#i had no idea who this guy was but also that was probably correct

[quatregats]

^ Images taken before the fall

[triglycercule]

How do you think the fandom somehow turned Horror into a really nice sweet guy who can practically do no wrong when his original counterpart is just such a fucking dickhead

ERUAGH this topic always intrigues me as a proud asshole horror truther BUT ALSO i love fanon horror too 💔💔 because for me i was "there" for the og years of horror's character getting turned into this total baby but i wasnt THERE THERE (aka here on tumblr because i didn't even know what tumblr was back in like 2016-17 💀)

so for me i can only guess. imo i think it was just a combination of flanderization & lack of canon knowledge PLUS the fact that the only info that was first known about horror himself was just from the flashgame (since all of chapter 1 of horrortale is about toriel and the ruins so by then horror's already got an established stereotype and image and people just dont read the comic enough to actually correct this). its just a bunch of layers of mischaracterization that quickly piled up and its packed TIGHTLY now in this current age

horror in the flash game is presented REALLY simply,,,, he's just this guy that taps on wood with a cleaver that kills you if you get too nosy or dont listen to papyrus and makes jokes about food. we dont know if he doesn't eat food at all yet since the panel establishing that horror hasnt eaten food in 7 years comes out in 2018 in pg44 💀 (and technically the hint that he hasn't eaten humans at all came out in pg33 but again making comic pages takes awhile and i know that horrortale's had its fair share of hiatuses thru the years,,,,) so this lack of knowledge about his hunger can ALREADY lead to the "foodie" trope that he has since he makes jokes about head dogs n stuff

the protective part can also be assumed by how he's always making sure that aliza plays along with papyrus's games and when we get later into chapter 2 and learn about snowdin that he also provides for everyone there by feeding them with humans. i always see people bringing up these arguments of how "OH WELL horror feeds everyone in horrortale and protects them from undyne so he'd do the same for others too!!!" well yeah sure but like,,,, he also feels incredibly guilty about the position that he's put them in and feels obligated to do that just because,,, MAYBE he'd provide for others like how he does in snowdin but REALLY? youre using the bare minimum of him providing BASIC FOOD AND PROTECTION as a way of justifying his protective tendencies??? i feel like that could work better (in a bad sanses context. because you always see this bullshit in nightmare's gang,,,,, (nightmare is a catalyst for bad characterization WHEN I CATCH YOU WHEN I CATCH YOU)) if his provider tendencies were given a more unique approach than just feeding them and stuff. horror wouldn't have the same attachment he had to snowdin with any of the gang so he wouldn't treat them the same or even similarly!!! AT ALL!!!!! oops i got sidetracked BUT ANYWAYS

and then for the big bear giant thing where people make him 3x the size he normally is (WHICH IS PEAK KEEP DOING IT,,,,,, epaugh small dust big horror would be the second only thing to put me to death if i was 95 and on my deathbed. right after any mtt fanart poly or not) i feel like just came from the simple idea of Big=Scary because idk megalophobia or smth. like people saw him and maybe horror was too much of a kicked puppy to be scary in their eyes so people were like lets size him up!! i do remember seeing a post where the reason why people hced horror was big was bc all his limited magic was put into sustaining his body and thats why his bones are thick but that just like,,,,, doesn't make sense to me. like even animals here on EARTH with normal diets have limited growth capacity simply because a larger body means more sustenance for it so why would he be bigger if that would just make him hungrier??? nevertheless I STILL LOVE DISPROPORTIONATELY BIG HORROR but unfortunately it does contribute to fanon horror 💔💔💔

this fandom is notorious for not reading canon info too sooo,,,, LIKE I SAID it was a mix of lack of canon info + horrortale being underdeveloped + flanderization of his basic traits which were then amplified when people came up with hcs for this flanderized version of horror and not his canon one. i mean you gotta be honest that fanon versions of characters will almost ALWAYS be easier to make fun jokes and art and writing of just bc of the fact that they are simpler!! almost all of the utmv au characters have this trait where their fanon version is a really really REALLY simplified/flanderized version of themselves which like,,,, you go you! just make sure to read horrortale pls :3 its peak fiction pls :3 the comic is so fire :3 the gore isnt really that graphic (in my opinion) you might be able to stomach it :3

[dumpywrites]

Two Days - Jungkook

Summary: He just wants you to give him two days. He'll take you on a few dates and you'll decided if you actually like him? Or not?

Genre/tags: mostly fluff, tiny bit of angst, friends to lovers, biker jungkook, jungkook is a goofball and a simp! :)

Pairing: Jungkook x she/her reader

a/n: this is my first ever bts/jk fic, I'm just trying this out since i have some days off from work, hope y'all like it <3

“Please?”

“No.” 

“You’re missing out.” 

“Jungkook, we’re literally in a Burger King.”

You heard the man playfully saying, “Yes, and?” in a singing tone. All you could do was rolling your eyes in reply. Jeon Jungkook, this guy who had been begging you for his so-called masterplan that he called, “trial date” for weeks, was now yet again begging you for a chance.

You could not exactly pinpoint when it actually began. He was shy the first time you met. You had known the rest of the boys ever since you met Yoongi at an art class. The cold looking guy who was surprisingly friendly and soft-hearted, later on introduced you to the rest of the guys. Jungkook was introduced almost a year later into befriending the group. He was a guy who went to the same gym as Namjoon. They became friends ever since he offered Namjoon a ride one time. 

Being the youngest amongst the guys and also the latest you got to meet, you would think that his shyness would linger at least a little bit longer. Then again, if you really think about it, he probably only stayed quiet and shy on the first meeting. 

The idea of both of you together was never mentioned until recently. Namjoon was the one who started calling out Jungkook’s odd behavior towards you, but the nail on the coffin was when you all got drunk at Jimin’s house that one time. 

It was Jimin’s birthday and truthfully, you knew the guy was loaded rich, but you did not know he was rich with capital R. The selection of bottles in his house was pretty much unlimited from the ones you like to the ones you couldn’t even name. It was five hours into all the celebration and you all were blurting nonsense. You were tipsy, but still aware cause for some reason you were winning all the games that night and got to drink less. But Jungkook on the other hand, who was usually winning everything, was getting pissy cause he kept coming second after you. 

“This is unbelievable.” Jungkook groaned, casually throwing the boardgame cards on the table. 

“You just have a soft spot for her.” Jin shrugged. 

“I do not! I just have a crush on her.” Jungkook retorted back, as if his sentence made any sense. 

You heard Hoseok voiced a small “oh” with his usual judgy expression, and the rest were silent for a second, including you. 

“I mean…” Jungkook tried to correct himself but stopped mid-way, trying to make up words in his already drunk mind. His eyes went back and forth to everyone before he scoffed. “You all act so surprised, as if you didn’t tease me everyday right after the first time I met Y/N.” 

When the room was still silent, Jungkook realized he fucked up, his blurry mind completely ignored the fact that you, the subject of this topic, was in fact also in the room. 

“Shit.” Was all he muttered before he excused himself to the bathroom, and did not come out for twenty minutes. 

When he was done, everyone had decided to wrap it up due to the awkwardness and the absence of Jungkook himself. He found Taehyung and Jin sleeping on both sides of Jimin’s big couch, and a small smile formed on his lips, shaking his head over the dumb expression they had in their sleep. His stomach soon flipped right after he saw you on the kitchen, making yourself a cup of instant noodle. 

“Oh, hey.” You greeted awkwardly. “I got hungry from all that drinking.” You shyly mentioned. 

Jungkook only nodded and took a seat on one of the dinning chairs. 

“You want some?” You offered, trying to break the ice. 

“Y/N stop.” His eyes widened once he realized how bad that sounded. “I mean… I didn’t mean it like that?” He chuckled dryly, it was more of a statement rather than a question. 

When you kept quiet but sat down next to him regardless, and ate your noodles, he decided you were at least comfortable enough to hear him talk. “This whole huge crush on you thingy… that’s not gonna ruin our friendship or anything, right? If you’re uncomfortable I’ll just stop showing up when you’re around for a—”

“What?! No! Jungkook, I’m not uncomfortable.” You sighed. “I’m just a bit surprised, I guess.”

“Why though?” He asked innocently, his big doe eyes looking straight at you, making you slightly nervous. 

“It’s just… you do realize you’re quite popular right?”

“What’s that gotta do with this situation?”

“I thought I wasn’t your type.” 

“You don’t get to decide that.”

That was the last civil conversation you had with him until he decided it was a good idea to cling to you almost every single day, pestering on the idea of this whole trial dating. Everyone other than Yoongi, who was neutral (read: don't really care enough to actually voice an opinion at the moment), was pretty much on board with his plan. You being single for a year now definitely did not help your case. They kept saying that you needed to lit up your dating engine again, so it wouldn’t be rusty. 

It was not that you did not find Jungkook attractive. Heck, he was one of the most attractive person you had ever laid your eyes on. It was just, weird? He felt like a brother, the same as the rest of the boys. If you didn’t treat any of them different, then you should not with Jungkook either, right?

“Have you maybe considered that maybe she’s tired of your bullshit?” Yoongi blurted with a blank expression, as he continue to munch on his burger. 

“It’s only been two weeks.” Jungkook protested. “Besides, you never know 'till you try, right?” He winked at you. 

You rolled your eyes. “I’m good, Kookie.” You pinched his cheeks, a little bit too hard. 

“H-hey!” He pouted, his cheeks forming even rounder. “Two days! Two days!” He suddenly shouted. 

“Oh boy…” Hoseok side-eyed the rest of you, clearly done with the younger one. 

“Give me two days, Y/N!” He said with his two fingers right in front of your face. “You don’t have plans this weekend, right?”

“Hey, maybe—“ Namjoon didn’t even get to finish his sentence before the lad interrupted. 

“I’ll take you on two dates and then you can decide afterwards.” He grinned, as if that was the most brilliant thing he had ever thought of. “If you still don’t like me after that then I will gracefully back off.” He threw his hands in the air. 

“You promise?” You suddenly spoke, after being silent for a while. 

“Wait, you’re actually considering—“ Jin stood up from his seat, almost knocking his table. 

Jungkook hurriedly covered Jin’s mouth, not letting yet another man finish his sentence again. “I promise!” He saluted, grinning so hard his cheeks almost hurt. 

“Are you really sure?” Yoongi whispered to you. 

You only shrugged. Truthfully, you were not sure either. But at this point, you just wanted Jungkook to get over his girl hyperfixation of the month. Which was, you. 

You just did not buy the story of him being head over heels on you since day one. As if he didn’t look like a Greek god himself? As if you did not know how women and even men would kill just to get a taste of him. You just wanted him to get it over with, so he can realize how weird the whole idea was and went back to being the goofball friend you once knew. 

—

Right, so.

Now here you were, basically having a mini dress-up montage moment, picking an outfit for your cinema date. Even after spending almost an hour getting ready you ended up with just wearing your usual crop top and baggy jeans, hoping it will be fine. Clearly you didn’t wanna seem like a try-hard. It was just Jungkook. He had seen you with pajamas and you didn’t hear him complain, so there shouldn’t be a problem. Why did you even go through the trouble to pick an outfit? You wondered yourself. 

Ten minutes later and Jungkook was already ringing your phone. 

“I’m at your lobby!” He exclaimed loudly over the phone. 

“You’re early.”

“Just can’t wait to see you.” You could not see his face, but you knew he was grinning like an idiot. “Hurry down! Oh, and bring your jacket.”

You didn’t expect him to came with a motorbike. A huge one not to mention. Something stirred in your stomach for a millisecond seeing him in a leather jacket. 

He took a spare helmet and innocently handed it to you. “Gotta make sure my girl is safe.” He sheepishly said. 

You tried your best to ignore the nickname, and spoke. “I didn’t know you ride a motorcycle.” You said, taking the helmet he gave in your hands. 

“I’m just too lazy to drive sometimes so I just lift on Hobi’s car.” He shrugged. “Why? Are you scared?” He teased. 

“Of course not.” You said and put on the helmet. You did not miss his small snickers when you struggle to hop on his Harley, having to grab him by his shoulders. 

“Okay, just wanna let you know, I drive like suuuuuper fast. So, you have to hug me to be safe!” He giggled. 

You rolled your eyes, even if he couldn’t see. “I’m just gonna head back upstairs...”

“Don’t be such a sourpuss.” He chuckled. “I’m a good driver, Namjoon approved! But you can grab onto my jacket if you want.” 

—

The movie was great. 

And that was a lie, cause truth to be told, you could barely focus on the plot. Every time you caught a glimpse of the boy next to you, his eyes were already looking at you. While it was true that you had not been dating for quite some time, you could feel your spidey-sense tingling, as if you were to turn your head towards him, something would happen. Thinking about it was not exactly the best thing for you.

“We’re getting ice cream.” Jungkook cheerfully said, as you both walked out the cinema. 

“That’s not a question?” You couldn’t help but to smile at the silliness. 

“Not a chance I’m letting you go home yet.” 

“Is this a date or a kidnapping?” 

“Could be both if you want.” He laughed. “So…” He cutely put his hands in his pockets as you walked. 

“So?”

“So… how’s life?” 

“You did not just ask me that.” You laughed.

“What? I’m just trying to make actual conversation!” He laughed as well, but later on his expression softened. “You seemed down these past couple of days though?” 

You tilted your head slightly. You didn’t think he would notice. 

“You… noticed?”

“Of course I did!” He grinned, patting his chest proudly. “You didn’t talk that much at our last movie night at Taehyung’s. You usually love to debate after watching a movie.” He chuckled. "The fact that you're not even starting a discussion right now, is lowkey concerning."

That was because of an entirely different thing, but you chose not to say. “I haven't even told Yoongi.” 

“Even if you tell him, he wouldn’t tell anyone either, so what’s your point?” 

“That’s fair.” You broke a small smile. 

“What happened?” He stopped mid-track, suddenly losing a bit of confidence in his speaking tone. “I mean, only if you’re comfortable enough to tell me…”

Your expression softened. “It’s a bit stupid…”

“It’s okay, I’ll listen!” He nodded towards you. “I’ll just quickly grab those ice cream and we’ll sit down somewhere?” 

Minutes later he came back with two ice creams and a big stupid grin plastered on his face as usual. “Here you go, let’s sit down on that bench.”

You nodded and thanked him before following him to the bench. 

“Come sit close to me!” He patted right next to him. When you only looked at him blankly. He added, “Please?”

You sat down close to him but left a bit of space enough so that your shoulders wouldn’t touch. 

“Are you cold?” 

“Uh… no.”

“Okay, good.” He smiled and took a big bite of his ice cream. “So, do you still wanna tell me? Or we could also just sit and talk shit about Jin while we eat ice cream if you don’t want!”

You smiled. Looking into his eyes, you could feel his sincerity. It could be just you, but you felt somewhat… safe. 

“I used to date this one guy… We dated for three months before I ended things with him.” 

You looked up to Jungkook, expecting to see a negative expression but he remained silent, only nodding to signal you to continue. 

“To be fair we haven’t been in touch for almost a year, but he suddenly called me. He was drunk and said a bunch of nonsense. I still replied at first, cause I was worried for his safety. But after I found out he was drunk at home, I bid my goodbye. Then he suddenly said…” You took a deep breath. “He said that I’m a 4.5 with a bitch attitude and being picky won’t help me.” You broke into a sad grin. “It’s stupid, I know—“

“Who is this fucker? Can I beat the shit outta him? How come I’ve never heard about this?!”

“Probably cause this is how you react.” You chuckled. “It had me quite bothered for quite sometime, maybe the fact that I also haven’t dated in a while adds to it, but I guess I feel somewhat better now.” 

“So that’s why you said you thought you weren’t my type?” 

“Huh?”

“That fucker needs to get his eyes and brain checked.” He shook his head. “You know, it’s fine to not want to settle for less.” He said as he looked at the sun setting in the sky. “He’s just butthurt you don’t want him back.” 

You stayed silent but nodded.

“His dick’s probably small anyway.” When you slapped his arm, he laughed. “What? Am I wrong? Why did you even break up with him?”

“He's sexist!”

“And his dick is small.” He followed. 

“Jungkook!” You began to laugh as well. 

“You know you’re easily a ten, but I’ll give a nine for now.” He said, pretending to be serious with rubbing his chin and squinting his eyes. 

“Why? What deduct the one point?”

“Cause you haven’t like me back yet.” 

“God, make that at least five points then, I hate you.” You rolled your eyes, but laughed. 

He smiled softly. “Feeling better?” 

“Well, I guess? But now my ice cream's all melty.” You pouted, trying to lick some that was melting down the cone. 

“That’s why you eat fast like me.” He proudly said. 

“And have stomach problem? No thanks.”

“Here let me just…” He licked a stripe from your cone and took a big bite. “There.”

You were taken aback. So stunned that you could only blink a few times at him. 

“What? Don’t tell me that turned you on?” He smirked. 

“You… Jungkook, that’s gross!” You whined, which only resulted in his laughter. 

—

The next day Jungkook wanted a full day date. Boy kept saying that he wanted fair chance since it was his last day. He already planned a list of things both of you would do and all, and the first being eating brunch with you. 

“Do you really have to come this early?” You complained as you opened your apartment door for the guy. 

When the said guy sheepishly didn’t move and enter, you raised one of your eyebrows. His hands were behind his back, clearly holding something, and you can see both of his arms flexed, seemingly grasping something tightly. You were searching for his boyish grin, but his expression seemed worried instead. 

“I got you flowers.” He said, sounding discouraged. 

“Oh?” You replied, but wondered why he just kept standing and not move. 

“I found out last minute that you don’t like flowers…” He frowned. “Yoongi told me in the group chat after I got too excited and sent them a pic of the flowers I got you.”

He looked like a lost puppy, and suddenly you had the urge to hug him to ease all his pain away. You stopped yourself before the impulse got the best of you and you grabbed him by the forearm, dragging him inside and closing the door. 

“You can’t stay in that position the whole day, you have to hand me the flowers.” You folded your arms, trying to hold in a chuckle. 

“But you don’t like them!”

“I haven’t even seen them.”

He finally moved his hands and revealed a small bouquet of fresh daisies. It was a simple bouquet, nothing too extravagant with a brown wrapping paper. It somehow reminded you of his smile and how radiant he looked when he did so. Yes, you did not like flowers, they were unpractical, it felt like an unnecessary addition, a waste of space. But somehow you like it. It made you feel all warm and fuzzy and it was very pleasant. It made you wanna accept it with open arms. Truthfully, the description did not really feel like it was describing flowers anymore, but you decided to not further ponder on it. 

“Thank you.” You took the flowers and sniffed it, before setting it down on your table. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t know, I feel so dumb cause everyone knew already and—“

“Hey, we’ve only known each other for three months.” You assured. “Besides, it’s really not much of a big deal, I actually like them.” 

“You do???”

“Yeah, they look pretty. I don’t know how long I can keep them looking like that though.” 

“Oh my god…” He exhaled deeply. “I was so worried it would be a deal breaker or something. I was literally shaking!”

He laughed and showed his right hand in front of you, it was shaking slightly. You didn’t know why he laughed at it, you didn’t find it funny. 

“It happens sometimes when I’m nervous.” He chuckled. 

Instead of saying something, you took his hand into yours just by intuitive. It was impulsive, but you let go before he had the chance to intertwine his fingers with yours. He didn’t comment on your behavior, but a smile was still on his face as he waited for you to grab your things to go. 

The brunch was on this small cafe near your place. You insisted on paying this time, since he paid for yesterday. The brunch was spent with him trying to sneakily hold your hand, but failed every single time. 

Next activity on the list was buying clothes together. As cringey as that sounded, and you even almost opposed the idea, Jungkook said that he needed to buy new outfit and he wanted to hear your feedback. Plus, some of his clothes barely fit him anymore since he decided to become a gym rat. 

“You actually look great in those skirt.” 

“You’re joking.” You denied, but twirled around in front of the mirror anyway, while trying to convince yourself that you didn’t need the purchase. 

“I’ll buy them for you if you won’t.” 

“We didn’t have all those money-saving talk with Namjoon only for you to say that.” You folded your arms. 

“Oh come on, you look great!” He pointed to you and his lips forming into a small pout. “Besides, we’re on a date today so I think that’s a pretty good excuse.” 

“I thought we are here to help you buy some clothes, not buy me skirt that I probably won’t wear that often.” 

“Let me spoil you for once… please?” He begged, eyes all sparkly. His lips shined along with his two lip piercings. 

“Alright, fine... I’ll get the skirt, but!” You eyed him. “Only if you buy that straight-cut jeans you just tried before.”

“Deal.”

“That’s it? You’re not gonna argue on how those aren’t on trend anymore?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“I was gonna buy them anyways. You were practically drooling when I showed you.” He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows playfully at you. “Kinda was just waiting for you to admit it…”

You only rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t open your lips to deny his words either. 

After you changed back into your clothes and Jungkook paid for the purchases, he went back to you with a sly grin on his face and you immediately suspected something. He came back with a pair of matching string bracelet. 

“You can just not wear them later if you don’t want to, but let me be delusional for today, okay?”

You both left the store after you let him put the bracelet on your wrist. 

Next in line was spending time on a local amusement park. It was nothing too extreme, just a small carnival that has a few rides and snack booths. The guy kept insisting that you both should take a picture when the sun set. 

“Cotton candy!” Jungkook sprinted to the booth like a hungry kid, his laughter could be heard even as him getting far from where you were standing. 

You shook your head, smiling to yourself as you walked to his direction. 

“Pink, blue, or green?” 

“Blue, maybe?”

“Alright.” He grinned and paid the seller as they handed the blue cotton candy stick. “Why blue though?” 

“Dunno, just kinda matches your outfit.”

“Sweetheart, I’m wearing jeans and a plain white t-shirt.” He giggled. 

Which should be a crime! Cause who even looks that good in a basic white t-shirt??? You thought to yourself. “Your jeans, I guess..?”

“If you say so.” He chuckled. “Wanna ride the ferris wheel?”

“Being in a such small space with you sounds dangerous.” 

“I’ll protect you, babe.” He winked. 

“The danger is you, babe.” You mocked. 

He smirked, clearly amused. “Well, at least I got you to call me babe, that’s a win for me.” 

“You’re anno— hmph!” He stuffed a ball of cotton candy in your mouth, laughing continuously at the sight. 

After wandering around for a while and finishing the cotton candy, Jungkook dragged you to the shooting game. You refused, saying how you never really win these kind of games, but knowing him, losing was never really his thing. You saw how big the main prize was and you know Jungkook, you knew his ego, you knew damn well that was what he was aiming. 

“If you’re aiming for that giant teddy bear, don’t. We can’t carry that thing around...”

“You can’t tell me what to do.” He didn’t listen and instead paid for the game tickets. 

“We can’t carry that in your motorcycle, that’s like another passenger!”

“Just watch me.” He smirked, already aiming with the toy gun. 

You rolled your eyes, there’s really no telling him on this. “Fine, whatever.” 

After just two shots, you hear him jump in celebration, fist in the air and the staff rang the bell for him winning the price. You were ready to complain, but the staff handed you a small frog plushie instead. You looked at Jungkook and saw his boyish grin, his eyes almost turned into crescents. You looked back at the plushie in your hands and couldn’t lie to yourself, it was very adorable. 

“You didn’t aim for the grand prize?”

“You told me not to.” He shrugged. “Plus, you like frogs, right?”

“Well…” 

“I wished I took a picture of your expression when they handed you the plushie.” He laughed, a soft blush decorating his cheeks. 

You finally agreed to ride the ferris wheel with him. The park was going to close in an hour anyway, and you thought why not, it wouldn’t hurt anyone to go for one ride. 

You sat across him, hugging the frog plushie on your lap. It was silent for the first few minutes, but it was comfortable, not awkward. You were just looking at the view from above and silently admiring it. 

“Did you have fun?” He asked. Suddenly your attention went back to him and his smile. 

“Well, yeah… I did.” You nodded. “Thanks.” 

“Don’t thank me, I had fun too.” He smiled. “Everything’s fun with you though so I may be biased…” 

You didn’t really know what to say to counter his words. You just smiled and went back to looking at the window. 

“Mind if I sit next to you?”

“Uh… sure. Just be careful, you might tilt the cart.” 

Jungkook carefully moved to sit next to you. He muttered a small “phew” as he sat down. “Wow, the view’s better here.” He said, looking straight at you. 

“What do you mean? How—” And then it clicked to you. “Oh my god… shut up!” You hit his arm, and he laughed. 

“Take my compliment for once!” 

“Never.” You stuck your tongue out. 

The ride soon came to an end. You remembered that you promised Jungkook to take a picture with the sunset, but out of nowhere it started to rain. Although it was just small drizzle, it’s hard to take picture and avoid getting soaked at the same time. You both ran to the nearest sheltered place, with Jungkook’s leather jacket covering both of you. 

You said your sorry about his now wet jacket, but the boy did not seem to be bothered, as you can see how bright and happy he was, just from running with you under the rain. You sighed, but an idea came to you as soon as you saw a photo booth machine, not far from where you were standing. 

“Do you… maybe wanna do that instead?”

“Photobooth?” He looked at you, as if he couldn’t believe your words. 

“Why? You don’t want to?”

“No! I want to!” He said, almost too quickly. “But it’s just weird that you suggest it. But it’s a good weird!” He chuckled. 

“I promised you a picture, so we’re getting a picture.” 

“Aww.” Jungkook pout his lips in a kissy way, teasing you. 

“Let’s go before I regret it.” You dragged him inside the booth. 

The first pose you playfully put peace signs behind Jungkook’s head, giving him bunny ears, while he only stuck out his tongue. The second one, Jungkook made a love sign with both of his hands, and you surprised him with a middle finger, which he yelled at you afterwards, but couldn’t really continue to complain as the countdown for the next photo were already starting. 

Since Jungkook spent at least three and a half seconds with his protest, you both were panicking for the last picture, running out of ideas. As the countdown stating two, he suddenly pulled you closer and leaned on your shoulder. The shutter flashed and the photo was taken. You were still in awe and couldn’t process what just happened. You only followed when you saw Jungkook making his way out from the booth to collect the picture. 

The guy giggled like a highschool boy, taking the printed photos, then giving one copy to you. You stared at the last picture, how genuine Jungkook’s smile when he leaned on your shoulder, while you had your eyes widened in surprise. You felt your face heating in embarrassment. 

“Ugh… can we just cut out the last picture?” 

“I was thinking the same thing, I’m putting it on my wallet!” He said, eyes still looking up and down on the set of photos. 

When you only looked at him in disbelief, he uttered a small “what?”, and laughed. 

Both of you ended up eating some cups of ramen in a nearby convenience store, as you wait for the rain to stop pouring. He took you home right after, insisting on waking you to your door. 

“Take care of little Kookie for me, yeah?” He said, pointing at your frog plushie, as you stopped at your unit’s front door. 

“Why is he named after you?” You chuckled. 

“I’m his father!” He pretended to be offended.

“Well, say bye to your papa now, little Kookie.” You waved the plushie’s small hand to him. 

Jungkook felt his heart somersault. He turned away for a second, covering his mouth. He cleared his throat. “Well, uh… thank you again, for today…”

“Yeah! Thank you too…” You chewed your inner lips, hugging your plushie close. 

“I uh…” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. “I just wanna let you know that what I said to you… about deciding whether you like me or not after the dates… I was just saying stuff. I don’t wanna pressure you into deciding your feelings for me or anything, I genuinely just wanna spend some time with you, and I’m thankful for your time.” 

You nodded, smiling at him. Your eyes locked with each other for a quick second. Your heart skipped a beat. Maybe it was the moonlight, or the lamp in front of your door that you recently just got replaced. Either way, you could see the stars in Jungkook’s eyes and his skin glowed, but so did his lips. They were practically sparkling and glossy, you wondered if he had put any lip balm over it. For a moment, your attention stopped at his lips, just wondering how it would feel against yours. Would it be soft? Would you feel the cold metal of his lip piercing against your skin? 

The man in front of you seemed to be lost in his thoughts as well. You swore you saw his eyes darted to your lips for a quick glance, before coming back to your eyes. Just when he leaned down a bit to your height level… 

You froze. What was that? You felt your stomach turned, you couldn’t exactly point out whether it was due to nervousness, or if you were simply just afraid. You took a step back and your back almost hit the front door.

“You should head back, it could rain again soon…” You said, looking away. 

“Oh.” There was disappointment in his voice. “Okay then… bye.” He waved to you awkwardly and walked away. 

As you see his figure walking away, you went inside your apartment and closed the door behind you. Sitting down on your sofa, you put your hand over your chest. Funny how your heart was still beating so fast. You were panicking, feeling everything all at once. Nervousness, excitement, curiosity, but mostly fright. The unknown territory was making you scared. The new feelings you were feeling, you didn’t even know if it would be okay to feel it. 

Still laying down on your sofa, you took your phone and dialed your best friend. 

“You called.” You heard Yoongi’s voice from the other line. 

“Why are you saying it like that.” 

“You only call when you’re stressing over something, otherwise, you only text.” 

You hate how smart and observant your friend was sometimes. “I think I feel something for Jungkook.” 

“Isn’t that… I don’t know, good?” 

“I don’t know… it just hit me like a truck, okay? One minute I wanna punch that stupid grin out of his face, the next thing I know, his lips looked so shiny and he got me wondering if his piercings would feel cold against my lips.” 

“Okay, wow.” Yoongi said in amusement. “Care to elaborate?”

“What if I’m just… super horny or something? I mean I haven’t been with anyone for like god knows how long now, and I could just be desperate and Jungkook is good looking, extremely good looking may I add, and—“

“Okay, okay… Y/N, pause for a second.” Yoongi sighed. “So you think you might be just horny and you feel bad for it?”

“Of course I feel bad! I don’t wanna use Jungkook like that! Just because he has this stupid crush on me, doesn’t mean I can do whatever I want with him. I’m not that kind of person!” You exclaimed, the volume of your voice getting slightly higher. 

“Tell me, how do you feel after the dates? Did you enjoy it?”

“Well yeah, I had a great time actually. I didn’t expect Jungkook to be that caring, and he’s actually very good at initiating conversation…” You wondered what else you could point out. 

“During that time, did Jungkook mention or do anything sexual?” 

“N-no! Of course not! Yoongi, do you take me as the fuck-on-the-first-date kind of person???” You said, slightly offended.

“So you like him.” He stated casually. 

“I’m sorry?”

“You caught feelings. Just admit that Jungkook has officially win you over.”

“I… what…” 

“I knew it. I shouldn’t have let you go on those dates, now both of you are gonna be so gross when we hang out...” You heard your friend groaned. 

“I like him?” You asked, more to yourself rather than to your best friend. 

“Maybe you should call Jungkook instead and tell him.”

You widened your eyes in horror. “No way, that guy only has a crush on me, it’s more of a hyperfixation, like I’m his girl of the month or something. I’m sure it’s not like how you think it is.”

“You should ask him yourself instead of making assumptions, just saying. And you know…” Yoongi paused for a second before continuing. “I think that kid is actually a good person, despite how dumb and annoying he looks.” When he got no respond from you, he spoke again. “Alright, I’ll leave you with your thoughts, just make sure you’ll talk with him about this, okay? Take care, Y/N.” 

Yoongi hang up the call while you were still sitting down, expression blank, staring at the wall in front of you. 

—

Jungkook didn’t text you at all after the date. Not like you text each other regularly, but you lowkey expected him to after. You wanted to call him, or at least text him. You wanted to say how you feel but you were again, scared. You began to think if you were reading it wrong. He was popular, you wondered if he just acted like that to everyone, if you were catching feelings, while he just wanted to hang out and have a bit of fun. After all, he never really explicitly said that he had feelings for you, all you knew that he admitted his giant crush for you while being under the influence of alcohol. 

You never hear from Jungkook again until the next week. Hoseok invited you all to game night over his place. You wanted so badly to bail and fake being sick, but Yoongi picked you up, basically forcing you to come and face your problem like an actual adult.

With all these new and mixed emotions that you were still getting used to, the thought of seeing Jungkook in person sounded so overwhelming. He would probably just act like how he usually would, because of course, why wouldn’t he. After all you were the one who suddenly took a weird turn.

“Finally!” Hoseok shouted, as he opened the door for both of you and Yoongi. 

“Come on, switch with Namjoon, he sucks!” Jin spoke while his eyes still not leaving the TV screen and his fingers loud against the controller. 

They were playing Tekken 8 on Hoseok’s Playstation. You saw how Namjoon was basically getting his ass kicked, playing as a Panda character, while Jin quickly leading himself towards victory using the character that coincidentally has the same name as him. 

Jin Kazama wins. 

The oldest one screamed happily, while Namjoon’s protests and excuses could be heard very loudly. Everyone laughed at the two, so it was easy to spot the one who didn’t laugh as much, whose expression didn’t hold that much excitement, sitting on the edge of the sofa just playing with his phone instead. 

“Y/N, come on!” Jin patted the on the carpet to the now empty seat next to him, since Namjoon already excused himself to get more popsicles from the fridge. 

You followed and sat down next to Jin on the carpet, which was directly in front of Jungkook, who was slouching on the couch. 

Sitting down quietly, you took the controller and beginning to scroll through the rooster of characters. You chose the character named Lili, while Jin stayed with his current main. 

When you beat Jin and the sound of your friends cheering loudly was heard, you began to feel a little bit relaxed, at the very least you could forget for a moment about your situation with Jungkook. That was until, you heard Yoongi spoke. 

“Jungkook, your turn.” 

You immediately turned your head towards your best friend, eyeing him straight. How could he betray you like this was beyond you. 

“Nah, you play I’m not really in the mood.” He rejected politely.

Your eyes went back to the screen because you refused to see Jungkook’s expression. You pretended to busy yourself pressing the dpad button up and down on the character choices. 

“This is the first time I’ve ever heard Jungkook refusing a match.” Taehyung said while munching on his potato chips. 

“Yeah, that’s so unlike you, man!” Hobi joined. “Come on, we all know you’re good, but Y/N doesn’t know that yet!” He added. 

A small groan came out from Jungkook’s mouth before he stood up, and once again everyone cheered. Jin stood to switch seats with him. The man locked his eyes with you once, before sitting down and picking up the controller in his hand. He didn’t take too long picking a character. His choice landed on a boxer character. 

The match went quietly with only the sound of the video game from the speaker. Your friends behind you somehow went silent as well, and the atmosphere in the room became very tense. 

“Is it just me or it kinda feels like they’re actually fighting with each other…” Jin whispered to Hoseok who was sitting next to him. Hoseok only signaled with his hand shaking next to his neck to cut it out, while the rest only widened their eyes and try their best not to make any comment. 

You pretended like you did not hear any of it and kept mashing the controller buttons. The milliseconds of your attention being taken away from the game gave your opponent a leaway to break your combo and finally beating down your character. 

Steve Fox wins. 

“All right, Yoongi you switch with me, I’m gonna go get some air.” You excused yourself and headed to the balcony, closing the door behind you. 

Technically it was not a lie. It just got a bit stuffy with eight people inside an apartment living room. Especially when the guy you suddenly had feelings for was in the equation as well. 

You searched your back pocket for your pod and cursed silently when it was nowhere inside your jeans pocket. 

“Looking for your vape?” Jungkook entered the balcony uninvited, wiggling your small disposable vape pod in front of you. But when you were about to take it from him, he withdrew his hand. “I thought you’ve stopped.”

“I did. I only do it when I’m nervous. That’s why it’s a disposable.” You said weakly. 

“I noticed.” He replied in a monotone, now pocketing the pod inside his pants, refusing to give it to you. 

“You smoke, don’t act all high.” You retorted. 

“Well, have you seen me smoke these past few weeks?” 

“No, actually… yeah, now that I think of it, you didn’t even smoke once when we went out—“ You stopped when the memories of your date went through your head. “Jungkook, about that…” You bit your lips, nervously facing him. 

He also turned his body to your direction, looking at you directly. “I’m sorry.” He suddenly said. 

“Huh? For what?” 

“I feel like I’ve pressured you into something you don’t actually want. I’ve been thinking and re-thinking about it the past few days and it drives me crazy. I may have feelings for you, but that doesn’t give me the right to drag you along to do stuff with me just because you enjoyed spending time with me as a friend.”

“Wait, Jungkook, I don’t feel that way!”

“I know! That’s why I apologize—“

“No! I mean, I didn’t feel like you dragged me along or anything. I genuinely enjoyed our date and…” You looked away, taking a deep breath before continuing. “If I’m not reading it wrong, you’re saying you truly have feelings for me?” 

“Isn’t that obvious already?” 

“Well, I thought I was just your girl obsession of the week or something… You have celebrity crushes left and right, okay?! Hell, you even had a crush on Namjoon at one point!!!” 

“The Namjoon crush was a joke. Man just got some nice thighs and I was just admiring it.” He defended. 

You took another deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry as well… the emotions were all just come clashing to me at once and I just told you to go home instead of dealing with it.” 

“But, you rejected my kiss...” He said with a weak voice, you almost didn’t catch it. 

“Cause I haven’t figured out what I want yet. I thought I was just so touch deprived that your lips looked inviting that day.” You admitted while cursing yourself secretly inside your mind. That was lowkey embarrassing. 

“Try being me, your lips look inviting every single day!” He exclaimed, his mood now seemed to be improving. 

“Be serious.” You hit his sides. He muttered an “ow” but you doubted it even hurt the slightest bit. 

“So now you’ve figured out what you want?” His doe eyes looking at you directly. 

“I’m getting there… I guess.” You broke the eye contact, it was a bit too much for you and suddenly you felt a bit sweaty. “But I think I like you too.” 

“Say that again while looking at me.” 

“Hell no.” You suddenly covered your face with both of your hands. 

“Please?” He grabbed your wrists, softly trying to prey open your hands. “I just want to have the visual memory of it captured in my brain.”

When you finally loosened your grip, he took his chance and held both of your hands in his. He grabbed them for a few seconds, intertwining his fingers with yours, before letting them go. He traced his fingers along your right wrist where you wore the bracelet that he got you, the one he got matching with his, and then moved his hands up to cup your face. The entire time he did all that, you could actually feel the shakiness in his hands, and it melted your heart. 

“Can I?”

You nodded and he did not waste any second before dipping in and closing the gap between you. 

Oh boy you were right, his piercings did feel cold against your lips, but that was only for a quick second before everything felt warm and soft, and your mind became blurry. You were moving your lips against his carefully, afraid to accidentally hurt him by his piercing, but instead earned a small bite on your bottom lip from Jungkook. You gasped and pulled away, hitting his chest. Since when were you in his embrace? That you did not know. 

“We gotta head back now or they’ll get suspicious.”

He giggled and kissed your forehead. “They’re already suspicious, babe.” 

“Still, we gotta head back…”

“You guys done making out?! We’re hungry!!!” You heard Jimin shouted from inside the apartment. 

Jungkook and you looked at each other with widened eyes, before laughing in unison. He pecked you on the lips one more time before running back inside with you, holding hands. 

Thank you for reading! 🌸

[amazinglyashy]

hi hi~ i have a silly request if you're interested (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠) can i request the lads men's (pre-relationship) reaction to the reader introducing them to their boyfriend? but plot twist... its a fictional virtual boyfriend! just like the game love and deepspace LOL who would get jealous? who would have beef with a fictional man?? /JK

PS: im not sure how to say this properly but u like, write them so attractively 😵 if that makes sense, like the little quirks u give them and the dialogue, whoo weeeee 100/10!

This made me laugh because I still remember introducing my bf to my Obey Me boyfriends and kept trying to figure out which one was the most like him so he could buy me merch of them and push his personal agenda. Sadly none of them are like him, but now that I play LDS, Rafayel sure is! Thank you for the request! I had fun with this one! (And oh my gosh, that's such a compliment!! Thank you so so much, it means a lot!!)

Pre-relationship LaDS men react to your fictional game partner

Rafayel -

Who would have beef with a fictional man?

Rafayel would have beef with a fictional man.

He did not wait centuries for you, searching high and low for his lost love in every dark alley and bad idea that came across him- to lose to a bunch of pixels on a tech screen.

Truthfully, he knows it's all in good fun, and he's not completely jealous. He's actually pretty glad you found a nice outlet that helps you with relieving stress from you day to day. He knows you need it.

He's just... going to be now competing secretly with a fictional figure.

He thinks its secret.

You know what he's doing.

Why else would he be asking you what the latest event is in your game with your fictional partner, and then miraculously a week later you're receiving the very same things or experiences in reality on your day off?

He's not slick at all, and honestly, you find it pretty endearing.

But also, something you won't ever consider- is maybe he's doing those things for you, not only to make you happy, but to show you just how much attention he pays to the things you tell him about.

That's okay.

You don't need to know that part.

Zayne -

Zayne is not at all threatened by whoever this 'Jumim Hen' guy is.

Yes he is mispronouncing it on purpose. No he will not correct himself until he's gotten enough humor out of it and frustrated you enough about it.

Once that happens, he'll start pronouncing it correctly and if confronted about his change in pronunciation, he will pretend you need a wellness check and request you make an appointment with his secretary.

Smooth way to spend more time with you while subtlety calling you crazy.

He mostly does just think it's cute, though.

He will buy you food from places that might be having game events that get you special merchandise or in-game prizes, even if you don't realize there's a surprise event happening because it wasn't advertised in your game.

No, he's not weird and expects you to stop playing once the two of you start dating. He realizes it's something you enjoy a lot, and he actually finds a lot of pleasure in listening to you ramble about situations that are happening in your game.

He finds most things you do endearing.

Sylus -

You're giggling over it, that's all the matters to him.

He is rubbing the bridge of his nose though, because you had been building up to this moment for over a week and he was convinced you were going to show him an actual psychopath or something and he was going to have to figure out a way to make the man disappear without you realizing it was Sylus's doing.

He probably won't make any vague comments about how your fictional boyfriend is strangely similar to himself and that maybe you have a type.

Probably.

(He will make one per day.)

(At least.)

Once you're dating him, he has some access to your device and the game, simply so that he can reload your currency whenever you go to sleep. He doesn't want you to run out, and he knows you love playing. What else is his money good for if not for making you smile?

Doesn't understand it, but he does make mental notes of your current progress in the storyline and which characters you like. But sometimes he'll pretend to forget an important detail.

He loves hearing you babble about anything, after all.

Xavier -

He was a bit confused at first, but figured out what was going on rather quickly.

He thinks it's adorable, like when he first found out how much you love claw machines and the plushies inside of them. He doesn't see it as much different- the love interests are your plushies in the game, and your fictional partner is your favorite "plushie".

Easy.

Xavier has lowkey cosplayed your game boyfriend at least once, acting innocent about it and as if it was completely unintentional.

If you're dating by then, he lets you 'borrow' the clothes, so now you have an article from your game, but it also smells like he does. He's only allowed them back once they lose their scent.

He only accepts gratitude and payment for the favor of wearing them again in the form of snuggling with him on the couch, his arms wrapped up around you as he nuzzles into your neck.

He needs your "help" for a little bit.

It's the least you can do.

[jellyfishandry]

W/ a drop-dead gorgeous s/o

(^ From this post)

Characters: Shota Aizawa, Toshinori Yagi

CW: gn or fem reader, reader is described as sweet + other things, you're married to Shota cause I said so, insecurities, slight Toshi angst, giving them flowers, uhh lmk if I missed anything

A/N: This kind of thing is like my favorite thing to write. Also I couldn't resist adding a ship dynamic picture for Toshi's. (Tags: @nnnyxie, @bingewatchintilldawn)

Shota Aizawa

No one knows how he managed to catch your attention. He had a messy appearance, and he could be harsh at times. But you were absolutely stunning. Not to mention you were incredibly polite and sweet. The first time you met his class, almost everyone was shocked. You had probably brought him flowers after the USJ attack to hopefully cheer him up. Just about everyone knew he was married, as he wore a ring, but they did not expect someone so utterly gorgeous and kind to be his partner Hizashi and Nemuri were the only ones you had met, as they had gone to your guys' wedding. But his students are a bit flabbergasted, and are mainly the ones who don’t understand why you married him. But it doesn’t mean they don’t like you, in fact, they love it when you drop by. Mainly because you’re just nice, but also because Shota relaxes more around you, and they have a lower chance of being scolded…  Or higher, depending on how you look at it But Shota is very thankful that you don’t mind the way he looks.  He was initially surprised when he found out you liked him, but he quickly accepted it. Though he will admit he was slightly skeptical at first, wondering if you had an ulterior motive. But you truly just loved him for who he was. And he did eventually understand that you just had pure, innocent intentions.

Toshinori Yagi

He himself has no idea how he pulled you. He doesn’t have a great self image, so he doesn’t understand why you of all people would be interested in him. At the start of your relationship (also when he was crushing) he could barely breathe around you. And early in your relationship people warned him that you might be using him, or something like that, and using your attractiveness to your advantage. He tells them that he knows you would never do that, and he’s correct. It just might take some time for other people to see that. But as your relationship progressed, he became less flustered around you. He’ll occasionally have doubts, and say stuff like “You should be dating someone who still has their life ahead of them.” He was at the point where he was having a hard time comprehending how he could keep living without saving people But you reassure him that he’s the one you want, and that nothing is going to change that After he fought AFO, you brought him some flowers to put on his desk. But you wanted to surprise him, so you didn’t tell him you were coming So when you’re directed to the teachers lounge, there’s some awkward silence before he stands up and goes towards you. “You brought me flowers.?”  He seriously didn’t expect you to get him anything, much less a bouquet of flowers  He’s very grateful for the flowers, and he’ll keep them and then press them when they dry out (they’re sunflowers.) He wants to kiss you, but he feels that doing it in front of the other staff members (specifically Present Mic) wouldn’t be the best idea. And out of the students, Izuku is the first to find out, as he’s known Toshinori the longest.  You probably end up calling him when he’s training him, and Izuku is able to tell reasonably quickly that whoever he’s talking to is very special to him. But he ends up meeting you when the other students do.  And when you are introduced to them, you both receive a lot of questions. But in the end everyone likes having you around, and Toshinori is thankful for you and loves you very much.

This is the vibe you and Toshi give off

(The tweet is not mine)

|| Navigation ||

[ahsxual]

Stu Macher x Fem!Reader where they are dating but the readers parents hate him so one night are 2:33 am Stu knocks on the readers window and she opens it it tells him to leave but before she can get a word out Stu is kissing her and telling her how much he misses her and one thing lead to, and so Stu had to push the readers head into her pillow so she didn’t wake anyone.

Sorry if the store request does not make any sense i’ve been wanting to request something from you for a while and this idea kinda came to my brain as I was falling asleep at four in the morning so I am very sleep deprived lol anyways I love your story. I hope you have a great day

Surprise Baby

Genre: Fluff & Smut

Warnings: +18 content, clingy and soft Stu, dirty talk, degrading, cursing, dom!Stu, p in v (w/o protection), sad Stu at the end (reader comforts him)

Word Count: 1,8k

A/N: This was actually a very interesting request and Ik very well that our daydreams before we sleep are the best 🤭 I added something to the plot at the end, so I hope you still like it! Tysm, I'm so glad you like my writing! It always feels so gratifying whenever you guys tell me that &lt;33

Right now you're lying on your bed crying, while hugging your favorite bunny plush that Stu gave you for Valentine's Day. You'd just had an argument with your parents, since they weren't the biggest fans and supporters of your relationship with your boyfriend Stu Macher. You didn't understand why they didn't like him and didn't even make an effort to, even though Stu always made you happy and made your life more colorful and enjoyable from the moment you met him. Of course Stu had his flaws like everyone else, since perfection is impossible to achieve and that was fine by you. But not for your parents. They said that Stu distracted you from school, that he "lived" for parties and didn't give you your "precious" time to concentrate on your studies, because he always took you on dates so that he could spend more time with you, even when you said you were busy.

You perfectly knew that Stu wasn't a guy who would take "no" for an answer. Maybe it was because he'd always been spoiled by his parents and didn't understand the meaning of that word? Maybe he hated the fact that you would say "no" to him, because if you truly love him as you always say, why would you reject an opportunity to go out with him? Both answers to those questions are probably correct, because you knew that Stu didn't know how to respect your personal space either, not that you minded anyway. But your parents did and that was the problem. They even told you once that Stu was obsessed with you and that your personal life has also become his, as if it were his property. Maybe they were right about that, but that's how Stu showed how much he loved and cared for you and it always worked well in your relationship. And you really missed him.

Sleep didn't want to make its presence known, so you decided to watch your favorite show on your new tv. However, you still couldn't stop thinking about the argument with your parents. Of course you defended your boyfriend and were always on his side to protect him against anyone, even your own parents, but it did made you very upset... all you wanted was for your family to see how genuinely happy Stu makes you feel, how he always admired you and treated you as if you were the only woman to walk on earth and how he's so funny that it's practically impossible not to laugh because of some silly joke he's made until your cheeks hurt. You just wished your family accepted him and loved him as much as you did...

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted when you heard your window being knocked on repeatedly. You screamed for a second, because you weren't expecting that to happen in the middle of the cold night. Nevertheless, you immediately felt relieved when you saw Stu standing there with his puppy eyes and big smile on his handsome face you loved so much. A wide smile appeared on your face the moment you realized your boyfriend wanted to surprise you and that he had actually made an effort to see you.

His giant body barely fit through your window and the way he clumsily tried to get into your room, like a cartoon thief, made you laugh until your belly started to get sore.

"Baby, what are you doing?? It's cold outside!" you asked worriedly, before you watched him fall face down on the floor as he let out an "ouch". You couldn't stop laughing at his poor attempt to sneak into your room, as he already knew that your parents would never let him in, especially so late at night. You looked over your bedside table, where your alarm clock was, to see what time it was, as it marked 2:33 am.

"Surprisee baby!" he shouted excitedly, with a contagious smile that didn't leave his face for a moment. His breathing was accelerated, which made you realize he had some trouble climbing up to your window. You felt your heart warming at his romantic gesture, yet you didn't want your parents to find out and kick him out of your house or worse.

"Be quiet babe, you're not supposed to be here! You need to leave Stu, my parents are gonna ki-" you were really worried about your boyfriend's safety, but Stu didn't give you a chance to finish your sentence, as he grabbed you firmly around your waist and began kissing you passionately with his long, skilled tongue. His hands were all over your body and his grip was tight, not allowing you to move away from him.

"Shh- don't worry about them. It's just us now. I've missed you so much, baby." he admitted, before kissing your neck eagerly. When he he'd had enough, he pulled you up by your hips and laid you down on your bed, his mouth never leaving yours. You couldn't help moaning as you felt his sweet, loving assaults on your body, his lips and big hands making you melt into his addictive touch.

"Love, we have to be quiet... and you're making it hard for me." by now you were feeling breathless, unable to contain your desire for your horny and needy boyfriend. Instinctively, you rubbed against Stu's crotch which made him groan in pleasure, as you could feel him already hard under his jeans. He began to gently pinch your nipples through the fabric of your short pajama top, enjoying and closely analyzing your reactions to his teasing touch.

"Looks like I have to shut you up so we don't get caught, baby..." the last thing you saw was a mischievous grin on your boyfriend's face, before he firmly turned you around so that you were on all fours for him. He pressed his erection against your ass, while his eyes rolled back as he put his head back from the stimulation and his mouth was slightly open. You were starting to enjoy this game way too much, to see who couldn't hold back their moans, and you made sure you would win this battle. You pushed your ass against him and started rolling your hips in a provocative way, knowing that Stu wouldn't be able to hold it much longer. He bit his lips at this and frowned, realizing what you were trying to do to him.

"My girl really wants to get some, huh? You wanna play dirty, doll? Do you really think you can win this game against me?" he laughed trying to mock you, making you feel pathetic if you really thought you could stay quiet with the way he was about to fuck you.

"Just fuck me already Stu, I can't hold it much longer..." you quickly gave up and decided to beg him for mercy, so you could feel him inside you for once. You were dripping by now and the thought of having to keep quiet so no one would catch you at such a vulnerable and intimate moment turned you on even more for some reason.

You finally felt him give you want you wanted, since Stu himself wasn't a very self-controlled guy when it came to you. You felt his tongue lick a long, firm strip from your throbbing clit to your pulsing, empty hole. This made you grip your pillow as hard as you could while he ate you out from behind. Unfortunately, it didn't last much longer like you'd hoped, as you didn't realize how horny and impatient Stu was feeling that night. Suddenly, you felt his fully erect cock enter you without any resistance, sliding easily into you because you were so wet with your cum and his saliva. He didn't give you any time to adjust to him as he usually did and started pounding you hard and fast. He knew you all too well, so he pushed your face against your pillow to prevent any sound coming out of your pretty mouth and kept his strong hand on your head. You prayed that no one would hear you both fucking like horny teenagers who can't control their sexual hormones. It wasn't your fault that you and Stu were so fucking attracted to each other and that your shared love was considered obsessive, right?

"You like that, don't you babygirl? You love it when I fuck you like this... You needy slut, can't get enough of your boyfriend's cock inside your tight hole. I bet your parents would be so embarrassed if they saw you getting fucked this good." he whispered in your ear before changing his angle to fuck you deeper. Wet sounds, your muffled moans and his heavy breathing were the only sounds being heard in your room, turning you both on even more. It didn't last much longer when you both came at the same time, since Stu was way too horny to hold his orgasm. He was so glad he'd made you cum before he climaxed inside you.

After the moment of ecstasy you both experienced, you lay there trying to catch your breath while staring at the ceiling. It was then that Stu pulled you closer to him and hid his face on your neck, clinging to you more than usual. He was acting way too needy and clingy, and wasn't trying to be the "dominant" one, which made you worry about him.

"Are you ok, love? Do you wanna talk about it?" you asked him softly as you caressed his hair and cheeks. You knew him too well to recognize whenever he wasn't feeling good, even when he was trying to hide it.

"My girl knows me so well." he chuckled weakly, trying to find the right words to tell you what was had been bothering him. After a moment of silence in which you tried to comfort him with your tender touches, he finally spoke. "My parents won't be able to make it for my birthday. Again." your heart ached for him, because you knew this problem had happened before. Although Stu's parents loved him and treated him right, they had never been very present throughout his life and that took a tool on his emotional behavior. That explained why he was so addicted to your attention and wanted you all to himself, all the time. It made you really sad that you couldn't help your boyfriend properly, because the presence of anyone's parents is irreplaceable.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, baby. I'm sure they're extremely busy with work and that's the only reason for their absence on such a special day. We both know that they love you and I'll be there for you to make sure you have the biggest party ever." you gently grabbed his face and smiled warmly at him, admiring his ocean eyes that reminded you of the maldivian water, as he stared back at you with pure love.

"I know you will. What would I do without you? You're the love of my life, you know that right?" you chuckled as you softly kissed his cute nose.

"I love you too, Stu... so much. You have no idea of how much love I have for you and no one ever will."

[aerithmybbgmypookiemywife]

Genshin SAGAU where GN! Reader reads a fanfic about them.

this is my first post bare with me pls, it isn't proof read pookie... i know this kind of idea has been done before but i just love it so...

Creator! Reader gets isekai'd into Tevyat. It didn't take long for you to be found by the Archons and be placed inside a heavily guarded palace in Liyue.

Creator! Reader who quickly gets bored of their palace, who wouldn't be bored when you're restriced to go outside or... Practically do anything!

Creator! Reader who soon notices a book on the ground, you picked it up and it was... A fanfic about the creator...? It was titled 'The creator and I's forbidden love: Star crossed lovers unable to love each other due to fate. Will we continue our love or will it all break apart?' Wow... That's a long ass title. It was a story about you, the creator, and a human. The human had no name, probably for immersion for whoever is reading it.

It sure was... Interesting to say the least... You were... Characterized as this brave, kind, and absolutely perfect character who fell in love with a Human... The Human was... Okay to say the least, the human's personality wasn't your type but whatever you let it slide since this was just a fanfic.

You were about to stop reading but you soon got to the spicy part... "WAIT WE DO IT IN A CAVE...?!" You gasped in disbelief, the smut was actually well written, and it inflated your ego that you were written as the Dom one in the relationship.

Creator! Reader who soon gets immersed into the book and loses track of time. You binged read that 1000 paged book, and you enjoyed it. It made you feel all giddy and curious to what other fanfics about you are out there.

Creator! Reader who brings it up on a meeting with the Archons. By Archons... It was Nahida, Venti, Zhongli, and Raiden Ei. Neuvillete wasn't exactly the Archon... The other two also were absent due to some conflicts.

"Oh right! I read this book titled... Hmm.. What was it again...? The creator and I's forbidden love: Star crossed lovers unable to love each other due to fate. Will we continue our love or will it all break apart?, have you guys read it before?" you asked, everyone except Nahida stiffened at the mention of the first words of the title.

"Is that the book Miko gave me...?" Raiden Ei mumbled. "Oh! Is that-" Nahida was cut off by Venti, "Your Grace..." he clears his throat, "I don't think that's a famous book so we are unaware of it... Do you like it?" he added. Everyone soon stared at you, anticipating an answer.

"Hmm... Well it's interesting... Maybe even correct in some parts." you replied. Correct in some parts...?? Where..?? Which one...?! What scene?! The smut?? The kiss?? How the author envisioned the creator being inlove?! WHICH ONE??

Those were the questions popping up in their heads, well... Except Nahida. "Your Grace, if you don't mind me asking... Which part is true?" Venti asked, Zhongli cut in before you could utter another word. "That question is out of line." He spoke out, even though he was... Also curious... he felt it was a rude question to you. You only laughed it off, not giving him a proper answer.

News spread like wild fire...! The creator likes that book...?! Oh expect it to be sold out and be treated as some sort of sacred religious text or something!

[augustinbluex]

shoplifter

Pairings: Step Dad Mark x Security Guard Jeno x afab Reader

Summary: when you got caught stealing in a sex shop, you thought you'd earn another lecture from your stepdad. however, the lesson was not what you’d excepted

Genre: smut

Warnings: noncon elements, unprotected sex (be safe!), anal sex, rough sex, threesome, stepcest, double penetration, face slapping, pussy slapping, humiliation, degradation, fingering, dirty talk, spanking, squirting, creampie, overstimulation.

Word count: 3k+

THIS IS NOT YOUR TYPICAL GIRL DINNER. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION

You sat there, your gaze fixated on the ticking clock, the anticipation clawing at your nerves. The wait was killing you—you’d been caught in this stupid fucking store, having maybe tried to leave without paying. The rent-a-cop had seized you, dragging you into the dimly lit backroom, but you managed to pull the name of Mark Lee out of your pocket like a desperate trump card. A way to escape the clutches of this predicament. The guard had glowered at you, reluctantly agreeing to make the call.

Mark would undoubtedly give you hell for this, yet he would also ensure that this embarrassing incident remained hidden from prying eyes. He wouldn't want the world to know that his step-daughter had been caught in the act of petty larceny within the confines of a sex shop.

So, all you had to do was wait.

The guard had given you a hard time when you dropped Mark's name. As if your father—no, your stepfather, you had corrected him—being who you claimed, he was automatically invalidated any suspicion. According to the guard, if your lineage held true, you could afford those tantalizing toys and bottles of lubricant. And perhaps, on some level, the thrill of doing something forbidden excited you. You had made sure to emphasize that point, emphasizing both the ‘naughty’ and the ‘excited’.

Too bad your criminal career apparently went bust on your first heist.

Voices echoed outside the closed door. There was an edge to Mark's voice, a tone that sent a shiver down your spine. The guard, on the other hand, seemed to find immense amusement. Telling the rich and powerful that their children got busted stealing sex toys probably was the highlight of this guy’s week.

"Hi, Mark," you greeted him, mustering a demure smile as the door swung open.

"You have no idea how disappointed I am in you," he responded, his gaze cold and piercing. Gesturing towards the desk, he continued, his voice laced with disdain, "I've already had a chat with Jeno here... but I'd like to hear it from you. Did you steal these items?"

His eyes settled upon the incriminating evidence displayed on the desk—the dildo and the bottle of lube, silent witnesses to your foolishness. You merely shrugged, a nonchalant gesture that seemed to catch him off guard.

He sucked in a sharp breath. "You've been acting out, breaking rules since..."

"Since my mother died," you finished his unspoken words with a bitter edge.

The truth was, you had been defying rules long before that tragic event shattered your world. It was just that Mark had finally taken notice of your rebellious streak, particularly after he started sending you to that exclusive, expensive school and footing the bill for your reckless driving tickets. It had hurt, realizing that he only seemed to experience distant emotions—distant disappointment, distant pride, distant everything. But it wasn't you who had changed when the loss struck.

Still, you couldn't help but resent his attempt to guilt trip you using your mother's death. "Save the 'since your mom died' lecture for the drive home," you said sharply.

Mark scowled, a realization dawning upon you that you had never seen him truly angry. He had always kept his emotions at arm's length—detached disappointment, detached pride—those were the only versions of him you had witnessed lately. "Why did you do this?" he demanded, his voice laced with frustration.

"Because I wanted the damn dildo," you replied matter-of-factly. Your words hung in the air, unapologetic and unyielding. It didn't faze Mark. You even contemplated mentioning how lonely this summer would be since he had forbidden you from seeing those he deemed "bad influences."

"I understand, you know," Mark said, his voice devoid of its usual robotic tone. “And you could’ve paid for it, you have the money. I wouldn’t have judged you. We all need a release.”

You maintained your stance, reiterating and emphasizing your reasons. He just simply nodded. As you prepared to urge him forward, his hand landed firmly on your shoulder, and Jeno, the guard, promptly shut the door. 

“Mark, wha–”

Confusion tinged your voice as you questioned what was happening, but the air in the room suddenly grew colder, the atmosphere thick with tension.

"As I mentioned, I spoke to Jeno," he began, his voice chillingly detached. "He won't pursue legal charges, and I've taken care of the stolen merchandise. However..." He paused, his words hanging ominously in the air, "I believe it's time for you to learn a lesson."

In an instant, the fabric of your shirt was torn away, leaving you gasping in surprise. Before you could react, Mark forcefully maneuvered you across the room, bending you over the edge of the desk. Shock and fear coursed through your veins as you struggled to comprehend his actions.

"What are you doing?" You exclaimed, your voice trembling with a mixture of confusion and fear.

He leaned in close, his grip tightening on a fistful of your hair. "Sweetheart, we all have to control our desires and restrain our darker impulses," he whispered, his words laced with an unsettling intensity.

Your voice quivered as you registered the pressure against you, feeling something hard pressing into you. "What?!" you managed to utter, your mind reeling from the sudden turn of events.

“I’ve watched you prance around, debasing yourself, and I tried to reign myself in, thinking you just needed time. Time’s up.” With a forceful grip, he tore your skirt away, leaving you exposed and vulnerable. "You've continued to defy me, and now it's time for you to understand the consequences of letting others have their way."

You tried to twist and strike him, but the guard grabbed your arms, wrestled them behind your back, and cuffed them. “Your daddy paid for some more toys as well.”

You struggled in vain, yelled your head off, and screamed when a hand dipped underneath your underwear and rubbed your pussy. It was only when Jeno cut you off by forcing a cloth into your mouth that you realized that it was Mark’s. You thrashed and moaned when a finger entered you. Your body shuddered, going very still when the next one entered, stroking inside.

“I wonder if this will be an effective punishment. She seems to be enjoying it.”

You shook your head and let out a furious growl until Mark pulled you up, working you over with his fingers. “You’re already wet, huh?” He asked, though it didn’t feel like a question. It felt like an observation, like he’s commenting on the weather and not your obvious arousal. “Jeno, come look at her. She’s so needy.”

“Fuck, she’s so turned on by this.” Jeno said, licking his lips as he looked down at you. He grabbed your bra and tugged, straps biting into your skin until they gave way. You squealed when he pinched a nipple. Sobbed when, while fondling that breast, he put his mouth on the other.

You shook your head. This was not happening. Your stepfather and some rent-a-cop were not raping you in a backroom at a sex shop. You were not, despite Mark’s assertions, ‘dripping wet’. You did not like being manhandled by two guys who knew what they were doing.

This was not happening.

You looked up, seeing Jeno pull his shirt over his head and toss it aside. Your eyes immediately went back to the odd stains in the ground when they landed on Mark. You were certainly not intimidated by seeing your stepdad’s cock.

“This is your place of business, Jeno. So I’ll let you pick, which hole do you want?”

Okay, he had humiliated you, fondled you, but your stepdad wasn’t going to fuck you. He wasn’t going to team with some random asshole to fuck you.

“Ass.”

“Grease her up.”

You stiffened at that. Jeno tossed a bottle—that lubricant you stole, over to Mark, who had managed to wrestle your panties off you as while warding off your attempts to kick him. You tried thrashing and wriggling when they held you down and two slick fingers pressed into your ass. You never let anyone there before, and you were not going to let it happen now. You tensed, clenched, and let out a cry as the man forced his fingers inside you. Someone slapped your ass hard.

“It’ll hurt more if you keep being a stubborn bitch.” Jeno growled.

An angry, forced cough from Mark, and he corrected himself. “It’ll hurt more if you keep being stubborn.”

Apparently his stepdaughter was not a bitch, even if he was going to rape you. That was almost funny. Then your ass was slapped again and again. Mark fingered you roughly, forcing his digits in and twisting. Eventually, you yielded, relaxing your muscles. It did not go unnoticed.

“See, baby? You can be a good girl.”

Jeno stood up and walked over to the chair, sitting down and motioning towards himself. With a grunt, Mark hoisted you over his shoulder—damn, he was in shape—and approached. As much as you tried to break free, you couldn’t. Then Mark positioned you, and Jeno put one his hands on your hip. Something much thicker than those fingers pressed against your ass. You let out a muffled attempt at a “no” as you were pulled down.

He was big.

You yowled, planted your feet on the floor and tried to stand; only for Jeno’s arms to loop around your waist and pull you back down.

”Goddamn… Relax your stiff little body, you bitch… My cock won’t fit if you are so tight.” Jeno grunted into your ear and then moved his hand to your chin, taking out the gag. His thumb slipped inside your mouth, pressing at the back of your throat.

Somewhere in the back of your head as you were lifted up and down, you were thankful for that—hopefully he wouldn’t last long.

You didn’t think you could last if he didn’t finish right quick.

“Tell me how good I’m fucking your greedy little ass.” Jeno growled into your ear, a hand flicking down to rub your clit.

Your legs were struggling to stay wrapped around his, and you whimpered against his neck. Getting no response, his hand that was rubbing your clit now slapped you across the face, and his thrusts slowed yet got harder as he slapped you once more.

“What the fuck did I say? Tell me how good I’m fucking your ass!” He yelled, grabbing you by the chin to look up at him.

Your eyes stung with hot tears from the pleasure, already feeling the all too familiar knot in your stomach forming. “Please! It feels so good! M’want more!” You said through gritted teeth, whining in pleasure as he slapped you across the face once more.

“You dirty fucking whore, giving you my cock and you still want more, hmm?” Jeno knew you were close, he could tell from the way you tightened around him and from your breathing pattern. Your eyes flicked over to Mark, who now was walking over to you.

“Oh? Seems like our little whore’s enjoying this better than I thought.” He said, “I had a feeling you had the makings of a true anal slut here.”

You heard a loud ‘smack’ followed by a sharp stinging sensation exploding all over your pussy as you were  suddenly spanked. Causing it to clench around nothing.

“Shit. You were right man, she’s so fucking tight. She really might be an anal slut by the end of this.” Jeno grunted, laughing. His hips never stopped moving.

“Really now,” Mark chuckled as he cupped your chin, “Anything you want to say to that, baby?” 

“Th-That’s not-” You knew you were full of shit, but your pride didn’t want to admit to something embarrassing like that. With a gasp, you found yourself in a headlock. Your back was pressed against Jeno’s front, his forearm applied pressure on your windpipe.

“Now, now, it’s not good to lie like that.” He licked your face, gnawing at your earlobe. “Bad girls like you should be punished.” 

“I-I’m… N-Not a bad…” You tried to deny it, but the harsh grip around your neck made it hard to get the words out. Yet in some ways, you could only think about how good this was feeling. Causing your pussy to quiver and your ass coiling around.

Mark smirked with an amused brow, “I’m sorry, don’t think we caught that.’

“I-I’m…” 

The man leaned in closer, “Hm?” 

“I’m… bad… girl..” You uttered. 

They glanced at each other and grinned while Jeno grabbed and groped at your breasts, giving your chest a nice fondle. 

“Speak up slut,” he twisted a nipple causing you to moan, “So that we could hear you.” 

You looked up, tears started falling down your face. “I’m… a bad… girl…”

“That’s our girl,” The two cheered, laughing loudly at how cock-drunken you were. “Glad to see you’re finally realizing your true calling.” One of them said. 

“With that said, I think it’s high time I gave you a little reward.” An evil smirk curled Mark’s lips. You wriggled, trying to get off as he traced his fingers against your pussy. “Just as a curiosity, have you ever taken two cocks before?”

“No,” you said, out of breath.

“Yeah, thought so.” He grabbed onto your hips lining his cock up to your cunt, while Jeno leaned you back a little.  

Fuck. Mark smirked and watched as your face twisted into something horrified. 

“Look at that, your old man is coming to join in. You gonna behave for him? Hmm, princess?”

With those words leaving Jeno’s mouth, it sent you over the edge completely, nearly screaming as you came right when Mark shoved his cock in your pussy. He hissed with how tightly you were clenching around him. Your back arched high, and Jeno continued to pound into your ass. You choked and gasped for air, the pleasure became too much for you to handle.

“P-please… S-stop!” you stuttered pathetically, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to push Mark away with your legs. 

You were stuffed past the point you thought you would burst. They started out uncoordinated, being bounced up and down the big guy’s cock while the other slammed in awkwardly. But they soon found a rhythm, each withdrawing at the same time, and slamming you down on their cocks tougher. Over and over.

It was overwhelming.

“Look at your slutty fucking stepdaughter, Mark. Such a little whore,” Jeno laughed, continuing to abuse your ass with his cock.

Mark smirked as he flicked your nipple, “Does your daddy’s cock feel good inside you, princess?” then gave it a painful twist. “Wanna be a little cumslut?”

You just moaned in response, unable to form coherent words.

“I think,” Jeno reached up and pinched at your other nipple, “your daddy asked you a question.”

“Yes! Yes, I wanna be your little cumslut, please.”

Everything happening all at once was making you lose your breath. You could feel the coil tightening in your stomach. Both of the cocks hitting that sweet spot inside you. Before you even had time to react, you saw white. Your whole body lunged forward as you came around both of their cocks again, soaking them. Words couldn’t even leave your open mouth, your brain not working properly.

“Jesus Christ,” a voice said, and you couldn’t register whose. “Did you see that?”

“Yeah,” another one came. “She squirted with two cocks fucking her. Such a dirty slut, aren't you?” Several slaps landed onto your face. You assumed it’s Mark because of his position.

You couldn’t think straight anymore, body shaking pathetically under him.

“T-too… much,” you whimpered through gritted teeth, your knees moving to try and push Jeno away.

Mark roughly forced his cock back in your pussy, his own orgasm so close. With sporadic quick thrusts, Jeno bottomed out inside your ass, and you could feel it all, warm and coating every inch of your walls. You were screaming, and he held his cock inside you for a few moments before slowly pulling out of you, grunting and panting as he regained himself. 

Mark’s hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing hard and grunting as you clawed at his hands. “Gonna fill you up with my cum, and you’re gonna take it all, right princess? Gonna be stuffed full of our cum?” He growled into your ear, before straightening again.

You couldn’t think straight anymore, sobs and moans escaping your lips as he fucked your sensitive cunt. Within seconds, Mark thrusted one last time into you before you felt his thick load spurting inside of you. He let out an animalistic growl as he came, grinding his hips slowly against you.

When he finished, he paused a while, nipping at your neck. Then he pulled out, and you were shoved off Jeno, sent sprawling into your stepfather. He gently laid you on your side. You laid there, face pressed against the filthy floor as clothes rustled.

“Again, thank you for calling me in on this, fuckface.” Mark said. The hell? He knew the fucking rent-a-cop.

“No worries. I didn’t believe her when she dropped your name—the picture you showed didn't quite match up.”

Picture? You forced yourself to look at the two, both half-dressed.

Mark had opened his wallet. “It is a few years old. She started dying her hair shortly after it was taken. Started wearing contacts, too.”

“What?”

“Ah, baby. Yes, me and Jeno go fairly far back.” Mark said, nodding. “I have a lot of business interests, and that means a lot of varied social circles.”

“So… about her…” Jeno said, trailing off.

Mark shrugged, contemplating the situation. "I'll leave her in your hands while I head home to fetch a change of clothes for her. Once that's done, we can make a few calls to ensure the lesson continues."

A whimper escaped your lips, particularly as Mark referred to leaving you in Jeno's "care." As if on cue, he dumped a bag containing chains and clamps onto the desk, casting a wicked grin in your direction. You instinctively tried to edge away, but Mark leaned in closely, lowering himself to one knee.

"Luckily for you, summer vacation has just begun, so you won't miss any school while you're grounded," he stated firmly, his tone holding an unusual warmth. You shook your head, refusing to accept what was unfolding before you.

"Baby," he continued, "it's crucial for you to learn that actions come with consequences. However, you're a smart girl, and with proper guidance, I'm confident we can improve your behavior."

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

will you please give us examples of resources to look at if we want to learn more about the concept of gender and maybe even transness in Medieval Europe? thanks!

whooooo boy right, there's a lot! I wanna start this by saying that I am very much not an expert, and I only have access to stuff I can find for free and the handful of books I can afford to buy second hand. Most of my research has been around gender as it relates to transness and GNC people. I am absolutely missing stuff, or have forgotten stuff, or simply lack the know-how to find stuff.

There's a few bits I've got on a TBR but haven't read yet - some I've included and some I haven't, depending on the source and how established it is.

Also: this is medieval Europe. The way pronouns are used to describe people don't really align with modern views of sex and gender. Also be aware of old-fashioned language use (for example, some texts talk about "hermaphrodites"). Remember that the way we talk about gender and trans identities is far different to how we even spoke about it 20 years ago.

So with that out of the way... I am chucking this under a read more, because it's long:

---

GENDER

Medieval ideas around gender were different to how we now think about it. The Hippocratic view of gender saw gender as a sort of wet/dry, cold/hot spectrum upon which men were at one end and women the other (and in the middle were intersex people). The male body was seen as hot and dry, and the female as cold and wet. The cold, wetness is what made women try to seek out heat from guys. A lot comes down to humors rather than genitals - if you're hot and dry, that innately means you grow a penis, because the heat sorta forces it out. So the marker is that penis = man, but you only have that penis in the first place because of your hot, dry humor.

Some people believed the vagina was an inverted penis - as in, the penis turned outside in. Some schools of thought believed that both men and women produced "seed", and that both were needed for conception. These thoughts and ideas shifted around a lot.

The Hippocratic view shifted towards Aristotelian ideas around the 12th Century, where the male/female divide was a lot stronger. There were also surgeons throughout all these periods who sought to "correct" intersex genitalia with surgery (how little things change).

This podcast (I've linked to a transcript, because I have more time to read than listen to things) with Dr Eleanor Janega is super interesting. In fact, I'd recommend reading her whole blog, which is fascinating. She also has a book out (but I've not read it so I can't give a yay or nay on that one)

The Meanings of Sex Difference in the Middle Ages by Joan Cadden seems to be a good source on this, but I've not read it so I can't vouch for it 100%.

I've listed below some real people who could fit into our modern interpretation of transness, and the fact that all of these people were only "outed" when arrested or at their death makes me think that there were probably a lot more people at the time who would also fit into this category. It does feel (to me, a layman) that you could rock up in a new town and go "hello I'm Jeff the Man" and people would just accept that.

It's also important to note that the majority of sources I've found are about people we could define as trans men (FTM). I've only found one person who could be described as a trans woman. If anyone out there has more sources for trans women, I'd love to hear them - specifically in medieval Europe/England.

There's also a big discussion to be had around the idea of women dressing as men to achieve a goal. People love getting into arguments about it. My general rule is that if someone lived as X gender, and was forcibly outed against their will or at death, then I feel we can more safely assume that their experience maps more closely onto a trans narrative than it does one of a woman taking on the "disguise" of a man.

---

TRANS & GNC ACADEMIA

Here's some of the sources I've been using that examine medievalism through a trans or trans-adjacent lens.

Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography, Alicia Spencer-Hall & Blake Gutt - a deep dive/collection of essays about medieval religious figures/saints through a trans lens, specifically about cross-dressing figures. Really fascinating, and available on open access.

How to be a Man, Though Female: Changing Sex in Medieval Romance, Angela Jane Weisl - goes into detail about medieval texts in which characters change their sex.

Transgender Genealogy in Tristan de Nanteuil, Blake Gutt - trans theory in the story Tristan de Nanteuil.

Trans Historical: Gender Plurality before the Modern, edited by Greta LaFleur, Masha Raskolnikov & Anna Kłosowska - A great big examination into trans history/gender. I desperately want this book.

Clothes Make the Man, Female Cross Dressing in Medieval Europe, Valerie R. Hotchkiss (book, no online source available) - Another look into women dressing as men and gender inversion.

The Shape of Sex, Leah DeVun (book) - A history of nonbinary sex, 200 - 1400BC. Not read this one yet but it's on my TBR.

In fact, I'd recommend all of Leah DeVun's work, which I'm currently making my way through. I'm currently reading Mapping the Borders of Sex.

The Third Gender and Aelfric's Lives of Saints, Rhonda L. McDaniel - An examination into the idea of a "third gender" in monastic life based around chastity and spiritualism

Erecting Sex: Hermaphrodites and the Medieval Science of Surgery, Leah DeVun - an essay about "corrective" surgery on intersex individuals in the 13th/14th centuries. (I've not fully read this one yet but the topic is relevant)

----

TRANS FIGURES

Joseph/Hildegund (died 1188) - A monk who, upon his death, was discovered to have a vagina/breasts.

Eleanor Rykener (1394) - A (likely) trans sex worker arrested in 1394 (and another source that isn't wiki)

Katherina Hetzeldorfer (killed 1477) - An early record of a "woman" being executed for female sodomy. Katherina dressed and presented as a man, and some scholars read them as a trans man.

Marinos/Marina the Monk (5th Cent) - A monk who was born a woman and lived as a man in a monastery. Marinos was accused of getting a local innkeeper's daughter pregnant. Their "true sex" was discovered upon their death.

-----

ROMANCES* & GENDER

If you're interested in the idea of gender presentation and trans-adjacent stories, I very much recommend taking a look at some contemporary sources. I've tried to take a sort of neutral approach to pronouns for these descriptions, but it's hard to marry the medieval and modern ideas of sex and gender! The titles are all links.

*Romances here means Chivalric Romances: prose/verse narratives about chivalry, often with fantastic elements. Not, like, falling in love Romances.

Le Roman de Silence (13th Cent) - in order to ensure inheritance, a couple raise their daughter as a boy. The baby is called Silence/Silentius/Silentia. The poem features the forces of Nature and Nurture, who argue about Silence's "true" gender - Nature claims they're a girl, and Nurture claims they're a boy. Silence has a variety of adventures, largely referred to in the text as a man with he/him pronouns, and at the end their "true gender" is discovered and, as a woman, they marry the king.

Yde et Olive (15th Cent) - to avoid being married to their own father, Yde, a woman, disguises themselves as a man and becomes a knight. They end up in Rome, where the king marries them to their daughter, Olive. After a couple of weeks, Yde tells Olive about their "true gender", but the conversation is overheard. The King demands Yde bathe with him to prove they are a man. An angel intervenes and transforms Yde's body into that of a man.

Iphis and Ianthe (Greek/Roman myth, but also in Ovid's Metamorphois, which first came to England in the 15th Cent) - Telethusa is due to give birth, but her husband tells her that if the baby is a girl he'll have it killed. When she gives birth to a girl, she disguises the baby as a boy. Eventually, Iphis is engaged to Ianthe. (Incidentally, this is also a really early example of same-sex romance, as Iphis struggles with their love for Ianthe "as a woman"). Before the wedding, Iphis and Telethusa pray at the temple of Isis, who transforms Iphis into a man.

Tristan de Nanteuil (11th/12th Cent) - from the Chanson de geste, after his alleged death, Tristan's wife, Blanchandin/e, disguises themselves as a Knight. Clarinde, a sultan's daughter, falls in love with them. Blanchandin manages to hide their "true sex", but when Clarinde demands they bathe with her to prove they are a man they flee into the woods. There, they meet an angel who asks if they want to be transformed into a man. Blanchandin accepts and he is turned into a man for the rest of the poem. (Incidentally the angel gives him a giant cock. Yes, the text specifies this).

Le Livre de la mutation de fortune (1403) - written in the first person by Christine de Pizan, the poem describes how the narrator is transformed by Fortune into a man after the death of their husband during a storm at sea. They maintain that 13 years after the event, they are still living as a man. (They also mention Tiresias, a Greek mythological figure who was a man transformed into a woman for seven years).

Okay, for now - that's about all I can think of. Happy reading!

[immortalmrwavell]

Sam’s Choice - The Yellow Box

(Original story posted December 7th 2021) Minor corrections and Updates!

Make sure to read ➡️ The Prologue ⬅️ first!

Sam’s gaze darted between the three boxes. Weirdly this felt like one of the biggest choices of his life. Simply picking a box. And yet it probably was since his life could take a very different turn depending on which box he chooses.

It took some time for him to finally come to a decision. Wavell was surprisingly patient though, sitting back in an armchair as he watched Sam struggle. But eventually after taking a long deep breath, he grabbed one of the three boxes. “This one.” he said as held up none other than the *yellow* box.

“Alrighty then. Yellow it is.” Looking satisfied, Wavell snapped his finger with a glow once more causing the remaining two boxes to vanish in a puff of smoke. “Now. Usually I tend to stick around for the next part… but I think I’ll give you some privacy for this. Besides, I can always use my *magic crystal ball* to rewatch what's about to happen.” Wavell laughed, waving his hands about.

Despite that, Sam couldn’t tell if Wavell was being serious about that or not. He only gulped as Wavell returned to his ghostly form before disappearing through the walls of the hotel. Finally leaving Sam alone with the yellow box.

He sat back down on the bed, resting the box on his lap before gently gripping the underside of the lid. There was a pounding sensation in his chest that felt like a mix of both excitement and anxiety as he slowly but surely pulled off the lid.

Setting the lid down beside him Sam looked in the box to see a pair of dirty brown work boots. Stuffed inside each boot was a thick white woollen sock to match them. Immediately Sam could tell that they were well used. All the scuffs and dirt marks on the boots made that much obvious.

Sam pulled out one of the boots to inspect it a little closer. He turned it around, getting a good look at the size and shape of the boot. It was definitely a fair bit bigger than the shoes he’d usually buy. But more notable was the amount of dirt it was also caked in. Especially underneath. This in mind Sam had to guess they were the boots of a tradie worker of some description. Or even a lumberjack perhaps? Just the mere idea of that was getting him excited as he imagined the type of body a man who wore these boots would have. Most of the tradie’s and lumberjacks he’d seen were big strong manly men. Ones with thick muscular bodies and bucket loads of testosterone. The thought of becoming one sounded beyond delightful.

As he continued to fantasise about what the owner of the boots looked like, Sam was quick to remember that said owner was with him right now! In the form of these very boots!

“Damn I hope you’re one of the big guys.” Sam grinning at the inanimate boot before sticking his hand inside and pulling out one of the thick wool socks. It was damp and stained with sweat. Pressing the sock to his nose, Sam inhaled what could only be described as the powerful musky scent of a real working man. All that sweat and stench trapped in the thickness of those white socks, causing them to yellow slightly. They emitted an aroma that was practically irresistible to a guy like Sam. He had his nose buried in that woollen sock for a good couple minutes before coming up for air. “Ahhhhhhhhh…” Sam hummed. “Smells like a hard day's work.”

Of course he couldn’t help but shove his nose inside the boots as well. Much to his joy they smelt just as deliciously musky as the sock did. Brimming with man smell. It made his cock swell even harder as he thought about some tradie guy being trapped in the form of his own smelly work boots. Unable to speak or fight back as Sam smelled them.

Before he knew it Sam was already ripping off his own socks and shoes. Tossing them aside with excitement before grabbing both of the thick wool socks. Sam couldn’t help but shudder in pleasure as he slid his feet into the worn yellowed socks. The cold sweat trapped inside the socks doused his feet in their smell. Not only did he love knowing that his feet were being enveloped by a real man's sweat but the socks were actually super comfortable as well! Win win!

Next was the boots. Sam took far too much delight in shoving his socked feet inside the damp boots and allowing them to become even more consumed by the musk. It was bone chilling in the most erotic way possible. As soon as they were on, Sam stood up from the bed and looked down at the work boots he now adorned, wriggling his feet inside with excitement and anticipation.

And then finally it started.

A tornado of magic began to surge and spin around Sam, blurring his vision of the hotel room. Before he had time to panic or do anything however, he doubled over in discomfort and rising tension as the most bizarre sensation overtook his body. Sam squeezed his eyes shut as the feeling flooded every nerve. He could feel something changing within him. His body was transforming itself dramatically but he could hardly open his eyes to see what was happening. A confusing mixture of pain and pleasure took over as everything about his appearance changed in order to transform him into a perfect visage of the man that once wore those dirty work boots. Even his clothes seemed to change!

After what felt like an eternity, the transformation began slow as it reached completion. The whirlwind of magical energy started to dissipate just as Sam opened his eyes. Immediately he could tell he was no longer in the hotel. As the magic vanished completely,

Sam could see that he was now standing in what seemed to be a small bathroom. He didn’t get much of a chance to look around however as right in front of Sam was a mirror and the man looking back at him certainly wasn’t the same man he’d been a few moments ago.

Instead of the hairless twinkish face he’d been used to seeing all his life, he saw the face of an older rugged looking man. He looked to be in his early 30’s with a few subtle lines etched into his skin, foreshadowing the wrinkles to come. His face was large and square, his features tough and angular. A thick dark beard covering his jaw, the likes of which Sam had never dreamed of being able to grow. Not to mention those dark masculine eyes that could send shivers down your spine.

Sam was swift to notice the clothes he was wearing too. Or rather the lack of clothes. He was practically naked besides the boots and socks, a trucker hat sat firmly on his head and tight white jockstrap that did well to show off his now hefty package. The lack of clothes wasn't his main concern however. Rather it was the fact that he’d gone from being a twink to a big hairy bear!

Sam almost couldn’t believe his eyes as his huge meaty hands wandered down his body. His pecs were so huge and meaty that he couldn’t help groping them and teasing his nipples. His stomach thick and strong while pushing slightly over the waistband jockstrap with the excess pudge. And of course he’d be insane if he didn’t appreciate the incredible fur covering it all. Gently rubbing his fingers through the dense coating of manly body hair that graced his masculine form.

“Fuuuuuck yesssss…” Sam grunted. “I feel so… meaty.” He mumbled in a very husky baritone voice as he groped at his pecs some more, enjoying the mix of fat and muscle that made up his burly frame.

After that his attention slowly drifted towards his arms. First giving them a squeeze before bringing them up into a double bicep pose. Just seeing those massive balls of muscle flex was enough to get Sam’s new cock to strain against the pouch of his new jockstrap. He loved just how huge they were and how strong his arms felt. It could’ve just been the testosterone flooding through him but he found himself wanting to pick up the heaviest weights he could find and start testing his strength. Or better yet to do it at a gym where he could show off how powerful he was!

Sam took a few more moments to admire his arms, squeezing the bulky muscle before giving his new face and beard a little attention. He loved the feeling of finally having a full beard after having never been able to grow one himself. His former genetics had pretty much screwed him when it came to masculine traits like that. But now? He had a beard most men would be jealous of! He made sure to admire it before inspecting his new facial features. Before Sam had always looked very young and boyish despite being in his late 20’s. But this new face was the complete opposite of that. Now had the face of a mature blue collar bear that would linger in the wet dreams of almost any gay man that laid eyes upon him.

Eventually Sam ended up turning his backside to the mirror. Thanks to the jockstrap he was wearing he got a nice full view of his huge new bear butt. He groped his cheeks a little, enjoying both their juicy thickness and the layer of fur covering them. In all the excitement Sam’s new cock began to leak precum into his jockstrap. Noticing this he started to rub and feel his cock through the pouch. It felt about average length but the girth was something else. It really was a beer can cock!! Fitting for a bear like himself

Sam cupped and jiggled his furry ass a little more before returning his left hand to admire his chest once again. Meanwhile his right hand continued stroking and tugging on his erection through the jockstrap, his left hand couldn’t help but cup and grope his pecs some more. He didn’t even get to pull his cock out of its pouch the moment he started pinching his nipples again, a deep groan to escape his bearded lips. An intense shock of bliss and pleasure flooded Sam’s groin in a tidal wave ecstasy. His cock and balls were consumed by the feeling, allowing for the most incredible sensation to sweep through his body. Sam was unable to stop himself as he let out another moan, this one sounding closer to a primal roar, before shooting a fat load and soaking the front of his jockstrap. That was the trigger for the memories.

Suddenly Sam’s mind was barraged with the memories belonging to the man he’d become. His new name was Eric Harbour and, just as he’d thought, he worked in construction. A bricklayer in fact. Following this he was hit with memories of all the people in this man’s life. Family, friends but most importantly co-workers. It seemed that Eric was already gay and was very open about it. So open in-fact that he’d gone ahead and fucked a handful of his fellow bricklayer mates. Even more surprising was that he almost exclusively bottomed. Sometimes even on the construction sites. A ballsy move that’s for sure. Also goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover.

Once the memory wave had subsided, Sam then remembered where the real Eric was as he looked down at the scruffy brown boots he was wearing. Reaching down, Sam pulled a boot off and gave it another sniff. Just knowing that the smell radiating from it was now his own was already making his cum coated cock start to chub up again.

“Your body is everything I ever could have wished for Eric.” Sam stated as he flexed one of his thick biceps once again. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life being a hot daddy bear and you’ll get to watch me live that dream while being filled by your own smelly feet.” He taunted with a twisted grin. “Don’t worry I’ll try to wear you as often as possible.” Sam teased maliciously before shoving the boot back over his sweaty socked foot.

Sam then grabbed Eric’s phone that had been sitting beside the sink and began snapping some photos of his hot new body. He even took a video of himself flexing and feeling himself up. Partially for his own pleasure of course. But also because just before the real Eric had been turned into his boots by Wavell, he’d been sending photos to one of his bricklayer buddies that he planned on getting fucked by. He took a lot of pleasure in worshiping himself and taking plenty of ass pics just to get the perfect ones for the hung hairy otter he was sending them to.

———

When the real Eric was first transformed, he was terrified. One moment he was standing in his bathroom wearing almost nothing but a jockstrap. He’d been getting ready to take some photos for one of work buddies but the next minute he was on his bathroom floor and someone seeing from two different perspectives at once. All he could do was smell the familiar musky oder of his own socks and boots.

He was completely helpless. Unable to scream or beg as a strange middle aged looking man picked him up and put him inside a yellow box. After that the next thing he knew he was being pulled out of said box by another unfamiliar man.

It didn’t take long for him to figure out he’d been transformed into the very boots he’d been wearing. Yet when that realisation hit him, Eric was scared beyond belief! Not being able to help wondering how the hell that was even possible!? But deep down something about it seemed kinda hot… as wrong as that sounded.

What came after that however was almost even more unbelievable. This unfamiliar man actually put Eric’s two boot bodies on his feet and once that was done the whole world spun around them. Moments later Eric was suddenly looking up at his own damn body! After that it didn’t take long for him to figure out this man had just just stolen his body and identity by wearing him! And now he was excitedly feeling up Eric’s former body!!

Eric was surprised at how quick this imposter unloaded his cum. It seemed like he was even surprised by the look on his stolen face. After that though the imposter was different. It almost seemed like him cumming had unlocked something. Eric didn’t have much time to figure that out though as moments after this, his imposter pulled off one of Eric's boot bodies and brought it up for a sniff. It was by far the most bizarre thing Eric had ever experienced. Seeing his own face pressing inside him and sniffing deep. He should’ve hated it but for some strange reason he kinda enjoyed it when his own stolen body started inhaling his musk from Eric’s boot body.

The body snatcher told Eric that he would enjoy his new body and that Eric would spend the rest of his existence serving his old body as its smelly work boots. Once again Eric knew he should’ve been angry about this as his boot body slipped back on his old smelly foot but… he wasn’t. Somehow the idea of spending his life as a smelly boot slave to his former body and getting to smell his own sweaty stench almost everyday sounded weirdly enticing to him. He was actually sort of grateful when his new owner told him that he’d try to wear him as often as possible. Like it was some sort of blessing.

———

Several weeks had passed since Sam took over Eric’s life and he’d slotted into the role perfectly. He didn’t know if it was something about Eric’s body or not but he somehow just fell in love with being a bricklayer. Perhaps it was all the other sweaty men he got to surround himself with on a daily basis.

On that note Wavell had eventually decided to check in on Sam to see how he was settling in. He floated into Eric’s (Sam’s) new apartment to find that he most definitely seemed to be making the most of his new body. The new Eric was on all fours on his bed displaying his huge furry ass to the same hairy otter that he’d been messaging the day he became Eric.

Wavell watched curiously as the smaller bearded man, who’s name was Dan, groped his ass and devoured Eric’s hole hungrily, Eric groaning in satisfaction the entire time. Just then Wavell noticed the pair of boots containing the real Eric’s soul placed nearby the bed with a perfect view. Wavell chuckled to himself as he could sense just how much the original Eric was enjoying watching his old body get his ass eaten. Not to mention that, unlike most inanimate slaves, he���d seemingly given little to no resistance when accepting his new role. Almost like he wanted it from the start.

And so with that the mysterious man figured that his work here was most definitely a success. However Wavell didn’t want to leave just yet as it looked like things were about to heat up as Dan started lubing up his cock and fingering the new Eric’s hole. Moments after the otter plunged his cock inside Eric’s warm welcoming hole, earning him a mighty moan in response. As he watched, Wavell began to feel a tightening in his own pants. He might’ve been a powerful warlock but he was still part human after all. And this was *hot*.

He stayed just long enough to watch Dan dump his load inside Eric, leaving Eric panting face down on the bed with a dumb grin on his face. Dan laid down on top of the bear, completely oblivious to the fact that it was a completely different man inhabiting Eric’s body. Not that it mattered since Sam would never be leaving. He was Eric now. For good.

Wavell saw the two of them share a passionate kiss and took that as his sign to leave them be for now. His work here was done.

[gii-1]

hii!! hope ur doing good!! could you do hcs for the boys with an s/o who has narcolepsy??

-jjk boys with a reader who has narcolepsy

ft. yuji, megumi, inumaki, yuta

notes: since i had no idea what narcolepsy was, i had to do a bit of research. i might be way off on what it is, so please correct me if i am.

yuji ->

• when he first noticed, you both were having a conversation and you randomly fell asleep.

• he kept shaking you gently asking what happened, thinking you were looking down at something that was making you look so still.

• once he realised that was not the case, he thought you had went paralysed and was panicking

• he called for shoko frantically asking for help, once she explained you had narcolepsy he calmed down a bit.

• after that incident he always brings a pillow when you are there, scared you will fall asleep again.

• he always asks if you had a nap today, and since you’re not allowed caffeine whenever you two or in a group go out he makes sure that you don’t accidentally get any.

• if you have a sudden weakness in your muscles, he will definitely be by your side at all times to help you.

• i feel like he’d carry you around everywhere

• he also asks how good you sleep was and how comfy it was, if it wasn’t he’d probably ask gojo for a new mattress and some pillows.

• hes constantly asking you how you are aswell making sure you’re in top shape, he’s never had his guard down and is ready if you have a sleep attack or your limbs go weak.

• in lessons where you can’t focus on things properly, he locks in and make sure he does notes on everything you missed so you can see later.

megumi ->

• when he firsts notices your extreme tiredness at times, he originally thinks its from the exhaustion of doing missions but he had a nagging feeling that it was something else.

• i have a very strong feeling he already knew a bit about narcolepsy from the fact he loves nonfiction books.

• so that means he was prepared when he first found out about your narcolepsy.

• this guy definitely keeps some sort of unconscious (very organised) timetable in his head about what times you had your nap.

• he always checks if you followed the timetable, checking in on how many times you had a nap.

• if you complained, or if he asked you, about the comfort of your sleep and it was uncomfortable then (like yuji) he would go to gojo and get you anything sleep related to help you.

• if you weren’t able to pay attention in class because it was hard to focus on things, you can always rely on him because he has the most neat notes in the world, despite his handwriting being a bit messy as he had to write quick, he’s a pro at organised notes.

• he will get used to your narcolepsy quickly and is very understanding of how tired or irritated you act sometimes, he won’t take it to heart.

• after finding out, he would be a lot more patient with you and think about your safety.

• thinking about your safety a lot more is definitely integrated into his lifestyle now

inumaki ->

• you guys were in a restaurant and you randomly fell asleep, he was poking your forehead trying to wake you up, he didn’t want your soon-to-come food to get cold.

• when he found out about your narcolepsy, he was interested by it.

• he would do missions for you if he felt like it was your time to have a nap

• when you get a sleep attack in random places he will try his best to make sure you’re in a comfortable position so you don’t wake up sore.

• he is unconsciously always thinking if you had enough sleep that day, especially during missions.

• if you’re really feeling sleepy while you were hanging out in a group, he’d take you to your dorm right away

• even though he can’t talk at most times, he’ll always make sure that you know he’s concerned for your health and will be there for you.

• i feel like you guys both look out for each other sometimes, like you would always have cough medicine incase he doesn’t have any, and he would always make sure that you got enough of your quality sleep.

• sometimes he relates to you as you both have things in your life that affects your health drastically, so that makes your relationship with him a bit closer because of that.

yuta ->

• he was very scared when he first found out

• he’s a gentleman.

• he always makes sure you know the material properly in class and he goes over it with you to make sure that you understand whats going on.

• every time you go to sleep in random places he will find something soft for you to rest your head on, whether its his clothes or his belongings he wants your sleep to be comfortable.

• it doesn’t even matter to him, like it could be so cold that your eyelashes freeze and he’d still take off his jacket for you to sleep on.

• if you feel even slightly tired he will escort you to your dorm, he gets anxious that you wont feel good and will start feeling tired and unfocused.

• he always asks you if you need anything

• definitely got spare blankets during hangouts so he can cover you with it when you sleep, so you don’t feel cold while sleeping.

• whenever he’s at shops he always looks at the pillows and feels them if they are up to his standards of comfort, then if they meet those standards he will buy them for you.

• he would do everything for you if you’re limbs start feeling really weak, he’d always keep you in a comfortable position so it doesn’t make you ache after.

[spideyjimin]

PART I: SHIVERS | un cielo di perle

“un cielo di perle” means a sky of pearls in italian

⏤ pairing: taehyung x female reader 

⏤ genre: college au, rich kid!taehyung, strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst, and smut 

⏤ rating: 18+

⏤ words: 5,981

⏤ summary: taehyung doesn’t know how to love, he actually has never loved anyone, not even himself. he dreams of escaping this life, a life where he can do whatever he wants and where his parents don’t exploit him. his dream becomes a reality when he meets you; however, it comes with a challenge. at first, you hate him. but as the saying goes, there’s only one step between hate and love. and when taehyung loves, he can steal a sky of pearls for his lover.   

⏤ warnings: mature language, swearing, mention of sex, sexual tension, mention of epilepsy, mention of heartbreak, mention of breakup, mention of cheating, mention of financial struggles, and mention of health issues

⏤ author’s note: the first part is finally here! 🥳 it's been a while since it's ready but i wanted to be back from holidays to properly read it and correct it before posting it 🤗 i'm actually very excited with this series, i have soo many ideas for this & i truly hope you'll enjoy it. don't hesitate to let me know what you think of it 💜

⏤ playlist: brividi - Mahmood ft. Blanco

SERIES MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

Running through the campus, you mentally check that you took all your belongings. It would be a nightmare to get them back, probably someone would steal them. In the best-case scenario, you’d have to go to the lost and found office. That doesn’t enchant you really well. 

But you’re running out of time. Today’s lectures ended super late, and you must be at the store where you work. The manager is quite harsh and isn’t very kind when someone is late. That has never happened to you. You always make sure to be on time since you’re the type to be a people-pleaser. Being late isn’t even possible, so you run to catch the bus and ensure you’re on time. 

As you reach the pedestrian crossing, a stupid car passes by and almost knocks you over. Luckily, you take a quick step back to avoid being hurt. You instantly yell, insulting the driver since the person seems not to have seen you. When you yell, you see the driver, he’s also looking at you and you show him your best middle finger, making him understand that he’s an asshole. 

“Asshole,” you aggressively shout.

Nonetheless, the second you realize who it is, you instantly regret it. That man is no other than Kim Taehyung. He’s for sure the most recognizable man in the entire campus but he’s also the son of the big boss of your shop. Well, to make it short, you work at one of the many Kim Couture’s shops and it happens that the company was created by the Kim family. A family that Taehyung is part of. 

The cherry on top is that Taehyung will be coming to the store you’re working at. The other point is that he saw you yelling and showing your middle finger. A devious smirk appeared on his face. 

Shit! You’re definitely in trouble. 

Taehyung isn’t just Taehyung. He’s known to be a fucker, and a good one apparently, a rich kid, full of himself, pretentious, popular, exasperating, and crazily annoying. He thinks he’s the king of the world. That’s the way you perceive him.

At the end of the day, he’s a guy who grew up with a golden spoon in his mouth. He always had everything he wanted, and everybody always licked his boots. He does whatever he wants with people. It’s quite annoying but you won’t deny that he is charismatic. 

Again, that’s the way you perceive him but you ignore that it’s far from being the truth. 

Quickly after, the bus arrives and you jump in it. Your heart is beating like crazy, you’re so scared of what will happen and what Taehyung will do or say. After all, he’s your big boss’ son. If he desires to fire you, he has the power to do it. You absolutely don’t want to lose this job. It was already hard to find one with your limited experience, but you need to keep it. The tuition fees are costly. 

Getting into a prestigious university was your biggest dream, and through some miracle, you managed to do it. It came with a lot of work, obviously. You were determined to be there. However, you thought that it would be harder than that. You believed that you needed to be the daughter of wealthy parents. But through your own efforts, you were accepted, and you’re quite proud of yourself. 

Having a job is what allows you to pursue your dream. Your parents insisted on helping with the tuition fees, but you don’t really want their financial assistance. This is your dream, not theirs, so they shouldn’t have to pay for it. That’s how you see things. Certainly, balancing your studies with your job isn’t easy. But you manage to make it work and you’re very proud of yourself. 

Of course, you appreciate the fact that your parents want to help, but the fees are extremely expensive. You don’t want your parents to ruin themselves to support you, they already face financial difficulties. You don’t want to be a burden for them. So, you’re going to work a lot and as much as you can to pay for everything on your own. 

Working at Kim Couture is definitely helping a lot. The wage is good, it allows you to even save some money. You wished to use it to help your parents but they refused. In some way, you take a lot after them, and you can all be very stubborn when it comes to finance. 

Once you arrive at your workplace, you run to the back to change yourself. There is a strict dress code to follow as a Kim Couture employee. Today, you even have to make an extra effort to dress even better than usual. You have to be perfect because Kim Jihyun, Taehyung’s father is coming.   

It doesn’t enchant you to meet him and his son today, especially after this incident with the son. 

“Mister Kim is coming in 5,” your boss, Namjoon informs you. 

You hurry up to avoid giving another reason for Taehyung to kick you out. It’s already enough you insulated him and showed him your middle finger. The outfit is quite simple, it’s a full black one and a full one created by Kim Couture. Jacket, t-shirt, classic pants, and shoes. Luckily, you can do whatever you want with your hair, the most important is to always be presentable. You always have to be impeccable under any circumstances. 

Through this job, you already had the opportunity to meet famous people, going from a king to a singer. A lot of them are surprisingly very nice and polite. Some others are the opposite, rude as fuck. Those ones, you hate them. With the little experience you have now, when someone enters the store, you can already tell if they are going to be nice or rude. It’s all in their aura. 

Once ready, you run to the front of the store and take place next to your colleagues. You are all lined up next to each other while Namjoon gives clear instructions. Mister Kim will only come to give a little visit, he does it annually. However, this year, it’s his second time visiting this one because this store has been doing great. In any case, it will be your first time meeting Mister Kim since you joined right after his last visit. 

Your colleagues described the man in a non-flattering way. Kim Jihyun is certainly one of the most famous people, there’s no doubt about it, but he’s a horrible person. He shows no mercy to anyone. If things aren’t done the way he wants, he literally explodes. The employees of his stores are treated like shit since they are poor. He inherited the Kim Couture house from his ancestors, he’s very wealthy but he’s definitely the worst person your colleagues have ever met. 

Hearing the stories shared by your coworkers gave you chills running through your spine. That man is, without any doubt, horrible. So, you have to be perfect today so you get to stay here. But now, your biggest concern is what Taehyung will do. Is he a piece of shit as well and he will kick you out?  

An impressive car halts in front of the store. The door is opened by the doorman and two imposing men make their way inside. To be fair, Mister Kim is a frightening person, but what his soul gives off is powerful. You can only have respect for him as he walks near you. He’s wearing a grey suit with a white shirt underneath. The outfit is completed with a dark trench coat. This man breathes money from afar.  

Your eyes move now to his son, Taehyung. He’s certainly very charismatic and he also gives off a strong energy, but not as powerful as his father’s. Unlike his parent, he’s wearing a blue polo shirt with an evident white shirt underneath, and white classic pants. For a second, you take him in. You heard so many things about him at uni, and a lot from your friend Nari. 

Nari is your best friend but also a rich kid. Her grandparents made a fortune by developing an intelligent program that is sold worldwide. You met her a couple of years ago and surprisingly, a very strong friendship blossomed. Both of you see the world differently, but that vision is what has brought you together. Obviously, you sometimes have very animated conversations because you come from two different worlds.  

Nari’s family is close to Taehyung’s family, so she knows him. She doesn’t spend much time with him because they are very different. The way she describes him is quite similar to the rumors people spread on campus. He’s a fuckboy, arrogant guy, full of himself, and a cold-blooded person. The fact that he’s wealthy as fuck makes his personality even worse. 

Taehyung’s eyes land on you. It’s obvious from the way he smiles that he recognizes you. Your heart starts beating crazily. Shit! He follows his father who is walking and examining all of you while Namjoon introduces you. As they do so, you bow in respect. 

“This is yn,” Namjoon says once in front of you. 

“Nice to meet you, Sirs Kim,” you bow to the men. 

They simply nod. The youngest doesn’t say anything which reassures you. Hopefully, today, you won’t be losing your job. For a couple of minutes, you stay in the same position while the other employees are introduced. Mister Kim then gives a little speech in which he says how proud he is of this store, and a lot of other things you honestly don’t listen to. 

Since you sit down on chairs while Mister Kim is giving his speech, you choose to sit at the extremity. So, nobody is sitting to your left. Well, that is until Taehyung decides to join you. At first, you don’t notice him since you’re focused on his father’s speech. 

“So I’m an asshole?” he whispers in your ear, causing you to jump in surprise. 

“For fuck’s sake, you scared me,” you instantly reply in a whisper. 

The same devious smile that was on his face earlier reappears. For a brief moment, your eyes meet his, but you quickly turn your face to look at his father. It makes you uncomfortable to have his glance directly on yours.  

“And to answer your question,” you very quickly look at him. “Yes, you are.” 

You’re hesitant to keep going, too scared that he could do something you’ll forever regret. 

“You were about to knock me over,” you add. 

“You’re being a tiny bit dramatic,” he instantly claps back at you. 

You roll your eyes, he’s being annoying. 

“Could you please let me listen to your father’s speech?” you raise without looking at him. 

He’s distracting you which isn’t good. His father is your big boss, he’s doing a speech and you have to listen to it. It’s rather important. 

“Why would I do that?” he asks back. “I’m an asshole after all.” 

You want to laugh, he’s stupid but it’s definitely not the right moment to be laughing. Namjoon will kill you if you do so. You absolutely don’t want to lose your job because of an asshole. So now, you decide to ignore him, to act like he isn’t even here. A smirk appears on his face when he realizes you’re ignoring him. 

For the rest of Jihyun’s speech, Taehyung leaves you alone, which you’re grateful for. All you wish for now is to not lose your job. That guy seems to be an absolute jerk and the son of your big boss so he has all the powers in his hand. 

Afterward, he leaves you completely alone, giving you some needed peace. Once his father finishes his speech, the two of them leave the store, but before doing so, Taehyung winks at you. You roll your eyes, causing him to laugh a little. The stupid man who almost knocked you over seems to be trying to flirt with you. Does it surprise you? No, because you’re convinced that he does that to every girl so they forgive him for being an asshole. 

But you’re not like the other girls, you won’t forget what he did. 

“Remember me why we’re studying?” Nari asks you while you’re walking. 

“To be badasses!” you jokingly answer. 

Nari laughs at your answer, but she couldn’t agree more with you. You’re studying to have an impressive degree so you can find impressive jobs. She’s aware that all of this is a hundred times harder for you than it is for her. If she doesn’t like this or wants to try something else, she’ll have her parents' money. However, on the other hand, you don’t have that. She knows how incredibly hard you worked to be here, and she knows that you wouldn’t have chosen something just for the fun of it. 

“I don’t want to attend classes today,” she replies. 

“Same,” you answer. “But we have to if we want to be the strongest bitches the world has ever known.” 

Nari admires you beyond comprehension. You’re always so optimistic, always seeing the bright side of everything when the world has shown no mercy to you. Since you’re thirteen, you’ve been battling with epilepsy. It has been a constant struggle but you have shown how strong you are. 

Nari doesn’t know that being positive and optimistic is what helps you fight this terrible and invisible disease. Otherwise, you would have gotten into depression a long time ago. Being positive allows you to genuinely be happy. 

“You’re right,” she says with a bright smile appearing on her face. 

“I’m always right.” 

The two of you enter the lecture hall and take a seat at a random place. It’s quite an impressive room and there aren’t that many students so you can choose wherever you want to sit. There are still a solid 10 minutes before the class starts so you animately keep talking. At a certain point, she frowns, and you turn your head to see what is causing that reaction. 

As you do so, you notice Taehyung coming in your direction. Deep down, you hope that he’s coming for Nari, but inevitably, you know it’s not the truth. You know he’s coming for you. 

“Hi, yn,” Taehyung says with a stupid smile on his face. 

“What do you want?” 

Nari is shockingly surprised by the way you answer him. She totally ignores what happened yesterday with Taehyung. You haven’t talked about it yet, but thanks to this idiot (or asshole as you prefer to call him), you’ll have to do it as soon as he leaves.  

“Calm down, miss dramatic,” you roll your eyes. “I went back to the store yesterday and I noticed you forgot this,” he hands you a personalized pen. 

This pen was offered to you by your dad some months ago. It’s a black pen with your name engraved on it in white. It’s a very pretty one, and for sure, it was expensive but you didn’t say anything. Since your parents didn’t offer you anything when you graduated, they offered you the pen as a little ‘good luck’ gift for this new step in your life. You love this pen, you always take notes with it.

Honestly, you didn’t even notice you left it at the store. However, you would have noticed it during this class as you wouldn’t have found it. It would have annoyed you but it won’t now since Taehyung brought it. 

In a way, it moves you that he considered bringing it back to you. Nonetheless, you’re convinced he has a reason to do it. This is Taehyung after all, he’s known for being selfish. He wouldn’t do this just to be nice to you. 

“You didn’t need to bring it, you could have left it there,” you tell him. 

Taehyung deeply exhales, you can see in his eyes that he’s a bit exasperated. 

“A simple thank you would have been enough,” he says. 

Before you can answer, the professor enters the lecture hall and Taehyung takes a seat somewhere else. You take a quick look at Nari. She’s definitely surprised by everything that just happened. You will need to tell her. It’s nothing major but it’s for sure shocking that this man even acknowledges your existence. Outside of wealthy people, he doesn’t know anybody else here. 

For a brief moment, you turn your face to look for him. You quickly find him and to your surprise, he’s also looking at you. 

In all honesty, you barely know him but you can tell that you feel a lot of mixed feelings. You kind of hate him for what he did yesterday, although hate is a strong word. You simply don’t really like him. However, he’s captivating. 

After the class, as you’re walking on the campus, you explain everything to Nari. There’s not much to be said but she’s your best friend so it’s normal for you to explain to her how you met Kim Taehyung. 

Taehyung wakes up with a massive headache. He drank too much as always. His eyes try to adjust to the light but it takes him some time since the room is fucking bright. His face turns to his left, only to find a girl sleeping on his bed. Nothing new. 

For the past two years, his life has been made up of parties, hangovers, and lots of sex. That’s how he enjoys life. Well, that’s how he believes he enjoys it. Deep down, he knows he chose this life because two years ago, he didn’t want to stay at home. It was way too hard to be there, and partying, drinking, and having sex is a lot easier. 

Having girls in his bed is way too easy for him. All the girls are crawling at his feet, desperate for a little bit of recognition. Of course, he’s more than aware that he’s charismatic and he plays with it. Flirting is like second nature to him. It doesn’t take him much to make a girl crave him. It’s quite an easy game for him. 

However, when he realizes the girl who’s sleeping next to him, it instantly wakes him up. Shit! It’s Hyejoo. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he rapidly says while getting up.

Hyejoo isn’t any girl, she’s the daughter of one of Kim Couture’s investors, Park Daehyun. She’s super wealthy, even wealthier than him so Jihyun decided that Taehyung has to date her. And in dating her, he means to marry her. Not right now but he has to get with her and stay with her until marriage. The purpose is to make her a Kim. That way, her family will forever invest in Kim Couture. Honestly, it’s well thought out but Taehyung doesn’t want her, doesn’t want to get married, and most importantly, he doesn’t want to be used for the company’s interest. Nevertheless, that’s nothing new. 

His father has always put the company first. The rest doesn’t matter. He got married to a wealthy woman for the company, but he never loved her. Made children with her to ensure the future of the business. Luckily, a boy was born first so he didn’t need to try many times before producing an heir. He got a daughter afterwards but it was just a plus. So in the end, he has absolutely no consideration for his daughter, Yseult. Basically, he acts like she doesn’t even exist which is quite destructive for her. Taehyung tries as much as he can to protect her but it’s sometimes almost impossible to protect her from their father. 

With time, his mother started to be like his father. Her family was only good if it benefited the company. She always agrees with Jihyun, and in the end, they both use Taehyung for the business. They don’t see him as their child or even like a human at all. They only see him as the future CEO and the new face of Kim Couture. So they don’t let him do much. For sure, they let him party right now so he can enjoy life before being in charge of the company. But enjoy is a strong word. He doesn’t enjoy anything. 

When Taehyung was young, he remembers how loving and caring his mother was. He hated his father who was very severe with him but he deeply loved his mother. She was his everything. But as he grew up and she started to change, he also started hating her. He felt no more love towards her. Today, he doesn’t love anyone, not even himself. His life is quite sad in the end. 

“Good morning Taehyung,” Hyejoo says when she wakes up. 

“I have to go,” he simply tells her. 

She’s a bit confused but he doesn’t give a shit about it. He storms out of the room and basically runs outside. As he does so, he calls his chauffeur to come and get him. His parents don’t let him drive as they are scared something will happen to him. They trust Minho to always drive him anywhere. Things are a bit different now that he is in college, he can drive alone during the week but during the weekend, he can’t. Minho has to drive him anywhere he wants to. In a matter of seconds, he arrives to pick him up. Hyejoo tries to catch him but she doesn’t arrive on time. 

“Can we go to some random coffee shop?” Taehyung asks. 

“Yes,” the chauffeur answers while nodding. 

Taehyung looks from the window. Flashbacks from last night came back, he drank a lot and Hyejoo flirted with him. At first, he pushed her back since he didn’t like her but she was insistent. As he was getting drunk, he was letting his guard down so in the end, he couldn’t resist her anymore. 

He rubs his face while mentally insulting himself. He should have resisted because now, she’ll run around him even more. Hyejoo loves Taehyung, it’s no secret to anyone. She’s always around him, trying to make him fall in love with her. She’s also convinced that he’ll date and marry her as his father plans. Although she totally ignores that he doesn’t like her at all. He couldn’t actually care less about her. 

They arrive at a coffee shop, it’s a small one but it looks so cozy inside. Minho opens the car’s door to Taehyung and he walks to the entrance. His chauffeur remains in front of the car, waiting for his boss’ child. Taehyung is only going to grab a coffee and some pastries to eat while going home. 

He stands in front of the bar and checks the menu. He’s starving so he’ll take all the pastries that he craves. He orders and then moves to the right, to the little space where customers patiently wait. As he walks in that direction, a girl turns around, causing them to hit each other. Since she was holding a coffee in her hands, he got coffee all over his blue shirt. 

“Fuck,” he swears. “Could have been..” 

As he speaks and lays his eyes down on the girl, he realizes that it’s you. 

“You, again,” you mumble as you notice that he’s the guy hitting you. “You should be more careful,” you instantly tell him. 

“You’re the one who hit me this time,” he replies. “I was just walking to get my order.” 

“Well, I was going to leave after receiving my order.” 

Being around each other makes you both feel something you both never felt for anyone else. It’s weird since you’ve only known each other for like 4 days. He didn’t even know you existed until he almost knocked you over. 

Now, he’s covered in coffee which angers him and you lost half of your coffee which angers you as well. 

“Pff,” you say. “Now I have to order a new coffee because of you.” 

“If you were more careful, you wouldn’t need to do that.” 

You roll your eyes. Around him, you’ve rolled your eyes a lot. You’re even surprised by it, nobody has ever made you do that so often. On the other hand, he absolutely hates when you do that, he’d even say that it almost pisses him off. 

“Fuck you,” you simply say back. 

He takes a step closer to you, your faces are now very close. There is barely any space between you, his eyes roaming your face before halting for a couple of seconds on your lips. Your heart is hammering in your chest, ready to burst at any moment. This man is impressive. His face gets closer to you, and your heart beats even faster, something that never happened before. 

Taehyung notices that you don’t step back. Well, he doesn’t want to as well. You both glance at each other. For the first time ever, he feels his heart beating fast. No other girl, or anyone else, has ever made him feel that way. He notices how pretty you are. Well, from the first second, he laid eyes on you, he found you very beautiful. But now that you’re closer, he gets to see closely your beauty. You’re also very charismatic, you draw him in a way he can’t explain. Without realizing it, he’s attracted to you. You catch all of his attention when he’s near you. 

When he found your pen at the store, he could have left it there. But that was the perfect excuse to get to see you and talk to you. He can’t resist the urge of being around you. If he sees you, he only wants to get closer. Like right now. He could be talking to you without being this close, but he needs it. 

He takes in your sweet scent, you smell so good. 

Both of you are glancing deeply into each other. There is definitely something going on but you won’t admit it. 

After what felt like an eternity, he pulls himself together before getting closer to your ear. 

“What did you say?” he murmurs with a deep voice, causing shivers down your spine. 

“Do you want me to spell it out for you?” you dare to say. “F-U-C-K,” before you can even finish, he cuts you off. 

“Don’t you ever say that again,” he whispers. “Especially if you’re in the wrong.” 

“You’re threatening me?” your question almost sounds like an affirmation. 

“I’m just warning you, miss dramatic,” he says. 

Taehyung strongly stinks of alcohol but there’s also a bit of his cologne emanating from him. You don’t even doubt that he has a hangover and is most probably still drunk. 

“Oh,” you first say. “You think I’m afraid of you, asshole?” you then say. 

He’s caught off guard, causing him to take a step back to look at you. Usually, people get scared and leave him alone. Honestly, you’re kind of the surprising type. Now you’re the one getting closer to his ear before starting to whisper.  

“You should be the one being careful,” you murmur. 

The way you pronounced every word made him shiver. Fuck, he hates the effect you have on him. It’s been only a couple of days but you’ve been resisting him in every possible way. This almost feels like a challenge to him to make you fall onto your knees. 

“Or what?” he asks. 

“Well, you’ll have to discover,” you answer. 

Taehyung feels your breath crashing against his ear, and visible goosebumps appear on his body. You don’t notice as you’re concentrating on provoking him. As you take a step back, you’re startled by his burning eyes on you. To say that he’s devouring you is literally an understatement. Never before has a man looked at you that way. Thousands of butterflies are freed inside your belly. 

You don’t even know how to look at him or if you’re even looking at him the same way. The only thing you are sure of is that your cheeks are fully red. Even if this man impossibly angers you, he also manages to destabilize you. It’s so contradictory. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the feeling of his burning eyes on you. It makes you feel desired. Desired by Kim Taehyung. 

“I need to order my coffee again,” you say as you put a clear distance between you. 

Taehyung simply nods and a few minutes later his order is ready. For a brief moment, his eyes discreetly glance at you while he grabs his order. There’s something so mesmerizing about you, and damn, he really wants to discover what you’ll do to him if he pushes you again over the hedge. 

While you’re sitting on the bus, you’re completely lost in your thoughts. You’re thinking about what happened with Taehyung minutes ago. Things with him are evolving intriguingly. You’re both always colliding with each other. It’s not smooth at all. But that man is so fucking annoying! How can even people like him at all? 

The music is blasting in your ears through your headphones. Sabrina Carpenter is singing “Feather” for your biggest pleasure. It’s one of your favorite songs at the moment. Surprisingly, it’s one of the songs that has been reminding you that you were too good for your ex. Definitely, you’re better off without him. However, you try not to think too much about him because he devastatingly broke your heart. 

Kai, your ex, is the kind of guy that easily becomes friends with everybody. He’s super chill and super nice. You two instantly hit it off, you directly felt love but it took you some time to actually fall in love with him. Being loved and loving him felt so good. You both imagined what your future life together could look like. You were convinced that he was the one. But you were wrong. He never was the one. 

At a party, he kissed a girl. It wasn’t just a random girl, it was a girl he had a crush on a couple of years ago. It devastated you, especially since you were going through a tough time health-wise. You were also working too hard to get accepted at this prestigious university. It was just the last straw. However, since you were convinced he was your forever person, you forgave him. You thought that it was just a mere kiss, and he also did everything to make you forgive him. 

The reconciliation didn’t last long because you were such a mess. Everything was just too much and you couldn’t handle anything anymore. So you put an end to your relationship. You were devastated, to say the least. You thought that he was going to make his way back to you but he kind of didn’t. You had some conversations but they all ended up in sex. It was nice but nothing was being solved. However, he was doing that to keep you wrapped around his fingers. From there, everything became a mess. 

Kai hid from you that he was seeing that girl so he could have you. He was flirtatious with you, and you were having a lot of casual sex. You believed things were going to be solved and that you were getting back together. Today, as you look backward, you realize that it was merely a physical attraction. Nothing more. You never got back together because you ignored that he was actually with the other girl. 

It shocked you once you found out. Kai talked so badly of cheaters and he was there doing the exact same thing. What you didn’t forgive him is the fact that you were the other girl. He was cheating on his girlfriend with you while you weren’t aware of the situation. It broke you beyond comprehension. 

Kai is still with his girlfriend, it’s already been more than a year. You don’t know if she ever found out that he cheated on her. Probably not. You don’t think she’d stay with a cheater but you don’t know her so you don’t know how she’d handle it. Maybe she forgave him. You don’t know. The only thing you’re sure of is that sometimes he comes back. Thank god, Nari is part of your life and forbids you to interact at all with him. 

You rest your head against the window. Recently, you surprised yourself by wanting to find a new boyfriend. For the past year, you decided to focus on your health and your studies. Having a partner would only distract you from your goals. However, today, everything seems to be on track so you don’t have any reasons to hold back. But it isn’t that easy. You’re not the type to easily make friends, but you aren’t desperate so you don’t really care right now. It’s sometimes a bit hard to be wanting someone around you and you don’t have anyone. 

You leave the bus when it halts at your stop. The massive building housing the hospital stands in front of you. Recently, you’ve been coming quite often for blood tests, doctor appointments, and hospital stays. Some nurses already recognize you. This has been your reality for a year already. Your health has been a big mess even though it’s been the case for almost 10 years. Lately, it simply hasn’t been easy in between seizures caused by your epilepsy and the hormonal dysfunction coming from Hashimoto’s disease. 

Hashimoto’s disease is an autoimmune disease in which your thyroid doesn’t work properly. It doesn’t produce enough thyroid hormones. On top of that, your immune system attacks your thyroid. There is of course a treatment helping your thyroid to work properly. So, in summary, the treatment has to always be working otherwise everything gets out of control. 

Growing up with all that wasn’t simple, especially since you have never accepted being epileptic. Most of the time, it makes you feel like a failure so you don’t mention it to people unless it’s necessary. You don’t want anyone to look at you or treat you differently. You want to be seen as a normal person. But you’re not a normal person, and that’s what is complicated to accept. 

So you work a lot, sometimes way too much. You wonder if it’s not due to the fact that you’re a people-pleaser. But in general, you just work too much to compensate for your differences. Those health issues have a lot of impact, especially on your memory. For example, it’s hard for you to remember conversations. Most of the time, people have to repeat several times the same thing for you to remember it. 

At the hospital entrance, you notice Yseult, Taehyung’s sister. She’s coming out of the car to enter the building. You discreetly watch her. She looks a lot like her older brother, it’s evident that they are siblings. She also breathes money from afar, she also has that powerful aura. It seems like it’s a family thing. Before entering, she quickly scans her surroundings, almost as if she doesn’t want to be seen. It instantly arouses your curiosity. Why is she acting like that? 

Instantaneously, you grab your phone to text Nari. 

To Nari: Yseult is at the hospital & acting weird 

You wait until Taehyung’s sister enters the building before doing the same. Well, you can’t spy on her because you have an appointment but you’re for sure very very curious. 

From Nari: she’s probably just doing a check-up 

She’s right. It’s nothing, it’s simply your imagination. But it still leaves you wondering why she was acting like that. 

Later that night, while falling asleep, you see again Taehyung so close to your face. However, you chase away those thoughts because that man has been annoying you more than anything else.

[nohaijiachi]

Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside

Before we get into the subject matter of the title let me preface a couple of things:

1- All that will follow is, big surprise, my opinion and my interpretation of this character. Do I think I am The One And Only Who Gets The Blorbo Right and that my ideas are 100% the way the author(s) intended to convey the character? No.

More likely than not the way I see Aziraphale could be intensely different from the way Authorman sees him, or Actorman sees him, and I don't think that my interpretation is necessarily any more correct than anybody's else.

That said, if I also did not think that I am, in fact, correct on a certain level, I wouldn't have bothered forming such a thought out opinion of Aziraphale in the first place, nor would be sitting here, writing this post that I can already tell is going to be entirely too long and might probably ruffle some feathers.

So I'll be writing the rest of this post with the caveat that I while I do think my interpretation correct, I'm also not trying to change anybody's mind nor to discredit anybody's else interpretation of Aziraphale. We can sit here in the sandpit and hold different opinions and still be able to build sandcastles together, it really isn't that deep at the end of the day; I can assure you, I'm not here to fight nor cause fights with this one.

2- With the above point, comes also the fact that I won't bother continuously saying "In my opinion" for the rest of this post. You already know that. So, if something will come across as a bit caustic, do know that it is very much tongue in cheek and I am poking a bit of fun at general fannish habits that I am also very much quote-unquoute 'guilty' of having partaken into, and will partake into again plenty of times in the future, I'm sure.

So, with that: Here's Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside

A large part of the people comprising this fandom prefers Crowley. There, I said it.

This fandom's preference blatantly skews toward Crowley. Can we admit that openly? Let's admit that openly.

To be clear, this isn't meant to be an accusation or recrimination or any other -ation you can think of, I am merely stating matter-of-factly a phenomena I've observed in the last four years.

It is also not a wrong nor bad thing in any way, shape or form. I adore Crowley myself. I love them both so much it's unreal.

But I started with that because I think it is very much a symptom of the fact that a lot of people don't get Aziraphale.

I remember back with S1 there had been plenty of times when I found myself reading discussions and opinion exchanges about Aziraphale and Crowley, their dynamics, all the things that went unsaid behind the things that were said, and found myself genuinely surprised by seeing how some people interpreted certain moments wildly different from how I personally saw them.

I look back at that and I think "Oh, sweet summer child". Nothing could have prepared me from the onslaught of takes about Aziraphale that make me go "Good lord, what???" in the wake of S2, and the infamous Last Fifteen.

Now because I don't want to be pointing fingers at specific things and risk upsetting somebody more than I already am by being open in admitting that, guys, yes, some of the takes y'all have been sharing make me go "Yikes(tm)", I'll move on the interesting part and what I would actually love to discuss, aka cracking Aziraphale's head open and see what that actual fuck is going on in there.

Another preface: Because this duo is intrinsically linked and woven together it is downright impossible to only focus on Aziraphale without also mentioning Crowley, so... Let me circle back to our fav demon bae for a sec, here.

I think the reason why it seems that a larger part of the fandom favors Crowley is because I feel like Crowley is a much easier character to grasp. He is very open in his thoughts and feelings, at any given moment us, the audience, have a much easier time watching a scene and sort of ruminating in the back of our heads about Crowley's motivations for saying the things he says and doing the things he does.

That isn't to say Crowley is a less complex character than Aziraphale. They are very much equally complex and multifaceted individuals with their strengths and weaknesses, their issues and the way they each cope with them, how differently they approach their existence and so on and so forth.

But whereas Crowley as a character presents itself with a certain dynamism and a far more outward openness about his complexity, Aziraphale does the exact opposite; we can say Aziraphale is downright hermetic about it.

For us, the audience, he presents a challenge that requires a good deal of thought being put into him to see over the facade he presents at a more superficial level; he requires time and effort to fully dismantle him in our minds to try and see what makes him thick (other than his thighs), and thus I think it is entirely natural that more people latch on the far easier to identify-with, and relate-to, Crowley.

And that is the inevitable consequence of everything that makes Aziraphale... Well, Aziraphale.

So, where to start? Let's try and jot down what Aziraphale truly is at his core.

He is a contradiction.

This man-shaped being is a walking contradiction, constantly existing in a state of being coated in three thousand layers of misdirection and obfuscation and double thinking.

Why is that? Well. He's an angel.

Aziraphale loves being an angel. It is a tenet of his entire existence and something he cherishes. He wants, so very much, to be his ideal of what a good angel is: An entity who is kind and loving and understanding and forgiving.

Of course us, the audience, know that is utter bullshit, because we know angels can be individuals just as complex as the humans Aziraphale loves so much, with all their inherent flaws and capability for cruelty. And, on a certain level, Aziraphale knows that too.

So there we have it, one element of contradiction: Aziraphale wants to think that angels are always Good and Righteous and Never Wrong; Aziraphale knows that angels aren't, in fact, always Good and Righteous and, by god, can they make plenty of mistakes, too.

What else? How about Aziraphale sitting there, being in love with a demon, fully knowing that at the end of the day demons really ain't that different from angels, and also desperately hanging onto the concept of Good vs Bad.

And he sits there, existing with these two contrasting idea equally taking space in his mind, neither side ever capable of taking over the other.

What else do we have? Aziraphale loves God and wants so hard to believe in Her love for humanity and Her ineffable plan, and Aziraphale also time and again does things that very blatantly go against Her will, lies to Her face, and Doubts. He Doubts, a lot, and that requires the capital letter because those Doubts are what spur him in going against everything he's ever told to believe in order to do the right thing.

Aziraphale's very existence is a constant push-and-pull of things he wants to believe and things he knows are real; things he's told to do and things he wants to do. That's how we get "My side" and "there's a bit of good in you" and "you are the bad guys".

And nothing he's lived through has managed to break him out of this unhealthy way of existing quite yet; that's why he acts the way we see him act in the Edinburgh flashback in S2, or at the start of S1 when Crowley has to ease Aziraphale into the idea of trying to stop Armageddon with the usual song and dance of "temptation" and "plausible deniability" and "you'd be thwarting me", even though from the start we can tell there's a little part of Aziraphale who is clearly not at ease with the idea of the end of the world, and once he's been given 'permission' by Crowley nudging him, he is all the way in with the whole saving the world business, not take-backsies.

Both the moments I mentioned here are very important for different reasons, but of the two is very much the Edinburgh flashback that gets a lot more flack by the fandom and is blatantly misunderstood, which I think is the inevitable consequence of that minisode immediately following the glorious, beautiful, heartbreaking piece of art that is the "A companion to owls" minisode.

I've seen a lot of people lamenting that Aziraphale acts obnoxiously in the Edinburgh flashback and, yeah. He does. But I feel like the fact that we are seeing this after watching Aziraphale struggle his way through saving Job's children, even being willing to go to Hell for it, is a though act to follow and probably soured Edinburgh-Aziraphale for a lot of people, made them think that the character had regressed instead of progressing.

But, see, the way he acts is wholly congruous with who Aziraphale is and has always been and keeps being up to the very end of S2. Yes, even after what he does for Job's children.

If you get down to it, Aziraphale had been ready to give up and let the children die, in episode 2. For a brief moment, after Crowley told him he 'longed to destroy the blameless children', Aziraphale was walking away, having tried all he thought he could try to do to stop this senseless act. That was until Crowley tested him by making the crows bleat, cuing Aziraphale to the fact that his impression of Crowley wasn't wrong, and the he could count on him to do the right thing.

To be clear, I don't want to undermine Aziraphale's action by only giving the credit to Crowley but... It is, also, only thanks to Crowley cajoling him and giving him the right excuses, that Aziraphale feels safe in doing what he's always wanted to do all along.

He'd wanted to save Job's children, and thought he couldn't until Crowley threw him that hell of a lifesaver. He wanted to save the world and thought he couldn't until Crowley nudged him on the path of plausible deniability.

He wanted to save Elspeth's eternal soul, blinding himself to the hardships she'd have to endure in her not-eternal life, and was smacked right in the face by the reality of human suffering multiple times.

The way Aziraphale acts in that flashback can't be a regression, because there never was a progression in the first place: He'd always walked the line between Heaven's and God's will and his own, personal morality and sense of justice.

By all means, if we look at Uz-Aziraphale and modern-day-Aziraphale at the start of S1, his reticence about the whole saving the world business should, by all means, appear as a regression as well. You mean to tell me that he'd been ready to become a demon for the sake of three mortal children, and then suddenly a handful of thousands years later when faced with the prospect of the whole world going up in flames he'd just be all like "Heaven will triumph over Hell and it will be all rather lovely"? Like, fuck off, Aziraphale, you lying double-thinker, you (/pos)

Aziraphale constantly exist while being at war with himself. Circumstances have allowed him to rebel the will of Heaven and God more or less safely time and again, but he never quite managed to break free entirely. He'd always ended up being reeled back in, being fed the party lines, being made to feel shame for his independent thinking, until it all becomes too much and he is forced to step back from that freedom he'd been inches away from grasping.

Back and forth, back and forth, never stopping.

And all of this, all of what he is, makes it so hard for us, the audience, to truly see him. To truly grasp him. To truly watch any given scene with him and figure out what he might be thinking or feeling.

To understand Aziraphale is to understand what he is not saying when he says something, which is a good deal harder to do than it is to understand and relate to a character like Crowley, who very much revel in saying exactly whatever the heck he thinks whenever he damn well pleases.

All those layers of obfuscation and misdirection and double thinking that Aziraphale coats himself in are as much an armor that makes it harder for the audience to understand him as they are his very own downfall because, good lord, if you exist like that, if you exist forced to keep things hidden from yourself, well... It's inevitable that at some point you are going to stumble into pitfalls of your own making.

And I love him for it.

So, there? I hope I managed to explain something with this post, and that it wasn't just the rambling of someone who spends way too much time thinking about her blorbos. To be clear, I don't think people who haven't spent as much time as me trying to dissect and better understand Aziraphale's character are like, dumber than me or anything. It's just that this pair of angelic-demonic blorbos take too much real estate in my mind, lol.

Feel free to let me know your opinion and if you think I am wildly off mark and my Take Is Bad. I might answer, I might not, it all depends on time and my mood ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

[threewaysdivided]

New Desktop Dash, No Bueno

Okay so, new dash layout on desktop.

As seems to be a common reaction: not a fan.

Let's talk about some of the issues:

1. Really visually cluttered

The new sidebar crowds out the dashboard content and the bright blue popup notifications (now at the side AND top) and create-post bar pull your eyes in different directions. There is no space for the eye to rest on anymore - it's all noise. The end result is that everything flattens - there's no focal point anymore.

It's also pretty overwhelming - even for someone like me - so I can't imagine it would be very user-friendly to someone who was photosensitive or struggled with visual overload (especially when paired with the high-contrast 'true blue' default site palette and animated icons for the changes-on-tumblr/staff-picks/trending buttons).

2. The activity pop-up now covers dashboard content

This is really bad from a usability standpoint. In the old layout the activity pop-up used to drop down over the recommended blogs sidebar. Now it actively gets in the way of looking at core content. The dash is why we are here, burying it like this is baffling.

The search bar now drops down over the recommended blogs banner instead, but where the old design had non-critical space on each side of the dashboard to visually allow both features to pop in, this new layout is way worse for efficiency. And for what? Having a rarely-used former drop-down menu now permanently active? The old banner with quick-links for the key use-features (notes, messages, askbox) made much more design sense.

It also means that the activity pop-up gets now completely covered by the blog pop-up that opens when you click the notification, so double demerit there. 0/10.

3. It's harder to navigate to the activity page, and the new page-stretch means you can't see new notes without scrolling down

That first bit is kind of a nitpick but cramming the 'See everything' link down at the bottom of a browser window isn't a great navigation choice. (Again, the visual signifiers and eye-direction in this new design are incredibly poor.)

That the main activity page now requires you to scroll to even see the top note due to the new display ratio is really egregious. It makes another key site feature just slightly less convenient and accessible in a very irritating way. Bad choice.

4. The new ratio pushes the Radar and Main Sponsored slot completely off-screen

This one is directed the tumblr staff: that's also a bad choice, guys. That's your main ad-slot for people loading into Tumblr so hiding it is going to hurt both your ad-impressions and your ability to promote the ad-free option. The new layout ratio also means that the in-dash ads are going to be a lot more invasively screen-filling - and let's be real most users will either add-block or leave before purchasing ad-free. I have no idea what the new layout is trying to achieve but if ad optimisation is the goal then this ain't it, chief.

To be honest I cannot comprehend the rationale for this change. I guess it's visually a bit more like Twitter... but that site is currently being demolished from the inside by poor management decisions so maybe it's not the best aesthetic to be aping.

Well then, what do?

Okay so, new dash bad. And so, in true Tumblr spirit: we complain. However, to get results we must deploy the art of kvetching productively.

If you want the old dash back (or at least, a better new-dash design that corrects some of these big weaknesses) what you should do is head over to https://www.tumblr.com/support and lodge a feedback ticket pointing out the problems. The more users who do that, the more likely you are to see an effective response.

Remember, tagging @staff and @support in posts won't fix this. There's no guarantee they'll see it among the notes barrage.

Also: please don't be rude or abusive when you lodge tickets. Whoever is manning those blogs and inboxes probably isn't the person who forced through this change. Save an intern, be polite.

Go forth in disgruntlement to keep this hellhole a hellhome.

[lovemomhatepolice]

wanna go on a little trip? - 1k celebration!

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

hi babes!!

IT HAPPENED!!! (correction - happening right now as I type this) we just reached the first thousand of you here! i am terribly, terribly grateful for you guys being here and supporting me in what i am doing, really. it means a lot to me.

and so I thought and thought, how can I repay you (and also encourage new people) for your wonderful support - and I've come to the point where I'm going to take you on a little trip :)

from 17.11.2024 to 23.11.2024 you have time to get youself for our trip. after that time we are on our way and do not collect latecomers!

well, what will you need for this adventure?

wine drunk (send a 🍷 for a nswf request) — well, someone seems to have had too much to drink at the club on our trip. oh, and who's making out in the corner? where are you guys going? — if you don't have an idea, choose something from these wonderful prompts (smutty one-liners, subtle smut, smut prompt list, first time. smut sentence, smut, “I wanna try it, bite it, lick it, spit it, pull it to the side and get all up in it”) authors: @creativepromptsforwriting, @nightprompts,

our dj (send a 💿 for a music request) — where is the dj? here you are, great! we have been waiting for you. turn on the music and it will be better right away — quick explanation: you write me the song you want and the character, EVENTUALLY the bigger details, and I write the story

oh no, we have problems (send a 🚔 for an angst) — what's that lights behind us? sh*t! i think we're in trouble. it's my fault?! no way, it's probably you who did something! — if you don't have an idea, choose something from these wonderful prompts (angry confessions, post argument, i can't stop loving you, situationship, too good for me, please don't leave me) authors: @dumplingsjinson, @me-writes-prompts,

10 UV (send a 🏝️ for a fluff) — it's so warm under that palm tree! I'm sweating all over, but the fact that I'm here with you makes my heart warm the most — if you don't have an idea, choose something from these wonderful prompts (acts of love, subtly physical affection, shy affection, established relationship, i care about you, falling in love, i think im in love with you, navigating through new relationship, no sexual intimacy) authors: @bonbonbee, @ricesinspo, @dumplingsjinson, @distort-t, @euthymiaaa, @me-writes-prompts)

and now the most important! who are we taking with us? all formula 1 drivers (and some exceptions like Arthur Leclerc), Pogues and Kooks, Avengers, footballers and wizards from Hogwarts

so once again - have fun! thank you lovely and let's fly for another thousand, eh?

your forever loving, fausti

PS. NO LIMITS, YOU CAN ORDER AS MUCH AS YOU WANT! and so can you reblog it to encourage fun :)

all stories will be tagged #tripwithfausti

[redxx95]

Exploring Kurosawa's internalized homophobia and compulsive heteronormativity

oh yea baby we bustin out the Big Words for this one 😎

This was supposed to be posted at the end of pride month but Life happened and it got delayed a lot 😩 So yea happy pride month (and happy birthday Kurosawa I guess 😂)

(btw I think I've never mentioned this on any of my other posts but english is not my first language, so if anything I write ever sounds awkward, that's probably why 😅) (also I had to merge a bunch of images to get around the image limit, this post is really long, the word count is at 1930 words 💀)

Hope you guys enjoy the read! 💞

Spoilers for anything up to vol 11

Let me start this by saying that there's no actual textual evidence of Kurosawa being gay (rather than bi/pan), so this interpretation is definitely veering towards headcanon territory. I'm also not trying to establish this as the only Correct opinion and anyone is of course allowed to have their own sexuality headcanons, this is very healthy and valid 👍

Kurosawa's internalized homophobia

The first scene I want to put under a magnifying glass is this one.

Let's examine what's going on here: Kurosawa has just tried to kiss Adachi, whose hesitation he perceived as disgust. Then he pretends it was disgusting for him too, because he thinks that is the average reaction anyone would have, extending this to Adachi as well. The way he says "who'd be into that?" is already lowkey homophobic, but the japanese line makes it even more evident: "普通嫌だよな" (= "Normally, you'd dislike that right?"). Keyword here being "普通" = "normal, ordinary", implying that anyone who would like that is abnormal. So what does that say about him then, who was so happy to get the chance to kiss another man? This is pretty much textbook internalized homophobia, where he has accepted what he perceives to be the general opinion on gay people and has made those values his own, hating himself for it (albeit only briefly here), which is why he internally apologizes to Adachi.

This is not the only instance of him feeling like that, although this next part is slightly more speculative than the more obvious example above.

So we all know that Kurosawa is a jealous, jealous man. It's one of his defining character traits and it's often the source of conflict and comedy alike. But he does not express his jealousy equally across genders. With men he has this strong rivalry where he needs to prove himself better and more worthy of Adachi's attention.

But with women he has a different approach: gently coaxing them away from him, lest they realize what a catch Adachi really is.

So, why this difference? The answer I have is that he doesn't actually believe he can compete with a woman. If Adachi wants to be close with a man, Kurosawa thinks it might as well be him, he's the best option after all. But if Adachi wants a woman, he cannot offer anything and is therefore the inferior option. He believes this even after he found out Adachi's not completely repulsed at the idea of being with a man. Even if Adachi's okay with men, he'll always prefer a woman.

And whenever he imagines anyone else with Adachi, it's always a woman, specifically Fujisaki, which he believes is "his type".

And he at least thinks he's very far away from that ideal. (He's not but that's a topic for a different essay.) If anyone's wondering why he even bothers at all then if he's so sure that a woman will out-compete him, I think the lyrics from the anime opening actually put it best, specifically the last verse:

I have these impatient feelings I doubt this love will come to fruition But still I can't give up this happiness There's a feeling here I can't resist A love like a castle in the sky

So basically, his plan is that he might as well ride the high of his first ever crush as far as it will go, intercepting where he can to prolong it just that little bit further, until it all inevitably comes to an end. (a castle in the sky = an unreachable dream) This plan kind of fluctuates throughout volumes 1-3 as Adachi gives him a bunch of mixed signals, but it holds true most of the time.

Adachi's side

Now I'd like to highlight the way Adachi actually thinks about their relationship, because it serves as a great contrast to Kurosawa's assumptions about him.

Throughout the first three volumes we see him grapple with his newfound feelings for Kurosawa, but he (almost) never puts his gender at the forefront of his musings. The manga makes it very clear that it's his lack of romantic experience and low self esteem that make it hard for him to accept Kurosawa's affections, and not the fact that he's a man.

This second page here being his own little gay awakening, where he realizes that he is not, in fact, disgusted by intimacy with a man.

It's also worth mentioning that when he later introduces Kurosawa to his parents (ch 41), they are immediately welcoming of him, suggesting he grew up in a very tolerant environment.

And it's not like he's completely unaware of heteronormativity/homophobia either, especially after he does his research in vol 8, but he is slightly more defiant in responding to it.

(I love how he just buys that bag he probably doesn't need that's supposed to come with all the wedding magazines, just as this very tiny act of rebellion.)

So now that we can see how different Kurosawa's thought patterns are compared to Adachi's, the next question we should ask ourselves is: Why is he like that?

Heteronormativity in Kurosawa's life

(yes we're finally getting to the comphet part of the essay 😂)

First let's look at the environment he grew up in. There are not many scenes with his family, but from those that we do have, we can at least make some assumptions about how he must've been raised.

His mother is clearly the authority figure in his life, judging by how she's described as "strong" and how terrified he is at her merely setting down a teacup (while Adachi has a more mild reaction). Her reaction to the news of them dating and Kurosawa expecting his parents to go as far as disowning him for it would suggest that she might just be generally homophobic.

But when they actually go meet her we see this slightly more nuanced perspective.

She's not entirely against it, but she does believe they are making a mistake by choosing to be together, hence why she thinks they might "regret it". There's many hardships that gay couples in Japan face, some of which we even see discussed in the manga, so it's not hard to see why she would be concerned for her son. The way she talks about Kurosawa never causing any problems, but "changing" ever since he fell for Adachi further supports that conformity is what she believes will ultimately lead to a successful, happy life. And that's also why she accepts Adachi later, when he's made it abundantly clear in his speech that they are happier in this non-conforming relationship than they were without it.

To contrast, her other child Mari is shown to have a very progressive stance (see: her pep talk in ch 47) and it would not surprise me if that is the reason she's rarely in japan and is never seen together with her family, save for the one time they're all at the wedding. She might find the conforming environment too restrictive and preferring to keep her distance. (shoutout to naina for this bit 🙏)

So that's Kurosawa's family situation. Now let's check how his social circle holds up.

From what we see of his friends, they never even seem to consider him possibly being with a man.

And his work environment seems rather toxic to say the least.

It clearly dictates traditional gender roles as the ideal. Nobody except Fujisaki even clocks any of Kurosawa's advances on Adachi as romantic in nature, even though he seems to be quite obvious about it (see: ch 34.5). And it's not like dating in general is discouraged at Toyokawa either, as we can see from all the women constantly vying for Kurosawa's attention.

From all this we can conclude that Kurosawa's upbringing and social/work environment is painfully heteronormative and until he falls for Adachi it seems he never questioned the status quo either.

The famous onsen scene, while funny, also reveals the sad truth that Kurosawa, in his 30 years of life, probably never even had the chance to explore his sexual orientation, rather focusing on being "perfect" in his straight relationships.

Speaking of those relationships...

He apparently had a bunch of girlfriends, who all seem to have dumped him pretty early on. His mother's surprise at him expressing a willingness to commit also makes me think he's never brought anyone home either. He also only seems to have a surface level understanding of what a proper relationship is supposed to entail, if his idea of an ideal date is just "what the average person" thinks is romantic. So why were all of his relationships so short-lived? Before I answer that...

Intermission: Kurosawa's smiles

It has come to my attention that this is not common knowledge, so let me explain: There's a way to tell apart Kurosawa's fake smiles from his real ones, without any context clues, just purely visually.

Real smiles: (ch 23, 24, 37)

Fake smiles: (ch 5, 13, 32)

The difference being very simple: Blush = real, no blush = fake 👍 And before anyone mentions it: No he doesn't just blush when he's around Adachi, that last fake smile is actually directed at him. (ch 32)

Edit from the future: This holds true like 90% of the time, but as Toyota's art style becomes more detailed, this doesn't apply as much in the newer volumes. I think there's also new details added that I haven't quite figured out yet so take this bit with a grain of salt. (The images below are still from her early art style though.)

So now that we have this additional knowledge, let's take a look at every instance Kurosawa is paired with a woman.

He's smiling in all of these. Not a single one has a real smile in it though.

I think he's never actually had his heart in any of his relationships, and the girls probably noticed it and that's why they dumped him.

And, of course, the first time he actually falls in love...

... just so happens to be with a man.

Even his friends comment on this, who have known him since high school.

It's almost funny how perfectly this aligns with real life gay people. Having numerous, short-lived relationships with people of the "wrong" gender is one of the more common traits of compulsive heteronormativity. (source: me oof) (but also shoutout to the "Am I a lesbian?" masterdoc, google it if you don't know, it's truly eye-opening)

After dating Adachi

So we have already established that he's far happier when he does finally get to date Adachi, but do any of his other thought patterns change?

Honestly it seems like he throws every single reservation about being seen as gay out the window.

He starts bragging like crazy about his new relationship to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen, he has no qualms about PDA, he marks Adachi up and down so everyone knows he's taken and the only thing stopping him from proclaiming his love for Adachi to the whole world is the still very much existing societal homophobia. But he is a lot more easy-going about it now than he ever was before.

And I think the best way to describe this mental shift is, hear me out, the date song from volume 4...

... specifically the last 2 verses as a whole, and this section in particular:

"I won't let anyone divide our fraction! You couldn't pry this thrill from my hands when they're cold and dead!"

Horrible lyrics aside, this perfectly encapsulates how Kurosawa simply couldn't care less anymore now that he finally has what he's wanted for more than a year, maybe even his whole life. All the societal pressure pales in comparison to the sheer euphoria he feels at finally having someone that he loves and who loves him back just as strongly, feeling cared for and seen like no one else ever did.

And, you know, just happens to be a man. 🏳️‍🌈