#i hadn't had one before. but now im more experienced

[britneyshakespeare]

I have to be so honest and vulnerable with you for a second. I keep thinking of getting another complete works of Shakespeare

[lovelettersfromluna]

Supercut

Summary: “In my head, I play a supercut of us.”

an: halfway through writing this I decided that this isn't technically the finale hehe, more of cam girl!Ellie come, this is just the end of them being stupid. mwah mwah love you all more than you know.

Warnings: SMUT!! 18+, MDNI, angst, cam girl!ellie, Ellie is a real idiot in this one tbh, arguing, hurt/eventual comfort, toxic!Ellie, tribbing, making out, pet names, this one is a little short im sorry, lmk if I missed anything!!!

Read part 1 here, and part 2 here!

You know that gross feeling you get whenever you look back at old pictures or videos? You know, the one that you feel at the pit of your stomach, and it makes you really happy but also really sad? What's that called again?

Oh, right. Its melancholy

It's that feeling where you have a specific memory, and you know that no matter what, that time is gone. You can't replicate it, and the only place that it will live is in the confides of your own mind

And it sucks, because you don't even know when those moments are going to be made. There's no warning in your brain that the day you have planned is going to be so impactful to your life, that you will constantly chase that feeling, trying to replicate what it was that made that time so blissful so that you can feel that same warmth again.

You don't even get the chance to savor it while it lasts.

It almost makes you feel like you never wanted those times to happen to begin with, because you would have been fine without them. Sacrifice one of the times of your life so that you wouldn't have to spend countless nights laying in bed, only hoping that you will experience something that can even come close to how it all felt in the past.

Most of the time, it's easy to simply look back at those memories, feel that disgusting mixture of happiness and sadness, and then move on.

But for some god awful reason, you can't seem to do that this time.

This time, it lingers. It sits there, knocking at your chest, demanding to be acknowledged, to have all of your undivided attention, giving you no choice but to think about how fucked up this all is, how all of this was a complete and utter mistake, and how you have no way in taking it back.

It makes you wish time travel was real, yearning for some mad scientist to come out and say 'look everyone! you can reverse the mistakes you've made in the past!'.

But that doesn't happen, and you have no choice but to live with the icky feeling that settles at the pit of your stomach, and refuses to go away.

You weren't entirely sure what would happen after that night with Ellie, the night that she laid her weight on top of you, fucking you into her mattress over and over again, whispering the sweetest words into the nape of your neck, holding you the entire night through once you were finished, silence overcoming the space as you both fell into a blissful sleep.

It was hard to really tell where you both stood, but you weren't an idiot.

You knew, that you and Ellie had made love that night.

It was truly like nothing you had ever experienced. It was like you were constantly in that delicious state before sleep, where the world is soft, and everything is so comfortable right before you reach the point of unconsciousness, and everything feels so utterly perfect.

That's what it felt like, and you knew that from the moment Ellie had pulled you against her chest, and pressed a soft kiss to your head before you both fell asleep.

It happened, but God....you really wished it hadn't.

Because now? Things were so much fucking worse.

The feeling Ellie gave you scared you, and it made the ugliest thoughts fill your head when you woke up. You felt wrong, the skin on your body feeling filthy for doing something so intimate with her, with your roommate. You felt like you were taking something that wasn't yours, something that was never meant for you in that way.

So you ran.

Not far, of course. You were lucky enough to wake up before Ellie, gently peeling yourself from her body, your stomach sinking whenever she mumbled something gently in her sleep, her hands mindlessly reaching for your body before she fell back into her deep slumber.

You stood over her for a moment, watching as her eyes flickered in her sleep, lips parted as she snored gently. The feeling you had when you watched her sleep scared you, because you felt...like you wanted to stay with her, protect her, hold her in your arms and ignore the reality of how much this was fucking with your head, ignore the fact that she had simply wanted help with her work.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

You inhaled deeply before you left her room, closing her door gently before you quickly went to your bedroom, tugged on a t shirt and jeans before you grabbed your jacket and left the apartment.

You stayed out in the city all day, that day. You were like a ghost, trying to sort out the feelings that were settling in your chest, opting to simply ignore them instead. You made sure to leave your phone at home, knowing any texts from Ellie wouldn't do you any good with how you were feeling.

You didn't return home until later that afternoon, the sun setting, slowly casting the familiar darkness of night onto the city that you had come to know. You wished you could stay out longer, avoid the situation more, but it was only gettin colder, and you knew you had to go back to your apartment sooner or later.

When you got there, you were greeted by silence. You don't even hear Ellie's usual music playing from inside her room. You frowned softly, looking around a bit for any signs of the girl there. You looked down, finding that her leather jacket and helmet weren't where they usually were.

Ellie had left too.

You should've been happy at that, giving you even more time away from the girl than planned, yet you can't ignore the ugly tinge of sadness and annoyance that lingers at the back of your throat at the thought of here simply...leaving.

When you got to your room, you quickly grabbed your phone, wishfully thinking that there would be a string of messages from your roommate, asking you where you've gone, and if everything is okay between you both.

But when you unlock your phone, there's nothing there.

Not a single call, or a single text.

And you suddenly realized, that great minds think alike.

So, that's how things go with you and Ellie after that. There isn't a grand scene of love, where you both confess that you had both felt that way from the moment you set eyes on each other, there isn't a happily ever after where you become her girl, and she becomes yours. There isn't any of that, you two simply go from being friends, to barely being roommates.

You guys never speak about it. There's never a conversation that happens to even clear the air, pretending as though that night in her bedroom never happened.

There's a sense of hostility that follows after all of it happens, because Ellie won't even fucking look at you now, let alone stand in the same room as you. If you're in the living room, she's in her bedroom, and if you're in the kitchen, she leaves the apartment to go eat somewhere else.

It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, because you can practically feel the hatred she has for you radiating off of her body whenever she's around, and it's a shock to you that you two are still even living together. The Ellie that would once sit in the living room with you, practically tugging your body to sit on her lap, has succumb to someone who barely even exists to you anymore.

And it doesn't even end there.

Ellie never really had girls in and out of the apartment before, even before you and her started filming and having sex. She was pretty strict about letting others into her space, only ever bringing around girls she was dating long term, or her designated filming partner. You never had a problem with it, letting Ellie know time and time again that the place was half hers, and she could bring whoever she wanted.

But that seemingly changed after you and her happened.

Because suddenly, there's a different girl at your apartment every night, and Ellie is fucking them ten different ways into the next month.

And it always happens to be on the nights before you have to wake up early to go in and open the record store.

She becomes relentless.

You first noticed it happening when she breezed past you on a Friday night, clearly dressed up for a night out. You couldn't really ignore the way your core tightened at how fucking good she looked, the feeling quickly overshadowed by the way she yet again left the house as if you weren't sitting right there.

After getting yourself to bed for some much needed shut eye, you were rudely awakened by the sound of your front door slamming open, followed by the sound of tumbling and soft giggles..

Which then slowly turned into the sounds of Ellie fucking a girl in her bedroom that was directly across from yours.

And it kept going, night after night, the sound of Ellie pleasuring another woman was all that you were left with. Not even your headphones on full volume could drown out the banging of Ellies headboard against the wall.

You have never been a jealous person, especially when it came to Ellie and her sex life. However, after what happened between the both of you, and the very clear fact that Ellie was indeed doing it out of spite..

You really couldn't ignore the fire you felt at the pit of your stomach whenever you heard some random girl moaning out Ellie's name to the top of her fucking lungs.

It was then that you came to terms with the fact that enough was enough.

And you had to move out.

It wasn't long until you wouldn't leave your room.

You seriously couldn't stomach the way it felt, being ignored by Ellie, her constant avoidance a reminder of how much of a bad idea it was to agree to filming with her in the first place. If that wasn't enough, constantly seeing her leave the apartment to go meet up with another girl started to hurt even more.

And you really didn't want to face the truth behind that.

There was something unsettling that came with the feeling it gave you, because how could you go from not even batting an eyelash at Ellie walking out of her bedroom with Julia, to feeling tears prickle at the edge of your eyes every time you heard her fucking someone else across from your room.

Because it's cruel, and you know you were wrong to leave her the way you did, but she left too. You knew that what you did was wrong, but surely you didn't deserve all of this? And why would she even want to hurt you like this in the first place? Surely you were the only one that felt this ridiculous conflicting feeling that only brought you stress.

And yet, you only found new ways to torture yourself.

It happens one night after work, you're tired and all you want to do is peel off your clothes and hop into bed.

Opting to grab your laptop, wanting to watch some mindless video on the internet to lull you to sleep, you are suddenly faced with something that had been waiting to haunt you.

A link to one of your videos with Ellie was still on your browser.

She had sent it to you a while ago, wanting to show you how well it was doing, and all the positive feedback that it was receiving, you meant to watch it at the time, but never got around to it. Now, it was sitting there, collecting dust until you decided to open it.

And you knew you shouldn't have, because that chapter of your life has closed, and you intended to keep it fully closed.

But curiosity did kill the cat, didn't it?

You didn't think twice before opening it, the link quickly flashing across your screen and taking you to Ellie's page. The thumbnail is of the two of you, the last video you guys had filmed. Its you, straddling Ellie on her bed, her strong hands gripping your hips, probably forcing you to grind down on her lap.

You feel your core tighten at the sight of it.

You don't look at it much longer, or read the comments either, because you know they will all be asking where you've gone, and whether or not you were coming back.

Instead of closing your laptop and going to sleep like you should have, you kept scrolling through Ellies page. You come to find the usual, seeing that she had been live the past few nights, as well as posted a few videos for her viewers to catch up on, none of it out of the ordinary.

Something does catch your eye however.

Its a video that was posted a few nights ago, and you can barely make it out, but you can see a thumbnail of Ellies tattooed hand pushed between a girls thighs, doing what you can only assume to be fingering her.

And that girl is definitely not you.

She had found herself a new partner.

It’s no shock that she did. She’d been actively fucking other girls, someone in and out of your apartment almost every night, something that she had made sure to make very clear to you…

But there was just something about actually seeing it that hurt like hell

You slammed your laptop shut, a bit too hard, but you were suddenly filled with something foreign to you, something that you hardly felt for anyone.

Quickly grabbing you blankets and tugging them over your body, you squeezed your eyes shut to try and erase the image of Ellie with another girl from your brain, the image slowly tainting the deepest corners of your mind so that you won't ever be able to do just that.

You couldn't do this anymore.

Ellie was just as bad at talking about her feelings as you were.

Because the morning after you and her had sex, she wanted nothing more than to wake up with you, kiss you, hold you, move on from this agonizingly slow phase that you two were in, where she was allowed to do the things that she always wanted to do, just conditionally.

She wanted to wake up, and move forward whatever the fuck you and her were stuck in.

But you didn’t. You simply woke up before her, and left, leaving Ellie to feel like a fucking idiot.

Because maybe she read into the entire thing wrong, maybe you didn’t feel anything for her, maybe you really did only see her as your roommate and nothing more than that….

Maybe that look in your eye that she was sure she saw when she was fucking you, was all in her head.

So when you ran, she did too.

And soon, Ellie’s sadness turned into anger, and all she wanted to do, was hurt you the same way that you hurt her.

She wanted you to hear her with other girls, she wanted you to see her with other women on her streams, she wanted you to see what it was that you’d lost, what you’d stupidly lost when you decided to run away from her the morning after it all.

But maybe she’d taken it too far.

Because Ellie’s anger turned into something that she didn’t want, because no matter how much noise she made, how good she tried to look whenever she was getting ready to go out with some random girl, no matter what she did to make you jealous, you never batted an eyelash her way, you never once reacted to anything that she did that was directed at you for the sole purpose of getting your attention.

And not only did it further prove to Ellie that you didn’t give a fuck about her, but it also made her so much more frustrated with you.

Did you seriously not have a fucking soul? Could you not even acknowledge her? Hurt for her? Feel hurt by her? Why wasn’t it working? Why weren’t you…..why couldn’t you just…..

Why couldn’t you just fucking want her.

Ellie was truly at her last straw, because being with other women was something she already didn’t like doing, but it was slowly eating away at her, picking away at her insides and making her feel hollow inside, a shell of who she used to be when she was with you.

And when she didn’t think things could get any worse, she found you doing something she only saw in her nightmares.

She hadn’t really noticed it at first, but slowly, your belongings began to disappear from the apartment. Particularly in the living room.

Your stack of blankets would get smaller and smaller as the week went by, the dorky little figures you had littered around different shelves and the tv stand started to disappear too, little parts of you started leaving, one by one, and Ellie was too far up her own ass to even notice.

Maybe if she had, she could’ve convinced you to stay.

In all honesty? Ellie probably wouldn’t even have realized you were leaving until it was too late, the girl far too consumed in her little revenge streak to notice the slow but sure disappearance of you, the way the remnants of you slowly began to leave one by one.

It just so happened that on a day that you were packing up some of your boxes, you had left your door cracked open, thinking that Ellie wasn’t home.

She was passing by your room when she heard a soft huff, the sound quickly catching her attention as she slowly walked towards your door, catching sight of the various opened boxes scattered around your room that was already looking sparse due to packing it all the way.

That. That was the straw the broke the camels fucking back.

Because suddenly, Ellie is pushing your door open, the force from her hand making it slam against your wall, the loud sound making you flinch to look over in her direction with wide eyes.

“Ellie?” You question softly.

The sound of her name rolling off your tongue makes a shiver run down her spine, because god….had she missed the way you said it.

Her eyes are angry, eyebrows furrows together as her eyes scan your room, looking at the boxes, your half empty closet, your empty book shelf.

“What the fuck is going on here?” She spits out, her tone making you wince slightly. It’s the first time you’ve heard her speak to you in almost an entire month and it’s so fucking hostile, so pointed.

This really wasn’t how you wanted this to go.

You let out a soft sigh, bringing your palm up to ran along your face as you look down at the boxes as well, heart sinking at the thought of going.

“Look…Ellie…I was planning on telling you…I just-“ she’s quick to cut you off, walking further into your bedroom as her eyes scan the walls, watching as they began to grow emptier and emptier the further in she looked. She scoffs, her green eyes finally landing on yours, her smoldering grip enough to take your breath away.

“Bull-fucking-shit. You weren’t going to tell me anything, and you know that” she argues, nostrils flared as she stares at you with eyes filled with that same glare of hate that you saw every time she’d glaze over you within recent weeks.

And she was right. You had no intention of telling her anything. She would learn that you were gone once you were gone, because that’s what you did.

You always ran.

You let out a sigh of defeat before you step away from her, fully intending on continuing packing. You didn’t want this to stop you, or put anymore obstacles in your way of leaving. This was what you had to do, and you knew that.

“I can’t stay here anymore, Ellie…things are fucked up between us and I just…I won’t deal with it anymore” you mumble out, your voice tired, weak. A clear indication of how you felt towards the entire situation. It was draining you, and you knew that for your own well being, you had to get out.

The sight of you packing as if she wasn’t in your room, trying to figure out why you were leaving, makes her even more upset. It blinds her from your words, from the weakness in your voice, in your appearance. She ignores it because the anger she feels is much easier to indulge in.

"So that's it? You're just gonna leave? Without saying anything to me?" she barks out, her tone making you feel worse than you already do.

And then it all stops, because why the hell are you feeling bad when this isn't even your fault.

You slowly turn to Ellie, your eyebrows furrowed as you stare at her in disbelief, cocking your head to the side slowly before you start to speak.

"Are you listening to yourself right now, Ellie? Do you ever stop to think for one second that not everything is about you?" The tone of your voice is so calm, words so slow and articulated, it barely even sounds like you're mad.

And it scares you, and it scares her.

You don't stop there, you couldn't even if you wanted to.

"This wasn't my idea, none of it was. I agreed to help you because you asked it of me, and I clearly have no fucking sense of boundaries. I get that what I did was wrong, and I shouldn't have left you that morning, but no one is fucking perfect" You defend, your own breath become more shallow the more you speak, your anger and frustration finally rising to the surface.

"This isn't good for me. You aren't good for me, you've been fucking different girls every goddamn night just to hurt me, and you're a fucking liar if you deny it." you spit out, making Ellie wince slightly, yet her eyebrows never unravel from how furrowed they are, and the frown on her lips is still there.

When you said it out loud though, she realized just how bad it was.

"I did it to get your fucking attention...not to hurt you" She barely whispers, staring down at you. You can't help but laugh softly, scoffing at her words before you give her a gentle sigh.

"Oh it got my attention, Ellie. It got it so much, that I can't bare for you to have it anymore..." you mumble out softly before you turn away from her, unable to stare into her eyes for any longer.

"I don't know what happened between us that morning...but I want nothing more than to just..forget about it all" You let out meekly, feeling yourself reduce to that small ball of insecurities once again.

And Ellie finally softens when she sees it, because you never let your guard down this much.

She inhales deeply, taking a step towards you, trying to get closer to you. You don't step back, or flinch, you simply ignore her, carrying on to pack your things as if she wasn't there, standing above you.

"You hurt me too...you know" she mumbled out, her voice finally dropping that hostile tone that she had when she first walked in. You're quick to turn towards her, spinning around to set your eyes that were quickly growing redder by the second.

"And Im sorry!" you shout, your voice going the loudest it had yet, it makes Ellie flinch.

You sigh out tiredly before you bring your hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "If I could go back and do it differently..I would..but too much has happened, Ellie...I don't..." you trail off, struggling to find the proper words before you sigh softly, finally speaking again.

"I don't see you the same way, anymore" you mumble out.

This makes Ellies heart seize up, because what do you mean by that? What are you trying to tell her?

You move to sit on your knees, you bare legs coming in contact with the cold, wooden floor as you begin packing more things in a different box. There's no more fighting, there isn't anymore arguing, or anger, it's just silent, the occasional sound of your clothes hitting each other when they hit you settle them in the box. You don't even bother to turn around and yell at Ellie, or even tell her to get out.

And maybe thats what's hurting her the most. You never yelled, you didn't cry or beg, you didn't do anything when she knew you heard her, saw her with those other girls. All of them were nothing to her, sorry attempts at trying to grab hold of your attention again, get you to show just a little bit of fucking anger, so that she knew you still felt something for her, so that she knew she still had you.

But it was clear to her with the way that you disregarded her after it all, as if she didn't even matter, that she didn't have you anymore.

Did she ever? Did she ever have a chance with you? Was she all in her head? Were you simply just a good friend? A decent roommate who promised to help her out when she needed help? Was all of it just....

Pretend?

She feels like she's running out of options, because she assumed that if anything, you two would fight and end up in a heated, passionate love making session where you two would admit what you had felt all along.

But Ellie was slowly coming to the conclusion that she was being fucking delusional.

Her decisions didn't let up thought, because soon, she's on her knees next to you, grabbing your wrists gently in her hands and pulling you to face her. She feels her heart break when you refuse, trying to pull away from her grasp, mumbling soft complaints of how you needed to finish packing.

When she finally tugs you a bit harder, forcing you to look at her, she feels the weight of her mistakes finally settle on her chest, because you're crying. Your eyes are puffy and your cheeks are stained, and it's all her fucking fault.

She bites back a whimper, tugging her bottom lip into her mouth as she feel her own throat burn with tears.

"Hey...look at me...come on...where's my pretty girl...come on.." She tries over and over again, voice breaking, making you whimper as you try tugging your arms from her grasp.

"Don't you see how fucked up this is, Ellie? We were just screaming at each other and now...now you're calling me your girl" you plead with her, the words bubbling past your lips as the mere sight of here forces more tears from your eyes, making it harder and harder to talk.

Ellie can't talk her way out of this one, not with you. She knows there isn't much she can do, or say, and she feels like she's all out of options, because you're right. All of this is so fucked up, and it makes her insides burn because she's hurt, and you're hurt, and it feels like there's nothing she can do to fix it.

She does the only thing she feels will work. She kisses you.

It's filled with everything. Passion, longing, happiness, sadness, anger, everything that had been pent up between the both of you is poured into the kiss, and it's enough to make you feel dizzy.

But you don't pull away, you melt into her, just like you always do. She feels it too, feels the way you let you defenses down, taking it as a chance to tug your wrists up and around her neck, her own arms resting on your hips as she pulls you closer, her lips working against yours.

"Im....fuck...im so sorry, baby....never meant to hurt you" She mumbles against you, her words coming out as a breathy sigh against your lips, making you moan softly against her. She pushes her tongue into your mouth, giving your waist a soft squeeze.

"M'sorry too..Ellie....shouldn't have left..." You whine against her, and she's quickly shaking her head, gently tugging you up to stand with her before she's pulling you too your bed.

"Just...lemme take care of you..alright" She hums against your lips before she gently pushes you back to lay on your bed, her own body crawling over yours, resting her weight on your body as she goes back to kissing you.

It's so slow, and sensual, and it feels like the entire world is quiet, like you're fading into her, and she's fading into you, and you both are becoming one. It feels so fucking right, and the hole that had been growing in your chest is finally filling up, the essence that is Ellie slowly acting as the medicine that you needed all along.

Ellie rolls over, gripping your hips and tugging you to straddle her waist as she lays back against your bed. Her green eyes eat you up, strong hands already running along your hips and thighs, giving you a squeeze before her hand creeps up your t shirt, pushing it up a bit before it slips under, grasping your boob and massaging it in her hands.

"Fuck...look at you...missed you so much, pretty girl....you can't even imagine.." She sighs softly under her breath, eager hands roaming your body hungrily, as if they've deprived of you for so long, missing the way your skin spilled out from under her hands, always so responsive for her.

You tug your bottom lip between your teeth as you watch her practically worshiping your body with her hands, a soft whine leaving your lips as you rest your hands on her hips, pushing up her t shirt a bit as your thumbs rub small circle into her pale hips.

Her hands rest on your hips, forcing you to grind down onto her lap, making you whine softly, the feeling her her sweats bunching up right at your core, your cotton pajama shorts leaving much too room to be exposed by her touch.

She sits up, grabbing the hem of your shirt before she tugs it off your body, groaning softly as her lips immediately latch onto your nipple, biting and sucking. You moan softly, arching your back a bit and forcing more of you to her mouth, hands wrapped around her neck, toying with the hair at the nape of her neck.

Ellie pushes you back, resting you to lay down before she tugs your pajama shorts and panties off in one go. You promptly spread your legs for her, letting her settle between them, the small gesture making her groan, her strong hands gripping your thighs, grinding against your bare pussy.

"Fuck...such a good girl for me..." she sighs softly against your lips.

You whine, reaching down and tugging at her own pants, fumbling with the waistband of her shorts that hung oh so fucking low.

"Off..wanna feel you.." You moan softly against her, resulting in a soft chuckle from her. She presses one last kiss to your lips before she nods.

"Whatever you want baby...fuck" she mumbles softly under her breath when she pulls back to start tugging her own clothes off, catching a glimpse of your soaking wet pussy and naked body in the dim light of your room.

She looks so fucking desperate, nearly tripping over her sweats as she tugs them off, tossing them somewhere else in your room. It's like she can't get the clothes off quick enough, immediately settling between your legs again once she's naked, groaning softly a the feeling of your pussy against her body.

Her eagerness makes you giggle, and Ellie feels like she's on cloud fucking nine when she hears it, so soft and gentle. She pouts softly, staring down at you while she's already moving to position her pussy over yours, tossing your leg over her shoulder.

"What are you laughing at...hm?" She questions softly, her hips slowly moving against yours as she lets out a soft moan, eyes never leaving yours.

You can barely get the words out, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel her slick pussy against yours, clits bumping together in a way that has you nearly salivating.

She chuckles above you, a soft groan following the noise as her lips graze along your calf.

"Thats what I thought...fuck....your pussy is too fuckin good, princess' She moans out softly, her hips moving slowly against yours.

You moan loudly, your hand coming to grip her thigh as you move your hips in tow with hers.

"F-fuck, Ellie....you...that feels so good" you babble out, your other hand gripping the sheets beneath you as she fucks her pussy down onto yours.

Ellie smirks softly as she watches you, watches the way you fall apart beneath her.

"Thats my fuckin girl....you're the only fucking one I need...fuck...." She groans, turning her head a bit to kiss your calf again before her teeth sink into you, biting and sucking your skin, making you moan loudly.

You feel her speed up, hips growing desperate as she chases both hers and your orgasm, making your head spin as your nails dig into her thigh, sure to leave marks in the morning.

"Im....god...Im close Ellie.....fuuuckkkk....dont stop" you gasp out, low, lust filled eyes staring up at her as she continues bullying your pussy with hers, both of your arousal squelching together, making the most explicit noise you've ever fucking heard.

"Come on baby...want you to cum for me...can you do that? Fuck...I feel it too....that's it, pretty girl.." Ellie is babbling too, her lust clouded braun barely uttering words that are comprehensible.

You see her eyes squeeze shut, her moans getting louder and more high pithed, sounding so fucking pretty above you.

You feel like you'll explode, your back arching as the familiar feeling settles in your core, your pussy getting wetter and wetter as you feel your orgasm grow closer.

"A-ah! Ellie!" You scream out as you come undone beneath her.

And she isn't far behind, leaning down and crashing her lips against yours, forcing you to swallow her moans as she cums hard against your pussy, the both of you breathing hard as her hips sputter, pussy sliding around sloppily against yours as she becomes so fucked out, that she loses her rhythm completely.

And just like before, she lays there, on top of you, trying to catch her breath, face tucked against your neck, hands keeping you close, as if you'll disappear in thin air at any given moment.

There's so much going through your head, trying to figure out what it is that happens from here, where you and here go, what steps to take after, all of which come up with blank answers whenever you try to figure out what to do.

You assume she will fall asleep on you as she did before, knock out immediately and leave you to lay there with your plaguing thoughts.

She doesn't, though. You hear a soft hum from her lips, her hands squeeze your waist gently, before she speaks against your neck.

"I love you...so much.." she sighs out, her voice breaking a bit as if shed break down at any given moment.

You aren't sure what you'll do from this point on, but you do know one thing.

You won't run away from Ellie, ever again.

[gyll-yee-haw]

im actually in love with all your donnie darko stuff, after being starved from donnie darko content you fed us

i was wondering if you could do a smut for him where reader squirts for the first time then he becomes obsessed with it and makes her do it over and over again?? tysm ^-^

Thank you so much, babyyy <333

I hadn't written too much about Donnie before, but I'm in love right now 🥺

Well, this is filthy, absolutely filthy (thanks you, I love it), overstimulation

Warnings: squirting, creampie, dirty talk, masturbation (m and f)

Like 1k words

---

"Come on, baby, I know we can find the spot... I don't mind if I have to fuck you in 13 different positions, do you?" He kisses your neck as you giggle.

"Are you sure, Don?" You sigh. "It was so messy..."

"Fuck, baby, it was..." he grabs your waist, keeping you still under him as he starts rubbing your clit slowly. "Can't get out of my head how fucking wet you got, it was amazing, wasn't it?"

You nodded, biting your lip at the memory of last night's activities, when Donnie made you squirt for the first time. Not even you were aware you could do that... all you remember was that he had you on all fours, gripping the sheets, balls deep inside of you... and something felt different. It wasn't like you were going to cum, it felt like you really needed to pee, out of nowhere. You were too embarrassed to ask him to stop, so you decided to try your best to just hold it. But he was fucking you so good, so hard... you just couldn't control your body very well.

And then it happened. You knew it wasn't pee, it was something you had never experienced before... but it was followed by a whole new sensation of relief, and by Donnie moaning like a wild animal at how hot that was.

And when the two of you woke up the next morning, he was rock hard just remembering it. He needed you to do that again.

"Oh, Donnie... feels so good..." you bucked your hips as he rubbed your swollen clit faster.

"I know, sweetheart." He slowed down until he stopped, making you moan in frustration, trying to grind on his hand. "Shh... hey... it's okay, I'll give you what you need. But you can't come yet, okay? Need you desperate."

"But... but what if I can't do it again? You won't be disappointed, will you?" You felt anxious.

"No! Of course not!" He looked at you with a mix of worry and absolute passion. "I just want to try it, okay? Nothing in this world could make me love this pretty pussy any less, my angel."

You smiled, spreading your legs wider, as a sign you didn't want to waste any more time. He returned your smile, staring to stroke his dick dangerously close to your entrance.

He entered you slowly, hissing at the way you squeezed him. He began thrusting gently, until you soaked and welcomed his entire length.

"Deeper, Donnie..."

"Fuck, say that again, my love." He smirked at your dirty talk.

"You have to get deeper, you were so deep yesterday..." you moaned more than you felt like you had to, just to give him a show.

He helped you rest your legs on his shoulders as he started going faster.

"Is this deep enough for you?" He chuckled as he watched your eyes roll back at how good he was hitting that exact spot at this new position. "You sure as hell feel tighter... fuck!"

"Donnie!" Your legs started shaking. "Think... think I'm gonna do it..."

"Fuck, baby, please..." one of his hands went to your belly, applying pressure right where you felt his cock already pressuring enough. "Push it out for me, you can do it, pretty girl..."

You felt it rush out of you harder than the last time. On the position you were this time, you could see it soak his belly. It was so hot, it made you dig your nails on his back, enough to make him bleed.

"Fucking hell, oh jesus..." Donnie cried out, fucking you harder than ever. "You're such a good girl..."

"Donnie, I need to cum, please, give it to me..." you begged.

"Yeah? Hurry up, baby... you soaked my cock too fucking good for me to be able to hold it..." he said before crashing him lips into yours on a passionate kiss, hand sliding between your legs to rub your clit again.

Luckily you weren't able to hold it either, pussy contracting around his cock as you came hard. He filled you up seconds after, he couldn't even think about cuming anywhere else when he was that deep inside you.

And when he pulled out, he could have cried at that scene. The way you were soaked from squirting, plus his cum dripping out of you...

"Keep your legs spread for me, baby, don't move..." he asked, and you obeyed.

You looked at him in shock, as you saw he was stroking himself... cock not even fully hard, because that would be humanly impossible.

"Too hot, baby, can't waste this sight..." he whined pathetically, absolutely overstimulated, but physically unable to stop.

"Careful not to hurt yourself, Donnie." You mocked him. "I'm not going anywhere... there's no rush..."

"I know, but..." his cock throbbed as his hand moved up and down, making an obscene wet sound. "Too hot, feel like... need to cum more..."

"Right... get those balls fucking empty for me, then..." you gathered his cum, leaking out of you, rubbing it over you clit, starting to touch yourself for him.

Yes, it did hurt a little, but you understood him. You craved more.

The two of you moaned in sync, smell of sex in the air and sheets absolutely ruined under you. None of that mattered at the time.

Donnie came first. Shooting his load directly into your clit while you rubbed it. That scene and the extra lubrication it gave you had you throwing your head back and screaming his name as you came hard.

Took a while for the two of you to be able to talk again.

"We need a shower." He chuckled, watching your filthy state.

"That's easy." You shrugged. "But you're gonna need a new mattress if you keep making me do that..."

"Sounds worth it to me."

[blitzyn]

prospect

toji fushiguro x m!reader

request: none

a/n -> sighs and explodes i need this man injected in my blood right NOW. nobody will be able to convince me that this man doesn’t have a breeding kink. sometimes i forget im writing for real people on a real platform and it jump scares me when people comment on my work. but in a good way ofc i love seeing people’s thoughts on my stuff. ANYWAYS. REQS.

wc -> 4.7k words of filth LMAO

cw -> anal fingering, anal sex, spit as lube, throat fucking, using “pussy” and “cunt” as a synonym, mild impact play, breeding kink, mirror sex, finger hooking, bondage, begging, brief gun play, when i say “little” i mean that in a condescending sorta way and not bc the reader is described to be petite and tiny, not beta read obv

"You're a tricky one, I'll give you that," is the first thing the man before you said. It'd been quite a while since the first time the two of you met in a dingy bar hidden in the sketchier parts of town. He hadn't been trying to kill you then - he was but a fellow patron eager to ruin his liver. Originally, he had a strange gut feeling about you. Like a pretty thing like you wasn't all it seemed, but he shrugged it off after a well-placed look from you offering to buy a couple more rounds.

So when he's given another job, the first thing he does is laugh. He didn't really mean it at first, but really, the irony was hilarious. The guy he nearly got to fuck was his current target: [Name] [L.Name], a rising Jujutsu Sorcerer. He obviously wasn't as strong as the esteemed Gojo Satoru or Geto Suguru, but he was advancing a little faster than many would've liked.

"Thanks. I tried," you replied, seeming much too relaxed for a man about to be assassinated. You were currently stuck on the floor with your arms tied behind your back and your legs bound together by plain, old, ordinary rope. You were a little embarrassed, truthfully, to have been caught by such a mundane trap like this.

You struggled against your restraints a bit, sighing in defeat when you only served to remind yourself just how stuck you were. "These are pretty secure," you started, giving the man before you a laidback smirk. "You experienced?"

Toji gave you a quizzical look for a moment before breaking out in an amused grin, resting his handgun against his shoulder. He definitely wasn't expecting his target to start flirting with him instead of pleading for his life like he was used to. But he'll entertain you for a while. "You could say that."

You huffed through your nose, your eyes lazily flitting around the room. You were making your way back inside the abandoned building you chose to hide in when you suddenly found yourself tied up. It took you a moment to realize you couldn't move when he appeared in front of you, but even less to recognize him as the man you almost got to sleep with. "I would've loved to have you tie me up back then, but this wasn't really what I was thinking about."

"Your phone's a real cockblock, huh?" He chuckled lightly, in an almost mocking manner from what you managed to detect in his voice. "Can't even begin to imagine how long you've had to go without gettin' laid."

You rolled your eyes like he wasn't only there to kill you and get his money. "Don't get me started. There's always something new I have to kill every fuckin' second. My boss thinks it's great training to go out whenever I can."

Right. Technically, you weren't a fully-fledged Sorcerer. You had more of a vigilante-esque vibe to you. You hadn't attended either Jujutsu High School in Tokyo or Kyoto as well, only taught by your family and experiences. Not that that really mattered anyway. You fought, you got strong, and now someone put a hit on you.

You sighed, shifting your body to a more comfortable position before tilting your head back against the wall. “This is the part where I beg for my life, right?” You questioned rhetorically, with an almost bored expression on your face before your eyes lit up with an idea. “I’m not too good at that, but I am good at begging for something else.”

Toji raised an eyebrow in intrigue, unable to fight off the grin at the obvious implication. He didn’t stop you from shamelessly checking him out, but he cut your ogle session short regardless.

“Yeah? Care to elaborate?” He made his way closer, crouching in front of you to get a better view of your face. He knew what you were asking for. He just wanted to know if you’d follow through with it.

Maybe it was the adrenaline making you bold, knowing that he could easily kill you with the pull of a trigger—or maybe it was just because he was really fucking hot. With a quick, obvious glance to his crotch (you could see the imprint of his dick through his sweatpants), you spoke clearly. “I want you to fuck me.”

He liked how forward you were, how unafraid you were to say what you wanted. He swiped his tongue over his lips and nearly laughed at how your eyes darted downwards to watch it. “You call that beggin’?” He taunted, raising his arm to press the tip of his gun against your chin to tilt your head up. “Do it right.”

A shudder ran through your body at his demand, leaving a trail of heat that settled right into your groin. You felt hyper aware of everything—of the cool metal on your skin, of the faint gunpowder scent emanating from the barrel, of your heartbeat thrumming so hard you briefly wondered if he could hear it.

“Oh, please, Mr. Fushiguro,” you whined, staring up at him through your lashes pleadingly. You tried to squeeze your thighs together as you squirmed, attempting to provide your hardening dick friction. “Please fuck me. I’ve been thinking about this whole time. I need it so much.”

“Well, aren’t you a confident little thing,” he remarked with a thoughtful hum, carefully inspecting your reactions. “But what makes you think I won’t just kill you and get my money?”

“Because you haven’t yet,” you replied with a smug undertone in your voice, like you figured him all out. Although, when he dragged his gun up towards your lips, a brief wave of fear washed down your body, settling deep in your chest.

“Really? That’s all you’re going off of?” He tilted his head, watching you through the dark curtain of hair that fell over his piercing eyes. “That’s cute.” He held his finger over the trigger, teasingly flexing it before relaxing just as fast. He found it funny how your confident facade slipped away the moment you remembered that you weren’t talking to a casual friend—that the Sorcerer Killer himself was staring you down the barrel of his gun. But, apparently, that’s what got you all hot and bothered.

“I didn’t think you’d be this desperate.” His scarred lips curled upwards in a predatory grin as he nudged the tip of his gun against your mouth, prying it open. You fought the urge to squirm when he pushed it further, jaw straining, but you tried your best to comply. “You seemed all mysterious ‘n’ unassuming back at the bar. What happened to that? Got me feelin’ like I got the wrong person with the way you’re actin’.”

You tried to shake your head while a garbled noise left your throat, but he kept you firmly in place as he pushed it as far as he could go. Even as you squinted, it was hard not to practically eyefuck him where you sat. Your watery irises trailed over the length of his arm, tracing the bulging veins that patterned over his forearm, dipping back underneath his skin before reappearing in his thick bicep. His shirt did little to hide his chest, squeezing in just the right places to render any woman jealous.

You couldn’t stop your gaze from wandering down, down towards his legs, zeroing in on the dick print he so obviously flaunted like a trophy. Your mouth watered, suddenly finding it hard to swallow. You slid your tongue over the rough metal, imagining that it was his cock stretching your eager throat wide open; imagining the salty taste of his precum, of the scent of his musk, of—

“My eyes’re up here, pretty boy,” he interrupted, pressing the gun up against your palate to snap you out of your stupor and avert your gaze. “If you’re gonna deny bein’ a slut, at least act like it.”

He pulled it out of your drooling mouth, wiping the string of saliva off on your cheek before setting it on the floor with a dull thud. Your face was messy, chest heaving up and down as you panted, expectantly waiting for him to continue like a lost puppy.

“You’re so damn easy,” he commented teasingly, reaching down to palm his cock through his pants. It throbbed under his touch, leaking precum and straining against the fabric. “If I’da known all it took for you to get all nice ‘n’ compliant f’me was a dick down your throat, I’d have my money by now.” There was a hint of honesty to his voice that you couldn’t even find in yourself to protest.

“Please…” you breathlessly whined, trying to writhe out of your binds, but it was tied too tightly around your body to free yourself. “I want it. Stop messing with me.”

“I know.” He reached down to shift you onto your knees, steadying you with a firm hand on the back of your neck. You watched him slide his free hand under his pants to pull his thick cock out, eyes fixated on the leaking tip. He wrapped it around the shaft and leisurely jerked himself off, the wet sounds of his precum sliding along the shaft mixing in with your labored breaths and his quiet groans.

Finally, after what felt like decades, he shuffled forward just enough to press himself against your lips, finding little need to nudge his way inside when you so eagerly parted them for him. You let out a pleased noise at the taste of his precum, beginning to squint and fight the urge to gag when he refused to stop until your nose was buried in his pubes. He held you there for a moment, enjoying the sight of your throat bulging to accommodate his cock.

“You’re takin’ me in so easily,” he purred, sighing in satisfaction at the feeling of your tongue tracing over a prominent vein, making him twitch in your mouth. “Is this what you do? Use your body to live a little longer? 'Cause I gotta say, whatever you're doin' is really payin' off."

You visibly preened at his praise, feeling your dick strain against the fabric of your pants. He let you move at your own pace, watching you hollow your cheeks and slide and bob your head up and down. He was thick and long and made your jaw ache in the best way, utterly infatuated with his scent, with his taste, with the way he let you go at your own pace—but you knew better. You knew that he could easily take that control away from you and fuck your face.

You kind of wished he did, honestly.

With a bit of effort, you pulled away from his cock, breathing heavily. Your voice was shaky but it was firm, determined to get what you wanted. “Fuck my throat,” you demanded, staring up at him through your lashes. He gave you an intrigued smile, clearly pleased with your eagerness to be used like a toy.

“You sure? ‘Cause I’m not stoppin’ til I cum,” he warned. He hardly gave you enough time to reply before he held the base of his cock, gently tapping the tip against your slick lips to get you to open up wide again, obviously unconcerned with your response. “But if you really insist, then who am I to say no to a pretty thing like you?”

He adjusted his stance, towering over you with both his hands atop your head. He allowed you to take a deep breath before pulling you to him just as he shoved his cock back down your throat. You were still unused to him, nearly choking at the sudden movement, feeling tears pool along your lashes. You could’ve sworn his musk was an actual aphrodisiac. It was all you could smell, filling up your nostrils to render your mind a pathetically fuzzy mess.

“Thaaaat’s it,” he drawled out, staring you down with enough heat in his eyes to practically glue you to the floor. You weren’t even sure if you’d get up and leave if he gave you the chance to. Probably not, frankly. Not with the way his strong hands so easily kept you in place, nor with how he strained your jaw—infatuated with every inch and vein and his salty precum. “Take it all, baby.”

He chuckled to himself, not bothering to hide the condescension in his voice. “But I didn’t need to tell you that, huh? Is this muscle memory takin’ over?” Despite his words, his brows were furrowed, focused on thrusting his hips, stoking the rising fire in his abdomen. His rhythmic groans were music to your ears, mixing in with your wet gags and the faint sound of his balls slapping your chin.

“Fuck,” he panted, taking one hand off to wipe your hair off of your forehead and get a look at your watery, unfocused eyes. It sent a heat down his spine that made his cock jolt at the sight of your blissed out face. “You’re so damn tight… gonna make me cum.”

“Is that what you want?” He grunted, digging his fingertips into your skin. “Y’think it’s what you deserve?” For a moment, you were worried he was going to stop. But he didn’t really, instead he kept you still, holding you at a distance to make sure you didn’t accidentally pass out. “I wanna hear you beg for it.”

You blinked your tears away and looked up at him, squinting, confused when he hadn’t let you go yet. It took you a second to piece together what he wanted of you, and felt the burn of embarrassment trickle down your spine and settle into your chest when you did. He wanted you to beg with his cock in your mouth. You were quiet, unsure how to respond without choking and coughing into next week.

“C’mon,” he persisted, his scarred lips lifting in a grin. “I know a little slut like you can do it.”

With a deep breath, you attempted to get your words out through muffled sounds that very vaguely sounded like sentences. It was humiliating—letting him use you to entertain himself like this, but it was an exhilarating feeling that made your cock twitch and throb, aching to be touched.

“Sorry, what was that?” He questioned mockingly, expression laced with faux concern. “Do you mind repeating that?”

You paused, staring up at him pleadingly, but when that didn’t seem to work, you tried again. Drool seeped out the corners of your lips, trailing down your chin. It was hard to breathe and form coherent thoughts. Your cock throbbed and ached to be touched, finding your pants to be uncomfortably suffocating.

“Was that so hard?” He questioned rhetorically as he tugged your face close again, savoring the feeling of your throat squeezing around his dick before beginning to fuck it. He groaned when he felt you run your tongue over the veins, the vibrations of your voice sending heat through his body that he eagerly chased.

He swore under his breath, panting, focused on the tightening coil in his abdomen. “Shit—I’m about to—fuck—cum.”

You moaned when you felt him still, pressing your face into his pelvis to make sure every drop of his cum went down your throat. It was difficult to swallow, letting your eyes flutter shut until he was finished. Your vision was a bit blurry when he finally decided to pull away, leaving you gasping and panting.

“I want—I need you to fuck me,” you slurred, desire flashing brightly in your eyes. Your voice was raw and hoarse and raspy, but there was no hiding your desperation. “Please. I need it so bad it fucking hurts. Please, Fushiguro.”

“I just got done cumming down your throat and you’re already askin’ for more?” He chuckled condescendingly, reaching out to swipe the pad of his thumb along your chin to gather the mix of saliva cum. He brought it to your lips, watching you wrap them around his finger and suck the fluids off his skin. “You needy whore. You’re lucky I’m not in any rush right now.”

With a swift hand, he untied the rope holding your legs together to lead you to a different spot, confident that you wouldn’t make a break for it. Not that you could nor wanted to, anyways.

The mirror before you was dusty and cracked, but it still served its purpose well. He kicked your legs apart and brought you back down to your knees, lowering himself behind you with a firm grip on the back of your neck. You nearly came on the spot when he squeezed your aching cock, hips jerking needily, but he let go in the blink of an eye to unzip your pants and bring them down far enough to expose your ass. He brought two fingers to your lips and dipped them inside your mouth with his other hand, coating them with your saliva rather haphazardly.

He swiftly brought them back down, running them over your balls and perineum teasingly, grinning at your sharp intake of breath. He slid the pads of them over your hole, just barely pushing them through to feel the resistance give way before pulling them back out.

“I swear to god, I’ll—“ you tried to threaten, only to be cut off by a whorish moan that Toji managed to tear from your lips when he shoved his fingers inside you. They pressed against your prostate, firm and unrelenting, rubbing it just the slightest bit to keep you reeling. The sudden stretch fucking burned as you clamped down on him like a vice, wincing and groaning.

“You’ll what?” He urged, eyes fixated on your face, watching every single muscle twitch, noticing the way your cock spurt a fresh stream of precum down the throbbing shaft. “C’mon, don’t get all shy on me now. What were you saying?”

He thrust his fingers in and out slowly, emphasizing the wet squelching sounds of your asshole. You could feel his breaths brushing against your heated skin, sending shivers up and down your spine that ended in your fingertips. Your knees ached and your arms were growing numb from being tied back for so long but you figured you could ignore it for a little while longer if it meant you’d get what you wanted. His dick, namely.

“I’ll—agh, fuck—I’ll…” you trailed off, hardly able to form a coherent sentence with the way he massaged your prostate so perfectly. “Just… just shut up,” you muttered finally, breathless and unfocused as you stared at the spot you connected from the reflection in the old mirror. A subtle feeling of embarrassment settled in your heaving chest when you heard the raspy sound of his chuckle.

“Is that it?” He taunted, locking eyes with you. His free hand slid upwards, teasing your nipples through your shirt to watch you squirm. “I thought you’d put up more of a fight. I’m startin’ to question whether or not you’re really some hotshot Sorcerer.”

It was hard to refute him when you looked the way you did—all messy and disheveled and desperate, hard for the man supposed to kill you. You were completely unlike yourself hardly half an hour ago, but you barely gave a shit. How could you when the hottest man you’ve ever seen was behind you, fingerfucking your eager hole? Chances like these don’t come often to you, that’s for sure.

You shivered and moaned, leaning back against his chest. Your hips practically moved on their own accord, thighs flexing to keep yourself upright as you tried to fuck yourself on his thick digits. Toji could see the way your eyes unfocused and glossed over with understimulated tears, frustrated and horribly pent-up.

He gave your prostate a quick jab, firm enough to intensify the heated coil in your belly, but too fast to savor. He wasn’t planning on giving in to you so easily as he avoided your sensitive spot, instead moving his fingers in a scissoring motion to stretch you out.

“God—stop doing that,” you pleaded. You felt like an open book, unable to stop yourself from furrowing your eyebrows in annoyance or conceal the painstakingly obvious glint of hunger in your pupil-blown irises.

“Quit whinin’ and maybe I’ll consider it,” he murmured gruffly, enraptured by the way you writhed and squirmed and looked just downright pathetic. You both knew he wouldn’t, not when all the others he’s fucked couldn’t hold a candle to your pliant little body. You knew why he was there in the first place, but still, you remained there on your knees even when he untied them.

You nearly let out a sob when he curled his fingers again, offering you the barest of touches to your prostate that sent liquid fire coursing through your veins.

“Fuck, please,” you begged, yet again. You didn’t know much of this you could take or how long it’d be until he caved. God, was it so much to ask for a man to fuck you stupid?!

“I want your cock inside me so bad, fucking me fast ‘n’ hard ‘n’ deep,” you slurred, hardly able to maintain even the barest shred of dignity. You looked into his deep, green eyes through the mirror’s reflection, hoping he’d relent.

“Yeah? Y’want me in this slutty pussy?” He purred, sliding his slick fingers out of your twitching hole to give it a sharp slap. You jolted just as a spurt of precum slid down your hard cock, leaking onto your clothed, heaving abdomen. He chuckled breathlessly as he leisurely rubbed your puffy rim with the pad of a finger. “You should’ve just said so.”

He wiped his fingers off on the back of your shirt, offering you an oblivious shrug when you glared at him through the mirror. Your knees ached when he had you lean forward a little, placing your more of your weight on the poor joints as he reached down to quickly jerk himself off before tapping the tip of his dick on your asshole one, two, three quick times.

It felt like he was splitting you apart when he finally decided to push through after spitting on your hole, groaning at the way you squeezed around him tighter than a damn virgin. It hurt like a bitch. Of course it did—you made him rush and he was using less than ideal lube, but, God, you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t feel so fucking good.

You watched him lean back a little and hold you by the ropes binding your arms together, rolling his hips experimentally, only to grind his cockhead into your prostate so deliciously you saw stars. A searing heat enveloped your body, blinding you with white that took you far too long to come down from. Opening your eyes (you didn’t even realize you closed them), you instantly spotted your twitching cock drooling cum onto the floor. Fuck. He didn’t even start and you came.

“That was so damn fast.” He couldn’t be bothered to stop the hint of a laugh from leaving his throat. With his free hand, he reached down and gave your throbbing dick a squeeze, stroking it with a tight grip to milk out the rest of your cum.

You shuddered and trembled, biting your lip to stifle your moans. He let go to stuff two of his slick fingers in your mouth, careless with how deep he forced them in. Not that you really minded as you swirled your tongue around his skin, readily cleaning it off. You locked eyes, keeping your expression firm in a weak attempt to regain even a sliver of composure when he suddenly moved, giving you a quick, harsh thrust that nearly knocked the air out of your lungs.

He shifted his fingers, curling them as they pulled on your cheek, tugging at the flesh until he forces your mouth wide open. You couldn’t stop your tongue from lolling out, jaw slack as you drooled and whined and cried every time he rammed his thick cock into your eager fuckhole. He was relentless—pounding into you fast and hard and deep, just like you begged for so prettily.

“Fuuuck,” he groaned, digging his fingertips into the flesh of your hip hard enough to leave bruises, arms flexing to yank you back as soon as he pulled out. “Your pussy’s so damn tight,” he panted, brows furrowed in focus, relishing in the sound of his hips slapping your ass and your whorish moans. “M’gonna make sure your messy little cunt remembers my cock by the time I’m finished with you.”

“Uh-huh, mhm,” you nodded, hands itching to grab onto his biceps, his back, something to ground yourself while he churned your insides to mush. It was nigh impossible to think or breathe or speak, but it felt so fucking good.

“Awh, look at yourself,” he cooed, his voice slightly jumpy as he let go of your mouth to roughly pat your cheek, forcing you out of your stupor to make you stare at your reflection. “Are you out of it already? Should I stop?” He questioned, his raspy voice laced with faux concern.

“No! N-No,” you stammered, finding it difficult to comprehend what he was saying until moments later, alerted by the word “stop”. “Don’t stop! Ohh, oh god, please don’t stop!”

You’re so, so sensitive and so full, and you can feel him losing his rhythm. His cock is heavy in your stomach and you swear through your addled brain it’s weighing you down as a trail of precum connects your heated bodies together, frothing between your thighs and his balls.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he grunted, gritting his teeth. He could feel the burning coil in his abdomen intensify with each passing second, and suddenly he’s speeding up, pistoning into you with loud and sloppy thrusts. His green eyes are locked on your swollen and puffy hole sucking him in with a vice grip, watching his cock slide in and out, in and out, over and over again until you’re cumming hard, shaking and convulsing.

“That’s it,” he growls, the sound low and deep. It went straight into your stomach, sparks lighting up under your skin as your hips jerk, unsure whether you want to endure the building overstimulation or move away. “M’gonna cum so deep inside your pretty little pussy I’ll knock you up,” he murmured in your ear, dragging a canine down your neck to clamp his teeth down on the flesh. “Y’want that? To be my breeding bitch?”

You sobbed, unable to answer, but he didn’t need one. Not when your body spoke for you.

He fucked the air out of your lungs one, two, three more times, feeling his balls tighten until he finally came, spilling his cum so deep inside you, you were sure it’d stay there for weeks. You moaned, savoring the warmth that spread through your body with each spurt of his cum that coated your velvety insides, trying to catch your breath before you had to move.

Toji sighed in satisfaction, pulling out after a few moments. He watched your fucked-out hole clench around nothing as it leaked with his seed, spreading one of your asscheeks to get a better view before giving it a final pat.

You didn’t realize he cut the ropes holding your arms behind your back until you nearly fell face-first onto the floor, catching yourself with your numb hands.

“Ow… fuck,” you cursed at the sharp stinging sensation that ran up your arms, shaking them uselessly in an attempt to restore the blood flow faster.

“You were better than I thought you’d be,” he hummed, getting up to fix his clothes. He grabbed his handgun from off the ground, holding it against his shoulder as he stared you down. “But you have three days. Make ‘em count.”

You weren’t oblivious to know that he was giving you a three-day recovery period before he began hunting you again. Even then, you couldn’t stop the shiver of excitement from running through your spine at the prospect of seeing him again.

You grinned, breathless and shaky but confident nonetheless. It was unlikely he’d fuck you once he found you, but a man could dream. "I will."

cross-posted on ao3

[quantum1mmortality]

If Kung lao yelled at me to make him a sandwich I’d make it for him in a heartbeat- I’d make him a full course meal- but ahem-

I got the idea of Kung lao and his lover going at it then raiden accidentally walks in but instead of like immediately leaving he gets aroused by the sight and ends up joining in with the permission of Kung Lao and his lover-

I'd be in the kitchen so fast. Absolutely no questions other than what he wants on it. He could spit in my face and I'd thank him

STOOPOOOOOLL OMFG IM NOT GINNA MAKE THIS A FULL LENGTH FIC JUST HCS BUT OH MY GOD THIS IS SO GOOD

tw/cw: AFAB reader, threesome, very dirty and horny id fuck them both, Raiden so HAWNY, Kung Lao gets off to seeing reader get off how caring, I crack jokes in these types of fics sue me

Not proofread fuck you

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You and Kung Lao have been dating for quite a while now, two years to be exact. More than enough time for you to be introduced to his friends and more than enough time for you both to start experiencing more sexual things in relationships

Kung Lao is a very insatiable man. He's always in the mood but would never force you to do anything, it's always up to you. With this, you've been exploring many things with him

Kung Lao is always down to try something at least once. All you have to do is ask him and he'll be right there with you

He was actually the one to bring up a threesome, surprisingly enough. And you both decide theres only one person that would ever make sense to choose: Raiden.

It was extremely obvious since you first met him a year and a half ago that he had a thing for you. You didn't mind, neither did Kung Lao, even as his best friend. In fact, Kung Lao would often tease him about it, mainly because he knows Raiden wouldn't do anything

Raiden would often get rosy cheeks when you were around. And if you even spoke a word to him, he'd be stuttering and sweating profusely

Lao had confessed to you that ever since he realized his best friend had a thing for you, he'd been fantasizing about a threesome. Gotta share a slice with the homies

You two spoke about it for a few nights before settling on Lao asking him, that way it isn't too awkward to talk about

So here you were, in a mating press with your boyfriend as he pounds into you, quickly but gently. Leaning down to suck on your neck as he whispers praises into your ear.

It was the night before you had scheduled to ask Raiden about anything, fucking each other for the upteenth time that day to help Kung Lao vent a bit of stress from the training earlier

You'd talked about Raiden before starting this particular session, until Kung Lao decided he wanted to skip proper formalities.

While you were both lost in the sauce, you hadn't even heard a light knock on the door. And then another. And another.

It had been drowned out by the sound of skin on skin and moans filling the air. That was until Kung Lao halted his movements suddenly. Opening your eyes that were previously screwed shut in pleasure, you look up to see your boyfriend looking at the now open door that has his best friend standing in the doorway.

The three of you are silent as Raiden took in the scene before him, a painfully obvious tent growing in his pants. You and your boyfriend look at each other briefly, exchanging small nods and looking back at Raiden

Raiden realizes how long he's been staring at the two of you and covers his face in embarrassment. He began to stammer out an apology while trying his best not to look at the two of you. "I-I'm so sorry, I just wanted to talk to Kung Lao about something- I'll go no-"

"Raiden." Kung Lao interrupted him harshly. He turned back around, looking his friends in the eyes as he began to turn red again. "Do... You wanna join us?" Lao gives him a soft smile for reassurance as he helps you lean against the headboard.

Raiden thinks for a minute before taking a small step forward and taking his hat off. You and Kung Lao both smile as he began to undress himself more, leaving him in just his boxers as he slowly crawled into the bed, awaiting any sort of protest.

When none arose, and instead Kung Lao began to guide his hands to the inside of your thighs, he began to sweat. "You can apply some pressure if you want, she can handle it." Kung Lao said with a smile as he led Raidens hands to your heat.

"Go ahead. You can touch her if you'd like, she's already prepared so you can fuck her now if you really wanted to." Kung Lao glanced over at you as you nodded your head in content. Raiden sat for a moment as he went over his options a bit more.

He finally decided on taking the chance while he has it and began to take his boxers off. As he was doing this, Kung Lao decided to go to the side of the bed, opting to simply observe. As Raiden grabs your thighs and aligns himself with your hole, he silently asks for permission before pushing himself in once granted.

Raiden leaves out a whine as he begins to thrust into you. You begin to cling into him, digging your nails into his back as he increased his pace

He was gripping at your hips and breathing heavily into your ear as he thrusted into you so hard you could feel the headboard slam against the wall.

Soft pleas and moans escaped his lips as he grew closer and closer to his orgasm. "Please-please- I need you-" he repeated as he started to whimper louder and louder into your ears

Kung Lao could tell he was getting close by how loud he was. "Outside." He said sternly, luckily Raiden got the memo and pulled out, cumming on your stomach and collapsing onto you.

As you both caught your breath, you could hear your boyfriend in the bathroom getting a washcloth. When he came back, he handed it to Raiden who then began cleaning you and himself.

When he was done, he stood up and got dressed. The silence in the room was maddening as he walked to the door. Before he could open it, Kung Lao called his name, making him face the two of you.

"Come over again sometime. I'll show you how to make her feel some pleasure too." He said with a cocky grin on his face. Raidens head was practically a tomato as he sped out the door, leaving the two of you simply laughing to yourselves

Kung Lao crawled back into bed and planted himself on you again, kissing you up and down. "Now then, where were we?"

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A/n: to everyone who has been using my ask bar as a way to send me kung lao edits and pictures, I love you

[heartsoji]

CAN I HAVE A KISS?

synopsis: in which you see him off

starring nagi seishiro, chigiri hyoma, itoshi sae

warning! chigiri's is a little steamy? but its pretty chill

inspired by the song "see you again"

N. SEISHIRO

"uuugh" nagi groaned into your chest as reo rolled his eyes in the background. "dont wanna go.."

you chuckled fondly as you ruffled his fluffy hair. "it'll be over before you know it."

"noooooo" he whined, shoving his tall frame onto your smaller one. "i dont wanna go! i wanna just stay here with youuuu"

"sei! you're crushing me!"

"dont care."

"..reo! help!"

reo sighed as he plucked nagi off of you. "come on, nagi. we've gotta go."

he groaned. "but its so much of a hassle.."

"too bad. say your last words."

he sighed and mumbled something under his breath before turning his attention back to you.

"can i get a kiss?"

"hm?"

"and can you make it last forever?" he puppy eye-d you.

"im about to go to WAR"

"boy."

"and i dont know if im gonna see you again.."

"NAGI! stop being so dramatic! we're leaving soon. hurry it up."

nagi whined, but then turned his attention back to you. "so.. kiss?"

you planted a sweet kiss to his lips as reo cringed in the background. "it'll be over before you know it. i love you, ok?"

nagi nodded and engulfed you in a huge hug. "i love you too."

"ok, loverboy, thats enough. lets go."

"just a few more minutes.."

"WE'RE LEAVING"

C. HYOMA

it had been awkward between you and hyoma lately.

his whole injury thing had taken a toll on not only his mental health and soccer career, but also your relationship.

still, you wanted to see him off nonetheless.

"be safe," you said awkwardly. "hope its fun."

he chuckled stiffly. "thanks."

there was a long pause where neither of you said anything. the air was tense, and you hated it.

"well," you said, "i'll see you when its over, then."

panic flooded his senses as you began to leave. "wait." he said, grabbing your wrist.

when you turned around to look at him, he averted his gaze. "can i have a kiss?"

your eyes widened in surprise.

"..what?"

you hadn't had any form of real communication since he got injured, and now he's suddenly asking for a kiss?

he let go of you. "uh.. sorry. you dont have to if you dont wa-"

you cut him off with a deep kiss, wanting to taste his lips. his eyes widened a little before returning it, hands in your hair.

when you released for air, you whispered, "i'll make it last forever," before going in for a second round.

after you both pulled away, breathless, chigiri smiled and gazed at you gently, caressing a lock of your hair, trying to remain composed, but his red face giving his real mental state away. "well, sounds like this blue lock thing's gonna be like a war. i dont know how long it'll be until i see you again."

you chuckled fondly. "i'll wait for you, hyoma."

his pretty smile caught the attention of passerby. (um mr. no-pda what r u doing but wtv) "ok. thanks."

he turned around to go, but it was you who grabbed his wrist this time.

"i love you, hyoma."

his gaze softened. "i love you too."

I. SAE

"so you're really leaving for spain, sae?" you mumbled, though you already knew the answer. when you got no response, you sighed and pulled him in for a hug. "i'm gonna miss you."

he hugged you back and squeezed you tight. "me too."

"don't forget about me in spain, ok?"

"ok."

"make sure to call me, ok?"

"ok."

"dont forget! ever week, or every day if possible! ok?"

"ok."

you sighed. "i love you, sae."

to the untrained eye, sae's expression remained the same. the same cold, harsh one that could pierce through walls. but to someone experienced like you, you saw how his expression softened ever so slightly. "i love you too."

lip beginning to quiver, you asked, "can i get a kiss?"

he hesitated, as he was in public, but quickly pressed a kiss to your cheek.

you smiled. "and can you make it last forever? you're about to go to war, y'know."

he rolled his eyes at the dramatic phrasing but gave you a slower, deeper kiss to the lips regardless.

"and i dont know if im gonna see you again!"

he gently pressed a fist to your head jokingly, letting out an 'idiot.' however, although the phrasing wasn't entirely true, he knew exactly what you meant and how you felt. (this guy? mr. no-feelings? ok.) he was sure that he'd see you again at some point, but he had no idea how long that would be. he really wanted to be with you, but he also wanted to pursue his dream, which was nearly within his grasp, and spain was the only place he could do that right now.

you began to tear up. "im really gonna miss you."

"i know. me too."

you were never very good at goodbyes. you didnt even take leaving his house well. but realizing that suddenly, your boyfriend was going to be in a whole different country with a whole different language and a whole different time zone without you, hit you harder than you could've ever expected. it filled you with an indescribable emotion of sadness, fear, emptiness, and more. you didnt want to, as you wanted to stay strong for sae, but you began to cry. tears streamed down your face as your buried your head in his chest, sobbing like a child.

as you cried, your tears on his sweatshirt, you began to wonder if maybe you were annoying sae. maybe he just wanted to leave and get this over with, but you were holding him back and he was just being nice by not turning his back and leaving. however, the way he held you back and pressed a small kiss to your head as he kept you firmly in his grasp told you that although he didnt express it like you did, he, too, was feeling an indescribable feeling. it told you that even though it would be hard, it would work out.

you sighed, laughing slightly, and pulled away from the hug. "well, i guess i'll be seeing you some other time, then."

"i guess so," he answered.

"bye, sae."

"bye, y/n."

you cried on the way home, once you got home, and the days that followed. you felt so lonely now that he was gone, but the daily 'goodmorning,' 'how are you,' and 'goodnight' texts helped you through it. your personal favorite, however, was the daily 'i love you' text.

(spoiler alert: his favorite was the 'i love you too' text)

heartsoji 𑁍 please do not steal, plagiarize, or repost onto any platform. thank you!

[etfrin]

god okayokay

reader is dewey and gale's daughter and apart of the "core 5" (reader, mindy, chad, tara and sam) and dated amber freeman in the past. though has severe ptsd from what had happened a year ago (and the fact that reader saw her dad die and almost died with him, if it wasnt for the fact that they managed to stable her) and reader killed amber to avenge her father thinking by killing amber brutally would make up for dewey. thought if she hunted down her father's killer, she'd feel better.

present time, she's living with chad and ethan in their dorm. her and ethan are in a relatively healthy relationship, but she never opened up about amber or what exactly happened back in woodsboro because she wasnt ready. in fact, he never even seen her without a shirt on (because of the scars from amber and richie), but once he walked in at the wrong time while she was changing in complete accident (since they share a room) and he apologizes PROFUSELY but he cant help but stare. hes not even disgusted hes just kind of mesmerized by her. she gets insecure abt them and he lays her down and asks her abt them, how she got them. some scars were actually from stupid little things like slipping on a skateboard while carrying around a knife in a sheath that wasnt secured all the way so reader started carrying around switchblades after that (which she used to kill amber.) but he cant help but kiss them and tell her abt how beautiful she looks with them. so im just saying switch virgin! ethan and switch experienced reader (lost her v card to quinn first staying there but its a brief thing and isnt mentioned after that) just really soft sex between the two, ethan being a caring bf and after, realizes hes fucked up because hes genuinely fallen heads over heels for the girl he should hate. he knows he cant kill her, so now he doesnt know whats more important; avenging richie or being with the one he loves. choosing between his family, or choosing a life he wouldn't have with anyone else with someone that he loves more than life itself.

may had of gone overboard but im in love w this whole idea

↳❝Scars | Ethan Landry❞ˎˊ-

Warning - NSFW | p in v sex, fingering (f. receiving), creampie, unprotected sex (wrap it dumbfucks), loss of virginity (Ethan), mentions of murder, scars and Ghostfaces. | lmk if I forgot anything!

| masterlist | bc: @cafekitsune

A/N: okay so this was supposed to be a drabble then it was suddenly 1.6k words (don't ask me what happened), I hope whichever one of you requested this likes it, I TRIED I PROMISE and here's the link to request!

virgin! Ethan Landry x female! Reader

Ethan didn't ask about the scars for a week.

He didn't act any different despite seeing the ugly healed-up wounds all over your skin. Despite some of them being from playing around, most were from your fight with the Ghostfaces.

You thought he would be disgusted when he first saw them, the one second before he had closed his eyes, but there was no visible disgust on his face. Only concern.

And he had apologized so much that you practically pitied him.

Even now that you were on his lap, your lips tangled with his in a heated kiss. His hand on your nape, another hand on your hip. He hadn't ventured far yet, being as respectful as he could be.

All the while you felt yourself getting needy for his touch. After another heated kiss, you pulled back, a string of saliva connecting your lips. Ethan's face was flushed with a crimson red, breathless from the kiss.

The hand on your hip went near the hem of your shirt and you felt yourself tense. "Can I?" He asked softly. You give him a nod, anticipating this time, he would feel disgusted. That he would leave you heartbroken.

He took off the shirt, his breath caught in his chest as your scars came into view.

The gashes were all over your skin. White healed tissue tinged with pink. "How?" He lets out a choked whisper. "Would you mind telling me how?" He said, again, his eyes looking into your so tenderly with no hint of disdain.

Taking in a deep breath, you nod and begin to tell your story, everything from your father dying and you killing Amber to get revenge, for the wounds you got from the fight. Everything.

"I know they aren't the prettiest to look at," you whispered, "I know I understand if you don't want to stay with m-" "Don't even finish that sentence," Ethan interrupted.

"Don't," he said in a firm tone, making you look up at him. His eyes were filled with tears even if they didn't fall, he pulled you in for a hug. "You went through so much," he whispered, his voice filled with emotions, filled with care and love.

"Let me take care of you, they're not pretty but they're a part of you and I love these scars just as much as I love you." He said you felt yourself nearly getting to tears as well from his words but held yourself back.

"Okay," you whispered, "Take care of me."

And that's how you end up under him, bare for his lips to kiss all over your scarred skin. You let out encouraging purrs as his kisses travel down from your neck to your collarbone. A small cut was there due to negligence while handling knives. He licked the edges of the scar. You sighed as he continued to worship your body.

He finally reached your torso, and a huge gash was there. He had stopped kissing your skin now, staring at the pinkish tissue that was a huge contrast against your skin.

'Now,' you thought to yourself, 'He's gonna realize that you're just not worth it, not with all the baggage and the scars on your skin that come with it.'

"I wish I could kill them," he whispered, his lips brushing against the scar. His words made you melt because it was tinged with truth. There was no doubt in his mind that he would kill them if he had the chance.

He pressed wet kisses onto the scar, making you let out a small sigh. He then crawled on top of you again. His voice was filled with nerves as he whispered, "I have never done this before."

You cup his face with both of your hands and pressed a small kiss on his forehead. "I have," you whispered, you had lost your virginity to Quinn so you were at least aware of what you liked or not.

"I could teach you," you offered, "Figure out what we like or not together." His doe eyes fill with relief and he gives you a smile as an affirmation.

"I would love that," he said, leaning down for another kiss as his hand traveled down to your soaked panties. He lets out a gasp into your mouth as he feels the material cling to your fold.

He panted, "Oh- you're so wet. Is that all for me, darling?" The way he asked made your cunt clench, so breathless and in wonder. "Yeah, E," you whine as his fingers glide on your clothed pussy, the slight friction making you gush out more juices.

"Can I take it off?" he asked, and you nod. He slides down the panties, and throws them on the floor, making a mental note to take it for himself later.

He pressed his fingers to your folds, sliding them across your cunt until the tip of his finger finds your entrance. You let out a small gasp, feeling yourself clench. "Can I?' He whispered, and again you nod. "Go ahead, E," you whispered.

The first digit enters, making him whimper about how tight you are, and how warm your insides feel. Your inner walls pulsate around the single digit.

He pumps the digit in and out before his index finger also joins. A whimper escapes your lips as your pussy stretches to accommodate his digits. "Is it good?" He asked, the nervousness mixed with heat in his tone.

"Perfect," you assure him, "Just crook your fingers a bit and you'll find a spot, focus on that for me, E." He eagerly does what you asked, his fingers finding your G-spot and pressing into it every time he thrusts his digits inside.

You moan, your hips bucking into his touch. Getting a bit more confidence from your pleasurable sounds, Ethan goes even faster. Your walls begin to pulse with the familiar need to snap the tension that was building but you didn't wanna cum so soon.

"Stop," you whispered and Ethan pulled back immediately with a questioning gaze. "Did I do something wrong?" He asked, concerned, "Did I hurt you? I am sorry."

You chuckled, "Nothing like that, my love. I was close…" You bite your lip, hesitating about saying the words that you knew would sound crude, "Wanna cum on your cock for the first time."

His eyes widened at your request. He nods obediently, pulling off his shirt with one hand and taking off his belt so he can slip out from the rest of his clothes.

His cock looked painfully hard with his cockslit leaking pre-cum all over his length. He stroked his cock to elevate some of his own needs.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," he whispered, as he slotted his girth near your entrance. His cockhead getting coated into your slick. You shake your head, "I want it, Ethan. So much."

He gives you a nod. He buries his face into the crook of your neck as he slowly slides into your warmth. Inch by inch, his cock stretches out your pussy, your inner walls molding into the shape of his length. He lets out whines as his veins sizzle with pleasure.

You felt his dick pulse and twitch as he whined, "Gonna cum. Gonna cum. Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Your hand goes to his hair to harshly tug at the brown curls. Effectively distracting him from the overwhelming pleasure. "Sushh, baby," you whispered, "It's okay. It's okay." He groans, "Babe…" You hum in reassurance. You make your pussy clench around his dick. Your walls squeezing his cock so suddenly makes his hips jerk into you, his cockhead grazing your g-spot.

You moan near his ear. "Like that," you whispered, "Take care of me."

It took him a few more moments to get used to the vice grip on his cock, the wetness, and the warmth before he began shallowly thrust into you.

He pressed kisses all over your neck, your throat, your breasts. Marking the places near your scars so you can remember this night. Both of you let out noises of pleasure.

He begins to thrust deeper than before as your nails dig into his back and he gets faster as well. Humping into you now, his mind getting lost in the sensation of your velvet heat.

"Am I doing all right?" He whines as his hips keep meeting yours. "Perfect," you moan in reply. His hips begin to snap faster, his thrusts deeper than before, filling you up. You moan louder as you keep getting filled with his cock. Your pussy begins to spasm around his length as the heat fills your tummy.

You were getting close with each snap of his hips. "You getting close, baby?" He moans, his lips now brushing against yours. "Cum on my dick, please, babe!" He begs, as he gets more desperate, his thrusts getting sloppy and losing their consistent pace.

Your free hand goes down to your folds to find your clit. Your thumb rubs fast circles onto the bud. You felt the telltale signs of your climax. Your stomach is coiling, just waiting to explode.

"Please, cum on my cock," Ethan whines again, his lips crashing with yours in a filthy open-mouth kiss. That snapped the tension your body was holding, you moaned into his mouth as your pussy began to squeeze his cock repeatedly. Your cunt milking his cock for all its worth. As soon as he feels your inner walls spasm and contract with a shallow thrust, he begins to cum.

He pants as his cum leaks out, too fucked out to pull out. You were both tired. Both emotionally and physically drained, it doesn't take long for you to sleep.

Ethan lays awake though, feeling the heat of your body beside him. Hearing you breath. He closed his eyes, and an image was in front. In which you're dead and cold.

He couldn't have that. He can't kill you anymore. Not after this. Not after promising forever with you, not after marking you and kissing your every scar.

He would have to choose in the future and he would choose you.

[akutasoda]

hi, platonic gallagher with a teen!reader who is a trouble maker and also acts very grown up

typical troubled teen reader who desperately tries to act like an adult

don't wish to grow up

synopsis - gallagher can't help but look out for you when you get in trouble, despite your insistence that you don't need help

includes - gallagher - platonic!

warnings - gn!teenish!reader, fluff, slight crack, angst toward the end, slight spoilers for 2.2 story quest, wc - 1.2k

a/n: man i miss gallagher...

penacony was bustling as always, the atmosphere would've been practically suffocating of he hadn't gotten so used to it. most people were either way to excited or drunk on soulglad to actually care about what was happening outside of their own dream. the bloodhounds were mainly put in place mainly to seem as though thr land of dreams was one of the safest places to be when in reality all they really were was crowd control and occasional maps for those unfamiliar with the area. gallagher could easily ghost past everyone due to these factors, however, unlike most, he wouldn't mind his own business this time - especially when he heard a very familiar voice ring out from nearby.

'it wasn't me! you dogs have the wrong person' gallagher paused in his tracks and let out a long sigh as he rerouted toward the source of the commotion.

two bloodhounds stood infront of you and blocked you from continuing on. it was obvious that one was still new as they kept glancing toward the other with uncertainty and so you decided to add another jab 'do they teach you dogs to stop every passerby? is it to get a bonus by tormenting others?'

luckily, before the more experienced bloodhound could retort, you're saviour arrived. 'move on with you're patrols, i'll take care of this one', the two bloodhounds turned to face gallagher with a look of confusion but whatever issue they had was forgotten and they did as told. gallagher watched as the figures retreated back into the crowd before turning to you with a unimpressed state, you could only offer your best smile in return.

'what did you do this time?' he sighed, wanting to know whatever problem you had planned this time.

'me? i didn't do anything this time! they just stopped me for no reason' you would try and describe the situation to him but you knew he wouldn't care at the end of the day because you'd gotten out of it again - with his help.

sometimes gallagher truly didn't know whether knowing you was a blessing or a curse, especially when he spends alot of time talking you out of trouble with the other bloodhounds. he'd be lying however if he didn't admit that you did have a smart head on your shoulders - mainly due to the fact that you seemed to act beyond your years despite falling into childish, troubling behaviours from time to time.

your first encounter had been not very different from the common occurrence with you, he'd caught you causing issues in the dreamscape and yet someone found himself being lenient on you and letting you go with no consequences - perhaps he may be at fault for encouraging your behaviour in this way. however, in honesty, he could never fault you for your behaviour - no matter how mature you may seem, you were still young deep down and you deserved to act that way.

'fine then, i'll take your word. just tell me what you plan on doing now.' a small part of him knew that he had subconsciously took on the role of looking out for you, but he didn't want to admit that.

'don't quite know yet' you stared at him and he sighed before walking away and signalling for you to follow, to which you did so. after a beat of silence you added 'i don't need you to always be looking out for me you know?'

'is that so?' he hummed, not bothering to properly look at you. you quickly retorted 'yes that is so, im not some kid that can't be left unsupervised for five seconds okay?' and he merely hummed a half hearted agreeance again.

most of the bloodhounds knew who you were, how could they not when you practically had a fun in with some every day? so yes, gallagher would say you needed supervision to make sure you didn't get yourself into some stupid situation but again, you were a kid - maybe not a kid kid but a kid nonetheless. the walk was mostly silent afterwards, you knew nothing you could say could convince him otherwise.

---✩

gallagher sometimes questioned if you got more daring and into trouble more frequently because you knew that he'd be able to weasel you out of the worst consequences. obviously that would mean he is technically encouraging you, something that he didn't exactly want to happen as if the time comes that he isn't around, nobody else would be as willing to bail you out. he's seen plenty to know that he wouldn't want you actually going down that path.

he had also seen your much more mature side, very rarely however, he had to admit that you could act beyond your years. and he didn't know what was worse, you getting into trouble or acting beyond your years - there didn't seem to be a middle ground where you could be yourself. he wasn't exactly an expert on emotions but it wouldn't take much to figure out that you were quite troubled.

---✩

ever since you met gallagher, you'd notice an acute awareness had developed toward these hound statues that you swore had never been around before - what was weirder was the fact that they'd disappear if you got too close, you cant be imagining things right?

contrary to most people's suspicions, you found gallagher rather entertaining to be around - alot of the time he opted to just listening to you ramble on and on with occasional comments or queries. from very early on gallagher had always made a point to ask about your day when he saw you, or just ask how you were in general and always listened to whatever you wanted to talk to him about regardless of whether he actually understood or not.

but you had also noticed how he was also one for talking to you about your behaviour, which was to be expected. whenever he saved you from another bloodhound's interrogation, he would always tell you about not getting into so much trouble. he didn't really care what you had done but he needed you to know that you can't always get into trouble, especially when you have your whole life ahead of you and he won't always be there to bail you out.

he also made it very clear to you, in subtle ways, that you didn't always have to act so grown up, especially around him. you were allowed to act your age and acting so mature all the time wasn't exactly a good thing - you needed to act your age otherwise you'd only miss out on it. although, atleast he could have some comfort in knowing that when he does cease to exist that you would be mature enough to see it through. he also knows that those hound statues will continue to see over your safety because even if it’s imaginary, it has unshakable loyalty.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[stealingyourbones]

Hey Bones, I saw your thing about a Bat family member becoming a ghost and it reminded me of a very heart breaking au a friend and I came up with a while back that I don't remember if I submitted or not. Either way, be prepared to have your heart broken.

Tim is dead. He's been dead for a while actually. But No one seems to have noticed. He looks and feels just as solid as he did before he died, even if he's got a lower body temperature and doesn't seem to get hurt on patrol beyond bumps and bruises. Never anything that would land him in med Bay, never anything that would make his family check on him.

No one has noticed the way he doesn't eat anymore, or the fact he doesn't sleep. He's extended his patrol hours and cut back on time at Wayne Enterprises. He's pretty sure not even Alfred noticed. He knows the Kryptonians aren't worried about him not having a heart beat and they have no reason to tell anyone. They know he has a special device that can hide him from their senses and tests it on Kon a lot to make him focus on spacial awareness beyond his hearing. He used it a lot before he died. They just think he hasn't turned it off in a while.

Tim remembers how he died. Not fully, but there are pieces. He remembers he was fighting someone on a bridge and he didn't call for back up because he thought he could handle it. He doesn't remember who he thought he could handle. He remembers something stinging his arm. A bug? No a bug couldn't bite through Kevlar, it was a needle. Then everything started going dark and he was stumbling back. His back hit something hard and he tiped over it. He thought he could land on the other side. He remembers wondering why his suit felt so damp and heavy as the world went black around him.

Tim's body is still at the bottom of the bay where it will likely stay forever with so, so many other bodies. It makes Tim wonder, why him? Why not everyone else who ended up down there? Why not everyone who has died in Gothem? Did he come back like Jason did, is it something to do with being a vigilante? Tim checks his own pulse again while he's alone. Yep. Still dead. He continues on his patrol and tries to shove those thoughts away.

So what if Tim's dead? He's still here and he still has work to do. His family is full of detectives. If they can't figure out that something as important as death has happened to one of their own? Well then Tim thinks they need to pay more attention. He ignores the pain that curls in the back of his mind at that thought.

It's been 6 months. Why hasn't anyone noticed? Tim can't help but wonder if they ever will.

Howdy its me @bonebrokebuddy answering. I'm Twone's (twin bones) twin who is helping answer asks because this fucker has like, over 100 of them in her ask box and I help her with making prompt ideas frequently so she trusts me to not horribly fuck up her account.

This is my first answer for her I've written because I had my screen on low brightness and on darkmode, so your profile jump scared the shit out of me when I scrolled past it. Therefore im answering this one first.

Anywho, from my chronic inability to write angst here goes: Tim died, came back and none of the Bats seemed to care. So what? It's not like his best friends hadn't done the same thing. And he was tired and sick of the Bats thinking his entire life revolved around them.

So he packed up his bags and headed to Kansas.

The Bats might not be worried but neither was Kon or Bart. They're actually thrilled after getting over their initial grief that Tim now has also personally experienced death and came back. The funeral was a rather small, breif, and quiet afar. Kon made sure to help locate Tim's corpse and Bart helped with the eulogy (surprisingly heartfelt and moved them all to tears.)

Sure, they're sad that Tim died but he's right in front of them, it's a little more difficult to morn when you've been laughing at said dead guy who got stuck halfway through phasing out of the wall. And now Tim can keep track with them!

Kon is a little pissed that Tim can now go intangible and escape his TTK so he can't take away Tim's coffee anymore. But it's kinda worth it. The first time he took Rob on his favorite flight path, he's never wanted anything else than to hear Tim's breathless laugh and see his frighteningly perfect smile again. They now often go on flights together, high above the clouds with no-one else but them for thousands of miles around. (it almost felt like a date)

Bart knew this would happen one day. He was from the future, of course he knew that Tim Drake, formerly Red Robin, died at age 19 and changed his alias to The Grey Ghost. It doesn't mean that Bart doesn't morn the passing of his friend. Tim means a lot to him and the brief guilt that he did not stop Tim's death also quickly passes. He can finally show Tim that hiding space in the walls that no one else can get to without phasing through the wall! One other thing. Bart is unsure if Kon has noticed yet, which he knows Kon isn't the most observant of the old young justice crew but he has to have noticed it by now. Ever since Tim left Gotham he's developed an insane appetite despite claiming that he didn't need to eat while in Gotham and also being dead so why does he need to eat? (Unknown to Bart, Kansas doesn't have as much ambient ectoplasm as Gotham and Tim is starting to experience the withdraw symptoms. If the trio don't realize how to fix Tim's worsening symptoms soon, Tim might actually die for good this time.)

[vee-beeee]

(Part one) Robo Road Trip

HIIII

This is PART ONE BABY (edit I FINISHED COOKING right here)

Okay the last dbh post was KINDAA giving depression so heres a FLUFFY fluffy one thats been bouncing around my brain for a couple days, part one as im going to make a continuation that shows what camping is like with the boys.

Premise: Road Trip to the West coast with Conner, Nines and Sixty

Imagine those roads with trees surrounding them, thats the vibe

Also first time writing for SIXTY whoooo hope im not trash, he acts like a smug dramatic guy so idk

Conner, Nines and Sixty x reader

I believeee this is around 3k lol i went ham

Warnings: maybe a bad word because sixty, fluff with a capitol F, part one

I also recommended listening to ANY Lord Huron song while reading this, that is basically the road trip music

(Hey sidenote, I know some of the ecosystem is TRASHED in dbh but lets pretend thats not happening LOL)

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You were so happy to get out of the city.

And into the car for a 35 hour drive.

You really wanted to show your boys the mountain you would always camp at when you were on the West Coast. They all hadn't been outside of Detroit, being made to do one job IN Detroit, but now they were all deviant.

And you wanted to show them a taste of the outside world.

It took a while for you all to get packed, the droids really wanted to try experimenting with their wardrobes on this trip. They sought to explore their inner human as much as possible.

You all needed the appropriate gear, so you guys went on a little shopping spree to find a tent and basic camping stuff. Hank had actually tagged along to coach you guys on what to get, having gone camping a couple times himself. (he mostly talked with you and Conner while sending glares to Sixty and Nines)

You ended up getting a pretty fancy tent that was big enough for all of you, and some essential equipment for cooking and cleaning. You also snuck in some board and card games, even though you knew they would beat you. But you could probably win ONE time...

Right??

After buying the gear, you guys got planning. You could only stay camping for 5 days, as the station didn't necessarily enjoy losing 4 cops. Especially 3 of the 4 being advanced detective androids. But it had worked out, (the boys having saved an astronomical amount of sick days) and you planned on going sometime in the fall. You decided on a week and you remember hurriedly running to your calendar and circling the date and also drawing a bunch of small doodles around it. The boys had all watched you fondly, getting excited themselves.

It all lead up to this moment, where Conner sitting next to you in the driver seat and was setting the location in his new GPS, Nines and Sixty where packing the car, and you were making a road trip playlist. (Hey that's very important!)

"Hey Conner?" He hummed in response and didn't look at you, too busy trying to figure out a new gadget he got for his car.

"Do you like Lord Huron?" You were trying to decide what the perfect music to play was and realized that Lord Huron existed. You weren't really sure how androids experienced music so you thought of asking. He huffed out a sigh directed at the troublesome device and turned to look at your phone, where you also had your eyes glued.

"I don't really listen to music as such, but Hank has introduced me to heavy metal. Is it like that?" You giggled remembering Hanks music taste

"No its more gentle, relaxing. It reminds me of walking in the woods." Out of the corner of your eye Conner looked away, LED blinking amber and blue. He looked back at you with a soft smile and this time you met his gaze.

"That sounds delightful, my dear. Perfect for this occasion" You flushed at the nickname, and he chuckled seeing your reaction. He leaned in and kissed your cheek before exiting the car, hearing Sixty's call that they were almost done. You sat in the vehicle, skin heating, and raising a hand to graze the place he kissed you. You loved when he did that. A steady knock at the window startled you and you whipped around to see a familiar face (sixty) smirking at you, seeing that you were flushed. You stuck your tongue out at him and he reciprocated, sticking his tongue back at you.

"If you two would stop behaving like children, we would be done much sooner." A booming voice cut through your contest with sixty, and you watched him roll his eyes and face an annoyed Nines. You got out of the car to go help the RK900 with what he was carrying. He was still grumpy so you smiled softly at him and mouthed an apology. He relaxed slightly, but still shot a glare at sixty, who chuckled and went back into the apartment and get more bags. You then took the time to appreciate Conner's awesome Bat Mobile car. It had a huge trunk that managed to fit all of your stuff, tent included. It was truly a miracle machine.

You walked over to the car and gave the suitcase to Conner who situated it nicely in a perfect space. You were also lucky to have android boyfriends who were amazing at managing tight spaces and fitting things into them.

After a couple of minutes, Sixty emerged with the last of the bags. He informed you all that he locked the house up and engaged the security systems. The final step. You were really going.

You all piled into the car, both Nines and Sixty insisting you take the front seat. You accepted, but promised to swap with them when you got to the next stop. Most rest stops would be for you, needing to get food or use a restroom. The droids didn't need anything but told you they needed to get up and stretch their legs once in a while ( but you think that was just their excuse so they could follow you around and make sure you were safe at suspicious gas stations.)

After a while of driving through the city, Conner was getting on the highway when you announced that you would be playing a Lord Huron song and see how everyone liked it. You turned on "Meet Me in the Woods" and leaned back to look out the window.

"I took a little journey to the unknown,

And I've come back changed I can feel it in my bones

I messed with the forces our eyes cant see

Now the darkness got a hold on me

Oh, the darkness got a hold on me"

You had closed your eyes and started to quietly sing along, and realized you should see what the others thought about it. You turned your head slightly to Conner staring out at the road ahead, his LED blinking yellow and blue. He had a soft, lingering smile on his face and his posture was relaxed.

Sixty had his eyes closed, leaning his head all the way back on the seat and seemed to be absorbing the music.

Nines was also leaning back, arms crossed. He was staring out the window with his LED a soft, stable amber. He turned slightly to just catch the end of your gaze and his lips twitched in a cute, endearing way. It was a Nines smile. You smiled back at him and turned around to look out the front windshield. It was raining slightly, and you were just leaving the city and into the unknown. It was perfect.

After the song had finished, you tore your eyes away from the road

"Did you all like it?" you hopefully gazed at each individual and noticed they all looked at peace. Conner spoke first

"Do you have more music of that energy? I think I enjoyed it."

"I agree. More please"

"Indeed"

You looked around to see everyone nodding their heads and you beamed. And so, your playlist made it past the android enjoyment test. You settled in as it started the next song, feeling content. You could totally do 35 hours.

(4 hours in)

Update: why would you do this to yourself. 35 hours? Were you crazy? You loved road trips as much as the next guy, but you were dying. You guys were currently stuck in traffic, and the boys had gotten involved in a pretty intense "dad stuck in traffic" fight.

"Nines, going on I90 would have taken us to the heart of Chicago, do you want more traffic?"

"No it wouldn't if we took the round about. Whose the more advanced android here Conner."

"Woah, low blow"

"Be quiet Sixty"

This started as Nines getting mad at Conner for taking them down a road that had high traffic at that hour, and Conner defending himself. Sixty had no argument, he just liked being included.

"I took 294 because I knew it would keep us out of the worst of the traffic. No matter what, traffic is inevitable."

"It could have been avoidable had you followed my instructions"

You were sitting in the passenger seat, eyes squeezed shut listening to them argue. It was infuriating.

So you did something.

"Guys I'm going to jump out of the car and sprint down the street like a crazy person if you don't stop arguing. I'm dead serious" You snapped and stared them down. Or a least you tried, because your face betrayed you and you broke out into a smile giggle.

Conner looked guilty at first, but saw your grin and started chuckling, envisioning you running down the street like a madman. Nines bristled, still annoyed. Even if your giggle made his lips quirk. You made eye contact with Sixty and he was smirking at you, taking out his coin to mess around with.

You eventually sighed, a couple minutes having passed. You turned around to address Nines.

"Traffic was inevitable" then you turned to Conner "No arguing". You took Conner's hand in yours and held it. Another smile broke out onto his face and he turned to look out on the road. You felt a hand graze your neck and you twisted around to see Nines reaching out. He moved forward to peck your temple and then quietly apologized to Conner.

Mission Successful.

But that was mission one. Mission two was figuring out how to go to use the bathroom. Because you were currently stuck in traffic. That wasn't great. After a couple minutes of fidgeting your legs, Conner took his hand away from holding yours and looked toward you. His gaze was steady, as his LED blinked and you knew in the back of your head that he was scanning you.

"Do you have to use the lavatory?" You gasped and shoved his shoulder, watching him bite back a laugh, and then started sinking in to your seat.

"Conner! That's so embarrassing."

"Did maybe someone tell you to go before we left? Oh wait, that sounds like something I would say" Sixty spoke up from the back of the car. You turned around to gape at him, and he just sat there looking smug. You could hear Conner and Nines subdued chuckling behind the music that was playing.

You ended up holding out, absolutely refusing to go in the woods by the road, insisting that someone would see you. Conner pulled over at a gas station and you all but flew out of the car and bolted through the store until skidding to a stop right outside the bathroom.

When you got out, Sixty was buying your favorite snack and you saw Conner and Nines fueling up the car out the window. They were seriously so thoughtful.

After Sixty was done paying, you came up behind him and hugged his middle. He laughed and held your hands still on his middle, and spun you. You squeaked and he laughed harder. He stopped and unwrapped you to kiss your head and hand you your prized snack. You pecked his lips and left, both of you saying good day to the amused employee working there.

(17 hours in)

It started getting really late so you guys stayed at a motel for the night. You guys all relaxed on a fluffy bed, all party's included were happy to stretch their legs. You and Nines had been switching front seat and back seat, and Sixty had repeatedly old you he was fine where he was. Nines had revealed to you later that Sixty just wanted to sit next to you.

You got up from the bed first, eager to get ready and sleep. When you came out 30 minutes later, Conner was laying still under the blankets, staring at the celling. Nines was also under, and had rolled over to face the window. And Sixty had apparently, at some point while you were in the bathroom, been knocked off the bed. He was currently face down on the floor. You giggled and nudged his side. He rolled over, clutching his heart.

"They, (fake coughing) their so mean. They shoved me off the bed" you shook your head and leaned down on your knees to kiss his cheek. He accepted and rolled back over on his face. Conner then spoke up from the bed

"I wouldn't kiss his face, this floor is filthy." You stood up and laughed, making your way to the bed and crawling over him to slip between him and Nines. Nines stiffened until he got comfortable, and Conner wrapped his arms around you to spoon you.

"Just say your jealous she kissed me Conny" came a voice from the floor. Conner scoffed and replied with another rhetorical comment hidden in a nice tone. Nines joined in just when you started slipping into sleep, and the last thing you heard before you left to dream world was Conner whispering goodnight into your ear.

In the morning you woke up covered in androids. Very snugly droids. You all then got packed up and set off. During the drive, You found out Sixty had crawled into bed after you and shoved Nines off when he was in rest mode. Nines woke up very alarmed, and decided to continue his rest in one the the chairs in the room the motel provided. You had felt so bad afterwards, but he insisted it was fine.

You guys were driving through North Dakota today, and you were currently knitting. The boys were discussing a case that was giving them a hard time. You would have joined in but you believed in not talking about work on your precious vacation time. You were sitting in the back seat now, Sixty at your side, and it was very domestic. You felt a hand wrap itself around your knee and you smiled, continuing your stitch.

(30 hours in)

You were totally knocked out. The boys wanted to continue driving to beat traffic, and were currently talking through their android Verizon service (using their minds) as to not wake you up.

But you still accidently woke up with a start when Sixty had rolled his shoulder, unintentionally dropping your head off him. You had apparently drifted off resting your face on his soft puffy jacket.

To which he did NOT mind.

You squeaked awake, being surprisingly shoved off your pillow. Sixty immediately said a quiet apology, but it was too late. 2 angry droids turned there seats around to glare down the accused RK800.

"We told you to stay still" they said that almost in synch

"I was reaching for a blanket! I didn't know a small movement would wake her!"

You sleepily giggled at their little argument and passed out against him once again.

When you woke up for real, you were informed that you guys were almost three hours away. You breathed a sigh of relief, but still begged to pull over so you could get some air. You were in a beautiful parts of the woods and you desperately needed a stretch after sleeping on Sixty. No offence, but snuggling with androids is like snuggling with a very sturdy pillow. Your happy for it, but its not very squishy.

Nines had chuckled at how desperate you looked and obliged. You popped out and basically ran halfway down the road and back. You were huffing when you came back to the car. Conner rolled his window down, eyebrow raised. You wheezed

"Sorry, needed to run" He nodded in understanding, and actually got out himself to stretch his android joints and put on his cute little beanie. Sixty got out and straightened his tie, and Nines choose to stay in the car and work on coordinates. Sixty walked around the car to join you and Conner, and looped his arms around your waist. You yelped as he picked you up slightly to sling you back in forth.

"How are you enjoying the road trip?" He punctuated each word with a swing of your body. You were laughing when you responded "Good, but I'm excited to get there" Conner had been watching you fondly when he stated

"Nines says its 3 more hours, but we might get delayed depending on traffic." you nodded and Sixty set you down. You then went up to go hug Conner, making sure he wasn't missing any affection.

After more standing and stretching, you got in the front seat with Nines next to you, setting the car to auto drive. Conner and Sixty were sitting in the back, playing one of the card games you brought and starting to get very competitive with each other. You beamed and turned back to look at Nines. His eyes weren't on the road, however. He was staring at you with an expression of absolute love. You both sat and stared at each other until he leaned over and grabbed the back of your head, threaded his fingers into your hair, and kissed your temple. You shivered as his fingers rubbed your scalp and he grinned against your temple.

(5 minutes away from campsite)

You were bouncing off the walls excited. It had been years since you visited this spot, having been to far away after moving to Detroit. The boys had been enjoying the scenery outside the city, but now the were enthralled. The woods were huge, and the air was fresh. Moss hung from the arms of the trees and you could see your mountain peeking over the top of the forest. You guys were waiting in line at the entrance of the campsite to check in, and you were gushing about how pretty your spot was. It was nestled in the corner of the campsite, leading into a trail into your own personal forest. Complete with a little stream.

The androids were amused watching you talk about the park, but they were almost as excited as you. When you were sleeping, all they talked about was this new experience, and how happy they were to share it with you. It was interesting seeing all the new environments and experiencing what its like outside of the city. Detroit was so advanced, and they had never really been deep in the woods.

After patiently waiting, you finally got all checked in and remembered to buy some firewood.

Then, you were off.

Starting your very first camping trip with your wonderful android boyfriends

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PART ONE YALL

Hope its okay, had to really crack at this one to fit all my ideas in. Its also hard to write the dynamic between 4 people LOL

Hope I managed to capture their personalities okay

Part 2 is all about them camping so stay tuned

It might take a bit so hang on and let me cook 🔥

Sorry for plot holes or if this has been done beforee

[redactedgender]

there’s a honey

ao3 link here

(15k words)

some tags: Porn with some plot ; Switching ; Flirting ; Awkwardness ; we love an enby who uses gendered language in genderfucky ways ; guy and his inability to stfu /pos ; No beta we die like xavier ; yall have met crow already. let me introduce you to sage ; Overuse of italics ; so many italics

its finally here! my 15k word guy/honey smut :] today is also (what i consider) my one year redacted listening anniversary. this series has meant a lot to me during the past year, and im very happy to have found out abt it when i did.

so, here's a fic that i hadn't originally planned on posting for my one year, but hey, guess now's as good a time as any to post it!

a reminder: this fic is 18+/NSFW.

a snippet under the cut

They hated to admit it, but kissing Guy was very quickly becoming their favorite thing to do. Not that they would ever admit that to him, of course. They had an image to maintain. But in their mind, they could think about kissing their boyfriend all they wanted. The quick pecks in the morning before he rushed off to work, the slow kisses they would share while he cooked dinner (because despite working almost every day in a pizza place making pizzas for sometimes ten hours or more in a single day, Guy liked cooking for the two of them), the multiple pecks across their face as he tried to distract them from something, mostly their work. There was something about Guy that made them act like— this . Like some kind of punch-drunk teeanger experiencing their first real relationship. Butterflies in their stomach, face constantly flushed anytime they looked at him, feeling flustered when he would say their name, all of the stuff that they had never experienced before. Guy surely was giving them the real “boyfriend experience” that they had only read about in high school. Speaking of their boyfriend— Sage looked up from their phone at the sound of the bell ringing out as the door into Max’s Rustic Pizza opened, and rolled their eyes at Guy’s frazzled grin and wide-eyed stare at his partner. Sage was leaning against the hood of their car, headphones on and blasting music, though it had been turned off and the headphones had been moved to hang around Sage’s neck. Guy looked them up and down, eyebrows wiggling enticingly, and Sage made a disgusted little noise they didn’t mean, which only made Guy laugh. Like Sage wasn’t just wearing jeans and a hoodie. He was ridiculous sometimes. “Hey there, hot stuff!” Guy called out, leering closer to his partner and arching an eyebrow. “Who are you waiting for, huh? Certainly someone as hot as you managed to bag someone as equally hot, right? I just know they’ve gotta be charming and handsome, and extremely funny, too!” He grinned, and Sage elbowed him in the arm, not hard, but sharp enough to make him recoil back and hold his arm. “Ow! I was complimenting you, what’d you do that for?” “Never call me ‘hot stuff’ again, first of all,” they retorted, adjusting their position against their car and tugging their hoodie around their shoulders tighter as a sharp wind tore through the air. Even though it was April and most of the days were getting warmer and warmer, the occasional chilly day still popped up, and today was one of them. “Second of all, I’m waiting for you , so I can go back to the apartment and finally play Zelda since you wanted to watch me play it instead of playing it yourself.” “Aww, c’mon, honey,” Guy crooned, resting one hand on the hood of the car and leaning his hip against it, tilting his head to peer at them with his (really fucking pretty, goddamn this fucking guy—) hazel eyes. “You know why I like watching you play it—you get so into the game, it’s adorable!” “It’s adorable when I’m screaming ‘fuck’ at the Lynels for killing me for the fifth time in a row? Or that one time I got so angry when I fell off a cliff and clipped through the world and lost all my gear that I had to go into my room before I punched our TV?” They deadpanned, eyebrow raised in question, and Guy nodded and grinned, biting his bottom lip like he was trying (and failing) to contain his excitement.  “Mhm!” He brought his other hand to scratch at his head, a habit he had. “I mean, you’re just so good at the game, so it’s hardly fair for me to even play it! It’s much better as a viewing experience anyway, especially with my head in your lap. I mean, the only way it would be an even better viewing experience would maybe include me on my knees. Or maybe with my head between your—” Sage slapped Guy’s arm again, ignoring the way their face felt flushed at what their boyfriend was insinuating. “Not in public, you—!”

continue reading here!

[grimlins-chaos]

The numbness that comes with an unfulfilled promise..

It was quiet for the most part, petals and leaves fall from the boughs above and flutter down to the city below, a few of them landing upon the surface of the lake that Alaantheria had been simply observing, her face still a bit numb from the fresh mark- but that paled in comparison to the numbness she felt in her heart and soul. She finally got to prove herself as someone of worth, not only earning the mark of shadow, but also the Scythe of Elune. The elf looked over the fantastic weapon with tired eyes. She hardly felt anything, not just in regards to her accomplishment but to all things im general. All of it felt so meaningless. She knows all her friends are worried about her, it wasn't till some time recently when she finally gained the strength to be out amongst people again- but now she was alone. The sounds of revarly from those of the guild and other kal'dorei celebrating her and her party's accomplishments, she should be happy, she should be proud. But she just.. can't..

"For someone having finally earned her marks, you don't seem too happy to bear them." A gentle voice came from behind, causing the young elf to turn around and be just a bit surprised to see the High Priestess herself of all people standing there.

Alaantheria wasn't quite sure how to verbalize it, she didn't feel like she could speak up about it even though all of her friends hadn't ever shut her down before- some of them know their own losses and she's experienced loss herself throughout her life. There was just something about this loss that cut deeper than anything else and she didn't know how to explain it. "I'm just thinking about things, High Priestess, pay no mind to me." Alaan managed a small smile, one that felt so.. wrong to put on.

The older woman's lips quirked into a mildly unimpressed frown, brows furroed as she cocked her head to the side ever so slightly, making it clear she saw right through the young elf. "We should be truthful with ourselves, Young one. And Tyrande, please." She says as she walks up to the railing to stand beside Alaantheria. "I wouldn't be a very good priestess if I were to turn a blind eye to one of my people clearly suffering, especially on a day that's supposed to be a joyus one for her. What's on your mind, child?"

Alaan sighed a bit, her smile turning into a wristful grimace. "Where to even begin.." She turned to look over the railing, resting her arms on it as she rested her weight against it. "There was someone supposed to be here.. and he's.." She paused, throat becoming tight with emotion as she could feel the tears threatening to return. "Not.." She managed to force out.

Given her demeanor and the tension throughout the druid, Tyrande seemed to have understood pretty quickly how this somebody so dear to the girl may have departed. It was but one of many reasons why she hates the legion so passionately- the way they managed to rip so many loved ones away from people, often in the most brutal and cruel ways imaginable.

Alaantheria took in a sharp deep breath, attempting to compose herself and continued. "H-he was caught in an explosion, sacrificing himself to save others." The bitter bile rose to the back of her throat, tears forming at the edge of her eyes. She wanted so badly to be in his arms again, to feel his warm envelope her tight, even toward the end when he began to drift away from her she always knew there was something in him that loved her. Now.. now she's never felt more cold.

She was met with the feeling of a hand brushing over her leafy green hair as Tyrande spoke. "The love you shared with him I can tell was one of the greatest.. and also the most painful.. Raw, pure, forever enduring.." Tyrande looked out over the lake view. "While I've only ever nearly lost him, to be left behind while my love left to help the world or to walk the emerald dream filled me with a very similar pain- to be alone while your heart is out of your reach and you're left with the phantom feeling of them at your side.. it cuts deeper than any blade. And the whole they leave behind feels like you're standing on the edge of a gaping chasm that has no end.."

The words alone were enough to do her over, tears spilling down her freshly marked face as she buried her face in her hands and her body began to be raked with sobs, finally mourning as she never truly got to express before and it hurt- it hurt so much. Why did he have to go? It could have been anyone else, but it was him. And a part of her hating him for leaving her behind, but she also couldn't bring herself to be mad at him for many more would have died. She just missed him, she wanted him home so badly.

The priestess gently stroked the younger elf's hair, giving her all the time she needed to grieve. In time Alaantheria managed to calm down, setting her hands down as she looked over the calm lake before her, seeing herself in it's reflection, in that beautiful attire with her face flushed and her eyes wet and puffy from tears. And all she could manage were a few words in a weak and she sounded so small. "I don't know where to go from here.."

Tyrande reached over and picked a small violet flower from a vine that had been growing as one with the railing as much as the rest of the vegetation that simply merged with Darnassus' structures. "Do you know why I gave you the mark of shadow?" She merely asked, causing Alaan to look up at her, confused. Tyrande however merely smiled in return, tucking the stem of the flower into the green hair just above her ear. "Associated with the night warrior of legend, it was believed that the mark of shadow represented balance and hidden potential." She then cupped the side of the girl's flushed cheek. "If I had to guess he recognized you have so much more to give than you even realize. And now he's given you the opportunity to show the world what you can do, show just how strong you are. Take the light of his memory and the love that he gave you and live." Her expression softened as she then tugged the other elf into her arms. "He may not be here in body to watch you but I have a feeling that like I and like so many to came to see you today that he is so proud of you."

That seemed to finally grab a shakey but genuine smile out of Alaantheria as she returned the hug and the tears returned, accompanied by a small ball of warmth deep in her chest. The pain was still there.. it'd never go away, but she believed she understood what she had to do now.

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

I’m interested!!!

Say less.

You were running.

You weren't running away from anything, but you imagined that the sight of a person sprinting in the streets in the middle of the night would be unnerving for anybody who happened to catch sight of you. But you didn't have time to care about what anyone else lothought. You had places to be, shows to catch. Specifically, the season finale of your favorite show, set to start any minute, and you were running in the opposite direction to your apartment.

If only you hadn't been hit with the cravings for snacks. You should have just stayed home

and gotten your snacks another day. But foolish past-you from 15 minutes ago thought they could make it to the store and back before the show started, and current-you had yet to even get to the store.

You were on a time crunch.

It was because you were running full speed that you didn't have enough time to slow down when the store doors came into view, convinced you were about to slam into them and bracing yourself for the impact, only for the doors to slide open last second. It would have been perfect timing if you didn't end up slamming into the person leaving the store immediately afterwards.

They managed to catch you, only stumbling back a few steps from the momentum.

“Sorry!,” You yelped, eyes already drifting to the selection of snacks you could see from the entrance. “Im so-”

You inhaled again, your nose being assaulted by one of the best smells you had ever experienced. in that moment, everything from your snacks to your show to the very world spinning beneath your feet seemed to disappear from your mind, so completely unimportant in the face of this smell. It made you want to bury your face in the source. You wanted to suffocate on the smell. You wanted it to wrap around you and coat your tongue, to seep into your skin and become a part of you, to feel it deep inside you-

You almost choked on your spit from how quickly your alpha flew forward. You wouldn't have been surprised if your eyes were glowing red, and it took everything you had to keep yourself from pressing up against the stranger who was still holding you. Said person seemed just as affected as you, a small gasp leaving their lips, hands bunching up on the sleeves of your hoodie where they had grabbed you to keep you from falling. now, they used the fabric to pull you closer, your eyes meeting bright gold, head spinning.

MATE. MATE. MATE.

“Felix?”

The sound of another person made you close your eyes, forcing your alpha to. calm. down. You took a deep breath, and then a step backwards.

The omega let out a whine, and you opened your eyes, finally taking in the person who had just changed your life forever. Long blonde hair, soft defined features, an array of freckles dusted across their face. Their eyes were still gold, showing their omega was in control at the moment, trying to pull you back like they were scared you would leave.

You reached up to hold their hands in yours, letting out more of your scent to reassure them. “Hey, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere.”

The other person, the one who had spoken earlier, was making his way around his buddy

He looked confused, and slightly worried, but there was a hard glint to his face that promised he wouldn't hesitate to react if his friend was in danger.

“Sorry, I think-” You glanced back at your fated, and yup. His eyes were still golden. “He might need a minute.”

The other guy, close enough now that you could make out the soft planty scent of a beta, took in the omegas gold eyes and let out a swear. He was up in your face then, hands gripping your arm like he was ready to pull you back, but focused fully on his friend.

“Felix? Can you hear me?” The omega let out another whine, finally letting go of you to wrap his arms around the beta. “Hey, you're okay.”

The omega let out a shudder, and you took a step back, hoping the new scent would help ease his omega back.

“What did you do to him?”

“Nothing, I just … he's my fated mate,” You said. For the first time, saying it outloud made you finally realize just how big of a deal this was.

“What?”

The omega, your mate- Felix- pulled back from his friend to look at you with so much hope and awe, eyes finally losing that familiar glow and settling somewhere around dark brown and black.

“Your really-” He looked at his friend, shaking the mans shoulders gently. “Its true. I felt it, Minnie."

Said ‘Minnie’ glanced back at you with a weary look. “Not that i don't doubt you two obviously felt something, it doesnt mean its … fated mates.”

He said the last part the same way someone would talk about unicorns. Something everyone knew about, but also something that was so obviously a fantasy. The idea of fated mates felt like talking about dragons and vampires, the kind of thing only kids would believe.

But you knew there was no other explanation for what you felt. It wasn't like there hadn't been cases before, but they were so rare (like once every hundred years kind of rare) that you knew there was no way anyone would believe the two of you without some sort of vigorous testing or proof.

“I know it sounds insane, but there's no other way to explain whatever,” You waved your hands at Felix. “That was. Is. Even now …”

You trailed off, unsure how to explain your emotions to the other, and Felix nodded his head in agreement.”

“This is real, Minnie.”

‘Minnie’ let out a sigh, shaking his head. “Right. Okay. This is complicated, but I believe you. What now?”

“I dont know,” Felix admitted. “I mean, I dont even know your name!”

The three of you got properly introduced, and you learned that the betas name was actually Seungmin. Felix repeated your own name under his breath a few times, first time to test it out, and the second with a smile. It made your heart flutter.

-0-0-0-

There you have it. the very first rough draft to secret secret. obviously I made quite a few changes to it. I ended up changing some of my original ideas simply because i didnt know where to go from here :/

Anyways, to anyone who wanted this, i hope you enjoy ^^

[lactosa2]

Hello! is been a long short time since the last time i did something, and whit the voice lines and the last cinematic is so much more information about Omen past and current situation. At this point this mf blog is only about Omen (im not complainin)

If you haven´t see the cinematic or the last voice lines of Omen and Sabine you dont gonna understand to much this drabble. This one gonna be fluffy and long btw. (4.262 words!!)

TALK TO ME (1/2)

Omen was pacing from side to side, angry and confused, his posture hunched as he looked at the ground, feeling dizzy and overwhelmed by the feelings he had tried for so long to appease.

he had just sent a voicemail to Brimstone, demanding that he understand her position and why the recent demands to see Viper and talk to her, he had to understand. Everthing all been a lie.

He felt used and manipulated, as if his current point of view didn't belong to him, but rather was what Viper wanted him to be, that his pain and confusion regarding his past and himself always had answers, he just never got them. The stress was bringing him to the brink of collapse, he felt the shadows beneath those bandages contract, erupting into a bright blue color while his hands trembled thanks to his anxious thoughts.

All the people he killed, everything he experienced, all his memories of a life and a name with which he felt no connection… Was it even him? Or at least there was something from the past to rescue? He can't understand why.

4:28 PM

You hadn't spoken to Omen since before his last mission, Sova told you about 5 days ago that he was under pressure, you didn't know what he was referring to but you assumed it was thanks to the same old thing, His lost memories.

You tried to leave him alone for a while, you didn't want to put pressure on him and you know him well enough to know that he needs to be alone for a few days, then he'll look for you and talk about what's bothering him, it's been a week and a half and he still hasn't spoken to you

You are worried but you keep insisting to yourself that he will talk to you soon, but the days went by quickly and your anxiety grew. Is he ignoring you? Is it too bad? Something you did made him angry and now he doesn't even want to see you?

You know that he would never go away for more than a day without sending you a message explaining that he needs to manage his emotions and see what to do in the future, he knows your insecurities and he is not going to hurt them more than they are. Usually he would explain to you in a brief summary what is happening and approximately how much time he thinks he needs for himself, the text or voice message would end by telling you that it is okay if you talk to him while and that he loves you, which would calm your heart formerly hurt and would have to wait for him, only a few days, but a week and a half has passed and he hasn't said anything after receiving that message

This time he didn't explain the situation, he just said that he needed time, he was stressed, and although the stress could be relieved with a cuddle session, he needed to organize his emotions and thoughts on his own, and then he would look for you.

You knew how he worked and his emotions, even so, as the days passed, the messages in the morning with him alone made you more anxious and needy to have him close, in person, you wanted to hug him and play with his hand while he let off steam, You wanted that little warmth, the temperature didn't matter, the closeness made the encounter feel unique and even if the panorama is not new

You couldn't resist the desire to be with him, not only because you missed him, but more than that it was the concern for his well-being, you knew that for the most part he was strong and could think coldly with ease, but his past had always been that weak point capable of carrying him to the mental and emotional explosion. So without thinking more than you already did, you went to his room, you knocked on the door even though the hand recognizer had already allowed access for you (Omen configured the detector so that it would also validate yours). The last thing you wanted was to surprise him in a moment of vulnerability, one where he would feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

The door opened showing you a stooped Omen, his tall figure made the first thing you saw was his armor, you raised your head and saw that he had his head down, before you could speak he gently grabbed your hand and pulled you inside.

He pressed the button to close the door and instantly hid his head on your shoulder, both hands gently ran down your back before each one landing on a different side of your waist, hugging you firmly.

(This drabble gonna have part two and maybe part three, i dont feel whit all the motivation and i dont want the post to be more extence, plus my head hurt)

[stormyoceans]

The clock on the wall of the restaurant was still showing the same time, for the third time Mhok had checked. He glanced down at his phone - no, it hadn't broken; Mhok was just impatient. And his phone screen was blank as ever.

He sighed, and returned to mopping the floor. Maybe all of this hard work would get him a raise soon, if his new boss noticed. That would be worth it.

His pocket began buzzing, and Mhok felt a fond smile beginning before he even had the phone out. Sure enough, the screen was lit with his boyfriend’s name.

"Good evening," he said, warm and low into the receiver. "If you'd like to place an order, I'm sorry, but the restaurant is closed."

Something in Mhok seemed to settle and relax, just hearing his boyfriend’s voice on the other end of the line. "I'm sorry, Phi," said Day, explaining about his family and the unexpected change of their plans.

Mhok had guessed that it would be something like this; actually, it could have been worse. He should probably feel grateful Day could call at all. He hummed, and told him not to worry. "I'll just have to be better next year," he murmured, with a self-deprecating smirk, "so Santa will be nicer to me."

Day's voice dipped a little lower. "Let's say that Santa is listening right now," said the younger boy. "What would you ask for?"

Mhok barely hesitated, certain of the only thing he wanted - the thing he'd want even if he had everything else in the world. "I'd want to be with you right now," he almost whispered, with the ghost of a sigh.

"...The moon is beautiful tonight. Wouldn't you say?"

Mhok's heart leapt into his throat, beating with a sudden wild hope. He wished so much... and there was only one way to know.

He moved instantly to the restaurant doors, pushing them open with firm, calloused hands, and knowing exactly the person he wanted to see.

And for a moment, for just one breath of a moment -

He'd breached a different threshold, in a different place, while something like deja vu made the faint glimmer of hope in his stomach into an endless star-filled canopy, millions of constellations strong. And his steps were uncertain, but his heart knew who to look for... the shape of this memory held a different face, and the word on his lips was a different name, but it was the same moment, somehow, the same longing, the same unbearable separation finally ending, this time for sure, two souls coming home, like magnets across a universe -

He blinked, and the moment was entirely his own, once more. Just a passing thought, an odd trick of the light in the courtyard, and it didn't matter anyway.

Because he saw Day, his Day, just as he'd wished.

"Day," Mhok breathed, his heart full. He swallowed past the sudden knot in his throat, blinking away the tears that gathered inexplicably in his eyes.

"Merry Christmas," said Day, smiling at him.

---

(it's me again, hi 👋 after ep 10 i had to send this too hope you enjoy 🤍)

SLACK JAWED SHAKING OUT OF MY SKIN CRYING SHITTING YELLING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS FOAMING AT THE MOUTH SPINNING COUNTERCLOCKWISE ON THE FLOOR WAILING WEEPING HOWLING SCREECHING EATING GLASS GOING INTO CARDIAC ARREST MAKING A LOBOTOMY APPOINTMENT CRAWLING TOWARDS THE EDGE OF THE HIGH RISE BUILDING IM ABOUT TO THROW MYSELF OFF OF ASCENDING ONTO A HIGHER SPHERE OF HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS

ANON IM ONCE AGAIN SAYING THIS IN THE MOST AFFECTIONATE AND ADORING WAY POSSIBLE BUT YOU ARE - INDEED - INSANE. THIS IS MADNESS. LUNACY. DERANGEMENT. LITERALLY CAN WE HAVE A TALK. CAN WE HAVE A CONVERSATION. A DISCUSSION EVEN. YOU DID NOT JUST MAKE MORK HAVE A VISION OF PUEN OPENING THE DOOR OF THE GLASS HOUSE AND FINALLY FINDING TALAY AFTER HE CAME BACK FROM THE OTHER UNIVERSE. AS IF DAY'S SIDE BACK IN EPISODE 4 DIDN'T ALREADY RUIN ME. CURRENTLY IN A DEAD FAINT IN FRONT OF MY SCREEN EXPERIENCING THE ENTIRE RANGE OF HUMAN EMOTIONS LIKE

"the shape of this memory held a different face, and the word on his lips was a different name, but it was the same moment, somehow, the same longing, the same unbearable separation finally ending, this time for sure, two souls coming home, like magnets across a universe" <<< I CAN'T EVEN. FORMULATE [ISABELLE ADJANI TUNNEL SCENE FROM POSSESSION] [FEMALE HYSTERIA] [SUICIDE]

[addictedtostorytelling]

Still loving the newest addition to the Happy Accidents series & your last chapter got me thinking about a potential scene I would love to hear from your perspective (or maybe you’ve already written it & I’ve just got to be patient…)

In the last chapter you mentioned Sara’s PTSD & Grissom was so sweet. Particularly this part “She knows why he is worried: Over the years, he has learned to associate nerviness in her with periods when her mental health is poor. She isn’t usually quick to startle, but during the times when her PTSD is bad—around anniversaries—she can be. She gets so in her own head that anything happening outside has the potential to shock.”

It got me thinking about how in this alternate universe, Sara would be about 6-7 months pregnant when the anniversary of her abduction came & I would love to read her thoughts on that & how Grissom helps her deal with it. Does it cause her to reflect on how different her life looks now than a year ago? Does she think about all the reasons she didn’t give up in the desert? Does she feel the baby kick & is brought out of her thoughts, grateful for how her life looks?

And if you’ve already written a scene like this…I’ll sit over here (im)patiently waiting.

hi, @chelsshearman!

good to hear from you again! i'm so glad to know you're enjoying the story so far.

i've taken a while to come up with an answer to your (very thoughtful) question, and though i can't show any prose from that part of the story just yet without revealing some major accidentsverse spoilers, i can offer you a more pared down answer after the "keep reading," if you're interested.

note: in order to avoid major accidentsverse spoilers, i purposefully use ambiguous language surrounding sara's pregnancy in this answer.

__

sara knows from experience: trauma doesn't adhere to a strict calendar.

sometimes exact anniversaries are bad, but other times the days and weeks surrounding are when the cptsd symptoms really hit.

november has historically been a crapshoot for her, any day—not just the exact anniversary of her father's murder—liable to be a bad one, the whole month something of a slog.

though she is hopeful: now that her wedding anniversary falls mid-month, maybe she'll have better associations going forward.

she is well-aware of this temporal idiosyncrasy in her brain, and so is her therapist, which is why he starts counseling with her in mid-april about what to anticipate come may, for what will be the first anniversary of her abduction by natalie davis.

admittedly, she is, at this point, distracted. not only is there a lot going on in her life pregnancy-wise, but things are busier than ever at work. by now, she is no longer in the field and has instead become the de facto "point person" for her teammates at the lab, which, contrary to what she had expected, has somehow upped her caseload. still, she tries her best to complete her therapy assignments with what few spare hours she has. is diligent about going in for sessions. practices all of the self-care techniques her therapist recommends. stays on top of taking her meds. makes sure to look after herself as well as she can.

—and especially because grissom is so obviously worried about her.

not only does he admit as much outright, sans prompting, but he also is so careful with her. he had already been wonderfully attentive, but now she hardly even has to think she might want something before he appears to offer it. she swears to god: the man is telepathic. also, far too sweet.

thankfully, as the calendar turns over into may, there are some fun, new pregnancy developments to help to take her mind off the impending anniversary: grissom is finally able to feel kicking. (for a long time, she had felt fetal movements internally, but they hadn't been detectable in any external way.) also, a first instance of fetal hiccups, which is just about the weirdest, coolest sensation she has ever experienced.

that said, about two weeks before the big anniversary™, she does start experiencing some "trauma residuals" from her abduction. she's not having flashbacks or nightmares or full-on panic attacks, per se; she just feels off. spacey. emotionally unbalanced. like everything in her head has just been shifted two inches to the left of where it should be.

she keeps expecting to have some kind of big breakdown at some point, but the catharsis doesn't ever come.

and, honestly, the lack of punctuation is what bothers her more than anything.

she confides in grissom: she's scared. she tried to get out ahead of her trauma by "doing all the right things," but she is still being affected, not in any obvious, dramatic way but enough so that her trauma is inarguably impacting her behavior. coworkers keep asking her if she’s okay. looking like they don’t fully believe her when she says she is. she can’t help but be concerned: what if the same thing happens a few years on from now? the last thing in the world she would ever want to do to her child(ren) is make them feel like mommy's sad or upset for no reason.

so she and grissom talk the issue through: they both agree that trauma is a fickle thing—particularly as trauma reactions can't always be pinned down to one day or easily predicted in terms of how they'll manifest. show great variance in intensity, duration, form, etc. also can't be totally prevented, even if one tries to account for them as much as possible. chances are, she will be dealing with after effects—from her childhood, from her abduction—for the rest of her life.

sara explains: logically, she knows all of these things. but she still doesn't want their child(ren) to suffer for having a traumatized parent. she has experience that way with her own mother. remembers how helpless she felt when she was little, watching her mother struggle; how much she internalized her mother's sadness and anger. though as an adult, she (mostly) knows better now, back then, she wondered if she caused or exacerbated her mother’s misery and questioned why she wasn't enough to make her mother happier.

here, grissom digs in: "and did your mother ever answer those questions for you?"

her silence tells him no.

grissom offers his postulate: the truth might have helped—not by making sara’s mother “magically better” but by allowing sara, even as a child, to contextualize the situation and understand her mother's mental health conditions existed independent of anything having to do with her. just hearing, in no uncertain terms, that her mother wasn’t sad for any reason having to do with her may have alleviated some of her misplaced guilt.

sara agrees: they should be honest with their child(ren) and explain things at a level they can understand.

but she still worries: it will be a long time yet before they can have those kinds of honest conversations. what will happen in the meanwhile? babies pick up on their caretakers' cues and moods, after all. she doesn’t want to do damage by exuding sadness or fear in their child(ren)’s presence.

grissom reassures her: in all the time they've been together, even during periods when her mental health has been at its poorest ("even in november"), he has always felt loved by and safe with her. he has not been oblivious to her sadness and fear. but he also has never felt that those reactions in her negated her affections. he suspects their child(ren) will feel the same.

still, she makes him promise: if she ever gets to the point where she can't be a good caretaker of their child(ren), he'll intervene. "that was part of the problem," she explains, "with my parents. no matter how miserable things got, no one said anything or did anything about it. no one asked for help. we all just sat there with it."

grissom agrees: they'll ask for help if they need it. offer help when they see it's needed, even if it hasn't been asked for. and neither one of them will give up.

the promise does make sara feel somewhat better.

—though, of course, it doesn’t fully alleviate her cptsd symptoms.

may proves to be a hard month, not only because of the trauma but for other reasons, too.

[insert major accidentsverse spoilers here]

but it also is not without happy moments—sometimes impossibly happy, like the first time they see a footprint, clearly discernible for what it is, show through the skin of her belly—and, most importantly, never without love.

she reflects: one year ago, she was alone in a desert, sure she was going to die. now, she is never alone, and she has never been surer of what she has to live for. lying in bed with grissom, his hand over the footprint protruding slightly below her navel, she feels a kind of peace she could never have imagined she would feel, just one year on from that day. she knows: what happened to her will stay with her for the rest of her life—will sometimes rear up in unaccountable ways—but it won’t be what defines her. won’t be the main throughline in her story. she’s writing that one herself, here, now. and she loves where her story is headed.   

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.