#i had to fulfill those expectations. and besides what if the way that made sense was wrong.

[chilikit]

sometimes when people ask me to do tasks without further instruction, i skip past the phase in which i figure out the best way to do it straight to freaking out because i assume that they want me to do it a certain way but i don't know what that way is. so instead of figuring out the best way to complete the task i am trying to figure out how they would want me to complete the task which is much harder and very anxiety-inducing. i guess that's what happens when you get used to being told that you're not doing things right.

[berylcups]

Hi hi, if you're comfortable with it, how would La Squadra react to reader (who they've been with long enough as to not kill them on the spot) playfully spanking them as they walk by? Pls and ty <3

Hello! This request sounds like a lot of fun 🤩 Your wish is my command 😌

How La Squadra reacts to getting a spank on the butt

CW: flirtatious behavior, suggestive content

Notes: I hope this doesn’t feel too rushed. 😅 I did this more as an act of flirtation and La Squadra already being somewhat on amicable terms. I hope this fulfills your expectations nonetheless! Enjoy! 💜 Beryl

Risotto

Ass rating: 7/10 very thicc but super muscular so no jiggle physics

“…Ahem.” He stopped in his steps. He couldn’t face you because his face was so flushed. “Y/N is there any reason why you assaulted my ass like that?”

“No reason.” You shrugged your shoulders and giggled. “Just felt like it.”

“You and Melone are lucky we don’t have an HR.”he dryly joked.

He’s shocked by your boldness. But he can’t say he isn’t intrigued! Give him a little more time to warm up 😌

Formaggio

Ass rating: 7.5/10 nice and soft. Bubbly even, very smackable but it’s on the smaller side.

“Hey now~ If you’re gonna do that, at least take me out to dinner first.” He chucked rubbing his ass. “I know a good sports bar we could go to…” he flirted back.

Uh oh, you caught his attention. Hope cool with a guy who works through his relationships fast! He might propose to you 3 months from now!

Illuso

Ass rating: 8.5/10 very thicc ass fit for a complete asshole 🙄 very bubbly but hides it behind those ugly ass clothes made from my Nanny’s duvet.

He could see your hand coming a mile away through a reflection in the mirror.

“Nice try Y/N.” He grabs both of your wrists with one hand and pins you to the wall.

“Think you can sneak up on me? I got eyes everywhere.” His free hand strokes your face.

“You want a piece of my ass then you gotta work for it.” He let you go and smacked your ass hard and squeezed a cheek.

“Hah that is fun!” He snickered. “ you better watch your back Y/N! I’m gonna be sneaking up on your ass now!”

Oh no! This big bully is gonna bully your ass now! Literally! But was it just me or did I sense some sexual tension back there? 😳 good luck!

Pesci

Ass rating: 9/10 this guy has a dumpy. Thicc- xtra THICC. Nice and soft. Perfect for spanking.

“Eeek~!” He lets out a loud high pitched screech.

“Y-Y/N?! W-wha w-what was that for???” He stuttered.

“Sorry I can’t help myself Pesci. You are just too cute!” You giggled.

“I’m cute?!” His entire face became flushed. He never had someone hit on him like that…literally or figuratively!

“Absolutely! I’m sorry for scaring you there.” You apologized. “ if you want…you can spank me back~” you giggled.

“Oh-oh my! I could never lay a hand on you Y/N! “ he stuttered out. “ besides-big bro told me I’m supposed to treat my superiors with respect !”

“Well okay…but remember the offer is always on the table. See you around big boy ~.” You winked

“Was Y/N flirting with me?! Is this real life? My heart won’t stop pounding! I need to man up and flirt back next time!”

Aww you raised his self esteem! He could use his own personal cheerleader! 😘 keep showing him your support and you might win him over!

Prosciutto

Ass rating: 5/10 small muscle butt, it’s pretty but not very smackable 😩 like smacking a brick wall

“That’s not the way a mafioso should behave…Y/N.” He has a good grip on your wrist as he takes a deep drag of his cigarette with his free hand.

He exhales the smoke in your face and smirks.

“You look like you could use some more training. I’ll tell Risotto that you need some private mentoring to help with that bad behavior of yours.” He purred.

Uh…good luck ! You’re about to receive some very intense mentoring or some aggressive brat taming 👀

Melone

Ass rating: 3/10 poor baby got no butt 🥲 you can hang a photo on his ass. But at least it looks pretty ☺️

“Hnnnng…spank me harder~” he purred while sticking his butt out towards you.

“I’ll be honest… I never expected you to make the first move but I can’t say it’s unwelcome” he confessed. “Now… it’s my turn~! Let me spank you next!” He says with a crazed look in his eyes and his hands making a grabbing motion.

It’s up for you to decide if you want to him to spank you or not. 😅 you better start running then! Remember you can’t outperv the pervert!

Ghiaccio

Ass rating:10/10 he has the holy trinity of a perfect booty bubbly, thicc, and muscular. 💯 absolute perfection 👌 his nerdy clothes conceal the butt but—thank lort for White Album. That stand doesn’t hide ANYTHING 😳

“Woah woah woah hey! Hey! What the hell was that?!” He rubbed his stinging cheeks. “Did you seriously just smack my ass?!” His face was redder than a tomato.

“Yes, yes I did.” You said proudly.

“Y-You can’t just do that!” He stuttered out of embarrassment.

“But I just did.”

“How would you like it if I did it to you huh?! Gasp-“. He realized the gravity of what he just said. “That’s not what I meant-“

“Ok, come here and do it~.” You giggled. “ Do you want me to bend over or..?” You egged him on.

“Wha—?! That- that would be—no! No! I’m not falling for it!” He stuttered with blood leaking out of his nose and freezing on his cheek. “You just want me to get in trouble!”

He stormed off as a blushing nose bleeding mess.

“Y/N is flirting with me??? Oh god what do I do? I just fucked up by yelling at them. Maybe smack their ass next time???” He nervously thought. “I hope I have the balls to do that!”

Oh boy you really let him have it! His poor brain blue-screened from that moment 😂 you might’ve been a little too intense for this intense man. Maybe be a bit less bold next time. Don’t worry you got this! 💙

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Erase Me - Carlos Sainz

<word count - 1116>

Everything was Carlos. 

Whether it be a random team member who held a door open for you, or a guy who cast you a glance for two seconds from across the room. Everything was Carlos.

Every tiny little detail reminded you of him, and in some ways you liked it. It kept those snippets of inebriating memories at the forefront of your brain, even if they slowly turned foggier and foggier as the days ticked by. 

It was yet another day of waking up beside a guy who had disappointed you. Well, it was very unfair on them. Your expectations were so specific, so pin pointedly perfect, that they'd never be able to fulfill them unless they were a certain Spaniard. 

None of them sent the electricity pulsing through your veins like he did, none of them traced their fingers over your skin like he did, none of them whispered the same sweet nothings into your ear like he did. 

The words may have been the same, but they didn't flip that switch in your brain that melted you into a puddle of love beneath them. Everything you thought they had done well, Carlos had always done it better at some point in time.

You silently left, not leaving your name or number as you walked through the hotel lobby. For a moment, you thought you had smelt him, his cologne wafting in the air. Your head whipped around, eyes scanning over the space  in search of any familiar features, all compiled together in the perfect work of art that formed Carlos Sainz. 

Your hunt was rendered fruitless, when you found sense and realised there was no way he could be there. You figured the scent was simply clinging to your nostrils, with no intention of it letting you go, letting you find peace.

Carlos was in Monaco, probably with his arm around someone else. The mere thought of that made you feel sick to your stomach, as you stomped through the lobby and straight out of the doors. Your mind cast you back to last night, to the guy you were with.

His name was... Aaron? Adam? It didn't matter now anyway, you were never going to see him again. Despite this, you felt guilty. Anytime he did anything to you, you closed your eyes and tried to imagine it was Carlos.

No matter how hard you fought with yourself, the feeling didn't match the picture that you were painting in your mind. His lips weren't the same, his hands weren't the same, he wasn't the same. But you couldn't expect them to be. 

Your mind felt numb as you walked home, trying to clarify the memories that clouded your memory like a haze every single goddamn day of your life. You wished you could remember every little detail, down to the exact position of every follicle of hair on his head, but you couldn't. No matter how hard you tried. 

Checking the time on your barely charged phone, you saw that Carlos would be in FP2 right now. As embarrassing as it was to admit, what you were about to do was one of the only things that kept you going in life. 

His number was coincidentally, or not so, sat at the top of you caller redials, and you didn't hesitate in pressing it, and holding your phone to your ear as you walked. You counted every single ring that rattled in your ear, until they fell quiet for a moment. 

"Hola, sorry I didn't answer your call. I'm either racing, golfing, or doing something else that appears to be more important than taking calls. I'll call you back as soon as I can, bye," you heard his velvet smooth voice say. 

The tone beeped, and and words just started tumbling off your lips. "Hi, Carlos, I- Uhm, just wanted to say good luck for this weekend, but you'll smash it. I-" you carried on, cutting yourself off before you said too much. "Bye," you croake out, firmly pressing your finger to the big red button to end the voicemail. 

It wasn't long before you deleted it, to make sure Carlos would never hear what you had said. It was nothing bad, but that wasn't the point. Just getting to hear his voice for those short seconds was the only form of sweet release you were given anymore, and it was the thing that kept your brain ticking over. 

Your mind cast you a little further back than last night, to Monaco last year. Carlos had come second, and you were both were overjoyed. You had said you'd wait for him in your hotel down the block until he was done with interviews and post race debriefs and everything.

For some reason, you could distinctly remember the exact creek of the hotel door opening, and the soft thud of his footsteps against the plush carpet floor. He had the biggest smile plastered on his face as he walked up to you. "What a surprise to see you here," you smirked, sauntering up to him and jumping into his arms as he effortlessly held you. 

"Well, I-" he said, and it was like someone had pressed pause on the video in your mind. You knew what he had said next, you knew you knew. You wracked your brain, rifling around for the words that came next. 

But nothing came. Nothing jumped out at you, nothing gave you the relief of remembering. The memories of Carlos were fading the more time you spent away from him, and it was eating you up inside. 

You were trying to claw back the memories, trying to take back what was rightfully yours, but the nerves weren't connecting. The information wasn't correlating. You weren't remembering. 

A stray tear slipped down your face, panic slowly setting in. This was the beginning of the end. He thought it had ended the minute he had broken up with you, but for you, the end had only come now. 

The end was when you couldn't put the sentences to the occasion. When you couldn't match the images in your mind to the dates you had stashed away as a small keepsake. The end was when you couldn't put the name to the face anymore.

Carlos was slowly fading, slowly melting away from you. You should have felt relieved, should have thanked someone or something out there for finally letting you out of the shackles that had locked you in misery for however long it had been.

But Carlos was fading, and you were wondering who would be the person to wipe you out. Who would come along and rub your lines off the page. Who would come along to erase you. 

A/N - Not proofread at all, so bear with that if you find any mistakes. I have been dead recently, and it'll stay like that for a little while longer I'm afraid my loves, but I'll be back. When? I don't quite know, but I will.

|masterlist|five seconds flat|

[just-dreaming-marvel]

The Bond Between Us ~ 89

THE BOND BETWEEN US MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,760ish

Summary: You confront Emperor Palpatine once again.

Notes: Here is it. The last chapter. Please read the end notes after you have finished this chapter. I hope you enjoy.

Ben and you found an old, large fighter ship. Despite Ben’s insistence on going straight to Exegol, you told him to chart a path to where the Resistance was. You excused yourself to the back of the ship while Ben piloted, allowing yourself time alone to meditate. You could feel a familiar presence in front of you, though you still didn’t open your eyes.

“Despite everything that I did to protect you,” Obi-Wan spoke up, “I was never going to be able to stop your destiny.” He sighed. “You are the Chosen One.”

You opened your eyes, giving him a smile small. “You did try your hardest,” you responded. “Even in death.”

“I never wished that burden upon you.”

“I know. And I appreciate everything you did to try and protect me.”

“I wish I could do more now.”

You sighed. “I can only hope that I will have enough strength to defeat Palpatine once and for all.”

Obi-Wan placed a hand on your knee. “You have the strength, you always have. Besides, my little star, I would never let you confront Palpatine alone.”

“Thank you.” The two of you sat in silence for a moment. “I can’t let Ben go to Exegol with me. He’s already been through enough.”

“Take an escape pod. I can guide you to Exegol.”

“You’re willing to help me fulfill my destiny?”

He gave you a small smile. “I really don’t have much of a choice, do I?” He stood up, taking your hands and pulling you up with him. “I love you, little star” He leaned in and kissed you briefly before disappearing.

“I love you too.” 

You looked toward the door that would lead you to Ben. You walked into the cockpit and briefly watched Ben flying. He had so much of his grandparents and parents in him. He glanced back at you, having sensed you.

“Is everything alright?” He asked.

“Everything’s fine,” you responded. You walked forward and sat down in the copilot seat beside him.

“I don’t believe you.”

You stayed quiet, studying your great-nephew as he piloted. “I know about your bond with Rey.” Ben stayed silent. “She talked to me about it for the first time a few months ago. I told her about the bond Obi-Wan and I shared… share, I guess.” You chuckled lightly. “I questioned her about something that she ended up refusing to answer.”

“What was it?”

“If she loved you… I don’t think she realized that I could sense the truth from her already. Just as I can you… You love her in turn.”

“Aunt—“

“Don’t try to argue with me, Ben Solo. You know that you’ve never won an argument with me.” You sighed, looking at the stars out of the window in front of you. “The only thing I wish I could go back and change is telling Obi-Wan about my feelings sooner.” You looked over at Ben again. “Don’t wait until it’s too late to share your feelings. I would hate to see that happen to you.” Ben stayed silent. “No matter what you’ve done, Ben, you are still worthy of love.” Standing up, you placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “I’ll be in the back.”

You wished you could explain to him your decision or say goodbye, but he would insist on coming with you and you couldn’t allow that. With a deep inhale, you headed for an escape pod. You got yourself situated before taking another deep breath.

“Okay, Obi,” you whispered to yourself, “show me the way and, please, buy me some time.”

~~~

The darkness that was Exegol made you sick. So sick that you thought you were going to vomit. Instead, you breathed deeply and summoned more strength from the Force. You were honestly frightened at the sight of all of those Star Destroyers hovering in the air. There was fog floating between the whips with lightning striking down occasionally. You landed your escape pod and jumped out. It surprised you that you weren’t shot down, but that only meant that you were expected.

Hearing another ship above you, you looked up and recognized Luke’s X-Wing descending to land beside your ship. Rey hopped out.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, concerned. “This is my fight.”

“Oh, Rey,” you shook your head slightly. “It’s always been mine.”

She knew what you meant. You had spoken to her briefly about the Chosen One proficiency. Rey knew that you believed this to be your destiny and she wasn’t about to let you deal with it alone. The two of you walked forward, beginning your path to the heart of Exegol together.

You walked past ruins, lightning, and tanks of failed clones of the Emperor. Then you headed to the lower level where there was more lightning and giant statues of Sith Lords. Everything inside of you was telling you to run but you couldn’t. Not when Palpatine was so close that you could feel his entire, dark being. Or what was left of it anyway.

Rey and you continued into the heart of Exegol until you stumbled across a large throne. Voices up in the stand-like walls began chatting in the language of the Sith. You and Rey turned to realize there were hundreds of hooded beings looking down on you.

“Long have I waited…” The Emperor’s rough voice broke through the chanting just before it stopped. 

You and Rey turned around to see Palpatine, a mangled and missing-parts form of his original self attached to technology to keep him upright and moving. The flashing light that the lightning briefly provided allowed you to see that his eyes were almost pure white and that his veins were black, running underneath his thin, ghostly skin.

“For my grandchild to come home,” Palpatine continued with a wicked smile. “And she brought the Chosen One with her.” You clenched your jaw. His focus went back onto Rey. “I never wanted you dead. I wanted you here… Empress Palpatine.” His arm branched out, pointing to the large throne beside him. The machine he was connected to moved forward, toward the two women. “You will take the throne.”

Gasping, clearly nervous, Rey stepped back. You stood your ground, not allowing Palpatine the upper hand. “It is your birthright to rule… here. It is in your blood. Our blood.”

Rey stepped back again as Palpatine moved forward. “I haven’t come to lead the Sith,” she said. “I have come to end them.”

“As a Jedi?”

“Yes. Just as my Masters have trained me.”

This time, you began stepping back because Palpatine continued to inch forward.

“No,” Palpatine responded. “Your hatred, your anger. You want to kill me? That is what I want. Kill me and my spirit will pass into you, as all the Sith live in me… You will be Empress… We will be one.”

“No,” you retorted sharply, placing yourself between Rey and the Emperor. 

He chuckled. “Look at you… Y/N Skywalker. The Council’s favorite. The only original member of the Jedi Order left. Do you really think you can stop Rey from killing me? I know you sense it within her, the anger, the hatred. Just like your brother… Rey will fall and you won’t be able to stop me, like all of the times before.” With a flick of his wrist, you were thrown to the side, rolling to a stop on the ground. “The time has come! With your hatred, you will take my life. And you will ascend.”

“All you want is for me to hate, but I won’t,” Rey told him, holding her strength. “Not even you.”

“Weak. Like your parents.”

“My parents were strong. They saved me from you.”

“Your Master Luke Skywalker was saved by his father. The only family you have here… is me.”

“You’re wrong,” you groaned, pushing yourself up. “She has been and the rest of the Resistance.” You moved to be beside Rey.

Palpatine cackled. He looked up, where the ceiling opened up to reveal the Resistance getting shot down by the Final Order. “They don’t have long,” he said. “No one is coming to help them. And you are the one who led them here. Strike me down. Take the throne. Reign over a new Empire… and the fleet will be yours. Only you have the power to save them. Refuse, and your new family… dies.”

Rey met your gaze. You shook your head, mouthing ‘don’t’. Suddenly, you both could feel it. Ben was here on Exegol. Rey looked away from you and nodded reluctantly at Palpatine.

“Good,” he responded proudly. The Emperor shot his hand forward and brought you to your knees using his Force lightning. You did your best to not cry out in pain. “The ritual begins!” The Emperor lifted himself up higher as his disciples started to chat again. “She will strike me down and pledge herself as a Sith. She will draw her weapon.” Rey took her lightsaber from her belt and ignited it. “She will come to me.” Rey headed toward Palpatine. “She will take her revenge. And with a stroke of her saber, the Sith are reborn! The Jedi are dead! Do it! Make the sacrifice.”

Rey held her saber up and paused. You could sense that she and Ben were connecting. Rey put her saber behind her like she was winding up to use all of her strength. You smiled when the lightsaber disappeared. Quickly, Rey ignited Leia’s saber that she had with her. You stood up and ignited both of yours as the Red Guards closed in. Rey and yourself worked together to fight them off. The two of you had finished all of them off but one. You went to strike the last one down but Ben beat you to it. You smiled proudly as he came to stand with you and Rey. The three of you got into fighting stances, facing the Emperor.

“Stand together, die together!” The Emperor exclaimed.

Palpatine threw his arms out, launching the three of you back and your lightsabers out of your hands. Palpatine then uses the Force to pull the three of you down to your knees. Force Energy leaves Ben and Rey and flies into the Emperor, startling him. The Emperor stared at his mangled hands as they began to become whole again.

“The lifeforce of your bond…” He mumbled to himself. “A dyad in the Force… A power like life itself. Unseen for generations. Even Y/N and Kenobi’s bond was no match… And now… the power of two… restores the one, true, Emperor.”

With his now strengthened Sith powers, Palpatine drained more Force Energy from Ben and Rey. Rey shrieks as Ben grits his teeth. The Emperor cackled as he gained more power.

“No,” you whispered to yourself. “No.” You closed your eyes. “Be with me. Be with me. Be with me.”

Suddenly, you felt uplifted and your head was filled with voices.

“This is it, little star. Rise and fight.” Obi-Wan.

“Sister.” Anakin.

“Y/N.” Ahsoka.

“Bring back the balance, Y/N, more than I was able to.” Anakin.

“In the night, find the light.” Master Luminara.

“You’re not alone, Y/N.” Master Windu.

“Alone, never have you been, my Padawan.” Master Yoda.

“Every Jedi who ever lived, lives in you, young one.” Master Qui-Gon.

“The Force surrounds you, sister.” Anakin.

“Let it guide you.” Obi-Wan.

“As it guided us.” Ahsoka.

“Feel the Force flowing through you.” Master Windu.

“Let it lift you.” Anakin.

“Rise, Y/N.” Master Adi.

“We stand behind you, Y/N.” Master Qui-Gon.

“Little Star.” Obi-Wan.

“Rise in the Force.” Yoda.

You put your hands behind you, ready to summon your lightsabers and strength continued to build in you.

“In the heart of a Jedi lies her strength. Rise.” Obi-Wan.

“Rise.” Master Qui-Gon.

“The Force will be with you, always.” Luke.

Your sabers hit your hands. You stood as you ignited them, standing before the Emperor.

“Let your death be the final word,” the Emperor said. “In the story of both the Rebellion and the Jedi Order.”

The Emperor stopped taking the Force Energy from the two beside you, causing them to collapse and shot his Force lightning at you. You deflected it with your sabers, grunting as you stood your ground.

“You are nothing!” Palpatine exclaimed as he got out of the harness he was in and was able to stand on his own two feet. “A fatherless girl from Tatooine who couldn’t save anyone! You are no match for the power in me! I am all the Sith!”

“And I…” you grunted, “am all the Jedi.”

You yelled out as you pushed a wave of the Force forward, causing the Emperor to stumbled back. His lightning faltered, allowing you to hurry forward and plunge one of your sabers into him. He groaned as he began shooting lightning at you again. You strained as you deflected with one saber and with the Force. The lightning reflected off the saber, hitting the Emperor. He screamed as he started to disintegrate. With one final pulse, a large wave of Force exited you. It finished off the Emperor and began to destroy the surrounding area.

You were panting heavily. Soon, your eyes rolled back and you started falling to the ground. But the only things that hit the ground were yours and Obi-Wan’s lightsabers. You were gone.

~~~

You gasped as you woke. Though, you couldn’t have possibly been sleeping as you found yourself standing in an all-white area. You looked around only to see nothing and no one. At least you were no longer on Exegol. Looking down at yourself, you realized that you were many years younger than you had remembered yourself being.

“Hello there, my little star.”

Your head snapped up as the voice sounded behind you. You spun around to see Obi-Wan standing there, smiling at you widely.

“Obi,” you breathed out.

“You did it, darling,” he said. “You did it and now you can rest.”

You stepped forward, lifting your hand up to hover beside his cheek. “Am I…”

“You’re here, sweetheart.” He placed his hand on top of yours, pushing his fingers through yours, as he guided it to rest against his cheek. You gasped, tears lining your eyes. “You’re with me.”

“Obi.” 

You launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him tightly as your lips captured his. Obi-Wan smiled through the kiss, having waited far too long to physically hold you again. When the two of you broke the kiss, your foreheads found each other.

“I am so proud of you, little star,” Obi-Wan said softly. You knew he meant every word of it. 

“I love you, Obi-Wan.”

“And I love you.”

~~~

Ben and Rey landed the Falcon down in the canyon on Tatooine. They gathered their needed items and walked out into the desert. They walked not too far from the canyon opening. Ben opened up an old wooden box he was carrying. Rey brought her sack around to the front of her. First, she pulled out Anakin’s old lightsaber, which was once Luke’s and even hers, and placed it in the box. The next lightsaber was Leia’s, then Obi-Wan’s, and finally yours. Rey held yours in her hand a bit longer than the others before placing it in the box. Ben closed the box up and set it on the ground. Together, they used the Force to push it down and bury it in the sand.

After a moment, Ben and Rey turned back to the canyon. They headed into it and up a long-forgotten path. At the end of the path, they found a small house. They could feel that this house was different, it was special. The two set their things inside, knowing that they needed to clean it out later, and went over to the edge of the cliff. Ben put his arm around Rey and pulled her into him as they stared at the suns that were getting ready to set.

In the distance, they saw Leia and Luke appear in Force Ghost form, watching on fondly. It didn’t take much longer before you and Obi-Wan appeared next to them. You smiled at Rey and Ben, causing them to smile back. Ben and Rey then looked at each other and shared a kiss. 

You knew that no matter what came their way, their bond would help them through it. Just as the bond in which you shared with Obi-Wan had helped you.

~~~

End Notes: I can't believe it. I can't believe that this is the last chapter. I didn't even have this series as a thought in my head a year ago; now it is one of my most popular ones. It is actually my top series on AO3, beating Out Of Time by almost 10,000 hits. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for the support and those of you who've stuck with it since the beginning. You are the real superstars.

It is so sad to see this series end. This series challenged me in ways I didn't know I could be challenged by a form of writing. I have learned and grown from it.

Don't worry, just because this series is over, doesn't mean that I will stop writing for Star Wars/Obi-Wan. I will definitely still be writing Star Wars/Obi-Wan. I even have a few one-shots already planned that go with this series. (Like Anakin reuniting with Padme, Luke, Leia, Obi-Wan, and Y/N in the afterlife.)

Thank you again for all the love and support.

May the Force be with you.

[mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea]

🌿 💞🕯️💌

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Alive. Powerful (in some ways). Really good about myself because I'm utilizing my imagination and creativity and all of those things I learned and worked toward in my writing classes/degree. I feel really good about myself when I'm writing - like I'm fulfilling part of what I'm in this particular life for, which is storytelling.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

The characters are definitely the most important thing, I think. I like to get their voices right - their voice, mannerisms, their expressions, the specific tone and lilt of their voices. Everything else - the plot, the worldbuilding, the settings - those are secondary to the characters. The plot (or scenario, if it's not something huge that requires a full-out PLOT) drives the characters, but I mean, the plot can change from story to story, so it's really still mostly about the character. I'd be lying if I said the technical stuff wasn't a top important thing - I'm an English/writing major, and all those grammar and spelling and punctuation things are hella important to me. Those keep me honest and make me slow down and pay attention to how I'm writing. Figurative language fits in with that, too, though, because it's all the stuff I absorbed in trying to become a better writer, either by reading or by what my awesome professors passed along to me.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

I just answered this one here!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

From Too weird to live, too rare to die, a prompt fic for @kleenexwoman that is a Justin Hammer/Loki (in canon, post-Endgame, everyone lives) bonkers fic:

-------

Still humping the American Dream

Tony closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose between the thumb and index finger of his left hand.  He took five deep breaths.  Counted to twenty.  Took five more.  Counted to ten.  He opened his eyes, the right one pale amber and couldn’t see nearly as well after his snap that ended the war with Thanos. 

Justin still stood in front of him, hands defiantly on his hips, watching him. 

“Anthony, I’m not here to just take up space and piss people off,” Justin said in that affable tone that still managed to dig underneath Tony’s skin and threaten to give him hives. 

“And yet you do that so well, Justin,” Tony snarked as he felt the threat behind his eyes indicating a headache was imminent.  He winced at the harshness of his tone, even with this pain in the ass he never expected to see again, much less share a living space with him. 

Still, they’d made peace with Loki when he returned with Thor and Bruce to help them handle Thanos, and as it turned out, the guy wasn’t so bad in the long run.  Tony liked his sass and sense of humor – always had – and he was pretty handy to have around. 

Perhaps he could make himself get used to Justin Hammer, too.  The guy wasn’t dumb, and since they’d released him early for good behavior and some other reason Tony had already forgotten for the moment, he’d dropped some of that pretentious peacocking that paralleled Tony’s own, which to be fair, he’d been happy to mostly give it up since it got tiresome after a while. 

“Who?  C’mon, Tony, I’m a big boy.  I can take it.  You can tell me who else I’m pissing off besides you,” Justin cajoled, his big grin stretching across the angles of his face.  He’d been trying, but Justin wasn’t stupid; he knew he’d fucked up by trusting the wrong guy.  Didn’t help that he kept trying to compete with a guy known for his genius and his ability to stare any problem in the face, punch it once with his intellect and creations, and boom, no more problem. 

“Pepper for starters,” Tony blurted out, “though she doesn’t live here, and she’s kind of gotten over the idea of you being around Morgan since the kid actually likes you and trusts you.” 

The expression on Justin’s face burst with a sappy fondness he used to reserve for his nephew alone, and he schooled it quickly when Tony had to dial back that initial Papa Bear concern that his kid was around several former villains these days.  Respectfully, he tried to look serious, to take Tony’s comments seriously. 

“To be fair, your kid’s awesome and one day’s gonna run circles around us to make the world a better place,” his words came out clear and heartfelt, and Justin thought he noticed that Papa Bear pride seeping into Tony’s features. 

Note to self, praise that adorable little big-eyed bunny, and that’ll keep Stark from wanting to shoot your nuts off.

“Yeah well.  That’s the truth of it.  Oh and Nat’s still keeping an eye on you.  Everyone else...you’re a somewhat clean slate with.  Not like you’re the only former bad guy in residence,” Tony remarked and went back to what he’d been working on when Justin wandered into the kitchen, namely working on agility and firm (but not too firm) grip with his new arm by making and rolling out pie dough. 

“You want some help?” Justin asked when it seemed like Tony was having trouble with one of the cookie cutters he was using to cut out star shapes (to go with the crescent moons).  He held up both hands when Tony just tossed a glare his way.  “No problem.  Just...offerin’.  As for Natasha, eh.  Sam mentioned it took her a little bit to warm up to Loki, too, so I’ll just...be patient.” 

Justin was in no rush to be liked, and he really didn’t expect to be.  It wasn’t even that he was being a martyr or self-deprecating or living on his low self-esteem.  The prison counselor got him to see where he’d fucked up way before he’d actually chained his personality to impressing the military and broke Anton Venko out of custody. 

Piece of shit and his dumb fucking bird.

------

Thank you for the asks!

Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks

[warningsine]

With only one episode left this season, it’s pretty clear that UnREAL won’t fix the mistakes that have been deeply embedded into the show. At this point, UnREAL embodies the kind of show Lifetime is known for — vapid, exploitative, hinged upon splashy twists with little follow-through or emotional honesty. In other words, UnREAL has become exactly what it hoped to skewer and subvert.

Where did it all go wrong? That’s the question we’ll all be asking once the dust settles next week. I have my own theories, partially drawn from details in a New Yorker profile of showrunner Sarah Gertrude Shapiro that dropped in June. That article positioned Shapiro as a feminist auteur, but this season has been a great case as to why television should shirk the auteur label.

UnREAL still has a lot going for it, perhaps even too much. Story lines are dropped before they gain any emotional resonance. Characters act wildly against type to fulfill the need for more drama and higher stakes, even when their behavior doesn’t make sense. This happens to pretty much every character in “Espionage.” After seemingly not giving a damn about race relations and how he would look to his black audience, Darius instructs Jay to get Chantal to drop out of the show. “Black women all around America will hate me if I cut Chantal for Tiffany,” he says. You’re really just realizing that now?

There’s an interesting story line in this idea: Darius could have been the kind of black celebrity who believes his fame and fortune buffer him from damning racial critiques. But UnREAL hasn’t made him a consistent character at all. What does Darius really want, besides support for his family and a sportscasting gig? Even that fades in and out of focus. Didn’t he just try to win back Ruby, only to forget about her and commit to Tiffany because of her father? That choice is weirdly dropped within the episode, too.

By the way, if you’re expecting to hear about Romeo, you’re out of luck. It’s almost like he doesn’t exist anymore, which makes the racial issues of this season all the more damning. Darius and Tiffany had sex in last week’s episode, but now he’s acting cold toward her. Why? This leads her to decide to get with Chet. Why? Not only does she have daddy issues, she apparently doesn’t love herself. Who in their right mind would want to be with Chet?

There’s a particularly gross moment in which Tiffany asks Chet, “You want a taste?” And then he goes down on her on the balcony, overlooking the date between Darius and Yael. UnREAL shows no sign of dropping the budding relationship between Chet and Tiffany, even though it doesn’t make any sense. It’s like the writers realized Chet wasn’t screwing anybody, and they hit Tiffany’s name on a dartboard. Quinn also feels oddly unlike herself, pivoting from giddy excitement about the prospect of life with Booth to an ugly fallout when she’s told by the doctor that she’s unable to have children. There’s something poignant about her screaming, “I wanted a choice!” after wrecking the control room and bloodying her hand. Nevertheless, this plot twist has zero development. Just when we start getting invested in Quinn’s relationship with Booth, it ends.

And then, there’s Everlasting. The final three contestants — Chantal, Yael, Tiffany — have been unable to make me really invested in their stories. I don’t feel like I know these women at all, especially compared to last season. The lives of those contestants felt truly interwoven with those of the crew, including Rachel.

Let’s talk about Rachel. What the hell is the show doing with her arc? Are we supposed to just forget that she nearly got Romeo killed? It certainly seems like the show forgot about his existence. Are we supposed to forgive her because we learned about her past tragedy? Last week, UnREAL dropped a bombshell about Rachel’s relationship with her mother: When she was 12 years old, Rachel was raped by one of her mother’s clients, leading to the fraught dynamic we see between them today. I’m not even going to touch UnREAL’s black-and-white framing of mental illness, or the use of medication as treatment. That deserves its own essay. “Espionage” just doesn’t reckon with what we’ve learned.

Except for Coleman’s white-knight routine, that is. Quinn has been proven right about his motivations, but they still don’t quite make sense. We first see him almost gleefully going through the footage of Rachel’s confession, which she made fresh out of the mental hospital while she was still drugged up. Rachel quickly figures out that Coleman isn’t being upfront with her, and tells him straight-up that she won’t betray Quinn, even though it might mean putting her own reputation and life on the line.

Unswayed, Coleman keeps trying to get Rachel to agree to take down Quinn and Everlasting, making grand pronouncements about the life they’ll lead together. It’s a typical white-knight routine; I’ve seen it happen to a lot of women. When you open up about your issues, some men will subconsciously interpret that openness as a needy cry for help. But Rachel actually wanted this, right? A man to swoop in and save her? She essentially said as much when Adam came back. (Remember that?) But on the other hand, Coleman is obviously attracted to Yael (out of nowhere!), and they continue colluding to take down the show.

After listening to all of two seconds of Yael’s recording — the one in which Jeremy confesses about the dirty, behind-the-scenes incidents of Everlasting — things take a turn. Yael makes a move on Coleman. Why? Apparently, she has an unexplained, one-sided rivalry with Rachel.

Coleman: You know I’m with Rachel, right? Yael: Sure, you are.

When they kiss, it casts everything between Coleman and Rachel in a different light. Does he really even care about her? Or is all just a means to an end? If that’s the case, it doesn’t really fit with what Coleman did before he learned the truth about Yael.

Madison oversees what happens between Coleman and Yael, using it to make a dig toward Rachel that sets off a chain of events. This pushes Rachel to get back into Quinn’s good graces. Haven’t we see this story line before? Rachel messes up, Quinn covers it up, and she has to fight to get back to producing the show. Rachel’s revenge is so juvenile, it borders on parody. After making sure that Yael is wearing a white dress, she poisons the food on her date with Darius, which leads her to soil herself before they finish dancing. Yael’s humiliation will be shown on televisions everywhere; it shows just how underhanded Rachel can be. But seriously? That’s your revenge? It’s the kind of thing a 14-year-old boy would dream of.

(Also, the whole “Hot Rachel” moniker is infuriatingly sexist. The show hasn’t critiqued it at all. And why is Yael so eager to get with men who Rachel has been with? Why is she so competitive with Rachel?)

Of course, the rivalry isn’t really over. After Coleman comforts Rachel and she seemingly agrees to take down Everlasting, he finds Yael and has sex with her. Sure. Fine. Whatever.

But not so fast! Rachel finds Quinn mid-breakdown, smashing up the control room to cope with the dissolution of her relationship with Booth and her inability to have kids. It’s an interesting role reversal: Hand bloody and makeup smeared, Quinn isn’t the one who has it together for once. And there are a few great, tender moments between Shiri Appleby and Constance Zimmer. I loved seeing Quinn’s exuberant pride when Rachel gets back at Yael. I loved hearing Quinn talk about how she cares for Rachel and misses her. And, yes, it’s great to see Quinn tell Rachel she loves her … but it would have been even better if it was developed properly. If UnREAL had focused on Rachel and Quinn all season, these moments would have landed with the force they need.

Sure, Rachel and Quinn are finally teaming up to take down Coleman. Yes, it will be fun to watch. But will it have much of an impact? I suspect it will be another fleeting thrill in a season full of them.

[j-graysonlibrary]

The Xiang Chronicles: Book One Chapter 27

Title: The Xiang Chronicles: Book One

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 83k

Genres: Fantasy, adventure, drama, LGBT+

Available on: my website

Synopsis: Every few centuries a hero is born—one chosen by the God Tiandi to carry out his will in the mortal realm. The Xiang. Whether it is to quell a war instigated by the forces of shadow—of Shakti herself—or whether it is the miasma that poisons the world, the Xiang is born to bring the world back into balance.

Shu Pangu Min knows what his purpose is and he does his best to fulfill it even if he doesn’t fully understand all of the details. He must travel from city to city—lord to lord—to clear out the miasma. Along the way, he is to enlist the aid of four disciples. Each is to be of a different country and each must have high resonance and deep faith.

The holy men who raised him have great confidence in his future successes and they leave him to begin his journey on his own. But, can Pangu live up to the expectations of those around him? Can he really save the land like all other Xiang before him or will his unconventional methods doom them all?

Full chapter 27 under the cut

Chapter XXVII

The journey south to Ultimos was easy going—peaceful even. Pangu was certain they would run into more trouble and, even though he mentally swore not to follow any cute animals by himself, he still expected to be pulled into the spirit realm and scolded again. Especially now that he knew Kira’s original purpose.

Likewise, Kira was expecting another hooded figure to jump from the forest and try to assassinate them. Maybe even the first guy since he wasn’t sure what exactly it was he did to him. There was no guarantee that it was fatal. So Kira kept his eyes on Pangu and on their surroundings in quick succession.

But it was easy to get distracted when Raine wanted to talk so often. He had so many questions as to why Kira had joined the Kyrie army instead of the Terran army.

“I wanted to stay away from where I grew up. And I hoped my past wouldn’t follow me,” he answered as best as he could, leaving no room for slipping in the fact that he was trying to find Raine. He gripped the reins of his horse tightly as he walked beside it. A few times a day they would give their horses a break from their weight—it slowed the travel time but kept their steeds in better health.

“Why not travel to a different part of Terra? The country is huge.”

“I was not yet aware of how huge,” he responded, “I was still young and did not have many books and maps available to me. Plus, I was already close to the Kyrie border.”

Raine hummed and then nodded. The logic made sense. “I wonder how different things would have been had we met in the military.”

Kira looked up at him and smiled a little. “Might have made for better company. On my end at least—you probably still would not have liked me at first.”

“I couldn’t say for sure,” the man defended awkwardly, “But I do know I would have reported the other soldiers who were bothering you.”

“You would have stood up for me?” Kira asked, unable to hold back his chuckling. The mental image was almost too pure.

“I would have,” Raine insisted with a very serious face.

Pangu and Baiya both glanced over their shoulders at the other two and then Baiya looked to Pangu. “What do you think they’re talking about?”

“Who knows with those two,” Pangu responded and laughed a little to himself. He hoped they were having a conversation that was of no consequence—talking just for the sake of it. Maybe getting to know each other better.

“I hope they’re not talking about us.” Baiya glanced back again as if he would be able to tell by their body posture.

“Why would they be?”

“Not sure but Kira is a gossip.”

Pangu rolled his eyes. “He is not.”

“He is! You should hear him when we’re out at a bar while we’re playing cards,” the man insisted, “He is like a magnet for information and he uses that as weapon while playing.”

“But that is about other people. Not about us.” Pangu gestured to the four of them.

“Well,” Baiya started again and smiled, “He did tell me a rather…juicy secret about you.”

“Me?” After the other man nodded, Pangu asked, “What about me?”

“I am not sure I should say.” Baiya grinned.

“Come on,” he practically pouted and then pushed him in the arm. “Tell me.”

“Well…” He looked down at him and mulled it over for far too long before coming out and saying, “He told me you never do the same dance twice.”

After a second of silence, Pangu nearly fell over with laughter. He held onto his stomach and struggled to catch his breath. “That’s it?” he managed to ask.

Baiya snickered and nodded. “What? Is it not a dark secret of yours?”

Pangu readied himself to call the man ridiculous but then stopped in his tracks. In the middle of the road was a dead rabbit. “Aw. Poor thing.”

Kira sped up to meet them, worried that they had stopped for some serious reason. “What is the problem?”

“Just a dead rabbit,” Baiya confirmed, “Let’s walk around.”

“Wait…” Kira kneeled down in front of it, surprising both Pangu and Baiya.

“What are you doing, Kira?” Pangu asked.

“What is going on?” Raine asked as he joined them. “Kira?”

“I want to try something,” the man said and hovered his hand over the top of the corpse. He released some of the miasma from his body and attached it to the rabbit. He wasn’t sure how the necromancer had controlled the bones of the dead but he guessed it was a miasma related ability.

And if that were true then he should, by all rights, be able to do the same.

When the body started to twitch, Pangu stepped backward while Baiya bent down closer to get a better look. Raine hovered over the back of Kira.

“Are you doing that?” Raine asked as he watched in fascination.

“I believe so,” Kira answered and imagined the miasma as strings stretching from his fingers to the rabbit’s body. He hooked the strings into the flesh and pulled up, causing the rabbit to sit upright and move. With a bit of effort, he was able to make it move as if it wasn’t dead.

“So this was what that man was doing with the skeletons,” Baiya observed, “Interesting.”

“And no miasma is outpouring from it,” Pangu said, relaxing some, “There is no life energy from the rabbit either.”

“Well it is dead,” the Agni disciple responded.

“I am aware.” He shook his head. “I had just been wondering if it was possible to resurrect something or…someone…if the body was still fresh. Obviously the necromancer could not do so with decomposed skeletons but with our rabbit friend here, I was curious.”

“Is that an ability of the Chaaya? Of Shakti?” Raine questioned. He’d never heard of such a thing but he also wouldn’t say he was well versed in that side of things.

“I am not sure but it is in Shakti’s nature to upset the balance of life that Tiandi has created. So, bringing life back to a being of Tiandi who had finished their cycle of life would be the greatest affront to him. Old tales of necromancy always linked the source of power to Shakti but no proof was ever found that it was possible.”

“Oh, I get it,” Baiya replied, “All of the Chaaya’s powers should spit in the face of the natural order of things then, right?”

“Exactly.” Pangu smiled.

Kira continued to move the rabbit’s corpse around. He could see how it might be useful if he was surrounded by a lot of dead bodies but, otherwise, it just felt like playing with a dead thing for morbidity’s sake. He let it rest back onto the ground.

“Well, some of the miasma I had in me has now been released. And not back into the air so this was not a complete waste of time.”

“Good,” Pangu said, feeling a good deal of relief himself, “I say keep practicing in small increments to reduce the amount you have in you. And so you do not accidently hurt anyone by using the ability in the heat of the moment.”

Kira nodded and stood back on his feet. He looked back down to the rabbit, silently thanking it for taking in some of his miasma and lessening the burden on him. While he couldn’t possible spend the next few months searching for dead things to puppeteer in order to free himself of the built up poison in his body, he did want to take Pangu’s advice and try things here and there to see what all he could do.

The black hole that sucked the other Chaaya into who-knows-where was off limits though. He kept thinking that, if he attempted it, one of them would be pulled in and would disappear. He definitely could not risk something like that.

When they cleared the woods, they were at the top of a cliff, overlooking a city. There was no denying it was Ultimos as the buildings overtook the view. The entire city stretched as far as they could see—still expanding, even past the horizon.

“Wow,” Pangu said, completely blown away by the size of it. He’d been to the capital of Kyrie, both capitals of Agni but none had come close to being this massive.

“I knew Ultimos was the largest city in the land but…” Kira even sounded amazed. “It will take us over a day just to make it to the palace…”

“To think, I used to believe Castelle was too large,” Raine mumbled.

“Let us make haste,” Baiya said, getting everyone’s attention back on the mission at hand, “If we hurry, we could make it to the palace by nightfall. I am sure a city this large has some sort of transportation system.”

Pangu hoped he was right. The idea of walking that distance was exhausting on its own.

At the bottom of the path, they were met with the large gates of Ultimos were guards checked their passes and gave entry. Pangu handed over the pass they received from Lord Lao and they were let inside without any problems.

The sheer size of the place really took precedence and nearly made him miss the fact that something was strange in the city. Once they had been walking through the streets for some time, Pangu finally noticed it.

“There is no miasma here,” he said in almost a whisper.

“…You’re right,” Kira agreed and put his hands on his hips. “How is that possible?”

“A city this large should have quite a lot,” Baiya mentioned.

“Maybe the Lord here will have an answer for us,” Raine suggested.

“Right, the corrupt nephew of Lord asshole will certainly help out,” Kira responded with little enthusiasm.

“Well, we have to talk to him anyway,” Pangu said. “Maybe we can rent one of those carts to take us up to the palace faster.”  He pointed to the cushioned carts that were being pulled by horses. They seemed to have a designated path in the roads that people stayed clear of so there were no accidents.

They had to take two since the carts were only large enough for two people at a time. Pangu rode with Raine while Kira and Baiya shared the other.

“Are you nervous?” Raine asked once they started moving.

Pangu shook his head while saying, “Some…I am not sure what to expect.”

“Yes. We cannot fully trust the words of Lord Lao…especially after seeing how prosperous and happy the people here seem to be.”

Unless it was a cover up, he wanted to say, but there was no proof of such a thing. It was best that he did not try to conjure up conspiracies before they even met the man in charge.

With the way the roads were mapped out, it took only twenty minutes to make it to the central plaza. The sun was starting to set but Pangu hoped they would still be seen.

The palace was even larger up close—huge red pillars with golden dragon carvings held up the rich green roof. Golden accents were along the trimmings and, despite how old the palace was, it looked brand new. It was clearly well cared for.

As they approached, Pangu handed his letter, signed by Lao to the guards who stood watch at the palace entrance. The man in heavy armor nodded before reaching to his side and pulling a thin string that hung from the wall. A series of bells sounded and the echo was carried far back into the building.

“Oli will come and greet you soon,” the guard said.

Pangu glanced between his disciples but didn’t say anything. After a moment, a young man—possibly in adolescence still—rushed up to them.

He was short, pale, and had light brown hair that curled at the ends. With a grandiose bow, he welcomed the Xiang and his disciples. “We have been awaiting your arrival, Xiang. My name is Huan Oli Gora. My parents used to care for this great city before my cousin took over.”

“You did not inherit your parents’ responsibility?” Kira asked.

“I have yet to finish my studies so the task of leading Ultimos falls to my much wiser and more experienced cousin,” the boy answered, “I help him where I can but finances and policy are still above my understanding.”

He did not seem bitter to be usurped by his cousin and even spoke of him fondly. Pangu wondered if it was an act that he was putting on out of fear or if it was genuine.

“Can we see your cousin?” he asked, “We need to speak with him.”

“Not about miasma, I hope,” Oli said and laughed a little, “I am sure you have noticed that there is no miasma here.”

“We have,” Pangu responded with a smile. “We have other things to speak of as well, however.”

“Of course,” the boy replied and waved his hands. “You can follow me to his office. Like I mentioned, he has been waiting for you.”

Pangu looked to his disciples again who followed him closely as they walked—all varying degrees of anxious. Oli led them up a flight of stairs and down a hall before an ornate set of double doors. He opened them and let them inside first.

Behind a long desk, a man stood with long brown hair tied in a loose braid. He was a little taller than Pangu and thin. When he turned to face the group, Pangu almost jumped back.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but a beautiful, fresh faced man was not it.

[alyjojo]

Advice to Work on Yourself 🦄 in March 2023: Libra

10 Cups - Judgement rev - 2 Cups

Regarding: Queen of Swords

This is a really good reading, you’re just stripping yourself of happiness 😏 That’s all. Queen of Swords is your own energy, and it’s not about fairytales or overly imaginative energy. You want communication, truth, the facts, with your Sword held up ready to cut someone the second they lead you astray or prove to be not good for you. But…this time, you’re just stopping yourself from love. Probably a new connection, or one you haven’t gotten too serious with yet, could also be a family member with 10 Cups.

In the past you or they took some sort of passionate action or made impulsive decisions, that hurt you, that’s why 4 Pentacles exists. You’ve been hurt, sword is up, Libra will cut your head off if you come any closer. You’ve resisted Temperance and demanded Judgement rev. No second chances! No healing. No fixing this. It’s possible the other person has, but it’s connected to you, I assume it’s you. This mentality has caused 5 Pentacles, abandonment, pain, feeling left out in the cold, heartbreak ❤️‍🩹 Wheel of Fortune shows this changing. You could’ve changed your mind, or they did. This could have been a destined or karmic event in your life. You could be getting back together with someone, because you love them. There’s an apology here over no action towards happiness, living your dreams, or actually expressing love to this person. With The Star attached, this could be a Twin Flame 🔥 for some, an ex for others, or someone new that you never would have met if some other person hadn’t bailed in the first place. No matter what, love is on the table for you and it’s up to you whether you will receive it, or cut them off and avoid any of this. I don’t see a pending disaster, just you being afraid that it is.

Animal Oracle: Blue Heron 🐦

“Make a stand for what you believe in and do what feels right in spite of any judgement or disapproval from others.”

Trust your deepest sense of knowing what the right action is and do it, and don’t rely on others to tell you what to do or how to act. Not everyone will approve of the decisions you make, and if your choice goes against the grain of what others expect from you, you’ll no doubt run into criticism and judgement. Stand still and look around you. You’re doing just fine in spite of others’ assessments of you. Besides, your greatest & most fulfilling support comes from that place inside that guides you by revealing signs that tell you which path to follow. Heeding these signs keeps you in alignment with your true path. You may have to put both feet in the water and dredge through others disapproval, asserting yourself where needed. Trust in your inner knowing, and let it be the source of your strength to keep moving forward.

Artist Oracle: ALIGHIERO BOETTI

- Know who you aren’t.

- Find clarity in clutter.

- There’s more than one way to read a map.

Advice:

- Add Fiber to Your Diet

Charms:

Unicorn 🦄 on Temperance shows magic in your connection, it’s a reconciling energy, mixing what’s yours and theirs, even the differences and being patient with those qualities. It’s something you’ve resisted or maybe haven’t had the patience or hope for at all, which is what seems to be changing. It’s possible to just be happy, no swords necessary.

Moon 🌙 & Star ⭐️ on 2 Cups is definitely twin flame energy for someone. For others, it’s healing the hurt from someone else so that you can fall in love again, and you seem to already know them or be dating them if that’s the case. Who ever met a Libra that resisted love? Your ruling planet is literally Venus, love is your language. If platonic, this could be a family connection that needs healing. Things are at a place of change, with any number of family conflicts, love can overpower whatever went wrong here.

[atchriststable-blog]

THE MINISTRY OF THE REMNANT" PART 6 - L in the series “A Remnant Will Return"

The Ministry of the Remnant

25”And there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon; and this man was righteous and devout, looking forward to the consolation of Israel; and the Holy Spirit was upon him. 26 And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ. 27 And he came by the Spirit into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to carry out for Him the custom of the Law, 28 then he took Him in his arms, and blessed God.” Luke 2:25-28

“Looking away”

The character, Simeon, is a prophetic picture of the Church (Ecclesia). The Hebrew root of his name means “hearing”[1] – that is, to hear with obedience. This is the type of “hearing” commanded by the Spirit of Prophecy in Revelation chapters 2 and 3 – namely, “Hear what the Spirit says to the churches”.[2]

Luke indicates that Simeon was “looking for the consolation of Israel”. In the same way, we in the New Covenant are directed to look for the Second Coming of Christ, on the Day of the Lord:

“… awaiting and confidently expecting the fulfillment of our blessed hope and the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus….”[3]

“… Looking away from all that will distract us and focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith….”[4]

Simeon’s passion was to see Christ.[5] Ours should be the same. Like Christ-Centeredness, desiring the Second Coming of Christ can easily become a type of “lip-service”.[6] Except in the case of old-age and / or chronic illness, most of us – including Christians - don’t often even think about, none-the-less desire, the next life simply because we are flesh and blood and very much “invested” in the “affairs of this life”[7]. And contrary to “looking away from all that will distract us and focusing our eyes on Jesus” most Christian churches and ministries, while giving “lip service” to the Second Coming, unfortunately focus on “the affairs of this life” in an effort to “meet needs” and promote the pursuit of the “blessings” of the “successful Christian life”, which are essentially the same as the pursuits of the surrounding unregenerate culture. But the Remnant will be made up of those who, besides other things, have finished with the “vanity of vanities”[8] of this life; and are, in a true sense, looking for that “blessed hope” and “glorious appearance” of Christ.  

“Looking away” can be understood as the beginning of the “turning away” of repentance[9]. It may be said that one is either “Looking away” or “Falling away”.[10] The Greek word, apostasia[11], means “a falling away”, “a separation”, “a divorce”, “a forsaking”. I believe that the roots of apostasy are in the substitution of the knowledge of religious things in place of revelation of Christ, and the substitution of religious activities for relationship with Christ. In a revelation-relationship vacuum, people begin to substitute an assortment of religious things and activities in order to fill in the emptiness. The phenomenon of apostasy is the substitution of something for Christ. W.E. Vine says that the Greek word, antichristos, can mean both “against Christ” and “instead of Christ”. 

Let’s consider further what happened that day in the temple: Simeon was waiting and looking for the Christ. He was led by the Spirit. When he saw “the child Jesus”, by the Spirit, he was able to recognize this Child was the long-awaited Christ. This was a Child of parents from the common people of Bethlehem. Crowds had not yet begun to follow Jesus; and He had not yet begun to do miraculous signs proving He was the Christ. This was before Christ’s “triumphant entrance” into Jerusalem. That day in the temple, Christ had not yet begun to be revealed publicly, yet Simeon was able to see in His infancy the Christ of God who would deliver the promises of God to His people. In Christendom, publicly-recognized success is what gets attention and a following. For the Remnant, it is something that can only be described as the “witness of the Spirit”, such as received by John when still in his mother’s womb[12], and that to which the apostle Peter testified in response to Jesus’ question[13] – a phenomenon in the same category as that which the apostle Paul referred to: “The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit….”[14]  

“Lifting up” Jesus

“He took Him up in his arms …”[15]

This is what A.T. Robertson had to say about this verse: “Arms (agkalas). Old Greek word, here only in the N.T. It means the curve or inner angle of the arm.”[16] Let’s reflect on this prophetic picture: “He took Him up in his arms….” Jesus said of Himself: “As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up.”[17] In other words, as all eyes were focused on the serpent, all eyes are to be focused on Christ - as the Foundation, The Head, and the Center. Again, Jesus said of Himself: “And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to Myself.”[18] People will focus on whatever - or Whoever - we focus on. Namely, the focus is on Christ – not Israel, and not the Church.

“He took Him up in his arms…”

Let’s reflect just a little further on this prophetic picture: “He took Him up in his arms….” The apostle John wrote: “…God has given us eternal life (the life of the Eternal One) and this life is in His son. He who possesses[19] the Son possesses the life…”[20] What do we embrace - “possess” - of Christ with regards to revelation and relationship? This is the secret to living in and being able to share with others the Resurrection Life[21] of the Eternal One. We can only give what we have. Simeon is a picture of the Remnant – possessing, embracing – “holding fast to (seizing and retaining)[22] the Head” of the Body.[23]

~ TO BE CONTINUED ~

Bill and Frances Furioso www.AtChristsTable.org

FOOTNOTES

[1] Hebrew: Shimon, Strong’s # 8085

[2] Revelation 2:11, 17, 29; 3:6, 13, 22; Cf.13:9

[3] Titus 2:13 AMP

[4] Hebrews 12:2 AMP

[5] Cf. Luke 2:26, 29-32

[6] Cf. Isaiah 29:13; Matthew 15:8

[7] Cf. 2 Timothy 2:4

[8] Cf. Ecclesiastes 1:2, 12:8

[9] Greek: metanoeo, Strong’s 3340, meta – change, noeo – to perceive, change of perception

[10] In 2 Thessalonians 2:2-3 Paul said that the Day of the Lord would come after the “falling away” (apostasy). 

[11] Strong’s # 646

[12] Luke 1:41

[13] Matthew 16:13-20

[14] Romans 8:16

[15] Luke 2:28 ESV

[16] Word Pictures in the New Testament, A.T. Robertson

[17] John 3:14. Cf. Numbers 21:6-9. A bronze serpent: i.e., a judged and condemned serpent. Romans 8:3 “… God sent His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh.” 2 Corinthians 5:21 “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf….” i.e., Jesus became judged and condemned as the serpent in the wilderness.

[18] John 12:32

[19] Greek: echo, Strong’s # 2193

[20] 1 John 5:11-12

[21] Romans 6:9; Revelation 2:8. Resurrected life is associated with miraculous power: Mark 6:14; John 2:22

[22] Greek: krateo, Strong’s # 2902

[23] Colossians 2:19

[phoebe-delia]

Takes One to Know One

Rated M for implied and slight NSFW. Also angst. Based on "cowboy like me" by Taylor Swift.

The first time it happened, I could chalk it up to coincidence.

That we'd both be at the same gala, drinking the same cheap rose and plastering the same false smiles on our faces, stealing secret scowls at one another—it had to be the worst kind of serendipity, a karmic irony.

The grift I'd planned, the scheme that my every move had been leading up to for months was out the window the moment I saw you.

What I couldn't have expected, though, was the way we stumbled into bed, clumsy and fierce and competitive. And, come to find out, that we'd been there for the same reason.

"I'm tired of those arseholes pretending they give a shit and then not doing anything about it," you'd said before taking a drag of your cigarette. It was, at that point, the most surreal form of pillow talk I'd ever experienced. "Plus, they kept inviting me to those fucking things, so I figure I might as well get something out of them."

"How noble," I'd mused.

You'd snorted. "You're doing the same. I've seen the donation records at Hogwarts."

I'd looked at you sharply. "You have no evidence th—"

You'd chuckled. "Come off it, Malfoy. I know for a fact that between the reparations your family paid after the war, and the fact that you earn an average Ministry salary, you couldn't possibly have gotten all that money on your own."

It had made me speechless, so I scowled instead. You just laughed again, because you're an insufferable git for whom my hatred knows no bounds.

"We could team up," you'd said, eyes calculating. "My status and your legilimancy."

I'd merely reached over and plucked the cigarette from your fingers, twisting it thoughtfully between my thumb and forefinger, lips pursed. I took a drag, letting the smoke billow from my lips before passing it back to you.

"Thanks for the offer, Potter, I'm flattered," I'd said, rising from your bed and slipping into my now rumpled clothes. "But I work alone."

You'd hummed, golden skin looking warm against the white sheets, limbs spread out insouciantly on the bed. I willed my eyes not to glance down at the way the sheet was slightly tented between your legs. "Ah, well. I suppose I'll see you next time, Malfoy."

I'd huffed. "Don't count on it, Potter."

This, tonight, was the fifth time we'd run into each other at one of these farcical events. I felt your presence before I heard or saw you. I knew you were there; sensed you, like I've always done. I was starting to suspect you were stalking me, and I told you as much, murmuring my accusations when you appeared beside me at the bar.

You'd smirked. "I don't think I'd be able to find you if you didn't want to be found."

Tonight, sticky and sated, you roll off of me with a groan. I bask in the afterglow, trying to memorize the sight of you in my bed, the way your hair and skin look against my sheets, my pillowcases.

You let out a contented sigh. "You were right."

"To which instance of my being right are you referring? There are so many possibilities."

You scoff, a short and halfhearted thing. "About us not working together. It's better this way. Keeps things simple."

I grunt in answer, nonplussed at the sudden wave of hurt that washes over me. I feel vulnerable, somehow; exposed. And I hate it so viscerally, so instantly.

So, I say, "About time for you to head out now, isn't it, Potter?"

You raise your eyebrows. "Kicking me out, Malfoy?"

I shrug cooly. "You fulfilled your purpose here. You're a decent fuck, but I'm tired, now. So," I wave a hand. "Shoo."

You roll your eyes, seemingly unfazed, and it makes me even angrier, so I kick at you until you slide out of bed with an irritated, "Okay, okay, jeez."

You dress, and I feel your gaze on me the entire time, even as I turn onto my side, my back to you, and demand that you "turn out the lights on your way out, Potter."

You slip out the door, the hinges closing so softly it might as well have been the wind.

[witchersgoldenbard]

My sweet darling @mayastormborn asked for some nonverbal Geralt:

Some non-verbal Geralt during winter, and they all allow him to just *be*? No one asks him anything, they just bring him some of his safe-foods and a drink and top it up through the day. Any conversation is through gestures though as little as possible

Well, sweetness, I hope this little thing brings you some comfort and is somewhere near what you had in mind 💕👉👈 (tho it’s not and I will try again)

1.8k words, no warnings except the obvious

No Words Required

When Geralt wakes up with the first light, the weak rays of the winter sun slowly but stubbornly bringing a new day to Kaer Morhen, he knows it is one of those days that will have to remain silent on his part. Usually, he would turn to Jaskier beside him and press a kiss to his brow to wish him a good morning, but the very thought of talking is almost enough to quicken his heartbeat and make his hands shake. No talking, then.

He closes his eyes again and tries to fall back to sleep, maybe he just needs to start this day over. He doesn’t dare to hope, but it might be worth a try.

Despite giving it another chance, his tongue still feels too heavy in his mouth when he opens his eyes again, the world around him still blurry and sharp-edged at the same time. So Geralt has no option but to accept his fate. At least for today. Only for today, he hopes.

“Good morning, my love,” comes Jaskier’s tired voice from beside him, and Geralt thanks the Gods he doesn’t believe in that he can still find happiness in this familiar tone. Grateful that not all his senses are set to overwhelm him today.

He turns to smile at Jaskier, who waits a moment, gives him a chance to say the words he doesn’t have the strength to utter today. Wants to force himself to say, but his heart, his hands, his head, they all deny him. Warn him.

And Jaskier only softens his smile and asks, as quietly as he can, “Silence day?”

Bless him. Bless this man, this wonderful man, for understanding. For knowing him well enough, for seeing, for asking.

Geralt nods, but reaches out to hold Jaskier’s hand with only a slight tremble in his fingers, afraid to find that touch will be denied, too. But the warmth of Jaskier’s skin feels good, the softness under his fingers bringing its usual comfort, and Geralt smiles at the bard’s hands.

“Touch and noise still fine, darling?” Jaskier asks anyway, despite seeing the smile he is wearing. Always asking, always reassuring. Always loving and caring. Always there.

Geralt nods and taps Jaskier’s hand twice, too.

“Would you like me to tell the others?”

Geralt hesitates, quickly calculating if he has enough strength to grunt and hum his way through the day, make enough noise for them to let it pass. But it feels wrong, and he knows they don’t judge. They all have these days, even Jaskier, and it’s always better if everyone knows.

So he nods and is rewarded with a gentle smile.

“Wonderful. And this is going to be the last complex question of the day, I know they’re hard, but technically it’s still yes-or-no? Really, it will depend on your response, uhm—“

Geralt squeezes Jaskier’s hand and regards him with an amused smile. He loves this man so much, how could he not smile even when the world is heavy around him?

“Right, sorry,” Jaskier mumbles and sits up, scratching the back of his head and looking at Geralt. “Is there anything you need? Except to not talk, and possibly the usual, you know. Anything you need, right now?”

The hand still wrapped around Jaskier’s wrist gives Geralt perfect leverage to just pull and have Jaskier land on top of him with an undignified squawk. The bard chuckles as he lies on top of Geralt, their warm chests pressed together like they were made for just this.

Jaskier hums the moment Geralt’s arms wrap around his middle, keeping the warm and comforting weight on top of him. Let the world be heavy, he thinks. I am safe right here.

“I’ve got you, love,” Jaskier promises. “And you’ve got this.”

***

The first time Geralt goes nonverbal around him, it’s a few weeks after Posada. They are returning from a contract, off to find the alderman to receive their well-deserved coin. Jaskier is prattling on about heroics and monsters and witchers, only interrupting his enthusiastic monologues to hum a tune, trying for a melody and always discarding it immediately.

He has grown used to silence beside him, looming and annoyed and stoic. Hums, at most, though they are always more like grunts, noncommittal and monotonous.

But then, suddenly, the hums stop and the Witcher’s ever-focused eyes have lost some of their shine. Jaskier notices these things — of course he does, he’s an artist after all! And Geralt has pretty eyes. But that’s beside the point.

“Geralt?” he asks, stopping in his tracks and watching the Witcher beside him. The same Witcher who doesn’t even notice that he stopped walking, eyes on the road before him, seemingly lost in thought.

“Geralt!” Jaskier calls again. Still no reply, but the Witcher finally stops. Stands. Looks at him over his shoulder. His eyes still not entirely right, and Jaskier doubts it comes from the various potions he has had last night.

“Something’s wrong,” he says, and Geralt glances around after a second, hand moving to his sword. Good, Jaskier thinks, he’s not completely out of it. “No,” he says and takes a step forward, noticing the sudden tension between Geralt’s shoulders. He stops. “No, I mean… With you. Are you alright?”

Geralt frowns. Well, at least there’s a constant for you.

“Are you okay, Geralt?” he asks again, gentler but really starting to worry.

Another frown, but this time followed by a nod. Which is not very reassuring. Jaskier might not know him well, but he knows right then that he’s lying. He lets it go, though, and they make their way to the town, easily finding the alderman.

A wretched man who only wants to give them half their payment, but Geralt doesn’t seem inclined to argue. Jaskier frowns and gives the alderman a piece of his mind, making a whole scene for everyone around to hear. “And if the Witchers on the whole Continent might hear from the White Wolf’s bard that you betray them, that your hand doesn’t fulfill what your tongue promises, maybe you shall surrender to the monsters then. Leshen and whatever so pleases shall feast on you, maybe that will be the day you wish you had paid the White Wolf what he was promised and more!”

Needless to say, they leave with more coin than expected, and Jaskier can’t wipe the smug grin off his face.

Geralt smiles at him for the first time, then, over their small campfire, and Jaskier smiles back.

“Is speaking hard for you today?” he finally dares to ask.

Geralt stares at him. Nods.

Jaskier nods back. Grins.

“Well, good thing you have me then, isn’t it? A bard to yell at stupid people for you. We’ll make a great team, you’ll see.”

Geralt doesn’t say anything to that, obviously. But even the next day, when the first thing he does is insult Jaskier’s fashion sense, he doesn’t mention it, doesn’t deny it. And Jaskier is sure he didn’t imagine that small smile that could have meant Maybe you are right.

Either way, he was.

***

Jaskier leaves the bed before Geralt, promising to bring him breakfast.

“You still have three other meals you can try to leave bed for, let’s have breakfast here,” Jaskier argues with a grin and a fine that brooks no room for discussion even if Geralt were up for it.

And so, they have breakfast in bed. It’s warm and comfortable and Jaskier chatters away, not expecting a response in any way. Perfect background noise, taking away the sharp edges of his surroundings, making everything a little less overwhelming and oppressive. Jaskier knows his place in the network of Geralt’s nonverbal days as he talks, keeping his voice down and calm and so, so warm. Familiar.

It almost makes him feel normal. It definitely makes him feel safe.

When he finally has enough strength to leave bed, they make their ways downstairs to sit by the hearth. Geralt has found that the warmth helps, brings him physical comfort when there is nothing else to ground him.

“Good to see you, pup,” Vesemir says and claps a broad hand on Geralt’s shoulder after looking at Jaskier for a second. Geralt smiles.

Pup. Vesemir only calls them that on the heavy days, and it’s a constant that always helps them through the worst of it.

Life still happens around him, everyone has their own tasks, and where he’s sitting in the middle of it all, he feels like he still gets to be a part of it.

There are warm foods throughout the day and a jug of something hot and spiced always appears by his side. Geralt is not completely sure how the time passes, but it doesn’t matter.

What matters is that Lambert is sat beside him, silent, offering his company. If Geralt leans into him and Lambert leans back, well, then that’s between them.

What matters is Eskel who lies down on the fur beside the hearth and gently pulls Geralt to lie on top of him, head on his broad chest, careful hand running through his silver hair. He talks, though all Geralt feels is the rumbling of his chest.

It’s all that matters.

***

The first time it happens around Eskel, they’re both still pups. Barely grown into Witchers yet.

“There are worse things than not talking, Geralt,” Eskel tells him, Geralt’s head resting on his shoulders. “I know it’s scary. It feels like there’s nothing worse. But it doesn’t make you any less of a Witcher. Or any less Geralt. You’re still the White Wolf, even if you can’t howl. I’ll howl for you, Wolf,” he promises with a kiss to his cheek. “And when the day comes, you’ll do the same for me. Because it happens. And it fucking sucks, but you’ve got this, okay? And I’ve got you.”

Geralt nods into Eskel’s shoulder and tries not to feel pathetic that the only sounds the world gets to hear from him that day are his sobs.

***

But Eskel was right then and is still right now. They’ve got each other and they take care of each other. Howl and fight and protect each other.

They do the same for Lambert on his heavy days.

And for Jaskier, years and years and years later.

For Ciri and Yennefer and everyone who needs it.

That’s what family does. Nothing has to change on the days you can’t talk, on the days that words fail you. There are always people to yell at the world for you, to wrap you in a hug and tell you everything you need to hear. Even Witchers can have that.

And Geralt has a whole family now to tell him: “You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.”

It’s really all that matters.

[keimisan]

↪ greater than sapphires- rin. haitani

- in which rindou has a unique way to comfort your insecurities.

pairing: haitani rindou x fem!reader

wc: 737

warning(s): necessary cursing :)

a/n: credits to @missinghan for this magnificent fic idea and for proofreading, this is supposed to be comedy with fluff, i swear its not sad.

you'd known before you had accepted his proposal that there'd be times where your differences would stand out, when it'd put a sickening glut of fragility in your throat, when it'd gnaw and overpower your thoughts with whispers and labrish you'd rather not hear. you'd known before you had accepted his hands that you'd have to put those differences aside, would have to compromise as much as he does for you, and appreciate the littlest moments of warmth you could share with him.

but now, as you sit with your head clotted and propelled into oblivion, eyes cast downward as you try your best to keep your sentiments at bay. usually, you weren't emotional enough to witness and feel the crude emotions of insecurity, or even the slightest bit of doubt towards yourself. but now, with your notions in a gallop, it seemed to be unavoidable.

this was all the more awful when you were spending time with the aforementioned rindou haitani after days you'd lost count of, after hours of the absence of his frigid eyes and after months of falling into his lesser priorities. you should be enjoying these moments, but here you were, pondering about that little grudge your heart had painted onto the ring of your hands.

"alright, what's up," — comes the voice of the subject of your thoughts, his deadpan intonation failing to push through even the most minuscule of emotions.

perhaps, he had better things to do and here he was, wasting his precious time with you- doing things that won't earn him his monthly tuition fees.

"nothing."

perhaps, he was regretful of even showing up to your door, grimacing at how lavishly he's squandering his seconds and fulfilling your incomprehensible needs that he'd rather not.

"y/n, i am serious."

perhaps, being his second, third or even his fourth priority was the best you could wish for.

"so am i."

rindou sits beside you on the couch, his glass of cold water long forgotten as he searches for your eyes under the heavy cloak of your gloom. "y/n, tell me if i did something wrong."

he didn't need to be burdened by your incessant worries that made no sense, however, you wanted to ask if the root of all this was against his agreement.

you shift your eyes towards the denim of his jeans and heave in a deep breath, "don't you ever regret being with me?"

it seems to pull him aback, and you expect him to argue back with the undertones of an affirmative response. but he doesn't let the surprise appear in his conduct- instead, his voice rasps into sombre silence, "what makes you think that?"

rindou leans down even more as to achieve a clear look of your ill-lit expression, but you shroud further into your own frostbites that tingle from the tips of your toes to the back of your neck, "well, i don't know, it's just," you take a pause, one seconds and two more, and then your voice drops down an octave, “I feel like I don't deserve you. you have so many priorities, so many important things that can't begin to be compared to me. i feel like you're forcing yourself to be with me because, i'm, i'm just not that great.”

this time, rindou kneels down on the floor right in front of you, one of his hands rising up to caress the stray hair away from your somber orbs, "look," he says, and you're sure you're about to get that lecture you'd feared all this time.

perhaps you were being ungrateful when he was even sparing you a scarce piece of him.

but the boy before you lets out the most amusing tch past his lips, and continues in a self-demeaning ramble, “that’s the most backward ass shit I’ve ever heard. it doesn’t mean you’re not that great, heck, you're greater than sapphires. it just means I’m a giant asshole. I can’t believe you’re letting a man, a man get to you like this.”

the chortle that leaves you is completely involuntary, and the way rindou looks at you in sheer disbelief fuels the tickling sensation on the outskirts of your stomach, “but rin- you’re that man."

rindou lets out the second tch of the day, clicking his tongue as a smile, slowly but surely, proceeds to tint his lips.

“oh yea you cracked the case sherlock.”

"call yourself an asshole again."

"shut up."

i swear i'm not forgetting my requests

[starshapedkookie]

Southpaw

pairing: jungkook x female reader (ft. a little sprinkle of namjoon)

genre: childhood friends to lovers, boxer jungkook, college/frat au

includes: swearing, angst, mentions of blood and violence, pining, smut (public/private, unprotected sex, hair pulling, jungkook is big guys, duh), alcohol, smoking weed, jungkook seems like an asshole but he’s really not, OC having a crisis every two seconds, some fluff here and there as well, also this takes place over many months just saying if time gets confusing

premise: Knowing Jeon Jungkook for the better part of your life, you thought you knew everything about him. Well, that was before you two disappeared from each other’s lives at least. When Jungkook suddenly finds himself buying you a coffee to rekindle your friendship, it leads to much more than you bargained for.

word count: 30k (she’s a monster sorry guys) 

quick note: this is my first story back in a year(?) give or take some weeks!! kind of nervous to post & not sure if my writing has declined in anyway but nonetheless here is the beast that has been sitting on my computer since April 2019!! quick disclaimer I don’t know much about boxing so if I get stuff wrong - I apologize!! please enjoy & let me know what you think ❤️happy 7 years BTS!

recommended songs for reading: pray (JRY, RuthAnne), mushroom chocolate (6lack, quin), hallucinate (dua lipa), wus good/curious (partynextdoor)

_____

The evening was slow—after all, it was only a Wednesday. You had just finished serving a table of two—a young man and young woman—presumably on a midweek date. You didn’t recognize either of them which wasn’t surprising considering the campus grossed about 20,000 people. You began to wipe down tables out of boredom, glancing at the clock every two minutes hoping it would jump to when your shift was over in forty-five minutes. Thankfully, you didn’t have much work to do when you got home, but you are wishing to get in bed before 10:30 to get a full eight hours of sleep for your lectures tomorrow—something you had not had in about two months. Most days, like today, you were running on five hours of sleep and five cups of coffee. It wasn’t healthy, you knew that much, but it’s how you had to live your life. Your schedule was too demanding to hit the snooze button multiple times. You had shit to do—and getting your degree was the top priority.

“Y/N,” your coworker, Mark, called your name from behind of the counter.

“Yeah?” You respond.

“Will you come help me clean this out?” He asks you and you nod diligently.

“Of course,” you say, dropping your current task of wiping already clean tables. Mark was the one student that worked here you could stand to be around. He was very much like you in the sense that school came before anything—he too was on a full academic scholarship. He worked here before you, but he made you feel the most comfortable out of everyone. You would consider him a close friend at this point.

The espresso machine was a pain in the ass to clean and did call for two people most of the time. Besides, you would rather smell the remnants of coffee beans than the harsh chemicals of bleach gliding across a table.

“You have much work to do after your shift?” He asks you.

“No, thank god,” you shake your head, “I got most of my shit done between my classes today. You?”

“I have to write a ten page paper by midnight,” he sighs, “And guess how many pages I have started.”

You give him a short glance, “I’m gonna take a wild guess and say zero.”

“Damn right,” he smiles. A short silence between you two ensues before he speaks again, “Oh! Did I tell you I’m graduating early?”

“What? Really?” You look at him and an excited grin plays on his face. “When?”

“Yeah, I spoke to my advisor this afternoon and turns out, the classes I’m taking this semester is all I need for my degree,” he speaks with a relieved tone.

“Wow, that’s awesome,” you say genuinely, “I wish that was me,” you give out a small chuckle.

“I’m just glad I don’t have to keep stressing over this hell-hole,” he laughs, “The sooner I get out of here, the better.”

“I feel you on that,” you say, “I’m proud of you nonetheless, you’ve worked your ass off dealing with this scholarship.”

He gives you a small smile in return but it’s broken by the bell ringing from the door, signaling a new customer has decided to come in. Your eyes break from Mark’s and glance over to the door, your head doing a double take.

Your mouth goes dry when you see them—more specifically—him. 

No, it wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him, but you couldn’t remember the last time you had seen him outside of a frat party on the weekends. And truly, it was your first time getting a good look at him in awhile. You felt nervous—though you had no reason to be nervous. You had known him since long before your days as university students, but since you weren’t plastered in this scenario, looking at him seemed more like a chore than ever.

“You want me to get their table?” Mark asks you and you look back at him.

“No, I got it,” you say, throwing down the cleaning cloth, wiping your hands on your apron.

The small group of boys are too busy in their own conversation to see you approaching them. You clear your throat before grabbing some menus off of the podium.

“Hey guys, welcome,” your voice breaks their conversation. The three men your age turn to you all at once and a small smile erupts from one of them.

“Y/N? I didn’t know you worked here?” Taehyung—another person you knew all too well—smiles and speaks brightly

“Yup,” you say simply, “Just been here a little over a month,” you explain pressing the best smile you can muster up. “C’mon, I’ll get you seated and get your order in.”

You lead them towards the back of the small restaurant, seating them in a booth. As they follow you from behind, you can feel their eyes burning into your back and you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs. They sit down and you pass out the menus.

“What would you guys like to drink?” You ask, putting a hand on your hip.

“I’ll take a coke,” Hobi—you remember his name easily as you see him around in a few of your classes.

“Coke as well,” Taehyung says.

“Jungkook?” His name rolls off your tongue and it sounds foreign. You couldn’t remember the last time you had said it, let alone to his face. His brown eyes meet yours and he clears his throat.

“I’ll just take a water,” he finally speaks, his gaze breaking just as fast as it met yours.

“I’ll get those right out,” a grimace spreads on your face and you turn on your heels to fulfill their drink orders. You hadn’t expected the encounter to be so awkward and have so much tension—but what did you expect?

Your relationship with Jeon Jungkook was a strange one to say the least. You had known him longer than anyone you associated with—you meet each other at the tender age of eight in elementary school. You remember that day so vividly.

You had been assigned a seat right beside of him the first day of school. He kept his eyes away from you. Being the energetic child you were, you were expecting him to introduce himself but—he never did. It actually took being in school a whole week to get him to talk to you. You nudged his arm with your elbow and his eyes meet yours for the first time. You smiled at him, “I like your shirt,” to which he responded a small, “Thank you.” He picked at his nails and you smiled at him again, “I’m Y/N,” though he would already know that sitting beside of you. “I’m Jungkook,” he spoke again with a shy smile. That day would change both of your lives—all thanks to you and your mouth that couldn’t shut the hell up.

Four years later, at the age of twelve, Jungkook was your best friend. For four years, he was the one person you had came to all about your problems—he as well. The two of you would complain equally about school, he would complain about his older brother picking on him, you would complain about your younger sister bothering you nonstop—the two of you were more alike in more ways than you could imagine. Despite getting older and more different, you and Jungkook shared the same friend group. You had met a girl named Kim Jennie during a pre-algebra class and Jungkook had met a lively kid named Kim Taehyung—no they weren’t related but you often joked about it. It was nice having another close friend instead of just having Jungkook—especially a girl. You and Jennie had more in common than you and Jungkook and Jungkook and Taehyung and more in common than you two. But—the four of you clicked and you spent nearly everyday with each other.

At sixteen, a lot of stuff had changed. Yes, you, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jennie had all remained best friends, but high school was definitely not the same as middle school. You and Jennie joined the tennis team, Jungkook and Taehyung joined the soccer team—Jungkook also joining the baseball team—which kept the four of you more separated than you would have liked. The four of you all sat together at lunch each day, but as each day passed, something felt different with Jungkook. And then, halfway through your second year of high school, the news broke that Jungkook had a girlfriend—a cute girl named Yuna—who was actually older than him by a year. You felt indifferent about it. He didn’t speak to you as much as he used to and he would ditch you, Jennie and Taehyung to hang out with her. It didn’t bother Jennie or Taehyung as much as it bothered you—but then again—you had known him since you were eight and it felt weird not being Jungkook’s number one girl. You hated to say it—but you were jealous and you had no idea why.

Two years had passed, the four of you all eighteen and fully legal now. It was the end of your last year of high school and you could not be more ready to leave. Growing up through high school together, the thought of all of you going to the same university was a dream. The four of you were excited to move on to new things. Jungkook and Yuna had broken up a few months prior, not being able to work through the distance of her being away at college. Jungkook soon started molding back to how he was before—texting you throughout the day, complaining, just being Jungkook—you were happy, happier than when he was with Yuna. It was May when you had received the news that you had been offered a full ride academic scholarship. You cried and cried tears of joy—finally busting your ass for so long had paid off. Jungkook was so proud of you, though he didn’t outwardly show it, the way he looked at you when you had told him was all you needed. Taehyung suggested it—a small celebration of sorts for you—a.k.a. the four of you getting absolutely plastered in his basement. Taehyung had managed to steal some alcohol from his parents and before the four of you knew it, beers had been downed and half a bottle of tequila had been drank. You were laying on the floor, giggling at everything Jennie did, dancing around the room with a bottle of vodka in hand. Jungkook had laid down beside of you, his eyes boring deep onto you. You crane your neck and give him a small smile, not realizing how little space was between the two of you. Jungkook supports himself on an elbow and it was then you had realized how handsome Jungkook had actually become. He spent so long away from you when he was dating Yuna, you didn’t realize how much he had grown into his features. That night—was singlehandedly the best and worst night of your life.

You had no idea what came over you, but you stood up throwing out your hand for Jungkook to take. He grabbed it with no hesitation, him towering over you as your chests touched and it was the closest the two of you had ever been. Jungkook had looked over to Jennie and Taehyung, still drinking and acting stupid, before grabbing your hand and pulling you into the closest bathroom and shutting the door. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you grip his shirt tightly. The next few moments are a blur—Jungkook kisses you—actually kisses you. He gripped your waist tightly, pushing you against the door. A small whine emitted from your lips as he pulled away and you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He kissed you again, pulling your thigh up to rest in his hand. This was wrong—so wrong in so many ways. But neither of you stopped until a bang from the other side of the door broke the steamy makeup session.

That night changed everything between you two. Neither of you talked about it ever again. Despite being so drunk to the point of blacking out—you remember every detail—and so did he. That summer, you and Jungkook grew apart. And it was the worst thing to ever happen to you.

Now, at twenty-one, almost through university, you had interacted with Jungkook only a handful of times. You had studied together a few times your freshman year, but after your first year, you could count on your hands how many times you had seen each other. Most of the time, only seeing him at parties with other girls hanging off of him. It was painful to see. Even after 3 years of a drunken kiss in Taehyung’s bathroom, it hurt more than ever to see Jungkook with other girls—but at the same time you didn’t care. You had moved on and so did he. You two were now strangers but your life was good—you didn’t need him like you used to think. And he seemingly didn’t either.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N?” Mark nudged you out of your obnoxiously long reverie and you jumped out of your skin. “Are you okay?” He asks.

You look down and realize that you haven’t taken the three of them their drinks, the ice now watering them down to shit.

“Y-yeah, I’m just tired is all,” you begin to pour out the drinks to get new ones before Mark stops you.

“Here, I’ll handle them,” he says, “You can go home early, it’s fine,” he smiles.

“A-are you sure?” You ask him, not wanting to leave him by himself.

“Yeah, it’s about closing time anyways. Just head out, I’ll close,” he nods with a smile and you can’t help but to throw you arms around him.

“Jesus, thank you. I promise I’ll make it up to you one day,” you tell him pulling away. You wash your hands quickly and throw off your apron.

“Get home safe,” he says and you tell him the same before grabbing your bag. You glance one last time to the table in the back and unexpectedly, Jungkook is staring at you. It makes your breathing hitch and you turn around on your heel quickly, not wanting to linger on his gaze longer than you need to.

_____

The weekend comes slower than you would like, but it’s Friday which means one thing—time to go out and get a much needed dose of social life. You and Jennie had found yourself at the Beta Tau Sigma crush party at their fraternity house that evening.

“Here you go, m’lady,” Namjoon comes into your peripheral vision, handing you a drink he specially made just for you.

“Thanks,” you give him a small smile. You take a huge gulp without hesitation—you trusted Namjoon with your life. Not only was he on academic scholarship too, he was also the president of this fraternity which meant if he didn’t act straight—he would face serious consequences. The mix of brains, being ridiculously handsome, and being in a fraternity was a recipe for disaster—he was your type—bonafide. You were his type too which is maybe why the two of you clicked so well, particularly in bed.

“My feet are fucking killing me,” you groan glancing down at your heels, rolling your eyes in the back of your head. Namjoon throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.

“At least you look hot as fuck,” he lips brush against your ear and you give him a glare.

“Isn’t hot kind of a degrading term in today’s world?” You press.

He narrows his eyes at you, “Fine—you look beautiful, cute, sexy—is that better?”

“Much better,” you nod playfully and Namjoon gets bold—pulling you even closer to him for a small peck on your lips. Eyes linger on the two of you but you couldn’t care. So many girls would love to be in your position and you feel lucky to have captivated Namjoon at least for now. Besides, he was good at fucking and you needed stress relief, as did he.

Unsuspecting, Jungkook waltzed his way into the room and he immediately stops when he sees the sight of you and his older brother Namjoon. He had heard rumors about the two of you, which he brushed off—you would never go after someone like Namjoon—oh who is he kidding? You and Namjoon are the same person and it kills Jungkook inwardly. The way Namjoon is nuzzled into your neck and the way you're smiling, giggling to every word he says, makes him feel uncomfortable. You looked so different at parties than how he saw you a few days ago at your work. Your legs looked sexy as fuck in your short black dress, your hair flowed down beautifully as opposed to being thrown up, the way red lipstick painted your mouth made him semi hard. Jesus, how after all this time, does he still think about you like this?

Your eyes break away from Namjoon and your smile falls when they meet a familiar set of doe eyes from across the room. Your breath hitches and Jungkook looks so handsome you want to die. His dark hair is slightly parted, his button up is undone at the top, and his legs fulfill his pants better than any guy here. He downs two shots, not breaking his gaze from you. You feel intimidated by his gaze and presence, despite having seen him at these things multiple times. The only difference is that now—he’s giving you some attention that you weren’t ready for.

Your gaze breaks away from each other when a group of loud boys—including Taehyung as well as Kai, another brother within the fraternity—come rushing into the room, hauling a keg in tow.

“Hyung! Come on,” Taehyung teases drunkenly as they set down the keg. There are many hyung’s for Taehyung in the room to not have specified which one he was talking about, until he deadpans on Namjoon. “Namjoon-hyung, come on!”

Namjoon begins to shake his head in protest, “I’d rather not,” he puts his hands up, keeping his distance from Taehyung, “Gotta keep an eye on this one tonight,” he nudges you and Taehyung’s eyes widen when her realizes it’s actually you, standing beside of his older brother.

“Y/N! Hey! What’s up! Didn’t expect to see you here, especially with this one again,” he narrows his eyes to Namjoon.

“Hi Taehyung,” you give him a small smile.

“Do a keg stand with me?” His eyes bulge out like a puppy dog and your own widens in shock at the question.

“Oh no,” you protest, looking up at Namjoon, “Last time I did a keg stand was freshman year and I said never again,” you explain to him. He gives you a pout.

“Fuck,” Taehyung says, “Well who is gonna do this shit with me then?” He sounds impatient and frustrated.

“Get Jungkook too—he’s been looking over in this direction for too long, give ‘em something to do,” Namjoon says and you look up at him. Did he notice Jungkook looking at you? Shit.

“Hell yeah, that little shit will definitely do it,” Taheyung smirks and yells for Jungkook to come over. Jungkook is preoccupied with a girl before Taehyung breaks his mojo from across the room. Jungkook sees Taehyung and you standing together and he furrows his eyebrows. He excuses himself from his pussy date for the night and saunters his way over towards your direction. You keep your eyes anywhere but Jungkook as he approaches you.

“Hey hyung,” Jungkook greets Namjoon, “Y/N,” he says slowly and you tense up. “What do you want Taehyung?” He spits out. He’s clearly buzzed as the attitude coming off of his tongue is stronger than usual.

“Do this fucking keg stand with me pussy,” Taehyung presses and Jungkook scrunches his nose.

“Fuck no,” Jungkook responds and Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“Come onnnn,” he drags out, begging his life long best friend to do it.

“Absolutely not, I’ve done it once and I said never again,” Jungkook says and your eyes nearly pop out of your head. Taehyung looks at you and Jungkook and shakes his head.

“I swear you two are the same person in a different body, it’s weird,” Taehyung says, “Your loss,” and Taehyung is soon leaving your side to find someone else to do his proposition.

Jungkook is left standing in front of you and Namjoon in an awkward silence.

“Don’t forget, you’re on clean up duty Jeon,” Namjoon raises an eyebrow at the younger man.

Jungkook groans, “Fine, whatever hyung,” his words run together as he gives you a final glance, “See you later Y/N,” is the last thing he says before he walks away to find the girl he was smooching up prior.

Namjoon gives you a weird look before you are furrowing eyebrows at him, “What?” You ask.

“What’s up with you two?” He asks motioning over to Jungkook.

“What do you mean?” You gulp down your drink hoping to hide the nervousness in your tone.

“Didn’t you two use to be like, best friends or some shit?” He asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “Yeah, when we were kids,” you chuckle.

Namjoon doesn’t seemed convinced, “I remember you two hanging out a lot during Jungkook's freshman year here, what happened?”

You shrug once again, “People grow apart,” you answer simply, not wanting to go in detail how one kiss basically ruined whatever your friendship was with him. Namjoon suddenly smiles, a dimple showing in his left cheek.

“You know he talks about how hot you are? Not all of the time, but I’ve heard it before,” he laughs and you freeze in your spot.

“What are you trying to prove by interrogating me Joon?” You say with some attitude. That was the least thing you expected to come out of his mouth.

“Hey, I’m just asking questions!” He defends himself, “I just didn’t know if something happened between you two—like you dated or something and shit got weird, I don’t know… just curious,” he chuckles a bit.

You eyes widen and you feel yourself getting warm, “Oh no, we never dated or…anything like that…” you trail off. “We’ve just grown apart, we’re too different now.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow at you, “According to Taehyung you two are the same person.”

You glare at him, “Get me another drink,” you shove your cup into his hand and see laughs at you before sauntering away for a few seconds. He comes back with a full glass and you down half of it in a few seconds.

“Ew,” you scrunch up your nose. Nice, you think to yourself.

“Maybe you should talk to him? I’m sure having an old friend is nice every once in awhile,” Namjoon continues, clearly interested in your history with Jungkook.

“I have Jennie,” you answer, “Besides, conversation goes both ways. If he really wanted to be friends again, he could talk to me.” You knew that answer was stupid. Jungkook didn’t even speak to you when you were younger. You were the one that initiated the friendship, not him, and you knew that.

“Whatever you say space cowboy,” Namjoon draws out and you give him a glare.

“Did you just quote Kacey Musgraves?” You ask with a small smile on your face.

“Fuck yeah I did,” he smirks, “She’s a gay icon are you kidding me, I’m obsessed with her.”

“Joonie, you’re not even gay,” you laugh.

“So? I love anyone who supports gay rights! Don’t discriminate my quotes!” He defends himself and you cannot help but laugh at him.

“Let’s go dance,” you grab his hand and pull him out of the kitchen onto the main dance floor. Namjoon was perhaps one of the more attractive people you’ve met here in your four years. He oozed sex appeal and charisma, which is why anytime he wanted to hang out or take you to a party—you obliged. If it meant getting in his bed at the end of the night, wearing the heels was worth it.

Namjoon puts his hands on your waist and the two of you dance to music in the crowded dance floor. Namjoon grabs a bottle of liquor from one of his other brothers who you have never met before and the two of you share a nice gulp of the cheap—but very strong—vodka.

You haven’t had too much to drink but you know if you drink anymore, you will not make it back to your apartment. You push the bottle away from you and turn to face Namjoon. His brown eyes stare into yours with a glassy, tipsy appearance, and he smirks at you.

“What?” You question him as his grip gets tighter on you.

“I wasn’t lying when I said you looked hot,” he says smoothly and you roll your eyes yet again.

“How sweet,” you grumble, biting down on your bottom lip. Without a warning, he leans in and pecks your lips gently. The alcohol in your veins surges through you as you lean back in and close the gap. Even in your heels, you still have to crane your neck some to fully reach his stature. His hands grip your waist tightly and you tug at his light brown locks, pulling him impossibly closer to you.

He presses himself into you a little bit harder and you can tell he wants you, his hands gripping one at your waist and the other one in your hair. Everything around you goes blank was it only feels like the two of you in the room together. Unfortunately, your moment is ruined when someone bumps into the two of you, knocking you apart. Namjoon steadies you and he glares at the two girls that ran into you.

“You want to get out of here?” Namjoon says into your ear, his breath fanning over your neck sending chills down you body.

“Yeah,” you nod a little too excitedly and he grabs your hand pulling you away from everyone. Namjoon is taking you up the stairs before someone calls out your name.

“Y/N!” You turn around in Namjoon’s grip to find Jennie holding onto the railing of the stairs, swaying back and forth drunkenly.

“Oh god,” you mutter.

“Is she okay?” Namjoon asks as he follows behind you back down the stairs. No, in fact, she looks terrible.

“Jennie, what’s up? I thought you were with Suzy?” You ask her and her face scowls.

“I was, but then… he showed up,” Jennie says, knowing exactly who she is talking about, “And he brought another girl with him! Y/N, what’s wrong with me? Am I not good enough for him?” Jennie is rambling as tears began to flow down her face. You look at Namjoon as he assesses the situation.

“I-I can get an Uber for her, if you’d like?” Namjoon offers and you nod.

“Please?” You beg and Namjoon grabs your hand squeezing it reassuringly before walking away to get the car.

“Jennie, come on, snap out of it,” you tell her and she continues to sob in your arms.

“Y/N, I don’t get it, I love him and he says he loves me but he does this shit all of the time,” she rambles.

“I know, I know,” you try to calm her down, “Jennie your drunk right now, but you’re so much better than him. I know you don’t realize it, but you are—“

“He makes me feel like shit,” Jennie sighs and you cradle your friend. Unfortunately, Jennie doesn’t have the best taste in men and she finds herself stuck in toxic situations she can’t get out of. You wish you could help more then you do but when Jennie is drunk, it’s hard to get anything through to her.

“Come on, let’s go to the bathroom,” you pull her up before she starts fighting you.

“I don’t need to use the bathroom though,” she pouts.

“Well, you might, let’s go,” you manage to hold her up and get to a bathroom in a hallway that isn’t too crowded. You reach for the handle only to be disappointed that it’s locked. Great.

You beat on the door with your free hand, “Hurry up in there! I have a crisis hanging off of my arm!”

“Hey, don’t call me that you bitch,” Jennie frowns and you roll your eyes, knowing she won’t remember any of this in the morning. You beat on the door again and again and again and finally, someone unlocks it and opens it fully.

The sight makes your eyes widen and your body heat up on fire. In front of you stands Jungkook against the counter zipping up his pants and the girl he was with earlier standing from her knees, wiping her mouth with a smirk. She leaves the bathroom, leaving you standing there with Jennie alone. When his eyes meet yours, his face goes ghostly pale. His mouth parts open and he feels like crawling into a hole to die.

“Y/N, Jennie?” Is all that comes from his mouth.

“Move Jungkook,” you say sternly and he moves to make room for you two in the bathroom.

“Uh, do you need any—“

“Leave Jungkook, I don’t need any help,” you say frustrated at the sight you just witnessed. You don’t know why you felt angry at him. You knew that he slept around like most fraternity boys—but to see him after getting sucked off in a bathroom—was new territory. Not only did it bring up the memory of you and him back in Taehyung’s bathroom all those years ago, it made you physically sick to know that you were just a pawn for him then. Who are you trying to kid? You were nothing to him. Once he figured out what his dick was used for, that’s all he cared about. Christ, you say to yourself, fuck him.

Jungkook leaves the two of you alone and within seconds, Jennie is over the toilet hurling her entire stomach up. You hold her hair back as she heaves into the toilet, trying not to gag yourself.

“Y/N,” she mumbles, “I don’t feel good.”

“I know, just keep it in the toilet please,” you say looking away at the sight.

Thankfully, Namjoon appears at the door. “The Uber is here,” he announces.

“Come on, we’re going to get you home,” you tell her, wiping her mouth with some toilet paper.

“Home?” She asks, “Thank god.”

Namjoon grabs her other side as the two of you carry her outside into the fresh air. You have to admit, the fresh air as sobered you up slightly. You spot the car waiting up front and Namjoon opens the door for Jennie.

“Thank you so much,” you tell Namjoon as he helps Jennie into the car.

“It’s seriously not a problem,” he smiles, “You should go with her,” he suggests and you feel your heart drop.

“A-are you sure?” You ask, subtle disappointment in your tone.

“Yeah, it’s fine—we’ll pick up another time,” he gives you a wink and you smile back.

“Okay, thanks again.”

You load into the back of the Uber with Jennie and you just pray that she doesn’t hurl in the car, for the sake of you and the Uber driver’s car. You were not about to pay the $200 fee for puke in the backseat. 

_____

The next morning comes all too quickly in your deep sleep. When you wake up, you are not expecting Jennie to be in your bed with you. You had nearly forgotten she refused to sleep in her own bed last night, therefore you having to give in to her wishes of sleeping with you. Thankfully, you don’t feel like you have too bad of a hangover. For Jennie though, you know she will probably be in bed all day with a bottle of Tylenol at her bedside.

You check your phone and your eyes nearly burst from your head. It’s 1:07 PM.

“Fuck,” you groan to yourself. You did not need to sleep this late considering you absolutely needed to study for your exams on Monday. Not only was it an exam—it was your midterm exams in your human sciences and financial analytics classes, two classes that were kicking your ass. The longer you laid in your bed, meant the longer you were losing time to cram in your studying. You swig the sheets and blankets off of you to find yourself still in your party dress from last night. You grab a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt from your wardrobe before heading to the bathroom.

Your appearance makes you shudder when you seeing yourself in the mirror. You didn’t even take off your makeup, mascara and lipstick stains spread out on your face. Now it was time to really pray that you wouldn’t breakout from the old layer of foundation on your face. You grab a makeup wipe to get the gunk off of yourself before you step into an insanely hot shower.

You manage to shower quickly, scrubbing your body and face off of any stench left of you from last night. You step out, moisturizing each crevice that you can reach before you throw on your clothes. You feel 200% better now that you have showered and you can hear footsteps coming down from the hallway. Jennie appears at the bathroom door rubbing her eyes harshly.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” you comment and she stretches out her limbs, her dress hiked up far up her legs where her underwear is showing.

“Ugh!” She groans loudly, “My head is pounding. What the fuck happened last night?”

“There’s some medicine out in the kitchen,” you say as you follow her out into your living room and kitchen area. She goes immediately to the medicine cabinet and downs two pills with ease.

“Where are you going?” She asks as you began to gather up your school work into your book-bag.

“I have to study,” you tell her and she closes her eyes again, the sun being too harsh for the light.

“It’s Saturday Y/N,” she says obviously.

“I know,” you zip up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, “But I have two midterms Monday—I can’t make below a B or I can get in trouble with the dean,” you explain and she nods, her sleepy gaze staring at you.

“Well, have fun. I’ll be here—dying,” she grins and you salute her off, leaving your shared apartment to go to the campus library.

The library is only about a ten minute walk and thankfully, not many students are flocking to the location on a Saturday afternoon. You assume that everyone is either hungover like Jennie or just don’t give a shit enough to come out and study.

You grab a coffee from the small coffee shop outside the library before you go in, sit down, and get to work on your studying. You turn on your classical music radio as you take out out your printed slides, notes, and textbooks. As strange as it is to say, as much as you hated studying—it’s where you felt the most comfortable. You knew you were smart and you knew school was your strongest trait—everyone knew that about you.

You go through each chapter of your human sciences class, writing and rewriting notes on new sheets of a paper. You make flashcards as you go along. You answer the obnoxiously long quiz questions at the end of your textbook as you go along. 

Thankfully, you haven’t had any distractions and before you know it, it’s been nearly two hours since you first sat down. Your coffee is now cold but you don’t care as you need the caffeine to keep you going. You are about to pull out all of your analytics material before suddenly, a coffee cup in placed on the table in front of you. You look at the source and look back down until you look up again. 

“Jungkook?” You ask pulling out one of your earbuds. His face is tired, the bags underneath his eyes prominent. He’s wearing a gray tracksuit, his hair messy underneath his somewhat contained beanie.

“H-hi,” he says simply, “Can I sit?” He asks referring to the chair across from you. You nod as he slings his backpack off and into the floor as he plops down in the chair.

“Hi,” you speak lowly. There’s tension between the two of you. It’s uncomfortable. You hate it, almost as much as you hate the sight you saw last night. “What’s up?” The question is simple, but forced.

He shrugs, “I dragged myself out to study despite my busting headache,” he says scratching the back of his neck.

“Jungkook in the library? To study? Did I hear that right?” You ask and he laughs slightly.

“Yup, unfortunately you did,” he answers before letting out a sigh. “I uh, got you this,” he slides the coffee cup over to you and you furrow your brows. You face heats up. Why would he buy you a coffee? The time Jungkook bought you something was a card and flowers the evening of your high school graduation, why the hell would he buy you a coffee?

“Thanks,” you laugh awkwardly grabbing the cup from him. You take a sip from the cup and realize it’s exactly how you like it. Three creams, an espresso shot, and a dash of vanilla flavoring. “How’d you know this is what I like?” You ask.

“Uh, you told me a few years back,” he says shy, his gaze ripping away from you. “I assumed it was the same, thank god,” he laughs trying to lighten up the mood.

“Thanks,” you repeat, unsure of what to say.

“Uh, how’s Jennie this morning?” He asks you with a genuine concern. You look from him, not being able to hold his gaze without burning up.

“She’s fine,” you say, keeping your eyes on your notes and hands in front of you.

“That’s good,” he says awkwardly. His leg is bouncing uncontrollably underneath the table and he feels like he needs to throw up.

“Why did you buy me this?” You ask him. He wants something, you can feel it.

“Um, no reason, I-I just saw you h-here and I know how much you love coffee,” he stumbles over his words and you meet his gaze again, before giving him a glare.

“Hm,” you mumble.

“Listen Y/N,” he starts, sounding more clear of his words, “I know we don’t really have a relationship anymore but, I-I just wanted to apologize to you about… the bathroom… last night,” he sighs and he hangs his head down for a second.

Your expression is blank and you shrug your shoulders with a small head shake, “Don’t worry about it.”

He nods slowly before a silence falls between you two.

“Listen, um I really have to get back to studying for my midterm tomorrow. Thank you again for the coffee,” you say with a small smile, trying your best to be cordial with him.

He nods getting ready to stand up but he stops abruptly, “What are you doing this week?”

The question catches you off guard.

“Oh, um,” your mouth is dry and it’s hard to find the words, “Probably studying, working, I don’t know,” you shrug again.

“Well uh, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up?” He bits his lip nervously, “We haven’t hung out in awhile, I thought maybe we could catch up?”

Awhile would be an understatement. The boy and you exchange another glance before you begin to nod hesitantly.

“Sure,” you answer simply.

“Cool,” he responds, “You still have the same number?” He asks. The question is weird. How is it that your best friend of so many years has to ask if your number is the same?

“Yeah,” you nod. He nods too, saying a quick goodbye before you watch as his built frame disappears into another corridor of the library, your eyes lingering a little too long on his built frame. What the hell was that?

_____

On Monday, both of your exams go a lot better than you were expecting them to. Your human sciences exam had already been graded and you made a 94 which in turn meant you were over the moon. Now you could only hope for that in analytics.

You know sat across from Jennie at one of your campus’s sandwich shops eating a late lunch.

“I don’t even know why you stress so much about your grades Y/N,” Jennie says, “You always end up with an A.”

“Jennie, I worry because if I don’t get A’s I can get kicked out of the honors program, you know this,” you say with pointed eyes, “Besides, I made a B in that business statistics class I had my freshman year, I’m still pissed about that!”

“Boohoo, I got a C minus in that class,” Jennie rolls her eyes, “All I’m saying is, you just need to loosen up. I know school is stressful but I know that you have to be going crazy.”

“I am going crazy Jennie,” you whine, “I’m just glad we don’t have much longer,” you sigh heavily.

“You and me both,” she adds, “I’m sorry I interrupted your stress relief the other night,” she says.

“What?”

She laughs, “You almost got dicked down by Namjoon and I ruined it,” she pouts and you giggle at her.

“It’s fine,” you shake your head, “He said we could pick it up another time.”

“Good, his fine piece of ass is something you gotta keep,” she smirks. Suddenly, your phone makes a ding on the table and you grab it quickly. Your eyes widen slightly when you see the text message.

[3:32 PM Jeon Jungkook] hey do you still want to do something this week?

“Who is that?” Jennie asks you.

“Uh, nobody,” you shake your head putting the phone back down.

“It most definitely is not nobody—your eyes are huge,” she points out. Dammit.

“Um,” you start, “Well last week at work, Jungkook, Taehyung, and their friend Hobi came in later at night,” you tell her, “And it was awkward and then I saw Jungkook at the party on Saturday.”

“We see him all the time at the parties we go,” she shrugs.

“I know, but then he came up to me in the library the other day…and bought me a coffee,” you finish.

Jennie’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I know right,” you say.

“Wonder what he wants from you?” She purses her lips.

“He asked if he wanted to go out this week,” you shrug, “He said we haven’t in awhile and he wanted to ‘catch up’,” you say.

Jennie’s eyebrows furrow. “Hm,” she mumbles, “Well are you going to?”

“I don’t know,” you tell her honestly, “I think I’ve seen enough of him to last me awhile.”

Jennie grimaces at you, “Come on Y/N,” she says, “You and Jungkook used to be inseparable, I don’t even know what the fuck happened to you two.”

“We just grew apart Jennie,” you tell her.

“Friendships like you and Jungkook don’t just ‘grow apart’,” she uses air quotes.

“Believe what you want,” you mutter, picking at your food suddenly not feeling too hungry.

“Why wouldn’t you go? There’s nothing stopping you is there?” She presses.

“Not exactly, but… I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” you mumble.

“Y/N, he’s your oldest friend,” she says, “You’ve known him longer than anyone else here, I know that you miss him as your friend,” she goes on.

“I don’t know Jennie, we’re not the same people we used to be. We’re not compatible as friends anymore, it’s weird.”

“How can it already be weirder than it is now? It’s weird as fuck that you two grew up together and don’t speak to each other anymore. I’d say go, just hangout, who knows what might happen,” she reasons and you cannot help but agree with her.

You don’t say anything else as you pull your phone back out.

[3:38 PM Me] Yeah I’m free tonight if you want to do something!

_____

Jungkook picks you up at seven on the dot. You feel nervousness settling in your stomach and you suddenly care about your appearance. When you open the door of your apartment and welcome him in, you have to tell yourself to keep your mouth closed.

He’s dressed in a sweatshirt and ripped jeans but he looks…so good? You hope you aren’t overdressed in your dress and denim jacket and he smiles when he meets your gaze.

“Hey,” he greets you and you welcome him into your apartment—a place he has never been.

“Hi,” you say grabbing your keys from the kitchen. “Jennie!” You shout and she emerges from the laundry room

“Yeah?” She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Jungkook. “Oh, hey Jungkook.”

“Hi,” he smiles.

“I’ll be back later,” you tell her, “What are you doing tonight?”

“I have to write a report and I guess I’m going to do your laundry since you’re lazier than shit,” she presses. You throw up your middle finger and turn to Jungkook.

“You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

_____

“Where are we going?” You ask him as you make your way outside, keeping a relative distance between you and him.

“You hungry?” Jungkook proposes, almost with a playful tone.

“Mhm,” you mumble, looking down at the ground as you walk. This was weird… so fucking weird. The last time you and Jungkook had hung out was around two and a half years ago—not even shitting. You wonder if he still liked the same things, had the same hobbies, ate the same food, but you were completely unsure of yourself in this circumstance. The nervousness hasn’t settled in your stomach and your mind wonders if he’s nervous too.

“Alright, c’mon,” he says and you meet his gaze before he changes direction with you in tow.

It’s not even a five minute walk—mind you, in silence—until we reach the place Jungkook had led you to.

“Really Jungkook?” You raise an eyebrow at him as you step into your all too familiar work place.

“What?” He laughs, “The food is good,” he continues.

“I’m starting to think you brought me here for my employee discount,” you press to him and he tilts his head.

“You have an employee discount?” He repeats, “Good to know,” he chuckles and in turn, you return a small laugh, feeling a little more comfortable.

Mark isn’t working tonight, but unfortunately, a girl named Kyla is and you absolutely despise her. Her biggest personality trait is just being a bitch—a bitch for no reason! Sure, you can have your bitchy moments but you’re not going to be a bitch to someone unless they deserve it.

“Y/N… Jungkook,” Kyla says slowly, looking between the two of you. “Just sit wherever you like,” she says. The restaurant is free real estate as you two are the only ones here.

You choose a booth, sliding in on one side, Jungkook on the other.

“Do you know her?” You ask Jungkook once she walks away from your table.

Jungkook looks pale, “I’ve met her, once or twice,” he says and it’s all the confirmation you need to understand that means he’s fucked her once or twice.

You don’t say anything else as you look through the menu, already knowing exactly what you want.

“When did you start working here?” Jungkook asks you.

“Oh, about a month ago,” you say. He already knows that. I guess you and Jungkook are really too that point, huh? Small, dull, repetitive conversation?

“How did your exams go?” He asks, chewing on his bottom lip. He’s nervous—you can sense it.

“Better than I thought,” you answer honestly.

“Hm, let me guess—you thought you did terrible but ended up getting an A,” he reads you perfectly.

“Hey! I don’t think like that,” you say even thought you know that is a fat lie.

“Come on Y/N, you’ve been that way since we were fourteen. Lying sends you to hell you know,” he raises an eyebrow at you and you look away from him to suppress your laugh.

“Fine. I got a 94 on one of them, I don’t know about the other one yet,” you tell him.

“See, you’re a genius,” he says and you shake your head.

“Most definitely not,” you say.

“I was always so envious of you growing up, you just sat there in school and you just… got it,” he says remembering back to your younger days, “All of us were jealous of you,” he adds.

“I can guarantee nobody was jealous of me Jungkook,” you give him a grimace, “We all were stupid in our own ways, maybe you more than anyone else,” you decide to pick on him since you’re feeling more relaxed as the conversation keeps going.

“Hey, no need to shit on me like that,” he gives you a pout.

Your phone suddenly vibrates against the table. It’s probably Jennie, you think to yourself as you flip the phone over. To your surprise, it’s not Jennie—It’s Namjoon.

[7:28 PM Kim Namjoon] hope you had a good day

[7:29 PM Kim Namjoon] mine would be a lot better if you were sitting on my cock right now

Your eyes widen and you flip the phone back over with a slam to the table. Jungkook looks at you curiously.

“Whose that?” He asks.

You want to lie, but Jungkook can tell when you’re lying. “Just Namjoon,” you tell him, “He was asking about some homework.”

Jungkook nods slowly before chewing on his bottom lip again, “You and hyung are good friends?”

Your face drops and you don’t say anything.

“I’m just asking since I’ve seen you guys together at our parties,” he adds while clearing his throat.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” is all that comes from your mouth. Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read but you can tell he knows you’re not saying what you’re actually thinking. What he wants you to do is be honest with him and tell him that yeah, you and Namjoon fuck from time to time, but of course, he doesn’t get that answer.

About twenty minutes later, Kyla is bringing your food.Your stomach growls as the scent of the food comes into your nostrils. The two of you begin eating, keeping some small talk between the two of you.

“Are you still a business major?” You ask him as you chow down on your French fries loaded with ketchup.

Jungkook scrunches his face up, “Hell no,” he shakes his head.

You stop your chewing momentarily, “Oh,” is all you can muster. “I’m sure that went over well with your father.”

Jungkook gives you a short glance, a smirk across his face, “It went as well as you can imagine.”

Growing up, Jungkook was expected to go to college, get a business degree of some kind and him and his older brother were to takeover his father’s company by the time he was 30—you would know, Jungkook would secretly complain to you about nonstop as teenagers.

“What are majoring in now?”

“Photography and film,” he answers boldly.

“Oh, wow,” you tell him, “That’s a big move.”

“I’d rather die than being forced to do something I don’t want to do, that’s no way to live life,” he munches on his burger, his eyes looking straight into yours.

“How’s Taehyung?” You ask him.

“He’s good,” he laughs a little bit, “Would you believe it if I told you he has a girlfriend?” He cocks his head slightly.

“Taehyung? And a girlfriend?” You say in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he chuckles, “It’s weird though, he won’t introduce me to her, hell he won’t even tell me her name.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “That is weird,” you pause, “Maybe he thinks you’ll steal her,” you smirk jokingly. 

Jungkook shakes his head, “Taehyung’s got more game than I do, trust me,” he says with a laugh. 

“I’m assuming you don’t have a girlfriend?” You ask him nervously, biting down on your bottom lip.

Jungkook stops eating and rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek, “No, I haven’t dated anyone since Yuna really.”

The confession surprises you and you somewhat don’t believe him.

“Why not?” You press.

He shrugs, “Just haven’t found anyone I like I guess, like, really like, you know?”

You nod understandingly. Before Namjoon (whom you aren’t even dating) you had dated this guy for awhile and he was nice but you were bored as fuck in that relationship. Thankfully, you moved on from that onto better things.

Once the two of you finish your meals, Jungkook pays before you can protest and you leave the restaurant around 8:30 PM. You shove your hands into your jacket and walk along beside of Jungkook, lazily kicking rocks when you come across them.

“So, what did I do to deserve a free meal and a coffee from Jeon Jungkook in the span of two days?” You look up at him and he glances down to you quickly.

“I said I wanted to catch up, how else was I supposed to do that?” He smirks and you hit his arm playfully.

You don’t say anything so he continues.

“I don’t know, it’s just when I saw you last week working, I hadn’t seen you in so long… let alone speak to you,” he pauses, “It made me realize that I miss our friendship, I missed us…” he trails off, looking straight ahead.

“Why didn’t you reach out sooner?” You ask him seriously.

Jungkook hesitates some, “You could have reached out too, the phone works both ways” his words are unexpected, harsh. And they somewhat hurt.

You don’t say anything again, feeling a sting in your chest.

“I didn’t mean it like that Y/N,” Jungkook say, stopping his path to stand in front of you, “It’s just… we haven’t spoken in so long. I feel like you’re a completely different person ever since we got here to university. I don’t know what happened—“

“You don’t know what happened?” Your tone is sharp. “Are you stupid Jungkook?”

He looks taken aback, “W-what?”

“When we were eighteen and you fucking kissed me that’s what happened and that’s when shit changed Jungkook, don’t act like you don’t know,” you sound angry to which, you are. Talking about this gets you riled up.

Jungkook lowers his head, “We should have talked about that, I know but—“

“But what Jungkook? It ruined our friendship and you know it.”

“I ruined it?” He now sounds pissed off. “What ruined our friendship was you acting like I didn’t exist once we got here to college. You blew me off and blew me off time and time again,” he runs a hand through his hair, “I tried to maintain this friendship and you know it. If that stupid, fucking, drunken kiss bothered you that bad, you should have been a big girl and told me.”

You feel frustrated and you feel tears are threatening to spill out of you. You want to comeback with something, but you know he’s right. He did try and you were the one to put distance between you both.

“I-I,” you start but no words come out. “I’m sorry Jungkook. It’s just when we got here, things got more complicated and more stressful, and I couldn’t afford distractions—“

“So I’m a distraction now?”

“What? No, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” you shake your head in protest.

“So, hanging out at fraternity houses every weekend, getting hammered with Jennie every weekend, smoking pot once in awhile, and fucking Namjoon isn’t a distraction? But your best friend of fourteen years is a distraction?” Jungkook’s words come out in a frenzy and you feel slightly attacked.

“Excuse me what? Jungkook no—“ you stop yourself from speaking. You know he’s right but that doesn’t give him a right to attack you like that. “So, what’s your excuse then for not being the bigger person than, huh? Getting sucked off too many times in a bathroom and you realized you don’t need my attention anymore? Huh?”

Jungkook’s eyes darken and you can tell he’s pissed off.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asks you.

“Jungkook, you’re my oldest friend—“

“You don’t treat me like it—“

“Well neither do you,” you back go back and forth with each other. You’re frustrated. Angry. Sad.

Jungkook is fighting a battle in his head. “I’m sorry okay,” he says, “I think we both can admit we’ve acted shitty to each other.”

You look away from him staring aimlessly at your lap, “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Neither should have I,” he says. “I just wish you had told me about that stupid kiss, we could have talked through it Y/N. I wasn’t thinking back then.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

Jungkook’s eyes look panicked and he scratches the back of his neck.

“I had a stupid little crush on you at the time okay? And alcohol doesn’t help, it only intensified my feelings.”

“What?” Your mouth drops agape at the confession.

“I know, stupid right,” he shakes his head, “Fuck I wished we had discussed this sooner because this is so embarrassing,” he laughs while shaking his head.

You’re in disbelief. Jungkook liked you? How did you not know? It makes your insides tingle at the thought, but you know you shouldn’t get excited so you drown out the feeling deep within you. 

“Well, that was years ago,” you tell him, “All we can do now is look ahead,” your breath is uneven and shaky.

“You’re right,” he mutters, “I really am sorry Y/N, I-I just want you as a friend again—“

“I forgive you Jungkook. And I’m sorry too.”

What Jungkook does next is unexpected but all too familiar. He grabs your chin and squeezes it in his hand. You swat him away with a laugh as he pulls you in by an arm. You oblige his movements and rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you keep walking. There’s something oddly intimate about this gesture. And the whole atmosphere has changed but you like it—it feels… like home.

“Can I ask you something?” You mumble.

“You just did,” he laughs and his chest rumbles underneath you.

“Shut the fuck up,” you lean up from him with a smile, “Namjoon said you talk about me a lot…?” You trail off your question. You could be sneaky if you really wanted to be.

“He did?” Jungkook panics. Fucking Namjoon, he thinks to himself. “W-what did he say?” He stumbles on his words.

“Just stuff,” you respond hesitantly, “He may or may not have said that you called me hot.” Jungkook freezes beside of you.

“Fucking hell, I’m gonna kill hyung,” he mutters underneath his breath, “Look I’m sorry okay—I was really drunk and I saw you at one of our parties in this short ass dress and fuck, yeah I said you were hot—I’m sorry okay? I know that’s so fucking weird jeez, I’m sorry—“

“Jungkook it’s fine,” you laugh interrupting his rambling. “It’s not weird, I just wanted to know whether or not Namjoon was feeding me shit.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” He asks and you can sense that he is very embarrassed. “I told you, I’m not good with my alcohol.”

You shake your head, “I mean, you’re pretty hot too if I say so myself,” the words tumble from your mouth and you actually want to crawl in a hole and die. Did you just say that?! Jungkook looks at you as you turn your face away from him. Fuck, he thinks to himself. He glances down your body and notices the cleavage coming through your dress and the way you hair is pulled to one side. Fuck, he thinks again, yeah, stupid little crush three years ago my ass.

“Can I tell you something?” His voice his quiet, serious.

“Of course,” you look up at him with a concern face.

“You can’t tell anyone—not even Jennie,” he says, his voice low. You give him a confused look, but nod anyways.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him. He bits at his lip, feeling uneasy.

He takes in a deep breath before exhaling, “When I changed my major a few months back, my parents threatened to cut me off—“

“Whoa, what?”

“And they’re still threatening to if I don’t get my shit straight.”

“Jungkook, I don’t get what you’re saying? Have you done something?” You ask him, feeling already too uneasy about where this conversation is going.

“No, I haven’t done anything—that’s the problem. I haven’t proved to them that I’m worthy for them to keep paying for my school. I haven’t proved to them that I can get a job somewhere. My grades aren’t proving anything to them.”

“What are you gonna do if they cut you off? You can’t pay for this shit-hole by yourself—they know that.” You notice the way his jaw is grinding and his breathing is shaking.

“Please don’t get mad at me,” he mumbles quietly. Oh god. “Recently I started taking up, um… boxing,” he says, unsure of his words.

“…Okay?” You say slowly.

“I’ve been fighting, like underground fighting,” you almost don’t hear him, but then you do, and you want to laugh in his face—but he’s being serious.

“Fighting? Jungkook what the fuck?!” You push yourself away from the comfort of his side, “Are you crazy?!”

“I’m getting paid for the fights—if I win at least,” he tries to sound reasonable but to you, you want to scream at him in anger.

“Jungkook, are you fucking kidding me? You’re fighting? Instead of finding a real job?”

“Y/N you don’t understand—I make thousands of dollars for one fight—it’s my best chance right now.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you shake your head, pulling your hands through your hair in frustration, you cannot believe this man right now.

“What are you going to do about school then? Huh?” You press him.

“I-I was hoping you would help me, at least try to tutor me,” he says hesitantly and your stomach drops. You don’t say anything for a moment, unsure if you want to scream or cry at him.

“So this is the reason why you wanted to rekindle our friendship, so I could be your fucking tutor?”

“What no—“

“Are you fucking kidding me Jungkook? I cannot believe you right now,” your voice is getting louder by the minute. You start to walk away from him back to your apartment by yourself, unable to even look at him right now.

“Wait—no, please Y/N,” Jungkook runs to you, grabbing your hand and pulls you back to him, “I know this is all bad timing but I really did miss having you as a friend and you’re the only person, I could tell this to, at least for now,” he quickly explains.

“What, so you want me to help you through school while you get the shit knocked out of you for money?” You ask him, “Jungkook I don’t want to see you go through that, you have to find another option,” your eyes are pleading with him. His grip moves from your hand to your waist which causes your heart to race irregularly.

“Y/N, please I know it’s not the best but it really is my best option. I need someone there for me and I need that person to be you,” his face is too close for comfort and you back away from him a few inches.

“Jungkook, I don’t know,” you shake your head.

“Please, Y/N, I’m begging you,” he says again.

“Have you told anyone?” You ask him.

“Aside from you, only Taehyung knows—and Yoongi, he was the one to introduce me to it.” Yoongi—a name you’re not familiar with.

“Fucking hell Jungkook,” you lean your head back, trying to contain your emotions.

“Please you can’t tell anyone Y/N, I can get in serious trouble by obtaining money this way.”

“Yeah because it’s fucking illegal,” you spit at him. You find his hand to grip a little too tightly and you want to scream at Jungkook. How could he be so stupid? And how were you going to let him be so stupid?

“I’ll help you with school Jungkook, but the fighting… I don’t know,” you tell him, “You know I’m not going to be okay with that.”

“If you makes you feel any better, I haven’t lost. The most I’ve walked away with is a few scraps and bruises on my arms,” he tries to lighten up your mood but it doesn’t work. “I promise I won’t get hurt, I know what I’m doing,” he nudges you trying to loosen you up some. He hands end up grabbing yours, intertwining them tightly.

“Don’t make me promises you can’t keep Jungkook,” you tell him and his face falls again. Both of you look at your intertwined hands. “At least promise me you’ll be careful,” you plead him.

“Of course. I promise,” he says giving your hand a squeeze. Without warning, he pulls you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly. Your hands snake up against his neck and pull him close to you as well.

His scent is all too familiar and it scares you that you’ve missed out on him growing into the handsome adult he is now. And now, you have to fear for his wellbeing. Fuck. Jungkook pulls away from you and your faces meet a little too close for comfort. His nose brushes against yours, his eyes burning holes into you.

“I’d trust you with my life Y/N,” he speaks again, “And I’m trusting you with this.”

Your breath hitches as his nose brushes yours again. Fuck, you think to yourself. You bite your lip, knowing that you wold absolutely die for this boy and it takes all of you to grip his shirt and push him away from you. You feel less suffocated once your space is empty and Jungkook’s hand stays in yours as he walks you home. It’s a good thing, you think, that you’ve had a stupid little crush on him too or you would most definitely not do this shit for him.

_____

“So,” Jennie says slowly, “How was it?”

You hadn’t even walked into your apartment five feet before Jennie is rushing questions onto you.

“Um,” you pause, taking the time to take off your shoes, “It went... well,” you say, unsure of your words. Did it go well? You weren’t sure considering the two of you were in an argument nearly the whole way home.

“Well?” Jennie asks, curiosity dripping in her tone, “I need more details than that. What’d you do? What did you guys talk about?”

“Um, we just kind of caught up on things,” you knew you had to tread your words lightly. “It felt pretty normal.” You add at the last second, giving her a weak smile. She narrows her eyes at you.

“That’s it?” She somewhat frowned.

“What did you want me to say?” You give her a laugh as you begin to walk back towards your room and undress into your sleepwear. She follows your footsteps closely.

“I don’t know! I was just expecting more, more from you! You seem awfully quiet,” she says plopping down on your bed that she is oh-so accustomed to.

You look through your drawers and pull out a big t-shirt and slip it over your head. You turn to Jennie and give her another pathetic attempt of a smile.

“It’s just weird okay,” you tell her, climbing onto your bed with her, “This was the first time we’ve actually hung out by ourselves in years and I don’t know, it was good, like we picked up where we left off you know?” You knew that was a complete lie but you needed to get Jennie off your case or you were afraid you would let your worries slip.

She lets out a sigh, “I guess so. I do think about high school sometimes and we really had it good… the four of us,” she smiles fondly thinking back to simpler times.

“Yeah… we did,” you agree staring up at your ceiling.

“How’s Taehyung by the way? Did Jungkook mention him?”

You give a glance at Jennie and she’s looking at her overgrown nails. “He’s good, Jungkook said he had a girlfriend which surprised me.”

“Hm,” Jennie shrugged, “Interesting.”

You furrowed your eyebrows while looking at her. “Interesting?” You found her answer odd but she brushes it off.

“Yeah, well I have homework to do that isn’t gonna do itself unfortunately,” she stands up from your bed, “See you in the morning, goodnight.” She throws you a quick wink before she leaves, shutting your bedroom door behind of her.

You let out a sigh of relief when she leaves. As happy as you were that you and Jungkook reconnected some tonight, the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach was keeping you from focusing on the good. You couldn’t believe what Jungkook had gotten himself into. Boxing? For money? You knew Jungkook never had much common sense but this takes it to another level. You now knew one of his deepest secrets and not only could that seriously backfire on you if something went wrong. He said he trusted you with his fucking life for Christ’s sake. Who says that to someone they’ve barely spoken to in two years? Someone who is desperate, you think.

You grab a book from your nightstand for one of your classes and flip to your last read page, trying to rid your mind of Jungkook getting the shit beat out of him. And as much as you read your book and your eyelids fall sleepy, you manage to barely sleep that night, as images of your old friend are burned into your brain.

_____

It wasn’t long after your first meetup with Jungkook that he started asking for tutoring help. Jungkook knew your schedule was busy and he didn’t want to pressure you into anything, but the more you were around Jungkook, the more desperate you were to help him. You have known him for so long and despite all your differences, he truly was and will always be one of your best friends. And best friends helped each other. Right?

“Hey—sorry I’m late,” you meet Jungkook in the back of the fourth floor of the library after your last class of the day. “I had a question about my lecture—“

“Y/N it’s fine,” Jungkook says softly, not looking up from his paper, “Don’t worry about it.”

You set down beside of him and begin to take your belongings out of your backpack and you notice Jungkook has already begun some work himself.

“How was classes today?” You ask him opening up your laptop. You give him a glance and he’s focused on the problem in front of him.

“It was alright, I slept through my first one at ten—“

“What’s that?” You ask as you let your eyes focus a little too close on his face. A cut lined across his jaw and up towards his left ear and you felt yourself begin to panic.  “Jungkook what—“

“Don’t worry about it,” he’s being cold and distant and you don’t like it. You look down his arms and onto his hands and notice some cuts and bruises there too. That’s when it hits you.

“Jungkook did you have a fight recently?” You keep your voice low so no one else could hear. He visibly tenses up beside of you and he adjusts his beanie on his to try and cover his ear area.

“Yeah,” he says simply, his eyes not looking at you one time, still focusing on the paper ahead.

“Jungkook,” your tone is deep and not happy, but you suppose there isn’t much you can do in this situation. Curiosity got the best of you and you ask, “What happened?”

“Let’s not talk about that okay?” He turns to you fully and you inwardly gasp, seeing that his right eye is half blacked behind his glasses. You feel sick to your stomach and your mouth parts. Again, you don’t say anything and just give him a nod.

The rest of the tutoring session with him goes smoothly and Jungkook has significantly picked up his understanding of his classes in a short amount of time, but in the back of your mind you wanted to scream. Scream at him. How could he be doing this to himself? He first told you he was fine. He sure doesn’t look fine. It’s getting close to 7 o’clock when you tell him you have to go get ready for your shift at the diner in an hour.

“We can pick up again whenever you need to,” you tell, “And text me if you have any questions.”

“What are you doing this weekend?” Jungkook completely ignores your sentences and you turn to him, trying not to stare at the faint of blue under his eye.

“Um, I have another shift tomorrow that starts at 7,” you tell him.

“Can you get off?” He asks almost nervously as the two of you begin to leave the library.

You chuckle, “Probably not, why?”

“Well, Taehyung and I are having a small get together at our apartment and I wanted to know if you and Jennie wanted to come?”

He sounds genuine and you know it could be fun and a little different from the chaotic frat scene that you’re used to.

“Sure, I’m sure Jennie will be down,” you give him a smile to which he returns one for the first time tonight. “If I can’t get off work I’ll just come after my shift.”

“Sounds good,” he says and you are about to part ways before he grabs your arm to stop you, “Thanks again Y/N, for helping me out,” there’s a glimmer in his eyes.

“No problem, it’s what a friend would do right?” You give him your best smile although it feels weird saying that. His face drops in the slightest way.

“Yeah…” he trails off, his hand trailing down your arm before letting go, “See you soon?”

You give him a nod, “See you soon.”

_____

Your shift at the diner tonight was being particularly slow for a Tuesday and you found yourself aimlessly making lattes for yourself every thirty minutes. You were slightly jacked from the caffeine but you knew you would need it once you went home to finish off the load of your homework for the night. Bedtime as of right now was looking to be 3 AM, possibly 4. Mark is once again working with you tonight which makes it all the more bearable, but the more you stand behind the counter, sipping your coffee, the more you realize you do not want to waste tomorrow night working.

“Hey, Mark,” you say and he looks up from his book.

“What’s up?” He asks, his eyes focussing on you.

“Would you care…. to possibly… take my shifts this weekend?” You ask slowly, dancing around the topic. His eyebrows furrow and you could tell that is not what he wanted to hear from you.

“I mean… I don’t care to, but can I ask why?”

Shit. You couldn’t say it was to go to a small party. That would be an automatic no.

“Well, I’ve been tutoring someone recently and it's taken away from my own study time, so I really need all weekend to catch up on all my shit,” you say smoothly. Not a complete lie, but he didn’t need to know you would be catching up on your “shit” tonight and not this weekend.

“Yeah, sure whatever,” he waves his hand off, “Just be sure to tell our manager before you leave.”

“Right… thanks Mark.”

“That means you owe me a shift in the future,” he says pointedly.

“Yeah, yeah, read your fucking book.”

_____

Friday was a blur. You went to sleep around 3:45 AM. Had to wake up at 7 AM for your 8 AM lecture, dragged your feet to your other classes, barely had time to eat anything, only consuming coffee to suppress your appetite in the afternoon, and now that you were home you couldn’t wait to lay in your bed for a few hours.

Jennie didn’t have classes on Friday’s—fuck her—so she had been chilling all day when you burst through the door exhausted.

“You look horrible,” she said as soon as you flopped down on the couch beside of her.

“You don’t have to tell me that,” you groan covering your eyes.

“Well you better get rested up before tonight,” she says.

“What’s tonight?” You mumble, nearly drifting off to sleep right then and there.

“Jungkook invited us to his apartment, that’s what you said last night,” she gave you a funny look before shaking her head.

Shit. You had forgotten about that throughout your drowsy state all day.

“Yeah, right,” you pause, looking at her through the crack of your arm, “Wake me up at 7 to get ready.” You stand up planning on taking the fattest nap of your life.

“I-I captain!” Jennie says sarcastically and it’s the last thing you hear before passing out on your bed, not even bothering to put a blanket over you.

_____

Jungkook and Taehyung’s apartment isn’t far from yours. You wouldn’t say the exterior is nicer than yours, but the abundance of buildings shows that their community is much larger than the one you and Jennie share.

“This is right?” Jennie asks as you knock on the door heavily.

“Yeah,” you say, faintly hearing music from the other side of the door.

The door swings open and to your surprise, it’s Taehyung.

“Jennie, Y/N!” He smiles widely at the two of you before ushering you in. “It’s been wayyyy too long! You guys want a drink?”

You take a second to look around their apartment, not seeing Jungkook anywhere. There’s about two dozen people here, some playing pong, others sitting around the living area. You knew Taehyung was feeling a little drunk despite it being only 9 from the way he grabs a couple cups, the entire tower of them falling over.

“How have you guys been?!” Taehyung pours some cheap tequila into your red solo cups and hands them over.

“Good, what about you?” Jennie smiles to him and Taehyung pours another shot for himself.

“Fucking great,” he says before putting his cup out. The three of you bump cups and down the tequila, a familiar burn hitting you instantly. It’s oddly reminiscent, the three of you drinking alcohol like there are no problems with the world.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, giving another glance around the apartment, only recognizing some of his frat brothers, but him still not to be found.

“He went to get more alcohol and some other things,” Taehyung says, pouring another shot for the two of you. “I heard the two of you finally got over your bullshit?”

You furrow your eyebrows and Jennie laughs. “W-what?” You have to laugh too, “Bullshit?”

“You know, how the two of you acted like neither of you existed? God it was so annoying hearing that little bitch talk about you constantly,” he rolls his eyes dramatically and Jennie eyes you suspiciously.

“Uh, yeah—“ you were unsure of what to say, “Heard you have a girlfriend now?” You change the subject quickly and Jennie raises her eyebrows at Taehyung.

“Really?” Jennie says almost passively. Taehyung doesn’t glance at you, only looking to Jennie.

“Yeah,” he says, “C’mon, drink your shit. The night is young and you guys need to catch up!”

“Or you need to slow down?” You offer and only giggles again. You down another shot and at this pace, you’ll be passed out by 11, Jennie by 10. You’ve always handle your alcohol better than her, but a shot every two minutes will do anyone in.

The three of you talk aimlessly, somewhat of an unresolved tension between Jennie and Taehyung that is impossible to avoid until you get some more alcohol in you. You’re about four shots of Jose Cuervo in and sipping on some type of seltzer when your phone buzzes in your hand.

[9:46 PM Namjoon] hey, wrud tonight

[9:46 PM You] at a friend’s place tonight, wbu

Your eyes are having trouble to focus as the alcohol begins to settle in your system. You remember vividly how you barely had any food today and you know you should stop drinking otherwise you might puke everywhere.

[9:48 PM Namjoon] damn, missing you. I believe you still owe me a rain check

You laugh at your phone.

[9:48 PM You] soon, I promise lol

“Jungkook! Fuck yes my brother!”

You instantly look up from your phone and see Jungkook walking through the front door, a case of beer in one hand and a brown bag in the other. He smiles as he sets down the case and bag of liquor as his brothers crowd around him to grab a can.

Do you go up to him? Yes, are you, stupid? But shouldn’t he look for you? What are you twelve?

Your internal monologue is interrupted when Taehyung pulls you over to Jungkook with a small push.  

“Hey Y/N,” Jungkook smiles, grabbing a beer for himself. He’s wearing a hat to cover his forehead.

“Hi,” you smile and he gives you a small, somewhat awkward hug.

“Glad you could make it,” he says, the bruises on his face from the other day already looking a lot better.

“I was not going to spend my Friday night at the restaurant,” you laugh, trying intensely to focus on his face and not zone in and out as you tend to do drunkenly.

“Jennie here?” He asks.

“Yeah, she’s uh,” you pause, actually not knowing where she went. “Oh, she’s playing pong with Taehyung.”

“Come on then,” he reaches out his hand, “Let’s play with them.”

“Jungkook I’m terrible, you know that—“

“I never said you were good, but for old times sake?” His brown eyes bore into yours and you give in, nodding your head and settling your hand into his. His hands are warm—always have been. Slightly rough and calloused but smooth—what the fuck, stop it!

The four of you, girls verses boys, start a new game of pong and you’re sure Jennie is just as bad as you. That’s evident when Jungkook and Taehyung lob four in, one after another. You’re lucky you get one in their cups. Jennie, too drunk at this point, can’t even throw straight. The whole sight is very funny as the four of you laugh like you’re the only ones in the room.

“Come on Y/N!” Taehyung yells, “I knew you were ass but really?!”

“Me! What about her!” You defend yourself as Jennie throws a ball at Jungkook’s head.

“At least Y/N can aim!” Jungkook laughs, defending you as well, rubbing his head from the plastic impact.

The game ends with Jungkook calling island and you don’t even care at this point. Pong was and never will be your favorite. Flip cup was your speciality and even Taehyung knew that. You find yourself sitting with Jungkook on their couch, legs tucked underneath you, watching at Taehyung and Jennie take on another round of pong with Jackson—a fraternity brother—and his long time girlfriend—Mina, maybe?

“Are you even drunk right now?” You deadpan Jungkook with your eyes and he gives you a small smile.

“Nah,” he says, “You are though,” he says pointedly drinking from his beer.

“Hey—“ you point, “Only a little,” you whisper close to his ear and he laughs at you again. “You sir, need to drink.”

Jungkook shakes his head before standing up, your eyes following up his jeans to his t-shirt clad chest. Has he always looked like this? You grab onto his extended hand and he leads you away from everyone and your heart rate quickens. Where are you going? What’s he doing?

To your relief, he takes to the small outside balcony, sliding the door nearly closed as you step out. There’s two other people out here smoking cigarettes that greet you and Jungkook curiously. You have seen these boys before, but you know they don’t recognize you. They obviously think you’re some random girl Jungkook has invited but—if they only knew.

The fresh air feels nice, but you can feel a chill running down your spine and you watch Jungkook’s frame go to a dark corner of the balcony, bending down to pick something off the ground.

“What are you doing?” You ask him and he turns back to you and you send some interesting paraphernalia in his hands.

“Not in a drinking mood tonight,” he says, his eyes leaving yours before focusing on the small glass bowl in his hands. He starts to pack it and you’re watching his every move closely. You never knew Jungkook to be a stoner, but the way he packs it quickly and begins to light it, tells you otherwise. He inhales through the end of the bowl deeply, exhaling once, before quickly taking another hit.

“Goddamn,” you laugh and he starts to cough a little bit, a small laugh coming from him.

Jungkook begins to walk back to the corner before you grab his shirt to pull him back.

“You heard of sharing is caring?” You say and he shakes his head.

“No, you’re drunk, you don’t need—“

“I want too,” you say. You hadn’t smoked in awhile, but you knew you could trust Jungkook. “Come on, I’m fine.”

Jungkook hesitates a little before he holds out the bowl. You take it and hold is securely between your lips. He lights the underside and you inhale deeply. The balcony begins to smell like weed, but it doesn’t bother you, it never has. You exhale and give him a small smile. He puts the illegal substances away and stands beside of you on the balcony.

“Alright, that will be five dollars,” he says and you turn to him, your mouth agape.

“Five dollars a hit? Kiss my ass,” you say and you suddenly begin to feel the effects of the marijuana, which makes you giggle a little too long.

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks you and you nearly feel like you could fall asleep.

“Exhausting,” you mumble, “I got like four hours of sleep last night and one of my professors had the audacity to tell me that my answer was wrong on my homework when literally five other people had the same answer and got it right. And then I had coffee as my meals and had a busting headache until I took the longest nap of my fucking life—“

“Slow down,” Jungkook interjects with a laugh, “Too much information that I’m not processing right now.”

You let out an “ugh” before saying, “I’ve had better days for sure.” You leave it at that. “What about you?”

He smiles before turning to you completely, “I’ve had better days, better weeks for sure.” He almost sounds annoyed now, like something is deeply bothering him.

You let a pause presume between the two of you, unsure of what to say. You know you shouldn’t bring it up, but you can’t help it. The bruises on his face, the cuts on his hands—you needed to know what happened to him. Despite your intoxicated state, you could form sentences and think pretty clearly and you weren’t letting Jungkook out of your sight without explaining himself.

“Jungkook,” you say in a whisper, looking around to see if the other guys had left. They had. “Are you gonna tell me what happened to your face?”

He looks down, almost embarrassed. “There was a fight on Tuesday,” he stops when you furrow your eyebrows at him.

“Tuesday?!” You half whisper, “What the hell are you doing fighting on a Tuesday? Jungkook you said—“

“It wasn’t an official fight Y/N,” he interrupts you, “I was fucking jumped with one of my friends,” he says and your eyes widen. You feel your head spinning and your mouth goes dry. From the weed, alcohol, or the conversation? You’re not sure.

“What?” You ask, worry filling your tone, “Jungkook what the fuck! You said you had this under control.”

“Keep your voice down!” He scolds, “I do have it under control, although you can’t really control when you get jumped.”

“W-why? Who would want—“

“His name is Eric. I beat him at the last real fight and I guess he’s a sore fucking loser. He wants a rematch and everything, said he was injured before the fight, so he sent some pussies to jump my friend Jimin and I.”

The information being taken in wasn’t something you wanted to hear. Was this stupid underground boxing that serious? And how stupid could Jungkook be to continue to do this?

“Well you’re not gonna fight him again,” you pause. He doesn’t look at you. “Are you?”

“There’s a lot of money on the line,” he says.

“Jungkook you’ve got to be joking.”

“I’m not Y/N,” he turns to you again, his body now closer than before. His knuckles gripping the railing are pale and cracked. “If I win this fight, I won’t need anymore money before the end of the year. Hell, I’ll probably even have some left over.”

“Okay? And?”

“Then I can be done with fighting,” he sounds genuine but insincere  at the same time. This greatly improves your posture and you feel your heartbeat calming down.

“B-but I figured you would need more money? Your parents Jungkook?” You stumble over some of your words.

“Y/N you don’t understand the money within these things, it’s insane. Trust me, I’ll be set with money for awhile. I just have to win that fight…”

You want to protest him. Tell him he shouldn’t do it, that he should find a normal job, get away from that stuff—but you stay silent. Jungkook always will be as stubborn as you and he seems to have made up his mind about this fighting stuff awhile ago. At the end of the day, whatever happens to him, isn’t necessarily your business.

“You know I’ll never agree with this,” you shake your head, looking down at Jungkook’s hands. They’ve relaxed against the railing and time has slowed down significantly. Every blink of your eyes seem to last 5 seconds and Jungkook could say the same thing.

“I know,” Jungkook steps towards you, overlapping one of his hands with yours, “But like I said, I trust you and you should trust me,” he almost sounds desperate. “Look at me,” he whispers and you slowly turn your head up. Your noses are nearly touching and you can smell him, your vision clouding in the dark.

“Do you trust me?” He asks quietly, licking his lips and you swallow, trying to find your breath.

You nod your head slowly, “Yes.”

You don’t know who leans in first, but when your lips meet, it’s like a siren goes off. The scene feels all too familiar. His lips are soft and they feel just like you remember. He’s gentle with you, his left hand holding your waist to pull you towards him, your bodies flush together. One of your hands finds their way to his hair and you pull him down closer to you. This feels good, really good—but isn’t this wrong? You two have just rekindled your relationship and you two didn’t even last four weeks before you two are snogging—the very reason your friendship became weird in the first place all those years ago.

You try to pull away, “Jungkook—“ he closes the gap once again and it’s like a drug—touch is like heroin in your veins. Both of you are hungry—hungry for each other. You’re not sure when, but you find yourself backed into the wall of the dark-side of the balcony. The door isn’t in view so anyone inside couldn’t see what was going on right now thank god.

“Y/N,” the groan sends your body into overdrive and he begins to trail his lips down your neck and you’ve pulled him so close to you there is barely room to breathe. It’s gotta be the alcohol—or the weed—or just Jungkook—but you’ve never wanted anyone more in your life. You squeeze your thighs together to find some unrelieved friction and Jungkook senses what you’re doing. He stops you, forcing is own leg between your crotch and you subtly moan.

“Fuck, shh,” Jungkook scolds and it makes you laugh as you check if anyone is coming to the door.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and he closes the gap between you again, covering your mouth gently and you genuinely feel butterflies in your stomach. Jungkook’s hand trails from your waist down to the front of you jeans and you pull away suddenly, “Jungkook w-what are you doing?!”

“Do you want me to do this?” He sounds mischievous as he pops open the button to your pants and you can safely say you never thought you would be in this situation with Jeon Jungkook of all people, but you are not about to stop him.

You kiss him this time, pulling on his hair, eliciting another delicious groan from him. His hand makes it way to your center and you shiver in the cold, his hands warm against your underwear. He rubs you through the material, once, twice, three times before he moves aside the fabric—the wetness covering his fingers instantly. You look towards the door again nervous that someone might walk out here and see the two of you compromised—you would die. Especially if it was Taehyung or Jennie.

“Quiet, alright?” Jungkook whispers and you nod biting your lip as he enters a finger into you. You close your eyes, mouth falling open. Your breathing picks up as he enters a second digit. His fingers are long and calloused as you noticed before but it feels so good. He brings one of your legs around his waist so he can get deeper into your center and a small, squeaky moan escapes from your mouth. Jungkook shuts you up by kissing you again and he begins to move his fingers in and out, curling them in all the right places, sending you into a silent mess.

You and Jungkook shouldn’t be doing this—not here, not right now, not ever. But you’re not doing anything to stop it. Neither is he. Is this suppose to be happening then? No—definitely yes. Wait, what? Your brain is so foggy you can’t even think straight.

Jungkook has added a third finger and it’s becoming harder and harder to stay quiet. Jungkook’s face in the crook of your neck, your neck in his—it’s all a little too intimate but it’s hot and heavy and it feels so good. Jungkook begins to use his thumb to find your clit, which he does with no problem—rubbing there and still moving in and out of you. Goddamn, he knows what he is doing.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna—“

“Shh,” he says, “Bite me, anywhere,” he says and you do as he says, your teeth clamping down onto his shoulder as you feel yourself falling off the edge. Your orgasm comes in a huge wave and it’s one of the best you’ve had in a long time—your body is shaking and you whimper into his shoulder, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Jungkook lets you finish before he pulls his hand out of your pants, letting your leg drop. You two stare at each other for a couple seconds, unsure of what to do now. You knew that Jungkook was hard in his pants but you weren’t sure if he wanted you to do anything about it. Should you ask? No that’s fucking weird. Well it’s fucking weird you just let your best friend of a billion years to give you one of the best orgasms of your life.

“Um,” he speaks first, ���We should go back inside,” he says.

You nod, “Yeah, we should.”

You follow closely behind him as he slides the door open and you step back into the much warmer apartment.

“Y/N! Jungkook! What were you guys doing?!” Jennie pops out of nowhere until she steps back, “Fuck never mind, I can smell it,” she laughs, her eyes looking between the two of you. “What’s wrong with you two? Are you fighting again? Jesus fucking—“

“No, we’re fine, just high,” Jungkook gives her a reassuring smile and she nods absentmindedly. She is very drunk and then two of you might have to go home sooner than later.

“I need to call an Uber,” you say grabbing your phone from your pocket.

“I can drive you guys if you want,” Jungkook offers and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Absolutely not, you’re high.” You say pulling up the app on your phone.

“I’ve driven high before it’s not—“

“Jungkook, no,” you somewhat snap at him. This kid really knows how to grind your gears. “Thanks for inviting us, I just don’t want Jennie to do something she regrets tomorrow morning.” You try your best to lighten to mood but it’s not helping. As much progress as you and Jungkook had made the past few weeks, that all feels gone now. There’s heaviness with you and him and you hate it.

“Just let me know when you make it home?” Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read. He looks worried, anxious, high obviously, and other potential obscurities.

“I will, I promise,” you give him a smile and he returns one weakly. You look over your shoulder to find Jennie practically draping herself all over Taehyung. Fuck. “Jennie! Come on! We’re leaving,” you stomp over to the two of them and Taehyung doesn’t seemed bothered by Jennie throwing herself at him at all. If anything, they both seem to like it. “Jennie, quit, he has a girlfriend. Taehyung, you have a girlfriend,” you narrow at the both of them.

Taehyung laughs very drunkenly, “You’re right, come on Jen,” Taehyung pushes her away slightly and she stumbles over her feet.

“Our Uber is almost here,” you tell her and she nods.

“Sounds good,” she gives you a thumbs up. 

“Help me walk her Tae?” You ask and he nods.

As you and Taehyung have Jennie up around your shoulders, you look around the apartment to find Jungkook to tell him bye, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

_____

It had been exactly one week since you’ve seen Jungkook. Since he was fist deep into your vagina, pleasuring you with at least 20 people in the room next to you. It has also been the last time you spoke to him. He didn’t reach out for any tutoring this week which was odd—as the two of you set a schedule for it a few weeks back. You were worried. You knew you should reach out to him and talk about what happened—but something was holding you back. You didn’t want to talk over the phone. It had to be done in person and it just had to be done. You didn’t want to lose Jungkook a second time to another drunken mistake.

Mistake? Since when was it a mistake? Was it a mistake?

You had no idea.

It’s why you’ve found yourself at Jungkook’s apartment a week later, waiting for someone to open the door. You wait patiently and no one answers the door. You’re about to give up when a voice startles you.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

Taehyung appears to your left and you jump.

“Shit Taehyung,” you hold a hand over your chest, “I’m sorry, I-I was just wondering if Jungkook was home?”

Taehyung adjusts his backpack. He must be getting back from class. “He’s probably at the gym.”

You nod slowly, “Alright, thank you.”

“No problem,” he says and you’re about to walk away and he stops you again, “Everything okay?”

You open your mouth and close it again, “Not sure,” you tell him honestly. He nods without another word, seeming to understand where you’re coming from.

If your assumptions were right, Jungkook would be at a gym about ten minutes from campus, one he frequented as a freshman all that time ago. You wanted everything to be okay, but now, you were sure you have done fucked it up once again.

The gym isn’t crowded and you don’t recognize any cars to be Jungkook’s so your mood begins to dampen as you walk towards the front door. The bell rings and you probably look like an idiot walking in with jeans and sandals, but your eyes ignore the stares as you try to find Jungkook. You walk through the gym towards the back, your neck craning each direction to find him. It smells of sweat and grit, something you haven’t done too much of lately. You’re about to give up until you reach the back, where a cracked door leads into another section of the gym. You open the crack slowly and the sounds of grunting and hard hits fill the room. You stop in your place as your eyes land on Jungkook, downing boxing gloves, a pair of shorts, and nothing else. You gulp.

He’s hitting a heavy bag hard and fast, his movements halting only for a split second before he strikes again. He’s dripping in sweat and you gulp again. Should you interrupt? He’s definitely not expecting you therefore you probably shouldn’t barge in but you’re already here, so what are you supposed to do?

“Come on Jungkook,” another man’s voice comes into play. You’ve never seen this guy with mint colored hair. “Throw a southpaw, let’s go!” 

Jungkook’s stance quickly changes and he’s throwing his right arm and then uppercutting his left arm with all of his weight. 

“Nice Jungkook,” the voice says again. Jungkook steps back with a smile on his face, looking behind him. 

“Hey,” a different voice yells over and you stop to see who it is. A guy slightly shorter than Jungkook appears in the crack of the door, a wide smile across his face.

“Good news, fight is set,” the guy smiles, although his smile reads less than enthusiastic. You notice some bruising along this guys arms, a large scrap on the side of his face. This has to be Jimin, the other guy that was jumped with Jungkook. 

“When is it?” Jungkook breathes heavily, his hair sticking to his forehead as he tries to push it back through his gloves.

“October thirteenth,” Jimin says, “A Friday.”

Jungkook laughs, “A fucking Friday the thirteenth? How cheesy could they get?”

You swallow harshly. October 13th was a less than three weeks away. You’re sure they are talking about the fight with the guy named Eric that Jungkook mentioned.

“I know right,” the nameless guy says, “But I’m sure you’ll kick his ass once again, waste of your time.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice Jimin,” Jungkook sounds annoyed and you’re starting to wonder if you should have came here at all. 

“Come on, let’s do some more sets,” the other guy says says, patting Jungkook on the shoulder.

You take in a deep breath, hoping that this doesn’t backfire. You take your chance and open the door to the room as if you just showed up. Jungkook, Jimin, and the third guy turns to you.

“Y/N?” Jungkook asks, looking confused, “What are you doing here?”

You glance around the room awkwardly, “Uh, I-uh, went to your apartment to see you if you were a-and Taehyung said you were here, so,” you sound like a babbling idiot.

Jungkook’s eyes soften and it’s hard to not stare below his neck, but somehow you manage.

“Jimin, Yoongi this is Y/N,” Jungkook formally introduces you, “She’s a friend.” A friend. That hurt more than it should have.

“Hi,” Jimin gives you a sweet smile and he seems like a person Jungkook would automatically gravitate towards. Yoongi stays quiet. He’s definitely not someone you would strike as Jungkook’s friend. 

“Sorry if I’m interrupting—I didn’t know…” you trail off, feeling more than awkward in this situation.

“No worries,” Jimin shakes his head, “We were almost done anyways.”

Jungkook’s eyes haven’t met yours since you’ve walked in. He’s staring at Jimin and knowing Jungkook, he’s going to try and leave as soon as he can.

“Wanna meet again tomorrow?” Jimin asks towards Jungkook as he packs up his bag on the floor.

“Yeah, sure,” Jungkook mutters, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. “I’m gonna stay here for a little longer though.”

“Alright,” Jimin says, “It was nice to meet you Y/N.”

You smile to him, “You too.”

Jimin and Yoongi leave the room and the silence is suffocating. You cross your arms around your chest feeling vulnerable and insecure. You look at Jungkook and he’s staring at you now. He looks away from you before turning back to the bag, lining up to strike it again.

“Jungkook,” your voice interrupts his chance to punch. He pauses with one more glance to your frame. You begin to walk closer to him wanting to get this over and done with. “What’s wrong with you?” You ask.

Jungkook looks down, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mutters and you nearly jump out of your body when he begins to strike the bag in quick, calculated motions. The bag moves backwards with each punch and his face tenses up, his mind clearly on one thing and one thing only. You exhale deeply, trying to stay calm. If that’s the way he’s going to play—you won’t keep your cool for long.

“Jungkook, stop,” you raise your voice over his movements and he suddenly quits, looking up at you again. “Don’t do this right now,” you say stepping closer to him again.

“What do you want Y/N, I’m busy alright,” he scoffs, stepping away from the bag, turning fully to you. You wish he didn’t look good drenched in sweat but it was hard to stay focused when he was looking like that.

“You know exactly what I want. You haven’t spoken to me in a fucking week Jungkook,” your words are fiery despite your cool demeanor.

“Is that really that big of an issue? We barely spoke for two years until recently,” he sounds annoyed, but also timid—you can sense something is bothering him.

You frown, “Yeah until recently because I thought we moved past that.”

He doesn’t say anything. And that’s what boils your blood. Tears are threatening to spill from your eyes—not from sadness, but frustration.  

“So is that it? I let you finger fuck me and now I don’t mean anything to you anymore?” Your words are seething and once you say this, Jungkook’s face softens that slightest bit.

“What? No Y/N—“

“Then what the fuck is wrong with you? What have I done?!” It takes all of you not to breakdown right there. You just got Jungkook back. You couldn’t lose him a second time.

“Y/N listen,” Jungkook takes off his boxing gloves, throwing them in the floor, “You haven’t done anything alright. It’s just—complicated,” he shakes his head, stepping closer to you. He tries to grab one of your hands but you pull away from him.

“No, no you don’t get to do that,” you say, “What happened to communicating Jungkook? Wasn’t that our issue all that time ago?”

He looks down and back up. You really wish he would put a shirt on. “I know, I know…” he wanders off, “If I could tell you I would, but I’m just under a lot of stress right now and—“

“Then tell me what’s wrong,” you don’t want to interrupt him, but you feel like you two are going in an endless circle. Jungkook steps towards you once again and this time you don’t back away from him.

“Look, I’m sorry alright. I shouldn’t have cut you off this past week—I just thought it would clear my head,” he says. With hesitation, he grabs your wrists gently, “That was stupid I get that okay? I’m sorry, especially after… what happened,” he says and you can tell he means it. Jungkook is a genuine person, you can’t argue that.

Your face warms up and you feel almost embarrassed. Were you overreacting?

“I just don’t understand,” you mutter, “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions but Jungkook, you’re worrying me. I don’t know what’s going on with us and this whole boxing thing is keeping me awake at night.”

He intertwines your fingers together and it’s comforting. Comfort you’ve been missing ever since a week ago. “Y/N, please just trust me okay? If I can get through these next few weeks I’m set and I promise you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“How can you promise that?” You look up fully at him and you’re a lot closer than moments ago.

“I don’t to make promises I can’t keep.”

You sure hoped he was right.

_____

Two weeks have gone by since your talk with Jungkook in the gym. He had resumed talking to you normally, although there was still something off about him. Then again, there was something off with you too. The intimate situation the two of you found yourself in a few weeks back, still hadn’t been fully discussed and it bothered you like no other. It bothered you because you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want it to happen again—or even further. Fuck, you shouldn’t be thinking about Jungkook like this. But don’t you have a right to? Jesus you were so confused. It’s why you have found yourself at Beta Tau Sigma once again on a Saturday night, Jennie already lost in tow somewhere, and you’re standing with Namjoon. Even though your mind was clouded with Jungkook, Namjoon was good company at keeping you distracted.

“What’s up with you lately?” Namjoon asks handing you another drink. You furrow your brows before taking a sip. Your face scrunches up at the taste—not the best.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

Namjoon gives you a straight smile, “Don’t play stupid,” he says. You don’t even try to make up a lie. Namjoon is too smart for that.

“I don’t know, Joon,” you sigh, “I’ve just been going through a lot lately I guess,” you mutter over the loud music.

“I get it,” he says, “Wanna talk about it?”

You’re about to answer him when you suddenly spot a familiar head of dark brown hair across the room. It’s Jungkook and he’s with a girl—you recognize her from somewhere. She’s standing in front of him and he’s smirking down at her and says something that makes her laugh. Then you know where you’ve seen her before—the bathroom girl. Fuck her, you don’t even realize you roll your eyes.

Namjoon laughs, “Whoa, what was that for?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“W-what?” You look back to him and he follows where your eyes had been.

“Looking at Jungkook, eh?” He smirks, “Something going on between you two?”

You shake your head immediately, “No. Absolutely not.”

You didn’t know if that was a lie or not. Sure, Jungkook and you may have swapped some bodily fluids recently, but nothing else. You were also keeping a secret of his, one that if Namjoon found out about—would have him kicked out of the frat faster than he could blink. You glance back over to Jungkook one more time and find his eyes scanning the room. They land on you within 5 seconds and he shifts uncomfortably in front of bathroom girl.

“You sure?” Namjoon finds this situation funny. You don’t.

“Shut up,” you push on his chest slightly and he grabs your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Oh I can make you shut up,” he mumbles and you laugh as he closes the distance between the two of you. Namjoon’s lips are always soft and plump but that doesn’t mean he is always the most gentle. Namjoon is rough and sometimes—it’s just what you need. Jungkook’s lips on—

You pull away quickly from him. What the fuck?

“You okay?” He asks with concern.

You nod your head, “Yeah, I, just uh need some air,” you say. It was true—your head was now spinning and the alcohol wasn’t helping. You couldn’t believe you thought of Jungkook when kissing Namjoon.

“Alright, I’ll be by the bar.”

You leave Namjoon’s side and push your way through the hoards of people and loud music. You spot a door towards the back of the kitchen and use that as your opportunity. The air is cool but crisp. Just what you needed. There’s quite a few people outside surrounding a large bonfire keeping warm. You relax against the porch railings, staring aimlessly at the ground beneath you. You pour your drink out, knowing you don’t need to drink anymore of it. You nearly shit yourself when a voice comes up directly behind you.

“Y/N.”

You whip around, clutching your chest. “Jesus Christ Jungkook,” you say. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, a large flannel and sweatshirt covering his torso. He approaches you hastily and you don’t take your eyes off of his.

“I didn’t know you were coming tonight,” he says, obviously trying to make small talk.

“I didn’t either until Namjoon asked me this evening,” you say and you instantly regret bringing up his name. Jungkook stiffens.

“Still good friends with him I see,” he bites his lip nervously, looking over to the bonfire. You squint your eyes at him. He sounds off and annoyed.

“I see you’re still friends with bathroom girl,” you shoot back. You’re not even drunk, barely tipsy, but the thought of Jungkook being annoyed at you and Namjoon nearly sends you. At least you know Namjoon well—the only Jungkook knows about that girl is her fucking mouth.

“Gotta an issue with that?” He runs his tongue against his mouth and he looks at your from the side.

You turn to him and this feels all too familiar. “Yeah, actually I do.”

“Well, I have an issue kissing Namjoon in front of me—are we even?” He cocks his head to the side and you’ve never felt more annoyed yet turned on at the same time.

“Whatever,” you brush him off running a hand through your hair, turning back to your front staring at the fire. “Last time I checked I don’t take orders from you.”

“I know,” he says and you feel him push his body against your side. Your breathing instantly picks up and you bite the inside of your cheek to steady yourself. One of Jungkook’s hands finds its way to your shoulder, trailing it down to your elbow, then pushing it through the crack of your arm to settle on your waist.

“Jungkook,” you say quietly, not wanting to bring any attention to the two of you. Jungkook’s head leans down, his temple brushing against yours. His hand rubs gentle circles on your waist and you inhale his scent deeply. Fuck. “Jungkook… are you drunk?”

He shakes his head, “No, are you?” You believe him. He doesn’t smell like alcohol nor does he seem tipsy.

“No,” you say. Jungkook pulls you impossibly closer to him and your throat feels like its closing up.

“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook asks and you turn your head up, your noses brushing together. What? When has he ever been this upfront? You hesitate to answer but soon nod slowly—just once—you needed to feel it again—just once again. He closes the gap between you and you nearly melt into him. One of your hands grabs his face gently, pulling him down to you. Your own hands find their way to his fluffy hair, entangling into the locks. He presses himself into you and you feel your heart beating out of your chest. You let out a small whine when he pulls on your lip with his teeth and it shakes you back to reality.

You pull away from him—your entire body on fire. He’s got you trapped against the railing and you don’t trust the old wood to support your weight much longer.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and you feel something hard pressing into your front and your throat goes dry.

“Come home with me,” he says, “Please.” Desperation. That’s what laces his tone and you’re sure your heart left from your chest. But—you know this isn’t a good idea. Blame it on being sober, but you’re not sure you should go there with Jungkook. Not right now at least. Your head was spinning and as much as you wanted to—you couldn’t.

“Jungkook,” your eyes focus on his chest, watching your hands grip his shirt gently. “I—We can’t, we shouldn’t,” you bite your lip nervously.

“Please Y/N,” he nuzzles his forehead into yours, his grip on your getting tighter, “I need you, please—“

“Jungkook, no,” you push him off of you carefully and he looks hurt and confused. “I’m sorry, I—I want to but—“

“But what?” Once again, he looks sad and maybe a little angry now? “II’m not Namjoon? Is that it?”

You shake your head, not able to find a good answer in your head. His hands drop from your side and so does your stomach. Without another glance at your frame, Jungkook walks away, pulling at the roots of his hair.

You get home alone that night. Fuck. You think you really may have messed up this time. No, Jungkook wasn’t Namjoon but Namjoon could never be Jungkook. The history the two of you have... god you were so confused. You’re not sure you’ve ever felt gravity pull you to someone more since recently, that someone being Jungkook. As confused as your feelings were, you cry some in your bed. You don’t sleep that night, worried that whatever wedge is driving itself between you and Jungkook again—won’t be fixable this time.

_____

Jungkook, maybe much not to your surprise, cuts you off again the next week. You haven’t spoken or seen him since the party. Since he wanted you to go home with him and you nearly did, but thankfully you used your head some. You missed seeing his face dearly and missed his smile even more. When did things get so complicated with you and him? Ever since fucking graduation in high school—nothing has been the same. It’s been years and years and it’s something you’ve never gotten over. The more you think about it, the obvious reasons begin to show. Maybe Jungkook means more to you than you thought? Maybe he wasn’t just supposed to be your best friend? What if you two had been destined for something else all this time? Or maybe you weren’t meant to be friends at all?

Your thoughts are interrupted when a familiar face walks into your shift at the diner. Taehyung is by himself, his backpack thrown lazily over one of his shoulders. He looks tired, but just like you, getting through the day. His eyes meet yours and give him a small smile.

“Sit wherever,” you tell him and he decides to sit along the bar, sitting across from where you stand.

“Good evening,” he gives you a small smile, running a hand over his face.

“Hey Tae,” you breathe out, handing him a menu. He holds up his hand, not wanting it.

“Just get me a latte, extra espresso please,” he says and you nod.

“Coming right up.”

It doesn’t even take you a minute to make lattes now. The process has become so familiar it’s become second nature. Mainly due to your own obsession with lattes and your determination to perfect them yourself. You top the mug off with some foam before sliding it over to Taehyung. He doesn’t wait for it to cool before taking a big gulp.

“Rough day?” You ask, leaning forward on your elbows.

“You don’t even know,” he grumbles, “I had a quiz in my hardest class today that I didn’t know about, therefore didn’t study for,” he pauses, “I had to pick up all the slack on a group project that’s due on Saturday and then I have had to deal with Jungkook’s dumbass all week and he was at his worst this morning,” he rolls his eyes.

The mention of Jungkook makes your heart flutter yet stomach feel nauseated, “What’s wrong with Jungkook?”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you, “Don’t you know?”

“Um… he hasn’t talked to me in a week,” you look down at your hands, your mouth dry.

“Jesus fuck,” Taehyung groans, “No wonder he’s been in such a fucking mood. What did he do?”

You weren’t sure how to go about your answer. Um, yeah, so like Jungkook wanted me to go home with him to have sex and I did too and I didn’t and I don’t know why. Sounds great.

“It wasn’t him. It was me,” you pause, “He asked me to go home with him.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen slightly, a small smirk on his face, “Did you?”

You shake your head, “No, I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted to but…” you trail off, slightly embarrassed to be telling Taehyung this.

“Goddammit,” he nearly laughs, “No wonder he’s pissy. Between you and tomorrow, kid’s got his work cut out.” You pick up Taehyung joking around but you still furrow your eyebrows.

“What’s tomorrow?” You ask.

“The 13th. Did he not tell you?” Fuck. His fight. Without talking to Jungkook everyday, you had forgotten about the fight.

“He mentioned it.”

“Are you going?” The question catches you off guard.

“What, oh no,” you shake your head, “No, he didn’t ask and I don’t think that’s something I wanna see anyways.”

“Trust me, he wants you there,” he says, “He’s just being a dick.”

“He’s got a funny way of showing it,” you snap. “Every time something happens between us… he shuts me off. I don’t fucking get it.”

“Y/N he does this to everyone when he’s stressed,” Taehyung pauses, “Especially since, you know,” he shrugs. The fights.

You nod, “I get it,” you slump, “It’s still frustrating.”

“You don’t have to tell me that—at least you don’t live with him,” he gives you a laugh and you send a smile in return.

“How do you feel about it?” You ask him genuinely, “The boxing I mean…”

Taehyung squints his eyes briefly, “I think it’s stupid personally,” this answer warms your heart until he continues, “But if I was as good as Jungkook I would probably do it too. The money in these things are insane.”

You raise your eyebrows, “So I’ve heard.”

Taehyung nods before he gets a text on his phone. He reads it before smiling.

“Your girlfriend?” You probe curiously.

He clears his throat, “Uh, yeah,” he responds quickly before turning his phone over. “So, what exactly is going on between you two?”

“Uh, what do you mean?” You laugh sarcastically.

Taehyung deadpans his face, “You know what I mean. I know you guys have this weird chemistry, it’s obvious. Plus he hasn’t shut up about you since you started tutoring him. Y/N this, Y/N that… it’s disgusting.”

Did Jungkook really talk about you?

“Ask him, not me because I don’t even fucking know. I could tell you what Kim Namjoon and I are before I could define mine and Jungkook’s relationship.” You let out a laugh and other eye roll.

“I’m assuming you and hyung are… what do they say? Friends with…?”

“Yeah yeah whatever you wanna call it,” you swat your hand slightly embarrassed.

“Jungkook hates it you know,” he says, switching tones. “You and Namjoon.”

You slightly snort, “And why is that?” You could tell Jungkook didn’t like seeing you with Namjoon, even before last weekend after he voiced it.

“Because he knows Namjoon is the type of guy you’ve always wanted, not him.” This takes you completely off guard.

“Why would Jungkook care about that?” You furrow.

Taehyung shrugs, staying silent this time. You weren’t stupid—you knew what Taehyung was implying by saying what he said. It makes your stomach drop. Maybe Jungkook felt more for you than he supposed to as well?

“So are you gonna come tomorrow?” He asks.

“No Taehyung,” you say, “I don’t want to see Jungkook get the shit beat out of him.”

“Jungkook won’t get the shit beat out of him, I can promise you that.”

You eyes glance over to the door as a small group of people walk into the diner. You don’t say anything else to Taehyung as you walk over to greet them. You seat them and make your way back to Taehyung, but you can’t chat much longer as you now have a table to tend to.

“Listen Y/N,” Taehyung stops you before you can walk back over with menus for the group, “If you wanna come, just text me. Like I said Jungkook wants you there, whether he’s said so or not. Also, another latte please, you’re slacking woman.”

You swat him with the menus before walking away from him. Goddamn, these next 24 hours were going to be hell.

_____

You couldn’t remember the last time you were ever this nervous for someone aside from yourself in a very long time. You remember how nervous you were in high school when you got injured and Jennie had to double with a girl on the bench of the tennis team. You remember being nervous for your parents when you left for college. And now, you don’t ever recall a moment in your life where you have been this nervous for Jeon Jungkook of all people.

It was Friday at 3:43 PM and you day was slow but painless, and you had no official plans set for the evening. Taehyung had texted you, wondering if you wanted to hitch a ride along with him to the match. You had yet to answer him. His text mocking you from your screen and you wanted to pretend that you knew nothing of the boxing match but that was impossible.

[You 3:59 PM] What time should I be ready

You send the message before you could regret it and delete it. Jennie has yet to be home from going to the store and you would need a good, yet believable excuse for your absence tonight.

[Taehyung 4:00 PM] i’ll pick you up around 8

[You 4:00 PM] Sounds good. Have you spoken to Jungkook today?

[Taehyung 4:02 PM] no he’s been quiet all day. have you?

[You 4:02 PM] Nope

You don’t receive another text from him and you slump down on your couch. It had been nearing two full weeks since Jungkook had spoken to you. You felt like all of this was your fault, sending him mixed signals and unsure of your own feelings for him. From the secretive finger fuck to the gentle kiss you shared last week, Jungkook was on your mind 24/7—aside from taking exams of course—but he was all you could think about lately. Growing up, you obviously loved Jungkook and was practically glued to his hip, but even then you don’t recall thinking about him every single fucking second.

You pull at the roots of your hair and let out a frustrated groan. Maybe you should reach out? After all, without your initiation of friendship all those years ago, you wouldn’t be here now.

You pick up your phone and find Jungkook’s contact and before you can stop yourself, you tap the call button. Your hands are clammy and you know he probably won’t answer, but it’s worth a try. The line rings for about thirty seconds before it goes dead. That dumbass doesn’t even have voicemail set up.

Pissed off even more, you slam your phone against the coffee table and let out an exasperated ‘fuck’ before going to your room to take a nap. Fuck Jeon Jungkook, is the last thought you have before you drift off into sleep.

_____

Taehyung picked you up at 8:02, though you told Jennie it was Namjoon who picked you up and the two of you were having a night in. You think she believed it but left her before she could ask anymore questions.

“I just don’t fucking get it Taehyung, one second he’s fine and another he’s like a child throwing a fit,” you filled Taehyung in on how you tried to call him but to no avail.

“You don’t have to tell me how he is Y/N, I fucking live with the guy,” he groans from his drivers seat. “I just think he’s going through a lot right now… with school, his parents, the boxing, you… he’s never handle stress that well you know that.”

You let out a sigh, leaning against the window, “It’s just so frustrating trying to help him only to get cut off like this…”

Taehyung looks at you with an eyeful glance though you don’t notice. “Y/N, in his eyes you’ve cut him off too, you do realize that right?”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What? No I haven’t?”

“Come on the little brat can’t keep his mouth shut. I know what happened with you two a couple weeks ago,” he says. You don’t say anything, cheeks getting warm. “And the weeks before that on our fucking balcony—“

“Okay what then Tae!” You interrupt him, too embarrassed by the memory.

“Jungkook is trying Y/N,” he says with a hint of a smirk, “He thinks you’re rejecting him,” Taehyung says matter-of-factly.

“Rejecting? C’mon Taehyung you know that I—“

“I know that you and Jungkook like each other, even though neither one of you have said anything, Jennie says it too.”

You narrow your eyebrows at your friend. “I don’t know what I think about Jungkook okay?” You’re being honest. You know you like Jungkook… but you’re scared of what that entails for the future. You want Jungkook in your future, you just don’t know what the right path is.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything else as he pulls his car into a fairly full parking garage. It’s dimly lit and slightly freaks you out. Taehyung had to drive to the other side of the city to get here and you don’t recognize the neighborhood around.

“Stay close to me, alright?” Taehyung opened your door for you and you nod without any argument. You follow Taehyung out of the parking garage into the chilly air and you huddle by his side. The two of you walk down a couple streets before he turns down a dark, dimly lit alleyway.

“Taehyung what the fuck,” you whisper and come to a halt. His brown eyes bleed into yours despite the darkness and he takes your hand into his.

“It’s okay,” he says reassuringly, “I promise.”

You nod reluctantly and the you continue to walk down the alley, coming to a stop at the end where you spot the familiar face of Min Yoongi. He’s standing down a small flight of stairs beneath you two and he greets Taehyung with a stiff smile.

“Taehyung, what’s up,” he says, his eyes immediately looking over at you, “Y/N?”

You tighten your grip around Taehyung’s hand, Yoongi’s stare quite intimidating.

“She should be on Jungkook’s list.”

You stay quiet knowing Taehyung doing the talking is the best strategy. Yoongi looks down at a clipboard—old fashioned but effective you guess—before nodding.

“You guys are good. Hurry and find a seat, there’s a lot of people down here tonight.”  

“You got it,”  Taehyung gives him a small smile before you drag behind him down the stairs and enter through a heavy door. You already hear plenty of commotion as you enter a huge space a few feet from the door. Your eyes look around and you could see nearly a hundred people just in your line of sight.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung says.

“What?” You get nervous by his tone.

“I’ve never seen this many people here, goddamn.”

“Why are there so many people here?” You spot a large boxing ring, dead center of the room and your mouth goes dry.

“I guess people like rematches?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, noticing how some eyes are staring at you, making you shift uncomfortably in your boots.

“Probably in the locker rooms… wanna see him?” He asks.

You bite your lip. “Does he wanna see us?” You hope Taehyung says yes. It’s killing you inside not being able to see him, hear him.

“Guess we’ll find out, c’mon,” he smirks and you follow him closely. As you look around, you do notice people you somewhat recognize. Whether it’s from walking around on campus or some of your classes, all these faces are not too unfamiliar. Taehyung takes you away from the crowd of people, through another set of doors and down another hallway. With this much walking and standing, you would have worn something other than booties. You enter the “locker room” area and you suddenly feel queasy. What if Jungkook is mad that you’re here? What if he doesn’t want to see you after all? What if—

“Y/N?” Your thoughts are broken by a honey-like voice and you focus in on the source. Jungkook sits a few feet away from you and Taehyung, back leaning against a wall. He looks confused, but also pleasantly surprised. “What are you doing here?” He gets up and does the unexpected—he embraces you in a tight hug. You return it without a second though, holding him close to you. He pulls away from you after a few moments and gives Taehyung a small hug too.

“Hey,” you say shyly.

“How are you feeling?” Taehyung asks his friend and Jungkook shrugs.

“I’m alright.” Jungkook looks at you again. “I didn’t think you’d ever come to one of these,” he laughs awkwardly.

“Me either,” you say with no expression. As much as you wanted to be happy—you couldn’t. You were pissed at Jungkook for ignoring you and you were pissed that Jungkook was about to fight. You eye his frame, a white t shirt and navy sweatpants hang low on his hips. He looks calm, too calm for your liking.

“Will you give us a minute?” Jungkook suddenly turns to Taehyung and he nods glancing at you.

“I’ll get some seats.”

Taehyung leaves you and Jungkook alone and you nearly feel like crying. What the fuck is this mess?

“Y/N listen to me,” Jungkook says stepping towards you, “I’m so sorry about thess past two weeks. I-I’ve been a dick for no fucking reason and it’s not fair to you.”

You don’t say anything as you stand there with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Fuck I know I’m idiot and there’s no excuse… I’ve just been so stressed lately and you’re the best fucking part of my day—“

“Well why don’t you fucking act like it Jungkook? I’m sick of something happening between us and you acting like a I don’t exist for god knows what reason,” you raise your voice slightly.

“Y/N I,” he pauses, his hands finding their way to your shoulders, “I haven’t been honest with you and,” he pauses again and you feel your heart speed up. What’s he talking about? “I just wanna say—“

“Jungkook, you got five minutes,” the two of you turn to Park Jimin who seemed to come in at the wrong time.

“Fuck,” he says, “We’ll talk after okay?”

You nod hesitantly and before you can push yourself away from him, Jungkook places a kiss on your forehead and it makes your insides melt. Fuck, you meet his brown eyes, biting your lip nervously. 

A revelation springs into your mind; you think you might love him. He pulls you in for another hug, though this is one much shorter as Jimin is ushering you out of the locker room in the blink of an eye.

As much as you wanted to be mad at Jungkook, those thoughts had quickly subsided and replaced with butterflies and nausea. Did you really love Jungkook? You always have, but the feeling in the pit of your heart is pulling you to a different type of love. You cared about him, sometimes even more than yourself. You’ve always wanted the best for him, even if that meant sacrificing your feelings in the process. Now you were stuck between a rock in a hard place, much like you were back in high school when you had a crush on Jungkook. Fuck. And now you have to watch him fight someone like dogs,  

You shake yourself from your thoughts, as loud music flows through your ears and you look around for Taehyung. Luckily, his ashy hair color is easy to spot amongst the crowd and you push yourself to him, squeezing in between bodies and their chatter.

“My bet’s on Jeon,” a voice says.

“Fuck no, Eric isn’t gonna let the same guy beat him twice.”

You try to ignore the snide comments about Jungkook and when you get to Taehyung, he greets you with a smile.

“Hey, everything good?” He asks.

You lick you dry lips, “I don’t know,” you say honestly. Taehyung’s eyes drop and he nods. 

Suddenly, all the lights go out in the venue and a roar of screams and cheers fills the void. You stay still, pressing your body close to Taehyung. It’s not that you feel unsafe, but this environment—it wasn’t for you at all. You heart rate quickens when a man, give a few years on your age, gets into the boxing ring before you, the crowd cheering even louder for him. He bumps a microphone with his palm before bringing it to his mouth.

“Welcome, welcome!” He beams with a smile, “What an outstanding turnout we have tonight! You guys choose a good one to watch because tonight is the rematch of two of the best fighters I’ve seen in a long time…”

“Let’s give a welcome to our first fighter, weighing in at 148 pounds, 5 foot 11, Jeon Jungkook!”

Being an underground fighting ring, there isn’t a posse escorting Jungkook to the ring. He’s got Jimin by his left side, Min Yoongi on the right. Jungkook is shirtless, wearing only a pair of navy shorts, black and white boxing gloves on his hands. He enters the ring with cheers and you inhale and exhale deeply. You look up at Taehyung and he gives you a nod of reassurance to calm down. Jungkook jumps around in place a few times, shaking his arms and shoulders out. From your seat, you can’t read his eyes or facial expression—but he looks calm and unnerved.

“Coming in next, weighing in at 145 pounds, 6 feet tall, Kim Eric!”

Jungkook’s opponent walks in next, three guys surrounding him. He walks slow and steady, his bare chest tattooed beautifully, his boxing gloves a dark red. He enters the ring to cheers and this Eric guy’s gaze doesn’t leave Jungkook’s body one time. Jungkook hasn’t spared one glance at the guy and you find yourself somewhat smiling. Jungkook has always been a cocky-fuck when it’s come to sports which would usually annoy you, but here right now—he looked hot as fuck standing there as if he had no care in the world. Jungkook stands on the left corner of the ring, sitting on a small stool as Jimin and Yoongi talk to him. Jungkook nods, absorbing their information. Eric and his guys do the same.

Suddenly, both men stand and Jimin is putting a mouth guard in Jungkook’s mouth and with one last nod, he finally looks over at Eric, who has already made his way to the center of the ring with the announcer. Jungkook stalks over slowly, his eyes dark and hungry.

“Alright guys, I want a clean fight. No kicking, no cheap shots. If you get knocked down, I give you ten seconds to get up. You look me in the eyes and say you’re good before anymore fighting happens alright. We go for five rounds, unless more is needed. A knockout wins. Touch gloves.”

Jungkook sticks out his gloves for Eric but Eric only stares at him, ignoring the sign of solidarity.

“Fuck you,” Eric says to Jungkook and sends a chill down your spine. Jungkook rolls his eyes, backing away from him, but stays silent.

“Alright… ready… fight!”

Time slows as a bell rings loudly, the cheers get even louder, and you find yourself gripping Taehyung’s arm for support. Jungkook starts to move around the ring slowly, but Eric isn’t having that—immediately rushing to Jungkook to get a few jabs in. Jungkook manages to dodge them perfectly before Eric can corner him. Jungkook keeps his gloves high and never looks away from Eric. Eric comes after Jungkook again, jabbing once—twice—the third time hitting Jungkook square in the face.

“Shit,” you breathe out, eyes widening.

This time, Jungkook comes for Eric, his jabs coming quick and calculated, landing Eric in the body once. Jungkook jabs again and hits him in the face. Eric moves around quickly, Jungkook not quick to follow him. Eric comes after him again, Jungkook blocking his jabs, but missing at the end, leading to Jungkook getting hit in the face once again as well as a body shot.

Eric is coming in hot, throwing punches and jabs left and right, making Jungkook dance around to dodge them. After a few moments, Jungkook begins to fight back, landing Eric square in the face twice. You notice that Jungkook must have busted Eric’s lip as blood now protrudes from his mouth. This seems to send Eric into overdrive and attacks Jungkook quick and fast. You cover your mouth when Eric has Jungkook trapped against the rope, landing body punches after body punches.

“Alright!! Enough, break it up!!” The announcer gets Eric off of Jungkook and Eric starts to laugh in a very showman's way. Jungkook is breathing heavy and he tilts his head—a habit of his that comes out when he’s frustrated or angry. This seems to be both.

Jungkook and Eric continue to throw jabs at one another. Within a few seconds, the whole fight seems to change as Eric manages to slip past one of Jungkook’s blocks and lands him straight on the cheekbone. Jungkook’s body almost freezes before he falls back on the floor and you gasp at the sight.

“Fuck! Taehyung—“

“He’s fine, he’s fine,” he says but his eyes never met yours.

The announcer is on the floor with Jungkook counting down from ten and Jungkook finally sits up when he reaches the number four.

“You good son?” The guy asks Jungkook.

He nods, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Jungkook gets up and walks around, stretching his neck around, waiting for the ref to announce the second round.

“That’s what you get motherfucker,” Eric says walking past him to his corner. Again, Jungkook says nothing before sitting down. Jimin takes out his mouth guard and lets Jungkook drink some water.

“Why is Jungkook letting him hit him like that?!” You ask Taehyung, looking up to him, “He’s getting his ass kicked!”

Taehyung shakes his head, “Jungkook’s smart Y/N… he’s trying to run Eric’s energy out. If Eric keeps swinging the way he right now, he’ll be passed out on his own soon.”

The second round commences and this time, it’s Jungkook who comes out fast. Jungkook soon has Eric trapped against the rope, landing jab after jab. The ref intervenes and lets them get some air. Jungkook’s skin is sweaty and red hot and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look as mad as he does right now.

Eric counters quickly, catching up with Jungkook again, landing punch after punch. Jungkook escapes but Eric sticks out a foot, causing Jungkook to trip. The whole crowd—yourself included—start to yell at the action. The referee pulls Eric back and points his finger at him. You can’t hear what he’s saying, but you know it’s a scolding by the way his mouth is moving quickly. You look over at Jungkook who shakes his head disapprovingly. He’s talking to Jimin as Yoongi cares to a cut on Jungkook’s eyebrow.

“He’s a fucking asshole,” you make out Jungkook saying.

The third round starts and it seems both Eric and Jungkook are equally fighting this time. Jungkook’s combinations are cleaner than Eric’s, anyone can see that, but the way Eric keeps landing in on Jungkook—makes you feel like this isn’t going to end well for him.

“Come on Jungkook!” You find yourself yelling in the chaos, your whole body shaking as Jungkook dances around the ring to get away from Eric. Eric has him trapped again, but with Jungkook’s strength, gets Eric off of him to turn the tables. There’s sweat and blood coming off both fighters and it’s got to be the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen.

“Come on you little bitch,” Eric spits at Jungkook, “Is that all you’ve fucking got?”

Jungkook says nothing again, jabbing when he needs to.

“Fucking hell why won’t you speak to me you fucker?” Eric speaks again.

“I don’t have shit to say to you,” Jungkook finally retorts back. “You lost my respect when you sent those pussies to jump Park and I.”

Eric swings hard and Jungkook ducks, barely missing it by an inch. Eric is tired, Jungkook too, but Jungkook can see a weakness in him now.

“Come on it was all in good fun,” he says with a smirk, “You know what else would be good fun?”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything.

“Kicking your ass,” he pauses and before Jungkook can do anything else, Eric swings down hard, landing on Jungkook’s body knocking the breath out of him. Jungkook stumbles backwards, holding his stomach, he lands again on the ground with a clunk. Eric stands over him, before taking out his mouthpiece, “And stealing your bitch you invited tonight.”

“Goddammit,” you mutter watching the scene unfold in front of you. No one knows what they’re saying to each other over the noise and you honestly couldn’t care. You just want Jungkook to get up and finish this shit.

Jungkook stands up, though with a visible wince in his face. He’s breathing heavy and is filled with pure rage. The fourth bell rings and it doesn’t take long for Jungkook to attack him. Jungkook is fast and furious, landing punch after punch and you’ve never been happier for someone to get their ass kicked. Jungkook lands a punch straight across the face, causing Eric to stumble backwards. Even though you know nothing about boxing, Eric looks exhausted where Jungkook looks ready for more. With everything left in Eric, he starts coming after Jungkook. Jungkook blocks until he can’t block no more, but something in Jungkook’s stance changes. Jungkook steps forward, his right hand landing straight on Eric’s face cause his form to break. Jungkook steps quickly again, his left hand bringing an uppercut to Eric’s jaw.

The room nearly falls silent as Eric loses balance, going down straight on his back and head. When he hits the ground, the room erupts in a roar so loud it nearly deafens you.

“Holy shit!” Taehyung exclaims. The ref is down on the ground, counting down from 10, and then it’s at 5 and then 3 and then—

“Ladies and gentlemen, Jeon Jungkook wins this rematch!” The ref grabs Jungkook’s hand and holds it up over his head and you find yourself jumping up and down, pulling Taehyung down for a hug.

“Taehyung oh my fucking god!” You exclaim. He smiles brightly at you.

“I told you, he knows what he’s doing,” he says and you nod. You couldn’t deny it now—as stupid as Jungkook was for getting involved in this, his talent for the sport was extraordinary. “Come on, let’s get to his locker room,” Taehyung pulls you by your hand and you make your way back to where you were earlier.

Jungkook hasn’t arrived yet, but you find Yoongi already in there, setting out a first aid kit.

“Hey guys,” he says, “Great fight, huh?”

“Yeah, it was brilliant,” Taehyung says. The door opening catches your attention and Jungkook walks through with Jimin.  Your eyes instantly meet and you can’t even stop yourself from running to him and throwing your arms around him. He exhales deeply with a sharp wince, returning your bone crushing grip with his own.

“Alright lovebirds, he needs to get fixed up,” Yoongi’s voice interrupts you two. You hesitantly let him go and he sits down in front of Yoongi, sitting forward on his knees. He’s still breathing heavy, dripping sweat everywhere.

“Fucking hell Jungkook, since when do you box southpaw?” Taehyung pushes his shoulder slightly and Jungkook only laughs as Yoongi wipes away the blood on his eyebrow.

“I’ve been working on it for awhile,” he says, “Just never had the right time to use it… until tonight at least,” he says giving you a glance. “Eric is all talk, no bite. I can’t fucking stand him.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll be boxing him again anytime soon,” Jimin says, “He’s embarrassed himself twice now.”

“Yeah, agreed,” Yoongi chimes in, placing one of those bandaids that pull the skin together like stitches above Jungkook’s eyebrow. “No one will want to box you now knowing you can southpaw.”

Jungkook looks at you and you furrow your eyebrows at him. He said he wasn’t going to fight after this, but the way they are talking—it sounds as if he is.

“Well, I think my boxing career is probably over after tonight,” Jungkook speaks up as if he could read your mind. He tears his eyes away from you as the others look confused.

“What?!”

“Why?”

“Jungkook c’mon!”

“Guys,” he breathes out, “I made a promise, okay? Besides, I have enough money now, I don’t need anything else.”

Your features soften as you listen to his words. His promise was to you. A smile grows on your face as you watch his body calm down from his intensified state. Once Yoongi is finished, he packs everything up. The five of you talk amongst yourselves before Taehyung turns to you.

“You ready to go home?” He asks.

“I can take you home,” Jungkook says before you can answer.

“Okay,” you give him a small smile that he returns.

“Okay then, I’m gonna head out, I won’t be home tonight Jungkook,” he says.

“I know I know, at your girlfriends,” Jungkook swats his hand and Taehyung flips him off before leaving.

Jungkook stands up throwing on a shirt and slipping into Birkenstocks. “Come on,” he says to you, holding out his head. You gladly take it and it feels more like home than home ever has.

_____

“Fuck Jungkook, how much money is this?” You ask him as he hands you a white envelope as he unbuckles himself in the driver seat. The envelope is thick and you peak out of curiosity, your jaw dropping.

“I told you,” he says snatching it back from you, “As much food as I’ve bought you lately, hopefully this will last.”

You swat at his sarcastic comment before letting out a laugh. Instead of going home, you asked Jungkook to go anywhere but there. You’re parked outside of his apartment complex, which was fine with you. The two of you needed to talk. Not much talking goes on as a silence falls between you two.

“Y/N.”

“Jungkook.”

The two of you laugh as you speak at the same time.

“You first,” you say, turning your body to face him fully.

He takes a deep breath before speaking, “I know I said it earlier but I really am sorry about this past week. There’s not an excuse that justifies me acting like a complete dick to you, especially when you’ve been nothing but nice to me.”

You stay quiet, unsure of what to say.

“And when I said you’re the best part of my day… I fucking mean it. I’m sorry for coming onto you like I have, I just,” he doesn’t finish, his eyes looking everywhere but you.

“Jungkook,” you get his attention again, reaching over the console to grab his hand, “Don’t apologize for that. Yeah, you’ve been a dick each time something happens between us but that’s the apology I care about.”

“I just don’t know how to say it,” he mutters, caressing your hand gently.

“So you’re really not going to box anymore?” you inquire. Jungkook was good, more than good... it couldn’t be easy giving up on that. 

He shakes his head, “No. I told you I didn’t want you worrying about me anymore. I keep my promises,” his smile his sweet and you swear your feel yourself melting more and more into his touch. 

“Jungkook,” you let out a deep sigh, “I didn’t realize how much I needed you in my life until we became friends again. You know almost everything about me and I don’t want anyone else to ever take your place…”

It’s hanging there by a thread—the words on your tongue—and you’re not sure you can say them and they feel constricting—but you know you have to and—

“I love you,” the words come from your mouth and you feel like you could puke. “I don’t know when or why, but I’m in love with you Jungkook. You’re all I think about anymore and I don’t want anyone else when you’re right here.”

Jungkook parts his mouth, staring at you with a look you can’t read. Fuck, you fucked this up for sure.

“Shit—I know that was so rushed and stupid. Fuck I’m an idiot—“

“Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice interrupts you and you try to hide within your own body from embarrassment. With your hand of yours in his, he pulls on it, forcing you closer to him. You look at him wide eyed before he presses his lips against yours firmly. As usual, his lips feel so good and you melt into him. This is good right? What the hell is going on? You pull away from him after a few moments, an unsure look on your face.

He nuzzles his nose against your own before speaking, “I’ve wanted to tell you that since the night of our graduation.”

“Really?” You ask as you feel your palms sweat, heart racing.

He nods, “I’ve been in love with you for god knows how long now.”

A smile creeps upon your face and you let out a sigh of relief. Jungkook watches you with interest, tucking some of your hair behind your ear.

“I can take you home whenever,” he says quietly.

You’re quick to shake your head,  “No, it’s okay… I can stay, if you want,” your voice trails off and you suddenly feel shy under his gaze.

You don’t notice how Jungkook bites his lip but he does say, “Yeah. Of course.”

_____

Jungkook’s apartment is how you remember it, though a lot quieter without Taehyung here. You’re sure the reason Jungkook’s apartment is spotless is because of him. He has always been clean and organized and Taehyung… well he was Taehyung.

“I’m gonna get in the shower, my room is in here if you wanna chill,” Jungkook says and you give him a small nod. He rids his shirt before he even closes the bathroom door and it makes you gulp. This is new territory for the both of you. The two of you just admitted your love for one another and you’re about to spend the night with Jungkook? And not in a friend way? Jesus Christ you could be tripping.

You walk into Jungkook’s room and it smells just like him. His bed is neatly made and his desk is sprawled with two computer monitors and some notebooks from school. His walls are decorated as you’d expect—a Korean flag hanging, a ‘Saturday’s Are For The Boys’ flag—typical—and a few Beta Tae Sigma plaques scattered. What catches your eye is a wall of neatly lined photos taped to the wall. You look around at all of them with a smile. Most of them are Jungkook and his frat brothers, Taehyung, a few of his older brother, there’s even a picture of you, him, Taehyung, and Jennie from high school. One that catches your eye the most is one of just you and him. It’s an old picture but the memories from that day flood your mind. It was from your first week of freshman year here at university. Both of your smiles are wide and you two are hugging each other’s frames closely. Jennie took the picture you remember. It makes you smile to yourself, butterflies entering in your stomach. Did you love Jungkook then and didn’t know it? The way you’re looking at him in the picture would say so.

You suddenly feel an urge to be close to him again. You’ve never been a ballsy person but as you look back at the bathroom door that’s closed, your desire to be touched again by Jungkook again overwhelms your senses. Closing your eyes briefly, you don’t need much more convincing before your stripping yourself of your jacket and shoes. You kick off your jeans and sweater, leaving you only in your undergarments. You tip toe to the bathroom, grabbing the handle, opening it easy.

The shower water is loud and there’s steam in the small quarters. Jungkook is humming to himself as you start to take off the rest of your clothing. With a deep breath, you grab the shower curtain, pulling it back. Jungkook’s back is facing you but he hears you instantly.

“Shit Y/N you scar—“ he stops mid sentence as he takes in your naked frame getting in the shower too.

“Hi,” you mumble meeting his eye contact.  

“H-hey,” he nearly chokes on his own air, trying to keep his eyes up from your breasts.

“Scooch,” you smirk at him to move to get underneath the water too. He does as you say watching you curiously. You’re in the process of wetting your hair when his chest is pressed firmly against your back.

“This wasn’t expected,” he says into your ear, his hands moving to grip your waist from behind.

“You’re the one that wanted me to go home with you,” you say giving him an innocent glance over your shoulder. He laughs biting his lip, pressing them against the skin behind of your ear. You lean into the physical contact, feeling almost all of your stress go away instantly.

You spin around to look at him fully as it’s a frenzy whose mouth collides with whose. He leans down to grasp your lips in their entirety, pulling you closer to him than you ever have been. He pulls you away from the water so it doesn’t get in your face as he presses you against the shower wall. His tongue dips in and out of your mouth, his hands free roaming over your breasts and down to your ass, whatever he likes within the moment. Your hands grip his dark locks as he moves his mouth from your mouth, to your neck, down to your chest. He waste no time taking your right nipple in his mouth and you exhale deeply at the feeling.

You pull his face back to yours, kissing him again not able to get enough of his lips. His hands trail down from your ass to the front of your thighs, getting closer and closer to your wet center.

“Is this okay?” He asks as his fingers rub slowly back forth between your entrance. You can barely speak as his touch is setting you on fire but you manage to nod.

“Yes, please, Jungkook,” you say. He enters one finger, then another stretching you out nicely. Fuck you forgot how good this felt with him.

“Fuck you’re so wet,” he breathes heavily and you glance down at his hardening cock. Your mouth waters at the sight. Jungkook lifts one of your legs and starts to take his fingers in and out of you slowly and agonizing. He fingers you deep and rough and you can already feel a climax coming.

“Shit,” you croak out as Jungkook rubs one of your nipples, kissing your neck. There’s a pain at the back of your head at his force pushing you against the wall but it’s easy to ignore when it feels so good below your waist. “Jungkook, I’m gonna come,” you say as the snap inside of you is about to break.

“Come on baby,” his voice is deep and groggy. As if on cue, you feel your climax wash over you and you’re not shy to be loud. You know no one is here so it doesn’t bother you one bit. Jungkook kisses you against feverishly as he pulls his fingers from you. You feel impossibly empty but you know what you want to do and you’re not near anywhere tired. Your hands travel down to his front, grasping his hard dick in your hands. God, he’s so big.

“Oh fuck,” Jungkook seethes through his teeth as you pull on the sensitive skin, all the way from his pubic hair down to the tip. He places a hand beside of your head, leaning forward against your forehead. His eyes are shut tightly and you lick your lips, wanting to take him in your mouth.

You push him away from you slightly and move down to your knees, your face front and center with his beautiful dick. You take no time to put him in your mouth which causes Jungkook to groan loudly.

“Y/N,” he says looking down at you. He’s never seen a better sight. You make sure to keep eye contact as you bob your head up and down his shaft. While one of Jungkook’s hands stays against the wall, his other grips your hair, fisting it into a makeshift ponytail. “Oh fuck—He pulls on your hair and it only makes you want to please him more. Your left hand go to his balls, the right helping you up and down his length. He pulls your hair again and you take as much of him as you can. His tip reaches the back of your throat and you gag around his length and Jungkook thinks he could actually cry. Watching you through half open lids, he decides this isn’t how he is going to come—not tonight at least.

He grabs your hair and pulls you away from him and you’re slightly confused when he brings you to your feet.

“Come on, I need to be inside of you,” he says and you nod eagerly as he turns off the shower. He leads you out of the bathroom in a frenzy, pulling up into his bedroom. You shut the door behind you and he pins you against it, kissing you hard and deep.

Both of you are dripping wet but neither of you care to dry off as he carries you to his bed. You settle on his lap as his hands rest on your waist tightly. Your hands grip his face just as tight but you’re careful not to touch his injury above his brow. You couldn’t believe he was just fighting two hours ago—that seemed like forever ago compared to now. A lot can change in a short period of time and it makes you slightly chuckle against his mouth.  

“What?” He breaks the kiss asking you with a hazy grin.

You shake your head, “Nothing,” you smile pushing his hair from his forehead. You liked seeing it. “I love you,” you repeat. And you probably won’t stop, ever.

“I love you too,” he says, “So much.”

“Let me ride you,” you whisper in his ear and his eyes light up like a child. “Are you clean?” You ask him. 

He nods quickly, “You?” You nod in response and both of you feel excited and anxious. 

You rub your hand against his length again and you hold it up as you adjust yourself to sit on him. As soon as his tip enters you, a shiver runs down your spine. As you sink yourself lower, groans come from both of your mouths, a deep moan erupting from you when you bottom out.

“Oh my god,” you breathe in and out to control yourself.

“Ride me baby,” he says and you start to move your hips against his. He fills up every inch of you and it feels so good. Your hips lift away from his and he chases them with his own thrusts. He kisses your neck as you throw your head back, your hands digging into his shoulders for leverage.  

“Fuck Jungkook,” you say seeing stars in your eyes, “You feel so good,” you whine.

“You have no idea,” he says against your sticky skin, one of his hands bruising into your waist helping you ride him in a fluid motion. “Goddammit,” he says.

As you grind against him, your clit rubs against his pubic hair, sending your toes curling. He senses that you’ve found your sweet spot against him and places his thumb there instead to rub the sensitive bud.

You feel yourself inching closer and closer to a second climax when Jungkook stalls your motion.

“Lay on your stomach,” he breathes and you do as he says climbing off of him quickly. He doesn’t even give you time to get there all the way before he’s grabbing your hips to pull your ass to him. He slides right into you and you nearly scream into his mattress. Your hands grip the sheets as he fucks you deeper from behind. He smacks your ass once, twice sending a loud whine from your mouth.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mutter trying to focus on Jungkook’s whines and small ministrations from his mouth. He reaches forward, rubbing your clit again and you want to die and go to heaven at the feeling. Neither of you try to be quiet anymore as you feel the second orgasm coming over you. You clench and unclench around Jungkook’s length as he stalls his thrusts to feel the action.

“Come inside of me,” you say, knowing both of you are clean and you have an IUD.

“Jesus,” he breathes, picking up his pace again chasing after his own high. As the sensitivity becomes too much, Jungkook finally lets go, coming deep inside of you. He holds your hips close against him, trying to deepen his climax as far as possible. The hot cum inside of you feels good and you moan at the feeling.

When Jungkook finishes completely in you, he pulls out with a sigh. You collapse against the bed, completely spent. Jungkook finds a clean rag in his pile of clean laundry and is quick to clean yourself and him up. You feel like you can barely move as Jungkook joins you in his bed. He turns you over to face him and he kisses you gently which you return happily.

“I love you,” he says for the third time tonight, kissing your nose.

“I love you too,” you entangling your legs together. The room is silent apart from your breathing and you’re about to go to sleep when he nudges you with his hand.  

“Come on,” he says.

“What?” You ask.

“Let’s actually take a shower now since someone wouldn’t let me,” he eyes you with accusation.

You squint at him before flipping him off. “Fuck off.”

_____

The next morning you wake up with Jungkook hugging you from behind, his face nuzzeled in your hair. You have no clue what the time may be, but you since it’s early by the way the birds chirp out the window. You stretch out your arms as best as you could and try to move your legs, but it doesn’t work since Jungkook’s heavy legs are tangled with your own. You’re tempted to fall back asleep but when Jungkook moves behind you, you turn to see his ruckus. You’re met with his brown eyes and you jump slightly, not expecting to see him awake. Both of you let out the faintest of laughs, not saying anything.

Jungkook leans over and kisses your lips, “Good morning.” His voice is groggy and he shuts his eyes again as you fully turn your body to his.

“Good morning,” you respond, watching the way his chest rises and falls gently. “How’d you sleep?”

“Hmm, really good,” he mumbles. You are about to join him in closing your eyes again until a loud rumble comes from your belly. Jungkook laughs.

“Hungry much?”

“Starving,” you groan, “I didn’t eat dinner last night.”

“Why not?”

“I was too nervous before your match… I thought I would yak if I ate,” you answer. Stupid, you know, but it was your train of thought last night.

He opens his eyes again, “Let’s go to the diner for breakfast… employee discount.”

You glare at him, “Is that all I am to you? A fucking employee discount,” you say saracastically.

“And my girlfriend if that helps?” He raises an eyebrow. Your cheeks heat up and you smile.

“Welllll, since my boyfriend is rich now and gets a discount, I’m assuming he’s paying.”

He smirks, “Obviously.”

“Will you take me to my place so I can change? And then we’ll go?”

He nods, his hand caressing the side of your body, “As much as I wanna stay in bed, I could really go for pancakes right now.”

“Waffles are superior,” you remark.

He frowns with a disgusted face, “Get the fuck out of my bed you heathen.”

_____

Jungkook insisted on coming up to your apartment with you because he didn’t want to wait in the car, but you know he just wants to see you change in front of him. Boys are all the fucking same.

As you fumbled with the key, the door opens and whatever Jungkook is saying to you is suddenly drowned out when you see—

“Jennie?”

“Taehyung?”

The names leave yours and Jungkook’s mouth as you watch the scene in front of you. Jennie is sitting on the counter, Taehyung in between her legs with a coffee cup in hand. Could be worse but what the fuck is going on?!

“Shit,” Jennie says pushing away Taehyung. “Hey guys,” she smiles awkwardly. You and Jungkook look at each other confused before Jungkook speaks.

“Uh, Taehyung?” He asks and Taehyung is. as red as a tomato.

“Oh fuck,” Jennie mutters shaking her head. She looks at Taehyung for backup.

Taehyung pinches his nose before speaking, “Um… we’re dating.”

You and Jungkook have the same reaction as your mouth drops.

“Jennie is your secret girlfriend?” Jungkook asks.

“Surprise,” Jennie smiles again looking at you.

You look at Jungkook and shake your head at the four of you. What a fucking cliché.

The four of you go to breakfast together that morning and it’s like old times, just with a sprinkle of something new. As long as the four of you have known each other, you’ve always had each other’s backs. Even now, with you and Jungkook and Jennie and Taehyung—you know that would never change from here on out. Turns out, Jennie just thought her and Taehyung were friends with benefits, while Taehyung was telling everyone he had a girlfriend because he was that smitten with her. The four of you laugh at the situation at hand and you couldn’t believe everyone was back together... like this. As Jungkook’s pancakes and your waffles arrive, Jungkook’s beaming smile lighting the whole room you think to yourself—this is how it’s supposed to be. 

[i-became-the-lady-of-the-blog]

Here is an idea for yandere Dire Crowley, as expected from thot blog, it has sex in it. Read more is added because the length. No beta

——

MC had been asking the same questions over and over again, when she can go back to home, what’s his progress in finding a way to home, ya da ya da ya da

Dire had it enough. But that’s not all. He had MC, gave her clothes and a place to sleep. Instead of worshipping the he walked in, she wanted to leave! How ungrateful she was!!! On top of that, she was wasting the things he gave to her on her friends

This had to end...

Dire cooked up a plan and was sure it would work

Dire said “I have found a way for you to return home but there is an issue with one of the ingredients.”

MC was elated to hear she could go back home “What’s the ingredient? I’d climb Mount Everest to get it!”

He didn’t understand what she meant but she walked in his trap “One of the ingredients is the mixture of body fluids of spell caster and the user”

MC was embarrassed to hear but also so desperate to return home “I can bring some next morning”

“It cannot be mixed outside the bodies. If you do it, the spell won’t work and it has to be done by fortnight. And we need to gather as much as we can for spell to work” The magic was crazy for her and it didn’t have to make sense as he made her rush to the decision

MC was reluctant at first but she had no other choice. Dire was not going to ravish her in the dorm where ghosts would know what they do. He teleported them to his room.

He took off his gloves, hat and jacket leaving them on his dresser. He turned to see how nervous MC was which excited him even more. He grabbed a bottle from his drawer and handed it to MC, telling her it was just contraceptive potion. After drinking the potion, she told him she is ready.

He could have taken out all of their clothes with magic but he wanted to savour the moment. He slowly took off her clothes, his hands grazing her skin as the article of clothing fell to the ground one by one, leaving her in her underwear. Then it was his turn.

“If you please help” She nodded, her hands found their way to his vest and stated to unbutton him, followed by his shirt. Another time she might have enjoyed the appearance of his toned body but as of now it was nerve wrecking and it was about to become worse since she had to remove his pants too.

Dire already took off his shoes, was waiting for her to unbuckle his belt and take off his pants. He felt himself harden when her hands unzipped his pants and she knelt on her knees to remove the rest of it. When it was done, he saw her face his clothed cock, seemed surprised to see the bulge. He barely held himself from thrusting forward. She got up and reached to his mask, was stopped by his hand. “Later” he said before reaching towards her bra “We need to normalize seeing each other’s naked body or this week won’t pass” She nodded, letting him do as he pleased.

He unhooked her bra, freeing her breasts. He let her bra fall to the ground as he admired her chest, how good they would feel if he were message them and lick her nipples. It would be real in a few minutes. He then took off her knickers and told her to remove his. They had plenty of time to admire those parts later.

He removed the duvets with magic. “This might hurt but as kind person, I’ll be as gentle as possible.” Dire said, pushing her down on his bed.

“I had sex before. Yet, we still need to have foreplay so I won’t be harmed” Well that was bummer but her past doesn’t matter.

He dimmed the lights with his magic before he took off his mask and threw somewhere in the room. He didn’t want MC to see his face yet while thanks to his nature he would see all of her reactions. She would feel his face soon either way.

“Call me Dire when we are alone, MC” He said wanted her to sing his name as he brought pleasure beyond her wildest dreams. He pressed her to the bed, giving her a deep kiss and leaving her surprised. His lips move from hers to her jaw, her neck then her chest. Taking one nipple to his mouth, his hand moves to message the other one. Her breathing hitched, unintentionally pushing her chest forward Dire, letting out a soft moan. His ear picked it up as a smirk formed on his face. His stimulation was working and her moan just encouraged him further. He suckled her nipple more until moving on to the next one, giving the same attention to it.

He could smell her arousal but he was not done yet. MC asked for foreplay then Dire shall deliver it. When he deemed it was enough nipple play, he kissed his way down to her crotch. Spreading her legs further for better access, he took a good look at her cunt. What a pretty little thing, he thought. He started to kiss from his inner thighs to the main dish. He sucked her thigh, leaving hickeys that no one but them would see, he graze his fangs along her skin, he felt her tense whilst thrusting her hips. He continued to give attention to her thighs all while looking at MC’s face. She was covering her mouth with her hand, suppressing her moans. That was not going to do so he pulled her hand away “There is no shame here. Let your body sing” She nodded, letting out loud moan when he continued to kissing her thighs, moving towards her vagina.

When he reached her slit, he slid his nose like credit card before his tongue playing with her clit. He moved down to her vagina and without wasting any time he slammed his mouth on her vagina, his tongue exploring it while his nose brushed her clit. With one hand he was gripping her leg, moving it for better angle while with the other one he was messaging her breast. Soon she tried to clamp her legs together, squeezing Dire in between but that didn’t stop him. His tongues dwelled as much as it could, touching as many places it could. His fangs was brushing against her pussy time to time but it was just making her more excited. Her hand dangled in his hair, pressing her further while her hips her thrusting against him. It was euphoric and soon she felt her orgasm coming, her toes clenched as her back arched.

Dire did t want to waste time by waiting for her to come down from her high. Normally, he would expect oral in return but right now, he just wanted to cum inside her. He crawled over MC, positioning her legs for deeper penetration, her legs clasped around his chest. He looked at her face, how needy she looked, he was such a kind person to fulfill her needs. Without further ado, his cock penetrated her vagina. A deep moan left his lips as he felt her vaginal walls around his cock before he could stop himself. He just wished he could have felt this divine feeling before.

Dire was not alone in the pleasurable feeling as MC moaned as well. He brushed her hair out of her face before kissing her as he started to thrust forward. He didn’t stop thrusting his hips and soon he and MC were in synch. He was kissing her neck and jaw then mouth when she let another moan out which was silenced by his mouth.

Dire felt MC arching her back as her walls started to tense, understanding that she is close to her release, he sped up. Her walls clenched around his cock as she cummed, making him release too. Both were panting, trying to catch their breaths but Dire recovered faster.

“Sh-should we gather our cums now?” She asked.

“It’s better to gather when there is more. I am not taking my cock out so our cums won’t leak out” He reasoned with her and she nodded in agreement. When Dire recovered enough for second round, he started to move again. It had been so long since he had had sex. He is unsure if he had ever felt this way before. It had to be MC’s doing and he was glad for every moment of it.

The next two weeks went the same way. The only difference was MC was less embarrassed to be naked in front of Dire. When it was the day to cast the spell, Dire convinced her to have more sex as to get more cum mixture for the spell.

MC was so tired after so many rounds that she just closed her eyes for 5 seconds.

—

She opened her eyes, it was dawn, the sunrise was lightening the room. Where she was didn’t register with her at first. After blinking a few times, she realized she was still in Dire’s bed. She turned to her side and saw him facing the other way while his hand was thrown over her. Did he forget that he was suppose to cast the magic at dawn?

MC shook Dire awake, he was being mumbling under his breath, telling to let him sleep. There was no time to waste so she shook him more harshly.

Dire turned to face her, he was not wearing mask nor the dark was covering his face. His eyes stood out as a confirmation of his fae genealogy. She didn’t expect him to look this good but she couldn’t focus on that now. “What is it, my dear?” She was baffled to be called my dear but there was no time now.

She changed to sitting position, readying to leave the bed “You have to cast the magic before sun rises completely!” She tried to get up from bed but his arm over her didn’t budge. “Dire! Hurry!”

Dire chuckled, standing on his elbow. “Oh my dearest,” he took the hair in front of her face and tucked behind her ear with his hand that was over her. “Did you really think there was a spell such that?” He smirked as he brushed her cheek.

“B-but”

“You brat are not going anywhere. Now go back to sleep.” He swung his arms over her, pushing her back to the bed. She tried to remove his arm and get away but it was no use. “Besides why would I let the mother of my child get away?”

That shocked MC. “WHAT?! You gave me contraceptives!”

Dire laughed cruelly. “That was to increase fertility and stamina.” He lifted himself up lightly, moving the sheet and getting closer to her belly. “Maybe you are already pregnant from our first night together. It takes 2 weeks for impregnation of your kind.” Kissing her belly, “Hey little one!”

Dire straighten himself on the bed and pulling her harshly, he spooned her. “You should rest, my love. This might be the only time you’ll be able to rest.” He kissed her cheek and let his head fall to the pillow.

MC struggled to get away from his grip but it was impossible and was tiresome. Her nails dug into his hands, thinking that pain would cause him to let go but it was impossible.

All MC wanted back was the big house with red door, the lemon tree outside her window...

——

Kudos if you understand the last line’s reference.

[tomurasprincess]

Kinktober Day 23: Overstimulation (The Euphoria Bot)

Day 23: Overstimulation Title: The Euphoria Bot Pairing: Hastume x Reader x Robot Word Count: 2.2k Warnings: Noncon, dubcon, overstimulation, robot sex, face sitting, sexual punishment, forced orgasms, yandere Note: Hngg, one more day down. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I really had fun with this idea, so I hope everyone enjoys! Also thank you to @pleasantanathema for reading through this and coming up with Euphoria Bot when my brain was crashing over robot names!

Edit: My 3AM delirium brain also forgot to credit @hisoknen​ who I talked over the robot idea with, and she is the one who mentioned Mei and one of her inventions would be a good fit. I’m sorry Raph, ILY.

Kinktober Masterlist

You really shouldn’t do what you’re about to do. You know this, and yet you’re still so curious. Your girlfriend Mei never leaves you alone in her lab, and it would look terrible if you betrayed her trust the very first time she does by poking at one of her precious babies.

But you can’t seem to stop yourself from walking towards the fancy looking robot in the corner. It’s the same size and shape as a large human, maybe about 6’5.” There are strange little pads on each finger with grooves and ridges, and a few compartments along the body of the robot that seem like they should open up. There are so many dials and display screens that you can’t even begin to tell what each one does. 

Except for the big red “on” button. 

This is a terrible idea, you try to convince yourself. You shouldn’t press the button on a machine that Mei made without knowing what it does. Especially one that is apparently in the defective pile and no way of knowing why it’s there. 

You press the button. 

The robot comes online with a few whirring and beeping noises. You wait a few seconds, almost expecting it to randomly explode like some of Mei’s other inventions. Instead, it stands at attention and greets you.

“Hello, I am Euphoria Bot. How may I serve you today?” The robot greets you in a professional tone.

You’re completely taken aback, simply standing there with your mouth hung open, unable to think of a single thing to say.

“I am here to serve you.” The robot repeats, still standing at attention as if waiting on something.

“Serve how?” You’re finally able to respond, a bit of the shock having faded.

“I exist to provide pleasure to mortals. Verbally consent and I will demonstrate.”

“I consent,” the words fall from your lips without any thought, sheer curiosity overtaking you. But you are certainly not expecting the robot to scoop you up in its metallic arms and push you down on the floor.

“Wait - what do you think you’re doing?” 

“I will provide you with pleasure,” the robot says as it begins to work at your clothes. Fear crawls up your spine at the strength the robot must have when it rips even your jeans into two pieces.

“Wait, I didn’t know this was what I was - ahh, stop that!” Your sentence ends in a choked gasp when a ridged finger comes to rest on your clit. There is a clicking noise, and then the fingertip turns on, vibrating against you and sending waves of pleasure into your core. The cold of the metal contrasting with the heat of your skin has you shivering.

You find yourself coming undone embarrassingly fast, stomach tightening as the robot presses the ridges down along your clit as it continues to vibrate. “Shit, too sensitive, stop!” You try to pull away, but the robot only holds you down and increases the vibrations. “God, stop it’s too much,” you whine as you try to squirm away, but the robot’s grip is ironclad.

“I will provide you with pleasure,” the robot repeats, and a sliver of fear crawls up your spine as you begin to suspect why this robot is defective. The vibrations increase even further, and you whine from deep in your throat as you see stars behind your eyes. A strange feeling is coming over you, making you feel like you have to pee. 

One firm rub of the notches on the robot’s finger has you squealing out your orgasm, clear liquid gushing out of you and onto the robot’s legs and ground. “Fuck, oh god,” you pant as you quiver in its’ arms. “Okay, okay, that’s good, you’ve provided pleasure, turn it off, please - “

“Will you not allow me to provide you any more pleasure?”

“No, no more pleasure, I withdraw my consent.” Maybe if you state it officially, the robot will finally listen.

“I understand.”

You breathe a sigh of relief as the robot releases you, standing up and moving back to where it was when you turned it on. But that relief quickly turns into horror when you see what it comes back with.

Handcuffs and a spreader bar. 

You jump up on wobbly legs as you try to get away, but the robot is too fast, grabbing you with one arm and forcing you back down on the ground. “My directive is to provide pleasure,” the robot repeats, and the phrase makes you want to scream in frustration. “If you no longer consent, then I may override you to complete my directive.”

And with that, your hands are handcuffed behind your back, legs forced open as the spreader bar is placed in between so that you can’t close them, leaving your dripping pussy exposed for the robot to do whatever it wants with.

Two cold metal fingers rest against your throbbing clit as the vibrations start again, and your eyes roll to the back of your head at the blinding pleasure. “Fuck fuck fuck,” you babble as you feel another finger prodding at your entrance, gathering up your juices before it pushes inside of you.

The robot’s finger is thick, but you’re so wet that it’s not uncomfortable as it slides in. Until you feel another finger pressing against the first one. Your walls are forced to stretch open until they graze your cervix, the sting causing you to wince.

And then the vibrations start from within you, and you can’t think about the pain anymore. The robot rubs your clit in tight circles, the rough texture at the tips only increasing your pleasure. You’re already right at the edge of another orgasm, and when the robot curls its fingers up against your g-spot, you’re gone, pussy clamping down as more liquid squirts out of you.

The robot removes its fingers from your pulsing pussy, and you begin to hope that maybe this is finally over. That is, until it presses a button on the front and you watch a compartment open. A massive cock emerges, with more of those ridges along its length. It’s so thick, thicker than anything you’ve ever taken before.

“That won’t fit inside of me, it won’t, please stop - “ You beg and plead, but you know your begging is fruitless when the robot repeats that same damnable phrase that has you internally screaming.

“I will provide you with more pleasure.”

It lines itself up with your pussy and begins to push inside. Your legs are trembling, sweat beading along your forehead as you try to close your legs, but the spreader bar prevents you from doing anything to keep the robot from going in deeper. You’re dripping from your previous orgasms, but the fit is still so tight as the unyielding metal forces the tight ring of muscles at your entrance to stretch.

“Fuck no, god fuck, stop, it hurts,” you whimper and plead, but the robot continues to slip inch by inch into you until finally it bottoms out. The robot ignores your begging, giving you only a second to adjust before it begins to thrust. The force of it has you being pushed back, only held in place by a firm grasp. Your breasts bounce with every movement, something that is apparently noticed as fingers come up to work your nipples into hardness. 

You already feel the waves of pleasure rising up, your pussy clamping down on the hard metal buried deep inside of you. The robot must sense it too, because suddenly you feel vibration shoot through the robot’s cock, pressing against that sensitive spot inside of you and wringing another orgasm from your tired body. 

“No, god, fuck I can’t cum again, please,” your begging falls on defective ears as the robot grips your hips with one hand and begins to pound into you as another finger comes to rest on your clit. Your vision blurs and turns black around the edges as you cum again, the pleasure borderline painful at this point. More liquid gushes out from your aching pussy and coats the ground beneath you. Even the robot’s metal frame is covered in your juices.

“No more pleasure, please stop!”

“I have not fulfilled my directive,” the robot repeats as all of the vibration increases at once. You scream through your orgasm, finally descending into complete darkness as you pass out. 

You don’t know how long you’re out, only that when your eyes flutter open, the nightmare still hasn’t ended. It’s still on top of you, thrusting away inside of your sore, aching pussy. You almost wonder how it still has the stamina before horror dawns on you. It’s a robot, and robots don’t need rest. 

But before you can panic over how long this might continue, you notice something different as your eyes are drawn to the side.

Your girlfriend Mei is sitting in a chair beside you, watching you get utterly ravaged by her baby. But instead of looking concerned or worried, she looks positively thrilled.

“Mei, please help me,” you whisper weakly, eyes shutting as you twitch through another orgasm. “I can’t make it stop.”

“Snooping through my workshop and touching my babies without me? How could you?” The redhead’s voice isn’t angry though, taking on the usual cheerful tone. “I can’t be mad though. I’ve never gotten to test it out like this!”

Test it out? Your brain is sluggish as you try to work through her meaning. “Test it? You have to help me - shit, nooo,” your voice takes on a panicked tone as your stomach tightens again, a sure sign of another impending orgasm.

“You’re going to help me first!” She giggles a bit as she stands up, pulling her pants and panties off as she tosses them to the side. “You take care of me, and I’ll help you out! How does that sound?” She straddles you, facing the robot as she lowers herself down, taking two fingers and spreading herself open as she rubs her pussy along your face. “You know what to do!”

You desperately want to refuse but you know how Mei can be when she’s testing her precious babies. Your best shot at ending this is to do as she says, so your tongue pokes out from your mouth as you lick along her slit. She sits further down, reaching behind her to grip your hair and force you harder against her pussy. You begin to lick and suck along her folds, brushing by her clit but not applying any pressure. 

You’re rewarded with a frustrated whine from Mei when you continue to not give her the stimulation you need, and despite the situation, you smile at how needy she is. You finally work her clit into your mouth as you gently suck on the swollen bead.

You let out a loud moan of both pain and pleasure against her heated skin as the robot thrusting inside of you pushes against your g-spot, sending waves of another orgasm through your body. Your vision blurs again, but you shake it off as you begin to devour Mei’s pussy like a starving woman.

You suck hard on her throbbing clit, and are rewarded with a loud moan as she begins to ride your face. “Yes, yes, yes, just like that,” she chants as she grinds down, cutting off some of your breathing. You feel her juices dripping down onto your face as she cums with one final suck of her clit.

She lifts herself up, allowing you to take deep gasping breaths of oxygen. “You did so well,” she says, voice slightly breathless as she comes down from her orgasm.

“Now please make it stop” you whisper weakly, body convulsing as you’re forced through yet another orgasm. You don’t even know how you’re still able to with your pussy so sore and your clit practically numb from the extreme vibrations still running through your body. 

“I don’t know, do you think you’ve learned your lesson yet?” Mei giggles a bit as your eyes widen in horror, head shaking side by side frantically until you’re forced to stop when dizziness overtakes you.

“I’ve learned my lesson, please! Please, oh god please make it stop,” you plead with her desperately, panting as your eyes roll back into your head as you squirm from yet another orgasm. “I’m sorry Mei, please!”

“Oh alright,” Mei lets out a soft huff of breath as she stands up. She reaches around to the back of the robot towards a button that you couldn’t have reached even if you wanted to. You breathe a sigh of relief at this nightmare finally being over which quickly turns to concern when you see how long Mei is taking.

“Actually, I just realized something,” she stops just inches away from what must be the off button and grins at you before pressing several other buttons. “I don’t think we should stop yet!”

You see another compartment open up right under the first one, and a cock the exact size of the one still pumping inside of you emerges. Your eyes widen in horror as you watch the second cock line up with your ass.

Mei giggles at your expression, clapping her hands together and practically bouncing in place. “After all, this is valuable testing of my precious baby’s new features!”

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Kinktober: @thewheezingwyvern​, @vixen-scribbles​, @katsukisprincess​, @hisoknen​, @trafalgar-temptress​, @leeswritingworld, @burnedbyshoto​, @bakugotrashpanda​, @dee-madwriter​, @kittycatkrissa​, @reinawritesbnha​, @yanderart​, @dabilove27​, @fae-father, @anxietyplusultra​, @flutterfalla​, @angmarwitch​, @nereida19​, @babayaga67​, @fromsunnywithlove​, @dabis-kitten​, @bakugos-cumsock​, @yumeneji​, @the-grimm-writer​, @iwaizumi-chan​, @slashersheart​, @bunnyywritings​, @bakarinnie​, @angie-1306​, @lalalemon101​​, @videogameboiwhowins​​, @f4nficbaby​​, @tenkoshimmy​, @baroque-baby​​, @bbyspiiice​​,  @thirstyforthem2dmen​​, @blissfulignorance2000​, @bluecookies02-main​, @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten​

[sugaxjpg]

infamous; m

⤷  You would rather die than to have someone figure out about your sexual escapades with Local Fuckboy, Kim Taehyung. It was an ego thing. 

✓ Couple: Taehyung x Reader | Fuckboy!AU & SecretRelationship!AU

✓ Filed under: smut 

✓ Look out for: bathroom sex, breast play, oral (male receiving) + deepthroat, fingering, dirty talk, unprotected sex (use condoms or i’ll kill u!!!), mirrors,switch!tae and switch!reader, taehyung being lowkey a prick but we’re all in for it 

✓ Words: 12,508

Author’s Note: Of course my year-long hiatus would end with a smut. What else can I say? I can hear the clown music from here. 

“Like, can you actually believe that? He ghosted me for three weeks, then he had the nerve to ask for a tit pic.” She sighed, taking a slip from her neon green drink. You didn’t know how Hyejin could ingest something that resembled toxic waste and make it seem like it actually brought her some sort of comfort. “You know what? I’m done with men. All of them. We really are living in the medieval ti— Are you even listening to me?” 

You blinked twice, taken off guard by the clicking of her fingers in front of your eyes. Truth was, you were only half present, the other half of you scrutinizing the living room, trying to find a certain someone amongst the agglomeration of bodies. 

“Yeah, sure, sorry,” you apologized, leaning your side against the wall. Behind Hyejin, two guys started yelling about something related to Harry Potter and you couldn’t care less. “I was somewhere else for a second, but I’m here now. You were saying that he ghosted you?”

“Yeah, like an absolute idiot.” She rolled her eyes, gesticulating aggressively. You nervously watched the movements of the radioactive cup, worried that it would splash all over your clothes. You really should’ve thought twice before combining a white blouse with your black skirt — that was a catastrophe waiting to happen. “I’m never talking to him again. Or any man.”

“Hm,” you hummed, crossing your arms. You didn’t know who she was trying to convince, that must’ve been the fifth time you heard your friend giving you that speech (during that semester alone). “Who’s that again? Hoseok?” 

“The one and only,” she agreed, glimpsing at her side as if someone could even hear you two amongst the loud reverberation of the music. “Really, I don’t know how those guys haven’t been thrown out of the campus yet. They’re a hazard, all seven of them. A threat to public health.”

You shrugged. “From what I’ve heard, they pay their tuition and do well in class. That’s as far as the college cares.” 

She groaned. “I guess.” Another slip. A pause. Another one. Yep, you were designated driver for the night. “Could be worse, though, I could be one of the poor chicks that Taehyung fucks in his spare time.” 

Oh. 

You giggled, nervous. “Yeah, yeah,” you agreed, looking back at the mass of students. “Yeah, that’d be awful.” 

She hummed in concordance, taking her cup back to her lips. The two guys behind her decided to quit the arguments and moved away from the two of you, making you follow their figures as they dissipated amongst the crowd. You didn’t know how college parties managed to squeeze so many people in one small living room, but it was one of the mysteries of life, you guessed. 

“I don’t know what’s the deal with that one,” Hyejin continued. “It’s like he has a golden dick or something.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows, turning your attention back at her. “What do you mean?” 

“Doesn’t matter, he’s a complete douche.” She moved her hand as if she was scaring away an invisible fly. “Don’t even think about him. He’s the kind that uses and discards people.”

“You think so?” You asked.

“I know so,” she said. “I couldn’t even count on my fingers the amount of girls that had one night stands with Taehyung, and somehow became completely whipped by the dude, only to be told that he doesn’t ‘fuck the same person twice’. Like… What the fuck is that? Who says that?”  

You laughed, noticing the tinge of red that covered her cheeks. “You sound really drunk.” 

“So?” She asked. “I’m not bullshitting you. Taehyung is a prick and that’s gospel.” She raised her cup in a silent cheer, and took another slip. “I know you’re not involved in the fuckboy phenomena that plagues this campus, and, honestly, you’re better off that way. But trust me when I say that he isn’t worth the headache.” 

With an inattentive nod, you took another peek at the strangers in the room. “I believe you, don’t worry.” 

The worst part? You did. 

Even worse? There were two things wrong with what she had told you. 

Number one: yes, Taehyung was kind of a jerk sometimes. But he wasn’t completely soulless. He was fun to be around, actually, when he wasn’t surrounded by his smooth-brained friends, or trying to impress someone into sleeping with him. Also, you were pretty sure he told at least most of those girls that he wasn’t searching for anything serious, and a one-night stand was most likely all that they would get. 

You couldn’t speak for all of them, of course, but the ones that you knew personally, at least, had mentioned something along those lines to you. He didn’t exactly lead them on, trying to break their hearts just for the sake of it. Besides, Taheyung was already kind of infamous around campus for “using and discarding” people, as Hyejin had put, so it wasn’t precisely a surprise for anyone involved. 

Number two: Taehyung fucked the same person twice, if he felt like it. And you knew that because you’ve been fucking him on and off for the past five months or so. 

To your defense, you weren’t exactly after a “secret friends with benefits” relationship when you first met him. In fact, you didn’t expect that you would fall victim to his charms just like everyone else, melting under his tender kisses, moaning his name as he rolled his hips against you, edging your orgasm for longer than you could hold it. And you didn’t expect to like it as much as you did. 

Truth was: Kim Taehyung was everything, but he wasn’t dumb. He knew that he was attractive as hell; he knew that he had a voice so silky and deep that just saying the right words would be enough to have you in bed with him — and he knew how to use two two things very well. So, just like Eve, you followed the snake and bit the apple, and blah blah blah, eternal damnation or something like that. Big deal. 

You didn’t care much about being fuckbuddies with Taehyung, actually — he had his fun with other people in the meantime, and so did you —, but you pretty much could die at the idea that someone would find out. It was an ego thing, alright? You didn’t want people to know that you were interested in him, since you prided yourself in being a strong, independent woman, and to have people think that you were wrapped around his finger (which you absolutely wasn’t!) would not be a good look for your personal brand. 

And it got more complicated than that. The thing was that Taehyung had always been one to flaunt around his trophies. It wasn’t unheard of for him to just start talking about someone that he had fucked, maybe even giving a bit more detail than anyone else involved would appreciate. You knew that it was just a matter of time before your name dropped from his lips at the wrong time, in front of his ape-brained friends, and everyone would discover that you were added to his long lists of booty calls. 

So, when you asked to keep that first night a secret, you were surprised when he quickly accepted it. 

Against all expectations, Taehyung didn’t fall into his old pattern when it came to you. He had been the one to text you first, calling you over to his place — which he made sure to be empty — and he had been the first one to suggest that you two kept meeting up after that. Now, let’s not get this mixed up: it wasn’t an undisclosed crush, it wasn’t love. It was just Taehyung fulfilling some weird-ass kink of his. He liked to have you when he wanted it, the way he wanted it, and he liked the thrill of it all being undisclosed — to him, it felt like you two were doing something wrong, which managed to turn him on even more. 

Also, you were human, alright? There was something extremely tempting about sleeping with someone as almighty as Kim Taehyung, King of Fuckboys, especially when he kept coming back to you. It’s only nature to want to feel special every once in a while. 

Again: it was an ego thing. 

Even if your pride told you otherwise, you decided, again and again, to come back to him. Late at night in your apartment, when your roommate had already gone to sleep, and he was buried deep between your legs, licking your wetness and sucking on your clit. Or maybe in the interval between your classes, when you two managed to get the locker rooms empty, and he fucked you so hard against one of the lockers that you could swear someone would come see what was going on with all that banging against the metal. 

But no, no one ever caught you. Not Hyejin or any of your other friends. As far as you were aware, Taehyung’s group didn’t know a thing either, which made you appreciate him even more. 

See? He wasn’t a total douchebag. He had the most basic sense of loyalty. 

And, yeah, you didn’t like lying to your friends, but it was a necessary measure. You were sure they would kill you if they found out about your private escapades with the Local Fuckface McGee: half out of sheer panic for your emotional well-being, and the other half out of pure jealousy. You didn’t think much about it most of the time, since you kind of understood Taehyung’s side: you simply liked the thrill, and you weren’t actually doing anything illegal. No one really had to know.

Rupturing the bubble of your nostalgia, your friend’s voice startled you back into reality. 

“Who are you looking for?” Hyejin furrowed her eyebrows, staring you down intensely. She had been your friend for three years, and you were absolutely certain she could see through your bullshit — well, most of the time. “Do you have a dick appointment that I don’t know about?” 

You laughed, your voice coming out an octave higher than you intended it to. “What? No!” So subtle, congratulations. “I’m just searching for a friend. She owes me a bit of money and she’s been avoiding me for some time.” 

You were impressed at the ease that the lie left your tongue. At the same time, you had been doing that for five months now — keeping your distance from mentioning anything Taehyung, figuring out excuses to get away from your friends at the weirdest of times — , so you guessed that was something that came with practice. 

“You want me to beat her up?” Hyejin offered. Just a glimpse was all that you needed to know that she was dead serious. “Give me her name. I promise I just wanna talk.” 

“No, it’s fine,” you said, chuckling at her aggressive demeanor. “It’s not a lot of money, I’m not super worried. I’m just tired of being avoided.” 

She smirked, taking another slip from her cup. How didn’t the drink end yet? That cup was infinite. “You and me both, sister.” 

Your lips parted, but, before you managed to let anything out, a loud sound of men screaming in excitement overlapped the beat of the electronic song. Hyejin met your eyes with a mixture of puzzlement and interest and, in an unspoken agreement, you two decided to see what the fuss was about. 

Lucky for you, you two didn’t even have to take two steps to figure it out. Since the large opening to the living room was right besides you, all that you needed to do was to take a look through it, right at the kitchen, to see the beautiful, Animal Planet view of Hoseok drinking beer upside down. 

“Hyejin?” You called calmly, eyes still glued to the spectacle.

“Yes, love?” She answered, absent-minded. 

“You know who’s throwing this party, right?” 

She shrugged. “I might.” 

You suspired, taking a step back so you could stare at her. Behind you, people walked towards the kitchen, pumped to see if Hoseok could drink the entire thing (as if he didn’t do that in every single party he throwed). “So, there’s any other reason why you dragged me to Hoseok’s party, besides one that you needed someone to keep you company while you waited to be dicked down?” 

“Great deduction, Sherlock.” She smiled, eyes shining in enthusiasm. You looked at Hoseok, then back at Hyejin. Maybe she wouldn’t have any grounds to judge you and Taehyung after that circus performance. “I’ll make it up to you, don’t worry.” 

“I’m not worried about that.” You crossed your arms. Seokjin, who was holding Hoseok by the ankles, pterodactyl-screeched in joy as the boy reached the end of the beer. Two more slips and he’d be good to go. “You sent him the tit pic, didn’t you?” 

Hyejin licked her lips, taking a hand up to fix her hair. “I’m only human,” she said. “Besides, I had already invested a lot on him. I even did a full body shave. I couldn’t just not do it.” 

You laughed at the idea, watching as she became more and more distracted by the man. A group had already formed around Hoseok, and you knew it was just a matter of when Hyejin would do the same. 

“What happened about being over all men?” You asked. 

“Yeah, yeah… After tonight. Right now I’m planning to get under one.” She gave you her neon green cup with a harsh movement, and you held it without thinking much about it. “I’ll see you later, Y/N. Hold my drink for me.”

“Have a great night, I guess,” you raised the sound of your voice as she began to walk away. “Text me when you get home!” 

She responded without turning back, giving you a thumbs up over her head. “You too, girlie!” 

And, just like that, she was gone. 

Disappointed but not surprised, you sighed and placed your body back against the wall. From the kitchen, a roaring applause exploded, and you knew that Hoseok had finished his Herculean task. Good for him. 

You stared down. The sharp shade of green reflected on the skin of your hands, looking like something straight out of Chernobyl. You took the cup to your nostrils and gave it an experimental sniff, your nose cringing at the appalling smell. Fighting the disgust that had built in your stomach, you quickly took it away from your face, and decided to place it on a table nearby. No wonder Hyejin was so out of it, the poor girl was suffering from radiation poisoning. 

The Chainsmorkers started to play and you asked yourself why the fuck was Satan in charge of the music. All around you, strangers fumbled to the rhythm of the song, a girl even falling to her knees at one bad turn of the ankle, then turning her gaze up at her friends and laughing maniacally. The odor that enveloped you was strong and nauseating — Axe body spray, probably — and the thumping of the sound was starting to get annoying. Since you were alone with your thoughts, there wasn’t much left besides to hyperfocus on those details, which was all but a pleasant pastime. 

You crossed your arms, bored out of your mind, and thought that it might be the wiser decision to go back to your place and just sleep the night off. Yeah, the semester was already ending, most of your tests and projects had passed, but that didn’t mean you weren’t completely exhausted at all the accumulated stress you had endured. Now that Hyejin had moved on with her plan, you didn’t have much of a part to play in that party anyways. 

A couple almost tripped on you as they giggled their way towards the stairs, probably searching for an available room. What a nice reminder. You pressed your lips together, then peaked back at the kitchen, where you only saw Seokjin, Namjoon and Jungkook leaning over a pile of red cups — Yoongi right behind them, seeming like he was about to kick the whole thing down. You didn’t know where Taehyung was, but he most likely already left with someone else. 

You turned back to your previous position, crossing your arms in frustration. Great. Your friend was after her sexting partner, and your own booty call was probably balls deep inside someone else by then. Really, there wasn’t much that you could do in there. It would be better if you just left while your dignity was still intact. 

With a sigh, you pushed your body away from the wall, fumbling with your purse. You were praying that Hyejin remembered to give you the car keys, otherwise you would be trapped in that place for god knows how lo— 

Oh there he fucking was. 

The moment that you saw Taehyung, sitting on the couch across the room from you, it was like you forgot to breathe for a moment. That little demon incarnated looked better than you had anticipated — dressed in all black, with his thighs spread across the seat, ready to be fucked right then and there. His dark hair was parted in the middle, a few stubborn strands falling over his angelic features, and his thumb distractedly circled his lower lip as his gaze navigated around the room, staring at nothing in particular. Next to him, you could see another one of his friends — Jimin, if you were not mistaken — talking about something animatedly, but the other man was paying no attention. 

His expression was one of irritation, you noticed, with his thick eyebrows moving together, jaw clenching. It was pretty erotic, if you said so yourself. You didn’t know what Jimin was telling him, but you sure hoped he wouldn’t stop anytime soon. 

When he saw you, however, Taehyung’s perceived annoyance instantly dissipated. 

With your mind racing in anticipation, you watched as his eyes met your own, then trailed down your body with desire, stopping around the level of your thighs for a bit longer than you had predicted. You knew that stare awfully well — it was the same one that Taehyung gave you when he saw you around campus, the silent provocation that told you, and only you, that he really wanted to have some alone time right now. 

A sly smirk sprouted at the corner of his lips, and he leaned back against the couch. You followed his movements as he reached towards his pocket and came back with his phone, staring at you as he did so. The phantasmagoric white light casted odd shadows over his face as he unlocked it, taking a final glance at your expectant features before he started to type something. Once he was done, he locked his phone and placed it back where it had come from. 

Inside your purse, your own phone beeped happily. 

You licked your lips, trying your best to forge indifference as you reached for your device. You swore you could still feel his eyes still burning on you, impatient and deep, watching your every move with eagerness. 

[00:23] Taehyung: so glad to see that you came bby 

[00:23] Taehyung: do me a favor and meet me in the bathroom upstairs, will ya? Second door to the right ;) 

Yep, new plans: you would stay there a bit longer. 

Hammering against your chest, your heart seemed as if it was about to jump out of your mouth by the time that you turned your attention back to the couch. Taehyung, however, had already gotten up, and you had the chance to take a last glance towards his beautiful form as he walked towards the stairs. Jimin, from the couch, appeared to be as lost as they come. 

From the kitchen, the resounding complaint of the group you had seen before ruptured your hypnotized state — Yoongi had, in fact, kicked everything down. Taken aback by the carnality that permeated your chest, you locked your phone without typing an answer and leaned back against the wall, deciding it would be best to wait a minute or two before following him upstairs. Amongst your thoughts, a part of you was still judging whether you adored or despised Kim Taehyung, and the intoxicating effect he had on you. 

Finally, you decided to take the stairs. You wondered, as you opened your way through the ocean of sweaty bodies and spilling drinks, if you weren’t trying too hard to rationalize and catastrophize something that was actually very simple. It was a story with a start, a middle part, and a satisfying ending: you two wanted to fuck each other, you did, then you moved right on. No hidden feelings, no strings attached. That was it. Couldn’t get any better than that. 

Regardless, it wasn’t everything about that, and you knew it. It was about overhearing other girls talking as you made your way upstairs, complaining about how ridiculously hot he was, or about how he didn’t call them back after he gave them the best night of their lives. It was about having that steamy, trembling secret between the two of you. It was about knowing that yeah, Taehyung was crazy hot — and you could have that whenever you wanted. It was about hearing him complain about his friends, who told him that you’d never give him a chance, and seeing the delectable pleasure in which he vangloriared himself, knowing very well that you and him had a second life to share whenever suited. 

You reached the second floor with electric currents running through your veins, anticipation building like a tidal wave inside your abdomen. You two had never done something like that so close to so many people and, yet, you adored the idea even more. 

The cold metal of the door handle met the palm of your hand and you tried it once, twice, with no effect. After looking at the corridor and making sure that Taehyung was nowhere else to be seen — besides the fact that, if he didn’t manage to get the bathroom, he would surely text you a different location — you were left to assume that he wanted to know that it was you who waited at the other side. 

With a sigh, you took your phone out of your purse. Maybe your fingers weren’t as steady as you’d like them to be, but no one needed to know about that. 

[00:27] You: plz open the door thx

Expectantly, you placed your phone back and tried to overhear some sort of sound signifying that he was moving closer to the door — but the song was so loud that you could barely understand your own thoughts. The next seconds that you stood there, just waiting for him to open the door, had been the longest ones you had endured in your life. 

Eventually, however, the door creaked open. 

You gave one last, paranoid glimpse at the strangers in the corridor, but none of them seemed to notice that Taehyung hadn’t left the bathroom by the time that you came in, locking the door behind you. 

It was like stepping into a different reality. The lights inside the bathroom were absurdly bright when compared to the dim environment that expanded outside; the obnoxious song and chatter had instantly morphed into a muted exclamation outside of the door, only the reverberation of the bass making itself present. Just like the calm before the storm, there was a moment of tranquility between the instant that you locked the door, and the one that you saw him. 

As you turned around, dwelling in his proximity, you thought about a million things at the same time — about teasing him about his location choice, or maybe about how he must’ve been going through a drought, if he had to count on his covert booty call to get laid in a party. You thought about how gorgeous he looked, about how his eyes glistened in interest as he took a quiet step towards you, his roseate tongue coming out to lick his lips. 

Regardless, before you could say anything, Taehyung’s lips were on your own, attacking your mouth in a fervorous kiss. You whimpered in surprise as he pushed you against the closed bathroom door, his hands circling your waist as he squeezed your body against his. Your purse fell on the ground with a muffled sound, but you barely even noticed it. 

Taehyung had always been an intense kisser to say the least, but that night it was something else. That night, he was kissing you as if he physically couldn’t contain himself long enough to do anything else; as if all that he could think of doing was to feel the heavenly contact of your mouth against his, your fingers pulling on the strands of his hair. As he invited his tongue inside your mouth, Taehyung groaned and lowered his hands, squeezing your ass like he was about to lose every last ounce of sanity he had left in him. 

You sighed as he moved his focus onto your neck, placing open-mouthed kisses in a way that you knew would leave a mark the next day. “Someone’s excited,” you commented, slightly breathless. Your only response was another groan, and the rolling of his hips against you, where you could feel his cock, already semi-hard, pressing against your inner thigh. “Couldn’t even bother to take me somewhere else.” 

One of his hands moved up to your hair, pulling your head sideways so he could have a better access to your neck. “I need to have you now,” his deep voice came out muffled against your skin, the reverberations of his timbre propagating directly towards your center. 

“You’re starting to get more adventurous with this.” You bit down on your lower lip and he sucked your flesh, groping your ass once again. “Parties used to be so off limits to you.” 

Taehyung chuckled against your neck, moving back towards your mouth. He started making out with you again, his breath hot and heavy against your face, and you thought you could very well pass out at the level of craving that had built inside you. “I changed my mind.” He spoke as he leaned back. 

You smirked at his attitude. “We’ll end up getting caught.” 

“Aw, baby.” He pouted, looking at you with artificial pity. Okay, he could be kind of a prick sometimes. “You’re the one who’s worried. And you came all the way up here because you wanted to. You know I’m not one to insist.”

“I can leave, then?” You raised one eyebrow, fingers playing with the hair at the back of his neck. 

“You can, the door is right behind you,”  Taehyung told you, quickly losing interest in that conversation. “But something tells me you won’t.” 

You didn’t even try to respond, because there was nothing to be said: both of you knew what you were doing there, and the idea of walking out was just too ridiculous to consider. 

With a suspire, you watched as Taehyung moved his lips down your chest, stopping at the fabric of your blouse. 

“What if someone hears us?’ You suddenly remembered, heartbeat quickening at the thought. 

“What is it, baby?” He asked as his fingers worked on your buttons, exposing more of your torso. That slow pace of his was going to kill you one of those days. “You’re worried that people are going to find out about this? About us?” 

You opened your mouth to respond, but his chuckle — so deep and melodious — caught you off guard. 

“How scandalous, right? Y/N is not the pure little thing she makes herself to be,” Taehyung continued, finally opening your blouse and fully exposing your bra to him. He licked his lips at the sight, humming with delight. “Red lace? You really want to tease me.” 

You swallowed dry as the man took the fabric off your shoulders and gently placed besides the sink, above a towel. He could be so thoughtful sometimes. “Taehyung, I—“ 

“You’re such a little brat sometimes, do you know that?” he interrupted, eyes following his own movements as his hands circled your body, moving to unclasp your bra. And of course he got it right on the first try. “You came all the way up here just to get fucked, and now you’re worried that people are going to know about it.” 

You stared him down, a smirk already creeping up at the corner of your lips. “How does that make me a brat?” 

He chuckled. “Look at you, trying to play the naive card on me.” Another agile movement of his fingers and your bra was joining your blouse besides the sink. Taehyung sighed tentatively at the image of your exposed breasts, trying to imprint that sight into the back of his mind. “Pretending as if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing. You can drop the act now, baby.”

“I don’t—“

His mouth attacking your breasts was all that you needed to shut up and let him do what he went there to do. Overwhelmed by the sensation, you let out a gasp as his hand squeezed you, playing with your soft boobs as he moaned against your skin. 

“I love it so much.” Taehyung hummed as he sucked on your breasts, moaning at the marvelous sensation of your warm skin against his tongue. You had almost forgotten how much Taehyung ached to play with your boobs; how often he would squeeze them, suck them; find excuses to feel them against his body. Not that you were complaining. “And I love that it’s all for me.” He breathed out before attacking your other nipple. “All of this… all mine.” 

You whimpered at the contact, arching your back in a failed attempt to get closer to him. As much as you knew he was most likely just saying whatever he thought would turn you on — besides, you two had already agreed on a pretty open “relationship” —, Taehyung’s words expanded inside your chest, building a heat that seemed to suffocate you. Even if you knew it was bullshit, you liked to be called his. Ego strokes and all of that. 

“Taehyung…” There was only a thin wooden door separating you two from the outside world, and you couldn’t care less if they heard you calling out his name. That boy really did wonders to your anxiety. 

But he also liked to tease you. 

He moved away from your breasts and you almost — almost — cried out in frustration. 

Taehyung traced his kisses back to your neck, then to your jawline. You were going crazy with all that back and forth. “Baby, I’m not gonna lie, I understand where you’re coming from,” he said. “I like to keep this as a secret too. It’s so hot.” 

You almost forgot how to inhale when he aligned his face with yours, placing a pec on your swollen lips. “Yeah?” You asked, sounding as if you were in a daydream. 

“Yeah,” he agreed, breathless. Even if Taehyung tried his best to look as he was under absolute control, you knew that he couldn’t keep that front for too long. He was clearly turned on, and the hardness pressing against your thigh was all of the proof that you needed. “It’s so great to know that I have one of the sexiest girls on campus just for myself…” His hand trailed up your thighs, adventuring in the lands beneath your skirt. “And no one knows.”

You bit your lower lip, anticipating the contact of his hand against your core. “I thought you were the kind to kiss and tell.”

“Most times,” he mumbled, gifting you with another small pec. “Not with you. I like it like this. Having you when I want, how I want, and only you and I know.”

But you weren’t satisfied with his answer.  His hand did a turn and decided to make a quick stop on your ass, the feeling of skin against skin making your lower body tingle. “What’s so enticing about it?” You asked. 

He smiled. “Ah… many things.”

Your stare didn’t falter. “I’d like an exemple.” 

Instead of answering you straight away, Taehyung decided to take his sweet time. He leaned his head to the side and kissed you feverishly, growing satisfied at the small whimpers and suspires that echoed in between your mouths. His hands were all over you: on your ass, your waist, down your thighs and up your hips, where his eyes could not see. You only had your skirt and your panties on, and it was so frustrating to still feel him fully dressed against you. 

At last, Taehyung pulled away, placing his forehead against yours. As he spoke, you felt the tingle of his hands as they moved towards the hem of your panties. “I like seeing you walk around campus, knowing that you’re so sore from the night before,” he spoke slowly, his voice in a low vibration against your mouth. “And I know you don’t tell any of your friends about it. About how I fucked you so good that you almost cried, and that it’s the next day, and you can barely walk.” 

You hummed, closing your eyes. “What else?”

Much to your dismay, his hands left your underwear again, coming out to pull you closer. “When you send me those audios late at night,” he was breathing out hard then, drowning in those lewd memories. “Playing with your little cunt, crying out my name… shit,” he cursed. “How am I supposed to say no to that? So there I go, out the door, telling my friends that I’m gonna see this crazy hot chick and I’m gonna fuck her brains out…” he hesitated. “And I just get this... rush because they don’t know it’s you.” 

“And how do you know that I like any of it?” You teased. 

Taehyung chuckled at your question. Both of you knew that it was plastered all over your face, but he could keep up that little teasing if you wanted to. “Two reasons,” he said. “First: you do the same to me, or don’t you?” 

“I don’t recall,” you responded, forging innocence. Okay, maybe you did play the naive part a bit much. 

“Oh no? What a terrible memory you have.” He placed a strand of your hair behind your ear, his words hitting your skin in heated, libidinous waves. Taehyung was so close that you could count his eyelashes if you wanted to, his torso squeezed so tight against yours that you wondered how you even managed to breathe in that position. “It was just last week, baby. You called me to your flat after your roommate had left.” One of his hands went back to play with the hem of your underwear, fingertips feeling like lit matches against your skin. “You opened so wide for me, you were so wet already. You got so horny with just the thought of having my cock, isn’t that right?” 

Much to your surprise, your voice came out a lot more steady than you had expected. “Don’t flatter yourself, you don’t know that.”

Taehyung chuckled, placing his warm, swollen lips against the skin of your neck. “I don’t,” he agreed, digits pressing against your clothed clit. You knew he could feel how soaked your panties had become, so there was no reason to keep that up. Regardless, you kind of liked it. “But I do remember how much you wanted me that night, whining and begging me to fill you up with my cock. How many times did I fuck you that night, uh? Four? Five times? And you just had to keep quiet, because your neighbors might have been listening. That was so cute.” 

You sighed, your insides in knots over the tension you were sustaining. You hated him sometimes. Hated how good he was. “I wasn’t counting.” 

“I know, baby.” He swiftly pulled the fabric of your underwear to the side, his long fingers digging into your wet heat. Memories of them fucking you open flooded your mind, sending a shockwave directly through your torso and towards your pussy. “And this right here, baby, is the second reason. Look at this: you’re soaked.” His digits moved, teasing your entrance, and the sound was so lewd that you had to suppress a moan. “You’re always so ready to take me. I love that. You’re so good to me.” 

God, you were about to lose it.

With the force of then thousand warriors, you held back another less-than-graceful sound from escaping your lips. You knew how much Taehyung liked you being loud (something to do with the adrenaline of getting caught, nothing new to see here), and so you had to keep your cool. It wouldn’t be so fun if you just gave him everything he wanted. 

“So quiet all of a sudden.” His nose delicately trailed up your neck, his mouth meeting the angle of your jaw in hot, open kisses. In an attempt to ground yourself, your hands flew to his shoulders, nails digging through his shirt. You could still feel Taehyung’s fingers playing with your wet folds, seeing how much you could take before you were begging for them to enter you. You hated him. Or not. You didn’t know. “I know I leave you speechless, baby, but I wanna hear you too.” 

Strong and steady, his other hand met the curvature of your waist, pressing your body against his. In a mindless reflex, you perked up your ass at the contact, making his fingers slip closer to your soaking entrance. 

“Nothing? Baby, you’re especially irresistible tonight.” Taehyung’s eyes were somewhat dazed, unfocused and hooded. He appeared as if he was two seconds away from fucking you raw against the wall, and you seriously wouldn’t mind. “You know why I called you here?” 

“Because you want to fuck me,” you responded without missing a beat. 

“I do, of course.” He placed his forehead against yours, and you whimpered weakly as two of his fingers finally (finally!) made their way into your heat, stretching you nicely. “That’s it, baby, don’t hold back.”

Instead of answering, another slow, delicious moan dripped like honey from your tongue. Taehyung grunted, satisfied at your responses, and quickened the pace inside your walls; your eyelashes fluttering shut at the ambrosial sensation. He had told you once about how much he liked that part: knowing that you were getting ready for his cock, but already so eager to cum around his fingers. 

Did he tell you that while he fingered you inside his car? Yes. Did anyone else have to know that? Absolutely not. 

“You know what I was doing before I came here?” His question caught you off guard. 

You didn’t even know if you were able to answer for a second, but, happily, the word didn’t have any issue coming out. “What?”

He took a deep, sharp breath, curling his fingers inside you. You pressed your back against the door at the shock of his digits brushing against your sensitive spot, one of your hands flying to your mouth in a way to suppress a particularly loud exclamation of pleasure. “I was listening to Jimin complain about how much he wanted to have you in his bed tonight,” his voice came out in a harsh tone, full of spikes and pointed corners. “Over and over, like a broken record. He can be so explicit when he wants to. It’s unbearable.”

You bit your bottom lip, rolling your hip against his hand. Your body was starting to tingle, the muscles in your legs turning into jello, and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to hold it much longer. As you spoke, you noticed touches of bliss ornamenting your syllables, your words coming out with a bit more difficulty than before. “Oh, so you’re jealous?” You teased.

“Me? Never,” he was quick to respond, groaning at the feeling of your walls clenching around him; his cock throbbing painfully against the fabric of his pants. “I’m just… trying to change your mind.”

“My mind?” You echoed, only half-aware of that conversation. Pleasure was starting to build in alarming rates, and you were starting to lose your trail of thought. “I haven't even decided anything yet.” 

“After I’m done, baby, you won’t need to,”  his voice came out in a profound whisper, sounding like a sweet melody against your ear. “I’m going to fuck you so hard and slow, so deep,” he stressed that word, making your pussy throb around his fingers at the idea, “that you won’t want to have anyone else for the night. Only me.” 

It sounded a bit like possessiveness or jealousy to you, but, honestly, you chose not to pick that conversation for the night. It was probably some kind of acting on his part too. Besides, you weren’t interested in any of Taehyung’s friends, so he didn’t need to worry about Jimin, or anyone else, making a move — especially when he was fingering you so well that you were about to forget your name. 

“And the best part, baby, is that no one will even know it,” he continued, separating his fingers slightly so he could scissor you. Against your best judgement, your knees were getting weaker by the minute, the knot in your abdomen about to untie. “Just you and I. Just the two of us will know how much you begged to be filled up with my cock, how wet you already are just for my fingers.” 

“Taehyung,” you called out, hands tangling themselves in the roots of his silky hair. You moaned out his name again, your voice coming out in such a promiscuous tone that he felt as if he was about to cum on the spot. God, Taehyung loved hearing the effect he had on you. “I’m close.” 

“I know, baby,” he whispered against your ear. His voice was so hoarse, so permeated by desire, that you knew that he was holding back too. His cock was hard and throbbing against your legs, and every minor movement of your thigh against his erection was enough for him to lose his breath for a moment. “But I don’t want you to cum, not yet.” 

Again, he pulled away. 

Taehyung wanted you to complain, to whine about the lack of contact or the warmness of his body — and so, just because you knew that it was his plan, you didn’t do any of that. 

You didn’t say a word as he moved his fingers away from your wetness, his other hand coming down to grope your ass. You didn’t flinch when he looked you deep inside your eyes, guiding his fingers between your lips, watching as your mouth obediently took them in, humming as you sucked your own wetness, never breaking eye contact. 

“Fuck,” he cursed, drowing in the sensation of your warm tongue licking his fingers. You didn’t think that Taehyung was fully aware of the way that his hips had rolled against yours, fighting for relief. “You’re so fucking hot, it’s unreal.”  

And you knew that he said that praise to every poor soul that crossed his path, but it still managed to have some effect on you. Again: you were human, and Taehyung knew what the fuck he was doing. 

But so did you.

Before he could try and do anything else, you pressed your palms against his chest, gently pushing him a few steps away from you. Taehyung followed your lead, watching as you got down to your knees, facing his erection. 

In measured, lackadaisical movements, you pressed your lips against his covered cock, feeling its handness against your mouth. Air got stuck in Taehyung’s throat as he watched you, like a hungry lion, as you undid his pants and pulled them down, gifting you with the sight of his white boxers. 

Just because you knew he liked it, you moaned at the glorious sight of his big, heavy cock already so hard and ready for you; fingers caressing the tip of his member, where a small stain of precum already started to form. Taehyung was so on the edge that he hissed at the contact, one of his hands meeting the back of your head in a mindless impulse. “Don’t tease,” he warned. 

“Oh, so you can and I can’t?” You leaned your head to the side, and planted a kiss on his cock before looking up at him. May the heavens have mercy on you, because you never saw Taehyung so pissed off and turned on at the same time. “I think I could even make you cum like this if I wanted to. I’ve done it before.” 

“Don’t you dare,” he struggled to get out.

“What? You liked when I did that the other times,” you cooled. “Sometimes you didn’t even need my mouth.” 

He closed his eyes, trying to fight the moan that started to climb up his throat. “Stop.” 

“What? You don’t remember?” You asked, placing another kiss on his member, closer to tip that time. “When I let you grind against my ass in the library? You came just by humping me, pants and all.” 

With a cute smile, your hand squeezed his dick, before moving up and down, following its thick outline. Taehyung was dumbfounded, left to watch as your delicate hands worked on his erection with unbearable patience, his eyes glued to every action that you made — the fluttering of your eyelashes, the innocent gazes that you threw his way every time your lips met the cotton of his underwear. If you kept it up for long enough, he was sure he would cum all over his boxers. 

Still, the gods above had heard his prayers, and Taehyung watched as you pulled his underwear down. Without a second of hesitation, you moaned as your tongue licked him all the way from the base to the top, lips enveloping his crown as you sucked on it ever so slightly. 

“Oh, fuck,” he cried out, fingers pulling on your hairstrands. “That’s good, fuck.” 

You hummed, content at his reaction, and pushed him deeper inside your warm mouth, one of your hands holding at the base of his cock. Beneath your other palm, you could feel as the muscles of his thigh tensed up at the sensation. His lips open slighlty, allowing for a long, erotic moan to echo inside the bathroom as you started to set a pace, sucking him slowly, just like you knew it drove him mad. 

“You’re so fucking good at this, baby,” Taehyung groaned, unable to keep his eyes open for much longer. The vision of him was ethereal: head thrown back, mouth slightly agape, eyebrows forming an expression of sheer pleasure and concentration. You cursed your own eyes as they started to water, preventing you from watching him a bit further. “Oh, that’s right, just like that.. you suck me so well, fuck.” 

The pulsating, unsatisfied sensation of need between your thighs only grew, your walls clenching around nothing and your heart beating fast against your chest. You could taste as his precum leaked inside your mouth, his fragmented breaths and whines showing you that Taehyung also wasn’t made of steel. As much as you’d like to see him cum soon, you also needed to be taken care of.

After a particularly hard suck, you pulled your mouth away from his member, and looked up at him. The lack of contact was all that Taehyung needed to open his eyes and stare down at you, surprised at the interruption of his pleasure.

“Taehyung,” you tried your best to make your voice sound as pure and sensual as you could. His eyes widened slightly at the sound — no matter how hard he tried to make it seem like he was annoyed by that saint act of yours, you knew that it drove him insane. “I want you to fuck me now, please.” 

You watched as his face presented a thousand emotions at the same time, and then eventually settled on the cool, controlled dominance you adored so much. Another surge of pleasure ran down your body, much stronger this time, and the feeling of your soaked panties against your pussy was making you go insane with anticipation. 

“I love it when you ask politely.” He placed his hand on your chin, trailing your lower lip with his thumb. “Get up, baby,” he commanded. 

Without an ounce of hesitation, you did as you were told, letting your body be guided by his large hands. 

Taehyung turned you around and leaned you against the sink, positioning himself behind you. “Back to me, ass up,” he said, “Keep it like this, alright?” 

You nodded, unsure that you could say anything else. 

“Good girl.” Taehyung once again held your chin up, making you stare at your own reflection in the mirror for a second before your eyes traveled towards his. God, he was an absolute mess. In the best of ways. “I want you to look at it.”

Any second now, your legs would give out and you would crash down on the floor — or, at least, that’s the sensation you had. It was unbearable to watch as Taehyung took his time removing his shirt; then your skirt and your panties, dripping them down your legs one by one, his mouth so deliciously close to your heat that you felt like you could faint. 

“So pretty,” he mumbled to himself, watching your pussy with desire. “So fucking wet.” 

“I want to feel you, please.” You arched your back, throwing your hips closer to his. 

“Like this, baby?” With a glorious roll of his hips against yours, you felt as his cock moved in between your folds, his head only touching your clit slightly. The sensation alone was enough to make you perk your ass up at him, a motion that wasn’t left unnoticed by his part. 

He smirked at your reaction. “Such a pure little thing, aren’t you?” Taehyung’s hands palmed your ass, moving like snakes towards your waist, where they held you in place. Another roll of his hips and the contact of his dick against your clit made your knees buckle. “You’re so polite, just asking for my cock again and again… You don’t even notice how wet you get thinking about it, grinding against it. Isn’t that so?” 

You had no option but to agree, lowering your head to look at the marble sink beneath you. “Yeah,” your voice came out in a pathetic whine, but you couldn’t even care about it. You just wanted to feel him inside you. “It’s all for you, Taehyung.” 

“Good girl,” he praised, taking one of his hands to guide his cock towards your opening. Expectant, you held your breath, but he didn’t slide in just yet. “Just tell me what you want, come on.” Again, he leaned in and pushed your chin up. “And look at me while you say that.”  

Obediently, you did. Taehyung was a greek god then. Under the pale yellow lights of the bathroom, his lips were swollen and red, the lower one being bit lightly by his teeth; his entire expression permeated by lust as he dove into the sensation of his cock teasing your entrance. He stared at you like you were good enough to eat, his eyes coruscating with so much hunger that you couldn’t even think about anything else but him. No wonder you kept coming back. His entire presence was engulfing every fiber of your being. 

Maybe Kim Taehyung did have a golden dick, after all. 

“I want you to fuck me, Taehyung,” a sentence had never been so clear, so sincere. From the corner of your eye, you could see your own face, desperate and pleading, as you fumbled closer to his member. “Please. I need to feel you inside me.” 

With a hum, he kissed the nape of your neck. “Whatever my girl wants.” 

And, before you could even think about his words, your thoughts were broken as you moaned out his name, feeling as his big cock stretched you, hitting all the right spots. You had missed that sensation so much, of being so full of him, so hypnotized by the movements of his body against yours, that you didn’t even compute the shuddering breath that departed from his mouth, nor the curse that he had let out once he felt the warmness of your walls around his aching member. 

He thought he could lose his last ounces of sanity as he pulled out just enough to leave only his tip in, before throwing his lips against yours and filling you back up. Soon enough, Taehyung was setting a rhythm, unable to control his comments as he kept thrusting inside you. 

“So tight, baby,” he spoke in a whisper, almost as if you weren’t supposed to hear it. His face in the mirror was the most beautiful sight you had ever seen: Taehyung was so lost in pleasure that his features had morphed into an expression of sheer bliss; all of his concentration directed at the movements of your body, the way that your walls held him with so much desire. “You take my cock so well… Shit, you’re making me go crazy.” 

Taehyung’s breath quivered and he leaned his body towards you, fighting for balance. He had one of his hands on your waist, and the other was holding down to the sink, leveling his figure as he started to thrust into you in that different angle — just as slow, hard and deep as he had promised. 

You rolled your head back once he hit the right spot inside you, your moans going up an octave. “Fuck, right there, Taehyung,” you whined, barely aware of the volume of your voice. To hell with it, the music was too loud anyways. “There, right there, don’t stop.” 

“Here?” He groaned, thrusting in the exact place that made you cry out. “That’s it, baby, let it out.” 

And you wanted to prolong that moment for as long as you could, but, truth was, he had played around with you enough that you knew you wouldn’t last much. Even sucking his cock, feeling as he mumbled and trembled under your touches, had been enough to keep you turned on. Again: you were only human, and the paradisiacal feeling of Taehyung’s cock filling you up to the brim, hitting your sweet spot with forceful thrusts, was a bit more than you could endure. 

“Taehyung, I think I’m close,” you told him, feeling as your arms grew weaker beneath you. It was just a matter of time before your legs started shaking too. “I’m gonna cum.”

“Shh, that’s fine, baby.” He moved your hair away from your back, placing a trail of sloppy kisses on your shoulders. “Come on, cum around my cock. I want to feel you.” 

“It’s so big, Taehyung,” you moaned, closing your eyes in defeat. You could tell that your pleasure was already building up too much, too fast. You couldn’t help it: he was stretching you so fantastically that every part of you was on overdrive, the pent-up tension of the entire night culminating in one long, edging orgasm. 

“It’s all yours, baby, all of it,” he told you, guiding you towards your high. God, his voice was so hoarse, so sweet. “Cum for me, okay? And don’t hold back, I want to hear you.” 

Just like that, you came with a loud moan and the calling of his name in a repetitive prayer, walls clenching around him in a way that made him lose his grip on reality. You whimpered at the pleasure, that now was gradually subsiding, and lowered your body against the marble, feeling how cold it was, how different it was from the rest of the bathroom. 

“That’s it, baby, yeah… That was so fucking hot.” Taehyung groaned behind you, picking up the pace of his thrusts. He was moving you so hard that you could feel your hip bones being pressed against the corners of the marble surface, the dirty sound of wetness and skin against skin filling the ambient. “Look at all this… so wet and tight, even after coming so hard.” 

From the way that Taehyung’s movements started to get sloppier, you could tell that he was losing himself in his own sense of pleasure, getting closer to his own climax. “All of this… all for me,” he moaned out, eyes glued to the motion of his cock coming in and out of your dripping center. “You’re so good, baby. Fuck, I could have you like this forever.”

The pounding of his hips against your ass was getting so intense that you could feel tears accumulating at the corners of your eyes, fingers trembling under the weight of overstimulation. Taehyung had fucked you hard before, but you just couldn’t get used to how fantastic it felt. 

“I’m close,” he cried out behind you, his breath coming out in broken, tremulous expirations. “Can I cum on your mouth, baby? I want to see you swallow everything.” 

You nodded, mouth salivating at the thought. 

“Fuck.” He groaned. “That’s my girl.” 

Taehyung pulled away from you and you moved fast, getting back down on your knees as he guided his cock, so red and swollen, against your lips. 

You opened your mouth to accommodate him, taking his member slowly at first, thinking it would be better to adjust to its size. After that part was done — and Taehyung had already turned into a quivering mess above you — you proceeded to move your head, sucking his cock as hard as you could muster. 

“That’s right, suck it,” he moaned, buckling his hips forward. The tip of his cock touched the back of your throat and you gagged, presenting Taehyung with one of the most gorgeous views he had seen all night. “Fuck, yeah— Take everything, baby, come on.” 

You did, of course. You continued to suck Taehyung with a moderate pace — not so slow that it would kill him, but not so fast that it would kill you — and watched as he started to become undone under your touches. First, it were his trembling thighs, then the weakening of his grip on his head. You looked up at him with blurry eyes and watched as his lips fell open, moaning obscenities, and his eyes closed with intense concentration. It was just a matter of time before he—

“F-fuck!” 

Taehyung spilled in your mouth and you struggled to swallow everything, just like he had told you to, whining at the feeling of his cock throbbing and twitching in between your lips. The discomfort between your thighs had resumed, pulsating inside your core in a silent need, but you didn’t think you’d have the stamina to deal with it right then and there. 

You pulled your head away from his cock when he started wincing with sensitivity. With doll-like eyes, you met his hooded ones, glad to see the satisfaction and appreciation that was plastered all across his face. He always looked so good after sex, you realized, and you felt extremely satisfied to know that his fucked-out, blissful expression was all because of you. 

In a gentle motion, Taehyung placed his thumb on your check, cleaning a bit of his cum, and brought it over to your lips. “You missed this bit,” he said. 

You sucked his thumb clean without thinking twice, suddenly aware of how uncomfortable your knees felt. Above you, Taehyung smirked at the sensation of your mouth around his thumb, his other hand coming to place small caresses on your hair. 

After he removed his thumb from your mouth, you got back to your feet. It crossed your mind that your legs might give out eventually, but, thankfully, they seemed a bit more firm than you had anticipated. “Better?” You asked. 

“Perfect.” Taehyung kissed you, sighing against your mouth. He pulled away gradually, his body still moving a bit slow after everything you two had done. “You always are.” 

“Aw, how nice of you.” You smiled at his compliment, walking towards your pile of clothes. The bathroom was starting to get cold, and the afterglow of sex couldn’t keep you warm for much longer. “Always with the compliments.” 

He hummed in agreement, watching your naked body; your fingers holding that red bra he adored so much. “Any chance I could see you again this week?” 

An incredulous laugh ruptured your lips as you clasped your bra behind your back. “We just had sex, and you’re already thinking about the next time?” 

He shrugged. “I like to have a schedule.” 

“I’ll think about it.” Your skirt moved up your legs, all the way up to your waistline. From the corner of your eyes, you could see as Taehyung fumbled with his own pants, which he now cursed for being inside out. Seems like he was only thoughtful when it came to your wardrobe. “It’s not like we usually know when this stuff is going to happen.” 

There was a slight tremble in your fingertips as you reached for your blouse and placed it back on your body, but you decided to ignore it.

“I guess,” he mumbled. 

You stared at your own reflection in the mirror as you started to close your buttons, somewhat amazed by the fact that it didn’t appear like you just had had sex. Yeah, your hair was all over the place, and maybe your neck was a bit too red in a few spots, but nothing that a bit of time wouldn’t fix. Could’ve been worse. 

“Can you pass me some toilet paper?” You asked him, eager to clean the mess between your legs. There was no way in hell you were going to put your panties back on, even if the thought of going commando wasn’t exactly the most welcoming either. 

Taehyung was sitting on the toilet lid, putting his pants back, and simply nodded in agreement before doing so. “I’d like to know, though,” he insisted.

You smiled, taking a cheeky glance at him. “Since when you’re so needy?” 

He groaned. “I’m not needy, shut up” 

“Well… You have my number.” You responded, throwing the paper in the trash after you had finished cleaning yourself up. “Call me whenever you’re feeling like it, and I’ll see what I can do.” 

He pouted, clearly frustrated at the answer. “And what if you can’t make it?”

“Then you have two good hands to help you,” you answered simply, fingers working on adjusting your hair. The sound of his zipper closing echoed inside the cubicle. “Besides.. you can have this as a memory, if you’d like.” 

You threw your red panties at him, watching as his face grew interested at the piece of wet cloth in his hands. Taehyung sighed, tugging his shirt back inside his pants. “You’re killing me,” he complained. 

“Good.” You smiled, turning back at him. “How do I look? Presentable?” 

He examined you for an instant, taking in the details of your form. “It doesn’t look like you just got fucked, if that's what you’re asking.” 

“Great!” You swirled around, giving the mirror a last peek. You were getting suspiciously good at making it seem like you two never happened. “Have a nice night, Taehyung. Maybe wait like five minutes before leaving the bathroom. And don’t get too excited with the panties.” 

Taehyung got up and walked closer to you, your underwear safely guarded in his hands. You were positive he would have fun with it later. “You’re going home already?” He asked. 

“Yeah, you did a good job at making me tired.” The clicking of the lock was a pleasant reminder that no one tried to open the door during that time, so maybe your sexual shenanigans had been overlooked once again. “So don’t worry. I’m in need of a good night of sleep. I’m not spending any time with your horny friends.” 

Taehyung chuckled, leaning closer to you. “I was kind of exaggerating about that Jimin part for dramatic effect, but alright.” He placed a kiss on your forehead. “Good night. Thanks for the panties.” 

You laughed. “You’re welcome.” 

Just like that, you were out the door, and the moments you had shared in that bathroom with Taehyung had been placed inside a capsule. No one noticed you as you walked through the corridor, past the few strangers still around, and down the stairs, where the party had clearly lost its initial olympian proportions. 

Cups and pieces of paper were thrown all over the floor, and you watched as people stumbled around, trying to find some sort of balance against the walls. No matter how many Hoseok Parties you went to, you were always amazed at the way that they were quick to be set ablaze, but equally quick to burn off. It was like premature ejaculation, in the weirdest and saddest of ways. 

Still, you weren’t expecting to see a recognizable face at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Hyejin,” you called, surprised to see your friend around. “Thought you would’ve gone to bed with Hoseok by now.” 

Seeming as dumbfounded as you, she followed your movements as you walked down the terminal steps, finally reaching the first floor of the house. There was a weird shadow of discomfort casted over her features, and you thought it had something to do with Hoseok. “Uh… Not really,”  she told you. “I just want to go home, actually.”

“You and I both.” You placed one of your arms around her shoulder, guiding her towards the front door. “Let’s go, this place has already peaked, anyway.”

She suspired, her lips pouting. “Thanks.” 

A few minutes of silence expanded between the two of you as you walked out of the house and into the front lawn, where a sea of trash had already taken over a few chunks of grass. You didn’t know how or why, but someone had brought an inflatable pool, and there was only one solitary purple dildo swimming in it. What a sad sea creature, you thought, before your attention was pulled back to your friend.

Hyejin switched uncomfortably in your arms, hugging her own body in a way to shield herself from the gelid breeze of the night. You looked at her with care, watching as her face contorted at sight of the street lights, magnifying the odd expression that had taken over her. “Tell me what happened between you two,” you asked tenderly. “You don’t seem too happy about it.” 

Your friend hesitated and, suddenly, you felt bad for pressuring her. At the same time, you were worried that something bad had happened. “Yeah…  so… apparently he thought he was texting a different person,” she told you. You could tell that she was having a hard time speaking. “It was kind of a mess, actually. He said that in front of everyone. I’m glad you weren’t there to see it.” 

Suddenly, you recognized that expression as being pure, unshakable humiliation. That must’ve been an ugly moment, really, since Hyejin wasn’t one to break easily. The booze probably didn’t help her emotional state either. 

 “Hyejin, I’m so sorry. He really is a fucking idiot for treating you like that.” You squeezed her body against yours in an awkward sideways hug. She eased into your touch, shoulders falling under the weight of your comforting words. “That really sucks. We can find a way to kill him, if you want. I’d hide the body and never talk about it again.”  

Even if she chuckled at the idea, you could tell she wasn’t in the mood for jokes. “Yeah… I don’t think I want to talk about that right now.” She cleared her throat, hugging her own body with a bit more force. The car was just a few steps away from the two of you, and you were beyond glad that you had managed to find a spot so close to the house. ���Anyways… there’s something else. I went to find you earlier, when it all went down, so we could go home.”

You pressed your lips together, guilt hitting you like a punch in the gut. “Sorry, I was upstairs.” 

“Yeah, I realized that once I didn’t find you,” she continued. Hyejin’s voice was weak, her syllables slightly disconnected. She often spoke like that once intoxication and exhaustion joined in a horrible after-party dance. “I went up and searched around for you, but I… uh…” 

The two of you finally reached the vehicle, and you removed your arm from around her so you could move towards the driver’s side. You frowned at her hesitation, watching her over the roof of the car. “What is it?” You asked. 

“I needed to use the bathroom…” she trailed off. Her tone was almost inaudible. “And I…” 

You opened your purse, squinting your eyes to try and find the car key amidst the dimly-lit street. “And?” 

“The door was locked.” She gawked at you, eyes suddenly growing serious. You didn’t like drunk-Hyejin, with her unstable moods and abrupt expression switches. It was watching a horror movie sometimes. “Because you were in there.” 

Oh, you seriously didn’t want to have that conversation at that moment. 

Finally, you found the key and unlocked the car. The sound was like a gunshot through the night, your pulse starting to pick up the pace. You knew where she was heading towards now, but it’s not like she could be sure that it was you in there. You’d deny until the end of time. 

“What makes you think that it was me?” You questioned, opening the door. 

This time, she didn’t hesitate to respond. “I heard you.”

Oh. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck— 

Keep your cool. It’s okay. “I don’t know what you are talking about.” 

“You don’t?” She started to raise her voice, clearly pissed off. You two were arriving at stage two of drunk Hyejin: past the sad introspection, and into banshee level. “I had to pee on the disgusting bathroom downstairs because you were fucking someone in there! I had to wait twenty minutes in line! And you lied to me! You told me you didn’t have a dick appointment!” 

“Shhh! Stop yelling!” You asked, exasperated. The night was too cold and the streets were too empty. You just wanted to go home before someone heard you. All that it needed was one half-assed comment from Taehyung about him going to the upstairs bathroom, plus someone interested enough to connect the dots, and your little secret would be up. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, okay? Now, please, get in the car, you’re super drunk.”

Before Hyejin could protest, which you were sure she would, you sank down on your seat, running away from her judgemental semblance. The thought of just driving off in sheer panic crossed your mind, but you quickly ignored it. You couldn’t leave her alone in that place, especially in the inebriated state she was in. No matter how much you really, really wanted to. 

Your friend followed your lead and sat down on the passenger seat, watching as you closed your door and checked the mirrors, avoiding her gaze with all your might. She sighed. “I don’t understand… Why didn’t you go somewhere else for that? People need to pee, you know? Or, I don’t know, puke… or maybe even—“ 

You threw your purse on the backseat, sighing in exasperation. That conversation was the last thing you needed after that night. “I don’t think it matters right now—“

“It does matter! I could’ve gotten a urinary tract infection.” Hyejin banged the door by her side, and you could tell she simply wasn’t measuring her force right. She groaned, lazily adjusting her body on the seat. “Now, you have to tell me who it was. It’s the minimum you can do.” 

You almost choked on your own saliva.  She really was out of it. “Like I’d ever do something like that.”

Silence grew thick inside the car, falling above you like a blanket. Hyejin looked at you like you had just grown a second head, making sure that she wasn’t drunk enough to imagine you flat-out denying her an information so valuable. To be fair, it wasn’t like you to avoid questions or keep names from her — at least, not so openly. You knew that she wasn’t dumb, and that she could tell that something was up even in her intoxicated state. 

“You’re really not gonna say?” She tried again, still struggling to keep her speech tied together. It was only a matter of time before she calmed down and fell asleep, and so you wouldn’t have to deal with that subject any further. “You almost gave me an UTI, and now you’re not gonna say who you were with? I need to know if it was worth keeping the bathroom all to yourself, because I already told you, someone probably went up there trying to—“ 

“Shit, Hyejin! I get it, you, can stop now.” You clicked your seatbelt with a bit more aggression than necessary. “You’re drunk right now.”

You leaned over her and placed her seatbelt too, since you were pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to do it herself. Not with that poor movement precision. 

“And?” She pressed on as you moved back to your seat. “You’re going to tell me once I’m sober or something?”

You laughed, placing one of your hands on the wheel. “No, of course not.”

“Fine!” She crossed her arms dramatically and looked out of the window, pouting like a child. “I hate you for not saying.” 

“Well, I love you.” You looked at her, your own gaze navigating towards the window. Beyond the fogged glass, the house glowed in the most diverse colors, the sound of the bass reverberating inside your car like a distant pulse. You watched, heart clenching inside of your chest, as Taehyung stepped out of the front door with Jimin, his head hanging low and a smile at the corner of his lips. There was a volume at his front pocket, where you were sure he had tugged in your panties. “But now I think that we should go home and sleep. Let’s keep this conversation on hold.” 

Hyejin, however, wasn’t satisfied. “You know that I’ll find out eventually,” she said, still looking out of the window. “I always do.” 

You chuckled, turning on the engine of the car. On the other side of the street, the two boys took the opposite direction, leaving you two to stare at the open road before you. “Well, I’d love to see you try.”