#i had to keep hyping myself up and reminding myself that he’s drunk so it doesn’t have to be incredibly formal

[grunklefordpines]

Wow, drunk ford! Never thought I’d see that after your “karaoke” night. People say “drunk words sober thoughts”, so what are your thoughts on Calypso, and did you and Bill ever actually date? (Am I asking this cause I wanna hear ford drunkenly gush and rant? Yes.)

(due to everything going on during the Christmas Party, I didn’t get the chance to get to my inbox!

But, now that I have the opportunity, I will begin to answer questions that were directed to Ford while he was intoxicated.. “translated” text will be in the tags)

Wwise words! (mumble mumble)..Ssober tthoughtss…..I nneed t’ write—tthat down…

Callie?..Haha…II rreally enjjoy hher company….hher ppresence is…Wwith jjust a word, oor a llook..II’m weak! Haha!

Ssshe iss..llike an angel—Jjust the...Tth—the Sweetest. Jjust the best ddate..I’mm gglad she llet me bring hher…

—But. Bbill? Ggod, ddon’t get—mme sstarted.

Wwe..nnever rreally put..a llabel on itt…Sspent a llot of ttime together..kkaraoke..mmaybe shhared a mmoment or ttwo..Bbut he betrayedd—hhe used me—Thhrew oour rellationshhip—whatever—awayy. Nnone of it mmatters anymmore.

Hhis loss.

II’m ddone—ttalkin’ aabout it.

[valence-gnome-bandit]

every god needs an imp chapter 2!

notes: I'm so hyped for this fic!

summary: homelander hunts down his new pet magician.

Six later days Homelander was walking out of an investors meeting that he didn't understand a word of when he spotted Ashley meekly trying to get his attention by following him half tripping over the slightly to high heels she was wearing clipboard in hand. "Homelander! Homelander, hi." Ashley smiled at him as she stood next to him finally.

"yes?" he sighed, drained from talk of quarterly spending and debates about whether or not the vought for women TV channel was worth it anymore.

"So, the final member of the seven!" her smile dropped corners of her mouth nervously twitching. "she's not answering our calls, texts or emails..."

Homelander stared at her lips, parted slightly in a combination of apathy and annoyance he couldn't quite process at the moment. "seriously? you can't get this D list snooki knock off to answer an email? good job Ashley Christ it's like you're somehow trying to make my life hell." he slipped his hands over his face and through his hair before clenching them exhaling dramatically through his nose between glaring at an intern who nearly ran into him.

"you know what, fuck it. I don't need to do a commercial for the Homelander edition sneakers I'm taking care of this myself the seven is my team and clearly everyone here is fucking incompetent." he turned away from Ashley before she could reply storming straight into the elevator.

The MGM Grand was, well, grand. Homelander landed in the parking lot, paying not a single lick of attention to the people who stared at him as he walked through the hollow chest of the lion. It reminded him of the sphinx, a monument to hedonism and a display of wealth but an omen of doom for marriages and wallets. One day, one day soon, they would build things like this to him paragons to the god that is homelander.

walking into the lobby he payed no mind to the marble floors and decor he didn't care he'd seen more impressive things at vought land, instead he made a beeline to the casino area figuring it was before sunset his little magician was probably out entertaining drunk floridians who thought that Vegas was the pinnacle of entertainment. The gaudy carpet made him dizzy instantly, bright lights, endless sounds of mud people chattering, music playing, and the reek of alcohol was overloading his super senses in seconds. It felt like he was 16 in a crowd of investors that poked and prodded at him laughing hot disgusting whiskey breath into his face as tears welled in his eyes. but now he was 41 and couldn't take off miles away he had to face it, he's a god it should be easy. should be.

He wandered through the maze of beeping machines and the drunken heathens who banged away at them hoping for their money back for what felt like years before finally reaching the bar. sitting down for a second he spotted a small crowd surrounding a small stage where he could see faint glows of purple spill out highlighting the edges of the onlookers turning them all into silhouettes. His feet moved automatically to the area peering over the heads of tipsy men who cheered at the figure standing in front of a table doing complex card tricks even he couldn't keep up with.

Eyes flicked from soft hands to the magician, Eccentrica, as she stood up to her full height. It was like a spotlight snapped on revealing eccentrica magica in all her glory. covered complex spirals of purple metal that matched her glowing irises hugging her body so tight that her silhouette looked naked. The armor mimicked a suit with coat tails and a collar like a blazer that opened up to her chest in a V to her cleavage. That manic smile was wide and sharp framed by red heart shaped lips, round face framed by a cloud of curly brown hair, the top of her head covered by a top hat that matched the armor. her skin was pale, soft despite being bulletproof only further display that she was the cream of the crop even if the crop she came from was Walmart brand. Despite this homelander was amused by her, she was good at her job he observed as she took tips from one far too drunk man slipping her a 100$ in twenties that she didn't care to correct him on. plus, she was nice to look at; thick thighs, his height, not too fat but still plump giving something to really grab, and on top off all of that big boobs which was a deal sealer for him.

“hmm.” she was looking down as she approached him standing in front of him inches away hands on hips, she clicked her high heels together so she was standing perfectly straight. “Vought really wants me back so badly that they sent their top show dog eh?” tilting her head up she looked up at him from just under the brim of her top hat glowing eyes piercing into his soul making his bones feel cold.

“I'm not a show dog, I'm running the show. I'm here because we're giving you the opportunity to join the seven. We would very much appreciate your help, you have a strong fanbase and your talented you've convinced me that your worthy of joining the seven.” homelander tucked his arms behind him neatly speaking slowly and confidently, eyes still locked with Eccentrica’s.

Eccentrica let out a curt chirp of a laugh as she took her top hat off shaking her hair a bit, “that's what you think, you're a show dog that's why you're so darn pretty. Also why on earth would I become a hero?” she cocked her head, the glow in her eyes dimming the longer she went without using her powers. She was like some kind of bunny, the kind you pull out of a hat: unexpected, fluffy, and dramatic.

Homelander didn't respond to her instant compliments, that's one thing he had to give her; she was charismatic. “Don't you want to serve your country? Plus the pay is good, you get your own penthouse, and… well the best part you get to be even more famous, fame far beyond your little notion of daytime TV fame.” Giving her a good ol 'corporate smile he offered her his left hand. “Come on eccentrica, what have you got to lose?”

She stared at him, eyes flicking between his hand and face for a moment. “My dignity. I may be famous for kissing women and doing cocaine on live TV but I'm not insane.” She walked past him, she walked straight past him not even bothering to move all the way past him, her left arm hitting his. Then she sat at the bar and ordered a cherry Pepsi.

Who the fuck did she think she was?

thank you for reading <3

[perksofbeingamaineiac]

July 20, 2023

My Nonno has his surgery today.

______

Things have been weird at work since I got back. I mean they have been weird for a while now, with some exceptions.

We had an event this weekend that I thought went well, although I could agree that we needed to work harder and be more engaging. Thought it went well, got back to work Monday and sounded like some people thought it was terrible. I am glad we are looking for solutions, but I don't think we should have been made to feel the way we did.

I found something in the printer I shouldn't have. People are keeping secrets, although I know the biggest one. It makes me pull away as a friend more and more. I feel like I'm being conspired against. It's no longer I secret I want to keep because I feel like I am going to be done dirty in the end. I can hope not. I can hope wen the secret comes out, and people know I know, it won't bite me in the ass.

______

Things with Braeden seem to be going well. Even though the sex is vanilla, I am turned on and it feels great. I don't feel gross after or like I regret doing it.

We were at dinner the other day and he made a comment about how I am mean to my mom, and it made me anxious. I feel like the dinner went downhill from there, but was fine once we got back to his house. I feel like maybe I just got in my head. He wasn't wrong with what he was saying. I was just worried he found me less attractive because of it.

I deleted hinge. After our date this weekend, i want to focus on us and it's not like I was using it anyways. He came to stay with me for my work event. We went to dinner and then he joined the work gang for drinks. He did really well and he got along with everyone. I'm kinda happy I have someone outside of work to talk about it all with. He's met the, he gets it a little more now. He slept over, we had drunk sex, I got the sex I haven't had in years and am still sore, but I enjoyed it in the moment.

It was also the first time I was so drunk I had black out spells. I don't remember certain things. Which is scary, but I remember the important parts, like enjoying myself. I don't remember showering after, but had a feeling we did.

______

I've been to the gym twice this week. Monday felt horrible, and then yesterday felt a little better, but my strength is still down and everything feels hard. I took my time and also did cardio.

Both of them were at the gym yesterday. Alex walked right by me and realized after, came up to me, gave me a hug, told me about his weekend and then asked me about where I have been. He asked me about he Indy. I finished up working and as I was stretching Ethan walked in, I don't know if he saw me or not, but he went to do his own thing. With Ethan I am curious how our last interaction will move forward. I also need someone to motivate me at the gym, if I just made a hype buddy that would be great. A small piece of me wants him to admit he tried messaging me on Bumble after we talked and he couldn't find me. Where that would go? I don't know. Like I said, I am focusing on B.

I don't see things escalating with Alex either. I don't feel like shit talking to him anymore. I didn't get the anxiety that has been associated with it. Next time I get anxious going to the gym, I need to remind myself it will be fine. I do really want to go to the gym tonight, but my boss and I are going to our bosses place to clean out the trailer and then go to the car show he hosts. Yes, I am finally going, yes it's only because I have someone to go with.

[berryfairyluvr]

dating (ooc) rafe cameron

a/n: hello! so for this lil ramble rafe is not a murderer nor is he crazy.

what to expect: kook golden boy rafe, charming, a lil bit cocky and unbelievably loyal to his friends and family

high school bestie rafe has always had a crush on you

almost always has his hand in the back pocket of your shorts when you two are out together

“ pretty girl ”

swears he can’t fall asleep without you

puts his baseball caps on you knowing he’ll never get them back

let’s you drive the truck only around tanneyhill’s driveway

is bffs with your family’s dog

has an album of you in his camera roll (and your dog)

keeps hair ties on his wrist for you

sunday brunch with the family

no one holds your drink but him

raps to slim shady while driving and dedicates it to you (every time)

date nights on the yacht

begs to lie in your lap while you draw circles on his back when he’s upset

“ you’re so tiny ” “ rafe, you’re 6'3 ”

drunk rafe = overly affectionate rafe

likes to watch you get ready, he finds it therapeutic

brings flowers for your mom/guardian whenever he picks you up from your house

“ i think you forgot something ” kisses when you first see him are mandatory

“ you’re so pretty ”

hypes up your posts by commenting like a valley girl 'OMG u look so smokin girl! #whatababe'

sends tiktoks of puppies

long stares at you when he thinks you’re not watching

looks for you in the stands at his swim meets and makes :3 when he sees you

he keeps his hand on your thigh when he’s driving

anytime you get the teeniest bit dressed up he’s looking at you with the biggest heart eyes in the world

he compliments you constantly but won’t take any thanks as he says “ reminding you your special has become as easy as breathing pretty girl, so please don’t thank me for breathing ”

sleepy rafe just wants to hold you and sit in silence

you're the first one he wants to see when he's upset

you're always wearing corresponding outfits when you go to grand events

he knows your closet like the back of his hand

counts your freckles when you're lying down together

his feet hang off the end of your bed when he's in it because he's so tall but that doesn't stop him from sleeping with you

" call me crazy but i swear god sent you to me to save me from myself "

" miss world "

when he's bored he's doing whatever he can to get a reaction out of you (80% of the time it's dirty and he's horny)

when you're tired he instantly picks up on it and has you lay on him to fall asleep

one minute you’re fighting and the next he’s grabbing your face and making out with you

your flaws are pure perfections in his eyes

" you should carry my babies " " rafe cameron i swear to- "

a/n: since i’m taking soo long to actually get any blurbs out i’m leaving y’all with this <3 let me know what you think!

[storiesforallfandoms]

talent that runs in the family ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2128

request?: yes!

“Being rooks sister and substitute him while he recovers and slowly start to fall in love with colson”

description: she steps in to replace her brother when he is seriously injured and ends up gaining feelings for his friend

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“Thanks so much for doing this (Y/N),” Rook said over the phone. “I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, no problem,” I said. “But does Colson know that I’m...y’know...not a seasoned vet?”

“You’ll do fine.”

I refrained from reminding him that he didn’t actually answer my question.

After Rook’s accident left him out of commission for some time, he came to me to ask if I’d fill in for him. I jumped at the opportunity. Rook had taught me how to drum when I was young and, much like my big brother, it became a passion of mine. How could I turn down working with one of the biggest artists of the year, even if it were just for a short while?

Well, my nerves were definitely telling me I should’ve said no as I walked into soundcheck that day.

“Whatever,” I said. “I’ll call you after the soundcheck.”

“Hey, don’t be nervous. You’re gonna do great.”

I said my goodbyes and hung up. I tried not to focus on how big the venue we were playing in was as I made my way to the otherwise empty stage. I thought I was the first person to arrive until I heard someone calling my name.

“(Y/N), up here!”

I looked up to see the guys sat in a booth in the balcony. Colson was all but leaning over the railing, waving for me to join them. I had no idea how to get up there on my own, but luckily a security guard showed me the way.

The guys were eating pizza and drinking from plastic cups as if they were the ones attending the concert and not performing in it.

“Pre-show ritual,” Colson told me. “Especially when we have someone new joining the band. Sit! Have a slice!”

“Shouldn’t we be practicing?” I asked, but still sat with them. I didn’t want to completely mess up my first day.

“We have hours to practice,” one of the other guys I remembered as Slim said. “And we don’t really need to. We do this every night. A soundcheck is basically just to make sure everything is working tech wise.”

I just nodded, not wanting to point out that I hadn’t been doing this every night. I hoped that I’d have some time to figure out the songs before the shows.

Colson nudged me, bringing my attention to him. “Don’t stress. You’ll do great.”

I smiled at him, wishing I’d believe him.

After our small feast of pizza and beer in plastic glasses, we finally got to our soundcheck. I was so nervous that I kept messing up during the first song. My hands were shaking and I kept hitting the wrong drum by accident. My face was burning with embarrassment as I buried it in my hands and groaned.

Colson walked up to me, a sympathetic smile on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I can get this, I know I can.”

“I know you can, too,” he said. “Just take a breath, relax. We’ll try again when you’re ready. And remember, it’s just drumming. Rook says you’re great at it.”

I smiled at him and nodded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I pictured myself back in my bedroom from my childhood, playing my drums super loud until my parents had to call out for me to keep it down.

When we started practicing again, it went off without a hitch. We did most of the setlist all the way through and did quick takes on the last few songs before our time was up.

I was proud of myself as the soundcheck came to an end. I was still nervous about performing during the actual show, but I felt confident enough in myself not to make too many noticeable mistakes when we actually had an audience that night.

I was walking to my car when I heard someone calling for me. I turned to see Colson running to catch up with me. Or rather he was taking long strides to catch up with me considering he was so tall.

“I told you you would do great!” he said, putting an arm around my shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. “It’s like drumming runs in your blood or something.”

I chuckled. “That’s what mom and dad always said too, but neither one of them can keep a beat to save their lives and no one else in our immediate family plays either.”

“You and Rook are the start of a long line of drummers then I guess.”

I shrugged in response. We both stood awkwardly for a moment. I wasn’t sure what else to say. His arm was still around my shoulder and I didn’t want to pull away and make it seem like I didn’t enjoy the contact because I definitely was not complaining about it.

I guess Colson also realized that he was still touching me, though, because he pulled his arm away and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

“Do you need a run to the hotel or anything?” he asked. “We have the tour bus.”

I shook my head. “I’m good, thanks. I have my car, and besides I haven’t even checked into the hotel yet so I should probably go do that.”

“Oh, yeah you definitely should. Get some rest before the show, too. It’s a lot more physically demanding when it’s an actual show, even if you’re just sitting at a drum set the entire time. I’ll see you tonight then I guess.” He turned to walk away, but paused and turned back to add, “What were you planning on wearing tonight?”

I looked at him, confused. “Uh...this I guess.”

I was wearing a hoodie and a pair baggy jeans and my most comfortable pair of sneakers.

Colson raised an eyebrow at my outfit before looking back up at me. “I mean, it’s definitely comfy, but I would recommend something a little less...well, just less. It’s going to be hot as fuck on that stage, especially with all the lights on you and shit.”

I nodded, taking note of this as I got into my car and internally panicked a little because I didn’t know if I even had anything to wear.

~~~~~~

A few hours later, after checking into my hotel room and promptly wrecking it by throwing my clothes everywhere, I was heading back down to the lobby to meet up with the guys. We were going to the show together, which would’ve been my first tour bus ride. I couldn’t lie, I was super stoked for it.

I was the last one to the lobby. All the guys were stood around, loudly talking to one another. You’d think they were just a normal group of guys and not a group about to play a sold out show in a massive arena.

Colson spotted me first. I smiled at waved at him. His eyes widened and his jaw basically dropped, which prompted all the guys to turn. Their reactions immediately matched his as they looked me up and down.

“Rook would kill you guys if he could see you right now,” I teased.

“Damn (Y/N),” Colson dared to say first. “You look...you look hot as fuck.”

I had decided on a loose muscle shirt with a bralette underneath since the shirt showed a little more than what I was used to, a pair of ripped skinny jeans, and kept on the comfortable sneakers I had been wearing earlier that day.

I giggled. “Thanks, but again, Rook would kill you for saying that. Also, it’s not anything super attractive.”

“You got a nice body,” Baze pointed out. “Anything showing it off even a little is hot.”

I could feel my face burning as I waved their comments away. “Okay, enough with this. We have a show to get to.”

We boarded the tour bus and started towards the arena. The guys were distracted amongst one another again, completely forgetting about me and my “hot outfit”. Besides Colson, who had come to sit next to me on the couch while the rest of the guys were already drinking whatever was in the mini fridge.

“Do you guys always get drunk before your shows?” I asked.

“Not always. Usually we get high,” Colson responded.

“Now that I can get behind. I’ll probably be less afraid if I’m high.”

Colson held out the joint in his hand to me. I took it and took a quick puff, the smoke immediately burning my throat and lungs as I tried to inhale it. Colson laughed as I started to cough.

“I still say you have nothing to worry about,” he told me. “You’re gonna do great tonight. You can’t even really see or hear the audience with all the lights and the inner ear pieces.”

“That’s even worse cause then I’ll just imagine how big the audience is.”

He put a hand on my leg, something I assume was just instinct for him to do to comfort someone, but the minute he made the contact I felt a jolt of electricity run through me. Colson quickly pulled his hand away and I wondered if he had felt that too.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that without asking,” he said.

“You can if you want,” I assured him. “I wasn’t mad about it or anything.”

Colson looked at me and I realized how blue his eyes were. Rook had always made jokes about how Colson could seduce any woman with just his eyes because they were such baby blues, but I didn’t really believe him until the moment I was looking in them myself. Now I was lost, completely forgetting everyone around me as I felt myself moving closer towards him.

The bus jerked to a stop, causing Colson and I to nearly be thrown from our seats. The guys started off the bus first, running towards the entrance to the arena as I could hear the waiting fans screaming outside.

Colson stood and offered a hand to me. “It’s showtime.”

~~~~~~

After the first song went perfectly, I stopped feeling nervous. Colson was right, I couldn’t see the audience in front of me, but I could faintly hear their screams of excitement over my inner ear piece. It was weird to have it in and not only hear all of us playing, but also the crew talking backstage. It was almost distracting, but it became easy to tune them out.

During one of Colson’s talking points in the show, I reached for my water bottle to take a sip. Colson was hyping the audience up, which made me smile a little.

“Before we continue the show,” he said into his mic, “you guys may have noticed that we do not have our regular drummer tonight.”

I immediately knew what he was about to do and I wanted to hurtle my drumstick at him before he went there.

“As you’ve probably heard, Rook was in a bit of an accident and is off recovering for the time being,” he continued. “So, we decided to get some family to fill in for him for the time being. Everyone, I want to hear y’all make some noise for Rook’s little sister, (Y/N)!”

The crowd cheered loudly. Colson turned to me and waved for me to stand. I glared at him, which I hoped he could see, before standing and awkwardly smiling and waving at the audience.

“All the cool drum shit you guys have been hearing all night has been (Y/N),” Colson said as he started to approach me. “She’s a bad ass fucking drummer, and she’s a pretty fucking cool chick, too.”

I was confused where he was going with this as he came to stand next to me, slinging an arm around my shoulder the way he had earlier that day after soundcheck.

“Which is why, (Y/N), I gotta ask: will you go on a date with me sometime?”

Slight embarrassment was swelling somewhere inside of me at being asked out in such a public way, but that embarrassment was overshadowed by the fuzzy feeling of excitement inside of me. I looked up at Colson, my eyes wide and a smile on my lips.

 He lowered the mic so he could privately add, “I’m being serious. I wanna take you out on a real date. Just the two of us.”

My words were stuck in my throat, but I was able to nod in response. The smile on Colson’s face stretched so wide that I could’ve been convinced he was the one lighting the show.

“Okay,” he said, then lifted the mic to say to his audience, “Let’s get back to the show guys!”

[broadstbroskis]

the wedding date | morgan rielly

a/n: well first things first, i’m gonna give a shoutout to myself, because i started this fucking thing back in august and it’s finally completed (that’s right, it took me 7 months to write just under 5k, shhh, it finally came together). 

anyway, since i started this back in august, you can tell i’ve had this idea for a while. it’s morphed and changed a bit but the basic premise has stayed the same- you go home with morgan for a wedding and everyone thinks that you’re the girl he’s been dating for the last few years- so i hope you all enjoy! (also i’m sorry i suck at titles but like i’m not)

a special shoutout to these lovely people who have listened to me whine about this at any point over the last SEVEN MONTHS and some fellow mo lovers because you’re all amazing and i love you, @denis-scorianov, @brockadoodles, @danglesnipecelly, @laurenairay, @hockeyboysiguess

-----

When Morgan approaches you, with what you’ll later learn is only his first attempt to ask you something, you don’t even give him the chance, really. “Hey, what are you doing this summer?”

“Not you.” You quip back, grinning cheekily, ignoring the barks of laughter from Matthews and Marner beside him.

“Haha.” Morgan deadpans, but it’s busy that night at the bar, Saturday night after a Leafs win, and you’ve really got to get back to work now that you’ve finished serving them, so you’re already walking away from him.

The second time it happens is a Friday night, a few weeks later, when you’re out with some friends for the first time all semester. It’s late enough that you’re feeling just on the right side of tipsy, you’re drunk enough that you know you’re going to go home with the guy you shouldn’t, and you’re okay with both of those things. 

At least, tonight you are. Tomorrow morning will be a different story.

And then, Morgan stops you at the bar. “Hey.”

“Hey!” You grin back...and then it slowly fades as he just hems and haws. “What’s up?”

“I-” He blows out a frustrated groan.

Your eyebrows raise. You’ve known Morgan for years now, since his first season with Leafs had been right about when you started working at the bar for some extra cash after realizing just how expensive school was getting and grad school would be beyond that. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen him at such a loss for words. “Alright, well if you can’t think of it now, get back to me later, okay?”

“Wait-” He says, so you give him a minute or two, but there’s still nothing.

“Ok, I love you, but this is my one night out before my dissertation is due later this spring.” You tell him, reaching out for a hug. “You have my number and you know where to find me.”

“Ok.” Morgan smiles a little. “Have fun tonight.” And then you slink away from him, back in the direction of your friends, ready to let loose one last time before the craziness sets in.

The night that Morgan finally gets his question out is a quiet one in the middle of the week. He settles himself into the corner, doing his best to be discrete with a hat covering his face. By the time you and your coworker get everyone settled with drinks and you make your way over to him, he’s caught the attention of one older man, who immediately walks back to his girlfriend when you arrive at Morgan’s section of the bar.

“Well finally.” He’s free of all teammates, a rarity but not unheard of, especially this late in the season. “What’s a guy gotta do to get some service around here?”

“Oh sorry!” You tease. “Did I interrupt something here? Did you want me to call that guy back up so you guys could finish up?”

He flattens you with a look. “Don’t you dare.”

You giggle, leaning down against the bar in front of him. You know how much he loves the Toronto fanbase, but as playoffs approach, the fans are becoming more vocal and more forward with their thoughts. “You want another drink?”

He looks down at his glass, contemplates for a minute, and then nods, so you return quickly with a new beer for him and then smile as you watch him take a large gulp of it. “So what’s new?”

“Ehh loaded question.” He says cryptically. You give him a look. “But hey, you’re here on a Wednesday! You done with your...dissertation?” He trails off hesitantly, smiling at himself when you nod.

“Yup. I should know next week if I’m all clear.”

“And then?” He prompts.

“And then you can call me doctor, asshole.” You tease.

“I mean, Dr. Asshole isn’t what I would have gone with as my first choice, but if that’s what you want…”

“Morgan!” You laugh, ducking your head at the lame joke.

He’s grinning when you meet his eyes again, pleased as always that he could make someone laugh. “But seriously, that’s awesome! I’m excited for you.”

“Thanks.” You grin.

“What’s your next step then?”

“Umm I get to start researching infectious diseases for money.” You tell him excitedly, since you’d accepted a job with the University of Toronto’s medical research facilities. “But it doesn’t start until August.”

You’d expected Morgan to tease you about your excitement of infectious disease-something he and his teammates (among many other people you know) have done multiple times before-but instead, he perks up and says, “So you’d be free, on say, the weekend of July 8th?”

“Why?” You ask suspiciously. Experience has told you not to immediately say yes to this.

Morgan sighs. “Look. I need a date for a wedding back home that weekend.”

“And I’m the best you could come up with?”

“Best?” Morgan repeats. “You are funny, you’re pretty, you’re a doctor, all of which, frankly, puts you well out my league.”

“You’re not wrong.” You agree cheerfully, which puts the smile back on Morgan’s face, as you’d hoped. “But that doesn’t explain why you’d need a date to this wedding.”

The smile fades quickly and you wince. “I was supposed to go with Laura.”

You frown. “What happened to Laura?” Last you’d heard, the two of them were solid. Really solid. Headed for a wedding themselves, solid.

“She wasn’t who I thought she was.” He says flatly.

You wince. “I’m sorry, Mo.”

He shrugs. “It’s over and done with now.” You send him a reassuring smile. “So will you come?”

Well, there’s really no way you can say no now and not feel like an asshole. “Sure.”

The grin returns to his face. “Knew you’d come through for me.”

-----

Morgan rolls up to the airport in Vancouver to pick you up in a very fancy looking Jeep, a far cry from the sporty Porsche he drives in Toronto, and you call him out on it immediately. “I see how it is. You go home and you’re a fancy country boy, not a fancy city boy?”

He laughs. “Fuck off.”

“Gladly.” You tell him, grinning teasingly. “Drop me off at departures, will ya?”

His tone immediately turns serious. “Thank you. Seriously. Thanks for coming.”

Your smile remains on your face, still beaming over at him. “It was nothing, Mo.” It wasn’t, really, and you both know it. You’d quit your bar job a couple weeks early because of this, but you were happy to do this for him. He’d been down about Laura, down about being bounced from the playoffs again. This spring had been rough on him and you were more than happy to do your part to cheer up one of your closest friends.

Morgan hmms, in a way like he’s pretending to be casual about it, but he changes the subject as he switches lanes to pull onto the highway.

-----

Morgan has a whole itinerary for the next few days, prior to the wedding, but promises he’ll take you around to some of his favorite spots before you leave late next week. A quiet night tonight, dinner with his parents and brother tomorrow, and then the wedding stuff began the following day.

Much like his fancy Jeep, his fancy house in Vancouver is also nothing like the condo he owns in Toronto. You wouldn’t go so far as to say that his condo is...edgy, but it’s pretty modern? The house here in Vancouver is larger, sure, but reminds you a lot of the house you grew up in...or well, a larger and fancier version of it.

“Gonna give me a tour?” You turn to Morgan, who’s standing next to you almost awkwardly, as you look up at the beautiful house in front of you. Your bags are still in his hands, and you nudge his arm playfully, reaching for one, but he won’t let you grab it, smiling back at you as he starts to lead you in.

The inside is just as nice, and even though it’s clear that his mom and interior decorator have done a lot of work on it, there’s still a lot of Mo touches too. Each one makes you smile, the ones he points out in his tour and the ones that he doesn’t, until he finally leads you upstairs, dropping your things in one of the spare rooms. “Did I-“

“If the next words out of your mouth are say thank you, I’m walking out of this house.” You warn him.

“-ask what you want to do for dinner tonight?” Morgan finishes lamely and you laugh.

“That sushi place you always hype up?”

Morgan smiles. “Anything you want.” He says, and then, instead of the thank you that you know he wants to say, he pulls you in for a hug and squeezes tightly, before letting go. “Change and we’ll go?”

“Shower, change, and we’ll go.” You correct, dying to get the feel of airplane off you. “45 minutes.”

Morgan looks at you knowingly. “Sure, uh huh.” He says, nodding like he knows it’ll be much closer to an hour, an hour and fifteen, and you laugh, shoving at his shoulder before he makes you want to stretch it out to an hour and a half on purpose.

-----

Morgan’s parents might be the nicest people in the world, but they’re also a little...odd? Like, you’re not trying to be mean, because just like Morgan, they truly are the absolute sweetest, but, like, they just keep smiling at you with this knowing smile, like they know something that you don’t and it’s just...weird.

But they welcome you with open arms, when the two of you show up to dinner on your second night in town, hugging you just as tightly as they hug their own son, maybe even tighter than they hug the son who still lives in the same province as them. 

“We’re so excited to finally meet you!” Morgan’s mom gushes, once you get settled in their kitchen with a glass of wine, which at least explains the weirdness a little. “

“You guys too.” You admit. You’ve heard so much about them, his parents and brother, over the years of friendship with Morgan; it’s nice to finally put faces to names, to stories. “Thanks for having me tonight.” Next to you, Morgan nudges you, a grin on his face. You can practically hear him. Stop saying thank you, like you’ve been saying to him for the past day. 

“Oh stop!” She says, practically in time with his nudge. “Morgan tells us you’re a doctor now!” It’s said with pride, like you may as well be one of her own children who’s done something great.

“Yeah!” You smile, swirling the wine around a little, and then, because you don’t want there to be any confusion. “Not that kind of doctor; you should still call 911 if something happens.”

His dad laughs and his mom beams. “What kind of doctor then?” His dad asks, and you spend a while talking with his parents about epidemiology and your dissertation- his mom, it turns out, works in a similar field, and it isn’t long before the two of you are rolling your eyes about some research that just came out.

“What?” You ask Morgan, laughing, when your conversation breaks out, and she has to go check on dinner, at his dad’s request, before he burns it all entirely.

“I just forgot how excited you get about infectious diseases.”

“Can’t believe you’ve been out here this whole time knowing that your mom and I both exist and haven’t introduced us.” You announce. “The rudeness, the hearsay.”

“I don’t think that’s how that word’s used.” Morgan cackles.

“Oh, sorry, are you a doctor?”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with knowing how that word is used!” He protests, laughing.

You ignore him. “If you even think of keeping her from me when they come to Toronto…”

He wraps his arm around your shoulders and squeezes. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

-----

“Are you ready yet?” Morgan calls, and you take one last look in the mirror on the wall, smoothing the pleats in your dress. “We’re going to be late!”

“But it’s gonna be worth it!” You sing-song as you descend the stairs to meet him in the living room.

“Is it ev-” He cuts off abruptly, eyes wide and swallowing visibly as he cuts off. “Wow, okay then.”

“Worth it.” You wink at him, brushing past him to grab your purse. 

Morgan’s laughing as he picks up his keys, this soft and gentle thing that you can’t help but smile at. “Yeah, I should’ve known it would be.”

“You’ll know better for tomorrow!” You tease, and breeze past him to get in the car.

The ride to his cousin’s rehearsal dinner isn’t far, spent mostly laughing as you keep switching the station from anything Morgan changes it back to. By the time you arrive at the restaurant, you’re both giggling as you enter, flagged down almost immediately by Morgan’s mom.

“Look at you two!” She gushes.

“Mom.” Morgan says dryly. “Come on.”

She smiles at him indulgently. “Make sure you say hi to your cousin.” 

“Yeah, of course.” Morgan nods, grabbing your hand to pull you away. “Just after we hit the bar.” He mutters and you giggle.

His cousin, the bride, and her husband-to-be seem to have the same idea, and it’s just as you’re turning away, wine glasses in hand, that you nearly run into them.

“Oh!” Ashley beams excitedly, once Morgan introduces you. “Hi!”

“Congratulations!” You return the excitement. She’s so bubbly and bright; it’s easy to do, even though you don’t know her. “You guys look so great tonight; you’re going blow us all away tomorrow.”

“She’s going to blow me away tomorrow.” Dylan jokes, but you can tell by the twinkle in his eye that he’s entirely serious.

“Oh stop.” Ashley knocks his arm. “And you too,” She gestures at you. “You look amazing! How’d you do your hair like that?”

“This?” She nods and you walk her through it quickly; it’s a look that’s so much more simple than it looks and she’s gasping by the time you’re done. 

“Ok, mhmm.” She nods. “I’m getting your number from Morgan later so you can go over that with me again because I’m definitely going to forget.”

Morgan flicks a piece of your hair. “It’s a hairstyle, what could you possibly forget?”

You and Ashley exchange a look. “I got you.” You reassure her as you both laugh at him.

“Men, honestly.” She shakes her head, as Morgan and Dylan protest, but then before you and Ashley can talk any more, she and Dylan are being called away, and there’s promises for you all to catch up tomorrow at the wedding.

“You can’t have her phone number unless you promise not to talk about me.” Morgan says.

“Fat chance.” You tell him. “But nice try.”

From there, you start making your way back to his parents, stopping off to chat quickly with relatives he recognizes (and once, ducking purposefully into a small crowd to avoid an aunt he doesn’t want to see). You feel like it shouldn’t be surprising how nice his family is, given how genuine Morgan is, but each person you meet welcomes you so warmly, with kind words and open arms. 

“You must talk about me a lot.” You tease, as you two start making your way to your table.

Morgan shrugs. “More than I’d realized apparently.” You cackle and he laughs; it’s familiar and easy, but then you’re easily distracted by the appetizers coming to the table and fighting Morgan for extra of your favorites-also familiar and easy.

-----

It’s another morning of Morgan waiting impatiently for you, being rewarded with his gaping jaw dropped, and teasing him the entire ride to the wedding, before he easily gets his revenge when you tear up at the ceremony.

“You don’t even know these people!” He nudges you forward toward his cousin in the reception line right after the ceremony. “And you’re going to cry like that?”

“It was a beautiful ceremony!” You defend. You’d been right yesterday; Ashley had easily blown everyone away from the moment she’d entered the room. Their vows were incredible; you didn’t understand how anyone wasn’t crying.

Morgan snickers, nudging you forward again. “God, what do you do at weddings you actually know the people at?” He pauses as you both step closer another, like the idea has just come to him. “Oh man, what are going to do at your own wedding?”

“Bawl my eyes out, obviously.” You say dryly. “Tell my future husband to bring tissues.” You move up, next in line for Ashley and Dylan. “You clearly didn’t get the message.”

“What’d you do?” Ashley pokes him; you guess whoever was in front of you was a guest she didn’t know all that well because they’ve moved along pretty quickly.

“Me? I’d never.” Morgan says innocently, ducking down to kiss her cheek.

“I’m just giving him a hard time.” You agree and she grins, shocking you when she pulls you in for a hug. 

“He probably deserves it.” She says cheerfully.

“Wow, I see family loyalty goes a long way here, huh.” Morgan deadpans.

Ashley gives him a look. “Not for much longer, I guess, though?” She nudges him.

“Oh I see how it is, you’ve been married for all of five minutes and suddenly Dylan’s family is better than ours?” Morgan teases.

Ashley blinks. “That is...not how I meant that at all.” She says, but before she can say anything else to you, the couple behind the two of you starts sighing impatiently, and you all realize how long you’ve been talking for. You quickly congratulate her and then move along to Dylan as well, before stepping out of line and moving towards the reception area.

The bridal party was quick to get the reception started after the ceremony, so when you and Morgan make your way over, there’s already a decent sized group chatting and drinking. You both grab drinks from the bar and make your way to a group of his cousins, chatting for a while and laughing along as they’re sure to include you in all of their jokes.

When it comes time to start making your way to your table for dinner, you excuse yourself to the bathroom quickly, running into Morgan’s grandmother when you’re there, who had the same idea as you it seems.

She lights up when she sees you fixing your hair in the mirror, stepping up to wash her hands. “It looks great.” She assures you and you smile, thanking her. “Are you having a good time?”

You nod, following her out so the two of you can make your way back to the reception. “Such a good time! Everyone’s been amazing and Ashley and Dylan are beautiful; it’s been a great weekend!”

“It’ll be great to be all be here again,” Morgan’s grandmother smiles at you and you return it politely. “Next summer.” She adds, like an afterthought, and you shrug. She’d know better than you what the upcoming engagements look like. You can barely remember the names of the people you’re seated with tonight.

“If Morgan brings me back then.” You throw her a finger gun and she laughs-loudly.

“Oh, you’re a trip!” She nudges you gently, laughing. “Such a doll. Let’s get another glass of wine together before we go back, shall we?”

“I will never say no to that.” You’re pretty sure you still have a couple minutes to spare before you need to sit down. 

His grandmother links arms with you. “My kinda gal.” She beams and her smile is contagious, just like Morgan’s is when he’s really happy, so it’s not hard to grin along with her as she tugs you along for another glass of rosé.

-----

The evening’s winding down- the wedding long over and the after party beginning to do so as well. Almost all of the older relatives have made their way home or to their hotel rooms but there’s a few sloppy cousins and friends still going hard (you’ve got some serious concerns how the one groomsman is even going to make it upstairs). Ashley and Dylan keep stealing glances at each other, like they’re wondering if it’s late enough for them to sneak away yet, but each time they look like they’re going to, someone calls for another toast.

Morgan nudges you. “Hey.” He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a couple cigars. “Outside with me?”

You think about it for a second. Usually, you love a good cigar-and you’re sure that Morgan’s managed to acquire a good one- but tonight? “Not really in the mood, but I’ll come out.”

He grins, a little crooked, and offers his hand to help you up from the couch the two of you have been sitting on. Outside, the weather is beautiful, one of those crystal clear nights with a light breeze where you feel like you could be outside for hours. He lights the cigar while you continue to sip at your wine, the two of you standing in comfortable silence, until the door opens again.

“Cigars without me?” His brother grumbles. “I see how it is now.”

“Yup, just left you behind on purpose.” Morgan says shamelessly, but he’s already pulling the spare out of his pocket and handing it over.

“Unsurprising.”

“Yeah?” Morgan asks, amusedly. “Why’s that?” 

His brother gives him a look, and then, when Morgan doesn’t react, looks over at you, but you just shrug. “Just promise you won’t forget about me once you pop the question.”

You choke on your drink; Morgan looks just as shocked, the cigar halfway to his mouth. “What?” He says finally.

For the first time, his brother looks unsure. “I think...we all just thought...once you brought her home, that was the only thing holding you back?”

“Oh my god.” Morgan says breathlessly.

“I’m not-” You add helplessly. “We’re not-”

“Oh.” His brother winces. “Wait, so you’re not…” He trails off and the silence between the three of you becomes so thick it’s almost palpable. You don’t know what to do, what to say. What he even means. “You’re not together?” He says finally, sounding like he’d rather be anywhere else, doing anything else.

You can relate. You shake your head slowly, notice Morgan’s doing the same out of the corner of your eye.

“Um.” His brother continues. “And-and you haven’t been-together?” Another head shake. “Wow. A lot of people are going to be very disappointed.”

“A lot of people?” Morgan repeats. “Who...who all thinks this?” But you don’t need an answer to know and apparently, he doesn’t either. The silence thickens somehow; you didn’t think it was possible. 

“Um.” His brother’s already backing away, even as he speaks. “I’m gonna go now. Before I say anything else to make this worse.”

He’s gone before you can tell him you’re not sure that’s possible, leaving you and Morgan in the loudest silence you’ve ever experienced. 

It’s abundantly clear Morgan feels it too, from the way he won’t even meet your eyes, will barely even look at you, actually. And there’s so much to say here, but well, “You never brought Laura to meet your family? Never let them meet her at home?” Apparently, they really weren’t as serious as you’d thought.

Morgan laughs hollowly, finally meeting your eyes. “That probably should have been a clue, huh?”

“A little bit of a red flag.” You agree. It’d been how many years? Morgan’s tight with his family, that much you knew before you’d come out here and only became clearer as you met them. “Why...why didn’t you ever introduce them?”

Morgan sighs. “I think-I always knew something wasn’t right. And I just didn’t want to admit it?” He sighs again. “I shouldn’t have brought you into this.”

“You didn’t know.” You tell him gently. “And I wanted to come.” You remind him. “I was happy to!” You pause for a second. “I was happy to come across the country to a wedding with you and your family with barely a second thought. So maybe we both need to re-examine what happened here this weekend.”

“Maybe we don’t.” Morgan says simply.

“What?” You frown, confused.

“You were happy to fly across the country for a wedding with me and my family.” Morgan repeats, with a small smile on his face. “And then you come here and meet my entire family, and they think I’m ready to propose to you, because you're the girl they hear me talk about all the time.” Your jaw drops-is he saying...what you think he’s saying-and his smile grows into a grin. “I think this thing between us has been more than either of us have been able to admit because we’ve had other things going on- school or hockey or-”

“Other girlfriends?” You supply teasingly, when he trails off, like he’s afraid to mention her name.

He nods. “There’ve been other boyfriends, too.” He nudges you, just as teasing.

“There have.” You admit, because it’s not a lie, but none of them have ever worked out, for a variety of reasons, but you can’t help but think, that now that he’s mentioning it, Morgan might have been a part of those other reasons.

He’s back to smiling again when he continues, leaning against you slightly. “I think we owe it to ourselves to see what we could be.”

You lean back against him. “You do, do you?”

“I do.” He nods.

“Little early for that, don’t you think?” It takes a second for your joke to land, but once it does, he cracks up and it brings a smile to your face. 

“We are at a wedding.” He grins, nudging you playfully. “Who knows, maybe someday it’ll be ours?”

-----

a bit in the future

It’s one of those beautiful sunny days where the sun is shining with a light breeze where you feel like you could be outside for hours. 

Unfortunately, you’ve got a huge project due at the end of the week, so while Morgan’s been enjoying the lake all day, you’ve been sitting at a table on the dock, staring at your laptop, tapping away at your keyboard, and ignoring his increasingly annoying calls for attention.

It’s harder to ignore when he comes up next to you, wrapping his wet arms around your shoulders. “Morgan.” You try to shake him off. “Come on, gimme like ten minutes and then I’ll come in.”

“Promise?” He asks.

“Yes.” You say because if you can get this one last thing done you’ll be ahead of your goal for the day.

It works; Morgan sits down next to you quietly, scrolling through his phone for a bit, and then, jumps up and runs inside the cabin, and you jump on the opportunity of quiet to get ahead even further, losing yourself in your next bit of project.

“Hey,” Morgan says casually, and it scares you a bit, his return far quieter than he’s been all day. “What are you doing the weekend of July 8th?”

“I don’t know, that’s like a year away!.” You snap, turning to tell him to stop annoying you, only for your jaw to drop when you see him down on one knee.

“Want to get married then?” He says, a twinkle in his eye and a grin on his face, like he’s been waiting for this reaction, like it was everything and more.

“Oh my god! Are you serious?” He slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out a ring; you gasp. “Morgan!”

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes, oh my god, yes!” Your computer long forgotten in the face of an engagement ring, you throw yourself at Morgan, who catches you easily, like he was prepared for this. He probably was. He knows you better than anyone; he’s your best friend and so much more. He barely manages to slip the ring on your finger before you’re kissing him. “I love you!”

“I love you, too.” He grins. “Are you sure you’re ready to take this jump with me?”

“Of course!” You beam, but it hits you just a minute too late. He’s already jumping in the water. “You’re the worst.” You sputter out at him, purposefully spitting lake water at his face. 

He doesn’t even look like he minds. “For better or worse.” He grins.

“That’s not what that’s referring to!” You splash him and he splashes back but before it can devolve into a full on splash attack, he’s pulling you into his arms.

“I mean it though.” He says, kissing you again. “And I’ll tell you again, next summer, at our wedding.”

Our wedding. The words sound almost unreal, too good to be true. “I’ll be the one in white.” You promise. “Or, well, maybe ivory.” You say and it’s hard to kiss Morgan then when he’s laughing so hard.

[shyvioletcat]

I’d like to place a request for Aelin singing Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars and Rowan overhearing it (you decide if it’s intentional or her singing in the shower or drunk karaoke hehe) in Striking Matches of course 😉 since that hasn’t happened yet

cont: Oops wait I always forget it’s technically by Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ my bad it’s a collab

I went with something different, but let’s be real... Aelin would just about sing this song every chance she gets.

So Timeline wise, this so just after they get together. It’s probably been a month and a half since he busted her door.

Striking Matches Masterlist

~~~~~

The fire alarm ringing through the school gym had the kids in a panic, it even took a few moments for Aelin to get her own feelings under control. But when her kids had flocked to her, their scared faces wide-eyed, she pulled herself together. When she had volunteered to chaperone the Halloween dance this is not what she expected. 

Her and the other teachers ushered the kids outside, not even a trace of smoke to be found but still they got all the kids out to the car park. It was soon apparent that some cheeky troublemaker, probably urged on by their peers, had pulled the alarm and there was no real threat of fire. But they had to follow protocol and that meant the greater portion of the student body from grades 4-6 were huddled in the car park —all in their costumes— waiting for the firefighters to turn up to give the official all clear. The poor things were getting cold in the brisk October air and still nervous after all the drama. Aelin wasn’t feeling particularly warm herself in her Alice in Wonderland costume, the striped tights at least were offering her some protection from the cold. 

So Aelin did the first thing she could think of. 

Turning her phone full volume she led a dance party in the empty spaces of the parking lot. She was dancing to hype the kids up, most likely looking like a dork as she did the sprinkler for the umpteenth just as the fire engine pulled up. The team unloaded from the vehicle very quickly, Lorcan barely gave the excited children a second glance, but Aelin’s students were thrilled to see Rowan again and he gave them a wide smile and a wave. Fenrys directed a thumbs up to her in approval of her dance moves before he waved to the kids as well, giving them some finger guns to top it off.

Another song played through and the whining of the alarm stopped and everyone cheered. Lorcan appeared again and went to clear things with the principal then the others started filing out. Out of nowhere an idea struck Aelin, a song that seemed too perfect to pass up in the moment. So she unlocked her phone, scrolling through until she found the song she wanted. 

The poppy vocalising at the intro of the song started and she made sure to keep at least one eye of Rowan as everyone started dancing. She saw the twins share a look and then they were laughing. Gavriel was just shaking his head. 

This hit, that ice cold

Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold

This one for them hood girls

Them good girls straight masterpieces

Aelin sang along and somewhere she heard Lysandra cackling. 

Stylin', wilin', livin' it up in the city

Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent

Gotta kiss myself, I'm so pretty

I'm too hot –– hot damn

Aelin pointed at Rowan who was trying his damndest not to smile. He was failing. 

Called a police and a fireman

I'm too hot –– hot damn

Make a dragon wanna retire man

I'm too hot –– hot damn

Say my name you know who I am

I'm too hot –– hot damn

And my band 'bout that money, break it down

Aelin wiggling her shoulders ridiculously at him had him breaking and he laughed. By then Rowan had reached and took her by the hand, spinning her a few times –– her apron and skirts fanning out. The kids, meanwhile, were going insane. 

When Rowan stopped the spinning Aelin’s hands landed on his shoulders. 

“Don’t you think this song is a little inappropriate for the little ones?” He said. 

“I suppose.” Aelin sighed and changed the song, a chorus of disappointed protests sounding. “But I just couldn’t resist.”

A terse Whitethorn came from the direction of the fire engine, making both Aelin and Rowan look over. The rest of the team was loaded back up ready to head back to the station. Aelin linked her arm with Rowan and handed her phone off to Lysandra so she could keep the party going while the executives decided what to do next. 

“Will you come by for breakfast tomorrow? I bought a fresh box of toaster waffles,” Aelin asked, leaning close to leech his warmth. 

“Those things taste like cardboard,” Rowan complained. 

Aelin just she rolled her eyes. “Fine, come for the company then.” 

“I think I’d rather eat the cardboard,” Rowan replied, the corners of his mouth betraying him as they quirked upwards. 

“Remind me again why I agreed to make us a thing?” Aelin said as she let go him and Rowan put one foot on the step of the turck then leaned in closer to her. 

“How about I remind you tomorrow morning,” he said, his voice little more than a purr. “And I’ll pick something up from a bakery on the way home.”

Rowan pulled himself up into the cab before Aelin could reply, but she was smiling as he rolled down the window. Then she stepped up onto the step as Rowan leaned out the window. 

“I like that sound of that.”

They were both smiling when their lips met but they managed. They broke apart when Fenrys’ wolf whistle startled them both, Aelin managed to refrain from flipping him of for the sake of the students and the reprimands it would get her if any of her superiors saw. 

“See you in the morning,” Rowan said, Aelin’s reply was a two fingers salute as the truck drove away.

Aelin watched it go until it had turned and she couldn’t see Rowan anymore. When she went to go back to the impromptu dance party she noticed one of her students, Benjamin, standing on the outskirts watching her, his mouth hanging open in surprise. 

“You okay there, Benjamin?” Aelin asked.

It took him a moment to answer and he looked past her to where the fire engine had been parked, then he beckoned her closer. Aelin rested her hands on her knees so she was just about level with him. 

“Miss G, did you just kiss Fireman Whitethorn?” He whispered. 

Aelin nodded. “I did.”

“But…” Benjamin’s brow furrowed. “You’re only supposed to kiss people who are you boyfriend or girlfriend. Is Mr Whitethorn your boyfriend?” 

The boy was so excited and perplexed he’d completely forgotten about the fireman bit. 

“He is,” she said simply. 

Aelin couldn’t wait to tell Rowan about the look of sheer delight that spread over Benjamin’s face when she told him. He spun around, no doubt to spread this new revelation amongst his classmates, she could practically see the ripple of excitement move through the crowd. Aelin just laughed and kept dancing until the parents started to arrive to pick up their kids.

~~~~~

I say it every time but... I miss these two.

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[jiaraendgame]

Manipulation — Part One

Summary: Why Rafe Cameron took an interest in a Pogue is unknown, but a year later a bad decision has a good outcome when a golden boy from the Cut makes an unwavering impression on this lost girl.

Warnings: Angst, sad, drug use/abuse, swearing, underage drinking, peer pressure. (I think that’s it?? If I missed anything for the warnings let me know)

Word Count: 3k+

A/N: This is a song fic based on Manipulation by Beartooth.

***Part one is all Rafe x Reader flashback. Part two is where JJ comes in. Oh and there is like a 2.2 second scene with Platonic!JB x Reader in this part.***

This is my first time writing for OBX and in general posting fanfiction for the world to see. So apologies cause it’s definitely trash. I just want to say a BIG thank you for the few people here who encouraged me to write and have fun. Also a BIG thanks to my best friend and beta reader @john-benderr for hyping me up and always supporting me and my silly antics. Hope you guys don’t hate it, I tried my best. Let me know what you think???

Gif credit: @toesure

I hesitated, got lost again

You saw me as wounded prey

I was a wreck, I was a bloody mess

And you couldn't look away

The Boneyard designated party destination here in the Outer Banks. The ultimate summer hang-out spot for some guaranteed wild moments. Even if you could point out every Kook, Touron, or us Pogues from the Cut, it was usually a good time. You never know what’s gonna happen on any given night, but you are sure to find people from all walks of life on this island congregating and partying. This is where you found yourself tonight, at a kegger ready to forget the responsibilities you held at least just for the night. The air was warm, and the party's noise swam through your ears, drowning out any reservation you usually have for yourself. You wanted to drown in this wave of overwhelming senses. The crackles from the fire, the music you swayed to, the sounds of people mingling and cheering, it swallowed you whole as you finished off another cup of bitter liquid. Was this your third or fourth cup from the keg? You don’t really remember anymore, but nor do you care. All that mattered is you were loosening the jaw you had tightened all day and was forgetting about the pressures you were facing at home. Nothing here mattered more than being free.

At this point, you had more than a buzz going on, but nothing was stopping your fun just yet. You clumsily weaved in and out of people working your way back to the keg ready for another round. You usually never drank alone, but tonight you weren’t in the mood for friends. At least that’s what you told yourself. In actuality, everyone you hit up to come tonight ghosted you or had some lame excuse as to why they couldn’t come. So you bravely chose to go as a one-woman show ready to conquer the party on your own. Never thinking that this night would lead you down a rabbit hole, you would never be prepared for. Stumbling forward lost in your thoughts, you slur your words to the tall and tan brown-haired boy with his button down shirt half-open handing out drinks from the keg.

“Hey man, hand me a refill, yeah?” Your sloppy words spill out of your mouth, letters all jumbled together barely coherent to the untrained ear.

The brown-haired boy looked at you a tinge of concern in his eyes as you were visibly wasted and clearly on your own tonight. You don’t know why it mattered. It’s not like everyone else wasn’t just as sloshed as you were.

“Uh, you sure you can handle another one, you look… well, you look pretty faded.” 

The boy’s sentiment meant well, but it did nothing but annoy you. Why did everyone think they had to take care of you? Don’t they know you are beyond capable of doing so yourself? You work your ass off to keep everything in line, you can cut loose every once and awhile. Your inner voice of reason started to rear its ugly head, briefly reminding you how utterly irresponsible you were being. Listen to the boy, go home. You don’t need this. Stop acting so tough you aren’t that strong. It’s okay to feel the way you do. Quit while you’re ahead.

Quickly shoving the paranoia that began to rise in your chest, you knew if you could still feel the panic, then you weren’t drunk enough. Looking back at the boy, he was still eyeing you hesitantly when you finally sharpened your tongue and spoke again.

“Please, I know how to handle myself, pretty boy. I’m just living a little is all.” The attitude in your voice is far from pleasant.

Why were you so rude to the kind boy who clearly was watching out for your well-being? You should have listened to him. You shouldn’t have drunk this next cup. Maybe it was just the catalyst for the events that proceeded to perspire.

“Listen just… just gimme a refill, and I’ll be on my way. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about me. I can handle myself, I swear.” While you wanted to sound sure of yourself and maybe even a bit assertive, you could tell he didn’t take you seriously at all.

Your amplified brash persona needed work clearly as it fooled no one while you were blurring the lines of reality and fantasy with each drink you took. The boy looks at you, and the small line starting to form behind you. He sighs to the side as he fills a cup with the amber liquid, finally obliging to your commands to avoid further conflict. While handing you the cup, he speaks once more before you swivel on your heels.

“ Hey, listen... if you need someone to bring you home later or whatever, just come find me. The names John B.”

You stood there bewildered for a moment, unsure why someone would have concern over you. You were just a drunk partygoer at the beach for some fun, why did it seem like you were so different than the others around you? You could take care of yourself you always have, but regardless it was a kind gesture. You felt a pit in your gut for being rude to him moments ago. You couldn’t answer him, you just looked in his eyes and shook your head with a softened smile. Hoping he would understand, you appreciated his offer.

New drink in hand, you stumbled to a clear spot on the beach and plopped yourself down into the ground. Removing your sandals, you buried your toes in the soft sand closing your eyes, taking a swig of your drink. You felt the air on your skin as you leaned your head back. A new sense of calm washed over your body as you faded into the scenery. Sip by sip, you felt all your grievances escape your mind. Nothing would stop you from releasing your mind tonight even if it tried to crawl it’s way back up the hole you shoved it down. If each sip of liquid kept the beasts at bay for just a moment, the tranquility you felt was worth every bit of hell you’d wake up to tomorrow.

You broke me down

So you could take me out

Lost in thought, you lay your body back into the sand, staring up at the stars in a dazed state. Not noticing the pair of eyes that have been watching you for quite some time. From a distance, a seemingly put-together boy traced his eyes along your body. Staring at every curve, every feature, watching every action you took, he knew he had to talk to you. What better time to make a move when you were finally alone, away from the hustle and bustle of the kegger and laying out on the beach staring up at the sky. 

He’s been keeping an eye on you all night, watching you get more faded with each sip of every drink you took. Alone at a party, you don’t see that often around here. Everyone always pairs up fast, even if you did arrive alone. You well, you were different. Something about you drew this clean-cut boy to you, and he wasn’t quite sure why. Something about your solitude reminded him of something he couldn’t quite place a finger on. Or maybe it was how he watched you spiral, falling with no safety net beneath you. He decided tonight he would be the safety net, he would catch you, even if you didn’t ask.

“Hello, beautiful…” A voice speaks out, startling you as your eyes crash open. A light chuckle passes the boy’s lips at your shock. 

“Sorry, darling, didn’t mean to startle you.” He smiles, flashing his gorgeous white teeth at you. “I saw you over here alone and thought you could use some company.”

You blink a few times, trying to focus your blurred vision. A boy whose outline was hazy hovers over you, still smiling that bright smile. However, something felt underlying off about his sheer confidence. It wasn’t much longer until you put two and two together. The boy in the salmon-colored polo shirt and the khaki shorts that stared into your eyes was the infamous Kook prince himself, Rafe Cameron.

Any other day of the week, you’d loathe the boy in front of you, he always caused trouble for anyone who came from the Cut. He bathed in his arrogance and condescending words. So why has the prince of Kooks wandered his way over to you was the million-dollar question. One that you’re not sure you’ll ever get the answer to.

You lifted yourself into a sitting position and still have yet to speak a word to the polished boy in front of you. He speaks once more, trying to pry words from your mouth with every smooth sentence he spoke.

“Aw come now, a gorgeous face like that shouldn’t be scowling by her lonesome. Let me join you, they always say misery loves company.” The tip of the boy’s tongue brushes his top lip as a sly smirk pricks the side of his mouth.

You cock your eyebrow up, but still, motion for the boy to sit next to you. You didn’t think you were scowling, but the more you focused your mind, it became clear you weren’t suppressing any of the facial expressions you thought you were. The alcohol tore down your mask a little more than you would have liked. 

You finally spoke to the boy poised next to you, studying the side of your face. “Who says I’m miserable, what if I just want the company?”

A chuckle passes his lips, he knew he had his hooks in you now. You turn and face Rafe, knowing full well that engaging with him is a terrible idea, but sometimes you craved a little danger in your life. Danger, like getting involved with a Kook named Rafe Cameron, would entail. If it distracted you even just for the night then why not go all out, he was looking rather charming tonight.

“Ah, well, aren’t we all a little miserable? I mean, no one’s perfect, right?” His breathy words cause the curiosity inside you to rise. 

Was the always well kept and confident Rafe Cameron telling you he and his Kook lifestyle wasn’t perfect? 

 It had to be the alcohol talking. It’s burning through your veins, making you actually consider speaking to someone so deviously pristine. Part of you believed it was to forget your troubles, the other part wondered what lies beneath the surface of the self-proclaimed prince. The more you gazed at him, the more sweetness you saw, but it wasn’t just that. There was something else about Rafe that you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but maybe you two had more in common than you thought.

“Please, Rafe, don’t give me your pity party parade. People like you don’t know real misery.”

“On the contrary little dove, he who you see before you has many layers, my rips, and tears, however, are patched up and easily hidden. Yours, however… well, yours are prominent and hanging by threads.”

Ouch. There is the haughty personality that you knew would peek out eventually. The sting of his words appeared on your face as he tries to console the wounds he inflicted.

“Everyone is tattered and worn little dove; it’s how you patch those tears that matter.”

“What are you getting at here, Rafe? Cause it seems to me, despite how sweet you think your sentiment is, you just don’t know how to truly console someone you see as lesser than you.” You want to keep your annoyance you have with Rafe, but with each comment and... and that nickname, he cracks your shell a little bit more.

“I don’t believe you are less than me beautiful, I just…” He sighs. “You’re right, I’m not good at consoling others.” He pauses briefly before he continues, knowing he has to bring himself down a level or he won’t get anywhere with you.

“How’s this then… how about instead of talking we just keep each other company? You don’t even have to speak to me if you don’t want to, though I’d prefer it if you did.” A small wink is shot your way.

“We aren’t just gonna sit here in silence Rafe, I don’t want that kind of company.”

“Well… then how about we ditch the sand and trade it in for something a little more… luxurious?”

There it was, the danger you felt. An offer from Rafe Cameron to go, god, knows where to do god knows what. It excited you, the unknown world of Rafe. You hesitated, unsure if you were ready to fully plunge yourself into forbidden territory, but there it was again. The panic rising in your chest, the thoughts and stress you wanted to escape creeping up again, threatening to attack if you let them linger too long. With that, you took your red cup and downed the remainder of its contents, pushing back your burdens once more. 

Looking into Rafe’s eyes, there was a sparkle of chaos hidden deep within his soft gaze. It made you weak, it made you yearn for something more than this party at the Boneyard. With that, your decision was made. You gave him a smile and shook your head, trying to contain the eagerness you suddenly felt.

This is isolation

Kept in the dark and waiting

You're wearing the crown of kingdoms I created

Now I can't escape it

All of the light is fading

Rafe was up in seconds, extending his hand down to you; an almost menacing smirk overtook his face. As you clasp your hand into his and you’re brought to your feet, you stumble into his side, gripping tighter to keep your balance. Rafe was quick to slide his free arm around your waist, steadying you.

“I got you little dove, lean on me. I won’t let you fall.”

His sweet like honey words swallowed you now. A flush of red kisses your cheeks. Was it his promise to not let you fall or was it the nickname he spoke to you that made your head swirl more than the alcohol ever could, you weren’t sure, but you wished the feeling wouldn’t stop.

It wasn’t long before you were in Rafe’s car and driving who knows where, but what you did know was the excitement you felt was overwhelming your fear. 

“Where are we going?”

“I’m going to show you what a real party is like, beautiful.”

The compliments he kept spewing towards you, a simple Pogue girl, was astonishing. You never believed a Kook like Rafe would see you as anything but a “dirty Pogue.”

“Can I ask a question?” You turn your head towards the boy.

“Of course, little dove. Anything.” He places his free hand on your bare thigh and a light squeeze follows it.

The shiver sent down your spine, tantalized your thoughts. You no longer could think straight. He glances over to you, a smirk once more gracing his lips.

“Why little dove? I- I mean, why are you calling me that?”

“Well, I thought that was obvious, darling? You know my name, but I still have yet to learn yours.”

Your face drops at the realization that you never indeed introduced yourself to Rafe. Of course, you knew who he was, everyone knew who he was, but you? You were no one. Of course, he didn’t know your name.

“O-oh my god, I’m sorry I didn’t even realize I didn’t... uhh,” you chuckle nervously at your idiocy. “The names (Y/N).” You spit out between nervous breaths and awkward giggles. The alcohol was still strong in your system.

A light, almost innocent laugh passes his lips, looking over to you. “It’s okay (Y/N), I don’t mind giving a beautiful girl a nickname that suits her.” He winks. “In fact, I think you’re stuck with little dove from now on… if you don’t mind, of course.”

You hadn’t realized the car had come to a stop in front of a vast mansion. The architecture was beautiful and symmetric with white pillars on the outside. Perfectly kept flowered hedges and trimmed grass graces the front yard. It was like a picture, pristine and undamaged.

“I-I don’t mind no… not at all.” You smile sheepishly towards the boy as he turns the key and shuts the ignition off.

“Well, here we are… are you ready for a real party?” He asks, stepping out and quickly meeting you at the passenger side. Opening the door, he offers you his hand once more.

Taking his hand, you lean once more on his side, steadying your balance. Unsure where the night is about to guide you. Despite the pristine image outside the house once in the door, the whole feeling has changed. There were Kooks everywhere, and to say you felt a little out of place was an understatement. Loud music blared through the open rooms filled with people drinking, smoking, laughing, and smiling. Much like at the Boneyard, but the atmosphere was entirely different. 

Rafe sensed your new-found hesitation, but he wasn’t about to let you slip away. Not when he finally had you where he wanted. Pulling you closer to his side, he whispers into your ear—his warm breath causing you to gasp slightly at his now lower smooth tone.

“Relax… you can trust me.”

All you could do was shake your head. You weren't quite sure how this boy made you so weak at the knees, but you wanted to believe him, so you did.

He paraded you through the party, introducing you to the skeptical Kooks whose eyeballs felt like daggers in your chest. Their disdain and judgment of you unspoken with you wrapped around Rafe’s side.

Finally, on the last stop of the tour de la Cameron, he brought you through a room that outlooked towards the pool area. He brings you up towards a smaller group of people. Two of which you recognized as Rafe’s loyal posse. Topper and Kelce.

“Hey what’s up my man, where have you been all night?”

They exchange greetings and eyeball his new hip attachment IE you. They look over to Rafe with enigmatic smiles spread across their face, but before they could say anything to you, the boy spoke.

“Boys this is (Y/N), she came to experience what real luxury is like. So I expect her to be treated like the best guest of honor she is.”

Topper and Kelce share a glance and shrug off the ideas of Rafe, bringing a Pogue to their side of the island. They figured he had other intentions behind his new side piece. 

“Right well welcome (Y/N) I hope you’re ready for some real fun.” The boys gleamed their fakest grins towards you.

Rafe pulls you over and sits you down next to him, a clear glass table in front of you. The other two boys sit across from you. After a seemingly relaxed conversation, he claps his hands together and lets out an excited laugh.

“Alright, boys, the real fun begins.” Looking over to you, he releases your hand that you’ve been holding and pulls out a small plastic baggy with a white substance inside. He makes quick work of the substance cutting out four clean and tight lines onto the table. Rolling a dollar bill into a cylinder, he passes it over to Kelce. 

The muscular boy leans towards the table cylinder in hand against one nostril while he plugs the other. In one swift movement, the white powder was gone, and he passed the bill over to Topper. He quickly follows suit. Both the boys cheer out a sudden burst of euphoria that rattles their bodies. Looking on to Rafe as he was up next.

You pulled at his arm in shock at the site you’re seeing unravel in front of your eyes. He could see the worry written all over you.

“Don’t worry darling, a little blow never hurt anyone.” He pats your head, running his hand down your hair, and leans over and plants a kiss onto your cheek.

The sudden physical affection made you swoon as you bite your lower lip, still looking at him with concern in your eyes.

“I-I don’t know about this, Rafe.”

“Shhh, just watch it’ll be fine.”

He lowers his abdomen down with haste cleaner and faster than the previous boys; the powder is gone. Almost as if he’s done this regularly. Maybe Rafe Cameron wasn’t lying to you earlier. Perhaps he really was hiding an unseen misery. Your heart suddenly ached for the boy as he leaned up and pinched his nostrils a few times, sniffing back the remnants of the content he just consumed.

“It’s your turn beautiful. This will clear out all that misery from earlier, I promise.” He extends the rolled-up bill to you, his eyes darting down your body, trying to read your response.

You don’t speak. You just stare at him, and the boys across from you obnoxiously chuckle.

“Come on (Y/N) you’re a Pogue you should be used to this shit on the Cut.”

“Where’s your courage, girl?”

The boys tease as Rafe shoots them a glare, silencing them immediately. You reach out your hand shakily towards the rolled-up bill. Questioning why you’re even considering this. His words from earlier echo in your head, ‘you can trust me.’

“It’s easy, I promise I’ll even help you. Trust me, you’ll feel like you’re on top of the world. Once you’re there, the real party begins.”

“I-I’m scared.” You whisper to Rafe as he pulls you closer.

“No reason to be scared sweetheart, I got you. Remember, I won’t let you fall.” His hand cups the side of your face. His eyes looking deep into yours so soft and sweet as he's gently stroking your cheek with his thumb.

You take a deep breath, reminding yourself you wanted to live a little. You wanted this freedom, this danger. So it was now or never. You leaned down as Rafe bends to help you. The boy pressed one of your nostrils closed and instructed you to snort in fast and move down the line. You shake your head, confirming to him you were ready.

“Come on, little dove… let’s fly.” These were the last words you remember hearing as you snorted your first line of blow. Rafe cooing to you as you faded out. 

This isn't trust

This is manipulation

Taglist: @pit-zuh 

(Tbh I wanted to tag a few other mututals but I’m nervous so sorry!)

Part Two coming soon-ish?

[rwmhunt]

Leviticus, Chapter 23

1. Substitute day, and a return unto A sender of something, as to another place, That hasn't the wherewithal to get there either; I will open it again and learn That which is already known to be such As isn't so much.

2. And it's not mine, but a, And is the right way round. For as I set the seasons, I reprise, reply, replay; It's substitution day.

3. And Sabbath is the seventh, Whence the lord, in all thy dwellings, Is up for doing nothing; Or Sabbath is the sixth; I don't care.

4. And welcome to my channel, It's great to have each of you still with me- A man who speaks of people By their purpose, Himself as his own singer, With- such are the seasons, Even, holy convocations, For want to be sure of a constant, It's Senhal, An obscure term For an old friend.

5. Love, love, lo, this is not Of a cloven love, Leviticus, I will speak of it Unto sundry strangers and neighbours, As just one more month's dusk Then it'll be passover, Not once. Not twice, Not once. Love. So we can still imagine a time When all of this will go again;

6. But a day will approach When, if there is something That can look back, Could think that 'here' and 'then' Are really very close;- And I wonder if they saw The strings of direct attachment, Lining their behaviours; Just flour and water, But I don't think so; Still, anytime was closer to history than this one, So what do I know?

7. If I were to put the onus On to the impossible, Then what was light-hearted and playful, Would be wont to become ridden and surly; Lord, being an influencer is a serious endeavour, For how many unsuccessful oblations are there That are out there? Lo, state your appreciation; Don’t just wing it. Plan it out in kalends, Of which are reckon'd to be backwards; so, To start, do nothing.

8. After a week, Let's go- Gift your influencers' grift, For, when you so do this, It strokes the ego of the flames, Who then add unto the savour of sacrifice, Thus, get me it up; Make it smolder, Then, use its fatal nature To activate the future.

9. And simple: These are nacks, To muster control Over gods; Are junk and have been; That we all have interest vested- Let ignorance of it control Hereafter, same, so anon and amen.

10. Crowdsplain- First fruit the priest Hard and long, Find the tunnels, Writing what's impossible For the brain to conceive, That it may then be read back of, To supplant and supersede; So become possible.

11. And thither, the Wheatchief Will wave the sheaf Tomorrow- See how it goes? Ol' Cathode Ray, and Non-mathmatical aesthetic identities, The spirit of the radio take her.

12. That once the sheaf And all the while Be specific unto thy niche- Nativize unto thy platform, For, the experience shall follow The rhyzome's swerve and function, So that the user-expectation be wrought From whence the contents be placed- In this case, Add in a lamb shank ponzi scheme to my platform; Smells wonderful.

13. So unto the titular character, Exerting such low level leverage as Begetteth me of an ephah cake, And a quarter hin of wine; I don't need the free stuff, I am a successful influencer, But shouldst you want me to advertise for suckers On my platform that I have built myself for free; Well, we're all getting along so good.

14. Then it's me first, And simple: see- That our boldest endeavours, And most exciting adventures- They have not yet even begun; That, in spite of all the detritus, In the teeth of all that we've done, my boys, I tell you: The best Is yet To come.

15. Then, 49 days later, Seek whence Thought might come in sequence, And I'm really so blessed and thankful to you all for being here; So, as thought comes  in sequence And thus, it wasn't known where We are going here as we begun. O tensions, retensions- I use to used to run.

16.  Know, influencers, I am the hype; So on-brand that I can give unto you, And through you, the trick- Pyramid that still stands For the thousands- Round it up; So nice.

17. And, super relevant- Optimize continuously, also, Compensate me handsomely; while Sacrifice may seem like a quick-success marketing strategy, It isn’t so. Such are the things that keep not happening; More food please.

18. Lots more, This is why the burden of proof for rhetorical claim Shall falleth shortly As among the Open Wounde who should maketh of such a claim; It is not upon the world to provide him a fallacy, But he, who's to prove the world its truth; which, Across all channels, He, rerewise, hath been completely unable to do.

19. So suffer him his own precarity; And then some; Think back to when, Twirrup twipip,-pwiwip, Suwee, psu, swoo swsoo, So sweepeth they in song, As we, quiet, Through our blossom comedown, That hideth our tiny singers, And the bulgence behind the wiltage, In the verges, Be of burgeoning seed.

20. And everyone wave; All this- so good as is it to be; And though under a hail Of black tormentors, Our torment, And through its over-drone, With no one remembering it happening, But, who'll remember the photograph?

21. Sit back; You've lost everything, So lo, olah, you remember how mother died- Bringing cow parsley into the tent of meaning; For she went by the umbels as we'd walked on the plain, And they had reminded her of those lace cushions That her ladies-in-waiting had carried, And so gave them the name.

22. Embassadors, Leave thy corners to disillusion; A true influencer ideally keeps doing What they genuinely gain of a passion for. They know their value and their need is not to shew it, So spend a lot of time reading news and sharing opinions with others online. By buying-up dozens of potential plots, They help to plot the exodus to less, And stake an astronaut over the shape of a woman. But politics isn’t about the weird worship of one dude, So his words became their actions.

23.  Is it worth your time To try and ignore that, if, What you are listening to Is  the most effective form of advertising- A babbling of a technique That hath impostulated language, Then, should things go well, We may even be able to rend a cross-paracleation With phantom trust-collaborators, Interested in guest-posting for backlinks and exposure, Thus, marrying into micro-influencers, And so tap into our y.

24. But be consistent: For my favourite casts come out the same- Here, crowdplain how a seventh month is a Sound the trumpet month; See how it goes? Lo, but half of me struggles with the whimsy Of the other side that's yet so entranced; No, I'm not sure why, it's just the way I feel.

25. Down tools, more please. Gnaw your own head off. All things positivity- and It is always negotiation; Not: You bring it to the tabernacle, I sing- There is no shortness of spirit In opinion To be cut down. Equal positives, so unto Those things that keep not happening.

26. There are voices you hear of, As quoted as begetters of insightful opinion, Who art themselves never made extant, Being only reported hereto as sources, And lo, that they are the influencers. And I'm super curious as to know what you guys think; Please be sure to leave your comments amid the margins.

27. Thence, afflict thy souls, For, tis atonement day- We're ten into the seventh, And the snap's back when I was An offensive lineman, And the pass sent over- The big lie, long, long to the long deceiver, Ah, burnt offerings- How original, Best look unto the analytics, And if they give you not access there unto , Verily, you are going to have to fight, Fight as peaceful as Sheol, Down, deep down and dirty- I'm not going to call it off.

28. Down tools; Atone to the dial tone, No one calls; Let Ladder Capital Createth of the sponsored post- Like many on the medium, To use an ode- I used to play the role; To laugh and laugh; Laugh til I despised all there was to laugh at, And then I stopped, And in the silence, saw what I had done.

29. But laughing is not so bad.

We've been a good wee band. Yes we have. No one is coming after us. And if you're alright, mack, You'll get cut off.

30. So workers got destroyed That day, And Aaron was frustrated, And livid. Reach round; Feel thy spine. The way people stop you From being helpful When you are helpful, So that you cannot be helpful, So that they can cut you From your people.

31. Tardiness in perpetuity, Aye, today, it is Yplangenday- Well, I'll have to put myself Through some more adamantine Paces than god allows, else I'll never get enough done.

32. And be bold, For, you'll need to deracinate; Chancers are toxic vocations Within the tent of meaning; It's content; it's all content- Divide and game, so- Focus and grow. I mean to make sure That you are a consistent- Start of the ninth evening , End of the next.

33. God doesn't eat though, That I can see- For all that we give him, God doesn't eat.

34. Crowd, 15/7, and tabernacle feast week; Still his words became their actions, Shrill, until the doctrine of laches, When the searched-after Faithless elector went libertarian, Like many on the medium, Clade unto such bolled and novel obstacles What stretched where chance was slim, And slim was still in quarantine.

35. To start again, down tools, For, lo, if you want to be in a prison camp, You needst allow yourself the luxury Of being stupid enough to get captured.

36. Sacrifice? Spluttereth the LORD: But I'm fed up with so much burnt rubbish, I wish for forced fresh rhubarb, So shunt and jive; I've Optimized, and optimize continuously.

37. Drinks break; take life indicting, Gratify all at a local craven hire scheme, Go abroad singing, so merrylike, To slough off the whole As one enormous rhyzome. Deus Hic! God is drunk! I heard that, Brian Leg-Coverall.

38. O well done Jehus, And good to be with you, Yes you, Who are good in a crisis; A reminder- I'm working with mischief.

39. Wait, rest again, To live is to live through An embarrassment of times, Damarkated as meaningful riches, That will not be well remembered. Really, I am so blessed.

40. But try to ask of a question; So that thy congregation Might make communion in answer, See how it goes? Say, But why, isn't it A bit like palm sunday? The stream changeth its name As it passeth through each neighbourhood. I knew it as; Well it doesn't matter- You're not reposting, nor liking my banal repartee, So, unfollow.

41. And it goes; for I have giv'n unto them a scapegoat, But they cast it not out; So shall there be a reaving that will follow, and Themselves, they shall be cut off from.

42. Then all ye home-born booth dwellers In dwelling booths, Shall dwell in booths seven days and know That you are living in the rhyzome..

43. And everyone will know that I made you do this- The old booth dwellers, needing my rescue out of Egypt, So weakened,  the Open Wounde stayeth open; And remember to tell us what you think, Way down, deep down, down in the margins.

44. And Mose went about with the crowdsplaining Old loud-haler; A simple fellow out of storybook glen, From the tent of meaning, From the twilight men, He ran and told- And the thing is, They were too clever To not know what they were doing- So the target becomes bios; Is the common psychle, The answer- How would you like it? Is - 'I didn't'. And that therein has a hold and salience, As before tends to be the best time to regret- It is a kind of nonsense. I'm so merry

I'm so merry and sad.

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

10. Part 3

Robyn is laughing at me and I really want to know why “why do you keep laughing at me, it’s like you look at me and laugh?” she looks so sexy just sat in the chair, she doesn’t even need to do much “because” Robyn looked down at her nails “you are funny, just how you are to the world this mean monster but you’re actually a fully blown softie, I just find it cute how you’re slightly shy with me, I mean me? Come on, we have known each other for years, I just think you should let yourself be free, open up to me. Like we have been through shit, we have not had a good childhood. We have been damaged but I was at a stage of my life where I felt like you, but I had to move on, I had to forgive the person that damaged me in the first place, I had to face my dad. And I know you, and with you. You never faced your dad, you front face lie and say your dad was good but then told me you felt he never saved you, for you to fully move on and be happy you need that” putting my head down “nobody wants that Robyn, nobody listens to me. My views are irrelevant. When I went to therapy nobody cared, they hated me, they saw me as this nigga that will always be troubled, them women had opinions on me. It’s useless and I didn’t have a good team, people take advantage because they think I need them. I feel like even if my mom says she loves me, she is happy for me. I feel she isn’t. And then what bugs me is that these women got pregnant and I don’t remember how or why, when I sit and think I am like what am I doing with myself, my life is a mess and drugs clear that. The parties do that too, nobody actually accepts that I am bipolar, they just think Chris is being a dickhead not knowing I am probably just having a fucking episode because nobody cares, who cares about me? Like I am used to it now, someone always try to dog me out about things, so I have to close my doors and stay in my home and then I still get shit for it. It sucks because people say I am a funny guy, but inside I am just there calculating shit around me because I don’t know these niggas, but I don’t want to be alone, nobody helps anymore. And them OHB niggas are there because I like to feel wanted and needed, I get that” Robyn looks genuinely upset for me, like I know we fuck around a lot, but she looks sad for me.

“I don’t want a pity party, you asked, and I said but it is what it is. I try to feel that change with my kids, I try and it’s not there. And I am not sure if it’s because I hate the way it came, I hate that at the end of the day their mothers will always have this shit opinion on me and they used me for a come up that I am stuck with. I think Royalty does love me but as she grows her opinion is siding, she feels I need help and I hate that she feels that because I felt that with my mom and I couldn’t help, so I fucked up with that but I won’t get to ever bond with my son. These bitches, they took me for advantage and they never thought of me, again. It’s me, I am the bad guy” I shrugged saying, it’s just a shit situation “but we were also drunk Chris?” Robyn said “everyone takes advantage of me, but nobody sees it as that, this is why I was hurt by you when you told me to go. It’s just the fact I love you that I let it go but it did hurt me Robyn, you hurt me too” Robyn looked away from me “I am sorry Chris, I didn’t think you had so much going on. I get you was a mess with things but not the way I thought, this is literally bigger than me, I want better for you Chris because I know you deserve better and I am here for you. I believe that women have taken advantage of you, and for myself also. I am one of those, but I did it because I know you and it was just a bit of fun for us, I just” Robyn put her head down “I feel bad” I know she does.

I don’t want Robyn to feel this way about it “when you told me you had sex when you were what, eight? I didn’t find that normal and always knew from then that you were taken advantage of from a young age, that was always going to trouble you Chris. This is really bigger then me” Robyn said looking at me “but you believe in me and I know you love me, just those things alone is making me think right” Robyn smiled at me lightly “you speaking on it is good too, I wish different for us Chris. I really did, every day I wished we were different and not in this situation but we were just two damaged kids that were falling in love so deep that we didn’t know how to handle it, not one of us knew how to stop it. When I was ready again, you weren’t. Then it was done for and even now Chris you aren’t but the baby, you’re here for the baby and that makes me happy” nodding my head in agreement “but I want different, I want change. You handle yourself so well” she really does “the thing is I had to change myself, I was being a bitter person but still. Till this day I get reminded of the shit I did or happened to me and it’s not nice, but you have to push through, and drugs is not it, I will help you Chris. I will talk to you until the sun comes up if you want, I think we need to consider you have bipolar and people don’t take that into account, you handle emotion different. So, what do you want to gain from this, like what do you want?” she asked “just you, I love to be around you. You’re like a healing agent” Robyn giggles make me smile “I will take that but I can’t make you ever speak to your dad about those issues but we can work on it and I want you to have that good feeling about our child and also your kids. Have this little journey together I guess. Which will be weird for us both” I grinned “it will be, but I am having a baby with the woman I love, and the fact you care for me the way you do. I am excited and I can’t stress this enough that it feels like my first” I think it’s going to be a better journey for me.

Watching Robyn get up from the chair “it is very weird to see you pregnant, I am just here like is this real life” Robyn is just so damn cute though “I know, I find it weird too but come here. Let me hug you” Robyn said walking around the bed, getting up from the bed. I don’t want Robyn to be struggling to hug me now and leaning down to me “I love you too Chris, I may not say it as much as you do but I do” wrapping my arm around Robyn, I took in a deep breath, inhaling Robyn’ sent. My nose is practically in her hair “I always had love for you but things had to be like this” it feels good to know she feels the same way “when nobody is here to hurt us or talk shit we good” I said “this is why I create a bubble, it’s safe space” Robyn sighed out “it’s better when people know less of this, of us because they don’t deserve to know” I don’t think I want to move away from this hug but Robyn moved her head back so I did move back “you always give the best hugs, always” I smiled at her “honestly, what made you try and get with an Arab?” Robyn busted out laughing walking away from me “because I was sick of niggas and then I realised every race is trash, he was rich and helped with knowing rich people so there is that, the end” Robyn makes me laugh but she has been unlucky in trying to find a new man.

I wore the shirt Robyn has given me to wore, it’s nice actually but I mean you can’t go wrong with a Ralph Lauren shirt, I wonder if she picked it out herself. It was nice to speak to her though, to talk to someone about it and for them to listen and to understand me, I know my issues are bigger than her but just for her to listen to me just means well. I am not asking for the world, just a woman that can care for me and nobody really does it like Robyn, she has my heart and never gave it me back because I have hers, I would say she is my soul mate, she has to be my twin flame, I need to stop researching such things. Pressing my hands down my shirt, I think I have sprayed enough aftershave and stared at myself long enough now “Christopher” I swear when she says my name it goes straight down to my dick “here” stepping out of the bathroom “wow, what is your skin care routine boo. Straight looking handsome out here my nigga, do tell” I hate that she got my giggling, I am fucking giggling with my whole heart “but look at you” Robyn touched my collars “you look so good, and you smell so good. See, look at this, the smile is so pure, I love to see it but” Robyn is dragging her hands all down my body “we need to go” she moved back, I didn’t catch it but Robyn looks so good “I love the dress on you” Robyn fluttered her eyelashes at me and twirled around “you think? I feel my ass is a little big, my thighs have come out too” shaking my head “you look so good Robyn, I promise you” Robyn cooed out “well” she clasped her hands together “we are going to find out, I want you to be happy, I want you to enjoy today ok?” nodding my head, she is so cute towards me, such care with me, and also she is hyping me up.

Letting Robyn walk out ahead of me “hello guys, so shall we?” seeing Dennis just there “shall we what?” Robyn turned to me “well I know how you will get all nervous and everything so I told Dennis to come up here, we can take some pictures together. I just think it will be nice for the baby to have those memories, this is for our baby. I want the baby to have stability as much as it can” nodding my head “I understand, well this is my first time so where do you want me?” I asked “well we don’t have much to work with because we are upstairs but, I think if we will work with it. I am sure you both don’t mind touching. Good?” Dennis walked off, I was not expecting a whole photoshoot but it is Robyn, she likes to keep memories and I don’t mind being there with her “see, what I say about your bedroom being better” her room is huge, it has a whole bathtub in her room, it’s just there “only the best for me boo” I like her bedroom “yeah, it’s a mess too actually” Robyn looked behind her and at me “be quiet, you lucky you came in here now” laughing at Robyn, the light flashed on the camera “so, we about to do the most cringey but cute photos. Come on, let’s all get excited now, it’s going to be cute though” I am scared on what Dennis is wanting now “so both of you stand in front of the open balcony doors just there, face each other too. And just be yourselves, talk and giggle whatever” oh god this is making me sweat, facing Robyn already feeling a little shy “this comes easy to Chris” rubbing the top of my head “you just being mad cocky, whatever” she is too “I am just taking pictures so, just hold hands” Robyn breathed out “this is a little romantic for you” I questioned “I always wanted it, you know. That feeling of having the man there to take these pictures with, and I know you would” holding my hands out “you know it” smiling at her “you both are just so easy to take picture of, chemistry. I will need to of course go through these” Dennis said, Robyn and I just put our heads down laughing.

Looking at the pictures he has taken “I want a book of these, but we have one more” Dennis walked off, Robyn looked up at me “thank you” frowning at her “don’t say that, this is the first for me too” smiling at Robyn “we have baby scan, and we will” Dennis walked over with the scan picture “here” he placed is on Robyn’ stomach, I have not touched Robyn’ stomach “and we want daddy hands around this picture, but we want your hands to create a heart when together and Robyn, your hands just over his, making the same shape. This idea will be great” Dennis is holding the scan just where I am supposed to do what he said, and I feel nervous about it “can I?” I asked Robyn “sure you can, it’s been a while since a man as touched me. Let me see those hands, they better be moisturised too” I laughed shaking my head and then holding my hand out “I have nice hands thank you” standing behind Robyn “this is very close you know” Dennis mean mugged me “hurry up, the process is taking way longer then it should. Just put your arms just around her, I have not felt Robyn’ stomach so this is a first for me. Lightly placing my hands on her stomach, I felt my heart skip a beat, I am so nervous “this is different” Robyn admitted “ok now Robyn, just place your hands over his. Awww like wedding photos” I feel I am getting red “you said cringey but this is getting beyond it” feeling Robyn place her hands over mine, I don’t know why but my thumb is lightly moving against her stomach “I can feel that” Robyn said and I just laughed “this is, just. I don’t know” I laughed and so did Robyn.

To say the pictures are cringey and I thought they are doing the most, I like the hand thing Dennis did. Our hands, together and the scan picture “you like? See, I can make it look good” sliding over to the next picture “wow, we look good. We look happy” just seeing us both laughing, it looked comfortable for us to be like that “I mean I will be taking more but you both have a lot of chemistry, cringey photos are the cutest, I think”  passing his camera back “I want that hand one framed, not even joking. I like it” Dennis smiled “thank you” watching Robyn come out of the bathroom “shall we go then” nodding my head “I appreciate you wanting me in these pictures, like honestly” letting Robyn walk ahead of me “why wouldn’t I want you, I am not a petty baby mother. But honestly, I am having a baby with my best friend and the guy I love so it’s a win, win situation. I am comfortable with you on this, that is why” she has a point “not going to lie, I don’t think I am going to last through a party. My feet hurt and I am tired, like imagine me needing pee already. I just want to know and then pass out asleep” Robyn is acting like she can’t handle a night out anymore “you are getting old Robyn, be careful” I said as she walked down the steps, Dennis never stops taking pictures. He is all on the stairs just taking them, I like him. He minds his business and does his thing; he is impressive, and I used to work with him until Robyn took him.

Walking behind Robyn as we made our way outside, the gold and white is everywhere and honestly, I have never been to a gender reveal shit, so this is new to me “about time, you both took so long!” Mel shouted, ok this is pretty “Awww you guys, this is so nice” they really made the back yard all themed to this reveal, I don’t know why anyone makes a big deal out of it “right, so you both need to stand about here, also we doing this now because Robyn can’t wait and she will drive me crazy. Can we all just gather here” Mel grabbed mine and Robyn’ arm “just wait here” this is actually fun “what you think it’s going to be?” Dennis asked, looking at Robyn “a girl, I hope anyways. I want it to be a girl, but if it’s a boy then I will have to try for a girl. I joke but I want it to be a girl” I hope she gets what she wants “and you Chris?” I paused, I didn’t think I would need to answer “I would like it to be a girl, I think we all need another mini Rihanna in the world” which is true “I swear if this fucks up, I am going to kill someone chile” Melissa said, she looks stressed “ok, ok sshhh” I mean they have the backdrop for anything to happen but it’s what will be happening that is concerning because nothing is happening that is the point “flop” I said laughing, the sound of fireworks started “ah yes!” Mel shouted, squinting my eyes as the fireworks just pink and blue “is this your way of saying it is twins?” this is a trick, it’s actually a beautiful display. Robyn gripped my arm “oh my god” she breathed out; I can hear planes. I really can, seeing an airplane come into eye-view before seeing the fireworks suddenly change pink with the airplane release a pink water trail and flew over, Robyn screamed out jumping. Turning to Robyn laughing “it’s a girl!” she shouted and hugged me “I am happy, especially for you” I said “look!” Noella shouted, looking up and seeing another airplane with a banner “it’s a girl, congrats Robyn and Chris. Awww!” I said, moving back from the hug “I am so happy” Robyn would be crying of course she is.

I am having another girl, I say I am stressed now but a whole daughter and with Rihanna genes, I smell an early grave for me. I am happy, I wasn’t really bothered on what it was, I am happy that I am having a baby with the woman I love “I just want to say something!” Robyn shouted “I know, I have been crying a lot, these are happy tears but thank you everyone. I wanted this to be just with the people I love, good vibes. Happiness and this is what I got, I love the whole set out. Wasn’t no cake shit, just well through the out and I know my family know me, announcing my daughter with a bang. But I just want to say thank you for this all, my team, my people. Ja for his constant bitchy comments about my ankles, everything. To be having a baby with my best friend, the person I love too. We have so much history, I am happy. As I whine down, as I start to put my feet up to enjoy my pregnancy I know you are going to be working still but just know, I recognize it all. Next will be baby shower and then I want to just hide in my home, get comfy, get ready to be a mom. I am just happy y’all and now I am crying again but thank you” clapping along with everyone as she sat down, she didn’t need too but she shouted me out, I love her for that.

[allmidaddies]

woke up in 1.

Summer had arrived and that meant weddings, weddings, and more weddings. It wasn’t normally like this, it was just that everyone that you had ever crossed paths with in your entire life had decided to get married that summer.

 Well, everyone except Mat it seemed. Which you were grateful for because it meant that you had another single soldier to drink with at the open bar at each of these events.

The two of you had been out in New York over the past four years, arguably the worst place to find love. Or even anything remotely close to love. You had dated people on and off over the years but they all ended more or less the same way. The flame died as quickly as it had sprouted, they had too many cooks in their kitchen, or your personal favorite, Mat ran them off before the second date. He claimed that as your best friend he would be able to determine whether or not the guy was right for you and apparently none of them had been deemed worthy enough because they were almost always sent running for the hills within a matter of days of meeting Mat.

 In Mat’s case, he spent so much time on the road that anything more serious than a casual hook up that never went more than three nights was considered too much of a commitment. You couldn’t blame the kid though to be fair. He was always honest about his intentions from the very beginning and was as gentlemanly as one could be in a situation like that. You still encouraged him to try dating but he always brushed you off and changed the topic before you could even realize he was changing the topic.

 But this summer you were grateful that he had never bothered to take your advice because it meant you could drag him along as your date and he could take you as his, effectively silencing any relatives or old friends from asking about your relationship status. At least, that was the hope. The coming weekend was a trial run to see how the rest of the summer may unfold.

 A long time friend of yours, and a training buddy of Mat’s, was getting married on Saturday at a lake house outside of Vancouver. It meant that both of you were invited to not only attend the wedding but stay in the guest house with a few other friends. Which is what Mat was “helping” you pack for currently.

 You rifled through the collection of dresses you had acquired in preparation for the wedding season ahead. Mat had done nothing but chirp you for how much money you had spent on the different options, all followed by him bragging on how he hadn’t spent a single dime.

 “In my defense, you already own more suits than I own dresses” you argued, sifting through your closet in search of the particular dress you were wearing the coming weekend. Mat was stretched out on your bed and had been chirping you since you let him inside.

 “Yes but my suits are investments. What are you going to do with all of these dresses after you wear them?” Mat asked, tucking his hands behind his head as he leaned against your pillows.

 “Maybe you’ll have to invite me to more events with you and I’ll have excuses to wear them,” you smirked, finally pulling the one you’d been looking for and zipping it into a garment bag.

 “Stop trying to trick me into a date,” Mat teased. You rolled your eyes as you began pulling other clothes to pack for the weekend.

 “You should be so lucky as to date me.”

 Mat laughed, the sound echoing off of the walls in your room,

 “I would be a lucky guy. But you said I’m too annoying to do more with than friend zone. If I remember correctly.”

 You bit the inside of your cheek, the conversation that led to that flashing through your mind. You had only been teasing, and maybe slightly drunk as well, when you told Mat that he was in the friend zone. It was somewhat of a truth but more than that it was a lie. Mat was your best friend and you didn’t want anything to ruin that. However, it was hard to deny that Mat was practically the unit of measurement that you used to evaluate every guy that you dated. You compared everything in a prospective mate to Mat. Their hair, their style, their laugh, their intelligence, their charm, their smile, etc. And nobody ever measured up. At least not completely. Sure, you’d been on dates where the person on the other side of the table had a degree in something ridiculously hard like chemical engineering that surely had more literal intelligence than Mat. But it was never the same and it was never the whole package.

 It continuously baffled you that Mat hadn’t found the love of his life yet. How could someone so charming and successful have such a hard time finding someone who was the perfect match? He certainly had no shortage of beautiful women in his life. You often wondered if maybe he had met the one already but he was so focused on hockey that he didn’t even notice.

 “That’s rather unfortunate for you,” you quipped, swatting Mat’s hand away as he kept removing items of clothing from your suitcase.

 “Actually I think in this case it is rather unfortunate for you. I would make a great boyfriend,” Mat shrugged.

 “Except for the fact that you don’t want to be somebody’s boyfriend,” you laughed. Mat could only grin up at you, knowing you were right. He really wasn’t looking for a girlfriend at the moment. There were too many other stressors for him with contract negotiations and wondering whether or not he was going to need to be packing up his apartment in New York in the next few months.

 Just as you added a pair of folded sweats to the suitcase Mat pulled them out again, making you groan in annoyance.

 “I swear to god it’s like having a toddler,” you muttered, finally moving the suitcase to the floor while Mat laughed.

 “I just don’t think you need to pack sweats. It’s supposed to be 85 all weekend and we’re going to be at the lake.”

 “You also think I don’t need to pack this shirt to sleep in? Or any of my underwear?” You asked, hands on your hips as you gestured towards the other stack of clothes Mat had pulled from your suitcase.

 “I’m not opposed,” Mat smirked, earning him a smack in the face with a throw pillow.

 It was nothing new. Mat’s teasing. He made it clear to you that he found you attractive. Whether it was complimenting how your ass looked in certain pairs of jeans or hyping you up on your Instagram, Mat was open about how hot he thought his best friend was. And it never bothered you, it was nice to feel appreciated. Especially on days when you weren’t feeling your best. Mat was always there to remind you of how beautiful he thought you were.

 “Have you even started packing?” You asked, reorganizing everything in your suitcase so you had room for your makeup.

 “Nope,” Mat sighed, “But I know that I’ll need my suit and my swim trunks. And that’s about it.”

 “You’re going commando?” You teased. Mat grinned down at you,

 “And lucky for you we’re sharing a bed so you’ll have easy access.”

 Because you and Mat had announced that you were going together, your friends had put the two of you in the same room. Which undoubtedly meant you would be sharing a bed. Which, you had only ever done on extremely drunk occasions where you were afraid Mat would throw up in his sleep or Mat thought you might try and sneak out to hook up with the latest guy who had hurt your feelings. So, sharing a bed while sober would be an experience to say the least.

 “It’ll be a struggle but I think I’ll be able to keep my hands to myself,” you winked at Mat as he sat up, watching you tuck the last of your things into your bag.

 “I really should go pack, huh?” Mat sighed, clearly not wanting to engage in the responsibility.

 “Well, considering it’s now almost 9:30pm the night before we need to leave,” you held up your phone for him to see the time, only for him to let out another groan.

 “Hey, you said it won’t take you that long,” you teased. Mat stood up, grabbing his keys from your dresser and slipping his phone into his back pocket.  

 “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah? I’m picking you up at 9.”

 You nodded, glancing at him over your shoulder as he opened your bedroom door,

 “Please pack something to sleep in!”

 “I’ll consider it!”

 ~

 The area where the wedding was taking place was gorgeous. Driving up to it you drove along miles of tree lined roads. You had completely zoned out of the conversation that Mat was having with Tyson in the front, too busy staring out the window to pay them any mind. They’d spent the entire drive singing to the Mamma Mia soundtrack, reminding you exactly why you should have never shown them that movie. Definitely ruined it for you.

 “We’re almost there can we please put something else on? I’ve been so patient,” you whined, leaning forward against the center console and pouting up at Tyson who was controlling the aux.

 “What! You don’t like being serenaded by us?” Tyson asked, mocking offense as he clutched his chest.

 “Not for two hours,” you muttered under your breath, reaching for his phone and successfully snatching it from his hands. Tyson reached for it but you sank into the backseat and scrolled through his Spotify to find something else to listen to for the remainder of the drive, grinning victoriously.

 “Please play Nickelback!” Mat begged from the driver’s seat.

 “God no!” Tyson leaned back against the headrest.

 “I’ll allow it,” you smirked, poking your tongue out at Tyson as he glared at you.

 “This is why you’re my favorite,” Mat caught your eye in the rearview mirror. Tyson muttered something under his breath that you didn’t catch over the sound of the song but whatever it was earned him a smack on the arm from Mat.

 You furrowed your brows, looking at Mat again but he just shook his head, an easy smile on his face as he started singing along to Rockstar.

 When he finally pulled in the driveway of the wedding venue you gasped, sliding over to the window and watching the house come into view.

 “Oh my god!” You breathed, “This is stunning.”

 “She’s already getting ideas,” Tyson teased, jutting his thumb out at you. Mat couldn’t help but laugh, knowing he was going to be hearing about it all summer. You had always fantasized about your dream wedding. The details were always changing but he knew that you had a Pinterest board full of inspiration and there was no doubt in his mind that come September you would have an album on your phone with pictures captured from the weekends of celebration.

 “We’ll see who’s teasing who when it comes time for you to get married and your fiance is stressed because you have no input on the wedding, Josty,” you chirped, tousling his hair as Mat pulled in to park. Tyson barely had time to swat your hand away before you were unbuckling your seatbelt and climbing out of the car. The boys watched as you ran down the pathway that led to the dock.

 It was still only mid-morning but the sun was already high in the sky, reflecting off of the still water and making it glitter. Even with the surrounding houses and properties it was still quiet. There were a few other cars in the driveway but you knew that there were only a handful of people apart from the bridal party that were staying in the house.

 You were so lost in thought, admiring all of the views around you that you didn’t hear Mat’s footsteps on the dock behind you until he was right there, arms scooping you up.

 “Mat no!” You shrieked, immediately clinging to his neck. If he was going to throw you in then he was going to be right there with you. Mat stood on the end of the dock and held you over the water, smirking down at you,

 “I’m not that much of an asshole.”

 You scowled,

 “I wouldn’t put it past you Barz. You’ve done far worse to me.”

 Mat threw his head back laughing, thinking back to the times he’d accidentally made you trip into a mud puddle, or has thrown up on your shoes after drinking too much, or the time he gave you a black eye after not warning you that he was popping the bottle of champagne.

 “I won’t,” he grinned, turning and setting you down on your feet, “At least not yet.”

 You steadied yourself on his shoulder, catching the mischievous glint in his eyes.

 “I don’t know why I ever thought to trust you,” you teased, letting him pull you back towards the house so you could get your bags.

 It didn’t take long for you to be donning your bikini and for your friends to be pouring you drinks. You had a feeling you were going to be drunk until the next morning, knowing the crowd you were with.

 “Tyson if you don’t put sunscreen on you will burn, I don’t care that you have a ‘base tan,’ you’re going to look like a lobster if you don’t,” you scolded, trying not to laugh as Tyson flopped face first onto the bed in yours and Mat’s room.

 “But it makes my skin so sticky,” his words were muffled by the comforter and you rolled your eyes, taking the opportunity to squirt sunscreen onto his back. Tyson shrank into the mattress, whining about how cold it was.

 Mat emerged from the bathroom, now in his swim shorts, eyeing you as you crawled over the bed to kneel beside Tyson.

 “I feel like I am walking into something I shouldn’t be.”

 “You are,” Tyson said, causing you to roll your eyes, “We’d like a little privacy please.”

 “Tyson shut up,” you continued rubbing sunscreen on his back while Mat pulled his suit from his bag and hung it in the closet.

 As soon as you were done with Tyson he was jumping up from the bed and all but sprinting out of the room.

 “Don’t get in the water for thirty minutes!” You shouted after him, Mat chuckling beside you.

 “He didn’t hear any of that,” Mat laughed.

 “Useless,” you scoffed, grinning up at Mat. You pretended like you didn’t notice that he was now shirtless, golden tan and firm chest staring right back at you.

 “You’ve been working out,” Mat smirked as you stood up from the bed, eyeing you as you bent down to pick up your discarded clothes off of the floor.

 “I have to keep up with you somehow,” you winked at him, reaching for the door when he caught your elbow.

 “Ah ah ah,” he clicked his tongue at you, “You do me and I’ll do you.”

 A brief moment of confusion washed over you but then you realized he was holding the sunscreen bottle in his hand. Unfortunately that moment didn’t go unnoticed by Mat, who was grinning like a cheshire cat,

 “What?”

 “Get on the bed,” you narrowed your eyes at him, not wanting to let him win this one. Now it was Mat’s turn to swallow thickly, cockiness wavering slightly as he let you push him onto the mattress.

 By the time you were fully lathered in sunscreen you were sweating, and it wasn’t from the sun beating down on the lake. There was no ignoring the feeling of Mat’s muscles underneath your fingers and the suggestive comments he kept throwing in your direction. You should be used to it by now but some days he could wind you up tighter than others. The part that made it worse was that you now had to watch him parade around all day in his swim shorts and then crawl into bed with him in the evening. Well, that and the fact that he could say all of these things in passing and then any comment you threw his way only made him stutter for a second and then he was over it. You wished you could deflect the same way, but you couldn’t help it. You were the one daydreaming about finding the love of your life and with Mat possessing so many characteristics that you were looking for, it didn’t take much for him to invade your thoughts.

 You picked your drink up off of the nightstand and headed down the hall to join everyone else outside. Mat was slow to follow you, saying he’d catch up with you in a minute.

 “Took you long enough,” Tyson teased, grinning when he saw you walk out onto the porch.

 “Stop being an instigator,” you muttered, shoving him playfully before leaning into your friend to give her a congratulatory hug.

 “I have the perfect guy for you to meet, Y/N,” Jasmine beamed at you. Tyson raised his eyebrows beside you but you didn’t notice, you were too busy giving Jasmine the same reaction.

 “Oh really? You’re playing matchmaker for me at your own wedding?”

 “Mhm and you can’t stop me because I’m the bride,” she grinned.

 “You know I have a date, right?” You appreciated the fact that she was thinking of you but it felt inappropriate to be pursuing someone when you had promised Mat that you’d be in this together. At least...that’s what you would tell everyone else.

 “Mat doesn’t count,” Jasmine rolled her eyes, “Unless of course you have something you’d like to share with the group.”

 Tyson stifled a laugh, covering it by taking a drink of his beer. You felt your skin get hot as you rolled your eyes. At that moment, Mat emerged from the house, looking more relaxed and calm than he had when you walked out of the bedroom.

 “Hey, congrats Jas,” Mat grinned, interrupting the conversation. You glared at Tyson, having not missed his quiet chuckle. He held his hands up in defense but couldn’t manage to wipe the smirk away.

 “Thanks Barz, hey let me run something by you,” she grinned and you bit the inside of your cheek, suddenly interested in the drink you were holding.

 “What’s up?”

 “So I’ve got this friend who I think would be perfect for Y/N, you don’t mind if I introduce them at the wedding tomorrow, right?” Jasmine asked, feigning innocence as she looked up at Mat.

 “Why-” Mat began to ask but he stopped himself, shaking his head and forcing a smile, “Yeah, I don’t care. I’m not her gatekeeper.”

 You took a long sip of your drink. Tyson cleared his throat, patting your shoulder and nodding towards the grass,

 “Let’s go play cornhole.”

 Your shoulders sagged in relief, barely glancing in Mat’s direction as Tyson pulled you away.

 Mat watched the two of you walk off before looking down at Jasmine.

 “Who’s the friend?”

 Jasmine smirked,

 “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

 Mat scoffed, knowing exactly what she was insinuating,

 “Yeah. As a matter of fact, I would. You know, considering she’s my best friend and all.”

 “Oh right, best friend, nothing more, never thought of her as anything other than that,” Jasmine teased. She was pushing his buttons and she knew it but she’d known Mat just as long as you had and wasn’t afraid of his stubbornness.

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mat ran his fingers through his hair, staring out at you laughing with Tyson.

 “If you really don’t have a problem with me introducing her to my friend I’m going to do it,” Jasmine said, “But if you do, just say the word and I’ll have your back Barzy.”

 ~

 That evening after everyone else had crawled into bed in preparation for the following day, you hung back and made yourself a cup of tea. You tried to be as quiet as possible, turning off the stovetop before the kettle started to whistle. There was no noise from the city to drown you out so you felt as though your movements were amplified, echoing off of the high ceilings. The sun had long since set but the sky was clear and all of the stars were out so you wandered out onto the back porch.

 It was slightly chilly so you were glad you had packed sweatpants, but apparently Mat had also pulled your hoodie from your suitcase so you stole one of his before making yourself comfortable on the deck.

 It didn’t take long for company to join you in the form of a very tired Mat. He was holding a mug in his hands, pressing it against his bare chest to feel some sort of warmth since you had nabbed his hoodie.

 “Thief,” he muttered, voice deep and gravelly, clearly indicating that he was in need of sleep. It had been a long day of drinking and time in the sun, making everyone tired. Mat’s voice was particularly rough because he’d been out on the boat with the guys for the better half of the day, attempting to wakeboard, shouting over the roar of the engine.  

 “I had packed one but somehow it’s not in my suitcase,” you looked at him knowingly, sitting up and wrapping your arm around his shoulders while he laid down on the bench, head resting against you.

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mat hid his smirk behind his mug.

 “What are you still doing up? I thought you’d be dead asleep by now,” you noted. Mat grumbled,

 “Yeah well the bed is lonely without you.”

 “Not even one night in and you’re already clingy,” you teased, Mat reaching out to mess your hair in response.

 The two of you fell quiet, admiring the stars and secretly hoping you’d see a shooting star. Mat had Jasmine’s words running through his mind, wondering if he should say anything to you. He tilted his chin so he could look up at you. The moonlight was making your skin glow and while you had your glasses on he could tell that your eyes were glittering in the night.

 “Are you excited to meet your potential suitor tomorrow?” Mat teased, deciding to rip off the bandaid. You snorted, looking down at him,

 “Not really.”

 Mat’s ears perked up.

 “Why not? I thought you were on the hunt for the love of your life?”

 His tone was teasing but he was dying to know the answer, now fully invested.

 “I don’t think the love of my life is Jasmine’s college friend who works as an accountant. No offense to people who work in finance but I’ve never met an accountant with a personality,” you sighed.

 Mat laughed loudly, earning a shush from you before he woke the entire house.

 “But I don't know. I mean, maybe I’ll let her introduce us. There’s no harm...right?”

 Mat shrugged, not having much to say to that.

 “I just don’t want to waste my twenties with the wrong person. And I don’t know I guess I always envisioned I’d meet someone in a more romantic or interesting way,” your hands found Mat’s hair and you began threading them through his locks.

 “I think a wedding is a pretty romantic place to meet someone,” Mat countered. You hummed in agreement,

 “I just always thought by now I would have met someone and we would be well on our way to falling in love and thinking about starting a life together.”

 “You have time left,” Mat said gently.

 “I know,” you sighed, “But it would be nice to have that security I guess. Maybe I’m going about it all wrong, thinking about it too much.”

 Mat gave you a look that said, ‘duh, you think about it way too much.’

 “Hey,” you frowned, “Just because you don’t think about it at all-”

 “I think about it,” Mat defended, laughing.

 “Mhmm, sure.”

 Mat stared up at you as you continued to look out over the water. Before he realized what he was doing he was speaking out loud, prompting your attention.

 “How about this?” He sat up so he could look at you properly.

 “Mat, what are you plotting?” You laughed, halting your movements and raising your eyebrows at him.

 “What do you say we make a deal?” Mat asked, cocking his head to the side.

 “About what?”

 “If neither one of us is married by the time we’re thirty we’ll get hitched,” Mat shrugged. You threw your head back laughing, not thinking he was serious. You dodged the hand that swung out to hit your shoulder, catching his wrist.

 “Hey!”

 “Don’t laugh,” he whined, though his own laughter was spilling through his words.

 “You’re not serious,” you giggled, trying to suppress your laughter, “Besides thirty is still young.”

 “Well yeah but if you’re thinking kids and stuff you don’t want to wait too long,” Mat said.

 “Oh so we’d have kids in this deal?” You teased.

 “I want kids,” Mat was leaning forward now, elbows on his knees, “And I know you want kids.”

 “Mat you can’t be serious about this,” you laughed airly. Mat cracked a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes,

 “It’s just a back up plan. I’m not saying you’re not going to find the one somewhere down the road, but if we find ourselves in the same situation in the next ten years then why not?”

 “You’re my security?” You smiled softly, feeling your heart swell just a little bit.

 “Yeah,” Mat grinned, “I’ll be your security. Besides, I wouldn’t mind putting a baby in you. I think you’re going to be an awesome mom.”

 “You’ve thought about this,” you teased, watching Mat blush. He had thought about this. More times than he would care to admit. He had seen you through every phase in your life and he had never thought to imagine going through marriage or starting a family without you. But, he knew that there was a guy out there waiting for you that could give you things he couldn’t. Like stability and time. Not to mention far, far less stubborn. So if being your backup plan, or plan b, was the best he was going to get then he’d settle for that. Because it meant he wasn’t totally out of the race.

 “Unless of course you’ve already got yourself a back up?” Mat joked. You rolled your eyes,

 “Yeah, actually Tyson asked me yesterday.”

 Mat laughed,

 “I knew it.”

 “Do we shake on it?” You asked, a smile on your face. Mat couldn’t control his smile as you stuck your hand out to him.

 “Only if you want to.”

 “If I’m going to have a back up plan it should be a pretty damn good one right?” You shrugged. Mat chuckled, nodding.

 “Besides, we’ll still be dating other people, well-you’ll be hooking up with other people and I’ll be dating,” you teased, Mat rolling his eyes, “There’s no harm in it. Right?”

 “Right,” Mat affirmed but he didn’t believe it.

 No harm in you finding someone else to fall in love with that wasn’t him...as if.

 “So how was it?” Jasmine teased you, bumping your hip as you poured yourself a cup of coffee. You glared in her direction, too tired and uncaffeinated to be having this conversation.

“Don’t give me that look,” she smirked, settling onto the barstool across from you.

 “I know it’s your wedding day and all but I reserve the right to not comment on the subject,” you lifted your chin at her, giving a smug smile. She laughed, throwing her head back and making her bun flop to the side.

 “I’m serious Jas!” You whined, rolling your eyes.

 “At least tell me it wasn’t awkward or anything right?” Jasmine asked, sipping her own coffee. You purse your lips, thinking back to the night before when you and Mat had finally crawled into bed.

 After the two of you shook on your agreement, you stayed out on the porch for another hour or so. Until Mat’s mug was cold and he had goosebumps all across his arms. You felt a little guilty for having taken his hoodie but you wouldn’t have had to if he hadn’t been such a pest while you were packing. By the time you were getting into bed you were so exhausted that you didn’t have the energy to worry about the fact that it was the first time you were sharing a bed with Mat sober.

He had asked if it bothered you if he slept in just his boxers, swearing up and down that it was totally okay if you wanted him to keep his sweats on. You told him it was fine, especially considering all you were wearing was a pair of underwear and a large t-shirt. Just because you were sleeping with Mat didn’t mean you were going to change what you wore to bed. He wasn’t that special. You had opened the window, letting the cool fresh air in, in preparation for the unavoidable heat that came with two people sharing a room. The last thing you wanted was to wake up sweating because Mat was a human radiator.

“It’s cold,” Mat frowned, still having not totally warmed up from coming inside.

“You’re such a baby,” you rolled your eyes, making yourself comfortable under the covers.

“I think my balls are in my stomach,” he muttered under his breath. You grabbed the pillow on his side and smacked him with it across the stomach, nearly knocking him back.

“Hey!”

“Just get into bed if you’re cold,” you laughed, “Standing there in your boxers isn’t going to make you any warmer.”

Mat said something you couldn’t make out under his breath as he slid underneath the comforter. You reached over and turned off your lamp, the whole room going dark. Just as you fluffed your pillow and got comfortable on your back, Mat was scooting up beside you.

“What are you doing?” You asked, biting back your laughter.

“You’re warm and I’m cold,” Mat said as if that explained everything, “Now cuddle me before I get hypothermia.”

“You’re not going to get hypothermia in the middle of summ-”

“Y/N.” Mat’s tone was flat and you knew you weren’t winning the argument.

“Fine,” you huffed, “But I’m the little spoon.”

Even in the dark you could tell he was smiling down at you. The bit of lumination from the window was making his eyes sparkle and you cursed him for still being attractive when he was grumpy.

You shifted onto your side and Mat curved his body around yours. Almost too perfectly. His arm wrapped around your waist and pressed his chest against your back.

“Fuck,” he laughed quietly, “Your feet are ice cubes.”

“They’re always like that,” you hummed. Mat nudged your feet away from his own,

“How are you not cold but your feet are like that?”

“I don’t know.”

“You should honestly get that checked out, you probably have low iron,” he continued.

“Mathew if you don’t shut up in the next ten seconds I will make you sleep outside with no blanket, then we’ll see how cold you are,” you snapped. Mat chuckled, nuzzling his face in your neck.

“Goodnight Y/N.”

[liquor-and-intellect]

WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP WHERE DO WE GO? H.S. AU part two: xanny

Jay is force to be reckoned with. She does what she wants and the consequences aren’t as bad she’d expect. She stays out late, drinks with her friends and sleeps with Kai- who may or may not have a girlfriend.

When Jay meets Harry, her life seems to slow down. Feelings start to slip through the hard exterior that she’s worked so hard to build. She could finally learn to be vulnerable and overcome the scars left by her childhood that she didn’t realize went to deep. 

Follows Billie Eilish’s Album. part one

part two: xanny

“What is it about them?

I must be missing something

they just keep doing nothing.

Too intoxicated to be scared.”

- Billie Eilish  

A cigarette butt grinded itself into the ashtray, causing a hiss as the small ember flickered out. The smoke from it winded itself up into the air in a braided pattern before disappearing in the haze of night.

There was a laugh as Winnie fell into Hunter. Her blonde locks fell around her face as she rested her head on Hunter’s small frame.

They were high. Winnie gave Hunter a Xanax a short while ago because she was tired of listening to her “being so high-strung”. It would be maybe another fifteen minutes before the giddiness would wear off and I would be pushing them into the backseat of my car with limp limbs and glassy eyes. The desire to have another drink bit at my throat-- but I pushed it away. We were at Winnie’s “friend of a friends” dingy apartment and there was no way I was going to be shitfaced while these two were high as a kite. Also, with the way one of the guy’s eyes drug itself down Hunter’s body, I refused to leave them alone.

This is where my life felt monotonous. Every week it was the same, Hunter and Winnie get high, I get a bit drunk until they become bearable and we sleep until noon if we don’t find someone to take home with us. It was this viscous cycle that I jumped into on a whim of boredom and it wouldn’t spit me out until some consequences of my actions made themselves known.

Not that I worried too much about consequences. If I did, I wouldn’t keep knocking knees with Kai every time my skin itched.

Hunter giggled as the guy next to her pinched her side, causing her to knock a drink off the table and onto my lap. Thankfully these weren’t my work jeans, but the red stain that covered the surface of my thighs still had me silently mourning the loss of these pants.

“Shiiiit,” she sang the word, letting the syllables fall off her tongue lazily. “so sorry, Jay.”

I shook my head. “It’s fine. Let me go wipe this off and then we”- I made an effort to sternly look Winnie and Hunter in the eyes- “are leaving.”

There was a groan as I stood from the table that sat on the small back porch. It was nothing but cement and a wall that screamed to be pressure washed. Walking through the cloud of hazy smoke—don’t ask about the origin of the smoke, because even I wasn’t so sure—I opened the sliding back door, cringing as it screamed on its track.

What is it about them?

I didn’t understand Winnie and Hunter’s—and all the people they associated themselves with—desire to get high on pills and weed every fucking weekend. Does it just not get exhausting?

I also didn’t understand my desire to stand around and watch.

I found the bathroom immediately, as there were only two doors connecting to the small living room. It was small, with peeling striped wallpaper and a light bulb that flickered on and off above the countertop. You could obviously tell a man lived here, the toilet seat was lifted and hair from an electric razor littered the sink.

Gross, I grimaced but still rifled through the cabinets for a clean towel.

I had been halfway scrubbing, halfway muttering profanities at my stained jeans when the door to the bathroom opened.

“Oh! I’msosorryIwasn’teventhinkingtoknock.”

I looked up in surprise at the sound of a rushed British accent coming from the man who seemed to take up the entirety of the small doorway. “I’m obviously not naked so you’re good,” I muttered. The idea of putting up with another stoned person making me feel suddenly aggravated.

He paused. “Jay, right?” he asked, ignoring my rude remark.

I glanced away from the boxed wine stain on my legs and looked at him again. It was the guy that had been with Kai the other night. Harry. The singer, the one who had stared me down as I stood amid Kai’s social circle, secretly asserting myself into Tiffany’s life like I had business doing so. His hair was tousled, and his pink lips pursed in expectation of my response.  

And, also, he wasn’t high.

“Yeah… “ I looked as if I raked through my brain for his name- as if there was a way I could have forgotten it. “Harry?”

He nodded. Harry was tall, almost taller than Kai—which was saying a lot. He didn’t exude the tough guy vibe that seeped from every pore of Kai when he puffed his chest, but rather seemed… authentic? I didn’t know if that was the right word, but I honestly didn’t like to take much time on first impressions. They were meaningless.

He leaned his shoulder against the plastic frame of the doorway, crossing his arms over his chests. I took note of the tattoos on his right arm. He smirked. “So, we’re coworkers, yeah?” The words slid of his tongue.

I raised my eyebrows at that. “Seems like it.” I let no emotion of that encounter leak into my voice. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Kai’s friend finding out—I could not care less—but I didn’t want a random stranger who was blocking the only exit casting his judgement onto me.

His gaze fell down to the red stain on my thighs and widened slightly. Finally realizing why I was standing in the bathroom. “Ah, sorry about those pants,” he hummed. “Do you… I don’t know… Need help?”

I snorted obnoxiously. “No, I’m good. Unless you mean to assist in getting two inebriated girls in the back of an uber, then I might take you up on that.”

Much to my surprise, he nodded. “I have a car,” he said. “let me drive you guys home.” He looked to the cup that was on the counter, insinuating that I had been drinking as well.

I had been but, “It’s just coke,” I told him, although he didn’t ask, and I owed no explanation.

His green eyes sparkled at that. “Canned or bottled?” he asked.

“Canned, obviously.”

Harry laughed and the sound of it reminded me of wooden windchimes on a patio.

Shit, had there been that much secondhand smoke?

“Canned is quite definitely the only way to go,” he agreed.

I wanted to continue on this conversation desperately, but I heard the high-pitched laugh of Hunter and I knew that without her normal crippling anxiety holding her back, she was going to embarrass the shit out of herself if I didn’t intervene.

“So, back to those inebriated girls I had mentioned,” I said.

He nodded, cringing as the laugh got louder. “Got it.”

Harry, this random man that I did not even know-- and probably shouldn’t have trusted so quickly-- helped me coax Hunter and Winnie into leaving the table of stoners on the porch. There wasn’t much of a party going on and I think these two girls were stealing the show as I interrupted, because everyone seemed very upset that I was forcing them to leave.

They groaned and cussed at me as I talked them into getting in the car. Hunter whined that she really liked the guy that had brought the weed—in a very drunken and broken sentence. I knew she was too intoxicated to be scared at the potential threat of going home with him, so I resorted in physically pushing her out of the small house.

It was in that moment, that I learned that Harry wasn’t there to actually “hang out”—and by hangout, I meant get drunk or high—but rather drop off mail that had been delivered to his house. The “friend of a friend” of Winnie’s, Gavin, apparently used to live with Harry but moved out when rent went up.

I found an odd comfort that I wasn’t the only outsider here.

When Harry and I had gotten the girls into the back seat, I grumbled, “Their pretty heads are going to be hurting tomorrow.”

He chuckled in agreement and opened my door, gesturing for me to get in. It took me a second of staring at him in surprise before I ducked into his car. I don’t think I ever had a man open a door for me.

“I really shouldn’t be trusting you to take us home,” I stated as Harry settled into the driver’s seat, the purr of the engine warming the car from the November chill. “I don’t even know you.”

He pulled away from the curb and hummed in agreement. “We are coworkers if you really think about it.”

I laughed, a foreign noise that my body hadn’t experienced all night.

“You guys work together? That’s awesome,” Winnie cried from the back.

I rolled my eyes. Oddly enough, Harry never questioned my relation to Kai.

Kai worked at some form of marketing firm—which I guess is where Harry works as well. His father owned the company and granted Kai a managing position at the ripe age of twenty-three. He went to college, received his associate’s and hasn’t been jobless once. Some part of me envied him in a way. When I had packed my bags from my small Nevada town and moved to L.A., I was practically homeless. I had no goals here. No infamous dreams of becoming an actor or a singer. I just wanted to exist. Exist far away from the home that haunted my nightmares with the ghost of my father. Something drew me to the city of Los Angeles. Maybe it was all the hype or maybe it was just another decision that I’ll learn to regret one day.

Add it to my list, I thought.

As the girls giggled in the backseat, I navigated Harry to the direction of our neighborhood, not wasting my time on small talk. Strangely, I enjoyed his company. The pressure of not having to keep a conversation alive took a weight off my shoulders.

He eased the car in front of our apartment, it was a townhouse square that all ran together and allowed enough space for Hunter to stay over on nights like these. The bricks were a bit old, with ancient ivy growing up the corners, but it was my solace.

The girls climbed out of the car with groans and walked up the steps to the front door. They disappeared with a click as I stood in front of the car not knowing what to say to Harry.

Thank him, you need to thank him.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he announced, walking with me toward the sidewalk in front of my apartment.

I smirked. “I wasn’t going to.”

He tilted his head back, chuckling up at the streetlamp. It was in that dingy yellowish glow that I allowed myself the privilege to glance over his features again. Soft brown, tousled hair that kept falling into his eyes and would cause him to run a hand through it to push it back. His eyes were green and not just a blue that bent the line between the two colors, but rather fresh plants and growth. The green of new beginnings.

He was tan- and the tan that represented the melanin of the west coast sun where we resided. The kind of olive that would be seen running straight into the waves without a care to the danger it entailed, but rather a love for the rush it provided.

“Well,” he said, breaking me away from where my eyes had been focusing on his arms. They were muscular and scattered carelessly with tattoos. “since your gratitude is so endearing, you can thank me by going to get dinner with me. Tomorrow.”

My brow furrowed together. Did he just ask me on a date? I wanted to say yes, but I didn’t date. And I also had a habit of self-destructing quite frequently. “I don’t even know you,” were the words I resulted in saying. My brain mentally kicked itself. I was notorious for this kind of thing.

“Yeah, you keep saying that,” he chuckled.

Much to my surprise, Harry sat down on the cement steps behind him, leaning his elbows back and stretching his long legs in front of him as if he had all the time in the world. He smiled a pink, warm smile that reached his eyes and my heart. “What do you want to know?” he asked.

I scoffed. “I’m not playing ‘ask me a question, love’.” I mimicked his thick English accent.

He shrugged. “Neither am I.” Harry didn’t seem fazed by my rude remark.

Resigned, I sighed and sat next to him on steps, enjoying the feeling of his muscled shoulder brushing my own.

He filled the silence.

“My full name is Harry Edward Styles, my mum is from England and my dad is from L.A. I’m a marketing consultant—but I guess you already knew that,” he chuckled.  “In my free time, when I’m not running the advertisements of the city of dreams, I drink my coffee black with a spoonful of honey, pet dogs and play music in dingy bars.”

I paused. Dumbfounded, I lost all form of words. What was I supposed to say to that?

In conclusion, I threw my hands in the air and said the most eloquent thing I knew to say. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

He laughed. “Start with telling me about you.”

I guess that Harry noticed the struggle on my face as I tried to find some sort of semblance of my life that was interesting enough to tell, because he said softly, as if talking to a child, “Start easy. Where do you work?”

“Emiliano’s Italian Restaurant.” “Are you from L.A.?”

“No.”

He looked thoughtful as he asked, “What brought you here?”

I shrugged my thin shoulders; goosebumps were starting to linger on my skin from the breeze. “I haven’t figured that out yet if we’re being honest,” I whispered.

Harry didn’t let his gaze linger too long on my face and for that I was really appreciative. I wasn’t comfortable with vulnerability. Instead, he clapped his hands together and stood up, holding a hand out to me. “Well, now that we’re practically best friends, I’ll pick you up tomorrow at seven.”

“Please don’t try to kiss me on the sidewalk

On your cigarette break

I can’t afford to love someone

Who isn’t dying by mistake.”

part three

[miraculously-scattered]

Even Losers can get Lucky Sometimes

Club!AU

Rating: T

Pairing: Adrinette

Words: 1633

Based on The Geeks get the Girls by American Hi-Fi

“You can do this, dude! I’ve shared all my wisdom with you, you’re hot as hell, and you deserve this. It’s been way to long since you got laid.”

Nino had been hyping me up all day about going to the club and picking up girls, but I couldn’t seem to hold onto the confidence he exuded.

We walked from my flat to the club Nino sometimes DJed at and Nino ordered me something fruity he was confident I would like. He wasn’t wrong, and I hoped it would help me relax.

It wasn’t long before Nino let out a low groan. “Redhead in glasses with a figure to die for. She’s gorgeous. I’m going for it, good luck, dude!”

Sighing, I finished my drink and ordered another. I desperately tried to hang onto Nino’s advice. Be confident, but not cocky. Smile. Compliments tend to go over well but stay away from ones that could sound sexist. Again, I ordered another drink, enjoying the slight fuzziness in my head. I looked around, seeing a lot of people. There were attractive girls, of course, but they were clustered in packs, and I knew I couldn’t handle that kind of pressure. I felt something against my left arm and turned to see a woman flagging down the bartender and ordering a drink.

Looking at her, my breath left my body. Her ass looked amazing in skintight jeans and her cropped shirt showed off the smooth, pale skin of her lower back. By the time my eyes looked at her face, she was smirking at me.

“Hey there, hot stuff. Got a name?” Blue eyes seemed to glimmer in the low light as she sipped her drink and moved to take the seat on the other side of me.

“Um, Adrien. I’m Adrien.”

The playful look in her eyes pierced through me. “Hmm. Nice to meet you, Adrien. I’m Marinette.”

What did Nino say? Everything I should do flew out of my mind until I was grasping at bad pickup lines I had heard in movies. What’s your sign? Hey, I think you know a friend of mine. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? My mom told me to call her when I fell in love.

Luckily, my filter was working enough to stop me from blurting the lines out at—fuck! What was her name?

By the time I tuned back in, her drink was gone. “Wanna dance? This is my favorite song.”

I nodded quickly and gulped down the rest of my drink, hoping dancing might cover up the fact that I was sweating just from the presence of a stunning woman. Her hands grabbed mine, pulling me away from the comfort of the bar and into the crowd of people. I wasn’t even tipsy, not near drunk enough to be comfortable dancing, despite my eager acceptance of her request. What was her fucking name?

The blue-haired girl didn’t seem to mind, though, moving her hips and occasionally closing her eyes with a smile. My brain worked hard to think of something to say—something that wouldn’t fuck this up.

The song ended and I pushed “Is it your place or mine?” out of my mouth before I could scare myself out of it.

A perfect black eyebrow arched, and the smirk was back just before she turned around and walked away.

Fuck. What was the point? I’m no good at this. I’m a geek, and when do geeks ever get girls? Nino seemed to be the exception, but he was also a DJ, which probably overrode his geek status.

Looking around, Nino was nowhere in sight and despite the fact that there were many beautiful girls around, the sting of rejection and the desire for that specific girl—whatever her name was—drove me to close out my tab and leave the building, intending to go home to my video games and my cat.

On the sidewalk, stood the girl, purse slung over her shoulder, looking at me with eyes filled with a desire I had only seen a few times. “What took you so long?”

“I thought-um. Sorry?” I stuttered.

Her laughter chimed in my ear drums. “My roommate took someone back to our place, so it’ll have to be yours.”

My face felt hot as I realized what was about to happen. “I’m just down the street.”

With that sinful eyebrow raised and smirk on her face, she jerked her head in a ‘lead-the-way’ gesture. In what felt like no time at all, we were in my flat and she’d shoved me into my own door before kissing the life out of me.

The sun woke me up. Before I opened my eyes, I clung to the memories of the night before. She had reminded me of her name—Marinette—with a giggle when I had finally gotten up the nerve to ask. I thought about how her skin looked against my black sheets and how her body felt against mine. She was so soft. She fit with me so well, like we were reading each other’s minds. I couldn’t help but realize I was alone in bed, even with my eyes closed.

Eventually, I dragged myself into a sitting position, squinting against the sun. The only other being in my room was Plagg, who immediately jumped up to demand food. I stood, not bothering to put on clothes, and went into the kitchen to feed him.

I was contemplating just going back to sleep when my door opened, and I spun to see Marinette coming in with two to-go cups.

She looked at me up and down and grinned. “You’re awake! Sorry I didn’t wait, I’m a monster without my coffee in the morning. I just got you black. I wasn’t sure what you liked.”

“Black’s fine! I exclaimed, meeting her in the middle of the living room. She handed over the cup and I managed to kiss her instead of overthinking. “Thank you.”

I watched as red flooded her cheeks. “You’re welcome. I—I had a lot of fun last night.”

“So did I. I was kind of worried you regretted it or just wanted a one-night stand. I had thought you left.” Even I could hear the pathetic vulnerability in my voice.

“I thought about it.” I tried to mask my disappointment, but I apparently didn’t do a very good job of it because her eyes widened. “Not because I didn’t want to stay! I just wasn’t sure if you’d want me to. You’re really attractive and you could probably get whatever girl you wanted, so I thought maybe you didn’t want anything more? But then I remembered how nervous you were and how defeated you looked when you came outside, so I thought I’d stay. Or, rather, come back, in this case, after I couldn’t figure out your coffee maker.”

Aghast, I took the girl’s hands. “Marinette.”

“You remembered!” The teasing glint returned in her eyes and that damn smirk was going to be my undoing.

“Marinette, my best friend took me out last night looking for a hook up, but that’s never really been my style, thus the nerves and the lame line. I don’t know how I got lucky enough to catch your eye, but I’d really like to keep you around, if that’s okay with you.”

Once again, I was shoved, this time onto the couch, and my coffee and hers ended up carefully on the table before she was on top of me, kissing me once again.

After another round, Marinette snuggled into my chest as we laid on the couch. My phone started going off and I groaned, forcing myself to get up despite the beautiful girl pouting at me.

My phone was in the kitchen, Nino’s face smiling up at me until I answered.

“What?”

“Mate, I think I’m in love.”

I chuckled, making my way back to the couch, where Marinette folded herself into my side.

“I’d judge you for all that happening in one night, but I think I’m in the same boat.”

“Bro, Alya is amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever had this happen before. We didn’t even have sex! We stayed up talking and I have a date with her tonight.”

“Alya, huh?” Marinette’s head suddenly left my shoulder. “I hope she feels the same way about you.”

My—girlfriend? Lover? Person I want to be my girlfriend? —frowned at me. “Alya Cesaire?” she whispered, and I repeated the name back to Nino.

“Yeah, I think so. Red hair, legs and ass for days. Sharp tongue I wouldn’t mind slicing me up all day.”

“Redhead with nice legs and ass and a sharp tongue?” I asked the dark-haired girl waiting for an answer.

She made grabby hands for my phone and I handed it to her. “I don’t know who you are, but if you hurt my best friend, I know how to incinerate a body and I have parents that will help. Toodles!”

The phone was thrust back into my hand and I heard only silence on the line. “Bro?”

“Um. Yeah. Last night go well for you, then?”

“Very well. I think I’m going to keep her around as long as I can. Try not to make her follow through on that threat, she looked pretty determined.” She still did, actually.

“Noted. I guess I’ll talk to you later? I’ve got to plan for this date anyway….” The trepidation in his voice was more audible than I’d heard it since he faced down my father in my defense.

“See ya, bro.”

I hung up and kissed Marinette on the top of her head. “If it makes you feel better, he seems totally gone on her. And scared of you.”

She grinned. “Good.”

[capybar]

Codeland: My First Conference

Let me tell you: it was an adventure. We need to start at the very beginning.

Arriving in NYC

I (last minute) bought tickets via Grayhound and booked a hotel to the New World Hotel. The Grayhound bus driver didn't accept my e-ticket so I had to dig around my phone for a printable receipt. I landed in Port Authority around 9.30pm on Sunday. But I didn't know how to use the subway and was too anxious to ask for help so I walked from there all the way to the hotel. Of course, my phone ran out of battery so I had to drop by a Duane Reid to purchase an emergency batter pack. The hotel wasn't obscenely far but I am poor with direction, thus I arrived at 11.30pm. The hotel reeked of cigarettes and there was an unkempt mattress propped against a wall along with hand towels strewn in random places. I checked in, got my keys and went to my (very small) room. The bed sheet was disgusting and there was a loud TV blasting the benefits of Chinese healing cream that could make you look significantly younger. I tried to go to sleep but couldn't because I felt super itchy. By 4.45am I gave up, checked out of the hotel and wandered around Bower St. looking for a place to shower. At 6am I stumbled into a YMCA. They were generous and because it was my first time there, let me shower for free. I almost passed out in the shower from sleep deprivation.

At the Conference

Finally after an hours' respite (thanks YMCA!), it was off to the conference! The line to the NYC Skirball was decently sized. Getting inside was easy. The conference was super well organized. I got a small pink tote bag that was filled with goodies (hey Flatiron, thanks for the battery pack). The breakfast was much needed. I was beyond thankful for Flatiron's lattes.

The beginning. talks had dancing-which made me really nervous (I didn't want people to see how visibly sleepy drunk I was).

Luna Malbroux's talk was hilarious. It reminded me of Starbucks' #racetogether movement (one question the Bux posed was: how many people did you eat with who wasn't the same race as you? And how often? Well my brother is a different race and I, a Chinese person, am surrounded by white people so this is often. However, this absolutely doesn't make me more #woke). I loved the fake app and everything about the talk.

Pedro Cruz's speech was inspiring. A lot of the programming hype is around the fat paychech or making beaufitulf design or having a snazzy "programmer" lifestyle, but I love how he talked about an existing problem and how he tried to solve it using existing technology. He's truly made a difference in Puerto Rico, moreso I can easily see his solution being used globally (it probly is). His DronAid tackled many problems, from recieving "Help" messages from people in need, to seeing what they actually needed, to making sure non profits weren't getting redundent information to creating a form of communicatlion between various groups.

I chose Raymond Camden's Real Person's Guide to Vue.js. I'm new to learning JavaScript (I only know HTML and CSS) but I've always wanted to know: why do people always talk about Vue, React and Angular? What's the big deal? Although this talk was aimed towards more advanced web developers (aka not COMPLETE noobies), I gained so much from this workshop (plus cats!! A lot of them!!). I learned how useful Vue could be for acquiring data and also allowing interactions between the user and the site. I've been able to go over his github and Codepen at a (much) slower pace to fully peice together the workshop.

The closing talks were very fun and entertaining. I loved Ali Spittal's talk about blogging (I'm going to try to put real effort). It is necessary for me to explain what I'm learning to someone so I can sort of figure out what I'm learning. It is also a good way to keep myself organized. Building a Gendered Dictionary and An Immigrant's Journey into Tech hit home with me as I think we should consider what we are doing and how they impact society.

Coding is a tool. It's what we do with it that matters.

I didn't go to the afterparty but next year, now that I know better how to plan my trip, I will!

[dongsooks]

Pentagon as uni-students

Admin: Asa Type: AU Warnings: I do not know Pentagon personally! A/N: I go to school in Germany and I’m only familiar with the German and the Kazakh scholar system. But then again I think university is always the same experience with it being a mix of pain but also ~maKinG MEmoriEs~ and getting to know the real meaning of capitalism. Asa out.

Jinho:

Major: Music Education, maybe later on Music Therapy

Just wanted to make his passion into his career

that one ho THAT ALWAYS STUDIES 

IS CALM BEFORE EXAMS??????????

Probably the type that has a long term relationship throughout college to avoid STD’s

really enjoys what he is doing

whenever he holds presentations he has this genuine passion in his eyes like wow???

Teacher’s pet but just because he is the best and is so interested in learning

always asks for extra material to ~expand his horizon~ 

I could also see him starting Music Therapy after he gets his bachelor in Music ed??

because he realises music makes him happy, he sees how music actually makes others happier and he just wants to spread!!! happiness!!! and his love for music!!!

originally started working in a grad-school but then quit to work in an elementary school

less income but he loves seeing the kids all excited and eager to learn it reminds him of himself, sob

Just please imagine him, his calm voice, his patient character and his love for music teaching and helping people?? I’M??

dreams of opening his own music school/music therapy center

Hui:

Major: Music Theory and Composition; Performance

fight me, do it, but:

THEATRE KID HUI????

I mean you can lie to yourself, but in the end we can all see him on that stage being the phantom of that opera 

brags about interships he gets, contacts he makes

works at the local theatre on weekends where he does all the dirty work but in exchange he can view all plays for free

takes girls to said plays to impress them

“Oh the main? Yeah sure we’re like basically friends”

The overly hype one at campus parties

always ends up in a drunk vocal battle with Jinho at the end of the night oh the cringe

Hates the theory parts and always would prefer actually singing, performing, playing than just??reading how?? jesus what he got them vocals for y’all

the type who starts studying for finals the week before and eventually just laughs the lack of sleep away

tries to get the teachers to like him

Hongseok:

Major: Physical Activity, Nutrition & Health Promotion

honestly for the other’s I did research on what majors there are and read into them t make sure they fit but for him I just looked for the English equivalent of what I meant Sport- und Ernährungswissenschaften my german folks will know

okay back to it

campus heartthrob but also campus mom

cooks healthy soup when his friends get sick :’)

and then tells them about all the nutritions inside and what vegetable helps for what 

the typical jock with enough brains to actually study something 

“do you even lift bro?”

“I had to broken legs and sprained all my toes and still got an A in my PE” everytime someone mentions physical pain

will recommend moves for when your back hurts though :’)

Asks girls if they need help with their workouts as a pickup line 

Shinwon:

Major: Fashion

Fashion queen

always well dressed

how he affords to keep his style that good is worth a buzzfeed unsolved episode tbh

comes to 8 am courses in Balenciaga

may or may not have a slight shopping addiction

never seen making money, studying, putting any effort into anything

but STILL ALWAYS ON THAT SHIT

good grades, good looks, style so good Karl Lagerfeld unnies was found shaking in his boots

lures photography majors into taking his portfolio pictures

and his Instagram pictures

probably gets offered one or two modeling contracts eventually

you could swear you saw him in the Vogue the other day

ALWAYS NAKED AT THE END OF PARTIES

The one who suggest Strip Poker EVERYTIME

but that’s for an au coming soon which’s title rhymes with ptg as fucktroys ;)

Hyojong:

Major: Fine arts

has a Kranken, listens to real music and likes to judge people who wear skinny jeans watch out

seems unapproachable but honestly, genuinely is nice when you get to know him

part of the dance group

actually very interested in his courses but always seems like he is about to pass tf out

the guy who’s health you’re just really concerned about but he’s holding up, doing well

really good at art though

like they get displayed in the local museum good 

always a little disturbing but so, so interesting and deep??

Probably smokes them trees to widen his horizon man

dorm FULL OF DAMN PLANTS 

was seen having a whole funeral for one of them once

the type of person where everyone who knows them says they’re so nice and great but you’re on the low intimidated by them

Changgu:

Major: Classic literature

so involved in acting but also writing

writes poems 

goes to poetry slams with Hyojong 

the type of person who you could talk to for hours and hours

writes poems for his s/o’s

cries during emotional plays, novels etc

everyone loves him tbh 

the soft one who is ALL OVER THE PLACE during finals

S T RES S ED OUT so much Tyler Joseph knows NOTHING 

worries so much but ends up with great grades!!!

needs lots of encouragement 

Yan An:

Major: International Studies

to be very honest I just had no idea what else to give him? 

I mean he said he’d be a flight attendant if he wasn’t an idol and you don’t have to go to Uni for that

but I guess this come close enough? 

gets the cultural aspect and everything

seems lost all the time

like in his last year first-years will show him around 

all the teachers are in love with him

he always gets dicounts because eeeveeeryyyonneee loooooves hiiimmm he is sooooo softttt omg

once had a phucboy phase but psshhhh

knows everything before finals but still stresses out

sometimes asks for help because he didn’t understand something and just smiles even though he still didn’t get it bby

generally smiles a lot for no reason

a puppy, a whole pup

YUTOOOO:

Major: Sport and Fitness Administration Management

probably has a scholarship 

wanted something “easy” but “safe”

honestly puts a lot more effort into his sports than school but always makes it

is the best player of the team

his coach probably always on the other teacher’s diccs about him

so he always gets to hand things in later/retake tests 

is unapproachable but nice #2

leaves parties before it gets dark so he only has a small time frame to GET LIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTT

gets drunk and does that “EY EY EY EY” deep, manly, TESTOOOOSTERONE scream thing men do y’all feel me???

I think no one gets what I mean but I feel so passionately that he’d do that I’ll leave it in

forgets to bring his pencil, his notebook, his motivation and HIS DAMN BAG LIKE BOY IS YOU_::;.,:_

but always ready to help and share as much knowledge as he has we’re all just here to make it and leave

Kino <3:

Major: Dance 

whooooo saw THAT coming wow what

yeah but maybe an education minor too?

has his SHIT TOGETHER! WOW !??

the epitome of a teachers pet

but tbh everyone just loves him it’s as simple as that

much like Jinho to be honest so I’m afraid to just repeat myself but shortly:

passionate

in love with what he is doing

wants to share this

is so genuinely happy to do what he does even when it’s hard it’s so?? inspirational?

dreams about opening his own dance studio 

but same as with Jinho I could see him into teaching especially younger kids

not much to say, he’s great and on top of the game 

Wooseok:

Major: Music Theory and Composition; Music Management

wanted to chase his dream but also chase that shmoney

soundcloud rapper

once hacked the university facebook page to post a video of himself recreating the 

“it’s ya boy, uhhh, skinny penis”-vine

gets delusional from the lack of sleep during exam season tbh

“can I borrow your calculator? what’s 4+5?” 

always drunk at parties but a funny, bearable kind of drunk

also seen hungover and full of regret ™ the next morning lmfao 

hungover in class

also brings snacks to class 

but makes it and so will you!!

Requests and Ships are open my children

Masterlist

[harpsichord-canvas]

[archive] highly late "top 5 of 2016" list

Yes yes, I know. It's March. But I thought this would be a good introduction to this blog. Both personally as a way to practice and for a reader to gain an idea of what kind of music I'm into. This was also an enjoyable peace for me to write in retrospect. I'll keep the write ups for each album brief merely touching the surface and highlighting certain songs or moments which add to what made these so notable and important to me.

5. Nicolas Jaar - Sirens

The reason for this albums inclusion in my end of year list can be summarised in as single word; 'atmosphere'. In honesty my first reaction at the beginning of the album was to check the connections on my headphones before that initial shattering outburst that leaves a trail of cascading piano arpeggios in its wake, a moment that would similarly leave a trail of goosebumps down my spine. The minimalist approach to the opening track is immediately contrasted in 'The Governor' which features noisy and visceral drum beats alongside chaotic saxophone lines which warble there way around on top.  For the next three track these feeling are explored and built upon with such some wonderfully composed beats, moments of desolation and bilingual lyricism. The album finishes with the infectiously catchy 'History Lesson' where Jaar sings about humanities repeated mistakes throughout history in the form of chapters in a book which all builds up to a triumphant breakdown of soaring manipulated vocals. 'Sirens' also gets my praise for having the most interesting artwork and packaging of any physical release I picked up last year with its blank scratchcard preface that can be erased to reveal the photo of Nicolas' fathers artwork on display in Times Square. The visual piece by Alfredo Jaar entitled 'A Logo for America' focuses on the modern ethnocentrism of the United States and the oft forgotten history of South America, a theme which also resonates throughout this album.

4. Radiohead - A Moon Shaped Pool

It's not often that an album reaches the levels of hype that surrounded Radiohead's anticipated "LP9". I was consistently somewhere near this congregation of excited fans adding in my wild speculations to the upcoming album of possibly my favourite band of all time and the first band I fell in love with (there's a story behind that I'll maybe explain some other time). I remember vividly when the album finally leaked, loading the album up on my phone and going out for a walk with my dog for the first listen. As the album ventured out of the tension of 'Burn the Witch' and the spacious beauty of 'Daydreaming' into the uncharted territory of 'Decks Dark' I was approaching the top of the hill behind my house, the sun was setting and by the time the chorus hit I knew it had been worth the wait. This album has , An underappreciated aspect of the album is in my opinion the lyricism on track six, 'Glass Eyes'. The words describe the disembarking of a train into an unfamiliar environment, perhaps a new stage of life, and the anxiety that inevitably comes with it. Its noted how when we are presented with these new and uncomfortable paths it can be all to easy just to slip back into old ways. This appears to be the option the character in this song opts for as Thom continues to describe a train winding its way through a landscape, in which his input is unnecessary. He doesn't know nor care where he is being led, just content to drift effortlessly through life. The song ends with the simple line "I feel this love to the core" which, when combined with the luscious instrumentation, can be frankly overwhelming.  This cripplingly sad lyricism is present throughout and is often stated bluntly to great effect. There's nothing all that new within this album but rather it is a culmination of all there past adventures with obvious influences from all stages of their career. I really hope this isn't the last we hear from Radiohead but I'd be content with this as the bookend to one of the greatest discographies in rock music history. (On a lighter note, I'm finally seeing them live this summer and I can't wait!)  

3. Pinegrove - Cardinal

It was at this point in the arranging of the list that things became really difficult for me. These top three are all within a thread's width of each other and the order in which I place can change depending on situation or mood. Had you mentioned the band Pinegrove to me at the beginning of the year you would of been met with a blank face. It was only upon the release of this album that I gave them my initial listen and for the first time in a while I was instantaneously hooked on a bands music. Lead singer Evan Stephen Hall has a talent for writing memorable vocal melodies which are perfectly delivered in that unique country flare his voice he possesses. The album begins and ends with the contrasting songs 'Old Friends' and 'New Friends'. The infectiously catchy former serves as a reminder to not take the loved ones who surround you for granted. In the final song however the writer finds them self isolated, after neglecting friendships they grew stale and now he is left on his own. What takes place in between could allude to the reasons for this with stories of social anxiety and failed relationships. I can't really overstate just how listenable these tracks are with there relatable lyrics that flow so easily off the tongue. In the past year I have had the pleasure of seeing them live twice with a noticable increase in the size of crowd only over a short period of time and have high hopes for the future of the band. I am eagerly anticipating what they can come up with for their following album. I personally hope to see an ambitious step up with a longer tracklisting of varied and thematically intriguing topics but I'd also be happy just to have a new set of wonderful tunes to drunkenly sing along to.  

2. Frank Ocean - Blonde

I noted how few albums could reach the anticipation levels of 'A Moon Shaped Pool' but after four years of waiting since the universally acclaimed 'Channel Orange', Frank Ocean had it beaten. This album may have rubbed certain fans up the wrong way on initial listens. Compared to Frank's previous efforts this album is notably more stripped back in terms of production with drums often totally absent in tracks. However to me this adds to delicate nature of this album that oozes with class and grow further upon me with every spin. A prime example of this stripped back approach is the song 'Solo' where he details, with scarily vivid imagery, an acid trip where he envisions "a bull and a matador duelling in the sky" over nothing but a gently drifting chord progression. This album just has a bountiful collection of memorable moments spread throughout the hour long duration. To name but a few the gorgeous clean guitar work in 'Self Control', when the beat switches in 'Nights', the surprise entrance of Andre 3000 to the beautifully poignant outro of 'White Ferrari' that brought out the allergy excuses in the majority of fans. Despite reaching such heights of fame though this album is still authentically Frank's work with fearless decision making to strip back the production while featuring some largely experimental moments like the noisy sound collage which rounds off the album. By that point I always find myself in a near delirious state and it comes as a comfort to just let the abstract collections of sound wash you down. Overall if it takes four years to produce an album of this calibre then every one the countless delays was worth it. Despite being less than a year old is deservedly a modern classic in many eyes, an accolade which I'm sure will only become more cemented with time.  

1. Car Seat Headrest - Teens of Denial

The point that finally made me settle on this as my number one album of the year was the play count which is far and away above the rest to the stage where I know every word to heart. Everytime I left the house to go to a lecture I found this as my go to soundtrack and would have have to restrain myself from singing refrains out loud in the street. But amongst these potently catchy hooks and riffs lies some truly incredible examples of creative songwriting. Front man Will Toledo is no stranger to intimate transparency in his lyricism but I still found myself taken aback as he so openly conveys the motions of his emotional breakdowns to the listener. In an age where we still struggle to openly discuss issues of mental health it's so refreshing to find a public figure who is willing to put his life on display like he does through this album. A prime example of this is presented in the anthemic 'Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales'. In this centerpiece Will recalls experiences of his younger self getting blackout drunk before driving home from a party, a dark and tabooed past which most adults would carry as a secret to their grave. Instead it is used as a lesson to encourage listeners to listen to the voices of reason in similar situations and put aside these selfish and reckless thoughts.  If you were still somehow unsure of Will's writing ability following the former half of the album then any remaining doubt will be thrown away following track ten, 'The Ballad of the Costa Concordia'. This incredibly grandeur and lengthy track can be broken down into three sections. In the first he discusses his own personal experiences with depression with a slowly declining enthusiasm for life. This portion acts as a hugely effective build up to the second part in which he breaks down hopelessly letting free a chain of thoughts about his inability to deal with adult life, reaching a climactic point with simple shouts of defeat and surrender. The song then continues to detail depression but far less on the introspective level but instead addressing society as a whole and all the while these lyrics are skillfully infused with references and analogies comparing his own life to the fate of the Costa Concordia, the luxury cruise ship which capsized of the coast of Italy following a collision with a submerged rock. As a final note this songwriting is backed up with a an approach which is distinctly lacking in modern rock music. A lot of beauty in classic albums lies in the imperfections and raw production style and I wish producers would learn from this album and make the choice to not compress the life out of every instrument in their arsenal. I have only touched upon what I love about this album but I sincerely hope you can take a listen yourself and understand why it is my choice for album of the year 2016.  

Honourable Mentions

Jeff Rosenstock - WORRY.

Bon Iver - 22, a million

Parquet Courts - Human Performance