#i had to post again bc it wouldnt show up in tags for some reason

[speakofthedebbie]

you (read: i) asked so you shall recieve: radioapple fic recs august 2024 update!!

the following are the ones from the last post w/some minor changes (think: misspellings and even more osas praising) (sorry for the re-tags!!):

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 4 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic. has the same vibe as bedtime rituals, but it is NOT a sequel

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

if youre even half the radioapple fanatic i am and havent read this, literally what are you doing?? i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, with some daily compliments sprinkled along the way, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i foam at the mouth every friday

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. lilith is particularly an asshole even tho we havent seen her yet (or maybe we have. idr, mightve chatted with al) also emily is there (fallen) and has a lil smth to do with als and liliths deal. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6-7 (rosies words) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s(30s?) au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and mimzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent off for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

new recs below!! ↓↓

Alastor and Lucifer do whatever the Hell this is (series) by Vagabond_Sloth (personally asked, no Tumblr, but they might make one 👀)

i know this is radioapple fic rec post but... *cough* Husk and Angel do a Romance for some soft huskerdust *cough* anyway- basically, a perplexing flower arrangement leads to a blossoming something between the resident radio demon and king of hell. seriously, its some good shit, and the author is really nice!

A Compliment A Day by @decembercamiecherries

spinning this around in my head at all times

basically, a classic "charlie makes al and luci compliment each other as a bonding excessive" but it does not disappoint (check out her other three radioapple fics too)

a lovely night (lalaland is that you??) and pancakes, small talk by @mirotic_chess (X Twitter account)

in a lovely night they do a lil dancey dancey and in pancakes, small talk luci makes some pancakes!!

Sin and Sentiment and Time On My Hands by demon_fawn (supposed Tumblr leads to a dead end)

oh my god future debs here and i am so fucking tired of doing these descriptions but. um. the plot for sin and sentiment def seems very interesting and time on my hands is an incomplete (but good!) attempt at radioapple week. hmm not sure if they still post bc the most recent update was july 12th

honestly just every radioapple fic by @otoshigo (i think ive read all but Forbidden Fruit of the Poisonous Tree)

if you look underneath the little island that is radioapple, on god otoshigo is one of the creators holding it up. all 19 (yes, 19. we eatin good tonight [excluding forbidden fruit]) of their radioapple fics are fantastic, buuut if i had to recommend anything specific: A Guide to the Care and Maintenance of the King of Hell (fuck count furfur!) and The Devil's Trip to the Big Apple

not to continue the trend, but basically anything by @thief-of-eggs (even the singular huskerdust) but personal recommendations: Trust and Hair Pets and Let Me Be Your Shelter (sickfics 🔛🔝)

idk if youll catch me doing the descriptions for these anymore shit was exhausting

tagging time!!!! (i want to end it all)

[forbearnan]

afraid

Arthur’s perspective after he’s been stabbed by Mordred; Merlin’s confession / canon compliant, dialogue taken from the show / short character study ~ 1200 words

-

He falls on the battlefield. Sword still in hand. And he wakes up, dead.

When he rouses. There’s a fire burning just in front of him. and he sees Merlin, his dark head turned towards the trees.

It’s almost like a dream. He must be dead; because his friend had left him.

“Merlin,” he speaks.

The man turns in an instant and he is at his side as he always should have been.

“How are you feeling?” the question is urgent and Arthur wants to say he’s fine but he can feel the ache through his body, radiating from his torso and it would be a lie. He tries to move and finds himself crying out as the pain spikes. 

Not dead then, he decides, because he can feel the stab wound in his side, where Mordred’s blade had pierced him.

Merlin had been right.

“Easy,” Merlin’s voice comes and he can barely hear him as he stares up at the canopy of the trees. Arthur reaches for him blindly, hand easily finding his friend’s shoulder. “Lie back, lie back,” Merlin’s voice tells him, low and familiar as he grasps Arthur’s arm and keeps him there.

“Where– where ‘ave you been?” he struggles out the question because he needs to know. What was more important, than this final hour? So important it could tear Merlin from his side. It hurts.

“It doesn’t matter now,” he answers, voice solemn.

And Arthur finds it to be true. What does it matter now? It was over. Pain grips him.

“Ah! My si– my side,” he forces his voice back to something even as he speaks. He was a king, after all.

“You’re bleeding,” Merlin agrees, staring down at the wound. His words are calm but Arthur can feel the way Merlin’s fingers grip onto his wrist brace.

He struggles for breath and struggles to lift his head to look at Merlin, before dropping it heavily again and settling for staring up into the bright moonlight.

“That’s alright,” he says with a wry lift of his eyebrows, “thought I was dying.” Humor is easy, even now, if he could make Merlin smile one last time, that would be enough.

Merlin moves closer to him and at this angle its easier to see him leaning over Arthur, not smiling. No, he looks grim as ever. Grim as he always seemed to be in these last few years.

“I’m sorry,” he starts. And Arthur shakes his head, looking away from him and swallowing. He wants to tell him not to apologize. Merlin had not done this. This was not on his hands. And if it had been, like he said: It doesn’t matter now.

But he goes on, “I thought I’d defied the prophecy.” He looks back at the man above him, who was still holding onto him desperately. “I thought I was in time,” he adds, voice low.

Arthur can’t help the confused smile that pulls at his lips even as his face stays twisted in pain. His head falls back and he rolls his eyes letting the smile drop off his face and trying not to let the pain take over, “what are you talking about?” he asks. Even now, he could never make sense of Merlin. He stares off into the woods, Merlin had always been his closest friend and he wishes that, for once, something about him could be simple.

“I defeated the Saxons,” Arthur blinks and turns to look at him, “the dragon, and yet–” And Arthur sees the heartbreak in his eyes and hears the truth in his words, and none of it makes any sense at all. He watches Merlin struggle out the words, “and yet I knew it was Mordred that I must stop.”

He lets all of that go and decides it doesn’t matter if he can comfort Merlin. None of this was his doing. He gives him his best smile and lifts his hand to pat his shoulder a few times because it’s all he can do, “the person who defeated them, was the sorcerer,” he tells him easily.

These words only seem to serve to make Merlin look more wretched as he takes in a few uneven breathes, then, “it was me.”

There is a moment where, Arthur waits for him to crack a smile, for this to all be a joke and their last laugh together. It doesn’t come. Instead, his eyebrows furrow as he watches tears start to fall down his friends face as his breath shudders and he holds Arthur’s hand ever closer.

He shakes his head, and if Merlin won’t smile, he’ll do it for him, “don’t be ridiculous, Merlin,” he tells him because that’s what this is, ridiculous, funny, a joke. 

The man above him does not waver, does not look anything but sorrowful as he stares down at his king. His friend.

Arthur’s lip curls in distaste, he no longer enjoys this, he never has. “This is stupid, wh– why would you say that?” 

“I’m a–” his voice breaks and Merlin is no longer looking at him. Arthur stares at him in rising horror. Finally, he looks back up at him, fresh tears running down his nose as he says it, “I’m a sorcerer.”

Arthur stares at him hollowly, feeling as if he’s not really here at all and it is not because he’s dying. Gently, Merlin shakes his arm where he grasps it and admits, “I have magic.” He can only stare as Merlin sniffs and goes on, “And I use it, for you, Arthur,” he dips his head and keeps his grip on the base of Arthur’s hand, “only for you.”

“Merlin, you are not a sorcerer.” He tells him, voice certain and steady as he summons his strength to pull his hand from Merlin’s grip to gesture at his chest, “I would know.” He tells him, like it’s the simple truth, because it is.

Merlin’s hand moves to his shoulder like he can’t bear not to be holding onto him in some way. Arthur wishes he could just have his friend here, why, why did they have to do this? Why now?

“Look… here,” he offers, then turns away, reaching towards the fire, but not moving from Arthur’s side.

His voice hisses out a language that Arthur can’t understand, but he understands it is one of magic. Sparks drift up, naturally, until it isn’t natural anymore. They form a shape, a dragon, moving in the distortion of the smoke. He watches as it shifts, as though flying, then dissipates as they float away. Nothing makes any sense anymore.

He can’t look at Merlin, where he knows those eyes, which he thought were familiar, are waiting for him, watching him. For a long moment, he stares at the fire, he shifts away then, letting out a rough breath as he turns to look out at the trees as though they might hold some answer.

Finally, he looks back at Merlin, and for the very first time, finds himself afraid of the man. He glances to see Merlin’s hand still on his plated shoulder, he swallows and leans away as much as is possible in the state he’s in.

“Leave me,” he says.

Merlin’s brows furrow, like he can’t understand– like, he’s the one betrayed.

“Arthur–” he starts and reaches for him again.

He pulls his arm away, quickly, and it hurts, “don’t– just– you heard,” he struggles out the words. “Just…” he drops his arm, and grunts in pain, with no one, no one, not even his closest friend to hold onto, in this time of great need.

He lets his head tip back and tries to hold his arm in a way that doesn’t put weight on his torso. He breathes out labored breaths as he watches Merlin stand reluctantly and step away from him.

Arthur was not afraid of dying. Never had been. But being so alone, with the one person he thought he could always trust, so close. It was the most afraid he’d ever been.

[pinkmilkyblue]

❤️💛💚💙💜

me: *realizes i’ve never drawn all the sides in one project*

So here y’all go! These were really fun to make, and I hope you like them!

PLEASE REBLOG AND CREDIT ME IF YOU USE THESE ICONS!! THANKS!!

[indomies]

#showyourprocess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

sabrina @lanwangiji​, my love, tagged me to share my process of making this typography edit! check out her explanation of her the untamed edit and her edit tag. 

1. PLANNING

i once opened lyrics edit requests so i can learn and practice typography. this edit was a request as well. i asked them which lyrics they wanted to have and the colors they’d like. since i got several requests and it was hard to keep tabs on them, i made a trello board so i could organize everything. i’m still using the trello board for every edit idea i have, the board makes my life easier.

above is what i filled the card in the board with. basically just information of the requests.

1.1 INSPIRATION

once i got the request, my first thought was to find the vibe the song/lyrics exude. “it’s an old curse” screamed witchy vibes to me, so i went to pinterest to find some inspirations. at first i was looking for witchy poster designs and i came across this. i liked how it has smoke-ish graphic and i thought the smoke suited the “old curse” lyrics. and tbh pinterest is a rabbit hole, they gave me suggestions after suggestions, like this and this which became my inspiration for the color palette (i added the gold from those pics) and the sun moon design gave me the idea to incorporate space stuffs too. i somehow landed on this too, and because i wanted to include space theme, i made a simple phases of the moon. ultimately the hero of this edit was the lyrics, i didnt want the graphics took the center stage. i was inspired to make a crystal ball and do this kind of typography but after several trials i couldnt get the the typography right, so i scratched that idea and went with the space theme instead.

1.2 PICKING COLORS

after i was feeling inspired enough, i went looking for the right colors. i usually just type “color name” and “palette” on pinterest. example “dark grey color palette” and i chose the one i liked best. when the request only asked for 1 color, i always searched for either a complimentary or contrasting color to give it a jushz, to add sprinkles. that’s why i added gold on top of the dark grey. 

1.3 FINDING FONTS

this is the hardest part. the fonts play important role to the design. they need to convey the vibes of the lyrics, in this case witchy/magic vibe. i needed to find fonts or font just as magical and a bit whimsical. tho i hoard fonts... i like to use new font for every typography edit lmao sue me.

i highly recommend going to creativemarket free goods site, pixelsurplus font freebies and behance to search for fonts. i always use 100% free fonts, that means i can use it personally as well as commercially. creativemarket gives me desktop license for the fonts, which means i can use it for commercial as well. the reason i do this because i want to open an etsy shop someday, and i want to have the right license when i sell my stuffs. i almost never buy fonts bc they are expensive lmao. 

the fonts in used are “Vintage” for the main typograpy (i think i was a freebie from creativemarket) and “Morganite” for the title of the lyrics and the name of artist. 

2. CREATING

once i have my materials and ideas, i open my illustrator and hope it doesnt crash every 5 min.

for this kind of typography edits, i use 600x700 px. tbh i dont like using 540px, the suggested tumblr size, as the width bc to me it doesn’t look as good in quality, so i up the px. but more on this sizing later. i utilize the artboards function in illustrator, and i use 2 artboards.

i use illustrator (ai) bc i’m working with vectors. when i work with vectors, the graphics/texts or whatever im making in ai wont become blurry or lose its quality when i enlarge or shrink it. in compare to photoshop, i need to make for example the moon graphic very big, so i wont lose the quality when i reduce and enlarge it again. with vector, i can start small and when i expand it, it’s still as good as when it’s tiny. 

2.1 GRADIENTS

i started with the gradients first. i created a rectangle as big as 600x700px and with the “freeform gradient” tool in ai, i played with the colors. below is the color palettes i used

2.2 LYRICS AND GRAPHICS

once the gradients are done, i worked with the lyrics and graphics right away. when i first doing this edits, i made typos a lot lmaooooooo. so i copy and pasted the lyrics on top of my artboard, so i wouldnt have any typos. 

i had 3 layers in my ai. one for the inspo pics and the OG lyrics. the rest for the edits themselves. i broke up “It's an old curse/dreamers diving headfirst” into to parts, hence the 2 more layers

i almost always started with the lyrics first then the graphics. but for this edit, i made the smoke first so i can layout where my text would be.

tbh the process of making the lyrics is a trial and error. i tried bunch of different stuffs and i chose whatever the best. but i worked like methodically, i made sure i finished the first part of the lyrics first then i could move on.

i was lucky with this font “vintage”. the font offers me several glyphs like these

and i chose the one at the bottom. you’re very lucky if you find a font and they have glyphs.

excursion: glyphs vs fonts

glyph is an individual character. It might be a letter, an accented letter, a ligature, a punctuation mark, a dingbat, etc.

A font is a digital file which is used to display a typeface, which contains the entire upper- and lowercase alphabet as well as punctuation, numbers, and other special characters.

after i was finished with all the lyrics i added some graphics to make the edit pretty like small stars or dots. i added the song title and the artist too, sometimes at the bottom sometimes at the top. and i added my watermark put it as small as i could and made it a bit invisible but still can be seen.

2.3 EXPORTING

exporting! this is where i’m going to go deeper with the dimension of my work. in ai, i always choose to save with “export as screens” function. it automatically divides the artboards i have and save them separately. i always save as png, bc the size is smaller than jpg but can maintain the quality.

now the export tab looks like this

see the formats? i always scale up my edits, 2-3 times the original artboard size. reason is, to maintain the quality. i have tried to save it as original, 600x700 px, but it turned out a bit blurry. bc everything in ai is vector, when i scale up it doesnt lose the quality. BUT once i save it as png, it’s not a vector anymore, and when you zoom in until a certain degree it’ll be pixelated. that’s why i always scale up, to avoid it becoming pixelated when it’s just zoomed 1 or 2 times.

2.4 FINAL TOUCH

i opened my photoshop and also pray it won’t crash. import the png of my edits, add some grains/noise. the reason i use photoshop is, the noise filter is way better than in ai. it’s smoother somehow. and then i export my edits.

(i have a timelapse of how i made one of my edits, it’s not this one, but it’ll give you a better visualization. find it HERE

3. POSTING

now the hardest parts are done, we go to posting!

i uploaded the 2 posters on tumblr as photos then i wrote the captions. for this typography edit, i always chose another lyrics that i like from the same song for the caption. i bolded the lyrics, add link to all of my typography gradient edits.

i always use this link to color my caption. i usually choose 3-4 colors, and i took the colors from my edit. but this was not until recently lmao. before i just took a guess and looked for similar colors that match the edit, but then i thought “why didnt i just use the color in the posters lmao”

ok after i have my html code for the caption, i go to this site to replace the “;” with “ “ so tumblr can read the code.

i’m not one who puts their edits in draft, bc i just cant wait to post it. i have to option here, either i post it immediately when the time is right (i usually post between 4-8) or i schedule it, if im finished before 4. 

i put all the necessary tags and click post! i am done finally!

i’m tagging:

@thetriangletattoo​ for this amazing series

@deludedandlostcause​ for this impressive gif

@half-lightl​ for this spectacular edit

@gayndrew​ for this stunning drawing

@thechampagnelovers​ for this cool collage

@cloudslou​ for this incredible edit

@heyangels​ for this incredible edit

[golbrocklovely]

You don’t have to like every person or every girl sam and colby are friends with, and just because you dont it does not mean you are “jealous” or “ Misogynistic”. You guys really like to throw words around because you like them and because they are women without knowing if the asks you are getting are all from women.

Here is my reason ready;I liked Sam and Colbys videos because they explored and were daring. I genuinely had not seen other YouTubers do what they did because i wasnt paying attention to youtubers aside from Shane D. I HATED when they collabed with Jake and Corey, i thought they were extremely immature. I didnt like when Elton joined because he was bossy. With the girls they complain and get scared easily because this is NOT their niche. Stas claimed she was terrified and traumatized yet wanted to do merch right away and kept talking about it. Kat always hated this type of stuff, even in old videos she claimed she was religious and wouldnt dare go into this. Now shes been in a bunch of vids, something keeps “happening” to her and then she milks it, does reactions, tries to adopt stuff she wasnt even near like the whole Sallie thing. And now the focus is not Sam and Colby but Core4, which i don’t care about. Show me abandoned mansions and proof of entities, i could care less what photo dump Stas and Kat posted, let them do them with out making it about the 4.

I hate personally the whole insta model become famous just by association or posting stuff. I like people that put in the work to make connections, travel, shoot, and edit stuff and people that are involved or actually into this type of stuff. For example i agreed Mykie and Xepher would be cool to join. Amber not so much because she would probably get hurt and be too bubbly. If Kat and Stas want to rave and party and do that whole scene perfect, but to include them into all the paranormal stuff like merch and trying to make this core4 thing happen it annoys me, i think sam and colby lost what the real purpose of their channel was by having all these people come along.

Seth’s gf explores and does paranormal stuff, theres plenty of girls that do. But they bring along the pretty friends that are just going to complain and then actively milk it because they are connected. You have no idea how much ive had to block because i dont even see Sam and Colby stuff on the tag now but Stas and Kat and core4. And if i have to see one more video where what kat feels is discussed and completely ignores that Colby has a gift i will scream.

…i never said that if you dislike the girls that you are misogynistic or have it internalized, or even that you're jealous of them. i said that that can apply to some ppl that don't like them.

also, women can be misogynistic equally as much as men. we live in the patriarchy, we all have a bit of misogyny built in. even i. it's something we all have to continue to work thru.

that being said, if you don't like the collabs snc do with stas and kat, that's totally fine. i get it. just like i don't like the collabs they do with amanda.

however for the content that gets posted outside of youtube (insta, twitter, ect), that stuff is literally just them hanging out as friends. and they don't exactly hang out as often as it seems (minus kat and sam for obvious reasons). it all seems like a lot bc some fans talk about them hanging out together well after they have. and it seems like a lot of core four content has been made recently only bc of coachella. but even that alone has only created a couple pics and two or three tiktoks/reels from the group iteslf.

the same thing happened with vegas, the livestream, and colby and stas' bdays. it only seems like a lot bc ppl talk about it for longer periods of time. the group itself doesn't drum up as much content as you think.

but again, if you don't like snc collabing with them, that's totally fine. i can see why them in a video investigating isn't fun for you. i never said you had to like them. and i wouldn't expect everyone to.

and yeah ngl i need to know more about colby's abilities. like asap lol

[shamemp3]

POSITIVE 20 QUESTIONS TAG GAME

@demondeals thank you for tagging me this was SO MUCH FUN!! ily!!

1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

aah this is hard okay so first and foremost peter parker. he’s one of those characters that have always been relatable in almost every aspect of life since i was a kid, especially when it comes to how he deals with his feelings and like his emotions and humor and his problems in general?? and then also jake peralta also because of feelings and how he tries to avoid them and be all!! fun fck yea!! and humor and idk?? also i love amy santiago so... third i think is percy jackson bc no thoughts head empty and he is impulsive and also brave and i would like to think that i am brave?? and yeh im trying to make this as short as possible and only vaguely explain but. it’s not working ksdfjbv okay fourth character is stiles stilinski ig?? like sarcasm and humor again, and idk this is all repeating but it all comes back to how he deals w his feelings and guilt and problems and idk the reasons are mostly the same with all these characters and yea there’s more but i feel like i am talking too much so i will stop skjdbvjk

2. Aesthetic

milkshakes and fries, neon lights, blasting the car radio, doing literally anything as long as it’s with friends, city lights, train rides at night, playing video games till sunrise, campfire smell, denim and flannels, drive-in movies

3. Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?)

uhh i’ve only listened to hamilton which had some really cool beats! ive also listened to a few songs from dear evan hansen, wicked, mean girls, and oh now that i think about it i’ve seen the shrek musical on netflix and 10/10 phenomenal in every way that’s my favorite one

4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

i know i’ve gotten compliments but for some reason i cant remember any?? like the second i read this question my brain went whoosh. idk probably whenever people tell me im funny or notice that im keeping my cool in a situation that is very NOT cool?? idk i really cant think of any rn jdfsbksdjb but there have definitely been compliments that i have thought about for weeks bc i was like....omg? me? kinda sad that i dont remember them i really hope i do soon bc i wouldnt wanna forget smth like that sjkdbdvhsb

5. How many times have you been in love?

i don’t think i’ve ever been in love (at least romantically)? im not certain but im 90% sure i haven’t. but when it comes to friends and family, sososos many times i lvoe them all

6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

uhhh i got pantsed in like grade 7 bc i was being dragged across the floor and then this 9th grader came up to me in the middle of the hallway and yelled “HEY I SAW YOUR ASS” i wanted to perish

7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

ooh probably zootopia or wall-e!!

8. Favorite flower or plant?

this is hard! i love ferns and sunflowers and hydrangeas and ooh also vines 

9. What’s your favorite holiday?

i love new year’s eve! it’s just fun because we all just stay up and celebrate and there’s always this feeling of “oh i got through another year!” also 4th of july but not bc of the actual holiday just bc my old town used to have these 4th of july carnivals that were crazy fun and i used to go like almost every day when the carnival was in town

10. Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

first one is my school posted a picture of me graduating on their facebook and my mom sent them the link to look at it and when they pressed on it they started replying to my mom thinking it was on whatsapp but they left like 7 comments on the school’s post in arabic so that was funny as fukckjdbf, second is atla bc i love that show and everyone is so precious, and number 3 is literally any conversation with any of my friends

11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

axel f by crazy frog. next question

12. Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

probably watching one of my favorite movies (mr. popper’s penguins or itsv tbh) or like just going on any of my friend’s gcs and sending memes and stuff

13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

i plan on going into chemistry!! i might also minor in computer or environmental science, but i’m still undecided! crazy because up till a few months ago i had zero idea what i wanted to do and my plans kept changing like every week

14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

probably my denim jacket or my really big red sweatshirt? idk tbh i really only buy clothes that i know i would feel myself in and that i would be comfortable, but i think those two are probably my favorites?

15. What is a quote you live by?

power of people is stronger than the people in power because i want to take down the evil government. this is the first one i thought of so it’s staying skjvbjksdb

16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.

i have ‘AAAAHHHHHHH’ and i have ‘mitten ski’ which is a playlist composed entirely of mitski songs

17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

wanna touch knees?

18. What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

please stand up for urself and talk ab ur feelings for the love of god it’s ok to admit to being not ok ?? also everything in the world is not ur fault, chill btich

19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

i can’t really do this bc i really do love all of them in a different way. i’m definitely closest to my mom because i’ve lived with her all my life, but i still can’t pick favorites

20. What’s a secret dream of yours?

to be an astronaut pls this isn’t a secret i just really want to be an astronaut or a superhero pls someone give me a radioactive eel bite or send me to space or something. also to be able to be more open w people and to visit aleppo again 

i’m tagging: @natasharxmanov @anthonydarling @parkersedith @jessjones @anxieteandbiscuits if you guys want to!!! ily all very much

[ayellowcurtain]

can you write one for elu where lucas sees some series of suspicious texts in eliott's phone and seriously thinks eliott is cheating on him (bc the texts are kinda obvious) which turns to him being kind of paranoid for a while (not long) and finding more "proofs" so finally he confronts eliott. crying and ofc eliott finds it ridiculous cause lucas is his everything.but it was actually idk just a classmate of eliott's texting their bf/gf from eliotts phone bc of some reason

can you write something april fools related? like prank goes wrong kinda thing? i mean i dont think any of them would make a break up prank but maybe they thought the other wouldnt take it seriously since its ridiculous for them to break up but then it gets a bit serious and sad but they're happy at the end ofc. 

Could you write something with maybe Lucas overhearing some girls saying how hot Eliott is and him getting all jealous and territorial

------------------------------------------------

Lucas loves Mika, but he doesn’t trust him completely. Sometimes he doesn’t think about consequences or doesn’t take things seriously. 

He needed some company to go out tonight. Apparently he had a bad couple of dates and needed to forget about it tonight, but everyone already had plans and Lucas and Eliott were his last hope. Lucas agreed to it last night when Mika texted him, but now he’s not in the mood, too tired after a long day. 

Eliott is excited to go out, so Lucas tells him to go with Mika and he will stay home, go to bed early if he can. 

Eliott checks with him a few times while getting ready to see if Lucas haven’t changed his mind. He gives Eliott a long, passionate kiss before he lets him go meet Mika. He smiles to Lucas and says he’ll be home soon. 

Lucas is relieved to be alone tonight. He woke up in a bad mood and had a stressful day at school, that’s probably why he and eliott were also in a weird funk, so it’s nice to he at the comfort of his house in complete silence. He takes a long shower, puts his and Eliott’s clothes to wash, etc.

While cooking something later, he puts some classical rock to listen to, looks around when he’s back to the bedroom, looking at their beautiful, comfortable, tiny oasis. Since he got his room back, he and Eliott redecorated (with Manon’s help) everything, bought some plants to hang on the ceiling next to the window, changed the beddings, donated some clothes so both their closets could fit into one. 

It feels cozy, warm, safe, a little bit like a jungle. 

Lucas already chose a movie to watch, crawling underneath the covers. Before he can press play, he decides to check his messages. Nothing yet. 

Don’t be a babysitter. He knows how to handle himself.

He presses play, adjusting his pillow. It’s not the best movie, but it’s not a waste of time either. He puts another one right after, an action movie to keep him awake. 4 a.m and the second one is over. Lucas had to fight to not fall asleep during this one, so he turns his notebook off, putting it on the table. 

Ok, his time alone could be over already if it was his choice, he misses Eliott and having his big, warm body to cuddle before falling asleep. But Lucas is happy that he’s out, having fun. He turns off his lamp, checking his phone and there’s some messages, all from Mika.

Mika sent him a bunch of photos. They’re apparently in a photo booth with a bunch of other guys and two girls. Eliott has his arm around some guy’s shoulders, seeming to fit it perfectly with the group, he’s really out going when he wants to so it’s not a surprise to Lucas how well he fits with Mika’s friends. The jealous side of Lucas doesn’t like how close the guy is to Eliott, but there’s nothing going on, it’s just him being possessive. And the other guy seems very young, younger than Lucas. 

The last picture ruins his entire night in a second, making him jolt on his bed, sitting and opening the picture, zooming in. His boyfriend with his wet, flat tongue out and the guy is really close, nearly sucking his boyfriend’s tongue. 

Mika posted something on instagram, tagging Lucas in it. He opens the notification and it takes him to the post. It’s a close up of that photo, only showing Eliott and that kid that he has his arm around, tagging Lucas and Eliott on Eliott’s tongue. 

As he freezes, looking at the photo again, he can see comments coming it, a bunch of guys and some girls asking who the guy in the picture is, someone already answering with Eliott’s instagram. Lucas’ vision is blurred, he’s trying hard not to cry or to freak out. 

This is what Lucille was talking about. 

He tries to racionalize but somedays it feels too much and he just needs to shove some sense into Eliott. Lucas types and sends his answer to all the thirsty people. 

He’s taken. 

A minute later Mika deletes the photo. Lucas suddenly feels sleepless. getting up from his bed and leaving his phone behind, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands, cleaning his face with his shirt afterwards. 

Lucas was naive to think he would be enough for Eliott and that things would be different from what they were with Lucille. Maybe he got it all wrong and Eliott is happier when single or when he’s able to have whoever he wants, whenever he wants to. 

And Lucas can’t do that, he’s too jealous and too insecure to be in an open relationship. He can’t seem to stop crying, a blue light enlightens his room, Eliott is calling but Lucas doesn’t answer, too riled up, he would probably say things he would regret. 

He doesn’t know what to do, would much rather not have to see Eliott or Mika again any time soon, but it’s the middle of the night, he can’t just leave. Where he would go? Manon is not home, Yann is probably sleeping and he wouldn’t have the courage to bother anyone else with his relationship drama. 

So he lets his feelings take over again, sitting on the floor, hiding his face on his hands. He can feel his heart shattering and once he cried everything he could, his walls start to build around him again.

Lucas feels tired, his body aching from crying for way too long. It’s just a stupid picture! He gets up from the floor, hoping to throw himself in bed and fall asleep for days, lock himself from the outside world. 

But before he can reach his bed, he hears loud voices. Eliott and Mika are back. Mika is screaming his name and Lucas feels like punching him, not looking at his face ever again. They both barge in to the bedroom, Mika calling for Lucas again, almost running into him, standing in the middle of his room. 

“Lucas!! Hi, baby!” He tries to hug him, but Lucas steps back. Eliott looks wasted and full of guilt and Lucas feels like punching him too. 

“Can you leave me alone?” He has to gather all his strength to form a single question, Eliott takes a step forward, in front of Mika. 

“Lucas...”

“Can you leave me alone?” He raises his voice, stepping forward too, ready to throw both of them out of his bedroom. 

“It was a joke!! Nothing happened!” Mika explains loudly, laughing but he’s the only one. 

“I DON`T GIVE A SHIT, MIKA!” 

Eliott takes another step forward, putting a hand on Lucas’ chest, kind of trying to calm him down, kind of trying to stop him from getting closer to Mika. 

“Nothing happened, Lucas. I swear...” 

“It was more than fucking enough, Eliott!” He nearly screams again, looking at the boy in front of him, trying not to cry again. “You’re such a fucking idiot!” 

Lucas can feel Eliott’s hand shaking on his chest but he can’t bring himself to care now. 

“We are done, Eliott. I can’t do this.”

“No, no, no, we’re not done, Lucas.”

“Yes, we fucking are.” He means it, says every word looking into Eliott’s perfect eyes. 

“Baby, we were just kidding, trying to make my friends’ boyfriend jealous.” Mika doesn’t seem to realize the seriousness of the situation, Eliott ignores him completely, freaking out inside, thinking that he’ll loose the man of his life because of a stupid joke. 

“Yeah, it worked out perfectly, didn’t it?” Lucas looks at him and Eliott can’t have this anymore, he needs to talk to Lucas, so he turns around, trying to walk Mika out of the room. 

“Get out, Mika, now. We need to talk.” 

“We don’t have anything to talk about, Eliott.” Lucas answers, but he ignores, closing the door as soon as Mika is out, locking the door. 

“We do, I won’t let you break up with me over some shit like that.” 

“It’s not “some shit”. You kissed someone else, posted all over the fucking internet and expect me to be fine with it?” 

“I didn’t kiss him, Lucas!!! I swear! Nothing happened. It was a stupid photo and as soon as I saw it I asked Mika to delete it.” 

“So if Mika hadn’t posted it, I would have never known, even better.” 

“No, that’s not it! He sent all the pictures to you!” 

Lucas can’t hold back the tears, he’s so angry he can’t even think straight.

“I hate you so much right now, Eliott!” 

Eliott is holding back his tears, desperate, holding Lucas’ face and trying to kiss him, put some sense back into his head, show him what they have and how Lucas doesn’t hate him but he pushes Eliott’s hands off of his face. 

“Please, Lucas, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would get this upset.”

“I don’t care right now. I’m going to bed.” 

“Ok...” Eliott doesn’t seem to understand, going around the bed to his side. 

“No, you’re not sleeping here. Go cuddle Mika for all I care, I don’t want you here.” 

Lucas is a lot shorter, but he doesn’t act like it, pushing Eliott out of his room. The other one is still in shock (and too drunk) to fight back, when Lucas finally stops pushing him, he tries to turn around and stop him, but it’s too late, Lucas slammed the door on his face and he can hear him locking it from inside. 

[dontyouhearmehowling]

oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

—————

ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

—————

ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

[dancinginmydressinthesun]

3 for the unusualish asks💞

Oh I will girl ( you should have NOT give me that number right after the bold type season finale)

I cannot rant about Taylor bc everythings good and I’m living for that so lets just go with my favourite show and how fucked up everything is, I am usually not someone who voices their opinion too much especially on here bc thats just not the type of person I am but anyway 

The Bold Type has been my favourite tv show and if you have never seen it I still recommend you do bc overall its still a damn good show dont get me wrong if it does not seem like that (there are several reasons to watch it and I want it to become more popular so pls do)

Well, I started watching it right at the beginning, June/July last year when the first episode aired and BOI it blew me away, like, i did not expect anything major BUT lemme just say it destroys every other show its just that good (I love the girls it focuses on individually and together, the boss is full perfection, the main ship (a bi girl of colour and a proud muslim lesbian) was breathtaking, the storylines were on point and emotional and it just idk maybe they set the bars too high)

So the second season started airing beginnign of june and you know, I WAS worried before that they could not keep up but I had SO MUCH faith (but it also seems like the writers were kind of replaced and man that shows) the first few episodes were fire alright which is even worse bc i had lost all my worries and knew I was gonna be fed the whole season but little did I know …

You know I really hate complaining too much about something about a tv show that is there to enjoy and make me happy so I’ll stop thinking about it after this post but I do get the frustration so much (but death threats and bashing the whole show is not helpful whoops I said it) 

Just a few short notes on things that anger me a little (I’m probably forgetting thigns but anyway):

1. Jane (she is one of the three main girls) I really like(d) Jane a lot and I feel like I can identify with her, we are very much alike in many ways and this especially showed in season 1. I dont “hate” her at all after this season, not even dislike her, but she they used her for almost all (?) the controversial topics as the one who makes rude and subtle offensive comments, which is not bad in itself bc she learned from it mostly all the time and apologizes but it was just too often and much for me. in the first season Jane seemed at least trying to be more understanding even when she could not really and she was relatable with her concerns and her feelings and this was not really the case for me this season. I felt like she did not own up enough for some mistakes and it did not give me this tbt feeling of happiness and goodness and wholesomeness I had after every damn episode last season????

2. Screen Time (Jacqueline/Alex/Adena) You could probably talk about everyone of them in detail now but I dont have the energy - let me just say Adena and Jacqueline are my favourite characters so maybe I am biased and I know that this whole post need to be edited probably after I rewatch the season bc I can easier give feedback when everything is fresh in my mind but you know, all we fans wanted was to have backstorys (and bc he didnt really get one either this probably applies to Oliver too) not even much, just maybe like the episode in season 1 when we got to learn more about Jacquelines family and her past in general (still crying), it was so well-written bc it was not just something thrown in there but integrated in the storyline, it had purpose, it was emotional, it gave insight into her character and I honestly saw her with different eyes after that (and loved her even more), now those 3 or 4 just are really pushed to the sides. You dont see Adena without Kat really or talking about her character without it being about her sexuality and Kat (oh hey a gay one complaining about that??  yes bc even tho I answer I am gay after someone asks me “how are you” theres more to a person and especially to someone as interesting as Adena. I love hearing non heteros talk about their love life and everything surrounding it but at least then let Adena talk about how her coming out was, what she finds interesting in other women, if she ever struggled with it (i know they tried to cover some things but naah idk i just expected more) or just talk about something else, let us see her going to the movies with friends, a childhood throwback when she was in art class, let her talk about what she likes about some types of art. AND HER WHOLE CULTURE? I am a white western woman and I never see muslim representation on tv and I feel like still havent? i forgot at some point?! there are so many non-white people watching it hoping to be represented and ofc you cannot please everyone but now it just feels like Adena is just a proud lesbian you know. And Alex? what who was that again?

3. the storylines - sooo first of all, I liked the storylines more than most people probably from what I have seen on the tag. I think some of them were hard to put in just one episode and try to talk about everything important and still have  show going on, which is why it did not work all the time  have less storylines but make them work would be better. I really did appreciate that they tried to have a lot of stuff covered and they tried to put different points in there but there were a lot of het relationship and other drama stuff to be shown so the storys were often pushed too hard to the sides. this I say having the gun episode in mind the most i felt really unsatisfied after it and I was really looking forward to it bc i think its important and brave for them to talk about it (anyway watch one day at a time, the episode on the same matter is pure gold) . idk its alright its not the same feeling its less spectacular but I’ll stop whining about that now.

4. KADENA - I’ll try to be objective here , i do get that you cannot have a happy relationship without anything going on for 10 episodes (ok you can I would love that but maybe its less wise when it comes to viewers idk?? i stan unpopular shows so who am I to know) BUT come on, not like this?? they started of as PERFECT alright and then it all went downhill, you know cheating and stuff idk, I am not happy with it, could be more original, could be less meh but whatever I was like “ ok I’lll roll with it maybe its gonna bring a new light in this, let them grow, let them learn” but man idk. it was all a mess and once they made up and everything was fine (after 3 epsiodes of pure stress for my weak heart) after 5 minutes there was something new? almost any interaction was either them arguing or making up. I liekd their conversations mostly I really did but I was tired of drama all the time, after this season I’ll just say it: If they want to continue it like that until the end of season 3 I’d rather have them not together anymore. its no fun, its stress for them and even more for me and it would not seem realistic when they make them endgame at the very last minute (which I assume they will bc they promote it like that) without using multiple episodes and time passing to really let them grow in the relationship, without that it would just feel like one day after the finale of season 3 they would have somethng else coming up to fuck them up again. I was really baffled with the finale bc I WAS NOT expecting that they really wouldnt resolve it at all let us suffer like this (I remember that Nikohl i think said that it would be like that but someone else also said recently that it really feels like a finale and that the fans would feel assured but excited for the next season but excuse me? tbt fans who are happy about that end are great. would love to meet one one day. but where they at?? suttard fans all 3 of you I am happy for you honestly. and for sutton. richard idc. i am bitter tho. 

I STILL HAVE SO MUCH HOPE FOR SEASON 3 (pls let the old writers come back, listen to the fans, there are not too many instead of trying to make it more appealing to the general public what about pleasing us again with friendship, gayness, depth and happiness?)

(& remember: I.love.this.show. i do. I would recommend it even when there would only be season 2. but it would not be my fave anymore. its like as if taylor would have the same albums with the same music, same career, same backstory BUT her not really caring about her fans. I would still love her as an artist so freaking much. but would I jump off building for her?? naah maybe if there were a balcony and a pool who knows 

Thanks for coming to my TED talk 

[thefreshchannel]

Hey I'm newish to the td fandom so do mind me asking who Tasha is?

I guess since she seems to have deleted i can tell the story now lmao

She was basically a fake identity created to harass """the populars™""" like if u heard of jaded teenage girl tashalovesnirvana u probably already know what her personality was like, but the td fanbase was basically her origins and it is an incredibly long story to tell u every little thing shes done so a tl;dr would be tasha is basically a harasser/stalker who traumatized a lot of people for many years. like she pretended to be so many other people and was very out for blood lmao. Also she was a fake persona, along w many others, created by the creator of theconfessioncam herself cherri (who hasnt been online since new years 2015) to make everyone miserable for “kicking her out the td fandom” 

BUT IF U WANNA KNOW THE FULL STORY IT’S UNDER A CUT CAUSE BOI IS IT LONG AND TYPING IT FELT UNREAL

I already spoke abt theconfessioncam so we'll just skip to the day the person behind it was exposed. The person behind it was called cherri (isabelle was her real name but we all called her cherri bc it was in her url)

Cherri was infamous amongst the fanbase bc she shipped chrindsay and wouldn't understand why others didn't, was mostly anti sj/w, liked and defended the one character who shall not be named at the time people were calling out the issues they had w the character (all ppl calling out the issues being neurodivergent while she was neurotypical also this is discourse i am not willing to touch again so dont even think abt sending asks about this lmao), created the phrase "screw you i'm getting my duncney on" and constantly commenting abt why the fandom was toxic and shit like that. Most people would ignore her at first until after theconfessioncam turned out to be her. Many people presented proof and evidence and now she was public enemy #1 like no one liked her and one night everyone started calling her out for her shit and like she immediately blew up. On everyone. I'm p sure after that night the whole plot started.

So like. Shortly after comes a person called "holly-so-jolly" (who then became holly-smokes-molly for a short period of time in late 2015? 2016? fuck idk but her fame was very short but thats another story)Holly befriended cherri and her group of uglies so fast by always being like "wow fuck the populars"  

the populars, a term coined in by theconfessioncam's anons, referred to ppl who would argue a lot abt smthn and others would agree w over well, cherris gang. Anyways holly would almost immediately always start a fight w the populars or say some problematic shit or stan for cherri a lot. I know y'all are wondering what this has to do w tasha but trust me we'll get there lol

A few days (maybe a day or two) after holly joins the fanbase, a new hateblog (SPECIFICALLY MADE TO SEND HATE ABOUT THE POPULARS) popped up. The populars would get anons about the hate blog seeing as it was so brand new that it wouldnt show up in the tag just yet. And these confessions were CRUEL. Like wishing death/murder upon these ppl, encouraging self harm, harassing minors (literally under 16 at the time), ableist comments, racism, transphobia, homophobia like it was all there. Someone else faked a new blog agreeing w these confessions and managed to speak to the new hate blog (this was someone who was undercover and managed to expose the person running that hateblog, which ended up being holly)

Holly then changed her url to winner-challenged to try to impersonate ryan, but them claimed to be other 2 people making an april fool's joke (in february no less lmao) and then she changed her persona completely to desireesparx and tried to pass off as a new person in the fanbase. But it didnt work and she deleted as fast as she came in. Antitotaldramapopulars only lasted one day. On the same day, theconfessioncam was deleted. People suspected cherri was behind all this all to which she claimed she wasnt but we all know the truth lol.

After holly hell, tasha fiasco started. And boy was tasha fucking persistent. Like she came in early 2014, and only JUST NOW DELETED. It is 2017.

Tasha-loves-duncney was ?? I guess ur basic td blogger who just loved duncney? No one had any thoughts of her at first until she made a post about not understanding why people hated mike. So people went on to explain. And i forgot rlly what happened but like tasha started getting more aggressive. Like she would reblog "the populars'" personal posts and mock them, she even added a comment hoping for the person's house to fall on them. Someone then made the "fly away tasha" comment and she CRIED because apparently she had been bullied for having a bird nose and been told that before so it only made the phrase stick. She then made an entire post saying rape wasnt bad or some weird ugly shit like that, and even after that she still had a few ppl supporting her (mostly other anti s/jws in the fanbase and cherris old friends ((also CHERRI WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND OR SEEN! SHE DISAPPEARED DURING ALL THIS LOL))) And that's when we all were all over her and i'm p sure it was when all the hate blogs came back.

I'm not sure if maybe i'm confusing it for another hateblog or if there was another one before this one (or i'm getting the timeline wrong bc is2g tasha deleted and came back so many times) but a confession blog popped up called "camerainthepotty" or smthn along the lines that just seemed to post whatever random weird asks ppl would send them. Then during that night it converted to tdgossipgirls and ?? It was such a weird blog lmao like just like antitotaldramapopulars, it aimed to bully the fandom populars in burn book style ? Tabloid magazine style? Point is we all knew it was tasha lmao and at this point it started to become clear who tasha really was. Whatever hateblog it was it would post fake edited asks allegedly sent by the populars themselves which gave us great classics such as "king bee ryan outtie!"

Anyways tasha liked another populars' personal post and people told her to delete bc it was a super heavy personal post. She claimed it was for support but like she finally deleted. And we were tasha clear for a few months? Weeks? (someone even took the url i think) so she then came back as "tashasbackbitches" and boi was she mad lmao. The whole tag asked her to fly away and she took a screenshot of it and claimed bullying. She then tried to ruin ale//noah day by posting pics of dunc/ney which compared to all she's done this is the most tame thing she had done but ppl were still mad abt that anyways lol. So i think a day later she made the anti-winnerchallenged blog specifically aimed at ryan for whatever reason. She ""accidentally"" made a post for anti-winnerchallenged on tashasbackbitches but like once ppl pointed it out something even weirder happened like it sounds fucking unreal but apparently it was a fake tasha???? According to real tasha??? Who was now back as "tashalovesduncney" with no hyphens?? And going to people's inbox saying that tashasbackbitches WAS NOT HER And that she had proof on her blog bc there was a pic of her holding a piece of paper w her url written on it and also an audio post explaining what happened.

So tashasbackbitches was deleted and now we were stuck with tashalovesduncney. Which at first was??? Idk but the audio post on her blog sounded high pitched like. It didnt sound like no human voice lmao. Also the pic of her had the piece of paper edited in. So someone pointed it out and like. She immediately assumed another ""popular"", cass, had sent it. And when i tell u this tasha was DARK AND OUT FOR BLOOD, I MEAN IT LMAO. Like tasha clung on to cass ever since. She would @ them and all that shit on posts and like. This tasha was out to attack. She would constantly say awful shit abt the populars and @ them in her posts, or she would @ well known anti sj/w blogs (such as p0ppypicklesticks, swimmninda/privilege u name it) and encourage them to slay our sjw asses. Not only that but now there was an anti-deadbyshawn blog to aim hate at cass specifically.

I guess at some point someone else came in the fandom by the name of staceyd123 and was received in many different ways like1. People assuming this was tasha2. People defending her bc she was a minor3. Tasha encouraging her to befriend her

However a lot of ppl started to believe this was a different person. She did befriend tasha and a lot of the ppl in the fandom and bc she was a minor a lot of the older kids protected her from tasha and constantly warned her. Sometime between that antitdpopulars came back and more fake asks were posted, populars were being blamed on for the blog to bring attention to themselves. Not sure if it was earlier or at this exact time but i think it would tie into the next event better.

so tasha and stacey had this BIG FIGHT i guess cause stacey outed tasha for running the new anti populars blog and in this fight tasha blamed stacey for staceys parents divorcing and stacey claimed tasha clipped her toenails in a voice call and like. It was so odd at this point tasha started making fake asks about the people who supported her lmao. Then she would submit herself to blogs to send love to ppl being bullied and then those ppl would fight us and the whole night was a mess. Stacey had deleted and then tasha kept her url. I'm p sure sometime later tasha deleted too?? She came back as a sideblog the next time.  

Stacey came back a bit around the same time and ofc had ppl on her side welcoming her back. Almost immediately. Another new persona came in at the time too known as ""fucknmacine18??"" He changed the url to "thechazmeister" or whatever but he was basically a dumb white straight dude fake persona that claimed to have abandoned the south park fandom. Once in the td fandom, he would reblog a lot of the girls selfies and make comments on them also claiming to fall in love w one of the populars? Two of the populars? Idk but point is him being there was. Irrelevant for a while. He would send uncomfortable asks to stacey apparently and also told tasha to fly away/rejected her or some weird shit that happened there idk the story of that but i know tasha was trying to befriend him and flirting w him lmao.

Several hateblogs came out too, one being psychoanalyzing the populars which would reveal incredibly personal information about them (based on their personal posts) and evaluate them. It was a really fucked up blog and no one knew how on earth she managed to get that information. The other one was very tame, it was battleofthepopulars or smthn like that which consisted of the populars being in a td  like setting and each being voted off everyday and like. No one rlly paid attention to it lol. In the end when she booted off one of the populars, she ranted that it was bc she had blamed cherri for something she didn't even do. Which was suspicious seeing as tasha wasnt here around that time, meaning this person knew about cherri being exposed as theconfessioncam.

During that same time, tasha was still very much clinging onto cass. Sending them fanmails as she couldnt send asks since she was on a sideblog. Meaning she followed ppl on an unknown main blog. Cass would receive over 200 fanmails a day from tasha. Tasha even changed her blog's url to match cass'. One night tasha got tired of being ignored and blackmailed cass into talking to them, or their friends would be harassed. The main tag was full of tasha posting edited pictures of ryan on the main td tag, personal posts of another one of cass' friends with the read more code taken off. It was a horrible night. But in the end tasha exposed her main blog was staceyd123. Tasha had faked being stacey which would explain how she managed to get the personal information for her psychoanalyzations blog. She explained it was because she was someone who got kicked out of the fandom by “tortellani and the other populars” and that she finally knew what it was like living like a popular. She then proceeded to spam the tag w animal gore knowing it was a heavy trigger for one of the populars. Stacey/tasha then deleted. Never to be heard of until...oh no wait, we almost forgot our buddy chaz.

So chaz stuck around and made dumb posts and like. No one really cared for him. Until he wanted to be seen as a threat so he made a hate blog on american thanksgiving day taking the populars' descriptions on their mobile blogs and making them bad adding racist/homophobic commentary. It was here where he stole 2 urls belonging to two other populars and tried to pass off as them. Cass had remade, but chaz took their current url (hottiemcfright) as well as the tortellani url belonging to the other person who had changed urls to avoid traffic from TiA. So that night chaz. God it was a blur but he pretended to be those two people and filled the tag w a bunch of animal gore. Tumblr did jump on that and deleted him. Chaz was another of tasha's personas so, NOW we don't hear of tasha until february of 2015.

So now under the url: tashalovesnirvana, she sent popular bloggers racist slurs thinking she was on anon and then begged for them not to be posted and theyre posted for everyone to read. No one thought twice about it when the screenshots were going around but eventually ppl in the td fanbase noticed that tasha had sent those. And i mean, you can basically look this up as it spread from just the td fandom to literally all of tumblr knew about her. They made her asks into copypastas. And it got rlly funny bc at some point she didnt even know who kurt cobain was.

Anyways after this mess she deleted but she came back. Except this time tumblr updated the blocking system so it could actually work. And boy did it work well. Tasha did get 15 minutes of fame (or less) again when she came back but everyone would just block her and she would never be heard of again. She was still there reblogging posts from the ppl she hated toLet them know. She would try to get their attention but. The moment she would contact them she'd get hit w the block button. So naturally she brought back her persona "holly" as a stoner girl "holly-smokes-molly" who also had a short lived fame but then, again, people stopped caring after they had blocked her.  One of her comebacks was her coming back as a woke feminist but no one else cared about her. Tasha was an old meme, so 2 years ago. No one else gave attention to her.

In 2017 she finally deleted. Like the url isnt even hoarded so that's how u know that it's all done. It took 3 years for her to leave us alone. 3 traumatizing years. A lot of the people involved were minors too.

I know i probably messed up some parts of this or got confused w the many hateblogs she made but like. Trust me when i say that she remade so many times it's hard to keep track of all the weird shit she has done. Also i've been typing this since 8am and i still shake a bit thinking about this lol.

[chickenfetus]

i was tagged by @softshouyous​ (my mum saw me trying 2 copy nd paste ur post fck i had a heart attack kill m, she proceeded to tell not to make friends online LMAO) 

how tall are you? - 5′0 // 154 cm what color and style is your hair? - black,, browish red tjat r like in streaks (making it look like its dyed even though its noT) when its in the sun and its like?? crazy idk man but ik its not straight what color are your eyes?- fucking black do you wear glasses or contacts? - glasses!!! do you wear braces? - yeahhhh its been 3 years dammit what is your fashion style? - bad its bad,,,, lol i wear fucking blue (the blue screen kinda blue) shorts with everything?? i need a better sense of fashion lololol when were you born?- december 26 folks u could just call me god how old are you?- 15,, ,, do you have any siblings? - an older brother just like falen what school/college do you go to? - what the fuck shit kinda qni is this what kind of student are you? - um. .... i always do my homework the day its due and study on the test day itself so im pretty great tahnks what are your favorite subjects? - biology and pe (wakes me up i love pE) what are your favorite shows? - theres voltron,, haikyuu!!, hmm m, daiya?? recently got back into that,, bnha at the moment ya. .. ..... what are your favorite movies? - i don’t really watch movies LOL (this is falen’s answer but im keeping it bc relatavke) what are your favorite books? - something that had to with the sun i dont remember the title its been so long since i pciked up a book what are your favorite past times? - staying at home pplaying my dum idol games and watching anime great lfie do you have any regrets?  - not being a better friend what is your dream job? - dying would you like to get married? where? - id like 2 get married 2 lance in space i’m leaving this question out because it was lame and creating my own. do you think chester the rat terrier is the cutest and greatest dog on the planet? - ??? same falen lmao th eufkc is this do you want kids? how many? - i already have so many do you like shopping? - i guess?? i never do it though no friends no time how many countries have you visited? - um. ... hm. .. many?? let me make a list so i can count

malaysia (kota kinabalu)

australia (perth, melbourne though i dont rmb that)

uk (london, manchester, liverpool, york, uhh, edinburgh??)

indonesia (bali!!)

thailand (phuket)

hong kong!! (thats in china i think lol even i dont know)

japan (hokkaido, tokyo i gotta go back i was young when i went)

that shld b all but knowing my memory i may have left one or two out tho i doubt that

what was your scariest dream? - had to do with roaches lmao do you have any enemies? - no real enemies but there was a girl and idk if she still thinks of me as her enemy (god i hope not) but she said i was her love rival (p sure shes dating the girl she thought i liked or smth) go her do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? - i have lance put your phone on shuffle. without skipping post the first 15 songs that play okay but let me finish this song first,, the songs will either b in japanese or english be warned (im gonna put a link to every song bc why not)

1. ok so first we have a cover of happy synthersizer by aho no sakata and some other utaite i dont hear much of anymore 2. fuck the next one is a lil embarrassing but yolo LMAO its unpredictable by 5sos (its old so it probably sounds bad but it sounds okay 2 me but i just might b deaf) 3. ok this is a good one all right its reason living by SCREEN mode (its the bsd opening for the 2nd season heh) 4. goddamn everything’s fuckign japanese a cover of tokyo summer session by the utaities amatsuki and 96neko 5. its in english this time thank god the weigh down by the amity affliction my music taste is all over the damn place 6. you only live once, the yoi ed lmao 7. nightmare by the amity affliction (again) 8. st. patrick by pvris 9. alone by (??) marshmello its not exactly.. 10. death of a strawberry by dance gavin dance i LOVE this one ok 11. heartache on the big screen by 5sos 12. dirty laundry by all time low gooD SHIT i sWEAR 13. oh no by bring me the horizon 14. under the stars by secret eyes i reALLY REALLY LIKE THIS ONE 15. welcome to war by aliens ate my setlist

taggingggg: nobody god this took me forever i loveed it regardless!!! thaknu flne time to SLEEP 

edit: it wouldnt fukcing post ytd so im posting it now and i do not have 2 sleep anymoe bc im awaek and kicking (lena’s beefy ass)

[nardaviel]

11 answers, 11 questions

i was tagged by erika but i didn’t see it until now *kicks tumblr* ;---; i love this meme i’m always happy to get tagged in it :D

cw for anti-yuri on ice sentiment

Rules: Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked, then write eleven new ones. Tag eleven people to answer your questions as well as the person who tagged you.

What would your transformation phrase be if you were a magical girl/boy? i would be like a madoka magical girl and have no transformation phrase, magic disguise, or different name. ......... i hope i wouldn’t be like a madoka magical girl in any other way tho

What celebrity do you share your birthday with? does ulysses s grant count? i didn’t recognize any of the names i found when i looked this up :C

What’s your phone background? my lock screen is atsushi smiling and adjusting his glasses at the end of his s2 transformation :D and my home screen is en with his eyes closed in his own s2 transformation. except i flipped it upside down so i could see his face under the app icons, and now that it’s upside down it reminds me of madoka AU. the expression looks like him, like he’s fallen into the water and is floating sadly down to the bottom bc he’s exhausted. so i’m always kind of sad when i see it... ("why haven’t you changed it then, libby?" because it’s pretty ok don’t judge me)

If you could make a show/video game/book series about anything (and you have a HUGE budget to do so) what would it be and why? i would live off that huge budget and spend all my time writing boueibu fanfiction :D but if it has to be something original. i have a fantasy OC who’s 3/4 human, 1/4 water elemental and a vague idea of his setting that i would love to develop and write about

What’s your MBTI type? inxp

What is to your right this instant? a water bottle, lens wipes, some books, and the endoroid

What instrument(s) do you play? my parents made me take piano when i was little :c but i also used to sing!! and i think i was pretty good for my age and experience level. but i stopped taking lessons around the same time i dropped out of school and i never picked them back up :\

Do you ever get a moment of déjà vu? sure, doesn’t everyone?

What’s a collection you have that you often forget about, but can never bring yourself to get rid of? my (mostly) knock-off death note nendos. i had to think for a second tho bc i had in fact forgotten about them

Your favorite show/movie has a crossover with the show/movie that makes you cringe the most. What are they, and what would it take for you to watch it? boueibu + yuri on ice, and nothing could convince me to watch it if it had just yoi characters. if the boueibu characters were there in a minor role, i would agree to watch it just because i love them, but i wouldn’t enjoy it. but if they were more important than the yoi characters, it might be fun, or! best of all! if it was like a boueibu ice skating sports anime AU!!! i would actually really love it

Do you ever get a moment of déjà vu? If you could rewrite the universe to change one small thing, what would it be and why? lmao i wouldn’t dare tbh but um assuming i knew there wouldnt be any disastrous unforeseen effects, i would change the fact that i cant impose my will on the world :D so then i could change whatever i wanted. this is absolutely a cheating answer though so an answer that doesn’t try to take advantage of loopholes would be: i would make green a more attractive color since i have to see it everywhere the second i step outside

questions:

what’s your favorite thing to do when you want to chill out and just enjoy yourself?

describe the most beautiful thing you can think of or imagine

what is your favorite combination of colors?

tell us about an AU that you desperately want to make but haven’t been able to, for whatever reason (can’t think of a plot, your faves don’t work well in the setting, w/e)

what does your phone case look like? did you go for style or sturdiness?

what is your ideal hairstyle for yourself?

what’s the first favorite song you can remember having?

what’s the grossest food anyone has ever tried to make you eat? (and did you eat it?)

would you rather never drink anything but water again, or never eat anything again besides the blandest, most boring necessities?

describe your dream home

i need u to come up with a brilliant, scathing insult that contains five words or less

i’m gonna tag @vashtijoy, @mystofthestars, @crazy-grrrl-on-the-computer, @makabekazuki, ... @deuterium51614 again (sry i didn’t @ you at the top when i said you tagged me, i wanted to do it here instead so you would be sure to see it), @kittyyuri, @serurianouji, @cupkayke, @lidoxia, @restinpeacesensei, aaaand @currymuttonpizza but pls feel free to ignore it

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Hii love!! How are you?? Hope you had a great time at yesterday's dinner. Yes, i still have a month of exams. And a lot of essays and assigments that i dont want to do. But hopefully i'll be free soon. Nop. I didnt see that. Which one was it? Crying in the club? I remember seeing that song in the track list at the beginning of the tour. But i havent seen anything else. (1)

Hi, love!! Finally I get to answer you. I’ll try to make it “short”, jajja, but I talk too much, so, no promises here, jajjaja.Yeah, we had a good time. We bought some pizzas 🍕 (lol, Honey 🍯 senses when I’m writing you, and he comes to lay on my 😌). I told them if they wanted to watch Dunkirk, they told me they rather no, jajajaj. But, well 🤷🏻‍♀️, their lost. A day more, is a day less. Soon you’ll be free, and will forget about the stress.Oh, I think it’s that song, yes. I didn’t knew he was covering it on his tour. He also sang a Sting one, too. 😩😩 I didn’t know it, what a fake fan 😅.

Yes. I think i started wearing them when i was 7. I’ve been wearing glasses for more than half of my life now. They are part of me and people dont recognise me without them. Kind of sad if you ask me. But it is what it is. Is the surgery that expensive? I havent even looked that up bcs getting surgery it’s just a dream at this moment, i dont need reality to discourage me (2)

Well, if it’s of some relief, I’ve wearing them for almost three years, only, and even my family see something weird in my face when I don’t have them on, so 🤷🏻‍♀️. Well, when my mom look it up, it was around 3000€. But I think my friend told me last year that it was around 1800€, I think. So, yes, it’s very expensive, but all the people I know who have had it are very happy with it.

Yes. I know. I get that it’s easier to give them the ipad and all of that, but i dont think that’s really good for them mainly bcs they dont get the attention they need. But well, parenting is something very personal, and technology also has its perks. Maybe nowadays kids learn in a different way, but it’s still learning. I guess it’s the same as when Game Boy and so came out. That was supposed to “pervert” us all, but i think we ended up being just fine. Mostly. (3)

Oh, yeah, well used, technology is the best. But sometimes parents just give their children their phones so they don’t bother them, and that’s not good for kids. Like when they’re waiting at the doctor. I actually hear a psychologist saying that that teaches kids that to be relaxed they need a phone. And it’s a way to conditioning them. Like when a dog does something well and you give it a treat. And then the dog does that thing, so you have to give it another treat. But, yes, like you said, parenting is something very personal, and I think it parents reflects what they had/hadn’t from their parents on their kids.

Ohh! I havent thought about that. Yes yes. I hope they are not recognisable then. Do you know if there'a any project for Nialls show? Like the rainbow flag they did for Fire Away in Amsterdam (was it Amsterdam?). I havent heard about one. JAJAJAJAJA. Of course buying a bigger house is the easy option. Of course😂. I’d take a pic of the door, but then i dont know how i would send it?? An anti or a het? Please no. Never. I have eyes and i know how to use them. And so does she (4)

Oh, I haven’t looked for projects yet. I always remember to look it up when I’m driving, bc is when I’m hearing Niall’s album, lol, but then I get home or work and I forget 🙄. I’ll look it up, and let you know. I’ve thought on bringing those big balloons that have a cord at one end? (I’ll try to find a pic, so you see them) and throw them to the crowd at some point and people can play hitting them, you know (we did that at my sister wedding and we had a lot of fun, I think here it would be funnier). But I’ll see. I’m very shy, so, even if I bring them, I’ll probably keep them in my bag, lmao.I think you can submit pics on anon. Just log off, search my blog, and submit it. You have to put an email, that can be anónimo@anonimo.com, jajja.

Your dad also knows their names? My parents barely know that One Direction exist. They only remember it as the opposite to good music. “This is music, not like that direction you like"😤😒 Jajajajajaja. Dont be so hard on you all. I’m sure there will be a lot of people of your age. You are not old!! (Yes, they are young babies. But mostly, they are lucky babies. Only 16 and already living their best life). (5)

Well, it would be too hard for my family to not know them, lol. All the people that has any contact with me, knows that I like them, lmao. My dad doesn’t like English music in general, so he isn’t a big fan (of me, listening their music 24/7, oops). Well, I’ll let you know after the concert, jajajajaj, of how much old people I see. The good thing is that it’s a small crowd, so less people judging 😅. And yes, they’re very lucky!! but if they can, good for them. I got to see Andy&Lucas when I was 16, 🤣🤣🤣🤣, almost the same, jajaja.

Only two weeks!! It’s around the corner!!! 😱😱😱😱😱 Yes. I should have bought a ticket for myself. But i’m not that sad. I’ll go another time. And also, the timing of the concert id disastrous because i start exams that week and going there + the show would mean 2 days less to study. And less time to study = more stress and crying. I’ve resigned myself to the idea. Next time. (6)

Yeah, I always look for the good point on everything too,jajaja. Also, that you have to see them next time they come, is the perfect excuse for them to come back again,jajajajaj. But you’re right. And it’s not just those two days you wouldn’t study. It’s the week before and after, thinking about the concert and getting distracted. Thinks come the way they do for a reason. So just think that studios are first. 🤷🏻‍♀️.

He tried to catch a duck? 😂😂😂 Nooo. Videos for cats? What are those? I know about cats’ videos (i love them. They are so cute), but not about videos for cats. What do they show? Oh, dont worry!! Notifications dont bother me. They dont make any sound. They are just there. And i only get one, no matter how many posts you reblog. (7)

Yes!! Cats are so funny. I laugh so much with them. If you search on YouTube “videos para Gatos” you’ll a lot, jajajaja. They’re just a cartoon mouse running and hiding, and cats try to catch it. Boring for humans, funny for cats.Ah, that’s good then,jajaja, because I was afraid you’d get 1837453 notfs, jajajaja.

Aaaargh. I’m trying to think something because I dont want to give you my name. It’s nothing personal. I swear. I’m just a very private person. That’s why i dont have SM and that stuff. But also, i cant think of a nickname bcs i dont have many, and i think my sister follows your blog and if she sees it there, that would be strange😂🤷. I dont knooow. I know names are not a big deal, but. I’m just shy. I’ll think about something and then i’ll tell, if you dont mind. (8)

WHAT??? Your sister follows me?? Oh my god!! This is so weird!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣I hope she isn’t reading this then, so you don’t get discovered. Now more than ever I have to try to put everything under the cut,jajajajja. Don’t worry about the name, that’s why I didn’t want to ask you. I was thinking something like flower anon (I don’t know why I call you flower i my head,jajja), or something like that. Or just smiley anon. I didn’t mean your actual name, of course. I’m very shy like that too (I know, hard to believe), and  I always talk on anon to people. Don’t worry. Ah!! And don’t worry about thinking a name at all. If you’re comfortable with the notifications, keep with it. I just thought that if you were searching in my blog that tag anon, it would be easier for you to have your own tag, with your own things,jejejeje. But whatever you think is better, seriously.

8 months? So young!! She just discovered her hands?😂 Glasses are the first target, but i bet she’s going to go after your hair next. All did was laugh? I would have cried for sure. Omg you are brave! I love kids, but i wouldnt have known what to do. “Well, if you could tell me what is a girl/boy toy” 📢 📢📢📢 Say it louder Soraya!! I love saying remarks like that. Some people get so angry and i’m like ???? Chill and think about what i just said pls, it’s all true.(9)

Aaaawwwww, I was with her today too, she’s so cuteeeee. And yes, she goes for my hair too, but that’s my fault, really, because I tickle her with it, so she just plays with it. And I was with my cousin yesterday too!!! You’d have to see him. He has a “problem” in his brain, so he doesn’t develop normally. Doctors even thought he had autism (I don’t know the correct way to say it in English, bc I think they use a different verb, but you get it) for some time, because he behaved like that. Anyway, he has photographic memory, and also when he learns something, he doesn’t forget (he’s just 4). Well, yesterday, he just taught me in English the weeks days, months of the year, numbers till 20 and the weather. All of that singing it and pointing to his black board (the tv) like he was a teacher. He’s just amazing. He has learn how to read some words all on his own… and he can recognize written words since he was 2. He learn my car plaque before than me… I love him so much. ☺️. (Did I have a point with this story???? I just love to talk about him, sorry, jajaja)Hey, look, I do t usually say good things about me, but I’ll say one. I think I’m good on how I treat people at work. Like I know how to read them, and if I can joke with them or not. And I talk a lot with people, even if I don’t know them,jajaja. Well, when someone says something like that (a toy for a girl; can you make a candy cake, but it’s for a boy so nothing pink, please…) soy la persona más seca que te puedas imaginar 😒 (I don’t know how to say that in English). Like, no, lol, what will it do to him to it something pink? It’s just mean it taste like strawberry 🙄🙄🙄. I can’t I can’t.

Today i did a survey for a friend who is studying to be a teacher, and it was… wrong The aim of the survey was good, but the ways… the first question was “¿Q opinas al respecto de que existan orientaciones sexuales distintas a la heterosexual?” & also “¿como d normal t resulta q un niño juegue con muñecas?”. That’s wrongly put. Like, u are not asking what people thinks about sexuality. U are assuming that hetero is cool, and then u are asking about the nonhetero ones. And that annoyed me. 10

Yeah, that way of asking is wrong. Even more because is a written question, so you can’t catalogue the way the person asked is answering. But I sometimes ask question the wrong way so people shows they true colors, y'know? Like I ask in a way that it looks like I’m thinking the wrong way (gay things are wrong) and when they answer as if I were right… bye. But, again, that can be done in s face to face conversations. That survey was wrong yes, because they didn’t ask how you see that a boy play with a gun (which is worst that playing with a doll or a kitchenette…). But also, who wrote that survey? Your friend? Did you tell them what you thought about the way it was written? Did they listen to you??

Well, I reached the end!! Jajajja, I had to put my iPad to charge. Why do I talk so much??? We have this joke at the shop, with a woman (she’s also my sister neighbor), and she talks a lot A LOT!! So much, that my sister sometimes has to close the shop and walk with her to their flats… jajajaa. Well, I always say: ja! yo la doy conversación. Cuando se cansa de hablar, la saco otro tema!! That’s how much I talk,🤣🤣🤣🤣. I think is because I spend so much time alone at home, without opening my mouth (only to talk to my cats), that when I start talking with someone, I don’t know how to stop,jajajja. But I’ll stop… NOW! Bye!! 😚😚