#i had forgotten some details and now that i rewatched i feel like i have a better idea of who naga is than before

[t-u-i-t-c]

balance & naga // episode 31

[justghostly-things]

Why Mike Wheeler should get Vecna'd

I might need to rant about Mike Wheeler (to like the surprise of no one.) because if it's gonna be anyone its gotta be him, right? I don't think he is gonna die, or it's gonna be the exact same as it was for Max. (Simply because we have seen it before.) but I don't think it would be beneficial to Vecna any of the other characters.

and assuming that the Duffer brothers aren't just bad writers we know Mike has been acting weird for two whole seasons now. (I personally think it was worse in season 3 but it was still strange in season 4.) The show established him a certain way in season 1 then nailed it into the coffin that this is who he is in season 2 but then season 3 rolls around and he is just... Different. (An ass) Of course, we have our theories and analysis (thank you, to anyone who have compiled all the hints into one place what would we do without you 😭This or This or This)

but still.

Since we are talking about Stranger Things S4 and S5 there are a lot of uncomfortable topics that are going to be mentioned, I do not go into details. I barely mention it. I do not describe anything, but I do talk about the themes. Please stay safe while reading

We should look at this in three ways.

What it brings to the story

What advantage would it give Vecna (aka why would he want to Vecna them)

And how does it help the character

Let's talk about Max first. Because we can work out the logic with her and then try and translate it to other characters.

I think its import for this section to know that what Max has delt with is a very scary real thing. Many children have a very similar life as Max, and all I am going to do is talk about them from within the show. I will say is you are not a bad person because you wish death on someone who is hurting you. But from here on I am talking about Max from both her Pov and Vecna's. None of these things are my thought or feeling on the greater topic of abuse and dysfunctional families.

From a story perspective why was Max the one who got Vecna'd and not like, Dustin or Lucas? If you answered because she watched Billy die. Yes. Anyone who understands a progression of a story can figure out why it makes sense for Max to be Vecna'd. We create this guy who shows you your trauma reflected back at you and then kills you as seen in both Fred (Nancy's friend) and Chrissy.

Which of the main cast of characters just went through a trauma event just the season before? Max.

I think if this is all you take from season 4 you have fundamentally forgotten one important thing about Max getting Vecna'd. It isn't just about the trauma of her watching her brother die. No, Vecna specifically targets the fact that Max deep-down wished-for Billy to die, she used to fantasize about it. It isn't just survival guilt. And we are shown this visually through Fred who also has survival guilt. Their trauma is different because Max's guilt isn't just about surviving. That is why it had to be Max. Because all of the characters could feel some sort of Survival guilt. They have watched so many people die and get hurt. it reveals two things. One is how Max truly feels about Billy's death, and two it tells us more about what Vacna is actually doing in the vision. Because he isn't just trying to torture a traumatized Max to the point that she willing to just give up. it is showing Max some "ugly truth" about her to herself. Because that is what Vecna is. Or thinks he is. He sees the world as horrible and should be corrected and the only way to do that is by "starting over". This is him showing max what is "wrong" with her and killing her (so he can start her over/create a new her)

I feel like I need to rewatch season 3 again because I can't remember exactly but I think Max most likely played a big part in season 3 where she kept meddling with Possessed Billy. (Mike did too but we will get to that(this thing is gonna be long btw)) She showed that she is willing and able to mess up Vecna's plans.

(It is kinda a debated if it was just the Mind Flayer or if it was Vecna himself that possessed Billy (and Will in season 2) but for the purpose of this we will say that he at least knows the role that Max (and Mike) played in the mall fight.)

All of this to say from Vecna's Perspective, he sees a group of kids who keep getting in the way, And they are all close to El? And one of these kids has extreme guilt about Billy? Yeah of course he targets her. It is so useful. It'll get to El and the rest of the party. Making them weaker and affect them emotionally so they are more likely to react irrationally. It's so perfect for him. Literally Max says so in the show.

and Max, (I can tell some people aren't gonna be happy with me for this so just know I love max so much please, but) she up until season 4 was a bit of a weird character. She is a confusing character. Especially in season 2, she has a lot of character inconsistencies. This video explains all of what I am talking about in this section this really well. but she isn't really a main character until season 4. She plays more of a supporting role. Especially in season 3 where she is helping El find part of independence. And yes, we know Max has a hard home life and how Billy is an ass to her. We know this but we don't really understand it until season 4. She just feels like an inconsistent character up until this point. (you know who else is an inconsistent character-) Her getting Vecna'd shows us a direct shot into her head and we can start to piece together the truth of her character. We really get to understand why she is inconsistent. And how it isn't a flaw of the writing, it's Max being 13 and dealing with a terrible home life.

the best part about it is that there are clues all over that are screaming at us and I can tell you right now that there were probably so many children who saw themself in Max. And people who were screaming about how this is why! It's because of her home life! while the rest of us were just calling it inconsistent writing. And yes, I am gonna bring it up because this is exactly what we see with Mike Wheelers character. Because the truth is that we haven't seen the whole story, we have barely seen anything of Mike for the last two seasons. (mentally i know he is on screen I mean mentally) we just have a theory on what is going on in his head. and I think it would be a waste not to use Vecna to do the same thing they did for Max for Mike and this is ignoring all of the parallels the two characters have. this is just from a story point of view and omg can you tell how passionate I am about this??

Now do i think it is impossible for any of the other character to get Vecna'd? No? it would probably be more similar to how Nancy got Vecna'd. Mostly because if my other theory is correct (is this shameless self-promotion?) I don't think there is time for like all the character to get Vecna'd.

But yeah, lets talk about a few of the character and why I do or don't think they could get Vecna'd. I will try to make this quick.

Steve: Steve is very interesting and I kind of wanna make like a character analysis about him at some point (probably after I rewatch the show) but I think it could go either way. Steves whole arc for the whole show is to show us how someone can change. Steve started as an ass and has slowly been evolving to become a better person. And I think there is a place for Vecna to come into that but idk if he needs it. I think Steve's can jump over the last hoop by himself (unlike some people who haven't even started jumping... (Mike)) Overall I don't think it will tell us anything we don't already know about Steve, but I can see Vecna wanting to incapacity Steve because of his physical strength. Dustin: Again, I am not sure what more Dustin getting Vecna'd will tell us about Dustin. If anyone has any thoughts, please don't be scared to let me know. I can see Vecna also wanting to take out Dustin because of his smarts. So strategically I can see this being something Vecna would want to "Take out" (but i am not sure how strategic Vecna is? I certainly don't think it would be the main reason that he targets someone.) Lucas: Idk, I think it would be great to have Lucus be more import to the plot but if he is gonna get Vecna'd it's gonna be about Max and him "teaming" up with the Basketball? guys. (I say hesitantly because I don't remember what sport it was...) Which we don't need to be told he feels bad about because he told us. So, idk. I guess we can talk about Will as well: but it's really all the same thing, I don't know what new information we can learn if we see him getting Vecna'd. Sure, its angsty and that might be reason enough for some people, but I know if I was writing Season 5, I wouldn't even consider it. We know almost everything that is plaguing Will. We see almost everything first hand. And sure, we knew about Billy for Max but like I said it was more than just "she watched Billy die" and sure maybe there is something I just don't see or don't know. I just don't see reason for this poor boy to go through more. The other thing is I don't see why Vecna would want to not just kill but make Will suffer. Make him have a pain full death? If Vecna wanted Will dead, Will would be dead. its plain and simple. the amount of times Vecna had Will in his grasps? I don't believe it was just luck. I would actually love to see if there aren't times where Will could be in danger, or it would make more sense for the danger to target will but for some reason it didn't, and he came out unscathed? (if I notice anything in my rewatch I will add it here) but yeah. also, there is all the parallels between Will and Vecna, so I think Vecna sees himself in will, maybe like how he saw himself in El and maybe will try and recite him. Idk but it seems (to me at least) that Vecna has more planed than, make him suffer and then die, in store for will. This is a really good analysis and this I agreed with on why Will was probably not gonna get Vecna'd. But it is a really good (and funny) video so go check it out if you haven't.

all of this is making me want to do an analysis on Vecna/henry. I don't think he is a partially new kind of villain, but I think it would be fun to try and dive into his head.

Hopeful this is my last point where I finally get to talk about my boy Mike wheeler. This is a Mike wheeler safe place. (I say as I am about to make my point on why he should go through pain and torture next season.)

I kind of have talked about some of this but let's dive into more detail (like we did with Max) and talk about my three main points

What it brings to the story

What advantage would it give Vecna (aka why would he want to Vecna them)

And how does it help the character

I feel like the story has been building up to this for a long time actually. Not only with the stalker shots that Mike is shot in but everything we see about his character. From how much we have seen his character change between season 2 and 3, to how little we actually know about Mikes inner workings. Mike is a puzzle right now. He is surrounded by character who are at least decently written and at most complex and compelling. And he is a main character? Like if Mike was a Minor or supporting character (like Erica and arguably robin) it would be weird sure but at least expectable. But Mike was THE main character in the opening season. We learn the most about him. And we see a lot of the story threw his eyes. And what? Were just going to throw all of that away? Like it was nothing?

But! I bring up the point I made about Max again. About what she was like in season two, what our impression of Max as a character and how that changed in season 4. The reason her character acted like that was because of things we didn't have connections for until season 4. All the parts were laid out in front of us they just needed to be connected. Mike getting Vecna'd will literally connect the dots for us. it'll show us an obvious and clear answer for what is wrong with Mike. Because how, honestly, are they going to show us all of these complex things that has been haunting Mike without a Vecna vision? It's the last season. We do not have endless time to unpack everything that is happening inside his head. Especially if the season is going to be as busy as I expect. We have like 20 other character who needs screen time, and we are getting introduced to more characters? And we have to fight the big bad? and there is gonna be a time skip (I swear to whatever higher being there is if they try to pull a "all Mikes' problems got fixed over the time skip" bs I am gonna be on the news for homicide. no-one will ever hear the end of it, omg. i don't even care if Byler becomes cannon, there will be war.) point is this matter is delicate and Mike lips on the matter are sealed so tight. If he hasn't said a word about this in 3 years he isn't gonna talk about it now. He needs a push, and Vecna is going to push him down a flight of stairs.

I do feel like I am repeating myself but it's crazy how similar Mike and Max character are. Almost like they are shining bright neon lights saying like look at this! notice this! and I know I am not the only one to point this out. But like what was stated in this video, Mike is almost the perfect person to Vecna'd , he not only has a connection with both El and Will. He, as Will would put it, is "the heart" of the party. He is connected to all the other character in some way. And if taking Max out would of killed motivation/ made the party unstable imagine what killing Mike would do to them? Which is why I do believe in the Mike was the original four victim theory (I think I saw someone go into more detail, but I can't find it. If I do, I will update with both links)

Also, remember when I mentioned that both Mike and Max have meddled with Vecna's plot in season 3, I just think I should point out how in the gym scene where they trap Billy in the sauna it is Mike taunting Him. And in season 2 he was the one who figured out that Will was possessed. All I can think of for season 1 is that he took El in and formed a kindling with her, which isn't strong evidence but idk maybe Vecna gets jealous easily idk.

And I think to understand this last point I would recommend watching or reading threw the links I linked all the way at the top of this discussion. but I would urge you to watch this at the very least: This video

if you haven't caught on yet, I do believe the Vecna visions are going to reveal to the audience that Mike is gay and has been the whole time. aemiron-main has a very good theory on how I think this is gonna go, because that falls into the same thought bubble as Max's. Where I think the theme isn't just that he is dealing with internalised Homophobia but his guilt surrounding his queerness. which we can easily explore through a vision. and it explains why he has been acting this way, especially in season 3. Like, can you even think about what this poor kid is going though mentally because, your best friend, literally your person got possessed, you watched as they lead to your friends new dad's death? like you can do nothing? and you blame yourself because if you had stop being gay for two seconds just to notice that there is something off about him you could have saved everyone? YEah I would be an asshole as well. Honestly, I think all the clues are there we just Vecna to piece them together.

And even in the very unlikely situation where I and like every other Byler are wrong about Mike being gay. Mike getting Vecna'd can only mean positive things for his character.

I feel like I had another point to make but I genuinely can't remember what it was T_T so, if I remember I will update this. But that is my point. Mike wheeler is gay and will be tormented by demonic infused visions of him being gay in the next season. so, you know. like an average Tuesday for any queer.

[violeteclipseboaty]

So I recently went to go watch KOTPOTA again. I wanted to share my thoughts overall on the film, I couldn't properly do it before because I had forgotten some stuff lol

The pacing: at first watch I though it was kinda weird but watching it again I realized it pretty much went straight to the point, if anything I wanted MORE but you know the movie would've been too long but I wouldn't have minded either way. I mean, I've watched the Avatar and Harry Potter movies, so yeah I could've handled that lol

I really like the environment they set up with the eagle clan; their culture, their tradition with the eggs, and their bond with the eagles. I hope we get to see more details in the next movie.

The cinematography was amazing, they really nailed it. The sceneries were outstanding. A lot of that stuff reminded me back to Rise, back when it was filled with human life, now sadly the structures are abandoned and overtaken by nature but look pretty either way. The action scenes omg were so engaging and just done so well.

Let's talk about the main characters:

Noa: Great character. He's curious, smart, brave, and compassionate. I know a lot of people wanted him to be Caesar's descendant but i didnt really care about that. I'm excited where his next journey will take us if they have the chance to make a sequel (please 🙏) I'm pretty sure at the end of the film, Noa now has a new view of the world he lives in and now questioning his entire existence lol

Raka: loved him!! I really like how he truly understood what Caesar stood for. I did notice some things he believed were wrong lol but he's got the spirit and would lighten up the mood after what happened with Noa's clan. He's got a good heart, he sacrificed himself for Mae despite knowing her for a very short amount of time after all. Also I refuse to believe he's dead so there's that also and I hope he comes back to guide both Mae and Noa onto the path for the coexistence of both apes and humans.

Soona: I really wish we could've gotten more scenes with her, but I really like her. She's brave, sweet, and a ride or die for both Noa and Anaya. I hope we get to see her more in the next film

Anaya: yall already know cause I made a seperate post lol but loved him and I wish we had more scenes with him as well! I felt so bad for him when we see him again with Proximus, he's been through enough!

Proximus: he was a great villian and I did not like him, which is good! Not all villians need a sad backstory, this dude was clearly only hungry for power. He was twisting Caesar's words, enslaving other apes, killing humans, and wanted access to technology capable of bringing destruction and chaos. He's smart and knows how to be resourceful. I find it funny that he was talking smack about humans yet his way of thinking and actions are similar to the bad side of humanity. I only wish we could've gotten more scenes with him; he was underused and I thought he would have a much bigger role based on the trailers, but I enjoyed his presence overall.

Mae: I've already made a seperate post about her character and I still sorta feel the same way about her. Rewatching it again, I got to sympathize more with her situation. She's a survivor who clearly grew up and was taught misinformation about apes, but after meeting Raka and bonding with Noa; i truly believe she'll come around and change her mind. I believe in her, and I hope we get to see her again and get more of her backstory to understand her better.

The movie was great. The plot, visuals, and acting were so well done. I took about 5 years for them to work on this, and it SHOWS. Their dedication shows that when enough time is given; movies that involve CGI can be done properly. I'm sick of projects being crunched and the visuals ending up looking like 💩 because the teams/artists aren't appreciated enough. I definitely recommend watching at least twice, and I pray for a sequel.

[oneatlatime]

City of Walls and Secrets

I am also once again saving the commentary for a rewatch.

I still think rock trains are neat but their inefficiencies hurt my brain. The friction! They should at least install dynamic braking.

That's big. This show has really confined itself to the hinterlands so far, so this is really novel. I had no clue anything this big existed in the Avatar universe.

Complete nitpick time! Given that earthbending is a thing that exists, why bother making things out of stone with individual tiles like this?

Single most threatening musical sting of the whole show so far goes to an overly smiley tour guide.

Wow! I hate this lady already!

"Oh, Ba Sing Se has many walls! There are the ones outside, protecting us, and the ones inside, protecting us from smelly poors!"

"In case someone brings home a lady friend!" Do you know your nephew AT ALL?

Both Iroh and Zuko are right. Life does happen everywhere and without your permission. But, the city is also remarkably prison-like.

He got them jobs in an afternoon. AN AFTERNOON. Stop it Iroh, you're making me feel inadequate.

Once a fuckboy, always a fuckboy. This particular leopard can't change his spots, no matter how he tries to dress up his actions in a new law-abiding veneer. I feel sorry for Smellerbee. Her faith in her leader isn't exactly being rewarded.

So... is there a law on the books that makes being a firebender illegal in Ba Sing Se? Because the head-in-the-sand vibe I'm getting from Judy makes me think that the average citizen doesn't even know there's a reason to dislike the Fire Nation. Iroh and Zuko could probably bend as openly as a waterbender or an earthbender could here.

This whole being handled thing must be dredging up some pretty nasty feelings for Toph. This is specifically what she left behind.

Speaking of precisely targeted torture, Judy is engineered to be as irritating to Sokka as possible. Man of action versus Lady of script.

What a productive use of time! What an exemplary case of turning over a new leaf!

Iroh buddy I have news for you regarding the ingredients of tea.

That's like the nicest thing a member of the Fire Nation royal family has said all year.

How to get Iroh's ass in gear: Step 1: Make insulting tea. Step 2: There is no step 2.

I thought that little thingy in the background was one of those electricity things.

The attention to detail in this show is stupid. There's a moving reflection of the carriage in the water as it goes past.

Hi forbidden city!

Ba Sing Se has a morality police?

I've already run out of patience with the city and I'm 7 minutes in. I haven't even made it to a commercial break yet!

Their house is cute but the veranda is so substantial that it's probably really dark inside. Also there's a pumpkin hood ornament on the roof.

I don't think you can stop there for a month. Have you guys forgotten the now-doubled ticking clock? Eclipse and comet?

Oh ok we're doing 1984 now. Damn. This show goes places.

I stand corrected. Everyone knows about the war and would be appropriately non-welcoming to firebending. But not openly. This could be like one of those Bugs Bunny bits where he traps someone in societal rules. If someone told a firebender not to bend, all they would have to do to get the guy off their case would be to ask why they aren't supposed to be firebending. What's the guy going to say, because there's a war on?

Shout out to Pong for doing the Gaang a solid and providing the only useful info since they've arrived.

There is something very Gollum-like about Jet, crouched in laundry on a roof in the dark, talking to his stolen spark rocks.

Sokka. Feet off the artwork.

Time for Toph to weaponise her oppressive upbringing and out-fancy the fancies in the name of ending the war.

Aang can master an element in a couple of months but a qualified expert declared manners to be beyond him.

I just realised that Sokka and Katara don't have a last name.

Sneaking into a Bear's (JUST Bear's) birthday party may be the single least violent infiltration attempt in the show so far.

Smellerbee is very articulate, and it's rare that this show spells out its themes so obviously. No metaphors, just "you're obsessed. It's not healthy." And Jet still doesn't get it. Maybe Smellerbee should have tried metaphors.

Normally glowy green stuff is bad news, but all of Ba Sing Se's green lighting is surprisingly cozy.

Sometimes, rarely but sometimes, Zuko has to put up with a lot of nonsense.

A raise? Did I miss a timeskip?

Busting in to a local business, yelling about the enemy, pulling out a lethal weapon: How to Look Sane, A Guide by Jet.

Customers, amirite?

I guess the Bei Fongs are too minor as nobles?

"You don't know what I had to do to get seats this near the bear!" but I want to.

I know this guy's voice from something.

Momo ghost plan. I want it.

Pretty funny that the busboys plan works better than the fancy ladies plan. Goes to show you should always play to your strengths.

Get de-wheated punk.

I'm not sure I've rooted for Zuko this wholeheartedly since The Storm.

Jet be like.

Judy is not good at her job. Like really not good. Her insistence on getting out of there before they cause a scene caused the scene. Nice going!

The music slowing down when Judy's face falls is really effective.

You ever get the feeling that it should be Aang who ran away to the circus rather than Ty Lee?

Actually a travelling circus would be a great way to be, and remain, an incognito airbender. Aang should have done that rather than frozen himself. Ok I'm not sure how much say he had in that, but you know what I mean.

For the first time in his life, Zuko has people take his side. It's too bad that it's based on a lie, but it must feel nice.

I would have preferred if Zuko had a clean win against Jet - they're both great with swords, but I thought Zuko was better - but an assist from the funky hat police works too.

I'm getting some funky vibes from the funky hat police.

Bye! I won't miss you!

The face on the guy on the left is the funniest part of this episode.

Now these are some funky hats.

I know this scene is supposed to be scary and tense and action-packed, but I can't get over the fact that the king just did a drive by. They carried him in one side and out the other. This concludes the King's presence at his Bear's birthday party. He's a very busy man, you see.

Long Fang's title keeps getting fancier.

Brain washing crops up quite a lot in kids' cartoons. This is not the first time I've seen this plot beat.

Forget the Fire Lord. Forget the Fire Nation. Long Fang just threatened Appa. Long Fang has to die now.

The Judys are replaceable. Given everything else this city seems ok with, they're probably disposable too. Yikes!

Final Thoughts

This episode was probably the most expository I've seen this season. Maybe even the whole show. It was a big infodump with barely any humour. Actually that's wrong; there was humour, but not to my taste.

Jet is infuriating as usual. I think the writers are going for the villainous decay trope, because smooth-talking season one Jet hasn't reappeared once.

I feel really sorry for Smellerbee and the archer guy. I wonder if they even wanted to go to Ba Sing Se in the first place.

Once again, for the third episode in a row, Zuko is one of, if not the, most reasonable character. Season one shouty Zuko is gone. Is this what I think it is? Has Zuko really turned a corner? If so, I'm liking (rather, disliking less) this new Zuko. This is good. I'm also surprised, because in my experience, if you want to domesticate someone, you don't put them in a customer-facing role. That will have the opposite effect and make them turn feral.

Iroh is having too much fun. It's good for him to have something of his own going on. I think he's been in Zuko wrangling mode 24/7 for the last two? three? years, so he definitely deserves to pursue his own interests for a bit. But I can't see Zuko being a tea boy for long before he's back to needing wrangling.

What's the long term plan though? Are Zuko and Iroh going to live the rest of their lives in Ba Sing Se? Are they waiting for something? Are Iroh and Zuko functionally dead, with Lee and Mushi taking their place?

I will give the show credit for finally coming up with and antagonistic force that Aang & company can't just bend or talk into submission. Bureaucratic tomfoolery covering for authoritarian censorship and information suppression and re-education was not something I'd ever have expected in this show, because it's a little too much like the real world, if you know what I mean.

I don't like seeing our heroes unable to triumph, so this episode was kind of uncomfortable to watch. It felt off the whole way through, which I credit to that creepy music box tune that played throughout. The soundtrack of this episode was a cut above what I usually hear in this show. I noticed it more than I usually do, and I mean that in a good way.

As someone who'd be lucky to pass as a busboy, upper class intrigue and social games stuff doesn't do it for me, so this wasn't an episode I was going to enjoy anyway. I preferred the B plot with Zuko and Iroh, for the sheer absurdity of the concept. Imagine you're in 1950s London, having barely survived the Blitz, and you come across Himmler working in a pub. It's so odd that it almost wraps back around to normal again.

I didn't find this episode very enjoyable. I don't like the forced inactivity that's been imposed on the Gaang. The humour was not to my taste. The worldbuilding was substantial, but - probably thanks to Joo Dee, whose name I've definitely been misspelling - it felt inorganic, like a lecture. Which the writers do lampshade by making Joo Dee sound like one of those audio guide things you rent from tourist attractions. But lampshading a fault does not make a fault go away.

Thanks to what happens to Jet, I know that the people of Ba Sing Se don't dare even think about the war, for their own safety. But after spending more than half a season being shown every type of refugee and victim of war in other parts of the Earth Kingdom, I could not bring myself to give a flying fuck over Pong's concern for keeping his house. The city is frustrating, the officials are frustrating, their priorities are beyond frustrating. Zuko was right when he said he didn't want to make a life there, although I did find the lower ring where Zuko and Iroh are to be far more comfortable than the high ring where the gaang is.

This episode makes me want to bite something.

And still no Appa.

[welcometowhore-rrorville]

𝒩𝑜𝓉 𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀

Featuring: Brahms Heelshire

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: slightly inaccurate to movie, i did not rewatch it before writing this so details might be off, injuries, blood, wounds, patching wounds with unsanitary and unsterile materials, canon-typical violence, horror and thriller themes, sort of fluffy but also dread inducing, hopeless ending? 

-

You hated the idea of going to visit the manor your friend worked at—ever since you’d moved to town, you’d heard nothing but terrible rumors surrounding the place. Still, it worried you that Malcolm hadn’t called. Despite knowing it was probably just him getting caught up with the new nanny—you couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong. He may have been a little love-drunk, but he knew better than to scare you like this.

Especially given the house’s more-than-strange residents, you found yourself with a heavy feeling in your chest. It pulled you forwards, leading to your current situation—taking the closest cab available to drive you up to the secluded abode. 

You clutched your phone with shaky fingers. You’d tried calling, texting, leaving voicemails—he hadn’t gotten back to you. Was this some sort of joke? He played the odd prank every once in a while, but you would kill him if this was his idea of funny. You thought of him as a brother, and if something had happened. . . 

You let out a sigh, looking out at the pouring rain. This was over-dramatic, even for you. He was probably too busy swooning over. . . Greta? Was that her name? And tossed his phone aside somewhere.

You nodded to yourself. You were just being silly—in fact, you should probably just tell the cab driver to take you back home, but by the time you talked yourself out of it, you were already being ushered out of the vehicle. 

The driver tipped his hat, hurriedly clambering back inside before slamming his door and driving off into the night. You huffed. You were going to ask him to wait for you, but looked like you’d have to find some other way home.

Deciding not to worry about it, you turned your focus to the looming black gates in front of you, still partially open and shuddering slightly in the wind and rain. Taking one last look behind you, you stepped in, slipping past and heading towards the looming home in front of you.

You couldn’t make out much detail besides the odd silhouette illuminated by flashing lightning, but the looks of the place were the least of your problems. 

You finally reached the front door, and hesitantly reached out, fingers rapping against wood. Would you even be heard over the storm?

Nobody answered, and you began to shiver, regretting not bringing something heavier than a cardigan and sweatpants. In your defense, you didn’t expect to be visiting the Heelshire tonight, or ever for that matter. 

Without thinking, you tried the door handle, only to find it unlocked. You rose a brow. You would’ve thought a place as fancy as this would lock their doors at night. The dreadful feeling in your chest grew, but you cracked the door open, anyway. It hinged outwards with a squeak, and you quickly slipped inside, shutting it behind you.

The spacious home muffled the rain, and you were left in a dark and quiet manor. You weren’t quite sure what to do. Should you call out for somebody? Should you even be here? No, you answered yourself. 

You took a few unsure steps forwards, eyes squinting in an attempt to see around you. The only glimpses you had were when lightning struck, and so you felt around blindly for a light switch. Did a house this old even have electricity? 

Your hand hit a small lever, and you let out a sigh of relief. You flicked it, eyes adjusting to the now lit entry-way. It was a beautiful place, you had to admit. Everything was aged like fine wine. Ornate wooden railings led upstairs, decorative floor and ceiling crowning etched intricately around the room, paintings of long forgotten places hung in perfect order against the pretty wallpaper. 

If you didn’t know any better, you’d feel comfortable here. But you did, which is why you quickly moved along. You slipped off your wet shoes, socks sliding against the wooden floor as you walked. You weren’t sure where to start your search for Malcolm, and so wandered aimlessly. 

You soon arrived at the entrance to a game room of sorts, though you weren’t even sure if you could call it that. A billiard room was probably the better term, but you weren’t rich enough to dwell on it. 

It was dark inside, but you could see a pool table in the middle of the room. Something inside of you forced you forwards, and you tiptoed into the darkened space. Your fingers again moved to find the lightswitch, and you flicked it on. 

You wished you hadn’t.

Your eyes widened, and you bit back a scream at the sight before you. A man lay dead, sprawled out as blood pooled around his body. You froze, looking at his face. It wasn’t your friend. In fact, you’d never seen the man before.

It didn’t matter.

You rushed over, panic in your voice as you spoke. “Oh, my God,” you whimpered, reaching out to feel for a pulse. Nothing. You figured, but couldn’t help but let out a choked sob. What had happened here?

Your eyes suddenly widened, a realization dawning on you. The body was still warm. Whoever did this was still around.

Panic set in, and you bolted up from the corpse, head spinning. You grabbed a discarded pool stick from the table, clutching it in fear. “Malcolm!” you cried, rushing out of the room. “Where are you! Answer me, please!”

You had no idea where you were running to in this maze of a house. Every hallway led to more doors, more rooms, more spaces with who knows what lurking within. Tears rolled down your burning cheeks. You could only hope your friend didn’t suffer the same fate as the man in the room.

You wound up upstairs, slowing your wobbly running into a cowering walk, pool stick still in hand. You gripped the wooden rod, inching forward down a particularly long hallway.

“Malcolm,” you whimpered, voice barely louder than a whisper. “Please come out. . .”

A faint noise sounded from a nearby room, and you froze in place. Slowly, you turned to your side, staring at the closed door. “Who’s there?” you murmured, unsure if you wanted the occupant on the other side to hear you or not. 

Whoever it was fell silent. You let out a hushed breath. Your hand rested on the door handle, the other hand poised with the pool stick in hand. Counting to three in your head, you finally swung open the door, only to drop your pool stick at the sight that greeted you.

A man was slumped against a dresser, a giant red splotch on his low cut white shirt dripping blood onto his dark pants. His hair was unkempt, curls falling into his face—well, mask you should say. A broken mask adorned his face, revealing a burned and scarred visage. Upon spotting you, he moved to stand, but fell back against the wooden furniture, clutching his wound. 

“Woah, woah, woah,” you chastised, holding both hands out to settle him down. “Don’t move, you’re injured.”

You had no idea what had happened here, but you weren’t about to let another person die tonight. 

You looked around the room for anything to plug a wound before ultimately taking off your sweater, holding it in front of you. You stepped slowly towards the stranger. “Let me help,” you said gently, noting the fear in his eyes. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

It’s not like he had a choice—he was too weak to move, but you wanted to get his permission, anyway.

“Please,” you urged. “You’re bleeding bad.”

He pulled his hand away from his wound, staring at the blood coating his fingers. He stared at you from behind his mask, studying you. Finally, he nodded weakly.

You wasted no time in clearing the distance and dropping to your knees in front of him, carefully lifting his shirt. 

You winced at the sight—a gaping hole oozed blood steadily from his abdomen, curls of hair on his chest soaked in the red substance. “What happened to you?” you whispered, pressing your balled up sweater against the injury.

You felt his body tense underneath you, his hands wrapping around your wrists tightly.

“I know it hurts—I’m sorry,” you explained, trying to shake his hands off of you. “If I don’t stop this bleeding. . .”

Your sentence gave him pause, and he released your wrists, allowing you to continue putting pressure onto it. You knew pressure alone wouldn’t stop this wound from bleeding, though. “Do you have a sewing kit somewhere?” you asked through grit teeth, your hands becoming sticky with gore.

His eyes widened, looking apprehensive. His hands rested close to his chest as he stared at you like a small child stirred from a nightmare. You brought one hand from tending his wound to rest against his clasped hands. “You’re scared. Me too. But I’m not gonna leave you to die.”

Something about your words stirred a fire underneath him, and with newfound strength he moved his sprawled out legs, arms swinging to either side of him as he forced himself to stand. 

You recoiled backwards, arm immediately grabbing his own and placing it around your shoulders. You still pressed your sweater against his wound, making sure to keep it tight enough to stop the blood. 

He was tall and well-built, and you strained against his weight as he leaned against you. Still, you managed, following his every step as he led you out of the room and towards a particularly large painting. Reaching out a hand, he pushed it aside, revealing a small entryway carved from the wall.

You didn’t stop to question it. Those could come later. You simply helped him inside, coughing at the dust floating in the space between the walls. 

Down a cramped corridor the two of you went, suffocating walls pushing the two of you against each other. Finally, the space opened up, and you were met with a small living space—it was unfinished, dusty, and a little unkempt, but as long as it had something to sew his wound shut, it didn’t matter.

You spotted a bed and helped him take a seat. “Keep holding my sweater—where’s the needle and thread?” you said, leaving his side to examine the area.

You saw him look to a desk tucked in the corner and raced over, seeing craft supplies scattered messily over the surface. Finding what you were looking for, you snatched a particularly sharp needle and some fine black thread. You returned to his side, scooting a wooden stool over to sit as you placed the supplies on the bed.

Ideally, you would somehow clean the needle and thread beforehand, but ideally you’d also not be in this situation in the first place. You simply got to work, threading the needle. 

You looked into his eyes, asking for permission.

“Do it,” he rasped, voice deep and barely audible. It was the first time you’d heard him speak. He set your bloodied sweater aside, pulling up his shirt once again.

“There’s too much blood,” you muttered. “I can’t see where the wound stops and skin starts.”

You needed something to clean the area at least temporarily, but your sweater was already ruined. You looked down at your t-shirt. Setting the needle on your lap, you grabbed the hem of your top, pulling it up and over your head quickly before getting to work wiping the area. It would only provide a temporary visual, and so you maintained your focus, unbothered at your now shirtless state. You still wore a bra, but under any other circumstance you’d feel more than embarrassed. But this was an emergency, and a little nudity wouldn’t kill you, but not getting this injury patched up would kill him.

You swapped your shirt for the needle, holding your breath as you brought it to his skin.

“Here we go,” you warned. “You might wanna bite down on something.”

He made no move to take off his mask, or even look away from you. He sat, weak, bloodied, and transfixed. Nobody had ever treated him like this before. You were strangers—you’d snuck into his house in the middle of the night after Greta and Malcolm had left him for dead, working non-stop to save him after finding him bleeding out in his room. 

Now you sat in front of him, half-naked and a worried look in your eyes as you loomed over his injury. He already felt numb from the blood loss, and so barely even flinched when the needle pricked his skin, pulling it up to meet the other side of the gaping wound. 

You looked more hurt than he was, an expression of anguish on your face.

“I’m so sorry,” you repeated over and over, whispering it as you sewed him together.

He brought a weak hand up, gently resting it against your cheek. You looked up from your task, tears in your eyes. He wiped them away with a bloodied finger. You sniffled before getting back to work, knowing he was having a hell of a worse time than you were.

Still, his hand never left your cheek, rubbing soft circles against your flushed skin with his thumb. 

You looped the last stitch, pulling it taut as the wound cinched shut. Quickly, you tied it off, using your teeth to bite the thread until it snapped. You set the needle and thread on the bed, grabbing your shirt once again to clean up the blood that had returned. The stitch up wasn’t pretty, but it seemed to be holding. Only tiny droplets seeped out from between the stitches, black thread laced through his pale skin.

You let out a sigh. “Looks like that stopped the bleeding,” you said, hands stopping, your shirt still pressed against his abdomen. You stared, horrified at what you’d done to him. You just sewed a man like he was a pair of ripped jeans. What was wrong with you?

His hand which rested against your cheek moved to grip underneath your chin, tilting your head up. You met his gaze. There was no malice. No fear. No pain. Only a look of. . . what was it? Gratitude? Sympathy? Love?

You didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. You were sure he wasn’t upset at your patchwork, you knew that much. 

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” you asked, tilting your head. He finally removed his hand from your face, instead skimming over your stitches.

“Hey, careful!” you chastised, hand gripping his own to prevent him from touching it further. “That’s just sewing thread. Any movement could tear your wound wide open.”

His head fell, looking like a child scolded.

“Sorry,” you added, releasing his hand to rest your arms in your lap. “I didn’t mean to yell, I just—I don’t want you hurt. Are you okay otherwise?”

He brought a hand to his face, feeling where his mask had broken. He felt the tough flesh of his scars, burn marks seared into him from the fire long ago. 

“Did you burn yourself?” you asked. 

He shook his head. It must’ve been old, then, you assumed. Was the mask what he was worried about? The porcelain was cracked and worn. It must’ve been important to him.

“It broke,” you said, frowning. “Did that happen tonight, when you got hurt?”

He nodded. “When she left me,” he mumbled, voice audibly higher than the last time you heard it. It sounded like a little boy. You didn’t think much of it, instead more focused on what he said.

“Who left you?”

“Greta. She was supposed to stay,” he said quietly before his hands balled into fists. “She was supposed to stay!”

This time, his deep and raspy voice returned, causing you to flinch backwards. 

“Hey,” you whispered calmly, hands moving to rest on his knees. “You’re okay. It’s okay. Just let yourself heal. We can figure out the rest later.”

“We. . . ?” the soft and delicate voice was back.

“I can’t leave you here like this,” you replied. “And if you don’t mind if I stay a little longer. . .”

You were taken aback when he suddenly wrapped his arms around your neck, pulling you forwards until you stumbled off of your stool and into him. The two of you fell backwards onto the bed, leaving you to try and find a grip on something without disturbing his fresh wound. You eventually settled with your hands on his upper chest.

Your head was pressed in the crook of his neck and shoulder, your legs to his side.

“Stay,” he whispered, petting your hair.

You weren’t usually the hugging type, especially given your still topless state, but you supposed you’d let this slide, being he was severely wounded and almost half of his blood was stained into your clothes. 

“I’ll stay as long as I can,” you replied, each word sending your breath against his neck. He fought back a shiver. “But you need to quit with the sudden movements. I just told you those stitches could burst open with a light breeze.”

“Whatever you want,” he muttered. “Just don’t leave me.”

You let out a breath. This surely wasn’t how you pictured your night going. Still, it was kind of nice to be wrapped in someone’s arms, even if it was a stranger. You pressed against his chest just enough to lift yourself up. You looked down into his eyes. “I never got your name,” you said before introducing yourself.

“Brahms,” he replied. “Brahms Heelshire.”

Your hair stood on end.

Memories of rumors came flooding back to you. The fire. The missing little girl. The strange little boy. He was always clinging to her. He never wanted her to leave. He was obsessed. Unhinged. The little girl never stood a chance. No. It wasn’t possible. That boy died in a fire.

Your eyes gazed over his scarred face. You swallowed harshly. No. No he didn’t. He was alive. And you’d just saved his life. And now you were in his grasp, laying in his arms, in the depths of a house swallowed by haunted memories. You were never getting out of here. 

[morathicain]

Did I rewatch some Kiseki while crafting school supplies today? Yes. Did their first night make me want to write? Also yes. Did I continue my wip? No. But I wrote this and while I don't know if I'll write more to it, I had this need to get into Chen Yi's head for the scene and well, I am half asleep and have no idea if it's worth anything but it's out there, so please enjoy ;)

Ai Di.

Chen Yi blinked slowly, his gaze unfocused but that was Ai Di in front of him. Distant but close and a little hazy, blonde hair falling into his face.

Chen Yi’s throat felt a little dry as he wanted to reach out and touch him, make sure it was Ai Di and not a dream.

He wanted to call him, wanted to ask what was wrong, wanted to … wait, what?

The face in front of him came into focus and Chen Yi frowned as he stared and recognised the tears in Ai Di’s eyes, the look of sorrow and pain.

A surge of care shook Chen Yi, made him realise more details about himself, about them.

Ai Di was naked and he was so, too, his skin hot and his heartbeat racing.

It felt new but it felt right and distant words came back into his mind like a long forgotten memory.

“The only one who will ever see you, is me.”

A shudder went through him and his breath came to a halt.

“You told me you would keep watching me”, he said, his mouth forming words on its own as he could only feel and react and reach, following this strange but secure urge in his veins, the pull towards Ai Di.

Chen Yi had no time to think, all he could do was act on his impulses, on what he wanted and needed right now. His heart had been slain open until it bled and his hopes had been destroyed until there was nothing left aside from shards and ashes.

“He will never notice you.”

The words came back and the reality of them would have been crushing, had been crushing, if there wasn’t Ai Di’s hazy face in front of him, a tear rolling down his cheek and dropping down onto Chen Yi’s own right now.

Something was wrong and Chen Yi needed to make it right.

Drawing a heavy breath, Chen Yi reached up to cup Ai Di’s face, to pull him down against his lips, welcoming him with an urgent kiss, a comforting kiss. Because it was the only way to tell Ai Di right now: All will be well.

And it felt real, so real and right, to have Ai Di’s weight on top of him. To feel his fingers against his skin, to be a victim to his crushing hug, the tiny waist between his hands.

“I’m here”, he promised with another kiss, fingers trailing alongside the choker.

“It’s okay”, he reassured with tender touches, as if Ai Di could vanish into the hazy fog any second again.

“No need to cry”, he wished as he let Ai Di take the lead and gave him all he had to give with a burning heart and a body aflame.

[myothertardisisonthemun]

I just watched the first Doctor Who 60th special. Here are my immediate, unprocessed thoughts:

I am still a little sceptical, but it is starting to feel like a return to form, one can definitely feel the RTD touches coming back. It's a little older, and of this age, but there's a familiarity there.

Anyway spoilers, here are some detailed thoughts:

Things I really liked:

- The opening landing of the Tardis, an alleyway somwhere in London, the spaceship crash very much 2005 era vibes.

-Donna missing all that. Of course she does.

- New tardis interior, it's nice, it's the very cutting edge minimalist feel to it, which is a different flavour from what we've had for a long time, (usually not what I like, but its) refreshing, yet it still very much echoes the past, and the first Davies era - I am reminded of the bit where he or the designer of the 2005 tardis said it was imagined as the top half of a sphere, here it's basically a full sphere.

And they just had to flex how much of it was a real large set, and its pyrotechnic capabilities. Also, it's got RBG.

- I thought the pacing was good. Was a little worried they would dwell on the regeneration mystery a bit at the start but instead they moved straight on, and the doctor started doing stuff

- they did the 13th's era "the aliens you think are the baddies aren't" but they did it well, rather than just ok.

- It was brave of them to include a transgender character - I am not from the UK, but from what I hear, there's controversy and fuss going on over there.

The was a bit near the end was a little clumsy (see next section), but this reminds me of RTD era one's deliberate casual inclusion of gay and bi characters during the 00s, which was a different era. This feels like that.

Many of this feels like RTD finding either unfinished business, or new bits to add to old themes, and it was nice to see. But now, on to the

Did not likes

- I didn't like that they fake outed on Donna's death. Remeber that era of the show where they were afraid to end things? The solution of the metachrisis being having a daughter and splitting is ok. I could sorta see where they were going, and why they did it...

But then, personally, I didn't like that sort of stuff that much in RTD, like the "doctor who space Jesus moment", or Donna magically gaining all that timelord knowledge from seemingly nowhere in the first place.

-the "male presenting timelord wouldn't think of this" bit seemed like a sexist jibe, come on, that's not really that feminist or progressive. Tbh, the whole bit where gender somehow mattered in an unclear way felt kinda clumsy to me. Maybe if it had been better set up earlier, without ruining the casualness if earlier character scences... idk.

-the sonic makes force fields now. They made it clear that it's not that instant or convenient, but will this get overused? Forgotten in future when it could be useful? Ruin future plots? Idk, it's always a risk adding a new power to the sonic.

Undecided:

The only thing I am uncertain about is we never saw Wilfred Mott again, bit he's apparently alive somewhere? The actor died, apparently they chose to make it that the character did not, but we still don't get to see him?

But for the first time in a while, this feels like an episode I would actually rewatch. In fact I'm looking forward to when I watch it again with my mum.

I'm actually feeling a little bit excited for doctor who again. I love that. I missed that.

[self-loving-vampire]

I can't remember what the very first anime I watched was at all but I do know that during my childhood - before I even started going online to find stuff and relied on whatever was on Salvadoran TV - I saw at least a couple of episodes of the following.

Dragon Ball (original, Z, and GT).

I didn't like DBZ nearly as much as everyone else in Latin America seemed to. A lot of the fights felt not only slow but also kind of mechanically uninteresting.

Cardcaptor Sakura.

I surprise myself by feeling this nostalgic over such a cute and soft show. It's very different from what I normally like. I guess even I have a softer side sometimes (@thirteen-jades this is not an invitation to forcefem me).

Corrector Yui.

I have very few memories of this show. It was about an internet magical girl or something? I want to rewatch it sometime.

Ranma 1/2.

My parents explicitly forbid me from watching this, so of course I did it anyway when they were not around. They really didn't like the idea of a character who could transform like that. I only watched this one pretty early on before scheduling made it difficult to even find so I had only vague memories of it prior to a rewatch I started with my girlfriend.

Pokemon.

I got into Pokemon before anyone at my school knew what that was. I remember that much. I was more of a casual fan (could not play the games for the longest time since my parents thought games Encouraged Vice) and only watched the anime for a while before falling off eventually.

She was great, though:

Sailor Moon.

I have memory gaps about this one as well. Pretty sure I watched less than 10 episodes total, out of order. I think it was on a channel I didn't really know the schedule of, and at the very least I'm pretty sure it wasn't the same one that had most of the other shows on this list.

Digimon (all series up to and including Frontier).

I know they're not really comparable but I think I preferred the designs in Digimon over the ones in Pokemon. Also, I distinctly remember that this scene in particular poked at my ryona and defeat kink before I even knew what sex was:

Monster Rancher.

What the hell even happens in this show? I remember some of the monsters but absolutely nothing about the events of even a single episode. All my memories of it are just gone.

Yu Yu Hakusho.

Felt way more interesting and varied than DBZ to me, and I also found the characters to be more appealing in lots of ways. Still only remember it vaguely, though.

Rurouni Kenshin (oof).

In hindsight the fact that Soujiro was my favorite character makes me eventually becoming a Kohaku kin kind of predictable. Anyway, I think this was one of my favorites and also a good source of fuel for my growing ryona kink. Love shows where attractive men injure each other so viscerally (one of them even gets a chunk of his shoulder bitten off in a major fight).

Unfortunately, the creator completely sucks in such a way that also makes parts of the show feel hollow now.

Mon Colle Knights.

Only vague memories of this one too. It was decently cute, I guess?

Saint Seiya.

The Latin American dub of this is actually so much better than either the English dub or the European Spanish dub it almost feels unfair. Even the opening sounds about as good as the original, and I say this as someone who generally thinks Spanish is an ugly language with bad vibes. No wonder it seems way more popular in Latin America relative to the US.

Cyborg 009.

It was okay, I think? Not really into that older style of cyborg design. I can barely remember much else.

Yu-Gi-Oh! (only the original series at that time).

Like with Pokemon, I was into this before it became big in my area. I haven't forgotten nearly as much about it as I have with many of the other things on this list either. Especially where the first season is concerned I'd say I remember everything reasonably well (obviously not the turn-by-turn details of every duel or anything but yeah).

I notice that with a lot of the shows on here the main draw for me really was just seeing all the cool monsters, but I did come to enjoy the game and just the sincere insanity of the setting too. I also now associate this with master and Past Me.

Duel Masters.

Mimi was kind of cute. I liked her outfit. The show itself was... kind of weird, to be honest. It's one of those shows where the dub was basically a joke (more so in English, though).

Captain Tsubasa.

Those guys can get really intense about football. Can't remember much other than an episode where a guy is trying to overcome a fear of being hit by the ball or something? Pretty sure I only watched this one when I was stuck somewhere where I could not watch or do much else.

Plus some others I am also failing to remember. Genuinely kind of distressing how hazy my memories of these things are.

[rigelmejo]

Little things I did recently:

Listened to 20 minutes of Silent Reading chapter 1 audiobook, twice. Understood more the 2nd time around. But I'm relying on remembering the plot to follow the description heavy portions. The dialogue portions I can follow almost all details, so they help me identify which scene I'm listening to. Exciting and humbling. Exciting because I CAN mostly follow the audio Drama now (i listened to a bit last week) whereas in the past I was lost with nl descriptions to orient me and limited comprehension of comversations. But humbling, in listening to the audio BOOK now, because back when I was reading modu as chinese practice I was Very Familiar with the descriptive words and the descriptive paragraphs were how I guessed what scene I was listening to (compared to chinese chapters I'd already read before and looked the words up). Where now, the descriptive words have faded from my mind, and are the harder parts to grasp the meaning of now. I think that...overall, my chinese listening is Better now than it was 6 months ago. But I can tell that the reading-only vocabulary I've picked up is much rustier in my memory, and much harder for me to recognize in listening with no hanzi to look at for reference.

Read 5 panels (chapters) of 19天. Ended up looking up 聚会 because I couldnt remember the "gather" hanzi was pronounced ju. For some reason I kept thinking it was zi like purple 紫. But no, it was ju, for gather: 聚集 gather (juji), 聚会 (juhui) reunion. Again, I recommend that manhua if you like funny, physical comedy, slice of life. It's fun, and even if you can't read something then the pictures have a lot of the comedy anyway.

Watched 40 minutes of qi hun (hikaru no go cdrama adaptation) in only chinese. NO subtitles. First time I tried watching a show with zero subtitles including no chinese subs. I've been listening to audioboks with no text recently though, so I guess I felt I might as well try a show with no subtitles. Hikaru no go is on iqiyi youtube free (still free thank goodness), and iqiyi is one of the channels that has no hard chinese subs - you can turn on english or chinese subs, but they arent pre-made on the video. It was really cool to try! 1. I understood almost every detail! I got lost when Chu Ying said some "sayings" to kid Shi Guang, and when Chu Ying explained playing go I only understood him saying the size of the board/placement number choices, I was confused about the rest of the explanation.

I didn't understand a few lines kid Shi Guang said, but he's speaking like a kid muffled and quick during those lines and I got the gist. It was really exciting just being able to WATCH the scenes, my focus not half torn on the subs. To actually hear how the lines are said, without translation changes. Some words I could guess from context like xia qi 下棋 for play go, since Chu Ying keeps saying 我想下棋。 and shi guang keeps saying to stop crying ToT. But I do think I could have guessed the parts I didnt grasp, like Chu Yings "sayings" if Id had the chinese subtitles on and saw the hanzi to help myself figure out what he meant. So I may rewatch the episode with chinese subs. But since this summer is about improving LISTENING COMPREHENSION, I am just pretty exciting it went so well. Also the show is just so comforting. Id totally forgotten Shi Guang's little intro where he explains what the show/journey will be about!

I wonder if they dubbed the show? I assume they dubbed it, probably, since most cdramas do. But kid shi guang and the other kids talk pretty natural sounding (not like trying to sound "acting" if that makes sense, with clear projected enough voices), which reminds me of To Dear Myself with zhu yilong which either used audio filmed During Scenes or instructed the actors to dub themselves speaking more realistically (i dont remember which, that show just had a Very realisticly visual audio and acting feel). Adult shi guang also has a very natural sound to how he speaks, like the sound of his voice we hear is how he would sound if talking to regular close friends.

In Japanese Glossika app, I've studied 1129 sentences, done 9137 reps (repetitions of sentences), and studied 24:39 hours. Glossika labels me in High A1 14.7%. While I've still got some significant complaints about the new glossika app japanese course, my stubbornness to complete all the fucking sentences and judge for myself how good/bad it is has definitely Motivated me to Study japanese more. I've studied those 24 hours in the past 3 weeks, so a little over 1 hour a day of studying on average. Thats way more than the ZERO time per week I was spending on japanese, and its audio so I've been able to do it with my regular life schedule.

(Truly glossikas Only Unique benefit to me is the listening mode, so I can press play and it gives me new sentences and reviews at time intervals it schedules on its own, so i do not have to put any effort into figuring out what to do next or take time away from other activities to constantly click my screen for an hour... i can just click play new, or click play review, and continue on with my life knowing I'm learning some new stuff and reviewing things i need to. If anything else fucking had this feature id jump to it instead. Clozemaster Kind of had this feature - and i paid for a while just for it - but clozemaster's Radio mode did not split new from reviews and did not spaced repetition schedule the reviews so there were a LOT of days i wouldnt hear new sentences or id review the same 300 sentences instead of different ones out of the 2000+ i had studied).

I am curious if the Chinese Glossika app course is better? I know the old cd chinese course was fairly good, as learner reviews mentioned some alternately worded things but nothing worded Wrongly. So if the new chinese app course, please please please, just used ANY of their people on staff who know chinese (like the maker of it) to human translate, then their chinese app course should be one of the app courses with the LEAST errors. Since its a language they, presumably, have the most access to human translators for. And im curious if therefore i could study using it. Or vice versa, if the new chinese app course is trash id like to review how fucking far their quality has tanked. I recognize more chinese than japanese, and i'd be able to tell within 500 sentences roughly what the error rate is in the chinese app course.

[trickster-shi]

WIP Updates

Been a while since I did one of these, and I should honestly be trying to sleep so this damn sore throat/respiratory crap goes away, but I just can't breathe when I lay down >_< however, I'm feeling a bit better than a couple days ago so I'll do this update and see if I can concentrate long enough to get some words in on at least one of these projects.

Project Zander:

I finished chapter five last night and sent it off to the beta readers. That one took a while to really come together to my satisfaction, especially the past scene. I had over 10k words on this chapter at one point before figuring out what it needed and cutting it down to 6500.

I am now working on outlining the next five chapters before I dive into chapter six.

Untitled Original Project:

I decided to scavenge some parts from Teenage Vigilante Witch and build an original story out of it. So far I like what I've got, which is about 4k words and needs a lot of outlining. Still keeping the found family aspect, but I'm doing a lot of world building and outlining to ensure it's a very different story from Teenage Viginate Witch. Looking back on it now, there was a lot of stuff I wish I'd explored in that first story, but it was written very fast and thrown up on archive to prove to myself that I could still write. I never intend to go back and edit or rewrite any of it, so I'm going to take the potential it had and put it into another story and take it a couple jogs to the left. Mostly, I'm going to be exploring that guilty/vigilante mindset with a spell amnesia twist that slowly pulls back to reveal a truth better left forgotten with a different take on found family. Still working out a lot of the details but I'm excited for it.

Home Across the Universe #10:

It's a little over 3k at the moment but I have notes and scenes in my email that I need to get and stitch together in the draft, so it's likely closer to 5k. Also, I already have the ending outlined and I'm excited to get to that since it's a cliffhanger I'm gonna get yelled at over. Looking forward to that. I may poke at this one today and see if I can get some more written on it.

Rabbit Come Home part 4:

Also a little over 3k written, I'm still outlining the scenes to make sure I include everything I need to so it's a satisfying ending. I'm shooting for this to be the end of the series and there are a lot of threads to tie off.

Into the Black, Episode 3:

Also sitting at 3k, this has a couple of chunk sitting in my email I need to stitch in as well. I haven't worked on it in a couple weeks and need to sit down and outline my scenes to figure out where it needs to go. I have a vague idea but not enough to work on, especially today with my mind being fried from sickness.

Untitled Sequel to the supposed Jurassic World/Teen Wolf Oneshot:

I told myself it was a one shot and I believed it for a while, but a plot bunny bit me after a recent rewatch of Fallen Kingdom and I now have...5,515 words of a sequel. It goes a bit AU from Fallen Kingdom because I had high hopes for the promises that movie set up for Dominion that Dominion just did not deliver for me. I'm still let down about that, apparently. I'm aiming to keep the story small in scale, but it was fun pitting Stiles against dinosaurs the first time and this sequel has him showcasing some more of his smarts while injured and a little delirious from pain meds, so it should be entertaining.

Aaand, that's all I've been working on lately. Hoping to get the next Home Across the Universe oneshot finished and posted first, though I'm not making any promises or predictions on when that will be. Hopefully I can scrape together enough brain cells to work on it today and get it closer to the end scene.

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: May 2023

If you notice I haven’t read as much this month, it’s because I got the new Zelda game. But between my vanquishing of evil I still managed to fit in some other media! Here’s how I spent the month of May.

……….FILM……….

BlackBerry (2023) Having grown up in Waterloo Region I didn’t have any interest in seeing a retelling of the story I mostly knew but this was really great! Surprisingly funny and frenetic and a truly unhinged (in the best way) performance from Glenn Howerton. Good stuff.

John Mulaney: Baby J (2023) I naively thought “I wonder how much this’ll touch on the drug stuff?”... turns out it’s all about the drug stuff. Cool that he was talking about it so openly, and made it so funny, but I wonder if there was more material that got cut? He briefly mentions a trip with his son and I would’ve loved to hear more about that. Anyway as a comedy special it’s really great.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023) You know I haven’t been interested in the last few Marvel movies but this one felt like it was going to be different..and it was! So many moving parts but I never had trouble keeping track of character motivations or story beats and the whole thing was really beautiful. I mean even the really gross stuff was fun to watch. Keen to go back and watch this as a trilogy down the road.

The Suicide Squad (2021) I was excited to see Guardians of the Galaxy so at the start of the month I rewatched this. Still impressed at how this can be equal parts a gross out dick joke movie and also built on a foundation of community and family. Builds well, nothing feels repetitive, and the finale doesn’t overstay its welcome. Really great stuff.

……….TELEVISION……….

The Bear (Episode 1.01 to 1.03) Never have I felt so stressed watching television. Really captivating episodes and I’m very excited to watch more.

Ted Lasso (Episode 3.08 to 3.10) Maybe it’s the time away from season 1 and 2, or maybe something happened behind the scenes, but season 3 feels different. Some eps really hit, and even some moments within those other episodes, but it all feels rather unfocused. Maybe it’ll stick the landing but my confidence has been shaken.

The Most Hated Man on the Internet (Episode 1.01 to 1.03) Perfectly paced. Just enough detail to get invested but after 3 eps it felt like I experienced the full journey. Really interested to see the public’s perception of revenge porn shift over time and I can only assume this website (and its founder) played a part in that.

……….YOUTUBE……….

Down the Off-Grid Rabbit Hole... by Maggie Mae Fish Love simultaneously learning about a corner of the internet and also how it’s exploiting others. Just wild. VIDEO

Why so many people need glasses now by Vox Turns out kids need to spend more time outside for legit biological reasons? Who knew. VIDEO

How Nintendo Solved Zelda's Open World Problem by Game Maker’s Toolkit Hey maybe you’ve been playing the new Zelda and if you have, you’ll find this interesting. I sure did. VIDEO

……….READING……….

The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt (Page 165 of 500) The first time I read this, it really helped me understand the perspective some folks take on divisive topics. There was a sort of comfort to finally seeing what they’re seeing. In rereading this, I find myself getting angered while reading. The book is over 10 years old and while still relevant, it often feels quaint when talking about the widening gap between political parties. Its neutrality feels almost naive to me? Maybe I’ve forgotten a key chapter that helps.

The Fade Out by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips (It doesn’t have page numbers...maybe 1/3 of the way through) Murder in old hollywood is just so cool. I’m really digging this so far and the art, characters, and pacing feel thoroughly natural. Every reveal is just so casual cause to these characters, it’s just their lives, and I love that. Big fan so far.

Ultimate Spider-Man Volume 8 by by Brian Michael Bendis, Mark Bagley, and more (Complete) I always liked the smaller stories in this volume that focused on Peter’s personal life...like break-ups and dating other superheroes and stuff. But for some reason the Jean DeWolff/Kingpin/Moon Knight stuff always just felt kinda rushed? I dunno maybe I like everything to be a little more fantastical or suuuuuuper mundane. None of this in-between shenanigans. Give me highschool or give me death.

……….GAMING……….

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (Nintendo) So good. I walked past a house that was redoing their driveway and had a bunch of construction stuff covered in a tarp and I immediately thought “hmm I wonder what I could build” and that...is the sign that I’ve played this game too much. Big fan 10/10 change nothing.

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The Mof1 Crew did some downtime planning ahead of a heist/attack combo that worked out pretty well! We played out events in weeks instead of in real time (for both the players and their enemies) and it worked pretty well!

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The group is still navigating a rival adventuring party on the island and seeing what happens now that they’ve let their star-collecting duties slip. Big trouble. You can read about it here.

Anyway that’s it. See you in June!

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Give me all your thoughts on bly manor I love that show and I'd love to hear what you think!!

Augh, so first of all: I loved it! It made me cry so much, especially during the last episode. It broke my heart into a billion pieces and I loved that it did.

Going into it, all I really knew about it was that there's lesbians. I also did know that it was made by Mike Flanagan, who's stuff so far I've really enjoyed. Hill House also broke my heart so I was expecting more or less the same here.

I loved the spirits and how they were a symbolism for the trauma the characters faced. I especially really liked Dani and the look of her ex's ghost. Honestly everything with Dani was just incredibly done imo.

Also love how the show has such good character moments in between all the scary stuff. It really makes the tragedy so much more tragic. (The only thing I'll say is that I do think there should've been a bit more between Dani and Jamie before they got together. It felt a bit rushed imo, but not by like much, just think another scene or two would've helped).

I love Owen and want nothing bad to ever happen to him ever again.

Hannah being dead was so heartbreaking. She was so sweet and cool, and the episode where we find out she's dead also made me cry 10 billion times. Hannah was probably my favourite character overall in the show.

The kids were really well written and acted imo. Kids in movies can sometimes come across as too annoying, even when it's not intentional, but bly manor never had that problem.

Okay also just having lesbians in horror is something I always appreciate immensely. I feel like I've cried every time there's been good lesbian rep in a horror show or movie and I hope there's more to come in the future (genuinely have cried at this, hill house and fear street).

I watched the show a few months ago now, so I unfortunately can't tell you in like full detail my thoughts. I've forgotten some specific scenes and parts, but overall I loved the show. I'll probably rewatch it at some point in the future. I also definitely need to watch Midnight Mass as well.

[haeroniel-doliet]

Bonus content: heres the super speed summary of how I struggled through the dinluke big bang piece I started over 80 days ago! More thoughts and details on my process below to cut

- Overall wanna post this with all the flaws galore for my future self, not at all because I've just left the record function on, forgot about it and now I have this!

- Good reminder that the worst thing is blank paper and just getting something down okay, rough simple lines convey ideas its all good!

- Drawing on an airplane produces questionable results (the first more refined lines, not NEARLY enough references in use)

- Speaking of, never regretted following a reference over trying to improvise. I feel like it always looks better (that smoke is one good example!)

- Redrawing and redrawing sometimes is so worth it, other times you should just let it be and move on (those first trees before the yellow dotting were kinda okay honestly!)

- Less all sorts of different brushes is better, for consistency :')

- Theres many parts I'd forgotten that in hindsight maybe look better than the end result (like overall composition being bigger and with better feeling of space) but choices were made and I gotta choose to be happy with and proud of the completed piece, afterall its better than all the dusty never finished wips.

- Definitely didn't quite follow the big bang deadlines, I'm sorry :') in general I'd consider that greyscale to be 20% sure (proof of idea and a layout figured out!) But hilariously after what I posted for even 80% I went and redid all that work. (Maybe its not actually totally redoing if you're making the same just improved! All the ground work took its own time and I wasn't starting from scratch at all.)

- At the very end it gets abruptly cut off, despite asking the program to leave on the last frame for a bit... Then I remembered the panic I had just yesterday, because the file for these screenshots took up too much disk space and caused Krita to crash, losing all the progress of like good bit of little adjustments and corrections. I guess I never turned the recording back on, so the very final few hours are missing, but thats okay! This is not professional! (Spot the absolutely tiny differences with the final image posted :p)

-Also realizing after many a rewatch, there's been some glitch with it not recording me recolouring the characters entirely!! How sad, but you can see the difference from when they pop up around the time I'm redoing the trees and at 02.53 and when they return all redone at 03.07

- Theres a lot I don't love, theres a lot that could be better if done differently, but I really have to start being okay with being done rather than perfect!

- Really proud of myself for dedicating to doing a more involved and detailed background/scene than i've ever done before digitally. I've pushed beyond my comfort zone of just characters with a hint of a background, it will get better from here!

- Did I need to post this with all sorts of bits missing? No, definitely not, but hopefully someone will find this interesting, and my future self feels that this was helpful!

[maryholmes94]

So, the road to the season 4 of 'Sherlock' was a long one, but yesterday my brother and I finished rewatching it. Of course, it all started with 'The Abominable Bride', one of the best episodes of the show, which presented the rare opportunity to look at the sherlockian universe through the eyes of Sherlock Holmes himself. And this episode also proved that Benedict Cumberbatch is not just the best Sherlock Holmes, he's also the best Sherlock Holmes of the Victorian era, which is something. The season itself began with 'The Six Thatchers' - despite some 'spy' details, a very real and down-to-earth story of family, marriage, betrayal and fate, which ended with a heartbreaking tragedy, and Mark Gatiss once more proved to be a great portrayer of the complex characters. With 'The Lying Detective' Steven Moffat delivered his best screenplay in the whole show - perfectly structured, with many important details, intrigue and a balanced tense atmosphere. And 'The Final Problem' - well, I can just say that it was worth waiting for, and it had such emotional intensity and such profound meaning that all the disappointments of the previous seasons (Moriarty, Irene Adler, 'The Fall' and even Magnussen) were forgotten. It's the only episode of the show which grips the attention from the very beginning till the very end, and it tells a tragic story of a family 'lost and found', and of forgiveness, friendship and love, at the same time still remaining a Sherlock Holmes' story.

And what's next? To be honest, when I first watched 'Sherlock' five years ago, I didn't want it to have a fifth season - I thought that it would be impossible to do something better than 'The Final Problem'. Then I've started to write my own 'season 5', and of course it's not what Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat want to write, but now I feel that I would love to see what else do they have to say about Sherlock, his family and friends. Despite all the details and decisions that I still don't like about this show, it's clear that the two of them are now and will remain for a very long time 'the best after Sir Arthur Conan Doyle', because no one else thought to look at Sherlock Holmes in this way and portray him as such an incredible and very kind human being. So I thank the two of them very-very-very much for this show, and, as Mark Gatiss put it three years ago, 'stay tuned' ;)

[chaotic-plotter]

eight shows to get to know me

tagged by @dreamerinsilico <3 and yes please, i love to talk and procrastinate. this may be tough, though, because i have a terrible tv attrition rate and routinely just never finish things

1. hannibal - i watched it as it aired (i was still in high school and had my parents really didn't get why i wanted to watch it) and then promptly forgot about it for a while and then it crept out of the back of my brain and smacked me with a giant anvil. and now, here i am

2. chernobyl - you know how some people put on parks & rec when they're doing something and they just need some background noise? i do the same thing with the chernobyl miniseries. no, i will not be taking questions at this time

3. house m.d. - this show has aged like milk. it got its claws in me at the tender age of 9 or 10 and for a long while, it made me want to be a doctor. i've still seen all of it multiple times and have had many a merry laugh at all the ridiculous ddxing

4. broadchurch - another bummer, but olivia coleman is just so good. this is the only show i've ever seen where i thought "hey the leads could get together and i wouldn't even be mad about it," which if you know anything about me, will blow your mind

5. dark - i love this show. there's so much attention to detail and it was such a breath of fresh air to have a show that rewarded you paying attention and was actively solvable in a way that didn't feel cheap

6. haven - old, terrible scifi channel show, how i love you. and how you've been a key comp-title for at least four novel projects now, but let's just say i'm glad i didn't stick around past season 3. weird, supernatural small towns get me every time

7. the alienist - i really like period/historical shows of really any kind, but often they're romance-centered, which for me? boo. but this show sold me on the limited series book adaptation as a concept. also the music f u c k s

8. the knick - one of the only medical shows ever to show the fascia during surgery scenes :3 and for that alone, it goes on the list. that one fact, ignoring everything else in the show, should tell you all you need to know about me 😛

i wish i could give answers that would make me look better or more interesting or let's face it, less goddamn depressing, but alas, these are them. i'm also a serial rewatcher, so it's rare that i pick up something new

i really struggled to pick shows 6-8, so i reached back pretty far into my watch history (and i'm 100% sure i've forgotten something), but i really want to check out some of @dreamerinsilico's historical picks 👀👀👀👀

[awakaru]

Considering that I'm likely just speaking into the void, I'm just gonna jot down the shit I've figured for my Untamed daydreams here lol

OC is a Jiang Clan disciple who started off accidentally befriending Yanli, which then quickly escalated to being close to the three siblings

OC is at least close to Wei Wuxian's level power wise and just as sassy; the two of them together makes Jiang Cheng flip his shit very often but OC is also the one person Yanli trusts to control her lil bro when he's on the verge of being extra unreasonable

(I need to rewatch the beginning again cuz some details have faded so how she ends up going to Clouds Recesses is a mystery right now; been working under the assumption that she was only allowed to go under the guise of keeping Yanli company specifically, so she's not actually attending the lectures when it's going on. [I am currently second guessing this but I really don't recall Yanli being at the lectures?? Ugh])

Anyway, assuming she isn't actually at the lectures, one day OC bothers Wei Wuxian for a copy of the Lan Clan's 3k rules for funsies

Cut to later when Lan Wanji finds her with her own written copy of the rules, but it's only the ones that she personally believes actually makes good cultivators, and ends up explaining her thought process to him when he doesn't leave (something about some of the rules aren't things that can actually be changed about a person like temperament and trying to make people conform to them can be damaging in the long term, plus some other stuff that I seem to have forgotten atm)

While thinking idly about if any of the other cultivators present would potentially have a crush on her during the lectures my brain fuckin screamed "NIE HUISANG" and honestly I couldn't dispute that, so that's a thing lol It's one-sided as fuck though

Like I had the mental image of the crush being revealed cuz the fucker has no poker face atp and Wei Wuxian just laughing at him cuz (and this is very silly and clumsy but thoughts are weird) OC's the "girl version" of himself and she would also laugh at Nie Huisang if it ever came up so might as well save himself the heartache lol

I've just been having fun imagining her dynamics with everybody c'=

Her and Jiang Cheng is especially fun to play with, to the point where I can't actually imagine her ending up with anybody else? Which is strange cuz I didn't really plan on romance being a thing. Like, I ideally would've gone for Wuxian but I do feel bad about ruining the soulmates ;; Ah well

I still need to have a very good think and probably write shit more coherently than whatever mess I just put down here lol