a small nod as he stepped in closer to her from behind. It was freezing today, even with the clothing that Maria had given her. She wasn’t used to spending her time outside in the snow. Especially with how cold it was here. Most of her days were spent inside of a hospital building so this was entirely new for her.

“It will just be the four of us and we all know how you feel about heights,” Joel whispered, caressing at her shoulders trying to calm her down. “It’s never too high from the ground.”

“It just goes up that massive mountain,” she noted provoking a faint laugh to escape Joel’s throat. Stepping in closer, Joel wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck. Chills flooded down her spine with the contrast between the cold air and the warmth of Joel’s breath against her skin. “You have to understand this is very hard for me.”

“These last few days have been nothing but us doing things that are very hard for us,” Joel reminded her, urging her to turn in his arms. Caressing in over her arms, Joel dropped his hands and hooked his gloved fingers with hers. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise you, I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“This is us,” Tommy motioned them forward with Joel urging her onto the gondola with him. While this was her first time and he wanted her sitting on the side where she would see the view of the city going up, he also knew that she wouldn’t want to be near the doors so he positioned her appropriately. Sitting across from them, Maria and Tommy got comfortable. When they got a look at her, it was obvious she was pretty nervous. “This just takes us up to the top of the mountain. There is an area where you can observe things, hang out. You are gonna be okay.”

“Exactly. And if you get too uncomfortable, we can come right back down,” Joel promised, hooking his arm around her shoulders hearing her breathing broken. Almost as if she was trembling but doing her best to hide her fear. “I promise you, we won’t let anything happened to you.”

“If you look, the city looks pretty down below. You’ll get to see how big it actually is,” Maria looked over her shoulder, pointing in the direction of where everything was.

“This was one of my favorite things to do when we first got to town,” Tommy explained noticing that she was hooked on the doors that were still open while the gondola was moving. “They close, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“You all are being very nice to me, but I promise you this is not a thing that really calms down for me,” she tensed up when they started going higher up the mountain with the doors coming to a close. Tensing up beneath Joel, she heard his chuckle follow and he hushed her. “I’m sorry, it’s just something that’s always been there.”

“How in God’s name did you end up getting on that plane to get here?” Joel wondered, his head tipping to the side with her so ill at ease beside him. “You’re so afraid of heights, but you managed to get on the plane from New York to get here.”

“I was a mess,” she assured him, trying to dissociate herself from the moment they were in. Even though they were right, it was a very beautiful sight, it was hard for her to really let go of that fear of heights. “There was some medicine involved, that’s for sure.”

“Darlin’,” Joel slurred, his gloved finger curling in underneath her chin to get her to look at him. Having her eyes hooking on his, Joel gave her a confident nod. “We’re just going to take this up and when we get there you and I are going to hang out at the top. Enjoy the views. Then we will get back on and come down. Do some other things and then figure out the rest of our day. Okay? I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Hearing him talking to her like that was nice, but in most cases she would have never put herself in a position like this, “You trust me, right?”

“Yeah?” she swallowed down hard with Joel urging her to rest her head against his shoulder. Having him comforting her like that did calm her slightly while the gondola continued to rise. Tommy and Maria were turned staring down at the city and she could see why someone would like this. It made the world look small. Seeing things from this perspective helped you realize how small you were in such a big world.

Turning her head in closer to Joel, she had kept her eyes closed for a significant amount of the ride up the mountain. Yes, things were beautiful, but she had gotten the view and she felt more comfortable with her eyes closed having Joel holding onto her. Hearing the movement of Tommy and Maria let her know that they had reached the top and she opened her eyes again.

She’d be lying if she said that she wasn’t nervous about how high up they were right now, but she just kept her head down and followed Joel off of the gondola. What was nice was that Joel held onto her hand the whole time while he talked his plans out with Maria and Tommy who were headed in another direction.

“Alright, come on,” Joel tugged at her hand, leading her toward an area that felt like an overlook of the town. Stepping toward the edge had her uncomfortable, but Joel hushed her and moved in behind her hooking his arms around her waist. “I’m right here with you. And I won’t let you go. You have to learn to relax.”

“It’s easier said than done,” she pointed out seeing that there were children that had no problem doing what they were doing. They were in awe of the views they were getting, but for her it was a lot harder being able to calm down after a life of having this fear.

“I know,” Joel agreed with her, smiling against the side of her face when she dropped her hands down to grab a hold of his. “Look at it this way, this is our second date, right?”

“Date?” she looked over her shoulder at him, surprised to hear that Joel was confirming anything with them as official. “When was our first?”

“You didn’t think that day with the snowmobiling was our first date?” Joel countered, his face scrunching up with the line at the bridge of his nose becoming more prominent. “I thought that was pretty obvious that it was our first date.”

“So now we’re considering the time that we spend together as dates?” she stammered, her heart skipping a beat at the idea of Joel talking about them in the sense that they were actually doing some kind of dating between the two of them.

“Would you rather me not?” Joel teased with a laugh, shaking his head when he motioned her to follow him over toward an area where no one else was. Lowering down in the snow, Joel motioned her to take a seat with him and when she did he grabbed a hold of her hand again. They were looking out onto the town that seemed so incredibly small from where they were at. “This is nice. Since I moved here, I’ve been the third wheel during the holidays. My brother is always insistent on including me in things, but being the third wheel has never really been fun. I just usually went through the motions.”

“How long have you been here?” she wondered, surprised that Joel was actually opening up to her. Shifting beside her, Joel seemed uncomfortable with the idea of talking about himself and she sighed loudly. “I got on that gondola for you. It’s only right that you start opening up to me.”

“I’ve been here a few years,” Joel responded looking away from her to gaze back over the city again. Staring out at him, she wondered if she would ever be able to learn more about his past. “Tommy was here for a while before I showed up.”

“And you moved from Texas?” she thought back to what she knew about Joel at this point, which really wasn’t that much. Truthfully? She knew more about Tommy, but she knew that she was going to do her best to have Joel open up to her.

“No, I came from Boston,” Joel corrected her, shaking his head and swallowing down hard. “Both Tommy and I left Texas at the same time. We both wanted to start a life somewhere else for a while and we needed some space from one another.”

Well, that was not something that Tommy told her in their time together, “We lived most of our lives in Texas. I was born in Arlington and then we moved to Austin. He traveled for a bit before he ended up here. I ended up in Boston. Now? I’m here.”

“Oh,” she nodded her head about, clearing her throat when she looked back down toward the small town she was staying in. “That was very vague by the way.”

“I’m a very vague kind of person,” Joel explained to her, his dark eyes full of a certain emotion that she couldn’t read. “I don’t know what to tell you Y/N. I’m not exactly the person that wants to be open about my life before I was here. There are several different versions of me, the one I want you to know is the one that is here. The Jackson Joel. Not the Boston or Texas Joel.”

“But the Boston and Texas version of you still made you who you were today,” she reminded Joel with a tight squeeze of her fingers around his. “And I really like the Joel that you are right now. So…”

“Good things didn’t happen in Boston and Texas hun,” Joel’s voice was raspy, his southern drawl growing deeper. “Things that I’m not proud of and things that…really hurt me. I understand that you are going to have a curiosity about it and I don’t blame you, but it’s nothing worth recounting. Okay?”

“Okay,” she whispered knowing that was Joel’s way of pretty much telling her that he was never going to be open with her about his past. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Joel hushed her, his dark eyes narrowing as he locked his eyes with hers. “I understand that it’s natural to learn more about someone when you first meet them, but my past hurts me. And I don’t want to let it do that when I’m with you. The most I can tell you is that I grew up in Texas. My parents died when I was young. I took care of Tommy and had a lot on my hands. I was married at one point. It didn’t work out. I was a contractor in Texas. I left Texas. Went to Boston to try something new. It didn’t work there either. So I’m here now and I own an inn with my brother.”

Giving a small nod, she cleared her throat and knew that wasn’t very much to know about a person, “Are you a sports fan?”

“I am,” Joel cleared his throat noticing the smirk that tugged at her lips. “I played football when I was younger. I can’t imagine being American and not loving football.”

“Are you a fan of the Texas teams?” she wondered, her eyes gazing upon Joel who huffed. “Because if you are, I feel really bad for you. Those Dallas Cowboys are trash.”

“Now hold on a minute,” Joel held his hand up to hush her, waving his hand and chuckling when he heard her laughing. “I was just starting to like you.”

“I’m just speaking the truth. If the two of us are going to be spending time together, you’re going to have to know my opinion on that team,” she wanted to lighten the mood having Joel smirk when she poked playfully at his ribs. “I will not hold back on ribbing you for your sports teams.”

“Dick,” Joel scoffed under his breath causing the both of them to laugh. Taking a minute to think about things, Joel leaned in to rest his head in against hers. “Thank you for not pushing me. I know that you are curious and I don’t blame you. But there are just parts of me that I don’t like. I want you to see me for me. Not for my past.”

Hearing that made her feel guilty because she was so curious about his life. There was a huge part of Joel’s life that he was keeping from her, but she knew that he didn’t want to be open about it. So she would have to learn to accept what Joel was willing to share with her.

Together they walked around for a while getting to see the sights at the resort. Eventually, Joel convinced her to ride the winter coaster that was there. The idea of riding a roller coaster in the middle of the winter didn’t exactly appeal to her, especially since she was afraid of heights, but Joel insisted that it was something she needed to see.

“It’s not that bad. It’s a single rider. I’ll go either before you or after you. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable. You just sit down, they put a belt on you and then the lever determines how fast or slow you go. Pushing forward makes you go faster, pulling back makes you go slower. The first part is automatic until you get to the top,” Joel went over the process of things with her and she nodded her head. Yeah, she was listening, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t scared shitless about the idea of this whole thing.

Again, this really wasn’t something that she would eagerly do if she wasn’t with Joel. What she was doing was experiencing these things to appease Joel. Maybe this was for the best for her because Joel was opening her up to things that she wouldn’t usually do. In the last few days she had lived more than she had in the last few years. So that’s why she agreed to do this.

“You can go first,” she pushed Joel in front of her when they got to the front of the line causing both the employee in charge along with Joel to laugh.

“She’s a little nervous,” Joel informed the teen that was helping them with the coaster. “Take care of her, will you?”

“I promise,” the boy assured Joel with a confident nod. He helped Joel get prepared first before heading over to Y/N to lead her to her seat. Helping her get her seatbelt on, he gave her the same instructions that Joel had, but it truthfully didn’t prepare her for this. When it was her turn, the boy gave her a thumbs up and a weak smile. “Hey, look at it this way. If you were to fall off, there is so much snow that you would just fall into the snow. So you’d probably be okay.”

“Oh, well that’s really helpful,” she was sarcastic in her response, but the boy actually thought she was being serious and gave her a big cheesy smile. When she started moving up the track, her whole body tensed but she knew that Joel was right. She needed to learn how to relax. Truthfully, this was pretty loud with the cable pulling her up the track. The one nice thing about Jackson is that everywhere you looked, there was something beautiful to see. So she would have to focus on that part of everything because if she focused on her fear of heights she knew that she would be a mess this whole ride. Really, it wasn’t that fast. It was just the idea of things that made her uneasy. “Shit.”

With every second the ride seemed to get higher and higher up this mountain which made her ill at ease. Joel had told her that it was automatic until it got to the top which meant it had to go up a bit. Right now? She actually felt crazier going on this thing than she did on the gondola. At least on the gondola, they were closed in. Here she was on a track in a single riding cart and she was a mess. With no Joel to try to calm her down.

Thankfully it wasn’t a typical roller coaster that would do crazy movements, but something that just went up the mountain and down with a few circular loops along the way. If there were any parts of a ride that went upside down, she was certain that she would have run away. No matter how much she liked Joel. There were some fears that were just too hard to let go of. Even though Joel had made her do a lot of things that she wouldn’t typically do in the first place.

Trying to focus on the beauty of things, she really couldn’t help but be in awe of the mountains that surrounded her. It really was an amazing sight. If anything, she couldn’t deny the beauty of Jackson. Even if this wasn’t what she was used to.

Finally reaching the top, there was a sign telling the rider to smile for a photo and really, she was clinging so hard to the lever beside her even though it was useless at this point. Smiling wasn’t really something she wanted to do. Instead she gave probably the worst grin of her life hearing that the ride was about to be in her hands instead of automatic.

Pushing the lever forward, she debated whether she wanted to take the ride slow or fast. Fast meant she got it done faster, slow meant it would go on forever. The only rule was that you couldn’t crash into other carts. And right now? No one was around so she would be fine. It was like ripping off a Band-Aid in her mind. The faster she went, the quicker the ride was over and the less she would have to be afraid. The only problem? It went faster than she expected it to.

There were plenty of twists and turns and for someone that liked this kind of thing, it probably would have been a baby ride for them. For her? It had every muscle in her body tensing up. Along with the cold, it brought forth some cramps for her that she honestly wasn’t prepared for, but she kept the lever pushed forward to go faster.

When a steep curve came up, she felt the pit of her stomach sinking with how fast she took it and there was a sense of regret that she chose to go faster rather than slow around the bends. And then there came a bigger drop. With the drop there was another action camera that took a picture of her and really she couldn’t picture what she looked like. She was up higher on the ride, it was going fast and she was uncomfortable. Even if it was beautiful and it was something completely new for her, this wasn’t her favorite thing in the world. Could she get used to it? Maybe, but for her first time, she wasn’t having it.

When she finally reached the end of the ride, she pulled the cart to a stop and was thankful that it was over. Looking to the time she saw that overall the thing was about seven minutes, but truthfully? It felt much longer than that.

Joel was standing by the side waiting for her with a big cheesy smile on his face when she approached him, “That was a lot of fun, right? A rollercoaster in the middle of the winter? I bet you won’t find a lot of things like that in New York.”

“So much fun,” she grunted through a fake smile causing Joel to burst out in laughter because he was picking up on her lack of enthusiasm. “I’m sorry, I’m just a fucking mess when it comes to heights. You have to realize that I like you because I wouldn’t do this for anyone you know.”

“I reckon I acknowledge that,” Joel admitted, wrapping his arm loosely around her shoulders. Leading her into the building where they had the screen of photos from the ride, Joel tried to hold back on his laugh when he saw the photos they took of her. “Oh honey, you can tell that you are absolutely loving it. We should buy these.”

“Don’t,” she warned him, poking him in the ribs when she realized that he was making fun of her. In the photos she looked very tense whereas in Joel’s photos he just looked absolutely ridiculous. Part of her knew that he had acted out in order to make her laugh when they looked at them. “Who knew you had so much personality.”

“Oh, I’m good when you get me going,” Joel pulled her in closer to him to make it easier for him to place a kiss at her temple. “Just wait until you really get to know me.”

Together they did a few more things before meeting up with Maria and Tommy again to have some dinner. With Maria’s family, Tommy was planning on staying at the resort longer so Joel suggested he take Y/N back to the inn, but instead of just going immediately back they went for a walk around town.

“How do you survive in New York City being so afraid of heights?” Joel wondered, pulling her in closer to him while they walked in the snow together. When Tommy told her it was supposed to storm tonight, he wasn’t lying. The snowfall was heavy and even in the small amount of time they had been walking, it was really coming down. “With all those high-rise buildings, I can’t see how you love it there so much.”

“Well, I live in a brownstone which isn’t that tall and I work in a hospital. I don’t have to deal with the tall buildings that much. And when I do? I just don’t approach the windows,” she explained to Joel, her hand pressing in over his abdomen enjoying the closeness of the two of them. Joel had no problem having her near him today and she really liked that he constantly was either holding her hand or having his arm around her. “It’s not so much heights I’m afraid of. I think they are beautiful, but it’s the idea of falling to my death that scares the hell out of me. You aren’t scared of anything?”

“Can’t say that I am,” Joel admitted, thinking about the question and shaking his head. “I don’t mean to sound negative, but when you spend most of your life questioning why you are still here, you don’t really think about dying in a negative light.”

“Well that’s grim,” she frowned, lifting her head up to look up at him with big eyes and he sighed loudly. “I’m sorry life has been that way for you. No one should have to live their life thinking like that. I’m scared of so many things.”

“I guess that’s why we work together. You level out the things that I don’t have,” Joel suggested, pointing in the direction of a small shop. “How about we get some hot chocolate to warm up before heading back toward the inn?”

“Sounds good,” she agreed with him, allowing him to buy her a hot chocolate when he insisted on it. In fact, he was pretty proud of it when he handed it over to her. Continuing their walk, she actually found herself getting used to this place and the simplicity of it. “I was like that for a while.”

“Like what?” Joel huffed after taking a sip of his drink, giving her his full attention when they walked through town square first to get a look at the lights that were up.

“Where I didn’t care about things,” she thought back, tipping her head from side to side. “But then I think I started to panic the more I was around death. When I lost that patient, I think the idea of dying hit me pretty hard because that’s it. Once you’re gone, you’re gone. But I don’t think it really hit me in the right ways because I kept doing what I always did instead of living life.”

Swallowing down hard, Joel felt uncomfortable thinking about his past again, but he just simply nodded not wanting to insert himself into her thoughts, “Being here is the most I’ve lived in a very long time. Even if you are making me do crazy things.”

“They really aren’t that crazy in terms of what you are making them out to be,” Joel teased her, nudging her softly with his hip. An offended breath escaped her making him snicker at the expression she gave him. “I mean it’s really not. That coaster wasn’t much today and the gondola was never that far off the ground. Getting on that airplane to get here had to be scarier. I came here, I know they are smaller. If you stick around here long enough, then you will get used to the minor things.”

That was something she really hadn’t thought about. How long she was going to be spending here. Especially since her job was rather important and she already had people at the hospital trying to contact her about when she was coming back.

“I like how laid back things are here,” she changed the subject finding herself sad at the idea of having to leave Jackson. In the distance there were a few children building a snowman and it made her smile. They were taking advantage of the world around them right now. “Things feel simpler here.”

“That’s why I moved here,” Joel confessed, letting out a long exhale when they made their way out of the town square and started to walk in a different direction to get back to the inn. Passing the large church that they had, she could see that some of the children were together having a snowball fight. “It had my brother, which obviously I wanted to be near, but things move slower here and people care less.”

“Oh, I don’t think people care less. I think they are the type of people that want to know everything,” she interrupted his thought process knowing how singled out she felt when she first came to town. “I’d say people are more eager to get into your business here than they are in New York City.”

“You get what I mean,” Joel grumbled under his breath, stopping for a moment to turn and stare out at her. “Everything moves so fast in the other places. Here, you can take the time to enjoy the little things. Even if I don’t do a whole lot of enjoying things in my life.”

Grunting out, Joel felt a firm smack to the back of his head that was followed by Y/N bursting out in laughter. Reaching back, he realized that he had just been hit with a snowball that someone threw at him. Gazing over his shoulder, Joel noticed one of the children holding onto a snowball and when they saw Joel they swiftly dropped it back onto the ground.

“Oh, uh, hey there Mr. Miller,” the little boy waved his hand in the air nervously with Joel turning to face him. “I didn’t see you there. At all. Are you enjoying your day?”

A moment later another round of snowballs were being thrown at Joel from where he was standing from children that were hiding behind the playground set that they had stopped in front of. Swiftly moving out of the way, she heard Joel scoff when each one of the snowballs hit Joel.

With a hearty laugh, the little boy that had originally caught Joel’s attention ran off and dodged down behind the wooden ship that was built on the playground. It was then she realized a few of them were the children that were in Joel’s class that she had seen him teaching.

“You wanna launch an attack on me?” Joel’s voice changed, his free hand pointing toward the center of his chest. Giving a firm nod, Joel finished off the hot chocolate that he had gotten himself and was quick to throw the cup away. “Alright. You asked for this.”

Reaching down to grab a handful of snow, Joel balled it up and when one of the children popped up to steal a glance Joel threw it at them causing them to burst out in laughter when it hit them. A moment later a bunch of snowballs were being thrown at Joel who was attempting to dodge them.

“Would you help me here? It’s at least eight on one,” Joel scoffed, scrambling to move behind one of the slides that was on the playground for cover. It had been years since she had done anything like this, but she finished off her drink and joined Joel. Hearing the laughter of both Joel and the children was fun while they had this snowball fight. One thing it did was show her a different side to Joel that she didn’t realize was there. A softer, sweeter side to him that was visibly more playful and sillier. Trying to run away, Joel hit a patch of ice that had him slipping and pulling Y/N down in the snow with him. Groaning out, Joel laughed as she landed on top of him. “I think we lost.”

“Safe to assume,” she laughed, dropping her head down in over Joel’s chest when the original boy approached them.

“You okay Mr. Miller? Do we need to call you an ambulance?” he blurt out with Joel bursting out in laughter. Shaking his head, Joel gave him a thumbs up and then the boy went off to continue to play with the other children.

“Nothing like a child making you feel old,” Joel alerted her, exhaling loudly with her tipping back to stare down at him. Even though it was cold, his heart skipped a beat with the way that her hand palmed in over the side of his face. When her eyes narrowed and he felt her sweeping her thumb over his temple, he released a broken breath knowing that’s where one of his scars were.

“It’s okay,” she hushed him, tipping her head to the side allowing him to see that she had a similar type of scar in the area that he did. “I got mine in the crash when I was a kid. I’ve done a lot to try to cover it up, but it’s always there.”

Lifting up, Joel urged her to lean in closer to him so he could press a lingering kiss in over the area where her scar was. Swallowing down hard, her hand pressed in over the center of his chest to brace herself when he dropped his head back into the snow.

“Joel,” she paused, lowering down just enough to hover her lips in over his. A tremoring breath escaped Joel with his eyelids growing heavy. “Do you want to go back to my room with me?”

“Yeah,” Joel decided with a slur, nodding his head with his lips parting. “I do.”

Standing up slowly, she helped him get to his feet and grabbed a hold of his hand leading him back toward the inn. Nervously, Joel followed her through the streets until they reached the inn. Taking the stairs up, she had Joel trailing not far behind her as they made their way toward her suite. Getting into the room made her realize that she was shaking with her trying to get in. By the time she had the door open, Joel was eagerly following her not far behind.

Before she could even get the door closed, Joel was pressing her back against it getting the door to slam shut with the weight of her body falling back. Trapping her between him and the door, Joel’s mouth hovered in over hers before stealing a hungry kiss from her lips. Curling her fingers around the back of Joel’s neck, she whimpered with Joel’s hands cupping her face firmly.

Reaching up, she was eager to push Joel’s thick winter coat from his body hearing the loud thud of it hitting the ground when she managed to get it down. Working with hers had both her and Joel fumbling to get it off when it got stuck near the wrist area. Through kisses, they were both laughing with their troubles but were still so eager to keep kissing one another.

A relieved breath fell from Joel’s lips with a tiny snort when they finally did get the jacket off of her. Tipping her head back allowed Joel’s head to tip to the side with his tongue brushing out between her parted lips. The damp heat caressing in against her tongue sent chills throughout her body. The taste of the hot chocolate still lingered over Joel’s mouth leaving her with a sweet taste that made her smile when they separated.

Motioning her to wait a minute had her gasping with Joel reaching down to help her pull her boots off. It had her clinging to him with both of them laughing as she attempted not to fall. Joel was quick to pull his off as well until she reached for his hand to lead him toward the bedroom. Standing at the center of her bedroom, Joel swallowed down hard when she stepped before him.

There were no words spoken, but Joel let out an anxious breath when she stepped forward and started to unbutton his plaid shirt. Taking her time, she kept her eyes locked on his, enjoying the way his breathing grew louder. Pushing her fingers up underneath the material, she managed to get it down over his arms. Allowing the material to fall from his body, Joel’s eyelids grew heavy with want when he felt her drawing circles over the center of his chest.

Bunching up the material of his t-shirt, she was slow in the way that she pulled it up Joel’s body. What was surprising for Joel was just how much this was effecting him. He was trembling and his breathing was loud. This wasn’t normal for him. Sex was sex. But whatever was going on between them? It was something that he couldn’t quite get his mind wrapped around.

Sucking in a sharp breath of air, Joel tipped his head back when she got his t-shirt up over the center of his chest and started pressing tender kisses at the revealed skin. Lifting his hands, he pressed them in over her hips bringing them closer together. Having her peppering kisses against his chest had chills flooding down his spine. Pushing his fingers up underneath the material of her shirt, Joel’s rough fingertips caressed up the lengths of her back. A gentle tug of his shirt let him know that she wanted him to lift his arms and he obliged. Taking a single step back, he lifted his arms helping her in getting it from his body. As soon as she dropped the material, Joel was quick to do the same with her shirt. Except with hers, the sleeves clung to her arms sticking true to them having troubles getting their clothes off. With an amused sound, Joel managed to finally get it and drop it beside them on the ground.

Stepping forward, Joel’s arm loosely wrapped around her waist to bring her to him again. With his free hand, he curled his finger in underneath her chin to get her to tip her head back. Bringing their lips together in a passionate sweep, Joel didn’t rush this. No, this was something that he wanted to experience in every way. How she reacted to him, it felt incredible. Gradually their kiss grew stronger, the hunger growing with every caress. Nipping faintly at her bottom lip, Joel hummed with her fingers trailing down over the center of his chest toward his lower abdomen. Taking her time, her fingers brushed over his belt and started to undo it. Getting it apart, she locked eyes with Joel wanting to watch him closely. Working on Joel’s pants, she managed to easily get them unhooked and unzipped.

Palming up over his abdomen had Joel’s eyelids getting heavy, his lips parting with his breathing growing louder. Sliding her hands in over Joel’s sides and over his back, she snaked her fingers in underneath the back of his jeans. Pushing at the material, she managed to get them to drop at his ankles. Standing before her in his black boxer briefs, his Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and his long eyelashes fluttered.

Standing before her like this made him feel vulnerable. In that moment she was palming in over the lengths of his body. Focusing solely on him and learning every part of him.

“Come here,” she reached for his hands leading him over toward the bottom of the bed.

Pressing her fingers in at the center of his chest, she had him lowering to sit down on the edge. Stroking her fingers through his dark hair had Joel’s jaw flexing with his breathing becoming broken. Tipping his head back, he felt his heart skip a beat with her dragging her thumb out over his bottom lip. Unhurriedly his touch moved in over her hips, sliding up toward her pants working to get them undone. Lifting up just enough, he started pampering the area right below her bellybutton with wet, lingering kisses. Hearing her gasping had goosebumps developing over his arms. Having his rough facial hair scratching at her flesh drew chills throughout her body that made her smile.

Pulling at the material, Joel assisted in getting her out of the jeans so she didn’t fall with her hand bracing in over his bare shoulder. Licking his lips, Joel felt his throat tensing up with her standing before him. Getting to see her body in this light? It took his breath away. The other night in his work room, the lighting wasn’t great. So in here with the light on? He got to experience so much more of her.

Meeting her stare, Joel turned his head in toward her palm to place a delicate kiss over the center of it. Reaching down, he took his socks off and she did the same leaving the both of them in just their under clothing. She was the first to make a move, leaning forward to brace her hands on the bed beside Joel’s body. Hovering her mouth over his shoulder had him shaking. Starting to deposit small kisses over his skin had his hand settling in over the small of her back. Closing his eyes, Joel didn’t know what it was about this woman that drove him crazy with desire, but she did. As her lips trailed over his collarbone and over the side of his neck, it had him sucking in a sharp breath of air. Every kiss was meticulous having the anticipation growing inside of him.

Sweeping her fingers in over the side of Joel’s neck, she leaned back with a broken breath. Teasing kisses at his bottom lip had him clinging tighter to her with his hands sliding in over her bottom. Giving it a firm squeeze had her mewling out with the sensation of it buzzing against his sensitive bottom lip. Unhurriedly her kisses started to lower down over the center of his chest until she carefully lowered down on her knees before him. Hooking her hands under his knees, she urged his hips to move forward so he could brace his weight back on his hands. Starting at his knees, she took her time caressing up toward Joel’s thighs giving them gentle squeezes.

Leaning forward, she started to press kisses over his lower abdomen near where his scar was. Tender kisses were being pressed over the area. Dropping his hand down, his fingers stroked at the back of her head while she pampered his body with warm kisses. Having her kissing his scar like that was her way of trying to prove to him that even his flaws and imperfections were okay with her. A shuddering breath escaped him with her hand pressing in over the center of his boxer briefs. Flattening her hand out over the length of him had Joel sucking in a sharp breath of air while she continued to pepper kisses over his lower abdomen.

Balancing himself, a grunt fell from his throat with the rubbing of her palm over his manhood through the thin material of his boxer briefs. Each touch had his body growing harder. Every part of him felt like it was on fire when her mouth found its way to the top of his boxer briefs. Sliding her hand up, she leaned back on her knees and hooked her fingers into the waistband of his boxer briefs. Starting to tug on the material, she gave him a nod and he lifted his hips to help get them from his body.

Swallowing down hard, Joel winced when his erection sprung free from behind the constrictive material. Setting his boxer briefs aside, she slid forward and started pressing faint kisses at Joel’s inner knee. Groaning out, Joel’s head tipped back slightly when her fingers loosely curled around the shaft of his manhood. Biting back a moan, he knew that he still wanted to watch her with her kisses pressing further up his thigh. How she was kissing over the sensitive parts of his body had the anticipation growing. Slow strokes of her palm over his girthy length had Joel’s head dropping down. Nothing was rushed with her sheathing his cock in the warmth of her hand. Licking his lips, Joel’s body tremored with her teasing the flesh over the swollen tip before down again.

Forcing himself to watch her, Joel groaned out when she faintly kissed at the tip having his thighs flex beneath her touch. Extending her tongue out slightly, she dragged her tongue against the ridges of the tip causing him to release a sharp breath. Watching him closely, she was paying attention to how he reacted with every touch. The gentle caress of her palming in over his testicles had his throat tensing up while he stroked at the back of her neck. How quickly she drove him wild with just the slightest touches was shocking to him. The room felt like it was spinning around him with her pressing wet kisses at the swollen tip. Faint strokes of her tongue had his hips arching up involuntarily toward her.

Releasing a raspy moan that was louder than he expected it to be, he felt her fingers curling firmly around his girthy length. Firm, determined strokes over his body had his head dropping down. His heart was pounding inside of his chest with her starting to kiss down over his shaft. It had been a very long time since he had someone do this for him, so he’d be lying if he said this wasn’t driving him mad with yearning for her.

Dragging the warmth of her lips along the length of his manhood had him lifting his hips up toward her. Getting comfortable between his thighs, her eyes locked with his while she took her time stroking her fingers up over the length of his erection before down again. Wetting her lips, she pressed in just enough to bring the tip of his cock to them. Kissing at the sensitive flesh first, she allowed each caress to grow more intense. Every movement having her tongue flicking out just that much more, teasing at the underside near the frenulum.

Moaning out, Joel finger’s stretched out as he caressed at her shoulder. By the time she finally took him between her lips, he was a mess. Ready to fall apart with the warmth of her mouth taking him in. Every motion she made over him was meticulous using her hands, her mouth and her tongue in unison to draw out his pleasure. At first she just focused on the first few inches. Dropping her head down before lazily drawing her head back allowing her tongue to lap at his body on the way back. All the while her hand was moving in the same tempo along with her mouth.

Watching her pleasure him was a gift in itself because he could tell that she actually wanted to see him in the moment. It wasn’t something to just do, she wanted to experience his pleasure and see what she was doing to him. Part of him wanted to drop back and let her have her way with him, but he knew that he wanted to see all of this.

Stretching his fingers out against the back of her head, he panted and licked his lips as she started to take more of him into her mouth. There was a fire building up inside of his belly with how dedicated she was to pleasuring him. Some women rushed this kind of thing. She didn’t and that turned him on so incredibly much.

“That feels so good,” Joel commented, praising her with what she was doing. Typically, this wasn’t like him, but a lot of this wasn’t normal for him. Slurring words of appreciation, Joel huffed out when he felt his body shaking beneath her. “Stop, stop.”

A wet sound surrounded them with her unhurriedly pulling her lips from his length. Looking up at him with worried eyes, she continued to pump her hand over his body using her saliva to coat his cock in it. Hissing out, Joel knew that he wanted her to keep going, but at the same time, he wanted this to be something more.

“Stand up,” he requested of her with a loud gulping sound that elicited a tiny smile from her. With a nod, she released his body provoking him to grunt. Being careful in the way that she stood up had Joel huffing out with his erection twitching wanting to have the warmth of her mouth going back to doing what it was. Cussing to himself, Joel sat up straighter at the edge of the bed and wiggled his fingers at her. “Come here darlin’.”

Doing as she was told, she stepped forward before him. Gazing up at her with his chocolate-colored eyes, Joel’s hands grasped at her hips. Sliding them up had her tremoring before he caressed them down over her body again. Starting to pamper her abdomen with kisses, Joel listened to the sounds that she was making. Her fingers sank into his hair with him nibbling at her flesh.

Lifting his hands, he hooked them into the material of her panties and tipped his head back to stare up at her as he started to work them down her legs. Helping her step out of them had him offering up a tiny smirk with him dragging his bottom lip up over the inside of her thigh.

“You are so beautiful,” he slurred, reaching around to palm in over her bottom. Noticing the way that she was trying to hide that she was shaking caused him to smile. Hell, he was having that problem earlier too. It was good to know that he did the same thing to her. Testing her flesh in his grasp, Joel hummed and then loosely wrapped his left arm around her hips to pull her closer. Bringing his fingers up to his lips, Joel’s tongue lapped at his fingertips with a hum. Lifting them, he dragged a line over the length of her sex having her hips bounce toward him. “Look at you.”

Teasing the rough pads of his fingertips from her sensitive bundle of nerves down toward her entrance and back again had her panting out his name. Just the sound of that was so addicting to him. Repeating the motion several times, he leaned in and started pressing kisses at her hip and down over her thigh.

“Grab onto me,” he instructed with a growl, his right hand grabbing a firm hold of her hip. Placing her hands in over his shoulders, she did as she was told with Joel leaning into drag the length of his tongue out between her sensitive folds. A cry escape her that sent chills throughout his entire body. Circling the tip of his tongue faintly at her clit had her shuddering drawing forth a deep rumble of a groan from him. Tugging her in closer to him, Joel lapped at her body burying his nose in against her flesh with the trail his tongue took from her entrance to her clit. Again she cried out his name, her body shaking against him. Every flick of his tongue grew stronger and more determined. Starting to slurp at her body, his mouth started to focus on the tiny bud with his fingertip tracing a line between her folds. Circling her entrance, Joel unhurriedly pressed his finger into her warmth groaning out against her flesh. Fuck, it had been so long since he had been able to do this. Hearing her crying out his name had an ache at his erection. Taking things slow, Joel pumped his thick finger inside of her humming against her body. Having her rocking against the motions told him he was doing something right along with the way her fingers tugged firmly at his hair. Taking his time to insert a second finger had her moaning out and trembling in his gasps. Tipping his head back, Joel licked his lips and smiled. “That’s it.”

Focusing on her once more, he shook his head from side-to-side moaning against her body with her fingertips digging into his shoulders. Growling against her body had her shaking harder against him. Pretty soon her legs felt like Jell-o between the motion of his fingers thrusting inside of her and focusing on her g-spot while his mouth pleasured her in unison. Pretty soon her legs started to shake and she knew if she wasn’t bracing herself against Joel she would have fallen. What he was building up inside of her was strong. There was a rushing to her head with the euphoric sensation he was drawing out from her. A growl escaped him when the walls of her body started to contract around his fingers. Pushing through, Joel’s movements grew stronger and more determined when her orgasm started. Her cries were loud and they weren’t holding back with one another. Slouching forward had Joel tipping his head back with his tongue slowly pulling from her body.

“Good girl,” he praised her, keeping a firm hold of her to stop her from falling. Helping her crawl in over him, Joel’s thick digits were quick to work at the back of her bra, his lips descending over her jawline. Soft pants fell from her lips with the material of her bra falling down her arms. Covering her breast with his mouth, Joel felt her fingertips back at his manhood stroking it in slow movements. Kissing up over her collarbone and over the side of her neck had her tipping her head to allow him the room to do it. A nervous exhale fell from him with her moving in over him. “Wait…”

“What is it?” she muttered, her fingers sweeping at the back of his neck with his dark eyes locked on hers.

“Are you sure you want this?” Joel confirmed with her, his eyelids growing heavy with the sensation of her dragging the tip of his cock through her sensitive folds. With a nod, she loosely wrapped her arm around his shoulders. Keeping his eyes on hers, he grasped firmly at her hips. Right now, everything was spinning for him. Positioning him at her entrance had Joel’s lips parting, his heartbeat quickening inside of his chest. Lowering down slowly had the tip entering her with them moaning together in unison. Tensing up beneath her, Joel dropped his head and buried it against the side of her neck. Having her tight warmth enveloping his body drew out a deep rumble of a moan. Grabbing a tight hold of her hips, Joel kissed at the side of her neck and knew that he was feeling so much all at once. A whimper fell from her lips when she lowered down just a bit more and he dropped his head back. “Don’t rush this. I told you it was bigger.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” she hushed him, bringing their lips together when she allowed her hips to lower down in over him further. Together they moaned with him pressing his forehead to hers. Giving herself time to get used to him inside of her, she placed her free hand in over his chest. Licking his lips, Joel tried to contain himself knowing that he desperately wanted to thrust upward, but he wanted to give her the power in the moment. It felt so good and he wondered if he was trembling beneath her touch. “Look at me.”

“Yes ma’am,” he slurred, his eyelids heavy with awe for the woman before him. By the time she lowered down over him completely, it had Joel moaning out with his left hand reaching up to palm in over the side of her neck. Inside of her it felt like she was made for only him with the tight walls of her body surrounding him and clinging to him. “You are so beautiful.”

“So are you,” she hovered her lips in over his, appreciating the way his hands started to caress over her body. Instead of starting off immediately, she let the two of them get used to one another. There was an ache inside of her with the full feeling of Joel’s body stretching hers. Bringing their lips together in a hungry kiss, she unhurriedly brought her hips up before rocking them back down. A raspy moan fell from Joel’s throat with his face scrunching up when she continued to move over him. “Focus on me.”

Giving her a nod, Joel’s eyes stayed connected with hers. His breathing was loud with him desperate to kiss her. His hips bouncing up toward hers faintly, eager to meet the slow downward movements her body was making over his. Every part of his body was hot with a liquid warmth flooding through his veins.

He had sex many times before this, but this was different. Something that he wasn’t used to. Maybe it was because of the time gap between his last time having sex with someone, but everything felt so much more enhanced. Kissing her again and again, their breathing grew broken with the rolls of her hips over his becoming slightly faster with just a small amount of strength being added.

“I haven’t done this in a long time,” Joel warned her, his nose nuzzling in against hers with a sense of panic in his features. With how good everything felt, he was worried that things wouldn’t last as long as he wanted it to. “I’m sorry if I…”

“Shh…” she hushed him, not allowing his fears to eat away at him. Hooking her arms loosely around his shoulders, she started moving harder over him with his hands caressing up over her body to squeeze at her full breasts. “No one is rushing anything today.”

Lowering his hands to her hips, Joel helped her rock herself over his cock with him dropping his head down to take her nipple into his mouth again. Sucking at the flesh, he felt her tugging at his hair to bring his mouth back to hers. Kissing her with everything that he had, Joel felt her tongue brushing out against his and it sent chills down his spine.

“Lay back,” she ordered pressing her hand at the center of his chest. Carefully doing as he was told, Joel panted with her adjusting her body over him. Bracing her hands back on his thighs gave her the strength she needed to start bouncing over his length more confidently. Getting to see his body going in and out of hers repeatedly kickstarted his heart inside of his chest. “You feel so good.”

Even though she was uncomfortable at first, she was doing very well handling his body like this. With how tightly her body was clinging to his, he didn’t know how much longer he could last. Which was the last thing he wanted to happen especially since he wanted this to be something more. Lifting his head, Joel’s raspy moan filled the room with panting.

Dropping her hips allowed him to fill her completely with his abdomen sinking in. Digging his fingers into her flesh, Joel was desperate for the movement of her over him. Bouncing his hips up toward her had a smacking sound filling the bedroom and she released the most addictive moan that sent chills throughout him. Together they moved in unison, his right hand dropping down to tease circles over her clit while his left stayed clung to her hip. The friction had her biting down on her bottom lip, tipping her head back.

“You are so perfect,” Joel praised her, continuing his movements. Realizing that her breathing was going broken, Joel reached for her hips and started to thrust up toward her in steady movements. Focusing on solely her in that moment, he felt proud when her cries grew louder. What he had done successfully was bring her to another orgasm. The only problem was that his body started to twitch beneath her.

“God,” Joel dropped his head back with her starting to move her hips over him again. This time with only tiny circular motions allowing a small amount of him to pull out of her before burying deeply into her again. Grunts with every movement followed and he desperately pushed up to meet her in another kiss wanting her near him.

Taking advantage of the moment, Joel rolled her onto her back being careful not to hurt her. Hooking his arm firmly around her waist, he managed to lift her enough to drag her toward the center of the bed. Lowering himself between her thighs, he leaned into her touch when he started to palm in over the side of her face. Dragging his bottom lip up over hers, Joel hummed with her arms wrapping around his shoulders. Right now he was still very much inside of her, but he wasn’t moving.

“I have no idea what you’ve done to me,” Joel muttered against her lips, drawing out a purr from her. Stroking his thumb over her cheekbone, he memorized what she looked like beneath him. Flushed, with a longing for him that drove him crazy. Nuzzling his nose in against hers, Joel lowered his weight down in over his arms bringing their bodies closer together. Starting off slow, his hips thrust upward with her arm hooking around his shoulders. Her legs wrapped around his waist with her heels loosely digging at his thighs. Every pull back and push forward was enhanced with the base of his shaft rubbing up against her. “All I wanna be is near you.”

“You can be,” she purred in his ear, kissing at the side of his face with him setting a steady pace between the two of them. Soft cries fell from her lips, vibrating against the side of his neck drawing him to moan. Keeping up the pace that he set, he just knew that he wanted to draw this out and have her near. Stroking her fingers through his messy hair, she brought him to her for them to kiss.

“You feel like home,” Joel alerted her, dropping his head down to bury it against the side of her neck. Stroking down over the lengths of his back, she cuddled her head in next to his enjoying the way the muscles flexed beneath her touch. Every movement was pronounced with the tip of Joel’s cock hitting all the right spots inside of her while providing the friction needed to stimulate her body. “Like this was where you were always meant to be.”

Tugging at his hair she brought him back for another kiss, her cries against his lips making him moan. He probably sounded ridiculous, but he was spouting off what he felt in that moment. Wincing out, Joel’s movements started to grow unsteady with him adding just a small amount more of speed between them.

“Just like that,” she encouraged him, her right hand dropping down to palm in over his bottom while the left stayed hooked into his hair.

“Yes ma’am,” he hummed against her flesh doing as he was told. Breaking away from their kiss every so often, he watched her reactions being sure to see what drew out the most pleasure for her. Her broken breaths turned to moans with Joel bouncing his hips up toward hers, her body clenching tightly to his when it started to contract around his girthy length. “I can’t keep holding on…”

“It’s okay,” she assured him with a nod, her body arching up toward every movement. Reaching for her hand, Joel hooked his fingers with hers. Pressing it down against the bed, Joel kissed her through the movements. Desperate to have that connection and close contact. Quiet moans of his name sent chills throughout him with his body starting to tense up. Moaning out, Joel’s eyes came to a tight close when he felt the throbbing of his cock. When the first sign of his release spilled out inside of her he could hear her cries growing louder as he continued to thrust through his orgasm.

Burying his head against the side of her neck, Joel’s moan was faint with the final roll of his hips over her. Closing his eyes, he couldn’t get enough of the way her fingertips stroked at the back of his neck playing with the damp curls of hair at the bottom of his neck. Their breathing was loud and broken, but they were both quiet just wanting to hold one another after everything.

Getting more comfortable over her, Joel started pressing faint kisses at the side of her face leading them to her lips to where each kiss was drawn out and sweet. Nuzzling his nose in against hers, Joel cleared his throat with how the room felt like it was spinning.

“Was that okay?” he confirmed with her, his heart racing when she gave him a smile and a small nod. Palming at the side of her face, Joel shifted his weight and pulled his hips back having the both of them moaning out when his body pulled from hers. Lowering down in beside her, Joel allowed her to crawl in over him to rest her head against the center of his chest. Wrapping her up in his arms, Joel cuddled his chin in over her head enjoying the warmth of her over him. “I really like you.”

Lifting her head, she gave him a weak smile while she stroked her fingers over the center of his chest, “I really like you too.”

There was so much Joel wanted to say, but he couldn’t considering everything he had been through. Cuddling up with her, they had managed to pull the covers in over their bodies. Instead of talking, they just laid with one another. The sounds of their breathing matched and they couldn’t stop touching one another. Whether it was her peppering kisses over his chest or him stroking his fingers over her shoulders. Regardless, they were consistently holding hands and sharing kisses until eventually she had fallen asleep in over him.

What was nice was that she was comfortable enough with him to do that, but he hadn’t done that yet because his mind was doing nothing but thinking about what they had done. Never in his life had he ever experienced with sex what he had just done with her.

Dropping his eyes, Joel looked down at her sleeping at the center of his chest. Stroking his fingers over the back of her head, Joel felt the lump in his throat growing bigger. There was so much to this woman and she made him feel better about things than he had ever felt in a very long time. But truthfully? He knew that he was no good for her. What she needed was someone to lift her up, but even with how they slept together today, he knew that she was the one trying to lift him up. The one putting forward most of the effort to show that he wasn’t broken, but he knew better. In fact, he was a very broken person and that would never change.

More than anything, he wanted to be enough for this woman, but he knew that he never would be. Shifting beneath her, Joel was very careful in the way he moved. Being cautious to the point of not wanting to wake her up. Once he managed to pull out from under her, Joel made sure to tuck the blankets in around her.

All he could keep thinking about was his past and how she deserved someone good. Someone that would lift her up and make her feel special. And it scared him that he wasn’t that person. So to avoid hurting her, it was best to stop this now before it could get any worse. Getting dressed, Joel was quiet in the way he moved throughout the room. Stopping when he got to the door, he looked back toward the bedroom and felt his chest hurt.

Normally, he wouldn’t have a problem with a one-night stand in the past. So why the fuck did this hurt so much even thinking about doing? Reaching for the doorknob, Joel huffed out and thought about the way she touched him. The way she made him feel. How she was vulnerable with him and wanted nothing more than to be close to him.

Stepping back and away from the door, Joel started pulling at his clothes again to get them from his body. Stumbling back into the bedroom, Joel lifted the blankets and slid in behind her. Wrapping his arm firmly around her waist, Joel pulled her back against him hearing her breathing change when he did it alerting him that she had woken up.

“You are so special,” Joel whispered, pressing a lingering kiss against her temple enjoying the way that her fingers hooked with his tightly. Instead of leaving, he had to fight that feeling of not being enough. Because he meant what he said to her earlier. Being with her felt like home and he hadn’t felt that way in a very long time.

----

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