#i had to look up english lyrics for that song... ; u ;

[k-zuzulibrary]

홍중 k.HJ

kim hongjoong 𖹭 fem idol!reader

DESTINY.

synopsis: idol!reader is very open about her love for ateez kim hongjoong, scandal breaks, they end up together. (feat. bang chan of skz being wise.)

content: eventual smut mdni, cringe/crack, angst if u squint, strangers2friends2lovers, reader uses she/her pronouns, slow burn?, this is shit, choppy storyline lots of time skips and anticlimactic, fluffy?, lots of use of the pet name 'baby', cuddling, big sexy hongjoong, swearing, not proofread, lowercase intended. explicit warnings: in the studio couch, handjob, p in v, no prep, vanilla, unprotected, creampie, sub/dom undertones?, virgin/inexperienced reader

guide: italics in dialogues are used when they speak in korean. chat fonted dialogues are comments and exchanged texts. long blocks of dialogues are used during lives because they're not really doing anything apart from speaking!

zuzu's note: main masterlist. the girl in the picture is just a reference/icon to get the overall vibe of the "idol aesthetic." also, because it's difficult to make things neutral, i created your group and fandom's name, and also put in a groupmate's name in as placeholders because it's difficult to write without mentioning them lol.

you spent two years honing your skills as a trainee at a modest, struggling company before rising to fame as the leader of your own group, DESTINY. your impressive duality on stage, seamlessly transitioning from intense, commanding dance moves and mature raps to the charming, feminine aegyo concept, quickly won over fans. your first award was hard-earned for your sultry debut song titled "Sit." (in which you would subtly imply that you want to sit on someone's face).

you, in particular, gained a significant international following because of your hilarious bedroom lives where you would often deliver sassy comebacks to fans, showcase your impressive english language skills, and share random chatter that fans couldn't help but love. Initially, you became known for your goofy on-screen personality. however, as your talents and stage presence shone through, it was no surprise that people fell for you.

DESTINY has cemented their status as THE 5th generation girl group, making waves in the music industry. numerous renowned idols you adored in the past (one of which, was Kim Hongjoong) have taken notice of your group's bold lyrics and praised your distinctive style and captivating concept.

one day, you decide to hop onto instagram to go live and have a casual chat with your dedicated fans, also known as fates, during a brief pause from rehearsing the dance routine for your upcoming comeback album titled "idgaf." despite having beads of sweat clinging to your forehead and being slightly winded from the dance, you maintain a casual conversation with your viewers;

"so, a few days ago i was on my phone and i was watching these uh, these compilations of other idols talking about me—" you pause to catch your breath and slightly chuckle at how ridiculous you sound. "someone made one of those cute videos on youtube." you repeat in korean. "my favorite part was when they showed ateez reaction to me casually rapping that one part in WORK during one of my lives..." you took a deep inhale and looked away as you thought about it some more. "hongjoong-sunbaenim was sooo, aaaagh! he was— i mean, okay, so, don't like, make a big deal out of this, but i had a hugeeee crush on him for so long, so long, like, before i debuted, i swear, his charizzma is unmatched!!! aaaaaGH, he COMPLIMENTED MY RAPPING IN THE VIDEO! and then i began to wonder if, like, was my rapping even good? damn, i could've done better if i knew hongjoong-sunbaenim would watch it. he was also, actually my inspiration as a leader and a producer..."

you continued chattering on, unaware that your manager would soon reprimand you for discussing that particular topic, citing potential negative consequences. however, it wasn't a major issue, since your fans actually valued your candidness. sure, there were a few hateful remarks scattered among the positive comments, but many responded positively, with remarks such as:

"help she's so real 😭"

"waaah, wishing i was hongjoon rn"

"she can't have hongjoong! he is dating atiny" — "she is atiny tho?" someone replied.

"totally ship them" and it was all enough to make your day.

it's not too long before you come across a reel on instagram that many fans tagged you in; hongjoong reacting to a clip of you simping over him on your livestream. your heartbeat picked up its pace and you sat up properly, raising the volume on your phone as you mentally prepared yourself for the video.

"yahh, i already saw this." he says and you pause the video. fuck. you play it again. "honestly, i thought it was a bit cute." you blush and kick your feet until he speaks again. "it's rare to see junior idols showcasing their admiration for their seniors, but it's really nice, i really like it... especially when they admire me," he shows a heart to the camera. "y/n, if you're watching this, please continue to show your love and support to ateez!"

you were a little disappointed because he seemed to spin it off that you were just a supportive junior/atiny, but you decided to brush it off.

weeks pass and the topic dies down until a photo of you and hongjoong chatting while he signed your album at their fansign event was spreading around the internet and rumors began — you didn't think it would be hidden since it was a public event, but you also didn't think that it would be a scandal. it's your first time being able to chat with hongjoong at all and the dating rumors are just ridiculous. your manager gives you the go signal and you decide to address the rumors by going live in your iconic bed, the lights are dim and you're bare faced, wearing glasses —

"helllooo..." you adjusted the camera at the foot of the bed and you laid on your stomach in front of it. "yesterday... i met kim hongjoong-sunbaenim of ateez..." you paused as you thought about what to say next — you didn't want a script, you wanted to stay yourself: authentic and genuine.

"and today, i was very disappointed because many fates say that we are dating and expressed their hatred for the idea... i would like to point out that i only admire him now as my senior and inspiration for being an idol! i would like to address that, honestly, the dating rumors are a bit ridiculous just because i said i had a crush. it was my first time meeting hongjoong-sunbaenim," your tone was a bit defensive and pouty, you paused as you fiddled with your earring and stared at the camera, snivveling.

"it was my very first time meeting him, it was awkward. more awkward than if he was with a regular fan, maybe because i am an idol and i expressed my admiration for him very publicly, but he was very kind and considerate about it. he really expressed his appreciation for me as his junior and atiny and that was the extent of our interaction. i hope you guys don't spread rumors like this again even if it's true, it would be private business and you shouldn't gossip about someone's love life like this. if you guys like it so much, i suggest you guys focus on your own." you make a light joke of the situation, slightly hoping you don't get hate for that as well. soon after that live, you posted a selfie you took with hongjoong at the fansign event with the caption "forever atiny! 🫶" and you decided to stop and stray away from the whole hongjoong topic because you didn't want to cause him any more trouble.

luckily, after that, many fates decided to come forward and be more open as they showed a lot of support for you and hongjoong.

"this is ridiculous! she shouldn't have to address those dumb rumors, please respect them! they are idols, your baseless rumors could ruin their career."

"i feel so bad for her and hongjoong. i love their innocent chemistry and i believe they should interact more often! male and female idols should be able to interact without being "accused" of dating. like she said, even if they are, it is none of our business! so sad that she'll probably have avoid him after this. so disappointed in whoever made the rumors."

months later, your group and ateez both were in Chicago, USA for your comeback world tour at the same time and while you were there, you decided to attend their concert and you screamed at the top of your lungs and went along every fan chant like a pro, you were far away from the stage so there were no hopes of being noticed — since it was convenient, your managers decided that your group and ateez should collaborate on dances of your comeback title songs, and naturally, you and hongjoong were paired together by your managers in hopes of using this dance as a warning for fans not to mess with the two of you. much to your convenience, the title track of your comeback album is "idgaf."

"hongjoong-sunbaenim!" you slightly jogged over to him and the staff and group members and bowed as deep as you could, your manager and fellow DESTINY members following close by.

"there's no need for that," hongjoong waves you off as you came back up and you chuckle slightly as you awkwardly look around the silent room — you often gossiped with your members about how you'd 'let hongjoong do things to you' among other questionable remarks, and right now you silently hope they wouldn't say a word about it. "i already learned the dance earlier, it's really good! i heard you choreographed it? " hongjoong attempts at small talk and you nod politely in response, holding your hands together, noticing the ateez members behind him glancing at you guys, whispering, and chuckling.

"yes, it took me a month to perfect the choreography before i taught my members." you explain, but before hongjoong could continue, one of the staff unknowingly interrupts your chat.

"okayyy, let's get started! in your positions, please."

you guys complete the dance on the second take, and once it was posted, the fans absolutely adore your chemistry (just as you did) they fawn over the idea of you and hongjoong together (just as you did).

after the posting of the dance, you have a casual live featuring your group mate, nina, who also spoke english. the theme; "doing face masks in my bed and eating ramen." during that very live, you receive a notification while your friend talks to the viewers. you picked you your phone to check what it was, your heart almost literally stopped.

kim hongjoong...

was...

following you back on instagram.

your eyes almost popped out of your head and you let out a really long high pitched screech.

"what? " nina looks at you, befuddled but laughing at your odd reaction. after a few seconds you still don't respond to her as you kick your feet. "ya, what is it? " she attempts once again and lean over your shoulder to check your phone but you slam it down on the bed. you slowly turn to her, trying and failing to contain your smile as you whisper so the audience couldn't hear.

"hongjoong-sunbaenim is following me on instagram..."

her eyes widen and she smiles. "are you sure?" she asked in a high pitched voice and you nodded frantically, showing her your phone. her smile widens and the two of you couldn't hold it in anymore — you both begin squealing and grabbing each others hands live and the fate's comments kept coming in.

"what are you two talking abouttt???"

"i didn't hear what she said!"

fans would soon understand what you were screeching about and this time, instead of dating rumors, it was "feeling" rumors. fans would gossip and speculate about how you two obviously had feelings for each other, other speculations include your "random chemistry" with hongjoong to be a marketing strategy — to always put you two together to gather more attention, likes, and fan reactions.

what they don't know is that they are correct on both accounts; because you and hongjoong so obviously had feelings each other the staff would always put you together.

the tipping point.

hongjoong posted a picture on his story of a ticket purchase to your world tour comeback concert.

the concert is coming to an end.

DESTINY is singing the encore, which is also your last chance; ever since hongjoong posted that on his story you made a plan. but you told everyone that it was in the heat of the moment when you did it. that's what you told yourself — the adrenaline, your sore muscles, your vocal cords beginning to strain, the screams of fate, the sound of your heartbeat, the thought of hongjoong. your lines in the song were coming close — before the beat drops, you skip toward the center and you raise your hand, microphone close to your mouth, you screamed.

"HONGJOONG-SUNBAENIM!" you scream out, your voice echoing through the arena. "this one's for you!" the fate fans erupt into a frenzy of deafening screams and cheers. the stunned expressions of the DESTINY members are captured on the iphone cameras held by fans. "FATE! let me hear you FUCKING SCREAM YOUR HEARTS OUT!" you shout, launching into the chorus of the song. as the beat drops and the intensity kicks in, everything around you becomes a hazy blur, and for a moment, your mind goes blissfully blank.

as the concert reaches its finale, the members of DESTINY retreat backstage to catch their breath and decompress. you immediately seek refuge in the nearest chair, plopping down and exhaling a loud, tired sigh.

"ya, y/n, what were you thinking?" nina sits on the chair next to you. "we don't know what could happen now."

that was the worst possible feeling to have as an idol. the anxiety of what comes next.

...it reminded you of the time mingi swore to jongho on a live.

"it's not that big of a deal," you say as you chug and finish an entire bottle of water. "it's to feed fate's hunger..."

"yaaah, how you think hongjoong-sunbaenim would react? " she ponders and you shrug, choosing not to think about it. despite your nonchalant demeanor, you completely regret it. 'how would everyone react?' sure, you constantly openly express your admiration for him everywhere else, but onstage was something else, 'what happened to professionalism?' you sigh and put your hand on your forehead. you're going to get in a lot of trouble with your manager now.

that nonsense yet iconic line would get you the title of the "most ballsy k-pop leader of the 5th generation " which is also the headline of the hit article that would later accuse you of being "too forward" with your "poor attempt" at bringing modern media and standards to korean culture and k-pop. back then, your line at the concert would not be acceptable, but now there are so many of your fans — your fates defending you, supporting you, and fighting all of the haters and closed fates who openly express their distaste and negativity for your unprofessional behaviour. you still believe that you deserve at least half of it.

it's no surprise that hongjoong doesn't share or post any public reaction to your iconic line of 2024, unlike you, an immature newer idol, he has been in the entertainment industry longer and is an expert on how to maintain professionalism, especially when it comes to dating scandals. agh, he probably lost his respect for you after that moment.

another few weeks pass. to your surprise, even after your unprofessional behaviour, DESTINY was invited to an award show, and during one of the performances, nature called, so you got up to head to the bathroom. in one of the hallways, the smallest of small chances and the most cliche of cliches happened. you and hongjoong stood in front of each other at the hallway that led to the bathrooms, you bow deeply and greet him softly, a bit embarrased you hunch in shame. "hello..."

"y/n-ah! " he's surprisingly relaxed, he raises a hand forward and you awkwardly double check it before high fiving him and he puts it back in his pocket. "how are you? i've actually been a bit of a fate myself these past few weeks and that thing you said at the concert wasss, wow."

'okay, so he addressed the elephant in the room just like that. was it even the elephant for him? it seemed like a koala, or... a chipmunk or something.' goes through your mind. you awkwardly chuckle and push your hair away from your face. "yeah... i'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable, i've regretted it ever since—"

"no! you don't have to be. it was cool. really cool. i liked it." he says. his cute, reassuring smile remains and you can't help but smile back.

"really?" you ask, you don't how pathetic you sound asking it but hongjoong liked how it came out of your mouth — your personality now is so soft-spoken and different from the "ballsy 5th gen leader" the internet made you out to be, he adored the duality. "i was actually super nervous, i was afraid you would think i ruined the face of my group or something and unfollow me on instagram..." you ramble nervously.

"ya, i would never! " he said and took his phone out. "i am a certified fate from here on out, you and are- are the fate-inies." he handed you his phone. "i was actually wondering if we can exchange contacts?" you look at him, shocked painted across your face.

"really???" you ask and don't hesitate to grab his phone. "of course!" you try your best not to sound too eager but of course, you fail. hongjoong laughs at your innocent reaction and you return his phone. he smiles, satisfied, and lifts it up and shaking the screen in front of you.

"i'll text you," he says casually. "will you reply?" you nod, trying to contain your smile because you don't wanna scare him away.

"of course! why else would i give you my number?" he makes way for you in the small hallway and mumbles a farewell as he waves his hand and he begins to walk away, you turn and watch him until he's out of sight before you run to the bathroom, slam the door behind you and scream your lungs out in the mirror. you totally lost the urge to pee and you return to your groupmates immediately after, already gossiping about what went down. later that night, DESTINY wins an award, you celebrate, and head back to your dorm, wash up and fall on your bed where you would receive a text from hongjoong.

hongjoong: "yo! congratulations on your win! i was very happy when DESTINY was announced and saw you onstage ㅋㅋㅋㅋ."

you bite your nail, thinking of your response.

you: "hi! tysm! congratulations on your award as well. it's expected of ateez-sunbaenim, i already see it coming ㅋㅋㅋ"

hongjoong: "ah, don't be like that. it's hard to live up to expectations"

you chuckle at his response. his typing style was different than you expected. you got ready to type out another response until he messaged again.

hongjoong: "btw, when r u available? we should celebrate our win together. as leaders."

your heart skips a beat... or two. is he asking you out?

you: "how about tomorrow night?"

hongjoong: "oh, no can do. ateez celebration party tomorrow with a few close friends."

you sigh and you're about to put your phone down for the night when you reel another vibration.

hongjoong: "unless u wanna come? ur more than welcome"

you: "idk, it might not be the best choice. will there be other female idols there?"

hongjoong: "uhh, ur being kinda dubious. do you want there to be female idols?"

you: "yes pls"

hongjoong: "then there will be female idols there. why? are you going to choose them over me?"

you: "ㅋㅋㅋㅋ only if the entirety of blackpink are there."

hongjoong: "it might seem crazy what i'm 'bout to say..."

hongjoong: "sorry but lisa was all we could book 4 the night"

you: "U FR?!"

hongjoong: "no"

hongjoong: "ateez is not made of gold. lisa-sunbaenim is also busy with more important matters"

hongjoong: "ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ"

hongjoong: "...are you still coming?"

hongjoong: "..."

hongjoong: "y/n?"

you: "yes! it sounds great"

hongjoong: "great. i'll send u the details, see u there ;)"

...is that a fucking winky face? you swear this man is the bane of your existence.

you go to the party alone — and surprisingly, it isn't the small gathering you expected, there were so many recognizable faces, not just of idols, but actors. the venue is a large vip lounge of an underground club in the city. the interior was obnoxious and practically made of gold —you look around and see choi san leaning on a wall, alone. he's a familiar face that you're comfortable talking with. you make eye contact across the room and you walk your way toward him confidently. "hello, sunbaenim!! congratulations on your win~" you give him a soft smile and he smiles back, taking a sip from the glass in his hand — is that brandy? you watch as he silently puts the cup down on the table next to him without so much as a thanks to your greeting, he puts his hands on each of your cheeks, and you wonder if his drunk until you're flustered as he forcibly turns your head 90° to the right.

"hyung is over there."

you easily recognize your hongjoong.

he is chatting with who you recognize to be bang chan of stray kids but your eyes just lock in on him — everyone else around is suddenly blurred and he's the only one you see. you focus on the way his lips move as he speaks, the way he softly nods — this is him when he thinks you're not watching and it's so damn hot, him being himself. the mere fact that he breathes is hot. damn, you're so in love. san chuckles at how you already forgot he was next to you, he conks you in the head and walks away.

you walk toward hongjoong and excuse yourself to their conversation. "y/n!" he says enthusiastically and places a hand around your shoulders. "bang chan, i'm sure your familiar," hongjoong says casually and he makes eye contact with someone in the room — getting distracted, he walks away. of course, it's his group's celebratoon party, you weren't the only guest he would tend to. you awkwardly look up at bang chan and wave.

"hi, sunbaenim! i really love maniac and superbowl, amazing songs!" you give him two thumbs ups and he giggles bashedly, almost blushing — you knew bangchan to alwayd be a flustered mess, he never knew how to react to compliments. "also, i subscribed to your bubble once, wowwww." you tried to make small talk and he laughed once more.

"yeahhh, i can get pretty crazy there. you know, i would also watch your lives sometimes, you're funny!" he says, and you smile.

"you really think so? aaah, i know i have a lot of cringe moments, especially when i first revealed my crush on hongjoong."

"oh yeah, no, it wasn't cringe at all! everybody in the industry already saw your chemistry from before you mentioned it. i totally support you guys haha." he speaks casually and your eyes widen.

"wh-what? support our what? what do we have? what chemistry?" you ramble and bang chan chuckles.

"relax, relax — it's nothing, just, we see your flirting here and there and you two would be so cute together. but, if you want my advise, i wouldn't recommend going public with it, honestly. DESTINY— it's DESTINY, right? you guys just debuted, i don't think having a public relationship with an idol older than you is the right career choice this early on." he says and you nod along, you totally understood where he was coming from but when you stayed silent too long for comfort, bangchan tilted his head. "hey? did i say something wrong?"

you snapped your attention back at him. "hm? yeah, i mean NO! i completely understand what you said and i agree. plus, there's nothinggg between me and hongjoong, we're just... i don't know we're, okay, so there might be a little bit of a thing, but it'll take a long time until it actually becomes something~" you giggle and bangchan giggles as well and the two of you are just a giggling mess and hongjoong comes back to join your group.

"hey, what's all the giggling about?" he moves his head to look at you, then bang chan, then you, then bang chan — "isn't this your first time being acquainted? why are you two having so much fun without me? " then bangchan just smiles, then looks at you, then hongjoong, then you, then hongjoong.

"i'll get going nowww~" he says in a goofy tone and walks away.

"what's with him?" hongjoong mutters and looks at you. "have you eaten? eat! there's plenty of appetizers and foods around—"

"hongjoong-sunbaenim," you interrupt him. "ah, no... hongjoong-oppa." you look up at him, and he stares at you, expression blank but clearly flustered at the new title he got from you. "what are we?" you decide to live up to your title as the most ballsy kpop leader of the 5th generation and he chokes on air, eyebrows raising and eyes blinking repeatedly as he processes what you said.

"um," hongjoong looks around the room nervously, maybe concerned if anyone overheard what you just said. "i... like- hm? huh? i-" he can barely get a word out and you tilt your head, maybe you shouldn't have been to forward, it was wayyy too soon.

"sorry, you don't have to answer." you say calmly and he lets out a very obvious sigh of relief and you chuckle.

"felt like i was trying to defuse a time bomb." he laughs, holding a hand over his chest and you smile as not to ruin the mood, but your next question would do just that for you.

"but... be honest, this is more than a friendship, right? " you can see his smile falter ever so slightly and the silent pause is way too long for comfort. maybe you shouldn't have asked.

"...we'll see where it goes, yeah? " hongjoong smiles. you nod in understanding and he pets your head ever-so-softly as not to ruin your hair. "let's go, let's enjoy the party."

later that night, he takes you to your dorm in the same car he is being driven home in — he waves goodbye and you bow politely. "i'll text you!" hongjoong says, loud enough for you to hear. the car drives off in the distance and you smile and wave. "i'll reply!" you yell back.

your relationship lasted in the talking stage for a few months. rumors were nonexistent because you and hongjoong didn't have to express your attraction to each other through lives and posts and stories anymore, fans assumed it was because the staff felt the tension between you two died down and stopped using it for clout, little did they know that it all began hiding behind closed doors through hundreds of flirty texts and phone calls, cute selcas, handmade gifts, ordering food for each other, occasional video calls, and personal dates throughout your busy schedule. you were practically dating now but you and hongjoong never had a label.

"so, what are you guys? " wooyoung would ask.

hongjoong takes a moment to answer as he scrolls through his laptop. "...we're in a situationship."

"aren't you a little too old to be afraid of commitment?"

"ya, bastard—"

it wouldn't take too long for your "situationship" to spread among other idols and since everyone else was pretty closed off or "careful" it was the gossip of the industry.

about 6 months into whatever you and hongjoong had; you two were alone together in the living room of his dorm, everyone else was out and about, busy tending to their own lives leaving you two were finally alone together. one of the few moments you treasured. you laid comfortably into his chest as you both focused on wonka (timothee ver.) playing on the flat screen tv. hongjoong subconsciously pets your hair every now and then and you nuzzled deeper into his chest but there was a lingering thought in your head that you have been meaning to ask.

"hongjoong-oppa..." you mumble. hongjoong humms in response — you feel the vibration of his voice against your ear that rests just above his chest. you shuffled to look at him, he glances at you, seeing that you're a bit serious, he pauses the movie and he sits up a bit. "...is it still to early to ask what we are?"

hongjoong's expression doesn't change. it makes it hard for you to read him and how he feels about the question you have been too scared to ask these past few weeks. hongjoong doesn't respond however, just looking at you with clueless eyes. you sigh, expressing your disappointment and gently push him back into his position on the couch and laid back on top of him.

"nevermind." you murmur. you don't wanna force him into rushing the relationship or do anything he's uncomfortable with, but you don't want to wait too long either. shouldn't the two of you always be on the same page? you sigh again the more you thought about it, but your thoughts were interrupted as soon as hongjoong pushed you back up into your position.

"no," he simply said. "it's not too soon. in fact, it's a little late." he began and you started listening to him, pout evident on your face. hongjoong takes a deep breath. "the truth is, i have been thinking about this topic... me and some of the members would talk about it, and they kept telling me to "put a label on it," but my response was always that i was too scared." you looked at him, brows furrowed. "i really like you, y/n. it scares me." he whispers.

"...you don't... have to be scared." you say softly.

"i know, i know—" he rubs his forehead and he lets out a deep sigh. "but a label makes it so official, y'know...? "

"i know, oppa, but if our relationship, is not going anywhere then we might as well stop now." you can feel the anger in you bubbling up. "i don't date around, you know. you said yourself that you wanted to see where this would go, it's been months and after everything we've done together, i still can't believe we're not even called boyfriend and girlfriend," you pause to take a breath and calm yourself down. "i don't want to force you anything, but i just, i can't help but think that you don't want to continue this but you're too afraid to tell me. i don't want to wake up tomorrow and you change your mind and decide that you don't want me anymore, i need to propose an ultimatum." you pause, licking your lips nervously. "if you don't want to be my boyfriend now then maybe you shouldn't be my boyfriend at all."

you rambled on like you usually do, but hongjoong doesn't want to interrupt you, he never wanted to, he loves listening to you talk, but hearing the words that came out of your mouth upset him.

"...y/n, don't get me wrong," he began. "i want to be your boyfriend and i want you to be my girlfriend, i want a label, but you have to understand that it's hard for me..." he explained calmly, voice soft.

his words don't change how you feel, and you frown. "then why? what are you waiting for—? " your words are interrupted when you feel his lips smash into yours in a soft and wet kiss, it's almost aggressive but eventually, it melts into a tender, passionate connection before pulling away. you look at hongjoong, a little dazed but befuddled. that was the last thing you expected but somehow it calmed your nerves, unlike his words. you look away from him as a blush creeps into your face — that was your first ever kiss with him. "why'd you do that..? "

"because, y/n," hongjoong softly squishes your cheeks and guides you to look into his eyes. "you're beautiful. not just physically — your personality is beautiful, your passion is beautiful... you're a wonderful person and i am very lucky to have you." you're glad that you're looking at him because you can see the sincerity in his eyes. "...and i love how much you care and i- i know that i am ready to have a label, it's just that i told you... i'm scared... but, i guess, we don't always jump into things prepared..." he says and your expression softens. you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him just a little bit closer. "y/n... can i be your boyfriend?" he asks softly.

"of course. what's wrong with you?" you playfully hit his chest and pull him into another short kiss. "i literally had a breakdown about the fact that you didn't wanna be my boyfriend and you're still asking me if i want you to be my boyfriend?" you laugh, hongjoong leans in, another small kiss.

"ya, don't tease me." he mumbles against your lips and you smile mischievously.

"or what~?" you ask, suggestively tilting your head as you look into his gorgeous eyes. hongjoong simply chuckles at your boldness and pecks your cheek, pulling you in for a proper hug and he whispers in your ear.

"don't push it," you were shocked at how deep his voice became. "i might not be able to contain myself..." he says casually and lays back down as if he didn't just leave you wet. "...right, let's continue the movie." he grabs the remote from the table and unpauses it. you just sit there, high and dry.

it's been a year since you and hongjoong have been together, fans are still unaware but catch on to random hints and slip-ups here and there but usually they are too far fetched to be considered a "soft launch" (like you accidentally calling hongjoong "oppa" on a livestream), and only ateez and DESTINY know that your relationship is official official (even your managers don't know, which made it super difficult to go on dates.)

their reactions include but are not limited to:

"finally. you two were beginning to be insufferable..." — DESTINY

"NO WAYYY!?!? THAT'S SO GREAT!!!" — Ateez

"oppaaa!" you yell loudly as you enter the dance studio hongjoong and a few of his members were practicing in. it was late at night and not many people were in the building at the time, you ran over to him and jumped in his arms.

"hi, baby! what are you doing here so late?" he kisses your cheek as he carries you by your thighs against him and you look into his eyes.

"why? can't i see my baby while he's working? " your arms are wrapped around his neck and you kiss his nose, he smiles and scrunches his nose, nuzzling it into yours like a rabbit.

"ahh, come on, you know you're my baby!" he says in a sweet aegyo voice and you giggle. he puts you down and seonghwa walks by.

"come on guys, seriously, i think i might barf..."

"i know, 'oppa, you're my baby, not just that — i want your babies~'" san decides to join in and mock you two with a skit and feigning a high pitched voice. pretending to be you and that seonghwa was hongjoong, playfully hitting his chest.

"ya, stop that, you weirdo—" seonghwa chuckles and hits san back.

you both ignore them, already used to their antics. you hold hongjoong's hands, looking into his eyes. "oppa, wanna go get a snack?"

"totally! let's go." he lets go of your left hand and holds on to your right as he leads you out the dancing studio and into the corridor. "so, where are we going?"

"what? why would i know? i thought you knew." you say, dumbfounded.

"why should i know? you're the one who suggested that we go out for a snack!" he exclaims.

"okay, okay! sooo... let's just go back to the dancing studio? " you turn around and hongjoong pauses, his smile remains the same.

"...actually, i have something else in mind." his voice is soft yet deep — you tilt your head in curiosity as he leads you to the end of the corridor and to the elevators, clicking the down button.

"...soo, are you going to tell me or..?"

"let's hang out in my studio."

this was undeniably the smartest idea Hongjoong had come up with since the beginning of your relationship (considering your surprise). it was incredibly rare for the two of you to get some precious alone time together, so you vowed to savor every single moment. laying on the couch in your favorite position (with you comfortably sprawled on top of him), a soothing silence enveloped the room, where the sound of your synchronized breathing patterns filled the air.

"'joong," you mumble, almost falling asleep, eyes closed. you shift on top of him and feel something rather peculiar down there. your eyes shot wide open. "'joong?!" you playfully hit his chest and sit up. "ya, i thought we were just chilling!"

"sorry! sorry- i couldn't help it, you were positioned so-" he pauses, staring at you as you urged him to continue with a smile and furrowed brows. "nevermind, nevermind, lay back down. it's chill, i promise."

"no," you suddenly say.

"no???" hongjoong questions. "wh- what do you mean?" he tries to laugh it off.

"i mean no, you said it was my fault. i have to help you," you innocently said and slid off of him, going on your knees on the floor.

"woah, woah, woah, wait- no, y/n, i can't let you do that," hongjoong attempts to pull you back up, but you refuse, your hands rest on his thighs, looking up at him with sparkling eyes, eagerly waiting for him to say yes. it's difficult for hongjoong to say no to that expression, he curses under his breath, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. "ahh, shit." he grumbles. "have you ever even sucked a dick, y/n?" he looks down at you, and you shake your head.

"no," you innocently respond. "but i can learn with you right? it's difficult for me to have a sex life, y'know, with our schedules and all."

"yeah, yeah…" he looks away, hand covering the flush of his cheeks.

"…wait," you suddenly stood up. "is this your way of telling me you've been sucked off before?"

"was that your way of telling me you've never been fucked before?" hongjoong quipped.

"is that your other way of telling me you've fucked someone else before?!" you shot back.

he chuckles, "c'mon, baby, this is a good thing!" he runs his hands up and down your arms, attempting to soothe your annoyance, although he's not quite sure whether you're joking or serious. "i could teach you a thing or two, you know? how does that sound, sweetheart?" he stands up and spins around, gently guiding you to sit on the couch with him. despite your earlier irritation, you can't help but giggle as he showers your face with kisses, eventually kissing your lips and coaxing you to lay down on the couch as the make-out session intensifies. he climbs on top of you, grinding his hips into yours, you whine into his kiss. "you like that?" hongjoong mumbles in between kisses, abruptly pulling away to rid of his clothing, prompting you to get rid of yours.

you were practically drooling over his cock, already waiting for him to trace it to your entrance as he wrapped his hand tightly around himself, but he didn't. instead, he leaned back on the other end of the couch, head thrown back as he pumped himself hard. as much as you were disappointed, you gotta say, what a fucking sight. the kim hongjoong was masturbating in front of you, to you. eager, you leaned forward and wrapped your hands around his hand that pumped his cock, wanting to make his job easier, hongjoong stared at you blankly for a moment, considering what he should let you do, slowly, he guided your hands to wrap around his thick girth, urging you to pump up and down, occassionally squeezing at the tip, watching as his precum escaped.

"fuck," hongjoong cursed under his breath. "ah, shit, shit, wait," he pulled your hands off of him. concerned you might've hurt him or done a bad job, you pulled away and watched as he ran a hand through his hair. "sorry, i was just so close to cumming." he mumbled, covering his face with both hands in shame.

you tilt your head, confused. "that's a good thing, though."

"no, no, i wanna make you cum first, baby…" his hand met your cheek, stroking it gently. "you want my tongue or fingers?"

"mmh, cock…" you mumbled, laying on your back and spreading your legs, showing your pretty, tight hole on fully display for him to use. "i want your cock, hongjoong…"

"fuck," hongjoong cllimbed over you and eagerly placed his tip at your entrance. who the hell was he to say no to his innocent baby? he stuck two fingers inside you, collectine some of your arousal to wrap around his cock as lubrication, "fuck, will you be able to take me?" he slowly pushed his tip inside, already struggling as your poor pussy hole fluttered around him. "baby, i don't think it'll fit-" he almost laughed.

"it'll fit!" you whined, grabbing his bare forearms. "i've fingered myself thinking about this moment many times, baby, it'll fit, make it fit, please, i want this, rip me apart, baby-"

slowly, hongjoong bottomed out inside you. the stretch stinging you — he almost came at your mere words and he didn't want to hear another second of it, so he patiently settled inside you for a moment, letting you get used to the sensation before he couldn't take it anymore. he might accidently cum inside you with the way your tight virgin hole squeezed around his long, fat cock. his pace started off slow, he pulled out at his tip before harshly slamming back inside you. you whined. "j-joong," you blubbered. "not too hard."

"okay, baby, i'm sorry," hongjoong leaned down, placing a kiss on your lips before slamming back inside you, slowly and gently. he set the vanilla pace. fuck, fuck, fuck, he was fucking you so good. you hated the thought that he had done this with other girls, but then again, if he didn't then he probably wouldn't have had the skill to fuck you like this right now.

"aah- faster," you whined and hongjoong complied, wanting nothing but to please you, to make your first time memorable. he thrust harder into you, his cock hitting your sweet spot you never even knew existed. "aah! ahhh~!" you involuntarily whined, you had never felt so good in your life, you never felt this before, the desire to reach your climax and the desire to never want this feeling to end. "i-i'm cumming, 'joong-" you whined as he fucked harder into you, abrupt thrusts, his head rested in the crook of your neck, letting out soft groans, his warm breath against your skin.

"cum for me, baby, that's right," he groaned as you squeezed tightly around him, creaming around his cock. "fuck, fuck, that's right baby…" he whispered, reaching his climax as well and painting your insides whiter than they have ever been.

"mmng…" you moaned, you couldn't get a word out even if you wanted to. too fucked out to form a coherent thought, hongjoong stayed inside of you until he softened. he pulled out, placing a kiss on your lips and nose.

"fuck, you took me so well, baby, you know that?" he made his way to face your pussy and began pushing the cum back inside your small hole. "mmh, your first time, you had a creampie? what a dirty slut you are, hmm?" he whispered, kissing the inside of your thigh before grabbing your discarded panties from the floor and sliding it back up your legs. all you could let out was a helpless whine, hongjoong dressed himself up, climbing into the couch wiht you, cuddling your naked, fucked out form into his fully clothed one. "sleep, baby, i'll clean you up at my dorm tomorrow, m'kay?"

"y'sure..?"

"yes, baby, don't worry."

[secriden]

Watching Joong's Hurt Me Please MV with the context of how episode 6 ended and how this is likely a song about Fadel's thoughts and feelings about Style after Finding Out, I wanted to take a deeper look at the lyrics.

I have transcribed the English lyrics on Youtube side by side with a fan translated version (credit: bl_zonee on Twitter) just because there's different shades of meaning between them that I find really interesting and I'm curious which one is the more accurate translation or if both are valid, but just give different nuance. (Perhaps a mutual who understands Thai would be willing to give some insight? *u*)

Verse 1 makes a lot of sense to me: Fadel must be wondering how Style could be so cruel ("unkind" / "heartless") because every instance of Style being honest and asking for honesty in return, all of Style's genuine desperation to bare his heart to Fadel in episode 5 and 6, now looks like a calculated, cruel deception.

And after being so afraid to reveal his secret to Style for fear that it would make Style walk away from him, there's a painful irony in Fadel now wishing Style had walked away before. Because the betrayal hurts so much more now that Fadel has given in to his heart.

The chorus is where the nuance between the translations gets interesting.

The Youtube version seems almost like Fadel is taunting Style, putting up a front that he can take the pain Style is dishing out and more. It's like he's hiding behind the bravado of being able to handle the hurt, and even more.

The MV also depicts Style smiling sadistically after slapping Fadel, as if he's enjoying the pain he's inflicting. Meanwhile, Fadel looks up almost in adoration, a strange softness in his eyes at odds with how cruelly he's being treated. The knowledge of Style's betrayal has turned Style into a monster in Fadel's mind, one which he cannot help but to still have soft, affectionate feelings.

But the fan translation sounds much more hurt and accusatory. Fadel is expressing his pain and anguish much more plainly and "you did this to me" is a line that demands responsibility.

In both translations, though, the last line ("can't get enough" / "enjoying the pain") gives us a hint that Fadel isn't willing to give Style up even now. Despite the pain, despite feeling as if he's simultaneously burning up and drowning, there's a part of him that still wants this. That still wants Style.

Interestingly, as Fadel sings the last line he begins to visibly struggle against the rope tying him to the chair. The soft look vanishes and in place is a determination and shadow that spells trouble for Style. The shock is wearing off and Fadel is starting to fight back.

Verse 2 is where the agony really hits, for me.

In both versions, Fadel recognises the way Style's love was (maybe still is?) precious to him ("your love feeds my soul" / "your love nourished my heart"). But because Style's love is a lie, it's transformed into a weapon ("poison"). It twists Style's love into a source of "hurt" to Fadel.

Which is why I think both versions have a line where Fadel admits that there's a part of him that wants Style to keep hurting him -- or rather, to keep loving him; because these are the same thing to Fadel now -- ("hurt me, make me feel used" / "the more I was hurt the more I enjoyed it") whilst also remaining accusatory ("the more I loved, the more sorrow/I suffered").

The lines about "nothing left to write about our love" / "our story" also feel very pointed and final. A closing of a chapter; a closing of the possibility of their former, uncomplicated happily ever after. Style has nothing left to write (report) back to his superiors (the police) because Fadel's love is already complete and his deception has reached the inevitable conclusion of Fadel being found out/destroyed.

All this happens while we see Style continuing to threaten Fadel with a golf club and an almost crazed expression of glee juxtaposed with flashes of Fadel and Style in much happier times.

Also the fact that this line comes with this scene where Fadel lets Style kiss him despite “knowing” it’s all a lie *sobs uncontrollably*:

The first chorus comes back once and the music reaches a plateau. We are clearly preparing for a drop or a modulation and we get exactly that (twice!) with the second chorus:

Here, both versions converge: Fadel is angry, he's furious. Style hurt him and he's going to repay all of it and more ("you'll hurt [by much more]" / "you must suffer more than I did"). The lyrics tell us that, while Fadel cannot take back the hurt (take back his love), he can certainly ensure he isn't alone in the suffering (this love will also hurt Style).

It is at this part where my heart sank as I realised that Fadel's "I think I love you" line in episode 6 now takes on a much more sinister tone.

Because I think that discovering Style's betrayal was also what made Fadel realise the truth of his love for Style; the very agony he was in was the sign that Fadel's heart was lost to him. But even as it is true, I also think he still made the choice to ruin Style in the same breath. Because if Style could use Fadel’s love as a weapon then Fadel is going to use it (Fadel’s love) to hurt Style too.

A decision was made in this moment, and everything Fadel does afterwards in this scene is deliberate.

There is, however, one piece of hope:

Despite Fadel's expressed fury, what the MV shows us is Fadel breaking out of his bonds, shoving Style back and punching him once and then:

For all his anger, for all his rage, for all his threats of manifold vengeance, what we see is Fadel pressing close and kissing Style; once on the lips, and once on his chest (heart), all while the lyrics makes space for one last plea:

("don't betray me")

For me, its the way the line is shown together with this direct visual parallel between the ignorant Fadel in the past (left) and the Fadel of the present who has seen through Style's deception (right) that I find particularly compelling. Even now, even at the point of Fadel discovering Style's betrayal, there is still hope for forgiveness.

Because Fadel cannot help himself. Because Style made Fadel's bleeding heart whole again; and it beats, it feels, and despite how much it hurts, what Fadel still wants more than anything else in the world -- desperately and simply -- is Style.

[jokeroutsubs]

[📝ENG Translation]: Souvenir Pop Through the Eyes of Joker Out Members

Original article written by Boštjan Tušek, published 27.11.2024 on 24ur. Photos by Miro Majcen. English translation by @kurooscoffee, review by drumbeat, proofread IG GBoleyn123.

Full translation under the cut 👇

We visited Joker Out in their rehearsal space, where the band members shared their thoughts on their new album and explained all the songs from their third full-length album, Souvenir Pop, in their own words. The album has already been released on digital platforms and CDs, and they are promising a vinyl edition as well.

About the Title SOUVENIR POP:

Bojan: We were sitting here in the rehearsal space, struggling to find a short, universally understandable way to summarise everything that happened to us during this time. After some serious thought, we realised that the music is essentially a collection of memories—“souvenirs”—that we’ve gathered. For the first time in our lives, we traveled so much and spent so much time away from home. Everything was very “pop,” and we lived out all the pop star dreams we used to admire. We shortened this journey into “pop,” making it a souvenir pop journey.

Photo: Joker Out recently unveiled their third album, Souvenir Pop. Together with Bojan, Kris, Jan, Nace, and Jure, we analysed all the songs on the album. PHOTO: Miro Majcen.

On the Cover Photo Taken in Bed:

Jure: The cover photo was born long before the album got its title. It was captured on the morning of the semifinals last May in Liverpool. We kept it under wraps for almost a year and a half. We liked it already back then and immediately thought it could one day work as an album cover. When we started looking for a cover, it still best reflected our feelings.

Bojan: It was taken on an iPhone during the filming of a promotional video, so basically a completely randomly captured moment.

On the “Circus” Surrounding Them Because of the New Album:

Kris: What's particularly noticeable is the mental and emotional fragmentation. The songs are quite diverse and colourful, and at first glance, they didn’t seem to belong on the same album. But as Bojan said, they remind us of fridge magnets, which perhaps reflects that we were “all over the place,” and that we were exploring ourselves on a broader musical, lyrical, and instrumental level than usual.

Nace: You can tell the songs are “hyped up” because we were in that mindset. Different things influence you, and it would have been quite different if we had stayed home for a month before that instead of being on tour.

PHOTO: Miro Majcen.

On Lack of Time:

Kris: We had to intentionally carve out time to write and record songs. We spent two months in London, a month in Hamburg, and last year we took a week in Kočevje to work on 'Everybody’s Waiting'. Carpe Diem took 14 days. We were maybe even under a bit of pressure, knowing we had to produce something.

On Three Languages on the Album:

Bojan: We spent a lot of time with all three languages; speaking, listening, and thinking in them. The stories naturally emerged in all three languages, and we didn’t resist that because it would have been truly foolish.

I see language as just another tool for conveying information, like how a specific guitar effect suits one song but not another.

PHOTO: Miro Majcen.

On Egos:

Bojan: Egos have to clash because they’re an important part of our drive. I wouldn’t say our egos fight; they occasionally disagree, but everything generally moves in the same direction—to create something the five of us like. We have a healthy dose of competitiveness, and we’ve never truly had a fight. We separate the person from the musician, which I think is important.

Kris: There was never much ego, but for this album, we threw out what little was left. On this record especially, we faced moments where someone else did something on your instrument that you should have done. But that opened new possibilities and ideas—a fresh perspective. This happened to all of us except Bojan with vocals.

Kris: Today, a friend sent me a message from Venice; they were playing 'Carpe Diem'. Last year, we made it onto the top 40 charts of a Lithuanian radio station. PHOTO: Miro Majcen.

Comments on the songs from the album SOUVENIR POP:

1. MUZIKA ZA DECU (Serbo-Croatian):

Bojan: When the idea came to me, I was thinking about how much I liked what was coming out of the speakers; quite grown up. Then I had a flash of cynicism and sarcasm: it’s all just for girls, for kids. Hence, “muzika za decu” (music for children). Initially, it was called Zlatna kosica (Golden hair), haha. I wrote the intro, then improvised the rest of the lyrics in Hamburg while we were playing it.

Nace: You might have changed two words.

Kris: The intro I play on guitar was originally done by Bojan on the piano. While recording, I was strumming along, imagining a piano intro. But when we listened to it later, everything felt so wrong that we started liking it. That’s how it stayed. We recorded it all together in one room, in one go.

Bojan: Žare was thrilled that he had to “clean up” the vocals (laughs), which we recorded in the kitchen.

Jure: This is one of the songs which features guest performers; a children’s choir at the end.

Nace: The kids from our crew and their relatives sang. The first group sang too in tune, so we recorded another group that was a bit less perfect. In the end, we combined the two recordings, and it turned out just right. There were about 15 to 20 kids altogether.

Jan: The guitar sound came from my Whammy pedal, which the producer Žare Pak didn’t always like, haha.

Nace: We have to commend Žare for producing in such a way that everything unnecessary is stripped away. He never hides anything like some other producers might.

PHOTO: Miro Majcen.

2. ŠTA BIH JA (Serbo-Croatian):

Kris: This was the first song we created in London. Within a week, we already had the structure, though it initially resembled Bijelo Dugme. Some elements were later removed.

Nace: Yeah, Žare came in and said, ���Guys, this is unnecessary” (laughs).

Kris: His reaction was hilarious. When he heard it, he said, “Did I send you to the UK to make yugo music?!” (laughs). It was our first Balkan reaction to being foreigners in a foreign country, and it just poured out of us. Bojan already had the lyrics “šta bih ja u ovoj crnoj noći bez tebe radio” (what would I do in this dark night without you), and we recorded it.

Bojan: I actually prefer hearing my voice in Serbo-Croatian over Slovenian, the position of the voice seems more natural.

Jure: It's interesting how the colour of Bojan's voice changes with different languages, which is actually quite normal.

Kris: Yeah, Bojan, in a 'Balkan language,' your rocker alter ego comes out even more, I think.

PHOTO: Miro Majcen.

3. CARPE DIEM (Slovenian):

Bojan: This is the original souvenir. And pop. It’s hard to believe how one song can change everything for you like that. It’s literally just one of our songs; not necessarily better than the others, maybe not even one of my favourites. But as our Eurovision entry, it perfectly conveyed our message. The whole story and image of the band are captured in those three minutes. It’s an excellent channel for our energy, which got people to believe in us and become interested.

Kris: Today, a friend sent me a message from Venice; they played 'Carpe Diem' there. Last year, we were on the Lithuanian radio top 40 charts.

Bojan: The most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen in my life was when an older Mongolian singer and his band played and sang Carpe Diem live at a reception for our president, Nataša Pirc Musar, in Ulaanbaatar. We also received a recording from Zanzibar, where someone played it on a hotel terrace.

Bojan: I wouldn’t say our egos fight; they occasionally disagree, but everything generally moves in the same direction—to create something we all like. PHOTO: Miro Majcen.

4. STEPHANIE (English):

Bojan: Of course, Stephanie isn’t really Stephanie, but these are real people who exist.

Jure: I didn’t have any part in this one since there are no drums; everything is programmed (laughs).

Nace: Yeah, everything was done by Casio, haha.

Kris: For many songs, we had a sample beat to practice with, and in some cases, it stayed in the final version. 'Stephanie' is one of those songs as well.

5. AKO TOGA VIŠE NEČE BITI (Serbo-Croatian):

Bojan: You believe in Santa Claus until you realise he doesn’t exist. It’s the same with love; until something destroys everything so thoroughly that you simply stop believing in it. This is a song about very raw disappointment with love.

Nace: I’m in a long-term relationship, and when you leave home, it’s a sacrifice both partners make. In the spirit of it being good for both of you and your partner supports it, everything is okay.

Kris: Full respect to your partner for enduring how you went from ‘zero to a hundred’ in six months.

Nace: We have to commend Žare for producing in such a way that everything unnecessary is stripped away. PHOTO: Miro Majcen

6. BLUZA (Serbo-Croatian):

Bojan: I wrote 'Bluza' a long time ago, up to the chorus, about three years ago. For a long time, nothing happened with it until I presented it to the guys on an acoustic guitar. From there, it developed quickly, in a day or two. We even played it on tour before its release. Initially, it was more guitar-driven than it is now. The title, 'Bluza', literally just comes from the lyric “u ritmu tvoga bluza” (in the rhythm of your blues), but I quite like it.

Jan: A lot of our songs are titled after a phrase from the first verse that has no connection to the chorus.

Bojan: Similarly, back in university, my friends kept nagging me about 'Gola' (Naked), why we gave it that title, but nobody thought of the phrase “za naju” (for us), haha.

Kris: It’s probably because, during the creative process, we repeat the first part a lot, and that phrase naturally becomes the title.

Bojan: The story of a song always takes shape in the first verse.

PHOTO: Miro Majcen

7. LIPS (English):

Bojan: We heard there’s a lot of money in music for films, so the song sounds like an apocalyptic ballad (laughs). Initially, it was quite Franz Ferdinand-esque. We even considered a duet with a French singer but didn’t have a clear vision, so we dropped the idea. Later, Žare and I restructured it, and then Nace tied everything together into a cohesive piece.

Jure: The song went through quite a few iterations.

Nace: Originally, it was a completely different song called 'Je t'aime'.

PHOTO: Miro Majcen

8. MESTO DUHOV (Slovenian):

Bojan: Trumpeter Luka Ipavec collaborated on this track, adding trumpet parts to the choruses. We created it in England and named it after the street we were living on; it had quite a dark vibe. Initially, the song was about a girl who cheated on me, leading to my suicide. Then we introduced the “papapapa” part, creating an atmosphere of a funeral, a procession. When we decided the song should be in Slovenian, we tied it to how the current social climate feels incredibly negative overall. People are always ready to quickly react to something negative. It’s no longer pleasant to go outside; everything reflects the weight of what’s happening around us. There’s unfortunately an air of superficiality around us.

Jan: The solo came to life in Hamburg. Later, when we were finishing the songs, I had the idea to rhythmically slice the solo so that it spells out “baby boo” in Morse code.

Jan: A lot of our songs are titled after a phrase from the first verse that has no connection to the chorus. PHOTO: Miro Majcen

9. SONCE (Slovenian):

Jan: I play the keyboards on this one. Bojan had already outlined the song on guitar with chords. The idea was to create something orchestral, like in 'Novi val'. I, however, approached it differently and arranged the piano part. I showed Bojan a melody that, in my view, reflects the essence of the song.

Bojan: This song is a direct reaction to events in Palestine. It’s the story of a deceased son speaking to his mother. It’s undoubtedly the most emotionally heavy song on the album. The structure is also unconventional; no part repeats, and the chorus appears only once. Jan captured perfectly what the vocals are saying with his piano part. It’s like a haiku, a single thought; not a classic pop song. Jan nailed the final take on his first try.

Kris: We could quickly get stuck creatively if everyone only insisted on their own instruments. Many songs only broke through when someone pressed something different. There were many moments where we needed that kind of freshness.

PHOTO: Miro Majcen

10. EVERYBODY’S WAITING (English):

Kris: This was a song we didn’t know what to do with until Žare offered the most basic beat, and Jan started working with the Rhodes electric piano, which set the direction for the album.

Bojan: Jan picked up the Rhodes out of nowhere and according to Žare, he plays better than 90 percent of Slovenian keyboardists (laughs).

Kris: Žare’s modus operandi is to break your conventional thinking and enhance your intuition. He believes intuition is superior to thinking.

PHOTOS: Miro Majcen

[burningcheese-merchant]

BurningCheese/GoldenSpice Playlist

Ok, time to stop being a bitch and post the ship playlist I keep harping on about already.

Gonna mark each song with an emoji to signify if it's meant to either be Burning Spice's POV (🔺) or Golden Cheese's (🧀). It's also going to be band/singer name first, song name second, for ease of understanding

Thank you to everyone who's reached out to me, both on here and on AO3, with song suggestions! A good chunk of these came from me myself, but a lot of people introduced me to plenty more songs that I loved and agreed suited these two perfectly. It's been fun putting a playlist together with this help, it feels like a fun group project now lol. (Hell, you guys are actually helping me think of new writing material. Music is a huge source of inspiration and creativity for me, as I'm sure you've noticed. In a way, you're all indirectly making fic requests lol)

You're all still more than welcome to keep shooting me song ideas to add, the playlist is ever-expanding! I'll just come back to this post and edit any new additions in. (This playlist is 3x longer than my PitayaFire one. I need you all to understand how big of a deal that is for me personally. I never thought I'd be this down bad for a ship besides that one. It's fucking surreal)

Some of it is meant to sound one-sided, others like it's a mutual love/relationship. I'll let you guess which is which lol. Now rock out to Evil Spice Man x Pretty Cheese Lady with me 🤘🤘🤘

Mindless Self Indulgence - Shut Me Up🔺

Fall Out Boy - I Don't Care🔺(with the Wild Spice crew as the backup singers!!!)

Mariah Carey - Obsessed 🧀

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You🔺🧀

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance🔺🧀

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - What Do They Know?🔺

Britney Spears - Toxic 🧀

Fish in a Birdcage - Rule #34🔺(this is also a great PureShadow song ngl. It's how it was first introduced to me, even lol)

Shayfer James - Filthy Habit🔺

King Gnu - SPECIALZ🔺🧀 (look up the English version of the lyrics. Very BurningCheese-core imo)

Mindless Self Indulgence - This Hurts🔺

Jack Black - Peaches🔺(shout out to the anon in my inbox who suggested this. Joke's on them, I had this on the playlist right from the start lolololololol)

Arctic Monkeys - R U Mine?🔺

Lady Gaga - Poker Face 🧀

Olly Murs (feat. Flo Rida) - Troublemaker 🧀

Rihanna - Where Have You Been🔺(fun fact: I had this playing on a loop as I wrote "Our Little Dance" to get into the Yandere Spice mindset lol)

Lady Gaga - Judas 🧀

Miike Snow - Genghis Khan🔺

The Orion Experience - Obsessed With You🔺(this song is just really funny. You can probably apply it to all Beast x Ancient ships tbh)

Nine Inch Nails - Closer🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - 5TR82HE11🔺

Air Traffic Controller - This Is Love🔺

Bad Omens - THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND🔺🧀

Isabel LaRosa - favorite 🧀

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch🔺(listen I imagined Spice singing this to Golden and just started howling with laughter, it's fucking hysterical ok)

ENHYPEN - Bite Me🔺

Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide🔺(GC would sing a few parts tho)

5 Seconds of Summer - Teeth🔺🧀 (mostly Spice though)

Buerak - Культ Тела 🔺(look up English lyrics, very Yandere Spice coded. Thank you to the anon who suggested it)

Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango🔺

Lady Gaga - Disease 🧀

G-Eazy (with Halsey) - Him & I🔺🧀

Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time🔺(imagine Spice singing this while stuck in prison. Please. He's singing and the other Beasts want to off themselves because it's so annoying and he won't stop. Please it is so funny. I have so much fun imagining this freak acting stupid-)

[rememberingliampayne]

Dear Liam,

I'm going to miss you so very much. I'm going to miss opening your snapchat stories, I'm going to miss watching your tiktoks and I'm going to miss hearing your new music. You were such a huge part of my life, even if you never knew me.

I was around 6 years old when what makes you beautiful was released. I live in Canada and One Direction was the only thing every girl in my class talked about. I was wearing one direction pajamas to bed every night and had a 1D backpack just like every other girl my age. However, I wasn't able to fully appreciate everything the band was, I was mainly invested into the singles, and LOVED zayn, especially as a indian girl in western culture.

That is until I was around 12 years old in 2018, where I became a full blown stan. As I learned more about the band, watching every interview and memorizing the entire discography, I imediately fell in love with everything about you (no pun intended). You were always so sweet and funny, which is why YOU, liam, became my favourite. I started getting fully emerged into everyone's solo music, but bedroom floor and strip that down were the songs I played the most.

I was so excited for LP1 to release, I remember staying up all night (no pun intended again), just to be one of the firsts to listen. However, even then I recall everyone hating and comparing your music to the other boys' releases. I didn't care and stood by everything, I remember using the lyrics of 'heart meets break' as a part of my romeo and juliet english presentation in ninth grade LOL.

Then when COVID hit YOU were the only thing keeping me going. I felt completely isolated and lost, but you going on tik tok live, the LP show, the weekly roundups on youtube and everything else you were doing at the time helped me get through it. Every bit of content you released brightened my day, and it gave me something to look forward to ESPECIALLY during those uncertain times. I remember seeing the tik toks you made like wap/wmyb one with abby, or the other one captioned something along the lines of "the meeting after zayn left the band," and i rmr you posting and talking abt Eitan. I remember every tiny detail because of how much it meant to me, and how much I enjoyed your content.

On a lower note, after the logan interview, i rmr distant friends who didnt even listen to 1D text me to debrief the interview, because everyone was hating on you. I however, always defended you to everyone I know. I was truly upset by people who ridiculed you for saying sum along the lines of the band being built around simon's promise to you. Yes I agree everyone in the band is so talented and successful in their own ways, and everyone has come a longg way from then, but I told everyone who approached me abt this that you were probably the most comfortable and strongest vocally during XFactor. You are so so talented Liam, and I have always defended that. I was truly upset by the hatred being sent towards you during that time, and although I missed your regular content during that break, I'm so glad you were able to take some time for yourself.

Fast forward to this year, I was so excited to be signed up for whatsapp updates officially, and thought that was the coolest thing ever!!! I listened to Teardrops as SOON as it was released after waiting forever because this was the start of a new era :). I couldnt wait to hear new music for the first time in a couple of years, the hype with the stickers and everything was also super super cool. The song felt so authentic and I couldnt wait for you to drop a second album. I imagined you'd go on tour next year to promote a new album, but I guess we'll unfortunately never know your plans.

One day when I was opening snapchat stories from my friends as I normally do, I clicked next and stumbled upon a story from you! It was so surprising and shocking, I mean I've subscribed on snapchat to u since I made my account in like 2020, but I've never really seen you POST. Eventually this became a regular thing, the snapchat stories, and I rmr you even posting on your instagram story telling fans to watch the snap content lol. Even up to the days before you unfortunately left us, I would watch those stories over and over because your content has always brightened my life.

I love and appreciate you so much Liam, thank you for everything you've done for us as fans. I hope that one day I will meet you, and that I will be able to thank you for everything. I hope you're happy wherever you are and know that you have always been loved :)

[asarajaa]

Me encanta los colores de tu blog!!

Do you have any head canons for Bachira?

How he would react to falling in love with someone? :)

I hope you are doing well!

Omg mil gracias! Me pasé como 2 días buscando el aesthetic correcto, en un principio iba a ser coquette pero cambie de idea en último momento jajsjsja

Said and done, my love! Hope you like it <3!

Warnings: fem!reader, spanish lyrics, bllk fem!manager Words: 565 Disclaimer: English isn't my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

Bachira falling in love hcs

₊˚ෆ We have to be realistic, this man wouldn't notice.

₊˚ෆ I believe Bachira hasn't any experience with the female genre except his mom, so he think of you as just a friend.

₊˚ෆ At first he didn't know how to 'name' you, because it felt different being your friend compared to being Isagis, but he thought it was because you were girl.

₊˚ෆ It isn't until Chigiri pointed out your treatment to each other. How you always give him first water or anything he needs, how his eyes look for your presence when he enters any room and so on.

₊˚ෆ Then is when he started to notice.

₊˚ෆ Bachira is confused af, so before making any move (or making another one, apparently) he waited until break and ask advice from his mama.

₊˚ෆ How can you blame him? You were such a really nice friend (?) and he didn't wanna mess things up.

₊˚ෆ When his mama tells him about the feeling in his stomach (know he knows they're called butterflies), the heart beating faster and more signs, he agreed with the idea of being in love with you.

₊˚ෆ "How to make my crush like me back".

₊˚ෆ MY POOR BOY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO 😭😭😭

₊˚ෆ After some advice (from his mama ofc), he decided let the things flow. Again, I believe Bachira is very cautious with this thing and doesn't wanna mess thing up (plus i'll be awkard if he does bc you guys will see eachother everyday for a long time, he doesn't want that).

₊˚ෆ His mamas advice help him, but he's still confused. Like, does he really fall in love? He doesn't know the answer to that.

₊˚ෆ You, on the other hand, were 100% sure you were in love with him.

₊˚ෆ Until on day, the day. It was during the break, you were hanging out with the boys when all of a sudden it started raining.

You were alone with Bachira, in the middle of the way back to the arcade. All of you were hungry and since the arcades food wasn't cheap, you guys decided to go to a convenient store.

All of you put your names on a roulette you find on the internet to decide the 2 persons who had to went, and omg- Bachira and you? How unexpected.

However, it started raining and you were with Bachira. Bachira, as the gentleman he is, offered to carry all of the bags ( because mama didn't raise no ungentleman boy ✋🏽).

And your first thought wasn't to put on the hood you had, or going to a covered place- no.

Your first thought was to touch your fingertips making a little house and cover Bachiras head.

Of course, it barely worked.

But the effort.

The effort. Because you were shorter than him, you have to tiptoe so his face was pretty close to yours.

The effort. Because you were getting your hair wet, which made it stick to your cheeks while his face was almost all dry.

The effort. Because you put his needings before yours (and he'll be damned if he didn't do the same).

At that moment, with your face millimeters away from him, he could only had one thing in his mind:

Mama will like her.

₊˚ෆ "Ya encontré, la que será mi futura esposa" was his only though at that moment apart from the fact that his mother would like you AND U CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND 😻✋🏽

₊˚ෆ For those who not know spanish, that is a line from a very popular song here in Spain. It's called "Mi Estrella Blanca", the line appears in the 1:45 minute. It means "I have already found the one who will be my future wife" and the song means "My White Star", it's a very beautiful song, go listen to it!!!

I LOVED how this turned on, I think I'll be making content inpired by lyrics from now on, tell me your opn!!

idk if you guys understant what y/n was doing with her hands?? here's a picture:

WHJBDJHD SRRY IT'S THE ONLY ONE THAT MATCHES. Imagine it like that but the thumbs are w/ the rest of the fingers.

PODER BESAARLA, CADA MAÑAANA. MIRAR PAL LADO Y VERLA TUMBADA EN MI CAAMA. SERÁ MI NOOCHE, SERÁ MI DÍAAAAAA. MI ESTRELA BLANCAAA

btw I finished 4 today, my abdomen hurts a little bit from sitting for a long time, lovya'll 💗💗💗

3 post in a day wow

26/04/24

© asarajaa — Please, do not copy, translate or reuse my work without my permission.

[russellsppttemplates]

Summer break (Mick Schumacher)

Small bikinis, new outfits, loud parties with alcohol to spare are some of the memories you get from summer break with Mick

Note: english is not my first language. this is a long piece that I hope will keep the interactions back up (I love getting your requests and overall having you interact with the posts and having some random thoughts shared too!), so I hope you enjoy this piece as I tried to combine to smaller requests into a big one

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

Tw: mentions reader's insecurities (scars, stretch marks), some smutty comments

"Come here, pale boy, I need to put SPF on you, otherwise you'll turn into a lobster by midday", you urged your boyfriend, grabbing the sunscreen bottle from your bag and seeing him comply with your request.

You started applying the cream product to his arms and shoulders, massaging it all along his back ensuring every bit of skin was covered and protected, "turn for me", you whispered on his ear as you noticed his spine shiver despite the warm air around you. Slowly, your boyfriend complied and you sprayed the product on his chest, circling his nipples and then moving to his tummy before heading back up to his neck and then his face, taking the opportunity to appreciate his handsome facial features. Your thumbs travelled from his forehead to his cheeks and then his lips, memorising every dimple.

"Can you do my back, please?", you asked him, handing him the bottle so he could do your back, the only place you hadn't been able to reach on your own. Mick was quick to u fasten your bikini top, making you place each hand on your boobs, hoping you wouldn't flash anyone, "Mick! You could've warned me!", you swatted his arm, not missing his smirk, "I just want to you to be protected everywhere, liebling", he said nonchalantly, rubbing the product before spraying it on your butt, "you have this really tiny piece that I love, but I can't risk you getting burnt either", he said, looking around as he bent down to kiss just over your bikini bottoms.

You were laying on the lounging area of the yacht, faintly hearing Esteban sing loudly (and terribly) to some song you couldn't point, your head on Mick's chest while your leg was hoisted up on middle section, his fingers tracing the stretch marks on your thighs wirh a soft touch, "it tickles", you giggled, running your hand on his chest, "but it doesn't hurt you, right? I quite enjoy to do this, but I don't want to make it uncomfortable for you", he muttered, kissing the top of your head, "it's fine, just thought they would be bumpy and weird for you", you mumbled, receiving a weird look from your boyfriend, "Y/N, I love you. I love all of you, and I love how your moles and stretchmarks and birthmarks make you you. And these", he traced the stretchmarks again, "they always go lighter in the summer, or the rest of your skin darkens I guess, and they glisten in the sunlight, and you look so beautiful. It's just another point that proves that you are, in fact, an angel that was sent to me and I couldn't be more grateful".

.

"Here you go", you said, holding Mick's cup on your hand while you poured the alcoholic mixture on it, handing it to him so you could share the drink once you reached your previous spot on the yacht.

Esteban had some friends over and the party was on a roll, dancing and drinks being refilled as they yelled random lyrics you wouldn't be able to understand even if you wanted to given the mixture of accents and foreign languages. And you and Mick had been in the middle of all of it for a while, deciding now to hang out in a quieter part of the yacht, sitting in the lounge sofa and enjoying the sunset, "you look beautiful, liebling", Mick began, his hand coming near your face to tuck a strand of your curly hair behind your ear, "so do you, my love", you mumbled, a little bit tipsy, kissing his cocktail flavoured lips and keeping your hand in his cheek, craddling his face to take in all his beauty. It didn't matter that you had been dating him, like many people often joked about, since you were in diapers, you could never get over how delicate and expressive his eyes were, how soft his cheeks were, how living his smile was. To you, he was simply the most handsome, and you thanked your lucky stars everyday that he was yours to appreciate like this.

"You're really tanned, my love", you mused, rubbing your thumb on his cheeks, "You look like a golden chicken nugget", you giggled, bringing a smile to your boyfriend's face, "perfectly crispy outside and chewy soft on the inside? I thought you preferred when I was har-", he blurted, only stopping when you clasped your hand on top of his mouth, his dirty comment muffled on your palm, "Mick Schumacher! You kiss your mother with that mouth?!", you scolded, "liebling, you know how I can do a lot with this mouth, especially when it comes to you", he teased you, his hands pulling you to sit on his lap, peppering your neck with kisses, "since you're so eager, care to show me those skills tonight?".

.

"I'm going to brush my hair and then we can leave", you announced to the rest of the group, Mick coming right behind you so he could get dressed to go out too, having decided to stay in comfier clothes until everyone was finally ready to leave.

You were brushing your hair and putting some product in it, the constant sun and salty water combination needing some extra products that usual so your hair wouldn't dry out, splitting your hair to your usual parting and heading to the room so you could grab your sandals, seeing Mick in his outfit for the evening. You gulped, and probably louder than you anticipated since your boyfriend looked at you with concern, "are you okay? Did you have something that didn't settle well in your tummy?", he said, his ring cladded hands coming to rub your lower stomach, not knowing the impact it was clearly having on you, "I'm good, I'm good", you muttered, managing to put your sandals on while you looked at your boyfriend, the black and white outfit complimenting his tanned skin in the most perfect way, the added silver jewellery catching your eye.

Mick was heading for the bathroom, brushing his hair with his fingers and you just about caught him about to grab some hair gel, "No!", you blurted, "can you leave it soft? Pretty please?", you pouted, fumbling your fingers around his blond hair, "do you like it?", he said, looking at the adoration in your eyes, "what? The hair? Or the outfit? Or the fact that my boyfriend looks insanely good and I have to go out with his friends for a bit before I can get you all to myself?", you questioned, lacing your hands around his neck and kissing his jaw, "c'mon, I want to take a picture of you looking like this. Me and your mother need to gossip about how handsome you look and I need to have this materialised forever in my phone", you urged him, holding his hand and making him go and take pictures at sunset.

[chiyuuchu]

Hello!!! Your account layout reminded me so much of this song called Virtual Angel by ARTMS… I was wondering if u could do a story based off the song! It can be either todoroki or bakugou (leaning more on todoroki) but it’s fine, whatever u think will fit!!! The song is in Korean (bc it’s kpop…) so u can search up Virtual Angel English lyrics and there will be a ton of results! Love ur account!!! 🪽🪽🪽💕💕💕

Virtual Angel <3 (9th August 2024)

Shoto Todoroki x Reader

Prompt! She’s there when no one else is, guiding him through his struggles and helping him thaw his frozen emotions.

a/n i’ll continue to write for everyone’s request! this song has inspired more plots for my future writing and speaking of kpop, stan kiss of life!

The sun was setting over U.A. High, casting long shadows across the school grounds. Shoto Todoroki walked silently through the empty courtyard, his mind as distant as the horizon. He had always been alone, even in a crowd, his heart wrapped in layers of ice that kept everyone at bay.

But lately, something strange had been happening. He had begun to see her—a girl with soft eyes and delicate wings that flickered and glitched as if they were part of a broken hologram. She appeared when he least expected it, standing just out of reach, her presence both comforting and unsettling.

“Who are you?” he asked one day, his voice low and cautious as he stopped in his tracks to look at her.

“I’m Y/N,” she replied with a gentle smile, her wings fluttering slightly before flickering out for a moment, then reappearing. “I’m here to watch over you, Shoto.”

He blinked, confused. “Watch over me? Why?”

She stepped closer, her expression soft but unreadable. “Because you need someone to. I’m here to help you, to guide you. But... you’re the only one who can see me.”

Shoto frowned, his heart beating a little faster. He didn’t want to admit it, but there was something about her that felt familiar, like she had always been there, just beyond the edges of his vision. But the more he tried to focus on her, the more her wings seemed to glitch, fading in and out of existence.

“I don’t understand,” he murmured, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Is there something wrong with me?”

Y/N’s smile grew sad, and she reached out, her hand passing through his like a whisper. “Because you’re special, Shoto. But it’s not time for you to understand yet.”

As the days passed, Shoto found himself increasingly distracted by Y/N’s presence. She was always there, watching him, guiding him through his training and offering quiet words of encouragement when he needed them most. But no one else could see her, and that was beginning to worry him.

In the quiet solitude of the training room, Shoto stood in front of a line of dummies, his breath steady but his heart racing. He had been struggling with controlling both his fire and ice in harmony—every time he tried, one would overpower the other, leaving him frustrated and drained.

“You can do this, Shoto,” Y/N’s soft voice echoed around him, though no one else could hear it. She stood beside him, her glitchy wings fluttering faintly. “Remember what I told you—balance comes from within, not from force.”

Shoto clenched his fists, his mind torn between his two halves. “It’s not that easy,” he muttered, the cold creeping up his right side as the heat flared on his left. “I’ve tried everything.”

Y/N stepped closer, her presence soothing. “You’ve been fighting against yourself, trying to control the elements instead of embracing them. You’re not just fire or ice—you’re both. Let them coexist, like two parts of a whole.”

He looked at her, her figure flickering slightly, but her eyes steady and full of belief. For a moment, the doubts that had always plagued him—the fear of becoming like his father, the resentment of using his fire—began to fade. In their place, a new resolve took root.

Closing his eyes, Shoto took a deep breath, letting go of the tension in his body. He visualized the two elements not as enemies, but as partners. The cold was his calm, his clarity; the heat was his passion, his drive. Together, they were his strength.

Slowly, he extended both hands, letting the ice and fire flow naturally, meeting at the center. Instead of fighting for dominance, they intertwined, swirling in harmony. The air around him crackled with energy, but it was controlled, purposeful.

When he opened his eyes, the training dummies in front of him were frozen solid, with delicate patterns of frost etched into their surfaces. At the same time, a thin line of fire traced through the ice, splitting them in two with precision.

He exhaled, a sense of relief and accomplishment washing over him. For the first time, he felt at peace with his powers—not as separate entities, but as parts of who he was.

Y/N smiled, her wings shimmering brighter for a moment. “See? I knew you could do it.”

Shoto turned to her, his heart swelling with gratitude. “I wouldn’t have done it without you, Y/N. You’ve helped me more than you know.”

Her smile turned wistful, and she reached out, her hand brushing his, though he couldn’t feel the touch. “I’m just here to remind you of what you already have inside, Shoto. You’ve always had this strength—you just needed to believe in it.”

As she began to fade once more, Shoto felt a pang of loss, but also a deep sense of connection. She might not always be visible, but her influence, her belief in him, would remain.

“Thank you,” he whispered, watching as she disappeared into the air, leaving behind a warmth that lingered in his heart.

And as he stood there, alone but not lonely, Shoto knew he would carry her guidance with him, wherever he went.

One afternoon during a class sparring session, Shoto paused mid-battle, his gaze flickering to where Y/N stood by the wall, her wings glitching and shimmering. He hesitated, just long enough for his opponent to land a hit that sent him sprawling.

“Erm.. Todoroki, what’s been going on with you?” Midoriya asked as he helped him up, concern etched on his face.

Shoto shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. “It’s nothing. I just... got distracted.”

But it wasn’t nothing, and it wasn’t just distraction. His classmates had started to notice how often he seemed to be talking to himself, how his gaze would drift to empty spaces as if someone was there. The whispers began—quiet, anxious murmurs about whether Todoroki Shoto, the stoic and powerful student, was losing his mind.

One evening, as Shoto sat alone in the common room, Y/N appeared beside him, her wings flickering more than usual. She looked concerned, her brows furrowing as she studied him.

“They’re worried about you,” she said softly, her voice almost a whisper.

He sighed, leaning back against the couch. “They think I’m crazy. That I’m talking to myself.”

Y/N’s expression grew pained, and she knelt beside him, her hand hovering just above his. “You’re not crazy, Shoto. You’re just... different. They don’t understand because they can’t see what you see.”

He turned to look at her, his heart heavy with confusion. “But why can’t they see you? Why am I the only one?”

Y/N hesitated, her wings glitching wildly for a moment before settling down. “Because you’re special,” she repeated, her voice barely audible. “But the reason... it’s something you have to discover on your own.”

Shoto’s life became a strange balance between the reality his classmates lived in and the world he shared with Y/N. He spent more time alone, retreating into the quiet places of the school where he could talk to her without worrying about the stares and whispers.

The common room buzzed with the usual after-school chatter, but Shoto sat apart from the others, seemingly engrossed in his own world. Y/N was sitting beside him on the couch, her glitchy wings softly flickering in and out of view. They were deep in conversation, her voice a soothing presence amid the noise.

“You’re making great progress,” Y/N said with a gentle smile, her wings briefly flickering out before reappearing. “But remember, don’t push yourself too hard.”

Shoto nodded, his expression thoughtful. “I know. It’s just... there’s still so much I need to work on.”

“Who are you talking to?”

The sudden question pulled Shoto out of his conversation. He looked up to find Midoriya and Iida standing in front of him, both wearing identical expressions of concern.

Shoto blinked, momentarily disoriented. “What?”

“You’ve been sitting here, talking to... someone,” Midoriya said, glancing around the empty space beside Shoto. “But there’s no one here.”

Iida adjusted his glasses, his tone serious. “We’ve noticed this happening a lot recently, Todoroki. You seem to be having conversations with thin air. Is everything alright?”

Shoto hesitated, glancing at Y/N, who watched the exchange with a sad, knowing smile. He knew they couldn’t see her, couldn’t understand the connection he had with the angel that only he could perceive. But how could he explain it to them without sounding crazy?

“I... it’s nothing,” Shoto finally said, his voice quiet but firm. “Just... thinking out loud.”

Midoriya exchanged a worried look with Iida. “Todoroki, we’re your friends. If something’s bothering you, you can tell us.”

Shoto appreciated their concern, but he knew they wouldn’t understand. How could they? Y/N was a part of his reality that was invisible to everyone else, and he wasn’t ready to let go of the comfort she brought him.

“I’m fine,” Shoto insisted, a little more forcefully this time. “Really.”

Midoriya frowned but nodded slowly. “Okay. But if you ever need to talk, we’re here for you.”

With that, the two walked away, leaving Shoto alone once more. He let out a quiet sigh, turning back to Y/N, who was now watching him with a soft, almost apologetic expression.

“They’re worried about you,” she said gently.

“I know,” Shoto replied, his voice tinged with frustration. “But they wouldn’t understand.”

Y/N’s wings flickered as she leaned closer, her presence a comforting weight against the confusion swirling in his mind. “You’re not alone, Shoto. As long as you believe in me, I’ll be here, even if no one else can see me.”

Shoto nodded, feeling a sense of calm return. No matter what his classmates thought, as long as he had Y/N by his side, he knew he could face whatever challenges lay ahead.

But the more time they spent together, the more Y/N’s wings glitched, and the more fragmented her presence became. Sometimes she would fade entirely, only to reappear moments later, her form flickering like a faulty video feed.

“Something’s wrong,” Shoto said one day as they sat together on the roof of the school, the sky darkening into twilight. “Your wings... they’re not supposed to do that, are they?”

Y/N looked at him, her eyes filled with a sadness he couldn’t quite understand. “No, they’re not,” she admitted. “But it’s because... I’m not meant to be here. Not like this.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, his heart tightening at the thought of losing her.

She sighed, her wings fluttering weakly. “I was sent to guide you, Shoto. But the more time I spend here, the more unstable I become. It’s because... I’m not supposed to get too close.”

Shoto’s breath caught in his throat. “Too close?”

Y/N nodded, looking away as if ashamed. “I’m not supposed to feel the way I do. Angels aren’t meant to emotionally attach themselves with the people they watch over. It makes us... vulnerable.”

Shoto stared at her, the weight of her words sinking in. “But what if I feel the same way? What if... I don’t want you to leave?”

She looked at him, her eyes filled with tears. “Shoto, if I stay, I might disappear completely. But if I go, you’ll be alone again.”

“I don’t care,” he said, his voice firm. “I’d rather have you with me, even if it’s just for a little while longer.”

Y/N’s wings flickered, the light from them dimming slightly as she leaned closer to him. “Then I’ll stay,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “For as long as I can.”

As the days turned into weeks, Y/N’s presence became more fragile. Her wings, once vibrant and full of light, now glitched constantly, sometimes fading entirely for moments at a time. But despite this, she stayed by Shoto’s side, guiding him, comforting him, and helping him find strength in himself that he never knew he had.

But the price for her closeness was becoming too much to bear. Her energy was fading, and every day, she grew weaker. Shoto could see it, but he didn’t know how to stop it.

One night, as they stood together under the stars, Y/N’s wings began to glitch so badly that they flickered out entirely, leaving her looking almost human. She gasped, clutching at her chest as if in pain.

“Y/N!” Shoto reached out to her, his heart pounding with fear. “What’s happening?”

“I’m losing my connection,” she said, her voice strained. “If I stay any longer... I might disappear forever.”

He shook his head, panic rising in his chest. “No, you can’t. I need you, Y/N. Please, don’t leave me.”

Tears streamed down her face as she looked at him, her heart breaking. “Shoto, I love you. But if I stay, I’ll be gone forever. I need to go back, to regain my strength. But I promise... I’ll always be with you, even if you can’t see me.”

He stared at her, desperation in his eyes. “But how will I know you’re still there?”

She smiled through her tears, her form flickering like a dying flame. “You’ll feel it, Shoto. In your heart. I’ll always be with you, guiding you from afar. You just have to believe.”

And with that, she began to fade, her body dissolving into the night air, leaving only a soft, glowing light where she had been.

Shoto reached out, trying to grasp the light, but it slipped through his fingers, leaving him alone in the darkness.

Shoto Todoroki stood on the roof of U.A. High, gazing out at the horizon as the first rays of dawn broke through the darkness. It had been weeks since Y/N had disappeared, but he could still feel her presence, a gentle warmth in his heart that hadn’t been there before.

His classmates had stopped whispering, and the rumors about his sanity had faded away. But Shoto knew that Y/N had been real, that her love had been real. And though she was gone, she had left him with a gift—the strength to believe in himself, and the hope that one day, they would be together again.

As he closed his eyes, he felt a soft breeze brush against his cheek, he felt a soft breeze brush against his cheek, as if Y/N's presence was lingering in the air around him. He looked up at the sky, the dawn breaking with hues of pink and gold. The world seemed brighter, more vibrant, and he knew it was because of her.

Shoto had changed. The ice that once encased his heart had thawed, replaced by a warmth he hadn’t felt before. He no longer felt alone, even when he was by himself. Y/N's love had left an imprint on him, one that would guide him through the rest of his life.

As he turned to head back inside, a familiar glimmer caught his eye—a soft, fluttering light that seemed to be dancing on the edge of his vision. He smiled, feeling a sense of peace wash over him.

“I’ll keep believing,” he whispered to the wind. “I’ll keep our promise.”

And so, with Y/N’s love and guidance forever etched into his heart, Shoto Todoroki continued his journey, stronger and more hopeful than ever before. Though the world might never see her, he knew that she would always be with him, a silent guardian in the shadows of his life.

The classroom was quiet, the afternoon light streaming through the windows as the students settled into their seats. Shoto sat at his desk, his gaze distant as he replayed the conversation he’d had with Midoriya the day before.

“Midoriya,” Shoto had asked, his voice low and hesitant. “Have you ever wanted something so badly, but you know it can’t happen? Like… it’s impossible?”

Midoriya had looked up from his notebook, his expression thoughtful. “Yeah, I think everyone’s felt that way at some point. But… have you ever heard of manifestation?”

Shoto frowned. “Manifestation?”

“It’s the idea that if you focus on something hard enough, if you really believe in it, you can bring it into reality. I know it sounds strange, but sometimes, what we think is impossible can become possible if we put enough energy into it.”

Shoto had nodded, filing the idea away in the back of his mind. That night, as he lay in bed, he tried to concentrate on Y/N, her smile, her voice, the way her wings flickered in and out. He willed her to come back, to be real again, with every fiber of his being.

But now, a week later, there had been no sign of her. He was beginning to lose hope, wondering if he’d just imagined everything—if Y/N was truly gone.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden, loud entrance of Kaminari, who burst through the classroom door with his phone in hand, grinning from ear to ear.

“Guys, you’ve gotta check this out!” Kaminari exclaimed, waving his phone around as he approached the group gathered near the front of the room. “There’s this new VR game that just came out, and it’s insane! You can actually talk to angels in it—like, full-on conversations and everything!”

Shoto’s heart skipped a beat. He turned in his seat, watching as Kaminari pulled up the game on his phone, showing the others. On the screen, an angel with glitchy wings floated, her face eerily familiar to Shoto, though he knew it wasn’t exactly her.

“It’s so realistic,” Mina said, leaning in to get a better look. “You can customize everything—their voice, their appearance… It’s like they’re really there with you.”

Kaminari nodded excitedly. “Yeah, and it’s not just that. The angels remember things, like conversations you’ve had before, and they even give advice based on what you tell them. It’s wild!”

As his classmates crowded around Kaminari’s phone, laughing and talking about the game, Shoto felt a strange mix of emotions. Was this the result of his attempts at manifestation? Had he somehow brought Y/N back, but only in a digital form that anyone could access?

The idea left him feeling both hopeful and hollow. She wasn’t truly back, but a part of her seemed to linger in this new, unexpected way. Maybe this was the universe’s answer to his longing, a reminder that even though some things couldn’t happen exactly as he wanted, they could still find a way to exist.

He wasn’t sure what to do with this realization, but as he watched his classmates interact with the virtual angel, Shoto couldn’t help but feel a bittersweet comfort. Perhaps, in some small way, Y/N was still with him—just not in the way he had hoped.

Late that night, Shoto sat in his dimly lit room, the quiet hum of the VR console filling the space. The headset felt heavy in his hands as he hesitated, staring at the screen that prompted him to begin. He knew it wouldn’t truly be her, but the thought of seeing Y/N’s face again, even in a digital form, was enough to make his heart ache with anticipation.

With a deep breath, he slipped the headset over his eyes and powered on the game. The world around him dissolved into a soft glow, and slowly, the environment began to take shape—a serene, ethereal garden, bathed in the light of a setting sun. The colors were warm, golden hues blending with soft greens, and in the center of it all stood the figure he had longed to see.

Y/N was there, her glitchy wings gently fluttering, casting a shimmering light that reflected off the virtual petals around her. She turned to face him, a familiar smile gracing her lips.

“Hello, Shoto,” she greeted, her voice exactly as he remembered—soft, soothing, and filled with warmth. “It’s been a while.”

Shoto’s breath caught in his throat. Even though he knew she wasn’t real, the sight of her, so vivid and alive, made it difficult to hold back his emotions. He took a step closer, his heart pounding in his chest.

“I… I wasn’t sure if this would work,” he confessed, his voice trembling slightly. “But I needed to see you again. Even if it’s just like this.”

Y/N’s smile remained gentle as she tilted her head slightly, her eyes filled with a kindness that seemed to pierce through the digital façade. “I’m here now, Shoto. And I’m glad you found me.”

Shoto swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure. “It’s not the same,” he whispered. “But… it’s better than nothing.”

The angel in front of him nodded, her wings flickering slightly as she moved closer. “I may not be exactly as you remember,” she said, her tone understanding, “but I’m here to help you, just like before.”

Shoto reached out a hand, hesitating just before his fingers could touch her. He knew it would feel cold, artificial—nothing like the warmth he associated with her—but the gesture alone gave him some comfort.

“Can you still… guide me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N’s expression softened, her wings fluttering with a faint glow. “Of course,” she replied, her voice reassuring. “I’ll always be here for you, Shoto. Just like before.”

And as Shoto stood there, bathed in the gentle light of the virtual garden, he allowed himself to believe, just for a moment, that this was real—that she was real. In this world, she could exist again, even if only in pixels and code.

It wasn’t the same as having her by his side in reality, but it was a connection nonetheless—a way to hold onto the part of her that had helped him through his darkest times. And for now, that was enough.

[energievie]

My personal tradition over the past three years has been to answer this set of questions because it was fun to see which answers had changed and which ones stayed the same. This year I'm switching it up, so if you guys - and ANYONE else, for that matter - would like to play, please go ahead ☺️ Blank set of questions under the tag.

Tagging @suzy-queued @gallawitchxx @roryonic @blue-disco-lights @look-i-love-u @theprinceandagcd @sparklepocalypse @sam-loves-seb @lupeloto @wehangout @firenati0n @callivich @ian-galagher @celeritas2997 @alexclrmontdiaz @deathclassic @palepinkgoat @whatthebodygraspsnot @mmmichyyy @deathclassic @em-harlsnow @catgrassplantdad @crossmydna @isabellehemlock @laviejaguardia @sindirimba @notherenewjersey @asamandra @whatthebodygraspsnot @ms-moonlight-inn @transmurderbug @twinklyylights @kiwiana-writes @darlingian @sgtmickeyslaughter @creepkinginc @burninface @jrooc @lingy910y @mybrainismelted and ANYONE else who'd like to play 😎

1. How many words have you written this year?

39,154 (excluding Galladrabbles, WIPs and the story for the Masquerade).

2. How many works did you publish this year?

Including the story for the Masquerade that will get posted by the end of the week, 15.

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Retrograde - a Firstprince AU where they're both immortal and only realise it a century and a half later, when they meet again completely by accident. I just stumbled upon the prompt and I couldn't get it out of my head.

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

Ready for this to be (Firstprince, college AU) - almost 5.7k hits. It probably helps that it was posted back in January 😝

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Waiting for Magic - simply because there's no pairing and I wrote it over 3 years ago for what was supposed to be a collab that eventually fell through. It's for The Old Guard, centred on one character and his alternate origin story and I wasn't expecting anyone to even leave a kudos, let alone comment.

6. Favorite title you used.

Either "Watch out for me" or "With our backs against the world" - can't really decide 😅

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

My go-to has always been Glass Animals but funnily enough, this year there aren't two fics with titles from the same artist 😅

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Firstprince - I'm in a phase 😜

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Yeah, no, not playing favourites. If I write for it, it means I love it.

10. What work was the quickest to write?

A matter of time (The Gentlemen (series), post-canon), my entry for Level Up! Granted, it's only 1.2k words but I remember just breezing through it.

11. What work took you the longest to write?

Probably Swimmin' in my mind (Siena dream) - it's among the longest and it was also part of the Gallavich Gift Exchange, so I paid closer attention to a lot of aspects I normally disregard because I wanted it to be as close to perfect as possible.

12. How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

Four, theoretically, though one of them is just two fragments of dialogue.

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

Swimmin' in my mind (Siena dream), at a whopping 6,649 words 😅

14. What’s your shortest work of the year?

Excluding all Galladrabbles, With our backs against the world, at exactly 900 words.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

Definitely a Firstprince one-shot that's a sort of sequel for the first story I ever wrote for this pairing and which I'm planning to post for the Hey, Sweetheart event.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Getting Together ❤️

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

Henry - he's such a fascinating character, made up of a whole slew of contradictions.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Henry 😅 Despite my ease at slipping into formal and very formal English, his voice felt really intimidating at first and made me second-guess all my sentences and turns of phrase.

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

I don't know, tbh. The Old Guard 2 is coming out, so there's a high chance I revisit my roots (i.e. Book of Nile and Kaysanova) but honestly, anything might draw my attention enough for me to want to write a story.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Retrograde - see above 😁 It's part of the triad (together with a Gallavich story and a TOG one).

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

3,616 🥰

22. Which work has the most comments?

Watch out for me - 23 😁

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

Nope, not this year.

24. Did you write any gifts this year?

Yes - Swimmin' in my mind (Siena dream) was for the Gallavich Gift Exchange.

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

Yup, from the lovely @dynamic-power for the same event ❤️

26. What’s your most common category?

Friends to lovers 😁

27. What do you listen to while writing?

White noise, exclusively.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

How many times can I mention Retrograde without turning into a broken record? 😆

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Mm, this one's so difficult! I'll say... this exchange from And let us fall:

‘How come you've never asked me out?’

Crash. Reboot.

‘I'm sorry?’

‘You should be,’ Alex chuckles somewhat humourlessly. ‘You can't possibly think I'd have said no.’

Suddenly, what's going on here? seems incredibly appropriate.

‘Alex, if this is your idea of a joke–’

‘Not in a million years, sweetheart!’ he murmurs and Henry is too tipsy himself to hold back the gasp and the shudder and the way his suddenly-too-dry throat clicks when he swallows.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

College AUs - hadn't written any before this year and now I find it very hard to stop because I've completely fallen in love 😅

---

How many words have you written this year?

How many works did you publish this year?

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

What work of yours has the most hits?

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Favorite title you used.

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

What work was the quickest to write?

What work took you the longest to write?

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

What’s your longest work of the year?

What’s your shortest work of the year?

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Your favorite character to write this year?

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Which work of yours have you reread the most?

How many kudos in total did you get this year?

Which work has the most comments?

Did you do any collaborative works this year?

Did you write any gifts this year?

Did you receive any gifts this year?

What’s your most common category?

What do you listen to while writing?

Favorite work you wrote this year?

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Biggest surprise while writing this year?

[didoldacc]

(english is not my first language, sorry)

soo, thinking about the demo of tinnitus, imagine them saying the lyrics right in your ear while having sex, the demo is all about sex, I-

I really love your post, love u😿

MDNI!

hehe dw it is not my native language either i just learned it from the internet too. and i am glad that you like my posts it means a lot and also sorry for the late reply the inspo didn't come so i waited 🕴 also studied for midterms(everyone is having their finals and we just started midterms wtf) so i hope it is worth the wait. and i choose taehyun to write the fic since tinnitus is just his song in the album imo. (you did not member specify so picked tyun and he just owns the song) AND THE DEMO HAD ME CHOKING IN SHOCK LIKE I- I MEAN I PREFER THE THE MISERY LYRICS BUT IMAGINE THEY SANG A SONG LIKE THAT- anyways here's the drabble love you too so much

warnings: basically lyrics of tinnitus demo version, dirty talk, slightly dom!taehyun, taehyun is wicked but soft, petnames(baby, pretty), reader having a tiny bit insecurity(not body related don't worry), no one is virgin but it's their first time, manhandling, cunnilingus, no essence of good writing (let me know if there is any that i've missed)

taehyun smiled to your pleas. you had no idea what you were asking for. you kept insisting that he let you listen the demo version of your favorite song. you knew it wasn't going to be innocent since you heard him saying that all the members were shirtless while recording. and the song had that vibe about it even with the sad lyrics they came up with.

taehyun knew better than letting his pretty girl down so he agreed. while he was opening his laptop, you patiently waited. you were so going to make fun of it for the rest of your life, you thought.

after bringing his laptop to the table, he gave you his headset. you gently took it from his hands and positioned the headset to your ears. he gave you a look that implied if he could start playing after you nodded, he started to play the song. it took you while to give a reaction to it and he couldn't wait to witness it. but you were trying your best to keep it cool. it was supposed to be a song about sex, you expected that. yet the whole song straight up felt like dirty talk rather than a song. you just gulped when the song finished. you avoided looking his face and gave a little laughter.

"so this is the demo, huh?" he nodded with disappointment. he was expecting more. his wishes of you being turned into red from embarrassment did not come true. but little did he know that you were struggling to keep your poker face.

you decided to end your stubbornness and blurted out the fact that you wished he had a recording of him singing the demo version and right there you had fallen into his trap. "well, maybe you can hear it in other ways, not necessarily singing." he said while grinning.

---------------------------------------------------

the next thing you know, your naked form was laying in his bed. him not letting go his risus just made you want to hide under the duvet. just when you were going to cover your face with your hands, he stopped you and instead kept your hands above your head.

he leaned towards your ear "baby can't you give it to me right now?" you low-key cringed but couldn't help but get aroused with the action. "pretty, i got no time to waste, give me answer." the minute you whined a yes, you felt his lips devouring yours.

"do what i say, if you want to learn more. is that okay?" you just nod and let him take control. "i wasted enough time with preparing you but you don't look ready for me yet. what a shame. but lucky for you you can sit on my face." your eyes went wider with his demand. you weren't sure about that since it was your first time with taehyun. it was not like neither of you lacked experience but you did not want your first time with him to be an experience where you chased your own pleasure. what if it would make him not want to do it again with you?

your concerns were nonsense in his eyes and he did not hesitate to let you know. he clawed a hold of your hips and positioned you where he wated. "i want you to keep repeating 'want it', is that clear?" you wasted no time to answer.

when he heard your yes, he started to give small kisses to your clit. every time you felt the sensation little whimpers left your mouth. "want it. i want it" you repeated which made taehyun pleased. his tongue knew exactly what to do to make you cry from pleasure. you were about to cum from slight stimulation yet he was going to let you. "just hang in there a little baby, we are not done." he said. but there was no way you could hold it any longer.

you shut your eyes from the pleasure and couldn't open it and put your hands to nearest surface to keep yourself stable. his making out with your pussy got rougher. and all you could do was to curse. "fuck, tae. please baby i can't anymore" you managed to say before your orgasm hit you. his grip on your tights got more stern. and when you came undone he lifted you up. he gave you a warm smile before getting up to kiss you.

"can you return the favor?"

[antiv3nom]

Bedman (Romeo)

omg havent had an excuse to talk abt bedman in a hot minute thank u anon...

favorite thing about them:

i love the tragedy of his story arc... that feels like a weird thing to say but its the first thing that came to mind! just. look. the road to hell paved with good intentions bit taken to the extreme really works here!!! the idea that he remembered the name of every person he ever killed because he was under the impression he could bring them all back, only to have the rug pulled from under him? hurts me! in the best way!!!

other than that i do enjoy his design, both romeo himself and the bed :] i wanna give my bedman cosplay another try sometime for sure, it didnt work out for various reasons but i have most of the components and would enjoy cosplaying him fr in the future

least favorite thing about them:

i think i dont really dislike anything about the way bedman is written in the source material strongly enough to point it out here? i think my main gripe is the way the fandom treats him to either extreme, like theres "bedman did nothing wrong ever" people and "bedman is horrific" people and i wish both camps would chill out and recognize hes like. a complex character? but i do think most people do this already which i can appreciate

favorite line:

im a little obsessed w his win line against may in xrd

"I do not understand humans who are motivated by love. A person is born, lives for a number of years, and interacts with up to eight billion people. What proof is there of something they can't even define?"

bc like. buddy. you dont even realize it. YOURE driven by love. all this shit wasnt just for yourself but it was for delilah too!!! fuck!!! you dont even see it as love you see it as necessary because shes that important to you!!! and dont even get me STARTED on the bed in strive and how its still running because of his last minute code additions which almost act as the last part of his will to protect delilah. GAHHHH

brOTP:

BEDMAN AND AXL INTERACTIONS. PLEASE. PLEASE. their dynamic is so interesting as characters with such fascinating ways of interacting with the world...gah. GAH. and no one fucking talks about it!!!

OTP:

sinbed. must i wlabo.

ok but i will, im not as into them as i was like a year ago but i still do really enjoy their dynamic. sin being such a beacon of hope and being so willing to see people as good contrasted with a post-xrd living bedman (bc all my sinbed stuff exists within au but im having fun out here so sue me) seeing himself as inherently evil due to his actions despite his intentions and believing no one would ever care for him? it hits for me

nOTP:

i dont know of anything off the top of my head that ive seen for him??? nothing prevalent at least.

actually on second thought i think ive seen like one instance of bedman and ram in a romantic sense, and that im not a fan of but i guess i could see the appeal, just not my thing

random headcanon:

this motherfucker would have gotten heated in some internet forums or wiki talk pages, DEDICATED to accuracy out here and he WILL fight you about it

unpopular opinion:

not entirely certain i have one? i think the "bedman while flawed is not actually a terrible person and was doing his best given his extremely fucked up circumstances" is a pretty cool take by this point for most people

i think the only thing i have is that my interpretation of bedman has always been as like a young adult rather than a kid but like i dont really have a concrete opinion on that and i totally understand people who do see him as a kid like its entirely understandable to do so

song i associate with them:

other than his character themes, its GOTTA be dramaturgy by eve, which just. it gives the vibes. read the english lyrics it will make sense i prommy

favorite image of them:

THE EEPER...

OTHER than this one its more an animation but his 6p in xrd is so silly i love it so bad...and for a more serious option his instant kill is really cool

[simpinberry]

¡¡¡Hola!!! Me encanta tu escritura 😍 Me preguntaba si puedo pedir un Bella Ramsey x fem! Reader headcanons donde Bella está celosa, gracias 🤗🤗 Espero que entiendas lo que escribí ya que el inglés no es mi primer idioma

Hello!!! I love your writing 😍 I was wondering if I can order a Bella Ramsey x fem! Reader headcanons where Bella is jealous, thank you 🤗🤗 I hope you understand what I wrote since English is not my first language

guysss heyyy!! sorry i’ve been gone for so long, life has been a bitch recently but i’m back!! here to feed you some very needed fluffy and spicy bella content. i’m trying out a new style of writing and i had a lot of fun with it. I didn’t proof read it at all so my bad for spelling mistakes teehee i’ll fix it later. love youu<33 have a good day gays<3

picture this: You and Bella just got back from the gym. They surprised you by picking you up from class since they had some free time and “missed you”. They were perfectly normal when they saw you at first, leaning against the door frame and waving over at you. You jump up a little in excitement and tell her your just getting your bag and saying goodbye to your friends. When you got back to them, their energy seemed to have changed and you couldn’t understand what could’ve happened in 2 minutes but you decide to brush it off.

You guys grabbed some dinner and snacks from the grocery store and headed home. Bella was unusually quiet on the drive home, only mumbling the lyrics to a few songs and only asked you about your day once. Strange because she usually goes on and on, asking about little details.

You arrive home and bolt to the kitchen to heat up the food because you are truly starving. That class was hard and you were ready to eat. Bella follows you in, placing herself down on a chair at the dining table, blanking out and staring at the ground. You call for her a few times and they don’t answer. You place down the plates on the table and call her again, this time lifting her head with ur index finger.

She stares up at you with big brown puppy eyes and a stubborn pout on their lips. “What’s up my big baby?” you coo at her. She dodges your touch and lets out a whiny hmm. She’s gonna be stubborn about it, of course she is. Letting out a sigh you place yourself down on her lap, straddling her and bringing your arms around their neck. She finally looks up at you and eagerly pulls you into a long, more intense than usual kiss.

“darlin, you wanna tell me what’s going on?” you say pulling away from the heated kiss.

“Uh, it’s just that em, God this is so dumb. Okayy, yk Jenna? From your boxing classes? It’s just like she’s too friendly with you… Like bro relax she’s mine. She’s just too forward and touchy with you, i saw the way they looked at u when you said goodbye” They let out a groan and cover their face.

“Wait a minute, are you…. jealous?” you ask with a smirk.

“No.”

“Bella.”

“Ughhh, whatever. So what if i’m a little jealous okay? ehhh i mean you’re my girlfriend and she’s gotta learn that,” they pause, taking a deep breath. “I just don’t like it okay….makes me feel bad”.

You notice she’s a lot more upset than you expected and realise she just needs your reassurance. To your surprise she pulls your waist into her and wraps her arms fully around you into a tight hug. They’re so cute when they get like this, you think to yourself.

Pulling away from the hug you immediately attack her face with kisses, making sure to get every inch and not miss a single spot. This sends Bella into a cute fit of giggles. Their laugh is genuine music to your ears and you feel proud you’re able to cheer her up a bit. You finish off by trailing their face with longer, softer and delicate kisses.

Once you reach her lips you pull them into a long deep kiss. Bella is an emotional kisser and this kiss was no exception.

This unsurprisingly leads to a makeout session. Bella roaming her hands whenever she pleases in a territorial way while you take turns tugging and playing with their hair. Time doesn’t feel real as you both spill soft and sweet moans into each others mouth. Sooner or later you both gotta pull back for some air though. You finish off the kiss by pulling away slowly, biting her lip softly, letting it bounce back into place. Bella rests her forehead on yours, panting a little.

“i love you, a lot. I’m all yours darling,” you speak up. Bella replies with quick soft nods. “plus if it makes you feel any better, i rlly don’t like jenna, she talks too much about herself”

“iiii love u too ig and i’m all yours too or whatever” she jokes, rolling their eyes.

“wait is that why you picked me up today??” Oh boy let the teasing begin.

hehehehehehe i also think that bella would be incredibly immature and funny when she’s jealous. she’s definitely not the angry or mean jealous that’s for sure but she will stomp her feet and act like a 5 year old.

It’s been a rare warm and sunny day and you’re chilling at bellas house after you guys took her dog out on walk. Their bed is placed against the window and there’s a cooling breeze pushing through the white curtains. You’re sitting on bellas bed with your legs crisscrossed, scrolling through your phone. Bella is sprawled out opposite to you, reading off her kindle.

With a loud sigh, her kindle falls onto their chest and looks up at you. You’re practically glued to your phone and she wants you to be glued to her.

“Babbeeee” they say, using her foot to nudge your stomach. Yet, you pay her no mind and continue scrolling through TikTok.

Suddenly, you let out the most uncontrollable laugh ever, throwing ur head back and hitting it against the bed frame. “owwwwww motherfuckerr,” you yell out in pain.

“That’s what u getttt for ignoring me” she teases.

“Pffttt i wasn’t doing that” you reply.

“Blehhh i wasn’t doing that,” they respond, mocking you. “whatever, what was the video?”

“Ha ha, very funny, it’s just a tiktok mar sent me” you say snarking back.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“No it’s just that i see, you’re ignoring me for some girl, huh, i see how it is. Clearly you don’t love me anymore.” she pouts, crossing her arms and shaking her head.

“Babe that’s not tru-“ you try to plead your case.

“NOOO IIII SEE HOW IT IS. REALLY. THATS FINE.” They shout in an over exaggerated posh British accent.

At this point, you’re done with their shit and decided to go along with this little bit of theirs. Letting yourself fall forward, you plop down next to bella now levelled with her face. For extra effect you decide to straddle her, placing yourself on top of her.

“oh c’mon now don’t be such a baby” you tease causing them to brush deeply.

“um, uhh don’t be such a baby, don’t you have other bitches you need to be texting rn or something??”

“Isabella may ramsey.”

Her eyes widen at the sudden calling of their full name, knowing you only use it when you’re being stern. She locks your legs together, swiftly swinging their body over yours, pining you down.

“oh is that how we’re play it?”

“yes. yes you jealous baby.”

[lalaballa]

I 'm going back to 2009 // notes on Submarine EP

1. Submarine is the debut solo EP by English musician and Arctic Monkeys lead vocalist Alex Turner, released on 14 March 2011 by Domino Recording Company. It was written by Turner in 2009, on an acoustic guitar, at his New York City home. (Wiki)

2. Alex Turner on Piledriver Waltz:

This one is on the Submarine soundtrack although I didn’t write it specifically for that. I had a couple of things lying around that were too quiet to be Monkeys tunes – well, that’s what I thought, anyway. (NME 26/04/2011)

3. Piledriver Waltz laments a break up, in Humbug moody vibes (ok the whole Submarine EP is moody)

"I heard the piledriver waltz, it woke me up this morning"

I wonder what the piledriver waltz means, is it sex? certain sex pose? noisy machine? chaotic sound? aching heart? painful wrestling move? rhythmic snoring?(😆)

"You look like you've been for breakfast at the heartbreak hotel"

And the recurring theme of hotel/hotel room in his lyrics. Maybe...a place for the real him, a refuge? (~ The Room of Requirement was a secret room within Hogwarts Castle, that only appeared when a person was in great need of it. The room had the unique ability to provide or transform itself into anything that a witch or wizard required of it at that moment in time - Harry Potter wiki)

"Mysteries flashing amber go green when you answer"??

Traffic lights? Or this could somehow relate to "Eyes the colour of water left in mud icing sugar dust crazy green flashes"??

4. Kudos to those beautiful sad songs written after TAOTU/Humbug (and especially Hiding Tonight 🥺)

cr: 1. u/galligio(reddit), 2. Mindgeist(DeviantArt), 4. YourFakePlasticLove (DeviantArt), 5.sticker(tee public), 6.sticker(bleedesigns)

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

‘Don’t Say Goodbye’

Misaki Unasaka doesn’t seem to have many fans from the fandom.

There was a particular post criticizing her reappearance saying Misaki only wanted to take Miri back b/c she didn’t want to have regrets on her death bed. But of course! Don’t dying people have a fervent wish to rectify their mistakes if they could? If only they would have that opportunity, the ones who they left behind would be more accepting of their loss.

No dying person grieves for his death. He mourns only what he didn’t do. Why did I wait? Why did I not…? Why did I neglect to…? (Rumi)

“Don’t Say Goodbye” is, without a doubt, her theme. On episode 3, the piano accompaniment of the song she was singing when K first saw her was playing during her heated conversation with Kazuki. It became turbulent, full of anguish and regret. She had intrusive thoughts, true, but she never acted on them. Until she sent Miri away, which was clearly a child neglect.

On episode 10, it was again playing the moment she showed determination to get Miri back. Faced with the possibility of a second chance with Miri she was cunning enough to lay out the cards to make Kazuki and Rei to give up the custody.

You can hear again her theme song when she was dying in Kazuki’s arms asking him to take care of her daughter (episode 11). This time with vocals singing in English.

No one to talk with /Just all by myself

No one can save me/Just all by myself

But suddenly everything has changed and then I met you

The truth inside of me/My reason to live

I'm saving my love for you/Even a thousand miles can't keep us apart

Don't say good bye/ Don't say good bye

I wanna spend as much time as possible with you

I wanna feel and touch your smile/But are there just dreams?

I'm saving my love for you/Because my heart is wherever you are

Don't say good bye/Don't say good bye

Oh, so l'm takin' this chance to sing

Don't say good bye

Can't let this moment end

But now we have to move on

Don't cry/Don't look back

And, Don't even remember my name...

(Source: Buddy Daddies blu-ray inlay card)

As she was about to expire, Kyutaro kneeled down so she could touch Miri’s face for the last time, the first two lines and the last four lines could be heard playing with the ending “Don’t cry. Don’t look back. Don’t even remember my name...”

The lyrics bear sadness and loneliness until one person came into her life, which we could all surmise as her daughter Miri and her second chance to be with her. But Misaki felt the weight of the words as she sang the truth because it was for nil.

[thedawningofthehour]

<33 Thank u for all the wicked references, Fai, I flexed some of them afterwards

oh YES AIGHt the movie was an experience.

(We were watching it in German, but all the songs were in OG English with German subtitles. Characters were switching voice-actor mid-sentence, sometimes multiple times, while they talk between lyrics.)

It was also trippy af, because the song‘s German subtitles had NOTHING to do with the actual English text the characters were singing. It was like, an entirely different narrative going on in the bottom half of the screen.

During the opening scene, where the entire village sings how happy they are that the witch is dead and how they won’t cry for her, my date reacted, very loudly like: “Oh, she was their healthcare CEO“ And at the end of the song he was leaning to me whispering something like: “Bet that scene was for that CEO they shot in the US“

(It’s ok, its all good, he has big abs)

I noticed that the characters were using the wrong grammar ??? and I was like (whispering): “Am I having a seizure, or do they use gibberish words?“ and someone next to us was like “That‘s British english“

(This makes it sound like there‘s a lot of talking in German movie theaters. That is true, we talk exclusively in there)

The movie is also insanely gay?? Like more than I thought

Like at the end, when the wizard offers Elphaba a place in his castle, he says: “Oh yeah, and your girlfriend can also stay“ and Idk whatever what was happening in the bottom half of the screen for most of the time, but the subtitle translator was shipping them so hard

I loved it, 10/10 experience, defying gravity slapped so hard, the goat was precious!

I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT AND HAD A GOOD DATE. I HOPE YOU GOT THE LEVEL OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY YOU WERE EXPECTING.

Also, lmao, yeah that was basically us in the US. They're trying so hard to set him up as a dangerous terrorist while literally everyone is donning Luigi hats and going "why stop at one?" The bourgeoise should really be listening to us instead of doubling down on their bullshit, because they were just shown that we're getting to the point where they either change their shit or we break out the guillotines, and so far it looks like they're choosing guillotines.

Oh, I didn't even think about this, but the movie utilizes a lot of 'Ozian' language. It's kind of a linguistic quirk, they tend to Big Mama-fy a lot of words and make it very superfluous and silly. I imagine that's hard to get through translation.

I loved Jeff Goldblum as the Wizard, like he meets them and is immediately like "well I have two gay daughters now." He played the role very differently from a lot of Wizards I've seen, but I think he did wonderfully. (no pun intended) He was kind and dadly in a disarming way, which I think is very important for the character. He's conniving and self-serving, yes, but Madame Morrible is the real manipulator. The Wizard' is charismatic and good at presenting himself the way he wants to be seen, and he's smart enough to know what will serve him in each situation.

Soup I wasn't lying when I said this movie was everyone's gay awakening in the 2000s.

[heizelnutlatte]

📰 JTBC: ONF's Persistence "We Offer a Charm That's Different from the Trend"

Persistence has paid off.

ONF has recently concluded their domestic activities for their eighth mini album, 'BEAUTIFUL SHADOW'.

Now in their eighth year, all members of ONF have completed their military service. True to their nickname as a "home of great songs," their new song has ignited the hearts of K-pop fans. Their recent release, 'Bye My Monster', earned them a first place on SBS 'The Show', marking a significant achievement. Their sincere tear-filled acceptance speech, coupled with their stable encore live performances, sparked a lot of discussions.

Fueled by enthusiasm, they appeared on Mnet's 'M Countdown' on the 25th, even after concluding two weeks of official activities. They are now set to continue their performances in Japan and North America. Only showcasing the true taste of K-pop remains.

The robustness of ONF is proven by 'Bye My Monster', composed by ONF’s producer 'Hwang Hyun'. The song, a pop dance with a classical ambience and a strong band sound, incorporates the theme from Rachmaninoff's Symphony No. 2 Movement 3, adding a majestic touch.

This album shines with the persistence that ONF has consistently shown. Filled with ONF's unique sense of longing and nostalgia, it has been praised as the epitome of K-pop. In a K-pop market aimed at short-form content, where songs typically last less than three minutes, ONF has released a 3-minute 27-second song with a clear beginning, middle, and end.

Their choice of '안녕' (hello/goodbye) over a simple 'goodbye' evokes nostalgia. Unlike contemporary K-pop that predominantly features English lyrics, this song has fewer than five lines in English, reminding listeners of an older K-pop vibe. Listeners have described it as 'a song that perfectly mixes classical music and K-pop in three minutes,' 'this team has always done traditional K-pop,' and 'it's like eating homemade food after fast food.'

The members of ONF confidently stated through their agency, "While embracing a feel from past generations, we felt a grand charm that’s different from current trends. Our team's killing point is our vocals."

Recent music show wins and tearful speeches have touched fans and the public alike. What were your feelings that day and any further comments you’d like to make?

Hyojin: "I had a lot of thoughts and emotions. I really want to thank everyone who loved our song. I've seen many supportive messages and heard a lot from not just fans but also others who support us. Hearing all that, I’m motivated to work even harder and offer better songs to more people. Please look forward to ONF's future. Thanks once again."

E-Tion: "It was my first time receiving an award in front of fans, which made it even more memorable. I was moved by the fans’ love and shed tears."

The response to 'Bye My Monster' is heating up. What do you think is the highlight of this song? Additionally, what are some unique strengths of ONF’s music or the team itself?

Seungjun: "The killing point of this song, I think, is the overwhelming emotion it evokes. When I first heard it, it touched my heart, carrying a charm that spans all generations, unlike today’s trends. Also, the unique characteristics and abilities of each ONF member blend well, enabling this expression."

Wyatt: "I think our team’s vocal and powerful high notes are the killing points. Thankfully, many have said our music is trustable. True to our group's name, showing distinctly different sides on and off the stage is a strength of ONF."

Now that the military hiatus is over, active participation is expected. How do you feel about the recent album activities ending? Any plans and goals for the future?

Minkyun: "It was a fun time showing a new side of ourselves, although it ended too quickly. We will be touring in Japan and North America. We’re also preparing diligently for the next album."

U: "Concerts and album activities have been fun times spent with fans. Many listened to our songs and supported us with love, allowing us to conclude our activities well. We plan to be active in Japan and later in North America this summer. Since we couldn’t meet fans during our military hiatus, we aim to meet them frequently starting this year. Meeting many of our fans, Fuse, is our goal this year."

Can you recommend a hidden gem song from ONF’s discography?

Hyojin: "From our sixth mini album 'Goosebumps', I’d recommend the track 'Alarm'. I personally love this song. We released this album just before enlisting, so we couldn't promote it much and perform as much as we wanted. It’s a really good song, so please give it a listen."

E-Tion: "From our recent eighth mini album 'BEAUTIFUL SHADOW', I recommend 'Slave To The Rhythm'. It offers a different sentiment from our title song 'Bye My Monster'."

Seungjun: "From our third mini album 'WE MUST LOVE', I recommend the track 'Yayaya'. It’s a song I suggest listening to when you’re facing tough times or want to break out of the mould. I hope the fun lyrics will lighten your mood."

Wyatt: "After our concert, a track from our special album 'Storage of ONF', 'My Song', feels like a hidden gem. It’s as if you’re watching a scene from a Disney movie. I’d recommend it."

Minkyun: "From our debut album 'ON/OFF', I recommend 'If We Dream'. It’s a song that can help you fall asleep if you’re having trouble sleeping. It’s dreamy and allows you to further appreciate the charm of our voices."

U: "From our summer popup album 'POPPING', I recommend 'Summer End'. As the title suggests, it perfectly matches the end of summer. It’s comfortable to listen to anytime and provides healing with each listen."

ONF - Bye My Monster (Beautiful Shadow), 2024