#i had spent all night painting the bastard

[sinnamonbani]

omg guys

have some crisp Jschlatt portrait study off the presses.

[zaldritzosrose]

Lose Control (Aegon x Niece!Reader)

Summary: Aegon knew it would never work. But did he care? Of course not. You were one of few members of his family who didn't look at him like he was a failure. Was it love? He didn't know. But he never felt whole without you.

(Based on Lose Control by Teddy Swims)

TW: She/Her pronouns, canon-typical incest (uncle x niece), afab reader, alcohol consumption, alcoholism, oral (f receiving), fingering, semi-public, innuendo, profanity.

Words: 2,985

kēlītsos = little cat, kitten

I apologise now, but this isn't a 'happy' ending.

Something's got a hold of me lately. No, I don't know myself anymore.

You were off limits, Aegon knew that. The fact had been drilled into him by his mother time after time. His niece, the only one who looked at him with some modicum of love or affection. He didn’t know if you felt the same, but he could pretend every time you would smile at him, or your hands would linger against his just a moment longer than needed.

But how could he not want you? You were beautiful. He didn’t care about the rumours that surrounded your parentage. Those dark curls, eyes so brown they could be mistaken for black. All the things that people used to paint you a bastard, he found to be the most beautiful things in the world.

His thoughts were consumed by you, even when you weren’t around. Everything reminded him of you.  The more he thought of you, the more he remembered he couldn’t have you and the further he sank into his cups. 

The day you left for Dragonstone with your mother had broken him beyond belief. Wine and whores barely fill the void you left behind.

Feels like the walls are all closin' in. And the devil's knockin' at my door, whoa… Out of my mind, how many times. Did I tell you I'm no good at bein' alone?

Aegon stumbled back into his chambers. The third night this week that he’d spent drowning his sorrows in some dingy tavern. Word had come that your mother was returning to King’s Landing with you and your brothers. The petitions for the seat at Driftmark were to be heard, and your brother Lucerys’ claim was being questioned.

Aegon would see you again, and it terrified him. 

He was embarrassed of the kind of man he’d become in your absence. A drunk, chasing whatever skirt he could. Fear set in, knowing you’d see him like this.

The morning of your return had come, but Aegon couldn’t bring himself to leave his bed. He was a mess in so many ways. The scent of wine still lingered on his breath and skin from the night before. Sun streamed in through his window, and he quickly sunk back under his sheets.

But his peace was short lived, the door to his chambers slamming open and the harsh words of his mother filling the room. Aegon groaned, it wouldn’t be the first nor the last time his mother would ever berate him this way. But he was in no mood for it.

The sound of her admonishments faded to muffled noise as Aegon tried to rub the sleep from his features. But his actions seemed to only antagonise her more. Heavy limbs rolled from his bed, gripping the sheet around his body as he stood.

His mother’s tirade stopped at his movement, her words faltering.

“I will not apologise, for it falls on deaf ears. Now if you don’t mind, I fear I require a bath.” 

Aegon grumbled, wanting nothing more than to escape Alicent’s harsh words.

He ignored anything else that came from her lips, walking away and towards his thankfully, already filled bath.

I lose control. When you're not next to me (when you're not here with me). I'm fallin' apart right in front of you, can't you see?

You didn’t want to be here. None of your memories of the Red Keep were particularly fond. Well, save for a few. The times spent with your uncle, Aegon, would always bring a smile to your face when you thought of them. When he would sneak to your chambers, cakes in hand, demanding you come to the gardens with him. Why?

Because he missed you.

Back then, you thought little of it, simply thinking your uncle was being kind, as an uncle should be. But when you think of those moments now? Heat filled your belly and a blush bloomed on your cheeks. The evenings spent curled up next to him beneath a tree in the royal gardens, lips sticky from the cakes he always brought, his arms wrapped tight around you and your head on his chest. Those moments had seemed so innocent then.

The reactions of your mother told you now, that they were not. The way your mother had demanded you stop sneaking out in the evenings with him – how spending time alone with any boy in such a way was unbecoming. 

But Aegon was the only one who didn’t tease you about your dark hair and eyes – you knew the rumours well enough. Instead, he told you how pretty you were. Comparing your eyes to embers and your hair to the finest chocolate. 

Now, you stood at Jace’s side, listening to your mother talk to some lord or another. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t tried to sneak off to find Aegon.” Jace whispered, only earning an eye roll from you. Your brother was one of few aware of just how much time you had once spent with Aegon.

Luckily for you, he’d never told your mother. As far as Rhaenyra was concerned, the moment she’d forbade you from spending time with your uncle, you had stopped. Instead, you had simply hidden your meetings better. Swearing your brother to secrecy when he caught you one night.

You ignored Jace’s comment because no answer you gave would keep that smirk off his face. Finally, after what seemed like the longest time, your mother turned and gave you and your brothers permission to spend some time to yourselves before the petitions. You didn’t miss the sideways glance Jace gave you as you hurried away.

I lose control. When you're not next to me, mm-hm. Yeah, you're breakin' my heart, baby. You make a mess of me.

He was washed, dressed, the alcohol feeling like it was seeping out of his skin as he wandered through the corridors. He had no destination in mind, wanting nothing more than to crawl back into his bed. But he also had no desire to listen to another of his mother’s verbal lashings against him . And even more so, he was terrified of seeing you.

Would you hate him as he is now? Would you be embarrassed of him?

Aegon was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the footsteps coming towards him, his eyes trained solely on the stone floor before him. So, when he collided with the soft form of another person, he was knocked near off balance. As he scrambled to stay upright, he was greeted with a very familiar head of deep brown waves.

“Uncle?” 

Your voice. A voice he had imagined hearing time and time again for the past six years. But when you said his name, he finally met your gaze. The faintest of smiles finding his lips, while his eyes remained just a little glazed from the wine he’d already consumed.

You were here. You were here and you were as beautiful as ever. The deep red of your gown makes those warm curls even deeper in colour. It was only when he felt your hand on his arm that he realised he hadn’t spoken a word.

“Do I render you speechless still?” you smiled; your hand rested on his forearm.

“Always, kēlītsos.” He smiled, watching you blush at the name.

Kitten, so called for the way you always used to curl up next to him, safe under his arm. A sweet name that now had your cheeks hot. It was the way he said it, voice lower than you remembered. But you could smell the faint scent of wine on his breath, and you now realised that the stories of his love of alcohol were true.

Six years had changed you both in more ways than one.

Problematic. Problem is I want your body like a fiend, like a bad habit. Bad habits hard to break when I'm with you.

Aegon hadn’t paid attention to a single word spoken during the petitions. He could care less about who inherited Driftmark. His eyes never left you. He didn’t care who saw him staring. He didn’t care if you saw him staring. Seeing you again had awoken every feeling for you he’d once had. And then some. 

He’d ignored his mother when she demanded he leave the wine alone. He couldn’t handle court sober, never mind having to stay away from you. Now, the room swayed just a little, but the fog on his brain was a welcome distraction from you.

The petitions had gone as well as expected – if seeing Lord Vaemond beheaded was expected. The whole family was on edge, but Aegon was comfortably in a wine induced calm.

So, when you walked in, arms linked with Jace, he had little control of the expression on his face. Disgust at the sight of you so close to your brother, a closeness that had once been reserved for only him. He filled his cup again, no amount of wine in the world would likely make him feel better now.

You sat in the only available seat, between Jace and Aegon. You tried to catch your uncle’s gaze, but he seemed to be looking anywhere but at you and it made you feel ever so slightly hurt. Had you done something to upset him?

Problematic. Problem is when I'm with you, I'm an addict.

The supper ended swiftly the moment your brother hit Aemond, provoked of course. The two princes had never been close. You stood with your mother; fists clenched as you watched Aegon pin Luke to the table. There was no love lost between the uncles and nephews, but seeing Aegon treat Luke that way infuriated you.

You stormed from the hall, ignoring the shout of your mother. It was only then that Aegon released Luke, shoving the boy away and drunkenly hurrying after you.

He’d fucked up and he knew it. 

He could hear the clack of your boots on the stones, and he knew where you’d be going. The gardens. Your haven, one you once shared with him.

“I don’t appreciate being followed, uncle.” you called out, stopping just short of the entrance to the garden. 

Aegon was quick to stop behind you, the wine making him unsteady. But he wasn’t going to miss this chance to have you alone.

“You are drunk, Aegon.” 

The accusation, while true, hurt coming from you. Embarrassment flooded him as he tried to find an excuse. But the words went silent on his tongue. He was drunk, yes, but not as drunk as you seemed to think he was.

“It is a common occurrence for you now, I hear. Wine and whores?” Your voice wasn’t as angry as he expected, but having you know such things about him made him sick.

“Nothing more than distractions for a life that is quite tedious.” Aegon replied, doing his best to hold your gaze, blue meeting brown for the first time truly in six years.

“And what makes your life so tedious, I am sure there are many who would revel in the life of a prince.” You answered, turning to continue your walk to the garden, knowing he would follow.

And follow he did, wanting nothing more now than to be in your presence. A presence he’d missed. A presence he’d craved for six years. Even if you seemed frustrated.

“You know exactly what…” he snapped back, the wine loosening his tongue just a little. There was a chance this would be the last time he’d see you, knowing the state of the family, and he wasn’t going to waste a moment.

“Six years without you, kēlītsos, has been a very long time.” 

You stiffened at that. Was he blaming his problems on you? You stopped dead, turning on your heel to face him, watching as he stumbled when he stopped short of colliding with you.

“And you think it has been easy on me?” Your words came out quieter than you thought, your anger failing as you saw the sadness in his eyes, eyes that had once seemed so bright now seemed sallow and hollow.

“I did not want to leave. My home is here, with you.”

Aegon froze, chewing on the skin of his lip. Any anger he’d felt slipped away almost instantly. You hadn’t wanted to go. Those words sparked the smallest ember of hope in him. Maybe, just maybe, you felt as he did.

“I have spent every moment of those six years missing you.”

He heard nothing else, the wine in his belly fuelling his emotions beyond his control. His rough hands finding your cheeks, pulling you to him as he kissed you. The kiss was messy but reciprocated. Mere seconds passed before you curled a hand into the fabric of his shirt and pulled him tight against you. A kiss filled with years of love, passion… and lust. Aegon’s hands moved from your cheeks to your waist, pressing his body against yours as he backed you towards a nearby wall. Thankfully the gardens were quiet in the evenings.

You only pulled away to catch your breath, remembering quickly that Aegon had been drinking. As had you, but Aegon had consumed far more than you had.

“You are drunk, Aegon…” 

“Not so much that I am unable to think clearly.” He replied, wanting nothing more than to kiss you again.

His hands played with the fabric of your gown, keeping your body pinned between his and the wall. He couldn’t let you go, not now. Not without knowing if you felt as he had all this time.

“Tell me you don’t want this, and I will go.” He whispered, his forehead now resting against yours.

You wanted to tell him you didn’t because it would be easier down the line. Easier to lie and break his heart now than be truthful and have to leave him again. But you did. By the gods, you did. While you’d loved him for longer than you could remember, love was not on your mind at this moment.

“I want this…I want you. I always have.” Your breath fanned across his lips as you spoke, body inching closer on instinct. 

Aegon closed the distance, his kiss gentle though his hands now gripped your waist hard. The red fabric now fisted tight in his hands as he slipped his thigh between your own. Your body responded naturally, heat flooding you as his lips slid down to your jaw then your neck. He knew he couldn’t go so far as to take your virtue, but he needed something.

And I need some relief, my skin in your teeth. Can't see the forest through the trees. Got me down on my knees, darlin' please, oh…

Your breath hitched as he bunched your gown in his hands, fingers pressed against the fabric of your small clothes. A touch you’d only dreamt about. Wondering what it would feel like to have him touch you so intimately.

The reality had your mouth dry and your flesh searing. Hips canting to meet the deft movements of his fingers. His face buried in your neck as you sighed out in pleasure. You shouldn’t be doing this, and you knew it. All you could focus on was pleasure, not right and wrong. Your own hand soon found the hard length in the front of his breeches, palming him slowly.

Aegon wanted nothing more than to feel you. To commit those soft sounds to memory. To feel your skin on his.

“Aegon…” you breathed, your hands finding the mess of silver waves atop his head.

His name had never sounded so perfect, and he wanted to hear it again. His hands kept a grip on your waist as he dropped to his knees before you, ignoring the confused glance you shot down to him. You soon had your answer when his nose brushed against the fabric of your small clothes, his hand gripping your thigh as he lifted it over his shoulder.

“What are you-“ your words fell silent as he mouthed at you through your undergarments, his name a moan falling from your lips.

Your hand found his hair again, wanting nothing more than for him to keep going. And when his fingers tugged the fabric aside, bearing your flesh to him, all sense was lost.

“So delicious, my sweet girl,” he cooed, licking a hot stripe between your folds.

No man had ever touched you this way, and you wanted no other man but Aegon to touch you this way again. A dream, of course, but one you wanted so desperately. And he lapped at you like a man starved, groaning against your skin at the taste of you, the sound enough to have pleasure shooting up your spine.

And soon the knot in your belly snapped, hands tightening in his hair as you panted his name. Aegon only stopped his ministrations when you pushed him away. With a final kiss to your inner thigh, he stood.

“You are mine, kēlītsos, and you always have been.”

I lose control. When you're not next to me (when you're not here with me). I'm fallin' apart right in front of you, can't you see?

Morning had come. You didn’t remember returning to Aegon’s chambers but that was where you woke. Wrapped in his arms and feeling safer than ever. It would not last. It never did. Shouts from outside the door told you that. And the door crashing open, revealing the furious face of your mother made it crystal clear to Aegon.

You were off limits. He knew that. He’d hoped it would change. But when morning came, the harsh words directed at you by your mother told you it never would. And his dreams become nightmares as you leave him again.

I lose control. When you're not next to me, mm-hm. Yeah, you're breakin' my heart, baby. You make a mess of me.

[diejager]

@warenai gave me the juiciest idea.

Draw Cw: smut, porn, prostitution, P in V, creampie, jealousy, handjob, mating press, voyeurism, tell me if I missed any.

part 2

There was a silent understanding between the three of them after that whole fiasco, Ghost and Soap demanding answers from their captain on their own time. Ghost confronted Price in his office that night, body still hot and bothered from your live but wracked with cold sweat from finding out that Price was your third, highest donator. Price hadn’t expected him, neither did Price expect him to find out about his little secret, the thing he spent his money on, but when Soap stopped him outside of the base, he wasn’t surprised then. Ghost had told him about everything, how both he and Soap were members of your OnlyFans, devoted and loyal, only using the site to watch you.

Whether it bothered Gaz that they kept having silent conversations through side glances and open staring, he hadn’t voiced his confusion or curiosity, he stayed outside of this struggle to catch your attention. For all they knew, only the three of them knew you and enjoyed the content, spending their nights jerking off at your sweet voice and beautiful body dressed in all kinds of things. Gaz seemed none the wiser, acting as he usually did, smiling gently, taking care of his strict skin routine, trimming his moustache and caring for his favourite cap.

Yet, he seemed so energetic today, exhuming happiness and giddiness while the others looked dejected, shoulders slumped lower and sighing disappointedly. It was suspicious, for Gaz to act out of character, especially after your announcement of an anonymous winner of your draw, choosing at random one of your patrons to host a live with, letting them fuck you as they dreamed to. Unfortunately, you hadn’t told the public to protect the winner’s identity until the live, you would contact them directly for a day and time.

They seethed in silence, a storm of jealousy stewing in their guts while Gaz smiled and laughed to his phone, eyes glued to his screen and fingers tipping away as if he was in a rush to answer the person he was messaging. It went on like this for a while, a week before Gaz asked for a few days of leave, packing his rucksack with clothes and toiletries with the prettiest and newest clothes he had. Soap had teased him about leaving and dressing pretty for a date, that he’d been texting the girl who caught his heart for a wile now.

They forgot about Gaz after he left, happy for him and curious but not involving themselves into his business, until they got opened up your live after they got the notification about it starting in a few minutes. The watched you smile, wave at the camera, manicured nails gleaming under the soft, yellow light of a hotel room. You changed the location of stage, a comfortable looking hotel room with a queen bed and silken sheets. The highlight of this live - like every other - was you, dressed in a pretty, satin shirt fitting your dark navy teddy, the same shade under warm lights.

You sat on the bed, legs open and flashing the dark patch of your underwear, darkened with slick from earlier foreplay with your guest —the lucky bastard. You made the same introduction, a smile and wave, followed by welcoming them with your stage name, but this time, you reached out for someone off screen, fingers locking with a caramel one, thick fingers with calloused pads, the person who won the draw was lean but still muscular, his arms and thighs curved and abdomen hard. He wore a familiar mask —a skull painted balaclava.

“This is GazCan,” you pulled the man down to him hands and knees, pressing kisses against his gleaming chest, lips wandering up his throat and he’s masked cheek, “He won this year’s draw.”

They knew the balaclava, how could they not when they wore it before as a team, one singular squad fighting towards one goal — it was the Ghost team mask. This was no coincidence, it all fit in with their situation: Gaz had been overly enthusiastic and happy for a week, his sudden ask for days-worth leave and all the neatly folded clothes and skin care.

This winner was Gaz. They were watching Gaz finger you, pumping two of his fingers into your slick cunt, drooling over his palm for everyone to see and hear, the lewd and wet sound of his hand. They watched Gaz fuck you raw, folding you in half, knees to your ears and feet dangling over his shoulders as he snapped his hips, pounding you into the hotel bed and whispering filthy things into your ear. Your swollen folds puffing around his cock, hair trimmed and clean, veins bulging out as he drove in, were in full view of the camera, letting them watch how well Gaz was breeding you.

They boiled with jealousy, being forced to watch one of them feel you, taste you, fuck you. Gaz made you sign for them, mewls and keens rising high from how well he pleasured you, the pointed tip of his cock hitting your spongy cervix and veins rubbing against your g-spot. He was a mix of gentle sex and domination, keeping his hands on you and bending you to his liking, manhandling you to fit his wild fantasies and you liked it.

Despite seeing someone they knew fuck you, that didn’t stop them from coming, spreading their cum over their cock and jerking out the rest of it against their bed and desk. It drove them wild thinking that they could’ve been the one filling you up with their load rather than Gaz, his white jizz bubbling out of your twitching cunny and rolling down your perky rim.

“GazCan, is it, sergeant?” Price cock his brow, lip pursed and arms crossed, he looked so stern as he stared Gaz down.

“Captain,” Gaz smiled back, shamelessly comfortable with his date being shared in the briefing room, then he turned to Ghost, “Ghostie,” and to Soap, “SexiSoap, not exactly subtle.”

Part 4

Tag list: @warenai @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @tallmanlover @distracteddragoness @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @konigsblog @havoc973 @im-making-an-effort @cutiecusp @ladyof-themoon @yourdaydreamerfan

[beenbaanbuun]

halloween w/ choi jongho

so bunny found yet another thing to hyperfixate over… this is sooooo my-older-brothercore of me🧍🏻‍♀️

genre - nsfw

warnings - switch!jongho, switch!reader, bunny!reader, ghost!jongho, groping, desperate!jongho, mention of creampies… i think that’s it

not proof read (it’ll do it later but i’m a lil busy now!!)

“i hate you,” you splutter out as your boyfriend struts into the room, draped in his halloween costume that he’d spent so long trying to keep a secret. you hadn’t understood why he’d kept the idea under lock and key when you’d been so eager to show him your pastel pink bunny costume with the ears and tail to match. the dress you picked out was just on the sexy side of innocent, and jongho had fucked you in it the very same day you showed it to him. he’d been so eager to get his hands all over your costume, and yet you hadn’t been allowed a single glimpse of his.

you can see why.

the tactical gear fits him well, covering his body in a thick layer of padding that you want nothing more than to feel pressed against your spine as he fucks you from behind. it’s surprisingly realistic, from the thick khaki kevlar to the fake magazines in each of the pockets; even the name tag boasts an all too familiar callsign. you’re barely able to rip your eyes away from those five letters to look at his face, covered with just a balaclava for now, the rest of his face covering gripped tightly in his hand.

but even with his everything but his eyes covered you can see the smirk he wears clear as day. his pupils glisten with mischief and one of his eyebrows is cocked just enough that the thick, painted material covers it. the bastard, you think to yourself. of course the cocky little shit would go and do something like this.

“you don’t like it?” as much as you’d like to hear that thick mancunian accent come from jongho’s mouth, you’re happy he doesn’t attempt it. it probably would’ve put you off a little; given you the ick to end all icks. besides, his own voice is far prettier to you, the soft cadence of his teasing heading straight to your pussy, which clenches around nothing. what did you do in your past life to be cursed with such an evil, incredibly attractive man as a boyfriend.

“you know i like it,” you spit, petulant and irritable as you fold your arms tightly over your chest, “and i hate you for doing this to me!”

“doing what? making you wet?” jongho smirks, just watching the way his words make your brain short circuit. he’s cocky enough without the costume, and yet somehow it’s made him worse. you suppose it’s character accurate in a way; you can only hope he doesn’t start making awful puns halfway through the night.

“you’re annoying,” you roll off of the bed, pretty pink thigh high’s hitting the floor with a thud as you manoeuvre your way over to the dresser where your heals lie. normally you’d rather die than go to a party in anything but your comfiest of sneakers, but the grimy brown shoes would clash horribly with your outfit. the pink mary janes fortunately aren’t too uncomfortable, and you suppose you have a big strong man to prop yourself up on if needs be. giving him the satisfaction of you clinging to him all night would surely make him unbearable, but you can cope with a few hours of over the top flirting if it means your feet are rescued from a grizzly fate.

you bend over to fiddle with the buckle, unsurprised by the gloved hand that makes its way to the swell of your ass. the skirt has already risen above the crease in your thigh, but thick fingers push it higher, desperate to get a glimpse as the pretty pink panties you’re wearing underneath. there’s no doubt in your mind that he can see the proof of what his costume has done to you; the little wet patch that sits at your crotch feels particularly cold as he reveals it to the room. there’s a low grunt from him as his fingers press into your exposed flesh and you can’t help but swell with pride knowing that he isn’t the only one able to perform some sort of sexual-tension based torture.

you stay in that position for just a second longer than you need to before shooting up to stand once more. his hand remains steady against your ass, the muscles in his arm tensing and relaxing as he kneads it like some sort of stress ball. part of you is tempted to see where he takes this; to see whether he’ll push you over the dresser and fuck his cock into your awaiting hole. the other part of you wants nothing more than to push every single one of his buttons. a couple of seconds pass as the two sides of your brain go to battle, and as you push his hand away with a giggle, careful to brush your own fingers against the tent in his trousers, you can tell that the latter has won.

“we have a party to get to, right?” every ounce of innocence you can muster finds its way into your voice as you turn to face him. there’s a hint of trouble behind the thin veil of excitement the words wear, one that you can tell by the look in his eyes that he hears clear as day. good; it was never your intention to hide your plan from him. you want him to know that you’re up to no good. to have to sit at that party and watch you tease him over and over again with no way to fix it. you want the tension to build until there’s no other option than for him to take you into the bathroom, or out front to his car and fuck you into next week. you can already imagine the way his voice cracks as he comes up with some unbelievable excuse as to why the two of you have to leave early, the way his hands cover his boner as he stutters out apologies to his dear friends.

its almost too delicious.

“don’t you just want to stay home, honey?” you can hear the desperation in his voice already; it shoots straight to your core, “don’t you wanna take advantage of this costume?”

“don’t you want to show it off?” you counter, “surely you didn’t put all that effort into becoming ghost just to rile me up, right? i know yunho will be gushing over it, baby. don’t you want to soak up their praise a little?” you lay it on thick, blinking up at him with a twinkle in your eye as his adam’s apple bobs up and down in his throat. the poor thing looks desperate, bless him. you lean in a little closer, watching as his eyes shift down to your cleavage; it makes you feel like you have all the power in the world in the palm of your hands.

“i’d rather soak up your praise,” he says as he reaches a hand out to where your nipple pokes through the soft material of your dress. you push it away, lacing your fingers with his own gloved ones and giving him a reassuring squeeze. you hope the tiny action is enough to let him know that he will get what he wants… eventually. “please baby,” his voice is as strained as the cock in his pants. he sounds beautiful, “let me fuck you, won’t you?”

“and here i thought soldiers were supposed to be patient?” you purr, “be good and i’ll let you cum inside.”

[daycourtofficial]

I got cursed like Eve got bitten - part X

Pairing: Azriel x Rhysand's sister!reader | WC: 1.5k | Warnings: none

Summary: reports of a rare powered fae popping up in Illyria send Azriel and Rhysand on a journey through the past, unraveling a truth they thought long buried

Previous part | Masterlist

The next morning, you came down the steps, entering the dining room to find your High Lord at the table. He sat, buttering a croissant when he noticed you. “Good morning.”

His voice was low as he greeted you, raising the croissant in your direction. You looked on in surprise, not sure what to make of his presence.

“Morning.” You elongated the syllables, not really sure how to take in his presence. You had spent two weeks here by this point and saw him daily, however the conversations lasted no more than thirty seconds before he ran off quickly. Something about his presence unnerved you, and it wasn’t until now that you had to sit with it in the silence. It was strange - he felt so known to you, like watching the sunset every night - you always know it’s going to happen, but when you see it, it’s like a brand new experience.

“I hope you don’t mind my company, Feyre is occupied this morning. I figured we could spend the morning together.” 

You nodded, a bit hesitant in your movements as you moved to sit a few seats down from him.

The silence settled like a blanket over you two before his throat clearing disturbed it. “How have your meetings with Feyre been going?”

His voice was strained, and you were mentally scolding yourself for opening up to Feyre. Usually he asked you this question in passing, stopping you in the hallway to check in. Now as he sat at the opposite end of the table, you felt trapped here with him. It’s not that Rhys had to like you - by all means, you’ve had coworkers or tavern regulars you couldn’t stand, but you found his silence these few weeks to be odd. When he showed up in your village, it felt like he really cared about your well-being and training you.

Neither of those things had been on his radar the past few weeks, though.

“Fine, I suppose. Like I’ve said before, I’m not entirely sure how it’s supposed to go, but yesterday I made progress.”

His eyes lit up, and you narrowed your own. He seemed surprised at your progress. Did Feyre not tell him about yesterday? His gaze on you was so boyish and excited you almost laughed - he looked nothing like the egotistical bastard the Illyrians you knew had painted him out to be.

In the time you had been here, you had wondered where the truth lay with their words - were the High Lord and his court the vermin they were said to be? Could the High Lord really read minds? You thought about if he really could, not thinking too much before screaming very loudly in your mind, watching Rhys intently. He didn’t move at the loud screaming, so if he could read minds, maybe he could turn it on and off at will.

“What kind of progress did you make?”

“I’m not sure how to describe it, I um- I felt really nervous and then I felt okay. Feyre and Azriel said they felt something, but I’m not sure what they felt. They didn’t say.”

He nodded, his violet eyes watched as you loaded your plate with eggs and sausage. “But they felt something, yes?”

You nodded, chewing your eggs before answering. “It was something, they ended things pretty quickly afterward, which was fine by me. It tired me out.”

He continued watching you eat, making you a bit uneasy before he cleared his throat. “Have you ever played chess?”

You kept your face neutral as you told him, “no, I have not. How do you play?”

-

He walked through the rules with you, telling you what each piece meant, how they moved, and even told you some half decent strategies for a beginner. The two of you ran through a mock game where he allowed you to win, and you knew because you were making the worst possible moves to see how he’d react. He had a decent poker face, but when you placed a piece in a terrible spot and he got a little cocky, one of his brows arched. Throughout the game you sprinkled in ‘accidental’ smart moves, leading him to tap his finger on his chin. 

You smiled as you checked his king after several disastrous moves, beaming with pride. “I’m ready - let’s play for real!”

He chuckled, but you continued. “Come on, don’t go easy on me. I can take it.”

Hands moved across the board, pieces moving back into place. You even misplaced your rook to let him correct you. You let the game linger a bit - not wanting to give him a completely easy game, but still throwing it nonetheless. You played with just enough competence for him to see potential in you as a player.

When the game had finished, after Rhys checked you in forty-three moves, you asked, “how about a wager? I’m getting the hang of this, I think I could beat you.”

You watched his lips twitch in delight, looking down as he reset the board. “I don’t think it’d be a fair game. I have been playing for five centuries.”

You shrugged, unbothered by the time he’s spent playing. “And I just learned a few minutes ago. I’m sure there’s something I can do you’ve never seen before.”

His grin didn’t falter as he said, “if I win, you’ll try to show me what you did with Feyre and Az.”

“And if I win, while I’m here I get put on your line of credit so I can shop in Velaris.”

He leaned forward, his ring-clad hand fitting into your own. His skin was soft as he shook your hand, a small itching feeling taking over your inner wrist. “Deal.” You pulled your sleeve back just enough to see the knight piece there, the black ink shining as you rotated your wrist before covering it once more. 

A knight. A piece of unexpected maneuvers.

Your eyes flicked to his shirt, wondering where his bargain tattoo laid itself and what it was.

“White moves first, no?”

You picked up a pawn, the small piece a winged male with a sword raised, placing it for your first move.

-

“Check.”

You wanted to laugh at the crease in his brow as he took in the placement of your piece. You had him cornered, forcing his hand to leave his king undefended. He tried to keep a neutral face, but you could tell he was not used to losing at this game - much less in twenty moves. 

“And you’ve never played before?”

“Not until our practice game earlier.”

He grimaced, his eyes looking toward the pawn you had used in the first move staring down his king. The whole game he had been off, performing a strange strategy. You were half-convinced he couldn’t actually read minds with the way he played - his defensive strategy was so far from your strategy, it allowed you to check much faster than you anticipated.

He grumbled as he leaned back in his seat, but something about him felt off. Something in your chest felt heavy as you looked at him, some deep sadness permeating your insides. You looked at him, cocking your head before looking away, the feeling dissipating slowly. You looked back at him, the sadness returning. 

“What’s on your mind?”

Your voice startled him from his grumbling before he shook his head, the feeling in your chest swirling with something new. Fear, perhaps. 

He tapped his fingers against the table, a quick rhythm. “Nothing.”

You knocked over one of his pieces, causing him to look at you. His violet eyes were wide and searching, so different to the stories you had heard of him all your life.

His presence in your chest felt devastating, as if his world were crumbling around him. 

“I can feel you.”

His hand dragged his face, stopping halfway at your words. “What?”

“You feel.. sad. “

He sat up straighter, his hands moving to the table in front of him. “Have you been able to feel anyone else?”

His tone was serious, causing you to stutter out, “no, no never. I’ve felt the things I did with Feyre and Azriel but I’ve never.. Felt someone like this. I mean I could feel when people cried or were angry, but I’ve never been able to feel something that didn’t have a visible cue.”

He stood up, standing in front of you, his hands on your face. “So you’ve never felt this before with anyone here?”

You shook your head, fear creeping in at his tone and how drastically he changed. He nodded, pulling his hands from his face. He turned, his steps rushed as he walked out of the room, nothing to note his farewell.

Permanent taglist: @vanilla-seabass @cyrygher @lees-chaotic-brain @topaz125 @chessebookgirl @fides25 @lady-of-tearshed @ashbatz @fxckmiup @lilah-asteria @justvibbinghere @daughterofthemoons-stuff @mybestfriendmademe @heartless-tate @tsunami-of-tears @idrkwhatthisisimsorry @olive-main @azrielsmate3 @pit-and-the-pen @durgenyx @dee-writes-smut @chairofchaos @thelov3lybookworm @berryzxx @throneofsmut @kennedy-brooke @prythianpages @itsswritten @acotarxreader @milswrites @the-golden-jhope @hannzoaks @secretlyhers @tothestarsandwhateverend @sarawritestories @chxosangxl

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Azriel taglist: @brieflyclassymortal @thisiskaylin @magicstrengthandcourage @panther-girl-124

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

WEEWOO IM HERE FOR THE EVENT!! (also smth I noticed, you can't copy paste your moots @ from one post to another, bc they don't receive the notif;_; I checked my mentions for your @ and uh- nope)

ANYWAY "nights spent in" with Leona pls (or Ruggie or Kalim or Jack or Jamil 💀💀) I just want a lazy night with takeout and cuddles and looking at the city/town from the hotel or room balcony in peace but I also need this frigging degree-

Nights Spent In; Leona Kingscholar

Content; Fluff, so much fluff, gender-neutral reader, romance

Word Count; 650+

Author's Note; I came up with a whole meal for this and I want everything. All of the food mentioned is North Indian vegetarian food, except for Leona's. Best of luck with that degree, Soru!

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

You were lounging on the sofa on the balcony, a light breeze coming off the waves helping cut most of the heat from the day as night slowly painted the sky in a deep navy. Honestly, you could fall asleep right here, since you were warm and very comfy. Count on the royal family of the Sunset Savannah to spare no expense, even when it came to their balcony furniture for the smallest of their vacation homes. 

Speaking of the Kingscholars, Leona had said that he was going out to grab you both dinner, which would have shocked anyone else, but he put in the work when it came to you. You were the exception. Of course, though, he expected something in return, which was usually either using you as his pillow or giving him a kiss… or several until he was satisfied with how fast he could make your heart flutter. Smug bastard…

“Hmm, I went through all the trouble of gettin’ you food and here you are nearly passed out,” he sighed, having sneaked up on you. But he sighed, putting the food down.

Leona leisurely walked over to you before promptly laying on top of you and resting his chin on your shoulder, trapping you. He let out a long sigh and bumped his head against yours.

Taking the message, you started scratching behind his ears and hummed. “I thought I had to pay you back after we ate,” you mused.

He chuffed, but his tail was slowly waving back and forth in a relaxed manner, he was only putting on a show. “You can pay me now and then,” he grumbled, looking up at you and raising a brow expectantly.

You knew that face, it was the face that he made when he wanted a kiss but didn’t want to say it. “You can get the rest of it, but after we eat-” your stomach made a low rumble underscoring your statement. “Before I decide to eat you instead,” you joked, and poked him in the ribs to prompt him to get off you.

Leona rolled his eyes, but yielded, he wanted his damn kisses sooner rather than later. Plus the last time he had decided to lay on you and prevent you from getting food, you had indeed bit him. Even though you didn’t really leave a mark, it still stung a bit, and he would rather not get teased by the others if they found out it had happened again.

“What did you get by the way,” you asked. Whatever it was smelled divine. Your stomach gurgled even louder, sounding more akin to some beast demanding food.

Leona chuckled a bit at the commotion, but brought the food out. “Went to a small place, family run and owned,” and he brought out several containers of food. He looked at his order, “Malai kofta, raita, paratha, mattar paneer-”

You saw one other container and raised a brow.

“Rogan josh,” he answered, swiping the container away from you.

You rolled your eyes at him, but you were more than happy at the food he had got, and knew that he left a hefty tip even though he would deny it. Not only had he made you, and your ravenous stomach’s, night, but also the restaurant owners’ as well. 

Now content and full of food, the both of you laid in bed, your legs intertwined. “Thanks for getting dinner,” you hummed, feeling the sleepiness from earlier returning.

Leona turned his head to you, and rubbed circles on your hip, slowly. He was wearing the same expectant look again. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” But there was no smugness, Leona was full and just as tired as you, so he was more like a tired kitty looking for some love.

You shuffled over and placed a gentle kiss to his lips, and he let out a tired sigh, pupils dilating into round saucers. “I love you,” you placed another kiss on his lips before placing one on his scar and lingering there.

He bumped his forehead to yours, closing his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know… I love you too.”

~~~~~~~

Tags; @eynnwwyjth, @inkybloom-luv, @savanaclaw1996, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii @leonistic

[eunseoksimp]

Omg can you please write part 2 on infatuation where a third person get involved and wonbin losing his shit , you can end it however you like , I love your writing and i am always looking forward to your post, and also no pressure at all🫶🏻

hi anon, sorry this is so late (it was literally sitting in my drafts for three months). at first i had no intentions of writing a part two tbh, but i thoroughly enjoyed writing this up, as you can tell by the wc!

Pairing:Toxic! Park Wonbin x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst

Warning: wonbin is possibly the worst human being alive, reader may be slightly irritating with how flaky her emotions are, manipulation, gaslighting, strong language, wc is somehow 17.5k.

read part 1 here.

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

the cafe hummed with the gentle murmur of conversation, a soothing backdrop against the backdrop of your melancholy. you sat alone at a small corner table, your presence subdued amidst the vibrant surroundings. outside, the soft drizzle of rain painted intricate patterns on the windowpane, mirroring the intricate turmoil of your emotions.

yunjin arrived, her footsteps light but purposeful as she navigated through the cosy cafe. her eyes immediately sought out yours, a flicker of concern crossing her features at the sight of her friend's solemn demeanour.

‘you look like shit,’ yunjin deadpanned as she slid into the seat across from you. although you couldn’t quite blame her for her bluntness.

the bags under your eyes ran deep, a hollow emptiness emboldening your irises. your skin was pale, and cuts lined your lips from the sheer amount of time spent biting them.

you were a shell of your former self. soulless, vacant, moving around without purpose. you had lost your will to continue on, all because you had lost the man you loved.

it was pathetic really, how much your heart ached for him, how he was the one you called out for in the middle of the night when you awoke from your nightmare.

his heart belonged elsewhere now, to someone who wasn’t you. and nothing in the world could have prepared you for how gut wrenching it would be.

tired of your moping, and your lack of responses to her texts, yunjin had invited you out for an informal hangout, something more chill, just to get you to stop wallowing in despair and inhaling fresh air.

‘has that bastard called you?’ she spoke up again after a bit, acrylics tapping on the wooden table, eyes narrowing.

you shook your head, unable to articulate your reality. that maybe wonbin really was gone now. it had been two weeks since that day, the day your spirit was crushed, the day your love was harshly rejected.

despite all of this, you desperately wanted him to reach out to you again, just to hear his voice, to be able to smell him again, to have him in your arms, fingers tangled in his hair.

it was torturous, agonising, like a cruel joke that you were the only one not in on. how did things change so suddenly?

‘i swear if i see him i’ll kill him for you. i’ll cut his dick off and make him eat it,’ your friend was visibly upset for you, but a sick part of yourself worried for wonbin, not wanting anything bad to happen.

‘don’t,’ you say softly, picking at your nails, the familiar feeling of your throat tightening quick to accompany your already somber mood.

‘you still love him?’ yunjin sighs, reaching forward to take your hands in hers and giving it a squeeze. there were no traces of judgement in her voice, just pity.

it was a pathetic situation. a guy had strung you along for a year, told you sweet lies, pressed kisses across your face and looked you directly in the eyes as he said over and over again that he loved you.

you were blinded, unable to see the obvious red flags. it wasn’t normal to continue to stay with someone who gets a new girl. you must be stupid.

but what made things worse, was the fact that you still loved him. you yearned for him, a part of yourself still within his clutches.

you didn’t even realise you were crying until yunjin leaned forward, thumbs swiping at the tears.

‘you deserve more than him love. someone who will cherish you, and only you. he used you, like a prick, none of this is your fault,’ she had moved her chair next to yours now, cradling you in her arms as she patted your shoulder.

what could be more than park wonbin? what would be more radiant, more daring, more intoxicating than he was?

‘i just want him,’ you sob, and she soothes you by rubbing circles on your back whilst you try to stop hiccuping.

‘it’ll get better, i’ll make sure of it.’

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

2 weeks has slowly morphed into a month. 28 days without wonbin’s touch, without his presence in your life.

you wish you could say that things had gotten easier, but time was not a healer of your broken heart. the more the days went by, the more you suffered. every night you chewed your lip as you stared at his contact information, willing him to finally call you.

to do something. to not treat you like you no longer existed. to go back to being the one that you had fallen in love with.

but no matter how much you sobbed, or you suffered through your days with a weight on your chest, he wouldn’t return to you.

‘we’re going out. to a party,’ yunjin announces as she waltzes into your room, giving you a kiss on the crown of your head before she settles into the spot next to you on your bed.

‘party? yujin i-‘

‘oh no you don’t get a say. you’re coming, that’s final,’ she cuts you off, and you sigh in defeat, knowing that she was too stubborn for you to be able to win this battle.

seeing as it was already decided that your evening would be spent surrounded by sweaty bodies and excessive levels of alcohol consumption, you mourned the night you had planned of having, consisting of cheesy romantic comedies and various tubs of ice cream.

it was silent, yunjin busy tapping away on her phone, fingers moving furiously as she quietly spoke out what she wanted to type, sometimes pausing to think about her response.

‘that guy i was telling you about last week, you know mark lee-‘ she starts talking, but her eyes were still glued to her phone, and another buzz of her phone let you know that she was clearly still in the middle of texting.

‘sorry love,’ she apologises, eventually putting her phone down and now giving you her undivided attention, turning so her body was now facing yours.

‘anyways you remember mark lee right? the one i’m talking to. his best friend is having a party tonight and i thought it would be good for you to come.’

‘you really like him?’ you take note of the way her face lights up just by mentioning his name, suppressing the smile creeping on her lips, eyes looking down at the hands folded in her lap.

you wondered if this was what you looked like to others whenever you talked about wonbin.

‘i like him, and i have a good feeling he likes me too.’

‘then that’s all i need to hear. let’s go to that stupid party,’ you’ve barely got your words out before she’s squealing, flinging her arms around your neck and climbing onto your lap, pressing wet kisses all over your cheeks.

‘i promise you won’t regret it. he has this one friend, donghyuck, and i need you to meet him asap,’ she pressed one last kiss to your head, before sliding off of your legs and returning back to her spot on the bed.

‘i don’t want anyone other than wonbin.’

‘i’m not asking you to date him silly. he’s just a really good guy and i think he’s the energy you need right now.’

you hum in response, a question at the tip of your tongue, but it’s like you’re too scared to utter it. and so you go back and forth in your mind, wondering if it’s worth mentioning it.

‘spill it. you look like you’re putting yourself through torture,’ your best friend knows you too well, spotting the telltale signs that you were anxious, down to the chewing of your bottom lip and the twiddling of the ring on your finger.

‘do you think- um- do you think that, you know-‘ it’s hard to get the words out, with the way your heart was pounding ridiculously in your chest, thoughts racing at a million miles a minute.

yunjin scoots a bit closer, putting her hand on your knee, clearly able to see that what you wanted to ask was troubling you. 

‘go on babe, you can say it,’ she encourages you, patting your knee.

‘um- do you think wonbin will be there?’

her face softens, a look of sympathy flashing across her face at your question. 

‘i don’t think so.’

you’re not sure whether that’s a good thing or not. there was nothing that could prepare you to come face to face with park wonbin again without breaking down. but there was still that fleeting feeling; you wanted him back.

‘let’s forget about park wonbin tonight,’ yunjin says as she pats your knee twice, before standing up and heading towards your closet to look for your outfit for the night.

forget about park wonbin. could you do that?

the question continued to circulate in your mind, even as yunjin pulls you into the chair in front of your mirror to start your makeup, clearly not a novice as she primed, and patted and set your face. even as she managed to convince you that the black mini dress that she shoved into your arms was ‘the perfect length’, and that you were too young to be worrying about modesty.

‘you look amazing. fuck park wonbin,’ she spins you around to face your vanity mirror and you blink twice, taking aback by the person staring back at you. It had been months since you had even bothered to care about your appearance, your self confidence depleting to dangerously low levels, as you wished that you lived in an alternate world, where your beauty, just like ning ning’s was enough to keep wonbin from walking away.

but for the first time in a while you felt a surge of confidence, a newfound poise about who you were, about what you could be.

‘you deserve to have fun tonight. to remember what it feels like to be happy.”

she finishes your look with a pair of silver earrings which you’re sure you’ve only seen her wear once due to how precious she regarded it to be. yet here she was, without a thought, handing them to you.

‘thank you, yunjin,” you murmur, your heart swelling with gratitude. ‘i don’t know what I’d do without you.’

she grinned in response, pulling you into a quick hug. ‘that’s what best friends are for. now, let’s go show the world just how fabulous you are.’

you make your way to the front door, the sounds of the night already beckoning. grabbing your clutch, taking one last glance in the hallway mirror, the woman staring back at you looked poised, ready, but inside, you knew you were teetering on the edge of something unknown.

stepping out into the cool evening air, yunjin linked arms with you, a gesture of solidarity.

‘just remember, tonight is about you. about having fun and forgetting all the bad stuff. you’ve got this.’

you nod, taking strength from your friend’s unwavering confidence. together, you head towards the car, the promise of the party ahead a beacon of hope. as the engine roared to life, you let yourself believe, if only for a moment, that tonight could be the beginning of something new, a step towards healing and rediscovery.

the city lights blurred past as yunjin drove, chatting animatedly about the party, filling the silence with her infectious enthusiasm. by the time you arrived, a flicker of excitement sparkled within you, a small flame of anticipation amidst the shadows of her past.

turning off the engine, your friend takes one more good look at you.

‘fuck park wonbin.’

‘yeah, fuck him.’

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

forgetting park wonbin seemed to be a more difficult task than you had thought. all through the night your eyes were busy, sifting through the crowds, vigilant and curious as you swept over every single corner of the party you were in, in order to see if he would turn up.

it wasn’t like you were doing it on purpose, you were sure that the amount of time spent in the car reassuring and psyching yourself up were done through your genuine attempts of bravely moving on. but, as predicted, you no longer belonged to yourself. a part of you was still with wonbin, and your being desperately ached to feel whole again, with him.

‘having fun?’ you almost topple over as yunjin flings herself onto you, her arms latching around your neck as she presses kisses up your neck. you knew she wanted to be by your side the whole night, yet seeing the way her and mark were exchanging extremely intense eye contact from across the room, you pushed her towards the equally shy male and told her to enjoy yourself.

now she had returned, with a few unfamiliar faces with her, each of them waiting to be introduced as they watched the interaction between you and your best friend.

‘hey, i’m mark lee. it’s really nice to meet you,’ he’s the first to extend his hand towards you when yunjin pulls away, a bashful but nevertheless bright smile on his face as you greet him back with a firm grasp of his own hands.

‘it’s nice to meet you too. trust me, i’ve heard quite a bit about you too.’ you’re both laughing as yunjin turns red, reaching forward to playfully hit your shoulder.

‘this is my best friend donghyuck. super annoying and popular but he’s a great guy.’

a boy a couple inches taller than you steps forward, till the both of you are a few inches apart and you almost forget your composure as you stared at him. his honey kissed skin appeared ethereal, illuminated by the dim light cascading around the space you were in, beauty spots littering the expanse of his face. jet black strands fell elegantly in soft waves over his forehead, styled to perfection but still looking so effortless. his eyes were deep and warm, a shade of brown that held a quiet intensity, drawing you in.

the  jacket he had on was immediately slipped off and delicately placed around your own shoulders. how did he know you were feeling cold?

‘nice to meet you, i’m donghyuck.’

there was a charm that he possessed, one that captivated you and made you want to pay attention to whatever he was saying. such beauty was paired with genuine geniality, and you wondered how you had never come across him before. he was clearly popular, judging by the looks thrown at him by multiple different girls parading past him, but he never gave them much acknowledgement or seemed smug about it.

‘thanks for the jacket by the way,’ you express your gratitude towards him, offering him a small smile which he returns, all while yunjin shoots you a wink, pushing mark towards the middle of the dance floor and leaving you two alone.

‘it’s my pleasure. i couldn’t have you freezing to death at my party,’ you both laugh at his comment and you admire the way he is able to slip into the space next to you with ease, a wide grin on his face as he nudges you slightly.

maybe it was the small sips of alcohol you had taken, or the way the music seemed to surround you, the bass of the speakers vibrating in a steady rhythm that mimicked your heartbeat, or how the lights had paled to a vibrant blue and dancing across the walls, casting a kaleidoscope of hues over the mingling guests, but something about this atmosphere made you feel alive. your blood was pumping, everything moving in slow motion as if it was a scene in a movie.

‘this is good,’ you tilt your head back slightly, revelling in the moment, and exhale as if you were letting go of all of the problems you had prior to this. you hear a low chuckle, not needing to open your eyes to know that it was donghyuck.

‘glad you’re enjoying yourself. you look even prettier when you’re relaxed,’ your eyes flash open, trying to decipher what it was he was trying to do. but there was no ulterior motive detected by him, simply sipping from the beer can in his left hand, observing other partygoers.

as you begin to talk you notice how good of a listener he is, attentive to every word spoken, his whole body turned to face you as a show of his concentration. oddly enough, you feel safe, like you could say anything and he would take it all in. he had a way of making you feel at ease, his laughter infectious, and the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, making her heart warm.

‘to be honest i wasn’t that excited to come tonight. life hasn’t been the kindest to me and i would have preferred to curl into a ball and watch 10 things i hate about you. however, it’s nice being here, forgetting about things for a while.’

‘it’s always a good idea to escape the mind. being stuck there for too long makes it like a prison that will trap you in the same darkness till you can break free.’

you nod in agreement, slowly digesting his words. you were not a stranger to being stuck in your own mind, the past two months being a testament to it.

it’s silent for a while, but nothing about it is uncomfortable. there is a serene sense of contentment, two people who feel they’re in the right place at the right time.

‘there’s something about you,’ he says after a while, that intense stare trained back on you, and you fight the urge to cower away from it.

‘is that a good something? or a bad one?’

the question is left unanswered for a time, hanging in the air and over your figures. time didn’t stop for anyone, but tonight it appeared to slow its momentum, just for you.

‘good, of course.’

you chuckle, holding your hand out for a sip of the beer he seemed to be glued to. but he just shakes his head, disappearing from your side for a second just to get you a fresh one from the cooler. when he emerges again he’s gotten rid of his empty bottle and replaced it with a new one which he sets down on the counter as he works to get yours open first.

you thank him, raising the glass to your lips, the cool liquid slipping down your throat with ease. you gulp almost half of its content down, the taste slightly bitter and tingling your tastebuds but you push through.

donghyuck laughs at the way your face scrunches, your lips pursed as you swallow your last drop. ‘not the biggest fan of beer?’

‘it’s sour and lowkey gross. i prefer cocktails.’

‘your wish is my command,’ he makes a show out of giving you a quite dramatic bow, his left hand folding to his shoulder, and then he straightens up his posture and gestures towards a corner of the kitchen that you hadn’t noticed at first, a cupboard line with a few different types of bottles.

‘there’s tequila, smirnoff, ooh thought i finished that bottle of malibu. take your pick,’ he steps aside as you ponder over what type of drink you felt like having before settling for a passionfruit martini.

‘good choice,’ he tells you, taking you a bit by surprise when he asks for your permission to lift you up to the countertop to watch him make your drink. it’s more comfortable than it looks, and you happily swing your legs back and forth, finally feeling the effects of the beer you had chugged a couple minutes prior, a lot more talkative.

you find yourself enjoying his company a lot more than you thought you would and make a mental note to thank yunjin for pushing to make this all happen. it had been a while since you had taken a step out of your wonbin-centred universe and enjoyed conversation that had nothing to do with him.

for a moment, the shadow of park wonbin faded, replaced by the brightness of this new connection. donghyuck’s presence was like a balm, soothing the raw edges of your heart. the party continued around you, but in that corner, it felt like you were both in your own little world.

as the night wore on you both found yourself  outside on the balcony, the cool night air a refreshing contrast to the hellish warmth generated from all of the other bodies packed together.

the stars above sparkled like distant promises, and the city lights swindled like a million unspoken dreams. you close your eyes for a moment, soaking in the serenity of the night.

‘you know,’ donghyuck said after a while, his eyes fixed on the skyline, ‘there’s something special about nights like this. it’s like the word slows down and for a moment, everything just… makes sense.’

he’s about to vocalise your thoughts perfectly, and you nod in agreement. ‘yeah, i think i know what you mean.’

‘can i ask you something,’ donghyuck’s voice cut through the gentle murmur of the night, his tone carrying a weight of earnestness that shifted the atmosphere around you. his words hung in the air, a quiet intensity that demanded your attention, drawing your gaze to his face illuminated by the ambient light of the balcony.

you turn to him, curious and slightly apprehensive, yet undeniably intrigued by the change in his demeanour.

‘can i have your number?’

donghyuck sees the way your mouth opens, shock painted on your features, knowing enough to sense a rejection and he interjects, sensing your hesitation.

‘i’m not asking you out or anything, trust me. i just think we would be good friends. i like talking to you,’ he reassures you and you see sincerity in his eyes, a genuine desire to connect without any ulterior motives.

he was a great guy, and you were sure that in an alternative universe where both the name and sight of park wonbin had no sort of effect on you, the possibility of him having any sort of romantic feelings towards the end of the night wouldn’t have scared you as much. but this was the real world and your heart and mind were far too broken to entertain the idea of someone else taking over your life again.

‘yeah,’ you finally managed, your voice betraying a moment of vulnerability. ‘i’d like that too.’

relief washes over donghyuck’s face, a small smile tugging on his lips.

‘i don’t just give my phone number out to anyone you know. consider yourself lucky,’ you joke, in an attempt to ease the small amount of tension that had found itself between the two of you since you had met, hoping he wouldn’t take too much offence to your reaction and taking the unlocked mobile device out of his hands to fill out the contact information.

‘i’m sure i am.’

‘how are you getting home?’ he asks when his phone is finally back in his possession, saving the information on his phone before putting it down and turning his attention back to you, awaiting an answer to his question.

‘eager to get rid of me are we?’ you quip, raising an eyebrow in false disbelief and even making a show of crossing your arms across your chest and pushing off of the railing you were leaning on so you could be standing directly in front of him. he mirrors your body language, shaking his head, rapidly trying to reassure you.

‘i just want to make sure you get home safely.’

although this task proves to be quite difficult, given that yunjin has retreated to mark’s room for the night due to her less than sober state, and every other person that was around had also been drinking a sizeable amount. even trying to get a taxi at this time was in vain, given that it was quite late and nobody was around the area.

donghyuck has his eyes glued to his phone screen, bottom lip caught between his teeth. he raises his hand just to scratch the back of his head and you can see the cogs in his head turning, figuring out a way to approach the situation.

‘i mean you could stay over. i can take the couch and you would be able to sleep in my bed,’ he offers, and you feel bad because as much as you would like for him to get some good rest after the chaos of hosting a party all night, it was the only viable option.

he searches your face for confirmation and can tell how torn you are, ‘it’s fine, i promise.’ 

‘it’s fine,’ he repeats.

so even though it kills you to see him have to take refuge on the semi-hard couch in the middle of the living room that still had remnants of the party that was going on not even two hours before, you follow him up the stairs as he leads you to his room, checking to see that you’re behind him before opening the door.

‘got some spare clothes for you to change into here. um the bathroom is free for you to use too, i’m sure there’s some cleanser in the top cabinet to wipe off your makeup. anything else?’ your heart warms at how accommodating he’s being, giving you his clothes, allowing you to use his things, and even taking his bed.

‘i’ll leave you to get changed.’

‘wait, hyuck,’ you stop him just as he’s about to leave and he turns around, leaning his body onto the now half opened door. ‘thanks, for everything.’

‘my pleasure, sleep well princess,’ he flashes you a smile and then he’s gone and you can hear the soft thuds of him descending down the stairs, talking to who you assume is one of his housemates.

you hate to appear nosy but curiosity takes over you as you examine the things in his room. michael jackson vinyls, posters of a few indie bands, tame impala being the one that caught your eye first, an impressive collection of accessories. everything was just like he was, cool, chic, and a little playful.

his clothes are a little big for you, but you find comfort in the way it swamps around your frame, and it smells just like him. you’re surprised at how clean his bathroom is, a questionable amount of both feminine hygiene products as well as makeup wipes, micellar water and even some cleansing wipes.

‘charming,’ you thought to yourself, picking out the things you need, noting how a lot of it was fairly unused, before starting your bedtime routine.

discarding the used cotton pads and closing the lid of the bottle of the micellar solution, you close the tap, doing a quick once over of yourself in the mirror. the hand towels laid out neatly on the side are used to dry your damp hands and fold it neatly before walking back into his room.

it was gratifying, slipping into some clean sheets, basking in the warmth it provided you as you sank further and further under. but, as you expected, it was hard for you to actually fall asleep. you lay on your back, staring at the ceiling willing yourself to cave in to the restlessness you were feeling. yet try as you might it just didn’t work.

sighing, you turn over to look at the time on your phone that was charging on the bedside table. 3:02am and there were still failed attempts of getting you to sleep. groaning, you decide that perhaps some chamomile tea, or maybe even some warm milk could aid you.

it’s dead silent and you’re afraid of waking anyone up so you result in creeping down the stairs, on your tiptoes to make the minimal amount of noise you possibly could. apart from a couple of creaks in the floorboards it was relatively easy.

‘are you alright?’ donghyuck’s voice startles you, even though he’s only whispering and your hand automatically flies to your mouth to stifle a scream.

the lights in the living room are dim, the tv on albeit low in volume, but it’s not hard to tell that despite all of this he’s not comfortable. the spare sheets he was using were tossed to the side, and the constant rolling of his neck indicated that, as you thought, sleeping in that position was unpleasant.

‘can’t sleep?’ you ask him, and he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck as he sits up a little straighter. he reaches for his glasses, something you weren’t aware he wore and he perches it onto the bridge of his nose and running a hand through his hair.

‘i knew i shouldn’t have listened to jaemin about getting the cheaper couch. the expensive ones are pricey for a reason i guess,’ he jokes, but all you can do is feel bad. you can tell he wants to lighten the mood, to try as much as he can to not let it weigh on your conscience, but all it does is make you feel worse.

‘sleep with me,’ the words are out before you can even consider how it could be construed in the wrong way and the way his mouth hangs open makes you want to die of embarrassment.

‘not- no i meant- not like that,’ you’re stuttering, stumbling over your words, trying to correct your minor mistake.

‘i just meant i can see how uncomfortable it is sleeping out here, your room is big enough for the both of us to share.’

‘oh no, i don’t want to-’

‘hyuck please. you’re not making me uneasy in any way i promise. it’s your room anyway,’ you cut him off because you know exactly what he was going to say. from the small amount of time you spent with him you could gauge how much of a gentleman he was, and his efforts of being as respectable as possible didn’t go unnoticed.

‘please.’

he’s quick to give in, partially because he was eager to be able to ease the tension forming in the back of his neck, but also because he knew you wouldn’t give in until he listened.

‘fine, if you’re sure.’

he’s extremely cautious, letting you lead the way even though it was his own room, debating whether closing the door after him would make things seem a little too intimate. he opts for closing it, mainly because the light in the hallway was too distracting, but he still hovers over the bed, not really knowing what to do with himself.

‘what are you doing?’ you question him, slipping back under the covers before watching him from the position on the bed. judging by the things in his bathroom you were fairly certain this wasn’t the first time he’d shared a room with a girl. and it wasn’t like either of you had any other intentions.

‘don’t make this weird hyuck.’

it wasn’t your goal to make him laugh, but seeing the rigidity ease out of his form, you’re happy regardless as the right side of the bed dips slightly underneath his weight

he offers you a shy smile, his eyes warm and reassuring. ‘i’ll sleep on the edge, promise,” he said lightly, trying to ease any lingering awkwardness.

you chuckle softly, appreciating his thoughtfulness. “it’s fine, really,” you reply, feeling an unexpected sense of ease.

at first you lay on your side, facing away from him, but the space between the both of you was filled with a comforting presence. the room was dark, but the moonlight filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow.

your eyelids drooped, heavy with weariness as the weight of the whole day's activities fall upon your body, weighing you down. as you close your eyes, you feel the warmth of donghyuck’s body close to yours, a steady and calming presence. his breathing was a soothing rhythm, a lullaby that began to chase away the lingering thoughts about wonbin. there was a safety in the silence, a peace you hadn’t felt in a while.

donghyuck’s voice, soft and low, broke the quiet. “if you need anything, just wake me up,” he murmured, his tone filled with genuine care.

you nod, though you doubted you’d need to. for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt truly safe. the weight of the past seemed lighter, the shadows receding as you nestled into the comfort of the present. with donghyuck beside you, the world outside faded, leaving only the tranquillity of the moment.

sleep came easily,  your last thoughts a whisper of gratitude for the unexpected connection that had brought you peace.  maybe it was the small amount of alcohol still buzzing in your system, or the familiarity of your body next to another, that made you scoot just a little bit closer, body heat radiating off of one another as you let yourself be wrapped in the arms of another man.

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

the first thing you noticed when your eyes fluttered open slowly was the small but constant pounding settled in your temple. it made you wince, fingers rushing to massage the sore spot as you turned over in your space.

your hands reach out for something, but it’s empty and you frown. memories of the night before come flooding in bit by bit, and you sigh as the back of your head meets the pillow.

the sound of footsteps makes you sit up on your elbows, attempting to not look half asleep to donghyuck. instead you were met with the face of your suspiciously cheerful best friend, bounding through the doorway and flopping down on the bed right next to you.

‘morning sleeping beauty,’ she greets you, planting a sloppy kiss on your cheek and giggling at the way you pretend to be disgusted by it.

‘why are you so happy so early in the morning?’ you’re still feeling a little bit groggy, hair sticking up all over the place and you were sure you had a lot less to drink than yunjin did. so it made you wonder how she looked to be in a better position than you.

‘mark asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday.’

‘yunjin are you serious? that’s amazing.’

‘i know, i know, i’ll tell you all about it later. hyuck sent me upstairs to get you for breakfast,’ you’re both clearly excited, squealing like little girls, but it’s hard to ignore the low growl erupting from your stomach.

‘fine, you have to tell me every little detail later.’

you scramble out of bed, only now noticing the neat pile of clothes that donghyuck had folded for you to wear this morning. pulling the hoodie over your head and the basketball shorts up your thighs, you’re making your way downstairs, yunjin right by your side.

‘hey, you’re awake,’ donghyuck is the first one to spot you as you trail behind yunjin, suddenly feeling a little self conscious in the middle of the unfamiliar faces dotted around the kitchen.

he’s right in front of the stove, cracked egg shells in the palm of his hands as he mixes some batter for pancakes. gesturing for you to move closer, you can’t help but keep your gaze trained on the floor as you weave through the crowd that was starting to form.  his roommates, the ones you had briefly met last night, scattered around the table, turning their heads in unison, grinning mischievously as you approached.

you know what it looks like, coming out of donghyuck’s room, drowning in his clothes, and now he’s messing with the strings, pulling you in closer to mess with your hair. you can hear them whispering, teasing, the not so subtle whistling, it makes you feel even more shy as you try to move out of donghyuck’s reach and next to yunjin, even though all of her attention was focused on mark.

one of his roomates leaned back in his chair, a sly grin spreading across his face. ‘i hope his bed wasn’t too uncomfortable,’ he says, winking at you.

donghyuck rolled his eyes, but there was a lightness to his expression as he glanced at you.

‘hyuck’s never made food for the girls he brings over. it must be a miracle,’ a guy whose hair is a platinum blonde speaks up smirking, but his jokes seem to be directed more at hyuck than you.

‘cut it out guys. we just slept, nothing else,’ he points the spatula right at him, understanding what he was implying as  the boy raising his hands in defeat.

‘oh, just slept ,huh?’ another boy chimes in, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. ‘you two seemed pretty cosy when we peeked in this morning.’

your blush deepend, and you can feel hyuck’s embarrassment matching yours.

‘seriously, guys, give it a rest,” he said, setting a plate of pancakes on the table with a mock glare.

you shuffle awkwardly on your feet, praying that the focal point shifts away from you. one of the guys, you believe he introduced himself as jaemin, is the first to apologise, letting you know that he meant no harm.

‘our entire friendship is built on the foundation of embarrassing hyuck as much as possible.’

 jeno, the cute guy who started the teasing, follows suit, ‘i was just messing with him, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.’

you knew it was all just friendly banter, and it wasn’t exactly their fault that you weren’t the most sociable in front of new people so you let them know you weren’t offended or anything.

‘i think i’ve seen you around somewhere,’ jaemin tells you, pulling out a chair that surrounded the kitchen island so you could hop up first, all whilst hyuck was finishing flipping some pancakes.

‘me? from where?’

‘oh yeah, aren’t you wonbin’s friend? park wonbin.’

the mention of his name made your stomach drop. anxious, blinking back tears. everything came flooding back, all of your emotions going haywire and you have to turn away from them so you don’t give yourself away. the pain is excruciating, enough to make you light headed and your throat instantly tightens.

‘um- i wouldn’t exactly- um- call us friends,’ your grip on the kitchen counter increases, but the way your voice wavers makes donghyuck turn around, barely catching the stray tear that starts sliding down your cheek before you hastily wipe it away.

‘leave her alone and go about your day,’ he scolds his friend, motioning towards the door.

‘i thought the pancakes were for all of us?’

‘out. leave us alone.’

you’re both left alone in a comfortable silence and you’re grateful for donghyuck’s help in getting them to drop it. ‘hyuck,’ you call out to him, wanting to thank him.

‘we don’t have to talk about it. for now, we eat.’

a stack of pancakes are placed in front of you, syrup spread in a smiley face, mirroring the one on his face, and your shoulders relax, exhaling in relief.

‘let’s eat.’

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

your mind wanders back to the past two months and the unexpected bond that had formed between you and donghyuck. your conversations had become a daily comfort, his easy laughter and genuine concern a balm to your still-healing heart. 

he had been more than a distraction—he had been a true friend. from the late-night talks about your hopes and fears to the impromptu outings that filled you with a sense of normalcy, donghyuck had been there, steadfast and supportive.

his presence was a reminder that not all connections needed to be painful, that new friendships could be forged in the wake of old heartaches.

park wonbin was slowly but surely phasing out of your daily life and you were beginning to get back to your former self- more sociable, less self conscious, no longer weighed down by anxiety and dark thoughts.

your phone buzzes on the table in front of you, lighting up momentarily and displaying donghyuck’s name, and a string of messages he had just sent you.

hey picasso

how’s the art project going?

i’m hungry, are you free for lunch?

please say yes i don’t want to sit by myself :(

you chuckle quietly, your fingers moving to reply to his message to tell him that you would eat with him before setting your phone down.

almost immediately, his reply came through.

it’s my treat <3

you chuckled, shaking your head at another one of donghyuck’s little gestures, always finding ways to make you feel special. putting your phone down again, you feel a wave of gratitude wash over you. donghyuck had been a beacon of light in your life, guiding you through the darkness of your breakup with wonbin. spending time with him was always a joy, and he had quickly become a safe harbour, a place where you could simply be yourself.

packing up your art supplies, the soft chime of your phone stops you in your tracks, and you temporarily place your bag on the floor to glance at the screen, a new message from hyuck sending you the address of the restaurant as well as the name.

the name of the restaurant, ‘arang’, jumps out at you and your breath hitches as memories surge forward, unbidden. you hadn’t been there in almost a year, not since the last time with wonbin. the thought of him made your chest tighten as you close your eyes, letting yourself be momentarily swept away by the flood of recollections.

the first time you visited arang, it was a chilly winter evening. snowflakes gently drifted down, settling on your hair as wonbin laughed and brushed them away. you remembered the warm, inviting glow of the restaurant's facade, the way the soft lighting inside bathed everything in a cozy, golden light. you had sat by the window, watching the snowfall outside, your fingers intertwined over the table. the homely aroma of korean cuisine, the clinking of glasses, and the soft murmur of conversation had created a cocoon of intimacy around you both.

you shake your head, trying to dispel the vivid images. the past was in the past, there was no use of dwelling on it. plus the possibility of this day being the one that he also decides he wants to visit is slim, and you’re not even sure he would be around today, given that thursdays he usually didn’t have any classes and he would use this day for basketball practice.

you become akin to a robot, repeating this over and over again in your head, trying to convince your body- which has started to go into panic mode- that everything was fine and you were just overthinking.

stepping out of the school building after a visit to your locker you make your way to the restaurant. the familiar streets passed by in a blur, each step bringing you closer to a place filled with both joy and sorrow. it’s only when you see hyuck bounding towards you, arms outstretched, that your anxiety dissolves and you allow him to pull you into a bone-crushing hug, muttering something about how everyone but you had abandoned him.

‘i thought i was going to have to eat alone, nobody else wanted to come with me,’ is the first thing he tells you, clearly happy that you were here.

‘so you’re saying i was your last choice?’

‘no no no. i’m saying you’re my saviour,’ he loops his arms with your own, dragging you inside with him just as a couple is walking out. you let donghyuck go ahead whilst you kindly let them come out first.

‘hey -,’ the familiar voice calling your name makes you freeze, all limbs in your body stuck, rooted in the spot you were standing. donghyuck notices how you’re no longer beside him and turns around but is distracted by the waiter approaching him.

your mouth is dry, ominous thoughts squirming in the back of your mind as what felt like cold spider like fingers raced up and down your spine. you wanted to speak, to seem totally unbothered and unaffected like you thought you were. yet you couldn’t get words to come out.

the familiar figure of wonbin emerged from the sea of faces, his presence like a sharp pang to your chest. he stood tall and confident, his fingers laced between ning ning’s, her face practically glowing as she beams up at him, his eyes flickering to yours for a split second before landing on hers, leaning down, his touch gentle as he presses a kiss onto her cheek.

the feeling of a shard in your gut encompasses you, taking over all sensory input, comparable to death and bereavement as it washes over you like gruelling waves, choking the breath from your body and short circuiting your mind.

wonbin’s eyes met yours, a smug tugging at the corner of his lips because even though you haven’t said a word yet, he knows your body, how it reacts when you’re nervous, or when you had been disappointed by something he had did. you weren’t over him yet, and that was all he needed from you, blind devotion- just like it had always been.

his gaze was a calculated blend of charm and cruelty, a silent reminder of the control he had once exerted over your heart.

ning ning looks at you, sincere concern etched onto her features at the fact that you had not spoken, your skin paling and hands trembling.

‘are you alright?’ 

your throat is burning, eyes blinking furiously to keep the tears at bay, but you push through the pain and struggle to answer.

‘i-i’m fine, enjoy your day,’ you don’t give them a chance to reply as you turn and dart away from them, neck craning to try and find donghyuck.

you spot him at a table towards the back of the restaurant, waving to get your attention and sprint over, practically collapsing in your seat.

‘was that.. park wonbin?’ he’s careful, aware of the many times your body would stiffen up at the mention of him, or how you avoided talking about him as much as possible whenever he was brought up in conversation. he didn’t want to pry into something that clearly made you uncomfortable.

you nod in confirmation, debating whether or not you should tell him the full story. it was humiliating just thinking about how he would react when he heard how a simple boy had the ability to turn your whole life upside down. how suffocating it was just to see him in the vicinity of other girls, or how much grief it caused you to specifically see ning ning, when she was the one he chose and not you. 

despite all of this, donghyuck had been an amazing friend to you, and you felt that now was the right time to tell him the full truth. and that’s what you told him, starting from the day you first met, the addition of ning ning in the both of your lives and even how you continued to stay with him.

you expected him to look at you with disgust, or to judge you or even be disappointed. but donghuck was quiet, listening to every word you had to say, not once giving his own input.

‘pathetic right? i wouldn’t know what to say either.’

‘no that’s not it. i just thought about how upsetting it must have been. pouring your heart out for someone and getting nothing in return from them.’

‘he loved me. i guess he just- i must have done something to make him stop,’ it’s a habit of yours, rushing to wonbin’s defence whenever anything unfavourable is said about him. you don’t want him to be the bad guy in the story.

he frowns at your words, reaching out for your hand, ‘ please don’t take this the wrong way. you’re not the problem, he is.’

‘what do you mean?’

‘he was using you. using your kindness, your devotion to him, the way you loved him. and he was using that for his own gain, to feel good about himself. and then when you tried to push the boundary he put you in, he abandoned you,’ he explains, and although they were words you had heard before, namely from an extremely infuriated yunjin, you couldn’t bring yourself to accept it, to accept that park wonbin was not good.

‘that’s not true, he didn’t use me.’

‘it’s hard to hear, i understand. regardless, know that there’s nothing wrong with you, there’s nothing that you did that can explain why he’s acting like that,’ donghyuck pities you, seeing how reluctant you are to think badly of him. to love excessively is to be blind to all of the ugly parts of the person, shielding yourself away from it.

‘but-’

‘i’m speaking from experience, trust me. i know all about giving your everything to someone, loving them earnestly, thinking that they felt the same, only for them to throw it back in your face,’ it’s the first time you’re hearing about this, seeing a normally cheerful donghyuck change into a forlorn figure, appearing uncharacteristically apprehensive.

‘she left me, all alone when i needed her the most. it hit me so hard, i was sure that i would never be able to feel again. that i would just be numb and broken forever,’ he feels willing to share his own story, to offer you a beacon of light to what you felt was a hopeless situation.

‘that’s why i was so interested in you that night. that calibre of heartbreak, i recognised myself in the sadness of your eyes, feeling uneasy and restless, i understood it all before you even had to tell me your story,’ suddenly that night made more sense to you, why he was so attentive, unwilling to let you out of his sight, going the extra mile just to make you feel comfortable.

‘i see my old self in you, that’s why. we’ve got to build that self confidence all the way up.’

‘everyone deserves love- well not everyone- but you definitely do. you’re a good girl- not in the kinky sense, wow i have got to stop-‘

‘hyuck,’ you cut him off before he can ramble on any further, a habit of his you had picked up on due to his overactive sense of imagination and his inability to multitask.

‘sorry. what i’m trying to say is you’re pretty, a good person, funny and you’re smart as fuck. any guy would be lucky to have you.’

‘you’re just saying that.’

‘i mean it though,’ his face softens, and it’s the most sincere look you’ve seen from hyuck since the first time you met him.

‘you might not believe it now, but trust me. that’s what i’m here for, project mend your heart and make you confident.’

‘and who else but the sexiest man alive to be of assistance.’

you’re laughing, genuine laughter which was something that seemed to become more common when with donghyuck.

‘jeno would beg to differ,’ you tease him mindlessly, a throw away comment that didn’t have much meaning to it. but in true hyuck fashion, everything had to be dramatic.

‘i knew it. i knew you wanted to fuck him,’ he points at you, shouting louder than he should have been in a restaurant, and you sink further into your seat in embarrassment, whilst he mouths quick apologies and bows his head to the few curious customers that turned in your direction.

‘i never said i wanted to fuck him, where did you get that from?,’ your voice is hushed, cheeks flushed as you fight the urge to reach over the table putting a distance between you two and throttle him.

‘well you just inadvertently said you thought he was sexy. what’s the next step from that? begging him to fuck.’

you crinkle your nose in disgust, donghyuck acting like he had uncovered some kind of dirty secret, looking rather smug as he folded his arms over his chest.

‘maybe in a teen fiction book. that’s not how things work in the real world stupid. 

‘of course it does. people who are attracted to other people normally end up having sex,’ he states as if it’s the most obvious fact in the world, backed by scientific evidence.

‘not true. i think you’re sexy too but i’d rather keel over and die than be sexually intimate with you.’

but you instantly regret saying that when you see how his eyebrow quirks, his smile becomes a smirk and he leans in towards you.

‘so what i’m hearing is-‘

‘no, you’re not hearing anything. shut up and eat,’ you’re shoving cooked chicken into his mouth before he can have another outburst and bring more shame to your table.

giving up, he takes the tongs out of your hands to put some in your own bowl, placing the pork belly on the grill next.

you both eat in relative silence, enjoying the food, with occasional comments about how good the food is.

‘so-‘ donghyuck speaks up after almost five minutes of no conversation.

you can already tell he’s going to say something stupid by the way he’s raised his eyebrow, leaning forward on his elbows.

‘you think i’m sexy huh?’

‘i’m starting to regret meeting you for lunch.’

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

it was becoming a regular occurrence for you to be dragged out of whatever comfortable position you were in on a saturday evening, yanked out from under the comfort of your duvet by your friends just so you could hang out. tonight was not any different, only this time you were struggling to understand why you were even called out.

‘i don’t know why you invited me and hyuck on a double date, we’re not in a relationship,’ you tell yunjin who pretends like she can’t hear you, allowing herself to be swept away into the arms of her boyfriend, only turning around to stick her tongue out at you and you huff at her childishness.

it had been such a long week and as much as you loved hanging out with these three, another episode of it’s okay to not be okay was calling your name. well, more like another hour of drooling over kim soohyun but that's besides the point.

‘yeah, even though she wants to be with me so badly,’ donghyuck appears beside you, arm lazily hung over your shoulder as he teases you, even going as far as puckering his lips, pretending to ask for a kiss.

you shove him, and he narrowly misses the gigantic pole a few cm away from his face. turning towards you with narrow eyes he lunges forward, successfully grabbing you by the sleeve of your jacket and tugging you closer to him.

‘let me go lee donghyuck, i swear to god,’ your pleas fall on deaf ears, as he’s too busy tickling you to care for your empty threats, enjoying how you’re squirming in his hold and using one arm to hold you up by the waist so you don’t fall.

‘cant hear you over the sound of your squeals.’

‘you two act like this and then wonder why so many people think you’re together,’ the couple who were once further ahead realised that both of you were no longer beside them, and turned around to see you in the predicament you were currently in. yunjin crosses her arm as she stands in place, but contrary to her posture she’s smiling. mark adorns a similar look, content that the two of you got along so well. he remembered how distressed yunjin was whenever they met up four months ago, before they started dating, worried about you, wondering when you would be happy again.

meanwhile you freeze in his hold, and donghyuck stops, looking down to see your face.

‘do people really think that? that me and donghyuck are dating?’ panic is evident in your tone, by the way your voice shakes.

‘donghyuck can’t be that bad,’ mark jokes, not gauging the way the atmosphere had changed a little bit.

‘it’s not that. it’s just- do you think wonbin will think that too,’ you ask to no-one in particular. you vowed to stop talking about him, figuring your friends were tired of hearing you speak about him time and time again. the words became forbidden from spilling from your lips, and it felt almost foreign for you to say it again.

‘fuck wonbin. who cares what he thinks. he has no right to have any opinion on who you are or aren’t dating,’ there’s a fire in yunjin’s eye, one that tells you she means every word she says and you bow your head, choosing to focus on your shoes instead of meeting the eyes of the three standing in front of you.

mark seemed to be the only one unaware of the whole situation, and looks to donghyuck, thinking they were in the same position. but when he tells you he agrees with yunjin, and rubs your shoulder, he realises he’s the only one. you had seen mark quite a lot in the past three months, but he knew it was probably something you didn’t want to talk about for now, especially because although you had developed a decent friendship, you weren’t exactly best friends. although he did have to wonder how donghyuck found out.

‘we should get going, we’re going to be late,’ your desire to change the subject causes you to shift the focus on to something else, namely the restaurant that you had planned to go to. you know that yunjin wouldn’t easily forget this conversation, that within this week you would end up having a serious talk about your feelings for he who shall not be named. but for now she shows you mercy, pulling mark along with her to lead the way.

in a matter of minutes you arrive at your destination, a dimly lit pan-asian restaurant, decorated with japanese kanji on the walls and various references to koi fish. you’re immediately greeted by a server, leading you to a table for four almost in the middle of the restaurant.

donghyuck, being the gentleman he is, helps you slip out of the thin cardigan you were wearing before pulling your chair out for you and pushing it closer to the table once you were sat, whilst mark mirrored those same actions.

hyuck was animatedly recounting a funny story from his high school days, his expressive gestures making you all laugh. he always added the right amount of exaggeration to achieve the art of storytelling. the conversation was flowing smoothly, laughter erupting here and there, so much so that you almost didn’t notice the figure approaching your table.

‘mark? hyuck? fancy seeing you guys here,’ it’s ning ning in all of her beauty, and you curse yourself for falling into a trance, admiring how perfectly her hair was styled, and the way the dress she wore fit her body like a glove. a leather trench coat was draped around her shoulders underneath the black dior saddle bag, matching with the pumps that clothed her feet. anyone with eyes could see that ning ning was alluring, the words pretty or cute would be lost on someone as perfectly crafted as her.

your instincts cause you to fearfully scan the room, half expecting wonbin to be not too far behind just like last time, but instead you could see the group of girls waiting at the table she had just left, and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

‘hey ning ning, it’s been a while.’ you’re surprised that she even knows mark, until you’re told about the music class they share and small flashes of them sharing a stage for the school's summer festival flash in your mind. her energy is enthralling, captivating the attention of everyone at the table, drawing them in with her kind smile and envy courses through your blood at the quality you’re unable to share with her, your personality paling in comparison to hers.

you’re so lost in your own thoughts that you don’t even hear her asking a question, until everyone turns towards you, and you’re met with four sets of eyes on you.

‘i’m sorry i didn’t hear what you said, i think it’s the noise in here,’ you blame it on the music that plays fairly softly in the background, and the small bustle of conversations surrounding you, but if she had picked up on your poor attempt of an excuse, she didn’t seem to show it.

‘i was just asking if you were feeling better. last time i saw you i was quite worried.’

it’s frustrating, how much you would prefer for her to be a bitch, so you could justify any sort of hatred aimed towards her, and spend your time speaking ill of her just to satisfy the dull ache in your chest. instead she was lovely, extremely compassionate and totally unaware of the despair that her mere presence brought you.

‘i’m fine now,’ you don’t mean to sound so cold but it’s hard for you to muster up the strength to push aside your feelings, so you offer her a tight-lipped smile, one that has the corner of your lips quivering from how hard you force it to stay up.

‘that’s good to hear, you definitely look a lot better.’

‘oh i’m sorry, is this a double date?’ she asks, as if the revelation had just dawned on her that two boys and two girls sat together at a restaurant on saturday evening, dressed a bit more fancily for it to be a simple hangout.

you wanted to correct her, to protest her statement but you feel donghyuck pinching your knee under the table  and he answers for you, ‘yes we actually are.’

you’re perplexed, unsure of what reason he would need to lie, but you figure he would explain things to you after she left.

‘aww that’s so cute, i’ve always wanted to go on one of those,’ more small talk is made, but you’re stuck staring at hyuck’s face, trying to decipher his thoughts but failing miserably.

‘i’ll leave you guys to it, enjoy your night,’ ning ning finally departs from your table, calling out over her shoulder as the rest of her friends also rise to their feets, signalling their exits. you wait till you see the last girl push past the swinging doors before you lightly hit donghyuck on his shoulder.

‘why didn’t you tell her we’re not dating? this is definitely not a double date and you know that.’

he shrugs his shoulders in response, like it wasn’t a big deal before he answers. ‘because what good would it do her if she knew.’

you’re even more confused now by what he’s saying. does he mean that both of you should pretend to be in a relationship like the main characters of a romance novel?

‘so are you saying we should fake date?’

‘is this another one of your schemes to get me to fall in love with you?’ he jokes, and you realise that you seem to be taking this a lot more seriously than he is.

‘hyuck,’ you warn him.

‘i’m just saying if people think we are, do we really need to keep on explaining. it’s nobody’s business and it doesn’t hurt to look unavailable when you’re clearly not interested in dating at the moment.’

‘that’s true, it’s not like you’re going around telling people. plus if people think you two are dating they’ll stop with their stupid questions,’ yunjin agrees with his sentiment, and you pick up on a further ulterior motive, one which involves preventing wonbin from trying to swoop back in and sweep you off of your feet when he feels like it. she doesn’t say this out loud, but the look she shares with donghyuck speaks for itself.

‘whatever, all of this talk about dating makes me nauseous,’ it was meant to be received as a joke, but your voice, tinged with a mixture of bitterness and sadness, causes hyuck and yunjin to exchange concerned glances.

ning ning had just left the table after a cordial exchange, yet the atmosphere felt heavy, laden with unsaid words and unspoken truths, the lively hum of conversations from other diners providing a comforting backdrop for the lingering tension in the air.

mark looks around, blinking slowly, sensing the change but seemingly the only one unaware of its cause.

‘something tells me you all know something i don’t.’

you take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts as you feel dongyuck’s reassuring presence besides you, his hands gently resting on your shoulder.

‘ning ning is…. well, she’s dating my ex-boyfriend, wonbin,’ you began, your voice steady but laced with an undercurrent of pain. ‘it’s a long story, and not a very happy one.’

mark’s expression softened, and he leaned in slightly, giving you his full attention. ‘you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable. but I’m here to listen if you want to share.”

you nod, appreciating his sensitivity. “thanks, mark. i think it’s time you knew,’ taking another deep breath you continued.

‘when i was with wonbin everything was perfect, he was charming, attentive, and made me feel special. i thought i had finally found the one.’

you pause, the memories swirling in your mind as you take a big gulp. yunjin reached across the table, taking your hand in a comforting grip and you drew strength from her touch.

‘he told me that he didn’t like ning ning, and that he was dating her only in public just for appearances. it sounds stupid now but i really wanted to believe it, and i did. eventually i got tired of everything, i wanted to be the only one, to make things public and that’s when he got upset and told me he didn’t love me. he left me for her, ning ning.’

mark’s eyes widened with shock and sympathy. ‘that’s awful, i’m so sorry you went through that.’

his expressions were open and earnest, and you felt relief that he didn’t judge you and instead showed genuine sympathy. 

‘i can’t imagine how tough that must be. but you’re incredibly strong for getting through it and for sharing this with us. you don’t have to face it alone.”

yunjin squeezes your hand tighter. ‘we’re all here for you. you don’t have to carry this burden by yourself.’

‘and we’ll make sure to keep things light and fun. like, i can always offer to trip wonbin if he ever shows his face around us again,’ you couldn’t help but laugh, the tension easing slightly as mark also chuckles, the mood lifting with shared laughter.

as the evening progressed, the conversation shifted to lighter topics, the supportive presence of your friends helping to ease the pain of the past. though the memories of your relationship with wonbin still lingered, you knew you weren’t alone, surrounded by friends who cared deeply for you.

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

the next day ning ning joins wonbin in his room after a long day of classes, looking to relax in his presence. instead she’s met with the sight of him slouching in his gaming chair, his hair a fluffy mess, wearing only a black tank top and basketball shorts, making her feel out of place in her pleated skirt and corset top. kicking off her shoes she settles for the edge of his bed, settling into relative silence as she’s left to scroll on her phone. a picture she had taken at the dinner last night reminding her of who she saw.

‘i saw that friend of yours, the one at the game and at the bbq place too. she was at the same restaurant as we were.’

‘oh really?’ wonbin is uninterested, eyes focused on the game, cursing under his breath at the death of one of his teammates, furiously manoeuvring the buttons on his controller, almost forgetting that his girlfriend was in the vicinity.

‘she was on a date. well a double date actually,’ ning ning continues, choosing to move as closely to him as was possible despite his lack of focus on her.

unknowingly the controller slips from his hands, and he freezes, sure that he had misheard what she had said.

‘a date?’ he repeats in disbelief. the person that he knew you as wouldn’t even be able to bring herself to have romantic feelings for another guy, let alone boldly accepting a date with one.

‘yeah. why is that so shocking?’ she kneels down to pick up the console and hand it to him and he has to fight to conceal how he truly feels, just so that she doesn’t suspect anything.

‘no reason, she's just- you know pretty shy and stuff. didn’t think she would be the type,’ the lie easily falls out of his mouth, and he almost applauds himself for how convincing it sounds as ning ning hums and nods her head, aware of the few times she had encountered her how little she spoke.

‘she seemed super extraverted when i saw her. and her and donghyuck, they look so cute together,’ unaware of the change in wonbin’s expression ning ning continues to talk about last night, all whilst wonbin is left to think.

he’s unsure how the two of you even became acquainted, given that he was one of the most popular people in school. the thought of you moving on was one he had never factored in, so sure that no matter how he played it you would always be putty in his arms, dancing to whatever tune he set. 

was it all a lie when you begged for him, telling him it was impossible for you to move on? he’s not sure what the emotion he’s feeling is called, but it burns inside of him and he’s not feeling good about it.

a flash of anger crossed wonbin’s face, but he quickly masked it with a tight smile. ‘i see. so, she’s dating donghyuck now?’

ning ning shrugged, not sensing the shift in his demeanor. ‘it seemed like it. they were really sweet together. anyway, how have you been? I missed you.’

wonbin’s mind raced, anger and jealousy twisting inside him. how dare she move on so easily? he had always controlled the narrative, made her feel insignificant, and now she was out there, smiling and happy without him. the thought infuriated him.

‘i’ve been fine,’ he replied curtly, his tone betraying his inner turmoil. ‘tell me more about this double date. what were they doing?

still unaware of his growing anger, ning ning began recounting the evening. wonbin’s grip on the armrest tightened, his knuckles turning white. ‘it sounds like everyone had a good time,’ he said through gritted teeth.

finally noticing the tension in his voice, she stopped and looked at him with concern. ‘wonbin, are you okay? you seem upset.”

he forced a smile, shaking his head. ‘i’m fine. just a bit tired, that’s all.’ she reaches out, touching his hand gently. ‘if something's bothering you, you can tell me. you know that, right?’

‘i know, thanks babe. it’s just been a long day. let’s not talk about the double dates anymore.

ning ning nodded, sensing that it was best to let the topic drop. she shifted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. ‘alright. let’s just relax and enjoy the evening together.’

as she snuggled against him, wonbin wrapped an arm around her, his thoughts still fixated on you. he couldn’t stand the idea of you being happy without him, and he resolved to find a way to regain control over the situation.

it prompts him to decide to ask about it the next day at school, desperate to find out more. wonbin’s features twisted into a determined scowl, last night’s revelation still echoing in his mind, fueling a mix of jealousy and indignation. you, the one he was so sure he would always have a hold one, had moved on with donghyuck. the thought gnawed at him, stirring a toxic concoction of anger and resentment.

he spotted shotaro, known for his sunny disposition and extensive network of friends, intercepting him near his lockers, his voice clipped with urgency. ‘shorato, i need to ask you something, i heard a rumour yesterday.

‘sure, wonbin, what’s up?’ shotaro, always obliging, nodded and adjusted his backpack.

‘i heard that donghuck has a new girlfriend,’ he puts effort into appearing nonchalant, scrolling on his phone as if he had better things to do, and as if it was just insignificant gossip he had heard in passing.

‘yeah it seems so, i think you know the girl too, the one at your basketball game. they’re together all the time now. i’ve seen them come into school together too a few times,’ shotaro is none the wiser, easily dishing out the gossip, all whilst wonbin fights hard to control the way his jaw now tics, rage pulsing through his veins as he felt a flash of irritation.

it was clear that the time apart between you two had done more harm than good. but park wonbin was not a nice guy, or someone often graced with rational thoughts. to him, in some sick and twisted way, you were cheating on him. you had betrayed his trust and he refused to let this go on any longer.

a flicker of rage crossed wonbin’s face, quickly masked by a cold smile. ‘interesting. and what else have you heard?’

shotaro frowned, sensing the tension in wonbin’s demeanour. ‘well, there’s also talk about donghyuck hosting a party this weekend. he’s invited a lot of people already but it seems like anyone could come.’

wonbin’s mind raced with possibilities. a party meant an opportunity to see you, to confront you in a social setting where he could exert his influence. he nodded slowly, his plan forming with each passing second. ‘thanks, shotaro. see you around.’

with that, he turned on his heel and strode down the hallway, his mind focused on the upcoming party. he needed to regain control, to remind you of your past and what you both once shared. wonbin was determined to break you down, to manipulate your emotions.

throughout the day, wonbin’s thoughts remained fixed on his plan. he knew exactly what he needed to do at donghyuck’s party. he would corner you, slowly chipping away at your resolve until you saw that being with him was where you truly belonged.

making his way through the crowded halls, wonbin’s outward appearance was calm and collected, but inside, a storm of determination raged. he would stop at nothing to win you back, even if it meant using manipulation and deceit to achieve his goal. the party was just the beginning of his calculated scheme to reclaim what he believed was rightfully his.

perhaps it was narcissistic, the sense of entitlement that he felt that created the need for admiration, but your naivety and how easy it was to get you to fall at his knees at his every word meant that he would not let go of you.

 not until he wanted to.

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

‘home sweet home,’ you kick off your shoes, barely getting your jacket past your waist until you flop onto donghyuck’s bed. it was his birthday today, meaning you had been on your feet all day, making sure his cake was ready, or that the cocktails ordered were the right flavours amongst other last minute things.

as tired as you were though, it didn’t bother you as much. hyuck had been a good friend to you, someone you cherished dearly, so giving up a few hours on his special day was not much of a hassle. you had just gotten back from picking up the birthday cake and cupcakes from the bakery with yunjin and mark, and decided to get what little rest you could before you had to get ready for the party.

‘move over,’ yunjin is motioning with her hands for you to leave some space for her, and as soon as you do she’s lying down besides you whilst mark watches at the doorway, arms folded with a smile on his face.

‘what’s got you smiling?’

‘i’m just thinking about how happy i am for hyuck. he’s got a girl that finally cares about him,’ you sit up at those words so suddenly that you’re sure your vision shifts for a couple of seconds.

‘they’re not in love with each other mark, give it up babe,’ yunjin speaks up for you, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend. it wasn’t a secret that mark heavily advocated for the two of you to be together, given that hyuck was his bestfriend and the two of you were getting closer. he believed that your shared experiences of getting your heart broken and being taken advantage of due to loving too hard would work in your favour if you became a couple.

it was a thought that weighed heavily on your mind during this week. you were certain that if you were to be in a relationship with him, your worries of not being loved, or being abandoned, or being treated poorly like the rest of your exes would no longer be a concern. he was the sweetest boy you had ever met, and he always had your best interests at heart.

‘do you really not see hyuck in that way?’ mark turns the question to you, and it makes you pause and think. in an ideal world he would be the perfect partner for you, the one that you needed. but it was impossible to fill a wonbin shaped hole in your heart with someone that wasn’t him.

‘i wish i did,’ you confess truthfully, and to yunjin’s surprise, a little sadly. it makes her also now sit up, bringing her arms around your shoulders to bring you into a hug.

‘it’s alright if you don’t. you’re allowed to take as much time as you need to heal, there’s no time limit for that.’

her words comfort you and she gives you a small squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before she’s up on her feet again.

‘we have two hours before people start arriving and i need at least thirty minutes for my eyeliner alone.’

you’re left in hyuck’s room by yourself, deciding on also getting ready, even though it was a bit too early for you. a part of you felt bad for the mess you were sure to make in his room, your makeup products and brushes laid all over the table, outfit on his bed and a couple pairs of heels by the foot of his bed.

music played softly in the background as you sat at donghyuck’s vanity, your reflection framed by the ornate mirror adorned with fairy lights that you had convinced him to hang up. you ran your fingers through your hair, contemplating how to style it for the evening ahead.

it was nice to have a moment to yourself, leisurely taking your time to get ready. however, it meant that you were also left alone with your thoughts, which were anything but peaceful.

maybe you had healed. maybe all you needed to be completely over wonbin would be to allow yourself to be with someone else. it might help the thoughts of him that would momentarily flash in your mind, or the part of you that you felt still blindly loved him. it was time to let park wonbin go. for good.

just as you finished styling your hair into loose waves, there was a gentle knock on the door and before you could respond, mark and yunjin poked their heads into the room.

‘hey,’ mark greeted, leaning against the doorframe. ‘how’s it going in here?’

yunjin steps inside, her eyes bright with excitement as she waltzes into the room, mark in tow. ‘you look gorgeous my love. are you almost ready?’

you chuckle softly at their excitement, ‘almost, just finishing up. thanks for letting me borrow donghyuck’s room, mark.

mark nodded, his expression kind. ‘of course. take your time, everyone’s still doing one thing or another.’ 

‘someone would think that you were the birthday girl,’ mark joked as he admired his girlfriend parading around the room, a second pair of heels in her clutches.

‘looking good doesn’t need an occasion my love.’

you weren’t too far off either, your hair curled beautifully, cascading down to your back, and the black glittery two piece you wore clung to your body. you would have settled for a simple dress or even some jeans, but yunjin profusely objected, threatening to disown you.

according to her, as his closest friends they had a duty to look equally as good as donghyuck, although you were sure it was just an excuse for her to get all dressed up, like she loved to do.

‘whatever you say princess.’

the soft murmur of conversation fills donghyuck’s room as you all lounged comfortably on his bed, basking in the calm before the storm of his birthday party. you were taking refuge here after helping set up downstairs, enjoying a brief respite before the festivities began in earnest.

yunjin pulls out her phone, noting the time. ‘i think the first guests should be arriving soon,’ she remarked, glancing at you and mark.

‘yeah hyuck said they’d start showing up around this time. we should probably head downstairs.’

you all descend the stairs together, the llively chatter and laughter from downstairs growing louder as you approached the front door. you swung it open first, just as the doorbell chimed, revealing a group of donghyuck’s friends eagerly waiting to join the celebration.

‘hey, come on in!’ you greet them warmly, stepping aside to let the guests enter.

mark and yunjin followed suit, exchanging greetings and directing everyone towards the living room where the party was unfolding. upstairs, the boys were still in full swing, pre-gaming and engaging in last-minute preparations and games. donghyuck’s voice echoed down the stairs as he rallied his friends for the night ahead.

meanwhile, you busied herself ensuring everything was running smoothly. you checked the food and drinks, adjusting a few decorations here and there to perfectionist standards. the cake was laid out carefully on the kitchen table, surrounded by the mini cupcakes, and drinks were lined up with three hired bartenders. the decorations were just as you had imagined, and the presents that his friends were bringing for him were in place.

‘you could totally become an event planner,’ donghyuck’s voice causes you to turn around and you gasp at the sight of him as he leans against the counter casually. he’s always been attractive, that was non-disputable, but tonight it seemed like he had exceeded those plain terms. it reminded you of the night you first met, his dark tresses providing a flawless contrast with his skin, golden and clear, dotted with the beauty marks you loved to stare at so much.

the leather jacket he wore seemed to fit him well, and you wondered if all the time he had recently been spending in the gym was finally paying off by the way his white shirt clung to his body. but it was the faint traces of eyeliner circling his hooded eyes that left you awestruck, complimenting his eyes.

‘is this your way of telling me i look good?’ he bites his lip before a smirk graces his lips, playfulness emboldening his irises as he steps closer and closer, until you can smell the cologne that lingers on his shirt.

‘you do,’ you’re straightforward with your answer because it’s the truth.

‘i’ve got nothing on you though. thought an angel temporarily came down to visit,’ he says jokingly, but something about the look in his eye makes you feel that he means his words. 

the space between you becomes non-existent, and slowly you feel him brush a stray piece of hair away from your eyes, his fingers lingering around your face for longer than it usually would.

your eyes meet, a silent conversation unfolding between you if you were suspended in a moment outside of time. the air in the kitchen crackled with an electric tension, the proximity intoxicating, the space between you charged with a magentic pull.

you’re about to reply but you’re interrupted by jeno and jaemin, a bottle in each hand, hollering about taking shots for the birthday boy. tension that you weren’t sure was even possible to feel with donghyuck dissipates, and you feel him go back to his old self as he allows the boys to drag him out to the middle of the dance floor.

‘what was that all about?’ yunjin asks, and you failed to notice her standing behind jeno’s bigger frame, causing you to jump a little. she looks at you suspiciously, as if you had done something and gotten caught.

‘nothing,’ your reply is too quick, voice far too squeaky for her to believe you, and she had known you for too long to be deceived so easily.

‘so that means there was something. it looked like he was about to kiss you.’

you knew that, you were aware that the way his eyes would flicker down to your lips, or the way his second hand came and held you at the small of your back. you’d been kissed before, and it wasn’t hard to miss the signs. but something else shocked you, and you snap out of your daze to look your friend in the eye.

‘i know, and i think i would have let him.’

yunjin’s jaw drops dramatically before her hands fly to her mouth. ‘you mean-’

‘yes.’

‘i need some more alcohol.’

half of the night is spent inside your own mind, replaying the scene with donghyuck over and over again. he was going to kiss you, and if you hadn’t been stopped by jeno’s loud voice it would have happened. did this mean you were over wonbin? was it just because it had been such a long time since you had been kissed and you missed it? did you like hyuck as more than a friend?

the memory replayed in your mind like a haunting melody, a glimpse of what could have been. but each time you closed your eyes to savour the moment, flashes of park wonbin intruded upon your thoughts. his smile, his touch, his whispered promises- the memories of your tumultuous relationship resurfaced with unsettling clarity.

doubt gnawed at your resolve, casting shadows over the budding attraction you believed you felt for donghyuck. in this fleeting moments of introspection, you confronted the harsh truth. you were not over wonbin.

as the night wore on and the party reached its crescendo of laughter and music, you found yourself slipping deeper into a whirlpool of conflicting emotions. despite the outward revelry, an internal storm brewed within you. you drifted through the crowd with a plastic smile, deflecting conversations and laughter as though they were merely obstacles in your path. 

but behind your façade, a maelstrom of doubt and regret churned relentlessly. you had come so far in your journey of healing, painstakingly unravelling the tendrils of love and manipulation that wonbin had woven around your heart. yet, tonight, his ghost haunted you once more.

in a moment of weakness, you found yourself standing at the makeshift bar, fingers gripping a drink with more force than necessary. the amber liquid swirled in the glass, its scent sharp and intoxicating. without hesitation, you raised it to your lips, welcoming the burn that seared down your throat.

the alcohol offered a fleeting reprieve—a temporary numbing of the pain that threatened to overwhelm you. with each sip, you hoped to drown out the memories, to silence the doubts that clawed at your resolve. but with every passing moment, the thoughts of wonbin persisted, stubbornly refusing to be subdued.

disappointment settled heavily in your chest, mingling with self-recrimination. you had worked tirelessly to banish wonbin from your thoughts, to rebuild yourself without the weight of his presence. yet here you were, succumbing to the allure of temporary oblivion.

so you found yourself turning to alcohol with increasing desperation. each drink became a lifeline, a means to drown out the relentless thoughts of park wonbin that plagued your mind.

the burn in your throat was now a distant sensation. with each sip, you felt yourself slipping further from reality, the chaotic noise of the party fading into a dull hum. you didn’t want to think anymore tonight. and eventually it worked its magic. in this intoxicated state, you were free from the torment of memories, free from the disappointment in yourself from succumbing to old wounds.

the dance floor pulsed with energy, the bass vibrating through the floor and up into your bones. the dim, colourful lights spun in dizzying patterns, casting fleeting shadows on the faces of your friends and strangers alike, all moving to the beat. you throw your head back and laugh, the alcohol buzzing warmly in your veins, making everything feel brighter, louder, more intense.

your drink sloshed in its glass as you swayed to the rhythm, the liquid gleaming under the flashing lights. you take another sip, the sweetness masking the burn of the alcohol. your movements become more fluid and uninhibited with every passing moment, the night was a blur of sound and colour, and for once, you felt free.

but then you heard it- ‘who the fuck invited park wonbin?’

your heart lurched, the sound slicing through the haze of joy and alcohol like a knife. involuntarily, you stop moving, your  eyes wide and unfocused as you scan the crowd. the music seemed to fade into the background, replaced by the rush of blood in your ears.

the world seems to pause as those two words register in your head and you freeze. hyuck, who is just as oblivious to the situation as you were a couple of seconds ago, feels you stop dancing and furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

you see his lips move, and you’re sure he’s talking to you, but you can’t hear anything. as if you’re wearing noise cancelling headphones, the voices around you sound muffled. worried at your lack of response you feel the palms of his hand coming to the side of your face to bring you out of your trance.

 park wonbin is all you can see. you’re enthralled by the way his hair seems even longer than it was last time, beautifully falling just a few inches above his shoulders. he easily looked the best out of all the boys there, comparable to an angel with the way his delicate features are a distinction from his dark clothes, or his jet black hair that he lets fall freely. that was the man you had fallen in love with, the one who had the ability to render you speechless. the man who had wrapped your heart in a barbed wire of lies and control. a shiver runs down your spine, skin prickling with the memory of his touch, his words. he was here.

‘how is wonbin’s here,’ someone said again, closer this time, making you sure it was yunjin, who was far from pleased, but the damage was already done. he stood at the edge of the dance floor, his gaze locked onto you with the same intensity that had once made you feel special, desired. now, it only filled you with dread, his presence a dark cloud, threatening to consume your light and drag you back into the shadows.

he looks down to your fingers that are laced together with hyuck’s, a sight that ignited a surge of possessiveness within him but you’re unable to tell at first how he’s feeling except for the quirk of his eyebrow. then you notice the way his jaw clenched tightly before he unclenched it and you know what that meant- wonbin was pissed.

panic surged through you, a cold wave that washed away the warmth of the alcohol. you couldn’t handle this. you couldn’t handle him. not here, not now. fear and confusion twisted inside you, making it hard to breathe. the room seems to close in on you, stomach twisting and you quickly excuse yourself, your aim to make it away from his prying eyes.

you turn on your heel, pushing through the crowd, your movements frantic and desperate, too focused on stabilising yourself. the faces around you blurred, their laughter and conversations fading into a distant hum.

you burst into the bathroom, the door swinging shut behind you with a loud thud. the room was starkly lit, the harsh fluorescent lights a jarring contrast to the dim, colourful glow outside.

the bathroom was a sanctuary of shadows, the dim light casting long, wavering reflections on the tiled walls. you stood at the sink, gripping its edge with such fervour that your knuckles turned white, your heart a drumbeat of anxiety, pounding in your chest as you stared into the mirror, trying to calm your racing thoughts.

the door creaked open behind you, and  a chill crawled up you spine. you didn’t need to turn around to know who had entered. 

park wonbin’s presence filled the small space like a dark cloud, heavy and oppressive. he moved with the grace of a predator, his footsteps barely making a sound as he approached you.

‘having fun?’ his voice startles you, heart racing as you accidentally hit the sink, shaking your head like a fool as your heart squeezes in your chest.

you feel bile rise rapidly to your throat, head pounding as the room starts to spin, but seemingly only for you. wonbin looks at you with pure disgust, as if you’re covered in filth, not worthy of being in his presence.

you hated the idea of him being annoyed or disappointed in you and soon tears started to streak down your face, the dam breaking before you could even attempt to hold it in, lip quivering as you blinked rapidly to stop the droplets of water from obstructing your vision.

‘wonbin please-’

‘lee donghyuck? really?’ he barely gives you a chance to speak, his actions contradicting the harsh words he spews as he gently uses his thumb to wipe away a few tears. you’re a whimpering mess, body shaking like a leaf as you try hard to stabilise yourself.

no matter how much time passed, no matter how much you willed yourself to, you couldn’t get over park wonbin. you loved him to a fault, you loved him to the point that it hurt. your love was like a rose, appearing beautiful from the red petals and buds, but stinging like the thorns that weaved up the stem.

‘you have no right to care about who i am or am not dating,’ you echo the words of hyuck, trying to seem bold and brave, pushing his hand away from you.

wonbin stops, his eyes trailing down and stopping at your feet, hair falling in front of his eyes and for a few seconds he doesn’t move. then you see his shoulders move up and down, slowly at first but they increase in speed. you know you shouldn’t be but in worry of him crying you hastily lift his head in your hands. only his face is dry, void of any tears and you see that he’s laughing instead.

‘i don’t-’

‘you’re so fucking stupid, he obviously just wants to use you.’

you’re taken aback by how harsh his words are, realising it was a mistake for you to have even said anything in the first place.you want to leave, to turn away from this suffocating situation to somewhere you can finally breathe but you’re trapped, his hands gripping your wrist, holding you against the wall.

that’s not fair wonbin. you left me,’ your voice is small, almost incomprehensible but he catches on to what you’re saying. he had you right where he wanted you, still stupidly in love with him, and he didn’t know whether to feel pity for your naivety or rejoice.

‘do you know how it felt to hear from other people that you moved on? you hurt me,’ it’s become wonbin’s second nature to turn accusations around and throw the blame on you. to make you feel like the bad guy, like you were the one in the wrong.

it was the final blow to your heart, and you feel yourself about to heave, moving past him with a shove to grip the sink, head dangerously close to the faucet as you try to steady your breathing. but he doesn’t stop there, he won’t be finished till he leaves you a mess on the bathroom floor, broken and unable to move on from him.

‘you know how hard it was for me, and you couldn’t even be patient, you tried to replace me so fast. did you even love me?’

‘stop-‘ you can barely breathe, the room closing in as you try to steady yourself, eyes shut as you pray for a miracle, for something to pull you out of this nightmare.

‘but that’s a stupid question, because i know the answer. you love me to a fault, you love me to the point it hurts you, but like a fool you keep coming back. want to know why? it’s because that’s what love is,’ he’s so close, close enough for you to smell that familiar scent of mint and cedarwood that you loved so much. it’s suffocating, making you lightheaded, and yet just like him you can’t get enough.

‘it’s not like the flowery shit you read in your books. nobody can give you that but me. no one can truly love you but me,’ he continues, not caring for how pale you turn, or how you slowly sink down to your knees, the pain of being so close to him making it unbearable for you to even stand on your own two feet.

he watches as you curl into a ball, despair coursing through your blood and a numbness clouding your eyes. your worst fears had been vocalised- maybe wonbin was the only one who would be able to love you. it made sense that he was the only one to ignite the flame of passion that you felt in the pits of your stomach. it made sense that only he held the ability to temper with your emotions to such an extreme extent. true love, that was what that feeling was.

you shrink back down into your own hollow body, lost, lacking and defeated. you sigh as you see him crouch down till he is eye level with you. you let him use his thumb to tenderly wipe away the tears that he caused as you saturate yourself in dreaded affliction.

he leaned in closer, his voice low but smooth. ‘you know, without me, you would still be just the sad broken girl, unable to love again. i’m the reason that you changed. i’ve helped you become the person you are today.’

his words wrapped around you like a silken noose, tightening with each sentence. you wanted to protest, to assert your own worth independent of his influence, but his presence was overpowering.

 every time you had tried to move on, to forget him, you were reminded of the times he had been there for you, the vulnerabilities only he had witnessed, the secrets you both held dear to your hearts. his manipulation was an art form, carefully crafted over time, making her doubt her own feelings and rely more on his.

‘remember when you said you couldn’t imagine your life without me?’ wonbin’s voice was a soft whisper now, his eyes locking onto yours.

‘i know you felt it too. we’re meant to be together.’ 

your heart ached under the weight of his words, the lines between love and control blurring in the fog of your emotions. you nod slowly, the fight within you dwindling as his grip tightened, pulling you deeper into the web he had spun so expertly around your heart.

‘don’t run away from the truth.’

his words wrapped around you like tendrils of smoke, suffocating and inescapable. you wanted to pull away, to escape the web he was spinning, but you felt rooted to the spot.

‘what truth?’

‘the truth that you have never stopped loving me, you were with donghyuck just to make me mad, to lie to yourself that you could move on from me when we both know that’s not possible,’ he murmured, his voice a silken thread of deceit. 

his hand moved from your shoulder to your cheek, a mockery of tenderness. you close your eyes, trying to block out the sensations, but his words kept seeping into your mind, eroding your defences like waves against a crumbling cliff.

‘come with me,’ he coaxed, his voice now a siren’s call. ‘leave this party, leave these people who don’t understand you. let’s find our own way, just the two of us, like it’s supposed to be.’

his manipulation was a masterful dance, each step designed to pull you closer, to break down your will. your eyes open again, your resolve slipping through your fingers like sand. you saw the satisfaction in his eyes, the gleam of triumph that he couldn’t quite hide, but it was too late.

your heart twisted, a mix of fear and the old, dangerous comfort of his words stirring within you.

‘wonbin, i… i don’t know.’

‘come with me, please. let’s leave this place. you know we’re meant to be together. no one will ever love you like i do,’ he reiterated. his manipulation was subtle, insidious, and your defences, worn thin by the weight of your history together, crumbled. 

‘okay,’ you whispered, the word barely escaping your lips, your willpower drained.

wonbin smiled, a wolf’s smile, and took your hand. he led you out of the bathroom, his grip firm and possessive. the music thumped through the walls, relentless rhythm that seemed to sync with your racing heart. as you descended down the stairs and walked through the crowded room, your head hung low, the weight of your decision pressing down on you. 

the party was in full swing, vibrant laughter and animated conversations filling the room. fairy lights now twinkled overhead, casting a warm glow over the crowded space, yet you felt a chill as you moved towards the door, your ex-boyfriend’s hand firm around your wrist.

yunjin and mark stood near the doorway, their expressions a mirror of the others. yunjin’s eyes were filled with tears, her hand clutching mark’s arm in a silent plea for comfort. mark’s jaw was set, his frustration barely contained as he watched you leave with wonbin.

‘i can’t believe he’s taking her again. after all we’ve done,’ yunjin’s grip on mark’s arm intensifies, her voice trembling out of frustration.

she had seen it all unfold- the sudden arrival of park wonbin, like a dark storm cloud interrupting the starry night. she witnessed your hesitation, your inevitable retreat into the bathroom, and how his figure stalked after yours not long after.

her eyes reflect a mixture of sadness and frustration as she turns to her boyfriend, ‘mark he’s ruined everything. she was so close….’

mark nods in understanding, his own brow furrowed with empathy.

‘she doesn’t deserve this. not after everything he put her through. i was there, mark. he broke her, i was so scared i would lose her.’

you had come so far since breaking free from wonbin’s manipulative grasp. you had found joy and laughter again, surrounded only by people who loved and cherished you, like it was supposed to be. and now, in one swift and calculated move, wonbin had disrupted it all.

 it was donghyuck’s face that stung the most though, his normally cheerful and bright expression now a canvas of hurt and confusion. he had hoped that tonight would be a turning point, a chance for you to find happiness away from the shadows of your past, away from wonbin and in his arms instead. now, he watched helplessly as you were led back into the darkness, both physically and metaphorically.

outside, the night air was cool and crisp, hitting you both as you stepped outside, a stark contrast to the heavy atmosphere inside.  the noise of the party is muffled behind the closed door. wonbin’s smile widened, the satisfaction of his victory warming him from within. he had you back, ensnared once more in his web of lies and manipulation, pulling you back into his orbit and away from the support and love of your friends.

you walk beside him, heart heavy with regret and self-doubt. the night stretched out before you, a labyrinth of choices and consequences, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were walking deeper into the maze, farther away from the light. the feeling of eyes watching you from behind following you.

but for now, wonbin’s grip was unyielding, and you followed him into the darkness, hoping desperately that you might one day find your way out.

[mysticmellowlove]

General Yandere hcs with us pregnant?

We’ve been married for a few years and we’re finally pregnant! How does he react and what does he do during the pregnancy?

note; they took away my yellow option, the bastards

warnings; fem reader, yan male, pregnancy, fluff, pov changes, manipulation inference,

With a perfectly placated smile he walked down the hallway of his newly built house, his perfect little slice of life with the white picket fence and all. It was a great neighbourhood, with lots of other parents around and a pristine record. Full of family gatherings and helpful neighbours who were so in love with each other they wouldn't even take a second glance over at his own relationship.

As he walked past one of his new favourite rooms, the nursery of course, he stopped abruptly. Standing in the middle of the room, her hands on her hips, was his heavily pregnant wife. With a giddy smile, he crept in and wrapped his arms around her, lifting up her belly gently to ease some of the stress. A satisfied sigh left her.

"It's not perfect yet." He could basically hear the tense tone roll off her as she surveyed the room. He'd spent endless hours with her in here organising the furniture, painting the walls and throwing down plush carpet. If his wife said it wasn't done yet then it wasn't done.

"What are you thinking?" He hummed as he also looked around. It looked fine to him but there was just something so fun about catering to his wife's whims. She had the right to be picky after all, he rubbed his fingers in small circles under her stomach.

A click left her mouth as her body shifted, her hand to her chin as she looked around. The room comprised of soft colours, soft surfaces and there was even a nice rocking chair in one of the corners, a little bookshelf full of educational baby books sat just to the side of it.

"I can't put my hand on it." She huffed. He laughed, that was a simple fix.

"Let's go browsing again, I have the day off after all."

After being together for over five years you had decided it was time for the next step, a little rascal to fill the small... gremlin-shaped hole in your lives.

Yan enjoyed the nights he spent trying to get you pregnant, it was one of his favourite parts of the day!

Of course, he always showered you in affection after, there was only one thing better than sex after all.

When he came home and found out that you were pregnant he basically fainted.

A little version of his favourite person was about to be brought into the world and he was going to absolutely coddle it.

As soon as you started to show he was like a hovering hen, fretting over your every move.

Something on the other side of the house, he's got it.

Other side of the room, don't even move!

Two inches to the left, he's wrapping his arms around you in a hug before dropping it off in your lap.

Do you have cravings, want to go for a walk, sleepy day? He can do anything and everything!

The kitchen was always stocked with your favourite snacks, he prepared some easy pot and microwave meals for you when he was out as well.

Want to work from home, he's buying an ergonomic desk, or maybe one of those lap cushions so you don't even have to move!

Don't move, and don't leave the house. He's got everything here already silly.

One of your family members is sick? They can't come over, he wants you in tip-top shape.

No stress is allowed, he will dispose of anything that comes even close.

Creepy men? Dead. Old neighbours wanting to see your belly? Threatened. Loud dogs? Relocated. Co-workers saying 'Of course she was going to get pregnant, she just wants the maternity pay'? Ruthlessly dismembered.

He does let one other lady come over, a short and abrupt older lady from down the road who just wouldn't budge. Luckily she has the same ideals as him.

Why would you go down the street if both your husband and the nice old lady say to stay at home and rest?

Are you bored all alone, how about a cat... or maybe an old dog from the shelter?

He'd talk to you through the nanny cams around the new build if he didn't think you'd be weirded out...

Anything you want, all you have to do is call him and he's there.

He just loves you so much, you're so pretty!

(you were right of course, the nursery wasn't complete... turns out you're having twins!)

[cherry-writes-stuff]

🍒 Cherry-sama 🍒 Can I request an scenario where Allen sees her crush naked accidentally, and both have a similar relationship like he and Kanda have, and her crush gets angry at him but he's like "I want to be the only man who sees you like that"? Not necessary dirty, more like something Fluffy. Thank you! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

It was a mistake.

No, really — it was!

He was the devil incarnate (which, to be fair, he sort of was) who’s favorite past time was spying on naked women.

Your aim was increasingly in its accuracy, however, when a hard covered book almost poked his eye out. Allen snatched it from the air, brought it back against his chest. “ Will you stop?!”

“I don’t know, will I?!”

He found himself, once again, at a cross roads. He could stay here and fight with you, in your current, fumbling, half naked state, or he could get out and close the door behind him, and with it his feelings — because obviously this was never going to work, what, with you trying to squeeze his eyes out his skull with your bare hands and a flimsy towel you had scrumbled to snatch from your bed only a bit too late.

(don't think about bare anything!)

Just — leave his feelings at your door to gather dust. That would be easier than fighting with you everyday, as enjoyable as it was that sort of endearingly abysmal aspect of your relationship was about to give, any day now, and you would be remiss to remind him just how much you cared; dirt under your shoes and all that sweet talk Allen loved and sought after a hard mission.

He realized, very early on in your relationship, that this didn’t exactly painted a healthy picture of the two of you. Allen was Allen ( except when he was Nea, then Allen WASNT Allen) and you were you, each your own person with individual strengths and weaknesses.

He had learned all those weaknesses just as he had learned how to work his tongue between your legs.

All this shouting, all this atmospheric tenacity he could taste if he poked out his tongue — Allen felt it in the air, it made his blood boil, though less so than the clear image of the angry tears burning hot at the corner of your eyes as you scrambled to save your dignity.

Oh — there went your sword, flying past his head and missing an inch. Allen hoped that Nea was warm to the concept of a chunky haircut, perhaps some parts of his scalp too.

(You always fucked his hair up anyway, but sitting on the floor of your bathroom between your legs, your nimble and warm fingers in his hair as you demanded silence in favor of concentration — “don’t want to fuck you up,” you’d mumble and if Allen loved you a little less, he’d tell you, laugh at you, “too late, sweetness”, but he never did. Never did and probably never would. Speak of a wish outloud and it would be taken away.)

“What the hell is going on here — HEY!”

It was only out of thought for your dignity that he grabbed Levi just as the red headed bastard rounded the corner, no doubt attracted by all the rucus you two were causing in the dorms, and pushed him away from your door which you were now trying to close on Allen's face and unfortunate fingers with a newfound strenght.

He would've laughed if he found the prospect funny; someone other than him seeing you in your most vulnerable state, soaking up the sight of your naked skin, your trembling eyelashes or the redness beneath your eyes whenever you felt wronged or tormented — pain or pleasure. it was all the same.

Allen didn't stop to see whether Levi was alright or not, simply leaving him kocked on his ass, gaping up at him.

(He’s going to apologise later, he knows.)

You were spluttering too now, one hand raised and clutching a stuffed animal you'd taken from your bed (Allen knew, he had spent countless nights in the very same bed, sourounded by them becasue you refused to put thme on the floor, if not because you liked them too much, then because you wanted to annoy him to hell and back), ready to decimate him as you threw it at him, backing away as he slammed the door shut and locking it.

He started to advance towards you. "Sweetheart."

Your legs hit the edge of your bed and you yelled as you fell, towel and all, on top of the comforter. "You fiend, don't call me that!"

You made to scramble up but Allen was faster.

He climbed onto the bed after you, knees on either side of your hips as he straddled you and grabbed your wrists. Leaning down, he tagged those wretched, offending hands up up to his lips and kissed the inside of your wrists, feeling the pulse of your heart as it hammered away beneath your chest, warm and alive and pounding.

His clothes were getting wet fromt he water that clinged to the towel. Allen couldn't say he cared. You spluttered, probably cursing him to spend an eternity in hell when he died, as if his fate wasn't already forfeit to such fate.

His existence was cursed in its entirety and you, you were the only clean spot in it. Even if you hated it, you could never refute it.

You spat out curse after curse; you brute, you fiend, you damned man, (you knew him best, after all), you clown!

Allen laughed at the last one, laughed at the sour expression on your face after too — and promptly sank his teeth right above your pulse point on the inside of your wrist.

You were going to kick him in the solar plexus tomorrow during training, throw his ass down the stairs and try to wringle every essence of life out of his neck when you had the chance.

And he'd let you.

Allen let go of your hands, finally laying his body on top of yours. "Don't be angry with me," he said as he nuzzled his nose to your neck.

You sighed. "Why did you do that, you idiot. God knows what Levi will think now."

"I want to be the only man who sees you like that," Allen asnwered, unprompted, like a fucking freak, and laid his head on your chest, right on top of your heart.

You gripped his hair so tight that you could take a piece of his skull with it if you pulled. "Prepare yourself; I am going to stab you tomorrow."

"I know."

"I really mean it."

"Oh, I don't doubt you for a second."

Every scar Allen had gotten from you he treasured immensely. If it meant that you were around to give him more, take another inch of his skin, spill his blood, cut off a limb even — whatever it was that you wanted from him, he'd only be too glad to let you have it.

[not-so-allegiant-general]

Hux making up the heroic story about the siege of Arkanis and about Brendol as a great leader, in his speeches. Simply because it's believable to both new officers and old ones, who had misshaped perception of his father or didn't know him well.

Hux giving wonderful speeches to his soldiers, making up story after story, painting his father as First Order hero.

Hux listening to people telling him how his father would be surly proud of him. How he must be proud of being a son of someone like Brendol Hux.

Hux talking about continuing Brendol's legacy, trying not to vomit.

Hux nervously fidgeting with his code cylinder under the table when, during a meeting, someone mentioned the siege of Arkanis.

Hux listening to all this praises for Brendol and wanting to scream, because he accidentally made his father immortal.

And Pryde.

Pryde who knows a bit more about Armitage's relationship with Brendol.

Pryde observing this from a distance, a little disturbed.

Pryde watching once as the most disgusting and obnoxious man he saw in his life, is talking about Brendol to Hux's face with such a delight and adoration that Hux became first a bit green, then awfully pale. He didn't even flinch when the man, Colonel Yellen, called him a bastard, somewhere between the lines.

And Pryde for the first time in his life, stepped in.

"General Hux." Everybody flinched and stood at attention, but Hux only turned his head slowly to look at him.

"Allegiant General Pryde." He said, but he wasn't there. His eyes were empty.

"I have an urgent matter to discus with you."

"Of course." Hux followed him automatically, but Pryde quickly made sure to be a step behind Hux. Just to be sure that the man is not going to collapse. In silence, he let Hux choose the way, and quickly they were before the general's quarters. Only then, Hux furrow his brows and look at Pryde a bit more sober. "You said… We have to talk?." He was clearly confused.

He doesn't remember, Pryde realized.

" I was simply escorting you to your quarters." He said "Have a good night, general." He nodded curtly and left him.

Hux watched after him for a while and then entered his rooms. He spent the rest of the night vomiting.

Pryde on the other hand, spent the rest of the night making Colonel Yellen's evening so miserable that the man was found dead in his bed the next morning.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/28/2024

we are rapidly approaching the one-year anniversary of my ill-fated cross country move. i have changed from having a bad time in massachusetts to having a bad time in texas, but this time with my best friend's shoulder to cry on in real life. so an improvement i suppose

listening

i can't fucking believe this wasn't already in my driving playlist. thanks autogenerated spotify dance playlist

-

reading

the maltese falcon by dashiell hammett. i didn't really appreciate philip marlowe the-human-detective-not-my-cat's bisexual eye for interior design and outfits until i started reading this book. this passage really threw me with regards to shoes before pants in what i assume is a fairly normal suit and not a specific type of formalwear? i have a very specific blind fashion blind spot and that's pre-wwii menswear

this led to an absolutely VICIOUS argument with my bestie bc our grandfathers were from very different eras and held themselves to very different levels of formality. hers was a fancy white collar bastard and mine wasn't. i never saw mine in a suit outside a funeral.

anyway i KNOW that the fashion in the latter half of the twenties up to WWII was for a very wide legged pant (the oxford bag) and i GUESS you could certainly shove your whole goddamn shoe down that leg but like. it threw me. socks before pants, certainly. especially if you have to fuck with sock garters. but shoving your whole shoe down a pant leg seems. well it just seems. there's an order of operations i thought was sacred for most things. was the seat truly so tight in an oxford bag. are suspenders really that awful to bend over in. so much womens formalwear is uncomfy on purpose so i feel like i have a skewed view of acceptable pain for an outfit to cause you

why am i reading this? can you think of a more on-brand book for me to read? please let me know if you do and i'll add it to The Pile

-

watching

the tremendously charming soviet childrens film The Tale of Tsar Saltan (1967, Ptushko). court intrigue! a swan princess! giants marching out of the sea! a slightly unsettling squirrel puppet shelling gold and emerald walnuts! a lot of sight gags, some lovely ballet sequences, and there are so many little moving parts to look at in each scene. at its densest it's like howl's bedroom in howl's moving castle

this was on my library's streaming platform Kanopy and i had credits to use up.

-

playing

two things in genshin that took absolutely forever to accomplish:

i finally maxed out the overall XP system (not the character XP system) so the game's just been chucking in-game currency at me instead, which has been helpful!

and i finally caught two thousand fish! very nice to clear like forty fishing spot markers i put down on my map, in advance of the forty billion markers i'll want to put down to mark stuff in the next big release at the end of the summer.

i forgot that i can use my desktop for things that aren't genshin and applying to jobs, so i reinstalled steam and fired up powerwash simulator. they popped out one new DLC in the year since i touched it, a santa's workshop level last winter. a good hour well spent. i spent a LOT of time with this game right before my move last year and it did genuinely help my anxiety.

-

making

not a fallow week but a pictureless week. ended up painting most of my best friend's bedroom bc we didn't have anything better to do on a saturday night. i think this was the hardest i've ever raw-dogged a painting project bc we had no tarps or painters tape or paint trays or rollers wider than 3". just a bucket of paint and a need to make the half-painted bedroom wall look nicer for her new job zoom training. we have to do a lot of things like move the bed and paint that wall, and paint the ceiling, and do all the trim + doors, but it does look much nicer on zoom now!

[mangofresca]

luminary

He isn’t sure where it comes from, but it’s an urge that rises suddenly, all-consumingly, with no hunger or warning to prelude it, like a countdown placed upon his life only seen as it hits zero—a flash of red, and suddenly every second ticking by is another second too late, another moment lost.

Lovino is smiling so brightly that the simmering heat of Agrigento’s summer seems more akin to the frigid winds of winter. He’s laughing—not a snort, not the contrite brush aside or sardonic smirk he gets when he thinks he’s being clever—head thrown back and shoulders shaking with mirth.

Alfred forgets how to speak, how to think or move or breathe, forgets everything except how to stare—gawk, his brain helpfully supplies, very obviously—regarding Lovino as if he was the one to paint the stars across the sky, to sprinkle indigo and amethyst across the midnight horizon, to use hardened hands to cradle the sun and bring lighted warmth to the world. As if he was something beautiful, ethereal, untouchable.

Except, he’s not; he’s not untouchable in the way Alfred previously perceived him to be, distanced by water and antiquity and a complex Lovino tends to wear like his own form of bastardized battle armor. He is there, right there, laughing, and Alfred wants to reach out a hand and–

And.

He’s touching Lovino’s face before he’s even thought the action through, before he’s even realized he’s done it, cupping his hand around the swell of a cheek and feeling the heat of it still flushed with laughter and wondrously-worn glee. He feels the expression under his palm calm as that smile fades, replaced instead with slowly-dawning confusion, soft in its perplexity, and he traces his thumb across the dip of Lovino’s under-eye, if only to savor the way those dark eyelashes flutter.

“Alfred?” Lovino asks, painfully sincere, with a tone that melds between a question and vague, befuddled acknowledgement. His eyes are wide. He does not move away.

“Would it be cool if I kissed you right now?” It’s a reply in the technical sense, an answer to a question that had seemingly been hanging in the air for longer than he realized. His own voice is startlingly soft considering the pressing urgency he feels tugging at his gut, his hands, his tongue, like if he can’t have this nownownow he’ll die, starved, stripped of life before he’d even realized he was bleeding.

Lovino gapes at him, blinking slowly. The cheek beneath Alfred’s palm burns warm, and he almost expected Lovino to blush, to feel skin stain itself scarlet beneath the pads of his fingers. He wonders if he should ask why it doesn’t.

There’s a moment where hazel eyes flick from his down to his lips before rising again, and Lovino makes a noise in the back of his throat like a hum, a huh, like he’s realized something about himself and the world and the universe. Like the knowledge of whatever it is has only just settled, and now he must contend with life now that he has it.

He blinks at Alfred again. “Yeah.”

He says it like it’s easy, like it’s always been easy, like permission would have always been granted had Alfred ever had the wherewithal to ask. Alfred files that away for later, wondering, not for the first time, if he missed something in the tones of Lovino’s voice, if something else existed in the recesses of cutting words and huffed musings and trite insults that were never really all that insulting to begin with. But that’s for another time, or maybe never, because Alfred never really cared to indulge in worries and preclusions, and Lovino is too good to be wasted on half-baked ruminations when the now was so much better.

Lovino says it like it’s easy, and when Alfred ducks his head down and leans in, it certainly feels easy, easier than maybe he expected. It feels like old nights spent tucked beneath the dim lights of New York speakeasies, of hushed conversations held in the stacks of his library, like something big and bright and cosmic had settled off somewhere far away, a revelation exploding in the periphery of his universe, vast and grand in its own private corner.

Lovino’s hand settles boldly on his shoulder, fingers brushing the hairline at the back of his neck, and Alfred can feel every inch of it burn through his clothes. Lovino tastes like vintage wine and the cigarette he had been smoking not ten minutes ago, and even though Alfred hates the smell, he thinks he can learn to like the taste if it’s been tempered by sweet reds and the natural soft of Lovino’s tongue brushing past his lips. Alfred feels Lovino’s cheek move beneath his palm, and he doesn’t quite get why until he realizes that Lovino is smiling, pulling away enough that they look like two kids grinning into each other’s mouths, lost and dumb and found.

“Been wanting to do that for a while?” Lovino sounds smug, but his eyes are bright, sparkly, pretty, his hand fisting the back of Alfred’s shirt.

For a moment, Alfred thinks, if you count eighty seconds ago a while, sure, but that doesn’t seem right, isn’t right, and Alfred can feel certain pieces of their histories click into place—not any sort of life-altering change, but instead something soft, the clink of a plate placed in front of him on the nights when he wouldn’t bother with sleep, the fresh scent of pasta and garlic bread the only thing to bring him back into his own body, the reminder that he existed within the scope of four walls, the person as well as the land.

Lovino is so close, close enough for Alfred to feel the tickle of his bangs against his forehead, and suddenly every word and every gaze and every laugh pulled from scowling lips all align and glimmer like radiant galaxies, all with Lovino at the center.

“Nah,” he says, grinning at the eye roll. “Just thought of it now.” But that doesn’t stop him from doing it again.

[satureja13]

Ji Ho's Therapy Game It starts -> here

As Sai has suggested, Ji Ho went back to his Therapy Game and get this wedding over with before Vlad goes insane.

Well, maybe the wedding is already over and his NPC version married Caleb because after he logged in, he found himself in the middle of his wedding night!? At least it was a very hot woohoo after Prince Caleb had been showing him the cold shoulder all the time! But how could he miss his own wedding? Wasn't that what his therapy was all about? -.-

Or is this influenced by his hot hot tub encounter with Vlad yesterday and just an ingame dream?

The man Princess Jihovere was in bed with held her tight and kissed her tenderly after their climax. They were still secluded under the blanket and it was too dark to see. He whispered: "You are my bride. Come to me. I'll wait for you." And then he left her. Princess Jihovere was unable to move. She woohooed! Oh my, Vlad was upset about the marriage, what would he say if he learned about that? ö.Ö' Eventually she scrambled out of bed on shaky legs to see who it was she spent the night with. But too late. The mysterious man had already turned into a bat and flew away. So it must have been a vampire! (Or a werebat? Are vampires werebats?)

It was already dawn and Ji Ho pondered about what this could mean. And about his therapy and what he wanted to achieve while he was here. He thought he'd just quickly log in today to see what happens and then log out to let Jack go back to his therapy again so he could get rid of the last painful spot. But Ji Ho also has to think of Vlad. This ingame wedding with Caleb is driving him insane. No matter how much he pretends that he's ok with everything that helps Ji Ho to heal and find his buried feelings so he can finally love Vlad. So what if there were a possibility to avoid the wedding? Plus it would be a good goal for his therapy to not always quietly do what what others expect of him and stand up for what he wants, right?

The Princess stepped outside in the morning light. Who is this mysterious man and why did he claim she was his bride? And why did Caleb avoid the Princess ever since she was here? Time to get some answers from the Queen.

She took a last view over the beautiful land she's supposed to reign with her King. But which King? Then she took a deep breath in before she got dressed to face the Queen. (This is a very hard task for Ji Ho because he usually never speaks up. He grew up all alone on his own in the Slums of Sulani and had been shoved around until the landlord wanted him to work at the brothel, like his mother. That was one of the very rare moments he couldn't bear it anymore and made the decision to leave. During his traumatic childhood, he learned to bury his feelings deep down to survive so he doesn't feel connected much to what's going on around him. He just follows Sai's lead (and Jack's hahaha) and doesn't make any fuss because he learned it's better to be invisible. Time to change that. You can read about Ji Ho's background -> here in a few short (! ^^') episodes.)

The Princess met the Queen in the Salon.

The Queen: "What is it, my dear?" Princess Jihovere took a deep breath in: "It's about the wedding. Why is Prince Caleb avoiding me and was there maybe another heir of the throne?"

The Queen: "My poor dear. I thought your grandfather told you. You've already been promised to the heir of this throne as a child. But you are right. There was another heir. He is a bastard but no one ever questioned his rightful claim on the throne. Oh, he was so happy to marry you. He chose the ring you wear and your horse. Then someone on Social Bunny started a campaign and the subjects turned against him. And so he got banned and Caleb had to step in. Reluctantly. But he's the next in line of sucession of the throne."

(It seems the Queen gave the Castle's Salon her own touch with the statue on the right and the painting of a cock ^^')

Princess Jihovere: "Oh, I understand..." The Princess checked her phone and really, there were the posts that forced the rightful heir of the throne to leave. And she understood the power of Social Bunny. Even over Royals like them. (Maybe the Princess better shouldn't step on her balcony in her dessous then ö.Ö')

Princess Jihovere: "Is there no way to restore his reputation?" The Queen: "Ach, we tried everything! I already told you that I'm not here because I wanted it. I had to step in until Caleb is married to you to prevent further backlash on the Royal Family. We had countless councelors here and it cost a pretty penny - but of no avail. If your reputation is once tainted, there's no way out, I fear." Princess Jihovere: "I want to try. No! There is no try. I will bring him back!" (And avoid the wedding with Caleb ^^') The Princess/Ji Ho has a goal! (That hasn't happened since Ji Ho had left Sulani and the other day, when he left to help his brother step over to the other side. And when he chose to learn how to love Vlad.) It's mainly to keep Vlad sane but it will also be a great step forward for himself.

The Queen: "Come, I'll show him to you." Princess Jihovere: "The real heir?" They went out in the garden of the Princess' Tower where the statue stands. Princess Jihovere: "This is him?"

The Queen: "You felt it, didn't you?" Princess Jihovere: "He is my King?!" Yes, she had felt it. She'd been drawn towards this statue since she first saw him. And maybe she was eager now to find him for herself. He's so beautiful.

The Queen: "Good luck, my dear. Even though our marriages are arranged, we can find love, you know? We'll head to Saarburg tomorrow where we have a charity event and meet the jeweller. But we will also visit the library. There are some books that might help you on your quest." Princess Jihovere: "Thank you."

'Feeling my way through the darkness Guided by a beating heart I can't tell where the journey will end But I know where to start They tell me I'm too young to understand They say I'm caught up in a dream Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes Well that's fine by me'

Wake me up - Avicii

The Therapy Game Master Post with the sessions and places so far is -> here

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest Current Chapter: 🕹️ 'The One' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[captain-mj]

London Fog Latte

Y'all remember the Selkie coffeeshop au I promised??? First installment. I decided I'd rather get a short chapter out now than keep you guys waiting so here y'all go

Ghost let himself be dragged around by Jason into the coffee shop. It was named The Sealie Cafe. 

What a weird fucking pun. 

Ghost was an easy person. If it was up to him, he would’ve went to the same coffee shop he’s always went to and would continue going to that one until the day he died. However, it had changed… something. All of the tea and coffee, no matter what he got, tasted off. Not bad, off. Like they had changed suppliers or something. 

For some reason, changing cafes entirely was much easier for him than having to adjust to the horrible change. 

His friend, Jason, was talking to him, though it was a bit hard to make out his words. He spoke too fast and Ghost still felt really jet lagged. He had just come home for leave and this bastard had picked him up from the airport literally the night before. Before coming home, he had been in fucking Mexico and spent forever in a plane and he had woke him up at too fucking early o’clock to go to a coffee shop that would be open all day.

The inside of the coffee shop looked cozy. Rustic wood furniture, lots of windows to let in light, a menu that looked simplified but Ghost couldn’t put his thoughts together to read it. There was also a small display with little deserts and pastries and he considered eating for just a moment but nothing caught his fancy. 

“They have earl gray tea.” Jason decided to help him out, noticing the way Ghost’s eyes unfocused every time he looked at the board with everything on it.  

“Thanks.” He mumbled to Jason, not bothering to look at the menu any further. Ghost went to let Jason order for both of them before seeing the barista.

His nametag read Soap. Funny name. But that wasn’t where his focus was. 

Soap looked gorgeous. He had a mohawk and gold earrings, studs with a matching hoop. No rings, probably due to his job, but he had black painted nails. 

The gold was what got Ghost’s attention initially. They glittered gently as he moved, holding the light and almost glowing. 

But then he focused on him a little more. Soap had the most striking blue eyes. 

Ghost shoved Jason to the side. “One London Fog Latte and a White Mocha, please.” He caught Jason’s confusion before he put on a stupid smile. 

“Of course, what’s the name?” Soap had a scottish accent. It was thick and added some gravel to his voice. Standing this close, Ghost could also see their height difference a little better. Soap wasn’t a small man, but when put next to Ghost, he didn’t look very tall at all. He had to lean back and look up so they could make eye contact.

“Ghost.” 

“Just Ghost? That’s a funny name.” Soap teased him but wrote it on the cup. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, but he was working food service, Ghost couldn’t blame him. “I’ll have that right out to you.”

He felt his face heat up at the teasing but luckily he was wearing his ski mask. Blushing like an idiot in front of the hot barista would be embarrassing. 

Jason tugged his sleeve and Ghost realized he needed to get out of line. 

Soap had a smile on his face, this one seeming just a tad bit more genuine like he knew Ghost had gotten distracted by him. 

Nevermind, this was already embarrassing. 

He let Jason tug him away to a table. 

“Knew you’d think he was hot.”

“And you didn’t warn me?? I would’ve tried to look nicer.” Ghost groaned and buried his face in his hands.

Jason took a moment to look at what Ghost was wearing. Dark jeans, white shirt, leather jacket, tons of rings and bracelets that glittered. Only skin showing was his hands and wrists. 

“Dude, you literally don’t have nicer clothes than this.”

“Get fucked.” Ghost scoffed at him. 

Jason laughed. “I mean I guess you could’ve taken off your mask.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Exactly! Not like you have to worry about having a bad hair day… do you even have hair under there?” Jason smiled at him, clearly teasing. 

“Yes. I have hair. I refuse to shave it.” Ghost glanced over to Soap again. Soap swayed just a little as he made the drinks. He was captivating.

“Dude, you’re staring again.” 

Ghost quickly looked back at Jason who was smiling. 

“Is he single?”

“I don’t know man. Ask him.” Jason patted him encouragingly. Ghost stared at him, thinking of nothing he wanted less than to do that. If Soap wasn’t single, he’d have to kill himself expeditiously. He didn’t want anyone to have that guilt on their hands. 

Soap actually brought their cups to the table, something that caught Ghost off guard since that wasn’t usually what baristas did. He smiled at Ghost immediately and set the cup in front of him. Jason’s drink just got set to the side. 

Ghost grabbed the cup, not wanting to take his mask off to drink it in front of him. “Thank you.”

“Not a problem Ghost! Come back some time.” Soap winked and walked away.

Jason stared at Soap’s back as he walked away before glancing at Ghost. “I’ve never seen such blatant flirting before. How does it feel to be God’s favorite?”

Ghost blushed more. “I don’t know if that was flirting.”

“He winked.”

“Well, yeah, but maybe that’s just his personality.”

Jason stared at him before reaching for his drink. 

Ghost went to take a sip of the latte before noticing the foam. It had been shaped like a heart with lavender buds on it. Lavender wasn’t unusual for Earl Grey drinks. Not unusual at all. But the piece of honey comb was, along with the way it had clearly been made to look cute. He felt himself blush more.

Before he had an opportunity to point it out, Jason had tilted his drink to him to show that he had, in fact, not gotten the special treatment.

“Dude is flirting with you so fucking hard man.”

“Okay, maybe he is.”

[midnightemy35]

~Letting Loose~

Genre: Light Angst (?) Characters: Kayden Break, Kartein (Curtin) Fandom: Eleceed Warnings: Alcohol mention, swearing

For once in his life, Kartein isn’t composed and refined as he often paints himself to be, laughing and yelling at the top of his lungs without a single care in the world. For once in his life, Kartein isn’t prim and proper, his dress shirt that is usually void of a single crease now looking like it had been crumpled into a ball just before he put it on. 

          “You’re fucking kidding me! T-that bastard actually thought *hic* that he could go up against you and walk away unscathed?! *hic* What a fucking dumbass!” Kartein continues laughing, the wine in his glass nearly spilling over the edge and onto his brand new couch. Sitting right next to him was none other than the notorious Kayden Break himself. The fighting maniac of the awakened world, challenging anyone he deemed strong enough to fight him even if they are obviously stronger than him. But why was Kartein doing with the very same man that he calls a “brainless fighting machine that has no self-preservation”? Why is Kartein allowing this man to keep him company when he doesn’t like getting involved with reckless idiots in the first place? 

          “You should really get drunk more often, you’re less of a bitch this way.” “Oh shut up. You’re *hic* you’re the one staring at me like I just birthed your first child.” “Is that really the only way you can describe it? What’s wrong with me looking at you like that, huh? Can’t I appreciate the work of art in front of me in peace?” Maybe we will never know why these two world rankers that are known to dislike each other decided to come together for a drink, at Kartein’s place no less. Kartein himself has a rather mysterious personality, I suppose we will never truly find out what is going on inside his head. As for Kayden… maybe he just wanted a free drink, maybe he was willing to tolerate the one he often labelled as a “obnoxious prick” for a couple free drinks, after all, he can’t deny the fact that the blonde had a great taste in alcohol beverages.

         Slowly, the laughter from the blonde dies down and he starts berating the other for his reckless tendencies. “I… I hate how you *hic* how you always get into fights y’know. I hate how worried I am that one day *hic* you will pick a fight with the wrong person and… and end up dead and that I won’t be able to bring you back…” Soon, tears flow down the gorgeous man’s face and Kayden wordlessly wraps his hands around Kartein’s waist, bringing him closer, consoling him silently. The two sit quietly on the couch with only the sobs of the blonde filling the air. The night ends when these two powerful men fall asleep in each other’s arms, on the luxurious couch that they spent most of their night on, talking about everything under the sun, from awakened world politics to Kayden’s recent fights. Dawn breaks and by noon, the two will wake up to bottles of alcoholic beverages covering almost every surface of the small table in front of them, a very unkempt Kartein and hopefully no memories of their previous night. 

          They could not afford growing close and falling in love, no, not in this world where there are greedy people at every turn, waiting for the moment you slip up, dragging you away to help grow their own power. These selfish bastards are not above threatening the lives and safety of other’s loved ones bring the powerful to their knees, forcing them to work as slaves, benefitting only themselves. In this cruel world, no matter how much their hearts desire, they can never be together but maybe they could come together once again and spend the night letting loose in each other’s arms, chatting and gossiping like teenage girls at a sleepover, forgetting all their worries. That night, their enemies no longer existed, the people begging them to join their organisations no longer existed, the only two people in the world, in their world, were each other. 

[jamespotterismydaddy]

Thicker Than Blood (Aemond X OC) Chapter 7

A/N: ouuu lovers quarrel

word count: 1,009 words

Last part

I sneak out of my chambers to head to the gardens, wrapped in only a cloak to cover my nightgown. It’s late, very late and this is the only time I could slip out unnoticed because my guards are switching shifts. I haven’t been able to sleep the past few nights, too focused on the strife between my family. Mother almost took us back to Dragonstone a few days ago but I only just managed to convince her that we should stay. I don’t even know why I want to stay. I miss Dragonstone and it most definitely isn’t because of him. Just thinking of the name Aemond Targaryen makes my blood boil. Things were going to be better, even good and he ruined it. He defiled our name, reduced us to that one word that haunts me at night, that follows like an inescapable shadow. Bastard.

I sit down under the trellis that I like. I’ve always felt that it was my own secret nook, a hidden gem of sorts. I lean against it and I can feel the greenery against my cloak. I admire the climbing vines. It’s peaceful here, untainted by duty.

“I thought i’d find you out here.” 

He taints it.

“You’re ruining my respite. Leave.” I say to him sharply.

“You always appreciated it when I came to find you out here when we were younger. You would practically lead me to you.” His tone is haughty. It makes me defensive.

“That was then.” I pause for a moment. “You aren’t the same boy you once were.” I know that my words will hurt him.

“I’m sorry that your brother gouging my eye out has caused me to grow bitter.” He says resentfully. He walks over to stand in front of me.

“You ruined dinner. Everything was so close to being fixed. We almost went home, Aemond.” My voice raises as I look up at him and eyes meet for the first time tonight.

“I didn’t start it. You know I didn’t.” He gives me a look like he’s trying to make me see the truth.

“My brothers were being amiable.” I defend.

“You saw how he laughed.” Aemond speaks. He doesn’t have to clarify for me to understand what he means.

“He’s just a stupid boy.” I try to justify.

“Yes and i’m sure his actions were all without malice.” He responds sarcastically.

“He’s not some devil child. You’re the one who is at fault here.” I say angrily, my voice raising as I speak.

“I am not at fault. Jacaerys is the one who got violent.” He says like he’s painting himself as some innocent angel.

“Because you called us bastards!” I nearly shout at him. I feel my anger boiling over.

“Did I? I don’t recall that part of the evening.” He says and I hate how he plays dumb.

“Will you stand here and tell me that the word ‘strong’ had no other insinuations behind it?” He must be able to see it on my face now, how much this all upsets me.

He cringes. “I wasn’t saying it to you.” The explanation is a weak defence.

“Did you truly think I wouldn’t take you calling my brothers bastards as an insult? That comment automatically extends to me.” I know he already knows this. Perhaps he was hoping I was too stupid to understand. The thought of it only makes me more angry.

“I spent the entirety of my childhood being the target of their jokes. You must understand that it wasn’t my intent to hurt you along with them.” He says, trying to convince me to understand.

“Then why couldn’t you have said something else? Those words are more than dangerous when you are speaking them about the future king. You only wished to cut my brothers as deeply as you could. You couldn’t have cared about hurting me otherwise you never would have said it.” I can see that my words ring true to him.

“I lost my temper.” He says simply. As if that could ever be enough for me to forgive him.

“Because a little boy, three years younger than you, laughed?” There's a bite in my words. I never thought i’d want to humiliate him like the way I do right now.

“How dare you speak to me like this?” He speaks but has nothing of value left to say.

So there’s no clever retort for the first time in his life?

“What is it going to be then? You’re my uncle and I should respect you or i’m a woman and I should shut my mouth?” I snap at him.

He clenches his teeth, looking more pissed off than i’ve ever seen him. “I wasn’t going to say either of those things.”

I smirk condescendingly. “Liar.” I dust off my dress as I stand. “Since my personal time has been so rudely interrupted, I think i’ll be heading back to my chambers. No need to escort me back.” I begin to walk away.

“I wasn’t going to offer.” I hear him grumble under his breath like a sulking child.

When I make it back to my chambers, I begin rummaging through my drawer until I find the gifts he had given me. I pull out the sapphire necklace.

“Myra?” I call out. “I would like to be readied for bed.” I tell her as she walks in and she gives me a little nod before picking up my hairbrush. I hold up my necklace so she can see. “Do you like this?” I ask her.

“Yes, my princess. It’s very beautiful. It is new?” She inquires tentatively. 

“Yes, a gift… from Aemond.” I say like it’s unimportant. 

“A very generous gift. Most would expect a courting announcement soon.” My spine straightens when I hear her say it. I didn’t realize until now.

He was going to court me? I brush the thought off, deciding that he was just toying with me.

“No.” I say with a tone of finality. “You will wear it tomorrow.”

taglist (comment to be added):

General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy

Thicker than blood: @bellameshipper @g-cf2020 @lady-of-winterfell @s-we-e-t-t-ea