#i had kind of a shitty day yesterday and this made me feel so much better

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

Me, a couple weeks ago: *sad because I couldn’t spare the money to rent the cinderella’s castle digital ticket when it was available*

Me, a couple days ago: *has a little bit to spend on something fun for myself, wishing starkid gave it a few more weeks now that I have enough to have been able to afford it*

Starkid, like an hour ago: *somehow reading my mind* Hey girlie! This week we’re giving you another chance to rent the Cinderella’s Castle digital ticket!! Happy Halloween!!!!

Me, seeing this on instagram: *has a super dramatic reaction with the biggest smile on my face and shaking my hands happily and excitedly giggling* YES!!!!

My cat: *is woken up by my reaction, makes a little curious noise, sleepily walks up to me, boops her face against my leg and purrs*

[paigestrap]

the surprise

anon requested

paige x fem!reader

warnings: smut (minors dni), lingerie, swearing

~3k words

summary:

you plan a surprise for paige but it gets ruined when she flakes to hang out with her teammates. realizing her mistake, she makes it up to you.

enjoy yall i made this instead of writing my 15 page essay 😵😵😵

you were so excited...

you had planned a surprise date with p for the entire day, it was your way of thanking her for the many amazing dates she would take u on and you couldn’t wait to spend the entire day with her. it was one of her days off and she had told you yesterday that she was super excited to spend the entire day with you. unfortunately, your plans and day were ruined when she had texted you this afternoon.

p: hey baby ik i said id hang out with u today but ice and kk have been begging me all day to do something with them do u mind if i go see a movie with them and then get food? i promise i'm all yours tonight ;)

fuck. your stomach dropped and suddenly all your excitement for your plans faded away. you didn’t know what to say to her, you really wanted to spend this time with her and you had made a big effort planning this surprise for her but you didn’t want her to feel like she couldn’t spend time with her friends.

but you were also kind of… mad? it hurt you that even though she spends all her time with her teammates and sees them at practice almost everyday she would rather spend her free time with them than with you. it may have been a toxic mindset but it still bothered you. you decided to go with a passive aggressive response.

you: sure, see u later.

you sighed as you collected yourself, putting away the groceries you bought to make her dinner. and filling up a vase with water for the roses whose pedals you had planned to sprinkle in the bath after dinner. you hang your newly purchased lingerie set in the closet, feeling silly for going out of your way to do all this just to be let down. you changed into pajamas and threw a frozen meal in the microwave, preparing yourself for a day full of sulking and watching reality tv.

you saw that paige had responded to your message, but you turned your phone off, not wanting to respond to her. you sat in front of the tv and put on some shitty show while you pulled out your laptop to do some homework (aka what the writer of this fic should be doing right now instead of writing this 😭). at some point you drift off to sleep.

knock.

u woke with a start, not even realizing you had fallen asleep or how much time had gone by, getting up to answer your door.

it was your girlfriend with a look of worry and annoyance, soaking wet and panting at your doorstep.

“why haven’t you been responding? i called u three times and texted you a bunch???” she questioned you, the worry had mostly faded into annoyance as she realized you were perfectly fine.

“oh, sorry i haven’t been on my phone, i guess i fell asleep” you answered to your very unsatisfied looking girlfriend.

“you can’t just send me some passive aggressive text and then ignore me for two hours. that’s unfair babe, you’d be so upset if i did that to u” she said, exasperated. she was clearly upset with you, but you didn’t care to be honest because you were also upset. you decided then you should tell her how you feel.

“it’s not fair that on your day off you decide to spend time with the teammates you see everyday instead of your girlfriend who you can barely make time to see as is. i understand they’re your best friends and spending time with them is important to you but i was so excited to spend the day with you i even planned a surprise for you and i was just feeling really neglected,” you watch as her expression softens. she walks in, and gives you a hug and kisses your head. you hate to admit it but her display of affection and attention made you feel a lot better.

“you’re absolutely right, baby. i was a dick for that. i had a feeling you were hurt by the way you responded. i just got really worried when you were ignoring me and shit i literally left in the middle of the movie and ran here in the rain” she admits to you, still holding you and running her hand up and down your back. “i didn’t know you had something planned for us. i’m so sorry you must’ve been so disappointed and upset i know that’s how i would’ve felt so i’m so sorry i made you feel that way”

you move to look up into her eyes, sincerity plastered on her face, and your annoyance and anger towards her began to fade away. “it’s okay, you didn’t know that i had planned something for us and i was just being petty. i should’ve told u that i was bothered so it’s my fault for not being honest with you. i was just hurt,” knowing that all it took for you to feel better was admitting how you felt and her apologizing made you feel silly for ignoring her earlier in the day. this could’ve all been avoided if you had just told her how you felt.

“its okay baby i understand. if i'm not too late, id like to make it up to you. what was it that you had planned?” she smiled at you, still holding you in her arms.

“well, i was going to cook you dinner, and then i bought all these roses so we could take a romantic bath together and then, well, i had another surprise for later” you start to blush, remembering the set hanging in your closet that you bought with her in mind. you hide your shy smile by burying your face into her chest.

“oh yeah? what’s that, do i still get that surprise too?” she grinned mischievously, clearly understanding the nature of your last surprise,

“i haven’t decided yet, let’s first see if you can make it up to me,” you joke with her, knowing in the back of your head that the night would end with the set on your body and paige inside you.

“fair enough,” she laughed, also seeming to know the future. “can i help you cook at least? what’s on the menu?” finally breaking the embrace she makes her way to the fridge to look at what you had bought to make dinner.

“i was just gonna make spaghetti and meatballs, you can start the noodles if you want and i can start with the other stuff.” you walk towards her, planting a kiss on her lips, “thank you for coming, P. i love you.”

she smiles and kisses you again, cupping your cheeks in her hands and looking at you endearingly “of course, my sweet girl, i’m excited to spend tonight with you. especially for whatever you have planned at the end of it” she winks and playfully slaps your ass, heading for the cabinet where the pots are to start the water. you bite your lips and blush, knowing what’s in store.

dinner preparation goes smoothly for the most part. other than the two times you stopped for a make out sesh, and paige’s incessant comments about how hot you looked while cooking her dinner. she really knew exactly how to rile you up and it was so infuriating and sexy at the same time.

you are so worked up by paige’s advances and endless flirting that you can barely think at all once you set the table and finally sit down to eat. she knows the effect she’s having on you and that only fuels her more. “you’re so fucking cute when you’re worked up, just wanna make u like this all the time”

“you are beyond annoying paige, seriously, do u enjoy making me suffer?”

“yes,” she deadpans, staring at you with a look that practically undresses you on its own. you cross your legs, feeling the heat in between your legs increasing. if paige notices she doesn’t say anything, and you enjoy the rest of your meal together without anymore teasing.

when dinner is over she insists on cleaning up the mess and even though you try to object she shoos you away. you head into your room with the roses to draw the bath. your stomach stirs knowing you and her will be in it together soon. you add the bath salts, leaving it smelling amazing in the bathroom, and slowly and carefully drop the pedals into the water, desire seeming to rise with each pedal you drop. you finally light a few candles you had brought in the bathroom and turn off the lights.

as if on cue, paige enters the bathroom. looking around the room and then at you. “this is adorable baby. i love it. thank you so much for doing this for me.” she walks over to u and plants a kiss on your lips, her hands meeting either side of your waist as she looks in your eyes. your heart melts.

you break away from her and begin to undress, and her eyes never move from you as you take each piece of clothing off. her piercing stare making the color of your cheeks pink. once fully undressed you make your way into the bath, the hot water shocking your skin and not helping your growing desire for the blonde girl whose gaze was still fixed on you. you look at her, wanting her to join you so you can finally touch her. she understands and undresses as well smirking at you as you stare shyly at her beautiful body.

“like what you see?” she teases you as she pulls her final layers off, her naked body on full display in front of you.

“i’d like it a lot better if you were in here with me, hurry up” you say impatiently, wanting to touch her so badly. she finally joins you, scooting to the back and leaning on the bath walls, opening her legs so you can lay in between them. you allow her body to engulf yours as you lay the back of your head on her chest, savoring every inch of her skin that’s in contact with yours.

“you’re so pretty baby, can’t believe you’re all mine” she moves your hair away from your neck and places soft kisses along it, trailing down to your shoulder. soft whimpers leave your mouth as your body reacts to her touch, each kiss intensifying the desire that's been brewing all night. "have i made it up to you yet baby?" she whispers in your ear.

your brain goes fuzzy, barely able to think with her sinful lips and voice in your ear, "i'm not sure, i think there might be something else you could do to make it up to me" you try to tease her, but your voice betrays you as it comes out breathless and in between moans.

she laughs, and then whispers again in a low and seductive voice "oh yeah? whats that baby? tell me" she ghosts her finger around your nipple with one hand, and traces circles around the sensitive parts of your stomach, all while continuing to kiss your neck. you are fully gone at this point, shamelessly whining while she works you into total submission.

"cant. not right now. the last surprise. still need to show you." you are so worked up and words are not coming easy at all. you desperately want to get out of the bath and into your set so she can fuck you senseless in bed.

“okay baby, we can get out now. wanna go get that surprise ready?” she puts her hands on your shoulder and stops kissing your neck, you let out a whine at the absence of her touch, but find yourself slowly coming back to reality.

“yes, you wait in here and drain the water and i’ll let you know when you can come in” you say, making your way out of the bath and wrapping a towel around your figure. she nods and pulls the drain while getting out of the bath.

once in your room with the bathroom door shut, you make your way over to your closet and pull out the set you bought. it’s a light purple babydoll slip dress and a matching thong, there’s a bow in the bra part that can be untied to uncover your tits. you bite your lip as you feel your pussy get wet just thinking about her reaction. slowly, you put it on, making sure everything is in order and the bow is pretty for her, even though you know it won’t be tied for long.

“okay. you can come out now, i’m ready” you stand awkwardly, impatiently awaiting her presence and reaction to you. she opens the door and her mouth drops as soon as her eyes meet you. she stands there for a while, unable to say or do anything in awe of you.

“you’re amazing” she says, eyes running you up and down as she takes you in. she is star struck.

“come here and touch me please. make up for today” you whine, feeling so small under her gaze and so needy for her touch. she walks over to you, fingers touching all over you as she gazes at you perplexed.

“so fucking beautiful, all for me” she whispers, one hand cupping your cheek and another snaking its way down your back to grab your ass. her hand moves to the bow covering your chest, and slowly, she pulls the cloth until it unravels and your tits are on full display for her. she shamelessly stares at them, fondling one in her hand and running her thumb around your nipple, eliciting the most obscene noises from you as she does so. "your tits are a masterpiece, cant believe theyre all mine," she admits. both of her hands grip your thighs as she hoists you into her arms and lays you down on the bed, fully on top of you. "want me to fuck you in this baby? is that what you want?" she asks you, hands running up and down your thighs.

"yes. paige. oh my god please." you beg, laying all your desires out in front of her as you let her take full control. she kisses you passionately, hands traveling the expanse of your body and touching you in all of your most sensitive spots.

"so worked up for me huh? tell me how i can make it up to you baby, i'll do whatever you say", she says in a low voice in between kisses, hands traveling dangerously close to the place you need them most as she plays with the band of your panties.

"please fuck me paige, i need you in me right now" you beg, barely holding it together. her hands grab your underwear and she pulls them off of you, leaving your wet and throbbing pussy on full display. her fingers slide in between your folds, rubbing your clit and feeling your wetness.

"youre soaking baby, all because of me yeah? im gonna fuck you so good my sweet girl, make you forget all about what happened" you can barely hear her lude remarks as she rubs your clit. you fear you wont last long with how good her fingers are making you feel.

she slips two fingers in you, your wetness allowing them entrance with ease, she curls her fingers in you as your walls clench around them, touching your sensitive spot as she does so. your hips rut in reaction and moan her name loudly as she rakes in and out of you, "thats my good girl, so fucking loud for me," her pace quickens as she feels you tightening up against her. she knows youre close and is making no effort to prolong your orgasm, wanting to make you feel as good as possible. she moves her thumb to rub up and down against your clit, increasing the sensation as your body reacts to both points of contact.

you were so close, your body in her full control and needing release. "paige. please, faster. im gonna come" you plead. she moves right next to you and sucks on your neck while speeding up her pace inside of you,

"anything for you baby, you can come for me, i love you so much." she whispers, pace quickening as her fingers travel deeper inside of you .

her voice in your ear telling you to come is all you need to send you over the edge. you moan her name as you orgasm and she continues whispering, "so so good, all mine, love how you feel when you come. you look so beautiful right now baby" she slows her pace as you ride out your orgasm, kissing your neck as she continues talking you through it.

as you feel the waves of pleasure subside and you start to come back to your senses, you kiss her for a long time, whimpering in her mouth at the same time. she slowly pulls her fingers out of you, pushing them in your mouth as you lick up your mess. she lays down next to you, holding you in her arms.

"yeah. you definitely made it up to me" you say looking at her and pecking her lips.

"oh, there's more where that came from. i'm all yours tonight baby." she smiles, hand cupping your cheek as she kisses you lovingly.

it was going to be a long night.

[loganlermanstanaccount]

petition for reader to give miguel the most soul sucking, mind numbing, toe curling, canon breaking, head ever please

yeah was thinking about this one for a while so here it is anon >:)

Gentle Femdom + Orgasm Control with Miguel O'Hara

(AO3 Mirror), Main Masterlist

pairing: bf!Miguel O'Hara x f!reader

summary: Miguel has a long day. You help him relax :)

warnings: gentle femdom, orgasm control, m receiving oral, slight anal play, grinding, general filth. 18+ Minors DNI

a/n: made this femdom because... because uhhh...

wc: 2.3k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Baby, I can't-"

"Please, Miguel." You clamber on top of him, and he places tentative hands at your waist. 

The pendulum motion of your hips captures him as you rock back and forth on his crotch. 

"A quick one, okay?" 

His eyes are low as you watch him struggle with himself - clearly conflicted. You feel him squeeze your hip. 

"...M'tired, cariño." He presses his forehead to yours, and you card the hair at the nape of his neck. Ever so slightly, he arches, shifting in his seat to press tighter against you. 

"Let me take care of you, then." You nose at his cheek, featherlight kisses as you pull his hair a little more, juust so, until… 

"Mmh, fuck. Okay, okay-" You giggle as he rolls his eyes, a little embarrassed. 

You pull him into a kiss, the messy kind: the kind that has you both gasping, and desperate. When you separate, he's got his eyes closed in bliss, lips slightly parted to chase what's left of you. He catches at your chin, planting wet kisses that he'll turn to hickies, if you're not careful. So you pull away, gently; slipping off his lap to kneel in front of him. You place your hands on his thighs and he stretches out above, giving you a peek of tan skin under his shirt. 

Looking up at him like this, Miguel is so, so pretty. You rest your head on one thigh, running your hand up the other. Imperceptibly, he shivers.

Recently, you've noticed something. He's always taken the lead in bed, often initiating, leading you to your climax and always providing gentle aftercare in its wake. And you're more than happy to oblige, riding the crest of that wave; however it comes. Miguel is a giver: selfless and dutiful. It's the little moments of intimacy you think he likes the best and you drink it all in: the way his eyes flutter and legs shake when you give him well-deserved praise, or tell him how much you love him. Miguel is a giver, and you've decided: it's time you give a little back. 

"Tell me about your day, baby." 

"Uhh, it was g-good," You run across his thigh with your nails, now, and he keens. 

"Mmhmm." You keep your pace steady, watching how he reacts just from your touch. 

"I mean, it was actually kind of shitty." He blinks, with a faraway look in his eyes. 

"Oh? Was it that portal malfunction you told me about yesterday?" 

"That was….yeah, I had to deal with it this morning, and-" You press against his length with the heel of your palm, and he's already half hard. He clears his throat. "And i-it feels like I've been putting out fires all day."

Without breaking eye contact. you nod, unzipping his trousers and taking his cock out of his boxers. He's filling up nicely, hardening cock heavy in your palm. 

"Like Peter B, today - he's just been off his game. I sent him and Miles to deal with an anomaly, 'cus –mmffuck–“

One stroke, then two, his hips buck up; and you coo. 

"Like that, baby?" 

He nods, head slightly back as you keep the pace. You stop, squeezing at the base of his cock. 

"No, I want to hear it." 

He gulps, and can barely breathe with the way you look at him. What's gotten into you? This is…. It feels different. 

"...wanna hear you say it for me."

His cock jumps at your tone, dulcet and sweet. "J-Just like that. Feels… feels good."

His smile is lopsided, blissful, and you give him a little kiss at the tip of his shaft as a reward. 

"You didn't finish, cariño." 

"Okay," He takes a deep breath, running his hands through his hair to steady himself. "I think he took Mayday, which I've told him not to about a thousand times. I tell him, you can't take your kid to fight multidimensional villains, and every time he nods and smiles, and does it anyway. Why do I even…?"

He mutters to himself, and you take the opportunity to capture him in your mouth. You wrap your lips around the head of his cock, pretty and weeping precum. The muttering stops, for a bit, as he hisses at your warmth. 

His hands come to rest on your cheek, cradling your jaw. And his eyes, God, they melt as you swirl your tongue over his tip. You stop, separating from his cock with a string of saliva, waiting. 

He's groaning, trying to compose himself as he slowly starts to understand. When you asked him to talk about his day, you mean it; and you want him to work for that orgasm. 

"Fuck, I…. I can't do everything around HQ." It's said shakily, under his breath. Humming in affirmation, you give him a few lazy pumps, eyes low. He sighs, leaning into it. You make his head spin, frankly. 

You take him deeper, widening your jaw to fit him in as far as you can and he throws his head back, a hand running through thick locs. You dig your nails into his thighs and he's seeing stars; hips canting into your warmth and oh fuck, is that the back of your throat? 

He brings a hand to the back of your neck; not pushing, but applying the slightest bit of pressure. He's close, you can tell – reading that shake of legs and heavy breathing like words on a page. 

You bring yourself off of him with a pop, eyes bleary with the memory of him at the back of your throat. 

And he's whining, hand clamped around his balls whilst his hips drive upwards; narrowly missing your plump lips. 

"¿Qué carajo?" You swear you see tears in his eyes as he fights off an orgasm. "Why'd you stop?" 

You giggle, pressing a little kiss to his tip; teasing. 

"No hands, Miggy."

He's shaking his head, confused. 

"You'll come when I tell you to, okay?" You bolster your point with a quick stroke of his shaft. Precum pours from his tip, in response. "That means no hands, and you'll keep your hips still." 

It's bold: asserting the new dynamic like this. What you expect is for him to tug at your hair and pull you onto his cock, regardless – and you'd welcome it, if he did. But instead, your boyfriend gives you a desperate nod, wringing his hands and placing them flat on the couch besides him. He's obedient, you note. 

As a reward, you sink a little lower; suckling at his balls whilst keeping eye contact. 

"S'feel good?" 

He nods, but it's only when you raise your eyebrow he takes the hint. "Y-Yes. Feels good, baby."

You hum, pleased with his response: Miguel slotting his hands to his sides, like a good boy. 

"We'll try that again, okay?" You pump his cock, marveling at the precum that pours out. 

And so he tries, bless his heart, stopping and starting through a scattered recount of his day. You're watching carefully, reveling in the way he melts like this. It's not often Miguel gives you this chance, often too concerned with getting you off to let you slobber all over his cock: your hand dwarfed by his pretty length, steadying yourself as you take him in as deep as you can. 

"...a-and the flux condenser needed replacing s–so–ffuck–I–" 

His hips buck up, and he groans; head tipped back on the sofa and apologies spilling out before you can even react. 

"I'm sorry, baby. P-Please, please don't–fuuck" He's resorted to pleading when you separate and sit back on your knees. 

You're licking traces of him off your lips, and he groans, snaking a shaky hand through his hair. There might even be tears in his eyes, and with the way he sounds, it light you on fire. 

You get closer, lashes fluttering as he keens. His tip pours precum, and his length pulses; breathing heavily as you mouth at his balls. You're feeling greedy, wanting to see more; to watch his pretty lips curve in that O shape you've gotten drunk on. 

He obliges, hands clawing at the couch cushions and you slather over his balls. You run your tongue over the skin; warm, wet, the flat of muscle chases its push and pull. You can't help it now, hand trailing down to your pussy, and you grind down on the heel of your palm. Sharp scarlet eyes trace down, along the gentle curve of your skin and down to where your hand meets your pussy. 

He's begging, little expletives mixed in with pleading, and you let it go to your head. You slip your fingers along your slit, pads of your fingertips brushing against that little bud, and you can feel him: Miguel tensing against your lips. He's close. 

"Can you cum for me, Mig?"

With a tremendous groan, your lips seal around his tip, and he's forced down as far as his cock will go. Miguel cums, hard, spilling as you gag around him, nose brushing neatly trimmed hairs at the base of cock. 

It's a lot of cum, salty and thick, and you drink it all up with glee. Watching, tears brimming at the corners of your eyes, you lick it up from his tip, and pop off of his length. Heaving, Miguel tenses as you run your nails down his thighs, stroking lovingly. 

"Fuck." He hisses, shaking as he pulls you up onto his lap. 

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, smiling like a dope. 

"Was that good?" You ask innocently, 

"Good? Of course it was–" He's still out of breath. You watch him writhe, placing big hands at your hips that slowly travel to your ass. 

You cut him off with a kiss: sweltering heat, and he's licking up your moans. Underneath, he stirs, hardening as you're dragged across his length by rough palms. 

"Ah-shit–Mig!" He slips a hand down the back of your panties, two fingers playing at your hole. As expected, you're soaked. "Thought you said you wanted a quick one?" 

He rolls his eyes, pressing light kisses to your jaw, and to your neck. 

"I was tired, baby." He shifts, and seats his fingers comfortably inside your cunt. His other hand shifts your hips, and you're led into a gentle roll of hips. His eyes are blown, two fingers scissoring your pretty hole and thumb tapping at your asshole. You recognise this as the kind of hunger that only surfaces when he wants something: deep, desperate yearning you can never get enough of. You lean forward, one arm wrapped around his shoulders and the other at your ass like a slut, spreading yourself wider so he can go deeper.

“J-Just like… oh fuck—just like that.” He sits further back, and you can’t help but fuck yourself on his fingers. It doesn’t last long, feeling his cock quickly harden underneath. Fuck. You want him seated deep, bullying his fat tip inside.

“Miguel.” You’re whining into his ear, gently easing his fingers out. “What do you want, cariño?”

You want to hear him say it; to put a name to the pleasure he so dearly deserves.

“You.” He breathes. “You. Always you.”

He nips at your neck, big palm splayed onto the back of your head, pushing you down onto his lap. When you discard thin shorts, and slip off lacy panties, you make quick work of his pretty dick, already hard and aching. He likes this bit, he thinks, leaning back to look at the way your legs shake around his length – too impatient to take it slowly.

And God, that stretch has your eyes rolling to the back of your head; a quick, stuttering pace as you claw for one another. It feels feral, just the way he likes it, the press of bodies as you slot yourself against him. It’s addictive, you’re addictive; and he finds himself unable to love in any other way than with his whole being. He thinks you’re made for him; moulded to the shape of his length as you hump against one another.

It’s not just fucking. It’s sticky and sweaty and needy; and it has you creaming around the base of his cock with a wet slap. He presses his thumb to your asshole; chest creaking at the way he can feel your walls from there. He can feel you everywhere; and then he spills into you, filling you to the brim. His cum drips out onto his balls, and in your haze you use the wetness to massage them. They feel heavy, and sore; and so you roll the skin in your hand to soothe him.

Tears prick at his eyes, and he’s groaning lowly, forehead pressed against yours.

“Oh, baby.” You coo. “I know, I know.”

You sit like that for a while, his fat cock softening inside of you. With the weight of his orgasm, he crumples ever so slightly, shaky hands spanning your back to hold you like water.

It makes you smile, and you whisper sweet things into the shell of his ear. You’ll run him a bath later, wash his hair and rub his back as you slip into the water with him. You know him well: he’ll complain, insist he’s fine and gently swat you away, but you’ll stay steadfast. 

Miguel is a giver - you know that. Every once in a while, you’re more than happy to give him a little back. 

_

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[insxghtt]

hot knife — ellie williams x reader

if Ellie is butter, then you're a hot knife.

warnings: fluff, lots of cursing (it's ellie), lesbians being really really gayyyy, ellie and reader are 18

based on a request. y'all needed it, i needed it, we all need this.

You were angry. Well, not angry like when someone tells you something you don’t really want to hear, or when someone messes with someone you deeply care about, or even when someone is trying to tell you what to do. No, this was a different type of angry. Something you have never felt before. 

It was like when you have a dog and this dog that you love so much only cares about someone else. Shit, you’re the one feeding it, you’re the one who covers that ungrateful dog with a blanket when it’s snowing outside, you’re the one who loves and would do anything to protect that dog when someone tries to hurt it, or kidnap it, or some shit like that. 

Of course, Ellie was not a dog. It’s not like you were comparing her to one, no. That would be just superficial and kind of mean, honestly. You cared about Ellie more than you would care about a dog. Also, Ellie was so much better than that. She was perfect. Every detail of her was just beautiful to you. You weren’t angry at her. You were angry at yourself for feeling like you were invisible every time she looked at her. 

Dina. 

Why did Ellie had to pay attention to every word she said? Why did she seem so happy when Dina talked to her? Most importantly, why did you care so much? It’s not like Ellie was your girlfriend. She was your best friend. Wasn’t it enough? 

Apparently, no, considering how shitty you felt when you saw Dina and Ellie laughing in the park while playing with snowballs. That morning, you were supposed to meet with her. You two made plans to have lunch together. Well, you didn’t plan that, but it became kind of a routine, so you though she would be waiting for you in front of your house like she always did. 

Ellie didn’t like to take care of herself. She was used to skip some meals and you were quick to notice it. Of course you would notice it, you were always looking at her. Since the day she arrived at Jackson for the first time. 

She was only fourteen then, but fourteen years were enough to make her tougher than the other kids. Tougher than you. You were more innocent than her then and that made it difficult for you two to connect. Yet somehow, you were able to sneak into her life. ‘If you are butter, I can be the hot knife’, you told her one time. That was the first time she laughed in front of you. Since that moment, you made it your goal to put a smile on her face at least once every single day. She deserved it. 

It hurt like hell when you realized you were not the only one doing it anymore. Dina was pretty, smart, confident. They made a good match if you look at it from any other point of view that it’s not yours. 

“You’re staring”, a voice next to you brough you back to earth. You didn’t have to look to know that it was Jesse. 

“You too.” 

“Do you think they’re like...”, he made a pause, obviously uncomfortable with the use of the word. “Lesbians... or something?” 

You raised your eyebrows and looked at him. “Is there a problem if they were?” 

“Well, I... No, it’s just that I...”, he stuttered. 

“You are unbelievable”, you sighed. 

“Hey!”, Ellie yelled when she saw you. “You!” 

She ran to you with a big smile in her face. For a second, you even forgot about that awful feeling. 

“I knocked at your door, but I guess you weren’t there anymore”, she stopped in front of you. Her cheeks were pink because of the cold. “Me and Dina went to sleep late yesterday, so I woke up late, and... you know.” 

Yes, of course, last night. When Dina and Ellie talked for hours and hours at the stable and you just decided to leave because it was just too much for you to handle. 

It was kind of funny how Jesse gulped when he heard Ellie saying that she and Dina were alone for hours. It obvious how much he liked Dina, but she didn’t seem to realize. 

“What were you two doing last night?”, Jesse asked. 

“They were doing drugs and making out, Jesse, that’s what they were doing.”, you said sarcastically. 

“Really?” 

“Oh my God...”, you rolled your eyes. 

“We were talking”, Dina explained to him while she was getting closer. 

He laughed nervously and nodded.  

“I’m sorry I made you wait”, Ellie said to you. 

“It’s fine.” 

You just shrugged and turned away, now heading to the bar where you usually had your lunch. Ellie looked at Dina without really knowing what to do. You didn’t sound fine. Dina gestured for her to follow you and that was what she did. 

You entered the bar with her. It was weird how distant you were, but she tried her best to stay positive. You saw Seth from far away and gave him a signal. He already knew you and Ellie pretty well. He didn’t exactly like you, but he liked Maria, Maria liked you and you liked Ellie. That meant free lunch every day. 

When you sat at one of the tables to wait for the food, she sat in front of you. 

“Listen, I found this movie in one of the patrols and I...” 

“That’s nice”, you interrupted her, staring at your hands. 

“Okay...”, she nodded. You were not interested in the movie. Alright. “So, I was thinking we could...” 

“Did you and Dina have fun last night?” 

She opened her mouth to answer, but Seth called your name before she could say anything. You stood up and walked to the man behind the counter. 

“Thank you, Seth”, you said before taking the two sandwiches. 

The man responded with a mumble. You didn’t look at Ellie when you gave her one of the sandwiches, but she still followed you when you walked out of the bar. 

“Can you slow down a bit?”, Ellie asked. 

It didn’t really make a difference. It took her a few seconds to realize where you were going. Your home. Something was off. You two usually had lunch in the park. When it was too cold, you went to her place because it was closer. 

When you finally arrived at your house, you didn’t ask her to come in. No, you entered the door and closed it behind you. Okay, that was just too much. 

“Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“Oh, so now you care!”, you yelled too from inside the house. 

“What?”, she tried to open the door, but it was locked. “Did you just lock me outside your house?” 

There was silence for a few seconds. “No...” 

“The door seems pretty fucking locked to me!” 

You were being childish, and you knew it. With a sigh, you left the sandwich on the corner table and opened the door. Ellie stared at you, but she didn’t seem angry. No, she seemed... hurt? 

“Are you mad at me because I woke up late?” 

“Oh, fuck you! It’s not about that!” 

“Alright, then what is it?”, she crossed her arms, waiting for an explanation. 

You had no other option but to just deny it. 

“It’s nothing.” 

“Really? You think I'm gonna buy that?” 

“I don’t need you to, it’s the truth”, you shrugged. 

“So, you just ignored me and locked me out of your house for nothing?” 

“Maybe I didn’t see you.” 

“You did see me.” 

“Maybe it was the wind.” 

“The wind can lock doors now?” 

You really had no arguments, huh? 

“Maybe.” 

“Stop...”, she whispered. “Come on, let me in? It’s cold.” 

You sighed and gave her space to enter you house. When you closed the door, the silence filled the room. Ellie took the backpack off her back and looked for something in one of the pockets. You watched in silence as she took a VHS film and showed it to you. 

“This is what I was telling you about...” 

“Who the fuck is Donnie Darko?”, you read the name. 

“I was hoping to find out.” 

Why did she had to look at you like that? 

“Well, I think Dina will love it.” 

“Dina? Why would I...”, she seemed confused for a moment, but then it hit her. “Wait, are you jealous of me and Dina?” 

Jealous. Was that the word? 

“Fuck, no!” 

“Oh, my fucking God, you’re jealous!” 

“No, I'm not!”, you could feel your cheeks burning right now. “Why would I be jealous of you two?” 

“I don’t know, maybe you have a thing for her...” 

“I do not have a thing for her.” 

“You have a thing for someone then?” 

Her confusion was making you dizzy. You sighed and sat on the couch of the living room. 

“Okay...”, she was still trying to absorb that information. She felt weird trying to picture you with someone else. “Who is it then?” 

“Shut up, I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

“I think we are already talking about it, so...”, she looked at you. “It’s okay. You can tell me, you know?” 

“No, I can’t.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I can’t lie to you, Ellie.” 

“But you don’t have to lie... right?”, she said, and you finally looked at her with tears in your eyes. “Oh...” 

You didn’t have to say anything, it was too obvious. You were in love with her. The tears started to roll down your cheeks, and you didn’t try to stop them. It was done, you couldn’t go back in time. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Ellie was staring at the floor. Her silence was terrifying to you. What if she never talks to you again? All your worries were soon replaced by confusion when she let out a laugh. 

“You know what’s funny?”, she smiled and looked at you. “I spent a week with this movie in my backpack, scared that if I invited you to watch it with me you would realize I was asking you on a date.” 

She left the VHS tape in the center table. 

“And I really spent hours yesterday talking to Dina, describing to her everything I feel when you’re around, asking her if it would be too bad if I really did ask you on a date.” 

The way you looked at her made her heart melt. It was almost as if you were begging for that to be true. 

“So, is that what this is?”, you pointed to the VHS tape. 

“I mean, if you’d like that, then I guess it is”, she looked down, trying to hide the tears in her eyes. 

You nodded and stood up. 

“I do like that.” 

She stepped your way, your faces closer than ever. “Okay, then it’s a date.” 

You gave her a shy smile and paid attention to every single detail of her. Eyes, nose, lips. 

“It’s a date”, you whispered before leaving a soft kiss on her lips. 

[scoonsalicious]

9.1 Lily

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,

Word Count: 1.8k

Previously On...: You spent a lovely day at the Compound with Bucky, even if he did tell you he thinks you should stop having sex so you can focus on getting to know one another better.

A/N: In the interest of saving my arm, I'm going to move to a temporary every other day posting schedule. So, for the time being, updates will be Mon/Wed/Fri/Sun/Tue/Thus/Sat etc, at least until I am fully better.

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Lily paced in the empty common room as she waited for Bucky to get back to the Compound from wherever he’d been when she’d texted him. She was furious. She was more than furious. She was enraged. After all the work she’d put into preparing their ‘friend’ date, he had the gall to stand her up, and not let her know until fifteen minutes after he was supposed to pick her up! What kind of a friend did something like that?

And then! When one of her recruits had come in after lunch, telling everyone who would listen how he’d seen Bucky Barnes ride off the compound grounds on his motorcycle with “a hot piece of ass” on the bike behind him, and that the “piece of ass” was wearing one of Bucky’s Henleys? How the fuck was she supposed to take that, if not a blatant slap to the face of their relationship? It was all her recruits could talk about for the next twenty minutes, gossiping like a bunch of little old ladies with absolutely nothing better to do with their time.

Until Lily made them run ten miles.

She couldn’t believe he was doing this to her. Risking their four years of friendship.

And all for what? Some random slag? Was he really that desperate to get his dick wet? Fuck, she’d be more than willing to help him out with that if he’d just ask her. Why was he being so difficult?

She stopped mid-turn when she heard the sound of the elevator doors opening. Spinning on her heel, she watched as Bucky exited and made his way slowly into the common room, looking like a man about to walk into his execution. Good, she thought. Let him feel ashamed for humiliating me like that.

“Hey, Lil,” he said when he’d finally reached her.

“Don’t you ‘hey, Lil’ me,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. “What you did last night was really hurtful, James”

“I said I was sorry, Lil,” he protested with a sigh, hands thrust deep into his pockets. “I didn’t mean to bail on you– it’s just… she was willing to give me another chance after I fucked it up yesterday morning. I didn’t want to risk blowing it.”

Lily scoffed. “So, you decided that impressing some random hookup was more important than keeping plans you made with your best friend of the last four years?”

“She’s not a random hookup, Lil,” Bucky said, his voice rising slightly. “I told you– I really like this one. I want this to work out between us.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “So, what? Her vagina is so magic you’re gonna let it turn you into a shitty friend?”

Bucky seemed taken aback by that, and Lily began pacing again. “Lil?” He cleared his throat, the sound stopping her in her tracks. “Is the reason you’re so bothered by this because… because you have feelings for me?”

Lily could feel all the blood drain from her face, and she was grateful not to be facing him because she knew she’d look as white as a ghost and completely give herself away. 

“It’s okay if you do,” Bucky said into her silence. “I’d never invalidate your feelings, but you have to know that I don–”

“Ego trip much, Jamie?” Lily asked, turning around and giving the cheeriest fake laugh she could muster at a time like this. “You’re my best friend. I mean, I love you, but only as a friend. Don’t be ridiculous.”

She watched in dismay as a weight seemed to be visibly lifted off of Bucky’s shoulders as he leaned against one of the couches; his entire demeanor seeming lighter at her denial, and she was so glad she hadn’t been honest with him. If she had confessed how she felt and he had outright rejected her… Well, she didn’t know what she would do, but she knew it wouldn’t be pretty.

“Why would you even ask me such a thing?” she prodded, attempting to hide the desperation in her voice to know how the seed had been planted. “Honestly, how did that idea even get into your head?”

Bucky shrugged. “You just never seem to like any of the girls I date,” he said. “I thought that might’ve been why.”

Lily scoffed. “I can’t help it that your taste in women is terrible, Jamie,” she said, and felt a twinge of satisfaction when he flinched at her words. “And if I’m not mistaken, I’ve yet to be wrong about a single one of them in the end, no matter how great they seemed at the beginning. But that doesn’t mean that I want to be with you.”

She was lying to him through her teeth, and she knew that she should feel bad about it, but right now, nothing seemed more imperative than to protect herself from his rejection.

“I don’t care how much you like this girl, Jamie,” she went on. “It was still an asshole move to leave me hanging so that you could go fuck some slut you barely know.”

“Hey,” he said, rising to his full height and using a tone of voice that he had never used on her before. An angry tone. “I admit, taking off like that and not giving you more warning was not my finest moment, and I am sorry that I hurt your feelings, I really am. But she is not a slut, and I won’t let you call her that.”

Lily blinked at him for a few beats, her mouth hanging open in shock. He had never, not once in the entire four years of their friendship, raised his voice in anger toward her before. It was a little frightening.

And kind of hot.

“Okay,” she said with a sigh, trying to make her voice sound contrite while hoping for maximum pity at the same time. “I’m sorry. Look, I don’t want to fight with you. It just made me feel like you didn’t care about me. Like I don’t matter to you the second something better comes along.” 

Bucky walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Lil,” he said, giving it a gentle squeeze, “you know that’s not true. You’re one of the most important people in my life. I messed up, and I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.”

“I feel like you’ve been saying that to me a lot lately, Jamie,” she said, and was rewarded when she saw him look away from her in shame. She’d cut him a little bit of slack. “How do you plan on making it up to me this time?” she asked with a smile.

Bucky’s entire face lit up, and Lily’s breath hitched. God, but he was beautiful when he smiled at her like that. “I was actually thinking,” he began, moving around the room as he grew excited, “that since I got you so pissed off, what better to get it out of your system than to go destroy some shit at The WarZone?”

Lily just stared at him, shocked. “That’s the place owned by that bitch Natasha invited to the bar on Friday, isn’t it?”

Bucky slowly nodded. “Uh, yeah… Major… Her name’s Major.”

Lily scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “Seriously, Bucky? After the way she treated me that night? You can’t honestly expect me to patronize her establishment after the way she humiliated me in front of all of our friends!?”

Bucky frowned at her, and Lily felt something in her stomach twist at his expression. “She didn’t embarrass you, Lil,” he said. “She was just responding to something you said to her first.”

“Well, I don’t care if that’s how you see it,” Lily said defensively. “She was still a nasty bitch to me. I don’t want to have anything to do with her, and I’m sure as shit not going to hang out with you in the business she runs.”

Bucky sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lil,” he said, as though it were paining him, “it’s really important to me that you make an effort to get along with Major.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Jamie, how could it be that important for me to get along with a random girl you just met the other—” The realization crashed over her like a ton of bricks. “Oh,” was all she could say.

Bucky blushed and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “Yeah,” he said almost bashfully. “Major’s the girl I’ve been talking about, Lil. She’s the one I went to see last night.”

Lily’s stomach soured at the realization that Bucky had been sneaking around, lying to her these last few days, in order to go see that fucking bitch. “I—” she began. “You had sex with her Friday night, after you brought her home, didn’t you?”

Bucky nodded, not meeting her eye. He had lied to her face, again.

“I honestly can’t believe you’d put some slut you just met over your best friend, Jamie. That makes this whole thing even worse!”

“She is not a slut, Lily,” Bucky said, his voice clipped in renewed anger. “Don’t you dare call her that!”

“Well, what do you call a girl who sleeps with a guy she’s only known for a couple of hours? Would you prefer ‘tramp,’ or ‘floozy’? Something more in line with your times?”

“I had sex with her after only knowing her for a couple of hours,” Bucky said. “So, I guess you think I’m a slut, too.”

Lily’s eyes went wide at the implication of her words. “Of… of course not, Bucky. I would never insinuate–”

“There’s no difference between what she and I did, because we did it together,” he said. “So, either were both sluts, or neither one of us are.”

This conversation was getting horribly out of Lily’s control. “Look,” she said eventually, trying to get things back on track. If she had any hope of surviving this, she was going to have drastically change her tactics. “I don’t even actually care if you slept with her after only knowing her a few hours.” Oh, but she did, she reminded herself. “I’m pissed because ever since you’ve met this girl, it feels like you’ve done nothing but lie to me and toss me aside. That’s not the Jamie I know, and frankly, your behavior is concerning me.”

Bucky’s face softened, his anger dissipating at her words. “You’re right, Lil. I’ve been a dick, and I promise you, the lying is done. And I’m gonna be more considerate when it comes to communicating with you if I have to cancel plans,” he said.

Lily’s jaw twitched at his choice of words. Not ‘I won’t cancel on you again,’ or even ‘I won’t let this new girl come between us.’ Just a veiled threat that he would bail on her for Major, again and again. She was going to have to play this game very, very carefully if she had any hope of actually breaking them up. That meant, for now, keeping him on her side.

“Thank you, Jamie,” she said, plastering on a hundred watt smile. “You don’t know what that means to  me.”

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[smellrain]

in which: Jack has liked you for years, but so far you have been oblivious to his feelings. Will the guide he made with the help of his teammate make you fall for him? Or will it end up destroying your friendship?

tags: written, mention of use of alcohol, slight angst. (masterlist for this au) (my masterlist) <prev. part: prologue I next part: ch. 2>

notes: [4.3k] First of all: thank you for your kind words after the prologue yesterday! Very happy that so many of you liked it. There is an analysis post about this chapter here that you might want to check out after! I hope you enjoy :) & come tell me how you liked it!!!

It had been a long day at work for you. The data your boss had assigned you had taken you a lot longer to work on than you’d expected, which meant that you actually, genuinely missed your last lecture of the day. You had texted a barely-even-friend that attended the same elective about her notes but you hadn't gotten a text back so far. 

Standing in front of your door now, you leaned the crown of your head against the outside of it and took a deep breath in. You had missed the key hole not once but twice now and the anger that welled up inside of you was completely unwarranted, so you knew you needed to mentally take at least one step back. 

Four seconds in, seven hold, eight out. In and out. You blinked once and the dark of the wood was an unwelcome reminder of reality. Still, unlocked the door, this time succeeding on the first try. 

The hallway was quiet, but you had expected as much. One of your flatmates had a nightshift at the clinic she was working at while the other was sleeping over at her boyfriends. The blissful silence you had looked forward to this morning seemed suffocating now. 

It didn’t matter. It was fine like this, you were fine.

After turning on the kitchen light, you walked to your room, put down your bag and fell down onto your bed, face first. The scratchy fabric of your bedcover was not nearly as nice as the sheets you had dreamed of all day long. 

For a while you let your eyes fall closed, not asleep, but resting nonetheless. You just wanted to rinse the day off of you, but you were too hungry to even think about showering. 

With a groan you peeled yourself off your bed, sat at the edge of your mattress while an inexplicable urge to cry welled up inside of you. Your day had been really shitty and your were really, really hungry.

But you got up anyway and walked towards the light in the kitchen that shone through through the space of the door to your room.

The music you’d put on in the background helped but it didn’t quite scratch that itch for conversation, for company. When you saw your phone light up from where you had left it on the counter, you hoped it might be the classmate you had texted. 

You rinsed off your hands to see who had messaged you. 

Jack (worst Hughes brother): hey what r you doing tn? You: currently making dinner why what did you do what do you need Jack (worst Hughes brother): nothing  wait why did you assume i did/need sth anyways: can i come over soon?

The shower. You still had to shower, but soon for Jack usually meant at least half an hour. It  should be enough time and besides it was just Jack, no reason to put in more effort than necessary. 

You: because you always text me when you need my help sure, I might be eating by then, have you eaten? Jack (worst Hughes brother): I did like 5min ago wait no ignore that, you’re telling me I could have had some of yours??? jkjk see you soon

You liked the last message and turned the heat off your stove. Shower first, you reminded yourself, even as you mourned the loss of the start of your dinner that you had been frying on the stove. 

When he knocked at your door you were still sitting at the small kitchen table that could barely seat two people. “It’s open,” you said, loudly. 

From the sounds you could hear him open and close the door, take off his shoes and leave his bag in the hallway. When he finally came into your view, you couldn’t help but smile. Strange how that worked, considering you had almost cried half an hour ago. Food really worked miracles sometimes. But then again he had always had that kind of effect on you, making you smile despite yourself. 

“That’s not very safe of you,” he had said but he was already smiling, “having your door unlocked.”

“Hey you, fancy seeing you here.”

There was a warm feeling curling itself around your ribcage at the look at him, “hey yourself. I left it open because I knew you were coming over, don’t worry about it.”

“Alright,” he conceded, “did you watch the game yesterday?”

“‘Course I did,” you said, eyes following him as he took a glass from the cabinets and filled it up. There was something intimate about that, the ease he carried himself with, him knowing where to find your glassware and feeling comfortable enough to do so while carrying on with the conversation. 

There was something in you that ached at the feeling, at having someone that comes home to you. At having someone that just feels that comfortable with you, that you live your life alongside with. 

It’s not like you were lonely, you had wonderful flatmates and good friends, but there was just something different about this feeling, about this longing. Or maybe that was just the effect he had on you, inexplicable as always.

“Good, otherwise I would have felt stupid after my goal.”

You had seen the new ritual he did sometimes that he had been asked about by the media sometimes. He had done it a few times now, more often over this past year. He was approached by his teammates first, but then he was still for a bit, putting his hand on his chest and raising it up after, usually waving once. The warmth that had seeped into your bones crept up to your face, “you did that for me?”

The one time he talked to an interviewer about it, he had said it was a new good luck charm he was trying out.

Because of the small table the two of you sat close and his knee kept bumping into yours, but you hardly paid it any mind. It was comforting, having him here, this close in the low light of the kitchen, cradling one of your glasses in his hands. 

Admitting something he hadn’t told anyone else.

“Yeah, of course, had to show my appreciation for my number one fan somehow.”

You laughed a little, “you are such an idiot.”

The smile he gave you in return crinkled up the skin at the corner of his eyes and you wanted to trace that fold with your thumb. What were you even thinking? “I know.”

So you just swatted his shoulder and got up to wash your dish. “Did you guys go out and celebrate?”

Jack turned in his seat, his body facing your back from where he was still sitting at the table, “yeah. It was a really small bar in the middle of nowhere, Nico said he didn’t want to be recognised, despite the win.”

You hummed in response. The constant scrutiny must have been affecting them all after these past few games. “Cool. Did it actually work or,” you trailed off, not really sure how to finish your question. 

“Sort of, I mean we took a few pictures when we came in but it was a lot better than usual.”

“I’m glad then,” you said and turned back around to face him, “I’m glad nothing too exciting happened.”

At the word exciting his expression morphed into something odd. “What?” you asked.

“Nothing,” he answered but he wasn’t meeting your eyes anymore. 

“You can tell me, you know you can,” you reminded him, now getting closer to him again. You were usually able to get out every last secret of his if you just asked the right questions. 

“I know,” he assured you, now pulling you a little closer by your hip and resting his hand there. He had always been touchy like that, arms slung over your shoulders or around your waist, hands holding your wrist to pull you through crowds, thumbs circling your ankle when you rested your legs in his lap. 

“But it’s really nothing, I just got a little drunk,” he assured you, but you didn’t really buy it. 

Still, you had no real reason to press, knowing that it just made him close up further. He would end up telling you, just not now. “Okay.”

The two of you went back to your room soon after, deciding to watch a movie. You didn’t tell him that you were really, genuinely tired, because you knew he could tell. He always could, somehow, even if you yourself weren’t all that aware of it. Funny how that worked.

You sat down first and then patted the spot next to you on the bed, but for a split second you saw him hesitate. That hurt, just a bit because you had thought that the two of you were close enough for it to not matter anymore. 

Still, he leaned against the headboard next to you, his shoulder softly knocking against yours and your worries disappeared at that. You must have imagined it.

“Any preferences?”

“Ratatouille,” you said immediately, not even knowing where that request came from. 

He smiled, “I do like a girl that knows what she wants.”

For some reason you blushed at that, at the barely even there implication of being his. You really were going insane today. “Is that okay for you?”

“Sure,” he said, “let's watch the rat be a better cook than the two of us combined.”

You typed the website and clicked play on your screen and settled your laptop down between the two of you, one knee on each side of the bottom of it. 

You were suddenly keenly aware of the fact that you didn’t even own a tv, that you were watching a movie from your laptop when he could be at home, watching it on a screen that was at least double the size of this.

It was a stupid thought, so you brushed it off. He was a professional athlete, you were a college student. There was something fundamentally different about your current lives, as intertwined as they were. 

The movie started soon after, so you pushed all of that to the back of your mind. At first the two of you ran a semi-steady commentary about what was going on but soon after you were both too engrossed in the story to think about anything fun to say. 

When a sharp sound came from the screen you realised that you had your eyes closed. Sleepily you blinked your eyes open again. It must have been for a few minutes, at least because you weren't sure what was going on anymore. 

“Tired?” he asked, a knowing glint in his eyes. 

You let your forehead fall against his shoulder, this time on purpose. It was a welcome contrast to a few hours ago when you did the same thing against your front door. His shoulder was softer because of his sweatshirt and he smelled nice. Like the shampoo he used, like his laundry detergent. You wondered when that smell had become intrinsically his and not someone else's' like a friend of yours that used the same deodorant. 

You kind of wanted to drown in it, but you held yourself afloat anyway. He wasn’t yours, you weren’t his. The two of you weren’t like that.

“Had a hard day at work,” you mumbled, a little more tired now than you’d been just moments ago. His presence did that to you, calmed you down when you didn’t even know you were high to begin with. 

He lowered your shoulder a bit which made it more comfortable for you to rest your head on it. “You could have said no, you know that, right?”

But you had wanted to see him once you had seen his message. “I know.”

“Good,” he answered, as if it was as simple as that and remained quiet after that. 

You tried to turn your focus back to the movie, you really did, but before you knew it your eyelids were drooping again. 

Then you were woken up again, this time by Jack. 

The movie must have finished in the meantime because he had moved his arm, closing your laptop. You rubbed your eyes tiredly, trying to form a coherent thought but the only thing on your mind was the warmth of him next to you, the dream that just barely slipped out of your grasp. 

“Sorry,” you said.

He turned to you, surprised. “What for? If anything I should apologise, I kept watching even when you were tired.”

“You know I don't mind that,” you said. “I just wasn’t very good company today. Sorry.”

Jack knocked his shoulder against you with a little more purpose so you  turned to him. “Nope, none of that. I don’t mind, I got to see you, which is all I wanted anyway.”

How could he just say something like that? As if words like these didn’t bore themselves under your skin, living there forever, etching themselves into the white of your bones.

This casually, as if it didn’t just make your heart flutter the same way it did when you were eighteen, back when you had loved him. Still, in your barely illuminated room, late at night you let yourself linger. Let yourself pretend that his words held meaning. 

Let yourself pretend that the two of you were different.

You thought about the thousands of times you must have seen him just like this, in the dark, looking back at you. 

It was a weird memory that came to you, just then.

Back when the two of you had first met you had been crushing hard. It wasn’t really surprising, now looking back. You had never really gotten a lot of attention by boys growing up, so when he went out of his way to talk to you, you really had no choice but to fall for him. 

Liking him had become addicting. 

You could still remember the moment you thought he might like you back and the very same moment you knew it wasn’t, probably ever, going to work out between the two of you.

It was at a party, after you had just graduated. You had just come out of the bathroom, alone because your friend was finally, finally talking to the guy she liked. 

Then you picked up a friend’s voice somewhere down the corner, most likely from the kitchen. “C’mon your turn now. Who are you crushing on,” Aaron had said. They must still be playing a weird mixture of truth or dare and some other game you had already forgotten the name of.

Your mind immediately went to Jack, the way his hand had brushed yours when he had gotten you a drink earlier that night. 

“I don't?” Jack answered, slightly laughing, but there was an air of unease in his voice that you couldn’t help but notice. 

“C’mon, Jack don’t be like that,” someone else interjected, and suddenly you were a lot more invested in the conversation than just a moment ago. It was always like that when it was about him. 

“There are always so many girls throwing themselves at you, surely you want one of them,” you could hear the other guy’s jealousy from miles away but you weren’t sure if the others picked up on it too. 

“I’m serious, I barely have time for my friends already, let alone a girlfriend.” Jack said and there was this tiny spark of hope rising in your chest. Maybe you could change that. Maybe you could be the exception. 

“True,” Aaron agreed calmer than usual. You thought he might be noticing the tension waving off of the other guy. 

“There is no shame in admitting it,” the other guy doubled down, “what about that one girl? Short, brunette, on the track and field club.”

Oh god, he was describing your friend, the one you had just left with her crush. “Nah, wait I think she has a boyfriend, but what about her friend, the one that Kevin hangs out with.”

You. Shit, he was talking about you. Did you really want to hear Jack’s response? What if he said he didn’t like you? But what if he did?

“She is my friend too, you know,” Jack said, “but she is pretty, I guess.”

He guesses? That kind of really stung. You knew that there was nothing all that memorable about you, but it’s not like you were ugly. A thousand different insecurities that you thought you had worked through rose to the surface and you didn’t have the strength to push them back down. 

You had to escape, now, without being noticed and without listening to anything more. Still, your ear couldn’t help but pick up on the rest even as you pushed past that guy that sat behind you in math.

“Jack, don’t be like that,” the other guy insisted, “don’t you want to go up to her and just fuck her? I mean her ass-”

Humiliation. For some reason you felt humiliated and violated. You knew about locker room talk, but you had never wanted to be part of it. Tears were beginning to well up in your eyes and suddenly you could feel every single person that had touched any part of you today, suddenly questioning if it really was accidental. 

You had to get out, now. The static in your ear was loud and the bass vibrating through the soles of your feet seemed to turn it up even more. You had run away, texting the friend you came with some kind of bullshit excuse for leaving. 

The asphalt outside on the sidewalk was cold, but you sat down on it anyway. You just wanted to cry. Everything seemed so overwhelming and important all at once and you had no idea how to deal with all of it. 

Soon you were leaving high school for good, your friends were moving all across the country, you were so fucking lonely and the guy you had been crushing on for a better part of a year didn’t even think that you were worthy to look at. 

You drew your legs closer to your body and folded yourself up as much as possible. Growing up seemed scary all of a sudden. There was that one Lorde lyric that said that too, that you couldn’t quite pinpoint.

Suddenly people were streaming out of the house, all at once. You wiped your tears, looking up at what was happening. In the stream of people you couldn’t make out any of your friends.

Then you heard your name being called. It was Kevin, still standing at his door. He held Jack at the others shirt collar, as if he was holding up a particularly unruly cat that had gotten in trouble again. 

Your eyes must not have been red because when you came closer neither boy commented on it. “Get him home,” Kevin said and dumped a heap of Jack right in front of you. 

Jack glared back at where Kevin disappeared back into the house, eyes murderous. You had never really seen him act like that, especially to a friend. But then again how well did you really know him?

A beat of silence. You really wondered what on earth had happened for the party to just end. You shifted your weight on your feet. “Do you have a car?” you asked eventually. 

Jack brushed past you, “yeah. I’ll drive you home, didn’t drink anything.”

You followed him, but on the short walk back to his car neither of you said anything. 

The stereo remained off all the way back to your place. After you had stopped looking at him to try and figure out what had him in this bad of a mood, you looked outside. The neighbourhood was so familiar, and the horribly sad feeling from earlier came up again. 

You really needed some kind of distraction. “Thank you for driving me home.”

For a second he remained quiet and you really thought you were going to be ignored. He had always had a bit of a dramatic streak at times. “Of course.”

His expression remained scarily blank. “Can I ask what happened with Kevin?”

“Nothing,” he said, his gaze staring firmly ahead. Then, “I don’t like his friends.”

What kind of response was that? “Okay,” you tried, carefully, “then why did you come?”

“I didn’t know I didn’t like them before tonight,” he said. 

Then you looked at the way his hands were gripping the wheel, specifically at his knuckles. Wait- “did you punch one of them?”

He laughed, and the sound bounced off the small enclosure and some kind of happy feeling made your heart swell, even though you had been apprehensive about him just moments ago.

It was a lot longer than your comment had warranted. You really were a bit concerned about him. Should he be driving if he acted like this? “I might have.”

Before you could ask why, because you had never seen him actually punch anyone, he continued, “in my defense, he started it.”

“That’s a shitty defense,” you said, “that just means you have to be the one to take a step back first.”

He only shook his head in response but you were happy he was back to acting like that Jack you knew. “You would have punched him too, I just know it.”

“Sure,” you replied. You had never punched a person because you didn’t like them and you didn’t think you’d start anytime soon. 

“Trust me, you would have,” he said and left it at that. 

The two of you arrived at your place soon after, so you thanked him and left. 

The rest of the summer between highschool and college was spent getting over him, which you eventually succeeded at when he introduced his now ex-girlfriend to you and your friends. 

In college you went out on a few dates, but none of them ended up going anywhere. That was fine to you, because it just meant that you were prioritising other things now, like your studies and your friends. 

There wasn’t even anything all that similar between that memory and your current situation, but you drew the comparison anyway. His jaw was more refined now, his hair longer and his eyes seemed different now, a bit more mature maybe. Or maybe just a bit more tired. 

“What are you thinking about?” he asked. 

It must have been a bit strange, you just looking at him. “You,” you replied honestly. “Do you remember that one party, way back, after high school where you punched someone?”

He groaned and leaned his head back against the wall, his throat exposed. Your gaze lingered there for a bit before returning to his face. Some kind of feeling almost bubbled to the surface at the sound and the matching sight.

“I do.”

“I never actually figured why you did that.” When his gaze remained firmly on your ceiling, you continued, “I feel like now enough time has passed for you to admit why.”

He smiled a bit. “There was this other guy, right? The one I punched, I mean.”

You nodded. 

“He was being a real dick about one of my friends, and when he didn’t stop talking about her I just kinda wanted him to shut up. Moved before thinking about it.”

“Asshole,” you commented, not about Jack. 

“Right?” he turned his head so that he looked back down to you, “after that one punch I came back to myself but before I knew it Kevin had dragged me out by my collar, shouting that everyone had to go.”

“He must have wanted to avoid a full on fight,” you said. 

“For sure, can’t even blame him.” With a mischievous gleam in his eyes he said, “but it felt really good to finally shut him up.”

You laughed, thinking that the entire situation was a lot more dramatic than it really had any reason to be. The laugh turned to a yawn by the end. 

“I should leave,” he said but you had the weird urge to ask him to stay. 

“Sorry, I’m a lot more tired than I thought,” you said instead.

“Don’t apologise for that,” he said, getting up. He ended up offering you a hand to help you get up as well even though you really didn't need it. You took it anyway. 

He picked up the bag that he had left at the door, opened it and turned to you. “I had fun.”

You smiled, “me too.”

“Good,” he offered you a smile in return. You saw his hand reach out and stop for just a second, but before you could ask him about it, he held it against your temple and leaned down to give you a kiss on your forehead. He lingered in your orbit for a bit longer than the duration of the kiss, just hovering above you. 

“See you soon,” he said, waving, and you replied the same. Then you closed your door and locked it. 

You didn’t need to hold your hand against your cheek to feel it burn. What was that? He had never done that before. He had never done anything like that before, ever.

You stumbled to your bathroom, and went through the motions of brushing your teeth and going on the toilet. When you finally crawled under your sheets, you let yourself sink down into them. 

Still, you were too tired to properly dissect the entire interaction so instead you closed your eyes. You drifted to sleep, your mind focusing on the tips of his ears that had seemed a bit flushed when he closed the door behind himself. 

taglist: @alwaysclassyeagle @hughescomplex @lupinslibraries @megaluke @cixrosie (send me an ask to be added!)

[totheblood]

true blue. (three)

pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie buys a scone and you drink a shirley temple

warnings: suggestive themes, drug/alcohol usage, cursing, descriptions of abusive behavior (neither ellie or reader engages in these behaviors)

a/n: i love writing as ellie writing in her journal... also the ai audios were a bitch to make this time... hope u like them THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD - I apologize.

here is the masterlist where you can read part one and two!

Ellie wanted nothing more than to pretend the last two days of her life didn’t exist.

But that wasn’t possible. This was real life and Ellie had received a booty call from her most recent heartbreak merely hours after she had her fingers tucked inside of her ex. Ellie wasn’t even completely sure why she was entertaining it, but she knew that whatever choice she made she would curse herself forever. 

The truth was that Ellie had missed Cat almost as much as she hated her. There’s a certain kind of comfort that only your first love can bring, and a certain kind of addiction Ellie had for her. But at the end of the day, it always came down to one thing: Ellie wanted to be known by someone.

And she was known by Cat, albeit for only for a few months, but still she was known. Cat saw all the worst parts of her and still held her like glass every night. She saw the things that Ellie couldn’t even imagine liking about herself and turned them into something beautiful. Ellie’s heart had been harbored in the chest of Cat’s for almost a year and that was something you couldn’t just forget.

Then there was you. Ellie had known you all for a few weeks and was already entranced by you. She liked the little things you did, like buy her tea after realizing she didn’t like coffee or how you always printed an extra sheet of notes knowing she would forget to bring hers to class. What astonished Ellie even more was that you did most of this while she was giving you the cold shoulder.

What plagued Ellie about this was that she knew for a fact that if she got to know you, she would fall in love with you. She had already written down a list of things about you in her journal and she was starting to feel like she was going insane.

Likes a lot of sugar in her coffee… too much sugar almost, made a comment about it and she told me ‘that’s why she was so sweet’.. It was corny as fuck. She’s fucking adorable.

This little freak told me how she communicates with squirrels, she waves her arm or some shit, i told her she was clinically insane… AND THEN SHE DID IT??? She moved her arm and a fucking squirrel ran up to us… what the fuck, is this girl magic?

She smiles everytime she sees me, even after I’ve been a jerk.. Dina told me I should drop it but I can’t, when I see her stupid beautiful face I remember Cat, am i the crazy one?

She looked so sad today. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but I didn’t… I’m such an asshole sometimes. I don’t know why I do this to myself. If I was her I’d run the other way but she just sticks around… who does that?

I swear she’s playing mind games with me, her shirt was so tight today that i just

 She smells like cherry and vanilla… almost want to take a bite

She didn’t text me about the project today… is she forgetting about me?

Ellie never thought she would be in this predicament. She never imagined having a sense of loyalty to you, but a part of her felt that if she went over to Cat’s she would be betraying you. 

So she didn’t.

That Saturday morning Ellie went to Bean and picked up the strawberry scone you love so much and your coffee with extra sugar and headed over to your dorm. As she approached your building her palms got increasingly more sweaty. She was quickly losing the confidence she had when she was with you yesterday, but she was determined to start fresh with you. 

She even imagined the two of you bonding over shitty exes, kissing all the places they refused to. She imagined crying in your lap instead of Dina’s and kissing the inside of your thigh when she finally felt better. She imagined taking a bath with you, you rubbing whatever sickly sweet cherry scent you were obsessed with over her body. She was imagining a lot of things, but she was getting ahead of herself. 

Ellie knocked about five times before deciding that you were asleep. Just as she turned to leave she heard a groan from the other side of the door.

“Ugh, hello?” Your voice came out raspy, evidence of last night in your voice. 

“Um, hi… it’s me.” Ellie spoke, her throat getting a little bit dry. “It’s Ellie.”

“Oh shit, Ellie.” You opened the door quickly ushering her in. She stepped in and watched as you put a hand on your forehead, the hangover written all over your face. It was evident that you had slept in your make-up, as she could see the mascara smudged across your face. You looked like a fucking mess, but Ellie thought you looked beautiful.

Suddenly, she was shy again. “Fun night, huh?” She joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, it was fucking fantastic.” You replied sarcastically, climbing back onto your bed and patting the spot next to you, ushering Ellie to join you. “What’cha got there?” You questioned, eyes glancing at the bag and cup she had resting in her hands. 

“Oh it’s, uh, it’s that scone you like… and your sugar coffee.” She walked over to where you were, handing you the bag and cup as she sat down next to you. She smiled as she watched your features soften as you blinked up at her, a small genuine smile on your face. 

“For me?” You beamed. Ellie noticed two things right away: you had tears in your eyes, and no one had ever done something like this for you before. It was so small in terms of gestures, but Ellie’s heart swelled with pride as you thanked her.

She watched you take a bite, before you closed your eyes and gave her a fake moan. “This is so fucking good. I needed this.” 

“I’m glad.” She gently nudged your shoulder with hers. 

“Ellie… I don’t mean this to be rude, but why are you here?” You asked reluctantly. She could tell you weren’t trying to be rude so she didn’t take any real offense to it. If Ellie was being honest with herself she couldn’t exactly place why she was here either. All she knew was that she didn’t want to be at Cat’s. She also knew that she wanted to hang out with you, but the more she sat here the more she realized she should’ve asked you. 

“Oh I, I just wanted to talk about yesterday…” She came up with the lie quickly knowing it may be the only thing that made sense. “And what that means for us… not that there is an us but… you know.”

All you did was nod and take another bite of your scone. “What does it mean for us?” 

She took a deep breath as she eyed you. You truly were the eighth wonder of the world to her. It was like there was something that was always pulling her towards you. At first she thought that something was Cat, but there was no way that whatever attraction she had to you was based on Cat alone. 

You were completely different. When she spoke, it was obvious you were listening. It was like you wanted to hear what she had to say. You laughed at her lame joke and never made her feel like an idiot for making them. When she got quiet you would try to bring her out of her shell by telling her stupid puns. She was mad at you at the time, but her heart still appreciated it. You never let her look stupid in class or in public. One time you even got down on your knee and tied her shoe for her. You were heaven incarnate, and you made her feel like she was deserving of that.

“I just… I think when I met you it scared me how much I liked you. I had just gotten broken up with and I couldn’t get into another thing… you know? But there you were with your sweet fucking voice and pens and I just.. I shut down and I pulled away from you and I know yesterday felt so sudden but I had been thinking about doing that for a while now. I think I want to know you more, but in order to do that I think we should start over. Clean slate. Act like my fingers were never inside you and all that. Maybe even let me take you out on a date.” Ellie rambled out, carefully watching your face for any reaction that would give you away. 

“Oh Ellie,” You whispered, your voice soft and tender. You brought a hand up to push her hair behind her ears, ignoring how her face flushed and grew hot. “I would love that. But I refuse to forget those fingers.”

“They’re good fingers, right?” She was beaming up at you, freckled and starry eyed. “How about tomorrow for that date?” 

“Works for me.” You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. This had felt more like a first kiss to Ellie than anything she had done prior. It was gentle and sweet and left her pulse racing. It was the kind of kiss that she closed her eyes for, hoping it would last longer. It was the kind of kiss you held your breath for.

-

It had been almost three weeks since you and Ellie started going out, and she was on the verge of asking you to be her girlfriend. That title was still sore in her chest but she was fighting through it for you. 

You were someone who had ‘girlfriend’ written all over them. You were the type of person people would want to call their girlfriend. You always kissed Ellie goodbye, held her hand as much as possible, and best of all you gave really good head. Ellie was trying to be less vulgar and more romantic but the minute you started working her with your tongue, she became 16 again. 

Ellie had made it a habit to add more about you in her journal after every date you had, the scribbles getting more frantic as the time went on. She felt like a fucking child.

She ordered a Shirley Temple at dinner today… At first I was like??? What the fuck? But then she took the cherry stem and tied it with her tongue. THEN she told me that she was going to show me again later… and in my head I’m like??? But then later came and… well so did I.

We saw a stray cat on our walk today and it approached us… a cat has never fucking approached me in my life? Maybe I have shit vibes or something.. But not my girl, she’s like a fucking rainbow. She pet it and made a comment about getting pussy. I’m crushing on the girl I’m going out with.

This little weirdo made me a mug in her pottery class, carved her name into a heart and everything. Even said the heart was mine.. It was so fucking cute… her… not the mug. The mug was ugly as fuck. She did her best.

Joel came for family day today and met her. He told me she was cute but a little fucking weird, just like me. What an asshole. I counted the amount of times she made him laugh. It was 24. 24 times in 2 hours. Joel Miller has never laughed that much in his entire life. But the fact that he likes her so much makes my heart warm. I don’t even mind that he might like her more than me.

She had been begging to hang out with my friends so Dina and Jesse and us went on a double date. Her and Dina act like they know each other. They were all giggly. It was gross. Jesse even seems to like her. He gave her the last bread in the basket. JESSE! Jesse did that. It seems small but that’s like something he never does. I’m starting to believe this girl is a witch… I’m starting to believe I’m in love with her.

I’ve been writing her a song on the guitar. She saw the guitar in my room one time and called me “her little rockstar”... what a fucking nerd. She asked me to play for her but I got nervous… that has never happened before… What are you doing to me????

Ellie was smitten. Ellie was so smitten that she almost forgot about Cat. Almost. Because at this very moment Cat was charging towards her as she sat on the grass with her journal in her hands.

“Hey.” Cat sighed, sitting down next to Ellie.

“What do you want, Cat?” Ellie grunted out, moving over so she wasn’t sat so close to her. 

“You never came by.” She sounded genuinely sad, so much so that it threw Ellie off. 

“I got busy.” Ellie wanted this to be over so badly.

“With my ex? If you two are playing the long game it isn’t going to work. I don’t care.” Cat replied, anger almost evident in your voice. 

“How is my relationship about you?” This time Ellie turned towards Cat, closing the journal in your hands.

“It’s obvious what you guys are doing. This little act to make me upset, yeah, it’s not working. You’re both my exes for a reason” She spat.

“Not everything is about you. She doesn’t even know I’m your ex, you have never come up in our conversations.” Ellie was getting annoyed, but instead Cat just laughed, something sinister filling her eyes.

“Oh, you don’t know?” Cat snorted.

“Know what?” Ellie questioned, trying to keep the anger in her voice to a minimum. 

“She hated you, Ellie. Thought you were the one I left her for. Technically she was right, but she called me to curse me out about it. Showed me the birthday post I made you with literal tears in her eyes.” 

And if Ellie’s heart was broken by Cat, it was absolutely shattered by you.

ai audios:

i've reached my daily limit for audios (tumblr hates happy people) so i have attached them as links this time.. cause i did not work so hard on them for them not to be posted.

oh i just wanted to talk about yesterday

i just i think when i met you it scared me

they're good fingers, right?

[nathanbatemanfucker]

In Plain Sight, Ch 2: A Hoard of Cupids

summary: nathan’s much more insightful about you than he used to be. it’s making you uneasy…and curious.

pairing: nathan bateman x f!reader

contents: 18+/NSFW/MINORS DNI, enemies to lovers (sorta), boss/employee dynamics, pining, nathan trying to be nice but he’s so abrasive lol, pining, mentions of caretaking/sick family members, mentions of emotionally abusive parents, masturbation (m), sub!nathan if you squint

wc: 2,745

AN: back at it with part twoooo. thank you all for the kind words and support on this fic, i didn’t expect it to get the response it did but i’m really excited to give y’all the rest. fair warning that these chapters seem to be getting longer as i write on. happy reading!

in plain sight masterlist | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

Nathan gives you space— at first. When you return the next day at 7 a.m. sharp he’s nowhere to be found. Not in the living room or in the kitchen, not on his patio boxing. You assume he’s in his room, probably toying with one of his bots in a distasteful manner. The idea makes you shudder. But is it not easier to come to work with every task he could want you to do placed on his desk, no fuss?

You don’t like Nathan Bateman. He’s a pompous asshole, a know it all, a man who thinks only about his own desires. When he apologized— or rather attempted to— yesterday you thought that maybe you slipped and fallen down the stairs on your way out. By his standards, it was a top tier apology. You’d never once heard him apologize to anyone. On your drive home you had wondered if he had ever apologized in his life. The thought made you giggle, and then you’d turned up the music and forgotten about him until right now.

Sat at your desk, an ungodly stack of things to do. There’s a note sat on top. It’s simple and straightforward, lacking emotion but somehow still has your stomach flipping. It reads:

In meetings all day— let me know if you need anything. Go home early today.

Mr. Bateman

P.S. I’ll spruce up my apologizing skills.

You regard the note cautiously, raising your brow at it before you let yourself laugh a little. Was this a joke or had Nathan Bateman taken some criticism to heart (which is rumored to not exist). You fold the note up, and for some reason slip it into your bag.

The last thing that’s on your mind is that Nathan’s watching you. He sits in the dark at his monitors, leaning in closely. His eyes trace your figure on the screens intensely, watching as you read and read and read. He expects no reaction from you beside maybe throwing it in the trash. But then you laugh, and he watches you store it for safekeeping. A piece of him will go home with you. Nathan never thought he’d be jealous of a piece of paper, not when he seems to have the entire world at his fingertips.

—

He returns to his normal behavior after a week— partially because he thinks you settled in. And partially because…well he begrudgingly can admit to himself, in the comfort of his own mind, that he misses you. When you get to work the next Monday he’s sat on an observation table, examining what looks like a deconstructed robot brain.

You aren’t even able to open your mouth and say good morning before he’s talking to you.

“Are you sleeping okay?” He asks, his eyes appraising you intensely.

You stop in your tracks, regarding him as always, your expression pieced into that calm expression. So you’re back to normal, none of that fire. He expected it but that doesn’t keep him from feeling disappointed.

“Sir?”

“You look really fucking tired. Exhausted,” He tacts on for good measure.

Your spine goes completely rigid, your grip on your bag tightening. You are tired. So very tired. You work shitty hours for incredible money and then go home to take care of your younger sisters and mother. Dealing with Nathan is for them. For your sisters’ schooling, so they won’t feel left out when the other kids have the newest gadget or shoes. For your mother’s ever piling medical bills. It’s important that you don’t jeopardize something so precious.

“Is it affecting my work? Have I done something wrong?” You ask him softly.

“No— that’s not why I’m—“ He stutters before closing his mouth and starting anew. You’ve never seen him like this. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was flustered. But knowing Nathan, he’s just never asked a single employee he’s ever had if they’re alright. “I’m your boss, I worry about your well being. That’s what good bosses do.”

“Are you sure?” You ask evenly, eyes still trained on him.

“Am I—“ He stops, eyes wide for a fraction of a second before he bites away his smile. “Are you fucking with me?”

If he was looking at you so intentionally he would miss the way your mouth twitches. “I’m fine, Mr. Bateman. I have a lot of responsibilities, not only here but out there as well.”

“Out there?”

“The real world. Thank you for the concern, sir.”

For the second time, you’ve rendered Nathan speechless. That night he lays in bed thinking of you, like many nights prior. He turns your words over in his head time and time again. The real world. Do you think he doesn’t know what it’s like out there? He wonders how much research you’d done for the job. Nathan used his brain to get here, climbing and climbing. He hadn’t been born into this but his personality lent itself to such a conclusion. Nathan knows what his real world used to look like, though one day he hopes that any of his contraptions can help him forget. He wonders what your real world looks like.

There’s no ring on your finger, but you could have a partner. Kids? Another job? He pays you well enough for that to not be necessary. Maybe you volunteer at a puppy shelter. He could picture it. You in something other than your stuffy work clothes, a smile on your face as you drown in puppy breath and slobber.

He groans, rolling over in bed to plant his face deeply in the pillow. Maybe he can smother himself out of this. Thinking about puppies? He might as well be one, he’s practically lovesick if you have him thinking like this. When would he get used to feeling this way? His usual cynical thoughts feel like they’re being pillaged by a hoard of cupids.

He doesn’t even know if you feel the same. Being better for you is one thing, but what if there’s no payoff? What if he changes for you and you leave him high and dry? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He feels the back of his neck sweating and sits up.

Nathan’s been down this road before, it’s brought him his fortune and an insane work ethic. It’s all brought him sorrow he’ll never be able to escape. Being with his parents feels like a fever dream sometimes and other times he feels 6 again, like he’s drowning in their expectations and insults, trying to measure up. He’d given up eventually, once he realized that they would never love him the way parents should. Why try to do anything anyone wanted but himself when they could still treat him poorly for it?

He’s the way he is from his own indoctrination. He doesn’t know where he would be if he hadn’t convinced himself that he was the only person that truly matters.

But, now there’s you. You, who looks so soft, you that scratches an itch he didn’t even realize he had. You, that he wants to goad and prod and poke until you unleash all of yourself on him. He closes his eyes and lays back, envisioning you right here with him. He feels insane, his heart— his mind, his dick— are taking him through a whirlwind of emotions right now.

He palms himself through his boxers, eyes squeezing shut tighter than before as he tries to narrate. He pictures you in one of his white shirts, it’s fabric nearly see-through with the way it clings to your breasts. He grasps his length through his boxers letting out a heaving sigh. Fuck he wishes this was you.

If there’s anything that Nathan knows how to do its not only being smartest but the most imaginative. He’s been daydreaming for as long as he can remember. Universes with better outcomes— having worth, or loving parents or anyone for that matter. Anyone to be on his side. He imagined codes and synthetic body parts that live and breathe in front of him. He can surely imagine you, breathy and horny in his bed, jerking him off. He doesn’t care if it’s fucked up, or inappropriate. He wants you, and maybe this is the only way he can have you. He slides his boxers down, finally done teasing himself. Licking his palm, he grabs his cock, starts stroking and succumbs to the thought of you.

Another moan bubbles out of his throat. He can see your nipples through his shirt when you straddle him like this. Your thighs are soft against his own and he would reach for your free hand, thread his fingers through your own. Your hands are smaller than his, smooth and supple. And god, you’re stroking him just the way he likes it, the soft wet sound making pleasure shoot through his groin.

You’d overstimulate him wouldn’t you? With that clever mouth barely pulling up a grin, eyes full of fire as you stroke him past the point of pleasure. Would you make him watch? See the way your hands would grow slick and shiny with his cum as you kept pumping and pumping, pushing him to another release. Covering you both in him, until you’re too needy to keep toying with him. Nathan cums just as he’s imagining the feeling of you dragging your bare pussy against his sensitive cock. He whines and keens off the bed, the high singing in his veins. He swears he can almost imagine the way you would moan.

His eyes open, the spell broken. He’s alone, covered in his own spend, chest heaving like he just ran a 10k. He avoids his reflection when he walks into the bathroom to clean up. His loneliness spikes again and he heads to the kitchen, reaching for the first bottle he can find.

—

“You’re late,” He says stiffly, crossing his arms as he watches you cross the space to sit at your desk.

The day after he’d gotten off thinking of you he’d had the slightest difficulty looking at you. It quickly faded, he was too greedy. Too needy, if he’s being honest. He can’t get enough, he doesn’t know if he could ever say it but you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

You’re openly frazzled; your shirt isn’t tucked in, your hair is a little more frizzy than usual and you look as tired as ever. He regrets his biting tone immediately.

Even as you explain you’re moving, setting your to-go mug on the desk, fetching your calendar, booting up your computer. “I know, I’m sorry, Mr. Bateman. My sisters were less than cooperative this morning.”

Nathan turns completely away from the bins he’s been searching through, raising a brow at you in surprise, “Your sisters?”

“Yes— one is 7 the other is 14. The little made getting out of the house…difficult,” You murmur distractedly, eyes trained on your screen.

“Isn’t that your parents’ fucking job?”

His question snaps you back to the present— you hadn’t shared nearly as much as you could’ve. But you’d gone into this job wanting to be nameless and faceless. Memorable only for the quality of the work you do.

You shake your head, daring a quick glance in his direction that you immediately regret when your eyes meet his.“I realized that I’ve shared far too much about my personal life. I should work, Mr. Bateman.”

Nathan immediately understands your deflecting. How many times has he been asked by reporters and interviewers where his family is? Enough times that he’s had his publicist strike the topic from the acceptable lists. That was about all he was good for anyway, Nathan says what he wants when he wants.

He goes back to the task at hand— though now with you here he doesn’t quite remember what that was. A part…some sort of part that he needed. Wires? Screws? A metal plate? He sighs in frustration and leaves without another word.

Your gaze is on the door as soon as it shuts, making sure he’s gone. The tears that you’ve been biting back fall and you bury your face in your hands. Your youngest sister had begged and pleaded for you to stay warm in bed with her this morning. With your mother so sick, you’ve practically raised her yourself these last few years. It makes her needy, which you understand. But what she doesn’t understand is how delicate the balance you found in caring for your entire family is. Middle sister lacks just as much understanding, with heaps of attitude. She doesn’t want to snuggle with you or with younger sister. Mediating this entire situation is what made you late.

It feels like you’re cracking under the pressure but that isn’t an option, is it? As if the universe wants to make it clear, your computer chimes. It’s Nathan, asking you to come to his office.

—

He’d meant to go clear his head in his office and come back to get whatever part he was in need of. But, when he sat in his chair he was met with the sight of you hunched over your desk, presumably crying by the way your shoulders jerked every once and a while.

He’s pinging you before he can think better of it. He watches you read his message. You’re such an anomaly— you sit up immediately, reaching for some tissues and cleaning yourself up as if nothing happened. You even check yourself in the reflection of your computer, fidgeting with your hair, tucking in your shirt once you stand. As soon as you start out of the office he turns off his monitors, not one to be caught snooping around though it’s right and was clear in the contract. Maybe you’ve forgotten. Perhaps you don’t think your anything worth watching…Nathan would like to change that assumption.

“You pinged me, sir?”

How would he play this? He couldn’t admit that he just watched you cry.

“Trying my hand at this apologizing shit again. I— Nathan Bateman— am sorry for being insensitive. Like I said last time, I don’t know your life or you. Alright, how was that?”

“I would say a solid, 5/10, which is a 50% improvement.”

“Fuck me, you’re a tough crowd. What am I docked for? You know I’m all about perfection.”

“There was a lack of originality. And you omitted your middle name.”

It takes everything in Nathan not to giggle. The way the words come out of your mouth are so funny… or maybe he’s just obsessed. It could be both. “My middle name is classified information.”

“Does Wikipedia know that?” You ask, tilting your head in that uncanny way.

Nathan can’t hold in his laugh this time, running a hand over his beard, “You’re funnier than you look.”

Your mouth twitches, and you give him the smallest nod, “Thank you, sir. Is that all?”

He pretends to think about it. “This apology is feeling pretty one-sided to me.”

“I accept your apology, Mr. Bateman, thank you.”

“Accept something else,” He proposes, going out on a limb. Suddenly your stare is too intense, the room is too hot and small. What the fuck is he doing?

“What’s that?” You ask, as soft and sweet as ever.

“Dinner. Tomorrow,” He says simply.

“With you?”

Nathan ignores the twinge in his heart— your tone barely changed. If he wasn’t with you every single day, studying you, he wouldn’t even have noticed.

“I can invite the droids if you want. They’ll just stare at us while we eat.”

Your hand tightens around your planner. Dinner with Nathan…choosing to be around him? It seemed like as of late he was trying to be…more palatable. This could be an act of good faith. But, you have your sisters and mother to think about. You’ve given her nurse enough overtime hours in the last few weeks.

“Without getting too personal, I don’t think I’ll be able to swing it sir, I have to get home to my sisters as soon as possible.”

Yes, your family, that you never talk about. He could accommodate, what’s he the fucking boss for if he can’t?

“We’ll do it early.”

You sway a little as you think about this— that’s new, he thinks to himself, filing that information away for later.

“You’ve already got me apologizing, I can’t add saying please to the list of acceptable behaviors. I’ll lose my fucking edge.”

“How early?”

“3:30.”

“Alright, then, sir.”

nathan taglist: @missdictatorme, @hon3yboy, @runa-falls, @campingwiththecharmings, @toracainz, @steven-grants-world, @clemdango04, @jdbxws, @crispysublimecupcake, @sub-aro, @faretheeoscar, @cupidysm, @whentheskyispinkandabitblue , @nova-ivy541, @sparkypantelones, @veritable-trash, @mangoslushcrush, @kotaropuppy

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

I can no longer answer this ask...

If someone is friends with Pineapple and has the means to get in touch with her outside of Tumblr, would you please do me a huge favor or two?

Could you send her the link to this so I have some way of telling her how devasted I am to see her deactivate her account in the time it took me to open the ask from when I first saw it this morning? To tell her how fucking sorry I am that people have been so shitty as to accuse her of sending anon hate to folks she's had a falling out with?

And to thank her for sending me this ask either just because, or in response to the awful day I had yesterday.

I don't use Discord for Tumblr communities following my own falling-out back in 2018. A falling out that, frankly, traumatized me.

Long story short: I wrote a fanfiction based off of a popular fanartist's work back in the height of Detroit: Become Human's popularity. A fanfic that had been praised to my face, but was belittled and torn apart over the smallest of fucking mistakes. BEHIND MY BACK. And word got back to me because the person who this artist was shit-talking my work to was a far more decent person than the artist. (An artist who had too much of a fucking ego to say a single kind thing about other artists' artwork, as well.)

It's not my only instance of cyber-bullying I've experienced in my life, but it's among my worst.

It's part of why I'm so fucking reserved and hesitant to make deeper connections with the often wonderful people in this niche. That experience in 2018 has forever affected me. Has forever made me feel small, and worthless, and frightened of putting my hard work out there again when there are so many creative giants out there with 1000+ followings.

It took me YEARS to be brave enough to not just participate in fandoms again, but to put parts of my fucking heart and soul out there in the fanfiction I posted for folks to read. Folks as accepting and unconditionally kind as Pineapple were part of the reason I felt comfortable enough to stick around. To tread in the same paths as these creative giants. To start putting out ART again, which was another part of myself that I shelved following that 2018 Discord bullshit.

Now Pineapple has been driven into such a deep corner that she chose (or felt forced) to deactivate her account because of multiple, malicious accusations.

And now our community is a little darker for it.

To those who believed Pineapple would send hate mail, and to those who were actually responsible:

If you think she would be the sort of person to stoop so, so low as to send hate anons to someone, even someone she's had a falling out with, you have it so fucking twisted.

I can only assume you have some kind of agenda borne out of jealousy for someone so genuine, someone who treated people so fairly. Which, is frankly too much a fucking rarity these days in fandom. (Yeah. I see some of y'all with your clique behavior.) You ought to be fucking ASHAMED of yourselves.

I know all too clearly my voice does not carry a lot of weight in this fandom because I'm a writer and fanartist with a humble following of 210 people. That's it. But I will be VERY blunt all the same when I say that there is no fucking place for you here. Snake-like behavior, like this, will not be tolerated.

It will never be tolerated.

[louloulemons-posts]

The Criminal And The Princess V

Grumpy!College!Eddie X Sunshine!Skater!Reader

Summary : Eddie and Eden have a study session.

Word Count : 1.5k

Warnings : Swearing, cuteness, eddie and eden fluff, it’s a pretty tame chapter.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

I had spotted Eddie after passing a few large bookcases, the library wasn’t very busy today, and the people that were here looked rough.

“Hey,” I said quietly.

“Hi,” he smiled up at me. Sitting down next to him I pulled out my laptop, opening it up on the table.

“How’s your day been?” Eddie asked.

I hummed, “It’s been fine, just hung with the girls, yours?” Eddie scrunched his brows at me, “I thought you were meeting your dad for lunch.”

“Yeah well he cancelled,” I shrugged. “How’s your day been Eddie?” I think Eddie got the hint that I really didn’t want to speak about my dad.

“Good, had the opening shift this morning so.”

“How was maintenance duty yesterday?”

“Cold,” he joked.

I flashed him a smile, “You’ll get used to it if they keep making you work there.”

“I think there’s a meeting today about it,” Eddie shrugged.

“Oh,” maybe that’s why dad cancelled?

“Anyways, let’s get started.” And so we did, we both already knew stuff about James Hetfield so I put all of that in a document first.

“I’m sorry I can’t type any of my stuff up,” Eddie said from beside me, “It’s okay. I know not everyone has a laptop.”

“Yeah, still makes me feel shitty.”

“You shouldn’t, I really don’t mind. If there’s anything missing we can text.”

I paused before continuing, “You do have a phone right?”

“Shit princess I’m not that deprived!” he laughed, making shushing sounds come from all around.

“I’m only teasing.” He threw a grin my way, trying to laugh quietly. “Do you want to hang out after?” I asked him.

“Hm?”

“Like after we’ve wrote all this up, do you want to go and do something?”

“Like what?” I hummed, thinking, “I don’t know anything.”

“I have an idea,” he smiled.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Heading out of the library, Eddie my bag whilst I put my jacket on. “Thanks,” I smiled, trying to take my bag from him, but the boy just swapped the shoulder my bag rested on.

“You don’t have to.”

“What kind of knight would I be if I let my princess hold such a heavy bag.” I laughed at him as he led us to his van.

“I know it looks banged up, but I promise it’s completely safe,” he was panicking, as he explained. “It’s okay Eddie, I trust you.” I squeezed his arm to reassure him.

His face seemed to warm up at that, “Good, cause you should.” He opened the door for me, “M’lady.” Sliding into the seat, Eddie placed my bag down by my feet.

After shutting the door, he walked around the front, tripping slightly. I had to cover my mouth so I didn’t let out a loud laugh. “Not a word,” the boy said, as he climbed in the drivers seat.

“I didn’t say anything,” I defended myself. “Your face says plenty,” he smirked at me.

“It was kinda funny.” He made a shushing sound at me, then put the keys in the ignition.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Now, princess, that’s a surprise.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“If you’re gonna kill me, at least let me know why Eds,” I said climbing out of the van, we were at an old warehouse. Red bricks and old metal window panes.

“Definitely not. You said you trust me right?”

“Yeah?”

“Then come with me,” he held out his hand towards me. I did trust him, so I took his hand.

It was crazy how much I trusted him after only knowing him for a few days, I knew of him. Robin had mentioned hanging out with Steve and her metalhead friend before - clearly that was Eddie.

The warehouse was cold and run down, dingy. The stereotypical abandoned warehouse, Eddie held my hand as we walked up a couple flights of stairs. “In here,” he said, holding a door open for me.

It was pitch black in there, the only light coming from the door the boy was holding open. “Eddie seriously what the hell?”

“Trust me,” he closed the door, and I felt him walk around me.

“Eddie!” I whisper-shouted into the darkness. His footsteps got louder, he was near me now. “Trust me,” he said from behind me, making me jump.

“Eddie,” I sighed.

“Look up,” he whispered by my ear. I did as he said, titling my head back, It was beautiful the dark ceiling was full of stars, different constellations dotted here and there.

Holy shit. “I know right,” Eddie laughed, I hadn’t even noticed I said it out loud. The boy walked away from me, turning the light up. The once dark ceiling was revealed to be a deep shade of blue.

It was beautiful, the stars, which I’d now noticed were small lights were connected with golden lines. Planets and supernovas were planted, beautiful purples and blues danced amongst the gold.

The sun and moon both had beautiful faces, looking at each other as if they longed to meet one day. It was one of the most stunning things I’ve ever seen.

“Did you … did you paint this?” I said to the boy, I hadn’t noticed his hand on the small of my back, clearly keeping me from leaning too far.

“Music wasn’t the only thing mom passed down to me,” he shrugged.

“Oh Eddie it’s beautiful.”

“It is isn’t it?”

You couldn’t stop staring, the stars continued down the walls, until they met the deep mahogany floor. “How long did this take you?”

“Well it was me and my uncle, it’s a good bonding experience. He wasn’t my mom’s brother, but he loved her nonetheless.”

“He sounds like a good man, and your mom, she sounds brilliant.”

“She was,” Eddie smiled, “Come on,” We walked around the large room, I would ask every once in a while what the constellations were.

He pointed out Orion along with all of the zodiac constellation, he’d motion to the larger stars, Regulus and Sirius, and even Arcturus.

Eddie stumbled as he walked, making me grab hold of him, pulling him towards me. “Careful,” I smiled. He chuckled, his face flushing.

“You just know every constellation?” I laughed. “Well not off the top of my head.”

“You really are nothing like I thought.”

“Neither are you, you’re even better.”

I smiled at him, feeling our bodies get closer, without even thinking about it. A phone rang loudly, “Shit!” Eddie said, digging into his pocket, then looked at the screen of the device.

“Wayne?” You heard mumbling from the other side, “Uh yeah okay, I’ll be there soon.” Hanging up he shoved the phone in his pocket. “Everything okay?”

“Got called into work, I’m sorry, we’ll have to cut this short Princess, but I’ll bring you back here another time.”

“Okay,” I said softly, taking my hand in his, Eddie led me out of the warehouse.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“I’m really sorry we had to cut this short,” Eddie apologised, as he opened the door for me. “Eddie really, it’s okay. I hope your shift goes okay.”

“Thanks, uh I’ll text you, okay?”

“Okay,” I smiled.

I waved goodbye to Eddie as he drove away and headed up to the apartment. Letting my self in I called out, “It’s only me!”

Sliding my shoes off, shrugging off my jacket I kept my bag in hand. “Hey,” Nancy said, appearing down the hall from me. “Hey?” I replied, sensing something was wrong.

“Sorry is Jonathan here? I can head back out,” I went to put my jacket back on.

“Uh no, your dad’s here.”

“What?” I asked, I pushed past her gently and walked into the living room.

He sat with a coffee cup in hand, “Ah I was wondering when you’d show up,” he spoke.

“I was studying for a project.”

“With Eddie?”

“He was assigned as my partner.”

He hummed and I sat down as far as I could from the man, making me able to see his face. “Uhh I’ll leave you two to talk,” Nancy said, retreating to her room.

I clocked Robin loitering in the door way, with wide eyes, before she walked away to her room. “Thank you for the coffee Nancy,” my father said.

She hummed before shutting her door. “Is there a reason you’re here?”

“The meeting I was at earlier, it was about Billy and Mr Munson. I heard from Steve. I came to …” the man gulped, “apologise.”

“You’re apologising to the wrong person.”

“I will say my apologies to Mr Munson when I see him.” I nodded.

“And will Hargrove get punished?”

“He’s been taken off the team for the forcible future. I don’t condone violence like that, or mistreatment of people in that way. Especially you.” I didn’t know what to say to that.

“Was there anything else?” The man placed the coffee cup on the table, then pushed himself up.

“No, that’s all. I’ll leave you be now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye.” I didn’t walk him out, just listening to the door close.

I heard two doors open, “Did your dad just-“Robin began. “Apologise? Yeah he did.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard him do that,” Nancy spoke. “Yeah I forgot he could.”

I dropped my face into my hands, letting out a sigh. What the fuck?

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

what is happening?

a/n : just wanna thank you guys for 1.1k followers 😚 all my love to youuu 🫶🏻

taglist : @gnrquinn @flawiette @taylorswiftsloverfr @mygirlchaos @marvelcasey05 @ali-r3n @browneyes8288

let me know if you want to be added 🫶🏻

[umbrellalavender]

Umbrella Academy spoilers:

I’ve just finished the show.

I’m balling my eyes out on my sofa. Yet at the same time I feel so emotionally numb.

I enjoyed this season so much!

I don’t know if the ending was satisfying or not. I just don’t know. It made me feel something.

I was singing along to I Think We’re Alone Now just crying at the end. And I was screaming seeing all the characters back. And when Gabriel Bà was in it! (It might have been better if I watched it yesterday, considering that’s the day Pogo said?)

There were some moments that just really hit! Lila sending her family off to another timeline knowing that she’s going to have to sacrifice herself. Her and Allison knowing that their children aren’t going to have parents. And just seeing them on the field all happy made me cry so much.

I hate to admit that I wasn’t satisfied with Ben’s ending. I thought it would be a bit more emotional, but it just kind of sucked that he didn’t get that time with the others at the end. The effects when he was turning just made me laugh as well. Ben’s my favourite so I’m annoyed he didn’t get that time.

Also, I do kind of ship Ben and Jennifer. I’m not that familiar with MCR lore, but they remind me of the demolition lovers. When I think about them, I think about the ending of I Never Told You What I Do for a Living, “And never again, and never again, they gave us to shots to the back of the head and we’re all dead now.”

Umbrella Ben’s death hit me so hard! I was expecting this really emotional moment, but the lack of emotions in it really made it.

One: Ben was sent on this mission despite not wanting to go.

Two: They were made to blow up something with a living being inside. Ben didn’t want to blow up someone.

Three: Reginald shot Jennifer and his own son with no remorse what so ever. In front of his siblings!

Four: Ben and Jennifer’s body being the title card felt so brutal!

Five: Reginald wiped their minds so they wouldn’t remember what even happened to their own brother.

Six: He put the blame on his siblings! And gave that utterly shit eulogy! Somehow, that funeral scene found a way to become even more shitty, which is quite impressive!

Honestly, I think this was the best way to do it. There are so many questions around it too. Was Pogo aware of what happened? Was Ben? I get the idea that Umbrella Ben remembers being shot, but he probably wouldn’t know who killed him. Ben wouldn’t know that his siblings didn’t know?

I love Abigail and Reginald! It took me by surprise that Abigail was responsible for this and that she wanted the opposite to what Reggie wanted. Reggie had done all this to bring her back and she wanted to end it all. In a way, Reginald is quite similar to the children with his motivations and it really shines through this season. Colm Feore plays him so well! He’s funny and detestable at the same time.

I also really enjoy the subway system! I think it was a really cool way to show them travelling through timelines.

This might be controversial, but I enjoyed the Five and Lila situation. I’ve seen quite a lot of hate for it. But it made an interesting dynamic when they got back. And it also makes sense for the characters. They had been stuck jumping through timelines for 7 years.

I love that there are quite a lot of comic references in here. A small one is that I recognised who Jennifer was before her name was revealed because her name badge was the same design as the comics. Pretty proud of myself for that one!

But mostly that Klaus got to have his Hotel Oblivion story arc (it is Hotel Oblivion, right).

I have calmed down a little bit after writing this. It really feels like the end, you know? There’s no easy way to just bring the characters back in my mind and I don’t like that. I feel like after every season, I just feel smaller and smaller because of how many timelines they introduce. And this one is the same. It does a much better job at making me feel small. I still feel like there are many mysteries, which would be fun to delve into fanfiction for!

So, yeah. Long ramble about season 4. I enjoyed this season so much. And this show has meant a lot to me over the years. I can’t believe it’s over.

[skarts-0206]

MULTIVERSAL MAY - Day 24 - FLOWERFELL FRISK (Late)

Broooo- I forgot to post the drawing of day 24 yesterday, I slept very late and forgot about it, so... Day 25 drawing would be posted in the usual hour

Day 24 drawing is FlowerFell Frisk snd I don't gonna lie, I was lazy again, but anyways little cute Frisk with flowers in his face I love this fella so much

And... Well, so much text alert because I gonna talk about my experience and thoughts about the AU like I usually do with this drawings

I at first had mixed feelings about this AU, back in the day when this AU was popular I hate the AU because I think the AU was only a Frans AU and I fucking hated Frans so i hated this AU for a long time

But one day a Video appeared on my YouTube about FlowerFell and at first I ignored that because I hated and I still hating so much Frans for being, well, a pedophile shipp, but It keep appearing and one day I decided to watch it because curiosity, and, MY BOY

Everything make sense, and I felt very sad and VERY upset about the AU's creator situation and all the drama the fandom made for this fucking shitty shipp, how the fandom "loved" the AU so much that imposed his own fantasy and harassment the AU's Creator and destroyed the message that the creator wanted to give in first place:

KINDNESS

Kindness was the last thing this creator have from this "fanbase" of Frans shippers, and I know the time pass, and we should forgive the bad people and keep going, and the owner of FlowerFell isn't in the community anymore and that is what upset me the most, I don't want to forgive and keep going because this people don't deserve that, if we just "forgive and keep going" they will just do this shit to other AUs creators, because they would feel like they can do this things without a consequence.

So this is why I told you this, because I don't think this would be like a thing that we should be forgotten and forgive, because this story would be repeated again if we don't know it and learn about it, and work in make this community a better place for everyone. And yeah I know that today the community isn't the half of toxic that it was back in the 2016-2018, but this is not a message to attack people, this is a call for reflection about the bad things that happen before and we need to prevent that happen again.

Anyways that was a lot of text, sorry if you find it annoying! Remember this situation when I was drawing and making this post makes me have a lot of things to say!

If you want to know more and better about FlowerFell drama you can see this video on YouTube that talks about it Link Here

FlowerFell don't belong to me

[imsadstuff]

Loving You Is Red - A Jeon Jungkook Fic, voice memo's that were never sent

Synopsis: Jeon Jungkook's name was unheard on the Formula 1 paddock till he got a chance to drive a Mercedes car as a reserve driver. His 2020 starts looking brighter as he signs with Ferrari and meets you, his team mates little sister. So many cliched tropes, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, dating brother's best friend, and most importantly Jeon Jungkook looks smoking hot in a Ferrari! Genre: Angst, lots of it, happy ending Word Count: 3.5kAuthor's Note: So, this is a little extra instalment based on something my boyfriend did. He told me about the voice notes he left for me during our break up. he wanted to call and tell me a million things, but instead he'd leave a voice memo in his phone, pretending like they got to me. made me sob like a baby. so, this is a version of that for loving you is red, different voice notes Jungkook records for OC over the five years they're apart... I highly recommend you read the fic to have a better understanding of this. You can find the fic here

please don't be a ghost reader, likes, comments, reblogs, show your appreciation (given you like it 🫣)

Day after Abu Dhabi Race 2020

Jungkook was hungover and tired, the night had been kind of a blur after he won the race. He still couldn’t believe he was the 2020 F1 world champion, he still couldn’t believe you weren’t in the bed beside him, he still couldn’t believe he let you go.

Jungkook was drinking to feel numb, but the morning came and the emotions were starting to eat him up. His hand hovers over your number, Jungkook wants to apologise and wants you back, but he fights the urge as he locks his phone and throws it on the bed as he walks into the washroom.

Walking back with his towel low on his hips, he picks up his phone again, opening the voice recorder app instead. He needs to let out all the intense emotions he’s feeling.

“Hey, just got done crying in the shower. I feel so overwhelmed and anxious, so much is happening all at once. I can’t believe yesterday really happened” he sighs as the app continues recording as he sits down on the bed.

“I’m supposed to go out and celebrate my amazing season but I feel sick just thinking about yesterday. I feel so guilty, I don’t deserve this win” tears are staining his cheeks again, he takes a few deep breaths to compose himself.

“We weren’t supposed to end this way ___…” your name feels heavy in Jungkook’s heart as he presses stop on the recording. Flopping back in bed, he allows himself to cry a little more, processing everything is just too much right now. 

1st January 2021

“It’s been a month and a half since I last saw you, feels like forever” Jungkook struggles to stand still as he records another voice memo. Jungkook’s friends invited him out, hoping to distract him and celebrate the new years, but you were still on his mind.

“The new year started fifteen minutes ago, so my resolution for this year is to get over you, I’m going to get a tattoo to symbolise that too” he promises as he gulps down the whiskey, taking a good look at himself in the mirror. All he sees is a shitty, depressed version of himself and he doesn’t like it one bit.

“I have to start getting over you, I can’t keep feeling broken like this” his voice cracks as he struggles to keep the tears away, he’s been crying a lot more than usual lately.

“I hate myself some more just imagining you being miserable like this. I hope you’ve realised that you’re better off without me, that you deserve someone who prioritises you” he whispers the last part as he lets the tears win once again.

“Happy new year ___, I know this year can’t top the magic that was 2020, but I’ll try. I have to unless all this pain was for nothing” he chuckles dryly as he stops recording. It takes him a few minutes to compose himself, but he does, he’s getting shockingly good at pretending like he’s fine.

Race 2 2021

Jungkook’s frustrated as he shuts the door to his hotel room, it’s the second race of the season and the car is absolutely not supporting him. He can feel the anger simmer inside him as he struggles to fall asleep, he’s been struggling with this for a while now.

“I wish you were here right now. Bad day’s didn’t feel as bad with you” he says as he stares at the ceiling as his phone records beside him.

“You’d probably help me realise that the issues are out of my control, that I need to be a little patient. You’d run your fingers through my hair, in an attempt to calm me down” his hand rakes through his hair as the memory of you doing the same flashes in his mind.

“But most importantly, you’d put on the office because that’s your cure for everything” an actual giggle escapes his lips as he turns off the recording and opens the netflix app.

That night, he falls asleep as Michael Scott does something childish. 

Race 7 2021

“Phillip was on call with you while we were out for a photo shoot and I heard your voice for the first time in months” Jungkook sighs as he takes a seat on the kitchen counter, something you’d usually do.

“I was starting to feel better and then I heard your voice” he says as he eats straight from the pan.

“You were talking about the weather in Oxford, adjusting in your new apartment, your voice sounded the same. Soft as always” he stares into his empty, dark apartment as he wonders what your new apartment looks like.

“And all I’ve been thinking since then is how quickly one can go from knowing each intimate detail of someone’s life to being an absolute stranger to them. How life keeps moving on, even when your heart can’t” he’s starting to lose his appetite the more he thinks about it.

“But I’m glad you’re moving on, You deserve to” Jungkook chuckles as he says that, he means that, he truly does.

“In other news, my year has been an absolute shit show so far, Seven races in and no wins for me yet. Maybe I am just a one hit wonder like the press has been calling me” Jungkook doesn’t find any of this funny, it’s eating him up and the problems just keep piling on.

“I need to stop talking into the recording app and go out and talk to actual people” he thinks out loud as he jumps off the counter, packing away the leftovers.

Summer Break 2021

It’s early in the morning as Jungkook walks closer to the water, the Ibiza wind hitting him in the face and waking him up. He’s been vacationing for all of last week, he has been laughing, hanging out with friends, having a good time, he’s truly been feeling a lot better.

Laying on the beach, he soaks in the morning sunlight, taking a few deep breaths before he starts talking.

“Today would've been our one year anniversary” he sighs as he flops back into the sand, just wanting to lay down for a while. There’s silence for a while as the sentence feels heavy in his heart, just the waves crashing and his heart thumping.

“We wouldn’t be in Ibiza, we’d be closer to the mountains, somewhere cold and cozy” there’s a faint smile on his face as he imagines an alternate universe, where the two of you are still together.

“You would have given me some amazing, handmade gift, like a cute photo book that journals our first year together. I would’ve gotten you some jewellery, probably that bracelet you were eying in Brazil” he remembers the exact bracelet he’s talking about, it’s kind of pathetic that he does.

“But in this shitty version of the universe, you’re probably enjoying your time at university and I get to go to some other club tonight and make small talk with a woman I’m not even remotely interested in”  Jungkook is bitter and angry thinking about what could have been.

“This was for the best, right?” he asks himself as he picks up his phone, saving this voice note with today’s date.

Race 17 2021

“Phillip took me out to dinner because he’s worried about me, he thinks the car issues and lack of winning is starting to get to me” he sighs as he pours himself another drink.

“It is starting to get to me, I’m so scared and anxious about my future it keeps me up at night. Of course it’s already starting to get to me given the panic attack I had during the last strategy meeting” Jungkook looks back at the difficult few months, it’s truly been challenging.

“He told me about going through something similar last year, and to not let the disappointment and temporary failure swallow me” Jungkook sighs for what feels like the millionth time tonight as he downs his drink in one go.

“Phillip told me to talk to him or anyone about my fears, verbalising my fears to someone I trust might help me. Phillip said that he told you the same after your accident, how the fear of a dwindling future paralysed you” hearing your name at dinner was not something he expected, every few months he’d start to forget about you and one thing and the rush of memories come back to him.

“You’re the only one I can think of when it comes to talking about my fears,” Jungkook says as he slides down the sofa and sits on the floor.

“I wish I could call you ___” he shuts his eyes tight as your name rolls off his tongue. His phone keeps recording as he switches on the tv to dissociate for a while. 

Race 22 2021

“So, I didn’t win the championship. Wasn’t even in the top three but that’s the least of my concerns right now” there’s actual joy in Jungkook’s voice as he tussles around in his hotel bed, balancing his phone in his other hand.

“I just got to the episode when Jim interrupts Pam’s talking head to ask her out, and WOW!! The way the biggest smile appears on her face, and how her eyes light up, jesus fucking christ!” he squeals as he sits up in his bed, he might be a little too invested.

"Jim giving up on a promotion for love, peak of romance” Jungkook can’t help but smile, as he thinks back to the scene he’s seen multiple times now.

“After the crapfest of the year I’ve had, I wish I had the willpower to fight Ferrari last year. I can’t believe it’s been a year since we broke up” having spent all these important momentous dates with you, Jungkook can’t help but think back to them a year later.

“Sometimes I can’t believe just how easily you complied with me breaking us up, how you didn’t fight for us, at all” there’s bitterness in his heart about this, he knows it’s irrational but it’s there.

“Something you said sits heavy in my heart, ‘between the two of us, I’m the only one who’s had to give up on a dream without having a say in it’ and that’s just not true anymore” Jungkook remembers every word you said that evening exactly, he just can’t seem to forget them, or you.

“You may have given up on your dream of figure skating, but I gave up on my dream of a future with you”  

Phillip’s Birthday 2022

“I haven’t done this in a while,” Jungkook speaks into his phone as he watches the night sky from the balcony. It had been five months since he had recorded a voice memo instead of calling you, he was starting to forget you.

“I knew I was going to see you today, but, um, I still wasn’t prepared to see you” Jungkook left the party early, he’d had enough of you and your very charming, british boyfriend.

“Christian and you look like you stepped out a romcom, with the perfect met cute story” he laughs genuinely as he thinks back at your chatty boyfriend, so different from you.

“I’m kinda glad seeing how well you’re doing. University, perfect relationship, I really am glad” he repeats in attempts to comfort himself. Taking a good look in the mirror, he has the urge to tug off the sweater he hasn’t worn in ages. The sweater he wore just so you’d notice.

That night, he finally packs up all the things he associated with you, the sweaters, perfumes, diary, books you left around his apartment, you’ve moved on, so should he.

Amsterdam 2023

Jungkook rewatches Phillip’s instagram story for the tenth time today, and there’s a smile on his face everytime he does. It’s a video with a caption that reads, ‘Birthday girl returns to the rink’. A ten second clip of you skating on ice with the biggest smile on your face brings him an amount of joy he hasn’t felt in years.

As you twirl on ice, your hands come into focus and Jungkook notices the ring on your index finger. On the previous watches he might have been a little too distracted by the smile on your face to notice you wearing the birthday gift he gave you. He knows you don’t wear it all the time anymore,because it was missing on Phillip’s birthday less than a year ago.

“Happy 23rd ___” Jungkook talks into his phone as he takes in the prettiest sunset in Amsterdam.

“Today is the first time I’m recording a voice memo when I’m not feeling bitter and depressed” he chuckles out loud and shuts his eyes as the smile on his lips only grows.

“I spent your birthday exploring a vintage bookstore, I was celebrating you in spirit I guess” Jungkook was happy with how he spent his day, going through books for hours.

“I went out for lunch and just stumbled upon this place, it was a happy coincidence. I cancelled my plans for the day and spent it doing something you would love. And for the first time in a while, I thoroughly enjoyed doing something that wasn’t racing” all Jungkook had been doing the last year was work, work related activities and training, he had completely given up on his hobbies.

“You would love this place” Jungkook says wistfully as he looks at a bag full of books he just bought.

Race 2 2024

Jungkook looked at the discarded boxes in his new apartment, and he finally moved to a bigger and better place. The movers had unpacked and arranged everything for him, this place feels foreign and unfamiliar. Jungkook opens a few drawers and shelves before he finds the plates, the only set of plates he owns.

Jungkook presses the record button to record a voice memo, something he hasn’t done in the last six months.

“So, I moved to a bigger, better place. I can afford a ridiculously expensive apartment in Monaco because I’m a two time F1 world champion now!” he says with excitement as he eats the takeout food from the plates you bought him.

“But I still haven’t bought plates, the ones you bought are beautiful, with the blue specks of colours. My favourite colour, apparently” Jungkook says as he takes another bite of the mediocre chinese food.

“And the passcode to this place is still the same as my last one, mostly because I don’t want to remember a new set of numbers. Definitely not because I’m hoping for you to surprise me by breaking into my place” he laughs loudly as he thinks back to the time you let yourself in while he was live streaming, Jungkook really thought someone was breaking in and entering.

“I have a stupid logic for why I won last year's championship, other than the obvious skills and amazing car. I started wearing the chain you gave me, your good luck charm might be my good luck charm too” he smiles widely as his hands go up to touch the chain.

“If it really is a good luck charm, I’ll win this year too” Jungkook has high spirits for 2023, he has high spirits about his personal life too. He turns off the recording when a call notification from Ava pops on his phone.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2024

Jungkook is dazed and frustrated as he walks back to his hotel room instead of going back to the club, abandoning his girlfriend but he could care less right now. He hadn’t seen you in over two years, and a three minute conversation has left him feeling empty the same way it did four years ago.

Your voice is ringing in his head as he flops back in bed, how frustrated and bothered you were.

“I hate how broken you looked, how broken you sounded” he whispers another voice memo as he shuts his eyes.

“I didn’t just move on like we never happened, it still shocks me how just six months of us being together bothered me for two years. I DIDN’T MOVE ON FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS ___!” he shouts with frustration, wishing he had said this to you.

“I’VE MOVED ON” Jungkook shouts some more to convince himself.

There are some frustrated huffs until he stops recording, his mind is all over the place and your wide, tear filled eyes haunt him.

December 2024

“So, I broke up with Ava a week after I saw you,” Jungkook says, still sitting in his car. Something clicked after seeing you, he knew all this time that he didn’t really love Ava. You asking him if you did just made him realise that.

“I was using Ava as a distraction and I hate myself for it” he sighs, not really wanting to go back to his empty apartment.

“How can I not love Ava, she’s quite literally perfect for me but I can’t imagine a future with her, at all. Am I damaged? Not capable of loving someone again?” he wonders out loud, his frustration and disappointment growing as he thinks about the mess he is some more.

“Seeing you just reminded me of what loving someone felt like…I couldn’t even be completely honest and open with Ava” he whispers shamelessly.

“You told me about your very destructive tendencies in a relationship, how you cheated on Christian because you couldn’t bring yourself to break up with him, and it just made me realise I was doing the same to Ava” Jungkook talks to himself, he’s been doing a lot of this lately.

“I was hanging onto Ava because I desperately didn’t want to be by myself, I didn’t want to be alone. I hate being alone” he confesses and his eyes are getting a little misty as he thinks about his situation some more. 

That night Jungkook comes very close to actually calling you, he wants some warmth and comfort but he knows he doesn’t deserve any of that, especially from you.

Phillip and Maya’s wedding 2025

“I should have made some lame excuse about being busy or something, why do I do this to myself” Jungkook whines as he struggles with his tie, how does he not know how to tie a tie as a twenty five year old. He’s been pacing around in the hotel room, worried about ruining his chance of seeing you.

“I’m just going to apologise and shut this chapter, I need a fresh start and that can’t happen until I apologise to you and this is my only chance to because I need to be done with you” he frustratingly takes the tie off, wondering if he can rock the open button, casual look.

“I’m just worried that you’re not going to want to see me and then this whole evening is going to be awkward”  he says as he looks for a turtleneck, open shirt is just too casual.

“Is there a delusional idiot in me that thinks that tonight is going to lead to something more? Yes, but you could bring another charming date and shatter my unrealistic expectations” Jungkook is very frightened for a man who drives at 300 kmph every other weekend without any fear.

“I’m just going to ask for your help, this is nothing more than an ex asking another ex to help tie their tie” he chuckles dryly as he downs his drink, needing some liquid courage before he faces you. 

Summer Break 2025

“All I want to do is relax and eat tons of amazing food for the next week,” Jungkook says into his phone as he closes the door to his car.

“Then that’s what we’re going to do, but can you at least tell me where we’re going?” your voice booms on speaker and Jungkook smiles shyly, knowing the suspense is tormenting you. It has been a few weeks since Phillip’s wedding, and since the night he realised something, it’s always been you. It will always be you.

“Pack warm, that’s all I’m going to say right now” he giggles as you grumble on the other side.

“Kook, all my winter clothes are packed up, can you come over and help me get those boxes” you say and he laughs sarcastically.

“Is this just a ploy to get me to come over, if yes you have very bad game ___” he says and you’re the one laughing this time.

“You’re replaceable by a ladder Jeon, don’t get to cocky-” you’re interrupted by your apartment bell ringing.

“Too bad, I’m already here” he says as he’s still on call, you’re a little too elated as you swing the door open.

“Hey-” he’s shut up by your warm lips tugging on his as your arms come around him. Jungkook loses his balance for just a second before he holds you close and deepens the kiss. Jungkook doesn’t have to leave voice memos on his phone anymore, he doesn’t have to pretend to leave you messages. He’s glad he gets to call you, he’s glad he gets to hold you, he’s glad he’s given a second chance with you. 

Another Author's Note: Still working on an epilogue for this, comment under to be added to the taglist if you still aren't on it!!

Tag List: @blancflms @nadzzzblog @kookiewhtaee @jksoftiitii @oiseul @elisaaru @coralmusicblaze @tearyjjeonn @moonchild1 @jungkooksseuphoria @cookysstuff @ohyeahjk @bobakkoo @whoa-jo @kooromiwrld @littlelandalp @marvelover3000 (the last one didn't ask to be added to the taglist but i'm adding them anyway :))

[joeys-babe]

Someday We’ll Be Together

Chapter 6: Realizations

————————————————————————

(joe's pov)

yesterday, i came to a realization. the feelings i had for y/n back in college never truly went away. i didnt admit to y/n's mom that she was right that i still liked y/n, but in my head i knew she was right.

she's why i finally broke up with lexie. i knew she treated me like shit and still stayed with her, but y/n being there to comfort me just made me want to end things. i wanted my attention to just be on her after all the shit i did to her while we were living in different states.

that's why i'm so jealous of her and tee. i wanted to be in the spot he was in; i wanted to be taking her on dates, i wanted her to watch me at practice, and hang out with the other girls because she was with me.

now that i've excepted the fact that i still have feelings for her, i need to come up with a plan. this time im not gonna chicken out, im gonna confess to her what i've wanted to tell her for a very long time.

the first step in that direction is actually talking to her, because i haven't been doing that the past couple of days.

come over?

that's the first text i sent to y/n. i've been an unreasonable jerk to her the past couple days so i'd be surprised if she answered

why? you've been ignoring me and now you want to hang out?

fair enough.

i want to apologize. thought it'd be better in person.

i'll be over in ten.

thank god she's not mad enough to refuse to see me.

the next ten minutes seem to go on forever. i sat on my bed just staring at the ceiling and waiting for a knock on the door or a ring from the doorbell.

i picked up my phone to see that had been 11 minutes, and i lost hope until there was a knock on the door followed by the doorbell.

i practically sprinted down the stairs, through the living room, and up to the door.

i took a deep breath before i opened the door, she had a pissed off look on her face.

"hey" - joe

"hey" - you

"come in" - joe moved to the side and let you in

she sat down on the couch, i followed and sat a couple feet away from her.

it was silent for a few moments, i was trying to collect my thoughts and perfect my apology. when i was ready i cleared my throat, causing y/n to look at me.

"i'm really sorry y/n. i shouldn't have ignored you like that.." - joe

she scoffed at my apology, and that's when i realized this was going to be a lot harder than i thought.

"why'd you do that?" - you

"i- i was just kind of annoyed that you were going on a date with one of my teammates." - joe

"what's so wrong with me going on a date with your teammate? wouldn't you rather i like someone you know rather than someone you don't?" - you

"it's just that if it didn't work out between you too i don't want it to be awkward at practice and at games. it's my job, and i can't have stuff like that messing with it." - joe

"that's not a good excuse. i'm confused because you call me your best friend but you don't want me to be happy." - you

"i do want you to be happy-" - joe

"no you don't!" - you raised your voice

"don't yell at me." - joe

"i can do whatever the hell i want! including going on dates with your teammates!" - you

"i'm just trying to protect you y/n!" - joe

"says the guy that dated a girl that was using him for 6 months. you can't even protect yourself, let alone protect me!" - you

i stayed silent for a second, that was a really low blow.

"do what makes you happy, and if tee makes you happy then go date him. i dont care anymore!"

- joe stood up from the couch and started walking towards the stairs

"wait joe! im sorry i shouldn't have said that- that was uncalled for.." - you

i ignored her comment and kept walking up the stairs, so much for apologizing.

"joe don't walk away, im sorry.." - you

"y/n i asked you to come over here to apologize to you for being such a dick and instead you yelled at me and brought up my shitty ex that i'm trying to get over." - joe yelled from the top of the stage

"i know, and i'm sorry." - you

i didn't reply and walked into my room, loudly

slamming the door and flopping onto my bed.

(y/n's pov)

of course this happens.

after what tee told me last night, i couldn't sleep.

i tossed and turned, replaying his words in my head over and over again.

the fact that you still have feelings for joe.

after losing hours of sleep i came to a realization.

tee was right. i still liked joe, i don’t think i ever really stopped.

but of course now that the very rare occasion that joe and i are both single is happening.. we’re fighting.

it’s honestly my fault, instead of excepting joes apology i accused him of him not wanting me to be happy and shoved his toxic past relationship in his face. not the ideal way to drop hints to your life long best friend that you have feelings for him.

“sweetheart.. you okay?” - your mom knocked on your bedroom door

it was now a few hours since my incident with joe, and i was feeling increasingly guilty. this was probably the third time my mom had come up here to check on me, one of the times being to tell me dinner was done but i didn’t leave my bed.

“no mom, i’m not okay” - you sniffled

“can i come in?” - your mom

“yeah..” - you

when my mom walked in to see me sprawled out on my bed with my face covered up with a blanket she sighed and let out a “oh honey” before sitting on the edge of my bed.

“wanna talk about it?” - your mom

“not really. but i know i probably need to.” - you leaned up

“so how’d this all start?” - your mom

“joe wasn’t exactly happy about my date with tee. so much so that he had been ignoring my calls and texts, and ignoring tee at practice.” - you

god these kids are so clueless, your mom thought.

“mhm” - your mom

“he asked me to come over today so he could apologize.. but i messed up.” - you

“what happened?” - your mom

“he told me he was sorry but i just kept arguing with everything he said. i yelled at him, and accused him of not wanting me to be happy. then i did something super bitchy mom..” - you

“oh lord, what’d you do?” - your mom

“he said he just wanted to protect me.. and i said says the guy that dated a girl that was using him for 6 months. you can't even protect yourself, let alone protect me.” - you

“y/n!” - your mom

“i know, i can’t believe i talked to him like that.”

- you

“i see why you’re upset.. what’s he do after that?” - your mom

“he started walking upstairs, saying that i should go do what makes me happy and if tee made me happy to go date him because he didn’t care anymore. i told him i was sorry and that i shouldn’t have said that, but he just went to his room and slammed the door.” - you

“oh honey.. i’m sorry but you really shouldn’t have said that.” - your mom

“i know.” - you

“so are you going to go out with tee again?” - your mom

“no. he said we’d be better off as friends.” - you

“that stinks, i knew you liked him.” - your mom

“that’s not even the worst part though mom.”

- you

“what’s the worst part?” - your mom

“earlier that night tee had asked me if i ever had feelings for joe, i told him only in college. well after tee told me that we’d be better off as friends he said there was something i wasn’t realizing, and when i asked him what that was he said i still had feelings for joe.” - you

“do you?” - your mom

“yeah.. i think i do.” - you sniffled and wiped your eyes

“y/n…” - your mom pulled you into a hug

“i realized it last night at like 3 am. it’s always just been joe. all along it’s just been him, ever since damn high school. i’ve been on so many dates, had boyfriends, failed talking stages. there have been some really nice great guys, but i just end up comparing them to joe. no guy compares to him, mom. he’s so sweet, genuine, protective, down to earth, one of the most hardworking people ever, he’s always been there for me, and i mean he’s the most handsome boy i’ve ever laid eyes on.” - you

“are you saying what i think you’re saying?”

- your mom smiled

“yeah.. i’m in love with joe.” - you grinned

“oh thank god! i was starting to think you were actually blind. i’ve known this since you guys were in middle school, i always knew you’d fall in love with him.” - your mom

“how do i fix this? i’m telling him how i feel this time, i’m not gonna chicken out. can’t really do that in this mess.” - you

“we’ll figure that out tomorrow, you need to go to bed and sleep. it’s been a long day for you.” - your mom stood up and walked up to the door, turning the light off and walking out of the room

it felt really good to finally get that off my chest and tell someone.

im in love with joe.

_________________________________

authors note: the motivation i have to write rn is insane.

hope you enjoyed ❤️

[scyphosunny]

vargastober day 1 !! time to make pretty pieces !!!

HUGE RANT INCOMING !!!! LET'S GET TO IT

okay so it's currently almost 5AM and i set up an alarm in four hours but hey let's just write an entry right now :DDDD ( at this rate i will die soon

i remember that when i saw this prompt in the list , my brain immediately said " 20 / 21 " . YOU KNOW ME , I JUST LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH . and once i had all of the prompts , i put all of them in one of those websites to randomize the order of something ??????? yeah . and " memory " was the first one to appear . ( smiles mischievously

okay . . . of course i had to get something to do on the very first day . i'm going out with my famiily today , and i won't be back until tomorrow . . . great timing isn't it

so idk like three hours ago i had to SIT DOWN and work on this . i was extra stressed because i chose to work on some edgar / jake first , for some reason .

then my sister got home and YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS , IT'S CODE LYOKO TIME !!!!! it was like 10PM and i didn't want to get myself to work on it . i really didn't feel like drawing yesterday . but i still did , because usually that means i can just push myself a little bit and if i get something that i like at least a bit , i'll probably just work with it and enjoy it !

for this whole thing , i had an extremely specific reference saved SOMEWHERE on my phone . that thing when you see something neat , and you're like " hey i want to draw that " then , take a screenshot and forget about it forever . I HAD THIS ONE REALLY FRESH ON MY BRAIN THOUGH !! and even if there's plenty of things i could do for this one ( fuck , i even have a whole pinterest board for them !! and for the rest of the characters , really ) i really REALLY wanted to get this one done taking that picture as a reference .

it was a picture of a little girl kneeling down to get some flowers . . . and the whole thing just screamed childhood for me . i could probably just do the whole thing without a reference but i wanted to see the background and overall the slight blurriness to it . that would be harder to recreate without a reference . but i just had this picture floating somewhere on my phone's photos . i didn't even remember the year i took the screenshot ! and i didn't want to check through 13k pics on my phone to find it . i used to clean my gallery a lot , but since i got a phone with a fair amount of storage ( unlike last one ) i stopped doing it so much because it isn't really necessary anymore lolz . so yeah . . . i didn't want to look for it . last time i checked my phone's photos from last year i got depressed because i fully believe i had everything and lost it all . but hey that's not the point-

at the end , i did find the picture ! didn't take too long , too . . .

and here it is ! a tiktok screenshot of an age regression post . really fitting . i wanted it to have this kind of , hazy dreamy end to it . a memory . ( laughing

GOT TO WORK . I HAD TO . THERE WOULD BE NO TIME THE NEXT DAY !!!!!!!!!

first i made this incredibly poor sketch to see how bad it'd look because HONESTLY i didn't think i'd get it right first try . AND I HAD NO TIME TO TRY AGAIN

i've been working with backgrounds for a while , and one thing is certain . i SUCK at them i've already had two pretty pieces ruined by shitty / unfinished backgrounds . last one i made ( the fireflies one ) was at least a bit better . and well , IT WAS FINISHED .

the main problem i had with backgrounds is that , my art is pretty line heavy . and the way most people do backgrounds is just like , scribbling things around with big brushes and stuff . first time i tried . idk it just looked odd ! the characters were so sharp looking and the background looked blurry , almost . i don't even have a picture to show because the file of the piece i'm talking about got CORRUPTED at some point , so . . .

there's this guy on instagram that makes tutorials and just MAKES IT LOOK SO EASY IN WAYS I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND . i did notice something , though . . . this person started with the background first , then drew the character . made sense . i mean yes , that would make the character actually fit in the piece . . . . . . it's funny because yeah common sense OF COURSE you start with the background but MY BRAIN REFUSED TO ACCEPT IT FOR SOME REASON i don't want to draw boring backgrounds I WANT TO MAKE PRETTY CHARACTERS WITH PRETTY HAIR AND PRETTY CLOTHES

( by the way , this is the guy and this is the tutorial i followed ! check his art everything's so cool

i COULDN'T ALLOW MYSELF TO FAIL THIS TIME so i tried it this way . didn't take a lot of screenshots of the progress because i was like JUST FOCUSING ON GETTING THE PIECE DONE but hey i had some screenshots i sent to brusk

started with the sky . . . then added clouds , some mountains . . . brusk told me she liked it ! that it had undertale vibes lolz

then adding bushes . . . some trees . . . the place scri would be standing on . . . i watched the tutorial , got similar colors but still took the reference pic as well , a reference lolz

if there's something i hate , is detailing grass . really really hate it I CAN NEVER MAKE IT LOOK RIGHT . seeing just a nice , open field like this one made me think of another drawing idea i have for them

i have at least three pieces like this on my pinterest ideas board . i was like " what if i do something like this instead " but NNNOOO !!!! I HAD A REFERENCE TO FOLLOW ! and quickly got back to the original idea . hmm . . . i still want to draw a piece like that , though . . .

then , i just detailed the grass a bit more . . . added pretty yellow flowers .

i liked how it looked so far ! which was surprising . i usually never like my backgrounds .

then , TIME FOR THE FFFFFFUN PART !! SKETCHING THE CHARACTER !!!

this was the initial sketch . i keep saying " YYEAHH I DON'T DRAW LINE !! MY SKETCH IS MY LINE !! I'M COOL AND SUPERIOR " but nah this piece and most of them have at least the smallest sketches . i lied to you guys .

honestly . . . i didn't really liked how it looked . bleh .

still , chose a nice , pencil-like brush to work on the line . the background doesn't look really sharp , and i wanted to avoid the problem i talked about before ! characters looking solid and background looking blurry . i used this brush before for a little thing before and i thought it'd be harder to use . but everything okay .

this is what the line looked like at first ! love detailing lines and stuff but i didn't really give myself enough time to detail this one as much . half of the details would be lost , at the end . . .

flat colors ! and a pic of william looking like he's constipated on top lolz . that frame is so funny . i know he's suffering and getting his memory back BUT IDC . I KEEP WATCHING CL ANALYSIS VIDEOS . I CAN'T HELP IT , THEY'RE SO COOL TO WATCH

i had to make my colors a bit less saturated for them to fit the piece . you can't really notice at the end , since the filters i added made it look normal lolz

little break to talk about mmmusic !!! okay so , you know . i really like code lyoko . they have this fake band called " the subdigitals " and one of their tracks was used on the credits of the show . nice song . well , once i read in reddit that they had actual songs ! so , i searched in youtube and THEY DO HAVE MORE SONGS ! a fair amount of them , too . . . so i've been listening to them for days now . THEY'RE REALLY GOOD I CAN'T HELP IT

i really like how distorted XANA's eye looks here lol

( also this is just an excuse to show my old youtube . i love add-ons

BACK TO DRAWING . after flat colors , shading was next ! and oh i've seen people shade with purple since i was a kid . but i was like " that doesn't make sense . I'M DIFFERENT AND I'LL DO IT ANOTHER WAY " so i did , but IT JUST DIDN'T LOOK RIGHT . so i had to . ( sigh ) . shade with purple . ( and it looks great !

TO BE FAIR i do add a bit of a darker blue when shading but this time i just used it as it is .

oh also i did have to go back and correct the colors a bit for it to fit better . this time , i didn't color his hair like i usually do ! i wanted something less scribbly , more solid . . . i think it looks pretty . his hair is shining !

SCRI DIDN'T HAVE FEET AT FIRST i didn't draw them because i mean you can't really see them on the reference picture . but here it just looks like he's SINKING INTO THE FFLOOR OR SOMETHINg so i went back and added them . . .

coloring the line was really important on this one ! at the end , scri did look sharper than the background AGAIN so i tried and colored the line in a way that it wasn't that noticeable . i like it . should do it more often .

even after colring the line he still didn't so i had to save the background and a png of scri's character , set them on a different canvas and then blur scriabin just a little . I REFUSE TO MERGE MY LAYERS . YOU CAN'T MAKE ME

once the colors were set and done , i went to add a bunch of filters ! only to notice that !! i forgot the freckles !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! way to go , sunny !

( most of the pics i added here do have freckles on them because i took them after finishing the piece but . yeah

so i had to GO BACK get everything set and add the filters again . AND , AFTER 5 HOURS OF WORK , WE HAVE THIS PIECE !!!! i forgot the freckles because i don't add them as part of the line anymore . they were harder to color like this . . . so i just paint them on his face when i'm rendering . ah well .

i was strugggggling to find a way to crop it , and now half of the background it's gone . gggreat . i don't think i achieved that hazy feeling , if i'm honest . . . but i still like it a lot . so i'm pretty happy with the result .

( also , i should sign these . it's been a while since i signed any of these ! i just don't know where to add the watermark !

this is the pic with and without the filter !

then , i go to bed , get comfortable and warm . only to realize . . .

I FORGOT . THE YARN . ON SCRIABIN'S HAIR .

GOD DAMMIT

i tried to add it on ibis paint because i DIDN'T WANT TO COME BACK TO THE FILE , ADD IT , CROP IT , PUT THE 999999999999999 FILTERS I ADDED AND GET IT ON THE POST . let's just say it's on the bit of hair we can't see on the picture .

i fforgot it because !!!!!!!!! i ddddon't know !!!!! HOW CAN I FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT PART WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU

oh , and also . this is how my canvases usually look . i make huuuge files just so i can have lots of spacte to add a bunch of references in the canvas and then crop everything out when i'm done using them .

like this piece i made for the askblog ! hahahahah

i don't really know if there's anything else to add . just that i'm glad i'm doing this , i'm glad i got this one done on time AND I'M EXCITED TO WORK ON THE REST OF THESE

happy october , expect more pieces soon ! :D

( also , as an extra ! here's the piece my 10y.o sister made for today ! lolol

( bbbbefore you come at me and be like " why did you show vargas to a ten year old WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU " i kind of . didn't ? and did at the same time ! she saw me drawng them a year ago , got interested and i explained their dynamic to her . now she knows them ! of course , she doesn't know the DEEP PART OF IT lol

[burninlovebutler]

31 - Mr. Percocet // Forever Winter Series

pairing: austin butler x fem!oc(s) // word count: 3k

summary: austin's addiction becomes too much for aspen to handle on her own. when austin disappears, aspen realizes she needs help from someone who knows him better than even himself.

warnings/notes: drug use, addiction, shitty/angry austin, auditory hallucinations, 18+

see masterlist for chapter log + all other fics💫 | ao3

vibes -> fw playlist❄️

I barely recognize you when you wake up in the morning Must be someone else's eyes that I look into every night

You're only kind when you're all fucked up You're only mine till your high is gone

But I wish you'd still love me when your drugs wear off in the morning

-ASPEN-

Nox finally left and we were stocked up on all of our party favors. I didn’t expect for Austin to put me on the spot like that, so I just chose the ones we’d been taking. I trailed a fingertip along the granite countertop then tapping it a couple times, “So… what’s this ‘deal’ you and Nox have going?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“It’s none of your business.” Austin replied bluntly, filtering through the stash. I knitted my brows at his tone, then observing his stiff body language – sharp, broad shoulders and angular, clenched jawline. In the short amount of time I had known him, I’d never seen or heard him like that. His voice was usually soft, gentle.

“Okay…” I trailed off, “You feeling alright?”

His jaw somehow clenched even tighter than it was before, and his brows angled downward not even looking at me. “Yeah, I’m fucking fine.” He spat back and cracked open one of the new bottles of Percocets, pouring some into his hand and knocking them back with a swig of his water bottle.

I pressed my lips together into a straight line, “Got it.” I nodded, nervous to press any further. Of course, I’d had men talk to me like that many times before, but it wasn’t something I ever expected from him. Nox must’ve really gotten under his skin.

We went about our day as we had for the past couple weeks, getting high. The only difference was that he barely talked to me, he rarely even looked at me.

That went on for the next few weeks. I even went home a couple times from how unwanted I felt or how much we fought. Each time I was sure it would be the end of our little affair, but he’d always call me the next day and beg for me to come back. And I’d always return because well, he was fun, most of the time – when he was good, when we were high. He made me laugh harder than I thought possible and actually looked at me like a human. He didn’t look right through me like most people did, like most men did. He didn’t look at me like a sex object, he saw me for me. You really get to know someone when you’re on constant benders together and he never shied away from any of my demons, and I didn’t shy away from his.

We were good when we were good, under any other circumstances, in any other life, we’d be perfect for each other.

In another timeline, this would be love.

Then he’d flip like a dime, and I could barely recognize him. Especially in the mornings, god the mornings were the worst – before he got any substance in his body, when he was freshly sober. Or when we ran through our stashes.

Like yesterday when we ran out everything –

A pillow flew past my calf, but I dodged it with a swift hop over. He raked fingers through his overgrown dirty blonde hair, “I know you took them Aspen just fucking tell me.” He growled.

I shook my head, pulling my arms into myself while I watched him stalk towards me, “I didn’t Austin, you know I didn’t. I don’t even like them!” My voice coming out weaker than I would’ve liked.

“So, you’re saying I was the one who finished this whole bottle in 5 days?” Holding up the empty bottle with his brows slanted down emphasizing just how sharp and hollow his features had become.

“Fuck, no – yes, I am. It was you Austin! I didn’t touch them!” I pleaded, hating the way my voice wavered. I didn’t dare correct him on that it had only been 3 days since our last re-up.

His features softened the closer he got to me, but his eyes stayed just as terrifying, “C’mon baby, it’s okay if you took them. Just tell me.” His fingers trailed down the underside of my arms so gently, taking my hands into his. “Okay? It’s okay, I just need them ‘Pen, just tell me where you put them.” His voice so calm, like the eye of a hurricane. It was a serenity wrapped in rumbling rage, just one slip away from destruction.

A burning sensation pooled tears in my exhausted eyes, I swallowed the knot that formed in my throat. Sure, he was a little scary like this, but he never hurt me. It wasn’t the fear that that put tears in my eyes. It was the Austin I could sense below the surface, the one I caught glimpses of – sweet, compassionate, funny, thoughtful, intelligent Austin. And it was the inherent sadness that was laced between each low, the melancholy looming beneath every word. I’d never met someone who hid so much pain behind such a bright smile. I didn’t see it right away, but when I did, I couldn’t unsee it.

I took a deep breath before running my hands up his arms, softly squeezing his biceps and looking into his lackluster blues rimmed with dark purple under eye bags. “Aus it’s okay, I’ll call Nox, and he can bring some more okay?” I felt him tense under my fingertips, as if he was about to erupt again but slumped instead. He nodded defeatedly, “Okay.” Then made his way to his bedroom, falling into bed, pulling the thick duvet over his head to block out the sunlight.

The meetings with Nox became more and more frequent. I couldn’t put my finger on it but something was off like there was some key puzzle piece I was missing. It made me feel like I was 7 years old again, getting kicked out of an all-boys club. Only the secrets weren’t about the best playground hiding spots anymore. It was an itch I couldn’t scratch, a word I couldn’t remember. And the more I asked, the more I prodded the more access I was denied.

As I walked out of the bedroom, wrapped in an oversized towel and dripping wet hair, I could hear him talking to someone. Being my nosy self, I halted at the door to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Yeah, I know I need to work harder,” He spoke, “I’m really trying.” Then a pause, telling me that he was probably on the phone. “Yeah- Well- I-“ He kept getting interrupted by whoever was on the other side of the line. “Yes, I’m rehearsing the script every day.”

I couldn’t quite remember what job he was working on but it didn’t matter, whoever he was speaking with was being lied to. I was with him almost everyday and I’d never seen that man pick up anything but substances, nonetheless a script.

“Yeah I know, I know.” I could practically hear his eyes rolling, “I got it.” His responses now curt and filled with exhaustion, “Love you too Dad. Say hi to Mom for me. Okay, bye.”

A couple beats after he ended the call, I stepped from the doorway. “Who were ya talking to?”

“My dad, not that that’s any of your concern.” He answered annoyed, clearly in one of his moods.

I took a moment before speaking again, wondering if I should even say anything. Then a vague memory popped into my head, “Didn’t you tell me that-“ I stopped myself before continuing, nervous of how he’d react.

“Tell you what?” His words were sharp and quick, sounding on edge. Much different from his voice on the phone just a bit earlier.

“Nothing, nothing.” I hastily backtracked, I must’ve been too high when he talked to me about his dad. Maybe I was mistaking it for someone else. “I’m gonna get changed.”

He didn’t even acknowledge my statement, his focus on making coffee in the kitchen. I wondered what exactly I was doing there,

Once in fresh PJ’s, I plopped myself onto the edge of the bed Austin normally slept on, the right side. When I went to grab my hairbrush from the nightstand, I spotted something that sent a chill through my bones – his phone. 

I replayed the events of the last 15 minutes, between his phone call, our conversation, and me changing in the room, there was no point in which he would’ve been able to come in and drop his phone off. I had been in there the whole time.

My next natural thought path was to mentally check how high I was, maybe it was just me not remembering things or misunderstanding them. But I had surprisingly not taken or smoked anything all day since we slept in so late. I was sober. Completely and utterly sober.

I picked up the oversized iPhone, held it in my hands, then set it down. Took it back, tapping to wake the glass screen, then placed it down again. I picked it up once more, flipping it around in my hands contemplating going through it like some jealous girlfriend.

On one hand, his privacy was important. But, on the other hand, I wasn’t a jealous girlfriend I was a concerned not-girlfriend. I didn’t know what the fuck was going on. So, I decided to go against my instincts and unlock his phone – the code being predictable, what I had learned was Elsie’s birthday.

Like a good – faux – jealous girlfriend, I went directly to his texts, expecting to maybe find some texts to Elsie or his parents. But my brows curved at the wall of multiple conversations with unsaved numbers. When I heard some noise from past the bedroom door, I stilled quietly locking the phone and setting it down cautiously.

He never walked into the room and I stole the phone again and unlocked it, clicking on the most recent text thread to a random number.

“What?” I whispered as I scrolled through the one-sided gibberish-filled responses. Each message filled with sentences that made no sense or were flat out lies. Each reply to him read the same – ‘This number has been disconnected or is no longer in service.”

“What the fuck?” I exited the thread then clicked another a couple lines down, this one even worse. Some of the words made no sense or were straight up not words, not a coherent sentence in sight. It must’ve been when we were actually really high. “This makes no fucking sense.” My scrolls increased in speed the higher in the thread I got. The color of the bubbles changed from blue to green after various ‘you’ve got the wrong number’ and ‘leave me the fuck alone’ text messages.

Taking my bottom lip between my teeth, I contemplated my options.

Stay silent and observe him.

Directly ask him about it.

Or… well that seemed like the only two.

But if there was something actually wrong, we needed to address it immediately. So, option two it was.

I stood up and walked anxiously to the door, then back again, shaking the nerves from my hands. I took a deep breath before opening the door and slowly coming out. I was prepared to confront him, chest puffed out and everything, but he was gone.

I briefly took a pace around the seemingly empty apartment when at the end of my lap I found the front door wide open. With each oddity I found, it built up a prickling fear in my body. The buzzing dread ran through my bone marrow like coolant, chilling every molecule in my carcass. I didn’t know what I was scared of or why – I had no idea what exactly I was dealing with – but it terrified me nonetheless.

I peeked my head out the open door turning it side to side like I was about to cross a road. He was nowhere to be found and now I had no idea where he was or if his brain was just as scrambled as the messages in his phone.

“Okay.” I said to myself while exhaling and turning around to the kitchen. “Okay Aspen, it’s fine you can handle this.” Talking myself through my pacing over the linoleum floor. I wanted to be this not-girlfriend and handle it myself, but it wasn’t realistic. I’d only known Austin for a couple months, and most of it we were high, I knew virtually nothing real about him.

But I knew who did.

I unlocked his phone and went to his favorites list, knowing the person I needed would be there.

And she was.

She was the only one on the list.

I let out a deep exhale knowing this wasn’t going to be fun and clicked her name. It rang and rang until it hit voicemail. “Augh!” I groaned impatiently, the time seemed to be thinning through some impending hourglass. I called again, this time going directly to voicemail. Again, voicemail, again, voicemail, back to back. “Fuck!”

Then in some stroke of genius I had the idea of calling her number from my phone – and it worked.

“Hello?” Answered a cautious voice from the other end.

“Hi.” I replied nervously, knowing that I was probably the last person she wanted to hear from.

“Aspen?”

“Yeah, um, I-“

“Listen, I don’t need some jealousy spiel-“ She began, rightfully thinking I’d be some ‘you can’t talk to your girl best friend’ girlfriend.

“It’s not that.” I interrupted urgently. “It’s Austin.” I stated quietly, nervously.

There was a pause, “What happened.”

I exhaled a breath I didn’t know I was holding and her recognition was like someone lifted the plug in an overflowing bathtub. Salty water filled my eyes and a quiver took hold of my voice, “Something is wrong.” was all I could manage. “I think I need your help.”

Elsie took a breath, “What happened.” She repeated, sounding frustrated but mostly concerned.

“I-I don’t know – He just, he left and-and,” The tears now flowing and my voice noticeably cracking, “He was just acting strange, and I don’t know where he is Elsie.” I sobbed, “Please, I don’t know what to do.”

I heard a rustle on her end, it was 11 pm and she was probably in bed. “Okay, strange how? – I’m changing and I’ll be on my way.”

“Well, I got out of the shower and I overheard him talking to someone…” I trailed off, steadying my breathing.

“Okay, who Aspen? C’mon I’m gonna need you to get it together.” She snapped hurriedly. It was clear she was just as, if not more, rattled by the situation as I was.

“Well, I-I overheard him talking to his Dad but I could’ve sworn he told me-“

“Wait, wait his dad?” She interjected immediately, “Are you sure that’s what you heard? You heard him say Dad?” Her demeanor significantly more urgent than before.

“Yes-Yes, I heard him clear as day. He said, ‘I love you Dad, say hi to Mom for me’.” Trying to emphasize the validity of my concern.

“Fuck,” She sighed, the locking click of her door loud in the background. “Okay, um, meet me in the city, I think I know where he is.”

When I arrived to the location Elsie had dropped me, I stood in front of a random diner named Harry’s Diner. My arms were wrapped around my frail body freezing from the rain that was pouring down over me the entire way there. I stood under the awning looking for Elsie when I saw her through the diner window, already inside talking to a waitress. From her body language I could tell it wasn’t good news. She noticed me and made her way over, the door dinged a bell when she pushed it open.

“He’s not in there.” She sighed defeated, “The waitress said that he was, but he left.”  

“Fuck,” I let out, “Why would he come here? It’s just a random restaurant-”

“It’s not.” She cut me off sternly. “It doesn’t matter, that’s not important right now.” Waving off the details, “He just always ends up here.”

“Okay.” I shivered not wanting to push further. “Well, where the fuck else would he be?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed, bringing a hand to run through her wavy locks. The stress in the air between us was practically tangible.

Suddenly, I heard some rustling from behind us. “Do you hear that?” I whispered.

Elsie perked out her ear silently searching for the noise I was hearing, “Yeah I do.” Then the noise began to sound like whimpering, sobbing. “I think it’s coming from the alley.” Nudging her shoulder in the direction of it.

I nodded a silent agreement to quietly and cautiously walk over to check. In New York at midnight, an odd noise could be anything. Once we peeked past the wall, it was Austin, drenched in freezing rain, curled around himself pacing back and forth. Out of the corner of my eye I caught Elsie squeeze her eyes shut like she was preparing for the worst. It was evidently that she’d seen this before, he’d been here before. They’ve been here before.

We stepped towards him careful not to spook him off. “Austin.” Elsie whispered softly, catching his attention.

He looked up apprehensively, like a scared alley cat. Once he recognized her, he immediately went to her.

He went to her.

There was no hesitation, no second thought as he landed into her, sobbing into her shoulder.

She held him tight, rubbing his back quickly to warm him up. He was only in a plain white t-shirt and some sweatpants, exactly what he was wearing at home. He was shivering, teeth chattering, and his soaked clothes stuck to him like glue. His skin was so cold and pale, he was nearly purple and blue.

There was pain in both their bodies, I could feel it. Almost like they were feeling the same hurt together.

I knew from the beginning that there was something between them, but until now I didn’t realize just how special it was. I called it from the beginning. I knew it the moment I saw the way she looked at him, the way he looked at her. If I could see it this vividly, why couldn’t they?

I told Austin from the start that I’m just the lesson girl, the fun girl, the one you date before you settle down with the ‘bring-home-to-mom girl’, and I was right. I was looking right at her.

Sorry this update is so late 😅  i hope you enjoyed this one 👀 i know the past couple chapters have been a lot of build up, so i'm very excited to enter this new era of this series, big things to come 💗 Thank you to everyone who's stuck with me through these many chapters, I appreciate your patience for my love for writing slow burn & plot development LOL

Thank you for every like, reblog or comment, it means the world to me truly. I love hearing your thoughts and I'm glad you're liking my little story 💗

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