#i had mental notes on this so long ago but i forgot them

[punnymess]

Rudy Gillespie is soooo Reigan Arataka coded.

[glitteredrry]

maneater

summary: Harry feels inspired by the woman who is holding his heart in her hands. Harry’s true feelings come out during a recording session, and his heart is on the line.

warning: angst & fluff

wc: 2.4k

I haven’t written in so long, and I was feeling inspired. Please let me know how you like it. I own no rights to this song (just in case lol). I hope you enjoy!!

Harry looked at his Rolex for the fifth time in an hour. He checked the time, awaiting the arrival of his…well, he was not sure what to call her. His girl? Well, no, that’s not the correct title. His lover? That’s not even close to what he was to her. Harry didn’t know the correct title to give her, but he did know that she wasn’t his, yet he was all hers. Luna Gray was her name, it was her stage name. Her birthname was for him only; regardless, her name was on the tip of everyone’s tongue.

Harry and Luna were signed to Columbia Records, and both were some of the biggest stars in the world. Harry met Luna when she signed to the label in 1981, and the first time they met, Harry was electrified to his core. All she had to do was look at him, and Harry mentally fell to his knees.  To Harry, she was perfection; the only problem was that he wasn’t the only person who thought this. Let’s just say that Luna was loved by many, and for Harry, it started out not being a problem but slowly developed into one a year later. Luna would explain to all the men she got involved with that she is not someone who could be tied down. She had one goal, which was to be a star. No one or nothing could get in the way of that dream. Harry understood this the first time they slept together, yet as their sexual relationship began to grow, it was somewhat difficult for Harry to hear about the endless men she was caught up with. 

Harry could admit he fell in love with her, yet Luna had no idea about Harry’s feelings towards her. Luna continued with her life as normal, while Harry continued to suffer in silence. He knew how Luna was and that her motto was to cut off men once they fell in love. She told the world she enjoyed her life as a single lady in Hollywood. So, as Harry spent the time drowning in his feelings, he caught inspiration to write a song when a picture in the tabloids was released of her with a star athlete. He couldn’t control his jealousy, which was feasting inside him. He was angry, saddened, and felt like an idiot for being in love with someone who told him she wasn’t going to be tied down. Harry continued to pour his emotions on paper, letting go of everything he felt. What he forgot about, though, is that Luna was coming to listen in on his studio session, and this was the only song he was going to record today. This is Luna and Harry’s thing. They were both artists, so it wasn’t out of the norm for them to listen in on their studio sessions and provide notes. 

Harry genuinely didn’t want to record this infront of her, but he couldn’t waste paid studio time either. Instead of consistently checking the time, he decided to leave the studio for a smoke break. With each inhale, he felt the stress leave his body until he watched her sleek red Mercedes Convertible pull into the parking lot. Her curly hair was all over the place as she pulled in; her eyes were on Harry’s immediately as she parked. She stepped out of the car with a smile, hoping Harry would forgive her for running a little late. Harry watched as the Los Angeles sunset dipping below the valley illuminated her skin. Harry kept his eyes on her, continuing to smoke and soak in the sound of her heels hitting the pavement. She looked beautiful as she approached Harry; without a word, she grabbed the cigarette from his hands, taking a hit of it.

“You mad at me?” Luna said, exhaling the smoke as it brushed across Harry’s face. 

He shook his head ‘no’ because he truly wasn’t mad. Even if he were, she would never know it. “You were supposed to be here an hour ago.” He said, eying her up and down. Lust and anxiety coursing through his veins.

“I got caught up in something. Forgive me, sweetheart,” she said with puppy eyes. Her eyes still held this twinkle in them as if she was playing a game with him.

“Something or someone,” Harry said, letting the jealousy slip. He hated when his mouth would speak before his brain could. Luna smiled at his words, throwing the finished cigarette on the ground and crushing it under her heel.

“Are you sure you want to know?” she smirked, moving past him to enter the studio. Harry felt a slight pang in his chest as he followed her inside. As Luna entered, she sat on the couch and said hello to the sound engineer. Harry nervously picked up the paper and headed to the booth. Just before he got in, Luna called out to him.

“I’m excited to hear the song, Harry.” Her eyes were glowing, and Harry could tell that she was being genuine. Harry and Luna shared a deep connection when it came to music. They both had the utmost respect for each other as artists. Harry smiled at her, briefly looking at her before entering the booth. Harry put on his headphones and signaled that he was ready. Once the beat of the song kicked in, Harry watched as Luna bobbed her head to the music and waited for Harry to start singing. Harry felt his throat swell up in trepidation. Instead of focusing on Luna, he closes his eyes and sings from his heart. 

Oh-oh, here she comes

Watch out, boy, she'll chew you up

Oh-oh, here she comes

She's a man-eater

Harry finally opened his eyes when he got to the middle of the song. He looked through the glass as he watched Luna on the couch with an unreadable expression. Her legs were crossed as he watched her hanging leg bounce. As the song faded out, they kept eye contact with each other. The song engineer cleared Harry to remove his headphones, and He watched as Luna stood on her feet, waiting for him to come out. Harry apprehensively stepped out of the booth, feeling the immediate tension filling the room. Harry could see her facial expression had morphed into clear anger, so he decided to have the room for himself for a while. When they were both alone, Harry chose to speak up. 

“How did you like the song,”

“How did I like it?” She asked, irritation coursing through her body. “Let me think of how I feel,” she laughed mockingly. 

“Listen, I know how it sounds, but hear what I have to say first.”

“Why should I listen to you right now? You brought me here to shame me. All because your feelings are a little hurt, suddenly I should come with a warning label. Well, newsflash, Harry, I told you everything upfront from the beginning.” 

“I know that, but trust me when I say none of what you said matters now. Not when I feel like this, not when you know I feel like this about you.”

“Don’t do that. You’ve never told me anything, Harry you-”

“Cut the shit, just because I haven’t verbally mentioned it, I know you know. You know it in the way I kiss you, in the way I touch you, and when I make love to you. That’s on me that I never said anything, and I hate that it had to come out in this way, but don’t act oblivious. I never told you because I know you’ll run away like you have with others.”

“Then why are you telling me now?”

“Because if that’s the risk I must take, then so be it. I can’t live with this inside me anymore. If you decide to run off, that’s on you. Yes, I will admit my feelings were upset seeing you with someone else. I wrote a song about it. That’s what I do. When I can’t speak my feelings, I sing them. This is the only song I was going to record today. I promise it wasn’t to hurt you in any way.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t hurt getting called a maneater.” She rolled her eyes and folded her arms around each other as she turned her back to Harry.

Harry watched her and decided to step closer to her, “I apologize if I hurt you; that’s never what I want. You have to believe me on that. I’m saying it now: I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours,” Harry pleaded with her. Luna soaked in his words, hearing the sincerity in his voice. She couldn’t face him. Yes, Luna believed him and knew that Harry wasn’t lying at all when he said she secretly knew. She did. She enjoyed feeling like Harry would always be there. It was this feeling of security she didn’t have with any of the other men she would casually date. This sense of security was something that she was scared to have pulled away. She didn’t want to commit out of fear of relationships, yet she knew she didn’t want Harry to be gone forever. Even though she knew Harry loved her, she thought she had a longer time to decide whether to commit. It felt like she was now faced with an ultimatum. Instead of answering him, she deflected. “Harry, you’ve seen girls to-.” She was once again cut off with Harry’s words.

“No, don’t do that. You know, every single girl is PR. I stopped doing that altogether once I felt more serious about you. Don’t divert this back to me. Do you want me at all? Or is this where this ends.” Harry said with a deep breath, finally asking the question. He would be lying if he didn’t feel like 100 pounds were sitting on his heart, waiting to be lifted off. All it would take for this anxiety to lift is her uttering the word, ‘Yes, Harry, I want you.’ Yet, what he heard come out of her mouth next left him shocked where he stood. Luna turned to face him with a stone-cold expression, “I can’t do this, Harry.” Luna walked past him to exit the studio, brushing his shoulder as she passed. As her hand touched the cold door handle to leave, Harry muttered what he thought would be his last word to her. 

“This is what you do, Luna. You run away, and I don’t know why I thought it would be any different for me.” Harry said, feeling himself getting more emotional that he wanted to be infront of her. Without another word, Luna slammed the door behind her.

As she walked down the long hallway, her heart and mind raced. ‘What did I do?’ She thought to herself. She knows she has a connection with Harry. Without a doubt, she knows that. Yet, she was still scared to commit. Past relationships had driven her to live this bachelorette lifestyle. Luna stopped in her tracks, leaning against a wall. “Fuck,” she muttered to herself. Luna had a real decision to make right now. She could either run off to her car and avoid Harry forever. Or go back into that studio to be with the only man who has ever treated her right. Luna finally knew she could listen to her heart, saying just to trust. She had spent years listening to her brain and severed many lovers because of her mind. Her heart was saying to her don’t let this one go, Luna turned on her heels and headed back in the same direction she left. Harry was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, soaking in everything that had just happened. He heard the door open and, without looking, thought it was the sound engineer returning.

“Hey man, I need a few more minutes.”

“I love you, Harry Styles. I’m sorry it took this long for me to admit it.” Harry’s head shot up in shock, looking at the door. He watched Luna close the door behind her as he rose.

“Say it again,” he said breathlessly as she approached him. As she reached him, her hands went on opposite sides of his face, and she looked him in the eyes. 

“I love you, and I want you. I want this. There are no promises for how fast we will go, though. I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time.”

“I don’t care if we take one inch a day. That’s all I needed you to say.” Harry towered over her, pressing his lips on her. Luna leaned in the kiss, soaking up all of Harry’s love. Her heart felt something it hadn't in a while, true peace. It felt as if all the walls she had spent so hard creating came crumbling down all at once. Harry picked her up, sitting on the couch with her in his arms. Harry deepened the kiss, tangling his hands in her hair. Luna relaxed in his lap as her body felt like it was on fire. Harry broke the kiss as they both panted against each other's lips. Both of their mouths curved up into a smile.

“Sloane, I love you. I think I always have. It’s impossible not to be. I promise I want this.” Luna’s cheeks beamed at her real name slipping from his lips. She couldn’t begin to explain this feeling in her body. 

“I’m excited about this, Harry. And you’re doing a real civil duty keeping me from eating more men.” She said, teasing him about the song.

“Baby, If the song upset you, I’ll scrap it.” Her index finger lightly brushed over his lips to shush him. 

“To say it upset me is an understatement. I would be a complete fool if I watched you let go of that song. It’s a great song and can be our little secret that it’s about me.”

“Deal, baby.” Harry smiled at her, happy that she was okay with him putting the song out.

“Now you have to make it up to me, though,” she said seductively. That’s all it took for Harry to feel that similar yearning. 

“I’m going to spend all night making it up to you, I promise.” Luna kissed Harry again, and she let Harry express his love for her. Both of them decided to use the studio for the night so that Harry’s promise could be kept. Luna and Harry couldn’t be more in love than they already felt. It made the wait that Harry had to endure all worth it. 

[cloversnstrawberries]

oc intro post ! ! older brother!platonic yandere!80s slasher

masterlist | requests open !

warnings; yandere behavior, possessiveness, overprotective behavior, mentions of murder, violence, serial killings, and past bullying of reader; manipulation, kidnapping, imprisonment, delusions (zachary thinks he's just protecting you), mental instability, and there might be more i forgot :(( if so, please let me know if i should add!!

additional notes; i'm very tired right now, but i just had to get this out of my system,,, here is the next runner up from the poll, Zachary!! i don't know what else to say. uh. go subscribe to dead meat !!! also i hope u enjoy :)

! ! introduction blurb & moodboard below the cut ! !

Sometime around the mid-1980s, in a small town right dab smack in the middle of the American Midwest; resided you and your family, consisting of you, your mom, your dad, your family dog--

And your older brother, Zachary. By all accounts, he was the quintessential all-american teen. It was almost like he was ripping right from the sitcoms and various movies and TV that followed high schoolers.

...Except for one teensy little detail, that if discovered, would shatter his entire persona. All he was would be brought into question-- for good reason, he supposes, but that doesn't make it any less annoying to think about the possibility of his secret being outed.

That being the fact he was the Fools Killer-- I mean, no one would suspect Zachary! You'd have to be crazy to accuse him of being the maniac going around in a jesters costume, killing people with no obvious rhyme or reason.

You'd be right, but you'd still be crazy. Zachary wouldn't do something like that! He was a kind, caring, and popular guy. He was the kind that'd help you pick up books after spilling them in the hallway, or pay for his friends if they couldn't afford food at the moment.

He was your brother, and he was a great one at that. The part where he (noticeably) differed from the depictions of his kind of small-town golden boy, was that he wasn't cruel to you at all.

If anything, he was so nice to you that people questioned it. How could siblings be so close? Sure, you fought-- just like everyone else did. Fought over stupid stuff, like your brother pouring himself a 1/2 gram more of soda than he poured you, or for a spot on the couch;

Normal stuff. But other than that, you didn't really butt heads. No mocking, no mean-spirited teasing, or purposeful humiliation.

He was, however, very protective of you. At first it was manageable, when you were younger-- still was, to an extent. It all hit a head about a year ago, when he yelled at you for not telling him you were getting picked on. That he would've dealt with it, before you got the big blackeye you'd come home with.

That was the one and only time he ever yelled at you.

The boy who gave you that black eye disappeared shortly after-- and is commonly thought of as the first victim of the Fools Killer. You don't make the connection, even as more and more people disappear around you; people who dared to slight you,

Who dared to slight Zachary's precious little sibling.

He thought of it as... pest control, really. These people weren't going to go anywhere in life anyways, with how they treated you.

Really, you were the most precious thing on Earth to Zachary-- he refused to believe that it wasn't simply fact. It slipped his mind that everyone else was so stupid, unable to see how brightly you shined.

he was just protecting you, is all-- and it relieved his stress as well. He felt bad for snapping on you, he really does; but it'd been so cathartic to deal with the little shit himself,

It's for your own good, that he's secretly become Fools Killer. He's just protecting you-- both from others, and from him ever yelling at you again. You didn't deserve it.

It's for your own good that he keeps you in the dark as long as possible-- but when, eventually, his clever little sibling figures out Zachary's little 'hobby', or walks in at a less-than-ideal time;

Well, it's hardly his fault if he has to take you somewhere else, so he can take care of you. You don't need anyone else. He's always been here for you-- more than your parents, in his mind.

besides, he's a pretty damn good actor. He was practically born ready to play the part of a grieving brother, doing all he can to try and find his missing little sibling; afraid that they too had ended up as a victim of the recent killings.

Knowing damn well where you were, kept safe and sound in a little shed/hangout you two's dad had built Zachary when he was younger, as a place to escape from it all.

It was surprisingly easy to make into a living space for you-- and even easier to lock it down, lock you down, and make sure you can't leave.

it's all for your own good, after all! He knows the phrase usually goes mother knows best... but he's sure whoever invented the saying wouldn't be too mad if he altered it to fit his purposes, right?

[jedisupernova]

reuniting with seong gihun

notes minors dni contains fem aged up reader (same age is gihun), always written with plus size reader in mind as i am myself but truly anyone can read, takes place in the midst of his pursuit of finding the salesman, ANGST (self deprecation, selfishness, mentions of hardships, death, failed relationships, suppressed emotions, mentions of infertility, includes arguments; this does not have a happy ending), dynamic between reader and gihun is childhood friends who reconnect in later adulthood, some made up lore to build said dynamic, mentions of nightmares, violence, smoking, sickness, slow burn maybe? i'm trying something new, and smut (mutual masturbation) after trusting someone for the first time in a long time mends part of his soul, but for how long, and at what cost?

requested? no, this is an original idea! i can't be normal about anything and how underrated he is in his own show is diabolical. anyway this one is long. please request something if you'd like or stop by the ask box or dms to say hello! i love a man with big brown eyes whose real good at looking sad. enjoy!

you always looked forward to every other saturday because it meant you had the day off. you took this time to sleep in before heading to nearby markets for your weekly grocery run. it was right after lunch time that you were perusing coriander so fresh you could still see water droplets on its leaves. just before you were to ask the older woman who ran the stand for the price, a familiar face swept past your peripheral vision.

you looked over your shoulder, seeing a man dressed in an unzipped jacket and talking rather quickly into his phone. he looked around the street corner like he was lost, a passing car letting you hear only fragments of what he was saying: "—station? which one?" you were about to return to your business when he faced in the direction of your gaze entirely. you hadn't seen that face in years . . .

he hung up the call, now typing with fervour. without thinking, you started walking: "gihun? seong gihun?" your voice was soft, approaching him with an air of caution you couldn't explain. he looked up, face tense with something beyond stress. "yes?" "it's me." you said your name. "we—we went to grade school together? my ... my parents owned a shop just down the street from your mother's." why did every syllable feel more embarrassing than the last, and why did your voice get quieter with every word? you were certain that you were looking at the gihun you grew up with—who could forget those distinctly emotive brown eyes, or those ears that stuck out and were made fodder for incessant teasing from your classmates? but gihun's expression didn't move an inch, his eyebrows knitted together in the slightest of confusion. but it was merely momentary, because when you were uttering apologies, his eyes widened with belated realization. "yes," he thought aloud, his tone was still oddly serious. "i taught you how to tie your shoes."

your expression blossomed into utter elation, lips separated in shock. he so casually swept the dust off of a shelf of memories you forgot even existed, making you mentally regress to that afternoon during p.e. who knows how many years ago. "y-yes!" you nodded. "i wore velcro shoes until i was eleven!" another memory came to the forefront: "we used to trade cassettes during lunch! we argued so much over the british ones. who was it again? david bowie and—" "—duran duran." said gihun. "duran duran!" you repeated, beaming. "oh my ... when was the last time i listened to them." you pondered aloud.

warmth crept onto your cheeks, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth: "i remember you and sangwoo styling your hair like theirs." a breath left his lips, chest tightening, his eyes betraying him as they quivered in abrupt grief. "you wore so much hair gel it blinded me in study hall. i wonder where sangwoo is now. i haven't heard much since he graduated from snu. are you still friends today?"

your question was objectively harmless. there was absolutely no way for you to have the faintest clue of the atrocities gihun's been forced to witness; the painful guilt he carries; the nightmares that carve the abysses underneath his eyes; the debilitating anxiety that fills his head with endless noise even in the eerie quiet of his deserted motel. he nods, forcing a tight, small grin. "we did stay friends." he says bravely, his eyes looking more familiar than ever.

the genuine smile you give in return was added to his self-anointed list of reasons why, at the end of his life, he would not die a peaceful death. it was another thing he would laboriously mewl over in the afterlife, looking up at the rest of the world, shackled to the deepest, darkest pits of eternal regret.

"that's good to hear." you say. "how're you doing, hm? you've cleaned up well from when we were in our twenties." you quipped playfully. through the scattered shells of his soul littered throughout his body, his innocent self was still somewhere in there, because he subconsciously looked for an out to ease his internal tension, letting out a chuckle at your remark. those vibrations in his chest felt foreign after these past two years, but that murky remnant of his past self welcomed the change, no matter how minute it was. "i've been better." he responded.

"yeah?" you asked. "if it makes you feel better, i'm glad i ran late today. because i got to see an old friend after a long time." gihun glanced at either of your hands—no ring. "have you met anyone?" he asked. you nodded, understanding what he meant. "i did." you say. "he left me when the doctor told us i couldn't carry." your eyes widened, unsure of why you were suddenly so honest. "i don't know why i just—" "i'm so sorry." gihun cut you off. his hardened expression turned shocked, even appalled. you recouped, wanting to look past this: "it's okay." you shake your head, metaphorically dodging the memories of your marriage counselor telling you to not 'to deny your own personal wounds as it'll seep into the companionship.' "it was a long time ago, gihun. how about you? did you meet someone?" he nodded, sympathy glistening across his retinas. "we separated shortly after our daughter was born."

"seong gihun, a father?" you grinned. "anything's possible." the ringing of his phone diverted both his and yours attention away. "i'm sorry for keeping you. you looked like you were in the middle of something—" "no, no. it's fine," gihun shook his head. "here, give me your number. i'll call you." he didn't know why he did it. he failed to stop himself declining the phone call from the loan shark he hired to head the search for the salesman, let alone handing you his phone to type your number in. was the impulsiveness of his past self also crystallized, emerging at this very moment? his discreet vow to blend into the shadows seemed to have crumbled in these past five minutes, giving in to his complex feelings: your sweet demeanor made him feel like a normal human being, and he wanted more of it. for the first time in a long time, seeing someone from his past didn't end in complete anguish. or perhaps it was the gleam of sadness that washed over your eyes as you spoke of your ex-husband, inflating his subconscious savior complex. even so, after you exchanged polite goodbyes, walking off in different directions, he mentally kicked himself for compromising your safety concurrent with unabashed intention of calling you that very evening. through any stage of his life, through the gambling and the scheming, it seemed selfishness remained his kryptonite.

for you, it was a hell of a lot to take in. at some point, it felt as if a prank was being played on you. it was one thing to offer sincere condolences for his late mother, or be sorry that his daughter lived so far away. but ... children's games that ended in murder? masked guards with triangles, circles, and squares hiding their faces? a handsome, well-groomed man that tenderized his face over a game of ddakji, in the middle of a train station? sure, you would miss a lot of someone's life after not seeing them for nearly three decades. but ... but this? it was properly outlandish. crazy, even. but over that hushed dinner, sat in a corner booth, the scent of sizzling samgyeopsal on the grill increasingly nauseating, it was too detailed to be a lie. he pleaded nonverbally for you to believe him—through the desperate glossiness of his eyes. you affirmed your belief in the same wordless manner, visibly nodding. you almost threw up when he handed you a business card, the three aforementioned shapes on one side, a random assortment of numbers on the back.

gihun brought you to his motel that same night, barren and lifeless besides white noise of the warm-toned, aged ambient lighting on the first floor and the tinkering of various ceiling fans with rusted hinges. you took in the six monitors mounted on the wall in front of his bed, equipped with live block-to-block security camera footage of his immediate surroundings, the metro transit map tabbed meticulously, and the calendar with past dates crossed out in thick red marker, pages of months previous mixed with takeout containers lodged in the corner trash bin. you quietly followed him upstairs, seeing his hidden stash of weaponry as he explained his recruitment of underground crime groups he's known since his gambling days. you didn't utter a word, not even when you lastly saw the mountain of cash stacked on a random bed in a random room. it stared at you as you did it—blankly.

he broke the silence. "this is where i've been these last three years." he said. he turned to look at you. "i ... i understand that it's a lot." his voice grew quieter. he swallowed, feeling shame brewing in his chest. "i just—i just felt like telling you. i don't know why. i understand if you don't want to know me—" "—i want to help." you said. his eyes widened. "what?" "i want to help you, gihun." you looked at him. he was bewildered. he shook his head, dumbfounded. "no, i think you misunderstood—" "—i did?" you cut him off. "you brought me here because i believe your story, didn't you? what did you expect then, exactly? for me to take my conviction away, like you say those masked soldiers did to those people who didn't stand still enough, or broke their dalgona? you tell me all of these crazy stories, your pain is so visceral that it makes me nauseous with guilt, and you want me to walk away? huh? what is it, then? what did you want!?" you hadn't anticipated your voice to rise, but were yelling by the end, your irritation stuffing the room.

he took your verbal berating silently, avoiding eye contact and shoulders lowering. "i don't ..." his voice trailed. "i don't want you to get hurt." "you gave up the right to protect me when you gave the impression sangwoo was still alive." you spoke firmly, voice now leveled. a breath of defeat slipped through his teeth. "you should've never called me." you said. "you should've done what everyone does: offer to get lunch to be polite, but never actually do anything. you shouldn't've called. i shouldn't've answered. i shouldn't've have shown up tonight, and i should've walked away the moment you started talking. you've given me no choice but to stay."

the silence was deafening. he looked up upon hearing the skid of your shoes against the floor, coming face to face with your softened expression. it was strangely disarming, feeling goosebumps travel up his spine."you were rid of me for thirty years. it's only right we make up for lost time." you said. his gaze didn't falter. it was his turn to affirm his belief of your wordless plea. he nodded, "okay."

you stopped by the motel in the early morning before work, listening to him comb through whatever new strategy he was going to run by his men that day ("what do you think? does this sound efficient?") and in exchange for making you miss your train, he drove you to work before parking at his usual spot. his guilt of bringing you into all of this felt stronger some days than others, showing in your not hearing from him for a couple days at a time. until you squashed that like a bug, dialing him in the middle of your lunch break: "... hello?" "why haven't you called me?" "i ... i've been busy." "you don't have time for a one minute phone call? thirty seconds?" "no, no. that's not what i meant—" "—i'm coming to the motel tonight."

and like clockwork, at nine pm, you showed up on the security camera. his phone vibrated: I am outside. when he unlocked the door, you walked past him without uttering a word, b-lining to his room. he did not immediately follow, purposefully hovering at the entrance after locking it back up securely. he walked with a lowered head, peering into the doorway some moments later. he was taken aback by the sight of you unloading your tote bag, nose tickled with the scent of freshly brewed stew, steaming rice, and side dishes. "i've brought tupperware. you're not eating takeout anymore." you don't look at him, hanging your bag on the back of a chair after fishing out utensils, sitting down with a small huff.

you looked at him. "are you not joining me?" gihun walked into the room, but fell short of sitting down at the table. "how long ... how long have you been cooking?" he felt stupid for asking the question, but the gesture left his mind blank. he felt atomically undeserving. "i got off work early." you responded curtly, plating your food. gihun didn't say anything, making you look up at him again. "it's going to get cold, gihun." your softened tone gave you what you wanted, watching him sit down across from you with muted satisfaction. you ate together in silence, nothing but the gentle clattering of plates and a quiet "thank you" when passing dishes rivaling the white noise of the air conditioning.

"from now on," you started, bringing your bowl to your lips, finishing off the last of your serving of stew. "you will update me everyday. i will bring food for us. if you forget about me, i will haunt you in the afterlife." "understood." he muttered, avoiding eye contact, pretending to look for a piece of meat in his stew, ignoring the one showing itself plainly on the left side of his bowl. his bottom lip quivered; he tightened his mouth. his arms started feeling weak; he inhaled sharply through his nose, tapping his foot under the table. but then a ragged breath rattled out of his diaphragm, his shoulders shuddered, and his vision went blurry; he was a goner. he sobbed into his hand. it sounded a lot like a coughing fit, so you initially thought the food hadn't gone down smoothly. but his defeated, muffled mewls into his palm and sunken shoulders said otherwise, sending you to your feet.

gihun instinctually turned towards the feeling of your hand on his shoulder, crying into your stomach. his hands pulled at your jacket, making you stumble, but you caught yourself. "f-forgive me, please. i won't be able to live with myself. i haven't been able live with myself for a long time." you looked down at the top of his head, unsure of what to do. you brushed his hair back with your fingers—not sure if it was crossing a boundary, but it felt wrong to just stand there—he only cried harder, arms wrapping around your waist, holding you so tightly as if you were a lifeline. "you—you make me feel normal." he said, breathing in short gasps. "after all the sins i've committed, you've—you've shown me atonement is possible." he lifts his head, eyes reddened, cheeks wet. the imagery of the moment was almost religious; if you listened closely, a distant artist began hammering at a marble slab. "b-but i'm not deserving of mercy." he shook his head, his hands coming together, visibly pleading. "leave me. i've hurt too many people. i can't hurt you next."

you wiped his tears. "you already hurt me when you didn't call." you said. "you already hurt me when you pretended sangwoo was alive and well." you reminded gihun, his head sinking in shame. your hand traced his jaw, lifting his head to look up at you. "you don't get to hurt me again by acting like you're alone in this." your voice faltered to a whisper. gihun's fingers ghosted over your wrist. "listen to me—" "—no, you listen to me." you cleared your throat. "we met that saturday for a reason. you let me in tonight for a reason. we're sharing a meal for a reason. stop lying to yourself." you said. "i can handle myself. i've been through a lot. i don't know how many sins you've committed, but even the devil gets a second chance. you should know, you've looked down the barrel of his gun."

gihun tsked. "save your prayers, gihun. just let me have the peace of knowing i'm helping a friend." he sucked in a shaky breath, sinking his face into his hands. "what have i done?" he whispered. "no one deserves to be alone as long as we both have." you retort. silence fills the room, making way for the words to settle into his psyche. goosebumps arise along his spine at the return of your fingers brushing his hair back. you take a step forward, his forehead brushing against the same place he wept on seconds before. "the least i could do is stay," you spoke quietly as if someone would overhear, even if you two were alone. "even if it's for a little while." as embarrassing and hypocritical as it felt to him, gihun gradually wrapped his arms around your waist. his touch hovered, however, only for you to pull him in, letting him know it was okay.

he got the message. his eyes closed, a long breath escaping his lips. you would've missed what he said if you weren't listening closely: "please do." he said, voice low, tone weakened. "please stay the night. there's—there's a room close to mine. down the hall." "i will." you assure without hesitation."what're friends for, hm?" you grinned. gihun let go. "i'll go—" he cleared his throat, voice gravely. "i'll go wash my face." he gestured to the bathroom behind you, rising from his seat. you returned to yours, "when you come back, have more food. you look sunken in." "i will." he muttered.

gihun closed the sliding door, inhaling through his nostrils, wiping a rogue tear with his knuckles. before he turned on the water, he looked over his shoulder, peering through the translucent palm tree imprint adorning the bathroom door. he caught a glimpse of you re-plating his food, leaned over the table, carefully pouring more stew; a hefty pile of rice on his plate; the side dishes pushed towards his seat. his bottom lip quivered, quickly looking away and tugging the right knob, the faucet pouring. the water ran and ran, but his eyes were stuck on his reflection in the mirror. he felt nauseated by the sight of his glossy eyes, deepened frown lines, and pathetic expression: worthless, contradictory, complacent.

seeing himself felt revolting. not even a mother could love this face after all i've done. he thought to himself. how would he know? he found his mother lifeless on the floor when he came home, eternally impairing her with the gripping chokehold of disappointment routinely tightened by her deadbeat son throughout the last years of her life. what would she think of her son now, a secluded loner who lives off of blood money, whom watched his best friend die right before his eyes, hired criminals to do his bidding to further involve himself in a fight that feels too big, and on top of all that has looped in an innocent woman into all of this? and for what, comfort? a semblance of peace? gihun splashed his face haphazardly, drying off with a towel hastily. he turned the faucet off, staring at himself again: "own the consequence." he whispered to himself. "it's all your fault."

you stayed at the motel even if it was against your better judgment, such as having work earlier than usual. gihun stirred awake at the rustling outside of his closed and locked door, reaching over and squinting at his phone screen: 5:37 AM. his senses clouded by exhaustion, he didn't realize just how quickly he recognized your footsteps, climbing out of bed without a second thought. his voice startled you, even if it was quiet: "what're you doing up so early?" he asked. "you don't have work for almost three hours." "i go in earlier today," you weren't sure why you were whispering anymore. "and i forgot something at home. i'm sorry for waking you up, gihun. go back to bed." he left the doorway, coming back with his jacket and shoes on, keys in his pocket. "let's go. i'll take you home, then to work." "no!" you protested, shaking your head and waving your hand. "i've caused enough trouble waking you up." "i'm already here," he said, taking your purse and carrying it in his right hand, his left gently ushering you alongside him. "let's go. you'll be late."

you shared cigarettes after dinner, the emptied tupperware long forgotten on the small table some feet away. you blew the smoke out the window, watching it disappear into the night. the click of gihun's lighter caught your attention, gaze lingering whilst he inhaled. you smirked to yourself: "i kicked this habit right before i started trying for a family." you said, bringing the cigarette between your lips. "i guess you're as bad an influence you say to be." you quipped, exhaling. "high school gihun would ask if he looked cool doing it." he muttered, holding his between his lips, putting the lighter back in his pocket. "he would. and i'd tell him he does." you affirmed with a nod, flicking ash into the tray lining the windowsill. "he would also ask for you to not tell his mom, even though he stole those cigarettes from her shop. then, two days later, he'd ask you for one." you chuckled, leaning towards the window and blowing. gihun shook his head, "what an annoying kid." "funny." you corrected him. "you were funny. aware, but also clueless. caring, too."

"i was shameless." he murmured lowly, blowing his smoke. you tsked un-approvingly, "stop being so brooding. now that's annoying." he looked at you as if you detested his entire family lineage, eyes widened in an expression fit for schoolyard bickering. "i'm not being annoying, i'm being real! hey—" he said, pointing his cigarette at you. "you're the one being annoying, just going against whatever i say! you've been doing this so much lately! on wednesday, when i offered to buy dinner because you've been working so late these days, and you said to me 'hey gihun, i have fifteen more years until i'm eligible for elderly welfare. i can cook just fine.' you could've just said either yes or no!" he waved his hand to accentuate his point, continuing: "and last week when you told me five times to stop wearing the same three shirts on rotation, and i told you i have more than that but there's no need because i sit in a car all day, and you said 'you're more dedicated to an outfit than the president is to the oath of office.' where do you even get this stuff?" he questioned, bewildered, pointing his cig to his temple. you nearly drew blood from your lip from attempting to contain your laughter. "and i wasn't stealing from my mom when i was that young! at least be honest about that." hearing him accentuate his vowels in the midst of his frustrated rant—a habit he's seemingly had his entire life—made your face feel warmer than before, a wide smile appearing whilst laughter finally rang out of you; you'd unpack the former later.

"okay, okay." you nodded, your free hand coming to rest on his arm as a way of both giving in and telling him to calm down. "was it my mom you stole from, then?" you joked, unable to hold your laughter at the look on his face. "you can tell me, gihun. i'm sure the statute of limitations is up by now for theft." "you're impossible." he muttered, shaking his head, bringing his cigarette to his lips. "hey. hey," you said, arm traveling up to his bicep, "i'm just kidding. i know you didn't steal." he stayed silent until he couldn't. "jungbae used to take his father's cigarettes. that's what i smoked." "okay, okay. i believe you, no need to be emotional." you said that on purpose, an upside down grin molding your face at his expression, suppressed laughter clouding your lungs. "how am i emotional for just telling the truth! hey, you can't just lay the bait and expect me not to take it!" "are you really this unable to take a joke?" you questioned. "wow, gihun. you take our role as elders more seriously than anyone our age." you remarked with faux indignity, hiding your grin behind your hand, inhaling. "impossible." he muttered to himself, turning away from you to face the window. your hand fell to your side, glancing at his cigarette between his lips before gazing out the window yourself.

silence washed over the room. after a few minutes, you put out your cigarette in the ash tray. you cleared your throat, crossing your arms over your chest. "i know it's hard, but lighten up." you began. "we just had a good meal. our shit will pass smoothly in the morning." gihun turned his head, looking at you with those routinely emotive brown eyes, too capacious for his own good, gaping at you. you thought you knew what he was going to say, but he scoffed, looking back out the window, a hint of a chuckle leaving his diaphragm, a ghost of a smile on his face. "poop jokes? at our age?" he shook his head, inhaling. upon his exhale, he struck gold: "you're so full of shit." both of you turned to each other with widened eyes, an open smile of surprise on your face: "a pun!" you called out, pointing at his chest. "you just said a pun!" "i'm not inept." he said. "of course not." you agreed. "just stubborn." you grinned, hearing him scoff.

"you may not be the seong gihun i remember entirely," you said, watching him extinguish his cigarette. "but you're certainly a seong gihun that'll be hard to forget." your words weigh unexpectedly heavily, suddenly bringing up the inevitable next step when gihun confronts the salesman. it's long been established as you two have talked about it before, albeit more hesitantly these days, even if it didn't start that way. in the beginning, it was treated with zero sugarcoating; basic fact; common sense—he's going back in there and no one can stop him. however, over these last few months, it's not as if the end goal has changed, but its honest, unforgiving nature has become increasingly visceral. it lingers in the air like an unwanted draft, but you're scared shitless to get up to close the window, fearing something bad might happen if you leave your bed. it was overtly irrational, a perfect concoction of contradiction and avoidance; even at your big age. it made you feel sixteen again, narrowly evading your crush in the busy school corridor, but stealing every possible glance during your shared class. wait . . . hold on . . . did you just use the word . . .

"i don't plan on forgetting you." gihun cut your inner monologue off. you were taken aback. his gaze is unrelenting, even if his eyes give away his own surprise at his words. your mouth moved, but no sound followed. your mind was completely and utterly blank. gihun felt it too, considering you always had something to say at any given time. that's how you made your way back into his life; upended his routine; granted him a better sleeping schedule; made a technicolor life seem possible again; filled his aura with something other than regret and disdain. his life felt—even if it was only momentary—not like it was unfolding to the beat of a ticking metronome, but in peaceful silence, like now. there was no room for hurtful memories, intrusively incessant conflicting feelings born out of his festering trauma, or the hefty responsibility to avenge those lost that he attributes to his own faults. there was room for only you. you.

gihun turned away, flustered. he suddenly wished he never put his cigarette out, yearning for the scent of nicotine to distract him from the discomfort he felt now—a feeling he was sure you shared, too. "i'm sorry." he muttered, so quiet it nearly blended in with the noise of the air conditioning kicking in. you stepped forward, locking your arm with his. he turned his head, glancing at you when you laid your temple against his bicep. he feels one of your hands gingerly rub his arm, saying something neither of you had the guts to verbally. his posture was stiff, unsure of what to do, but he didn't think for an iota of a second to step away or nudge you off. he felt something inside him begin to thaw, or maybe it slowly had been this entire time. "tonight is the first time i've heard you laugh since we met again." you spoke. your tone was so hushed it made gihun feel as if you were the last two people on all of earth. you two stood in silence, looking out the same window; listening to the distant cares drive by; the meow of a stray cat; the air conditioning shutting off. too afraid to move his gaze—and frightened by how hot his face felt—gihun slowly pulled his hand out of his pocket, slipping it into yours. it took him a moment to mount the courage to intertwine your fingers, and another to lay his temple against the top of your head.

something shifted after that night. how could it not? your apartment collected dust with how you practically lived at the motel, other than to cook. gihun awoke before you did on days you had work earlier, intentionally setting this alarm no matter the time he fell asleep the night before. you stayed in his car a little longer than usual when he dropped you off, really pushing that five minute grace period you have to clock in on time, even if those extra few minutes were spent in flustered silence or repeatedly glancing at how close your hands were on the center console. every time you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, you hoped it was him; elated if it was indeed his name in your messages, and an eye roll if it was an email or the news. gihun found himself sitting up in his seat when your text came through midday (Going on lunch in 15 min), uncomfortably tugging at the collar of his shirt. he cleared his throat when you sent your usual follow up (Free now), staring at the call button next to your contact name. what am i going to say? he thought to himself, only to realize how ridiculous he sounded. gihun pressed the button hastily, bringing the phone to his ear with an irritated huff. since when did i become sixteen again?

on the evenings where you're running late for dinner, gihun is in your room at the motel, tidying it. he didn't want to face the fact that he lingered in your space because it was precisely that: yours—or in more truthful words, he just really missed you. it was where your energy remained a constant, even through the poorly-lit space and stuffy air. it felt irrational to miss someone he would see in a matter of hours, but he could not help it. he distracted himself with fixing the folded corner of the thin duvet; smoothening a stubborn wrinkle on a pillow case; replacing a faulty lightbulb; cracking the window open just enough if it was particularly humid that day. if you still hadn't arrived afterward, gihun sat on the edge of your finely made bed, waiting idly. he sped down the hall upon reading I'm outside, hushing your flurry of apologies with a gentle "it's okay. i only just came home, too."

gihun was no stranger to nightmares. he had them often, tossing and turning in bed, waking up in a cold sweat or with a prolonged headache that followed him into the day. over time, he got better at lulling himself back to sleep, harnessing the mantra of it's not real as best he could. but one night . . . it was too tangible, tactile, even. filled with villains of his past, ghosts of mistakes, ominous reminders of the uncertain future. he knew he was in a dream, but his subconscious was at war with his conscious efforts to wake up—throwing him in a very frightening limbo. he awoke with a sharp gasp, his body riddled with sweat and coughing abhorrently, throat heinously dry. this was the most severe dream he's had in a while. gihun tried to ground himself by whatever means his mangled mind could think of: steadying his breath, feeling the fraying blanket with his fingertips, trying to remember that mantra ... but his senses felt electrified, the visceral fear of the nightmare still fresh.

his eyes shot open when he heard a knock at his door. he stilled, unsure whether he'd imagined it. some of his rationale had returned, but not entirely, because when there was another knock, he quickly got out of bed, grabbing the gun on his nightside table. that dream really must have done a number on him, because he didn't look at his monitors and moved based on assumption—halting upon hearing "gihun?" your voice laced with concern yet gentle, ear pressed against the door. you knocked again. "gihun? are you awake?" you asked. "is everything okay in there?" his shoulders sunk in relief. have i lost my mind? he thought to himself. he put the gun back, momentarily deferring his disgust over his rash actions, cracking open the door.

he swallowed, hiding his grimace at his still aching throat with a quick swipe of his forehead. "good evening." he said rather monotone, trying to mask as light-spirited but executing it meekly. "i'm okay. i had a bad dream." "i heard you—" you gestured down the hall. "i heard you from my room, gihun. you sounded like you were in pain. i was worried that, that—" "—i'm fine." he nodded, trying to assure you. before you rebutted, he asked "what time is it?" whilst rubbing his eyes. "two in the morning." you answered hurriedly. "look, gihun. you're drenched in sweat and you're breathing so hard. i know this wasn't some ordinary dream." you say. "was it ... was it about them? the men in masks, the games?" gihun's hesitant pause was your answer. "i'm okay." he said again. "i'm sorry for waking you up. go back to bed." you tsked. "still so stubborn, even when he's sleepy." you eyed him, seeing his glistening face. "okay," you gave in. "i'm down the hall if you need me." a pause. "you're not alone in this." you reminded him, walking away and returning to your room. his gaze lingered in your general direction for a moment before closing his door.

he tried to fall asleep, but found himself stuck, only able to stare at the ceiling. gihun's mind ran a million miles an hour, feeling short of breath if he focused on that for more than ten seconds. he looked at his phone for the fifth time in three minutes: 2:47 AM. sleep felt nowhere in sight. his sweat had mostly subsided, heartbeat leveled, but his mind remained riddled. if he closed his eyes, they would open right back up. your proposition played in his head like a broken record, but like anyone his age, his pride stood in the way. it's not only that he didn't want to seem weak or have an insecure grip on self-sufficiency, but also seeking comfort still felt foreign to him. it was another symptom of circumstance, both of the past three years and the last four months. gihun felt undeserving, foolish for pursuing such a thing when he's so close to throwing himself back into a world running on nothing but adrenaline and fear.

gihun laid on his left side with a stern huff, closing his eyes, trying so desperately to feel that lilting tug of sleep, even if he had to pretend. he did all of this to protect you and himself. to protect the inevitable, to crystallize his oath of taking down those bastards once and for all. but when he looked at his phone, seeing it was now 3:16 AM, he suddenly felt thirty-five again: coming home horrendously late after another taxing day at the factory, muscles weak and his will even more so. his wife wasn't home, having been at her relative's house the past few days after an argument they had. he laid atop the bed the best his sore muscles allowed; he hadn't enough strength to shower or even feed himself. he got up less than four hours later, freshening up as best he could in an eerily silent house, ignoring the grumble of his stomach as he boarded the public bus.

it was one of his loneliest moments. he didn't know why he thought of that specifically, considering the divorce, custody battle, and moving back in with his mother was a different low point entirely. his eyes opened to the darkness. the silence felt similar, the shame even more so . . . gihun got up, taking his pillow and blanket with him. he knocked twice, pressing his ear against the door, only for it to creak open. it must have been left open. he stepped inside, closing and locking it behind him. the layout of your room was the same as his, so he had no problem navigating the dark room. he quickly laid his pillow on the floor next to your bed, closing his eyes after unfolding his blanket. you were awake, overhearing his shuffling into the room. "gihun?" he gasped: "you scared me." he whispered back, hand on his chest. "why are you on the floor?" you asked. silence lingered. "i wasn't—i wasn't sure if it would be okay." "get on the bed, gihun." unbeknownst to him, you were awake for the past hour and some change waiting; having moved purposefully to lay on one side of the bed.

your face felt warm, eyes squeezing shut and nestling into your pillow when you felt the weight of the bed dip behind you. even though your backs faced each other, you thanked the universe that no lights were on in the room. gihun laid as far on his side of the bed as he could; not enough to warrant worry that he would fall off, but enough to thwart his fastening heartbeat he felt come increasingly close to his throat. or so he thought, because he stuttered with his next words: "you—you left your door open. don't ... don't do that. someone might come in." a beat. "you did." was all you said. barely ten minutes later, both of you succumbed to the white nose of the air vent, gihun's quiet snores and your steady breaths filling the room.

a week later, you walked into your apartment, setting bags of fresh groceries down on the kitchen counter. you heard your text tone go off in the midst of searching your cabinets for the usual pots and pans you used to cook—a piercing rattle reverberating through the immediate space when you dropped a small pot onto the stove, reading the text from gihun: 1 do not come. you stared at the text in horror, inner monologue clustered and borderline indecipherable—did he find him? how? when—yesterday it was another dead end—and lunch was smooth, too—how could have things changed so quickly? where is he—do not come? is he at there, at the motel? he sent this seven minutes—did he confront him there? how did he even find him there? how did he even— how did he even get inside? your eyes flickered back to the 1—a code you two established the night you took your wordless oath to help him in his endeavor ("it's quick to type. the 'one' we're looking for, the 'one' chance we have.") gihun sent the other three words to deter your stubbornness under the glimmer of the neon pink motel sign he didn't turn on himself, further punctuating the sentiment of imminent danger.

"how ... how long do i wait for?" you whispered to yourself. you paced back and forth, gnawing at whatever skin was left on your lips, moving to your nails after they felt raw. you didn't process your stomach rumbling more time went by; another hour passing on the clock, nor did you pay mind to how your loafers continuously pinched the back of your ankles, too occupied to remember to take them off. your phone rang close to midnight. gihun hadn't realized how quickly you picked up his call: "gihun!? what happened? is everything okay? are you okay?" "i'm safe." he said. "i am okay." he let out a breath, hearing yours on your side of the line. he began to explain: "we found him an hour after lunch. we tailed and tried to corner him, but he was too quick. one of my men are dead, and he used to other to find me at the motel." "n-no." you said weakly, shaking your head, horrified. "he was in my room." gihun continued. "he challenged me to a game of russian roulette. i won. he's dead."

you hadn't the faintest clue what that game was. but that did not matter. "d-dead? just—just like that?" your voice was quiet, eyes glossy. "after searching for these three years, he's gone just like that?" these people were so fucking odd. no matter how many times you reeled over the details, anecdotes, of whatever you learned, their ominous nature left you with an uneasy stomach; an urge to look over your shoulder at any given moment. it was consuming you these last six months. you couldn't imagine how it's been for him for the past few years. gihun nodded, despite you not being able to see. "yes." he affirmed. "he gave me what i needed. there's a card with a date and address for a halloween party, i think, since i searched it up and saw its a club. that's where the leader of the games will be. we've started planning what we're going to do—" "—that's—that's two weeks from now." you thought aloud. "yes." said gihun, nodding again. here came the part of the conversation he'd been avoiding: "i need you to ... i need you to stay at your apartment. just for tonight." you were deeply offended. "what? are you crazy?" you retorted, furrowing your eyebrows. "absolutely not. you listen to me, i'm coming—" "—no, listen to me." he cut you off. "it's a mess at the motel. i can't—" he huffed, shoulders sinking a little. "i can't do that to you."

you understood what he meant. "okay." you sounded hurt, but agreeable. you leaned on the kitchen counter, elbow rustling against the grocery bags. "okay." you repeated, running your hand over your face, clearing your throat afterward. you realized this wasn't gihun acting as if he was alone in his endeavor, but asking nonverbally for your belief in him. "i'll stay here. i trust you." "thank you." he responded in a whisper, overcome by a hefty wave of relief. "just for tonight. i promise." he specified once again. "i know." you said. a moment of silence washes over before gihun speaks. "i'll take you to work tomorrow." he said gently. "do you go in at nine?" "seven." you correct. you look over your shoulder, seeing it was nearing one in the morning on the oven clock. "i didn't realize how late it was. i haven't even showered yet." "me neither." he responded, glancing at the time on his car's dashboard. "i'll be at your building at half six. is that okay?" you nodded, despite his not being able to see. "yes, that's okay."

silence washed over the call. "thank you for trusting me." he said. "thank you for trusting me too. goodnight, gihun." "goodnight." he quickly hung up the call, tossing his phone onto the empty passenger's seat. a shaky breath left his lips as his eyes watered, fingers harshly rubbing his closed eyelids. "fuck." he muttered under his breath. when his vision cleared, he turned his head, looking out his car window to your apartment building. he stared and stared, eyes flittering up and down the various floors, trying to spot yours with any hint; a lamp turned off, a curtain closed, anything. some part of him wanted to stay in his spot until he was to pick you up, and another irrationally hoped you'd walk out of the building, like a lovesick teenager who's lost all reason. but eventually, gihun's hand reached for the gear, putting the car in drive, gradually pushing down on the peddle.

those two weeks were a stilled, prolonged goodbye. your face and muscles felt heavy as if you were already in mourning, but your brain remained defiant. he's too stubborn to let those people kill him. you told yourself, pouring creamer into your coffee at work. he's not stupid enough to die. the later half of october rolled out. with each passing day, you slowly lost the strength to cross out the dates on the calendar in his room. gihun would be a fool to not see the growing cynicism that deepened your eye bags, the perpetual frown on your face during dinner, or the avoidance of eye contact. you woke up too easily these days, gihun often hearing your shower head long before your alarm went off. he wasn't sure if you even set an alarm anymore, but it was enough to deduce you weren't getting much sleep. what was once a witty back-and-forth when reviewing the day's plans for his recruits, became a subdued, one-sided conversation where you looked at the whiteboard with an unreadable expression, offering a monotone "sounds good" in the end. as halloween drew closer, your midday texts lessened. gihun reached out—Are you going on lunch soon?—only to come to terms with his hurt upon reading your response: Busy day. I'll see you at dinner. your eyes watered, bottom lip quivering when he texted back: Okay. No problem. you clicked your phone off, turning it face down. you pushed away your half-eaten lunch, losing your appetite. a ragged breath left your diaphragm, tears threatening to leave your waterline. no one else was in the break room, so the consequences of suppressing your emotions thankfully beared no audience. but you felt exposed nonetheless, confronted by the fact that you couldn't bear to lose gihun, but you had no choice.

the motel was eerily silent the night before halloween. the plan was concrete, reviewed ad nauseam over the last couple of weeks. dinner had wrapped a few hours prior, the tupperware packed away in your tote bag hanging on the back of a lounge chair in your room. you didn't dare look at gihun. in fact, your eyes stayed down the entire time, speaking minimally other than to ask to pass a side dish, or offer him more rice. your quivering lips were hidden well behind your utensils, or taking a drink of water. gihun was just as quiet. not passive, but quiet. he didn't muster the courage to say anything. he might not be the most gifted in expressing his emotions, but he was aware enough to read the room and know it wasn't the best time to bring up the inevitable. he knew he couldn't leave you alone. he couldn't, not without saying something.

so there he was, some time past eleven pm, knocking on your door frame. "are you awake?" he asked gently, even if your nightside lamps were on, apparent that you weren't asleep. you peeked over your shoulder. "yes." you answered, returning your temple to your pillow. gihun walked into the room, back facing you as he sat on the edge of your bed. he had enough gall to keep you in his peripheral vision, but fell short of looking at you directly. "what did i tell you about leaving your door open, hm?" he asked, trying to sound sharp, but succumbing to tenderness. "anyone can walk in." "you aren't just anyone, gihun." you said oh so delicately, enough to have him turn his head completely, eyebrows turned up sympathetically. you saw his eyes on you in your periphery, but avoided his gaze, keeping yours on your palm running back and forth along a small spot of the thin duvet.

"i—" gihun reached into his pocket. "i made you a key for the motel." he leaned over to his right, setting it down on your nightside table. "if you ever need anything," he glanced in your direction, the strength to look at you fleeting. "take as much as you want. you know where the room is." you didn't say a word. your palm stilled. his gaze fell to the duvet, too, his hand gliding across the wrinkles. "like i said before," his voice was low. "i don't plan on forgetting you—" "—gihun, stop." you interrupted. "i don't have the strength for this."

silence. he tries again: "i'll come back." he spoke warily. "i'm going to come back." "please." your voice fell to a whisper. "i can't take it." your chin hovered above your chest from the length you went to avoid his eyes. you felt fragile as porcelain, every single utterance of this conversation chipping away at you without remorse. gihun doesn't try again, internally frustrated with how easily he felt defeated. silence wins again, but not for long. he continues tracing the duvet's wrinkles, inching towards to your hand with every swipe. his hand comes closer and closer, until he slows. you watched his fingers gradually hold yours. gihun doesn't apply pressure, but he stays there. he keeps them in his grip when he moves to lay on his side, facing you. "at least look at me." he whispered, pleading. "i can't." you sounded so defeated. his eyes glistened, gripping your fingers properly now. "i can't regret my decision now. not when i'm so close." his eyes shined under the warm-toned light of your lamp. "don't make me regret my decision. please."

your head rose, meeting his eyes. he looked his most familiar: a deep somberness etched in the crevices of his face, his eyes perhaps the most poetic of all. they looked so soft, so gentle; as if a look of malice could never come close to tainting them. he could try his damn hardest, feel the most visceral of anger, but he could never look truly dissatisfied, forever unable to mask his true desire for comfort. for love. a small grin tugged at gihun's lips. "there you are. i missed you." he was barely audible, almost as if he mouthed the words. without thinking, he moved his head onto the pillow, not realising how close you two were until it was too late. it was like a strange instinct, the way he leaned in. he couldn't stop himself; not when the quietest of gasps escaped between your teeth, or his heart thumping so harshly his chest felt it was going to burst, or when his lips hovered admittedly awkwardly above yours. the kiss was light, almost nonexistent, until gihun leaned forward a little more. the tip of his nose brushed past yours, bringing his lips against yours wholly. his nose lightly dipped into your cheek when he kissed you again. before you could show any semblance of reciprocity, gihun abruptly pulled away.

"i'm sorry." he said. "i shouldn't have ... i shouldn't have done that. i'm sorry—" "—it's okay." you shook your head, panicking slightly. you slipped your fingers out of his grip, using them to make him look at you. "come here." you say. he follows, molding his lips with yours once again. the kiss was one of fervor; relocating misplaced frustration into that of palpable yearning; two souls who came together by chance after decades past; an atomic understanding of each other's pain, yet accepting you'll never truly know what's its like to live the other's life; a long-awaited embrace of the unknown, succumbing to the desire—no, the need to be loved.

gihun's lips felt soft, contrasting with his stubble rubbing against your chin and upper lip. it made you pull him closer, his head tilting to the side to deepen the kiss, eyebrows turning upward at the sound of your muffled whimper. your hand left his face, taking his hand and laying his palm atop your clothed breast. he took the hint, kneading it with just the right amount of firmness, but not without moaning lowly into your mouth. his pointer and middle fingers pulled the collar of your sweater down, breaking the kiss mind-numbingly slowly before trailing down to your neck, past your double chin, settling on the faint stretch marks adorning your shoulder. your eyes fluttered closed at the sensation, an encouraging hand in his hair as your chest nearly collided with his, back arched in bliss.

you brought yourself back down to earth, hand reaching past his chest, undoing his belt. you scrambled to undo the button and zipper, escaping into his briefs. gihun let out a guttural moan into your warm skin, embarrassingly (to him) hard in your hand, breathing hard through your slow strokes. "h—h-ha ... h—ngh!" he tried to contain himself by peppering kisses onto your skin, but ended up bucking his hips up into your soft palm. you fastened your pace, fingers wrapped securely around his girthy cock, his precum wetting your hand. gihun shuddered, mouth agape and face burrowed into your clothed chest, fingers limp on your shoulder. you bit your bottom lip as you continued your ministrations, thighs rubbing together for any sort of friction. a whimper rattled out of his diaphragm when you began pumping only his tip. "i'm g-gonna pass out!" he whined. he gasped sharply when he felt something stir in his abdomen. "n-no, no—w-wait!" he suddenly moved, laying his head next to yours on the pillow. "w-wait! s-stop! i'm—" his body reacted before he did. gihun's nose brushed against your cheek, his mewls and grunts making your eyebrows knit together in a fit of awe and sexual drive you hadn't felt in years. hot spurts of cum coated his briefs and your inner wrist. you gradually came to a halt, overhearing his labored breathing.

you leaned in, softly reconnecting your lips. even in his clouded haze, gihun kissed back with intent. his hand found the hem of your pants, leaning closer to you, your free hand holding his cheek, deepening the kiss. you turned your head towards the ceiling with a sharp inhale, effectively breaking the kiss, however, when his fingers dipped between your folds. goosebumps arose on your arms underneath your sleeves, a soft hiss brewing between your teeth. "your hand is cold." you whispered. his nose pushed against your cheek, lips pressing chaste kisses onto your supple skin. "i'm sorry." he said. "i can ... i can stop." "no, it's okay. it's okay." you say breathily, closing your thighs around his wrist. gihun's jaw dropped at the sight."it'll warm up. just—just keep going." you tell him. "fuck!" his voice fought so hard to stay quiet, coming out hoarse.

your eyes were closed, eyebrows furrowed. it was only every few swirls of his finger did a small gasp leave your slightly swollen lips, feeling him come closer to your clit than before. gihun was so fucking close to where you needed him to be, but not quite there. his unintentional teasing concocted the subtle yet apparent slosh of your wetness as your puffy lips encased his middle finger. you arched your back a little, hoping it would slip him into place, but to no avail. you reached for his head, fingers slipping into his hair. "gihun," you swallowed, mouth dry. "a little h-higher." "where? here?" his cock was hardening in your hand again, blurring his logic, trailing kisses up to your temple in his misunderstanding. "your hand, gihun. your f-finger." "right, right." he quickly realized. "i'm sorry."

the pad of his middle finger inched higher. the light of heaven was now in your sight. you opened your legs to allow just enough room for his wrist to fulfill your next request: "a l-little deeper, gihun. a little—f-fuck!" your gasp echoed off the walls. your hand left his hair, coming to cover your mouth, eyes barely open to look down at his hand in your pants. your wetness was blatant, the sticky sound making his cock stiffen and your vision blur. "g-gihun!" you whimpered, feeling him rubbing unrelentingly your sweet bundle of nerves. every swipe tightened the muscles of your inner thighs, toes curling in your socks. "k-keep going! keep going!" you pleaded helplessly, voice stuck at a whisper.

gihun pressed his forehead against your temple, eyes cast below with no intent of looking away. "f-fuck." he muttered under his breath, mouth agape at how he worked you. his mind became mush, marveling over your warmth and intoxicating softness. "please." he muttered to himself, squeezing his eyes shut at the thought of how you would feel wrapped around him. his shame made him feel juvenile, embarrassed by how his thoughts were as sexually erratic when he was 21 to his now 51, but not enough to stop him from grinding his cock into your loosened grip. "p-please," he whispered to himself. "god almighty—hngh!"

you began pumping him again, your other hand going back into his hair, turning your head and kissing his lips. it was one of newfound hunger; quick yet deep; quiet but stuttered through moans and hushed whimpers. suddenly, a knot formed in your abdomen, threatening to unravel. you broke the kiss. "i'm close." your tone was so vulnerable, like you would trust him with the world. gihun opened his eyes, taking in how beautiful you looked under the lamplight, the sheerest coat of sweat glimmering off your skin. "are—ngh!—a-are you?" you asked. he felt your breath brush against his cheeks, his forehead atop yours, nodding. "y-yes. we can finish together. c'mon." he kissed your cheek and your temple. "o-okay," you said breathily, head turning towards the ceiling, feeling his lips rest against your skin. "i trust you."

before gihun could register it, you unraveled. your moans were so delicate, so gentle, descending into shudders rattling out of your chest; back arching, eyebrows turned upward in ecstasy. "i—i!" you whimpered, the feeling of his finger continuously circling your clit through your unimaginable orgasm making your sinuses loosen, tears prickling even in your tightly shut eyes. "yes! yes! y-yes!" you chanted like a prayer, pumping him whilst you rode out your high. gihun was an incoherent mess through his second orgasm, his sweaty forehead sticking to your cheek, spilling onto your wrist in finality. he felt depleted of all energy, dizzy for those first few moments whilst you laid beside each other in your respective post-orgasmic hazes, your joint-labored breathing outdoing the room's air conditioning unit.

his hand slowly pulled out of your pants, yours slipping from his briefs when he turned to lay on his back. gihun's eyes closed, lulling his heartbeat with every deep breath he took. even though your body had stilled—eyes closed, tongue running over your dried lips; trying to bring yourself back down—something stirred inside of you. your body had its release, but your heartbeat fastened for a reason you did not want to acknowledge. in fact, there could not have been a worse time than now. you hastily wiped the tear that had fallen during your orgasm, your face contorting into a near sob, almost giving in to the reality that you convinced yourself you've long accepted. but you loathed it so much, so viscerally that your temples vibrated with anger; resentment; vitriol, even. all those missed phone calls, lying texts, quiet dinners, avoidant conversations . . . now here you were, suffering the consequences the night before he's set to leave.

am i really going to cry after an orgasm? really? you thought to yourself. you knew it wasn't the truth, but you were internally fighting tooth and nail to not yield to the suffocating devastation consuming your lungs like smoke at the moment; breath stuttering through your nostrils, chest convulsing whilst you held back the tears. but then, you felt his hand ghost past yours when he fixed his posture in bed. all hell broke loose.

gihun's eyes widened when he heard you cry. his hand did not hesitate to ride up your arm; a firm, yet gentle tug at your shoulder in an attempt for your attention. "hey," he spoke softly. "what happened? is everything okay?" you cried even harder, bringing your hand to your mouth. gihun's knuckles wiped what he could reach, turning on his side to face you. his big brown eyes looked to you with the same devastation your body was currently expelling. "was it something i did?" he whispered tragically. he was afraid he overstepped a boundary tonight, the intensity of it all hitting you suddenly. but that couldn't be farther from the truth. if only you could stop crying to tell him.

you turned to look at him, pawing weakly at his chest to somehow ground yourself enough to speak. the attempt proved to be worthless, the warmth of your tears lulling you into a state of incoherence. gihun's hands came up, holding either side of your face. "what is it?" his voice was low, laced with concern and perpetual shame. "what happened, hm? you can tell me." he encouraged, fingers wiping your fresh tears, palm softly encasing your cheek afterward. "i can't stand to see you like this. please, tell me."

"i-i'm so sorry i've been so distant!" you exclaimed, your tears added an unintended tone of urgency. you looked into his eyes, shaking your head. "i'm so sorry i've b-been so mean!" "no—" gihun dismissed gently, pulling you into his chest. he wrapped his arms around you; one hand smoothening your hair, the other holding onto your hip. "it's okay. you have nothing to apologize for." he meant every word. gihun never once questioned why you acted the way you did. he's anticipated this from the moment he asked for your number that early afternoon several months ago. out of all the unpredictable variables that have unfairly cast themselves into the trajectory of his life, he could always count on his selfishness to rear its ugly face in the end. whether it be debt, addiction, or hurting the ones he loved—he bears the consequence. but some part of this makes it feel worth it, as murky as it is. "it's okay. it's okay." he hushed your cries. gihun kissed your temple tenderly. "there is nothing to be forgiven." he told you when your tears subsided, holding onto you even tighter. "you haven't done anything wrong."

after a while, you slowly sat up. gihun too, albeit cautiously, watching you wipe underneath your eyes with the back of your hand. you let out a long breath, lifting your head to meet his gaze. "i've always been such an ugly crier." you muttered. gihun exhaled through his nose, grinning. "i can never predict what's going to come out of your mouth next. no matter how hard i try." you grew flustered, an upside down grin tugging at your lips. "you missed thirty years of my life." you said. "of course you'd be a little lost."

gihun couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. comfortable silence washed over the room. your palm began to swipe back and forth on the duvet again, but your eyes were on him. avoidance wasn't in the realm of possibility anymore. it hurt, but you felt ready. "you can't die, gihun." you spoke, voice quiet, as if volume would shatter the sanctity of your oath. you looked at him as if you were the only two beings on the entire earth. "i have more food to make." his gaze did not waver. "i won't." he responded, equally gentle. "i have more to eat."

two days later, you unlocked the door, stepping into your apartment. you kicked your shoes off without a moment's hesitation, setting your purse down on the kitchen counter. the rustle of the plastic bag in your hand almost overshadowed the vibration in your pocket. fishing your phone out, you rolled your eyes at the work email notification. something regarding an ongoing project, or an upcoming meeting—you could have cared less. "it's nine fucking pm. are they this incompetent?" you muttered as you walked to the living room, clicking your phone off and setting it down on the coffee table.

the plastic bag, surprisingly, was not filled with fresh vegetables and your other go-to ingredients, but takeout. you untied the knot, opening the styrofoam containers filled with freshly-cooked fried chicken and tteokbokki, respectively. "shit," you said to yourself, getting up from the couch and scurrying to the fridge, bringing back a can of sprite to accompany the meal. you ignored the cabinet housing your tupperware, not even permitting your oven, which stored your pots and pans, in your peripheral vision. for now, and for your sanity, they were dead to you.

you ate your meal in silence. the crunch of the chicken, chewiness of the rice cake, and the fizzing of your soda kept you company. your phone lit up with emails, the news, reminders to pay bills, your paycheck hitting your bank account; you didn't waver. you did what you vowed to do for the next days, weeks, or maybe the next thirty years: waiting. for something. anything.

honey's taglist! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა: @gongyoosgf @infinetlyforgotten

[buuniebaby]

sex tape headcons 😉😉

PRETTY ON CAMERA 🎀 HAMZAH X READER

includes: rough sex, sex tapes, choking, fem!reader, ft sex, unprotected sex

wordcount: 2.2k

as much as hamzah hates to admit it, he loves being on camera - and that doesn’t stop at just youtube videos.

despite the promise to himself he made mental note of in high school to never send nudes, it’s become his new addiction. he loves to show off every inch of himself to you, he loves the praise you give in response to seeing his body, and he especially loves knowing that he can make you go feral with a simple video.

on a similar note, he fucking adores seeing you on camera. he likes the way you get shy when being recorded, whether the audience is slushies or it’s a video just for him. he’s obsessed with the pretty lingerie you wear for him and the way your tiny hands caress your body while you think of him. it makes him want to fucking destroy you.

ever since you two have gotten into the habit of filming videos for each other, it’s almost like something’s awoken inside of him. an urge of sorts, to make a fantasy he’s kept bottled up forever real. he wants both of you on camera, together. however, there’s one problem preventing him from asking:

hamzah is a pussy.

but thankfully, you’re just as horny as he is nervous.

the topic doesn’t actually come up until a day where your boyfriend is particularly needy. he’s sleeping over at martin’s tonight - a little too long without you for his liking.

fortunately for him, martin and mandy had forgotten to get a few items for their next video, so he had a bit of alone time. as soon as they’re out the door, his shirt is pulled off and he’s facetiming you.

as your phone buzzes to life, you’re snapped out of your doomscrolling session, wearing just one of hamzah’s large hoodies and a pair of panties. you smirk a bit at the sight of his contact popping up on your screen and sit up.

“hi, baby.” he says, voice deep. “I miss you.”

“i miss you too,” you reply back, in a more light tone. “but ill be with you tomorrow..” you say, smirking. you’ve got the same idea as him.

“are martin and mandy home?” you ask. as much as you want hamzah right now, you really don’t want to deal with the consequences of his best friend overhearing you two.

“nah, they left a little while ago.. forgot to buy some stuff for the video. ..soo, I have you all to myself.” he says, smirking.

“yeah?” you lean into the camera, doe eyes sparkling up at him.

“yeah. y’know, I missed hearing your voice, baby. it’s enough to get me hard.” he mutters, voice deep and breathy. it only makes you want him more.

you can only bring yourself to reply with a simple, “mhmm?” as your hands reach into your panties.

“yeah.. fuck. get that fucking hoodie off too. wanna see all of you.” he mutters back. you can tell he’s touching himself now too.

immediately, the hoodie is on the floor, bare chest exposed to the camera. hamzah takes this as an opportunity to change his position as well, camera giving you a direct view of him laying on his bed, sweatpants pulled down as he grinds his cock into a pillow.

“fuck, miss those tits. you want that? my mouth on them?” he says, breathing heavy.

you moan at this, grinding down into your fingers - they aren’t nearly his size, but it’s the best you can do for right now.

“yes, fuck- keep talking.” is all you can utter out.

“yeah? wish this pillow was your pretty little pussy, you know that? wish you were right here right now-“ he chokes, “fucking rutting in this pillow, just wish it was you, baby.” the visual of his hips thrusting, starting to get desperate paired with his words is destroying you, but the next thing he says is what really does it.

“gonna fill you up when I get back home. gonna pump my come into you, until you can’t take it anymore - fuck.”

fuck.

you see his hips twitch as you bite your fist, seemingly both close to finishing. you can hear a faint “shit- shit.” from the other side of the camera, and with that, you feel yourself finish all over your fingers. just as you’re done, you see hamzah’s thrusts pause as he takes a breath, and you can only guess that he just came as well.

after both collecting your breath, you mutter out a simple, “wish we were together. instead of facetime, we could just like, record it.” he continues to lay down, still recovering, but once he actually processes what you just said he perks up.

“wait.. like, actually? you’d do that?” he asks eagerly, eyes slightly widening.

“I mean.. I wouldn’t ever post it or anything. just like.. something to watch when you’re not here. only if you’re comfortable though.” you casually reply, and suddenly he’s already hard again.

“im very comfortable. incredibly comfortable with that actually.” he says, excitedly, and it makes you giggle.

“get your camera charged for tomorrow then.” you say, a sly smile forming. you’re enjoying the way you have a hold on him. “oh- and make sure you bring a new sd card, not the one you use for filming. i have a feeling we’re gonna make a lot of footage.”

“yes ma’am,” he says, making a salute sign with his hands. even when he’s bricked, he knows exactly how to make you laugh.

hamzah is counting down the minutes until he gets to see you when the next day comes. martin and mandy are even shocked at his eagerness to get out of the house, joking that he hates them now.

after what feels like the longest drive he’s ever taken, hamzah arrives home. he’s speeding through the door, into the living room, only to see you’re nowhere to be found; that is, until he checks his bedroom.

he slowly opens the door to a sight he never wants to forget - you’re sprawled out on his bed, baby pink lingerie barely covering your body, as you fix your hair in your phone camera. the sound of the door creaking open catches your attention, and you look up at him with those big, sparkly deer eyes. you giggle at his mouth, jaw dropped at the sight of you. “missed me?”

“fuck, yes.” is all he can mutter as he crawls onto the bed beside you, pulling the camera out of his backpack and then carelessly tossing the rest of his stuff off the bed. he pulls you into a sloppy kiss, immediately making up for the time he was gone.

you breathlessly manage to pull him off of you. giggling, you whine, “hamzahh, you haven’t even started recording yet.”

“shit- forgot.” he grabs the camera and fumbles with it for a second, then places it on the side of the bed. you see a red light go off as he pulls you into another kiss.

your lips trace his as your tiny hands find their way to the bottom of his sweatshirt, pulling it off to reveal nothing underneath. he begins to undress you as well, big hands carefully tracing the dainty lace as he pulls it off you. he leans down to put his mouth on one of your tits, suckling on it like a newborn baby. one of his hands goes to the neglected breast, and the other to grip your neck. you gasp as his strong, veiny hands wrap around you, taking your breath away.

he pulls away from your chest, leaving you panting. you can see him mess with the strings of his sweatpants until they’re untightened, then pull them down, showing his erection through his boxers.

“hamzah…” is all you can say. he’s the only thing on your mind right now.

“baby..” he mutters back.

his strong hands push you back into the bed, laying you down. you look up at him, confused, watching him get closer to your face. he caresses your cheek for a second, moving your hair out of your eyes.

“so pretty.. my girl.” he mutters, love in every word that comes out of his mouth.

he gently palms himself through his boxers before slowly pulling out his cock. all you can do is stare at his dick, precum glistening from the tip. he drags it across your lips, and by instinct, you open your mouth. you lap at it, gently, but hamzah has a different idea.

“open.” is all hamzah says before suddenly, his whole cock is down your throat. you make a shocked sound, but then settle to the feeling of the shaft’s intrusion. he starts slow, but begins to thrust in and out of your mouth rapidly, giving you small breaks when he pulls out for air.

“so fucking hot.. feels so wet around me..” he groans, using your face as his own personal pocket pussy for the camera. the sounds of your gagging only turns him on more, hips stuttering as he thrusts.

“mhmm, mhn, mmgh- fuck! fucking- perfect little throat, all mine, my perfect girl-“ he says as you feel a twitch from inside your mouth. his hips stutter as he cums down your throat, with a “god- all mine. fuckkk.”

as he slowly slides his cock out of your mouth, his fluids coat the outside of your lips. he grabs the camera, showing it your face. you stick your tongue out, showing the lack of cum in your mouth. he pets your cheek again, deep voice muttering a “good girl, swallowing it all for me.” all you can do is give the camera a fucked-out smile.

hamzah repositions you two so you’re sitting in his lap, the camera facing your ass. you kiss him, sloppy, already feeling drunk off of the feeling of his cock fucking your mouth. as the two of you make out, he grips your ass, moving your hips against his lap. he pulls his sweatpants and boxers all the way down, making the connection skin-to-skin.

he lets out shaky breath before he grinds his bare cock against your pussy a few more times. “you’re gonna be the fucking death of me.” is what he mutters before sliding in, exhaling a loud, “fuckkk” with it.

your ass bounces on top of him, making a loud “plap” sound every time you sink down onto his pelvis. his strong hands grasp onto your hips and lift your body up and down as he thrusts into you in unison. his hips speed up as do yours, until you’re panting on top of his cock, desperately making any kind of friction.

“ah- ah- ahh- fuck!” you whimper with each thrust, only making hamzah get more aggressive. he feels your cunt tighten around him, and thrusts as deep as he possibly can while you cum.

hamzah lets out a deep, breathy laugh as you nuzzle into his shoulder. he rubs your back gently, but then whispers a soft, “i still need to cum again, baby.”

you perk up again, preparing yourself for round 2, but hamzah is already manhandling you into place. he maneuvers you into all fours on the bed, then grabs the camera.

he records as he slides the tip of his cock against your pussy, then shoves his cock inside you. you let out a loud gasp at the intrusion. he uses the other hand to pull on your hair, aggressively yanking your head back, making you look him in the eyes.

“want you to beg for it-“ he says, out of breath, “beg for my cum.”

“mhmm.. please.. need it hamzah!” you say, whimpering and whining as your cunt tightens around his cock. he’s animalistic, thrusting into you like it’s the last time he’ll ever see you.

“more.. fuck- more, baby. need to hear you while I cum.” he says.

“please hamzah, I need it, I need your cum inside me so bad. fuck- ruin me- ahhh, breed me!” you whine out, shaking from the way he pounds you. you groan as you feel him cum inside, seed filling you up and making you feel whole.

hamzah turns off the camera and puts it off to the side, still inside you. he doesn’t move, just lays on top of you, pressing soft kisses to your back.

“love you..” he mutters, “so fucking much.”

you softly whine back, face still pressed into the mattress. he slowly pulls out, his cum buried so deep inside of you nothing even leaks out. you try to sit up, but hamzah pushes you back down. “hold on- there’s.. one more thing i want to do.”

you look back at him, confused, and watch him as he grabs the camera and starts recording your ass. he slowly spreads your folds open, and after a second, cum begins to drip out. a quiet “fuck..” is all he can mutter, watching his seed drip out of his baby.

once hamzah is done being mesmerized by the way his cum leaks out of you, he lays back down and immediately wraps his arms around you, gently caressing your body, staring at you with all the love in the world.

“i love you too,” you tiredly murmur.

“huh?”

“you said i love you earlier.. so do i. i love you.”

he smiles at you for a second, then places a soft kiss on your forehead. “love you too, baby.”

thank u for reading!! SEND REQUESTS i fear we r in a hamzah drought.. 😞 but ill try to get them out quick mwah thank u baii

[wibben]

As Stars Go By

You and Choso thoroughly enjoy your first vacation together up in the mountains.

↳ pairing: boyfriend! choso kamo x afab! reader

↳ warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, sub! choso, sex (p in v), creampie, breeding if you squint, choso is a real sweetie pie, established relationship, whimpering, pathetic male mess! choso, art by @/yume041624

↳ wc: 7,233

↳ notes: this was posted on my ao3 quite a while ago, but I've finally decided to make my first foray into tumblr! So this is a cross post but nonetheless I hope you enjoy, and bear with me while I figure this whole thing out <3 tagging: @jasminelee324 , @verydreamerfairy I hope I did that right, feeling a bit grandma-esque here.

“—You were right, it’s kinda cold, huh—”

“—let me take you inside—”

“— like hell we’re going inside already.”

You press yourself closer to Choso's side, knees hiked up to your chest as you lean into the warmth of his arm. The uneven bumps of the grass beneath the picnic blanket serve as the perfect excuse to nestle even closer, shifting your weight onto your hip and burrowing into his flank so that you’re pointedly squished hip to hip. Glued, unmoving, decidedly not going inside.

This trip had been in the making for a while—a sweet escape to a cabin in the mountains. The epitome of rustic charm , complete with an authentic outdoor shower, access to a serene lake at the foot of your mountain retreat, miles of scenic hiking trails, and an unparalleled view of the stars. Each detail meticulously planned, every moment a step closer to this perfect getaway that you’ve been dreaming of for months.

It was going to be perfect. A slice of heaven on earth, really. The antithesis of the bustling city you both so desperately needed a break from.

The only problem?

You envisioned this place in the summer to properly enjoy your itinerary. Instead, you now watch as blue frost ensnares dew-kissed blades of grass around your blanket, winter’s chill stealthily settling around you and clouding your breath with every disgruntled exhale.

A booking error, they told you. A glitch in the system; but not to worry. You weren’t eligible for a refund, but you were welcome to reschedule—if you didn’t mind the year and a half long waitlist for another chance to disappear from the world together.

But you minded. A lot . You spent too long coordinating this trip. Time off and away from the usual commitments that chain you to everyday life, the mental ticking countdown to the day you finally get to leave. You couldn’t bear to push it off; and you would rather die than see the kicked-puppy look on Choso’s face if you were forced to tell him your vacation was canceled. You and Choso were going on vacation, and that was final—sacrificing a few toes to the cold was a small price to pay.

The outdoor shower was out of the question, and so was the lake, half-slush and uninviting. But the stars? Those weren’t going anywhere.

“I kind of forgot stars existed,” you muse softly.

Choso hums in acknowledgment beside you, his hand rubbing firmly up and down your arm, generating a fire-starting friction to keep you warm. 

You continue. “It's like... all the planes, and towers, and cars back home, y'know? I swear—when I was a kid, I saw them every night. Not really sure when they disappeared. I don’t think I ever noticed, never mind really missed it until now. You know?” With your head resting against his shoulder, you can feel the slow rise and fall of his chest, hear the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear. It makes you feel warmer too, even if only just.

The silence that follows is a comfortable, familiar companion. Choso has always been a man of few words, but you know he listens intently to every word you say, his attention filling the gaps louder than anything he could speak. It just makes the things he does say all the more profound when he finally does say them.

“I’ve never seen the stars before.”

You can always trust Choso to say something unintentionally heartbreaking. You already knew this, knew he never had the opportunity to see them with his whole life spent under smoggy light-polluted skies, but hearing him say it so matter-of-factly without any regret or longing, so unperturbed by his lack of experiences, bothers you . It makes you all the more determined to fill his empty chalice with more memories than it can possibly hold; to leave it and him overflowing with a life well and truly lived.

“Well they’re pretty, right?” You needle.

“They are,” he agrees, and his arm tightens around your shoulder, drawing you even closer into the firm curvature of his body. 

“But you are beautiful—” “— I am cold —”

Choso chuckles, the sound low and melodic as he slips off his jacket and wraps it over your shoulders, pre-warmed with the heat of him and you smile, so utterly besotted, as you draw his sleeve up to your mouth to cover the saccharine dripping of your happiness.

“There,” he murmurs, and you can feel his lips press gently against your temple, brushing aside your hair with the spun bow of his smile. “Beautiful, and less cold.”

Your laughter is warm and fond, like air slowly escaping from a balloon, releasing the swell of adoration inside your ribcage before it makes you burst. “You’ve gotten good at that,” you tease.

You can almost feel the slow furrow of Choso’s brow without looking, the way the left side wrinkles just a bit more than the right, his mouth forming a curious frown. Innocently, he asks, “Good at what?”

You love that expression—the thoughtful curiosity, always eager to learn something new, even about himself, because it’s a reflection of how you see him in a mirror he could never hold. With a grin on your face, you tilt your head back to gaze up at him, and your heart promptly swoops down to your diaphragm and crashes straight through it.

His eyes are cast up at the stars, eyelids pulled back so far they’re almost lost in the exhausted bruises of his sockets. The way they reflect the stars above, it's as if each tiny distant light is captured and magnified within them, turning his dark irises into shimmering cosmos of their own. You see constellations in the depths of his wide gaze, entire universes dancing just for you—and you couldn’t be more lost in orbit if you launched yourself directly into the stratosphere.

You're grateful for the rush of blood that warms your frozen cheeks as you stare openly, every beat of your heart directing more heat up to your face. The moonlight bathes his face in a gentle glow, turning his hair into strands of liquid mercury. Each one catches the light, shimmering threads of pure moonbeam woven into his skull. He looks almost otherworldly, a celestial being come down to earth to grace you with as divine a gift as his warm jacket—

Feeling the weight of your gaze, his attention is reeled downward. The macrocosm held within his eyes shifts, now focusing solely on you, and you feel as if you’re the very center of that universe now. It was so easy for him to look away from the breathtaking sight of the stars up above you—because as far as Choso’s concerned, you were the one who hung them there.

“Good at what?” Choso repeats, seeming oblivious to the almost religious experience you just underwent simply by looking at him—he wants an answer. He’s curious.

Suddenly, your intention of teasing him feels so utterly withered. Dead on arrival to your tongue that you almost can’t bring yourself to say it because of just how sincere it feels now. You chuckle sheepishly, seeking escape in the milky way above you but finding yourself drawn back into his gravity instead with a slow sloping smile. “Being all… romantic, ” you mutter. You were cold only moments ago, but the blush on your face keeps you toasty now.

His eyes widen slightly, a look of innocent surprise washing over his face. "Really?"

You nod. "Yeah, really."

Choso beams, and your mind almost short-circuits at how devastatingly beautiful it makes him. You’d think the blood rushing to your head might power your brain, make it easier to think, but it does the exact opposite; it boils you dumb, leaving your skull little more than a soupy bone bowl.

Without thinking—because how could you really? —you lean up and kiss him gently to taste that sweet smile of his.

It’s Choso’s turn to flatline then as your lips brush his, warm and firm with just enough give for him to want to sink into you forever. No matter how familiar the sensation or how many times you kiss him, he isn’t used to it. He might never be used to it. He hopes he never will be. 

When you pull away, he makes a small noise of complaint, a soft whimper that tugs a fine red thread connected directly between your thighs. His eyes, wide and vulnerable, chase after your lips, his body moving on instinct until he's tentatively leaning over you. There’s a raw, unspoken need in his gaze that makes your breath falter.

He pauses, his forehead resting against yours, his breath clouding white and breathing him directly into your lungs as you inhale each other's cold vapor. “...Wanna kiss you,” he whispers, his voice tinged with a soft plea that makes your abdomen tighten.

You reach up, your fingers threading through his hair, gleaming like spun silver and breaking free dark commas that hang messily over his forehead. His brow pinches in a look that almost spells confusion—a familiar expression of utter bafflement at how badly he needs to feel you. He’s experienced much more with you, felt you, tasted you, had you in every way that matters, but somehow a simple kiss always galvanizes his desire like nothing else.

His lips find yours again, more insistent this time as his tongue dips into you. You gasp as he moans at the taste of your mouth, your fingers tangling into the roots of his loose hair, holding your celestial deity willingly captive to your body; tied through fingers rather than Promethean chains.

He shivers against the feel of your nails on his scalp, spurring him to bear down on you further with a needy groan. All at once, Choso’s ardor is a palpable, desperate thing. His hand roams your back, bunching his jacket in his fist but not daring to slip beneath, only pressing you closer to him. Even with that barrier, his touch scalds you, making you arch up at his insistence, molding against his hovering chest with your arms slung around his shoulders for support.

Your lips part for a moment, your nose wedged against his as you catch your breath. You both sink so seamlessly deep into each other that its an effort not to get lost completely, though between the two of you, it’s always Choso who has a harder time clawing his composure back; displayed by the displeased whine that escapes his throat before he pulls you back in with a gentle but insistent push against your lower spine.

You move with the gesture, your body turning fluid against his as you roll over, straddling him now as he lays flat on the blanket. Your hands brace against the firm planes of muscle that band his chest, fingers splayed as if to feel and grab and claim all of him at once, and god —it’s never quite enough. You crash into him again, ruled by gravity, only you don’t know which of you is the object and which is the ground, only that a collision was inevitable. 

Choso’s hands shake as they slide to your hips, pinning you against his waist as your tongue thrusts back into his mouth and you were loath to ever have left it. His lips seal around yours, hungry as he sucks on your tongue with a wanton moan swallowed directly into your mouth and your teeth bare in a victorious grin. 

His hand cups the back of your neck, hesitant and unsure despite the number of times you’ve told him he can be much firmer with you. In reprimand you nip his lower lip between your teeth. Choso gasps, his hips automatically bucking up into you to smash his straining cloth-covered cock into your crotch—the sudden sensation only making him whine again, wrenching his lips from yours with a flustered gasp. 

He hadn’t realized how turned on he was just from this. Hadn’t felt it until you did, and suddenly he’s mortified, frozen and statuesque as he tries and fails to will himself soft.

“S–sorry. ‘msosorry– '' He chokes, and now he’s caught your blush like it's something contagious. You can feel his cock jump beneath you, hard and urgent, a wordless plea that has your stomach immediately tightening in response, like your insides have been gripped in an iron fist and twisted.  

You’ve never once had to question whether Choso wants you or not. He’s never been subtle, and he’s never tried to be. It’s flattering in a way that instantly thrusts your brain into the realm of reciprocity, your own desire pooling hot and slick between your thighs, making you acutely aware of just how much you need him too.

His eyes, wide and dark, gaze up at you with a need that makes you feel like a goddess descended from the heavens, and you grin, all luminous teeth and coy intent. “What’re you sorry for?” you whisper, hovering nose to nose as your hips chase his back to the ground.

“I–” He swallows, the pretty dusted blush on his cheeks darkens, the night sky painting him in shades of monochrome, but you know just how red he can get. He shakes his head, but his fingers don’t move from your hips; if anything, he holds tighter. As if there was a chance in hell of you disappearing.

“You…?” You press coyly, to which Choso groans in breathless exasperation. And because he’s taking too long for your liking, you decide to encourage him with a slow, rolling grind against the pinned tent in his pants. He stiffens—both his cock and his entire body going rigid before his head thumps back against the ground wordlessly.

Choso’s lower lip trembles, and you so badly want to sink your teeth into it. “Don’t tease me…” he whispers pleadingly, his mouth curving into that awkward smile you know and love.

And god, do you love him. So much so, that you decide to be merciful…a move that might seem altruistic, if your own panties weren’t thoroughly soaked and sticking and in desperate need of removal. Your mercy is just as much for yourself as your shoulders roll, starting to shrug off his jacket—

Choso’s eyes widen and his hands fly from your hips to your shoulders, catching the garment before it can fall. The move was so sudden that it surprises you, making you recoil and sit deeper into his lap. Choso’s eyes flutter and he clenches his jaw with a grunt, but he shakes his head. “What are you doing?”

You blink down at him, a slow and confused smile building on your lips. “I–I thought…do you not want to —?”

“ Oh —I do. Very bad. But we–we can’t out here.” Choso tugs the jacket back up, pulling it tight in front of you.

“Cho–there’s nobody around for miles. Maybe…maybe raccoons or something, but—”

“You’ll get cold,” he interrupts resolutely. His brow is set low over his eyes, stubborn and unyielding. “I don’t want you to be cold.”

You can’t imagine ever feeling cold again with how warm you feel now. Your heart swells with affection, and you smile, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “I’ll be fine,” you reassure him. But his hands remain on your shoulders, firm and insistent, and you realize he’s serious.

“Choso…”  you murmur, your voice a seductive purr that sends a visible shiver down his spine. You delight in the way that the mere sound of his name rolling off your tongue makes his body soften and tremble. “Do you want to take me …” You let your words trail off as your hand drifts down over his chest, lingering suggestively just above his navel. Your fingers trace a teasing path lower, slow and unashamedly provocative, “…inside?"

As if your words were a trigger and he was waiting for you to say exactly that, Choso reacts with breathtaking speed, scooping you up effortlessly and throwing you over his shoulder. His grip on your thighs is firm, unyielding, and you let out a surprised squeal, heart pounding as he strides toward the cabin without hesitation, carrying you as if you weighed nothing.

You laugh, half in shock and half in delight, as he practically kicks the door open and steps inside with you. He doesn’t bother with the stairs or even look for a bedroom. Instead, his eyes dart around the entryway, searching for something, anything, to set you on. He zeroes in on a tall table in the foyer, decorated with knick knacks—a bronze statue bust of a deer, a small clock, and other rustic-y decor items.

Evidently, this will just have to do. He sets you down on the table with a bit more force than intended, your butt thumping solidly against the lacquered wood. Trinkets scatter, your body sweeping them aside like a battering ram and knocking the fragile clock dangerously close to the edge. The table wobbles slightly under your weight, sturdy but clearly not meant for this kind of use.

Choso stands between your knees, nudging them apart with his thighs as his long, cold fingers cup your face with a tenderness that wholly departs from his urgency. His lips crash against yours for a second time in a searing kiss, full of raw need and longing. He moans quietly into your mouth, the sound vibrating straight through you like a knife to the gut.

He grinds himself against you, his cock hard and throbbing beneath his clothes as he presses between your legs. The movement is subconscious on his part, an instinctive need for friction that his body knows exactly where to find even with his brain being too addled to seek it. You can’t help but respond encouragingly, your hips moving to meet him with a firm upward swipe of your pussy—as much as you can while pinned like a taxidermied butterfly to the table.

Choso groans, his focus shoved even closer to the abyssal edge of total composure loss. He isn’t sure what to do with his hands. He wishes so badly that he had more of them. To hold your face, to rip your clothes off like a wild animal, to encourage your hips against him harder if he were to be so bold. But he only has two hands, and he isn’t bold, just eager. So eager is he that his hands frenzy over your body, everywhere and nowhere all at once, making you laugh low and husky against his lips. 

His hand tangles in your hair but is quick to leave it, moving instead to cup your jaw but no–that isn’t quite right either. From your jaw, to your neck, then to your spine, and he groans and shakes his head at his own indecision. Not enough hands. He finally pulls the jacket from your body and tosses it to the floor.

“Too many layers…” he mutters. But the removal of those layers…that does something more for him. 

So he makes a choice. Clothes off. Clothes off is good.

His hands fly from your face down to the hem of your shirt, tugging at it without ceremony or preamble. You raise your arms above your head to help, but his refusal to part his lips from yours makes the task harder. The shirt gets stuck beneath your chin, rucked up over your breasts, and he growls, forced to pull away just to finish the job.

You giggle as he steps back, helping you wrestle your shirt over your arms where it catches, momentarily blinding you. Eventually, he frees it from your body, and as it falls away, you catch Choso's flushed face in the flickering orange light of the fire. He stands there, gazing at you, almost transfixed.

He’s seen you shirtless before. He's mapped every inch of your body with his hands and his mouth like a blind man reading braille. But without fail, the visual of your shirtless body, breasts heaving with each forceful breath, leaves him completely stunned. He stands there, frozen and sedated, as if he simply isn’t allowed to touch something so perfect. Like you should be kept high up on a shelf somewhere, not down here with the likes of him.

His lip wobbles needily, eyes blown wide and spun like glass as he drinks you in like he might never see you again. With a sure smile you reach behind you to unclip your bra with deft fingers, and the sight of the fabric falling away from your skin as if in slow motion snaps Choso’s restraint like a toothpick.

You watch as Choso yanks his shirt off too, shoulders hunching forward to slip it off over his head and he’s back on you in the same breath. There’s no quiet moment for you to drink in the sight of his tightened abs or his broad, tense shoulders trembling. He’s almost selfish in his consumption of you, taking and giving nothing back, though not intentionally. He's simply impatient, unapologetically needy.

His tongue plunges desperately into your mouth, sloppy and squirming, as he presses his chest against yours, craving your warmth and sandwiching your breasts between your bodies as he molds to you. Your nipples graze against his pecs, tripping the sharp wire that sends electric jolts of pleasure straight to your clit. You inhale sharply, sucking the oxygen straight from his mouth in a greedy gasp.

Instead of returning to his mouth, your lips veer to the side, trailing fire as you plant open-mouthed kisses along the sharp line of his jaw and down his throat. You scatter pretty roses along Choso’s collar bone with sharp nips of your teeth, quickly soothing the thorny sting with your tongue. 

His head falls back, shoulders taut and quivering, his lips parted so prettily that you’d love to slip your fingers between them, if your hands weren’t already occupied tugging at the waistband of his pants. Your fingers tease the edge, your pinky slipping just underneath and it’s as if you’ve just reminded him— oh, right, he wanted your clothes off.

His hands are a flurry of movement again, batting yours away in his haste to reach you. He grips your pants, pulling hard . With one hand clinging to his shoulder and the other to the edge of the table for stability on its increasingly unstable surface, you raise your hips. "Wait-..." but you're too slow.  Choso is as strong as he is predictably impatient, and he tears your pants from your body with an explosive rip. You gasp, and he sheepishly mumbles, "Sorry," though he isn’t sorry at all. In fact, if you never wore pants again, they wouldn’t get in the way and he wouldn't be forced to tear them off you.

You laugh exasperatedly as he takes a half step back, his fingers digging into the fabric of his pants with such urgency that his briefs come down with them. The sight makes you practically salivate . His cock springs free, red and ready, smacking against his stomach which concaves as he hisses, shying away from the sudden contact with himself. It bobs back down, horizontal and already pearled with pre-cum.

“You’re so pretty—”

“—Sah…–says you—” Choso objects bashfully, all but tripping over himself to close the meager distance he created between you. He reaches for your hip at the same moment your fingertips skim his waist and he squeaks adorably, his hips impulsively thrusting forwards. 

His thighs hit the edge of the table, and the weeping head of his cock rams against your clit, making your vision streak with stars as you yelp and jolt forward. The table rattles and sways with a sense of impending collapse, but Choso is quicker. His arm scoops behind your waist, lifting you clear of the danger, and in a flash, he ducks, his hand shooting out to catch the teetering clock before it crashes to the floor.

You blink owlishly at him, then burst into laughter as the tension diffuses like morning mist. The galloping of your heart from the near collapse settles into a gentler rhythm, your life no longer flashing before your eyes, yet still stirred by being held in his arms. Choso grins awkwardly, taking a moment to gently place the clock back on the table.

“Nice,” you snicker, legs wrapping around his waist and leaning into his neck, nipping at the junction of his shoulder.

“Thank y–mmph-! ” Choso’s gasp and appreciative moan of your name curls from his chest outwards, muffled by his face burrowing into your shoulder. His cock jerks upward, a long string of pre-cum dripping from the tip and stringing down to the floor. He could just drop you right down onto his cock and make you scream his name and twitch in his arms and neither of you would ever pull apart again, he’d fuck his cum into you over and over and over and anytime it leaks out he can just replace it—

“—guh–gotta find somewhere–somewhere better for you. Better than–ah–a table— ”

You hum approvingly, nosing along the flushed pillar of his throat and trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the same path. Your lips and tongue worship his skin. Lost in the haze of need, you barely register where he’s taking you. You hardly clock that you’re being moved at all.

Choso moves quickly but slowly enough to support his precious cargo. He’s been so accident prone, and now he’s scared to trip or bump you into a wall or accidentally sneeze and bury himself inside you —

With a grunt he suddenly drops to the floor in the center of a fluffy rug in the main room, legs crossed with his ankles pinned beneath his knees, settling you in the gap created with your legs still locked behind his waist. 

The fire crackles beside you, hot and flickering and smoky. You reel back in his lap and his hands slide up your sides to support you, gripping and caressing up and down your spine. His forehead tilts to thunk against yours, the fire playing in his eyes in a way that makes you feel weak-kneed.

Choso murmurs your name, adoring and dreamy. “So pretty,” he praises, “— sososo pretty—”

He starts to rock the underside of his cock against your pussy, his brows knitting as his head drops against your shoulder, lips parted and panting over your skin. Your folds part around his shaft, his head snagging against your clit before cresting all the way through. You squeak, reflexively pressing yourself more insistently against him. 

He does it again, his entire body tense and hard with the concentration it takes to exercise patience. You deserve patience, to feel good and cum again and again, and he’s determined to be the one to make it happen. He shudders, his tongue poking out from between clenched teeth, nodding to himself in silent declaration. But that careful restraint is flimsy at best, sorely tested with each shallow drag. His cock returns shinier and wetter, the friction driving him to the brink until he’s gripped wholly by the need to have you .

Desperate for distraction, Choso’s hands roam eagerly over your breasts, squeezing with a blend of urgency and reverence. A low, needy moan escapes him, his lips hovering before his tongue flicks out to tease your nipple. He captures it in his mouth, sucking gently, each pull sending ripples of pleasure radiating through you. You arch into him, breath hitching as a soft moan escapes. The sensation of your body pressing against his elicits a deep, primal groan from him, vibrating against your skin. His free hand caresses your other breast, rolling and pinching your nipple with growing confidence, his touches more assured and deliberate.

With each slow roll of his hips you can feel every exquisitely familiar detail. Thick and firm, with a pronounced upward curve that rubs perfectly against your sensitive bud. The veins along his length pulse with engorging blood—you’re shocked he’s even lasted this long without begging to be inside you. But he wants tonight to be special. You’re on a trip, together, for the first time and he wants to be good for you. Every grind and thrust feels electric, his cock divinely crafted to drive your burgeoning craving to new heights.

Choso moans and dislodges from your nipple, his lips leaving a slick, magmatic trail as he moves upward. His hand snakes down to grip the base of his weeping length, squeezing it hard as he manually drags it between your puffy folds. The sensation makes him shudder, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment before he looks at you, his gaze pleading and desperate.

"–oh my– fffuck –" he babbles, his voice shaky with need. "I'm sorry, I... I need you so bad. In – inside…please. " He whispers, his hips bucking involuntarily as his cock slides against you, the tip catching on your entrance before he drags it back along your clit. You mewl and clutch at his shoulders the sound alone is almost too much for him to bear. "Please," he begs again, his eyes locked onto yours, almost teary.

The fire pops loudly beside you, a stick collapsing into ash in the brick tray, and with it, your restraint burns away. You nod, your voice a raspy plea, " Please —don't tease me." The scent of him mingled with the burning wood makes your head swim. The tables have turned, and you now find yourself on the other side from where you began. But Choso would never tease you, not like you would him—his need is too great, his desire to obey you too strong. Your voice when you beg is lovely, but god he wants to make you sing.

He presses his thumb against his cockhead, gasping as white-hot pleasure courses through him, the pad of his finger immediately slick with arousal. He pushes it down, notching against your entrance, his breath hitching. “ Gon–gonna make you feel good, ” he asserts shakily, his voice thick with need. “ Gonna try— ” At the same moment, his arm wraps behind your waist, pulling your body to him. He rocks his hips up and forward, the head of his cock slipping inside with agonizing slowness.

Your breath catches, a moan escaping your lips as he fills you, every inch stretching and teasing. Choso's muffled cry vibrates against your shoulder as he buries his face there, his teeth sinking into your skin. You clutch at him, nails digging into his back, urging him deeper. The sensation is electric, overwhelming, and you arch into him, your breath mingling with his as you stare downward at the connection of your bodies.

You watch with an almost voyeuristic fascination as every inch and vein slowly disappears inside you. The sensation is overwhelming—every ridge and curve of his cock stretching you perfectly, filling you with a heat that borders on unbearable. Choso's breath is a series of ragged, desperate gasps. His eyes narrow to hot-whiskey slits that are caught between wanting to watch and needing to look away as he fights to maintain a very fragile sense of control. His teeth sink into the plush of his lower lip, almost hard enough to break through the satin-soft skin.

When he's about halfway in, he stops, tense and quivering, his cock pulsing inside you. "Oh god...fuck, you feel so good—I’m sorry, I can't—I just...shit, you're perfect...I'm so sorry—I need...I need this." He babbles, his words an unconscious stream of desire and apology. His body shakes with the effort of holding back, every other word punctuated by a shallow, needy thrust.

Your velvety walls clench around him, drawing a whimper from his lips as he grips your hips with bruising strength. "I’m sorry—can’t wait," he gasps, his voice trembling. With a sharp, desperate thrust, he buries himself fully inside you, the sudden fullness making you gasp, nails raking down his back as you cry out in bliss.

Once fully inside, Choso’s body relaxes, his tension melting away as if he’s finally home. His breath steadies, the frantic urgency pacified and giving way to a deep, consuming need for more. No longer driven by desperation, he seeks to savor every moment, to make this last, cherishing the sensation of being completely enveloped by your wet heat.

He pulls back slightly, the slow drag of his cock against your slick walls making both of you shudder, sweat springing up along your throat. His hands, no longer gripping you with bruising force, now glide gently over your skin, caressing, exploring. His eyes meet yours, filled with a tender intensity that takes your breath away. “I love you. You know I love you?” he whispers, his voice soft, and so so grateful.

His hips move with a slow, deliberate rhythm, each thrust deep and measured, designed to draw out every pleasurable quiver he can wring from you. You moan softly, his words coiling around your brain like ivy vines and rooting deeply into the mortar. You are fluid above him, warm and malleable and so very his. Completely enthralled with the delight of being so selflessly possessed are you, that you need to possess him right back. He loves you and that feels better than anything.

Your legs coil tighter around his waist, drawing him closer, deeper. “ Mhm— ”  You lean your temple against his shoulder, a profound sense of relaxation blanketing you soul-deep, even as your body goes absolutely haywire just beneath the prickling surface of your skin.

The fire crackles beside you, casting a warm, flickering glow over your entwined bodies. When you look up at him with those adoring doe-eyes, the muscles in your stomach flex, drawing a deep grunt from Choso as he feels the sudden tightening. The flames paint his sweat-slicked skin in hues of orange, setting him ablaze. In that moment, you understand the fatal attraction of moths to a flame, feeling an irresistible pull toward the incandescent heat and the beautiful, dangerous glow of him. 

His hands brush down your sides as gently as if you were an antique vase, the same hands that tore your pants in two capable of such softness. His palms settle on your hips, kneading for a moment before curling into a gentle hold. He gives an experimental squeeze— lifting you up as he shifts back, and lowering you down as he rolls his hips up. 

You are utterly tranquil. Perched so prettily in his lap, skewered so softly on his cock and lulled with rocking pleasure so soothing you very well could sleep like this. The fire, him, surrounds you like a cocoon, a heady tonic borderline alcoholic in your placidity . It feels like sinking into a bath of milk and honey, your brain dopey and slow. But you feel his encouragement, the way he moves you up and down his length; every now and then by a stroke of chance he nudges against your sweet-spot, or his pelvis grinds just right against your clit, jolting you back to reality with a start.

It’s not enough to be an idle passenger, your body chases that instinctual high before your brain can fan away the fog. Your hips begin to rock against his in time, adjusting your angle, and as soon as you do, Choso sighs low and shakily against your ear. He holds you steady, aiding the slow oscillation of your body, encouraging your languid participation with an appreciative squeeze of his hands and a more forceful buck of his hips.

“ M’not gonna break—you…you can do more—”

At your insistence Choso groans as if he’d been waiting for permission to do exactly that. “You– yeah…oh–okay —”

His grip tightens, and ever your servant he thrusts into you harder in an effort to appease you, his movements growing more intense, more insistent. The change in pace sends waves of pleasure crashing through you, each thrust hitting deeper, each glide against your clit setting off bursts of ecstasy that makes your vision spot and rips those gorgeous little whines he cherishes straight from your chest.

Your breath hitches, and you start to meet his thrusts with equal zeal, fucking him back with newfound determination. The rhythm between you shifts, Choso’s hands sliding back from your hips to dig into the meat of your ass. His control, whatever little he had of it to begin with, starts to unravel. His eyes flutter shut, a strained moan escaping his lips. His hands, once guiding, now grip you almost helplessly, holding on as you move with increasing fervor.

Choso's brain melts under the onslaught of sensation. His thrusts become erratic, less coordinated, until finally, he forgets to participate altogether, lost in the overwhelming pleasure you’re giving him. His hands fall to the side and brace back against the floor, and he surrenders completely, letting you use him, his body yours to command.

You take full advantage of his surrender, moving with a purpose, driven by a mounting need that seems to eclipse everything else. The slick, heated slide of his cock inside you, the way your bodies meld together with each rise and fall like grafted metal in a forge, tempered and hammered into something far more beautiful than your base materials; you succumb fully to the intoxication that starts as a slow embered burn low in your belly.

Your breath comes in ragged gasps, each inhale tinged with the smoky scent of the fire, each exhale a soft moan of pleasure. The world narrows to the point of contact between you and Choso, the delicious friction, the way his length fills you so completely. Every grind against your bud is ruinous in your body, every nudge against your depths making you see stars.

Your mind feels suspended in a dreamy fog, every thought reduced to the primal, desperate need for release. You can feel your orgasm building, a tight coil of heat and pressure in your core. A garden blooms in your womb, overcome with the primitive need for it to be filled, belly round and full with Choso’s seed. But you do not care what becomes of that garden as molten heat spreads outward, burning it to ash and making your muscles tense and quiver. 

Your hips move faster, more urgently, chasing that peak, riding the wave of pleasure that threatens to consume you. You want to be consumed. Choso's moans mix with your own, his body a pliant vessel beneath you, his pleasure a mirror of your own.

And then, all at once, the coil snaps and your ears ring with a sound you only vaguely recognize as coming from your own mouth. Your orgasm crashes over you, powerful and all-consuming. Your body convulses with the force of it, muscles clenching around Choso's cock to suck him impossibly deeper as the pleasure ripples through you in intense, shuddering waves. Your vision blurs, and for a moment, you lose all sense of time and space, reduced to a primal, instinctual being driven solely by overwhelming bliss. You are something made perfect, born anew in the flood of holy fire and ecstasy. For that brief period you are nothing but stardust.

Choso’s voice breaks through the fog, a frantic litany of curses and gratitude spilling from his lips. " Fuckfuckfuck—thank you—so beautiful...oh fuck, you’re so perfect, " he babbles, his voice shaky with awe and need. The intensity of your climax has pushed him to the brink, and he’s barely holding on. His hands roam over your body, trembling with the effort to restrain himself.

His movements become erratic, driven by an almost savage pride that you came first, but now he’s desperate to find his own release. He sinks into you to the hilt, each movement filled with an urgent, raw need. The sensation of him jabbing into you, bluntly knocking on the door of your cervix prolongs your orgasm into the realm of exquisite agony.

Without warning, Choso shifts his weight, and in one fluid motion, topples you both over so you're on your back. The transition is seamless, and before you can catch your breath, he’s over you, inside you, fucking you into the floor with a relentless, desperate rhythm. The raw intensity in his eyes, the primal need driving his movements, rips your breath away before you’ve even begun to try to catch it.

Each thrust is powerful and deep, a claim and a plea all at once. You can see the strain in his muscles, feel the desperate edge to his movements as he chases his salvation in your body. The firelight casts shadows across his face, highlighting the fierce determination etched in his features. One hand grips your hip and the other flutters down your wrist to plait his fingers through yours, shakily moving it above your head to pin it to the rug.

He is wholly possessed by an uncharacteristically primal urge to take you , to etch himself into you, to rewrite your DNA with his name and be bound to you forever by something altogether greater than himself. “ Gah—gonna–gonna marry you. Haa– nngh! Have you forever— ”

Choso’s thrusts become more erratic, his breathing more ragged. " Gonna...gonna cum, " he gasps, his voice thick with needy warning. His eyes lock onto yours, a silent plea for release. And then, with a final, deep thrust, he shudders violently, his orgasm punching against his abs as he shouts and buries his face in the crook of your neck as he cums. You feel the muscles in his back bunch and tense as he spills himself inside you, each forceful contraction painting your walls with his warmth. 

His cum coats you, thick and hot, sticking inside you as he continues to move slowly, coaxing it deeper. He fucks it into you with tender, deliberate thrusts, bidding it to seep into your womb, ensuring every drop is claimed.

Choso collapses onto you like a warm, protective blanket, his weight a soothing comfort and far from oppressive. The two of you lie there entwined and spent, bodies still trembling from the aftershocks of pleasure, your skin slick with flame-licked sweat. The silence between you is broken only by your shared, labored breaths and the soft pop and crackle of the fire beside you. He doesn’t move, his body gone completely boneless, and neither do you unwilling to disturb him or yourself. The quiet wraps you both in a cocoon of tender, post-orgasmic bliss.

Eventually, you begin to rouse him with soft kisses along his jaw, your lips brushing tenderly against his skin. He laughs, a bubbly, euphoric sound that makes your heart swell. The sound is infectious, and soon you find yourself giggling too.

Choso shifts slightly, propping himself up just enough to meet your dewy gaze, his exhaustion evident in his heavy-lidded eyes warmed like melted honey. He presses his nose to yours, the touch soft and sweet, before tilting to plant the lightest of kisses on your lips, then your cheeks, then your forehead, showering you with affection and gratitude. "Can we come here every year?" he whispers hopefully.

You smile, your heart swelling with tenderness. "Every year," you promise.

[sc0tters]

Needy | Luke Hughes

summary: you and Luke have been at the lake house for a few days now and what happens when Luke realises that he can’t last as long as he thought he could with the sight of you in a bikini?

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, oral (m receiving), swearing.

word count: 1.35k

authors note: is it wrong of me to say that I totally forgot about this request..? no but seriously I had no clue how to write this prompt for anyone, especially Luke so I’ve just made him a horny teen lmao. hope you enjoy it!

Luke couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

It had been the longest week of his life at the lake house. Your outfits only seemed to comprise of your swimsuits and his shirts. He swore that he had been so well behaved keeping his hands off of you.

But there was something about the sight of you in some random unbuttoned baseball jersey -that you had of course stolen from Luke- as you ate some watermelon that you just helped Ellen cut up Luke felt himself break.

His swim trunks began to tighten as he watched the watermelon juice drip down your chin “you want some?” You asked as you pointed the piece of fruit in his direction.

Luke’s cheeks turned flushed as he thought you had caught on to what he was thinking “huh?” He coughed ignoring how you raised your eyebrows at him.

You smiled as the boy ran his fingers along your leg “asked if you wanted some of this,” you explained as you brought your lips back to the piece of fruit so that you could take a bite from it before you pointed it back at your boyfriend.

The hockey player had to pull you on to his lap before he even thought about eating that watermelon. With his brothers and their friends walking around the porch Luke couldn’t have any of them seeing the boner that he was currently sporting “Luke!” You squealed as you let out a laugh.

He brushed the hair out of your face as he let his fingers trail down to your chin “should I take that as a no?” A giggle fell from your lips as you took another bite of the fruity.

Luke couldn’t help it with he let out a groan “I want to eat something much more tasty,” he explained as he brought your lips to his own.

The kiss was needy as his tongue dragged over your lower lip causing you to groan “can I maybe not have to watch this?” Jack complained as he walked out to see that you had dropped what was left of your watermelon on the porch.

You pulled away from Luke as your cheeks turned warm “sorry,” you were quick to apologise as your hands wrapped around your boyfriend’s neck.

The middle Hughes brother gagged when his brother move his lips to your neck “could you not do this out here?” The forward whined causing Luke to smirk “wanna go for a ride?” The younger boy asked as you as he cocked his head.

You had finally caught on to what he was implying as your mouth formed an o shape “Luke!” You gasped as you slapped your hand over your mouth.

Thankfully for him Jack had walked away fearing that he would hear anything more “I’m not letting you fuck me on the boat.” You shook your head letting your thighs clench around your boyfriends lap.

It made him smile “my room then? He proposed letting his fingers drag along your thigh.

Luke let out a laugh “you’re so naughty,” you whined when he placed a chaste kiss on your cheek “only for you.” The boy murmured as he moved his lips to your ear “I want you right here.” He left a kiss on the shell of your ear “right now.” That was when you knew he had won.

The mental coin toss was one that you had given up on minutes ago “let’s go upstairs then.” You mumbled as you grabbed his hand trying to pull him up.

It stroked Luke’s ego like there was no tomorrow “now you’re the one who’s eager.” He teased you as the two of you made your way into the house.

The boys watched in amusement as Luke wrapped his arm around your shoulders “maybe we should go for a ride?” Cole proposed as he could tell where this was clearly going to go.

It caused you to flip him off “go get some pookie!” Trevor cheered before all of the boys followed the oldest Hughes boy out of the house.

You two barely made it into his room before he pushed you onto the bed “we should probably play something.” You gasped as your boyfriends lips went to your neck, you grabbed your phone as you tried to find a playlist that could be loud enough. Whilst everyone was out of the house you still didn’t want to be caught.

The boy nodded as he fiddled with the ends of the jersey. He loved seeing you in his clothes but he loved seeing you in even less “want you to be my good little girl.” Luke cooed when he pulled at the string of your bottoms.

You groaned as you tried to get up “got something else in mind first,” you smiled as you looked up at him due to the sheer difference in height.

It was now the hockey players turn to be confused “yeah?” He mumbled as he waited for you to continue your line of speech.

Letting your fingers run over the waist band of his swim trunks you smiled as you kissed him “seems like you’ve been thinking about this for a while,” you pointed out as you motioned down to the boner that he was currently dealing with.

All that Luke could do was nod as you pulled his shorts down “want to make you feel good,” you murmured as you dropped to your knees.

As unintentional as it might have been you truly didn’t remember the last time you gave him a blow job as you two were far more fond of actual sex rather than the foreplay, it’s what happened when you were impatient college kids.

You let your tongue provide these little kitten licks that drew a loud groan from his lips “don’t tease me please,” Luke begged as his hands wrapped around your hair bringing it into a makeshift pony tail.

He loved the way your mouth took him so well, letting your tongue swirl around his cock as you took him as far as you could.

Now of course being with Luke for two years you had learnt how to really get to him and that was what made the hockey player turn into putty in your hands.

You let your nails softly run up his legs as he gasped “you’re so perfect.” He repeated that string as he increased the speed of his thrusts.

Whilst the two of you knew that the boys were outside you really didn’t think that you were going to have long.

Part of you wanted to feel bad for him because you could see know long he had been waiting to have some kind of intimacy with you and once you swore off of doing it when Jim and Ellen were in the house Luke was glad to know that the rule did not apply when the couple went grocery shopping.

Luke knew from the moment he got upstairs that he wasn’t going to last long with whatever you two ended up doing, and the gargling noise that you were making whenever thrusted deep enough was certainly not going to help his cause “fuck baby.” He mumbled as his body began to shake.

Your favourite part about getting Luke off? That moment when you get off of your knees and show him that you’ve swallowed.

It always caused him to go weak in the knees, time and time again “c’mere.” Luke smiled as he wrapped his arms around your waist before he pulled you into a kiss.

Luke after coming was always really soft, it was one of the things you loved most about him.

But the moment between you was short lived as you heard your phone go off.

quinn: is it safe for us to come back yet?

quinn: Trevor is trying to water ski without any skis.

You let out a laugh as you showed your boyfriend the messages from his older brother.

For now it seemed like Luke was going to have to wait a little bit longer for round two.

[hugmekenobi]

Something New

A Bad Batch Post S3 Oneshot

Gif by @barissoffee

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: You have a surprise that'll help you and Hunter take a break from the stress of planning your wedding

Warnings: No use of (Y/N), references to past poisoning, little bit of teasing, some self-doubt/self-consciousness, light swearing, Smut (lingerie wearing, kissing, marking/biting, non-explicit descriptions of slightly rougher sex with unprotected P in V, kissing, reader can be lifted), we have some light fluff and feelings too

<Previous Oneshot (not totally necessary to read but helpful for build up)

Masterlist for S1,S2 and S3

Word Count: 2K

Rating: 18+

Author's note: We're back! Sorry it's been so long!! I have no excuse for this. It was just a little thing that my Hunter addled brain felt the need to include before the wedding oneshot and @decembermidnight very nicely encouraged me to do this so it happened. No pressure to read! Just needed to get it out my system before the next one lol

“Remind me again why I just spent 2 and a half hours listening to all the bands Pabu has to offer and you weren’t there?” Hunter called out tiredly but merrily enough by way of announcing his arrival back home. He loved the people here but some of them were not as talented as they thought they were, and his ears were not thanking him for his patient listening.

“Because we agreed that me reading all the wedding tradition research Tech and Omega keep sending me as well as spending a minimum of 3 hours a day getting poked and prodded by Lyra was equal to you handling the music, food and flowers.” You replied as you peeked your head round the refresher door.

“Hey, I read it too!” Hunter protested. He liked being involved in the process. It was new territory for both of you

“You read the summarised versions I put together, it’s the same as me helping you pick whatever band or flowers you’ve narrowed it down to.” You reminded him with a grin. “All about the teamwork, Sergeant.”

“Uh huh.” Hunter said with a fond roll of his eyes before he changed the subject. “Is there a reason you’re standing in there?” He asked as he casually passed by en-route to the bedroom.

“Don’t come in!” You yelped as you dashed behind the door.

“Why not?” Hunter asked but he obeyed your request and instead carried on to the bedroom.

“I have a surprise for you but now I’m chickening out.”

“Haven’t we had enough of those recently?” Hunter responded nervously. The horrible emotions and memories of your poisoning still lingered in his mind.

“This is a good surprise…” I hope. You added mentally as you stared at your reflection and worked on bringing back the confidence you’d felt ten minutes ago. “But I need you to promise me that you won’t laugh.” You requested, your voice loud enough so he could hear you.

“Why would I laugh?” He asked back, voice equally loud.

“I’m trying something new. We have been through a lot and I’m obviously not just talking about wedding planning stress, and I can only imagine the range of talent you heard today. So, I figured we need to unwind, wipe the slate clean. Hence, this surprise. But again, you cannot laugh, or I swear I’m walking outta here and all this wedding stuff comes to an end. You can marry Shep for all I care.” You threatened, obviously not meaning it but you needed him to understand that this was far out your comfort zone.

Hunter ignored your melodramatics, “What’s wrong with Shep?”

“Hunter!” You cried out through an exasperated laugh. “Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

“I understand but I do think a surprise is ruined by an explanation.” He quipped back as he took off his light layer, draped it over the dresser chair, and rolled up his sleeves as he waited for whatever it is you were talking about.

“When you’re done being a smartass, will you just promise me that you’re not going to laugh?”

“Yes, of course I promise but would you just get out here? You’re not making any se-” You appeared and suddenly he forgot how to speak. He couldn’t form the words. He couldn’t process the gorgeous image in front of him, so he was left just standing there, gawping in pure awe.

You shifted awkwardly under his intense stare and brought your arms to cover yourself self-consciously. “I can take it off if-”

“Don’t you dare.” His voice was hoarse with longing. The dark red lace lingerie set that left little to the imagination suited you and your body perfectly, emphasising ever part of you in a way that drove him crazy with need. The fact that the colour matched that of his bandana did not escape him either.

You glanced up and that was when you sensed the want flowing through him. It was reflected carnally in his eyes. You lowered your arms to your sides. “You like it then?”

All the words he wanted to say required more articulation than what his brain was currently allowing him to do so all Hunter could manage to do was nod dumbly. His hands were clenching and unclenching by his sides as he fought with himself to stay in control of his faculties. He was waiting to see how you wanted to play this.

You’d talked yourself out of doing this countless time up until this point and even tonight that feeling had still lingered but now, hearing and feeling the impact this was having on him, you began to believe it again. The growing confidence allowed you to move forward and dictate what you wanted here. Your simmering arousal grew more as you stepped towards him. “Want to show me how much?” You whispered as you placed a teasing and seductive kiss to his neck and trailed your hand down his chest, undoing a few of his shirt buttons as you did so. You could feel his heart pounding beneath your palm, and you mouthed along the tan skin that was now available to you, smiling as you heard his breaths grow more rapid and uneven. You brought your eyes back to his and waited expectantly.

Hunter didn’t need to be told twice. He dropped to his knees and placed slow, open-mouthed kisses up the inside of your thighs, sucking marks into your skin as he moved closer to where you were absorbing the softness of the material, teeth grazing the edges of the fabric.

“Hunter?” You murmured with a sensual sigh as you brought your head back from where it had fallen towards your shoulder blades and peered down at him. You caressed the side of his face with your left hand, your engagement ring proudly standing out as you moved your fingers with a tenderness that didn’t quite match the intentions you had tonight.

Hunter kissed your palm and relished in the feeling of the cool metal band against your skin as he stared up at you. He was enraptured by the sight of you and completely at your mercy.

You moved your hand to rake your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly at the ends and you smirked at the low groan he ground out at that, before you uttered a simple command without so much as opening your mouth. Fuck me.

The change in him was instantaneous. With a breath that sounded akin to a growl, he got to his feet and kissed you with an intensity to match what you were asking of him before he backed you into the wall. He didn’t miss a beat as he carried on kissing you and picked you up by the back of your thighs.

You matched the passionate strokes of his mouth with yours as you wrapped your legs around him and tangled your fingers in his shirt with a moan you felt him tight against you.  

Hunter didn’t know where to start. He wanted to worship you in the way you deserved to be but the need he had for you was overpowering and he couldn’t stop touching your lace covered skin as he kissed you with utter desperation and need.

You knew what he was holding back for but this time, you didn’t want it gentle.

You wanted it rough.

You wanted to feel him.

Your body was yearning for him, and you couldn’t wait.

You snaked your hands down between you to reach for the waistband of his trousers. I need you. I need you now, Hunter. You said as you had to pull away to draw a much inconvenient but needed breath.

That was all he needed for his lingering doubt and restraint to officially vanish. Hunter didn’t bother removing the flimsy piece of fabric, nor did he particularly want to. So, he merely moved your underwear to the side without breaking the kiss. A low, eager groan rumbled from his chest as he moved into you.

Any pain quickly morphed into pleasure, and you welcomed the sensation of feeling him in this way as he moved against you. Harder. You instructed as you kissed him and took his lip between your teeth in encouragement.

Hunter was only too happy to obey. He relished the loud, breathy groan that emitted from you as he gave you what you wanted and the way your grip on his shoulders tightened, only heightened his own desire for you.

The two of you were to wound up for this to last as long as you usually did, and you could tell by the way his movements started to stutter that he was reaching that point of ecstasy that you were careening towards too.

Hunter could feel you tightening around him, and his words left him in a frantic and breathless manner, “I’m not going to- I can’t- you need to- fuck, you feel so good.” He couldn’t even finish his train of thought. He was that caught up in the feel of you and knew he wasn’t going to last for much longer, but he refused to let you go unsatisfied.

You knew what he was requesting and brought your own hand down between you and a cry left your lips as you went tumbling towards your climax.

Hunter swallowed the precious sound from you and pressed his mouth to yours in a final, hard and fervid kiss as he allowed himself to go with you. You both fell apart together with a shared groan and for a moment, all that could be heard was the sound of the two of you working on getting your breath back.

Hunter pressed his forehead against yours. “Did I ever actually tell you how stunning you look in this?” He asked as he got his bearings back.

“I think the focus lied elsewhere.” You kidded through a tired laugh. “But I got the message without it.”

“Well, you do. I mean you always do but this, yeah, this was a nice surprise.” He said gratefully. He kissed the hollow of your throat. “I love you. You took my breath away and you look absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank you.” You uttered quietly as you stroked through the ends of his hair. “I love you too.”

“Is this what you had in mind before Skara Nal?” He asked, his voice far raspier than it typically was as he lowered you down but continued to toy with you and the fabric.

His shirt was half-buttoned and wrinkled, his bandana askew and he was panting heavily. And you knew you were in just as equal a dishevelled state. “Might’ve been.” You said coyly as you ran your fingers through the shorter hairs of his fringe. “Lyra thought it was pretty important to re-create.”

“Remind me to thank her.” Hunter mumbled against your neck.

“And I have two more.” You said through a gratified and happy sigh as you cradled the back of his head as he lightly and dotingly kissed across your collarbone. “Next time I’ll wear one of the different colours.” You promised.

Hunter rested his forehead on your chest with a low moan. “I don’t know how you expect me to focus on wedding planning when I know this is something that I’ll be returning too. We’re going to have the most bizarre mix of wedding accompaniments cause I’ll just be looking for the quickest way out.”

You chuckled softly and on slightly shaky legs, you made to step past him to freshen up but Hunter’s hand around yours stopped you in your tracks.

“Hold on, what makes you think I’m done with this one?” Hunter said, his eyes gleaming with both mischief and desire.

“Aren’t you?” You replied with a smirk, but your heart was already racing in anticipation once more.

“There were a lot of really terrible bands.” He said by way of answer before he led you towards the bed.

Next Oneshot>

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @andreaaxy, @moonychicky, @notgonnaedit, @arctrooper69, @dizzy-9906 , @nightmonkeysstuff @allthingsimagines , @thegreymarveljedi , @jellybeanstacey0519 , @callsign-denmark , @superbookishhufflepuff , @qvnthesia , @justsomerandompersonintheworld , @ooostarwarsfandom501st

[duachai]

# ♱ SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE LINES

An American actor filming in China finds comfort, connection, and a quiet romance

♱ PAIRING : Zhang Yixing x Male Reader

♱ CONTENT WARNING : This writing contains no mature content

♱ AUTHOR'S NOTE : Sorry this is so super late ~!

♱ REQUESTED : NO

The first thing M/n noticed about China was the noise. 

Not the kind you’d expect; cars honking, crowds yelling, city buzz. No, it was the way everything seemed to hum with purpose. The streets, the skies, the people. It was organized chaos, poetic in a way he hadn’t expected. Even the language, fast and melodic, left him wide-eyed and unsure, fumbling through phrases on his phone translator and bowing too much at coffee shops. 

He was jet-lagged, overdressed, and underprepared. 

"You're not in LA anymore," he muttered to himself in the mirror of his hotel room, adjusting the collar of his crisp shirt. He'd landed in Shanghai only twelve hours ago and was already expected on set for a read-through. 

The film was a rare international co-production; one of those dreamy, big-budget projects that seemed impossible until they weren’t. His agent had called it a career move. M/n wasn’t sure what kind of career involved being surrounded by dialogue he barely understood and ancient tea rituals on the catering table, but he’d smiled and said yes. 

He hadn’t expected him. 

Lay arrived fifteen minutes late and still somehow made it look graceful. The chatter in the room dimmed as he walked in, wearing a long gray coat, scarf draped around his neck like it was stitched by clouds, and an iced coffee in one hand. His smile was soft, familiar to everyone but M/n, who had only seen it through screens. 

That’s Lay. That’s Zhang Yixing. 

M/n sat up straighter, suddenly aware of the coffee stain on his script and how awkwardly he was holding his pencil. Lay glanced around the room, then caught M/n’s eye. 

He smiled. 

And M/n... forgot how to breathe. 

The read-through began in a whirlwind of Mandarin, pages flipping, actors exchanging rapid dialogue like it was second nature. M/n could follow the rhythm, but the actual words? That was another story. He kept his eyes glued to the translated script, mouthing along like he was cramming for a final exam. 

Then, the director clapped twice and called for a break. 

M/n stood and stretched, wandering off toward the craft table with all the grace of a newborn deer. He was trying to figure out what exactly a “tea egg” was when a quiet voice cut through the buzz behind him. 

“You looked focused.” 

M/n turned; too fast, and nearly dropped his water bottle. 

Lay was standing there, hands tucked in the pockets of his coat, head tilted slightly like he was amused. His English was smooth, accented but clear, and unexpectedly warm. Like honey stirred into warm tea. 

“Focused?” M/n chuckled, brushing his hand through his hair. “Pretty sure I looked like I was about to pass out.” 

“You were following well,” Lay said gently. “Better than most do on their first day.” 

“That’s generous of you.” M/n gave him a sheepish grin. “I’m still mentally Googling every other word.” 

Lay smiled, and something in it made M/n’s chest tighten. It was calm. Patient. Not the smile of a global superstar; but of someone real. 

“You’ll get used to it,” Lay said. “The language. The pace. Even the tea eggs.” 

M/n glanced back at the strange, speckled things on the tray. “Debatable.” 

That made Lay laugh. Not just a chuckle, a real laugh. M/n stared for half a second too long. 

“I’m Yixing, by the way,” he said, extending a hand. 

“M/n,” he replied, taking it. Lay’s palm was warm, his grip gentle. 

“I know,” Lay said. “I watched your last movie. The indie one, The First Snow. You were... good.” 

M/n blinked. “Wait. You watched it?” 

Lay just shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. “I like stories. Especially ones about people who feel out of place.” 

Before M/n could respond, the director called them back. 

Lay turned and walked away without another word. 

And M/n stood there, holding a bottle of water, heart pounding, and wondering if it was jet lag; or if maybe, just maybe, this trip was about more than a career move after all. 

Later that night, M/n was halfway into his hotel bed, face buried in the pillow, when his phone buzzed. 

Yixing 🐑: "Are you still awake?" 

He stared at the message. The clock read 11:42 p.m. 

M/n: "Barely. Why?" 

Yixing 🐑: "Come to the studio. I want to show you something." 

M/n hesitated only for a second before pulling on a hoodie and slipping out the door. 

- 

The studio was tucked into a quiet corner of the city, far from the flashy lights of Shanghai’s skyline. It didn’t look like much from the outside, but inside, it was warm; wooden floors, soft lighting, shelves filled with books, candles, and little things that looked like memories. 

Lay was waiting for him barefoot, sitting cross-legged by the sound system. He looked up when M/n entered, his face lit by a soft, almost shy smile. 

“I write here,” he said, waving a hand at the space. “Music. Lyrics. Sometimes just thoughts.” 

M/n stepped in slowly, like he was entering someone’s heart. 

Lay got to his feet. “I was working on something earlier. Thought you might want to hear it.” 

He didn’t wait for a reply; just pressed play. A slow, dreamy beat filled the room. It was layered and smooth, soft like whispered promises. Chinese lyrics melted into English, and even though M/n couldn’t catch every word, he felt them. 

Lay turned toward him, not dancing, not performing; just being. Moving gently with the rhythm, eyes closed, letting the music wrap around him like smoke. 

M/n didn’t dare speak. 

When the song ended, the silence was thick. 

Lay opened his eyes and looked at him. 

“I wrote that after my last tour,” he said. “When I felt... disconnected. Like no matter where I was, I wasn’t really home.” 

M/n’s voice was quiet. “I know that feeling.” 

Lay tilted his head. “You miss it? America?” 

“I don’t know,” M/n admitted. “I think I miss the idea of it more than the place. Here feels... I don’t know. Kind of like starting over.” 

Lay nodded slowly, stepping closer. His voice dropped to something softer. 

“Then maybe that’s not a bad thing.” 

They stood there, the space between them charged. Lay’s fingers twitched like he wanted to reach out. 

“Why’d you invite me here?” M/n asked, barely a whisper. 

Lay looked up at him, eyes honest. “Because you looked like someone who needed a place to breathe.” 

M/n’s chest ached at that. His lips parted, something sitting on the edge of a confession. 

But Lay just smiled, that same quiet smile, and said- 

“Stay for a bit?” 

M/n nodded, throat too tight to speak. 

So he stayed. 

- 

A few nights later… 

Filming had gone late. The scene had been heavy, emotionally draining; the kind that left you feeling hollow even when the cameras stopped rolling. Everyone else had cleared out, but M/n lingered, muscles sore, eyes unfocused, brain fried. 

He found himself wandering. 

And somehow, he ended up on the rooftop. 

The city stretched out beneath him; endless lights and motion, but all muffled by the night. Up here, it was quiet. 

Peaceful. 

Then the door creaked open. 

Lay stepped out, hoodie pulled over his head, a to-go cup in each hand. 

“I figured you’d be here,” he said simply, offering one of the drinks. “Ginger tea. Helps after night shoots.” 

M/n took it with a small, grateful smile. “Thanks.” 

They stood side by side for a while, not speaking. Just sipping, breathing. The silence felt like safety. 

“Rough day?” Lay asked softly. 

M/n let out a humorless laugh. “Understatement.” 

He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s weird. I’ve done tough roles before. But this one… I don’t know. Maybe it’s being here. Away from everything I know. I feel like I’m performing all the time. Even when the cameras are off.” 

Lay nodded, not interrupting. 

“I keep thinking…” M/n’s voice dropped, rough at the edges. “What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t belong here?” 

Lay turned to him, brows drawn together. 

“You do.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because I see you,” Lay said gently. “You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re just… being. Honest. Open. That’s rare.” 

M/n blinked hard, swallowing against the lump rising in his throat. 

“No one’s ever said that to me before,” he admitted. 

Lay’s expression softened. “Then they weren’t really looking.” 

The wind picked up, cool against their skin. M/n’s fingers brushed Lay’s where their hands rested on the rooftop rail. 

He didn’t pull away. 

M/n looked at him, something raw flickering in his chest. 

“I didn’t expect to feel this way,” he murmured. “Not here. Not with you.” 

Lay’s eyes met his; steady, kind, but unreadable. 

“I didn’t either,” he said. “But I’m not scared of it.” 

Their breaths fogged the air between them. 

M/n took a slow step closer. “You’re not?” 

Lay shook his head. “I’ve lived enough to know the good things don’t come often. When they do… you hold on.” 

Silence. 

Then- 

“Can I kiss you?” M/n asked, breathless. 

Lay’s smile was small. Certain. 

“You don’t have to ask.” 

And under the soft glow of the city, where no one could see them but the stars, they kissed. 

It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t polished. It was a little unsure, a little slow, two people learning the shape of something new. 

But it was real. 

And it was theirs. 

[lynnlovesthestars]

Could you do a Astarion x Tiefling Reader were they are sitting alone underneath there tents canopy in and they are sewing to pass the time humming and doesn't notice Astarion walk up after he was looking for them . ( they could be making something for him maybe for his 'birthday' after learning that it was that day ) .

omg sorry i took so long but my creativity juices flow in funny ways ahah.. to make it a little easier for me, since my tiny brain has been having a hard time in putting words down, i thought it would have been nice to tie this up with a oneshot i wrote a few weeks ago.. i wish i followed better your prompt- though i hope you'll like it.

Ofc reading the part before this won't change the experience, but it was nice to tie them together cause it gave a little continuity and idk anyways i hope you'll like it though it's mostly introspective and a lil angsty when astarion shows up..

----

Masterlist.

Part 1. (the one shot i tied this to)

My prompt list for requests.

Taglist: @sessils @spacebarbarianweird (i forgot to add it yesterday cause im an idiot, but better late than never ahah)

----

Golden.

Pairing: astarion x GN!tiefling!reader

Summary: the huge tear in his shirt caught your eye again, and you decided to give him a reminder that someone cared about him.

Genre: angsty?, lots of thinking, self-doubt, avoidance✨

You never noticed the tears carefully patched up on Astarion’s shirt until you were retrieving your dried clothes from the fire.

His button up sat up ripped on the stone like you left it on the night before, yet you still couldn’t help but focus on the smaller sewn tears already covering the fabric. It was such a precise job, that you wouldn’t have been able to tell that the fabric was ever broken until you looked closely and the places where the thread was tightly pulled became clearer.

You made a mental note of it as you walked back to your tent, holding up the bundle of yours and Astarion’s clothes.

The camp was lively that morning: yelling, singing, clattering of bottles and pans, along with rustling of the leaves had saturated the air, charging it with an electrifying energy.

In the middle of the chaos, your brain still stirred towards Astarion and the way you woke up curled up in his side, while he was meditating.

The tension that filled the tent the night before was gone. The only thing left from the night before was the ghost of his bite on your neck, and his body holding you to him.

When he broke his trance, he acted like nothing ever happened. Like you didn’t sleep twisted with him, or the way he drove you insane the night before.

You could still feel his lips on your neck as you collected your sewing kit from the tent, which still smelled like him, blood and bergamot.

As you spread the shirt on your lap, you could relive the events of the night before like a bard stuck on encore after encore.

You could feel the warmth of your bodies pressed to each other still spreading over your skin as you carefully prepared the essential to fix the tear.

You studied the tear that spread over the back, you knew it was going to be hard to make it seem flawless like the rest of them, but you wanted to attempt for him.

Worst case scenario, it was gonna stay broken anyways.

As you started to work on the tear, and you noticed how the uneven edges were not coming out nicely, an idea spurred in your mind.

At worst you were already planning on buying him a new one when you reached Baldur’s Gate. You had connections in the lower city, and you knew you could get a tailor to make the same button up if you brought a reference.

You worked on the shirt for what felt like hours, while everyone was enjoying their day, whether they took care of chores around camp or disappeared for walks, but as everyone came and left, the only one you had not seen was Astarion.

It was only when the sun was starting to set that you finally spotted him near his tent as he was looking for something in his bag.

You were just done with the shirt, and you couldn't help but hope he liked it.

You folded the shirt carefully along with the rest of his clothes, and as you were ready to head towards Astarion, he already stood in front of you.

His face was unreadable like he wanted to convey a specific emotion, but couldn't figure out how to. He was tense, his arms were frozen at his sides, so you decided to break the ice.

“I did this for you” You carefully showed him the pile of his neatly folded clothes, and his shirt on top.

“I wanted to fix your shirt, but the tear was too-” You started but before you could explain, Astarion had stopped you almost harshly.

“You didn't have to”He said briefly, it sounded mostly like an admonishment, yet you could have sworn there was some sort of softness to it. 

“I know, but I wanted to” 

“Why?” His furrowed brows were inquisitive, trying to gauge your intentions as he wetted his lips. 

“Cause I care about you, I literally told you yesterday” The words slipped out of your lips just as quickly as your tail was swishing nervously.

He scoffed, folding his arms and turning his eyes away from you. “No one does things for free” You could tell there was something odd from him, as if he was trying to bury something under this indifference he was trying to put up now.

“Count this as a gift then” You jutted your chin towards him and invited him to take the clothes still in your arms.

He was taken aback by the simplicity with which you said those words, almost carelessly, and most of all to the person that deserved them the least, especially how hard he was being with you.

He wanted to quip back but you resumed your explanation before he could even think of a response and he wanted to hate it so much. 

“As I was saying, I tried to fix the tear, but it didn't want to look nice, so I embroidered the shirt with a gold pattern” You explained as you pointed at the button up. Astarion was so focused on shielding himself that he didn’t even look at his clothes, she could have gave him one of her shirts for what he knew and he would have not realized it until he would be in his tent. 

His eyes finally fell on the piece of clothing his mouth fell slightly open. He traced the golden thread carefully, as if it was a creation of his sick mind. “I hope it’s not too much.”You trailed off, your words were warm, almost sticking to his skin like glue. He wanted to shake them off himself, he wanted to yell that he didn’t deserve such attentions, that you were an idiot to do all of this for someone that had planned to use you, but it was like something in his body stopped him from screaming and lashing out at you, the only thing he could manage to do was the simple task he gave himself in the morning.

“I came here to thank you for last night, and for your kindness” He started with a honeyed voice. “But I suppose I have one more thing to add to the list” He clutched the bundle of clothes to his chest, tipping his head forward in thank you.

[auriidae]

LIFESTUCK ?!?! (pt 2 here!) (pt 3)

i was sick a couple days ago and spent like 12 hours straight doing nothing but classpecting life series characters and then was like Yeah i have to draw this now. so here's some sillies 👍 (super long classpect ramble under cut because i spent far too long on it not to share hfshjf)

quick note: i really really love @/classpect-navelgazing's theories and used them for a lot of the ideas here. go check their blog out it rules :]

ok you guys flower ranchers (scott tango jimmy) are making me so insane for this au specifically because of this idea i had about doom/life players. doom in true canon is related to inevitability, fate, and knowledge of the specific rules that keep the characters trapped within their story, right. and life is sort of related to healing, physically and mentally, within the confines of the game. so within this au, the aspect of life refers to the rules within the game that the players can see and are aware of (last life’s trading lives system + boogeyman, third life’s soulmate mechanic, secret life’s tasks, etc.). life players have some amount of dominion over these elements (depending on their class, of course). doom on the other hand refers to everything surrounding the games (stuff like admin powers, the world barrier, and whatever happens to the players after they die). 

as a mage of doom, scot (his name is so funny to me. like yeah he sure is) has a bunch of intrinsic knowledge about the way the games function on a logistical level. he’s like a guy who read the script a while ago and forgot all the characters’ names but knows the basic plot and how it’s going to end. or who knows all the ins and outs of tech crew and for whom the apparent magic of the show for the audience is lost on, since he knows how it’s being done. the thing is, scot isn't especially able to act on this knowledge during the game. what director wants someone in the audience — or one of the actors — taking all the magic out of the show, spoiling how it works and how it ends? no, it’s best if they keep that knowledge to themselves — and so scot’s narratively unable to affect the stories of those around him, even his close friends who he’d want to help. he’s aware of this, of course, which makes him more than a little depressed, as he can see the futility of it all and can’t even explain to anyone what’s going on and how the game works. (the only story he’s able to affect, of course, is his own. which. depressed doom player + mage martyr complex + guy who Really cares about his friends is not necessarily a good combination.)

the amount of stock i put in the idea of gendered classes is close to zero so tangoe gets to be a maid of life because ohh my goodness. i like the theory (thanks classpect-navelgazing) of life as “the aspect of affluence,” where life players usually enter the game with some kind of material wealth or status that helps their position in some way. i also like the idea that maid players start the game with a surplus of their aspect but often end up feeling as if they’re only seen as a provider of that specific thing as a result of this, and so end up longing for something else instead. this primarily applies to last life tango because that’s the season i’m most familiar with lol, but i thought the way he started out with so many lives there and quickly dwindled as a result of everyone taking from him and only him was Really interesting. mans has all the luck of the game he could need, but only wants friends to actually be able to live with. being a life player also ties into his little gambling games and things (again, dominion over stuff within the overarching game/story, but nothing beyond that).

then we get to jimi (again fantastic name). the basic premise of an heir is that they’re played by their aspect, right and Oh Boy is jimmy played by life in the life series. i don’t personally know much about anything he’s done other than heehoo canary guy but along with the previously stated points it’s So fun to see him as a life player because it allows for some really clearly contrast between the way he interacts with tangoe and scot based on their aspects. i really like the idea of scot being like “you’re a life player jimi. it's in your name. the game is not going to let you die” and jimi like “you really think so? aw thanks man” neither of them knowing that dying as a life player in this game is literally like in the job description. (ok. i kind of feel like i’m letting jimi down by basing his story so far around other people.. but this is just for fun and i can always change it later)

(also i could easily have put tangoe and jimi as doom players too but for the fact that i don’t think they necessarily see through the game as much as scot does (or at all). and so life it is.)

feel free to ask me questions abt them!!! i have so many thoughts about this bro 

[domm1etae]

sent to tempt me - chapter sixteen

chapter sixteen: trying to test the waters

chapter summary: After an awkward but warm moment of tending to Mingi’s wounds, Yunho gets his first small taste of confidence—only for Mingi to flip the script with an unexpected question about....roleplay?

pairing: yunho x mingi

genre: smut (not yet but there will be eventually), angst, fluff, romance, m/m, non!idol!ateez, sub!yunho, dom!mingi, drama, coming of age, collage, religion

rating: 18+ (for the whole series bc there will be smut eventually) | mdni

word count: 2.1k

warnings under

collage, roommates, sub!yunho, dom!mingi, bad boy mingi and religious church good boy yunho, same-sex attraction, m/m, teasing, dark themes, homophobia, self discovery, pet names, strangers to lovers, religion and religious topics, aaaand more will be added soon hehehe

previous chapter | next chapter | AO3 | this fics masterlist

author's note: uuuum so this came out 6 days ago already but i forgot to post it here on tmblr.... don't hate me guys i am so sorry

anyywaaays, i am already working on chapter 17 sooo that is coming very sooooon my loves

Yunho finally stepped out of the bathroom, freshly washed, his hair still slightly damp and sticking to his forehead in uneven strands. His skin was warm from the lingering heat of the shower, and he had gone through his entire routine—lotion, toner, everything—yet somehow, he still didn’t feel fully prepared for this. He swallowed, gripping the first aid kit a little tighter in his hands as he slowly made his way toward the living room.

Mingi was still lounging on the couch, one arm lazily draped over the backrest while his other hand held his phone. The soft glow of the TV flickered across his face, and Yunho noticed that at some point, Mingi had turned on the lamp beside the couch, casting a warmer, more intimate atmosphere over the room. It made everything feel smaller, quieter.

The second Mingi noticed Yunho approaching, he let out a low chuckle, his lips curling into that same teasing smirk that always made Yunho’s stomach twist into nervous knots.

“You really took your time in there,” Mingi mused, glancing him up and down before turning back to his phone. “You must be all relaxed now.”

The teasing lilt in his voice made Yunho grip the first aid kit even harder. Relaxed? Yeah, right. He barely survived that shower without overthinking himself into an early grave.

He tried to stay calm, but his body betrayed him, his fingers fidgeting slightly as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. His gaze flickered toward Mingi before quickly darting away again.

Focus, Yunho. You need to bite back… somehow.

But before he could say anything, Mingi tilted his head and continued, completely unfazed by Yunho’s nervous energy.

“Do you enjoy long showers?”

Yunho’s breath hitched slightly at the sudden question, his brain short-circuiting for a split second before he forced himself to respond.

“Yeah,” he said, a little too softly, cheeks already warming up. “When I need them, I do.”

Mingi hummed in approval, his smirk widening like he had Yunho exactly where he wanted him.

“What about you?” Yunho asked quickly, trying to shift the attention away from himself.

“Yeah, it’s good to let out some steam sometimes,” Mingi admitted, stretching his arms above his head before letting them drop lazily back down. “Best when no one’s around, and I can blast music at full volume and sing my heart out in the shower.”

Yunho couldn’t help but laugh at that, the mental image of Mingi dramatically singing in the shower popping into his head before he could stop it. The sound must’ve caught Mingi’s attention because he turned to face him fully now, his expression shifting slightly.

“Why are you just standing there?” Mingi asked, raising an eyebrow. “Come and sit. I don’t think we can do this while you’re hovering like a lost puppy.”

Yunho blinked, suddenly remembering why he had even come out here in the first place.

“Ah—sorry,” he mumbled, moving toward the couch and placing the first aid kit on the table, his hands still just a little too tense.

Mingi was still watching him closely, but Yunho did his best to ignore it. He needed to get through this without completely losing his mind.

Yunho busied himself with preparing the supplies, carefully opening the first aid kit and laying out what he needed. His hands were steady now—finally—but his heart was still beating a little too fast in his chest.

“So…” He cleared his throat, glancing at Mingi. “Where do you wanna start?”

Mingi barely thought about it. “My face.”

Yunho raised an eyebrow, and Mingi shrugged. “Doesn’t matter where you start, it’s gonna hurt anyway.” He grinned. “Might as well get it over with.”

“I’ll try to make it as painless as I can, I promise,” Yunho assured him, already reaching for the antiseptic.

Mingi tilted his head dramatically. “If not, I’ll cry. And you don’t want that.”

Yunho blinked, caught off guard. “What?”

Mingi laughed. “I’m just kidding. I don’t cry.” He paused for effect. “Except when it comes to pet videos. I can’t watch those, or I’ll bawl my eyes out for a good thirty minutes.” He leaned in slightly, lowering his voice like it was a secret. “But you didn’t hear that from me.”

Yunho found himself chuckling, shaking his head as he lifted a hand and mimed locking his mouth with a key. The gesture made Mingi snicker, and for the first time that night, Yunho felt himself relax just a little.

With the mood lighter now, he got to work, moving to sit beside Mingi so he could reach his face properly. The cut on Mingi’s eyebrow was healing well—not too deep, not too swollen anymore.

“This looks good,” Yunho murmured, carefully dabbing at the wound. “Actually… I’d say it’s healing really fast.”

Mingi smirked. “Probably a good doctor.”

Yunho’s brain immediately short-circuited.

What?

Why did he say that so casually? Did he have any idea what he was doing? Did he know that Yunho was actually insane? That he couldn’t handle comments like that without spiraling?

Yunho didn’t respond at first, his fingers freezing in place while his whole face went up in flames. His ears burned, and his grip on the cotton pad tightened just a little.

Mingi was looking at him, waiting for a reaction. Yunho could feel it.

After what felt like an eternity, he swallowed, forcing himself to focus on the wound again.

And then, finally, he mumbled under his breath, just barely audible—

“…Yeah. That’s probably why.”

“All done with your eyebrow,” Yunho announced softly, carefully setting aside the used cotton pads and antiseptic wipes. He exhaled, relieved to be past the first part without embarrassing himself too much.

But before he could fully relax, Mingi struck again.

“So…” Mingi hummed, stretching his arms over the back of the couch. “Do I get a reward after this appointment, Mister Doctor?” He shot Yunho a playful look. “Perhaps a lollipop?”

Yunho froze.

Oh.

Oh, of course. Of course Mingi had to throw in another tease, another casual, flirty remark that Yunho had no clue how to deal with. It was like Mingi was genetically programmed to make Yunho’s brain short-circuit at any given moment.

For a split second, Yunho considered doing what he always did—blushing, stammering, pretending he didn’t hear it, letting Mingi win yet again.

But… no.

Not this time.

Yunho had spent the last twenty minutes psyching himself up, telling himself that he needed to fight back, that he couldn’t keep letting Mingi walk all over him like this. He was already nervous as hell, but if he was ever going to take a shot at teasing back, now was the perfect opportunity.

Before he could overthink it—before his rational brain could slam the emergency brakes—his mouth was already moving.

“If you’re a good boy and behave,” Yunho said smoothly, grabbing a fresh antiseptic wipe, “then maybe.”

Silence.

A deep silence.

Oh. Oh no. What did he just—

Did he really just say that?

Did he, Jeong Yunho, actually just say those words out loud, in his actual real voice, to Song Mingi?

His heart practically threw itself against his ribs, and his ears burned so hot that he was surprised they weren’t catching fire. But it was too late to take it back now. The words were out there, hanging in the air between them.

And Mingi—Mingi wasn’t saying anything.

Nothing.

No comeback, no playful teasing, no witty one-liner.

That alone sent Yunho into another downward spiral.

Why wasn’t Mingi saying anything? Was he—was he actually stunned? Did Yunho break him?

Wait—did he win?

Slowly, cautiously, Yunho turned around, antiseptic wipe in hand, facing Mingi so he could continue treating his lip wound. But this time, there was something different in the air.

Mingi’s expression wasn’t as easy to read as before. His lips were slightly parted, as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what. His eyes—dark, amused, surprised—were locked onto Yunho’s face in a way that made Yunho’s stomach tighten.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Yunho felt his own breath catch in his throat, but he forced himself to keep moving, to focus on the task at hand. He was not going to back down now—not when he’d finally, finally managed to catch Mingi off guard.

Trying to keep his hands steady, he leaned in, gently reaching out to hold Mingi’s chin between his fingers.

“Stay still,” Yunho mumbled, eyes flickering to Mingi’s lips.

Mingi didn’t move.

Didn’t even breathe.

And for the first time ever, Yunho thought that maybe, just maybe, he had the upper hand.

Even if it was just for a second.

Before Yunho could even begin tending to Mingi’s lip, he made the mistake of glancing up—just for a second—to check on him.

And that was all it took.

Because Mingi was already looking at him.

Not just looking—watching.

Yunho barely had a moment to process it before, right before his eyes, the biggest, most shit-eating smirk spread across Mingi’s face.

Yunho felt the power he’d just barely grasped slip through his fingers like sand.

Mingi tried to speak, but with Yunho still holding his jaw, it came out slightly muffled. That didn’t stop him, though. Of course it didn’t.

“Damn, man,” Mingi drawled, eyes twinkling with amusement. “You have game.”

Yunho’s stomach plummeted.

“I wasn’t expecting that at all from a little church boy like you,” Mingi continued, words slurred slightly from Yunho’s grip. And just to add insult to injury, his free hand reached up and patted Yunho’s shoulder like he was proud of him.

Yunho short-circuited on the spot.

His confidence—his hard-won, short-lived, barely existing confidence—vanished in a blink.

“Oh—oh no, no, not at all,” he stammered, his entire body locking up. His hand flew off Mingi’s jaw as if he’d been burned. “I—I'm so sorry, I don’t—I don’t know what got into me—”

He felt himself start to shake, his fingers twitching against his thighs, his heart pounding as fear slithered up his spine. He had messed up. He had gotten too bold, too careless, and now—

Mingi only laughed.

Not a mocking laugh, not a cruel one, but a warm, genuine, lighthearted one, his eyes scrunching up as he grinned at Yunho.

“Dude,” Mingi said, still chuckling, “you don’t have to apologize for showing me your true self.”

Yunho rapidly shook his head, his whole face burning.

“No, no, I—I really shouldn’t have said that, this is not at all like me, that was really rude of me—”

Mingi just waved a hand dismissively, completely unfazed, as if Yunho hadn’t just had a near mental breakdown over one sentence. He even tilted his chin slightly, waiting patiently for Yunho to get back to cleaning his lip wound.

Yunho swallowed hard, forcing himself to move, to at least try and salvage what was left of his dignity. He grabbed another antiseptic wipe, leaned in slightly—

And, because fate was cruel, Mingi decided now was the perfect time to speak again.

“So,” Mingi drawled, his smirk back in full force, “are you, like, into roleplay or something?”

“Ugh—what?” Yunho blinked, his brain lagging hard.

Mingi quirked an eyebrow. “Should I repeat the question?”

“No, no! I heard you well,” Yunho rushed out. “But… what is roleplay?”

Mingi just stared at him.

Expression blank.

Unmoving.

And then—

Laughter.

Loud, uncontrollable, genuine laughter burst from his lips as he leaned back slightly, clutching at his stomach.

“Oh my God,” Mingi wheezed between laughs. “You really fooled me with the way you were talking earlier—”

Yunho’s entire body tensed.

“—but it turns out you actually are just a poor little innocent church boy, huh?”

Yunho bristled.

He knew Mingi wasn’t trying to be mean. The fond look in his eyes, the amused curve of his lips, the way he gazed at Yunho like he was something precious—

That was the problem.

Yunho didn’t want to be treated like some fragile little baby.

He was an adult.

Maybe he wasn’t the most experienced in some areas, maybe he hadn’t had the same exposure to things that other guys had, but that didn’t mean people could just laugh at him like this.

His pride flared up, and before he could stop himself, he straightened his back, brow furrowed.

“No, wait, hold up,” he said quickly. “Does it have something to do with acting?”

Mingi’s laughter softened into a chuckle. “Huh?”

“Well… the word roleplay kind of sounds like an acting thing,” Yunho explained. “Like playing a role?”

Mingi let out a thoughtful hum, tilting his head.

“Well, you could put it that way,” he admitted, a teasing glint in his eye. “What we did back there—” he gestured vaguely toward Yunho’s earlier moment of boldness “—was something like the beginning of a roleplay.”

Yunho blinked. “That’s why you asked if I liked it?”

Mingi grinned. “Yup.”

Yunho frowned slightly.

“But you said it’s something like that… so it’s not the actual thing?”

Mingi didn’t respond right away.

Instead, he tilted his head, gaze darkening just slightly, before slowly leaning in closer.

A slow, playful smile spread across his face.

“Want me to show you?”

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[cressidagrey]

Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours- Chapter 4: Feyre, High Lady of The Night Court (and Nesta, Lady Death…and Bryaxis)

Summary:

5 Times Cassian thought that Azriel had feelings for somebody and then 1 time he finally met the girl his brother was in love with.

Warnings:

Rhys Bashing

Notes:

I put a lot of world building into this. If you don't recognise it from canon, I probably invented. Or I forgot that canon existed.

(thanks to @firefly-graphics for the super pretty dividers!)

He did not figure it out in the weeks that followed. 

He had theories of course. 

For lack of a better idea he was back at Azriel pining for some female he couldn’t have for some reason or another.

Which didn’t make it any easier to narrow down the options. 

It wasn’t like Azriel had ever lacked companionship. If females weren’t outright terrified of him then the chances are they fawned over him. 

But then there was also the fact that…well. Azriel had never seemed to outright have the appetite for female companionship that Cassian and Rhys had over the centuries. His brother had always held himself aloft, removed from it. 

Cassian had never investigated that more thoroughly but now it was there, scratching at the edge of his brain, puzzle pieces without a second one that matched. 

All of it didn’t make sense. He was missing something. And he was sure that it was obvious…

If Azriel was pining over some unavailable female and it wasn’t Mor, then who was it? 

And then Azriel threw a spanner in his theories. 

“Anything else I need to be aware of?”  Rhys asked at their weekly meeting at the River House. Azriel had told him all about Governors that had been making under-the-table deals while Cassian had once again complained about Devlon. 

Some things never changed. 

Cassian shook his head. 

“I need a break.”

The words came so out of left field that Cassian’s jaw dropped. 

But Azriel sat there, staring them both down, jaw set. 

What? 

In all the years that Cassian had known Az…these words had never once left his mouth. 

But there they were. Azriel admitted that he needed a break and dared them to disagree with him. 

What.

 What was happening ? 

“A break?” Rhys repeated, trying his best not to make the surprise show on his face and failing horribly. 

“Yes. Cassian and Nesta took a week in the Illyrian steppes a few months ago. I want a break,” Azriel said, crossing his arms defensively. 

He had taken that break. He had been quite happy about that break as well, but then Cassian had throughout his long life taken more than one break of his own free will. 

The last time the Spymaster of the Night Court had taken a break longer than a few minutes or to sleep…well that was when he had taken a near-fatal injury. And even then, Azriel had been chomping at the bit, unwilling to stay away as long as Madja had wanted him to. 

So for him to just come to them and ask, or demand, a break…that was so unlikely that it scared the shit out of Cassian, to be honest. 

What was going on? 

“You want a break,” Cassian repeated. “Did something happen?” he wondered, looking at Azriel. 

He seemed fine. Granted that didn’t need to mean anything. 

After whatever had gone down between him and Elain, Azriel had a dark circle underneath his eyes for months, and looked like he hadn’t slept a wink during the night. His skin had taken on a near pale shade, or maybe that had just been the shadows that had clung so tightly to the shadowsinger that they had seeingly leeched all his colour and life out of him. 

Even then…even then, Azriel hadn’t wanted a break. 

But now he did. 

Now Azriel wanted a break. 

Azriel met his gaze, his hazel eyes flat. 

“No. I just need a break.”

Do you know what this is about? Cassian mentally asked Rhys who just shook his head, very carefully. 

“I have known you for 500 years and not once have you told us that you need a break ,” Cassian pointed out, trying to be reasonable. Fishing for an explanation, that Azriel didn’t seem willing to give him. 

What had brought this one? What had made Azriel finally admit that he needed a break?

It shouldn’t worry him. It was a healthy development for Azriel to finally figure out some kind of boundaries but…still it did. 

It came out of nowhere. 

“Well, I do !” The way Azriel bit out these words was shocking. Not just to him but also to Rhys. 

I think he really needs that break, Cassian thought quietly. 

“I need a break,” Azriel forced his voice to be quiet, but he was glaring Rhys into submission. 

Agreed. Something is going on. Has he said anything about Esmeray? 

Not to me, Rhys. Could it be Azriel’s mother? There weren’t many things that could make Azriel go quite as feral, but his mother definitely fell into that purview. 

Still…

“So you need a break, Az,” Rhys said, keeping his voice light. “When are you thinking of taking said break?”

“Next week.” The answer came so quickly that Azriel must have thought about it beforehand. 

Is there anything happening next week? Rhys wondered. 

Was there some kind of event or something Azriel could desperately want to attend? Maybe in another court?

Cassian drew a blank. So did Rhys. 

“As long as no new war breaks out, you can have next week. For your break ,” Rhys agreed.  “Do you want the cabin?”

Think he’ll say yes, if it’s about his mom? Cassian wondered. 

“No, thank you,” Azriel turned down Rhys. 

Damnit. That didn’t answer any questions. 

And then before they could properly interrogate their brother, he heard Feyre approach. 

The High Lady of the Night Court settled herself on her mate’s lap that greeted her with a smile. For a moment Cassian missed Nesta. 

“Am I interrupting anything?” Feyre wanted to know. 

Azriel shifted, catching Cassian’s attention. He was watching Rhys and Feyre with a nearly unreadable expression…

But suddenly…suddenly Cassian recognised it. Recognised it as the same expression that he had worn so very often when he had watched Mor for centuries. 

Longing. A secretly held desire. 

It was there, written on his face. Clear as day. 

“Just Az telling us how he needs a break,” Rhys said at that moment. “I think he’s getting soft.”

“A break? You deserve that! Maybe go somewhere warm!” Feyre suggested immediately. 

Azriel’s face morphed at Feyre’s word, softening nearly imperceptively. 

Was it about Feyre or about her suggestion? Cassian didn’t know. Still, it was…curious. 

“I already know where’ll be,” Azriel said quickly. “Feyre, I was wondering…where did you get your table linens from?” 

The conversation topic change was so harsh that Cassian just stared at him. 

What? 

“The table linens?” Feyre asked, sounding as confused as Cassian felt.

“Yes. Table Linens. I need some,” Azriel repeated, sounding certain. 

“You need table linens ?” Cassian asked, making sure that he had gotten that right. Table linens. What was it with Az and his sudden obsession with table linens? It made no sense. 

“There’s this small shop at the rainbow called Clare’s. They have loads of different ones. Unless you mean the ones for huge celebrations then it’s in the Palace of Threads and Jewels,” Feyre answered the question, sounding thoughtful 

“Thank you,” Azriel said primly. 

“Planning on throwing some dinner parties?” Rhys asked

Azriel ignored that. 

“I need to go. I have some table linens to buy.”

And off he went. 

Cassian just stared at him go. 

The feeling that something was wrong burrowing in his gut, the expression of longing still engraved in his mind. 

“Why does he want table linens?” Feyre wondered, sounding perplexed. 

“Something is wrong,” Cassian blurted out. 

Something was really wrong. He didn’t like it on bit. 

“What makes you think that?” Feyre asked him curiously. “Maybe Azriel really just…wants to buy some table linens.”

“He wants to buy bloody table linens!” Cassian snapped. “Rhys! This isn’t normal!” he pointed out to his brother, begging him to understand. Rhys looked thoughtful. 

“He did buy a house,” Rhys pointed out, too damn reasonable. Yes, Azriel had done that but…table linens. Truly? 

“He bought a house?” Feyre asked, curious. “When did he do that? I didn’t know that.” 

“A few months before Elain and Lucien got married,” Cassian answered, with a wave. “It’s near the mountains. It has a lake. It’s nice.”

It was. quite frankly it was nothing like what Cassian had expected Azriel to go for, but his brother had seemed…quite taken with his purchase. 

At least as taken as he had ever seemed with anybody. It was secluded enough that it probably sated some deep-seated desire for privacy from Azriel and with it warded tightly, it would be as good a home for him as any other. 

Though Cassian knew that Azriel had only bought it because he had wanted to get away from Cassian and Nesta and their enthusiastic lovemaking. 

Which again, played into Azriel absolutely hating to be surrounded by happily mated pairs and being alone himself. 

“He took you there?” Rhys asked, surprise apparent in his voice. 

Az hadn’t taken Rhys? 

Well, Azriel had only taken him because he had insisted. “He showed it to me. Or more like I insisted that he showed it to me, because I didn’t want to imagine what Azriel thought were proper living conditions,” Cassian explained with a sigh. Azriel…well, Azriel didn’t expect much from lodgings. Even his house in the townhouse had been bare bones for as long as Cassian could remember. “It had zero furniture but he promised he was going to get some before he moved in,” he said with a shrug. 

Still, he couldn’t imagine Azriel going to a furniture shop, lamenting between fabric swatches and coming out, having purchased a couch. 

“Maybe he just finished furnishing it and now needs table linens,” Feyre offered. “That would make sense,” she points out reasonably. 

Right. Maybe. 

“Azriel is a lot of things, domestic is not one of these,” Rhys agreed with a sigh. “I was already surprised that he bought the house…”

So was Cassian. But then…maybe in some way, it had made sense. Remove himself from more and more things that were…hurting him. Finding himself someplace where it was just Azriel, where he could just be without worrying what anybody else thought. Mope around as much as he wanted, regardless if Rhys thought that he should just get over himself. 

He can’t spend the rest of his life chasing after uninterested females, Rhys said pointedly, having caught some stray thought of his. 

You know very well that Azriel has never done any chasing. He respectfully pines ,” Cassian disagreed. It wasn’t like Azriel was…annoying with his pining. He was quiet and stayed away. And you know that it’s not that easy. You can’t just shut off your feelings when they don’t suit you anymore. 

Mother knew, they both had tried. 

It’s not healthy for him, Rhys said sharply. 

And Cassian had enough. Oh come on, Rhysand, we both know that neither of us should be allowed to pass that judgment, Cassian snapped. 

You both should know that it’s terribly impolite to have a whole conversation that I am not privy to while I am in the room, came Feyre’s amused mental voice. 

“Leave him alone, Rhys. Whatever he does, it has nothing to do with you,” Cassian drawled aloud. 

“Doesn’t it?” Rhys gave back with a sigh. “He’s the Spymaster of this court, he’s…”

“He’s your brother and his private life is absolutely none of your fucking business,” Cassian said tightly. “Unless he’s pining for Feyre…oh.”

Oh. 

That…yeah. 

That would explain the look on Azriel’s face. Why he didn’t came to family dinners as often as he used to anymore. Why he seemed withdrawn and the tension between him and Rhys and…

“No, we are not doing that, Cassian,” Feyre cut him off, sharply. “You literally thought he was in a secret relationship with Eris Vanserra . And now you think Azriel is quietly pining away over me? This is ridiculous,” she spat out. 

“You didn’t see the way he looked at you,” Cassian protested. 

Rhys seemed withdrawn like he wasn’t quite sure what to think about this. 

Feyre just snorted, something akin to amusement on her face. 

“Did it pass your mind for just one moment that that has nothing to do with me personally?” Feyre said sharply. “That maybe whatever way he looked at was him wanting what his brothers had?”

“What do you mean, darling?” Rhys asked, curiosity peaked. What was this about? 

“I think that Azriel wants what his brothers have,” Feyre pointed out quietly. “Don’t you think that he ever wonders why?”

Why? Why what? 

“You are three brothers. Two of them are mated. He isn’t,” Feyre pointed out quietly. “Don’t you think he ever wonders about why he isn’t? Why he doesn’t deserve a bond? Why you two got them but he didn’t?”

It wasn’t anything that Cassian hadn’t also thought about in passing. About how it was fair that Cassian and Rhys had met their mates and Azriel hadn’t. How out of three brothers, two had been mated to two out of three sisters, but the third to another? 

All of it had been there in his brain at one point or another. 

But for Azriel, Azriel that doubted his worth every fucking day in that silent way of his, that tried to prove himself again and again…it must have been just another injustice in a very long, long line of them.

“He does,” Feyre continued. “And I also think that regardless of how happy he is for you, and he is, you know that…there is a part of him that envies both of you,” she said pointedly. “So leave it alone, Cassian. He wants to have a secret relationship? Let him have it. As long as he is happy, I don’t care. Neither should either of you. He deserves whatever happiness he can carve out for himself.”

It was pointed, sharp and cutting. And she was right. Feyre was completely right. 

He couldn’t on one hand tell Rhys that he had no right to judge Azriel’s private life and then himself try and force his brother to admit something he wasn’t ready to. 

“Besides, who’s next on your list of options, Cass? Nesta?  Do you think he is secretly pining for your mate as well?” Feyre continued with a snort. “Quite frankly, she’s a better guess than me. He did buy her these hairpins. That’s more personal than a couple of paints.” 

“He bought Nesta hairpins?” Rhys asked, sounding perplexed. 

“With stiletto blades hidden in them. She loves them,” Cassian admitted with a shrug.

“She does,” Feyre agreed.  “Azriel is one of the few people that Nesta is actually nice to, too. Maybe they are having a torrid love affair and you know nothing about it!” she told him wide-eyed and Cassian glared at her. 

“Not funny,” he told Feyre, who just grinned at him. 

“Maybe Bryaxis is involved too!” she suggested with a gasp. 

He held back a shudder at that. 

“Now you are just being cruel, High Lady,” he told her and she shrugged. 

“From all the options presented today, I think Bryaxis is the most likely,” she said drily. “Just leave him alone. He’ll come to you when he is ready.”

Right.

“I am gonna go spy on Azriel, buying table linens,” Cassian said as he stood up, making Rhys snort and Feyre roll her eyes. 

To his neverending surprise, he actually found Azriel at the first store Feyre had mentioned. 

Azriel came out, laden with a couple of bags and Cassian couldn’t help but stare at him. This was…

Azriel spotted him immediately, looking less than pleased to see him. 

“Did Rhys put you up to it?” he demanded and Cassian blinked. 

What?

“What, no! Why should he do that?” Cassian asked. Why…why would Rhys…

“You tell me,”  Azriel sniped back.“If it’s not Rhys, then what are you doing here? I doubt you wanted to watch me shop for table linens.”

Yeah, he didn’t. But then he didn’t actually think he was gonna find Azriel actually buying table linens.

“You actually bought table linens?” he asked and Azriel rolled his eyes at him. 

“Yes, of course, I bought some. Why do you think I asked Feyre to tell me where to go?” Azriel sighed. “Cassian, do you actually care about that or did you think that me going to find table linens meant that I was going off to find the secret lover you are currently convinced I have for some cauldron-forsaken reasons?”

Right. 

This wasn’t about that secret lover that may or not exist. This was way more important. This was about Azriel. 

“For cauldron’s sake Azriel, I am worried about you!” Cassian snapped. This was about his brother . Azriel just stared at him. 

“Why?” Azriel asked, sounding like he couldn’t for the life of him understand why Cassian cared. 

“Why?” Cassian repeated sharply. “You don’t talk to me, or anybody, you don’t say anything, you disappear from family dinners and now you suddenly want a break! What’s going on?” Cassian demanded. 

Azriel was silent, deep in thought. 

“What’s going on, Az? Come on, you know you can talk to me,” Cassian said softly. 

What was really going on? Was this about Azriel’s mother?

“I know,” Azriel said, his voice quiet.” But right now, I was really just buying table linens,” he insisted. 

Cassian would have liked to shake some sense into him but he didn’t. 

“I am not letting this go,” he said, resolvement growing. Something was going on and he was going to figure it out. He would be there for his brother, damnit. 

A tiny smile appeared on Azriel’s face. 

“I wouldn’t expect anything else,” Azriel promised. 

“So what kind of table linens did you buy?” Cassian asked him, curious. What kind of table linens did Azriel think were appropriate for his house? 

Azriel just sighed. 

Cassian did not actually get an answer out of him. He did get the promise of a sparring match the next morning and then Azriel had a lunch he had to get to with a friend .  

For a moment Cassian played with the thought of following along and making a pest out of himself. 

But he didn’t. Maybe he was having lunch with some High Fae Female he met in Velaris and was stupidly in love with. Somebody that loved Azriel and appreciated him as much as he should be. 

Maybe that was it.

Cassian wished that for his brother. 

[thebeast-dennis-etcetera]

So Many Questions Part 1

Prompt: You’re pulled in for questioning by NCIS and are quickly surprised to see your ex-boyfriend as your interrogator.

Note: Characters are post season 11

Part 2 Part 3

————

As quick as your feet would let you without actually running, you made your way past the reception and into the elevators to your floor. Ignoring the hellos from your fellow coworkers, you went right up to your assistant and interrupted her phone call.

“If a man with a blue suit and atrocious beard comes in asking for me, tell him I’m busy in a meeting and can’t talk today.”

Before she could answer or ask any questions, you entered your office and shut the door quickly behind you, letting out a breath.

The man you were referring to was a very insistent investor that you had no interest in talking with especially after he tried to woo you with a giant fruit basket and money. You and your company were not for sale or in the business of taking bribes. Luckily, you saw him in the lobby and ran for safety before he could spot you.

You sat at your desk that was stacked with paperwork and dived head first into it, knowing the growing pile was only going to get bigger by procrastinating.

Not even 15 minutes into work, your door was knocked on. You swore if it was your assistant and that pesky investor, you were for sure firing her.

“Come in!” you called, hoping for the best.

A man and woman walked in, both immediately flashing badges before introducing themselves.

“Miss L/N. I’m Special Agent McGee and this is Special Agent Bishop, NCIS. We have some questions to ask you but need you to come in with us.”

NCIS. You thought you’d never hear those letters spoken together ever since you and a specific agent had broken up 5 years ago.

“Um, what is it regarding may I ask?”

“One of your employees, a Miss Darvel,” he answered, walking over and handing me a piece of paper. Skimming over it, you realized that it was a warrant to question you in relation to a murder.

“You don’t think I’m a suspect, do you?”

“No ma’am, but we do have to have to question you considering our findings.”

You shook your head in disbelief, partly at the fact that you’re about to be questioned by federal agents but more at the fact that of all government agencies questioning you, it had to be NCIS.

“Um, ok. Just let me grab my things I guess.”

————

Most of the car ride was silent, just a little small talk about your life but you conveniently left out the part where you knew Jet, not knowing if you would even run into him. Hopefully, you didn’t and were able to keep your mental wounds from opening.

You followed them into the elevator and through the orange walls to an interrogation room. They really weren’t kidding.

“Would you like some water?” the woman you remembered as Agent Bishop asked you.

“Sure, that would be nice. Thank you.”

She smiled and the both of them left to leave you alone in the ominous room with only your reflection staring back at you. Taking a seat in the cold metal chair, you fidgeted your hands and waited.

Not long went by before the door opened again and two men walked in, one in which you knew very well, and the other was unfamiliar with his dark skin and muscular build. Your chest tightened at the sight of Jethro sitting down in front of you, pushing a bottle of water towards you, no expression on his face.

“I wasn’t expecting to ever see you again Jet,” you stated, slight displeasure in your tone.

“Jet?” his partner asked him with a smile. Jethro shot him his classic stare, wiping the smile off his partners face and looked back at me.

“I’m here on business Y/N. We have some questions for you regarding one of your employees, Petty Officer Olivia Dravel.”

“Yes, I remember you being all about business. So much so that you forgot you had people to care about.”

He sighed in frustration and you smirked at how easy it was to push his buttons. His partner looked thoroughly entertained.

“Where’d you find this one Jet? College football practice?” you jested. The agent laughed to himself as you shot him a wink.

“Enough F/N.” He began placing down pictures of a very dead Olivia and you turned your head away. “What can you tell us about the email Petty Officer Dravel sent you last night telling you that she finally had enough information?”

“I don’t know. I barely talked with her, she only reached out to me to ask about one of my investors.”

“Ian Chandler?”

“Yeah, she thought he was involved in something shady like shell corporations but wouldn’t tell me anymore than that. I asked Ian about it but he told me she was just a disgruntled employee.”

“Did she ever mention how she was planning on confronting him or meeting up with him?”

“No. Like I said, she barely talked with me.”

“Well she seemed to put a lot of trust in someone she barely talked to Y/N! She sent you a total of 10 emails, all regarding her findings on Ian Chandler, what are you not telling me?”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you Jethro! I didn’t see any emails from her, the only conversation I had with her was in person and I already told you what it was about! You know me. I wouldn’t withhold any information from something like this!”

He just sat there silently, brows slightly furrowed and arms crossed, studying me. Very rarely had I seen the upset side of Jethro, let alone angry side and it was definitely a culture shock.

“You’ve gotten cold, Jet,” you spoke quietly, not able to look him in the eyes. A minute went by in silence, just the feel of his stare on you.

“Who else has access to your emails?” His voice was softer now.

“Just me and my assistant, Cheryll.”

He wrote a few things down in a little notepad and stood up, nodding to his partner.

“Torres. Escort Miss L/N back to the lobby, she’s free to leave.”

And just like that, he was gone. Just like 5 years ago. You held back the tears threatening to fall, not sure they were from being interrogated or from him leaving so coldly. So much for keeping those wounds closed.

[shirefantasies]

LIFE/BLOG UPDATE

Posted something that was mostly done and hastily finished today and wow I was not expecting some of the replies I got! Seeing things like ‘return of the queen’ or even that people missed me was very flattering! I kind of just came on here because I forgot this blog existed and got a weird curiosity about my own creation 😆 but now that I’m back, here are some updates for everyone 💕

✿ I’ve moved out of the house where I was receiving enough negativity to feel worthless and suicidal and bullied about my sexuality, so now I have been months self-harm and ideation free and finally fully just accepted that I truly am bisexual and that truly is no big deal. It’s ok. And for once in my life I don’t care about what my parents say or think about me because I’ve lost a lot of respect for them and achieved so much happiness with our distance and have great people who do accept me even for all the things my mother told me repulsed people.

✿ For the first time in my life I’m in a happy and healthy relationship and it’s the most amazing thing in the world 🥹 I’ve never been understood, loved, and hyped like this before and had someone so wonderful and supportive who feels easy to be around and like home! After my last abusive relationship about 2 years ago, I literally cannot believe my luck and even though we haven’t been official very long yet, I could see this being the one 🤞🏻🥺🥰

✿ My first book, the anthology, that I intend to publish is almost entirely done!!!

✿ I’m officially getting, and going to be, a sister-in-law soon 🥹

✿ Blog-wise I’m not yet taking requests because I don’t know yet the volume I’ll be posting, so I hope you guys understand I’m easing into whatever will be comfortable! And now with therapy and moving I actually have a backbone so I don’t feel like a doormat about this anymore muahahaha >:3

✿ I have some drafts I may work on, both LoTR and The Hobbit, just not on any particular schedule and at my leisure! But definitely if I be writing, I return to my promise about representing every character as much as possible and trying my best to make all readers feel included and specify more ‘exclusive’ imagines such as gendered reader, pregnant reader, etc. 😌

✿ Ya girl is NEVER doing matchups again 😎 this is for my own mental health because frankly they were so overwhelming, time consuming, stressful, and the one request set that I consistently got no respect in. As much as I enjoyed the results when people were happy, respectful, and thankful, I often got people who would tell me they knew I wasn’t doing them but should put them first in line when I did, a blog who reached out to me personally with very elaborate detailed matchup requests who wouldn’t answer if they liked it, never thanked me or even reblogged it and made me feel like I put a lot of work into something they didn’t even like (and were rude another time, so subsequently got blacklisted from requesting from me again!). And my mental health is too good to feel like shit again over something silly so I hope you guys understand 🥰

✿ For now I’m leaving the hiatus note up just as I see where things go, but if my spark stays and this joy continues I hope to remove it again even if I don’t quite open requests! The spark was gone for so long and having it back in any capacity is worth celebrating, so I hope we can all do that together 💃🏻

THANK YOU GUYS FOR LOVE AND SUPPORT EVEN MONTHS LATER AND THROUGH CHANGES AND UNKNOWNS 🥰

[mononijikayu]

bu wang — ryomen sukuna.

In the quiet sanctuary of his domain, surrounded by the echoes of the past and the shadows of the future, Ryomen Sukuna found a semblance of solace. Your memory lived on, tender of light in the darkness of his immortal existence. He was determined for it to last. He was determined to tie your destiny together, no matter what. And as long as he drew breath, he would ensure that you were revered, loved, and remembered by all who served him. He will live forever, to be with you like this.

GENRE: Heian Era to Shibuya Arc, 2018;

WARNING/s: Alternate Universe ─ Canon Divergence, Romance, Emotional Hurt, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Heavy Pining, Domesticity, Friends to Lovers, Character Death, Grief, Miscarriage, Mention of Depression, Mention of Mourning, Depiction of Physical Touch, Depiction of Mental Anguish, Depiction of Violence, Depiction of Harm, Depiction of Blood and Wounds, Depiction of Miscarriage, Depiction of Death, Depiction of Harm, Pseudo-Incest, Adoptive Cousins, Portrayal of Misogynist And Degrading Acts and Language, Smut, Detailed Depiction of Sex, Depiction of Sexual Foreplay, Sexual Penetration, Consensual Sex;

masterlist

ashes of love

song: bu wang by wang yibo

ko-fi

note: i was going to write this two days ago, but i ended up cleaning and sleeping my room after the mess of exams. please pray that my exams and my grades end up well, thank you~ anyway im on my vacation this time around, so ill be around more than you probably would like. i might start updating ko-fi too~ i might write an extra chapter about you (hiromi) and sukuna's short but blissful married life!!! anyway, enjoy this chapter, much love my darlings <3

IT HAD BEEN A SOLITARY EXISTENCE.  But he supposed that hardly mattered to anyone. Perhaps not even to himself. Ryomen Sukuna had learnt that nothing was ever worth keeping around for that long, nor getting that close to someone for that long. He had learned that too easily, as a human. But it was useless for him to pretend that he was a human being. He was not. He was all but a god that long forgot he wasn’t human.

Eighty years have drifted away like autumn leaves since your death, yet the memories remain vivid, haunting Sukuna's every waking moment. He had watched life blossom and life rot into flames. Over and over, generation after generation, he was the only one that had yet changed.  And perhaps never will. He knew that too well. It has been more than a century now. A century where he had burned off all that came with humanity and left only what could be that blank space that will never be full again.

In the secluded echoes of Hida, where the mountains whispered secrets to the wind, Ryomen Sukuna had chosen his solitude. It is not to say that Sukuna does not open his doors to worshippers, to people who long for his aid, to people who long to leave those offerings.

But that isolation keeps Sukuna aware that he is above all those around him. And there above, looking down through the mountain passes, how small those were above him — he realized how truly solitary the throne he sat at. The same throne he never thought he would ever seat in a hundred years or so of this wretched life.

Still, even with that isolation, he still had companions. He had servants full to the brim in these halls, who one after the other took to his every need. Though, it was Uraume who served him most faithfully. And at times, he was given women to pleasure him, as either sacrifices to keep their villages safe or as war prizes for each sorcerer village was pillaged. Sukuna however had little interest in such pleasures. He supposed that too died with his humanity. But perhaps that was a relief on the part of the women around his harem. 

In all that time, he found himself preoccupied. With their fleeting bravado, Jujutsu sorcerers came and went, defeated one after another, like moths drawn to a flame that inevitably consumed them. One after another, they came, at the behest of one of their lords or those wretched senile cunts. They all died the same.

He thinks that sparked quite the ire in Mikoto Masaomi, who kept sending his best sorcerer one after another. Each one failed their master and disaster led to Sukuna laughing at the fact that he was still alive, unchanged, unbothered by the man he had once known all too well.

He supposed that the same could be said about all the curses that had come his way. In these years, Ryomen Sukuna had nearly subjugated all the curses that plagued Japan, bending them to his indomitable will. Each and every one watched as one of their own died by his hands and more fell to their knees bowing with tears in their eyes, begging for mercy. He supposed that Masaomi was correct about one thing — the name King of Curses suited him better than the Fallen. 

But he supposed that Masaomi could no longer entertain Sukuna with such names. He had long died in his sleep and his only child, Masuyo, replaced him. Just like her mother, the girl ascended her seat as clan head. But Sukuna remembers that she was barely a girl of ten and five then.

The girl was younger than her siblings by years. He had only seen that girl once, and it was as if those eyes from a hundred years ago haunted him. The same eyes before the gods claimed you as their champion. Hazel glares like a tree bark under the summer burn. Tender features that were as pale as crystal snow. Sukuna wonders if she can wonder if ghosts do exist. Perhaps then he would have asked her. Yet he could not ask her.

And he did not ever. He let them do as they pleased, as they had let him do — and in the end, he never saw her again. She succumbed to that one winter illness, twenty years ago. Her children followed suit and left a lordling in the chair, barely aged five. And once again, a weak link is shown in the blood of majesty.

Sukuna had always known that the moment you had dulled the blood with that man, the name would falter and so would follow everything else. Everything that had been sacrificed perhaps was for nothing. In the same inch of stone his father died in, were pitiful hungry lesser men arguing over who should be the boy’s regent.

But that was not his to give any care about.

Ryomen Sukuna supposed that he can only watch.

Mortal beings and their squabbles were not his own.

Time had no dominion over Sukuna like it did for everyone else; he remained untouched by its relentless passage. While everything around him withered and succumbed to decay, he stood unchanged, an eternal monolith. The world cowered before him, acknowledging his unrivaled power, yet with all that power — he could not explain how none of it could fill the emptiness gnawing at his soul.

He had long forgotten the essence of human emotion, the tender intricacies of joy, sorrow, and love. After all, he was immortal. What use are the squabbles of humankind to a godly king like him?

Still, each day, a ritual of remembrance unfolded in the depths of his mind. Somehow, that was all that could make humanity echo in a god’s heart.  Since that fateful day they had parted, only you could linger in his thoughts, a ghost of the past refusing to fade. Near hundred years had passed and he could not forget how you both parted. How the snow fell like frozen tears, how the red of childbirth scattered the pavement, how your lilac eyes lost life ever so fast.

Sukuna did not know how to feel about it. But he knew, as he had been human, that your memory was a bittersweet refrain, an echo of a life that once brimmed with meaning. At this time, he could remember every detail, every moment. Yet, he could not remember the sound of your voice or your sighs of relief. The harmony of your tears, the battle cry to bring life. 

Nor could he remember the warmth of your touch or the drum of your laughter. But perhaps, he thinks, it was for the best. It was for the best to little by little forget what remained. You were no longer here. You weren’t here for him to have anymore — and yet….why have you stayed ever so constant? Why have you stayed so near and yet so far? He could not understand it. And perhaps he never will. But it was best he did not ask, nor think about asking. The was never going to be a point in it.

He doesn’t sleep much, he doesn’t need it.

But at times, Ryomen Sukuna likes to pretend.

And think about those days when you were there.

IT WAS ALWAYS QUITE A UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY. One that not even Ryomen Sukuna had thought would ever happen. This day of peace, rare and fragile, had dawned upon the Jujutsu world, granting Sukuna a brief respite from the ceaseless and dull conflict. Not that Sukuna thought it helped much. He could easily turn the table upon these people. But he thinks that they’ll bore him and it would not even be worth it. 

There was not a thought to him that he would ever agree to this day. But nearly four decades ago, it was what had become the common ground. The emperor and Fujiwara did not like it. Nor did Sukuna, if he was being honest. Yet it has. And he was here, a spectacle to those he passed by who cowered and lowered their eyes. Some had knelt and mumbling prayers. 

The imperial soldiers immediately sprung to bring them to their feet once more. The whole trail to the capital was full of them. He could only snicker. What could human beings do to a god? Not even sorcerers were enough. Sukuna though could admire the strength in the mortals before him. Many who had bowed,  they would not dare stand, not even when kicked and slapped. Some merely stood their ground, defiant as they stared at him down. Sukuna would have snickered, but he didn’t think he could bring himself to care about such trivial humanity. And so he just left them be.

On this sacred day was the only day he had the freedom to take leave of movement without the need to start a fight. Master Tengen had advised it, the old man Gojo and the lordling Mikoto approved it — what little choice did the emperor truly had? Ryomen Sukuna doubts that the Fujiwara would say anything about it. Not even forty years ago, their power too was easily crumbling, especially the powerful branch he had annihilated completely. Besides, it was one day, nothing more. 

But in that one day, the imperial capital was secured. He could not remember who these people were – but their clan badges informed him of who these nameless faces were. Mikoto, Gojo, Inumaki, Azuma, Kamo, Zenin — the latter two were ever so reluctant, he was certain. The others he was certain were around the emperor and the non-sorcerer branch of the political Fujiwara. 

All these folks were not truly as free as their counterparts from a hundred years ago. All these pampered brats are now from a generation which had led lives within the imperial capital’s walls. Experienced as they may, Ryomen Sukuna thinks that they would never be able to achieve what their ancestors have. Ever since the emperor had demanded them to move to the capital after the wars that had taken much, they had all become the system’s lackeys. 

In these many years, Ryomen Sukuna too had made himself an enemy of the emperor. Such conflicts that had brewed over the century had been worrisome to the crown and more so – the main branch of the Fujiwara, who held the throat of the emperor. But he could hardly care. And they knew that he would not care. Not once in his life could he. 

Uraume walked silently beside him, a shadowy presence that never wavered. They do not talk as much as Sukuna thought they would. His little servant had been an interesting one, always have been. But he supposed he had gotten used to that in all these many years. In the loudness of the world, Sukuna appreciated a space where there is silence. Years ago, it was in your arms, underneath the tree by that koi pond. But times have changed. And those moments would never repeat ever again. Uraume provides what they could. And perhaps it was enough.

As they traveled even further, bypassing Mikoto land, Ryomen Sukuna's thoughts meandered through almost a century of existence. The forest loomed ahead closer and closer and for a moment, a brief echo of memory pondered in his head. As though such memory mattered. You both had once sought refuge, fleeing the wrath of the Fujiwara. The trees whispered secrets of the past, their leaves rustling with tales that will never be known to anyone but to him and you.

“This place…..I recognize it.” Sukuna murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Do you, Sukuna–sama?”

“But it’s from a long time ago….I shan’t speak of it.”

Uraume nodded, a silent sentinel, understanding the weight of those memories. “Of course, Sukuna–sama.”

Sukuna wonders why he even spoke. But perhaps it was a forced habit, one that he had still yet perfected in abandoning. As they moved on and on, he could see the grassy plains that made up the Ryomen hunting grounds. It was the bane of his existence; how he could remember the way you would complain about the mud during the monsoon. How he remembered that night you both stayed long enough to see the bountiful firefly blossom in the fields. How he remembered how close you were in embrace. He could feel his mouth dry.

But it was the sight of Ryomen Manor that struck the deepest chord. The once grand estate had diminished, its former glory a shadow of what it had been. The Mikoto clan now occupied it, attempting to emulate the past magnificence of the Ryomen, but failing to capture its true essence. Ryomen Sukuna could barely allow himself to look at it. To even think that it was something that he could think of as home. It was nothing that it should be,  that was for certain. And now that the MIkoto have resided in the imperial capital — this shall be left in shambles now. And soon forgotten, a relic of a past that most people will question.

“This was my home,” Sukuna thinks to himself, his inner voice laced with a rare bitterness. “They have taken everything, even our name. Mikoto... they usurped what was rightfully ours.”

He does not know what sears inside him as he looks at it. It was as though it was never truly what it was. Ryomen Sukuna could feel every echo of his face turn into what could be taken as anger. Is this what he had sacrificed his whole life for? For the home that gave him something, to be left by all that it had sheltered, with nothing? Had it all been for nothing? After all this time? 

Uraume looked at him, as though trying to judge their master’s feelings. “Sukuna–sama?”

“We shall occupy that space, sooner or later.” Sukuna retorted to his servant. “It shan’t fall into disrepair.”

Those red eyes burned with anger. Uraume pursed their lips into a flat line and bowed. “Of course, my lord.”

In that sudden stillness, an echo from the past reached him. Somehow, he doesn’t remember whose voice it was. But as tender as it was, as warm as it was, as human as it was — he could only think that it was yours. He could only ask himself, if your voice ever sounded this soft and this haunting. He could not understand the words that were being said. It was as if it was another language, a long forgotten one that he would never be able to understand in his whole lifetime. 

But you were smiling at him, telling him something that would have made his heart flutter all those years ago. Has your smile truly ever been this pure? Has such truth in your person ever been this wondrous? He does not know. And perhaps, he will never know ever again. But he doesn’t know if he had it in him to wish that he never could. Not even who he is now understands what he wants. So, all he could do was let you haunt him. Let you haunt him in ways not even he could understand. And even then, he has to keep moving forward, as he always has.

The living always has to move forward.

There must always be life lived even unwanted.

That’s what he must always strive to do.

“Are you sure that you need nothing of me, Sukuna–sama?”

“Yes.” He answers in a flat tone, his feet facing forward. “Walk, Uraume. Follow.”

“Of course, Sukuna–sama.”

IF HE WAS BEING HONEST, HE HATED THE IMPERIAL CAPITAL. Ryomen Sukuna detested venturing into enemy territory. Even back then, when he had been a regular man, the thought of going to the imperial capital, even to do his duty as a sorcerer, was unpleasant. The crown hated sorcerers. They had to tolerate them because their lives, their destinies, were tied to the world of sorcery. Prosecutions had been done a thousand times over and over again. But each time, the futile idea of unity offered by one side or the other was what happens. And even then, the cycle of animosity continues.

Each step he took into the heart of the imperial capital felt like a betrayal to his own spirit, a reminder that you had died because of these people, for these people. The closer he got to the imperial capital’s center, the more he realized how vapid these foolish little humans are. Over and over again, they gawk, and they complain, they ask if they could go home already. They roll their eyes or shake their heads at the importance of what occurs on this day each year.

The thought of it gnawed at him, fueling a rage that simmered just below the surface. None of them knew the true cost of their peace, the blood that had been spilled for their sake. It was as if sorcerers died for nothing, it was as if what he had lived through all this time mattered little. What you had died for mattered, fought and died for mattered little. The peace you died for, to prevent any more animosity that could kill any of these pathetic beings — and they take it for granted. And every time, each year, he saw their oblivious faces, he wanted to kill them all.

Uraume, ever perceptive, noticed the darkening storm within him. "Is there anything you need, my lord?" they asked quietly.

Ryomen Sukuna remained silent as they continued on. He could not put himself in a position where he could cause an issue. Of all days, he thinks he shouldn’t. And so, he keeps his mouth shut. The red eyed towered everyone as he entered the widened gates. They had widened it to fit him, he was certain. The strident guards lowered their heads, refusing to acknowledge him. But he could hardly care. 

Uraume followed suit as he approached the inner courtyard of the  newly established Gojo Manor. The grand building loomed ahead, a symbol of the power and influence of the Gojo clan. Entering its gates, Sukuna's gaze fell upon an old man standing before him, eyes covered with Ryomen bandages. Despite his frail appearance, the old man before him could only exude a calm strength, standing with the aid of a cane but without a trace of fear.

"My six eyes see that you are still young, Sukuna-dono," the old man greeted, his voice steady.

"Your brain has yet to rot, I see… old man." Sukuna replied, a cold edge to his tone. “Have you no intention to die already?”

The gasp and whispers that echo that came from the vassals, members of court and the members of the Gojo household could not be any louder. Each year, they seem to be shocked by the audacity of the King of Curses. He had no crass no desire to abide by rules which do not apply to him. All were silenced by the rumbling of the old man’s chest into bumbling laughter. Sukuna sighed as he looked at the old man, the Gojo crest proudly wrinkled by such laughter.

The old man snickers soon after, releasing a raspy sound. "The gods keep their servant on the earth for a little more time, I suppose. And one should honor that! Besides, one must keep a sharp wit, even if the brain is too wrinkled.”

“I do not understand why the gods keep you with us this long.” The red eyed curse user sighed. “Are you not tired at all, old man? A hundred and so, and still parading like this, Gojo.”

“Why not? Retirement is too dull.” The old man retorted back to the curse user. “Besides, I must keep my sons and grandsons on their toes. They wouldn’t leave long enough if they covet only.”

He snorts at the old man’s words. “The tongue of a pompous soul.”

“Of course, there must be one that remains.”

“I doubt we need one that remains.”

The old man laughs, shaking his head at Sukuna. From what he had heard, the old man had not been in the best of health this past spring and autumn. But perhaps Sukuna should expect that. Gojo Seiryuu was well the age expected of any mortal that could even come close. And even more so for someone who wields the power of the six-eyes and limitless, living this long was a miracle. Sukuna was not stupid to assume that he had any years left, he was not going to last any longer. 

With some luck, there will be a year or two, maybe if there is something like a miracle, there will be a couple more. But peace will shatter once he dies. With the way the Gojo clan looked at him, no one else would be happy to curry any friendships with him. Fragile as it was, it was the best he and Sukuna had managed to stand upon. If his time comes, Sukuna cannot promise anything.

"I hope the journey wasn’t too tiresome, Sukuna–dono." the old man continued, his smile unwavering. “The roads are not of good import as of late. The ministers have been wasting good money, you see!”

“They’re corrupt as they come, I wouldn’t expect anything else.” Sukuna retorts, earning another round of gasp and whispers. “I would have thought you would have already unseated the bastards.”

“Now, now, don’t make it seem like I’m planning something bad or anything.” The old man says, causing Sukuna to roll her eyes. “But we shall talk about that sometime. I ask again, if the trip went well?”

"It was what must be done." Sukuna responded, his voice devoid of warmth. “It is part of our agreement, after all.”

"As always, you aren’t expressive." the old man observed, a hint of amusement in his tone.

Sukuna's eyes narrowed, his patience wearing thin. "And if that was the case? I do not think that my expressiveness ought to be welcomed by a crowd who holds no kindness towards me.”

The old man's smile faded slightly, but he held Sukuna's gaze steadily. "I merely wished to welcome you and offer my respects—”

Sukuna's jaw clenched, his fists tightening at his sides. "Your fellow human’s respect is of little value to me, old man. Remember, it is not what I hear for.”

The old man sighed and nodded his head. "Very well, Sukuna–dono. I shall lead you with me to the crypt, as I always have.”

Old lord Gojo nodded to everyone, making his way to the front. Sukuna followed as the old man’s cane led the path forward. Uraume bowed his head along with the others, before following suit. The others whispered over and over, muttering those same pathetic gossip over and over. Ryomen Sukuna wondered when their palms would sweat, when they realized that such peace was over.

Ryomen Sukuna pitied humanity for a moment.

He pitied what would become of them soon enough.

But once again, he could care less what happens to them.

IN THAT TIME, THERE HAD BEEN SOMETHING OF A FRAGILE PEACE.In the fleeting expanse of time, enduring peace was an anomaly, a delicate thread stretched taut across the centuries. For Ryomen Sukuna, the longevity of such tranquility was a marvel in itself. How had this fragile peace between the Gojo clan and the Mikoto clan persisted over eight decades? It was an uneasy truce, teetering on the edge of mutual distrust yet holding firm, a precarious balance that upheld a semblance of stability in the nation.

It was not born of desire but of necessity, forged by the relentless currents of power and obligation that bound them all. Sukuna, too, found himself caught in its web, his existence intertwined with the legacy of his beloved Hiromi and the intricate web of alliances and enmities that shaped their world.

Their children, heirs to both the burdens and hopes of their lineage, were bound by this accord, their destinies entwined with the echoes of past conflicts and the uncertain future that lay ahead. Each day, they walked the tightrope of peace, knowing that any misstep could unravel the fragile tapestry that held their world together.

In this precarious dance of diplomacy and duty, Sukuna pondered the fragility of their existence, the weight of history pressing down upon them like an unseen hand. How long could this peace endure? Would their children inherit a world of harmony or one torn asunder by the ghosts of the past?

As Sukuna looked out over the tranquil landscape, he knew that despite the uncertainties, they must endure. For in the delicate balance between war and peace, between love and duty, lay the essence of their existence—a legacy forged in the crucible of time, bound by the unyielding resolve of those who dared to dream of a future where peace could prevail.

For nearly fifty years, Ryomen Sukuna had cradled you, entrusting your body to the icy embrace of Uraume's cursed technique. Encased in an intricate ice coffin, your form remained untouched by the passage of time, suspended in a state of ethereal beauty.

The ice coffin, a masterpiece of Uraume's craftsmanship, rested at the heart of the grand audience hall. Above it, the ceiling soared high, adorned with intricate tiles blooming with gold and pearls. Rays of sunlight filtered through stained glass windows, casting shimmering reflections upon the smooth surface of the ice. It was a scene that seemed crafted for you alone, as if the very heavens conspired to honor your presence.

The hall itself echoed with a hushed reverence, the air heavy with the scent of ancient wood and the distant whisper of wind through tall, slender pillars. Shadows danced upon the walls, playing out a silent homage to your silent repose. Around you, the world moved in slow, measured steps, as though holding its breath in deference to your stillness.

Sukuna stood at the threshold, his gaze lingering upon your serene countenance. The flickering light painted your features in shades of silver and blue, accentuating the delicate lines of your face and the graceful curve of your hands folded over your chest. Time seemed to stand still in this sacred space, where beauty and sorrow intertwined in a poignant testament to love and loss.

As Sukuna looked upon you, he felt a pang of longing and remorse, his heart heavy with memories that stretched across decades. Here, amidst the opulence of the hall and the quiet majesty of your presence, he found solace and sorrow entwined. At least that was left true to what remained in his humanity for you.

Each day, Sukuna gazed upon you, venerating you as if you were a goddess. To him, you were a deity, a symbol of his defiance against the world that had taken you from him. In his dominion, Sukuna decreed that everyone must bow to you as they bowed to him. They must make prayers for your immortality, as they do with his own. 

Your presence commanded reverence, your memory immortalized in the rituals of his followers. Offerings were left at your shrine, tokens of respect and devotion, as though you were a living deity among them. It was the respect he thinks you were owed in your lifetime. If you would not get it in your life, then he would make sure he would give it to you now.

Sukuna stood before the ice coffin, his eyes tracing the delicate features of the wonder of your face. You looked as serene as you had in life, untouched by the ravages of time. You didn’t age and he does not want you to. He does not want to see you as anything else as what he had fallen in love with. You cannot be ash, not when you were still with him. Not when he still needed you.

"You are still with me," he whispered, his voice a blend of sorrow and reverence. "They will remember you, as they remember me. You are not forgotten."

Uraume, standing nearby, watched their master with quiet understanding. They had seen the pain etched into Sukuna's soul, the unending ache of loss. "Sukuna–sama," Uraume said softly, "Hiromi–samaremains as you wished. We have tended to Hiromi–sama well, Sukuna–sama. Please be rest assured—”

Sukuna nodded, his gaze never leaving you. "It is not enough, Uraume." he murmured. "It will never be enough. But….I must endure this. Being all I have.”

In the quiet sanctuary of his domain, surrounded by the echoes of the past and the shadows of the future, Ryomen Sukuna found a semblance of solace. Your memory lived on, tender of light in the darkness of his immortal existence. He was determined for it to last. He was determined to tie your destiny together, no matter what. And as long as he drew breath, he would ensure that you were  revered, loved, and remembered by all who served him. He will live forever, to be with you like this. 

After fifty years of solemn reverence, a fragile peace shattered in an instant. Those vexing, arrogant, thieves, those sons of Gojo Seiryuu, driven by ambition or folly, dared to steal the ice coffin that had cradled you for decades, spiriting it away to their clan. Ryomen Sukuna could never believe that such thieves would ever have the intention of care. 

Sukuna's fury erupted like a tempest unleashed, his heartache and rage merging into a torrential storm of wrath. In his grief-stricken fury, he embarked on a relentless rampage that tore through days and weeks. His presence was a whirlwind of destruction, leaving scorched earth and shattered remnants of lives in his wake.

Every step reverberated with the weight of betrayal and loss. Each strike echoed the anguish of fifty years of vigilance, shattered in a single act of defiance. In his wake, silence mingled with the cries of those who dared oppose him, their defiance crushed beneath the relentless tide of his fury.

The land trembled beneath his wrath, the skies darkened with his anguish. Sukuna's grief fueled a merciless onslaught, a testament to the depths of his despair and the ferocity of his love. For in that stolen moment, he lost more than an artifact—he lost a tether to his past, a relic of solace in a world fraught with turmoil.

As the rampage subsided and the echoes of his fury faded into the ether, Sukuna stood amidst the wreckage, his chest heaving with exhaustion and sorrow. It was then that Gojo Seiryuu had made himself known and came to confront the King of Curses. He stood below the throne Sukuna occupied, the elder man with dark red eyes gleaming as the man who had his cover.  The tension between them was palpable, a volatile mix of anger and determination. One could feel heat release from the echoes of his nostrils. 

"Sukuna-dono," Seiryuu began, his tone steady despite the danger he faced, "We must talk."

Sukuna's eyes blazed with fury. "Talk? You dare speak, talk of some ridiculous peace after what you've done? I will kill you, Seiryuu. You useless, impotent brat!”

A deadly silence followed, then Ryomen Sukuna released a barrage of the world-cutting slash aimed directly at Seiryuu. But a shimmering barrier materialized around him, absorbing the attack with ease. Gojo Seiryuu stepped forward, undeterred by Sukuna's rage. Sukuna’s eyes raged as it narrowed darkly against the Gojo clan leader. 

"You have to understand, Sukuna–dono." Seiryuu said, his voice calm yet resolute, "This is not where my mother belongs."

Sukuna's expression twisted with anger and pain. "Hiromi was my person first."

Seiryuu's gaze softened, a rare glimpse of vulnerability. "Your Hiromi was my only mother. And I was robbed of her. That bond you claim cannot surpass a son’s love.”

The words hung heavily in the air. Sukuna's breath came in ragged gasps, his mind a maelstrom of emotions. He wanted to tear Seiryuu apart, to reclaim what had been stolen from him. But beneath the fury, a sliver of understanding pierced his heart.

"Hiromi was everything to me." Sukuna said, his voice breaking.

"And my mother was everything to us," Seiryuu replied gently. "We need my mother as much as you do."

Sukuna's hands clenched into fists, knuckling white with the intensity of his emotions. His chest heaved with each breath, the weight of grief and anger pressing down upon him like a suffocating shroud. For a long, agonizing moment, he stood amidst the ruins of his sanctuary, caught between the overwhelming urge to unleash his fury and the desperate need to hold onto the memories that bound him.

Every fiber of his being screamed with anguish, a primal roar of betrayal echoing through his soul. The theft of the ice coffin, the violation of her sacred resting place, tore at him with a visceral pain that threatened to consume him whole. Images of you, serene and ethereal in your icy repose, haunted his thoughts, your presence now torn from him like a cruel jest of fate.

Memories flooded his mind—moments shared, promises made, and a love that transcended time itself. He remembered the tender touch of your hand, the warmth of your smile, and the unspoken vows that bound them together. And now, to see your resting place desecrated, stolen away by those who sought to defy his authority, ignited a fury within him that burned hotter than any flame.

His surroundings blurred as tears of rage and sorrow welled in his eyes, the lines between reality and memory blurring in a haze of anguish. The air crackled with unseen energy, the very atmosphere vibrating with the intensity of his emotions. Each heartbeat echoed like a thunderclap in the stillness of the aftermath, a testament to the tempest raging within him.

Slowly, Sukuna lowered his head, his fists unclenching as he fought to regain control over the tumultuous storm raging within. His gaze hardened with resolve, determination flickering in the depths of his crimson eyes. He turns to look at the younger man. 

"Very well." Sukuna finally said, his voice raw with emotion. "But know this: if you ever dishonor all of your mother’s memory, I will end you and everything you hold dear. This I swear, on a binding vow.”

Seiryuu nodded, understanding the gravity of the promise. "I swear on my life, we will honor my mother as what fits a clan leader of such rank."

“No.” He contests the clan leader, his eyes full of hurt. “Your mother….,my…..your mother is a goddess. Do not lessen such importance.”

“I shan’t.” He whispers back to him. “I am my mother’s son too. I hold too much devotion to not treat my mother a goddess.”

“....Very well.”

Silence engulfs them both as the words reverberated.

Sukuna turns his head away, his shoulders slumped.

Seiryuu purses his lips in a line as he tries to talk once more.

“You may see my mother, if you would like.” Seiryuu whispers to the curse user. “I shall have it arranged. You have my word.”

Ryomen Sukuna could not say anything else. As Seiryuu departed, The King of Curses watched him go, a storm of emotions raging within him. You were gone, taken to where you were also cherished, but the pain of your absence was a wound that would never heal. In the silence that followed, the King of Curses was left with his grief, his memories, and the bitter taste of a love that transcended even death.

Years later, Sukuna once more entered the crypt, his presence commanding attention and evoking a mixture of anger and disgust from those who watched him. He paid them no mind, his focus solely on the figure before him. Your body lay as perfectly preserved as the day he had last seen you, a testament to Uraume’s cursed technique. For a moment, he felt a glimmer of humanity, a faint light piercing through his demonic nature. Seiryuu, noticing the intensity of the moment, dismissed everyone from the crypt. Once they were alone, the tension between them grew palpable.

"Is it true, what I’ve been hearing?" Sukuna’s voice was low, barely masking the simmering rage beneath. "That your mother’s body is to be burned once and for all?"

Seiryuu met Sukuna’s gaze, his expression somber. "Yes, it’s true. It was an agreement between siblings over the years. We believe it’s time to finally put our mother to rest."

A heavy silence settled over the crypt, suffocating in its weight. Sukuna stood before you, his gaze fixed upon your form encased in the ice coffin. Memories, once cherished and now tinged with sorrow, flooded back with a force that threatened to overwhelm him. 

The sight of you, serene and preserved in timeless beauty, stirred a maelstrom of emotions within him. The thought of your inevitable fate—ashes scattered to the winds—gnawed at his soul like a relentless tide eroding the shore. 

Each moment spent by your side, each shared heartbeat and whispered promise, replayed in his mind with agonizing clarity. The echo of your laughter, the warmth of your touch, the scent of your hair—all now locked in a sepulchral embrace that mocked his inability to protect you from the ravages of time and fate.

The world outside the crypt seemed distant and inconsequential, blurred by tears unshed and words unspoken. In this sacred chamber, where time stood still and memories loomed large, Sukuna grappled with the weight of his helplessness and grief.

The silence stretched on, broken only by the soft whisper of his breath and the faint rustle of fabric as he clenched his fists in anguish. Each passing moment etched deeper lines of sorrow upon his face, shadows dancing in the flickering light of candles that bore witness to his silent vigil.

He reached out, fingers trembling as if to touch the icy barrier that separated him from you. His hand hovered, suspended in the air, as if unsure whether to breach the sacred sanctum that held your essence captive.

And in that moment of vulnerability, Sukuna whispered, his voice barely audible in the stillness of the crypt, "I cannot bear to see you reduced to ashes, my love. Not after all we've endured."

“I am sorry…..if that is not what you wished to hear.”

“I do not wish to see it, I do not wish to hear it. None of it.”

Seiryuu nodded. "My mother deserves peace, Sukuna-dono. We all do. Keeping my mother preserved like this, it’s... it’s not right. It’s time to let go. It’s…it’s time to let my mother go, Sukuna–dono.”

Sukuna’s hands clenched at his sides, his mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. He had held onto you for so long, unable to accept your death, unable to move on. Now, faced with the finality of your cremation, your erasure from this earth, from your wholeness,  he felt a profound sense of loss. For a moment, he felt human again. But perhaps, he will always be like that – when it comes to you. Only you.

For a long moment, he said nothing, his gaze locked on your serene face. Then, with a heavy heart, he spoke. “I cannot accept it. Not like this.”

Seiryuu nodded, understanding the depth of Sukuna’s pain. “I know, Sukuna–dono.”

Sukuna turned away, the weight of his grief almost too much to bear. “Do what you must. As long as I….As long as there is a way….”

Silence settled between Seiryuu and Sukuna, thick and palpable, like the frosty stillness of a winter's night. It draped over them, heavy with unspoken words and unresolved emotions, casting a chill over the atmosphere that matched the solemnity of their surroundings.

For Seiryuu, the silence held a weight of regret and sorrow, a recognition of the rift that had widened between them despite their shared history and familial ties. It was a moment of introspection, where the consequences of past actions and decisions hung in the air like frozen breath.

Sukuna, too, felt the silence keenly. It wrapped around him, a stark reminder of his own tumultuous emotions—anger, grief, and a longing that he struggled to reconcile. In this frozen moment, he grappled with the realization that their paths diverged irreversibly, bound by duty and destiny yet separated by divergent ideals.

Between them, the silence became a canvas upon which their unspoken thoughts and regrets painted themselves in muted shades. It was a moment pregnant with the weight of their shared history, their intertwined fates now strained by the passage of time and the choices they had made.

As they stood in the stillness, each lost in their own contemplation, the silence spoke volumes. It echoed with the echoes of unspoken apologies, of wounds too deep to heal, and of a future uncertain yet inexorably linked. In this frozen tableau, Seiryuu and Sukuna are bound together by bonds of grief for the one they loved the most, frozen in the deathly echoes in front of them.

Seiryuu broke the heavy silence with a gentle voice. "I understand why you want to keep the body whole, Sukuna–dono. But you must know, it was never my mother’s wish to be brought back to life."

Sukuna’s eyes flashed with anger, and he cut him off sharply. "Hiromi did not say that. Hiromi never did—"

Seiryuu sighed, his expression weary but resolute. "Regardless, my mother wanted to be free from all of this pain. What you would do, in trying to revive this body, would only bring my mother more suffering. I don’t want that for my mother, Sukuna–dono. I ask of you, as a son. Please.”

Sukuna’s jaw tightened, his mind racing with the conflict of his desires and the harsh truth Seiryuu presented. The silence that followed was thick with unspoken emotions, a chasm between their understandings of love and loss.

"Do you really think I wish for Hiromi to suffer?" Sukuna finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper, laced with a raw vulnerability.

Seiryuu met his gaze, unwavering. "I know you loved my mother, Sukuna–dono. Mayhaps, you still do.  But sometimes, love means letting go. Letting go of ties that don’t let our loved ones rest in peace.”

The words hung in the air, pregnant with unspoken implications that weighed heavily on Sukuna's heart. Rage and sorrow churned within him like a tempest, battling for dominance over his thoughts and emotions. 

Sukuna stood at a crossroads, torn between conflicting desires that tugged at his very soul. On one hand, there was an unyielding urge to preserve you, to shield you from the inexorable march of time and the fate that threatened to extinguish your essence. The thought of losing you, of seeing your existence reduced to mere ashes scattered in the wind, clawed at his heart with a visceral ache.

Yet, intertwined with this desperate longing was a stark realization—a haunting awareness that his actions, driven by love and anguish, might inadvertently condemn you to a fate far worse than death. The weight of his power, the consequences of his choices, loomed large in his mind, casting a shadow over his every thought.

In the stillness that followed, Sukuna grappled with the cruel irony of his predicament. To keep you close meant defying the natural order, challenging the very fabric of existence itself. And yet, to let go—to surrender to the inevitability of your passing—felt like a betrayal of the love that had defined his existence for decades.

As he stood there, surrounded by the echoes of his turmoil, the silence bore witness to the tumult raging within him. His fists clenched, nails digging into his palms, as if seeking to anchor himself against the storm of emotions threatening to consume him whole.

The room, once filled with the quiet reverence of your presence, now crackled with an intensity born of uncertainty and fear. Each passing moment stretched into eternity, the weight of his decision pressing down upon him like a leaden cloak.

And amidst the turmoil of his heart, Sukuna knew that whatever choice he made would shape not only his own destiny but yours as well. For in the delicate balance between love and duty, between defiance and acceptance, lay the essence of his eternal struggle—an agonizing quest for redemption and a yearning for solace in a world where nothing was certain but the inevitability of change.

"Hiromi was everything to me, boy." Sukuna said, his voice breaking. “There was nothing else but Hiromi.”

"And to us too. My mother was everything to us," Seiryuu replied softly. "We all want my mother to be at peace.”

Another silence descended, denser and more profound than before, wrapping Sukuna in a suffocating embrace of solitude. His gaze remained fixed upon Hiromi's serene visage, preserved in eternal repose within the icy coffin. 

In the depths of his crimson eyes, a tempest of emotions raged unchecked. Anguish and longing mingled with a raw, gnawing grief that clawed at his heart like a relentless beast. The weight of loss pressed upon him, each breath a struggle beneath the burden of Seiryuu's words—words that resonated with painful clarity, cutting deeper than any physical wound ever could.

Sukuna knew, deep down, that Seiryuu's admonitions held truth. The inevitability of letting go, of releasing your spirit from the confines of earthly ties, bore down upon him with crushing force. Yet, accepting this truth was a wound unto itself—a wound that pierced through the very fabric of his being, leaving behind scars that no battle could ever erase.

The room around him seemed to constrict, suffused with a palpable stillness that mirrored the turmoil within his soul. Shadows danced upon the walls, casting elongated figures that whispered of past regrets and future uncertainties. Each moment stretched into eternity, time itself bending to accommodate the weight of his indecision and sorrow.

As he stood there, a solitary figure amidst the silent tableau of memories and regrets, Sukuna's hands trembled with the urge to reach out—to touch, to hold, to defy the relentless march of time. Yet, even as he yearned for solace in the familiarity of her presence, the truth remained a bitter pill to swallow—a truth that threatened to unravel the fragile threads of his resolve.

And in the hush that enveloped them both, Sukuna grappled with the agonizing truth that love, in its purest form, sometimes meant letting go. For in the depths of his heart, amidst the ache of separation and the anguish of acceptance, lay the essence of his eternal struggle—a struggle that would surely blossom from what he had left of you.

Seiryuu broke the silence with a question that pierced Sukuna's brooding thoughts. "Are you still asking, Sukuna–dono?”

Sukuna turned his head, a flicker of confusion crossing his features. "What are you talking about?"

Seiryuu's eyes held a depth of understanding as he clarified. "Are you still trying to find mother’s soul?"

Sukuna paused, the weight of the question settling heavily upon him. Your soul had vanished shortly after your death. Sukuna had felt it leave you. Sorcerers could always feel the energy of life leave. In all that time, Ryomen Sukuna had spent countless years searching for a way to retrieve it, to reunite your truest essence with your preserved body. He had worked all this time, trying to find a way to have you again.

Seiryuu shook his head slowly. "It’s no use. You should stop chasing the same madness that consumed the ancients. You will never find the answers you seek, nor the closure you crave. Neither will I. We will never find closure, only grief. And what better way to love than to grieve, until our dying day?"

Sukuna’s voice was low, almost resigned. "I don’t know if I can even die. Nor do I remember what it was to love."

Seiryuu chuckled softly, a sad yet knowing sound. "That's a pretense, Sukuna. All you have to do is look at my mother and you’ll remember."

A heavy silence enveloped them once more, each man lost in his own reflections. Finally, Sukuna broke the silence with a question of his own. "Where will Hiromi be buried?"

Seiryuu's gaze softened, filled with a mixture of sorrow and determination. "Mother’s ashes will be scattered between the Mikoto and the Gojo, but my mother’s heart will remain in Hida."

Sukuna's nod was solemn, his gaze lingering upon your serene countenance for what felt like an eternity. In the delicate lines of your face, he traced the echoes of a life once vibrant with purpose—a life intimately entwined with his own, now frozen in eternal repose.

Turning away felt like tearing himself from the essence of his existence, a painful severance from the one who had anchored his tumultuous soul. Yet, he knew that lingering would only prolong the agony, prolong the inevitable parting that fate had cruelly decreed.

As he stood at the threshold of the crypt, a profound sense of loss washed over him like a tidal wave. The weight of your absence bore down upon him with suffocating force, threatening to engulf him in a sea of despair. Each step away from your side felt like a betrayal of the love that had sustained him through decades of turmoil and strife.

But in that agonizing moment of departure, Sukuna found himself paralyzed by indecision. His hand hovered uncertainty in the air, fingertips brushing against the cold stone of the crypt. The room seemed to constrict around him, the walls closing in with the weight of unspoken regrets and unfulfilled promises.

Time stood still, suspended in the fragile balance between past and present, love and duty. His breath caught in his throat, chest tight with the ache of longing and the bitter taste of acceptance. The air crackled with unseen energy, the atmosphere heavy with the echoes of their shared history and the uncertainty of what lay ahead.

For a fleeting moment, Sukuna dared to imagine a future where your spirit could find peace, where the echoes of your presence would linger as a gentle whisper in the winds. But reality intruded with merciless clarity, reminding him that some wounds could never fully heal, some losses could never be reconciled.

And as he finally tore himself away, each step echoing like a tolling bell in the silence of the crypt, Sukuna carried with him the weight of a love that transcended time and a sorrow that echoed through the corridors of his soul.As the meeting drew to a close, Seiryuu turned to Sukuna with a probing look.

"Before you go, tell me about the little girl you sent to me.”

Sukuna's expression remained unreadable. "The girl is important to me."

Seiryuu raised an eyebrow, curiosity evident in his eyes. "She looks exactly like my mother, Sukuna–dono.”

"It’s better to ask little to no questions," Sukuna replied, his tone cold. "The more questions you ask, the more trouble it will bring."

Seiryuu sighed, shaking his head. "You must have been such a bore if your words always echoed like this."

Sukuna made no response, his gaze steely. "I hope I never see you again, Seiryuu, because next time, I will kill you."

Seiryuu laughed, a genuine sound that filled the crypt. "You say that every time, Sukuna, and yet you never follow through. Do you have respect for your elders after all?"

Sukuna snickered, a dark amusement flickering in his eyes. "I have none."

With a graceful bow, Seiryuu offered a final word. "Thank you for making the time to see off my mother."

Sukuna remained silent, his stoic demeanor a stark and powerful response in itself. With a heavy heart, he turned away from the stairwell, leaving behind the crypt and the haunting memories that clung to its walls like shadows. The weight of his grief, a burden he carried with the weight of centuries, hung heavy upon his shoulders, echoing the pain of a past that refused to be forgotten.

Stepping into the fading light outside, the world seemed to darken around him, the encroaching shadows a tangible reminder of the darkness that still gripped his heart. Each footfall echoed with a hollow emptiness, the void that now consumed him—a void that no victory in battle or conquest could ever hope to fill.

Returning to Hida, his sanctuary amidst the mountains, offered him no solace this time. The familiar quiet that had once been a refuge now felt suffocating, a relentless reminder of the emptiness that gnawed at his immortal soul. Decades of relentless striving, of conquering foes and amassing power, had left him adrift in a sea of purposelessness.

The once-glorious halls of his domain now echoed with the whispers of lost ambitions and unfulfilled desires. His immortal existence stretched out before him, devoid of meaning or direction. What had once driven him—the promise of power, the pursuit of vengeance, the longing for a love lost to time—now felt hollow and meaningless.

As Sukuna stood amidst the silent mountains, their peaks piercing the heavens like jagged scars, he wrestled with the bitter realization that even immortality offered no escape from the agony of longing and loss. Each passing moment only deepened the chasm within him, a gaping wound that no amount of conquest could heal.

And so, in the fading light of day, Sukuna stood alone—a titan brought low by the weight of his own immortality, haunted by the echoes of a past that refused to be buried. And it bored him. It pained him. It turned him bitter, too bitter to even understand why.

Sukuna called upon Uraume, who appeared before him with a respectful bow. "Sukuna–sama," Uraume greeted, their voice tinged with concern. “You asked to see me?”

Sukuna met their gaze, his eyes reflecting a restless determination. "I’ve heard tales of a cursed user, who introduces themself as a sorcerer traveling the lands, granting wishes," he began, surprising Uraume with the unexpected topic of conversation.

Uraume tilted their head, curious. "Why would you be interested in such a thing, Sukuna–sama?"

Sukuna’s expression darkened with a hint of anticipation. "There’s something I want to do," he said slowly, his voice carrying an edge of urgency. "And I need your assistance."

Uraume nodded solemnly, sensing the gravity of Sukuna’s request. "Whatever it is, Sukuna–sama, I am here to serve."

Sukuna's mind churned with tumultuous thoughts, each thought of a turbulent wave crashing against the shores of his consciousness. For centuries, he had roamed the earth with purpose, driven by a relentless hunger for power and a burning desire for vengeance. Yet, amidst the eons of battles fought and victories claimed, there remained a desire—a yearning that whispered to him in quiet moments, a longing that stirred the depths of his immortal soul.

The prospect of fulfilling this desire now loomed before him, tantalizing yet elusive. It was a pursuit that had consumed him in quiet moments of reflection, a quest that promised to satiate a hunger deeper than any he had known. The flickering flame of possibility danced on the horizon of his mind, casting shadows of doubt and determination in equal measure.

In the labyrinth of his thoughts, Sukuna weighed the consequences of his next move. The path ahead was fraught with uncertainty, veiled in the mists of destiny and obscured by the echoes of past decisions. To grasp this desire meant unraveling the fabric of his existence, risking everything he had fought to build and protect.

Yet, the allure was undeniable—a magnetic pull that drew him inexorably forward, defying reason and logic. It whispered promises of fulfillment, of reclaiming what had been lost, and of forging a future where his immortal existence could find purpose once more.

As he stood at the crossroads of destiny, Ryomen Sukuna's resolve hardened like steel. With each passing heartbeat, he embraced the uncertainty that lay ahead, knowing that the journey to fulfill his desire would test not only his strength but also the depths of his resolve.

He cannot face this world like this any longer.

There must be another way to live with excitement.

There must be another way to be with you again.

“Seek out that man they call Kenjaku.”

IT WAS A CONFUSING THING. You stood amidst the rugged terrain, surrounded by towering mountains that seemed to stretch endlessly into the sky. The air was crisp and tinged with the scent of pine, a stark contrast to the bustling wind that swept through the valleys below. Your long hair danced in the breeze, lilac eyes scanning the unfamiliar landscape with uncertainty.

You looked left and right, Your gaze tracing the jagged outlines of the peaks that framed your surroundings. The silence of the mountains enveloped you, broken only by the distant call of an eagle and the soft rustling of leaves in the breeze. Each direction seemed equally daunting, equally unknown.

You didn’t know this place, but you truly wish you did. Its contours were foreign, its secrets hidden within the folds of its ancient rocks and whispering forests. Yet, despite the uncertainty that gripped your heart, something stirred deep within the depths of your soul. A faint whisper, a subtle urging, compelled you to move forward. To find that way somewhere.

Your brow furrowed in concentration as you tried to make sense of the inner voice guiding you. It was elusive, a fleeting sensation like the touch of a distant memory. It urged you to move, to seek out something you couldn’t yet define. But you could feel it, in your gut, in your mind, in your heart, in your whole soul — that you need to be somewhere, that something is calling to you.

You could only close your eyes briefly, inhaling deeply as if to draw strength from the untamed wilderness around you. The soul dragons, ethereal creatures of legend, fluttered around you, their presence both mystical and comforting. These soul dragons, they were ephemeral and ancient. And yet they were kind to you as they soothed you and your edges. Souls were pure, they always had to be. They were protecting you with their ethereal forms shimmering with hints of iridescent colors as they circled in a dance.

You were sure that they came here to rescue you. Wandering souls are often ones that come by here, you were sure. And somehow, they seemed to sense how overwhelmed you were and in their shimmering forms weaving through the air as if to point the way, as if to guide you to a safe zone. And you were grateful, that there was at least something that could help you feel like you weren’t alone.

Uncertainty lingered in your heart, but so did determination. You knew you had to go somewhere, even if you couldn’t articulate why. With a final glance at the vast expanse before you, you took a deep sigh and put your trust in your new found companions. You took a hesitant step forward, trusting in the unseen currents that guided your path.

"Where do I belong?" you whispered softly, your voice barely audible over the gentle rustling of leaves. “Do you know where I should be?”

The soul dragons continued their mesmerizing dance, their movements synchronized as if in response to your question. You furrowed your brows, focusing. You looked around the two, trying to decipher their silent language, searching for clues in the patterns they traced against the clear blue sky. But you could only sigh. You don’t know what they were saying.

A voice, soft yet commanding, echoed in your mind, urging you to look at their dances harder. To understand what they were saying to you. You turned again, trying not to give up. Before you heard a sound. You yelped as you hid behind the dragons, who formed a wall around you. You looked to the side as you gulped. You peered for a small moment and  saw a figure approaching through the rocky terrain—a dark-haired man with an enigmatic smile on his lips.

"Are you lost, traveler?" the man asked, his voice carrying a warmth that belied the remote wilderness surrounding them. “I’m sorry, did I startle you?”

“N–not too much.” The dragons seemed unmoving as you moved to the side, but they followed you. You purse your lips. “I’m sorry….my friends here seem overprotective of me.”

He smiles back at you, shaking his head. “Not at all. Please don’t be concerned.”

You hesitated, uncertain whether to trust this stranger who seemed to appear out of nowhere. "I... I don't know…" you admitted, your gaze flickering between him and the soul dragons that hovered nearby. “I don’t know what to say.”

The man's smile widened, as if he understood the turmoil within her. "You're searching for something, aren't you?" he asked softly, his eyes holding a glimmer of knowing.

You could not help but nod slowly, a sense of relief mingling with trepidation. "I feel like I have to go somewhere," you confessed, your voice tinged with both hope and apprehension. “But I don’t know where or how to get there….I’m very….”

“Confused?”

You nodded at him. “I am…”

The man's expression softened, and he extended a hand towards you. "Then let me help you," he offered gently. "Tell me your wish, and I will guide you."

You looked into his eyes, eyes widened. “Do you… do you know who I am?”

“I do, I do know you.”

"Then…then….I… I long to remember who I am! And…and where I'm meant to go," you replied earnestly, your heart yearning for clarity. “Please tell me. Everything!”

The man's smile remained kind and reassuring. "I can help you with that," he said, his voice resonating with quiet assurance. “Don’t worry.”

You felt a surge of gratitude towards this stranger who offered to illuminate the path she sought. "What's your name?" you asked, curiosity sparking in your lilac eyes.

His smile widened as he responded, "My name is Kenjaku."

“And…..and what is my name?”

“I’ll tell you, on the way.” He takes his haori off and places it on top of your shoulder. “Do you trust me?”

You blinked at him. “I….I do.”

“Then trust me, wholeheartedly.”

Your eyes warmed as you nodded.

And so began, a thousand years of hell.

facts about the chapter

the chapter is 10k words long and it was just me trying to fit everything in one chapter knowing it would be rough if i split it into two.

i took out some stuff because the draft was not drafting the way i wanted. maybe like 2k words?

the entire chapter echoes a lot about sukuna's hypocrisy. he believes that he is a god, belittles humans and ends up being more human than most. seiryuu sees it the most in sukuna, and perhaps its why he keeps him around the most.

seiryuu is the only remaining child of hiromi still alive. he is in his 100s, which is a very rare feat in that time and being a six-eyes and limitless user, he is in fact very strained. no one knows how he lived that long.

the ode that mikoto masuyo wrote only lasted up until the death of hiromi. so only seiryuu knows about things that happened 80 years later.

the first to die was masako. she died in childbirth just ten years after her mother passed away. her last wish was to be with her mother, but she never got her wish.

the way the gojo clan stole hiromi's body back was to come when no one was around. sukuna at the time was called to the festival where he meets yorozu, whom he hates. it was put into the gojo clan manor in the capital, until the siblings could decide what to do.

sukuna talked about stealing ryomen manor and he does, for the next few years before the genpei war starts and begins. this is the time sukuna ended up dying and cutting himself into different pieces to be revived.

he renovated ryomen manor and made the entire thing have frescos of hiromi's life from beginning to end. its one of the marvels of ryomen manor, but we'll see this in us and them, but sukuna is displeased that they took out the part where he and hiromi fell and love and married - the mikoto do not in fact subscribe to the reality that they were ever married.

hiromi's soul wandered a long time, but gained form only that year because the soul could not find anyway to be whole as the way hiromi died nearly ruined the essence remaining in the soul.

the girl that was living with seiryuu was someone that sukuna holds dear. sukuna sent her away because he doesn't want her to be stuck with him. this will be elaborated on in the next chapter and in us and them!!!

kenjaku in fact was the person that trapped hiromi for one thousand years and in fact helped sukuna afterwards. the whole reason he trapped hiromi was because of her powers.

we'll only find out next chapter how hiromi was trapped and how she appears in shibuya.

the gif quotes is hiromi and her descendant genmei talking. this happens post shibuya.