#i had hoped i'd have a pc by now but i can struggle on my phone for a little bit longer | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

autumnal-prince · 2 months ago

Text

My Time at Evershine

youtube

I guess they're reworking Project ME into a more PC/Console friendly version. (This does kind of make it feel like everyone who was given access to Project ME were just unpaid beta testers but...I won't dwell on that too much)

I played Project ME on and off (at least until it stopped working on my device) but I just couldn't fully get into it what with it being a mobile game and all (and unavailable to emulate on Nox). So I am looking forward this as the third My Time game.

I do still have...concerns...though. I'll just put them under a cut if you're interested but be warned: Long winded and probably poorly articulated rambling ahead. TL;DR: Not loving the art style and I'm a bit pessimistic about certain game mechanics.

The first thing is the direction of the art style. It's almost too far from the style of Portia and Sandrock. I know a lot of people complained about that with the previous games. If I had a dollar for every time I saw someone complain about the MC looking like a child or harping on the character proportions...I'd be pretty rich by now. That being said, the the cartoony style was part of the charm and uniqueness of the other games. My Time at Portia is distinct, you really can't mistake it for any other game (like how when you see Code Lyoko, you know it's Code Lyoko and not possibly another show). Even the slightly less cartoonish style of Sandrock still retains that charm. Project ME kept up the Sandrock style so I was hoping if they brought it to PC it wouldn't change much but clearly that isn't the case. With the more realistic style it's lost it's uniqueness. Several people have already pointed out that this new direction makes it look too much like other games (I see a lot of comparisons to Palia and Dreamlight Valley in the YouTube comments) and I can't help but see MiHoYo's signature anime-esque style myself. I'm not saying it looks bad. It looks amazing! It just doesn't look like My Time.

Another thing for me is that it's more of a city builder than a building/farming life sim. Those elements are still there obviously but...trying to build up the settlement takes a lot of time and planning (again, I played Project ME so I already have a feel for this feature) and you're left with little time for the core elements of the game. Hell, I struggled to keep up with commissions while working on the settlement and keeping up relationships and collecting materials AND exploring. I constantly felt like I wasn't making any actual progress. It became stressful and if there is one thing these type of games shouldn't be, it's stressful. Hopefully they'll balance it out better here than in ME.

Lastly, and I know this one is something a lot of people will disagree with me on, but I already have a fear of them focusing too much on multiplayer/co-op. I know there is a (very) vocal group of people who constantly demand multiplayer to be shoved into every. single. game. And when developers kowtow to that demand, singleplayer always suffers. Always. I'm not saying that it shouldn't be implemented for those who want it or if the developers themselves want it but...some of us just want to be left alone to enjoy the story. Especially in a game/genre that is, at it's core, supposed to be a singleplayer experience. Sometimes though, developers focus so much on pleasing multiplayer gamers that they completely neglect the singleplayer campaign. Hell, that almost seemed happen with Sandrock (thankfully, it didn't but it got precarious for a hot minute during early access). This is somewhat two-pronged, too. Usually, you can ignore multiplayer stuff in a game if it also has singleplayer but it's become more common to force the multiplayer/co-op feature onto players recently. Such as locking features of the game or putting up a roadblock in story progression unless you play with other people. I dropped Magic Awakened after only playing for a few weeks because of this. When you can't enjoy a singleplayer storymode without having to do co-op tasks or something it ceases to be singleplayer (and fun...for people like me). I know Pathea wanted to expand on the multiplayer feature for their next game, I just hope they don't expand so much that it destroys the main, singleplayer experience.

To reiterate, these are personal concerns. I know this comes across as whiny and I'm not trying to be but I guess I've just become pessimistic. That being said, I am genuinely looking forward to this game. I've supported Pathea for a long time and I don't plan on dropping that support unless they do something horribly unforgivable (which I honestly don't foresee).

#My Time at Evershine #Project ME #Pathea Games #My Time at Portia #My Time at Sandrock #ramblings #long winded commentary #don't mind me #I just feel better if I write all this down #not proofread #Youtube

9 notes · View notes

ageless-aislynn · 11 months ago

Text

Okay, I think I finally have actual proof now that I did NOT cause my computer issues. I found a forum where other people with the same make/model and two make/models right next to it all have had similar issues from day one with their PCs. Then Dell revoked all of the previous driver updates they'd been pushing and yesterday, here comes 3 marked critical: BIOS and the Nvidia and Intel graphics drivers, all brand spankin' new (literally released that week or that day in Intel's case) and with the purpose of "fixing bug checks and providing system stability." Bug checks being the official term for a Blue Screen of Death, that is. Normally I wouldn't update on day one of a new release but, well, my computer crashed this morning when I just turned it on and it was sitting idle after about 5 minutes of up-time so I figured that was my sign.

All 3 updates are now applied. If you pray, I'd appreciate it. If you have time to spare me some kind thoughts, to put some positive energy out there in the universe, just whatever, I appreciate it. I didn't realize how much I truly rely on my computer to deal with my anxiety, depression and panic attack issues until not only do I NOT have access to the things I use to try to get through them all, but the computer's switching off at random times has made all of them so much worse.

Yeah, Halo's just a game but it's truly helped me redirect if I'm struggling with anxiety or a panic attack that's looming. Getting really involved in Mass Effect: Andromeda's various romances, making GIFs of them, learning to craft weapons, that sort of thing, it's helped me focus on things other than worrying about RL stuff. I really could use all of those things back, you know? Plus, I was looking forward to so many of the new games I've added to my Steam library. Learning something new can also help redirect my brain when it's spiraling out of control.

And this isn't even to touch on doing creative things like making GIFs, vidding and writing. I'm still working on my "15 Minutes" ch7 by hand but it's so much slower than being able to type it. I was really hoping to have at least this chapter up before Halo s2 starts but I'm not sure if I can, if I'm just scratching away with pencil and paper, not even certain how I'm going to get those words on the Internet anyway.

I mean, just imagine how frustrating it would be if whatever device you use would just blink off with no rhyme or reason, no way to predict when whatever you're doing will just be gone. Sometimes it does it a couple times a day, sometimes 8 times an hour. You can't do 90% of what you usually do online anyway and the other 10% feels like you're walking through a minefield, just waiting to take one wrong step. And nothing works to fix it. Nothing. You spend hours researching, desperate to find The Thing That Will Work and it's just not out there. That's been the past few weeks with this computer.

Considering that my previous computer is ALSO in this make/model line, just back several years, makes me wonder if the issues it began to have out of the blue in October, 2023 are related. I've seen a LOT of mentions in that forum of people whose computer suddenly went bad in Oct, 23. That seems like an awfully big coincidence, doesn't it?

Anyway, just wanted to check in. Hope you're all doing well and here's hoping that I'm now on the road to getting to just... do things on the computer and the Internet again like I used to. I miss it so much and I really miss all of you. Love to you all. 💖

#ageless aislynn #computer problems #computer issues #good thoughts and prayers and well wishes appreciated #love you frens #miss you

10 notes · View notes

netripper · 10 months ago

Note

Hello! I love your photoshoots very much. I am wondering what are your PC specs? I would like to mod C2077 at some point in the future, and would love to achieve results like yours. Thank you in advance (^^)d

aw this is really sweet!! hell ya i'll tell u my specs top to bottom lemme bring em up

CPU: AMD Ryzen 7 2700 Eight-Core Processor GPU: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1660 RAM: 32 GBs (two 16 GB sticks) motherboard: TUF B450-PLUS GAMING, ver. Rev X.0x, by ASUSTeK COMPUTER INC.

honestly i'm at the point where i do really need to update my machine (and have been angsting about it for a hot minute) so it's great that my vp still holds up considering cyberpunk's specs! be warned, i've had all of this stuff since 2019, so it may just be struggling due to age -- but i do recommend looking for something a little more recent if ur in the market for PC parts. i have to play the actual game on low settings ESPECIALLY when driving, and i get a lot of stuttering nowadays.

anyway as for additional programs, i've finally capitulated to using ReShade, CyberLit, and OtisTools again; the vanilla photomode actually captures really well now, i think they might've done something to crank it up when you capture via spacebar, but if ur not worried about losing out on less chunky-looking modded hair (or if u can run the game super high to begin with) then i'd say yeah, reshade's pretty important. at least to me! i just can't with the vanilla DOF man it sucks so bad

idk what else to say so ya, i hope i could help!! def do ur research when shopping for new PC parts; i recommend GamersNexus because they've demonstrated integrity and reliability in their handling of the LTT debaucle, and they go pretty in-depth on all the things they review.

thanks for the ask!!

#vanta answers

5 notes · View notes

purefandomonium · 2 years ago

Text

Glitchy Red Headcanons for Connection

Thought I'd share some (mostly) spoiler-free headcanons for my Glitchy Red fic just for fun. With what I have posted so far these should all be pretty obvious, but there's a couple more things I want to hint at for the story. Some are just random tidbits that have no reason for existing other than just because.

In my mind, Red is something between a glitch, an AI, and a supernatural entity.

The longer a player interacts with the game, the stronger Red gets. He'd been left dormant for so long that when Leann found him, he hardly had any of his old abilities and was borderline an amnesiac. All he had at that point was his bitter hatred of players and the glitches. Her keeping the game on for so long has allowed him to become himself again.

The glitches he experienced broke him in every way imaginable. Hence the reason it takes him some time to snap into his real self.

Despite all his talk, he has no idea what he is or how he exists. He can't be bothered to care.

Theoretically he could be transferred into a PC or some other more powerful device, but due to the broken nature of his code and the fact he doesn't fully understand what proper programming is, it likely wouldn't end well for whatever he's put in. He's a stubborn bastard now so he'd be fine, but the computer would be bricked.

I feel like, just for shits and giggles, Red's "data" is this impossibly convoluted mess of code that is somehow much larger than it should be. He exists within the Pokémon Red cart, along with the entire game, and this mofo is like, 8GB of data by himself. Makes no sense. Something mind-bogglingly stupid like that.

There's more below the cut, and beware potential spoilers for stuff I haven't written.

Now for some fun ideas I have that I kind of want to do stuff with but I don't know if I'll include it in Connection or not.

Red is powerful enough to physically haunt a person. Only the person claiming ownership over the cartridge can see and hear him. Likewise, Red can only interact with them and no one else. He mostly uses this fact to stare intimidatingly from the corner of a dark room, a la sleep paralysis demon, or just watch them while they struggle to ignore his presence and go about their lives.

In the past he's gone far enough with this that he's tormented players to the point of people thinking they've gone insane. And they pretty much were by that point.

Red's other preferred ghost tactic is to swat things from their hands or wake them up in the middle of the night by prodding at them. Or screaming right in their face.

Unless the player passes the game along to some other poor sap, they'll be stuck with him indefinitely.

The game cannot be destroyed. It lets off major fuck-you energy to anyone who tries. Smash it to bits with a hammer? Lol. Set it on fire? Got any marshmallows? Throw it into a lake? Well, I'd almost say good job but did I forget to mention that the only other thing Red can interact with is his game? Whoops. Hope you don't mind him letting himself back in to give you an earful for throwing him away like that. And no, water can't damage it either.

This is of no deliberate choice from Red. He'd love to let the game be destroyed so he can stop existing in pure agony. The damn thing just won't die though, and subsequently, neither will he.

He doesn't really have anything against kids. Mind you, he doesn't like kids since he gained sapience, but he can tolerate them more than adults. At least children have the excuse of being naïve and clueless when they're breaking the game. Usually. He'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Adults who come back to witness the broken horror of the original game know full-well what they're doing and he can't stand it.

He won't do much to torment kids aside from his usual in-game antics. The adult players are the ones who get thrown out of bed at 3am or have their dreams haunted.

The developers were adults too so the hatred's also pretty obvious. He'd love to get his hands on them some day. He has a paranoid side that is whole-heartedly convinced they're out there looking for his cart, ready to erase him and be rid of the stain on their record.

It's been a while since someone last turned the game on. He seems to have a bit of reputation now.

Has zero concept of the internet but could probably figure it out.

He doesn't hate the new gens so much just because they replaced him. He loathes the fact that they are all genuinely better than he'll ever be. He and his game are broken, not good enough, and now that he has self-awareness he realizes he was never meant to be anything special. He was simply a stepping-stone, a learning curve meant to kickstart an idea. He was, isn't, and never will be anything more than that. His only legacy is how glitchy his game is.

He's very aware of the irony that the very thing that made him what he is, is the whole reason why he was deemed a failure by his creators. If you're smart, you won't bring it up.

I have more, but I think I should stop. I could talk about this little project of mine for hours. Or any project for that matter. If anyone would like to hear more of my deranged ramblings they're more than welcome to ask. 😅

#glitchy red #my writing #headcanons #long post #pokepasta #connection

28 notes · View notes

fryandleelasbigfling · 1 year ago

Text

impossible stream review (first reaction)

copy/pasting from my own reddit account lol

It's good. Not phenomenal, but it's good. Honestly, I'd even say it was very good.

The segue from Meanwhile was a tad underwhelming, but satisfied me well enough. I do wish there was a bit more of an emotional carryover (like how "Rebirth" has the crash-landing after the wormhole as a crucial plot point), or maybe more of an explanation for the timeskip, but it didn't need to be a big thing.

I think they rushed into the plot a bit too quickly. Fry feeling insecure about his time in the future makes sense, but he has done a lot, and it could've been funny (and work as a "recap" of sorts as well) to mention them and still have him brush them all off. I do like Leela trying her best to support him as well, I'm very glad they're still consistently together and she cares for him very deeply, but I would've liked to see a bit more struggle from her before trying so hard to support him. She's always been the one to shoot down his dumb ideas after all. However they clearly wanted to put a lot into this episode and had a lot to establish, so I understand if the pacing was hard to land.

I love the jokes. "The Scary Mirror" was the first one to crack me up. They clearly wanted to celebrate a lot of old beloved characters too. Calculon was on-point in this episode (and he can also play gay and robosexual now!), and I love the nonbinary robots / PC crowd joke. The whole TV satire was great and I would've loved to see even more of Bender and Leela struggling with their jobs (ironic that an episode making fun of fast-paced TV also has a pacing problem). Patric Verrone wrote this and being former head of the WGA makes a lot of these jokes at the network's expense make even more sense. The trial joke was funny for a fake-out though I'm not sure how needed it was, but seeing Morbo, Linda, Nixon and Hyperchicken again was worth it.

Then there's some small stuff, like Hermes being particularly funny in this episode, the fake commercial breaks (which I hope become a recurring thing!), and that perfect opening title callback. Then there's some stuff I'm less sure about. Amy bringing up Zapp was kind of weird given she doesn't have a great history with him either (BWABB) but I assume they just wanted to namedrop him in the first episode. You can hear the age in Fry's voice now but I'll probably get used to it, I've just been watching older episodes and he sounded older by CC anyway (because that's how time passing works).

Also a bit confused if the rest of the season is gonna be explicitly set in 3024 now? Skipping ahead a bit. What will that mean for the next episode since the tadpoles are meant to emerge 20 years after their birth, which was in 3003?

Also also, it seems John now has top billing, which was probably a compromise for not getting his pay raise. Hurray?

#futurama #futurama spoilers #hulurama #the impossible stream

11 notes · View notes

acacia-may · 1 year ago

Note

yo there acacia! I hope you're doing well these days and will have a pleasant weekend! I'd like to ask your spoiler-less opinion on omori because I've been planning to give the game a try for a while and is interested to read people's thoughts on it! 😁

Hi there, friend! Thank you so much for the well wishes. I hope you're doing fantastic! I was so excited when I saw your ask, oh my goodness--thank you so much! 🥰 (I also owe you a story & some other answered asks. I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to get back with you. 🙈 I'm looking forward to the day I have the energy & health to write as much as I'd like again. Thank you so much for being patient in the meantime 💕). For now, I would be thrilled to share my spoiler-free opinion of Omori with you. I have put it below the cut since it's really long (sorry in advance for all the rambling 😅).

(Warnings: This game does deal with some very heavy topics and thematic elements such as serious trauma, grief, depression, suicidal ideation/suicide, and other mental health issues, and therefore, may not be a good fit for everyone).

A few prefaces before I jump right in, I am not a big gamer so I won't pretend that I can adequately speak to the game mechanics or anything like that. My opinion is mainly based on the story and characters (ect.). Secondly as this is a game with multiple routes and endings, I feel I need to say that I got a good route and good ending when I played, and I have not played the other routes myself (though I did watch YouTube videos of all of the other endings), so my opinion is heavily biased by the route and ending I got on my first playthrough (which it is my understanding is the "true" route and ending). Third, I played the Nintendo Switch version of this game. My sister says there is extra content in the Switch version, but none of it was in the route I got in my playthrough so I can't really speak to that. I can speak to the fact that the Switch version has adorable backgrounds in full screen mode that I do find myself missing when I've been replaying the PC version I bought for myself, but as I understand it, most of the gameplay is the same. Finally, I feel I need to give a warning that this game does deal with some very heavy topics and thematic elements such as serious trauma, grief, depression, suicidal ideation/suicide, and other mental health issues, and therefore, may not be a good fit for everyone. The game begins with a thorough content warning, and as such, I would highly recommend being a good place mentally when playing this game as it can get very dark when it dives into some of these heavy themes.

Alright so my opinions... I absolutely loved this game! I honestly wasn't expecting to get as invested in it as I did. In the beginning, I was really playing it as favor to my sister who is a pretty big gamer and has been wanting me to play this game for a long time since (and this is a direct quote from her) it's "the greatest game of all time." Last year we made a deal with each other that I would play a video game with her if she would read the manga series Karneval (A/N: To my sister, if you're reading this, you still owe me! 😁). She initially wanted to play Omori but compromised to Danganronpa: Ultra Despair Girls since I was wary of some of the heavier themes and mental health topics. UDG also deals with heavy themes and mental health issues such a death, childhood trauma and abuse, but these are elements of subplots not a main theme or a struggle for the main/POV/player character in that game whereas these are much more integral elements in Omori as one of the main themes of the game (at least in the true/good route) is confronting and healing from trauma. After I played UDG and a couple more games (Your Turn To Die and Danganronpa V3 which were also pretty dark), I was looking for another game and thought I should finally give Omori a try. My sister had some of the official game art as her laptop background and screensaver, and the bright and cutesy art style really caught my eye. Since it really fit my aesthetic and personal taste in art, I was super intrigued by the game and wanted to try it out.

[This was her screensaver & one of the first pieces of the Omori art style I saw. This is official art from the game. Gif from the wiki]

I had also heard really good things about the soundtrack and being a hobbyist musician and a lifelong music lover and piano enthusiast, I was really intrigued by the music as well. After my sister (who isn't as much of a fan of the piano) finished the game, I found her trying to pick out one of the themes on the piano herself, and I had a little bit of fun playing with her sheet music but naturally I was thinking, "What is this game?!" I'll fully admit that after I finshed the game, I bought some sheet music and am practicing one of themes myself now so I totally get it. The soundtrack is absolutely gorgeous and at times incredibly haunting. It adds so much to the story, so I really wanted to give a proper shout out to it specifically.

Given the overall aesthetic of the game, I'll admit that I was anticipating a sweet little romp through colorful adventures filled with bouncy piano music and childlike wonder and imagination. There was plenty of that (don't get me wrong), but this game was so much more than what it appeared at first glance and dug deeply into some serious philosophical questions and heavy themes. In that way, it is almost deceptively cutesy and simple, but somehow that manages to fit together perfectly with the underlying, deeper narrative to create something incredibly poignant, moving, and so compelling that it had me not only practically begging my sister to play it for hours at a time but also blinking back tears by a certain point.

I didn't know I could care so much about a game that (on the surface at least) is just the story of a little boy and his childhood adventures with his friends. But that's the wonder of Omori. There's more to it than meets the eye. It has layers upon layers of masterful storytelling told in engaging and entertaining segments that are sometimes whimsical and wacky, sometimes silly, sometimes sweet, and sometimes heartbreaking. This game will make you laugh, and it'll make you cry. Sometimes it might even make you confused on how everything all fits together, but Omori manages to tie even the smallest things together in the most beautiful and satisfying way in the end. It is filled with incredibly complex but ultimately endearing characters who you just can't help but love and root for and who are each given their own distinct personalities, motivations, deep emotions, and compelling arcs. It's a story of deep friendship, of love, of loss, and of finding healing and hope after unbelievable sorrow and tragedy.

I'll be honest that there are moments in this game that are absolutely heart-wrenching, but (at least in the true/good route/ending) this isn't a story about hopelessness and despair. It's about finding healing after traumatic experiences and being able to move forward into a brighter future--the idea that the painful things in our pasts don't have to define us. There can be healing and can be hope after loss, trauma, tragedy, and suffering. No matter how terrible something is, it doesn't have to be the end for us. With hope and with the support of the people we care about most, we can find the strength and the resilience to keep living, and life itself is worth living, even after the darkest of times. Tragedy is not the end, and that's what Omori is all about.

I'd also give a shout out to all of the incredible characters and friendships that take center stage of this story. I absolutely love platonic friendships, and it is so rare that I've had the pleasure of getting to experience a story that makes them so integral, so deep, and so interesting. Usually platonic relationships have to take the backseat to romantic ones and are treated as somehow "less than" in fictional stories, but not in the world Omori. Friendship and family really got their time to shine here, and it was glorious. (A/N: As much I have been crying over some pairings recently, the story was really not about that. There was a (canon?) romantic relationship, but it was in a subplot and not treated as any "better" than any of the friendships and/or used to diminish those. In fact, something I loved about this story was that it outright addressed that yes, this character loved this other character romantically, but there were other characters who loved this character too, just in platonic sense. Those friendships were treated as a deep and beautiful love--it was just a different kind of love. Needless to say, Omori scored thousands of kudos from me for that! 💕)

I know I have rambled a lot here, but I think I will cut myself off before I accidentally spoil something (A/N: I really, really hope I haven't accidentally spoiled anything in my ramblings. If I have, I sincerely apologize). To wrap up, I will say that if you love strong, dynamic, three-dimensional characters who get to have compelling story arcs, deep and beautiful platonic friendships, and themes of finding hope and healing after tragedy and trauma, I could not possibly recommend Omori enough to you. It is probably the best game I've ever played and definitely ranks as one of the most compelling and poignant stories I have ever had the pleasure to experience.

Please play Omori. All it costs is your love, and I promise you, it is definitely worth it. 💖

#omori #omori game #omori meta analysis #omori game review #answered asks #the-black-bulls 🖤#thank you so much for the ask!

7 notes · View notes

drac-onion · 1 year ago

Text

Finished P5R

Bunch of words under the cut, honestly I'm just ranting. Figured I'd spare your timelines of a massive wall of text.

Real talk, though. I cried for like 2 hours. From 2/2 all the way to the end. I would cry for a little while, and then stop for a bit. Then I would get to a cutscene or something and the waterworks would start back up again.

Man, I just...6 years ago, I played the original Persona 5. I finished it on May 27th, 2017, a little over a month after it released. I'm kind of impressed as to how I was able to marathon the whole thing in a month while balancing college and work (although I didn't have a whole lot of time dedicated to either at the time, so whatever).

It took me nearly three years to get around to finishing Royal. I got it on launch on PS4, played it for two weeks solid, and then...sort of fell off. I blame quarantine and going a little hard in the paint on playing it every day since I had nothing else better to do, but that doesn't really matter. I was also dealing with quite a bit on my plate at the time. From my car dying (and it being entirely my fault), to losing my job, to...well, I'm not going to make this about that. I could, but I'd be here for ages if I went over everything that's happened in my life.

I just want to say how special this game is to me. The characters, the story, the music, everything just sticks with me. Even after all this time. Even after I dropped the game for three years and picked it back up on PC after transferring my save (worth the money I spent on getting my saves decrypted, if I'm honest), I never stopped loving it. I just...had some other stuff going on. Between Royal coming out and now, since I've finished it, so much has happened. It's wild to think about how much life can change in three years. Hell, how much life can change in the 6 and a half years since I finished the original. So much has happened.

Perhaps it's a little "cringe" to think so fondly of a piece of media like this (enough to shed tears). A piece of fiction. Something, at its very core, not real. Fake. Made up. But there is something about it that's real, and I can't even put it into words. But, you're just going to have to take my word for it. If you know, then you know. If that makes me cringe, then so be it. I think any piece of media can have a message, and I've always found the messages in the games I enjoy motivating. "Time never waits, so find your own meaning to life's struggle, with your heart as your guide", "Be true to yourself, no matter how painful it may be", "Stick to your values, no matter how tough things are, and change the world for the better in your own way", "Once you're at rock bottom, the only way to go is up". I wish I could apply some of these messages in my own life. I suppose the only thing stopping me is me, right? That's how that works.

God, I can feel myself wanting to cry again, but I just don't have any more tears. I think this was the emotional release I've been looking for during the last couple months. Things aren't so good for me right now, and they're about to get a lot worse now that the holidays are coming up. I...don't like this time of year, to put it simply. This will likely come up in my writing in one form or another. (Write what you know, I guess?)

Persona, as a series, has always been so special to me. I hope that the series continues to grow in the best possible way. Can't wait to cry like a bitch when I eventually finish Persona 3 Reload!

Anyway, I had more stuff I wrote here, but I got waaaaaayyyy off track and into some personal places, so I'll stop myself here.

Aaaaahhh...yeah, that one is gonna be rough, even when I know it's coming. Yep.

Well...all that said...my journey with The Phantom Thieves of Hearts isn't over quite yet...I get to ride out yet another journey with these guys...not to mention P5T coming out in around a month. I'm glad to be able to spend more time with these characters. Now, then...

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #rambles #drac.txt

2 notes · View notes

elizeshiro · 8 months ago

Text

sometimes i think life is good and sometimes i see posts like this that take me back to high school when the club i had spent literally every single day attending until the premise closed for the night after school wouldn't let me take part in anything because i couldn't afford a computer, a basic, simple laptop to use the software that was being taught

i had so much passion in that one thing; the only thing i'd ever had any interest in (and it's been that way ever since, too,) just because... i couldn't afford a pc

damn, my bad, shouldn't have been poor

i think about all the things i missed out on sometimes. i tried so hard. i went to my local college by sneaking in with my elder siblings to use the computers there to use the software in hopes that i could be at least acknowledged.

i wonder still if things could have been different. i regret. i regret so much.

'i have money so my opinion matters 8x more than you'

i've seen a rich kid who knew nothing about the content, didnt take anything seriously and was more busy pining over girls and worrying about the clicks left in his mouse(???) get praised as one of the best students the club had —

because he had the money to firsthand buy all the devices and software and *everything* we were learning and could use them and know about them....

....things none of the rest of us could do, because we couldn't afford those things.

idk it's offtopic now but. man. imagine being blamed for being poor.

we don't wanna be poor man. i missed out on so much. it hurt so much. it still hurts so much. it hurts to the point where i wish til this very day that i had never gotten an interest at all, so i wouldn't ever have to feel that kind of pain.

not being allowed to enjoy something so basic like a simple game or a basic goddamn windows OS just because you can't afford the latest graphics card and high end processing units... that's cruel man.

it still hurts, but these days i can hold things close to me like my own (at last!) laptop that i bought with my own money like it's the most precious thing to me in the world. if screenshot op really was poor, i don't get how he found that high horse with a stick on its saddle to plop his ass onto, because i don't wish this kind of pain onto anybody.

no one wants to be poor, no one wants to struggle to afford the basic pleasures of life.

that joy of being able to reach 'that world' that seemed so far away is uncomparable. i can't fathom how you'd look down on someone for something like that. 'the asshole trying to game on the 500$ student laptop' dawg no one wants to game on their shitty acer notebook, people just... don't have a choice.

if you had a single shred of morality in you, i really don't get how you could blame someone else for such a situation. if i had to pick between being able to play video games on a little computer or to have enough money to buy myself a meal today, i-

man, im so mad, i can't finish this post. i stopped so many times typing already i just *can't.*

My solution for bloatware is this: by law you should hire in every programming team someone who is Like, A Guy who has a crappy laptop with 4GB and an integrated graphics card, no scratch that, 2 GB of RAM, and a rural internet connection. And every time someone in your team proposes to add shit like NPCs with visible pores or ray tracing or all the bloatware that Windows, Adobe, etc. are doing now, they have to come back and try your project in the Guy's laptop and answer to him. He is allowed to insult you and humilliate you if it doesn't work in his laptop, and you should by law apologize and optimize it for him. If you try to put any kind of DRM or permanent internet connection, he is legally allowed to shoot you.

With about 5 or 10 years of that, we will fix the world.

#elize.txt #eliza.txt #dreaming of a dream #so many bad memories #so so so mad #there's so much i want to say but the anger is scattering my words to the wind #don't you ever dare blame someone for being unable to afford something #or ridicule them for having what you consider low end/quality items.

70K notes · View notes

juliepinsononline · 4 months ago

Text

Julie Pinson bids Eve a fond farewell

Death Becomes Her

(Soap's InDepth: Apr. 30, 2002)

Perhaps the only person more stunned than fans to find out who would be ascending the stairway to heaven at the end of PORT CHARLES' recently-concluded book, Secrets, was the seat filler herself--Julie Pinson (Eve).

"I found out right about the time when Ian and Eve were havinga lot of problems," the original cast member reveals, admitting that the plot twist was completely unexpected. "Honestly, I hadn't even thought about it! I didn't really feel that I was all that involved in the angel storyline."

A Moment of Silence

Althought Eve's friends and family still are struggling to deal with her untimely death, Pinson has had time to adjust, if not go through a public mourning. "We filmed my death on February 11, but it had to be kept secret," the actress says. "Of course, the whole cast and crew knew, so how are you going to keep it a secret? But that was the whole point of this story."

So hush-hush was Eve's demise that her portrayer never really suspected that her alter ego was bound for the great hereafter. "Normally you don't kill off your heroine," she explains. "You kill someone else. You kill the bad guy."

Pinson hopes to follow fellow PC alum Lisa Ann Hadley (ex-Julie) into primetime.

Moving on

Before Eve's body had time to grow cold, Pinson was hot on the trail of her next gig. "It's weird, because I still have to wake up at 5 a.m. every day. I've still got to get my butt in gear and find another job, because my first thought when I got the news was, 'Oh crap, I just bought a house!"

"I need a vacation," she adds, "but that's the last thing on my mind right now!"

Instead, she's pounding the pavement. "I'm doing pilot season and autidioning for films, which is exciting for me. I've never really done pilot season before. It's eye-opening, but nice to be getting my name out there."

Crossing Over

Although Pinson is a big fan of the East Coast ("I love New York!"), she'd just as soon not have to give up her lovely, newly-purchased home. "Who knows what may happen in the future, but for right now, I'd like to stay in L.A.," says the born-and-bred California girl. "I've never had to deal with snow!"

But, should the bright lights of the Big Apple beckon her, she will answer the call. "There are a lot of things to love about New York," she admits. "the shopping... and being able to walk everywhere. Nobody walks in L.A.!"

Pinson and Jay Pickett (Frank), with Ion Overman (ex-Gabriela), were among PC's few remaining original cast members.

Gone, But Not Forgotten

Meanwhile, though her run as Eve may have come to an abrupt end, that doesn't mean that Pinson wouldn't welcome another chance to strut her stuff in daytime. "I love soaps," she says. "It's a wonderful way to have a life and stay in one place, as opposed to being a vagabond, which can happen when you're making films. You have a job to go to every day, doing what you love."

So, as Pinson prepares for the future, she offers a few parting thoughts to her PC followers. "I really want to thank the fans for being so supportive over the years. We all grew up together, and they watched me go through my good times and my bad tims, and stuck by me."

Considering the fact that angels and vampires have made regular appearances in Port Charles, could Eve someday join the undead parade? "Hey, you never know," Pinson says with a laugh, "Never say never!"

--Richard M. Simms

Click on image to see full sized pics and captions

FYIFYIFYIFYI

In the Beginning: The actress was born on November 7 in Freemont, CA.

Waging War: Pinson battled bugs in the 1007 film Starship Troopers.

Furry friends: Sharing the animal lover's new house are two cats, Mikki and Mishka.

Ready for Primetime: Pinson appeared in the same episode of ABC sticom DHARMA & GREG as GENERAL HOSPITAL'S Leslie Charleson (Monica).

#julie pinson #actress #soap opera #television #actor #port charles #lisa ann hadley #ion overman #jay pickett #eve lamber

0 notes

anonymous-harpy · 6 months ago

Text

I guess I'll give this a shot

1. Trope... Trope... You'd think with me wanting to be an author I'd know how to answer XD I love True Love™ I may not be interested in entering into a relationship myself, but I absolutely LOVE watching two characters come together and forge and bond that nothing can break! Even if those two people bring a lot of baggage to the table

2. I don't write what I don't like. Ever. And narrowing this down is impossible because if you give me a "trope" I don't like but then you do something interesting with it then I'll like it.

3. Goggle Doc and Word Doc. My pc has Word and no Internet connection. My phone however has Goggle Docs and I can convert the files back and furth as needed with minimal crying.

4. Ao3. I stay out of politics so I can enjoy my life 😉

5. I'd definitely say Blood Ice. Trust me there's several things I'd like to fix, but I'm supposed happy with it as is... Also I'm certain it's the longest "regular" fic I've every written and I completed it in a reasonable time frame... HOPE FOR MY DESIRE TO BE A PUBLISHED AUTHOR

6. That's a though one... Because I'd say it's all the stuff I've abandoned, especially from my teenage years. Of my current batch? Well so far it's a fic I deleted "The Moviestar" there's just... Lots of issues with it. Like I liked it a lot but it was most definitely affected my shit going on in my life and I'll revamp it at some point.

7. You all know it's Cooler/Geliaden, my OC. they a comfort couple. Geliaden is already my comfort OC. I dump whatever emotional baggage I need to onto him and he gets some sweet affection from his husband~ of course cannon wise, I'll stand by my beautiful crack ship of Cooler/Baby-Vegeta. I was never into crack when I was younger, but I certainly see the appeal.

8. crackships oddly enough given my prior statement. I don't know, they just have to give off the right vibe. Otherwise I hate any ships that involve shipping a victim with their abuser... I can think of two off the top of my head and they both hurt me greatly.

9. My inability to write certain scenes... Like I don't know how to explain this... But okay, In Blood Ice- all the ballroom scenes after establishing the vibe of the parties the first time, Kaigor being Kaigor and Pirita being Pirita, I absolutely HATED writing all the conversations that weren't between Cooler and Gelid. BUT IT WAS IMPORTANT AND COULD NOT BE CUT OUT and I NEEDED to show not tell. I'm trying to improve and trying to show the moment I do not care about are a pian ib the ass, but I love showing the relationship progres because it's fun, cute and that's why I'm freaking writing gosh darn it

10. It was actually part of a request I got and the line that broke me was "And Cooler is displeased™" The ™ ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED ME

11. Angst and fluff go hand in hand~ angst is especially important for any good conflict.

12. That's lost to the sands of time, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with Sesshomaru my first fictional crush ever

13. Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I have like... A bunch of WIPs? I'll just say To Befriend A Tyrant since It's my primary fic right now

14. Inuyasha. The place where I first started simping for the cooler older brother.

15. I'm pretty sure Dragon Ball has the most attention from me. Second place would probably be TF2. (claimed by the sands of time HA!)

16. I am a lone fish. I tried to co-write once and the problem was I was a teenager and I struggle with motivation. I wouldn't mind co-writing with another person just so long as it was understood my perfectionist ass takes forever to write and I'm excellent for getting ideas flowing more than anything. (Has like 20 outlines for different fics I wanna write)

17. 🤔

18. That would be The Royal Lounge which is sitting, i think, at about 120,00 words. And I'm pretty sure I cranked out 100,000 in less than 8 months for that one which really had/has me concerned, however it's basically a book of tangentially related short stories soooooo eh not the same as writing a bigger fic or a novel

19. I have... A pile of things them yes. Geliaden being by far the most important one to me for several reasons.

20. That's not exactly fair because I've basically rewritten Cooler and Baby-Vegeta is a special kind of unhinged. Of course with Cooler we only have 2 movies worth of material to work with and I like me a soft boy who will snap somebody's neck for insulting his husband. Baby... Well I think I do a good job with him, I just added more crazy to him... And it's a just funny as hell to think of this insane, body snatching parasite randomly thirsting for someone and suddenly turning into an absolute masochist.

Making a fanfiction author ask game!

(Basically bc I’ve seen fanfiction ask games but I’m too lazy to find one with some of these specific questions, so here ya go!)

What is your favorite trope to write?

What is your least favorite trope to write?

What is the main program you use for writing (google docs, the ao3 writing text box, etc.)

What is the main site you publish/write on?

The fic you’re most proud of writing?

The fic you’re least proud of writing?

Favorite ship to write?

Least favorite ship to write?

Biggest pet peeve while writing?

Best/funniest comment you’ve ever gotten on a fic?

Do you prefer writing angst, crack, or fluff?

First ever fic written?

Latest fic written/latest WIP?

First fandom you ever wrote fanfiction for?

Fandom you wrote the most fanfiction for?

Do you prefer co-writing something or just working on it by yourself?

Favorite AU to write?

Most words/chapters ever written for one fic or oneshot?

Have you ever created an OC for a fic?

Hardest character to write/get the characterization correct for?

#ask game #fanfiction #writing #fic #fanfic #ao3 writer #fanfiction author #anonymous h

1K notes · View notes

submitforher · 1 year ago

Note

angel ...

it's been too long, i'm so sorry. are you doing okay? i hope so. i know you've been so stressed and worried, but i'm here for you always. even if i'm not actually here, call out for me and i will always come to you when you need me. i really hope things haven't been too hard for you.

i was on a trip last week actually and now that i'm back home, i've been quite sick. so that's why i haven't been around as much as i have wanted to be. the trip was so amazingly fun, but now i feel like my body is shutting down on me. :')

looking through your recent posts has made me feel a little better though, and thinking go you of course, and all of the beautiful and scandalous things you've said to me. especially in your last post, you have such a way with words that even the filthiest things sound charming. ^^

also it's so cool to hear that you're into pc building! i've always wanted a big fancy pc, but i don't know enough about it and i wouldn't even know where to begin, so i just stick with a little laptop that handles everything i need for now! (i also think i just want a keyboard that makes a super satisfying clicky noise when i use it...)

anyway, i missed you. i'm back. i hope you're okay and haven't forgotten about me... i certainly didn't forget about you. tell me how you've been <3 maybe you can help me feel better while i don't feel so good, just talking to my angel makes all the difference!!!

i hope you have a happy weekend <3

- 🐻

it has been, baby bear. i had it saved in my drafts that i missed you but i never posted it because life has been fucking draining lately and i've been at my lowest of lows. within the past week or so, i've had some shit going in my life that's far too personal for me to talk about but i had posted about it after. i deleted it because i felt like i had no emotional support and again, too personal. i've been even more stressed out after we last talked to each other and i've been struggling with my mental health but i'm still living and if i ever feel alone like that again, i'd never have to be because i have you!! other than the personal shit that's been going on with me, i've been thinking of nothing else but you, baby bear. that's what's been getting me through this and hopefully you thinking of me has been getting you through your sickness, which, if i were there, i'd take care of you and you'd never have to be by yourself when you're under the weather. tell me more about this trip that you were on though! i haven't been on a trip in a while and i'd like to get far away from here if i could.

you have a way with words yourself, baby bear. you know how to get me utterly weak in the knees and to put it bluntly, get me so fucking needy for you.

it's kind of a daunting thing to figure out what components are what and how to put together a pc but if you're ever looking into it, it's one of those things that i take interest in so i could talk to you about it for hours. i have a 65% keyboard that's hot-swappable and i had kailh box white switches because i like that clicky sound too but i swapped those out for some oil king switches. the sound of them is unique yet soothing and has a higher-pitched sound on return.

i'd never forget about you, baby bear, even if you're not here. you've left an everlasting impression on me and your messages are what i look forward to whenever i'm here. it's the whole reason why i'm still here. i'm on cloud nine whenever i get to talk to you and you lift me from out of that dark abyss like no one else.

#🐻 baby bear.

0 notes

hi-intrepid-heroes · 2 years ago

Note

hii so ive seen you posting about gming and i just want to ask you if you were anxious early on, and if you were, how you went about overcoming it? i know gming can be fun for me and i have a lot of cool ideas but im scared of like messing up and ruining the game for my players.

hi!!

thank you so much for sending me this!! i've been dm'ing for about a year now but we don't play super regularly so i still feel like a new-ish dm if i'm being honest. i'm still nervous before sessions and am still learning but some of my tips for overcoming anxiety are (note after writing: this got SO LONG sorry i hope it helps!):

-pick the right players: i think when you're starting out it's really important to have players that you trust! i'm really lucky and i play with people i've been friends with for like 10 years so i'm really comfortable around them, but in general try to have players that you trust not to hold mistakes you make (see tip #2) against you. it's easier to just go for it and try some things when you're comfortable around your players

-accept you're going to mess up sometimes: we all make mistakes, especially when you're learning a new skill, which is what dm'ing is. i don't know all the rules by heart, i have to change things halfway through sometimes, i sometimes run a not so great session, and that's just kind of. how it is. not everything's gonna be a banger. for me, it's really nice to address that? like, i recently ran a thing where two pcs were involved in a duel while the other two were just waiting, and they clearly got bored. so when the duel was over, i turned to them, said 'this was boring for you, right?', they said 'yeah' and i nodded and said 'cool, then we won't do it again', made a note of it, and move on. i cannot emphasise how much addressing something i did wrong due to miscalculation (i thought it would be shorter + more interesting for the pcs not involved), acknowledging it was a mistake and that i now know it doesn't work, and then just moving on instead of lingering on it helped in overcoming the anxiety around mistakes was. i tend to linger on my mistakes and by addressing it, i removed both doubt in my mind about how the players felt + doubt in their mind about whether i caught that it just wasn't that interesting, and that gave me the space to simply get on with the parts of the story that are interesting!

-find someone to talk to about your campaign that isn't your players: it's so nice to just braindump to another person sometimes, and this doesn't have to be someone who plays dnd! for the longest time, i would just talk to my mum about it, and simply the act of explaining to someone else what was happening and what i was struggling with helped me solve my own problems!

-prepare as much as you feel is necessary: i see a lot of people warning against over preparing and although you want to try and not railroad your players, preparing is great and in the beginning i prepared a lot! i'm now confident enough to improvise fantasy shots when necessary but i definitely wasn't a year ago and so i would just. make a bar if i knew they were going to an area with bars, and sometimes they wouldn't end up doing shots and i'd just save it. for me, this over preparation helped me feel safe in my own world and i knew there was less chance of me getting surprised (it still happened, it always happens (flashbacks to the barbarian in session 2 deciding she wanted a pet so i had to improvise a full fantasy pet store rip), but by preparing i saved myself a lot of stress)

-use online resources: there are so many blogs, youtube channels, and other things to help you with dm'ing and for me finding info/instructions made me feel more secure! i really like matthew colville, he's got a full playlist called running the game (find it here), which is about learning to dm, it's got 100+ videos and it's amazing. he advocates for using adventures, which i like cause they're a little bit more accessible! you don't have to homebrew if that seems intimidating, just run an adventure, they're just as fun and cool to do!! matthew colville is a good intro, when i have a specific question, i also look at the DM Lair, who has a lot of really focused videos, but i haven't seen that many. in theme with this blog, i also like adventuring academy which is brennan + guest, specifically this one with murph cause they have a beautiful bit where they emphasise that if you have watched dimension 20 you can dm, anyone can do it and i 100% agree. you can do it!! i understand you're nervous but the biggest hurdle (for me, at least) was the first session. the second they laugh at something you said or are creeped out by the haunted mansion you created based on a backstreet boys music video (only normal decisions here), you realise 'oh. this is kind of fun actually'. i'm still nervouse before sessions and a lot of way more experienced dms are too but it's also so fun just try it!! i'd love to hear how it goes!

dm's please reblog with your best tips for overcoming anxiety!!!!

#so sorry for the length i have one mood and its in this essay i will #thank u for the question if you have any more let me know i will try to help in any way i can <3 #good luck with dm'ing im rooting for you!!!!#shut up judith

25 notes · View notes

kathy-rah · 2 years ago

Text

As someone who is slowly learning how to do digital art alone, I may have some advices to give to those who want to start and don't have time/resources to spend a lot of time trying and testing out drawing processes.

These are some things that I've found useful but Boi, it got me a lot of time to get to it. Of course, this is just what I think can be a good advice for who is a newbie like me, you can try it as a way to start your coloring process but it's not something professional t.t so take it with a bit of salt

First advice I wanna give is to do like I did during this drawing process: while I keep everything on different layers (skin tone / armor / hair /detail / background), don't just start with one layer and then start another one after rendering the first one.

Multiple times I've noticed how the different tones didn't match to each other, or the colors were simply horrible to see next to each other. I've spent a lot of time fixing this type of issues in my old drawing, always deleting the layers (fully rendered) or trying to change the tone with horrible results.

Instead, if you too happen to have this problem, I'd advice you to first coloring everything with the base color. As you see in the video, as first thing I simply filled the lineart with base colors. It's not clear but I assure you I've changed his skin tone multiple times because it didn't match the armor. Same with the mask and the red details.

This is something you can easily do at the beginning to see if the colors match and are nice to see all together in the bigger picture.

It's really something easy and I'm 100% sure they teach you this literally at the beginning of art school but Boi I'm stupid. I only learn when I do things myself t.t

Change colors as much as you want until you've reached your desired tones. Be careful of saturation levels. To make everything more balanced, play with the hue level for every base color you've used. You don't like how the red is in contrast with the blue? Change the red layer' hue/saturation values a bit and you'll find the perfect type of red you need.

After you are happy with the overall results, start with the rendering.

This is something I recommend to do if you still aren't used to the use of tones/saturation.

If you need some examples of the pieces where I struggled, here you go: this one is probably my fav one even now that I draw from pc.

Before:

As you can see there isn't balance in the colors. Fulgrim's skin is too much out of everything and in general there is too much differences between the colors. It just doesn't look harmonious. Then:

I assure you I haven't re-drawn anything here, just fixed the saturation, tones and hue levels (and added a bit more of shadows), yet now everything matches. (i also have changed the color of the lineart in a few places, look at the hair for example).

This might looks obvious to others, but I've spent a lot of time on this piece with the only focus on making those colors look nicely together and with time I've learned from my mistakes.

Another example: the commission I did a few weeks ago. I had to draw an Imperial fist, so you'd expect to see a yellow armor. Considering that I painted the background with red colors, bright yellow would have been quite a shock to see: that's why the base color is not yellow but orange. Same thing the clothes aren't white anymore but a light pink.

On a white background it looks weird for an IF armor, yet this is the result at the end:

Yellow is only for the parts hit by the light, where the shadow are more on the red tones. (don't mind the light blue for now)

Of course, you have to take in consideration many things before changing the hues of the original colors, but I hope this could help c:

#Art tips #For newbies like me #Just in case you're struggling with the colors like used to do #Kind of rambling #Video #My art #Digital art #Long post #Might also be wrong but at least it's a start

18 notes · View notes

effielumiere · 3 years ago

Text

The Companion 5

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre:Romance, Idol AU, Drama, Comedy, Angst, Soulmate AU (Begins on this chapter), Slow burn (ends here)

Chapter Warning(s): Crying. Secrets unveiled. Little Jimin :D UNEDITED!

Legend:

"English words that are said as is and or/ translated from English to Korean"

Word count: 3.4k maybe 4k (?)

A/N: Hello! I've returned! The slow burn ends here! As the reader, you'll now know why Jimin gets jelly and is very protective of her. Just a quick reminder that this has Soulmate AU included in the genre. I tried to make this a little bit more longer than the usual itty bitty chapters since it's not only gonna be in the MC or Jimin's POV because there's a part that's in Third Person POV from now on, butttt I keep getting the alert of 4096 word block limit on my pc so, Im posting this using my phone. sooooo I'll update soon to make up for the cliffhanger sorry, y'all. (squint in tiny, there's angst in there somewhere lol) I hope you'll enjoy this one💜 Please don't forget to reply here or send an ask (you can be anonymous <3) on what you think about this chapter or the series, like and reblog!

< fourpointfive | masterlist | fivepointfive >

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good morning," Namjoon grins as he drinks his coffee, the other members were grinning as well and just like that I knew I was in for a treat [insert sarcasm].

"You look great!" Jungkook says a bit too enthusiastically which had me shaking my head as I told him "And here I thought you two had my back,"

"Y/n-ssi," I heard my name being yelled from another room, surely by a certain Park Jimin, "Help... please"

"Does this man know any other word aside from help and please?" I mutter to myself as I walk towards the dressing room, all of the stylists were outside talking about today's set for the performance video. I chug the last bit of my coffee into my mouth as if drinking a shot of alcohol and threw the paper cup into the trash bin before entering the room to my surprise was empty except for Jimin and I.

"Could you help me with my cuff links?" he asks curiously eyeing my movements as I move to the table to remove the cuff links from its box and walking up to him. Reaching for his wrist, I hold it lightly as I put his cuff links in place. I look up and catch him staring at me.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask him quietly.

"Why are you avoiding me?" he talks back in a quiet tone, I sigh and look away from his face and look down, holding his other wrist and mirroring what I'd done to the other one.

"I'm not avoiding you, Jimin-ah," I say as I struggle a little with his cuff links "I'm busy"

He scoffs, "With what?"

"I actually help around, you know"

"I'm pretty sure Sejin-nim knows you're my... personal assistant, meaning you're not meant to be moving around much unless I say so," he says looking towards the door then back down at me. I turn his hand upward as I struggle with the last cufflink, the tips of his fingers gently touch my wrist before lightly wrapping holding it in his hands. I stare at his hand on me before slowly looking back up at him finding his eyes on me. It's been weeks since the music video for Butter was released and I avoided him like the plague on the second day of filming the music video. After that, he kept his distance from me which made me slightly relieved but also unsure. His hair was growing out, rainbow highlights gone and his dark has grow out a bit under the platinum blonde hair.

"I can't just sit around and wait for you to tell me what to do,"

"The staff have plenty of help, Y/n-ssi" he says in a low quiet voice "I thought Moni-hyung told you you're job is to be an emotional companion; next to me most of the time."

"Jesus Christ, Jimin!" I huff in frustration "I need air and space just like any other person!" I drop his hand as I stomp out of the room and walk the empty seat behind Sejin.

"You look like you're about to wring someone's neck." Namjoon says as he stands next to my sitting form "Is that 'someone' Jimin?" Taehyung walks up next to him straightening his shirt a little.

"What did he do now?"

"He doesn't like me walking around helping the staff," I tell them "It's suffocating"

"He just doesn't want to getting tired?" Namjoon says in a questioning tone, unsure with what he just said

"Don't cover for him, Joon" I softly scold him "I don't care if you're siding with his 'good reasoning', y'all are being strange."

"He just cares a lot about , Y/n. Don't question his actions too much, " he says almost dismissively as he straightens his posture next to we when Jimin watches us like a hawk while a stylists fixes his hair.

"Stop questioning everything he does or say," he mutters beside me looking at his phone "He's protective of you for a reason, you'll understand soon. Just give him time and be patient,"

"I don't think I could say before the two year contract ends, Joon" I confess looking around the room as the production team makes sure that everything is all set and ready, "I don't exactly know when, but I'm resigning earlier than what you guys expect." I stood up from my chair and turned around to find Namjoon looking like a goldfish jaw moving, stuttering to say something but I cut him off before he could even say something.

"Don't worry, it's not today or tomorrow, the day after, the weekend or the end of the month or the month after, but it's gonna be sooner than expected if this keeps going" I smile at him as I walk backstage to grab my bag and headed for the exit, hauling a taxi to drive me back to the apartment. Sending Jimin a text saying that I was headed home, not bothering to check my phone when there were notifications that vibrated one after the other.

~~~~----~~~~

I was passed out on the couch after eating a lot of popcorn with two bottles of soda when the chime of the doorbell woke me up. It was repeatedly chiming signaling that whoever was on the other side of the door was very impatient and probably deserved a bat to the head they Steve Harrington crushed a demogorgon's skull into a very unpleasant pancake. I got up slowly cradling my head in my hands, squinting at the bright light of the apartment.

"Calm the fuck down!" I groaned, yelling at whoever was at the door.

"'The fuck you want?!" I exclaimed, pissed as I pulled the door open revealing pillowy lips, puffy cheeks and a pair of dark brown puppy eyes staring back at me, I groaned for the second time resting my forehead on the doorframe "It's late, Jimin-ah! Isn't my job supposed to be over hours ago, besides it's the weekend."

"This isn't work related. I promise." he smiles a little "get dressed, wear something warm and hurry,"

"why?" I croaked

"Because it's gonna be a bit chilly where we're headed, hurry!" he pushes me back inside gently as he enters the apartment with me. I was about to point out that it was rude of him to invite himself in but then I remembered that this was his apartment. I caught him looking around a little bit when I came back after changing my clothes and grabbing a short trench coat from my closet. I was at the doorway putting my shoes on when he slowly walks up to me and waits for me to step out of the apartment before putting his shoes on and locking the apartment door behind him. It felt somewhat like a routine, me putting my shoes on and waiting for him to put on his shoes as he locks the door behind him. It was very couple-like. It was... strange.

"Deja vu"

"Hmm?" he turns towards me "Did you say something?"

"Deja vu," I stare at my feet "It feels like I've been here before,"

"We all get those moments," he says after a little while "You probably experienced it in a different life. It sounds like something Jungkook or Moni-hyung would say."

"It does," I smile as we put our masks on as enter the elevator, heading to the lobby.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask as he drives, light posts passing by, two cars were behind us I guessed it was security. They were always around and I've grown accustomed to it, "Where are we gonna go?"

"Be patient, Y/n-ssi," he smiles as we drive uphill.

"I can't really be patient or calm for that matter when you're driving uphill in the dark," I chuckle "It's past 8pm, we should be in our own beds asleep,"

"This is more fun than sleep," he smiles reaching over to hold my hand, threading his fingers through mine "Let's call it a tourist spot by Park Jimin," he pulls up on an overviewing parking lot of the city. the city light almost covering the entire city. Yellow, white, bits of blue, green and rights in the distance covering buildings making it look like it was a Christmas Village without the snow. He locks the doors and opens the sunroof of the Palisade, pushing his seat back to give him more leg space before reaching behind us where a bag I didn't notice appears. Placing it on his lap he opens it, pulling out a bottle of Soju placing it on the cup holder on the console and pulling out a cylindrical food covered in tin foil then handing it to me. I stare at it then at him as if he was ridiculous.

"What?" he asks, eyes wide

"What are we doing?" I ask carefully

"We're on a midnight picnic," he motions for the tin foil covered food on his hand and I take it from him. Carefully undoing and unrolling the foil I was met with a thin sheet of seaweed wrapper and rice underneath it.

"Did you prepare this?" I ask him as I take a slice of the Gimpab and put the slice in my mouth as I open the packaging at his direction and he grabs a slice

"No," he chuckles "I mean I did, but Yoongi hyung sliced it. I sliced the first one that Jungkook ended up eating, it was all wonky"

"Thank God for Yoongi then,"

"Hey!" He exclaims laughing "I prepared almost everything in this bag for us," He reaches in and pulls out two two-layered bento boxes handing one to me before reaching in again and producing a tiny bag consisting of our utensils

"You can drink the Soju if you want, I could too, but I need to drive us home," He smiles reaching for another slice. Turning behind us again he takes two water bottles and and hands one my way. I look at the windshield again at the city when I noticed a few stars twinkling in the night sky. Remembering that he opened the sun roof, I look up again,

"Woah," I gasp in awe "Now would you look at that..."

~~~~~~~~~~

Jimin couldn't bother about the bento box on his lap and the empty insulated lunch bag in between them. He stared at Y/n, watching her wide eyed staring at the clear stars in the night sky. She gasps as she forgets her food momentarily, mesmerized by the constellations above. He initially planned to show off his Astronomy knowledge by stargazing with her while they sat in the SUV, enjoying late dinner. But the tables turned for a second when he saw how her eyes widened as she looks at the view before them then hurriedly shuffling the get in a good position to look at the constellations above them. Stargazing was his plan, dinner was a last minute idea since he knew that she didn't have enough food left in her pantry, except for the abundance of rameyeon which he now disapproved of because she was losing weight from the looks of it. So he made dinner, two varieties of kimchi, a few slices of samgyeopsal, three medium sides chunks of hanwoo beef that Yoongi taught him to prepare among other things. But everything was momentarily forgotten when he was very close to her. Almost so close that their shoulders were touching. Y/n was oblivious to what she was doing while Jimin was between a rock and a hard place in his head, deciding on whether or not he's going to admit too early the truth of why she was there. Why he really hired her despite how mad and confused the other members where with why he was so adamant that he needed to hire her. The truth.

The truth being out of all of the people in the world and how rare their situation was - rare because not everyone experiences what they did even though she didn't have any knowledge about it - that said situation being soulmates.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jimin was around seven or eight years old when he dreamed of being at an unfamiliar house. But it seemed so real that as a child, he was convinced it was real. Thinking that he was on a family vacation with his family, he calls for his dad, nothing. He tries calling out to his mom, nothing again. His little brother maybe?

"Eomma!" he tries again "Appa!" feeling a little scared that his parents weren't with him in an unfamiliar house he's never been in before, he heads towards the living room couch sitting atop it. He waits a few more minutes hoping his parents will arrive soon for him to get him.

After what feels like hours, the sun was close to setting and he knew it was going to get dark soon, he gets up from the couch to switch the lights open only to be surprised when the lights didn't open, he ran around the house panic setting in as he tries to open the lights to no avail. He opens a door to a bedroom, getting inside he closes the door behind him and climbs the bed hiding under the covers. Soon the sun disappears and it was very dark with only the moonlight from the window being his light.

Jimin bites his quivering lip, 'I'm brave,' he thinks, convincing himself 'I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of the dark.', he repeats his mantra. He tries to call out for his parents again when no one answers, a tear falls from his eyes followed by more his previous mantra of not being afraid of the dark long forgotten. He sobs quietly under the covers, arms around his legs, forehead on his knees, lightly rocking himself back and forth, he calls out for his parents again. For what feels like a long time he feels his back a bit cold and when he looks up he watches the sheets being pulled back for a second his lifts thinking it's his mom pulling back the sheets only to find a little girl around his age, on top of the covers looking back at him wide-eyed. His eyebrows furrow as he looks at her with tears in my eyes, he decides to ask her if she has seen his parents, but before he could ask she reaches forward speaking in a language he's never heard of before.

"Hello... Don't cry," she says every once in a while after reaches forward wiping his tears with her tiny hands. When most of the tears were wiped from his face, he stares at her face wondering if she was an angel, his guardian angel. She smiles at him and she speaks again "Don't cry, okay? What's your name?" She asks as she wraps him in a hug, he was reluctant at first but once he felt her warmth, he immediately hugs her back holding on to her, scared she might disappear and he'll he alone again, so in that moment at a young age, he made the decision to fully trust her and at that moment the room was filled with light, the question of what his name was forgotten.

Opening his eyes, he looks behind the little girl where the door was open revealing the entire house. From where he was, he was able to see the couch where he was at earlier the entire house was filled with light and when he looked back at the little girl, he finally gets to see how she looked like in the light. He hair was down, lips just as pouty as his are, eyes wandering around the room in bewilderment. She was just as surprised as he was when the light came on, when her eyes landed back on the little boy with pouty lips and chubby cheeks, she gasps. Carefully holding his face she noticed a purple bruising on his right eye where there were tiny lines, not it was her who had watery eyes as she looked at his eye. Jimin finally realizes she was staring at the stitches on his eye that he got a few days ago after slipping in the bathroom.

"Oh this?" he points at his eye, he was about to touch but he remembers his mom telling him not to touch it so he drops his hand "I'm okay," he tells the girl who was now very much sobbing, he points at himself "Okay!" He wasn't entirely sure what it meant but in school the teacher would say it often and he knew it was a good, happy thing. As long as it was happy, she'll probably not cry over it. Jimin gently wipes a few tears that escaped the girl's eyes. He realizes she looked angelic but she also looked as adorable as other babies, he grabs her face gently in between his hands "Baby-ah" he calls her

"Huh? What did you say? I don't understand you," she says, wiping her face.

"I don't understand you," he tells her, she huffs in confusion quickly realizing that he doesn't speak the words she was speaking.

"Hmm... It's okay," she smiles "You and me should stay together," she makes a motion of putting her to index fingers side by side. Jimin nods, understanding the little sign she made. Getting off of the bed together, he grabs her hand and she lets him as he walks ahead of her looking around the house as they made their way to the fridge to find food. After Jimin was doing the extreme stuff for his new found friend; grabbing a nearby chair and climbing it to open the freezer, he grabs the tub of vanilla ice cream and one spoon from the table top (they didn't know where the cutlery was and no one was around to ask), they hold hands again as she leads them to the back yard as she carried the tub and Jimin was holding on to the spoon. When she opens the door to the backyard Jimin sees the ocean and a few coconut trees. They sit on the swing next to each other, eating the ice cream and when Jimin looked up he saw countless stars above him, he tried counting them all with the little girl but they fell asleep next to each other, before he fell asleep he smiled through his one swollen eye at her "I'll stay here with you, I'll never leave you. I promise," Y/n looked at him in confusion but seeing him with his pinky out she quickly wraps her pinky around his and smiles "I'll see you again when we go to sleep, I guess. Now I don't have to be alone here".

When he did wake up, he was back in his room in Busan and for the first time in years, the first thing he did that morning was cry his eyes out startling his parents and his little brother. When his parents asked him why he was crying and kept repeating that he left 'her' when he promised not to, it just made him cry more and when he finally calmed down, he explained to them his dream. His parents look at each other with a look and they smile at him proudly "Jimin-ah," his dad says happily but also sympathetically at his crying first born "You met your soulmate,"

"What is that, dad?"

"It means she's the one you're going to spend your whole life with, someone who is going to love you forever. Kind of like how your dad and I ended up," his mom tells him

"Did she tell you where she's from?" his dad asks to which he shakes his head

"She didn't speak Korean. She knows what Okay means."

"Ah..." his dad nods before looking at his mom who was giggling who said "He's going to have a hard time finding her but at least he knows how to somehow find her,"

"I had a hard time looking for you and you were just a few districts over," he laughs "he might end up going around the globe to look for a soulmate."

Jimin's dad then turns back to him and says "You'll see her again, Jimin-ah. As long as wherever she is, she's asleep. You'll see her again. You'll remember her, but she won't remember you when she wakes up."

"How come she won't remember me?" Jimin asked his dad feeling sad

"Because it's how soulmates work, my son" he smiles at Jimin "We are supposed to find them; they're the other half that will complete us and we, in return , complete them, but we are supposed to find them not the other way around.

She'll remember you when she's asleep, but not while she's awake. So ask her everything you can to find her. Just remember to be kind to her Jimin-ah, and love her unconditionally"

Jimin watches his parents, thinking about what his parents said if what they said was true then he was going to see her again tonight when he goes to sleep. But she didn't show up that evening, and he patiently waited for her until he fell asleep and woke up in his bed again crying to his parents that she wasn't there leading to them comforting a very confused Jimin.

The little girl was there however, but when she fell asleep and arrived in the house at the beach Jimin was already fading meaning he was already waking up soon and she sat there on his spot watching the sunrise crying that she didn't see her new friend at the beach house all because she flew on a plane with her parents to a place called Seoul.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

< fourpointfive | masterlist | fivepointfive >

A/N: Reply down below if you sat the Do You - RM, I think he knows - Taylor Swift and Promise - Park Jimin references💜

TAGLIST [OPEN! Reply on this blue post to be added] : (names in bold please check your visibility settings, add another blog to your account or check FAQs)

@biggiecheesewantsyoursoul @kookieebangtan @yoongistangerine @why-the-heck-am-i-here @ncizen @craftymoonchaos @canarystwin @itsnotquimey @chubsjmin @bllatrixcarpnter @enthralled-bandit @ireadthensuetheauthors @nalledimessi @lovelgirl22 @sopejinsunflower @chimchimmarie @bbl32 @t4esss @builtalongthewayside @messofthecentury

PERMANENT TAGLIST (OPEN) [send me an ask to be added or reply on this purple post]:

@lovergirl1316 @buttvi @borahae-reads @lemonadecandycandy @misshale21 @damn-u-min-yoongi @tattoomom11 @chimchimmarie

51 notes · View notes