#i had some crazy dreams too. it was like a lot of different scenarios and the stuff i could remember from it were

[aria0fgold]

What day is it-- Where am I-- What was I doing-- Why is it that whenever I be like: I'll take a nap for a bit. It takes like 4 hours and then it feels like my brain was just resetted.

[from-izzy]

proposing to you | nct dream

“Marry me,” he started, “Carry a part of me wherever you go too.”

pairing » nct dream (individual members) x fem!reader​

trope/au » ​established relationship au!, non-idol au!, marriage au! (well it leads to it)

genre » it's all just fluff and vibes here hehe, dreamies who are all very much in love with you, mark's one makes me chuckle, renjun's one makes me wanna squish his cheeks (i miss him 😭), jeno's one makes me melt, haechan's one is chaotically (?) romantic (in my opinion), jaemin's one makes me want to have pets again so bad, chenle's one makes me want to splurge and treat myself, jisung's one is too adorable for me

word count; estimated reading time » 4303 (total); ~16 mins (total)

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » nicknames; members to reader (love, bubs), lots of kissing, ...not proofread---

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

my very first time doing something like this. this scenario has been in my head for some time and i finally had the time to sit and write it all 🥰 (and also because sem 1 results come out later today and this is my way of forgetting about it uhm 🤠)

this is my personal take on how each member from dream would propose to you!! i tried to make them all with similar word count but i can't help but to get carried away with some 🥹

Mark sits on the stool, one foot on the ground while the other is on the footrest, making sure that his guitar is tuned properly and that the new strings that he bought yesterday are set up properly. To ease his tension he strums random chords and raps random words on top, making the other Dreamies lovingly judge (and tease) him. Jeno would be tasked with calming him down, while Haechan does the exact opposite of what Jeno is doing, purposely annoying him to get his mind off his nervousness. Either way, it worked well to get the lovesick boy from the reason why they’re all gathered today. 

“You both are too loud!” Renjun says when Chenle adds random notes to Mark’s singing, belting high notes that are out of his range whilst also purposely hitting them off-tune.

“She’s probably going to walk in and think we’re crazy,” Jisung whispers to the boy who scolded Haechan not long after, who decided to join in on the chaos.

“Well, the point is that she doesn’t see the chaos right now…” Jeno lets out a nervous grin, turning his head to the still-closed door, “Maybe one of us should stand outside and text someone in the room or something.”

“No,” Jaemin crosses his arms, “This is funny,” taking out his phone to start recording, making the other three facepalm at how he’s indirectly contributing to the chaos. 

In the end, the noise and chaos were too loud for anyone in the room to realise the door opening. When he noticed you from the other side of the room, hand over your mouth, cheeks rising at the scene, his voice cracked and his cheeks blushed instantly. Mark’s voice cracked and his coughing caused the other boys to be immediately disciplined, rushing to their scheduled spots in their room as Mark mutters an “Oh crap…” thinking that everything has all been ruined.

You tried to keep your laughs at bay at your pouting boyfriend, but the image of him being silly only made it harder for you to wipe the smile off your face. But soon after, you realise the decoration around the room and the heart-shaped balloons and the unique balloons shaped like rings. Understanding how this is a different occasion to a date that you expected him to set up, you blurted a quick “No, I didn't see anything!” and rushed out the door, heart beating fast at the possible connotations behind the set-up.

It will forever become a memory that you two will always bring up whenever and wherever. A slight mention of it would instantly bring out a shy Mark who hides his red face in the crook of your neck, forever in love with you.

“Ah! That proposal was supposed to be perfect.”

Your mind replays the scene back again. After running out of the room, you waited around five more minutes, trying to calm the beating against your chest. When you did enter back, your eyes were only focused on Mark who started performing the little piece that he has prepared for you. Your body sways to the rhythm and the sweet melody of his voice and Mark who kept his eyes on yours for the majority of the performance only made the moment even more special. You remember the way you hopped on stage, only wanting to be held in his arms and unable to let go. Eventually, you did and Mark got down on one knee with the ring that he had prepared for this moment. Reminiscing the time always made you chuckle and Mark pouted and groaned, knowing that you were lost in that time once more. 

A kiss lands on his lips, wiping the pout effectively from his lips, “It’s perfect because it was you, Markie.”

Renjun is pacing around the room, making sure the decorations are placed at their designated spots properly. He would circle the room countless times, making sure the flowers were fresh and presented in the way that he liked whilst his hands busied themselves with playing with the case of your ring; that he hopes will be on your fourth finger soon.

Mark massages his shoulder, relieving his body tension. Jaemin has his camera ready to take pictures whenever he can, making sure not to interfere with the small bubble that Renjun would create with you. Jisung, being more responsible than the older members most of the time stands still with a proud look on his face while Chenle gives him a thumbs up along with Jeno as well. Haechan is just as encouraging; Renjun’s threat to make sure he didn’t cause trouble playing in his head.

“I think everything is set up,” Jaemin says as he takes more photos of the venue to add for the memory book.

“You’re playing a very important role here,” Haechan comments, a hand resting on his hand, “Don’t mess it up.”

Jaemin replies with a slightly menacing smile, “Don’t mess with me, Lee Haechan.”

“To be honest, everything will go well as long as Renjun doesn’t go blank as soon as she walks in,” Chenle teases the older boy at how in love and speechless Renjun would be around you.

“True,” Mark gives him an encouraging thumbs up, “But you’ll be fine. She’ll be here any minute now actually.”

You received instructions through text from Jeno about meeting at a place, a dress code and a time “when you should open the door (don’t open it before!)”. The text is odd and when asking Renjun about it, the tips of his ears growing red from each passing second tell you that he does know what’s going on but it's cleer he wouldn't tell. You couldn’t ask any more questions after he pulled your face into his for a quick kiss, hushing you from any more questions. 

When you walked in, outfit in line with the theme of the room and matching with his, Renjun’s heart melted once more, falling in love with you all over again. You slowly walk towards your boyfriend, eyes flickering around the area and taking in the decorations as well as giving the boys a smile and greeting back. When Renjun is infront of you, he playfully bows, momentarily stumbling and losing his balance. You cup his cheeks when he lifts his head, kissing his lips, not bothering about the camera capturing it all. 

“W-Woah,” Renjun stumbles with his words, “That was nice.” 

“This whole place is nice, Junnie,” your boyfriend is relieved by your words, “You look beyond nice, by the way.”

Few minutes later, Renjun takes his position on the floor and Jaemin captures it the memories with his camera: the way it dawned on you that he's proposing, to when you finally sealed Renjun’s love and to the way Renjun takes your lips after. 

Jaemin smiles behind the camera, capturing all the moments to make a physical memory of it all.

Including getting extremely closer than he said he wouldn’t take a better picture of the band around your finger.

“So this is why you made me dress up?” Taking in the fragrance of the flowers that Jisung gave as a token of congratulations from the rest of the boys.

Renjun nods, “You look beautiful, by the way.”

Jeno and his little smile that would reach his eyes. That was one of the first reasons why you fell for Jeno but to him, it’s his default expression whenever he sees, thinks of hears anything related to you. At the start of your relationship, he’s shy about receiving and giving you affection but you didn’t mind initiating the skinship, hugging and pecking his cheeks that would gradually lean towards his lips. He loves the skinship from you even in front of the rest of the boys who would tease him about it.

“She loves you,” Jaemin wiggles his eyebrows at the goodbye kiss you gave him.

“I love her more,” he replies, his eyes filled with heart shapes.

As the relationship developed and you got a little place with him, Jeno would slowly be the one who initiated the skinship, hugging your waist to sleep and keeping you close to him whenever he could. Even outside, he would be the one to link your hands together first and show his love through the bouquet of flowers from the start of any date.

“These bouquets just keep growing bigger and bigger each time in my opinion,” twirling the gift around in your hand while the other is in Jeno’s.

Your boyfriend kissed your head, “It didn’t really change from the first one, bubs.” Content with the little giggle you gave as he watched the elevator take you both to the floor where he booked the last dinner where you would be his girlfriend and the last anniversary as boyfriend and girlfriend; the start of a new title to the both of you.

His hand is stashed in his pocket where the ring is and he couldn’t help but gulp nervousnessly. The dinner went smoothly with the courses that Jeno pre-ordered and throughout the whole date, he loves the way you fill the atmosphere with the times that you didn’t spend together for the day, him updating you on his day too. He would never be tired of hearing your voice and the eye smile on him is a clear indication of that.

“I’m going to go to the restroom,” Jeno says as he kisses the back of your hand. He approaches one of the workers there, asking for the largest bouquet that he has ever given you in their back room where he dropped it off hours before the dinner. 

You’re preoccupied with taking pictures of the view from the windows that span from the floor to the ceiling but your boyfriend’s reaction comes into view and your phone screen rests on the table once again, ready to greet him. What you didn’t expect is when Jeno kneeled to one knee, arms outstretching the flowers he had with the opened box nestling between its petals.

“Jeno?” You asked him, tears beginning to fill up your eyes.

“I thought it would be nice to ask here, at this place. We always spent our anniversaries here and even today,” happy with how the corner of your lips rises with the event, “Will you marry me?”

It took you less than a millisecond to respond with a nod and a loud “Yes”. When Jeno stood from his position, your arms were immediately wrapped around his, hiding your lower face behind his shoulder.

“I thought you were shy.” 

“I am,” heat rising to his cheeks, “But I wanted to make this special for my very special girl.”

The Dreamies have never seen Haechan so nervous before. It bought them back to the times when he was crushing on you, blushing and being giddy all the time at the thought of you. They remember how Haechan was asking Jaemin for advice for the outfit on your first date that you prepared, and he rocked up with something really formal for a casual date, mixing up the place for the restaurant as a similar four-star restaurant. It would be something that not only you would tease him about, but when news spread to the Dreamies, they used it as the main thing to tease him about whenever he was being mischievous. It did die down quickly as after learning that the memory is very fond to you, the teasing wouldn’t work against him anymore.

The necklace that Haechan gifted you that day would be a reminder of the happiness that he has been giving you from the start of the journey and just like the sun pendant that reminds you of him, you love how just a glance of it knocks out all your worries that life may have weighed you down with. 

It all seemed to be a recent memory, but that was quite a long time ago for everyone who knew what happened. Now, Haechan is waiting for you to come back home after a night out with your friends and earlier in the day, the boy who was pacing around the room about what to wear to his first date with now is now pacing around the jewellery store on the perfect ring on your hand. 

He talked with the boys about his proposal plan to which the others have chipped in and helped him with. In the end, some of their advice is taken on board, but most of them made him grip his hair and made him say, “I’m just going to wing it.”

To which Mark replied with, “Sure, dude. If it doesn’t go ‘well’, it’s another thing to tease you about.” 

In all seriousness though, he wants the proposal to be perfect; just like how you are to him. He plops down on the bed, raising the box to the ceiling as he looks at the diamond he worked hard for. At the sound of the front door creaking and your voice greeting him from the other side of the house, he pockets the jewellery in his sweatpants, jumping from the cotton to greet you.

Your arms were outstretched and Haechan brings you to his embrace immediately, “How was your day?”

“So good,” your voice muffled with the hug, “We bought friendship rings,” pushing him away slightly to show him, “We thought about this so much but we thought it’s so pretty that we couldn’t not get it.”

You realised that as much as Haechan smiled at the decoration around your finger, it didn’t go unnoticed that he was playing with the hem of your jacket. An eyebrow perks up from that and you give him a kiss on his cheek, asking him what was wrong.

He took a deep breath, took the box from his pockets, got down to one knee and opened the jewellery to you for the first time, “Marry me,” he started, “Carry a part of me wherever you go too.”

Growing up, you were never able to have pets. Your dad is allergic to cats, one of the pets that you’ve always wanted, and your mum isn’t sure of how well the family would take care of another life due to how busy life is. You totally agree with her because pets should be well taken care of as much as any other kind of life form.

When you and Jaemin were financially ready to get a place for yourselves, one of his first promises was to get a pet that you wanted. Through motivation and a lot of saving, making sure that you were both ready to take care of another life and doing all the research on how to take care of cats, you and Jaemin finally adopted a pet to take care of. Jaemin is also thankful for the added company in the house as your work schedule wouldn’t match with his and that would mean that one of you would be alone in the house. Having another pet would make the house more lively and less lonely. With gradual time and more financial stability, you were able to adopt two more that you both love equally. 

“We should get another one,” you comment as Jaemin turns off the bedroom lights.

Your boyfriend hums at your thoughts, knowing exactly what you mean. He slips into the covers, hooking an arm around your waist and pulls you closer to his warmth, “You really love taking care of others, don’t you?”

You close your eyes and hum a response, exhaling at the comfort of him next to you. “You know how I am.”

“I do, bubs. I do,” and he really does. With how your eyes light up whenever you take care of the people around you, always loving how you’re able to help out others whether it be him, your family, his family or the three cats that are sleeping soundly in the living room, it comes naturally that he’s thought of settling down with you permanently for the rest of his life; and having a little mini you or mini him later down the track. Similar talks have happened in the relationship and he thought that it would be perfect to make it happen soon.

No more words were said that night but Jaemin kissed a final kiss onto your soft lips and made a mental note to prepare for another life chapter with you. A few days later, he was able to speed through his work, being able to finish early to see the ring that he had been monitoring through the website. As soon as his eyes landed on it, he immediately thought of you and that’s how he made his final decision to buy it.

Thankfully, you had a later end to your work today and that gave Jaemin enough time to prepare a small, quick dinner as well as dressing the three cats into little outfits that would be fitting to wear in a wedding. 

“Come on, Luna,” he says as he struggles to get her paw in, “I don’t have a lot of time and I want to make mummy proud!” With this, the cat seemed to comply instantly and Jaemin squished the cat’s cheeks in thankfulness.

With each cat, he securely attached a note on their ventral side: Love, Marry, Me, and plans to release each cat one by one from the bedroom when you come in. Jaemin just made it in time, quickly scooping up all the cats into his arms, and rushing to hide in the bedroom.

“I’m home!” You routinely shouted, “Nana?” Confused about why the house was so quiet, especially when knowing that Jaemin finished work a long time ago. “Maybe he went out and forgot to tell me?” But that’s quickly proved wrong when pipping hot homemade food were neatly set out on the table. “Luna! Lucy! Luke!” Calling out to your three cats, wondering how none of them rushed to the door like they usually would.

Suddenly, the door to your room opens and you gasp, scared that an intruder is in your house but out comes all your three cats in different, cute attires. “Oh!” Kneeling on the floor to get a better look at them, “Did dadda do this? Hm?” Picking up Luna with his little white dress, rubbing your nose on hers. “What’s this?” Reading the ‘Love’ message on her stomach. You set Lucy down, picking up Lucy in a similar outfit, “Marry…” Your eyes widened, looking at a groom-like dressed Luke who sat patiently, licking the back of his exposed paw. Sure enough, the final and last note makes your jaw drop.

Jaemin emerges from your bedroom, smiling at how you look up at him in shock. He kneels on the floor, “I was supposed to let them out one by one but they got excited," he shrugs with a smile. "As much as I would love another pet,” he hinges the velvet box open, “If you would like to, I would also love a mini you or mini-me.” A hand rises to your gaped mouth, eyes staring at the cushioned ring. “But first, will you marry me?”

It seems that Luna, Lucy and Luke were on board with the idea, jumping on your lap and resting their little paws on your arms. Sure enough, you nod and verbally express your actions. The “Yes” is all Jaemin took to carefully place the three nosy cats away from you, sliding the new ring on your hand and pulling you into a kiss.

During ring shopping, Chenle would look around the places he could find and spend a lot of time window shopping on all the rings that were available in your size. He invited Jisung along on the journey and the younger boy was more stressed than him with how he was handling the situation. From the very first store, he already has about five rings that he’s thinking would be perfect for you. Jisung gave his input on each one which Chenle is thankful for, but did minimal in narrowing down the options. He even asked the other members, but it was still the same result. 

In the end, after visiting all the stores that he had listed, Chenle purchased about ten rings from each store. The employees are used to customers who are stuck between multiple choices as a symbol of love for their partner. But they weren’t prepared for Chenle to cross his arms, calmly exhale point to the rings and say, “I’ll just take them all.” 

Jisung tried to save his wallet but after deep thinking and checking the return policy, he decided to buy all the ones that his heart couldn't let go of. He'll figure out what to do with the rest of the diamonds later. Because of his massive purchase, on the day of the proposal, he looked calm and collected but inside, his heart was beating like he just ran a marathon. It was running so fast to the point that you asked him if there was something troubling him when you laid on his chest to sleep last night. Chenle shook his head firmly but from the way his finger trembled a little when he was patting your head, you couldn’t help but to question him once more.

“It’s not a big deal, I promise.”

After some time, your raised eyebrows relaxed, “Okay. Tell me if it weighs too much and whenever you’re ready, okay?”

And he’s so excited to tell you what is on his mind soon. The thought of finally being able to spoil the love of his life for the rest of his life excited him so much that with the boxes looking similar across the stores, he didn't realise that he also grabbed the one that he hadn't decided on the previous night. When you nodded to his proposal, too stunned and speechless from happiness to speak, the different ring to his expectations when he opened the velvet box made him let out the famous Pikachu face. 

“What?” You chuckled and tilted your head in confusion at his reaction, completely unaware of the boxes hidden under the bed. 

“N-Nothing,” well, it looks like he'll explain later but with the happiness written on your face and the kisses you showered him with, maybe he'll just gift the rest of the spares to you.

“Don't be so nervous,” a hit lands on the side of Jisung’s arm from Chenle, “She'll love this.”

In the early stages of dating, you were always sharing your date plans with him, planning most of them. You made sure Jisung didn’t mind them because being in a relationship isn’t only about one person. Jisung loves the way you talk enthusiastically about all the places you want to go with him and all the activities that you want to do with him. Jisung would give you that adorable gummy smile, eyes shaped like crescent moons whenever he did so. Those small event plans became more detailed, expanding into different topics naturally such as proposals, weddings and honeymoon places and Jisung being in love with everything about you, would mentally take notes of what you love for each occasion.

“I promise,” Jisung stops your words for a second, “We will do them all together.”

There was a time he was caught writing it all down on his phone to which Chenle teased him endlessly, the other Dreamies joining along at their youngest being in love. It’s not that he will forget the things that make you happy, he just wants to be able to see it all so that he can plan the perfect proposal. They promised to help him with every step when he was ready. 

Today is that day.

Jaemin tells him that the hinge of the engagement ring’s box would eventually break with how much he’s fiddling with it but it’s the only way he could distract his nervousness.

“Maybe you should recite your speech once more,” Jeno clears his throat, opening the paper in his hand.

“Jeno loves Jisung, guys. Look at him,” Haechan teased his same-aged friend. His bear-like friend would chase him around the room and Jisung would be shouting at the two to be aware of the decorations around the room.

You came in through the chaos, the door opening inwards where Haechan stops abruptly to avoid his face smashing against the wood and Jeno back hugged him as a result of that. You peeked behind the door, confused but smiling at the two. Before you could question what was going on, Renjun kicked Haechan out the door and welcomed you in.

“He’s not prepared for this,” pointing at your boyfriend who hides behind Jaemin. “Stay here while I talk to Haechan for ruining this moment.”

But the moment wasn’t ruined at all because just looking at how your Pinterest board came into life and the boys slowly giving Jisung the spotlight while you walked down towards him, everything is indeed beautiful and perfect.

“Oh wow,” you breathed out, “It's like my Pinterest came to life.”

Hearing that is the biggest compliment to Jisung who spent hours analysing your saved folders of wedding venue inspirations, trying to find a consistent theme. He gifted the teddy bear on his hand to you, pecking your lips and pulling away with a deep red blush across his cheeks. He readies himself to his rehearsed position after, “Will you marry…me?” Endeared by the way you hide your face behind the teddy bear. Yet, your answer is clear without your words.

Just like how he gives you a kiss on the lips with a “Yes” from you and the silver band around your finger that sealed your happily ever after.

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

[lowkeychenle]

the hardest part [ZCL] (M) fic teaser

Description: You, Chenle, and Jay have been best friends since before you could even remember. After moving away to pursue your dreams, you don't talk to them as often as you should. One day, you get a call notifying you of Jay's passing. When you go back to your hometown, you find everything is different except for one person--Chenle.

Genre: Smut/Fluff/Angst (please see content warnings)

Content Warnings: death of a close friend, survivor's guilt, lots of what-if scenarios, navigating life without someone you've always had around, mental break downs, panic attacks (not vividly described AS panic attacks), two people coming together to heal from grief, explicit sexual content (unprotected sex, oral sex, mentions of sex, etc. although it's not super crazy so do with that what you will)

Release Date: 6.5.2024

Expected Word Count: 15-20k (maybe less?)

Teaser Word Count: 796

Taglist: Open!! Please let me know if you'd like to be added.

Permanent Taglist: @sunnybutcloudy @neozon3nha @waffleuvs

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x fem!reader (featuring OC by the name of Jay)

Juliet's Masterlist | Tell me what you think? :)

When nightfall comes, you and Chenle go to your separate rooms. He bids you goodnight, and you close your door. You sit on the edge of the bed and take in the room around you. Everything has changed immensely since the last time you were in your hometown. Your best friend bought a house, and you’d barely even thought or heard about it. Pride in him surges through you, but for a moment, you think it may be misplaced.

You don’t deserve to be proud of someone you’ve failed to talk to as often as you should have. Losing Jay has torn your world apart, and you still don’t truly believe it. You change into your tank top and shorts, and then grab your toothbrush and toothpaste from your bag.

You’re on your way to the bathroom when you find Chenle in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and bringing a glass of water up to his lips. He gives you a tired nod.

“You’re still up?”

“Sleep on a day like this?” He lets out a sarcastic laugh. “I’ll probably have some crazy ass dream or something.”

You forget your adventure to his bathroom and approach the kitchen island. Without a word between the two of you, he goes into the cupboard to get you a cup as well. He fills it with water and slides it across the countertop.

“Thanks,” you say.

He nods once and crosses his arms over his chest. “How’s life going, though? Current events aside.”

“Life is a constant revolving door of work,” you tell him. “Working my way up the corporate ladder and all that bullshit they spew.”

“You look good. As long as you’re getting all the things you wanted, I’m good, too.” He closes his eyes and tilts his head back.

“Kind of debating if it was worth it at this point.” You sigh. “I’m proud of you, by the way. Buying a house on your own is a big deal.”

“Family business money.”

“You work. You earned it.”

“I guess that’s true. Thanks.” He pauses. “I’m glad you’re here. I don’t think I’d be okay if you weren’t.”

“Like I’d ever leave you to deal with something like this alone.” You tap your fingers against the granite, admiring the swirls of color deep in the design.

“Regardless, I needed you.” Chenle gulps, glancing at his feet. “I still do. Now more than ever with Jay gone.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t come?” you ask.

He wets his lips and takes the bottom one between his teeth. “It’s not that I thought that, necessarily, but I did wonder if you were. I didn’t hear from you, so I kind of just hoped.”

Guilt takes another stab at your heart. “Chenle, I—”

“Don’t apologize again,” he replies sternly. “Life is life. There’s no way any of us could’ve predicted this, okay? Sometimes, shit happens. Not being around a lot isn’t the end of the world.”

“It was for Jay.”

“You were not the end of the world. You didn’t kill him, for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing any of us could’ve done. And reminiscing on it like this and placing unplaceable blame on ourselves is going to make things harder.” He sets his cup in the sink.

“I know. I know that, but for some reason, my head keeps—”

“Let’s watch a movie,” he offers. “Maybe it’ll distract you a little bit.”

You agree, and go into the bathroom to brush your teeth before you follow him into his room. It’s so innately Chenle in there, you immediately feel relaxed. Some things never change, and you’re glad he’s one of those things.

“Sorry, I don’t have a TV in the living room,” he says as he pulls his covers back.

“Just roll me off if I fall asleep,” you reply, climbing onto the untouched side.

Eventually, he’s next to you, and you rest your head on his chest while he finds something to watch. He selects some random comedy movie and then shuffles to put his arm around you.

His scent is familiar, too. The world calms around you when you’re with Chenle. One out of two of your safe places has left the Earth, but luckily for you, Chenle is more than ready to play both roles.

The movie does, indeed, successfully distract you from the impending doom of everything outside. You’re able to forget, even if it’s just for a couple hours, and sink into the familiarity of your best friend.

His chest rumbles when he laughs at the screen, and the feeling has you drifting faster than you’d care to admit.

Until finally, your eyes flutter shut and stay that way, and just like that, you have the best night of sleep you’ve had all week.

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

I've been reflecting recently on why I love Bad Batch SOOOO much (no, seriously, I've been obsessed since the show first started airing and my obsession isn't fading anytime soon) while also still having some issues with the finale. And I think it's because the story reminds me so much of my own family. (Note: my ramblings in this post do get personal.)

I loved Clone Force 99 from the moment they were introduced in The Clone Wars. A band of clone misfits who are instantly recognized as different but also are close to each other and work together seamlessly with plenty of banter? Give me more! The amazingly resilient Echo is brought back and of course joins them? YES!!! So when it was announced that the Bad Batch would be getting their own show, I was thrilled! Yay for more crazy sibling shenanigans!

And then season 1 happened, with the squad almost immediately fracturing amidst all the changes occurring with the rise of the Empire. Ooof, hello reality.

I grew up in a large family with lots of siblings. We were all super close (and kinda crazy 😂) growing up; as we've become adults, however, personality differences have led some of my siblings to stop talking to each other which then bled over into them not talking to anyone else in the family. Not gonna lie, the past few years have been really hard, trying to figure out how best to navigate things so as to not push any of my siblings away but also give them their space.

Needless to say, I saw my family reflected in the Bad Batch. The Bad Batch were so close for so long, and then started falling apart. When Crosshair not only wouldn't go with his family in the season 1 finale but also seemed to be rejecting Hunter's statement that they could pursue different paths without being enemies, my heart broke even more. I know it will be a long time - if ever - that my own family members all reconcile with each other, so I really wanted this little clone family, at least, to get that chance. (Living out my hopes and dreams in fiction, I guess?)

Season 2 continued the season 1 trend of showing us both sides in such a sympathetic and nuanced way. I like to try keeping an open mind and seeing a situation from different angles/POV, both in real life and with fictional stories; so I think a big part of the reason why I adore this show is because it gave us the opportunity to consider both the main squad's AND Crosshair's perspectives, which honestly was a great exercise for me over the past few years in keeping an open mind regarding my own siblings' experiences and opinions (even if I don't always agree with them). And I was still holding out hope that this little clone family would have a chance to reconcile and be whole again.

And then Tech fell.

I'm crying right now just thinking about it.

(Tech was my favorite OG CF99 member since the moment he first stepped on screen, so his death would have been excruciatingly painful regardless; but the fact that he apparently died before the family could be fully reconciled... Well, I already know such a scenario - someone dying before reconciliation - is sadly possible with my own family, but having it happen to this fictional family just hit WAY too close to home, and I would have been equally devastated about this if any other Bad Batcher had died.)

Going into season 3, I knew there was a chance Tech wouldn't come back, much as I wanted him to. I LOVED watching Crosshair build a relationship with Omega, rejoin the family and reconcile with his other brothers, but... Tech is his brother too! With each passing episode, it was a struggle between hoping Tech would come back so the family would actually get their chance to be whole again, while also looking for any closure, any indication that Tech's memory and legacy would be acknowledged and honored by all the siblings he'd sacrificed himself for. I wanted Tech to be alive to get his own happy ending for his own sake, but if a comeback wasn't happening I wanted his life and sacrifice to clearly serve as an influence and motivation for his family. And for his siblings' sake (ESPECIALLY Crosshair's), if Tech was really dead and there wasn't going to be a full reunion, at least let the whole family heal from the loss, at least let the family honor the brother who gave everything to give them a chance to reunite.

The finale concluded, and I realized we got neither: there had been no full family reunion, and there had been no real closure/healing for the family regarding Tech's sacrifice either. (And I don't think it's at all unreasonable to have assumed the show would give us one or the other.)

Look, I'm one of those people who walked into Rogue One assuming it would have a happy ending. (Oh, those days when I was so young and naive...) So let me tell you, that ending traumatized me almost as badly as the ending of ASM2.

But, while other tragic/bittersweet endings have shaken me, it was the Bad Batch finale that literally left me feeling physically ill for days afterwards. Like, I was so relieved that everyone else lived? But it was so strange to be told it was a "happy ending" when, out of the entire family, only Omega kinda sorta maybe (if you squint) had a moment to honor their fallen brother? The family goes through all that trauma and loss and we end the show without actually resolving it, without the family actually healing? Tech's sacrifice made the Batch's eventual retirement possible, and the show won't even just say it? And to add insult to injury, after an entire season with the narrative teasing the possibility of Tech still being alive with CX2 being the forerunning explanation for it, it's all "well, we're still not going to provide any real closure on this plot point, but aren't you glad you can maybe assume Tech ISN'T CX2 since Hunter ran that sucker through without blinking an eye? Look, happy ending!"

I'm still stuck in "season 1" with my own family, so watching this story play out and ultimately conclude with this fictional family not getting full closure regarding one of their own siblings who had never been anything but supportive of all of them was... unsatisfying, to say the least. I LOVE that the clones, who were created by Palpatine to be discarded, managed to (unknowingly) strike a significant blow against Palpatine's plans. I LOVE that Omega and some of the other clones were able to choose to live peacefully on Pabu. I LOVE that Crosshair came back to his family. Still, I will never get over how Tech was handled - both the character himself and the characters he was closest to.

And I think this is part of the reason why I really hope the Bad Batch's on-screen appearances aren't completely over yet - and why, even without factoring in all the narrative ambiguity in season 3, I'm still rooting for Tech to return. Tech himself definitely deserved better, and his family deserved better too.

So there's my long-winded explanation for why there's not a single day that goes by that I don't think about this show 😅

[artificialfanfiction]

Melodies Between Friends– Part I

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Disclaimer: The content on this blog is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes. None of the scenarios depicted here are based on real-life occurrences. Enjoy the stories and let your imagination run wild!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pairing Noah Sebastian x reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

summary You've been best friends with Noah Sebastian for years, sharing everything from late night talks to a love of music. But as the band rises to fame and life changes, you both start to wonder if there's something more between you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of guitar strings being tuned filled the room, a familiar melody that always brought a smile to your face. You watched as Noah, with his messy dark hair falling into his eyes, expertly adjusted the strings of his guitar. The two of you had spent countless hours in this very spot, his small, cluttered living room jamming out, talking about life, and dreaming about the future.

"What's that one?" you asked, leaning back against the couch and letting the music wash over you.

Noah glanced up, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Just something I've been messing around with. Not sure if it's going anywhere yet."

"It sounds good," you said earnestly. "Really good."

He shrugged, though you could tell he appreciated the compliment. "Maybe. We’ll see."

You'd been best friends with Noah for as long as you could remember. You’d seen him grow from the shy, introverted kid who barely spoke to anyone, into the confident, passionate frontman of Bad Omens. Through it all, you'd been there his biggest supporter, his confidante, his partner in crime.

"Hey," Noah said suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts. "Do you remember that night we stayed up until sunrise, just talking about where we’d be in ten years?"

You laughed, nodding. "Yeah, I do. We had such big dreams."

"And now... here we are," he said, his voice softening. "It’s crazy to think about how far we’ve come."

You looked at him, noticing the way his gaze had become distant, lost in thought. "Yeah," you agreed. "It is."

There was a pause, the silence filled with unspoken words. Lately, things between you and Noah had felt different. You couldn't quite put your finger on it, but it was like there was this invisible line between you, something you were both aware of but too scared to acknowledge.

"Do you ever wonder... if things could be different?" he asked, his voice so quiet you almost didn’t hear him.

Your heart skipped a beat, a mixture of hope and fear flooding your chest. "What do you mean?"

Noah set the guitar down gently, his fingers lingering on the strings for a moment before he turned to face you fully. His dark eyes were serious, searching yours for some kind of answer.

"I mean... us," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Do you think we could ever be... more than just friends?"

You felt your breath catch in your throat, your mind racing. This was the moment you'd both been dancing around for months, maybe even years. The possibility of more of crossing that line between friendship and something deeper had always been there, but neither of you had been brave enough to address it.

"I... I don't know," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. "I mean, I've thought about it. A lot. But... I was scared it might ruin what we have."

Noah's expression softened, and he reached out to take your hand, his touch warm and comforting. "I get that. I was scared too. But... I can't stop thinking about it. About you."

Your heart was pounding now, his words echoing in your mind. This was real. He was really saying this. And you had to decide what you wanted.

"I don't want to lose you," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "You're my best friend, Noah."

"You won’t lose me," he said firmly, squeezing your hand. "No matter what happens, I promise. But... if there’s a chance for us to be something more, I think we owe it to ourselves to find out."

You looked into his eyes, searching for any hint of doubt, but all you saw was sincerity. And in that moment, you knew that you felt the same way. The connection between you had always been strong, but maybe it was time to see if it could be something more.

"Okay," you said, your voice steady now. "Let’s find out."

A slow smile spread across Noah’s face, the kind that made your heart flutter. He leaned in closer, his breath warm against your skin as he whispered, "I’ve wanted to do this for a long time."

And then, before you could say another word, he kissed you. It was soft, tentative, as if he was afraid of breaking the moment. But as you kissed him back, all the tension, all the fear melted away, leaving only the undeniable truth between you.

When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless, grinning like idiots.

"Well," you said, trying to keep your voice light despite the rush of emotions, "I guess we’re not just friends anymore, huh?"

Noah chuckled, his thumb brushing gently across your cheek. "No, I guess we’re not."

You smiled, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you. Whatever happened next, you knew you’d face it together. Because after all, you were best friends first and that was something that could never change.

[elliespassagerprincess]

Do u think u could write an Ellie x reader story based on the song emily I’m sorry by boygenius TYSMMMMMM I LOVE UR STUFF

Emily I'm sorry - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! thank you sm for the compliment and also boygenius supremacy<3

This story is based off the song Emily I'm sorry by boygenius, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading... Also I did something a little different, I took inspiration from the song, so its not 100% based off song lyrics. The over all message of the song and some scenarios is in the story:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:)

Warnings: obsession, stalking, murder, violence, gore, death, toxic relationships

Summary: In which Ellie is fucking crazy

wc: 1.7K

She's asleep in the backseat

Looking peaceful enough to me

But she's waking up inside a dream

Full of screeching tires and fire

We're coming back from where no one lives

Pretty much just veterans

When I pointed out where the North Star is

She called me a fucking liar

Ellie’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. Her knuckles turned white, her shoulders were tense. She stared off into the distance thinking about the situation she found herself in. She started at him through the rear view mirror waiting to see if he would wake up, or if he was dead.

Ellie had been sitting in this abandoned parking lot for hours now. She couldn’t go back to Jackson with Jesse beat up, full of blood and possibly dead. People would ask too many questions. Questions she isn’t ready to answer. She wasn’t ready to face the consequences that were waiting for her back in Jackson.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a groan coming from behind her. Ellie looked over her shoulder and she was met with a bloodied and tied up Jesse looking back at her with tears in his eyes.

 The two started at each other in silence for a few seconds. They both waiting for the other one to say something.

And finally, finally Jesse spoke up.

“Please tell me this is a dream” he looked at Ellie eyes wide, filled with tears. Ellie felt the guilt grow in her stomach as she heard Jesse let out a whimper when she didn’t answer his question.

“Please” he asked again “Please tell me this is nightmare”

Ellie let out a shaky breath before she answered him: “no its not”

Jesse let out a loud sob at her words. Ellie turned herself away from the backseat. Her guilt was already eating her alive, but hearing Jesse fucking sob was not making it easier. Ellie’s hands met with the steering wheel again, gripping it with a tightly once again.

Ellie looked over to the passenger seat and a small smile appeared on her face for the first time that day. You always sat there. You would make stupid jokes that would make Ellie smile like an idiot, how you would always pack lunch for her and leave it on the passenger seat and leaving a note saying “your temporary princess”

fuck. She misses you.

“You’re going to kill be aren’t you?” Jesse asked from the backseat.

“Yeah” Ellie sighed “I have to”

“I won’t tell anyone about this and what you did to Dina”

“I don’t believe you”

“Ellie I know what Dina did to your girl wasn’t very nice but that didn’t mean you had to kill her- “

“Dina deserved to die” Ellie replied quickly “you deserve it too” she continued. She looked back at Jesse when he went silent. A grin appeared on Ellie’s face as she turned the key. The car rumbled underneath the two of them as Ellie asked one last question to Jesse:

 “should I slit your throat or should I shoot your brains out?”

Emily, I'm sorry I just

Make it up as I go along

And I can feel myself becoming

Someone only you could want

Ellie was sorry. She was sorry that on that one faithful night in October that she let you walk out. If she could go back in time she would. She would’ve stopped you and locked you in her apartment.

And as soon as you walked out that door Ellie didn’t hear from you again.

You and Ellie had met at a park. It was the night Cat broke up with her. Ellie remembers sitting at a bench at 3 in morning just sobbing, but then she heard your voice for the first time.

“Hey” you said softly “I don’t know if you’re drunk or if you got your heart broken but here’s a slice of bread”

 Ellie’s brows furrowed and she looked up at you: “why are you giving me one slice of bread?” she asked confused.

“well because if you’re drunk my mom said that a slice of bread will sober you up and if you’re heartbroken then it’s a snack”

Ellie cracked a smile for the first time that night. You don’t even know why you helped her that night.

Sometimes you regret giving her that stupid piece of bread.

Ever since that night you and Ellie practically became best friends. And from best friends the two of you quickly started dating. And you were happy. Both of you were.

Until you noticed Ellie’s obsessive behavior.

Sometimes when you would open the curtains in your apartment you’d see Ellie sitting on that bench staring at your place. There were times you would walk in on Ellie sniffing and sometimes stealing your clothes. You don’t know but somehow Ellie managed to go through every single one of your contacts and calling each of them to ask what their intention with you was.

You couldn’t be with someone tracks your every move, Ellie was suffocating you. And no matter much you loved her, you couldn’t do it anymore. For your own mental health and safety, you decided to leave her.

You left Ellie in October. After dating her for 7 months you couldn’t take it anymore.

Love is a beautiful thing but the longer you stayed with Ellie the more you hated the idea of being in relationship.

And even after leaving Ellie it didn’t stop. In fact, she got even worse.

You wished you never gave that slice of bread.

Headed straight for the concrete

In a nightmare, screaming

Now I'm wide awake, spiraling

And you don't want to talk

Just take me back to Montreal

I'll get a real job, you'll go back to school

We can burn out in the freezing cold

And just get lost

The obsession Ellie had with you was toxic. It was bad for her. It was bad for you.

 Drug addicts would do anything just to get money to buy more. Just get a hit. Just like Ellie would do anything to get a glimpse of you.

She followed you around. Wherever you were Ellie was.

It was a normal Tuesday for Ellie. She hid in her car watching your apartment.

She just wanted to see you. She just wanted a little peek. No matter how small, she just wanted to see.

To Ellie’s surprise she saw you dressed up, in a white pencil skirt, with a black cropped top saying I love pussy.

You walked out the house, and Ellie’s immediate instinct was to follow you.

She knew what she was doing was wrong. It was illegal. It goes against her morals but for you she would throw away everything.

 You walked into a café and Ellie followed you in, she put on sunglasses and she pulled the hood of hoodie up. Ellie sat directly behind you. She could hear everything. As you sat in the café your friend Dina showed up.

 Dina didn’t even say hi. All she did was slap you and accuse you of sleeping with her boyfriend. You didn’t even get a word in. And Dina left.

You went home crying, you sobbed for hours.

How could your best friend accuse you of such a thing?

And Ellie watched you through your window all those nights you cried. The way you beat yourself up over something you didn’t do.

Ellie knows you would never do it.

 She’s always with you, she would’ve know if you had slept with Jesse.

Ellie saw how much pain you were in and she hated it. She wanted to comfort you and tell you it’s all going to be ok. But she couldn’t. All she could do, was go to person who caused you all this pain.

She was going to make Dina feel what you were feeling.

Maybe not emotionally. But physically.

Oh, Ellie might as well pay Dina’s boyfriend a visit.

Emily, I'm sorry, baby

You know how I get when I'm wrong

And I can feel myself becoming

Somebody I'm not, I'm not, so

Emily, forgive me, can we

Make it up as we go along?

I'm twenty-seven and I don't know who I am

But I know what I want

Ellie was a bad person.

She realized she was when she put the blade between Dina’s lips and harshly pulling it that it cut her mouth open. Ellie listened to Dina’s screams. She watched Dina cry and beg for her life when Ellie hung her on the roof. She watched Dina vomit when Ellie forced her to eat raw meat.

 People shouldn’t do this to other people.

 But you were worth it.

Ellie would kill millions of people for you.

She shot Jesse in the head, execution style, as she watched a mixture of brains and blood drip from his skull.

To make things romantic she set them both on fire. They could burn in hell together forever.

Ellie made Dina feel the pain that she put you through. Dina deserved it.

Because of her love for you Ellie became the person she never wanted to be. You made her feel and do things she promised herself she would never do. She was not the sweet girl Joel raised.

It’s all for love. Ellie was doing this all for your love.

Ellie hoped you’d forgive her one day.

She hoped you would come back to her and say I miss you lets fix things.

She wished.

She knows what she wants and she wants you.

She needs you.

She needs you to be happy and safe and that why she killed Dina and Jesse. They threatened your safety. They threatened your happiness.

But little did Ellie know she was the one that sucks the joy out you. And even if she knew she would have not believed you.

Ellie was sorry for scaring you when the two of you were together. She was sorry for the time she almost killed your mom because she got too close to you. She’s sorry that she made multiple accounts on Instagram to tell people to unfollow you. She’s sorry she broke into your home that one night when you took too long to respond.

Her biggest regret was not being sneaky enough.

Emily, I'm sorry

Emily, I'm sorry

I'm sorry

“I’m sorry” Ellie spoke softly as she stood in front of your house.

Ellie doesn’t even know who she’s saying sorry to. To you? For killing your best friends? To Dina? For murdering her? To Jesse? For killing the love of his life or for killing him?

 Even though Ellie was saying sorry she didn’t mean it. The guilt she felt when she had Jesse in the car quickly fell away when she realized who she was doing this for.

Dina and Jesse were parasites. They were dirty people who did nothing but hurt other. They deserved to die. She was happy that she killed both of them. She got rid of the people who was hurting you. And she would do it again and again. You didn’t need to know what happened to them.

Ellie raised her hand to knock on your front door. She knocked 3 times before the door opened, and she was met with your sleep filled eyes.

You looked at Ellie taking in her bloody appearance, you gently shook your head before you asked her: “who did you hurt this time?”

“you don’t need to know” Ellie replied quickly as she walked into your house.

You were never getting rid of her. You knew that. You would live the rest of your life being followed by Ellie Williams. You would spend the rest of your life grieving any friendships and relationship you had. Because Ellie was the only one who stayed. Who survived.

You were Ellie’s girl. For the rest of your fucking life.

Authors note: Dude this story would actually have a good part 2 lmao but anyway remember you are loved and to always be kind.

Yours truly,

Zia<3

[oddberryshortcake]

WHAT DO YOU THINK Lilia and Silver’s conversation will be like at the end of this Chapter? After things calm down?

(cause they Have to have a talk, twst pls 😭 these boys are overdue a conversation)

IT CAN GO A LOT OF DIFFERENT WAYS!! 

First things first, I don’t think Lilia had any intention of telling Silver anything about his past. 

Lilia lies a decent amount to people he cares about and he has some pretty justified reasons to (even if they are a detriment to himself and others, such as never telling Malleus that his magic and life were significantly depleted via hatching him because he didn’t want Malleus to feel guilty and the senate shamed him for it) 

Silver’s bio parents have been dead for over 400 years. The people who knew him back then are all gone, the kingdom he was once a prince to has been erased by history.

There’s no easy way to tell your son, who is physically and mentally only 17 years old, that he was actually put under a 400+ year old spell to keep him asleep as his home decayed around him. 

How do you even explain that to a kid? And let’s not forget Silver’s bio dad killing Malleus’s mom, which is something that is also a secret to Malleus. 

I’m sure Lilia figured that since so much time had passed, that there’d be no way Silver would ever figure it out. Lilia could give him his bio parent’s ring and talk about them distantly, not as someone who knew and interacted with them, but as someone who could simply just confirm that they loved Silver and wanted the best for him. 

Liliia promises to talk to Silver about everything, because now he has no choice but to. But that assuring smile he had, I think, is both a calm under fire sort of vibe but also, I think he witnessed Silver overcoming his complex feelings over his origins and remembers how Silver fought to live with his reassurance. 

His biggest fear might’ve been Silver hating himself for his lineage, and he did for a moment. But Silver overcame that and Lilia has the chance to finally be truthful with him and probably express all the complicated things he felt- like his contemplation over killing Silver, the fact the Knight saved Lilia and the egg, that he adopted Silver to see if he could love a human and he could. 

Now here’s a crazy possibility, what if twst throws the biggest curveball ever and wipes Silver’s memory of everything that happened (He established in 7.3 that he has trouble remembering his dreams, this includes his signature spell which he can only access while dreaming) 

Would Lilia still tell Silver the truth? 

Who knows. 

It would suck if they reverse development but there’s always a possibility. Maybe Lilia would try to continue on as nothing happened and then decide (maybe at Malleus and Sebek’s insistence) that he does need to talk to Silver about these things. 

I keep getting vibes that something bad might happen even after the overblot is over with. That’s also me being very attached to the 1959 Sleeping Beauty movie (and Maleficent 2014!) where, despite everything, Aurora is always cursed one way or another. 

Best case scenario- We get an absolute banger of a monologue from Lilia and a follow up conversation, a nice little wrap up to the question Lilia asked himself years ago. Can he love a human? Yes he can! Also Malleus is his son too, and the senate can stay tf away from him lol And the found family is found once more. (I hope this one happens)

Worst case scenario- Silver (or everyone) forgets everything and we simply wipe this under the rug. Or, it could be glossed over with no solid wrap ups like poor Scarabia :( 

One question that still remains that hasn’t been wrapped up yet is the exact reason why Silver is falling asleep so frequently when the spell he was under has seemingly been broken for years. I hope the game will address that so we can see is it Silver’s lack of self-love? Was the spell never fully broken? Will it ever completely break? What would Lilia and Silver’s relationship be like when this blessing turned curse isn’t hanging over them 

If 7.7 doesn’t get back on a plot development track I’ll cry 

[blankerthought]

transcription of george's stream

I wanted to put this somewhere so that people could access it, any spelling mistakes are my own error, i tried my best.

George states that he pre-recorded this due to several screenshots he has that add to his points and due to the fact that he wanted this to be done as perfectly accurate as it happened. He says he’s telling the whole story, so while some things may seem irrelevant, he’s including them to lay out all the facts.

TRANSCRIPT

Okay, so, this is my side of the story of the 2 times that I ever interacted with caiti in real life. So the first time that I met her it  was in Dream’s hotel room at vidcon . To give context about Dream’s hotel room, essentially it was a bigger room than average, it’s not just a bed in a room like a typical hotel room is. Essentially it’s, there was a living room, there was a table, and the bedroom was separated from it. And for this reason we used his hotel room essentially as a place where all of our friends would hang out in. Vidcon is a 4 day long event, so we actually used it quite frequently throughout these four days, and we had creators, friends, in and out of these rooms throughout the whole event.

The first night that I actually met caiti, I was with Dream in his hotel room, and Dream was in a groupchat with 5 other people. These 5 people include: caitibugs, her best friend, and three other of her friends. Now, these five people, they were at an official vidcon afterparty and they wanted to, they wanted Dream to go meet up with them and hang out with them. But Dream didn’t actually want to hang out with them, and the reason is because at the time he was wearing his Dream mask a lot and he felt uncomfortable wearing it, because it’s just, the whole mask on your face, so he just didn’t wanna go to the party particularly. He even suggested that they shouldn't come because he was assuming that they were having more fun where they were.

[Image 1 appears on camera at this point, at the left side of the screen. It’s a screenshot from a text conversation (presumably twitter), though it doesn’t specify who the messages are from. Transcriptor will be referring to the person sending messages to the phone as 1 and the person whose phone it is as 2. It reads:

1- what if ghostie and caitie come back w me too

2 - maybe

idk what my friendos are up to

i’m still at corn dogs with some friends

but leaving shortly

1- wanna play that game from last night

2- it might just be us 4

for a bit at least

1- well make it fun

2- I don’t want to take them away from the party

The last message from 2 is highlighted. End image 1 ID.]

They reassured him that that wasn’t the case, they were bored, and they wanted to come.

[Image 2 appears on the screen. More messages, presumably same people as image 1.

2- are ghost and caiti having fun

1- not rly

[short message censored by a red bar]

would u be ok if we come over?

End image 2 ID.]

So now these 5 people are trying to come to the hotel, but the problem with that is, to get into the hotel you need to have a vidcon creator badge and only 2 of the people in the groupchat actually had this badge, that was Caitie and her best friend.

[Image 3 appears on screen. A vidcon creator badge is shown. End ID.]

[Image 4 appears on screen. Text messages from someone whose name and pic are blocked with a red bar. Their texts read: passed to the hyatt? passes? 2 out of 5. End ID.]

So eventually what happened is Caitie and two of her other friends came to Dream’s hotel room. This was my first time actually meeting them in real life, I didn’t even know who they were before meeting them. And then we essentially just were playing drinking games in the hotel room, we were just having fun, talking with each other, nothing crazy in particular.

Now one thing Caitie said retrospectivly, looking back at the scenario, is that I was flirting with her throughout the night and that she was uncomfortable with this because of our age difference. At the time she was 18 and I was 26. She actually assumed I didn’t know her age because she had never said it but then later I had DM’d her on Instagram and because of this she said that it is confirmed that I know her age. To give context to this scenario and to why I didn’t know her age, my perspective of things is that I am with people that are over the age of 21, in a scenario where we are doing things that people over the age of 21 are doing, like drinking, and also the people that came, came from an event where they have very heavy security.

This was an official vidcon afterparty and with previous vidcon afterparties I’ve even had problems getting into these events. There was one time where they didn’t let me in because they couldn’t confirm the legitimacy of my UK ID, they said they weren’t trained to look at foreign IDs, so they didn’t even let me in despite me being 26 at the time.

And also since caiti’s stream, I’ve gone back and reviewed texts from that time, and there was actually a picture where it was shown that they have this 21+ wristband on one of their wrists.

[Image 5 appears on screen. It is a cropped picture of someone’s arm with a wristband reading “Over 21” . End picture 5 ID.]

So from my perspective, it’s a bunch of 21+ year olds… hanging out. I had no reason to think otherwise. Other than her Instagram bio, but I just didn’t see it. But anyway, nothing actually particularly happened at this first night that we were hanging out, everything was very friendly, we went our separate ways, and that was the end of the first night.

Then the second time that we hung out was the next night after this. So we wake up the next day, we do vidcon stuff, after we’re done that’s the final day of vidcon, so vidcon is now technically over but we have one more night at the hotel before we need to leave next morning. And actually at this point I actually had a friend that I’d only known online meet up with me for the first time. And the whole time I had known him he had lived in a different country, he was actually living in Japan. And I told him I was going to vidcon and he actually just happened to be in California at the same date so the dates aligned and we made plans to meet up.

[Image 6. Screenshots of a text conversation between George and his friend. They will be referred to as G and F. Texts read:

G- I think you’re probably good to come but possibly if we go somewhere you won’t be able to get in and that would be an L lol

I have an extra bed in my room so you can stay extra if you want (winky face emoji)

I’m busy until like 5pm but should be good after that

F- Fuck yea ill be there sat

End image 6 ID.]

Now, he arrived early evening, I think it was around 5-6 pm. We were just hanging out in my room. Dream messaged me “I’m bored”, “can you come to my room, let’s hang out” essentially.

[Image 7. Screenshots of texts between Dream and George. Texts read:

Dream – or we can do something else rn

George – I have my friend with me

Japanese guy from TeamSpeak lol

lmd what we do

Dream – who’re you with now

George – Just my friend

Dream – are you just in your room

George – Yeah

Dream – do you wanna come to mine

1607

End image 7 ID.]

That’s what we did; me and my friend, that I just met- physically, I mean I knew him online- went up to Dream’s room and we were hanging out. And again, the same scenario happens from the night before. They are trying to get him to go out to another party that they were at, and same story, Dream didn’t wanna go but was open to them coming here.

[Image 8. Screenshots of a text conversation. Two people’s names are censored by red and blue bars, but Dream is presumably person being texted. Texts read:

Red  – clay.

i can’t believe you didn’t come.

this is devastating.

Dream – the ops are here

are you still there

Blue -L

come

End image 8 ID.]

And again, that is what happened. This time, the friends were actually all able to get in, I don’t know how they did it. But Caitie, her best friend, and three other of her friends ended up coming to the room which had me, Dream, and my online friend that I’d just met. So eight people total in this room at this point.

This night was very similar to the one before, we were just hanging out, playing games, drinking, and just having a good time. There’s another thing I wanna point out before I continue with the rest of the story, it’s the way that she phrases some things in her story. Instead of saying that her and the rest of her friends had wanted to come to the hotel to come hang out with us, she said that one friend was invited by Dream but she didn’t want to go alone. So then they decided to go along with her because they were willing to go anywhere.

[Image 9. A screenshot of a series of texts between someone censored by a red bar and the person receiving the texts, presumably Dream. The first person will be nicknamed Red for brevity.

Dream -  could you borrow a pass or two

Red – YES

[censored] JUST GOT ONE

LMFAOOO

Dream – try and get one for [censored]

Red – on a mission

(Saluting emoji)

End image 9 ID.

I just think that it’s important to know already that their story is slightly different from the reality of it and I’ll be mentioning this a few more times throughout the rest of the story.

[Image 10. Screenshots between four people; three are censored with light blue, red, and blue respectively, and the last is receiving the messages, presumably Dream. They will be nicknamed L, R and B respectively for brevity.

L – we’ll keep u updated if they removed the barriers

R – clay i need to piss SO BAD so whatever we are doing

we gotta speedrun it

B – that might be easier for us to get them in

HAHAHHA

Dream – yeah it’ll be quick

End image 10 ID.]

[Image 11. Screenshot of a single text censored by read. It reads [censored] and caiti coming back to hyatt. End image 11 ID.]

[Image 12. Screenshot of a text conversation between five people, four censored by different colors and the receiver, Dream. They will be nicknamed red, blue, green and light blue (R, B, G and L) for the sake of brevity. Texts read:

R – 13 min

our guy is speeding (skull emoji)

B – LMAOO

Dream – you guys are going to the parking lot, or where? we need to discretely give [censored light blue] a pass

R – idek

G – lets strat

L – kewl sounds splendid to me

G – good shit ok

R – my GOAT

Last text is cut off slightly. End image 12 ID.]

You can see in these screenshots from their texts at the time that they were all trying to come to the hotel and it wasn’t just “oh, we need to follow her” essentially. They were all in the groupchat, and part of the discussion to go to the hotel.

I also chose to mention my online friend, it doesn’t add to the story but she never chose to mention him or the eight person [at this point the words “she actually didn’t mention the 6th, 7th, or 8th person” appear on screen.] that she brought with. So, I’m just saying it because that’s how it happened, and I want to make sure the story’s straight.

Another thing that she talks about is how I insisted that she drinks more and that we insisted on playing drinking games when this isn’t the case. Again, they’d already been drinking at this party before they arrived to the hotel room, and they’d also been the ones that were asking to play the drinking games. Instead of us insisting that we play it, they were the ones that were asking us. And you can see that in the screenshots here.

[Image 13 ID. Screenshot of a text conversation between someone censored in red, Dream, and caiti. Texts read:

Red – clay what was that app you were using for the most likely to game

Dream – it’s my secret app that you can only access on my phone with me

ya know

Red – WOWWWW

caiti – stfu

i’ll find it

red – okay we’re going to the hotel right now to steal ur phone u fuck

caiti – (screenshot of the app Most Likely To)

End of image 13 ID.]

They actually texted multiple times, specifically wanting to play this drinking game that we’d played the night before.

[Image 14. Screenshot of a single text reading “wanna play that game from last night”. End image 14 ID.]

And at this point I was pretty drunk and so was basically everyone in this room. It was the last night of vidcon, vidcon’s a pretty stressful time, and honestly a lot of people are happy when it’s over. Not that they didn’t like it, but it’s just a stressful event, there’s a lot that you have to do, and when it’s over you’re just happy and you wanna celebrate.

So at this point we then move to the couch, there was a couch in the room, and I sit next to caiti. She also says looking back on the scenario that she confused her nerves for excitement when I sat next to her, but again at this moment in time everything was friendly, nothing sexual’d happened, I’m just literally sitting next to her on a couch. And during this she was laughing, smiling, gave no indication that she was uncomfortable with me sitting this close to her.

She also mentions that she was thinking about my age and that I was a lot older than her, again she was 18 and I was 26 at the time, and again to clarify I actually didn’t know how old she was, despite her claiming that I did just because it was in her bio. And it was clear to everyone there that she was not uncomfortable with me sitting next to her.

And eventually two of the people that came to the hotel room left. Then it was just down to me, Dream, my online friend, caiti, caiti’s best friend, and a 6th mutual friend. Next she says, this is a quote, “resorted to playing games on her phone to avoid the awkward situation”. Now I just don’t see how this is the case. She’s implying that she’s using her phone to essentially escape, y’know, such an awkward scenario that she’s in but that’s just not how it happened. And this is why. She brought up the phone game as a kind of a point. The game was a, honestly the central point of the interaction at this part of the night.

It was a very social thing, y’know, she was moving, passing the phone around, we’re all playing the game, and bantering about it, just having fun with the game. So I don’t see how she resorted to it and was using it in that context. She wasn’t being awkward at all, there was no sense of uncomfortablility from her, she was laughing and playing with everyone. And yeah, I’m not really sure why she phrased it like this.

[Image 15. Three images of George playing the game that they were playing at the party, his score, and a text of the image of him sent to caiti. End image 15 ID.]

We actually continued to send each other high score updates even weeks after the event. To add further context to this moment, we were all actually sitting on this couch in the hotel room playing this game on her phone. And during this, me and caiti were at the far end of the couch, we were cuddling together. We had been cuddling for, I’d say around an hour, at this point. Playing the game, talking, and just having fun. And for clarity I had my hand around her waist above her butt. So with her statement where she’s saying that she was resorting to playing games on her phone I just don’t really understand it and I think that the picture that she’s painting is really dark when in reality she seemed very happy with the situation. Just having a good time.

I also wanna address the fact that she claimed that confirmed that I would know her age, she said that she had answered a question about her age during a drinking game, that we were talking about sex and that she’d admitted to everyone in the room that she was 18 and a virgin at the time. I just don’t remember this happening, I’m not saying this to justpretend like it didn’thappen, I did not hear it happen.  We’re not just all sitting down and not moving, you know, it’s a chaotic environment, I could’ve been getting a drink, I could’ve been talking to someone else, I just did not know that that was said.

Another quote from her stream I wanna address, she said “there was more alcohol in the room and we were encouraged to drink some more as they offered the bottles to us. They said they would join us in drinking and insisted on drinking games.” They had already been drinking before they arrived, they were drunk. And the way this is phrased makes us out to look like we’re kind of preying on them, and like forcing them to drink when they didn’t want to. When that’s not the case and as I mentioned earlier, they were even the ones asking to play the drinking games by the texts, before they even arrived.

But then this is when her most important claim happens, I’m just gonna read the quote, she says “Out of nowhere I felt him slipping his hand into my clothes, sitting next to him on the couch, in front of everyone. He disguised it with a simple ‘are you ticklish’, I coughed out a ‘no’ still staring at my phone. I was overly aware of the fact that we were in front of other people. The fact that everyone else was sitting around us, watching us, including my best friend, that his hand was inching further to places I hadn’t asked it to be.” Again, as I mentioned before, we’d previously been cuddling on this couch, for around an hour. But I did place my hand on her waist under her shirt. The way it was phrased makes it sound like it just happened out of nowhere when in reality we’d been cuddling for over an hour at this point and it was not out of nowhere.

It was also around until I started moving my hand further up and the way it’s phrased makes it seem like it happened pretty instantly and pretty quickly. There was nothing quick about it, it was very slow, and I was very cautious about it and making sure she was comfortable throughout the process. Me and caiti were very touchy, very cuddly, and very slowly got more intimate. I’ve always been overly cautious with consent and this is not just because I’m a creator. I’ve been like this since before I was a creator and I think this is just the way I am, just the way it should be. Nothing came out of nowhere, everything progressed very slowly, throughout the night. And also before I continue I wanna make it clear that the furthest anything ever got was under the shirt touching and cuddling.

Obviously people don’t typically ask if everything is okay, even such as touching someone on the waist under their shirt before they do it. But in this case I was extremely slow and she was engaging with me the entire time, laughing, cuddling with me, and even playfully fighting me through the game that we were playing. The quote that she said, “he disguised it with a simple ‘are you ticklish’, I coughed out a ‘no’”. She’s implying that I, with malicious intent, touched her and ‘she coughed out a no’ would imply that I should be able to tell that she was uncomfortable with it. She says “Later, he made it a game out of my embarrassment, where he would touch me in certain areas to make me lose the game I was playing.” Now, I actually remember this quite vividly, I remember she was playing the game and there were parts where it would be very easy to lose if you were distracted; and she’s right, I did do that. There were points where she was playing the game and there were points where it was easy for her to mess up, and I would tickle her, or like squeeze her and when I did this she would laugh, she would turn around and smile at me, or she would play-fight with me because I’d just made her lose the game.

She also says how, quote, “I didn’t speak or move, I remember being afraid to even breathe. I stayed there for a while hoping my stillness could make me disappear.” Now to reiterate, any time that I did this it was met with her either smiling, laughing, play-fighting with me, and there was no reason for me to believe that she was uncomfortable with it. She was not ‘not moving’, she was not ‘not speaking’. Of course, I don’t believe that silence is consent. I just want to make sure it is abundantly clear. She was visibly and physically responding well to everything that we were doing.

I also want to comment on how she said that she had to stand up after many minutes for it to stop. She did get up, multiple times, throughout the night, for example to go to the bathroom, to get a drink, also when her friends left she got up to say goodbye to them, and she would come back to the same scenario.

I also want to point out that her best friend was here throughout this whole… process, then afterwards he had to leave. And I think it is important to know that she made the choice to stay behind many hours more, and as I mentioned before, she did get up, say goodbye to them, and came back. They were even talking about staying up to 11 am which was the checkout time of the hotel, and because it was the final day we were like “oh I don’t know we wanna go to sleep for a few hours, might as well just stay up.” But that was not what ended up happening, and it’s at this time that caiti says, this is a quote, “I went to leave and the older guy then decided to leave too”. This is phrased in a way that makes me out to look kinda creepy, to be honest. She’s basically saying she left, so I decided to leave too, which is not the case. What actually happened is Dream had decided he was too tired and was going to bed, so the night was over and we all left.

She then goes on to tell a story about the elevator, and how I joked about it being broken to try to get her to go in with me. So caiti actually had her own hotel room on the same floor as Dream, so she actually walked over straight to the elevator when she didn’t have to, and said goodbye to me, which was nice of her. I did joke with her about coming in the elevator by pretending it was broken, I essentially went in to the elevator, the doors closed, and I would press the doors open button to make them open again. I did this a few times, and she didn’t go along with it, which I respect took, and I ended up going down to my room. She didn’t have to take the elevator yet she chose to walk with me to the elevator to say goodnight to me, which I think is interesting given how she’s saying how she was so upset with it.

But I also think these are comments of her looking back on the night and not her actual feelings at the time, and that’s essentially the end of the story, that’s what, she, the last time I’ve seen her in person was after those elevator doors closed.

We messaged for a bit after, through insta dms and snapchat and the way we talked to each other was pretty banterous, for example after the first time that we hung out but before the second she actually texted me and said “you better not be in Dream’s room tonight or I’m gonna shoot your leg”. Obviously she’s not gonna shoot my leg, we’re just messing around with each other. And I actually responded to her and said “guess what well I’m actually here right now”.

[Image 16. A single screenshot, timestamped for 3:31 AM. It reads: me [censored] and caiti coming back to hyatt. End image 16 ID.]

[Image 17. A screenshot of texts between caiti and George, timestamped for JUN 25 at 3:36 AM. Texts read:

caiti – if u come to dreams hotel again tonight i’m shooting ur leg

so don’t

George – Oh awkward

I’m in his room now

You’re not gunna do shit

The last message has been reacted to with a thumbs down. End image 17 ID.]

 And yeah, after this we texted for a bit, sometimes daily, sometimes we would take a few days break, even a few weeks at some point. And at some point after vidcon we were actually both in London at the same time, and she let me know this through her DMs.

[Image 18. A screenshot of messages between caiti and George. Texts read:

George – (image of caiti’s contact. Underneath are the words “Business chat”. A Book now button appears.)

Stfu business

I can literally book you (skull emoji)

Caiti – WHAT

yeah i’m gonna need $10 bucks for this convo

please and thanks

George – I wouldn’t even pay $0.01 for this stupid conversation

You are a BAD business

caiti – yet your still here talking to my ass

dickhead

End image 18 ID.]

Now I will say she didn’t come out outright and say “I’m in London” but she did say that she’d gone to a place that was known to be a London thing, and I commented on that and asked her what she was doing in London.

[Image 19 ID. A screenshot of texts between caiti and George. Texts read:

George – You can’t say dickhead

That’s only for English people to say

Caiti – i just drank at spoons last night

I’d say i’m British enough

George – Oh shit maybe your are British wtf

Well I drank at Simmons bar last night and you probably don’t even know what that is so you’re less British than me

What are you doing in England

Caiti -  rue said simmons bar was gay so.. awkward

and i’m living life!! The British way

parting cubbing.. etc

George -  Using gay as insult

Typical from stupid business like u (rolling eyes emoji)

End image 19 ID.]

Just to clarify we did not meet up while in London nor make plans to do so. It was always extremely friendly to me, I was friendly to her, and honestly I was shocked to hear her say the things that she did say during her stream.

When I first opened up her stream it was after she’d already streamed it but not long after, so people hadn’t yet made the connection that it was connected to me, and when watching it I was like, I was actually interested in it, I was like okay, what’s this gonna be about? And then when she started saying more and more details I realized wait, this is about me. I was very, very confused, very shocked, and didn’t quite know what to think given I had no impression of any wrongdoing throughout this whole relationship that I had with her. Not at all, it was, if anything it was the opposite. I thought we had a pretty good relationship.

Despite the fact that we actually hadn’t talked in a while, I thought if I’d seen her in real life again, everything would be fine and we would be friends. It was actually around this point after vidcoin was finished that we were messaging and I found out her age. And since than I never pursued anything going forward, and essentially stopped messaging her. Our last message was august 1st, 2023 and I haven’t replied to her since then.

[Image 20. Screenshot of texts between caiti and George. Texts read:

George – (Image that reads “Your inquiry is pending”, scheduled for 2028)

Ok I scheduled an appointment for my next available time slot

See you then (thumbs up emoji)

caiti (sent at august 1st) – (two fuck you emojis). (Edited are the words “sarcasm” with an arrow pointed to the emojis.)

End image 20 ID.]

After I watched her stream I was pretty confused, I didn’t understand how her account of the story had been so different from what actually happened. A lot of the facts of what she said just didn’t happen at all, or were phrased in ways that just made me look as bad as possible. Saying things like “I insisted on her playing drinking games”, or that “she was frozen in place”, or that she was scared. She was having fun, she was enjoying herself, she was saying this with her body language, with the way that she smiled, with the way that she laughed, and just her overall general demeanor.

One thing that I think is very important to differentiate in here is that I do believe that she regrets being affectionate with me, and that really does make me feel terrible, I never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or regret their interactions with me, or anything along those lines. Regardless of if it’s sexual or not, I am truly, really sorry if I’ve contributed towards that.  But it’s important to differentiate that she was uncomfortable with this after the fact and not during. She says, quote, “at the time, I convinced myself that I was lucky. I was lucky that it had happened to me. I was exited to be around such big creators, to be at that convention in general”. I actually had a similar scenario to this, where I was in a sexual, I had a sexual experience with someone where in the moment, I was perfectly happy with it happening but afterwards I regretted it. And I’m not saying this to get any form of sympathy, I’m not looking for that, that is not the case at all, I’m just simply saying this because I can see this similarities in the situation.

Now, I’m not mad at the person I was in this situation with at all, I have no negative thoughts on them, I simply did not like how it ended up and if I could go back and not do it, I wouldn’t have. I wanted to do it in the moment but then changed my mind later. Which is completely valid, you’re completely allowed to feel that way. But what isn’t okay and I feel is completely unfair is to act as if I am the bad person in this scenario because you changed your mind later.

I also want to separate this from abuse and certain scenarios that other people have dealt with recently or just in general. I think it’s completely fine to come to terms with your abuse over time and realize that it was bad for you and a terrible situation to be in and then look badly back on that person. That is completely valid but this is completely different. Again, this all happened within a four hour period, three-four hour period and I was not given any signs of discomfort, unhappiness or anything along those lines. And again, it was the opposite of that. She was happy, she was smiling, she was laughing, and as far as I know everyone else in the room would’ve thought the same at the time.

So now what I’m thinking is why would she come out and say it like this, why is she saying this. Now I don’t think that she’s purposefully being malicious, or trying to hurt me, or ruin my career or anything like that. What I do think is that she is surrounded by a friend group that completely despises me and my friend group. And this is quite a specific scenario that probably doesn’t happen that much, especially in public, so it’s kind of weird, it’s kind of hard to talk about it. But I think after vidcon she, obviously told some of her friends about what happened, whether or not that was in a negative connotation I do not know, I wasn’t part of these conversations of course, but she fully told them about this scenario. And when these people who are around you all completely despise me and my friends, they’re obviously going to look on this poorly.

To add context in all of this she actually mentions in her stream, I’ll just quote it, “I remember a friend seeing me in the lobby on the way and they were worried about the way I was acting and asked if I was okay. I was really drunk and it was really feeling like they could sense something was wrong.” Now, this person is in caiti’s friend group, and they were concerned that a group of 5 people were going up to Dream’s room to join up 3 additional people. Which is an interesting concern to have, I actually heard from another source that overheard this conversation and thought it was quite strange that she was worried this. I think it feels very likely that after 8 months of you being around friends that hate me and my friends and are constantly talking badly about us publicly as well and privately, don’t know what they say privately but can’t be any better than what they say publicly, obviously that is going to affect the way that you look at that experience. And it’s going to make you look at it a bit differently, you’re going to second guess it, you’re going to be thinking about it, and clearly it changed the way that she thought about it. And I think it’s completely unfair to judge me and my actions based on how you feel about it now, 8 months later, vs how you feel about it at the time. Because at the time, you were not uncomfortable with it, and I know I’m repeating myself a million times but I have to, you were smiling, happy, laughing, playing along with it, everythting.  

And that’s all I really have to say on the matter. Still keep supporting victims.

[moccabunie]

things I've learned after a year writing fanfiction

This is a post from a non-writer who, apparently, now writes (❓) And this is a little crazy to me, considering that a year ago writing less than 1k decent words took a lot of effort. But this year I have completed a +100k project. (It's still difficult, though.)

I found out that the more I wrote, the easier it was to get into the story. So I think that being captivated by my own story has made a lot. I am an eager fanfiction reader, but I had yet to really try to write something on my own.

That was until I got hyper-fixated on three characters and wrote a small story about them sharing a room, and it was one of the funniest and most rewarding things I've done. So I was like "oh, maybe I can try to imagine stories I would like to read?"

(1) story one - a bird told me to wait

The first thing I considered was to make it completely self-indulging. The second was to make it as evocative as possible, not only telling what was happening. I like sensations and emotions, so I really wanted to write things I would like to feel as a reader. I wrote this story, and after that, I added a second longer part because I was enjoying it a lot. I used to doodle about the characters and make small annotations about their dynamics, but there wasn't really a lot of planning here.

(2) story two - beneath the moonlight

My second attempt was a three-chapter story (not so distant from the previous one that can be read as three parts too). But for this one, I wanted to challenge myself because I wanted to explore new themes and tropes, so I made a brief list of the things that should appear here. (but honestly, I just wanted to write a soft mating bite scene lmao, because I was super into a/b/o at that time.) I used keep notes app this time.

I barely showed explicit themes here but I got to enjoy the story anyway. This one wasn't difficult to write because I felt familiar with the characters. It's a light story but these 20k words gave me the courage to take a step further. I said to myself

"stop being a coward. you have enjoyed this. keep writing."

(3) story three - lucid dreams

This one was planned for four or five chapters, quite in the same line as beneath the moonlight. But, and the keyword is planned, it became a full 13 chapters as I developed the story and the characters. If I wanted it to be coherent then I needed to explain the things, build the context, and introduce the world. But it was also an experimental work. I took my notebook and listed the new things I wanted to try, such as - write in past tense - write first and edit later

my process was something like this • imagine random scenarios with pretty imagery as I listened to music • doodling the characters doing things so I didn't forget • open the notes app to write random sentences and dialogues in the middle of the night, I'll find a place for them later • dream about the story and daydream about the story

as for the physical notebook, I have scribbled A LOT there during the writing process.

(a little bit chaotic but functional enough)

One thing I wanted to keep in mind was the evolution of the characters, or in other words, how they were gonna be at the start and the end of the story. And this made things a lot simpler because it gave me an insight that was helpful whenever I had to decide what kind of decisions the characters would make along the story.

Parallelly, I was aware of my narrative flaws, as well as there was a lot of vocabulary and grammar that would escape me in a different language. So I used the notebook to do writing research. Some of my pages were like "how to write action scenes," or "tips for flat scenes." Whenever I felt blocked I read again these pages.

I'm going to copy down here some tips that were useful during the writing block days.

• read another book or fic you like, since sometimes, getting yourself caught by another writer's style can help you to flow through your own. • scroll on pinterest and try to find pictures that capture the vibe of your story, maybe try to describe them or setting a scene in a similar environment that you can see? • changing the setting (for example, day to night, or sun to rain) can add more variants and ambiental tools to play with. • or, changing the character's pov. maybe a scene feels flat because it's narrated by the wrong character. • use objects, not just the characters.

(4) finishing a story

To have an insight into the plot, I wrote the main scenes in really short sentences. That was useful for the first chapters, but suddenly I had 70K words of the story and a lot of details to track. Frequently I had to split chapters into two parts because the "short sentence" became a very long scene. See this comparison: the scenes' guide in the last chapters usually are fragmented into shorter scenes. That's how I avoided losing my mind as I wrote (?)

These are a few tips that were useful to me during this last part.

• write the important plot points as they are mentioned so you can come back to them later and don't forget about them. • keep a scrip to annotate significant things about the characters to make the story consistent. • notion pages is a great place to make inspo boards (usually I added 4 pictures for each scene). During the last chapter, I used the to-do list tool to keep track of the closed story points and the things that were yet to happen • list some of your favourite past scenes, those that have been nice to write, so you can pursue the same vibe again.

The last two months writing the fic I joined the nanowrimo to keep myself motivated but also to have an impulse. My only goal was getting the habit of writing everyday, not minding how many words (usually it was around 400-600 daily). I ended that month with 16k added on my wordcount (to me, that was a lot!). Since I enjoyed that little challenge, I did the same on the next month, resulting in finishing the fic :)

The most important thing during this time was remembering myself from time to time why I am doing this. Let me say I am an utter perfectionist, so I would easily get trapped in making-the-story-perfect, which would end in a writing block. So each time this happened I repeated to myself that I didn't want to write a good story. I just wanted to enjoy and have fun while writing a story, so I should write only things I enjoy. And this simple thing was incredibly helpful whenever I wasn't able to continue a scene.

I think that this is what most writers say, but now I have come to understand that it's true: just have fun. Write what you wanna read.

(5) the next story - requiem of the sleepless

This would be the third part of my first fic. I miss these unhinged boys and I have a little draft of (unholy) things I want to happen to them! Now I want to unlearn everything I know. I want this story to be zero planned, I just want to ~feel~ the characters and make a lot of random things happen. This is about not forgetting why I started, so here I am again.

Being a non-writer writing.

thank you for reading ♡ 

[matoitech]

What are your top-3 werewolf tropes (popular or obscure) or things you wish to see more in stories about/with werewolves?

ooo rly interesting question and surprisingly tough for me to answer.. i think 'tropes i hate' are probably easier to identify LOL but for some tropes i like hmmm:

i tend to enjoy werewolf transformations however it goes in that universe's werewolf lore, whether its painful and bone breaky and screamy or painful but feels good afterward or magical and painless or whatever, i think theyre all cool and they can all say a lot abt how u want ur werewolves to be viewed and what ur trying to say w them. i think my personal favorite is like, there is some level of pain but more than anything its a RELIEF to get to shift so its worth the pain. theres lots of things in life like that and growing up i could relate a lot to feeling like i was ready to burst out of my 'shell' as in body into who i REALLY was. on multiple levels lol

pack as being a better version of family was a huge one for me as a kid. i didnt have a good home life or childhood so i dreamed of finding out i was a werewolf and getting to run away and live in the woods as a wolf with a group of ppl that loved me, that was better than 'family' and meant more. tho it should also be stated this was more like a fantasy scenario for KID me; as an adult i love political dramas in fiction so complicated pack politics seem really fun to write now. i still wrote them to an extent when i was younger into my werewolf stories too but more than anything i had the dream of it being like a total freedom and actually getting to be loved as who you really were thing. i also like werewolf universes where they DONT rly have either packs of groups that function as packs, whatever works for the narrative and lore the best, but i loved the whole pack thing a lot growing up

i love werewolves being able to be used to represent so many things.. this isnt rly a trope in particular but i love the expressiveness and creativity and originality and fluidity their stories can have and i think its rly cool how many ppl can be compelled by them and attracted to the potential in these stories. theres so MUCH you can do w them that goes incredibly underutilized. if i wanted to always write a different way of looking at or approaching or relating real human experiences to werewolves, or even just slightly different ways the werewolves function (and you have so many different KINDS of werewolves; dif levels of animal and human mind combo as a four legged wolf, furry anthro werewolves, beast werewolves, etc) i would never run out of material or alternative ideas. thereis so much that can make a werewolf story a werewolf story and a werewolf a werewolf. theres so many personal reasons ive always loved and felt connected to them. this is partly getting into the 'what id love to see' thing, but just HUGE massive potential in writing abt stuff like disability for example that u just never see. werewolves r smth ive always rly deeply loved a lot and been fascinated with and i think it shows in how like Personal me talking abt werewolves tends to get lol. this wasnt rly a trope but im counting it

for more things i want more in werewolf stories.. lots of stuff specific and niche to me personally lol, but i want them to stop being so goddamn cisgender i think werewolf stories r one of those things where the way gender is handled is so unneccessarily bad SO much of the time for no reason i can see. i guess ppl want to be '''realistic''' to animals but gender does Not work like that for animals so theyre just being annoying for no reason. theres a lot of gender essentialism in a lot of werewolf stuff? which is incredibly grating. and obviusly shitty

anyway as a dif thing one of my biggest qualms w werewolf stories is that i rly dislike the incorrect 'alpha' dynamics + crazy aggression of the pack members against each other like werewolves r Biologically Evil thing that shows up a lot in werewolf stories by ppl who dont know anything abt wolves or wolf pack dynamics, or just dont care i guess. i dont care abt 'alpha/omega' shit at all i never write that kinda stuff. so i want more things that Dont use that. lol

id love to see more werewolves who Like being werewolves lol. being realistic abt like the pros and the cons here but there is NO reason why there r so few stories abt werewolves who actually like being werewolves or at least like some aspects of it. theres not enough furries writing these things i guess. oh i forgot to mention i like never think of lycanthropy as a 'curse' unless im writing it For A Reason. other characters viewing it as a curse while the werewolf doesnt, thats another story. i think its just boring and too like horror werewolf tropey to me. being able to turn into a wolf man is not a curse what the hell thats like the coolest power ever. i see ppl complaining abt how werewolves r 'too happy to just realize they have cool powers and start killing ppl they dont like for fun, i want to see them be SAD abt it' but i dont actualy see the 'enjoying murdering for fun' a lot in media so idk what theyre talking abt. i guess horror, maybe, where the werewolves r the villains? i see way more of them moping abt how hard it is to be cursed to be a furry. bite ME then if you hate it so much

i could keep going but i am gonna cut myself off now lol, tysm for asking! i could say lots more but its 2 am lol

[just-antithings]

sorry, i need to vent about the porn addiction thing a bit.

while i’m by no means anti-porn, i do think we need to encourage healthy engagement with it (which is honestly skewed towards a heavily anti-porn bias in american society, which is not healthy. you aren’t bad for looking at porn or finding it interesting/entertaining/arousing! and let me tell ya it hurts seeing people with perfectly normal porn habits thinking they’re porn addicts and thus horrible and going to hurt someone inevitably. the current views on porn and sexual content in america at least is unhealthy as all hell, and we have gotta change that.)

but i dated someone who definitely had a porn dependency, if we can use that term. he would bombard me with hentai and other assorted lewd stuff constantly, and got to the point that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore and lied about it or dodged the question. it really sucked. there were many other issues, but he was almost constantly looking at porn, to the point of neglecting everything else in his life, and refused to talk about his problems and called me crazy whenever i tried to express concern (i. e. are you depressed, anxious, do you need to talk, etc). there were a lot more issues than just the excess use of porn, but honestly it’s the easiest one to convey (it’s very difficult to sum up half a decade of abuse the same way as “he didn’t even want me to touch him because of it, and called me crazy when i asked if he was okay”). him making fun of me for all of this and publicly saying i was clearly hypersexual for wanting to be intimate with him is still a sore spot, honestly, and getting mad when i told him we needed to discuss the problem before it got worse still was a matter of huge frustration as well. no matter how i tried to express a concern, he’d deflect pretty hard. we were talking about maybe getting married before i broke things off, and i was ready to drop all of my dreams and wants for the future because he’d convinced me that was the best i could get.

again, i have zero issues with porn itself. so long as it’s all made by consenting adults, cool! hell, i make adult content myself— it’s something i enjoy, and people are willing to pay well for it too. but i feel we need a good term for when it becomes a replacement for other things in life resulting in neglect of those other things. while i agree addiction is the wrong term and has anti-porn roots (and i would also prefer to have a term that doesn’t blame the porn— or blames no one, ideally, as i said we have a highly unhealthy relationship with sex in america) i’m not sure what other terms would be. is dependency too close to addiction and/or still gives an anti-porn vibe?

like anything that brings pleasure to people healthy engagement is important, and that’s different for everyone. i just happened to be with a selfish person who used porn to the point of it detracting from his life and to the point of it killing my self-confidence.

if there’s a simple term for this already that would be rad. but whenever i see these arguments start i can’t help but think of myself and all the others who have had relationships wrecked by their partners preferring porn and masturbation over them. it’s kinda hard not to feel hurt in that scenario. is there a specific term for porn as a vehicle for abuse, maybe? or as a way to avoid being genuine with a partner? i suppose just selfishness, immaturity, and such are all terms to use, but in this scenario specifically i just want a term that isn’t anti-porn that can sum it up.

tl;dr, i’m in favor of porn and lewd content, i just wish there was a better term for people who use it to the point of distress and pain for partners and neglect of their own health, relationships, and spaces than one coined by anti-porn and evangelical groups.

i would love to be wrong on this and have some kind of thing pointed out that it was not in fact an addiction or dependency, it was xyz or abc or what have you. i don’t want to hang onto something like that when it’s not really what went on. it’s entirely possible i missed a ton of cues (god knows i still don’t know all of what he said that was lies and what was truthful) and he just didn’t want to admit to being asexual or something in that vein (if he thought it was a bad thing or something?? hell if i know, toxic masculinity is weird as fuck), but i don’t know anymore what to think. what are your thoughts? you can delete this if you don’t want to discuss it, and i don’t want to start a purity debate or anti-porn debate in your inboxes, either. i’m just… hoping that there’s a way to find nuance, because these kinds of things definitely happen. sorry for dumping all this in here. i just want to understand a bit better if anyone has knowledge i lack.

honestly it took me a long time to decide if i should send this or not, since i don’t want to cause a bunch of bullshit or to be disrespectful to anyone in this discussion. but i figure, too, people who are also in favor of nsfw stuff and against censorship would be best to ask do i don’t get a ton of bullshit about it? again, i apologize if this is all me overreacting or not seeing something obvious. i would love to be able to pinpoint something specific or have a simple way to sum up that aspect of the abuse. if i’m wrong i do politely ask for further reading or information so i can educate myself and learn. thank you for your time and again sorry for the lengthy message!

Porn addiction (as it's used nowadays) is actually a subset of sex addiction, and you have a sex addiction when it... starts causing the problems any addiction in your life causes. It is not the amount you consume - its how consuming it at all affects your life. Like even your ex, it wasn't that he was engaging in porn and liked porn, it's that it caused what sounds like numerous interpersonal problems, which is why it wasn't a healthy engagement.

Because healthy engagement is very subjective? Like I read. A lot of porn. I look at an insane amount of drawn porn because I'm Hella hypersexual and it's Soothing to consume the porn. But the amount of porn I consume isn't negatively impacting my life or relationships. I'm only not in my slut era and having random hookups because of covid and pregnancy risk (don't suggest I just fuck people without dicks that doesn't solve the covid issue yall, also i like dick) but I have like. Real Actual Problems from being hypersexual that looking at porn helps me with.

A lot of people equate porn addiction with the amount consumed. Its not. It's about how it impacts you and your life so tbh? I'd call it CSB (compulsive sexual behavior) and start... looking into resources about helping addicts use safely. Those primarily deal with drug use, but I'm p sure you can find non-ableist resources about how to help the addicts in your life in general. I included the links I looked at while answering this as a starting point. Wikipedia is sourced and the places those pages pulled from might also be helpful.

What happened to you was super fucked up, but tbh based on my knowledge of addiction and even just a little research into CBS makes it sound like he had a real problem he was struggling with and handling badly. But what his issue was goes beyond just. The amount of porn he was looking at. It was how it seemed to have invaded other aspects of his life and had very negative impact.

(one, two, three)

[headphonemouse]

I collected some ORV ramblings. Spoilers for basically the whole thing

3rd scenario

His method to beat the monster hordes is like "I can't be killed by monsters if I'm not alive" and I want to smack him for it. Him and Yoo Joonghyuk.

---

Hm? YJH is 28? Why was I under the impression he was 27 at the start of the scenarios?

---

YSA sneaking into the break room after hours to sabotage the coffee I can understand. Why the hell was KDJ there hiding behind the cabinet? 'To read WOS-' yeah, yeah, but why didn't he just go home?

---

Probably because his work hours end at 7 (assumption. It probably ends earlier), WOS updates at 7, and he can't wait to go home before reading it. Reading each chapter probably takes a lot of time too so he might have stayed there for a good while.

KDJ is honestly so valid for calling his daily WOS reading time "an important appointment that he absolutely needs to leave ceremonies and work gatherings for" like yeah bitch give your coworkers and bosses nothing! Don't ever tell your boss what you're doing with your free time.

KDJ has noted that even though he knows a lot about history and mythology, all that knowledge came from WOS so I think it's safe to assume that he's just disconnected from reality in a lot of ways. So in a no scenarios au where WOS existed and played exactly the same role in his life as it did originally, it would be funny if YJH also existed, but he's existed this whole time and KDJ just never heard of him.

---

I've been thinking about what made KDJ so special that he had all that power as the Oldest Dream. Like, the original kid version of the Oldest Dream. The world of ORV wasn't created because YJH lived it because we clearly saw how KDJ and HSY's interactions influenced the state of the world of WOS. HSY's having written that world wasn't what brought it into reality, since she wrote many other things and none of those other worlds came into being. Based on this, we can conclude that the world of ORV came into being on KDJ's having imagined it. (Not saying he's to blame for the tragedies, he didn't come up with those ideas after all)

So this means there's just this ordinary teenager with the power to bring worlds into existence by imagining them. That was the thing that bothered me the most about the conclusion, because what the hell? That can't be right.

I think I came to a more digestible conclusion, and that is that anyone has the power to imagine worlds. The only difference between KDJ and everyone else is that the beings in the world he imagined happened to become powerful enough to traverse world lines and break the wall between reality and imagination.

If anyone can imagine worlds, then why hasn't anyone else imagined powerful world-traversing beings? Well. This is probably just the wrong world-line for that.

It's not a perfect explanation but it's better than my previous assumption.

This comes apart when you consider adult!Oldest Dream KDJ, who became the only person with the power to continue the dream of ORV, and then had to scatter himself yadda yadda I didn't really get it someone please make yourselves at home in my ask box/dms and explain anything that comes to mind about ORV.

One last thing about kid!Oldest Dream. This is teenager!KDJ right? 2 years into reading WOS AT MOST. Does he have any idea who the fuck Secretive Plotter is? Secretive Plotter drops "Yeah I lived through 1863 regressions and then an indefinite time in the outer reaches of the story" and OD looks at him like oh my god what the fuck? I just finished reading the 310th regression what do you mean there are 1863??? Would it be alright if I continued to read WOS or would that be rude? He probably hasn't even gotten to the 999th regression yet. How's HSY doing? Can they find her and release her from her desperate scramble to keep him alive? Drop a comment like 'Omg hi author-nim so, crazy story, the protagonist of your novel came and picked me up from the train station so now he, I, and a gang of other companions are living together in a big house wanna come over for dinner some time? Yeah, uhuh, no I don't think this counts as kidnapping, it's the protagonist of the novel you'll finish in 10 years, yeah, he says he's the one who sent you to the 1863rd round- what do you mean you didn't know YJH was the Secretive Plotter' (I forgot this was supposed to be a comment so I ended up writing it like a phone conversation)

[sunsetshifting]

https://www.tumblr.com/sunsetshifting/720973845043052544/oh-my-god-im-so-sorry-i-totally-dropped-off-the?source=share

OMG HIHI! AHHHH I really missed seeing u active on ur page since u grew to be my fav shifting acc 😭 DONT APOLOGIZE IM JUST GLAD UR OKAY, how’ve you been? 🫶🏼

KSDFJJLKDN I didn't think anyone would notice me dropping off omg (Also i'm bumping this one to the top ahead of the other asks real fast just so I can assuage any worries!! Promise the rest of the asks will still be answered <33)

I'm so happy you like my account so much!!! /gen 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Things could definitely be better;; got some really bad medical news for my grandpa :( so we're all spending as much time with him as we can. (Hence why I've been gone the last 2-3 weeks, real stressed abt it.) Gonna see him later today, actually, before I go and see my other grandparents^^

Plus all the struggle with finding a job (sooo many places want you to be 21+ or able to regularly lift 50+ pounds, neither of which I can fulfil. I've got money saved up, though, and a reliable and safe place to live, so dw about me!!)

Other than that, I've been scripting like crazy. I just scripted my 39th desired reality 😭😭which is a little nutty to think about, but super fun, regardless! I scripted all sorts of goofy DRs (including a cowboy au of Obey Me), and managed to get pretty close to shifting on a few different nights! I'm still relying on the lucid dream method, so I'm trying to boost my dream recall as well (bc I heard that helps^^.)

I'm glad there's still interest in my blog~ I've never had people notice my absence before haha!

I'll be answering all my other asks here soon, as well as posting some more stuff related to shifting (maybe some scenario ideas or another template? Both are pretty fun!) so hopefully everyone can enjoy those! <3

Blblblbl sorry for rambling a bit, but TLDR, I'm stressed but mostly happy! I've got a lot of good things to keep my mood up^^ (Not to mention the exciting changes being on testosterone is bringing!)

Thank you for asking how I am <33 I hope you're doing well, too!!

<3 Happy Shifting, you silly geese /pos <3

[baekhvuns]

They'll probably have an American tour in summer 2023 🤡 say this to me and my avocado toast Baeksy 💀 nah, but avocado on its own isn't particularly tasty, but I love guacamole and smashed avocado on bread

Also, a lot of those stalkers aren't really fans, like that one Yeosang fansite who shits on him??? Yet follows him around, like? Get a fucking job, bitch

The MOTH novel is so fucking looooong and on-going. It gets spicy cause there are even kids involved. Oh, bestie I read some things on Mr Knight and yeah he did get attention, however he also fucked up. 🔪 I was shook to read who the first father of Latil's baby was, but now there's a new child coming and I hope it's Tasir's 😊 (even though fuck them kids ofc) let's see if the Webtoon ever gets there though. I read one scene between Tasir and Latil that was posted on Tumblr and wheeeeewooooo 👀

The Premier League this season is crazy, Newcastle so high?! No more 4rsen4l 😭 I remember Mbappe's debut at WC in 2018 I was really impressed by him and followed him ever since, also wanted him in RM, but his Frenchiness is showing 😭 stop the arrogance. Football is not going home, oh well... I feel bad for Croatia and Morocco 💔 but they did well

Right, sometimes I'm like "what a shame I don't follow NCT and RV, cause their albums design?! Amazing" but it's better for my wallet. I think Jinni must have violet the contract at some point, not necessarily in a bad way, people are too quick to accuse her of shit... Orbits are really boycotting the comeback (it's sad, cause it looks pretty cool so far, but deserved), I've never thought kpop boycotts could work, but wow

I lost the sight of the 🦘🥊 and was paranoid they'd jump on me once I leave the house akhshahsjshshdhhs. ETL is reserved for me in my dreams, yes 💖 actually yeah, one of my friends had some hate sexual activities that resulted in a relationship and my friend's cousin has recently found herself in a ETL scenario, tho I don't know the details

Southern France is nice! Definitely recommend it more than Paris. Côte d'Azur is pretty.

I'm waiting for lilac Hwa, he even told me he'd like to try purple and remember that random lilac shade he had in Fever Road? It was pretty 😍 Hongjoong needs to do blue again, or Mingi... anyways, yessss long haired Teezers PLSSSS. Seonghwa with hair like this a girl can dream

No because I was about to say FLORIST HWA IS REAL 😌

The beef dumbtinys have with Eden and clam he hates Yeosang 😬 get some help, people. Like I said, there's room for improvement, but he made so many bangers, leave him be

The way he looks here, but he's holding his plush baby so gently. I'll eat him, a silly goofy man

Speaking of SG. COLLAB!!!

I usually pay very little attention to JP albums cause they mostly remixes. The intro and outro is nice, though I don't like Paradigm the song 😭I hope this new song is different and makes me pay attention to this cb (but it's kinda messy, it came out of nowhere and they drop shit suddenly, everyone's broke, the Europe exclusive pre-sale from hello82 was posted AT 4-5AM our time?!?!, the versions are idk... I'm not buying any kpop stuff atm, but I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna purchase it. Maybe the limited version only)

AAAAAAAAAWOOOOOOOOO?!?!?! Giving crucifixion but hot 😳😳😳😳 if he needs bandage person I'm available 24/7

Also tomorrow's KBS Gayo is Y2K themed hmmmm, hope stylists do a decent job

Heeeeeyyy how you feeling? - DV 💖

hi hello!!

They'll probably have an American tour in summer 2023 🤡 say this to me and my avocado toast Baeksy 💀 nah, but avocado on its own isn't particularly tasty, but I love guacamole and smashed avocado on bread

STOP 😭😭😭 IF THEY DO THEN THEYLL FOLLOW IT UP WITH A EURO ONE TOO 🤚🏼 i just think the avocado tastes a lot like grass and earth fbwkfhwk maybe it’s the type i ate but it’s left a bad taste 😭😭

Also, a lot of those stalkers aren't really fans, like that one Yeosang fansite who shits on him??? Yet follows him around, like? Get a fucking job, bitch

half of those fansites are people are whole adults! taking it to social media to shit on them like girlie, worry about your next shift? retirement plans?? obviously not everyone 30+ person is like that but somehow, the fansites turn out be them and it just makes me wonder how much time u got, like if a 20 year old is mad busy BUT YOURE NOT??? HOWIE ???

The MOTH novel is so fucking looooong and on-going. It gets spicy cause there are even kids involved. Oh, bestie I read some things on Mr Knight and yeah he did get attention, however he also fucked up. 🔪 I was shook to read who the first father of Latil's baby was, but now there's a new child coming and I hope it's Tasir's 😊 (even though fuck them kids ofc) let's see if the Webtoon ever gets there though. I read one scene between Tasir and Latil that was posted on Tumblr and wheeeeewooooo 👀

IM SORRY WE GOT KIDS???? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCKRJWLFHWK IF U HEARD A SCREAM IT WAS ME, T’WAS ME !!!!! omg he got attention? WHAT DID HE DO STOPPPPP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 whims the baby daddy, tell me idc i will not read this fic, i need u to tell me who married latil, if sonnaught married her, if tasir latil sonnaught have a poly au- who the father is, who the kid is and who does it look like, is it bot or a girl, hair style I NEED EVERYTHING! GIMME THE BIO DATA!

The Premier League this season is crazy, Newcastle so high?! No more 4rsen4l 😭 I remember Mbappe's debut at WC in 2018 I was really impressed by him and followed him ever since, also wanted him in RM, but his Frenchiness is showing 😭 stop the arrogance. Football is not going home, oh well... I feel bad for Croatia and Morocco 💔 but they did well

NO SERIOUSLY WHATS GOING ON FBWNDHEJ this entire year is so u predictable when it comes to footbal, THE WAY HE REJECTED RM FBWMDBWK 🔫🔫🔫🔫 his french ness really is showing bc man what an ego this guy got 😭🤚🏼 football aint going home but the harry meghan docu series is 😭😭🤚🏼 STOPP I DO TOO ESP FOR MOROCCO BC THEY PLAYED SO WELL THEIR DEFENSE? NOT EVEN MBAPPE GOT THRU tbh france winned thru loophole, narrowly won bc mr was not letting them go thru, what a team 🫡 their defense sent half the french players to the hospital 🫡 hopefully the 3rd place play off’s be well to the teams! kinda cried at this thread

Right, sometimes I'm like "what a shame I don't follow NCT and RV, cause their albums design?! Amazing" but it's better for my wallet. I think Jinni must have violet the contract at some point, not necessarily in a bad way, people are too quick to accuse her of shit... Orbits are really boycotting the comeback (it's sad, cause it looks pretty cool so far, but deserved), I've never thought kpop boycotts could work, but wow

YEAAAHH the album aesthetics of sm are truly top tier >>> also wtf???? yg sucks with albums, they always do the ugly ones,,, ahhhh ur right, hopefully she’s away from social media and the comments and focusing on being well! kpop boycott of mama couldn’t work i doubt this one will once the release date is closer tbh 😭😭😭

I lost the sight of the 🦘🥊 and was paranoid they'd jump on me once I leave the house akhshahsjshshdhhs. ETL is reserved for me in my dreams, yes 💖 actually yeah, one of my friends had some hate sexual activities that resulted in a relationship and my friend's cousin has recently found herself in a ETL scenario, tho I don't know the details

NAURRRRRR FBWMDHWK NEWS ON AUSTRALIA “TOURIST JUMPED BY TWO FIGHTING KANGAROOS!” SCREAMING GFBDHD,, WHEN IS UR ETL COMING !!!! MANIFESTING SOME WORK ETL OR NEIGHBOUR ETL 🤚🏼🤚🏼 o…my god. so ur saying ETL can actually happen 😮😮

Southern France is nice! Definitely recommend it more than Paris. Côte d'Azur is pretty. //// I'm waiting for lilac Hwa, he even told me he'd like to try purple and remember that random lilac shade he had in Fever Road? It was pretty 😍 Hongjoong needs to do blue again, or Mingi... anyways, yessss long haired Teezers PLSSSS. Seonghwa with hair like this a girl can dream

i just looked it up and omg it’s sO PRETTY ill def go there saint tropez, cannes cassis! STOP IT DONT MANIFEST IT IF UR NOT GONNA GET TO SEE IT, LET IT BE SOME BASIC COLOUR FHWKDHSK no bc blue hong was legendary, i always see him as blue silver or red headed, blue was so legendary jcbsks MINGI LONG HAIR BESTIE FHWJDHWK

No because I was about to say FLORIST HWA IS REAL 😌 //// The beef dumbtinys have with Eden and clam he hates Yeosang 😬 get some help, people. Like I said, there's room for improvement, but he made so many bangers, leave him be

bestie u are the psychic, ur want came true 🤲🏼 NO REALLY THIS BEEF GOTTA STOP 😭😭😭 if he hated yeosang, he’d do much more than just not give him lines c’mon 😭😭 no yeah, let them vibe, this beef will just strain their relationship if it reaches them, itll do more harm than good

The way he looks here, but he's holding his plush baby so gently. I'll eat him, a silly goofy man //// Speaking of SG. COLLAB!!!

tell me is that not bbhwa going soft, SORRY WHAT HAPPENED IN THE SECOND EDIT DHAKDHWKDHWKD THE ASS LETTER WRITING 😭😭😭

STOP BC DC AND ATZ DROPPING A BANGER WOULD END ME, DAMI AND MINGI DUO 🤲🏼🤲🏼 ON MY KNEES DAMNIT

I usually pay very little attention to JP albums cause they mostly remixes. The intro and outro is nice, though I don't like Paradigm the song 😭I hope this new song is different and makes me pay attention to this cb (but it's kinda messy, it came out of nowhere and they drop shit suddenly, everyone's broke, the Europe exclusive pre-sale from hello82 was posted AT 4-5AM our time?!?!, the versions are idk... I'm not buying any kpop stuff atm, but I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna purchase it. Maybe the limited version only)

imma say it sounds pretty messy, my personal opinion is that their voices are so loud and sharp and the instrumentals quite loud as well so it makes it an awkward mismatch in my opinion 😭😭 this cb is def not necessary but let’s see how it plays! hopefully they get enough rest before the euro tour!! NO BC THERES NO 12PM KST ANYMORE THEYRE DROPPING IT WHENEVER THEY LIKE FBENDB im also thinking of not purchasing it tbh, maybe if the hwa pictures give my heart a change but id tbh save the money bc recession is upOn US

AAAAAAAAAWOOOOOOOOO?!?!?! Giving crucifixion but hot 😳😳😳😳 if he needs bandage person I'm available 24/7

Also tomorrow's KBS Gayo is Y2K themed hmmmm, hope stylists do a decent job

GET THE FUCK OUT NOT THE CRUCIFIXION AGNWMBDWKJDWKDBWKDH THE BANDAGES 😀😀 BOXER PARK SEONGHWA IN YOUR AREAAA,,, no bc the theme is Y2K watch jongho pull up in all black 😭😭 WHERE IS THE Y2K

Heeeeeyyy how you feeling? - DV 💖

i.

come back confirmed.

character of men of harem u say

giving edward cullen a run for his money

[misterbitches]

(SNOB vOICE excuse me for talking abt myself on my own blog 2 no one...im always sf paranoid ppl think i'm being more pretentious than i actually am if they stumble upon my untagged posts)

i'm not a creative writer which is why i went to film school and not real school and write scripts. but i'll watch something dumb and post fics every now and then. so during lockdown i got this crazy idea in my head abt this very self-indulgent ridiculously boring but fun-for-me character study fic for winteam. i don't even know why i would have gotten the urge, i just liked them so much and bounprem's dynamic too.

around that time things everywhere were super fraught (still fucking is obviously) but it was when the pandemic was super bad and people were dropping like FLIES and there was constant state-sanctioned murder. in thailand there were a lot of protests because of a coup going on there and a protester in the VICE video i watched on it said music helped them deal with the poverty and drug use in the slum they lived in in thailand. the left and/or artistic, indie, DIY scenes in other countries always fascinate, inspire, and entice me. uniteasia is a great resource for alternative asian music. a large chunk is dedicated to metal, which i'm not into, but there's a decent amount of post-/punk, DIY/grunge, indie/alt, and post-hardcore. i've been seeing a lot of shoegaze lately too.

so all this brewing in me i started to really think about a (queer) anarcho-commieesque band au fic but team is a (gasp) [cis] girl and i know i know boo hoo but also fuck that! i got a comment about that which bugged me cause i had to justify my sexuality which was weird because why are we both not embarrassed to be on ao3? i get the impulse but no because it was specifically because of all the stuff above and me listening to a lot of my favorite bands like nirvana—in uwma win had posters of nirvana on his wall plus his hair (which could be poser-ish but now he has like 3 and a radiohead poster and an arctic monkeys and oasis poster so you know what werq plus i am actually a poser)—and hole, fiona apple (who had just come out with her new album), vince staples, a bunch of other good shit, and getting into sonic youth. it just got me thinking of like music and art and diy and gender and identity because that's something those bands/people talk(ed) about and struggled with, along with sexuality obviously, and i wrote a lot; still writing. so much was going on then but like life had to stop so so much wasn't? that intensity they bring...what it would be like when there's so much shit going on in the world, if team was different when shit is so different. in any other circumstance, i wouldn't have imagined this specific scenario (i published one? i think or maybe two fics i had for them b4 and wrote some on my own)

anyway i thought about just taking it down and completely reworking some of it into some script for some dumb romcom i'd attempt to write in a pipe dream for it to get made but these 2 are just too compelling for me and now that this show is here??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! they're the only ship that could make me give half of a shit enough to even think this hard or continue something for up to 2 fucking years or even think about it. and for what? cos the fic is bad cos again can't write like that but just what? they had FORTY MINUTES in uwma. that's actually bonkers insane. like i cannot believe this????? how can i clown on them too much when they got so many of us fuckin' whipped. it's fun writing them just being hot and cool and doing art tho lmao it's fun watching them jus tbeing hot and cool and freakishly in love anyway i'm editing the stuff i've written and posted and will just save it instead of reposting. so if anyone ever read it before they can be extremely surprised at how different it is ^___^

speaking of music prem's song is really fuckin' good it's just the right amount of good pop with an edge it's a greaaaaaat background song for their scenes. genuinely good and i am never a fan of tv OSTs they are usually generic to me

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

things have been a little bit dead around here, so random headcanons for sve characters?

I like to think that it's just a little pause, not that is "dead". 😄 So here are some random headcanons for different stardew valley expanded (and some vanilla sdv) characters! It turned out to be a little long post, I immediately write a small scenario for everyone, I can’t live without a scenario. Does this even count as headcanon? What are the rules when writing a headcanon, how to write anything at all, aaaaa

Morgan told us that Magnus could let them have a pet from Marnie's Ranch, but I personally think Morgan's choice would be frogs! They are jumpy, funny and very interesting animals. So Morgan, with the permission of Rasmodius, will get themself a small aquarium with two or three frogs. Vincent will definitely be jealous because "Mom doesn't let me have bugs and frogs in the house!".

Adventurer Drake will see the Farmer catching torpedo trout on the Fable Reef at the request of Jolyne. No one has ever been able to catch even one fish, so "ummm... can you catch one for me please? I'd love to study it!" And the Farmer gladly agree. Later, the rest of the adventurers (Brianna, Gale and Edmund) find out what the two of them are up to and also ask the Farmer to catch this trout for them too. As a result, Jolyne sees how four of her wards surrounded the young Farmer from all sides, like little children. The leader of the First Slash clan will laugh softly, and then bark authoritatively at all of you, because "someone has left the duties of patrolling the island!", and she tell the Farmer with a smile to "stop spoiling my wards."

Victor will fulfill his little dream and create a 'bridge building simulator' game with the help of Sebastian and his experience as a programmer. Of course, the game is only in the Beta version, and Victor was worried that no one would be interested in it. But those who have already downloaded it like the game. Someone creates different works of art, someone for fun constructs crazy bridges, like some sort of dead loop. In general, the game gets a lot of positive feedback and Victor is seriously thinking about improving the game, he asks Sebby if it's worth it. Sebastian doesn't mind.

The ice cream kiosk is open only in summer, and in other seasons it's empty. But Susan came up with a great idea - hot chocolate and coffee to go! Alex liked this idea the most ("now I can work again!"). And Susan will give Alex her recipe for the greatest hot chocolate you ever taste. She won't accept a share of Alex's hot drink sales, since Susan gave the recipe out of the goodness of her heart, and so no one gets cold in this weather. But she doesn't mind the sweets and delicious pastries that Alex gives her from Grandma Evelyn as thanks for the wonderful idea and hot chocolate recipe!

I know Andy isn't exactly the friendliest person, but I think he has a soft spot for kids (even a little weird ones like Morgan and Leo) and might even take them on a hike in the woods. He will show them the best places for picking berries, what mushrooms you cannot eat, show the nests of various animals, and explain how to treat the forest with respect. Deny all you want, Andy, we know that deep down you are very kind and caring person.

Lance collects seashells from the beach. Considering how often our gallant adventurer patrolled Ginger Island, I think he was attracted by some interesting specimens of shells of various colors and shapes, which he decided to keep. So don't be surprised if one day Lance, as Farmer's spouse, shows them his little collection of shells and tells stories about where he found them.

I had a lot of fun writing little headcanons about different characters, I like the freedom of writing. Maybe I'll write more similar scenario for other characters later, who knows. Hope you like it, and have a great day! ❤️